#i heard you like swords
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I'm a lesbian and I own a sword so understandably I'm considering making that my entire personality
#i got thw sword from my grandfather#he was like#i heard you like swords#and i was like#you heard correctly#and he was like#cool i have this sword do you want it?#OF COURSE I WANT IT#anyway now i own a sword#lesbian#sword#sword lesbian#sabas shitpost#queer#gay#shitpost
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May your hardened heart be woken By the soft and distant song Of all you left here unspoken All the shards we keep stepping on - Take this body home Take this body home Call the wind, and let her know Take this life outgrown Take this broken soul Call the stars, call them all And take it high, take it far, take it home
#svsss#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#bingqiu#sqq#lbh#scum villain#heard the song Take This Body Home by Rose Betts and it nearly took me out at the knees#it really really suits sqq's self-detonation in hua yue city right? i'm not the only one feeling this?#considered adding some literal shards for them to be stepping on - since sqq's sword explodes - but i couldn't quite make it work#anyway this has been playing like a music video in my head for the past couple days highly recommend listening to the song#if you haven't heard it before#can't get over the absolute dissonance between how sqq views this scene and how everyone else must feel about it#like to him he's just completing his plan - hopefully keeping lbh from destroying a city with energy imbalance and escaping The Plot#nbd! he and sqh have planned it all out it's FINE :) off he goes!#meanwhile everyone who loves him - including lbh who worked years to get back to him and is trying to work through a lot of grief#and resentment and doubt and longing and... - watches him DIE in FRONT OF THEM#just collapse while coughing up blood sword disintegrating energy completely consumed#like holy hell sqq could you traumatize the people around you any more???#no wonder lbh went a little bit crazy after that like my man was already not in a great place but what the fuck#lbh watches his shizun presumably sacrifice himself for him ONCE AGAIN like after he's finally Gotten Strong his shizun is STILL#coming to harm in an effort to make up for his shortcomings#my art#most of the time out here drawing what amounts to muppets and then sometimes i get the urge for this and just need to cover everyone in blo
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Quan Yizhen, watching Xie Lian make out with a ghost: What an effective way to exchange power, did you see how he got super strong sooo fast?? :D
Mu Qing: Oh for-
Pei Ming, uncle extraordinaire: That's right bud. Very efficient! But see, when two people love each other very much-
#bro really said ānot before marriage sonā#this whole sequence is such a fever dream#just riding around on a xie lian statue half the size of a mountain and fusing your colleagues into a sword#wielding that blade with the power of friendship#as you do#qi ying my beloved#he is me at any function like idk where i am or what we're doing but i'm happy to be here#my guy beats even mobei-jun at the autism game put some respect on his name š¤#heaven official's blessing#tian guan ci fu#tgcf#tgcf spoilers#xie lian#hualian#mu qing#quan yizhen#pei ming#ive heard of the ho ho thing before which is pretty iconic but this was so much funnier to me
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i think it'd be funny if someone transmigrated as xin mo. the goddamn evil sword. instead of taking it seriously, they just really fucked around with bingge. and, somehow, ended up having the opposite effect of what it's supposedly rumored to do.
picture this: bingge, on the quest for revenge and power, comes across the almighty xin mo. this demonic sword killed everyone that dared to even try wielding it. and, the few who were lucky enough to have it by their side, eventually succumbed to the swords' will.
it is said that the sword is unlike any other, that it etches into your head and eats away your brain, until eventually it consumes you whole. it whispers, speaking in lust, greed, and hatred. it slowly beckons the wielder into giving in to the worst part of themselves and feeds off of pure sin. but to him, it is no matter; luo bingge will surely tame it.
and then he gets to the sword.
demonic qi practically oozes from xin mo. the aura surrounding it makes every part of luo bingge scream, "run; get away, away from that monster." his gut prods at him, begging bingge that this is probably a really bad idea. it's a little terrifying, how even luo bingge, the determined, vengeful demon, is now getting second thoughts about wielding xin mo from just being in its presence alone.
but luo bingge is too, a monster. so he ignores the screams of plea; pushing every thought of doubt in the back of his head, and tightly grips onto the handle. the world around him seems to spin and shake, tumble and crack, from the amount of force bingge needs to use in order to pull the sword of sin out of its place.
when bingge finally has it perfectly fit into the palms of his calloused hands, he hears whispering. he knows that the sword has accepted him as its new host.
the sword's language crawls up to him, as if it were feeling around his body and mind. checking every nook and cranny for it to settle into bingge's form, truly becoming one with the embodiment of sin. the words flow through his brain like a tragically broken guqin, a melody that holds him in a frighteningly familiar trance - all while simultaneously eating away at his brain in the worst ways possible, akin to a child and their favorite snack. it seems to beckon something, but even with luo bingge's impressive hearing, he cannot make out any words from the tone-deaf musical notes xin mo sings.
and then, it is clear. the land around him settles, and everything is still. xin mo itself seems to be.. content. at least, that is what luo bingge believes.
the language of this wretched sword reflects the state around these two monsters.
luo bingge expects it to demand for bloodshed, for the erotic ecstasy of multiple women, for bingge to steal the last of the finest gems of these horrible, vast lands.
instead, he hears this:
"yoooo damn that shit was crazy. did you see what i did there? man, you know, it feels so fucking good to get out of the dirt. hey, do you know if people can like, feed their swords or something? i'm kinda craving something spicy. we never know, in this wack world! wait, don't hold me like that, buddy. it'll make things real awkward."
but luo bingge is determined to get his revenge, so he puts up with the swords' constant rambling about.. whatever the hell it's thinking.
"wait, dude, did you seriously fuck a dying girl? that's wild. yeah, like i know she was dying but it doesn't sound like you wanted it. yo, listen to me, consent is very sexy."
"HAHA hey, dude, sir, man. you wanna play some 'i spy'? we don't have anything else to do. no? too bad, we're playing it. i spy a loser who doesn't wanna play i spy. hint: he's holding me right now."
"okay i know i'm supposed to be this super evil sword and beg to be used - woah that sounded real wrong - but can you at least clean me when you're done killing shit? if you don't, i'm gonna refuse to respond to you and you'll look like a dumbass trying to wield me."
"i can't hear you lalalalalalala you're not being very it girl right now lallalalaalalalla-"
somehow, this is worse than if xin mo was actually eating away at his brain.
weirdly enough though, as luo bingge starts spending more time with this weird ass, seemingly possessed sword, it starts to become more of a.. comfort to have it by his side than pure annoyance. he finds himself responding to it more, like, actually having full on conversations with it. it puts him at ease, wielding xin mo. the hatred doesn't consume him, instead, it seems to soothe the burning rage (and, admittedly, just replace it with small irritation) that holds onto his darkened heart.
xin mo is actually quite kind and caring, for a sword that's supposed represent and be the literal embodiment of sin. sure, it is a hassle to have it cooperate with him sometimes, and it does just ramble on and on about the most random things ever, not giving a single shit if bingge was in the middle of sleeping with maidens and slaying those who get in his way. for the first time, bingge feels so comfortable around something.
it's.. odd. what was supposed to be the turning point in his life, a big step in his plan for revenge, is now something akin to an... acquaintance. not like mobei-jun, or any of the women he's come across, but an actual, dare he say, friend.
sometimes, he finds himself thinking all of this delusional. is this what people were driven mad by? perhaps they simply could not handle dealing with a talking sword. he understands that xin mo was undoubtedly unbearable to be around at the beginning of their alliance, but it has never actually beckoned for blood, power, and sex. if anything, it does the opposite.
maybe he's the delusional one. maybe this is xin mo's way of getting to him.
maybe, xin mo should be considered a thing. the thought feels terribly laughable, as if he were witnessing a person horribly explain themselves. it also makes his teeth grind together in pure agitation.
"hey, you know, you didn't deserve any of the things they did. it wasn't your fault, binghe. the fact that you're half heavenly demon doesn't make you a monster, or any of that wild stuff.. uh, i'm here for you, okay? i know you don't really like talking about all of this or opening up, but i just want you to know that you can.. talk about it. it's not like i can tell anyone else, anyways.
hey- shit i didn't mean to make you cry! wait, wait it's okay to cry! you need to let it out anyways, i promise it doesn't make you weak. there, there. i don't have any hands, so me patting you on the head with my handle will have to do. there, there.. everything will be alright, you'll be okay. i'll be here every step of the way, even if you want to get rid of me."
xin mo, the demonic sword, is more of a person - a good person - than anyone he'd ever come across.
...and then bingge and the xin mo transmigrator become besties or he falls for the damn sword. knowing him, he probably doesn't even know the difference between platonic and romantic attraction anyways. maybe bingge gets a plant body for xin mo using airplane's wack writing. idk i typed all of this down in one sitting.
(plot twist: it's not that the transmigrator xin mo had the opposite effect, it was literally just a placebo effect. luo bingge thought that, and thus it actually did help him lmao)
#PIDW but make xin mo a soul eater fan#why did i actually write all of this#idk it just sounded funny but then i kinda got sad at the end because bingge is such a lonely person its genuinely depressing#at least in here he has his this weird talking demonic sword#someone transmigrates into xin mo and ends up becoming an emotional support and comfort sword#i would say that this could be shen yuan but the xin mo transmigrator couldnt give any less of a fuck about bingges plans#and would also annoy sqq if he had to deal with it#might write this#but i need to finish that time travel bingge x reader enemies to friends to lovers thing#yes you heard me right a bingge x reader let me make him happy ok#bingmei already has sqq bingge needs someone :( and therapy but that doesnt exist here#while i thought of this i imagined like this floating talking sword by bingge#i actually have like a lot of WIPs this is only one of them#for some reason i had this idea after seeing this one instagram reel where gojo was cinderellas fairy godmother and sang IT girl#and that inspired an annoying talking xin mo transmigrator#luo binghe#luo bingge#mxtx svsss#svsss#fanfic stuff#the scum villain's self saving system#svsss ideas
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One Piece ep. 260 || "Even a monster like him isn't the leader of the group?"
+ bonus
#one piece#onepieceedit#opgraphics#monkey d. luffy#roronoa zoro#zolu#hehe this scene#zoro one piece#luffy one piece#luzo#mine#gif:one piece#gif:op anime#water 7 arc#water seven arc#i kinda mixed the manga and anime translations. bc i like the ācut it. its in the way.ā āgotcha.ā better#but zoro's sword technique was called the castle gate in the manga im reading. and the rashomon thing was in anime so i left it there#it sounds cool. i hope its okay#āyou heard me. i said cut it.ā luffy knowing immediately that zoro could do it. it just !!! precious#also the others around wondering why zoro isnt the main leader/captain himself! its so good!! like hes this capable and more#but without luffy he wouldnt even want to be a pirate or on another ship. he wouldnt have his purpose#but he also keeps luffy in check and making sure he's the captain him and the others can follow !! they're insane#one piece episode 260#one piece chapter 371
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Have a romp in a Honda Odyssey now and fix your marital disagreements today!
#all seats and seatbelts are susceptible to adamantium claws and/or swords but if you pin your husband down by his belt#the cushion is steady enough that you will lose no momentum!#100% guarantee or your money back#tracks include Wolverine variants singing#yes you heard it right singing#as well as I'm With You by Avril Lavigne#and You're The One That I Want from Grease!#roof is designed to sustain an entire Deadpool rolling across it to attempt to strangle a Wolverine with a seatbelt#windows have decreased durability for maximum a-spec when you both prefer to stay in the car#suspension itself is able to withstand all night all day rocking#with enough gas to spare from a forest set and into a lair of survivors in the Void!#so what are you waiting for! nab a Honda Odyssey and fight with your husbands on the way to a sacrificial scene with Madonna in the bg musi#ads like this is probably deadpool approved#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#wade wilson#wolverine#logan howlett
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arthur: merlin, why are you telling me all this nonsense about some stupid sword
merlin, about to make up a whole new piece of arthurian legend: oh you haven't heard?
#gaslighter and bullshitter extraordinaire#(I love him)#'checking for woodworms'#'she likes to be paid in clothes'#'MOTHS!'#'you haven't heard about the sword in the stone??'#'arthur everyone knows about the sword in the stone'#merlin#merlin emrys#excalibur#merlin memes
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girl... kill!!!!
#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#revue proseka#please watch revue starlight Please watch revue starlight. look at me. toxic lesbians with swords. theatre kids. god complexes.#a giraffe. the best ost youve ever heard from a bushiroad franchise or anything else ever. a banana. PLEEEASEE.#canon lesbians. Canon divorce between two 17 year old girls who never actually got married. Please watch revue starlight#I love my revstar aus cause its when its at kamiyama its like emu doesnt even go here. and when its at miyajou its like AN doesnt GO HERE#avtuay Actually OKAY You giys see th e . Um. The. L. An#nooo... nooooo...... no... nuh uh.... im going back to bed#original caption was maim bite timeloop bite bite attack blood etc. thought that was too on the nose#leaving the caption empty. this is yuri. dont know what to put there. Who give a fuck#HELP THE LAST LIKE 4 POSTS HAVE BEEN EMUS AT 4AM ALMOST EXACTLY. THEYRE PUTTING ME DOWN NEXT WEEK
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āThe Loom of Fate has already been completedā *looks Dain dead in the eyes* what were you up to for the past four years bestie
#listen the way I distrust Dain. Itās an art at this point#maybe heās sus maybe my Traveler has trust issues lol#no really I heard this line (or however it went) and almost lost my mind#like Dain. Dainsleif. The Midnight Sword. Captain of Royal Guard. WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITāS COMPLETED#ISTG I WAS UNDER AN IMPRESSION *WE* WERE SUPPOSED TO HINDER IT???? LIKE. WHAT *WERE* YOU UP TO WHILE WE WERE TRAVELING???????????#EACH TIME I'M LIKE āWELL MAYBE HE CAN BE TRUSTEDā SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPENS#DAIN YOU BETTER EXPLAIN YOURSELF#I KNOW i know it's probably a misdirect or something but if at any point in time we will be stabbed by Dain in the back I Told You So#ohhhhhhhhh man#genshin impact#afinna explores teyvat#genshin impact thoughts#genshin impact traveler#genshin impact dainsleif#genshin impact 4.7
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THE ORDER OF PALMS An order of holy folk that serve The Helm, working to create powerful Aasimar Paladins for the purpose of protecting any who hire their help. [BACKSTORY UNDER CUT]
One day, Gjƶr and her peers were lead by their mentor Opheria, to a mission far from their home. On the peak of that mountain village, they saw upon the horizon, the castle of their home go up in flames. Horrified and scared, the apprentices sought to follow their mentors guidance, and followed her lead into a small barn. It was there, that Opheria proceeded to slaughter each and everyone of the apprentices. It seemed she somehow had a hand in this sudden attack on the Order of Palms. Gjƶr D'annevual survived a sword through the 'heart', on account of a rare condition, that places her heart on the other side of her chest. When she finally managed to bring herself back home, the Order was insulted by her survival. She had so many better peers, why couldn't any of them have survived? This runt was seriously the only thing that survived Opherias wrath? It was better to just wash their hands clean of this. Thus the Order decided to banish Gjƶr from their ranks. She now travels the land in search of a purpose.
#luckys original content#dungeons and dragons#MY OCSSSS MY WONDERFUL OCSSS ITS BEEN SO LONGGGG!!this is a fairly old character that i made foreeeever ago#i was trying to go full on into DND LORE ONLY instead of makin up my own stuff. so when i was lookin around i learned abt THE HELM#the god of protection or watever it was. i also like playing paladin bc i love to hit things w my sword. i also like aasimars bc theyrprett#im sure i ahd other Min Maxy reasons for her but i dont have her sheet n ive forgotten everything. never got a chance to play her but yknow#maybe someday. I LIKE HER ALOT TOO. big and strong and well meaning but a lil dumb. justa lil dense n stupid. but she tries!!#I LIKE CHARACTERS THAT HAVE JUST SMALL THINGS DIFERENT ABT THEM. i knew some1 who had that condition. where everythings just flipped#aint that fucked up? that ur organs can just be flipped? and inever see it in fiction. its so neat. imagine finding out like THIS too#she had blacked out from the sword through the heart. the last thing she heard from her mentor was;#'you were a great student. that is why you above all else must die. i hope you understand' spoken through a gentle voice and a gentle smile#the very same that had guided Gjļæ½ļæ½r so far through her journey.A BETRAYAL LIKE NO OTHER! she awoke utop a pile of comrades#each bloodied and dead and cold. she used her own magic to heal herself. to catch herself from the precipice of bleeding out#when she stepped out of the barn she had found that the village was burned to the ground#she was shellshocked!! it took her weeks to limp all the way back down that mountain. all the way back to the place she called home#only to be spit on and kicked back out. being a Paladin of the Palms was her entire life. what was she to do now?#OH SO THE ART. I RLY LIKE HER DESIGN.heavily based off of THE BABY SITTER from HALO LEGENDS. i fuckin love halo so much guys.....#i just love that trope of Big Strong Person in Armor that we all thought wasa fullgrown MAN takes off the helmet to revel shesa PRETTY GIRL#my favorite in the WORLD!! i also like the silly frilly pretty dress sorta motif in gjors armor. it hides all the stuff i dont wanna draw#thats all the ramble i got in me for now. PLEASE ENJOY. and ask me abt my ocs
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his gaze always evades me doesnāt know he is paving the road for my escape way
drywall - paris paloma
#paris paloma#drywall#ummmm#i saw this shot in the video and stopped breathing#im actually obsessed with her#like this is not my usual style of music at all#(or my usual style of gifset lol)#but like#have you heard it#also you know#swords
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More like rad-b-gone lol
#I love that you can see me back off to dodge his grab before Iām like oh wait I can just bonk him lol#thank you radagon for being the only boss I could see myself doing hitless#except my dodge rate for his stomp/poke combo is like 5%#so itās only feasible if he doesnāt do that moveā¦#oh and the ānothing personnel kidā teleport and fast smash can also suck it#him the crucible knights and the bell bearing hunter are the only enemies Iāve learned to consistently parry in ER š®āšØ#I tried learning maleniaās parries but her damage is so overtuned it str8 up was not worth the risk and effort š„“#radagon definitely isnāt the most fun boss in Elden ring but I think heās like the most fair out of every single one#which is why itās gr8 that all my goodwill gets toss out the window with Elden beast š„“#I had one moment where he did Elden stars chase attack the triple closing rings and then sword swipes#and got absolutely annihilated bc I could not dodge all 3 attacks at once#like attack RNG has always been part of the difficulty in these games but with my limited knowledge this is the first one where#(( outside of gank fights ))#the RNG difficulty slider goes from manageable all the way to full health to death#had one round with malenia where she used waterfowl blade SIX TIMES and I only managed to survive bc I was playing around with a mage build#and was letting bby tiche do most of the damage while I pulled aggro from far away enough that I could dodge WFB comfortably#can you tell Iāve only ever done double godskins with both NPC summons and tears#Iāve heard enough about that fights bullshit that I straight up trivialize it every time I get it to it#Elden ring truly is the most difficult and easiest fromsoft game to dateā¦ dialectic š„³#excited to see how they balance things in the DLC bc honestly outside of WFB malenia really is a fun boss#I donāt mind that her normal attacks are so punishing bc dodging around them or knocking her out of certain attacks feels gr8#so if bosses are malenia level TUNED without WFB level BULLSHIT I can see myself getting really into it š„³#tsuchi plays games
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ok but the monarchs of fe engage are awesome and they needed to be done in this format.
#like they're all such badasses#and eve what a woman her husband dies her son is chronically ill her kingdom is threatened by Brodia's encroaching might and she hammers#out a peace treaty with Brodia as in Brodia as in war and might kick butt BRODIA. like what a šqueenš#but in the field of battle she is no match for any of them tho#like she is a smart savvy political force for good in elyos but give her a sword and it is a B A D idea#for real though#seforia has beaten Hyacinth in every form of combat (aside from magical) and is almost at Morion's level#noooo the saddest head canon she was training to beat morion in a sword duel (coz she lost the last one) when she heard of his death... š„ŗ#also hyacinth seems like the guy that goes to parties eggs people on and then watches the drama sipping the tea he got from Eve.#eve is trying to break up the drama but also kind of in it morion and seforia are the drama and lumera is trying to get all of them to stop#lumera and eve were besties you cannot change my mind#Fire emblem#fire emblem engage#fe#cinnamon roll meme chart#memes because I can
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totk really is one of those games that make me go "ok thanks for the characters, setting, and general plot, but ill take it from here <3" because the entire historical timeline had so much potential for interesting and nuanced story telling but they just went with the old zelda story formula and YES thats how theyve always done it but botw was such a reset in terms of gameplay that they couldve overhauled how they handle story in totk. but they didnt
#ramblings#all the races swearing fealty to rauru made me so uncomfortable#like yeahhh ganondorf evil or whatever but also. hey. why is the one leader fighting for the independence of his people. the evil villain#am i just not getting something here am i insane#my first thought when i heard about ganondorf returning was 'wow they could turn him into an actual character' AND THEN THEY DIDNT#its been half a year i feel like the honeymoon period is over. totk was kinda mid. im sorry#it was alright but it just. didnt grab me. at all#botw was interesting because it was new but totk made me yearn for the older zelda formula#though tbh. im always yearning for the older zelda formula. i grew up on oot & twilight princess#you hype up ganondorf so much you make him look like THAT (no im still not over this) and then you just. do what weve always done#this happened in twilight princess. it happened in oot. it happened in ww. hell if you count demise it happened in skyward sword#IT HAPPENE.D IN THE FUCKING HYRULD WARRIORS SPINOFF#'oooh noooo the great evil has returned' WEVE BEEN HERE EVERY TIME. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH POTENTIAL#heres the gerudo having a man born and making him king as is their custom but they spend years in fear that he will be monstrous#here they are after all these iterations of ganondorf afraid to even have kids out of fear that SOMEONE will bring the new great evil#heres a child recently given the throne despite being barely more than a baby always treated with fear by everyone around him#ARE YOU SEEING MY VISION????#the curse is right there. do something with it. oh my god#i KNOW zelda games are just simple heros journeys but pleaseeee i need food#you dont have to make ganondorf nice just. do something with him im so tired of the evil guy caricature#i like guys who are plain evil but i like them more when they have some fucked up motivation beyond taking over the world
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I finally finished the latest patch, and WOWIE!!! (thoughts will go into tags)
#i love March so damn much#i gotta go through the cutscenes again to snag more icons for her#AND YANQING + YUNLI??? ADORE THEM#she's so bratty and he's so petty - it reminds me of my students at work#i heard people were ragging on them for being childish but like??? theyre kids#thats what they do lmao#i LOVE THEM for it#JY made me tear up dkddhisje#all it took was two damn words; āi know.ā#HE SPEAKS TO YANQING SO PATERNALLY AND KINDLY I CANT#im not normal about JY okay - im just quiet about it xjhdoshekjd#AND GOD. DAMN. ALL THE NEW CHARACTERS ARE HOT.#Jiaoqiu? HANDSOME#but i wanna shake him around until he gets some sense into him#Lingsha? PRETTY#but as much as i love the big sister energy she has with Yunli - i dont trust her as far as i can throw her#FEIXIAO???? MA'AM#holy CRAP is she hot#not just visually - but they way she carries herself??? the way she SPEAKS???#i nearly lost my damn mind when she stopped Yanqing and Yunli's swords#not to mention the line - āsince you dont want to be the bad guy - general - *i'll take care of that for you* ā#š³ **MA'AM!!!!!!!!!*#what a WOMAN#the only one im kinda āmehā on is Moze#maybe im influenced by the nonsense surrounding his VA#maybe im biased because he looks and acts like a ShadowBlues lovechild (megaman fans know)#but aside from a line or two getting a chuckle out of me - i dont really have an opinion of him#hot take; even Hoolay is hot#wtf Hoyo - you made the cannibal furry hot#mun speak
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I found out why all the new people suddenly know my legal name instead of what everyone calls me at work and it's because the new hr person (who I have talked to all of once) is pointing me out to newbies by it.
#chit chat#work stuff#literally what the fuck#my legal name is only for coworkers who met me before i was one work month old#how DARE you???#and i don't want to talk to this hr person about it#cuz like. from what I've heard from approximately everyone so far is that she kinda sucks as a person#so my current method is just catching the newbies the MOMENT i hear them and correcting them#and most of my newer coworkers will do this too but less polite lmao#the cashiers will put on their bitch voice and go 'you mean grem??? you mean fucking grem???'#cashiers my beloveds you drive me insane but you always have my back#and my sword
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