#i hope this like makes sense lmao?? im bad at language i was just gonna drop some sketches in where i couldnt describe things lmao

[redswaberkez]

I want your corkscrew hcs!!! just rly anything. It can be fun stuff like his favorite soda or fave movies. Maybe some stuff specific to living in Russia that I'd have no idea was a thing otherwise if u got anything like that! I feel like all my hcs for him will be so lacking because I know so little about living there, but living in Sweden has rly upped my love for learning all the lil mundane differences in daily life from country to country

Okay small and specific shtop hcs leggoo

OUFFF my time has come i guess....finally expirience living in *there* would be useful lmao FIRST of all i wanna mention this one russian song in goin postal playlist

i think its a tribute in shtopors honor. bc like why else rws would put this ru song in there???

ANYWAY.

im not really good at explaining my feelings so im gonna throw a bunch of memes that has STRONG SHTOP VIBES. Memes are the ultimate association language right? im not apologising for klukva (stereotype memes) bc?? original dude is lit basic american trash so errything he knows abt russia is a bunch of stereotypes. makes sense ig

ok now here goes ru memes💥💥💥💥💥

(2nd pic: your pigs grunt violates the laws of the Ural (including shutting the rotten mug up, p.18) and i told my bois about it. I hope, your identity will be established. When crossing the border of Ekaterinburg you will kicked the fuck out with bicycle chains. This is Ural, not Moscow) (3rd pic: [i] hate the rednecks)

Ok NOW ONE SPECIFIC THING. once i mentioned that hes an airbone and here, when the national airbone day comes, its a common joke that the ones who served in it will jump into a fontains like PARATROOPERS WOOHOOOO. yea.

Tbh its really hard to tell where is the diff between your culture (i.e ur everyday life) and others when theres nothing to compare with. BUT. ill try

His concept of personal boundaries is really strange and fucked up compare to others bc here [russia] we r suspicious as hell (imo.) but also like a big family. but the cracked one. Or kinda sorta like that. BUT at the same time he is ready to help everyone who need it and he will not ask any questions. Also he would let live his friends in his small flat if they needed to. It would be really tricky tho. Also shtop is really REALLY LOUD. in every sense of the word

Shtopor knows how to survive in harsh conditions. How to make not-that-bad-edible food out of canned food. Just google navy-styled macaroni! (or Makarony po-flotski) yeass NAVY styled aaand hes the "army one". Out of all dudes at least shtop knows how to COOK. blini, macaroni, syrniki, okroshka, - all of it actually cheap, easy and real tasty. LOOK AT OKROSHKA I MEANNNN. cold soup of raw vegetables. ok.

Shtopor one of those dudes who is a coldfucker. He is actually low-temperatures-proof. (small preface) shtop is an eastern orthodox. AND ANOTHER ONE russkaya zabava. When the baptism of jesus comes we have a tradition to cut out the ICE HOLE in the river AND JUMP INTO IT 👍 or another similar thing when ur hot after the banya you fall into a snowdrift. (banya is like sauna or steam bath. u rarely go to the banya alone.) ((public banyas divides to male and female, commonly yall naked in there, now imagine shtops in public banya and his bi neuron activation haahahah)) (personay i dont really like public banyas cuz its PUBLIC)

Another notable mention i think shtop is actually dgaf what to whatch on tv but he likes to talk with it. That sofa commentators type of ppl u know em. After a really looong day he would mix vodka and beer, sat down in front of tv and gave his VERY IMPORTANT COMMENTS ON LITERALLY EVERY THEME IN THE WORLD in until he fell asleep.

Russian curse words is veeery various, it can contain a lot of definition for one word, but be different on vibes and occasions to use it. U can say an entire sentence without a single cultural word in it. And therefore shtop complains about the lack of swear words in english and often swears in Russian. "--da blyaaaaat' kak zhe zae- -- OH gimme this gun. you started speaking russian which means things are bad." ill brb later with more things but now im kinda tired rn so here u go.

[carlos-in-glasses]

Hii im so glad to hear you like my comments! at some point i worried i was being annoying lol. as for my writing its just been some drafts, i used to be into making visual poems and im gonna start doing em again! though i do also love to have little narrative pieces so im probably gonna rewrite some old stuff and maybe finally write some of the stories in my head! some of which ARE tarlos, i want kidding when i said its scary to read carlos fanfiction as a hispanic person, the steriotyping and bad spanish are REAL 💀 so ig ill try to be the change i wanna see and write some good carlos fics in the future LMAO. also! just wanted to say that in ur rythms fic carlos writing in both languages is such a mood, to me words flow easier in english but then i can get more poetic in spanish, wby? do you write in other languages? id love to hear abt ur process/what you like! ur writing is really amazing and just cozy? lol. hope you have a great day! ALSO yeah gringos dont really use wpp that much! crazy lmao

🐦‍⬛

🐦‍⬛ Hello!! Oh my goodness don't you worry - it's my absolute pleasure to receive feedback like yours! Amazing that you're going to get back into visual poetry!!! Poetry that you can SEE?!! Sounds brilliant. I could never. I love art. I love artists. It makes me so happy that there are so many different kinds of creatives in this fandom. It seems to me that if an arty-type discovers Tarlos...art will happen at some point. It's impossible to resist! ALSO so exciting that you have some narratave works afoot, including Tarlos fic!! I'm certainly relieved to hear that the Spanish in Rhythms rings true enough - I don't speak other languages, so honestly if the Spanish is decent it's a result of research and just trying really really hard to do right by the Reyes fam. I'm also cognisant to what 'poetry translation' actually means. A published translated poem is not literally word-for-word translated, but the meaning translated. I knew that Carlos writing a poem called The Wrestler in English wouldn't necessarily mean a Spanish poem called El Luchador, so it became El Angel. Because that (in my head) is indeed the added romance (as in actually romantic, not Rome) and poeticism that writing in Spanish brought to Carlos. English is a hard language in every sense. It's harsh. It's made up of aspects of many others. It can be beautiful but also ugly, but you can also get away with a pidgin version of it in a way you might not be able to with other languages. I kinda liked the idea of Carlos leaning into the ugliness of English and then turning the same concept into something else with Spanish, and leaning into how one thing can be two different things at the same time. Which is true of so much of life. But that's Carlos' process lol. Mine is more slapdash. I plan for all it's worth, but then writing goes off on a merry journey of its own and I have to wrangle it back. Imagine a string of pearls snapping and going everywhere, and scrabbling to scoop the pearls up. Imagine an orangutan eating the paint of an abacus. Imagine a golden retriever running downhill on an icy road. That is my brain. Also 'rules' about writing? Fuck 'em. Don't tell me not to use the words sigh and chuckle. Don't tell me not to use adverbs (oh adverbs my dearLY beloved). I will use whatever words the characters need in order to be themselves in the story I'm telling, and I will use everything in my broken and shy little soul to make them as real and loud as I can for the reader. I appreciate all fics that do the same - and I can feel it when they do. In fact, that's probably why I've found so many fics that I've LOVED so much more than actual books I've bought off the shelf. The warmth, the non-compliance, the experimentation, the absolute passion. I have a creative writing degree and masters specialising in poetry and fuck it, some of the best writing I've seen in my life is right here in the fandom.

Thank you for your kindness re. my writing and for finding it cosy!!!!!!! Amazing!!! And thank you for teaching me a thing or two about whatsapp. I confronted my friends @lemonlyman-dotcom and @thisbuildinghasfeelings about it after I saw your comment and I was like wtf do you mean Americans don't use it??? It's an American company???? and they were like....sorry??? And then explained the situation. Anyway, for about an hour I really couldn't accept nor face it. But I've calmed down now and you've reminded me I need to go back and edit. But then we lose the fun of Wrestling Whassuppp??? Which was a PLAY ON WORDS!!! Maybe I'll keep it anyway... ❤️

Me trying to explain my writing process:

[tonberry-yoda]

Hey there! :DD

I saw your requests are open and I was wondering if I could get an (romantic or platonic, it’s up to you) Overwatch Matchup? Headcanons, or a small drabble if you prefer (cooking or shopping together?)

Sorry, this is gonna be all over the place, but:

I’m a demigirl and gay asf (women iykwim). A bit taller and kinda chubby? My hair is pretty short and I have a tendency to impulsively dye it with wash out colours. I’m also an audhd kid lmao. Born and raised in Austria, so I’m fluent in german as well as english (I know a tiny bit of spanish too!)

I live for cute things!!! It’s round and soft? I need it!But I come of as kinda scary because I dress more punk/alt, which is a shame because I’m touch starved and want a hug real bad. I also have a very strange sense of humor, which I’d need a partner who wouldn’t mind that.

I love vocaloids and goth music and I think that sums up my personality perfectly haha (my favorite musician rn is Shilpa Ray!!!) I listen to music pretty much 24/7.

Ideally, I’d like someone who’s fun to be around, yet still respecting of my boundaries. My love languages are gift-giving, parallel play and physical touch and I’d need a partner who would be excited about randomly getting leaves or just memes from me. I love baking and cooking for people I care about!! I also draw a lot, alongside other creative things like sculpting, photography, cosplay and writing. I tend to stim when really excited and if someone joined me in doing that, it’d actually make me want to marry them or keep them in a glass terrarium to observe their activities. I also just LOVE shopping, even if I don’t end up buying anything.

To sum it up: scary looking chubby girl with a love for cute things and way too many hobbies who makes too many jokes for their own good

I hope that’s alright? Also no pressure to write this at all!!

(Btw I love your writing style!!! <3)

hi there!!! this was perfect!! it was super easy for me to pick a character for you!! and seriously, thanks for asking for an overwatch matchup because i do not do enough overwatch requests lol. alright im rambling, now onto your character!

the character I chose for you is...

MEI!!

like women you say??

LIKE CUTE THINGS YOU SAY???

this is the cutest woman in town!

plus y'all are both a lil chubby making cuddling THE BEST

like cuddles are the absolute best with this girl!

she will 100% help you dye your hair

round and soft you say???

here's your new girlfriend!!

she doesnt mind if you come off as a little scary, if anything, she's obsessed with the dynamic of the both of you

she's super cute and wears just soft outfits and you look all grunge and punk

it's awesome

she likes the music you listen to, but it definitely isn't her go to, so just know that she will be putting on lofi and you will be groaning in the background, waiting for the aux back lmaooo

she LOVES to laugh

she doesnt mind a weirder sense of humor because she definitely has a goofy one

like those really random gen z memes are her shit

send her those at 3am and she will be laughing for hours lmfao

SHE NEEDS PHYSICAL TOUCH AS MUCH AS YOU DO

i mean, she is cold all the time, so warm cuddles are what she needs the most

expect a lot of random hugs from out of nowhere

she loves baking and cooking just as much as you do (that's what your mini fic below is gonna be about tee hee)

please tell her about your hobbies

she loves to see you excited

and please ask about hers

she loves talking to you for hours <3

she thinks it is sweet when you stim, so she will grab your hands and jump in the air with you when you're both excited

definitely not bothered by your adhd at all

she will help you when you need it most

she will 10000% go shopping with you and even end up buying you stuff even when you say she doesnt have to

and you will do the same lmaooo

just know that she loves you with all her heart and couldnt ask for a better girlfriend/partner!! <333

NOW FOR THE MINI FIC TEE HEE

MINI FIC

You giggled and watched Mei as she was fully focused on icing the cake you two had made together. Her tongue was slightly sticking out to help her focus and she had a dot of white icing on her nose.

She pulled back for a second to look the cake over and you needed to help get rid of that icing that was annoying you so much. You kissed her on the nose and licked off the icing making her giggle. "Ew, don't lick me!" She said jokingly, lightly pushing you away.

"You had icing on your nose." You said, taking the piping tool from her to finish up the details on the cake.

"Did I really?" She asked, her face going a bit red.

"Yeah, but it was cute." You stopped icing for a second to give her a kiss on the cheek, making her smile.

"You know, I think this is the best cake we've made yet," she said, putting her hands on her hips proudly. "What do you think, babe?"

"Oh, definitely!" You finished icing the cake, satisfied with your work and stood to admire it for a moment before taking a picture.

"Are we gonna eat the crap outta this thing?" Mei asked, already grabbing a fork.

"Oh hell yeah we are!"

~~~~~

matchup rules --- pinned post

@tonberry-yoda

[coldslaws-gear-station]

WOOO CONGRATS ON WAKING UP AT A REASONABLE TIME 🎉🎉🎉🎉

Also PICA N PEAK. I actually have Pica myself and the amount of shit I chewed on as a kid is unbelievable. Paper, plastic googly eyes, pumice stones, pebbles, nail filers, glass (yes I chewed on broken glass), and of course ice. I've gotten a handle on it as I've gotten much older, but I can't resist a good craving for the crunch ice gives me every now and then

And yeah BENGA NO 😭 It makes sense because of the effects of starvation but it still makes me sad. I think he's incredibly self conscious about it too, he's in complete denial of being infertile. During his childhood it was expected that when you get too old you're supposed to replace yourself with your kin, it was expected to have kids and since he can't it makes him "useless"

Combined with the fact that he's an extreme closeted pansexual due to the fact that gays and such were heavily looked down upon and ruthlessly attacked for the reason stated above (not like they treated women any better...) it makes him horrifically emotionally constipated.

He knows he likes men, he has a debilitating crush on UD Ghetsis (bi Ghetsis canon) that he shoves down into a deepest part of him he can find, he just can't grasp it. In his mind this is something that'll pass, he doesn't actually like him in that way, it's just because of the warmth and affection Ghetsis had treated him with (aka treating him like a human being) has him confusing platonic attachment that he's been starved from with romantic attraction. He doesn't want to be useless, he can be useful, but every small piece of affection UD Ghetsis mindlessly gives him serves to remind him that he's in it deep

Backtracking to the previous "imagine if NHP and UDU met" scenario, I think at the sight of NHP Alder not only being happily married to a man but also having his own kin and family would have UD Alder stewing in red hot anger and jealousy. It's not fair, why can't he have that? It's not fucking fair. Deep down all he wants is to raise his own and to create a family, but unfortunately that's just simply a luxury life did not afford him

- 💌

THANK YOU!! im already tired and wanna nap 😭 but it's a start

DAMN. i used to eat weird junk as a kid and teenager, idk if it was often enough to actually label it as pica but i loved licking metal, chewing bark, tried rocks a couple times, and would pretty frequently eat dandelions (not sure if they even count because they technically are edible and have nutritional value but eating them right out of the ground with 0 processing is a little odd). also as an anemic bastard i love my ice. glass sounds scary

alder needs like. the emotional equivalent of miralax LMAO there's so much to unpack . denial everywhere. also shoutout bi ghetsis. at least this one isn't weird about it (sorry rh ghetsis). i get that feeling of confusing enjoying platonic affection for romantic feelings. idk alder i hope you figure it out and maybe kiss someone about it. as a treat

NO. LITERALLY. THATS GOTTA SUCK. so we have udu alder jealous of nhp and nhp nat jealous of udu. guys PLEASE therapy asap. doesn't help that nhp alder lowkey fumbled big time with ryuki, i could imagine udu thinking that nhp doesn't even really deserve the family he has if he's gonna fuck up so bad as to lose his son. i mean he still has benga (and by extension of marriage, iris, and by extension of adoption, nat and penny) (anthea and concordia are here too of course but will never quite consider alder as a fatherly figure the way n does, to them he's moreso that family friend that's so close you just start referring to them as actual family) (but i digress) but messing up with ryuki was a huge thing

all these acronyms it's like we're speaking a forbidden language

[fandom-blackhole]

Episode 5 Episode 5 Episode 5 Epi-

Before episode thoughts:

Anyone else missing the like world building intros? I am lol

Like I miss soaking up the new info about the infection

Honestly its not a big deal but I wanted to mention hlthat I miss them lmao

Also 100% not ready for Sam and Henry, im gonna fucking ugly sob bc im emotional and on my period

Anyway episode thoughts ->

Ngl this is how I imagined take overs happening when we saw the aftermath in the game

SIGN LANGUAGE!!!

Honestly I might betray someone for an apple in the Apocalypse...

Tbh kath is giving BIG bad vibes

Perry my beloved (biased)

Why is she the leader? Like it kinda doesn't make sense to me

Sam is so cute istg

Jumpstart lol (I jumped so I dont blame henry)

Henry is the best big brother

Crayons 🥲

And paint!

He is not coming back, rip doc

That hug took me OUT 😭😭😭

Henry gave sam the mask 🥲🥲🥲

Th÷ knife as a mirror 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Use Joel as a distraction, go!

Sammmmm, he's too cute omfg

Ooo are they following Joel and Ellie?

Smart get them to help, sorta like he convinced them in game

That's a weird fucking tone 😭😭😭

Henry you're such a noble at this but I love it

Theyre sharing food

Sam and Ellie bonding

KC federa being absolute nightmare adds up ngl

Just saying henry making a point of being nonviolent is like alot, especially with being a black man, I won't go into detail bc im just a white woman but like ik thats a big deal

All the infected in the tunnels is 👌👌👌

Side point, as someone who lives in KS and is like a ~2 hr drive from KC they did a really good job at making the city look like an over grown KC, bc if im not wrong they didn't shoot this in KC

ISHHHHHH

Omfg im gonna cry

Oh man, i hope the bloated isn't in ish's place, that'd really hurt

The drawing of Ish

The comicccccc!!!

Endure and Survive 🥲

I like that this place kinda fits the toy store as well

Aw the soccer

Henry sold put kath's brother to get drugs for sam... 🥲

Or am I the bad guy? No, honey, no you're not, you did what you had to keep family alive and tbh in the Apocalypse you do what you do

Is she only the leader bc of her brother

I think the kath v henry storyline is very much paralleling tlou p2 storyline

Dude I just have this feeling about perry, I honest to God think he actually cares about the people

Kath is kinda just set on vengeance

I hope the bridge scene, or something like it, still happens

Omfg i HATED this area in game, it sucked ass

Unfair Joel got to the house so much easier lmao

Is Joel gonna have to use the sniper like in the game

Ope. Of course he was with kath

Fuck is that the "run" truck, yup it is

Come on joel!!!

YESSSSS suck it bitches

Keep running omfg

Infected? No, kathleen

Kill kath kill kath kill kath kill kath

Oh fuck this bitch "kids die"

He is worth EVERYTHING

Come on joel do somethingggggg

Oh shit, the boaters coming isn't it!!!!

Use the distraction, fucking gooooo

Fucking shit

There's the infected Joel had to shoot

Thats my smart girl

BIG BOYYYYY

Perry RUN

Ope there's the in game kill animation

Oh thats a kid clicker.....

Ellie you should not have wasted your ammo

This is how sam gets bit isnt it

Joel fucking kill her, nm YESSSS

And just like that, KC is lost :)

Rip my boy perry, I liked you <3

Joel inviting Sam and Henry

I'll tell him in the morning 🥲 will you?

Is he gonna ask about the infected?

Im scared of ending up alone. Oh my baby girl 🥲

Ope there's the infected question

OH FUCK HE SHOWED HER

Oh and she's showing him!!

Oh no no no

Ellie my girl....thats not gonna work 🥲

Oh my fucking God I'm gonna start sobbing

I think she knows its not gonna work and he's gonna change

Oh henry...

Oh henry.....

Oh hes burying them

Joel looking towards the bridge is a good nod to what happened in the games....I wonder if they'll be crossing it and something happens like in the game 🤔

Im sorry. No one talk to me

Im broken istg

Trailer thoughts ->

JACKSON

TOMMY

IS THAT MARIA?! SHES SO PRETTY <3<3<3

Behind the scenes ->

Having them be bonded over being two of the few that speak ASL

The rep of deafness is beautiful

I love the nod to Ish, it was one of my fave parts of the game

These are decisions that love makes, not rationality. Beautiful

The infected were so well done, props to the actors and the coach

The child clicker killing kath was poetic, especially after what she said about kids dying

I think the blood not working on sam is gonna effect what happens with the fireflies later, and why she believes joel

Maybe idk

Anyway, great episode, im a fucking wreck, Henry and Sam you both deserve the world and I hate that it wasn't given to you

Ok ok ok The Last of Us episode 1 thoughts below!

• CLIMATE CHANGE?! (Love that honestly)

• Not me sobbing at the intro (I HOPED they'd do something like the games intro so this was a perfect surprise)

• Joels shirt is inside out 😭 (ok noticed this before it was mentioned)

• Let the man have his coffee Sarah

• Gabriel as tommy?! Sounds almost identical omggg

• The neighbors 😭 (oh I understand now.....)(I like how they changed the changing/infected neighbor scene)

• Desert Storm???? 👀

• Sarah fixing the watch instead of getting him a new one 🥺

• Sarah's backpack is so cute omg

• The dog 🥲

• "Drugs. I sell hard-core drugs." Happy screams

• Joel and his shitty movies smh (hope this is ref later with ellie and joels movie nights)

• Dammit Tommy, jail, really??

• Yo wtf grandma. No joke the cordyceps out of her mouth?!?!?

• The truck scene was done so welllllllllll

• Jimmy's place!!!

• The planes (OMFG THE PLANE)

• Ooo the car crash separating them, I approve

• These bitches CREEPY (Love that they have no fine motor control)

• Joel begging 🥲🥲🥲

• That is infact a small child (😭😭😭)(🥲🥲🥲)

• DONT YOU TWENTY YEARS LATER ME YOU BITCHES (both 2014 Hannah and 2023 Hannah)

Sarah's death was sadder here and I stand by that

• The amount of time it takes to change depending on where your bit poster is 👌👌👌

• Joel doing actual work in the QZ is kinda really funny to me (sewer maintenance) (now this is more like it....wait drug dealing??)

• MUSICCCCCCCC

• HANGING?????? IN THE QZ??? BY FEDRA???

• Tess 🥰🥰🥰

• Ooo truck battery and not guns (what about your guy?- He answers to me FUCK YEAH HE DOES....WAIT oh fuck explosion! Well fuck you anyway Robert)

•  ELLIE!! (SHE HAS HER EYEBROW SCAR! And her sense if humor) (veronica?) (unchain my child please)

• Oooo message operator! (TOMMY!) (Slavers 🤔)

• Joel planning a trip already is genius (wtf you doing drinking and doing pills?!)

• The watch 🥲

• Those walls are THIN or that baby is LOUD

• Marleneeeeeee

• I love all the yellow wires, ik in the game it was an obvious way to show you where to go, but u like that its been added to the show

• Oh damn, rip unnamed firefly Marlene talked too, you're dying in the capital (kim) (ope her ear)

• Tell me to look for the light and ill break your jaw 🥰🥰🥰

• Ellie getting water on her face lmao

• The knife 🥺

• Atleast the wrapped the handcuff so it wouldn't hurt her

• Don't talk about Riley bitch, I will fight you

• I like all the water dripping, good touch

• Joel talking construction 🥰🥰🥰

• Ok but that wallpaper in the hallway with the dead Robert, I want

• Well ellie you tried, but Joel is better

• Ellie is in fact feral, love her

• Give ellie her knife dammit (yes ellie I agree that was an asshole move)

• Ope don't mention Tommy

• What are they capable of?- alot ellie, alot

• You all talk it out but please remember I am bleeding out 😭😭😭

• God I love my husband

• Ellies shoes squishing 🤢

• Bill and Frank 🥺

• Your watch us broken 🥲

• Ok but why is all the wallpaper cute in this episode?!

• Ellie figuring out the radio code shes so smart i love her

• That door (or whatever you wanna call it) was hidden perfectly omg

• Worst time to take a piss (hahahahaha honestly fuck that guy)

• Pedro's eyes 😩 (oh fuck wait hes fucking that guy upppp)

• PTSD!!!

• THE RADIOOOOOOOOO

• THE RADIO AS IT PANS OVER THE CITY AND WE HEAR INFECTED?!? so good

• The trailer!

• The city landscapes 😩😩😩

• Frank!!!!

• There's no halfway with this, we finish what we started *indistinct screeching*

If you read all this PLEASE send me Joel thoughts, I wanna talk about my husband! Also if you want me to explain any of these ASK MEEEE!! Also, Also, I'll be doing this for every episode so if wanna be tagged in these just if be down 👉👈

[kirnet]

32 for benny/raiden!

32. things you said right after hello, taken from this prompt list here

1.8k words

Benita’s nailless fingers burned as she dug them into the guard’s cheeks, but she was well practiced at ignoring the pain.  It might have been more threatening if they hadn’t been ripped off one by one by the torturer a few minutes before; she could have clawed, drawn some blood to mix with the guard’s pitiful tears and mucus. But ultimately it didn’t matter. Her torturer lay dead on the floor of her cell, and if his sniveling was any indication, this guard knew exactly what she was capable of.

“P-Please,” he sniffled, bringing a hand up to grab Benita’s wrist. “I just work here! I have a -”

“The storage room,” she interrupted, her voice hoarse from all the screaming, barely audible over the blaring alarm. The guard whimpered as she pushed against his face. “Where is it?”

“And you’ll let me go?”

She didn’t deign to answer him, instead letting the light build behind her eyes. “I will not ask again.” 

Moments later Benita had her answer and the guard’s body lay spasming on the floor, the electric charge she had forced through his skin still making its way through his muscles. She dropped to her knees and rifled his service belt, passing over his firearm with disgust in favor of a pocket knife. It was much smaller than the spear that had been forged to fit perfectly in her hand, but she would make it work.

Pushing down the pang of sadness at the thought of her sacred weapon, she started down the corridor, her bare footsteps muted by the alarm. Anti-Themi reinforcements would be arriving soon, with Benita their top priority. If she wanted to leave this station alive, she would need what remained of her armor. With any luck, the prison break would engulf the whole station and her fellow escapees would be willing to give her a ride out of here.

And if not, she could make them.

Despite the urgency, she slowed as she passed her neighbor, Cell 46. It was open and empty. Odd. Hers had been the only other cell opened on this block, though most of the cells here were empty. This was the maximum security ward. The “Gallows,” as the guards had called it when they dragged her sedated body to the cell, was reserved for either the most dangerous inmates or the ones with the most information to be tortured out of them. Benita had the misfortune of belonging to both groups. Who escaped here?

She shook the thought away. Storage room. Armor. Spear. Escape. That was all that mattered.

The guard had spoken true, and soon Benita found herself at the down the hall from the storage room. The journey had been easier than expected. More and more detainment blocks opened as she moved, overwhelming any resistance she would face. The sedatives they kept her constantly pumped full of dulled her senses, but adrenaline and pure rage had given her enough power to dispatch any guard that had crossed her path. The knife has been abandoned, imbedded in an enemy’s chest. She had no more need for it. Not with her spear within reach.

“I need the-” 

“Could you hold on a fucking minute?”

Benita paused outside the ajar door. Guards? Or other prisoners?

“My father will hear about this.”

“Not if we’re all dead. But please, keep screaming and alerting any guards who weren’t already aware of us.” A new voice. So not guards. 

Remembering her hunting training, Benita silently inched the door open. The storage room was filled with stacks of crates, most of them carefully organized and arranged in aisles. The exception was in the middle of the room, where four people riffled through individual crates that had been brought down from the taller stacks. Two of them, a pale redhead woman and a dark haired Asian man, were dressed in ill-fitting guard uniforms. The other two, a beautiful dark-skinned woman in a lab coat and a tan man in the same prison jumpsuit that Benita wore, were quietly arguing as they searched. Recognition tingled at the back of her brain, but she couldn’t quite place where she knew the other prisoner from.

The redhead gasped and pulled something from the crate, the excitement on her face falling as she held it up. “It’s a… cylinder?” 

The light surged behind her eyes again, matching Benita’s rage. A cylinder? It might appear as such to the ignorant, but that weapon had been created by the finest Justiciar craftsmen for- Benny relaxed her fist. This should not matter to her anymore. She had forfeited all claims to any Themi glory. Still, she wanted the spear back.

Dropping low, she stalked forward behind the redhead, the others too invested in their own tasks to notice. Rising, Benita wrapped her arm around the redhead’s throat, her arm just short of crushing her windpipe. Her victim gasped and dropped the collapsed spear, which Benita snatched from the air with her free hand. Sucking in a breath of her own, she tucked the spear under her arm and pressed her palm against the woman’s head. Her companions seemed not to have noticed, their noses still in their respective crates. “If you comply, I will not harm you,” she whispered in the captive’s ear. She could feel her heart hammering through her throat.

The man in front of them, still seemingly unaware of her presence, gasped and tore something from the crate. “Holy shit,” he muttered as he held it aloft. Benita’s grip tightened on the woman’s neck. In his hands was a light breastplate scarred by both blaster bolt and spearpoint. To Benita’s relief, the small orange nodes on the shoulder straps seemed to be intact.

Ignoring the sudden heaviness of her body, Benita cleared her throat. “Excuse me?”

The dark haired man jumped, but to his credit, he recovered quickly. He turned smoothly on his heel, a hand inching towards his sidearm. “Well,” he looked her up and down, an audacious smirk forming on his lips. “Hello, there”

“If you want your friend to live,” Benita rasped. “Put that down, along with your rifle.” She shot a glance at the other woman. “And anything that you have.”

“You’re not seriously going to-” the woman in the lab coat silenced as the man gently set the mangled breastplate down, then removed his rifle sling and side arm. His smile remained, though Benita noticed that his hands trembled as he brought them up from the weapons. Good. So he knows what I am.

“It’s alright, Doc.” The man leaned back on the crate as the doctor dropped her weapon, his hands still in the air. “It’s ok, Esther. She won’t hurt you.”

“You sure about that, Raiden?” the redhead - Esther- croaked feebly against Benita’s arm. 

Raiden raised his hand to silence whatever outburst the other prisoner was about to make. “Oh, sure. If she wants off this station, why would she kill our star pilot?” His smirk grew wider.

Benita scowled. She released Esther, who fell to the floor gasping. The doctor rushed forward, dropping to the ground and gently checking her throat. Benita ignored them, pushing past Raiden and snatching up the breastplate. She had to force herself put it on slowly. “You are responsible for the prison break?”

“Yeah. Thanks for being such a great distraction. They’re scrambling to find you.” Despite Raiden’s relaxed pose, Benita could feel the tension radiating off him. He unclenched his jaw. “So where’s the rest of the armor?”

She slipped the breastplate over her head. Despite the added weight on her shoulders, she felt lighter than she had in...weeks? Months? When had she first been captured? She shook her head. That wasn’t important right now. What was important was how much this man knew of her. Few uninitiated could distinguish the truth of the Themi from their bloated mythology. Fewer still could identify one on sight. “Whatever you think you know of the Themi-” 

“I know enough to strike a deal.” He turned to her fully now, sparing a glance at Esther as she got off the floor. “I need to be somewhere else. These guys need to get to the ship safely, and I can’t be there to protect them.” His companion’s protested, the other prisoner the loudest, but Raiden just leaned in closer. “We have a ship in the hangar and one hell of a pilot. Get these two and our cargo,” he nodded towards the prisoner, “through any guards or prisoners and we’ll drop you off on some backwater colony. You can start over.”

Tempting, but...“And stoop to your level?” Benita palmed the spear, grateful for its comforting weight. “Why should I help you escape with him?” She closed in on the prisoner, the “46″ visible on his chest as he backed away from her. Ah yes, I remember now. “Don Lepora’s son, no? I am certain the Themi have a warrant out for your execution.” She tapped him on the chest with the collapsed spear, tilting her head as he whimpered. “I could do it right now,” she growled.

“And I’m sure you would if you were still a Themi, right?” Raiden slung his rifle strap back over his torso, ignoring Benita’s glower. “Oh, come on. No armor and you’re in prison? You’re just as bad as the rest of us.” His scruffy face suddenly changed, smile dropping. He pulled the glove off of one hand and extended it towards her. “You could put that behind you. Or at least escape the torture.”

The Themi code was quite clear about how to proceed. She should kill Raiden, then Lepora, then the other two women, then everyone on the damned prison station. There would be no redemption, no exceptions, just pure justice. But Raiden was right: despite the code’s persistent hold on her, she was no longer a Themi. She had spat on their code and spurned their traditions. Now she was nothing but a common thug, naked without her power armor. Perhaps this was her divine punishment.

She took his hand, her bloody fingers staining his own as she squeezed. “I will escort them.” Raiden had the audacity to wink.

She would hold up her end of the bargain, that much was only honorable. And she would go as far as that ship would take her from this accursed station. But one thing was clear to Benita as she unsheathed the spear from its collapsed state: this man was her enemy.

[kira-fluff]

Imagine the bros with someone who was a gremlin as a child and just nonchalantly tells them their stories. For example in kinder I got dared to put a rock in my ear and my little five year old self was not gonna back down. I had to get that rock removed by a doctor 😭.

a/n: i love this oddly specific request as well as the flawless usage of the descriptor "gremlin". i too was a lollipop-stuck-to-hair, hot-mess-express child. thank u for sharing your amazing story x i took the liberty of using as many funny childhood stories as i could remember, as well as your own (thought it a befitting tale to tell to lucifer lmao) disclaimer: this is assuming that you had a childhood full of crazy events, but none including ab*se of any kind. these are silly, funny memories, not ones that would hurt you to this day. tw: language, mention of children in the future (not totally breeding kink tho), established relationship unclear so just decided that for yourself bc im lazy

reacting to funny stories from your childhood - obey me! brothers x reader

stories of your childhood were always something most found entertaining, but you found that these stories intrigued your demon roommates even more so. it started off as a comment you'd mentioned off-hand, but the brothers urged you on, hooked on hearing some of your stories - after all, it had been a few hundred years since they'd been children.

"...so one time i got dared to put a rock in my ear and, of course, only losers back down from a challenge--" "you didn't" "--so i put that rock right in my ear! then i had to go to the doc to get it taken out, but at least my friends knew i ain't no pussy." "of course you did."

lucifer

trying to pretend like he doesn't care

but is easily baited into the conversation when mammon says "the person who knows the most 'bout y/n is obviously ME!"

rolls his eyes, but you can see his head turning to listen to you better

is rude af about it once you finish your story smh

"it all makes sense now, that rock must've replaced your brain"

smirks throughout the story, making focused eye-contact with mammon because his dumbass did the same thing. LAST. MONTH. (for a bet, of course, that he lost)

scoffs at your story, but can't help but continue to listen with a smile

he's got it bad

feels the need to one-up your stories with stories of his own (that aren't embarrassing at all, but that prove that even at the age of 2 he was a badass)

can't help but let his mind wander to having a child with you (he's domestic af okay)

"let's hope your our child inherits more of the father's genetics"

i dare you to smack him upside the head he deserves it for being a snarky little whore

just run away after, it's not like he'll catch you he def will

"...and then my sister took my doll, so then i tackled her to the ground and started chocking her. she passed out but she had it coming. my mom grounded me for like a month but i didn't care because guess what? my sis never took my doll again" "remind me not to take your shit anymore oh fuck--"

mammon

oh? cute stories about your childhood?

he's all ears

can't help but turn it into a competition to see who knows you the best or who your favorite is

so badly wants you to say it's him ;-;

was expecting stories about maybe the time you made your first friend or when you learned your first word

nope

he's over here sweating bullets because did he remember to put back all that stuff he took?

he wasn't gonna sell it or anythin'.. he just kinda likes the way yer stuff smells... not in a creepy way though, ok?!

and like, you hadn't noticed yet

so of course he was gonna keep some of your stuff!!!

but.. but you choked your sister for stealing a doll?

not even lucifer was that... extreme

may or may not find him in your room, putting all of your things back in the places he recalled he'd taken them

you'd just laugh, saying you didn't mind as long as it wasn't something you really needed

he breathed a sigh of relief

he was genuinely about to shit his pants when you walked through the door

"'m too young to die! swear i was jus' lookin' at 'em!"

"..one time my dad was in a bad mood so he got mad that i passed the ketchup bottle without the cap facing DOWN so that all the ketchup was able to be poured out quickly. so then, when he asked me to pass the salt, so i looked at him, then turned the salt shaker face down and handed it to him as the salt was pouring out..."

leviathan

already tweeting "STORIES FROM Y/N'S CHILDHOOD?!?!??! #REALSHITSABTTOGODOWN #STANRURICHAN"

spurs him to tell his own stories about his childhood (he wants to share but swears its sO emBarrAsSinG"

swears he was into anime as a newborn

is honestly a lil giddy to hear your stories and laughs at them just as much as everyone else

whenever you come into his room while he is gaming he wants you to tell him more of the stories from your childhood

"LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO Y/N IS A SAVAGE"

doesn't find it hard to believe that you were just as sassy as a little child

you're just like him <3

kinda blushes imagining the two of you being childhood besties uwu

like he gives bullied in high school vibes for some reason idk

i can just imagine the two of you being the best of friends

you'd make him lil flower crowns while he ranted to you about his pokemon card collection

he's so SOFT for you omgggg

would quite literally die for you if he had to but im getting off topic

anyway, please never stop talking to him, it's his number one fear <3

giggles in the dorky way he does when you get super expressive

"...there was this day when i was eight and i didn't want to go to school anymore and i was bored in class so i decided right then and there that i would lose my tooth and get one of those crappy-looking 'tooth necklaces'..... not five minutes later, i ripped my front tooth out and was sent to the nurses with blood dripping down the hallway. i was so proud of myself but it turned out i had accidentally ripped out an ADULT tooth. my parents were pissed, but i was proud because i got to go home and eat ice cream for two weeks."

satan

THRIVES off the stories of you being a little shit as a kid lol (or the stories of you being a little shit now)

that being said, WHAT THE FUCK

he forgot how wild kids can be, much less YOU

i mean, you were sent to the demon world and all you did was shrug and roll with it??? who even are you????

you even felt a little bit of pity for your parents, bless their souls

he smirked at the part where you got out of school as you clasped your chest proudly

it was cute to watch you get excited about all your little adventures from when you were younger - it's hard to believe that was only a few decades ago (to him)

finds himself looking for the you now in your old self

he's easily able to identify some of your key traits: stubbornness, strength, optimism, kindness, wit...

you were always this way, he thought, and it was reassuring.

a little smile crept up his face, taking over the neutral expression that once adorned his soft and regal features

you were always something something special

"...and then the teacher was wearing this ugly ass skirt and so my sassy little six-year-old self was like 'did you dress in the dark or something? because your shirt doesn't match your skirt'... i feel kinda bad about it now but it was iconic back in the day."

asmodeus

gives you exaggerated reactions to each part of your story, but they're genuine

gASP

hand over mouth

laughs at the parts when you get super animated

insists your are doing her a favor by helping her with her fashion dilemma

honestly he probably has some similar stories to share himself

gushes about how the two of you are so alike that it is shocking

(i mean i guess sorta? jk u wish)

"we're so similar.. let's go to my bedroom and find out what is different"

all his other brothers simultaneously shout, "NO"

i headcanon that asmo has dimples that come out when he truly, REALLY smiles and he does it when you talk about your childhood

you get all excited and he can't help but just shout, "oH you're SO cUTE~~~~~!"

"....i backflipped into the christmas tree and the next thing i knew i was in one of those crusty ass hospital beds. so yeah, i don't recommend doing that."

beezlebub

got lost half-way through the story when he got up to get a snack

next thing he knew you were talking about backflipping???

still though, he found it really cute how you got all soft when talking about the way that your mother started crying once you woke up only for her to fall into a fit of rage the next moment

the moment actually brought tears to your eyes, reminding you of a part of yourself that did really miss home and the people that you left there

his eyes widened, taking in your shrinking form

as if his arms moved on his own, he moved to grasp you in a tight embrace

your sniffles ceased and you even let out a little giggle, "beel, you're squishing me"

he apologized, his purple eyes full of worry and remorse

you only shook your head, mumbling a quiet, "i'm fine"

he realized that even though devildom seemed like home to him now, he also knew what it felt like to have to get used to an entirely new place, especially going from being an angel to a deadly sin

so he cherished those moments in his heart, but he was hesitant to ask you more about your childhood, afraid that the memories, while happy, would also make you homesick

he cares for you so much, don't ever think otherwise <3

"...i skipped class so many times because i slept in - and like, usually i'd just show up late, but i had decided that i will never be that loser who ran to class. if i was gonna show up late, i'd show up looking good. so i'd curl my hair and put on makeup if i was late. i'd be more late, but i'd look like a bad bitch."

belphegor

your "idgaf" personality reflects his quite well

the amount of times he's tried to skip school because of sleeping were too far to count

yet lucifer always forced him to take part in the daily academics activities

honestly sort of jealous of you

still, he gets over it quickly, though, when he sees the cute little crescents that your eyes form

can't help but not be mad at you

and now he knows the perfect person to go to when he wants to escape the world and take a big nap

maybe miss a few classes on the side with you :)

you're his special napping buddy

a/n: this was sorta ass but just ignore it

[chemicalcarousel]

is it normal for the host of a system to having attributed your headmates' behavior/thoughts/opinions/ect to yourself before you were made aware of your plurality?

and is it normal for other headmates to having confused themselves as being you, the host, in the past?

(gonna do a "keep reading" for the rest of it, since it became a long rant about my& struggle with our mental health)

ig it's because we just thought that was what being one person was idk we do be a lil stoopid lmao. like... i remember some episodes where levi was close to the front or fronting with me where we were well aware that there was a levi there (name and all), but we thought it was a delusion or we just brushed it off as if it never happened. then we identified as otherkin/fictionkin (since levi is an introject from a fictional source). levi thought he wasn't his own person and he still seems freaked out by the thought of existing and honestly i dont blame him since i find existing freaky too hxkfsfksxs

i thought one of the littles was me doing involuntary age regression as some sort of emotional flashback, but idk my therapist thinks she's a seperate part and ngl it makes more sense. she's much different, but probably based on young me and holds our trauma from that time. i'm personally emotionally distanced to the trauma mostly, but she's the one holding it. every therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist that have met her are extremely surprised how i change so drastically. and they have all commented on how im not in touch with my emotions when i describe my trauma very analytically. but then sometimes "i" start acting like a scared child. i cant control it in any way. i especially cant control my body language, my thoughts, my emotions, and my speech. and after the episode is over i definitely have emotional amnesia. it was a dissociated child part

also the child has a passive influence on me from positive triggers too and it's hard to control that. let's just say we have a lot of plushies lmao but idk they are very cute and the big ones are good for especially the littles to ground and soothe themselves. sometimes hugging one also helps when a little is upset inside of the body. we have a hard time reaching each other inside the headspace, it's like we are lost in an infinite void of darkness where we can sense each other faintly at times, but it's so hard to communicate. but i hugged a big, soft plushie once i felt a little crying and i kept repeating that we are safe and that she's not alone and that we love her. idk why the plushie hugging helped, but my theory is that she might have felt it through our body and hugging that plushie helps her. she didnt seem to be at the front at all, but idk maybe she could still feel it?? idk how this works, my therapist has been very hesitant to help us, even though she's the one who was like "yeah you are three different parts, i've observed them all" (havent told her about lee bc we are scared and he only fronts when we are alone and he can do some activities he likes)

TW // suicidal ideation mention

our therapist is a licenced psychiatrist and psychotherapist who is specialised in mood disorders (we have bipolar), so maybe that's why she's so bad at handling our case. she's like "it's hard to work with your trauma when you're either not in touch with it or you're triggered to the point of closing off from the world". bruh........ we're trying our best here, you're supposed to like.... know what to do. there's a reason that we are here, if we knew how to handle this we wouldn't need therapy wtf. sadly we barely have an income high enough to live off of since we aren't allowed to work yet due to our strong anxiety and s//cidal ideation. also we dont have the right disorders to get disability (only schizo-spec or bpd, denmark is so stupid istfg). hhh life is so hard and we are super split on having hope for the future or not

TW OVER // suicidal ideation mention

anyway, a question turned into a rant (yet again). ig it's because we literally have no one to talk to about this. sorry hhhhgggg

~ Sof (she/he/they)

[straykats]

okay! i have questions for you too.

1. what is your favourite colour?

2. when is your birthday? (if you don’t mind me asking)

3. if you could assign yourself a flower… what flower would it be, and why?

4. who’s your skz bias? why?

5. are vampires good at math? (yes, this is a joke. guess the punchline)

[send me some questions!!]

omg wait i have another bad pun. teehee but its ti-hee (was supposed to type "hi ti hehe" and then it hit me) also im gonna put these utc bc they got.. a bit long JKDSNVS

1. im not sure what my favourite colour is but im gonna. get some photos. i am so >:( that they're not the same size AHH um i like these colours but i don't think i have a very serious "this is my fav colour"??? it kinda just depends on what the colour is regarding (ie. colour car or smth)

2. i was born in aug 2001 - imma virgo kid, to limit down the days lol

3. lemme just *whips out my language of flowers book* *stresses* okay. not okay. this is hard.

alyssum (meaning: worth beyond beauty ; possible powers: calm/moderate anger, protection) because those 'possibe powers'... i feel that that is my role in this house LMAO but also some protection would be nice. 'worth beyond beauty' because (if im interpreting it right) i defs value the thought that is put into things a lot...? OR

myosotis (ie. forget me nots) (meanings: clinging to the past, memories, remembering, true love, faithfullness ; possibe powers: healing, secrecy (?)) because idk hashtag relatable to some of those but not in the best way. can defs do w some healing too LMAO but also i've always found these (and babys breath) really cute and ive just liked them

4. uh oh i have a very big minho/hyunjin/seungmin war in my head but like as a fourth party i am the one receiving damage?? idk who my bias is ngl but its one of those three, if all three isnt a valid answer.

minho: honestly,,, dont even know. i just feel drawn to him + maybe i find comfort in who i think he is as a person/how i've perceived him and how i believe him to be? idk if that makes sense. that aside, his (+seungmins) vocals are literally my fav like. ya thats some good stuff right there. i think i first biased him when i realised we have A Lot in common (or at the time we did, and now hes just permanently here)

hyunjin: his Mind. his way of thinking, him seeming like hes a massive labrador or smth but he ahs this really deep and emotionally intellectual side to him? idk if im phrasing this right.

seungmin: ngl back door seungmin is to blame but since then he's grown on me so much and idk why he's top3 but every day i literally just have a little "sigh, seungmin <3" moment

(i dont exactly like my answers but i also dont know how else to answer hm. i think all the members have a very special place in my heart but im much more emotionally drawn towards hyunjin and minho, and seungmin is this curveball that i never expected so now im just Confused)

5. oh gee i wonder. idk, i wonder what the answer is 🤔 i'll make a very not so wild guess and say yea, they are. (ngl the first time i heard this joke it took me a hot second to understand it rip) (also i hope this reply doesnt come off rude or smth i feel like the intended vibes are.. missing. my brains starting to not process thigns at this time nvjkvns)

[khaleesiofalicante]

Ok imma be honest, this chapter moved me to tears and not the sad sobbing but the more inspiring kind. This chapter means the world.

She had told them her dreams were about ducks – since there were the only equally horrible thing she could think of.

Uncle Magnus had given her an odd look then, as if he knew she was bullshitting them. But he hadn’t said anything.

DUCKS AREN'T THAT BAD! HAVE Y'ALL EVER BEEN CHASED BY A GOAT?? I WAS CONVINCED I WAS GONNA DIE

Lexi would be royally pissed if this turned out to be some stupid pointless dream.

YUP

Even though she was only 7 minutes older than Lexi, Selena always acted like she was 7 years older.

That's so cute though

People looked at her pastel-coloured aesthetic immediately assumed she was the soft and sweet Fairchild twin. People saw Selena in her red leather jacket and thigh high boots and assumed she was in the infamous troublesome Herondale twin.

SMH THE DAMN STEREOTYPES

Why Selena hadn’t killed her in her sleep yet, Lexi doesn’t know.

BYE THAT'S EVERY SIBLING RELATIONSHIP EVER

The meals at the Academy were to die for – quite literally. Last week two students from the warlock fraction had almost killed each other over a blueberry muffin.

Oh how times change...they will never know the dreaded soup

NO ANJALI HAS BEEN GONE FOR OVER A YEAR???

IS JAIME OK?? PLEASE BE OK! HE CAN LIVE WITH TREATMENT SO I REALLY HOPE HE'S OK

Selena’s was Idris of course. She was kind of obsessed with it.

Max loved the shadow markets. Lexi thought they were very cool too.

Rafael loved his father’s office – which was weird. There was nothing to do in that room other than ponder about shadow world problems. Besides, the place still weirdly smelled like the tangerine perfume Anjali wore, even though the girl had left New York almost a year ago.

David loved the New York Institute – especially the library.

Gigi of course loved the dining halls.

Dining halls, kitchens, food trucks, vending machines - if a place had food with it, Gigi loved it.

It's so amazing how they all have their favorite places...(same David same)

“You’re supposed to pour the syrup on the pancakes not into your mouth,” Lexi chuckled as she sat down next to her.

“It ends up in my mouth anyway,” Gigi shrugged.

True enough.

AWW ROMAN MAKING GIGI PLAYLISTS!!

Someone make me a playlist.

“His parents fell in love in Rome when they were in Rome,” Gigi pointed out even though Lexi already knew. “I think it’s actually romantic.”

I had forgotten that-

Roman was nice. But not nice enough for Georgia. Lexi didn’t think there was anyone good enough for her parabatai – who was the most perfect person in the world.

Me @ anyone who tries to make a move at my best friend.

AWW GEORGIA LIKES HIM TOO!!

When's the wedding?

(you're telling me you didn't believe you were gonna marry your childhood crush? Liar)

“I like being his friend,” Georgia said. “I like spending time with him and all of that. But I don’t know if I like him…in that way. I feel like I need more time.”

Demiromantic??? YES GIVE US THE REP

Lexi sometimes thought life would be so much simpler if the world was full of women and everyone was a lesbian.

Ikr?? Life would be so much easier.

Lexi says Roman is too-nice-sus

Well well well

The kind of love that cheated death.

The kind of love that sustained memory spells put by princes of hell.

The kind of love that changed the world.

Trust me all of our standards are very high

Lexi successfully survived the class without falling asleep.

Me during English.

Ok who's the blond?

Lexi I thought we weren't gonna fall this soon-

Oh the girl's straight...sigh we've all been there.

which meant they had to hold hands. Kinda.

Lexi was a little scared of that.

Me.

Goddamnit, Alexandra. Get your gay together!

THAT'S SO RELATABLE LIKE?? YES

OH MY GOD IT'S EMMA AND JULIAN'S DAUGHTER GEIDIDHDOHDJSKSJSKGXJDHSODHKDGDDGDJHDJDGDJDGJDHD

Lexi knew Olivia liked boys. She hadn’t dated anyone officially of course. All the boys were kind of terrified of her father.

She could be bi or pan or omni. WE GOTTA HAVE HOPE

vegetable loaf... David I'm so sorry you had to go through this.

Lexi then decided not to do any of her homework over the weekend because she was not coming back to the academy. She was not going to survive the sleepover and whatever else Olivia had in mind.

Bestie...why is this me when I make eye contact with my crush.

“Good stuff?” Max snorted. “Rafe literally ran away from home cause shit got too intense.”

“I didn’t run away!” Rafael rolled his eyes. “Stop telling people that!”

“But you have rumours and shadowhunters getting thrown into silent city and cohort drama and all that exciting stuff!” Liv pointed out.

I-

Liv-

True though.

“Wasn’t there a serial killer when your parents were young?” David asked.

“And didn’t your uncle do necromancy?” Max said biting into a chicken wing.

True and true

“Sorry, Chouchou!” Lexi winced. “I, uh, sensed a mosquitoe on your leg.”

“Girl, your angel powers are weird as fuck,” Max laughed.

MAX LANGUAGE

“I don’t know,” the girl shrugged and threw her a wink. “I wouldn’t put anything past Lexi.”

Lexi looked at Gigi. She was one more compliment away from screaming.

But Gigi of course knew her struggle and therefore quickly stuffed a bread roll into Lexi’s mouth.

I need someone to stuff bread into my mouth when things get like this

There were rumours about David – and how Daddy had an affair. Lexi was yet to find those asshats and shove a witch light down their throats.

When you find them lemme know too.

“Or maybe it’s because you don’t need rumours be interesting,” David pointed out.

Max turned around, looking surprised at that. His cheeks turned purple. Lexi didn’t know why he was surprised. David only ever spoke fondly of Max.

JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY OH MY GOD

“Oh. Oh! I did hear something a long time ago!” Gigi said suddenly. “Olly, is it true you were conceived at the beach?”

“Georgia, you can’t just ask people where they were conceived!” David sounded horrified.

That is very much possible.

“I heard you were conceived in hell?”

“Oh my god,” Selena looked horrified. “That’s not true! It must have been about Max!”

“Y’all I am adopted!” Max was shaking with laughter and then stopped. “Although our dads could have definitely had sex in hell. I wouldn’t put it past them.”

Oh yes. Both clace and malec.

Then they had of course continued to discuss that cursed topic until Rafael had threatened to tell the Consul about it.

LMAO

Lexi turned around and saw Liv waiting for her. Nope. She wasn’t going to talk a walk – a fucking stroll! – with Olivia all on her own.

“You are coming back to the institute with me or I will un-parabatai you.”

You know there being an un-parabatai ceremony would solve a lot of shit

What if their hands accidentally grazed or something? That shit was lethal.

RIGHT????

She is just trying to be nice. That’s what friends do. They are nice. And they give each other pretty dresses and say they would like to see them in it.

Honey that's gay.

EVERYONE ASKING HER OUT IM DEAD

Selena: Ugh boys

Selena: When I win back Idris, we are leaving all the men behind.

Lexi: Except Magnus? Lol.

Selena: Obviously.

Is that even a question Lexi? Duh.

ALEC LIGHTWOOD THOUGHT SHE WAS STRAIGHT? THE SHAME!

OH MY GOD IM CACKLING

Not everyone can kiss their partner in the Accords Hall. Some people didn’t have access to the Accords Hall.

And most important, some people didn’t have partners!

We're getting a lexi and Alec talk someone hold me

“I’m going to tell you something,” Uncle Alec said. “It might sound simple. It might sound ridiculous. But it’s the truth. So, you must believe me. Can you do that?”

Lexi gave him a small nod.

“It doesn’t matter what other people think,” Uncle Alec said. “Not when it comes to your future. Not when it comes to your identity. They don’t get to have a say in who you are and why you are the way you are.”

Lexi bit her lip.

“Alexandra, people will always tell what to do. But you shouldn’t let them. Never let anyone tell you what to do with your heart or your body. Neither belongs them. It only belongs to you.”

THIS RIGHT HERE MADE ME START CRYING BECAUSE DAMN YES!

“Yep,” she groaned and then hesitated for a moment. “Uncle Alec…Can I ask you something stupid?”

“Can I say no?”

“No.”

“Then go ahead.”

I love her so much

“I feel…I feel it’s something we have to bear, Alexandra. The fear of rejection. It’s something we have to accept as an inevitable part of our lives. Because no matter how much love we have around us, we will always be afraid of people not loving us – simply because of who we are.”

Yeah...

“Besides, they named you after me,” he pointed out. “I don’t know what else they expected.”

EXACTLY! Did they really expect a straight child after naming them after Alec?

“I do like shouting,” Lexi wondered out loud. “That’s good advice.”

“I didn’t mean it literally!” Uncle Alec looked alarmed.

“No, it makes total sense!” Lexi grinned. “Some of these people can be tone deaf. Gotta shout it out. Loud and clear. Awesome advice! Thanks, Uncle Alec!”

DO IT

“Hey, Lexi. I was wonderin-”

“MOVE, I’M GAY!” she yelled as she shoved him aside and kept on running.

ABSOLUTELY ICONIC

“I prefer she/her,” Lexi answered. "But sometimes I prefer she/they. But you can use she/her because some of y'all already shit at grammar."

That's exactly what I tell people when they ask for my pronouns. Istg people are shit at grammar.

alright girl im here to give you a lecture on how someone's dressing doesn't describe their sexuality

OH MY MY GOD THERE WAS A GENDER AND SEXUALITY CLASS IN THE ACADEMY ARE THEY RECRUITING???

One of the boys who had complimented cleared his throat. “So, uh, you don’t like boys?”

“That’s literally what I said,” Lexi rolled her eyes. “I’m gay. I’m very gay. I’m gayer than the Consul. Okay fine, that’s not true. No one gayer than the Consul. But I’m still pretty gay.”

Does the boy have hearing problems?

ALSO YES NO ONE'S GAYER THAN THE CONSUL

“Sexual orientation and gender expression are two different things,” she explained now, remember what Uncle Magnus had taught them. “Sexual orientation refers to who I am sexually and romantically attracted to. Gender expression is how I want to express my gender identity. Those two are not connected. Just because a woman wears feminine clothes it doesn’t mean she is straight. Just because a man embraces femininity, it doesn’t make him gay either. Does that make sense?”

“Ohhh,” the girl nodded. “Yes, it does. Thank you!”

“What I wear does not reflect who I like. It reflects who I am and what I like to wear,” Lexi explained. “And regardless of my sexuality, I like pretty things.”

Exactly.

“This doesn’t change anything. I hope you know that,” he told her. “I mean I have to change the pronouns in my shovel talk. But that’s not a big deal.”

Awwww

Also – my good friend Raziel told me that homophobia is a sin.”

“You mean homosexuality is a sin?” an older man asked.

“No, homophobia is a sin,” Lexi repeated. “That’s what Raziel said.”

“But that’s not-”

Someone cleared their throat. When he spoke, it was in the Consul Voice.

“Are you saying know better than Raziel?” the Consul asked.

Listen to Raziel you dumb shit

“Sure. Let me just call the Lesbian Alliance,” Lexi rolled her eyes.

Ugh I wish

OH NO NO NO NOT THE FAKE DATING. JUST CONFESS AND DATE FOR REAL

“Alexandra, I have a fucking undercut and I have pink highlights and I cuff my jeans and I literally walk around with a sword and I can quote Lady Gaga to perfection! Why would you ever think I was straight??”

Lexi your gaydar is broken bestie.

Don't do this omg this is gonna be a mess

Gigi: THIS IS A BAD IDEA. ABORT! ABORT!

Lexi: Relaaaax. It’s going to be fine!

Gigi: I’ve read enough fanfiction to know the fake dating trope never ends well!

Lexi: I’ve told you to include the ‘angst with happy ending’ tag!

LMAO

Also Gigi which fanfiction do you read?

Jace omg...

That's so him though.

“How about my peeps? It sounds very hip.”

“It does not,” Lexi replied. “Please don’t refer to us as your peeps under any circumstance."

IM SCREAMING ASHSKHSIDBSHSHDH

Her father chuckled at that. “Sweetheart, you’re a Herondale. Being problematic is what we do.”

EXACTLY

Daddy opened the notebook again. “I need names.”

Grabs flamethrower names

“Besides, the Lightwoods and Blackthorns have been hogging the gay genes for too long. Now it’s our turn. I say you gay it up.”

“Gay it up?” Lexi laughed.

“Yeah,” he grinned. “Go for the highest possible level of gay.”

DO IT

He blinked for a second and then it hit him. “OH MY GOD YES! DOES EMMA KNOW??”

Lexi laughed. Yeah, he can never find out it was a fake dating situation.

Hopefully he won't have to because it won't be fake :D

“To love is a privilege and to be loved is a blessing.”

THE GROWTH OH MY GOD

This chapter literally means so much to me. I don't even know what to say. I hope I too can one day have the courage to shout it in front of everyone and not be scared. See ya on Tuesday!

It means so much to me that this chapter meant a lot to you. I hope you find all the courage, strength and support you need. You are amazing.

And here. I made you a playlist.

You can find it here on YouTube. I hope you like it :)

[crossovereddie]

Thoughts on 11x06

I had to come back to type this after the episode. I was gonna wait to post until more people are active but everyone’s safety is more important than notes. This was really hard for me to watch. It took me two hours because I kept needing a break. It’s a tough one yall. It’s heartbreaking and really brought out issues I didn’t know I was still dealing with until I reacted so badly to some stuff. Take care of yourselves and I’m here if you need to talk. I’ll have timestamps for major tws in another post coming right after this. I just gotta go back and get the end of those scenes. I only go the time they started.

Okay. So. There’s some trigger warnings that I’ve reblogged earlier. This recap WILL have thoughts about those triggers. If you think you’ll be triggered just message me or send me an ask and I’ll give you the non triggering recap. Stay safe please.

Kev and v intro. They’re having sex behind the bar

I’m extremely nervous for some reason I might not be able to get through this

Bike heist!!

LICKEY RIGHTS

LIP CALLS HIM MICK

MISSION IMPISSIBLE

Mickey is unimpressed

Lip telling Mickey what to do yes please

Fucking Mickey omg

HE LOOKS SO GOOD

THE WAY HE SAYS BRAD

Again Mickey is unimpressed

Lip :(

MICKEY CONCERNED ABOUT LIPS SOBRIETY

AGAIN I SAY LICKEY RIGHTS

Frank is falling the chick he’s boning Monica

Not sure that’s her real name

Wait yeah it is

Frank??? Has to get to work???

Wait her name isn’t Monica

Oh shut now I get what’s happening

“Can I speak to Pope Francis please” LIAM 😭

Poor baby

Lip cooking breakfast. Hot.

I forgot about camis baby

I actually beep bad for lip and Tami

We already heard this argument with Mickey and Ian get new material writers

PRODIGAL THEIF

PINK BOX HES SO CUTE

HE LOOKS SO CUTE GOTTA SQUEEZE HIM PLS

Yeah don’t tell Carl that traitor

MICKEY BROUGHT DONUTS PLS

HES SO CUTE

ITS TOO MUCH

I LOVE HIM

HIS SMILE!!!!!!!!

GALLAGHER YOUTH

THAT MEANS MICKEY TOO BYE

CARL CALLING HIM MICK TOO PLS

I CANT TAKE IT

Poor Liam he’s terrified

“I was hoping the fucker would just die” :(

Shut up Debbie

Mickey is beautiful

Leave Mickey out of it debbie goddamn

I cant fucking stand her

Frank just observing his kids and smiling

Same frank

SHUT UP DEBBIE

OH MY GOD HIS LAUGH IS THIS WHAT YOU HEAR WHEN YOU FIRST GET TO HEAVEN????

“And the smartest” lol

Someone save Liam

“I want Sandy”

We all do kid

Fucking manipulative little I CANT STAND DEBBIE

Sandy deserves better

I hate the Milkovichs!!!!

How did smart sensitive sweet beautiful loving Mickey come from this disgusting family????

MICKEY IS THE BOSS

My heart hurts so him

“Homo sexy” dear god

Mickey is too good he deserves so much better

I love him so much

Let him be happy

Mickey has the biggest heart

They’re actually talking and not fighting

CHAPO STFU

You’re so funny and smart and beautiful don’t forget that baby

SUGAR TITS

And no one is fazed lmao

“He’s actually my uncle and my dad” I fucking hate this show

I forgot Carl makes legit money now

Wtf kinda school is this

This is so fucked up

The twins are so adorable

SHUT UP DEBBIE

“You guys” I hate that but also she’s acknowledging Mickey as “hers” and he’s family :(

Okay this horrifying comment

I hate that it’s just nonchalant

Debbie just keeps talking.

Let’s move on

Mickeys face when she says “butt naked”lmao

LIP CALLING HIM MICK AGAIN

“Talk to you for a minute?”

“Yes. Please”

I LOVE IT

Mickey is unimpressed by lip once again and I’m smiling

They love each other they’re secretly best friends ITS A FACT

HAND SHAKE SO CUTE

MY BABIES

“Blue like my balls” fucking frank lol

They’re going in on Frank’s storyline now

Boss Mickey at it again

Terry’s home

The way his face falls im sick

SANDY BABY

My heart is racing

Mickeys face is breaking my heart

Great now I’m crying

Mickey got emotional

Ian sensed it and touched his neck all fucking sweet

Okay I had to take a little break because I started crying

I love him too much

Fucking Noel is so damn good

My heart is fucking breaking

“Frank’s not a homophobic psychopath who tortured you for years”

Please Mickey deserves better

I don’t wanna hear any Ian slander either.

In this house we protect my son and my son in law I will fight you

“Let’s get the fuck outta here. Lip you coming?” 😭

That was so hard to watch yall. I’m not gonna lie to you. My parents weren’t half as shitty as terry but growing up feeling unloved your whole life fucks you up anyway and that brought out some emotions and feelings I didn’t realize I still dealt with. I had to pause for a good while and cry.

Leave Sandy alone debbie

Terry is disgusting

Okay the homophobic language he uses is definitely triggering so I’ll time stamp that too

Debbie you selfish bitch

Everyone leaving terry outside it’s a yes from me

I honestly can’t concentrate on the other scenes now I’m sorry y’all

I try to cover everyone’s scenes but it’s hard for me today

I’m not okay

Liam is too innocent poor kid

MICKEY LIP AND IAN THE BEST TRIO

We need more scenes

I PAUSED TO TYPE AND THE FUCKING LOOK HES GIVING HIM STOP

They’re besties

Mickey is beautiful

MY BABY BUSINESS BOSS MAN I LOVE YOU

he really hasn’t called him Philip the entire episode wtf

Ignoring Debbie

Now I want fries

Carl is cringy

Mickey drove them home and pulled a gun

Honestly again another heartbreaking scene

Ian’s trying to make him stop

Terry is disgusting and also a coward but we’ve been knew

Noel is the most amazing

Mickey gets teary but doesn’t cry bc I cried enough for the both of us

He’s the strongest bravest ever and I’m so proud of him

I need a hug

My heart hurts so much y’all

I just want him to be happy

I’m a fucking mess

I can’t handle Lip being emotional too

Oh I thought lip wanted to sell the house for himself only but at least they all get their share

Horrible music choice

I wanna tuck Mickey in with his favorite tv show on(911) make him his favorite food to eat in bed and not let anyone but Ian around him for a good 72 hours

The way Ian is looking at him

“Would you take care of me if I was paralyzed?”

“....yeah. Yeah”

“Top you whenever I wanted” “asshole”

His smile is back that’s all I need in life

MICKEY IS TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD

RIP DOWN THAT FLAG YES BABY

“That was big of you” “he’s an asshole...I wanna be better than that”

WHEN I TELL YALL I LOST IT I MEAN FULL ON SOBBING

YOURE ALREADY A THOUSAND TIMES BETTER THAN THAT PIECE OF SHIT

YOURE SO KIND AND BRAVE AND BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT

Ian’s like “back of the head? Gotta grab and hold my boy”

“You are so much better than that” IAN MY SWEET SON IN LAW I LOVE YOU THANK YOU FOR LOVING OUR BOY SO WELL

IAN IS THE MOST SUPPORTIVE HUSBAND

V spitting truth

I want terry to fucking suffer

Don’t do it frank

“Nah” LMAO

Frank loves his son in law

Sandy I love you

I need to hold her

No debbie I LOVE HER

NO SANDY LOVE ME INSTEAD

DEBBIE DOESNT DESERVE YOU

Carl scene was so awful I feel so bad for him this girl is a fucking psycho

That was an actual rape scene what the fuck

Mickey making frank laugh

Debbie explaining? Really?

I hate her

“How long is this gonna take? I’m fucking starving Lip” WHY WONT YOU CALL HIM PHILIP

“We could get on with our lives” well that hurt more than it should’ve

It’s really the end soon huh? 😢

According to captions Ian says “we’re in”

Frank reads his diagnosis

Carl goes to report his rape

That took me nearly two hours to watch. Yeah I usually pause to type but I had to take long breaks after the hard scenes. It was a really hard episode to watch. A lot darker than it has been. I’m not really okay right now. It was emotional but a really good episode overall.

[wisteria-lodge]

lion primary + slightly burnt lion secondary (badger secondary model) (bird secondary model)

i hope you’re having an amazing day!! here’s my SHC dilemma:

i know my primary is lion, and it feels a little exploded, at that, but at least i know what’s up. but im still extremely confused about my secondary. i tried looking through other submissions, but i didn’t really find anything i vibed with 100%, but then again i have adhd and im really struggling going through all that text, it just kinda blurs together at some point

so, my secondary. taking the test, i always get burnt, often with a vague hint towards bird. at first i immediately adopted that and decided i was a burnt bird, but the more i go the less that feels right to me and i think it might be some sort of model.

Yeah. “doesn’t feel right.” Definitely see the Lion in your sorting.

working by elimination, im pretty certain im not a snake secondary. that ish doesn’t even sound real to me, i know there are people like this because i know a couple, but it’s just so weird to me that some people are just able to improvise so effectively, and seemingly change themselves like that, and they?? enjoy it?? it does sound dope, like i admire it, but wtf. 

Lion secondaries can get very *does not compute* when trying to get their head around Snake secondaries. I’m considering Lion for you. 

i do act differently in different situations or with different people, but i don’t think i have “personas” as much as degrees of awkwardness 

I see the burnt secondary. You’re definitely talking yourself down here. But the way you talk about “degrees of awkwardness” does make me think about the way Lion secondaries “change faces” by modulating intensity. 

depending on how much my anxiety is acting up, and the more anxious i am, the more i act like a doormat and revert to the proper manners i was taught, but like… that’s not me, and it’s not done on purpose, i don’t enjoy it. 

Looks like somebody’s got an unhealthy Badger secondary model.

it feels gross not to be able to act like myself, whatever the hell that is.

And you didn’t vibe with the Lion descriptions? This is the first time I’m reading though this and… very interested to get to the part where you talk about why you think you’re not a Lion. 

im also convinced im not a bagder - my mother is, and there are a lot of those in my community, so i was raised thinking that was the best way to be, an ideal to work towards, but it’s just not comfortable for me, i don’t wanna do it.

Yeah, this would that  unhealthy Badger secondary model you were talking about. ^

i don’t even think i *can* do it. i mean, “showing up and doing the work” is pretty hard with adhd, and not even the most efficient way of getting stuff done (at least for me), and thinking of the group and what i can do in that group is annoying. also i get that asking for help is important sometimes but it still feels like that’s just admitting i can’t figure out how to do it myself, which, yikes (don’t come at me i know it’s unhealthy)

Hey, breathe. It’s okay. Nobody is going to make you be a Badger secondary. Clearly you’ve spent enough time struggling under the weight of a model that doesn’t suit you, and now you’re pushing back against everything Badger extra hard. 

id rather find a group im a good fit for instead of molding myself to please others. 

See, that’s an exaggerated, caricatured way of conceptualizing how a Badger secondary works… but I’m not surprised that you think about it that way.

whatever i do, it needs to come from me.

… you’ve got a very loud Lion secondary. 

anyway im somewhere between lion and bird, and at first i thought i was a bird because i do in fact fricking love learning everything i can, i wouldn’t naturally call it “collecting”, i’m just doing whatever’s interesting in the moment

You mean you learn by improvising? :) Like a Lion? :) 

but sure, why not - i like collecting languages, knowledge about different cultures, books, music, space, countries, medicine, anything and everything, and i sometimes spend hours researching random stuff that im never actually gonna use “just in case im stranded in the wilderness and need to make soap” you feel? but it’s not actually because i think it might be useful (though i do get random bouts of anxiety over not knowing how to do certain stuff “in case” even though the probability id need them is infinitesimal).

Loving knowledge does not make you a Bird secondary. I’m hearing you talk about about a thing you do for fun, and - this is key - a thing you use as  a mechanism to cope with anxiety. ADHD can sometimes make you feel very scattered, going too fast, and your Bird is giving you [the illusion of] control. And I’m not going to knock that. The illusion of control is important. 

i just like knowing things and being able to use those things to do stuff. i wanna be “that guy” you can come to with the most obscure problem and they’d have some way of dealing with it. doesn’t that sound pretty bird?

Okay. Here’s the deal. You like Bird secondaries. You think they’re cool, and badass. Maybe you’d like to be one. But I’m still not at all convinced you are. I haven’t heard you use it to solve problems. 

but i can’t actually do that stuff. i think i used to, when i was a teenager? but depression and undiagnosed adhd kinda kicked my ass, among a few other things, and now i don’t really have the brain power for it and i feel like im not actually able to learn things as well, or to even think straight.

Wow. That is some burnt secondary talk. I can’t do things. 

(I promise you, people with ADHD have absurd brain power, and can learn things crazy well, although not in the same way as neurotypicals. You are right about not thinking straight, which I am interpreting as “in a straight line.” ADHD people think in webs and corkscrews and I love it.) 

 or if i did, i can’t learn as *many* things as i need to feel accomplished? which idk what you think but it kinda just sounds like burnt bird to me. 

Feeling like the secondary you have isn’t good enough can be a Burnt thing... but feeling like you need to manifest a specific secondary *more* (which is what this feels like) is usually a sign of a model. 

but here’s the thing. all of those sound real nice. and cool. and a good way of doing things, maybe even the “right” way, even though i know that’s subjective. but lion just feels more comfy, and idk if that’s because im a burnt bird modeling lion or if it’s smth else.

… you mean… like being… a Lion?

cause the “collecting skills and knowledge to solve problems” thing sounds cool, but it’s actually more just the first part that i vibe with? the part where i get to learn stuff! but when actually solving problems, i don’t usually think too long, i just vibe. i see where my instinct is taking me and i apply reason *after* that, or like, as a secondary, support thing. im not a dumbass either, im good at puzzles and logic problems, i can totally think things through and use my skills! but that’s not really how i approach problem-solving. i just jump into the situation and see what part of it is closest and start there, or what’s convenient, or what just feels right or nicer or whatever.

This is a perfect description of a Lion secondary with a supportive Bird model. Like a LOT of neurodivergent people (hi!) you built yourself some scaffolding using the Bird toolbox.

and on one hand it could be that im not confident in my skillset enough to do things the bird way, but on the other hand, thinking back to my childhood and teenage years, when i had better executive skills and i wasn’t as completely scatterbrained as i am I now (i was, but not as bad in some ways), i still did this? like, all of my major life decisions where made on the spot based on instinct and nothing else

I’m definitely seeing the Lion primary come though as well. 

whenever i have a problem of the interpersonal sort i just face it and talk to the person and don’t bother hiding or sugarcoating things even if it means hurting that person because i don’t want to lie or come off as something i’m not, when i need to work on a project i don’t bother planning, i just jump in and a strategy forms in an organic way as i go, you know what i mean? isn’t that what this “charging” business means?

Yes.

anyway i have no idea which one is a model and which one is actually mine. i love learning things but i don’t care about actually using them. i mean i like it, of course, but it’s whatever. planning is tedious and it kinda gives me validation because im meant to be “smart” and i guess planning is what smart people do, but it’s annoying and nothing ever goes exactly to plan anyway so you just have to pause and plan again or whatever, and that’s just so boring and frustrating??

I get that you like Bird secondaries, and I get that the picture of “smart person” in your head looks like a Bird secondary but just like… come on…

why not just do the damn thing?? and then what you have to do will be obvious anyway?? and sure, if you planned ahead, maybe you’d already know what you need to do and you’d have prepared it and you’d do it better, but who’s got the time for that?? i can’t use my brain like that! i need to live the thing before it actually feels real enough for me to think about solving it.

I have never read anything more Lion secondary in my entire goddamn life.

i hope this actually made sense and i gave enough relevant information, my head kinda feels jumbled right now. i mean it makes sense to me but i don’t know how this reads from an outside perspective. maybe i should have planned this like an essay or whatever lmao

thanks a lot for answering these & running this blog!!! it’s dope and you give really good insights and you’re just a super cool person!

<3 <3 <3 

[yoichichi]

Bunny’s 200 follower event

request: ok this is for my baby, my shawty, my luv xoxo, my bitch, my world, my EVERYTHING 😩 @plutowrites her request was sent in private so imma keep it that way ❣️ please enjoy baby 💓

a/n: ok so I know you got boyfie kenma but this is who I’d match you with excluding that scary mf 😌😙 sooo say hello to boyfie #2 & #3

Reading your request, you have been matched with...

(づ￣ ³￣)づ Tsukishima Kei

I just knew eventually we’d come to this Pluto 😪 let’s address the mental illness that is being with Tsukishima 😪 IM JUST KIDDING PLS

Ok but no fr everything you’re looking for in a relationship? ^ this guy got

Tsuki is so funny idc

He’ll constantly be whispering snarky remarks in your ear about people around you and just absolutely dog on them and it’s SO funny

And sometimes he’ll just look at you after Hinata said something stupid like 😒 and ITS SO HARD TO NOT BURST INTO TEARS

Like this boy is gonna have you in stitches

And he’s so smart with it too like he’s so witty

He’s also the kind of guy where if you’re dying after he said smth he’s gonna look you up and down with a smirk cause he’s proud of himself LMAO

He’s also not clingey but a lowkey simp

Like he’d never in his fucking life admit to being a simp

But the speed at which he flips his phone when he thinks he might have a notif from you

And the way he will listen to the SAME song on rpt in those mf headphones if it reminds him of you

You’re his home screen too AND HIS EARS WOULD BURN SO BRIGHT RED WHEN YAMS FIRST NOTICES IT

Cause he’s using his phone to text his mom or smth and sees the home screen and is just 🤭😳😏 ~tsukiii

And Tsukis just

😒😐😳🙂

“Give me my phone, you can walk home.”

HES JUST SHY ABOUT LOVING YOU OK

Tsukishima is so decisive too I-

You’d be taking like 3 seconds too long to decide and he’d decide for you LMAO

Or you’d just give him a ~look like 😳🥺 and he’d just know and he’d roll his eyes and figure it out LMAO

Pls you’ll be somewhere and won’t know what you want to eat and you’re getting nervous cause your guys turn to order is coming up and he’d just order something for you he’d know you’d like and after just pull you into his side and kiss the top of your head

“You’re such an idiot.”

you’re VERY lucky he’s good at making good decisions LMAO

Ok he is going to be squishing your cheeks literally all the time????

Like you do anything and he’s grabbing your cheeks with one hand and moving your head back and forth while he talks to you in the mocking baby voice ya know?

“Oh you think you’re so smart baby~”

He’s mean but like, it’s ok cause it’s him and it’s h-hot 😦🤢 and he loves you obviously 🙄

 bitch you said banter that borderlines mean? This bout to be your favorite song^ all he DOES is bully

It’s his love language at this point

Your name in his phone is baby 🧡

But he says it’s just your name LMAO

Until you call his phone so he can find it and you see your contact name

Pls bully him about it he deserves it

It does not matter that you’re tall he will call you tiny literally any chance it makes sense

Can you reach things on the top shelf?

Yes

Does he care?

No

And he will grab it for you and be like

You’re too tiny I got it 🙄✋🏼 LMAO

Okok you mentioned you have eczema

One of Tsukis ways of showing he really does love you is taking care of you

He notices you’re getting low on your cream?

He already went to the store to get some for you

You’re having a flare up and feeling a little insecure?

He’s kissing your temple and whispering how beautiful you look today in your ear, hoping you’ll think about the way his hand is running up and down your arm and how he’s breathing down your neck, and the way the skin behind your ear is burning now from the second kiss he placed, rather than the way you’re eczema is making you feel

He’s a little more affectionate in public that day than he normally would choose to be

It’s subtle, things like intertwining your fingers and kissing your hand before pulling you in his direction rather than the way he’d usually hold your pinky and lightly tug you his way

Or coming up right behind you to look at something you’re showing him, towering over you with his chest against your back

“That’s awesome.” He says it sarcastically but still leans down to press a kiss to your cheek

“C’mon let’s get what we actually came for stupid.”

Even when he’s driving you guys there and back his right hand is resting on your thigh instead of the wheel, only moving to adjust the radio

He notices and his solution to bad thoughts is “think of me instead then bitch”

He keeps literally any and everything you’ve EVER made him

You met in highschool and now live together while you’re in college?

He still has those first things you made him in highschool in a little scrapbook album he made after a couple years of being together

Ok he eats the treats you bake in moderation in front of you ,,, but you’ve come across him more than once getting a midnight snack

🍪😦🧍🏻😅

Crumbs around his mouth and all LMAOOO

ok while he wouldn’t understand the basketball obsession completely he WILL put on a Raptors jersey and sit and watch every game with you and love your reactions

He’s even recorded games for you if you were too busy to watch it and then when you have the time to watch it he IS WEARING HIS JERSEY AND TURNING IT ON ALREADY AND YOURE JUST 🥺🤲🏼

But he’s just 😒 don’t make a big deal out of it

He takes things you’ve baked him to lunch every day bye

OK IM GONNA STOP NOW LMAO

Your vibe reminds me of...

Another suitable match for you would be...

(づ￣ ³￣)づ Jean Kirschtein

OK LISTEN THIS WAS SO HARD

I was reading and I was using my brain HARD I almost said Eren but I don’t think he’d be making smart decisions for y’all... and that mf is too indecisive y’all would really get nothing done LMAO

Apparently I just really love you and Jean

Okok ANYWAYS

Literally the most reliable and attentive mf

He’s a MASTER at being a simp without being too clingy

Always buying things you need from the store (he’s a lil bit of a rich boy too cmon now)

He remembers ALL of your favorite snacks and drinks

And when they change he makes a mental note of it

Literally a quarter of his brain is a roladex of your favorite Haribo gummy’s it’s ridiculous LMAO

He absolutely refuses to share things you bake him with literally anyone

God forbid Sasha gets a whiff, he swears he’ll fist fight her

ITS NOT JUST CAUSE ITS GOOD EITHER

He thinks it’s so special cause you made it for ~him so why tf should someone else get a taste 🤨☝🏼

He’s not even a lowkey simp at this point

The way he’d spoil you pls...

Like at some point you’re like Jean I- I only need so many necklaces

Yeah he’ll just move on to the next thing

Ok this a lil saucey but he’s definitely the type to buy you lingerie he wants to see on you

And if you’re feeling nervous or insecure he’s gonna be all over you and saying all kinds of things in your ear since you’re too shy to make eye contact

Your face is buried in his chest and he’s just running his hands down your sides and whispering little things in your ear like how pretty you are for him and how good you are for trying this on for him

ANYWAYS

He would love to bake with you as a date 🥺🤲🏼

I don’t think he’d be that great ... but he tries!!

And he gets to spend time with you, even if you are laughing at him 🖤

Another one who’s a decision maker

He’s gonna ask you more than tsuki would LMAO but ultimately he’s taking charge in the relationship

He just loves you so much pls

Your vibe reminds me of...

Baby I hope I did this justice 😪🤲🏼 I’m literally in love with you they better watch out... 🔪🧍🏻‍♀️......

Requests are open until February 26th 8:00 pm PST

-🐇out

[aquariusshadow]

Live!Blogging Legacies s3x16

So I ended up just watching ep 15 on my own time and decided not to liveblog it. I surprisingly enjoyed the episode a lot more than I thought since I’m not in the Star Wars fandom at all. But it was honestly probably one of my fav eps from the season minus the lethan shit.

So. Season finale here we go.

--

Honestly im not sure how I feel about already being a season finale? Like it feels too early

Oooooooo im vibing with the song tho

LANDON HI

I MISSED YOU

Where’s cleo?

There she is

We love a landon/cleo power duo

Daaaaaaaaaaamn landon

I do love this side of landon ngl

Hi Clarke

Yea…I did actually miss his character

Awwwww maleb superhero duo mission

“I’m starting to think traumatized is my permanent resting state” ahaha josie that hit too close to home there for a sec

Nor should you trust Clarke, josie

Hope are you really gonna steal the car…….

Yea its almost like everyone’s idealized versions of landon are just that…idealized

Hence why handon has a lot of criticisms in the first place

I love landon I really really really do

Im not critiquing his character at all—just his relationship with hope (I should probably do a separate post talking about my thoughts on handon as a whole)

OH CLARKES IN THE TRUNK

Duh

Im an idiot

Well I was right about the car stealing

Why does hope seem genuinely amused by Clarke

Idk what it is but its…..different???

Like I would think she would just be in a constant state of annoyance around him

But her facial expressions and body language convey the complete opposite

No no no

Why cant yall just let hope be single

Lizzie honey

Ik you love hope

And want to help her

But setting herself up with someone else

(that isn’t you or josie ehehe…..ignore me shhhhh)

Is not a good idea

Everytime I see ethan my methan heart breaks and the fact lizzie’s trying to set him up with hope just…hgnnnn

I do like the landon/cleo dynamic so far!

Ah there’s the annoyance I was waiting for Hope

Kaleb is literally so sweet

Just the way he talks about his feelings for cleo

<3

Lizzie: *trying to set ethan up with hope*

Also lizzie: *telling ethan everything she loves about hope*

Also also lizzie: ah…shit I’m in love with hope

Noooooooooo ethan don’t invite lizzie to toss the ball around

That’s methan’s thing

☹

Wait is that not landon

???

Uh no

Lizzie

You and mg didn’t have a ‘will they wont they’

You just weren’t interested in him

Like

Im sorry

The entire m*zzie trope was mg pining for a couple seasons

Then as SOON as he moves on

Everyone decides to tell lizzie that she likes him

So

Wtf is this ‘will they wont they’ bullshit she’s going on about

Finally a cleo/hope conversation

I’ve been waiting for this

Yea me too cleo me too

I really loved the cleo/hope dynamic this semester

So yea I guess that’s not landon???

Ethan: I’m kinda into someone else

Ethan’s forgotten memories: DAMN STRAIGHT YOU ARE AND HIS NAME IS MG

Malivor!landon?

Oh that’s disturbing

That’s really disturbing

Poor cleo she did not deserve that

Hope and Clarke are now frenemies im so down for this

That’s some really good advice Clarke

Im impressed

This finsie scene is really cute

Josie *concerned about lizzie hurting ethan*

Lizzie *probably about to date ethan cuz the writers hate us*

Josies concerns are legit

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Who asked for this

We had methan

Methan was RIGHT THERE

And while im still back and forth with hizzie

I do completely understand hizzie

So whyyyyyyyyy

Man poor kaleb

He fought so hard to try and tell cleo how he felt

Only to have his memories wiped of her

That sucks so bad

Oh good

Hope brought memories of cleo back

PANDA PROMISE

PANDA PROBABTION

I love the panda trio so much

Im vibin with this song too

Im very picky with tv show soundtracks

But this episode did good with the music (even if idk the songs lmao)

………..i understand the attraction to mali!landon now ahahah

OH MAN

“well this looks like a party” listen his voice I just—

His VOICE I JUST—

--

 So, lots of thoughts here.

I really liked that episode! I think the Mali!Landon reveal is strong enough to be a season finale type of cliffhanger but overall, this episode didn’t seem like a season finale episode...if that makes sense.

I loved the Maleb superhero road trip! It was very nice to see them together again. Cleo and “Landon’s” own road trip was very interesting and now I’m just curious on what their dynamic would be like with real!Landon. Hope and Clarke...idk I’ve always really enjoyed their dynamic. I don’t ship them romantically but I do really like what I see with them.

I’m so happy we got a Hope and Cleo reunion and conversation. It reminded me why I shipped them in the first place when Cleo compared their own struggles with destiny and fate being unfairly forced upon them.

Now. For the biggest bunch of bullshit this episode. It’s been a while since I watched a show as it was airing where it did something like this. Something so out of nowhere. Just. Why L*than? Is this a cop out? Are the writers really so out of touch with their fanbase? Like...if you HAD to put L*than together then they should’ve built it up from earlier this season. 

Talk about forced relationships.

I love the Panda Trio. That is all.

[ice-emperor-zane]

*inhales* Yellow cyan violet black gray claret penny ash jade pecan wine cherry ginger rust honey frost coconut fulvous mauve erin

Sorry not sorry I’m a curious simp

Oki, wow, this is a lot, aight lets do this lmao :)

Yellow: Name of an artist you think is underappreciated

oh god idk, hmm, @bigeloo? Idk im in a ninjago discord with them and sometimes they send their art there and its really cool

Cyan: Are you Religious? Spiritual?

I was raised Catholic but im now Agnostic (meaning I don’t know if theres a God or any Gods and im not gonna pretend to know)

Violet: Are you a part of the Lgbt+ community?

Yup :) Im nonbinary, im asexual, and i might be panromantic, or demiromamtic, im not sure, still questioning on that part tbh

Black: Would you ever try going vegetarian or vegan?

Im currently vegetarian, tho I dont care if yall eat meat or whatever, im lucky to be in a situation where I can be vegetarian and I completely understand that some ppl can’t or just don’t want to, besides, theres way bigger problems on this earth right now than wether people eat meat or not. I doubt i’ll ever go vegan, because cheese and chocolate is very tasty, but maybe someday when the vegan substitutes for those things improve, then maybe I might :)

Gray: How many Languages Do you speak? Do you want to learn more?

Mostly English, and very minimal French and Spanish from school. I’ve tried to learn Japanese before too from like duolingo, so i know a little bit of that, and I made myself memorise how to say ‘sorry, I don’t speak much of [insert language], do you speak English?’ in a few languages for if I ever end up traveling there before learning to speak the language. But im only really like fluent in English lol

Claret: Do you play an instrument? do you want to learn to play any?

I did piano lessons for about a year until quarantine and I’ve learnt a few songs from those youtube tutorials, but other than that I dont know any. It would be cool to do singing lessons, because unfortunately I am a little bit of a theatre kid and would love to randomly start singing ‘Michael in the bathroom’ from Be More Chill

Penny: Icecream or cake?

Both are poggers, probably icecream, but oh my fsm, my Mom makes the best cakes ever, she could do it professionally, they are so nice, yall have no idea

Ash: Can you do your own makeup?

Yeah, i love doing makeup, i once tried to have a makeup instagram account, it didnt go too well (i quit after about a month) but i still love doing it as a hobby :) (im actually trying to do makeup less at the moment though, it was making me a little bit dysphoric, but as an occasional thing, like being a drag queen, its great!)

Jade: Ever written fanfiction?

Yeah, mostly just one shots and little drabbles though, and I haven’t in a while, might start doing stuff again soon, maybe, idk

Pecan: Shuffle your playlist, what’s the first song that comes up

It was this: https://youtu.be/DGTDcZxs0ww (“Sub Urban- Cradles (slowed)”)

Wine: do you have a ‘type’?

Kinda debatable,, most/all the people I’ve dated have had similar vibes, but wether I actually liked any of them is a different question 😳😳😳

Cherry: youtubers you enjoy watching

Maybe Jessie Paege? Or Pm Seymour? To be honest, most of my youtube recommendations are somehow tiktok compilations, because my tiktok fyp has always been really weird so instead of actually using tiktok on the app i use it via youtube

Ginger: any sideblogs?

yeah and im embarrassed of them, yall will never know 😳

wait theres one yall can know about, i have the url “Wohira” but I’ve never like posted anything there

Rust: form of art you enjoy doing?

As well as makeup which i mentioned before, theres also digital art, which i do the most often :)

Honey: your thoughts on magic? Does it exist?

I think it’d be very cool if it did, and i hope it does? Like ive never seen magic stuff ofc, and i have my doubts that its real, but it sounds fun so like idk, maybe it is? I’d like to believe it is?

Frost: a -core you enjoy

Looking at the aesthetics wiki, i think maybe mostly bloomcore?

Coconut: a subject you enjoy learning about

Psychology, its all really interesting and i wish they taught it at my school, because where I am you have to take it as an option that only starts in 11th grade (currently in 9th grade)

Fulvous: another name you think would suit you?

Buddy im still trying to find one, im currently going by Rae and that seems nice maybe? but oh my god ive used like 20 names before now and not a single one of them seemed right lmao

Mauve: any unpopular oppinions?

I probably have a few, but i can’t think of them off the top of my head, and im not really looking for discourse,, so,,, no?

Erin: What Was/Is your best school subject

Ive already answered this one, i’ll copy/paste it? Oki so

Maybe maths? Or art? Tho honestly, none of my grades are consistent and I can go from an A to an Ungraded and back again in a heartbeat 😎 (and not even an F, an ungraded, like they litterally cant grade it its so bad lmao 🤩✨) I think it depends more on what teacher i have for the lesson and how tired I am on the day of any tests more than subject itself? If that makes sense lol

And its done! Heck yeah! :)

[amourology]

I’m glad I could make you feel that way. I hope you know that I do appreciate you and all of your hard work. You are an amazing person and deserve to be told such and that you are appreciated.

I have also spent way too much money on sims and expansions so do not feel bad lol. I think I removed the game right before the snowy escape expansion pack game out, but prior to that I think it had all of the expansion and game packs and most of the stuff packs. 😅 Sims and EA have truly owned me for a while lol. The amount of money I have spent on it is sad.

Also Schat is so freaking cute. I love the dynamics between Kaz and the reader. Kaz would definitely express his feelings in a way where the reader would have no idea what is going on and would think it’s an insult. Oblivious reader and pining Kaz is always so good and you wrote it so well. I also 100% love that you have used real Dutch nicknames. It’s so cool! I know reader doesn’t know what Kaz had said to her, but will you ever tell us? (If not I’m totally fine with that lol I am also just curious).

I know you mainly write healer!reader (which I believe I have previously told you that I love so much. If I haven’t, we’ll I am now lol). Do you picture all of them to happen in the same “universe” for the most part? Like does Belladonna happen in the same universe as Schat? I’m curious if you picture it like that when you write it or not. If they don’t and are separate that totally cool. If they are in the same universe, then I love that as well.

Anyway sorry for the crazy long message that probably has a million typos. I love your writing and think you are incredible. Time for me to go reread Schat 1000 times so it’s even with Belladonna and then continue rereading both lol.

I hope you’ve had a good night/day ans that tomorrow is good as well lol (time zones can suck and my schedule is weird already and so I feel like I barely know what time it is for me let alone other people, and I never want to assume people are in a similar time zone to me lol)

-🗝

🗝 STOP YOURE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY FR ONE DAY I—😭😭😭 you’re literally so sweet idk what i did to deserve u :(

for the sims, i really wanna get snowy escape & the cottage living ones too!! i’m just broke atm lmao so ig i’m gonna have to wait — glad to see im not the only one that spend way too much money on that damned game tho 💀

ahh thank u so much!! and yea i definitely think that the only way for kaz to express his feelings verbally would be when he’s 100% sure the other does not know what tf he’s talking about & i also feel like he’d just?? let them think it’s an insult?? as long as they don’t know how he really feels all is good lmao

and yea the dutch nicknames (or nickname really) felt so weird to write sksks idk mainly bc dutch nicknames make me cringe so hard (someone called me liefje once and it made me want to die 😩) and bc it’s just strange to me to write in dutch lmao like i haven’t done that since i was 13 💀

as for the sentence…i DO have the sentence he said to her written in my drafts & i’ll see if i can maken little blurb with it for u guys when i get over the ick of using my actual language into fics lol but don’t worry you’ll know eventually :)

i think i’m gonna switch between the “universes” for now! idk if it makes sense but schat definitely happened in a different universe than belladonna bc they’re both kind of moments were kaz and y/n realise their feelings for each other — when a fic is in the same “universe” as belladonna i’ll put a “fem!belladonna!reader” as the paring, maybe? idk imma think about how i’m gonna do that bc i do have some ideas planned that do take place in the same “universe”

DONT EVER APOLOGISE FOR LONG MESSAGES!! like ever. i promise i love receiving them, especially if they’re as kind as yours <3

for my timezone, im in CET! what’s yours? (if u don’t mind me asking off) i’ll put it as a little widget thingy in my phone :)

anyways, hope you have a good day 🗝 <3