#i honestly dont give a fuck about him either

[urperfectcinnamonroll07]

Valentines

requested?: no pairing(s): Simon 'Ghost' Riley x afab!reader genre: fluff, smut warning(s): unprotected sex (not promoting this, wrap it please), soft sex, reader being a hopeless romantic, ghost not knowing what to do whatsoever on valentines, kinda oc reader (only for favourite animal, if you dont like it you can change it), oral (f recieving), face sitting, cowgirl, multiple orgasms, not proofread (and is so fucking rushed, im sorry) summary: 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘯𝘰 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘰𝘯 𝘷𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘤𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦... word count: 1.9k a/n: happy valentines everyone! spending it alone yet again, but its okay because we have a whole ass ghost fic with soft sex and valentines. hope everyone has a lovely day wherever you are, even the single people and the people with partners (i am not the latter). i also promise that i am almost done the alex volkov and happy go lucky reader fic, so it should be out over the weekend, i js wanted to give you a valentines special as i did last year (my first ever fic i think), either way, it is almost done! remember to eat and drink something, love yas, mwah! (honestly, i apologise in advance because this was so rushed so ya'll could have a valentines special out on valentines, so i am so sorry ya'll if this is shit) -Cilla

simon never got the point of valentines. it was just people in love celebrating their love and showing it through overly expensive flowers and chocolate, what was the point when people showed they loved each other every day? maybe it was the way he was brought up, or maybe it was the fact he had just never found the right person to celebrate with, or maybe he wasn’t built that way.

well, that’s what he thought, until you. you made your way into his life, all flowery and bubbly, but most of all, ever-loving. you loved almost everything. animals, nature, sweet treats. but most importantly, you loved him.

honestly, you hadn’t been together for long. you had started dating a few days after valentines the year before when johnny had managed to get him a blind date with someone who he thought simon would like. your date was a few months before valentines, but you didn’t decide you had liked each other until a few days after valentines.

simon didn’t not like you, he just thought you were too good for him and a girl like you should date someone who wasn’t like him, someone who hadn’t seen the harsh terrors of the world and someone who wouldn’t wake up from night terrors almost every night. but you didn’t care about all that and fought for him, going on date after date until the two of you eventually became romantic partners.

so, you had both never celebrated valentines together and simon honestly didn’t know what you wanted. he knew your favourite animal was an otter, so he got you an otter teddy to add to your collection, but other than that, he didn’t know. you had insisted you didn’t want anything or much, but he wanted to spoil you the way you deserved.

he had been on deployment for a few months prior to valentines, and he was coming back the day before. that was how he had managed to get you a teddy. he was sure you would love it. as soon as he got home, he hid it somewhere he knew you wouldn’t find it (up a height). and spent the day with you (and inside of you), catching up with what he missed while he was gone.

you both went to bed together later that night after watching a sappy romance movie which simon had complained the whole time (you were sure he truly loved it) before you went off to bed and he was inside of you once again. once you had fallen asleep that night, he had managed to book you both a table at your favourite restaurant before letting you curl against him and went to sleep as well.

he woke up first the following morning, immediately untangling himself from you to go and retrieve the things he had gotten you. it wasn’t much, but it was quite expensive, which he knew you would yell at him for, but he didn’t care. he wanted to spoil his girl.

“happy valentines, lovie” he smiled when you woke up. you sat up immediately, wiping the sleep from your eyes and smiling. he hugged you as you hugged him back.

when you both pulled away, he pulled the otter teddy from behind his back, your eyes went wide and your face broke out into an even wider smile.

“oh my god, si, thank you so much, i love him!” you took him from him softly and held him up to your chest which was still bare from the night before. “i think i’m gonna name him olly”

simon smiled at you. it was something he had always admired about you, how you always managed to stay positive even when the world had turned to shit. simon was stiff as you hugged him again. you could tell it was somewhat awkward for him as he had never celebrated valentines before, so he didn’t really know what to do.

he also pulled out a small ring, and you got him a new watch as well as a chain with the both of your initials on.

you were both in bed afterwards, sharing soft yet very intimate kisses. his hands were all over you while yours were resting on his shoulders.

they were soft and small until the kisses started to get more deep and passionate. you shifted so you were straddling his thighs. you were both still naked from the previous night, so you didn’t have to do much. you whimpered softly into his mouth as you grinded down on him.

you could feel him beginning to harden beneath you as you continued to grind down on him, your slick beginning to coat his thighs. he pushes you away.

“I want you to sit on my face” he says bluntly, his eyes lidded and full of lust. you bite your lip softly.

you were insecure enough to not want to crush him, but then again you had also done it before, so you knew it wouldn’t be that bad. you moved up the bed until you were straddling his face.

he grabbed your thighs and pulled you all the way down. his mouth latched to your clit, sucking and licking as he licked a stripe up your folds, shoving his tongue inside of your hole. you moaned and whimpered softly as he did so, gripping onto his hair as he did so.

he licked and slurped you for all you’re worth, making you moan and whimper. you ground down against his face, wanting as much friction as he could give you. you threw your head back as he did so. simon held your thighs down against his face so you wouldn’t move away, sensing you were getting close.

“oh god, si- m’ gonna come” you moan out, continuing to grind against his face as he kept slurping your cunt up as though it was his last meal, eventually adding a couple fingers and curling them inside of you, making you moan harder and louder. yeah, you were definitely going to come now.

“mhm” he grunts against your pussy, sending vibrations that made you jolt. “come for me then” he mumbles against your cunt, the vibrations were making you go absolutely feral, making you feel more sensitive by the second.

it only took a few more sucks and curls inside of you before your juices were splattered all over his face, simon wasn’t complaining as he just slurped everything up as though his life depended on it. he continued to ride you out what felt like your longest-lasting orgasm ever.

he moved you down his body so you were back sitting on his lap, he wiped your juices from his chin, a shit-eating grin on his face as he did so. you watched too intently as he did so. you clenched around nothing, your ovaries feeling like they were about to explode with how horny you felt at that moment in time.

he smirks and props himself up on his elbows.

“gonna need you to ride me now, lovie” he says, it sounded condescending, and from your previous position over his face, your thighs wouldn’t last long before they gave out. he must be a mind reader at this point, because he then added “oh don’t worry, lovie, i’ll help you”

it was almost subconscious in the way his hands moved to your hips to lift you onto his hardened cock. the tip was red and already leaking pre-cum. he was always massive, no matter how many times the two of you had sex, you would always need a few seconds to adjust to his size. as he slowly lowered you onto him, you had to bite your tongue to stop you making a guttural sound.

it took you a few seconds to adjust to his size, bearing in mind you had last had sex less than 24 hours ago, and began moving your hips slightly. it started off with just rolling your hips on hip, rolling them in soft circles to get yourself going at first, but then you began to bounce softly.

simon’s hands stayed on your hips the whole time, helping you bounce on his cock. simon was never usually a vocal person in bed, but he always loved when you rode him with him helping you, so that’s the only point in which he would become vocal. he was letting out the occasional grunt and groan as he bounced you.

it was beginning to be him doing all the work, you doing nothing and letting him lift and slam your hips back down on hip. his pelvis was getting soaked with your juices as your cunt squelched with his large cock. it was full trying to accommodate his full length.

you were beginning to get tired and simon knew this as you were putting less and less effort into bouncing on his cock. he began to start moving his hips upwards to meet yours when they were going down, making him hit a whole new place inside of you, making you yelp at first.

you then started to moan louder as his length was hitting that sweet spot inside of you over and over, making your cunt squelch louder as well as your moans that reciprocated the volume of your pussy.

he had a smirk on his face the entire time, but his smirk got wider when he decided to reach a hand down to play with your puffy and overstimulated clit, making you jolt and whimper. you were getting closer and closer with each passing moment and you knew at some point you were going to come, you could feel it and simon could feel his orgasm coming on.

he continued to meet your downward thrusts with his upwards ones, making you make sounds you didn’t know you could ever make.

the rubbing on your clit and simon’s cock repeatedly hitting that oh-so sweet spot inside of you was too much. the knot was forming in your stomach and it was tightening fast.

“it’s okay lovie, let go, come for me” simon says, it sounds strained and you could tell he was close too by the way he looked down at where the two of you met then threw his head back. “fuck, you’re so gorgeous” he says with his head back before looking at you with his hooded eyes.

that was all it took for you to come completely undone for him. letting your hips come down one more time before throwing your head back and clamping so hard down on him that he could have sworn you resembled a vice, but he didn’t mind because that was what made him come too, spilling his white-hot cum all over your velvety walls.

you came down from your highs not long later, panting and reaching for each other’s embrace.

simon picked you up with him still inside of you and only pulled out when you reached the bathroom. he sat you down on the toilet, leaving for you to for you to do your business then helping you wash your hands before running a bath for the both of you.

“i got us a table at that place you like” he says softly as he helps you get into the bath first before climbing in behind you. you smiled and thanked him, saying he was perfect. you leaned your head back against him, on his chest.

maybe simon didn’t mind the overly expensive flowers and chocolate if it meant he got to see the love of his life happy.

[disgracefulthings]

The reward for most disrespected MXTX character goes to OG Shang Qinghua, who gets replaced with Airplane in nearly every fanfic I've read, even if the story takes place in PIDW

And if he does show up, he's usually dead

[nintendont2502]

sigh. it's thinking about child abuser/evil fuck off puppet hours I guess

[gluustix]

its been like 3 million years since ive posted art 2 a tumblr acc and i dont think ive ever done it via mobile so excuse my probably awful formatting but everyoen look at my favourite guy right now. ive been weird about him for like 4 straight years as a result of his complete and utter silliness but i got like REALLY insane about him a while back n now hes an important facet of my partner and i's rlly fucking weird and convoluted bfdi/ii lore au that would make zero sense to anyone but us two so ive only gotten weirder.

[floralovebot]

ANYWAY in my perfect world, garth doesn't pass on the aqualad name to jackson because 1. aqualad isn't a symbol stop making them batfam dc are you listening to me dc do you he- and 2. while garth is fond of the name, he also thinks it's embarrassing because of his trauma SO instead jackson should be the one to Ask for the name.

jackson, who looks up to arthur and garth, and really, really doesn't want to be associated with black manta, makes the decision to ask for the name aqualad, because to him it's a symbol of Good. garth, who hates when people look down on him because of his past as aqualad, should be like "are you fucking serious right now". and while i still think jackson should have a Different hero name, if they're really stuck on aqualad, then garth can agree. this helps jackson feel like he truly belongs, that they trust him, that he's not like his father, etc. and it helps affirm to garth that his existence as aqualad actually meant something and he wasn't just aquaman's lame sidekick.

after that obviously garth should become a mentor figure to jackson. Not a second dad or even an older brother figure, though i am slightly more agreeable to the latter, but a mentor who helps him and is There for him. even if garth didn't care about jackson in the slightest, you can't convince me that he would just ignore this kid.

[widevibratobitch]

actually im kinda happy with it lol probably because ive given up quite some time ago but yknow. its not that serious.

[jackass-jones]

Btw I’ve started playing the funny stars and time game. The the one about the loopty loop and the white diamond ass shit

[hiveswap]

Being an older sister in a dysfunctional family living separately from the parent who is raising the kid is like actually being subjected to all circles of hell whenever you think about family too hard

[bisexualnamjoonie]

oh wow they. really did tae dirty didn't they. like. doing another seven listening party in the middle of his promotional time? that's just. well that's just really fucked up holy shit

[anotheruntitledsong]

i did like the hidden palace but (SPOILER if anyone hasn't read it?) i'm genuinely so annoyed at how Arbeely is handled like... I wish i could be sad but i'm just fucking irritated. I was overly invested in him and that's def why but i just feel like they did him dirty

[solcarow]

.

[theriverdalereviewer]

just remembered how in the sixth grade there was a fucking riot in the cafeteria that ended in the entire grade getting silent lunch for like 3 months

[theprincessandthepie]

im so sad they wrote joanna out of the show. and then they never let laurel have any friends of her own again T_T

[noroi-amaraciune]

Maybe I am indeed not mentally sound. MMaybe I am not cash money and secure as I think if the best case scenario in my head is provoking a person that said they want to kill me multiple times. Man, how interesting stress and mental illness can be.

[chaoticace2005]

Rules for the Hazbin Hotel, authored by Vaggie:

1. No drugs.

2. No fights.

3. No pranks.

4. No problematic language.

5. No murder (OR TERRITORIAL GENOCIDE WHAT THE FUCK ANGEL)

6. No smuggling in of drugs. Not by sticking them up your ass. Or by hiding them in a pizza box. Or by slingshotting them to the roof. Or getting someone else to. Not at all.

7. No sexual rendezvous with outsiders in the hotel. No SHOWING sexual rendezvous with strangers to people of the hotel either.

8. Make sure the pig/future pets stay in the patron’s room. (This includes eggs!!)

9. No singing Limit singing to once twice per day

10. Stop flirting with the bartender Angel

11. Don’t call Husk “Husker” unless he allows it.

12. No harassing the staff at all. This includes asking who tops.

13. Don’t suggest anything sexual/romantic to Alastor unless you want your head cut off.

14. NO CUTTING OFF PEOPLE’S HEADS

15. NO EATING PEOPLE

16. NO MAKING CHARLIE CRY.

17. Don’t ask me to put my spear “inside you” Angel, what the fuck?

18. Don’t turn the interior of the hotel into a swamp?! Keep it contained in your room if you must!

19. No stabbing staff or residents. No matter how much they look like bugs! (OR IF THEYRE NAME IS ANGEL)

20. Don’t try and stab bugs if they’re within 10 feet of another demon.

21. Don’t call anyone a “bitch” OR TALK ABOUT HOW MY NAME SOUNDS LIKE “VAGINA”

22. Limit Niffty’s access to sharp objects.

23. NO DEALS ALASTOR

24. No drinking. Limit drinking at bar.

25. No mentioning the Stock Market Crash of 1929. For everyone’s benefit.

26. Don’t blow a hole in the wall.

27. Try to keep roast battles OUTSIDE the hotel. (Or stop picking fights?? Please Alastor I swear to God…)

28. No spying on the hotel for outside sources or putting technology that can be used against us.

29. No evil laughing in the middle of the night, what the fuck Alastor?

30. No building weapons/war machines.

31. No eggs! (Fine the eggs can stay.)

32. Someone please keep an eye on Niffty. (And the eggs.)

33. Stop touching people ANGEL.

34. Don’t make other people storm off HUSK.

35. Respect boundaries.

36a. If Angel looks like he’s about to pass out/cry don’t comment. Let him do his thing.

36b. Don’t try to talk to Angel if he’s on the phone with Valentino. Honestly don’t even mention his phone calls with Valentino.

37. Please don’t call Lucifer “Daddy”

38. Don’t turn into a 20 foot tall demon-eating creature unless absolutely necessary.

39. Don’t cause angry loan sharks to show up at the front door.

40. NO EXPLOSIONS!

41. Rule #2, “No fights” can be broken if the person you’re fighting is Valentino. Or Adam.

42. Don’t lie to your girlfriend or hide the fact you were secretly an angel.

43. DONT TALK ABOUT PEOPLE’S TITS (or lack of)

44. KNOCK BEFORE ENTERING A BEDROOM ESPECIALLY IF SOMEONE’S HAVING MAKEUP SEX

45. Don’t give people makeovers while they’re sleeping, ANGEL!

46. Don’t pretend to eat someone’s pet, ALASTOR

47. Don’t die.

48. I never want to hear the words “cum-plete” again.

49. STOP HAVING FIGHTS ACROSS THE BUILDING LUCIFER AND ALASTOR!!

50. If Charlie is passed out on the couch LET HER SLEEP

51. No making bombs in the hotel Cherri!

52. Stop breaking rules and then saying it’s “FOR SIR PENTIOUS!”

53. Angel don’t try to shoot someone if they break spaghetti.

54. Don’t break spaghetti. Or “ruin” Italian food. Whatever the fuck that means. This apparently includes pineapple on pizza.

55. Don’t mention Valentino unless Angel brings him up first.

56. Don’t comment on Angel and Husk’s flirting.

57. Only call Angel “Anthony” if things are serious (or if you’re Husk)

58. Don’t use any of the nicknames Husk and Angel use for each other. This includes but is not limited to: “Whiskers”, “Legs”, “Kitty”, “Webs”, “Tony”, “Love”, and “Baby.”

59. It’s better not to question whatever facts Husk gives about his past.

60. Family dinners at 6 pm unless you can’t make it due to prior obligation. Game nights after on Sundays.

61. No hunting people for sport and NO KNIFE MONOPOLY.

62. Don’t attach knives to a roomba so you can have a “boyfriend” Niffty.

63. Keep Niffty away from Roombas.

64. Alastor, treat people with decency. Really, it’s not that hard.

65. No making giant ducks that breathe fire to chase people around the hotel just because they call you short.

66. Therapy. Everyone.

67. DONT HAVE SEX ON THE BAR WHAT THE FUCK GUYS?!

68. If Valentino enters the property you have permission to stab him.

69. “Hell is forever” is bullshit. You guys aren’t. You can do this.

[whokilledsamara]

I love your Homicipher hc, they are so good! Would you be willing to do some N/ SFW for Mr. Chopped too? Like you did for some of the others? I understand if you don't want to or if it makes you uncomfortable, thank you anyway!

MR. CHOPPED N/SFW HCS

a hc list of Mr. Chopped x reader {an: SORRY GUYS IM POSTING MAINLY HCS RN,,, fics for me take a lot longer than usual so im just posting hcs to atleast get some reach.}

warnings! : smut, cunnilingus/blowjob, idk,,, cuckhold

{an: freaky shit,,,, like hes just a head so its kinda hard to fuck. did give him a section for IF he had a body.. MAINLY HIM GIVING HEAD,, i didnt rly know how to write this im sorry!! def will write more tho,,, im into him ngl}

SFW

what it would be like to be in a relationship with Mr. Chopped.

it would be relatively hard to be in a relationship with him for obvious reasons, though not impossible!

the thought of you makes him happy, and especially when you hold him.

he would have Mr. Silvair help most of the time. usually for the romantic aspects of things though.

while Mr. Silvair doesnt quite understand the relationship, he is glad to help.

being a talking head will obviously raise a few insecurities, so just reassure him that you indeed do love him! he gets his feelings hurt easily.

he absolutely loves when you play with his hair. if you put bows in it or decorate it, that will make it all the more special for him.

the first time he bit you when he was sleeping, had him crying for hours. he felt so bad that he harmed you in any way, and it took a while for him to "recover"

he loves kisses! he always shouts things like "Up, Up" or "Desire, Carry!" just so he can kiss you.

if you manage to get a hold of make up or something, he would absolutely love for you to do his makeup. {he likes to feel pretty}

he is a very sensitive boy, also a crybaby. how cuuuttteee...

if Mr. Silvair gives him a body, {ignore that one ending... we dont talk about it} then he wpuld be even more excited to see you.

the moment he gets a body would mean so many hugs and affection as a thank you for saving him.

he gets picked on a lot by the others so he usually tries his best to come to you.

NSFW

sex...?

sex is definitely a hard concept with him.

while yes, it is possible, just not in the way intended.

you could see him more as a pure object for your pleasure honestly, and he wants that.

whether you are amab or afab, he is perfect for the situation.

ive seen this referenced by another writer, but he would be like a "rose toy" or a "fleshlight" as people call it.

its a secret pleasure to watch you go at it with someone else. {ex: Mr. Silvair or someone.}

if he is gifted a body though, he definitely will pay you back for saving him in the first place.

personally he would be a soft and sensual lover with his new body, rarely going rough unless specifically asked to.

he is more of a giving top. definitely not dominant but is a top. he cares more about your pleasure than his. though, he does get all giddy when you wish to go down on his or something.

he is open to literally anything you want, he would have very few limitations on what he would do, but everything is open for discussion.

again, definitely either wants to watch you have sex with someone else, OR wants someone else to watch you and him go at it. {he would prefer Silvair.}

he definitely likes when you pull his hair or use him. will be submissive sometimes.

he is the type to cry during sex...

omfmg i love him sm

{ made by @whokilledsamara }