#i hope they know i am eternally grateful to them for everything.

[knifetoheart]

i guess we really do just love and then lose anyway. people leave, people die, people who love us might sever the ties even though we love them back. it's all just tragedy. on loop. it has happened before and it will happen again.

and yet this is exactly what makes life worth living. that connection. that recognition. when we meet strangers who don't feel like strangers at all.

and yes, many of them become strangers again, but. the fact we get to meet them at all in this short life is what makes it all worth it. better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

or you know. whatever.

[moonlitdesertdreams]

Of Ghouls and Drugs

Request: "ok so I'm absolutely obsessed with that coop fic you did where reader helps him when he's injured and it's super domestic and fluffy....could you maybe do something where the roles are reversed and he helps the reader who's injured? maybe she's a little shaken up over it too and he calms her down and it's just very sweet and soft. thank you i adore your writing so much 💖" A/N: First of all, the reception of my Fallout content has been amazing. If you're one of the people who have liked/reblogged/replied/shared/saved/etc, I am eternally grateful to you. Second, thank you once again to the anon who sent this request! It's a bit of a switcharoo from Stuck Like Glue, so if you need some more Cooper content, check that out or take a peek at my Fallout Masterlist! Tags: Fallout, Cooper Howard, Cooper Howard x F!Reader, Cooper Howard x You, Ghoul x Reader WARNINGS: Canon-Typical language and violence Summary: Injured and scared, you can always count on your Cowboy to save the day.

Word Count: 1.7k+

(Gif Credit to @victoryrifle)

You don’t know why you’re hyperventilating. 

Sure, you’d been in countless fights and been scared more times than you can remember. In the Wasteland, if you’re not scared every now and again, you’re dead. But today, cornered in a decrepit open-air shopping mall store while a hoard of feral ghouls claw at the rusty security gate, you’re frozen with fear. 

It was an old clothing store, picked apart by scavengers and ravaged by time. Everything was covered in a thick blanket of dust, from the old checkout counter to the racks of high heels that sit untouched. Unfortunately for you, it hadn’t been a department store you ducked into where there could be some hope of escape. This one was a small boutique-type outlet with one way in and one impassable way out. Furthermore, the roll-down security door currently saving your life had been pure luck on your part. The lever for it was broken off and mounted on the side of the entrance; you’d only found it after the damn thing had torn your upper arm to shreds in your haste to get away. 

And now you’re ducked behind the checkout counter, old patterned men’s tie wrapped tightly around your bicep in a poor excuse of a tourniquet. You were out of ammo, banking on the security gate holding until the ghouls got bored or forgot about you. But there was something about today, about how they’d come charging from the darkness the second Cooper had left to turn in your latest bounty, that terrified you. Feral ghouls were shells of people with no logic or sense left in them, but the attack had felt calculated, planned. You argued with yourself, knowing they had basic instinct and probably just singled you out after another of their kind left.

Then again, maybe you’re conflating your fear of Cooper becoming one of them one day with the looming fear of death. 

Unable to do anything about it, you sit behind the counter and shake. Your breath comes in quick punches, inhales cutting off the exhales and vice versa. The iron smell of your own blood is overwhelming. Despite the tourniquet, warm liquid leaks down your arm and drips into a thick crimson puddle beneath you. Your backpack, full of stimpaks and every chem known to man, is abandoned just outside the gate. The damn thing had been torn away when you’d got caught on the jagged lever, beyond your reach and unable to be saved. 

The ghouls wail and groan while clawing at the gate, the sound of rattling metal echoing around the store’s walls. It’s deafening to the point where you cover your ears, accepting the fact that you’re screwed either way. Blood loss or ghoul attack, it doesn’t matter. Cooper’s long gone towards the last town, and you’re cursing the apparently lackluster job the two of you did making sure your camp was secure. 

“Take a look around.” He’d told you, “Getch’yu some new clothes if you need ‘em.”

Cooper’s voice and kiss goodbye lingers in your thoughts as you hold your hands over your ears. It’s a more pleasant thought than the ghouls outside. Your ghoul always keeps you safe. 

“Darlin’.” 

You almost smile to yourself, probably delusional from blood loss. 

“Hey!”

Your name slipping out of Cooper’s mouth dances across your foggy mind. 

“Goddamn it woman, open your eyes.” 

Something shakes your whole body, and your eyes snap open. 

At first it’s too dark for you to recognize any solid features, and you scramble away. The missing nose and scarred flesh blend together in your mind. You swing your injured arm in blind panic, which has the tourniquet breaking loose and bright arterial blood spattering the floor.

But you hear a voice calling through the haze. Soft and slow, like it’s calling to a wounded animal. “Ay, ay ay. Calm down now, sweetheart.”

You squint through the darkness, fighting dizziness. A familiar silhouette makes itself apparent. 

“Cooper?”

His face, weathered by radiation and pain, is usually twisted into a dramatic scowl. But right now it’s concerned, brow furrowed into worry that you’d never seen. The sounds of ghouls and impending doom have vanished. 

“It’s me, babydoll.” He almost coos at you, reaching out a hand. “C’mere.”

Your emotions rage, and tears burn at your eyes. You reach out a hand and brush the one he’s holding out, but your fingertips barely catch on the seam of his gloves.  You squeeze to make sure he’s real. He wraps strong fingers around your wrist and pulls you in. 

It’s easy to give in as his familiar scent and feel washes over you. Gunpowder and smoke are the main notes, but you catch the leather of his duster and the unavoidable grime provided by the Wasteland. The tears flow easily out the corner of your eyes and drip down your cheek.

“I-I don’t know where they came from.” You clutch at his coat, “Scared the hell out of me.”

Cooper is still moving despite you being all but wrapped around him where he’s knelt down. You feel his hands near your injured arm and instinctively cower. 

“Came from somewhere in that back parking lot, it looks like.” Cooper grits in his usual gruff tone, “Must’a got ‘em goin’ when they heard us. Waited ‘til you were alone.”

You sniffle pathetically into his coat, and it morphs into a strangled cry as he wraps the tie back around your arm. His other hand holds a broken piece of wood that he uses to knot into the fabric and twist. 

“Ah! Fucking hell, Coop!” Your protest is little more than a whine as your arm starts to go numb. 

“Sorry, sweetheart.” He murmurs, tipping his head back so he’s able to look in your eyes. “Don’t want ya to bleed out here.” 

You hold his gaze for a moment. “Why’d you come back?”

He helps you stand, giving you a moment to lean back against the counter and acclimate to the dizziness. Your eyes hold steady on him, watching lashless eyelids blink above gaunt cheeks.

“Vials.” He hooks an arm around your shoulders and the other behind your knees and lifts you up, “I wanted to have enough in case I got caught up.”

The slow cadence of Cooper’s walk almost lulls you into closing your eyes and he trudges silently to the shop’s entrance. You see gore splattered on the walls and floor, headless ghouls lying motionless at his feet. The top handle of your backpack is sticking out of the mess, and Cooper snatches it up. 

He walks for some distance, away from the pile of dispatched ghouls. He doesn’t stop until you come up on a store a ways away, advertising furniture and televisions. It seemed relatively untouched considering an atomic war and a two-hundred year wait. The Ghoul moves near the door, and you hear him clanking about with the lock. It takes a few tries and muttered curses, but Cooper jimmies it enough so he can get a toe nudged in the door. You attempt to help by grabbing the door, but he moves your hand back to his shoulder and pushes in on his own.

Cooper sets you gently on a shockingly clean and padded couch. The Ghoul is quiet, but gets to work cleaning the long gash in your arm. He gives you his inhaler, but there’s a strange canister clicked into the mechanism rather than his vial. You take a huff, and gag at the strong taste. 

“H-Holy Shit.” You cough, and it almost distracts you from the pain of a stimpak being stabbed into your wound. “What is that?”

Cooper unties the tourniquet when he’s satisfied, and sets the stimpak off to the side. “Med-X. Inhalin' it works faster.”

You nod and huff on his inhaler again. The Med-X is potent as all hell, and it feels like it’s shooting straight to your brain. You’re more willing, desperate for more as the effects set in. Cooper settles himself on the cushions beside you, watching carefully and taking away the inhaler before you overdose yourself. 

“I’m sorry for bein’ stupid.” You murmur. “I shoulda ran anywhere but there.”

Cooper leans in, ungloved hand cupping the side of your neck and tilting back. “Never apologize for survivin’, sugar.”

The drugs swirling about in your brain make it hard to form normal sentences. “I wouldn’t have without you… I hurt my arm and lost my cool.”

He tries to talk, but you  shush him.

“I couldn’t quit thinkin’ about those ghouls… about you.” 

Cooper sighs and wraps an arm around your shoulders. He pulls you in close and shushes the soft cries that creep up your throat, fueled by a drug-induced haze. 

“Y’know… There’s always somethin’ that’s gonna make us lose it.” Cooper drums his fingers on your forearms. “No matter how tough we might be.”

You feel his lips in your hair and lean into it. “Guess I gotta trust that, ‘cause you’re pretty tough.”

Unbeknownst to you, your words are already comically slurred. Cooper chuckles into the bird’s nest on your head. 

“Feelin’ that Med-X, honey?” 

You swear to god, it’s gotta be that drawl that’s honey, not the drugs.

“Jus-Just a little.” You slump further into his side, head dropping onto his chest. He uses the tip of his boot to drag a nearby footrest closer and prop his feet up. 

“Good. Time for a nap.” Cooper tilts his hat down over his eyes. 

You hum, unable to argue. A nap sounds rather splendid, especially with the amount of drugs circulating your body. You glance up just as the Ghouls huffs down the rest of the Med-X himself. 

“Coop!” You try to chastise him, but it comes out as more of a laugh. “That’s not safe. You don’t need that right now.”

The Ghoul grumbles something that sure sounds like ‘goody two-shoes’, but reigns in the hostility, 

“Sure I do.” His hand rubs up and down your arm before finding its way to your waist. “I’m an old fuckin’ man. Joint pain.”

“Joint pain, schmoint pain.” You mock, eyes falling shut and staying that way. “Fuckin’ old man.”

Cooper actually chuffs at your remark and ducks to press a kiss to your forehead. It’s unexpected and sweet to feel such affection from him, and combines with the euphoric feeling of opioids pulsing through your brain.

“Go to bed, darlin’. Before I knock you out myself.”

thanks for reading, much love ❤

Read More: Fallout Masterlist

[vanteguccir]

it's already midnight in brazil, which means it's already the triplets 21st birthday!

people say that sometimes, the people who feel closest to us are the ones we’ve never met in person. this perfectly describes my bond with them

these three guys aren't just the sun that brightens my day because even the sun sets. they're my stars, constant and unwavering, shining even in my darkest times. even when I can't see them, I know they’re always there

21 years ago, three boys came into this world, and little did they know, they would become the anchors in my life. they have transformed my world in ways I never thought possible, filling it with joy, laughter, and an unshakable sense of belonging. I love them more than words can express, and I am eternally grateful for their presence

Chris, Matt, and Nick are more than just YouTubers to me; they're my home. the sound of their voices brings me comfort no matter where I am. compliments about them feel personal, as if they're about me because they have become such an integral part of my life

I will never be able to express how grateful I am for them being the incredible individuals they are and for everything they've done, knowingly or unknowingly. I'm proud of each of them individually and as a trio. their hard work and dedication have not only brought joy to countless others but have also introduced me to friends within the fandom, provided me with countless laughs, and offered home on my worst days

their videos have been a source of comfort, their presence, a big and very full ball of hope. they've kept me company through the worst workdays and the best moments of life since the beginning of 2023. every time I think of them, I swell with pride; pride in how far they've come, pride in the joy they've spread so easily, and pride in the incredible community they've built

I'm grateful to them for brightening my days, for being there when I needed it most, and for bringing so much happiness into my life. here's to those amazing boys on their 21st birthday; may their light continue to shine brightly for years to come

[laurrelise]

someone talk with me about an AU where delores is a real girl who somehow survived the initial apocalypse and spends it growing old with five and keeping him sane

someone talk with me about delores being five’s age when he discovers her body in the rubble and thinks she’s dead before he notices the small rise and fall of her chest before he pulls her out and desperately tries to help her breathe normally again and watches the life fill her eyes with tears in his own that he’s finally no longer alone

someone talk with me about delores being an only child to parents who she wasn’t close with leading her to become dependent on herself until she meets five and learns to trust other people before finding out about his huge family and doing everything in her power to help him not only because she cares about him and wants him to be happy but also because she wants to experience the family she’s never had

someone talk with me about how delores never had powers but survived for the 40+ years in the apocalyptic wasteland of the future due to her seriously genius mind (and five’s help) and lives to help five figure out how to save his family

someone talk with me about young five and delores searching for anything they can find to survive before they stumble upon a half-broken mannequin with a surprisingly intact polka-dotted blouse that five says would suit her so she puts it on out of boredom from looking for materials before five looks at her with the most genuine, in-love eyes she’s ever seen and she decides to keep it just for him

someone talk with me about five always making sure delores has a comfortable place to sleep, to rest, to eat, etc

someone talk with me about five explaining his childhood so nonchalantly one day once he realizes that he can trust delores to her surprise, and she asks why he suddenly had the strength to tell her and he looks her in the eyes and says “believe it or not, you’re stuck with me, and i’m stuck with you, and i want you to know who i am when we’re kicking this apocalypse in the ass”

someone talk with me about teenage five teaching teenage delores how to defend herself with the training he was given during his childhood but reassuring her that he’ll always be there to protect her if something were to happen (to which she reminds him that she appreciates it, but knows she can defend herself with the spite and sheer willpower she has to survive)

someone talk with me about five and delores having a makeshift wedding and five’s vows being along the lines of “even if the rest of the world was alive, i don’t think i could ever hope to find someone that makes me as truly happy as you do, and i will be eternally grateful that of anyone i could get stuck in this goddamn apocalypse with, it was always you, and it will always be you”

someone talk with me about the handler showing up from the commission to recruit five as a temporal assassin and delores as a case worker because they’re both dangerously smart and incredible at surviving in harsh conditions (also, the handler approached them separately to see where their loyalties lied and they both firmly explained they wouldn’t go anywhere without the other)

someone talk with me about delores getting fed up with the handler repeatedly making moves on five despite him clearly being uncomfortable until it bubbles to a climax and she punches her square in the jaw, which results in an ER trip and zero regret (plus five falling even harder in love with the woman who endlessly sticks up for him)

someone talk with me about five and delores plotting an escape plan to get back to 2019 which all goes well, except five had once again messed up the math (or so he thought) and he and delores are placed back in their 13 year-old bodies, but she confesses that she doesn’t mind seeing the boy she fell in love with all those years ago once again

someone talk with me about delores learning to trust and love the hargreeves just as much as five, as they learn to love and trust her just as much

someone talk with me about five always keeping track of dates and specifically remembering the exact times of significant events for himself and delores, like the moment she looked at him for the first time, the moment he knew he was in love with her, and the moment they decided they were going to stop at nothing to keep each other alive and stop the world from ending

someone talk with me about five and delores, the 58 year-old couple that they are, snuggling up on elliot’s couch together because they can’t fall asleep without the other one there to remind them that they’re safe and out of harm’s way (mostly)

someone talk with me about how delores has never been the type to step down, and she continues to stand her ground and be brutally honest when shes upset or wants five to listen to her, and he admires her bluntness (and frankly, needs it) due to his impatience and expectations of honesty at all times

someone talk with me about delores knowing exactly when five needs his time alone and stepping away to help his siblings as much as she possibly can, usually by encouragement or (again) brutal honesty hidden behind a kind and genuine smile

someone talk with me about five reminding delores of his love for her whenever it’s too quiet or he thinks she’s gone too long without him showing it, in every way he can think of, like letting her know that he would’ve lost his mind in the apocalypse without her (which.. he kind of did?), finding little things that remind him of her and bringing them to her, and holding her hand whenever he sees frustration or discomfort bubbling behind her eyes

[inuyashaluver]

wingwomen - leah williamson

leah williamson x reader

description: in which you and your best friend are dragged to a double date to play wingwomen for your friend, fortunately you both get a free meal but you end up getting something you’ve both been dreaming of

warnings: swearing, so long but i had to capture the pining!!!

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

you and your best friend, leah are in love with each other. everyone knows it..except for the both of you. you’d think the lovesick expressions and longing glances would say everything but the two of you were absolutely clueless.

—

you met years ago at a match with your national teams, australia and england. you were introduced through mutual friends, caitlin and steph, who were the ones that managed to convince you to move to arsenal. you and leah were eternally grateful to the both of them.

“leah, this is (y/n), (y/n) this is leah” caitlin waved her finger back and forth between the two of you, you smile at each other shyly, leah went to exchange a handshake but you pulled her into a hug instead. she hesitated for a second but hugged you back, she’s never felt so safe in a stranger’s arms.

when you pulled away, you couldn’t help but smile brightly, a light shade of pink evident on both of your cheeks. she was taller than you and it made you slightly nervous, she was also gorgeous so that also made you nervous. if only you knew, leah was in an eternal battle with herself debating whether she could pull you into another hug, she also wanted your number but she was terrified.

“you were so amazing, leah” you gush, giving her a light squeeze on the arm before letting it go. “you as well, you’re brilliant” she smiles at you, caitlin exchanges a look between the two of you and smirks to herself. “you know, leah’s a year older than you, chicken” caitlin teases, you instantly glare at her, pinching her arm and making her yelp.

leah raises her eyebrows amusingly, “chicken?” you look down bashfully, sighing before muttering up some courage to look in her eye again, “when i first signed for australia, caitlin thought it would be a great idea to call me chicken because i was 17 and tiny” you rolled your eyes at the memory but leah smiles at you. she opens her mouth to say something but her name gets called by beth and she quietly curses her.

“sorry, i’ve gotta go, i hope to see you around?” leah smiles hopefully and you nod, pulling her into another hug. “i hope so, williamson” you say cheekily, making the girl laugh before she waves at you and caitlin.

you watch her in fascination before turning back to caitlin, to see she was already looking at you with a mischievous grin. “what?” you groan, giving the girl a shove, she just laughs and shrugs. “nothing” she laughs, you glare at her again and count to three and she sprints off.

—

when you walked in the arsenal training grounds for the first time, leah had to do a double take. there stood the girl she’d stalked on instagram almost everyday for 6 months and asked caitlin and steph about for 6 months was standing there. next to caitlin and steph. in an arsenal training uniform. smiling at her.

steph calls leah over and you instantly pull leah into a hug, she instantly returns it and gives you a light squeeze, lifting you in the air briefly and making you laugh gleefully. “you’re a gunner?” leah exclaims after she places you down, holding both your shoulders and giving you a light shake.

you, caitlin and steph laugh at her surprised face. “yes i am, williamson” you smile and leah returns it. “well, this is exciting! you need a tour, come with me” she hurriedly grabs your hand and gives you a light tug, pulling you along with her to give you a tour of the facility. in reality, you already had a tour, but you weren’t complaining about the one on one time with leah.

—

you’d now been the best of friends for over 3 years. you both assured people that it was strictly platonic, unaware that both of your hearts would ache every time you had to say it.

so here you were, at training, cuddling in your cubby (not uncommon at all btw) while a desperate caitlin is on her knees in front of you. “please!” caitlin pleads, looking at both of you with a desperate expression.

leah was sitting on the wall of your cubby, her legs spread while you slotted in between them. your back rested against her chest while she wrapped her arms around your waist and rested her cheek against yours. you were holding her hands and playing with her rings (hm, friends alright), looking at caitlin with a concerned face.

“i’m a little confused” you say sheepishly, leaning further into leah and letting out a little huff. “what exactly do you need us to do?” leah lets out a little laugh in your ear and a little shiver runs up your spine, you shake it off and look at caitlin again. she groans in frustration, throwing her head back and looking at you in disbelief.

“were you even listening to me?” caitlin exclaims, giving you a slap on your thigh and gaining a protective glare from leah that caitlin just rolled her eyes at. you nod but she’s not convinced. “it's because blondie over here is giggling and whispering in your ear” caitlin accuses, pointing her finger at the taller girl behind you. you giggle and lightly squeeze leah’s hand, you can feel her smile on your cheek and you can feel yourself growing warm.

“your point, foordy” leah smirks, giving you a light squeeze and pulling you impossibly closer to her body. she was so warm and inviting, both of you never wanted to move. “you both suck, anyway, i need you both to come on a date with me and katie because i’m too nervous to go alone.” caitlin explains like it’s obvious.

“i don’t understand why you’re nervous when you’ve known her for ages.” you question, caitlin raises her eyebrows at you, “you’re one to talk, chicken” your eyes widen and you tense against leah, leah was about to ask what she meant by the comment but you quickly change the subject.

“so, you want leah and i to double date you?” you conclude and caitlin smiles at you proudly, “so you’re not stupid!” caitlin jokes and you let out a little laugh, leah narrows her eyes at her. “watch it, foord” leah warns and caitlin just waves her off, you feel leah’s lips graze the side of your jaw and you tense. she moves down to whisper in your ear out of genuine concern, “you okay, love?” you slightly turn to make eye contact with leah and nod reassuringly, feeling the blood rush to your cheeks immediately.

leah nods and rests her chin on your shoulder as you turn back around. leah gives you a little squeeze on your waist and you have your answer. “alright, caity, we’ll come if you pay for the meal” you mock, leah laughs brightly, “that’s my girl!” leah exclaims brightly, taking one hand off your waist and holding it in front of you for a little high five. you smile at her term of endearment and slap her hand gently, caitlin just scoffs but agrees, “fine, thank you! dress nice” caitlin gets up of the floor and kisses you on the forehead while she claps leah’s shoulder.

you feel leah’s arms tighten around you but you think nothing of it. it was then time for training and leah moves her hands to your hips, giving them a squeeze to indicate for you to get up. you get up and hold your hand out which she happily accepts while you help her stand. she stretches with a yawn and slings and arm on your shoulder to walk you out towards the pitch.

“why did we agree to this date?” leah giggles, giving you a little kiss on your temple as you both walked. “we need to help out caity” you say sympathetically, wrapping your arm around leah’s waist and placing your hand in her jacket pocket.

“nothing wrong with a best friend date, lee” you cringe as the words escape your lips. leah slightly frowns at your words but nods with a pained smile. “yeah, exactly, a date with my best girl” she winks at you and walks you over to the rest of the team.

it was freezing outside, so when you were having your team talk, you naturally stood behind leah and placed your hands in her pockets.

she places her hands on top of yours to keep them warm, she was incredibly thankful you’re behind her. she was so incredibly red from your contact, she was completely swarmed with butterflies, unaware that you were panicking by your bold actions. you were being too obvious and she didn’t even like you like that. (idiots)

you pair up for training and it goes well, both of you were serious but would goof off from time to time. she hugs you every time you do something well and you both blush profusely, all your teammates exchange knowing looks and smirks as they watch you both interact. many of them wanted to speed things up but they knew you both needed to come to terms with your own stupidity with mutual pining on your own.

you and leah would giggle and whisper to each other frequently, but the two of you this time we’re just talking about katie and caitlin. “i knew they liked each other” you pull leah down to your mouth as you spoke in her ear, her bangs lightly tickle your forehead as you do. “it was so obvious” leah speaks in your ear as everyone has a quick break. you laugh and nod along with her, if only the two of you would realise this for yourselves.

after training was finished, you and leah waited for each other as she was driving you home. you both carpooled together as you lived 5 minutes away. you say bye to the girls and throw caitlin a wink, and she smiles nervously at you. you were all meeting at a nice restaurant in london at 6.

when leah pulls up to your flat, she does her regular routine, walking you to your door, giving you a tight hug and leaving your doorstep as soon as you close the door. she drives home with a thumping heart and a nervous grin, she was going on a date with her best friend that she happens to be in love with.

as soon as you closed the door, you door your usual routine of cupping your warm cheeks and smiling brightly at the thought of your best friend that you were in love with.

you get ready, full of nerves. you had to call caitlin numerous times just to ask what to wear, getting no help whatsoever. you just decide to wear something nice but comfortable, making a little extra effort for your pretty best friend.

you sit on the couch and wait for leah to ring your doorbell, you were so incredibly nervous, you couldn’t stop fidgeting. at 5:30, leah arrived.

you open the door to see her looking absolutely breathtaking while holding a bouquet of your favourite flowers in her hand with a sheepish grin. when leah sees you, her breath hitches, she shamelessly checks you out and looks down for a moment. “fuck me” she mutters under her breath before looking at you with a bright smile.

“you look absolutely gorgeous, babe” leah says in awe, handing you the bouquet. you smile back at her and pull her into a tight hug with a quick kiss to her cheek as you clutch the flowers. you breathe in her scent and you both stay there for way longer than a friendly embrace but whatever. “look at you, lee! you look hot” you hold her hand and drag her in your house, both yours and her cheeks burn crimson at the comment.

you lead her to the kitchen and look for a vase to out the flowers in. she watches your every move in awe, her heart tingling at the slight domesticity. once you find one you were satisfied with, you and leah engage in small talk as you arrange the floors, thanking her profusely for them as she waves you off. leah drives you both to the restaurant to meet up with a shy caitlin and katie.

“hello, lovebirds” leah teases as she places a hand on the small of your back, you laugh at their pink cheeks. “yeah yeah, whatever” caitlin groans, nodding her head towards the door to enter. she holds katie’s hand and you and leah fangirl behind them, whispering and giggling to each other in amusement. while you’re waiting to be seated, the manager comes up to you with an apologetic grin.

“we’re so sorry, we don’t have any tables for 4, only 2 tables of 2” he looks like he’s going to throw up, you step in immediately, “no problem at all, that’s completely fine” you smile reassuringly and he smiles appreciatively. leah nods with you and you both glance at caitlin who also looks like she’s going to throw up too. “you’ll be fine” you whisper, she looks at you nervously but nods, asking the manager to lead you to your seats.

to everyone’s amusement, the tables were on complete opposite sides of the room. you and leah get seated and you notice the girl in front of you looks flustered. “are you okay, lee?” you ask, grabbing her hand on the table and rubbing your thumb over the back of it. leah hesitates for a moment but nods, your frown. “do you want to talk about it?” you say softly, leah looks right into your eyes and swallows.

“how about we order first?” leah picks up her menu and browses the options. you nod, not wanting to push her and make her uncomfortable. “okay” you smile. you both order and begin to eat, you both swear it was one of the best things you’ve eaten, probably because caitlin was paying.

you and leah fall into conversation, offering each other bits of your meals, feeding each other and giggling. you can’t help but wonder how caitlin’s going but leah has about 99% of your attention right now. “i think this is the best date i’ve been on” you admit truthfully, leah nods instantly. “definitely the best i’ve been on” leah smiles at you and you melt.

you glance nervously at your plate before looking at her again. leah does the same thing, both of you look at each other so bashfully, it would startle anyone you knew. “you’re so pretty” leah utters, both of your eyes widened as you stare at each other. “you’re beautiful” you whisper as you lean forward towards her, she smiles and moves closer to you.

“i think i’m ready to talk” leah sighs, you perk up and hold you hand out again and she gratefully accepts it. “when we agreed to this date, i was a little upset to be honest” she murmured, holding onto your hand tightly as she felt it tense in her hold. “oh” you breathe out, “why?” you say so sadly, leah looks at you in shock.

“baby! no i said that wrong, fuck” she blurted, reaching for your other hand as she gave them both a gentle squeeze. your heart jolts at the term of endearment. “i just meant that i wanted to go on a date with you under different circumstances” she admits, eyes trailing over your features. “different circumstances?” you question and she nods softly.

“i’m going to admit something and you need to promise not to hate me” she begs, you look at her offendedly, “i would never hate you, lovey” you say softly, smiling at her to continue. leah felt herself melting into a puddle under your gaze. you sitting in front of her illuminated by the warm candle light on the table gave her this newfound confidence she didn’t know she had.

“okay” she breathes out, “i’ve been wanting to go on a date with you for a long time” you were trying to brace yourself for rejection. “as friends right?” you mutter sadly and leah’s eyes widen. “no! not at all actually” she says shyly,

“i wanted to go on a date with you, more than a friend, and i wanted to be the one to ask you” leah confessed, you look at her with wide eyes and your jaw slightly slack. she looked concerned by your reaction so you snap out of your trance. the girl you were in love with felt the same. someone needs to pinch you.

your face completely shifts, an elated grin overtaking your features. “are you serious?” you say, unable to stop grinning, causing leah to grin uncontrollably. “dead serious” she mocks your tone and you laugh. “i’ve wanted the same thing for a long time, williamson, took you long enough” you joke and leah laughs amusingly.

“oh what! this isn’t just on me, why didn’t your cute little face say anything?” she objected half heartedly. “i didn’t know you felt the same” you exclaim and leah looks at you in genuine shock.

“are you actually taking the piss?” she laughs, “don’t feel the same? i worship the ground you walk on” leah emphasised and you can’t help but smile, “well why didn’t you say anything?” you protested, “i didn’t know you felt the same”

you’re perfect for each other. “leah catherine williamson, you’re fucking joking!” you say in disbelief, sweeping her hands, “it’s pretty clear that i’m obsessed with you, i put my hands in your pockets!” you cry and leah laughs.

“i know” she says proudly, “i’ve been thinking about it all day and knew i needed to make a move” leah smirks at you and you giggle, moving slightly closer to her and your knees brush against each other under the table.

“how do you think the other two are going?” leah whispers, you let out a laugh and glance above her, they were in the same position as the two of you. you nod your head to them and leah looks over, smiling so brightly. “pretty good i think, baby” you joke and leah tenses, “baby?” she smirks.

you’re eyes widen, “oh, so you can say it and i can’t?” you say offendedly, going to drop her hands but she grips them tightly. “oh you can definitely say it, baby girl, i like it a lot” she claims, both of your cheeks are burning and it’s incredibly crystal clear to both of you now.

caitlin comes over to the two of you with a smirk and a thumbs up, she paid already and said her and katie were leaving. “don’t do anything we wouldn’t do” you wink at her and she just glances between the both of you confused.

“i think we would be doing the same thing” caitlin says simply and you and leah both freeze, caitlin laughs at both of you before yelling over her shoulder. “stay safe” such a little shit, you thought.

leah leads you out by the hand over to her car and opens the door for you, you kiss her cheek appreciatively and she smiles so brightly as she walks around to the drivers side. when she drives to your house and walks you to the door, she’s about to leave but you pull her close to you. “it’s a little late for you to drive back now, do you wanna stay?” you say shyly, leah nods quickly and wraps an arm around your waist.

you both change into comfortable clothes (she had numerous clothes her from your many sleepovers) before settling on your couch, cuddled up with a movie. it took about 15 minutes into the movie before you get caught staring at leah. she just grins knowingly, placing a hand on your cheek before pulling you closer to her.

“is this okay?” she says against your lips and you nod enthusiastically, she breathes out a laugh before leaning in to place a sweet kiss on your lips. it’s familiar, soft and tender all at the same time. you place a hand on the back of your neck to keep her close to you and a couple minutes later, you’re tugged in leah’s lap.

she looks up at you with blown out pupils, her breath fanning over your lips as you card your hands through her hair. “i love you” she breathes out and you can’t help the shit eating grin that makes its way on your face. “i love you too” you say without hesitation. you and leah stare at each other for a minute, taking in the situation.

her hands are resting on your hips and running her hands up and down them. you gently scratch her scalp while you lean down to place a kiss on her cheeks, her forehead, her nose and finally her lips.

she hums into you immediately, kissing you back passionately before she suddenly parts from you. you whine and she looks at you breathlessly with a smile present on her kiss bitten lips.

“will you be my girlfriend?” she says breathlessly, moving a hand up to cradle your cheek.

you nod instantly, “if you’ll have me” you say cheekily, she lets out a little laugh, “oh i’ll definitely have you, and i don’t plan on letting you go” she admits and you can’t help but hug her tightly. she holds you tightly, rubbing comforting circles on your back.

“you’re such a sap, lovey” you part with a kiss to her cheek. “only for you” she says cheekily, placing a quick kiss on your lips. “will you be my girlfriend?” you mock her accent and she rolls her eyes amusingly. “definitely” she scoffs, smiling and kissing you sweetly again.

you make sure to text caitlin a thank you as the blonde you love sleeps soundly on your chest. her hands are buried under your shirt and resting on your skin. you both slept easy that night and training was certainly interesting the next day.

“is that a hickey?” caitlin screams as she hugs you hello and the entire change room breaks out in screams and chatter. you let out a groan and glare at leah. she holds her hands up in surrender as you narrow your eyes at her. “sorry, baby” she mouths half-assed, clearly proud of herself.

you shake your head and leah walks up to you, hugging you and kissing your cheek affectionately. smiling brightly when your arms immediately wrap around her. “so the plan worked then?” beth laughed and looked at caitlin. caitlin’s eyes widen when you both snap your heads to her. “what plan?” you question, leah scowls at caitlin who is now hiding behind katie.

“well you two were taking forever!” caitlin defends, quickly bolting towards the pitch. when you and leah run towards her. “whoops” beth laughs, lacing up her boots as she heard the screams of terror coming from outside.

as it turns out, there was never a table for 4 - it was planned all along by caitlin. she payed the manager extra for the little gimmick. though, you and leah weren’t really complaining, you both got the girl and that’s all that mattered.

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

you know the drill - just pretend it’s you !! ily wally

liked by caitlinfoord and 44,232 others

leahwilliamsonn: got a free feed and the girl of my dreams

view all comments

yourname: sap

↳ leahwilliamsonn: for you only, my girl

yourname: my girlfriend is so beautiful

↳ leahwilliamsonn: my girlfriend is gorgeous

↳ yourname: i love you

↳ leahwilliamsonn: i love youuu

caitlinfoord: where’s my thank you?

↳ yourname: thank you for the free food!

↳ leahwilliamsonn: yeah thank you! the food was fucking delicious

↳ caitlinfoord: that’s not what i meant

[daycourtofficial]

Hello. If you dont mind i have a request for azriel where maybe reader has just given birth and has lately been feeling very insecure about her body and azriel comforts her...with lots of fluff

A New Warmth

Sorry about how long this took anon, but I hope the wait was worth it!

-

You watch the baby nestled in the crook of your arms, mirroring her deep breaths to keep yourself calm. She was so soft, so sweet, and whenever she reached for you, it made your heart melt. She was everything you and Azriel had hoped for - healthy, chubby, and sweet as can be. She even had the cutest little wings that twitched in her sleep.

The problem with having an Illyrian baby is you develop an Illyrian’s appetite while pregnant with them, along with the other stretching and tearing your body has gone through to accommodate her.

She was two weeks old at this point, and you knew you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself. Your body created this - a perfect mirror of you and your mate. But you couldn’t help the negative thoughts fluttering through your mind as your hand rested on your stomach, knowing the fresh stretch marks that lay underneath. You gained a good deal of weight during the pregnancy, your labor only removing about a dozen of those pounds.

As if sensing your spiraling thoughts, your mate walks in the door of your shared bedroom, his eyes alight with love and adoration at seeing his two girls.

“My loves,” he greets the both of you, setting the mugs of tea he had brought down, lifting the blanket to lat next to you. His presence under the blanket providing a new layer of warmth- not just physical, but the warmth of the three of you being together.

You lean your head against his shoulder as he wraps an arm behind you, slowly to not disturb the baby in your arms. “Will I ever get my body back?” You mumble into his shoulder. His fingers start caressing your shoulder, rubbing soothing circles into it.

“Mmm, no, I don’t think you will.” You want to snap your head up, tell him that’s no way to console someone who had just pushed out his baby out of a tiny opening in their body when he uses his hand to hold your head in place.

“We will never be the same. We cannot go back.” He looks down at the baby in your arms, “maybe one day you’ll have more autonomy again - you won’t have a baby latched to your breast every other hour.”

His hand snakes down to rest on top of the hand you’re using to cradle the baby. “But she’ll always be a part of you.” The baby starts stirring, moving her tiny hands, and he reaches out a finger, which she quickly wraps her delicate fingers around. You both watch the scarred flesh in the pristine grasp of your innocent babe, no idea of an outside world that could cause harm. All she knows is the sanctuary of your home.

You look at Azriel with tears in your eyes, feeling incredibly silly over being upset at stretch marks. But as if he can read your mind, he tells you, “you have constantly given me what I thought I’d never have. You loved me, you gave me a true home, you gave me a mate, and now?” He laughs, flexing his finger in her grasp. “You’ve expanded our family. You gorgeous thing, you.”

He kisses the top of your head, inhaling your scent. “Your love knows no bounds, and I am eternally grateful for you.”

You start crying, post partem hormones taking control of you. “It’s so shallow,” you laugh as a tear falls, “I just was so upset over how weird my body feels. The pregnancy glow is gone so now I just feel heavy and weird in my own skin.”

He uses the hand not gripped by your baby to grab your chin and tilt it towards him. “I couldn’t look at my hands for a long time, after they had done it.”

Azriel always has a way of leaving you speechless, telling you another facet of himself he never had before.

“I could barely look at them before I met you. But you called them beautiful, this part of me I hated so much.” He looks into your eyes, the bond between you two humming in joy and adoration. “It’s okay if you don’t like how you look right now, I will find you beautiful enough for the both of us.”

[akookminsupporter]

A Rather Personal Post

This will be quite a personal post, and I hope the few who follow this blog don't mind. This isn't about Jimin and Jungkook or BTS, yet at the same time, it is.

The past few months have not been the best, neither from a professional, family, nor personal standpoint. My mental health is on the brink, wanting to give up. Stress is overwhelming me. A toxic boss is worsening things, and the family situation I'm going through is the bitter icing on the cake I'm eating; but amidst all that, there's this blog.

I once said that BTS came into my life at the right moment, just when I needed them without knowing it. Today, I can say they have stayed in my life to provide an escape from my reality, a healthier and less dark one.

More than once, I've wanted to give up. I've realised that I don't have much to live for. I feel like I've failed. I fear that when I'm gone, people won't remember me for anything specific, just that I was there, occupying the space assigned to me. Some things and people in my life keep me from giving up, but sometimes it's hard. I'm fed up with myself and everything. I'm tired.

But Jimin and Jungkook's show, and Jimin's album in particular, have brought a bit of light to my mind, a distraction I desperately needed but couldn't find. These two things have managed to quiet the noise in my brain or made it more understandable, more bearable. The same goes for this blog. Words cannot express how grateful I am for this space. This has been an incredible distraction, for which I am thankful every day. That's why I post so much. That's why you see me so excited about the show and Jimin's album. This may seem silly to some people. Maybe others think I'm being dramatic, and perhaps they are right, but I'm also being honest.

So for that reason, I want to thank the few people who are still here. I want to thank BTS for making my life a little happier and those who have been here since the beginning of this blog and those who have joined along the way. You mean a lot to me. And I am eternally grateful to you.

[reggies-eyeliner]

OKAY AN EXTREMELY SELF-INDULGENT SENSELESS RAMBLE ABOUT JWCT REGARDING GRIEF AND EMOTIONS AND FOUND FAMILY AND COMPLEX CHARACTERS COMING UP AHEAD WOOP WOOP !!!

i cannot stress to you enough. how much i love the way they write processing trauma. like yeah trauma is all silly and angst and whatever but it's a real thing like genuinely and it's exhausting to see shows just dismiss it over and over again but THIS SHOW I SWEAR IT'S JUST. EVERYTHING IS DONE SO SO WELL AND I AM ETERNALLY GRATEFUL LIKE

and not to mention that the animation SERIOUSLY DOES IT JUSTICE like the expressions are SO GOOD OH MY GOSH LIKE IT'S I'M THEY'RE YEAH THE EXPRESSIONS. ARE INCREDIBLE. that looks darius got in his eyes when he KNEW the password to brooklyn's phone and kenji didn't??? so good SO GOOD and just the way their eyes all shine before they start crying is actually done so well that if you listen carefully you can feel my heart breaking

also i love how like emotional processing is also written so much. all of them aren't afraid to cry and i feel like that's just. yeah it's beautiful. they cry soft they cry loud whatever it is they're comfortable enough to do so and if they're not they at least know they won't be judged for it ARE YOU KIDDING ME I'M GOING TO BITE A TABLE?????

the characters have flaws. i love that so much. the characters are not perfect but they're still likable and it's executed so well. darius' grief is PALPABLE and kenji's anger, albeit sometimes annoying, is so understandable that you can't actually be angry or annoyed with him because the story writing makes you understand. that's incredible. yasmina struggles with anxiety and ptsd and she gets frustrated and that is !! okay !! sammy ignores her emotions and struggles with toxic positivity but we understand *why* she talks to yasmina that way (because she's worried and scared and concerned for her girlfriend, but she's also just as worried of truly addressing what she's been through) so it's so hard to get mad at her. ben is THANJ GOODNESS not mischaracterized as a cinnamon roll and is actually a complex character with complex emotions and i can't get enough of it. he's like a pain he's so annoying sometimes but it's endearing because he reminds you of that one classmate from elementary that makes you go ohhh yeah no it's him that's fine

okay paragraph was getting long but I do have more to say about kenji. the relationships in this show are executed SO WELL and I'm beyond relieved that Kenji and Daniel's relationship was written INCREDIBLY WELL

like. okay first off the asian rep YEAHGHH IT EAS GOOD !!! WOOP WOOP YRAHAHDH HONK HONK the part about kenji saying he should get his violin after daniel was like telling his sob story was SO FUNNY OH MH GOSH

and just. kenji and daniel kon. im. like his dad was never perfect. far from it and yet kenji just he loves him so much and wants to make him proud and it makes me sick because the writing helps you UNDERSTAND why

daniel keeps giving kenji ultimatums and kenji standing up to him for once just. yeah. that was done incredibly well. and then not even ten minutes after daniel started to change and gave his son something without expecting anything in return other than his presence daniel gets eaten alive in front of him.

okay now this show holy moly i was NOT expecting daniel to just. get ripped apart but um YEAH THAT HAPPENED and the grief was written so well I cannot stress this enough. I loathe in movies and shows when they skim past traumatic deaths and just act like the grief is just non existent and this show does an incredible job at showing that it is VERY MUCH STILL THERE and it makes people out there who are struggling feel a little less crazy and that's so beautiful

i've been a benrius enthusiast since day one and honestly at this point i just hope everything goes well for them moving on. brooklyn's death and Darius coping with her grief was done SO SO WELL and honestly okay as much as i love sibling-type dinostar i think rewatching scenes with the lens that he was in love with her just makes it hurt so much and it's just. yeah. it's written well.

I will say that I think the story could have gone on without Darius confessing his love to Brooklyn, and the scene where Kenji asked Darius about the voicemails could have been used solely as a chance to highlight grief. another way the scene could have gone was if kenji sifted through the voicemails and just heard Darius's voice shatter in a way he's never quite heard it or listened to darius blame himself and that could have been a moment for kenji to realize that grief isn't something people should deal with alone, that *he* shouldn't deal with grief alone

regardless i really do think the idea that Darius was in love with Brooklyn was done really well. I don't know a better way for kenji to have figured out the truth, and for that I am grateful :D!! I hope the hardcore shippers don't get too mad though 😭

also I absolutely loved the lady with the whistle. she's cool. her character design is terrifying and the way she treats the dinosaurs reminds me a of a queen that is very fond of her workers like 😭 she's cool but also i would never want her within a 100 mile radius of me

the found family in this show is actually. yeah. it makes me cry because it's just done so well because it doesn't idealize perfect relationships. there are awkward moments, there are sad moments, characters still feel broken and alone despite having people who've actively said that they'd go to the moon and back for them. it's realistic and it's written beautifully

I think Darius might actually be the character with The Writing ever. his grief and his nostalgia, his awkwardness and fascination with learning and his kindness are all things that exist together and I am so so grateful for that. he's allowed to laugh and make jokes while feeling constant, looming guilt. he is fascinated with learning while also struggling to feel like he deserves to be happy, he enjoys learning about dinosaurs while also being terrified of them on the worst days. he feels guilty and feels like a bad person. but he's loved and he's cared for. can you tell he's my favorite now because

enamored with yasmina and sammy as always. they are just the girlfriends ever and i love so much how openly they communicate with each other. sammy apologizes when she makes mistakes, yasmina doesn't hold it against her. they're always at each other's sides and their love isn't conditional. i love them SO MUCH

okay sorry im making this about darius again but this guy actually is The character ever. I don't think I've ever felt so seen in a character and i just yeah the writers are incredible because all of the characters are written to feel relatable, and if not that, to feel real. it was just a huge comfort to me to know that okay im not crazy for feeling this way because of a character, who was written and animated by dozens and dozens of creators was allowed to be written this way, i'm not messed up in the head, im just processing emotions and it's okay that I need help for that

THIS SOUNDS SO CRINGE I AM SO SORRY

but yeah i. i love this show.

[lunamoonbby]

Cult!141 x Fem!Reader

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT MDNI

⚠️Warnings⚠️: Dark Content, Manipulation, allusions to past abuse very brief not in depth, female reader, swearing, pregnancy, birth, poly relationships, smut, Cult AU, the use of lord in terms to worship, Price being referred to as Father

If you or a loved one is experiencing abuse, know that there is help, and please help anyone that you know to help them escape from that abuse.

⭐️Author's Note: The religion that the villagers follow is not defined, but it is NOT associated with Christianity, Judaism, Islam, or any other type of religion there is⭐️

CHAPTER 2: Meeting New People

"Well, well, well, who do you have there, Father Price?" The sound came from a man who had bright blue eyes and was sporting a mowhawk and a scottish accent. Price gesturing towards y/n, "This is y/n, and I expect every single one of you to welcome her with open arms, or else our lord will be upset." "Yes, Father Price." the crowd said in unison. "How can I help you? I'm Johnny, by the way. Sorry about my bad manners, and this is Kyle." Kyle was a beautiful man with chocolate glowy skin, his eyes a beautiful shade of brown. Before y/n could answer, Price intervened,"I would like to buy a meal for myself and for y/n and give her a warm drink too." Johnny looked at y/n, "what would you like to eat and drink?". "I'll have the stew and a herbal tea, please?" y/n stated looking at johnny. "Comming right up!" johnny exclaimed, walking to the kitchen with kyle following. You were looking around the tavern, and you noticed that the people were still staring at you, it made you uncomfortable, you were worried that one of them of snitch and give your location to your ex-boyfriend, oh how you hope not.

     Price who notices your jittery state, "My child, what seems to be the matter?" Startled, y/n looks at Price."It's nothing. I'm just being paranoid." Y/n stated, not wanting to worry, Father Price. "It's not nothing if you're shaking like a leaf. Are you feeling cold, my child?" Y/n was feeling cold but she wasn't jittery because of that she decided to tell Price the truth, "although I am feeling cold, it's actually because I'm scared, all of these people are looking at me and I'm afraid that one of them must of alerted my ex-boyfriend and that he'll drag me back to his house and there he would punish me for escaping, Father Price." Price frowns at that and he turns around and looks at the patrons in a way that it made them stop staring at y/n, he truns back around and faces y/n, he places his plam gently on her cheek. "My child it's completely normal to feel that way, but you're safe here no one knows about this place, no one is supposed to find it, but somehow you did and it was our great lord who sent you to me, and remember that offering you gave, he'll make sure that you remain safe here in this village. So please stay in this village don't leave." Price removes his hand from her face. Smiling y/n felt alot better maybe it was for the best that she gave her $100 as an offering, she did find a village that was very secluded maybe she was brought here for a reason.

     "Thank you, Father Price, for welcoming me to this village and paying for my meal, I'm eternally grateful." y/n stated greatfully. "You're welcome, my child." Price stated while he gently patted her head. She was greatful for everything Father Price has done for her, but one question remains how will I pay him back, maybe, I could pay him back by being generous to other people, but the local villagers seem skeptical about me, I mean I am an outsider to them, y/n deep in her thought didn't notice Kyle and Johnny walking out with Price's food and y/n food and drink. "Here you go, bonnie lass, one steaming plate of stew." Johnny places the bowl in front of her, "and here is your herbal tea." Kyle states, placing a tea cup on in front of her. Y/n smells the food and takes a bite of the stew and a sip of her tea "mmm this taste amazing thank you so much" y/n happily eating her stew and drinking her tea.

     John looks at Johnny and Kyle, "y/n remember that story I told you about, the one with my two friends who only had $50 combined to their names?" Y/n looks at Father Price, "yes I remember that story, Father Price." Price smiles at y/n, "great cause Johnny and Kyle are the two friends I talked about. Why don't you tell y/n the story, Kyle? Y/n I'll be right back. I have to get something I won't take long. Johnny, Kyle I trust you both to keep y/n safe" Johnny and Kyle looked at each other and then at John knowing full well that what John said about the $50 story is a lie. Kyle smiled, "Of course, Father Price, myself, and Johnny would keep her safe until you return." Kyle answered and then told the story of how both himself and johnny met Jonathan Price, "Johnny and I were the best of friends growing up, we had nothing to our name except for $50 when combined with the money I had and with what Johnny had. We were traveling for a while and we happened to stumbled across this village, and it was at the church on top of hill where we met Father Price, we prayed for good fortune and success and we were told to make an offering so we made our offering of $50 to our lord, we became devoted follwers and after a couple of months we oppend our very own tavern." Y/n looked amazed and hopeful after hearing the story. "We heard you made an offering. How much did you put?" Kyle asked. Y/n looked at Kyle, "Oh, I put $100 in the offering bowl."

Taglist is open comment if you would like to be added

@yourloverslost @tabbslouuformer @angelrissa @freefallingup13 @readingcatinacorner @sylvanasthebansheequeen @casualunknownrunaway @thatpersonnamedrook @rip-cod-brainrot

I hope you enjoyed it💖

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

i have left

hey everyone this will probably be the last thing i post on this blog albeit im keeping it up for resources.

im eternally grateful for how this community has helped me through prostitution and everything, i have amazing mutuals and i have learned so much 💜

but it has become toxic. many of yall cant handle disagreement and default to being as condescending and obnoxious as possible. one of us calling out a post is not enough, we have to dog pile everyone with a slightly shitty opinion. some of yall have severely lost the plot if you ever had it in the first place. not everything is that serious, especially when it comes to online drama.

im sick of it. so many engage in the same bullshit we accuse online trans activists of. this is an echo chamber. so many just mindlessly parrot slogans and arguments. what im very sick of is seeing single tweets or posts by a nobody, usually anonymous, being spread as receipts and shit. you know how annoying it is when everything a self proclaimed terf somewhere on social media says is taken by trans activists at face value and representative of the community when theyre not even radical feminist, just transphobic? yeah. yet a lot of yall do the same by saving and sharing „receipts“ where some random person who claims theyre trans (or not even) says some fucked up or out of pocket shit. you will always find people like that online, from any politicial „camp“ or ideological alignment!

a lot of yall seem to think that debate is about winning and not like, having an exchange of arguments and let the audience come to their own conclusion

and i just dont hate trans people. in fact i feel kinship to any female or homosexual trans person, anyone except heterosexual males. many of yall dont even realise how male centered you are when you more or less equal the trans community to heterosexual men who have a fetish for humiliation and forced feminisation or whatever. who exist and are an issue and i do wish the trans community at large would distance themselves from those men, but its not all there is to it. yes i agree that we need to protect vulnerable young people, girls and especially lesbians and gay boys, from being pushed into transitioning, i think the age of consent should be put at 21 or something, but we have to acknowledge and consider that there are people who have already transitioned and will transition in the future and i just dont understand how you cant have any empathy for them. no matter what you think about transition, many trans people ARE vulnerable and marginalised. plus consider how many detransitioned women are in this community yet yall talk about trans people as mutilated and shit its gross. in the end we can only try to establish structures that keep people from self harming, but an adult of sound mind has the right to do so anyways, including plastic surgery and trans surgeries. and i want to keep my arms open to them; but a lot of rhetoric around it spread on here will only alienate them further.

right now im saving all my essays in notes so its out of my mind. i have missed the community a lot so maybe i will return at some point but i have also been feeling better since i stopped being on radblr. i miss the rare valuable input and thoughts by other women but overall i have felt unaligned with how things have been handled on here. it has been mostly negative instead of constructive and pragmatic. ive had the impression some of yall enjoy the „being in the in-group“ community aspect more than actually being here for feminist exchange. lack of nuance, lack of empathy, lack of reason. it pains me but i have more and more come to understand why people just block us without engaging on general suspicion because ive also come to be annoyed with some of yall engaging with posts - and im on „your side“.

anyways im doing okay, im going to drug counselling regularly now and am trying to establish a stable life for those of you who inquired, and i hope anyone reading this is self reflected enough to know whether this applies to her or not. bye

[cowboybeepboop]

idk if you do anything revolving around legolas but if you do, could you do some soft/romantic legolas smut? i would be eternally grateful, im so down bad for him and im running out of fics to read 😭

Pairing: Legolas x fem! Elf Reader 

Genre: Smut 

Word count: 3.3k

a/n: i didn’t proofread what so ever and also i wrote this in barely any time so 😣 but i hope you enjoy 

Legolas smiled as he spotted you, his friend, he always felt a sense of peace with you, you’re the only person who was allowed to see his more relaxed side. The elf made his way over to you and crossed his arms.

“How are you today?” Legolas asked with a smile.

“I am quite well.” You turn to face him, your hair falling over your shoulder. “How are you, my prince?”

He chuckled quietly at the formal nickname you called him for a joke. “Please don’t call me that.”

Legolas smirked as he picked up a strand of your hair in his fingers, gently twirling it against his fingertips.

“Does it bother you?” You question, stepping closer to him ever so slightly.

He chuckled quietly again, trying to ignore the slight blush that spread across his face as you stepped closer. 

“You know it bothers me,” Legolas said in a fake annoyed tone. He slowly pulled the strand of your hair, bringing you even closer until you stood only a few inches apart from him. He gently pushed the strand behind your shoulder so it was no longer hiding your face.

“My Mellon, have you met some of the elves here?” You question, feeling his touch ghost over your cheek. “The guards are quite nice.”

Legolas chuckled slightly, continuing to brush his fingers against your cheek as he spoke. “Yes, I’ve met some of them”

His eyes darted to the guards you had mentioned, and he couldn’t help but think about the way they looked at you, the jealousy he felt grew. The prince knew that no matter how oblivious you are, you were incredibly beautiful.

You smile towards one of them, who has a watchful eye on you. “Shall we walk together?” You look at the prince in front of you, expression soft.

Legolas’s hand dropped from your cheek when he noticed the guard looking at you, looking at you as if you were the most beautiful star in Middle Earth.

The feeling of jealousy coursed through the prince, but he swallowed it down and put on a smile as he looked back at you. “Yes, of course, we can walk together.”

Legolas watched as you walked ahead of him. The way your hips swayed gently from side to side as you walked elegantly through the halls, he could not help but think how graceful you were as you were completely unaware of his gaze.

“You seem to enjoy the company of those guards.” He said in a low voice, trying not to sound jealous.

“They are intriguing, much different than what I am used to.” You murmur, “One even offered to braid my hair, do you think he did well?”

Legolas’s eyes darkened as you mentioned the guard offering to braid your hair. He almost growled at the thought of the guard’s hands on you, but he quickly composed himself.

“Let me see.” He said quietly, reaching out to your hair and pulling a lock of it gently. He looked at it for a moment before answering. “He did an adequate job.”

“Only adequate?” You question, spinning on your heel to face him. “Does it not suit me?”

Legolas looked at you as you spun around to face him. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of you, how you were almost directly in front of him, gazing up at him expectantly, waiting for him to answer.

The prince gently took hold of one of your braids, wrapping his fingers around it as he tugged on it gently. “It suits you, almost everything does.”

“You flatter me, my prince.” Your cheeks flush a light pink as he continues to play with your hair.

Legolas’s hand slowly moved through your hair, gently pulling away the braids and undoing the work of the guard. The prince’s fingers slowly tangled in your hair as he gently pushed the hair over your shoulder, revealing more of your neck to him.

“Much better,” Legolas said quietly, looking down at you. 

“Mellon. If I did not know better  I would think that you were jealous of the guard who touched my hair.” You step back, a small smile as you look up at him.

Legolas smirked slightly, looking down at you. His gaze darkened as you spoke the truth, the guard’s touch on your hair had angered him more than he would like to admit, but he decided to deny it.

“Me? Jealous of a guard?” The prince said in an amused tone. He took a small step closer to you, placing his hands on your hips.

“Envious perhaps?” You grin, watching his expression turn irritated. He stepped even closer to you until there was only a few inches of space between you.

“Envious? Why would I be envious of a simple guard that would never be worthy of your time?” The prince said, his arms now wrapped around your waist.

“Not worthy of my time?” You press a hand to his shoulder, “Why wouldn’t he be worthy of my time?”

Legolas’s grip around your waist tightened slightly as you continued to push his Buttons. 

“He’s a guard.” The prince said, speaking lowly as if it was obvious. “He doesn’t deserve to touch your hair or even be in the same room as you, let alone have your time.”

Your continued teasing was beginning to annoy the prince, and you could tell by the way his grip on your waist had tightened.

“You don’t understand how perfect you are do you?” He said in a low voice, his eyes darkened as he looked at you. “You have no idea the power you have over others, especially over males like that guard. Men will fall to their knees, giving you whatever you ask for.”

“And would you?” You cup his cheek, thumb brushing over his skin. “Would you give me anything I ask for?”

Legolas’s expression softened as you cupped his cheek, the feeling of your thumb against his skin made his heart skip a beat. He leaned into your touch, closing his eyes for a second before opening them and looking at you.

“You know I would.” He said quietly, “No matter what it was, I would give it to you without a second thought.”

“Even if I requested your heart?” The words leave your lips before you even have time to think about what you are saying.

Legolas froze as the words left your lips, staring intently at you. He hadn’t been expecting you to say that, and the silence that followed your words was deafening.

He searched your eyes, looking for any hint of a joke, but he found nothing. He swallowed the lump that formed in his throat as he gently placed a hand over yours on his cheek. 

“You already have it.” The prince whispered.

“Legolas..” you gasp, heart pounding as he holds you tight.

Legolas wrapped his other arm around you, holding you close against his chest. He ran his fingers through your hair gently, the familiar feeling of your body pressed against him, how he wanted this feeling to last forever.

“You have my heart.” He repeated, speaking again in a whisper, “You’ve had my heart for several decades.”

“As you have mine.” You press your forehead to his, your arms wrapping around his neck.

Legolas closed his eyes as you pressed your forehead to his, your touch sending a shiver down his spine. He was glad that the corridor was deserted, the only sound in the hallway was yours and his own breathing.

He brought one of his hands up, wrapping it in your hair softly, as the other continued to hold you against him. “For how long?” The prince asked quietly, his lips close to yours.

“For as long as I can recall.” You trace mindless patterns into his skin, pressing your lips to his jawline.

“You will be the death of me, you know that?” The prince said in a low voice, the feeling of your lips against his skin was almost too much.

He leaned in closer, his breath gently ghosted over your face, he wanted nothing more than to press his lips to yours. He wanted to pull you even closer until there was zero space between you.

You step back, cheeks flushed as you realize the compromised position you’re in. 

Legolas almost let out a whimper at the loss of contact as you stepped back, his hand falling from your waist and he looked at you.

He let out a chuckle at the sight of your flushed cheeks and the realization of your position. “We better stop now, or I might not be able to control myself.” The prince said in a low voice.

“Perhaps we shall retire to your bed quarters.” You reach for his hand, pulling him with you down the hall.

A smirk formed on Legolas’s lips when you spoke, and he let you pull him down the hall. He followed you wordlessly, allowing you to lead him to his bed quarters.

He was acutely aware of the way you were holding his hand as you pulled him through the halls, the touch of your skin against his was almost driving him insane.

When the two of you reached Legolas’s bed quarters, he gently used his other hand to open the door for you before following you in.

He shut the door behind them quietly, and almost instantly you were pushed back against the wall, the prince’s body pressing against yours.

“My love,” you brush your thumbs over his cheekbones. Legolas leaned into your touch, closing his eyes for a moment at the feeling of your fingers on his skin. He relished the feeling, the warmth of your body against his, the feeling of your hands against his face.

The elf opened his eyes again and looked down at you, his hands moved to your hips, gripping onto them as if you were an anchor keeping him grounded. “My love.” He repeated quietly.

You smile in response, pulling his face to yours, and pressing a kiss to his lips. Your fingers brush against the sensitive tips of his ears.

Legolas inhaled sharply as you pulled his face closer to yours, every touch of your body against his set fire to his skin.

A low gasp escaped his lips as you pressed a kiss to his lips, and another as your fingers lightly touched his ears. The prince’s hands squeezed slightly at your hips involuntarily, pulling your body even closer to his. He was struggling to control himself.

The prince tilted his head, deepening the kiss as he pressed you tighter against the wall. One of his legs pushed between your thighs, making it almost impossible for you to separate from him.

His tongue ran over your bottom lip, asking for entrance. He needed to taste you.

You moaned as his knee made contact with the warmth between your legs. Lips parting and allowing for his tongue to slip in. 

Legolas could feel the warmth in between your thighs as his knee pressed in, and he had to hold himself back from pressing his thigh even harder into it.

The sound of your moan only fueled him further. His tongue immediately slipped into your mouth, tasting you, mapping out every inch.

One of his hands moved, trailing up your body slowly, his fingers lightly caressing your skin as they went.

Legolas leaned back, panting slightly as he looked down at you. The sight of you, breathless and flushed from the kiss, took his breath away. And the prince was determined to see more of it.

His hand moved from your hip, gently grabbing your chin and tilting it up to look at him. “You have no idea what you do to me, do you?” Legolas asked, his voice low.

“You undo me, my darling.” You pull him close, peppering kisses onto his neck.

Legolas let out a shaky exhale as you pulled him close, your lips against his skin were sending his brain into overdrive. He let his head fall back, giving you more space to kiss his neck. 

“My dear..” he mumbled quietly, his eyes squeezing shut. “Please, if you carry on like that, I won’t be able to stop myself.”

“Then do not stop yourself..” you guide him to the bed, pushing him to sit on the edge.

The prince stumbled backward as you pushed him towards the bed, sitting on the edge as you guided him. He looked up at you, his eyes dark with desire.

Legolas quickly grabbed you by the hips, pulling you down so you were sat on his lap, straddling him. His hands gripped your hips, fingers pressing into your skin almost too hard. “Are you sure?” He asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I need you like the air I breathe.” You whisper, moving your hips down against his. “I have never been more sure of anything. Please, my prince, do not hold back.”

The prince's eyes burned with an intensity that seemed to set the room alight as he stared into yours, the passion in his gaze leaving no room for doubt. With a groan, he claimed your mouth again, kissing you with a fierce hunger that had been building for centuries. 

His hands roamed up your body, slipping under your dress to feel the warmth of your bare skin, his thumbs brushing over the soft curves of your breasts. You could feel his need for you, as he held you tightly, his body trembling slightly beneath yours. 

His touch was both tender and possessive as if he was afraid that if he didn't hold on tight enough, you would slip away from him again. As you kissed, Legolas's hands worked on the laces of your dress, eager to see more of the beauty hidden beneath. 

You moaned into his mouth as the fabric loosened, allowing him to explore further. The elf's hands moved with the grace of a master archer, yet the urgency in his touch was anything but refined. He was starved for you, and he meant to feast.

Legolas's self-control snapped like a bowstring drawn too taut, and he ravished you with a fervor that was both fierce and gentle, his movements driven by a hunger that had lain dormant for eons. 

His kisses grew deeper, more demanding as he pulled your dress away, revealing the softness of your skin. His hands explored every inch of you, as if he needed to relearn the landscape of your body, to claim it as his own once again. 

He groaned into your mouth as he felt your skin against his, the sensation sending bolts of pleasure through his body. His hands roamed up your back, pulling you closer still, until there was no space left between you, until it was as if you were one being, bound together by passion and love. 

You could feel his heart hammering in his chest, matching the erratic rhythm of your own. His touch was like fire, leaving a trail of desire wherever it went, and you craved more, arching into his caresses. 

The room around you seemed to melt away, leaving only the two of you, lost in the heat of the moment. The prince's hands tangled in your hair, angling your head back to expose the delicate line of your neck, which he kissed with an urgency that left you trembling. 

Each touch, each kiss, was a declaration of his love and need, and you responded in kind, your hands exploring the firm planes of his chest and back, feeling the tension coiled in his muscles. 

Together, you tumbled onto the bed, a tapestry of limbs and fabric, the only sound in the room the ragged breaths and murmurs of desire.

Legolas’s hands paused for a moment, feeling the weight of the moment, as he gazed into your eyes, filled with love and a gentle yearning. He laid you back onto the soft bed, his body hovering over yours, the warmth of his skin pressing against yours. 

He kissed down your neck, feeling your pulse race under his lips. His hands gently parted your legs as he positioned himself between them, his own desire evident in the way his body responded to yours. 

With trembling hands, he began to undo the last of your garments, exposing the beauty of your form to his eager eyes. He took a moment to drink in the sight of you, his love, laid bare before him. As he leaned over, he whispered sweet nothings into your ear, his breath tickling your skin, making you squirm with anticipation. 

His touch grew more urgent as he kissed along your collarbone, his hips nudging yours in a silent plea for you to open up to him fully.

With a gentle push, he entered you, the feeling of your warmth enveloping him in a way that made his eyes roll back in his head. He moaned softly, the feeling of finally being inside you almost too much to handle. 

His movements were slow at first, tender, as he didn’t want to cause you any pain, but the more you responded to him, the more he lost himself in the feeling of being one with you. Each thrust grew a little more urgent, a little more needy, as he sought to claim you fully. Your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer, urging him deeper. 

The room was filled with the sounds of your muffled gasps and his low, guttural moans. His eyes remained locked on yours, reading every emotion that passed across your face, making sure that he wasn’t hurting you, that this was everything you wanted. 

The prince moved with the grace of an elf, yet with a passion that was unmistakably his, his love for you shining through with every movement. You could feel every inch of him, filling you up, making you feel whole again after so much pain and loneliness. 

Your body began to tremble, the pleasure building until it was a crescendo that threatened to overwhelm you.

Legolas felt your muscles tighten around him, and he knew you were close. He kissed you deeply, swallowing your cries of pleasure as he quickened his pace, his hips moving in a steady rhythm that made the bed beneath you creak in protest. 

He whispered sweet Elvish words into your ear, promising you forever and beyond, as he pushed you closer to the edge of ecstasy. His thumb found your clit, circling it gently, sending waves of pleasure crashing through your body. 

The prince watched as your eyes fluttered shut, your face contorting in ecstasy. And with one final, desperate push, he sent you over the edge, feeling your body shudder in release against his. 

The feeling of you coming apart in his arms was like nothing he had ever felt before, and he let out a shout of victory and love as he followed you, his own release spilling into you, mingling with your own. 

The two of you lay there, panting and intertwined, the aftershocks of passion still pulsing through your bodies. He brushed a stray lock of hair from your face, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“Mellon,” he whispered, his voice hoarse with passion. “You are everything to me. I will spend eternity making sure you know just how much I love you.”

Your eyes fluttered open, and you looked into the depths of his, a soft smile gracing your lips. “And I you, my prince. I love you more than words can ever express.”

The room was silent except for the sound of your hearts beating in unison, the first of many moments of pure bliss that would come to define your eternity together.

 Legolas held you close, his hand stroking your hair, as you both basked in the warmth of your love, feeling more connected than ever before. The outside world no longer existed for either of you, only the two of you, entwined in each other’s arms, forever bound by passion and destiny.

[builtbybrokenbells]

Melodic Memories | Track 7: Romeo and Juliet - Dire Straits

In a tattered old box shoved deep down in the corner of an overfilled closet, a lifetimes worth of memories lie dormant at the bottom waiting to be rediscovered.

Masterlist

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 16k

Warnings: SMUT 18+, unprotected sex, oral (f!receiving), fingering (f!receiving), dom/sub, touch of breeding kink, possessiveness, briefest mention of a free use kink if you squint, multiple orgasm, simultaneous orgasm, lots of dirty talk, mentions of ownership kink, nipple play, name calling, degradation, praise, sadness, heartbreak, high school breakups, unrequited love, estranged parent/strained parental relationships, angst, anger, bickering, name calling, depression, anxiety, self doubt/self consciousness, swearing, drinking, smoking, flirting, fluff, mentions of hookups/casual sex, sorry if I miss any!

so this is my second time trying to post this (thanks tumblr for deleting it completely 🫶🏻) but I just want to say, thank you to everyone who has been patiently and kindly waiting for this update, and i hope this serves as an apology. my life has kinda blown up in my face as of late and I’ve really been struggling, but im trying very hard to get back to normal. as always, be kind, enjoy, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes! (Extremely lightly edited)

And a special shout-out to @gretavangroupie and @gretavanmoon for always keeping me on track, listening to my ramblings, and for the unwavering support and encouragement 🤍 melodic memories would not be what it is without you 😌

Also another special shoutout to @jakeyt. I’m eternally grateful for you and everything you do for me, and so so lucky to have you in my life 🤍

Jake’s POV

“You sure this will work?” Josh asked, looking across the cab of your dad’s car, one eyebrow raised as he awaited your answer. Swallowing back a permanent lump in your throat, the stark dryness of your tongue seemed to make your nervousness grow even stronger. The claminess of your palms and the steady thud of your heart against your chest made it seem all the more real, and as you digested his question you began to wonder that yourself.

“P-positive.” You felt the word get caught in your teeth, like even the syllables were trying their best to mock you. The whole world felt like that, making you second guess every single thought and action, like nothing was good enough. Before you stepped foot outside, before you climbed into the passenger seat with your heart in your hands and every ounce of love scrawled across your tired face, you were certain. Now, as the wheels whirred on the pavement below and the trees passed you by, you could not say that for fact. “It has to work.” You rephrased your words, feeling a bit more confident as those ones slipped past your lips.

“Okay.” Was all he said, his index finger drumming against the steering wheel. For some reason, that did not bode well with you, making the knots in your stomach tighten to the point of fraying.

“Okay?” At that, he let out a chuckle, his lips stuck in an irritating smile as he gave one singular nod of his head.

“If you’re sure, then so am I.” He reiterated his stance, peeking at you from the very corner of his eye.

“Okay, well—“ you huffed a breath, feeling a slight twang in your chest as you tried to agree with him. Suddenly, you couldn’t keep up the facade anymore, feeling the fears tumble out faster than you could stop them. “What if I’m not sure?” The pitch of your voice, high and airy, seemed to send another laugh shaking his shoulders.

“And why wouldn’t you be sure, Jake?” Josh and his aggravatingly accurate intuition, always knowing when something was wrong and knowing exactly how to pry it out of you.

“I hate you, you know.” You grumbled, your lips dipping down into a frown as you swiped your palms over your jeans. “How did you know?”

“Jesus, brother, I can feel the anxiety all the way over here. You’re not as mysterious as you think—least not to me, anyway.” He said, turning the radio down ever so slightly. “What’s got you second guessing yourself?”

“I just—fuck.” You sighed, your head falling back on the seat as you sucked a sharp breath into your lungs. “It has to work, Josh. It has to. I can’t—I won’t go back to Nashville if she… if we—“

“Alright,” he nodded, cutting off your nervous rambling so you need not suffer any more. He got it, and he didn’t need you to explain it now that he knew for sure that’s what it was about. “Well, it certainly won’t be good for you if you show up at her front door looking like that. Nervous, stuttering, sweating mess.”

“Hey,” you muttered, eyebrows furrowed at his blunt words. He flashed you a soft smile, letting you know it was only a joke.

“You always do this.”

“Do what?”

“This.” He motioned towards you, your entire aura affecting him directly, like he could feel your racing heart and hear your inner voice. “Freak yourself out, panic, like you don’t know her better than anyone in the whole world—aside from me.” He added quickly, making sure that he was involved in the equation. “You know she’ll love it Jake, ‘cause she loves you. Even after everything, that’s still true and you know that.”

“But is it enough?” That question posed a long bout of silence between the two of you. Josh lessened the pressure of his foot on the gas pedal, slowing the car without hitting the brakes. He knew he needed more time to formulate a good answer to your question, but even as the car crawled across the main road of the suburb, he wasn’t sure any response would truly suffice.

“You never know unless you try.” He offered, knowing it did not ease any fear but hesitant about giving you false hope. You gave a solemn nod, understanding that was all he could say. “I mean, Jake, come on. This is sunshine we’re talking about. Just tell her the stuff you need to get off your chest… don’t leave anything unsaid this time. She wants this too, but she’s scared. Help her see it in a different way. She got a job, and that was her biggest concern, wasn’t it?”

“She did.” You hummed, the dryness of your mouth worsening as you saw her house appear in the distance. “I mean, all of this had to happen for a reason, right? It has to mean something more than closure, or moving on, or whatever the fuck…” you rambled, sickened at the idea of the biggest chapter of your life coming to an end. Actually, you weren’t even sure you could survive it.

“I think,” he flicked on the turn signal, slowing so he could pull into her driveway. You tried to ignore the anxious buzz in your ears, your thoughts spiraling and causing you to do the same. “That what the two of you have is a once in a lifetime experience. For that reason alone, I believe that there’s more to this story.”

For once, his ambiguity made you feel better instead of worse, because you agreed with the sentiment. For how strongly both of you felt, it couldn’t just end. There had to be something more for the two of you, together.

Only once the car was parked did he speak again, this time a bit more direct with his words.

“Do you want me to wait here?”

“No.” You shook your head, taking a deep breath to calm yourself. “I’m gonna see this one through.” You continued, knowing in your heart that you did not need a fallback. Even if things did not work in your favor, you wouldn’t be sent away. Not now, not ever. She, no matter what the two of you were, would always accept you with open arms and love you accordingly. This house, her house, would always be home, whether you were a lover, a friend, or even a stranger who knew much more than he should. So long as she lived, you knew you would have a place beside her, even if it was not what you wanted it to be. “I’m gonna get her back, Josh.”

At that, a knowing grin crossed his lips.

That was what he was waiting for.

For you to breathe in the confidence he was pushing in your direction, to listen to the tellings of your heart rather than your head, to understand that you could not let her go again, that you could not accept self destruction and misery when the resolution was within reach.

“You’re gonna get her back, Jake.” He reiterated your point, making sure you knew he felt the same way. “Now go. Don’t wait any longer.” He ushered you out of the car, his toothy smile making you feel like the world was right again.

Looking at him now, about to accomplish your life’s purpose, you finally understood that the reason you put so much faith in Josh boiled down to one, very simple fact: the world had been burning, six whole years spent in the barren pits of hell without a breath of relief in sight, and not for one single second did he ever think of leaving your side. At your lowest of lows, feeling the heartbreak with you and suffering alongside you, he never felt an inkling to ignore it or to give up on you. He tackled every one of your tears and self-doubts with determination, making sure you knew that being alone wasn’t even an option and that all of your fears were misguided. He listened to the same rants and complaints a million times over and never found himself sick of it. Right now, after knowing all of the suffrage and the role he had within it, he was sending you straight into her arms even knowing what the outcome might be and how it would affect him.

He wanted you to be happy, and he would stop at nothing to see it.

The whole world had been burning until that fateful day in Italy, and he held your hand the entire time, opting to burn with you instead of watching you burn alone. Relief did not only touch you when you received that message, but him too.

If Josh, out of everyone in the entire world, believed that the two of you should be together, you owed it to him to try, to show him that his efforts have never gone unnoticed or unappreciated even if by times it seemed so.

“I love you.” You said, fingers clasped around the door handle as you prepared to step outside. “Thank you.”

“I love you.” He replied, his eyes scanning the car to make sure you had everything you needed, always taking care of you without even realizing he was doing it. “I’ll see you at home.” You gave one curt nod, reiterating the statement wordlessly. “You’ve got this, Jake. You’ve been waiting for this for years. We’ve been waiting for this.”

That seemed to be all you needed, and with a smile on your face, you finally stepped out into the warm summer air, a rush of confidence fuelling you as you gave him one last look over your shoulder. Swallowing your fears (and your pride, as it seemed), you straightened the hem of your shirt against your chest, making sure the collar was flipped the right way before advancing any further. Running one hand through your hair, you took the first step towards the front porch, fully expecting lead to weigh you down yet pleasantly surprised at the airiness of your limbs.

This was the right thing to do.

You were making the right decision.

Of course you were; there was no other choice. At the end of the line, she was the only thing that mattered.

Feeling both of your feet firmly stand on the first rickety wooden step, you thought the anxiety might return, but the closer you got to the door, the better you felt. The closer to her, the brighter it seemed.

Your malaise had nothing to do with fear and everything to do with missing her. Knowing that she was nearby, that you would be able to see the sweet smile and the sparkling eyes that turned your entire world upside down, was enough to make any bad feelings or negative thoughts flee you completely. She was home to you, and no matter how much time or hurt stood between you, that would never change.

With each creaking stair, you felt the nervous energy quickly turn to excitement, and as you raised your hand to knock on her front door, it felt like the sun began to shine down upon your face, warming your soul in the sweetest and most precious way.

But, the sun had always been shining, especially on the particularly warm summer day, even if it would soon set in the sky. Not a cloud in sight to cover it, and not even a flicker in its intensity.

As you knocked a second time, you could feel the light flood your veins, bright white and searing hot, begging to burst straight from your skin and bleed you dry.

This light, this warmth, never had a thing to do with the burnt up old star in the sky, and you believed that more than ever, especially when the door swung open and you were graced with the sight of her beautiful, breathtaking face.

Her POV

“Ozz, please.” You huffed out a sigh of frustration, grumbling and groaning as the cat puttered in front of your feet and tripped you for the second time since you stood. Although, you couldn’t be too upset at him, considering he was the only reason you knew there was someone at the front door. If not for his chirping and flattened ears, you would have disregarded the knock completely, bundled up on the couch as you watched reruns of your favorite television show. Feeling guilty for scolding him in such a tone, you gave a sad smile and reached down, scooping him straight into your arms as you carried him to the door.

Seemingly content with the new position, he melted into your chest as you kicked aside shoes lingering by the front door. You had gotten back from your faculty meeting a few hours prior, finding yourself excited and counting down the minutes until Monday morning, finally feeling right and ready to start your life. Tired from your first early morning in a long time (and from the long drive to and from), you started apartment hunting as soon as you got home, unwilling to make the hour trek both ways for any longer than necessary. Mel, who had scored an interview at an elementary school not far from the university, decided to take the afternoon and explore the town after a promising afternoon.

Knowing she wouldn’t be back until late (if at all, knowing her and her inkling to make friends or lovers anywhere), you ordered takeout to be delivered at your door and prepared for an evening to yourself. Your mother and your little sister had left shortly after you got home, giving you the rundown on their plans while you only half listened. When your father left, your mother had taken it upon herself to ensure that once a month, she would spend an entire evening with each of you on your lonesome, and at least one night with all three of you, doing something fun and carefree. It was her way of ensuring you two always knew how much she loved you, and that no matter how life was, she would always make time for you. Sometimes, it was just a movie, or ice cream, but other times, when money wasn’t as tight, it was a spa day or a day trip to the mall.

In the very beginning, you didn’t know it, but it was a way to distract her and the two of you from the emptiness of the home. It gave all of you something to look forward to, and it reminded you and your sister of all the love that continued to surround you.

Back then, you loved it. Now, you had a whole new appreciation for it knowing the truth behind it.

Once you went to university, obviously it became a little harder to maintain, so when you were home, she jumped at the chance to have that time with you again. It was different, but still just as important, and even more beautiful to see the tradition carry on.

So with the house all to yourself for the first time in a long time, you were soaking up the vacant space and lack of noise, enjoying as much of it as you could before the (welcome) chaos made a return.

Until the knock on the door, which left you where you were now: a cat clutched tightly to your chest, the evening sun shining through the blinds on the door before it sank in the sky, and a growing curiosity about who could be on the other side.

When you twisted the knob, the brightness from outside immediately took you by surprise. Once your eyes focused on the body before you, an ethereal light behind him framing him as even more angelic as usual, your heart sped and your stomach churned. It was not his presence that caused such a sudden reaction, even though he usually had such effects on you, but rather the items in his hand, held closely to his chest. Sunglasses sat low on his nose, his long brown hair honey-like as the sun illuminated it. His warm chestnut eyes spoke straight to your soul without him needing to say a word, and his half-smile sent a shiver straight down your spine.

“Hi, sunshine.” His voice, smooth like silk with a slight rasp of smoke, felt like a punch’s straight to the stomach.

The last time you had seen him, emotion hung heavy over your heads and your hearts splayed so carefully on your sleeve, you felt like you had left a million things unsaid, things you weren’t sure you would ever be able to air out. The title you had placed upon yourselves had left you wanting more, even if it did serve a little comfort when it changed from friends, and the risqué picture he sent over text after he was dropped off at the hotel was still seared into the front of your mind. Though a few texts had been sent and received between now and then, you still felt like the two of you had been caught in a stalemate, damned if you reached out and damned if you did not.

For the first time since the night on the roof, you finally let yourself feel how much you were missing him, how bleak and lonely life was without his company, whether it be in person or over the phone. For a brief second, you wanted to collapse into his arms, unable to control yourself or ignore the need to be held by him. Giving your head a slight shake, you understood that was not the best way to greet him, especially considering his hands were full, and so were yours.

Well, occupied, at least.

Ozz, who had been completely content with being held by you moments before, was now completely beside himself as he tried to push himself free from your grasp. He was chirping and meowing like crazy, desperate to be noticed by you even if your attention was caught by something else. Finally back to earth, you looked down at the furry companion, noticing his intent was not to be put down on the floor, but rather to greet Jake with all of the love you were withholding from him.

As you watched him lean towards the boy at the door, you felt a rush of emotion flood you, your eyes flickering between Jake and Ozz, finding the situation more telling than anything else.

“He never greets me like that.” You whispered to yourself, stepping forward as Jake did the same, always willing to meet you in the middle.

“He seems more excited to see me than you are.” Jake joked, raising his free hand to pet the cat, showing Ozz he was just as happy to see him.

“Not true.” You dismissed the idea. “I am excited to see you—just surprised.” Not at his presence, but the curious items he held in his hand and the overwhelming response of your cat to his company. And, although he was always welcome at your house, his showing up without any prior warning was very out of character, even for the version of Jake you loved so long ago.

“Can I come in?” One step inside already, he figured it would be best to ask permission to come any further despite the fact he knew he did not need it.

“Of course you can.” You nearly scoffed the reply, astounded by the fact he even felt the need to ask.

“How was your first day?” He asked, gently kicking the door shut behind him as you stepped backwards to allow him inside. Your eyes still fixated on his hands, you couldn’t seem to feign any sense of normalcy in response to his question. You slowly made your way back to the dining room, checking over your shoulder as he followed behind you. As you turned back to face him, you finally managed to respond.

“I-it… good.” Your eyes squeezed shut, embarrassed at your own lack of poise. “Okay, yeah—what are you doing here?” You finally understood that dismissing his suddenness and surprise was not an option, because you could not focus on anything aside from the—

“For you.” He finally extended his arm, offering the bouquet of expensive looking and beautifully arranged flowers. Taking in the sight of them, smelling the sweet fragrance of the petals, you understood that his visit was not without intent. Knowing that from the very beginning, you carefully sat Ozz on the floor and accepted the gift anyway, feeling little desire to turn him or his sweet gestures away. “I’m headed back home tomorrow morning.”

“Oh.” For two people who could not fully be together, the prospect of not having him around nearly brought you to your knees with grief. “So, just stopping in to say goodbye?” The crack in your voice gave you away, instantly telling him how painful the idea was.

A slight smile crossed his face as he gave his head a shake. Then, his eyes flickered to the floor for a moment, like he was trying to compose himself before giving a verbal response. You watched him carefully, like you were begging him for something you did not have the strength to say. Subconsciously, you wanted him to tell you all of the things you wanted to tell him, to open that door and make it easier for you to retract your ridiculous claims of friendship and separate ways.

If you had learned anything in the last few days, it was that you were crazy for thinking you could force yourself away from him a second time. Too scared to say it first, you hoped that by some stroke of luck, he was there to tell you exactly that.

“Not really, no.” He finally said, flipping up the second item in his hand so he could see it clearly. As you swallowed the lump in your throat, you tried not to look down at it, a sinking feeling in your stomach forcing you to believe you lived this exact scenario six years prior. Your only hope was that it would not end the same way. “I have a few things to say; do you have time to listen?”

“Y-yeah,” you cleared your throat, wishing to rid yourself of the stutter that suddenly took to your words. “For you, I always do.”

“Good.” He hummed, tapping his foot against the ground as his gaze flickered to your face. “Are you actually going to listen to me, sunshine?”

Although you hated admitting to your bad habits, you knew his question served a purpose, and he was completely justified in asking it.

“Yes.” You promised, assuring him of the fact.

“Okay.” He sighed a breath of relief, happy to hear it. “Nine years ago, or just about, I skipped my fourth period history class. It was raining outside, miserable and cold… I knew I couldn’t swing the soccer field, so I had to stay inside and not get caught. Instead, I went down to the gym, figured I could fuck around in the equipment closet for a little while, then figure something else out.”

“Jake,” you warned, your stomach lurching and your chest aching, remembering the day just as vividly and just as longingly as he did. You couldn’t hear him retell it, couldn’t bear hearing it from his point of view, especially when you spent so many years trying to forget it.

“You said you were going to listen, so listen.” He laughed, barely phased by your expected interruption. “When I went inside, I went straight to the back corner, where they kept all of the soccer balls and basketballs—but I heard something. I stopped, asked myself if I was fuckin’ crazy, but I knew that I wasn’t. Lo and behold, there was a girl sitting behind those big blue gymnastic mats. Do you know who it was, sunshine?” He was playing a sick and twisted game, one that you didn’t like very much but were too curious to refute. You wanted to hear what he had to say, even if it hurt like a bitch to do it.

“Me.” You whispered, crossing your arms over your torso and hugging yourself for a bit of comfort, in agony as you recalled his curious eyes and gentle approach.

“Crying, hiding, all because of Liam and his ridiculous fucking list.” He finished for you, his eyes glazed over as the melancholy sat itself upon both of your shoulders. He remembered that fact with utmost clarity, especially considering the fact he deemed Liam his mortal enemy after you told him why you were in the equipment room in the first place. “I was already in trouble with my parents for skipping—said if I did it again, I wouldn’t be able to play soccer anymore. For whatever reason, that day I couldn’t bring myself to step foot in that classroom, not even when I thought of the consequences. I didn’t care, but I didn’t know why. When I sat down beside you, the first ever time I got to be the shoulder you cried on, I got it. The minute I saw you, sunshine, the very second you opened your mouth and spoke to me, when you let me be that person for you, nothing else in the entire world mattered.”

“I was supposed to be there, Y/N. I was supposed to be with you, listening to you, loving you. My whole life, that is the only thing I have ever wanted to do, that I’ve ever been meant to do. I did it for nine whole years, even while you were gone and even when you didn’t want me to—even when I didn’t want to, I did.” He stepped towards you, intent clear in his eyes and showing no sign of backing down. “Six years ago, I stood in front of you in this house, and I gave you a CD with eight songs. Four songs that told you how much I loved you, and four songs that told you how horrible it felt to know that I wouldn’t be able to love you anymore.” He paused, chuckling to himself as he looked down at his hands, another damned plastic CD case held tightly in one of them.

For the briefest second, the flowers in your hand and the CD in his brought you to a different time, stuck in your bedroom with posters decorating the walls, the sweetness of lavender and vanilla hanging in the air, Dr. Phil reruns echoing down the hallways from the living room. You were eighteen again and so was he, silently begging each other to try a little harder, to have a little more faith, but too afraid to speak it aloud.

This time, you didn’t want to keep quiet. You remembered, almost too vividly, how painful it was to swallow your desires and leave him behind, how it never truly went away, how horrible it felt to chase your dreams without him by your side. You didn’t want that for him; you grew too much, worked too hard to end up in the same situation with just the roles reversed. You couldn’t let him go again, not without saying everything. You could leave no stone unturned, no matter how afraid you were of the outcome. You were so afraid of hurting him and yourself that you were doing it anyway, and if you had learned anything in your time loving Jake, it was that a single moment spent with him was worth any outcome, good or bad.

But, you promised him you would listen. The last few days, you had done all of the talking, made all of the decisions. It was his turn, and you had to allow him that.

“Back then, I thought it was so stupid… that you would think it was stupid, or corny, or whatever.” He swallowed hard, his eyes still focused on the plastic casing in his hand. “For a long time, that’s how I felt about it. Eight songs couldn’t even come close to how I feel about you, sunshine. Nothing could ever explain that, not even me. For six years, I thought there was just some stupid CD out in the world, or in the garbage somewhere, wondering why I couldn’t have been a little braver and said it aloud, rather than being a coward and biting my tongue. I hated that CD, because I always thought it wasn’t enough.”

“Jake, it was more than enough.” You stressed, gently placing the flowers down on the dining room table behind you.

“It wasn’t enough back then, but it was enough to bring you back now, sunshine.” He corrected you. “I wanted it to keep us together, but I’m okay with the fact it just took a while to work.” Before you could respond, you got distracted by the beauty of his face as he smiled softly, like he was proud of himself for phrasing it so perfectly. “I told you that night that it wasn’t over for us, that maybe it was just the time wasn’t right—Romeo and Juliet. That’s why I put that song on there.”

“I know that’s why, and I agreed with you.” You hummed, feeling that damn gravitational pull forcing you towards him again.

“Right, but I’m telling you that there’s no way in hell that the time was wrong twice.” He stepped towards you, wanting to take your face in his hands but holding himself back. “This is our second chance, our opportunity to do it right.”

“But it doesn’t—“

“It does.” He cut you off, knowing exactly where your mind was. “Those notifications, Y/N, all the rescheduled meetings and interviews… I know why you reacted like that, but it wasn’t what you thought it was.”

“Then what was it?” You hugged yourself a bit tighter, needing the security as he began to deconstruct even more notions in your mind.

“Josh.” He confessed, catching your eye so you could see the truthful intent.

Jake had always been a terrible liar, and in that moment, you couldn’t catch a single wisp of anything other than the truth.

“When you called, and we started talking again, he was even happier than we were, and it was his idea to put everything on pause so I could come here and make sure that I didn’t lose you again.” You felt a wave of sickness wash over you, guilt nipping at your skin and ravaging your heart and head. Jake didn’t put everything on pause and hinder himself and everyone else; everyone else was on board, pushing him back towards the girl he dreamt of every night for six years. You had jumped the gun, decided things for yourself and never gave him the chance to explain. “And if you think, even for a second, that I would want any girl that wasn’t you, you really have lost your mind, sunshine.”

“I didn’t…” you trailed off, knowing that you had indeed lost your mind. Believing that he would ever be unfaithful or disloyal to you was the most insane thing you had ever done, and punishing him for something you knew was not true was even worse. “I’m sorry, bug.”

“Amelie is our friend, yes, but more importantly,” he reached into his pocket, swiping the screen to unlock it and show you he was being honest. “Our photographer.” He flashed the screen in your direction, the text chain in question visible. The very message that put the nail in the coffin was followed by what looked like four pristine, stunning pictures of Jake on stage with his guitar in his hands, illuminated by the pyrotechnics with his hair sticking to his skin.

Although the topic at hand was more pressing, you could not deny the feeling rapidly growing in the pit of your stomach, worsening as you stared at the pictures of him, wondering if by chance you would be able to see the sight with your own eyes someday.

“I was bothering her all week to send me some of the shots she got… to show you.”

“Jake,” you took your face in your hands, squeezing your eyes shut as your heart ached for the boy who stood before you. How could you hurt him so badly, more than once? “I’m so, so sorry.”

“I’m not mad, or upset, or anything, sunshine. You deserve the truth, and that’s why I’m here.” As you pulled your hands away from your face, you saw him slip his phone back into his pocket. Then, his attention turned back to the plastic case in his hands as he drew in a long breath. “And the fucking truth is, I can’t go back to Nashville and leave things like this. I can’t be your friend, I can’t be in love but not together, and I won’t be a fucking stranger again. You found that box for a reason, and the reason is standing in front of you right now—the reason was the night at the hotel, and what should have been the last few days. The time isn’t wrong, sunshine. I’m here, telling you that I have never stopped loving you, not even for a minute. I waited so long for you to reach out, spent so many nights staring at the ceiling trying to remember what it felt like when you were laying next to me, and I don’t want to do that anymore, especially when I know that it feels just as good now as it did when we were eighteen.”

He didn’t give you the chance to interrupt, because he stepped forward and pulled your mind in an entirely different direction. The scent of his cologne, sandalwood and amber, so reminiscent of the only peace you had ever known, was impossible to ignore.

“I gave you eight songs when we were eighteen, and I let you walk away. That was the biggest mistake I have ever made, and I spent my whole life trying to figure out how to fix it.”

You looked upwards, intoxicated by his cologne and frozen in time as you locked eyes with him. Sometimes, when he was staring at you, it felt like the whole world stopped turning, like the only thing that existed was the love shared between you. Your heart, aching and yearning for the only thing you had ever loved, did not belong to you. It had always been in the palm of his hand, his name to be heard in every timely beat if you listened close enough, and it never felt right anywhere else. Even as you stood now, broken and bruised after so long of suffering, you knew it was the only place you ever wanted it to be.

“This time, I have eight songs that I’ll let you decide the meaning to. If you want to walk away again, I can’t stop you, but only if you really mean it sunshine. If there is any part of you that wants to try again, listen to it—to me, when I tell you how fucking much I love you, how badly I want this.” Your eyes fluttered closed, trying your best not to shed a tear as you clung to every word. How could you deny him? How could you push him out the door and risk the chance of losing him forever? You knew how miserable life was without him by your side, and sometimes you believed death would be preferable to the feeling of missing him. Constantly walking, functioning, breathing, but never enjoying it. The functions automatic, just for survival and never for anything more.

You were tired of surviving, because you knew that being with him was the only time it ever truly felt like you were living.

“No One Like You, The Scorpions.” He started, confidence returning to him when he did not hear any objections. “If I had to pick one song to describe exactly how it felt without you, that’s the one. In six years, I never met a single person that could even come close to you, sunshine. I waited every single day for this, just to be with you again, no matter what we were doing.” You didn’t think it was possible for your heart to break any more, but every time he spoke, it did just that.

“You’re In My Heart… Rod Stewart.” He hummed out the words, sending you a soft smile that made your stomach twist in on itself. “Because you’re in my heart, you’re in my soul… you’ll be my breath should I grow old…” He whispered, reciting the lyrics as the apples of his cheeks tinged red. He chuckled at himself, embarrassed at his own actions, but you couldn’t have fallen any further in love with him than you were in that moment.

“You’re my lover, you’re my best friend.” You finished for him, unable to hold back the smile that wanted to match his so badly. Reaching out, a gentle hand landed on his forearm to show him how much he meant to you and how true the words were.

“Carry On by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young.” He continued, listing off yet another song that would mean just as much to you in years to come, no matter the outcome. “For lots of reasons… listened to it a lot after you went to school. Guess the reason I put it on this one was because of that last line. ‘Lover, can you talk to me?’” He paused, reaching up to swipe away a single tear that escaped the corner of your eye. “We don’t have to just… carry on. We can figure it out together, as a team. Just like we always did back then.”

“I think I like the sound of that.” You admitted, the words slipping out faster than you could stop them. There was no more holding back; the floodgates had opened, and you too knew that there was no way you could send him back to Nashville and leave things like this.

“We’re Going Wrong.” He said, trying to get through the songs as fast as possible. “I listened to it the day you left for university, and I listened to it this week at the hotel. This is wrong, sunshine. All of it. The way we feel, being apart… it doesn’t have to be like this. Two people who love each other this much should be able to make it work.”

You didn’t give a verbal response, but you were sure he could see it in your eyes that you felt the same.

“I Can’t Tell You Why… last time, I threw a Bob Dylan song on the CD, and I know you hated it, even if you didn’t say it out loud. Maybe that was why it didn’t work.” At that, the two of you shared a true, genuine laugh that shook your shoulders and lessened the heartbreak for a moment. “To make up for it, I put an Eagles song on this one, ‘cause I know they’re your favorite. Lots to pick from, but I think that one gets the message across the best.”

“Me, too.” You hummed, unable to tear your eyes away from his, feeling an invisible force locking you into place. Every time you saw him, every single time his eyes connected with yours, the whole world felt right. It seemed as though when he was next to you, nothing could ever go wrong.

“Sweet City Woman.” He laughed to himself as he said it aloud, the blush on his cheeks darkening as he prepared to confess to the next one. “Sam went through this phase, way back when we first went on tour… swear to god, sunshine, he played this song every single day. Drank to it before shows, he danced around to it on the tour bus. Not sure what it was… maybe it was just catchy, upbeat, put him in a good mood and got stuck in his head… I used to get so mad at him, but it wasn’t because I hated the song, or anything like that. For the first little while, it was funny watching him sing along to it, but it always made me so fucking sad and I had no idea why. Went to bed early one night, they were all drinking and talking, and he put it on like usual… I was scrolling through old pictures, even though I knew I shouldn’t, and it made sense—that whole song, from the very first note, always made me miss you, because it reminded me of you. Bright and shiny, full of love and light…”

“Some things never change, Jacob.” You laughed, blinking back tears blurring your vision. The happy sadness was coating your words, stuck in your throat and warbling your tone.

“What do you mean?” He asked, fighting every urge to hold you until the sadness passed and only happiness remained.

“Hopeless romantic, just like always.” You whispered, feeling tempted by the softness of his lips, wondering if you could interrupt his grand show of affection and cut straight to the point. Remembering what it was like to kiss him and to touch him was tortuous enough without him within reach, but having him standing in front of you was worse than anything else. Still, you decided to let him finish, to say all he needed to get off his chest so the two of you could move forward.

“Only for you, Y/N. Always for you.” He hummed, the gentle tone matching yours. “Angel Eyes by The Jeff Healey Band… we were at a bar, Josh and I, not long after we released that first EP. Went on a big road trip to Toledo, just him and I, to get away and to distract me from being miserable—not sure why we picked Toledo, but whatever—anyway, we were at this dingy bar, losing money at a set of slot machines.” He cut himself off from rambling, bluntly getting to the main point of his story. At that, another laugh took hold, imagining the picture with the utmost clarity. “Someone threw this song on the old Jukebox, and I had never heard it before. Was an older couple, just starting to go gray and definitely hammered. Sunshine, they slow danced to that song like they were the only people in the room—no, in the world. I was drunk off draft, and mourning the three-hundred bucks I just threw in the machine, and I watched them the whole damn time.” He stopped himself, choked up and teary-eyed just at the memory. He shook his head, clearing his throat as he blinked away his own tears, unwilling to break down in front of you as he told the story.

“I just remember thinking to myself how much I wanted to do that with you, how badly I wanted that to be us—then and in twenty years, when your hair is turning gray and I’m going bald. It had been so long since I talked to you, since I saw you, and even then… I just knew, sunshine. I knew it was you, that it would always be you. Here in Michigan, at mom and dad’s house, in a taproom in fucking Toledo, at the Eiffel Tower in France, in that fucking hotel room in Italy—sunshine, it’s you. You’re the only thing I have ever wanted, and no matter where I am or what I’m doing, I want you there beside me. I knew that night that I couldn’t give up, because if I still loved you as much as I did when you left, it wasn’t worth letting go.”

“Jake,” you swallowed back a sob, your heart shattered in your chest and stabbing you with every breath, knowing that you felt all of the same things for just as long as he did. “I felt—I feel the same way. There was never another you, and I didn’t want to find one. I didn’t want anyone to take your place, or sleep in bed next to me. I didn’t want to learn anyone else’s favorite color, or how they drank their coffee. I wanted you.” He wanted to respond, but his eyes flickered to the CD, knowing he had one last thing to say before the conversation changed direction. You smiled, giving him a gentle nod as a silent permissive gesture. He let out a breath, happy to know you understood what he meant.

“Straight On, Heart.” He finished the tracklist, proud of himself for making it that far. “I’m here for a reason, sunshine, and you know exactly what it is.” He finished, standing still as he awaited your response. His breathing stopped, his eyes locked on you with no intent to move, wondering if after all this time it was finally enough. “Do you feel it too, or am I just fucking crazy?” Instead of responding, you reached your hand out, slow and steady as you extended it towards him. His gaze flickered towards your outstretched fingers, wondering what it meant and if he accepted, would it be for the reason he so badly wanted.

“Come on,” you emphasized your hand, raising an eyebrow at him. Cautiously, he reached out and laced his fingers with yours. “Come with me.” You whispered, taking a small step towards the hallway. Without a word, he followed behind, letting you lead him up the stairs and to your bedroom, the one in which you had created a lifetime's worth of cherished memories. “Sit.” You motioned towards the bed, reluctantly letting go of his hand as you ushered him away from you.

He did as you asked, still holding the CD close as he sat on the very edge of the bed, the same space you sat six years prior while he stood and poured his heart out to you. For a brief moment, you admired the sight of him in your bed again, feeling that it had been far long since you were able to experience something so beautiful. Then, forcing yourself to remember why you brought him upstairs in the first place, you took a step towards your desk. Your fingers clasped around the tattered shoebox, the fateful capsule of memories that brought you back to him in the first place. The shine of silver sharpie, half faded and covered with dust brought a smile to your face as you picked it up and brought it to him, taking a seat next to him on the mattress.

“The first Christmas after we broke up, I sat right here with Mom… I was so sad. I was sad every single day after I left, and sometimes it felt like I was drowning in it, like I would die if it didn’t get better.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, but you knew he was listening to every word. “I listened to that first mixtape twenty-four seven, Jake. First thing in the morning, while I got ready for class, while I showered, when I went to bed. I had every scratch, skip, static, all of it, memorized. I thought about you every minute of every day, and dreamt about you while I slept. When I came home for the holidays, I was a fucking mess.” Listening intently without saying a word, his eyes seemed to be burning holes straight through you, putting you on display like never before.

“She was desperate to help, so she did the exact same thing she did when dad left; she helped me pack up every single memory and reminder of you we could find.” You felt the scratch of tears in your throat as you recalled the visceral pain as you packed your life’s greatest love away in a box to never be seen again. “Including the CD.” You flipped the top open, feeling a sinking feeling in your stomach for no real reason at all. The memories washed over you like summer rain, sweeter and warmer than ever before now that he was here to live it with you. You reached inside, your fingertips grazing over flower petals and baby’s breath from corsages and bouquets he didn’t even think you remembered.

“She packed it away somewhere, kept it out of sight until I was ready for it again. Think she thought that when I stumbled across it, I’d be healed and moved on… she never anticipated me to still be as in love with you as I was the day we put all of this stuff away.” You continued, carefully laying out tokens of love on the patterned cotton sheet below, showing him just how cherished and loved he was by you. “I always knew, Jake. I always knew that you would be that person for the rest of my life, no matter where I was or how long it had been since I saw you. When I opened this box… the whole world stopped. At first, it hurt so bad, but now I know that it happened for a reason.”

“I tried, for four years, to forget about you, to forget about how badly I missed you, how deeply I loved you. I buried myself in work, distracted myself with anything I could think of, and sure after a while the memories faded to the back of my mind, but that hollow feeling never left.” You scattered old guitar picks alongside flower petals, your fingers tracing the divots in the plastic from their prolonged use. Years of musical history lived within the flimsy fibers, contained within the box to keep them safe forever. Not a single moment of Jake’s life, of his love, or of his emotion went unnoticed by you, and not a single second did you ever take it for granted. Within your heart, it was forever sacred. “I had myself convinced that you moved on, that you forgot all about me and found a girl who could love you better than I could, back then. Not for a single second did I ever consider the idea that you were hurting just as bad as I was, because if I’m being honest, I never thought there was a universe that existed where you would not be loved so completely and wholly like you deserved.”

“When I found the box… as we sit here now, I know that you were always loved like that, even if you didn’t feel it or see it or hear it, because I never stopped.” You pressed your lips together tightly, locking up the cry that was desperate to escape as your fingers grazed the stack of old Polaroids. “Every single thing you ever gave me, every picture we took, every love letter you signed with your name, it’s all here, Jake. I kept it for a reason, because six years ago the universe knew I would need some motivation, some courage, to reach out and tell you that no matter how hard I tried, I could never forget you.”

“I remember everything. Where we took these pictures, how it felt to be loved by you in that moment, the sound of Josh laughing at us, the fucking sticky summer heat on my skin. All of these guitar picks—you gave me this one,” you pointed at a green one, smiling softly to yourself. “This one fell out of your pocket into the bed,” you pointed at a worn black one. “And I found this one in the bathroom, the night we decided to take a step back and figure our shit out before I left.” You took in a deep breath, calming your buzzing nerves as you continued to tell him everything you had kept secret for so long. “This sticky note, you left on my desk in senior year. English class, which you fucking hated, after the teacher got pissed off at you for talking to me. This rose petal came from the first bouquet of flowers you ever gave me, and this movie stub was from eleventh grade.” You stopped yourself, realizing you were rambling for no real reason at all other than to finally, truly express how much he meant to you.

“Point is, I didn’t forget anything. I convinced myself I did, ‘til it was in front of my face and I couldn’t ignore it anymore. I found this for a reason, and the reason definitely isn’t ’two people in love who can’t fully be together’.” You finished, catching his hopeful eye and feeling the same feeling blossoming in your own chest. “I was stupid, and I was scared, both times. I wish I could take that back, to make it right and make it up to you… I know I can’t, but I want to try, Jake. All those things I felt at the hotel, although they’re true, aren’t a good enough reason to give this up. My whole life, especially the last six years, I’ve come to terms with the fact that loving you is the only thing that I know how to do, and I don’t want to know anything or anyone else. You’re that person for me too, bug. You always have been.”

“Sunshine,” he breathed, his hand going in search of the items you held so close to your heart. As his calloused fingertips grazed the edge of the Polaroid picture, the very one of you sitting in the field, nestled so comfortably in his arms, you knew the exact feeling that washed over him. Seeing it after so long, having all of that love rush back and fill your body, it was almost too much to bear. Thankfully, this time, you had each other to lean on. “You have no idea how good it is to hear you say that.”

“I know you won’t throw your life away to be with me. I suppose I’m just so afraid… I’m afraid because I love you so much, Jake. Even while I went off, chasing my own dreams and building a new life… yours were still so important to me. I’ve been your biggest fan since the day I met you, and I know how hard you’ve worked to get here, and I don’t ever want to get in the way of that. I couldn’t handle it if I did and you resented me for it. I love you too much, Jake. Always have. Used to think it was a bad thing, but I know that it is the best thing in the whole fucking world. Loving you makes it worth it, and I want to live your dream with you, and now you can live my dream with me.” He haphazardly tossed all of the items back in the box, still cautious so as not to damage any of the precious memories, a blinding smile growing on his face the longer he worked at the task.

“Last time, I told you ‘we have tonight’.” He said, finally placing the box on the floor beside the bed and looking back at you. You hummed a noise of agreement, nodding ever so slightly. “What if it’s not just tonight, sunshine? It can be the rest of our lives. It can feel like this forever—I just need you to say yes. We can figure all of the hard shit out later, take it as it comes.” He watched you, waiting as you processed what he was saying. After a moment of prolonged silence, he spoke again. “I love you, sunshine. More than anyone or anything, and I will love you no matter if you’re mine or not. If we’re going to love each other anyway, let’s do it the right way.” Silence ensued once more, but not because you were hesitant. This time, it was because you had a hard time believing that it could be real, that he was here and the stars had aligned, that the time was finally right.

No more obstacles, no more fear, no more waiting for the one thing you had always dreamed about. He was here, eight more songs in hand, ready to love you for the rest of his life and unwilling to settle for anything less. You had never wanting anyone or anything more than this, more than him, and after spending so long lamenting about something you thought you may never get, it was difficult to trust that it could be so easy.

“What do you say, sunshine?” Clearly, the silence was affecting him a bit more than you realized, leaving him shifting nervously in his seat and desperate for an answer.

“Yes, Jake.” You breathed, nodding your head as a second form of reassurance. “Of course I’m going to say yes. I know I’ve been afraid, and stupid, but you are the only thing I’ve ever wanted. Being with you is the only thing that makes sense.” You explained, moving a bit closer to him in hopes he would take the hint. “I want to figure it out. I want us to work.”

Without another word, without any hesitation, he sprung forward like you had just given him the greatest gift in the entire world. His hands landed on your hips, and not long after his lips were on your own, showing you exactly how he felt about your decision. The feeling of his touch sent you spiraling, ascending to a height that only he could bring you to. His hands, warm and gentle, felt like they were burning straight through the cotton material covering your skin, leaving behind a mark to claim you as his own despite the fact you had always been his. Your arms wrapped around his neck, inviting him in and hoping he would choose to stay there forever so you would never have to suffer another minute without him.

It seemed like when he was touching you, the whole world was still; nothing else mattered, and nothing that would come after could ever compare. The only terrible part of it was the fact you could never get enough, that you couldn’t fathom the bliss coming to an end or how you could survive the loss of it. Although the two of you had grown accustomed to loss at each other's hands, it never made the hurt any easier nor the pain any less dignified.

“Jake, I need you.” You whispered, breaking from his kiss just long enough to utter the words.

Just like always, you did not have to ask him twice. Still high off the emotion-filled confessional, he stood and kicked the door shut, barely lingering to lock it before he was back by your side. His need, although unspoken, exuded from his actions and the familiar look in his eye. He had been waiting, patient and loving for you to give him permission to do the one thing he was put on earth to do.

As he climbed back on the bed, between your legs, you could not refute how innate the feeling was—nothing had ever felt so right, the weight of his body atop of yours, always secure and never intimidating. The softness of his lips against your skin, the love woven into the miniscule action enchanting and endless, reminding you of his heart and how it beat just for you. The rough calluses on his fingertips, igniting every bit of skin he touched and now, the tickle of his hair as it fell over his shoulders—all of it was a small piece of an even bigger picture, one in which you painted in your mind every night you spent without him, the bed empty yet somehow still sunken in by the weight of his memory beside you.

Loving him was the easiest thing you had ever done. Falling was never the question, and climbing out wasn’t even a possibility. Even if you were equipped with the skills to evade it, you didn’t want to. Even when you had yourself fooled, believing you had left it behind in the little hometown that would always haunt you, it was bound to catch up to you eventually.

When his lips connected with yours again, the sweet taste of his skin against the very tip of your tongue, you wondered if he was the very thing that breathed life into you. Your heart, mending just at the thought of a future with him, your soul shining brighter and threatening to burst from under your skin as he continued to love you. Without him, survival remained, but living was always the question. How can you truly enjoy your life when you always feel like there’s a part of you missing?

The feeling blossoming in the pit of your stomach, your skin aflame with his touch, the breathlessness in your lungs and the steady thud of your heart underneath your breastbone let you know that you were whole again—feeling every single sensation intensified by a million, you were living. Not waiting for the mediocre to pass you by, not gazing out into nothing and wondering if you would find something—he was there, invigorating and energizing parts inside you that you never thought would feel again, like he never even left at all.

As his hands slipped under your shirt, the slight scratch of his rough skin sending a shiver down your spine, you wondered how you ever had the ability to deny him at all. Walking away from that hotel room, leaving him behind and swallowing your sorrow may have been an act that hurt him, but you did so with the intent to keep him safe. It was never a selfish act, nor an intent to harm. You truly believed that by keeping your distance, you would protect the very heart that gave so much to you, that it would save him even more hurt in the long run. Now, feeling the emotion bleeding him dry, the beat of his heart against your own body, you saw a whole different side of the story. Leaving never protected either of you, not in the very beginning and certainly not now. Being with each other, living life alongside each other, seemed to be the only thing that would leave you both truly satisfied.

“Fuck,” you hissed through your teeth, all of the nerves in your body aflame as his palm landed over your chest, the warmth of his skin and the firmness of his touch sending electricity straight through you. Using his arm to push the fabric away from your torso, it slid upwards and bunched together around your shoulders, leaving you exposed and at his disposal.

He leaned down, his lips trailing over your stomach as he made it a point to show you just how much he held for you in his heart. Even if the intent was filthy, the act itself sinful, he treated you with care and caution, making sure you knew he would never lay a finger on you if it were for the wrong reasons. Just the same as an angry word would never pass his lips, a cruel name or even a negative thought in his head. When it came to you, love was the only thing that concerned him, and now that he had the second chance he had been waiting so patiently for he was determined to show you all of the things he was feeling.

With every kiss he placed on your skin, you felt his actions grow more careless. His tongue traced the same spots his lips once graced, and as he progressed further up your body, faint red marks remained from the suction of his cheeks, desperate to remind you of his company for days to come. Eventually, his mouth landed on your breast, his tongue grazing your hardened nipple and forcing your thighs to try and squeeze together, desperate for friction. He felt the pressure on his hips, settled carefully between them as you tried to relieve yourself without a second thought. You could feel him smile against you, only worsening the ache between your legs.

You wanted him so bad you could barely contain yourself, unable to enjoy the moment without feeling the need for more. A whine in the back of your throat only furthered his cockiness, letting him know he barely had to try to make you feel good. Every breathy moan and muffled sigh affected him, and you could feel his cock against your core, worked up just by touching you and asking for relief just at the thought of fucking you.

You slowly reached your hand between your bodies, wanting to feel him just the same as he was with you. As you palmed him through his pants, you felt his hips jut forward ever so slightly, unable to control the reaction he had to your hands on him.

“Impatient much?” He chastised you, his tone light and a small smile on his lips as he looked up at you through his lashes.

“Not impatient,” you huffed, your cheeks flushed from his constant attention. “Just know what I want.” A low chuckle shook his shoulders, finding your rebuttal humorous.

“Mhm,” he hummed an agreement, looking up at you with a shine of mischief in his warm brown eyes. “And that just so happens to be… me?” His torment was getting on your nerves, making you regret speaking at all.

“Obviously, Jake. Did you really need to ask that?” You rolled your eyes, watching his gaze flicker to your shirtless chest for a moment, like he was admiring the sight and unable to look away.

“No,” he grinned. “Just like to hear you say it.” You did not have time to think too long about his words, because his mouth was back on you, and this time as he kissed, his lips traveled downwards towards your navel. As he did so, you couldn’t find it in you to be annoyed with him any longer, too caught up in the rush of excitement that flooded your body and distracted by the thought of what was to come.

As his fingers dipped below the waistband of your pants, you had to bite down on your lip to keep yourself from crying out. He barely even touched you, yet everything he was doing felt fantastic. Just him being near made you want to fall to your feet, to beg him for more, for anything he was willing to give. You lifted your hips from the mattress, allowing him to slide your pajama bottoms and underwear down in one motion. Once he removed them from your legs, he tossed them to the floor without a single care in the world.

When his hands returned to your legs, your muscles tensed and twitched at the feeling. Slowly, he brought his lips back to your skin, grazing over the insides of your thighs. Your hands traveled downward, fingers lacing into the locks of his hair as he continued his torment.

Eventually, his mouth was hovering over your heat, a hunger in his eyes that you could not quite comprehend as you stared down at him. You could feel the arousal pooling, your need unfathomable as you understood how close you were to having him again. Despite all the heartbreak, the pain when he was gone, the minute he was in reach you were absolved of all the ailments.

Two strong hands on your hips, holding you firmly as he pulled you down on the mattress, connecting his mouth to your cunt with ease. A gasp fell from your lips, your abdomen tensing at the intensity of the feeling. His tongue settled over your entrance, savoring the taste of you for a moment.

When he began to move, slowly but intently through your folds until he landed over your clit, your hips raised off the bed to meet the time of his actions. His name, already caught in the back of your throat and stuck in your teeth as you tried to hold it back, was forcing its way out whether you wanted it to or not. He was barely tracing circles around your clit before your legs were trembling, and barely started before you felt the familiar sensation in the pit of your stomach.

Everything he did was fantastic, and it always seemed like he never even realized it.

If you had learned any lesson on your journey, it was that Jake was undoubtedly one of a kind, in a league of his own without even a thought of another contender.

“Always taste so fucking sweet, angel. Can’t believe it’s all for me.” His tone was raspy as he pulled back for just long enough to praise you, the sound washing over you as warm as summer rain.

For the briefest of moments, you were sixteen again, falling in love with him all over again and even more intensely than before. Back then, you did not know much about love or how to express it, but you always tried your best. Looking back on it, you understood that despite your lack of knowledge, you loved him better than you could ever love another, and he did the same with you. Now, you had grown and you had learned, all of the lessons you did not realize you needed to endure and all of the hardships you faced and never realized would help you in the future allowed you to love him with a whole new meaning, appreciating him for all he was and all he would be.

You were near twenty five, a quarter of a century spent fighting for happiness and figuring out what was right, finally at the destination you always knew you’d find.

You wished you could say it was only a part of you that forever belonged to Jake, even in his absence, but it was not true. All of you had always belonged to him, and trying to refute the fact was the stupidest thing you had ever done.

“Fuck, Jake.” You whined, the pleasure pulsing under your skin and infiltrating your veins. He was so phenomenal that he took over every thought and emotion, burrowing into your skin and making a home in all of the places you never suspected to find him. His memory was seared into your heart, hollowing out your bones and existing within them. Everything he was doing now served only as a reminder that you would never be able to escape the love he so often threw your way.

“Tell me how good it feels, baby.” He encouraged, his tone thick with desire as he used his thumb in place of his tongue. “You know it’s my favorite sound in the whole fucking world.” Overtaken with need, you let out a strained cry, wanting to give him anything and everything he ever asked for. He hummed against you as he traced your clit with his tongue, gentle praise to let you know how happy he was to hear it. He added his fingers to you, slowly pumping his middle and index fingers and curling them upwards in search of the spot he knew all too well.

Your hands in his hair tightened, drawing him nearer even though it was virtually impossible to do so. Your hips began a slow, steady rhythm to match the time of his tongue and hand, maximizing the pleasure he was granting you and desperate for more. The warm wetness of his tongue was divine, pushing you closer to the edge with every passing second and sparing you no mercy.

The searing heat of your skin, the glisten of sweat on your forehead and the rapid rise and fall of your chest let him know he had you exactly where he wanted you, and now that he did, he would never let it slip away.

The knot in the pit of your stomach began tightening, fraying under the pressure and threatening to snap. Your heart was pounding, wildly drumming against your chest and in your throat. Your lungs were burning, unable to catch up on the air you so desperately needed. As you struggled to comprehend the intensity of the feeling, you feared for a fleeting moment in time that you might die at his hand. Then, as the thought passed you by, you understood that it would be the most blissful end you could ever imagine. To die by his touch and the last sight be his eyes, you knew there would be no better. Whatever came after, wherever you landed, the memory would allow you to flourish under any circumstances.

“Oh god, Jake.” Your words served as a warning, close to an orgasm and left without control. It never took him long to get you where he wanted you, and that day proved no different.

He hummed against you, the soft vibration only heightened the feeling burning in the pit of your stomach. As your fingers tugged at the strands of his hair, your hips raised from the bed to meet the time of his tongue, your body in search of something you were unsure you could handle. Without any warning, the knot in your belly snapped under the pressure, leaving you unraveling beneath him, your throat aching as you cried out his name. Your mind was foggy, your thighs trembling as he held you in place, working you through the orgasm like it was his favorite pastime. He did not slow until your muscles relaxed and you were melting into the mattress below, and even when he pulled away, you knew it was not to give you any kind of break. He slid from the bed and freed himself from his pants and boxers with little effort, and before you knew it he was between your legs on his knees before you even came too, his cock resting against your entrance and his eyes fixated on your fucked-out expression. He was too desperate to wait any longer, not even long enough to fully rid himself of his clothes, but you did not mind one bit.

“Do you know how much I love you, sunshine?” He asked, anchoring his hands around your hips as he pulled you towards him. “Do you know how much you mean to me? How much this means to me?” Sliding his hands to the front of your thighs, he pushed your legs towards your stomach with his chest. “You are everything to me, Y/N. You always have been, and you always will be.” As he spoke, he pushed his hips forward, the stretch of you from his size delicious and intoxicating. “You’re home to me, Angel.”

“I do, baby.” You groaned, your head falling back on the pillows as his sweet words washed over you. “I feel the same, Jake. I always have.” You cried, feeling him withdraw and slam back into you.

Looking up at him, the overhead light highlighting the small details that drive you crazy, you noticed your previous orgasm still glistening on his chin. His pupils had engulfed his irises, blackened with lust and shining with desire. The raise of his shoulders with every heaved breath, the radiance of the little skin you could see. He was stunning, ethereal and god-like as he towered over you, and you still could not believe how lucky you were to be on the receiving end of his love.

As he fucked you, he used one hand to undo the last few buttons on his shirt, shaking it from his shoulders and tossing it lazily on the floor. The careless action sent a rush of pleasure straight to your core, making you wonder why everything he did was so fantastic, no matter what it was.

“Always feel so fucking good, sunshine.” He hummed, using his hands on your thigh to pull you down on him with every thrust of his hips. The impact made your legs feel like liquid, barely able to hold them up if not for his help. The curve of your ass fit perfectly against his hips, making the two of you privy to another way that proved you were meant to be together. “Just like you were fucking made for me.” At that, your walls fluttered around him, pulling him in deeper in hopes to keep him there forever.

Keeping his arm hooked around your thigh, he reached between your legs and settled his thumb over your clot, tracing slow circles as he continued on his steady pace. You were a mess for him, your throat raw as you hissed obscenities through your teeth. You reached up, curling your fingers around his biceps to keep yourself steady, the pulse of the pleasure sending you off kilter. Having him so close, so entirely, was a feeling you could not get from anything else. You wanted Jake, all of him, all of the time. Being deprived of it did not seem like such a big deal in the time you spent away, but now back in his arms, you knew how detrimental the loss was.

“Feels so fucking good, baby.” You whimpered, feeling the familiar sensation begin to burn in your belly again. “You make me feel so good.”

“That’s right, sweetheart.” He hummed, applying a touch more pressure with his thumb. “Nobody else could make you feel like this, right?” He delivered a particularly sharp slam of his hips, causing your breath to catch in your throat.

“Only you, Jake. Nobody else.” You cried the agreement, wanting him to know that it was not only fact, but law. He was the only person in the entire world that could ever make you feel so good, so loved. He knew you better than anyone, and he loved you better than anything. He was in a league of his own, no contender even possible.

“And why is that, angel?” He asked, the force of his thrusts increasing, but not his speed. Every time he moved, you could feel him brush against the sensitive spot inside of you only he knew of. He was intent on driving you crazy, and he was making quick work at it. “Tell me why that is.” He ordered, his tone a bit more curt as he spoke for the second time.

“Because I’m yours,” you gasped, your hips raising to meet his when a particularly sharp pull of pleasure took hold. “I’m all yours Jake.”

“Exactly, baby.” He huffed, seemingly faltering at the sound of your words. “Because you’re all mine.” The possessiveness did nothing but further your pathetic need for him. All you had ever wanted to be was his, and knowing he wanted it just as bad was almost too much to bear.

His fingers seemed to be searing into your skin, the heat of his touch almost painful as he fucked into you, but you could not get enough of it. The marks that were destined to be left behind would remind you of him when he was on his flight back to Nashville, a gentle promise that he would be back again and the distance would not wear on his ability to love you. You felt greedy, wanting him to mark up your skin and leave his memory embedded in your soul, needed to hold on to every piece when he was far away. The thought used to scare you, worry you that in his absence, his fondness would falter. Now, you knew that would be impossible. There was no amount of distance, in this life or the next, that would lessen his love for you. He loved you the same as you loved him, and because of that, you knew it to be infinite.

“I want you to cum for me, sunshine.” He pulled you down on him again, his thumb still tracing circles as his hips moved in time. You could not verbally respond, instead feeling a guttural moan tear straight through your chest. He did not need to ask more than once, and in truth, he never needed to ask at all. You were teetering on the edge, close from the very moment he pushed inside of you, wanting nothing more than to give him anything and everything he wanted.

Your eyes squeezed shut, your muscles tensing as you felt the fire blazing within you become too much to withstand. With one last thrust of his hips, for the second time that night he had turned you into a mess below him. As the sweet sounds fell from your lips, he reveled in the feeling, unable to express the pride he felt knowing he had such an effect on you.

“There you go, angel.” He praised your hard work, finding it difficult to hold himself back as his name was spoken so beautifully between the slur of curses. You were worse than any addiction he had ever experienced, your hold on him so strong that he would go to the ends of the earth for you. “God, you take it so fucking well.” He huffed, a groan falling from his lips as he lost his own composure.

When you came down from the high, you had no time to recover, his pace never slowing and his thumb never letting up. The sting of overstimulation began to terrorize your nerves, driving you near insanity as you squirmed under his touch. You didn’t want him to stop, willing to take every uncomfortable second if it meant he would stay right there and never leave again.

“Doing so good, sweetheart. Just a little longer.” He encouraged, noticing your expression shift. “Always such a good girl for me.” You did not respond, instead feeling tears sting your eyes as the irritating feeling took over your entire body.

“Oh, fuck, Jake!” You exploded, your throat raw as you sang his name. It was like music to his ears, like it was a hymn and he was the god you prayed to. As long as he had a say, he never wanted that to change.

“That’s it, angel.” He growled, his head falling back and exposing the columns of his neck. You stared up at him, wondering how you could feel something so sinful and immoral at the same time as you felt such innocent and beautiful love for the boy. Jake made you feel a million things all at once, which was part of the reason he was so fantastic. He made you feel things you weren’t even sure you could, things you did not even know existed.

“Ah, fuck.” He hissed. Then, a growl came straight from his chest, framing him closer to a wild animal than the love of your night. He withdrew his hips, then in one swift motion, got out from between your legs and slipped his arm under your waist. Easily, he flipped you onto your stomach, the suddenness taking you by surprise and quickly making you forget about the nagging overstimulation.

Within seconds, he was back on top of you, straddling your thighs as he lined himself back up with you. When he fucked into you, the tightness of your body and the size of him sent you into bliss, only furthered when his hand raised to your head, grabbing a fistful of your hair as he gently pulled your head backwards. As his hips found a new pace, he leaned his upper half down towards you, his lips settling just over your ear as he placed a kiss to it. A shiver ran down your spine, but you couldn’t find the words to tell him how good it felt. Instead, when he pulled your head to the side and connected your mouths, you let him drink in every pathetic whine and cry, needing him to feel it instead of hear it.

Only when he was desperate for air did he pull away, his skin burning and his eyes crazed as he looked over your expression. Your flushed cheeks and shining eyes had always been his favorite sight in the whole world, and after watching you come undone by his doing twice, he was barely hanging on to his own sanity.

“Can you give me one more, angel?” He whispered, his cock brushing against your g-spot with every thrust of his hips. Your skin was electric, your nerves on fire and your legs trembling.

“D-don’t know, Jake.” You stuttered the response, wanting to do whatever he asked of you but feeling the tiredness set in. The rollercoaster of emotions and the surplus of pleasure had left your mind greatly depleted, your energy non-existent, and your eyelids heavy.

“You can do it, baby. Know you can, for me.” He continued, placing a gentle ghost of a kiss to your cheek. You nearly melted at the touch, and now that he had phrased it in such a way, you believed anything would be possible so long as the reward was his happiness. He was right—it wouldn’t take much at all to send you over the edge again, and if he continued to whisper the sweet words in your ear, you would be long gone before he even realized it.

You tried not to think about how good he felt inside of you, the stretch against him as he fucked you, how perfect his body fit against yours and how right it felt to be with him. It seemed like every time you let your mind linger on it, the pull of pleasure was too strong to resist, and you feared you might not be able to survive through another orgasm. Still, you felt it coming, your skin tingling as he continued to push you closer to it, little remorse in his heart.

“J-Jake,” you whined, your fingers gripping at the sheets as your burning cheek pressed against the pillow.

“That’s it, baby.” His tone was breathy, far away as he listened to the sound of yours. You knew him so well, even after so much time, and you could tell he wasn’t far behind you.

A particularly drawn out moan that sounded from behind you sent your body into overdrive, all of your nerves ignited with the same fire as before. Without warning, you cried out his name, your hands gripping the sheets to hold yourself steady as you felt the euphoric sensation begin to take over. This time, he couldn’t help but join you, the urge tempting him too greatly to dismiss. You felt his fingers on your skin, holding on to you just as tightly as you held the sheets, like the only grounding thing in the world was you.

Then, ever so gently, your name crossed his lips, softly and sweetly like he did not even mean to speak it aloud. The thought of you bringing him to such a state only furthered the ravenous feeling. You felt your walls clench around him, drawing him in further as he spilled his release into you. The climax was more intense than anything you had ever felt before, lasting long enough for you to beg for mercy, but you knew every second of it was meant to be cherished. Soon enough, he would be on a flight back to Nashville and you would be wishing for his company again, willing to give up everything just for a moment.

When you both came down from the high, Jake continued to rest inside of you as he gently laid atop of you, careful not to put too much weight on you but unable to resist the urge to be close with you. The warmth of his body sent you straight into bliss, your tired eyes and mind finally resting now that you were in his arms. Life felt good—it felt right. Being without him, no matter how hard you tried to convince yourself that it was for the best, always felt wrong. You were eternally grateful for his persistence and his never changing love for you. You were blessed beyond what many ever experienced from receiving his love alone.

The soft thud of his heart was soothing, his fingers mindlessly playing with the ends of your hair as he enjoyed the intimacy of the moment.

“There’s nothing else in the entire world that I want more than this, sunshine.” He whispered, his voice soft and tired. For a single moment, you felt selfish enough to want him to close his eyes and stay there with you forever, nothing to worry about other than sleep and the surplus of love in your hearts.

“Me either, Jake.” You confessed, feeling him slowly withdraw from you. He rolled onto his side, draping an arm over your waist as he pulled you into him. Turning towards him with a small smile decorating your lips, you hoped he knew how true it was.

“So,” he breathed, brushing your hair from your face so he could appreciate your beauty to the fullest extent “Is that it? Are we going to make this work?” You couldn’t help but laugh, a small giggle filling the air between you.

“Yeah, I’d really like that.” You nodded, your heart warm and your mind at ease. “I’m sorry I was so stupid. Just didn’t want to hurt you again.”

“You don’t have to be sorry.” He assured you, laying forward and placing a delicate kiss to your forehead. “If that’s the case—“ a mischievous smile sent your stomach fluttering with nervousness, but it was a feeling you had grown quite used to in his company. “Would you be my girlfriend, sunshine? Again? I promise we’ll do it right this time.”

“Think that goes hand in hand with making it work, don’t you think?” You teased, raising your hand to his face. You let your thumb trail over his cheek, trying to re-familiarize yourself with all of his intricacies.

“Never hurts to ask.” He let out a small chuckle, love shining in his eyes more than ever before, if it were even possible. “Is that a yes?” He raised an eyebrow, clearly wanting to hear the words come straight from your mouth.

“Yes, Jake. I want to be your girlfriend… again.” You grinned, finding the words a bit silly considering you never once felt like you weren’t his in the first place.

Leaning forward and pulling you into a kiss, the enthusiasm in his action told you everything you needed to know about how happy he was to hear it.

As the two of you laid there, infinitely intertwined with each other in the very same bedroom it ended once before, you felt the world was beginning again—the birds were chirping, the flowers blooming, and the sun shining. The misery once housed within the walls had disappeared entirely, replaced instantly with all of the love you had held and locked up inside your heart for so long. The most precious part of it all was not the warmth within you, but the fact you knew he felt the same way, bright and shiny and new again, ready to start over and make up for the mistakes your younger selves made so long ago.

“Just because I’m leaving sunshine, doesn’t mean I want to let this go. I think you know by now, I’ll do anything to make it work. It’s gonna be hard, for a little while at least, but I promise we can figure it out.” He spoke slowly, carefully, like he was afraid to make a wrong move and ruin the progress the two of you had made. You wished you could assure him that it was alright, that you had grown up and calmed down, and that nothing could ever force you away from him again. You knew that words would not satisfy that fear, so instead you vowed to prove it to him, no matter how long it took.

“Me, too.” You hummed, your eyes heavy and ready for rest, feeling at home beside him. “Maybe back then the time was wrong, but you’re right. I found that box for a reason, and we’re here for a reason. The right decision isn’t supposed to hurt, and walking away from you hurts more than anything. I’m not letting you go again, Jake. I love you just as much as I did when I was eighteen, and I know it’s not going anywhere. No matter if you’re halfway across the world or right here beside me, this is worth fighting for.”

He did not respond, but his head on the pillow inched closer to yours, a silent show of agreement for all you had said. You had always been good at talking too much, and he was an expert in not talking enough, but it was a perfect balance for the two of you, only showcasing the million other ways the two of you equaled each other out. As silence fell between you again, comfortable and secure, you felt the heaviness of your eyes seep into your bones, weighing you down and melting you into the mattress below you. The softness of his breathing and the looseness of his arm draped over you let you know that he was succumbing to the same things, uncaring about anything in the world and just happy to be there with you.

And for the first time in a really long time, you didn’t care about a single thing, either. For the first time in a really long time, the tacky paint and the abhorrent pattern on your bedsheets, the creaky floorboards and the scent of lavender and vanilla, the chestnut dresser and the haunt of an overly familiar tune was not off putting to you—it was home again, and the credit could not go to the bones of the house, hidden behind plaster and drywall, nor the memories burrowed so deep within them or the familiarity of the place—it was because of him, the heat of his body and the steady rise and fall of his chest, loving you even amidst sleep, because it was the only thing he ever knew how to do.

If you had learned anything at all, it was that Jake always was and would forever be home to you, and that living would only ever feel right so long as he was there beside you.

TAGLIST: @anythingforjtk @highway-tuna @klarxtr @hollyco @thetroublegetssoloud71 @ageofbajabule @dannys-dream @raceb14 @watchingover-hypegirl @starshine-gvf @do-it-jakey-baby @gretavansara @jakesbeloved @woyayaofdreams @jakeyt @kiszkas-canvas @gracev0609 @josh-iamyour-mama @musicspeaks @gretavangroupie @gretavanmoon @gvfmarge @takenbythemadness @fleetingjake @outlinedingold

If I’m missing anyone, please please let me know! After so many months and so much mess, my docs are a nightmare and I seem to have misplaced my taglist for melodic memories. i love you all, and thanks for sticking around 🤍

[sirenjose]

Characters' Wishing Stars

(Updated to include every character's wish, then added more thoughts about more of the other wishes. Thoughts on Norton's/Fool's Gold's and Jose's are at the end)

Part 1 - Wishing Stars

Survivors

Lucky: I wish for good fortune for everyone! May the lucky star bless all!

Emily: May all be endowed with wellness and joy. May sickness be but a distant shadow in this world.

Freddy: I've made some mistakes, Martha, but I've never regretted loving you.

Kreacher: Set adrift toward the yonder, and let everyone know: Kreacher's ambitions shall be made manifest! Mark my words!

Emma: Father, Mother, are you well? Do you, too, gaze up at the stars this evening?

Servais: I wish to one day stand on the grandest stage of magic! That day will surely come.

Kurt: To live in this beautiful world is a blessing, and in the future, I hope to pursue adventures in higher, farther, and grander realms!

Naib: Will this lantern reach the rivers of my homeland? If so, I wish for it to tell her I'm doing well.

Martha: May each soul find sanctuary, never to lose oneself, never to drift astray.

Tracy: Changing the world might be too lofty an ideal, but I at least want to invent things that bring happiness to more people!

William: Someday, I will be acknowledged! Victory is the domain of the brave-those who defy adversity!

Helena: The night sky must be beautiful, just as it is in my imagination. If possible, I'd like to see this wonderful world with my own eyes someday.

Fiona: Mother, do you see? I've taken another step closer to the truth of this world.

Vera: Vera, I wish you well. It was all worth it.

Kevin: They say the departed become stars.. Even now, I still remain shamefully illuminated by your light.

Margaretha: In the not-too-distant future, there will surely be a stage as brilliant as this starry sky meant solely for me. This is my wish.

Eli: Stars, rivers, flowers. This is a beautiful dream I never anticipated, so please let this dream last a little longer.

Aesop: May this lantern find tranquil shores, as may I.

Norton: I want to live a better life.

Patricia: May fate judge all wrongdoing.

Murro: Well-being to all! I hope someone, somewhere, will remember Murro.

Mike: I wish to bring joy to more people and help everyone forget their troubles!

Jose: May all my loved ones embark on their own journeys, and may lighthouses guide them to safe harbors.

Demi: Brother, are you well? Are you admiring this starry sky too?

Victor: To whoever sees my letter and lantern, know that Victor wishes you eternal happiness.

Andrew: Though I cannot gaze directly upon the sun, this eve, I've beheld the most resplendent darkness. I am grateful for this night and for those who accompany me.

Luca: Those who march toward science and truth will not regret it. One day, I will prove everything.

Melly: What a beautiful night. I hope all those little lives be cherished, as they rest beneath the grass and leaves.

Edgar: The shifting starry sky hides endless beauty and mystery, and we mortals, mere chroniclers of this splendor, stand and gaze, as do I.

Ganji: I wish the people of my hometown healthy and prosperous. At least, tonight, I'm looking at the same sky as you.

Annie: May every child grow in peace and happiness. May every little toy cradle your grandest dreams.

Emil: I often forget the past, but from now on, every day shall brim with bliss. I wish that everyone could remember only happiness.

Ada: I wish for Emil's good health. May we all cherish the present and the love of others.

Orpheus: Fate pens the finest tales, so I hope everyone's story holds fewer regrets, twists, and at least, more favorable conclusions.

Memory: The stars are exceptionally beautiful tonight! I also wish to be a kind, loving person who brings happiness to everyone.

Weeping Clown: One day, when the audience watches Joker, they, too, will wear a genuine, satisfied smile.

Professor: I don't have any wishes, save for this lantern to journey far, far away.

Qi: May old companions fare well.

Frederick: The night always brings to mind fragments of the past and chaotic whispers, yet from such whispers, countless great inspirations arise.

Alice: Alice, follow the path you believe to be true, for earnest living begets serendipity.

Charles: Stars, please tell me - should I hold on a little longer?

Lily: I shall alter all through sheer endeavor, Simon.

Matthias: Will the moonlight shine on me… on Matthias?

Florian: The bright yet warmthless stars evoke memories of childhood Christmases.

Evelyn: Are you still searching for your destination.

Hunters

Leo: Lisa, may you grow up healthy and safe.

Joker: Come on! I wish for everyone to share in the madness and mirth with me!

Jack: Should I wish for clarity, or pray to forever bask in this enchanting night…

Bane: May no creature suffer harm. May the heart of humanity awaken to conscience.

Violetta: Oh, beautiful stars… I wish everyone well! I hope… I hope everyone can be loved.

Michiko: Love is bittersweet, and time ticks on without a care. Gazing at the moon always brings to mind those no longer with us.

Hastur: (There is no writing on the wishing star, but it shows signs of having been soaked in water.)

Wu Chang: May you be well, may the years be kind, and may lovers remain together in love.

Joseph: Does moonlight hold the power to turn back time? If such a thing were true, I'd wish to return to the time when you were still here.

Burke: It's too late for me to start making any wishes. But if everyone else is safe and happy, this old soul can rest easy.

Yidhra: (The wishing star is blank, but a fierce night wind blows upon beholding it.)

Robbie: I want a songbird that can fly to where my parents are and sing to them.

Luchino: Rather than making wishes, I believe humanity ought to strive for advancement through diligence.

Mary: The illusion of opulence has been shattered. Given another beginning, I'd choose to be the master of my destiny.

Bonbon: It's been a pleasure knowing you! Bonbon!

Ann: I'm lucky to have found a purpose in life. I hope everyone's kindness and faith will not be in vain.

Antonio: My violin bow, please play the most exquisite, unbound melodies.

Galatea: Stars above, please grant me more inspiration and opportunities to create beautiful works.

Percy: (The wishing star is unmarked, save for traces of motor oil, resembling a moon perhaps?)

Polun: We want money! Wealth! Fame! Of course, we want our dear father and mother too!

Grace: I wish for no one to be lonely. I wish that you could all be happy. As for me, I can't think of any wishes.

Philippe: If my sister and I could gaze at this starry sky together, my wish would be fulfilled.

Nightmare: Congratulations, you've glimpsed the writings of the "Nightmare" in this wondrous dream!

Keigan: I wish for this world to have more justice and rationality. That should be enough.

Alva: May more forsake the folly of human nature and choose to approach the truth.

Ithaqua: Mother, if possible, I wish to at least dream of those moments in the woods and snow at night.

Sangria: Burn once more, for I still seek to prove my worth.

Fool's Gold: I've already dug my way out of fate's mine. Haven't I?

Ivy: (The paper is scribbled with 2 little girls holding a wishing star lantern together.)

Part 2 - Thoughts

In general, all of them are pretty good and I definitely think helps paint a better picture of each character, who they are deep down, and what their priority/goal is.

Quite a few few of them though are fairly sad, including (to me) Freddy, Naib, Helena, Kevin, Murro, Ganji, Charles, Violetta, Joseph, Burke, Robbie, Philip, Ithaqua, Fool's Gold, and Ivy. I have to say, the ones that made me feel the worst were Kevin and Burke (especially the latter. Can you not make me feel like I wanna cry?).

Freddy's I quite like as I think it tells a lot about him. He admits he's not perfect, he admits even things he did weren't right, but for good or ill he still loves Martha Remington. To me, it's that admission of his mistakes I like the most.

Naib and Ganji both simply wishing to be home, with their families, but because they can't they just wish that their loved ones are happy and sufficiently taken care of. Despite how they may be depicted in their games, they both have a lot of sorrow in their heart and have been through quite the ordeals, all while being far from home and any chance to return is slim or difficult to acquire. Everything they do matters little compared to their longing to return home and move past all this.

Helena's wish I to see the world one day, for obvious reasons, is quite sad considering how she lost her eyesight when she was young. As a result, she can only imagine and dream of seeing the sky. The fact there's little chance she'll regain her sight somehow (unless something happens in the future) is what makes this line hurt the most.

Murro's wish is only for someone to remember him, which honestly is quite the implication of how he feels about himself and how he thinks others' feel about him. He's been through so much, losing his parents, then his ill treatment and abuse while he was kept by Bernard, to the point he simply wanted to get away from people and just be with his partner. It's that feeling he's given up hope, and the idea that this is all he thinks he's capable of hoping for... It's like he already thinks he has no future and nothing much to look forward to.

Wishes of people like Charles, Robbie, Joseph, Philip, Ithaqua, and Ivy are focused on the loss of those close to them, some of which are consumed by the guilt at their role in that loss or inability to prevent their death. Joseph especially has devoted the rest of his life to attempting to revive Claude, and has been incapable of ever having a single moment where he isn't thinking about his twin. It makes me think about what Michiko said regarding the bittersweetness of love, and how time marches on whether or not those we love are left behind. The important question being whether a person is capable of moving forward or will be stuck looking back, which is the whole theme with Orpheus.

Violetta's wish hurts me due to me reading into her line and feeling like she's referring to herself. And the idea that she's wishing there was someone out there who will love her, as her being abandoned by her parents, taken by Max who treated her like an object to attract attention to his freak show and earn him money, but once she no longer did, he disposed of her, leaving Violetta feeling unwanted. Despite what she's been through, she is still a kind and positive person, but even she has moments where she can't help but let slip hints about her true feelings.

Kevin of course has been and still is a very sad boy. He, like Joseph, has his thoughts forever stuck on the loved ones he lost. He is incapable of moving past Angelina's death, further compounded by his guilt regarding Angelina's father and the tribe. He is trapped by his guilt. It's the fact that Kevin refuses to forgive himself, blaming himself for everything that has happened, is why Kevin's wish hurts me so much.

Burke... I don't even know what to say. This was the 1 that I think hurt the most for a bunch of reasons that I don't quite know how to put to words. Netease, please stop trying to make me cry.

As for other wishes that caught my attention:

Mike's simple wish to bring joy to people and help them forget their troubles was curious, as I think it really helps give a better idea about him, considering he's someone I sometimes find tricky to figure out. His deductions depict him as pretty mischievious, especially with things like using rocks or nitrogen in his tricks. But then we get to the tragedy, and all we don't really get any more ... good descriptions from Mike himself as to how he is internally. Except for hints based on how he went to the morgue to confirm who was dead and who was missing. And then with his suspicion of (and disgust for) Margaretha, as well as Joker. His last deduction and backstory really emphasize that his singular goal is essentially revenge. Yet we learn in through the letters that he was unable to do so even when he's given the chance. This is why I at least personally appreciate this little detail about his interest in people's happiness and desire to fix all their problems. It helps put everything else in better perspective.

Vera's was mainly due to how she says it was "all worth it". This seems to confirm how she feels about her actions, despite the sorrow she describes in her 1st letter due to her own actions, and despite the reality of what she did. She continues to reason with herself that, despite the cost, it all worked out in the end. It could show just how broken she's become due to how she grew up due to her father and everyone looking down on her and treating her the way they did. It could show just how hard her heart has become as a result. But it's also possible to read this line as trying to convince herself to not regret. To not dwell on what she's done. To try to tell herself that it's ok, it's ok, it's ok. If this is true, whether or not she actually fully believes this attempt to reason with herself is a separate question.

Margaretha's further confirms the type of person she's in and the life she's interested in. She's still interested in luxury, she's still a bit vain, just like her personality info in-game states. However, what I was focused on was how she talks about having a stage "solely for me". This to me reads as she wants to be able to move forward and survive on her own without having to rely on others, like she did previously with Sergei, or how she's "exploiting" Joker. Which I think is a good development on her part, as I think it shows growth. It's something that may take time, but she's expressing determination to achieve this goal.

Martha was primarily of interest to me as, similar to Violetta, I read it as she was essentially referring to herself. It's a lament over the fact she has no place she sees as "home", and she doesn't even know who she is anymore. She's taken on too many identities, and gone through so much that she isn't sure who is the real her or if even if she does remember if it'll actually feel right to her anymore. She's lost and doesn't know how to find her way back on to the path. Her wish is a warning to others the way I see it, which is imporant considering what we learn happened with her in her game.

Sangria's I find curious as I never really thought about her like that, the idea that she wants to "prove [her] worth". It can make sense considering her backstory and deductions emphasize how badly she was treated by her father and the fact she was viewed as "less than a toy", as well as make sense based on whatever happened between her and the lady to cause Sangria to later ask to "get back on stage". I feel like this wish could potentially help understand some of what happens with her in her game...

Then there's Nightmare. Which to me feels... the strangest and almost out of place of any of the wishes. I'm still not quite sure about the real meaning behind it yet but it does make me think...

On that same tangent, I'll go to Orpheus next. Similarly, his line is quite interesting and will take me some time to really digest. The fact he speaks of wanting to reduce other people's regrets and give them "more favorable conclusions" to me is strange. Some of the stories he writes don't exactly feel like he's trying to give the people it's based on better "conclusions", nor does it feel like he's doing that with the participants of each of his games. Though looking at a different place, what he seems to be doing to Kevin in his 4th letter does feel like he's trying to manipulate Kevin's memories to make him think Angelina isn't dead. The entire truth of the goal of Orpheus' experiments and actions is still something I don't think we fully grasp yet. It's possible more is happening to the participants than we know (especially with how of them, or at least their bodies, are missing, and I still wonder about Yidhra's and Joseph's involvements, considering the Dreamlands or Joseph's photo world could potentially present Orpheus an opportunity to maybe give individuals a happier story if they are trapped there, especially with the memory drugs, but I'm still unsure about so much...).

Norton's wish is such a great but simple enough summary for his character. He's not asking to be rich. He's not asking for gold despite that's what he searched for in Golden Cave. He's not asking for anything in particular. All Norton cares about is having a "better" life. Something more than being trapped in poverty, with a job that could kill him at any time, and especially over time the longer he has it. He wants to not have to worry about starving all the time, or worry if he'll have a place to shelter for the night, or worry about cruel coworkers or employers, any other necessities he needs. We've seen that he isn't asking for anything fancy. He eats simple bread, and spends what little spare money he has on books and knowledge. He just wants enough so he'll never have to worry about going back to that life again.

Which is interesting when considering Fool's Gold's wish: "I've already dug my way out of fate's mine. Haven't I?". This to me sounds like he's trying to convince himself. He's desperately hoping he's finally escaped the mine, which he describes as "fate's" mine. This referencing his "fate" as a miner due to his father also being a miner. The fact he describes it as how he "dug my way out" is a way of showing how he's done everything himself. He was the one who's fought tooth and nail to get out of his situation, who's spent all his blood, sweat, and tears to originally just work hard enough to earn what he can, and then when that didnt work find another way, and when he was trapped in Golden Cave, how he literally dug his way out (which shows how badly he wants to live). "Fate" being a "mine" also has the symbolism of Norton originally seeing his fate as somethin dark, made by someone else who forced him into it, a place with little room to move full of many dangers, surrounded by many people who either treated him badly or only cared for themselves, and the only path forward led further and further down. This was why Norton wants to escape his fate, and why he's been so desperate to do anything he can if it means a way out. He wants a brighter fate, one not trapped underground, but a fate out in the open world where the sky is the limit. Unfortunately though, as we can see from the ending of Fool's Gold's wish, Norton isn't entirely convinced he's completely escaped his fate. Which is curious and I wish I could see the reasoning behind his thoughts. Is it because he's afraid he'll be caught for what he did? Is it because he's afraid he'll have to go back to the mine if he is unable to find any other way of making a living? Is it because of whatever happened while he was trapped in the mind that he's continuously referenced but never explained, that's lead to him being so deathly afraid of the place? Or does it have something to do with his current situation with Orpheus and whatever the order was in his 2nd letter? Considering this is the 2nd time we've seen Norton trying to convince himself but failing to do so completely by the end (the 1st time being in Norton's 2nd letter where he tries to convince himself to go through with the assassination order), I wonder if it's possible these 2 things could be related. Maybe he feels like or is starting to feel like his current situation is not any better than it was before when he was still a miner, or when he was trapped in Golden Cave. Which is curious as that seems to reinforce how we can't be completely sure what Norton will do in the final game, or what the full truth of his relationship with Orpheus, Alice, and the others is. It's also interesting this line comes from Fool's Gold, who also appeared in Norton's backstory trailer, before he causes Golden Cave to collapse. He's holding his head, and seemingly fighting with himself over whether he should do it or not. Hunter Norton seems to be a way of showing Norton's internal dilemma, his war with himself, with how Hunter Norton is likely symbolized in Norton's 2nd letter, and now again here when Norton's trying to convince himself that he's escaped his fate. But unlike the 1st time in the mine when Hunter Norton managed to win out and cause the mine collapse, these other 2 times haven't ended with a certain winner, which could show how Norton's changed or how he may not be willing to do the same thing again. But maybe I'm thinking too hard.

As for Jose, I wish I could understand him better. Despite how his father treated him, despite how he only cared about fame and fortune, despite how he was only ever concerned about looking good for the Queen and everyone he deemed important, Jose still wishes his "loved ones" to stay safe essentially. Who that would be besides his family I'm not sure. We never learn about his mother, and there's really no one else that could be outside of maybe some people he was friends with, though he specifically says "loved ones". We don't know if he was friendly with those on his crew, though we know at least some were of the same type of person as Jose's father based on Jose's deduction 7, while others died either when Jose's father vanished or during deduction 4. We now know he's tied in some way to Sam Bourbon but not the specifics of that relationship (how friendly were they?). Therefore, it's most likely he's referring to his father here. I wish I knew more about Jose's feelings and relationship with his father, considering deduction 7 and 8, as well as other bits don't exactly make Joaquin out to be a good person or see his son as anything but an object. But it's possible it was because Jose's father was the only family he ever had, and he simply wished he could've stopped him from doing what Jose didn't agree with and/or helped change him for the better.

[wannabepoeticischiya]

to live in a plato perfect world

If I had gathered just enough courage to begin—

Would I not be left wondering... what we could have been?

ao3: to live in a plato perfect world pairing: okkotsu yuuta x f! reader genre: romance, angst wc: 7.1k status: one shot

Based on a true story.

"So, [Name]... what happened with Yuuta?"

November was a fickle thing, so [Name] would think. Just a moment ago, they were cradled under the amber skies littered with a nimiety of clouds varying in shapes and sizes now, a darkened canvas hung overhead; the stars she would have loved to stare at for hours on end were nowhere to be found... even the moon had hidden behind the curtains of the abyss. Her eyes reflected the same emptiness the heavens held, almost as if the nothingness painted so high above was created to replicate the very emotion surging through every vein and artery in her. Strange, wasn't it not? To feel everything yet feel as though you're nothing at all. She turned her gaze to the person who spoke her name—Maki.

Maki who was there through it all. The one and only who triggered the idea of what it could have been. The one who was right all along. The one... [Name] couldn't bring herself to tell.

You owe it to us, [Name]-chan!

Tuna!

Yeah! So, tell us what happened~

Is it good? Bad?

[Name] can vividly remember the words her friends had spoken that night and the days that would follow that; she would laugh at their attempts to get it out of her, yet her answer remained the same. 'That's a secret~', those words were not complete lies... and [Name] made sure of it. She never liked lying—especially when it comes to her friends—but this one was something that she thought was a necessary action.

She loved each and every single one of them, and heaven knows that she'd take a curse for them any day. They were supportive and loving—there for her through thick and thin. [Name] couldn't have been more grateful that she had met them... but this was simply just not something she could tell—not when they were so hopeful.

[Name] turned to look at Maki, probably for the first time since that fateful day. She was eternally thankful that Maki didn't push her to talk about it up until now... "Ne, Maki-chan..." Her spoken words to the green-haired girl would have been mistaken as a melody carried by the nearing yuletide... but Maki knew her, and she knows that it took [Name] a great deal of courage to do what she did.

"Would it kill me if I didn't talk about something that's really bothering me deep inside?"

Now that was something the Zenin did not expect. To her, this felt more like an unravelling: would you accept the answers even if they're not the things you hoped that you'd hear? Will you still look at me like that even after you hear the truth? Would you still have the heart to say that I'm your friend even if I destroyed something we both hold so dear? A small stutter in time went unnoticed by the quiet girl patiently waiting for her answer. Maki took a deep breath and voiced out the words that would allow [Name] to say it all. "It would."

So, tell me what happened... were the words that [Name] heard behind her answer.

"He rejected me."

---

"You run like a little girl, [Name]!"

"I am a girl, Yuuta you twat!"

There they go again. Inumaki Toge, Panda and Zenin Maki collectively sighed at the scenery playing out before them.

"We're just crossing the streets but somehow they still find a reason to argue." It wasn't that Panda was annoyed by his two classmates' constant bickering, on the contrary, it was their main source of amusement. Watching Okkotsu Yuuta and [Name] bicker like an old married couple was better than any soap opera Gojo Satoru would stay up late into the night just to watch.

"Shake Sushi!"

The two sorcerers watched as an aggravated [Name] reached into her bag, pulling out a small, circular object (a walnut), and hurling it in the direction of the teasing exorcist.

"Ow!"

Traces of irritation etched into the girl's face had faded, replaced by a triumphant expression at the sound of Okkotsu Yuuta in pain—it might be sad that her only source of external joy was to get a step ahead of him, witness his demise and get back at him for his incessant teasing. [Name] was about to let out a haughty laugh yet held herself back once she saw that the obsidian-haired boy still had that wicked grin plastered all over his stupid face.

"You missed."

[Name] looked at him with every hint of malice she possessed, hell if she wasn't a sorcerer, she would pass as a curse (Yuuta's words). "Why you little—" She leaped from her current position from the side of the road and attempted to claw out Yuuta's eye sockets.

"Okay! That's enough of that you two!" Maki intervened, swiftly going in between her two classmates. The Zenin threw an appreciative look at Inumaki who held back the thrashing girl like a cat.

"Let me at him, Inumaki-san! That primitive little piece of—" [Name] struggled desperately from the Cursed-Speech User's hold, still trying to scratch away that stupid smile her classmate had whenever he'd get a kick out of teasing the daylights out of her.

"We should go Maki, before the two of them kill each other."

Why don't they just date already...

--

"What? Really? Megumi-chan, you never had a girlfriend?"

If someone were to tell [Name] that purple was not an actual physical entity, naturally, she would believe that. It was scientifically explained, after all. She even went as far as arguing with Gojo Satoru about the existence of the color purple (she didn't really get why he was so defensive about it, if purple was his favorite color and the people of science deemed it was something that didn't exist, then he could just go find another color). But what her cute, little underclassman was saying is outright preposterous! He's got it all! Besides the terrible people skills, who wouldn't like little Megumi-chan? "I'm quite sure, [Name]-senpai." And just like that, the upperclassman's enthusiasm deflated like a balloon. If Megumi-chan can't get a girlfriend, it's hopeless for the rest of the world!

"Itadori-kun! Have you ever had a girlfriend?" [Name] passed her hope onto the next underclassman on the list, ever-so-precious Itadori-kun! Surely! For sure, this little ball of sunshine has had at least—

"Nope!" And as though sensing the following question the older exorcist would throw, Itadori quickly added, "Not a single one, [Name]-senpai!" Why is he so happy about that! If those two can't get girlfriends, then there really is no hope—

Out of the corner of [Name]'s eyes, she sees that a certain classmate of hers has been attempting to burn holes into the back of her head since the beginning of her conversation with the two first years. Sneering at him physically and in her head, the girl turned her head to face away from that annoying pest. If I ask that racoon, it will surely go to his head. I'd rather not. Despite [Name]'s attempt to ignore his stare, it ultimately fails. Yuuta was not going to give in, not when it involves getting to gloat in [Name]'s face. With a tired sigh, she reluctantly asked him the same question.

"You?" [Name] turned to look at Yuuta, half-expecting him to say he had at least one. If he gets on his high horse again, I will smack the life out of him I swear— She was confident in her cold, logical reasoning, as well as Yuuta's behavior to revel in triumph at finding out he was better than her in something; casting all of those aside, as much as she hated to admit it—and she would rather drink vomit than do so—he does have the face...

And like a child, he pointed at himself, albeit with feigned confusion. What an idiot. She would think, but his answer stunned [Name] to a momentary silence: short enough to stare at him menacingly like she always did yet extensive enough to give her an ample amount of time to contemplate his reasoning.

"With the way I look?"

Was this a joke? [Name] had taken Yuuta for many things, a sleaze, superiority complex (although it generally only applied to being better than her), a loser with nothing better to do than to pick on her every chance he got, but not once did it ever occur to her that he would be a liar. Yuuta was many things to [Name], and she knew, a liar was not one of them. Yuuta must have taken note of [Name]'s reaction to his answer—or rather, the lack thereof. "No, I haven't." Not a hint of mockery could be traced back to his response for a change. Although, even after his confirmation, the girl was still skeptical, but she gave him the benefit of doubt.

"I don't believe you." But the words that come don't always comply with the ones in her head.

"Well, your choice." He shrugged. I hate this guy. [Name] narrowed her eyes at him and scrutinized him from head to toe.

"But... I never did have one."

Then he smiled. What was there to smile about? [Name] didn't quite know why he was acting like a lunatic. He was always a lunatic, plus he was annoying too, and every bit of her soul screamed at her body to get as far away from him as it was physically allowable. But a rhythm changed somewhere in her, like a beat of a drum going out of sync with the rest of the symphony or a galaxy colliding with another far into the cradles of the cosmos... and along the lines of Yuuta's smile and his kind eyes, she thought he at least looked a little nice.

---

"I don't need your help, Yuuta you twat!"

"Okay, okay... I was just asking."

Perhaps, [Name] did require Yuuta's aid... but she was too stubborn to admit that. Yuuta knew that as well, but he was far too disciplined to deny her of her wishes... even if they do contradict her situation. The stands of the abandoned running field were eerily silent, usually, students from the nearby college would go here just to loiter, even athletes occasionally use the tracks for practice... now, it's just as desolate as the rest of its surroundings. Broken staircases leading up to the platforms were easy enough to climb... although, it later proved to be difficult for gravity-challenged people such as [Name] to descend, hence why Yuuta was generously offering to help the Sorcerer who was too prideful to accept.

"Are you two done flirting? We got curses to exorcise."

"I'd rather eat a curse that date that weirdo." [Name] jutted her thumb in the direction of Yuuta, an expression of disgust carving itself onto her face at the thought of even remotely being close to Okkotsu, let alone be psycho enough to be in a relationship with him. "Ew." She added for good measure.

Traces of cursed energy lingered in the uninhabited buildings nearby, as to why they were built in the first place only to be abandoned, [Name] didn't know. What she was sure of was that an unnecessary, foreign feeling was brewing in her stomach and made her want to puke her insides only to swallow them back again. She did not like that one bit.

After a few moments of walking, "What is this place, Yuuta?" It was the Panda who had voiced out everyone's curiosity. The skies had long faded into the indigos of the night, fragments of the warm afternoon zephyr drifted to the far ends of the horizons, leaving the cool evening breeze to ravage in their wake. No longer were they cradled under a palette covered in multitudes of colors; little by little, stars had littered the darkened canvas above, shining down on the figures of the young Sorcerers.

It was foreign to them—well, all of them aside from Yuuta who has lived here for the majority of his life before moving to Tokyo. "They built this place way back for a regional competition," he began, slicing the tall grass so their group could advance further into the sea of darkness, "it was used for a few times, and as crazy as it sounds, a senator even came to watch. But once the stadium in the neighboring town was established, everyone just seemed to pretend like they didn't know this place." Cutting the last bits of greenery, the students soon came face to face with more neglected infrastructures.

"Most of these buildings just ran out of money to operate," he gestured to the old signboards scattered all over the street, "now they don't even have the funds to demolish the place."

Moonlight seeped through the crevices left by the drifting clouds, blanketing the unremembered lands with a soft glow; wades of grass danced to the rhythm hummed by the autumn gale as the footsteps of the Sorcerers slowly came to a halt. Everything around them is what was expected of a curse's home: shattered windowpanes, fractures littering the ivy-covered walls of the many buildings caging them in, that sad, desolate feeling you get at the sight of a place that used to thrive with life be reduced to a graveyard. In a strange way, being forgotten came with a sense of peace.

"This place is pretty big, we'll split up to cover more ground." And there goes the ever-so-reliable, Zenin Maki. The task handed to them by their dear teacher wouldn't go as smoothly as they had wanted to if it wasn't for their Green-haired classmate. Always quick to think, always ready to act. "I'll go south, Inumaki will go west and Panda to the east." Never hesitant to push Yuuta and [Name] to get along.

Maki turned to look at them, giving them a warning stare, "You two go north, and try not to kill each other."

If you wanted us not to slit each other's throats, you should have separated us, Maki-chan! Is what [Name] wanted to protest, but seeing as everyone wanted this night to end and get this labor done and over with, the exorcist kept her complaint to herself. Besides, the sooner they finish the assignment, the faster it would be to ditch this whacko and call it quits. For now, she'd at least put in the efforts to deal with his antics... for everyone's sake.

"If there's any sign of the curse, give the signal and we'll proceed with the plan."

With that, the rest of their classmates walked down their own assigned locations, leaving the two—who are most likely at their wits end trying to restrain the urge to tease away the remnants of patience the other has left or to stab the other in the eye—alone, in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by abandoned buildings.

[Name] tried her best to keep her remarks to herself, following a few steps behind Yuuta who had begun moving forward as soon as their classmates' last shadow had blended with the darkness. She was not from here—where [Name] grew up, stream of lights would flow from every direction she'd look, illuminating every nook and cranny as though the sun had never slipped under the blankets of the horizons; warm, incandescent glow would erupt from the meadows that served as her haven for many, many moons; radiance gifted by the stars would end their journeys in the pools of her eyes, embedding themselves deep into her soul—never to be forgotten. It was different now, even if [Name] had never once feared darkness, she would not allow her pride to cloud her judgement of danger. So, she simply let Yuuta, who originated here, be a step ahead of her.

Their walk was silent, nothing but the steady sound of shoes hitting cobblestone echoed between the abyss and where they were. It was odd, unnerving even... but [Name] would never dare to voice that out. Her annoyingly annoying classmate was willingly being silent for once, and she would rather feed herself to hyenas than to admit she yearned to hear the sound of his voice.

[Name] can't remember the time it began, what soil did this mess even sprouted from, or even just the moment it all came crashing down. She guesses that somewhere between the hazy lines of 'I will kill you, Yuuta you twat' and mocking whispers of '[Name]~', everything blurred and faded... until all that remained was this annoying, unwanted, echoing sounds of voices that rampaged within her like a storm. [Name] tried to be kind, desperately so, but the universe had different plans when it heard her praying for extra amounts of patience and self-restraint.

It was drizzling when she spoke her first words to the Exorcist whose back was turned to her, bleakness blanketing the institute when the echoes of 'would you like to share an umbrella?' was met with silence. [Name] liked to think she was considerate, after all, that was the first time she had ever attempted to offer a classmate an ounce of kindness; only her kindness was repaid with getting left flabbergasted when the first ever recipient of it in history had stared at her for a momentary silence and flat-out declined—preferring to walk under the tears of the heavens. [Name] let the issue slide, telling herself that perhaps the boy whose hair flowed in waves of obsidian did not like the thought of sharing with a shorter person's umbrella—she let it slide. [Name] tried to be kind, hopelessly so, but every bit of her restraint and resolve to fulfill a New Year's resolution had disintegrated that one summer evening.

Much like now, they basked in the stillness of the night. Not a word spoken out of line, not even a breath. Whispers of everyday life had wandered into the orchestra of the city, revs of the passing vehicles drowning the words left for the wind to take; painted yellow from the lights, Yuuta and [Name] treaded silently. Their classmates were already far off into the distance, eager to get to the restaurant where their teacher awaited, leaving the two exorcists alone to ponder over their thoughts. The reason for their sluggish pace wasn't that the two of them did not wish to attend (Gojo Satoru was paying, why decline?); it was because [Name] did not know how to cross the road, thus leading to their delay.

Thankfully, Yuuta was kind enough to stay with [Name] (although, in reality, he was forced by Maki) and prevented her from getting run over by a bicycle or a truck, whichever would come first. Back then, [Name] was filled with the thoughts that perhaps she would become good friends with the black-haired sorcerer. Yuuta was kindhearted as to not scrutinize her for not knowing how to use pedestrian lanes, or jaywalk, whichever was necessary and even went as far as waiting for her when everyone else went on ahead.

A small smile painted its way on her face, visible only under the light of a closing stall as they passed by. The sidewalks narrowed down greatly the further they walked the path leading to their destination, leaving only but a few spaces for a single person to walk through. Yuuta placed a single foot onto the open highway, followed by another and another until he completely diverged from her path leaving her to walk the pavement alone. Lost and somewhat befuddled, [Name] attempted to follow where the Sorcerer went, only to witness as the world descended at a speed akin to the fall of gravity. Suddenly, Yuuta, who was laughing hysterically, became an entire arm taller than her, and a stinging pain erupted from her knee.

"What are you doing, [Name]?" He questioned, trying his best to restrain the amusement begging to coat his words. "Catch any frogs down there?" Yuuta ultimately failed and laughed for at least five more seconds before extending his hand out for her to take.

And just like that, [Name]'s New Year's Resolution had exploded like fireworks. Angrily, she accepted Yuuta's offer; swore to herself it would be the first and last time she would. How could she ever think of accepting another? When, at this very second, his shameless chortling had reached the ears of a few passersby! As if his previous teasing was not enough, "New core memory unlocked." Yuuta stoked the fire of rage even more.

Of all the things this guy has to set as his core memory, it's the one where I make a fool of myself?! "Why must this be your core memory of me?!" [Name] tried to complain, at least try to convince Yuuta to switch gears so she wouldn't have to live in fear of this moment being used as potential blackmail. "Couldn't you have picked something like, 'my classmate who is good at English'?" Now [Name] tried to bargain.

"Oh, yeah, that's good too, but this one would be added as well." [Name] was not one to believe in ghosts, nor of ogres and trolls hiding under bridges, but for a moment, under the fluorescent lights of the establishment before them, when Yuuta grinned... he looked like the devil himself.

[Name] skipped all the stages of friendship, as well as the stages of grief. Okkotsu Yuuta, to [Full Name] was an enemy and nothing but anger was reserved for him.

"What in the world happened to you two?" Kind enough of their snow-haired teacher to come out and greet them, if he hadn't, it would only be [Name] standing before him now. Gojo Satoru would have to play jigsaw with Yuuta as he looks all over the dumpsters of Tokyo trying to piece his body back together for a proper burial.

"Say a word, Yuuta you twat and I will kill you."

"Nothing~ Gojo-sensei."

Far too preoccupied she was, that [Name] failed to see the smile Yuuta gave her way the moment the curse of their task was signaled as exorcised.

"Let's go home now, [Name]."

---

Cold was the mid-autumn breeze; leaves descended from the trees like rain, painting the cobblestones with palettes of orange and brown. [Name]'s breath escaped her lips in a form of mist, clouding in front of her reddening cheeks. Their ever-so-pleasant teacher just had to call them out at 7 A.M. on a perfectly freezing Tuesday morning for his quote—unquote Terrific-Tuesday-Endurance-Training. It was useless if you'd ask [Name], only because she felt that it could be done on any day, preferably days when the temperature wasn't close to turning them to ice, or hours where the sun isn't just peeking through the horizons.

Despite the lack of warmth of the November zephyr, Gojo Satoru definitely exceeded any passing wind the season of winter had to offer when it came to heartlessness! Terrific-Tuesday-Endurance-Training just had to be done in the middle of the courtyard where not a speck of heat could be made, or a source of warmth was near, what's worse is that everybody was already here, everybody but the sole proprietor of this grand idea.

"Hi, guys... sorry I'm late..." [Name] had to suppress her growing irritation, she didn't want to mangle what was left of her New Year's Resolution... but with the rampage of those unwanted chemicals in her system, the temperature that was nearing the point of freezing off her limbs, and the ungodly hours in which they were called upon—the year is already ending anyway, let's just make another resolution.

"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG WE'VE BEEN STANDING HERE—" [Name] turned to scold her teacher, or at least, who she expected was her teacher only to be met by the sorry state that was Okkotsu. Red-nosed like a reindeer, bloodshot eyes like an addict, flushed cheeks of a drunkard, and wrapped with more layers than a burrito. He looks terrible. "You definitely seen better days." She sneered.

"Hah... yeah, for sure." Yuuta sniffed, or breathed, who knows—before going to stand beside [Name] who took a few steps to widen their distance which made Okkotsu trace the steps she left on the earth. This idiot—

Maki, noticing what [Name] was obviously trying to ignore, asked the question. "Are you sick, Okkotsu?"

Detecting her annoying classmate's distraction, [Name] took the chance to escape from Yuuta's space trespassing and instead cross the fence to the Panda's space.

"Maki-san? No, no... I'm fine. Just a little cold that's all—" taking note of the missing warmth beside him, Okkotsu's gaze left the green-haired Zenin to look for where it had gone.

The moment his stare met the awaiting eyes of [Name], he gave a toothy smile; his eyes closing to form two crescent moons.

Unable to hold that sick—quite literally—expression, [Name] forced herself to look away, afraid that her heart would burst out of her chest from how quickly it was hammering against her rib cage. Don't look at me like that. She did not know what to make of it all—when Yuuta looked at her like she was everything but an annoyance. Like she was nothing but herself... nothing but the girl he loved to tease to no end.

"ARE YOU GUYS READY FOR TERRIFIC-TUESDAY-ENDURANCE-TRAINING? CAN I GET A YES SIR?!"

[Name]'s eyes directed towards her teacher that was an entire forty minutes late, as much as she wanted to yell at him, scold him for his negligence—making them wait for so long in this weather—the young exorcist bit her lip to suppress her words. Fearful that if she were to speak, she would fail to find her voice, that she would be left a stuttering mess—unable to grasp onto a single coherent thought. The once monochromatic palette that shaded her surroundings began morphing to this kaleidoscope of colors that bathed in too much saturation. Limbs that were once close to frostbite felt like fire, burning at every vein that gave her life. Damn you, Yuuta you twat!

"Huh, tough crowd."

Taking note of his students' response, or rather, the lack thereof—the blindfolded sorcerer took it upon himself to begin his Terrific-Tuesday-Endurance-Training which, quite frankly, none of them wanted to do.

Who in their right mind would want to run ten laps around the courtyard? Or thirty pushups? Who would even willingly want to exceed past twenty with sit-ups?

[Name] wished she faked an errand beforehand. Watching her grandma's cat was certainly better than whatever the hell this was.

"Hey, Yuuta... you okay there, buddy?"

Sparing a passing glance at the voice's general direction, [Name] caught a glimpse of the flushed expression her classmate wore on his face. Oh...

"Yuuta-kun?" Satoru approached the obviously sick student who just had to be stubborn and still go to school on this cold, November Tuesday, not only that but forced himself to execute half the exercises of this Terrific-Tuesday-Endurance-Training. "You're burning up," Gojo's gaze skimmed through the faces of his awaiting students, assessing who'd fit best into the responsibility he was about to pass. Inumaki was on a mission. Maki could care less if Yuuta hit his head on the way. [Name] would kill Yuuta if she felt like it. Panda it is!

"Panda, bring Yuuta to Shoko. We'll continue this another time."

Is he gonna die? [Name] watched as Panda supported Yuuta's weight and made their way to the basement, eyes not drifting away from their figures until the last of their shadows disappeared inside the building. Who cares? Why would I care about that idiot anyway...

"Maki, [Name] go warm up."

"After what you just put us through? I'm never taking any of your offers again." Maki complained, sneering at the older sorcerer before departing.

Gojo expected that much from the Zenin, very much so that all that laughing it off would be the best response. Similarly, an answer parallel to her friend was what the snow-haired exorcist prepared for when he turned to set his gaze on the remaining student, but he was surprisingly met with silence. How odd...

[Name] took one look at her teacher, nodded in acknowledgement, and left to go after her classmate.

"Now... what is going on with that girl..."

The majority of Terrific-Tuesday-Endurance-Training Day was spent wondering whether or not Yuuta was going to live to see another day. [Name] found that it was a rather unpleasant way to further ruin an already terrible day but sadly, it was all her brain allowed her to think about. Damn you, Yuuta. No matter what corridor she passed, window she looked through, room she occupied... there was nothing but the thought of Okkotsu Yuuta in her head. And it was annoying her to no end. [Name] never really believed that she was particularly blessed with Yuuta's presence, that was until... she was striped of it.

When twilight passed with no sign of that blasted sorcerer, [Name] sent out the very first message she would willingly send... not out of obligation but of genuine concern.

[Name] wasn't hopeful, honestly, she was not so sure where all that compassion escaped from. But when her phone buzzed from the pocket of her coat, a small smile shadowed her face illuminated by her screen.

---

Maki was never really one to beat around the bush. Once, she told her twin that her new perfume made her smell like feet, which was not all that off the mark but of course, a little sugarcoating wouldn't hurt...

There was also the time she told Panda that wearing a shirt made him look like an Asian version of Winnie the Pooh, which—once again—would not be far-fetched from the truth. But never, in [Name]'s wildest dreams did she expect that one day, she would be the one at the receiving end of that blade.

"Why don't you just confess already, [Name]?"

[Name] laughed, like she did every time Maki, Panda or even Inumaki would imply this blasphemy her classmates would label as 'fessing up and expressing how you really feel'. Sadly, this has been an on-going thing for the past weeks. One of them had to give it up and [Name] swore heaven and earth would have to collide and shatter before she would even think about admitting defeat.

"And what makes you think that I like Yuuta, Maki-chan?"

The Zenin gave a wicked smirk, taunting her friend. It was then, that [Name] realized her slip-up. "Oho~ but I didn't say a name, [Name]-chan~"

Oh shi—

Realizing there was no way out, [Name] did what she did best—turn it into a what-if situation. "Well, say that I did hypothetically, hypothetically hold... affections for him—hypothetically, what makes you think that he'll hypothetically, return them huh?"

This was it. It's over. [Name] was not one to mess things up to this degree where she couldn't worm her way out of, even after just swearing a moment ago that defeat was absolutely unacceptable. But, truly... to what extent could she keep holding onto these feelings? It was getting increasingly more and more difficult to hold them back, her retorts turned meaner, her gaze a lot sharper... enough to cut through the stares she would often feel emanating from Yuuta.

"Simple, I have proof."

"What proof?"

"Say you'll confess, and I'll show it to you."

"Are you out of your mind? That's ridiculous!"

"Promise me, and I'll show it."

"You don't seem to be getting the idea that I need certainty before I can proceed with the actual execution of the mission, knowing that I have guaranteed success—"

"Promise. Then, I'll give you proof." Maki pressed. She really did know where to hit a jackpot when it came to [Name], or—simply put—pressure the one who took promises to an esteemed regard. [Name] stared painfully at her friend, knowing full well that in order to quench her curiosity, she would have to seal her fate and do the unspeakable. The worst he could say is I'm built like a tutorial boss.

"Fine. I promise, I'll... hypothetically, confess."

"Great!" The Zenin beamed, fetching her phone from her pocket, tapping a few times before handing the gadget to the awaiting sorcerer.

Lowering the phone, [Name] looked at Maki with a face that screamed, betrayal. "You tricked me! Where's the proof in this?"

"What? That is proof." Taking her phone back, the green-haired female emphasized on some key points that was clearly never even there. "You can see it right there that he holds you in some sort of regard and that he is considering that the two of you could be something more." See? Right there? Right where?

"Maki-chan... you're being delusional! And what's up with your messages? They're so cryptic." [Name] crossed her arms over her chest, shocked by the trickery she had to face from her own friend. Now, she would have to hold her end of the deal...

"[Name], there's nothing even remotely close to cryptic in that, everyone can see it, even that blindfolded idiot."

"Gojo-sensei is in this too?"

"Uh-huh, even the Kyoto kids and Utahime-sensei. Like I said, [Name]-chan... everyone can see that there's something more, but it looks as though the stars of the show are the only ones oblivious to it all."

How blind do you have to be not to see that he likes you, [Name]? Was the thought running through Maki's head. Nobody would go that far for a person you'd hate, perhaps you—but Okkotsu wouldn't. "Hey, if it turns out he doesn't feel the same... worst he could say is you'd drop common loot if you were defeated."

---

[Name] broke barriers, hammering down the walls she'd built so high—not even the skies could shelter them. But that was exactly the problem. [Name] often thought of it, pondered over the idea in the dead of night, lost hours of sleep trying to get her head around it, yet she never expected that the day the acceptance would come would be something like this. Perhaps all great people should die early, so that they may never have the chance to fall from grace.

"I like you, Yuuta." It took everything in her to admit it, the feelings she had harbored for him for only heaven knows how long. [Name] wasn't sure when it occurred, how he managed to shimmy his way into the fortress of trust issues, but he did. Everything was in place. Then out of nowhere, his eyes shone in a different light; it wasn't the kind of glimmer it would have made when dusted by the luminescence of the setting sun but the kind that refracts and scatters to a million tiny pieces, looking as though faeries had painted them with all the colors the universe could offer. His laughter, which she would have found infuriating and annoying a month ago, bewitched her like a spell, playing like symphonies even in the midst of her most fervent dreams. And little by little, she caught herself stealing glimpses of him, turning her head when someone called his name, she caught herself watching him walk away until all she could see was the last bits of his shadow.

"... Is this a prank, [Name]?" He laughed; the smile plastered on his face not quite reaching his eyes. Is this what he thinks this is? "Wait—that sounds kinda offensive—I didn't mean it like that [Name]—really—"

I see...

Before Yuuta could trail off with his incessant rambling, "Surprise!" [Name] had already interrupted him, with a voice an octave higher than what he was accustomed to hearing accompanied by an enthusiasm that felt more like a stranger than anything else.

Despite his attempt to hide that flickering emotion, [Name] saw it. After all, he was quite easy to read—conflicted, that was what he was. [Name] wouldn't put it past her if he was, to Yuuta, it probably looked as though every fiber of her being wanted to get as far away from him as it was physically possible. "Is this a joke, [Name]?" Yuuta spoke once more, repeating his still unanswered question. You really could be cruel if you wanted too, Yuuta. [Name] remained silent, nothing but the November zephyr singing melodies for the two of them to hear.

And that was enough of an answer for the boy.

"Of all people, you still liked the guy who was always out of it."

Yuuta wanted to laugh it off, hoping it would ease that awkward space wedging itself between the two of them, but he thought better. That wouldn't be right.

"Well, now you know!" It felt unbearable, his silence that is. [Name] was painfully aware of what was to come, the impending future she had laid out for herself, the path that her choice would lead her to; she'd gone down that road more times than she'd like to admit, to the point she'd know where the potholes were planted, where the stones and pebbles would be littered—everything about that place was familiar yet every time she'd be directed that way, her heart would break just a little bit more.

Sunlight painted them golden, its warm rays bouncing off her glossy eyes scattering them like stardust; [Name] felt like absolute scum for doing this, regretfully so... but she didn't want him to think of her any differently. "Let me down easy, will you?" She smiled at him, with sadness that looked as though hurt him more than it hurt her.

Yuuta stared at her with disbelief, certainly not comprehending fast enough that what he was facing right at this very moment was indeed, reality. Her laugh, which he'd only hear when she teased him, was no longer filled with a playful song but a solemn hymn of acceptance for an answer that was yet to come.

[Name] closed her eyes and inhaled, perhaps the last bit of oxygen she'd get before her chest would ache every moment she breathed. Now, [Name]... don't—

"I'm sorry," he whispered, I should be used to those words, "but I can't return your feelings."

... so why do they still hurt? I knew, didn't I? I knew he would never—that he could never—that he...

"I know." [Name] didn't know how she managed to keep her voice from crumbling, she was sure Yuuta thought so too. She hated it. She hated that when she opened her eyes to look at him, he showed nothing but understanding. There was nothing in those damned eyes of his that was anything but kindness. Nothing. Yuuta was making this harder for her than it already was. And she hated that even more. She hated that she couldn't find a single bit of resentment—even pity—or sadness in him at what she just did. [Name] was full of anger, ready to burst at a moment's notice... yet she couldn't borrow any anger to throw at him. She wanted to hate him—yell at him or even just be angry but... she couldn't.

She couldn't—she just couldn't... find a single reason to bring herself to hate him.

... could never feel the same— "I just wanted you to know."

.

.

.

A little too late...

Almost, such a hurtful word to say That the song made just for us had failed to play Melodies I hummed and sang to the skies Didn't reach you as they scattered like petals in the wind and eventually died

You shone so brightly that it left me blinded Faltering... endlessly questioning if I could be the one you wanted Magnified by how many stars you painted on my darkened ether Constellations you hung on my ebony sky, they lit up every fissure

Winter came and they began dimming... losing their once-radiant glow The last of them burned into oblivion, leaving me wandering so Until all that was left for me to see was the unending abyss Remnants of fractured memories I once had thought I would never miss

If I had gathered just enough courage to begin— Would I not be left wondering... what we could have been?

.

.

.

Yuuta swallowed the lump in his throat, eyes reflecting the girl standing before him... pouring her heart out. The girl he thought had resented him with every ounce of strength she possessed, the girl he thought could be an angel to the rest of the world but never to him... the girl he once had thought would be the least likely to like him back.

Why would she like him, out of all the people? He teased her to no end, contradicted her every statement to get her riled up because he thought it was amusing to see her angry. He laughed at her when she fell on the side of the road, when she misspelled convenience with an 'i' and he ended up getting a point higher than her because of it. Why? What did she see in him? Which side of the prism did she look that she uncovered all the things he desperately tried to hide even from himself?

He couldn't bear to see that. The eyes that looked at him with that familiar distaste morphed into a glow that he couldn't understand. Yuuta would imagine himself telling her: don't look at me like that. Like what? She would ask. Like you could love me... he would answer.

Yuuta couldn't bring himself to tell her the awful-tasting truth, so he covered it with those bitter lies. I can't return your feelings, he would say. What [Name] would be unaware is that it was her who returned his sentiments. It was always her for Yuuta... but she would remain ignorant of that fact for a long while. Yuuta would have conquered the heaven and the earth for [Name], given her all that he was—but... he couldn't.

If he really did return her feelings as he was, right now... it would be a disservice to her. Because he would not complete and whole as a person. He would prefer not to turn her down, but he would be hurting her more if he tried to give something he didn't have. Yuuta wouldn't lead [Name] on like an idiot, he'd prefer to be forward than tell her things he didn't mean. He wasn't complete enough to be able to give himself away to another, and he knew that. But he would work hard. Work hard so that she'll deserve him—the best of him.

Yes, the scenarios of this one-shot are true and they did happen... happened to none other than me! *cries* I did fall on the side of the road and my Yuuta did laugh. I did spell convenience wrong and my Yuuta did get a point higher than me because of it. I did throw a walnut at my Yuuta and it hit someone else. My Yuuta did say that I ran like a little girl. My Yuuta did drag me by my feet and wouldn't let me go when he, along with all our friends were drunk out of their minds and I was the only sober one. Me and my Yuuta threw pillows at each other because of that. My Yuuta did offer to help me down a high place, and I did refuse. Me and my Yuuta... only his name wasn't Yuuta. I did write a poem for my Yuuta, and that is the poem that you saw. My Yuuta did get a kick out of teasing me. In the end, it was my Yuuta... who thought so lowly of himself had assumed my confession was a joke, hid his feelings, and ran away, deeming it would be a disservice to me should he return them to me now. My Yuuta was not complete, so he had declared, my Yuuta was not whole enough to be able to give himself to another. My Yuuta was cowardly, but he was in the right. I was too stubborn for my Yuuta, and my Yuuta was far too disciplined. My Yuuta and I made no promises. Me and my Yuuta had no agreement. My Yuuta and I... are going separate ways. But I can see it in my Yuuta's eyes, that my Yuuta has lied. I see the way my Yuuta behaves, my Yuuta... you cannot hide stars under carpets. Perhaps, My Yuuta has felt regret, thinking he might be too quick in turning me down; fret not, my Yuuta, for I was too eager to speak of a feeling that had not fully formed. But, I once asked my Yuuta a question, possibly something self-serving, it was that should we live in a plato-perfect kind of world, would me and my Yuuta have a chance? My Yuuta spoke the words...

Me and my Yuuta... only his name wasn't Yuuta.

oh, to live in a plato-perfect world.

[willalove75]

Alcina's New Maid Pt. 10 Lady Dimitrescu x Reader

Summary: Lady Dimitrescu brings you in as one of her maids, at least, that's what you thought she brought you to the castle for.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI

Tags: flirty, fluff, slow burn, smut, angst.

Notes: Part 10! This one is a tad longgg but it's cute and fluffy so enjoy! Also: Should the notes be in cursive font? I felt like it took away from the content of the notes but let me know what you all think!

Click here for the rest of the series

Over the course of the next few weeks, a sense of peace was restored to castle Dimitrescu once again. Things between you and Alcina still weren't back to where they were before everything happened, but you've been happy with the progress the two of you have made. Alcina has respected your boundaries; taking things slow and giving you the time and space you need to regain your trust in her.

You still haven't had dinner with them, but you've been having lunch with them almost every day and breakfast a few days a week. On the mornings you decide to have breakfast in your chambers, Alcina personally delivers you your tray while you sleep. Around the third or fourth time she brought you your meal, you found a little handwritten note left on the tray.

The very first one you found made your heart swell a little. In her beautifully perfect cursive, she wrote:

I am still uncertain if I am worthy of your forgiveness, or worthy of a second chance, however I am forever grateful that you think otherwise. I will spend the rest of my eternal life proving my loyalty and devotion to you if I must. I give you my word, I will do everything in my power to make the changes needed to regain your trust. Thank you, for gifting me this second chance, for allowing me the opportunity to fix this mess I've created and to attempt to heal the wounds I've caused you. I will be indebted to your altruism until the end of time. Forever yours, Alcina

After reading the note you held it close to your chest, it was the most hope you've had about things changing for the better since you both agreed to try and reconcile.

Ever since then, a note was left on your tray each time Alcina delivered your breakfast. In some letters, she expressed her regret and how she resents herself for what she had done.

. . . I fear that no matter what I do, I will never earn your forgiveness. I am finding it near impossible to forgive myself for the pain I've caused you. I know for certain if I were in your shoes I would resent the person who hurt me so deeply for the rest of my life. I promise to never stop trying, in hopes that one day I will be truly worthy of your forgiveness. . . .

In others she talked about the hope she has that things will one day return back to where they were.

. . . In times of desperation I look to your eyes, when I feel that all hope is lost I find it within you. The hope has once again breathed new life into me and the spark is reignited in my soul. The fickle ember in my heart burns solely for you and if I must reach out for it every day with my bare hands to keep it alive, I will gladly accept the burns. . . .

In total you have nearly a dozen of them, keeping them in the drawer of your bedside table. Although the two of you haven't talked for as long as you did that night, knowing that Alcina takes the time every morning to confess her deepest thoughts and feelings, pouring her soul into each letter touches you. As if it's her way of apologizing every morning without bombarding or overwhelming you. She's able to express herself while still being able to give you the space and time you asked for. There are some mornings where you want to have breakfast with them, but decide against it just so you can get another note. On mornings when you wake up and feel the sadness or numbness lingering in your chest, the feelings subside after reading what she's poured out onto the page. They bring you a sense of comfort, making you feel seen and loved.

Early one morning you're in a deep sleep, you didn't even hear the door open or the clinking sounds from the tray as Alcina places it on your bedside table. You barely register the feeling of the mattress sink when Alcina gently sits on the edge of the bed.

"Y/n." Alcina says softly. She smiles as she watches you sleep, gently sweeping the hairs away from your face.

You finally begin to wake up when you feel a large hand rubbing small circles across your back.

"Y/n."

"Hmm?" You mumble, still mostly asleep.

"Come on, it's time to wake up."

Waking up, you roll over towards her and prop yourself up on your elbow.

"What time is it?"

"It's still early," Alcina says, gently brushing away the hair that had fallen onto your face. "but I have a surprise for you this morning."

"You do?" You squint at her as you adjust to the morning light, sitting up in bed you rub the sleep from your eyes. "What is it?"

Alcina chuckles.

"If I told you it wouldn't be much of a surprise now, would it?"

"Oh, right."

"I brought you breakfast. I was hoping I would be able to join you this morning, if you don't mind." She says, almost meekly, grabbing the tray and placing it on your bed between the two of you. Looking up at her, she's exuding a shyness you haven't seen before.

"I would love that." A smile crosses her face when she hears your response. You look down at the tray to see if there was a note, mostly out of habit and a look of disappointment must have flashed across your face for a moment.

"Is something wrong?" Alcina asks, her eyes worriedly scanning the tray.

Looking back up at her, you see the worry on her face.

"Oh, no. Sorry, I was just looking to see if there was a note, force of habit at this point."

Alcina visibly relaxes.

"Oh," The look on her face goes from relief to touched. "have you been reading them?"

"Yeah, every time you leave one. I really enjoy them." You say, looking away as a small blush crept across your cheeks.

"You do?"

"Yeah, of course."

Leaning over the side of your bed, you open up the drawer of the nightstand and pull out the small pile of letters.

"I keep every single one."

Alcina's eyes gloss over when she watches you open up the drawer and pull out every letter she's written you since she started leaving you notes in the morning. Carefully taking the stack from your hands, she looks down in disbelief.

"I can't believe you kept them all."

"Of course I did, what did you think I was doing with them?"

Looking away, a little ashamed, Alcina replies "I honestly thought you were throwing them away."

"I would never throw these away, they mean a lot to me Alcina."

"They do?" She asks as her golden eyes widen.

"Yeah, of course. Truthfully, now I look forward to each morning when you bring in my tray because I know there's going to be a note from you on it."

Alcina gently tucks a piece of hair behind your ear and rests her hand on your cheek for a moment. Neither of you have said "I love you" since that night, but you can see it in her eyes. Her hand leaves your cheek and you take the letters back from her, putting them back in the drawer and closing it.

"This smells amazing." You say, looking down at the tray of food.

"Go ahead, eat. I'm sure you're hungry."

The two of you enjoy a quiet meal together. This is probably the first time you've ever had a meal by yourselves, but you enjoyed it. As you ate you both lightly chatted, making each other laugh every so often. It was nice being able to enjoy each others company in private for a short while. You could feel the foundation of your new relationship solidifying as you ate breakfast together, and it felt good.

After you finished eating, Alcina placed the tray back on the nightstand.

"So when do I get this surprise?" You ask.

"Very soon, go and get yourself ready and come get me when you're done. I'll be in my chambers. Okay?"

"Okay. Anything in particular I have to wear or something?"

"No, dress as you wish. But we will be outside for a bit and it's supposed to be a beautiful day out." She says with a smile.

"Okay."

Alcina stands and grabs the tray and head towards the door. She opens it and turns back and gives you one last smile before ducking out and closing the door behind her. After she leaves you throw the covers off of you and hop in the shower.

Down the hall, Alcina sees a maid and gives her the tray to bring back down to the kitchen. She makes her way down the stairs and finds the girls in one of the sitting rooms.

"Is everything all set girls?"

"Yes mother!" Bela says.

"She's gonna freak out." Cassandra says.

"Oh I can't wait to see her face!" Daniela all but yells.

"Very well, thank you daughters. I'll be in my chambers, please see that everything is ready to go when we come back down."

"Yes mother!" The three girls say in unison.

Alcina heads back to her chambers and sits at her vanity, touching up her makeup and hair. After a little bit she hears a small knock on her door and takes a deep breath in and out before getting up and opening the door.

When she opens the door she's taken back when she sees you in the sundress she had bought you.

"Is this okay?" You ask, looking down at the dress.

"Yes," she breathes. "it's perfect." Her eyes meet yours and you get lost in her bright golden orbs for a few moments before you both snap out of it.

Alcina calls for the girls and Bela appears next to you.

"Is everything ready?" Alcina asks.

"Yes mother! Everything is ready for the both of you."

"Thank you my dear, we'll be down shortly."

Bela swarms off and she turns towards you.

"Are you ready for your surprise?"

"I think so!" You say with a smile.

You genuinely have no idea what she planned, you hope it's not an expensive gift or something extravagant, but you're still excited to see what it is.

Alcina leads you downstairs and towards the courtyard. Before she opens the doors she looks down at you with a big smile on her face, she looks excited and it makes your heart flutter.

"I know there's one thing that you've wanted since the day you came here, and I wanted to personally make sure it happened."

Alcina opens the doors and it takes a moment for your eyes to adjust to the light. When they finally adjust, you see the kids, all five of them, running around the courtyard with Daniela, Bela and Cassandra.

Freezing in place, you can't believe they're here, in the courtyard, playing and running around like they always do. Tears begin to fill your eyes and Alcina places her hand on your back, gently pushing you forward.

The fears that you had of never seeing them again vanish into thin air. As much as you didn't want to admit to it, there was a small part of you that was worried Alcina was lying about letting you see the kids again just to give you some piece of mind. Fearful that she never had any intentions of letting it happen. But here they are, right in front of you, and Alcina was the one who organized it and planned a surprise visit.

"Y/n!!!" You hear Ana yell.

All of the kids stop and look at you, in an instant they're running into your arms. Kneeling down on the ground, you do your best to wrap your arms around all of them as the tears fall from your eyes. Your heart feels so full it's about to burst.

"Oh, I missed you guys so much." You say softly, burying your face into them.

Daniela, Bela and even Cassandra look on with huge smiles on their faces. Alcina looks down at you, her heart swells from seeing you so happy. She hopes that this surprise conveys how much she cares for you.

One by one you give each child a hug and a kiss on their head. The boys quickly go back to the game they were playing as you finish saying hi to the rest of the kids.

You hug and kiss Crina, the second oldest of the three girls. After her you hug and kiss Ana, the oldest.

"How are you doing love?" You ask as you hold her in your arms.

"I'm okay."

"Yeah? Are they listening to you at all?"

"Barely." She says, rolling her eyes.

"Oh boy, I'm gonna have to have a talk with them then." You say with a laugh.

"Are you okay?" She asks, looking up at you with concern on her face.

"I am."

"You promise?"

"I promise kiddo, they've been really good to me here."

"Good." You give her one more hug and turn to the last of the kids, Elena.

You bend down again and outstretch your arms towards her and she jumps into your embrace, almost knocking you over.

"Woah," you say, balancing yourself. "hi my little angel."

Elena doesn't respond, instead you feel her starting to cry. You stand up with her in your arms and hold the back of her head.

"Oh, it's okay honey, it's okay. I'm here."

"I missed you so much." She cries into you. Just when you thought you were done crying, tears begin to fall again.

"I missed you so much too baby."

"When are you coming home?"

"Oh honey, I'm not sure. But I promise we're going to keep seeing each other, okay?"

She nods into you and you rub circles on her back, soothing her.

"Do you like it here more than at home? Is that why you won't come back?"

You feel your heart break a little, hating that Elena thinks you're staying away because you like being here more than you like being with them.

"No, not at all El. There's a lot of complicated reasons why I can't come home, but it's not because I like it here more, okay?"

"You promise?"

"I promise sweetie, but I want you to know, I think about you every single day."

"You do?" She asks, pulling back to look at you with tear stained cheeks.

You wipe away her tears and cup her little face.

"Yes, every morning when I wake up I think of each one of you, and I do the same thing every night before I go to sleep."

"I think of you every day too y/n."

You kiss her on the forehead and hold her tight and she squeezes you back. Looking up, you see Alcina sitting on one of the large benches across the courtyard, watching you with Elena with a soft smile on her face.

Only having seen you interact with the children once, and just for a very brief period of time, Alcina studies you with the girl in your arms. The very same girl being the reason the two of you even met in the first place. If she didn't stay back in the road and almost get trampled by the carriage, you never would have had to run in front of it and knock her out of the way. The carriage never would have halted and Alcina and the girls would have gone back to the castle and their lives would have continued on without ever having met you.

Although Alcina would never harm a child, she's grateful that little girl put herself in harms way that day. Because if she hadn't, the two of you never would have met and the empty space in Alcina's heart, the one she either didn't know was there or blatantly ignored for so long, would still be residing in her chest.

As she watches, she notices how naturally caring for these kids comes to you. Sure, it could be from years of practice, but something in your eyes, something in the way that you look at that little girl in your arms, says otherwise.

"You would make such a wonderful mother, draga mea." Alcina thinks to herself.

Your aunt walks up to the two of you and you smile at her.

"Hello y/n."

"Hi."

"How have you been? Have you been," she pauses for a moment and her eyes shift from Alcina back to you and lowers her voice. "treated well?"

You watch as Alcina's smile fades into a scowl when she hears your aunt, thanks to her supersonic hearing, and you have to hold back your chuckle.

"Yes, I have. I promise. They've treated me exceptionally well." You decide it's best not to mention the events that have occurred over the last couple of months.

"Well I'm glad to hear that. Are you one of her maids?"

"I was, but I don't do many of the maids chores anymore."

"Why is that?"

"I, uh, bonded really well with the girls-"

"The girls?"

"Yeah, the Lady's three daughters." You say, nodding to the three girls as they play with the kids.

"Oh right, they're, peculiar."

"They're good kids. But I got close to them, to all of them, including the Lady, really quickly. Within just a few weeks I was promoted to being her handmaid. Although I haven't been here long, they accepted me right away; they really made me feel like I'm part of their family." You look over at Alcina and you can tell even from this distance that her eyes glossed over a little as she listens.

"Family?" You aunt scoffs. Alcina's softened look hardens and her eyes narrow at her.

"Yes, their family. They have a mother and three daughters, they're a family."

"How can they be a family when they're mon-"

"Don't." You say, cutting her off. Alcina's body tenses with anger as she focuses on the two of you. "Do not say that. You don't know them." Anger begins to bubble inside of you, an instinct to want to protect them, to protect your family, begins to kick in.

"Surely you must know first hand of the horrors that-"

"I don't expect you to understand. But I will not let you talk about them like that. You don't know anything about them," You go to speak again but stop when you see a tall shadow loom over the both of you.

Alcina walks over, she has a smile on her face, she looks happy but you know her better than that.

"I do hope you're enjoying yourself and that you are finding Castle Dimitrescu to be a suitable home for your wonderful niece." She says, gently stroking your cheek. Alcina has a smile on her face, but you see a hint of murderous rage in her eyes begin to develop as she looks at your aunt.

A little frazzled and scared your aunt stutters for a moment.

"Oh, uh, yes, of course. It is incredibly beautiful here, t-thank you for opening your, h-home to us, and to her."

Staring down at your aunt, Alcina doesn't have to do much to intimidate or scare her. Her presence alone can be quite frightening. She begins to tremble lightly and you decide to change the subject.

"Is uncle here?" You ask your aunt.

"No-"

"My apologies draga mea, but a longstanding rule in Castle Dimitrescu is that no men are permitted to enter the premise. So that, manthing, was unable to attend."

You feel your heart skip a beat when she calls you "draga mea" and your aunt gives you a bit of a look despite her frazzled state. You know she said it mostly for appearances, but you didn't realize how much you missed hearing Alcina calling you by your pet names.

You're pulled out of your thoughts when Elena tugs on the shoulder of your dress to get your attention.

"What's up love?"

She cups her hands around you ear and whispers to you.

"She's very tall."

Unable to contain it, you let out a laugh and nod your head at the girl.

"Yes, yes she is." Looking up at Alcina, she has a smile on her face. Any trace of the murderous rage in her eyes is now gone.

Cupping her hand around your ear, she whispers to you again.

"Are you scared of her? I'm scared of her."

The amusement in Alcina's eyes disappears, fading into a look of sadness that she quickly masks. You feel your heart sink in your chest when you see her reaction to Elena's question.

"No, I'm not scared of her at all. I actually like her quite a lot. I know she's very tall, but she's not scary. Remember when we talked about how some people are different from others, but just because they look different, doesn't mean that they are different from you or I on the inside?" Elena nods her head. "This is a perfect example of that! See the Lady is very, very tall, so tall she has to bend down through doorways to get into rooms." Elena giggles and Alcina shoots you a playfully annoyed look. "But, besides that, she's not much different from you or I."

Elena whispers into your ear again.

"People in the village say she's really mean."

"You should never let someone else's opinion of a person influence your opinion of them. There were a lot of people in the village that said mean things about me, do you think any of them were true?"

Elena shakes her head "no."

"Exactly. So why don't I introduce you to her, so you can find out for yourself if she's as mean as the villagers say. How does that sound?"

Elena shakes her head "yes" and you turn her towards Alcina.

"Elena, I want you to meet my friend, Lady Dimitrescu. Lady Dimitrescu, meet my youngest cousin, Elena."

Alcina bends down so she's eye-level with the girl and gently holds out her hand.

"It is lovely to meet you Elena. Please, call me Alcina."

Elena looks at you, unsure of whether or not she should be afraid.

"It's okay." You say.

"There's no need to be afraid little one, I don't bite." Alcina says with a smile. You eyeballs almost pop out of your head when you hear her. Alcina's eyes meet yours, you see a mischievous yet playful look in them before looking back at Elena. Looking over at your aunt, she's lost all of the color in her face, she looks like a ghost.

Elena, who's none the wiser, puts her tiny hand into Alcina's. It's comical at how small it looks compared to hers. Alcina gently closes her fist around the girl and shakes her hand.

"Now say 'it's nice to meet you too, Alcina.'" You say, encouraging her.

"It's nice to meet you too, Alcina."

Elena looks at Alcina with wonder in her eyes after she lets go of her hand. With her fears slowly melting away, Elena observes the woman in front of her with curiosity.

"Elena! Y/n! Come play with us!" Crina yells from across the courtyard.

Elena begins to wiggle in your arms, you let her down and she runs over towards the rest of the kids. Alcina returns to her seat and your aunt sits on the other side of the courtyard, trying to put as much distance between the two of them as possible.

You join the kids as they play with the Dimitrescu girls. For the next few hours, all of you are running around, playing tag and other games. The entire time, Alcina and your aunt watch on.

It's been so long since you've had this much fun. Of course spending time with the Dimitrescu women was entertaining, but you missed running around and playing with the kids like this.

During a game of tag you're it, you go after Daniela and right before you tag her, she bursts into a swarm of flies and ends up behind you.

"No fair!" You laugh.

The kids, and your aunt, give questioning looks and the two of you brush it off as a fun magic trick to evade any more questions. The kids immediately buy it, although Ana might not have been totally convinced. Your aunt however, was not convinced at all.

Running up behind one of the boys as he runs away, you grab him around his waist and lift him into the air, spinning him around.

"Got you!" He cackles as you spin him, the laughter is like music to your ears.

Cassandra eventually gets bored and sits next to Alcina. Your aunt watches the two of them carefully. Alcina looks down at Cassandra as they talk, she brushes some of Cassandra's hair out of her face and looks lovingly at her daughter. Out of the corner of her eye, Alcina catches your aunt watching them. Glaring at your aunt, she wraps an arm around Cassandra and pulls her in close, as if she's protecting her and turns her attention back to her daughter.

Quickly looking away, your aunt is unsure of what to make of the interaction between the two. On one hand, she knows the rumors and the few first-hand accounts she's heard about how ruthless and horrific the four women could be. But on the other, the Lady of the castle just seems like a mother, caring for her daughters and, for whatever reason, her niece. She's still unsure of how such monsters can have a "family" but she begins to think about what you said to Elena earlier.

Zina walks out into the courtyard and announces that lunch is ready. You all head into the dining room, Alcina pulls out the chair next to hers and offers it to you and you gladly sit. Once all of the kids are seated, the maids begin assisting the children with making their plates and Bela, Cassandra and Daniela head into the kitchen.

"I expect you three to come out looking as clean as you do in this moment. Understand?" Alcina says to the girls.

"Yes mother." Bela says.

"Yeah, Dani." Cassandra says.

"Shut up Cass!" Daniela yells at her sister.

Alcina lets out a low growl and the three girls fall silent and head into the kitchen.

"Are your daughters not joining us?" Your aunt asks.

"No, they will not be. They will be taking their lunches in the kitchen. The girls have a, peculiar, appetite so it's best that they eat away from the children." She replies with a haunting smile.

Petrified once more, your aunt quietly eats her lunch as Alcina sips on her wine, pleased with herself.

After lunch is finished, Bela, Cassandra and Daniela enter back into the dining room, much to both yours and Alcina's surprise, clean. Daniela gives you all a brief tour of the castle, the kids are fascinated when they get to see your room, given it's nearly the size of the living room at their house. The tour comes to its conclusion at the library, of course, since it is Daniela's favorite room.

All of the kids pick out a small book, one of the boys picking up "Poems of Sappho" which you quickly take out of his hand as he pouts.

"Sorry bud, this isn't a book for kids."

Alcina walks over and plucks the book from your hand.

"I'll take this one." She says with a smirk, her voice smooth as velvet, and takes a seat on the couch near the fireplace. You sit next to her and Elena crawls into your lap while the rest of the kids sit around you while you read to them.

After a little while you notice that Alcina had stopped reading the book in her hand. With one long leg crossed over the other, she fiddles with the loose string on the armrest cover, listening to you read to the kids.

By the time you finished reading each book a few hours had passed, dinnertime is now right around the corner. Alcina goes to stand but looks down to find Elena's head resting on her leg, the rest of her body curled up in your lap, fast asleep. Looking over at Alcina, you notice she's looking down at something and you follow her eyeline to find Elena. You both look up at each other with smiles pulled across your faces.

Gently lifting Elena up, you pass her off to Daniela as your aunt begins to wrangle the kids, getting them ready to leave.

"I'll be out in a minute." You say to Bela as she leads everyone out towards the main hall.

The library door closes, leaving you and Alcina alone. She stays seated when you stand and you turn towards her, the both of you practically at eye-level. You wrap your arms around her neck and hug her, your action taking her by surprise a bit. She hesitates for a moment, but decides to wrap her arms around you, holding you tight.

Tears begin to well up in your eyes when you think about how much her surprise meant to you. You were so genuinely afraid that you would never see the kids again, that they would grow up thinking you abandoned them without a second thought and didn't care about them. Alcina knew your fears, and she promised that you would see them again, and she followed through with that promise. Her keeping it a surprise for you made it all the better.

When you were racking your brain trying to think of what the surprise could be, seeing the kids never once occurred to you. It was the best surprise of your life, and you are so grateful for her for doing it.

"I hope you liked your surprise." She says.

"I loved it." You say softly as a few tears escape. "Thank you."

Pulling away a bit, you look into Alcina's eyes and see hope, and love. She gently wipes away your tears, cupping your face with her hand.

"I can't tell you how much this means to me Alcina, really."

"I know this doesn't make up for everything, but I hope you know, I am trying."

"I know."

"I will do anything and everything to regain your trust."

"I know, and you are. This today, this meant everything to me. You heard my fears, you listened to the one thing I wanted more than anything and you made it happen without me having to ask you to. It doesn't make up for everything, but, this, the letters, it's exactly what I meant when I said I wanted you to put in effort to make things better. And you've been doing it, and it means so much to me. It really does."

As you look into each other's tear-filled eyes, you feel butterflies for the first time in a long time. Your eyes wander from hers, down to her lips and back up. A nervousness you're not accustomed to floods your body, like a teenager about to have their first kiss.

Your first kiss with Alcina was rough, passionate, on the heels of her teasing you for weeks. It led straight into your first of many long, glorious, nights of intense passion.

Right here, right now, the sexual tension is nonexistent. The only thing drawing her to you in this moment is your love for each other.

You watch as her eyes shift down to your lips and back up, you can tell she wants to make the move, but is hesitating, not wanting to overstep or make you uncomfortable.

Gazing into her eyes once more, you can feel them screaming "I love you" at you. Truthfully, you feel like your eyes are doing the same. With your heart feeling like it's about to burst, you tuck a strand of hair behind Alcina's ear and cup her face. Slowly, you begin to move in, you feel your heart beating out of your chest, you think you can feel hers pounding as well.

You both close your eyes as your lips gently meet. A jolt of electricity is sent through your body, as if you've finally been woken up after months of being asleep. Her soft, cool lips feel like home to you, a place you haven't been to in so long. A lump begins to form in your throat as you slowly kiss, you love her, so much. And you've missed her more than you ever could have imagined.

When your lips part you wrap your arms around her and hold her tight again as tears fall. Alcina holds you tight and buries her face into your neck.

"I love you, draga mea." She says softly.

"I love you too Alcina."

The two of you were so enthralled with one another, neither of you noticed your aunt had come back into the library, witnessing most of your tender moment together. Quickly, she slips out before either of you notice.

Pulling back a little bit, Alcina brings her hand to your face once more, studying you as if she's looking at a work of art. You gently nuzzle into her hand and close your eyes, letting yourself relax into her touch. It's almost a relief knowing that you'll have her back soon enough. Although you know the road the two of you have ahead is a rocky one, deep down you know that if you both keep putting in the effort you have been, the two of you can overcome anything together.

[shytastemakerthing]

hii!!

congrats on 300 :-D

i suggest caramel with mango and strawberry boba for Riddle and Jade!

Taking Riddle out for a night ride to have a picnic and look at the stars!

Going overnight camping with Jade to a mountain and looking at the stars while cuddling!

have a nice day!!

Thank you so much! I never really thought that this little blog would actually get to 300 followers but I am glad that it did! In the mean time, I hope that you enjoy your request!

Requests: Romantic date night with Riddle and Jade (separate)

So first things first, you were only able to actually get this man on a late night drive that this was happening during perhaps spring or summer break

But really, he was just happy to be able to spend this time with you

He never really saw himself getting into a relationship with anyone, having been too focused on his academics before and then growing up the way that he did

But you were much like his missing other half that he now had

Everything was all set

You were driving, wanting to treat him to this

He had packed several snacks for you both to have, including strawberry tarts, a good date is never complete without one

You had the blankets

And now, you had arrived to your destination

If someone had told Riddle earlier in the school year that he would have found his other half, and they would partake in such activities, he would have laughed and then collared them for making such a statement, and yet, here he was.

Watching you set up the blanket, he brought over the basket with snacks before settling down next to you with perhaps the warmest expression anyone had ever seen him have.

"I would say that we chose the perfect night for this. Not a cloud in the sky, not too hot and not too cold..."

Your voice snapped him out of his daze before a soft smile came to his face, moving to help you finish setting everything up.

"As expected. After all, a lot of planning goes into such activities, but I knew that we would find a way to make it work."

After snacks, he found himself laying next to you, staring up at the stars, well, you were, Riddle was too busy watching you.

After all, the only star that he needed in his life, was you.

Look, when you first mentioned going camping in the mountains with Jade, it was possibly the first time you have ever seen so much emotion swirling in his eyes, the most genuine and excited smile rising to his face

After all, he had been wanting such a trip for the longest time!

And here you are coming to him, about such a trip, just the two of you, in the mountains

Okay, he may have gone just a tad overboard with the packing, but he was excited

Not even Floyd and Azul had ever seen him like this before

Such a genuine happiness that was radiating from the eel, and you were the cause and you were certain that you had just unleashed something monstrous

Jade had honestly never felt an excitement such as this coursing through his veins. Yes, he loved hiking and going into the mountains, but it was so much more special now. Because you were with him, this time.

After the long hike to make it to the campsite, pitching up the tent, getting a fire going, and even rambling to you about whatever it was that he was seeing while you both were out, he couldn't help but feel the slightest bit flustered under your admiring gaze, watching him as if he were the one that hung the stars in the sky that you both would see once the sun had set.

"You're adorable when you ramble like this, y'know. I could listen to you talk for hours."

Your words were the arrow to the heart for this eel. How you managed to wiggle your way in and make yourself at home, he may never know, but he is eternally grateful that you did.

Jade could only chuckle and clear his throat.

"Well, it is rather nice to have someone listening when I do. I know the topics do tend to bore some, and cause discomfort in others." Your smile would be the death of him one day, he was certain of it.

What else was he supposed to think, when you both were laying beneath the stars, hand in hand, finding himself curling into your touch?

There was no doubt that date nights such a s this one would be happening much more often.

Thank you so much for your request! Have a wonderful day/night!