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galene-gothic · 2 months ago

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𝖸𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗂𝖽𝖾𝖺𝗅 𝗍𝗒𝗉𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝖽𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗇𝖾𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝖾𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝗈𝗋𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝗈 𝖺𝗍𝗍𝗋𝖺𝖼𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗆 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗅𝗂𝖿𝖾?

୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🐇 ꒱

ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗ PAID SERVICES TIP JAR

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 1 ꒱

꒰ What are you looking for within a partner outside of worldly distractions, personal insecurities and limiting beliefs? ꒱

Your ideal type is someone who thinks that life is tasteless without you. You want them to have undergone the lowest of lows in life because you think that they’ll be able to connect with you well if that’s the case. You’re someone who wants to be pursued and you want them to be sort of self conscious when it comes to you because they care about what you think of them. You want them to value long term connections and to have a pure mind i.e. be someone who doesn’t lead anyone on and only does long term connections. You honestly want them to share such a connection only with you. You want them to be someone who’s first kiss, first time, everything was delayed until they met you and they got to experience it all with you. You want them to not have connections progressed enough for any sort of seriousness. You also want them to be focused on their career and save certain things for their forever person, and open their heart to you and only you. You want them to be very generous when it comes to you. You want them to want to give you things, you want them to want you bad enough to pursue you, to earn your approval and to win your trust, and love, even if they’re risking wasting their time. You want them to be someone who doesn’t give their heart away to others, is focused on their career and puts themself first but is generous with you, has time for you and becomes open, and vulnerable with you. You don’t want them to be holding onto any memory with any one of the past and to cherish you, and only you. The concept of a ‘first love that they can’t forget’ and ‘the one that got away’ makes you sick to the stomach, and makes you want to throw up. You want them to be slightly possessive of you and codependent on you honestly. You want them to be someone who doesn’t mind being blunt, sarcastic and rude with others if the need is there. You want them to be charming but in a way where it’s sort of a miscommunication and they never intended for things to be taken a certain way. You want them to know how to get what they want from the world simply because they’re too charismatic with their words. You want them to be extremely aware of what’s going on around them, possibly to the point of hyper vigilance but to still act distant and flighty to others. You want them to question their belief systems, values, actions and way of life, and to be someone who is able to deal with major upheavals without much of a reaction to them. You want them to be independent and difficult to fool. Someone virtuous who doesn’t need the approval of others. Also, someone principled and intelligent according to others as well. You want them to be respected by others. Emotionally, you want someone who is highly dependent on you and is afraid of losing you.

You want them to be slightly possessive and also needy. You want them to be almost smothering with you but also very vulnerable, like even if they were to try to suppress their emotions, they wouldn’t be able to when it comes to you. You also desire for them to have a secret perverse and dirty side. The side that just wants to take you at any moment. You want them to express this dirty side to you and only you, the idea of having someone be this vulnerable, intimate and dirty with you and only you is very sexy to you. I’m not sure if you realise it but you seem to enjoy slight quarrels and fights within a romantic partnership. You also enjoy adult jokes and communication through the eyes with your romantic partner. You desire a partner whose loyalty for you is very obvious and manifested strongly beneath the surface without you having to tell them anything about loyalty and devotion at all. I’m not sure what the reason is but you have a desire for a partner who doesn’t quite fit in, someone who might have had some issues with their parents? It’s not something you consciously seek but you desire for someone who you can soothe and become the most important person to, even if they don’t have any issues within their family. You likely desire someone with more conservative views or culture when it comes to romance. You desire utmost submission and devotion from a person who’s very strong within themself, and to the outside world. You want someone who wouldn’t be able to leave you no matter what. You want to be the dream person to your romantic partner, you want them to idealise you and daydream about you. You also want them to plan a future with you and be determined to be with you. You want someone who has many options but will choose you to build a life with. You want your romantic partner to choose you and not have any regrets about doing so. You want to be treated well, almost like royalty and be offered a variety of qualities and options by them. “Tell me what you want and I’ll be that for you.” Is what you want your romantic partner to be like. You want them to look reserved and determined. This is weird but you don’t want them to share eye contact with many people but when they do, it’s very intense? You want them to have a direct gaze that is intense and observant at other times. You want someone with well defined facial structure, nose and overall appearance. You want them to look ethical, intimidating, intense, calculating, respectable, high status, powerful and someone who either doesn’t smile much or even their smile looks powerful. You have a thing for a strong jaw that causes the lower face to look naturally chiseled but not a full on square jaw. Like, when someone’s jaw is so strong, their chin area looks sexy and well defined.

You also like when someone with this facial structure smiles because their chin and structure looks more pronounced plus their face just folds in certain ways. I’m not sure if I’m able to explain it but my lover - Jake of Enhypen would be a perfect example for this kind of facial structure. You want them to be known to be a hard worker who’s hard to get. You want them to be able to keep up the image of being fine and doing well in front of others. Also, someone who is very fair and has a sense of inner contentment. You want someone who’s known to continue working hard and go for another goal when they’re done accomplishing one. You want someone with a mindset “one life, I’ll do and get it all” kind of mindset. When it comes to their morals, you want them to be someone who befriends the weird person and talks to the new employee, etc. You want them to have a genuine desire to include others. You also want them to be someone who understands what is valuable and is forgiving towards self, and others. You want someone who has a conscience and feels guilty when they do certain things, and grows through it. You desire someone who is emotionally mature emotionally to work on themself and heal instead of blaming everything onto circumstances. You want to be with someone who is able to let go of the past completely without any regrets or memories. You also want them to be someone who doesn’t mind apologising if they’re wrong. Someone who’s very strong minded and willed, and possesses the strength to cut through any challenge. Also, someone whose strong love and morality always surpasses their strong hurts, regrets, resentments and hate. You want someone who actively chooses to be a good person. In their core, you want them to be someone who is warm, loving and generous. Also, someone very genuine and passionate. You want them to possess an incomprehensible depth and honestly, be a kid at heart. You want them to admire you and be attached to you by the hip. You want them to be heavily emotionally attached and involved with you. You want them to be strongly connected to their inner child and feel safe enough to let it out in front of you. You want them to have a crush on you and be in love with you decades into the relationship, and also in a very innocent fashion. You want them to have a sense of purity and innocence naturally. You want them to be sensitive and to understand your emotions, and needs without having to say much. You want to be able to laugh around, cry and just have an innocently deep connection with someone who’s ethical and serious, and self sufficient on the surface but vulnerable, loving and childlike with you. You also have a strong desire to be their first and last love, and have them be your first and last love.

꒰ Who do you need to become in order to attract them? ꒱

Right away, if you believe in manifesting, you need to just simply step into your manifestor state by not doubting things but instead just setting the intention and having faith. With them, you need to be someone who is fairly possessive but also gives others the space the breathe. You need to become slightly argumentative with them so that the arguments end in bed in order to restore stability. Well anyway enough about them, you need to develop more stability in your own life first. You need to put a laser focus on your own goals and success for now because trust me, right now, even if your ideal type existed, they’d not date you. You need to let go of any and all issues completely, once and for all, prioritising building a new life and mindset for yourself. There is someone or something that is not serving you good that you are still holding onto. It might have long passed you by but the effects of it have lingered because you were led to feel really trapped, helpless, hopeless and victimised. You’re being told that the first step to your ideal person is to let go of these deep seated fears and trauma, and never consider settling. Embrace life wholeheartedly and with passion. You need to become someone who has goals in your mind that actually light you up on the inside, goals that you are truly passionate about and you need to be fierce in your execution of them, not letting temporary circumstances steer you away from it or break your flow. Ofcourse, life happens so you might have to take a day or two off sometimes, like you might have to attend a funeral or a family member of yours might get sick, don’t let such days ruin your flow, always get back to it as soon as you can. Learn how to maintain a strong sense of self worth and always see the wins in the losses because the more you explore of any interest, the more you’ll realise that you are not doing certain things right, the more aware you’ll be of your past mistakes but that just means that you’re winning. Look at life as “oh this time my business failed, that means I’ll be able to avoid making the same mistakes the next time” instead of “oh my god, my business failed, now I have nothing to live for.” Look at life as once you’ve climbed a mountain and are able to look down, you’ll notice where you went wrong and where you could have moved differently. The main way to build stability is consistency with self control. Also, allowing yourself to grow in every aspect is going to be crucial too. You need to learn how to do things even if you don’t feel like it, how to maintain a routine even if you don’t feel like it. You’re being told to be a workaholic if the need be there but there’s a lot of emphasis being put onto work-life balance, you need to be careful about not burning yourself out while hustling. Never give up and never change your path as long as you’re aware that you want it. Like, some people have always desired to become performers, others have always desired to write, others develop a desire to become a fashion designer along the way, etc. Fashion designer - Coco Chanel didn’t go to fashion school in order to become a great fashion designer. Don’t let your emotional abundance and fulfilment depend on anyone or anything else. You’re being told to build an emergency fund right away and if you have one, grow it a bit. Learn how to not burn out so that you can always come back on track.

You’re being told not to change your mind in a fickle manner. Like, if you were thinking about saving money but you had to spend money on some food or other expenses, don’t start taking that as a “just this once, I’ll spend some money” and start buying more things, going out more often, etc. Spend money on whatever expenses may arise but stay firm on saving money. You need to become someone who believes in the mutuality, fairness and equality of any relationship, be it professional or personal. However, your kind and giving nature is going to be something that attracts not only them but also other loving experiences and people towards you. So, you’re being told to grow into someone who is publicly very kind but in terms of personal relationship very picky. You need to become like a phoenix, someone who grows more powerful and beautiful after having completely burned down. You are bound to deal with unfair circumstances and connections in this lifetime. You’re going to have to learn how to reclaim your power, no matter how many times you may have to do it. Until eventually, you’re so in control of yourself and have learned how to deal with the lack of reciprocity that you do not even lose your power anymore. You need to stop having guilt and regrets of any sort but be fairly self critical as in, you always keep yourself in check. I just heard “never let anyone wrong you” including false accusations or treating you poorly like you deserve it. In terms of the way you put yourself out in the world, become someone who’s willing to learn and be humble. When I tell you that you need to grow into this person in order to attract your ideal type, I mean to show you who you’re meant to be as well, don’t do anything solely to attract romance, it’s going to lead to you not being able to enjoy your life as it is. Please understand that the lack of romantic love doesn’t make your current life any less beautiful than when you might have a romantic partner. I’m not sure what it is but you’re going to have to motivate others and teach them to go through life and emotional pain in some way. It could be by sharing how you got over certain situations and manoeuvred through life. At your core, you have to be someone who is very controlled, loving, compassionate and strong. You’re going to be strong but in a very feminine manner. I’m picking up on shame and heartbreak over who you naturally are because you’re someone who is compassionate yet strong, wild yet refined, wholehearted yet aware of others’ boundaries, virtuous yet have your own vices, however you’ve had your softer qualities been taken advantage of and your stronger qualities villainised so well, no matter what part of yourself you embody, there’s no winning. However, trust me all you need to be is yourself. You don’t have to try to embody more of anything but if you want to, you can definitely do so. You’re very pure of heart and don’t have to change that about yourself. If you’ve had to deal with a lot of fear and confusion but have been finding clarity, you’re already at least quarter to half way there. You’re going to have to be someone who’s very subconsciously aware of who you are, even your deepest and dirtiest parts. Also, someone who is very powerful, influential, warm, shines brightly and is the creator of their own life. Thank you for reading. Much love and take care.

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 2 ꒱

꒰ What are you looking for within a partner outside of worldly distractions, personal insecurities and limiting beliefs? ꒱

Your ideal type is someone who is unique in the way they think and open minded. You think that certain beliefs that you have and the way you are is slightly different from what others can usually accept or even understand so you want them to understand and accept you completely. You also want them to have a strong conscience and sense of what’s right, and wrong. You want them to be private but still very honest, someone who’s willing to correct their wrongs and work on their negative traits. Someone who’s self aware enough to see, understand, accept and work through certain actions that may not be the most ethical. You want someone who’s fair and has a strong knowledge about the rights that they may not directly benefit from. Many of you here are feminists or/and child activists, you may not go out there and fight but you have a strong knowledge of the rights that these two groups of people should receive and have a desire to stand up against any injustice that you see these people may be facing so you want a partner who pushes you towards it and would understand why you feel so strongly about certain topics. You want them to be an individual who doesn’t just blindly follow what they’ve been raised with. You don’t want them to hold onto outdated beliefs that separate people from one another, such as different religions, different castes if you’re hindu, etc. You want them to be someone with a strong sex appeal but not that social. You want them to be social as in be able to have fun and interact with others but also not be available just anywhere and everywhere. You want them to be a busy person with individual projects and just high maintenance, you want others to envy them due to their personality, character, image and success. You want them to not want to or even be able to stay away from you. You want them to feel homesick without you and come back to you as soon as possible after travels or even cancel travelling to be with you. You want them to have eyes and heart only for you, and only give you time and affection. You’re not overbearing because you do understand that they have a life and you’ll let them have it but in terms of emotions and certain aspects of them, you want to be the only one to receive it. You want them to prioritise your connection above all, most definitely. You want them to be fiercely loyal to you and for you to share a connection so deep that they feel comfortable enough to talk to you about their failures, disappointments and hurts. You want a very intimate connection with a natural understanding and acceptance of one another. You mostly desire someone who is untouchable and comfortable with being alone. Your biggest fear is ending up with an experienced hoe who can’t be alone for shit. That’s not even my usual vocabulary, that was the spirit I swear 😭. You want someone who looks independent and as though they don’t need anyone but in a more closed off manner.

You want someone who looks like they work really hard and have no problems in life. I’m getting that you like someone who probably looks like they work out too. Definitely someone fairly glamorous and gorgeous who stands out though. Honestly, you desire someone who no one has had or known properly. You want them to be known by how hard they work and how busy they are. Also, someone who doesn’t mind being seen as ‘boring’ just because they are responsible and old school. You want them to be pretty unhinged in certain ways, someone who pursues their dreams and goals abashedly. Also, someone who is known for being dominant and well respected. You want someone who people can’t even figure out or put into words. Like, the type who will just take your breath away because of how unconventional yet true they are to themself. Also, someone who has build a lot of money by themself due to how hardworking they are. You want them to value depth and intimacy, and take connections seriously. You want them to be someone who values personal achievements that they may not gain recognition for just as much as external achievements. You want them to be intentional about life and know what they want, and go after it. You want them to be someone who has a lot of faith in themself and desires to improve their skills. You want them to value passion and communication, and be very smooth with their words. Someone who lowkey has a god complex, as in they know that they’re one with the universe and powerful enough to get what they want. You want them to be someone who thinks that whatever ideas they have, they can bring them to life. You want them to have a strong willpower and consciousness about how the universe operates even if they may not exactly use words like ‘god’, ‘universe’ or ‘manifestation’. You want someone who values being influential and succeeds in doing so. Someone who is capable of learning from everyone and everything. Someone who is just a true man (if you’re interested in men). You want them to have a willpower that can’t be crushed no matter what, someone who will always push forward. Emotionally, you want them to hold a silent power. Someone who naturally expects and demands respect from others. Also someone who is quick to cut people out and off. You want them to be someone who grows from every situation and is grateful for what they do have. Someone who’s present and grounded within reality, and doesn’t think about the past. You want their emotional focus to be on self and reality. You want them to be selfless with those who need it but still very focused on their own life path. You want them to have a zest for life and be ambitious. You want them to have a certain pride within themself. You have a desire for someone who either comes from humble beginnings or if not (because everyone loves generational wealth), maintains humility despite being successful and rich. Whether you may expect it or not, you want them to have never been in love with or given anything to anyone else, you want them to have you as their first and last love forever, and always.

꒰ Who do you need to become in order to attract them? ꒱

You will not attract them unless you’ve worked through heartbreaks, hurt and trauma of your own. When I say ‘worked through’, I mean moved on completely to the point that you think it’s too irrelevant and boring to even think about. You should learn how to balance things and a proper schedule even if unavoidable circumstances may come up. Like, supposing you received news that a close relative passed away and you have no choice but to go to help with their funeral, go do so but don’t forget your routine in the process. Even if you’re unable to check everything off, check a few things off. Like, even if you’re unable to workout and study, if you had an essay to write, make sure to do so or if you wake up late because you went to sleep late, make sure to get up and follow your routine as far as you can. If you have to skip the workout part for that day it’s okay but make sure not to skip it the next. Try to be consistent and don’t let your inability to do one task stop you from doing the rest of them. You need to mature a lot more in order to attract this person that you desire into your life. Yes, if you manage to have an overnight shift into this identity, you will attract them eventually but most people do not change overnight because human change is more of a process so I’d suggest that you start working towards becoming this person right away. You need to be a hard-worker and have self improvement, and life improvement as your top priority. You need to be so busy and so grounded within yourself that you don’t even have time to think about the past unnecessarily. You need to forgive your past and move past it. You need to become aware enough to not engage in conflict, arguments or making any choice driven by anger. Learn from your mistakes instead of ruminating over how you were done wrong. Regrets won’t do anything, move on without them. You are going to have people who are competitive with you and envious of you. You need to become confusing by seemingly appearing like you lack assertiveness but winning every competitive battle in one way or another. Emotionally, you need to get rid of being too emotional. You need to have a strong desire and will to succeed and grow. Also, to follow the light towards the end of the tunnel. You’re being told that the sooner you get rid of heavy hearted energies, the sooner you’ll get better. Morally you need to be very quick and firm, like no one should be able to sway you away from your morals even if they were the sweetest speaker and most persuasive person ever.

Your desire for fairness and reasoning needs to outride your emotions for anyone in any situation. You also need to maintain your fiery and passionate nature. I recommend that you look out for children and try to take care of them, I’m not sure why either but it just came through. You need to become fearless and never lose your zest for life, if you already have, you need to get it back. You need to prioritise enjoying the essence of life, never lose perspective of the beauty of it. You’re being told that you need to live. You need to go out and experience life instead of being in your head. Physical appearance and image wise, you need to be a bit more closed off and secretive. You need to create a sense of mystery around yourself by keeping to yourself but when you speak, you should say something wise or teach people how to do something, etc. Be humble in your approach. Also, never approach people first and avoid being too available early on as well. You should not pretend to be something you’re not so all you need to do is build enough of a life for yourself to be busy enough to not be available just anyone and everyone. You need to be a stable person who values close and stable connections on a core level, and build a level of detachment so that you’re apathetic to things and people not being the right ones for you. You need to learn how to enjoy working so that you have enough of a life for yourself and should give yourself away in social service of some sort, that’s where you’ll find true contentment. You’re going to have to develop a lot of inner and outer power in order to attract and get with your ideal type. You need to become protective of yourself and keep parts of yourself only to yourself. You need to start self worshiping to a certain extent. You need to understand the divinity that humans are, having been made by the most divine itself (god, universe, whatever you may want to cut it). Don’t forget your divinity and sacredness. Be a sharp thinker who takes no bullshit. Don’t be afraid of hurting other people’s feelings in this process of life because being real, everyone hurts someone or the other, with decent people, it’s not even intentional. You need to be able to see things as they are, even if it’s painful. Also, you need to live in the present moment completely. You need to have an active lifestyle instead of being by yourself, in your head all the time. Extend your love to yourself and to those in need but don’t hand it out for free in interpersonal relationships. Teach others and learn from them. Be humble but don’t let your guard down. Have sacred time when you do nothing but bask in yourself, when you do nothing but appreciate yourself, when you do nothing but think thoughts that help you connect to yourself better. Thank you for reading. Much love and take care.

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 3 ꒱

꒰ What are you looking for within a partner outside of worldly distractions, personal insecurities and limiting beliefs? ꒱

“Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick with you forever. Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick with you.” You probably dislike those who indulge in any sort of intoxication. You are into someone who is a bit bossy and controlling but deeply passionate, and fiercely loyal. Also, someone who would get jealous. You want to see them all riled up over you. You want them to desire power, wealth, status, etc. and be very fierce in approach to it but also not let these desires have a hold on them. You want them to have an empowered mindset and just truly be free. You want them to be someone who faces their fears and gains power out of it, instead of acting out in fearful and anxious ways. Like, for example, this person does not trust themself enough when it comes to singing in front of everyone, they choose to face that fear and lack of trust head on, and practice really hard, the first step being that they don’t sing well enough to be confident in their singing, they consciously decide and work hard in order to get better at that skill. That’s the kind of person you want to be with, someone who can turn fears into power. Also, someone who thinks or at least knows that everything is a learnable skill. You don’t want them to be someone who makes excuses about not doing or being certain things. You want them to be a winner in front of others. You want others to see them as hardworking, driven and successful. You also want them to possess a duality. You want them to be a kind and hardworking person who is well respected, and liked but also sorta underestimated and disrespected but the underestimation comes from fear or jealousy. You want them to be so powerful that their power is sort of hidden. I’m not sure how to explain it. You want them to be more powerful than people can fathom. I’m trying my best to put it into words but I’m unable to do so. Maybe you want someone who’s very difficult to describe, explain or understand? You want them to have a hypnotic effect on people that sort of breaks when they interact with them because they seem easy going to and easy to take for granted but then they still have power, and to be much more hardworking, firm and almost stoic than how they look. You want them to include you everyday. You desire to feel seen by them and feel special. You want someone who’s liked by other people to only like you and for those other people to witness it. You want their affection for you to be visible to everyone and for you to receive envy as well. You want them to take your breath away with their genuineness and how they’re loved, and looked up to by everyone. You want them to be emotionally intelligent and to genuinely care about your emotions.

I wonder if you have some unresolved emotional pain because you want them to have undergone enough to understand you and your pain. You want them to love themself a lot but be willing to martyr themself just a little bit for you. You don’t want to settle for someone who stops talking to other women, thirsting over celebrities, watching porn, etc. just because they’re dating you, you want them to normally be this way whether they’re dating anyone or not. You want them to be the kind to patiently work and wait for their fruits to show instead of talking to every woman, chasing them, clubbing every weekend, etc. You want them to look ethereal yet dangerous in some way. Possibly a taller, stronger or/and bigger physique. You want them to be known for being hardworking but not open enough. Someone who’s hard to get close to, someone who doesn’t let others into their life that easily. You want them to be someone who doesn’t let just anyone get to know them on a deep level. You want them to be a parent-like naturally. Someone who treats everyone well and with good intentions. You especially want this energy stronger with you, you want them to take care of you and do things for you just because they want to, just because they adore you. It’s very obvious that you want them to be nurturing and beautiful inside out. For you, outside beauty by itself won’t do much. When it comes to you, physical beauty is a lot about the image they have. Like, the way they carry themself, the aura they have, the reputation they have and the way other people view them. You’re attracted to those who make you feel better about yourself and rise you further in life. You want them to be a bit alone at their core and be fine with it. You want their main moral to be love, you want them to be someone who doesn’t separate from the essence of love no matter how successful they may get or the opposite end, how much life may betray them, how much they have have to hurt. You want them to be able to lead with love and be biased in their treatment of you. You want them to treat you differently from the rest of the people around you. Also, you want them to have a lot of willpower and power over their emotions. Also, someone who has the ability to get what they want in life no matter what. You want to be shown off to everyone and loved publicly because well, it’s sweet plus flattering. You love attention and affection, and want someone who’s not scared of loving you and choosing only you. Unfortunately, there’s a deep rejection wound that you seem to possess, it may not have been that you received a direct rejection but you felt like people were embarrassed of you and thought you weren’t good enough for them. This wound runs very deep and while it’s okay for you to desire to be loved publicly, you need to work on healing this wound.

꒰ Who do you need to become in order to attract them? ꒱

Firstly, you need to prioritise your personal healing. I just heard that there’s no one coming to save you. You need to understand that no matter what you go through, the healing is going to be personal to you and only you, no one else will be able to experience what you experienced and hence, help you heal. One thing that I won’t lie about is the one sidedness that you seem to have faced in life so far. You need to accept the one sidedness that you have experienced, even if it hurts and is not easy to accept, and move forward with it. “I’ve been big and small, and big and small, and big and small again but still nobody wants me, still nobody wants me, and I know no one will save me, I’m just asking for a kiss, give me one good honest kiss and I’ll be alright.” You’re desperately affection starved but focusing on how you’ve been starved of it won’t do any good. You need to learn how to nurture your soul affectionately outside of external validation and affection. One way to know that you’re on your way is if you are dealing with internal and external aggression or have already done so. You’re someone who wishes for your interactions with others to go smoothly but sometimes that’s just not how it goes, they may be rude, belittle you or just make a demeaning joke, and when you were younger, you’d likely have laughed it off and moved on but now you feel really really angry on the inside. There are times when you externally blow up on people as well. You are someone who is very extreme, there are or were times when you were incredibly submissive and nothing people said got to you to the point of ticking you off, and now, you desire for interactions to go smoothly so when that’s not the case, and when you feel disrespected, you blow up or at least feel really aggressive internally. You need to move past this thought process that your past trauma from one sidedness and other people’s thoughtless actions have given you. You didn’t mind it at that time but now that you look back, you feel really wronged and disrespected, and due to how you don’t want the history to repeat again, you’ve started putting people in their place even if it’s a bit extreme at times. I’m not sure but some of you here, probably many of you seem to be a real life version of Pearl. There’s a chance that you wanted to become an actress or actor, or still secretly dream of doing so, some of you may even be trying to pursue it. This seems to be a path that your heart never leaves. However, right now, you’re the “I’m not staying on this farm. Nothing’s gonna keep me here” or/and “why are you leaving me if I didn’t do anything wrong, I don’t understand, I thought you liked me” kind of Pearl. You need to find a way to be externally passionate such as finding new goals or hobbies. There’s just this zest for life that you need to develop. You need to have fun with whatever you’re doing, that’s for sure. Also, you don’t have to be a hundred percent honest and transparent with anyone, especially not with someone you don’t know well yet. Act strategically and don’t trust anyone. Trusting someone should come to you only after years of knowing that deeply. You’re being told to not be naive enough to forget the dark nature and psyche that human beings possess.

I just heard that not everyone is going to have your best interest at heart. Be secretive and never share your plans with anyone or even tell them what you’re doing to the full extent. “Even the people closest to you can use your strengths and weaknesses against you if the need be there. Your past is proof of it.” You’re also being told not to act out of anger or blow up on people. There was once a point when you could not say anything mean to people even if they were doing so to you because you are supposed to have and maintain a natural grace. Keep in mind that when you grab a burning coal and throw it at someone, you may or may not hurt them but you’re definitely hurting yourself. You doubt yourself for no reason and easily feel guilty because for you, judging (misjudging) yourself comes easier than to even just see or at least understand the wrongdoings of others. Which is why you’ve often taken unfair blame. You’re very critical of yourself which is good because you’re aware of your own wrongdoings but you need to stop being so hard on yourself especially knowing that others have done worse and don’t hold even half the remorse you do. Just use your self criticality to refine yourself further. Due to all the one sidedness that you’ve experienced, you wonder if you’re putting yourself out there in a manner which makes it hard for others to truly understand you but what you’re failing to realise is that you can’t make them understand you when they are committed to misunderstanding you. Partially, this self doubt is present because you feel like you’re a pretty good person at heart and even through actions, for the most part despite the mistakes that you may have made here and there. So when others do not see your worth or value, or even seem to understand you. It genuinely confuses you. You often overestimate other people, especially if there are personal feelings or desires involved, you need to understand and accept that who you’ve lost wasn’t even that great to begin with, what you’ve lost wasn’t even that great to begin with. Actually no, it was great but do you know why? Because of you and your efforts. Fight back for yourself when others misunderstand you but don’t try to fight back verbally because language will most definitely be mistranslated. Fight back through silence, fight back by removing yourself, fight back by getting better for yourself and surrounding yourself with better people. You need to put the past behind completely and not even think about it anymore. You need to move on without any regrets and mental or emotional attachment. “And now the chapter is closed and done, and now it’s goodbye, it’s goodbye for us.” This makes me so emotional. I’m not sure which cancer (or cancer placements) here dealt with a pisces or aquarius (or someone with those placements) but damn, the heartbreak seems to have been real. If not these placements, some of you could have similar placements like this. For example, aries with sagittarius/scorpio placements, taurus with capricorn/sagittarius placements, gemini with aquarius/capricorn placements, so on and so forth. I’m getting that majority of you probably dealt with pisces or aquarius placements or with neptune squares/pluto aspects in the astrological synastry or composite chart with someone though.

Sometimes, there’s just this thought in your mind that maybe your intense love nature and your willingness to ride or die is causing you to suffer. You’re someone who’s very responsible. Even if you don’t have the means to, you try to help others especially those you love. ‘Unconditionally’ by Katy Perry is coming through. You have the ability to stick with people through thick and thin, and you genuinely have the desire to do so, and receive the same from someone else as well but you’re going to face disappointments in your lifetime in regards to that. I’m not getting you simply just being slightly hurt by like a situationship, relationship or anything. I’m getting your soul merging with someone’s and having to have your heart and soul deal with the pain of separation with your beloved. You’re going to have to learn how to forgive and accept the situation as it was i.e. if they were capable of loving you the way you wanted and needed them to, if they were even just as half as loyal to you, if they genuinely wanted to be present, you’d be together. I’m literally crying at this point, this is very emotional. You’re supposed to learn how to find solace and stability within yourself without any external love or validation. Your romantic, intense and ride or die nature is an innate part of you, don’t remove it. Learn how to create a persona and character with this deeply integrated within yourself but have this acceptance that you should not have to settle for less. Develop the mindset of “I’d rather not be with anyone until I reach my death bed than settle.” You’re also being told to use your love to become a universal mother, to tend to others who need your love. You’re being told that your life will have to revolve around social service and mothering of some kind in order to attract your ideal type. The easiest way to do this is to deal with underprivileged children and just spread kindness to children in general. Always come out of any isolations (because you’re going to go through phases of it) with more love and service to give, and offer. When I’m telling you to be all of these things, I’m not asking you to change yourself, I’m only telling you to be who you are authentically and who you’re supposed to be, not just for them but also for yourself. So please take my words very seriously, it’s not just to attract someone outside of you but also to help you become happier and lead a better life. You need to continue valuing passion, having it as one of your main values and learn how to not go deep with just anyone and everyone because not everyone is deserving of the ride or die, intensely loving nature that you’re inevitably going to extend to them at some point. Appearance wise, you need to have a power due to how easy to underestimate you look but are actually not. Like, supposing you wear skirts and a lot of light colours (you don’t have to, it’s just an example), and have a baby face, others may assume that you haven’t achieved anything, and are reliant on your parents when in reality, you have a business that you’ll never give them enough details on. You also need to have an image of being someone busy who doesn’t give your attention to everybody who asks for it. “Act like you don’t need anyone’s attention, approval and validation.” Thank you for reading. Much love and take care.

#pick a card #pac #pac reading #intuitive readings #tarot pac #pick a card reading #tarot pick a card #pick a photo

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psychedelic-ink · 1 year ago

Text

𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐘 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

genre: explicit smut, minors dni, childhood bestfriends to lovers, tlou'verse, jackson era, mild hurt/comfort

word count: 4.9k

summary: When your boyfriend is desperate to win back what he lost, he bets on you this time without your knowledge. And everyone knows you don't go back on your word when it comes to Joel Miller.

warnings: okay so technically not cheating because your boyfriend literally gambled you buuut if that's not your thing I totally get it, piv, dirty talk, choking, spitting, size kink, soft!joel & feral!joel, he likes hearing how big he is, affectionate whore calling™, a hint of analplay, oral (receiving and giving)

a/n: another joel fic inspired by p.orn, we love to see it

a special thank you to @nothoughtsjustmeds for the beta! 💕

Joel was never that into gambling.

Back before everything had gone to shit, that had always been more Tommy’s forte than his own. Joel doesn’t remember the amount of times he’d had to bail his brother out, either by protecting him while putting himself in the middle or by giving him loans he’d never ever see again. Joel hadn’t minded. Tommy was his baby brother after all. As long as he was safe Joel was happy—annoyed, for sure, but happy.

He was surprised when he learned that Jackson had a pretty heavy gambling scene and that Tommy wasn’t a part of it. He didn’t know why that was, because even on the nights where he had to go bail him out and bring him home all bloodied and bruised, Tommy just made the same mistakes. Not even Sarah’s worried expression, while she peered from between the wooden stair railing, deterred him from it.

Guess it was different when your own kid was on the way.

However, despite his lack of interest in gambling, he found himself betting away what little he had for someone else—someone he thought he would never see again. But honestly, he wasn’t half bad at it so he didn’t mind it that much. His only complaint was when he had to get messy hunting down those who didn’t pay up.

One by one the men around the table folded, only leaving Joel and Liam. A huge stack of weaponry lies in the middle of the table, Liam’s eyes constantly flit between the stack and Joel. They stare at each other long and hard. Joel knows that he’s going to win. He usually did with these face-offs.

Liam folds.

A small smile tugs at the corner of Joel’s lips. There’s nothing better than to take what someone he absolutely detests wants.

“Let’s go again,” Liam grunts, his forehead shining with sweat.

Joel raises an eyebrow, “You don’t have anythin’ else to bet on.”

“Come on now, Miller,” Liam leans back into his chair. “There must be something that you want.”

Joel’s eyes bore into his long enough for the man to grow uncomfortable and nervous. Only then did he speak.

“You still have that pretty girlfriend?”

Someone Joel didn’t bother learning the name of pipes up from his right, “I thought we were only betting huntin’ supplies this time.”

“Come on, let the man try to win his rifle back.” Joel grins.

“Fuck you, Miller.”

“Careful now,” he slowly places his elbows on the old table, his weight on it enough to let out a threatening creak. He cocks his head to the side, his smile small but still there. “My kindness wears thin.”

Liam’s an addict. And of course, he says yes.

“You fucking gambled me away?!” your voice is shaking, body trembling all over as you pace back and forth in front of the couch Liam was nestled on top of. At least he has the decency to look guilty. “What the fuck is wrong with you, Liam? I’m your girlfriend, not some kind of deer hide you can put on the table.”

“Look I said I was sorry alright?” He stands up fast enough to make you flinch. He holds you by the shoulders, thumbs moving in a soothing manner. “Won’t happen again, I promise.”

You scoff, “We both know that’s a lie.” You lift your chin up in defiance. “I won’t do it. I have free will. You can’t make me.”

That makes Liam sweat. You can’t blame him, you’ve heard of Joel’s. . . outbursts. But honestly, that’s the least of your worries. You’re mostly confused as to why Joel asked for you specifically. You’re positive that he’d been avoiding you ever since he came into Jackson, only talking to you a handful of times. Why now? And why like this?

“Baby,” Liam whines, snapping you away from your thoughts. “You have to. He’s crazy, he’ll kill me.”

“You should’ve thought of that before.”

“Please. All you’d have to do is entertain him for the night, make him happy.”

“So to be his plaything? Is that what you want?”

“Maybe he’ll ask you to cook him dinner, hell if I know.”

“Sure,” you roll your eyes. “I’m sure he’ll just want something to eat.”

You give him one more look before slipping away from his gentle hold. Your heartbeat is slow, hours spreading across every beat, making your chest feel heavy and lightheaded.

“Fine,” you cave, wrapping yourself with your shaking arms. “But after this, I’m done, Liam. I’m so tired of bailing you out.”

“You can’t leave, where would you go?”

The soft tone he used while begging you to spread your legs for Joel quickly turns into a tone with sharp, dagger-like edges. You don’t say anything. Don’t answer him or agree with him. You’re lost in a broken world.

And now, amongst all the things you’ve been through, you have to see the pity in your childhood best friend’s eyes.

You don’t want to be here. You don’t. It’s embarrassing.

Your boyfriend is in the other room, brooding on his couch, examining his life choices. You’re not doing any better. Your robe loose over your shoulders, the chill of the bedroom settling over your skin. It’s especially embarrassing because it’s Joel for crying out loud. You’ve known each other since you were kids causing mischief all around the neighborhood. You still remember the time you fell and scraped your knee, how he kissed it better and placed a pink bandaid over it because it was your favorite color.

Why the hell had he asked for you? To humiliate you? Well, he definitely succeeded.

The door opens and you jolt. His presence is large in the room, making you shudder despite yourself. Your pulse quickens. You shouldn’t be afraid of him yet here you are, trembling like a newborn doe. He closes the door with a gentle click, the wood creaking and solidifying your fate.

You haven’t known him for years. Even before the outbreak had torn the world apart. You had moved away two years prior and after everything went down you never expected to see him again. When he showed up in Jackson you barely recognized him. He looked rugged, more salt than pepper in his beard, his eyes drained of life. He had scars that ran deep and he had found a kid along the way. You were surprised but relieved to see he still had a big heart.

You were ashamed the first time you two sat down after years. Everyone knew of Liam’s gambling problem, he couldn’t help it, and you knew that Joel knew. You hated the idea of him pitying you, of him seeing the world weighing down on you. You’ve heard from around that Joel also started to place bets. Nothing too big though, unlike your boyfriend who would bet on almost anything in the house. You knew those bets could turn out violent and people feared Joel. Even in a safe utopia like Jackson, the kind of man he’d become traveled from ear to ear, striking fear. And when someone that owed him money ended up with a bloody nose and broken jaw. . . no one dared to deny him of anything.

And it seemed like you were no exception.

Joel stands in front of you, his sleeves pulled up to his elbows, exposing sinewy muscle. He stands close. Close enough that you feel his breath on your lips. Your eyelids flutter before you avert them, tears stinging the corners.

You drop the robe, the old fabric pooling at your ankles. You’re left in a decent enough-looking bra and somewhat matching underwear.

“Not interested,” Your entire body goes taut, eyes wide. You hear the blood rush in your ears. Joel moves past you and takes a seat on the bed, crossing his arms over the expanse of his broad chest. You stare at him and a thick knot forms in your throat. He gives you a brief look before explaining. “I only wanted to teach your boyfriend a lesson. He’s reckless. One of these days he’s gonna be in real debt to me and, darlin’, I don’t want you gettin’ caught in the middle.”

Your heart drops. You don’t know what you’ve been expecting but it certainly isn’t this. Tears blurring your vision, you quickly bend over and scoop up your robe, throwing it over your shoulders. Somewhere along memory lane, you forgot to remind yourself that Joel was your first; first crush, first love, first kiss, first time. But it just hadn’t worked out. You had stayed close friends until you moved away, he had Sarah, you had a promising career. You were planning on getting back to him. It just never came to be. Liam didn’t know you knew Joel, only Tommy knew about the connection you two had, mainly because he was there.

And now you had Liam—Boyfriend who calls you names because he hates everything, Liam. Shitty boyfriend, Liam. Boyfriend who put you up as a prize, Liam.

It’s just too much. All of it. Your heart can’t handle how unfair it all is. The pity Joel shows you, the way Liam treats you. He loves you, you know that much, but he just doesn’t care enough to treat you right or tend to you when he’s so broken himself. He doesn’t understand that you would take care of him just as much.

And now you’re just a shell. A shell of your former self.

The first salty tear slips from your lashes, it’s followed by another and then another.

You manage to reach the end of the bed on shaky legs, collapsing, you cover your face, heaving silently into your palms. You don’t want Liam to hear you cry, deep down you want him to think Joel is fucking you this very instant. You want him to feel guilt, or at least a sliver of the way you feel.

There’s a gentle hand on your shoulder. Your brain doesn’t even register that Joel is pulling you into his chest, wrapping solid arms around your shaking frame. He holds the back of your neck, squeezing tenderly just like he did when your mom yelled at you and he wanted to calm you down.

“Why are you cryin’?” he mumbles. “I told you I’m not gonna do anythin’ to you. Or to him. I just wanted him to think before he put you in any danger. What if it wasn’t me there? Not everyone is as they seem in this town.”

After all this time Joel Miller is still looking out for you.

“It’s not that,” you answer, between sniffled and muffled hiccups. “I’m embarrassed and so fucking tired. I don’t want you thinking I’m some damsel in distress, even though me crying isn’t really helping,” you take a deep breath and peel yourself unwillingly from his chest. “I don’t feel good about myself. I never do with him. I just feel like shit with some more shit thrown over. And well. . . now I know that you don’t want me either. It’s just too much. But I’ll be okay, thank you for looking out after me even though I’m a mess.”

He suddenly grips your chin and pulls you close enough that your noses almost touch, “What the hell makes you think that I don’t want you?”

“You. . .” with a sigh, you look away. “You didn’t want to fuck me.”

“You want me to fuck you, sweetheart?”

Squeezing your chin, he forces your gaze back to him. His lips are parted, pupils wide enough to hide the chocolate brown of his eyes. He seems just as surprised as you feel. Arousal pools between your legs, heat dripping down the curve of your spine. You press your thighs together and swallow.

Joel’s hand moves up to your cheek and cups it gently, thumb toying with the corner of your lip, “I just never thought you’d be interested if I’m bein’ honest. Especially not after. . . everything I’ve done.”

“You’ve done what you’ve had to do to survive,” you kiss the curve of his palm and he shifts, coming even closer. “I always wanted to come back to you, you know? You’re my first love, Joel Miller. Deep down I always wanted you to be the last.”

Joel was never an emotional guy. He always had trouble expressing what he thought and felt, thinking he always had to hide behind large invisible walls. The outbreak had put a magnifying glass over that quality of his. You can only tell that your words affected him by how the crease between his brows softens and his cheeks gain a subtle red hue.

He only grunts as he forcefully brings your hand to his crotch, his cock hard and throbbing under your palm. His lips skim down your neck, kissing where your pulse beats frantically. Joel grinds into your palm, “You still want to fuck with your boyfriend waiting in the living room?”

“God, yes.”

You stand up and he parts his legs for you, allowing you to take your rightful place between them. Looking up, his fingers dance up your shoulders, pushing off the robe so it once again pools at your feet. The fabric of your bra has worn away with time, meaning that your nipples meet no resistance as they stiffen under his gaze. Joel licks his lips and brings both thumbs to the peaks, rubbing them until they’re fully hard.

Then he suddenly shoves you closer to him, your aching nipple met with his wanting mouth. He sucks through the fabric. Saliva darkens the color. He sucks and moans each individual nipple until both are hard like diamonds and only then do you find yourself on the bed, his mouth still on you, starving for more. Your back forms the perfect arch, the sheets feeling like silk against your skin despite them being years old—almost rotten.

He drags his lips down your body, rough facial hair tickling your skin, your hips helplessly stutters into the air. Two large hands pin your hips down. You can’t help the noises that tumble from your lips. For the first time, you’re feeling whole. He lays soft kisses against your inner thighs and finally, he reaches where you want him most.

Joel sucks your clit through the fabric and your body jerks, seeking the heat of his mouth against your bare cunt instead. He smiles, digging his blunt nails into your flesh.

“Patience,” he licks a stripe down your clothed folds. “I want you to be loud, sweetheart. Make noise for me. If you want me to fuck you, that’s my price—your sounds.”

Liam never liked the sounds you made. Unless you were mimicking porn and whispering how close you were, which was a very rare occasion.

Joel slides his hands up to the softness of your stomach, squeezing gently. Like you might fade away at any given second. He kisses the lips of your pussy and his eyes flutter closed.

“Doesn’t it feel good,” he begins, his southern drawl more prominent as his voice grows deeper. “To have that prick in the next room listenin’ to me fuck you, riddled with guilt because he bet on his pretty girlfriend?”

It does feel good. “You think I’m pretty?”

“‘Course I do,” his brows furrow, eyes finding yours. “Prettiest girl I’ve known since the first day my dick got hard.”

The words send a tingle up your spine but Joel doesn’t allow you to linger on them for long. He slides your underwear to the side. The fabric sticky with slick, he immediately presses his lips deep into your cunt, tongue swirling around your entrance and teasing it by pushing in the tip. You cry out and grip his head, your legs pressing against his ears. Your heart hammers within the confinements of your ribcage.

“Gonna ruin you,” he groans, licking himself deeper and rutting the bed. Your eyes roll back, your body melting with every fat stroke of his tongue.

Joel takes you apart slowly. His jaw moves, head lazily going from left to right. You feel so wet, soaked, from both his mouth and your slick. It’s almost like he goes slower the more soaked you are. He draws various shapes around your throbbing clit. You're left withering under him, shaking, begging, and moaning his name loud enough that the entirety of Jackson could probably hear. The wet smack of his mouth is followed by loud slurps and groans, and your stomach coils tight.

After all these years, Joel Miller had certainly learned a few new tricks. He wasn’t that same teenager anymore, though, neither were you. He feels different, yet he also feels the same. Like a familiar wind stroking your skin.

“So damn wet and sweet like honey, fuck.”

He moves away and you nearly cry out of frustration, fingers burrowing into the old sheets. You only move when you hear the deafening sound of a belt buckle coming loose. Joel’s pants drop to his ankles, cock painfully hard and slightly curving to the side. Your mouth waters, “No underwear?”

“Got too lazy to wash’em last Sunday,” he lazily strokes himself. Today is Tuesday. He’s been going commando all this time. More saliva fills your mouth, you don’t know why but the thought excites you and he seems to notice. “You always did get turned on by the weirdest things,” he mutters. “Now get on your knees, sweetheart. Been waitin’ a long time to feel those lips again.”

You pout, “Forearms are sexy, ask anyone.”

Joel sighs and shakes his head, his dark gaze makes you clench around nothing. He ignores your comment entirely. “Don’t make me say it again.”

You sink to your knees immediately after that.

He’s so much thicker than you remember. The bulbous head a beautiful shade of red, shiny beads of precome gathered at the slit. You notice the vein meandering down the underside of his cock and you trace it with the tip of your tongue. The blood pumps harder in response, his length twitches and smears the shiny pearls against your cheek.

You moan as you finally take him between your lips. The corners of your mouth sting from how wide you need to open to accommodate him. You manage to take him half way in, swirling your tongue, you hollow out your cheeks.

“That’s it—That’s it, fuck—suck me harder, sweetheart, please—” his hips rock forward, his cock filling your mouth until the head is hitting the back of your throat. You choke on him and his head falls at the way your throat constricts around the width of him. He then pulls out, prompting you to look up. His hair is a mess, lips swollen and parted. “Use your spit, need you to wet my cock good if you want me to fit darlin’. I ain’t that teenager anymore.”

You kiss the soft crease between his balls, rolling them with your tongue. You’re delighted to witness how he shudders at the soft caress of your lips, “I can see that.”

“Get on with it then.”

Joel sounds almost annoyed—no, not annoyed, but eager, desperate—to have your mouth wrapped around him with Liam in the other room. You don’t want to make him wait so you slowly allow a thin line of saliva to drip from between your lips. His thighs tense when it touches the head of his cock.

“Is his dick as big as mine?” he asks, jaw locked, words bouncing off of clenched teeth.

“No,” you gasp, dragging your lips down the length of him while staring at him through heavy lashes. “No, it’s not as big as yours.”

Suddenly you’re lifted to your feet, your body nothing but a ragdoll as he pushes you to the bed, the old mattress creaking with protest at the added weight.

“Play with that fuckin’ pussy for me, I want to see it.” He wraps a hand around his weeping cock, his strokes hard and calculated. Your breasts tingle as you push a hand between your thighs, he clicks his tongue in disapproval, approaching the end of the bed. “Spread your legs wide, honey.”

As soon as you open your legs and spread your folds for him to see how soaked you are, he’s quick to climb up the bed. Turning you to your side, he gets right behind you. Joel wets his own fingers, sucking on them with a loud groan before replacing yours with his own. He rubs your clit with precise movements, each stroke hitting the mark and making you see bright, dazzling stars. Your body moves on its own. Heat pools between your legs, your hips grinding back to feel the heft of him on your ass.

“Joel, please,” you whimper. “Please, fuck me, please—”

His lips touch your cheek and he breathes heavily, his chest heaving and rattling with every exhale. You feel the head of his cock slowly sinking into you, stretching you wide as his lips decorate your sweaty skin with fleeting kisses.

“You’re takin’ me so fuckin’ well, honey,” your eyes roll back, a mild pain blossoming from where you two connect. He brushes his fingers over your clit, the sharp pleasure shortening your breath. “That’s it. That’s my girl takin’ my big cock so well. So good. So good for me.”

Your jaw drops as you take him inch by inch. He continuously plays with your clit, kissing you and whispering words of praise while his tongue plays with your earlobe. You feel like mush. Like dough that only he can mold. Your lashes grow wet with tears, your heart beating so wild that you swear he can hear it as well. Joel slightly pulls back his hips and pushes back in, your breath catches in your throat, and soon enough he begins fucking you with shallow thrusts.

“Is this what you wanted, huh?” he mutters into your ear. You nod helplessly, your body burning from the inside out. “Tell me, louder, come on,” a smack echoes in the small room, and pain blossoms over your ass cheek. “Come on, louder.”

“Yes!” you cry out. In a weak attempt to meet his thrusts, you roll your hips. “Yes, this is what I wanted. I’ve never stopped thinking about it—never stopped thinking about you.”

“Is this pussy mine?”

“Yes, it’s fucking yours.”

Your voice must’ve come out too much like a whisper because Joel’s pace quickens. He fucks you hard, deep, hammering into you until you’re struggling for air. He wraps thick fingers around your neck, squeezing until there’s pressure building under your eyes, your lungs burning.

He loosens his grip around your throat, “I wanna hear it, come on now, don’t make me beg for it. Tell me, is it mine?”

“Yours! It’s fucking yours!”

Suddenly Joel is underneath you and you’re on top, his hips relentless as he snaps his hips up into you. It feels even better now. The way his cock massages your walls shooting crackles of electricity up your spine. He holds your ass with both hands and spreads you for his liking.

You moan his name and when you look down, seeing him staring at your face, a sudden gush of embarrassment overwhelms you and with a small whimper, you cover his eyes with both your hands. Joel grits his teeth at that. He fucks you harder, the vicious way he presses inside making you gasp and drop your hands so you can brace yourself by flattening your palms over his chest. His eyes flash with anger.

“Why the fuck—” he growls, “would you cover my eyes?”

“I–I got embarrassed—” you squeeze your eyes shut and open them back again. You push down your hips, taking him to the hilt as a form of apology, but he doesn’t seem to accept it and holds you still. Your head falls back with his every thrust.

“If you ever pull that stunt again, I’ll take you over my knee,” he rasps, ignoring the way your pussy clenches at his words.

His finger teases your asshole and beads of sweat gather at your tailbone. Joel’s grin is dangerous, something you’d run away from rather than run towards. But you can’t help it. A wanton moan rattles your throat, your pussy clenching hard around his cock. He presses forward, burying his finger down to the first knuckle. You shudder over and over, your body building tension and releasing it simultaneously.

“You like that, wildflower?” he groans, thrusting his finger in and out while snapping his hips up. “You enjoy it when I play with your tight little asshole?”

“Fuck, fuck—Joel—yes, yes I do.”

His other hand snakes around the back of your neck and yanks you down. His damp lips touch your ear, “Gonna fuck this hole one day, pretty thing. . . gonna fuck it so hard you’re not gonna be able to stand for weeks.”

Before you can catch your breath, you’re being hauled towards the closed door, the emptiness you feel sudden and cold. He pulls your hips up, presses your cheek against the barely standing wood. Your hard nipples graze against the surface, a jolt of pleasure shooting up your spine. Again, Joel thrusts forward, filling you to the brim. The mild pain tingles within your lower abdomen and you melt against him, eyes rolling back as you wiggle your ass for him.

With every rock of his hips, your body hits the door with a thud and you’re sure Liam can hear every forceful fuck, “Tell him how fuckin’ bigger I am than him—I wanna fuckin’ hear, it come on.”

“He’s so much bigger than you!” you groan, bracing your palm against the door. “You hear me, Liam? Never had a bigger cock in my life, I’m soaked.”

Liam’s muffled voice follows through, “Jesus fucking Christ, what the hell is wrong with you? You fucking whore!”

You know it shouldn’t, but his words still jar you.

“I’ll fuckin’ break his hands for that, don’t you worry darlin’,” Joel mutters into your skin, his words marking you as something untouchable. “And I’ll make it fuckin’ hurt.” He then kisses your shoulder and shouts towards the door, slamming especially hard this time so the thud of you hitting the door echoes. “You’re the one who gambled her like some kind of prize you dickhead. Don’t blame her for feelin’ good about it!”

“You could never satisfy me,” you say barely above a whisper, like you’re not entirely sure you’re allowed to feel good about this. About finally having him all to yourself.

“That’s it, tell him,” Joel growls, pushing his cock even deeper. You swear that if you looked down at your stomach, you’d see a bulge, as impossible as that sounds. “Tell him.”

You desperately grab at Joel’s forearms, feeling the sinewy muscle tense. Your slick drips down his length and wets the inside of your thighs. With a loud moan you repeat your words and it feels delightful.

You only smile when you hear the outer door close shut. Liam is gone.

“Yes yes yes,” Joel murmurs into your neck, ramming into you harder. “That’s it, come on my cock, sweetheart, please—I wanna feel it—”

Your breath catches in your throat, body seizing, “B—Bed,” you manage to choke out.

If he pulled out, you’re not aware. His body is a constant presence against your back, lips always latched on to a patch of skin, tasting the salt. Joel lays you down gently and pushes your legs high enough that it grazes your forehead with every desperate snap of his hips.

“Is this what you want?” he groans, the wet noises of him fucking into the tight fist of your cunt bouncing off the walls.

“Yes, Joel— this is what I want.”

“My whore,” he leans over and grinds into you. He slips his tongue into your mouth, sucks on your tongue. The back of your thighs ache with protest but you whimper into the kiss anyway. Breaking the kiss, Joel breathes into you, “My good sweet little whore,” and another kiss.

Your eyes roll back, “So deep,” you groan, breaking the kiss.

“Deeper deeper deeper,” Joel mocks you by mimicking your dazed tone with his drawl. He slowly pushes in, holding himself there, he halts your breath. “How’s that, wildflower? Deep enough for you?”

“Oh god, Joel—” you choke. You fist the sheets, your cunt fluttering and throbbing. He doesn’t move, he flexes his cock and the pressure of that is enough to break you.

Joel wasn’t expecting it, this much your muddled brain is able to realize from the shocked groan he lets out. His lips find purchase on your forehead, kissing and mumbling praise as your entire body clenches and releases, your pussy gushing around him. You feel the trickles of fresh wetness ripping out of you and all you can do is take it when Joel resumes his thrusts, fucking you through your messy orgasm.

Despite your insistent begging of wanting him to come inside, Joel pulls out, coming undone instantly as he does so. He rubs himself over your mound, thick ropes of come spurting across your stomach and even the underside of your right breast. He releases your legs and they fall limply to his sides.

Joel kisses you long and deep, his weight comforting above your trembling body. When he finally pulls away, he lets out a low chuckle and brushes your noses together.

“I think he left, sweetheart.”

“Good,” you mumble and press a quick kiss to his flushed lips. “All I want is you.”

Liam’s not your boyfriend anymore.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x fem!reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfic #tlou fanfic #the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal character fanfiction

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bookshelf-dust · 7 months ago

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promise to take care of my heart

carmy berzatto x fem!reader

gif by @emziess

word count: 1,830

warnings: nothing? a little swearing, but this is pure fluff and that’s all

synopsis: carmy wants to cuddle with you for the first time.

a/n: hi! new character, i know. but i’ve become rather attached to carm in the past few months and i had a cute idea for him and here we are. he’s bringing me so much comfort right now and now i’m gonna share that with you <333

————

“Why don’t you pick out a movie or somethin,’ bub?”

“If I could find your damn remote, Carm, I would.”

He lets out a breath of a laugh, eyes on his hands where they sit deep in the dishwater below. Good luck, he thinks.

You scan the coffee table, the rug below the shabby couch. It’s not like there’s any use checking the tv stand because it’s still a fucking table tray. You know he doesn’t even own the full set of four table trays? He’s just got the one? That knowledge keeps you up at night. Just like how he doesn’t have a ceiling fan pull and has to get tweezers to change the speed.

You find the remote nestled in a stack of freshly organized books. You helped Carmen assemble a very simple bookshelf so that his stash of cookbooks wouldn’t have to live on the floor anymore.

Just getting to help him turn his apartment into something other than a place to sleep brought you a contagious giddiness. Carmen’s chest aches with how much he’s laughed since he met you.

Look at all my muscles, Carm. I’m practically ready for my dick now, don’t you think?

Where’d you even get these? He’d looked down at the little allen wrench in your hand and said I don’t know, they were just here one day.

Now you have a bookshelf, Bear. What a grown up.

Carmen wouldn’t let you help him with the dishes after he cooked you dinner. He’d just kissed your shoulder and said, “Let me take care of it, alright?” with that little raise of his brows and quirk of his lips telling you not to argue because you’d never win.

And when Carmen tells you to let him take care of something, well…you listen.

You haven’t been dating very long, but it’s been enough that you’ve both developed this rhythm, this way of moving around and with each other and you just…work.

He doesn’t understand how you can dial his shyness, his hesitance, so quickly, how you can make him feel like a human again so easily. But you do.

You settle against the back of the couch, flipping through the tv guide (because Carm has never subscribed to any streaming services) until you find something worth listening to. It’s already a few minutes in, but you’ve seen the movie enough times that it doesn’t really matter.

The overhead light in the kitchen switches off and Carmen pads out to the living room, socked feet dragging on the hardwoods. Your biggest pet peeve is people who don’t pick up their feet, but somehow it’s more tolerable when it’s him.

He sits down on the edge of the couch. Just sits. On the edge. That means he wants to say something. You give him the time to psych himself up.

Carmy chews on his thumb nail and rubs his nose before he turns to you, placing his hand on the couch. His blue eyes burn into yours, and the intensity of his gaze, trained on you, makes you feel like the most important person in the world.

“H-hey, um…can we—could we snuggle, maybe?” He flushes at the fact that he just used the world snuggle. Richie would have his ass so quick if he’d heard him say that.

Your grin is brilliant. You’ve never cuddled properly with Carmen before. Maybe a head on a shoulder or a leg tossed across another, but never a real cuddle session. “Fuck yeah, we can, Carm.” You giggle and the sound softens that bubble of fear in his chest.

He bites the inside of his cheek, letting out the barest laugh.

“How did you want t-to lay, Bear?” You blink at him. “Were you just gonna—”

He starts to nod. “I was just gonna lay on your chest, honestly.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, that works.”

“Y-yeah.”

You snort. “Lemme’ stretch out for you and then you can be a teddy bear.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes.” Carmen shakes his head at you. He lets you pull that shit because he likes it. Secretly.

When you have a pillow under your neck and are laid out on your back, Carm slips beside you against the back of the couch and clumsily settles on top of you. He doesn’t want to crush you or anything, so he settles between your legs, only allowing the weight of his torso to envelop you.

One arm wraps around your back, the other cradling your hip, his curls brushing your chin. He turns his head to face the tv and lets out a satisfied sigh.

On instinct your hand threads through his tangled hair, scratching at his scalp gently and sorting through any piece that feels knotted.

“What is this?” Carmy asks, nodding in the direction of the screen.

“The Wedding Planner. It has Jlo and Matthew McConaughey in it.”

“Chick flick?”

You hum in agreeance. “Yeah, but you wouldn’t hate it. Jlo’s character is like you but if the restaurant was a wedding planning business and you were, you know, a chick.”

He laughs lightly against your stomach and you can feel the puff of air over your shirt.

The weight of Carmen’s body on top of yours is easily the most calming feeling you’ve ever experienced. You can’t get enough of him.

“This okay?” you ask, scratching his scalp a little more for emphasis. This is a new way of showing affection. Uncharted territory.

“Hm?” He looks up at you briefly, blue eyes fluttering closed. “Oh yeah, feels nice. I like it.”

You grin and continue to play with his hair. He’s right. It does feel nice. It is.

The next few minutes go by without any conversation, just silence. But it’s so comfortable. Carmen’s tired gaze is on the tv. You can feel him breathing, feel the way he scratches over your back absently. You don’t know if he’s aware he does it, but he nuzzles his nose against the soft of your stomach every now and then like it’s keeping him safe.

“You know I thought about being a wedding planner?”

Carmy pushes up onto his elbows, looking at you with the smallest smirk playing on his lips. “Really?”

You playfully bat at his shoulder and he moves to lay back down, but not before pressing a kiss to your sternum over your shirt. “Mhm. Still think about it sometimes.” You pause, but Carm doesn’t say anything yet because he knows you aren’t finished with that thought.

“I guess I just thought it’d be nice to help put things like that together? The organization would make me feel…complete, I guess. And you know I don’t like to help people in such an extroverted way? I like to be behind the scenes.” You laugh, a little self-deprecatingly. “Does that make sense?”

Carmen squeezes your side. “‘Course it does. And then you could come home and tell me stories about all the family drama you eavesdrop on.”

You giggle, and Carmy loves that he can feel it where he lays on your chest. He can feel your joy, and that’s fucking cool. “That I could.”

He rubs your back in small, gentle circles. “And you know, I happen to have some friends who make pretty good food and would be happy to help if you ever needed.”

“Oh, do you? Well, that’s very helpful, Mr. Berzatto. You’ll have to give me their number.”

Carmy laughs into your chest. A pure, genuine laugh. It’s such a beautiful sound, and you truly think you’d have it tattooed all over your body if that was even remotely possible. His glee makes you laugh, and then you’re both snickering like you’re teenagers doing something that’ll get you in big trouble.

You reach for his hand, the one that’s resting on your hip now, and he lets you lift it towards your face. He bites his cheek, fighting the smile that rises when you press your warm and chapstick covered lips to his knuckles.

“You have such pretty hands, Carmy.”

He pinches your back. “I still don’t get why you’re so fascinated by them.”

“Because they’re pretty. And, look—” You hold yours up to his. “—they’re so much bigger than mine. And I like your tattoos, obviously. I like that I know how talented you are with your hands and how capable. I’m very lucky to hold such capable hands, Bear.”

“Capable, huh?” He gives you a look, one that makes you want to both tackle him and smack him on the arm. Instead you roll your eyes and he raises up to kiss you.

“Capable of being the world’s biggest pain in the ass.”

Carmy laughs. It’s that little chuckle, light and airy and like he can’t believe what he’s hearing but he wants to hear more anyway. He flops back down on your chest, making you let out a rather loud oomph.

You take Carmen’s hand in yours again, rubbing over the dry patches on his knuckles, the scabs on the insides of his fingers, the scar on his palm. His whole life is written in these hands.

You start massaging the pads of his fingers without even thinking about it. No one’s ever been that gentle with him—definitely not with his hands—and a little part of him melts at the feeling.

You kiss the tattoo on the back of his hand and just look at his skin. You’re determined to memorize each line and freckle and fucked up cuticle he’s got.

“At least your nails don’t look like Richie’s, Carm.”

His chest moves with the giggle that travels throughout his body.

“Trust me, they didn’t look like that when he was still with Tiff.”

You grin, your eyes falling back on the television. Maybe Carm would be open to setting it on the bookshelf? That table tray has put in a lot of work. It deserves a break.

Carmen can see why you’re so fond of this movie. It’s one of those that doesn’t require much thought, that has humor and feels more human than most. He knows he shouldn’t think it, but you having said what you said before makes him wonder if you’ll plan your own wedding…with him.

Shut the fuck up, he tells himself. But maybe we’ll get there.

You catch him smiling when they fuck up the statue in the garden and pretend not to notice. You both keep quiet now, but Carm reaches up and puts your hand back on his head.

Your fingers thread through his curls again, scratching at his scalp gently. Your other hand does the same thing to his back. You know it’s going to lull him to sleep.

When you say it, he’s already dozed off. But you are so happy that you get to make him feel safe. That he’s comfortable enough to sleep on you like this. Lucky is an understatement.

“Thank you for letting me in, Bear. I don’t think my life has ever been this beautiful.”

————

please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33

note: none of the gifs or images i use are mine! i get most of my images from pinterest or here, and gifs from about the same. please let me know if i ever don’t credit someone properly!

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deadghosy · 10 months ago

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🫧𓇼𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊˚🎐

JELLYFISH! READER X HAZBIN HOTEL

Prompt: A sea creature wants to bring light in hell. ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🪼⋆｡˚

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚ you died while being an oceanographer. You studied the ocean for its plant and creatures. You drowned specifically while trying to push a jellyfish away from you. And honestly, you went to hell becoming a flowing beautiful jellyfish.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚Charlie welcomed you with opened arms, she liked how beautiful you are. The way you flow in the air, you were eye catching and majestic

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚jellyfish! reader is a Mitski, grimes, and tv girl fan of music. I think it fits their vibe at how peaceful but dangerous they are with their stingers.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚imagine how your human form would look. Jellyfish hair cut with the colors of the blue from your og form with some pink and purple. Or like blue and light blue. You would be an actual main attraction to the hotel.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚you probably did get mistaken to get sent to hell instead of Heaven. You were beautiful like a heaven angel, but you were in the depths of hell. Surprisingly the hotel was a safe haven for you.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚a beautiful creature like you gain the attention of many to the hotel. You could say that you are the main attraction. And Charlie doesn’t use you like that, but she does make you a resident to get into heaven.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚vaggie finds you calming. You have this type of aura around you that just makes people relax. So your hotel room is specially designed to your liking. Which is a dark blue wall with a glowing blue that has ocean waves. It’s basically jellyfish’s en ocean designed. It’s just so magical.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚you love floating around as keekee would follow you around. Then you would have the egg boiz following you plus fat nuggets. You just collected your own little band of little people.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚husk doesn’t know much about you in the hotel other than you are practically the princess/prince of the water in hotel. You make sure the water is okay as it’s your duty.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚you once had made water appear. You had guess you have water power based on you drowning. And using that power, you soaked husk who started to go crazy almost scratch angel dust in irritation.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚Lucifer admires your colorful being. Like he may seem as if he doesn’t care about you. But he sorta does as he secretly makes you a jellyfish toy that lights up in the dark.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚alastor, he might as well try to see what you are. He still senses a human soul in which makes him want to get your soul. A human souls is rare than a disgusting sinner’s soul. But you sting him every time he tries to even get close.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚you once accidentally stung Alastor with your stingers. He oddly didn’t lash out at you, but rather just walked away. He was trying to hold on the stinging pain you gave him.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚sir Pentious found you alluring even. Frank and the rest of the egg boiz agree. Frank once called you mom/dad since you were singing him a lullaby.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚imagine how crazy you can be. Like one day you are the calming person every one loves and knows in the hotel. And next thing people know is that you are stinging people just because they breathed the wrong way around you.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚luckily you are a passive aggressive person sometimes. Or else you would be frying people like bacon. EXTRA CRISY‼️

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊��angel dust dead ass thinks you should have a cute blue ocean crown or necklace. Maybe even a cute blue with purple star car. Bro he’s thinking of so much ways to make you girly pop.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚you could’ve had shocked angels, and I mean literally cause if it was the battle between hell and heaven. You would win lmao. Cause what if you shocked then hoes into an angel kebab

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚headcannon on how your stingers is as powerful like the jellyfishes in SpongeBob. You area full electric chair.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚vox had a whole board about who tf were you. Legit was giving crazy science man vibes cause how tf is a jellyfish in hell?! You don’t even look demon! You dead ass don’t fit the hell palette. As he is making theories, Valentino and Velvette just stare at each other like “wtf is this?”

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚now say you did went to heaven. Everything would probably be different, but you are something no one had seen before. A jelly fish angel? Yeah that seems unique.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚Heaven would admire your original look. Your calming energy makes most of heaven better. Like say for example the angels complement each other with the light of your energy and how your energy flows. You basically have a pheromone, but it’s for positivity to be spread. #bethereasonsomeonesmiles LMAO

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚Adam probably makes fun of how you are such a small sea thing creature. But then he switches up when you turn into your human form and start to sting his ass every time he tries to offend you. Fly like a butterfly, sting like a bee.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚sera would possibly have you as a cherub cause of your small jellyfish form. It only makes sense for you to be one as you are so adorable.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚Emily adores you. She knows you don’t mean any harm towards her with your stingers. She’s the type of person who makes you a flower crown cause she loves it be creative around people she likes. Honestly 10/10 friendship honestly.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚lute probably doesn’t care about you much. Other than your stingers are damn annoying. She just wants to rip them out, but you are is kind and sweet. So you have her vote to stay in heaven with her.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚headcannon on you just humming a soft lullaby as you swim in the air, your blue soft glow in the dark makes anyone go to sleep. The blue is pretty alluring.

A/N: I tried a different writing style with the “bullet points” I hope you guys like this lol and sorry if it seems lazy.✨ inspired by: @selvyyr <3

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fxstpace · 7 days ago

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the budget

summary: mingyu, president of the photography club, and you, leader of the art club, are forced to collaborate when your organisations are granted a shared—and pitifully small—budget for the semester. every meeting turns into a battle: over ideas, over funding, over who cares more about their craft. until you start noticing the way mingyu’s eyes light up when he captures the perfect picture, and his presence in your life leaves you feeling more inspired than irritated.

⇢ pairing: photography student!kim mingyu x art student!fem!reader ⇢ contains: fluff, mild angst, enemies/rivals to lovers au, college au, debatable attempts at comedy, profanity, inaccurate depictions of both art & photography since i am good at neither, raccoons ⇢ word count: 4.8k ⇢ playlist: stardust by zayn; blue by yung kai ⇢ note: for the person who requested this; i hope you enjoy!

There’s a miserable amount of zeroes next to the number printed on the budget distribution sheet that Mingyu hands you. You stare at it, incredulous, then back at him, the paper crumpling slightly under your grip.

“This can’t be right,” you say, voice tight with disbelief and mounting anger. “This is… This is a joke. It has to be.”

Mingyu shifts, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “Yeah, well, it’s not. This is all we’ve got for the semester.”

“You’re saying that like it’s okay!” Your eyes snap up to his face. “Like this is something we can work with.”

“I’m not saying it’s okay! But I don’t see what yelling at me is going to solve.”

You scoff, holding up the paper between you both like it’s the evidence of a crime. “This amount isn’t even enough for one club to function, let alone two. And yet you expect us to split it? How is that fair?”

Mingyu clenches his jaw and crosses his arms. He looks bigger, now—more intimidating, sort of. You cross your arms as well, eyebrows knit into a frown. “It’s not fair,” he says. “None of this is. But unless you’re ready to, I don’t know, rob a bank or something, this is what we’ve got to work with.”

“And what?” you snap. “Your solution is just to divide it down the middle and call it a day? You can’t honestly believe that’s fair. Your expenses aren’t nearly as high as ours—”

“Excuse me?” Mingyu cuts in, his voice rising, sharp enough to make you pause. “Do you even know what we need? Do you have any idea how much equipment costs? Or printing? Or—”

“You don’t have an entire exhibition to put together,” you interrupt, your frustration boiling over. “We’ve got installations, workshops, materials—”

“And you think we’re just screwing around, taking selfies? You think what we’re doing doesn’t matter?”

“That’s not what I’m saying!”

“It sure as Hell sounds like it is,” he bites out, glaring at you.

The hallway is silent except for the sound of your breathing. You’re standing close to him, you realise belatedly—too close. Mingyu’s face is flushed, dark brown eyes locked on yours, and for the first time, you notice just how tired he looks. There are faint shadows beneath his eyes, and the line of his shoulders is stiff with what you suddenly recognise as exhaustion, not just irritation. It’s easy enough to spot these signs because you mirror them, too.

It’s always been like this between the art club and the photography club. The rivalry was created during the clubs’ inception, long before you joined your university. You remember the former head—and your senior—telling you about how the former photography club head charmed Dean Park, the head of the art department, into giving them a higher budget, resulting in the art club being unable to hold their annual art exhibition. The year before that, the art club managed to win him over by listing out all the pros and cons of “art in the cultivation of a cultural mindset in students” using a PowerPoint presentation complete with sparkly animations.

It’s always, always about money.

This semester, however, the budget is infinitely worse—chiefly because you have to share it with the photography club. As the current presidents, you and Mingyu must shoulder the burden together, and that’s a lot easier said than done, really. Maybe it’s because you’ve spent all your college years feuding on opposing sides of the art scene, but you and Kim Mingyu haven’t been able to get along.

The fact that the amount Dean Park allotted for you both is abysmally small doesn’t make this entire situation any easier.

You look away, gaze dropping to the crumpled paper in your hands. “I’m not saying your work doesn’t matter,” you say quietly, the fight dissipating from your tone. “I’m just… This whole thing sucks, okay? I’m frustrated, too.”

Mingyu lets out a slow breath, scratching his cheek tiredly. “Yeah,” he mutters. “I know.”

It catches you off-guard, the way his voice lowers—not softening, exactly, but losing some of its earlier bite. When you glance back at him, his shoulders are still tense, his forehead pinched, though not with resignation. It’s more like simmering irritation, held at bay simply because he can’t get angry in the middle of the administrative building’s hallway.

“Look,” he continues when you don’t say anything, “this is what we’ve got. Yelling at each other about it isn’t going to magically double the budget, no matter how much we want it to.”

“I’m not yelling—I’m trying to get you to see reason. If you’d just acknowledge that the art club actually needs—”

“Maybe if you’d stop acting like your club is the only one that matters—”

You hold up a hand, cutting him off before he can get going again. “We’re going in circles,” you say, sighing. “This isn’t getting us anywhere.”

“Right,” Mingyu mutters, stepping back to lean against the wall. He crosses his arms tightly over his chest again, and for a moment, the two of you stand in tense silence, glaring at each other like it’ll somehow fix the problem.

The corridor feels oppressively small, the fluorescent lights casting shadows over his face. You take a slow breath, trying to tamp down the irritation clawing at your chest and push it down to your stomach instead where you can, at least, work around it. “Fine,” you grit out. “We’ll figure something out, but don’t think for a second that I’m going to let the art club get shortchanged because of your supposed equipment costs.”

Mingyu’s lips twitch into something that’s almost a smile but too bitter to qualify. “Of course. Don’t expect me to give up the gallery showcase just so you can buy more paint.”

You press your lips together and bite back your retort. You’re too tired to keep this up, and it’s clear that he’s just as stubborn as you are.

Instead, you turn on your heel, the budget sheet still clutched tightly in your hand. “Next meeting,” you call over your shoulder, “come with actual numbers. Maybe then we’ll actually get somewhere.”

“Sure,” Mingyu says flatly, though when you glance back, he’s still watching you, expression unreadable.

“Just combine both your events,” Jiyeon—Dean Park’s student representative—says curtly, like she’s trying to wrap up a tedious chore. She taps her manicured nails on the desk impatiently. “That was the reason why we announced the budget earlier this semester compared to last time.”

You blink at her. Combine? As in merge the art club’s carefully curated exhibition with Mingyu’s glossy photography showcase?

“That’s not happening,” you say, sharper than you intended. “These are completely different events. We’d lose the point of both if we mashed them together.”

Mingyu, seated across from you, leans back in his chair, arms crossed. “For once, we agree on something.”

Jiyeon exhales, clearly unimpressed with your united front. “Neither of you have the budget to do these separately. You’re either combining or presenting Dean Park with a shared cancellation notice. Your choice.”

Her words sink into your brain, leaving no room for argument. The table between you and Mingyu feels like a battlefield, and you’re not sure if you want to continue glaring daggers at him or redirect your frustration towards Jiyeon.

“This is ridiculous,” Mingyu says, dragging a hand through his hair. “You can’t just lump two completely different creative visions together. A photography showcase is about cohesion. You don’t just slap a bunch of things together and call it cohesive.”

You bristle. “And what, you think an art exhibition is just some chaotic mess of colour and whimsy? There’s intention behind every piece. We’re not staging this in a dorm hallway; it’s a professional-level gallery. My members have been working on this for months.”

“And so have mine,” he snaps back. “This showcase isn’t just about displaying photos. It’s about showing people what photography is capable of. Combining that with whatever you’re doing? It’s going to dilute both.”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t have spent your entire summer hyping up an event you clearly couldn’t afford,” you say, unable to help yourself.

His eyes narrow. “It’s not like I knew—”

“Enough,” Jiyeon cuts in, her voice slicing clean through your argument. She stands, gathering her papers and closing her laptop briskly. It’s clear she’s done with the conversation. “You two have until next week to draft a combined proposal. If I don’t have something workable on my desk by then, I’ll assume you’re forfeiting your budget entirely. Good luck.”

With that, she walks out, the door shutting behind her with a firm click that echoes in the suddenly quiet room.

“This is such bullshit,” Mingyu mutters after a pause.

You glance at him, agreement on the tip of your tongue, but the irritation on his face sparks something petty in you instead. “You seem confident for someone whose entire event hinges on this bullshit.”

He glares at you and for a moment, you think he’s going to bite back. But he sighs and leans forward, resting his elbows on the table. “Since we’re stuck with this,” he says grudgingly, “we might as well figure something out.”

“You mean like a theme? Something broad enough to tie everything together?”

“Sure,” Mingyu says. “What do you suggest? Rainbows and friendship?”

“Don’t be an asshole,” you snap.

“I’m serious. If you’ve got a brilliant idea, then let’s hear it.”

You take a deep breath, your mind running through various possible ideas. Something broad, something versatile. But every idea either feels too generic, or too forced, and Mingyu’s expectant stare doesn’t help.

“What about… perspectives?” you finally say, hesitant.

He frowns. “Perspectives?”

“Yeah,” you say, gaining a little confidence. “Different ways of seeing the same thing. Photography is about capturing moments from unique angles, and art is about interpreting the world in your own way. It’s broad, but it connects.”

Mingyu leans back in his chair, brows furrowed in thought. He admits, slowly, “It’s… not bad.”

The faint approval in his voice surprises you, but you don’t let it show. “I know,” you say instead, crossing your ankles. “It’s a good starting point.”

“But it’s still vague,” he muses. “If we’re going to pitch this, we need to make it concrete. How are we actually going to combine everything? Are we splitting the space? Alternating pieces? Blending them somehow?”

Your stomach twists at the thought of compromising the layout, but you push the discomfort down. “We could structure it around the theme. Pair photos and artworks that complement each other—contrast them, even. It could be a dialogue between the two mediums.”

Mingyu’s eyes narrow slightly, like he’s contemplating. He nods, once, reluctantly. “It could work.”

“Okay,” you say. “Then we’ll need to draft a detailed proposal—layout, schedule, costs. Dean Park isn’t going to approve of something half-baked.”

“Obviously.”

You glare at him, but there’s no real heat behind it. “We’ll have to inform our members as soon as possible.”

“Done. I’ll text you, ‘kay?”

You hum in response, watching him gather his things. It’s not exactly a truce, and it’s definitely not teamwork—not yet, at least. But for the first time, you feel like both of you are pushing against the same problem, rather than each other.

“See you around, I guess,” you say tentatively, reaching for your bag.

Mingyu slings his camera bag over his shoulder and lets his lips curve upwards by the slightest. “See you.”

When Kim Mingyu said he would text you, you expected him to send you a message some time during the day, like a normal person would. Of course, the mistake you made was assuming that anything Kim Mingyu does is normal, so, really, why are you even surprised?

You don’t know for sure, but you’re certain it has everything to do with the fact that you were startled out of sleep minutes ago because of the incessant ringing of your phone, a week after your proposal was approved by Dean Park. The caller ID says Kim Mingyu (Photography President) and the time on your phone screen reads 1:01 A.M.

Someday, you will find a way to strangle him and get away with it.

You squint at your phone, half-tempted to let it ring out, but you know he’s stubborn enough to keep calling until your phone dies. You swipe to answer with more force than necessary.

“What?” you snap, voice rough with sleep.

“Get dressed,” he says, sounding way more chipper than anyone in their right mind would at one in the morning. “I’m outside.”

You sit up in bed, your blankets falling into a heap around you. “Outside where?”

“Your building.”

There’s a pause while you blink, trying to process his words. “My what?”

“Look, there’s no time to argue,” he says, as if he’s not the one calling you at an ungodly hour. “I need to show you something. It’s about the exhibition. Plus, I have hot chocolate.”

“Couldn’t this have waited until daylight?” you ask—but curiosity, and the mention of free hot chocolate, gets the better of you. You rub the sleep out of your eyes and slide out of bed.

“Nope, it’s time-sensitive,” says Mingyu, while you’re busy shoving your head through the nearest hoodie you could find.

When you step outside, the cool night air pricks at your skin, and you spot him almost instantly. Mingyu is leaning against the lamppost by the entrance to your building, a steaming styrofoam cup in each hand and his camera slung around his neck. His tall frame and disheveled hair, illuminated by the soft glow of the light, would almost make him look charming—were you not keen on murdering him for disrupting your sleep.

“What took you so long?” he says, holding out one of the cups as you approach.

“You’re insane,” you reply, snatching the cup from him. The warmth seeps into your fingers, and despite your irritation, you take a grateful sip. It’s sweet, just the way you like it. “This better be worth it.”

“It will be,” he promises, already turning towards the path the winds through your campus.

The night air is cool and crisp, laced with the faint scent of damp earth and fallen leaves. You clutch the cup of hot chocolate like it’s a lifeline, savouring its warmth, though it does little to thaw your irritation. Mingyu walks ahead of you, long strides confident; you trail behind him, muttering under your breath about insufferable photography club presidents and their questionable priorities.

The campus feels different at night—quieter, softer—as if the world has taken a deep breath and is holding it. Shadows stretch long and wide under the sporadic lampposts, and the buildings loom taller, their windows dark. The only sounds are the soft crunch of gravel underfoot. You don’t want to admit it, but there’s something peaceful about this moment, despite your company.

“Here,” Mingyu says suddenly, veering off the path toward a patch of bushes near the edge of the quad.

You hesitate, watching as he crouches low. His movements are surprisingly careful for someone normally so clumsy. He motions for you to follow, his fingers pressed to his lips in a gesture for silence.

“What are you—”

“Shh,” he whispers, pointing ahead.

At first, you don’t see anything. But as you squint, you catch a movement—a small shape darting across the grass. And then another.

A family of raccoons.

There are four of them, their sleek bodies silver in the moonlight. The largest one—presumably the mother—nudges a smaller one forward, while the other two rummage through a pile of leaves nearby.

You crouch next to Mingyu, your knees pressing into the damp grass, and watch the raccoon family scurry about under the pale silver glow of the moon. The mother raccoon joins her two kits and noses through the leaves, while the smallest one tumbles clumsily after her, clearly still learning the ways of the world.

“They’re cute,” you whisper.

“Hm,” Mingyu hums, lifting his camera to his eye. The soft click of the shutter sounds through the quiet. “I’ve been tracking them for weeks. This seems to be their favourite hideout for the night.”

You glance at him sideways, watching the way his brows furrow in concentration, the way he adjusts the angle ever-so slightly before clicking another picture. He’s good at this, you think—finding something ordinary and turning it into something else.

“You dragged me out of bed for raccoons?” you ask, without any real malice in your voice.

“They’re more interesting than you give them credit for,” he says, not looking up from his viewfinder. “Most people don’t even notice them. And if they do, it’s just to call them pests.”

The soft, almost wistful tone of his voice surprises you. You shift your gaze back to the raccoons, watching as one of the smaller ones climbs onto a low branch, wobbling slightly before regaining its balance.

“They’re just trying to survive,” Mingyu continues, lowering his camera. “Finding food, looking after their family. They’re not pests. They’re— Resourceful. Resilient.”

You blink, caught off guard by the thoughtfulness in his words. “And this connects to the exhibition how?”

He smiles slightly, finally turning to look at you. “Think about it. How many things go unnoticed every day? How many stories don’t get told ‘cause people are too busy looking at what’s shiny and obvious?”

You frown, considering his words. The raccoon mother pulls out a discarded chocolate wrapper from the leaves, sniffing it before passing it to one of her kits. It’s nothing extraordinary, but there is something undeniably tender about the way she moves, the quiet care in her actions.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about our exhibition theme,” says Mingyu, “and—”

“It’s a matter of perspective,” you finish softly, the words slipping out before you can contain them.

Mingyu nods. “Exactly. Everyone’s always so focused on the big picture that they forget the small details. The stuff that seems insignificant but isn’t.” He gestures towards the raccoons. “This is the kind of thing I want to highlight—the unnoticed, the overlooked. The beauty in things people usually ignore.”

He has a point. The raccoons, with their clever little hands and determined movements, have a strange sort of grace to them. You wonder how many times you’ve walked past this very spot without noticing them, without realising there was a whole world quietly unfolding in the shadows.

“You think we can tie this to the exhibition?” you ask, your skepticism only half-hearted now.

“Why not?” he replies, enthusiasm bleeding into his tone. “Your art pieces are all about interpretation, right? How people see the world in their own way. And photography is about showing people something they didn't notice before. It fits.”

You chew on the inside of your cheek, annoyed by how much sense he’s making. Grudgingly, you mutter, “You’re not as stupid as you look.”

Mingyu laughs softly, the sound low and warm in the night air. “Thanks, I think.”

You both fall silent again, watching as the raccoons scurry off to another tree nearby. Mingyu raises his camera one last time, snapping a shot of their retreating forms before lowering his camera with a small, satisfied sigh.

“They’ll be gone by morning,” he says, almost to himself, “and no one will know they were here.”

There’s something oddly poetic about the thought, and you’re struck by the realisation that, for all his infuriating habits, Kim Mingyu has an eye for seeing things differently. Maybe that’s why he’s so good at what he does—and, maybe, that’s why you think he’s not so different from you, after all.

The walk back to your building is quiet. Mingyu keeps his camera slung over his shoulder. You sip the last of your hot chocolate. Lukewarm as it is, it’s sweet and nice and provides a shred of warmth against the cool air nipping at your cheeks.

“Don’t get used to this,” you say, as the two of you near your building.

Mingyu blinks innocently. “Used to what?”

“Me being nice to you.”

He grins, a boyish, lopsided thing that makes your heart rabbit about, just a little. “Noted. I’ll savour it while it lasts.”

You pull out your sketchbook and your charcoal pencils the next day, after classes, and settle down on a bench that offers a clear view of the quad. The winter sun is a gentle wash of gold, spilling over the campus like honey, pooling in the dips of the cobblestones, and casting long, soft-edged shadows. It’s a contrast to the silvery quiet of last night, but somehow, the same tranquility lingers, a memory etched into the air.

The spot where the raccoons had been feels empty now, but not barren. Students drift through the quad in loose clusters. A girl sprawls on the grass with a textbook splayed open beside her. Two boys toss a frisbee near the far end, their laughter bright and contagious. Someone sits cross-legged under a tree, earbuds in, bobbing their head to music only they can hear.

Your pencil touches the paper, instinctive. Lines emerge, at first hesitant and light, but quickly growing in confidence. You sketch the arch of the bushes, the curve of their leaves. The grass flows beneath your hand, strokes that whisper of its softness, of its endless spread.

The students begin to take form next, their figures caught mid-motion—an outstretched hand here, a tilted head there. You don’t draw their faces; they’re not meant to be individuals, but simply a part of the quad in daylight.

You don’t think about composition or technique; your hand moves as though it has a will of its own, tracing shapes and shadows. For the first time in what feels like forever, there’s no pressure, no self-imposed critique weighing you down. The sunlight dapples the page, shifting as the leaves above you sway in the breeze. Your strokes grow bolder, the charcoal smudging against your fingertips as you shade in the deeper shadows, the play of the light on the cobblestones.

You pause, leaning back slightly, your eyes flicking between the quad and your sketch. It’s not perfect—nothing ever is—but it feels right.

Then, out of nowhere, you think of Mingyu.

It’s a small thought at first, barely noticeable—a stray memory of him crouched low in the grass last night, his camera poised. But it grows, and before you realise what’s happening, you’re imagining what he’d think of the sketch. Would he point out the uneven shading, the hasty lines where you’d been too impatient to linger? Or would he see what you see?

You close the sketchbook. The thought of showing it to him surprises you, an idea you’re not sure you understand. You’re not friends—not really—and the very idea of seeking his approval feels strange.

But you’ll trust your instincts, you suppose. They haven’t led you astray so far. You tuck your sketchbook under your arm and set out to find Kim Mingyu.

You find Kim Mingyu in the photography clubroom, hunched over a cluttered table, sorting through a stack of pictures. The room smells faintly of ink and chemicals, the soft hum of a printer filling the silence. The light streaming through the windows bathes everything in warm, golden hues, catching on the strands of his hair every time he shifts.

For some inexplicable reason, you feel shy.

You linger by the doorway for a moment, fingers tightening around the edges of your sketchbook. It’s ridiculous, really—he’s the same infuriating person who called you at one in the morning and dragged you across campus to look at raccoons. But now, with the sketchbook in your hands and a strange weight in your chest, the thought of stepping into the room feels monumental.

You clear your throat, and he glances up. His hair is slightly messy, like he’s been running his hands through it in frustration, and the sleeves of his hoodie are pushed up to his elbows. For a split second, he looks surprised to see you. Then his expression shifts into something closer to curiosity.

“Hi,” he says, holding out a photograph like it’s a peace offering. “Are you lost? Or are you here to chew me out over something about the exhibition?”

You roll your eyes, stepping further into the room. “Neither. I wanted to—” You hesitate, the words tangling on your tongue. His gaze flickers to the sketchbook under your arm. Thankfully, he doesn’t push.

“Come in,” he says instead. “Since you’re here anyway—” he gestures toward the stack of pictures— “help me decide. I’m narrowing down shots for the exhibition.”

You step closer, drawn despite yourself. The photographs are stunning—a leaf caught mid-fall, a cluster of streetlights glowing through the fog, the silhouette of a child through a bus window.

“They’re good,” you say, and you mean it.

“Just good?” he teases, leaning against the table. But there’s something gentler in his expression now, a quiet kind of pride that softens the edges of his grin. “Coming from you, that’s basically a standing ovation.”

You glance away, suddenly self-conscious. Your fingers tighten around the sketchbook again, and before you can overthink it, you thrust it at him. “Here.”

Mingyu blinks. “What’s this?”

“Just—look at it,” you mumble, heat rising to your cheeks.

He takes the sketchbook carefully and flips it open to the page you’d drawn earlier. His eyes trace the lines etched into the paper with charcoal, widening slightly.

“It’s the quad,” he murmurs, quieter than you expected.

“Obviously.”

“No, I mean—” Mingyu looks up at you, and there’s something thoughtful in his gaze. “It’s the quad, but it—it feels… alive, you know?”

You suck in a breath sharply, eyes darting to him. “Alive?”

“Yeah.” He gestures at the sketch, fingers hovering just above the page. “Like here,” he says, pointing to a student mid-step, laughing at something the person next to them says. “And this.” He moves his finger and circles the pair of boys tossing a frisbee about. “I can actually imagine it happening. In real time. Does that make sense?”

The way Mingyu looks at your hastily-drawn sketch—as though it’s something extraordinary—makes your chest feel tight, like you’re holding your breath without even realising.

“I don’t know how you did this,” he continues, almost to himself, eyes roving over the page like he’s trying to decode a secret. “It’s not just the quad—it’s everything about it. It’s like you froze something no one else would notice.” The corners of his mouth lift in a small, disarming smile. “It’s kind of amazing.”

Your mind scrambles for something to say. “It’s… not that big of a deal,” you say lamely. “Just a sketch.”

“Not to me.”

Your eyes settle on the stack of photographs on the table, anything to distract yourself from the heat crawling up your neck. “So, um, what does this mean for the exhibition?”

“Everything,” he says simply—knowingly, almost. Mingyu flips the sketchbook shut and hands it back to you.

You hug the sketchbook to your chest. “You think so?”

“Yeah,” says Mingyu. “You’re really talented, you know that? Not just technically. You see things—details most people miss. That’s really rare.”

You see them, too, you want to say. Because he does. You’ve witnessed it firsthand, and your sketch feels like a paltry attempt at recreating the same thing. Mingyu’s compliment sends a strange ripple through you—half pride, half unease. It’s not that you haven’t been praised for your work before, but coming from him, it feels… different.

“I just drew what I saw.”

“Yeah, but you saw it,” Mingyu presses. “Not everyone would.”

The sincerity in his tone makes your heart stutter. You glance at him, unsure of what to say, and find him watching you with an expression that’s entirely too open. You’re not sure when the shift happened, but you feel it—a softening, an ease you hadn’t expected to find with him.

The confusion in your chest settles into something quieter, something that almost makes sense.

Maybe you don’t dislike Kim Mingyu. Maybe you never disliked him at all.

There is something to be said about having a crush on the person you thought you would never get along with.

It creeps in during moments you don’t realise are important until later. You find yourself seeking him out more often, not because the exhibition needs it—it’s practically done—but because you enjoy being in his presence. The barbs you once threw at each other have become something like banter; his toothy grin makes your heart flutter in your chest. You don’t know when it started, but it’s there now, a quiet and persistent little thing that is difficult to ignore.

The day of the exhibition dawns quicker than you expect, and ends just as quickly.

Kim Mingyu kisses you at the end of it, when the lights are dim and the skies are tinged with twilight. His lips are featherlight at first, and his hands cradle your face. He is soft, warm, and your fingers find their way to the collar of his shirt, gripping tightly.

There is much to be said about having a crush on the person you thought you would never get along with. The most important is this: it’s simply a matter of perspective.

⇢ a/n: thank you thank you thank you to @etherealyoungk for helping me out with all the design/art aspects of this fic & essentially brainstorming this entire thing with me; skye lifesaver fr (the theme behind combining the art and photography club events was all her idea). thanks for reading & i hope you have a wonderful day!

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