#i hope you enjoyed this rant

[yolowritter]

A Perspective on Miquella the Kind

"Miquella the Kind...is a monster." Those are some of the first words uttered by Sir Ansbach once the Empyrean's Great Rune is shattered, and the charm placed upon his followers in the Lands of Shadow is lifted. But...are they actually true? With all the new information we have about Miquella in the Shadow of the Erdtree DLC, it's worth to re-examine all we know about his character. Naturally, a huge part of the community is budy combing every nook and cranny for more lore on this Demigod. And...others are displeased with the new information given, or more specifically, what Miquella's plan is revealed to be at the DLC's end. So today, I want to take a closer look at Miquella as a character, his followers, and of course, the overarching plot which the Tarnished becomes involved in after slaying Radahn and Mohg. As an aside, we really owe the Lord of Blood an apology as a community. Nevermind the murders and cult sacrifices, Mohg managed to beat the allegations! Anyway, I do intend to also give my own interpretation in regards to the more...questionable things in the new Lore, so let's get right to it!

Firstly, it's worth establishing a baseline for who Miquella is as a person. As we all know, he is the son of Queen Marika and King Consort Radagon, as well as brother to Malenia. As a side note, the whole "Miquella divested himself of Saint Trina" situation most likely explains how this family dynamic would be possible, but that's another post altogether. Marika's...questionable marriage choices aside, Miquella has always been described as a kind, gentle soul. In some ways, his narrative place in Shadow of the Erdtree serves as a foil to Marika herself. Where his mother schemes and conceals the truth, Miquella is extremely upfront about his goals. Make the world a kinder, gentler place. And honestly? I believe him. I fully believe that Miquella, having grown up next to his cursed sister and seeing the Golden Order unable to do anything for Malenia, wished for nothing more but to better the world. And after realizing the Order wasn't working, I've no doubt he went on to discover the many, many attrocities committed against those of the Crucible, like the Misbegotten for example. However...this is where things get a little muddy, in terms of morality that is.

Remember that Miquella is basically a God. He is one of the few who can succeed Marika in a new Age. But...he doesn't seem like a fighter to me. He isn't one, which is where Radahn comes in. Now, forgive the aside, but we need to have a chat about what exactly "Consort" means as a word. Yes, it's typically used in the context of marriage, but from the original Latin meaning (I'm no expert here, feel free to correct me), a consort is someone with whom an individual shares a destiny. Miquella himself talks a little about this, both in the fight against Promised Consort Radahn, and if the Tarnished is charmed by his Circlet. Yes, that's the thing he uses to hypnotize people, it's in the item description. We understand the concept of a consort as the more modern interprepation of a romantic partner, a spouse of some kind. However, Elden Ring doesn't work by the same rules. Yes, it can mean spouse, given that Ranni welcomes the Tarnished as one and grants the Dark Moon Greatsword as a wedding gift, but it doesn't have to.

Unfortunately, I think the community is falling into the same pitfall we did with Mohg's wording of his own desires to become Miquella's consort. Unlike Ranni, neither situation here necessitates romantic feelings, and frankly I don't believe they exist here. Miquella was fascinated by Radahn's strength and kindness, and believed his brother would be an excellent person to share the remainder of his plans for a New Age with. And Radahn was, objectively speaking. He's hailed as a hero from everyone who knows him, even Ansbach treats him with great respect should you summon him for the final battle. I think the Vow made between Radahn and Miquella happened before the Shattering, and was something along the lines of Radahn helping Miquella make the world a better, kinder place. It's something the Red Lion would absolutely want, since despite his element being war, we get many accounts of him being an honorable, good man. It would make sense why Radahn at first agreed with Miquella, so let's see why Malenia even needed to go and do what she did in the first place. Why did Radahn not hold up his end of the deal?

To put it blunty, it's because he's a Golden Order fanboy. I'm still not entirely sure how Messmer ties into this from a timeline perspective, but Radahn grew up with his older half-brother (presumably before the Holy War against the Hornsent), his father Radagon, and Lord Godfrey as his primary male role models. Even if Godfrey had been exiled by that point, the evidence of his crusades was memorialized in song for Radahn to be inspired by. Of course he believed the Golden Order to be righteous and good, and wanted to uphold the honorable values he was raised on. Considering his own character, I'm quite confident in speculating that Radahn saw the Order's faults, and probably agreed with Miquella that there was a distance between the stories he grew up on and reality. So naturally, upon seeing his younger half-sibling try to fix things, Radahn quite possibly supported the idea.

Where I think the divide happened...was Miquella's method of problem-solving. As I said before, I've no doubt that he is as Kind as they say; it's just that Miquella envisioned a world without violence and had the power of make it so. His broken Great Rune holds the power to resist charms, so it's pretty reasonable to assume that the whole thing once held the power to perhaps inflict them. Miquella later replaced it with the Circlet he now wears, but still. He was strong enough to evoke a cult following from most of those who laid eyes on either of his forms. Again, I firmly believe he was doing good here, as both himself and as Saint Trina. From Miquella's point of view, he is helping. He grants the restless a peaceful sleep, he gives a home to the outcasts, he protects the Albinaurics, etc. That's why so many people wanted to follow him. What interests me is that Miquella seems to be a classic case of the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

He undoubtebly, truly wants to make a kind and gentle world, but has little qualms about forcing people to stop fighting. As Leda tells the Tarnished when asked about Hornsent, she explicitly states that without Miquella's charm, he would be attacking her and the others right now. Yes, it is arguably better for people to not fight to the death, but Miquella enforces this "good" thing in the wrong ways. Everywhere in the Lands of Shadow, we can see something similar. Sir Ansbach for example explains that Mohg himself got charmed, and that upon trying to rescue his Lord, Miquella brainwashed him as well. And he only sounds upset about it after the charm is broken. This gives us a very interesting character, since Miquella is technically correct in what he states. Should his Age of Compassion come to pass, there won't be any more War, or violence, or destructive conflict. However, taking away people's free will is arguably worse. So, what happened? Why does there seem to be a difference between the morally grey (but with good deeds to his name) Miquella, and the more extremist version we battle in Enir-Ilim?

Well...I think Miquella's Crosses hold the answer. At every site, he "divests himself" of something. It's clearly stated that he had doubts, he second-guessed if this was the right thing to do. He had moral qualms, but forced himself to leave them all behind. And there is one more thing he abandoned. Saint Trina. I believe this is why he seems so jarringly different to what we know about him. Because Saint Trina is his love and compassion. Every genuine feeling that Miquella held was left behind to make space for the more nebulous "Greater Good" of his new age...and evidently, very little that made Miquella himself even exists anymore. Despite the radiant light at the Gate of Divinity, his demeanor seems cold and calculated, much more akin to how I and many others might characterize Queen Marika. In attempting to ascend to Godhood, Miquella ironically became what he sought to destroy.

That's why there's such a difference between the Miquella we hear about in the main game, who does seem to be using his powers yes, but for a good cause...and the DLC version of Miquella, who is abusing his charms. Ever since entering the Lands of Shadow after he cocooned himself, Miquella has slowly divested himself of everything except the greater goal. Godhood is all that's left of him by the time we arrive at Enir-Ilim, which is why Saint Trina begs us to kill him. Miquella has already killed himself in a way, and all that's left is a brilliant yet hollow shell. The genuine warmth and compassion he once held for the Lands Between and their people are void, leaving behind only the unfeeling rays of pure gold, much like the ever-present Erdtree. He seeks to supplant Marika's Age...and then install himself as a God, just like his mother. I'm sure that he did have genuine kindness in his heart, but now...there isn't any left within him. That's why he's enforcing his will upon Moore, Ansbach, Freya, Thiollier and Hornsent. Because he's become just like Marika.

It's unfortunate, and a brilliant tale a self destruction that if correctly decoded shows how masterful Fromsoft is at this kind of storytelling. Now, I'm not claiming to be completely correct in this interpretation, since this is just my personal viewpoint of how and why things played out this way in the DLC. Feel free to drop your thoughts below, I'm more than happy to open up a disccussion about Miquella! Anyway, if you'll all excuse me, I need to go replay Shadow of the Erdtree. I'll see you all soon, but until then, Stay Tarnished everyone!

[nipuni]

Casanova sketches!

[queerdraws]

projecting on luffy again. get bited.

[noxious-fennec]

Hands are too shaky these days

[cacaocheri]

this was supposed to be one drawing!! ONE DRAWING!!!!!!!!! but every time i draw them i can't stop i need to keep going

[notadreamurr]

Everybody go wish @justwantswafflefries a happy birthday RIGHT NOW because she is so awesome sauce!!!!!!!!!!!!

The amazing digital slasher by justwantswafflefries.......obviously

[reilora-borealis]

Broke: c3 is not as good as c1 or c2

Woke: c3 is just as good as c1 and c2, anyone who says otherwise is a hater

Bespoke: we actually can't compare the three campaigns on equal terms until c3 is over, so that we can see the overarching story and every individual character's narrative arc from inception to completion, instead of wildly speculating about what should or shouldn't happen in a storytelling format that is built around improvisation

[itsjaywalkers]

luck came (and died 'round here), ch 2

bartylily | explicit | 2/4

“Always an honour to ruin your day,” he replies, lighthearted, as if all this is just a big joke to him. It probably is. Lily doesn’t think Crouch has ever taken something seriously in his life. “You really not gonna tell me what’s up?” “I don’t understand why I should—” “C’mon, we’ve gotten closer since I saw you sobbing your eyes out outside of the library—” “Shut it,” she hisses, fear gripping at her heart while she resists the urge to take a quick look around, check that no one they know is near, that no one has heard him. “We don’t talk about that. In fact, I’d like to pretend it never happened.” “And why is that? Are you embarrassed by any chance, princess?” “Of being seen with you? Incredibly so.”

[stellocchia]

I've talked about this already in a reblog [LINK] but I do find it fascinating how every time, without a fail, when cTommy would start getting close to someone they would immediately register as a threat to cDream.

cWilbur is the most obvious one. He was cTommy's big brother, his protector, the person he arguably loved and relied on the most. And cDream was very very obviously jealous of said fact. And he'd been jealous from the beginning. And he tried to weasel his way into the big brother role from all the way back in og L'Manburg.

I will never get over the fact that he only ever tried to change cTommy's mind on even being in L'Manburg [LINK because this is fucking funny]. And then later in Pogtopia that he left a special gift basket which included his treasured crossbow as well as the book Tyrant and a bunch of other stuff to cTommy when he only gave Techno (Pogtopia's most skilled fighter) one single either gold or god apple. The fact that, despite saying he would help from the shadows only, he still very much fought the pet wars by cTommy's side. Or that, after confession he was actually on cSchlatt's side and being against cTommy going to retrieve his stuff from his old house in public, he still allowed him in private. And then spent the whole pre-war hanging with cTommy.

He was always trying to get in cTommy's good graces. To sorta take him from under cWilbur's nose. And it didn't work because cTommy has always been about as loyal as you can get, so he went with the best possible alternative and encouraged cWilbur's self-destructive behaviors until he did the job for him. And then he just never brought him back until he was certain that he was no longer a threat to his big brother role [LINK to Tommy literally saying that cWilbur was worse than cDream].

But cWilbur was so SO far from being the only threat to cDream's fragile attachment. And, in fact, I would argue he wasn't even the biggest threat in cDream's mind.

After all, cDream never put that much effort into getting rid of cWilbur. Partially because cWilbur was already spiraling and distancing himself from cTommy, but I also think that he just didn't respect him all that much as a rival. Though that's mostly speculation.

No, the biggest threat was always cTubbo. The best buddy, best friends forever. There is a reason why during exile, while the role he was trying to cover was more akin to cWilbur's role in cTommy's life, his wording wasn't. He never used the term "brothers" always "best friends".

There is a reason why he went through the trouble of utterly destroying cClingy relationship far more than he ever did for cCrime, by framing cTommy, by demanding harsher punishments at the trial, by taunting cTommy and escalating the situation over and over again. And then still by discouraging cTubbo from visiting and by lying to cTommy about cTubbo just discarding his 'my Tommy' compass. And then, when none of that worked, he went for the ultimate betrayal, because he knew it would hurt cTommy immensely if cTubbo gave up the disc he'd been given as an ultimate act of trust, and he knew that he could break cTubbo's trust in cTommy even more. And when EVEN THAT didn't work he straight-up went for murdering cTubbo because my man was fed up (at least if we assume that the staged finale didn't completely go according to plan, but if I go on a rant about how UTTERLY MORONIC the staged finale was here I'll never stop).

cTubbo was always cDream's biggest enemy, and it really goes to show how single-minded he was as a villain that cTubbo being his nemesis wasn't even about cTubbo.

Next level obsession there.

Of course, the two of them weren't the only threats, just the biggest. Bud cDream didn't stop at them. He tried to kill Ghostbur during exile just because his constant presence was too much of a comfort to cTommy and later on actually killed him to revive the version of cWilbur cTommy seemingly hated. He took two of MD's lives because he not only was willing to move in with cTommy, but also wasn't afraid to call cDream out on his bullshit which, if you rewatch that stream, seemed to really bother cDream. Also the fact that cTommy, as soon as he was offered an alternative to follow MD's orders and rules instead of cDream's took it with pretty much no hesitation probably didn't help cDream's dislike of MD. He also never revived cRanboo, and it is very possible that it's because he knew that he and cTommy were friends.

Murders aside, he also sabotaged cTommy's and cRanboo's communication more than once when he realized they were getting close. Which shows that he ether considered cRanboo only a minor threat or simply still useful, because had anyone else visited that much they would be dead.

He also immediately threatened to hurt cPhil when cTommy started relying on him post-prison break. And let's not forget that time cLazar was literally only going to visit with a present and cDream considered it such a big threat that he made cLazar take part in abusing cTommy so thoroughly that cTommy was sure not to want anything to do with him in the future. (also, kind of an interesting coincidence that cLazar was one of the unlucky two selected to be slaughtered for the sake of science...).

Every time cTommy has gotten especially close to anyone, cDream was always there, ready to intervene, ready to deal with the threat as swiftly as possible. Because ANYONE would have been a better choice for cTommy and he knew it. And he acted accordingly.

Curiously, the only one he never took action against was cTechno, though I do wonder if that was just because of how obviously doomed cBedrock bros were from the very start. cDream does know the extent of cTommy's loyalty very VERY well after all...

[anetherealpoetess]

i am a proud feminist, i love haladriel, and i double majored in english literature and communications, so let me just use those credentials to elaborate on the following. choice feminism underscores the idea that empowerment lies in an individual woman's decisions, advocating for the idea that any choice made by a woman is inherently feminist.

however, this individualistic approach, which emphasises personal empowerment over collective empowerment, has created interesting ramifications in how romantic stories are perceived within a feminist framework. namely, choice feminism has intersected with longstanding patriarchal ideas that romance is somehow regressive.

below, i unpack how focusing on galadriel's romantic connections resists both patriarchal and choice feminist ideals that push for an isolated, individualist version of womanhood, which is a lesser version of womanhood, honestly.

both the patriarchy and choice feminism are anti-romance because romantic narratives place the most importance on connection, which contradicts the individualistic ideal of a self-reliant, self-defining woman. but women are not self-reliant, and we are not self-defining. we exist within a larger feminist framework, and men for bi and straight women are often a part of that framework, and this is no different for the female characters we love. to take a female character out of her romantic context is reductive. it reinforces patriarchal ideals that devalue connectedness.

(and why does the patriarchy dislike connectedness? in short, one woman is easy to stop, but a community is a lot harder to control. this is why choice feminism has been allowed to thrive under the patriarchy, because it focuses on the individual, and, as we have established, the individual is no threat.)

you might be thinking: what has this got to do with haladriel or any other ship?

well, this trend of viewing romance as an inherently regressive force aligns with patriarchal attitudes that have long devalued women’s community-oriented narratives as irrational or anti-progressive. and, make no mistake, romance is a community-orientated narrative. romance places a character within a larger context--and by that, i do mean a community--which pushes against the patriarchal and choice feminism ideal of the self-defining woman.

enjoying galadriel primarily through her relationship with sauron does not undermine her character, nor is it anti-feminist to consider how romantic connections might influence or define aspects of her story. in fact, positioning galadriel as self-defining, without acknowledging her relationships, aligns closely with the ideals of both patriarchal individualism and choice feminism, which encourages women to prioritise self-sufficiency at the expense of connection and community.

shipping any female character resists the confines of patriarchal individualism, which isolates women under the guise of independence, as well as the limitations of choice feminism, which prioritises the self over community.

so please do not listen to what anybody says: female characters are not diminished by their romantic connections. the same way we, real life women, are not diminished by our romantic connections. we are enhanced by them, and galadriel is no different when it comes to sauron--or whoever you ship her with, to be fair. you do you, just promise me you'll keep having fun, and promise me you will ignore those who accidentally uphold patriarchal ideals by wanting you to divorce galadriel from her romantic context.

[noangeleither]

"fixing" the panic attack scene to be more platonic ™

im extremely active on twt and have been noticing a sydcarmy tweet go viral multiple times a week (like w thousands of interactions its crazy), and its really great to see how much people love and see it for this ship. recently carmys panic attack scene went viral again, and naturally, some ppl gave their piece about how we are all dumb for interpreting it as romantic. that sydney represents his love for his job or his duty to the restaurant (*sigh*).

this scene imo, is the most concrete proof of this ship. i can excuse (not really) interpreting every interaction between them thus far as platonic but this scene....i just refuse. this is gonna be a long post, not analyzing the scene per se because i can't possibly say anything that hasn't already been said but more "fixing" the scene to fit the narrative of antis, and i hope in doing so really shows there's no other way to interpret this scene as other than romantic. again its gonna be a long post bc im just ranting and i think i will lose my mind if i dont type this out.

lets go.

so first off i like to think of this scene as an equation/experiment. simply a problem that needs to be solved.

problem/reason of panic = ...we will discuss this...

solution # 1 = claire -> failed

solution # 2 = sydney -> worked.

Problem/Reason

s02e09 opens up with carmy and claire finally consummating their relationship, with an interesting song choice might i add and carmy dissociating, looking sad, or broken (???) after. because many have said carmy pulling memories of sydney from his psyche to calm down have to do with work i always remember that, it really doesnt make any sense?

carmy is clearly having a panic attack due to him not being "fixed" as soon as he made it official with claire. he felt pressure from his family both currently and in the past to date claire because she is amazing and perfect. add mikey also being a part of that crowd, and carmy so desperately trying to connect with him when he cannot, is why i think he looks so despondent after that scene. i truly think he thought he would be a changed person after everything with claire and when that didn't happen he flipped...

we know this is the reason bc his panic attack starts with their sex scene and the lyric "I dont know" from strange currencies by REM.

this isn't to say that he isn't nervous or stressed about the soft open but its clear that he's not having a panic attack about work nor have we ever seen him have a work-related panic attack (correct me if I'm wrong). in s1 he has one or two due to him greiving his brother.

platonic fix: To make it about work I would have added scenes like when Carmy started that stove fire in braciole, his meltdown in review, some scenes of his horrible time at EMP, and him grieving his brother. i think these would represent his fear of failure, falling back into old toxic habits pertaining his career, the fear of fostering a toxic work environment like the ny chef and also the idea of "failing" mikey

but theres a reason why none of this occurs bc its not about his job or the opening of the bear. this is explicitly about his personal and romantic love life.

Solution # 1 : Claire

carmy proceeds to try and calm down by thinking of claire through literal rose-coloured glasses...

the music is distorted, he's thinking of his abusive family, he remembers every one pushing him to date claire bc shes a #goodthing.

again...this is not about his job and wouldnt make sense to think of sydneys place in his work life as a soultion to his clear personal problem....

platonic fix: in the story of carmys love life claire and sydney act as narrative foils. they have been compared and contrasted for all of s2. my platonic fix for this would be making the NY chef this first "solution" of a work-related panic attack. he represents a horrible time in his life but also represents a time when carmy was at the height of his career. when carmy gets locked in the walk in and has his monologue, its alluded to that he will revert back to that mind set in order to not let everyone down.

NY chef abused him for so long, it makes sense that carmys psyche would readily go back to his insults and the time he himself was an isolated 'psycho' bc it yielded results.

nothing is black and white and i DO think sydney represents a healthier approach to the toxic mess that is the culinary world and does represent that for carmy. if the show was invested in that, sydney and the NY chef could be overtly contrasted like sydney and claire have been.

BUT again this isnt about his job and dedication as a chef...thus why he tries to think of claire to solve his personal problem, and it fails.

Solution # 2: Sydney

LMFAOOO.

carmy then in a crazy plot twist starts thinking of his platonic work bestie sydney adamu....the love song dedicated by the show to his relationship with his girlfriend is then made clear highlighting some pretty damning lyrics about desire and love.....all platonic btw. yes you are dumb if you think otherwise (*wink*)

I actually have two platonic fixes for this...

platonic fix # 1: if we only wanted to focus on sydney as a person who calms carmy down because shes his work bestie who represents his responsibilty to the bear and the postive change they are trying effect in the culinary world, i would add scenes where they are...you know actually cooking???

i think its pretty crazy how the memories carmys immediately jump to are ones that have little to do with their jobs. when they first meet (would also like to note that when carmy first laid eyes on Sydney, he forgot she was there for a job, so this is his raw reaction to seeing a pretty girl lol) and when she comes back after she quit and their break up fight.

i would add their scenes in carmys kitchen (even tho this is extremely damning bc they were flirting DOWN - they don't make this easy at all). this represents their collaboration skills and the way they WORK and bounce ideas off of each other seamlessly. specifically the scene about him wanting to give her a star, representing his duty to her and the restaurant.

*and no shade to carmy but if his responsibility to the bear/syd as a co-worker was bothering him this much and calmed him down wouldn't he have just immediately called the fridge guy.....anyways*

platonic fix # 2 (the best one): if i was chris storer and joanna calo and i REALLY wanted to sell it that carmy isnt in love with sydney then i would put every single member of the OG beef crew + Nat to calm him down not just Sydney.

im talking to them laughing at family, carmy giving tina his chefs knife, richie in his new suit, carmys one on one w Marcus/trying his donut, nat telling carmy shes pregnant (signifing rebirth/wanting to rid all the toxic abuse from his family), carmy trying sydney risotto, and her face when he said it was tremendous etc etc...you get the gist

and honestly?

even as i type this out im tearing up a little bit bc that would have been really beautiful. carmy is changing. he can and is getting rid of old toxic habits from his family and the mess that is the culinary industry. things are changing for the better....that would be beautiful....IF his panic attack was about any of these things lol.

and to even look at this scene without this need for symmetry and we entertain the idea of carmy thinking about his job as a solution for his personal problem...carmy has said himself (s02e01) that this isnt fun for him. i dont think that means he hates cooking i kinda disagree with the ppl who think he isnt passionate about it. i just think currently its something that doesnt bring him joy but i do think its something hes starting to or at least could have started to enjoy if he just committed to working with syd...

conclusion

theres a lot of....delusion? denial? straight up bias? yes all of that, going on.

idk what is happening bc this show is really great at being subtle. but i dont know whats more in your face, dumbed down, even a toddler could understand, than this scene. if you dont come out of this understanding that carmy is falling in love/currently in love with Sydney...and i hate using this term..but you just arent media literate.

bonus: bc it makes me laugh and connects the purpose and solutions.

i think we need a Snyder Sydcarmy Cut™ of bolognese and omelette.

the start of the episode is when sydney and carmy fight over claires inclusion in the menu, and also when sydney randomly asks him to define his relationship with Claire. the episode would continue until we get to the table scene.

i think its WILD how as soon as Sydney asks him to define their relationship, carmy starts calling claire his girlfriend. then the show proceeds to insert sydney in their romantic montage, shows her tattoo about heartbreak and someone getting in the way of your relationship...THEN proceeds to have carmy compare these two women in his mind and only calms down after seeing Sydney.

i could talk about this scene for AGES. wheres the straitjacket....

[jusst-you-race]

Do you think that in the ccc universe the 2010s grid would have (or try to) an orgy that ended up in disastrous consequences for everyone involved?

STOPPPP this made me laugh so hard okay details under the cut for Obvious reasons (explicit. be aware.) (it’s also… long…)

Firstly!!! everyone is sleeping with everyone let’s be clear here… Seb in particular is quite happy getting around, as is Jenson…

I think the dynamic these two have is very much just friends with benefits except to the Extreme… like they’re discussing a movie they both watched while Seb is tied to the bed with Jenson’s fist up his ass type of dynamic so. I think the idea of the orgy probably starts from them. They’re kissing and telling and sharing notes and it just spirals from there!

Mark is the first victim of their note swapping, for obvious reasons. He’s Jenson’s best friend, he’s the guy Seb is pretending he doesn’t have a massive crush on, they’ve both had sex with him, obviously it’s a topic of conversation! And it’s Jenson that suggests a threesome. Seb tries very hard to be chill about how into the idea of it he is, Jenson sees right through him, one thing leads to another and the three of them have a Great night together.

After, Seb and Jenson do their usual casually chatting about the most absurd things, like Seb asks Jenson something about Nico and Mark is like what the fuck do you two just… talk about the other people you’re having sex with? And he gets a bit weird about it and Obviously Seb and Jenson take that as their cue to be Annoying and Seb goes “Maybe you should invite Nico to our next threesome” and Mark is bright red at this point and Jenson just grins and is like “only if you invite Lewis” which makes Seb howl with laughter because can you imagine???? Those two???? (who are a very toxic on again off again couple at this point) and Mark, flustered and awkward but trying to joke around too goes “might as well just invite the whole building”

And that is where the orgy idea Starts.

Now not everyone is involved, some of them are smart and know to stay the hell away from that mess, some of them are happily married (Felipe’s husband is Rob because I love them with my whole heart), but it’s surprisingly easy to convince a large group once Seb and Jenson start floating the idea past their hookups… Lewis and Nico are the first ones roped in, and it’s partly as some weird psychosexual play against each other where like they both want to be super chill about the orgy to piss the other one off.

Seb tells Kimi who shrugs and is like why not, I’ll bring the little Finn…

Romain somehow just Knows and informs Jenson he’ll be there, much to Jenson’s bewilderment

Seb invites Nico, who invites Checo, who invites Kevin (all of them show up simply out of curiosity)

Mark accidentally ropes Fernando into it when he’s bemoaning what he got himself into and Fernando is like well there is no way I am missing out on this orgy I will come too. This does not help Mark feel better about it at all.

And then Jenson decides to invite the new kid too, which Seb thinks is hilarious, and the two of them corner a recently moved in Daniel who gets all flustered by being cornered by two hot blonds and isn’t quite sure what the hell he’s got himself into by moving here but no way is he turning down an opportunity for an orgy

Somehow a time and a date gets set and people awkwardly rock up to the orgy, all very unsure but intrigued nonetheless, and they walk in on an absolute Scene.

Nico, in lingerie, with a sheer fluffy dressing gown on, mid screaming match with Lewis (thankfully fully dressed), while hand cuffed to Seb (only in an oversized shirt and briefs) who’s clearly trying as hard as he can not to laugh, while Jenson (in jeans but shirtless) desperately tries to pick the lock of the handcuffs somehow looking deeply stressed and deeply amused at the same time. Mark and Fernando are sitting on the couch behind them with expressions of distaste and glee respectively.

Upon seeing this almost everyone nopes the fuck out right there and then and the orgy plan quickly falls apart… the only people who don’t choose to close the door and slowly back away are Kimi, who rolls his eyes before shoving Jenson out of the way and picking the lock in three seconds flat, and Daniel, who’s a little confused but thinks it would be rude to turn down the invitation when he’s still so new

No one’s much in the mood for sex after that

[nobodysdaydreams]

My thoughts on the SI-5

For as much as a lot of fandom romanticizes the SI-5 as a friend group, Kepler really did Jacobi and Maxwell so dirty. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad he got it in the end, and the character himself is hilarious. But I need to talk about this. This man is insane and needs to be held accountable.

First of all, he meets them at the very lowest points of their life. Maxwell is isolated from her family and support systems, and it’s implied her career is heading for the toilet due to her fight with the ethics board. Jacobi’s career is totally over after he was blacklisted from his work, and it’s implied he doesn’t have strong support systems either. Kepler knows that and uses it to manipulate both of them into working for him. They both, especially Jacobi, have such a strong loyalty to him because they saw him as their only way out of their situations, and Kepler does not match that loyalty at all.

How do I know this? Because he was totally cool with Maxwell dying. Didn’t shed a tear. And when Jacobi called him out for that and threatened HIS life? Kepler was like “well okay. Guess we have to shoot Jacobi then.” I was reviewing my episode reactions, and I totally forgot he told Minkowski that. Like he didn’t hesitate or even try apologizing to Jacobi or admitting he was wrong first, he jumped right to “kill Jacobi instead.” He also had the audacity to say “how could he (Jacobi) do this? After all we’ve been through? 🥺” and then what they’ve “been through” is Kepler buying Jacobi fireworks (1) time, admitting to stalking Jacobi and Maxwell for years before he hired them (creepy), harassing and threatening them if they fail to comply with his orders, telling Jacobi and Maxwell they’re worth about as much as a glass of whisky and he wouldn’t miss them (which is verified by his reaction to Maxwell’s death and brief willingness to kill Jacobi to save his own skin when Jacobi tries to get revenge), lying to Jacobi and Maxwell and keeping secrets from both of them, and being an arrogant jerk of a boss who treats them more like his patronized pets than his friends. It’s actually funny how Kepler is shocked that wouldn’t be enough to keep Jacobi’s loyalty after gambling with the life of his best friend. He’s so blinded by his own ego it’s hilarious. Like buddy, it’s a miracle of desperate circumstance that either of them were loyal to you in the first place, you pompous whisky-worshipping buffoon.

You even see it in the little details. Kepler talking to Cutter about Jacobi and Maxwell behind their backs on that one call, the way Jacobi calls Maxwell “Alana” but Jacobi and Kepler use their formal names for each other until the very end when Kepler calls Jacobi “Daniel” and acts legitimately terrified to discover what Cutter and Pryce’s true plans are. Which again, love the way the redemption arc was done and those little details show you proof that Kepler rethought his views and isn’t doing this on a whim and that Jacobi and Maxwell’s friendship, as compared to their relationships with Kepler, was a stronger and more real and genuine friendship. I mean, headcanon what you want, write the SI-5 how you want. But a lot of people seem to either love or hate the whole SI-5 group (I admit this was me for a long while, though I do love post-redemption duck and whisky boys) so it’s easy to gloss over these internal dynamics within the SI-5, but if Kepler survived, I would personally need him to acknowledge just how much of a jerk he really was because yikes.

[noxious-fennec]

Trying out some new designs (aka playing dress up)

[little-pup-pip]

Hey could I get a moodboard for jake from miss peregrines home for peculiar children? Masc with a paci but not decorated please.

Absolutely!!

[sylveriasarcana]

The Passenger and OCD, or, Randy Bradley and his Weird, Violent Therapist

Hi! As the title implies, I think the 2023 movie 'The Passenger' can be interpreted from the perspective of OCD recovery! And I think Randy Bradley might have OCD! I also think that over the course of the movie, his experiences with Benson help him recover from OCD!

I've got a lot of thoughts about this, and I've put them all under a Read More because of how damn many I have! I hope you enjoy them!

First off; an overview of OCD, then an overview of the most obvious ways in which I believe Randy exhibits OCD symptoms, then a look at Benson and how he carries out a very twisted version of "Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)", the recommended treatment for OCD.

I hope you enjoy! I might sleep again after this! That'd be neat!

Please note that OCD is very complex and affects each person that has it differently. In this analysis, I refer largely to my own experiences with OCD. They may not reflect your own. Please do not see this as an attempt to explain everything about OCD, or use this to tell other people they don't have OCD because it's not exactly what I'm describing.

(also a lot of this has screenshots of Benson looking at Randy with "wtf" face so hope you enjoy that)

You're Probably Wrong About OCD (Here's What It Is)

Before we start, we need to understand what OCD is. "Oh, that's when you get really stressed out if things aren't clean, right?". No. It's not your fault if you think that, it's how most people think it is, but it's not. Or at least, that's a very simplified version of it. Here's what it actually is.

OCD can manifest as an obsession (or a "theme") followed by a compulsion to try and ease the distress caused by an obsession. These compulsions are usually illogical, an extreme example being "I need take an equal amount of steps on both feet when I'm walking home from work every day or my grandma might die". Themes, as well, are varied. They are sometimes very taboo - for example, one might experience intrusive thoughts along the lines of "what if you caused serious bodily harm to your partner?" or "what if you are secretly a sexual predator?". A compulsion that usually follows these thoughts is rumination, imagining scenarios where these thoughts are correct and you have to defend yourself in court, for example. If you know somebody who experiences themes like these, please understand it is not a reflection of who they are as a person. They are experiencing intrusive, unwanted thoughts, and they need your support, not your judgement.

Now, let's get to Randy's theme - false memory/real event. False Memory OCD is when your brain literally imagines a scenario for you and tells you it's real, usually a very upsetting one, and dares you to prove it wrong. Real Event OCD is when you are feeling immense guilt or shame over a real event that happened in the past which you are now obsessing over, usually in regard to your own morality ("this happened, I'm a bad person, I can never improve, I am defined by this"). The compulsion to "ease" these themes is usually the same; combing through memories to double check every possible detail of this memory to check if it's real/to check if it's as bad as you remember.

Randy is experiencing a combination of these: a real event that has since become twisted in his mind. He DID cause Miss Beard to lose an eye, but she did not crawl towards him on her knees bleeding and screaming after the fact, as shown in the opening scene. There are other logical fallacies to how Randy remembers the event too; for example, he's the only kid in the classroom when he remembers it. This wasn't the case in reality, and he even says this later when he's gained some confidence throughout the movie. But, as previously touched upon before, OCD can rob you of your rationality.

So now you know what OCD is, and why I think Randy has it. How do I know so much about false memory/real event OCD? Well, because I had/have it. More on that later, but first, let's have a look at Randy's journey in The Passenger and some specific moments that signal OCD to me.

"Your name is Bradley Bradley?": Randy and Over-acceptance

OCD can rob you of your ability to trust yourself and your own decisions. In an extreme case, it could even stop you from standing up for yourself in the most basic of circumstances, for example, correcting someone for getting your name wrong. Randy spent a year at Burgers Burgers Burgers wearing the wrong name badge because he didn't want to correct his manager.

When Randy accidentally injured Miss Beard, the lesson he took from it was that nothing good would come from him speaking up for himself or from making his own choices. "The last time I let myself react the way I wanted to, I ruined a person's life". He has since taken this to an extreme degree, and I argue he is following OCD's orders on that one: "you can't correct someone if they get your name wrong or you'll end up ruining their life too".

When Randy's manager finds out he's been using the wrong name for him, he shrugs it off. When Benson finds out:

Benson was a little too busy preparing to berate a service worker to respond to this (justice for Marsha), but you can imagine the thought process here is, "you let us all call you the wrong name for a year?".

That does not seem rational, does it? But here's the thing: OCD doesn't let you be rational sometimes.

"What are you saying to me? What are you trying to say?": Randy and Irrationality

This is also related to over-acceptance; OCD robs Randy of the ability to think rationally. This is especially noticeable when Lisa is first brought up. Benson asks why Randy and Lisa broke up, and Randy says "her cat died".

Benson has a similar response to what ours likely is: what the hell????

Of course we know that someone's cat dying is not a reason to break up with their significant other (unless it's an Angela and Dwight situation, RIP Sprinkles), but Randy is so deep in OCD and over-acceptance that this IS logical to him. He does not trust himself to think of that situation as irrational. He probably thinks something like "oh, getting dumped because her pet died is probably normal". He doesn't even ask anyone else if it's normal, he's just accepted it as something that has happened to him and makes no effort to challenge or change it, because by OCD's rules, if he does what he wants to do and asks further questions, he's going to ruin someone's life. That's what happened last time, and we don't want to repeat what happened last time, do we?

Ergo, through over-acceptance and irrationality adopted through the presence of OCD, "we broke up because her cat died" becomes a completely logical life event in Randy's world. Can't question it, a bad thing will happen if you question it.

But Benson questions it! A lot! This will be important when discussing Benson's approach to ERP, but first, let's talk about OCD and responsibility.

The Shooting: Randy and Responsibility

Here's one of my least favourite parts about OCD: the way it assigns responsibility to you for everything bad that happens. I can't even read the news without my OCD blaming me for whatever the criminal of today's headlines did. Don't even get me started on YouTuber and influencer drama; my OCD loves accusing me of those guys' crimes!

My heart breaks so much for Randy during the shooting, especially on a rewatch: there is no way he's not blaming himself for what happened.

He's the one that spoke up and asked Chris to stop making him uncomfortable, and following a chain of events, Benson shot Chris and everyone in the restaurant except for Randy. This is never confirmed, but seeing Randy after it happens, all I can think is "oh God. He's blaming himself."

Randy says later that the only time he let himself react the way he wants to, he ruined a person's life. Randy has just let himself react the way he wanted to. Now three people are dead.

We are, of course, not in control of how others respond to our actions. Randy asked Chris to stop making him uncomfortable, he did not take a gun and shoot three people dead. That was Benson. But I really do think Randy sees himself as a little responsible here, and that breaks my heart. To him, his worst fear just came true, his OCD has been proven right: he can't speak up for himself or he ruins lives.

But here's the thing; exposing yourself to your worst fears is exactly how you overcome OCD. This is where Benson the weird, violent therapist comes in.

"Do you see what happens when you do nothing?": Benson and Exposure and Response Prevention

Benson might have the most "don't try this at home" method of this therapy I've ever encountered, but there's no denying he got the job done!

In order to recover from OCD, you have to do "exposures". You have to expose yourself to what you are afraid of in order to train OCD to stop using it to scare you. For example, if OCD has convinced you that you can't touch a certain object for fear of getting a disease from it that you then spread to your entire family and kill them all, the solution is to get your hands ALL OVER that object, and then not wash your hands. That's the "response prevention" part. Another "response" could be reassurance seeking; for example, if you touch the object and then immediately ask everyone if you look like you're getting sick. Reassurance seeking is very discouraged in OCD recovery, as is reassurance giving.

What Randy has to do to overcome his OCD theme is accept what happened, and not engage with rumination. Accept that it happened, but that the world kept going, and that nothing good is going to come from robbing himself of his own life because of something that happened in the past.

Extreme violence and several crimes aside, this is exactly what Benson does for Randy.

Randy, in his mind, began the chain of events that caused the shooting. Of course, this isn't the case; Benson was on the absolute brink and this is just what caused him to snap. But here's the thing: unintentionally, and in a very fucked up way, Benson exposed Randy to what he was afraid of. And prevented a response.

Randy spoke up for himself, and three people got shot. Lives are ruined, just like OCD always told him would happen. Benson doesn't immediately tell him why he's just shot three people - he doesn't offer reassurance. He lets Randy sit with the thought. Randy has no choice but to accept what has happened, whether it was his fault or not.

Here's an example of Benson straight up denying Randy the chance to seek reassurance. Consider the diner scene again:

Randy: What does this have to do with me? [subtext: "Would the shooting have happened if not for me?]

Benson: You mean why are you here right now? [subtext: "We're not doing reassurance right now. Here's what I actually think you need to hear."]

OCD was right, as far as Randy knows. Benson isn't disputing this. And yet, the world kept turning. Exposure number one.

You can already see Randy get a little bit of confidence after this event. In the car on the way to Benson's, Randy tells Benson that his mother had him repeat the 2nd grade, and when Benson gives him a speech about needing to stand up for himself, Randy says "I was only seven".

Randy has probably never spoken that way to anyone in his life, let alone someone he just saw commit a homicide. He has CERTAINLY never defended himself for past actions based on his young age at the time, either; he's spent most of his life torturing himself over something he did when he was seven. But suddenly, the irrational brutality of OCD is cracking a little, and he can see: he was only seven. In a fucked up way, being exposed to his worst fear via the shooting has allowed Randy to see through the haze of OCD, if only for a little while, and realise what everyone else can see: he was only a child. This confidence continues to grow throughout the movie, leading to a moment where Randy feels brave enough to approach Benson, who is waving a gun around in a state of despair and anguish, and manages to convince him not to fire it. This is very different from the Randy we saw at the beginning of the movie, and I argue it's through Benson's exposures that he got there.

Benson continues to put Randy in very high-stress situations, confronting Lisa and then going to visit Miss Beard, the source of his current and most debilitating OCD theme, and in reality this would not be an ideal way to deal with it. It's too much too soon (graded exposure is the way to go in reality), and if this was real life, Randy would probably end his day with Benson feeling much, much worse than he did before due to sheer overstimulation. But this is a movie, and we're with these characters for a day. In the course of that day, I argue we see a really good fictionalised version of OCD recovery.

The way Benson reacts to Randy throughout the movie is really interesting to me. He not only challenges Randy's OCD-influenced thoughts in a way Randy has never allowed himself to ("what, she said 'I can't date you because my cat died?'"), but often finds a middle ground between reassurance and agreeing with OCD. For example, Benson often reacts with laughter when given details on Randy's "2nd grade incident". This may not be the most sensitive or ideal middle ground (and other Tumblr users have argued given Benson's own experiences when he was around Randy's age, he's laughing more in relief than dismissal), but it is certainly a middle ground. Plus, when Randy's OCD sees Benson responding to Randy's worst ever deed with laughter, resembling joy, OCD may be inspired to leave Randy alone a little regarding haunting flashbacks to a twisted version of what actually happened. OCD doesn't expect that response, and that has the potential to reroute Randy's obsessive thought patterns.

And then, there's the actions Benson carries out to make Randy actually do exposures and prevent avoidance behaviours (Benson is, of course, mostly preventing Randy from avoiding exposures through the act of having a gun, but you know). Randy has been avoiding asking Lisa why she broke up with him, because OCD has convinced him he doesn't need a reason and that things are just allowed to happen to him. Benson makes Randy ask her. Randy is afraid to see Miss Beard again, for fear that she hates him and that he will find her with a ruined life. Benson facilitates their reunion, and Randy finds out that his OCD was lying to him. While Benson has gone about it in a hostage-situation kinda way, over the course of a day, Randy has done everything he's spent years being too afraid to do. Benson gave Randy fucked up ERP. Benson is his weird, violent therapist.

But, this isn't all. Benson gave Randy his weird version of help because he did not think Randy would ever be brave enough to stand up for himself against Benson. But he was.

Interlude: This Seems Not Very Straight

If you're somehow on Tumblr reading about The Passenger and don't know this, this movie is often interpreted as queer. And just to clear up my stance on that: yes. Of course it is.

"Oh but Randy says he's not gay!". Yeah, so did the guys from Brokeback Mountain. Means nothing to me. I'm Roland Barthes-ing this movie enough already, why WOULDN'T I be for making it gay?

source. if no one else got me, Kyle Gallner got me.

So, back to my mental illness!

"I was never in charge, Randy": Benson is a Passenger, Too

Here's a difficult truth: if you are constantly telling your friend that they have to stand up for themselves, and they need to be more assertive, once they learn those skills, they will 100% use them on you if you have mistreated them or others, and you have to be prepared for that. Benson was not.

Benson is probably the closest thing Randy has ever had to a meaningful relationship that wasn't a relative, and vice versa. Both characters become deeply important to each other throughout the film, but there's still a lot of toxicity there. Benson may be helping Randy do exposures, but he is also constantly punching him and ordering him around at gunpoint. Randy recognises this behaviour as not being right from the start, hence how terrified he looks in the beginning, but isn't about to visibly get mad at the guy holding the gun. (Though I will say, the moments where Randy allows himself a moment to fix Benson with a cold, hard "why are you doing this to me" glare are magical. He looks so mad. Little angry cat look.).

But Benson "creates a monster". Over the course of the movie, Randy's confidence grows little by little the more time he spends with Benson, the more time he spends confronting his past, and eventually that works against Benson. Randy calls the cops on him, and I urge you to pay attention to Randy's reaction after he does it.

Randy can't believe he's done it. Benson can't believe he did it; later, when he's looking for who called the cops, he doesn't even consider Randy, who was the only one that could have. It's just so unbelievable to him that Randy would do this; it does not line up with the person Randy was in the beginning of this movie.

Randy did it; he's finally brave enough to stand up for himself and make his own decisions. He doesn't want it to come at Benson's expense, and you can see that in this scene as well, and later when he calls out to Benson when the latter is headed out to face the cops. It's switching between joy and fear; the adrenaline that comes from doing what you're afraid to do as a person with OCD cannot be understated. The high is incredible, but the fear that comes with it is overwhelming. All of that is portrayed here.

And then Randy goes out and says, "Benson, I need to talk to you". Not "we need to talk". Randy prioritises himself and his needs. He's brave enough to do that now. And he says all sorts of things that Benson doesn't want to hear; "there's no point to what you're doing", and that for all Benson's talk about taking risks and standing up, he has barely left the town he grew up in all day, even though he has a very good reason to (Benson is currently on the lam). Randy has realised that perhaps Benson needs to practice what he preaches and do a little more of what he's afraid to do.

And Benson doesn't appreciate it at first. "Who the fuck are you to talk to me like this, after everything I've done for you?!" This is the first and most obvious response, "I helped you, you're not supposed to use that help against me! I'm in charge!"

And then, once it becomes clear that Randy used what he learned from Benson to drum up the courage to call the cops, the real response comes:

"I was never in charge, Randy."

The audience has very recently learned that Benson too suffered a terrible trauma as a child. It is not one that is as easily fixable as Randy's. It's damaged Benson too much, and Benson has known this whole time that he can't really fix it or himself. He damned himself with the shooting at the fast food restaurant. He snapped and can't go back. All he's known for sure is that he could help Randy. One last good deed.

Benson is a passenger, too. Benson was under the command of his own trauma this whole time, just like Randy. The difference was that Randy internalised his and punished himself, while Benson externalised his and he exploded like a grenade. Randy was maybe ten years and a few bad nights of sleep from doing something similar; Benson saw that and tried to stop it.

And that's the kicker: everyone is someone's passenger, even Benson was a passenger in the end. But in his own fucked up way, Benson broke the cycle: he fixed Randy. No matter what happens now, he went out having helped someone.

Benson is a weird, violent therapist. But he got results!

"Thanks, for... thank you": Life 'After' OCD

The reality is that with OCD, once it's done with one theme, it'll usually just move onto another. That's what happened to me; once I'd confronted my original false memory/real event, OCD just moved onto something else. But you know what? I was ready for it. And so was Randy.

No matter what way you swing it, you cannot deny that the life Randy has at the end of this movie likely would not have happened without Benson.

If you asked Randy at the beginning of this movie to play the eraser game with you, he probably would have thrown up on the spot just from the stress of you possibly knowing about what he'd done. And here he is, playing it with Miss Beard's daughter, someone he couldn't even imagine existed because having a daughter would have meant Miss Beard had a life after the incident, something he could never comprehend under OCD's spell. Randy tells his mother as he's leaving Miss Beard's house that he's going to get dinner with his friends. He has friends! They probably know his real name! Because he's brave enough to tell them!

And the thing is, you can see Randy appreciate this, and appreciate Benson. He hasn't forgotten Benson; the stuffed animals they made sit proudly among Miss Beard's daughter's playthings. Randy says 'thank you' to Miss Beard, for forgiving him and for allowing him the chance to move on, and I like to think the 'thank you' was also for Benson, too; Benson's methods may have been... unique, to say the least, but you can't deny the results!

Conclusion

I could not believe what I was seeing when I first saw The Passenger. There I was, in the dark depths of OCD, terrified to tell people about my false memory/real event themes for fear of being shunned and rejected or (because OCD likes to get irrational) imprisoned. But then I saw this movie, I saw this character, in the depths just like I was. And I'd never seen anything like it before. I couldn't stop crying. Someone made an OCD recovery movie. With queer undertones, no less! I was being well fed indeed!

And then, Benson reached over and wiped a tear from Randy's cheek and gently told him that he shouldn't be punishing himself for what happened. And then I thought, should I still be punishing myself? I got therapy. And I confessed my own false memory/real event to my therapist. And she didn't call the cops. She didn't yell obscenities at me. She comforted me. She taught me how to heal, and how to live. Without punching me in the stomach outside an elementary school! Didn't know OCD therapists could do that!

I interpret this movie as fucked up ERP. Like, really fucked up ERP. Violence and murder and abusive boyfriends ERP. But, this is the movie that helped me get the help I need. I wouldn't change a thing about it. Someone made it in a lab for me, and I'm so, so grateful. My weird little mentally ill gay movie. I cannot thank it enough.

And I cannot thank you enough for reading this!