#i hope my rambling makes some sense
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My page for @sheikahzine; about Impaz's duty to her village, empty of people and full of memories.
[id in alt text]
#legend of zelda#loz#twilight princess#loz tp#i'm still reeling that someone sent me an ask about this one.. that they took the time to find my tumblr and tell me they liked it#it really meant a lot; thank you to anyone that stops to leave comments like that. they make me happy#but yeah! here's the usual symbolism ramble:#i thought it'd be cool to have the 'spirits' flowing one way and the cats walking through them the other way#to kinda show the difference in life inhabiting the village in the past and present#link's face is covered because impaz was just waiting for 'the hero' so his clothes are what matters; not his face#and it (hopefully) gives a surreal and intangible sense to 'the hero' she could only hope would actually show up#you can feel free to interpret the glowy blue sheikah as ghosts or just as memories of the past! i couldn't decide either way#the one on the bottom left is oot impa since she's implied to be the village founder. so i guess she would be a ghost actually?#fan art#my art#project stuff#and ahhh the book-- everyone's stuff is so beautiful!!#especially the writing. some of the fics made me really tear up and some were so fun and clever. i really love them#a lot of them captured the sheer burden of the role of the sheikah; all of the time and grief and doubt#i know i always say this stuff about every project but. the people i get to work with in these are truly so skilled every time
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" just know that i'm always here for you, okay? "
i'm finally finishing up my s2 rewatch and getting to the 24th episode awoke a beast in me. so i wanted to make a fake screenshot based on some of their lore that takes place during that episode. i think they'd end up having a heart-to-heart moment since kuroba went through similar struggles after their grandfather's own hospitalization...
also have a bonus doodle bc i need to even out the balance between serious & goofy with these two.
#my urge to attempt writing a fic based on this is SO STRONG. even though i do not have a lot of experience w/ fic writing#buT GAAAA I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THE LAST TWO EPISODES AND KUROBA....#it's hard to put into words rn but god there's so much.....#like. kuroba trying to help out matsuyo behind the scenes since they sympathize with how hard things can be when i loved one ->#is in the hosptial due to something that could've been life threatening ( matsuzou's heart attack & chouji's hip + leg injury )#i also think they personally delivered some get-well flowers to matsuzou and checked up on him in the hospital#that's not even getting into everything that happens after the sextuplets die...#i won't go into it rn but there's a reason why matsuyo & matsuzou are very keen on kuroba marrying into the family#ALSO I FINALLY DREW A BACKGROUND AGAIN AFTER 50 YEARS#now ya'll have a lil insight on what the inside of kuroba's shop looks like hehe#hopefully my rambling is making sense rn. i hope it is 😭#osmt#yumematsu#osomatsu-san oc#karamatsu#mj ocs#oc : kuroba#ship : kurokara#mj draws
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Peaceful property is a bl even if it's not. It's also about so many other things although not really delivering on a consistent message.
I thought about adding my thoughts to this thread but it was getting long and I started to get sidetracked so I decided to just make my own post about it and share my thoughts on it. @lurkingshan @bengiyo and @twig-tea all made good point about why this show is faltering with its own themes, and @respectthepetty made a compelling argument that the show knows what its doing.
I think no one is wrong and I land somewhere in the middle with it. As in, depending on what I choose to care about. Much like @respectthepetty, I am bias about this show. For different reasons tho. I like Tay and New a lot so I lead with that instead of my critical thinking. just as a personal aside, I tend to do this when my brain and heart don't align. I ignore when my brain tells me that the show is doing something wrong so that I can enjoy the rest. This works particularly well with QL for some reason. I am after all a person who liked Dangerous Romance even when my brain kept trying to damper my enjoyment with logic. And also sometimes I'm a hypocrite and there's no reason for why I like a show and not another. Ok, there's usually a reason but it's most often not a good one, or a rational one at least. That's just how it is.
Anyway. Because of all the excellent points made by that post I decided to fully engage my brain and I've been thinking about what this show is trying to say and I agree that unfinished business is the main thing in the ghost stories but I would have to shut off my brain completely to not see how class factors into all of it as well.
The ghosts up until now, except the chef, were all lower class and one can argue that it played a part in how they died or what happened after. I'm not including episode 7 for reasons that I will explain in a bit. Even if Ride's unfinished business was about love, the fact that he was the only rider doing deliveries in the rain, at least to me, read as he was driven by the need to make money in the first place. Even in the chef's case, the customer that Peach basically poisoned was rich and it was a part of the headlines about it and the reason for the restaurant getting shut down. Also most of the individual stories didn't get deep into these issues, case of the week usual issues, but it was always an underlying theme. Also as @twig-tea said all the parallels work even better because this disparity also exists between Home and Peach.
All this gets me to how I started this post. This is a bl even if it isn't. The choice to include the tragic bl storyline in the middle of this, in my own brain, can only be explained if I believe this is a bl. (The tragic bit was thematically consistent with this show.) Specifically a gmmtv bl. Cause ultimately they have a tendency to forsake narrative consistency if it stops serving the main romance. It's also the only way I can explain having a bl pair mirroring the other bl pair on screen. So in that way it's consistent with gmmtv. Just brush aside anything that can get in the way of the couple not having a happy ending. This is also how I explain my biggest issue with it. Pangpang. She's the shipper. She's been the shipper from basically the start.
Home basically killed her brother, why would she be the driving force in getting him forgiven? Because of my previously admitted bias, I forgave Home almost immediately. It's New and he didn't mean it, it was an accident and he wanted to call for help and do the right thing but his family interfered and.... I could come up with a lot of reasons because I want to forgive him. So everything else can be ignored. But all this obviously doesn't apply to Pang. So it can only be the bl in the not a bl show.
Now, on full brainy mode, this last episode makes no sense with everything else this show has been saying until now. They used a branded pair to ignore any class disparity between our mains, since the last ghost story didn't really parallel that, and over the forgiveness part, and jump straight into Peach has forgiven Home and will probably now become his saviour. Don't even get me started on the fact that Peach is still broke but saving the rich dude that turned his life to crap will be the most important thing right now. I wonder if gmmtv has ever ignored class disparity between a main couple and instead focused on the richer dude's drama while ignoring the struggle of the other one, all in favour of the main romance and lovey dovey moments 🤔. But I guess I'll reserve full judgement on that until the next episode.
yeah, so basically this is where I am at with this show. My two sides are fighting but come next wednesday my brain will take the back seat for 45 minutes so I can enjoy Tay and New and after that maybe I'll think about it some more.
#peaceful property#i hope this all made some sense to anyone that made it to the end#this is of course my own personal opinion and how I choose to engage with certain shows#it doesn't really make sense a lot of the time but it works for me#mostly#there are of course exceptions but that's a whole other thing#no need to get into it with this show#and and now I need to watch something that doesn't require brain power#perfect timing for fourever you#I am tired#thai bl#rose rambles
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TO be honest. I don’t understand what it means when people say Merlin was Arthur’s bane. Mayhaps I misunderstand but. Arthur was a bit of an assassination magnet (not to mention all those magical creatures and bandits... so many bandits), and Merlin actively prevented Arthur's death for years, which would have occured without him anway in the very first episode. I can see why one might argue that Merlin was just delaying the inevitable, or that he didn't succeed in keeping Arthur safe until Arthur could enact the golden age, but certainly I don’t see how he could have been Arthur’s bane.
Also, it’s implied in the last episode that the golden age does occur, but under Guinevere. Which makes sense as she knew Merlin was the sorcerer and that she was pleased about it (and I recall it was confirmed in interviews), so I also don’t follow the twin train of thought that Merlin was his own bane or even Camelot’s. Camelot was already bane-d(?) under Uther. But partly because of Merlin's steady friendship, Arthur matured into a king who was kinder than his father. He also actively sought magic's aid on multiple occasions, so he knew magic had potential for good (like healing his queen) without Merlin needing to tell him about his magic.
I don't think it's fair to say Camelot's laws on magic remaining relatively static was because no one close to Arthur came out as having magic. There was still much risk in that, and for Merlin a lot at stake, not just his life. A law change was still possible (and almost seemed to be set up that way) without Arthur needing someone he was personally close to having to do the work to humanize it for him (in the sense that the episodes with the druids, the druid boy with Elyan, and the dolma seemed like they were pointing to a law change because Arthur sees the diversity of magic and those who have it).
At worst Merlin’s efforts didn’t change the status quo, but we do have things indicating that they did. And Merlin was not single-mindedly serving Arthur at the expense of everyone else. He saved Camelot as a whole multiple times. He was also very willing to stick out his neck for many others even during the height of his anxiety and agitation in season 5. (Also only being slightly silly when I say this, but he was also THE wingman for Arthur when he was getting with Gwen, so in a way Merlin’s help led to their courting being a success and thus contributed to her being in a great position to change the laws. so personally I give points to Merlin for that). Most of the decisions centering Arthur's safety seemed to stem from the fear that Albion would crumble before it began if Arthur were to die, so he tried his best to prevent that from happening in any way he knew. (Like, when Arthur is dying, Merlin asks "So I failed?" regarding the whole golden age thing, which I think is telling that the prophesy and his role in it was still VERY much at the forefront of Merlin's mind).
And this is a digression but I know people think Merlin should have done more for Camelot, or for folks with magic (like, as a revolutionary or something akin), which I understand but no one reached out to network with him really? It'd require resources, people (always confused why there weren't a whole bunch more folks offering Merlin material/intellectual/emotional support if they thought he should be the one to bring about the golden age. all he was told was that the forseen way it actually happens succesfully is through Arthur), time (I doubt it’d have been much of a ‘quicker’ way necessarily), and incredible planning + foresight if it's meant to be something that works out effectively + long-term. Okay I think I've digressed enough now. This is a whole seperate thought that I don't think I'm gonna do any justice here lol, and I'm already rambling, so I'll stop now :,)
But anyway, in terms of being his own or Arthur’s bane, we know Arthur will return, and we don’t know how Merlin spent his years. His magic can play with time and maybe he learns how to control that, or he could have entered a stasis like in various legends, etc etc etc. And I mean it is tragic on many levels, and it’s sad we didn’t see Arthur’s arc completed, and that Merlin sacrificed so much for a goal that didn't get much acknowledgment by the show at the end, but still. I don’t think Merlin was Arthur’s bane, or Camelot’s, or his own.
#I am always writing things out when I'm SLEEPY so my bad if this doesn't make sense or is redundant. it's def all over the place 😭#being sleepy makes me so sympathetic to merlin like..... he must have been sleepy too#also. sorry this is yet another post not gushing about Merlin on my side blog made just to gush about Merlin#this will probably happen again BUT#you must understand there’s always an undercurrent of gushing in all my posts#bc I love Merlin and enjoyed the show even though it does make me. feel things. that I wish it didn’t#BUT ALSO will make a tag for this for easy blocking in case anyone wants to block these rambles!#uhhhh the tag will be… this one:#🌹#I hope blocking emoji tags works... willing to hear suggestions on this LOL#(maybe I'll clean this up later but I just wanted to get some thoughts down!)#okay I'm done now back to imagining Merlin in starry court sorcerer robes while doing magical shenanigans :D#merlin#bbc merlin
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grass knot
[~4.5k words, read it here or on Ao3. tagged with Volo and Lance since they appear as prominent characters; Rei-centric]
Why is it that even the thought of confiding in Akari, his closest friend, makes something constrict in his chest, choking out the words?
Rei, caught in the stirrings of a new arc, tries to rise to its call, but trips over the past at every turn.
A full rewrite of that Mysterious Stones chapter where Volo first shows up, from Rei’s POV, plus a bit more. Written mostly before the Arceus Arc began.
(Setting expectations: a lot of this fic is just Rei Thinking About Stuff haha. Love getting into his head! His characterisation is a little bit different/more nuanced compared to the other Rei oneshot I wrote; hopefully you'll still be along for the ride if you've read that one!)
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“Show me thy bond.” It echoes inside Rei’s skull, down to the very bone, the same as in his earliest memories. He nearly buckles under its weight, but it's a welcome feeling.
After so long without direction, this is a relief. Arceus has finally spoken.
The words fit perfectly with the half-remembered fragments Rei had received some weeks ago in the middle of the night. Why hadn't they been intelligible then? What makes now different? The sync stones ultimate are one factor, of course. Maybe Arceus draws power from them, which is strange to say of a deity, but from what he knows of the Plates, it might not be so far-fetched.
Prince Lear disperses the murmuring crowd; so, the audience all heard it too, not just those on the arena floor. Professor Bellis congratulates Bettie. Cynthia, Lance and Steven whisper among themselves. And his mind still whirls with new theories as they gather together.
What does Arceus want?
‘Seek out all Pokemon’ had meant completing the Pokedex. At least, that’s what he’d assumed. Now, this time, Arceus likely means for them to showcase bonds with their Pokemon, given the context. But what does that actually entail?
Cynthia’s words cut above everyone else's. “Rei. Was that voice…?”
All eyes are on him. He breathes deeply, steeling himself, as the familiar weight of it settles in. Things are moving, now.
“Yes. I'm certain. That was —”
“Indeed! That was a message from Arceus!”
His words catch in his throat. Off-balance, suddenly, as all his thoughts fall away, replaced by a swooping feeling he can't quite identify —
He whirls around.
Volo is here.
He takes a few steps back, an involuntary half-stumble, before remembering himself.
Those flashes of movement he's been seeing, the feeling of being watched, a Togepi, unattended: they’re all now terrifyingly validated. He'd half thought them a product of his overactive mind.
“Excuse-moi, pardon me… but who are you?” Professor Bellis ventures.
“I'm Volo — a humble merchant who loves history and mythology!” With that, he flashes a winning smile. Rei could laugh at the sheer audacity of it all, but his thoughts are still strewn across the dusty ground, scattered, and they slip from his grasp as he tries to gather them up. Whatever sense of gravity he’d felt upon hearing Arceus’ voice has completely lifted.
“But more importantly!” Volo continues. “When the arena shone brightly, I also heard that voice.” He brings his hand up to point at the air with enthusiastic emphasis, a gesture still so terribly familiar. Rei clenches his fists, feeling the nails dig into his skin. Not really out of anger. More as a reminder.
The last time he’d seen Volo had been. Well. Memorable. But that isn’t the image that smiles back at him now, tripping him up. He's in Gingko uniform again, complete with ridiculous oversized backpack, which Rei had thought discarded, up there on the peak. Apparently not. Had Volo returned later, still seething, to collect his things? The concept is strangely hilarious.
“I wonder… these sync stones ultimate… might they be some sort of test from Arceus? If we could show him that ‘bond’ he desires —”
“Sorry, test? Arceus?” Cynthia interrupts with a frown, holding a hand out. “What makes you say that?”
“Why, it's quite simple. Arceus' presence was summoned by these stones, in this exhibition, and he requests us to further show our bond. What else could he desire?” Volo says, gesturing widely.
Rei finally pulls himself upright — scrapes his thoughts together into something resembling coherence. The initial shock has drained away, settling into a distant sort of apprehension. He watches silently. Volo’s not really saying anything too unreasonable, but where is this leading?
There’s so much he doesn’t know. What has Volo been doing, all this time? How long has he been on Pasio? What does he hope to gain, approaching them like this?
He’ll let Volo continue, then. It's an opportunity for some of those questions to be answered.
(And it gives Rei time to think of what to say.)
“Well, put that way, that does make sense,” Steven nods along. “Should we organise for more trainers to try the stones, then?”
“Oui, I would love to gather more data!” Professor Bellis answers. “However, the stones are still quite volatile. There is progress on this, yes, but for now, I would like to limit their use, capisci?”
At this, Bettie speaks up. “Yeah, it was weird.” She runs a hand through her Pikachu’s fur, the mouse curled up lazily in her arms. Nobody in Hisui was quite that affectionate with their Pokemon. Certainly not Akari, though she'd grown closer with her own Pikachu over time. As for himself, Decidueye had been standoffish, averse to being carried even as a baby Rowlet. Well, actually — as his distracted mind digs deeper into memory, he recalls — there had been Volo and his Togepi.
He casts that errant thought away, buries it deep once again. Bettie is still speaking.
“And it was like nothing was there, at first, and Pikachu and I had to concentrate really hard. And then — whoosh! Wow! Overwhelming,” she shifts Pikachu’s weight to one arm to gesture with emphasis, “and all at once.”
“And this is when Arceus spoke,” Lance asks.
Bettie nods, now subdued. “It was a rush! I think you guys could handle it, but I dunno if everyone could.”
“If I may,” and all attention returns to Volo. “It seems the stones can currently be used by trainers with particularly powerful convictions, and bonds with their Pokemon,” he gestures with a smile to Bettie. She blushes.
At the casual flattery, Rei can't help the small frown that twists onto his face. It seems innocent enough, but compliments and niceties can so easily mask true intent.
Especially with Volo.
Volo continues. “Perhaps we might solve this by way of a tournament, of sorts. Allowing Arceus to witness our talent and dedication, with the victor bestowed the honour of using the stones! Of course, the winner of such a competition would have the fortitude necessary to handle such power.”
Well, taking that to its logical end… Volo wants to win, and be granted this ‘honour’ he so conveniently proposed. But why go to all this trouble? The stones appear out in the streets quite often — apparently, found even by preschoolers. Volo should have no trouble obtaining them.
Does he know something they don't?
“Bettie here led the first winning PML team, did she not?” At this, the girl in question smiles Mareepishly. “And that is why she was the one to demonstrate the stones, I presume,” Volo inclines his head towards the Champions.
Informed guess, or something more? He thinks back on half-seen, furtive movements, and wonders.
“That's right,” Steven confirms. “Bettie is a shining example to us: a leader of the next generation. We decided there was no better choice.”
“So you suggest we hold another tournament,” Lance says thoughtfully. “Well, there is precedent. Prince Lear,” he turns to the Prince, whom Rei had honestly half forgotten was there. “What do you think?”
Before Lear can reply, Volo reinserts himself into the conversation. “It would be a grand tournament, truly fitting of Pasio's reputation. Why, perhaps, the deity Arceus might even be compelled to descend —”
Ah. So that’s what he intends. “Aren't you getting ahead of yourself there?” Rei interrupts. He means to sound stern, but it comes out sounding more incredulous. Not at the idea itself, but at how brazenly it’s admitted.
“Perhaps,” Volo says with a careless shrug. He doesn’t acknowledge Rei any differently than the others, still maintaining their inadvertently shared ruse. “It's only speculation, of course, but it is exciting to think about!”
“Hmph! I believe I was the one being addressed,” Prince Lear declares, arms crossed. His red shades flash dangerously, eyes hidden under their glint. Directed at him, it's almost like the full glare of an Alpha Pokemon.
Rei’s face flushes with heat to the tips of his ears. Great time he picked to enter the discussion. He quietly ducks his head down; the Prince is in charge, here, after all. He'd rather not test his patience.
Meanwhile, Volo just smiles, seemingly unfazed.
There's a part of him that really wants to know how Volo does that. It's just — he's so confident. How can he be so sure that everything will work out in his favour?
“A grand tournament,” Prince Lear ponders, tapping his foot. “And what could be grander than the second Pokemon Masters League?”
“Indeed!” Volo beams. “I'm sure the audience would love to see the clash between a king and a deity, would they not?”
Lear's tapping stills. His guarded stance loosens; he's taken aback. Volo emphasised king, and oh, Lear's official title is Prince. Hm.
There's something more deliberate about it beyond just casual flattery.
Lear uncrosses his arms and seems at a loss, for a moment, on where to put them before straightening up with his hands on hips. “Is that so?” He laughs. “I like the sound of that!” A pause, unnecessarily dramatic. Nobody breaks the silence, not even Volo.
The Prince looks around with some satisfaction and continues. “Very well, then. The winning team of the second PML will be granted the honour of using the sync stones ultimate.” He grins, sharply, red shades flashing once again. “Which will include me, of course. Hahahahaha!”
“You have a real gift for making quick decisions!” Volo says cheerfully. The tension breaks. Chuckles arise from the rest of the group, and Rei can only stare in disbelief. That — that has to be mockery, right? But everyone else seems to take it as light teasing, even the quick-tempered Prince himself.
Against his better judgement, his gaze catches Volo’s.
He doesn't know what he expects to see: amusement? Satisfaction? Triumph? And there's some of that, but it's a wry, knowing sort of look, like a joke shared only between the two of them.
Already the others are starting to animatedly discuss between themselves. Bettie makes a teasing comment to Lear, who scoffs. Professor Bellis says something about checking in on the sync stone technology. Cynthia, Lance and Steven form their own little group again, speaking in low tones, and he can't quite follow their discussion.
It seems like he's the only one who notices Volo quietly slipping away, and he's got half a mind to do the same.
Would it be incredibly ill-advised to follow him? Probably. But he still has questions. And it’s possible that Volo will let his guard down when they're alone.
(Even to him, that seems incredibly optimistic. But there’s things between them that he himself would rather only unearth in private. Maybe Volo feels the same way. And even if not, perhaps he'll gloat, or tease playfully, and let on something of use hidden in the thorned barbs.)
It's not like he has much left to contribute here. Tournaments and competitions and organised displays are foreign to him. The Neo Champion Stadium had felt so different from the kind of battles he’s used to… which, in part, could be why he lost.
He needs to train. If everything rests on the result of this tournament, he has to be ready.
The group seems to be naturally dispersing, at least — Professor Bellis just excused herself — so he won't be missed. With some quick words, he, too, turns to leave. They can handle this part, and Rei will do his.
Prince Lear had mentioned a winning team, and Pasio battles are generally three on three, from what he's seen. Who could he ask? There's Akari, of course. And the clan leaders, but it would feel strange to team up with only one and not the other. A little bit too reminiscent of another time.
His steps carry him nearly to the edge of the arena.
Besides, he's getting ahead of himself. He still has to… well, he should explain everything to them. About Volo.
Even all these months later, it still aches. He had buried it all, hoping to let it rot away, to be free of that thorny mass of contradictory feelings that arose every time he dwelled on it.
But the longer he waits, the more impossible it seems to explain — to explain not only the events of that fateful day, but also his own, confusing silence on the matter. Though he’s tried to plough the field, turn it all over and start anew, it still lies just beyond the surface, and a single misstep is all it takes to snarl him all over again. Why is it that even the thought of confiding in Akari, his closest friend, makes something constrict in his chest, choking out the words?
(Akari is unquestionably the one person he's closest to. But there was a time when that singular title wasn't so clear cut.)
There’s a sort of tunnel that leads out of the stadium, a long darkened archway that passes under the audience stands. He's about halfway through when he hears footsteps from behind, swift and purposeful strides.
His breath catches, for a moment. But Volo left first, and the arena had been flat and wide, with no corners to lurk in. Besides, it's too loud. Clearly telegraphed.
Cynthia, maybe?
He turns. The face that greets Rei is slightly less familiar. “Lance,” he acknowledges the Champion.
“Rei,” Lance greets in turn, stopping a few paces away. Arms crossed, silhouetted against the light of the arena and framed by the tunnel’s dark, arching walls, his tall figure is — intimidating.
He can’t help but wonder whether that's deliberate.
“You left before I could ask,” Lance says, and there's a pause. “As someone who has prior experience with Arceus, what do you think of all this?”
A fair enough question. But the way it's said… sounds a little too carefully worded. Casual, but purposefully so.
What sort of answer does Lance expect?
“It sounds reasonable enough,” he decides to say. As much as he hates to lend credence to Volo’s proposal, he can't think of anything better. It somehow seems to suit their needs perfectly, which he's sure is no accident. “Back in Hisui, I was told to seek out all Pokemon, so I helped with the Pokedex. In the same way, I guess this could help fulfil Arceus' new request.”
Lance nods along, but his brows furrow. “You sounded more sceptical, earlier,” he points out.
Ah. Not really his intent, but… “That was about the more…” he casts about for the right word, “speculative part of it. I don't know if it would really call Arceus down, or anything like that.” Though honestly, he doesn't know that it won't.
“What do you think will happen, then?” Lance asks, with clear curiosity, and, well. He doesn't really have a good answer to that.
“... I don't know,” he admits. “I never actually completed the Pokedex, so I'm not sure what happens after Arceus’ request is fulfilled.” He had been close, but there had still been so many minor tasks that needed finishing, things to busy himself with, to arrange and get in order before he had to face Giratina again.
He hadn't been ready, yet. Maybe Arceus had grown impatient, and brought him here to confront his problems directly. Maybe it cared. Maybe it didn't.
(Seeing Giratina with Cynthia had felt a little like he was the punchline of some divine comedy.)
Lance purses his lips and looks off into the distance, out of the stadium, past Rei. He wishes he could read the man’s expressions better; as it is, the set of his brows calls to mind Kamado, and everything else tangled up with it.
Finally, Lance’s gaze turns directly to Rei once again, and he speaks. “That Volo… you two know each other.”
It’s not a question, but even then, the expression of unguarded surprise he can’t hold back might be answer enough.
Lance has one hand on his hip, the other, at rest, is framed by the drape of his cape. He looks down at Rei as he states plainly, “His clothes aren’t of modern make, so the logical assumption would be that he’s from Hisui. Cynthia confirmed my suspicion. And, historically, Hisuian communities were few and quite tightly knit. It’s more likely than not.”
He tries to keep his expression carefully neutral, as logic digs deeper, dangerously close to things unexplainable. And the earth is already recently disturbed, soft, friable. He can’t offer much resistance. “I've seen him around,” he concedes.
“But why did neither of you acknowledge the other?” Lance looks confused; frustrated, even. “Even a passing acquaintance would be notable, with both of you being here in the future.”
And here — this is familiar. The accusations. The questions he can’t answer. But it’s different; it’s not that he doesn’t know the answers. He just can’t seem to put them in an order that would make sense, to anyone else.
(Does he really understand, himself?)
But eyes are on him, and he needs to explain, in whatever unsatisfactory way he can. “Volo and I… it's complicated,” he laughs weakly, tugging at his scarf. “He genuinely does love history and mythology, you know. I guess I wouldn't be that surprised if he was right about Arceus.” All those times they’d pored over ruins together, Volo excitedly babbling on about whatever legend this one related to — there had to have been the seed of something real, something genuine, in that.
It’s not really an answer. Lance can obviously tell, because he crosses his arms.
“Is he bad news?” he asks bluntly.
There’s no twisting his way out of this one.
Some of the panic he’s feeling must bubble up onto his face, because Lance’s expression softens, just a bit. The man sighs. “Look, Rei, I don’t know what’s going on between you two, but us Champions need to have all the relevant information. This tournament, the stones,” he gestures around them, “affect everyone here on Pasio. So I’m sorry about involving myself in your business, but it's necessary. Should we be keeping an eye on Volo?”
It’s obvious what the correct answer is. And every second he delays responding makes him seem all the more untrustworthy. He questions, a little hysterically, why this of all things is what he stubbornly roots himself for, risking this place he’s made for himself in another unfamiliar land.
But his jaw works, and all that slips out of his throat, past the thorny tangle, is a “Maybe.” The most ground he can concede. “Volo’s… passionate about Arceus.” Which is perhaps the biggest understatement of both this century and the last.
There's an expectant pause. He almost leaves it at that, but it seems it's too unfinished a sentiment for Lance. “He wants to be seen by it.”
“The same way you are?” Lance says sharply. Arceus, he picked up on that fast. Rei hopes he leaves it at that. A rivalry fallen apart, twisted into bitterness and jealousy, nothing more.
Nothing world-ending.
It’s not like he doesn’t trust Cynthia, and by extension the other Champions. It’s just… he can deal with it himself. It’s what he was probably brought here to do, anyway. The thought of someone else turning him over, and finding him lacking — fighting his battles for him — makes him uneasy.
“Yeah, something like that,” he answers, with a painful swallow.
Besides, he hopes he can resolve this peacefully. He’d beaten Volo before, even after he’d flipped the rules of battle on their head. And this time Volo can’t upend the script; one good thing about tournaments, he supposes, is that the rules are rigorously upheld. A different sort of battleground.
He wants to laugh at that. Suppositions and wildly optimistic thoughts are his only foundation, and yet it’s enough for him to reject all possibility of outside help.
Then again, if he can’t even bring himself to tell Akari, what chance does he have of breaking that self-imposed silence, here, on less familiar ground?
Lance hums, assessing this. He uncrosses his arms. “If that friend of yours does anything drastic, tell us, alright?” he says. It’s said warmly, but there's something serious to it. An undertone. “Our job is to help out wherever we can, so don’t hesitate to reach out.”
Rei tries for a smile. “Understood.”
Lance nods, and looks Rei up and down, though it's only a subtle flicker of his eyes. His gaze lingers on the scarf at Rei’s neck, which Rei realises he’s been fidgeting with unconsciously. He lets go with faint embarrassment, feeling caught out.
The other man sighs. “You can go, you know?” There’s resignation in his voice. Maybe even something apologetic. In that moment, he seems more like Kamado than ever.
Rei doesn’t want to turn his back to him, but he wants to be here even less. So he nods, stiffly, and turns himself around, continuing the dark walk through the tunnel and out the stadium at a steady pace.
He doesn’t run.
(But his hand hovers by his satchel, where Decidueye's Pokeball rests.)
It’s only when he’s walked for a good while, out into the harsh sunlight, through the town outskirts and to a more forested spot, that the tension drains from him. He sits at the base of a large tree, feeling a little lightheaded.
That was… an interrogation, to put it bluntly. And he can’t really fault Lance for it. To anyone, he's sure, his actions are confusing at best.
Unfortunately, he’s found that he’s less than clear headed when it comes to Volo. He turns over Lance’s final words. That friend of yours. It’s not surprising Lance phrased it that way; everything Rei had said had been carefully woven to lead him to that conclusion.
Except it hadn’t been misdirection, not fully. He does still think of Volo as his friend, despite everything.
He slumps backwards, against the trunk of the tree, feeling the rough bark dig against the base of his skull.
What is he supposed to do with that?
Apparently, one of the worst days of his life isn’t enough to uproot over a year of growing camaraderie and budding friendship. Too many memories knot together, a stubborn tangle impossible to pick apart. He’s tried not to think about them too hard, but they tighten their hold once again, from where they lay dormant and buried.
Many of them have been forcibly recontextualised. He’s second guessed every helpful gift, every directly admiring word, every coincidental and fortunate appearance, as something deliberate and cultivated. But some of it, it seems, doesn't fit so neatly with that singular goal.
One day, they’d watched Togepi use Metronome for an hour, ostensibly for Rei’s surveying purposes. Important documentation of a seemingly random phenomenon, and all that. In actuality, they laughed the entire time, with no useful or coherent records to speak of, as the results became all the more improbable.
They’d camped together, those last months, as the search for the Plates got wilder and more exciting. He knows Volo’s favoured way to build a camp-fire, and how he wakes up unreasonably early in the morning, and that he prefers sweet foods over savoury, unlike Rei himself. A hundred mundane familiarities shared, taking root in fallow ground.
Once, Volo had been his only friend in the entire world.
Is it surprising, then, that he can’t lay this friendship to rest so easily?
He wonders what it means, that the hand offered to him at his lowest point was the same one that always meant to drag him back down. And what it means that he still wants to reach for it.
Had any real feelings been sowed there, on Volo’s part? Or was the entire thing a carefully constructed weaving, an intricate field of grass knots laid around Rei, ready to catch him in their snare?
He can’t quite strangle the hope that something of their friendship still exists, even if neglected and overgrown. And that’s the part that scares him.
He has Akari, and Adaman, and Irida. He has Professor Laventon and the Captain, though they’re far away. Then there’s the Wardens, more friendly faces: Mai, Sabi, Ingo, and all the others; there's Zisu and Pesselle and Beauregard and everyone else in Jubilife. New friends here on Pasio, too.
He pulls out Decidueye’s Pokeball from his satchel, and rolls it around in his right hand. He has his beloved Starter.
He has friends. He has bonds.
Why can’t that be enough?
The Pokeball he’s holding isn't the original. He'd had to break that well-loved possession in two, and recapture Decidueye in this modern device. It's a distant echo of its predecessor, wooden grooves and clunky iron replaced by smooth metal and near imperceptible seams. The weight of it is all wrong.
But despite that, it's still his partner, and that's what matters.
(The two broken halves sit in his satchel, too, carried on his person at all times. It's yet another thing he can't bring himself to let go of.)
He sighs, tracing formless shapes in the dirt. His hand finds one of the sparse clumps of grass that grow here, directly under this wide and mighty tree. Deprived of proper sun, it’s a miracle that there’s any at all.
It seems more and more likely that he’ll end up looking for Volo on his own. To get answers: not only about the stones, and the tournament, and Volo’s intentions with Arceus, but also for his own ends.
Maybe there’s still something there. A single glimpse of life in this scorched earth between them.
He doesn’t know what he’ll do then.
Where he sits, what little grass there is has grown long and ragged, as their leaves stretch and reach for the sun. He sets Decidueye’s ball down and plucks two long blades. With a few simple loops and twists, they’re deftly woven together into a knot. He considers it, looping it around his fingers; tightens it, pulling on both ends, until he can feel the entire construct threaten to snap from the force. He stops.
The thing is, no matter if it was never meant to be real, deliberately sowed, intended ultimately for harvest — it’s all the same, to Rei. He wants to keep it alive. He’s hopeful. Naive. Selfish.
For a single, impossible moment, he wonders whether this is what Arceus meant by bonds all along.
The knot goes in his satchel, where it will turn dry and brittle with time. But kept safe, unbroken, regardless. Maybe his future self will laugh at his sentimentality. Maybe, he won't remember why it’s there.
Wouldn't that be for the best?
He tucks Decidueye’s ball away, with care, then hauls himself up, both hands braced against the dusty ground. There’s dirt under his fingernails. From under the tree’s darkened canopy, he squints into the afternoon sunlight.
There’s a lot that needs to be done. He needs to train for this tournament, for one. Learn more about modern battling. Pull together a team. With that, ask Akari, and perhaps Adaman or Irida. Confront Volo, somewhere in all of this.
After that? Only Arceus knows.
One step at a time.
He finds his footing, around gnarled roots. The grass crunches underfoot. And he steps into the light.
(So maybe I was just snared by the grass knots you laid in my path. But if I wove my own, would you fall for it too?)
#finally posted this thing! further rambles and commentary in the tags#trainer rei#rei pokemon#pokemas#pokemon masters#legends arceus#volo#champion lance#pokemon volo#pokemon fanfiction#rei#lance#// tikposting#// tikart#// fanfic#// tikwrites#backstrikeduo#i've been mulling it over a while since rei's canonical pokemas characterisation Intrigues me#not telling people about Volo is sort of an objectively not smart thing to do but it makes sense !!!#rei both wanting to be friends with volo again and also not really trusting others (but especially authority) that much#rei going through his “i can fix him” era (maybe he'll end up being right! who knows! arceus maybe)#they WILL be friends (again?). whether Volo likes it or not.#experimented with metaphors; hope they didn't get too abstract or confusing#also can't believe that bits of my lance and rei convo ended up echoed in the canon cynthia and rei convo#when Rei says that Volo genuinely loves history and myths…#that was in my draft! SMH Pokemas writers have been peeking into my Google Docs XDD#spot the references to PLA! some more obvious than others#gosh can you tell this guy lives in my head rent free XDDD#feel free to ramble to me about your thoughts on them and the way the story is developing in pokemas i'm all ears#behold also my sort of insane multi hour painting that i did for my fic that isn't even 5k words long
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its crazy how coming into clinical social work, i really just thought I was up against systems and cycles of trauma....but it turns out i'm up against those two things AND other therapists. the amount of work spent correcting mistakes from other clinicians--whether with clients or during the classroom--is fucking crazy.
i totally get we're all on different journeys in terms of being clinicians. but it is insane finding out day after day of therapists and clinicians saying the worst things ever to clients. demeaning them, telling them "it's all in their head", the racism and the ableism and harm that is caused. like no fucking wonder people are afraid to seek therapy (on top of the accessibility issues). while i'm a little biased and think that at the very least clinical social work training focuses on viewing people within their environments (so not engaging in the medical/individualist models of practice that a lot of counseling programs focus on), that doesn't mean it gives every person the skills to be an effective therapist. i'm also not saying i'm the best clinician ever--I'm literally in training--but boy! it is jarring seeing how some of my peers interact in class and wondering...is that how you are with your clients??
my social work program at the very least also has a focus on anti-racism, but i know students from other programs and some of them don't even mention racism AT ALL and focus entirely on diagnosing people "correctly", or finding the perfect form of therapy to use on a client. but man, what none of these programs teach are basic life skills. wanting to be a clinician isn't enough, especially considering that an inhumane amount of people in my program are 1. so nervous about making mistakes that they lose scope of their practice 2. have so much internalized racism/white guilt to work thru 3. or they have absolutely no listening skills.
again, im not trying to make it seem like I am the number 1 clinician in the world ever. I don't even have a psych background or bachelor's in social work. my reasons for going into social work are quite selfish (I want a job that is very flexible, easily transferable, and can be done in different contexts), and the helping people part is just a plus. i'm just saying it's very jarring seeing other people in training and realizing they too are working with clients. i have conversation after conversation about these issues with other BIPOC/queer/marginalized clinicians, so I know i'm not the only person worried about some of the people that will be out of this program in a few years practicing on their own or with vulnerable populations.
#muerto talks#just rambling#maybe im just a hater virgo with a strong sense of justice#i am just forever perplexed#learning that some of my classmates believe that you can be racist to white people is crazy#learning that some of my classmates are rude and dismissive to BIPOC students but they work in BIPOC communities#learning that some of my classmates weaponize their mental illnesses as an excuse to act shitty to professors classmates or clients is craz#there are zionists??? trying to be social workers??????#i literally have classes with zionists#some people r doing a whole ass career change because they had a spiritual calling to help people??#again not saying im such a great clinician im in training just like the rest of my program#but you cannot like tell me to even try to be hopeful about some of the people who will be my collegues in a year#because i have no hope for them#and its going to take making serious mistakes for them to maybe snap out of it#and that fucking sucks#nothing in my body feels safe around those people#like idc maybe im an elitist with impossible standards#maybe im the one asking too much from these people.....#the cognitive dissonance is real in these people man
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ramble about ur favs i wanna hear abt ur thoughts -zaptrap
HAN’S INFODUMPING ABOUT JAY... START!!!!
so like sgdkdhdkdhd I say Jay and Lloyd are my “favorites” but honestly it’s so hard to pick favorites out of this skittles squad like I love EVERY character for a variety of different reasons. I was going to also infodump about Lloyd but then I started talking about Prime Empire and then this post got. Long. So. it's just Jay I may infodump about Lloyd another day especially since I'm very Conduit Brained Rn but yea yea!
this is long so i'm putting most of it under the cut so y'all don't kill me for making a huge long post
I considered putting Zane and Sora on here as well since I’d also consider them my “favs” but like this is already gonna be. A lot of. Infodumping (also i typed THIS part before I even started and decided not to yell about Lloyd because this already got long enough). Maybe I’ll make a separate post for those two hmm hmm much to consider but for now MY (technically) FAVORITE NINJAGO CHARACTER: JAY WALKER
THE SPARKPLUG WHO INVADED MY BRAIN LIKE A PARASITE
so hey his name is a pun this makes me laugh ridiculously hard every time I remember he is named. After a misdemeanor HSKSHDKFH
Jay is such an interesting case of a character for me because I started out the show not liking him. Which is. Stares at my entire account I think my feelings have changed somewhat
Jay starts out as an asshole I don’t think anyone can disagree with me there (although honestly they’re all assholes in early ninjago they bullied a ten year old and left him dangling several feet off the ground) but over the course of the show you can see him start developing into a much more interesting character. He goes from being so insecure he's faking everything about himself to someone who knows who he is and is so genuine about it
now yea we could argue about whether his character was too uwu-ified post-season 10 but this is the FUN HAN POST SO WE'RE NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT the point is you can SEE the growth that Jay has gone through and I am going to show you that growth through what I call
✨ The Skybound to Prime Empire Effect ✨
I AM SO PASSIONATE ABOUT THE IDEA THAT PRIME EMPIRE WAS WRITTEN TO BE A DIRECT PARALLEL OF SKYBOUND AND WAS CENTERED ON SHOWING HOW THE NINJA ESPECIALLY JAY HAVE GROWN THROUGHOUT THE SEASON
when season 12 rolls around we are at the point in Jay's development where he is CONFIDENT in who he is. He's a fun-loving jokester with the power of lightning and the drive to help people whenever he can. He uses jokes and humor to help alleviate tension and get people through whatever's happening. And when on his own what does he do?
BECOME AN ENTERTAINER BABEY
i like to think jay's club in prime empire was a safe haven for anyone stuck in the game who figured out hey. we Can't Leave and felt freaked about it. Also Jay would generally try and spread the word that hey something ISN'T RIGHT HERE which would lead people to want to stay with him
(totally plugging my friend's fic but this kind of thing is explored in would you like to enter prime empire by @finn-m-corvex y'all should check it out cool cool)
also the prime empire shorts which i watched all of in the midst of typing this video cuz i love them go watch them please please please jay was publically fighting the red visors which I imagine may have raised some red flags for some players
THIS SOMEHOW TURNED INTO PRIME EMPIRE INFODUMPING LMAO ANYWAYS Jay's confident! He becomes an entertainer because it's who he knows he is! And it's something that will get people hyped and having fun, which is very in-character for Jay to do! He uses those kinds of things to mask the Bad Things going on and get people remembering what's good
I've talked about this sort of thing before but that's Jay's whole philosophy as early as season 9! Which is a DIRECT contrast to how he views it in season 6, as Nadakhan puts it scarily accurately
"You make jokes to mask the fact that you're afraid"
(i was gonna grab a screenshot for that like i did with the hunted scene but netflix has bloCKED THE ABILITY TO TAKE SCREENSHOTS THE WAY I USED TO and i don't have them already and i'm too lazy to grab them from elsewhere so alas trust me he says it)
making jokes to hide your fear and using humor to remind yourself of what's good and coping with the bad are two VERY different outlooks on it
so I think this outlook is what drives him to make this glamrock persona in the first place - this is a bad situation, one he's in with other civilians, and what better way to keep him and themself safe until the others get there than throwing a big performance at a safe place!
also it's just so gender okay I want to look like Superstar Rockin' Jay so badly
it's also interesting to see his outlook on his parents change over time! In season six he finds out Ed and Edna aren't his birth parents and feels upset about it, not understanding why his birth parents would've abandoned him. In season twelve, that outlook changing is EXACTLY why Jay's able to get through to Unagami
"I was abandoned by my parents, too!... I never understood why, and I never had the chance to even ask. But I always hoped there was a good reason. What if there's a reason?"
(again curse you netflix i wanted SCREENSHOTS whatever whatever)
It's this scene that gets Unagami to calm down long enough for Milton Dyer to get there, and presumably is what stops him from just. Flattening him and Jay like a pancake.
to piggyback off of this i absolutely adore how Unagami and Jay consider each other adopted brothers in that one book I still haven't read and I hope he's in Dragons Rising at some point Unagami is my favorite "villain" (no longer a villain) in the whole show he deserves more screentime
like this is where i found out about this and it's plagued my mind ever since. i need to read. this book just for them
SO YEA OKAY Prime Empire is "Who is Jay as a Person Post-Skybound" to me also it opens up so many fascinating things about Jay. I rest my case
so backpedaling a little bit. JAY CARES SO MUCH ABOUT HIS PARENTS GUYS IT'S SO SOFT AND I'M sobs
like yea the first episode with Ed and Edna in it has Jay avoiding them like the plague but this gets explained very easily when you remember he was bullied for his home life before he became a ninja. It makes a lot more sense why he wouldn't want them around his new friends, assuming they'd react the same way. Also how was he supposed to know literally all the rest of the groups parents were either dead, presumed dead, or had a toxic relationship with their kid lmao
(Cole calling his mom kills me. Cole's mom is dead. I know they probably just didn't think that far ahead when writing the dialogue but it's so funny mans pretended to call his dead mom to get on Jay for not appreciating his parents iconic behavior)
anyways literally every episode Ed and Edna are central to (except like the one in skybound) Jay stops at nothing to protect his parents and it means the absolute world to me he's so much like them!! They raised an inventive little nerd and he will stop at nothing to make sure they're safe and it's. It's SO IMPORTANT TO ME OKAY
ALSO this is an excuse to clip my favorite piece of dialogue possibly in the entire show. Except Netflix won't let me now. So you just get the text dialogue
Jay's just fallen from the sky with a messed up eye and is incredibly distraught that all his friends are captured. And his dad just. The woRLD IS FALLING APART AND HE'S EATIN' SOUP-
Ed i love you
anyways
anways anyways this just turned into me rambling about prime empire and then Ed and Edna and a lot of disjointed other stuff but thank you for this opportunity i was going to also ramble about lloyd but i put this post in a word count and
yea i think that's enough for a tumblr post anyways! If anyone wants any like. More logically thought out and direct thoughts about characters feel free to send me asks this was fun thank u @zaptrap for this opportunity to scream about jay
#help this was. my brain is so not intact today so if this makes absolutely 0 sense i understand#i did end up watching some prime empire stuff during my ramblings and guys. the ending of that season still makes me cry#this is fully prime empire propaganda btw i need to like. talk about the season more because despite what my skybound posting would lead#y'all to believe THIS IS THE ACTUAL SEASON THAT LIVES IN MY HEAD AT ALL TIMES MOST OF MY MUTUALS ARE JUST MORE SKYBOUND BRAINED#AND IT RUBS OFF ON ME EASILY#but no prime empire is the fucking best#if i talk about jay long enough it WILL just turn into prime empire#also after I wrapped up this post i continued thinking more jay thoughts but this post is already long enough#like how jay is actually SO incredibly self-sacrificing and how he cares so much about helping people#also wow i didn't even mention his powers in that whole ramble. rare for me.#one day i wanna do!! a powers masterpost. like how i view all the ninja's elemental powers#but thats another day's project i am. So Eepy#anyways hope y'all appreciated this#also thank u serp for sending this ask which allowed me to Scream into the Void about jay walker#category 11 han moment fr#ninjago#lego ninjago#jay#jay walker#unagami#edna#ed#i have no idea if ANY of this is coherent btw#prime empire#skybound#hunted#quest for the lost powers#ask#spinjitsu screams
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Rooney Shepard (They/Them): RELIC AU
There are stranger things I've learned on the outside Separated by an open door I find it hard to reach the end of my timeline Salivating 'cause I wanted more Is this the end or is this the beginning? -Too Close/Too Late by Spiritbox
[Template Credit]
Tagging (Opt In/Out): @bbrocklesnar, @marivenah, @alexxmason, @captmactavish, @carlosoliveiraa, @socially-awkward-skeleton, @nightbloodbix, @voidika, @strangefable, @captastra, @amalkavian, @katsigian, @cassietrn, @g0dspeeed, @clicheantagonist, @cloudofbutterflies92, @direwombat, @onehornedbeast, @thedeadthree.
#cyberpunk 2077#cp2077#cyberpunk2077edit#cp2077edit#cyberpunk 2077 OC#nbvnesdays#nonbinary oc#commander rooney shepard#I won't let fear compromise who I am#OTP: It always comes right back to you#v: cyberpunk 2077#myedits#I'm still kind of finetuning the Relic AU in my head#but what I have so far is that even though Rooney didn't participate in the heist and really know about#but V calls them when they are heading to DeShawn after the heist#as V needs Rooney's help and they know (or hope) that Rooney can get them out of this fuck up#Rooney takes the Relic and tells V to lay low with some friends from their days in the military#and in the end Rooney takes the bullet meant for V#Rooney and Yorinobu still reunite the same way they do in Rooney's canon#but there is absolutely the extra layer of 'oh fuck i can't tell him about this'#and in this universe V still works with Goro because I don't think he would let go of Saburo's murder so easily#and I like to think that Rooney thinks of Johnny more as a teammate as time goes on#like even though they butt heads a lot#Rooney still feels responsible for him#and the two start to get along better#but Yorinobu is absolutely the one thing they cannot agree on#anyway#thanks for listening to my fucking unhinged ramblings in the tags#I don't think they make sense#but I can explain it more in an actual post if you want
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i need specific songs on when the pawn and who they relate to on the life series immediately.
THIS IS MY TIME \^u^/
spoiler alert. most of them link back to either traffic!impulse/clock duo or traffic!pearl (and sometimes traffic!tango) because i’m crazy and am mentally ill about them specifically >_< sorry
this is also all just my interpretations and if you want to see if these songs are applicable to your favorite characters, LISTEN TO THE ALBUM. IT’S SO GOOD.
ANYWAYS here’s my list. explanations below the cut.
on the bound: impulse (clock duo?)
to your love: impulse (clock duo)
limp: impulse (clock duo), tango (tangdubs), pearl (her + scott/divorce quartet)
love ridden: impulse (clock duo)
paper bag: impulse (clock duo), pearl (her + scott)
a mistake: impulse, pearl, tango
fast as you can: pearl (her + scott/divorce quartet)
the way things are: impulse (clock duo), pearl (her + scott/divorce quartet)
get gone: impulse (clock duo)
i know: impulse (clock duo)
on the bound:
this one specifically reminds me of 3l and dl impulse kind of centering around him putting so much faith into certain things, bdubs specifically. these decisions have never ended well for him and often get him into even deeper trouble, but he still thinks it’ll do him some good. even if something inside of him is smart enough to know it won’t.
to your love:
very liml clock duo to me. impulse just trying so hard to move on and distance himself from bdubs but seeming to still have that soft spot for him. he tries to hold his ground, stick to the promises he’s made to himself, but bdubs always seems to make him break. think back to the clock giving scene that season, how impulse crumbles and shuts up when bdubs refuses to listen to him but is still so sweet to him. bdubs never takes him seriously and it makes cutting things off so hard. even with the distance and resistance, impulse folds.
limp:
what is something impulse, tango, and pearl all have in common? the people who have hurt them just seem to refuse to take accountability! ever! hell, they even egg them on just to get a rise out of them and to vilify them later.
bdubs is the common perpetrator for two of those three. impulse and tango never wronged bdubs, and yet he betrayed them mercilessly anyway. and then he tries to paint himself as a hero and saint later, deny his sins to their faces, laugh at them. he fondles their trigger and blames their gun. gives them a reason to get revenge and gets mad when they do it.
very similar with dl pearl, it’s kind of self explanatory. even if she wasn’t perfect, she’s never given any closure and her life is actively made worse by those just as bad as her. they claim to be above her, to have some moral high ground, even when they abandoned her just like they accused her of doing. and they never fail to hold it above her head.
love ridden:
more clock duo, just following their relationship as it slowly but surely falls apart. they just don’t work, no matter how hard they try to push down the problems and start over. they have such a beautiful relationship arc to me, and this song specifically reminds me of how liml serves as their breakup. impulse finally puts his foot down and realizes he can’t put up with bdubs anymore. he’s not his soulmate or husband anymore. he’s just bdubs. and that’s okay. they’ll both move on one day.
paper bag:
oh, the pain of wanting someone so badly but knowing you can’t because they only hurt you. even attempting to make things work is futile. all hope is done in vain. so maybe it’s better to not hope at all.
which is why i think it fits liml clock duo very well (the first verse being the disappointment impulse felt during either his 3l or dl death, you choose). impulse, despite everything, is desperate to make something work. and he tries, but bdubs just refuses to do the same. impulse and his trauma is the mess he doesn’t want to clean up. and every time he tries to get closure, to talk to bdubs about how he feels, it’s shut down. bdubs just doesn’t seem to understand and can’t take him seriously. impulse thought he was a man, but he was just a little boy. so he turns to starving, to distancing himself, to abandoning that hope. it hurts, but it works.
and dl pearl! funny coincidence that the song references a star and scott is associated with those. she’s still lingering on the good things they had in last life and has that hope that it might be the same this time around, but it isn’t. scott hates her, and y’know what? she hates him, too. because she has to. he denies her feelings and calls her crazy, how can she not hate him? she’s forced to distance herself for her own sake and his by extension. she’s the mess he doesn’t want to clean up. that he doesn’t want to face and accept. it’s killing them both, but if starving is what it takes to survive, she’ll do it. she has to. he left her no choice.
a mistake:
i love when normally relatively level headed and smart characters go batshit. that should happen a lot more often. please.
this song has and continues to remind me so much of traffic!impulse, specifically his ll, liml, and wl variants. he’s forced to be responsible and mature and good all the time, it’s exhausting. so when he starts going array, he can’t stop himself. it feels so good letting lose, dabbling in the chaos, letting that imperfection shine through. impulse is a kind person at heart, of course, but he’s just so tired. why does he have to always be the bigger person? why can’t he just make a mistake? and he will always be vilified for this, which is all the more encouragement. if they’re going to treat him like the bad guy, he might as well give them a reason.
this song reminds me of pearl (dl + wl) and tango (liml + wl) for very similar reasons. they are so often made out to be a bad person whenever they act out of line, even if that out of line is just acting like everybody else or having a valid reaction to being wronged or hurt. a person can only take so much demonization before they crack and be the villain they’re painted as. what’s the point in being good if nobody even cares?
fast as you can:
dl pearl time! she cannot catch a break and neither can her soulmate and the rest of the quartet (and anybody else caught in the crossfire). she is crazy and she is messy and she is ruthless. it’s all she’s allowed to be given her circumstances. and towards the end, when she has to band together with those people who drove her to that state, it’s hard. she can’t just forgive them for all they put her through, but she won’t deny that it’s nice having a place in the group. being taken care of. having someone sacrifice themself for you. but the fight is never over. she’ll always be choking on “why”s.
it also kind of reminds me of clock duo and tangdubs, but that’s just me being crazy. i don’t think it warrants an in-depth explanation.
the way things are:
imagining being stuck with someone who’s hurt you so badly, having to stomach being by their side because you can’t escape them. that could ABSOLUTELY be impulse and pearl.
honestly for clock duo, it reminds me more of liml than dl, despite the soulbound. but there’s definitely still some footing in the latter. impulse is still linked to bdubs, even if the soulbound is broken. and it’s hard being apart the next season, but it’s for the best, impulse knows that. he hopes that eventually all the pain and suffering will be worth it. that he’ll be able to move on. and y’know what? he does. he’s forced to bear every dismissed concern and unreasonable excuse and betrayal, and it hurts, but he moves on.
very similar for dl pearl, especially at the end of the season. she ends up teaming with the people she hates the most because she kind of has to. she knows it’s her best bet, even if it’s nauseating. and it’s hard, fighting on their behalf, by their side. but she manages. even with all the name calling and victim blaming and fighting, she moves on as well. maybe not entirely, but enough to get her through the season and the ones to follow.
get gone:
this is one of THE liml clock duo breakup anthems to me. impulse just wants bdubs gone. he’s put up with his shit for too long, and he can’t do it anymore, and he’s completely in the right for that. because he tried. he tried to make things work and talk about their issues and come back stronger, but bdubs just won’t listen. and impulse is tired of waiting for him to. he’s tired of sitting around, hoping bdubs will care, praying he’ll change. impulse knows now what is good for him, and it’s not bdubs. and he can only take so much of that man before he just can’t anymore. before that price needs to be paid. before he makes sure bdubs finally pays it.
i know:
clock duo are never beating the dysfunctional and miscommunication allegations. impulse knows what bdubs did. bdubs knows what he did, too. he just won’t admit it. and for a long while, impulse is able to handle that, even if it aches. he lets bdubs ignore their past, ignore all the mistakes he’s made, all of what he’s ruined. but eventually impulse realizes he can’t let him bury it any longer. it’s not helping either of them. he’ll be there if bdubs does confess, but if he doesn’t, that’s whatever. impulse will be gone by then. hopefully.
#the box#mars rambles#i don’t even know how to tag this#sorry this took so long anon#i was putting it off until i felt better so i could explain it somewhat coherently#and these blurbs don’t even do my thoughts justice#but i hope they still make some sense#i drew traffic!impulse as the when the pawn album cover for a reason#trafficshipping#even if not all of the songs and my interpretations are shippy#clock duo#impdubs#tangdubs#do scott and pearl have a duo name#galaxy duo#i think that’s it if it’s not i’m sorry#divorce quartet#trafficblr
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mindless rambling in tags don't mind me
#not art post#rambling in tags because i can and its MY BLOG#anyway its about tdp *waits* ok for the three of you that actually care#someone retweeted one of my threads from 2019 after s2 dropped (imo the BEST tdp season) and i reread it#and tbh i am still right about viren's characterization#obviously canon changed some things but TO BE REAL..... i dont care what the writers say bc i had beef since s3#how am i supposed to believe any viren and callum parallels and callbacks when they..... havent talked since when?#and uhhh viren's demise lol i expected it but wow i am not happy with the lead up to it#more cool and eloquent people put it in better words on twitter and probably tumblr too idk i just say things and hope they make sense#anyway viren is still the very real traumatized angry severely depressed old man from s2... his life was just revealed to be so much worse#like damn. he was poor he was orphan he got divorced and then a stupid mirror started ruining his life even more#yes the mirror was the start of it why do you think aaravos revealed himself after viren's firey break down#aaravos went i can make him worse and ran with it#should viren go to prison? yeah i never once denied that lmao but god he and his family were really the ones to suffer in the show#at least viren is gone so i can just *plucks him out of the dirt and morphs him into my own oc* (im for real)#i got maybe more to say but this is long and im lazy and im not too smart so i will just move on#i will watch s7................................... i GUESS and if you find salt i will probably be there lol
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this tree from my new drawing looking goated afffffff 👑👑
#yes this is a nel/vas drawing get off me😂#text#i wanted everyone to see it but also since i draw on paper in total silence i think a lot about everything so i wanted to voice some -#- thoughts too's. tbh i've been veeery self indulgent lately#actually i'm happy that n*lv*s is getting actual hits out of me that i like looking at#especially on-paper stuff that i can recall being fun for me to draw. all traditional art is fun to draw#and digital has turned into an actual task for me (only sometimes tho maybe i;m lying.. mspaint we're still bffs)#i think i just don't see the joy in trying to scrap up a ''' finished ''' piece in an art program .. pencil i love you and i love the -#- feeling of it scratching along the paper....sigh............ Rabu#i don't want my blog or thoughts to turn into traditional art suck-off ventures bc ik not everyone can get into it for many possible -#- reasons but if u feel like it U can ok? do it for Pencil✏️ and for me? for silusvesuius? 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚#but Lord i hope i don't also come off as one of those people that r like 'to improve in art just draw that one fictional character u -#- rly like 😂😂' bruh gtfo my face with that.#i'm noticing 'improvement' in my stuff mainly...i think... because i'm always striving to impress#not so much other people that are here just for my art but more so myself#i have a very huge ego (Mind Battle)#also it makes me sad to think about how big egos or genuine (not obnoxious) flauntiness are looked down on#and i can tell bc i used to look down on people that would express the things i'm expressing now#especially in art focused spaces. now i'd rather be in a circle of artists that love to J*rk off their own brain for it's ideas -#-and talent than be w/ very self-conscious artists that are never expressing pride about any of their work#worse if it's to the point where they actively start to fish for compliments bc of it#fishing for compliments is always OK i just wish it didn't stem from insecurity in that context if that makes sense#but maybe that's very easy for me to say and admit bc i did develop a very big ego around my art and ... Creativity? like it's a sims skill#not that i still don't seek out 'attention' or compliments from others to soothe myself but hmmmmmm i hope u feel me.#it just turns me into a very competitive person#who am i competing with? Myself#i'm always in 'you can do better Because you're YOU' mode#which is much better i believe than comparing yourself 2 other artists#i don't think a lot of people read my tag ramblings but if u do i wonder how one feels about a very pompous artist#like me .......(?)
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Hi this is where I talk a bunch about ocs :D
I dont have a lot of time lately to talk abt lore but i still think abt my guys whenever i have some chill time to myself, so here's some patch notes. This is also just me thinking out loud haha
CD:
ive been playing w some changes for CD and seeing if they stick :] gonna make the story slightly more complex and the sides of the conflict also different (for example I am going to make hades and talas full on enemies at first along with connon, caval and silas >:3 (and I am also making silas and his monster form two separate characters so the lion (hal) is now a mount instead))
Specifically what I've been thinking about is making Hades either a ship captain or a first mate for a rogue ship. The deal with Hades is that he comes from a renowned family from Redbridge and is a disgrace to them. In previous versions of CD they were artisans but that never rly clicked for me, and recently I have been reworking Redbridge into a naval empire to add some 🤏spice 🤏to the world, which would mean Hades' family is actually a naval captain family putting him next in line to be one of them but since his thing is being a disgrace he takes off and becomes a rogue. And instead of hating leviathans he fucking hates hunters instead. Conversely, I think with these changes Talas would also NOT be inclined to kill hunters (or at least not as often as he currently does). He'd pick fights with the naval fleet and other similar factions instead which is more like his character.
I also wanna try and bring back an older concept I had where connon's ship was able to both become fully submerged (like the subs in sunless sea where her character originated from) and this other idea I had where a ship could split in half into two smaller ships. Like if a catamaran could split into two and flank a vessel on both sides. But we'll see if I can make this work x)
Dragons (broken horizon + extinction):
I vaguely mentioned this a while ago as well but I've also been thinking abt my dragons and how I kinda want them to all be in one world/setting, which includes both my broken horizon guys (cer, jarek, octane, etc) and my extinction guys (alex, c, orion, etc) but I dont know how to deal with all of the conflicting lore and themes.
Because for extinction the big theme is there are people who can turn into dragons, and technically all of the dragons' powers are based on energy (for lore reasons). Meanwhile for my other dragons I have a few different elements or other ways of using fire (eg instead of using straight up fire/energy, my oc Jarek can breathe out gas only and ignites it with his mandibles).
I miss all my dragons a lot so I kinda wanted to make a world for them where I could have them Vibe and do different stories in so I thought about having a dragon-only universe but unfortunately Extinction has a pretty huge human element that I cant just eliminate.
It feels counterintuitive, i know the first logical choice is 'just let them be different things' but I genuinely feel like the right choice is to put them both together so the characters can interact and the whole story can be deeper because as it is both are really shallow and I would really like for them to work together so that's what I've been picking at for some months now (it's um. been real slow)
For these two stories I do have two different vibes though that I've been wondering how to weave together nicely bc they overlap for some characters. For broken horizon I had flying and aerial racing as a big theme (and some of the chars in extinction would be rly into that) and for extinction I had dragon arena fights as a big theme (and some of the characters in bh would be rly into that) both of these is another of the reasons why I wanted to put them both together bc it feels like they can fit very well I just have to find the right idea for them to click and then itll be smooth sailing -w-
I also wanted to talk abt this in hopes that talking abt all the dragons gets me to think more about them as well
I wanted to make this post bc I've been really busy lately and rly absent from here in general and I don't have as much time to draw (or even think abt ocs) anymore but I still wanted to keep posted about what's been going on in my head and hopefully get some eyes on it and maybe even some feedback if anyone is so inclined
If u read this whole thing thank u i owe you my life fr I hope u enjoyed reading abt my patch notes :D and hopefully sometime in the future I can get back to drawing concepts and stuff or maybe even writing stuff
#thunderclap#oc ramble#challenger deep#broken horizon#long post#whew this took so long to write and i dont even know if its gonna make ANY sense to anyone auuggggg#ive been thinking a lot about CD in my off time recently I want to make it GOOD i wanna make it COMPLEX i have a lotta good insp lately#so im hoping to make some good and much needed changes#and i also think abt my dragons a lot they just like. float at random in my head in cool scenes and i have no way to bring it all together#AND THAT MAKES ME MAD!!! THIS IS MY HOUSE!! I SHOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE IT FIT AUUUGGHGHHHH!!!!#i also think abt octane and alex being rivals a lot now it actually fits so much. radioactive bitches. fusion vs fission.#generation vs combustion. white and black. both still orange. please please i need this to work sooo bad#ALSO C AND ARC AND JAREK AND DIMA WOULD GET ALONG SO WELL I KNOW IT I DO AUGH
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Some rambling about the Singers and Fused:
I just started Rhythm of War in my stormlight reread and I’m at the part where Kaladin fights Leshwi for the first time in the narrative. Attention is drawn to the fact that the Fused will pair off with the Windrunners and fight to the death in honorable single combat. I’m really interested to see where Brandon is going with this for the rest of the series.
To me, this feels like a setup for something.
First, one of the character development arcs that Brandon seems to like is the idea that fighting is not glorious, even if you decide that your cause is worth fighting for (Vin, Vivenna, and Hrathen go through iterations of this arc, and Wax seems to have had this realization sometime in the roughs and Nomad explicitly verbalizes it).
Second, as many people have pointed out, Kaladin might see honor in the actions of the Fused, but the humans are the aggressors in every way. I’m thinking specifically of this post by @to-shards-you-say because yeah. Why are the Fused so obsessed with their idea of honor? What makes their view of honor ‘right’? Jasna has circled around this topic and so has Taravangian. If the Fused were truly goal driven, they could have crushed human resistance in the beginning by ganging up on the radiants. They seem to be more concerned with their methods than their goal, and it comes across as undervaluing the lives of the Singers.
Maybe I have too much faith in Brandon, but that seems like a bit of a stretch for someone who loves the message that fighting isn’t glorious. What is this obsession with honor that the Fused have if not an insistence that fighting be glorious? It’s like Brandon is playing with the tropes around propaganda and the glory of war. He goes through such lengths to personize all parties that I find it hard to believe that he would really showcase such simplistic black and white understanding on the ethics of violence.
However, it is VERY in character for Kaladin - and other Vorin influenced characters especially- to have this idea that killing is ‘fair’ as long as you follow all the right rules. That’s straight up military propaganda, especially from a USAmerican perspective. ‘War is a game that can be won and there is moral superiority in playing fair’ ‘We know we are the good guys because we play war by The Rules that we wrote’ and I would really like to know if that is a worldview on Brandon’s part or the Rosharins. I hope it’s an intentional setup for a shift in the Rosharins worldview and a little more nuance on the ethics of violence. That does seem like the kind of thing Brandon would enjoy.
(Just to be explicit, I don’t believe that ethics go out the window in violence. I would say the ethics of violence don’t hinge on being ‘fair’ as much as they hinge on causing the minimum amount of harm possible. How you decide what justifies causing harm is another conversation entirely.)
I also want to know if the splintering of Honor has anything to do with it. If I’m remembering correctly, Honor was consumed by his shard as Odium killed him and he became increasingly rigid and started viewing things in black and white. If Odium was the one who killed Honor, and Honor was the original god of the Singers, what would the Fused be like under the influence of Odium? Or with the corrupted influence of Honor. Could it be that Odium influenced their madness in that direction?
#stormlight archive#rhythm of war#rhythm of war spoilers#stormlight archive spoilers#my thoughts#meta#rambling#hopefully this makes sense#I hope we get some closure on these themes in the future
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Love being an arcane warrior in dao i love swinging a giant maul around and being in armour but also casting walking nightmare and horror on my enemies i think swords are cooler but the affect of a maul is funnier than big sword in my opinion. I have like 3 affects (at the minimum) going on at all times and then i do an aoe chug some lyrium just in case and bludgen some guy to death. What.
#dao#dragon age origins#dao surana#dragon age#i havent drawn athima in a while bc im busy w zine stuff but. you bet when im done (hopefully this week) im drawing them sm#idk theyre a silly guy#also my quest dlcs arent working? and when i look shit up it doesnt make sense#im not a tech savvy person is the issue here#anyway- athima my beloved#just met goldanna which was a bust#and im hoping i dont accidentally harden alistair idk how id do it accidentally but.#i wouldnt be surprised if i did#kimda sad you dont get to explain to goldanna that alistair did not in fact live in the royal palace#and that currently all he has is the ppl w him and the clothes on his back#since the arl is still fucked up rn#idk she assumes a lot about him and i wish you could explain stuff to her#cuz its like. i get her perspective she lives a shit life with what 5 kids?#like yeah if i thought my brother was better off than me then id want some help#however she just. assumes hes lived the worlds lushest life#when that isnt the case?#and ik its like. a part of the wholw him standing up for himself thing i think?#idk i read some stuff bc i like to know what im getting into but still be a bit surprised#so. idk man#athima is goin through it too get these guys some therapy#anyway im done rambling in my tags now
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“why am i losing followers” *talks about daniel like he’s dead and buried*
#daniel ricciardo#dr3#f1#formula 1#the way some of yall have flipped in the last 24 hrs is fucking batshit#im about to go on an unfollow spree like#bitch my hope is long gone but I still believe in him what the fuck#why yall writing his obituary for smfh get OUT#joey rambles#also also my hope situation is bc my mental health is shit in general atm okay he had one bad quali so fucking what#they said two days ago this is NOT I repeat NOT his last race#if you turn your brain back on you’ll realize why that wouldn’t make a fucking tad sense yall just choose to be idiots at this point#fuck you fuck you fuck you#okay done now#if you’re offended unfollow me idgaf you don’t believe in him anyway good riddance#ALSO my hope is gone with vcarb treating him right not with him and his abilities!!
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i'm carwens! how do you interpret abierto/open? don't need to answer of course but it's genuine curiosity bcs spanish is my first language and abierto is about someone who starts conversations, keeps them going and listens... extroverted is a synonym.
Hi there, of course I'll answer!
If anyone's interested, this is about my tags here. Spanish is the last language I acquired and I'm not as sure of it as I am of my other languages, which is why I was wondering whether I was maybe overreacting to that word or reading too much into it. But if you as a native speaker would use extroverted as a synonym then I wasn't!
Because here's the thing: personally, I don't see Carlos as particularly extroverted. Yeah I know, he has the happy puppy vibes and is often openly emotional and seems to wear his heart on his sleeve, and those are all things where you could concievably use 'abierto' I guess. But those things don't necessearily make him extroverted/outgoing though? It's not a clear-cut concept of course but in my book being extroverted can also mean things like: that you gather people around you a lot and that you are the one who takes the initiative/leads in group dynamics. But is that really Carlos? (You said it's someone who starts conversations... but how often does he actually do that?)
The word Cascales used to describe Juanki was 'shy' and for me that's a word that would fit Carlos as well in lots of situations. I think he actually treads quite carefully often when he's in a group or when he interacts with someone he admires or whom he isn't sure of. He isn't reserved in the way someone like Jannik is reserved, he has a very different way of expressing himself, but to me he isn't open in every sense of the word - which is why I was saying it really depends on how you interpret 'abierto'.
#i hope that makes some sense!#if not blame it on the fact that i am still operating on a massive lack of sleep from my travels yesterday#and the last week in general#tennis asks#bluespring asked and answered#thanks for the ask i do love to ramble :)
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