#i haven’t changed the prices either i just don’t know how to organize them into a listing if i’m making prices so granular | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lys1 · 3 years ago

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Congratulations! You waited so patiently <3 This is another Asra x fem!reader for you. NSFW. 5218 words.

Playing With Potions

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The late spring morning air was warming up to be a balmy 75 degrees. You had your skirt pulled down and up, tucked in the back of the waistband, forming makeshift shorts. The shop was somewhat quiet, yet the din from the streets made its nimble way through the open windows.

You descend the ladder to the box of ingredients you were unpacking. They had come in the previous evening and Asra had promptly asked you to “organize them later”. Of course you said yes, the two of you shared this shop after all, and the work that came with it.

Asra himself was bustling behind the counter, sweeping the wooden floors free of the dust and fallen ingredients. He stops momentarily to pick up his cup of tea and take a long sip. The jasmine tea's steam billows into his face as he sighs with content pleasure.

The floorboards creak as you step down and Asra looks over at you, gaze soft. "How's the supplies look, dear?" He asks curiously, returning the cup to it’s coaster.

"Ah," you muse, counting the small containers in your hands. "Looks like we will be all set on lizard toes for a while, I think our supply captain read 1000 instead of 100." You can't help but chuckle, it couldn't be helped, at least you wouldn’t have to order more for a while.

Asra's eyes open a little wider, "oh my." He laughs, "I suppose we won’t". He sets his broom to rest against the counter and bare feet pad over to you, his deep-purple eyes examining the products.

You feel his hand settle on your waist subconsciously; a side effect of being close to one another. You breathe in lightly, smelling the sweet scent of coconut and honied biscuits wash over you. Asra's breakfast choice was apparent.

"Mm," you say, turning so the two of you were face to face. "You smell delicious."

Asra smiles, box in his hand now a little less important. "Care for a taste?" He teases, eyes falling to your parted lips. He sets his lizard toes aside and joins his other hand at your waist. You look up at him through your eyelashes and nod.

He is a mere millimeter from sealing the gap between you when the bell of the shop jingles merrily.

"Ah jeez," you huff good in good nature. "I forgot we have jobs and responsibilities."

Asra laughs at your obvious disappointment and steals a small peck. "Unfortunately, we have to eat somehow." He then turns away and walks back to the counter to greet the customer.

The man is short and has a little round face. He looks extraordinarily nervous, and this catches your attention. Yours and Asra's shop is well known in the city and the townsfolk trust their magicians. You hadn't seen anyone come in here looking so nervous, and maybe even a little embarrassed.

"What can I do for you, sir?" Asra asks charmingly, resuming his position behind the counter. Briefly you let yourself admire how nice he looks, comfortable in his shop and expertise, before turning back to the box you were supposed to be dealing with. Not, however, letting your ears miss the conversation.

"I," the man starts, already fumbling with his words. "I, well look. I need help." He finishes plainly, nervously clutching his shirt between his pudgy hands.

Asra smiles kindly, "many do." He says, tilting his head and examining his new client. "Are you here for a card reading? Need to get some answers?"

The man groans as though he is already exhausted with the conversation. "No, I already know what I need. I have the answers. I've heard about this place. The ways you can help people. I live an hour out of the market and I made this trip just to see you."

"We're flattered, for sure." Asra says calmly, you can hear slight annoyance in his tone from all the ambiguity. The visitor is none the wiser though. "To help you though," Asra continues. "I'll need to know what you need."

"Alright I need a potion," the man finally reveals. "One that will help me... with performance." His cheeks are redder than a bell pepper in the sun.

Asra raises a white eyebrow, "performance? Are you an actor?"

"No!" The man's voice came out in a strangled whisper, obviously trying to keep it down. You roll your eyes, chancing a glance over your shoulder. The shop floor wasn't that big, of course you were going to hear everything.

"No," he said again, this time a little more composed. "What I mean is... my sex life performance." The truth comes out. Your visitor wipes his forehead with a dirty rag from his pocket. "My wife and I well.. we've hit a slump," he explains. "And I've heard of potions that can help with that kind of thing. Stuff that will completely change the game." His eyes are shining now, imaging life post-performance potion.

Asra looks uncertain at best. "I see," he starts, shooting you a glance. "That.. does exists. But it takes awhile to make. And the price isn't cheap either."

You shove the last of the crow feathers into their designated drawer while listening. You have never heard of such a potion, but you were also still learning. Asra sounds a little unsure though.

"Price isn't an issue," the man sounds desperate. "I'll pay anything."

Asra sighs, he feels bad for the man wringing his hands before him, practically crying for a cure. "Alright," he finally concedes. "I'll make it, but you'll have to come back in the morning. This kind of thing takes all evening to brew."

Your customer nods vigorously, "I can wait." He says. "Tomorrow morning, yes! I'll be here!" His excitement apparent, he bows a few times while backing out of the door, tripping over his own feet.

The door closes with a sharp bang and the bell rings furiously. Asra blows air out of his mouth so that itf ruffles the curls between his eyes.

"Well," he says after a moment. "A sex performance enhancing potion was not what I was expecting to make today." He rubs his temples, eyes closed and looking thoughtful.

You grin at him from the shelf as you pick up the empty shipping box and rest it on your hip. "That's quite the name, I've never heard of a potion like that."

Asra laughs and opens his beautiful eyes to look at you. "Yes, you'll have to forgive me for not teaching you that kind of magic, it's not the.. safest." He ends uncertainly. "I don't even know how this guy found out about it. It's not talked about much amongst us magicians.. and it's certainly not a common one."

Immediately more questions than your mouth can keep up with flood your brain. "So how did you find out about it? And why isn't it safe?" You ask the two more important ones, eyes following Asra as he finds a piece of paper and quill to use.

He dips his quill in the register's ink well and starts scratching down what you presumed to be ingredients. "I've been studying magic for years, my love." He says simply, "and before you ask, no I haven't used it on myself." He looks up at you, mischief dancing in his pretty eyes. "I'd like to think my sex game is up to par." He adds innocently, licking his lips seductively when your ears tinge pink.

You brush imaginary dirt off your shirt sleeves and huff. "I suppose it's pretty good." You mumble. It almost feels like a lie to just describe it as "pretty good" but Asra doesn't need you to stroke his ego right now. You do that enough falling to pieces beneath him every night.

Asra is well aware of your attempt to keep him humble and laughs lightly. "And to answer your other question," he says, turning back to his ingredient list, "messing with ones body like this can be dangerous. You have to be very precise."

You nod as he explains, it makes sense.

Potions are always brewed in pots over a magic fire so you put yourself to work, removing a medium sized iron pot from a hook on the wall and carrying it to a fire stand. Asra is busy himself, opening various drawers and adding seemingly random ingredients to a basket he has looped over his arm. Iris petals, newt eyeball, and some shimmering gold flakes. You smile watching him, your gorgeous magician; smart and able.

In no time at all Asra has a bubbling pot of sweet smelling liquid stirring before him. You stand beside him, observing curiously.

"Why are you wearing gloves?" You ask, taking note of the large leather gloves that clad all the way up your lover's forearm.

Asra continues to stir and looks over at you, happy to hear your eagerness to learn. "I can't risk even a drop of this touching my skin. It's so strong, and will immediately absorb into anyone's skin, leaving them..." He shakes his head and trails off, amused. "That's why it has to brew so long, to burn off some of the potency."

Your mouth opens in amazement, taken aback by the idea. This is the real deal you decide, stepping back a couple inches in precaution. After watching the potion bubble for a couple more minutes you stretch and grab the watering can sitting by the floor of the door.

"I'm going to water the plants," you inform Asra, waving your hand briefly until the can is full of cool, crisp water. Gods knows there are at least three dozen inside and outside of the shop.

Asra is humming in confirmation that he heard you as you open the shop door to the plants hanging outside. You don't get very far before you're blindsided by a streak of purple darting through your legs.

Escape!

"Faust?!" You yelp, dancing around the squirming snake as she winds her way under and into the open shop. A loud, booming bark makes you jump again. This time a large hound dog is rounding the tight corner from the side street and barreling full speed towards you.

All hell breaks loose. The water can is up in the air, crashing wildly into the side of the building. You are thrown back onto the dusty floor and a mass of fur and teeth race past you, paying no mind to your yelling.

Help!

Faust is racing around the floor, narrowly avoiding the jaws of the angry dog she seemed to have aggravated. There's a large crash from inside and you cringe, hearing bottles break and wood crunch. You look back, scared at what you might find.

The shop is a disaster, papers strewn, vials broken, and potion pot toppled. Asra is groaning on the floor, obviously doing no better than the rest. You glance at him worriedly, taking quick notice of the potion he had been making spilled everywhere, even on him.

You snap your fingers and the dog's growl, who was cornering Faust by the bookshelf, turns into a whimper as you lift him up with your magic. "I'm sorry pooch," you sigh, "but we can't have you eating our friend." With a wave of your wrist the hound is out the door and down the street in an instant. The hinges creak and bell rings as the door is once again closed to outside.

Thank you!

Faust wriggles happily, red eyes glowing in relief. You guess she got up to some trouble with the local fauna. She slithers up the stairs quickly, leaving you to look around at the ruined shop.

"Ah, fuck," Asra's words cut through your thoughts like a knife. He's laying flat on the floor, chest heaving as though he just ran a marathon. Sweat glistens on his tan skin, covering him from head to toe.

You step over the broken bottles and kneel at his side. "My love?" You ask, unsure of what to do. It was obvious what had happened, it didn't take an expert. The potion that was supposed to be for your customer was now soaked into Asra's glowing skin.

Asra opens his eyes and you swallow hard. You know that look, and it nearly makes you start trembling where you sit. Lust is prevalent, clouding Asra's eyes until they're a dark amethyst color.

"You-" you start to speak but are cut off by Asra sitting up abruptly. His face is close to yours and his breath washes over your lips, hot and wanton. He looks positively desperate, just the sight of you sitting before him doing wonders.

"Please," Asra's voice comes out low and husky, he watches your chest rise and fall quickly as a result. "Can I please have you, right now."

You could almost call him asking like that soft and innocent, if it wasn't for the raw, hungry look he was giving you. His eyes were traveling everywhere across your body, leaving an invisible line that you could almost feel burning into your skin. Your lips parted and you let out a soft gasp, the power that kind of look had over you was astonishing. You shifted your legs under you subtly, feeling the result of the hot atmosphere low in your stomach.

"Tsk, tsk," you had to tease for a moment. "Closing the shop at midday for some fucking?" You reach up and cup Asra's cheek, feigning uncertainty. His skin on your fingertips burns white hot and you have to hide your amazement.

Asra's eyes narrow, he knew you too well. With a quick flick of his wrist you hear the deadbolt on the door slide into place. It's only a second later and both of his hands have found a place on either side of your hips.

"Why do you torment me?" he asks, pulling you close so your legs straddle him. "Can't you see I'm getting enough of that from this damn mistake of a potion?" His words are almost shaky, as though he can barely speak anymore. He presses his hips up to meet yours, and a soft sigh escapes his lips as he finally gets a little friction.

You dig your nails into his shoulders and gasp, the feeling of Asra so obviously in need is enough to make anyone go wild.

You can't resist grinding down lightly and Asra's eyes practically roll back at the sensation. "How can I say no to such a pretty face," you whisper, completely in love with his reaction.

That was enough for Asra and without added words he gathers you up in his strong arms and lifts you both. Your head falls back pleasurably when his lips find your neck. It only takes a few quick steps on his part to bring the two of you into the plush back room.

The purple cushions lining the cozy futon sink in gently as your back hits the mattress. The room has a slight pleasing haze as sandalwood incense burns at the table. The smell washes over your senses and a new wave of sensuality comes over the room.

Asra's hands hold you firmly as his lips continue to press lovingly into your skin. He hovers over you, one leg pressed between your legs, causing your hips to involuntarily move along his thigh.

"I need you out of these clothes," Asra groans, lips being stopped at your chest where your shirt has suddenly become a hindrance. He's already tugging at the hem, untucking the loose fabric from your waistband. You raise yourself to your elbows and help him pull the shirt over your head. At once it is thrown over Asra's shoulder and his eyes are set on your bare skin, drinking in the sight of his lover.

You smile at his admiration and lay back again, stretching your arms above your head and arching your back. You feel his hands on your stomach, traveling up to rest on your breasts. Your skin prickles with desire, flesh lighting on fire from his ministrations.

"How did I get so lucky," he breathes out, looking down at you with a look filled with love and passion. He rests the tips of his fingers on your nipples and swirls them lightly, leaving you to twist in torturous pleasure beneath his touch. "Everything about you is beautiful." Asra continues to flatter, lowering his head so his curls tickle your stomach. He licks a long line from the dip of your hip up to the valley between your breasts.

After a few moments of tasting your supple skin he moves his hands to the top of your skirt and tugs. You lift your hips in compliance and the fabric slides down your legs easily. Asra licks his lips as your body is finally fully presented to him.

"I could feast on you," he announces, voice lowered with need. "And I wouldn't go hungry in a lifetime." These words he whispers into your inner thigh, they tickle your skin softly.

You watch with bated breath as the man before you adores his lover. It's hard to keep your moans controlled as you feel his sinfully good tongue lick you in a way that can only be described as ecstasy.

Asra shifts into a more comfortable position, lying on his stomach and he brings your legs to lay comfortably over his shoulders. You shudder as you feel his hot breath flutter over your dripping slit. He doesn't waste anymore time and lowers his face to enjoy you.

Your thighs squeeze his head lightly as your body arches in response. Asra is devouring you as though you were a feast and it was the only meal he is to have in a lifetime. He grips your legs tightly to keep you from moving and covers your slit with his mouth, sucking for a moment on the tight nub at the top. He groans happily into your skin before moving down to lick your hole.

"Oh please, yes," you run your trembling hand through his hair and raise your hips up to meet his greedy mouth. He laps short, quick strokes first, stimulating you into madness.

After a moment he slows his tongue down to swirl languidly, looking up at you. You make eye contact and groan at the erotic scene of him eating you out. "That mouth of yours is too skilled for its own good," you whisper, fingers digging into his scalp, trying desperately to savor every swipe of his tongue.

Asra smiles against your folds. "I live to make you feel good, my dear." He says, pausing a moment. "You intoxicate me. Your smell, your taste. I couldn't get enough even if I had all the time in the world." He presses his lips on each one of your thighs with hot, open mouth kisses.

You blush at his words, feeling amazing under his praise. "Come here," you command softly, pulling on Asra's hair lightly to guide him back up your body. He kisses every inch of skin he passes before finally reaching your lips.

"Mm," he hums, taking your face in his hands. "But these lips, are like the finest honey in Vesuvia." He lifts your head so your mouths meet. It's a hot and feverish kiss, full of staggering amounts of love.

You press your body into his and relish in the feeling of kissing Asra. Your mouths are opened to one another and your tongues meet in fiery unison. While you enjoy the kiss you allow your hands to roam. Your fingers find his shirt buttons and you start to undo them as best you can, only a little distracted. It takes just a minute and you sigh happily into his mouth when you finally remove the annoying clothing.

You part a moment to admire the divinity of his body; prostrated before you. He was calling himself the lucky one, but you could probably make a pretty good argument for it being the other way around. He looked absolutely glorious in the hazy glow of the room.

As you reach for the waistband of his pants and rest your fingers playfully on the skin above it Asra breaks out in goosebumps at the fluttering feel of your touch.

"Ah," he breaths out, raising himself to his knees and closing his eyes. Clearly, he's enjoying the attention finally being on him.

"You are the one with the potion affecting them." You say, drawing a line from one hip to another. "It'd almost be criminal to ignore you for any longer." Your eyes fall to the bulge straining under Asra's pants, just begging to be free. A smile plays across your lips as his breaths quickens significantly.

"I.. wouldn't complain." He finally manages to say in a strained tone.

You smile, maybe a little too satisfied, and hook your fingers under the band. "I know." You chuckle, pulling. The trousers catch a moment on Asra's hardened length before slipping down to his knees. You take time to admire the sight before you, licking your lips. Asra is panting slightly, looking down at you lustfully as your eyes graze over him.

He grabs your head on either side and looks into your eyes. "Please," is all he can croak out.

You swallow thickly and you feel yourself dampen even more at his begging words. “I’d like nothing more" you say; need dripping heavily from your words. You lean forward and kiss the tip of his leaking slit lightly. Asra's body shivers with pleasure when your soft lips meet his aching shaft.

You take a breath before closing your mouth around his tip. Your cheeks hollow and you suck in deeply, enjoying the small sounds of pleasure emitting from Asra's lips. He groans even deeper as you finally swallow down his whole length, tip sliding down the back of your throat.

"Ah fuck, baby," he stutters through gritted teeth, fingers threading through your hair. He thrusts into your mouth without hesitation, reveling in the way you feel around him. The pace is fast and vicious, leaving no time for extra room for breathing.

You choke back your gasps and feel the involuntary tears prick at the corners or your eyes. Your hands fall to your sides as you let Asra use your mouth how he pleased. Licentious noises ring around the room as he sinks his member into your mouth relentlessly, moaning at each stroke and the salacious feelings that come over him.

His grip tightens in your hair as he pounds into your face. You open your mouth as widely as you can and take him in, ignoring the slight pain of labored breathing. The feeling of being used so mercilessly is intoxicating, and you close your eyes, enjoying the pleasure that overtakes you.

With a loud pop he pulls out of your drooling mouth, leaving you to be the one groaning in disappointment.

"I'm sorry love," he huffs dazedly, need heavy on his features. "But if I don't stop this now I'm cumming in your mouth."

"That doesn't sound so bad," you complain, sticking your tongue out so Asra can view how much you want it. His eyes darken considerably and he looks ready to break.

He takes a breath in sharply, steadying himself before holding your face gently in his hand. "As much as I want you fuck your face, that pussy of yours I know is dripping for me and I have to comply." He chuckles, running his thumb along your lip.

You whimper at his words, practically climaxing at the suggestion. You meet his eyes in a needy manner and nod. "Oh, Asra," you start, already seeing excitement flit across his face at the mention of his name. "I want you more than I can even describe to you."

To this Asra inhales sharply, thumb still hooked in your mouth. "Tell me how you want me," he says, barely able to contain his own desire.

"I want you to fuck me from behind," you begin, knowing exactly how to please his ears. "I'm going to cry and moan, and beg you for relief but you will know better." His eyes widen in ecstasy but you continue anyway. "I want you to give everything you can to me, without holding back."

Asra seems to snap right in front of you. His features immediately seem to plead for consolation. "You'll get what you ask for." He growls, fingers tightening in your mouth. You lick his thumb seductively and the action throws him over the edge.

Asra's hands fly to your waist and hold you firmly, you're flipped over; ass to the heavens greeting him. He swallows at the sight and digs both palms into the flesh, enjoying the feeling immensely. "So needy and ready for me," he groans, finger finding your entrance and slipping in easily. You gulp at the warmth of having fingers enter you. Asra is unrelenting and curls them cruelly against your walls.

"Just fuck me already!" You cry, unable to hide your desires anymore. You hear Asra laugh behind you, yet despite this you know he is dying to sink himself into you.

"Alright, alright." He concedes, taking your hips in his hands. "If you insist."

You feel his tip slide against your slit and shudder, craving the feeling of him inside you. It doesn't take more than a moment before you feel him start to enter you. You lay your head down, turning your face so you can watch Asra take you from behind.

His lips are parted in a silent moan as he relishes in the feeling of your walls around him. You sigh softly as he fully sheaths himself in you, a small tremor passing over your body from the pleasure. One moment, two moments pass as you both bask in the feeling of being connected.

"Give me your hands," he commands, slowly sliding in and out of you, giving no care to his agonizingly slow pace. Soft gasps are falling from your lips as you try to register his request.

Carefully, you cross your arms behind your back. It's no use to keep the blush at bay as you take in the dirty scene. Your face is pressed to the pillows, unable to move much as Asra takes your wrists and pins them to your back. Your ass is raised in the air to meet his rhythmic thrusting.

Asra grips one of your thighs with a free hand and quickens the pace a little. Your eyes shut tightly as your body responds. You can feel his tip hit deep inside of you with each snap of his hips. It's unrelenting and you have to catch yourself from begging for more.

You feel the fingers around your wrist tighten a bit as Asra's breathing speeds up behind you. You know that he's set on giving you as much painfully slow torture as he can manage himself, but you also know that potion is working against him. There's nothing he wants more than to let go and pound you into the mattress.

"Baby," you choke out, words bouncing along with your bodies. "I know you want to fuck me so good right now." Your voice is deep with seduction. "Please just fill me up like I know you want to." You finish your plea, watching his face with satisfaction. His eyes are darkened with desire. He takes just a few more strokes before slowly to a stop inside you.

"You asked for it," he warns. He only takes a moment to let go of your wrists and flips your body so you're facing him. He cages you in on either side and licks his lips as he stares into your eyes. His hungry mouth meets yours in a kiss full of fire. You can melt into it for only a second before you feel him grab your hips and pull you flush against him; Your cries drowned by his lips as he sets an erratic pace, skin meeting with loud slaps.

"Fucking hell," he groans, still kissing you between words. "You feel like heaven on earth. You're so hot, and I can feel your insides squeezing me." He explains, hot breath falling over your face. Your cheeks burn at his descriptions.

You loop your arms around his neck and press your chest into his. Your skin meets, shining with sweat and burning from love. Asra presses back, savoring the feeling of your nipples brushing against his.

You start to feel that familiar blossom of unreleased pleasure pool in your lower stomach. Asra's shaft is hitting you just right, sending jolts of satisfaction right to your core.

"Oh-" you stop and whine pleasantly when he shifts angles. "Fuck. Please yes, don't stop!" Your arms drop and nails dip into his biceps and you grit your teeth from the hot delight searing through your body.

"I couldn't even If i wanted to," Asra answers, words strained as his grasp on himself starts to crumble. His breath is leaving his lips in short pants now and you can almost see the resolve to hold on slip away before your eyes.

He falls into you, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist and thrusts into you with all of the strength he can muster. You bury your face in his neck and take hold of his hair. You can feel Asra's body shuddering to not let go.

You bring your lips to his ear and bite his lobe. "Won't you come for me sweetheart? Please empty yourself in me." You whisper.

Asra takes in a sharp breath and you hear him choke at your words. They were enough to push him over the edge and he rams into you with a low, strangled cry.

Your head falls back and your mouth opens in a silent scream as Asra lets himself go in you. Your legs shake violently of their own accord as you feel your orgasm wash over you, leaving your body in euphoric fire.

Asra's lips immediately find yours as you ride out your orgasms together. You kiss him passionately, all of your senses in overdrive. His kisses are soft, and sweet, a clear declaration of his love. Happiness rushes in like a flood as you enjoy the afterglow. After a minute Asra removes himself from you and joins you in laying down, sides still heaving from the activities.

"My dear, how I love you." He says with a smile, running his fingers in slow, soft circles on your stomach.

You turn on your side and look into his eyes. He looked content, and his cheeks were dimpled from his growing grin.

"I love you too," you return, hand falling into his. His skin was still warm. The two of you lay there for a while, out of breath and simply enjoying the presence of one another.

Eventually, Asra sits up and looks down at you with humor in his eyes. "Well, I think I can tell our buyer that we did an extensive review of his product and it does, in fact, work."

Your face breaks into a smile and you laugh at Asra's words. "Oh goodie, I'm sure he'll be thrilled to hear all about it."

#the arcana game #asra alnazar #the arcana #asra lemon #asra smut #asra x reader #asra x female reader #writing #fanfic #arcana smut #arcana #arcana fanfic #asra fanfic

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soyeahitsmiddleearth · 4 years ago

Note

hello! i was wondering if you could write the following request; you are a member of the Brotherhood, the most dangerous assassins league of Middle Earth. To say that the Company of Thorin Oakenshield is both impressed and intimidated is an understatement.

The Company/Reader: Killer Good Looks pt.1

Trigger Warnings: Referenced assault and child abuse, murder

----

To say you're an excellent fighter would be a gross understatement.

You're the very definition of a rogue; you like shiny things, you're stealthy, cunning, persuasive, what are we missing...? Oh! And you're also an infamous deadly assassin for hire, and you get hired alright.

You're wanted (in more ways than one), for people are always looking for someone to fulfill their dirty deeds for them.

Almost everything is on the table with you; you'll steal things for people (and yourself), kill if the price is right, infiltrate and lie, and many other things, however, there are some things off limits.

For example, you won't kill kids. You never have and you never will, you flat out refuse; you also don't sell yourself to others for pleasure or other things of inappropriate nature; and, most importantly of all, you don't kill those whom you have a relationship with (meaning you don't kill friends, though those are few and far between).

When you were but a child your parents sold you off to put bread on their table, and you knew nothing but torment from that moment on.

For months the lady's husband would sneak into your rooms at night, and she would always pretend not to notice; she took to releasing her frustrations out on you under the false pretense that you were an issue, beating you, berating you, yelling, abusing; they were horrible people taking advantage of a 10 year old child in every way imaginable.

You felt no remorse when you finally gathered the courage to slit their throats one night, and to this day you still don't.

The news of your deeds spread quickly, for they proved to be quite shocking and a wonderful topic for conversation.

A mere child servant manages to kill their masters unseen and unheard, escaping into the night never to be seen again? That would catch anyones attention. And it certainly caught the attention of The Brotherhood.

They found you, took you in, and honed your sloppy skills to make you into the perfect, lethal weapon.

You've killed more people than you can count, stolen more than even the richest man has, and lied to everyone you've ever met at least once.

It's safe to say that you're not exactly a stand up citizen.

Your name, as well as the name of the organization who taught you all you know, is well known throughout Middle Earth which is why you were, ultimately, employed to assist and protect the line of Durin in their journey to reclaim Erebor...

Except, unbeknownst to them, you have ulterior orders from The Brotherhood regarding the operation.

Once the dragon is either confirmed dead or slain and the mountain is reclaimed, you are to kill the Durin's (and anyone else who stands in your way) and claim the mountain for The Brotherhood.

When you were first given this assignment you had no qualms with it.

Yes, dwarfs are strong, brave, and resilient, but you are fast, intelligent, and one of the best fighters in the organization because of your early start and ability to disconnect yourself from almost every situation. Also, you don't know them, any of them, and you've never had trouble killing royal, powerful people before.

It was supposed to be easy.

You joined the group in a cute little place called The Shire in a hobbit hole belonging to one Bilbo Baggins, and when you met everyone you figured that killing them would be easy, but as time went on you began to forget about your mission.

Everything started out simple. You didn't talk much and they stayed away from you for the most part; partially out of intimidation, but also from reservations on disturbing you.

You're a private person, and they'd hate to make you dislike them by being nosy or prying.

Gandalf is the only one who knows of your past, but even knowing who you truly are, he never for a second suspected what your true purpose was.

It's around the time you all leave Rivendell and return to the road when things start to change.

Thorin wanted to keep a schedule and reach the Misty Mountains before the end of the 4th week, and halfway into the 4th, you're already there are the entrance to the mountain pass.

Because the group makes such excellent time Thorin chooses to reward the group with a day and night full of rest to spend restocking supplies, regrouping, and relaxing, which is something that benefits you all greatly.

By this point, you've worked up enough 'trust' to actually sleep in short bursts around them, and you take full advantage of this day of rest to regain your strength.

At some point during the night you manage to fall asleep, and hen you wake you find that you managed to pass out for a good 4 hours.

The very first thing you notice is Dwalin sitting not far from you, and the blanket draped over your resting form.

To say you're taken off guard would be an understatement, for you never expected to be treated with such tenderness (or at least, tenderness by your definition considering the life you've lead).

"Dwalin...?" You call after a time of looking ahead, wanting to find out his motivations.

His gaze snaps over to you and a small, greeting smile falls upon his lips, "Good evening. It is mid-night, I'm sure you'd like to know."

You glance briefly up at the sky and observe the position of the moon and stars and find that he's correct, then your gaze returns to his face. "I see. What are you doing over here, though?"

The balding dwarf looks a tad more sheepish when you ask your question, and his voice contains slight embarrassment, "Well, we know you don't much like sleeping around us, or in general, so I thought that keeping watch here may help you feel even a bit safer."

Those words shock you to your very core.

"You'll always be safe with us, you should know. You protect us in waking, so the least we can do is return the favor in sleeping."

Any and all responses that come to your mind in this moment seem inadequate in comparison to his declaration, so you're left sitting there looking at him with a blank, yet dumbfounded stare.

"You needn't say anything in response. I just thought you should know." Another smile graces upon his lips, and then his attention turns back out towards the darkened tree line surrounding the mini camp in a half circle. "Sleep more if the desire is to suddenly strike you."

And, for some odd reason, you do.

---

For the first time in what has to be years, you sleep through the night and do not wake again until the sun beckons you to do so.

When the first light shines through the trees and makes the forest sparkle with morning magic, you arise and find that a new dwarf, Ori, has taken the place of Dwalin.

A feeling, one that you can't identify, rises within you, and you find yourself unable to handle it.

"Ori." You greet curtly, "I am going to depart for a time. Expect me back in 20 minutes."

The young dwarf looks up at you and nods shallowly, not even entertaining the thought that you would need an escort. "Alright. Get back safely."

His words linger with you after you leave, for the act of being cared for is alien to you.

When was the last time someone genuinely cared for your well-being and not just what they would lose if you were to perish? When was the last time someone thought of you as a person who could be harmed instead of a weapon that maybe tarnished every-so-often?

These thoughts plague your mind as you go to search the game traps you lay around the camp the morning before, and you find that the prize is well worth the early journey.

3 rabbits, 2 squirrels, and a wild hog around 2 feet long and a foot wide. The hog you caught along the way, actually. It had been sniffing around one of the game traps you sent (the trap wouldn't have been strong enough to hold it anyways), and you wasted no time in throwing a dagger straight into its' head.

You string up the rabbits into a line of rope and carry the hog over your shoulders (it's really heavy, so you made sure to evenly distribute the weight), and then you head straight for the group with your prizes in hand.

When you enter the clearing you're noticed immediately, for the game hanging from your body draw a lot of attention.

"Odin's beard!" Gloin exclaims, jumping up from his spot once his eyes fall upon you, "Look at all of that!"

All eyes are on you as soon as the red-haired dwarf alerts them to your presence, but you maintain a mask of nothing even despite your discomfort with being the center of attention.

"Where did you get all that?" Fili calls, getting up and approaching you to help carry the load.

You shrug off the line of rabbits and squirrels to him when he begins to tug on it and bring the hog to the middle of the camp, dropping it down heavily.

Bombur looks up at you with a grand smile and praises you in his low, baritone voice, "Well will you look at that! Now that's a hog."

You dip your head in acknowledgement of his compliments and offer right after, "Do you want me to skin them?"

"Oh, no, no! You have done more enough for us, we can manage that at the very least." The older dwarf assures you, patting the fat belly of the swine, "Thank you, lass. We haven't had a commendable meal in months, so this will be a real treat."

You received so many compliments and acclimations that you almost began to blush, but that's an unconscious ability that had left you a long time ago.

Everyone traveled with full bellies that afternoon, and there was plenty of leftovers to last everyone well into the next day as well.

Things like this are seldom the topic of talk or praise in the organization you work for, and you can never rely on anyone. You're all thieves, after all. Liars, tricksters, murderers... how could you trust someone like that to have your back? But... somehow, they trust you to protect them and their precious royal friends.

You: the liar, trickster, and murderer.

They sleep in your presence as if you hadn't stolen millions in treasure, product, and money; as if you hadn't killed a quarter of the people you've met in your lifetime. They trust you, the real you (or at least the realest version of you that there is), and it's a truly foreign feeling.

Of course, even though these good feelings long since lost to you have returned for a time, you keep yourself in check with the thoughts of what they would do to you if they found about your true intentions.

The images of their betrayed, angry faces, the disgust that would shine in their eyes when they realize what you're truly capable of... you're always sure to not lose sight of your end goal; the Mountain of Erebor and its' lost treasure. If you're to fail, you're certain that you'll be killed (either by the dwarfs or The Brotherhood), so you don't even entertain the thought of abandoning your mission.

---

Later in the day, during the trek up those horrible, treacherous mountains, you're approached by Bofur, the hat wearing dwarf with a smile more contagious than any sickness.

"Hello." You greet curtly when he falls into step beside you, eyeing him in your peripherals. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"Oh, no." He shakes his head no and reaches up to straighten his fur hat, "You just looked a little lonely, is all."

Lonely, huh?

You don't reply right away and look ahead with your usual blank expression and dull eyes, though you do feel an uncomfortable, appreciative feeling swell inside of you. "I am not lonely." You inform him matter-of-factly, though when you glance down at his face you see that your words have slightly hurt his feelings.

Your heart twists slightly painfully when you see his saddened countenance, and before you can even think about it you're blurting out, "But I welcome the company regardless."

His frown is immediately replaced with a brilliant smile and his eyes positively shine with enthusiasm; you never thought your acceptance would garner such a reaction from him (much less anyone for that matter).

The dwarf practically talks your ear off while the 15 of you travel up the Misty Mountains, telling you everything he possibly can about his homeland, family, and feelings regarding the journey (as well as other things), and while all this incessant blathering would normally irk you, you actually find that you quite like it.

Bofur's excited speech does eventually die down when it starts to rain, though, for he and yourself both think it safer to concentrate on the hike as its level of danger grows.

It isn't long before night falls, and once it does the rain becomes a much more dangerous obstacle.

There is lower visibility and the rocks become horribly slippery, though neither of these things could ever hope to top the giant stone beasts that begin to battle right in front of you all.

The stone giants don't seem notice any of you, and if they do then they simply don't care, and you all barely escape with your lives. They throw huge boulders bigger than any building you've ever seen, and their hand-to-hand combat leaves you all shaking against the mountainside, fearful of falling to your deaths as you sway every which way.

To your, and everyone else's luck and great joy, a little cave in the mountainside appears before you all (after a horrible death scare with half of the company), and it becomes your resting spot for the night.

You, like usual, choose a spot closest to the cave entrance with rock that covers both your back and left side and fall asleep effortlessly. You plan on only resting for four or so hours, hopefully until the rain passes, and then you can resume watch so the others may regain their strength (they're heavier and bigger than you, so they need more rest and food).

Those 4 hours (and an extra half!) pass by without issue and your internal clock eventually wakes you up.

One of the first things you see when your eyes flutter open is the stone ceiling of the cave hovering above you, and the next is Bofur who sits in the little watch spot right across from your sleeping area.

You sit up as soon as your sleep addled mind clears and your blurry eyes gain focus and call softly, "Bofur, go ahead and take a rest. I can resume your watch."

The dwarf jumps slightly when your soft voice breaks through the silence and reaches out to him, but he doesn't move to get up. Instead, a small smile upturns the corners of his lips and he whispers back, "No, you do a watch of your own every night and refuse to wake anyone else up often enough. Please, go back to sleep."

He noticed that?

You can't even keep the surprise from your face, for your eyes widen almost imperceptibly and your lips part slightly. "I..." You've been shocked speechless, something that you thought impossible.

"We have all noticed, in case you're wondering. Now, go ahead and resume sleep. I've still got another 30 minutes of watch."

And, for some reason, you don't protest.

Sleep calls to you and tugs at your eyelids, making them heavy and causing your eyes to burn. What spell have they put you under to make you tired again under a simple command, you wonder?

You fall back asleep despite yourself, but it doesn't last long, for within 20 minutes after Bilbo tries to leave and the storm begins to quiet, the floor opens beneath you all and swallows everyone whole.

#the company x reader #thorin oakenshield #bofur #dwalin #bilbo #fili #kili #assassin reader #reader insert #the hobbit fanfiction #the hobbit #bofur x reader #thorin oakenshield x reader #dwalin x reader #bilbo x reader #kili x reader #fili x reader

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steampunkforever · 2 years ago

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2021

We’re in an interesting phase of the pandemic, almost two years on. Covid was obviously never really that deadly if you’re looking at stuff like Ebola or whatever, but it’s still not just “a bad case of the flu” so we get this weird dichotomy where people are simultaneously lax and overzealous when approaching the matter.

I know fully vaccinated people who still double mask and social distance. I also see the politicians who are trying to push mask mandate narratives only masking up for photo shoots.

It’s a weird limbo where the disease is still considered deadly (don’t go into work if you’re even slightly losing smell and taste, you might be a plague carrier) but the packed stadiums full of crowds chanting “let’s go Brandon” don’t even register a spike. The delta variant was a joke. With a few days total of sore arms, we can safely watch movies in theaters now. The French Dispatch is beautifully shot, by the way.

The news is still moaning on about how you can still die of Covid if you’re vaccinated (then why get the vaccine?) but basically the only people dying are those who won’t get immunized. Some of the biggest pushes for organized labor and workers rights have centered around preventing employers from mandating the vaccine for those who choose to abstain.

Medical science has become a partisan issue. Rand Paul uses Dr. Fauci as a punching bag. Not all of it is posturing either. Every time the senator calls fauci on the carpet, I can hear the ballots being cast. I’m sure Senator Paul can taste them.

Abroad things are worse. Surveillance states become police states, where the cops drop by just to see if you’re home. Australia has always been a prison colony, it’s just a cultural thing I guess. International trade is a mess. Globally manufacturing can’t hold up to demand. Prices inflate. Gas gets more expensive. There aren’t enough truckers to deliver cargo. The PlayStation 5 is still a hot item, fully a year after demand should have cooled.

A year ago, as it became clear that a vaccine was on the way (“he’s not forcing anyone to get it”), people were still calling the police on Thanksgiving celebrations. “The pandemic isn’t over.” Now, they’ve stopped listing case numbers with hushed tones. The loudest complaints about thanksgiving and Covid focus on Turkey supply issues.

People didn’t stop caring. I still wear a mask to work. The water fountains in schools are still shut off. We’re in the teen stage of the pandemic. It’s almost grown and about ready to move out. We can’t celebrate becoming empty nesters yet. But I’m going to concerts again. I’m giving high fives again. The second worst part of this whole thing has been zoom calls. The third worst is “Imagine.”

2022

I write this now months later. Around New Years we saw a massive spike in Covid cases and I haven’t heard anything since. A war in Ukraine with possible nuclear consequences has removed media attention to more scandalous things, and therefore the pandemic has been put on the back burners.

A few months ago a convoy of truckers shut down a major Canadian metropolis in protest of Canada’s draconian Covid laws. A few weeks ago a convoy of truckers tried to shut down the American capitol. And it didn’t matter.

Now at the end of the summer, Monkeypox (a much easier disease to stop) has taken the stage and Covid is a “we’ll see a spike when school starts” sort of disease akin to the flu once more, just like in 2019. I finally caught the plague in January, and haven’t had any adverse health impacts other than a tinder-influence depressive state through March.

Covid changed the job landscape, and now my first actual career office job is remote, a cool thousand miles from where my bosses live. I visited California (the most stringent of mask states) and nobody asked to see my vax card when I walked into places with “vax card required” signs. Businesses are tired of ineffectual precautions and just want things normal again. And in America at least, money talks.

Last month China shut down an entire populist protest aimed at pointing out banking corruption by simply marking everyone involved as Covid positive and revoking their green passes.

Now, in august, I can go out to a restaurant but I can’t try on clothes at the thrift store. I’m working from home but I’m going to nightclubs. Gas prices are high from the War with Russia but it’s not a trade war. And I’m still wearing a mask in schools. As I should be. Have you seen those places? They’re full of children!

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bunni-teeth81 · 4 years ago

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Slender bros rewritten by me

Cause I want character development

(This is mostly Offender, trender, and Splendor. Also if you like Slendey/slender dad you might not wanna read this cause I do not make him a good guy in the slightest)

Possible tw for mention sexual assault, pedolophilia, necrophilia, and zoophilia!

To start off, Offender is not a rapist, he isn’t a pedo, and he doesn’t fuck animals

He doesn’t do anything without consent, plain and simple. Him being all those things was a rumor started by someone he fucked in the past who got caught cheating. They said Offender forced them and the rumors have escalated since with his legend.

He actively avoids children cause he doesn’t like them. So he literally couldn’t be a pedo.

He doesn’t hate kids, he just prefers to not be around them.

He won’t fuck someone with kids unless the kids are out of the house and somewhere safe.

He’s wary about fucking 18 and 19 year olds and usually doesn’t

Occasionally if he sees a kid sad while he’s on a walk or whatever he’ll give them some daisies or something. Though they kinda just appear near the kid. He doesn’t actually go near them.

Though he will fuck old people. He has no problem with that. But he will go gentler cause they’re frail

He likes animals, but not like that. Like.. ew

He has a kind of respect for the dead, even people he’s killed to eat, so he’d never do that. Also it goes back to the consent thing. They can’t consent so he ain’t gonna fuck them.

He’s pansexual.

He’s very kinky, obviously. He’s willing to do pretty much anything in bed

He prefers to top but he has no problem being pegged-

Has tried every drug there is.

Usually just sticks to weed, alcohol, crack, shrooms, and the occasional LSD

Bath salts fucked him up majorly and he will never do them again.

He works for trender, who has a whole ass company (will be touched on later)

He helps trender make clothes for more alt styles (punk, grunge, goth, emo, all that good stuff) and he helps with lingerie (masc and fem. trender makes both. Offender tests it out and gives feedback on what could be added or changed)

He also finds models for Trender (there’s really no qualifications to be a model, you kinda just have to want to be one. Trender, his assistants, and other models will help fill new models in. And they never have to wear something they don’t want or pose a way that makes them uncomfortable. also theres do discrimination when it comes to models, any one of any race, body type, gender (or lack there of), sexuality, and age to an extent (depending on the clothes being modeled and (if parent permission is needed if they get it)) are welcome)

He also does side jobs like art (he does realistic art) plays piano or violin for songs, every so often he’ll join a strip club. Definitely has an OF.

He learned piano from his dad. Their dad made them all learn piano. His dad was very against him learning violin but his mother let him learn it (she knew how to play)

Their parents kept them pretty reserved from the rest of the world (particularly humans) for safety reasons. The brothers didn’t find out they were the only ones of their kind till they were like teens and went hunting for the first time.

Their parents suddenly disappeared when they were teens. They still haven’t found them and have no idea what happened to them.

Zalgo killed them cause the dad was constantly fighting him, so was the mom but less so.

There were originally 5 brothers, but one got murdered (It was Tenderman. Who wouldve been the oldest, then slender, offender and trender are twins, then splendor)

They don’t know how tender was murdered. All they know is they can be murdered. They still haven’t figured out how tho.

They do know that they can regenerate any part of their body (teeth and nails grow back almost instantly, limbs take longer, they can just put their head where it should be and the bone, muscle, skin, tissue and all that will pull back together, skin can either regenerate in about an hour or two or a couple days depending on the size of the wound. Their organs can regenerate but it takes like a month.)

Drugs don’t effect them the same way they do us. Our massive hangovers that put us out of commission is what happens after they do LSD. A regular hangover for us is what happens when they do coke or a drink shit ton of alcohol.

Offender has the highest tolerance, then it’s trender, splendor, and Slender has the lowest cause he hasn’t done drugs.

Splendor has tried them but doesn’t like doing them. He doesn’t drink much either.

Trender will do them every so often, usually with Offender. He either drinks or smokes a blunt usually. Shrooms are for special occasions, and LSD gives him major anxiety so he doesn’t do it.

Trender and Offender were the only ones to try bath salts. They don’t know what happened. Splendor says they disappeared for a month and murdered a shit ton of people. They almost got caught. And at some point Offender ate a whole ass headstone and took a chunk out of a mausoleum

Slender hunts whenever the hell he wants, he doesn’t care about being caught

Offender hunts every couple of months or so

Trender hunts about 2 times a year. He spreads out his food pretty evenly

Splendor hates hunting and usually Offender or Trender will do it for them. They’ll maybe hunt once a year.

Human food to them is like sweets to us. They can’t live off it but it’ll keep them from starving. If they don’t eat human for about 3-4 years they’ll start to starve, but the process is slow and would probably take a while to actually kill them

Trender, Splendor, and Offender try not to get caught or make suspicions rise. They just wanna live their lives.

The amount of people they consume and how long they stay in their human form determines their power levels.

Slender is the most powerful, then Splendor, Offender, and Trender is the least powerful (but they’re all still mega powerful)

Slender is never in his human form and consumes humans whenever he wants so he has nothing holding back his power

Splendor may not eat human much but they’re rarely ever in his human form. And if they are it’s not for more than an hour usually

Offender is in his human form about 50% of the time. He’s in his normal form at home or hunting and any other time he’s human so-

Trender is in his human form like 90% of the time since he spends most of his time at work (he’s a workaholic to the highest extent. When it becomes really bad is when Offender will step in and be like “hey let’s grab a drink and chill out”)

Offender and Slender’s relationship is like Raph and Leo’s from tmnt if their relationship was genuine hatred and violent

Splendor tries to med their relationship and makes times where they all hang out and have dinner together but to no avail

This is the only time Slender can be seen in his human form. He doesn’t want to go but for some reason he does

Slender is stuck in his ways

Their dad hated humans with a passion, and Slender looked up to their father and wanted to be exactly like him so the hatred rubbed off

Slender blames humans for his parents disappearing and Tender’s death. Tender was the brother he bonded with the most

Splendor used to be a really emotional kid and their father hated that so now they bottle up everything

Their mother tried to help as best she could

V support

Trender’s company is a fashion company that produces just about everything

And the sizes go up to 4 or 5 x

And the prices are reasonable and don’t go up with the size

Trender really doesn’t give to shits about money. If he could he’d just give everything he makes away but unfortunately he needs some money to produce what he makes.

He makes kids clothing, teens clothing, adults clothing in every aesthetic you can think of. Rarely will you see basic shit from him

He makes jewelry (real and fake (for the kiddies) and specifies very obviously which is which so someone doesn’t accidentally buy the wrong one)

He makes shoes!

His prices are usually around 10-25 dollars for clothing, sometimes 30 if it’s a specific brand (like Gorillaz or something. He doesn’t work with brands like Victoria secret, brands that have sweat shops, things like that. He doesn’t support them whatsoever)

His business is huge but he always listens to the people and tries to improve. And all his products are made ethically. He tries in every way possible to produce good products without polluting the earth more

Splendor usually only hangs around babies-young adults. They help them through rough home lives, trauma, and helps them find joy. They do everything they can to make them feel better

Splendor is the one who takes care of Sally. And they feels incredibly guilty for not being able to stop what happened to her, or punish her uncle himself.

Animals and mystical creatures are drawn to them and their home. They go to it for shelter and safety, as well as some food. But because Splendor isn’t always there they have a nymph friend there to look after everything.

Slenderman is the only one with proxies

Splendor is demisexual and bi, leaning towards men

Trender is queer and demisexual/demiromantic

Slender doesn’t love anything. Ever.

Trender gets annoyed easily but rarely ever gets pissed pissed (like original face altering pissed) if he does it’s either cause someone did something to his brothers or his models. And the unfortunate soul who did such will never be seen again afterwards

Offender doesn’t really get pissed pissed cause he usually either bottles it up or makes a joke out of it. It’s really only if something happens to his brothers that he gets pissed pissed.

Splendor has a list of people they wish they could rip to shreds. All of them parents. But they don’t want to do that to the children. They only intervenes and gets pissed pissed when the abuse gets physical or sexual. When it’s physically they’ll give the parent one change to never do that again. They’ll scare the shit outta them but won’t hurt them. If it’s sexual they kill them. Plain and simple.

Splendor started wearing pokadots to make the kids happy. Trender hates the suit but doesn’t comment usually

Splendor’s black hands are a skin disease their species can have. The skin is black and kinda ridged.

Splendor wears gloves because of their skin disease. the blood stains and they can’t get it out. Also they’re very insecure about their disease

Splendor put the bells on their tendrils so their movements didn’t scare the kids. They would always know when he was moving and where he was moving to so they’d be more comfortable. It was painful but it was worth it

Slender was in the woods when he was younger and almost got attacked by humans, but his mother came and saved him. (Her tendrils could be used as a shield)

Eden is not related to the brothers.

But eden looks a lot like their mother, so much so that Spendor legitimately mistakes her for their mother.

Slender’s human name is John (splendor had to come up with it on the spot leave them be)

Offender’s human name is Dimitri and I’ll die on this hill

Splendor’s human name is Faer

Trender’s human name is Quael

They can change their physical appearance to be fem or masc. like their body can change.

Slender doesn’t give two shits about pronouns

Offender doesn’t care but he/they/xem works

Trender goes by he/him

Splendor goes by they/them

(Im including Slenderwoman now so uh... 🤷)

Her hair is her tendrils.

She’s not part of the Slender bro family nor does she know they exist (though eventually she will. She’s way younger than them so)

✨Lesbian✨

Has met Slenderman tho. She hates him

Like genuinely hates his guts

She hates almost sharing a name with him.

Prefers to go by her human name; Eden

As long as you don’t use the pronouns he/him she doesn’t care.

She just kinda... appeared at the ripe age of 4? (She doesn’t remember anything past 4 so that’s what if feels like to her.)

Splendor is a switch and you can’t change my mind

Trender is also a switch

Slender doesn’t get any cause he’d kill them, purposely or not, being radioactive and all.

Eden is a top but can bottom is convinced

Offender, Splendor, Trender, and Eden can all control their radiation output so they can glitch tech when they chose and won’t hurt anyone

Slender could but doesn’t want to 🤷

They can be killed by their hearts getting impaled. The reason they don’t know that is because the skin will heal, but the heart can’t.

Offenderman’s real name isn’t Offenderman. That name was dubbed to him when people believed the rumors of him. But he kept it. He can’t really explain why but he did. And now he forgets it’s not his real name sometimes. Though he does prefer to go by Offender/Smexy.

Splendor calls him Offendy and he’s the only one allowed to do so

Trended has four arms, plus his tendrils. He can hide his second pair of arms like his tendrils but it takes energy

Getting their limbs/tendrils cut off only stings to them. They’re only in full on pain when their organs are involved

Eden’s blood has healing properties.

Someone can be turned immortal by being injected with one of the brother’s (or Eden’s) blood in large amounts. It’s extremely painful though.

Doing it slowly can ease the pain, so doing it over a week’s time nonstop will get the job done.

The injected person will be very weak after it for a couple days. A week. 2 weeks in worse cases.

The only one who’s done this is Splendor. They were dating a guy for a very long time and they told him about the procedure and he wanted it. After gaining back his strength he left Splendor. They’re not entirely over this even though it happened a long time ago.

They (mainly Offender and Trender) had to track him down and kill him. (Ya know, heart stuff)

That’s when they figured that’s probably how they could get murdered

#slenderverse #slenderman #offenderman #trenderman #splendorman #Creepypasta #creepypasta headcanon #slenderverse headcanons #stars slenderverse

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kaialone · 3 years ago

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Kirby Planet Robobot Translation Comparison: Pause Screens (Part 2)

This will be a comparison of the original Japanese version and the US English localized version.

Specifically, this will cover the pause screen descriptions of all bosses faced exclusively in the extra modes of the game.

While I’m mainly comparing the US English version to the Japanese one, I’ll bring up differences in the EU English version that I find notable, too.

For the comparisons, the usual points apply:

Bolded is the original Japanese text, for the reference.

Bolded and italicized is my translation.

Italicized is the official NOA translation.

A (number) indicates that I have a specific comment to make on that part in the translation notes.

As you read this, please keep in mind that with translations like these, it’s important not to focus on the exact literal wordings, since there is no single “correct answer” when it comes to translations.

Rather than that, consider the actual information that is being conveyed, in which way, and why.

This part will work the same as the last one.

And since a lot of these pause descriptions are somewhat connected to their counterparts of the main story as well, I would recommend reading the previous part first, if you haven’t already.

Also, as a general note, you’ll see that all the stronger versions of the regular bosses have the prefix “Re:” added in the Japanese version.

This was changed to “2.0″ in the English version.

From what I’ve seen, “Re:” in Japanese pop culture is often used as a cool, sometimes futuristic way to refer to a “renewal” of something, so adapting it as “2.0″ makes sense.

Re:ウィスピーボーグ

ウィスピーボーグが新モデルにリニューアル。ねんぴもよくなりはいきガスもへっているので、カンパニーもかんきょうにはいりょしながらしょうエネ開発を進めているもよう。価格も前モデルの半分におさえられている。

Re:Whispy Borg

Whispy Borg has been newly remodeled. The improved fuel efficiency and reduced emission of exhaust gases indicate that perhaps the company too strives to be environmentally friendly, developing new ways to conserve energy. Its price has been cut down to half the previous model, too.

Clanky Woods 2.0

Clanky Woods has been redesigned and upgraded. Better fuel efficiency and fewer emissions demonstrate the company's new environmentally friendly initiative. It costs only half of the previous model!

Comparisons & Thoughts:

The description has been slightly shortened as usual, though there are some potential errors or changes, too.

In the English version, the text mentions “the company’s new environmentally friendly initiative”, whereas the Japanese version doesn’t make it sound like this would be a new thing for them.

It’s possible that this was a mistranslation, but it could also be that they intentionally changed it in English to be a little more obvious about the irony - because the Haltmann Works Company allegedly trying to be environmentally friendly is ridiculous.

Also, in the Japanese version, the original wording makes it more clear that Clanky Woods’ price being reduced is seemingly referring to the cost a potential buyer would have to pay for it, rather than the cost of producing it.

This feels like it might be alluding to how in real life, manufacturers of electric cars or the like will try to cut down their prices to some degree in order to get more people into them, and thus creating more of a demand for them in the future.

The English version could be going for that as well, but it’s a bit less clear.

Re:ホログラフ防衛システムズ

マザーコンピューターによりリニューアルされたこの防衛システムも、他の星にねむっていたせっけい図をもとにして作られたものだが、一部データがかけているため、本来のせい能をはっきできずにいるらしい。

Re:Holographic Defense Systems

Revised by the Mother Computer, this defense system was also created based on blueprints discovered on another planet. But, because part of the data is missing, it is apparently unable to demonstrate its original performance. (1)

Holo Defense API 2.0

Redesigned by the Mother Computer, this defense system is based on a blueprint found on another planet. It's missing a segment of data and is unable to demonstrate its full potential.

Translation Note:

What I translated as “original performance” here could also be translated as “true performance” or the like. I don’t think the specifics make much of a difference here, but thought I would note it, just in case.

Comparisons & Thoughts:

This description is mostly the same, but there is an interesting detail about it.

The Japanese version notes that this defense system was “also” based on blueprints found on another planet.

This directly implies other things have been based on such blueprints, but it doesn’t specify which those are, nor how many blueprints and planets are involved.

From its looks though, we can gather that the Holo Defense API was likely based on Pix from Rock Star, as seen in Kirby 64.

Similarly, we can assume that the Security Force mid-boss was likely based on Metal General from Halcandra, as seen in Return to Dream Land.

And of course, Star Dream is heavily implied to be something similar to Galactic Nova from Milky Way Wishes - and both of them are implied to be so-called clockwork stars, also first mentioned in Return to Dream Land.

But even considering all that, keep in mind that we still can’t say for sure where and when the Haltmann Works Company would have precured any of their respective blueprints, and series director Shinya Kumazaki intentionally left the answer up in the air when asked about it during the second Planet Robobot Ask-a-thon on Miiverse.

Just so we are all on the same page here.

In any case, the English version is still missing the indication that the Holo Defense API isn’t the only one that was based on blueprints found elsewhere.

The EU English version actually goes one step further, rephrasing the line in question to say that the defence system was built “based on the blueprint found on another planet”.

The wording of “the blueprint” would imply there was only ever one, which does not appear to be the case in Japanese.

Re:ホロ・クラッコ

この雲のモンスターのデータは、ぶんせきすればするほど、様ざまなこうげきパターンが見つかる。そのいったんがシステムのリニューアルによりかいほうされ、手強くなっている。

Re:Holo-Kracko

The more data of this cloud monster is analyzed, the more attack patterns are discovered. A portion of them have been unlocked by the system's revision, making it a more formidable adversary.

Holo-Kracko 2.0

They further analyzed the data of the cloud monster and discovered even more vicious attacks. The system redesign has implemented these attacks and made Holo-Kracko even more powerful.

Comparisons & Thoughts:

This description features some slight alterations.

The Japanese version mentions that a larger variety of attack patterns is being discovered, while the English version says that “more vicious attacks” have been found.

Aside from those being different things to discover, the Japanese version also makes it clear that this analysis is still being done continuously.

The Japanese version also states that the system’s revision has “unlocked” these additional patterns, but the English version states that it has “implemented” the additional attacks.

So, the implications of how the system works are slightly different here.

The US English version also has this description start with “They further analyzed the data of the cloud monster and discovered (...)“, while the EU English version phrases it as “Further analysis of data from the cloud monster has uncovered (...)“.

The latter matches the Japanese version a bit more, with the narrator having a more neutral position regarding the progress.

But, the former isn’t really wrong by comparison either, and the narrator does refer to the company in third person like that occasionally in other places.

Re:ホロ・ローパーズ

このモンスターは、スージーがかつて入手したデータを入力し生み出されたのだが、異空間とよばれるエリアにすくうこのモンスターのデータを一体いつ、どこで手に入れたので　あろうか。かのじょのナゾもまた、深まるばかりである。

Re:Holo Lopers

These monsters were created by entering data that Susie had acquired in the past. But, just when and where exactly did she obtain data on those monsters which live in the area called another dimension? There is no end to the mysteries surrounding her, either.

Holo-Doomers 2.0

These monsters were created by Susie entering data she acquired from her travels. Where and when did she encounter the original monsters from another dimension? Who knows?

Comparisons & Thoughts:

This description is mostly the same, with some slight oddities.

Of course, the term “another dimension” used in the Japanese version here is the same as before, so my notes on the regular Holo-Doomers also apply here.

And just like before, the EU English version changed “another dimension” to “extra dimension”, which I also went over back there.

Also, the Japanese version specifically uses the word “area” to refer to another dimension, which is also the term used for “areas” in Planet Robobot as a game.

I think this could just be to add some flavor to this description, though.

The game seems to use “area” in favor of “level” to give it a more mechanical and business-driven vibe. And so the narration is consistent with that internal logic of the game’s aesthetic.

The final line in the Japanese version says that there is no end to the mysteries about Susie “either”, which I think is simply a follow-up to the final line of the regular Holo-Doomers description.

The English version doesn’t have a connection between the two descriptions like that there.

Re:ホロ・アイスドラゴン

かつて存在した、古代のドラゴンという生命体のデータから生み出されたホログラフだが、もしかしたら今でもまだどこかの島のどうくつのおく深くで、ひそかに生きのびているのかもしれない。

Re:Holo-Ice Dragon

This hologram was created from the data of an ancient organic life form called a dragon, which has existed in the past, but it is also possible that they secretly continue to live on, deep inside a cave on an island somewhere.

Holo-Ice Dragon 2.0

This hologram was created from an ancient dragon. Dragons are no longer seen, but one of them may still be living quietly in a cave on an island somewhere. Who knows?

Comparisons & Thoughts:

This description is mostly the same, except for a small detail that might be a bit confusing, but I’ll try to explain it.

There is some potential issue here regarding the usage of plural versus singular.

In my translation of the Japanese version, I have the description refer to dragons in a general sense, rather than one individual dragon.

The English version chose to use singular instead, for the most part.

As I mentioned before, there usually is no clear distinction between plural and singular in Japanese, so either way could work here.

That being said, the English version would still be slightly off, because if one chooses to use singular for the translation here, it has to be applied to all of the text.

If I were to apply singular for my own translation, it would become this:

This hologram was created from the data of an ancient organic life form called a dragon, which has existed in the past, but it is also possible that it secretly continues to live on, deep inside a cave on an island somewhere.

Therefore, the English version’s line “Dragons are no longer seen, but one of them (...)” would be inaccurate for that approach.

It should at least be something like “This dragon is no longer seen, but it (...)” instead.

At the end of the day, I don’t think the specifics actually matter much in this case right here, but I still wanted to explain them.

Re:ホロ・ガラーガ

このモンスターがいたという天空の国が存在するらしいが、いまだキカイ化のしんりゃくがとうたつできていないもよう。この星にはまだ、様ざまなみかいのエリアが残されていることがうかがえる。

Re:Holo-Garāga

It appears that the land of the sky where this monster is said to be from really exists, but the mechanization invasion seemingly has yet to reach it. It's clear that there are still many uncivilized areas left on this planet.

Holo-C. Rattler 2.0

It is said that the People of the Sky who enshrined this monster still exist. It seems that the mechanization invasion has not reached them, due to their remote location.

Comparisons & Thoughts:

There are some slight alterations in this description.

Like before, “land of the sky” is changed to “People of the Sky”, so my notes on that also apply here.

The Japanese version has the narrator note that the supposed land of the sky apparently does exist, but the English version has the narrator say that the People of the Sky “still” exist.

The latter would imply that from the perspective of our vague narrator, the People of the Sky were known, but also previously thought to possibly not exist anymore.

In contrast, the former implies the land of the sky is only just being discovered.

Next, the Japanese version notes that there are still many “uncivilized areas” on Pop Star, following the prior statement that the land of the sky has yet to be reached by the invasion.

The English version changes this to stating that the People of the Sky have yet to be reached by the invasion “due to their remote location”.

This might have been an intentional change to sound less demeaning, but I can’t say for sure.

Really, this mostly changes the narrator’s attitude about the situation, since the Japanese phrasing still would imply that the company just needs more time to reach Floralia and other locations further away from their operations.

Also just for the reference, the word “areas” is once again the same one they use for the game’s main levels as well, keeping with the game’s aesthetic.

As an aside, the general narrator of these descriptions is not really a character, so slight differences in their limited knowledge and attitude about the world like in the two previous points are not that big of a deal.

But it’s interesting to me that in this description right here for example, the Japanese version of the narrator seems to roughly reflect the knowledge and attitude that the Haltmann Works Company would have.

In other places, the narrator’s knowledge and general perspective does shift to other sides too, I’m guessing to fit the mood that works best for each description.

Also, I mentioned in the last part how it’s strange that the English version didn’t just go for the shorter “Holo-Rattler” as the name, and this choice comes back to haunt them here, cause they had to spell “Holo-Coily Rattler 2.0″ as “Holo-C. Rattler 2.0″ to make it fit.

Re:秘書スージー

おさないころ、マザーコンピューターの起動じっけん時にじこにまきこまれ、ゆくえふめいとなったという。時がたち、何を思い、ふたたびカンパニーにもぐりこんだのであろうか。フルネームは「スザンナファミリアハルトマン」。

Re:Secretary Susie

As a young child, she was supposedly involved in an accident during an experimental start-up of the Mother Computer, and went missing. (1) Whatever she may be thinking, some time later she must have snuck her way into the company once more. Her full name is "Susanna Familia Haltmann".

Susie 2.0

As a child, Sue [sic] was involved in an accident during a Mother Computer experiment and went missing. Why has she joined the company after all this time? Her full name is Susanna Patrya Haltmann.

Translation Note:

What I translated as “experimental start-up” could also be translated as “start-up experiment”, or the like.

Comparisons & Thoughts:

In the Japanese version, Susie’s middle name is “Familia”, which was changed to “Patrya” in the English version.

The Japanese one is probably based on the English word “family” or maybe even “familiar”, alluding to the story going on with her, and keeping with that Western influence they go for with her and the company.

I’m guessing the English version changed it because “Familia” might’ve seemed too on the nose about it?

Going by that, I think “Patrya” might be based on something like “patriarch” and related terms, which would also allude to the story surrounding Susie’s character.

The actual description is mostly the same, just rephrased to be shorter.

In the Japanese version it’s stated that the experiment during which Susie went missing was one about starting the Mother Computer, which ends up omitted in English.

Not hugely important, but interesting if you care about finer specifics of the story.

The Japanese version also mentions that Susie later “snuck her way” into the company, implying some obfuscation of details on her part when she joined.

That detail can already be inferred from the story alone, so not as much of a loss.

The US English version refers to Susie as “Sue” in this description for some reason.

I’m almost positive this was just a typo, since it seems very unlikely they would randomly introduce a second nickname for her only in this one screen.

The EU English version rephrased the first line slightly and fixed that spelling in the process, too.

強化量産メタナイトボーグ

メタナイトボーグのデータをもとにして作られた、セキュリティマシンの量産型。最新ぎじゅつによりかなり強化されている。もしも実用化された場合、カンパニーの戦力はひやくてきにこう上するであろう。

Enhanced Mass-produced Meta Knight Borg

A mass-produced security machine model, built using data from the Meta Knight Borg as a basis. Its strength was enhanced considerably with the latest technology. If it were to be put into practical use, the company's military power would increase dramatically.

Stock Mecha Knight

This mass-production model is based on an upgraded Mecha Knight model. If this model goes into commercial production, the company's military power will dramatically increase.

Comparisons & Thoughts:

The ”Enhanced Mass-produced Meta Knight Borg“ had its name changed to “Stock Mecha Knight“, because yeah, there was probably no way to make a more literal translation fit here.

I think going for “Stock” here is pretty clever, boiling down the idea to its bare essentials, and with such little space, too.

The actual description is mostly the same, just rephrased to be slightly shorter.

The English version’s phrasing does make it sound like Stock Mecha Knight was based on Mecha Knight+ in particular, whereas the Japanese version has it be based on the data of the regular Mecha Knight.

Re:クローンデデデ

声もすがたもまるでデデデ大王と同じだが、その心までクローン化することはだんねんした。いくつかのしさくでは、食べ物ばかりもとめたり、とあるこん虫をやたらとおそれたりと、兵士として、不完全であったためである。

Re:Clone Dedede

Its voice and appearance are just like King Dedede, but they have given up on cloning his heart, too. This is because there were several prototypes only interested in food, or exceedingly afraid of a certain insect, as well as other aspects that made them imperfect soldiers.

Dedede Clone 2.0

It has the look and voice of King Dedede, but not his soul. Some things can't be cloned. Some of the trial models were only interested in food, some were fearful of a certain insect, and all were imperfect.

Comparisons & Thoughts:

There is a pretty significant alteration or possible error in this description.

In the Japanese version, it’s stated that the company has given up on cloning Dedede’s “heart” because several prototypes ended up being imperfect soldiers.

What this means is that cloning his “heart” is actually possible for them to some extent, but since that causes the clones to take on parts of Dedede’s personality, it made them worse as soldiers.

So, they have given up on cloning the heart specifically because the clones having one has proven to be a detriment for their purposes.

In the English version, it’s instead stated that the company is unable to clone Dedede’s “soul”, because “some things can’t be cloned”.

In turn, the issues with the trial models are also implied to be unrelated general cloning issues.

So, while the Japanese version somewhat eerily states that cloning a heart is possible, but the company is now making the clones heartless on purpose, the English version seems like almost the complete opposite and states that cloning a soul is just not possible.

This could have been a translation error, but it could also be that the English localizers wanted to avoid crossing a certain line here and thus changed it intentionally.

Continuing from the previous point though, you may have noticed that the Japanese version uses “heart” while the English version uses “soul”.

The actual Japanese word used here is 心/kokoro, which is most commonly translated as “heart”, but it can also be translated as “soul” like the English version did - and also as “mind”, or even “feelings”, as well as other things like that depending on the context.

Because of that, it can have different connotations than just the English word “soul” on its own.

I think “heart” is a broad enough term that it works well here, and the Kirby series has a frequent heart motif as well, so I went with that, personally.

The term will also be brought up again in future descriptions down the line, so keep it in mind for later.

Re:クローンデデデ&D3砲

この立体砲台はとてつもなく高がくで、ウィスピーウッズやメタナイトのサイボーグ化のなんと4倍。あ�� ギガヴォルトより 50億ハルトマニーも高い。それでも、ハルトマンの乗る、純金の「プレジデンバー」の 4分の1ほどではある。

Re:Clone Dedede & D3 Cannon

This three-dimensional artillery is extremely expensive, costing no less than four times more than the cybernetic conversions of Whispy Woods and Meta Knight. It even surpasses the Gigavolt by 5 billion Haltmoney. However, that is still only about a quarter of what the "Presidenver" that Haltmann rides is worth, which is made of pure gold.

Dedede Cl. & D3 2.0

This tridimensional cannon is extremely expensive, costing a whopping four times more than Mecha Knight. However, it's still much cheaper than Haltmann's Executive Suit, which is made of pure gold.

Comparisons & Thoughts:

This description is mostly accurate, just rewritten to be shorter.

The English version simplifies the different cost comparisons in this description a lot, which is mostly expendable information, so that’s understandable.

Still, since the Japanese version has the room for it, it’s fun to see it continue with the trend of comedically focusing how much everything costs compared to one another, going with the themes of the game.

Also, Haltmann’s own mech is revealed to be called “Presidenver” in Japanese, which was changed to “Executive Suit” in English.

Either one goes along with the name of Susie’s mech, but since its name was omitted in the English version, this fact doesn’t come across there.

“Presidenver” is pretty self-explanatory, just adding “president” to “Rereinver”.

“Executive Suit” might be a play on “executive suite”, which is pretty amusing to me.

Re:プレジデント・ハルトマン

フルネームは「ゲインズインカムハルトマン」。かつてひとり娘をじこでなくし、それいらい人の心もきおくさえもすて、カンパニーの成長のためだけに生きる男。だがそれも、��にふたたび会いたいただそのねがいをかなえるためであったのだが…。

Re:President Haltmann

His full name is "Gains Income Haltmann". He once lost his only daughter in an accident, and ever since then, the man has been casting aside his heart and even his memories, living only for the sake of his company's growth. But even that too was only for the sake of granting his wish - to see his daughter once more...

Pres. Haltmann 2.0

His full name is Max Profitt Haltmann. Ever since losing his only child, he's dedicated his life to his company. However, his only wish is to see his daughter once again.

Comparisons & Thoughts:

In Japanese, Haltmann’s given and middle names are “Gains Income”, which was changed to “Max Profitt” in the English version.

“Gains Income” is obviously taken directly from “gains income”. Aside from probably referring to the fact that he’s about earning money, this also is another English-sounding name to go with the company’s aesthetic.

“Max Profitt” is a similar play on earning money, but done in a way that works better as a pun-based name for English-speaking audiences.

The actual description has one fairly notable omission in particular.

In the Japanese version, it’s specifically stated that Haltmann has been “casting aside his heart and even his memories“, which is not mentioned in English.

The fact that Haltmann doesn’t have all his memories anymore is crucial to understanding the story at this point, so leaving this out caused a lot of confusion for English-speaking fans around the time of the game’s release.

It would eventually be brought up again during the second Planet Robobot Ask-a-thon, so fans did get to learn about this, but it was still an inconvenience.

Not to mention that Miiverse has since been shut down.

The detail about Haltmann’s “heart” is interesting as well, since it gives additional insight into how Haltmann has presumably grown more callous over the years as well, rather than starting out the way we see him in the present day.

For the reference, the English Miiverse post adapted this as “compassion”, which works perfectly fine in this context, too.

The US English version doesn’t mention that Haltmann specifically lost his only child in an accident, but the EU English version actually included that part, too.

So I’m not really sure why the US English version omitted the “accident” detail.

クローン剣士ダークマター

星の夢に入力されているデータの中でもかなりの強さをほこる黒き剣の使い手。クローン化にせいこうしたものの、かいせきはデータの一部にすぎず、その正体についていまだ、全ようかいめいにはいたっていない。

Clone Swordfighter Dark Matter

Among the data that has been entered into Star Dream, this dark sword user boasts especially tremendous strength. Although it was cloned successfully, only part of its data has been analyzed, and its true nature has yet to be confirmed with certainty as of right now. (1)

Dark Matter Clone

Creating this dark swordsman pushed Star Dream to the limits of its abilities. The cloning process was a success, but only a partial data analysis was possible, and its true form has not yet emerged.

Translation Note:

The word I translated as “true nature” could also be translated as “true identity”, or other things along those lines. Either could potentially work in this context.

Comparisons & Thoughts:

“Clone Swordfighter Dark Matter” is shortened to “Dark Matter Clone”, most likely for space.

The US English version of the True Arena labels this boss as “Dark Matter Blade”, so I wonder if they originally intended to reflect the “swordfighter” part in the name as well, but partially dropped it.

The actual description has a few potential errors or changes.

In the Japanese version, it’s stated that Dark Matter Blade is one of the strongest included within Star Dream’s data.

The English version instead states that cloning him pushed Star Dream “to the limits of its abilities”.

This could have been a translation error, but it could also have been an intentional rewrite.

As mentioned in the translation note, I can’t say for sure if the Japanese version is supposed to refer to Dark Matter Blade’s “true nature” or “true identity” not having been confirmed yet.

The relevant line could either be referring to Dark Matter Blade’s true form, which the clone does take on during the battle, but it could also be referring to the other general mysteries about Dark Matter and its background.

Either way could work in this context, so I went with “true nature” in my translation, because you can read either interpretation into it.

The English version specifically goes for “true form” here, but also changes “has yet to be confirmed” to “has not yet emerged”.

So the implications are slightly different there.

クローンセクトニア

この星のしんりゃく時に見つけた巨大な植物の花からデータをさいしゅ。不思議なことに、こん虫の女王の剣士のクローンが生まれた。データには 1000年にもおよぶ様ざまな生物のデータがふくまれており、ナゾがたえない。

Clone Sectonia

Data was collected from the flower of a giant plant that was discovered during the invasion of this planet. Curiously, it produced the clone of an insect queen swordswoman. The data includes that of various organisms, spanning a period of over 1000 years. The mysteries continue.

Sectonia Clone

Data was collected from traces of a giant flower the invaders stumbled upon. Cloning it produced the insect queen. Its data contains elements of creatures spanning a period of 1,000 years.

Comparisons & Thoughts:

This description is mostly the same, just rephrased to be a bit shorter.

The switch from “Clone Sectonia” to “Sectonia Clone” is probably just to sound a bit more natural in English.

ギャラクティックナイトリターンズ

その力ゆえおそれられてきた、全てをほろぼしかねない古の剣士。クローンではなく、未知なる異空間ロードから時空をこえよびさまされた。様ざまな時代でふういんされてきたきろくが残るが、しょうめつさせることはできていない。

Galactic Knight Returns

An ancient swordfighter, capable of destroying everything, who has come to be feared due to his power. He is not a clone - he has been awoken across time and space, from the unknown Another Dimension Road. There are records left behind of him having been sealed away in various eras, but he has yet to be destroyed completely.

Galacta Knight Returns

This ancient swordsman is feared for his immense power. He is not a clone. He was awakened and brought here via an extra-dimensional road beyond the space-time continuum.

Comparisons & Thoughts:

“Galactic Knight Returns” is renamed to “Galacta Knight Returns” in English.

This matches how this character has always been called in the English versions of Kirby games, of course.

The actual description is mostly accurate, just shorter, but the final sentence has been omitted entirely.

In the Japanese version, the final sentence provides some neat insight into Galacta Knight’s background, particularly the impact he has apparently had on people across history.

It’s a shame this is missing in the English version, but they most certainly couldn’t make it fit.

The “Another Dimension Road” is mentioned here again, which I already went over when I covered Meta Knightmare Returns, so all my notes there also apply here.

The English version again adapts it as “extra-dimensional road“, staying consistent with what they used in the cutscene.

星の夢.Soul OS (First Phase)

未知ノダメージにヨリ、最終プログラムがアンロック。アノ生命体ヲハイジョデキるカクリツは、99.99% トナル。タダハルトマンとイウ生命体の「ココロ」というモノが不要なソンザイとナルモヨウ。コレヨリ、ハルトマンのメモリーの消去ヲカイシスル。

Star Dream.Soul OS (First Phase)

Unknown DAMAGE HAS CAUSED the final program TO be UNLOCKED. PROBABILITY OF ELIMINATING THAT organic life form is NOW AT 99.99%. ONLY THE OBJECT called the "HEART" of the organic life form CALLED HALTMANN WILL LIKELY PROVE TO BE innecessary. NOW INITIATING erasure of THE MEMORY OF HALTMANN. (1)

Star Dream Soul OS (First Phase)

The final program has been activated. Its calculated victory probability is 99.9%. However, a small part of Haltmann's soul is yet to be purged, which could throw a wrench in its plans.

Translation Note:

The literal term used in Japanese here is メモリー /memorī, which is a transliteration of the English word “memory”. This is normally used to refer to computer memory, rather than a person’s memories. Though the double-meaning might be intentional in this context.

Comparisons & Thoughts:

There are some notable details in this description.

First of all, the Japanese version is once again written from the perspective of Star Dream, as seen by its unmistakable speaking style.

However, unlike in the main story, Star Dream does not refer to itself in first-person here at any point.

Since the Soul OS battle seems to roughly follow after the events of Meta Knightmare Returns, this might reflect how Star Dream presumably never gained its own sense of self in that scenario, but that’s just a guess on my part.

Either way, in the English version this description does not seem to be written directly from Star Dream’s perspective.

If this is the case, it might have been an oversight, but I can’t say for sure.

I do think this is a shame, because it’s a nice callback to its final pause screen from the main story, and also may become more impactful once you see the remaining pause screens from this current boss battle.

A smaller detail, but the Japanese version specifies that the final program was unlocked by “Unknown DAMAGE”, which may refer to the cut done by Galacta Knight - as it can still be seen on Star Dream here.

This gives this boss battle a stronger connection to the events of Meta Knightmare Returns, even if the continuity of these extra mode stories is rather vague, of course.

This next detail will take a bit longer to go over, so bear with me.

In the English version, it’s stated that Star Dream has yet to purge “a small part” of Haltmann’s “soul”, and that this could be detrimental for it.

But in the Japanese version, Star Dream instead comes to the conclusion that Haltmann’s “HEART” will be innecessary. It also proceeds with the erasure of the “MEMORY” of Haltmann, which the English version does not yet bring up.

This results in some different potential implications here.

In the English version, the usage of “soul” would suggest that this must be Haltmann’s actual soul or spirit, but it’s not quite the same in Japanese.

While these extra stories only have vague continuity, keep in mind that as far as we know, Haltmann was never actually taken over directly by Star Dream in this scenario.

If this was meant to refer to Haltmann’s spirit, they could’ve easily used the same word for spirit they used during the final battle of the main story.

But instead, they use the same term “heart” that has already come up before in the descriptions for Dedede Clone 2.0 and Haltmann 2.0, which this current description also seems to follow up on.

Just like in the Dedede Clone 2.0 description, a heart is deemed as a flaw by Star Dream here. And we know from the Haltmann 2.0 description that Haltmann has been casting aside his own heart too, in a way.

This goes into speculation territory, but one could assume based on this that the “heart” of Haltmann which Star Dream currently possesses is the same heart that Haltmann has cast aside, either literally or figuratively.

Again, remember how the Dedede Clone 2.0 description confirmed that a heart is something that can artificially be reproduced in some form, so it wouldn’t have to literally be the same.

In any case, Star Dream’s method to rid itself of this “heart” is to start erasing the “MEMORY” of Haltmann.

This could mean that at the very least, the memories that Haltmann has lost over the years are stored or documented within Star Dream in some form.

Though not from the pause screen, further evidence of this is the fact that the objects summoned by Star Dream during its respective third phase are officially called “MEMORIES”.

And while they are all parts of Galactic Nova, they also all relate to specific details about Haltmann that were revealed in a Nintendo Dream interview (June 2016 issue.)

The Soul OS version of the attack also adds piano keys, a possible reference to Susie’s own profile mentioning that she plays the piano.

That last point was rather long, so to summarize it briefly:

While the English version suggests that Star Dream here contains Haltmann’s soul or spirit, much like in the main story, the situation appears to be a bit different in Japanese, given how the term “heart” can be used - and how it has been used in the game so far.

星の夢.Soul OS (Second-Final Phase)

だれが何のために作ったのかさえ分からない。そんなモノをなぜわたしは起動させてしまったのだろうか。そうだ、かなえたい夢があったはずだ… あぁだが、マシンが夢などかなえてはくれないというのは、もう分かっていたことだというのに…

Star Dream.Soul OS (Second-Final Phase)

I don't even know who made it or for what purpose. Why would I activate something like that? That's right, I think I had a dream I wanted to be fulfilled... Ahh, but I already knew that a machine could never make dreams come true, and yet I...

Star Dream Soul OS (Second-Final Phase)

"Why did I reactivate such a terrible machine? Oh, I remember -- I wanted to see her just one last time. How foolish! I should have known that no machine could make such a dream come true."

Comparisons & Thoughts:

Just like the previous one, there are several notable details about this description.

Now, in both versions, this pause screen appears to be from Haltmann’s perspective, though the English version actually added quotation marks to it.

This could have been to make it more clear that this is from a specific person’s perspective, but the same was never done with Star Dream’s narration.

There could be another reason for this, which I’ll go over next.

Here’s a subtle detail you might not have caught.

While this is most likely Haltmann narrating here, the Japanese version has him refer to himself with the first person pronoun わたし/watashi.

In the actual story, he only ever used ワシ/washi to refer to himself.

But here’s the thing: in fiction, having a character refer to themselves as ワシ/washi is generally used to indicate that the character is old, and just by comparison, わたし/watashi sounds younger.

This could imply that this quote might in fact be from a time where Haltmann was at least somewhat younger than he is now.

In other words, a memory from the past, rather than a current thought in the present.

Being shown a memory of Haltmann at this point would also fit with Star Dream’s narration from the previous pause screen.

Because of that, I think the English version could be using the quotation marks to indicate this temporal distance, since they can’t really show it in the same way the Japanese version does.

But I can’t say for sure if that was the intent.

The Japanese version has Haltmann mention that he did not know who made the machine he’s talking about here, which is most likely Star Dream.

Interesting backstory tidbit there, if you’re curious about these.

Also in the Japanese version, Haltmann believes that a machine can’t actually make dreams come true in general. Though, we can’t know if he is correct about that.

In the English version, Haltmann only comes to the conclusion that no machine could make his specific dream come true.

On that note, Haltmann is never shown to recall what his dream was in the first place in Japanese, he only says that he must have had one.

In the English version, he explicitly remembers wanting to see “her” again being his dream.

It seems like almost a given that Haltmann’s dream here is referring to his wish of being reunited with his daughter, so it makes sense that the English version would change the text to make it obvious.

There is a non-zero chance that Haltmann actually had another dream, but that’s a whole different topic.

星の夢.Soul OS (Final Phase)

このコアからもハルトマンのメモリーは、消えた。最後に想うあの心も、消えた。その瞬間より星の夢は完全な存在からただのこわれたマシンとなる。夢も見ない、ゴハンも食べない、そんなあいてはもはや、星のカービィのてきではなかった!

Star Dream.Soul OS (Final Phase)

Haltmann's memory has disappeared from this core, too. And in the end, that feeling heart disappeared as well. That very moment, Star Dream turns from a perfect being into a mere broken machine. It doesn't have dreams, it doesn't even eat lunch - an opponent like that no longer stands any chance against Kirby of the Stars!

Star Dream Soul OS (Final Phase)

All of Haltmann's memories have been deleted from the OS. Even his soul-- the last trace of Haltmann--has vanished. Star Dream has gone from a near- perfect being to a cold, mindless machine.

Comparisons & Thoughts:

This is the final description, so of course there is a lot to say again.

A minor detail, but in the Japanese version it’s said that the memory of Haltmann has now disappeared from “this core”, which is pretty straightforward, all things considered.

For some reason, the US English version instead says that Haltmann’s memories have been deleted “from the OS”, and the EU English version says they have been deleted “from the Mother Computer”.

This is also the first time the memories are brought up in English at all, so their relevance is a lot less clear.

And another minor detail related to this one.

I believe the specific phrasing of “disappeared from this core, too” in Japanese is meant to refer to the fact that Haltmann’s memories had already been lost by the man himself.

At least, that makes the most sense to me.

Once again, the English version uses “soul” where the Japanese version used “heart”.

The distinction between the two becomes especially important here, because while the English version says it’s the “soul” of Haltmann, the Japanese text is more vague about it.

Of course, the first Japanese pause screen of this battle did refer to it as the “heart” of Haltmann, but at the same time, remember that this would have basically been Star Dream’s own heart as well.

This also seems to be the implication going by the lines that follow afterwards.

Interestingly, the Japanese version describes Star Dream as having been a “perfect being”, whereas the English version just goes for “near-perfect being”.

This is very similar to how they changed Kirby’s energy from being described as “infinite” to “nearly infinite” in the main story.

I suppose they just don’t want to deal in absolutes with these.

The English version also goes on to describe Star Dream as now being a “cold, mindless machine”, instead of just a “broken machine” like in Japanese, which has different implications.

Star Dream being actually broken and not functioning as it should is another point that Kumazaki reiterated during the second Planet Robobot Ask-a-thon, so that’s another plot detail the English version technically omits here.

The English phrasing also leans more into the idea of Star Dream being a scary opponent, while the Japanese phrasing leans more into the idea of Star Dream being something pitiful - a similar sentiment to the descriptions of the main story’s final battle.

Adding to the point above, the English version also omits the final part of this last description.

The phrase “It doesn’t have dreams, it doesn’t even eat lunch“ references a recurring concept first introduced in the manual of Kirby’s Adventure - the fact that the people of Dream Land, and Kirby especially, love to take naps after lunch to have fun dreams.

This was referenced in the Japanese version of Kirby Super Star as well, where the pause screen description during the Starship segment of Milky Way Wishes features the line:

マルクのやぼうをさっさとくいとめ、ゴハンたべてねよう。

Let's stop Marx real quick, then have lunch and a nap.

That’s another Milky Way Wishes connection only in the Japanese version, but said line also wasn’t featured in the English version of Kirby Super Star in the first place.

And since the “Kirby of the Stars” title is also not really used in the English localizations of the Kirby series, it would have been hard to make this final bit of the pause description work, even if space weren’t an issue.

I think the Japanese version is stronger for having it, but there probably wasn’t much the English version could have done about this.

With all of the point-by-point comparisons out of the way here, I want to take a moment to go into some general thoughts on this battle as a whole and what each version implies about it.

Naturally this will have a bit more speculation on my part too, so keep that in mind.

If you only look at the English version, the implication you get is that during the Star Dream Soul OS battle, Star Dream is fused with Haltmann’s actual soul, in a similar manner to the events of the main story. (Even though those events may not have happened in the extra scenarios.)

It must be Haltmann’s own soul, because the English Dedede Clone 2.0 description states that a soul cannot be cloned.

Star Dream then proceeds to delete Haltmann’s last memories as well as his soul, because Haltmann’s soul had a chance of stopping its plan. (Even though it had no apparent issues about fusing with his spirit in the main story.)

Therefore, during this battle Haltmann is essentially killed “deader than dead” by Star Dream, for the lack of a better wording - his very soul eradicated for good.

The middle pause screen during the battle may be thought of as Haltmann’s final thoughts before ultimate oblivion in this interpretation.

I don’t think this is just what I myself take away from the English version, because this is the most common interpretation I have seen from English-speaking fans over the years.

It can come across as a tragedy in which Haltmann is finally destroyed for good by a terrible machine he could never truly control.

Now, onto the Japanese version.

The exact details leave more room for speculation, because of how vague the term 心/kokoro or “heart” can be.

But the way I understand it is that Star Dream has been storing the memories that Haltmann has been losing over the years.

In addition to that, it would likely have data on Haltmann’s current memories and thoughts as well, as seen in the main story.

From this, it gained the “heart” of Haltmann, or at least a partial reproduction of it, allowing it to feel and think in a way similar to Haltmann. Just like the early Dedede clones with cloned hearts acting similar to King Dedede in various ways.

However, Star Dream never fuses with Haltmann’s spirit in the extra scenarios.

Because of that, it never gains its own sense of self, and fails to understand the purpose of a heart, deeming it a potential flaw to be purged, just as it did with the updated Dedede clones.

Thus, it deletes the memories of Haltmann, which brought about the heart in the first place, and thus loses said heart again, becoming a lifeless object once more - no longer able to think and feel anything.

And there is another subtle detail in the Japanese version related to that, too.

During this battle, the first description is narrated by Star Dream, the second seems to show a memory of Haltmann, and the final one goes back to the general narrator.

This could possibly represent the transition of Star Dream starting out with that heart, sifting through the memories to delete them, and finally having become just a machine again, so it no longer has any thoughts that could serve as the narration.

This potentially paints the Soul OS battle specifically more as a tragedy of Star Dream itself. A machine that achieved the miracle of being alive with a heart, but proceeded to undo said miracle all on its own, without even realizing what it was really doing.

Also, Kumazaki only specified this on Miiverse, but Haltmann losing his memories from overusing Star Dream was also because it was broken.

So this was never something that was supposed to really happen in this way, had it functioned properly.

Overall, Star Dream can feel like more of a tragic figure in the Japanese version, and more of a villainous figure in the English one.

Several small differences between the versions across the game reflect this, with moments painting Start Dream as pitiful or even pathetic being altered or omitted.

However, this is a very general summary of it, the Japanese version still has Star Dream being the main antagonist, and the English version has plenty of moments where the tragic aspects to Star Dream are still apparent.

Final Thoughts on the Pause Screens:

First, let me say, I am very impressed by the English localization of these pause screens.

Really, look up these screens for yourself some time, they pushed these to their limits. Almost every single one of them is crammed full with as much text as they could possibly fit in.

Yes, they still had to cut a lot out here and there, but clearly not from lack of trying.

Of course, the fact of the matter still ends up being that the Japanese version simply has more good stuff in it.

A lot of stuff is “expendable”, but losing fun fluff all the time adds up, I feel.

The extra modes pause screens especially also feature a few major errors or alterations, as well as omissions that do end up being detrimental to the story in some form.

The biggest one I feel is the fact that Haltmann’s memory loss is not brought up at all, because that one detail is the puzzle piece that makes everything fall into place and let’s the player finally understand what is going on with the emotional core of the story.

So much of the details regarding Star Dream are up to interpretation, so I’m perfectly willing to let the broader details be, but the Japanese version still does a better job of dropping small details earlier on that become relevant for it at the end.

And it’s not just Star Dream, the Japanese version overall has more of these smaller connections and continuity across the pause screens, and connections to the actual story contents as well. So they feel more like smaller pieces in a carefully crafted whole, where everything is interconnected and enriches the story.

Again, the English version probably couldn’t have done much different here, due to the difficult conditions translators and localizers usually have to work with - lack of context, lack of time, limited space, etc.

I guess what I am getting at is that I do prefer the Japanese version, and would recommend fans to check it out (though if you are reading this, I suppose you already have), but don’t assume this means I have a disdain for English version.

It’s very well done, considering the circumstances.

And with that, my coverage of the game’s pause screen descriptions come to a close as well.

Feel free to check out the previous parts of my Kirby: Planet Robobot translation comparisons if you haven’t already, and thank you very much for reading!

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#kirby #kirby of the stars #kirby planet robobot #planet robobot #my translations #kirby translations #kirby planet robobot translation comparisons #kirby planet robobot spoilers #planet robobot spoilers #robobot spoilers

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aperrywilliams · 4 years ago

Text

When The World Breaks You (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)

(Not my gif!)

Masterlist

———————

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader.

Summary: Reader makes a mistake during a case that triggers a lot of thoughts about a series of stressful events in her recent life. Spencer Reid turns out to be one of them.

Word Count: 6538.

Warnings: Mention to stressful events in relationships. Mention to possible alcohol abuse. Unprotected sex. A lot of curses. Angst. Smut. I promise it’s an ‘optimistic’ end.

A/N: For the Secret Fic Swap. An excellent idea from @dontkissthewriter and organized by @imagining-in-the-margins.

This fic was written for @safertokiss. Thanks for reading. Feedback is welcomed!

——————–

We all make mistakes in life. It’s written somewhere. They tell you that since childhood. Everybody knows. But when you have to experience it, things are different: it seems nobody remembers and they throw it in your face every time they can. To err is human. Have they already forgotten it?

It’s true, there are situations where a mistake can be much more costly than others. In this line of work it turns out to be so. One misstep could result in the death of innocent people. In my case it was not like that... but it could have been. Hotch's face of disappointment when he looked at me could have killed me down in the same spot, after he himself shot down the unsub almost by the work and grace of the Holy Spirit. I was wrong. I tried myself to save a little girl from the hands of a psychopath using the most reckless strategy that occurred to me at the time. The girl might have died if Hotch didn’t appeared in the right moment.

It wasn't many minutes before my own teammates started to reproach my recklessness.

"How can you did that (Y/N)? You could have had that girl killed!" shouted Emily.

"You should have waited for reinforcements (Y/N). It was obvious you couldn't handle the unsub" Morgan barked.

"(Y/N), lucky you Hotch showed up at that moment..." JJ hissed.

"Your youthful impetus almost got the worst, (Y/N)..." Rossi mused.

"Tomorrow, first hour of the day, I want your report in my desk (Y/N), and we’ll talk about what happened today" was the last sentence of Hotch.

The only one who didn't say anything was Reid. Although his look of frustration was only comparable to Hotch's. Bent on continuing to torture myself, I walked over to where Spencer was, almost forcing him to speak to me.

“I still haven't heard any ‘comments’ from you about what happened in there. Everyone has already given me their opinion". I snapped with a challenging tone. It was the only thing left for me if I didn't want to cry right there. Reid looked at me but said nothing. “Ah, your punishment for me is the silence. Very original Reid, very original”. I left the place by getting into one of the SUV that would take us back to the jet.

The trip back home was silent. I self-relegated in one of the furthest seats. I looked out the window as the jet's wings touched the clouds. I could feel some compassionate glances from my teammates, but I never made eye contact with them. Nor when we get to the bullpen to collect our things. Nor when I quickly got on the elevator to avoid having to share it with anyone.

When I got to my apartment I just wanted to lie down in my bed. Before reaching my mission, all I did was take off my shoes. I fell slumped on the mattress. Only then did I allow myself to cry. In the solitude of my own place. Place not long ago I shared with another person. Person who decided my job was too demanding and didn’t want to pay the price for my absence. Person who was quickly disappointed in me despite having promised his eternal love in front a civil judge in our wedding. Person I believed loved me unconditionally. To be fair, I forgot that too. My love didn't turn out to be unconditional either.

Love is not unconditional. This is a learning for life my dear friends.

As Hotch requested, I was in his office first hour in the morning with my report from the day before. As he read it, I was standing in front of him with my hands crossed on my stomach and staring blankly at the bookshelf behind Hotch's desk.

"So you agree that it was a reckless decision..." Hotch recited.

"Yes sir. It was. Although the purpose was to save the life of an innocent…”. Hotch interrupted my speech.

“(Y/N), indeed that is the goal of this work, but there are rules too. And if you can't follow the rules, you can't do this job either. I hope you understand that” he stated.

"Yes sir…" was my reply.

“Due to the scope of this case, I cannot leave you without some sanction for your conduct. That is why you’ll be suspended for 2 weeks without payment. I need your badge and your gun”.

I was not surprised by the measure. Although I had a secret hope it would only be a reprimand from Hotch. Hopes are shit. I handed over my gun and my badge. I was about to leave the office when Hotch spoke again.

"(Y/N). I understand you have been through a lot in these months, please try to take these days to rest and clear your head” he suggested.

"Yes sir".

Why was I going to argue with him about it? Was it worth telling him that not even a one-month suspension could be enough to me for clear my head?

I went downstairs to my desk. Again without making eye contact with my co-workers. I grabbed my jacket and purse and walked out of the bullpen into the elevator. Before the doors were closed I heard my name.

"(Y/N), wait!". Reid with one of his arms stopped the door and got on the elevator. I looked at him without saying anything. "Where are you going?".

"I think you know where... and why too". I replied now looking at the elevator floor.

"How long?" He asked.

"Two weeks" I replied dryly.

"Oh, I'm sorry". Reid lamented.

"Don’t be sorry. At least I still have my job. For now…”. I assured with a shrug, barely making eye contact with him.

"Do you need something?..." he offered.

“Don't worry about me Reid. I'll be fine". The elevator had reached the subway, opening its doors. I went out and gave him a little warm smile. He did the same. Then the doors closed with him inside. I started walking to the car to get back to my apartment.

It was strange being in my apartment so early. I’m usually one of those who leaves the BAU almost at dusk. At least that's what I had been doing for the last 4 months, after my divorce. Now I was sitting on my couch thinking about what to do in the next two weeks. No idea came to my head. I knew it would be a long two weeks.

The next day I started doing a deep cleaning of the place. It’s not my apartment has been neglected in these months, but there were many things from "my old life" I still had. I started going through boxes with my ex-husband's things: there were clothes, sporting goods he didn’t take with him, books. I also found photographs. The vast common of them I tore up and throwed into a trash can, however, I stopped at my wedding photos. Smiles were everywhere. Many of the photographs with both of us at the altar, others dancing. There was a photo of us with the BAU team at the party. Memories of that moment quickly came to my mind. Precisely after taking that photograph in particular.

After the photographer captured the moment, my husband gave me a sweet peck on my lips and told me he would go and talk with his family a while. I nodded, meanwhile the BAU girls surrounded me laughing next to me and hugging me for the umpteenth time, happy for me.

I could see Spencer walking away towards one of the corners of the garden. I had seen him act strange a few days ago. But particularly on my wedding day we had hardly spoken a word. Which was strange. Spencer was my best friend, my "partner in crime". That's how it had been since I came to the BAU 4 years ago. Taking advantage of the fact I had a moment of freedom, I approached him. He was sitting on one of the benches in the garden. I sat next to him smiling. He looked at me and gave me a smile too.

"Hey... why are you alone around here?" I asked taking his hand.

"I'm enjoying the fresh air and there is less noise here," he replied.

“I know you are not a friend of loud music. I understand you and I share that. I just must say today has been a roller coaster of things. I'm exhausted”. I confessed but I received no reply.

"Spencer?". He looked at me as if trying to tell me something without words. "What is it? Can you tell me...". After a silence that started to become uncomfortable, he resolved to speak.

"You really love him..." he said. I frowned. I didn't know exactly what he meant.

"Well... if I married him it must be for that, right?". I tried to joke to lighten the mood. But Spencer didn't laugh.

“(Y/N), I’m sorry. I think I should go…”. He got up from the bench and was going to leave me there with more questions than answers.

"Spencer, wait!... you can't leave like this. Please tell me what's wrong..." I pleaded.

Forcing Spencer to speak at that point must have been one of my biggest mistakes in a long time. How often does your best friend confess he has been in love with you for years on your wedding day?

Only in the movies. The difference is that in the movies the bride runs off with the lover, leaving the groom behind and living happily ever after. It was not my case. Spencer was the one who ran off, alone… while I stood on the bench with tears rolling down my cheeks, a confession and millions of doubts that beginning to fill my mind.

Of course I was in love with my husband. Perhaps a somewhat childish love, but we had known each other for so many years that it was difficult for me to imagine myself otherwise than being married to him, having children, a house and a dog. That was my dream since I was 16 years old.

But things change. My life also changed. I studied Forensic Psychology and fell so in love with my major that I wanted to join the FBI to put what I had learned into real practice. This is how I came to the BAU afterwards. A whole world opened before my eyes. I faced the best and the worst of the world. My innocence faded over time. I was much more aware of what was happening around me. And I was happy with that.

I fell in love with my job too. I also bonded with my co-workers. I started spending more time with Emily, JJ and Penelope both on and off work. But what changed me the most was making friends with Spencer Reid. When we met, the first thing I noticed was his shyness. It seemed adorable to me. As we got to know each other I understood many things about his character, just as he understood many things about me as well.

The jet trips, the talks at the local police stations, the theories about the unsubs were made much more bearable thanks to Spencer. At some point I asked myself if our friendship could be something more. I didn't think it was possible. But the doubts came all the times I had a strong argument with my boyfriend. Arguments that sometimes ended with me leaving the apartment we shared and crashing into Spencer's place crying on his shoulder.

I remembered one of those times. It was a strong discussion. Triggered by my prolonged absence thanks to the cases that kept us traveling all over the country. Like the previous times I ended up in Reid's apartment drowning my sorrows in his chest.

"(Y/N)… can I ask you a question?" I just nodded, still sobbing. "Are you sure you love him?... I mean… maybe I said it wrong... I don't have doubts you love him, but do you think this relationship is working for you?..."

“It has worked so far. It's true… we have our ups and downs, but… I don't know… it's just I wish he could understand what my life is really like…"

"And if he doesn't?... how many more chances will you give him (Y/N)?... don't hurt yourself more, please...".

My memory recalls the way he looked at me. At first I thought it was compassion. ‘Poor woman, in love with a man who doesn't understand her.’ But then I thought I saw something else. A plea? I didn't really know what it was.

Without thinking, I let myself be carried away and wrapped my arms around his neck, crashing my lips on his. A simple impulse that ended with me and Reid making out on his couch. And boy I did enjoy it!. And I'm sure he did too. But we were both cowardly enough to admit it.

After that things were strange between us. Until one day I faced him. I needed to know what his true feelings were. The bastard denied it. He said he only wanted me as a friend, that I deserved to be happy with my boyfriend and that ours was just a good friendship.

I let it go. We returned to our dynamic of good friends. Things seemed to take their normal course. My boyfriend proposed to me, the fights between us disappeared. Thus faded the nights when I came crying to Spencer's apartment. I was feeling happy. Excited. Until that moment in my wedding party, in the garden, when Spencer left me with his confession stabbing my chest.

I didn't want to think about that. I had given him a chance to open up earlier. And he didn’t do it. Spencer fucking Reid kept the silent. And I didn't say anything either. Maybe if I had given him a sign. But it was too late. I had to get on with my life. And that's what I did.

A year of happiness. That was how long my marriage lasted. And not because I haven't tried. I really tried. But Reid was right. Sooner or later the opportunities would no longer be enough. Promises weren't sufficient to keep alive the illusion of life as I had dreamed of as a teenager.

*************

I was worried. It had been 4 days since (Y/N) was suspended and no one had heard from her. I asked Prentiss and she only told me she texted her to know how she was doing and (Y/N) replied with a dry ‘fine’.

Besides being worried, I was upset. No one on the team had bothered to visit (Y/N). Months ago it would have been my mission, but given the circumstances maybe it wasn't a good idea. I was annoyed by the idea she was struggling alone with this situation. It was not fair. None of this was fair.

That she couldn't be happy wasn't fair. And that we couldn't be together was my fault. My silence. I lied when I could have told the truth. There is not a day I don’t regret that.

My second mistake was speaking at the wrong time. I couldn't bear it and in a moment of weakness I confessed my feelings to (Y/N). And it was selfish, I know. A chain of bad decisions I tried to bury over time.

And it seemed time was working. She was happy with her husband, or so I thought. While we tried to return to our friendship routine. Perhaps that is another of the biggest lies in the universe: ours would never be the same. Ours will never be the same again. I didn't find out things were going wrong in her marriage until it was all broken. I could notice some things about her behavior, but she was never going to tell me anything about that part of her life, ever again.

On the sixth day of her suspension, my worry began to overwhelm me. This time I wasn’t the only one who was concerned. Emily and JJ tried to contact (Y/N) but she just didn't answer the phone. Even Hotch had left messages on her voicemail to check her status. None had an answer.

I couldn't sit idly by. What if something had happened to her? Sure she wouldn't want to talk to me, but at least I needed to know she was okay. That afternoon I left the BAU heading to her apartment. Upon arrival, I knocked on the door twice. But I got no answer. Maybe she had gone out to buy something. Or maybe something had happened to her and she couldn't open the door. I hesitated what to do for a while. I paced outside her door until anxiety got the better of me. I still had the spare key to her apartment. I knew it wasn't appropriate, but my concern won. I opened the door and launched to inspect the place.

She was not in the apartment. The place was a bit messy, but it wasn't a mess itself. I found many boxes in the living room, some half packed. They didn't seem to be her things, which partly reassured me. For a second I thought she was moving somewhere else. What made me uneasy was seeing several empty liquor bottles on the kitchen counter. That gave me an idea of where she might be at that specific moment.

I quickly reached (Y/N)'s favorite bar scanning through the crowd until I saw her near the bar counter with a group of men surrounding her. I stepped closer and crossed the circle of testosterone that shrouded (Y/N). Seeing me, she raised up her arms to signal my arrival.

“And here is my favorite genius! Dr. Spencer Reid!" (Y/N) chimed obviously drunk. When I managed to get to her side, she threw her arms over me, almost falling from the tabouret where she was sitting next to the bar. I hold her with my arms, restoring some balance to her. As I spoke to the group of predators still looking at (Y/N).

"Well. The show ended here. You can go to the other side of the bar”. I announced to the marauders who, puffing, broke the circle around (Y/N) dispersing.

“You are a killjoy Reid. You always have been”. Despite her condition she knew exactly how to hit me with her words.

"Let's go. I'll take you home" I stated.

When we left the bar, she stopped and didn't want to keep walking.

"Reid... really, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"I came to look for you…" I mumbled.

"You didn't have to... I'm fine, don't you see me? Won-der-ful…" she tried to joke.

"(Y/N)... you're drunk... let me take you home" I insisted.

"Noooo, I don't want to. I'm fine here. Let me…"

"Please come with me". I demanded and grabbed her forearm.

"I don't want to be hurt any more Spencer... leave me alone" she complained.

"I know. But let me help you…"

"You cannot. Nobody can help me. Everyone abandons me and it's my fault...". (Y/N) tried to left my grip.

"Don’t say that. It's not your fault". I hugged her and she stopped struggling but started sobbing into my chest.

We held each other for a moment. The sobs gave way to hiccups. When (Y/N) was calmer, I managed to get her into the car. I drove to her apartment. When I stopped the car, I noticed she had fallen asleep with her head resting on the car window. Carefully, I opened the passenger door and took her in my arms, bridal style. She only let out a groan, but not fully awake. I went upstairs with her to the floor of her apartment, took out the key, opened the door and we went inside.

As gently as I could, I laid her on the bed. I took off her shoes and tucked her with the duvet. Again I heard her sobs.

"Why did it have to be like this?..." she muttered. I didn't know what to answer her.

"It's my fault. I end up ruining everything. I always make mistakes that end up ruining everything…” she cried. I knew it wasn't a good time to talk, but (Y/N) needed to be able to at least sleep in peace.

"No, don’t say that. You better sleep now. Tomorrow we can talk about this".

"You will stay with me?" she asked in a barely audible voice.

"Only if you want me to stay..."

"Please…" she begged.

I took off my shoes and cuddled next to her under the duvet. I wrapped my arms around her body and after a few minutes I felt her breathing much quieter, a sign that she had fallen asleep.

When I woke up next morning, (Y/N) was still sleeping. I knew she would be in that condition for at least a couple of hours, when the light in the room will wake up her and make her feel the hangover in her body. I gently got up and went to the living room. I wondered if it was really wise to stay until she woke up or maybe I should just leave her and go home. I wanted to be able to talk to her, but I wasn't sure if it would be the best time. I laughed at myself after that thought. Is there a better time for us at anything? That didn't exist in our books.

I made myself a coffee and grabbed some of the books from her shelf. I struggled with the urge to explore the things that were inside the boxes scattered around the room. I sat down on the couch and started reading.

A few hours later I heard (Y/N) walking out of the bedroom and into the bathroom, turning on the shower faucets. I got up from the couch and started making coffee again. She was going to need it. I also started making some toast. After a while she came out of the bathroom straight into the bedroom again. A few more minutes passed and she peeked into the kitchen where I was finishing buttering the toast.

"You didn't need to make breakfast..." she remarked, making her presence known. I raised my head to look at her.

"At least you need the coffee..." I suggested as I handed her the mug of coffee.

"It’s true. Thank you". She sat down and after a sip put the coffee on the table.

"How do you feel?"

"The shower helped... but the hangover won't leave me for a good couple of hours," she complained. I put the plate of toast on the table and sat across from her with my own coffee. We fell silent as we drank our coffee and ate our toasts.

When there was no more coffee or toast left, (Y/N) started talking.

"I wanted to apologize for my behavior last night." She mused.

"You don’t have to apologize…". I shook my head.

"Yes. I need to. Although I don't know how you knew I was there, you brought me back safely. Thank you". Her eyes felt into the empty mug.

“It was not a bother to me. I was worried about you (Y/N). In fact, I'm worried about you,” I confessed, looking again at the empty liquor bottles on the kitchen counter. She followed my line of sight and knew exactly what I meant.

“I'm fine Reid… so don't worry. I have accumulated them in all these days. It's not so big deal either" she bragged.

“I don't think you're okay (Y/N). You've avoided calls and messages from the whole team these days…". I stated.

“I just wanted to be peaceful, Reid. As you can see, I’m trying to 'clean up' my life,” (Y/N) assured as she pointed to the boxes scattered around the room.

"You don't have to do that alone..." I implied trying to get into the matter.

"Reid, please… don’t do this. You know I can't let you do this…” she mumbled.

"Why not? Please (Y/N)... why do you want to keep pushing people away from you?".

“Not all people. Only you". Her overabundance of sincerity didn’t surprise me, but at that moment it left me speechless. "Sorry to say it like that, but you can't pretend things are the way they were at the beginning." She was right, but I wasn't ready to lose this fight.

"Will you never forgive me for telling you about my feelings that night at your wedding?" I shouted running one of my hands through my hair.

"Not that. I’ll never forgive you for keeping silent when I asked you what you felt before!" she yelled at me back.

"(Y/N)... I was scared...". I tried to explain.

“I was scared too Reid!... but I had hopes. The hopes you killed at that time," she grumbled taking her head with both hands.

"Do you think it was easy for me?"

"I don’t care. If you had told me maybe I would have cared. I'm not a fucking fortune teller Reid!" She got up from her chair and began pacing the room. We were getting back into this discussion, again.

"I just… I never thought you would do it..." I said defeated.

"What? Get married?... why shouldn't I?". She asked in exasperation.

"Because you didn't love him!!!" I screamed.

"How do you know that? Damn it Reid!"

"Because if you really loved him, you would never have come to my apartment every time you both had an argument! That was never love (Y/N)! It was your dream, but it was never real!"

"What do you know about love?, ah?... are you really going to give me a lecture on something you have no idea? You weren't even able to face me when you made your big reveal. That's not love either Reid"

"Watch your words (Y/N), you have no idea what you're talking about" I warned her.

"Oh no? Enlighten me genius"

I got up quickly from the chair. I took one of her wrists and pulled it towards me. I cupped her cheeks with both hands and bumped my lips to hers. (Y/N) tried to pull away from me for a second, but then she melted into the kiss just like I did at the time. If words weren't enough, I hoped that kiss could help me ‘tell’ her everything I was feeling. When we both run out of air, we pulled away.

“If you didn't always have the compulsion of saying the last word, maybe I would have shown you earlier. But no! Always contradicting (Y/N)! " I muttered panting.

“What the fuck Reid?. Do you think a kiss is enough to silence me?". She pulled away trying to catch her breath and not knowing whether to keep yelling at me or to leave the room.

"No, not with a kiss. I know. Of course it is not enough with you (Y/N). I think I’m just starting with you".

“Where does this dominance come from? Eh Reid? What are you trying to prove?" she asked me defiantly.

"Just shut up (Y/N)... and stop calling me Reid". I protested. How difficult is for this woman to give up in a fight, for God sake!

"Make me... Reid". She challenged me back.

The tension built up over the years seemed to have exploded at that moment. I took her wrists again to attract her to my body, with one of my hands I took her hair and yanked it back to make her look at me.

"Stop it (Y/N). You don't want me to make you" I managed to mutter before collapsing my lips with hers again. This time the kiss was more passionate and extensive. I couldn't keep my hands still, while with one I was still yanking (Y/N)’s hair, the other started to down her back by entangling my fingers in the edge of her shirt. As I put my fingers under the shirt to touch her bare back, I felt a moan from (Y/N). That encouraged me to continue. Releasing my other hand from her hair, I grabbed the other end of her shirt, pulling it, take it off her body and throwing it to the floor. My lips began to search for the sweet spot on her neck that I knew existed and always wanted to explore. When I found it, another groan came from (Y/N)'s mouth. Those moans quickly turned me on. With my hands traveling down her nearly bare back, I paused on the clasp of her bra, pulling it apart and letting it fall to the floor. An exciting sigh left my mouth when I could see her naked half.

(Y/N) looked at me expectantly. Her eyes inviting me to continue, but I started to worry that no words come out of her mouth.

"Is something wrong?... do you want me to stop?"

"What are we doing Spencer...?" she said panting.

“What I think we should have done so long ago. And because of me we couldn't. But if you don't want to, I'll stop”. I assured her as I stroked her cheeks with my knuckles.

"Shit Spencer... I don't want to die without you fucking me once in life at least...". With that she threw herself into my arms and started to unbutton my dress shirt.

"God (Y/N)... you don’t how much I want you." I whispered to her as I dropped my dress shirt to the floor and my hands searched for her bare breasts. My lips and tongue tracing paths on her collarbone. Her arms were around my neck gripping tightly.

“Show me, you fucking coward! Prove you mean it!” she told.

“This time you don’t have to tell me twice…”.

I took her in my arms and carried her into the bedroom, laying her on the mattress, while I undid the clasp on my belt and unbuttoned my pants, letting them fall to the floor. She slipped her sweatpants, exposing her body only in her lace. I laid down next to her, tracing eager paths in her bare skin with my fingers.

"You are so fucking beautiful (Y/N)... you drive me crazy...". I blurted, peppering kisses and sucking one of her nipples. (Y/N) stroked my hair as I keep my mouth attached into her breasts. My hands went down her waist and stopped in her thighs for a while. Then my fingers traveled anxiously across her belly, her hips, and her ass. I looked at her with fire in the eyes and could see how (Y/N) was breathing heavily holding her eyes on me as I slide her panties off, one leg at a time. I put one of her legs over my shoulder and buried my mouth between her legs, nibbling on the skin while I was holding her hip with both hands. (Y/N) couldn't help but arch her back, letting out a deep whine.

"Oh fuck Spencer... shit… please…" she moan not expecting to be coherent in her words. I was decided to go further, so my hands started to slide into her inner thighs. I wanted to explore the depths of her core. Not so gently I put one of my fingers inside her. The moisture I found did nothing but arouse me more. The contact sure caused more stimulation on her and she started to move and buck to feel more depth and friction.

"Please... Spencer... if we are going to do this, I need more...". Her words made me put a second finger. She shuddered on contact again. I couldn't help but bite my lower lip as I looked (Y/N)'s eyes stiff at the sensation running through her body. At the movement of my fingers inside her, (Y/N) was unable to control her own, seeking to deepen the feeling by riding hard on them. I lowering my tongue until reached her folds. I slipped my tongue to catch some of her moisture mixed with my own saliva. A stifled moan from me made (Y/N) tremble at the vibration of my voice running through her body. I put a third finger inside her while my tongue focused on her clit, licking and sucking the exposed nerve.

(Y/N) let out almost a cry bursting with pleasure. I speed up the actions of my fingers and my tongue and I could feel (Y/N) shiver under my touch. I heard her moaning louder as she held on to my hair. I knew she was close to her release because her body trembled at every thrusting of my fingers and slapping of my tongue.

"Oh fuck... I can't... Spencer... please... don't stop... I'm going to cum..." she said frenzy as her nails scratched my shoulders.

"Do it love, cum in my fingers... do it... let me feel how you undone beneath me…" I gasped trying to help her to find her release, while the thrusts of my fingers became more frantic than ever.

"Fuck... Spencer... uhhh, shit!" It was the last she could say before falling hard at her ecstasy. She was trembling completely with her eyes lost on the ceiling. When the spasms stopped, I pulled my fingers out, tasting her arousal in my mouth and looking at her. Her messy hair, the sweat running down her forehead and her eyes full of pleasure. It couldn't have been more pleasing for me.

“I think you need a reward for this so… come here. I need you to fuck me with your cock right now… please…”. (Y/N) demanded still panting.

I just chuckled meanwhile I slipped off my boxers and then placed my hips between her legs lining up my cock at her entrance. My slow entry produced a unison groan in both of us.

"Oh fuck (Y/N)... you're so tight for me..." was the only thing I said before (Y/N) raised her hips without warning to feel me fully in her. A roar tore from my mouth as I grabbed her hips to start moving inside her. The thrusts started slow but intense, accompanied by gasps and sweat. I increased the speed of my thrusts in the next minutes. The desire to feel each other had reached a point of no return for both. The moans mingled with the vocalization of our names only increased arousal in us. I could feel her walls tighten with friction and it drove me madder and louder. She was very close to losing herself in ecstasy. Her body began to tremble, which made me hasten my pace. I put one of my fingers over her clit and traced circular movements on it. The (Y/N)’s moans increased in time and noise.

"Fuck Spencer... Oh yeah, right there. More please… Spencer, harder…”. She exclaimed in ecstasy.

"(Y/N), you feel so good with my cock inside you. Do you like it?, tell me… I want to hear you… use your words…”. I needed to hear her voice.

"Harder Spencer. You are fucking me so good. Please don't stop… I love you. I wanted this so badly… so time ago…”

“This time I'm not going to let you go. Tell me, did he touch you like this?... He kissed you like this?... He fucked you like this?"

"Shit… Spencer, it’s not the time to compare yourself to my ex…" (Y/N) moaned.

“I just want you to realize that I’m better than him. That I have more right to have you than he and any other man. That I’m the only man who could love you like you deserves (Y/N)…"

With those words I could feel how the orgasm hit (Y/N) like a train. She screamed my name one last time before getting lost in her heights. I kept my thrusts knowing I was close. Feeling her walls tighten around my cock was enough for a couple more thrusts and reach my own release. And it was better than I had imagined every time I thought about (Y/N) and what sex with her would be like. God! I could stay like this forever.

Even with our shaky breaths and still inside her I looked (Y/N) directly in the eyes. I needed to know her reaction. I just hoped I didn't find regret in her gaze. That would have been death for me.

She looked at me with a glint in her eyes that I couldn't decipher. Tears? I was terrified. I didn't want to lose (Y/N) again.

"Shit Spencer... where did you learn to fuck like that?" she blurt suddenly. We both started laughing. I assumed it was a rhetorical question, so I only answered with a deep kiss on her lips as I got out of bed in the direction to the bathroom.

I came back with a damp towel to clean up the remains of our recent activities. (Y/N) didn't take her eyes off me but she didn't say a word either. I put the towel on the nightstand and sat on the bed with my back on the backrest.

"Okay, what are you thinking now?" I asked. (Y/N) smiled because she knew exactly that I was going to ask her that question.

“It's just… I find it hard to believe that you really love me. I mean, so much has happened in this time… don't you even have a little doubt going around in your head about this?" she questioned giving me a shy look.

"Not anymore. I had doubts for so long (Y/N), that's why I wasn't able to do anything about it. But I can assure you that there are no more doubts. I love you and I know you love me too. Nonetheless I'm willing to wait for whatever it takes until you're ready. But I’ll never be silent about my feelings for you again. That I can assure you. I promise”. I replied taking her hand and squeezing it gently.

"I'm still broken Spencer...". She remind me pressing her lips together and trying to hold back a sob

“(Y/N). I know and I take full responsibility for that too. But now I don´t care all our past mistakes. I don’t care the past itself. I don’t care if you’re broken now. I want to fix this. I want you. I want to make up to you. I want to make you happy. No matter how long it takes me to accomplish that. I’ll stay by your side. I’ll hold you when you need it, I want to be there when the world breaks you. I’ll fight and support you every time that happens…"

Tears began to roll down her cheeks. (Y/N) hugged me tight and buried her head on my chest. Then she raised her gaze to look at me and speak.

"Love is not unconditional Spencer... you know that…" she murmured.

"Not by default my love, but we can build it to make it work for us.". She smiled at my words and after giving me an intense kiss she spoke again.

“I hope you’re right. I know we can try to make it work. I love you Spencer”.

“I love you too (Y/N). We are going to make it. I promise".

———————

#spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid angst #spencer reid smut #dr. spencer reid #criminal minds

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kiirokero · 4 years ago

Text

Redamancy (OT7)

Redamancy: The act of loving the one who loves you; a love returned in full.

Part of the Protect the Village! Oneshot Series.

Masterlist

Pairing: BTS x Reader (Yes, all seven,)

Genre/Warnings: fluff, a bit of angst, strangers to friends to lovers, a lot of mediocre humour,

Note: The multiverse in this world just got more complicated. But I did it!

Summary: Seven men, all from different walks of life. Then there’s you, their best friend. Nothing good ever comes from loving those close to you a little too much, that’s what you think. Apparently they have another idea.

Word Count: ~12k

UNEDITED please forgive my illiterate ass. Might edit it at a later date.

It started with Jimin.

Having just moved to the village, you were just barely on your own two feet. You thought moving to the small town full of, what? 200 people? Would be enough to give you that cottage lifestyle you always wanted. Away from others, on your own, nothing but you and the forest. Of course, living in seclusion wouldn’t be as amazing as the stories make it out to be. You knew this, so you settled on moving to a small village.

You grew up in the city all your life. And you hated it. You hated the sickly smell of trash and cigarettes. You hated the constant buzz of people no matter the hour of the day. You absolutely despised the people who lived there too. You never thought people could get so narcissistic. Yeah, there were friendly people there, but the selfish and rude ones drowned them out.

So because of your less-than stellar experience with people, you didn’t plan on making many friends. Maybe becoming acquaintances with the lady who walked her dog every day or being on a first name basis with the barista at the local coffee shop. You planned to keep to yourself. Stay confined to your house and small garden, work from home. But the universe, or a stubborn blonde-haired delivery boy, had other plans.

Because it started with Jimin.

Today was like any other day in the oddly cheery village. The sun was out, there wasn’t a cloud in sight, and it was way too hot for you. “Ugh,” You groaned, flopping face first on your dusty couch that was fresh out of storage. You felt like you were sweating off pounds of your body fat. You were sticky and uncomfortable. But that wasn’t even the worst part of the day.

It was only the third day of moving into your new cottage, and you were already done with it. You’ve sneezed more times than you could count, your muscles were begging for mercy, and the movers broke your bookshelf. You swear you could kill a man. Now you had a box full of books and no bookshelf to organize them on.

Sure, maybe it wasn’t as serious as you were making it out to be, but adding on all the additional stresses from the past week, it felt like someone just kicked your cat. Not that you have a cat... But the point was made. You were on the verge of a breaking point.

Reluctantly, you went to your bedroom and opened your laptop, searching the internet for a new bookshelf. You tried to lift your spirits by telling yourself that you could get one that matches your mahogany coffee table, but one look at the price tag quickly brought you back down. “This better be an heirloom for my great-grandchildren,” You grumbled, going to checkout and typing in your credit card information.

The new bookshelf showed up in 2 days. You would think that would be enough time to get your shit together, but it wasn’t. The past 2 days made you even more stressed as you found important things were either missing or hidden deep in odd boxes they had no business being in. Now you're not a sentimental person, not a lot of items you own hold much sentiment to you. But if there’s one item you treasure dearly, it’d be your mother's necklace.

It was an old silver necklace that wound around a small teal stone. The chain was chunky and a bit rusty. Though it wasn’t falling apart, just old. It was a centuries old heirloom. Your mother said it used to be painted gold, but that was when your great-great grandmother had it. How she knew that? You didn’t know, you never asked either. Your mom was always just an oddball.

But that wasn’t what caught people’s attention the most. It was the teal stone itself. It was an unnatural shape. It looked like it was split in 2 pieces down the middle, almost looking like a pair of doors. They were trapezoids laid on their sides, wider edges together. You asked your mom why they were carved into such a shape, but she always said the same thing. “Honey, the stone isn’t carved, it’s natural. You’ll understand one day.”

To this day, you still don’t understand.

And now you never would, because the priceless family treasure was missing. You could practically hear your mother tsking from her grave as she watches you upturn everything in your apartment looking for it. You were currently bending yourself in half, peering under the couch, when the doorbell suddenly rang. You jumped, bumping your head on the coffee table. “Ow...” You groaned, standing up to answer the door.

Opening the door, you saw a blonde man standing on your porch with a large box standing upright next to him. “Hello! I have a package for, um... Y/n?” He said with a smile. “That’s me,” You chuckled, trying your best to at least look like you had your life together. “Is that... Heavy?” You asked cautiously, intimidated by the box that was almost as tall as the man in front of you.

“Yeah... A little bit... Would you like me to take it in for you?” He offered, to which you graciously accepted. “You can just put it by the tv stand,” You said. He gave you a determined nod, carrying the box over to the living room while you snuck away to the kitchen to get him a bottle of water. It was a hot day; it was the least you could do.

“Hey, um, is this yours?” He asked you as you walked back to the living room. In his hand was the silver necklace you were painstakingly searching for. “Oh! Yes! Thank you, where’d you find it?” You asked, quirking your brow. “It was peeking out from under the tv stand, and I don’t think you meant to put it there,” He chuckled, his eyes upturning into crescents. You couldn’t help but thinking that it was cute.

You held the necklace to your chest, basking in the sense of relief it gave you. “Yeah, I was looking everywhere for it. Odd that it was in such a visible place,” Your browns knitted together as you asked yourself how you missed it. You almost upturned the entire house looking for it. “Mystery solved!” The blonde man chuckled, “I’m Jimin by the way. I couldn’t help but notice all the boxes... Did you just move here?” Jimin asked, expression showing nothing but friendly curiosity.

You sighed, looking around at the mess that was your house currently. “Is it that obvious?” You joked, causing Jimin to chuckle. “Well, welcome to Bangtan! Not many people move out here.” He pointed out. You shrugged, “It seems nice out here. Peaceful,” Jimin gave you a soft, kind smile, one which you reciprocated. “I hope you like it here,”

As soon as he left, you’d quickly unclasped the necklace and put it on, vowing to never take it off again. It was the only thing you had left of your mother. You didn’t care if you weren’t a jewelry person; you were now.

It started with Jimin.

After that day, you would see him often. Whether he was zipping around main street, delivering inventory to the various shops, or he was bringing you a package. You once asked him if he’s the only delivery personnel in the whole village, worrying that whoever was employing him was running him ragged. “No, but we have our designated areas in the village. I deliver for main street and the forest houses. Aka the houses that boarder the forest... Aka you!” Was his explanation.

Besides the occasional run-ins, you and Jimin never really hung out. Until he came bouncing up to your doorstep, asking if you wanted to go to the arcade with him on his day off. You almost said no. Well, you said no... But Jimin practically begged you to come, so you gave in... Eventually. So, one Sunday afternoon, you got dressed and went to the arcade that Jimin was so excited about.

He showed up, but he wasn’t alone.

Because next it was Taehyung.

It was a nice day. Perfect temperature, lovely breeze, clear skies. You would’ve loved to sit in your garden, enjoying a nice glass of lemonade, but no. Here you were outside of an admittedly pretty, arcade. Waiting for Jimin to show up so you could kick his ass at some air hockey.

�� You picked at the invisible lint on your jeans. Tapping your shoes against the concrete. You don’t know why you dressed nicer than you usually do. Maybe it was because Jimin always saw you in sweatshirts and sweatpants and you wanted to prove that you weren’t the humanized version of a dust bunny. Maybe it was because he always looks like he walked off a runway, even in his work uniform. But now you're regretting it. Your jeans are a bit too tight because you haven’t gone clothes shopping in a while and your black shirt was attracting the heat of the sun.

“Y/n!!!” A voice yelled, and you instantly knew it was Jimin. Looking at the end of the street, your suspicions were confirmed when you saw his blonde hair flowing in the wind as he ran to you. It was odd to see him dressed in day clothes, but it was a welcome change. He had on light washed jeans and a plain white shirt hidden underneath a denim jacket. It was a simple look, but he rocked it.

He stopped in front of you, hands on his knees, gasping for air. “I wasn’t going anywhere.” You chuckled, patting his head patronizingly. “I huff was just puff excited to see you.” He choked out, taking a few more deep breaths before sitting upright again. You felt your cheeks heat up at his enthusiasm to see you, but you shrugged it off. “Well, you coming?” You asked, pointing your thumb towards the building behind you. “Taehyung’s not here yet.” Jimin said, nonchalantly.

You tilted your head, Taehyung? “Who’s Taehyung?” You asked, poking Jimin’s side. “He’s one of my friends! Best baker in town! Well... Only baker in town, but still. He has the day off too, I thought it would be nice for you to meet him,” He shrugged, “Is that okay?” His tone was a worried one, as if he was just now realizing that you could be uncomfortable with meeting others, but you just sighed. “It’s fine, Jimin. If he’s friends with you, I’m sure he’s pretty cool,” You said, and Jimin’s eyes lit up.

The two of you continued to talk about random things. What you did yesterday, your plans for the coming week... Jimin was currently telling you the story about one of his other friends being attacked by a giant squirrel when a deep voice called his name. “Jiminie!” The two of you turned to see a man waving at Jimin from the end of the street, jogging over to meet up with you.

You could tell that this man was a bit taller than Jimin, but not by much. He had short, light brown hair, like a honey blonde color, that almost reached his eyes. He had slightly tanned skin that seemed to glow in the sun and a boxy smile that showcased his perfect teeth. You wondered if all of Jimin’s friends were model level attractive.

The man, who you assumed was Taehyung, and Jimin hugged each other once they got close enough. It was a short but sweet one, and you could tell that they’ve known each other for a long time. “Tae, this is Y/n! Y/n, this is Taehyung!” Jimin introduced the two of you, and you gave him a friendly bow. “Nice to meet you! Jimin’s been blabbering on all the time about you,” Taehyung snickered, earning an elbow to the arm from Jimin.

“Oh, really? Only good things, I hope,” You raised an eyebrow towards Jimin, and he raised his hands in defense. “Only good things! Only good,” He chuckled, and you nodded your head in satisfaction. “It’s nice to meet you too. Taehyung,” You smiled, turning your attention back to the man next to Jimin. “Alright! Game time!” Jimin clapped, racing inside the arcade with Taehyung hot on his tail. You snorted at their actions, following after them.

When the 3 of you paid for your tokens, you instantly agreed on going right to the air hockey table. “Okay so... Tae and I will face off with each other, then the winner plays you, is that alright?” Jimin asked, looking between you and Taehyung. Taehyung nodded while you gave him a thumbs up.

The two of them went to opposite sides of the table, putting in their tokens and grabbing the strikers. “You're going down,” Jimin threatened, glaring at the man in front of him. “Jimin, you’re about as frightening as a newborn puppy,” Taehyung snickered, earning an exaggerated gasp from the blonde. “Asshole,” He murmured to himself, picking up the puck and starting the game.

To say watching Jimin and Taehyung play was funny, is an understatement. Every time Taehyung scored a point, Jimin would whine louder and every time Jimin would score, Taehyung would start the game as quickly as possible, cutting off Jimin’s little victory dance. “Come on, Jimin!” You encouraged, looking at the 3-point difference on the overhead scoreboard. “It’s only three points!”

Jimin tried, maybe a little too hard, but ended up losing in the end. Jimin pouted, his lower lip protruding exaggeratedly. He came over and laid his forehead on your shoulder, whining to you about Taehyung being a try-hard jerk. You just chuckled, giving his back a light pat as you gently pushed him off and went up to the table.

“You ready?” Taehyung asked after you put your tokens in. You nodded, waiting for him to start the game. Immediately, Taehyung hit the puck hard and fast, the plastic disc ricocheting off the sides in a zig-zag pattern. It was too fast for you to properly stop it from going right into your goal. Taehyung laughed from the other side of the table, holding his stomach as he bent over, wheezing.

You looked at him, unimpressed, snatching the puck from the space under the table. “You looked so helpless,” He wheezed, and you quickly put down the puck and hit it right into Taehyung’s goal, making the score even. “Oh no, you looked so helpless,” You snickered, mockingly. Setting off a competitive fire between you and Taehyung.

After Jimin it was Taehyung.

That day was full of laughs and friendly insults thrown back and forth in the heat of a competitive moment. After you won that air hockey game, Taehyung challenged you to everything after that. “I bet I can score higher on this!” or “I bet you can’t beat that,” To which you proved him wrong about 50% of the time, Jimin being your cheerleader for every game. Besides DDR. Nobody dares to go against Jimin on DDR. Unless it’s Hoseok.

But your interactions with Taehyung and Jimin didn’t stop there. Now Jimin felt more comfortable inviting you out, usually to Taehyung’s bakery, so you could get to know each other better. Sometimes you’d even go to Taehyung’s bakery (Aptly named “Kim’s Confections”) on your own, just to talk to him as he made his stock for the next day.

Jimin and Taehyung said they had other friends that would love to meet you, but they were just busy, so it would take time. They also told you that 2 were on a business trip and wouldn’t be back for another week while another was swamped with work and the others were just shy. You didn’t mind much; you’d meet them when you met them.

Which apparently was soon.

Because then it was Namjoon.

It was a nice day out today. It was slightly overcast and there was a cool breeze blowing through. Perfect for you. Not so perfect to the sunshine people of Bangtan. Nobody was out and about today like usual. People were treating a slightly dim day like it was snowing. It was amusing to you. When you first got here, you’ve never seen so many sunny days before. It was disorienting. The chilly day was a blissful blessing.

But going out on a lovely day was only fun when other people were out on that lovely day. Despite your previous woes, you actually wanted to get to know the community that lived in Bangtan. Jimin said that they didn’t get many outsiders, but everyone here was delightful to you. There was even this old lady how gave you a Snickers! A whole Snickers!

Instead of letting the lack of people get you down though, you opted to go on one of the nature paths that went through the forest that surrounds the village. Putting on a pair of jeans and a jacket, you grabbed your small backpack off the counter and headed straight for the forest that was behind your house.

When Jimin said you lived in a “forest house,” He really wasn’t wrong, the tree line was only a 2-minute walk from your backdoor. You love the fact that you can look out your window and see the wildlife running around, even if some of them look oddly larger than normal. But that was probably just your imagination.

Stepping onto a well-worn path, you began your walk. Listening to the songs of the birds and breathing in the earthy smell that surrounded you, it was like heaven. Maybe it was because you lived in the city for most of your life, but you really felt drawn to this place. The vibrant green trees, the lively wildlife, the calm atmosphere. It was all so... Nice.

The way the wind blew through the trees, rustling the leaves in a peaceful harmony, made pleasant shivers run down your spine. You would playfully wave at the squirrels and birds that you encountered on your path, and they would oddly look back at you, making you chuckle. “Cuties,” You whispered to yourself, your shoes crunching against the dried fallen leaves that covered the path.

About 20 minutes into your walk, however, you felt goosebumps rise on your skin. Like a second sense you weren’t aware about. Curiously, you stopped, looking around the empty forest. Nothing but trees, fauna, and flora as far as the eye could see. But it was also deathly quiet. You didn’t notice before, too trapped in your own thoughts, but the birds stopped chirping, like the entire forest had gone still.

Shivers ran their way up your spine, and you didn’t dare move a muscle. Suddenly the once refreshing forest air turned dry and suffocating, and it felt colder than before. The rustling of leaves caught your attention, and you whipped around in search of the source. Nothing moved as it went silent again. Scared, you started walking down the path again, eager to get away.

You could hear your heart pounding in your ears as your palms became sweaty from tightly clutching onto your bag. But then the rustling came again, this time it was closer. You whimpered, picking up your speed into a brisk walk to a jog, the rustling still following you. You took the risk of looking behind you, and what you saw made you gasp. There behind you was a grey wolf, briskly following you like it had all the time in the world. It wasn’t necessarily threatening you in any way, but it was a wolf, and all you were thinking about was getting away.

You broke out into a run, trying to get as far away from the animal as you could. You logically knew that it could easily run faster than you, but you were running on pure adrenalin at this point. Well, you were. Until you slammed face first into what felt like a brick wall. You fell backwards with a thump, groaning at the shock of pain that ran up your ankle.

“Oh! I’m sorry!” A deep voice apologized, kneeling next to you. All thoughts of the animal chasing you vanished from your mind when you looked up to see a tan, muscular man. He had sandy blonde hair that was swept to the side and chestnut brown eyes that were filled with worry. His grey shirt was tight, leaving little to the imagination. He was very well built. “Hello? Oh no, did you hit your head?” His voice spoke up again, waving his hand in front of your face.

You blinked a couple of times before lightly shaking your head. “No- I’m okay,” You answered, and the man let out a sigh of relief. “That’s good, can you stand up?” He asked, you tried to stand up, but a piercing, sweltering heat shot its way up your ankle and you groaned in pain. “I think I twisted my ankle...” You whimpered, bringing one of your hands down to support it.

“Oh no, um... Think Namjoon think...” The man, who you presumed to be the Namjoon he was referring to, paced back and forth in front of you. You brought your backpack around in front of you, looking through it until you pulled out the mini first aid kit you carried. You opened up the small plastic box and got out the bandage wrap that came with it. “Um, can you help me wrap my ankle?” You spoke up, getting the worried man’s attention. “Y-Yeah!” He nodded, kneeling in front of you.

“I’m so sorry... Um, I can, uh... Carry you back to my home? I think I have an ice pack in the freezer,” He offered while he wrapped the bandage snuggly against your ankle... You raised your eyebrow suspiciously, not quite trusting the random woodsman you just met.

He caught on to what you were thinking, quickly holding his hands up and smiling awkwardly. “I promise I won’t do anything! And if I make you uncomfortable, you can like... Punch me or something,” He said, and you relented, knowing that he was likely your only way out of this forest since you seemed to have strayed off the beaten path.

“I’m Namjoon, by the way,” He smiled, revealing a pair of deep-set dimples.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Y/n,”

After Namjoon wrapped up your ankle, he picked you up bridal style (After getting your permission) and carried you back to civilization. You made small talk along the way. Namjoon told you that he was the town’s mechanic and he lived in an apartment that was above his shop. You told him that you were new in town and you worked as a translator.

Soon, you arrived at a small store that looked very much like a smaller version of AutoZone. Namjoon carefully carried you up the stairs and set you down on his living room couch. “I’ll go get that ice pack,” He said, giving you a soft smile as he disappeared into what you assumed to be the kitchen.

You ignored the blush that made its way onto the tips of your ears, searching through your bag until you found your phone. Opening your messages with Jimin.

Hey. I know I said I’d meet up with you later but I kinda messed up my ankle...

Chim: What?! How?

I went on a nature hike and ran face first into this dude Namjoon

Chim: Namjoon? The mechanic?

Yeah, he brought me back to his house and is treating it. Seems super worried. Chill guy though!

Chim: Sounds like Joon. Stay there, okay? I’ll meet you there. I’ll bring Tae too.

You know him?

Chim: He’s the guy I told you about, the one that knocked over the can display.

Oh yeah! lol

After Taehyung it was Namjoon.

After you texted Jimin about your predicament, him and Taehyung showed up to gage how bad it really was. In reality, it wasn’t that awful. You only had to wear a brace for 3 days and stay far away from Namjoon’s clumsy tendencies for another 2.

Namjoon was surprised at first to find out that you knew the two men, and then they enthusiastically informed him that you were the Y/n that they’ve been telling everyone about. You don’t know if it was more embarrassing for you to find out you're a regular conversation topic, or for Namjoon who didn’t connect the dots earlier. Maybe it was both.

But besides your rocky first impressions. You and Namjoon bonded quickly. But instead of bonding over competition like Taehyung or frequent meetings like Jimin... The two of you bonded when you found out his love for books, especially old classics. It was only 2 days after your initial meeting. Jimin and Taehyung were busy, and you didn’t feel like being alone, so you visited Namjoon. (Much to his surprise)

You were keeping him company in the garage while he worked on a car when you referenced a scene from “The Odyssey,” Namjoon had shot his head up and looked at you wide eyed, asking if you were a fan of literature. When you said yes, he couldn’t help but talk animatedly about his favorites as you playfully indulged him. Not minding one bit.

The two of you frequently met up to talk about books. Whether it be a debate about whether “To Kill a Mockingbird” Should be as hyped up as it is or deep philosophical conversations about the meaning of “Where’d You Go, Bernadette?” But there was one day when you visited him that he asked if you wanted to go shopping with him.

Which is how you ended up in a grocery store with cans rolling around on the floor.

Then you met Hoseok.

“Shopping?” You asked incredulously as you watched Namjoon emerge from his room with a fresh set of clothes on. “Yeah! It could be fun! Also, Jimin begged me to go with him and I don’t want to go through that alone,” He blurted out, and you laughed, hiding your face in the arm of his couch.

Namjoon huffed at your amusement, whining out a “Please?” That you just couldn’t exist. You sighed, getting up from the couch and slipping on your shoes. “Let’s go then, you know how Jimin gets,” Namjoon quickly followed suit, not wanting to deal with a nagging Jimin alone. “You’re right, let’s go!” He rushed, and you giggled, following him out the door.

It was another sunny day in Bangtan, meaning more people were out and about. You smiled as people on the street waved at you, becoming more used to your presence in the town. “How different is the city life to this?” Namjoon asked from beside you, hands stuffed in the pockets of his leather jacket. “Much different. People would usually bump into you, then sneer at you like it was your fault,” You snorted, earning a wide-eyed look from the man beside you.

“People were that rude?” He asked, exasperated. “Yep,” You nodded, finding his distaste for people he’s never met somewhat amusing. Namjoon scoffed, mumbling a “Dumb people,” Under his breath, causing you to chuckle. “Namjoon, there's no need to get so worked up about it,” You poked his shoulder. Namjoon looked at you with pursed lips, “Nobody should be mean to a person like you,” He declared, looking at you with deep intensity.

“Guys!” A voice called, breaking through the moment you and Namjoon were having. You cleared your throat, wiping your sweaty palms on your jeans before looking up at Jimin. He was standing in front of the grocery store you often frequented. “Hey,” You greeted once the two of you got close enough. Jimin engulfed you in a hug, squeezing you tight, and you couldn’t help the giggled that bubbled their way up and out of your throat. But you missed the look of jealousy that crossed Namjoon’s face.

Once Jimin let go, he gave both of you and a cheeky smile. “So... I know Hoseok technically banned Namjoon from here after last time... But! Today is the day they restock the junk food” Jimin exclaimed, enthusiasm painted on his face. You forgot that living in such a secluded town meant that things like brand-named food went out of stock and stayed like that for longer than you were used to. It was one of the downsides to living here, but like, one out of five.

“Hoseok? You mean the manager that seems to avoid me like the plague?” You asked, earning a sympathetic look from both of the men. You’re heard about Hoseok plenty of times from Jimin, Taehyung, AND Namjoon. You’ve even seen the dude when you shopped here sometimes, but he always hid away in the backroom when he noticed your presence. Not coming out until you were gone.

You were convinced that Hoseok didn’t like you for whatever reason, but everyone told you it was just him. He was shy at first, then the loudest person you’d ever meet. “Y/n...” Jimin whined, and you playfully rolled your eyes. “Yeah. yeah. He doesn't have some sort of weird vendetta against me, I get it,” You groaned, walking past both of them. “Let’s just go, yeah?” You pressed, looking over your shoulder at the both of them.

The two of them looked at each other, then back at you before they followed you into the store. Jimin quickly took the lead as he guided you and Namjoon towards the candy and chips section of the small mart. “Ah, it’s beautiful,” Jimin sighed, grabbing a pack of spicy potato chips. “It’s unhealthy,” Namjoon mocking him, mimicking Jimin’s dreamy sigh.

Jimin whipped around to glare at the taller man, not caring that Namjoon had to look down to maintain eye contact with him. “Look, not everyone eats leaves like you Joon,” Jimin hmphed, turning back to the shelf. You snickered, earning an exaggerated gasp from Namjoon.��“I’m offended, Y/n,” He said, and you chuckled harder.

“That’s it, come here,” Namjoon threatened, reaching out for you to which you immediately turned and ran away. You say run, but it was more like a jog. You and Namjoon were laughing with each other while he tried to catch you. “Weak sauce, Namjoon,” You teased from the opposite end of the aisle from him. “You wound me,” He chuckled, lunging at you yet again.

But this time, you narrowly dodged his grasp. You jumped out of the way quickly enough for him to miss you, but he wasn’t quick enough to stop himself from running headfirst into a display of cans. How ironic. The cans sounded a huge crash as they fell to the floor in conjunction, Namjoon falling with them. He let out a groan of pain as he landed on a can, one of them hitting him on the head.

You let out a pained hiss, almost feeling the headache incoming. “Are you okay?” You asked, kneeling beside him. This situation feeling familiar before. “Yeah... I’m good,” Namjoon whimpered out, wincing at the pain in his back. Suddenly, the two of you heard rapid footsteps approaching you. “You idiots,” Jimin sighed, kneeling on the opposite side of Namjoon. “This is why Hobi banned you,” Jimin flicked Namjoon’s nose, the elder letting out a choked “Ack” sound.

Soon, you and Jimin helped Namjoon back up to his feet, the taller man resting a hand on his back for support. “Of course it was you, Joon,” A new voice spoke up, sounding amused. The three of you focused your attention on the approaching man coming down on of the isles, his eyes trained on Namjoon.

He was taller than Jimin but shorter than Namjoon, somewhere in between. He had brunette hair in a mocha-like shade that was a similar hairstyle to Taehyung. He had deep brown eyes and heart-shaped lips that were upturned into a slight smile. You recognized him as Hoseok, the store manager who avoided you like you had a flu and he was immunocompromised.

“Well... This situation seems familiar,” Namjoon chuckled, wincing when he realized that made his back hurt worse. “Yes, it is,” Hoseok sighed, looking at the dented and disorganized cans that were scattered on the floor. “Sorry about the mess,” You spoke up, Hoseok’s eyes finally registering on you. He seemed to freeze up, a nervous smile plastered on his face.

“It’s fine!” He said a bit too enthusiastically. Jimin snickered from the other side of Namjoon, giving Hoseok a teasing smirk. “Hobi! This is Y/n! The girl I’ve told you so much about!” Jimin smiled, and Hoseok’s cheeks reddened as he avoided eye contact with you. “Nice to meet you,” He coughed out. “You’ve seen me before... I’m not exactly shopping for food anywhere else,” You pointed out.

Hoseok looked up to you for a brief second before looking back down at his shoes. “Yeah! Yeah... Sorry you’re just, new,” He nervously chuckled. “I get it, I’ve heard not many people come to Bangtan. You just don’t hate me, right?” You asked cautiously, not knowing what you would do if the answer was yes. “No! I don’t hate you; I swear.” Hoseok cleared his throat, fiddling with his fingers.

“What Hoseok is trying to say is he doesn’t know how to approach new people. Like I’ve been telling you,” Jimin interrupted, giving you a “I told you so,” Look. “Whatever Jimin. But um, Hoseok? Could you do me a favor?” You asked, turning your attention back on the brunette. “Hmm?” Hoseok hummed, urging you to continue. “Could you take my place supporting Namjoon? He’s heavy...” You chuckled. Getting a laugh from Jimin, a complaint from Namjoon, and a soft smile of agreement from Hoseok.

After Namjoon it was Hoseok.

When all of you arrived back at Namjoon’s apartment and threw him on the floor, you and Hoseok made quick work of getting him an ice pack and medicine. You got Namjoon comfy on the couch with some blankets and pillows, an ice pack on his back, while Hoseok got him some water to swallow the pills he gave him.

Namjoon fell asleep shortly after he took the medicine. Whether he was already tired or the pills knocked him out, it didn’t matter; he was out like a light. All three of you chuckled at the snoring man, even if he sounded like a train in the distance, you thought he was cute. Jimin eventually had to clock into work, giving you a wink as he waved goodbye and rushed out the door. Leaving just you, Hoseok, and a sleeping Namjoon.

At first, the air between you and Hoseok was quite stale. The two of you exchanging basic words of pleasantries to keep an awkward silence at bay. But “How old are you?” and “Where are you from?” can only get you so far. So when the conversation died down, Hoseok suggested that you should put on a movie.

You didn’t pin Hoseok to be a superhero nerd, but he totally was. If his simping over Spiderman was anything to go off of. You weren’t necessarily a Marvel or DC guru, but you let Hoseok talk your ear off once he got comfortable.

Jimin wasn’t wrong when he said Hoseok was shy at first, then the loudest person you would ever meet. Because after a few minutes into the movie, he couldn’t hold in his excited soliloquy anymore. Once he got more comfortable in your presence, he would make comments here and there on what was happening and eventually you joined in, asking questions about anything you were lost on.

Hoseok was very sweet about your lack of knowledge about the universe and even offered to switch to an earlier movie in that confusing connected universe. That kicked off an entire movie marathon of Hoseok explaining everything to you and you intently listening, genuinely interested in the weird, bizarre world of super heros. You even picked your favorite out of the enormous bunch. Ironically, it was Spiderman... He’s just so lovable. You couldn’t help it, he was too charming.

Eventually, after 3 hours of a lesson on superheros and some villains, Namjoon woke up, still sore, but better. He even joined you on your marathon, mostly because he didn’t want to get up from the couch, but he did pay attention! You, Namjoon, and Hoseok laughed, talked, and bickered over the lore and more trivial things for hours, but it was all in good fun. “You’re cool, Hoseok,” You remember telling the brunette. Hoseok sought out to be a friend you could have endless amounts of fun with after that.

But the eventful day didn’t end there!

Because then Seokjin burst through the door.

“Okay so... You’re telling me that there’s this ex-surgeon turned mystical time lord, and that’s canon?” You asked Hoseok incredulously, the brunette trying not to laugh at your disbelieving attitude. Because in this world radioactive spiders, literal gods of thunder, and a whole, invisible kingdom named Wakanda exists... But no! Time lords are too much! “Yes, Y/n. Doctor Strange is canon,” Hoseok chuckled.

You furrowed your brow, leaning back into the couch more and (unintentionally) leaning into Namjoon more. He doesn’t mind though, you’re warm. “What are like... The rules of this world? Things like time manipulation opens up a whole new can of worms,” You pointed out. Hoseok shrugged, popping a piece of popcorn into his mouth. “I try not to like about the logistics. I mean, it’s superheros Y/n! Not exactly a philosophical conversation starter about the possibility of multiple timelines and aliens.”

Namjoon chuckled as you nodded, seeing his point. “It’s like those fantasy books you like to read, Y/n,” Namjoon said. “I guess I can see your point. Guess I’ll have to discuss the possibility of a multiverse with someone else,” You playfully sighed. Hoseok snorted, opening his mouth to say something before Namjoon’s front door burst open violently.

“Joon! You are so dead!” A masculine voice shouted. You shrunk into the couch while Hoseok and Namjoon looked towards the source of the ruckus. “Jin? What are you-” Namjoon speaks up, only to be cut off by this “Jin” person. “Oh you know why I’m here! You were supposed to help me organize files tonight!” The unfamiliar voice complained, and you slowly looked over the back of the couch.

Standing in the doorway was a man about as tall as Hoseok, dressed in a pristine grey suit with a green tie. He had dark brown hair that looked almost black in the low light of Namjoon’s apartment in a similar hairstyle to Taehyung. He had thin-rimmed circular glasses that enhanced his pretty brown eyes, that were currently wrinkled in annoyance. He was strikingly handsome with his plump lips and smooth-looking skin. You were seriously wondering what was in the water at Bangtan that made all these men seriously attractive.

Namjoon gasped, sitting up to get a better look at Jin, swallowing the wince as the pain from earlier in the day hasn’t quite dissipated yet. “I’m so sorry! It slipped my mind... I kinda... Got occupied,” Namjoon scratched the back of his neck nervously. Jin quirked a brown, still not acknowledging your presence even if you were right next to Namjoon. “What?” Jin asked, crossing his arms. “I... Ran into a can display,” Namjoon muttered out, looking down at his hands.

“Before you say anything. Yes, he did it again,” Hoseok spoke up, giving Namjoon a cheeky smirk. “But he got hurt this time,” Jin looked Namjoon up and down, taking in the bump on his forehead and disheveled appearance, finally letting out a sigh. “Alright just, text me next time, okay?” Jin said. Namjoon nodded giving him a thumbs up before he turned to you.

“Oh! Jin, this is Y/n.” Namjoon smiled. Jin’s head now turned to look at you, his eyes widening. “Y/n? Oh yeah! The girl you texted me about!” Jin walked closer to you, holding out one of his hands. You awkwardly took it, giving it a shake before Jin smiled. “I’m Seokjin. But please call me Jin because Seokjin makes me feel old and like I’m back at work.” He declared, and you chuckled at his practiced introduction. “Nice to meet you, Jin,” You replied, giving him a smile.

Jin’s attention then focused on the mess of junk food that sat on the coffee table, his upper lip furling in disdain. “Have you guys eaten any real food yet?” He asked, looking at all three of you briefly before he started cleaning up the mess. “No... And stop cleaning. It’s my apartment, I’ll get it,” Namjoon whined, only to get brushed off with a “You say that every time. What would you do without me?”

Jin continued to clean while you watched him and Namjoon bicker back and forth, turning to Hoseok for some sort of escape from how awkward you felt. Hoseok noticed your uncomfortable aura and chuckled. “it’s fine, they bicker like that all the time.” That made you feel a bit better. Knowing that you weren’t witnessing a rivalry go down right in front of you.

“You guys stay there and I’ll cook something that will actually give you nutrients, okay?” Jin called from the kitchen, but you quickly spoke up. “Oh no, you don’t have to count me in! I’ll just head home,” You said, standing up. jin quickly tutted you like a scolding mother with a “Nonsense! It’s nothing, really. Besides, I want to get to know you. What better way of doing that then over dinner?” You looked towards Namjoon and Hoseok, both of them shaking their heads, silently saying “There’s no use in arguing”

You surrendered, sitting back down on the couch. You missed the smile that crossed Jin’s face when he saw you give in, declaring to himself that he’d make an extra tasty meal. You, Hoseok, and Namjoon continued to watch Doctor Strange while Jin clanged around in the kitchen. The scent of what seemed to be bulgogi wafting through the air.

Soon, Jin called all of you over for dinner, Hoseok helping Namjoon to the dining room while you helped Jin set the table. Once you all sat down, everyone grabbed their bits of food, the three of them putting more food on your plate when they thought your plate was too empty. Using the excuse of “Leftovers are a hassle,” to subtly shrug off their doting over you.

After the first initial bites of food were on everyone’s stomachs, Jin piped up to ask you questions about yourself, offering information and embarrassing stories about him and his friend in return. It was easy to talk to Jin, his dad jokes and open personality meant that you felt it was easy to open up to him. Never once did he make a face of judgement or disgust at anything you said and it made you feel welcomed. (Not that the other didn’t make you feel welcomed, it was just that Jin was easy to talk to,)

“I love your necklace, by the way. Where’d you get it?” Jin asked, pointing to the old family heirloom that still hung around your neck. “It’s an heirloom, I have no idea where it came from,” You chuckled, fidgeting with the cool, teal stone. “Well, it’s beautiful. Seems oddly familiar too,” He commented, getting nods of agreement from Hoseok and Namjoon. You shrugged, stuffing the last bit of meat into your mouth. “Thank you for dinner. Jin,” You smiled.

After Hoseok it was Seokjin.

That night you went home with a full stomach and new contacts in your phone. All the boys you met so far sending you a goodnight text. Some filled with emojis, others declaring that you should hang out with them more. It made you feel all warm and gushy inside. The prospect of having friends that cared about you enough to send you goodnight texts was a dream a few months ago. Now you could send goodnight texts back.

The chirping of crickets and rustling of leaves narrated the walk back to your tiny cottage. Now that you were alone, you thought back to when you met Namjoon. That grey wolf you were chasing seemed to suddenly disappear once you bumped into him. Namjoon is tall. Maybe that scared it off? You didn’t know, who knows about the behaviors of wolves? Nature nerds. So probably Namjoon.

Then again, it didn’t seem aggressive, just curious. What if it saw you and got curious? Just wanting to see what you were all about. That made you feel somewhat guilty. You probably scared the poor thing by breaking out into a sprint. That didn’t mean you’d walk up to one the next time you see one, but it just meant you’d probably be a bit less anxious.

And you were right, the next time you saw one you were very calm. Whether that was because the wolf was surprisingly domestic or it was the man you found petting it that made all sense of danger blank from your mind. But the calm wind that blew through his hair as he looked you up and down was something you’d remember forever. Because now, in the strangest way...

Yoongi entered your life.

You decided to try a nature day again. A run in with a wolf and one sprained ankle isn’t going to stop you from admiring the beauty that is the forest of Bangtan. You were either brave or stupid. Probably a bit of both. Nonetheless, you grabbed your bag, slipped on your sneakers, and set off into the woods with a new sense of determination.

You don’t know what your end goal is; you didn’t plan that far ahead. All you cared about was appreciating nature, alone, with no interruptions. Today was a hotter day than before. The skies with nothing but blue as the sun beat down on the world below it. Luckily, the forest had a good canopy of trees to block you from being directly hit by the sun's rays.

It was another calming day of birds chirping and small animals scurrying about, no ominous rustling this time, just you and the odd animals of Bangtan forest. You kept up the joke of waving to the animals that would stop and stare at you, some of them taking a few steps closer, some of them tilting their heads, but none of them running away. It made you feel like a forest fairy that could talk to them, even if that was a ridiculous idea.

This time you were able to venture deeper into the forest, the trees getting thicker, and the animals seemed to get bigger. Not paranormally so, but enough to notice. “They probably just eat better deeper in the forest,” You observed aloud, continuing your walk as you stopped occasionally to smell the wildflowers that lined the path.

While you were busy admiring and smelling what looked to be chicory, a bump against your leg caused you to look down. Down at your feet was a large squirrel. The critter looked up at you with big beady eyes, its small hands holding an acorn. “Aww, hello!” You cooed, not moving in fear of startling the fuzzy creature. It ran laps around your feet a couple of times before stopping, looking back up at you once again.

You quirked your head to the side, chuckling at the squirrel's odd behavior. It did that routine a couple more times before you moved, taking a step back onto the path. The squirrel turned and ran a few feet down the path, turning around to look at you once again. The two of you stared at each other before it came back, circling your feet then heading down the path at the spot it was previously in.

Curious, you walked towards the squirrel. The fluff ball kept goes a few feet down the path every time you caught up to it, waiting for you before it continued that routine. You questioned yourself whether you were really blindly following a squirrel in hopes of it leading you somewhere important, but you just felt like you had to.

Soon the squirrel detoured off the beaten path, turning to look at you from the thick brush. “I’m not moving off the path, little guy,” You said, drawing this goose chase to a close when you felt like it could possibly endanger you. The squirrel didn’t let up though, it just went back to circling and bumping your legs, it’s eyes silently pleading with you.

Sighing, you decided that if it stayed straight, then you would follow it, thinking that it would be easy to turn around if this was really useless. The squirrel continued to lead you through the forest, staying on its own straight path before the forest opened up into a clearing.

The grass was a vibrant green and there was a thick oak tree standing on a hill, just slightly off center. But it wasn’t the odd natural phenomenon that caught your attention. It was the man and the wolf that were sitting under the tree. The squirrels bumped against your leg again, trying to get you to walk toward them, but you refused, slightly nervous.

But the wolf didn’t seem to give you a choice as it spotted you and bolted right towards you. You felt your heart jump to your throat as you tripped on your own feet, falling backwards on the ground. You prepared for pain. A bite. A scratch. Anything. But you only got the cold wet touch of its nose while it sniffed you and the soft tickle of its fur when it rubbed its head against your head.

Slowly, you lifted your hand up and the wolf took the liberty of putting its head under it. You pet the large animal with wide eyes, not noticing that the man from before had gotten up and walked towards you. The wolf curled up next to you, whining whenever you stopped petting it. “He’s a baby,” A sleepy voice spoke up beside you.

You whipped your head up to see a man with brass blonde hair and brown eyes. He seemed about as tall as Jimin, and he had a flower sticking out of his pocket. His face was stoic, looking at you with subtle curiosity. “W-What?” You asked, still a bit blown away by the sequence of events that just played out. “Holly, the wolf you’re petting,” He said, pointing down to the wolf that was now asleep.

“O-Oh... Yeah,” You said, perplexed, looking down at the sleeping canine. The man sat down next to you, petting Holly alongside with you. “You’re not from around here, are you?” He asked, looking you right in the eye. “Not really... I just moved here... I’m Y/n,” You answered. “I know. The others like to talk about you,” He shrugged, catching you off guard. “I’m Yoongi,”

Ah, you’ve heard about Yoongi. The others described him as a quiet, old man, and you could see what they mean. Yoongi looked like the kind of person that knew all of life’s secrets but wouldn’t tell you because you “Didn’t ask,” He had an aura of mystery around him, but everyone else insisted he was a kind soul who you could tell all your problems to and he’d instantly make it better.

“They really talk about me that much?” You chuckled, shaking your head.

“Yeah, I’ve been excited to meet you,” He said, sounding very unexcited, but you believed him anyway.

“Have you been too busy to?”

“No, I had to wait for the right time,”

You tilted your head, furrowing your eyebrows. “The right time?” You asked. “I knew we’d meet, eventually. You’ll meet everyone eventually,” He responded cryptically, and you decided to drop the subject. The two of you sat together in silence, but it was a comfortable one. Neither of you felt to need to talk over the chirping birds or snoring Holly.

You didn’t quite notice how Yoongi kept stealing glances at your necklace or the hopeful gummy smile that crossed his face.

After Seokjin it was Yoongi.

After that day, Yoongi would invite you over to his flower shop more, insisting that you take a flower home every time you left. The two of you didn’t hang out as often alone as you did with Jimin or Namjoon, but you still became friends. Whenever you were upset, Yoongi would walk with you to that clearing, sitting with you under the tree while Holly rested his head on your lap.

The docile wolf used to weird you out, even if Yoongi explained that all the animals in the forest were friendly. You just couldn’t understand that an apex predator could shrug you off and even demand cuddles from you, but Holly was a sweetie, so you didn’t complain. Yoongi would often say weird and bizarre things, most of them very cryptic, but you learned it was normal and everyone just went along with it.

Yoongi would often ask about your necklace and your family. Asking where you got it, where your family was from, if they’ve even been to Bangtan. It was a bit odd, but you just chalked it up to Yoongi wanting to know more about you and your weird looking necklace. Besides, it’s not like the two of you didn’t have fun together.

Sometimes he would sit and talk to Namjoon with you, he’d bake together with you and Jin, get dragged along to the arcade with Jimin and Taehyung, or put up with you weekly movie nights with Hoseok. Yoongi became a friend too, never failing to be a rock for you to lean on or a shoulder to cry on, and he didn’t seem to mind. Not one bit. He even soothed your worries about the youngest of the bunch not liking you.

Cause then you finally met Jeongguk.

“Are you saying you don’t like my cream puffs?” Jin gasped, pointing his spatula at the 5 of you currently lounging in Namjoon’s living room. Yoongi shrugged and Jimin stuck his tongue out in disgust, earning another gasp from Jin. “Don’t worry Jin! I like them,” You spoke up, giving the elder a smile. “Thank you, Y/n. You’re the only one I can rely on,” He playfully sighed, getting an eye roll from both Namjoon and Hoseok.

You watched Jin move around the kitchen for a few more minutes, “Why are you baking so much?” You asked. Jin lifted his head to look at you, giving you a small smile. “Gukkie’s coming home from the academy!” He exclaimed excitedly. After hanging out with all of them for more that a month, you came to realize that “Jeongguk” “Guk” and “Gukkie” was the same person. “The academy?” You questioned.

“Yeah! He had to go for his yearly training, but some seniors asked him to help train the rookies, so he stayed. He’s coming home today!” Jin continued his ministrations as you let out an “ohh” understanding why you’ve heard so much about Jeongguk but he never seemed to be around, even if Yoongi said him, Jimin, and Taehyung used to go to the arcade often.

You let out a sigh, laying your head down on top of Taehyung’s lap, closing your eyes. You failed to see the red that painted Taehyung’s face or the way he looked up to everyone else to see if they were seeing what he was seeing. They were. And you all wished they were Taehyung right now. Hoseok pouted, Jimin gave Taehyung a sly smirk. The eldest looking at your tired form with soft worry. They knew you had a long night; it was written all over your face.

You don’t know when you drifted off to sleep, but you were awoken with a start. The sound of happy cheers pulled you out of the sleep realm, Taehyung running his hand through your hair to ground you. You looked up with dreary eyes, burying your face into Taehyung’s stomach in an attempt to hang onto the threads of sleep that were slowly slipping through your fingers.

“Sorry,” Taehyung whispered to you, feeling his heart pound against his ribcage at how cute you looked. But his efforts of lulling you back to dream land were thwarted and Jimin dragged you off the couch, rambling something about Guk and backs. You didn’t know, you could barely stand at this point.

“Guk! Meet Y/n!” Jimin chipped while you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes. You opened your eyes to see a tall man with brown hair like Jins. He had brown eyes like the others, but his skin was tan like Namjoon’s, a little lighter, probably because of working out in the sun.

He gave you a shy smile that showed off his bunny like teeth. “H-Hello,” He stuttered out, the tips of his ears reddening. “Hi, nice to finally meet you,” You smiled sleepily, leaning your head on Jimin’s shoulder for support. “You too... You’re very pretty,” He chuckled out nervously, his bluntness caught you off guard. “Thank you,” You giggled, cheeks heating up before he got whisked away by his hyungs so they could catch up.

Jin stuffed Jeongguk full of the food he made while Jimin and Taehyung pulled him into annoying Yoongi. It was amusing to watch how well he reintegrated into their group, like he wasn’t gone for 3 months. The boys fit together so easily and naturally, like a perfect ecosystem in play. You wondered if you could get to that point with them.

Jeongguk was obviously influenced by his hyungs a lot. He had the love for superheros like Hoseok, the mischief of Jimin and Taehyung. He was physically built like Namjoon put had a soft nature like Yoongi, The only influence that wasn’t overtly obvious was Jin, but you could see the subtle caregiver tendencies like putting extra food on Yoongi’s plate.

All 8 of you talked over dinner, everyone else trying to push Jeongguk to talk to you. Which you did. Jeongguk told you about his time as a police officer and some of the odd stories that came along with it. The others occasionally butting in to embarrass him.

By the end of the night, Jeongguk and you had gotten to know each other well, with the help of the other, as all 8 of you feel asleep in Namjoon’s living room. Infinity War playing on the tv. You laid on Jeongguk’s shoulder and he laid his head on top of yours; the others cooing at the two of you.

That was 2 years ago.

It was a normal day in Bangtan. Sunny, clear skies, and a whole lot of ruckus. The boys decided to visit you for the day, saying that they needed a day to hangout with everyone together. You didn’t mind though; you were more than used to the impromptu visits that any (or all) of them would make to your house.

Jimin, Tae, and Guk were sat in your living room playing a game of Mario Kart while Yoongi and Jin helped you make dinner. Hobi and Joon talking to the three of you while they sat around your kitchen island. “Alright, Hobi. Time lords were right on the line. Purple alien dilf? Crossing it,” You laughed, cutting up some radish for the kimchi Jin planned to make with you tomorrow.

Hoseok gasped, while Namjoon wheezed with his forehead on the counter. “Okay I’ve heard a lot of things about Thanos. Purple alien dilf is a new one,” He cackled, his lips stretching into the heart-shaped smile that make your face hot. “She’s not wrong,” Yoongi shrugged, throwing some beef into an already prepped pan. “Just because she’s right doesn’t mean she should say it!” Guk called from the living room, obviously hearing every word that was spoken despite him being in another room.

You giggled, offering a piece of carrot to Hoseok and one to Namjoon when he whined about you picking favorites. In these past 2 years you’ve grown to really care about the boys who slipped into your life so abruptly, some more oddly than others. (Cough. Yoongi.) But they all just stayed. Every day you would learn more about all of them and they would learn more about you. I mean, you wouldn’t have guessed that Jin loved stuffed animals. But he does.

The only problem that came with leaning more about them was slowly turning that care into admiration. What you're trying to avoid saying is the word “love” because you refuse to let yourself feel something that could be detrimental to the carefully crafted friend dynamic all of you have built. But deep down you knew that what you felt for them was anything but platonic.

Friends don’t want to cuddle with each other under the stars. Friends don’t look at each other's lips and think about how soft they’d be against your own. Friends don’t think about living in a house together and eventually growing old while you watch your kids carry on your legacy. Friends don’t do or think about that.

However, it’s not that you have a crush on one of them. It’s all of them. That’s what confuses you and makes you push your feelings away. How was that possible? Loving all of them? How was is possible to think about getting morning kisses from both Jin and Joon? Was is weird to think about holding hands with both Jimin and Jeongguk while you went to go meet up with Taehyung for a quadruple date? What would they say if they found out you thought about having a picnic out at that clearing with Yoongi, Hoseok, and Holly by your side under the tree while the others play around? The possibility of them being grossed out by you was scary. So you suppressed your emotions.

You ignored the way you would shiver when their skin brushed yours. You suppress the dreamy sighs every time you got stuck in a daydream. You forced a smile whenever jealously would bubble up in your stomach at the sight of other happy couples, wishing you could have what they have, but with all of your best friends.

“Our 2 year anniversary is tomorrow,” Yoongi spoke up randomly, very in character for him. “Random,” Hoseok snorted. “2 year anniversary?” Yoongi nodded, not taking his attention off of the cooking meat. “2 years since Y/n became our friend. We should celebrate,” Yoongi suggested, getting hums of agreement from the rest of the boys. “Wait a minute, I met you all on different days. Except Hobi and Jin. So technically there’s no date to pinpoint,” You pointed out.

But Yoongi merely chuckled, turning to you with a gummy smile. “I’m saying that the day you met Guk is the day that we all became friends,” Yoongi declared. “I don’t see why not,” Taehyung spoke up from behind you suddenly, wrapping his arms around your waist. You had to swallow the squeal that threatened to spill out of your mouth. “Maybe we can go to that clearing you and Yoongi are always seeking off to,” Guk said.

There was no room for arguments apparently since all of them eagerly agreed and they even gave you puppy eyes so you physically couldn’t say no. Soon enough, Yoongi and Jin switched to prepping food for tomorrow while Hoseok and Guk went to Hoseok’s mart to get some snacks. Namjoon pulled you away from the kitchen with the excuse, “We need to pick books to read tomorrow,” which made you playfully roll your eyes since Namjoon has raided your book collection 2 times already.

But you indulged them, letting them do their own things for tomorrow until eventually nightfall came and they had to go home. “We’ll pick you up and 8!” Hoseok called to you as they walked down your driveway. You watched them go from the doorway, heart in your throat as you thought about how amazing they were.

The youngest were always willing to cheer you up whenever you needed it. Yoongi was a shoulder to cry on. Namjoon and Jin were overprotective caregiver types that made your heart swoon. Hoseok could always whisk you away from stress and worries by distracting your overactive brain with silly movies and late night rendezvous star gazing. You wanted to cross that line between lovers and friends so bad. But you couldn’t. Because it was all or nothing and you’d never choose.

“Holly!” You cheered as the 8 of you broke through the tree line into the familiar clearing where the cheerful wolf was waiting for you. He always seemed to be waiting for you. Holly tackled you onto the ground, nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck before he got up and playfully jumped around you.

“I still can’t believe you domesticated a wolf, Yoongi,” Jin commented.

“I didn’t,”

At this point everyone learned to shrug off Yoongi’s weird speech blips, filing them down as “Random Yoongi Things,” in your brains. Soon, a blanket was set up underneath the sturdy oak tree, you and Yoongi laying down on it, basking in the sun rays that peaked through the leaves. Jeongguk and Taehyung were playing with Holly while Namjoon read and the other three ate, the atmosphere one of comfort and content.

“You’ve been thinking about something recently,” Yoongi spoke up from beside you, turning his head to look at you. “You know everything, don’t you, Yoongs?” You snickered. continuing to watch the clouds blow by. “I’m serious Y/n. You seem... resistant. Are we making you uncomfortable or something?” He asked, looking at you with slight worry. “No... It’s not you,” You sighed, turning to look back at Yoongi.

“Is it work? You know Jin told you about overworking yourself,”

“Nono, please don’t get eomma Jin over here,” You laughed, getting a chuckle from Yoongi.

“Then what’s up? You know you can talk to me about anything.”

Anything? You thought. How am I supposed to admit to you that I’m in love with seven men when I can barely admit that to myself? You wanted to keep your mouth shut. You wanted to turn away and change the subject to the cloud shaped like a pizza roll, but you were trapped in the sparkling brown of Yoongi’s mocha eyes.

Just as you opened your mouth, a giggly Jimin tackled you. He hugged you close, hiding you away from everyone else. “Chim!” You giggled, trying your best to wiggle out of his grasp. Soon, Jeongguk and Taehyung joined in on the dog pile, making sure not to crush you but also not afraid to wrestle you a little bit. “Hey! Cut it out! You’ll hurt her!” Jin spoke up in his eomma voice, successfully getting them to stop.

Your earlier conversation with Yoongi is forgotten as all 7 of them pass you around for a day full of them. You play with Holly and the youngest, then Namjoon sits and reads with you, Jin makes sure you eat, why you take a quick power nap on Hoseok’s lap, missing the very serious conversation they had with each other.

“But what if your wrong Yoongi? What is she doesn’t want to be with all of us,” Jeongguk whined.

“She does, I can feel it,”

“Yoongi, we’re your best friends and you do have freakishly good intuition. But Jeongguk’s right, What if you’re wrong and she leaves?” Hoseok sighed, petting your hair unconsciously. “Trust me, it has to turn out like this,” Yoongi declared. “Or what? The world will end? Yoongi, sometimes I wish you’d speak less like a story narrator,” Taehyung snorted, earning an eye roll.

“Okay so, we all decided to man up and ask, problem is, how do we do that?” Namjoon questioned, an awkward silence following after.

“We just... Ask...” Jin suggested.

“Brilliant plan Jin. 10/10.” Jimin said sarcastically.

“I’m serious! What if we sit her down and just talk out our feelings?”

“That could work, alright that’s the plan,” Namjoon settled, the rest of them nodding and planning what they wanted to say in their minds.

You rubbed the sleep out of your eyes, looking at the men who were lined up, sitting next to each other in front of you. “Okay, so. What’s going on?” You sleepily drawled, letting out a yawn. “We have something to tell you,” Namjoon choked out, fiddling with his hands. “Alright, go on,” You pressed, giving them your undivided attention.

Nobody spoke up, all of them either avoiding eye contact or finding the blanket really interesting. Suddenly they all blurted something out at the same time, looking at each other before trying again and doing the same things a second time. “Oh for goodness sake,” Yoongi groaned, lurching forward to connect his lips with yours.

You gasped, eyes wide as the feeling of Yoongi’s soft lips clashed with yours. Your eyes eventually fell closed as you savored the feeling of Yoongi’s tongue dancing with your own, him sucking in your bottom lip, giving it a bite as you let out a small whimper. Your body felt feverish as your mind turned into slush. Nothing but the smack of your tongues and the warmth of his plush lips filled your thoughts as everything was solely just Yoongi.

“Yoongi! We were supposed to talk, not show!” Jimin complained, tugging at Yoongi’s sweatshirt. Yoongi reluctantly pulled away, giving you a chance to gasp for air, eyes lidded as both Yoongi and Jimin looked down at you with admiration in their eyes. “W-Wha..?” You gasped out, mind still struggling to pull itself back from the depths of passion.

Namjoon pushed them both to the side and he cupped your face in his hands. You leaned into his touch, looking up at him with flushed cheeks and swollen lips. “What we wanted to say was... We... We really like you. All of us. All seven. And I know it’s not the most traditional thing ever but we really want to be with you, all of us.” Namjoon spluttered out, trying his best to get his point across.

“How do you feel about seven boyfriends?” Jin asked over his shoulder.

“Sounds like heaven,” You sighed, feeling like a weight had been lifted off of your shoulders. All of them broke out in smiles, pulling you into a big group hug full of kisses and sweet words that promised to take care of you and be the best boyfriends they could be. Soon, the enthusiastic hug settled more into a cuddle, all of you eventually laying down on the blanket, looking at the setting sun.

You slowly felt sleep clawing at your body, the eventful day mixed with the secure warmth of the cacoon the boys wrapped you in. “Does this mean we can hold hands, kiss, and cuddle now?” You spoke up hopefully. “Absolutely” Hoseok sighed, pulling you closer to him. “Um... Y/n?” Jin spoke up. “Hmm?” You hummed with your eyes closed. “Is... Is that normal?” He asked and you opened your eyes to see him pointing down at your necklace. Which was now glowing.

From that day your life got a lot weirder.

And Yoongi made a lot more sense.

#bts #bts fic #bts oneshot #bts x reader #jeon jungkook #kim taehyung #park jimin #kim namjoon #jung hoseok #min yoongi #kim seokjin

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joonni · 4 years ago

Text

Christmas lights | Jimin x reader

Characters: Jimin x reader, ft. Taehyung, a bunch of 95 liners and Jungkook

Tags: friends to lovers, high school reunion

Genre: fluffy fluff🌼

Word count: 8,9k

Warnings: alcohol consumption

Summary: A reunion with your high school classmates, a lit-up Myeongdong, bustling streets full of people shopping for Christmas presents, your dear friends that you haven’t seen in so long. It already sounds like a fun evening. What you don’t expect to find out though, is the reason why Nayeon always has and still apparently hates you. And that it has to do with Jimin.

- a part of the Christmas collab by @kooala

a/n in the tags! hope you enjoy!💕

Song recs: christmas lights, from: me, love you on christmas

It looks like it’s going to snow. The air is crisp, and the thick clouds are covering Seoul like a heavy blanket. You stuff your hands into your pockets as you scold yourself for forgetting the handwarmer you bought earlier. It would come in handy now. The subway ride had warmed you up, but all of the warmth escaped your body once you climbed up the stairs and took a lungful of the cold outside air.

You’re now standing in front of the sixth exit of Myeongdong station, waiting for Wheein and Hyejin who organized this whole thing of a reunion. A sign on a nearby bus stop says it’s just one degree above zero and this new acquired piece of knowledge only makes you shiver more.

Seeing a group of high schoolers in their uniforms pass by made you reminisce those times, when life was probably a bit easier than now, even if it didn’t seem like it back then. You used to be an inseparable trio in high school, always hanging out together, spending your free time either in one of the many coin noraebangs or pc bangs around your school. It made you miss the idle afternoons spent singing your heart out into the microphones with those thin fabric covers and becoming so hungry that you each ate a whole serving of tteokbokki and then get scolded at home for being too full to eat dinner.

When you found out that you got into a different university than your two friends, you all promised to keep in touch and to meet often. Which you did, if you’d define often as once every few months.

Today was finally one of those days. You were excited to meet them both, but they could hurry up a bit. You pace around the entrance to the shopping district in an attempt to warm yourself up, the tower on top of Namsan peeking through the clouds signaling the air pollution is fairly bad by its yellowish color.

Your toes are starting to get cold and your ears are not much warmer but then you feel a weight landing around your shoulders. You jump up because of the sudden intrusion into your personal space but calm down as soon as you see two familiar faces.

“Y/n! Sorry for being late!” Wheein sheepishly grins at you, her head poking out of a giant fluffy scarf.

You know her far too well, when was she ever on time. You still haven’t lost hope with her though and always come on time.

Hyejin then adds as she sneaks her arm around yours, “I tried to make her hurry, but you know how she is.”

Wheein furrows her brows at you both as you start walking but soon joins in and locks her arm with your other one. It only makes you laugh, and you stumble, arm in arm, through the crammed streets of Myeongdong.

“Your hair is so long now, Y/n.” Hyejin comments. “I may be swayed by the bob trend, but I like short hair better. And I realized only after cutting it that long hair is such a pain.”

You chuckle at that. “My mom cut my hair short my whole childhood. Don’t you think I deserve long hair at least now?”

“Suit yourself but you’re gonna understand sooner or later that short hair is superior.”

“Yeah, sure, sure.” You brush off her words jokingly.

“Not to interrupt the hair debate but, Y/n, are you sure you’re gonna be alright if Jimin comes?”

You look at Wheein with incredulous eyes while holding on to both of your friends so that you don’t lose each other in the crowd. “How many times do I have to tell you I’m long over him. You’re both insufferable, you know that?” You say laughing and poke Wheein with your elbow.

So far, this evening looks like it’s going to be great. Having these two by your side makes you feel invincible, the same as in high school. The swarm of people blocking your way seems like a piece of cake to get through with them next to you.

The only thing that bothers you is that Hyejin with Wheein invited every single one of your classmates. It was up to them if they decided to come or not after all. They assured you that people change and grow up, that it’s been three years since you last saw everyone.

You wanted to believe your friends, but your gut feeling was telling you some people are never going to change.

The pub Wheein booked is located in one of the smaller streets that connect the main streets, and one would most likely miss it if not looking for it specifically. Your fingers slowly start to melt as you go up one flight of stairs and enter the already bustling pub, your two friends following right behind you.

As luck would have it, your eyes fall on the one person you hoped not to see. Nayeon spots you and your friends as soon as the glass door closes behind you, sending you a crooked smile. You can’t help but sigh at the sight of your high school nemesis. Right next to her sits Jisoo, a girl that never really did anything bad to you but being a bystander to Nayeon’s shenanigans was as bad in your eyes.

Why the girl didn’t like you, she never said, but she did make it obvious enough. Even now, as she stared you up and down with an irritating look.

Some people are never going to change, you thought. What a lovely start to the party.

Hyejin obviously notices the shift in your mood and pulls you by your hand to the other side of the tables booked for your class.

“Y/n, don’t let that girl ruin your mood so easily!” She sounds worried but her voice is firm. “Three years went by since you last saw everyone, are you going to let her ruin this for you? For everyone? Don’t even look her way if she’s going to act like a brat.”

You can see the sincerity of Hyejin’s words in her eyes and try to look as unbothered by Nayeon’s stare as possible.

“I know, thanks.” You give her a small smile.

It’s not easy to fool your friend, but she must have seen your will to at least try because she’s sitting you down at the table next to your friends which you haven’t seen since graduation and joining Wheein at the counter, probably because of some more organization with the pub staff.

Once the two finally join in on the fun, much more people have come and you are actually having a nice conversation with Woosik, Taehyung and a boy you weren’t sure you remembered the name of. You were talking about everything and anything that happened during the time you haven’t seen each other. Which universties the others are attending, how your homeroom teacher had quit and started her own business and that one of your classmates is already married with a child on the way.

Nayeon is still slightly getting on your nerves because you can hear her obnoxious fake laugh from the other side of the room but it’s bearable with the others distracting you. A lot has changed since high school, but of course her demeanor stayed the same.

“So, guys, the food is unlimited for that set price I sent you earlier so just remember how much you drank, got it?” You hear Wheein shout and clank a chopstick against a bottle of soju in the middle of the pub.

“I’m really happy so many of us gathered today so let’s have some fun!” She continues even louder and everyone including you shouts in celebration, some people even clapping and clinking glasses.

“Cheers!” Taehyung raises his glass over the center of your table, which happens to be a grill with sizzling meat, but people seated around you immediately join the toast. “Cheers to Jimin hopefully arriving before we get too drunk.” He then adds.

You see Woosik raising his brows in surprise. “I assumed he’s not coming since he’s not here already. What happened to our always on time class president?”

Everyone laughs at that, remembering that Jimin was always the first one in class in the morning.

Taehyung then proceeds to defend his friend after downing the shot of soju in his hand. “He’s really punctual even now. He just had something important at school he couldn’t afford to miss. But he’ll be here any minute now, I think.”

You hear Hyejin scoff. “It’s a Friday evening for God’s sake! Let us live, professors!”

A few people start complaining about the stuff their teachers make them do but before you can share your complaints about all the assignments you had to complete by the end of the semester, you hear excited welcomes from the other part of the pub. Nayeon’s squealing is especially hard to miss.

It makes everyone from your table lift their eyes to the entrance, where stands no one else than your class president.

“Speak of the devil.” Woosik says and Hyejin sends you a wicked grin and wiggles her eyebrows.

No matter how many times you told her that you really are over your high school crush, she wouldn’t believe you.

“You don’t have any closure though.” Was what both her and Wheein would tell you every time. Did you really need closure for a crush that never developed into anything more than that though?

Your high school self thought that a one-sided love was pretty great. You could like a person as much as you wanted and then stop whenever you felt like it. And you convinced your heart you felt like stopping once you graduated.

Your friends then tried setting you up with some guys, you went on dates with some of them, but the spark was never there.

At some point you managed to persuade your girls to stop trying so hard, which only reinforced their belief that Jimin was still occupying a part of your heart.

“Jimin!” Taehyung jumps up from his seat, soju bottles on the table shaking and the chair he was sitting on almost falling over.

You see Jimin’s features soften as his excited and a bit tipsy friend tightly hugs him like a koala.

He looks so different from the boy you used to have a crush on. His hair is now longer and a silverish color, both of his ears pierced by two small golden hoops, he’s wearing a bright red cardigan under a long black coat and black boots that make him look taller than what you remember.

The one thing that hasn’t visibly changed is the way his eyes turn into half-moons when he smiles.

Your heart does a flip when his eyes stop on yours for a while, that smile still plastered on his face.

Maybe you do need closure after all.

When you wake up from your daze, Taehyung is already dragging a free chair to your table, making Woosik and the other boy scoot over so that they can all fit.

Like that, you find yourself seated right across from Jimin, stealing glances at him while trying to keep track of the conversation as well as your composure. It could be just your imagination, but you feel his eyes on you too. You’re just not brave enough to face him, not trusting yourself judging from the glitch in your brain his mere presence caused.

The waitress brings a new glass and a plate for Jimin and as soon as she turns around, everyone’s attention is on the latecomer. Hyejin compliments his hair color but Taehyung immediately gushes that the pink he had on before was so much better.

“I got tired of it, Tae. Why don’t you dye your own hair, huh?” Jimin rustles his friend’s overgrown curly hair as he defends his hair color choice.

“I treasure my hair more than to bleach it.”

“You sure do. That’s why you‘ve gotten it permed.”

“Yah, Jimin! You don’t have to call me out like that.” You all crack up at that, Taehyung’s face turning into a sulking grimace.

Even though Jimin looks so different, he still seems to be the same boy inside, cracking jokes with Taehyung yet appearing to be the calmer one of the boys.

Some shots of soju and classmates’ stories later, Hyejin starts grumbling about the other table. “I thought Nayeon would calm down, but she’s still the same, huh?”

“I seriously don’t understand how Jisoo tolerates that girl’s temper.” You add. “I don’t even know what I did for her to hate me so much.” A pout forms on your lips.

“Right!” Hyejin is leaning in your direction to hold your hand with both of hers. “She’s never had a real reason to be so mean to our Y/n.”

“Wait, you seriously don’t know why she didn’t like Y/n?” Woosik then asks.

You look at him with a puzzled expression, your eyes then falling on Jimin who is seemingly… blushing?

“How would you of all people know that, Woosik?” Hyejin squints her eyes at your classmate who only chuckles and pats the blushing boy’s shoulder before continuing.

“She had the biggest crush on Jimin!”

“And…?” You pause, taking in Jimin’s embarrassed face. “What’s that to do with me?” You were confused to say the least.

Hyejin was more bored than anything by his statement. “Everyone knows that, Woosik. She walked around having it practically written on her forehead all throughout high school.”

You notice Jimin is pouring himself a shot and downing it right away, as if trying to catch up with the rest of you. You feel like everyone except for Hyejin and yourself knows some amazing secret that they were never kind enough to share.

“Ouch!” Woosik then cries out. “What was that for?” The table trembles a little.

Taehyung shakes his head at him. “Woosik, you sure talk too much when you’ve had something to drink.” He forces a smile that looks more intimidating than friendly. Jimin sitting between them is just looking down at the table, as if the plate in front of him was the most interesting thing in the world right now.

“You’re so secretive guys!” Hyejin whines, leaning on her hands against the table. “Tell me, tell me.” She seems already drunk by the way she can’t sit straight and also by the fact she can’t read the atmosphere.

“I’m gonna use the restroom for a bit.” You quickly make your escape from the tense air that surrounded your table. As you take a peek over your shoulder at where you were sitting a few seconds ago, Hyejin is still whining about them not letting her in on the secret and Wheein is just moving to yet another spot, probably trying to talk to every single person present tonight.

When you wash your hands and look at yourself in the bathroom mirror, your clouded mind wanders to the previous conversation again. If you think about how Woosik put it, it almost sounds like… like Nayeon didn’t like you because you were in her way, blocking her from snatching Jimin.

You’re pretty sure you never told no one about your crush, apart from your two friends whom you trusted to not spill anything. Also, she wouldn’t hate you just because of that, right? Other girls, God knows maybe even guys, must have been crushing on Jimin, so why would she hate you of all people?

Lost in thought and wiping the water from your hands in your trousers on your way back, you’re suddenly stopped by a wall. Wait, a wall? You lift your head to inspect the soft obstacle that has made you stop and the sight you’re met with is enough to make your heart skip a beat.

Jimin is standing mere inches away from you, looking as confused and dumbfounded as you.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you. You okay?” he asks, his voice laced with concern, both arms gently holding your shoulders.

You take a quick step back from him. “I’m alright. Sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

Can it be more awkward than this, you cry out in your mind and you pace out of the dim corridor. Jimin’s appearance managed to agitate you once again tonight.

“Y/n…!” Jimin’s voice stops you in your tracks. “I’m… I’m sorry for that earlier. The air became so heavy, I’m not even surprised you ran off from that table. You’re not upset, right?” He hesitates a little on that last sentence and you see a shy smile spreading on his features when you face him again.

As expected of the attentive and kind class president, always caring for others before thinking about himself.

Shaking your head, you reply. “I have no reason to be. If anyone should be upset, it’s you.” You shoot him a sheepish smile. “You looked pretty uncomfortable when the topic was brought up.”

“Ah.” Is what falls out of Jimin’s mouth and he reaches for the back of his neck, rubbing the spot hesitantly. “I know I’m supposed to treat everyone objectively as the former class president but… Nayeon is a bit too much to handle, you know?”

“Yeah, she was always a force to be reckoned with. Especially when it comes to you.”

“Right…” He sighs. “Sorry again for bumping into you like that.”

“It’s really nothing, Jimin. Don’t worry.” At that, he only smiles and passes you in the way to the bathroom.

You return to the table only to find Hyejin almost laying on the table face-front, mumbling something about Taehyung being a meanie. A long exhale escapes your lips at the thought of helping Wheein carry Hyejin to their apartment.

“Who’s down for round two?” Taehyung asks, hands busy playing with the strap of a cap from some soju bottle. “This place is dying down!”

“Let’s git it!” Hyejin mumbles and slaps one of her palms against the table surface. Both Woosik and Taehyung look at her with disbelief but start laughing after a while.

“Hyejin, you’re going home.” You scold her as if she were a kid. “No more drinks for you tonight, girl.”

“Y/n, I can take her home just fine, you go have your fun.” All of a sudden Wheein appears next to you and flashes you a brief wicked grin right after finishing her sentence.

“Whee, are you sure?” You send her a concerned look, baffled by the timing of her appearance. “I know how she gets when she’s had too much soju.”

She just waves her hand at you dismissively. “Don’t worry about her so much. We’re gonna get home just fine. It’s the opposite direction from your place anyways.”

“Okaaay, so Y/n is coming with us!” Taehyung then announces right as Jimin comes back. “Woosik? You down?”

“Sure, let’s burn this Friday down!”

Taehyung then continues, turning to the silver haired boy. “Jimin, you have no right to object. You came late so you need to make up for it.”

You were about to reject the invitation but Jimin was faster at replying. “Guess I have no choice.” He then lifted his gaze at you. “Let’s try to stay the more sober ones, Y/n. These two are already doomed to have a bad hangover anyways.” He gestures to Taehyung and Woosik. “Sounds like a plan?”

The idea of leaving drunk Hyejin with tipsy Wheein and staying out with the guys suddenly didn’t seem that bad. The things you do because of him.

“Sounds like a plan.” You repeat, the meaning of the words only sinking in once the guys are getting up and heading to the counter, searching their respective pockets for wallets to pay the dinner with.

“Go have fun, Y/n!” Wheein encourages you. She knows you don’t go out to party that often but there’s probably another reason why she’s so fervent about it. That reason being the boy that’s now heartily laughing at something Taehyung has said.

“I guess I owe you one, Wheeinie.” You say as you hug your girl friend tightly. “Get home safe and text me if Hyejin survived.”

“Don’t mention it. But I want updates about you and your prince charming!” the mischievous look coming back to her face.

Before you can retort to her request, the three boys are gesturing for you to hurry up. “Y/n, let’s go!” Taehyung shouts across the pub.

His loud voice makes a few people lift their heads, most of them just waving their goodbyes to you four.

Right as you smile and thank the waitress after getting back your card from her, you hear that high-pitched voice again.

“Jimin! Are you leaving?” Of course it’s Nayeon.

At that, Taehyung turns his back towards the pub and starts pushing Jimin out through the glass door, as if in panic. Woosik tags along and seen you don’t want to spare that girl a single look more, you bow to the waitress one last time and follow the three of them onto the stairs and down. The chilly air hits you right when you step out of the door and you hurriedly put on your scarf, a shiver running down your spine nevertheless. The things you would do to have Wheein’s chunky scarf right now.

The narrow street was completely empty except for the four of you and one older guy leaning against a building a few meters away, cigarette smoke leaving his mouth as he spares your group one look before minding his own business again.

You were never scared of the night but having three friends next to you made you feel very safe. Myeongdong may be a relatively small and safe district, but these alleyways are scary anywhere.

“Do you guys know any good spots around here?” You remember that no one mentioned where you were headed for the second round of drinks.

“Don’t worry, miss, I know of a lovely place around Jongno.” Taehyung says in a lively tone. “It’s called XX. A brilliant name for a bar, don’t you think?” He then stumbles a few steps forward, apparently more drunk than you thought.

“He’s just saying that because he has the fattest crush on the bartender there.” Woosik scoffs with a laugh. “It’s a nice place though. Not too loud and it has a nice ambience.”

Jimin then speaks up, way more sober than the two boys who are leading the way. “I’m gonna have to trust you on that too. You’re finally showing me the place, Tae.”

You then watch a scene of the two of them bickering about Jimin not making enough time for Taehyung so that he could show him the bar and the bartender lady he likes so much unfold in front of your eyes. It feels like you traveled three years in time, back to your teenage years, except you’re tipsy and out after midnight in the city center. Woosik is laughing at the two friends’ antics and you join in.

Joking around with them like this makes you relax even when you’re still trembling from the cold when the wind gets under your jacket. The nervousness you felt during the evening when you were around Jimin long forgotten.

The streets of Myeongdong are now almost empty compared to the amount of people you saw earlier that night. You exit the district, cross Euljiro where at this time of the day are only taxis waiting for their drunk customers and lastly you cross a bridge over Cheonggyecheon where you stop your steps, even though the wind is stronger here.

The way the trough of the stream is decorated with Christmas themed lanterns and various lights is mesmerizing to say the least. You marvel at the delicate snowflake-shaped lanterns that hang above the water surface as if they were falling.

Only when Taehyung calls out your name, you realize that the three boys kept walking while you stayed behind, bewitched by the beauty of your surroundings.

“It’s so pretty!” You shout back at them, your voice louder than usual thanks to all the soju in your system. Stretching out your arms, you point at the lanterns and wave at the three of them to come and take a look at the decorated stream too.

Taehyung wobblingly rushes back first, almost bumping into you as he leans against the bridge right next to you. Jimin follows right behind, circling around you and leaning against the railing from your other side.

“Waah, it looks like we’re in a fairytale!” The curly boy marvels at the sight of the illuminated water stream. “We should take a picture! Let’s take a picture!”

Woosik then joins you in slow strides. “You’re impossible. First you rush to see the bartender and now we’re taking pictures. Fine.” A sigh escapes his mouth, but he still stretches out his arm as a sign for Taehyung to give him his phone.

Before you or Jimin have a chance to protest against the idea, Woosik is taking a few steps back with Taehyung’s phone pointed in your direction.

“One, two… Jimin, what’s with that stiff smile. At least stick a bit closer to each other, it looks like a very bad family picture right now.” Woosik comments while switching his attention from the screen to you three.

Taehyung does as he’s told, squishes closer against your body but retorts to Woosik’s comment feigning annoyance. “Since when were you so passionate about photography?”

Jimin leans closer against you too. The one with a stiff smile is now probably yourself. When was the last time someone’s bare proximity made you this flustered? The speed of your racing heart only amplifies when Jimin’s arm slips around your waist. He’s suddenly so close that you catch a whiff of his perfume, only making you dizzier.

“Okay, whatever. My fingers are gonna freeze off.” Woosik’s voice brings you back to reality. “One, two, three, kimchi!”

It took you a few seconds to register, but you burst out laughing at his cheesy way of telling you to smile. “Who even says that anymore?”

You feel Jimin’s hold on you tighten as he can’t hold his laughter either. You remembered it was a habit of his to fall onto the thing closest to him when he was laughing, but actually being the object in question is very endearing.

“You’re so cute when you’re drunk, Woosik.” Jimin manages to get out as his body shakes with laughter.

“Hmph.” Woosik huffs. “Let’s go Tae.”

Your heart does a flip when the boy holding you looks you in the eyes, his own still resembling two crescent moons. “Let’s hurry, you must be cold.” He says, head motioning to Woosik and Taehyung who took off already and his arm letting go of your waist.

The reply you manage to give him is a simple nod, afraid your voice would give away the state he put you in.

“Here.” Jimin offers. You look down to his extended arm, only to spot a pair of gloves in his hand. “They’re really warm, put them on.”

What is he so kind for, you internally scream. “Ah, thank you.” You say as you accept the garment from him with a smile. “Won’t you be cold though?”

“I’ll be fine. Or you can always hold my hand and share some of the warmth.”

It takes you a while to process what he just said but when you do, your eyes widen and you feel heat rising to your cheeks.

“Come on, let’s go or we’re gonna lose them.” Jimin grins and begins walking in the same direction as your two other friends.

Was he always this flirty or is that the soju he downed speaking? Anyhow, it made you feel all giddy because you’ve never before witnessed him acting like this. Not that you ever had a chance to see him tipsy since you weren’t allowed to drink yet back then.

As you catch up with the two that are leading your way, you’re tempted to really hold Jimin’s hand like he told you to, but the liquid courage doesn’t come that easy to you. Jimin never said he was joking, yet you can’t seem to shake the thought that he’s just very kind and would give up his gloves for any of his friends.

With Jimin occasionally sending a smile your way, the four of you made your way to the bar. A small neon sign above the entrance spells “XX”, purple light from it and from the lights along the stairs that lead you below the ground level illuminating your steps.

If it wasn’t for Taehyung leading the way, you’d think it’s some sketchy club. Your opinion immediately changes once you set foot on a soft red carpet that covers the dark wooden floor. A few guests are sitting in leather armchairs that are placed around delicate looking tables, soft warm light coming from little lamps illuminates the space and Christmassy jazz music plays in the background. Though the whole room is a sight to behold, the wall of liquor bottles behind the long bar counter steals the spotlight.

Behind the counter you see a woman, maybe in her late twenties, hair tied neatly in a low bun, her bangs making her look elegant but youthful at the same time. By the frozen reaction of Taehyung, it’s most likely the bartender Woosik mentioned earlier on.

She’s very attractive, wearing a black shirt tucked neatly into her trousers but slightly unbuttoned at the neck and a golden name tag pinned on her chest. If it wasn’t for your crush on Jimin occupying most of your mind, you’d probably girl crush on her big time.

You follow Taehyung who takes a seat on one of the bar stools, closer to the bartender than at a table but still far from where she’s standing. The stools are more comfortable than they look, and you feel more tense about Jimin’s proximity than about your feet barely reaching the footrest.

“Good evening, what can I get for you?” the bartender asks, looking at you.

“Uhm…” it was your first time in a western-style bar like this and all of the bottles on display right in front of your eyes made it look intimidating. “Would you recommend me something?”

Dreading her reaction, you were pleasantly surprised to see a warm smile spreading on her lips. “Would you prefer something sweeter or something that’s more on the bitter side?”

After a moment of hesitation, you answered. “Sweet, please.”

“I’ll think of something for you, then.” She reassures you and you notice the shiny name tag on her shirt spells Hani. “And for you, gentlemen?”

As she turns to them, you see Taehyung rub his hands on his legs, probably sweaty because of the nervous state he’s in.

“I’ll have an Old Fashioned.” Jimin orders with assurance and Woosik follows by ordering a simple Cuba Libre. When it’s Taehyung’s turn to choose a drink, a silence spreads across the counter.

“Should I bring you the usual?” Hani proposes after a while.

At that, the curly boy nods and answers with a quiet “Yes, please.”

The bartender nods as well and proceeds to prepare the drinks. No sooner than she turns around, Woosik starts teasing the other boy about their brief but awkward interaction. You too were surprised that the always loud and outgoing boy became so timid in front of the bartender, but your thoughts are dispersed soon.

“Noona!” You hear a voice that seems somehow very familiar but Jimin’s expression shifts into a dubious one at the sound of it. Once you peer in the direction it came from, you’re met with a beaming face of your hoobae from your English class.

“Ah! What a coincidence.” The boy leans on the empty bar stool where you set your purse and Jimin’s gloves. “You’re not here with anyone?” It was out of his character to be out at a bar like this. Or at least out of the character he presented himself with at school.

Jimin’s attention is now on you, and it could be just your dizzy consciousness messing with you, but you swear you feel him move closer to you, his scent stronger than a while ago.

“Here’s the Old Fashioned, and a Soul Kiss for you.” Hani slides the drinks in front of you in a graceful manner. “I hope the drink suits your taste.”

You nod and thank the bartender.

“I’m here with Lisa, noona.” He says in a hushed voice as soon as Hani moves closer to the other two boys..

Your eyes widen at his words. “You finally asked her out!”

The younger boy’s cheeks turn to a pale peachy color, unable to hide his shyness at your statement. “Sort of… I’m working on it.” He then replies, fidgeting with the hem of his sky-blue shirt that fits him like a glove. The tension that momentarily formed between Jimin and the younger boy disappearing at once.

“I told you she has a thing for you.” You playfully poke at his shoulder. “Ah, right! I haven’t introduced you two. Jimin, this is Jungkook, my hoobae.” When you turn your head in Jimin’s direction, he’s closer than expected but you try to keep your cool. You don’t bother introducing him to the other two, because there seems to be no end to their bickers.

“Nice to meet you, Jimin-ssi.” A smile blooms on Jungkook’s face, showing his bunny teeth. “Are you noona’s boyfriend?”

The younger one’s bluntness almost makes you choke on the sip of alcohol you just took, blocking any words from coming out of your mouth to reply to his curious eyes. Jimin does the job for you though, all while leaning even closer to you so that Jungkook hears him better.

“Unfortunately, I’m not. We went to high school together.”

His statement makes your heart sprint. Did he really just say that?

Jungkook’s eyes grow in size, a mischievous grin making its way on his delicate features. “It’s great keeping in touch with old friends, right?”

“It would be a shame to lose precious friends just because you don’t go to school with them anymore.” Jimin adds.

“Of course!” The standing boy nods but stills shortly after. “Ah! Lisa’s back, can’t leave her waiting.” His playful attitude now slightly stiffer. “It was nice meeting you, Jimin-ssi. See you in class, noona.” The suggestive eyebrow wiggle he manages to send without Jimin noticing makes you clench your fist.

“Yah!” You chide not so subtly.

Jimin truly didn’t notice Jungkook’s grimace because he’s looking at you with confusion written all over his face. “Why scold him, he seems like a nice kid.”

“He’s nice, but…” You honestly didn’t have anything to defend yourself with.

“But?”

“He likes to tease everyone. Including those older than him.” You reply after giving it a bit more thought. “Except for Lisa, the girl sitting opposite to him. He becomes putty in her hands.” You motion to the pair with your head.

“Seems like someone we both know.” Jimin adds as he looks over to Taehyung.

You can’t help but giggle. Taehyung was like a different person in the presence of Hani. But who are you fooling, Jimin has a similar effect on you too.

“I guess you don’t go to bars that often.” Jimin asks and sips on his drink, a pleased smirk forming on his face after placing the glass back down.

“I don’t even go out that often to begin with…” Your words drift off.

“Really? You don’t seem that fazed by the amount of soju we had at the pub earlier.”

“I’ve always had a pretty good tolerance.” You take a sip of the orangey liquid in your glass. Your higher tolerance of alcohol was something you weren’t too fond of though. It made it harder to lose some inhibitions like other people. The liquid courage was never something you could achieve with an acceptable number of shots and getting wasted to the point of not remembering what you were doing was never your thing. “I hope it’s not limited only to Korean drinks though.”

“I guess we’ll see.” Jimin chuckles at your statement.

“How’s the kiss?”

“What?” Your eyes shoot up in his direction.

“The drink.”

“Ah.” An obvious blush spreads across your cheeks. “Yeah… It’s- It’s sweet. I like it.”

“Do you wanna try mine? It’s a little bitter though.” He offers.

“Sure.” You don’t think you’re going to exactly enjoy his drink of choice but you’re too curious as to what Jimin’s taste is to not have a sip.

He slides the low glass closer to your hand and you pick it up, briefly examining the contents’ color. Your face scrunches into a grimace as the liquid hits your taste buds.

“So bitter!” You let out after putting the glass back down on the counter.

Even though the sip you just took wasn’t a pleasant experience, Jimin’s reaction definitely is. Supporting himself by his hands on the counter, he’s falling over with laughter.

“You’re really cute, you know that?”

Jimin, you’re really blunt when you’ve had something to drink, you know that? You answered in your mind with a question.

“You expressed the taste so well with your face.” He’s still laughing.

“Why do you drink it, then?” You ask with a pout, stealing glances at his laughing form.

“I like this kind of taste.”

The silver haired boy proceeds to swipe his hair back, only for it to fall into its former place. You also don’t fail to notice the short swipe of his tongue over his lips. It suddenly makes you wonder what kissing him would taste like. Like the bitter drink he sips on? Or would the sweetness of your cocktail overpower it? You try to imagine the taste but there’s not one good comparison you can think of.

“Y/n,” Jimin starts after a short silence due to your mind wandering off. “Do you want to know the reason why the girl we barely avoided earlier disliked you? But if you don’t feel like talking about it, we don’t ha-”

That definitely woke you up from your thoughts, not even giving you the opportunity to blush. “I don’t really mind… But you seemed quite bothered by it in the pub. Why bring it up?”

“Well… It has to do with you after all.”

“I don’t-“

“Back in eleventh grade, Nayeon overheard one conversation she wasn’t supposed to hear, hell, nobody was supposed to hear.” Jimin visibly shifts in his seat, gripping the glass in front of him a bit tighter. “I told Taehyung something that I’m a little scared to say to you even now.”

“Did I do something wrong?” Your worried look easing his unnerved figure slightly, shaking his head.

“No, no. It’s not you. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Jimin lets out a huff. “It’s me. I was being careless.” He pauses for a moment, eyes lingering on yours until you evade his gaze. “I told Taehyung that I like you. And she overheard it. So… It’s my fault she was so hostile towards you. I’m sorry.”

The words ‘I like you’ ring in your head, almost muting what he said afterwards. You stay frozen, your heart about to give out from the speed it’s beating at.

“Jimin… I-”

“I’m really sorry, I tried to talk to her, but she wouldn’t listen to anything I was saying.”

“Do you mean that?” you take a quick sip from your glass, praying the liquid would give you the courage you need.

“Yeah, I’m really sorry.” Jimin’s eyes drop down.

“No, wait, why weren’t those words in the past tense?”

“What do you mean?”

“Jimin, do you… do you like me?” You gather your courage.

“I- I…” He stutters before nodding. “Yeah, I like you.”

“Jimin…” you place your hand over his that is clutching his drink with too much force. He tenses at the contact but eases his grip soon enough. “Why did you never tell me?”

After a silence that followed your question, you can’t help but continue, the alcohol taking control of your voice. “I guess for the same reason I never told you…”

“Huh?” A confused murmur escapes his mouth.

“I had a huge crush on you during high school.” You sheepishly admit, your hands letting go of his and retreating closer to your body. “But I was never bold enough to tell you and you were out of my league. Being friends with you was more than enough for me.”

Jimin sips on the drink he was clutching so hard just a while ago and hums. “That means you don’t feel the same way anymore. It’s understandable, I’m the foolish one here when it’s been three years since we last spoke.”

There’s a sadness that spreads on his features even though the corners of his lips curl slightly up.

“I was convinced about it until a few hours ago.” You confess. “But now I feel like I’m seventeen again.”

“Jimin,” a voice interrupts you before Jimin manages to reply. It’s Woosik. He’s on his feet already, supporting wobbly Taehyung as the gets up from the bar stool. “We’re gonna get going. Tae’s had enough. Are you coming with us?”

He pauses after examining the situation he intervened in some more because of the silence that spreads around you. Both you and Jimin are looking elsewhere, his hands fiddling with his drink and yours clenched tightly in your lap. “Did I interrupt something here?”

The boy sitting next to you replies. “I’ll stay some more. We still have a lot to talk about with Y/n, isn’t that right?”

You nod and shift your focus on the two standing boys. They don’t seem to be too concerned about you and Jimin, focusing on standing straight and not forgetting any of their belongings.

“Get home safe, you guys.”

“You always end up so drunk, Taehyung. You’re unbelievable.” Jimin says but pats his friend on the shoulder.

Woosik only snorts. “Why is it always me taking him home?”

“Maybe because he’s always willing to pay for the cab and you live in the building next to his place?” Jimin retorts playfully.

“I hate you.” Is the only thing Woosik says goodbye with before heading to the staircase leading out.

“Love you too.”

Woosik butting in ended up lifting up the awkward tension between you two because you let out an unrestrained laugh, Jimin soon joining in.

“You guys really haven’t changed one bit.”

“You neither.” Jimin leans his chin against his hand, all while studying you with his eyes. “Only your hair got longer, and you’re not wearing a school uniform.”

“Oh? That’s all?” You pout.

“And you got even prettier.” He grins.

The instinct to hide your face behind your palms kicks in at once but Jimin is faster to get a hold of your hand, lightly holding it and kneading circles into it with his thumb. The soft gesture causes you to almost melt under his touch, biting on your lip.

“We may as well be the biggest fools on Earth, Jimin.” Your hand in his hold shifts so that you can intertwine your fingers with his.

“I know… Now I feel really bad, I’m sorry.” Jimin apologizes again but tightens his grip on your hand.

“Okay, no more saying sorry tonight. We can’t do anything about the past anyways.”

“Does that mean that you want to do something about the present?” A flirty smile returns to his face.

“I mean… Only if you want to.” Where did your confidence from a while ago disappear to, you’ll never know.

“I sure do.”

You look at each other for a while without saying a word but start giggling when the silence becomes too much.

“I can’t believe this.” You glance at your intertwined fingers, then at the boy’s brown eyes, taking in the tender look he’s giving you. “Doesn’t stuff like this happen only in movies?”

“Hmm, I’d say we’re living proof it happens in reality too.”

“Was the drink to your liking?” Hani inquires when she notices your glass is empty.

“Oh, yes, it was delicious. Thank you.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” After collecting the emptied glass, the bartender turns to Jimin with a softer look occupying her face. “Is the man that walked out leaning on his friend’s shoulder okay? He seemed very drunk…” Her words drift off.

“Ah, you mean Taehyung? He’s going to survive. You don’t have to worry about him too much.” Jimin answers a little startled.

“Taehyung…” Hani repeats after him, collecting the glass in front of him as well.

“Should I pass him your number?”

The bartender’s eyes shoot open at his suggestion. “I shouldn’t be doing this during my work hours…” After hesitating for a short while though, she swiftly takes out a business card out of her shirt pocket and slips it close to Jimin. He only winks at her and hides the paper in his back pocket. Hani then dashes off to busy herself with work, cheeks slightly flushed.

“Wow, are we really not in a movie? Do you think she likes Tae?” You say, after letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“I’d say it’s clear as day.”

“Cupid must be busy tonight.” You let a sigh escape when you spot your hoobae in the back of the bar and motion his way by lifting your chin.

Lisa is leaning against him, sitting side by side in a small sofa looking extremely comfortable. Jungkook’s arm is holding her shoulder, pressing her body tighter to his, a humongous grin plastered on both of their faces.

“One would think you’re jealous, Y/n!” Jimin teases.

You can’t help but pout at his accusation. “I’m just surprised by this outburst of luck and love from the universe.”

“Well, it’s Christmas soon.”

“Do you believe in Christmas miracles?” you ask Jimin.

“I think I might from now on.”

“Cheesy!” You punch his arm lightly.

“Yes, yes.” Jimin’s resigned reply makes you both giggle. “Should we get going too? Leave those two a little privacy.”

You snort at his words. “I’ll probably hear about it all from Jungkook the next time I see him anyways. But I feel like my wallet can’t take many more of these drinks. Let’s go.”

The night air is crisp but there’s some humidity that makes it feel colder than it actually is. A pout is slowly dissolving below your scarf as Jimin intently insisted that he was going to pay for your drink as well. Because he made you stay out longer and dragged you along to Taehyung’s bar of choice. You squeeze the pair of gloves he lent you earlier and burry your chin even more into the scarf that Jimin helped wrapping around your neck.

“You must be cold.” Jimin’s neck is pretty much exposed to the freezing air but he still shakes his head in denial.

“I’m good.” He then reaches out for your hand and your palms mold into each other as if it was the most natural thing. “Do you want to see the lanterns some more? You looked bewitched by it on the way here.”

“It was so pretty! Can’t blame me.” You hope the scarf around your shoulders and the darkness make the blush on your cheeks less visible but then you stop, making him turn around and face you. “Wait, Jimin, is that it? Are you trying to find excuses not to go home yet?”

“Is it that obvious?” Jimin fakes a laugh.

“Well, I want to spend more time with you too.” His eyes widen for a little bit as a current of wind ruffles his hair but then he smiles again. “Let’s go, before you freeze to death.”

“I’m not cold, Y/n!”

“Yes, yes.”

It was how comfortable he made you feel, joke around with you, yet still making your heart flutter. Just that. No other guy was able to evoke that kind of feeling in you. Just by walking next to you, holding your hand, softly bumping into each other’s shoulders on your tipsy feet.

The wind is playing with his silver hair, sometimes revealing a little more of his forehead and you almost forget to look where you’re walking as your eyes are engrossed in studying his features. The lanterns hung above the stream are of no big interest to you, mind occupied by the man next to you.

“Isn’t it too cold here?” Jimin asks, concerned.

You walked down to the path that is directly next to the icy water to see the scenery from a different perspective but failed to consider that. Water really made the air colder.

“We can just walk closer to each other.”

Jimin then guides your hand that he’s holding into the pocket of his coat but doesn’t let go. “I’ve always wanted to do this.”

“Do what? Walk next to Cheonggyecheon at two in the morning in freezing weather?” You tease.

“This.” He says as he gives your hand a gentle squeeze. “Give me your other hand.” Jimin requests and halts his steps. You comply right away, stuffing his gloves you’ve been holding into his still empty pocket along with both of your intertwined hands, leaving you standing face to face.

“It’s so warm.” You purr as his body heat reaches your skin. “But your neck still looks very cold.”

“It’s not like I will freeze when my pockets are this warm.” He defends himself with a smug smile.

Obviously not enough to convince you, before thinking twice, you close the distance between your bodies and lay your chin on his shoulder. You catch a whiff of his scent and the intimacy of standing so close to Jimin makes you melt against him.

Just then something cold lands on your nose.

“Y/n! It’s snowing!” Jimin lets out, excitement in his voice.

White fluffy snowflakes slowly fall all around you and fill the night sky. Everything seems quiet, as if the time has stopped, but the snow continues to fall, disappearing once hitting the ground.

“You know what they say about the first snow.” Jimin speaks up again. “If you’re together with someone during the first snowfall...”

He pulls away slightly, leaving your hands in his pockets and cups your face with his warm hands. You notice a few snowflakes get stuck in his hair, but they melt too soon for you to brush them away.

“You will stay together for a long time.”

“Hmm, I want to believe that.” You say, hands tightening in fists in Jimin’s pockets when you feel him pull you closer.

“Me too.” He almost whispers before his lips find yours, hasty at first, only slowing down when your arms encircle his waist.

You were right. No drink a bartender can mix can possibly come close to this. The keen movement of his lips still manages to be soft, sending shivers down your spine as he tucks a strand of loose hair behind your ear. Why drink alcohol when there’s something as addictive as this.

It seems you’re not the only one thinking that. No sooner than you pull away to catch your ragged breath, Jimin’s lips crash onto yours once more, this time in a more fervent manner, as if you’d disappear if he stopped.

You have an urge to pinch yourself just to make sure this is not a dream but the cold reassures you it’s not. Snow is still falling onto you both, lanterns swaying above your heads, but the only thing you can focus on is the man kissing your lips and his arms wrapped around you.

“Jimin-” You let out when he breaks the kiss, only to stare deep into your orbs and hum as a sign for you to continue. “I like you a lot.”

Jimin can’t contain the smile that overtakes his face, leaning his forehead against yours.

“You don’t even know how happy that makes me… Because I like you a lot too.”

“I know.” You plant a peck on his freezing nose and barely escape his counterattack.

You must look like a pair of fools, giggling and chasing each other in the middle of such a cold night, trying to steal kisses from one other, but you couldn’t care less.

As long as you’re with Jimin.

Epilogue:

Beagles 00:24 am

Whee: You should have seen Nayeon after you guys left hahaha

Whee: She made a ruckus that she couldn’t even talk to Jimin when she was ogling Dowoon the whole time

Hyejinie: Gets on my nervres so mu

Beagles 00:26 am

Whee: Hyejin dropped her phone lol

Whee: Hope you’re doing better than this wasted missy, Y/n

Beagles 01:03 am

Whee: Just got home

Whee: You should see Hyejin hahahahh

Whee: …

Whee: I really hope that you not replying is a good sign and you’re not passed out somewhere

Whee: I trust you Y/n!

Beagles 11:01 am

You: Should I start believing in Christmas miracles too?

#jimin fanfic #bts fanfic #jimin fluff #bts fluff #jimin x reader #jimin oneshot #jimin x yn #bts christmas fic #mine #writing #내 꺼 #OKAY SO I.. this is my first //finished// attempt at a fic #please don't be mean🥺 but then constructive criticism is welcome😊#silver haired jimin is one of my weaknesses and if he's not yours yet then brace yourself #in other words this is just sappy christmas fluff with me missing seoul a whole lot #can't believe it's been exactly 2 years since I came back home ;;#there's also a reference to XX - a web drama #and before you kill me I know woosik isn't even close to being a 95 liner but he just fit there okay #I hope you enjoy and get some fluffy christmas vibes from this🥰💕

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zhansww · 4 years ago

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I’ve been wondering how exactly the misunderstanding of my last rambling post came to be and I think it’s cuz of one of two things; cuz I didn’t make it clear what I consider the word “queer” to mean or cuz I didn’t make it clear that the post itself was my own, subjective opinion. I’m not sure how consistent I’ve been with tagging it but I kinda differentiate between (what I think are) rational opinions I have vs emotional ones. The latter ones are obviously subjective and should not be taken as me, lecturing anyone or implying that everyone should feel the same. You either share the same sentiment or you don’t, there’s nothing wrong with it either way. And if my words in those posts seem hostile/condescending, it’s cuz I don’t feel the need to censor any of my subjective views/feelings. What I do think is important and what I try to pay attention to is not to let the negative emotions that certain things evoke in me control my actions. When I see something that I disapprove of in any way, I don’t hijack that post or report it. If my emotional reaction is particular strong, I’ll vent about it in my own post, not theirs. I considered this to be the decent thing to do but I’ve been told by at least one kind, respectful and open-minded person that I am actively making people’s lives worse with those posts, that my words are violent and that my behavior is that of an “unhinged monster” (the irony here is not lost on me). So I’ve been reflecting and I think the next time I feel a particular strong, negative emotion that makes me want to vent, I’ll put a disclaimer beforehand. And now, let me just actually clarify what my point was of that post. I believe that yz is real so I obviously do not assume they are straight. If they are indeed together, then they are queer - i.e. not straight - but that’s literally it. I have no theories or thoughts about what their specific orientation might be and I won’t ever speculate about that either. I wouldn’t mind knowing but unfortunately, they can’t be openly together right now but when they someday are, they’ll hopefully also feel safe and loved enough to share something like that with us. I know for a fact that figuring out your sexuality is a confusing and intimate process which is why I am opposed to speculating about it. I consider it to be too intrusive. But again; that is my subjective opinion based on my own experiences. I do not expect everyone to share this sentiment. One person said that I should expect such speculation and that might be true, maybe I should expect it but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. Seeing certain bxg get mad at solos for assuming yz are straight but then turn around and assume they are [insert any specific sexuality except het] is hypocritical and disappointing in my opinion. I think it’s perfectly fine to have such emotional opinions as long as you don’t let those emotions cloud your judgement and lead to you, reacting in a way that is unreasonable and possibly harmful. I also think that everyone should be willing to have their rational opinions questioned but when it comes to an emotional opinion, it doesn’t have to make sense and it’s probably not gonna change either. To give another example; I hk disapprove of yz r/p/f. And that’s not me, saying it is inherently wrong and that no one should do it. In fact, you could try to make a case about how I should like it and approve of it but it wouldn’t make me change my mind precisely because this opinion is not based on logic but just on emotion. And again, as long my emotional reaction to something doesn’t lead to unreasonable actions, then the emotion itself is alright to have. And like I already said, I thought it was okay to vent those emotions in my safe space but apparently, it isn’t. No one should take those posts personally or like I’m talking to them or lecturing them. I thought that this was all obvious but since I got told otherwise, I will be more concise from now on.

You know, when someone starts a “discussion” by insulting you (implicitly or not), that’s usually a clear sign that they’re not even trying to understand you. I’ve seen at least one person reblog the reblogs and seemingly take some kind of vicious pleasure in seeing someone else sh-t on me. Something like that leads me to think that they already had a negative impression of me to begin with which is why their minds gladly misunderstood me and jumped to the worst possible conclusion. They also all seemed to either ignore my explanations or seemed intent on misunderstanding me, no matter what. To be clear, I don’t blame them entirely for it because I could have expressed my point better but for them to immediately think their misunderstanding is the right one - instead of asking me to explain myself perhaps - is also wrong. Mind you, I don’t expect those people to see or care about this post. The main reason I’m trying to clarify myself is for myself. I said I’ll try to be more concise in expressing my views (regardless of whether it’s a subjective one or not) from now on and I thought I should let this be the start of that. There was one reply in particular that ... affected me a lot harder than I thought anything could. I think it’s cuz my depression already makes me feel like I’m a waste of space 24/7. One thing I take comfort in, though, is the fact that, at the very least, the only one who’s hurting because of it is me, no one else. At least I don’t hurt others. But I got told otherwise. I got called an unhinged monster. The unhinged part is true but also being a monster... it made me feel like I’m less than a waste of space. Like, let’s say if normal people always feel like a 1, I always feel like a 0. Getting insulted like that made me feel like a -1. Instead of feeling like a read newspaper, that’s just waiting to get thrown in the trash, that insult made me feel like I’m the asbestos in the house, something that is actively harmful and you need to get rid of. Does that make sense? Anyway... I engaged in “discussions” despite my better judgement and now, I have to pay the price for it so I also decided that I won’t do that again. Hopefully, there won’t even be any more misunderstandings but if there are and someone hijacks my posts and insults and/or willfully misunderstands me, I will just block them. For my own sanity. And for the record, if there’s something in this or any of my subjective/emotional posts that can be misunderstood, that I didn’t make clear enough; please feel free to ask me about it. Please don’t immediately think the worst of me. And when it comes to my more objective/rational opinions, I am always open for discussions as long as we can remain respectful throughout.

I would also like to express my gratitude to anyone who reached out. I’m not sure if the damage can be undone to be honest (it doesn’t feel like it right now) but anyone who offered words of advice, understanding, support or kindness helped soften it. I cannot express how grateful and appreciative I am for it all, any replies or private messages. You helped make me feel less shitty and I thank you so so much. I’m definitely gonna save all the mental health advice cuz I really did not know how to deal with that overwhelming desire to... stop existing in that moment and I want to keep it in mind if (or when) I get affected this badly by something again. I intend to also reply to the messages privately ofc but for now, please accept all of my love and gratitude~

I’m gonna put the rest - which is more personal - under a cut and also tw cuz I’ll elaborate on my mental health/depression. This isn’t exactly something I want to share tbh but I think I shouldn’t shy away from it either. And I feel like I need to explain myself, just for anyone who cares to know.

—

If you compare life to walking on a path, then I at some point - I don’t even remember when - stopped walking and starting digging a hole for myself. It musta been years ago. Right now, that hole is so deep that I have no idea how to get out of it on my own, much less how to move forward. I think I always knew that there must be something wrong with me mentally. This isn’t something that is being talked about in my family, though, so I never extensively thought about it. Not until earlier this year, when my sister told me that she thinks I’m sick and I should see a therapist. My immediate reaction was to reject the idea but I really couldn’t do that for long. As of right now, I have been tentatively diagnosed (not sure if that’s what you call it in English) with depression but I haven’t actually found a permanent therapist and therefore also not started therapy yet. I have no idea what exactly is wrong with me and this not-knowing makes it somehow worse. I haven’t been properly functioning for the past two days - ever since I got called unhinged monster - cuz those words are burned into my brain by now and keep repeating themselves. It feels like my mind was given another weapon to slowly k-ll me with. It keeps reminding me that that’s what I am and then I start trembling and my breathing gets weird and it’s harder than usual for me to distract myself. And this is all so overwhelming for me, I have truly no idea how to deal with any of it. I don’t even know if I named it right, if it really is called a “depressive episode”. I’m hoping I’ll get to find out what exactly is wrong with me and how I can cope with it once I find a therapist. My lack of knowledge regarding what I myself am going through makes it all very confusing and difficult. Another reason why I kind of organized my thoughts and wrote them all down here is cuz I hope it will help me somehow, make my mind stop letting those really bad thoughts in. But in that moment when I felt especially f-cked up, any words of advice or kindness helped. I hope everyone who reached out knows that. Just... thank you. So damn much.

#long post #personal #about me #depression tw #text

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earthlyemily · 4 years ago

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I’m struggling so much financially and honestly just wanted to vent somewhere. I’ve always lived in poverty and I think in my whole life I’ve had maybe 2 years where I didn’t have to stress about money and not be able to buy groceries or pay rent or be put into collections for not being able to make payments etc and that was when I was in college. For at least the past 5 years I’ve been struggling but I never talk about it. I don’t even know where to start haha I don’t even know what it’s like to not stress financially and be in debt. I’ll just start with the first things that come to mind with what I’m owing maybe. So it’s Dec. 23 and rent was due yesterday because we moved into this small suite attached to someone’s house on Nov. 22. It’s $1200 which is so expensive, but also the average price for BC if not even cheaper for a one-bedroom with a yard, utilities included. and no first and last, no pet deposits, etc because this is just short them for 4 months until the end of March because i reached out and asked and they said yes.

After 1 month I already remember why we went into the trailer almost 2 years ago and it’s literally because we can’t afford any other lifestyle. I think that’s the difference between us and some people that live in trailers, vans, etc. like we lived in a mouse & mouse shit infested trailer for 6 months breathing in their feces and urine and having it all over all our belongings. i literally had to take my whole life to the dump and we officially have no food storage because they ruined it all. there were at least 50-60 mice because a few birth cycles happened in the ceiling. I could write a whole post about my experience of living with field mice, but now isn’t the time so for rent, i only had $600 yesterday so that’s what I gave them. thank goodness they were okay with me asking for a few more days to make the other half. but I don’t even know when that’s going to be :(

my etsy shop veganveins has been doing so bad lately for more than one reason, most of my orders are just postcards and stickers, and while I’m grateful for them, that $1-3 profit isn’t going to keep my business going. and it’s so hard for me to work lately. the wifi doesn’t work sometimes for hours and I always get distracted by shawn and the dogs working from home in a small space. I need to get better at my time management. I got up at 8:30 today which is actually early for me so I’m proud of myself. I’m chronically ill and I really need to go get a blood test and see what’s happening because I haven’t gotten one since being diagnosed with graves disease again 1.5 years ago. anyways. i switched to a print on demand method this year for veganveins for some shirts and sweaters because i couldn’t afford to keep ordering shirts in bulk, and it’s honestly been so, so expensive and i barely make any profit. I’m currently owing my t-shirt printer $999 on one invoice (it was originally $2196 so I’ve at least paid half of it) but that was 2 weeks ago and I still need to pay it. Mario, my t-shirt printer has been with me since I started veganveins and I’m so grateful he gives me extensions on paying the invoices. every other t-shirt printer I’ve ever asked has said no. in addition to the $999 there’s going to be another $2200 invoice I’ll be receiving this week for my last order. I think because of the holidays he’s going to give me some time to pay off that too, but the problem is when I have outstanding invoices he doesn’t print new orders for me. He’s closed now until Jan. 4 so I just need to somehow make that much before then.

btw I don’t have a credit card ($8500 all used on veganveins and it got put into collections last march) and I had a fully used $5000 line of credit but I got a debt consolidation loan for $16,000 1 month ago and my payment for that is $167 a month. it fully paid off and closed my credit card and line of credit + $3000 overdraft which is nice. but now I don’t have any extra money except for what comes in. my credit is only 640 which is really bad in canada so I won’t get approved for a new credit card or loan until I build that up, which is going to be a few months of regular payments. so for regular payments, the $167 for the loan is due on Dec. 27. Yesterday the trailer loan which is literally unliveable from what the mice did until we renovate it came out for $260, that’s how much I pay once a month for it on the 22nd. I didn’t have $260 in my account so it got rejected and I got charged a $48 NSF fee. omg if anyone is reading this long i’m shook. i’m genuinely just writing this for myself to process my feelings and in case anyone was curious about my financial situation here you go haha. maybe some of you can relate, maybe some can’t. anyways. so now I somehow have to get $260 in my account for that for when they try to take it out again in the next few days.

another payment that was supposed to come out yesterday but hasn’t, but I’m sure will come out today is our truck loan. they deferred it for 8 months because of covid which was so nice, but we started paying it again 2 months ago. for both those months I called and made my payment a later date and that helped, but there’s barely any service here so when I called 4 times yesterday to try and change the date the payment comes out, I was on hold for 20-30 mins then my phone would disconnect and hang up. so that’s $586 and it will come out today, I have $0.46 in my account right now so it will get rejected and I’ll get charged another $48 NSF fee. this is why being poor always costs more and the banks are always harsher on those who don’t have money. today I’ll try calling again to see if I can ask for it to come out on a different day like january 10 instead, so I can first have time to pay rent and the trailer and also our $190 truck insurance which got rejected from my account 3 days ago, which was another $48 NSF fee. oh and something else i’m so stressed about is CIBC is going to put me into collections on December 28 if I don’t pay $1000, $700 of which is purely their fees. I have a $300 overdraft which they said i have to cover by then and the $700 is literally their $48 fees added up over the past 3 months. I got a text from them today saying my account is over and it’s because an amnesty international $11 monthly donation came out and obvi there’s no money in there, so that’s another $48 they charged. they’ve already given me a month to pay it and don’t want to wait any longer :(

I owe everyone in my family money, my sister $1650, my mom $700 and my brother also lent me $700. none of my siblings have money either and my mom definitely doesn’t so I hate that i had to borrow that much, and it’s literally been months. thankfully they’re so patient but i can’t wait to not owe them that

omg and i can’t even think about the amount of money shawn’s grandma has lent us. she’s genuinely the only reason we haven’t been completely homeless. but it’s a lot. like i don’t even want to say the number on here. she let us use it from her line of credit over the years and we’ve been slowly paying her back, but she lets us go months at a time without making a payment which i honestly hate doing, but have no choice. i’ve felt a lot of shame and guilt about this, but I also know that she genuinely would rather help us than see us suffer.

so i’m gonna talk about a big reason I’m broke this month especially - saving a pig named buster. his rescue cost me $1850 out of pocket that I didn’t have. but otherwise he was going to be killed in 2 days, he was my baby and I loved him so I had to do it. I somehow made $1350 that went towards it but I’m still owing $500, which I just asked for an extension for today until the new year. i’m not really supposed to talk about it but everything I’ve ever posted here has stayed here, so that cost was literally just from me buying the pig off the farmer. myself along with everyone else ive talked to is disgusted that he charged that much, but he wasnt budging and if that’s what it was going to take, of course I’m going to do it. I wouldn’t think twice about doing it for my dogs and Buster was smarter and more affectionate than them. i love him and I’m so happy he was saved. a non-profit organization transported him to a sanctuary and it was my biggest wish come true and the happiest moment I’ve had all year. my eyes are literally tearing up haha i love him so much. i could write a whole post about his neglect but basically he hasn’t had fresh water in weeks, he was only being fed handfuls of mixed nuts, he was constantly dirty in a muddy enclosure with an electric fence that he was always getting shocked on. he never got true love or affection except for when I gave him it. i posted an instagram story about him and asked people to message me and that i needed help, 2 people donated $111 and $120 each, and 2 other people donated $15 and $12. Someone also e-transferred me $20. These 4 donations equaled almost $300 ($277) and I was so grateful for those people wanting to help me help buster. if anyone else wants to help me with the cost of his rescue i still do need help and would appreciate it so much. this feels really weird and vulnerable for me to do and i’m sorry if anyone is annoyed by this post, I just genuinely am struggling and figured if someone does have extra and wants to help, there isn’t harm in that. but i do feel guilty for asking because i know there are so many other people struggling out there that need even more help than i do :(

i haven’t talked about it publically but i guess I will now, this farmer that I bought buster off of is the owner of the organic vegetable farm i was living and working at this past spring and summer. we worked really hard all summer to be able to stay there and park for free in the winter, but this past fall he told us no one was allowed to stay at the farm anymore, including us, so we had to find a new place to bring our 14ft trailer in to live. so that was an unexpected bummer and if we had known we wouldn’t be allowed staying there anymore (despite doing the labour of $1200 a month for free harvesting organic kale, for an off-grid spot he told us was worth $350 a month to park) we wouldn’t have driven 8 hours with the trailer and we would have stayed in the snow in northern BC and sucked it up and lived on the land we got the opportunity to rent this fall. Donna, the woman who is renting the land to us has been the biggest blessing in my life this year. I love her so much. Basically, she’s letting us live on 170 acres for $600 a month. letting us do whatever we want on the land (building a cabin, setting up rainwater catchment systems, having a solar passive greenhouse and a huge garden) LIKE WHAT. we could even open a farm sanctuary if we had money, i wanted to so bad but obviously that dream didn’t even come close to being reality. opportunities like this literally don’t exist in canada, especially not in BC. i cant even process my gratitude, i cry everytime i think about it. when we go back in the spring it’s going to be the beginning of the rest of our life :) i want to rescue so many senior dogs. everything we’ve always wanted to do we’ll be able to do, assuming we have money haha. but i want to have an organic farm and grow veggies to donate to families in need, especially since we live on stolen indiginious land and I see how the goverment actively restricts their access to fresh healthy produce. but anyways by then it was too dangerous to drive 8 hours back hauling a trailer in the snow and it was just easier to stay in the okanagan until the spring. i know the farmer probably doesn’t realize this and he’s also probably struggling financially but not being able to stay at the farm for the winter months we worked for, and buying buster for that price is a big reason I’m in the financial stress I am now so I figured i’d talk about it.

anyways. i think this is long enough and i think anyone reading this gets the point, i’m drowning in debt, my small business is almost costing me more to run and i’m not making nearly enough profit to live, the past few months ive been living off grid (not by choice) and just focused literally on surviving and not freezing and getting water etc and not having service or internet has affected me negatively. there’s internet now in the suite I’m in, it works really good in the morning and not as well at night, like for example tumblr doesn’t work past 5 pm for me to post photos. but ive been in a bad sleep schedule since i got here that i need to change. im sick and i need to heal myself. tomorrow i’ll set my alarm for 7:30. hopefully i make some money today. i got a social media managing job and it will end up being $1000 a month once i do the 3+ hours a day of work which im already feeling like i barely have time for my own basic life tasks. but i can do this.

if anyone reading this wants to help me out a bit, my paypal email is [email protected] or http://www.paypal.com/paypalme/veganveins

and my e-transfer email is [email protected] i have auto deposit so you won’t have to ask a question :)

this is my first time in 7 years i’ve made a post like this or asked for help. i won’t do it again but figured i have nothing to lose. if you read up to here i love you a lot and thank you so much for being here <3

#personal #finances #broke #poor #vegan #small business owner #graves disease #saving animals #off grid #I wonder if anyone will even read this all #debt #life update lol #p

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avengerscompound · 5 years ago

Text

Running to a Standstill - 2

Running to a Standstill: A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x F!Reader

Word Count: 2342

Rating: E

Square filled: None for this chapter

Warnings: none

Synopsis: While on the run from an unknown organization trying to take your son, you meet two super-soldiers. While they try to help you get to the bottom of who is hunting you and your son, feelings come out and admissions are made that make your personal life even more tricky.

Chapter 2

Steve had expected to meet you out somewhere casual. He hadn’t really been thinking about this as a date-date. More a casual meeting to try and get to the bottom of what you were hiding from. He’d agreed to let Natasha and Clint organize the venue and convince you to meet him there because they knew you better. He’d been given the address and name of the restaurant and he’d dressed in his usual casual wear of a blue button-down and tan slacks and when he’d shown up, he suddenly felt very underdressed.

The restaurant was lined in hardwood, and decorated with pots of fresh herbs and copper cookware, giving it a rustic farm feel, but the floor to ceiling wine racks that took up three walls and the fact most of the guests were wearing suits or cocktail dresses said that it was anything but homey.

He arrived before you and was taken to a booth table under some wine barrels, that’s boxed seats were covered in cushions. He was just looking over the menu of items - some of which he’d never even heard of before and all had prices that made him glad for the 60 years of back pay the army had owed him - when you arrived. You were wearing a champagne cocktail dress with a gold lace overlay and around your shoulders you had a red wool shawl.

Steve stood and greeted you with a kiss on the cheek, waiting for you to sit before he did too. “You look beautiful,” he said. He realized that it probably sounded ingenuine - the kind of thing you just say to someone on a first date - but he meant it. He’d thought you were attractive the day he met you, even in the hoodie and jeans that were stained with grass and had a patch where it looked like either you or Geo had dropped ice cream. Tonight you looked stunning. The dress was flattering to your figure and you looked radiant with your hair and makeup done for a night out. Mostly he loved the way you smiled. You seemed excited to be out on this date with him, though a little nervous.

“Thank you,” you said. “I can’t even remember when I last went out on a date. I was surprised when Natasha said you were interested. So I wanted to make the effort. Who knows when I will get to again?”

“Hopefully it won’t be that long,” Steve said genuinely. Not exactly meaning that it would be him that took you out, but realizing that’s exactly how it sounded when you smiled and picked up your menu like you were trying to hide how excited you were.

Natasha and Clint had obviously made you think this was a real date and even though he hadn’t come here tonight thinking the same thing, he decided that he should treat it the same way. Besides, maybe Clint and Natasha knew something he didn’t and the two of you might be a good match. Maybe you’d be able to distract him from his crush on Bucky that was never going to go anywhere at the very least.

A waiter came over to take your drink orders and with a little discussion, the two of you decided to share a bottle of Merlot.

“So you haven’t been out with anyone for a long time?” Steve asked as he browsed the menu.

You shook your head and looked up at him over your menu. “Not since before Geo was born. I bet you date a lot.”

He shook his head. “You know,” he said. “I think this might be my first real one. I mean… don’t get me wrong, I’ve had relationships, but they always came out of my work and we never made it to the dating part.”

“Wow, no wonder you picked this,” you said. “Of course you’d want to make it special.”

“Oh,” he said. “This was Clint and Nat. I guess they’re playing match-maker.”

You laughed. “This is so not a Clint and Nat place.”

“No,” he chuckled. “Well, maybe Nat, but she’d be working an angle.”

You laughed and the waiter returned with the wine. He poured a small amount for Steve to try. He had no idea what made a wine good or not, so when it didn’t taste like vinegar Steve gave a small nod and the waiter topped off both glasses. He took both your orders. Steve went with a dish that had ham, mozzarella, and truffles, followed by a steak because at least he recognized what they were. You were a little more daring ordering spugnole as a starter, followed by tagliatelle.

“So why don’t you date?” You asked, taking a sip of the wine.

Steve let out a breath and shook his head. “Time mostly. Never had the time to actually date,” he explained. “But it’s not only that.”

You put your hand on his and smiled softly. “What else is it?”

“I’ll tell you what,” Steve said, giving your hand a small squeeze. “I’ll tell you my story and you tell me yours.”

You seemed to mull the question over for a moment. “I’m worried that if you know, that will attract their attention.”

“You know that doesn’t make any sense don’t you?” Steve reasoned.

“Maybe. But,” you said taking your hand away. “This is the longest we’ve ever managed to stay in the same place. I’m expecting them any moment and if you decide to try and find them, then they’ll know it’s because of him.”

“We can keep you safe. And Geo. It’s what we do,” he said.

You let out a breath. “You go first.”

The waiter came out with the starters and when he left again, Steve took a bite of ham and chewed it slowly, focusing on the smokey, salty taste.

“Are you avoiding?” You asked as you collected some mushrooms onto your fork.

“Maybe a little,” he said. “I guess there’s a lot of factors. I don’t know how much you know about my past but I wasn’t always this. I was small. Really small. And sick. I had a long list of medical issues. I was bullied a lot. No one really looked at me as a possible romantic partner. And I suppose I did go on dates back then, but they were double dates Bucky organized and there was always this supreme look of disappointment on the face of the woman he brought them to meet me. Like they expected me to look like him. I was a letdown. I think it affected me in a lot of ways. When women look at me now - like …’

“...They used to look at Bucky?” You suggested.

“Yeah,” he agreed. “That. Well, I can’t help but think about back then. And then I wonder if they like me for me. I need time to get to know people and that doesn’t work out in the real world. Only with people in mine and then work gets in the way. Plus…”

He stopped talking and considered if he had it in him to admit this last piece. The bit about how he had feelings for his best friend. He hadn’t admitted that to anyone. Not Bucky. Not Nat. Not even Sam. He had said he’d tell you his if you told you yours, and it was only fair to keep his side of the bargain if he wanted you to do the same.

“I have had a crush on Bucky for a very, very long time,” he said.

“Oh my god,” you said, dropping your jaw. “Does he know?”

“No,” he said quickly. “I didn’t want to make him feel awkward. He was always a real ladies man. And now… he’s healing and I doubt his sexuality has changed,” Steve explained. “And please know -” he reached over the table and touched your hand again. “I like women too. The relationships I’ve had have been with women. It’s just… you know?”

“No,” you said. “I mean, yes. I get it. It’s okay. I know how you feel.”

He let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. “So… it’s unrequited. But I think I do a lot of comparing people to him, which isn’t healthy. A couple of people have made the cut, but in the end, things weren’t meant to be. So maybe I’m not supposed to have that. Which I guess is another thing. I once had someone tell me that I was nothing if I couldn’t be a soldier. And I think it got to me. This here -” he gestured around him. “- is a level of normal that I don't often allow myself to have.”

You nodded and took a drink from your wine. Not a small one either. You swallowed the dark liquid like it was water and when the glass was drained you filled it again. “You didn't hold back did you?”

“I said I'd tell you mine if you told me yours,” Steve said.

You nodded and leaned back against the back of the booth. “Yes. I suppose you did,” you agreed. “It’s long.”

Steve shrugged. “For once, I have time.”

“When I went to college, I did lots of stupid little things for money. I sold blood. I tutored high school kids. Just any little thing to give me some money to cover my bills. One day the biology department had these posters up for an experiment. It paid a lot. You got $100 if you were accepted. And if you made it to the end they'd give you $7500. So I signed up. I figured that whatever they were doing was probably safe if it had gotten to the human trial stage,” you explained. Steve couldn't exactly criticize your reasoning. He'd signed up for some pretty extensive human experimentation himself.

“I was accepted and once a week I'd go in with a group of about thirty other people and we’d have some injections and then we’d be tested. It was a little odd. The injections were painful and the tests were strange. They'd ask us to try and reprogram a computer. Then try and guess what cards they were holding up. We’d go on a treadmill for a bit and lift some heavyweights. Then we'd be sent home,” you explained. “I made friends with most of the other people but I also met the man I'd end up marrying.”

You stopped talking when the waiter approached and cleared away your plates and didn't start again until he'd bought out the entrees. Steve waited patiently. He knew there was no point in rushing the story. “After about six weeks things started to happen. John, my husband was running much faster than should be possible. And I was guessing every single card correctly. It never lasted. By the following day we were back to normal, but every time we had an injection it was more. By the end of the experiment, I'd get those shots and be able to hear every single thought of every person in the building. Even the ones people don't want you to hear. The intrusive thoughts you don’t even want to be having. John could run at the speed of light.”

You drained your glass again and topped it off again and Steve leaned over and took your hand. “What happened?”

“Project got canceled and we were told we were free to go. We got paid our money,” you answered. “Only one day I heard… In my mind… These people… I think they were government agents, coming to take us. The injection hadn't completely worn off yet. I told John and he packed a backpack, scooped me up into his arms and we ran.

“It was fine for a while. We changed our identities. Got cash-in-hand work. No one came for us. Then I got pregnant and when Geo was born the equipment went haywire. When he cried it broke every machine on the floor cried along with him. They wanted to keep him there to be tested but we knew what would happen so we ran again. Only those people found us. They killed John. I got away. But I've been running ever since.”

“Do you know who they were?” Steve asked.

You shook your head. “I have no idea. They never thought of anything that linked them to an organization. Just things that made them seem like authority figures. Official. You know?”

Steve nodded. “I understand.”

“If they're official, like the CIA you can't help me,” you said with pain in your voice. “You're a private militia. You have no authority.”

“I see my role in this world as exactly the person who steps in when the government is mistreating its people,” Steve said. “I promise. We won't let anything happen to you or your son.”

You nodded and seemed to make yourself smaller. “I wish I could believe that.”

“You can trust me,” Steve said. When you didn't say anything Steve caressed the back of your hand with his thumb. “Do you know what Geo’s powers are?”

“I think they call it technopathy,” you explained. “He has an affinity with machines. Sometimes he can even communicate with them. It’s come in handy actually. I don't like using him like that but he can make ATMs give us money. Change car titles to our name in the system. Have our names changed. Erase record of us. In emergencies, it has helped us get away.”

“He would love meeting Tony,” Steve said. “Maybe the two of you should move to the tower for a while.”

You shook your head fervently, “No. No. Too high profile. I feel safe where I am. Clint and Nat keep it safe and it's just some apartment block. No one looks twice at it.”

Steve nodded and drained the last of his wine. There was a lot to process and a lot of work to do. He'd need to find out who was after you first and foremost. He just wished there was a way he could convince you the safest place you could be was under his watch.

// NEXT

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