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How to Get to Know Your Characters
@lourek asked:
Okay so it’s me again. I have a problem, cuz I really don’t know my characters?? And I’d like to get to know them. I know this might sound stupid, but do you have a masterpost about best ways to get to know your own characters or would you be willing to make one? I’ve noticed that all those “answer these questions” things are pretty useful. Thank you, I still worship you, good bye
Not a stupid question at all! This is one of the most challenging and important parts of becoming a writer. Getting to know someone takes time and effort, and characters are no exception.
So without further ado, here are my go-to techniques for getting to know a character:
1. Ask yourself these basic questions:
How old are they mentally/spiritually? Do they have an old soul, or are they a perpetual kid at heart? Does their personality not coincide with their physical age?
What do they care about most in the world? What would they die for?
What are their interests? What books, movies, and shows do they read/watch religiously? What do they geek out over?
What’s the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to them? Have they told anyone? If so, who?
On that note, what is one secret they’ve never told anyone?
What was their childhood like? Was it happy? Tragic? Why or why not?
How many relationships do they have? How have they affected them?
What is their greatest fear?
What was the best thing that ever happened to them?
What was the worst thing that ever happened to them?
If you had to describe the character in one word, what is the first that comes to mind?
2. Once that’s done, get nosy.
Empty their pockets, backpack, or purse. Make a list of everything inside. What do they always take with them? Why?
Describe their bedroom. Is it neat, or messy? Is it minimalist? Cluttered? Are they neat, or messy by nature? Is there any artwork on the wall, any posters? Are there lots of books? A TV? Stuffed animals? Be as detailed as you want to be, and think about why your character has these things and what they say about them.
If they have one, describe their car. What kind of car do they drive? How does it correlate with their personality, their career? Do they keep any photos of loved ones? Are there lots of fast food containers?
We’ve already touched on this briefly, but think about their books. Write down at least ten titles on their shelf. Think about what genres they like, what authors, and why they might enjoy them.
What kind of movie genres do they like? What kind of TV shows? Why do they enjoy them? Do they have any guilty pleasures that they’d rather anyone not know about?
Take a look inside their closet. What kind of clothes do they wear? What’s their style? Can they afford the clothes they’d actually like to wear? Are they preppy? Is their closet organized, or is it a hot mess?
3. Get to know the family.
What are their parents like? Do they have a good relationship? Are they friends? Do they just plain suck? If so, why?
If they don’t have a good relationship with their parents, are there any parental figures that their close with? What are they like?
Do they have any siblings? Are they close? Are they protective of them, or vice versa?
What is their nationality? Do they have strong ties to their heritage, or could they care less?
What about their extended family? Do they have any weird relatives? (In my opinion, every character should have at least one weird relative. They are a lot of fun to write.)
4. Fill in the details.
Brainstorm random questions about your characters, their likes, dislikes, et cetera. Here are examples:
What is their favorite food?
Their favorite beverage?
Their favorite movie?
Their favorite book?
Their favorite TV show?
What is their dream job?
Do they keep a journal?
Do they have good handwriting, or is it illegible from excessive note-taking?
What’s their favorite color?
What’’s their favorite kind of weather? Do they like sunny days, or rainy ones?
Can they draw? Are they artistic in general?
What kind of romantic/sexual partner do they like (if they’re interested in that sort of thing at all)? Do they have a ‘type?’
What would their ideal date be (even just with friends)? Do they like generic dinner and movie-type stuff, or do they favor museums and plays?
What would their ideal afternoon look like?
Do they prefer TV or books?
Are they introverted or extroverted? Do they hate social gatherings, or thrive on them? Do they relish in alone time?
Coffee or tea?
Cats or dogs?
Do they eat breakfast? If so, what?
What’s their opinion on pineapple pizza?
5. Fill out some character sheets.
Simple character sheets are a great way to fill in the gaps and get to know your character. Though there are quite a few floating around on my favorite blogs, but here are a few examples:
There’s a “lazy person’s” character sheet here.
There’s a “how to create a memorable character” sheet here.
And there’s a “no effort” character sheet here.
Of course, the only way to truly get to know your character is to write about them. You never know how they’ll develop until you get going, and once you do, they’ll never cease to surprise you. Characters truly do gain lives of their own, so don’t give up and keep writing.
And in the meantime, I hope this helps! <3
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Hello, all!
Winchester Source is looking for some new members. The reason why is because our blog has become not-so-active and I would like to change that. I [the owner] haven’t made edits/gifs in ages because my life has been so loaded with things that are more important than Tumblr (like college) so I understand busy schedules.
What we’re looking for
People who can make quality edits/gifs.
People who can be somewhat active (not necessarily daily because I don’t even do that, but maybe weekly?) in reblogging posts at the very least.
People who understand and follow the tagging system (because tbh it bothers me when people don’t follow the tagging system… it’s there for a reason and I don’t want to continue fixing your shit).
No advertising of your personal life (ex. “I need more followers on my personal! Follow if you love Supernatural and cats!” - by the way, I made this up, not using anyone as an example).
Rules
If accepted, please follow these simple rules:
Follow the tagging system (linked above).
Please post only Sam and Dean related posts because that is what our blog is about.
No advertising.
Post occasionally, whether reblogs or your own edits.
Remember, just because you apply doesn’t mean you’ll be accepted. I am looking for at least five members, possibly more. If accepted, I will need your email address so I can add you. If you’re not comfortable with me having your email address, then don’t apply because that is the only way to add people to the blog. I’ve had this problem in the past and I decided to be upfront about it now. Feel free to share this post around.
Any questions, shoot me an ask on this blog or on my personal.
Thank you, and good luck!
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The Dos and Don’ts of Beginning a Novel: An Illustrated Guide
I’ve had a lot of asks lately for how to begin a book (or how not to), so here’s a post on my general rules of thumb for story openers and first chapters!
Please note, these are incredibly broad generalizations; if you think an opener is right for you, and your beta readers like it, there’s a good chance it’s A-OK. When it comes to writing, one size does not fit all. (Also note that this is for serious writers who are interested in improving their craft and/or profession publication, so kindly refrain from the obligatory handful of comments saying “umm, screw this, write however you want!!”)
So without further ado, let’s jump into it!
Don’t:
1. Open with a dream.
“Just when Mary Sue was sure she’d disappear down the gullet of the monstrous, winged pig, she woke up bathed in sweat in her own bedroom.”
What? So that entire winged pig confrontation took place in a dream and amounts to nothing? I feel so cheated!
Okay, not too many people open their novels with monstrous swine, but you get the idea: false openings of any kind tend to make the reader feel as though you’ve wasted their time, and don’t usually jump into more meaty action of the story quickly enough. It makes your opening feel lethargic and can leave your audience yawning.
Speaking of…
2. Open with a character waking up.
This feels familiar to most of us, but unless your character is waking up to a zombie attack or an alien invasion, it’s generally a pretty easy recipe to get your story to drag.
No one picks a book to hear how your character brushes their teeth in the morning or what they’d like to have for dinner. As a general rule of thumb, we read to explore things we wouldn’t otherwise get to experience. And cussing out the alarm clock is not one of them.
Granted, there are exceptions if your writing is exceptionally engaging, but in most cases it just sets a slow pace that will bore you and your reader to death and probably cause you to lose interest in your book within the first ten pages.
3. Bombard with exposition.
Literary characters aren’t DeviantArt OCs. And the best way to convey a character is not, in my experience, to devote the first ten pages to describing their physical appearance, personality, and backstory. Develop your characters, and make sure their fully fleshed out – my tips on how to do so here – but you don’t need to dump all that on the reader before they have any reason to care about them. Let the reader get to know the character gradually, learn about them, and fall in love with them as they would a person: a little bit at a time.
This is iffy when world building is involved, but even then it works best when the delivery feels organic and in tune with the book’s overall tone. Think the opening of the Hobbit or Good Omens.
4. Take yourself too seriously.
Your opener (and your novel in general) doesn’t need to be intellectually pretentious, nor is intellectual pretense the hallmark of good literature. Good literature is, generally speaking, engaging, well-written, and enjoyable. That’s it.
So don’t concern yourself with creating a poetic masterpiece of an opening line/first chapter. Just make one that’s – you guessed it – engaging, well-written, and enjoyable.
5. Be unintentionally hilarious.
Utilizing humor in your opening line is awesome, but check yourself to make sure your readers aren’t laughing for all the wrong reasons (this is another reason why betas are important.)
These examples of the worst opening lines in published literature will show you what I mean – and possibly serve as a pleasant confidence booster as well:
“As the dark and mysterious stranger approached, Angela bit her lip anxiously, hoping with every nerve, cell, and fiber of her being that this would be the one man who would understand – who would take her away from all this – and who would not just squeeze her boob and make a loud honking noise, as all the others had.”
– Ali Kawashima
“She sipped her latte gracefully, unaware of the milk foam droplets building on her mustache, which was not the peachy-fine baby fuzz that Nordic girls might have, but a really dense, dark, hirsute lip-lining row of fur common to southern Mediterranean ladies nearing menopause, and winked at the obviously charmed Spaniard at the next table.”
– Jeanne Villa
“As I gardened, gazing towards the autumnal sky, I longed to run my finger through the trail of mucus left by a single speckled slug – innocuously thrusting past my rhododendrons – and in feeling that warm slime, be swept back to planet Alderon, back into the tentacles of the alien who loved me.”
– Mary E. Patrick
“Before they met, his heart was a frozen block of ice, scarred by the skate blades of broken relationships, then she came along and like a beautiful Zamboni flooded his heart with warmth, scraped away the ugly slushy bits, and dumped them in the empty parking lot of his soul.”
– Howie McClennon
If these can get published, so can you.
Do:
1. You know that one really interesting scene you’re itching to write? Start with that.
Momentum is an important thing in storytelling. If you set a fast, infectious beat, you and your reader will be itching to dance along with it.
Similarly, slow, drowsy openers tend to lead to slow, drowsy stories that will put you both to sleep.
I see a lot of posts joking about “that awkward moment when you sit down to write but don’t know how to get to that one scene you actually wanted to write about.” Write that scene! If it’s at all possible, start off with it. If not, there are still ways you can build your story around the scenes you actually want to write.
Keep in mind: if you’re bored, your reader will almost certainly be bored as well. So write what you want to write. Write what makes you excited. Don’t hold off until later, when it “really gets good.” Odds are, the reader will not wait around that long, and you’re way more likely to become disillusioned with your story and quit. If a scene is dragging, cut it out. Burn bridges, find a way around. Live, dammit.
2. Engage the reader.
There are several ways to go about this. You can use wit and levity, you can present a question, and you can immerse the reader into the world you’ve created. Just remember to do so with subtlety, and don’t try too hard; believe me, it shows.
Here are some of my personal favorite examples of engaging opening lines:
“In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.“
– Douglas Adams, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe.
“It was the day my grandmother exploded.”
– Iain Banks, Crow Road.
“A white Pomeranian named Fluffy flew out of the a fifth-floor window in Panna, which was a grand-new building with the painter’s scaffolding still around it. Fluffy screamed.”
– Vikram Chandra, Sacred Games.
See what I’m saying? They pull you in and do not let go.
3. Introduce us to a main character (but do it right.)
“Shadow had done three years in prison. He was big enough and looked don’t-fuck-with-me enough that his biggest problem was killing time. So he kept himself in shape, and taught himself coin tricks, and thought a lot about how much he loved his wife.”
– Neil Gaiman, American Gods.
This is one of my favorite literary openings of all time, because right off the bat we know almost everything we need to know about Shadow’s character (i.e. that he’s rugged, pragmatic, and loving.)
Also note that it doesn’t tell us everything about Shadow: it presents questions that make us want to read more. How did Shadow get into prison? When will he get out? Will he reunite with his wife? There’s also more details about Shadow slowly sprinkled in throughout the book, about his past, personality, and physical appearance. This makes him feel more real and rounded as a character, and doesn’t pull the reader out of the story.
Obviously, I’m not saying you should rip off American Gods. You don’t even need to include a hooker eating a guy with her cooch if you don’t want to.
But this, and other successful openers, will give you just enough information about the main character to get the story started; rarely any good comes from infodumping, and allowing your reader to get to know your character gradually will make them feel more real.
4. Learn from the greats.
My list of my favorite opening lines (and why I love them) is right here.
5. Keep moving.
The toughest part of being a writer is that it’s a rare and glorious occasion when you’re actually satisfied with something you write. And to add another layer of complication, what you like best probably won’t be what your readers will like best.
If you refuse to keep moving until you have the perfect first chapter, you will never write anything beyond your first chapter.
Set a plan, and stick to it: having a daily/weekly word or page goal can be extremely helpful, especially when you’re starting out. Plotting is a lifesaver (some of my favorite posts on how to do so here, here, and here.)
Keep writing, keep moving, and rewrite later. If you stay in one place for too long, you’ll never keep going.
Best of luck, and happy writing. <3
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True Love Knows No Fences. (Source: http://ift.tt/2jRNztn)
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Friends help you move, real friends help you move bodies!
I wrote this 17 years ago. Is the story worth rewriting?
Part One The Gate-room, SGC
"Oh, now you've done it! I can't believe you just zatted Senator Kinsey!" Jack quickly hid the zat-gun behind his back, "Hey, I didn't mean to! How was I supposed to know he'd walk through the door just then... besides, he deserved it! And he probably won't know what hit him anyway." Sam was kneeling next to the unconscious man lying on his back on the Gate-room floor, not very gently slapping his face. "Sir, can you hear me?"
There was no reply and she got up and pointed at her CO. "Well, playing around like that with a zat-gun is like begging for trouble! Geez, Jack. He'll have us deported to P4S-839, or some equally disgusting place, the minute he wakes up!" "How about I just hit him again - twice?" "Jack!" "Alright, alright - but it WAS an accident!" She shook her head. "Are you going to call the infirmary, or should I?" He walked over to the phone on the wall, put the weapon in one of his numerous pockets and dialed the infirmary. The man on the floor stirred and groaned, and Sam kneeled down beside him again. "Are you all right, Sir?" "Major Carter? What the Hell just happened?" The senator rolled over and tried to sit up, but ended up flat on his stomach instead. "Ouch." "I'm afraid you were ahem... um... hit by the electrical charge of one Goa'uld weapon called a zat'nik'tel, Sir. You should feel better in a few moments." "Someone from the infirmary should be here any second now," Jack shot in. Kinsey stared grimly at the colonel. "This was your doing, no doubt... It's exactly what I'd expect from you." Jack took a step back and put his hands up in front of him, as to protect himself from the wrath of his victim. "It was an accident, Senator. I swear!" The doors opened and Dr. Fraiser came through, followed by two men carrying a stretcher. She studied the scene in front of her for a couple of seconds before turning her attention to Kinsey, who finally managed to get up on his feet. Not very gracefully, but at least he was vertical. She raised one eyebrow, and for a second she reminded Jack of Teal'c. "What happened here, Colonel?" --- Ten minutes later, in Gen. Hammond's office "You did what?!?" The general stood up so quickly his chair rolled back three feet before it hit the wall and bounced back. "I kinda zatted Senator Kinsey... It WAS an accident!" Jack was standing in front of the general's desk, hoping that talking to his CO before Kinsey got to him would, at least to some degree, serve as damage control. "You zatted Senator Kinsey..." Hammond echoed, then his eyes widened and he asked, terror in his voice, "...how many times?" Jack cringed, "Oh, just once. He'll be just fine. He's in the infirmary now with Dr. Fraiser and Carter, no doubt planning my court-martial to the last detail." "Then I suggest you get back there and do some serious groveling before he decides to send your ass to P4S-839" with no GDO. Or before I send you there myself." "Yes, Sir." Jack grimaced and bolted for the door. "Colonel..." Jack stopped half way through the room. "Dang it!" he thought, "I almost made it." He turned around slowly. "Yes, Sir...?" "On second thought I'll come with you, Colonel. I have a few ideas I'd like to share with the senator." --- Part two The SGC infirmary Dr. Fraiser had just explained, very patiently, for the n'th time, to the still stunned, and extremely noisy senator, that he would recover completely from the shock, and that she had never heard of anyone dying from a single blast. She was about ready to give him a mild sedative just to shut him up (or perhaps a not so mild laxative to get rid of him instead - ah, decisions, decisions...), when O'Neill and Hammond entered the room. The look on Hammond's face was quite easy to decipher, and Jack looked like he'd been lead by his ear from the general's office. "Poor Jack," she thought. "Why didn't he just zat the guy a couple more times... I'd have been home with Cassandra by now!" She sighed and began walking towards them, "General, Colonel... I take it you're here to see the senator?" "How is he?" The general's expression changed from annoyed to concerned. "Oh, he's fine. There"s nothing wrong with him... physically." she threw a fierce glance in the direction of her only patient. Then she smiled, "In fact, I was just about to release him." "Thank you, Dr. Fraiser." Hammond nodded, his relief obvious. Then he turned to Jack; "Well, Colonel?" Jack raised his hands, "I know" "Get groveling". Don't worry, I'll grovel, I'll beg, I'll even kiss and make up if that's what he wants." The Doc raised her eyebrow again and Jack had another vision of Teal'c. "Sweet. If I didn't know better I'd say it was contagious." He walked across the room, pulled up a chair, and sat down next to the senator, who was none too happy to see him... "Senator." "Colonel." "Listen, it really WAS an accident! I had no idea you were entering through that door, and I really didn't mean for the zat to go off..." The senator waved him off, "Of course you didn't. Don't worry about it. Accidents do happen, and according to the good doctor, I"ll be just fine." The speech was followed by a broad smile that made Kinsey's dentures slip. With a smacking sound he sucked them back in place. Jack just sat there staring at him, mouth still open. He slowly raised one eyebrow, Teal'c style. He felt a sudden urge to ask the senator who he was and what he'd done with Kinsey, but managed to close his mouth before the words came out. He cleared his throat. "Are you sure about this, Sir?" "Absolutely. Like I said, don't worry about it." "Well, thank you, Sir." Jack couldn't have been more surprised if Sam had jumped up from the nearest bedpan, wearing something out of Anise's closet and doing the Snoopy-dance on the senator's bed. "I suppose you need to rest. I'll leave you alone now... and again, I apologize..." He got up, put the chair back where he found it and returned to where Hammond and Dr. Fraiser were waiting. The general prompted him, "How did it go, Colonel?" "Oh, I apologized, he accepted. No problem, General." Hammond stared blankly at the colonel, before slowly raising one eyebrow. "Oh my God. It IS spreading!" Jack thought. "I better talk to the senator myself!" Hammond said and started walking towards the bed where Kinsey now had turned his back to them. They could hear a soft snoring sound. "Um... He's resting, Sir." The general turned to Janet. "Can you keep him here till morning? I'd really like to talk to him before he leaves." "Yes, Sir. My shift was over two hours ago, but I'll let the night nurse know you want to see the patient before he's released." "Thank you, Doctor." Hammond turned around and left the infirmary. Jack followed two steps behind, still wondering about the personality change the senator seemed to have undergone since their last encounter. "Perhaps Janet slipped and screwed up his medication? Or maybe the zat could have affected the metal plate in his head?" He shook his head. At least he didn't end up with a one-way ticket to the universe's largest garbage dump... --- Twenty minutes later Dr. Fraiser had left the night nurse in charge of the infirmary, and was on her way home. The night nurse was in the linen closet, entertaining the new, cute lieutenant. Jack was in his bunk, on top of the covers, fully dressed and sound asleep. And, Senator Kinsey was in his hospital bed, very much awake, and reading a book by the light of his glowing eyes. --- Part three The next morning, Daniel's office "You must be kidding me!" Daniel laughed. "You zatted Senator Kinsey? Seriously?" He removed his glasses and dried tears of laughter from his eyes. "I don't believe you! If you really had zatted the senator you'd be on P4S-839 now, building your new home out of cardboard boxes and empty cans." his voice trailed off. "Oh my God! How many times did you hit him?" "Just once! He's fine. And that's what I thought too..." Jack nodded. "Listen Daniel, something is wrong. Really wrong. I just can't put my finger on it." "There is a problem?" Teal'c came through the door, grabbed the TV Guide from Daniel's desk and let himself fall into the dusty armchair next to the wooden table thingy that was a gift from one of the kids on Abydos. "Oh no! That termite-ridden thing is still here? Half the base must be infested by those hungry critters by now." Jack rolled his eyes and sighed silently. "Well?" Teal'c tried again. "Well what?" "Is there a problem?" Teal'c repeated. Daniel explained; "Jack zatted senator Kinsey last night." Then he cracked up again. Teal'c raised one eyebrow and stared at Jack. "You fired a zat'nik'tel at the senator? How many times?" "Just once. Why does everyone keep asking me that? And it was an accident!" "Of course, O'Neill. You would never purposely have subjected the senator to such excruciating pain..." In the background Daniel let out another loud burst of laughter. Teal'c continued. "How did this accident happen, O'Neill"" "Carter and I were target practicing in the Gate room..." Daniel stopped laughing and he and Teal'c simultaneously raised their right eyebrows. "Scary!" Jack thought. "I have to talk to Janet about this!" "We were shooting at those dang grasshoppers the two of you brought back from EMT-911 last week, all right!?!" "You use zat-guns for that?" Daniel asked unbelievingly. "Saves us the trouble of sweeping them up afterwards..." Jack explained. "Oh..." "I see..." "Anyway, I guess I got a little too excited, and when the doors suddenly opened and the senator walked in the zat-gun sort of just went off." "Right." "These things are known to happen, O'Neill." Jack wanted to strangle them both and spent a few seconds considering his options. Knowing the chance of escape was too slim for comfort he decided to get his revenge at a later time. "Seriously. I'm not kidding, guys! Something is terribly wrong here." He continued to explain what had happened in the infirmary. Daniel finally quit laughing and sat down behind his desk. "You're right, Jack. It's not like Kinsey to forgive someone for something like that. Especially not you." Jack leaned against the wall and let himself slide down until he was sitting on his heels. He closed his eyes and let his head back against the wall. "I know." His eyes opened again and he looked at his friends. "At first I thought it was the shock, but we've never seen that happen before. And then I thought perhaps Dr. Fraiser had put him on some weird medication or something... and then I thought he might have been taken over by a Goa'uld, but Carter touched him in the Gate-room, and she didn't sense anything." Teal'c offered dryly; "I stopped by the infirmary before coming here, and if that single patient in the back of the room is the senator, then Samantha Carter wouldn't have sensed it if he'd been taken over by Apophis himself." He explained; "That after-shave he is wearing kills all of ones senses. I could smell it in the hallway long before I reached the infirmary. And the door was closed." Daniel, who had been removing his shoes and socks, dug in his desk drawer and finally came up with a nail clipper... "Where would the senator have encountered a Goa'uld?" Jack and Teal'c watched in silence as Daniel placed one foot on his desk and turned his attention back to his toenails. Soon crescent-shaped nail clippings were flying through the air. Jack swallowed. "Let's finish this conversation later," he said and got up. "I need some fresh air." Teal'c beat him through the door by almost two seconds. --- Part four
The SGC infirmary When Dr. Janet Fraiser arrived at the infirmary later that morning the night nurse appeared to have gone AWOL. Luckily the only patient, the senator, was still asleep and seemed to be in good shape. After checking the linen closet for sleeping beauties, Janet reported her nurse missing and turned on her computer. Soon she was lost in the fantasy world of "Fallout", her new computer game. "Weird," she thought. "That mayor, Killian, reminds me of someone I know, I just can't place him... Oh well, it'll come to me." At the same time SG-1 reported to general Hammond in his office, where they gathered around the conference table. Hammond had spent several sleepless hours wondering why Kinsey had let Jack off the hook so easily, and Jack had little trouble convincing him it would be a good idea to let Sam do a "Goa'uld-check" on the good senator. "I highly doubt the senator could have been taken over by a Goa'uld, Colonel. As far as I know he has never been close enough to one for that to be possible." "I know that, Sir. But since we can't be sure Mayborne never introduced him to one, I still think it would be the wise thing to do. Besides, I'm sure that man has been places and done stuff we don't even want to hear about." Jack suddenly had a vision of Kinsey as the President of the United States, addressing the people from a huge hanging screen, speaking with a Goa'uld voice... He shuddered. "Yeah, like THAT would ever happen! Doh!" "Major Carter?" Hammond looked at Sam who had been unusually quiet. "I agree, Sir. With that amount of Old-Spice after-shave he was wearing when I checked his pulse yesterday I wouldn't have noticed if Apophis himself had moved to a new apartment." "This is the case, General Hammond." Teal'c added. The general nodded. "Well, it can't hurt to make sure. Let's go see Dr. Fraiser." --- Dr. Fraiser had been playing for almost an hour when the senator woke up, got out of bed and went to the bathroom. She saved the game and switched the computer off. Seconds later SG-1 arrived accompanied by General Hammond. Jack immediately noticed the empty bed and asked her where the senator was. Janet frowned. "He's in the bathroom. He just woke up a few minutes ago." She nodded towards the door, and now they recognized the sound of the shower running in there. "Teal'c..." The Jaffa needed no further instructions. He walked across the room and took position just outside the bathroom door. Jack looked at Janet, expecting her to raise one eyebrow, but she raised them both. "What's going on, Colonel?" It was Hammond who answered. "I'm afraid we're not absolutely sure the senator is just the senator, doctor, so we're going to let Major Carter do a check on him. It's really just a precaution, since there really is no way we can think of that he could have come in contact with a Goa'uld." "Unless of course he"s been one from the very beginning..." Daniel muttered to himself. Five minutes later the shower was turned off, and another two minutes after that the senator exited the bathroom. He was drying his hair and did not watch his step. Suddenly he found himself sprawling on the floor after tripping over Teal'c"s staff-weapon. "What on Earth is going on here?" He looked up and discovered Jack. "Oh, it's you... I should have known you'd try your best to have me end up on a stretcher - again." "Are you hurt, Sir?" Janet was trying to help Kinsey stand up, but he brushed her off and completed the task alone. "I'm fine. So, General, what's going on?" Hammond led the senator to his bed. "Oh, it's just a routine check. We want to make sure you haven't been infected by any microscopic aliens during your stay here." Kinsey raised one eyebrow and just stared at Hammond as if he thought the general hade gone nuts. Reaching out for his toiletries he knocked the small bag over, and a silver ball, just a little smaller than a baseball fell out of it and rolled under the bed. "What's that?" Kinsey asked. "It's not yours?" Jack had already identified the ball and was now half way under the bed to get it. All one could see of him was his butt. Sam and Janet simultaneously raised their right eyebrows... "Mmmm... looks like the colonel has been working out." He got hold of the ball, backed out and stood up. "Geez. What's wrong with the major and Doc? They look like they're" drooling!" He shook his head and turned his attention back to Kinsey. "This, Senator..." he held the ball up "...is a Goa'uld cell phone, also known as a long range communication device. What I'd really like to know is why it came rolling out from your toilet-bag?" The senator stared blankly at him. "I've never seen it before!" General Hammond interrupted the staring contest. "Well Senator, I'm afraid you'll have to stay here on base until we get to the bottom of this." then he turned to Sam. "Major. I guess now is a good time to do your thing. Let's find out if the senator is clean." The senator snorted. "I damn well should be. I just got out of the shower." She walked up to them and raised one hand to put it on Kinsey's chest. Before she could get that far his eyes began to glow, he grabbed her around the neck, and the next second she found herself being used as a shield between the unknown Goa'uld and her friends who all seemed to have frozen in their positions. Finally Hammond sounded the alarm and called for security. --- Part five Hammond, Doc. Fraiser and the three male members of SG-1 could only watch as the Goa'uld backed away from the bed, still holding Sam in front of him as a human shield. When he had his back to the wall he picked up a scalpel that had been left on top of a defibrillator, and pressed the razor sharp blade against Sam's throat. "Tau'ri." The Goa'uld spitted. "You think you are so smart. You are nothing but slaves! Kneel before your God!" "For crying out loud!" Jack groaned. "How did I know he was gonna say that" "They always say that." Daniel replied dryly. "So, who are you?" "I am Macarena. Now, kneel before your God!!!" The Earthlings exchanged puzzled glances, and Jack turned around and mimed to Daniel; "Macarena!?!", but Teal'c didn't even raise an eyebrow. "Macarena? I have never heard of a Goa'uld by that name." "You will learn to fear it, shol'va! But, I did go by a different name. I changed it only because of a chant that I have heard many times. One that seems to have become stuck in my head." Now Teal"c raised his eyebrow, but the other people in the room nodded in understanding. Suddenly there was a lot of noise coming from the hall and forty-five soldiers came running into the infirmary, armed to their teeth. They took their positions and aimed their nice and shiny MP-90's at the Goa'uld and his hostage. "Don't shoot!" Jack and Hammond shouted, and waved their hands in the air. "Tau'ri, this is your last chance. I am not saying it again! Kneel before your God or suffer the consequences!" Sam croaked; "Hey, I'll kneel. Just let go of my neck, will you." Jack turned and faced his CO. "You know, General, there is one thing I have learned from our battles with the Goa'uld... When you have the chance to take them out, DO IT! Don't wait, don't try to small talk with them, and don't bother pumping them for information. Just kill them!" Every head in the room turned to look at the colonel. Hammond raised one eyebrow. "May I remind you, Colonel, that this particular Goa'uld is using a member of your team as a shield and is ready to slit her throat..." Jack shrugged. "Oh, that... Yes, I'm aware of that." He met Sam's eyes and now it was her turn to raise an eyebrow. "Damn you, Jack! You better not be thinking what I think you're thinking!" He gave her a glimpse of a smile, then he said, with no detectable sorrow in his voice; "I'm sorry, Carter!" "Oh my God!" Sam closed her eyes. "I'm gonna kill you for this! ...Sir." Suddenly Jack produced a zat-gun from one of his numerous pockets. He aimed it at the Goa'uld and it's hostage, and in the millisecond before he fired he could see Macarena raise one eyebrow in surprise. If he had turned around he would have seen all the other people in the room doing the same thing. He fired the zat-gun and Carter and Macarena fell to the floor. Teal'c quickly pulled Sam away from the Goa'uld as Jack zatted it a second time. You could have heard a falling needle when Hammond walked up to Jack. He cleared his throat. "Nice shooting, son. Now can you please tell me how I will explain this to the President?" "I could zat him again..." Hammond stared at him and Jack swallowed. "Um... I guess that's not an option." They were suddenly interrupted when the bathroom door was opened from the inside. All the forty-five soldiers fell back in position and aimed their weapons at the door. The missing night-nurse cautiously stuck her head out and asked Doc. Fraiser in a thin voice. "Is it safe to come out now?" --- The next day Jack and Sam were back in the Gate-room, trying to get rid of the remaining grasshoppers and all their new children... This time Jack had put a sign on the door. It read: Stay out! That's an order! They had stunned, killed and disintegrated about half a zillion grasshoppers and could now almost identify the color, or lack of color, on the walls. Still there were enough insects in the air around them to make it difficult to see more than a few feet ahead. Sam was just getting ready to pay the colonel back for the brilliant way he had saved her. She pointed the zat-gun, took a deep breath and... Suddenly the doors opened and a human figure appeared, only to get knocked to the floor, surrounded by blue sparks. "Oh no, not again..." "For crying out loud! Doesn't anyone read signs around here?" Sam walked over to the man and bent down. He was lying on his stomach and she rolled him over to see his face. "It's lieutenant-colonel Samuels, Sir." She checked for a pulse. "And he's dead, Sir." "WHAT?" Jack shouted. "No way! I only hit him once." "Well, Sir... um... so did I..." They looked at each other. Jack groaned. "I guess we'd better inform the general." "Inform the general of what?" The door opened again, Hammond stepped through it, and almost stumbled on the dead body. He looked down and recognized the man. "Is he okay?" Sam cleared her throat, "Eh... no, Sir. He's dead." Hammond raised one eyebrow and looked from one to the other. "Geez! I didn't know the general could do that." Sam thought. Jack shrugged again, "Hey, don't look at us! We only zatted him once..." "...Each." Sam finished. Hammond closed his eyes. "I'm too old for this shit!" He held his hand out. "May I have your weapon, major?" Sam handed the zat-gun to the general. "Dang it! I should have known Samuels would be the end of our careers." She was completely unprepared for what happened next. The general pointed the zat-gun at Samuels' lifeless body and fired. --- In the control room Teal'c and Daniel exchanged glances. "Now THAT'S what I call getting rid of the evidence." "Indeed, Daniel Jackson. Indeed." Before they left the room they made sure they had turned all the security cameras back on. The end! --- TITLE: "Friends help you move, real friends help you move bodies!" AUTHOR: Faron CATEGORY: Humor/Parody (sort of) SPOILERS: None that I can think of... SEASON / SEQUEL INFO: Season 4. RATING: PG-13 I guess... CONTENT WARNINGS: Minor character deaths. SUMMARY: Jack happens to hit the wrong target while playing around with a zat-gun. STATUS: Complete DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters belong to MGM/UA, Showtime/Viacom, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Film Corp. What isn't theirs is mine. This is a fan publication, made for entertainment purposes only. I make no money of this, and no copyright infringements are intended. AUTHOR'S NOTES: Thanks to Renay and her sig. for the idea and the title. This is my first completed SG-1 fan-fic in English. Feedback will be greatly appreciated.
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Things You Can Say When You Are Hugging Someone
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Norwegian / old norse names and places
Every now and then I come across a book, movie, TV-series, fanfic, game or whatever, that mention a fictional "Norwegian" or "norse" place or person, and it just sounds so wrong it makes me either cringe or ROFL. Really. I still haven't recovered from the 1995 X-files episode, "Død Kalm", which took us to the port of "Tildeskan" where we met "Henry Trondheim", "Halverson" and "Olafsson". Hopefully this list will keep others from being that “creative” with names. :)
Common names for places, towns and villages in Norway
These names are very generic and suitable for a place, village or town anywhere (and pretty much any time) in Norway. Mix and match prefixes with suffixes for diversity. Bonus: All of these can also be used as surnames. Name (meaning) - usage
Nes (headland, cape, ness) - Standalone Bø (fenced-in field on a farm) - Standalone Fjell (mountain) - Standalone or prefix/suffix: Fjell- / -fjell Haug (small hill / large mound) - Standalone or prefix/suffix: Haug- / -haug Vik, Viken, Vika (inlet, the inlet, the inlet) - Standalone or prefix/suffix: Vik- / -viken / -vika Ås, Åsen (hill, the hill (larger than "Bakken")) - Standalone or prefix/suffix: Dal, Dalen (valley, the valley) - Standalone or prefix/suffix: Berg (small mountain) - Standalone or prefix/suffix: Berg(s)- / -berg Sand (sand) - Standalone or prefix/suffix: Sand- / -sand Strand (beach) - Standalone or prefix/suffix: Strand- / -strand Li (hill) - Standalone or prefix/suffix: Li- / -li Gran (spruce) - Standalone or prefix: Gran- Bratt (steep) - prefix only: Bratt- Myr (bog, mire) - prefix only: Myr- Neset, Nesset (the headland, the cape, the ness) - Standalone or suffix: -neset / -nesset Odden (foreland, headland) - Standalone or suffix: -odden Våg (cove, bay) - Standalone or suffix: -våg Lund (grove) - Standalone or suffix: -lund Sund (sound, strait) - Standalone or suffix: -sund Skog (forest) prefix/suffix: Skog- / -skog Øy (island) prefix/suffix: Øy- / -øy øya (the island) - suffix only: -øya bakken (the hill) - suffix only: -bakken gard / gård / gården (farm / farm / the farm) - suffix only: -gard / -gård / -gården elv, -elva (river, the river) suffix only: -elv / -elva stad (old word for town/place) suffix only: -stad vannet (the lake) - suffix only: -vannet
Common words that can be used as prefix to any of the suffixes above Svart- (black) Lille- (little/small) Sol- (sun) Brei-/Bred- (wide) Stor- (big) Lang- (long)
Common Norwegian surnames (contemporary)
Heredatory surnames didn't become mandatory in Norway until 1923. Many took the name from the farm or place they lived, or just changed their primary patronyms into hereditary patronyms. Example: Helgessønn/Helgesdatter (son of Helge / daughter of Helge) became Helgesen.
Alm Andersen Anderssen Antonsen Aspelund Bakke Bakken Bang Berg Bjerkan Bråthen Christensen Corneliussen Dahl Dahlberg Danielsen Dyrnes Dørum Eide Ellingsen Erdal Eriksen Falch Fredriksen Foss Fure Fylling Gabrielsen Gran Grønning Halvorsen Hansen Hanssen Hay Hoff Holm Holt Husby Isaksen Iversen Jacobsen Jensen Jenssen Johansen Karlsen Klausen Konradsen Kristensen Kristiansen Larsen Larssen Lie Lien Lund Løvold Magnussen Meyer Mikalsen Mo Moen Myhre Myklebust Mørk Ness Nilsen Olavsen Olsen Paulsen Pettersen Prestegård Rasmussen Riise Rogstad Ruud Simonsen Solbakken Solli Stokke Strøm Sund Svendsen Thorvaldsen Torp Thune Tønnesen Ueland Ulven Urdal Vik Vinje Wahl Wik Wilhelmsen Zakariassen Ødegård Årseth Årvik Ås, Aas Åsen, Aasen
Common Norwegian names -- 1980 - present
Men
Anders André Andreas Are Arne Atle Bjørn Cato Chris Christian, Kristian Christoffer, Kristoffer Daniel David Dennis Elias Emil Espen Erik, Eric Eirik Fredrik Filip Geir Harald Helge Hans Henning Håkon, Haakon Håvard Isak Jan Joachim Johan Johannes John, Jon Johnny Jonas Jonathan Kim Kristian, Christian Kristoffer, Christoffer Lars Lucas, Lukas Mads, Mats Magnus Martin Michael, Mikael Morten Niklas Nils Odin Ole Ove Paul Per Peter, Petter Preben Pål Richard, Rikard Roger Sebastian Simen Simon Sindre Sondre Stian Terje Thomas Thor, Tor Thore, Tore Vegard Werner William Øystein Åge Åsmund
Women
Andrea Ane, Anne Anette, Annette Annika, Anniken Astrid Bente Camilla Carina Cathrine Celine Charlotte Christin, Kristin Christina, Kristina Christine, Kristine Elin, Eline Elise Elisabeth Emilie Eva Frida Grete, Grethe Hanne Hege Heidi Helene Hilde Ida Ine Ingrid Ingvill, Ingvild Isabel, Isabell, Isabelle Iselin Jannicke Janine Jeanette Jennie, Jenny Julia, Julie Karoline (Kine) Katrin, Katrine Kristin, Christin Lea, Leah Lena, Lene Linda Line Linn Linnea Lise, Lisa Liv, Live Mai, May Maja Malin Margrete, Margrethe Mari, Maria, Marie Mariann, Marianne Marte, Marthe Mette Monica Nina Nora Oda Pia Ragnhild Randi Rikke Sara, Sarah Silje Siv Stina, Stine Susann, Susanne Tanja Tina, Tine Tiril Tone Trine Vilde Vera Veronica Wenche Åse Åshild
Common Norwegian names - 1800 - 1980
Men Aksel Albert Anders Andreas Anker Ansgar Arne Arnt Arve Asle Atle Birger Bård Charles Edmund Edvard Egon Erling Even Fred Fredrik Frode Geir Georg Gunnar Gunvald Gustav Harald Helge Hilmar Håkon, Haakon Ivar Ingvar Jens Jesper Jørgen Joakim Karl Karsten, Karstein Kjell Klaus Kolbein Kolbjørn Kristian Kåre Lars Lavrans Leif Lossius Ludvig Magne Magnus Nikolai Nils Odd Oddvar Odin Ola Olai Olaf Olav Ole Omar Oscar, Oskar Peder Per Petter Philip, Phillip Pål Ragnar Rikard Roald Roar (also Hroar) Rolf Rune Sigurd Sigvard, Sigvart Simon Svein Sverre Tarjei Terje Toralf, Thoralf Torbjørn, Thorbjørn Torleif, Thorleif Torstein, Thorstein Torvald, Thorvald Trond Ulf Ulrik Valdemar Wilhelm Willy Åge
Women
Albertine Alice, Alise Alma Anita Anna Annbjørg Asbjørg Astrid Aud Bente Berit Birgit Birgitte Bjørg Bjørgun Bodil Borghild Dagny Dagrun Edel Ella Ellen Elsa Fredrikke Frida Gerd Gjertrud Gunhild Gyda Hanna, Hannah Helga Henny Herdis Hilda Hilde Hjørdis Ingeborg Inger Irene Johanna, Johanne Jorun, Jorunn Josefine Judith Kari Karin Kirsten Kitty Kjersti Laila Lilli, Lilly Lisa, Lise Liv Lovise Mathilde Margaret Marit Martha Molly Nanna Oddrun Oddveig Olga Ragna Ragnhild Rigmor Sara Signe Sissel Solbjørg Solveig Solvår Svanhild Sylvi Sølvi Tora Torhild, Toril, Torill Torun, Torunn Tove Valborg Ylva Åse Åshild
Names usage Double names, like Ragnhild Johanne or Ole Martin are common in Norway. Just keep them as two names and don't use "-", and you'll be safe, even if it ends up a tongue twister. Using only one of two given names is also common practice.
In Norway everyone is on a first name basis. Students call teachers and other kids' parents by their first name, workers call their boss by their first name, we call our Prime Minister by her first name (journalists will use her title when speaking to her though). Some senior citizens still use surnames and titles when speaking of or to people their own age.
There are some exceptions. For example, a doctor may be referred to as Dr. Lastname when we speak of them, but first name is used when speaking to them. A priest is "the priest" when speaking of him/her and their first name is used when spaking to them. In the millitary only surnames (and ranks) are used. If you meet Harald, the King of Norway, in an official setting you will refer to him as "Kongen" (the king). If you run into him at the gas station, or while hiking, he is "Harald".
If you don't know someone's name it is okay to use their title, or just say "you".
Names for pets (contemporary)
Dogs Laika (f) Bamse (m) (bear) Tinka (f) Loke/Loki (m) + characters from TV/film/books...
Cats Melis (m/f) (powdered sugar) Mango (m/f) (mango) Pus (f) (kitty) Mons (m) (tomcat) Nala (f) Pusur (m) (Garfield) Felix (m) Simba (m) + characters from TV/film/books...
Horses Pajazz (m) Mulan (f) Balder (m) - cold blood Kompis (m) (pal) Freya (f) - cold blood + characters from TV/film/books...
Rabbits Trampe (m) (Thumper) Trulte (f) + characters from TV/film/books...
Cows (yes, I am serious) Dagros Rosa Mira Luna Sara + characters from TV/film - Disney is popular, as are the Kardashians :)
Road and street names
Storgata (usually the main street) Kongens gate (the king's street) Dronningens gate (the queen's street) Jernbanegata (railroad street) Jernbaneveien (railroad road) Sjøgata (ocean street) Sjøveien, Sjøvegen (ocean road) Skolegata (school street) Torvgata (plaza street) Industrigata (industrial street) Industriveien (industrial road)
Prefixes Blåbær- (blueberry) Bringebær- (raspberry) Bjørke- (birch) Aspe- (asp) Kastanje- (chestnut) Solsikke- (sun flower) Blåklokke- (blue bell) Nype- (rosehip) Kirke- (church) Park- (park)
Suffixes -veien, -vegen (the road) -stien (the path)
Other Torvet (the plaza) - standalone or suffix: -torvet Havna (the port) - standalone or suffix: -havna Kaia (the port) - standalone or suffix: -kaia
Safe solution: use a first name or surname as prefix.
Old norse
Men’s names Agnarr (Agnar) Alfr (Alf) Ámundi (Amund) Ánarr Árngrimr (Arngrim) Askr (Ask) Auðun (Audun) Baldr (Balder) Beinir Bjørn Burr Borkr Dagfinnr (Dagfinn) Davið (David) Drengr Durinn Einarr (Einar) Eirikr (Eirik) Eivindr (Eivind) Erlingr (Erling) Fafnir Flóki Freyr (Frey) Fuldarr Galinn Gautarr (Gaute) Gegnir Geirr (Geir) Glóinn Grímarr (Grimar) Hafli Hakon Hallsteinn (Hallstein) Haraldr (Harald) Haukr (Hauk) Heðinn (Hedin, Hedinn) Helgi (Helge) Hrafn, Hrafni (Ravn) Hrafnkell (Ravnkjell) Iarl (Jarl) Ingolfr (Ingolf) Iuar (Ivar) Jafnhárr Jón Jóngeirr Kál Kiaran Klaus Knútr (Knut) Kolgrimr (Kolgrim) Kolr (Kol) Leifr (Leif) Loki Lyngvi Magnus Mikjáll (Mikal, Mikkel) Mór Morði Nesbjørn Nokkvi Oddr (Odd) Oddbjørn Oðin (Odin) Olafr (Olaf) Ormr (Orm) Otr Ouden Pálni Pedr Ragnarr (Ragnar) Ragnvaldr (Ragnvald) Randr (Rand) Róaldr (Roald) Rólfr (Rolf) Salvi Sigarr (Sigar) Sigbjørn Sigurðr (Sigurd) Skarpe Snorri (Snorre) Steinn (Stein) Sveinn (Svein) Teitr Þor (Thor/Tor) Þórbjørn (Thorbjørn/Torbjørn) Þorsteinn (Thorstein/Torstein) Tryggr (Trygg) Týr Ulfár Ulfheðinn (Ulvhedin) Ulfr (Ulf) Vakr Vani Veigr Viðarr (Vidar) Yngvarr (Yngvar) Æsi
Women's names
Anna Arnfriðr (Arnfrid) Ása Bera Bergdís (Bergdis) Biørg (Bjørg) Cecilia Cecilie Christina Dagný (Dagny) Dagrún (Dagrun) Dís Dísa Edda Elin Ellisif (Ellisiv) Freyja (Freya) Friða (Frida) Frigg Gerðr (Gerd) Gertrud Grima Gyða (Gyda) Hadda Hallbéra Hallkatla Herdís (Herdis) Hildigunnr (Hildegunn) Huld Hvít Ida Iðunn (Idun, Idunn) Ingríðr (Ingrid) Johanna Jórunn (Jorun, Jorunn) Juliana Katla Katrine Krist��n (Kristin) Leikný (Leikny) Lif (Liv) Magnhildr (Magnhild) Mjøll Myrgiol Nál Nanna Nótt Oda Oddný (Oddny) Ólaug (Olaug) Rafnhildr (Ragnhild) Rán Rannveíg Ríkví (Rikvi, Rikke) Rúna (Runa) Roskva Sága (Saga) Sif (Siv) Sigriðr (Sigrid) Skaði (Skadi) Skuld Svana Sýn Solveig Tekla Tóra (Tora) Trana Ulfhildr (Ulfhild) Una Urðr (Urd) Valborg Vigdís (Viigdis) Vírún Yngvildr (Ingvill, Ingvild) Yrsa
Bynames Bynames, or nicknames, could be neutral, praising or condescending. Usually bynames described a person's
body, bodyparts, bodily features
age
kinship and descent
territorial origin
knowledge, belief, spirituality
clothing, armour
occupation, social position
nature
Examples: Eirik Blodøks (Eirik Blood-Axe), Gammel-Anna (old Anna), Halte-Ása (limping Ása). I suggest that you stick with English for bynames, or use (relatively) modern language if you are writing in Norwegian.
Surnames
Surnames weren't really a thing until 1923 when they became mandatory. Before 1923 patronyms (son/daughter of) were used, and the name of the farm you lived on was often added as an address.
For instance: Helgi Eiriksøn (Helgi, son of Eirik), who lived at the farm called Vollr (grass field), would be called Helgi Eiriksøn Vollr. If he moved to the farm called Haugr his name would change to Helgi Eiriksøn Haugr.
Patronyms
Men: Use father's first name and add -sen /-son /-sønn Women: Use father's first name and add -dotter / -dottir / -datter
Farm names
Farm names were usually relevant and derived from either the location, a nearby landmark, nature or from occupation. I suggest you stick with the modern forms for farm names.
Old Norse (meaning) - modern Bekkr (stream) - Bekk, Bekken Dalr (valley) - Dal, Dahl Horn (horn) - Horn Vollr (field) - Vold, Volden Lundr (grove) - Lund
The list of common names for places/villages/towns is still valid, although the spelling is modern. Just keep it simple and make "clever" combos based on meaning.
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5 editor’s secrets to help you write like a pro
1. Sentences can only do one thing at a time.
Have you ever heard a four-year-old run out of breath before she can finish her thought? I edit a lot of sentences that work the same way. You need a noun, you need a verb, you might need an object. Give some serious thought to stopping right there.
Sentences are building blocks, not bungee cords; they’re not meant to be stretched to the limit. I’m not saying you necessarily want a Hemingway-esque series of clipped short sentences, but most writers benefit from dividing their longest sentences into shorter, more muscular ones.
2. Paragraphs can only do one thing at a time.
A paragraph supports a single idea. Construct complex arguments by combining simple ideas that follow logically. Every time you address a new idea, add a line break. Short paragraphs are the most readable; few should be more than three or four sentences long. This is more important if you’re writing for the Web.
3. Look closely at -ing
Nouns ending in -ing are fine. (Strong writing, IT consulting, great fishing.) But constructions like “I am running,” “a forum for building consensus,” or “The new team will be managing” are inherently weak. Rewrite them to “I run,” “a forum to build consensus,” and “the team will manage.” You’re on the right track when the rewrite has fewer words (see below).
(If for some insane reason you want to get all geeky about this, you can read the Wikipedia article on gerunds and present participles. But you don’t have to know the underlying grammatical rules to make this work. Rewrite -ing when you can, and your writing will grow muscles you didn’t know it had.)
4. Omit unnecessary words.
I know we all heard this in high school, but we weren’t listening. (Mostly because it’s hard.) It’s doubly hard when you’re editing your own writing—we put all that work into getting words onto the page, and by god we need a damned good reason to get rid of them.
Here’s your damned good reason: extra words drain life from your work. The fewer words used to express an idea, the more punch it has. Therefore:
Summer months Regional level The entire country On a daily basis (usually best rewritten to “every day”) She knew that it was good. Very (I just caught one above: four-year-old little girl)
You can nearly always improve sentences by rewriting them in fewer words.
5. Reframe 90% of the passive voice.
French speakers consider an elegantly managed passive voice to be the height of refinement. But here in the good old U.S. (or Australia, Great Britain, etc.), we value action. We do things is inherently more interesting than Things are done by us. Passive voicemuddies your writing; when the actor is hidden, the action makes less sense.
Bonus: Use spell-check
There’s no excuse for teh in anything more formal than a Twitter tweet.
Also, “a lot” and “all right” are always spelled as two words. You can trust me, I’m an editor.
Easy reading is damned hard writing. ~ Nathaniel Hawthorne
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So, I don't know how to write pain like! What words do I use? how do I describe it! I really need some help here!
No problem! And sorry about not answering sooner, I was on vacation. To make it up to you, I’ve made one of my trademark Long Posts about it.
TIPS ON HOW TO WRITE PAIN (FOR BOTH ORIGINAL CONTENT WRITERS AND FANFICTION WRITERS)
When I first started writing, about eight years ago, I had the same issue as @imjustafuckinggirl.
How are you supposed to write about pain you’ve never experienced before???
The characters in my book suffer through all sorts of terrible shit, and in no way am I writing from experience, which is marginally easier to do than write about something that has never happened to you.
However, with time, I managed to gather up a few strategies on how to write pain.
1. Don’t Write Paragraphs About It
I know, it’s tempting. You want to convey to the reader just how much pain the character is in, and you think that the pain will be emphasized the more you write about it.
This, however, is a lie.
As a reader, when I’m reading a book or fanfiction where, whenever the writer uses agonizingly long paragraphs to describe when a character is hurt, I skip it.
Entirely.
It’s boring and, quite frankly, unnecessary, especially during a fight or huge battle, which are supposed to be fast-paced.
When it comes to writing about pain, it really is about quality and not quantity.
In my own writing, I stick to short, quick paragraphs, some of them which are barely a line long. This gives it a faster pace and sort of parallels with the scattered, spread out thoughts of the character as they suffer.
2. Describe it Right
Many times, usually in fanfiction, writers over-exaggerate certain injuries.
This partially has to do with the fact that they’ve never experienced that injury before and are just thinking about what it might feel like.
As a girl with two brothers and who often participated in rough play-fights, I can assure you that getting punched is not as painful as you think it is.
(However, it does depend on the area, as well as how hard the punch is, on top of the fact that you have to take into account whether or not the punch broke bones)
I’m reading a high school AU where a character gets punched by a bully (Idk where they got punched it wasn’t stated) and the author is describing it like they’d been shot.
It was to the point where I was like Did the bully have brass knuckles or something????
It was very clear that this author had never been punched before.
When describing the pain of an injury or the injury itself, you have to take into account:
- What object was used to harm the character
- Where the injury is
- How long the character has had the injury
- (For blades) How deep the cut is
- (For blunt force trauma) How hard the hit was
- Whether or not the wound triggers other things (Ex: Concussion, vomiting, dizziness, infection, internal/external bleeding).
There’s also the fact that when some authors described wounds caused by blades such as knives, daggers, and swords, they never take into account the anatomy of a person and which places cause the most blood flow.
Obviously, a cut on your cheek will have less of a blood flow than a cut on your wrist, depending on what the blade hits, and I hope that everyone consults a diagram of veins, capillaries, arteries, etc. when they’re describing blood flow from a certain place.
There’s also the fact that you have to take into account where the blood is coming from. Veins? Arteries?
The blood from arteries will be a brighter red, like vermilion, than the blood from veins, which is the dark crimson everyone likes to talk about.
Not all places gush bright red blood, people!
3. DIFFERENT INJURIES HAVE DIFFERENT KINDS OF PAIN
Here, let me explain.
A punch feels different from a slap.
A broken arm feels different from getting stabbed.
A fall feels different from a dog bite.
I’ll give you a list of all the kinds of things that can be described for the three most common kinds of injuries that happen in stories:
Punch/Blunt Force Trauma
How it feels:
- Aching
- Numbness (In the later stages)
- A single spike of pain before it fades into an ache
- Throbbing
Effects:
- Vomiting (If the character is punched in the gut)
- Swelling
- Bruising
- Broken bones
- Unconsciousness (Blow to the head)
- Dizziness (Blow to the head)
- Concussion (Also a blow to the head)
- Internal bleeding
- Death (In the case of concussions and internal bleeding and broken bones- ribs can pierce lungs)
Stab Wound/Cut
How it feels:
- Stinging (only shallow wounds have just stinging)
- Burning
- With stab wounds, I feel like describing the effects of it make it more powerfully felt by the reader
Effects:
- Bleeding (Consult chart of the circulatory system beforehand for the amount of blood flow that should be described and what color the blood should be)
- Dizziness (Heavy blood loss)
- Unconsciousness
- Infection (if left unattended)
- Death
Gunshot
How it feels:
- Depends on the caliber bullet, from how far away they were shot (point-blank range is nothing like being shot from a distance), and in what place. Do careful research and then make your decision.
Effects:
- Bleeding(Consult chart of the circulatory system beforehand for the amount of blood flow that should be described and what color the blood should be. Also take into effect the above variables for blood flow as well.)
- Dizziness (Heavy blood loss)
- Infection (if left unattended)
- Death
Some things that a character may do while they’re injured:
- Heavy/Harsh/Ragged breathing
- Panting
- Making noises of pain
gasping
grunting
hissing
groaning
whimpering
yelping (when the injury is inflicted)
screaming
shrieking
wailing
- Crying/ Weeping/Sobbing/Etc.
- Clenching their teeth
- Unable to speak
- Pressing their hands against a stab wound/cut to try and stem the bleeding
- Eyesight going out of whack (vision blurring and tilting, the room spinning, black spots consuming sight)
- Eyes rolling up into their head
- Trembling/shaking
- Ears riniging (from gunshot)
HOPE THIS HELPED!
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