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#i hope this is kinda a little bit helpful maybe???
rafecameroninterlude · 19 hours
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hey girly may i please request rafe and bitchy!kook!reader who see each other at a party after a breakup, and they can’t help but sneak off together? some arguing and hot make up sex pleaseeee. thank you!
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warnings: ex!bf!rafe, exes to lovers, slight angst, arguing, cussing, mentions of anger issues, descriptions of violence, rekindling, a little bit of jealous!rafe, oral (f. receiving), fingering, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, just a little bit of fluff
a/n: i kinda went off the request here and made them go home instead of really ‘sneaking away’ i hope that’s okay! i was heavily inspired by the song ‘best mistake’ by ariana grande <3 beware! this fic is a little long..
no contact. rafe wanted to smash his phone when you texted him that fateful night a little over two weeks ago, saying you were never going to talk to him again unless he apologized for getting angry and acting out of line. while he truly was sorry for yelling at you and breaking everything in his sight, he had too much pride to admit he was wrong. and it was because of that pride that you decided to dump his ass and ignore the hundreds of calls and texts he sent your way.
despite having to block his phone number, you couldn’t help but look at all the pictures and videos of you two, sad because you missed him, but pissed because he couldn’t just get his shit together and make things right. eventually, with a lot of convincing and even a little bit of bribing with a new purse, your besties had managed to get you up and into your hottest outfit yet before they took you to a party where they refused to tell you who was hosting.
after you basically obliterated rafe’s ego by not only ignoring him, but blocking him too, he told himself he wouldn’t be fazed if he saw you turn up at the end of summer party that topper threw every year. however, all thoughts of being nonchalant and giving you the same treatment back flew out the door when he saw you walk in with your friends, your mini dress hugging your thighs in a way that made his jaw tick. he would’ve had no problem with your outfit if you two were together.. but you weren’t.
which for rafe, that only meant he would be spending the night smashing faces in if he saw anyone looking at you. he kept his eyes on you the whole time, taking swigs from his beer until finally he ran out and was forced to go inside the kitchen. “hey, y/n.” you looked up. jeremy, a frequent visitor at the country club had approached you. he was sweet and very easy on the eyes. maybe a little too easy, he had a baby face and was a little too much of a pretty boy in your opinion.
“oh, hey ‘jer.” you smiled, calling him by a nickname you heard your friends say a while back. “you look great..” he complimented you. noticing your dress had ridden up, you pulled the hem down before thanking him. “that’s nice of you to say, thank you.” you laughed awkwardly as he seemingly stepped closer. “hey, uh, i heard you and rafe broke up, is that true?” at the mention of your now ex-boyfriend, you blinked. “i.. yeah. but i’m not looking for anything right now.” you shook your head.
“neither am i.” your eyes widened slightly as you felt his hand graze yours. wanting to change the subject, you backed away slightly before clearing your throat. “so what are you drinking?” noticing your discomfort, jeremy flashed you an apologetic look. “this? oh i just got water-” before he could say anything else, you gasped when he almost lost his footing, having been nudged super hard by none other than rafe himself. “woah, you gotta watch out there, man.” rafe winked at you before walking off, the man in front of you cursing under his breath.
“that was a lame move.” he scoffed. you looked past jeremy and at rafe who had his face turned. “i’m sorry, can you give me a sec?” you didn’t wait for him to reply before you followed rafe outside. as if he recognized the clack of your heels behind him, he spun around, making you stop as you two glared at each other. while his gaze slightly softened, you could still make out the roughness in his expression. “you did that on purpose.” apart of you was glad he did, since it gave you an excuse to get out of conversation with jeremy. then again, that was rafe’s intention.
“what are you talking about?” just then, a girl in a bikini walked by, rafe shamelessly eyeing her backside before giving you his attention once more. oh, okay. you smiled at him, arching a brow as he blatantly acted clueless. “you know what? i have someone waiting for me inside. ‘just wasting my time out here.” you whispered the last part, scoffing as you attempted to walk away. rafe dragged you to the side of the house, your hands coming up to shove at his chest.
“who’s waiting for you inside, ‘jer?’” rafe mocked jeremy’s nickname. “yeah, actually. why don’t you go and get the girl who’s ass you just stared at?” you shoved him again, this time making rafe take hold of both of your wrists as he backed you up against wall. “i was fucking with you,” he scoffed, “you’re the one that wants to go back inside to a guy who drinks water at a fucking party!” he laughed incredulously, like he couldn’t believe you would give that guy the time of day.
you swatted his hands away from your own. “i’m not doing this here. you’re acting like you aren’t the one who owes me an apology.” rafe pinched the bridge of his nose. “y/n..” you shook your head, feeling defeated as he stared down at you. “just leave me alone, rafe.” just as you were going to walk away, he spoke up. “then let’s not do this here! let’s have a serious conversation, i mean it.” you shifted, glancing up at him briefly. “and go where?” you arched a brow.
deep down, you knew where this was heading but you so badly wanted to hear what he had to say. rafe got close, resting his hand on the small of your back. “tanneyhill. the house is empty for the next couple of days, so if you want to yell, fight and scream, be my guest.” you sighed as if you didn’t want to go, walking past him and to his truck where he opened the door for you. your friends were definitely going to give you an earful after this.
the drive to rafe’s place was quiet and a little awkward everytime you had to pry his hand off of your thigh, his excuse being that it was just a habit. rafe knew when you broke up with him, for the thousandth time, that it wouldn’t be too long before he saw your catty self walking up the stairs to his bedroom. “i would like to be home by a certain time so get to talking.” you sat down on the edge of his bed, clasping your ring clad fingers together.
rafe shut the door, leaning on the hardwood as he took in your outfit. there’s no way you showed up at that party tonight with the intention of going home alone when you looked this sexy. strappy heels, a black lace dress that that showed a bra and thong underneath, your hair and makeup done so perfectly, he itched to ruin all of it. “you look stunning.” he crossed his arms over his chest, catching the way you swung one leg over the other.
“we’re not here for that.” you leaned back, resting on your hands as rafe nodded. “fair enough..” he started, “look, i’m really sorry. it was wrong of me to take my anger out on you and have no regard for your feelings when i was in the spur of the moment. i should’ve never yelled in your face when you were only trying to make me feel better, i should’ve never broke your things when you told me to leave, from the bottom of my heart, y/n, i’m sorry.” he kneeled down to your level, a silent act of submission. you stared at him.
rafe had a pleading look in his eyes. “i can see you’re sorry,” you barely reached for his jaw, stroking the side of his face softly before you withdrew, “but what are you going to do to fix it?” rafe had missed your touch so much, he swallowed thickly when your warmth disappeared. “would you believe me if i said i was giving anger management classes a try?” you narrowed your eyes at him. “no. do you have a confirmation email or something?” rafe laughed, knowing you wouldn’t be easy to convince.
handing over his phone without any hesitation, you typed in his pin, your birthday, before going to his mail and checking for yourself. sure enough, he had confirmation for not only one class, but an entire course that would take him approximately three months to complete. “please come back to me, baby. i need you.” rafe hesitantly placed his hands on either sides of your hips, your eyes softening as you gazed up at the man in front of you. god, you missed him so much, these past couple of weeks had been the worst.
“i need you, too.” you whispered, both of you leaning in at the same time before your lips melted against one another. cupping rafe’s face, you brought him up from the floor, your back relaxing against his sheets as he hovered above you. rafe had been dying to feel your hands on him, craving your touch like never before. with your dress rolling up your thighs, rafe looked down at the supple flesh there, wanting nothing more than to bury his face in your cunt.
“i was so mad when i saw you walk in looking like this.” you took your bottom lip between your teeth, propping yourself up on your elbows as rafe’s fingers hooked through the soft material of your thong. you watched as he slid the undergarment down your legs, your head falling back as he pinned your thighs to the tops of his shoulders. “rafe-” you reached down, your fingernails running across his skin. he hummed, cupping your soaked pussy as a gasp fell from your lips.
“use your words.” he traced your glossy folds, cursing to himself at the sight. “my heels— they’re still on.” you blinked hazily when you felt his thumb tease your sensitive bundle of nerves. “yeah? they’re gonna stay on.” you moaned when his tongue finally made contact with your clit, your back arching off the bed as he splayed a hand across your tummy. letting out a cry, rafe ate you like man starved, which in a way he was. two weeks was too long, and he was going to unleash all his pent up frustration on you in a way that would have you writhing in pleasure.
rafe knew your body like it was the back of his hand, and he didn’t hesitate to use that to his full advantage. while still lapping at your clit, you fought the urge to shut your thighs around his head when two of his fingers prodded at your entrance. he groaned when he thrusted them into you, your pretty sounds serving as music to his ears. the coil in your stomach only grew tighter until rafe had your thighs trembling, your first orgasm of the night making all the air leave your lungs.
you cried out, rafe appreciating the way your hips stuttered in a poor attempt to chase his tongue. you blinked up at the ceiling when you came down from your high, rafe wasting no time in flipping you over and grinding his erection into your backside. with one hand, rafe gathered your hair in a makeshift ponytail and with the other, he grabbed a pillow, placing it under your hips so he could shamelessly rut against you. leaning down, he kissed you sloppily, both of you moaning as you tasted yourself on his tongue.
taking himself out of his jeans, he wrapped a veiny hand around your throat, thrusting into you without warning. “oh my- fuck!” you squeaked out, your walls fluttering around his cock. rafe shut his eyes, his mouth ghosting over yours as he fucked into you hard and slow. “did you miss this?” rafe went deeper with each thrust, balling up your dress to pull you against him. “yes. yes, i missed this so much!” you whimpered, meaning every word. rafe never wanted to be apart from you ever again.
the discomfort from having your heels on was slowly but surely melting away as rafe replaced that feeling with pure bliss, your walls stetching deliciously around his length. for two weeks, the only thing you could imagine feeling was the warmth of rafe’s body against your own, your heart blooming in your chest at finally having that back. “fuck, i need to see your pretty face..” he rolled you over, slotting himself between your thighs before picking up his pace.
you gazed up at him, already looking fucked out as he groped your tits through your dress. “all this breaking and making up, i don’t wanna do it anymore, baby,” rafe tucked a piece of hair behind your ear before stroking your chin, “m’gonna go crazy if you leave me like that again.” you nodded at his words, your eyebrows drawing together in pleasure. “promise. i promise i won’t do that anymore.” you started moving your hips, meeting his thrusts as he groaned, leaning down to bury his face in the curve of your neck.
wrapping your legs around his waist, you didn’t leave him any room to pull away, his toned stomach slapping against your clit as you two rolled your hips in desperation to feel the other finish. “ah, fuck,” your nails clawed against his skin when you felt his teeth nip at the sensitive spot of your neck. with the way you were moaning rafe’s name in his ear, and your pussy swallowing him whole, it wasn’t long before you two started shuddering as the waves of euphoria washed over you both.
he never failed to make your head pound with your orgasm, quite literally stealing your breath away as you made him lose all train of thought, his ability to hold himself up nearly impossible with your greedy cunt milking him for all he had. “shit.” rafe breathed out, pressing a kiss to your temple before pulling out. you hissed, whining shortly after at the empty sensation. as much as you wanted to feel his arms around you, you wanted a hot shower and a wardrobe change more than anything else.
as if rafe could read your mind, he carried you to the shower where he undressed you and bathed you. he continued apologizing for the way he treated you weeks prior to tonight. even after he had you in nothing but one of his t-shirts, he spent the night inhaling your sweet scent while telling you how perfect you were for him until you fell asleep in his embrace.
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darlingdaisyfarm · 3 days
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Their reaction to tears (Stan & Ford)
Stan
Perhaps from the outside it seems that Stan is not a very sentimental guy. It’s wrong. Yeah, hugs make him feel nervous if they go on too long, and feelings? He’s spent most of his life avoiding those altogether. So when Stan sees you crying, his first reaction is to freeze. He’s really lost. And it’s you, so he can’t just brush it off or pretend it’ll go away. Not when you’re standing there, your shoulders shaking like that.
“Aw, kid. . .” he finally steps closer, rubbing the back of his neck, clearly feeling out of place. His eyes flicker over you, taking in your trembling hands, the hiccuping breaths.
He doesn't ask you for an explanation, he doesn't force you to pour out your soul. He knows that sometimes silence is better than any conversation, but the way he rubs slow circles into your back, the way his chin rests atop your head, you know he’s there. It's not very graceful embrace. It’s more like you’re getting wrapped up in a bear hug that’s meant to keep the rest of the world out. He squeezes you tight, maybe a little too tight, because that’s all he knows how to do. Hold on and hope it helps.
“Shh, it’s alright. I gotcha,” he mutters into your hair, though he sure as hell doesn’t know how to handle your tears, but he’s trying. “Whoever made you feel like this? I’ll knock ‘em into next Tuesday, swear to god.”
You let out a half-laugh, half-sob at that, and he pulls back just enough to glance down at you, raising an eyebrow like he’s confused by the sound. “What? You think I’m joking? I’ll even wear brass knuckles for the occasion.” his thumb brushes away a stray tear. He frowns, like maybe he’s mad at himself for not fixing it faster, for not knowing what to say to make it all go away. “C’mon, sweetie,” now his voice a little softer, “You’re tougher than this. You’ve got me. Ain’t nobody messes with you when I’m around, okay?”
“It’s. . . It’s so stupid, Stan, i don’t even know-“ you try to explain, sobbing and bursting into tears.
“Tell me, who do I gotta rough up for this? ’Cause I can call in some favors. I know a guy who knows a guy.”
You sniffle, laugh breaking through and he grins at that, just a little. He hates seeing you cry, but getting you to smile, even if it’s weak, that’s the goal.
“There we go,” he says, all smug and proud. “See? That’s better. You keep cryin’ like that and I’m gonna have to start cryin’, and trust me, you don’t wanna see that. I’m an ugly crier.”
Stan stares at you a bit longer than usual before continuing. “You know, tears aren’t your best look,” he says after a moment, his thumb brushes your cheek, wiping your tears in a way that’s more careful, gentle, than you’d expect. “You’ve got a real pretty face, baby, but it’s kinda hard to see it through all this mess.”
You laugh, even if just a little, because that’s. . . That’s just Stan. He’ll drag you out of your darkest moments, even if he has to fight the whole damn world to do it.
Ford
Ford is a man of deep thought, logic and intellect. But when he sees you break down in front of him, crying softly, trembling and sobbing, it shakes something in him that’s far beyond logic. His heart stumbles. The man who’s faced interdimensional monsters, who’s braved the edges of space and time, suddenly feels lost when he sees you like this.
At first, he doesn’t move. He’s watching you, brow furrowed, processing. Ford wants to understand, to fix, but emotions aren’t equations and you are something far more complex than anything described in his journals.
“Hey. . . hey,” he whispers, finally reaching out, his voice soft, calm, quiet. He’s cautious, careful, like he’s afraid of overwhelming you. His hand hovers for a moment before settling lightly on your arm. “What’s wrong? what happened?” Ford asks because he needs to know. He needs to dissect the situation, to piece together what’s hurting you so he can find a solution. But there’s more to it than just answers for him.
When you can’t quite form words, when your tears keep spilling, he gently pulls you closer, his hand resting on your back as he guides you to sit with him. His touch is gentle as he slowly, soothingly runs his thumb over your shoulder.
“You don’t have to talk yet,” he speaks, his breath brushing against your temple. “I’m here.” and those words, so simple, carry so much weight coming from him. Because Ford isn’t a man who offers empty promises. If he says he’s here, he means it in every sense.
And then, because Ford can’t help the way his mind works, he begins talking in that soothing voice of his. “You know,” he starts in a thoughtful tone. “tears are a natural response to emotional stress. It’s. . . it’s a sign of strength, not weakness. Your body is releasing what it can’t hold anymore.”
Ford is not trying to seem all smart and logical, it’s just how he comforts, by giving you the understanding you deserve, by showing you that it’s okay to feel everything you’re feeling, by explaining you. And when you hear him, his hand moves to gently wipe away your tears with the pad of his thumb, so careful, like he’s touching something sacred.
“Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out together,” Ford promises you. “You’re not alone in this.” he kisses your forehead, slowly, letting you feel his presence. And when you’re breathing just a little steadier, Ford tilts your chin up, his eyes searching yours, and there’s nothing but warmth in his gaze. “You’re going to be alright.” he says, and somehow, you know he means it.
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solxamber · 2 days
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hiii~ I saw that you had the tray open 👀 I liked the request about reader angel so I was wondering if I could request something similar with reader being a cherub but a mischievous and rebellious version in addition to keeping his nature a secret and pretending to be a human? (for Jamil, Rook, Vil and Lilia) thanks in advance and have a good day ^^)/
Jamil, Rook, Vil, Lilia with a Cherub! reader.
thank you for the request, I hope you like it!
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Jamil Viper
Jamil had always suspected there was something odd about you. It wasn’t just your tendency to show up exactly when something chaotic was about to happen, but the way you somehow managed to always diffuse situations with that sly smile of yours—like you were pulling the strings from behind the scenes. You, on the other hand, were doing your best to pretend you were just another student at NRC.
One day, as he was wrapping up a particularly stressful training session with Kalim, you approached him with your signature grin, holding out what looked like a poorly wrapped sandwich.
“What’s this?” Jamil asked, raising an eyebrow.
“A peace offering,” you said, your eyes twinkling mischievously. “I noticed you’ve been a little, uh, tense.”
Jamil sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Gee, I wonder why…”
You chuckled, nudging him with your elbow. “Come on, Jamil, lighten up! Not everything has to be so serious.”
Jamil eyed you suspiciously but took the sandwich. As soon as he bit into it, his eyes widened. “This… this is amazing,” he said, shocked at how something that looked so amateur could taste so perfect.
“Yeah, well, let’s just say I have my ways,” you said, your smile growing wider. “What? You think I’m just some normal person who stumbled into this school?”
Jamil gave you a sharp look. “Wait… you aren’t just a regular student?”
You wiggled your eyebrows. “I’ll give you a hint: I’m kinda like your own personal guardian angel, except I’m not great at the ‘innocent’ part.”
He blinked, trying to process this. “You’re… an angel?”
“A cherub, technically,” you corrected. “But, you know, I got bored of playing by the rules.”
Jamil stared at you for a long moment, then sighed, shaking his head. “Of course. The one person who actually makes sense around here, and you turn out to be an actual celestial being.”
You grinned, leaning in a little closer. “Don’t worry, I’m on your side.”
Jamil couldn’t help but laugh, the stress from his day melting away as he looked at you. “I’ll hold you to that. Just… maybe don’t tell Kalim?”
“Not a word,” you promised, but your mischievous smile told him that you might not be as innocent as you claimed.
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Rook Hunt
Rook had an uncanny ability to sense when someone wasn’t being entirely truthful, and that’s exactly why you loved teasing him. Every time you managed to dodge one of his questions about your past, you could practically feel his intrigue grow.
One afternoon, as you lounged under a tree in the courtyard, Rook approached you with his usual theatrical flair. “Ah, mon cher! The enigma that is you continues to captivate me.”
You grinned up at him, enjoying the attention. “What can I say? I like keeping things interesting.”
Rook knelt beside you, resting his chin on his hand. “But who are you, really? I’ve noticed the way you move, the way you always seem to be in the right place at the right time… surely, you cannot be just another student.”
You stretched out lazily, tilting your head as if considering whether to tell him. “What if I said I’m a cherub, here to cause a little mischief?”
Rook’s eyes gleamed with delight. “A cherub, you say? How fascinating! And yet, cherubs are known for their innocence, are they not?”
You laughed, sitting up to meet his gaze. “Yeah, well, I guess I’m the black sheep of the cherubs. Got tired of sitting around and watching people from afar.”
Rook looked absolutely enchanted. “Ah, how marvelous! A rebellious angel, seeking thrills among mortals. You truly are one of a kind, mon cher.”
You leaned in a little closer, your playful smile never fading. “Maybe I just wanted to keep an eye on you, Rook.”
He placed a hand dramatically over his heart. “To think that such a celestial being would take an interest in me… I am truly honored.”
You couldn’t help but laugh at how easily he fell into your playful banter. “Just don’t expect me to be all fluffy wings and harps, alright?”
Rook’s smile was dazzling as he leaned closer. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
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Vil Schoenheit
Vil was far too observant for his own good, which made hiding your true nature as a cherub a bit of a challenge. You had to be careful, constantly balancing your mischievous streak with maintaining your “normal” student cover.
But one day, as you were sitting in the dorm lounge, Vil glanced at you, his sharp eyes narrowing slightly. “You’re hiding something,” he said, not bothering to soften the accusation.
You gave him your most innocent smile. “Who, me? What could I possibly be hiding?”
Vil crossed his arms, his gaze never leaving yours. “Don’t play coy with me. I’ve seen the way you handle certain situations with… a peculiar ease.”
You tilted your head, still smiling. “Maybe I’m just good at handling things.”
“Or maybe you’re something more,” he countered, his tone sharp but curious. “Perhaps even something… supernatural?”
You laughed, unable to help yourself. “You’re too good, Vil. Fine, you caught me. I’m a cherub.”
Vil blinked, momentarily taken aback. “A cherub? You’re telling me you’re an angel?”
“Technically,” you said, still grinning. “But don’t get any ideas. I’m not the pure, innocent type.”
Vil stared at you for a moment longer before sighing. “Why am I not surprised?”
You leaned forward, resting your chin on your hand. “Maybe because I’m always one step ahead of you?”
Vil smirked, clearly amused despite himself. “That’s a bold claim. And what, pray tell, is your goal here?”
“Maybe I just wanted to see what it’s like to live among humans,” you replied, your voice taking on a more serious tone. “You’d be surprised how different things look from up there.”
Vil watched you carefully, clearly intrigued. “I see. Well, whatever your reason, I can’t deny that you certainly know how to make an impression.”
You winked at him. “Only the best for you, Vil.”
He chuckled, shaking his head. “Flattery will get you nowhere. But I suppose I’ll allow you to stay… for now.”
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Lilia Vanrouge
Lilia was no stranger to magic and strange beings, which made it a little too easy for you to keep your secret from him. After all, he’d probably just laugh it off, right?
One day, while the two of you were sitting together after a particularly chaotic training session with Sebek, you decided to drop a little hint about your true nature.
“You know,” you began, leaning back on the bench, “I’m not exactly what I seem.”
Lilia raised an eyebrow, his mischievous smile already in place. “Oh? And what, pray tell, are you hiding?”
You smirked, deciding to go for it. “I’m a cherub. But, you know, the rebellious type.”
Lilia burst out laughing, clapping his hands together in delight. “Ah, I knew there was something different about you! A cherub with a mischievous streak? How delightful!”
You shrugged, grinning. “Got bored of sitting around and being all pure and innocent. Figured causing a little trouble might be more fun.”
Lilia’s eyes sparkled with amusement. “Well, you’ve certainly found the right place for that. And here I thought you were just an ordinary human.”
You leaned closer, your voice teasing. “Do I look ordinary to you?”
Lilia chuckled, his smile widening. “Hardly. You’re quite the fascinating creature, aren’t you?”
You winked. “I try.”
Lilia gave you a sly look. “Well, if you ever tire of causing mischief alone, you know where to find me.”
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viperwhispered · 6 months
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Too Hard
Woop part 2 of the trip inside Jamil's head. Part 1 here.
The next time Jamil caught sight of you on campus, his first instinct was to turn around on his heel.
What a stupid thought to have because of you.
Besides, that would only make him more conspicuous, not less.
So, when your eyes met his, Jamil gave you a short nod in greeting. He would’ve left it at that and kept on his way, had you not walked up to him.
“Hi Jamil! How’s it going?” you said with that impossibly disarming smile of yours.
Why was it so difficult to look at you like he normally would? You had no right to make him feel so stiff, so unnatural.
On autopilot, Jamil exchanged a few pleasantries with you - those lessons from his parents had been instilled too deep in him for him to falter too badly in a simple exchange such as this. Still, Jamil quickly excused himself by telling you he still had to find Kalim before his next class.
Jamil didn’t miss the way your smile faltered. Had you hoped to get something out of him?
“Oh, okay. I’ll see you two later, then.”
Something about that irked him, though Jamil did not allow himself to dwell on it further.
His heart really had no business still racing as it did when he walked away, unaware of the frown on his face.
Just act normal. That’s all he needed to do.
After all, he had no time for dwelling in silly fancies.
If Jamil had been acutely aware of you before, it only seemed to worsen now that he was making a conscious effort to not act any differently with you. In fact, the harder he tried to keep you out, the more you invaded his thoughts, unsettling him.
The most innocuous words from you looped in his mind, and even the simplest actions caught his eye. For goodness's sake, he’d found himself staring at you while you were queueing up in the cafeteria the other day, not even doing anything other than standing around and looking bored!
For once, Jamil found himself grateful for all his duties. At least they provided him with something else to occupy himself with.
After all, if he was busy enough, it was difficult to think about those bright eyes of yours, your sweet laugh, or the way you bit your lip while thinking.
Still, sometimes it felt like no matter which way he turned, you were there, ready to throw him off-kilter. Not like it was his fault that often the most convenient route to class intersected with your daily routines. Or that your face seemed to jump out from any crowd, catching his attention.
Which certainly did not help his basketball performance. Jamil certainly did not recall you having such an interest in sports before, yet suddenly you were always there, distracting him. What had changed?
Could you possibly-
Jamil scoffed to himself, forcing his thoughts back on track for the nth time that day.
He picked up the tray of food and started taking it to Kalim. After dinner, he’d need to help Kalim with his homework, there were some housewarden tasks that would need dealing with, not to mention the preparations for the next-
Jamil froze in his tracks.
The voice he heard was quiet, but it was unmistakably you.
Really, it should not have come as such a surprise to him. You had become a rather frequent visitor to Scarabia, and Kalim often invited you to stay for meals. In fact, Jamil had started planning the dorm’s meal prep with your tastes and dietary restrictions in mind, just in case.
Jamil rounded the corner with strange exhilaration, his heart fluttering needlessly.
Yet, his mood evaporated when he saw you.
Why did you stop talking and look so guilty as soon as you caught sight of Jamil?
Jamil knew that look you gave to Kalim, had used it himself a thousand times. The one telling Kalim to keep quiet about something.
What could there possibly be that you would be comfortable sharing with Kalim, but not with him? That would give Kalim reason to sit so close to you, a comforting hand on your shoulder?
Jamil's mind raced with possibilities, yet could not settle for any single explanation.
He’d have to ask Kalim about it later.
Jamil gave you a short, polite greeting, his eyes lingering on you in an attempt to read what you were hiding.
“If I’d known you were coming over, I would’ve prepared something for you to eat as well,” Jamil said, already thinking about which parts of the dorm’s dinner to spruce up for you.
“Oh, no need, just figured I’d pop by. I’ll get out of your hair soon enough,” you said, something sheepish about your expression.
As expected, Kalim asked you to stay and dine with them, and with just a bit more persuasion you agreed - though not before telling Jamil that he should join you too and have himself a breather.
And since Kalim agreed with you, Jamil soon found himself sharing a meal with you and Kalim. Yet, even as he sat down with the food, his mind raced.
Had you been getting particularly close to Kalim lately? But surely Jamil would’ve noticed such a thing. Maybe someone from the dorm had been giving you trouble? But if that was the case, then surely you could let Jamil know about it, too. Unless for some reason you did not want to? But if it was something that concerned Kalim, then sooner or later it was bound to concern Jamil, too.
All the while, Kalim was talking to you about this and that, the latest topic being the animals kept on the Asim estate.
“I’ve got some pictures, let me show you!” Kalim said with an excited grin.
Only, a thorough patting of his pockets and a look around confirmed that Kalim’s phone was nowhere to be seen.
Jamil pinched the bridge of his nose. Where had Kalim left it this time?
Before Jamil even had the chance to say that he would handle it, Kalim sprinted off. Jamil hesitated for a moment, automatically halfway up from his seat, before he decided that leaving a guest unattended would be a worse offense than not helping out his master.
Jamil slumped back down with a sigh, mentally tracing the path Kalim took today, trying to recall the last time he saw Kalim handle his phone.
“Breathe. He’ll manage,” you said. There was the faintest of smiles on your lips, and Jamil could not decide if it was knowing or amused. Perhaps both.
Somehow, despite his frustration, Jamil’s own lips wanted to curl up too.
“Hmm. Maybe he will.”
Sure, Jamil could’ve called Kalim’s phone, to make it easier to find, but it was not that urgent, was it?
Jamil took another bite of his food, keeping an eye on you from the corner of his eye.
How was his mind so empty and so buzzing at the same time?
“You know-”
“So-”
You looked at each other, both just as surprised that the other had spoken up at the same time.
Even your surprised look was so-
“You first,” Jamil said. The way you bit your lip... Jamil had to raise a cup to his lips, slowly sipping his drink.
“Just… Feels like it’s been quite a while since I’ve seen you be still, you know. Or exchanged more than two words with you,” you said. You were attempting a light, joking tone, yet it was quite clear there was more to it.
“You say that like it would be unusual for me to be busy.”
He was not prepared for the way your soft sigh tugged at his heartstrings.
“No. It is not.”
You were both quiet after, poking at your meals. Normally, Jamil would’ve cherished such a moment of peace, yet this particular silence between you two was decidedly awkward.
Where was your usual chatter? Why weren’t you looking at him like you usually did?
“If you’re worried about me, don’t. I’m fine,” Jamil said, some softness creeping into his tone despite his best intentions.
“That's what Kalim said too,” you said. Yet the way you looked at Jamil made it clear you were still skeptical.
Wait.
Had you clammed up earlier because it had been Jamil you had been talking about with Kalim? That Kalim had comforted you about?
The thought twisted his stomach into knots.
Eta: you can find part 3 here, part 4 here, and finally part 5 here. Hasdhfsdf the way I fought with that last scene I swear. I don't even want to know how many versions I went through, trying to figure out how to say what I wanted without rubbing it into your face or making it too veiled. The joys of trying to convey things through a limited pov. Hopefully it came out reasonably balanced in the end. Rip to all those sentences that were lovely on their own but didn’t work for the whole. Hopefully I can rehome y’all one day. I do have thoughts for part 3 and part x (might be some chapters between those two as well, who knows at this point), so maybe we'll see those at some point, too. Tag list: @colliope @crystallizsch @diodellet @jamilsimpno69 @jamilvapologist @twstgo If you'd like to be tagged for future works, let me know! (Just be aware that sometimes I do also write nsfw, though you can certainly ask to be tagged only for particular kinds of works.)
#twisted wonderland#jamil viper#twisted wonderland x reader#jamil viper x reader#ner writes#jamil definitely knows how to deal with his feels#also writing this is making me wonder how aware jamil is of his inner versus outer life#like he’s very aware of how he comes across because that’s what he’s been told to watch out for#but how well has he truly learned to understand himself and his own feelings wants etc?#(I mean as you can tell I’m assuming not very well)#originally this went to more of a “jamil hears just the wrong part of the conversation” route but#a) I kinda hate that trope especially when it’s dragged on beyond belief and#b) Kalim maybe doesn’t want to spill anyone’s secrets but he really is such an open book especially with Jamil so#also it’s not like jamil needs the extra help to catastrophize he already does that well enough on his own 🙃#tho then I went a little too far in the other direction and had to pull back#but let's just hope I didn't edit this to death by now#also also: since I seem to have a bit of a naming theme going on for this series#if I were to be the sort to go for the angst route what part would definitely be titled Too Late or something along those lines#also x3 but loved folks commenting on that part about reader being inoffensive in the first part#I certainly had fun writing that line#(and in general extra love to everyone who leaves comments on tags replies wherever always great to read those)#(and in general chat with y'all)
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skrunksthatwunk · 10 months
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love like you / maternal pang
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bonus under cut:
the first stephanie + the maternal pang tone destroyer i couldn't include bc it's a serious comic
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#you might wanna zoom in for this one sorry#anyway i think putty likes orel. not enough to really get off his ass and help him but there's a fondness there#and i think his position of power relative to the rest of the town could be helpful in influencing things if he like. believed in them more#but he doesn't really expect any better from himself or the rest of moralton and i think it's because he doesn't really believe goodness is#attainable esp by christian/biblical standards. he thinks it's kind of a pretense for everyone. but then stephanie is good so what does tha#say about him? or moralton? i think he'd get a bit better with her around.#it'd make him insecure but she's an encouraging type so. maybe he'd get there eventually#we don't get to see much of that but eh. i think this show is hopeful at the end of the day. i don't think moralton WOULD change much but i#Could change a little. um. anyway that's what this comic is about lol#also im in love with stephanie. so.#moral orel#orel puppington#rod putty#reverend putty#stephanie putty#skrunkart#sorry if the models are kinda inconsistent i haven't drawn these fellers before#it's occurring to me that this is probably the longest comic i've posted on here? just by panel number anyway#which like. moral orel deserves it but that's kinda surprising because i've certainly made longer stuff before#but it's mostly oc stuff from like 3 years ago i never posted and don't really plan on posting#i guess i just tend to stick to gags or quick emotional punches and this is a more lengthy character exploration#which i tend to save for fics. but it's winter break so i've got the time. maybe that's it#this was supposed to be a quick thing where i got to draw stephanie what happened. anyway more moral orel stuff on the way but sheesh#this one kinda got away from me is all. but i like it :)#also full disclosure i forgot to go back and figure out stephanie's tattoos and i don't care enough to. sorry steph ily but im done#also btw i DO think most of moralton are true believers they're just like. assholes/hypocritical. they're godfearing but lazy when it comes#to ACTUALLY helping people (or otherwise let self interest get in the way leading to loopholes etc)#sorry i haven't written about the show before so the meta analysis/interpretation is leaking in#does moral orel have an abbreviation? it's a pretty short name so maybe not. i think moror would be cute :)#also i discovered i can do half-tones on firealpaca so i wanted to try it out :3
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donaviolet · 2 months
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Friendship is the most special thing in the world because no award could be give me bigger happiness than jumping around in my room and smiling because my pookie asked me if I wanted to match pfps
#SHES AMAZING I LOVE HER AHHHHH#I hope we manage to find a cute bsd pfp it would be literally my dream#little vent tw!!#it's been so long since I matched pfps last time was with my ex who started being wayyyyy too weird..#and the other time was with a friend who started ghosting me some months later just because I didnt give her enough adopt me pets or smth 💔#and like. her stopping talking to be literally broke me as a person. it was devastanting for like 13yo me#woahhh thank you k. now I have social anxiety and keep dobting whether people really want me there or not#I still have a sort of love hate relationship w her but like its been over 2 years maybe 3 why do I still care abt it sm :<#especially since our other bestie is wayy more affectionate w k than w me it just makes me feel so weird like im sort of a 3rd wheel#but at least the friend im gonna match with is the sweetest person ever and we can be silly together :333#unfortunately we only know eachother from a course so we always have to wait 2 weeks to see eachother#and even tho i still see k almost every day shes pretty different now#but ive been feeling so so happy the last few days since school started and im afraid I might go back to being how I was when she returns#because. I bet my two friends will keep being silly together and ill have to sit w my ex again cuz hes still part of our friend group#I mean hes a nice and funny guy but I figured that a relationship wont work with us. I tried it and I just wanna be friends#I have a lot of fun w him but like in a platonic way#and im afraid he still thinks we should be together#meanwhile my besties keep flirting w eachother like??#I mean its pretty funny as a joke but I cant help but feeling kinda jealous especially because I used to have a huge crush in one of them#talked a bit too much ooopssss#Im just trying to move on but I hope k coming back doesnt start everything over again#anyways!! I love my bestie from the course smmmmmm Im still so so happy :D wish we could see eachother more#random stuff#chaos#friendship#violet rambles
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rosicheeks · 1 month
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how is the sale going?
🙃🙃🙃🙃
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fettery-fetterie · 2 months
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I'm just kinda thinking over what could it been had things gone just. Just every so slightly better
Had some fundamentals been challenged further
Had the right words be spoken
Had they didn't go all in
It's just so sad, because I ultimately do see them working on the right scenarios, but they're all just...fantasy, a fleeting dream, the unreachable
Oughhhh I love them so much. They're so doomed
#perceptive little crow#this is about teopeka btw#i just listened to something good can work and it was like 'man. this would've been the ideal'#because YES i do believe the first phase of their relationship was full of hope for the future for both ends#peka just found himself on a new world that seemed detached from the previous. he could start anew#tbh tho teo simply followed out of pity and a bit of hopelessness. I wouldn't be surprised if her life was just kinda shaking a couple days-#before she met peka. and after seeing what he was capable of she kinda just....relaxed. knowing it may go well after all#it was a gamble she took. but damn did it pay off. and she gets to enjoy the benefits for a fair amount too#then The Incident happened#then a new department that was the opposite of what she advocate for formed on the company she wanted to create#then she started being pushed more and more on administrative/executive roles and was basically out of the field#then she felt disconnected of her world. her passion. her people#no place to go to no shoulder to land on. she wasn't alone she just....was a deeply lonely woman at the end#sorry. im not even sure if this actually fits the direction I'd like her to go to on my au/fanfic. but ig it fits#anyways. maybe had stuff gone differently she would've enjoyed the benefits all the way through#she maybe could've had both sides of the cake#who knows#it's just kinda interesting to think about the gambles she took went it came to hlev/peka. both on moments of desperation/loneliness#both the same weird ass guy that she saw at first and went 'what the fuck is his deal'#both just...so endearing she can't help but love them#maybe she needs them as much as they need her#maybe any and all their relationships never were meant to last#but that's kinda dooming it further and honestly I'd like to see a happy ending (where i get to be with my crush x3!!!!!!)#so I'll leave one side to rot and the other to bloom. easy.#sorry im rambling too much now. night night
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So, I just??? Randomly just the motivation for this??? So enjoy more Tealstar stuff ig lol. Tried to do a lot here, not sure how well it worked for me. You can tell I got a little rundown at Tongbi's part, but I was still really determined to finish this, so. Here ya go.
   Chikao loved the storm.
   The smell of fresh rain and the swirl of dark clouds overhead lit up by flashes of lightning that split the sky in two and sent deep, booming thunder rippling over the land was something she could never get tired of.  Every lightning strike lit up her eyes, she could feel the vibration of thunder running deep within her bones, and the entire world was pulled just a little to the side by the chilling winds that whipped past.
   She was fond of the world after a storm, too.  The way the smell of rain lingered for a week afterwards, clouds drifted past so you could see sheets of rain coming down in the distance as they left, the sudden abundance of greens and the pinks and blues and yellows of plants as they sprouted up, the splashing of puddles gathered in random dips in the ground and squishing of deep brown mud as water sunk into the soil.  She loved that.  Loved everything about it.
   And the best part was that she could do it.  On a whim, whenever she wanted, she could summon the clouds and lightning and feel the very storm surging through her bones.  She could feel the world come alive in a way so, so different than it did in the shine of the sun.
   But, unfortunately, not everyone was so welcoming.
   And why weren’t they?  What was even the point of limiting her ability to create storms?  Why did she have to “register” a storm or whatever to create one?  It wasn’t like she was creating out-of-control tornados or setting forests on fire with lightning.  Most of the time, it was just a little rain to give the village crops a boost!
   But the Celestial Realm hadn’t seen it that way.  The first time Nezha had come down to meet her, he had called it “undermining the Jade Emperor’s authority” and “breaking the laws of the Celestial Realm” and “a matter to be taken seriously”.  But honestly?  How could she take someone that had come down to lecture her about why she couldn’t summon rain without paperwork seriously.
   And that was all it had been, for a while.  Something funny, eventually just a friend coming down to spar.  Barely an annoyance.  Not even a concern.
   And then Princess Iron Fan had joined him.  And they’d struggled over the winds of the storm, trying to turn them on each other to gain an advantage.  And then…
   Flash
   And then people had gotten hurt.
   And the Celestial Realm was angry.
   Stealing the Peaches of Immortality from their orchard?  That was probably just the cherry on top.
   But even when they’d come to arrest Chikao for her “crimes” (come on, they were peaches), they’d made a mistake to dare go after Tongbi.
   Chikao sighed quietly as she stared up at the endless night sky, the stars twinkling back at her like tiny diamonds against a sheet of inky paint.  It felt so close when the storm was swirling around it, the wind catching every little loose thing on the ground and throwing around every small hair out of place, but when the night was clear like this and she was laying on the ground beside Tongbi…it felt so, so far away.  She itched for it to be close again, to touch the clouds and feel their water in her hands. 
   She wondered if, in a world where Nezha had time, where Nezha could step away from his celestial duties and just relax for a moment, they could fly around through the clouds and throw water at each other.
   She didn’t live in that world.  She didn’t know.
   “Chikao?” Tongbi’s soft voice pulled Chikao out of her thoughts.
   “Yeah?” Chikao rolled onto her side to look at Tongbi, flattening the grass beneath her. 
   Tongbi’s eyes stayed on the sky as he spoke and his hands picked through the fur on his tail.  His voice was muffled by his dark green scarf as he buried his face into the fabric.  “You won’t let them t-t-take you from me, will you?”
   A small spark of anger flashed in her chest.  She’d said they’d be together forever, and she’d meant it.  No Celestial Realm would change that.  “Of course not.  And I won’t let anyone hurt you, either.”
   Tongbi didn’t respond and Chikao rolled back onto her back with a soft sigh.  She didn’t want Tongbi to worry.  He shouldn’t have had to worry.  She dealt with Nezha and Iron Fan on her own fine, didn’t she?  And then even when more celestials had shown up, she’d dealt with it.  But Tongbi was still worried, and Chikao knew well by then that the only thing that was going to soothe his concern was time.
   Time, or get rid of the Celestial Realm’s meddling completely, but she knew that wasn’t going to happen.
   At least, that’s what she thought, as the days went by and Tongbi slowly felt safe being outside of his library again.  As toddlers and children became teens and adults.  As people aged and grayed and passed.
   Until the Brotherhood reached out with a dream.  A dream of glory and ambition.  A dream of change and prosperity.  A dream of safety and comfort.  A dream of freedom.  A dream of storms.
   A dream of a day storms could freely brew in the days, and the skies would be theirs at night.
   A dream where the Celestial Realm wouldn’t meddle, Nezha could freely come and go, and Tongbi’s concerns would vanish.
   And Chikao took it.
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Tongbi hated surprises.
   The unexpected whirlwind of emotions he wasn’t ready for, having to think on his feet and his mind going blank, only moments to make a decision and if it was the wrong one he was doomed.  The mounting pressure of what felt like a mountain behind his head and the crushing weight of do or die that he just couldn’t pull himself out of.
   And the aftermath was worse.  Because then there were a hundred different feelings all weighing him down like boulders, telling him there was some way to alleviate their weight but not giving him a single how-to.  Sometimes the boulders were hot and sometimes electric and sometimes just heavy, and those meant different things, but he didn’t know what they meant.  But apparently, knowing what they meant and how to sort them out was the very key to getting them under control sometimes, because otherwise every time he thought about the surprise he would trigger another rockslide.
   Physically, Tongbi didn’t mind rocks, boulders, or even mountains.  Feet on the ground, dig his heels in, take a deep breath and move.  He could move boulders, sort out rockslides, split entire mountainsides in two that way.  The boulders he could touch the rough or smooth surfaces of were lighter than the ones that crushed his heart and held him down in the corner with tears spilling onto blurry pages, but never had a texture.
   Fortunately, people were welcoming.
   It had been a strange change after the curious chirps of the monkeys that found him hiding away in caves on Flower Fruit Mountain, but a warm one.  Chikao helped lift the boulders off his chest, explain some of the feelings and help him separate them apart so he could think without folding into a mess of matted fur and heavy emotions. 
   The warm nights of staring up at the stars and pointing out constellations as Chikao worked through his fur were the best nights he’d ever known.  Spending days reading books about the sun aloud and telling Chikao about asteroids that flew by brought him a warmth he could never quite explain.  Even the flower pin he had, with teal and red petals, served as a small comfort when he was alone, to remind him that someone cared.
   Though he had been nervous at first, the village was nice too.  Adults were happy to trust him to read about the phenomenon of eclipses to children and watch meteor showers with them, and the kids were always fascinated by his words and eager to ask questions and learn more.  Even on days where he didn’t have books, several of them were ready to ask questions and listen to him ramble. 
   And even as they grew and had more chores and work to tend to, nobody minded when he sat on a bench and read the afternoon away.
   Tongbi hummed a tune as his eyes scanned across neat words, written with meticulous precision.  Dust kicked up into the air as the click clack of horseshoes went by, but Tongbi was fully absorbed, the rest of the world blurred as he imagined how it would feel to step on the moon.  Would he feel lighter?  Would it feel like stone on earth, or dust, or powder, or something else entirely?  Would the stars look different?  What kind of new star charts could he make from there?
   “I’m bored!” The high-pitched whine of a kid caught his ear.  He almost called out to invite them to read, but…no, they probably didn’t want to hear him.  All of the kids he used to read to were teenagers or adults now, and had too much responsibility to bother listening to him anymore, and the new ones probably didn’t have any interest in him.
   “Hey, this guy’ll read to you about some pretty cool stuff, if you wanna.” Tongbi glanced up from his book to see a teenager with long black hair running down past her shoulders and freckles mixing with the dust and dirt on her face.  He felt a small flower of warmth bloom in his chest.  He knew this kid.  Did she still remember him?
   “Ooo, like what?” One of the children asked as their arms swung back and forth.
    “Well, you know the little white things that are up in the sky every night?” She smiled.
   “Uh-huuuuh.” The kid nodded.
   “Well, he taught me that those are called stars, and they’re actually very, very distant suns.” She said as she walked over to the bench Tongbi was sitting on.
   “Woah!” Three kids followed her, their eyes shining brighter than the sun. 
   “But suns don’t look like that.” Another kid frowned.
   “That’s the fun part.” She sat down in front of Tongbi and skimmed the title of his current book.  “He’ll explain the whole thing.”
   The kids promptly sat down in front of him, staring up with eager curiosity that filled Tongbi with warmth.  He started explaining, slowly at first, then faster when they only seemed more intrigued.  More children, kids playing in the village and teenagers he used to read to just finished with chores, came around him and sat down, enjoying his reading and explanations.
   He hoped this never changed.  And, luckily for him, it didn’t seem that was going to happen. 
   At least, that’s what he thought, as Tongbi’s reading slowly expanded to the entire village.  As toddlers and children became teens and adults.  As people aged and grayed and passed.
   Until the Brotherhood reached out with a risk.  A risk of danger and hostility.  A risk of battle and bloodshed.  A risk of pain and uncertainty.  A risk of imprisonment.  A risk of change.
   A risk of ferocious and bloody battles by day, and wounded and torn foundations by night.
   A risk of the Celestial Realm coming down with all their fury, Nezha would be injured, and Chikao being imprisoned.
   And Tongbi denied it.
   Tongbi denied the dream.  Chikao took the risk.
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sysig · 2 years
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What’s Bun-Bun’s signature colour? (Patreon)
#Doodles#BunBonBop#All these options and for the life of me I can't decide!#Is it the rainbow???? What is it!!#I was really hoping that scanning and editing would give some clarity - maybe by how easy it is to edit compared to Bon and Bop#Nope all I know is purple is the least likely but I already figured that#At least dark purple - maybe if I get a lighter purple lol#Also I'm pretty sure I mixed up Bon and Bop's shoe tongue-shapes lol - it's hard to keep all their little details straight!#Even with references on-hand and it Definitely didn't help that I was mostly offline at the time lol#I got them Mostly correct that's the important part and also they're not even the focus this time! They got their moment in the light! Lol#It feels a bit silly to try assigning a colour to Bun /now/ like - what about when I got the other pencils? Why not then?#I just didn't think of it at the time lol#I've always imagined her with a warm tone so it was probably getting the orange that was the reminder I needed#Now that I've tried it out tho I'm still not sure!#Purple would be really nice as a combination of the other two but Bunny is her own individual so hmm#Plus like I said that purple is way too dark and I'm not currently willing to get a lighter purple pencil just for her lol#I love her but I don't Need another purple pencil! ...Maybe for [Purple Text] someday...... but that's Someday!#Yellow would fill out the Primary Colour trifecta but eh that feels so done y'know?#I kinda already figured green wouldn't suit her but she does look cute haha - she's always cute that's the problem!#Orange isn't bad I suppose but it is very bright - Bun-Bun has always given me pastel vibes#Which I guess would leave pink? I'd feel really silly if it ended up being a colour I had At The Same Time of drawing the other two lol#I don't Dislike it - she's like a softer version of Bop (which she is! Personality-wise) and the culturally-recognized counterpart to Bon#Again feels a little done to have The Boy of the group be blue and the Soft Girl be pink lol#But I mean this isn't what they Actually look like - it's part of their brand#I could see the corporate side of things leaning into the stereotypical expectations#Having the fans recognize and maybe give a little pushback might be fun too hehe ♪#Plus they do still have their own aesthetics outside their signature colours - Bun-Bun is pastel like I said#Bon is probably like ''Cool'' - again leaning into his role as The Boy - but still cute and poppy - sporty I guess#And Bon would be a little more sleek - sharper edges more flattering than elegant - GirlBoss chic I guess lol#I dunno lol I need to do more work on what their brand actually is anyhow lol
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vani. my buddy my pal. any tips for dealing with bpd beyond "fantasize about destroying social bonds because god wouldn't that be nice". thanks (this is to say we're going through it) -🪴
oh damn yeah i can try to help a lil
find a healthy(ish) coping mechanism. for me when i get the urge to irrationally block people/lash out/etc, i either go play a game (i play rhythm games a lot bc it makes me focus on something else), just remove myself from the situation (i have a side account where i've blocked a lot of people off of it and go over there to scream and cool off and rb characters from games and shit), or just kinda. destroy stuff (WITHIN REASON). there has been a few times where i've dragged out old work from high school and just ripped papers into shreds to calm down. don't go like, throwing the good china at the walls or anything, just rip up some old school work or some scrap papers.
if you have the ability to, talk to someone. i can hash stuff out with sonata sometimes (if he's not actively encouraging me to be worse, or feeding into my delusions), other times i talk to my brother if they're willing, and they help me work stuff out. my dms and stuff are always open if ya need to talk, too :3 also just? talk to the person bothering you if you can in a rational way? (or even in a sort of "irrational" way, if they understand what you're dealing with). it helps me a lot to just clear out my feelings, and sometimes whatever's bothering you can be avoided in the future. or you'll just get told you're being irrational, which in my case kind of helps sometimes skgdhds
uh internal affairs can also help!!! like me and my headmates kinda have agreements for when i start getting a bit uppity and they're working on failsafes to kinda? make it less bad? for lack of a better way to describe it? so they just kinda. take over sometimes. if i'm being particularly irrational and petulant. so maybe working out something with your headmates can help out? (and if any of your guys share ur bpd sometimes it helps to have someone to scream with, even internally... unless they are enabling you/making you worse)
but yeah bpd is. a bitch. the best things i can offer you is to First, find something to calm down with, even a little. and then Second, go talk to whoever is bothering you (if you can) to try and work something out, or at least just get a better perspective on yourself. sometimes you're just being an irrational ass who's annoyed that your fp is spending time with other people... and sometimes you end up crying bc you think your fp is abandoning you bc they didn't say good morning to you at the normal time bc they fell asleep on accident. <- actual thing that happened to me. btw. so ! you just kinda gotta find what works best for you. i get my mind offa stuff with games, and try not to stew too hard in my own anger. although that doesn't always work, i am a very angry creature when worked up apparently. do ur best sys anon. if you need me i am here :3
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carcarrot · 1 year
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alright we're okay. it's all going to work out and happen. ive got my short film idea. i just have to make it absolutely perfect and then we're good to go
#my short film idea is a kinda sorta prequel kinda. to my Big Main Film Idea#essentially its just a little bit of silly backstory to a character that gets no backstory in the feature film#and this character is making a short film. and im playing the character. so im making a short film abt someone making a short film.#when i was first writing my Main Film Idea i was like ok yeah this character that im thinking of playing is obviously based on and like me#but as time went on i was like ah fuck. theres parts of me in every damn character#the good news is that this short film idea should be relatively cheap to make. im thinking of having only one filming location#and i could get a deal filming there bc i used to work there (my old cafe) so renting out the space might be cheaper#im not sure yet abt cameras. im thinking abt emailing my old film teacher and being like. hey. would you wanna help me make my film#i think he has some film cameras himself or if not he knows a lot of film people#but since this is essentially a one man (its me im the man) show i dont really need other actors. but im working on that#another problem of potentially many is that if and when this gets done. now what#ive got zero clue abt where to like. send my short film to be shown or whatever but maybe my film teacher could help w that!#before i do any of this i am going to finally finish that filmmaking course i bought. and then see where we go from there#but this still needs a lot of writing bc i havent done any screenplay work for this yet#and thus obviously havent storyboarded anything#i gotta get Organized <- least organized person on this earth#wish me luck that this will lead me on the path to my dream movie. we can all hope
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gailynovelry · 2 years
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Ember Warrior is now 58,500 words long!
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soulemissary · 2 years
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i honestly don't know how this internship is going to go but every time i see joke videos in my feed that're like software engineer/dev/whatever interns on their first day it makes me feel a lot better lmfao
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cryptidapprentice · 2 months
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eep!
#cryptic ramblings#in the tags#feelinggggg a little bit neglected by me irl friend group 😖#just like. every time i say smthn/yap a lil i dont tend to get much acknowledgement??#vs the other two will always get some kinda acknowledgement etc both from me and the other (theres 3 of us)#idk im hoping its my pre-period bs talking n overanalyzing things but like... idk#bc its like. we're all stressed bc of our jobs n like other stuff#n we all share w eachother! abt those stressors! n we sympathize n offer advice n help where necessary!#like these r my Best Friends. theyd both be my Co-Smthn Of Honor when i get married!!! so i dont wanna assume smthn negative abt em yk??#but i just... yknow... feel a lil... blergh#like neglected is kinda too strong but just like.. im kinda annoying??? bothersome maybe??? idk#like if uve seen some of my other tags ive been stressed tf out over cleaning my room bc i had a certain deadline (which was today)#n last night was the worst of my stress but it was the most id done n i shared this w them but another one of em shared some their own stuff#n we all responded to them while i did not get anything n it made me feel a bit ignored 🥴#n ik i should prob bring this up to them but like i also dont wanna guilt them into feeling likr they HAVE to respond to everything i send!!#bc sometimes i rly Do Be sending just stuff tht doesnt rly require a response like truly#n i get just not rly having anything to say either so mmmmmm idk#def think im overthinking it all n my dumb pms hormones or w/e are making me overreact as a result but i just wanted to vent a bit#get it off my chest. yk how it is#(i also hope this isnt the One Time one of em decides to hop onto tumblr after YEARS of not using it 🥴🥴)#IM the resident tumblrite so itd be quite a coinkydink if one of em hopped on outta nowhere 😖#...anyways... yeah thats p much it)#i love em!!! i dont think i could Not Love Em!!! but my brain's just bein rejection-sensitive or smthn#n taking the lack of responses twrd my shit as Rejections ig#is wack#end of vent. thanks if u read all this lol
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nunyverse-scribe · 8 months
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I need to graduate high school already so that I can be at peace with the fact that I will never have to hear abt my ex-girlfriend ever again.
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