#i hope i will be forgiven and loved as i learn to come home to myself

[spacefarersage]

guilt

[marvelsmylife]

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

Pairing: Azriel x reader

Plot: After the events at your dance recital, Azriel will stop at nothing until you forgive him. Even if it means begging on his knees.

Warning: more and more angst, begging, Cassian having to step in to get his brother under control

A/n this is part two to Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don’t. I really leaned on the trope where the male fae spirals while the female fae heal and thrive without their mate. Since it’s me though, this does have a happy ending for the reader and the shadowsinger. Also, there will be one more part to this.

Part One Part Three Bonus Scene

ACOTAR Masterlist

Request

What was meant to be a few days apart turned into two years. No matter how much you wanted to forgive Azriel for what he did, you couldn’t get past the fact he thought you were cheating on him. You tried explaining that to him, but he didn’t want to hear it. He justified his actions by saying if you would have been home more, he wouldn’t have thought those things.

That, in turn, caused you to make the heartbreaking decision to move out of the home you shared with Azriel. Azriel desperately tried to backpedal and apologize, but it was too late. 

You packed your stuff and moved out within three days. With the help of Rhysand, you moved into a highly secure apartment. In Rhysand’s words: “You need to be in a highly secured building. Even if you are no longer with Azriel, you are still his mate, and unfortunately, that means you have a target on your back.”

The others in the inner circle were trying to convince you to move in with them. They knew you were in a vulnerable state mentally and didn’t want to leave you alone. You ultimately told them you needed to live on your own for a while but that they were more than welcome to visit you in your new apartment. 

You didn’t dare visit them at their homes though. Some of them begged you to visit and even offered to ban Azriel from their home but you refused. You told them that it wouldn’t be right, seeing as Azriel was friends with them way before you came into their lives.

Because of that, Everyone in the inner circle gave Azriel the cold shoulder for a few weeks. They were livid when they discovered what happened between you and Azriel.

Even Elain, who didn’t have a mean bone in her, scolded Azriel for his actions: “How could you do that to y/n! She’s been nothing but kind and loving towards you. You're lucky I'm not your mate. I would never forgive you,” Elain told Azriel in an angry tone. She despised Azriel the most out of everyone for what he did to you. You were the one Elain spent the most time with, and she really loved your company. Now that you asked for space and stopped visiting them, she started spending time with Cerridwen and Nuala. Which wasn’t a bad thing, she loved them dearly as well, but she missed your little chats about your day: “Let’s hope your mate is more forgiven than me.”

While Azriel was suffering without you in his life, you were living your best life without him.

With the help of Rhysand, you decided to open your own dance studio and started teaching children who couldn’t afford to attend your old dance instructor classes for free. 

It was hard at first, but with help from your dance friends and even your old instructor, who eventually apologized for banning you because of Azriel’s actions. He was so happy when he learned you were opening a dance studio for children who couldn’t afford it and even offered to come by every few weeks to teach at your studio. “You are an angel for teaching these kids for free,” your old instructor commented after finishing his class in your studio.

Every now and then, though, you would cross paths with Azriel when you would leave your dance studio, and every time he, would make a scene while he pleaded for you to forgive him.

“I told you not to make a scene in public, especially in front of my studio. You’re making my student uncomfortable,” you tried not to show you were furious at him for his action.

Before Azriel had the opportunity to reply, Cassian and Feyre made their way through the crowd that was now formed around you. “I’m sorry about my brother. I’ll try harder to keep him from coming over here,” Cassian apologized while peeling his brother off of you. Feyre stayed back for a few minutes to make sure you were ok and even offered to walk you back to your apartment, but you reassured her that you were ok.

You managed to avoid him for a week before you came face to face with him again during Elains dinner party, where she and Lucien introduced everyone to their twins.

Elain sent you an apologetic look when you realized Azriel was at the dinner party. You smiled weakly at the new mother before you took your seat between Amren and Cassian and across from Mor.

You felt Azriel’s gaze on you the entire dinner. He looked like utter shit, but he didn’t care, not when it’s been a week since he tried to speak to you again.

You tried your hardest to ignore his stare, but you also couldn’t help but glance at him and really took in his disheveled state. His usually clean-shaven face had stubble with dark circles under his eyes. It took every once in you not to rush over to him and wrap your arms around your mate. The only thing stopping you was the flashback of him accusing you of cheating on him.

After dinner, everyone sat around to pass the twins around. Halfway through the night, you decided to step out and get some fresh air. Unfortunately for you, Azriel took it upon himself to sneak out with you when no one noticed. You were so wrapped up in your thoughts about how awkward you felt being around Azriel that you didn’t realize Azriel decided to hug you from behind. “What the fuck! !” you shouted and broke out of the hug: “Azriel, what are you doing out here!”

Azriel dropped to his knees and hugged your legs out of desperation: “My love, please forgive me. I miss you so much. I can’t function without you in my life.”

“Get up. Everyone is staring at us,” you gritted through your teeth when you looked up and noticed everyone staring at the two of you from inside the house.

“I don’t care,” Azriel argued back: “All I care about is you forgive me.”

Rhysand, Cassian, and Lucien looked like they were about to walk over and pull your mate off you, but you signaled them to not intervene. Instead, you knelt down and cupped Azriel’s face: “Azriel,” you felt yourself tearing up: “You have to stop this.”

“I can’t,” Azriel placed his hands on top of yours: “I can’t function without you. I finally understand where I went wrong, and I’m so sorry I’ve caused you so much distress.”

“I’m so happy you realized it,” you replied, resting your forehead against his: “I just need you to give me time and space. Every time you show up and make a scene outside my studio, you reset my progress of forgiving you. Can you please just give me a few more days? Please.”

“I can do that,” Azriel whispered. “Do you think we’ll ever get back to how we used to be?” Azriel asked hopeful.

“Eventually,” you replied honestly. And that was enough for him to keep going, knowing that you will eventually be a family again. 

@byyalady @sheblogs @janebirkln @starsinyourseyes @cumuluscranium @honeybee54321 @pussyistasty-blog @azriels-shadowsinger @anuttellaa @pussyistasty-blog @fightmedraco @aunicornmademedoit @esposadomd @thelov3lybookworm @harrystylesfan2686 @sarawritestories @fxckmiup @sleepylunarwolf @mochibabycakes @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @stargirl1714 @tenshis-cake @tele86 @63angel @sagskylar01 @i-am-infinite @kristin813 @one-big-fangirl

[goodnightmemes]

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE SEASON ONE SENTENCE STARTERS (PART TWO)

episodes: s01e05 - s01e07

❛ I'm trying to think of something more fucked up than this. ❜

❛ Stay out of my head. ❜

❛ I care for him more than he cares for himself. ❜

❛ A whole lot of concern's been wasted on you these past months. ❜

❛ Where are the bodies? ❜

❛ Well, then, I guess you better hope and pray you taught me how to clean up good. ❜

❛ You gonna let him do this to me? ❜

❛I'm never gonna forget what happened here. I hate you both. ❜

❛ Sounds like there's a maniac on the loose. ❜

❛ So much wine in his blood. And beer and whisky. ❜

❛ Happy? We were not happy. ❜

❛ Who am I supposed to love? ❜

❛ Why can't I make one? No matter how much blood I give them, they just lie there gaspin'. ❜

❛ What is this? Look at me. What have you done? ❜

❛ If you could find them, which you won't, they would shred you to strips, because you are built like a bird - because you are a mistake. ❜

❛ He treats us like shit and you take it! Why is that? ❜

❛ Been following you. You ain't been your careful self. ❜

❛ Don't... Don't run off. ❜

❛ Poor dear. She wasn't held enough in between ritualistic murders. ❜

❛ Once you put it out there, they decide what it is. It can get away from you. ❜

❛ Assume we are under suspicion. ❜

❛ We should leave the city, start anew. ❜

❛ Should I do like you instead? Read the first pages of every book, pass myself off as cultured? ❜

❛ You draw me into your gloom. ❜

❛ So, quick stop home to do laundry before you fuck off for good. ❜

❛ If what I've read is lies, then tell me what's true. ❜

❛ The vampires out there are vicious. Oh...but you've learned that already. ❜

❛ Come with me!  I thought I could live without you, but I was wrong. ❜

❛ His love is a small box he keeps you in. Don't stay in it. ❜

❛ I fought myself a million times, fought my nature, controlled my temper. I never once harmed you. ❜

❛ Let him go. It's me you want. ❜

❛ Listen to me, and listen very carefully, my infant death. It was never you. ❜

❛ I have patiently waited in vain for you to love me... as I love you. ❜

❛ Just say it. Say, "I am never going to love you". It would help me a great deal to hear that from your lips...your quivering...hateful lips. ❜

❛ Excruciating pain was the proof I was still alive. ❜

❛ You know he's a vampire, right? ❜

❛ NDAs signed by any and all who cross the threshold, eh? ❜

❛ Are you still dreaming about our first meeting? ❜

❛ Are we the sum of our worst moments? Can we be forgiven if we do not forgive others ourselves? ❜

❛ You gonna be my knight in vengeful black? ❜

❛ Save your charity for the needful. ❜

❛ I was someone I don't want to be anymore. I've changed. Let me prove it to you. I'm nothing without you. ❜

❛ If you want me to go away, just say so. I'll obey you. I'll leave your life forever. ❜

❛ This silence is cruel. And you were never cruel. ❜

❛ Write me a song and put your lover's voice on it? What the fuck is wrong with your head? ❜

❛ Put some clothes on and get the fuck out. ❜

❛ The vampire bond. There is no human equivalent. Lover, murderer, maker. ❜

❛ It's a bond that can never fully be severed. A bond like that makes you believe there are only two of you on the planet. ❜

❛ I cried. I called to God. I didn't want this. But I have a capacity for enduring. ❜

❛ We leave the damage so we never forget the damage. ❜

❛ She's grown very protective of me. ❜

❛ I ask these questions because I'm trying to understand you better. ❜

❛ I'm sorry for your losses. ❜

❛ I admire your steadfast pursuit of a game you clearly have no acumen for. ❜

❛ You're ugly when you act like that. ❜

❛ They don't appreciate you like I do. ❜

❛ You're like me. You like to laugh. ❜

❛ Well, now that I'm dead, I can be whoever I want. ❜

❛ I seek refuge from complaints when I visit you, dear. ❜

❛ He's the father of lies. ❜

❛ This life, it does a number on the head, on the soul... if we even have a soul. ❜

❛ When he hurts you again, and he will, come find me. ❜

❛ You don't need me. You think you do, but you don't. You're smarter now. You see trouble coming a mile away. ❜

❛ You left without saying goodbye. Again. ❜

❛ Back in your cage, sweetheart. ❜

❛ We endure each other for [name]’s happiness. ❜

❛ I love you. I don't say it often enough anymore. ❜

❛ You threaten a life which will endure till the end of the world. ❜

❛ Are you a narc? ❜

❛ I want to interview you. ❜

❛ So...question. Can an immortal meet mortality? ❜

❛ We would spend our hours enduring, with little pretense of getting along, locked together in hatred. ❜

❛ Knowledge is the ocean's edge. ❜

❛ They say that Satan lives in this house. ❜

❛ Well, send Saint Peter our regards. ❜

❛ We have to leave this place. ❜

❛ Maybe start by telling me the plan? ❜

❛ You spend an hour alone with him and you're breathing in sync together. ❜

❛ I'll lose myself in him. ❜

❛ You irritate me. Your very presence irritates me. ❜

❛ I came to make peace with you. ❜

❛ No one's comin' to a party thrown by freaks. ❜

❛ You're gonna try to kill him at this party? ❜

❛ I mean, this is all good and... sufficiently creepy. What do you want? ❜

❛ Would you like to know the secret of immortality? ❜

❛ I wanted him dead. I wanted him all to myself. ❜

❛ I'm going to miss this place. ❜

❛ I was his, and he was mine. ❜

❛ Always the petty slights with you. ❜

❛ We are joined by a cord, by a cord that you cannot see, but it is real. It is real. ❜

❛ I have loved you...with all myself. ❜

❛ I'm happy it was you...here with me…at the end. ❜

❛ This horror that had been [name]...I stared helplessly at it. The thing lay still. ❜

❛ Murder? What murder? It was an act of mercy. ❜

❛ You didn't kill him. You spared him, out of some fucked-up idea you had about love. ❜

❛ We have to burn him. It's the only way we'll know! ❜

❛ You don't need a memoir. You need a hundred sessions of EMDR. ❜

❛ You've only heard half the story. ❜

❛ This time, I won't save your life. ❜

[merakiui]

Thinking about soft non con with the tweels... maybe you yawned in front of them or something and they get really excited about it

Omg omg omg what if they were your childhood bullies??? OTL I am so weak for the trope of childhood bully who tormented darling in their childhood and then they both grow up and suddenly they love darling even more now because darling has grown so pretty. <3

Tweels come back to visit for the spring break and it's a tradition of theirs to track you down and pay you a little visit. :) they always find you, no matter how well you may hide or camouflage yourself. It's been a while since they've last seen you. In fact, they haven't stayed true to their annual tradition because learning how to survive on land occupied most of their energy, time, and thoughts. Due to that, you were spared the headache for the year. But now they're back in their home, feeling so relieved to finally get back into the water in their true forms, and as they're checking on their old haunts you pop into their brains. The twins aren't telepathic by any means, but sometimes you might think they are when they're always running on the same brain cell. Naturally, they have to find you.

And they do! And oh aren't you just the prettiest thing? You're glowing with the addictive allure brought on by spring mating cycles. Soon you'll likely go off into some secretive nook, hole yourself away for however long your cycle lasts, and get rid of all of the unfertilized eggs you've undoubtedly made in preparation of the mating season. You've grown a considerable amount, but you're still nowhere near as strong or big as them. <3 they circle you in the water, all sharp-toothed grins. Floyd drapes himself on you lazily, complaining about how it was no fair that you didn't come to visit, how he missed being able to tease and squeeze his favorite Shrimpy. Though Jade isn't as verbally direct as his brother, his eyes are scanning you, most definitely noting all of the subtle physical signs many mers exhibit when they're on the cusp of their cycle. You're too cute, parading yourself around like this. Were you hoping they'd come find you and take care of you?

It's obvious you're averse to them, attempting to keep this conversation as short as possible. But the twins pay it no mind. They have to make up for the lost time, so why not spend the afternoon catching up with them? Show them around a bit, won't you? Take them to your favorite places! They'll gladly follow your lead, but then you have no choice because even if you swim away with the intention of leaving they're just going to pursue.

Floyd asks if you're still so hung up on all those years they bullied you. Maybe that's why you seem like a prey shaken to the core after nearly evading a predator's vicious maw. Of course you'd be hung up on that! They made your life miserable. If Floyd wasn't pestering you for a few of your scales and if Jade wasn't trailing you like an innocent guppy (which is very false; behind that guppy veneer was a cruel bully), then they were both intimidating you into giving up things. Whenever birthdays rolled around, you were the first on their list. They'd swim up to you, entirely casual, and slyly mention how it was their birthday and even if they didn't directly state it you knew their expectant stares told you they wanted something. You'd lost all sorts of things to them: spoils from exploring shipwrecks, your own allowance, jewelry, pretty stones, your scales, and even your first kiss (which Floyd had taken rather roughly after another bully had shoved you and he'd gotten monstrously territorial. Supposedly, only he and Jade are allowed to torment you. Why he felt the need to kiss you to prove his dominance, you have no clue, but he did and you still haven't forgiven him for it).

So you hate their leering when they follow you, flanking you like twin parasites. Floyd fills the tense silence with his own chatter and Jade occasionally makes his own comments or responds to some of Floyd's ramblings. Their eyes stick to you like barnacles; you hate it. You always feel so small and powerless with them around. Having to balance a duo like this is so draining, so it's only natural you'd get tired. You're yawning a lot, and stress and anxiety aren't helping. It also doesn't help that your cycle is nearing and so you've become even more jittery since. The twins are staring at your mouth, at every little opening and closing of it, and at some point Floyd can't take it anymore. He grips your jaw, wraps himself around you to keep you still, and mumbles about how it's not very nice of Shrimpy to be such a tease during spring. Don't you know how special this season is? You do because you're a mer, so obviously you must have wanted this. Why else would you take them to such a quiet, desolate cave?

The twins know very well you're just tired, but that doesn't stop them from crafting their own narrative, which they speak about so freely.

"Someone's rather eager, wouldn't you agree, Floyd?"

He nods, his tone spotted with giggles. "Seems Shrimpy couldn't wait for us to get back. Was it tough havin' to carry so many eggs? Ya better get used to it because you'll only get heavier!"

Perhaps you could have evaded one of them, but two is a deadly combination. And though they're both so strong, they're incredibly gentle with handling you. But then you're too frightened to oppose them and put up a fight, and Jade and Floyd don't want to risk injuring you or the eggs. They're not entirely mean! :( they love you and want to be sweet and affectionate with you. So when they exchange kisses with you, taking turns rutting into you and filling you with lots of slick and cum, it's always gently. Floyd cradles your belly, clawed, webbed hands tracing the loveliest patterns into it. He's cooing about how pretty his Shrimpy is, how he loves you so, so, so sosososo much, how he wants to bring you back to meet his Mama and Pops. Jade keeps you coiled in a comforting embrace, pressing sweet, soft, fleeting kisses to your shoulders, neck, collarbone, chest. He whispers filth and sweetness in your ears, shushing you when you cry and uttering the softest assurances and praises. It'll be okay; he's here. He's not going anywhere. Look only at him. You'll be fine. You're doing so well. He knows it's unbearable, so let him take care of you. You don't have to spend this season alone. He and Floyd are here for you. <3

You're not sure if you spend hours or days in that cave. If you aren't sleeping and eating the things Floyd's hunted, dragged in, or collected, then you're being filled all over again by the both of them. The twins have always taken lots of things from you, and like the greedy eels they are they took your first time and fertilized your first clutch. >_< if it's any consolation, they help you back to their home, praising you for being so good for them and proudly showing you off to their parents, who are oh-so-happy their beloved boys found a mate. When you're not so full and sex-brained, they'll properly introduce you and save you a seat at the dinner table. You're going to be part of the Leech family from now on, so you'll be seeing more of Jade and Floyd. And unfortunately it won't be once a year.

[malfoyfarms]

She Loved You (extended)

JJ Maybank x Routledge!Reader

Word Count: 721

Warnings:none

A/n: part two you’ve all been waiting for; side note @softboystarkey i saw ur user on the list and fangirled, ily

The moment John B had seen the familiar scrawl on the outside of a large manilla envelope, he called everyone over to read it. So here the group sat, sitting on the deck as JB pulled the papers out. 

“JJ this one’s specifically for you.” He started to hand it to the boy, but he was cut off.

“No, read it aloud. I won’t be able to get through it.”

So that’s what John B did. He started to narrate his best friend’s words. 

J, 

I really truly hope this letter gets to you. I didn’t want to put a return address on the envelope because I still can’t come home. I do, though, have something very important to tell you. 

For starters, I am safe. I have a roof over my head, a job, and maybe just one friend. I hope you and our gang of bandits are doing alright. I hope JB has forgiven me, because I fucking miss my older brother. It’s taking me longer to detach from you than I thought it would, mostly because you were my whole world. But also because I couldn’t stay away from the ocean. You and the sea are slowly becoming two separate entities, even if I see your eyes every time I look out my bedroom window. 

I hope you found happiness. I hope you are with Kie, giving her all the smiles, hugs and affection that only you could muster. If not her, I hope someone is receiving all the love you have to give. In our time growing up, the two of us have seen many marriages fail (I mean we were both raised by single fathers), and many survive. Miserably survive. That was also why I left. I didn’t want us to end up like either. 

The day you told me how you felt about Kiara had been one of the worst days of my life, and hearing you tell me you wanted another girl wasn’t even the worst thing. About two hours before I met you at the bluffs I took a test. And it was positive. Your pull out game fucking sucks. But so does my ability to take birth control apparently. 

John B stopped reading, as Sarah uttered a “shut the fuck up,” and JJ was paling by the second.

I was terrified, then over the moon, then shattered. I didn’t want you to feel like you had to stay with me because I was pregnant, we’ve seen how that plays out time and time again. I thought about getting rid of it completely, then maybe adoption. Once I heard your confession later that day I knew I had to keep it, so I could have a little bit of you no matter what happened. 

What I’m trying to say is you have a daughter. She was born on October 17th, healthy and happy. Her name is Quincie, Quincie Jay. She’s so beautiful, JJ. She has your blonde hair, my dark eyes, and loves to test the limits. Quincie loves the water. And the beach. Especially the sand. 

I’m coming home soon. I never want to keep her from you, I just wanted to let your universe work itself out before she made an entrance (and boy was it grand). She needs her dad, her two uncles, her two aunts and she needs to learn how to be a cockroach like the rest of us. I want you in her life, she needs to experience love from a Maybank boy. I added a picture to the bottom of the envelope so you could see her. 

All my love, 

Y/n (& QJ)

John B shook the package and a 4x6 photo of both Y/n and Quincie fell out. Y/n had eyes so full of love for her daughter, they were shining so bright the group barely noticed her now darker hair, free of charms, thread and braids, or the lack of her freckles. Quincie Jay on the other hand, she was laughing, her mouth was open, and Y/n was right. She looked like JJ with her mother’s eyes. His girls looked so lovely. 

The group was frantic trying to take a peek at the baby girl in the photo. But all JJ could think about was that his girls were coming home. 

@eddiemunsonhero___ @lilacreader7 @gengen64 @123anonymous123456 @solargazes @Taintedxkisses @shamelessatoru @folkorelover888 @taurusvic @nadinenoa02 @softboystarkey @VOIDRANBOO @Tvdnmf @blueray222 @simp4holland @onehellofabisexual @idli-dosa @byycassie @bokutosmeatythigh

[mswyrr]

wheel of time 1x06: romance and narrative economy

I think this episode is a great example of how to convey a complex and powerful romance in a limited amount of time. True, the episode is just over an hour long, but not even all that time is focused on the romance and yet it hits beautifully.

Their first move is that, since the audience has been introduced to Moiraine, one half of this grand love affair, the story begins with Siuan's origin story - we begin with the home where she grew up, we begin by learning the innermost rooms of her heart.

We see the last time she ever felt wholly safe and loved and free to be herself:

The day we see with her father is also the day Siuan begins to come of age, leaving this place of innocence and total safety - because of how magic is handled in this society, there are limited spaces for her to embrace her power, have the opportunity to learn, and be accepted as a grown woman.

Notable that, in her parting, her father uses these words to connect them, to create a bridge between this home and the life she will build:

Look at me. You're gonna do great things. And if any of them bastards tries to shame you, you show them who you are. Siuan Sanche. Daughter of the river. Clever as a pike. Strong as the tides.

Her father is giving a vision of herself--and the knowledge that he loves her deeply--to her that she can hold close for the rest of her life.

Then we see Moiraine and Siuan as mature women in the Aes Sedai order that has formed their adult selves. We witness the power and burden Siuan carries as the Amyrlin Seat, the masks these lovers must wear to pursue the larger goals they share - but that very sharing separates them. It requires them in different places; it requires that they conceal who they are to each other as well as their true inner selves.

It's after this display of politics and power that we learn that, despite all of this, Siuan and Moiraine trust their inner selves to each other.

Before meeting her lover, Moiraine strips herself down to her own girlish state - no formal, restrictive outfits, no ornate hair, no carefully chosen jewels. Just her.

It's in this exposed state that she approaches the magical portal

And everything comes together! Moiraine walks into Siuan's innermost heart, her childhood home. This is the secret place they share, the place they built together (presumably?) with their magic and where they love each other. Siuan can still be safe and free with someone - she has a family still, and it is Moiraine.

In this place of safety there are echoes of their lives outside, however:

Moiraine: Am I forgiven, Mother?

Siuan: I hate it when you call me that. So much for the Amyrlin Seat remaining neutral, without favorites…. No life. No love of one's own. Nothing but the Seat.

Moiraine: When have we ever followed the rules?

And, of course, there's the deliciousness of Moiraine's "on your knees" and how it interplays with Siuan's earlier command, as the Amyrlin Seat, for Moiraine to kneel before her. In the Tower, one must obey the Seat or face punishment; in love, one obeys because one wishes to, an even stronger compulsion than threats of violence one might argue lol

This play of identities and truths--innermost heart and their political identities, their status and power--culminates in Moiraine turning her political punishment, framed as a command to swear and oath of obedience to the Amyrlin Seat into a personal oath--a wedding vow, if you will--to Siuan herself.

Siuan: You are exiled from this Tower. To ensure your acceptance of this penance, you will swear fealty to the judgment of this Seat on the sacred Oath Rod. Swear your oath, Moiraine Sedai… before your sisters, in this… sacred Hall. The One Power renders it unbreakable and eternally binding. By the Light and my hope of salvation and rebirth… I, Moiraine Sedai, swear to obey the judgment of the Amyrlin Seat and never return till she calls me home, or may the Creator's face turn from me and darkness consume my soul.

Moiraine: By the Light and the hope of my salvation… and rebirth… I, Moiraine Sedai, do swear to honor and obey Siuan Sanche… Daughter of the River… clever as a pike… strong as the tides… and never return until she calls me home. Or may my Creator's face turn from me… and darkness consume my soul.

Moiraine is the only one giving these "wedding vows" and yet we know Siuan commits to her just as much - because Siuan shared her father's parting words--the ones she has kept close to her heart, the core inner self she has protected with those words--with Moiraine alone. By sharing those words Siuan committed to Moraine and now Moiraine is using them to commit herself to Siuan.

Moiraine touches Siuan's true, innermost heart even in this moment of her exile and them being parted by fate for a long period of time. In this moment of farewell she reflects back to Siuan the little girl she was, the woman she has grown into with that love at her heart, the love she shares with Moiraine. She reflects back their shared purpose and love for each other, even though Siuan has to be the one to command this exile.

And once again, tears mark the separation from home/heart and the blessing of giving someone a vision of themselves they can carry with them while you are parted.

It's really gorgeous work all around - but it starts with the writing, which is a master class in depicting a complex romance in a limited period of time.

[moonstrider9904]

And so, the last Bad Batch Eve falls upon us.

It is surreal to think that a show that has meant so much to me for three years will come to an end. I've talked about how meaningful TBB is to me many times, and I most certainly will in the future, but I didn't want to pass on the opportunity to do it on the last Bad Batch Eve we'll officially have.

The night before Aftermath premiered, I'd struggled with some pretty bad anxiety. In the weeks following after that and throughout the first season, I dealt with depression and anxiety being diagnosed as well as an ear infection the doctor attributed to said mental illnesses. I went through a pretty bad breakup. The lockdowns were at their peak where I was. But despite that being a rough time, I also vividly remember being in my room at home, my favorite place in the world, eating my favorite food and drinking my favorite relaxing tea, hearing it rain outside, wearing my favorite hoodie and my PJs, watching/rewatching those season 1 episodes. Seeing Crosshair deal with the inhibitor chip seemed to echo some of what I was going through, i.e. having something in your head you couldn't really control. I wondered how afraid he must have felt, and I sympathized with him.

During S2, as Crosshair was off with the Empire, I was off living in my hometown the first time, away from my true home and my family, and I have to admit I was very lost during that time. I did make mistakes. I did return home, and I left it again, albeit now more ready, more prepared, more stable. But it was still a second time leaving home.

S3 Crosshair has all but solidified my intent in going back home and not freaking leaving and I really hope the day in which I can return home to my family the way he did is sooner rather than later. Seeing him grow, own up to his mistakes, forgive and be forgiven, learn to control what's in his head, and heal, feels like a very fitting peak to a journey, a journey that had and still has its ups and downs.

And let's not forget the writing and the fandom. I have written things I didn't think I'd write, things I've loved so much that part of me wants to go back in time and rewrite to experience the joy of doing it all over again (looking at Moonlight here lol). I have also made gifs, which I didn't ever imagine doing! I edited music videos and crack meme compilations, which I had wanted to do for years. Fear not, I'll keep doing all of that - slowly, yes, but not with any less love. Y'all are stuck with me. 😁🩷

And as if all I've mentioned wasn't already very valuable, I cannot forget all the beautiful, wonderful, amazing people I've met because of this show. People who I've learned from, laughed with, cried with, fangirled with, gamed with... every single one of you has been the icing on the cake, the lattice on the pie, the parmesan on the pasta. You have all truly made this worth it and make me love being in the fandom. You give what I do a greater purpose, and you have become people I am happy to call moots and friends. I am over the moon that this show allowed me to cross paths with you. @photogirl894 @rebekadjarin @darthzero22 @arctrooper69 @jedi-hawkins @stardustbee @s-pirth-lemonade @eloquentmoon @sageislostinspring @nahoney22 @freesia-writes @kimageddon @emperor-palpaminty @rainydaydream-gal18 @imabeautifulbutterfly @paperback-rascal @pankeki-25 @dragonrebelrose @dragonrider9905 @questforgalas @lightwise @zoruui @nunanuggets @misogirl828 and everyone else 🩵

I love The Bad Batch and what it's done for my life in so many aspects. I love these characters for their growth and because they were there for me when nobody was, and because they brought me to so many amazing people. I am grateful that this show exists and I cannot wait to keep creating all the stuff I have planned, writing or otherwise.

Thank you, Clone Force 99, and thank you everyone for being a part of this journey!

🩷🌙

[evilbihan]

reading through your page. do you have any random headcanons of mk characters that aren't bi-han?? i'd love to hear them.

Thank you for sending me this ask. I won't lie, it was a difficult one to answer since Bi-Han is the only character I care about in the entire franchise. (Him being back as Sub-Zero was the only selling point of MK1 for me and his fate in the dlc is the reason why I stopped playing the game by now.) You could say, Bi-Han is MK to me.

I dislike most of the characters on the MK1 roster and I'm indifferent towards the rest of them, so I never bothered coming up with headcanons for any of them or trying to understand and analyse them on a deeper level. However, I still wanted to properly answer this ask, so here are some headcanons I came up with on the spot. I also posted a Kuai Liang headcanon a few days ago that you can read here if you want.

MK1 random headcanons:

Kitana and Mileena:

Being twin sisters, Kitana and Mileena used to often wear matching outfits when they were younger. They even wore the same hairstyle until Mileena entered her rebellious phase and shaved her hair. While Mileena's outfits became bolder, Kitana maintained a more conservative and traditional style. Sometimes it makes her sad that Mileena and her drifted apart so much, but she's still determined to support her sister wherever she can.

Li Mei:

Li Mei loves flowers, specifically lilies, but she has a soft spot for all kinds of plants. Her home in Sun Do is filled with potted plants in all shapes and sizes. Caring for them helps her unwind after a stressful day at work and she loves coming home to her own little garden too. She spends a lot of her free time there, tending to her plants or meditating.

Liu Kang:

Liu Kang is very lonely deep down. He misses his old friends, especially Kung Lao, and it pains him that he can no longer be a part of their lives in the same way he used to be before he became a god. Of course, he's happy to see his former companions thrive in the new era he created, but he can't deny that it hurts to no longer fit in. The people he once shared playful banter with look up to him for guidance now. He doesn't speak to anyone about his loneliness, only Geras knows since he became Liu Kang's best friend as well as his closest confidant over time.

Ashrah:

Ashrah adjusted to her new life as an Earthrealmer pretty quickly. She's grateful to have been offered a home and she's determined to prove worthy of it. She knows she still has much to learn, but she enjoys studying Earthrealm customs and traditions. She hopes that Earthrealm can become a home to Sareena as well, but she's also aware of how Sareena's nature as a demon still draws her to the Netherrealm. Her biggest fear is losing her last remaining sister to evil too. Despite her dedication to her search for absolution, Ashrah is unsure if she could ever bring herself to kill Sareena if it came down to it.

Sareena:

Sareena still hasn't fully forgiven Ashrah for the deaths of Kia and Jataaka. A part of her wishes the four of them were still together in the Netherrealm. She doesn't know if she will ever be able to call Earthrealm her home in the way Ashrah does and she's afraid of inevitably disappointing her sister by returning to her old ways.

Johnny:

Johnny still keeps a couple of handwritten letters to Cris that he never had the courage to send buried somewhere in one of his desk drawers. No matter how badly he misses her and how much he regrets that so much was left unsaid between them, for once in his life he doesn't want to be selfish, so he respects her decision to move on. It takes him a while to get over the divorce since he really loved Cris and although he continues to be his usual flirty and playful self, he's not sure if he's ready for a new relationship yet.

Tomas:

As a former hunter, there is a part of Tomas that enjoys the thrill of hunting and killing. To him, it's almost like a game, which is unusual for a Lin Kuei since they only fight for duty and to protect the realm. That side of Tomas is possibly owed to the Enenra and it's also the reason why Bi-Han is wary of him and doesn't consider him a true Lin Kuei.

Kenshi:

While he wouldn't necessarily call himself a sports fan, Kenshi has developed somewhat of a fondness for football since he became friends with Jax. Whenever Jax goes to watch a football game, Kenshi is happy to tag along. He enjoys the stadium atmosphere and finds it interesting to listen to his friend ramble about the teams and their strategies.

I hope you like these! I did my best, but you can tell I'm awful at writing anything non-Bi-Han related. Regardless, this was fun to write.

[waytooinvested]

Forgotten, Not Forgiven - Chapter 28

This and previous chapters are also on AO3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first days after Kara was released from the med bay were a learning curve, to say the least. Despite (and to some degree because of) the conversation they had had about it, they were both a little nervous about the personal care aspect.

Well, a lot nervous, if Lena was honest with herself.

Even though she had insisted (to Kara, to Alex, to herself) it wasn’t a big deal, that had been when it was all safely hypothetical, the barrier of time between them and the moment it would become a reality making it all feel eminently doable.

Then on their first evening together, after the welcome home pizza was finished and Alex and Kelly had said their goodbyes, Kara admitted, tentatively, that she would really like to get a proper shower. She had had to make to with a bowl of lukewarm water at the DEO, and after her two day post-brain injury observation period she was feeling distinctly grimy.

‘Is that… okay?’

‘Of course! I bought a shower stool specially, and a cover to keep your cast dry. It’s fine’.

It was fine of course, but that didn’t stop Lena’s heart from jumping into her mouth at the realisation that all her rationalising and distance keeping came to nothing now they were actually here.

It was a big deal, it was such a big deal, what had she been thinking saying she could do this by herself? What if she couldn’t? What did she know about taking care of someone post-injury, especially when that person happened to be the woman she was in love with, who was about to be more naked than she had ever seen her before...

But Lena was a practical woman, and she didn’t let her sudden insecurity show as she helped her friend make the short trek to the bathroom.

At least, she tried not to.

She did spend an unnecessary amount of time explaining exactly how the shower worked and what each and every one of the various settings did (all the more unnecessary given that Kara had showered here before, and already knew the basics of temperature and pressure control), but that was just being a good hostess, wasn’t it? After all, Kara might fancy trying out the massage jets (well, maybe not, given her bruises) or the multidirectional spray (although that would put an end to any hope of keeping her cast dry even with the covering). It was only polite to give her all the options.

‘… So, which would you prefer?’ Lena asked, when she had finally run out of settings to describe. There was no answer, and she turned to find that rather than listening to the (admittedly excessive) shower options, Kara was focusing on staying balanced on the closed lid of the toilet while she fumbled one handed with the buttons of her shirt, unable to see what she was doing through the rapidly fogging lenses of her glasses.

‘Oh darling, I’m sorry. Here, let me do that.’

The guilt for having left her like that so long was sharp in Lena's chest, but it finally broke through the worst of her uncharacteristic dithering and galvanized her into action.

What passed between them over the next few minutes was a kind of intimacy that Lena had never experienced with another person before. Not the physical act – she had taken people’s clothes off plenty of times – but the way it felt to have Kara allowing herself to be vulnerable with her in this way. The nearest she had come to this was with Sam, holed up in her lab together while she tried to find a way to separate her from Reign, but even at their closest, when she had been holding her while she cried and begged and then bravely pushed on for another try, she had managed to retain a small degree of distance from the procedure that was absent now.

Maybe it was because that hadn’t been such a viscerally physical form of care, or because there was always the possibility of Sam not being Sam any more at any moment, so she had stayed on her guard. Maybe the real difference was just that this was Kara, and with Kara everything was different. Whatever the reason, as Lena knelt in front of her friend and carefully worked her way down a row of buttons that seemed impractically fiddly for someone who had to change from civilian to super hero clothes in the blink of an eye, she felt the truth of Kara’s trust in her more deeply than she ever had before.

When the last one was finally free she averted her eyes while Kara shrugged out of the shirt and wrapped herself quickly in the towel Lena held out to her, careful not to look in the direction of the mirror. In truth she had wondered (privately, guiltily) if the temptation to peek would prove too much for her in this moment (how many times had she woken hot and flustered from dreams about her best friend naked in the shower, after all? And now here she was unclasping her bra less than an arm’s length away...), but although Lena’s heart was pounding at a pace that made her very glad that super hearing wasn’t currently a factor, it didn’t feel sexual, and she didn’t try to look.

She was also painfully conscious of how Kara must be experiencing what was happening. Not only was she in pain and having to accept help that she hated needing in the first place, she was also accepting it from someone who only a couple of days before she had believed to have unequivocally rejected her romantic interest, only to find out that it was all a big misunderstanding and her feelings were reciprocated after all. That alone would take some time to get used to, but now they were in this strange in-between place where they weren’t quite one thing or another to each other, everything between them half acknowledged and less than half resolved.

And yet here Lena was, helping her take her pants off.

It was a lot.

In light of that Lena did her best to stay practical and respectful, forcing her hands to still as she helped Kara back to standing and affording her as much privacy as she feasibly could in the circumstances. Still, no matter how diligent she was at looking elsewhere, she couldn’t help catching glimpses of the injuries that had previously been hidden beneath layers of clothes.

Kara’s back and side were mottled with a huge, multi-hued map of bruises that darkened from yellow-green at the edges to angry purple and red towards the impact site, and her skin was scraped and raw. Even though it was mostly superficial and would heal fully within a few weeks, the sight of her looking so battered made rage surge up in Lena’s chest, and again she felt the burgeoning urge to kill whoever had dared do this to her.

Which was somewhat problematic, given that the person who had done this to Kara was… Kara.

Well. And Lex.

Lex.

Yes, this was all his fault, and Lena had let herself forget that for far too long.

Maybe they had been going the wrong way about Project Atlantis from the start, and should have devoted more of their efforts to finding Lex and making him talk, or else searching his various hideouts for an explanation of his separation process, rather than focusing so much on Kara herself.

Not that they hadn’t looked for him of course – the DEO had searched. Lena had searched. Even Superman had searched, once they had told him what had happened to his cousin and warned him that Lex might come for him next. All to no avail. None of them had found so much as a hint of where he might have gone after the bunker, or even whether he had ever been there in person. It was entirely possible that the set up had all been done through his lackeys, and that Lex himself was holed up somewhere on the other side of the world, the trail so cold it might as well not exist at all.

However, Lena did have one more card to play if it came to it. Because while Lex might claim to be indifferent to her, she was pretty sure that he would come if she called him, at least if he truly believed that she was ready to cut ties with Supergirl and the DEO and join him. It would be a delicate game to play, but more than worth it if she could get close enough to find out what they needed to keep Kara from ever getting hurt like this again.

But she wouldn’t do it yet.

Not until Kara had healed and didn’t need her support anymore, at least. That would also give her time to prepare, to make a proper plan and anticipate any counter moves her brother might make. As long as she was careful, Lex could be trapped by his own hubris into making mistakes, and then she would have him.

This time, no matter what, only one of them would walk away from this alive.

In the meantime, she would make the most of the time she had left with this Kara.

The Kara who loved her back.

Just in case, one way or the other, it turned out to be their last.

And alright, it was possible that Lena went just the slightest bit overboard with that intention. But she had promised that this recovery period would be just like one long best friend sleepover, and she damn well planned to live up to her word.

When they had finally completed their first stumbling shower-and-pajama routine and Kara had fallen into a deep, exhausted sleep in the spare bedroom, Lena fetched her laptop and got to work with online shopping. Within the hour she had orders placed for a mountain of boardgames, card games and puzzle books; a huge stack of dvds (including every musical she had heard of and several she hadn’t, plus a few choice series’ that they could get their teeth into); subscriptions to no less than four new streaming services; a bumper set of canvases, brushes and various kinds of paints in case Kara was in the mood for some artwork; and, the grand finale, a vintage play station 2 complete with a wide array of one and two player games, because she figured if Kara couldn’t run and jump for real, she might at least get some vicarious enjoyment from doing it on a screen (the console was years out of date, but her initial plan to simply buy whatever had the highest ratings had changed when she saw that this one came with a particular game that she was pretty sure was going to be the crowning glory of the lot).

To round it all off she also scheduled a grocery delivery that would fill her cupboards with all Kara’s favourite snacks, a few of her own choice comfort foods (just to keep her company) and, after a brief hesitation, a large packet of marshmallows.

Then Lena went to bed herself, feeling tired but satisfied, and more peaceful than she had expected to be so soon after her resolve about Lex.

That peace lasted exactly five hours and thirteen minutes.

Then, quite literally, it shattered.

Lena’s eyes snapped abruptly open at the sudden noise, and she found herself leaping out of bed and stumbling out to find the source before she was entirely awake. In her sleep-fuddled state she half expected to find a man with a weapon and a grappling hook climbing through a smashed window (she was probably over due her next assassination attempt, and given her high security a mere casual burglar was unlikely), and wished that she had thought to grab her gun.

But there was no intruder. No weapon. No smashed window.

There was just Kara, red cheeked and balancing awkwardly on one leg, attempting to pick up the shards of a broken water glass with her injured hand while the other clung determinedly to the counter to try and keep from falling.

‘Kara! What on Earth are you doing?!’

Lena hurried over to her, but Kara gestured her back before she could step far enough into the kitchenette to steady her.

‘Don’t come any closer! You’ve got bare feet, you’ll cut yourself.’

‘So have you! Why didn’t you call me if you needed something?’

‘I didn’t want wake you up, and I was fine by myself, I only came out for a water refill.’

Pointing out the near-impossibility of carrying a full glass back to the bedroom with only one arm and leg available would have been labouring a point that had been better made by the mess at their feet, so instead Lena went to fetch a chair before Kara lost her precarious grip on the counter and smashed more than just the glassware.

‘Sit down for a minute while I get the this cleared up, then I’ll help you back to bed.’

‘No, no it’s fine, I can do it, you go back to sleep.’

‘Darling, that’s not how the whole ‘looking after’ thing works. Especially not when you are barely out of hospital and can hardly stand on your own, let alone walk. Now would you please sit down before you fall down and get a butt full of broken glass to add to your other injuries?’

Kara grimaced sheepishly, but sat.

‘Okay… I’m really sorry about your glass, I was trying so hard to be careful.’

‘Oh, that doesn’t matter, I smash them all the time. But please call me next time. I can buy more glasses. I can’t buy another Kara.’

‘I mean you probably could, if you really put your mind to it.’

That startled a laugh out of her, for all Lena was still sleep-drunk and mildly alarmed from her rude awakening.

‘Okay, well I don’t want another Kara. I want this one, thank you very much. She happens to be my favourite.’

‘Even though she smashes your things?’

There was a slight wobble in Kara’s voice that made Lena stop what she was doing and look up at her, concern creeping in to replace the humour.

‘Hey… Kara, it’s okay. You’re not really upset about the glass are you? Because it really really doesn’t matter. I’ve been known to smash them on purpose when I need to vent, it’s absolutely not a big deal.’

‘It’s not the glass, exactly. It’s just… I’m kind of a wrecking ball right now trying to learn how to manage with only two fully functioning limbs, and this place is all so… expensive. I mean, it’s lovely, obviously. But also kind of scarily immaculate. What if next time I break something actually valuable? Or… I don’t know, drip spaghetti sauce on your white couch? There is so much white.’

Lena put down her dustpan and brush and went to crouch beside Kara’s chair, broken glass crunching under the boots she had quickly stuffed her feet into before starting the clean up. She took Kara’s uninjured hand and squeezed it firmly in her own.

‘Okay, Kara, look at me. I promise I don’t care about any of that. What I do care about is you feeling comfortable. I want my home to feel like your home, at least until your leg’s out of plaster. So, what can I do to make you feel more at ease here?’

‘Well... maybe you could put away anything breakable or stainable that’s worth more than… say… five hundred dollars?’

‘Oh. Uh. Sure…’

Her tone must have betrayed her, because Kara narrowed her eyes, looking simultaneously suspicious and alarmed.

‘Lena. Please tell me you own things that are worth less than five hundred dollars.’

‘Of course I do!’

But looking around their immediate vicinity, Lena actually couldn’t see anything that fit the description aside from the basics of crockery, food stuffs and the dust pan and brush, which she suspected didn’t really count.

‘Name something.’

‘Well…’ she struggled ‘...that flower arrangement?’

‘OH MY GOD LENA.’

‘So I have expensive taste! It doesn’t mean I care if something gets damaged. There’s nothing here that you could break, stain or lose that I would be particularly upset about. They’re just things. Seriously, you want me to smash a Ming vase to prove it? Because I will smash the hell out of that priceless antique if it’ll make you feel better.’

‘DO NOT DO THAT.’ Kara yelped, and then after a moment added ‘...do you seriously own a Ming vase?’

‘No Kara, that was a joke. And plenty of things here are worth less than five hundred dollars, but it’s 4am, I’m very sleepy and none of them happen to be in my eyeline right at this moment. I’ll put away anything really valuable though, okay? And if anything does get broken, I absolutely promise you I won’t care. Just as long as the thing that gets broken isn’t you.’

She decided not to mention that there actually had been a Ming vase in her father’s study when she was growing up, and that while it wasn’t really to her taste, one or two things she did own would rival it in cost.

‘Okay...’

‘Okay. Now lets get you back to bed, and if you need anything at all in the night then you call me. Because if I find you out here on your own again I swear to God I will get in that bed with you so you can’t sneak out without me noticing.’

Kara laughed, and Lena was relieved to note that the worried edge was gone.

‘I wouldn’t mind if you did.’

[cassandraevans]

Some other grievances I've had with the 911 show. I just wanna get these out and be done with it. I wanna just sit back and love the characters without caring about the writer's choices but alas. Hopefully this will be all of my rants about this show and I'll be able to post only what I love about it from here on.

I know I've been very critical of Eddie so far and angrily so. But as much as I'm criticising him for being a very bad and careless romantic partner, i really really hope that when it comes time for him to get together with Buck, he will have learned from all his mistakes and matured and learned about his shortcomings and where they stem from and I hope he'd have worked on himself enough to not put Buck through any of the bullshit he put every one of his romantic partners through. Buck doesn't deserve that.

While I absolutely love Buck, I also have a problem with how he just kissed Lucy while being in a relationship with Taylor where everything was finally looking good, I knew from the moment Lucy was introduced and the way Buck looked at her, and the writers make him cheat on Taylor and ask her to move in as a way to deflect from that. Yes he tells her later, yes she forgives him and I was hoping they would last a little longer but no, the writers just kept her around long enough to make her do something bad to break them up, so then it wouldn't be his fault.

It's like the writers don't think cheating is that bad at all, you cheat? No worries, all forgiven, your partners love you too much to leave you over that. The question is, do the ones that cheat love their partners the same? Because when Hen cheated on Karen I was so pissed, like the lady did not deserve that, I'm glad they didn't break apart over it but still it was not a simple mistake. And then Buck cheated on Taylor and then the writers made her use a private conversation for a news story and stab Buck in the back. Like if they were going to break them up they should've done so when he cheated or let them remain together, I hate it that the writers made Taylor forgive Buck for CHEATING but Buck breaks with her over the first mistake she made in the relationship, I'm not defending Taylor's choices and I was angry at her for it, she could've gotten Buck in so much trouble which he didn't deserve but I hate it that she made one wrong choice and the relationship is over while Buck cheated and he was fine. I hate the writers for trying to dismiss cheating as no big deal.

I was also mad at Hen being all pissy when Karen was grieving the loss of her embryos and Hen had to feed Denny, and do some other things around the house that Karen usually does, I get it, Hen comes home late from her draining shift and it hurts to see that nothing's done but the that's the least you can do for your wife, not to mention one who left her opportunity to become an astronaut to raise a child with you as a family, when she's grieving the loss of your potential children, but Hen keeps complaining and gets mad at Karen for grieving instead of performing her motherly duties, like I feel like the writers of this show have a problem with women taking some time to themselves, whether it be to grieve, or go take care of your dying mother and then grieve, or having postpartum depression, the women are the villain for wanting, no, needing a break, mostly because of things they had no control over, if they deviate from their motherly/spousal duties because of any tragedy, they're not the victim but their partners are, [(I know chim tried his best and didn't deserve to suffer, but neither did Maddie. Chim's storyline after Maddie left literally made me bawl and I'm so glad they're back together, they need each other, I wish they never broke up) so I'm mostly talking about Eddie and Hen here.]

The writers just had to make it all about Hen, when Karen was grieving and staying in bed, all Hen did was complain about HAVING to do the things Karen usually does, Hen looked at it all like an inconvenience. The writers then made Hen accidentally kill that cello girl and justifiably Hen was wrecked with guilt and fear and didn't know how to handle it, can't blame Hen at all for the way she took it but I can blame the writers. Karen put aside all her heartbreak abd grief from her lost embryos and stood by Hen throughout, and I love her for it, Hen deserved Karen to be by her side at such a time, but just before that incident when Karen needed Hen to stand by her and support her emotionally, all Hen did was be impatient and basically tell Karen to wrap it up. The writers made a new emergency tragedy to make it about Hen and tossed aside Karen's grief and made her never talk about it again like it never happened. I hate the writers for that.

Again as a note, these are my opinions about the show, you're free to have your own opinions. I'm just trying to vent out my frustrations with the show on my blog. Don't come at me with your angry anonymous asks and justifications because at the end of the day it's a fictional show. I haven't spoken about what I love on this show yet that doesn't mean i hate it, I'm frustrated by some of the characters' choices because I love them. Viewers will have vastly different opinions about it, to each their own.

Do recommend similar shows to watch while we all wait for new episodes. Lone star is on my watchlist next.

[thedrarrylibrarian]

Several people have been kind enough to let me publish their thoughts on fandom, community, and queerness to celebrate Pride in the Library. Today's piece comes from @tackytigerfic.

Thank you so much to my lovely friend thedrarrylibrarian for opening up this discussion. The thing I would like to talk about today is the way fandom led me to examine my identity and helped me navigate the shift between shame and peace. My journey to acknowledging and exploring my queerness has not always been a joyful one.

I came to the realisation quite late in life. I was in my late 30s before I realised that what I felt about my body was not just a thing that all other people go through. I had lived for my entire lifetime, for as long as I can remember, not just wishing but knowing that my body was meant to be different to how it is. It sounds silly, but it had never occurred to me to question those feelings, or to see myself as queer or trans or non-binary (I'm still not entirely sure how I would term it—I use genderqueer for myself, though nothing feels quite right and I suspect never will). I did spend a year as a child trying to "pass" as a boy (cropping my hair, wearing clothes from the boy's section in the shops, and so on), and as a teen and young adult I was part of a group of queer friends, many of whom were gender non-conforming, so I learned early on that I don't believe that there is any right or wrong way to look like, act like, or be a woman or man. But for some reason, it never occurred to me that the "should have been" feeling was something that I could interrogate, and maybe even do something about. I have moved around a lot throughout my life, and in a way my gender identity feels like that; part of my heart is always somewhere else, and I don't think I'll ever feel entirely at home anywhere.

Before joining fandom, I had never had a candid discussion with anyone about gender identity. I had trans friends who all transitioned medically, but my experience didn't feel like theirs. My body was just something I had to get on with. It was bearable. It didn't feel right, but I was used to feeling not quite right in lots of ways (I was a very emotional child who has grown into a melodramatic adult, what can I say!). It was only through meeting and speaking to all my candid, open, generous trans and non-binary fandom friends that I realised that perhaps my gender identity was something to be addressed. Initially it caused me a lot of grief. I had heard of queer joy and gender euphoria, but my realisation and acknowledgement brought a lot of pain. I felt stupid and ashamed—not of my queerness, not at all! But of the fact that I hadn't realised. I felt like I had cheated myself of my youth. Intellectually I knew that there is no age limit to coming out, but for me it felt like an impossible step to take. I raged at myself. I cried bitter tears at shows like Heartstopper, imagining what my life might have been like had I had that sort of representation as a young person. The first time I changed my pronouns in my tumblr bio, I had to log off and cry. It all felt huge, unmanageable.

Fandom friends got me through. They listened to my sadness, never undermined me, gently guided me through, shared their own experiences so readily and with so much candour and generosity that it gave me hope. Being so immersed in an online space where people's identities are respected and embraced has given me the courage to really look at myself, to know and understand how I feel about my body (and my brain, and my spirit, and whatever else makes a person themself!).

Before I joined fandom, no one had ever asked me my pronouns. Now I have that conversation with people in my offline life too. It's still nerve-wracking for me, but it's getting easier. I have forgiven myself for not understanding myself for so long. I have compassion for my younger self now, instead of anger. And I am very much at peace with my body and identity for the first time in my life, which feels so magical and affirming and, yes, joyous. I got there in the end! That's something to celebrate. And that is thanks to every single one of the people who were there at my side on the journey, the journey that this fandom set me on. And I am very, very glad for that

Thank you, Tacky, for joining me in the Library. I appreciate the reminder that there is no timeline on figuring yourself out, no one way that you have to feel about it. Thank you for joining me for Pride in the Library.

If you want more @tackytigerfic be sure to check out their work on AO3! I reread one of my favorites from them, Silverpoint. I think it's a such an excellent characterization of Harry and Draco, both so in love they can't stand it, and both unable to communicate about it.

🏳️‍🌈 Lots of Love and Happy Pride! 🏳️‍🌈

[totravelasfriends7433]

Incorrect Quotes

Valkyrie: No, this is not a mess. You know what I consider a mess? Melissa: Your life? Valkyrie: I- well yes, but-

Valkyrie: I'm hot, I’m tall, I'm gay, and I'm on my theatre kid arc.

Murderer: Any last words? Valkyrie: Do you think I'm cute? Be honest.

Melissa: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO- Valkyrie: It was me… Melissa: …Is going to be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance.

Valkyrie: I am the most responsible person in the group. Melissa: …You just set the kitchen on fire. Valkyrie: Yes, and I take full responsibility for that.

Fletcher: Cronch. Fletcher: You hear that? That's the sound of me eating sticks. Melissa: No, don’t— Fletcher: Too late.

Fletcher: I love you. Valkyrie: I love me too.

Fletcher: Big day today, Valkyrie. holds up two shirts Mustard stain or ketchup stain? Valkyrie: Mustard– looks less like blood.

Valkyrie: I hope no one lowkey hates me. Valkyrie: Highkey hate me. Hate me with every fiber of your being. Valkyrie: Go big or go home.

Fletcher: ATTENTION: I HAVE BREACHED CONTAINMENT. Fletcher: DO NOT PANIC, I AM SIMPLY GETTING A SNACK.

Valkyrie: Ask me anything. Go ahead, I'll give you a straight answer. Fletcher: Why are we so fucking awesome? Valkyrie: That's the best fucking question anybody's ever asked.

Fletcher: Hugs Valkyrie from behind Fletcher: Tucks Valkyrie's hair behind their ear Fletcher, whispering: Eat all the frosted animal crackers again and they'll never find your body.

Tsu: Do you support gay rights? Shinsou: I’m literally gay. Valkyrie: He's avoiding the question!

Valkyrie, to Shinsou: You're starting to forget your Spanish. You don't practice. Shinsou: Lo siento. Estoy embarazada. Valkyrie: You just told me you're pregnant. Tsu: Congratulations Shinsou, you're glowing!

Valkyrie: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT! Tsu: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone. Valkyrie: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch? Tsu: Somehow that's worse.

Valkyrie: I have to say, I'm a little embarrassed for you. Shinsou: This is a sports-related injury. It makes me look cool! Valkyrie: Tripping over a basketball on your way to the bathroom is not cool!

Tsu: Shinsou, Valkyrie, I love y’all and all, but can I ask what in the hell are you doing? Shinsou, trying to stabilize a tower of folding chairs that Valkyrie is sitting atop: Oh nothing much. Valkyrie: I love you too :)

Shinsou: I wanna sleep for 40 hours. Valkyrie: You know that's called a coma, right? Shinsou: Shinsou: That sounds so refreshing, I could totally go for a light coma right now.

Tsu: Isn’t it weird how we pay money to see other people? Shinsou: You mean movies? Valkyrie: Concerts? Momo: Prostitutes? Tsu: Wha…N-no, I mean glasses, what the fuck-

Valkyrie, dramatically: They called me a fool. Momo, sick of Valkyrie's shit: They weren’t wrong.

Valkyrie: falls down the stairs Momo: Are you okay? Tsu: Stop falling down the stairs! Midoriya: How’d the ground taste?

Valkyrie: I do two things and two things only. I devastate sorry motherfuckers, and get shit done as an awesome leader.

Shinsou: Eat shit and die, Midoriya!!! Midoriya: Eat shit and live, Shinsou.

Midoriya: Remember everyone, violence is never the answer. Valkyrie: You're right, Midoriya.. Violence can't be the answer. Midoriya: Correct, Valkyrie. Now, on to the next lesso- Valkyrie: Violence is the question. Valkyrie: And the answer is yes! Midoriya: Valkyrie, no!!

Hatsume: If there’s one thing I learned from Midoriya, it’s to set people’s expectations real low, so you end up surprising them by practically doing nothing at all.

Store Worker: Would a “Valkyrie” please come to the front desk? Valkyrie, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem? Store Worker, pointing to Midoriya and Hatsume: I believe they belong to you? Midoriya and Hatsume, simultaneously: We got lost. Valkyrie: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me—

Shinsou: What do I get? Valkyrie: A night of fashion, mischief, mayhem, and possible death. Shinsou: Ooh, check, check, and check; not sure about that last one. Valkyrie: It won't be you. Shinsou: I'll get my coat.

Shinsou: walks into the kitchen, ignoring everyone Fletcher: Hey, Shinsou, how was your day? Shinsou: picks up an onion and bites into it, staring at Fletcher Hell. Momo, watching this unfold: whispers Who hurt you?

Midoriya, bleeding out on the ground: Blood loss? No, I know exactly where it is.

Tsu: Hatsume noticed only today that they can label their email inboxes, but they took apart their entire bloody laptop two weeks ago. Momo: This reminds me of the Hatsume who couldn’t turn on the coffee maker, but remembers about 500 digits of pi. Tsu: I’ll be delighted to inform you that this is the very same Hatsume.

Valkyrie: Is this about me? Fletcher: No. Valkyrie: Then I've lost interest.

[cinamun]

I just got caught up and I am emotionally exhausted, the Drakes and friends are really going through it (I say this with glee). Some of the highlights for me were:

Bishop's Love Kills hoodie…

In the gif after Bishop sends the text, the animation got Jayce looking like Questlove lecturing; it don't hurt that he's thicc, too

The way Mercy called out Jackson after waking up disoriented and in pain, said too much

I howled when I saw the "He's dead" link for the previous one right under this pic with Bishop in the background; gotta give it up for environmental storytelling (we can dream).

Hope comforting Jayce by comparing their father's indiscretions

Charlie, bless his heart…

Okay, Amaya…

Damn, Mercy.

Dreams do come true~

Damn, Mercy.

Don't take it out on the child, Mercy.

Damn, Mercy.

Indya: "DJ if you're gay just say that. No need to throw us under the bus." 🤣

As soon as Charlie said that she always runs away, I started thinking, Dira can do what she wants as long as all parties are consenting, and I know she made it clear to the folks she got involved with, but I think that she should stop using people even if they want to be used. Don't be an enabler for unhealthy behavior… A lot went into the outlook she has on life now. She really wants it her way. But what is the "it"? Is it the control, is it the attention? Is she taking shit out on the wrong people? All of the above? She's drawing lines with her words but blurring them with her actions… This is not to say she can't get down with friends, but when you know they want what you don't, do everyone a favor and cut them loose. What's really going on in that child's head? And then, here you come with that scene!

Darren always running in those hard-ass soles.

I love how Darren and Indya's ways of counseling are different, but manage to fill in the blanks for the other.

Dira told Indya that she "went to bed" but, going by Charlie, looking exhausted like he really went through it, I wonder if that's the extent of it or has she lost time?

What's up with Jules offering a potential patient a drink before he learns what her vices are? It's not a date.

It's incredible that Mercy, Jayce, Eva, DJ, and Dira are all in reality's choke hold right now.

Mercy with this IDGAF attitude. I wish I could believe it was like a "finally free to be me" makeover, but it feels like she's preparing to be alone, she's pushing people away before she can be pushed.

Jayce having to a accept a whole lot of truths and being completely out of his depth with how to process it, mentally and emotionally; he's so used to knowing that he's just unsteady every step of the way through this, trying to hammer out one dent only to find that he created another.

Eva is taking a lot of this in stride because she's actively processing everything, but she's kept caring for her child front and center. Unlike her new big brother, she can't just come home and ignore her family and be forgiven for holing up in her head until she finds a modicum of clarity while her partner picks up the slack. So, she really has no choice but to keep it together. Though it doesn't hurt that she's pretty straightforward because it will save her a lot time since she'll have less BS to wade through.

Interestingly enough, DJ and Dira are in similar situations; they've both become the expectation vs reality meme. I understand their perspectives, though, kids have limited frames of reference, so if they don't copy the adults around, they are left with choosing between doing the opposite or taking a cue from elsewhere. It's obvious they both did the latter because I know the Drakes have definitely made it clear to their children that you are free to do what you like, but you have to accept the consequences as well. The twins are so much more alike than I thought they were. I don't think either one of them are wrong for wanting what they want, but they are definitely going about it in the wrong way, because any way that hurts other people (even if they stick around knowing they'll be hurt) is not the way to go.

I honestly thought I wouldn't have much to say because I feel so out of practice, but I was wrong. Thanx for still doing what you do, we're all better for it.

Also, I don't know if you know, but sometimes, just sometimes, liking your posts on cinamun.tumblr.com takes you to the top of the page.

Always a nice breakdown of events and I very much appreciate the real time reactions! There is certainly a lot to take in when it comes to Chapter 25. When it comes That Scene™, I hope that answered the questions you had about Dira choosing to be who she is and do what she wants. This is fiction, but in non-fiction real life, young girls get caught in horrible relationships, get hit with low self-esteem and even worse, all because other people's opinions have a profoud impact on their lives. Young women, especially young Black women, are scrutinized far worse for doing the most basic shit like being honest with their lovers about what they want.

That's why we needed that scene.

As for Jules, that's just who he is. He offered Darren a cigar imported from Sulani during his first visit. Its just The Doc™.

We'll be returning to those shenanigans soon enough though. Welcome back!

[candied-boys]

Another - Rio x F! Reader Part 2

When Emma chooses another, Rio has to go home without her... But there's more awaiting him than just forgotten memories...

Themes: hurt and healing, facing the past, learning to love again, aka angst with a happy ending!

Warnings: angst, Rio route spoilers, eventual smut, written from Rio's POV

Part 1

You had wondered now and then.

As memories of your identity had begun to resurface, being betrothed was an obvious possibility for a prince. However, after having received the items found with you that rainy day, you dismissed the idea. The ring was never meant for a lover. No sentimental memorabilia lay tucked into the pockets of your long-forgotten coat.

Surely, had you a wife you would at least remember. Or so you assumed. Very incorrectly it appears.

The first question that comes to mind is not why you can't recall her, but why your ass of a brother never mentioned her. The answer wells up as swiftly as the anger surging within — because having mistresses is not only normal, it is expected. The one who brought you into this very world was your father's mistress. There was never any reason for Silvio to comment on your loyalty, or lack there of.

When your vision at last returns to perceiving the outside world, you are met with a brave face. Tears run down her youthful cheeks, yet she smiles to hide the heart you have broken.

“It does not matter, Your Majesty. That His Highness has returned safely is the only important part. I am sure there will be many more years ahead to make new memories than remedy the few we have left behind.”

A hand slips from yours to rest gently on the young woman's shoulder before your mother introduces her as if you are complete strangers.

When you were but eighteen she was brought to court to be an attendant to one of the late queen’s many ladies in waiting. She worked her way up through the ranks over the years, eventually earning her position as maiden in waiting to the second lady of the house — your mother.

At the time your mother was still mistress to the king and you an illegitimate bastard. Even if treated as a prince, naturally there was no chance of you being wed to a legitimate princess of another country. As both the daughter of a dear friend and being from a noble merchant family it was a favourable arrangement for all.

You grew up anticipating such a union, yet you still managed to forget.

“There is someone else you should meet, Valerio. One you'll be forgiven for not recognizing,” you mother finishes with a tender smile.

A subtle nod from her in the direction of the maid standing by the door. A deep breath from the lady you have just been told is your wife. A click, footsteps, and a nurse carrying a little girl no more than two.

Voice as sweet as a songbird she chirps, “Mammina!” and reaches out from the nurse's arms to be held by the one she clearly adores.

Those brilliant hues soften. The tears from earlier nowhere to be seen. Disappointment and heartache have been replaced by love and affection.

“Questo è tuo papà, piccina mia,” you hear her coo at the child before directing her gaze to you.

“Papà?” the little girl repeats, blinking at you with bright blue eyes identical to your own.

“Sì, papà,” her mother answers softly with a smile.

At this the small creature reaches out towards you with tiny hands.

“What does she want?” you ask cautiously.

“To be loved by her father…” your mother answers instead.

Steadying your heart with a shakey breath, you open your arms to the child. She leans in eagerly, climbing into your embrace. She is far heavier than you imagined for being so small. Tiny arms cling to your neck in a surprisingly strong chokehold. The world's softest skin rubs against yours where her chubby cheek nuzzles into you.

“Does she have a name…?” you query like an idiot after what seems an eternity of silence.

“Valerie, for her father…” a nervous voice tells you. “I hope you don't mind. She was all I had left of you after you disappeared… By the time she was born we all thought you would never return, so we named her after you…”

Shaking your head what little you can under the vice grip, a smile steals across your lips and a whispered thank you slips past.

Popping out from beneath your chin, the little girl squeaks, “Gioca con me, papà!”

“No, no, bambina. Papà is busy. We shouldn't bother him…” her mother fusses, a fear stricken look in her eyes as she reaches out to take the child back.

You can only imagine how you must have treated her in your past life to earn such an anxious reaction.

“It's okay…” you counter as tenderly as you can and keep the girl in your arms. Patting her little head you continue, “The least I can do after being absent so long is play with Valerie… Shall we go for a walk in the gardens perhaps? There is much we should discuss.”

Some gentle reassurance seems needed from your mother to convince the young lady she is not a burden. The weak smile you attempt is not returned, but she does walk at your side when you leave the room.

Your memories after your twelfth birthday are as coherent as shattered porcelain. When you try to fit the pieces together they make certain shapes, but they are unclear and riddled with innumerable gaps. For someone who should be so close to you, the missing shards are too big. Your stomach churns with self-hatred at the mere thought of the person you used to be.

Seeping into your lungs, the salty breeze soothes your nerves the moment you step outside. No roses perfume the air. Whether that's comforting or painful you cannot decipher. The palace courtyard being the location of several dark memories, you skirt the plaza in favour of the shaded willows and at length find the old trees with a poorly cared for bench beneath their tendrils.

Only once seated do you notice the lady at your side remains on her feet. You wince at the idea that you may not have allowed the person you were supposed to treat as an equal to rest next to you without permission in past years. The fact that even now you lacked the courtesy to offer her a seat first tells you exactly how fickle your loyalties still are.

Before you can correct yourself, Valerie steals your attention as she wriggles out of your arms and off the bench, running away as soon as her tiny feet touch the ground. Her mother lays a gentle hand on your shoulder when you jump up, keeping you from chasing after the child in a panic.

“She'll come back,” she explains, a soft look that begs you to trust her, as if you have never shown faith in her before.

“Please… Sit with me,” you plead, wishing you could, of all the memories you have lost, also forget how unkind your true nature is.

This time lending her a gloved palm, you offer her the bench first. Retaking your own spot, you wait anxiously for those bright blue eyes to return from whence they disappeared round the hedges.

Sighing and running your hand through golden locks, you wonder aloud, “Where do we even begin…”

Timidly she offers to recount her upbringing, not expecting it to spark memories, but hoping it may help you get your bearings. You agree appreciatively and listen until the two-year-old appears at your knees with a flower clasped in each hand.

“Per mammina!” the little one offers, voice as sweet as a wind chime.

“A pansy. Grazie, bambina.”

Turning to you, she holds out a yellow flower on a long stem. “Per papà!”

“A daffodil. Thank you, Valerie,” you answer with a soft lilt — unfamiliar even to you.

As the excited girl runs off again you ask hesitantly, “Does she really know I'm her father or…?”

“Well... I never dreamt she would meet you. Even so, I still wanted her to know and love her father… I take her to view the royal galleries often… and I’ve shown her the portrait in my locket every morning since she was born… I think that's why she recognizes you, but perhaps that's my wishful thinking…”

A great many pieces hang in that gallery. Most of the ones you had posed for had been commissioned in your childhood, or so you recall. Undoubtedly there should be a few more though — one for your coming of age, one when your mother became queen consort, and… one for your wedding…

“So, she never calls anyone else that… Not my brothers, or other blonde haired gentlemen…?”

“Well, she doesn't see her uncles often, but she knows them from the paintings hung in the galleries too. I'm sure she doesn't really understand the difference between the word father and a name, but she's never called any other man papà…”

Like an anchor snagging on a rocky seabed, some part tucked away deep in your heart is steadied — grounded.

“I tried to tell her as much as I remembered to keep you alive in her heart…” she continues, her gaze cast down. “And in mine…”

Dozens of questions swirl like eddies; what was your relationship like? Who were you as a man, a lover, a husband? What does she expect from you now? But the first to break through the whitecaps is far more direct.

“Did I ever… love you?”

In the pause that rises like a tide, you find yourself unconsciously admiring the first gift from the daughter you didn't know you had until half an hour ago.

“Perhaps not passionately, nor even platonically — for you've always been far beyond my realm in intelligence — but in your own way, you took care of me…”

Though you wonder what that could possibly entail when she seems so fearful of you, you're too ashamed to ask. Instead you change the subject to the little child who now returns, her arms full of blossoms the gardeners will undoubtedly find missing later.

“I see… I can assume from Valerie's existence that we at least consummated the marriage. Did we… have such relations often?”

Caressing the head that bobs level with the bench as the happy creature lays out flowers one by one on the seat between you two, she answers, “You were a gentle lover. Never demanding. You only visited my chambers once in a while. The last time was about a week before you went missing.”

Frowning at your own behaviour you turn to find her gaze. “Did I have a mistress? Was there a reason I visited so little?”

“Not that I know of,” she answers evenly but avoids meeting your eyes. “Though, I've heard you took one while in Rholodite.”

Choking back the bile scalding your throat you manage, at length, to string a few words together. “She was never... I... love her… ardently… but she… has never returned my feelings…”

“I see… She must be an incredible woman to have earned your affection.”

The pain in her forced smile is tangible despite her attempts to hide it by focusing on the little girl babbling about the vibrant colours of the stolen flowers.

“Was I that miserly with my attention towards you?” The question stings as it slips past your own lips.

A cool spring breeze shakes the willows, but the rustling isn't enough to cover the hurt as she answers, “I… generally… tried to stay out of your way…”

You watch in silence as Valerie runs off again with giddy laughter and grass-stained palms.

“In plain terms… I pushed you away.”

Picking up the blossoms one by one, a bouquet begins to take shape as she arranges them in her hand.

“You could say that, yes. There was only one time you relied on me…”

“And that was?”

“To collect evidence against the late queen for attempted assassination…”

Part 3

🧡🫣🧡Tag list: @drachonia @outtayourmouth @maries-gallery @lamiefromage @tele86 @queengiuliettafirstlady

[sarilolla]

Watched Trolls Band Together today (in Norwegian in the cinema with my family), and honestly I was originally skeptical to the whole “secret sibling” plot bit, but it worked and was good

My thoughts about the movie (with some spoilers) under the cut

A very fun movie, the dynamics were fun, music was good, and the whole plotline was great. Something I like about the trolls movies, the consequences of failing are always dire. Trolls 1 was being eaten by Bergens (and I love the Bergens, but I think they were a bit easily forgiven. The Putt Putt Trolls had the reaction I would have had (and honestly, Viva reminds me of my Living Forest au Poppy)), Trolls 2 was either erasing all music except for rock (also a bit too easily forgiven considering they destroyed all the other trolls homes) and Poppy breaking the strings and destroying music, and now Trolls 3 were Floyd almost died

Some references did not work in Norwegian, so I am excited to see it in English. Some jokes were said in English for them to make sense, and the older audience enjoyed them. Probably would have enjoyed it even more in English, but the Norwegian voice actors were at least really good

Also, the whole plotline of Velvet and Veneer using trolls (unsure if they used more than just Floyd, or if Floyd was their only victim) and their "essence" to give themselves talent gave me flashbacks to an au I made in 2020 (after world tour) *that I never posted and am now disappointed in myself for not doing*, where a giant species imprison the pop trolls and take their "essence" in special machines. They then use it to make Pop Candy, which isn't the same as the movie, but it was still fun to see that one of my ideas were so close (might actually post something from this, I have WIPs I can post after some more work). I called it "Product Pop", and here's screenshots from my notes app as proof (last worked on in September 2020, but I have never stuff on my google disk)

But, yeah, this movie really woke up the Trolls interest, so I'm thinking about continuing my previous fics. Both can be adapted to fit with what we learned in Trolls 3, but I think I will rewrite both should I continue them (The Putt Putt Pop Trolls would be hella creepy in Experiment Pop though)

Gonna try to be more active in the fandom, and I hope to see more fans once it comes out in the USA (I realize most fans weren't as lucky to get it earlier)

Feel free to ask me stuff, by the way, about my old aus and this ne-ish one

[phoenixfyrebird]

Evil Sparrow AU

Look, I adore Sparrow as a goofy little human just trying to make friends with all the non-humans he’s happened to come across and learn how to be like them…but I also am a sucker for AUs where characters are actually evil or sinister so I bring you this:

In this AU Sparrow basically still wants to obtain powers and abilities of his own, but his method of doing so is far more sinister than canon. Perhaps at one point early on in his quest he pursued his goal with pure intentions...but failure has driven him to the point of madness.

He starts out friendly, acting like some goofy and friendly human that just wants to know how to powers of his own and is able to befriend some of the strangers in this land which will make it so much more easy to eventually steal them away.

Eventually he learns that the magic in this land brings one back upon death, but it's not always something that is certain and so he does not wish to use that method to gain powers since no one really knows how many times a person can die and he doesn't know if it actually works on humans like himself (in this AU, lets pretend the other humans are hybrids).

On the surface, it appears like he's just trying to make due with the resources at his disposal and live a humble life, but unknown to the many others in this land he's actually advanced quite farther than he has in canon. Underground he has a whole lab and many, many ways to figure out exactly what makes hybrids what they are.

Of course, when he does his experiments on the hybrids he tricks into his grasp, he wears a disguise so that they don't know its him and Sparrow can maintain his persona.

Maybe some of the hybrids die during his attempts, maybe once he gets what he wants he kills them himself. Sure they'll get new abilities on death, but that only means he can use them again and again.

Deep down, a part of him knows what he's doing is wrong, but another part that is desperate overshadows it and all morals.

Some amount of time later and Sparrow is still very much human but he does have many powers that he's learned to replicate from those he experimented on so he's technically able to do things humans shouldn't be able to actually do.

I'm sure eventually someone figures it out; either by accident as they stumble upon the lab under Sparrow's area or just by piecing things together over time. Regardless the method of discovery, the truth gets out.

In the end, perhaps all the hybrids that are left unite against him.

There's many ways this AU can end for Sparrow of course, some better than others.

1. Maybe he realizes what he's become and is scared and horrified by what he's done. He flees never to be seen again or goes into hiding and is found by one or more people, who he begs for forgiveness; whether or not they forgive him is open to debate.

If he is forgiven he tries to make amends with others and gets a redemption arc. If not, he's left to wallow in his misery until death.

2. Maybe he's told that he doesn't need powers to be special, that all the hybrids loved him as just the silly human living in their lands. Again, a redemption arc follows and things start looking better for him.

3. Maybe, those that unite against him take all his lives in one fell swoop and he dies a villain with no hope of redemption.

4. Or maybe, he wins and becomes the most powerful human to ever live and returns home with his newfound abilities. The hybrids of the land he crashed into are no more and their powers are now his to exploit.