sortahawkward
Ramblings
50K posts
I am mostly gay and a 100% transmasc disaster. I really love birds, biology, and worldbuilding. @wingbeats on bsky Age: 34. Fandoms: Fire Emblem, Tales of Vesperia, Dragon Age, D&D/Pathfinder. Almost everything is from my queue. He/him
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sortahawkward · 23 minutes ago
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running for president as a member of the American Fujoshi Party with a foolproof plan to address male loneliness
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sortahawkward · 1 hour ago
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you want to die by his hand so bad it makes you look stupid
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sortahawkward · 2 hours ago
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We’re gonna talk about hagfish today, since it is Their Day
Hagfish are vertebrates, but they have no vertebrae! They lack bones entirely, with just a cartilaginous skull and a notochord (making them the only animal with a skull and no spine). They also have no eyes and no jaw. They also like to cuddle.
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Exactly where they fall on the tree of life has been an interesting topic. Historically, they were placed as the sister-group to vertebrates; the vertebrate that diverged the earliest, and remained very primitive-looking. However, with new fossil evidence and DNA analysis, we’ve figured out that they are closest related to the lamprey, another jawless fish that does have eyes and bones! Which means the ancestors of the hagfish did as well, but somewhere along the line they decided, “screw it, I’m going back to being a Worm”.
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The hagfish spends most of its time at the bottom of the ocean, sniffing around for prey. Although they do actively hunt and catch their own food, it’s much easier to eat things that are already dead, so they’re frequently seen snootling around whalefalls and bait set out by scientists, where they feed by rapidly spinning around until they’ve bored a hole straight through the skin and can get to the tasty insides!
But wait, how does a jawless animal feed at all? It just has a little :O face with no teeth!
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Well, great news! That cute little :O isn’t it’s mouth! That’s it’s nose! It’s mouth is underneath.
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Ain’t that nifty?
Being a squishy little guy with no teeth or eyes, defending itself is kind of difficult. Luckily, no one wants to eat a hagfish, because they are gross af. They secrete a very thick slime that chokes predators. About 4% of a hagfish’s body mass is pure slime. This slime is also apparently useful to humans, because it contains strands that are stronger than nylon, offering a way to make more durable and environmentally friendly fabric!
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In summary,
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Happy hagfish day!!
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oooOOOOUUUGHGGGGH
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sortahawkward · 3 hours ago
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Speaking of geoguessr, here's the funniest things I ever saw ingame
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sortahawkward · 4 hours ago
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More Patroclus propaganda youre all welcome
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sortahawkward · 4 hours ago
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im so obsessed with the 5th anniversary art penekor did for feh cuz whyd they stance inigo like a slut. why is he posed like that. chroms off the side like “like teehee im chrom and this is my son the whore” like okkkkayyyyyyyyyyyyyy
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sortahawkward · 5 hours ago
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Homotherium serum
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sortahawkward · 6 hours ago
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no usamerican is able to imagine that other places exist. it is forbidden to them by Underfunded Education System, a unique ailment of the usamerican people. please be mindful they will become agitated when confronted about this, through no fault of their own of course; as another illness that affects only them is Bad Political System
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sortahawkward · 7 hours ago
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listen hobbit pussy could be mediocre (doubtful) but even if it was it's still followed by a 17 course homecooked meal and the kind of weed that would make sauron scared. lithe beautiful immortal elven pussy has no power compared to the simple, hardworking hobbit. and it goes without saying that you cannot handle dwarven pussy.
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sortahawkward · 7 hours ago
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Pure black coffee no sugar
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sortahawkward · 8 hours ago
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top 10 anime betrayals
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sortahawkward · 9 hours ago
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sortahawkward · 10 hours ago
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hey guys we can all agree its like, incredibly sad and fucked up when a trans man feels like he has to apologize for being a man, right. like even jokingly. it’s very concerning that people have created an environment where a trans person is expected to be apologetic about their identity, right.
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sortahawkward · 11 hours ago
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The iron hand of Götz von Berlichingen (1480-1562), a knight and mercenary who lost his right arm in a siege [640×360]
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sortahawkward · 12 hours ago
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In a monumental discovery for paleontology and the first of its kind "Mummy of a juvenile sabre-toothed cat Homotherium latidens from the Upper Pleistocene of Siberia"
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Abstract The frozen mummy of the large felid cub was found in the Upper Pleistocene permafrost on the Badyarikha River (Indigirka River basin) in the northeast of Yakutia, Russia. The study of the specimen appearance showed its significant differences from a modern lion cub of similar age (three weeks) in the unusual shape of the muzzle with a large mouth opening and small ears, the very massive neck region, the elongated forelimbs, and the dark coat color. Tomographic analysis of the mummy skull revealed the features characteristic of Machairodontinae and of the genus Homotherium. For the first time in the history of paleontology, the appearance of an extinct mammal that has no analogues in the modern fauna has been studied. For more read here: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-024-79546-1
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sortahawkward · 13 hours ago
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sortahawkward · 14 hours ago
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Hired a moving company and they sent four strong, strapping, beautiful lads to my house to disassemble my furniture and move all my things. I loved them. I got them pizza. They told me moving company gossip. I missed them one minute after they left. My moving lads. Come back to me. You're so strong and so well trained in safe lifting
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