#i havent forgotten about these ive just been too busy with other stuff

[typhwosion]

Happy Birthday, stretch.

(not late cos i drew it last night ;3 )

☆*:.Commission info, socials, etc  .:*☆  

[wychive]

𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨

summary // you found your pile of ‘letters’ to hyunjin that contain thoughts that have never been said and decided to write to him one last time.

pairing(s) // hyunjin x gn!reader, hyunjin x oc, slight minho x reader

genre(s) // angst, letter fic 

warning(s) // mentions of food, themes of being forgotten, vulgar wording, humiliation, overthinking

word count // 2.0k

author's note // happy birthday @noya-sannnn​ !! im sorry this was so late hhh you know how i am irl,, but i hope you enjoy this! i love you so much, jane <3 i apologize for the many grammar mistakes gn. i recommend listening to iu’s ending scene while reading this! btw y/n/n means your nickname.

[10/01/14, 3:55am]

dear jinnie,

hi there! it's y/n <3 i hope you're doing okay - i mean of course you are pfft anyways, just writing this short letter (more like paragraph)  sort of as a venting mechanism? for things i cant tell you about lol  im not so sure how you would call it, since you're so much better at words than i am. basically were like:

hyunjin: ow a brain freeze!

me: haha brain go brrrr

anyways haha yea <3 it's 4am so like,, ill see you at school!

signed,

your loser,

y/n/n

[15/02/14, 12:34am]

yo heartthrob!

im back with this kinda stuff haha it's been a whole? week? since ive written one of these so like yes..hi! i just wanted to say thanks, for today. you really know how to cheer me up huh? you really outdid yourself by setting up that little picnic for us. congrats on making the strawberry cake so perfectly <3 this day will always stay as a core memory in the back of my brain. you're too caring sometimes,,, istg you'll pay for this [maybe hugs?] >:) 

signed,

your partner in crime,

y/n/n

[30/02/15, 01:29am]

jinnie-senpai~~

LMAO you hate me calling you that, doesn't change a thing though. hehe,, nways i hope you enjoyed your birthday present :) i got you that really cool skateboard that you wanted. i worked my ass off for that in my mother's garden so like,, you gotta thank me for that a thousand times :D nah jk, its a sincere gift, from me to you. i rarely do this for ANYONE so consider yourself lucky to have a best friend like me -3- also, seungmin is like….kinda the cutest person ever. introduce me to him pls, thank!

signed,

<your bestest friend3,

y/n

(p.s. you're kinda cute too,,,, ig,,, still stinkee tho)

[13/04/15, 9:04pm]

hey 'baby' (HAHAHA ihy for this)

i hope your day was okay! i didn't see much of you today (which was sort of a bummer but wtv) so like…. uh yea. you told me you were doing okay over text, which kinda surprised me because like?? we always video call lol this is kinda the first time,, but its okay, i trust you! (i really hope youre doing alright tho, i'll beat anyone up if they make you sad >:( ) you also called me 'sweetheart' today which was like…. omg wtf haha????????? that was so weird to me for some reason… a good kind of weird :D we haven't done those kinds of nicknames in a while so…. happy to know that they're back in session <3 i talked to the new girl today, she's really cool! like she knows the bean song on tiktok so like its a total win heh, ill introduce you to her tomorrow! you'll love her a lot

signed,

your 'lover',

y/n/n

[08/06/16, 10:23pm]

hey howl (hehe go back to that movie night we had)

this spring break sucks so much,, esp because youre not here (you still couldve brought me along :'[ ) but wtv i hope youre enjoying yourself. ive been hanging out with yeonnie lately and i found out she likes conan grey too like pls i love her sm. can we adopt her?? please???? she told me you guys have been video calling too and that makes me so happy!! you two are getting along so well aaa my precious babies </3 

what if you developed a crush on her? haha…..jk unless?? (no jk dont shes all mine, stay away >:) ) anyways, i hope the three of us hang out soon. maybe go to that ice cream parlour where they serve the best cookies and cream?  

signed,

your daisy,

y/n/n

[19/07/15, 01:23am]

peepee poopoo hello

heyheyhey!! (heh, haikyuu thingz) i hope youre doing okay! i mean sure you are, with everything going so well. also i feel like you're not telling me something. maybe it's just me? is it? i hope it is because you tell me everything,, we've been talking less these days but its okay! i know how busy you are, especially with your dad always bugging you,,

also, i think yeonbin likes you :0,, she keeps talking about you whenever we hang out. don't get me wrong, its not bad that she likes you but...something doesn't feel right. i feel like i'm being the third wheeler here and like ugh idk. haha laughs yea i think its just me.. im sorry, i didnt mean to do you like this,, anyways, ill see you soon + her too ofc- yall are inseparable lmao

signed,

your moonlight,

y/n/n

[23/07/15, 01:56am]

greetings, kind sir

lol more like mean sir but like aight KSKSK,, anyways,, how have you been? we haven't really talked in a while,, our convos are always so short with it being one-sided :/ i wish you were online more. yeonnie is ignoring me,, do you know why? i think you do,,, but when i asked you just said you didnt know. did i do something wrong? pls tell me.. 

she blocked my contact the other day and she won't even smile at me when i pass her in the hallways. its,, sad and stressful especially because she was the only one that would genuinely talk to me. i hate to say this,, but i miss you. us, hanging out like the best trio we are, yknow? but i dont think you miss me the same way. sorry, im getting out of hand. i know im just overreacting. im just gonna sleep ig,, good night! sweet dreams,,

signed,

your pink lemonade,

y/n/n

[25/07/15, 03:25am]

hi there

i heard you and her got together?? congrats, jinnie! im so proud of you,, especially because you never had even considered getting a girlfriend a few months earlier lmaO you really woo the ladies huh? anyways,, i hope you've been well since we last talked,, how many days has it been?? i would say nearly a week or so but honestly it feels like a hundred years,, considering you and i used to talk every day. but you have her now to keep you company.

keep this a secret but can you possibly tell me why it hurts when i see her? or when i mention her or even think of her?? is it because she's connected to you? but.. you're my best friend, so why? is it because i miss you? is it because im alone now? is it because you left me with a simple 'i have to go now,, bye y/n/n.'? im not sure either. im being silly, i apologize. ill figure it out sooner or later. sweet dreams, jinnie

signed,

your asswipe,

y/n

[25/07/15, 04:30am]

jinnie

it's because i love you. 

signed,

your butterfly,

y/n

[??/08/??, 05:??am]

you

i miss your lame jokes. i miss your smile. i miss your laughs. i miss your funny faces. i miss the way your eyes twinkle. i miss th way you would make me happy just by doing the bare minimum. i miss the disaster you made when cooking breakfast. i miss the night when you snuck me out just to go to that pretty lantern event. i miss when you would call out my name everytime we met. i miss when we would share earbuds in train rides. dont you get it, hyunjin? i miss you.

[??/??/15, ??:??am]

asshole.

please tell me that isn't true, please. you're too kind to do these kinds of things, right? + i was your best friend,, then, why, why did you hurt me like this. i didnt do anything wrong.. you couldve just told me you didnt like me,,, why did she have to tell me? out of all people. 

youre so pathetic for this,, i thought you were brave, bold - but youre just a fucking coward. i loved you, i really did. and i realised too late… im sorry. she,, i shouldn't have talked to her in the first place, right? i bet you knew she humiliated me, in front of everyone. of course you did, you were the only one that knew. you told her. fuck, i hate you so much (yet why do i long for you on a night like this?). you know how much that'll affect me and yet, there you are, laughing about it with her.

signed,

fuck off,

you know who i am.

[31/08/15, 03:41am]

ah, jinnie

please tell me this is just a nightmare. please, please. stop just reading my texts, please answer them. jinnie. i miss you so much. i dont care bout her, please just let me be in your arms. i dont care if you love me back, please just talk to me at least. tell me what i did wrong,, jinnie,, please,,, clear these tear stains on my cheek with kisses.

signed,

your fuck-up,

y/n

[15/09/15, 04:59am]

jinnie

why do i keep crying because of you? its been a few weeks since everything has happened. please, nothing has changed. i still love you the same even with all the hatred i have pent up in this stupid brain of mine. i wish i could just walk back in time, to where it all began.

when i first met you in third grade and you pushed me while playing soccer or maybe when we took those ridiculous prom pictures, remember those? i hope you still have them,, because i do too. i hope the pictures of us on your wall still hang there,, it'll remind you of the happy times. hm,, maybe you don't need them. 

you already have millions of pictures with you and her,, i bet you printed some and replaced those with ours right? sly dog. 

signed,

friend,

y/n/n

[04/02/16, 12:57am]

hey

i went to the park today and saw both of you being happy. it's nice to see your smile again. im sorry i didnt go up to you,, i just thought it would be awkward. when i heard that adorable laugh of yours, it made me realise that i lost something special. but it's okay isnt it? as your happiness matters more than mine. 

signed,

y/n

[06/01/20, 08:00pm]

dear hyunjin,

im doing fine here. how about you? gosh,, how long has it been? years? since we last talked to each other. i havent heard from you since. i would just like to say i still think of you sometimes, when watering the plants or dancing while making pancakes. sometimes i think you're here with me too, just being the pals we were. 

sometimes i'd see you out, just reading a book in the park or buying pasta sauce at the grocery store. it's nice to see you having a stable life. im not sure if you're still with her or not, but its good to know that you still have that large friend group. also! you're never gonna guess who im dating--

it's minho! do you remember him? the one that i used to hate,, uh yeah. he asked me out the other day- you may wonder how tf,,, i too do not know how tf but he gives the best hugs ever. he gave me the love i wanted from you. he stitched my heart back together after it broke,, i love him so much, jinnie..

it's snowing,, do you remember when we would skate on the frozen lake in front of your house? are your parents well? i wonder if your mother still has those earrings i bought for her birthday. i never told you this but your laugh and hers sound so similar. 

i would just like to say thank you, for everything. you were a big part of my life, up until now. when we see each other after this, we would just be strangers. maybe flash a little smile or give a little wave whenever we greet each other but nothing more. some memories of us would flow in every now and then but it'll just be a short teaser. well, i'll be going now. smile for me, okay?

signed,

the one that loved you the most,

y/n.

taglist // @/noya-sannnn, @crvgio​ , @neo-shitty​

reply to be in my gen taglist!

[parappa-and-lammy]

hey! I'm a big fan of ur art n story!! do u like any other artists n fic writers that do parappa stuffs?

:DD !!!! Ohhh thank yoouu!~~ 💝💖❣️💓💕 it makes me super happy when people drop in goin ‘hey btw i like your arts and story’ since it says Hey People Havent Forgotten About Me 100% Just Yet

and Yea! mmmmm artiiistss… any artists i like have migrated off of Tumbles pretty much. and ehhhh ive kinda distanced myself (whether intentionally or Others Involvement) from the ‘community’ here

but Fic Writers!! mmmm yknow its been a while since it updated but

i still like LiPT! (hhhh nervous about tagging but. @trevorthewriter the author has a blog dedicated to Parapple stuffs, less active since the site has ehhh) its pretty much the main fic that is the lifeblood of any Parappa fans out there…  especially the ‘community’ on here. They certainly love Some Chapters in there.

*Cough*.

BUT ALSO THIS ONE:

Rocking To The Sound of my Heart! (hhhhhhhhhhh @thebizarrebabylon be here on tumbles as weeelllll) i have yet to post any arts for it!! Which is a total shame, because i think that its great!!!! And there are some parts i Very Much Like because Of Course I Do Why hasnt anyone else done any arts for it yet. It GOOD. i gotta catch up on it though…. i got busy with school and then fell out of readin it for a bit for whatever reason

,,,,,,,,,*cough*

And for just one last fic: A New Contender has Appeared! It shouldnt be any secret i love Steven Universe, and a SU/PTR crossover fic has appeared on AO3. It seems silly but iunno. I love it anyways Ive been dilligently reading and waiting for the next update… it looks heckin promisiinnggg ❤️️🧡💛💚💙💜

All 3 are on AO3 too!~ Thank ye for askiinss~~ 💗

[alicedoessurveys]

45 Questions

1. What would you consider your favorite holiday? Why is this? christmas! I love the excitement of the lead up to it and I love Christmas Day with the family. also love that for that day almost every shop & business is shut for the day, theres just a nice atmosphere

2. When did you last fight with your significant other? Single gal here. I feel like I always will be. <same gurl

3. Do you do any special workouts to stay in shape? performing in stage shows. with the rehearsal/performance schedule you just dont get time to eat and also its usually quite physical stuff. the last show I did I actually lost 2 stone over the 2 months of rehearsals and show run!

4. If you’re a girl, do you have big hips? Too big? bigger than id like them to be but not too big tbh

5. Do people tend to call you by any certain nicknames? normally al. grandad calls be Ali bong. my sis calls me bongy or bonga. my best friend calls me Chinese 

6. When was the last time you had alcohol? What kind? last night, couple gin and rose lemonades with my sis

7. When was the last time you talked to your father? literally like 2 seconds ago he’s sat the other side of the room to me right now

8. What are the last four numbers of your phone number? I know the last three are 225 but I cant remember what comes before that, I think its 4 🤷🏻‍♀️ my number is very similar to my moms so I get them mixed up all the time 

9. Is there anything / one you’re losing faith in right now? myself, but then again I never really had faith in myself 

10. When is the next time you’ll eat chocolate candy? probably tomorrow

11. Is there a day you’d just like to forget? Which one? the fact that I cant think of any right now means I have already forgotten 

12. Are you someone who takes too many surveys? well I have a side blog dedicated to them so ya

13. Girls, do you think you look good in dresses or not? no

14. Do you have a whiteboard in your room to remind you of things? no I just have post it notes and notepads everywhere so I can write stuff down quick when they pop in my head 

15. When was the last time you used a Kleenex? Why? this morning, because I had to blow my nose

16. Do you prefer surveys with long or short questions? I like the questions that provoke long answers

17. Have you ever taken a pottery class before? no but I really want to!! 

18. Do your parents treat you like you’re still a child? sometimes yeah, but tbh its usually when I need to be treated like a child

19.Who is your significant other and how did you meet? non existent 

20. Do you talk to people out of the blue? not if I can avoid it

21. What was the last nightmare you had about? Anything odd? I dreamt I was at church and it was full of balloons and the kids knew im scared of balloons so they were running around me and throwing them at me. I know that doesnt sound like a nightmare but it still woke me up in a panic 🙈😂

22. Is your life basically based on deja vu? Or, not so much? yeah kinda, feels like it a lot 

23. When was the last time someone dumped you? never

24. Can you recall your eighth birthday? What was the cake? are you joking?! I cant recall the cake I had for my last birthday 

25. Do you feel like you’re losing someone close right now?  no

26. What color are the buttons on your remote? black

27. What is the one stereotype people label you as most? I think people think im rude or stuck up but actually im just stupidly shy 

28. Can you count how many lovers you’ve had on one hand? none

29. Do you like dark chocolate or white more? What about milk chocolate? milk is favourite, then dark then white 

30. Who makes you the most angry in your life right now? the UK government and the people complaining that they want a second referendum 

31. How many times have you seen Star Wars? Be honest. never

32. Can people normally tell your mood, by your facial expression? if they know me well then yes

33. What was the last number you pushed on your phone? I dont remember 

34. Do you like flowers? What’s your favorite kind? sunflowers

35. How many grades have you failed in your life? ive only ever failed one exam which caused me to fail the whole class because lifes not fail deal with it 

36. Do you own a car? What car is it? I do. its an orange smart forfour, the old shape not the new shit shape that looks like any other boring car 

37. What is your favorite show to watch on television? currently obsessed with Umbrella Academy

38. What are the initials of your last ex? havent got an ex

39. Are you someone who can easily keep a secret? yes

40. Do you understand algebra, or have you ever? nope nope nope 

41. Do you or have you ever had a problem with going barefoot? yeah I dont like it, I need at least socks on. I hate walking barefoot on grass or sand and I refuse to go in the sea without shoes because I got stung by a weaver fish when I was a kid

42. What is one thing that tends to freak you out? human interaction

43. Have you been swimming so far this year? How much? I have not 

44. Do you ever think you’re being cheated on? im single

45. When was the last time you painted something? a few weeks ago I was painting tiny dollhouse furniture 

[thetruegarbagecentral]

Well here we fucking go Its 1 1/2 hours till midnight n i almost threw up on my laptop twice. i Don’t dare to leave my seat tho bc i dont think i can handle the sounds of fireworks outside. My chest feels like its getting cavd in. I feel so fucking lonely rn holy fucking shit. Like my friends celebrate today with each other or their partners or familys when I asked if something is planned they said no. I mean i dont blame them they often hang out just the two of them bc theyre super close and I love that for them and it doesnt bother me  But im sitting here all alone at home and it usually doesnt bother me?? like christmas i was also alone but i was fine And then i met my sister when getting groceries and we talked a bit how shes gonna have people over n all and suddenly out of the blue she was like “are you tommorrow all alone??” And i said yes like where would i be otherwise?? my friends are busy themselves or spending time with family But then she gave me such a pitying look. and suddenly me spending new years by myself feels like a failure on my part. Like i deserve to be lonely or smth not that she invited me to come over for a bit or anything. my brother asked ages ago but then i thought me and my friends would do smth and i only now remembered that. So now its too late to get over to him I avent showered and im not dressed and all my clothes r wet bc i did laundry and i feel like ive been forgotten or smth

noone owes me to look after me like im a kid or smth. but christmas and new years noone asked me to come over to their place... I spend the 24th with my brother and his family bc they asked weeks in advance bc they wanted to spend time with me. but they left for his wifes family that night they even asked me if i wanted to come along. My brother and his wife are the only people who activly give a shit about me in my family but my brother is... not the easiest to talk to and spend time with My sisters cried when they found out last year that i selfharmed but they never again checked on me not once

they have kids they are busy i know but i feel forgotten as soon as im not a problem in their face anymore im invisible and when i actually try to spend time with them i get waved off I have to invite myself sometimes even tho i hate it like i message them if i can come over for a bit to talk Bc my apartment is so small i cant host any people i dont even have a table so i have to invited to peoples homes to spend time with them and it ALWAYS feels forced and clumsy and i wanne leave again  I’m just the annoying broken one of this family Happy fucking new years to me i guess

another year of being the sibling people gossip about bc shes broken and cant function another year of barely skipping a shopping addiction bc buying stuff makes me happy another year of learning and being the 3rd best in class and still feeling like u failed bc you havent been the best Hope your night is better then mine

[askullandbones]

Hi, thx so much... ugh, where do I start? I hope this doesnt seem too open or anything. Basically, Ive been having some problems with my best friend. Were both in 2nd-year uni and we go to school in diff cities. Weve been close since we started high school. And I love her, and shes usually my goto person to talk to or shoulder to cry on. But the thing is, shes much more social and Im not. She was my only friend in high school and while shes still closest with me she had others. (1/?)

Now in uni she still has tons of friends and I haven't really been able to make any. We havent rlly drifted apart but our convos are mostly limited to FB texts. Shes now rooming with another friend & I just have this crippling fear of being replaced. Bc it would be so much easier for her. And sometimes she does things that are sort of weird. I feel like im always shifting plans to suit her needs. She doesnt respond to half of what I text her. (2/3) (3 is the limit I promise, so sorry!)

Ive also begun a big Undertale fic and Im super excited about it, but even tho I've started posting it she doesnt seem to want to read it, she said she might someitme "if she has time" & "if shes bored." Which hurts. I tried to talk to her abt all this stuff last year, but she seems to have... forgotten. & I feel so bad & dont know how to deal with it, much as i ❤ her i dont always like the way she treats me. Its so hard to tell the line b/w actual worry and bein whiny. (3/4 sorry!!!!)

I know she has her own stuff going on and I try to be there for her but its so hard. Parts of me have stopped caring about her stuff as much as I should which I KNOW is awful of me as a friend, like when she told me the girl she loved didnt love her back, stuff like that, and I just dont know what to do. My loneliness has gone into hyperdrive basically, and its very confusing. Am I just being self pitying? Any advice would mean so so much to me. (4/4 I am SO SORRY for spamming you with this)

Wow this got long. Gonna put it under a cut.

Hey. Hey? First, deep breath. This might seem like the end of the world, but it isn’t. Trust me.

When you reach this point in your life your whole social dynamic is going to shift into what I’ll call ‘adult friends’. When you went to school it was super easy to make friends (or easier than it is now), because you were put in a small group of people your age and you were basically forced to interact. You might still have some of that in college, but it’s much less forced. The things that held you together with your peers isn’t really guaranteed as much to be there anymore.

First thing you need to tell yourself is that friends typically don’t get ‘replaced’ when you’re older. At least, not if you’ve stopped acting like a kid. Most of the time the friends you had in highschool are just gonna... drift apart. It happens all the time and it’s natural.

And while I can’t relate, I know a lot of people just have a large circle of friends they talk to about various things. Each friend has a different appeal. It’s not so much ‘replacing’ as it is ‘adding’.

Now I won’t speak for your friend, but from what you do mention about her not being flexible and not responding to texts, it could be a whole host of things. Maybe her schedule is just super rigid. Maybe she just forgets to respond to your texts, especially if she’s got about five different other people she’s talking to. Maybe she has nothing to say. Unfortunately these are things you’re probably going to have to talk to her about if they’re bothering you. Friendships thrive on communication.

As for her not getting into your fic... it might hurt? But try not to let it bother you.

When I was getting into Undertale and back on the writing bus I did the same thing with a friend of mine. While she’s always been supportive, she never really wanted to read it even if I asked what she thought, and after awhile I realized it just wasn’t something I could really engage with her back and forth with. She just didn’t know what to ask, didn’t really want to read a subject she knew very little about.

It hurt a little at first, but then I just realized she didn’t have the same interest in it as I did. I just sorta pushed it to the side when it came to talking to her even though it was such a big thing in my life. Instead of saying “I’m working on this Undertale fic omg you wouldn’t believe what--” I’d change how I worded what I wanted to say to be a little less restrictive. Instead I would say “I’m working on some writing and these characters are being--”

See the difference? The second is much more inclusive to someone who has no idea what the fuck Undertale is. They can still engage. I can’t force her to enjoy something I do just like she can’t force me to enjoy something she does.

And no, you are not being self-pitying. You’re worried about a friendship you cherish. You’re worried about how your friend treats you. You’re worried that things are coming between the two of you. You care enough about this friend that you don’t want to lose them, but that also means you’re going to have to work on it. You’re gonna have some awkward, intense moments coming up even if they’re scary.

You gotta be brave.

What you need to do is think. Think about your friendship. You mentioned that you think she treats you bad sometimes. Make a list of the things she does that make you feel bad. Can’t come up with an answer as to why she might do these things? Ask her. Bring it up. It’s scary, but if she values your friendship she’ll listen and you two can work things out.

But friendship is a two-way street. There are ways you can improve too. Find interests you share. Try not to feel bad when she doesn’t like the same things anymore, you’re both starting to grow up and get different interests.

Set boundaries and stick to them. You say you’re always shifting your plans and not the other way around. Stop. Put your foot down. Say no, you can’t shift these around. Don’t bend to her whims all the time. Set a hard line. She will work with you and bend her own plans too if your friendship is valued.

Most importantly though, as scary as it is, don’t be afraid that you two might just be drifting apart. A lot of friendships end after highschool and most of them aren’t because of fights. They’re just... from drifting apart. It might seem like you won’t find more friends, but you will.

I’ve been friends with the same girl since I was a teenager. She lives in Canada. I love her so, so much. When I got a divorce and she started college again we kinda just... didn’t talk much. We used to talk every single day but we didn’t anymore and that bothered the fuck out of me. I thought we were drifting apart, and in a way we kinda have.

She has a boyfriend she plays games with a lot, games that I don’t enjoy. I like to roleplay and write and play games that she doesn’t enjoy. She’s busy as fuck and I’m absolutely incompetent at conversations half the time. We don’t have all the same interests anymore and sometimes we go a full week without saying a word to each other, and we both realize things have changed a bit, but it hasn’t changed how we feel about one another. We still love each other a lot.

College is when you’re going to start to realize that, maybe, a lot of your friends you make are gonna be online. Chatrooms. Games. Writing. Roleplaying. They’re gonna scatter the globe. I have friends from Canada to the states to Indonesia and Germany. I visit the friends within an hour of me maybe... once or twice a month. That’s fine with me. It doesn’t bother me much. I talk to one friend I had in highschool maybe... once every... three months? I don’t hate them, I just don’t have much in common with them anymore. It happens.

But I should wrap this up.

Breathe. Take a nice, deep breathe. This isn’t the end of the world even if it’s scary and you wish you didn’t have to deal with it. You’ll survive even if the outcome is the worst thing you can imagine.

Friendships change over time.

Communicate your feelings.

Evaluate your own role in the relationship and if you need to make some changes too.

Set hard boundaries.

If you need more advice, I’m here.

[jellothefish]

im so late but i love answering questions

tagged by @argyraspide AND @kvothes

how to play the game: - answer the 11 questions from the person who tagged you - compose 11 questions of your own & tag others! 

Rey’s Questions:

1) What do you seem to collect, intentionally or otherwise? i like mementos of things although then i panic about having too much stuff but i have a large bookshelf at home filled with shells and rocks and trinkets various people have given me. i also keep a folder filled with notes my friends give me so i can read them when im sad

2) What’s your favorite form of visual art? for me to do? oil pastels. smudgy smudgy. to just look at probably sculptures. i love detail work oh my god

3) Top 3 vacation ideas/locations i really want to go the lauterbrennen area of switzerland, i would absolutely love to go somewhere in southeast asia again and see more but i dont know a whole of places, and lets top it off with hiking in the andes

4) What’s the strangest memory from your childhood? im gonna say when i maybe hallucinated a tunnel on my playground and went exploring only for it to disappear the next day

5) How would you describe your ideal personal aesthetic? i actually have a photo series i did on this but its really lame in words. i just want to do things and see more and have long roadtrips and chilly nights around a campfire and whatnot

6) What do you consider your best skill or talent? im good at planning things :/

7) Academic superpowers: Would you rather be able to memorize every word and fact of a paper (book, powerpoint, etc.) so long as you read the entire thing, OR would you rather be able to teleport instantly to any class with all relevant material and wearing an outfit of your choice? teleport please i walk so much

8) Top 3 favorite sounds thunderstorms, my friends laughter, rain

9) If you could choose one instrument to master, which would it be? honestly i havent thought about my lack of musical talent in so long. idk. bass or drums i guess

10) Does pineapple, a known fruit, belong on pizza??? oh no my friends are gonna fight me. like i dont like it but ill still eat it probably

11) What’s your spirit animal? i once did a decent art project and so i did a lot of research for this and went with fox

Hodgessssss’ Questions:

1. vincent van gogh or pablo picasso? van gogh! i really want to go to the museum in amsterdam 2. if you could change your middle name to anything, what would you choose? i wouldnt want to change it its very important to me 3. which song from a musical best describes you? oh no now ive forgotten every musical ive ever seen. also ive just never thought of it like that before, i associate moments with songs usually. let me know if you have any ideas for me! 4. have you ever torn pages out of a book? why? if i have it was absolutely by accident. i once accidentally smashed my copy of fablehaven in a door and cried for a couple hours. the corner is still dented. 5. what is your favorite line from shakespeare? honestly the first thing that pops into my head is the classic “what, ho” in everything because im actually 13 6. what was the last thing you wrote? i dont really write a whole lot anymore. i was never satisfied so i mostly stopped doing creative writing (unless you mean anything and thatd be my lab report) 7. what was the last poem you liked? i really dont read a lot of poetry so im gonna go with the one you read me like ten years ago in the diag (im so sorry these are all non responses) 8. do you have a favorite work of art? if so, which one? no different works of art strike me in different ways. im always a fan of dutch golden age art although the piece i used to consider my favorite im no longer as in love with anymore. 9. would you rather have a portrait or a sculpture done of you? lol sculpture 10. would you rather live in a library or a museum? museum i love museums and because im a sneaky asshole- many museums have libraries in them 11. what is your opinion on sunlight? i like it when you can pull it close to your chin like a comforter but my delicate blue eyes are wimps

oh my god some of these were tough my dudes

anyways here’s my questions:

1. spring or fall and why 2. whats something that you always wished you did but never have? 3. warm water or cool water (like lakes, oceans, etc) 4. what do you wear for the first snowfall of the year  5. do you have an iconic piece of autumn wear that you cant wait for it to be chilly enough to wear  6. do you function better when busy or when you have a lot of free time? 7. sunlight through leaves or sunlight through windows 8. are you a picky eater or a idk what this is but it tastes good person 9. do you have plants? 10. do you want plants?  11. have you ever plant-sat for someone for a set period of time only to find out that apparently youve just adopted their plants now???

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i suck at tagging people and most people id tag have been tagged so sorry bout that @dolokhovisgay @kvothes @crow--child @phonecallfromgod @argyraspide and anyone who wants to really

[fluffi]

i think it was because god's menu was released around the same bp and svt made their comebacks. same thoughts tho on gm > bd and i was also glad that bd got the wins gm didn't. and same with the streaming mvs while studying : ] ahh, the easily distracted people we are. (reading cut and litol font bc poor ppl who see this on the dash TT)

i've heard chinese ballads (usually osts of films and from a chinese friend) and their songs really tend to tug on my heartstrings. i hope sm gives shotaro more stuff to do soon :[ with some of the units being active and sungchan being an mc on a weekly show, it makes me wonder what he's doing. do you think nct will form a new subunit?

no, i'm not lactose intolerant so it really took me by surprise. it was a one-time thing. hopefully it doesn't happen again. i can't really say i'm a big fan of ice cream but it's good occasionally yk as a treat to yourself. and ahhh, i miss drinking smoothies. my favorite stall has been closed for nearly two years now, idk if they ever re-opened since our city mall burned down :[

i think it's an nct thing? it's why i never get tired of them bc they're always active in a way. you should've seen how things went down last year! march 127 album, april dream mini-album, may 127 repackage, june wayv album and the whole nct 2020 thing. it was a wild year. about the track, i listened to it once and forgot about it. might give it a few more listens but it might not grow on me at all. yes! wasn't a big fan of hot sauce at first too bc i thought the intro was weird (not jaemin's part, like the first thing that plays). and yes, that hook loops in my head 24/7. i even made it my instagram bio.

stray kids world domination indeed! and i agree that their performances were really impressive (specially the deadpool one, best one yet) but sometimes i would fancy ateez' more. i didn't watch kingdom too bc it stressed me out as a multi. always caught between being happy for one group and being sad for the others. and atz and tbz! you're still getting into nct and you're thinking of adding 19 more boys! judging from what i know your taste in music is, i think you'll like tbz's music better since there are a lot more soft songs there than in atz. but do give both discographies a listen in the future!

oh izone! i've only heard of them at music shows and dance choreo compilations bc of them being in sync. they're really satisfying to watch! i thought their title tracks were catchy as well! quite unfortunate that i never got into them really. but again, i dont think i can handle stanning temporary groups.

i'm starting to see a pattern in your biases :D i wouldn't be too surprised if you'll be drawn to jeno at some point in your dream venture. dream is soooo easy to love so if you really end up ulting them, i would understand why. and also, YES PLEASE WRITE FOR DREAM AND TAG ME IF YOU WILL. THANK YOU ><

thank you! :c don't get your hopes up tho, the masterlist must've been interesting to browse but are the fics truly worth it? XD i think not. since you already know koe, i'm reccing users @/rouiyan, @/nsheetee and @/loonacitys. i don't have that much fluff in my ficrecs blog. i think, i've heard of lvdsc before (maybe even read a fic or two) but i can't find their blog now. be careful in privating your works, you might end up losing them forever if you don't keep track of their links...(?) that's what happened to the works that i privated :/ take me with you if you move blogs ;n;

seungmin frequently left updates abt what he was doing, left good nights and good mornings, the occasional i miss you. he called fans 'baby' once. not sure if it was a mistranslation, or really just a one-time endearment. other than that, nothing beyond the usual. seung vlives always make me cry ;n; he always look so adorable and precious. also the gif, the fic was more on fake head-butting really but yes you could say it was also a fake nose boop bc it sounds cuter. i'll make sure to tag you on future seung content on the dash. (time to officially claim him as your ult, yes. dont make him secret anymore :3)

sorry it took me a while. tumblr went batshit. the ' werkl;' stopped working midway and i got busy with school yesterday. also haechan birth today and i'm so emo abt it. it's literally just a boy turning 21.

little font and cut saga lets go!!

(just kidding, i cant do little font typing for long periods of time, makes my eyes go beserk haha.)

true true, im afraid for txt on music shows now because theyre going against some big names (literally bts like whatj jsdf what was hybe thinking). yeah, streaming mvs while studying aka watching mvs on loop lmao. i still want to stream skzs final kingdom performance on instinct but i remember that theyve already won!! hehe

ah chinese ballads always make me emo, i like to scream out lyrics to the songs at the top of my lungs and sit there on the verge of tears. its a cultural thing maybe *sobs*. ooh, what show is sungchan mc-ing in? ill check it out. i thought sm would make nct japan for sungtaro (i heard sungchan speaks japanese) so it was a shocker when they made...nct hollywood lmao. given the current circumstances we're probably not going to get a new subunit anytime soon :( hopefully taro will have stuff to showcase during that period of time.

burned down?? oh my, what happened to your mall? that sounds terrifying. i remember when the front of my school caught on fire and we were all ushered out but we thought it was a drill and didnt find out till years later lmao.

oh true, since theyre such a big pack too. constant comebacks and promotions haha, nctzens never catch a break with 23 members. i listened to the new track again (ive forgotten the name already) but i cant- i cant do it. its just not my style hhh. i rewatched the mv for the godly visuals though. i dont know if youre talking about that 'bibididibibidiododo' part by that female morphed voice at the beginning of the song, because i wasnt a fan of that too. it grew on me though.

same, actually! im not an atiny and dont stan any other group in the show besides skz but i watched each groups performance and ranked them haha. at times ateez would rank over skz, it was wild. also yeah, my other multi friend was freaking out about kingdom and ended up abandoning the show because she was so scared of the fanwars and having to deal with her 'conflicting feelings'. about the stanning thing, in my defense, i have a list of groups i want to stan and ive recently added tbz and atz. the list is long, i have a long way to go! also yeah, i dont prefer ateez's songs and i have a bunch of tbz title tracks in my playlist but if i approach their discography like i did with nct then i think i would like at least five songs.

izone are my queens. theres a reason why theyre the only girl group who made it to my ult list haha! super talented and filled with variety and visuals, a perfectly concocted group (literally, sobs in pd48 scandal). ah, temporary groups. yeah i cried about their disbandment for like 3 days straight, it was bad.

a pATTERN?? INTERESTING. DO ELABORATE. jeno, oh my gosh hes like bang chan. an intimidating-looking bear whos actually filled with love and softness on the inside. im currently having a jaemin run though, his make a wish fancam is doing some wacky things. also yeah, dream is really easy to love. i fell for them so hard, theyre all talented and cute and adorable and the team ambiance is so nice. really rising up my stan list now. i mightt write for dream! ill have to see, hehe.

personally i think the fics are going to be worth it. i can feel it in my boOOnes. ooh, recommendations! fun :D ill check them (and yours) out after i finish this 30k jisung fic. ive been trying to finish it since yesterday but i keep getting sidetracked. also, i made a mistake. its luvdsc with a 'u', maybe thats why you couldnt find it? ahh. thank you for the privating tip though! will keep in mind. and of course ill take you with me if/when i move blogs. we're friends now! <3

SEUNGMIN CALLED STAYS 'BABY'???!!@)(@#*()! I SHOULDVE BEEN THERE ASKDFJDF. im exciting for the fake nose boop drabble!! i love soft couple moments hehe. also yeah maybe its time to make him my ult...hes going to have to compete against jake my beloved ope.

dont worry about being 'late' or anything! we all have our own stuff to do. also yeah tumblr is weird asf sometimes. if you havent realized i typically answer longer asks around the same time everyday, when i get to sit in front of my computer and pull out my clickity-clackity keyboard. super relaxing.

AND YES HYUCKIE DAY!!! HES SO ADORABLE HONESTLY. im in love with all seven members of dream, my fic rec blog is currently filled with fics for them haha.

[personal-latenite-thoughts]

my life is shit

i have a lot of things i want to say so i think im just gonna come right out and say a few things that are on my mind right now. first, i just heard my dad talking about fitness and its like...yeah i obviously want to work out and start getting rid of all this excess weight ive put on since high school. clearly i want to do that, but what he doesnt understand is that i dont work the same way he does. i can just get up and go for a run or bike like he can. right now, i need to be in the right mindset which is rare bc im never in a “good mood” anymore, all i want to do is lay down and wallow in misery and just embrace the depression, but if i do that it will just make things worse for me. im just stuck in this endless cycle and i honestly dont see a way out of it anytime soon. and hearing him constantly talk about how i “just need to do it” under his breath really angers me bc he doesnt know what im dealing with. and im not just going to tel him bc ive heard way too many times that he doesnt care what i have to say or tells me its an excuse, so now all i do is bottle things up and dont let people know what im really struggling with, which sucks, but thats the reality im living in and im comfortable with that. but i just heard him tell my sister that hes in better shape then my sister and i, which he probably is, but constantly telling us that and having ever other word out of your mouth be about fitness and “how much sugar/salt is in this” it get very overwhelming but i know he doesnt care. he says he does but i can tell he doesnt, he only cares about us doing what HE wants us to do. its his way or the highway. another thing that i dont like is everyone telling my i need to get a job as if i dont know that. ive been tying to get a job for years now, and everyone is telling me no. so of course ive been taking breaks from applying bc 1 i need some of the applications to expire before i can apply again and 2 i just want a nreak where i can do the things i want to do since i never have the time to do that, never actually had time to just be a kid since like elementary school. anyways, i hate that they keep telling me this as if ive forgotten, i havent, im just waiting to hear back from them, and a lot of the times, they never reply back, not even to say no thank you. and of course im going to be picky with the jobs i apply to bc i want to make sure that if i do get the job, ill actually want to do the work required, otherwise, why take the job. but my main problem is that all these job places what people with experience who are young, im “young” but have no experience so they skip over me. and mow that im in my 20s its harder to get a job bc i have no experience, but i cant get the job to gain experience if i have no experience in the first place. so thats a never ending cycle. but my main problem would def be my father. he just makes me so miserable. always has to have his nose in my business, and always giving unwanted advice. and always telling me about all the stuff he does for me that he dosent have to do or is only doing it “bc im his daughter”. like, did i ask to be born? did i tell you to have two kids? no so stop trying to guilt trip me so i will do what HE wants me to do. and the fact that hes always dangling the fact that he has a job and house over my head is a real dick move. like way to make me feel bad about myself that i cant support myself in this economy atm. now to talk about my sister. she has the biggest ego like ever. always wants things to be on her terms, only looks out for herself and wants things to be for her. and when she does do things for other people, its so she can dangle that other their heads later on. like, she constantly tells me that shes help me out with things so why cant i do this one thing for her, but this one thing is way different compared to those things she has done for me. and now that she has a job she just has to rub that in my face and use that as an excuse to just be mean for no reason. bad enough she hits/messes with me for no reason, just a real pain in the ass. she acts just like my father. my mom doesnt really do much so theres not much to say about her, she just sits back and lets father do all the dirty work. and then they both talk shit about me behind closed doors when they think i cant hear. this whole family is awful really and i know that when i eventually move out i wont look back.

[matsunjun]

HELLO So I haven't updated in so long bc well been crazy busy during and after AX. But let’s spare all the details on that one, and just go straight to the most recent crazy adventure I had.

It was a Tuesday afternoon when I arrived to work at the Westminster branch. I was scheduled to work there from 12:15pm to 9:15pm. Not the best shift at a not so best location, but I learned to deal. As soon as I got there, office was not going well--Loopy (I now call LG that bc she’s loopy), had barely started diamond testing, when manager, LMD, was looking for the register. Loopy had forgotten to take it out, probably bc she was busy training new girl, so I brought it out for her. Then it clicked--this means she hasn’t counted Buy Gold Cash/Check or the registers. So, I did that for her. Next, I went through the emails and saw there was a transfer request from Home Office, so I got started on that. I found all 9 items and already started the whole transfer, when LMD got a call from DM, Mr. J. He was asking for me to go help out another branch in San Clemente. I have no idea where tf that was, and thinking it was nearby, I went ahead and said okay. 

Anxiety started to creep up on me as I asked LMD how far it was. She told me that she was told it was only 30min, and I was like oh ok, that’s basically how far I drive to this branch. But as I mapped it...it was.....30min by freeway...by local streets, it was about an hour and a half. INSTANT REGRET AND PANIC. LMD knows I don’t take the freeway, and so she told me to make sure to charge for mileage. I cry. So as soon as new girl returned from lunch, I took off. I set it on my GPS and began the travel there. It was local streets, so it was well and good UNTIL...WHERE TF DID THE CITY GO?

like NOOOO THIS IS A NOOOO BAD IDEAAA. The whole time I was panicking to WS, and joking for him to just come pick me up at work (and he actually said ofc, what time u get off?). And he said he’d pick me up, Uber to his car, then go home--which was ridiculous so I told him no and that I was kidding. The drive there was long and I was freaking out so it made me extra tired.

I finally got to the branch, and met 2 Sales people. They had no office and immediately showed me a receipt they printed---in landscape. They managed to fix it after several tries, and I saw the bundle of receipts lol. I tossed it bc they didn't need it. I went to my break shortly after I got there bc well---I was technically working since noon, and it was around 3:30 when I arrived there. After break, I did my best as an office person to get them all caught up on paperwork, emails, etc. Apparently they've only been open for 3.5 weeks, but their manager was on vacation and their office manager was on an 8 day vacation, too. I was like uh who tf would do that to a brand new store? it makes no damn sense. Anyways, at the end of the night, we were packing up and the salesperson I closed with, PGS, told me I packed the stuff better than others who have come to help out--even managers and district managers. That gave me a bit of an ego boost lol. :>

Anyways, on the way home was when shit hit the fan lmao. It was a long way home....in the dark. boiiiii BOIIII. I was so fucking terrified. I was at the highway, a lone car going 60-66mph on a winding road. Like I recorded that shieeet

NOOO MAN U SEE THAT? The furthest ive driven was 26min local street. THIS WAS A HUGE JUMP AND WAY OUT OF MY LEAGUE. In the video I was actually whimpering but hahaha. And ANNND, my music turned off and my gas light went on at this time, which FREAKED ME OUT EVEN MORE. Because I don't know where I am, I don’t know when I get back to fucking civilization and get to a gas station. What if I ran out of gas right there??

My fear/anxiety got so bad that I start to feel my body get paralyzed. My hands started feeling numb and started locking, so did my legs and my stomach area. WHICH MADE ME FREAK OUT MORE bc how can I drive like that! I drove faster hoping to get out of nowhere and hit a city. Once I start seeing other cars and little places, I immediately put a stop on my GPS for a gas station. I was legit crying at this point, hyperventilating, even. I made it to a gas station--one other car, no convenience store/people (which also scared me), so I had to pay in card. $30 gone for a full tank. As soon as I got in the car I just rested and called WS bc I was too scared and I don't have music as bg noise. He stayed with me til I got home. ;__; Which was at around 10:14pm (I left work at 8:30pm).

never aGAIN MANNNN NEVER

AND I STILL HAVENT GOTTEN THE STARTING HOURLY PAY I ASKED FOR HMPH

Today (well yesterday), Mr. R said Mr. J was telling him that he commends me for my hard work and for helping out at Westminster and I guess San Clemente, BUT WHERE IS THE PAY RAISE.

ALL THESE MANAGERS FROM ALL THESE LOCATIONS BE PRAISING ME AND SHIT BUT I AINT GOT NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT

/SIGH

IM TIRED