#i hope i manage to keep this productivity up tho

[parasolids]

im trying this thing where i hide my phone when i work and its insane im actually getting things done

[reallychaoticwoo]

Can i get an ateez Reaction to you having period stain at send off?

⛓️This is gonna be fun lol! Please remember in this household we are most definitely delusional so these will absolutely not be the most realistic scenarios⛓️

✨️ Ateez reacting to y/n having a period stain at send-off✨️

❤️Pairing: Ateez (individually) x reader

⚠️Warnings: cussing, fluff, some suggestiveness 🤍👀 Pretty tame, I think? Lmk if I missed anything, tho!

‼️This is purely for entertainment purposes and does not represent the idols in any way‼️

🖤Hope you enjoy!🖤

Hongjoong:

Noticing it he'd be quick to have his manager pull you aside as discrete as possible. Having a staff member get you a jacket or hoodie to help you cover up the red stain. He'd offer to take you to his hotel room and give you a change of clothes and new sanitary items letting you stay with him until your original outfit could be cleaned.

Seonghwa:

His need to be a caregiver takes over instantly. He'd discreetly hand you a photocard or note telling you which staff member to go to. You'd be given new sanitary products and taken to a private room until send off was over. He'd take you back to his hotel room, get you a change of clothes, and offer pain meds, cuddles, food, or to help with cramps (iykyk) whatever you needed he would be more than willing to provide.

Yunho:

Yunho would somehow make a big deal about it without making a big deal about it. Taking off his jersey and signing it before handing it to you with a soft whisper in your ear telling you to use it to hide the stain and meet him after send-off. Naturally that would cause everyone to look at you but at least you had a shield now. After everyone left he'd take you to go buy some new pants and out to grab a bite since you two were friends now anyways.

Yeosang:

The chaotic sweetie he is, would probably notice it a little too hard making you question why he kept looking at you the way was. Feeling guilty for basically staring at your vag he'd nervously lean closer and inform you of your definitely noticeable stain. Your wide eyed reaction would have him offering to let you hide out in one of the back rooms for the time being until he could meet you to help you find a solution. The solution? We'll you were now in his bed napping naked while he had someone run and grab you new clothes. Don't worry you definitely ended up getting some pain relief when you woke up 😉

San:

It's almost instant that he's asking you if he can "help you out with that" a smug but sweet smile on his face as he glances down and back up. The panicked reaction to his not so subtle words causing him to chuckle before handing you his hotel room info. Once he arrived you'd be well taken care of, fed a nice warm meal, and be put in his clothing afterwards. If you didn't already know, he's adopted you now, somewhat like a stray kitten. So you're his 🤷🏻‍♀️

Mingi:

As much as I love this man, my first instinct is that he'd try to be discrete and end up letting the entire room know somehow. His voice being way to loud and him being way too hype after the concert. Feeling guilty for informing an entire room of people of your situation he'd then offer to take you out to buy some new clothes. Shopping with him somehow turned into an arcade date and then ice cream. He thinks you're dating now? You're 100% cool with that.

Wooyoung:

As soon as he spots it he's running to either San or Hwa to get you help in the hands of a more mature adult. Meeting up with you after send off to apologize for not getting to address you properly amidst his childish panic. Trying to make light of the situation he'd probably ask if you had a "blood kink or something" to which you'd definitely be hitting his arm huffing at, earning yourself one of his famous Cheshire grins. He's gonna go ask San if they can keep you now. San would then ask Seonghwa to ask Hongjoong. To which the captain would reluctantly agree due to the request of his favorite member.

Jongho:

For the first time in send off history this man stripped off a layer of his clothing. He'd seen the stain a few people down so when he made it to you his hoodie was already dropped over his arm and ready to be given to his manager who would pull you to the back of the room and hand it to you. Stopping you on your way out he'd hand you a pair of sweats from his bag he kept in the dressing room and ask if you'd like to change here and go grab a coffee.

[priksie]

Koba x Reader

PRT 2

Words count : 1248

Warnings : mild violence ( mention of murder ) / mentions of blood

a change in your plan

The second part of my fanfiction , like before please do not hesitate if you have any advice and more for me.

This is the first time I'm writing something and English is also not my first language :))))

Also I decided that I wouldn't be following a lot of the plot of the movies , I'll keep the actions he did. But I don't feel like following the whole story.

-------------------------------------------

A few hours passed , the tension and the panic was slowly buildings every where. The glass of almost all door were broken and laying around you and your colleagues that didn't already got attacked. You weren't sure what was happening exactly , no one was telling you what was going on and you couldn't figure out what went wrong.

We're is he ? Is he safe ? Did he finally escape from there ?

People were screaming , animals were too.Television was diffusing in people house horrible images of ape escaping from zoo and from the same places she was working at , they were destroying everything theirs hands could get a hold off.

You could hear siren outside and shooting noise.

People were getting killed, even the one that never hurted them. You didn't even know how you managed to hide yourself , supposing that it was only your luck that this small room with brooms and household products was open. You had closed the door behind you and turned the light off before sitting down next to the door and glued yourself to the wall hoping that no one will be coming here.

You couldn't hide there forever, it was just until it was calmer inside of that particular place so you could escape.

As you tried to think about everything to forget what was happening you couldn't get out of your mind that it wasn't a surprise, they finally had enough and started to fight back , human can't keep them in cage forever without them fighting and run away one day.

WE deserved it. Even you , even if you tried to help them you still helped those people by working for them. You didn't deserve to just run away.

The way your heart was beating gave you the impression that it was going to explose , tears rolling down your face as you tried to calm yourself down. A hand on your mouth hoping to hide the noise of fear that was coming out of you.

It was the first time your body was sweating so much , it had never shaken that much before either .

distress , that's the only thing you felt.

How long ago did all of this started ? the feeling of having been sitting there for hours started to drive you crazy but the shock was keeping ou frozen in place , there weren't as much noise outside of your small room anymore tho so slowly, you started to wonder if you could come out.

It took another Ten minutes before you could start moving again and standing up with those trembling legs.

Hand slowly reached for the door handle, taking a deep breath you turned it to open the door before being stopped by a new dose of fear, adrenaline taking over your entire body when the shadow of what appeared to be one of those monkeys was in front of the door. He was visible through the window of the door, no proof that he saw you but you were convinced of it. despite everything, he simply leaves after giving you a quick glance. You weren't even really sure he saw you, it was dark inside the room you were in , the light had been turned off after all..because if he had seen you , he would have killed you right ?

It was him, you were sure. He Knew you were here and some part of you hoped he had been there still to look if you were okay.

Your head peaked out of the room , still hiding a bit behind the door you tried to look if he was still around but you only saw debris, blood...and even the corpse of at least one of your former colleagues lying on the ground.

your heart was still beating like it was going to stop. but everything seemed strangely calmer, you must find shelter, other people with whom you can protect yourself from danger.

It's only the beginning

---

FREEDOM , he was finally free and he will not let anyone approach him or hurt him ever again. His hatred for human , the fear of what they could do to him again got so much more intense now that he had real control of himself and now that he tasted the freedom after being locked up in a cage.

He will have revenge , he will not them forget what happened to him because of human selfishness.

His own heart was beating fast , the adrenaline through his vein wasn't helping to calmhis nerves.

I don't want to be alone. I'm free now and I don't want to be as alone as I always was here

He hasn't seen her , did she die ? Did she run away ? He hasn't seen her body anywhere so she must be gone. He was so confused , she needed to die too she didn't help him and she hasn't saved him either she didn't deserve any pity but at the same time....koba didn't want her dead , not by his hand or not in front of him at least he doesn't want to see her like that...but why?! He hated that feeling it was confusing him and he was getting irritated by it too.

Unconsciously he had been looking for her as he was going around in what was a few hours ago his prison.

Hoping in the back of his mind that he would see her at least one more time before leaving for good. As much as he would want to , he wouldn't trust her either. What if she treated him like a monster now that he was out ? Now that he could actually fight back? She would treat him like a horrible animal that needed to be put down like they all did and he was so sure of it.

Wandering alone , in that place that was so familiar to him...he had that strange feeling.

He was walking , exploring that place alone without anyone around him guiding him into a place to prepare him for another torture. It still didn't feel reassuring , he was so used to being around only for human sick nature that he didn't feel like he should be there at all.

Koba had the impression that at any moment , he will be opening his eyes and be back in the sell he grow up into.

Someone was still there , he knew it. Someone hasn't left this place and was still alive.

There wasn't a lot of room that hadn't been destroyed yet , only a small number of rooms were still like before. And he was close to one of them.

He was a few feet away from a door with some hope that you will be inside of there but at the same time he didn't want you to be here , still maybe waiting for your death or your possible escape.

The ape slowly walked towards the door when he started to hear a slight sound. someone was in there and he could hear it.

Please be alive , but don't come close to me. Hide like you hoped I didn't see you and just go away.

He stopped Infront of the door , the glass that was making a small window for people to see in made him able to look inside....it was surely dark but you were close enough to the door and finally he saw you , still alive and you were about to run away. He didn't stay long enough for you to realize that it was actually him , at least he hoped so and he didn't wait to see if you did before he went away . He got his confirmation, you didn't die yet and if you do die it wouldn't be because of him.

[screechingsandwichtriumph]

this request might actually be kinda short for once, cuz its like 1 am and im a bit eepy

but you should tooootally write platonic yan!avengers + yan!peter with a seemingly stoic teen!reader. when they joined the team the avengers (except for peter) were kinda dreading having another teen around bc it meant more energeticness. but when they meet y/n, they're just super...chill? like they get their missions done so quickly it seems like they just went for a quick errand.

i feel like peter would be kinda intimidated by them, they probably don't smile a lot and they're only seen when something needs to be done. it would be pretty funny tho if everyone thought y/n lowkey hated them but in their mind it's just "omg my friendsss!!! i love them so dearly i hope im not a bother :)" (that's probably why wanda would be the only one that isn't intimidated by them)

bonus points if peter hears y/n talking to somebody in their room and they peek in and see them talking to their stuffed animals like they're pets and cuddling them tenderlyyy. like they just hear in the kindest voice ever "hello my sweet baby!! ohh i missed you so much *mwah mwah mwah* you're so soft and sweet i love youuuuu"

BONUS bonus points if he takes a pic and frames it like the weirdo he is

LOVE THE ASK AND I JUST TALKING TO YOUR STUFFED ANIMALS-

But also the y/n you are describing is like - the opposite of me?

Like I AM that bubble of energya and I own it up , so writing a stoic reader is HARD

Nonetheless, I thing that kind of reader will get along with bucky pretty great? Idk why I just think that Bucky would totally get that reader likes them , and just doesn't show it as much

Also I think Steve would appreciate reader b they are so effective?

This is like nothing , but I am exhausted from my studies and writer's block is a BITCH

AMD ALL the avengers trying to get closer to reader and in their minds they are filling bc reader isn't showing no kind of emotions at their tries

Meanwhile all reader can do is have a positive freak out on their mind, bc 'NAT NOTICED I LOVE THAT CHOCOLATE AND WENT OUT TO GET ME MORE??:')'

And then like they return to their room and begin jumping on he bed??

After a while when peter tells the other avengers about his and readers interaction, the avengers start monitoring readers room to find out their feelings

That's how they can access you , knowing whenever you're sad or happy or you liked their joke(you will rehearse it to your teddies)

They feel the need to check on the cameras more often when Wanda isn't around to confirm that you did NOT hate them

And while Peter is quite intimidated by you , he keeps trying and trying to get a positive reaction out of you

When he finally manages that , he is utterly thrilled , telling tony all about it and feeling like a star!

K also tony would install cameras in your teddies eyes do the avengers could feel like you were talking at them and not the teddies

Will probably get back to it when I am feeling productive-

[winterwump]

Suggestion: cheon taejin x kwak jihan head cannons (general) please! If u have time ❤

General Headcanons for Taejin & Jihan

Here you gooo!!! I’m so surprised that you came to me with a request, but thank you. I’m dangerously in love with Taejin, so to have someone request something with him in it was fun!! ENJOY🤩

❎Cheon Taejin❎

Like most people, Taejin has his set of guilty pleasures. One that immediately came to me is that he loves trash tv. I mean like the over-produced melodramatic dramas that come on in the dead of night. He LOVES that shit💀💀💀

Tbh, I can make a whole list of hygiene Headcanons for this man just cuz I know he smells good, but Imma keep it short🥴:

Taejin is a FIRM believer in the power that good grooming holds. He takes extra extra care of his hair, using high-quality (and prolly overpriced) products. And he always makes it to his regularly scheduled hair appointments to keep the color on point.

I’m pretty sure he’s a bottle blonde, but he's so proud of that so there’s no point in making jokes about it.

Buuuut if you really wanna get on his nerves, just pretend like you can see his roots. That would drive him up a wall😵

For someone who lives in South Korea, Taejin is not a huge fan of foods that have an ass load of garlic in them. He knows that his diet has an impact on his body odor so he has to limit his garlic intake.

Taejin runs hot (I mean just look at him🥵)

 like he’s just one big space heater so he prefers - no he NEEDS to sleep with a fan going. Like, that bitch is up high and there are fuckin gale force winds in the room and he’s KNOCKED OUT like *watch dis* 

He doesn’t look like it but, Taejin is a light-ass sleeper. If it's not humming from his fan, then it needs to either shut up or go to hell💀

✳️Kwak Jihan✳️

He’s never been to an amusement park EVER. He’s always wanted to go to one, but he either doesn't have time or he just forgets to go.

He’s been to one of those fall-time southern fairs so that’s close enough (lol)

Ya’ll, when I tell you that  Jihan is sick of people asking about his eyes - I mean he is SICK of it.

Like 2 or 3 questions about his eyes are manageable, but after the 3rd time, he’s ready to go like the convo gets cut short.

This man is so unaware of how jarring his accent and dialect are. Like, if it's ever brought up when he’s in Seoul, he’ll be so confused “II’m speaking so normally tho💀” (As a Southerner, this is my life)

Despite what his hair looks like, Jihan doesn’t actually style his hair much if not at all. He has a perfect Shake-N-Go growing from his scalp (Lucky bastard lolol)

Oh and the same thing with his eyebrows (Tbh, none of these men do their eyebrows prolly)

He’s a sucker for soup. Soup of all kinds, but meaty soups with light broths are what does him in for real. Example: Dak Gomtang 

I feel like even though he’s young, Jihan watches the news (and by extension all TV) like an old man. I mean this exact picture *dis* 

I think he gets it from Jibeom, who gets it from Jichang, who prolly got it from Bakgu. They all do it and none of them acknowledge it🤣

Oh and the weather channel is his favorite (cuz I said so lol)

Okayy I hope ya'll like this one. I feel as if I misinterpreted the request so take this for now, and I will rewrite this in a shipping context. BYE!!!

[winryrockbellwannabe]

38-41 dop - [20 - 23/january]

hmm weird days tbh.

I barely remember anything about them except that i studied for my Biophysics test, and then i took it yesterday lol. It went well btw.

📷 Also, i realized that filming myself while studying is a good way to keep myself accountable when I don't feel that much motivation. And everytime i try to look at my phone i remember it's filming, which stops me from reaching for it and guilt trips me to keep studying, so another advantage :))

............. now about ✨today✨ ..................

42 dop (January 24th)

surprisingly good day

I woke up feeling so meh, barely managed to do anything in the morning. But then my friend was feeling off as well, and he called me.

🍲It really changed my mood immediately, i managed to prepare my lunch, do the dishes, and prepare myself to take a shower. So then we decided to videochat in the afternoon to study together. I somehow managed to revise half the topics for my Biostats exam (im going to retake it)

👩🏻‍💻 Even tho my friend still wasn't in the mood for studying, i somehow still managed to be productive, i think i just needed some human contact to give me the strength to actually move and do the stuff i wanted to do, bc i was basically in freeze mode, which sucked.

👩🏻‍🎓 We also did some research about our master degree options and subjects, we usually can't choose which subjects to take (they're mandatory of the degree) but in our master's we'll be able to choose a few optionals from a selection, so we also discussed those a bit and searched about it during my study breaks.

Aand now im going to study some more :)) Hope y'all have a wonderful day 🦋

[ros3ybabe]

Life Update After a Few Days: October 18th, 2023 🎀

I’ve been a little busy with school, work, resting, and starting my workout routine back up, so here’s a little update!

I’m getting a tattoo soon! I know the aesthetic of my blog is pink and girly and coquette and I love everything that comes with the aesthetic and the lifestyle but I have an affinity for gothic style/spooky tattoos, so I’m getting a decent sized spider tattoo on my right thigh and I’m super excited! This is the first big ish sized tattoo besides the two small ones I have, and it’s the first tattoo appointment I’ve ever made so I’m really excited. A little anxious, especially for the shading portion of it, but I’m looking forward to how good it’s going to look when it’s finished and how much more confident it’s going to make me!

I’ve started working out at the gym again! My current schedule is three days of weightlifting (pull day, leg day, push day), and two days of just cardio. It feels so nice both mentally and physically to be taking care of myself like this again. I even bought some new workout shorts and gym clothes and I’m feeling better than ever! I’m focusing on improving my mental health right now and working out is doing wonders for me!

I’m working so much right now, but it’s worth it because I need the money for rent, tattoos, gym stuff, groceries, and whatever other necessities and wants pop up. I’m pulling doubles most Saturdays and it’s a little tiresome and energy draining but I’m managing pretty well. I won’t pull doubles every Saturday tho because that drives me straight into burnout and I’m trying to avoid that.

I hit 31 days on Duolingo and I’m at 28 days on Busuu, super proud of myself for keeping up with those two goals for now! I’m still working through the first two lessons of Genki and I’m still using the Kanji app but my studying has been a little bit more spread out because of my busy schedule. I’m trying to learn how to better balance multiple things without hyperfixating on just one and forgetting about everything else. I’ve noticed I tend to do that and that’s not the most productive thing for me.

I think I mentioned in a previous post that I spent a lot of money on stuff from Amazon (and Ulta) and most of it is here already besides the last couple Amazon items coming in today! I love the workout clothes I bought and the fitness/health tracker planner I bought is really interesting. I also got my language tracking bullet journal stuff in the mail so I am super looking forward to starting that up soon. Again, I noticed I tend to hyperfixate on one thing at a time but right now I’m trying to balance all my interests and things I need to do. My current “balance breakup” is: fitness/nutrition, Japanese language study, school/classes and academic success, work/making money, self care (sleep, skincare, reading, journaling, etc), boyfriend time, appointments, and chores/cleaning/housework. Sounds like a lot but there’s 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week. Not everything has to be done in one day and as long as I manage my time efficiently, then I’ll be successful. I also try to take into account my energy levels, daily tasks, possible “curveballs”, and my current physical and mental/emotional well being. Flexibility is a must in my life but I do like having routines and things to stick to, plan and schedule wise.

I’ve been working on some posts ideas for this blog so it’s not just daily updates and stuff, but actual tips, advice, and my current routines and schedules too, to maybe help motivate and inspire you guys! I have some things in mind currently, so hopefully I can find the time to type them up and post them!

Thank you guys for 850+ followers! I never thought my blog could grow like this and I’m super happy it has! This community has given me such a safe and comforting place where I can just be myself without worry. I appreciate all of you so much!! I hope all of you have amazing days, amazing sleep, amazing skin, amazing grades, and that life is going great for all of you!

that’s pretty much all I have to update you on for now. I will be posting a Daily Check In tonight about how today went as well, to help me get back on track with posting!

til next time, lovelies 🩷🤍

[miniimapp]

Jesse - You Boys Are the (Homosexual) Supporting Cast

Gen;; Fluff - Headcanons

Warnings ;; no ?? i mean,, stress and anger (from reader pov) but not really ??

Proofread + Edited ;; a little bit actually,, mainly when going through and adding the bold and the blue and the italics lmao

Auth. Note ;; bet y'all thought i died.. nah i ain't never leaving i'm just clumsy af and smashed my phone into smithereens,, prolly got y'all tho lmaoooo

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈«

Jesse is an insufferable flirt

Which would be fine if you didn't have shit to do

But you do !!

Accepting the roles of stage manager as well as assistant director was the worst choice you could have ever made

So help the world if you ever get your hands on a time machine

The school production may fall apart but at least your mental health would still be somewhat intact

But for now you're stuck with mountains of responsibilities and a sweet fucking annoying distraction

Speaking of said distraction

Jesse plays the lead's best friend and also an asshole who won't let you get on with your work

So he has his fair share of time on stage

But even then, you can barely catch a break

As soon as he steps foot into the wings he somehow immediately finds you

It honestly baffles you how differently Jesse acts in and out of class

Okay but on a real note you can't be at all angry at Jesse

Not when he's being so sweet and charming

Even though he keeps getting in your way

At one point, when the director was sick so you had to take that over whilst being stage manager and assistant director as well you had snapped at Jesse

He hadn't even been flirting with you at that point

Mans was literally just in the vicinity

Apparently that was enough of a crime to warrant your wrath

You absolutely still cringe thinking about that day

You hadn't shouted or anything

No, no you'd angrily whispered

And because you were stressed and upset your voice jumped like 5 octaves

Okay maybe not but it felt that way

You were giving mickey mouse realness

Which we love :D

It just wasn't the time

It's never the time for mickey mouse realness in today's society smh

You were on the verge of tears and mass murder which is always a good combination

(why are you always breaking down around this man fr)

Jesse had stared at you wide-eyed as you shat out a monologue of stress and misplaced anger

And once you were finished, chest heaving and feeling lighter than you had in a while, Jesse sends you an encouraging smile

"Sorry, sweetheart, I never meant to offend ya. Honestly, I was kinda hoping I was breaking up your stress, that's where I was coming from anyway. Still, I only caused you grief, not very fair of me, I'll admit."

You sniffed, awkwardly laughing things off and rubbing at your face

"Sorry for snapping at you. God, why is it whenever we talk I'm always freaking out."

Jesse laughs, a cheeky grin lighting up his face

"It's so I can rescue you from the depths of your despair, like your very own knight in shining armour."

Your roll your eyes good-naturedly, your own smile making it's way onto your face

"Oh, my hero!"

You pretend to swoon and Jesse's smile widens

You give yourself a second to take a breath, realising that, as bad as it seems afterwards, you really needed this

"Thank for, um, listening I guess. I didn't realise how much I needed to get off my chest until I was throwing it at you so I'm sorry but thank you."

Jesse gives a small nod and smile

"Anytime...well, maybe not any but you get what I mean."

After getting over that bump in the road the two of you get on like a house on fire

And you quickly come to appreciate the break in routine that Jesse gives you

You never quite realise how much the stress is getting to you until Jesse drags you away from your scripts and into something else

Something fun

As you two become closer you notice that he's started becoming more.. touchy

Like brushing stray hairs out of you face

Or tapping the tip of your nose

Or giving you a side hug before going on stage

Or leaning up against you to read over your notes

Things like that

And at first you thought they were innocent, unconscious actions

Until of course he started winking at you as he walked on stage

Or smirking at you after smoothing down a stray hair

Or making stupid comments as he moves away

Jesse is absolutely fucking with you

This absolute bitch

You're about to pull up fr

And his flirting continues throughout the whole rehearsal period

And you love it

It gives you happy butterflies in your chest and stomach

It's bearable you suppose...

But his secret winks and smiles directed only at you do get you thinking a little bit

You've never really watched the rehearsals properly

Probably not a good thing to be realising now, seeing as you have such important roles

Oh well, you haven't ruined the show yet

Everything will probably be just fine

Obviously you'd directed and checked for cues when leading everyone backstage but you'd never just watched it

So as the rehearsals left before opening night dwindle to only a few you decide you'll just watch for once

And somehow you've never noticed that Jesse's character has a love interest

Not a problem

You have zero problems

Next question

Okay shut up

It does slightly grind on your nerves watching their confession scene

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

It's fine.

No worries.

You can handle this.

But it certainly doesn't help that Jesse keeps making eye contact with you when saying his lines

Like,, bro

The director in you wants to scream

He's meant to be confessing to his love interest, not you !!

Make eye contact with the love interest !!

But the rest of you ??

Simply ascending every time Jesse confesses while gazing into your eyes

The dreamy asshole

Not so subtly glad he's looking at you and not at them

It's getting kinda hard to distinguish between reality and fiction

And the heat in your cheeks won't disappear regardless so that's great

Your only saving grace is that Jesse doesn't keep his eyes on you throughout the whole scene

But every time without fail, just before the scene ends, Jesse searches for your gaze and holds it, uttering his character's final line

"My love, for you I would do anything."

[natelawtism]

im sleepy so tell me some sleepytime (bedtime) scenarios with rowan and nate :3

OKOKKK OH MY GOD I've been so busy but I'll finally have a break after tomorrow so I hope this blog is prepared.

BEDTIME SCENARIOS! First of all, Nate has a bedtime. Self-given bedtime. (Side note this also means that Eve has a bedtime because Nate says that they BOTH need to be asleep by a certain time.) So when they have sleepovers Ro ALSO now has a bedtime.

So, Mr revenge bedtime procrastination is FORCED to sleep at like 9. Especially if they have no work to do? Bedtime early.

And... he really doesn't mind when he can fall asleep cuddling Nate. Nate would rather have a sisyphusian task for eternity than admit they cuddle each other to sleep but on very rare occasions they do!!! (In the future it happens a lot more often)

It's also 110% NOT intentional. Most of the time they're cuddling and doing something or SUPPOSED to be awake and one of them falls asleep... so the other just stays! They can't bear to move 🥹🥹 (at the beginning of their relationship Nate would wake Rowan up but only after a few indulgent minutes :3c) They also don't sleep in the same bed until around 2 years into their relationship.

Nate has a bedtime routine!! It's just a bit of skincare and haircare since he puts extra care into hygiene (but the haircare is very expected, he keeps his dreads healthy). Eve helped him get the products, and now he has a good bit of skincare knowledge! He also totally wears a bonnet to bed to care for his hair, even if it isn't included in his pj outfit in the game. Debating what it looks like tho...

Honest to god, Rowan just throws pjs on, plays video games, conks out. There is NO bedtime routine there. You'd think that he'd have a steady routine- but getting motivation to take care of himself is an upward battle. So sometimes he takes morning showers, sometimes at night, but he always attempts to get stuff done.

Side note yet again- Nate really helps him with motivation by making him do things. A lot of the time he struggles with getting tasks done and procrastinating, but he tells himself "Nate would be disappointed if I don't do this" and it gets him to do it, OR Nate makes him get up and get to things. Sometimes forcing himself to work is all he needs --;

When they're living together, one of them often has to get the other to get to bed shdjdks 😭 and it's Nate 70% of the time. He's never been able to truly break his boyfriend's sleeping tendencies- no matter how hard he tries 😭

But law school is HARD, and so is the bar exam, so on the rare occasion Ro will find a Nate who's lost track of time and has to remind him to sleep. Often on nights like this, Nate is locked onto his work without anything distracting him, and he can get lost in his work easily. Rowan teases him about it since THE ever so punctual Nate Lawson is losing track of time, but ultimately he just wants Nate to rest and to take his mind off of everything complicated.

Days like this he tries to fight Rowan on the fact he needs to do his nighttime routine- but Ro is NOT hearing him. Most of the time Nate is wayyy too sleepy to even manage that, and Ro knows Nate well enough to know DAMN well, so he just has to push him to bed and keep him there.

Rowans cat also often decides bedtime, since her internal clock will tell her that it's time to nap and she wants to nap NOW. She will not let up until they're in bed and peaceful

[gunsatthaphan]

#I have a feeling that this is event might be the worst one so far lol - i agree. the spoilers we’ve gotten have made me - if anything less excited for the event. maybe it’s because i’m attached to a lot of the older established ships and i’d rather have gmmtv focus on them, but all of the (rather obvious) new cps, that will be introduced, made me go 😬.

i genuinely do not understand why they keep introducing new pairs IF none of their established pairs are planning to end their partnership. the success of their bls has been lacking lately because they keep going for the same stories over and over again (a lot of them only end up being successful because they put their most popular couples in those bls i.e. ppw or g4) and introducing new ships isn’t as easy as it used to be simply because the bl market, while still being a niche genre, has been so “oversaturated” so people can pick and choose. so we’ll see how this will go

i do hope for at least two or three gls tho because the girls deserve all the love

yeah we barely got any spoilers to begin with so either they're gatekeeping extra hard this year and are managing to hide some huge surprises or it's just gonna be boring as hell lmao.

I disagree about the ships, I do like the OG pairs but I'm definitely also an advocate for new ships lol. Not sure which are the "obvious" ones you're talking about, probably PP and AC, but I'm actually intrigued by those lol. And I don't think debuting new ships should mean the old ones should disband as long as they are comfortable, get solo works as well and the cp merch still sells which is the case for most.

But anyway yes, the BLs this year have not been good due to the fact that they keep relying on the ships rather than the stories which is sad in so many ways. They know that fans will suck everything up as long as it's a popular pair which is technically nothing new but it's still frustrating to see. Especially since I cannot comprehend what ppl even see in most of those ships lmao rip. I miss the times where they actually tried to stand out with their BLs. They're feeling too secure and the quality suffers.

All of their effort seems to be going into the bromance genre lately which is um. interesting lol. Both Peaceful Property and Highschool Frenemy, as well as their older non-bl hits are excellent productions and are popular despite not having any canonic romance and instead implications that are left to the viewer's imagination etc. And especially after the success of HSF I'm expecting more shows to follow that lead.

GLs are on the rise which is good so I'm expecting more to come. 23.5 was mid and Pluto has been amazing so it's a 50/50 situation rn lol. I have high hopes for "Us" as well though so hopefully at least gmmtv are shortening or skipping the high school romance phase for their GLs which the BL world still can't seem to shake even after 8 years lmao.

I'll keep an open mind for the event, if those 2 new pairs are actually happening then I would be excited, plus the newly fixed pairs with only 1 show (MilkLove, SeaKeen, GreatInn) will surely get new works, plus I would like to see more solo works for the other fixed pairs, not to mention more diverse genres lol ✌🏻

xxx

[the---hermit]

24|12|2022

My months of rest and relaxation // day 46

Today I spent the whole morning with my best friend who came back home for the holidays. We met over breakfast and had a lovely time catching up. I really hope we can make the best of the time she will be here. On another note I am considering dnf-ing The Secret Life Of Trees, it's super interesting but I am hating the way it's written. I really have no idea what to do.

Productivity:

Posted this introduction to my journaling 101 series of posts that will come out newt week

Continued reading Baptism Of Fire by Andrzej Sapkowski (I have finally found the rightht combo to not get stuck with this books, and it is to read the book while listening to the audiobook, plus writing down a few notes at the end of each chapter in order to keep track of the important informations that are given. I am pretty sure I'll be finishing before the end of the year, but I am not sure if I'll manage to squeeze in some other book before 2023)

Practiced Irish on duolingo

Self care:

Read first thing in the morning

Spent the morning with my best friend

Chilled under a blanket reading for most of the afternoon

lunlun's reading challenge // day 26

The best place to read?

It depends on lots of things. I like to create a cozy space for myself when I can with a fairer light, and a warm blanket, and that can either be on my bed, or in the early mornings in the kitchen when I'm alone. We also have a super comfortable reading chair, but I usually sit there reading when there's no one in the house, or else I's get pretty distracted. I like to switch up as much as I can tho. In the summer I also love to read in my garden, I often study there too and it's amazing. One thing I have never done but I'd love to do is to go to a random field nearby and just read there in the summer, I don't know why I never did that, but I'd love to do it next year.

[lunachats]

finally making real strides on Not being financially dependent on my parents by doing a little bit of work every day and. and geez! it really does feel like im having to employ every trick in the book here to maintain a steady work pace. like im using everything ive learned about my mind and body over the past most-of-a-decade. all in the service of getting an admittedly very small amount of work done on a daily basis.

like, i gotta make sure to do a lil exercise. to stave off the sadness. oh and of course i have to eat well. gotta get the right balance of carbs and protein to maintain my energy and avoid sugar crashes. and i gotta also eat an actual healthyish meal once a day or so, cause too much frozen or fast food has physical & mental health impacts i cant really afford. daily meditation is important. reduced anxiety and increased focus are indispensible for this project! it has to be the right type of meditation tho. if i focus too hard i start to get lil panic attacks, or whatever you wanna call it when anxiety prevents me from functioning. oh and there's also the Void. very different from sadness and anxiety. still kinda learning to manage that one. but i think i have to feed it enriching activities to keep the dread of meaninglessness away. origami, playing catch with myself, browsing the indie web. this one's more complicated than the others, but i think i'm getting a foothold on it at least. then there's the whole system of miscellaneous tricks and coping mechanisms that feels vaguely like an additional resource management mechanic of its own. got friends on discord that can cheer me up, if they're online and emotionally present at the right time. got tulpas i can talk to and imaginary places i can visit. i can make art, too, when i have time and motivation. in leiu of other grounding strategies i can always eat a carrot, or leave the house, or neutrally observe my surroundings. out of all of these, i dont always remember which tool to use, and they dont always work the way im hoping, but there's options. and if i get one or two things wrong and reach for the right tool at the wrong time, oopsie doopsie! that's a whole half-day of productivity down the drain... i guess this is just logically what unmedicated adhd and mental illness feels like from the inside. but meds aren't really an option right now, so i guess im just gonna keep doing all of this stuff and hope that maybe in 6-10 months, when all of these habits have started to crystallize, when im thusly more in shape and my house is cleaner and ive got savings in the bank and jhana at my fingertips and an arsenal of additional time-saving kitchen utilities... well, perhaps then managing my wellness so that i can work for a living won't feel like some kinda cross between a tightrope walk and a high-stakes rts game...

[janiedean]

I know it's been a long time, but do you plan on writing Sandor's pov of the Heart Thing series? I'm poor, so I won't commission the fic, but I wanted to at least know how you think he'd deal with it (ex, would he hide and try to ignore it, would he try to be a better person, whisper almost-kind words to it when Sansa is sad?)

hey anon, first of all thank you so much for the kind words and please no need to commission anything like I'm just glad people still remember it T_T

that said with answers for both your questions:

yes I do plan on writing that but when it happens is... up in the air because meh like I'm trying to not sound whiny about it but if it wasn't clear from my less than stellar production lately my mental health has been completely down the drain lately and as it is rn I'm finding it extremely hard to put words together unless I have an extremely hard deadline and as it is I'm trying to finish a bunch of comms that I started but I'm like really struggling with liking anything that I write so tldr: yes but it could be three months from now and it could be next year, sure af I hope it's sooner rather than later because I really don't relish any of this but eh T_T

how he'd deal with having it: first time it happens (which would be after they get together which like.. he can't actually deny it's A Thing yknow she got his so) he thinks he someone went on a bender and forgot even if he tried to cut down on the drinking and then he's like oh god nope it's really here what the fuck and immediately gives it back to her like IM NOT WORTHY HERE, she's like yeah okay sure but I don't think it's gonna end here (she's fine with it), the second time he gets it is when she's sad for some reason and she's not nearby so he has to take care of it and actually worry about it and he's like god what do I do and just keeps it close and tries to not make anyone notice, then it happens again when something bad happens to her and she's not immediately nearby and as you said he tries to tell it something nice which for his standards would be weird but it actually works because she actually feels better and then she's all smug when she tells him and he's like wait what are you fucking kidding me

and she's like sure I'm not :DDDDDDDD

so pattern he always gets it when she's sad or down or has dealt with crappy people and so on and at some point he just embraces it like yknow what I denied it for ages but it makes no sense that I should now oKAY FINE I'M NOT UNWORTHY OF THAT

sansa is just :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD for the entire next month and robb's like did you just propose her or what NOT THAT I'D SAY NO AND NOT LIKE SHE DOESN'T WANT IT sandor is like maaaybe that's uh for another time MAYBE

he probably springs the maaaybe weee should make it official thing not long later tho

robb is just extremely happy of how he matchmade half of this union XD

ngl there were things I wanted to do in that verse including the throbb fic and sansa meeting brienne like you were my role model too but eh as stated at this point I'll be just glad if I manage to finish my commission backlog and/or literally anything that won't feel like crap after five lines so i can't guarantee it's happening at any point soon, sorry anon T_T

[dismightyman]

I finally have the time so imma drop some Vice stats cause she deserves it (this is gonna be long I’m sorry)

She’s 5’9 and honestly a little bitter about it cause her whole family was like 6’4 and above

Not many scars as most of the time she’s behind the wheel or in the air

Which doesn’t mean she can’t absolutely destroy someone when she wants too, she just doesn’t get the opportunity as often as the other Taskforce members

She prefers to be on the ground in a vehicle to flying. She’s an okay pilot but is truly a wizard behind the wheel.

She has a very dry sense of humor, so occasionally in the middle of an op you might hear her make a comment about the weather or talk about what’s happening like it’s rush hour in a busy city and not an active war zone.

She is very ride or die, the minute she feels like she’s found her forever home in the taskforce she is down to fuck shit up for any member of her team, zero hesitation.

Her love language is definitely giving gifts lol as soon as she feels like she’s been accepted into the taskforce she’s constantly giving people things, nothing crazy. But she’ll start carrying specific bands of cigarettes for the smokers, she’ll grab food from the mess and bring it to people just so they don’t have to walk all the way there. She’ll have Hair ties for the people with longer hair just in case they need it. It’s her version of showing she cares, that she’s thinking of them.

Her grandfather was a bit of a figiter so he taught her how to use scrap and bend metal and make little things to pass the time, eventually she got really good at making origami with really thin sheets of scrap. After a bad mission those will end up in the hands of her team too, tho not as open as the cigarettes. It’s too close to home for her to acknowledge our load but the team knows it’s her.

And now the origins lol

Growing up her dad was a criminal who helped move “product” for whoever had the cash for it and her mom was not in the picture.

So she lived with her grandfather most of the time. He was an old Vietnam veteran pilot (which is where the teeth came from lol) and taught her everything she knows about machines, inside and out. He was all she had most of the time and loved him to pieces. Her sense of humor, her wit, almost everything she was, was based around him. She did everything he did, fixed cars, flew the frankly death trap of a helo that he managed to get a hold of and fix up. Even did a little boonies racing with the boys when she was old enough.

Occasionally her dad would make appearances, a few weeks at a time and before she knew any better he had passed on some of his “magic” as he called it. Slight of hand, how to make something “Disappear”, how to add some special pockets to things. She started carrying her dads brand of cigarettes in her pockets-

(Lucky strikes. He always thought that was funny. “A little extra luck never hurt anybody” he’d say with a grin.)

-Hoping every time she could maybe get him to stick around a little longer if she was useful. When that didn’t work she’d pack around more things. His favorite whisky, gum, you name it. He’d just pat her on the head and keep moving to greener pastures.

It wasn’t until after he got caught up in the scene and was killed that she saw that “magic” for what is was. He was trying to teach her to be just like him, to take up the “family” business. It disgusted her but she realized this skill was all she really had left of her dad and she could never break the habit. Always kept a pack of Luckies on her, just in case.

Just before she graduated high school her grandfather passed away, it was his time but still it was devastating. He was her everything and now she had no one. So in an effort to keep his memory close and find some semblance of community she joined the army.

She kinda floated for a while, making some friends here and there but not really finding the family she craved. For the most part she kept her skills to her self. The driving and her “magic”. Didn’t want to stand out, to make herself different from the people she’d gotten used to. Sometime in the middle of all that her squad mates noticed her penchant for making things disappear and reappear. It was almost muscle memory for her at that point, she didn’t even realize she was doing it.

One night, they were out on patrol when one of her squad was mentioning wanting a drink and out of nowhere Vice produced a little shooter. Everyone was flabbergasted, eventually someone made a joke about what else she had and suddenly a pack of cigarettes, a can of chew, and two more shooters appeared. After that they’d just ask her what’s on the menu when they wanted something.

Thus Vice was born.

(that’s kinda all I’ve come up with lol I’m not sure how she joins the taskforce so I’ll have to think on that but here’s a deep dive on my girl)

[starlightshore]

Haven't talked about Angel's Lullaby development in a while. I had to stop production once work got overwhelming for the holidays, thus having to delay the game's December release. I hadn't expected to land a job nor that it'd be THAT much different from when I worked in a small town. It whipped me tf out rippp

But yeah I had trouble getting back into it, after delaying I lost the "time limit" pressure and honestly, lost a lot of motivation and heart over my own personal disappointment 😞

But! I'm back into full development and am managing work and my personal time better. I actually work on a handful of fan projects, tho they're all in varying amounts of done and a good amount aren't even public yet.

So for Angel's specially:

- I've recoded a good chunk of the game. A combo of: switching state machine systems, collison/movement code and lastly just me improving my coding abilities. Settings menu, overworld menu and obvs the player object. Completely overhauled.

I'm doing some exciting things like using surfaces, masking, and soon I'll be using shaders for things. I keep needing to pinch myself that I'm capable of these things now!

Anyway, I should have the game's systems all fixed up soon. I've also been remaking the tileset and room layouts. So I'm hoping to have a fully playable demo in a couple weeks.

There's still a lot to do- I've gotta remake some character's sprites, redo/finish portraits, add a couple "scenes" into the script. And the battle system? ...actually almost done, but I work on that with one my my coder team members and we've been on break. Probably 2-5 voice call sessions to finish. O_O (something unexpected always pops up that ends up taking time to implement.)

Just decided I need to redo my text system 🙈 that coder I mentioned plans on making a text system himself, but I need a basic one to deal with for now. I've made these before but I've never really been happy with how they turn out

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Most-Listened of January 2024

[last month]

Yeah, winter officially hit this month. Half of December was too Finals to be winter, and the other half was me reflecting on the year in music (so lots of 2023's most hard-hitting songs, which weren't exactly cozy winter music!). But in January, the snowy-gray-won't-leave-the-house mood actually hit--and I think it shows in this list (prepare yourself for LOTS of gloomy folk)! There were so many exciting releases this month, though, even though I couldn't muster up all that much energy about them--I'm really excited to see how the Sleater-Kinney, G-IDLE & Andrea Santiago albums will age!

1 . Boy's a liar Pt.2 -- PinkPantheress, Ice Spice

Yeah I sooooo get it now!! Like I don't fully get the lyrics, but it's so charming that I don't care! It's peak girl-next-door sweetness :)

2. BDH - Acústica Versión -- Bely Basarte

The first time I heard this, I wrote down: "Now THIS is how you do layered harmonies, cowards." I stand by my assessment—this is proof that acoustic tracks aren't boring, at least not when you give them a soundscape as beautiful as this one!

3. Tanta adrenalina -- Bely Basarte

This reminds me of the summer I was obsessed with Chung Ha's "California Dream"—even in January, I need some light, fluffy house in my life! (And yes, you can see that my Bely Basarte phase has kept going strong from last month!!)

4. Big Black Car -- Gregory Alan Isakov

I am a sad boy <3 (HOPE WAS A LETTER I NEVER COULD SEND !!!!)

5. Lost On You -- LP

I've been watching Loudermilk this month, and when I heard this song in the end credits of an episode, I instantly went to find it online. It's so wonderfully desolate, especially with those vocals... and the soft jingling of the guitar... *happy arm wave*

6. Southern Star -- Gregory Alan Isakov

Can’t stop singing this one—the melody is pure magic!

7. When the Party's Over -- Faux Paz

I like the original version better, but I'll never get tired of Faux Paz, either!

8. Ungrateful -- Megan Thee Stallion, Key Glock

Saw @shyreol post about this, and I'm so glad I decided to check it out (thank you for sharing)!! I'm absolutely obsessed with the hook—instant comfort song!

9. The Healing Game -- Van Morrison

Loudermilk part 2. This one hasn't even been played in the show yet, as far as I know, it just gets quoted by one of the characters—and deservingly, because these lyrics hit HARD. (And now I can cross 'liking a new Van Morrison song' off my music bucket list for the year—thanks, Loudermilk!)

10. Lalalala -- Stray Kids

This one has lost most of its appeal after a few weeks of listening, but it was very good noise to keep me sensory-happy during some rough weeks (and that ‘lalalalala’ hook is still great)! We'll see how it ages, I guess!

11. The Fall -- Gregory Alan Isakov

Speaking of Stray Kids, Isakov's lower register in this song is GLORIOUS.

12. Soldier, Poet, King -- The Oh Hellos

Believe it or not, I hadn’t heard of this one before December! It’s so good tho :)

13. What's Love -- Empress Of, MUNA

This sounds like the best parts of nighttime—it’s a little more muted than most synthpop these days, but it manages to stand out with just how ethereal it is! The production really just gets more beautiful with every listen—okay, maybe I just have a thing for vocoders…

14. La isla de Lesbos -- Javiera Mena

I don't really remember listening to this one in the past month? But I'm not mad about it being here—it's a classic in my book, because I can never say no to sparkly house music!

15. Smiley -- Yena, Bibi

An instant shot of energy, every time!! So glad I finally added Yena to my stan list, her music soooo deserves it!

Five-Star Songs This Month:

Ungrateful -- Megan Thee Stallion, Key Glock

Hell -- Sleater-Kinney (i mentioned how excited i was about this album right?? i love the texture of this song i love how it go grrrrr i love the line “hell is just a place that / we can’t seem to live without” !! i have a very good feeling about this one helping me get through the year SCREEEEEE)

BDH - Acústica Versión — Bely Basarte

Certainty -- Big Thief (this is what love is to me btw like i realized this month that i don’t think any other song has captured it better so here we are) (YOU LAY BESIDE ME / SLEEPING ON A PLANE / IN THE FUUUUUTUREEEEEEEE)

Was I Just Another One -- Gregory Alan Isakov (i listened to this allll the time in 2020, but i ended up developing a new appreciation for its atmosphere this month like good god i’m in awe GLOOMY FOLK GLOOMY FOLK IT IS A WASTELAND IT IS IMMACULATE EEEEEE !!)