#i hope u feel v LOVED

[magebastard]

happy valentine's day marty!! 💕

quill!!!!! happy valentines day my sweet pal!!!

[askgardenerwoods]

hi Emma! Who do you consider your friends do you have a crush on anybody?

" For crushes... "

[swordheld]

hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?

hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].

but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.

it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.

and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.

the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.

an emptiness, like you said.

but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.

you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.

he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.

but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.

how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.

the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.

think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.

i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.

but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.

as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛

[milkbreadtoast]

started reading this one and there's only 11 eps out but it's really cute so far i like it... clicked on it bc the art looked rly good and IT IS i like the art style a lot and it's v well drawn... its also funny and i like the mc a lot shes cute?? obv 11 eps isnt enough to say much abt where the story will go but im enjoying it so far at least 👀... it feels like im watching a cute lighthearted anime haha.. ALSO LOOK HOW GORGEOUS THE ART IS

[charliespringverse]

i think it should be possible to scream without making any noise or disturbing anyone or inviting any questions . just sometimes . as a treat .

[orange-artblog]

aftermare week final day and bonus(ses…. boni???)

geno - crayonqueen / nm - jokublog / aftermare week - @bluepallilworld

these were made for the final day (i didnt get ideas for the clouds part)

(i have this saved for day 4 but idk) yeah girls .

also hi hello it‘s Pipsi (one letter variation from Pepsi as to not cause suspicion from Night) 🥰🥰🥰🥰

[vhvrs]

i talk abt/ draw summer so little but she is like. my fav fav i love her sooo much n i love the specific niche she presents to the story that i rarely ever see in media but also rnm does a LOT of casual things u rarely see in long form media I LOVE HER!!!!!!!

[byanyan]

need y'all to know that some time ago xeno brought it to my attention that jesus of suburbia is an incredibly byan-coded song and i haven't stopped thinking about it since

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

ok but fr why am i still watching call the midwife lol!!?!?

[nulltune]

there was a scene in the manga where hakuno was being strangled HELP!! /j but even then hakuno was asking the attacker (julius) "why are you making that face?" because hakuno could tell that he was suffering deep down 🥹🥹😭😭😭 and we get a julius monologue: "i didn't want to accept that i still had these feelings within me. let alone have this guy see through them. i hate it..."

IT SAYS A LOT ABT HAKUNO METHINKS!!! and these lines too.... i love hakuno's heart sm istg 😭❤️ + how well written the hakuno-julius development is..!!!! hakuno being nice doesn't magically fix everything and there's a lot that happens ue ue uee 😭

i'm trying to keep this hakuno-relevant but PLS IM IN SHAMBLES BC the manga adaptation rlly told us that "if there was one salvation he could've gotten, it would've been having someone who could understand his agony."

and then cue hakuno kishinami-

[radgeorgie]

i love being drunk :)

[lesbian-kyoru]

loved your analysis about arata but about his interactions with taichi i think there time he /is/ being mean or petty on purpose. i dislike a lot when people try to paint him as someone actively evil and trying to make taichi's life hell blabla or when they don't acknowledge taichi does take everything too personally sometimes because of his own insecureness but like... arata can be petty and shady as hell at times with taichi too. they kinda bring this 'bad side' out of eachother but i honestly love this about their dynamic as well. and those feelings doesn't make any of them bad or evil. i just feel frustrated it always have to be one or another.

also it's funny how they have to fight inner demons and jealousy (not necessarily about chihaya) and chihaya is kinda clueless and just vibing (fighting different inner demons)

i feel pretty similarly as someone whose two favorite characters are arata and taichi! most analysis i've come across unfortunately tends to skew heavily against one of the boys, which isn't surprising for a LT manga but is a shame since it usually does a huge disservice to both of their fantastic character arcs. in my experience, especially in the past few years, i see way more like. willful misinterpretation of arata's character than taichi's which is why i spend less time defending taichi—i do dearly love both characters and their relationship for all the messiness that both of them bring to it lmao.

i definitely agree that arata has his petty moments which i do love, because frankly he is so funny when he's mean kdfj;lahdf. it's so against his kindhearted nature (which isn't so different from taichi!) and causes him a lot of turmoil, which really adds greater complexity to his character, especially to his relationship with taichi. as an aside, i think an interesting contrast between them is imo taichi is much more consistently self-aware of his negative feelings toward arata than vice versa, which is why taichi spends so much time agonizing over it—as opposed to arata only realizing it in key moments, like yoshino and the challenger matches, and THEN beating himself up over it because it suddenly creeps into his overwhelming fond feelings about taichi as a friend (which clashes with his slow recognition of taichi as a rival, but that's another discussion).

with my prior post i was mostly trying to highlight that, while arata has moments of lashing out or being mean to taichi (+ my exploration of how a lot of those moments stem from trauma and his insecurities, like taichi—basically an argument that arata like everyone else is shaped by his experiences and has reasons that he's cold, unfriendly, mean), there are other moments where i genuinely don't think he has petty intentions. like, the "chihaya doesn't belong to anyone" moment? definitely petty. but when he tells taichi "i thought you already would be in class A by now" and then tells him to give chihaya his phone number? to me that scene genuinely reads as arata being super socially awkward and not realizing that he's hitting all of taichi's insecurities within the span of 30 seconds l;adkhf;alsdkhfh;a. and to me that's an interesting distinction and super compelling because of how it impacts taichi without necessarily being intentional, an example of how the true mutual affection between arata and taichi is constantly frayed by their individual baggage. and it's gonna come down to reader interpretation, but i do notice that 99% of the time arata's intentions are taken with the most negative possible reading possible, so it was my hope to add another reading of his actions that, as you said, is not assuming he's just actively evil lol. also, a lot of why i read those scenes as not always actively malicious is due to how warmly he does act toward taichi in surrounding scenes (the blushing, the smiling when he sees him, wanting to see taichi as much as chihaya, the awkward "you're supposed to high-five, right?" and other socially awkward behaviors etc etc).

tl;dr you're not wrong that they bring out the worst in each other, or rather i think they bring out a very real, raw version of the other and see each other for what they are—and being able to fully appreciate their relationship requires an ability to view both of their characters without idealization, both of them having flaws and moments where they act badly to each other. it's clear that despite all their issues and how they mutually embody each other's worst insecurities, they very deeply love and care about each other, even if that bond is complicated. love them forever

[fluxweeed]

yes I agree that you’re implicitly required to rec a fic you’re involved in which is why it HURTS WHEN PEOPLE DONT like oof. you said yes to work on it but then you didn’t like it that much hey. obviously I’d rather that than people rec something they don’t actually like, I’m not saying it should be disingenuous, it just hurts you know? ouch

nahhh i don't think ppl should feel obligated to do marketing for a fic they've already put time and energy into helping the writer with!

[indelicateink]

i am just so earnestly curious. i read the books a long time ago, i am struggling to put myself in the shoes of someone who doesn't know what's coming. the latest promo that has the sinister projection of L: does this come across as menacing to people who are book-innocent? do those audience members have anxiety about him showing up in paris?

i know he was fucking excoriated by a lot of viewers for season 1 and ep 5 especially (no matter one's experience with the canon), and a lot of people now despise the character.

but does like. anyone actually have concern abt the guy showing up and making trouble? it seems to be the reaction they want people to have, I'm curious if it's working?

[collectivecloseness]

I’m still not feeling 100% unfortunately, but my brain is absolutely swimming with the want to write, I just think full fledged fics are off the table for another day or two because wow I am not doing well

But I would really really love to hear your guys thoughts/hc’s on yandere!characters/polys and chat about them!

Please feel free to send in any of your thoughts on any character/poly/scenario with (eg, yandere Eddie, yan fruity four, yan steddie etc) and I will write and write about how brilliant and correct you are but also how that could all go down and what that could look like and potential worldbuilding and etc etc etc 👀

[candiid-caniine]

I second the last ask, I'm a switch and both sides are ones I always used to feel very self conscious about, especially the sub side and you've really made me feel less weird and uncomfortable so ty, Bug 🪲🐛! -jjba anon

im so glad my friend <3 im so proud of us. we r out here in 2024 being queer and kinky and pathetic and dominant, finding community and refusing to be caged (unless we want to be c; )

it's fucking hard to come to terms w being submissive sometimes. esp when it comes to the severe manner i have to protect myself - being militant abt boundary transgressions and blocking ppl, even tho my core is like "submit to the meanie" makes me feel all kinds of weird inside.

but good on us; 2024. we bark.