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warm blood
FULL FIC HERE.
The sound that escaped Rooster’s lips as you dragged your nails through his unruly sunkissed curls had you cackling. “Rooster Bradshaw, you need a girlfriend,” you decided.
“I don’t need a girlfriend; I just need to get laid,” he protested, realising how pitiful he sounded and then adding softly, “Please don’t stop. That feels so fuckin’ good. It’s like the most physical contact I’ve had in...” his eyes fluttered closed and took a deep, satisfied pull of his beer. He didn’t want to admit how long it had been since someone had touched him like that.
Continuing to press your fingertips into his scalp, his shoulders dropped, completely melting in your touch. “This must be the longest dry spell you’ve ever had,” you reckoned quietly.
“Feels like it,” he said dismally.
“How long?” you dared ask.
“It’s goin’ with me to the grave, don’t ask stupid questions,” he muttered in reply as you hide your grin with a sip of your beer. He turned back to you and made a face; he’d let pretences lie. “Maybe you’re right, I just need a girlfriend.”
“Rooster, you have no trouble finding someone to fuck… why are you off your game? Why don’t you go drag all the single ladies in with a song or something?” you suggested, hoping to perk him up. He shook his head. Honestly, he didn’t need to sit at the piano to have all eyes on him. At any point of the night, you’d look up and find some poor soul caught staring.
“Naw,” he didn’t feel like the spectacle tonight.
“Want me to wing woman for you?” you offered. “Babe on the other side of the bar. Tall, curvy...” you chewed your own lip.
“You’d do that?” he asked, honestly touched.
“Of course. I can’t deal with you when you’re being a whiny little bitch. If it means you get your cock wet, I’m here for you, pal.”
He laughed quietly as you asked him how you looked. He gave you a once over and frowned. “Beautiful, but are you trying to get laid, or am I?”
"I swore off your kind, any kind, as a New Year’s resolution. I want the year to myself,” you grandstanded, and he chuckled.
“You’ll be begging for sex soon enough,” he straightened, glaring at you out of the side of his hazel eyes and took another long slug of his beer.
“I’ve got toys, I’ve got fingers,” you reminded him, reaching for him with grabby hands as he bit back a grin and leaned away from you.
“You fuckin’ deviant,” he joked. It was untrue, but he loved to tease you… and you loved when he teased you too.
“Hey. If I want to find someone to share my time with, I won’t hesitate to break that resolution if I need to. They’re made to be broken anyway,” you shrugged casually.
He nodded, not disagreeing. “I’m sick of my hands,” he muttered as you took the hand that rested on his quad and cupped it in your own. You didn’t know why, he brought it up and they were just there begging to be held. He laughed quietly and gripped your palm back. “I just miss the warmth, you know?”
Putting the back of his hand to your cheek, he laughed again. You gave him the eyes, and he sighed.
“Don’t start. Knock it off immediately.”
“No, tell me exactly what you miss. Tell me what you need.” You settled in. You would love to know what turned Rooster Bradshaw on. He wasn’t like the other guys – he kept his conquests quiet. Lowkey. Sure, you knew when he was in the game, he made no secret of his intentions. But gee, he always seemed more complicated than an easy fuck kinda guy.
“You don’t need to hear about any of that stuff,” he rolled his eyes and retrieved his hand, stuffing it back in his jeans pocket. “Trust me, you’ll be just like me soon enough.”
“Look, if you get to a point you’re absolutely desperate, blue from top to toe, I’ll drop my standards for a night and give you a night you won’t forget, okay?” you tried to bite back the laugh that bubbled under the surface. You weren’t surprised he gave you the bird in response. “You’re just lazy. Go lay a line on any woman in here, and I guarantee, she will be putty in your hands.”
It seemed like such a nut-up or shut-up order, Rooster knew he had no choice but to follow through. Standing to his height and adjusting to his posture, he muttered, “Fine,” he stole your fresh beer as you protested and wandered over to the gorgeous woman, who if truth be told, was exactly his usual type, you’d pointed out only moments earlier. Well, what was expected to be his type - that glint in her eye that told him he wouldn’t have to work too hard to get her number either. He had a rule that one-night stands were never at his place. He’d rather sneak out than kick someone out. Win-win really.
#wip#rooster#rooster x reader#bradley bradshaw#bradley bradshaw x reader#rooster bradshaw#bradley rooster bradshaw#i haven't proofed this
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Oh a little fluffy gold puppy looking up at the scary man in the portrait their father keeps in his office... 🥺
#own art#own characters#CanisAlbus#art#artists on tumblr#Machete#anthro#sighthound#dogs#canine#animals#Vaschete lore#hhh well I haven't finalized Vasco's and Ludovica's kid's designs yet#but I doubt either of them would be very fluffy#this is more like a proof of concept#a placeholder child
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"spence?"
"hm?"
"when did you get home?"
a more awake you would be squealing, thoroughly excited he came home early from his trip, but the early hours have hardly begun to bring light and you're struggling to even open your eyes to look at him. your cheeks still widen into a pleased smile though, turning into his warmth and humming, confused, when your hands find the rough fabric of his coat.
"a few hours ago," he says, voice rough, eyes still shut. one arm across his eyes, blocking the minuscule light, the other a vice around your waist. his voice is slow, deep in his chest, caught on the sleep he obviously wishes to keep. but he still turns his face toward the sound of your voice, smile creeping up at the corners of his lips, willing to entertain you despite his fatigue.
"are you still wearing your shoes?" you ask, voice teasing, scooting up in his arm to nudge your nose against the curve of his jaw. you press a kiss there, the point where his bone hits a right angle, lips tingling from the stubble you find.
"no," he says, voice honest, "i know better than that."
"no shoes, but your belt is still on?" you tease, fingers dragging across the leather. you don't care, not beyond a genuine concern for his comfort, but you enjoy teasing him in this way, skimming your lips across the rough skin of his chin in not-quite kisses.
"i took my gun off," he complains in a half-hearted groan, lifting his arm to peek at you out of the corner of one eye. "hi," he says, voice still soft, somehow deeper with affection, dimples the star of the show on his cheeks.
"hi," you say, tilting your head back and lifting your arm to cart your fingers through his mess of hair. "welcome home."
he smiles, reaching around with his other arm to gather you up and drag you across his chest in a bear hug, chuckling at the squeal you let out, sighing against your hair. he presses a firm kiss there, right above your ear.
"we will have to wash the sheets, though. it was really gross for me to not change, i was just exhausted, sorry."
#bubbs.writes#criminal minds#cm#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds x reader#fluff#x reader#not proof read#as always#and im sick#so dont jusge me#i feel like hes a little ooc#but that might just be bc i haven't written him in so long#i feel out of practice#i hope u enjoy tho#early morning cuddles#fluff no plot#established relationship#spencer reid is a good boyfriend
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Basically, my philosophy around disability fakers is: I would rather a thousand people fake a disability than have one disabled person suffer without care, aids, compassion, or any help.
#disability#disability advocacy#and there's a difference not many people seem to recognize between faking and realizing you don't have [x] problem...#...such as realizing you don't have [x] disorder because it is instead [y] disorder...#...or you haven't completely understood your care needs/your symptoms/what helps you...#...and some people see ANY change in your understanding of your disability as proof of maliciously faking...#...when i suppose in my personal experience people don't *maliciously* fake disability...#...i'm not saying it could never happen but that i don't think it's the *only* thing motivating people called fakers#i just think (like most everything) this is complex and nuanced because it's a *human* experience#like for me personally i /know/ i still have a lot to learn about my disabilities...#...like... i realized recently that my hands shouldn't be in AGONY when warm water is ran over them when it's SLIGHTLY cold inside or out...#...and i realized that i likely have a Noticable limb difference that needs checking out. does this sound like i'm faking...#...or that maybe i just didn't really explore my own needs and body because of a variety of factors?#i can assure you it is because i haven't really thought before about how i deserved to understand how to best help myself
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Mark You Pretty (Homelander x Reader)
My brain saw this post and ran with it. Homelander bruises you. 13k words, Homelander x GN!reader (Warnings for bruising, mild Sadism/masochistic play)
The first time Homelander bruises you, it's an honest mistake. He didn't mean to grab you that hard. Not really. Sometimes Homelander forgets how delicate normal people can be. It had been a reflexive thing, snatching you about the arm just above your wrist as you reach over him to gather up the handouts from the meeting.
"Leave it," Homelander mutters with eyes still fixated on the stack of papers set before him, gloves creaking as he briefly tightens his grip on your arm before releasing you. The small gasp you make as you withdraw doesn't penetrate his concentration. He doesn't notice how you rub at your arm, expression pinching up while stepping away. You're another faceless worker bee and Homelander has no time for you. The meeting is over and you shuffle out with the other nameless non-supe Vought employees. His attention is back to the paperwork in front of him, mind buzzing on how to handle the downswing in public opinion on The Seven. You're forgotten as Homelander turns back to the task of being Homelander.
He doesn't even register that he hurt you until the next day. It's the top you're wearing that does it. Long sleeved and out of season, which draws his attention to you for the second time this week. He registers the blooming bruise peeking out from under your sleeve when you bend over to offer handouts about the table. He blinks, clocking the imprint as a mirror of his gloved grip. There's no guilt associated with this realization, simply an understanding of the connection. He did that to you. Homelander marred your pretty skin with a bloom of purple where he grabbed you. Suddenly, it's satisfaction that's coiling in his gut. He likes how you wear his mark.
For better or worse, now he notices you.
Homelander lets his eyes wander up your arm, snagging briefly on your ample chest before flicking across your face. You instantly look away, unable or unwilling to meet his gaze. Cute. He smirks as he takes you in. You're a charming enough little thing. A bit too skittish for his taste, but the bruise he left on you keeps drawing Homelander's eyes back over and over again.
For the entirety of the meeting, Homelander lets his attention wander to you while his eyes roam your form. He's shameless with the ogling and never looks away when you catch him at it. No, he's only further pleased by it. He makes sure to catch your eye as his lips curl up and part slightly, his tongue poking at the corner of his mouth. That gets a blush across your cheeks and you're quick to break eye contact. This only amuses Homelander further and galvanizes him to find further ways to unsettle you throughout the meeting. You are his distraction to make this presentation a little less dull.
The meeting ends and Homelander puts you from his mind once more as soon as you walk out the conference room doors. You're nothing but a passing amusement, something to play with at the next meeting perhaps. He's already letting the image of your blush and the bruise he left on your skin fade from his thoughts before something catches in Homelander's ear later that day as he strides down the hallway.
There are many curious sounds within Vought Tower and Homelander has heard plenty. People whispering secrets across phone lines and into ears. Muffled moans of employees sneaking off to empty conference rooms or even broom closets for salacious rendezvous. The one that catches him now? It's soft, more a quiet exhale with a moan undercutting the sound. He blinks, pausing to look towards where the sound came from. It's your office Homelander finds himself standing outside as he cocks his head to the side. He watches you as you sit at your desk, clearly not thinking yourself observed. X-ray vision lets him watch as you press two fingers into the bruise he left on you, teeth sinking into your bottom lip to hold back that noise. You moan again all the same, your enjoyment evident as your face twists into a brief flash of pleasure.
Oh, isn't that interesting?
Now Homelander's fascination with you ignites. His eyes seek yours constantly throughout every business meeting the two of you find yourselves in now. He's prone to stepping too close and invading your personal space whenever Homelander comes across you, which has jumped in frequency. He even has the gall to hook his pinky on the sleeve of your shirt one day, tugging it up enough to check if the bruise is still there. By then the purple has faded to a duller, splotchy green. His mark is almost gone and Homelander finds he doesn't like that one bit.
The second time Homelander bruises you, it is very intentional.
He's bolder the second week. Homelander deliberately holds you back after one meeting with a flimsy excuse. Those massive doors ominously shutting close after everyone else has filed out. Now you're trapped inside the conference room with him. It makes your pulse skitter with terror, which is an utter delight to Homelander. He can smell the fear off of you. A heady scent that stirs a primal need within him because it's mingled with your arousal as well. That fact alone has a smirk on Homelander's lips as he approaches you, hands clasped behind his back and under his cape as he leisurely strolls over. Normally, such posture would be non-threatening but on Homelander it's anything but.
It's a terrifying sight yet compelling. Homelander is ever the perfect superhero in looks. Vought's true golden boy that you and countless others privately swoon over in the break room despite his reputation. yet even you have learned that Homelander isn't the squeaky clean supe he's portrayed as. The looming trial only adds further credit to the rumors that circulate about him. Still, it's thrilling, and you may be a little too into the danger Homelander represents. You can't help the anticipation coiling in your belly as you watch him stalk closer.
He traps you there against the wall, shifting as he places a palm flat against it. You stare at his chest as Homelander slides his hand down, lifting it to cup your chin to tilt your gaze up to meet his own. "Er, you wanted to talk sir?" You manage to push the words out, flushing at the tremor in your voice. He smiles and those too sharp canines flash. You shiver, eyes wide as you meet the clear blue of his gaze.
"You bruise easily, don't you?" Homelander muses, his hand on your chin shifting to stroke down your cheek before moving to your neck. Electric heat shoots up your spine from the chaste caress, the leather of his gloves smooth against your skin. His fingers curl around your throat as you feel his thumb ghost over your pulse point. Your breath hitches at the subtle threat but then he's sliding his hand down to tighten his fingers about your shoulder. Homelander digs his thumb in just below your collarbone to the point of pain as he watches you intently.
You hiss in response, eyes squeezing shut before you huff out a sound. It’s not a pained noise. An echo of the sound he’d heard by chance last week. He eases up, a knowing look on his face as you open your eyes again.The scent of your fear lesses, while your arousal fills his nostrils. You like the pain. He smirks all the wider while leaning in to ghost his lips over your cheek.
"I didn't mean to hurt you." Homelander rumbles out, breath a hot caress against your skin. For the other day or just now? You don't know which he's apologizing for and there's not much time to ponder over that because Homelander's lips are against your own in the next breath.
His mouth against your is Homelander's sort of apology, more for him than you but you enjoy it all the same.
#Homelander#Homelander x reader#homelander x you#Homelander Writing#lil masochist reader~#he's making that face in the gif for CERTAIN#I had an idea for a third mark but you guys will just have to imagine finger marks on hip bruising#a bitch is tired#I didn't proof read this#ENJOY IT RAW BB#I haven't forgotten my gazillion drafts and fics and asks#I just am...a finicky creature
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Strictly professional showering (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Alphys#Gaster#''Do Monsters even have showers-'' shhhhhh. Let me have this#Lol#And to think I made this because I Actually wanted to draw him miserably taking a shower!#Probably unsurprising but this was a shower thought lol#I knew as soon as I started thinking about the differences in Snowdin vs. Hotland's temperatures and what that might do to the water-#It was too late! I had to make something about it all my doodles are secretly just a way to smuggle unrelated headcanons out lol#Pipes bursting in Snowdin probably would be a problem for at least like kitchen sinks :0 Need reinforced cold-proof pipes haha#I haven't gotten to Hotland in my current playthrough but there was also the water cooler wasn't there!#Only Waterfall convenient to take showers in lol#ANYway so distractable lol#Gaster doesn't feel even a little bad asking favours lol casually waves it away as ''It needs to be done so it's fine''#Aren't you worried about being an inconvenience! No he's not lol#And obviously Alphys doesn't mind hehe ♪#Alphys is the best because basically no matter where you drop it in the timeline she's always going to be awkward and thirsty lol#They've known each other for a few months? They've known each other for a few years? Alphys will still swing-and-a-miss lol#She's really cute heck I gotta practice her more ♫ Curves! Love drawing curves#Really what were you expecting - why would he come out before he's dressed? This isn't his house it's not like he can just wander around#He brought everything in with him that he needed! Silly#If skeletons are fluffy do you suppose they shed? Would she find skeleton fuzz on one of her towels?
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“I’ve never used a gun before,” the hero swallowed, mouth dry. They had never needed to, but now—
The villain’s head lolled over to look at them. A lazy grin spread across their face.
“Don’t worry,” they held the hero’s gaze, unflinching. “I have.”
The gun went off. Across the room, one of their enemies dropped, blood splattering against the wall.
Still, the villain didn’t break eye contact, content to shoot without looking. They hit their target every time, but still—
“Can you please look where you’re pointing that thing?”
“Why,” the villain tipped their head, and that shit eating grin was back, “Am I making you nervous, hero?”
The hero grimaced as the villain sent another target sprawling onto the floor. Surely they had to run out of ammo eventually?
When the hero didn’t respond, the villain laughed.
“Oh, I am. Well, that’s adorable, frankly.”
The hero flinched at the next gunshot, and the villain nodded their head towards the hero’s gun. “If you were to—and bear with me this is a crazy idea—help me, this would be over with way faster.”
The hero looked down to their gun, shifting it side to side in their hands. It didn’t look all that hard. Point, aim, shoot. They could do that, right?
They lifted their gun, aiming at the nearest combatant—
The villain slid to a stop next to them, tsking, and their hand settled onto the hero’s gun too quickly for them to see. “Not-no not quite like that,” they hummed in the hero’s ear, and though they couldn’t see their face, the hero knew they were amused.
The hero’s jaw clenched with irritation.
“First,” the villain murmured, far too close, “Safety needs to be off.” They clicked something on the hero’s gun, repositioning the hero’s hands as they did. “Second,” they continued, and the hero shivered. “Don’t aim at me, love. You like me too much to kill me.”
“You’re awfully sure about that.”
The villain half rested their chin on the hero’s shoulder, batting their eyes. Their free arm jerked up, firing a shot behind them at someone who had evidently gotten too close to the two of them.
“I am,” they grinned. Their hand rested over the hero’s once more. “Now, aim,” they guided the hero’s hand towards the nearest enemy. Their finger slipped over the hero’s on the trigger. “And shoot.” They pulled down on the trigger, trapping the hero’s finger underneath theirs, so when the gun fired, they fired it together. The hero winced.
It was louder than the hero had thought it would be.
Across the room, the body dropped.
“Good,” the villain praised, voice low, and something stirred in the hero’s chest. “Again, love.”
They guided the hero through the motions once more.
By the time there was no one left to fight, the villain was staring at them with a look they couldn’t decipher. It was all encompassing. Hungry. Wild.
The hero cleared their throat, and the villain smirked like they knew what the hero was doing.
They eyed the hero, still with that look on their face.
“God, you’re pretty with a gun in your hand,” the villain cursed. They stepped closer. The hero didn’t move, holding their breath as the villain wiped a splattering of blood off their face. “Pretty covered in blood, too, but that might be a bit too insane for you, hm?”
The hero’s face went hot. It wasn’t, they thought. They wanted to kiss the villain so badly they worried it might be a sickness, twisting their mind, something terminal. But still, that smile—
The villain stepped away. They scanned the hero’s blushing face, and grinned harder at whatever they saw.
Gently, they took the gun from the hero’s hands, vanishing it behind their back.
“The next time you need someone to show you how to shoot, give me a call,” they nodded towards the hero’s hands. “I wouldn’t want someone else touching my hero, now would I?”
The hero couldn’t stop the smile that spread across their face.
The villain winked, stepped back, and was gone.
My hero.
Oh, the hero was well and truly fucked.
#writing#writing community#creative writing#snippet#heroes and villains#writblr#hero/villain#hero x villain#gun#death mention#flirting#flirty villain#fluff#or at least#angst#the broken pen#im sorry I haven't posted in a while school is absolutely kicking my ass#everyone said this year would be easy because 'senior year is so light' you fucking liars I am drowning#also I wrote this like two weeks ago at three am and then I sent it to my friends to proof read#and yk they forgot#they only read it today because I locked them in my car while I pumped gas#well actually only one of them forgot#the other read it and then forgot to tell me their opinion#also send me writing asks#please#send asks#I am waiting for this one college acceptance letter that is supposed to come out between now and the fifteenth#actively shitting myself over it tbh its my top school and like sure ive got twelve safeties but I want this one.#ficlet#fic writing
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A Curious Mind
summary: Hunter has always treated you slightly different and Omega is determined to find out why
word count: 2.1k
!reader goes by she/her pronouns!
The bright suns of Plurax make you wince, your arm instinctively coming up to shield your eyes. Shuffling out of the Marauder, you’re about to follow Echo down the steps when a hand suddenly appears in front of you.
“Oh!” you abruptly stop, almost colliding with it. Looking over to identify the owner of the hand, Hunter comes into view, an amused smile playing at his lips.
Already on the ground below, he stretches his gloved hand up to you, offering some support as you exit. You give him a grateful smile “Thanks Sarge”.
Slipping your hand into his, Hunter gives you a small, reassuring squeeze and you continue your descent down.
You’re not sure why you were so surprised by the action, after all, this isn’t a rare occurrence. In fact, it’s the opposite. Whether you have to jump a few feet from a ship or simply walk down a landing platform, Hunter always offers you his hand.
Every. Single. Time.
Once your feet reach the ground, he nods his head and reluctantly lets his hand fall from yours. His grip on his helmet, placed neatly underneath his other arm tightens for a moment as he wonders if he should have said more to you.
Oblivious to Hunter’s internal worries, you walk over to the rest of the batch and listen to Tech’s recap of the plan.
Turning back to the ship, Hunter taps the command panel and watches as the Marauder begins to close. Sensing eyes on him, he glances over his shoulder to the rest of the batch, only to realise none of them are paying much attention to him.
Casting his gaze downwards, his eyes meet Omega’s, who peers up at him curiously.
“Why do you always do that?” she asks.
“So we won’t get raided,” he shrugs as if the answer is obvious “or worse, if someone sees a ship like this unlocked, they’ll steal it and get a few thousands credits for it, especially with the amount of upgrades it has”.
“What? No, not that” Omega rolls her eyes, returning Hunter’s ‘that should be obvious’ tone.
When Omega says your name, Hunter’s eyes go wide, his posture becoming stiff as she elaborates “You always help her off the ship… why?”. His eyes flick over to you as Omega talks, hoping you didn’t hear her say your name.
Thankfully you’re too busy listening to Tech, who’s explaining your part of the mission to you.
“Just to be nice, I guess” he mumbles his response, trying to keep his voice low.
“But you don’t do it for Wrecker or Tech or Echo… hey, you don’t do that for me either!” she exclaims, a tinge of annoyance in her voice.
Hunter shakes his head, his mind turning to mush as he tries to think of an easy explanation “Well, that’s because you don’t need help getting off the ship”.
It’s like he can see the cogs turning in Omega’s head, already cringing at his answer as she questions “... but she needs help? She can’t get off the ship if you don’t hold her hand?”.
Oh Kriff.
“Well, no, that’s not what I meant-” he starts but Omega quickly talks over him. “Is she not good with balance? Is it like how Wrecker doesn’t like heights?”.
Before Hunter can form a response, Wrecker loudly interrupts them, the mere mention of his fear getting his full attention.
“Heights?!” Wrecker repeats, drawing everyone’s focus to Hunter and Omega. Throwing his head back, Wrecker lets out a whine “Oh please tell me this mission doesn’t involve heights”.
“Plurax is a relatively flat planet,” Tech interjects, his eyes still fixed on his datapad “and considering our main objective is to extract the bacta pods found in the small medical facility, I doubt heights will be involved”.
Wrecker lets out a sigh of relief, his shoulders deflating. “Phew, you almost got me that time, Hunter” he chuckles.
Hunter nods, hoping to quickly brush past this entire situation. “Right, well let’s get this over and done with” taking his helmet from underneath his arm, Hunter places it on his head.
“But what about my quest-” Omega starts but Hunter cuts her off, acutely aware that you as well as the others are still listening “Later, Omega. All that matters right now is the mission”. With a sigh, she nods her head.
***
After successfully retrieving the bacta pods, the Marauder is quiet… for once. The hum of the ship speeding through hyperspace fills the silence as everyone gets some much needed rest.
Peering out of her room, Omega holds on to Lula the tooka doll as she scans the bunks. Wrecker sleeps in one, his arm obscuring his face and thankfully muffling his snores. On the other bunk, Tech is fast asleep and judging by the pile of blankets on the upper bunk, you’re asleep up there.
Tip-toeing past, Echo comes into view. He’s seated at the table, head resting on his arm as he mumbles in his sleep. Continuing on her journey, Hunter is the last person for Omega to see, his seated form visible when she approaches the cockpit. Slowly, she nears him.
From the corner of his eye, Hunter notices Omega, subtly watching as she quietly walks forward. “You should be asleep” Hunter’s voice cuts through the silence, making Omega stop in her tracks.
She sighs, giving up her attempt to sneak “But I can’t, I’m not tired”. Hopping up on the seat beside him, Omega keeps Lula close to her, curling up on the chair.
Hunter doesn’t reply. He knows how hard it is to go from being on high alert on a mission to being told to get some rest, adrenaline still coursing through your veins.
He remembers the first few missions he ever went on and how hard it was to rest, his senses too overwhelmed to even comprehend the idea of sleep.
“You did it again, y’know” Omega says, pulling his attention back to her.
“What?” Hunter has a suspicious feeling he knows what she’s talking about but he hopes if he feigns some kind of ignorance then hopefully she’ll drop it.
“You helped her back onto the ship,” she explains, some sarcasm in her voice as she teases “when we were leaving Plurax… she must have really bad balance if you have to help her all the time”.
Head dipping down, Hunter’s hair obscures his face. “Omega,” he groans “she doesn't have balance problems, it’s just… look, it’s better if you let this go, ok?”.
“But why?” she drops her legs down, leaving them dangle freely.
“It’s… complicated”.
“How?” she presses, shrugging as she mumbles “I’m just curious”.
“Yeah, too curious,” Hunter says with an affectionate scoff and shake of his head.
Trying to simplify it, Omega begins listing out “Earlier you said that you do it to be nice but you only do it for her, nobody else! She doesn’t need you to do it since she doesn’t actually have any balance problems, hmmm and it’s pretty obvious you don’t like it when people point it out”. Hunter grimaces the more Omega goes on.
Thinking out loud, she furrows her brow “I wonder if she notices, I mean it’s pretty obvious so she must have by now…maybe I should ask her”.
“What? No!“ Hunter is quick to sit on the edge of his seat, facing Omega fully “You can’t do that, that’s a direct order”. Despite his pleading look, Omega simply raises an eyebrow, knowing she’s got him right where she wants him.
“Okay, I won’t ask her,” she complies before adding “but you have to tell me why!”.
Hunter sighs. A part of him is impressed, equally proud of her determination as well as cursing it. Sighing, he avoids her eye contact as he tries to explain.
“Well, since she’s not… uh, a clone… I just want to make sure… that, um… that she feels welcome” yes, Hunter is making this up as he goes. It’s true, of course but not his main reason.
Omega is not convinced, her face the epitome of disappointment. Not giving in, she replies “Yeah, that’s nice and all, Hunter but I don’t think that’s why”.
Hunter’s body deflates, putting his face in his hands. Even if he wants to, he doesn’t think he can get the words out. This is something he’s never had to verbalise before nor is it something he’s had to admit to anybody.
With his face still covered, he hears Omega’s voice “Can I tell you my theory?”.
He doesn’t reply and yet Omega continues “I think you like her”. Hunter can hear her smile in her tone, removing his hands to confirm his suspicions.
Watching for his reaction, Omega beams up at him. “And I mean like like her” she adds with the wiggle of her eyebrows.
Hunter keeps his face still, unsure how to react.
“I mean, it’s not a bad thing if you do,” she shrugs, offering some reassurance “I think it’s kinda cute, especially since she like likes you too”.
He freezes.
What?
Judging by the stunned look on Hunter’s face, Omega explains “I overheard her saying it to Echo, she said something about her heart racing whenever you’re around and being paranoid over it. I didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing at first but every time you do something nice for her, she gets all lovey-dovey so I think it’s a good thing”.
“Lovey-dovey?” Hunter scrunches up his face, not quite believing what his sister is saying.
“Yeah, like this” clutching her hands together, Omega tries her best to bat her eyelashes as she lets out a comically loud sigh before giving Hunter a goofy smile.
With a grin tugging at his lips, he dismisses “I don’t think I’ve ever seen her do that before”.
“That’s because you always look away!” she exclaims “ooh, I’ll have to add that to the list; you’re really bad at keeping eye contact with her”.
He rolls his eyes but the idea that maybe, just maybe you like him too distracts Hunter from properly deflecting Omega’s addition to her list. Even the idea of their being some hope that you feel the same way is enough to send Hunter’s head spinning.
Yawning, Omega hops down from her seat “I’m just saying, it would be a shame if you both like like each other but never tell one another”.
Hunter stays quiet, though he knows she’s right. “Anyways, I’ll try to get some sleep, night Hunter” giving him one last smile, Omega leaves him alone with his thoughts.
Taking a deep breath, Hunter leans back in his seat, resting one of his legs by the command panel as he looks out at the whirling blue lights of hyperspace. Hunter closes his eyes, trying to centre himself. Only you could daze him as much as this and make it feel so damn exciting.
Were the signs that you liked him back always there? For a guy with heightened senses, he presumed he would have picked up on it… but Omega is right, he doesn’t exactly hold eye contact with you. And whenever he hears the loud beating of a heart when you’re near, he hurriedly assumes it’s his own.
Speaking of his senses, he can tell Omega is still there, hovering by the doorway. He waits a few seconds, giving her the time to speak but she doesn’t.
Hunter knows where this is going, presuming she’ll either ask him to carry her back to bed or try to convince him to get her a snack. He takes his time opening his eyes again, turning his upper body to look at her.
Hunter can feel his stomach drop. His body automatically freezing as if you won’t see him if he doesn’t move.
You give him an equally bewildered look, a twist of anxiety in your gut. “Can we talk?” you ask, the words coming out quieter than expected.
Hunter has one main question on his mind: how much have you heard? And yet he doesn’t ask that question, instead blurting out “But I thought you were sleeping?”.
Is that a question? Or a statement? Hunter has no idea, his brain utterly scattered.
You smile nervously. “I was getting ready to go to sleep,” you reveal “I was just in the refresher”.
Pointing to the door to the refresher, Hunter’s heart lurches at how close it is to the cockpit, knowing you’ve definitely heard everything.
Clearing his throat, Hunter nods “Yeah, let’s talk”. It’s better to talk this through now, while everyone else is asleep.
He isn’t sure how this will go, still doubtful that you could actually like him back. But there’s only one way to find out. Hunter gives you a small smile as you sit where Omega was minutes ago. Once you’re comfortably seated, Hunter takes a deep breath and begins…
#I haven't proof read this so apologies if it's kinda choppy#the bad batch hunter x you#star wars tbb#bad batch hunter#hunter tbb#hunter x reader#hunter x you#the bad batch hunter#tbb hunter x reader#tbb hunter x you#the bad batch reader insert#the bad batch fanfiction#sergeant hunter#sergeant hunter x reader#sergeant hunter x you
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Quick question, am I allowed to ask for a tally of how many life series people own cats to your knowledge?
If so, what is the ratio of cat owners to non-cat owners?
Sure!
Grian: 2 cats, Maui and Pearl
Pearl: 2 cats, Olive and Nugget
Scar: 1 cat, Jellie
Impulse: 1 cat, Luna
Martyn: 2 cats, Kiki and Pascal
Jimmy: 2 cats, Norman and Flick
Cleo: At least 2 cats, Atlas and Glados
Skizz: At least 2 cats, Ginny and Ravenclaw
Scott: 1 cat, Elle
--
Mumbo: Technically no cats, as Benji lives with his mom. 1 dog.
Lizzie and Joel: No cats. Sadly, Buddy passed away. 1 dog of course, Meri.
Bigb: To my knowledge, no cats.
Bdubs: To my knowledge, no cats. (Edit: 1 dog)
Tango: To my knowledge, no cats. (Edit: 2 dogs)
Ren: No cats, 1 dog though (edit: no dog cries)
Etho: To my knowledge, no cats
Gem: No cats. 1 dog, though.
---
Final ratio: 9/18 have cats, so right at 50%!
#asks#i'm putting mumbo down as no cats because honestly we haven't had a photo of benji in years#like benji is still his cat in spirit whenever he visits his parent's home i'm sure#but it's not like he's. actively a cat owner. he has kubo instead!#lmk if you have any proof of the others owning a cat! i would love to add to the roster
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The Veil | Chapter 10 | No Rest for the Undead
Chapter Summary: The Ghost Gang find themselves in a compromising predicament.
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Finally, a ghost with actual fingers for me to draw! :D
I am very tired, but so glad to finally get this baby out. I might hop back into the chapter tomorrow to fix some errors I may have missed, but for now, enjoy!
I am very, VERY curious over what you guys will think of this chapter.
#pmatga#pacman and the ghostly adventures#pmatga fanart#pmatga fanfic#the veil#ghost gang#inky#pinky#blinky#clyde#I haven't proof-read this as much as I'd usually do#its very late and I'm tired#I'll correct any mistakes tomorrow when I'm coherent lol
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it's so wild to look at s1!buck compared to s7!buck
#obvs he went from fuckboy to loveboy (rather quick but thats what happens when he realises he wants something bad enough)#which can be paralleled to his bisexual speedrun in 7x04 and 7x05 and also a bit of 7x06. but i'm actually#talking about how he went from the big strong selfless hero protector archetype for abby (but also as a firefighter identity) in s1#to s7 where he's being taken care of in his relationship with tommy and being prioritized by his partner (who also happens#to be a firefighter) which is new and wonderful but there's also no imbalance of care; tommy is open and honest about how he#feels and buck meets him with open honesty in return - they meet in the middle! - it's just so cathartic for buck's storyline to see#how much he opens himself up to love in s1 and yearns to be wanted as much in return but it doesn't happen (and continues not to)#but with tommy he finally has someone who wants him just as much in return- and moreover we see buck being himself (evan!)#with tommy which is so freeing that he doesn't have to put on the buck persona: he can be goofy and dumb and vulnerable + needy#and tommy wants all of it all of him. i know we haven't seen much of their relationship so far and obvs they're still in the#honeymoon phase - which is why i'm so excited for the more settled phase of their rship (we saw a bit of it in the finale)#to see continued proof of them meeting in the middle. and also more instances of tommy caring for buck and wanting all of buck#but yeh just gimme more of buck being comfortably himself and all that means bc he feels seen and safe and wanted by tommy#.txt#parallels#evan buckley
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t*mmy the type of guy to call Eddie himself to "deal with" Buck and whatever he's got going on because he simply cannot be bothered to put any energy into the relationship
#this on t*mmy failing my vibe check#actually have an endless slew of suspicions ive been sitting on#that i haven't posted because there's not technical canon proof#and people are weird#/neg#but lowkey idgaf#might post all of them#share with the class my vibe check results#anti tommy kinard#anti bucktommy#buddie#911 8x05#9 1 1 8x05
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I can't do anything to help those in Valencia, but I at least want to say my opinion.
I don't live close enough to go offer my help, and I can't really donate right now. I don't have a car and I live pretty far away from the city, which is where the main points to collect food, water and clothes are at.
But I'm seeing so much help from the rest of the Spaniards. Giant amounts of food and water being sent that way, and an even bigger amount of Valencians or people that live nearby walking to the most affected places carrying food, water and clothes, and shovels, brooms, buckets and whatever they each had in their home that could be used to help. Seeing all those people, all those volunteers, helping is heartwarming. Good people do exist. Solo el pueblo salva al pueblo. Only the village saves the village.
I want to clarify all this people are going there walking or biking because they aren't use the roads to not oversaturate them.
Now, let's being. What has happened?
Before: The day before AEMET, the State Meteorology Agency, had been giving warnings and updating their social media and all that saying that this was big. But nonetheless, no official warnings where given by the state. School and work was all continuing as before. No kind of informative help was sent to the people.
During: Rain. A shit ton of rain. A years worth of rain in 8 hours. Even in the places with no rain the effects are catastrophic, the rivers have caused floodings, and the cities, towns and villages have all been covered by meters of water. I don't know how much. (I also want to say that I'm no expert, but why had it been allowed to build in certain areas?)
The water rises in minutes, is fast, and with no warning no one was prepared. People were off to work, continuing with their every day life, now trapped wherever the flood caught them. Many others had gone to their garages to try and get their cars out when they saw that they were starting to flood. And many people have died in them, trapped. Don't blame these people, no kind of warning of how big this was gonna be was given, cars are a very big economical investment for the families and, again, the water rises too fast to really do much.
Cars and all kind of big, sharp and heavy crap being dragged by the water. That water also contaminated (by what the river in itself had, the liquids that came from inside the cars and other places, and now by the decomposing organic matter), so those inevitably swimming in it were in great danger for many reasons.
Think about the animals too. Ah, and also, no light nor electricity while all this was going on.
I've seen people on social media saying how it all went for them. I'm not gonna say their individual stories, but if you look them up, you'll be able to find them.
Immediately after: The people went to different stores to try and get food, water and medicine. All this stores were already broken and had been affected by the floodings. And still some newspapers (you know who you are) were trying to put shame on this people. Yes, I guess some people could have used the commotion to steal from houses or jewelry stores or whatever, but it wasn't the case of what they were showing, and it's not what the vast majority of people where doing.
Many others were out looking for their missing relatives. Some started to walk towards the big city nearby, to find some help. The conditions of the streets were apocalyptic.
A bit more time after: What I've said at the beginning. The affected throwing out the things inside their house that were too damaged by the water. Still no food, water or electricity. The roads blocked by the residues of what the water had dragged. Lots of mud everywhere. And the good people going there to offer their help. To clean the streets and their houses.
More or less right now: Other parts of Spain and even other countries offer help and resources. That help is denied. It took too long for the military to be sent to this places, but they are advising the volunteers not to go help, that theres no need anymore and that they are making it harder for the "actual help" to go. Lies. There's no emergency services help, no policemen, firefighters or military helping. And not because they don't want to, the help they offer is being rejected, not authorized.
Cleaning all that mud is so hard. All the help is appreciated. With proper equipment and machinery this would be easier.
Who to blame: The government of Valencia. Some say the one from the whole Spain for not applying certain measures. If you follow the law, the one to ask for certain measures to be taken is the Government of Valencia. And changing the whole administration of a disaster in the middle of it is just not a good idea, even if it's going late, because everything would be even more postponed.
And what truly makes them the ones to blame, they CHOSE not to warn the people, but they had cut down the budget for the emergency services and gave it to bullfighting instead.
Now the number of deaths is around 209, but there are still many disappeared people.
If you don't want to blame rain on anyone (some are saying climate change, others are arguing back saying that this has happened before), at least blame how they handled it.
Blame Carlos Mazón.
The king, queen, president of Spain and president of Valencia have gone to one of the affected places, Paiporta. I don't know why they are there, they are obviously not helping with the manual labor and are not saying anything useful either. I've seen some stuff around, I don't know what's really going on so for now I don't say anything. But the people were screaming at them and throwing stuff.
Some days after I'm still not too sure what's happening rn in Spain lol.
#i haven't proof read this so there may be some ortogafic or grammar mistakes sorry#ill update when i can and whatever it is i hear but remember im not living there so my information is not the greatest#DANA#valencia#im updating this as the days go on#let's say its an alive post lol
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Sci beloved what do you think Peter and El's dynamic would be like?
el? gonna assume you mean eleanor... my darling... oh...
i'm honestly so obsessed with eleanor and peter's dynamic already - peter is just immediately fond of her. he just, he likes her right off the bat. she's charismatic, and brave, and peter knows it right out of the gate.
peter's so ready to sign those adoption papers. he loves eleanor already. she's everything that he loves in wade.
peter's perpetually in eleanor's corner - he's the soft-willed fun parent - if she can't get her way with wade, she'll run to peter and know that he literally cannot say no.
he thinks that means he's the favourite, but eleanor is a master manipulator just like her biological father and knows exactly who to talk to and what to say to get everything she wants. so if she knows she won't win with wade, she'll trick peter into her bidding. peter is but a naïve pawn in eleanor's games. he believes she can do no wrong, even though every ounce of wade wilson's wickedness courses through her veins. and sometimes eleanor double crosses peter. she has no loyalty. it shocks peter to his core, every time, but she's one step ahead of him, every time.
i can't wait for you guys to see how diabolical eleanor is going to be. oh my god. ohhh my god. see, peter and wade both have dormant supervillain potential within them that they suppress, but eleanor's supervillain gene is Active and she is a Horror.
#ask-spiderpool#wade and peter were both terrors as children and it stands to reason that eleanor would be too.#ugliest child ever. capable of such evil.#supervillain mastermind extraordinare.#i'd die for her.#so would wade and peter. and they have.#both of them have.#alredayd. and the adoption papers haven't even been signed yet.#what child can say my parents would die for me and they actually have the proof.#i kind of love that eleanor has that security. what with wade and peter both having abandonment issues that stem from childhood.#eleanor having these two super-parents who would do anything for her. oug.h.. wipes tears from my eyes.
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Six Sentence Sunday
Happy Sunday Everyone!! Thanks to @monbons for tagging me, so excited for the next chapter of your fic!
I've been having a really good week, I finished up all my finals and all my papers, and I moved all my stuff out of my dorm room—meaning I'm back home now and ready for summer! I have two weeks before my main summer job starts, so that means a lot of time for writing! And I've already gotten a start by having a super productive week writing-wise this week as well (finally got some solid work in on my COBB fic, turns out getting some vampire name inspo from @fiend-for-culture and seeing the first peek of the artwork really brought back all my excitement for this wip!!!)
I'm posting the newest chapter of Proof of Life tomorrow, which is one that I'm super excited to share. Unfortunately, this is the last chapter in my backlog, so I'll have take a small posting break after this, but that just means that if you haven't had a chance to start reading yet, you have time to catch up 🙃
But even more exciting news! I realized that I missed the 2 year anniversary of the first fanfic I wrote for this fandom! After reading all three Carry On books, I absolutely devoured fanfiction for probably around 6 months before ever writing my own. And the only reason I wrote anything was because I had a scene absolutely stuck in my head, and no one else had written it yet. So honor of being a month late to it's birthday, here are 6ish sentences from the first fanfic I wrote: Tense Silence (under the cut because this is already getting long):
“You’re a vampire.” says Simon. His voice came from above me. “You really are.”
I look up to see Simon standing, staring down at me. He has the Sword of Mages in one hand and the silver cross dangling in the other. It is very close to my face. I turn my head away. He moves the cross closer. I close my eyes as I smell the metal hanging merely centimetres away from me.
“You tried to bite me.” He says. “You really tried to drink my blood.”
As you can see, I started out the fandom almost exactly where I ended up—writing angsty vampire Baz fics. While there's some things that I would do differently now and a few noticeable mistakes (Simon's cross is gold not silver, Past Lily, get it right!), I'm still really proud of this fic. I remember spending weeks working on it and being very nervous to post this 6k fic, so it's definitely kind of crazy to look back it and see how much I've grown as a writer, and how many friends I've made in fandom since then.
Tags & Hellos!
@you-remind-me-of-the-babe @facewithoutheart @run-for-chamo-miles @raenestee @artsyunderstudy
@onepintobean @prettygoododds @noblecorgi @hushed-chorus @angelsfalling16
@thewholelemon @shrekgogurt @brendughh @a-maisie-ng @hertragedyconnoisseur
@beastmonstertitan @valeffelees @horsesarenotdeer @drowninginships @supercutedinosaurs
@fiend-for-culture @rimeswithpurple @cutestkilla @alexalexinii @ileadacharmedlife
@arthurkko @rbkzz
#no snippet from proof of life today :(#but i trust that you all are excited for the chapter anyway#and if you haven't started reading it yet you should!!#it's my favorite thing i've written so far!#six sentence sunday#tense silence#my writing#kind of crazy that about two years ago i had written no fanfiction#and now i have over 150k words posted#snowbaz fanfiction
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Carnations
It was beautiful, in a morbid way, that this would be the way you'd go. A botany teacher whose lungs were filled with flowers.
Author's note: absolute angst on this one, I won't promise tears cause different people sail different ships, but I can say that there is no happy ending, a good old character death which I suspect is over-described, and the illusory or not certainty of unrequited love.
You may do with this information whatever you please 💛
You'd always had a fascination when it came to flower diseases. Hanakanjō always seemed to you like the worst thing that could happen to a person, flowers sprouting from one's skin and betraying their emotions to others around them. In the end, you wish you could trade it for yours, it would be mortifying to burst into pink carnations every time Larissa walked past you, but at least you wouldn't have yellow ones choking you up at night when you replayed her words repeatedly in your head.
"I could never fall in love with an employee," she'd said, nursing what little wine was left in her glass.
"Do you think you could control it?" the question had nothing to do with your fondness for the principal, it spoke of how much of a romantic you were, actually, how tragic it would be if it happened.
She seemed to consider it for a while, before settling for "I'm fairly certain. I have no interest in falling in love and even if I had I would make sure to not harbour any feelings for someone I could not pursue. I wouldn't be so careless as to set myself up for heartbreak," her voice sounded sure and final. She finished her drink and inhaled carefully before eyeing your glass and seeing you'd also finished yours.
"I'm afraid it's rather late," she continued softly, "This was supposed to be a work meeting and I kept you for far too long," she paused, and you felt something tighten in your chest as you realized the conversation (and your lovely evening) was over. "Thank you for indulging me, though."
Larissa would never fall in love with a teacher. And you, pretty much a teacher and "one of the few she considered a friend", would never have your feelings reciprocated.
It was rather lovely, to be in love, and you discovered you didn't mind to love alone that evening when you left her office. It was really such a shame that your lungs begged to disagree.
The first time you coughed you were in class. You were about to explain to a second-year student how a certain plant could be made into poison and medicine depending on the situation or its handling when you broke into a fit. You hadn't caught a cold and no flowers were blooming quite yet, so when you couldn't stop for a whole thirty seconds you thought it rather odd.
The blood in your elbow pit once you finally stopped was also curious, but you carried on until all classes were finished.
Later that same day, you were at the quad waiting for a student who had asked you to take a look at his potted plant which he said didn't look so good. He had left class just a few minutes before and passed through the quad to tell you he would go to his dorm take the plant and come back in two beats but he was taking his time, apparently.
Distracted, you didn't notice someone approaching the table you were sitting at and squeaked like a scared squirrel once Larissa's hand laid on your shoulder.
"My, my, I did think you were a bit lost but it seems you were in fact stupefied," she sounded amused. Your face was catching fire.
"You absolute menace, why did you sneak up on me like that? Do you want to kill me?" your voice was still squeaky; like you'd inhaled helium.
Larissa laughed, full of mirth and fondness, and you couldn't pretend to be displeased with her when your lips were insisting on twitching up. You were probably making a funny face while fighting back your smile because she only continued on, if softer, as you shook your head and looked away.
"I'm sorry to have startled you, I was only passing and wanted to know what you were up to." Her hand was still resting on your shoulder and her thumb was now soothingly stroking small circles on the hollow of your clavicle.
She smiled affectionately at you while you composed yourself enough to answer. You had close to no dignity left but you would fight to recuperate it.
You cleared your suddenly tight throat, "I'm just waiting on Ajax for plant advice. He's babysitting a Dahlia for a friend of his and is worried it might be dying."
"A dahlia?" Larissa arched an eyebrow.
"Yes... why?" what was so curious about a boy caring for a flower to her?
She shrugged, "Nothing, just-" she paused, her fingertips pressing a bit as if gripping you lightly for a second, "their meaning, I imagine, but boys his age probably don't know these things anymore," she smiled dismissively.
She squeezed your shoulder softly again, eyes glinting a bit before saying, "Well, it's always lovely to run into you, dear," and leaned down to kiss your cheek, hand sliding from your shoulder to your chin as she held your face gently and pressed her lips right under your cheekbone.
She eyed the spot where her lips had been, probably because they left a mark redder than your blush, before smiling once again and leaving. Once she was out of view, you brought shaky fingertips to your warm face and suddenly you were doubling over with coughs; unstopping, burning things scorching your throat as blood springled your trousers and then, like it was just another product any coughing fit could conjure, there were two yellow petals, tinged half red in blood, laid on your lap.
"Professor...?" Ajax's voice caught your attention, and frankly people had to stop surprising you like this. You looked up to see terrified eyes staring at the stains on your lap. "Is everything alright?"
You definitely didn't feel alright. "Yes, it's just an inflammation or something," you pretended to dismiss it and he didn't seem too convinced, "Is this the child?" you pointed at a perfectly healthy dahlia.
"Yeah... I left it on the window this morning and it seems a lot better now." He shifted from foot to foot, "I brought her here just to confirm she's alright," he completed.
"She?" you couldn't help a smile. It was a joke when you said the child.
His face reddened a bit and it was amusing but mostly adorable how uncomfortable he suddenly seemed.
"Xavior and I have this thing that we talk about her like she is a person," he appeared to be immensely interested in her since he couldn't take his eyes off the plant to look at you while explaining, "We read on a website that plants can communicate with others and respond well to being praised and stuff so it because sort of a thing and-"
His words were coming more and more like undistinguished mumbles so you took pity on him and interrupted, saying "She's alright, Ajax. A healthy little girl as far as I can see, don't worry."
He visibly relaxed, deflating like a cloak of lead was sliding off his shoulders. He finally looked you in the face, still unsure and stealing glances at your lap.
"Thank you, prof." He nodded forcefully and marched quickly back inside.
The tricky thing was that you loved life, but you also loved Larissa, and you didn't want to stop doing either of those, even if they might terminate each other and you in the process.
Love is such a beautiful sentiment and dying from it was just your luck. If you could choose, in all honesty, you might have chosen to die exactly like this.
That didn't mean you were eager to do so. And that was why you decided to distance yourself from Larissa. You loved her, and you knew your love would only grow stronger and having her around did not help to keep you from diving deeper into the magnificent, all-encompassing feeling of completion that filled your heart and soul so absolutely it spilt.
In the first few weeks, she didn't seem to notice, but after your third refusal of a shared glass of red at her office she appeared at your door, concern written between her brows.
"I'm sorry to disturb you, dear, but I have the feeling I don't see you as much as I'd like this past few days and was wondering if something happened."
She had no business looking so caring and... worried, fretful.
You were still standing at the doorsill, feeling thin roots curl and clench inside your chest like anarchist veins looking for tissue to spread themselves onto when the thought occurred to you for the first time. Why can't she love me back?
It was nonsense. You knew her, you knew why, and of course your life was on the line and it mattered more than school rules or power dynamics but she was not looking for love. She made it clear not once, but several times when she'd repeat incessantly every time someone brought up the fact that she was single.
"I don't see why I need someone, Tish," or "I don't mind being alone, Vlad," and "No, dear, I don't feel incomplete, I have everything I ever wished for".
You hadn't had a problem with it before, but now, seeing her standing there, gloved hands clasped together in front of her elegantly but not fooling you at all. The air was charged, she was waiting for something; an invitation to enter, an explanation, reassurance. Her hands in front of her were not a sign of grace but an attempt at not fidgeting. She never fidgeted, you suspected she practised so much that now every time she felt uncomfortable she'd instinctively adopt certain poses that evoked control.
"Finals are coming soon," you said with no thought at all, and her brows furrowed deeper, "I mean... Preparation for finals," you tried to salvage, "I like to do a pre-review with smaller classes."
She clearly did not buy it but also didn't question you. Instead, her posture impossibly improved as she cleared her throat quietly, "Well, I'll leave you to your evening plans then," and she motioned to leave.
"Which-" you said quickly before she could go, she stood attentively, "I don't have," you said, voice breaking at the end as you felt petals clog up your windpipe.
Larissa smiled, surprised and clearly pleased, and you stepped out of the way so she could enter.
"Give me a moment," you whispered with what you hoped was an easy smile as you excused yourself to the bathroom.
As soon as you closed the door you tried your best to vomit, expel? Get rid of the petals slowly rising with as little sound as possible. If you coughed there was a chance Larissa would hear and ask questions. You weren't sure you could lie to her if she asked why you were coughing petals like you're the embodiment of spring. Even if she'd know the reason, you couldn't trust yourself not to tell it was because of her.
But you can't vomit something coming from your lungs, and there is no such thing as "gracefully letting a foreign solid thing leave travel through your respiratory system". You just grabbed a towel from the cabinet and muffled the screeches and choking and sobs on it.
After an unknown amount of time, a knock took you out of your breathing exercise to regain control.
"Is everything ok in there?" you weren't coughing anymore, but her small voice made you want to cry. Your face was still flushed from all the exertion and the tears brought by pain were still drying on your cheeks.
Your breathing quickened as dread and heartbreak occupied the emptiness left by bloody petals. You screamed without a sound, air leaving your throat, face twisted from grief. You'd die from loving her and you knew you would do so soon.
Larissa didn't wait for an answer much longer, and as she opened the door you curled into yourself, hiding the petals between your legs and chest, burying your face on your knees so she wouldn't see how ugly you looked when falling apart.
"Love, what happened?" she breathed, kneeling beside you without another word and taking you into her arms.
Why was she calling you love? Why did she have to do that? You were her friend, dear and darling and sometimes sweet. You weren't her love, you would never be and that was going to kill you. Why did she have to be affectionate when it cut you deeper than any cruelty ever could?
You couldn't make a sound, your throat could barely manage between you not breathing from all the muted crying and you scrambling for air when you realized more petals were coming as Larissa's smell filled the air, easily overpowering the flowers' while she hugged your body with one arm and kept the other around your shoulders, fingertips massaging your scalp under the crown of your head where she kept her face pressed.
This was so close to love. Why was it so hard to take that final step? You shared evenings together like a years-old couple, talked easily as if you'd spent a life together and not two years of acquaintanceship, you thought of her every second of every day, nurturing her in your heart and her rejection in your lungs.
You wished you could make her fall for you. You didn't mind before, and it wasn't the prospect of death that made you yearn for it so much now. You realized you were sick because it was too much. You had too much love inside of you and if she didn't want it there was nowhere it could go, no one to belong to, so it had to cease to exist, one way or another.
As your tight muscles started to tire and your body to fail, Larissa helped you to your bed. You were less than a person, more like the hollow ruins of a once beautiful castle that was now being conquered by nature, retaken, reclaimed.
When you stood and full flowers fell from your hiding place to the floor, you heard Larissa's surprised intake of breath. A few uncertain second passed as you looked down to the beautiful blooms you couldn't help but longingly admire, wishing them to finish you before Larissa continued to care for you like it wasn't just make it worse.
You were so drained she practically carried you across the room, laid you down on the bed and looked for the Nth time uncertain. After a few seconds she seemed to reach a conclusion and slid under the covers beside you, pulling you half conscious to her chest.
Before you completely blacked out, you heard her whisper, "I wish it was me."
The next day she wasn't there. When you woke up with very few memories of the night before, you had the sense that something was missing and as snippets of images and vague recollections started to pile up into a sequence of tortuously sweet moments, you had your worse fit of coughs that date.
That was it. You were done for. Larissa cared enough to wish to die in your place but not in the way that could save you.
You'd do anything for her but she simply couldn't do the one thing you needed from her. And it wasn't her fault, you knew she could try, hell she did try the night before for all you knew but it just was not possible. No one could force people into love and you wanted nothing of the sort. Even if you hungered for Larissa like a person starving to death you were happier knowing she would have a good life, everything she ever wished for, as she said, than being forever bound to you when she didn't want it.
You knew you didn't have long now, you weren't really coughing as flowers with the semblance of thin stems were lodged in your throat, so you fumbled desperately for something to write on while you still could.
When Larissa found you, she didn't see the paper, the tray with tea she'd gone prepare to wake you up with fell with no sound she could hear, the shattered porcelain not registering underneath the deafening white noise. She lifted your body from the floor beside the bed where you'd slipped off only to scream and let you fall onto the mattress as she saw glassed-over eyes.
She screamed and wailed and didn't notice the countless people rapidly entering and immediately leaving the room to look for help. The love of her life lay on a bed of flowers, yellow and red while their skin was almost translucent. Choked on the stems of what could be a small bouquet, blood slowly pooling beside their mouth.
"Dear Larissa, I hope you forgive the state I'm bound to be found, and that whoever has the misfortune of finding me has it in themselves to remind this scene as a terrible but miraculous love letter.
I loved you so much that it killed me.
Doesn't that sound nice? Maybe not nice, I'm dying so I don't have time to weight my words too carefully.
I'm writing this to thank you. Thank you for every time you smiled at me, talked to me, touched the back of my hand while handing me wine or made me nothing at all other than company.
Life was harder but infinitely sweeter while I was fortunate to love you. I am in love with you, and I hope after I'm dead I'll be able to still be. I know you'd be kind to the point of letting me haunt you, but I love you more than I can put into words and want you to forget this ever happened and be happy.
It's ok that you don't love me back, it's ok that I'm dead now, I died loving you and there is no other way I'd rather have died. If the price for feeling this deeply is death then you could say I chose to pay, even though I didn't. I know you wished it were you, but I was happy to pay.
If I coul"
Part of the unfinished sentence was covered by a dark stain, the rest was simply not written.
Larissa sobbed brokenly reading "I know you wished it were you," over and over, what she'd meant the night before was "I wish I was the one you love."
I listened to this while I wrote if you'd like to listen to some soft, nice music. As always, @alder-saan I hope you like it. Unless you don't want to read sad stuff which I completely understand
#yes... well#do you know the “death of the author” concept? this one is the death of the reader#quite literally#we die like unloved bitches on this one and I'm not talking about beta-reading#angst with no happy ending#unrequited feelings#hanahaki desease#larissa weems x reader#do I need to say that it's 2:30 in the morning and I haven't proofed read this before posting?#it might be rubbish since I'm half delirious from low blood pressure#larissa weems
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