#i hope u (and anyone else reading this) are doing well !!
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Choices fandom appreciation shoutouts
This event is so so so lovely and I really want to join in hehe. I'm not great at expressing my thoughts/feelings and stuff but I really wanna try because I'm really thankful for all of u guys!! :)
When I first posted on this account last summer I honestly expected I'd probably post a few things and dip again because I usually don't get much attention on social media platforms. And also wasn't sure if anyone would really vibe with my approach to characters and stories hahaha đ.
But instead people were so nice and I felt so welcomed and like 'oh wow people seem to actually enjoy what I do??' And I had so much fun reading the tags left on reblogs of my art and stuff. And alongside that it has been soooo fun to see everyone elses posts and characters and leaving my thoughts on those as well (and slowly getting less shy about it too đȘ). And I even started reading fanfic for the first time in my life hahaha.
I feel like I'm rambling but I just really want to say all this haha, it's been so fun being on here! I love drawing everyone's characters and other requests and will keep doing that (like pleeaase dont be shy, I love drawing everyone's characters) because it's fun and it's also kinda how I say 'thank you' for all being so nice to me!! So yeah thank you all for making me feel so welcome the past months! :)
Especially as someone who usually has trouble making friends and putting myself out there due to shyness it means a lot!
Under the cut I'll also put some messages directed at separate people, I'm fighting the lil voice in my head that's shy about this but you guys all deserve to hear it hehe, even if I'm kinda ass at expressing myself like this
But even if not mentioned/tagged I appreciate everyone who supports me/my work so much and I love seeing you guys in my notes!!
@lovealexhunt In the short time I've been here I've noticed you do so much for people and this fandom! I've loved all the fics you wrote that I read so far and love how you write Mal and Daenarya together (and the vampire au OOOO). She's so fun and I loved drawing her interacting with Ripley and will definitely do it again sometime!! And I'm also still so obsessed with the geometric Ripley art and I thought it was so sweet of you to draw that for me aaaa
@lilyoffandoms I always love seeing your art on my tumblr feed and your designs for your mc's!! And I'm still sooo in love with the Ripley drawing you did and that really made my day back then because it was a total surprise too!! In general all the art you've done of my characters has just been awesome and made my day every time!!
@choicesmc I love what you do with all your mc's, when you make picrews for them, the artworks I've seen you do for them and all the info you share about them, you're so so creative!! I love all your writing a lotttt, especially the shorter ones you've been posting lately!! I rly enjoy talking to you in dm's a lot, if it ever seems like I don't it's just me being shy haha đ. I also love the tags you leave when you reblog my art and when you point out stuff you notice :)
@sapphoschoices Thank you for so often sharing my posts!! And in general always supporting people and sharing their work! I love all the edits I've seen you do and hope you'll keep sharing more hehe. I also read a fic by you for the first time last week and really enjoyed it! Made me wanna replay Desire & Decorum..
@rosesnink Thank you for letting me borrow your mc's a few times when I wanted to draw interactions! I had so so much fun writing back and forth about Rex and Brienne after I posted the art of them together hehe, I always love to see other people with orc mc's in general. I also really like the gif edits you make and your fics I've read so far!
@aria-ashryver You were one of the first people in the fandom who started sharing and commenting on my art and thanks to that I ended up not just posting a few things and dipping forever like I expected hahah. I always really enjoy reading through the tags you leave on the art I post!! I finally caught up to SICSIG a while ago and it was sooo fun seeing what you did with Immortal Desires and all the extra lore and stuff and I can so clearly tell so much love went into it. And your sprite edits are also always so amazing aaaa.
@cadybear420 Thank you for often sharing my posts I really appreciate it hehe. And thank you for letting me draw your mc's a few times, I had sm fun with it haha. And it was really fun talking about Ripley and Evie interactions. I really enjoy your edits, you're so skilled aaa!! I also enjoy reading about your mc's a lot + how you write gnc characters and gnc mĂf romance.
@gaiuskamilah I loveeee your art a lot and love seeing it on my feed!! I also really enjoy reading your thoughts on books, characters, themes in books etc. You make me wanna replay BloodBound so bad (and I definitely will do that soon)
@hsslilly-blog I'm sooo obsessed with your art you have no idea. You're rly funny and I rly enjoy seeing your posts on my feed. I really really love how you write characters, like they just feel so real, it's super inspiring!
@mydemonsdrivealimo I really really enjoy your art and everything you share about Jensen and Bryce. You're like The Bryce Mutual to me, anything you say about him is basically canon to me lol. Thank you for letting me draw Jensen a while ago it was SO fun aaaa
@peonyblossom
Thank you for the cover redraw ideas you sent when I asked for ideas, I had sooo much fun drawing the Alpha cover with Kalani and Channing!! I enjoy the bits you share about your mc's and oc's a lot too!
@choicesfandomappreciation
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i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,
if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."
i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,
i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ÊâżÊ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason
#crazy that the mindset some people on here have is that theyre the only ones allowed to post their opinions#ive repeated this a lot on this blog but i rlly think people forget that the person on the other side of the screen is in fact a person#if ur harassing people and publicly making fun of them then ur just as bad as any real life bully#that shit isnt as funny or harmless as u like to pretend it is#not once have i ever targetted anyone or went on someones blog to harass them over my opinion#yet people think its fine to do the same to me and treat it as if its like. revenge or something#like ? me saying 'i dont like toxic yaoi' is not equivalent to someone going on someone elses page and going 'how tf do u like toxic yaoi'#I DONT CARE !! all ive ever done is sit in my own little bubble and had opinions and that makes people mad#honestly though the people who will publicly talk and post abt it are significantly meaner#and i want to act like im not bothered by it because i know most of them r just angry that someone has a different opinion#and they want all their followers to bandwagon off of them (idk why maybe for validation or whatever-same reasons anyone would bully)#but seriously if u actually do think that something i said was out of line and crossed thise boundaries- just fucking tell me ?#im a person bro. ur solution to disagreeing with me shouldnt be 'lol im gonna post abt this and make everyone harass them'#have a conversation with me dude i dont bite ? if u cant talk to me like a person then just dont fucking say anything wtf#its so cowardly to be like 'well no i didnt wanna say anything to u cuz i didnt wanna be rude.. so instead i publicly made fun of u!'#LIKE WHATTTT STOPPPPP </3333#ok anyway this post wasnt supposed to get THAT serious.#MY POINT IS just be considerate of other people and dont base ur hatred off of assumptions#ur deflecting the blame onto someone else because u dont want to admit that ur just a fucking bully lol#being inconsiderate on here is something ive also been guilty of back when i first joined the fandom and was clueless#but grown ass adults who have been on here way longer r still doing that shit which is crazy#and i cant say anything because they have so much leverage over me and idk if its on purpose or if they dont even realize#ok im putting fandom tags cuz i want people to see this sorry. this is my one post thats actually targetted but its at a lot of people#so if u look at this and think 'hey i do that' pls evaluate urself<3#i mean its also targetted at everyone who does this anonomously so i dont know who it is OKOK IM DONE BYE SORRY HOPE THIS IS UNDERSTANDABLE#watch nobody read this fr#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post
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can't stop thinking about dream report universe phil. do u think that when they had to take steve to the vet there was a part of him that was hoping to see vet dan? even tho it makes no sense? even tho he has dan howell dan?
#sometimes when i like someone ill always be hoping to see them somewhere. even tho it makes no sense. do u think he would do that#vet dan is the only one i can think of ever coming up unless they ever had to go bavk to zils st#well i mean. maybe when they go to a starbys he might glimpse a man in an ill fitting suit and his heart would skip a beat#not that he really liked that one but he still really cared about that one#but anyway. taking steve to the vet is a big canon event and dream report phil would probably definitely hope against all logic#to see vet dan there somehow#ahhhh#wake up to my dream report#dnp#phan#pml#diary#also good god. if anyone else has read this please i need to scream. about it to someone anyone#im grieving finishing it like.
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Reminder that sometimes you have off days and thatâs okay đ
#cal rambles#trying to change my mindset lol#yeah Iâm a lil upset I ended up wasting an entire day#but u know what. i spent most of the day sleeping which my body probably needed#and I spent the rest of the day hanging out with my sibling who I donât get to see very often bc they live in a different city#so itâs cool itâs okay that I didnât do much#what I did do was good enough :]#there is always tomorrow and the day after that#u got this cal. YOU GOT THIS !!!#and to anyone else reading this: YOU GOT THIS AS WELL !!!!#btw sorry if I havenât responded to stuff or talked that much#im. not doing too hot in the energy or motivation department LOL#but I love you I love you I love you#<- hoping the ppl I mean that for will read this
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finishes replies and runs off
#out of candy : ooc .#ngl i have not been feeling too good in here lately#just a bit unhappy and uncertain w my muses in general ig#and insecurities#bc brain stupid#but anyways#at least i did all replies i owed & some were posted n some q#but its all done#so imma go uh do smth else rn#if anyone is reading these tags still i hope u are doing well <3#and that everyones having a good day/night
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it's been a weird 8 hours. but i had a dream about boothill last night so fuck it we ball
#idk why it couldn't be about the husband but. beggars cant be choosers ig lmfoajennfn#but yea i went to bed late last night which was a dumb thing to do. but i had only been asleep for like 20 minutes#before my roommate woke me up at 2am in excruciating pain. but she also wouldn't let me take her to the e.r so. went back to bed#had to wake up 4 hours later to take her to work. then went back to bed for what should've been like an hour.#ended up accidentally turning my alarm off instead of snoozing. slept until 3 minutes before i needed to be to work. and had to come in late#and on top of that i'm getting sick#so its all just super off rn whnfkiwntnf#need to just fast forward to tonight and go to bed so that i can start over tomorrow#anyways. the dream does not bode well for the brainrot its just gonna be worse now so mfkccijengmvkdjd#i dont think anyones gonna wanna read all of this but if u do i love uuuuu#and i hope everyone else's days are/have been much better than mine lol#âËâčâËâïž bunny babbles âËâčâË
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do you believe me now? | 7
in which spencer reid and inexperienced!fem reader sleep together for the first time
series masterlist
18+ (smut) warnings/tags: loss of virginity, oral f/m receiving, so much praise, pain during sex, unprotected sex, cr**mp**, bit of overstim, soft dom spence, if u don't like that freak shit (love and intimacy) this is not for u, spencer is a nerd, they're both nerds actually and that factors in heavily, you may get more from this part by FIRST reading how they met in this bonus chapter a/n: thank you all for being patient, ilysm, this was the most laborious thing i've ever done for no reason and also this part changed so many times and is not what i expected it to be so pls go in with tempered expectations and keep in mind that this story is more about the characters and their specific relationship dynamic than just being porn. i truly have no idea how you guys will react to this but i sincerely hope you love it and them like i do<3 also it's twice as long as the other parts so feedback would be very very appreciated! again i love u all and enjoy the penultimate part!
Spencerâs lips are on yours, and you werenât expecting itâhell, you werenât expecting him to be in your apartment. After all, heâd wished you goodnight and walked out only a moment ago.
âSpencerâwhââÂ
But heâs insistent with his lips, kissing you bruisingly over and over like thereâs nectar on your tongue and heâs parched for you. Still, he has enough decency to not completely ignore you, exhaling a quick excuse over your flushed lips.Â
âI missed you.â
This time, though, you dodge his hungry kiss. Part of you thinks, as he watches you, eyes alight and breathing heavily, that he sort of likes your playing hard to get. Itâs not something you do very often, admittedly.Â
âWeâve been apart for like, maybe a minute.â
âI didnât even make it to the parking lot.â
Your face heats. Â
âWell you canât justâyou canât just walk in like that! And I thought you said we werenât supposed to mix fighting with pleasure.â
âThen start locking your door. And I thought you said we werenât fighting.â
You roll your eyes in response, though your heart is still pittering in your chest.Â
At least his hands move to your arms, stroking up and down relatively chastelyâalthough he has this way of making everything seem intimate. Especially when paired with those amber eyes of hisâglowing like a candlelight beacon in the window guiding you home. He speaks in low, appeasing tones and darts his tongue over his lips.Â
âI originally said itâs a bad idea for couples to sleep together after an argument. But you knowâmakeup sex is ubiquitous across culture and time because it works. Anger and arousal trigger a lot of the same hormones, specifically norepinephrine which is involved in feelings of longing andââ
âSpencer.â
âYou know what else?â He mutters in a way that feels dangerous. âIt tends to feel better than regular sex.â
That earns a shaky exhale from you. Whether from irritation or arousal is anyoneâs guessâprobably a combination of both.Â
âSo you came back to fuck me?â
Itâs probably evident to Spencer from your choice of language that this already isnât going exactly as heâd planned. He doesnât answer right awayâjust regards you, gaze bouncing between your two eyes like heâs trying to calculate your level of anger.Â
âIs that what weâre calling it now?â
You push him away and move to walk down the hall.Â
âMaybe your window of opportunity has passed.â
A warm hand wraps around your wrist in the dark of the hallway and he pulls you back until youâre falling against something tall and warm and lean. The smell of polished amber and sandalwood overwhelms your senses.Â
âWhatâs wrong, angel? What happened in the minute I was gone to change your mind?â His voice is scratchy like a favorite record. Itâs the voice he could hold you captive with. The one you have a very difficult time saying no to.Â
âI donât know,â you mutter, unintentionally leaning back against him. âWhat happened to change yours?â
His response comes pressed against your ear, half-lost in your hair.Â
âYouâre upset that I changed my mind. I thought you wanted this, honey.â
âI do,â you admit, letting your head fall back against his shoulder and bringing his arm to wrap around you. âAnd if you hadnât walked out earlier I wouldâve done it. But⊠Iâm tired of us doing everything on your timeline. You just⊠you expect me to be amenable to what you want, constantly.â His nose and lips press into your shoulder.Â
âWhat do you mean?â
âLike⊠Iâve been begging you to sleep with me for I donât even know how long. And you keep changing your mind, and I feel like youâre being really confusing about it. Obviously you donât have to sleep with me, you never did, but I just feel kind of⊠jerked around. And you did it again tonight.â
A beat of silence.Â
âI understand your frustration,â he appeases, securing both his arms around you. You cling weakly to his wrist, to his warmth, like heâs a tether in a storm. âWould you prefer to wait until you initiate it?â
âNo. Yes! I donât know,â you huff, disentangling yourself from his arms and continuing toward your bedroom. âNow Iâm annoyed at you again.â
He follows you right through the door.Â
âJust tell me what to do! I donât want to be annoying.â
âI canât. Iâm being unreasonable.â You flick on your adjoining bathroom light and examine yourself in the mirror. Yeesh. The eye makeup situation is abysmal after all the crying that has taken place over the course of the evening.Â
âSo choose to be reasonable and tell me what you want from me. Iâll give it to you.â
You frown at your reflection, pushing your hair back and rubbing at some excess mascara.Â
âNo, youâre not understanding me. Iâm not choosing to be unreasonable. My thought process regarding the situation is inherently unreasonable and thereâs nothing I can do about it because itâs just the way I feel.â
âThe feeling being that Iâve been too domineering over how our sexual relationship has unfolded?â
Spencer watches you in the bathroom mirror, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed as you tip some makeup remover onto a reusable cotton pad. You try not to check him out as you nod, but itâs impossibleâwith his sleeves rolled up to show defined forearms cradled in capable hands, and his hair all messy.Â
When he pushes off the wall you freeze, unsure of his next moveâuntil heâs gently spinning you around and taking the bottle and cloth from your hands.Â
âMaybe it would help,â he begins, soft as he focuses on the new task, carefully bringing the round to your right eye so he can remove the bleeding mascara. You allow your eyes to flutter shut. âIf I remind you why Iâve been so hesitant.â
âBecause you hate giving me joy.â
He laughs, nothing more than one huff from his nose.Â
âYouâre spoiled and we both know it.â
Point taken, as he gently wipes your makeup away for you. Your silence is his cue to continue.Â
âEverything I said about worrying that you would regret choosing me is true. It was especially true when I thought you felt lukewarm toward me. And all of that confusing stuff I said in the phone is true tooâhaving sex for the first time is incredibly intimate and weird and sometimes scary. If youâre not 100% sure about your partner, or if you think your feelings are unrequited, itâs hard to be completely comfortable in such a vulnerable situation and your likelihood of getting hurt or having regrets skyrockets. I know that from experience. I wanted better for you than what I got. Still, I know it was wrong to project my feelings about the significance of sex onto you. In that regard, youâre right. I was being domineering, and I guess⊠I guess to an extent Iâm still deflecting. I shouldnât be trying to pretend like itâs about you when in reality I mostly just didnât want to get hurt again. I didnât want to go through that again, and thatâs okay, but I shouldnât have made you feel like it was something you could have changed.â
You try to process that.Â
âGo through what?â You whisper hoarsely. Something about having him at such close range while he takes such care with you feels whisper-y.Â
âSleeping with someone who didnât love me back.â
Your reply is small.Â
âOh. Right.â
How could anyone not love him back?
Spencerâs reply is simple and kind, without a hint of, obviously you dumb bitchâwhich is pretty much what youâre thinking to yourself.Â
âDoes that make sense, lovely? Do you understand why I wanted to wait?â
He lets you ponder for a while in comfortable-enough silence as he finishes removing your eye makeup with a characteristically gentle hand. When you open your eyes, he looks genuinely content, screwing the lid back on the bottle as if heâs got an eternity to wait for your answer.Â
âYeah. That part makes sense. But why did you seem so⊠I donât know, like, wishy-washy about it?â
Spencerâs eyes dart up to meet yours, brows slightly raised. Then a small laugh bubbles up from somewhere inside him.Â
âBecause Iâm obsessed with you. I thought about you like that constantly. I still do.â
Your breath catches at the casual admission.Â
âOh.â
Spencer hums, setting the bottle down before tenderly thumbing away some excess mascara that he must have missed from under your eye.Â
âYou didnât think it was easy for me, did you?â
âWell⊠kind of,â you admit, tracking his eyes until they meet yours.Â
âNot sleeping with you has been among the hardest things Iâve ever done. Especially when you started begging me. That first time, when I picked you up from Penelopeâs and you asked me why we hadnât had sex yetâŠâ
He trails off, still rubbing at your cheek as he loses himself in thought.Â
Eventually, you grow impatient, prompting, âwhat?â
âItâs not a nice thought.â
âWell, you have to tell me now,â you insist.Â
He half smiles, thumb straying to your lips.Â
âIt was just⊠you had no idea what you were talking about, and you were ready to throw a tantrum in my living room until I gave you what you thought you wanted. Part of me was imagining bending you over the couch right then, since you thought you were so ready.â
It feels like someone has snipped the pulley that keeps your stomach in place.Â
âSpencer,â you splutter, convinced your cheek is tangibly heating under his touch as your head reels at the revelation that he could have such a deeply dirty and mildly sinister mind.Â
âI told you it wasnât nice.â
You swallow.Â
âIs that⊠is that still what you want?â
His brows flicker again and he tucks hair behind your ear.Â
âTo bend you over my couch? No.â
Your face warms even more and you turn to leave the bathroom, sick of his teasing.Â
âOkay, goodniââ
âHold on.â Spencer catches you by your waist and pulls you back into him for the second time tonight. A dangerous smile pulls at the corners of his mouth. âI know what you meant. And no, I donât want to bend you over my couch.â He laughs, slipping a hand under your shirt to rub your back. âYou know what I want. Iâm more interested in learning what you want.â
âI wantâŠâ Your eyes dance between his, and your heart flutters against the confines of your chest as you realize what youâve wanted for so long is finally yours for the taking. âI want to stop talking about it.â
His expression neutralizes and you know itâs probably intentional to stop whatever feelings you assume him to be having color your decision.Â
âOh?â
âI just think weâve talked about it enough.â
Before he can say another word, or ask you another question, you kiss him with such passion thereâs no way he can doubt how much you want this.Â
Only a moment passes before he allows himself to lean into it, cupping your face between reverent hands and taking control of the pace of the kiss, slowing it down until you can hardly breathe. Your little noise of want has him quickening the process, pressing against you until youâre walking backward out of the bathroom. Itâs like the first crack in a dam. After that, everything becomes inevitable.Â
Your knees hit the back of the bed and you sit down hard on the mattress, smiling up at him. You skim the front of his thighs with your palms as he smooths your hair.
Spencer groans, leaning down and kissing you til youâre on your back.Â
âDonât make that face.â
An affronted huff from you breaks the kiss up and he pulls back to study your expression.Â
âWhat do you mean donât make that face? I was just smiling at you.â
âI know you were. And you have such a pretty smile it makes me feel guilty aboutâŠÂ defiling you.â
Your brows flicker up and your mouth drops open with an affronted scoff.
âWatch yourself. Iâll defile you.â
âYou already have,â he admits with a half-laugh as he kisses you again. âMy mind was never this dirty before we met.â
âHm. Tell me you like my smile.â
He pauses and then chuckles dryly against your mouth.Â
âI love your smile. Youâre gorgeous. Any more demands?â
Pleased, you shake your head and pull him closer, wrapping your legs around his waist.Â
âNot currently.â
âReally?â he murmurs, trailing kisses over your cheek and down your jaw, âIâd do just about anything you asked me right now. You donât want to take advantage of that?â
The sensation of his lips just below your ear threatens all rational thought in your brain, but you manage a reply with only a slight delay and a hint of a waver coloring your tone.Â
âI shouldnât have to demand things. You should just know to do them.â
His kisses drag lower, warm and unhurried and youâre trying not to let your hyper-sensitivity from going a week completely untouched showâbut you doubt he misses the way your breath catches, or the barely audible squeaks, or the arch of your back or the tightening grip on his shirt.Â
âWell, for future referenceââ he nips at a sensitive spot and you gasp quietly, even as you tilt your head to offer him more access. More room to bite, if he so chooses. ââI happen to enjoy it when you make demands of me. Especially when those demands entail letting me call you pretty.â
âIâve never not let you call me pretty before,â you huff. Itâs a touchy subject, and Spencer can probably sense your hackles rising, but he has you right where he wants you and so he pushes anyway.Â
âNo. But you never believe me. Weâve had this conversation. You always act like Iâm walking you to the gallows when I compliment you.âÂ
Itâs hard to make a defense when heâs leaning his weight onto one arm so he can unbutton your jeans, when heâs looking down at you with sparkling onyx and scorched-earth eyes like youâre something to be consumed. But not violently, noâardently. Like fruit heavy on the vine. Like youâre a religious rite to the devout and deluded. A sacrament.
But itâs not a blind passion. Spencer knows you; every inch of you and every loose thread on your soul begging to be pulled. He knows you and he still wants you like this. To be perfectly honest, youâd never thought youâd feel comfortable handing yourself over to someone like thisâvulnerable and all your layers of armor shed. Never in your life would you have thought you could trust a person so implicitly that youâd hand them a knife and show them exactly where to press, that youâd say, I know once you open me and you see me youâll not want to change a thing.
You adore him. Cosmically. Enormously. In every dimension. Heâs lodged so deep in your heart you have no choice but to love him eternally.Â
Itâs deep in the midst of all these very profound revelations that you realize Spencer has stalled with your zipper undone. His hand has strayed to your hip, to sweetly push your shirt up and trace love letters into warmed and downy skin with his thumb.Â
âI just wish you could see yourself how I see you,â he says softly, the weight of the truth a strain on his vocal cords.Â
Sometimes, he is so kind itâs like a punch to your stomach. Youâve never been quite as kind as him. And nobodyâs ever been as kind to you as he is. Youâve done nothing to deserve his kindness, but you know he needs a place for it, and youâre here with open arms.Â
He studies you a moment longer, swallowing as his eyes trail over your face and lower. You want to reach out and brush strands of caramel hair out of his face, but he seems to be thinking so hard youâre hesitant to distract him.Â
âIâve never told you this, because I know youâd just shoot it down, but⊠you are genuinely the most beautiful girl Iâve ever met in my life.â
Something twinges in the depths of your stomachâthe darker shades who live there and exist solely to whisper not enough not enough not enough to you every minute of every day.Â
But theyâre simply not a match for the softness you find when you do reach out for his hair, or the way he looks at you. Spencer loosely wraps his fingers around your wristânot a cuff, but an affectionate hold.Â
âDo you believe me?â
Thereâs so much earnest hope in his voice it almost jars you. He so badly wants you to understand how feels about youâheâs been trying to tell you for months and all you know how to do is refute his praise and insist on your worthlessness.Â
Ever since Spencer, you donât see the faces on magazine covers or in superhero movies, no matter how mathematically flawless they are. Nobody gets close to being as beautiful as he is in your eyes. Heâs in an entirely different echelon, and despite how you feel about yourself, you have to accept that he might feel the same about you.Â
âI do,â you say, equally soft, and 100% honest. You believe that he believes it, and thatâs enough. Itâs all that matters.Â
The shallow knit of his brow loosens. His lips ease into a suggestion of a smile. But itâs most visible in his eyesâthe way smoldering coals reignite, melting the amber glass of his irises until theyâre molten.Â
The way he kisses you then, youâd think youâd lassoed the moon and pulled it down from the sky for him. But apparently all it takes to make him incandescently, contagiously happy, is to accept a compliment.
Thereâs a renewed sense of urgency on his breath as he kisses you deeply and quick enough your heart is racing. It only goes faster when he remembers his previous task and begins tugging your jeans down, but he doesnât even bother to pull them past your knees before his hand is creeping up your thigh. Goosebumps race each other across your body as you try to remember what it feels likeâwhat he feels like. But you canât, even as his thumb fans over your inner thigh and pushes it open, gently encouraging you to give him more access to you.Â
âYouâre not wasting any time,â you breathe against him while he traces the edge of your underwear.
âDo you want me to slow down?â
Judging by the way the tips of his fingers only barely shy away from the fabric, he really wants the answer to be no. But you know in his searching gaze that heâd never push you.Â
âNo, itâs fine. As long as we⊠donât go this fast the whole time.â
âWe wonât.â The hasty words are of lower priority than the next kiss he plants to your swollen lips. âWe wonât. I just missed you so much.â
âYeah?â You giggle airily as he drags his fingers over your clit through the material, trying to ignore the way it makes your head spin.Â
âYes. Yeah.â
Youâre not sure youâve ever seen him like this, soâŠÂ desperate for you, as he drops his lips to your neck and presses barely-there kisses everywhere he knows youâre sensitive. Just the feeling of his breath against your skin has you shivering. His hand between your legs only brushes your most nerve-dense spot, but a few touches in and youâre already wound up, like if Spencer doesnât give you more soon youâll burst. And not in the good way.Â
When he finally commits to actually kissing your neck, you squeak, warmth emanating from that spot just below your jaw all the way to your toes. The frantic energy of earlier is slowly melting away, and he loses focus with his hand, as it begins straying wider, stroking your hip, your inner thigh, your stomach. Itâs like your nerve endings are on overdrive, delivering twice as much feedback to your brain as they normally would. Each touch feels like heâs conducting electricity over your body, like youâre a plasma ball. Heâd probably like that analogyâyou, a core of alternating voltage, and him, the conductor, tracing a path and giving all those electrons an easy release. If you werenât so distracted, youâd tell Spencer you found a way to work Nikola Tesla into your mutual sex life, and heâd probably propose on the spot.Â
But that electricity is building fastâeven more so when he drags his lips down just above your collarbone. Your breath hitches, simultaneously trying to crane your neck to give him more room, and curl into him so as to escape the stimulation. Finally he pulls away, and losing the softness of his mouth while the air feels so cold against the places heâd kissed almost hurts.Â
âYouâre a mess,â he chuckles affectionately, raising his hand to brush hair away from your face before stroking the heated high point of your cheek. âWhat am I going to do with you?â
Itâs teasing, but so low and gentle and honeyed it swirls your stomach.Â
âWhatever you want,â you admit quietly. Itâs a shy confession more than it is a salacious flirtation because he already has you. And you want nothing more than for him to act on that in any way he so pleases. Whatever he does, it will be careful, and kind, and because he loves you. You know that no matter how he takes you apartâheâll put you back together again.Â
âI donât know if IÂ can. Youâre all jumpy.â
God, he has the prettiest smileâeven when itâs twisted with sarcasm and a thin veneer of guilt, like he knows he shouldnât be teasing and just canât help himself.Â
âIâm not,â you defend, face heating further. âIâm not nervous. I donât know what it is.â
That sticky sweet tone is back, pooling in his eyes and dripping all over you like nectar as he languidly looks you over.Â
âI didnât say you were nervous. Just a little bit jumpy.â
Itâs not accusatoryâheâs simply stating a fact. Easy, gentle, designed to soothe.Â
You shrug helplessly and chew on your lip, unsure of how he wants you to respond. Itâs definitely true that excited as you are, youâre slightly on edge. You feel taut as a string on a guitar, tense and waiting to be yanked at any second.Â
His expression is serene, and his thoughts inscrutable as he continues lavishing you with his eyes, down to where heâs lying over you and back up. His lips part, but he doesnât speak for a moment as he formulates his words.Â
âCan we try something? Thereâs this tantric exercise that might help you relax.â
Your brows draw earnestly and you nod up at him, not requiring any convincing even though you have no idea what heâs talking about.Â
Spencer directs you to sit up, and you doâkicking your jeans all the way off so you can sit criss-cross with your hands braced on your ankles.Â
Heâs next to you on the bed, at a slight angle, one of your knees in his lap. You blink at him.Â
âNow what?â
âNow you give me one of your hands,â he says, tone tinted with a hint of an amused smile, as if your impatience is funny to him. Of course it probably is.Â
Frowning only a little, you unlock your left arm and hold it out for him, watching curiously as he takes your one hand between his and flips it palm-up.Â
âDid you know,â Spencer begins, voice low and confidential, âthat the fingertips are the second most sensitive part of the human body?â
âWhatâs the first?â
âLips,â he murmurs, eyes fixed on your hand where heâs brushing the tips of your fingers light enough it almost tickles. âTheyâre both incredibly important for keeping you alive, which is why theyâre one and two. But youâll be particularly sensitive anywhere youâre vulnerable.â His words are trailing off as he brushes his thumb over your palm and to the delicate skin of your wrist. âLike here.â
His knuckles skim up your forearm, to the crook of your elbow.Â
âAnd especially here.â
Youâre fascinated as he traces back down the length of your arm and over your inner-wrist, feather light. Then up once more, with the blunted edges of his nails, and your breath catches. Youâve never noticed how sensitive such an innocuous part of your body could be, but it has your stomach flippingâmore so when he looses a breathy laugh. âYou know, some people are actually able to reach orgasm just by light stimulation to this area.â
Your response is just as airyâyou donât recognize your voice when it comes out like that, hanging in the pitch black between you.Â
âReally?âÂ
An affirmative hum from him, as he lifts your hand and places an intentional kiss over your pulse at the bend of your wrist. Your chest aches and heat is pooling in your stomach as his gently trails them up the delicate skin of your arm. Maybe you should be embarrassed by the reaction youâre havingâafter all, itâs just your arm. But he treats every part of you like it warrants love and attention and intimacy. Even the parts you typically ignore. Certainly parts you never considered to be sexually or romantically relevant. Itâs dizzying. Itâs like magic.Â
âArms up,â Spencer finally directs, just as sweetly as heâs doing everything else, and helps you tug your shirt over your head. Every brush of fabric, every seam against your skin registers more than it normally would. Everything is heightened, and despite your state of undress youâre still warm. âYour neck is really sensitive, too. Itâs the most commonly acknowledged erogenous zone.â
Erogenous zone. Of course this all comes back to biology.Â
âTilt your head for me, honey.â
Utterly entranced and useless to not abide by him, you do so. Spencer brushes your hair over your shoulder, and if the slip of it down your back werenât enough, the graze of his fingertips against the nape of your neck has you shivering.Â
The warmth of him at your throat feels completely brand new, despite having already had his lips there only minutes before. But now they ghost over your skin with a kind of novelty, and your own lips part in silent pleasure, head lolling to allow him greater access.
âLie back.â
Without hesitation (but perhaps a bit sluggishly in your stupor) you obey, sliding down until youâre propped up only by pillows once more. Spencer takes his place propped above you once more, thighs slotted with yours as he quickly picks up where he left off.Â
The sweet kisses are perfect and feel so much better than youâd ever thought to notice beforeâbut at the same time your core aches and thereâs that pressure building again thatâs starting to get to you.Â
âSpencer,â you try, and it comes out hoarse but you donât care at all. âMore.â
âYou want me to leave marks?âÂ
And the offer is so tempting youâll wait a few more minutes to ask for what you really need, nodding semi-frantically and âmhmâ-ing desperately.Â
As he gently latches onto a spot that will require concealer later but feels fantastic for now, one of his hands slips down your side, just barely letting his nails skim, and your back actually arches. Itâs a shocking amount of stimulation for being nowhere near any sexual hotspots. That tiny caught breath dissolves as his fingers continue down just as lightly over your hip and thigh. Your muscles tense as you chase and run away from the feeling. Itâs ridiculous.
Thereâs no point in trying to keep your eyes open nowâthey grow heavy and you let them fall shut as he sucks another love bite to your throat.Â
âFeels good, doesnât it? Itâs kind of weird.â He says, voicing your thoughts as he eventually decides the mark will be sufficiently dark.Â
âYeah,â you agree, lacking all eloquence as he caresses every sensitive place you didnât know you had and your hips writhe minutely in a little desperate dance of your own creation.Â
âMost people arenât aware of the potential of the erogenous zones that arenât actual sex organs. They donât pay attention to them. You know what else is an interesting function of erotic stimulation to areas that arenât directly involved in reproduction?â
âHm,â you hum as his hand skims to your back. You lean into it and he promptly undoes your bra with a single handâa skill youâre not even sure you have.Â
âIt releases not quite as much oxytocin as an orgasm but more than sexual pleasure alone. So youâre less tense before sex than you usually would be, and youâre primed to build more trust and feel more connected with your partner during.â
God, heâs a nerd. And itâs so, so hot.Â
You roll over on your back again and look up at him through half-lidded eyes. The corner of his mouth flickers as he takes in your expression, before trailing downward, following the path his fingertips make over your skin as they tug the straps over your shoulders. Trying to stop him, to be shy, would be a pointless venture. Heâs seen you like this and you want him to see you again.Â
A shaky exhale of his own brings a little smile to your face as he pulls your bra away and observes the newly bared skin with a hunger that you can feel.Â
âI missed you,â he murmurs, eyes cast pointedly down and thumb brushing over the side of your right breast.Â
âYou mentioned.â
âIâm not allowed to say it again?â He teases, leaning down to kiss you soft. Your lips curve against his.Â
âYou can say it as many times as you want.â
Spencer hums, finally thumbing over your breastâs sensitive peak. It sends a chill down your back and seeing as youâre already worked up to the point of near insanity, the pleasure from such a simple touch is much stronger than it would be otherwise.Â
âGood. Because I missed you a lot.â
After that, he doesnât waste much timeâonly toying with your flesh for another minute as he kisses you before his hand is skimming down your abdomen and dipping below the waistband of your underwear.Â
âPlease,â you whisper, tilting your hips toward him when he doesnât move to touch you anymore.Â
âPlease what?â
âSpencer, donât.â
He smiles at this, pressing another kiss to the corner of your mouth as his hand travels lower. Fingers slip between wet folds and he begins making the lightest of circles over your clit.Â
âYouâve probably been waiting long enough, huh? I should be nicer.â
Your answer is a breathy almost-whine as you seek more friction against his hand.Â
âYeah.â
âYeah,â he agrees, pressing down harder. The sensation sends sparks down to your toes and you attempt to clamp your legs shut around his wrist. âThese need to stay open,â Spencer chuckles, âor else I canât help you.â
âSorry.â
âDonât apologize.â The words are a sweet sing-song against your cheek as he kisses you there, before hooking his fingers into the fabric of your underwear and pulling down. You try to help wiggle out of them as best you can, gasping when he tosses them away and immediately returns his hand between your legs. He dips his head down, tongue lathing over your breast, and teases you with the tip of one finger circling around your entrance.Â
âI needââ
âShh. Let me worry about it.â
With that, heâs dipping his ring and middle fingers just barely inside of you to the first knuckle, then back out, before pushing a bit deeper, and repeating the cycle until theyâre as far as theyâll go. When he slowly starts fucking you with them, still mouthing sweetly at your breast, youâre ready to melt.Â
The room is quiet except for your breathy mewls, the lewd, wet sound of his fingers inside of you, and the blood rushing in your ears. Soon your breast pops from between his lips and he finds somewhere else to leave his mark. Spencer is turning you into a work of art, with his fingers, with his mouth. You donât mind at all. Youâd let him sign his name, if he couldâbut you doubt heâd let you get his name tattooed.Â
Soon you stop fighting the perpetual tug of your lids down and let them flutter shut, loosing a freer moan as he brushes over that sweet spot inside you. Even when heâd told you how to find it over the phone, it wasnât the same. It wasnât like thisâmaddening enough to have your hips twisting again and that hot bed of coals in your tummy sparking.Â
âSpencer,â you warn, leg twitching as he stokes the fire beyond the point where you can passively enjoy it. Either heâs got to slow down or heâs got to let you burn all the way up. You practically jump when you feel his tongue flick over your clitâyou hadnât even been aware of his shifting positions. Maybe youâre more out of it than youâd previously thought. Your eyes shoot open and he does it again. âOh, fuck.â
The words are simple, quiet, and apparently thatâs not enough. Before you can even process the sensation of the tip of his tongue on you heâs latching onto your clit, suckling in a way that has your vision momentarily going out. You cry out and kick involuntarily, hips jumping up, but he captures your leg and presses you down into the mattress so no matter how much you squirm and squeak you canât get away.Â
âFuckfuckfuck, Spencer I waâahâsnât readyâoh my god.â
He remembers his fingers deep inside you and begins rutting them and you hiss, inhaling sharply through your teeth before letting it all out in a tremulous moan. The orgasm is building up so quickly it almost feels like an attack on your poor body as you try to process it all to no avail. Every sound you make is a vulnerable mess of pleasure and pain, a clear fear of surrendering to something inevitable. Of course, it doesnât really hurt at all. As usual, heâs blindsided you. Found you unprepared. You rake your fingers through Spencerâs hair, continuing on with your shaky moans that sound half-worried.Â
âOh, please.â Really, youâre just pleading to be put out of your misery. Itâs in moments like this, as the black is creeping in around the edges of your vision and your thoughts become threads in the tangle of an existence knotting in on itself with no discernible end or beginning in your mind until everything is completely abstract, that youâre reminded why the French refer to orgasm as the little death. Â
Your fingers lace tight enough in the wilds of his hair to pull, and he groans against you, and those vibrations are your undoing. You succumb to the dark momentarily but he continues a loving assault of gentle kisses to your clitâcareful enough so as to be inoffensive even after the euphoria abates and youâre hypersensitive, still relishing soft strands of hair between your knuckles.Â
Youâre breathing hard as you blink your vision back, looking down at him as he looks up at you from his place between your legs and rubs the top of your thigh.
âI wasnât ready,â you pant, lips flashing into a tired smile that doesnât hold a candle to his own livelier one.Â
âTook it like a champ.â
If you werenât already so warm his sarcastic comment would inspire more heat in the apples of your cheeks.Â
âDr. Spencer Reid using sports idioms?â You smile as he climbs back up your body.Â
âItâs unreasonably sexy that you said idiom and not simile.â He kisses you, grin mirroring yours, and you donât complain about the slick still on his lips. âAnd look at that. Not afraid to kiss me when I taste like you anymore.â
âI remember what you said,â you whisper, eyes bouncing between his, glowing amber pools in the low light. The words echo in your head from the first time heâd gone down on you and youâd been hesitant to taste yourself.Â
One day, Iâll make you come just like that again, and then Iâm going to fuck you, and youâre really going to want me to kiss you then, angel.
âSo do I,â he points out needlessly. âEerily prophetic, hm?â
âI think you just like going down on me,â you laugh.Â
Without the light on, his smile is just as brilliant as usual. Â
âYou might be right about that.â
Another interlude of quiet begins, but you donât mind it. Taking this slow, as desperate as youâve been for it, feels nice. Easy. Waves of burning need ebb and flow, but for now, it feels nice to be bathed in his candlelight gaze, know youâre loved, and nothing else.Â
âWhat next?â You whisper after a long moment, lifting your hand to trace the line of his jaw. He leans into it slightly, lips brushing your palm.Â
âThatâs up to you, angel. Whatâs going to make you feel most comfortable?âÂ
Your bottom lip rolls between your teeth as you think and he tracks the movement, corner of his mouth twitching fondly.Â
âIt might help if you werenât fully clothed.â
âI think we could probably do something about that.â
He pecks the tip of your nose playfully and then heâs pushing off the bed. Your brow wrinkles as you follow suit only partially, sitting up with your legs folded under you and pulling the sheets over your body to combat the chill and the vulnerability of being completely naked.Â
âOh, my god. You had your shoes on that whole time?â
âI got distracted,â Spencer defends, almost tripping over himself in his hurry to slip the loafers off.Â
You clutch the sheet to your chest, watching the adorable way he pushes his hair out of his face as he rushes. Heâs so clearly excitedâit shows in the flush of his cheek and his even worse than usual coordination.Â
âBut on my bed?â
âIâm sorry,â he says without seeming very apologetic, leaning down to catch your chin between his thumb and forefinger and pressing his lips to yours. âIâll pay to have your comforter dry cleaned. Iâll buy you a new one. I donât care.â
âHow chivalrous.â
âIÂ am,â he insists against your lips, shaped by what is surely a boyish smirk.Â
Unsurprisingly, you get lost in the kiss, dropping the sheet to hang onto his shoulders. Spencer takes advantage of the once-more revealed skin, rubbing your thigh with slow passes in a way that has you all lit up again already. It doesnât help that his tie is skimming right over the recess between your folded thighs as he leans over your seated form, kissing you deeper as the moments pass.Â
âYouâre distracting me now,â you scold, but your voice is quiet and smiley as your noses brush.Â
âDo you want to help me with my clothes?â
You nod, heart hatching like a cocoon and already slipping a finger into the knot of his tie so you can tug perhaps not gently enough. He chuckles, bracing himself with his fists on either side of your lap as you pull and yank until the fabric comes loose and you slip it from around his neck, flinging it blindly for dramatic effect. Then he slowly draws back to his full height, until youâre about eye-level with his chest. His gaze fixes on you, feverish and intent as he finds the buckle of his belt without looking. The slide of leather on leather, the jingle of the metal has the hairs on the back of your neck rising and you fight a chill as he pins you with his stareâfeeling rather powerless as he towers over you, still essentially fully clothed while youâre completely naked.Â
You probably shouldnât be as thrilled by it as you are.Â
Spencer tosses the belt on the floor and watches on, utterly charmed as you rise to your knees. His hands find your waist, steadying you as you begin unbuttoning his shirt with slow, careful fingers.Â
âSee?â You murmur bashfully. âHelping.â
His voice is equally as soft.Â
âVery helpful. Thank you.â
The tension in the quiet room gets to be too much and you have to focus hard on the task at hand, failing to bite back a twisty smile. For once, he keeps his stupid perfect mouth shut and lets you push the fabric of his open shirt from his shoulders in humid silence.Â
Your fingers skate down his torso and you watch the muscles tense. You wonder if he notices the way he pulls you slightly closer or if itâs subconscious as you both track the path of your hands.Â
âYour button is on the wrong side,â you note, voice wavering slightly, once your fingers stall at the waistband of his pants.
Spencer chuckles. You feel silly.Â
âMen and womenâs clothing tend to have the buttons on different sides, if thatâs what you mean.â
âOh.â A beat of silence, before the words come pouring out. âIâm sorry, I donât know why I said that. Iâm still a little bit nervous, I think.â
âThatâs okay,â Spencer assures you, hands gliding up and down the soft lines of your waist. âItâs okay that youâre nervous. But Iâm going to take really good care of you, okay?â
You nod, not looking away from the exposed skin of his torso.Â
âAnd if at any point you need to take a break or stop, youâll tell me.â
âI will, but⊠I donât need to stop right now.â
âThen you can go as slow as you want.â
You swallow and take a moment to gather yourself before continuing on undoing his pants. With his assistance, you pull them down, and with them his boxers tug an inch or two lower, exposing a subtle v-shape before it disappears beneath the waistband. The fabric is obviously tented. A ball of nervous anticipation spins faster in your stomach, drawing all the heat in your body down between your legs. Heâs pretty everywhere. Youâd nearly forgotten.Â
Spencerâs stomach tenses under your light touch as you drag your fingers down, down, just to the waistband. Itâs then that you look up at him for permission to continue, and find his eyes already on you, heated and intense.Â
âGo ahead, honey.â
Again you find yourself quite excited to touch him, but you start cautiously, simply letting your hand fall over the shape of him through the fabric. Even that has his chest rising and falling at a slightly quickened rate, and one of his hands finds your unoccupied one, twining them together. That small gesture inspires you to bolden your explorations, becoming more insistent in the way you palm at him. He feels big, which is a concern of yours. But you try not to let that intimidate you. Â
Already heâs quite hard, you suspect from going down on you earlier (which is flattering as much as it embarrasses you) and your fingers graze a small wet patch of fabric. You fixate on the shaky little breath he releases as you push down his boxers with new fervor, and his cock springs up.Â
Heâs still perfect.Â
You smear beads of precum down his tip, and he sighs, letting his head fall against yours as you both watch. A few coquettish pumps and heâs humming, kissing your face and dragging his lips down your neck where he makes a home for himself. Apparently the sight of your hand wrapped around him had been too much to bear.Â
âSo good. Missed this.â
âItâs just my hand,â you whisper, a little insecure that heâs maybe playing it up for your benefit.Â
âItâs you.â
His voice is so breathy, you sort of have to believe him.Â
âCan IâŠ?â
Too nervous to voice what you really mean, you trail off, but it apparently doesnât matter to Spencer. He lifts his head like heâs in a stupor but youâve said something urgent.Â
âAnything you want. You can do whatever you want.â
âOkay. UmâŠâ
You let go of his hand (and his dick). Spencer automatically rotates to accommodate you as you end up on your knees on the wooden floor in front of him.Â
âThis is what you want?â He breathes, already pushing his fingers through your hair and gathering it back as you look up at him and nod.Â
Very quickly you have him back in your hand, trying to remember what you learned from the few times youâve done this. You start perhaps a bit softer, less eager to prove yourself than you have in the pastâsimply dragging him over your tongue before enveloping his tip in your mouth, and releasing with a pop. Despite being overtly, explicitly, and undeniably sexual, thereâs something almost chaste about the way you handle him. Itâs a (dirty) expression of love, and you think he understands that as he rubs at your cheek affectionately.Â
Eventually, however, you get too excited, and you take him into your mouth in earnest, bobbing your head slowly and seeing how much of him you can take without gagging.Â
Spencer makes the prettiest noisesâtheyâre breathy, and not ostentatious, but heâs got such a nice speaking voice itâs like his gasps are bars in a song. You whine around him, wriggling your hips in a rather pathetic display, and then all too quickly heâs tugging your hair so you canât keep him in your mouth.Â
âWhat?â You ask, closer to pouting than youâd care to admit and voice slightly hoarse. âYou said I could do anything I want.â
âNot if youâre that good at it. Come here.â
He helps you up and catches you in a deep, messy kiss before youâve fully regained your footing, swaying against him, but he holds you fast, pulling away slow like strings of honey trail between your mouths.Â
Spencerâs eyes are fixed on yours, lips parted in a sort of wonder before he glances down to your own mouth, wiping the shine from your bottom lip. Any moment youâre expecting him to say something, to tell you youâre beautiful or perfect or that heâs in love with youâbut instead he just meets your eyes again, that same wonder-struck look on his pretty face. A tiny, breathy laugh forces itself from his chest like youâre a genuine miracle.Â
You feel so observedâseen in a way youâve never been seen, looked at closer than anyone has ever looked at you before. And he still looks at you like youâre the human embodiment of love, the closest mortal manifestation of the divine, Galatea come down from her marble pedestal. The way he looks at you has your heart pounding and your breathing hastened. Adoration has never been something so physical, so tangible, ever before in your life. Your blood hums at the frequency of his electromagnetic fieldâan energetic aura that surrounds each person and can be detected from several feet away, as heâd explained it to you. It originates from the heart and if you spend enough time close to  someone, syncs up the beating of your most vital organ with theirs until itâs a perfect match. Maybe thatâs why, almost as quickly as your heart had begun to pound, it slows again, and you feel any reservation flush from your body like a fever.Â
âOkay,â you breathe, cataloguing every angle and curve of his face to store with all the rest, all the moments that feel important. Of course, youâll never remember them like he does yours. But youâll be damned if you donât try your hardest.Â
âOkay?â Spencer asks. He understands the confirmation for what it is, and searches for signs of hesitation on your face while rubbing reassuring circles into your hip. You nod resolutely.Â
As he lays you down on your bed, it feels like youâre entering some kind of altered state. Everything is muted and glowing with a watercolor aura in the dark and you really only care about the man on top of you and the way moonlight dances on his skin and the way he smells like smoky amber and rain. He makes sure the pillows are fluffed under you, before sweeping your hair from beneath your shoulders into a corona around your head. All the while his eyes are so soft on you, just like his hands, and his lips when he leans down to touch them to yours.Â
One of said hands finds its way to your jaw, trailing down over your neck and collarbone, before settling over your breast where he swipes a thumb over your nipple, lightly, slowly, several times.Â
Once again youâre struck with the odd feeling, even with his hand on you like this, that the situation isnât sexual in the way youâd anticipated. Itâs not pornographic, or even very dirty. Everything Spencer does, even as his hand sneaks down between your legs, he does because he loves you.Â
âOne more like this,â he mutters against your jaw after a moment.Â
âWhy?â
Your impatience yields a smile you can only feel against your skin.Â
âJust want you relaxed and feeling good. Thatâs all.â
When you assent, his fingers are already slowly pushing inside you.Â
It seems youâve entered some sort of time warp as well, because you reach a gentle peak in what feels like record time, aided by his easy murmurings and saccharine praise.
âPerfect. That was perfect,â Spencer says with a kiss to your shoulder as he slides his fingers from you and you feel yourself literally dripping onto the sheets. âCan I ask you something before we get carried away?â
âMhm,â you hum, sweet and compliant as pleasure dulls your inhibitions for the second time tonight and your head lolls into the pillows.Â
âBaby,â he croons, voice soft as worn paper as your lids flutter and lashes brush febrile cheeks, thumbing over the heated skin. âNeed you a little more alert, sweet girl.â
ââMÂ trying,â you whine, though itâs half self-effacing laugh. Spencer chuckles too as you shake your head and take a deep breath, trying to reinvigorate yourself. âOkay. Go.â
âWell⊠we donât have any protection.â Before you can groan, loudly, he hurries on. âAnd thatâs⊠Iâm okay with that, if itâs what you still want. I trust you. But there will come⊠a moment of reckoning. And I need to know where I should⊠reckon. So you donât end up surprised.â
Now youâre really laughingâa giggly mess beneath him as your arms loop over his shoulders.Â
âStop it,â he whines, pressing his nose to your cheek as you turn your head in an effort to not snort at your boyfriend to his face. âThat was for your benefit, you know. You get squeamish.â
âIâm sorry, I just canât take you seriously when you refer to it as reckoning.â
âFine. Iâll rephrase. When I come, you essentially have two options. Inside, or on your stomach. Tell me where you want it.â
Your breath catches and your stomach does that tripping-over-itself thing again.Â
âUmâŠâ
Another fond half laugh, at your expense, is pressed against your skin. Itâs enough to prompt you into answeringâhe doesnât have to say anything to make his point about your being squeamish.Â
âInside,â you mutter, shy as you attempt to bring him closer so he wonât be able to look at you quite so closely. You wonder if heâs remembering the conversation youâd had over the phone last weekâbefore heâd accidentally kind of broken up with youâabout this very subject. You certainly are.Â
âOkay. I want you to have everything that you want.â A few kisses to your neck later, between nips, he speaks again. âJust need to hear that you want this one more time.â
âI want this,â you repeat, obedient and honest, plain and simple. âNow, please.â
Spencer responds by first kissing you, firm and loving. It soothes you, and he punctuates it with a kiss to your cheek, before heâs reaching down and guiding himself between your legs. You feel surprisingly calm, more overcome with love and the light pleasure rolling down your back as he drags himself over your clit than you are by nerves. Still, you pointedly hold his gaze, not looking down in case you psych yourself out. He slots himself in place, tip resting against your entrance.Â
âRemember, if you need to stop at any pointââ
âI remember,â you cut him off hurriedly.Â
Okay. So perhaps youâre still slightly nervous.Â
He watches you, sympathetic though youâre not sure what for.Â
âI need you as relaxed as possible, okay? I want this to be easy on you.â
You take a moment, scanning your whole body for tense muscles. When you feel sufficiently relaxed, you offer Spencer a small nod, and at that, he begins pushing into you ever so slightly.Â
At first, it just feels foreign. Heâs going so slowly, so carefully, youâre not sure heâs moving at allâuntil he finds resistance and the odd full feeling changes to a hint of burning stretch. Your hips jump and your breath catches, and Spencer stops immediately, relieving the pressure with a tiny shift in position.Â
âItâs gonna hurt,â you realize, eyes darting between his like he might be able to tell you otherwise. Youâd always been aware of the possibility, but you were holding out hope that youâd be one of those people who didnât experience any pain their first time.Â
âJust for a minute. Then itâll feel good, angel.â
You swallow and nod. At the end of the day, you trust him completely. You trust him enough to let him hurt you.Â
âSuper deep breaths for me.â
He watches intently as you follow his directions, taking several deep breaths in succession, before he begins pushing into you once more. The pressure builds and builds until he pushes past that point of resistance, and itâs like heâs breaking you in two.Â
âAh,â you gasp, abs twisting as your body tries to escape the sensation without any input from you.Â
âI know. I know, baby, that was the hardest part. Breathe.â
He drops his thumb to your clit, rubbing circles with light pressure to distract from the pain.
You nod, lips pressed together tight as the deep ache muddles your brain. Itâs an insistent pressure against something does not seem to want to budge. It burns and stretches and is laced with sour, flirtatious pleasure so that you can hardly tell what it is youâre feeling. Mostly, youâre dizzy and hot.
âRelax, just like that,â he strains, looking down. âMy good girl. Weâre almost there, baby.â
Cries spill unbidden from your mouth and your eyes shut as he continues to open you up deeper, until finally, finally, his hips settle into the cradle of yours.Â
Spencer sighs a curse under his breath, so quiet you donât think it was meant for you.Â
Heâs inside of you. Itâs bizarre.Â
You whimper, and he snaps out of whatever revery heâd been in.Â
âYou okay? How does that feel?â
You take a shuddering breath, closing your eyes and trying to clear your head to no availâyour thoughts are like TV static.Â
âIâm good. I need⊠I need a minute.â
âYou can have as much time as you need. Itâs a lot, huh?â
âYeah,â you admit, voice small and weak.Â
âI bet,â he agrees, peppering soft kisses all over your face. âBut youâre doing so well. Proud of you, brave girl. Youâre doing so well and weâre gonna make sure it feels good soon, okay? Whenever youâre ready.â
âWill you please kiss me again?â you whisper, and Spencerâs brow knits with concern.Â
âOf course, angel. Of course Iâll kiss you,â he says, and makes good on his promise with his lips on yours. It sweetens the ache. âIâll do whatever you want. You can have anything. Youâre so perfect.â
He kisses you again, just as lovingly, and soft, like youâre delicate. All the praise is only contributing to your lightheadedness, but you donât mind at all. It feels good.Â
âYou can⊠you can move.â
âOkay. Weâll go really slow, yeah?â
He waits for your nod before his hips are pulling back and you arch at the odd sensation. When he pushes back in, eyes carefully locked on yours the whole time, you keen slightly, frowning and brain shorting out as it tries and fails to process this new feeling.Â
âUh-huh. Youâre okay, I promise.â
At first it doesnât feel good. It mostly hurts. But slowly, the pain begins to abate as you acclimate to having him inside of you, and heâs careful the whole time.Â
âSpence?âÂ
âHm?â
He sounds concentrated on the task at handâyouâre entranced by the sight of him above you, the parted lips, the unkempt hair over the brow furrowed in pleasure and focus. But heâs never too busy for you.Â
âDoes it⊠umââ you pause to hold back a whineââwhat does it feel like for you?â
At this, he slows even further and chucklesâitâs a strained, slightly breathy sound.Â
âFor me?â
âMhm.â
âYou feel perfect, baby. You feel so fucking good.â
The slight fry in Spencerâs voice as he curses, which is a rare event in and of itself, flips your stomach, turns you on immensely. The idea that youâre giving him pleasure tooâitâs almost overwhelming. Thatâs when it starts feeling good.Â
âOhââ you squeak, jaw dropping and bucking your hips inadvertently as the first bolt of true pleasure shocks deep in your core. He hums.Â
âYeah, is that it, sweet girl?â
But you canât answer for a long moment. Your brain is melting as your legs lock around him.Â
âMmâitâsâit feelsâŠâ
âI know it does,â Spencer murmurs.
You whine and press your face into the curve of his shoulder as each thrust gently rocks your body. As the pace picks up bit by bit, you feel yourself clenching hard around him. His hips stutter and he hisses.Â
âAh. Canât do that, lovely.â
âWhat? Did I hurt you?â
He laughs breathily.Â
âNo, you didnât hurt me. You almost pushed me out. You have to relax.â
âSorry,â you whisper. ââM trying.â
âYou donât need to be sorry. I know youâre trying, baby, youâre being so good for me.â
Your nails skim his backâa small expression of a much larger desperation. Once heâs sure youâre relaxed around him, begins going faster.Â
Your gasps and soft moans come more often now as he finds a steady rhythm and it feels so different when heâs actually fucking you. It feels like heâs everywhere. Every time your hips meet you feel the sweet shock of it in your teeth, your toes, the back of your neck. In the best way, you feel consumed by him. Itâs not at all like youâd imagined, and itâs perfect.Â
âWait, Spencer,â you breathe, struggling to form the words. Immediately he stops again, lifting his head from your shoulder to examine your face.Â
âWhat is it?â
He sounds just as wrecked as you feel, panting and strained and it feels good to hear.Â
âI wanna watch.â
For a moment his eyes dart between yours like heâs trying to determine what you really meanâbut you said exactly what you meant. Then he laughs, a huff of air from his nose as he presses his head to yours and gives you a quick kiss.
Your toes curl as he readjusts his position, holding himself a little higher and resting your heads together so you can both look between your bodies.Â
âThere,â he murmurs as he slowly begins to withdraw again. âLike that?â
But you canât answer, because youâre too busy whimpering at the sight of him pushing into you. The feeling seems to increase tenfold as you watch it happen. Distantly you wonder how the fuck it fits.Â
âYeah,â you whisper. âLike that.â
Spencer takes this as a blessing to find a pace again, slower now as he seems to be just as enthralled by the sight as you are.Â
âGive me your leg,â he rasps after a few moments like that, and you donât know what he means exactly but you lift your right leg slightly only for him to press his hand to the back of your knee and push toward your chest, effectively opening you up and giving him more range of motion. It also enables him to fuck you even deeper. Again he slows, apparently savoring the feel of you yielding around him all the way down to the hilt.Â
Black spots dance in your eyes as he settles at your deepest pointânot pain, necessarily, just overwhelming sensation. Your jaw drops and you choke out a moan as he presses into recesses you didnât know you had, as he shows you a part that you might have gone the rest of your life without knowing existed. He stops there, like that. Everything stops there, like that. If the cars on the road below ceased to drive, if the airplanes froze in the sky, youâd not be the least bit surprised. Somehow, youâve unlocked a small eternity. Thereâs no sound but your joint heavy breathing and your heart pounding in your ears. The words just come bubbling up out of you in a little whine.Â
âI love you.â
Spencerâs breath pauses for a moment before heâs letting it all out at once, brushing his lips up the ridge of your nose before they settle on your forehead in what seems like a permanent kiss. A few breaths in, you allow your eyes to flutter shut. Your heart rate slows down a touch, and you settle into the moment, never having been quite so content as you are like thisânever having felt quite so adored and safe.Â
âI love you,â he finally echoes, voice rasping, lips still pressed to your skin, still breathing against your hair. When he starts to move again, drawing back ever so slowly, you hiss softly. He raises his head from yours, and you look away from where heâs pulling out, meeting his eyes just in time for him to push back in, just as deep. They shine in the mostly-dark room and you moan unabashedly. Itâs a high-pitched, sweet thing, nothing that will have the neighbors complainingâbut so clearly true, from the depths of your soul, an expression of everything youâre feelingânot just the pleasure.Â
Although thatâs good, too, as Spencer shapes you to him again and again, the head of his cock kissing places nobodyâs ever been and places you hope nobody else will ever venture to. This is all you need. Him.Â
âJesus,â Spencer groans, eyes fixed on your face as he fucks you slowly. But you canât bring yourself to talk, too new to this kind of pleasure to find it anything other than mind-boggling and world altering. Your lips are still parted, allowing each sound to pass without filter. âListen to you, beautiful.â
When he stops again, just to look down and marvel at you, youâre conflicted. On the one hand, you can taste the pleasure on the back of your tongue and he keeps taking it away when itâs so close. But on the otherâyouâre just as overwhelmed as he said youâd be. Your body has never had to process this kind of sensory information before, and youâre exhausted, but itâs so good.Â
âSpencer,â you manage. He looks up, pupils blown and eyes lidded where theyâd normally be wide. âPlease donât stop.â
He swallows, spurred into action again as soon as you say it.Â
âGood?â
You nod and whine again as he picks up the pace bit by bit, remembering to push your leg back once more so he can get as deep as you need him.Â
âSo good,â you exhale at the top pitch of your voice. Your brows pinch and you release a fuller moan as Spencer finds a speed thatâs fast enough to constantly feel good no matter where he is. Youâre gasping for breath, back archingâand he finds a new angle, catching against the spot inside you that renders all those years of human evolution that gave you sentience and intelligence a waste. He chuckles airily at your series of series of affronted moans and halted gasps.Â
âRight there? That's a good spot, isnât it?â
âOh, goâfuck, fuck!â
It feels so good it almost hurts, and your eyes are stinging to prove it. Your legs clamp tighter around him and you realize thereâs a very lewd wet sound and you canât believe thatâs you.Â
âSpencer, youâreâoh my god, I love you,â you whine, and it sounds like youâre pleading for your life. At this makes his own sound of pleasure, and hastens his messy circles on your clit as if in reward.Â
But itâs too much all combined.Â
Your hand claps to your mouth to obscure the loud, licentious moan that comes outâbut Spencer immediately moves his hand from between your legs to grab your wrist and pin it gently to the bed, intertwining your fingers.Â
âDonât do that. Let me hear.â
You nod, and he lets go of your hand to return his fingers to your clit. If possible you get wetter around his cockâyou can feel yourself gushing.Â
âFuck, Iâm gonna cum,â you whine as if pained.Â
âYeah? Gonna finally let me feel you cumming, angel?â
He has a filthy mouth when he wants to. The words hit like high voltage to your core and the very pit of your stomach. You canât even respond beyond a desperate sob.Â
âShow me, baby. Iâm right here. Let go.â
You cum around his cock with a broken cry and itâs like a purge of every drop of angst youâd felt over the past week or soâhell, itâs a purge of all the insecurities that had bubbled to the surface since you started dating him. None of it matters anymore. How could it matter when you have him? When you have this?
The orgasm washes you out like a tidal wave, taking everything with it. Itâs strong, and itâs so good, so intense, your body is overwrought with sensation and itâs too much even though itâs perfect. Your brain is drawing a blank as it tries to react to the feeling, and itâs like every button on the damn panel has been hit.Â
âFuck, Iâm close,â Spencer grits, and you feel it in the way he adjusts his position, shifting as he grips at the edge of the mattress for leverage and the thrusts become messier, needier. You gasp as his other hand tangles in your hair, turning your head to ghost your lips over his forearm. Itâs not entirely surprising when his own lips find your shoulderâbut the feeling of him finding his release just as his teeth sink into your skin does come as quite a shock. It doesnât hurt, and youâre sure thereâs no skin broken, but itâs an undeniable fact that he has grounded himself in the throes of passion by biting down on you.
Inside you, he feels hot. Searing, almost, as his spend tries to fill space that doesnât exist. There is absolutely no room for anything else inside of you. Stars dance in your eyes at the overstimulation, but long after heâs finished heâs still fucking into youâalbeit much slower and with far less technique. Spencer moans like a two bit whore, like heâs reached pain to a point of ecstasy, and to you itâs as good, as special as the singing of the planets. If heâs as sensitive as you are now, itâs no small feat for him to keep going on like this. Itâs a testament to how much he doesnât want it to be over. The pleasure is carrying him away, but youâre beginning to feel how soft you must be and how if he continues on like this you may bruise like an overripe peach.Â
âSpencer,â you manage, skating your hand up and down his back in what you hope are soothing lines. âBaby.â
He whines as his lips detach from your shoulder, but his hips finally slow to a stop, nestled inside you.Â
âJesus, fuck, I'm sorry,â he breathes, opting now to bury his face in your neck (with significantly less biting this time).
Youâre still reeling, toes still curled, still struggling to breathe as your head spins and spins and spins. His chest pushes against yours with every heaving breath, hot and heavy on your skin, and thatâs the only sign heâs still alive until his hand eventually reanimates in your hair, scratching your head tenderly.Â
For a span of minutes, you stay like thatâsilent, twined together like caducean serpents. His weight on top of you is perfect. This, the lack of differentiation between your body and his, is perfect. You donât know where he ends and you begin and you donât need to. Itâs a blissful moment.Â
âHey.â
Spencerâs voice is hoarse when he finally speaks, lifting his head to look at you with flushed cheeks and messy hair and sparkly eyes.Â
âHi.â
He smiles.Â
âYouâre so pretty.â
âYou too,â you murmur, moving your hand from his back and pressing your thumb into the hollow of his cheek. His eyes map the curves of your face as he pushes your surely askew hair back.Â
âHow do you feel?â
It takes you a moment to seriously consider his question, scanning your body for any undue pains, but for the moment, you find none, beyond a dull aching throb that you can manage.Â
âGood. Tired.â
You wince at the uncomfortable feeling of him pulling out. Spencer hums sympathetically and presses a sticky kiss to your lips which makes it a little better, though you canât ignore how uncomfortable all the previously pleasant wetness has become between your legs.Â
âHereâstay here, Iâll get a wash cloth andââ
âItâs fine,â you insist, holding on even as he tries to roll off of you. âI just need⊠will you stay here for a little bit?â
âOf course,â he promises, now pressed close to your side and propped up on an elbow, âwhatever you want.â
You lavish in his gaze, warm like a spotlight, as he strokes your cheek and plays with your hair. Very quickly youâre lulled into a doze, eyes fluttering shut. Minutes stretch. You feel drunk on waking dreams, and perfectly at peace. Safe.Â
âAngel girl,â he christens you fondly. More than anything, itâs an observation, so lovely it sinks into your skin like a balm, soothing every tired muscle and little mark heâd made. Even half-asleep, it makes you smile.Â
âYouâre an angel,â you slur, reaching blindly for him, and he chuckles, catching your wrist and helpfully settling your hand on his cheek.Â
âI thought you were asleep.â
You hum, ïżœïżœmm-mm,â looking up at him with just as much adoration as he has for you. Those cuddle hormones must be kicking in because soon youâre attempting to pull him back on top of you. He doesnât quite comply, probably for fear of crushing youârather he settles next to you, gathering you in his arms.Â
Silence blankets the two of you, but itâs not unpleasant as you just watch each other with barely-there smiles curling your mouths. This kind of intimacy still manages to give you butterflies, even after everything else youâve done. This kind of satisfaction, reverie in the sound of each otherâs blood flowing and lungs filling. Setting aside words because you donât need conversation as a pretense for wanting to be around each other anymore. You donât need an excuse to look at him like this. You donât need words any more than you need clothes. Itâs enough to just be.Â
âI love you,â he says, a soft reminder, and entirely redundant with the way heâd already been looking at you, touching you.Â
âI know. I love you too.â
The smile flickers brighter on his face.Â
âAnd thank you.â
Your eyes narrow minutely as you consider what he could possibly be thanking you for.Â
âFor what?â
âFor loving me. And trusting me. ItâsâŠâ your heart squeezes as you realizes tears are pooling in his eyes. He takes a moment and clears his throat. Itâs incredibly endearing. âIt means a lot to me. You mean a lot to me.â
You look down, thumbing at the sheets where youâve hoisted them over your bodies.Â
âYou do realize how lame we are if we have sex and both immediately start crying, right?â
At this he laughs loudly but not loud enough to pop the little bubble youâre in, and you look up just in time to catch the brilliance of his smile, the way it changes his whole face and he becomes superhuman in his beauty, the lines that form by his eyes and the way they narrow and crystalline tears bead his lashes like precious gems.Â
âDonât cry,â he requests gently, hypocritically as your own eyes sting. The way his smile fades is like the sun setting. Gorgeous, like everything else he does. âYouâve cried so much, honey. Please donât cry.â
You sniffle, gathering yourself.Â
âIâm not. That would be pathetic.â
Spender leans forward to kiss you tenderly a few more times. Ordinarily youâd worry about coming across as clingy when you hold onto him so closely and so insistently like this, but for now you donât care. Neither does he, it seems, as he seems unable to get you close enough. Eventually, you end up curled against him, head tucked under his chin and dozing on and off as he traces shapes into your skin.Â
âWhat are you writing?â You mumble some time later, cheek smushed against his shoulder. He only responds with a soft hm, like he was lost deep in thought. You clarify, âit feels like you were writing something.â
âShe Walks in Beauty.â
Your lips pull into a sleepy smile.Â
âThe Lord Byron poem?â
The first time youâd met Spencer, heâd inadvertently caused your painstakingly annotated copy of Lord Byronâs works to go flying all over a cafe, and then kindly helped clean up the pages and reorder them for you in record time. Among the poems had been She Walks in Beauty.Â
âYeah. I was trying to figure out when exactly I fell in love with you, and as someone who is deeply skeptical about love at first sight, Iâm a little embarrassed to admit that I keep coming back to our first conversation. I mean, I believe in genetic compatibility, and how that contributes to attraction and what we think of as chemistry, butââ
âWait, what about our first conversation did it?â Your cheeks ache from smiling as you speak. âAs I recall I was being a bitch and I was covered in coffee.â
He laughs dreamily, still tracing letters over the small of your back. You wonder what part of the poem heâs at now.Â
âYeah, mean to me and covered in coffee is pretty much exactly my type. But I think it was actually the annotations on that copy of Lord Byronâs works. They were so insightful, and personal, Iâit kind of took my breath away, and I know I shouldnât have read them all but I couldnât stop. You were compelling, and charming, and funny and wildly intelligent and beautiful and⊠and I didnât stand a chance.â
Everything aches. Itâs a good ache. Despite being seconds from tearing up all over again, you snort. He never told you about that first day.
âYou thought me writing âsister fuckerâ in all caps every time he mentioned Augusta was charming?â
âOh, obscenely so. But now that Iâm looking back, I feel like⊠I feel like I canât remember not being in love with you. I mean, I remember when I realized I was, and that was later. But it was like I met you, and then I was just⊠waiting for you to catch up.â
You grab his hand and interlace your fingers, watching the way the ambient nighttime light from the window and the bathroom dips them half in color.Â
âWe were pretty much on the same page. I was debating courthouse versus small intimate ceremony as soon as you left.â
You watch him watching your joined hands, features soft and relaxed, fiddling with your fingers absentmindedly as he speaks.Â
âDefinitely small intimate ceremony. I have too many friends who would kill me if they werenât invited to the wedding.â
You giggle and pretend the thought doesnât give you butterflies. You imagine a ring on your finger, the one heâs got between his own. Marriage had never been something youâd considered. Not when you had no reason to. It seemed like something for other people. But maybe one day, it will be for you, too.Â
âDid you know Lord Byron had a daughter who is regarded by many as the first computer programmer? She wrote the first algorithm for a theoretical machine that was so complex it couldnât be built with the technology available at the time. It was called an Analytical Engine.â
He sounds almost wistful as he gives you the utterly unprompted, but still welcome, abridged version of her life. The description is ringing a bellâbut you canât quite place her, sleepy as you are. Â
âWhat was her name?â
âAda Lovelace. She was exceptionally gifted. The odds of parent and child being so extraordinary in their respective fields are incalculable, but from a purely theoretical perspective, negligible. I mean, theyâre both massive historical figureheads. Thatâs extremely uncommon.â
You adore it when he goes off on these tangentsâthe passion that stains his voice, the ardor that grips him until he has no choice but to tell you exactly whatâs got him so excited. You could listen to him talk for hours. It means heâs here with you, and he wants you to love what he loves.Â
Since he met you, thatâs all Spencer has wantedâfor you to love what he loves.Â
You want the same.Â
âPretty name,â you murmur, eyes fluttering shut. âTell me more.âÂ
-
part eight
#spencer reid smut#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid#spencer reid x y/n#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds#spencer reid fic#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x fem!reader#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fanfic
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what she wants, she gets - seungcheol (+18, mdni)
WARNINGS: kind of a toxic rs, smut, tit playing, tit slapping, unprotected sex, choking, daddy!cheol, oral (f rec), reader may not be the most sensible, dom!cheol, sub!reader (f), they r so insane for each other! ceo!cheol
<3 not comfy donât read! butâŠHAPPY 400! THANK YOU SO MUCH!! hope u guys enjoy this! muah đ
extract i
âswear to god baby, open the god damn door, please!â seungcheol feels his hands burn, from the incessant knocking and pounding of your door.
you hear every grunt and curse clearlyâstanding right behind the door, clad in your pink robe, glass of wine balancing dangerously between your fingertips.
âi know youâre standing right behind the door, let me in,â seungcheol runs his hand across his locks, frustration lacing every word. âyouâre gonna regret this baby.â
âoh, thatâs rich coming from you cheol, iâm the one thatâs pissed at you right nowâsurely i wonât be regretting anything.â you finally decide to bite back.
âyou being pissed at me doesnât warrant you to fucking block your own fucking boyfriend, and what the fuck were you doing on mingyuâs story?â another bang across your poor door.
thank god seungcheol had arranged for only top quality products to be furnished throughout this apartment heâd gifted you a year ago.
âyeah wellâyou can go and cry about it to your other bitches, iâm sure someone would love to listen to you and offer you some comfortâ you faked cooedâyou were not going to let this one slide.
âbabyâwhat the fuck are you talking about? you know i donât even bat an eye at anyone elseâŠeveryone fuckinâ knows how iâm fucking obsessed with you, iâ you know it too baby!â you hear how his voice starts to strain, and you know heâs right.
ever since you both were linked, it was like an otherworldly connection that only you and him could comprehend.
soulmatesâif you must. equally bat shit crazy; crazy for each other at least. well, as what they always say, negative cancels out negative right? together, you and cheol swear nothing else could feel more right.
you came to him on a hazy friday night, and he finally had a face to the name heâs been hearing thrown around the office floors. heâd been captivated by you the minute he laid his eyes on youâin your velvet black dress, donned in silver jewelry that brought out the sparkle in your eyes.
âand, what seungcheol wants, seungcheol gets. by the end of the night, he finds himself removing your jewelry, having you writhe under him, screaming and moaning the whole night, and heâs not sure if youâve fallen for his trap, or he yours.
it mustâve been love at first sight, he always tells you.
heâs everything you ever wanted, the possessive, ever so passionate man that never takes no for an answer. he made you feel alive, made you feel like you were worth trashing the world for.
some call it insanity, but you werenât any better. which leads to why you were in your current predicamentâyou were livid.
itâs not like cheol wasnât allowed to be around the female species, just not the pretty ones. and especially not if they wear extra short skirts and extra red lips around your boyfriend.
yeah yeahâŠitâs not like he could avoid female employees, especially being a young and an extremely attractive director, next in line for the CEO position.
the new influx of female employees with the new batch of hires were something else, flocking towards your boyfriend blatantly every chance they get.
he may have just been doing his job to facilitate butâdid he have to cross the line with his overtly friendly nature? not necessary, you think.
and you loved to play the game. blocking him all over your social mediaâonly for him to lose his mind when he sees you dancing on mingyuâs instagram story at the club downtown.
you know how much he hates when you hang out with your guy friends, especially ones with a certain playful natureâmingyu.
to say he went berserk would be an understatement. you grin behind the door, the taste of satisfaction at the tip of your tongue, knowing you got him back.
âbaby, fuck, iâll get rid of all of âemâwhoever it isâfuck, theyâre gone by next weekâ and who are you if not someone that falters at such sweet words from your beauâs mouth.
that click of a door makes him sigh out a breath of relief before he immediately engulfs you in a tight embrace, stroking your hair and kissing the crown of your head.
âyouâll really fire them for me babe?â your eyes soften as they look up into his, and he swoons at how pretty your eyes are, admiring your current docile stateâwhen youâre not being batshit crazy.
he carefully removes the wine glass from you, placing on top of your black coffee table which he chose, before grabbing your cheek and pulling you in for a sloppy passionate kiss.
âanything for my baby, you are the future wife of the companyâs soon-to-be CEO after all.â he smirks, rubbing your bottom lip with his thumb.
âand what she wants, she gets,â he whispers before pulling your lips towards his before you could say anything else.
his tongue explores every crevice of your mouth, tugging your own tongue playfully and soothing out every bite he gives your lower lip.
âmy babyâyou look fuckinâ gorgeous. i can never let you stay angry at me, hmm?â he pecks your forehead.
âgonna remind you why youâre mine and iâm yours baby,â he peppers feather kisses down your jaw tenderly.
âyeah? think i need to put my little brat in place, remind her why daddy only loves her, and how daddy only has eyes for her,â he kisses down your clavicle and sucks on a hollow spot which makes your knees buckle.
âmmffhâcheolâŠ.â you know it, youâre excited for it. you love it when he reminds you how obsessed he is with you.
âwonder whatâs waiting for me underneath this pretty pink robe,â he gently tugs at the string of your little bow tied at the front.
a second later and your ribbon unravels, allowing the flimsy fabric to fall to the sides, and cheol lets out the most animalistic groan when he sees you completely bare and supple for him.
âso fucking pretty yeah?â he pushes you up against the nearest flat surface he can find, hands moving in urgency, grabbing any flesh of yours he can fit in those big hands of his.
you whine out as you feel his calloused hands squeezing your tits so hard, while his mouth gets busy along your jaw again. but those lips canât stay away from your titsâhe starts sucking and slurping all overâmarking your mounds as you pull tightly on his locks, sinful moans after moans falling from your lips.
he breaks apart from your tits and you pout.
âmy pretty girl, hands up for me.â he grabs your wrists and places them above your head and you keep them there.
âso good for me,â he sinks down and kisses all around your glistening cunt, making you squirm unconsciously. he holds on to your hips, before diving in fully, inserting that warm pink muscle deep inside your cunt you knock your head back against the wall, letting out the breathiest moan.
âpretty girl is all mine. my cunt, my tits, my girl, the prettiest.â he breathes out before he swings a leg over his shoulder and continues devouring your leaking cunt. his tongue curls up and like a deranged animal it plays with your g-spot frantically. he moans around your cunt so deeply, before he moves up and sucks your warm and swollen clit, teeth grazing every few seconds.
âcheolâtoo fast too fastâiâm gonna cum soon daddy,â you feel yourself reach your breaking point sooner tonight.
âthatâs all i want baby, cum all over my face for me. iâm all yours to cum on,â he switches between the insane speed of his tongue and hard suction of his lips and the ribbon inside you unravels before you know it.
you let out the loudest string of moans, shaking as you clench and let out all your juices all over his face and his tongue.
cheol closes his eyes and soaks in the heavenly moment he wants to last forever. he takes in everythingâyour scent, your taste and continues lapping on your cunt to suck you dry.
you whine before grabbing his locks, pushing away due to oversensitivity. he looks up at you with glistening lips, and your stomach churns at the sight, feeling a new pool of arousal forming again.
he stands up, eye to eye with you, stroking a strand of hair behind your ear. âyouâre so fucking perfect baby, no one should dare to even stand next to you.â
he leans forward, rubbing his clothed bulge against your soaked cunt. âyou feel that baby? only you can do that to me, i just need a thought of you and i go fucking insane,â he grabs your hand, guiding it to his huge bulge.
you rub teasingly above the fabric before smirking at him knowingly, âyou like me that much?â
âbaby, i love you so fucking muchâeven i canât comprehend it. swear iâll die without you,â he leans his forehead against yours, with an arm propped up on the wall beside your head.
you rub faster, enjoying the moment of cheol unraveling just by a touch from you.
âswear iâll die if you donât touch me nowâand if iâm not inside you right now baby, need you,â he breaks out in desperation and you give in, unzipping and allowing him to step out of his pants.
wasting no time, he gets rid of his boxers and goes over to the couch to sit down, tapping his thigh twice, you immediately shuffle over to sit on him, warm cunt hovering over his growing cock.
âdonât tease baby, told you i need to be inside you now,â he grabs your waist before aligning your cunt to slowly sink down his red cock thatâs bursting with veins, feeling like heâs going to explode if he doesnât feel you wrapped around him.
âf-fuuuck,â you moan out, stomach twisting at how good cheol feels when heâs fully inside you, and you start to ride him, chasing that impending high that you know is coming.
âbabyâyou feel too fucking good, sâunreal,â cheol croaks out as he grips onto your hips tighter, guiding your pace, not wanting to come in you too quickly.
his wandering hands move on to playing with your swollen tits, your nipples so puffy from earlier it drives him crazy, âso pretty, so fucking sensitive for me always, fuck,â he tugs on them, eliciting a louder whine from you.
his keeps a hand on your tits, occasionally giving it light slaps across and he salivates at the way it jiggles. another hand reaches up, wrapping around your neck which looks too clean for him.
your face contorts in an unexplainable pleasure, and he knows heâs got you at you tipping point. âcheolâdaddy, squeeze harder,â you prompt him, wanting him to push you over the edge faster.
âyeah? my little slut wants daddy to go harder? you dirty girl, my dirty girl thoughâ my pretty dirty girl,â he groans, hands squeezing tighter at the pulse points, while he strikes one tight slap across your tits and you canât stop moaning.
he canât stop singing praises for his pretty baby, and all he wants is to express how much he adores you every second.
âso close daddy so close, wanna cum wanna cum,â cheol snaps his hips up faster, while maintaining the pressure around your neck.
âgonna make you cum so hard around daddy, then pump you full of daddyâs cum afterâshow you how much daddy loves you, yeah?â he revels in the way your voice breaks at the incessant amount of moans escaping your mouth.
âgonna cumâdaddy can i cum now?â you bit down on your lips, feeling something in your lower abdomen growing and growing, threatening to spill over any minute.
âmy pretty baby always so politeâyes baby, cum for daddy now,â and you let go, seeing white as you convulse and jerk around him, crying out his name repeatedly.
his grip around your neck holds you in place, âfuuuckk thatâs it baby, let daddy see how hard he made you cum,â cheol will never get tired of watching you cumâespecially when itâs around his cock.
âgonna let daddy pump you full now baby? iâm about to cum okay baby,â he starts to snap his hips up even rougher, before releasing a hot load inside of you with a groan and you moan at the feeling as it reaches deep inside you.
âfuuuuck, thatâs it baby, take it all, take all of daddyâs cum yeahâyouâre mine baby,â he moans out, panting as the last few drops paints your walls with his essence
cheolâs heart swells at the thought of you being so full of his cumâfull of him. he thinks thereâs no other way to express that youâre fully his other than this act of claiming.
he kisses you, stroking your cheek and uttering words of affection against your lipsâand you feel that all is right with the world again.
WANTED IT TO BE LONGER THAN THIS! will be writing more of this au!! but for now,, thank you guys so much for 400 again!! canât wait to be putting out more works soon! love u guys xx đ€đ
perm taglist: @gyuguys @black-swan-blog27 @do-you-remember-summer-127
#seventeen smut#seungcheol smut#scoups smut#seungcheol#scoups#seungcheol imagines#seungcheol scenarios#seungcheol drabbles#seungcheol fic#seungcheol x reader#scoups headcanons#scoups fics#scoups x reader#seungcheol fics#seventeen drabbles#seungcheol fluff#seventeen headcanons#seungcheol x y/n#seungcheol fanfic#scoups fic#scoups fluff#scoups fanfic#scoups scenarios
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genuinely enjoy waking up super early even if its for insomnia reasons bc a) getting to watch the sun come up kinda rules and b) for most of the day I don't feel as bad as usual bc I'm too tired to feel much of anything which is a relief
#told my flatmate this over breakfast + she said thats horrible... well idk its not that bad ill take what i can get by this point#ik I can be dull + difficult to be around bc I'm an unpalatable type of mentally ill + I do feel a bit guilty abt that#like we have had conversations before abt how sometimes it does kinda suck being around ppl w mental illness like. yeah i know sorry#but im trying my best I think im doing an ok job of keeping it self contained. I dont want to make it anyone elses problem </3#sometimes the best u can try isnt quite enough. but its better than not trying at all. like at least theres some boundaries there yknow#anyway i hope she has a good day at work at least :-) im glad its friday#.diaries#gonna go read a little now I think byeee
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I ADORE your art and how well you match the ISAT artstyle. I've been being alot of studies to try replicate the style and draw characters 3d but stylised. Are there any tutorials that have helped you, studies you do, or things you keep in mind whilst drawing to make the characters look so 3d?
Oooaaahh thank you!!! This is a really good question. I say that because I feel like I "2D cheat" ISAT art a lot. It's very comfy to draw bc my normal art is like that too, with angles that shouldn't be able to exist but look right bc it's 2D so your brain forgives it. Design of the art > accuracy of the anatomy, y'kno?
The hair kind of gives it away in most cases. It's meant to be such a specific shape, it kind of stops looking like the character if it gets too 3D? But drawing it more 3D has huge utility too, especially for animation n stuff. It's just something I've noticed about the style! It's very designed for 2D. It's very "the shape of the lines" > "the shape of the 3D object"
It's helpful to remember that ISAT characters are all made up of really simple shapes. Like Siffrin's head is just a ball from nearly any angle but the side. Their body is a cylinder but one end is wider than the other. Odile's face is a ball but the bottom is long, like an oval. Isa's is a ball but his chin is square, it has soft corners. Even Bonnie's face is a ball you just add a cheek bump. Etc etc.
^Notice how i can't simplify the hat down into a consistent 3D shape bc otherwise it just. kind of. doesn't look like Siffrin's hat LOL
If you have the simple 3D shapes down then the rest of it is all 2D cheating and focussing on details! Having character refs nearby at all times especially when ur tryna figure out how to draw the character is KEY so you can keep looking at it and comparing. Try to pay attention to the little quirks of the art style that differ from yours and try to mimic them. But don't be afraid to let your style infect it a bit if it helps you to create something more dynamic looking.
It helps that i've been drawing for ages. I know 'practice' is the age old advice but here's my spin on it: just draw, keep drawing what u want no matter if it looks bad or if some professional artist tells you you're doing it wrong. So long as you keep drawing you are learning. Indulge and draw what you want so you get to keep all the motivation and keep going.
oh and PUSH YOUR POSES/EXPRESSIONS!!! By this I mean, draw it once, and then lower the opacity and draw it again on top but pushing everything a little bit further. If a pose feels stiff this tends to fix it.
uhmmm i rambled on for ages but i hoped it helped u Tea (or anyone else reading)! thank u for the excuse to draw a bunch of funny isat doodlies :D keep going you have GOT THIS!!! THERE IS NO WRONG WAY TO MAKE OR ENJOY ART! YAY
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đđđă»h.h.
â volleyball superstar and your personal hell hwang hyunjin proposes a trade-off you can't refuse: his matchmaking services for a passing anthropology grade. the plan is foolproof in theory; in practice, it is something else entirely.
wordsă»15.2k
pairingă»volleyball player!hyunjin x tutor!reader (gn)
genresă»college!au, sports!au, fake enemies to friends to lovers, fluff, humor, hurt/comfort, slice of life, mutual pining, slow burn. two polar opposites sharing one soul. a seungjin fic if u squint. loosely inspired by the manga/anime haikyuu!!
warningsă»mentions of anxiety, fear of failure, heartbreak, loneliness, and self-image. course language and callous banter (as always) ft. suggestive flirting and one kms joke. some of the referenced players and coaches are real; this fic is not.
playlistă»collision by stray kidsă»value by adoă»waiting for us by stray kidsă»eternity by bang chană»dreaming by smallpoolsă»fly high!! by burnout syndromes
a/nă»writing this felt like returning to my roots tbh. i love volleyball and i love sports aus and i love, love hwang hyunjin. thank u to my sahar for bringing this fic to life with me, as always; i can no longer write for him without also writing for you. i hope u guys enjoy reading this as much as i adored writing it. happy late birthday, our jinnie, our hyunjin, our forever ace; you are so unbelievably loved âĄ
âNot a word out of you,â you say, tossing your backpack onto the floor of the lecture hall with a heavy-handed flick. âIâm serious.â
Hyunjin glances up at you with a frown. âWhen did people stop saying good morning?â
Your lack of an immediate comeback tells him the situation is dire. He observes you for a moment, his mouth falling open, hanging still, then curving into a slow, serpentine smile.
âLook at me.â
âNo.â
âLook at me.â
âNo.â
âPlease, angel.â
âNo! Leave me alone.â
Hyunjin slumps back into his seat, thinking hard. The solution occurs to him with a poke of his tongue into his cheek. âCoffee on me for a week.â
At this, your hands stop rummaging in your bag. You cock your head, your interest piqued. Got you.Â
When you finally humor him and turn around, youâre flinching like youâre in pain, eyes closed and breath held and all. He giggles and leans in for a closer look. Tendrils of your body spray reach him from here, floral and light like a tropical coastline. He couldâve counted your eyelashes if he wasnât so flummoxed by the state of your forehead.
âWhat the hell did you do?â
âTried to cut my own bangs,â you sigh. âIt didnât go very well and now I look like Rock Lee.â
Hyunjin lets out a forceful laugh. âYouâve seen Naruto?â
You open your eyes. Only then does Hyunjin remember how little distance he left between your faces, when heâs staring straight into them and all the strange, starry speckles they hold.
The air between you curdles like sour milk.
Things are awkward between you often, heâs realized recently. Whatâs more, he didnât think he was capable of being awkward with anyone anymore until he met you. It was your ill-fated seat that he chose to sit next to on the first day of ANTH 111, your ill-fated lap onto which he chose to spill his Americano, and the rest was history (or, in this case, anthropology). His tongue ends up in sailorâs knots with every smart-aleck comment and pitiful laugh youâve given him since. Maybe thereâs more to it, maybe there isnâtâHyunjin doesnât think about it much. He doesnât like thinking in general.
You pull away from each other in unison. You clear your throat, glancing elsewhere.Â
âOf course Iâve seen Naruto,â you quip, and everything is normal again. âWhy do you seem surprised?â
âBecause youâre so scholarly.â
âI am not scholarly.â
He raises an eyebrow. âYou go to a park to play chess with old people on weekends.â
âI need to get my steps in somehow.â
âYou didnât know what Urban Dictionary was until I told you to look upââ
âGod, I learned so much about you that day."
âYour favorite social media platform is Quizlet,â he bursts, exasperated. âQuizlet.â
âIt is not.â An introspective pause. âOr is it?â
âI wouldnât be surprised.â Hyunjin throws his feet up on the chair below him, jabs in your direction with a bandaged finger. âThere is no way you enjoy watching 2D men beat each other up in your free time. I donât buy it.â
âHonestly, I thought youâd have more to say about my current appearance than my hobbies.â
He does, though. Matter of fact, heâs been curating a list since this conversation started: Vector from Despicable Me, Dora the Explorerâs hot older sibling, Spock. You face-planted into a lawnmower. You mistook a paper shredder for a hat. It goes on.
But then his head turns. Your eyes meet again. Heâs reminded that itâs hard to sustain an inner monologue and look at you at the same time, Vector resemblance and all.
He reaches up, nudges a lock of your hair over a centimeter or so, and gives the patch of forehead a gentle flick.
âWatermelon,â he mumbles with a sickening smile.
You divert your attention to your lecture notes with a disappointed click of your tongue. âYouâre getting soft.â
He spends the entire lecture daydreaming about tropical coastlines.
âI only get coffee from that one place on the east side of campus, by the way,â you say as youâre strolling out the building together, âand I get it a very specific way. Can you handle it?â
âYour faith gets me out of bed in the morning,â Hyunjin deadpans. âIâll handle it, love. Text me your order.â
All of a sudden, you position your hands close to your stomach, the lapels of your jacket casting them in shadow. Your fingers begin to move in a sequence that heâd recognize anywhere.
âBody flicker jutsu,â you whisper, and then youâre scurrying off without another wordâbut you do glance back at him to gauge his response. Your smile is purely effulgent, your laugh but a faint sigh against the main quadâs busy thrum.
Hyunjin gapes at your retreating figure for so long that phosphenes start prancing around his field of view. Then he heads to the gym. His heart is pounding against his ribs like a battering ram.
âHwang, I need you in my office.â
Hyunjin stops lacing up his shoes to see Coach Bang standing on the courtâs sideline with a grim air about him. He glances at his captain, confused.
âDonât look at me,â Minho says mid-stretch. âGodspeed.â
âThanks, cap.â Useless.
Head volleyball coach Christopher Bangâs workspace reminds Hyunjin of a morgue. Itâs all fluorescent lights and spotless white walls, the only decorative fixture a picture of his siblings, parents, and dog in front of the Sydney Opera House, framed and facing him atop his desk. Hyunjin once snuck the thing into the bathroom, an innocent plot to satiate his curiosity, and promptly discovered the manâs propensity for violence. Heâs packing beneath those dry-cleaned polos, by the way.
Hyunjin closes the door and takes a seat. Bang taps a knuckle against the tempered glass of his monitor. âYou can read, right?â
âYes, coach,â he sighs. Everyoneâs expectations for him are subterranean.
From: Park Jinyoung «[email protected]» To: Bang âChristopherâ Chan «[email protected]» Subject: Not good See email from Hwangâs antopology professor below . He submitted the complete script of the Trolls movie instead of his mid term paper and now heâs failing the class . Not good . Sort out ASAP JP Sent from my iPad
Bang snatches up his mouse and scrolls, his ears turning scarlet. âWrong email.â
âYep.â
From: Kim Kyeyoung «[email protected]» To: Park Jinyoung «[email protected]» Subject: Regarding Hwang Hyunjin To Director of Athletics Park, I am writing to inform you that, as of yesterday, Mr. Hwang Hyunjin has a D- (64.9%) in ANTH 111: Cultural Anthropology, due to his submission of the complete script of a kidsâ movie instead of his midterm paper. It is disappointing to see Mr. Hwang trivialize and ridicule my class to such a degree. Please see to it that he reorganizes his priorities lest his Student-Athlete Participation Agreement do so for him. Regards, Kim Kyeyoung Professor of Anthropology
âThatâs bullshit!â
âWeâre in agreement there.â Bang folds his arms over his chest, throws his foot over his knee. âDo you know what your Student-Athlete Participation Agreement says?â
âDoes anyone?â Hyunjin scoffs. Bang whips out a form and brings it to eye level, the thing covered from top to bottom in microscopic Times New Roman. âNo way you just had that.â
âI had it delivered ten minutes ago,â Bang confesses, then clears his throat and begins to recite. âAll student-athletes must complete the academic term with a C or higher in all courses, should they wish to continue their participation in athletics thereafter.â
Hyunjin stiffens. âWhat the fuck? Iâve never heardââ
âIf any Department of Athletics personnel,â Bang continues, raising his voice, âhave reason to believe that a student-athlete will not be able to satisfy this requirement, they are encouraged to utilize resources such as academic advising or peer tutoring in guiding said student-athlete back onto the correct path.â
He shoves the piece of paper across his desk. âRead that name aloud for me.â
Hyunjin stares at the signature at the bottom of the page, scrawled so carelessly that most of it deviates away from its designated line. There is a rare hollowness in his chest that he recognizes as anxiety. With it comes a glimpse of a life without volleyball, the question of what little of him would remain.
âHwang Hyunjin,â he says under his breath.
The office goes silent. Bang tucks the form back into his drawer. It closes with a gentle click.
Then comes the yelling.
âThe Trolls movie? Trolls?! Are you fucking with me, Hwang?â
âIt was a cultural reset! The pinnacle of modern media! Howâs that for anthropology?â
âBAD!â Bang explodes, gesturing to the email emphatically. âVERY, VERY BAD!â
Hyunjin slumps over, dejected.
âYouâve never had trouble with school before.â He leans over his desk imposingly. âWhat the hell happened this semester? What changed?â
Nothing is the first answer that comes to mind, but Hyunjinâs pulse spikes like a lie detector. Upon the inside of his eyes replays a scene of a certain someone with watermelon bangs doing teleportation jutsu at him from a few yards away, wearing a smile made of some kind of space dust that astronomists havenât discovered yet.
He grits his teeth, annoyed. This is what happens when he thinks.
âBeats me,â he fibs. âTypical junior year stress, maybe.â
âDoes any of it have to do with Piazza?âÂ
Hyunjin shudders.
It just might, actually.
Modesty has no place in the career heâs had: high school national champion turned ace hitter in both the South Korean U21 roster and regular rotation for Seoul National University, the best collegiate volleyball team in the country. His name has lived at the top of ranking lists and the center of gold medals since he turned old enough to qualify for them; the press believes him the instigant of South Koreaâs imminent volleyball revolution. Itâs a mouthful, he knows.
It was never a question that he would go professional; the question was who he should talk to and where he would go.
At the start of the school year, Bang, acting in place of the agent he was advised to find and never bothered to, gave him a list of people to reach out to. On the very top was none other than Roberto Piazza, the chairman and head coach of Allianz Milano, one of the most eminent club teams in the worldâand current home to Hyunjinâs personal idol, outside hitter Ishikawa Yuki.
Hyunjin thought his poor coach had finally succumbed to his old age. The thought of stepping onto the same court as Ishikawa felt sacrilegious, let alone donning the red, white, and navy blue of Allianz Milano with him. But Bang slapped him on the back of the neck and reminded him that going professional was equal parts preparation and opportunity; he was never going to know the answers to questions he didnât ask. Hyunjin was coerced to fire off an introductory email despite his reservations.
Piazza replied within the week.
For the last five months, Hyunjin has been fighting with tooth and nail to manage his expectations. He scrolls past the teamâs social media posts like they burn his eyes. He replies to Piazzaâs emails right before working out with Changbin under the assumption that whatever the shredded libero does to him will eviscerate his brain. If his world is made of dreams, this is the one at its very core, imbued with destructive potential the second it became attainable.
But thatâs the last five months. The last five weeks have been you kicking him in the shin because heâs laughing (or trying to make you laugh) and the professor is staring; you listening to him rant and rave about volleyball when he knows you couldnât care less about the sport; you relaying the contents of your class readings like hot gossip, your eyes wild and hands flying around because you canât contain your excitement. You, you, you.
He cards a hand through his air, regaining focus. âYou know how I feel about Piazza.â
âExpect the worst, hope for the best.â Bangâs chair skids backwards as he stands up. âI think itâs a good approach.â
Suddenly, he is directly in front of Hyunjin, low enough to meet his eyes. His hands rest upon his shoulders firmly.
âBut hope is hungry, and it will consume you if you let it,â he says. âDo not let it, Hyunjin. Iâm not asking.â
Even while being squeezed to a pulp and regarded with the cold intensity of a statue, Hyunjin canât help but feel anchored, somehow, to the floor of this miserable office. Protected.
Bang lets go of him. âIâm not asking you to find a tutor by the end of the week, either.â
Hyunjin groans. âYeah, yeah. Iâm on it.â
A set of bandaged fingers appear in your periphery to place a paper cup onto your laptop. Accompanying the smell of fresh coffee is that of smoky rose, as decidedly douchey as ever.
âI thought you said your order was complicated.â
You look up from your phone to see Hyunjin plop into the adjacent seat. His long, caramel-colored hair is damp and unstyled in the aftermath of a morning shower, droplets of water pearling on the lapels of a navy blue windbreaker, layered over a white long sleeve. You recognize the outfit by now as game gear.
âWas it not?â You ask.
âIt was an Americano, love. I walked up to the cashier and placed an order for an Americano.â
âWell, I wasnât sure if you could handle that much.â He flips you off as you squint at the cup. âSomeone wrote their number on the lid, by the way.â
âWhat? Really?â
âNo.â
He shoves you hard enough for your upper body to drape over the opposite armrest; youâre still cackling by the time youâve straightened up again.
âWhy did you get this, anyway?â Hyunjin grumbles. âI thought you had a sweet tooth.â
âI do, but you donât.â
Only then does the fool understand that you had no intention of charging him in coffee just for a haircut reveal. He takes back the coffee hesitantly.
âThanks,â he says at last. âNice of you.â
âI know, right? Hated it,â you respond, and he almost chokes on his first sip.
You almost choke on nothing when Kim Seungmin materializes in the aisle adjacent. He holds out a hand in Hyunjinâs direction. âYo.â
Hyunjin dabs it up mid-sip. âI fully forgot you were in this class.â
âWell, Iâm due for my weekly appearance.â Seungmin slips into the seat directly below you, glancing at you over his shoulder. âHey, Y/N.â
âHi,â you say, somehow managing to stumble over the single syllable the word has. You thank your lucky stars that you fixed your hair yesterday.
You like Kim Seungmin. Not just in the cutesy, crushy way, but in the âI would relinquish all of my rights for youâ way where you spend every waking moment cursing out whatever stroke of misfortune placed Hyunjin in the seat next to you instead of him. Heâs funny, gorgeous, and talentedâa vocal performance major with a student-athlete contractâand you think your infatuation is more than justified. Hyunjin thinks itâs hilarious.
You side-eye your blonde adversary, prepared to see one of three things: a suppressed laugh, a dramatic eye-roll, or a mature kissy face that usually results in the first option. Youâre met with something far more worrisome.
Heâs thinking.
That canât be good.
Suddenly, his phone screen lights up with a text that temporarily wipes the conspiratorial gleam from his eye. Hyunjin scans it over and groans. âCan this guy do his fucking job?â
âHe wouldnât have to if you didnât quit,â Seungmin answers. âIâll never forget you, Manager Hwang.â
âShut up.â You peer at Hyunjin, silently requesting an explanation. âOur captain is forcing us to help him look for a new team manager. We need one for playoffs because of some stupid U-League ruleâSeung, why do you look morose?â
âIâm mourning.â Seungmin does look morose indeed. âHyunjin committed larceny last year and our coach punished him by making him our team manager for the rest of the season. It was so funny.â
Hyunjin slides down his seat. âIt was the worst experience of my life.â
Neither man seems inclined to elaborate on the mention of larceny. You choose to digress. âCan I ask why?â
âHe had to be responsible,â Seungmin whispers. âFor other people.â
The top of Hyunjinâs head stops right next to your armrest. You reach over and pat his hair in faux sympathy. âPoor thing.â
âHardass refused to do it again this year, so now weâre recruiting.â Seungmin props an elbow upon the back of his chair, looks at you contemplatively. âI donât suppose you have four hours to spare every day.â
Hyunjin scoffs from below you. Loudly. âThis one? Team manager?â
âI can see it.â
âI can see killing myself, maybe.â
The next time you reach for him is to hit his forehead. A crisp smack resounds around the barren lecture hall. Hyunjin cusses into his seat cushion.
âSeems like a great candidate to me,â Seungmin muses, and the warm smile he gives you mirrors onto your face before you can think better of it. God, itâs pretty. You wonder how it would feel pressed against your own.
Hyunjin is now completely out of sight and halfway onto the floor. âI miss when you didnât come to class, Seungmin.â
Eighty minutes later, youâve just emerged from the classroom when Seungmin calls out to you. You come to such a sudden halt that Hyunjin almost trips over you, but you barely notice him stumble, utterly enraptured by the hand Seungmin brings to the strands of hair by your ear, the fingers that dust your cheek as they pluck a small piece of lint from out of the tresses.
âSorry.â He flicks it away with a sheepish smile. âI couldnât unsee it.â
You manage to thank him just before your whole body ceases to function. Hyunjin sidesteps the two of you, yawning.
Seungmin excuses himself not too long after you reach the main quad. You also turn to leave, sparing Hyunjin a curt farewell in the process. He hooks his pointer finger around the handle at the top of your backpack and lugs you backwards with infuriating ease.
âI didnât like that at all,â you say.
âI donât care. I have something to tell you.â
âYou have a kid, donât you?â
âWhaâhuh? Who do you think I am?â
âThe one-night-standâs poster child. The champion of the contraception industry.â
âYeah, contraception industry. Itâs right there in the name.â
You canât argue with that. âWhat do you have to tell me?â
A shadow of hesitation flits across Hyunjinâs face. Your smile falters. Is it possible that youâre about to have a serious conversation with him for the first time? Maybe you shouldâve saved the secret son bit for another time.
âIâm failing anthro.â
So much for a serious conversation.Â
âCome again?â
He repeats the mystifying statement.
âYouâre joking.â The look on his face says otherwise, though, and your eyebrows disappear into your hair. âYouâre failing anthro?â
âI just said that, yes.â
âYouâre failing anthropology?â
âMhm.â
âJust so weâre clearâyouâre failing Introduction to Cultural Anthropology?â
âYes. Iâm glad youâre having fun.â
This is the best day of your life. âI didnât even know that was possible.â
âYeah, well, our professor has no media literacy,â he mutters.
âWhat?â
âNothing.â Hyunjin clears his throat. âAnyways, I was thinkingââ
âWow! Congratulations. Thatâs a bigâoomfââ
Hyunjin puts his entire hand over your face. Your mangled noises of protest go unacknowledged.
âI was thinking,â he continues, pushing your head around like a stick shift, âyou and I can work out some kind of deal.â
You shove his wrist off you with a revolted groan. âI think I just ate some athletic tape.â
âHappens. You wanna hear the deal or not?â
âDoes it involve ingesting more sports equipment?â
âDo you want it to?â
âJust tell me the deal, boy.â
âAlright.â He takes a deep breath. âIf you help me pass this class, Iâll set you up with Seungmin.â
Your head performs a triple-axel on your neck. You are unable to respond for what feels like multiple hours. Finally: âIâm gonna need you to elaborate.â
âOn which part?â
âAll of them. Everything.â
Hyunjin sighs, then scans the courtyard. His gaze settles on the student union a little ways off. âAre you hungry?â
You pick up a sandwich and a smoothie in a state of nervous stupor. One would think itâs the prime minister youâre about to have lunch with and not an imbecilic left-side hitter eating from three different entrees at the same time.
Heâs chosen a table a few yards away from a planter of flowering cherry blossom trees. You feel jealous eyes on the side of your face as you take a seat across from Hyunjin, but they donât know that his telephone pole legs still bump against yours even with them drawn as close to your body as anatomically possible. Or that heâs drawing up a literal Ponzi scheme on your sandwich wrapper. You wager youâve had better company.
âYou like anthropology. I like listening to you talk about anthropology.â He traces over the wrapperâs left corner. âAnd I kinda want you to boss me around. That weird?â
âYes, definitely,â you mumble around a mouthful of bread. âGo on.â
âConclusion one: you should be my tutor.â He taps in place as if applying a finishing touch, then swaps to the opposite side. âYou also like my teammate, but heâs neck-deep in volleyball and music this semester, which makes him hard to get a hold ofâfor most people.â
âLet me guess. Not for you.â
âTen points to Ravenclaw.â His British accent is nightmarish. âSeung and I live in the same building. We get dinner when we go back from practice together. Conclusion two: you should come with us.â
âTo dinner or to practice?â
âTo both. Which brings us to my third and final conclusionââ
He slams a fist onto the center of the wrapper.
ââyou should manage our team.â
âI knew it!â You slam the table as well, your smoothie wobbling upon impact. âYouâre trying to swindle me! You canât pay for my labor with more labor. What do you take me for?â
âItâs not labor, dumbass! Ask our last manager! He didnât do shit!â
âYeah? Who was your last manager?â
âMe!â
Oh, right. âBut you hated it!â
âI hate everything that isnât playing volleyball. Try again.â
You fold your arms over your chest. âYou said youâd kill yourself if I managed you.â
Hyunjin starts balling up your sandwich wrapper. âItâs true. I thought about you and my coach getting along and promptly got a rash. But it makes so much sense: you do whatever you want during practice, tutor me afterwards, and then you and Seung can eyefuck over ramen or something. My coach hops off my dick, you hop on Seungâsââ
âSTOP!â A girl drops her receipt not too far away, startled by your outburst. âStop right there. I get it. Stop.â
âItâs a good plan.â He slings the paper ball towards the nearest trash can. It drops into the hole without so much as a brush against the rim. âYou know it is.â
Youâre loath to admit that you do. âWhen did you even come up with all this?â
He flicks a thumb in the direction of your anthropology class. No fucking wonder heâs failing.
âWhat is this, mock trial?â
The owner of this voice is the third man youâve seen today donning that navy windbreaker, white long-sleeve combo. He has a face that reminds you of your neighborâs cat from back home, sleek and sharp and only slightly sinister. Thereâs a dash of humor in his expression as he approaches your table like heâs enjoying the company of a court jester.
âSlamming tables like fuckinâ tariff lawyers,â the cat-man hums, lifting a hand in Hyunjinâs direction. âI could see it from all the way inside.â
âCaptain!â Hyunjin crows, dabbing him up without missing a beat. They really do that like breathing. âJust the man I was hoping to see.â
âReally? I thought youâd be avoiding me like the rest of our homunculus team.â
âI would never.â
âYou did. Yesterday. When you saw me and started running in the opposite direction.â He pauses for emphasis. âAs fast as possible.â
âWell, that was yesterday. Today is a new day.â Hyunjin tosses you a proud glance. âAnd today, I bring you a new team manager.â
You stiffen. âI havenâtââ
âIs that so!â When the stranger smiles at you, you feel the same satisfaction you did every time the cat let you scratch her on the chin. âMusic to my ears. Whatâs your name, cutie?â
You catch Hyunjinâs eye across the table; he nods enthusiastically as if saying go on, then. You briefly picture yourself strangling him with his own athletic tape. You then picture yourself hopping on Seungminâsâ
Rigidly, you throw a hand out to the cat-man, your face aflame.
âY/N,â you grumble. âIâm looking forward to working with you.â
He shakes on it heartily. âLikewise. Iâm Minho. Welcome to the team.â
âYes, welcome to the team,â Hyunjin parrots, looking positively jolly. You gnash your teeth together so hard your jaw throbs.
Heâs lucky that his proposal holds so much water. Heâs lucky that you donât plan to strangle him until after you try that eyefucking thing.
You do kick him under the table, though.
The team has five weeks to prepare for the Korean University League, the biggest college-level volleyball tournament in the country. You have five days to learn how the hell athletic tape works. You canât tell which is the bigger endeavor.
âIâm going to cause him irreversible skeletal damage,â you tell Changbin.
The teamâs libero is twice as kind as he is talented, a full-time sweetheart working part-time at the universityâs sports medicine clinic. Only your first week on the job and youâve already decided heâs the only person on Earth you would permit to usher you through the gym at 6:45 A.M., a roll of athletic tape pressed to your back like a pistol.
âYou will not,â Changbin answers. âOne, because this wonât involve his skeleton, and two, because I wouldnât ask you to help if it did.â
âYouâve misunderstood me,â you return as the two of you stop in front of an examination room. âI want to cause him irreversible skeletal damage.â
âOh.â He opens the door with a frown. âOh dear.â
Inside, Hyunjin is sitting cross-legged on top of a taping table, fitted in a loose gray tee and athletic shorts. He watches in pessimistic silence as you enter the room and beeline straight towards the shelf on the right. You slip a thick binder into your hands and bury your nose inside it without so much as a greeting.
âI am going to get maimed,â Hyunjin tells Changbin.
âHave some faith, both of you,â Changbin replies sternly. You find the pages youâre looking for and begin poring over them like youâre cramming for an exam. âYouâll be fine, Jinnie. Y/N studied.â
âStudied?â He repeats. âFor this?â
âIâm pretty sure Quizlets were made.â
âThree, to be exact," you interject, sticking out your hand. âNow tape me.â
Hyunjin mouths the words tape me in baffled silence. The latter obliges your request with a smile. âSee? What could go wrong?â
The answer to that, actually, is a lot. Especially after Changbin gets called away to help stretch out a teammate named Felix who allegedly âsprained his ass,â leaving Hyunjin to you and your binder.
You detect no smoky rose in the air around him today, just the subtle smells of cedar and cypressâlaundry detergent or shampoo, maybe. Figures he doesnât wear that insufferable cologne to practice.
âGo easy on me, yeah?â
While Hyunjinâs tone is teasing, yours is downright somber.
âI canât promise anything.â
With that, you turn your palms face-up in a silent request for his hand.
A few strands of hair fall into your face as you lean in for a better look. Itâs the first time youâve seen his fingers untaped; theyâre pretty, long and slender and surprisingly manicured, but also battered in their delicacy, the veins running over the back of his hand and forearm prominent, his bottom knuckles discolored from the healing bruises they bear. His hard work is palpable upon the smooth skin as evidently as if tattooed.
Hyunjin says your name in close proximity. You respond with an absent hum.
âYouâre not nervous, are you?â
âNo. Maybe a little.â You let his hand fall free and go to rummage for supplies. âFine, yes. Very.â
âBut you made Quizlets. Youâre prepared for anything.â
âThatâs what Iâm saying!â You realize only after spotting the gentle smile on his face that heâs making fun of you. âI hate you.â
âActually,â he hums, âI think you care about me, love. Thatâs why youâre nervous.â
âNonsenseâI care about disappointing Changbin. Thatâs it.â
âAnd me. And hopping on Seungminâs dick. All these things donât have to be mutually exclusive.â
You try to tackle him. Hyunjin catches your hands a few inches away from his face, fingers closing around your wrists with obnoxious agility.
âHave you lost your mind?â You whisper-shout, your face on fire. âDonât bring that up here. Iâll maim you for real.â
The laugh that explodes out of him throws his entire body backwards, turns his eyes to crescent moons and his mouth into a little rectangle. You hate that you donât hate when that happens.
âMy bad, my bad. It slipped out. I wonâtââ
One incremental shift of Hyunjinâs body later, you find that youâre precariously, alarmingly close to one another.
So much so that you notice the mole beneath his left eye for the first time, that you're nearly cross-eyed looking at it. That the tip of your nose actually brushes against his before you pull away with a quiet intake of breath.Â
Things are awkward between you often, youâve realized recently. Youâre both professional yappers, always quick to digress, quick to find a new topic to bicker about before the awkwardness marinates. But hours later youâll look back on the interaction and still remember how the air shifted: like a layer of dust had been blown away and something untouched and unknown was discovered just underneath.
Since youâve met him, Hyunjin has spent more time on your nerves than on your mind. Youâre not exactly losing sleep over such a circumstantial acquaintance; you know that his presence in your life will end the way it began, naturally and anticlimactically and inside the ANTH 111 lecture hall. Still, it doesnât go unnoticed when your heart and stomach launch into an elaborate gymnastics routine in the wake of something he says or does, just as theyâre doing now.
Hyunjin glances into your right eye a moment, then your left. The mole just below his left eye disappears when he smiles, the expression soft, saccharine, and sincere. How anyone casually looks the way he does is beyond your abilities of comprehension.
âThank you,â he murmurs.
Your face continues to burn, now perhaps for different reasons. âWhat for?â
He lets go of your wrist, sweeps the lock of hair that keeps getting in your eyes behind the cuff of your ear.
âCaring about me.â
Then he flicks your forehead. You recoil with a quiet ow.
âNow stop stalling and tape me, dumbass.â
âOkay,â you mutter, rubbing the injury tenderly. âNo need to get violent.â
It turns out the arduous taping procedure described in the instruction manual is for serious hand injuries. Hyunjin splints his fingers together for support, not rehabilitation, so it takes all of five minutes for him to talk you through his process. You finish taping both of his hands with nineteen minutes to spare. So maybe the Quizlets were overkill.
As youâre walking him down to practice, you take his hand and lift it to eye level, scanning your craftsmanship dubiously. âItâs not too tight, is it?â
âItâs perfect.â He swivels the hand around and grabs onto your entire face, the sensation by now eerily familiar. âWant another taste?â
You shove him down the stairs that remain. Unfortunately, there are only two. âYou are truly grotesque.â
The gym has come to life since you arrived earlier this morning, now illuminated by shining ceiling lights in addition to the sun spilling through high, narrow windows. Most of the team has yet to step onto the court, still stretching or jogging along the sidelines: Minho and Coach Bang are talking strategy on the bench, the coach taking notes on a handheld whiteboard every now and then; Changbin is leaning over a recumbent Felix below the scoreboard, presumably trying to fix his ass.
The only one already with a ball in hand is Seungmin, setting to himself by the net. Once, twice, thrice straight up in the air, and then he glances in your direction and sends the fourth towards the left side of the court in a buoyant arc.
You only glean bits and pieces of the next few seconds. Hyunjin is at your side one moment, making a break for the net the next. His arms draw backwards in perfect synchrony. Feet hit the floor with laserlike intent. His entire body unravels like a fraying chrysalis as he rises to meet the ball, pounds it over the net and into the ground at an angle so clean that the sound of its landing resounds within your ribcage. It rebounds over the railing of the second floor and barely misses the doorway of the examination room you just emerged from.
Hyunjin drops lightly back onto his feet, following the ballâs tumultuous trajectory with proud eyes. A leftover breeze tosses a strand of hair over the bridge of your nose, and time starts moving again.
âOi, this isnât your backyard! Go pick that up!â Their coach booms, though his words lack their usual bitterness after what he just witnessed his ace hitter do.
Hyunjin swivels towards Seungmin first. âCrazy bitch. What the fuck was that?â
âLower and faster. Further from the net too,â Seungmin returns. âHowâd it feel?â
The grin on Hyunjinâs face reminds you of a wildfire, untamed and all-consuming and frightening in its fervor. âLike we just won everything.â
He tousles your hair as he jogs past you and back up the stairs to fetch the volleyball. Seungmin waves at you with one hand and palms another ball into his other. His face is warm and bare, his slim build flattered by his volleyball gear. Youâve witnessed few people so nice to look at and even fewer things as elegant as his setting form. But you are still thinking about Hyunjinâand you canât move.
It is debilitating, watching somebody do the very thing they were destined for.
A little less than a week later, Hyunjin is approaching hour three of spewing hot garbage into a Word document when he decides to give up and call you.Â
âHello?â He immediately starts laughing. âWhere the fuck are you?â
You poke the top of your head into the shot of your ceiling, gesturing to your headband. âMy face is preoccupied at the moment.â
âOh, you have to show me. Please.â
You flip your phone up for no more than half a second. A camera shutter goes off, followed by a shriek so loud that it peaks your mic.
âMotherfucker!â
He basically sprints to his camera roll. His prize: you with your face slathered in cleanser, hair pinned back by a Miffy headband, looking like the abominable snowman if he liked cute merchandise.
âThank you,â he says earnestly. âIâll treasure this forever.â
âYouâll be punished, Hwang.â
âDonât threaten me with a good time.â
You brandish your middle finger at him in response. He props his phone up against his computer screen with a chuckle.Â
âAaanyways, I have a thesis statement to run by you.â
The first thing you did as Hyunjinâs tutor was help draft an email to Professor Kim, begging her to let him resubmit the two essays he royally botched. She replied with a lengthy quotation from her syllabus, specifically the section that talked about (and prohibited) resubmissions, but ended up making an exception for Hyunjin on account of the âtruly piteous timbreâ of his email. You fell out of your chair laughing when he read you her response.
âYou shouldâve opened with that.â
âI tried, hello? Someone distracted me!â
âRead. It. Before I change my mind.â
You spend a few minutes at most on the thesis itself, advising him to avoid passive voice, answer the prompt, establish a refutable argument, the works. Then he asks you a question about the research topic itself, allusions to the afterlife in Ancient Egyptian artwork, and the tutoring session takes a turn into what feels like a podcast episode.
You talk about the God of Death, Anubis, and his connections to the underworld; the elaborate, lavish funerary rituals intended to ensure the souls of the dead traveled safely; the vibrant murals that flanked their final resting spots as pictorial requests for divine protection. And you talk about them all with such confidence, such eloquence, that itâs as if youâre leading him through a history museum rather than talking to your phone as you do your skincare. He could listen to you for hours. He does, actually.
Around 1 A.M., Hyunjin stops typing mid-sentence when you come into frame for the first time, collapsing into your bed with a sigh of relief. Your eyes are soft and sleepy as they blink at your screen, strands of damp hair clinging to your cheeks. He feels his heart physically shift inside his ribcage when your mouth stretches into a yawn. It is the same sensation as the time you shot him a smile over your shoulder and he couldnât move for ten minutes.
With that, his attention span has run its course.
âBaby,â he interrupts gently. âLetâs stop here, okay? You seem tired.â
You open your mouth as if to protest, only to yawn again.
âI suppose I am. Will you keep working tonight?â
âI think so. I hit my stride.â
âText me if you have questions, then. Iâll respond when I wake up.â
âOkay.â
âOkay.â
Your lips curve into the smallest of smiles. It copies onto Hyunjinâs face incurably quickly.Â
âI had my doubts about this tutoring thing, you know.â
âWhy is that?â
âWell, you told me this class was the closest thing to daily naptime youâd experienced since preschool.â
âIt really is.â
âYou also told me you would rather slam your tongue in a car door than read more than three sentences in one sitting.â
âI really would.â
âAnd you once referred to academia as âVirgin Village.ââ
âDidnât you come up with that?â
âNo, hello? I live in that village.â
He grins. âI know. I just wanted to hear you admit it.â
âFuck you.â
âAh, donât threaten me with a goodââ
âWhat Iâm trying to say is that I didnât think you would take this seriously, but Iâm happy to be proven wrong.â
Hyunjin leans back. âWell, turns out I might give a fuck about anthropology after all.â
âReally?â
âNo.â
You pretend to punch him through the screen. Itâs so cute that he forgets to think before he opens his mouth next.
âBut I do give a fuck about you.â
Thereâs nothing crazy about the statement. Youâre friends, sort of. You manage his team. It would be strange if he didnât. But the seconds that follow are terrible, a silent prophecy of something disastrous, like a cloud of rubble before an avalanche, the standstill during a starâs final breath. And Hyunjinâs heartbeat is hounding against his ears like a performance of traditional taiko.
He says good night in a haste. The call ends. He stares at the wall of his bedroom in a muddled haze for who knows how long.
Then he opens his texts.
Hyunjin: We have team bonding tomorrow btw Hyunjin: Donât forget Y/N: i forgot. Y/N: pick me up at 6:45? Hyunjin: đ«Ą
He picks you up at 7:53.
You approach his car with your fists balled and your eyebrows knitted together like a mean old curmudgeon and heâs walking too close to your lawn.
âHis fault,â Hyunjin says before you start yelling.
Minho simpers at you through his open window. âHey, you! So glad you could join us!â
You fix the man with a judgmental glare as you slide into the backseat. âArenât you the captain? Why are you this late?â
âWhoa, okay. I wouldâve scheduled this for earlier if I knew right now was honesty hour.â
âYou did schedule it for earlier,â you say. âYou scheduled it for way earlier.â
âYeah, well, youâre fired.â
âYou canât fire me, Minho.â
âI can too. Tell âem, Hwang.â
âI want nothing to do with this.â
When you step through the doors of the arcade, youâre met with a surge of sensory input that you havenât experienced in years. The air hangs thick with the smells of greasy concessions; everywhere you look are flashing screens and neon signs, stuffed animals and fading posters; clamoring against your ears are the sounds of games being won or lost, of balls being pocketed or launched, and of a horde of fully grown men spectating a match of Dance Dance Revolution so passionately (and loudly) that theyâve scared everyone away from that side of the room. You recognize the current competitors as Changbin and Jeongin.
âIâll go pay,â Hyunjin says. âHow much time do we want?â
âInfinity,â Minho answers. Hyunjin doesnât move. âTwo hours.â
He flashes him a thumbs-up. âAnd you?â
âIâm okay, I think.â
âNo youâre not,â the two men answer in perfect unison.
You glance between them warily. âI donât mind watching, seriously. I donât even know how most of these games workââ
âThereâs Tetris,â Hyunjin cuts in.
You purchase an hour.
One would imagine the point of the evening is to break the SNU menâs volleyball team, not to bond them. Youâve never seen so many strained blood vessels in your life. Nor have you heard of half the insults they spew at each other as the night goes on. Felix has to pay a fee for lodging an air hockey puck in the side of the MarioKart machine. Changbin loses at skee-ball and has to down an XL slushie like itâs a shot. Itâs a scary amount of boyishness expressed in scary ways.
But theyâre happy. Youâve picked up on it when theyâre on the court, noticed the raw elation they emanate just from playing together. Yet, their closeness has never been more evident to you than tonight. The men are either laughing or making someone else laugh, arms draped over each other at all times, equally happy to celebrate victories as theyâre eager to punish losses. It dawns on you at some point that youâre glad to be here with them, grateful to be a part of something so specialâespecially because thereâs Tetris.
âHave you ever considered going pro?â Hyunjin asks over your shoulder.
You waited until most of the team was distracted to slink off to your beloved machine. Hyunjin tagged along, undoubtedly with the intention of making fun of you, only to be rendered speechless by your mastery. Heâs been watching in a state of stupor, forearms propped against the back of your chair.
You donât respond for a while, too focused on a precarious patch to even blink, let alone partake in conversation.
âI already did,â you finally answer.
âSorry, what? You played professional Tetris?â
âIn middle school. Then I got bored and switched to backgammon.â You pause. âThen I got bored again and switched to chess.â
âHow do you look like this with these hobbies?â
Your run ends a few minutes later with a somber sound effect. You turn around in your seat with an anguished groan. âI think Iâm washed.â
He looks at you like youâve lost your mind. âYou just set a new record by three hundred thousand points.â
âItâs a small pond,â you say, and an idea occurs to you. âDo you wanna try?â
âI get the feeling I donât have a choice.â
âThen youâre smarter than you look.â
âWell, you lookââ
His eyes move between your shoes and your face, and then his voice is an inaudible mutter as he sinks into your seat. You think you hear something along the lines of unfair.
âWhat was that?â
âUgly. I said you look ugly.â He cracks his knuckles. âNow letâs break some fuckin' blocks.âÂ
When Hyunjin learns that the pieces can be rotated (so six or seven attempts later), a man walks into the arcade.Â
He has hair the color of dark chocolate, the face of a fairy princeâand heâs with someone. The two of them appear arm in arm, laughing at something he said. He looks at this person the way astronomers do to the sky.
Something shatters inside you like old porcelain.
Your hands loosen around the back of Hyunjinâs chair. You canât watch. You canât think. You can only feel a void of disappointment rip open, stretch over you like an elongating shadow.
âSeung!â Thatâs Jisung, you think. âYou made it!â
âYo, sorry weâre late.â Thatâs Seungmin. That is undoubtedly Seungmin. âDinner took longer than I thought.â
âMin, are you sure Iâm allowed to be here?â You donât know who this voice belongs to and youâre not sure you want to. âI feel like Iâm intrudingââ
âHwang,â you say suddenly. âI have to go.â
He turns around, confused. An unattended block falls into a terrible spot on the screen behind him. âAlready?â
âI forgot I had an important call to make.â You turn away, training your eyes on the patterned carpet. âSorry. Iâll see you around.â
You have touched Hyunjinâs hands many times. Heâs asked you to tape his fingers every day since the first; he likes the way you cut off his circulation, says it helps him hit harder. But you never hold his hand so much as you examine it, the act stiff and unfeeling, cordoned within the professional pretense of athletic treatment.Â
Now, Hyunjin catches your hand like a gardener repotting their favorite flower: delicately, careful of leaving its roots intact and petals untouched, but firmly, securely, so the flower continues to stand tall even when itâs been extracted from the soil, not even a speck of dirt slipping through the cracks between their fingers. That is the image you conjure when he slips his between yours, his metal rings cold where his fingertips are warm.
He says your name. There is a pinch of pain in the word, and you know that he knows.
âDo you want to be alone?â
You have never been asked such a thingâyou have never asked to be asked such a thingâbut, for some reason, the question brings tears to your eyes.Â
âYes, please,â you whisper, and you pull your hand away.
When you stalk past him, you hear Jisung notice you, call out to you, a note of worry in his question. You also count three pairs of eyes on your back: one concerned, the next confused, and the last you are wholly incapable of meeting.Â
Unknown to you is the fourth pair fixed upon the top of the Tetris machine, where youâve left your phone.
You emerge into the parking lot. The frigid air stills your mind for a fraction of a second, the last moment of mental quietude you will allow yourself that night.
Hyunjinâs right; the team manager doesnât have to do much.
Coach Bang allows you to come to whichever practices and games you feel like, during which you might at most lug around a ballbag or fill someoneâs waterbottle before holing up somewhere to do your own thing. But you like the people you work for too much to do so little for them, so you attend everything your schedule allows.Â
Last week, you could be found helping Minho put up the volleyball nets before practice, your laughter echoing throughout the spacious gym as he complained to you about his biochemistry professorâs distinct âcabbage scent.â Or running to grab materials for Changbin as he treated his teammatesâ injuries like you were assisting an orthodontist giving someone a root canal. The dinner invitations you extended to Seungmin were always turned down, but his teammates were more than happy to assist you and Hyunjin in your quest to establish the best kimbap joint in the area once and for all. You even had a heart-to-heart with Coach Bang during one of the teamâs water breaks, in which you managed to get half a smile out of the guy; Hyunjin was convinced that was his way of asking you to elope. You spent more time in the gymnasium those ten days than you had your entire college career.
Then came the arcade.
Five days have come and gone. You havenât attended practice since, but you still see Hyunjin every morning at anthropology. The two of you sit in uncharacteristic silence for most of the lectures. Youâve taken the best notes of your life. He doesnât mention the previous weekend; he doesnât mention much of anything.Â
In person, that is.
That Friday afternoon, youâre reading on the terrace of the library when you receive a text. Itâs from Hyunjin, a two-minute voice note. You hesitate for a moment, stick a pencil into the gutter of your textbook to save your place, and slip your earbuds in. You listen to it.
Then you listen to it again.
And again as you wrap up your study session and go home. Again as you cook yourself dinner and load the dishwasher. Again as you shrug on a jacket and pocket your keys, setting off on the familiar trek to the gym.
As for what you plan to do there on a Friday night, long after the team has finished practice, you havenât the slightest clue. You continue to move regardless, fueled by the feeling that there is where you need to be.
Coach Bang is leaving the building just as youâre approaching it. He halts in his footsteps and raises his eyebrows when he notices you. The man has always been difficult to read, but his face is exceptionally opaque now. Maybe itâs the shadowy landscape; more likely itâs the uneasiness that began to mount within you once you noticed the lights in the gym were still on.
âItâs been a while,â he greets.
âCoach,â you return, lowering your head. âI want to apologize forââ
âSave it,â he says, not unkindly. âThereâs nothing to apologize for, alright? The team is lucky to have you.â
You manage a grateful smile. âIâll be back starting next week.â
âIâm glad to hear it.â He starts to walk away, stops himself, and glances into the illuminated building. âI would give him some space, by the way.â
Your uneasiness morphs into anxiety as you watch his broad back retreat into the shadows. You remain outside the gym for a few minutes more, accompanied by the distant melodies of cricket chorales and the muffled squeaking of shoes against laminated hardwood, the harsh sounds of flesh meeting leather.
Briskly, you walk home, rummage around, and return to the gym ten minutes later with your textbook tucked beneath your arm. This time, you unlock and enter the building without a moment of hesitation.Â
Hyunjin is positioned multiple yards behind the service line, rotating a volleyball in his hands. A high toss, two resounding steps, and a collision like the crack of a whip. The previous ball has barely landed in the furthest corner of the court when heâs picking up the next, retreating to the same spot to do it all again. His tank top is the color of charcoal over his sweaty skin, his hair auburn where itâs plastered to his neck. Heâs alone.
You only catch sight of Hyunjinâs face when you descend the stairs. His expression is crystalline, hardened with concentration and fortified by courage, but fragile all at once, rendered delicate by fatigue and fear, spilling from his every seam and splintering off his person like a broken vase. You recognize it as clearly as if you were looking at a picture of yourself from the worst years of your life.
âI was told to give you space,â you call out, and Hyunjin drops the volleyball heâs holding.
His lips fall apart. Nothing comes out of them. The only sounds to follow are your footsteps as you make your way towards the bleachers, a vertical wall of plastic now that theyâve been retracted for the night. You fold your legs into a criss-cross as you take a seat at their base.
âIs this enough space?â
More silence. You gesture to the volleyball nervously.
âDonât make me go further, please. Iâm not ready to die.â
Finally, this earns you a smile. Itâs not much, but it loosens the nervous coils in your heart, permits your lungs to contract once more, and it remains on his face as he swipes the ball back into his hands. You open your textbook.
The rest of the night elapses in turning pages and soaring volleyballs. You donât care for minutes or hours; you give him all the time in the world, as he did you.
The only time you glance at the clock on the wall is around midnight, when Hyunjin hobbles to the middle of the court and collapses. Youâre worried at first. Then he rolls onto his back and releases a guttural groan into his hands, and your held breath comes out a laugh. You set down your book and stand up.
Thereâs a lake of perspiration forming around him. You pay it no mind and flop onto the floor, your eyes instantly narrowing beneath the fluorescent lights.Â
âHow do you see under these things?â
âI donât,â he returns. âI complained about it to Coach once.â
âAnd?â
âHe made them brighter.â Sounds about right.
Hyunjin spends the next few minutes catching his breath, his chest rising and falling in your peripheral vision. You sift through your mind for phrases of consolation or gestures of support and come up empty. You wish you had Hyunjinâs way with words.
But you think about the way his smile reached his eyes as he thanked you for caring about him, the tenderness with which he caught your hand at the arcade, the I give a fuck about you he blurted before ending the study call. You think about the voice note. Itâs not that Hyunjin has a way with words; itâs that heâs brave enough to break the silences that you canât, like he perceives your anxiety for the aftermath, shouldering the responsibility so you wonât have to.
This cannot be his burden alone.
You inhale. âWhatâs on your mind?â
Hyunjin doesnât answer right away. You give up on squinting and close your eyes. The lights are still bright enough to dance around the murky darkness.
âI donât think I know how to put it into words.â
You nearly laugh; you know how that feels. âDonât think, just talk. Iâm here.â
The same advice you gave yourself seems to work on him as well.
âDo you remember Ishikawa Yuki?â
His role model.
âHeâs currently playing for a club team in Italy called Allianz Milano.â He blows out a deep breath. âIâve been talking to their coach, Roberto Piazza, for the last six months.â
The gears in your head creak in their effort to process the implications of these words. âHoly shit, Hwang.â
âHe emailed again, this morning. Said he was coming to the tournament later this month, heâs excited to see me play in person, whatever. And it hit me, finally, that this is all real. Like, this is actually happening to me. I spent all of today freaking out and asked Coach to let me stay back after practice. Usually, it wears out my brain if I tire my body, but it only half-worked today. I couldnât wrap my head around anything. I still canât.
âI am who I am because of that man, and nowâŠI have a shot at playing with him. I keep asking myself why Iâm notânot happier. I should be bouncing off the fucking walls, no? If I told my past self that this would be happening to him one day, heâhe wouldââ
You open your eyes, confused by the sudden silence.
Hyunjin is sitting up next to you, staring intensely into the bleachers. You first notice the tip of his tongue prodding into his cheek, then his shuddering breath. He lifts a hand to his face, pressing against his eyes.
You stop thinking after that.
You sit up with him. When you settle your fingers around his wrist, he allows you to pull his hand back to his side. But he turns away as if trying to hide from you; he squeezes his eyes shut as if that would obstruct your view of his pain.
You reach to cradle his face, bringing him back to you. The cuff of your sleeves wipe at the saltwater on his cheeks, push the hair off his forehead with gentle sweeps. The two of you are close, close enough that your lips would meet the space between his eyes if you so much as lost your balance. His gaze traverses to your face, but you resolve not to meet it. You know you will traipse into uncharted territory the moment you do.
âDonât fight it.â You trace over the hill of his cheek. âHealing becomes easier if you let yourself hurt. Trust me, Hyunjin.â
His first name should feel foreign on your tongue, yet you suspect the syllables have accompanied you all your life.
âYou donât have to continue if you canât.â
âSâokay.â Hyunjin lifts your hand away from his face, presses a kiss to the base of your palm. âI want to.â
You feel yourself stumble ungracefully into the uncharted territory from before; does he do the same?
âI used to play volleyball on this expanse of cracked blacktop, behind my primary school. It was pretty brutal on my feetâI blew through so many different pairs of sneakers my mom almost made me quit.â He smiles at the memory. âBut every time I came close to quitting, Iâd go home and rewatch the same USA vs. Poland match from the 2008 Summer Olympics I asked my dad to record, and Iâd promise myself it would be me on some other kidâs screen someday.
âThat kid would tell everyone whoâd listen about how cool I am. That Iâm a secret superhero. That Iâm living proof humans can fly if they really, really tryâjust like I talked about the volleyball players I grew up watching on my TV.
âThe other day, Coach told me that hope would consume me. I thought it was just some senile drivel at the time, but..I think I get what he means now. I would do anything and everything to make that kid proudâeven if it meant losing myself.â He lowers his head, auburn strands falling into his eyes. âThatâs whatâs on my mind.â
Amidst the ensuing pause, a storm approaches. It does not come in the form of rain or snow, sleet or hail, no; it is a gathering of words unsaid and emotions unacknowledged, all emerging from the deepest chambers of your heart in synchrony. The same entities you used to scapegoat for all the times things were awkward between you and Hyunjin when you were the culprit all along. You and your blind cowardice.
The storm tears open the seam of your lips. You do not resist; itâs long overdue.
âEvery time Changbin sees you, he turns into a smitten schoolgirl,â you say. âHe is physically unable to contain how endearing he finds you. He told me so himself.â
Hyunjin looks at you with widened eyes. You think you can see your own reflection in them, and you are the spitting image of a lighter dropped into gasoline, unstoppable in your vehemence.
âJeongin comes to you for advice before anyone else,â you continue, âeven for things related to schoolâwhich I still find hard to believe, Iâm not gonna lie. But you have his best interests in mind, and it shows in everything you do for him. Of course your opinion matters more than anything in the world.
âI know you think he canât stand you, but you are the reason Coach Bang loves this job, why he loves this sport. Itâs written all over his face every time he calls you something mean, every time he makes you run another lap, every time he looks at you. Youâre like a son to him. Everyone sees it but you.â
âThen thereâs me.â You pause to catch your breath. âWhen I think about what my life used to be, I remember a lot of things. I remember loneliness. Insecurity. I remember my books and my backgammon boards and the way I taught myself to disappear inside them so the world would never find me. I remember avoiding mirrors like a vampire because I didnât like seeing my own reflection. I remember feeling like I had to put on someone elseâs personality every time I left the house because nobody would want to know me for me. All I ever wanted was a place where I could be myself, love myself, without consequence. I have yet to find that place.
âBut I found a person. Someone who wouldnât know time and place if they kicked his dick into his body. Someone who thinks instant ramen is high in nutritional value because it comes with dried vegetables. Someone who sweats the same amount of rain the Sahara Desert receives yearlyâyour body is not normal, by the way.â
Hyunjin giggles; it is soft and short, a small, tearful huff into the quiet air that makes you feel like youâre flying.
âDonât get me wrong,â you say. âYour sense of humor sucks and your taste in coffee is so boring and you are the one with no media literacy, not Professor Kim. But I love spending time with you. I love who I am when Iâm around you. And none of that has to do with volleyball.â
The next time you blink, you discover that heâs not the only one with tears in his eyes. How long has that been going on?
âThereâs so much about you to be proud of, Hyunjin.â You give him a watery smile. âThat kid will be spoiled for choice.â
When Hyunjin pulls you into his arms, you fall into each other like going to bed after a long day. Your face burrows into the crook of his neck in your embarrassment; he is laughing and crying at the same time when he mumbles something into your shoulder: âI knew you cared about me.â
You are so happy for the comedic relief you could sob. It helps that you already are.
âHow the fuck are you still sweaty?â You choke out, and you think you like his cologne after all.
Six days later, Hyunjin opens the door of his apartment.
A fun-sized flurry of black and white barrages into the hallway outside and almost runs headfirst into the figure waiting there. You fall to your knees like youâve just been gravely wounded, emitting an ear-piercing wail to match. All it takes is a few good head scratches for Kkami to stop yipping bloody murder and start whining for attention instead.Â
Upon minute five of watching you and his dog cuddle in the hallway directly outside his home, Hyunjin sighs.
âCan you come inside, please? My RA will think Iâm doing some freaky shit again.â
You side-eye him as you walk into his apartment, Kkami perched happily in your arms. âWhat, exactly, does freaky shit entail?â
He smirks as the door falls shut. âYou want me to tell you or show you?â
You turn to Kkami, disgusted. âYour ownerâs a bit of a pervert, my dear.â
Kkami licks you on the chin. Hyunjinâs eyes narrow to slits.
âTraitor.â
Naturally, Hyunjinâs parents chose the eve of his final anthropology examâand the week before the tournament that will determine the trajectory of his careerâto ask him to look after Kkami for a few days. He nearly canceled their plane tickets himself, but his impromptu roommate is currently ransacking your face with kisses on his couch, and he thinks your laugh complements his studio better than any decoration.Â
âDo you want anything to drink?â He calls from the kitchen area.
You meander over, Kkami (still) perched happily in your arms. âWhat do you have?âÂ
âAlcohol.â He opens his fridge far enough so you can peer over his shoulder. âAmericanos.â
He stops speaking.
âIs that all?â
âYes. Waitâand apple juice.â
âYou are about to be a professional athlete.â
âWhat the Italians donât know wonât hurt them. You want apple juice, donât you? I can see it in your eyes.â
âMaybe. Can you open it for me? My hands are full.â
Hyunjin does so with far less reluctance than he feigns. You thank him jubilantly, popping the straw into your mouth.
âLetâs get this over with.â
At 10:32 P.M., all is calm. You are sitting on the floor, your back against the side of his mattress. Hyunjin is where the universe intended: curled up in bed, both him and his laptop lying on their sides. You have studied eight out of ten units in only two and a half hours, and the night is still young. Kkami is but a fluffy, sleepy Oreo by your waist.
At 10:33 P.M., the Oreo begins to retch.
You startle a foot into the air. Hyunjin is out of bed and on his feet in the blink of an eye, the very image of a dog dad on duty. He grabs three different things off the kitchen counter with one hand and scoops up the long-haired chihuahua with the other, and then heâs kicking open the door.
Seungmin appears out of thin air carrying two heaping bags of groceries. Hyunjin nearly knocks him and a monthâs worth of fresh produce down four flights of stairs.
âHyunâKkami?â Seungmin swivels. âYo, what the fuck isââ
Hyunjin is already out the door.
A few minutes later, Hyunjin squats off to the side, pouring fresh water into a portable dog bowl. A little ways away, Kkami is throwing up ebulliently; a set of footsteps approaches.
âWhat is this thing?â Seungmin squats down next to Hyunjin, picking up the piece of patterned fabric lying on the grass.Â
âKkami gets sad after throwing up,â he sighs. âHis blanket makes him feel better.â
Seungmin watches the chihuahua for a few moments, a soft flinch crimping his features. âHe ate too fast again?â
Hyunjin rakes a hand through his hair. âI donât get it. Nobodyâs gonna take his food from him.â
Seungmin laughs. âI didnât even know he was on campus.â
âI picked him up last night. My parents are traveling for workâthey say hi, by the way.â
âI say hi back. I miss your momâs cooking.â
âMe too,â Hyunjin says, smiling. âShe would love to cook for you againâsheâs always saying youâre too skinny.â
âShe really is.â
A beat passes; it is then that Hyunjin has an epiphany.
Seungmin was the one who put a volleyball in his hands for the first time. Back then, Hyunjin was the lesser troublemaker between the two of themâa concept that neither of them can wrap their heads around to this day. Seungmin suggested they use the clotheslines in Hyunjinâs backyard as a makeshift net, despite Hyunjinâs dissuading; half of Hyunjinâs fatherâs wardrobe caught on fire, Seungmin had a black eye for a week, and nobody knows what happened to that volleyball. The two of them have been attached at the hip ever since.
It is a crazy thing, having your best friend as a teammate; a singular flick of the wrist or a point of his shoe and Seungmin will know exactly Hyunjin wants the ball down to the netâs fraying fibers; Hyunjin will be exactly where Seungmin needs him down to the flecks of paint on the volleyball court. Hyunjin has always been Seungminâs hitterâSeungmin, always Hyunjinâs setter. Nothing will ever change between them so long as that remains the case.
At least, thatâs what Hyunjin used to think.
Learning that Seungmin was in a relationship was as much a wake-up call for Hyunjin as it was for you. At first, he was just fucking pissed; how could Seungmin be so stupid as to turn down someone like you, especially when Hyunjin had shot his mouth off about his wingman services? More importantly, how long had his best friend of eighteen years been in love, and why was he the last to know?Â
Only now, as they wait for his nine-year-old chihuahua to finish barfing, does Hyunjin realize that he canât remember the last time he and Seungmin talked. Not âtalkedâ as in a brief exchange inside the locker room or the lecture hall, about a new approach he wants to try or what Seungmin got on number four or if he wants a ride to practiceââtalkedâ as in talked, about Hyunjin, about Seungmin, about the eighteen years they shared, about all the years yet to come.
Hyunjin sees his setter every day; he stopped looking for his friend a long time ago.Â
âYeonwoo, right?â
He senses surprise in Seungmin without having to look at him. But he also senses a smile, a subtle show that Seungmin recognizes what heâs trying to doâand forgives him.
âYeonwoo,â Seungmin affirms. âWeâre in the same songwriting intensive this semester.â
âAlso a singer?â
He shakes his head. âPiano player. Performed at the Carnegie Hall in the United States at, like, seven years old. I donât think Iâve ever met someone so talented.â
âWow, thatâsâhi, old man. You done?â
Kkami walks over with his head hung low and tail between his legs, and Hyunjin hurries to drape the pup in his favorite blanket, pulling the bowl of water in front of him in tandem. Seungmin runs a hand over the top of Kkamiâs head as he hydrates.
âYouâve suffered,â he tells him solemnly, and Hyunjin snorts.
âAs I was sayingâthatâs crazy to hear, coming from the most talented person I know. You guys looked so good together.â
âThanks. Itâs weird. Iâm happy.â
âYou deserve it. You really do, Kim.â They exchange smiles, and Hyunjin gives Seungmin a playful nudge. âWhen are you introducing us?â
âThe arcade wasnât enough?â
âDonât insult me.â
âWhenever you want, then.â
âDinner with my mom, dinner with Yeonwoo,â Hyunjin recounts. âIâm holding you to it.â
âBet.â
They shake on it. If Hyunjin wasnât already reassured by Seungminâs smile, he knows by his clasp around his hand that theyâll be okay.
âWhat about you?â Seungmin asks. âAre you together yet?â
Hyunjin knew this was coming. âWhat do you mean?â
âYou know what I mean.â Seungmin strings his hands together, letting them dangle in the space between his knees. âSomeone you have questions for that youâre too scared to ask. Someone whoâs lived in your mind since the day you met. Thereâs someone like that, isnât there?â
Hyunjin pokes his tongue into his cheek.Â
Ever since that night on the gym floor, Hyunjinâs been having these dreams. By the time his alarm goes off in the morning, every detail of the dream has eluded him, leaving behind only a ghost of emotion, akin to the breeze that grazes your face moments after walking past another person.
But then heâll get out of bed, and walk to that cafĂ© on the east side of campus, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. There, heâll order a vanilla latte with extra sweetener, then turn around to see you standing five feet away, holding an Americano and trying not to laugh. And heâll just know, with everything in him, that you are where his head goes when heâs not keeping watch.
He still addresses you by the pet names you hate. He still finds any excuse to be close to you; he still pesters you like a child with a crush. But now, he calls you his baby like one wishes on a star; his eyes drift to your lips every time youâre within two feet of each other; he makes fun of your likes and dislikes only because heâs happy to know about them at all. Ever since that night on the gym floor.
Itâs impossible for nothing and everything to change at once. Two people teetering on the precipice of something cannot withstand a gust of wind so powerful. Heâs already hanging off the ledge, losing his grip; where are you?
Next to him, Seungmin lets out a soft laugh. âThere is.â
Hyunjin doesnât know what to say.
âIt mightâve been me, at some point,â he hums, returning his hand to scratch the back of Kkamiâs ears. âBut it has always been you, Hyun.â
Four floors above them and inside Hyunjinâs place, you are pacing between his fridge and his bed, nervously awaiting his and Kkamiâs return.
Something catches your eye, wide and flat and hung on the wall by his bathroom door. You approach it curiously, your lips pulling into a fond smile the moment you realize all thatâs in front of you.
Many of the photographs are of Hyunjin: him in his preteens, dead asleep in bed while dressed head to toe in volleyball gear, braces visible because his mouth is open; an action shot taken at what mustâve been a U21 match, the South Korean flag stitched into the shoulder of his jersey; him with half a birthday cake in front of him and the rest smeared all over his face. There are headlines, too: Underdog team earns districtâs first high school volleyball state title; Hwang Hyunjin proves himself worthy of âace spikerâ label at South Korea V. Croatia U19 match; Coach Bang âChristopherâ Chan leads Seoul National University to second consecutive KUL championship. Thereâs oneâWho is Hwang Hyunjin? Meet the twenty-year-old instigant of South Koreaâs imminent volleyball revolutionâbeside which heâs written the singular word âmouthful.â You laugh; you agree.
But pinned to the corkboard is also a photograph of Minho, surrounded by stray cats in the alleyway outside a K-BBQ restaurant; his parents cradling Kkami in an apple costume; his high school volleyball team silhouetted against a pretty sunset. Him and Seungmin as kids, covered in grime and scrapes but beaming nonetheless; him and Seungmin at age nineteen, stadium lights on their backs, unadulterated elation on their faces as they charge towards each other, beaming still. Changbin piggybacking Felix through the hallways of the gym, neither of them wearing a shirt; Jisung offering Coach Bang a beer while the latter looks direly unamused (you make a mental note to ask about that one later); what looks like a Rock Lee cosplayer grimacing in the middle of your anthropology classroom.
You rush forward as if decreed by gravitational force. Not too far away is another picture of you, in which you boast a Miffy headband and a face full of foaming cleanser. Then another, your eyes narrowed like that of a sniper taking aim as youâre playing Tetris; you with so many volleyballs piled into your arms that you canât see your own face; your cheeks squished by a bandaged hand after you lost a bet about pandas (they can swim); you clutching your stomach on the library floor, brought to hysterical tears by Professor Kimâs email. You, you, you.
You bring your pointer finger to this last image, tracing it over the curve of your own cheek. You see a dimple on your face you didnât know you had. You realize it only comes out for him.
It has always been him.
The front door opens. A man with telephone poles for legs and a long-haired chihuahua in his arms appears behind it. You sense in him that something has changed since you last saw each other. The two of you lock eyes.Â
Itâs not awkward this time.
Multiple yards behind the service line, Hyunjin is rotating a volleyball in his hands. It feels solid and sentient, an extension of himself held in cotton-clad fingers. He knows how this story will end.
He moves his eyes to his best friendâs back. Four fingers flash back at him twice, signaling a high lob set to the left, the very play theyâve practiced tirelessly for the last five weeks. The breath Hyunjin blows out of his cheeks seems to crystallize in the air, almost solid in all its exhilaration.Â
He bends low and throws high. His arms drop behind his body like a spread of feathered wings; his feet fall into place below him like a meteor shower, two consecutive strikes against the earth that fissure its mantle. The lights overhead are bright. His palm pulls taut when it slams into leather. He knows how this story will end.
The volleyball tears towards the ground. It trembles as if scared by all that it holds: the guarantee of a flawless denouement, the catalyst of a radiant future. Hyunjinâs heart is beating hard enough to crack his ribs when he lands back on the ground, when the volleyball lands in the furthest corner of the court. Heâs not scared at all.
He balls his fingers into fists.
âJUST LIKE LAST YEAR, BACK TO BACK ON AN ACEââ
An arm seizes Hyunjinâs neck; another drags him onto the floor. His head thuds onto the hardwood with a sound he hears over the whole world detonating. His vision fills with the faces of the people he cares for most, some covered in tears and others rivaling the ceiling with their blinding smiles. He canât feel most of his body; his sweat drips into his mouth. He doesnât care. He doesnât care.
ââDEFENDING THEIR TITLE FOR THE THIRD CONSECUTIVE YEARââ
His eyes find Seungminâs among the fray. Their hands clap together with such force that Hyunjin cusses at the impact. Seungminâs gaze burns into his with a ferocity that Hyunjin plans to take to his grave. His setter. His best friend.
He says something inaudible, but Hyunjin reads the words off his lips, and his eyes fill with tears: we win everything.
ââYOUR NATIONAL CHAMPIONS: SEOUL NATIONAL UNIVERSITY!â
Hyunjinâs post-game interview is a lawless affair. He is allowed at most half an answer before a new teammate is barreling over with an animalistic screech or a new friend is screaming congratulations from out of frame.
The reporter is visibly agitated by her final question, unpursing her lips to ask: âIs there anyone youâd like to thank?â
Hyunjin exhales. âYou want the short answer or the longââ
Changbin seizes him by the head. Hyunjin bursts into a peal of high-pitched laughter as the libero litters kisses all over his face, nearly crumpling to the floor in his attempt to escape.
âLove you,â he yells before hurrying off.Â
âLove you too, Bin.â
Hyunjin turns a sheepish smile to the reporter.
âThe short answer,â she deadpans.
He starts counting off his fingers. He thanks his familyâhis first and last teammates, his eternal anchors. His other family, his actual teammates, the best boys heâs ever known. His coach, who will let him call him Chris someday. His best friend and setter, Kim Seungmin, who set a clothesline on fire once and changed his life forever.
In the distance, a figure emerges from the locker rooms. Thereâs a navy blue SNU banner draped over your shoulders, two overflowing duffel bags in your hands. Jisung and Jeongin run over to take them from you, and the smile you give them is wide and flushed, a remnant of the elation you shared from afar. The three of you start walking out of the gym.
Hyunjin thanks you.
You didnât ask for the position, he tells the reporter, but some idiot roped you into it, and theyâre all so grateful that you decided to stick around. You know the team better than they know themselvesâitâs hard to believe youâve been with them for five weeks instead of five years.
What are you like? What arenât you like, is the better question. Youâre caring, smart, strong; you see so much goodness in the people around you, all while unaware that it is your warmth that brings it out of them. Flowers only bloom in the sunâs doting radius, and so did he.
You have the sort of soul that incurs the scorn of the stars. They are the only ones to deserve you, they'd argue; youâre wasting your potential among humans when you belong to the sky, and theyâd be right.
Hyunjin pokes his tongue into his cheek, suddenly annoyed.
âWhy the fuck am I still talking to you?âÂ
âPardon?â The reporter returns, but Hyunjin is already vaulting over the bleachers, making a mad dash for the exit. She gives her cameraman an affronted glare. He shrugs.
He explodes onto the concrete, looking around in a frantic haze. He finds the blue banner heading toward the team bus and flanked by his teammates with ease.
He calls out to you.
You glance backwards. Your smile is purely effulgent, your laugh but a faint sigh against the areaâs busy thrum. His heart is pounding against his ribs like a battering ram again, but heâs used to this feeling by now. Jeongin and Jisung make themselves scarce.
Youâre beautiful. God, youâre fucking beautiful. That was the first thought to enter his mind when he spilled an iced Americano on your lap all those months ago and you looked at him like he hailed from another planet. And it is the first thought to enter his mind now, when he runs up to you and cradles your face in his hands, his touch infinitely, impossibly gentle, and you look at him like heâs everything that has ever existed, everything that ever will.Â
Tendrils of your body spray reach him from here, floral and light like a tropical coastline. He couldâve counted your eyelashesâif he didnât have something far better to do.
âTell me now if you donât want me to do this,â he whispers.
A stupid smile crosses the face of the smartest person he knows. âMy lips are sealed.â
Hyunjin kisses you. He kisses you until the banner around your shoulders is wrinkled under his touch, until your hands are tangled in his hair and aching his scalp, until the breaths you take are breaths you share, passed between your mouths like a puff of smoke before theyâre colliding again.
He kisses you until heâs crying, again, until heâs no longer tasting your lips but your grin, and he kisses you only harder when those scornful stars start to dance before him, for you are his, not theirs, and heâs really won everything, now.
âHwang, I need you in my office.â
Six months later, Hyunjin sees Coach Bang standing a few yards away with a grim air about him. He stops in his footsteps and glances at his captain, confused.
âI know nothing,â Seungmin says, walking away. âGood luck!â
âThanks, cap.â Hyunjin swears heâs had this exact exchange before.
Head volleyball coach Christopher Bangâs workspace still reminds Hyunjin of a morgue. But there are two picture frames on his desk now: one of his family in front of the Sydney Opera House, the other of a band of boys clad in navy blue, draped over one another in exhausted bliss. The latter lends the room a much-needed sense of vitality. Too bad it still houses a rusty cyborg.
Hyunjin closes the door and takes a seat. Bang taps a knuckle against the tempered glass of his monitor. âRead.â
From: Nicola Daldello «[email protected]» To: Bang âChristopherâ Chan «[email protected]» Subject: Re: Allianz Milano V. Pallavolo Perugia practice game Christopher, Allow me to apologize for my delayed response as I shared your request with Chairman Piazza. It is my great pleasure to inform you that we would love for Mr. Hwang Hyunjin to participate in our practice game versus Pallavolo Perugia. The match is scheduled for Monday, October 7th, 5-7 P.M. CET in the Giurati Sports Centre in Milan. Mr. Hwang will be playing for Allianz Milano as an outside hitter alongside Mr. Matey Kaziyski, Mr. Osniel Mergarejo, and Mr. Ishikawa Yuki. Please let me know of your availability to call regarding Mr. Hwangâs travel logistics. His transportation and lodging costs will be paid for by the club. Iâm looking forward to speaking with you and welcoming Mr. Hwang to Italy once and for all. Yours, Nicola Daldello Assistant Coach, Allianz Milano
âI told you, some opportunities just present themselves,â Bang says, turning his monitor back around. âAs for next steps, I need a holistic calendar view of your entire month of October, including social evâHwang, is that foam coming out of your moâNOT ON MY CARPET! HWANG!â
In a park about a ten minute walk away, a small crowd of elderly people are scattered across a few stone tables, hunched over the fading chess boards painted into the granite surfaces. Mrs. Choi whisks away Mrs. Baekâs king with a triumphant yelp.
âI knew it, I knew it, I knew it! That opening is unbeatable!â She swivels towards you, shaking a fist threateningly. âYou! Get over here. Your reign is over.â
You are sitting cross-legged in the shade of a broad magnolia tree, clearing out your storage. You tried to take a picture of a particularly rotund pigeon to send to Hyunjin earlier and couldnât even do that. It was then you decided you couldn't live like this anymore.
âAs excited as I am to beat you again, Mrs. Choi, I need ten more minutes,â you call back.Â
She presents you with an unpleasant hand gesture. You turn your attention back to your phone, grinning. Two new notifications sit at the top of your lock screen.
Hyunjin: Omw now. Sorry had to talk to Chris Hyunjin: Same park? Y/N: yes Hyunjin: Whoâs our opponent today Y/N: mrs. choi Hyunjin: Not that bitch again Y/N: ?
Heâll be here in eight minutes.
You return to the task at hand. Youâve already cleared out your apps, your documents, and videos; all thatâs left is the audio files. You conduct a quick mental review. Surely youâll live without your downloaded music and accidental voice memos.
Instead of hitting the âdeleteâ button, you extract a pair of tangled earphones from your jacket pocket.
You go back to your texts with Hyunjin, open the shared attachments tab, and scroll for a long time before you find the voice note he sent you seven months ago.
He finds you a sobbing mess.
âHey, hey, whoa.â Heâs on his knees in an instant, gathering your hands into his, a world of concern in the brown of his eyes. Your earbuds fall out and clatter onto the cement below. âBaby, whatâs happening? Are you okay?â
âYes,â you say in a flustered haste. âYes, Iâm okay. I donâtâI donât really know whatâs happening.â
âDid that hag do this to you?â He asks this question so seriously. âIâll beat up a senior citizen, I donât give a fuckââ
âNo!â You let out an ugly laugh through your tears. âNo, no. Leave Mrs. Choi alone.â
âThen what is it? Whatâs wrong?â
Eventually, your vision clears enough for you to look at the man kneeling in front of you. His roots grow out longer every day, his hair by now nearly equal parts gold and black. A spot of sunlight infiltrates the magnolia leaves and lands on his left eye, turning it the hue of melted bronze.
Your fingers drift to the sides of his beautiful face as you lean in close; he smells like a combination of smoky rose and tropical coastlines.
âIâll tell you later,â you murmur, pressing a kiss to his hairline.Â
He is dissatisfied with this, hooking a pointer finger beneath your chin, guiding your face back to his. He laves the saltwater from your lips, your tongue, and then youâre smiling again, barely able to remember why you cried in the first place.
You rest your foreheads together. âHave I told you that you look like a bumblebee these days?â
He smiles. âDoes that make you my flower, then?â
âBecause youâre irresistably drawn to me?â
âNo, because I wanna put my pollen inââ
You shove him away. âYou are grotesque.â
He returns in a flash. âYou love me.â
You kiss him again. And again. And one more time for good measure, during which you mumble I do against his lips, and then you remember something.
âWhy did Coach hold you back, by the way?â You pull away, tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. âAre you in trouble again?â
âNo, no. The opposite, actually.â
Your brow furrows. âThe opposite? Whatââ
âIn this lifetime, please,â Mrs. Choi hollers from the chess tables. You roll your eyes. Hyunjin smiles helplessly.
âDuty calls, my love.â
âTell me your thing later too?â
âOf course.â
You dust yourself off and stand up, making your way to the battleground. But not before you whisper to Hyunjin, ânow watch me beat up a senior citizen.â
He laughs with his whole body, his eyes the shape of crescent moons, his mouth a little rectangle.
âHypocrite.â
Hyunjin: [1 Audio Message]
This is my seventh take and Iâm not recording an eighth. What you get is what you get. I donât care anymore.
I understand if you donât wanna talk about what happened at the arcade. I wouldnât, either. I just wanted to say that you donât have to do this tutoring thing anymore. I wonât be able to fulfill my end of our deal, soâŠyeah, it wouldnât be fair to you. Youâve already done so much for us. For me.
As for team manager, youâll have to talk to Minho and Coach Bang if you wanna quit. Doesnât sound like a fun conversation, I knowâbut if thatâs what you decide, Iâll have your back. They donât scare me. Well, they do. But only sometimes.
Youâve beenâŠdistant, this week. Iâve known peace and quiet for the first time since we met, and I fucking hate it. I realized I couldnât care less if youâre my tutor or my team manager or whateverâI just donât want you to be a stranger. Maybe thatâs selfish of me to say, but Iâm tired of pretending the idea of losing you doesnât terrify me. It does. It really fucking does.
Iâm gonna end this here, because I almost just stopped recording on accident and Iâll genuinely commit homicide if I have to do all this again. Sorry that this got so long, andâŠIâm sorry about everything. You deserve better.
Come back to me whenever youâre ready, okay? Iâll be waiting.
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© đđšđ«đ„đąđ± (est. 090323) · liked this work? please consider reblogging, commenting, or sending me an ask to let me know; or, read my other writing here. thanks so much for the support âĄ
#hyunjin x reader#stray kids x reader#stray kids imagines#hyunjin imagines#skz x reader#stray kids scenarios#k-labels#skz imagines#stray kids fluff#skz fluff#hyunjin fluff#skz scenarios#hyunjin scenarios#hwang hyunjin#hyunjin#hyunjin x you#hwang hyunjin x reader#stray kids x you#*writing#*oneshot
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ćœĄ
Pairing: Nika MĂŒhl x Girlfriend!Reader
Warnings: shower sex
Summary: youâve never seen Nika this mad after a game, jaw clenched shut and eyebrows furrowed. It has an affect on you thatâs shameful, and she makes sure to remind you.
A/n: requested by VARIOUSSS anons. Luv u guys
THE DOOR SHUTS behind you loudly, and you canât help but jump at the force of it. Nika almost pushes past you and heads straight for the kitchen, downing a glass of water and roughly wiping her mouth afterwards. Sheâs staring into nothing, mind obviously racing after a disastrous game.
You know better than to say anything to her, when she doesnât preform how she hoped itâs best to keep a distance. Nika is usually good tempered and youâve always loved that about her; her practicality, her levelheaded-ness. It came in handy when you were needy and exasperated, the way sheâd simply purr your name and smile was enough to calm you downâŠeven if her fingers were inside of you.
Her pent up anger was not unheard of, but still rather alien. What freaked you out more was how much of a struggle it was proving to be to keep quiet and distant.
Nika is bulldozing throughout your apartment now, throwing her jacket on the couch and tossing her shoes by the door before roughly yanking out her ponytail in a way that you know must hurt her.
âCan you stop fucking looking at me?â She snaps, her eyes narrowing at you and finally acknowledging your presence.
âSorry.â You swallow, though you canât help but admire her. Itâs impossible to avoid the twitch in your pussy at the ferocity of her stare, her toned body slumping on the couch, or the frustrated lilt in her voice.
âDid you have fun?â She asks. âWatching me play like a loser today. Did you enjoy it?â She says now, dangerously calm compared to her earlier tone.
Nervously, you say âOf course I didnât.â To which she raises an eyebrow.
âSo it mustâve been a waste of time watching your girlfriend play like shit, huh.â Nika scoffs. âWere you embarrassed?â
âNo!â You rush out, approaching her carefully. âIâm never gonna be embarrassed, Niks. It was one bad game, shit happens.â
She doesnât have to say anything back, you already know the look on her face by heart. Itâs one anyone whoâs involved with an athlete knows, the look that says âyou couldnât possibly understandâ. That expression on her face is one that you dread.
âTell me what you want me to do Nika. How do I support you through things like this?â You sigh.
âYou can support me by backing off.â She smiles, not with her usual kindness but with some sort of buried anger. âNâ stop gawking at me like a lost puppy. Itâs fucking annoying.â
You cross your arms at this. You love Nika, but her anger makes her unreasonable.
âYou sure you want me to back off? Youâre the one who asked to come to my apartment.â
She stares at you for a moment that feels too long, the weight of her gaze growing heavier and harder to hold by the moment. You canât read her expression anymore and itâs both enticing and nerve wracking.
âSince you wanna be smart,â she says, getting up from the couch and sauntering up to you. âI can think of something else you can do for me.â
Her tone is different now. Demanding in a way that excites you. You canât help but squeeze your thighs together. âAnything you want.â You mumble. âIâll do it.â
Nikaâs eyes sparkle at this, clearly satisfied with your answer. âStrip.â
Youâre frozen at her order. Sheâs seen you naked before, but not under pressure like this. She notices your hesitation and tilts her head. âYou said anything, right?â
You nod slightly, slowly pulling off the top youâd worn to her game as well as your shorts before timidly un clipping your bra, leaving your breasts bare and nipples hardening from the new cold of your apartment. You try your best to hold her eye as you slip your panties down your legs and step out of them and towards her.
The feeling of standing there stark naked as your girlfriend soaks in the sight of you in silence is more vulnerable than anything youâve felt in a long time. You canât help but bring your hands to your breasts in attempts to cover something.
When Nikaâs lips meet yours itâs languid and calculated, her hands ripping your own from your chest as she clashes teeth with you. Letting go of your wrists, she says. âGo turn on the shower.â And when you look at her inquisitively she shoots you a smirk. âIâll be there soon.â
-
You let the water warm until steam forms to coat the glass doors of the shower, your hair now soaked through and your skin hot. The sound of the bathroom door opening and closing sends a shiver down your spine, and when the glass opens and closes you know Nika has kept her word.
Nothing happens at first, she stands under the water with you, wetting her hair and skin whilst closing her eyes beneath the shower head. You know she can feel you staring, but thereâs no reason you shouldnât with her bare body on display. Her muscles glistening and wet, her belly piercing gleaming through the steam. When your eyes part from her body, they meet her own.
When your lips clash again itâs sensual and charges with a force you can feel deep in your core. Her hands are quickly on either sides of your head when your back hits the cold tile of the bathroom wall, and you let yourself grasp at her tan flesh while she explores your mouth.
âWhat do you want me to do, Niks.â You huff out between kisses.
âBe quiet.â She says in an instant. âNâ let me fuck you.â
You nod fervently at her request, allowing her to suckle your neck and chest until youâre painted pink and purple. You know she loves to mark you, to have a remnant of her on your body is like a dream come true for the both of you.
As her mouth latches onto your tit, her fingers begin to tease at your pussy. She just barely rubs your clit, smiling at your whines and pleads.
âYou donât even deserve this.â She sighs. âYou donât care if I win or lose, you jus know youâre getting fucked anyways.â
Sheâs still teasing you, applying pressure and then taking it away at every breath you take. Your hips are beginning to buck at the stimulation or lack of thereof.
âPlease, baby.â You beg, throwing your head back. âPlease just touch me.â
Nika clicks her tongue before slipping two fingers inside of you. âKeep looking at me or else Iâll get out of the shower.â She grunts.
You hurriedly shift your gaze to her, and the sight is mesmerizing, her tongue swirling around your nipple while her fingers pump in and out of you slowly. Her hair is wet and spread out down her back and over her breasts, her cheeks are pink from the hot water.
Your legs begin to shake when she quickens her pace, watching her digits disappear and reappear into your heat as she innocently smiles. The sound of your slick is just barely covered by the loud noise of the running water that drenches both of you. You reach a hand out to the glass that encloses the shower, leaving a handprint. Nika notices this and immediately has an idea.
In an instant youâre shoved against the glass, and you gasp at the sudden contact all while her fingers are still inside you. âNika!â You exclaim. âCareful, the glass might-â
âShut up,â she murmurs, head now resting on your shoulder. Sheâs pressed flush against you as she stretches you out. âYou wonât break anything.â
You trust in her words and allow yourself to loosen up again. The sight from the other side must be immaculate, your breasts, face and hands pressed against the steam covered glass. If your roommate was to need to use the washroom for anything, sheâd surely never be able to look you in the face again.
Nika rubs the condensation from a spot in the glass so you can see outside, directly into the mirror that faces you. The scene is so lewd you can feel your orgasm building.
âLook at you.â Nika coos. Her own eyes are also trained on the mirror, on your face screwed up in pleasure, on your pussy sucking her in. âHow slutty is this?â
âNika.â You cry, moaning a mess of words as your stomach gets tenser by the minute. âIâm gonna cum.â
âDo it.â She orders, and as if clockwork you climax all over her fingers. She presses a harsh kiss to your cheek and releases you from the pressure against the glass shower wall.
You hug her underneath the stream of the shower and she laughs. âAre you feeling better?â You mumble into her neck, and she nods. âMuch better.â
âGood.â You smile. âNow clean me up and take me out of here.â
#Spotify#fanfiction#fanfic#uconn wbb#rpf#nika muhl x reader#nika mĂŒhl#nika muhl#nika muhl smut#Nika mĂŒhl smut#smut#uconn womenâs basketball#uconn x reader#ncaa wbb#wbb#wbb x reader#x reader
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:^l
#winter is the worst thing to exist ever#i feel like apologizing for being negative but also like this is my blog .... so whatever#anyways these past weeks have been a living hell i havent been so close to swerving into oncoming traffic in a while#regulsr depressions being acting up like a bich bc i havent seen anyone other than my family in weeks#i wake uo at 6 whatever am. go to work. go home. make dinner for my family. sit and read webcomics for a bit. go to sleep.#havent even been sleeping well lmao one of the onky pleasures in my life is being unconcious so this sucks#i had skating classes once a week but that last last thursday so like i dont even get that anymore#and i dont have any monry to sign myself uo for anything else bc i gotta give my mom 1k and i need to pay my credit card n student loans#anyways regular depression + seasonal depression + pmsing like fucking crazy + got in a fight w my mom again#bc shes telling me to get married lmfao but like i dont even leave the house ? im too busy taking care of her kids ?#and i dont even have money to do fun things bc im too stressed about giving her money for my shit head brother ? also i have no friends ?#friend 1 lives in a city 8 hrs away fridnd 2 scheduke doesnt line up w mine often and hes got exams n shjt also hes dealing w his own stuff#friend 3 is my ex who my mom would literally kill me if she knew i was seeing lol so like my options are very limited !#anyways either im gonna have to leave the country or kill myself soon bc i cant live like this for too much longer#i keep telling myelf like oh when the kids are a bit older i can finally leave but like goddd i cant do this for another 3 years#i have literally nothing to live for i hope i die soon#gommywords#sorry if u are one of my 3 aformentioned friends n u read this shit lol i dont have the courage or strength to talk to ppl about things
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Consider: Yubin who's your seatmate and is very professional in school but every night at 10pm you get the raciest, sauciest, spiciest nudes from her with no warning
Hell Week
tripleS Gong Yubin & Male Reader
Categories/warnings: smut, that's p much all anyone needs to know i think
Word count: 5.5k holy shit
a/n: jeez howd it get this long :nolookk: oh btw i took some liberties with the prompt not that u care heres the fuckin yubin fic :DDDD
~~~
A hand lays itself on your shoulder, the sudden contact nearly making you jump. You turn around and find Yubin clutching a book to her chest with a gentle look on her features. Gesture over to the chair across from you, all the while trying to get your heart rate back under control.Â
âMy bad, didn't see you were locked in.â She gets into the chair left of you anyway and turns her book to the same page as yours. âHow's it going?â
You stretch and groan to let out as much of your tiredness as you can, paying just a bit of mind to everyone else in the library doing pretty much the same. âDunno. Around twenty minutes ago I accepted I'm retaking this class. What's up with you?â
She giggles while her eyes scan across the paragraphs talking about desert flora and types of precipitation. She rests her cheek on her palm, âI still have a bit of fight in me, but I'm losing hope. I was hoping I could borrow some from you.â
âSorry, Yubin,â you whisper with every ounce of sympathy you had, âfresh out.â You return to your own book, yet all you do is run your eyes over the same page over and over without much staying in your head.Â
A cursory look over to your left shows you scholar-mode Gong Yubin: focused, sharp, and serious. Not that it ever got in the way of you two being friends, but when she gets like this, you know better than to underestimate herâshe's capable of plotting the downfall of kingdoms if she set her mind to it.Â
However, at the same time, you notice her distress, then immediately notice how well she hides it. It's the same slight crease of her eyebrows in freshman orientation, after midterms in Linguistics 103, and when she finally stopped putting off Geology 102. The realization dawns on you: the situation is dire now that she asks for your help while she's like this, so how could you let her down now?
âBet you I can score higher,â you challenge her. You have no good reason to issue such a proposition, but if it means giving her support how it matters, whatever embarrassing thing she'll make you do is more than worth it.
It piques her interest and a smile pulls up the corners of her lips. She side-eyes you with an excitement she didn't have just two minutes prior, and you know it worked. âIf I win,â she announces as loud as she's allowed to, âmake me thick tofu stew. The right way.âÂ
âReally? That's it?â Then you rebut with just as much fervor, âIf I win, you do three of my essays in comparative lit next semester.â
âNow hold the fuck on,â she stumbles, her eyes grown wide and her smile grown toothy, âif you're gonna raise the stakes like that, I need to think of something else!â
Your phone and hers vibrate at the same time, and your screen reads âGet your ass over to Geog.â You both pack your bags and head off to your last Geology class before finals together, and as your book takes its place in the darkness of your backpack, âFine, but I get to change mine too when I hear yours,â and the spring in her step as you walk tells you it's mission accomplished.Â
~~~
In hindsight, it really wasnât all that bad. The class review session your professor held that day helped you nail down just enough of whatever the fuck sleet might be, and while you're certain it isn't flying colors, your grade at least wouldn't be red.Â
Coming out of the exam room, you spot Yubin just seconds before she finds you, and your good deed pays for itself as she skips to approach.Â
âGot a good feeling?â There was no point in asking other than that you had to hear it from her, though the wide grin on her face was proof enough.Â
âYeah, I think barely,â she sways cutely from side to side, âand don't think you're off the hook!â She hits you light on the arm, and the most shining feature you canât ignore is her eyebrows without any sign or symptom of the crease.Â
âNot over âtil the fat lady sings, Gong Yubin,â though you know she's already won. âThree whole essays against⊠Haven't you decided yet?â
âNo, not yet, but the bet is still on!â
You relent, âFine, fine. Anyway, Nakyoungâs treating the gang to drinks tonight. Wanna come?â
âNah, busy. Laundry and stuff.â She shifts her weight from foot to foot, and you can tell sheâs giddy about what her grade is going to turn out to be. Itâs a sight for sore eyes, especially ones that have seen too many grainy tectonic plates and water cycle diagrams. âAnd why do you insist on full-naming her?â
âI know someone whose name sounds the exact same. As far as Iâm concerned, our Nakyoungâs the other Naky.â You place your hand on the small of her back and lead her away from the doorway, and she walks with you without a second thought.
âMean. Youâll have to introduce me to this first Naky, then.â You slide into rhythm with her gait, and it hits you just how relieved you are for Yubinâs worries to be over.Â
It seems such a waste, you think, that laundry is the only thing keeping her away from celebrating, so as you walk out of the Social Sciences building, you bargain one more time: âWeâll be there all night, so just come by when youâre done. I speak for everyone when I say we want you to come, please?â
She giggles again, âIâll see what I can do. Itâs not like I donât wanna be there, either. Plus,â she admits defeatedly, âweâre getting the results later, and God knows Iâd rather not be alone when it comes.âÂ
~~~
âHey, where's Yubin?â Nakyoung slings an arm around your shoulder and shoves another mug of beer into your hand. It's a welcome gesture, and it takes all of two and a half seconds for you to down half of it.Â
âShe has laundry,â you nearly shout back your reply above the music. âSaid she'll drop by if she has time.â
Nakyoung makes to yell another reply right into your ear, but decides to pull you away into one of the quieter booths in the bar. âShe's a goody-two-shoes, no? Laundry, oh please. Kaede hasn't done laundry in two years.â She takes a gulp of her own beer and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand.Â
âHey. She studied her ass off for that test. I made a bet with her and it looks like she has high spirits, but I honestly dunno what I'd do if she fails.â
Your friend takes your chin up with her finger and you realize how pensive an expression was sitting on your face. âThis is Gong Yubin. You know she'll kill it.â Nakyoung flashes a confident smile, and it reassures you almost more than your own trust in Yubin herself. âYou drunk yet?â
âNah, not getting shitfaced without Yubin.â
âCute. You know she likes you too?âÂ
âGo fuck yourself, Nakyoung. Go steal Seoyeon's boyfriend while you're at it.â
âI wish; she has him under lock and key. But I wouldn't really mind both of them,â she muses, eyeing Seoyeon in the middle of the dancefloor.Â
Just then, the devil strolls in through the front door. âHi! You weren't kidding, it's really loud in here,â Yubin exclaims with her hands shielding her ears as she adjusts to the noise.
She takes Nakyoung's seatâyou whip your head around and find Nakyoung at the dancefloor, with Seoyeon grinding against herâand picks up Nakyoung's old mug. She takes a careful sip and ends it with a relieved ahhhh, before setting it back down and getting to business. She leans in like keeping a secret, though she can't hide her toothy grin. âHave you seen your grade yet?â
âIt's out?!â You fumble for your phone, and the second it lights up, cold runs through your veinsâthe email notification is the first thing at the top of the screen. Meanwhile, Yubin calmly slides her phone across the table to you. She asks âI read yours, you read mine?â with the sweetest smile on her face, again with the slight crease on her eyebrows.
Calm your nerves, silence the alarms blaring in your head. You know she did well, absolutely certain. However, it still doesn't soothe you enough; not until you see the grades for yourself. So, as your thumb hovers over her email, your heart nearly beats out of your chest, only to seeâ
âYou got 87 percent,â Yubin states in the blandest, matter-of-fact tone you've ever heard. Her eyes move left and right over the same spot on your phone, making ultimate certain that she's reading it right. Once she is, her tone softens just enough, âYeah, 87 percent. Wow, that's good,â she sighs with relief, â... Hard to beat.â
Now her turn, you peek at her score. doing the same making sure, and then some. When you read it for the fifth time, you kick yourself mentally for being so worried and having such little trust in the genius that is Gong Yubin. âGoddamn, 95 percent.â
Her eyes widen like sinkholes as her hand flies to cover her mouth. It almost doesn't matter that you hand her back her phone; she snatches it back anyway. Her disbelief chips away at itself with every run through of the email she reads for herself, and when she's finally done, returns her shocked gaze back to you.
âYou were that scared of three essays?â you joke. The beer tastes sweeter now that your worries have gone, and as if all six septillion kilograms of the world is off your shoulders.Â
âNo, three essays is easy,â she taunts, but immediately her voice takes on a gentler tone, âso I win, right?â
You scoff at her haughtiness, but your relief triumphs over all. âYeah, whatever. What do you want?â
â... I wanna go home. This is enough excitement for one day.â
âAlright, let me take you. Tell me in the cab what you want for winning, though?â
âSure,â she says with a tiny smile.
~~~
âSo,â she declares. She catches her breath, and her face is overcome with a subtle red flush, âabout the bet.â
âYeah, about the bet.â
âI wantâŠâ and she hesitates. The cab runs over a mild speed bump, and the resulting sway seemingly knocks her completely out of focus. She gathers her resolve once more, as if every time she tries to speak she drops it and has to pick it up again.Â
âYou wantâŠ?â
It's a good couple minutes of her breathing heavily, and your concern shows itself for her and whatever she has planned for you.
âIs it illegal? What could possibly be so bad that you're hesitating this much?â
âNo, no, shut up. I'm working on it.â She takes one last deep breath, even placing a hand on her heart to steady it. âI want⊠a cum tribute.â
â... A cum tribute.â
âYes.â
âYou want me toâŠ?â
âI'll send you a photo. And do it on that.â
âYou want a photo ofââ
âVideo.â
âYouâvideo?â
âI want a video. Of you. Cumming on a photo. My photo. I'll send it to you.â
There's no way the cab driver doesn't think this is weird. Then again, he has an earphone in, so he might not be listening in at all. You get the feeling Yubin doesn't care either way, completely focused on you.Â
â... Alright. You want it this bad, fine.â
âGood. Um,â she follows, âsorry in advance. It's gonna be my first time⊠taking a photo like this.â She refocuses her attention to the buildings whizzing by outside as she says it, the telltale sign the conversation is over. Still, it lingers in your head for a little while: Yubin's first time.Â
~~~
âLook, I'm sorry,â she sighs, âjust come up with me? Please?â
You're standing with her outside her dorm, all the while the meter ticks away in the cab. The driver waits expectantly inside for you to get back, but Yubin's fingers wrapped around your sleeve make for a very difficult decision.Â
âOkay, okay, just let me pay the cab driver,â you concede, but as soon as you sum up the fare, Yubin snatches it from you and brings it over herself. She and the driver exchange a few words, ending with her waving him off and him leaving her in the dust. She waddles back with her signature grin: the one that tries and fails to hide her excitement.Â
âCan I just ask why you want it so bad?â
She shakes her head, âNope. Now shush,â as you both make the now-silent trek up the four flights of stairs to her floor and room.Â
Upon entering, you immediately notice it's nicer than most dorm rooms: huge space, carpet floors, a big window, and two double-size beds, not to mention its own bathroom. It makes you stop and wonder if you ever glossed over any signs that Yubin or her family might come from old money.
âUhh, give me a few minutes to get ready. The bed on the right is mine, make yourself at home. WiFi password by the light switch. Kaede doesn't like her stuff messed with, so steer clear.â Yubin then disappears into the bathroom, and you lay yourself down on her bed. You're made aware of how you sink comfortably into the memory foam, and of the disarming fragrance that wafts from her bedsheets and pillowcases. She's always smelled like this, you recall, but it's rather nice, you finally admit.Â
âHey,â Yubin attempts. She sits on the edge of her bed next to you, wearing a set of pajamas and no makeup at all. You always knew Yubin was a pretty girl, God knows how many times she's been asked out, but seeing her like this is new; her allure draws you in with a smile and an embrace. Shit, was Nakyoung right? Do you like her?Â
âSo⊠How do you want me?â She avoids your eyes and touches her fingertips together, a blush forming on her cheeks.Â
âDo you⊠Do you have a tie?â
Her ears perk up, âYeah, hold on,â and she retrieves a thin, striped necktie from her dresser. She places it around her neck, her fingers delicately maneuvering the fabric into an intricate-looking knot, and when she's done, she presents herself to you.Â
âTake off your top, Yubin,â you tell her, and she hands you her phone with the camera already on. Point it at her, making sure the flash is off, and start taking pictures one by one.Â
She pushes aside the tie and fiddles with the top button. It's effortless how she undoes it, and she pulls the collar apart to show you more of her. She unbuttons the next, then the next, all the while showing you her smooth skin. With half the buttons undone, she shows off her chest, showing nothing but skin underneath her top.
You take a moment to catch your breath, swallow your spit. âAre you sure about this, Yubin?âÂ
âYeah⊠Just keep going, please.â She undoes her fifth button at the very bottom, revealing her midriff and making you salivate. Must be heaven to kiss her there, when she snaps you out of it, âAre you still taking pictures?â Am I that distracting?â Look up to her, find her with the same sweet smile on her face but with a new blush decorating her cheeks.
Her last button is her fourth, and it's undone before you know it. She keeps her pajama top on a little bit longer, covering her chest a little bit more, and finally she shrugs it off one shoulder. It's nothing but everything all at once, and the split second your self-control wavers is the exact moment you leap in.
You drop her phone somewhere on the mattress; both your hands grip her shoulders as your lips capture hers. She leans into the kiss, wrapping her fingers on the back of your neck, and tiny moans escape her amidst smooches that get louder the hungrier she gets.Â
Pull the top off her other shoulder, and she finally strips it all off. However, you can't even enjoy the sight, not yet, as you draft down from her lips to her slender neck, leaving a trail of kisses on your way. She runs her fingers through your hair before holding you in place, all the while leading your free hand to her chest.Â
She sucks air in through her teeth, âThat's really good, just like thatâŠâ she moans as her head tilts to allow more access to her neck. The scent of her shampoo fills your nostrils and you feel yourself getting addicted, but not as much as to the softness of her skin.Â
She pulls you down onto the bed, and you find yourself leaning over her. Yubin lies under you, watching you intently and waiting for what you'll do next. Her tie sits right in the valley of her tits, and it drives you wild. Take a nipple in between your teeth while you fondle her other breast. She breathes heavy in pleasure, wordlessly asking for more and more of your attention and love. Her fist closes on your hair as she pushes you further onto her chest, her other hand hopelessly tugging on your pants.
It's all the message you need from her: your pants go, then your underwear, then everything else. Your cock stands hard in her sights, and the way her fingers wrap around your length is nothing short of heaven.Â
âDo⊠do you wanna do it with me?â Her question is purely innocent, without a single hint of malice in her voice. She rubs your shaft slowly, sending waves of tantalizing pleasure throughout your whole body.
âDo you have condoms?â
â... Kaede will forgive me.â She crawls down the ladder, picks out a square plastic wrapper from her roommate's dresser, and hurries to get back to you. The smile on her face as she comes up the ladder again is one of, if not the most beautiful things you've ever seen.Â
You guide her as she puts the condom on you, and the sensation of her fingers gently unrolling the rubber along your length only makes you more impatient. Finally, you hook your fingers on the garter of her pajama bottoms, and she lifts her hips to accommodate you. The fabric slides off her so easily, revealing her long, smooth legs that she seems desperate to have you in between of.Â
âGo easy, okay? I told youâŠâÂ
âYeah, your first time. I'll take care of you,â you reassure her. Line up your throbbing cock against her slick heat, feel her palm on your cheek, watch her flash that killer smile again. She bites her lip, and while you know it isn't on purpose, it makes her look sexier all the same.Â
Slide your cock into her, making sure to go slow. She shuts her eyes harder with every inch she takes of you, and when she moves her hands to your forearms and grips tight, it reminds you like a looping cycle: âGo easy, go easy.â
So you go slow and steady, staving off your lust for the woman giving herself to you. Each thrust into her sex is careful and calculated, though by the second you feel your calculations going awry. She pants at every good spot in her cavern you happen to drag across, earning her little admissions of newly found pleasure in the form of mewls and moans like a song youâd never tire of.Â
âFaster, pleaseâŠ? Youâre soâugh, fuckâŠâ And the way she pleads flips a switch in you; plant your elbows into the memory foam on either side of her head while she takes your face in her hands. Yubin pulls you in for a kiss and it means the world to her when you grow careless with your lovemaking.
âFuck, fuck, not too fast, just right, mmm,â each time you push into her cunt. The way she mumbles sweet nothings into your ear, the way she holds on for dear life and leaves scratches all the way down your back, she takes up every single thought going through your head: Yubin, Yubin, YubinâŠ
You scarcely notice how she's scratching your harder, gripping you tighter, grinding against you fasterâitâs much too late to finally hear her warning, âI'm close, I'm close, oh fuck, fuck, aaahhhh!â as she explodes with you still inside her. Her pussy clenches around your cock in all the best ways, and you savor the feeling as she rides out her orgasm. Her knuckles turn white as she grips you by the shoulders, though all you can see is how her tits bounce with every jerk that runs through her body. Yubin's eyes roll to the back of her head and her mouth hangs open, a prolonged, deep moan gracing your ears as she ambles closer and closer to spent.Â
Take a moment, let her breathe. Every gasp of air in her lungs is like a blessing, and each one steadily brings her from beyond heaven back to you. Her hands fall to her sides as she pants out her delirium and replaces it with tiredness, and once she's stable she flashes you that killer smile again. It pulls on the corners of her mouth, showing the tiniest amount of teeth, though her eyes are nowhere near open. Plant a kiss on her cheek, then her neck, then receive her giggles once you stay and rest right on her pulse.Â
âYou good? Still alive?â
All she can do is nod, having had every last ounce of her strength sapped. She lays motionless under you, save for her chest rising and falling with her breathing, and you know she looks to you for comfort and security. You take another moment to bask in her afterglow; she's never looked more gorgeous.Â
âHey,â she whispers, and you swear it's the most tired you've ever heard her, or anyone for that matter. âYou good?â
âYeah, I'm okay. Are you sure you're good?â
âYeah. Thank you.â She pulls you back down and plants a kiss on your cheek. Her lips linger for a second, as if she's taking in your scent made hers. You stay like this for a good while, just enjoying each other's presence, relishing in the warmth of a body that gave itself up for the other. You don't even notice when you slumped over onto the mattress beside her, but her head on your chest felt like the rightest thing in the world.
âWe're not done, by the way,â she prods.
âWhat? Why not? Aren't you tired?â
ââTiredâ isn't part of the bet. I still want that tribute.â
And you remember, you have a job to do, a debt to pay. Itâs between your common sense and your lust for the hottest girl in the world right now, and there is a clear winner.Â
Pull back from her, off of the bed, and plant your feet on the floor. Firm and resolute, tell her: âFine, on your knees.â The flush on her face deepens to an igneous red, and she scrambles to the floor in front of you.
âYou're so pretty, Yubin,â you muse as you point her camera back to her face. Make sure the flash is off, and once you push the big red button to record, your other hand immediately takes her cheek and guides her to your tip.Â
Yubin's eyes flutter shut as she inches her lips closer and closer to your cock. The first contact is heavenly; just gentle kisses and licks from a complete novice pretending to be an expert at this sort of stuff. The way her tongue glides over your shaft, the way she plants kisses all over your cock with the tiniest sucks, the way she does all of this with her eyes gracefully shut makes for a killer video for her to get off to later. A blowjob from a girl like this comes once in a lifetime, so you resolve to give her everything she'd ever want from a tribute like this.Â
A moan escapes you, and she picks up that she's doing it right. With your subconscious approval, the hand on her cheek pulling further her in, she takes your tip in her mouth. Her tongue works overtime in running all over the head, paying special attention to your slit, making absolutely sure her spit coats wherever she can reach. She takes in more and more of your shaft, pressing her tongue on the underside of your cock as she does, all the while her cheeks hollow out like her life depends on it.Â
Tiny vibrations from her throat only add to the pleasure, sending shivers up your spine and your hand to the back of her head. For the first time, she opens her eyes, and the sight is something to behold: she looks up at you with the biggest, roundest, most pleading eyes, the epitome of cuteness if not for your cock she oh-so-diligently services to get what she wants.Â
Yubin takes you in just a bit deeper, slightly turning her head and savoring the way your length fills her mouth, when you hit the back of her throat, causing her to gag. She pulls back abruptly as a tear forms in the corner of her eye, and you have half a mind to pull out entirely to make sure she's okay. Instead, she never lets youâshe takes your cock again, shooting you another pleading look before she shuts her eyes and bobs her head onto your cock again and again.Â
Luckily, you pick up on her message; Snake your fingers through her hair, grab a fistful, make her yours. A moan rises from her throat once again, and she steadies herself with her hands on your thighs in preparation. She's ready.Â
Pull her in as far as she can take, and it's a good most of your shaft before she gags again. Offer her no breathing room, bob her head onto your cock over and over, all the while more of her slobber coats your length, some of it falling off her lips and onto her chest and lap. She never fights, only takesâsoon the gagging is replaced by an obedient, rhythmic gluck-gluck-gluck than you're sure even she'd find hot if she could think straight. Instead, her phone picks up every sight and sound for her to enjoy later, while you both enjoy each other now.Â
It's everything all at once: the sight of Gong Yubin's plump, sexy lips around your shaft, the feeling of her tongue relentlessly dragging over every inch of your cock, the sound of your tip meeting her throat again and again while her groans fight their way out. âYubin⊠I'm close,â you confess, but with her eyes still shut and her tongue still going crazy all over you, you don't think she heard. So make the decision yourself: yank her hard off your cock, rub your shaft right against her delicious lips. Once she exits her daze, she takes your dick in her hand and rubs all across the length. Tears fall from the corner of her eyes and her lips give off the slightest tremble, but she's resolute in what she wants to earn from you.Â
It takes no time at all until you reach your limit. It's the best handjob anyone has ever probably given, but it's that one last kiss from her, right on your tip, that sends you over the edge. One last groan, one last jerk, one last tug of her hair, and your orgasm hits. Your cum shoots out in ropes, all landing on her face and tits. She's determined to receive everything from you, so it's only right to give her exactly what she wants. She shuts her eyes again, but her mouth stays wide open to catch whatever she can of itâshe never stops jerking you off even as your cum falls onto her eyelids, her nose bridge, her forehead, her chin. Yubin savors every moment and every drop, burning the memory of bliss into her mind as you coat her face with your love.Â
Your orgasm finally dies down, and you realize just how much she squeezed out of you. You're sure no one has ever looked lewder, your cum smeared all over her face, yet she proves you wrong when she picks up a fingerful of it to take into her mouth. She licks her lips, apparently loving the taste, while you love the sight of her acting so sultry for you.Â
Stumble back onto the bed, take Yubin with you. Both of you are out of strength, breathing heavy, and in the middle of processing that you just painted her face with cumâthat she asked you to paint her face with cum. You barely notice the stars swirling in your eyes, but your sense of the situation comes back just quick enough to avoid things getting awkward.Â
âI think I wanna shower, so you should wash up first,â you mumble, still staring at her beige ceiling, and you can feel she's panting and doing the same without even seeing her.Â
Wordlessly she gets up and her carpet-muffled footsteps grow quieter as she heads to the bathroom. A door shuts, a handle creaks, a shower gushes to life. Your brain sits idle, making no attempts to form thoughts other than acknowledging the shower turning off and on while she bathes. It's calming in its own way, you supposeâtaking a bath is one of the normalest things in the worldâas if what you just did with her was a close runner-up.Â
An unknowable amount of time passes, and a fresh, citrus-scented Yubin emerges from the bathroom again. She dries her hair with her towel as she makes her way to her hair blower, but not before shooting you a gorgeous smile and a head tilt to the bathroom to let you know it's your turn.Â
~~~
Leaving the bathroom yourself, you find a dark bedroom, save only for a yellow lamp shining against a nearby wall. Yubin is sitting up in her bed and scrolling on her phone, and once she spots you, she beckons you over.
âLook, funny,â she whispers with a giggle, and she shows you a clip of a guy much too excited about a truck looking like Optimus Prime.Â
âYeah. Hey, listen, I'm pretty tired,â you attempt. In no way is this a lie, and you're sure she's tired too. You bet she wants nothing more than to finally go to sleep and end what should be a perfect night on a high note.Â
âTotally,â she agrees, âcome on in. It's cold.â She lifts up the covers and looks over to you expectantly. Not that it dumbfounds you, but it throws you for a slight loop; she literally just said it was cold.Â
âWhâ I'm heading out, is what I mean. You should get your rest, too.â
Yubin's eyes take on a softer expression, âOh, you're not staying over?â
â... Did you want me to?â
âYeahâŠ?â
Your eyes lock with hers for what seems like half a second and a million hours at the same time. You're stuck in place, still in a stalemate of a staring contest with her, and you're not sure even she knows what the two of you want out of the situation. Her expression turns into one of concern, and her arm holding up the covers falters just a bit. Fuck, you think, window's closing.
Make your choice, have no regrets. Get in the covers with her, and she lets them drop to snuggle up to you. Once the both of you settle, her head on your chest and yours on one of the fluffiest pillows in the world, she blurts out quietly: âYou fucked up, you know.â
She navigates to her gallery and finds your video of her, and skips to a part near the end. âYour dumb ass stopped recording just as you were about to cum.â And the video did show that: Yubin rubbing your cock, eyes shut, tongue out and ready for your load, and the video stops.Â
âShit, sorryââÂ
âThis wasn't the bet. I wanted a cum tribute, not a facial. You need to send me a proper one,â she muses, âor take a proper video.â
Now that stuns you. You wonder how interesting her ceiling is for you to stare at it so much, but she snaps you out of it partway through by snaking a hand up your shirt and settling it right above your heart. Reciprocateâit only feels rightâwrap an arm around her shoulders and pull her even closer. An exhale from both of you, and one last exchange of words:Â
âOkay. Tomorrow?â
âCan you go again that soon?â
âIf it's you, of course.â
âDon't guys need to recharge?â
â... I'll handle it.â
~~~
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ౚৠâ summary | request -> "SAW UR POST AND HEAR U WANTED REQUESTS!!! paige x gf!reader where reader is uconns wbb media girl and it is SMUTT, paige like reading reader ab like âdid u enjoy taking pics of me out thereâ BUT SMUT WHERE READER ALSO GIVES BACK TO PAIGE BC WHY R ALL THE FICS ENDING AFTER READER COMES? WHERES PAIGE??? (iâm going insane)"
â word count | 2k
â warnings | NSFW under the cut! praise (lots of it), so much sweet tension, fingering, face-sitting (hooray!), paige being a cocky ass, teasing, just MENTION of a strap
â taglist | @xocherishxo @iienstein @yazmunson @euphternal @boiliatfu and here's a link to my taglist if anyone would like to join!!
â ev's notes | this is my first time writing wlw smut so if yall have any feedback, it'd be greatly appreciated!!!!!!!!!!!! i hope yall enjoy mwah
"WE'D LOVE TO STAY BUT..." Paige shrugged, a cocky smile playing on her lips as her hand found the small of your back, beginning to lead you to the door.
As Paige's hand settled on the small of your back, her touch sent a shiver down your spine, her cocky smile igniting a fire within you.
KK and Ice exchanged looks, smirks playing on their lips. The game had went very well, winning 72-64. You'd gotten some pretty good pictures of the team as you usually do, but your focus was merely just on your girlfriend this time. You couldn't help but feel proud, especially with the shots you managed to capture of the team in action.
But right now, your attention was solely on Paige, her presence captivating you more than anything else. The thrill of victory mingled with the excitement of being with her, making the moment feel all the more exhilarating.
"Make sure to use protection!" You heard KK shout as you closed the door behind you, hearing the now muffled laughter of Paige's teammates' laughter.
You rolled your eyes playfully at KK's innuendo but she wasn't very far off. You didn't miss the way Paige wet his lips as she pulled you closer into her chest as you both began to walk to her car, leaving the restaurant the team decided to celebrate in.
Paige's fingers interlaced with yours, her touch sending shivers down your spine as you savored the closeness between you. As you reached her car, Paige turned to face you, her eyes sparkling with mischief as she leaned in close and planted a sweet kiss on your lips.
You couldn't help but lean closer, letting her take complete control over the kiss. But before it could lean to anything, Paige leaned away as your lips formed a pout.
Paige laughed at your neediness as she gripped your hand. She leaned in once more, her lips brushing against yours in a teasing caress.
But before the kiss could deepen, she pulled back, a playful smirk tugging at the corners of her mouth. "You're too cute when you pout," she teased, her voice laced with affection as she leaned her forehead against yours, her breath mingling with yours in the cool night air.
"You looked good tonight," you spoke softly as you looked up at your girlfriend. "Like, really good."
Paige's smirk softened into a warm smile at your compliment, her eyes sparkling with appreciation as she gazed into yours.
"Thank you, baby," she replied, her voice soft as she brushed a stray lock of hair from your face. "You looked sexy, with your little camera."
You rolled your eyes playfully averted your gaze as she laughed, before she gripped your face to get you to look at her. "That's the only word I could think of, sorry."
"Really? Not beautiful, pretty, gorgeous?" You teased as she let go of your face with a huff.
"Oh, come on, you know what I mean," she teased, her fingers tracing a gentle path along your jawline.
But before you could respond, she leaned in close, her lips brushing against yours in a needy kiss. "You're all of those things and more," she whispered against your lips.
A smile tugged at the corners of your mouth as you returned her kiss, reveling in the warmth of her touch. "Can we go home, please?"
"Of course, baby," she whispered, your voice barely above a breath as she reluctantly pulled away, the need to be close to you urging you forward.
With a shared smile, you both settled into the car, the engine humming to life beneath you as Paige drove off into the night. As you headed home together, hands intertwined, you felt your heart begin to race.
The drive felt longer than it should have, every squeeze of your hand making you feel more desperate. And Paige could tell but she didn't give you anything except the occasional rub of the hand, which made you go insane.
With one hand on the wheel and the other clasped firmly in yours, Paige drove with practiced ease, her confidence making you feel something only she could ever manage to do.
With a knowing glance, Paige turned onto your street and parked as quickly as she could. As Paige cut the engine, the silence that followed seemed to stretch on indefinitely, each breath heavy with anticipation.
Neither of you wasted any time as she guided you up the stairs of your apartment, giving your hip the occasional squeeze. The walk up the stairs felt like a blur, her touch sent sparks flying through your body. With each squeeze of your hip, Paige wordlessly conveyed her desire, her eagerness matching your own as you walked to your apartment door.
As you reached your apartment door, Paige wasted no time in unlocking it, the click of the lock echoing in the stillness of the hallway. With a shared glance, you both stepped inside, the warmth of the familiar space enveloping you like a comforting embrace.
The moment the door closed behind you, the atmosphere shifted, charged with a sense of desire. Without a word, Paige closed the distance between you, her hands finding their way to your hips as she pulled you close.
The heat of her body against yours was intoxicating, igniting a fire within you that threatened to consume everything in its path. With a hunger that couldn't be denied, she responded in kind as your lips crashing together in a fervent kiss that left you breathless.
"I know I already said it, but you looked so good." Your hands found her hair as she planted messy kisses all over your neck and jaw, her grip tight on your hip.
The sensation sent shivers down your spine, igniting a fire within you that burned brighter with each passing moment. With a soft chuckle, Paige finally pulled back slightly, her eyes meeting yours with a glint of desire.
"I'm glad you think so," she murmured, her voice husky with desire as she pulled back slightly to meet your gaze. "But you, baby, you're on whole different playing field."
She gave your lips one more kiss before she guided you to your bedroom, closing the door behind you. Paige sat on the bed as she pulled you into her lap, as your lips crashed into hers. You couldn't help but grind yourself against her lap, soft whimpers leaving your lips.
But Paige didn't give in, she just smirked against your lips as she held your hips. "Relax, baby."
You couldn't help but roll your eyes. "Shut up,"
Paige's eyes widen, a smirk on her lips as she gave your hip a harsh squeeze. "You really wanna talk to me like that?"
"Maybe I do," you retorted, your voice laced with playful defiance as you leaned in closer to her.
She then pushed you off of her as you scoffed, disbelief in your expression. You almost began to complain before she gripped your arms and pushed you on the bed, a soft moan leaving your mouth at the roughness.
She practically ripped your shorts off as she got on top of you, the cocky expression still evident on her face. Paige's lips found your neck as she began to give you wet kisses all over. Your eyes shut at the sensation, another quiet moan leaving your lips.
Her hands then moved the bottom of your shirt, taking it off as she began rubbing your hips. She sat up to take in your body, a prideful smirk on her mouth she squeezed your hips tighter. You felt yourself get red at her gaze, especially since you were half-naked and she was fully clothed.
"Poor baby," she whispered as she leaned and gave you kisses at the crook of your neck, your eyes shutting in pleasure as you became grinding against her hips.
Paige gripped your thighs and pried them open as she began rubbing your cunt through your underwear. "So fucking wet and I barely touched you. Do I make you that needy, huh, pretty girl?"
Her filthy words sounded like music to your ears as you moaned in affirmation, not trusting your voice to speak up. She then moved your underwear to the side, her middle finger finding your clit as she began rubbing it harshly.
The new sensation made your back arch into her hands, your eyebrows furrowing in pleasure. "Oh, fuck,"
"Yeah, pretty girl? I make you feel so good, don't I, baby?" Her words came out soft like honey as she applied more pressure to your clit, more needy moans coming out of your mouth.
It was embarrassing how quickly that knot in your stomach began tighten, how it'd only been a minute since she'd started and you already felt yourself come close to the edge.
And of course, Paige could tell. Her movements didn't falter as you came undone, the knot in your stomach snapping as you let out a cry of pleasure that echoed in between the walls of your bedroom.
You were breathless as Paige shoved her fingers into your mouth, and you sucked them clean. She smiled as she pried her hands away, replacing them with her lips.
Paige could taste you on your tongue, making her moan. She pulled away and began to move off of you before you gripped her hand, neediness evident in your tone. "I need you, please. Let me make you feel good."
Paige's smirk widen at your request, climbing back on top of you. "Mm, you sure?"
"Yes, baby. Please." You whined as Paige looked down at you, uncertainty in her gaze before she saw the desperation on your face. She smiled softly at you before she took off her shorts and underwear, throwing them off to the ground.
You were practically drooling at the sight of her, all of her. Your hands found her thighs as you pulled her on top of of your face and before she could even process it, your lips were in her cunt.
"Oh, fuck." Was all she could get out as her eyebrows furrowed in concentration. God, your mouth felt so good she couldn't help but behind to grind against your mouth.
She moved her gaze to look at you, her hands finding your hair as she began to run her fingers through your hair. She felt her breath hitch as you began focusing on her clit, her head falling back in pleasure.
"Good girl, fuck." She groaned out as your hands moved moved to rub her hips. Her other hand met yours, holding it as she began grinding faster against you. "Yes, baby. Keep going, oh yeah."
Your tongue moved faster against her and she felt herself coming closer and closer to the edge. "Just like that, just like that. Fuck."
Her grip tightened on your hair as she came, her moan filling your ears. She was breathless, trying to catch her breath as she finally opened her eyes to meet your cocky smirk.
She let out a breathless chuckle as she rolled her eyes, getting off your face. "You should do that more often."
"You should let me do that more often," you countered as you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand.
Paige laid down on the bed, her chest still heaving as she kept her gaze solely on you. "I just don't wanna like, suffocate you."
"That would be a good way to go, though. And I know you like it," you smiled as she pat the spot next to her. You shuffled next to her, moving your head to lay on her chest.
"You're right, I like having that much control over you." She joked as she pulled you closer. "It's hot."
"You're hot," you replied with a playful grin, your voice laced with admiration as you leaned in to steal another kiss from Paige's lips.
"You're hotter," Paige countered as she pulled away from the kiss for a moment.
"You're the hottest,"
Paige scoffed as she rolled her eyes. "We really gonna play this game right now, baby?"
"Yep, whoever wins gets to the wear the strap."
Paige's expression shifted as she glared down at you. "You mean my dick? Yeah, um no."
âł make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !
âł thank you for reading all the way through, as always âĄ
#wcbb x reader#wcbb#paige buckets#paige bueckers x reader#paige bueckers#paige bueckers smut#paige x reader#paige bueckers fanfiction#paige bueckers x oc#paige bueckers headcannons#paige bueckers fic#uconn huskies#uconn wbb#uconn womenâs basketball#ncaaw#ncaa womenâs basketball#ncaa wbb
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heartthrobs (i don't belong to anyone else) | s.jy + p.sh
pairing: manager! jake x actress! reader x actor! sunghoon
summary: jake seems to lose his patience as you keep being shipped with your series costar, park sunghoon. an argument between the two leads to a night to prove who you truly belong to.
warnings: smut, established relationship (with jake), jealousy, possessiveness, threesome, unprotected sex, face sitting, oral (both f and m rec), vaginal sex, rough sex, degradation, creampie, dom! jake, dom/kind of switch! sunghoon, sub! reader, some jakehoon action.
note: this is sort of a spin-off of the queen's guard? but not really bc u don't need to read it to understand this, it's more of a mention. also, this is my first threesome/poly fic ahhh hope it's okay. like always, feedback is greatly encouraged and if you have any questions let me know. ^^
wc: 5.2k
âSo what was it like filming all those sex scenes?â the interviewer asked, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.Â
The crowd erupted in excited noises, now that the panel was discussing what they had all come to hear. The panel was a long white table, and sitting on it were the rising stars of the hit historical romance series, âThe Queenâs Guardâ.Â
Lately, everyone in the world seemed to be obsessed with Park Sunghoon and you. You two played the main characters of the show, and your chemistry was so strong that people began mixing reality with fiction, thinking you two worked amazingly as a real-life couple when in actuality, you were already in a long-term relationship.Â
You laughed awkwardly, looking over at Sunghoon for help in replying, but unlike you, Sunghoon always seemed to like these kinds of questions. He was definitely guilty of playing into your PR performances where you two pretended to be utterly enamoured with each other.Â
You raised your microphone to your lips, âWell actually, filming those scenes is much less glamorous than they seem on screen. Itâs quite mechanical; it gets sweaty and hot and very awkward. Sorry to burst your bubble everyone, but itâs not really the environment to get turned on in.â A couple of people laughed at your answer, including the interviewer.
âSpeak for yourself. I think itâs quite sexy filming with you,â Sunghoon smirked at you. This caused screeches and cheers to come from the room. You rolled your eyes at him, as though to tell him to tone it down on the flirting. Sunghoon always flirted with you so obviously it was almost too much to handle. You looked over at the edge of the stage to see your boyfriend sitting there, face stoic and still, not showing any signs of emotion.Â
You knew it bothered Jake how much people shipped you with your co-star, even if he tried not to show it. You tried to not care too much, given it was a part of your job, but you always felt a bit guilty when you had to act this way for the camera.Â
The team behind the current press tour toldyou and Sunghoon to play along into the bit and act as though the time you spent together while filming has made you two fall in love. It was indeed a great marketing strategy, but Jake was possessive and liked for people to know you were his.Â
Surely he was not happy with the new wave of people convinced that your real boyfriend was Park Sunghoon.
You spoke up again, âHoon is only joking. Honestly, I think we both have gotten used to filming sex scenes, but especially in the beginning, it was very awkward. Do you guys recall the scene in season one? It was in my bed chambers withââ
You didnât even have to finish your sentence before the crowd erupted in excitement, knowing exactly what you were going on about. You were of course talking about the scene in the previous season where your character loses her virginity to Sunghoonâs. It was incredibly intimate and a fan-favourite scene due to the chemistry and sexuality. It was a great payoff to a rather slow and burning build-up.Â
âIf I may add something,â Sunghoon spoke into his mic, making everyone go still. âThat was actually the second scene we ever filmed together.â
âNo kidding!â the interviewer gasped into her mic, âSo you guys stepped foot on set and immediately just started taking your clothes off?âÂ
Sunghoon threw his head back to laugh, and you covered your face with your palm to hide your flustered expression. God, this was embarrassing.Â
âIt was a very awkward scene to film,â you said. âYou can imagine, we werenât very familiar with the set and the story yet, but I believe the director chose to film it so early on to see how our chemistry worked together. I suppose we did well because we werenât replaced by other actors.âÂ
Sunghoon chuckled at your remark. âWe make a great pair, her and I,â he said cheekily, and you knew for sure that clip would run wild on social media after people got their hands on it. Sunghoon was always a PR machine.Â
You looked back again at your boyfriend. Jake was seething as he sat restlessly on the backstage of the panel. There you were, looking beautiful as ever, answering the ever-so-annoying questions and playing pretend lovers with Sunghoon.
Jake never disliked the fact that you were an actor. His jealousy never stemmed from the fact that you had to kiss and pretend to have sex with your co-stars, he knew that was your job and he respected it.Â
âThe Queenâs Guardâ was actually quite a guilty pleasure for him. He would sometimes turn on an episode when you werenât around, especially because of your disdain for watching projects you were featured in.Â
He quite liked the show. How could he say he didnât enjoy watching you getting railed in a historical setting? You always looked so sexy in your tight corsets that made your breasts press up against your chest and your gilded historical gowns. Not to mention all the close-up shots of your ass and thighs when you would ride Sunghoonâs character that always managed to give him a hard-on.Â
He supposed the story was also interesting.
Ever since your new rise to fame and the success of the show, he knew that a whole new wave of people would be obsessing over you. It was a given when you looked that beautiful and sexy, but at the end of the day, he was the one you came home to, and he was the one who made you see stars while bouncing on his cock every night.
The problem for Jake was the parading of your and Sunghoonâs potential relationship. Everyone online seemed to love you two together and wanted you to get together, and he hated that.Â
Come on, people. It literally says right there on your Wikipedia page, âPartner: Sim Jaeyunâ since four years ago. Not Park Sunghoon, nor anyone else. How much more clear could it be?
For fuckâs sake, heâs Sunghoon's manager and he was the reason he even got the role in the series, and this is how he repays him? By making fuck eyes at his girlfriend and flirting with her on camera for the whole world to see?Â
He knew that Sunghoon had developed an attraction to you during the filming of the series, that was obvious enough. You may have not realised it because of how loyal and devoted you were to Jake, but this was more than a PR performance for Sunghoon. The bastard so obviously wanted to fuck you and it made him look ridiculous.Â
âJust before we wrap up this panel,â the interview chimed, âcould you two give us some insight into the third season? I heard some talk around the town that filming will begin soon.â
âYes, thatâs correct. We will be off to Scotland in a few weeks to shoot the upcoming season. We really canât reveal much, but what is it that you would like to know?â Sunghoon spoke up, raising his eyebrows in curiosity.
You shook your head, knowing that Sunghoon just opened a can of worms with that question.Â
The interviewer smiled mischievously as she said, âOn a scale of one to ten, how steamy is this next season about to be?â People in the room began cheering in anticipation.
âThirteen,â Sunghoon said confidently. There were whistles and exclaims heard throughout the room, and it truly felt like the crowd erupted in excitement. You giggled at all their reactions, but he wasnât even remotely wrong; the next few seasons were about to be intense. âI swear Iâm not exaggerating. I got the chance to read the script recently and had to change my pants like three times.â
You covered your face with your palms at his crude comment, shocked by its implications. No wonder people loved Sunghoon so much, he really played into the bit.Â
The interview ended shortly thereafter, and before you could stand up to get off your seat, Sunghoon came up to you and held out his hand for you to take. You blushed, knowing that everyone in the room was watching your interaction. You placed your hand into his palm and you two walked off together side by side.Â
As you walked off the stage, you didnât fail to notice the way Jakeâs jaw was clenched and he was throwing daggers at your and Sunghoonâs intertwined hands. You swiftly let go of Sunghoonâs hand and began walking up to your boyfriend.Â
God, he looked so hot when he was jealous. You tried to lean up to give him a peck on his cheeks, but he grabbed you by the waist and pressed his lips onto yours. You were startled as you felt his tongue plunge into your cavern, and you were mortified as you accidentally let a whimper slip past your tongue.
The backstage was mostly empty except for Sunghoon and a few staff walking around minding their business, but you werenât used to Jake doing such public displays of affection. He slipped his hand down to your skirt, taking a handful of your ass, and before your mind could trail off and forget where you were, you pushed Jake off you. Your breathing was shaky as you tried to compose yourself, your panties already getting wet from a mere kiss.Â
Perhaps you got excited at the thought of getting so intimate with Jake in front of others, especially Sunghoon. You shook your head to snap out of your thoughts. You shouldnât have been thinking of other men that way.Â
âMight as well piss on her to claim your territory,â Sunghoon remarked with a controlled smirk. God, Jake would do anything to slap that smile off his face.Â
âWell, she is my territory, so maybe you two need to cut back on the camera flirting,â Jake said with a frustrated tone. One of his arms was still wrapped around your waist, wanting to clearly show Sunghoon who you really belonged to.
âThatâs quite dramatic of you,â Sunghoon said, taking a step closer to you. âYou know what this industry is like, Jake. Itâs all for show.âÂ
âI think I can tell when a guy is trying to fuck my girlfriend,â Jake said, letting out a sigh of frustration.Â
âJake,â you said warningly, placing a hand on his chest. âYou need to relax. Like Sunghoon said, this is just PR. He doesnât seem me that wayââ
âNo, I do want to fuck her,â Sunghoon said with a knowing grin. You could feel Jakeâs hand tighten around your waist and you snapped your head at Sunghoon in shock. That was forward of him. âBut just âcause I want to doesnât mean Iâll act on it, so you can calm yourself.â
âDonât tell me what to do, Park. I gave you this job, your career is in my hands,â Jake sneered.Â
âAre you saying that if I keep flirting with your girlfriend, youâll have me blacklisted?â Sunghoon asked, not seeming threatened by him in the slightest. In fact, he seemed to be enjoying this petty brawl.Â
Jake didnât say anything. Instead, his focus was now on you. You looked up at him with an annoyed expression, but he couldnât believe that you were stupid enough to not realise that your own coworker was attracted to you.Â
âPractically everyone who watches the show wants to fuck Y/N, itâs not like Iâm the only one. And yet you only get bothered about me, I wonder why that is,â Sunghoon pretended to ponder. âIs it because you view me as a threat?â
âIn your dreams,â Jake sneered.
âI definitely have had dreams about the three of us, in case youâre asking.âÂ
You gasped. Surely you three shouldnât be having this conversation so out in the open like this.Â
Jake walked up closer to Sunghoon. The look in Jakeâs eyes was a mix of anger but also curiosity. Although he was possessive to a fault, something about the thought of making Sunghoon watch while he fucked you open was enticing.Â
Maybe he would even let Sunghoon fuck you a bit, but only to prove to you how much superior Jake was at pleasuring you. If he couldnât make the world understand that you were his, perhaps he could make Sunghoon understand how obsessed you were with Jake.
He could already imagine it in his head, the astonished look on Sunghoonâs face as you cried and withered as Jakeâs cock plummeted inside you, not being able to handle his sheer size and the meticulous way in which he fucked into you.Â
âYou think you can fuck her better than me?â Jake chuckled, amused at the thought.
Sunghoonâs eyes shined, knowing where this conversation was heading. âI think sheâd enjoy herself plenty.â
âDeal. Iâll make you watch as I fuck her open in front of you, and then youâll understand why sheâll always choose me.â
âAre you trying to convince me or yourself?â Sunghoon spat.Â
Jake rolled his eyes, holding himself back from hitting the egotistic man in front of him. He turned around to look at you questioningly. âWhat do you think princess?â he asked.Â
Your eyes drifted back between the two men towering over you. Youâve always loved Jake so much that it was hard to imagine another man in your life, let alone your bedroom. That being said, now that Jake and Sunghoon were staring at you like this as if you were prey and they were your predators, you felt a wetness begin to form in between your legs at the anticipation. âI-I,â you stuttered, âI thinkâŠâ
âSay the word, Y/N, and Iâll leave you two alone,â Sunghoon said reassuringly. As much as he wanted to get into bed with his hot manager and even hotter co-star, he didnât consider himself a home wrecker.Â
Jake cupped your chin. âI can tell by the look on your face you want it,â he said. He was all too familiar with your body language and knew by the glint in your eyes that you were interested in this, even if you werenât before.Â
You cleared your throat, trying to gain back your confidence so as to not look too nervous about this whole arrangement. You looked up to Sunghoon, your faces now a mere inches away from each other and said, âLetâs do it. See you tonight in our hotel room.âÂ
Jake and you were sitting in the back of your Uber, driving back to your hotel room from the bar. He didnât have much to drink, but the flush on his cheeks gave away how tipsy he was. You couldnât help but admire how beautiful he looked.
While you were busy staring, Jakeâs head was leaning down towards his phone as he was scrolling through his social media. He knew he was being stupid and dramatic, but he couldnât help but look up your and Sunghoonâs names on Twitter, only to find some of the most annoying posts he could imagine.Â
After the showâs fanbase got their hands on the clips of the panel, they ran wild with it.
âThe way Sunghoon looks at her đ„čâÂ
âI canât wait for Sunghoon and Y/N to recreate the tower scene in S3. Itâs going to be so fucking hot đ©â
âI just know that Y/Nâs man is losing it rnâ
That last tweet couldnât be more right. Jakeâs mind was reeling as he read the tweets and watched the edits, all shipping you and Sunghoon together. It was like he was falling down a rabbit hole of misery. Before he could click on one more edit of you and Sunghoon together, he felt his phone being snatched away from his grasp.
âYouâre being ridiculous, Jake,â you said sternly, although unable to hide a small smile from how adorable your boyfriend was.Â
âThey know that you have a boyfriend, isnât that crazy? Maybe if they thought you were single Iâd get it, but come on,â he groaned, shoving his face into his palms.Â
You began rubbing his back, âI donât belong to anyone else.â
He looked over at you with loving eyes. âI know, princess. I just wish everyone knew that.â
You scooted closer to him and placed a soft kiss on his lips. âWe donât have to do this if you donât want to. You donât need to prove anything because I fucking love you.â
Jake clicked his tongue and grabbed you by the wrist, bringing your palm down to his crotch. You could feel how hard he got already. âDoes it seem like I donât want to do this? It honestly really turns me on to think of showing that asshole how well you take my cock.â
âOh yeah?â you smirked. âWhat if he ends up fucking me better than you?âÂ
âTread lightly, Y/N. No man on this earth can make you as wet as me. Nobody will ever make you scream, clench or cum like I can. Iâve ruined your body for anyone else,â he said through gritted teeth.Â
You clenched your thighs together to relieve your arousal, and Jake smirked at the sight.Â
You began trailing your hands towards his zipper, trying to free him of his trousers, until he swiftly stopped you. âJake, I want your cock in my mouth,â you whined, giving him the doe eyes that usually worked in getting him to do anything you wanted.
Unfortunately, the eyes didnât seem to work on him as he shook his head and said, âAs much as I want to, princess, save it for later. Weâre almost there.âÂ
When you two finally arrived back at your hotel, it was like you were both shaking in anticipation. You kept wondering what it would be like to be fucked by Jake while another man watched, and Jake was excited at the prospect of showing Sunghoon exactly why you were his.
After you swiped the key card and entered your room, you almost screamed as you saw a figure standing in front of the kitchen table.
âSunghoon?!â you exclaimed, your mouth gaping open. âWhat on earth are you doing here?â
Sunghoon had a mug of tea in his hands and looked at you confused. âYou told me to come here,â he said matter-of-factly. âDid you already forget?â
âLet me rephrase: how did you get in here? Did you ask the front office? God, thatâs so creepyââ
âI gave him an extra key card,â Jake said from behind you. âIt was supposed to be for emergencies, so yeah this is pretty fucking creepy.â
âThis is an emergency. My balls have been blue all day while I waited for this, so come on, get going,â he said, waving his hands towards the bed.Â
You were left astonished, while Jake just grabbed you by the waist and pulled you through the room. He sat you down on the lush mattress, and there you were, looking up towards Jake and Sunghoon while they eyed you like you were their last meal.Â
God, tonight would be the death of you.Â
âYour dress is beautiful,â Sunghoon said, his eyes glinting.Â
You smiled at him warmly, âThank youââ
âTake it off,â he demanded. The dominating tone sent blood rushing to your cunt, and your mouth was left agape as you continued staring at him.Â
He cupped you by the chin, tipping your face upwards. His voice was cold and annoyed when he said, âDid I tell you to freeze and stare? I said take it off.â
Fuck. Holy fuck.
Jake smirked to himself, knowing how much you loved being pushed around during sex. âCome on, princess. Give us a show,â Jake chimed.Â
You slowly stood up and looked down at your black mini-dress. It was made of silk and didnât have any straps. Jake loved you in strapless dresses as he got a clearer view of your cleavage, and it was so easy to slip it off you when he wanted to fuck you quickly in public.Â
You reached behind your back to try to unzip your dress but had trouble reaching the pull tab. Jake could see you struggling, so he walked behind you to help you take it off. He slowly unzipped it, savouring the way the silk fabric pooled down your body.Â
He finally pulled it down to the floor, and now you were completely bare and open to the two menâs taking. Sunghoon gawked as he noted that you werenât wearing a bra or a pair of panties underneath your dress.
âYou fucking slut,â he whispered, âwhat if you got caught? What if you flashed some bastard and he got to see your pretty little pussy?â
âI bet sheâd like that,â Jake said from behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and trailing his hands down to your glistening cunt. He used two fingers to begin swirling around on your clit, which caused electricity to travel up your spine.
âN-No!â you moaned.
âNo?â
âI only want you to see my pussy. Only you two,â you managed to say while your mind was already running wild at the intimate touch.Â
Jake latched his mouth onto your neck, sucking on the sweet spot right above your shoulder. You let out a sigh, which quickly turned into a groan as Sunghoon leaned down to begin sucking on the other side of your neck. The feeling of two pairs of lips was foreign but a very much welcome feeling. It felt like your mind was about to explode at the pleasure erupting in your body.Â
Sunghoon split from your skin for a moment to catch his breath and looked up at Jake with enticing eyes. âYouâre quite handsome up close,â he said through a mischievous grin.Â
Jake rolled his eyes. Given how long Jake had been Sunghoonâs manager, he knew how flirty the man was around everyone, men and women alike. It no longer fazed him when he said things like this.Â
Sunghoon leaned towards Jake, his eyes asking permission to take their staring contest to the next step. You watched carefully as their faces began coming closer together, excited at the thought of them kissing each other.Â
Jake nodded, and Sunghoon swiftly latched his lips onto Jakeâs. Jakeâs fingers were still inside your pussy, and at the same time that Sunghoon sucked on his bottom lip, Jake slipped his fingers deeper inside you, making you whine in pleasure. Jake sighed into the kiss.
Given his line of work, Sunghoon was very much used to kissing and making out with other men. Just last year he landed the role of a bisexual vampire, who also happened to be a bit of a whore. Thatâs all to say, he had plenty of practice with the lips of other guys, and it came like second nature to him now that Jakeâs was on his.
You reached behind you to grip Jakeâs biceps to help steady you. Jake was getting harder as he could feel your slick begin spilling down his fingers.Â
When Sunghoon let go of the kiss, the smile on his face was like that of someone who won an award. He looked so proud of himself, you almost felt amused.Â
âGet on the bed, Sunghoon,â Jake said demandingly. Sunghoon did as he was told, laying himself comfortable on the mattress, his head resting up against the silk pillows. God, he was such a brat.
Jake picked you up by the waist and laid you beside Sunghoon on the bed. He pressed one more kiss to your cheek before telling you, âGet on top of him. I want you to sit on his face.â
You raised your eyebrows in shock. Didnât he want to make Sunghoon watch while he fucked you? Perhaps he changed his mind after that kiss. You supposed Sunghoon really did have a way with his lips and tongue.Â
You shakily began straddling his chest and manoeuvring yourself closer to the bed frame. Now there it was, his face had a clear view of your pussy. It was as though his eyes were shaped like hearts as he stared at your cunt, already wet and puffy from the fingering it got from Jake. He needed to devour it immediately.Â
Sunghoon grabbed your hips roughly, pulling you down to latch his mouth around your nub. You let out a yelp at the shock of contact. This wasnât a position you were all too familiar with, and the way Sunghoonâs tongue lapped around your hole was making your thighs quiver.Â
âFuck!â you moaned, throwing your head back.
Jake had to hold back from just jerking himself off at the sight of you like this, so beautiful with your body flowing with pleasure.Â
You could feel yourself reaching your climax, and the sensation was all too strong. You began to try to lift yourself above his head, trying to get away from his tongue, before you felt a palm harshly strike you in the ass, causing you to yelp out.Â
At first, you thought it was Sunghoon, but both of his hands were still wrapped around your hips. No, this was Jake wanting to punish you for trying to get away from what he told you to do. He landed his palm on you one more time before saying, âIf you try that again I will tie you up and eat you out until youâve cum enough times that you can barely think. Sit on him, properly this time.â
You felt tears begin to well up in your eyes at the mixture of pain and pleasure, then felt Jakeâs hands be placed on top of Sunghoonâs. You whined as you felt Jake push you down harder onto Sunghoonâs face. You were left breathless at the feeling of his wet mouth and his nose on your clit.Â
âHeâs going to suffocate!â you said worriedly. Jake was exerting a lot of pressure on your hips, and you were terrified that Sunghoon being enveloped in your thighs and pussy would make it hard for him to breathe.Â
Sunghoon raised your hips up ever so slightly to say, âIf I died with you cumming on my lips, Iâd die a happy man. Donât worry your pretty head.â
Just like that, he continued the assault on your pussy and you could literally feel his devious smirk on your cunt. You tried to be more involved then, rocking your hips back and forth as he thrust his tongue into your cavern.Â
Fuck, you swear you were seeing stars.Â
âJakeyâŠIâm going to cum. Iâm coming.â
âCum on his lips, princess,â Jake whispered behind you. âLet yourself go.â
At his instruction, you cried out in pleasure as you felt a fire ignite in the low of your abdomen. Your vision faded to white as you released, and both Jake and Sunghoon held you steady as you let the orgasm wash over you.Â
Sunghoon may have continued eating you out for a while longer, causing a bit of overstimulation. You continued crying out in pleasure before Jake pulled you off of Sunghoon, and gently laid you down with your back on the mattress.Â
Your breath was shaky and you already looked fuck out, streaks of wet mascara running down your warm cheeks. Jake loved it when you looked like this.Â
Jake quickly plunged his hardened cock inside you, not even giving you a proper moment to take a break. There you were back again, legs spread wide for him, ready to take whatever he gave you.
Even with the preparation that Sunghoon gave your pussy, you still squirmed at the way your walls stretched to accommodate him. At first, he tried to slowly sink his cock into you. He then felt his tip touch your cervix. His hips were pressed against yours and he couldnât bring himself to go any deeper.
He began rocking himself into you, making your walls clench tighter around him at the pleasure of his cock rubbing on your walls. The way his tip slammed inside of you so deep was making you drool.Â
You looked over to see Sunghoon join Jake in taking off his trousers and moving over closer to your head, his cock a mere inches away from your face. You opened your mouth wide to let him push himself inside. He groaned at the feeling of your wet mouth wrapped around his cock, even if it was only the tip.Â
You were losing track of where you were and what you were doing, as your mind was becoming hazy at the feeling of Jakeâs cock drilling so deep inside you, as well as the struggle you had trying to take Sunghoonâs in your mouth.Â
âFuck, baby. Just like that. You look so gorgeous with my cock down your throat,â Sunghoon hissed.Â
It was hard to breathe through your nose given how exhausting it was taking two cocks at the same time, but you managed to push through and sucked Sunghoon deeper into your cavern, loving the way his dick felt inside you.
Maybe you were just as insane as Sunghoon because the thought of dying like this, with two cocks shoved inside your holes and overstimulated beyond repair, did not sound like such a bad way to go.Â
âIsnât she just beautiful?â Jake said, caressing your waist to comfort you, as though his cock slamming inside you wasnât the main reason why your body was shaking so much. Your eyes burned as you felt more tears trail down your face, and Jake reached up to brush them off.Â
Jake and you came at around the same time. He spilt his seed deep inside you, loving the way your cunt clenched around him and milked him over every last drop. His cum felt so warm inside your hole, it was almost comforting.Â
âInside or on her face?â Sunghoon asked, feeling himself reach his tipping point. He was going to cum at any moment.
Jake smirked up at him, âMy dirty girl likes to swallow, doesnât she?â
You tried to nod your head, but even that was too exhausting so you let out a muffled noise of agreement. You felt his cum spill inside your throat, and you swallowed as much of it as you could before he pulled out and let some of it spill on your chest and face.
Your eyes were pink and shiny as you looked up at Sunghoon. Surely, you didnât have the voice to say anything, but you hoped that your pleading eyes were enough to signal to him that you wanted him to come closer to you.Â
And there you laid. Jake was behind you, his softening cock still deep inside you as he tried his best to keep his load from spilling out. Sunghoon was in front of you, facing you as the side of his head was lying on the silk pillows.Â
All he could do now was just admire how beautiful the two of you were, and think about all the other things he would do with you for the next few hours, perhaps even the next time you three got together.Â
Now that Sunghoon got a taste of Jake and you, he wasnât sure if he could ever let go.
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