#i hope u don't think it's total crap

[evilkitten3]

#i think mdr also doesnt rlly care abt younger ppl's opinions sdffggfds#he's like. old man shakes his fist at a cloud#he is so OLD and i think he believes that its part of why he must be right#like ... he has all this experience. he has lived an extensive life#tried and failed to make 'teamwork' (cooperation) work#so for him it is. it seems naive probably of naruto to believe that this would work#(it is notable tho that he SEES that the shinobi villages are cooperating. he mentions this Twice actually the other time is#right after his edo tensei resurrection. its the very first thing he remarks upon being faced w the alliance#that theyre all wearing the same headbands but they seem to be coming from different villages#this kind of .. does blow his mind. but its too late for him to take on a new ideology Now ^_^#he has to go thru with it. he's so smart and so sexy after all <3 he has to be right. and they must be wrong#bc he has lived and seen that any alliance will just fall apart at the end and so thats why theyre 'pathetic' at the end of the day anyway)#it is very funny tho i think asfgdfdgd#bc obt is like out there screaming and arguing with everyone. and mdr is like ummm who the fuck cares. LMAO#lets beat the shit out of each other and whomstever wins. that one's the one that has rights. and IS right w their ideology#i also do think its notable that team 7's 'teamwork' doesnt actually manage to bring him down BUT#their teamwork does lead to the defeat of kaguya. so. i feel like at the end of the day#u can still say that the teamwork/cooperation ideology is the winner here#bc they get to have a future and konoha continues to exist. whereas mdr fucking explodes and then dies. lmao#so the narrative does. still prove him wrong albeit indirectly

1000% true he only cares about opinions of the youth (hehe) when said youth can shatter his ribcage. and even then he's still more interested in getting kicked again

alternatively i think he might find it somewhat amusing that the way to get everyone to cooperate turned out to be. having them all be really really really about-to-shit-themselves scared of him (obito but that's that same thing as far as he's concerned). moreover, if the only time they can work together is when they have a common opponent, then as soon as that opponent is defeated (entirely hypothetical ofc bc he's perfect and about to become the second sage and can't be stopped ever) then they'll just. go back to fighting each other. which just proves his original point (it in fact does not, but since he never tells anyone anything there's no one who can point out the itty bitty teeny weeny gaping massive gloryhole flaws in his logic such as that. while they can't prove that that's not true. he also can't prove that it is.)

your logic concerning the narrative is technically correct but unfortunately madara operates on his own crazy caveman logic, and while team seven can do. basically jackshit to stop him, as soon as kaguya takes over, they manage to beat her, which i think madara could easily interpret as black zetsu sacrificing madara to bring back someone weaker than him (did kaguya survive maito gai? no. did she survive a living full-power hashirama? no (neither did madara but pointing that out will just make him hard again). as far as he cares, all kaguya did was show up, steal his body via black zetsu hax, and then get pummeled by three teenagers, some corpses, and obito's ex. all of whom tried and failed miserably to stop madara).

now, technically, madara is crazy so his own potential thoughts on All That should be irrelevant.... if that had been the final battle. but the final fight of the series is naruto vs sasuke, and whoever is stronger is the most correctest, ultimately just. proving madara's power-over-all stance to be the correct one (i guess you could argue that naruto worked with kurama? but. idk kurama still doesn't really have the ability to just. leave. so i would at the very least have an asterisk there, personally)

wait so, as the holders if the most and 2nd most insane naruto characters, what did madara and obito have to say about team 7 dynamics ??

As a past memeber of team 7 Obito's opinion doesn't count cause he thinks kakashi's gremlins are the only normal people in the world. I don't remember Madara saying anything on the dynamics of team 7 but I'm not an authority on the matter so I turn it over to my resident Madara Scholars @evilkitten3 and @narutoenjoyer5000

[futurecorps3]

Hey ! I was wondering if you could do something with Remus and it’s a reader that’s not curvy at all like small everything. If not it’s totally ok ! P.S I really love your work ! Have a great day/night !

𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐮𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐧𝐨𝐧-𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐲!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Masterlist<3

MINORS STAY AWAY I'LL BLOCK EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU, THIS IS +18!!!

See also… All marauders versions in my marauders masterlist<3

Thank you so much nonnie! Make sure to take care of yourself<3 have a nice day/night too. Hope u like this:)

-Remus is not one to look at bodies and judge or make determinations based on that. He loves you and you love him, that's it.

-Gender and beauty standards are made up and fed to us to make us feel bad about ourselves, so fuck that shit!!!!!!

-MY BROTHER IN CHRIST THE WORSHIPPING.

-He doesn't even do it consciously, he loves your body that much is all

-"You're gorgeous, bug" and trails your body with his hands while looking at you lovingly ugh <3

-Adores you in his sweaters as well

-Girls look better in real tight sweaters no matter the size of their boobs!!!

-Sleeps on your chest under his sweaters, yes. Yes, for comfort.

-He loves how you look in his Bowie shirts because they're loose enough on the chest area but not enough that he can't see how your nipples perk all cute n shy<3333

-SUCKS YOUR BOOBS HELLO????????

-Saliva strings from his lips all the way to your tits, you swear you haven't seen a prettier thing in your time alive

-Loves kneading your ass when you cuddle or make out<3

-Nicknames related to beauty. It helps when you call him "pretty boy" or "handsome"

-So he figures they help you too when you struggle a bit with confidence!:)

-"Morning beautiful", "Need help pretty?", "Let me get that for you gorgeous." ALL IN THAT THICK WELSH ACCENT IM GOING TO FAINT.

-Ofc if it makes you feel patronized in any way, he'd stop, but if you like them boy oh boy

-He showers you in them.

-If someone from this trio knows how cruel people can be is him

-Won't stand up for anyone's shit if they comment something on how he "could do better" or sorts

-Will and has walked up to the person talking shit and confront them. "Seems like you have lots of shit to say, huh? Go on, m'here now"

-Makes them apologize to you directly, rather aggressively

-He thinks people who talk crap about other people's bodies are the absolute scum of this Earth, so you can imagine how he gets when it's his girl they're talking about.

-Remus knows how it feels to be ashamed of something that you can't change and how people make you believe there's inherently something wrong with you

-Both of you are so very supportive of each other in terms of body insecurity (in other aspects as well ofc)

-You help each other heal and understand that you've never seen someone as pretty as the other. You don't need to fit a preconceived idea of beauty. You're gorgeous.<3

[peachdues]

Hi Peach!

I wanted to reach out and ask you something (maybe a bit personal, but I thought maybe you'd understand? If you don't want to get into it that is 100% okay! I find comfort in your writing either way 🥰 I've really been enjoying each chapter of Compass and I enjoy the small snippets you share inbetween)

I've been going through a bit of a rough patch when it comes to my mental health and I feel ridiculous about it. There's so much going on in the world that makes me feel so silly about stressing about stupid things at work. How are you combining your daily job with writing / your hobbies?

I've been feeling too burnt out to think about hobbies or doing things after coming home. I don't even know what I'd want to do except lay down and scroll. And it annoys me because it's such a luxury problem to have. But I don't know how to get over it.

Can you offer advice? Is there something you do to balance your job and still have time (and energy) to write? And does what you hear/see on the news ever affect you in a way that your own problems seem silly?

I'm trying to look for a parttime job to see if maybe that will give me more time and energy for life outside of work, but I feel like I can't be genuine(ly enthusiastic) in job interviews. Not in this mental state.

Hoping you're having a good start to the new week!

A 🩷

Hello my darling anon!

First, I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to get to this. I wanted to make sure I replied once I had a chance to sit down and think of a coherent answer, but it took me longer to get to that space than I anticipated 😭

I’m so sorry you’ve had a hard time lately. Life is hard enough as it is, but you’re right — the state of the world right now just compounds all that existing stress and anxiety and it’s exhausting. Please don’t feel ridiculous about it — stress has such an impact on our bodies and minds. It’s normal to stress over both the day to day and the larger crap we’re having to deal with right now.

As for balancing hobbies with work and overall mental health — believe me when I say I’ve been there. A lot. It was worse a few years ago when I was in a job I truly hated (and that consumed 16 hours of my day, every day lmao), but I’ve gotten a better handle on it now. Though, the last two weeks at work have been absolutely n u t s so I’ve fallen behind on writing a bit.

I totally get the struggle of wanting to write, but being so tired/mentally drained to do so. I think it’s important that you let yourself just scroll on your phone sometimes — your body needs rest! Your big, beautiful brain can’t be on all the time, and that’s okay.

Something I’ve found that helps is to do just one thing. For writing, sometimes that means writing a single sentence and then closing out of the app. If I feel up to writing more — great! But if I don’t, at least I wrote something. It doesn’t even have to be anything great. Honestly, i tried writing a day or two ago and wrote two sentences that are bland and completely unexciting, but i felt better because i did something. And sometimes, that’s enough. But listen to your brain and body — if it’s tired, if it feels like your writing isn’t going the way you want it to or think it should, then rest. The spark will come back, but you have to let yourself recharge, first.

As for the news — absolutelyyyy it affects me and makes me feel bad for worrying over x thing. But that x thing is just as deserving of my worry and attention as anything else. We’re human. Mitigating our own circumstance because something else is going on in the world, in my opinion, is how we lose empathy for one another. If we constantly engage in this vicious cycle of trauma comparison, we forget how to be human and treat others as humans, too.

If a part time job seems like a good avenue for you — then go for it!! But also make sure you’re taking time for yourself, too. Take yourself out on a solo date (I’m partial to taking my kindle to Barnes and noble and sitting in the cafe and just being). I’ve found getting out in public while also letting myself recharge is a good reset for me when my energy/mood seems low.

The most important thing, though, is to find the balance that best works for you. I think it’s easy to look at one person’s method for coping and to try it for yourself, expecting the same results. Maybe it works, or maybe it doesn’t. But if it doesn’t, try something else until you find what feels right. It doesn’t have to be a big or significant thing. It’s whatever helps you reset and feel good.

I hope you’re taking care of yourself, my lovely beauty. And above all else, please know that if all you do is get out of bed, or get showered for the day, then that’s enough, too. You don’t have to be “on” all the time. Rest and be gentle with yourself 🤍

[youremyheaven]

girl your moon post was so accurate for me too! my father has rohini rising and is such a narcissist and a master at gaslighting. he resorted to manipulating ppl's perspective of me ig so they wouldn't believe me when i started calling him out after a liiiifetime of his crap. he is extremely two faced and a lot of ppl find him really sketchy, but those he manages to fool he fools really well. the only positives of this is that at least i can see these patterns in people easily. frankly, confronting a liar is so taxing bc even if you do manage to outsmart them they'll just make some excuse. like girl. i also know this hasta moon girl that is a pathological liar and every time i see her i just can't take anything she says seriously bc i just always feel like she's lying out of her ass ab the most menial stuff. her family has had issues w her bc she skipped school for months and no one knew ab it bc she would tell such bold lies like, "call my teacher. here, have the phone so you can talk to her ab my grades" and everyone was like, ig she's doing well in school otherwise she wouldn't offer to call? i genuinely worry thinking ab what if i have a kid and they have a moon nakshatra and express it negatively like this omg i'll go crazy. anyways thank you for your post it was so interesting to see such thoroughly explained examples 🤍 it reminded me of ariana grande as well who just seems so shamelessly manipulative to me too. like when she's like "for total transparency i'll say that..." i'm immediately like ok. so you're lying 😂

im glad 😭😭😭that my Moon post resonated with so many of you, it means so much to me

Im so sorry about your father. I agree with what you said about confronting liars, I confronted someone about something deeply hurtful that they said to me and they literally said "i don't remember" 😭😭 idk how these people sleep at night bro like do they not have a conscience??

I'm happy every time some shady person is exposed in the media, including Ariana who I've found sus for yearsss ,, it's so hard to be an intuitive bc u can't even explain why u feel the way u do so no one believes you when u say that somebody is not what they seem on the outside, u get torn apart for speaking the truth but sooner or later the truth will be seen and will be heard and I truly believe that.

I hope you remain protected from abuse of all kinds in the future and always surrounded by kindness and support. 💛💛

GIRLIEEE what u said about kids is sooo 😭😭I do think about that from time to time but i believe that kids are a manifestation of our karma so the more we focus on bettering ourselves and thereby bettering our actions, we can design our lives to be drama free. What kind of children we have depends on what kind of parents we're capable of being (and you are completely in control of how you behave/treat others) so don't feel too powerless about ur future kids!!! Focus on yourself and your healing and the rest will flow💛💛💛 also if you believe in manifestation 👀just believe that you'll manifest healthy and wonderful children

This blog is a hobby of mine but what makes all my research and writing meaningful is the fact that not only do I get to learn more about astrology, I get to reach people who perhaps might benefit from the things I share. I love to hear about your guys experiences related to the things I post bc sometimes I genuinely wonder like is anyone even reading my 5k words slander on a nakshatra lmfao

Thank you so much for taking the time to tell me about your experiences, I appreciate it so much 💛and i believe many others will also feel seen

[silviakundera]

Empresses in the Palace ep 16

"And now she dares to take away my Persian Ink!" Hard agree, my darling Hua Fei. Screwing your man is one thing, but fucking with your brows is another!! ✊

but babe, why u want to live with a baby??

Lmao look I know its A BABY but it's a fictional one and I'm amused that her palace is so crap at taking care of it. My career girl is just NOT the maternal type. Drugs the kid with crushed sleeping pills; "It works just fine on me." lmaoooooo

ffffuvk she's looking ragged in front of the emperor GURL let that baby go. Neither of you are having a good time.

Zhen Huan, I know the emperor is your dad's age but this fickle dude that might kill you or your besties someday is not the DILF protector you need, in metaphorical OR literal thunderstorms.

Empress savoring the new girl being humiliated by the new new girl 💅

While Zhen Huan plans for the long game by serving up Ling Rong. She's in it to win it now. Definitely feeling disconcerted about matchmaking her friend with her husband but willing to do it so they have a stronger backing in the palace. The first sign for me tbh that she could be empress material. And tbh for once the Empress isn't laying it on thick. LR truly has a celestial voice. Consort Yu supposedly was admired for her pipes but she has nothing on LR. The way she looks back. Yaaaasss always leave them wanting more.

That half-sister is gonna become a real problem.

me trying to picture how u draw eyebrows "like distant mountains"

ep 17

Prince Guo is not hot but not grandpa. He's also not the source of humiliation & suffering for a busload of ladies. I'm sold! yeah, I ship it. Please bang in despair at your wasted lives at least once, thx.

Hua Fei taking a big swing to frame up Zhen Huan by poisoning the favored baby. But it's not actually that risky, because her brother is impeccable armor.

Duan Fei is the real MVP. Everyone knows she's lying but the emperor clearly respects her and isn't willing to embarass her. No more than he's willing to severely punish my gf Hua.

Hope Duan gets her revenge.

Ep 18

So the emperor totally knows Hua Fei posioned the kid that he actually likes, but General Nian's skills trump all.

I'm honestly not sure if Zhen Huan should be trying to push the emperor to not reward Hua Fei. He's gonna do what he thinks he needs to.

Half-sister Huanbi is getting on my NERVES. And finally ZH's, thank god.

Prince Guo is so chill. He just strolled by like, hey crying servant, what's up? oh, somebody dissed your look? you're doing amazing sweetie, don't worry be happy. (Exit stage left.)

I think I love him.

Our protagonist with a BIG WIN. (crowd sounds) 👏 👏 proved half-sister is a traitor and her nemesis finally annoyed the emperor enough that she'll miss a promotion.

Girl, u know I love u. You're the only one for me. But Hua Fei, darling, you really need to properly space out your scheming. It's too much. The man needs some time, space, and calm to properly ponder how much he loves & appreciates your brother.

Ep 19

This episode should be subtitled "The Tale of Two Loves' or '2 Ships For The Price of One'.

First she risks it all to sneak in to hold hands longingly and shed tender tears with her Mei Zihuang. Then romantic coincidental rescue by Prince Guo and a late night boat ride with poetry & literature musings.

And I'm winning because I ship both of them.

Not sure how I feel about Half-Sister Intervention. Huanbi's situation is fucked and in a different drama she'd be the revenge-seeking protagonist. But she's also dumb as hell to want to join the harem and give up the chance to escape to a normal life. She's seen what a hell this place is. Ultimately, she has reason to resent ZH and their family. And she has a dangerous secret. What if she flips again? Just get rid of her ASAP. It's life & death struggles over here, no space for second chances.

[esta-elavaris]

Just wondering if you’d be able to share some tips on writing? Your fics are legitimately some of my all time faves, and when I was a teen a dabbled in fanfic writing but I’ve never been a strong writer if I’m being honest. But I have a fic idea that I really wanna try and write since I can’t find anything else with this specific trope 😅 would be amazing if you could give some advice on how to improve!

Thank you so much!! 💜 A lot of this is just off the top of my head but I hope some of it is useful -- good luck with your fic!

Okay so first of all one of my favourite pieces of advice is something you're literally already following by taking on an idea without being totally sure how to go about it. That's when a project always ends up being a good one, and that's what makes you improve ten times faster than like, "easy" ideas that don't have any intimidation factor to them. I'm always happiest with the fics I didn't know I'd be able to pull off in the beginning, and my crap ones are always the ones where I go in confident.

Read a lot and read broadly - books, not just fanfic. You'll end up reading a lot of stuff you didn't like, but you'll know WHY you didn't like it and it'll inform the kind of decisions you make with your own writing. And, better than that, you'll also find a lot of stuff that you didn't expect to like but actually did. Plus it opens up so many avenues for ideas to flow in from unexpected sources, even from stuff like autobiographies. And like, I think a lot of people underestimate that kind of thing because they'd go "well I'm writing romantasy, why would I need to read horror books?" but then they have no idea how to handle tense, spooky, or even angsty scenes when they do crop up - and those little moments of genre-hopping make a story feel real, anyway, because it's more true to life. Real life isn't permanently fluffy, or comedic, or even depressing all of the time without any let up, and like? That's why the best pieces of media are so good? LOTR has strong elements of fantasy (duh) but also comedy, romance, action, drama, and even bits of horror all at once and that's why it's so vivid because so does life (although in a far less dramatic way, for me at least 💀 idk what other folk get up to).

If you read consciously (critically?), too, you can go and seek out how your favourite writers handle things like exposition, or the bits that serve just to get the characters from point A to point B, or even more minor details like dialogue tags. I find that really helpful because it reminds you that not every sentence has to be like? Groundbreaking or even particularly good? "She walked over to the chair and sat down" is fine, it's golden, it serves a purpose, but when you get too in your head about wanting something to be great, it's easy to forget that and get too hung up on little throwaway lines.

Also people are gonna be sick of me saying this but the best thing I've ever done for my writing is writing every day, as a rule. If I could only ever give one piece of writing advice ever again, it'd be that. I do think folk lean too much towards the "any time the vibe is slightly off don't write a word! self care!!!" thing and uhhh not writing every single time you can find a minor excuse not to is going to be way worse for you than forcing a page down when you don't particularly want to and the real self care is the fic we forced ourselves to write along the way. I started Little By Little juuuuust before I started daily writing, I think, and comparing that to stuff I was even writing just one year later shows how quickly it forced me to improve. It's like a muscle, the more you work it, the stronger it gets - and if you show up every day, the ideas will too.

I know there's not much like? Technical advice here but honestly I don't have any of that to give? I don't approach chapters like "ah, yes, this one shall begin with dialogue because that provides an element of (literary term that I'm too tired to use as an example) which sets things up nicely for (other literary term I don't have enough brain cells to conjure)", I'm not that technical or that smart about it, if I do try to approach things that way it doesn't feel organic, I'm just out here vibing and feeling my way through it. But like I said, if you read enough and write enough, you get used to that and your gut will tell you which way to take things.

[siunytoons]

I SAW SOMEBODY DO THIS

so its like how ppl think they'd b aligned w fears as an avatar? girl idk I just wanna do it cuz boredemmm

Eye: ermm I dunno. I'm a little slow w observing stuff sometimes and I don't rlly care when people watch me. lwk indifferent to this one cuz I'm not that much of a curious person. so not that compatible I don't think! whoopsie daisies

spiral: hmmm. I'm like super sane. sometimes I'm disorganized sometimes I'm not, but that's not super relevant. I'm not afraid I'm going like, cray or anything. I'm just kinda there tbh. prolly not aligned!

The flesh: hrmm. maybe. like, I don't hate how I look, personally I think I'm pretty, but sometimes I wanna just reshape myself. but like, not obsessively. so also prolly not aligned

the lonely: honestly? yeah tbh. I've got friends and crap but I tend to be isolating myself. not like, on purpose or anything, but it just kinda happens. I gotta fight to actually be noticed occasionally and it TOTALLY sucks. maybe aligned!

the slaughter: nope. I'm the least violent person I know

hunt: also no. super spooked by being chased and chasing people. it makes me nervous and I don't think I'd be aligned well.

the stranger: hey queens! also not aligned. wow, I am on a nonaligned combo here. call me the average joe cuz I am powering through this! I never ever really felt like I wasn't quite human or a stranger to anyone. I'm like, friendly and nice and not super into blending into a crowd too much

web: err, no. maybe when I was like younger cuz like, I'd cry to get out of trouble. but what kid didn't do that. Im a control freak sometimes, but that was all kinda in the past tbh. I'm a way better person now and honestly Im proud. non aligned! (I hope)

dark: nope. sunlight's just better. sorry queens

end: girl if ur not afraid of dying I'm afraid of u sorry! (jk). Srsly though. DEF not aligned

desolation; NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. whoever finds it fun to destroy things that make others happy? U make me SICK. def not aligned. love siun!

corupptionnnn: wow I just realized I snatched the "the" outta the fears after a bit. whoops! anyway, Im kinda indifferent to sickness and bugs. like, bees are my OPP. but I know they're natural and I share the world with them so like, why let it control me y'know? as for diseases, its whatever. I mean, it totally sucks ot get them, but also natural. non aligned!

buried: EW. DISGUSTING. NO. I absolutely HATE confined spaces. If I was ever an avatar of this I would DIE.

the vast: actually, maybe. this is the one I kinda lean towards mostly cuz like I'm always kinda head in the clouds lost in the sauce and all that jazz. I need an intervention for my constant spacing out. so like, probably my top one as of now. Plys, oceans and skies are kinda cool tbh. ESPECIALLY THE OCEAN. a little scary, but the beach oh em geeee. ily ocean <3

the extinction: who wants this. like genuinely. everyone hates this fear. KILL THIS FEAR. human life is NOT being eradicated. I love being alive

YURRT FINISHED!!!! What I've concluded is that I am a very normal person. thank you for listening to my tedtalk

[anxiety-banana]

20 questions for fic writers

y'all i'm so happy i haven't done one of these in forever :')

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

93, but that doesn't count my 49 anon works lol

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

252,902, and i'm still disappointed by that number, because that means i could have written multiple novels by now lol

3. What fandoms do you write for?

oof uh lets start the list: star wars and marvel (and like three of its subcategories lol) are the current ones, but including past ones: white collar, psych, warehouse 13, almost paradise, and leverage!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

so apparently most of my best fics are anon,,, i guess stick around for the official release of those?? but yeah the first three are anon

when it matters (white collar)

inevitability is a stupid, stupid, thing (penny parker fic!)

if you're so smart tell me why are you still so afraid (this is my one and only suits fic, i also hate it, but feel free to check it out lol there's not enough content in the fandom to keep it anon)

and home isn't quite the same, but it's far from unachievable

big brothers make it okay

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

uh YEAH unless you're writing in a language google translate doesn't understand or you made me so mad i'm avoiding giving my phone a smackdown, i'm replying to your comment

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

browski my fics are either fix its or "hey you know what would be fun? killing plo koon" so uh i did some digging and i think it might be call me what i am, call me a monster. that one was,,, a lot lol i have no idea where my headspace was when i wrote that. a lot of my angsty fics end somewhat hopeful but this one legit is angst all the way through

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

ooh!! lose ourselves in the moment is one of the fluffiest endings i can think of. i write quite a bit of fluff, but my main fandom also occurs during a war so it's a delicate balance lol

8. Do you get hate on fics?

kind of?? i've never had someone comment "u suck" on a fic, but i've had a LOT of passive aggressive stuff telling me i'm writing a character wrong, or that I write a fact wrong (i usually get these when i actually wrote something into a fictional universe with fictional, non canonical facts lol so i do get a little pleasure responding to those kind)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

lol nope. i have an appreciation for certain kinds of smut in writing, when they're tasteful, but even then i typically don't read far into it before wimping out

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i haven't, but i've written references to them into fics for people to find haha

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

yes, but basically my entire wattpad fic era was stolen on one of those weird bootleg fic websites?? honestly it was all crap they can have it

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no, but i'm hoping to translate all my fics into legible english prose one of these days. when will this clown figure out how to write is my question

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i had one (1) fic in the works between @ashgryff and @ljbrary once like two years ago that never even got close to completion, i'm not even sure what happened to that thing?? but i remember panicking because i was terrified of messing up something and we were all kind of new friends at the time so it was mortifying ahaha

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

team "i crave familial affection" i literally took to scrolling my bookmarks to find one i love :') i might have to go with kanan/hera?? i just never get tired of them they're some of my favorite characters as it is

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

mmm so I Know, I'm Sorry (But You Can Do Better) is technically an ongoing fic, it's just a one-shot sort of thing that I'd really like to either give a full plot or just continue indefinitely but at this rate i have no idea if it'll even get another chapter

16. What are your writing strengths?

when i get into it, i pride myself on inner emotional prose, also people have complimented me on my dialogue before so i guess dialogue

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

plotting, pieces longer than 10k, sticking through rough patches to finish a draft

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

personally i only trust myself to do it in a tiny bit of french, but if it's done correctly i think it can be really cool

19. First fandom you wrote for?

sooo technically that would not be star wars even tho that's the first of mine on the internet, it would be Marvel, in which I wrote three paragraphs of a random movie ten years in the future after Endgame came out. it sucked, but look what it started i guess??

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

we've already established that i have a total 142 fics on ao3 so this is a struggle uhhh maybe Eternal, i was really proud of it when i posted it, also you didn't put those bones in the ground, because it took me a really long time to post after i finished it. i find most of the fics i hesitate to post are my favorites, because i don't want them to be harshly judged haha

that was long, thank you for sticking around!!

no pressure tags! answer any or none of these questions haha

lilly and ash who i already tagged and feel bad for double tagging, @ahsokryze @dashedwithromance @armchairaloof @twentyfunnybunnies and all who wish to join! i see this a lot but honestly if you want to join this, please take this as your permission! i will literally tag you if you ask me to so you feel better about participating

[queenofbaws]

these weeks just...just keep comin, huh??? like they don't stop or something ;P

another quick update from queenie hq: things are going to c o n t i n u e to be sporadic and strange on my end for the next couple weeks. i'm going to be hosting family, again, until roughly the end of the month, so alas, i'm not anticipating a ton of writing time. or relaxing time. or time where i'm not gritting my jaw and screaming internally. SUCH IS LIFE!

however, i'm totally psyched to report i fiiinally got to cross one long-running wip off my list (the tale(s) of the champion), and oooh the feeling of seeing a complete checkmark for that baby over on ao3 is fueling the fire for me to wrap some others up too ;P my plan for the time being is still to try and get out a chapter or two of like wringing blood in the near future, but i'm also going to be working on finally wrapping of mummy men & bathtub soup so i can open the door for other CREEPs projects. we shall see.

as always, i've thrown some snippets under the cut - strictly supermassive projects this time, hehe - and i hope you're all doing well <3

of mummy men & bathtub soup

“Uh huh. Look. I’m sure you guys have something hilarious planned for me tonight. Another A+ jumpscare courtesy of Washington Pictures, Inc. And I’m also sure that the more of this crap you get me to gobble up, the antsier all your cloak and daggers bullshit makes me, the funnier it’ll be when I fall into a swoon or whatever, but it’s not happening. Am I the brightest bulb in the lamp? No! I’m not! Am I the sort of moron who gets bit by a dog and tries to pet it a second time? Also no!”

Sam had barely started shaking her head when Fliss joined them, an unspoken question in her eyes. She latched onto her instead. “People keep talking about last night. I've heard someone mention weird stuff happening on at least three separate occasions already, so if anyone could give me just a little context, that would be so great.”

“Weird is…one way to put it,” Fliss said. “It’s not the word I would’ve picked. Freakish, maybe. Terrifying, definitely. It must’ve taken you guys forever to set that up! It was—”

“Oh no,” she breathed, dropping her head into her hands. Conrad almost expected her to sink into a nearby chair or go full-on crisscross-applesauce on the floor, so intense was her reaction. She didn’t: If anything, she set her shoulders and squared herself off, assuming the air of a battle-hardened soldier. “Okay. Okay. Okay. Listen to me. I know you think this is about you because you think everything’s about you, but I am telling you, it's not."

upcoming CREEPs project with a title that 100% spoils ALL the surprise of it and thus will not yet be included asdlkfjalskjfklsjdf

“Any word from our housetergeist?”

“Uh, not unless they suddenly share yours and Josh’s love of absolutely inscrutable inside jokes,” Ashley called back, equal measures relieved and disappointed to see the fridge decorated with the same message the guys had put up before their trip: DO THE BARTMAN. Rolling her eyes, she pulled the door open and rummaged around, making a happy little sound when she spotted what she’d wanted. “Hey,” she called again, “are you gonna be upset with me if I drink the last cream soda?”

“Josh might be!”

“I wasn’t asking about Josh, you dip! I was asking about you!”

“Oh. Then, yeah, heartbroken. I-I-I don’t know how I’ll survive! I might have to reassess this whole relationship thing. Honestly, I can’t believe you’d do something as heinous as drink the last cream soda! I thought I meant something to you!”

She grabbed the can and shut the door, groaning, “Ha ha,” before stopping cold.

The fridge magnets had moved.

a fic that started as a joke post but now has almost 40k words written for it

“Hey,” he said, giving the grate a hard shake. They all winced, pulling even farther away until they pretty much fell on top of each other. “Chill. They’re fuckin’ dead. Shit’s fine. Don’t be weird about it.”

Good deed done, he turned back around to rejoin the guys, and—fuck.

Right away, Bobby knew he didn’t like the way Chris was sizing them up. He didn’t know why he didn’t like it, he just knew it spelled trouble, one way or another.

Jack seemed to agree with him. “No,” he said long before Chris even opened his mouth. “Whatever it is you’re brewing in that snowglobe you call a skull, quit while you’re ahead. Or while you still have a head.”

“Your plan didn’t work.” For someone who usually stayed at base during their hunts on account of ‘not wanting to die the world’s stupidest death,’ Chris sure was sticking his finger awfully close to Jack’s face. That was biting range. And Jack could move quick when he wanted to. “Your plan worked even less,” he continued, moving that finger to Travis’s face instead, and Jesus Christ, that was worse!

Travis didn’t answer him. Not at first. He sucked his teeth, though. Stared at Chris’s finger. Probably thought about breaking it off if he didn’t get it out of his face. “If you don’t get that outta my face, I will break it off, so help me God.”

Yeah. Checked out.

[anawrites3]

Ana love, idk if u keep up with comics but in the new Nightwing run we might be getting a sidekick for nightwing and idk how I feel about it btw :(

Im torn bc like, I have ALWAYS wanted Damian Wayne to be his “Robin” and for them to do a Robin Returns arc but like Robin returns to Dick, not not Batman. Like Robin finally returns to Dick Grayson but in the form of his own sidekick, Damian Wayne. It’s wishful thinking, I know, bc like, no one can have a Robin unless they’re Batman. But idk, the one run where Dick was Batman and Damian was his Robin, his almost son. It holds soooo much space in my heart and I want DC writers to return them to their fatherly-son roots.

On the other hand, I really think it goes against Dick’s character to take an orphan boy (as the new chapters have depicted a boy who had seen his dad murder by (possibly) Heartless) and do the same thing Bruce did to him (aka child soldier) when he’s seen the path himself and his friends have gone down due to following in their parental figure’s footsteps.

Like, I can see Dick picking up a sidekick that has already been brought into the vigilante world by someone else (YK LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE) bc he would take it as his responsibility to look after them and make sure they’re still somewhat protected and still have their childhood and innocence even tho they’re been forced into this line of work.

But I really really really can’t see THE Dick Grayson introduce an innocent kid into the hero life.

He’s fr recognised as the hero Batman should have been. So I think it goes against his character to follow in Bruce’s footsteps like this…

Fr when I catch you Tom Taylor - when I catch you 🤨

It's the first time I'm hearing about it actually but I feel you so much, anon!

I really want Damian to be Dick's Robin. I want him to become Nightwing in the future. Dick had a greater impact on Damian - because Bruce wasn't there but also because Bruce is kinda shit at dealing with people, while Dick is... well, Dick haha And yeah, Robin was always Batman's partner but maybe it should change now (soon?)

And I too don't think Dick would ever get the child he adopts into the vigiliante business. Or any child to be honest. He wouldn't want it - he knows firsthand how it is to be the child soldier, all the danger that comes out of it and I know that he would do everything in his might to stop the kiddo from following in his path. Unless the writers do something smart for once and go with the whole "I can't stop him so at least I'll keep an eye on him and protect him while he punches bad people" - the same way it was with Bruce and Dick at first but still... I don't really like it. It could be fun if Dick just adopted the kid without all that sidekick crap and writers would focus on more family shenanigans, maybe with Damian being the jealous little brother/son - but I bet DC would think it's too boring 🙄

And yeah, you're totally right about Dick taking under his wings a kid who already is a vigilante and how he would never bring a new kiddo into the vigilante world. It would go against his character so much but... not like writers really care about that stuff anymore.

I think there would be a way to write that story pretty well and not fuck up Dick's character entirely though the sheer idea puts a sour taste in my mouth. But if you're saying it's going to be Tom Taylor's run... well, I don't have a lot of hope 😫

We just have to wait and see, I guess 😔 And hope for the best

[pangzi]

sorry you're having a bad day i hope things get better for you soon !! <3 currently poking my braincells with a stick to think of some pangzi headcanons for u so far ive got pangzi keeps a notebook with a list of the foods that xiaoge seems to like the most (because he wont say it out loud) and leaves lil notes about changing the recipes and when xiaoge eats more second im thinkin about iron triangle sharing clothes because wu xie and xiao ge both like sleeping in pangzi's shirts, they have an aesthetic to maintain in public but they love that the shirts are soft and warm and smell like pangzi (they also like taking all of his shirts to leave him either shirtless or in one of their shirts which is tighter and shows some tummy)

finally my favourite pangzi moment is when wu xie jumps over a table and he reaalllly slowly rolls over the table too but he just pauses for a moment on his back sort of like a ladybird with his legs up and then says 'what youve never seen someone so agile' because i had to rewatch that like twenty times when i first saw it

thank you 💗💗 please don't poke your brain too hard, if you poke holes in it the hcs might fall out and you'll lose them!!

feeding xiaoge proper meals is very important! he's got to make sure he's gained a few pounds before he leaves on another job, he shouldn't be able to survive on protein bars and whatever crap they usually eat on tomb raids. he has no choice to keep notes of what makes xiaoge stuff his face like a little chipmunk and ask for seconds and what makes him scrunch up his face in disgust (this is of course barely an expression but pangzi catches it always) it also means a lot to xiaoge of course that pangzi takes it so seriously 😔 who loves like pangzi does, honestly... 😭

also totally yes to them stealing pangzi's clothes!!!!! they're big and warm and soft and smell like him yes yes!! also ggnngnf to pangzi wearing their stuff... yeah bet they're as normal about that as i would be (which is Extremely NormalTM)

The table moment is so incredible. I wonder if there's anyone in existence who can see that and not instantly fall deeply in love with Pangzi. He's the best character ever uff... I love him.

Thank you so much for these, they made me smile. It means a lot 💗

[marcelinesghost13]

Hi Blog,

So I had another argument with my spouse. This is the part that I don't get.... Like for a couple days she's super nice and very loving and caring and then all of a sudden it's just boom you can go fuck yourself. I get the whole bipolar thing but what the fuck. I'm so tired of this up and down with her. Then she wants me to come back home but why? For I can be belittled and gaslighted and treated like crap again... No thank you... And when I tell her these things she tells me that's a lie that she doesn't do that. Which is complete total fucking bullshit because she's been doing it for fucking years.

So I did some running around because I've been up since like 5:30 in the morning because something happened at the gas station up the road woke my ass up. It is about 1300 (1:00 pm) hours and I got a text from my spouse. And I happen to be getting something to eat so I asked her if she was hungry even though the night before she started a fight with me I thought I'd be the decent human being. So I got her a Laguna Burger and took it up to the house. Everything was okay we were getting along... And then once again fucking boom.... She started fighting and arguing with me and asked me why I won't come the fuck home. But she just kept on talking and arguing and I didn't get a fucking word in. Finally I did and she got pissed off on what I had to say. So she stormed off to her bedroom slamming the door and locking it like she always does. I figured fuck it I'm going to grab my cat and a litter box and take him home with me. She heard me doing this and that pissed her off some more. Then I try to say something because she kept on letting me know that I was acting like a child. And she got pissed again and walked away. I saw that as my opportunity to leave which I did. And then after I left she started blowing up my phone I was driving home... This is that conversation that took place on my phone...

Wife

So you walked away again, at sone point i need to know why I am going through all this dor someone who is Never comming back

I dont need a helper your my husband

You married me then just walked out

So is never comming home true?

This is an obvious game if you want me counseling and wont come home or be a part of my life

Your always somewhere else with someone else , hope u are happy with your choices, you destroyed our life, because you could never even try to be happy here, i can see iysan excise, just yell at me to fuck off to be in communication with your friends, hope they make you happy

this will never be resolved, because u cant be bothered

Me

No this won't be resolved because you don't care to listen to what I have to say.

wife

And u dont hear me and...

me

For years you have used me as a punching bag every time you get angry upset or whatever it is you let me know how much of a piece of shit human being I am and how I'm doing everything absolutely fucking wrong. And then there's the constant breaking my phone's breaking my stuff constantly hitting me all the time I'm not doing that anymore and yet you don't see that part of the relationship

Oh I'm hearing you loud and clear

And you keep on thinking those ideas that you have in your head that I'm hanging out with my friends and then I'm fucking someone behind your back like I always am because I'm cheating bastard like that or at least that's what you let me know

wife

Because all i get is vacant stares

Because u were never there

And all those friends i didnt know, but you sure did

me

I've always been here I've always been there you're the one that has decided that I haven't inside your mind's mind you have come to that conclusion

wife

Really?

My memories are wrong again lol

me

I've said that from the beginning your perspective of his marriage and my perspective of this marriage are completely totally different

wife

Of course they are when you try and gaslight

me

I don't think mean you will ever see eye to eye

You're the one that gaslights

wife

Sure i with that

Sure, anyway Go with that

me

And this is all we do is fight back and forth I'm tired of doing this

wife

All this...for what?

So you can leave, and be in dependant on your own.

Because life is too hard for you to be a part of

So you left to escape problems you refuse to acknowledge

me

Whatever... I'll go off and be the little girl that acts like a teenage brat that's what you said right

wife

Midlife crisis

me

I'm done talking

wife

Lol ok

That was so useless to talk to you again

me

ditto

Wife

Do what you have too

Ignore me, your lifei s so much better you said without me anyway, because working doing SHIT for me and your dad, didnt make happy, so keep doing whayever it is over there to be a happy girl.

There you go that's a normal argument between me and my spouse.. it's really fucking stupid and childish. She doesn't listen to a fucking thing that I have to tell her. She doesn't want to hear anything. She's beyond angry. And everything that she's texting is just out of anger and hatred. But what should I expect her favorite fucking character in cinema is Darth Vader God damn fucking Anakin Skywalker. And she always likes the sith with their anger and their hatred and all that other fucking bullshit that Seth do but you know what else see if they're narcissistic is fuck. And I'm done being with a fucking sith.

101220241705

[cyn-00]

so...

U guys probably don't know this cause...well, cause I never said it, but I'm actually more of a painter/sketcher/illustrator than a "writer", cause I went to art school so that's like my true "talent", the one that defines me when I get asked "what are u good at" (u know what I mean?) so yeah I was doing some university drawings and...well...this happened

[flustersluts]

my ex (aromantic and pan) and i (lesbian) are still friends and she's coming over to my house on friday because i broke down to her last night and told her about how stressed i was. she said that she's coming over, we're gonna watch a movie, cuddle, and she's gonna play with my hair. problem is, if we're cuddling and she's playing with my hair, i'd feel bad about falling asleep in her lap, and i think i would want to kiss her (but i don't know if she'd be okay with that.

what should i do? should i call it off? should i just tell her how i feel? please help

hey i just wanna say 1st of all that i don't know this situation and u shouldn't trust my judgement over your own!! in general i'm a p big advocate of communication in situations like this but that definitely doesn't apply to all situations, and @ the end of the day u have to go with what you think is gna cause u the least anxiety?? these situations are rlly tricky and i feel for u anon but i don't want to give specific advice bc im not there in the situation so i most likely am missing a lot of nuance !

[idkanametoputhere]

Heyooo it's me again 👉👈

How are you today ? I hope you're having a good day !

There's a new idea that popped up and it is

" Yuu ends up sick and can't attend to lessons. How do they take care of them? Featuring Vil , Azul, Jamil ( and anyone else you want to include^^)

Sincerely your fan !

heyy :) I'm pretty good, pretty good, how are u? thank u for the request! I'm sorry that it took me so long to write it, school and after-school lessons have been kicking my ass lately, buuut I hope u enjoy:)

Vil, Azul, Jamil × sick!gn!reader (separately)

masterlist&lt;3

Vil Schoenheit

So it's your normal day, right? Rook is being borderline creepy, Ace and Deuce are getting in trouble, Jamil is following Kalim around, you are not in class, Epel has already had his scolding for the day

wait wait, hold up, you are not in class?

ngl I think that at first he didn't care THAT much, like okay maybe u had extra work to do, maybe you slept in (which actually would earn you a scolding)

but when he hears from your friends that you are sick? he's very much worried

he makes some time in his oh so busy schedule to visit you

when he comes to visit I don't he'd get TOO close to you

like he brings u water, cuts up some fruit for you so you can get your vitamins maybe makes you some tea and he gives it to you while you are in bed but he won't hug you or like sit next to you for too long

oh! and he definetky acts like he wasn't worried and like he "just had some extra time"

as if he didn't spend almost an hour figuring out what he should and shouldn't get out of his schedule in order to visit

I think he'd justvsit in a chair next to your bed and talk to you about his day

unless you have a headache, then I think he'd do some of his work but like still in a chair near your bed

overall pretty good, pretty great, he has the Mid seal of Approval™️

Azul Ashengrotto

mans is a busy guy, VERY busy guy

he almost doesn't realise you were not at school, until floyd comes in complaining during lunchtime cause "shrimpy is sick" and "he's bored without shrimpy"

after school he doesn't go directly to the monstro lounge and instead visits you

I feel like merfolks' and humans' bodies would react differently to sickness

so he KINDA knows what to do (having also read a lot of books and knows some stuff) but he doesn't KNOW KNOW what to do

he's a bit awkward but he definetly tries to keep on that "cool fish mafia boss, gang leader of the fish" facade on

lowkey fails but don't tell him that

he doesn't stay too long as he has work to do, unless you tell him to, then he's not moving

he'd leave and then visit again, maybe even bring you some painkillers to help

he definetly makes jade check up on you if he's too busy

somehow makes a potion in alchemy that makes you feel better quicker?? mans just invented new medicine??

but it tastes like total crap tbh

overall also good, also has the Mid seal of approval™️

Jamil Viper

he'd notice relatively quickly that you're gone and would discreetly ask about it

once he finds out he's worried but he can't just leave kalim alone

but when he cooks lunch for kalim he makes you soup<3

he then gives you said soup during lunchtime and he spends as much of his lunchtime as he can with you

knows what medicine, foods andstuff in general you need and he gives it to you

when it's club time and he has time away from kalim he comes to visit

WHO NEEDS BASKETBALL AMIRIGHT??

out of the three, he's the one that would be more caring, not cause the other two aren't, just cause he knows what he's doing

he too sits down and rants about his day, but unlike the other two he sits on the bed next to you

he does not let you touch your phone, if you're bored then you better sleep cause he's not giving you that phone till you feel better

kalim comes to visit at some point, followed by a grumpy jamil

overall, he gets the Mid award™️ for who to call when you're sick

AHHHHH AGAUN, IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG AAND IM SORRY ITS BAD BUT I STILL HOPE U LIKED IT

[takamishinko]

footprints and doubts

this is the longest piece we’ve written so far and it drained the living crap out of us :,D but hope u guys enjoy !

pronouns: gender neutral 

warnings: nothing really other than jealousy, angst, and crying, self thought cheating

a/n: r/n is region name btw

________________________________________________________________

honestly you found it hard to believe that little ol’ you from r/n could befriend let alone become someone important to ajax. the great tartaglia, 11th of the fatui harbingers, his name itself could strike fear into anyone. yet here you were, standing next to him with your hands intertwined with his at the lantern rite festival. you would give the world to him if you could, you loved him so much. he was so different from your last significant other who had been unfaithful towards you. 

‘you’re just too boring.’ they had told you apathetically. you frown thinking about it.

you felt ajax gave your hand a small tug, "hey y/n why don't we go over there? looks like chef mao is cooking up something good." he spoke with a cheery grin on his face.

you snap back into reality as you felt his hand pull you out of your thoughts. you gave him a terse nod and the two of you made your way to wanmin restaurant.

after waiting a while in line, the two of you were next. chef mao looked up and practically shat himself at the sight of the male next to you. 

“hello y/n! i hope you’ve been enjoying the festival, " chef mao spoke nervously, his eyes gliding to the male next to you, “y...you too sir childe.” he sputtered out. right, ajax was the one who tried to destroy liyue not too long ago after all. you shook your head, right now you were with ajax, not childe.

"woah woah woah. calm down chef, you know that’s history now. besides, i’m just here to enjoy the festival with y/n." ajax assured, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head.

you gave the chef a slight smile and spoke,"don’t worry chef. i’m sure he doesn’t have plans other than being with me tonight." you teased. 

the chef sighed in poorly concealed relief and returned to his usual self as he took your order. ajax ordered the specialty for today, the crystal shrimp. after a small wait, the two of you waved chef mao goodbye after he gave you two your food. the warm dish let out puffs of steam and glistened under all the light of the lanterns due to it's crystal clear skin, there were 4 in total, the wrapping for each was folded into the shape of a flower. they were so pretty, you almost felt bad for eating them. 

sitting down on a nearby bench, the two of you enjoyed the crystal shrimp while making small talk. the crystal shrimps were delicious themselves but it felt better to enjoy them with someone you loved. 

after finishing the food, you and ajax had a great time. you guys played a few rounds of theatre mechanics, ruijin was pleased at how skilled the two of you were and rewarded both of you with hefty prizes. upon bumping into zhongli, the three of you decided to enjoy some tea with him. after bidding farewell to the funeral consultant, the two of you released some xiao lanterns and watched as they floated into the night sky. 

feeling a bit tired, the two of you then decided to relax and take a walk instead of participating in games. as you and your boyfriend were strolling around the harbour, something, or someone caught his gaze. you look over to where his eyes were trailing to.

oh.

a beautiful young lady dressed in a white dress with a cecilia tucked into her golden blonde hair and a puffy companion floating by her side waved at ajax. her smile brighter than the sun and her movement as graceful as the moon. her honey glazed eyes shone with familiarity and glee at the sight of him.

of course you recognized this girl. she was none other than the otherworldly traveler, lumine. she fought alongside the liyue qixing and even the adepti to defeat the great osial. the people of liyue spoke about her often, everyone knew how she had also earned the title of honorary knight in mondstadt and defeated one of the four winds despite her young age. 

you were once again brought back into reality when ajax spoke, "hey babe ill be right back okay? i wanna catch up with lumine real quick." 

you felt his hand leave yours, the warmth dissipated with it. you felt an uncomfortable feeling bubble up as you watched your boyfriend run to someone else, leaving you alone by yourself to stand in the sea of lanterns and people. 

it didn't feel right.

you stayed in place with a dejected look for a while waiting for ajax to return but he was taking a while so you decided to go check what was going on with him.

"-but then teucer decided to do it anyway!” you hear ajax’s boyish voice ring out with amusement.

as the blond and the redhead laughed together. you couldn't help but think about the two looked enchanting with each other.

you shook your head and decided to make your presence known. "ajax-" 

ajax perked up, "oh! babe sorry to keep you waiting let me introduce you. lumine this is my partner y/n!" ajax exclaimed with a cute grin.

you gave lumine a small wave and spoke with a polite smile, "it's a pleasure to meet you lumine." 

"it’s nice to meet you too y/n.” lumine replied cheerfully.

now that you’ve got a better look at the blonde, she's so much more beautiful than you could have ever imagined. 

her velvety blonde hair fell gracefully, her porcelain skin was practically glowing without a single visible blemish, her golden eyes shone with beauty that rivaled cor lapis. to wrap it up, her short stature was presented with grace and poise. all in all, everything about the blonde was nothing less than perfection.

everyone loved her and you could understand the reason behind it very well. gorgeous, kind, and righteous, the hero of every region everyone respected. you couldn’t help but wish you were like her instead of your boring self, without a vision, without any standing out achievements either…

you started to space out while the two started up a conversation again, thinking about the feelings you were currently having. why were you feeling like this?

"hey babe we should get going! it's getting late." the voice of your lover broke you out of your thinking.

you were overthinking a lot today huh. "oh. we probably should get going then." 

"bye ajax! bye y/n! it was really nice meeting you." lumine said with a pearly smile gracing her features. she then walked off to find her floating companion who was near a food stall inhaling dish after dish of food.

wait.

ajax..? he wasn’t childe or tartaglia to her, but ajax. you didn't know how to feel upon hearing the real name of your boyfriend slip out of the blonde. you knew how secretive ajax could be when it came to his family and personal life so the fact that lumine knew his real name put a feeling of unease within you.

the way home was pretty quiet, you didn't want ajax to notice that you were feeling off. you felt so guilty for having these feelings about him and lumine but you couldn’t help it. your last relationship had practically trampled on your ability to trust others, you could never tell if someone was lying to you or being truthful. you contemplated telling him how you felt but you decided against it, you’ve never been great at expressing your feelings after all. however, after a while of him blabbing about random topics, you couldn’t curb your curiosity any longer and realized you wanted to know more about your lover's relationship between him and lumine.

after a while of peaceful silence, you let out a small breath, "hey ajax?"

“yes y/n?" 

"who is lumine… to you?"

ajax perked up at the sound of the blonde's name, "lumine? she's a good friend and a formidable opponent of course. it's been a while since i’ve fought with someone who could keep up with me on the battlefield!" ajax spoke with enthusiasm.

you felt a twinge of pain shoot into your heart at the tone that your lover used when speaking about the blonde. did he speak like that when he was talking about you? 

"oh… i see. she must be a very powerful person then." you replied with feigned glee.

ajax noticed that you were in low spirits, "why? is something wrong?" he questioned with slight worry.

"no! i'm alright. i was just curious because you two seemed… close." you lied. you weren't ok, but you didn't know how to tell him. probably because you didn't even know why you felt such-

envy 

that was what you were feeling. not petty jealousy or sadness, you were envious. envious of lumine. her beauty, her strength, her personality, everything. the feeling consumed every inch of your body and dyed you green. your insecurities swallowed you up and spit you out, rendering you vulnerable against the little demons that poked at your thoughts.

when the two of you got home and freshened up, ajax practically passed out the second he lied in bed with you. on the other hand, you stayed wide awake, stuck thinking about the way lumine and ajax interacted. the smiles, the laughter, the fond looks they gave each other plagued your mind, rendering you unable to sleep. after a while of staring blankly at the ceiling, you groaned and carefully lifted the sheets to not wake your lover and got out of bed to make yourself a cup of tea. you used the tea leaves you bought from pops kai, the calming properties of the tea always helped you when you felt down. 

"they're just friends, don't overthink it, just friends, just friends." you whispered to yourself, trying to give yourself a sense of reassurance. after finishing the tea you got back into bed,  it was hard but you eventually fell asleep next to your lover.

next morning, you were woken by the sound of your boyfriend walking around in the living room doing something. it was only around 7am so you were wondering why up so early as he usually woke up at 8. you groggily walked out of the bedroom.

ajax noticed you and smiled fondly at the cute sight of you rubbing your eyes. "good morning babe, did i wake you up? sorry about that, i was just getting ready to go train."

"oh. by yourself?" somehow, you had a feeling of where this conversation was headed.

"no, with lumine, we made a deal yesterday to go to yaoguang shore today to fight some ruin guards and hunters for materials!" he chuckled.

lumine. lumine

the name echoed in your mind like a mantra. you were aware of his weekly spars with the blonde but today would be the second day he went out with her this week. a part of your heart told you to stop him, another part told you to let him go. in this internal battle, you chose the latter and let him go. after all, who were you to stop him? it's not like you could be the one to satisfy his thirst for battle, only someone like lumine could.

you were having a day off due to the lantern rite festival, but to be honest it's not like you needed the money. with the amount of money ajax had he could probably support you and your next 4 generations. with your spare day, you decided to clean up the house because it was a bit messy due to teucer playing around the day before. 

while cleaning up you found a spare xiao lantern that teucer was supposed to release when he came over. since you had spare time you decided to set another lantern yourself, it would be a waste to not use it after all. as people say, during the lantern rites, put your wish into a lantern and set it into the sky for it to become true. 

"i wish to stay with ajax, till death does us apart." 

you only hoped he felt the same way about you.

you put the note in the xiao lantern and set it off into the sky, you watched with sentiment as it floated away towards the clear blue sky.

you had a hard time focusing on the task you were doing for the rest of your day so you decided to take your mind off things and go take a look around liyue harbour to see if there was anything worth checking out, or buying. 

liyue harbour contained the usual, the fragrance of grilled tiger fish wafting from the stand next to where you would usually buy your groceries, the kids messing around near the boats, and you even met xiangling who tried to offer you her new recipe of jade parcels but you kindly refused. 

after that you went to give the adorable little pharmacist, qiqi, a visit. she was under the  cashier stand like usual, you gave her a little pat on the head and asked for the usual medicine you buy for ajax. 

you then bumped into zhongli, who was also strolling around. the two of you chattered about the festival and other shenanigans before bidding each other farewell. the amount of history about liyue and its traditions the man was familiar with would never fail to surprise you.

there wasn’t really anything left for you to do in the harbour so you started to head back home. not far away from the liuli pavilion you saw a familiar redhead talking to the owner of mingxing jewelry with a shorter figure standing beside him. 

upon closer inspection, you noticed it was ajax with someone else at a jewelry shop looking at the items. it was none other than lumine standing next to him. you watched as lumine picked out a piece of jewelry from the stand that would look so well on her. the gem glowed it’s colour under her smile and looked more fitting than ever. weren’t they supposed to be at yaoguang shore?

without second thought ajax bought the jewelry in lumines hand and put it in a gift bag with a look of tenderness. your heart dropped to the pits of your stomach, you felt as if the world was crashing down on you. your breathing quickened and your heart palpitated at alarming rates. every little insecurity that was planted in you had finally finished blooming. was this really going to happen to you a second time? was once not enough for the entertainment of the gods?

that was when he saw you, standing only a little bit away from him holding the items you purchased for him and the fresh groceries you were going to use to cook dinner for him.

ajax’s eyes widened in surprise upon seeing you, “y/n!? why are you he-” he was tense, you noticed, just like your ex-lover when they were caught.

you tried to regulate your breathing and spoke, “stop.” you managed to say, cutting off ajax before he could finish his sentence. he flinched at your dull tone.

“y/n! i know what you’re thinking but i promise we were just-” ajax hurriedly tries to explain.

“don’t. i think i've seen enough childe.” he frowned at the use of his moniker. 

your lips trembled, water collecting at the bottom of your eyes. ‘don’t cry. don’t cry, don’t cry.’ you repeated in your head, you didn’t want to appear weak in front of the two. your ajax who you loved so much, who you cared for so much, who you were planning to spend the rest of your life with, is now buying jewelry for someone else after lying to you.

“i was foolish this entire time, of course. instead of someone like me, a visionless nobody you would choose her over me. you’re just like-” your voice cracked as you forced the words out of your tightened throat. 

“y/n it’s not like that! please just let me explain!” ajax pleaded urgently. he hated that you were talking bad about yourself.

after gaining a smidge of composure you decided you couldn’t be near the two, “no need childe, i understand. now if you’ll excuse me, i'll be on my way.” you muttered and brushed past the two. 

“wait y/n!-” he reached out to grab your arm before the blonde next to him stopped him.

lumine sighed and spoke up after staying silent, “let them go for now. leave them alone for a bit, they need some time to think. it’s understandable why someone would be upset if they saw their lover with someone else like this.” she comforted before patting him on the back.

“yeah. i guess you’re right...” ajax murmured with a crestfallen look. he regretted not communicating with you, otherwise this wouldn’t have happened. he should’ve cleared up any suspicions you had and reassured you. he knew about how you weren’t confident due to your last relationship. gods, he felt like he was worse than your dirtbag of an ex.

you walked towards your home slowly trying to process what just happened. your tears already ran dry and you didn’t think more were able to escape from your eyes. the fading sunset seemed so blurry yet peaceful. somehow, instead of walking home, you ended up near yaoguang shore which happened to be the spot you and ajax would go to often. his name brought bitter feelings back as you remember the events that just happened but you took a deep breath and sat on the sand across from the shore. you listened to the sound of the ocean, the waves dousing the sand it touched. you took notice of the starconches laying on the sand. 

feelings of melancholy welled up inside you. these are ajax’s favourites. the blue shells reminded you of his eyes. his lovely eyes were the blue of the waves of the sea, they crashed into you and pulled you into them. you could spend all day swimming in the infinite hues until you drowned.

you buried your head onto your knees and let out a pained cry you’ve been holding in. here, where no one can find you, where no one can hear you. only the ocean will hear your troubles and worries, you hoped it could wash them away and you could forget about them forever. you sat there in peace by yourself for what felt like hours.

you sighed and decided that you should get going, but to where? you didn’t want to see ajax if he’s even going to be there at all. maybe you could crash at zhongli’s place…

 just as you were about to leave you heard a familiar voice behind your back. “y/n!” it was the man you loved, ajax, sprinting to you with the same gift bag he was holding in his hands at mingxing jewelry. 

you turned around to look at him. your hair was flowing in the wind with the sunset behind your back. to ajax it was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen in his life. 

“i knew you’d be here.” ajax spoke with relief.

you looked away from him not knowing how to feel right now about your “lover” and stayed silent.

“y/n. i swear it wasn’t what it looked like, i would never do that to you. lumine and i really don’t have anything going on in between us, i chose you as my partner and i plan on keeping it that way for the rest of my life. in fact,” ajax murmured while opening up the gift bag he was holding. it was a bracelet with a fine piece of noctilucous jade in the middle with cor lapis fragments decorating the border of the blue gem. the jewelry wafted with fragrances, the morning dew smell from a qingxin, the classical smell of the harbour from a silk flower and lastly the everlasting aroma of violet grass.  

“do you like it? lumine and i picked it out for you at mingxing jewelry for our upcoming anniversary. i just wanted her opinion on what to choose for you. this was one of the most beautiful pieces that they had. i heard it took a super long time to make, oh! the jade in the middle will also make the bracelet glow in the dark! pretty cool huh?” ajax smiled as he lifted your wrist to put it on you.

at a loss of words, you lifted your head up at the male and gave him a soft smile, “thank you ajax… i love it, it’s perfect in every way possible.”

“just like you.” the redhead spoke fondly with a grin on his face while softly stroking your hair.

“oh shut up you flirt.” you tried to hide your smile as you both giggled on the beach with the sunset dripping behind you two. 

after a while of being engulfed in ajax’s arms you spoke, “ajax, i want to apologize for jumping to conclusions about you and lumine. i..you know about how i find it hard to trust people sometimes but it was unfair for me to do that to you, i know you would never cheat on me.” you spoke, hugging him tighter as if he would leave if you get go. 

“y/n. don’t you dare think for a second that i’ll leave you for someone else ok? you’re the only one in this world that i want and it’s staying that way. i don’t care if you’re visionless, or if you don’t have any achievements whatsoever. i still love you so so much.” ajax exclaimed as he buried his head into the crook of your neck.

you felt a certain warmth as your face flushed. how did you end up with someone as perfect as ajax. you lifted his face with your hands and pressed your lips against his. he deepens the kiss and your heart melts.

“thank you ajax. i’ll always be by your side too, no matter what happens. my love for you has no ends.” you speak with pure affection as you nuzzled your face into ajax’s soft yet firm chest. 

ajax feels his face heat up and he quickly speaks, “c’mon now, let’s go home, i can’t wait to taste your cooking after running around all day today.”

the two of you walked together on the beach, hand in hand, leaving footprints and doubts in the sand.

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