#i haven't done this in years

[rurukatt]

Accompanying illustrations I did for this story! I decided to post them separately too because I really liked them :)

[imtherainbownow]

I have taken an important step in self care;

My bedsheets have been cleaned and changed!!!

[choodraws]

🌱✂️ (crop from this month's patreon piece)

twitter | ig | inprnt | patreon | store

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[deathricedrawn]

i'm ready to try

[dandyshucks]

being in love with a fictional character will make u produce art u didnt know u were capable of

~

[if ur part of the "fiction doesnt affect reality" crowd: please fuck off lol]

[xcrystalmintdragonx]

Been drawing lately

[maybe-a-gatto-or-a-catto]

hold on I'll make this my personality for 3 months

[invisiblerhythmcat]

going out twice in one day

let's see how this goes...

[grey-viridian]

DTIYS for @tizeline

Congrats on 10k!!! (love your artstyle btw sooo soft and beautiful i wanna look at your art all day!)

The original outfit was perfect but I still felt like something was missing...

[riotdyke]

2017 -> 2024

Butchness is about becoming, lesbianism is about growth, life is about transitions.

Take up your space.

[koddlet]

EDIT 10 FEB: i am no longer accepting these!! reblogs have been turned off to reflect this

hi! i'm offering drawings to anyone that donates an e-sim to gaza until 10th february. here is a tutorial on how you can do that, and you can look in the notes of this post for referral codes shared by other people for a discount.

alternatively, you can donate to any one of these instead:

Pious Projects (twitter)

Help Gaza Children (proof of impact)

Care for Gaza (twitter)

Medical Aid for Palestinians (twitter)

Help Ahmed and his family evacuate (his account)

Help Mohamed and his family get medical help and evacuate (post)

Palestine Children's Relief Fund (twitter)

Anera (twitter)

Help a family of 13 evacuate

Urgent support for medical professionals

i know there are many others - if you have donated to one that isn't here, you can still send me a screenshot + link so i can add it to the list :]

i will only accept donations made from 26th jan onwards! send me a screenshot of your receipt with timestamps through DMs or email me at kodd487@gmail.com (cover your personal details), along with the character you want. if they're from a fandom you haven't seen me draw for, a reference image would be greatly appreciated!

you can honestly donate just like a dollar or two to one of the fundraisers and i will still draw you something - it'll just be very simple! a donation is a donation and every little bit counts

[northstarscowboyhat]

Justice Family Cuddles ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

[miranagi]

November

[latolover]

I like von lycaon but i also like yanderes so here are my thoughts on yan?VonLycaon

Imagine that you work for a company that often collaborates or is close with Victoria Housekeeping Co. and thats how you both met.

Lycaon enjoys your company and admires your work ethics, you're punctual, respectful and very social towards his co-workers. He takes notes on the way you interact with his fellow co-workers, especially how you go the extra mile to bond with the anxious Corin.

Im almost so certain that Lycaon says the most romantic things to you without him even knowing. Have you heard his voice lines??? "Praise me for my loyalty" and "my only desire is to see my Master's wish fulfilled". He would offer you services with discounts specially reserved just for you. Need someone to clean your home? Take care of your pet while you're off-station? Need a hand in meal prepping ? Give him a call!

Lycaon would try to appeal to your gaze physically and emotionally. If you allow him to keep doing favours for you, you'd start to associate him with positivity. Your houseplant? Oh yeah, he recently revived it didn't he! He helped you carry your bags when you went shopping, how about we take a break and immortalise the moment with that photo booth? He never shows it on his face but Lycaon is over the moon about it inside.

Eventually your home will have his scent mixed in it but he wants something physical as a reminder. Lycaon would contact Rina, another member of Victoria Housekeeping to make a doll based on his likeness and shove a few of his fur in the stuffing.

[mountainfucker69]

armand study. i stand with my cancelled wife