#i have watched this only a healthy amount in the past week...

[dcxdpdabbles]

I love every fic That has Danny still being Phantom even while in the DC universe but sometimes I just want my little guy to flex his intellect and be all around little mad scientist that only sometimes uses his powers to pick up a screwdriver

Danny is smart.

He knows he is brilliant.

He may have been outshined by his family when he was younger, but that was because his focus was on something else, and frankly, being born last into a family of geniuses made one feel like one wasn't as intelligent as them.

He constantly compared himself to them, knowing that they had already achieved what he was doing and falling further and further behind in his self-wellow.

Then Danny left Amity Park and went into the real world.....he found his intelligence got him far. Danny was exceptionally brilliant when he was working on machinery, chemistry, and, above all else, engineering.

Maybe it had something to do with watching his parents repurpose any household item into a completely new technology that affected beings from different dimensions simply because they used math.

Or maybe it was that his brain was always moving, always connecting, and constantly processing. Danny didn't realize that people couldn't just make whatever idea came into their heads a reality.

Hell, his dad heard about Mr. Freeze's ray and he made a copy in two months. Danny made Mr. Freeze's ray in two weeks. He made other ghost tech in that same amount or enough to arm his schoolmates in one afternoon.

The point is that Danny is good at what he does. Put a screwdriver in huis hand, and he be off until whatever hair brain idea he had a physical form.

Everyone in Amity Park knew this as a fact about the Fentons/ Since they moved in, there was nothing but experiments one right after the other. Sure, they wasted it on things like Ecto-studies, but his parents made their money from somewhere before the world learned about ghosts.

Danny's parents had many, and he means many, patents. Everything from a brand of microwaves to vehicle parts.

His parents created them, sold them to partial rights to companies, and then wasted whatever money they got on some new experiment for a ghost that had not yielded any fortunes.

He thought he could do the same. Just apply to anywhere that would take him after creating a portable phone changer on one's wrist. He figured it would have gotten less attention than he did hadn't he just shown up at Wayne Expo as an unknown inventor through his parents contacts.

Danny had felt relatively small with his foldable plastic table and his four cardboard boxes of his invention while everyone had booths and screens, and a few even had prominent speakers with people in suits that cost more than his house

. Danny felt like a little kid trying to sell lemonade in the five-star hotel lobby. Everyone walked right by him without a glance, or they jeered and mocked him.

That was until Bruce Wayne wandered over. Kind and charming the man, maybe he wasn't the brightest- but he stood there listening to Danny excitedly explain how moving the hand on the bracelet caused it to charge, so walking around with it was all the kinetic energy it needed.

His ward- Dick Grayson, in all his tiny ten-year-old authority, had purchased a bracelet from Danny. It had been the only sale he made that night, but it was the only one he needed. Bruce had called him to offer him a position at WE.

Like his parents, Danny enjoyed his freedom, so instead, he offered to be a freelance inventor. He would show the Wayne's first dibs but go where the wind took him. He made them if he found buyers who weren't trying to ice him out of profits.

Unlike his parents, he didn't waste the funds past his travels. Slowly but surely building up a fortune over time.

Danny still went out as Phantom, but over the years he invented random gadgets and chemicals that he would ship to Bruce for a healthy paycheck. Ussually he makes something that the rich man off-handedly comments on.

"Oh Danny, I just loved skydiving, but I'm scared Dick's parachute will get stuck."

Danny invented one with small rocket blasters Bruce could manually control into landing for his son.

"I always enjoy undersea diving. The tanks are a killer on my back. Jason was almost weighted down by them too."

Danny created a breathing mask that had the tanks in smaller easier-to-carry cylinders.

"Tim really loves his computers. Wish I could take the whole thing with me when I go out!"

Danny had a working computer on a heliographic wristwatch the next month.

It was awesome. Danny traveled a lot but always found time to call and speak with Bruce. He got to know the man well over the years, found himself chatting with him for hours, and even spent his visits to Gotham at Wayne Manor as a guest.

Bruce's kids were a riot to be around. He would often go away for a while only to return and find that they had grown in numbers. He loved them like his own and found himself a confidant among the children.

It was he that Dick called to whispers about his insecurity within Bruce's home. He would go to all the gymnastics and mathletes shows he could catch, cheering the loudest among the rich parents as Dick outshone the rest of the children.

Danny had practically flown home to rip Bruce a new one until the man admitted to his gapping son that he had applied to be his father mere months after taking him in.

It was Danny that Jason spoke to when Dick and Bruce's fights were too loud. He would take the boy on trips, and talk for hours about books to calm down, then he had sat Bruce and Dick down to rip another new one.

It was no surprise that Jason had called him when he had tried to run away to confront his birth mother. He had been there to see the bitch arrested before she could hurt Jason.

It was Danny that Tim often sought out to showcase his photos. He always made sure to call the boy right before he was meant to sleep, regardless of which part of the world Danny was on, to wish him goodnight and talk about their days.

Tim always brightened whenever Danny caught his skateboard competitions or club performances. He was the one who found out Tim's biological parents neglected him after the boy told him, and he was the one to help Bruce win custody.

Then came Damian, who was as scared as he was angry. Danny adored him and saw so many ghost-like mannerisms in him that connecting to the boy wasn't hard at all.

Bruce didn't seem to understand that his son was used to outlined expectations and grew irritable when he felt he failed them. He was the one that help Damian get used to his environment and was the one the boy was much more willing to try new things with.

Steph and Danny often got along well with their sense of humor, but mostly she followed him around, seeking approval that likely missed out from her parents. They would sit down and talk about her future and what she wanted in life, and he even let her practice her makeup on him and giggle about boys.

Sometimes, it felt like she didn't have to be the tough girl from the rough part of town. She could be a teenage girl without a care in the world. At least, that's what she claimed Danny made her feel like.

Cass didn't talk much, but she didn't have to for Danny to not see how much she enjoyed their days out, too.

He loved taking her to see the arts, to sit and listen to music together, and most of all, to see her slowly bloom into a sociable young lady so different from the closed-off girl that first arrived at Wayne Manor.

Duke was still relatively new, but Danny could spot the wild, unhinged look in his eye that would have made him a proper Fenton. The two often spent their time playing video games and working in the community together.

Duke seemed to enjoy when Danny invited him to tag along on short trips, especially when the two would go camping. As someone who grew up in the city, he had never been fishing until Danny taught him how to reel in a big one at a lake a state over. The whole Wayne family had cheered the dark skin boy on as he held the trout over his head for the photo.

Alfred treated him like one of the family sometimes meeting up with Danny on his travels for a cup of tea or a nice phone call to gossip about Bruce.

Danny loved it but adored when the Waynes would help with his inventions. Even if all they did was sit in his makeshift lab inside his RV or the west wing of Wayne Manor like Bruce did, having them made his hands fly faster and his calculations sharper.

Sometimes, he caught the strangest, softest look on Bruce's face when Danny would be wielding.

Danny was so used to this lifestyle that he would forget about his ghost powers. It's not like he really needed them.

That came to head when he returned to Gotham on a whim, wanting to surprise Bruce for his birthday by taking the other man out to dinner somewhere fancy he happened to stumble across the scene of Scarecrow holding the Waynes- his Waynes- as hostages at an award ceremony in the new mental hospital they had funded.

Danny hadn't thought.

He saw the Fear Gas vents open and pulled one of his gadgets. He threw it as hard as he could at Scarecrow, watching with satisfaction as it bounced off the manic's head- knocking him out and spinning in place as it activated.

It was a miniature vacuum- meant to gather pollution in the air to hopefully clean up their planet- sucking in all the green smoke before it could harm.

He three out of the other five at the goons that had tried to gas the spectators before, pressing his anti-gravity plates- reversing them to slam the goons into a heap and officially knocking them out.

Danny took down the Rouge in under a minute.

"Bruce! Kids! Are you alright?" He cried rushing the stage to the stunned family. He helped them out of their bonds, gentelly tracing the bruise on Bruce's face with a soft whine. "They hurt you."

"I'm alright, darling," Bruce muttered, leaning into his palm. "I'm better with you here. What was that?"

"Oh just a-"

"Look out!" Dick suddenly screams as a flash of ice comes from nowhere. Danny tucks Bruce onto his chest and rolls away from the ray's pathway. They land with his friend on his back and Danny leaning over him in a protective hunch.

Quickly, he stops his foot against the ice, pressing the heel back and watching bursts of electricity from his built-in tazer race up the ice to the beam of Dr. Freeze.

The man doesn't have time to react before spamming and hitting the ground. Danny scoffs. "Using a ray with a cryogenic laser beam so last season. Invent something new, you one act poney."

Bruce stares up at him with those soft eyes again, and Danny smiles now that he is sure the Danger is gone.

"Is there nothing that mind of yours can't do?" Bruce asks and Danny laughs helping him to his feet as police swarm the place.

"Find me a date, maybe." Danny jokes, "I haven't had one since you took in Dick.""

"Neither has Father!" Damian shouts from behind them. Danny bemussingly watches the young boy march up to gesture at the mortified-looking man.

Despite his father's obvious embarrassment, Damian does not seem bothered to shout for everyone to hear. "He may swing both ways but hasn't acquired a suitable spouse. What says you, Danny? You could assist in correcting this error."

"Sure, I'll take him out." Danny laughs, patting the boy on his shoulder, knowing he hates to have his hair touched. Damian all but melts into his hand like his father seemingly smug. "I know a great club to meet some great people in Metropolis!"

Damian's smug look fades away as Bruce's eyes fall. "I meant for you to be Father's sp-"

"Danny, would you mind explaining those tazer shoes?" Bruce cuts in, throwing a arm over the inventor's shoulder. "They were dazzling!"

"Oh, Bruce, I'm always happy to explain my creations!"

Damian pouts as the two walk away, acting like a married couple to the scattered spectators. If only his Father would just man up and tell Danny that he's practically been his second Father all these years, they need to officiate it.

Tim sighs, placing a hand like Danny did on his shoulder. "It's okay, Dami. This time, we will surely succeed in the Parent Trap plan. Maybe before Danny gets lost in the lab trying to invent a way to warp travel."

"Don't even joke, Tim," Jason says. "Danny would figure that out. He created the Zeta Beams to make it to my senior play. He'll figure out warping if we ask him to."

"Dad's the best," Steph laughs, and they all agree, determined more than ever to make Parent Trap happen.

Master Post Link

[victoria-secret-r3xies]

hi i really want to actually start like... you know, do you have any advice on how to start and not get unmotivated quickly?

Vanessa's official guide on how to not fuck up at yk what.

(Tw obvi)

Okay first random thing I would recommend is decide what d!3t soda you're going to like, or if you don't like a d!3t soda at all and you actually want to be more like a flavored water girl. Trust me this will just make things easier down the line. I remember at the beginning I was so confused on what to drink so this is so random but I just wanted to put that there so that way you don't end up drinking all your daily c@ls like I did 😭😭

Make sure that if you're trying to make friends here do not try to get a stupid coach. There is no point because these are all just crusty old men you do not need that---there's so many people on this side of Tumblr that are actually nice and we'll talk to you and give advice I promise a old man yelling at you for b!nging isnt gonna fix anything.

Then go on any of the websites online and find your daily c@l intake. If you new to r3$triction I would maybeee do 800-900 a day and work your way down. DW about everyone else f@$ting for weeks just start at like 800-900 a day

For the amount of c@ls your eating, try to make it healthy. Trust me there's a whole bunch of sweet treats that you can get for lower c@|ories then normal ones. And also you need PROTEIN. not SUGAR. (I'm kinda yelling at myself lmao I'm a sweet tooth ignore that pls)

SMOOTHIES. they are so good and you can find hundreds of recipes on the internet!!

READ THE CH|C D|3T. THIS HAS BASICALLY ALMOST EVERYTHING YOU ARE EVER GOING TO NEED. If you do not have a copy to this because basically every single physical copy ever has already been sold because the book is now banned try to find a pdf online for free there is a whole bunch of them if you look enough, but if you're being lazy you can just DM me and I will send you a copy of the Google doc. This has uhh EVERYTHING. But if you're too lazy to read the whole entire thing 100% read the one about "bars" so that way you know which protein bars to get

Speaking of protein bars make sure to always have like one or two in your bag. Just in case you end up feeling really dizzy and you're worried you're going to pass out or something I would have one in your bags that way you can urgently eat it at all times.

F@$t|ng can be good. If you can't get a all to it just used to stop watch on your phone and know that it takes 19 hours for ketosis to start AKA your body starts burning your dumbass f@t. Maybe do more research on this because I'm not 100% an expert on here so feel free to correct me people. I would start with maybe a 12 hour one and work your way up. Don't go past 72 unless ur 100% sure you'll be ok. We don't wanna pass out here that's not good for anyone.

Having a #1 th!NSP0 board or person is something that helped me- idk about you I would just go on Pinterest and look up "Wl motivation" so it doesn't flag you and find something.

MAKE MOOTS. TRUST ME #1 ADVICE HERE.

TAKE YOUR DAMN VITAMINS. No I'm not 100% on what vitamins to take here because I myself literally do not take them because I don't have access to them right now. But I know that there's a whole bunch of people who have actually good information about what kind of vitamins to take so--follow their advice not mine because I don't want to accidentally give you crappy advice

This is like really random but like don't stress if your food isn't like organic or aesthetic looking. Trust me 95% of the time fruit is fruit so if it's not some non-GMO organic fruit I promise you'll probably get almost the same health benefits or whatever from fruit (sorry people who are bitches about only eating organic don't yell at me I know it's a difference)

PVRG!NG DOES NOTHING. DO NOT START IT TRUST ME THERE IS NO BENEFITS TO IT (I'm not judging people who are struggling with it right now don't worry ik where your at I'm trying to stop pvrging rn actually I'm not shaming the m!@ people<3) Ik none of this in general is that good but trust me just thr after effects of pvrging is not worth thr half a pound and 1/6 of the ca!s you got rid of

That's about all I have right now. Maybe I'll make a part two

Xoxo ,

Vanessa 🤍🪽

[yukine-sakamoto]

I saw drawfee’s announcement yesterday, and honestly I’m glad they’re letting themselves take it easy. I’ve been so impressed for the past four years at the amount of content they put out per week (2 ~40 minute videos, 2 hr live stream, patreon bonus content), but it’s also been worrying when they would occasionally mention how swamped with work they are. I mean I can only imagine the all the extra time that we don’t see that goes into behind the scenes stuff (rendering, editing, planning, business stuff, merch stuff, etc). I would much rather have a little less content so that the show can continue, be its best, and they can be healthy. Like I’ve really missed the speed draws. I love seeing the whole process, hearing how they made artistic decisions, and having more time to appreciate the renders, but those videos take more time to make. I would love to see them be able to take that time. Plus, I feel like with any content creators you can tell when they’re not having a good time with whatever they’re doing, and it’s way more fun to watch someone who’s enjoying themselves. It’s counterproductive to want quantity over quality. I just wanted to post something supportive since I feel like it’s hard for creators to make these kinds of decisions.

[mellowmistt]

baby fever | matt sturniolo

summary: story of pregnancy with Matt (yes he’s a girl dad)

content: fluff, swearing

A/N: Feel free to send me story requests and I will do my best!

—————————

I wake up against Matt’s embrace, his arm over my waist, head nestled against my shoulder. I gently opened my eyes, adjusting the light gleaming through the blinds. I inhaled deeply, instinctively stretching my legs to wake my body up.

“Morning” Matt whispers croakily, rubbing my waist gently.

“Good morni-“ I could barely finish my sentence before gulping. I abruptly sat up, feeling like I would need to rush to the bathroom, but the feeling went away for a few moments.

“Hey what’s wrong?” Matt asks, sitting up and placing a hand on my shoulder.

I stare blankly at the bedsheets, the sick feeling creeping back up my throat, I jump out of bed and run to the bathroom, heaving into the toilet.

Matt follows behind, concerned at my sudden movements. He rubs my back and pulls hair strands out of my face as I lean back from the toilet, deeply breathing at the sudden disruption through my body.

“Does this mean what I think it does?” Matt asks softly. I turn to look at him, the realisation only just hitting me. We had discussions about having a baby a few months back, we didn’t exactly plan or start ‘trying’ to concieve, we just decided it would all happen naturally when the time was right.

“I should probably go buy a test” I say, exhaling another deep breath.

I put the cap back on the end of the test strip and flush the chain. I walk back into the bedroom and sit on the end of the bed next to Matt, who immediately puts his arm around me for comfort. We sit like this for a few minutes, looking at the upside-down test.

Once the right amount of time had passed, I glanced at Matt before flipping the test around. Sure enough, it read ‘Pregnant; 2-3 weeks’

“Oh my gosh!” I say with a gasp, smiling into Matt’s chest.

“No way!” He says, soft laughter escaping in happiness before kissing my head.

~~~~~

A few weeks later, we finally had ultrasound pictures and confirmation of a healthy pregnancy so far, meaning we could finally tell people. Of course Nick, Chris and our parents were the first priority, Matt and I had already planned on how to tell them. It had been so hard not being able to tell Nick and Chris, feeling so nauseous the past few weeks when hanging out with them, barely wanting to eat but also being ravenous at the same time because if I don’t eat I will definitely throw up.

We decided to give ‘gifts’ to Nick and Chris and pretend it’s a prank for YouTube. We bought two gift bags, tissue paper and two little gift boxes to put an ultrasound picture in.

“Okay, here are the gift bags!” I say, placing them onto the kitchen table in front of where Nick and Chris were sat, suspiciously eyeing Matt as he holds the camera, smiling.

“Why am I scared” Nick exclaims, grinning at Chris.

“I know like this is so random” Chris laughs nervously.

“Okay, you can open them now” I say, glancing at Matt.

They both undo the ribbon securing the bags and unfold the tissue paper.

“Okayy, a little box?” Nick says, pulling it out in sync with Chris.

They both open it hesitantly, Nicks jaw drops instantly, staring blankly at the picture for a few moments.

Chris takes a few moments inspecting the picture in the box before he realises what it is.

“Whatttt!” Nick says, looking up at Matt and I in awe.

Chris finally looks at us, jaw dropped.

“Is this real?!” He exclaims through giggles.

“Yeah, I’m six weeks pregnant” I say, pulling my sweatshirt up and showing them the small bump which is starting to become more visible.

Matt chuckles softly behind the camera as he watches his brother’s reactions.

“Oh my god!” Chris exclaims, standing up with a big smile.

“Oh my god why am I about to cry!” Nick states as he stands up and hugs me, laughing softly.

“You guys are gonna be uncles finally” Matt says as Chris hugs him.

“I’m so excited!” Chris exclaims, before running to hug me.

~~~~

I was now 18 weeks, and into my second trimester. I had just had another scan which determined the sex of the baby. Matt and I wanted it to be a surprise to share with everyone, so we didn’t open the card and gave it to a bakery to make a gender reveal cake.

Matt and I stood against the table, the cake in front of us iced in white with a black ‘?’ in the middle.

Our friends and Nick and Chris stood around us, excitedly awaiting the reveal.

“Okay..three..two…one!” They all say, and Matt and I cut a slice of cake, waiting a moment before pulling it up, revealing a bright pink sponge. I immediately tear up, my hand comes to my mouth as I put down the knife and hug Matt. I had always dreamt of having a baby girl, a mini me. Our friends cheer in awe.

“Oh my gosh I’m so excited baby, we’re going to have a daughter!” Matt says before kissing my head.

~~~~

We had reached the week of the due date, these past nine months have flown by. Matt had been my number one supporter of course, he would always take trips to the store to get me my favourite chocolate bars or cookies, whatever I was craving, he held my stomach when we would go to sleep, trying to keep me as comfortable as possible. He loved to kiss my belly and talk to our baby, saying how excited he was to meet her, and that Nick and Chris will be the best uncles to her.

It was almost seven pm. I had just changed into my pajamas and sat beside Nick on the couch, who had come over for a movie night. Matt was at the store again buying snacks with Chris.

“You okay?” Nick checks in, helping me sit on the couch.

“Yeah, fine for now” I say, putting my feet onto the recliner. I felt massive, I couldn’t wait for this baby to be here, but of course at the same time I was terrified of giving birth.

A few minutes had gone by, and I started to feel sharp flashes of pain on and off in my stomach. I sat up abruptly after one very painful one.

“Woah, what’s happening?” Nick says nervously.

“Owww… I think.. I’m getting contractions” I say, stuttering through the pain flashes, holding my stomach in reflex.

“Oh my god okay I’m calling Matt!” Nick exclaims, grabbing his phone and rapidly tapping to find Matt’s contact.

I shut my eyes and breath deeply, trying to keep myself calm.

“Matt get home right now I think the baby is coming!” Nick exclaims.

“Oh fuck really? I’m literally two minutes away hold on!” I hear Matt say through the phone, before hanging up.

“Nick can you go grab…my hospital bag it’s on the floor next to my..bed!” I say.

“Yeah of course, hold on!” Nick says, rushing to my bedroom, returning a moment later.

“Here let me help you up, we’re gonna have to get you into Matt’s car as soon as he arrives” Nick says, offering his hands to me.

I stand, and immediately feel water ooze out of me. I look down and see my pajama pants wet.

“Oh god my water just broke!” I state.

“It’s fine, come on let’s go to the garage” Nick says reassuringly. I lean on Nick, we slowly walk toward the garage, hearing Matt pull up.

He opens the door and runs out, Chris emerges from the passenger side with a worried look on his face.

“Okay come on baby get in” Matt says as he pulls me over to the passenger side.

“Chris go run and get the hospital bag it’s on the sofa!” Nick says, helping me get seated.

The boys rush inside the car, Chris runs back with the bag and gets in the backseat next to Nick, barely getting time to buckle up before Matt was reversed out onto the road.

I let out pained breaths throughout the ride, the pain only getting worse. It was a fifteen minute drive to the hospital, Matt was trying his best to comfort me throughout the journey.

“Just keep breathing, deep breaths we’re almost there baby.” He says softly, trying to keep everyone calm as he gently rubs my leg.

I grip onto each side of the car seat, leaning my head back trying to ignore the pain.

“Ahhh fuck!” I state.

“I’m sorry I’m going as fast as I can sweetheart!” Matt says as he glances back at me with sympathetic eyes.

“Free space there Matt!”Chris exclaims after a few minutes. I didn’t even realise we were already in the parking garage of the hospital.

Matt quickly pulls into the parking space, luckily it was right by the entrance.

“Chris run in and ask them for assistance!” Matt shouts as he unbuckles my belt.

Chris runs out the door, Nick grabs the bag and puts it over his shoulder. Matt runs around the front of the car to help me out.

“Ohhh holy shit” I breathe out, it hurt so bad getting out of the car.

“Just hang on sweetheart, we’re at the hospital now you’re doing so well!” Matt says.

Chris comes back with a nurse who has a wheelchair, and we get escorted to the maternity ward.

~~~~

“One more push honey!” A nurse shouts as I lay on the bed, squeezing Matt’s hand as I scream through the pain.

“Just one more push baby you are doing amazing!” Matt says, rubbing his thumb against my hand gripping onto his, his other hand on my shoulder.

I push, nearly crying as I feel the burn again, sweat was running down my forehead, my face was hot and flushed and I felt like I was about to pass out. I hear the baby cry out, and a wave of relief passes through me. I did it. Matt kisses the top of my head.

“Well done baby, I’m so proud of you!” He says softly.

~~~~

Matt sat next to me, holding my hand as I rest, watching our baby in the cot next to us.

“Go get Nick and Chris” I say, looking at Matt smiling. It was time for them to meet her.

“Alright I’ll be right back” he says, kissing my hand as he lets it go.

I sit up slowly, leaning over the cot.

“You ready to meet your uncles my little angel?” I say softly, gently holding her tiny hand. I couldn’t believe this was real. We had this tiny precious life to look after, I knew Matt was going to be an amazing dad, the way he cares for me, he will care for our daughter even more strongly, which makes me smile at the thought.

A few moments pass before Nick and Chris enter the room.

“Hey!” Chris says, smiling as he sees his niece.

“I’m so proud of you!” Nick says, putting a reassuring hand on my shoulder, before putting all his attention on his new niece.

“Oh my gosh, hi!” Chris says excitedly, holding her hand gently.

“Oh my god I’m literally gonna cry she’s so adorable!” Nick says smiling down at her.

Matt sits beside me, putting his hand around my back and kissing my cheek.

“How are you feeling?” He asks.

“I’m fine, a little tired though” I admit.

“I’ll have them leave if you wanna go to sleep.” Matt says, rubbing my back.

“No no, I’m fine, they should see their new niece Matt” I says smiling, watching the joy on both of his brothers faces as they talk to the baby.

“I’m your uncle Nick!” Nick says in a high pitch tone, even though she is sleeping.

“We brought the snacks Matt and I bought from the store before!” Chris says, handing me the big bag of goodies.

“Oh my thank you so much!” I say, grabbing a chocolate bar.

“Ugh this is amazing!” I state as I bite into the chocolate. Why does it taste so much better after giving birth?

“Do you guys have a name yet?” Nick asks, turning to face Matt and I.

“We’ve been bouncing around a few names, but we’re gonna lock one in when she opens her eyes” Matt replies.

“Lock one in” Nick laughs as he imitates Matt’s choice of words.

“You know what I mean!” Matt giggles.

We sit and relax together for the rest of the night, I drifted to sleep at some point, finally resting in happiness after all the hard work of the past few hours.

~~~~

A/N: let me know if you want a Chris version! Thankyou for reading if you got this far <3

[mango-bango-bby]

Hello! I have a platonic yandere Miguel request!

So platonic yandere Miguel with reader who’s been on a strawberry kick lately. Like they will just make strawberry things(ie cakes cupcakes smoothies milkshakes extra.) and will just eat them as a snack. Reader has gotten used to being kidnapped by him and just makes food for themselves like that. He notices and is like: is this healthy? And asks Lyla if it is and stuff.

I’ve been on a strawberry kick for the past few weeks so yeah. Thank you so much! Have a good day/night/morning/evening!

♡ Strawberry ♡

Content Warning ⚠️: Yandere, platonic yandere, dad!Miguel, teen!reader, mentions of possible kidnapping, Lyla messing with Miguel, I didn’t proofread this 💪

Summary: Your father is concerned for your health because you seemingly only eat strawberries (Platonic!Yan!Miguel O’Hara x GN!teen!reader)

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

You only ate strawberries. Every single day, all day. You had strawberries in your oatmeal for breakfast. You would have a salad with strawberries in it for lunch. You’d have strawberries with your dinner. And then you’d end the day with strawberry ice cream. It was almost all you ate and of course Miguel took notice of this.

He didn’t mind but the amount of strawberries you ate per day could not be healthy. Even if you wanted a snack, it would always be strawberries. He wants you to be healthy. And yet you’re so sarcastic with him, yet you’re teenager so he guesses that’s what happens.

“Is that even healthy?” he asked one day, watching your eyes focused on the TV in front of you. You hummed, taking a bite out of one of the strawberries you were eating as a snack.

“Hmm, strawberries are fruit. Fruit are healthy. Maybe you should try it sometime” you say, sitting in the couch, not taking your eyes off of the TV. You even had a bowl of strawberries in your lap, snacking on them. It’s like you’re being frustrating on purpose sometimes.

He let it go but he still couldn’t help but be worried for you. He wants you to be healthy, he looks after you. He is your father, even if you refuse to call him that. He’s supposed to protect you. And that also means he’s supposed to make sure you’re healthy and safe.

Miguel stands in HQ, looking over his monitors. But he can’t focus. “Lyla?” He asks, her immediately appearing in a flash of peach and pink. “What?” She asks, she can see he’s frustrated. But he’s always frustrated so it didn’t bother her much.

“Are strawberries healthy in a large amount? What the limit per day to still be healthy?” He asks, immediately hearing her start teasing him. The hologram can’t help but snicker. “Why? You eating to many?” She laughs out loud but Miguel only huffs at her. “It’s not me, now answer my question” He scowls, seeing her adjust her heart sunglasses as she realized

“Oh-” She mumbles in realization, immediately smirking at him. “It’s that kid you stole, huh? I’m right, aren’t I?” She smirks, squinting at his reaction. She chucked at him once again “You worried about them?” She coos, pouting to tease him,

Miguel rolls his eyes at her. “I didn’t steal them, I saved them. Answer my question” He practically growls, she sighs dramatically as she finally caves. She pulls up a small hologram monitor, looking over it as she reads.

“They should be fine. It should be healthy. It’s recommended only eight strawberries a day though” She says, her eyes focused as she reads the screen. Miguel murmurs something, nodding his head.

Well, you’re definitely eating more than eight. He’s going to have to cut down how many you’re allowed. Although you’re definitely not going to be happy about that. But he’s your father and it’s his job to keep you safe and happy.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Thank you for reading, darling!!

(A/N: I wrote more Miguel for you all, I’m on a Miguel kick, like I can’t stop writing him!! So I hope you guys like Miguel O’Hara because I’m writing a lot of him run 😭😭 I thought this idea was so cute, plus I liked writing Lyla, she’s so fun to write. I definitely think her and reader would be friends 🫶)

Masterlist ➸ ♡

[the-anxious-stargazer]

Like Lucky Strike || Sam Carpenter

Pairing: Sam Carpenter x Fem!Reader

Summary: After Y/N asks out Sam on a date, both of them worry about how the night would go. When the night came and the date went on, they felt their worries settle down knowing that they were both comfortable of each other.

Words: 4.4k

Note: i'm happy y'all enjoyed the first part and honestly i never thought of making a part 2 so here you go! i'm sorry if it took too long i was trying so hard to find the motivation to write the date part during a breakup HUHU enjoy more sam fluff bc this woman deserves the fucking world :) also yes quinn never went bad we are healthy so she is not going to avenge her bitchass brother.

[Masterlist] [Part 1]

・ ‥…━━━━━━━━━━♡♡♡━━━━━━━━━━…‥ ・

"Hey Matty, where's a great place to bring a girl you have been crushing on for quite some time now? " Y/N asks her good friend, who paused his typing,

"Wait, you finally asked Sam out?" Matt states his shock.

Y/N had been rambling to her good friend and boss, Matt, about how things had been going between her and Sam. If he were being honest, his friend's been stupidly in love with Sam since the day she shared their conversation one night at the diner. For someone who likes to observe the world around her, Matt was sure she was the most oblivious of how she felt towards a specific woman that works in her favorite diner.

It had been the day after Y/N had walked Sam to her apartment after work and asked her to dinner, and for the past few hours since she got home, she's been overthinking about it. She ends up planning what she'd be wearing for the date and settled wearing something more casual than what she always wore whenever she stopped by the diner. If someone were watching her choosing between the amount of clothes she had picked they'd think that she has lost her mind. Though Y/N had decided on her clothes, the next on her list was the place they'd have dinner at. Like what Sam said last night, she was aiming for a place they can only afford than going to an expensive restaurant and pouring her entire savings into some dish that she's not even sure she'd like. So that's why she seeks someone else's opinion,

"Yes, I did, and I'm panicking because I have no place in mind to take her to!" The woman nervously answers before she sat down on the chair by his table and tapped her feet. It was something she's been doing for the past few hours of contemplating things.

"Well, don't take her anywhere expensive." Her friend emphasizes as he leans back in his chair and crosses his arms.

"I'm aware, dude. I can't spend my entire bank account for a plate of steak that I can do 10x better at home." Y/N jokes when she can't even cook much.

"Then why not cook her something?" Matt playfully suggests, and he sees the cringe on her face before replying, "And attempt to burn my place down again? Gladly! " 

"C'mon, it can't be that bad Y/N." He tries to convince her.

Y/N suddenly recalls the time she tried to make spaghetti and ended up burning the sauce and cooking her noodles mushy. The chaos she omitted that Sunday afternoon caused her fire alarm to go off, and earned numerous knocks on her door after her attempt. Let's just say she never bothered to try cooking anything fresh other than instant noodles and canned food. Even her mother laughed so hard at her story when she was telling it on the phone.

"Did you forget that I almost burned my place down because of tomato sauce, Matthew?" The sarcasm that drips in her voice makes Matt laugh,

"Oh, what about that taco truck you said you've been wanting to try for the past two weeks?" Matt remembers her words. The woman's eyes light up from his suggestion.

Y/N still had been eyeing that taco truck that was a few walks away from her apartment but had always been preoccupied to try.

"Oh my gosh, Matt. You're a fucking genius! " Y/N exclaims before standing up.

"Then I'll let you get off early later." Matt chuckles at his friend before he watches her walk out of his room and go to the lobby to continue her brainstorming. Though she does stop by the door before saying, "Thank you, Matty. You're the best!"

Meanwhile, in the Bailey-Carpenter apartment, Sam had reluctantly asked her young sister what outfit she could wear, and it ended up Mindy, Anika, and Quinn tagging along. Tara was beyond ecstatic to help her big sister with something like this. After almost a year of living in New York, Sam's finally letting herself be open in the dating scene. The other three were beyond surprised to hear that the Samantha Carpenter was going on a date with someone they had never heard of before, but Tara filled them with what she knew. Quinn and Tara rummage into Sam's closet for some clothes qualified enough for her to wear tonight. 

So far, the progress is going very slow.

"Wait so, she's a regular at the diner you work at and defended you from these mean girls that been harassing you? Damn, now I want to meet the woman." Mindy babbles as she sat on Sam's bed and rests one of her arms in-between her girlfriend's thighs.

"And she always walks her home after her shifts. I sometimes catch up to them and that ass of hers is looking mighty fine in those pantsuits." Quinn adds while studying one of Sam's crop top.

"That's so sweet. Sam, she already sounds like a keeper." Anika smiles at the older Carpenter who has been embarrassed the entire time.

"Oh my god you guys, we're not even anything yet." Sam covers her face.

"Not even anything? Sam, she's literally the first person you opened up to with none of our connections. And she waits for you to finish your shift sometimes and walks you home!" Tara points out facts as she turns around to face her sister,

"And— And, she's the first person to ever make you genuinely laugh! I have never heard you laugh since you know who!" Her sister continues.

"Tell me, has she ever done that to anyone else at the diner?" The younger Carpenter continues, and the three wait for her response as she froze.

The coffee breaks she always offered to everyone turned out mostly to be her's except for the times she was off. Y/N does always wait for her to finish her shift but only when she's on the morning shift. On the night shifts, she's more than happy to accompany her before 10 pm to head home and rest. Sam always texted her whenever she got home before going to sleep and it always surprised her when she got a reply so early to bid her to have a good rest. Y/N only offered the walks to her specifically that even Cate and Dolly tease her about it while Dale proudly smiles at his favorite regular. Sam concludes that her sister was right. When she took too long to respond Tara snaps her fingers and scoffs in amusement.

"See? There is something!" The younger Carpenter finishes before she goes back to help Quinn.

"Okay, as much as I want to help Tara prove that she's right, why do you not have anything spicy here Sam? Not even a red dress or a cute skirt?" Quinn interjects and she gives up.

"I mean, tank tops, skinny jeans, and boots are Sam's thing. I don't see a problem with that." Mindy joins in with a shoulder shrug.

"I agree with her on that one." Her girlfriend beams and Mindy kisses her cheek for it.

Sam smiles at their antics before she finally helps find the perfect fit for her. She felt content to be surrounded by people who support her in this new chapter in her life. Part of her still felt incredibly nervous to go out with Y/N who felt the same way as she changed to the outfit she had planned which was a green plaid jacket, white shirt, black jeans, and walking shoes. It felt weird to dress this comfortably just to see Sam. She's at least checked herself in the mirror more times she can count than usual and has contemplated too many times if she should drop the jacket or not. But the weather today seems to tell her that it might rain one way or the other. Y/N just had to be sure that she was prepared for the worst.

When she finally stopped herself from stressing about her fit, she grabbed her stuff and left her apartment to walk her way to Sam's apartment. Even if it was around five blocks away walking felt better than getting a taxi and getting stuck in traffic at this hour. Y/N put on her earphones as she strutted through the New York crowd and minded her business. The people around her moved in routine as some bumped into each other and yelled at the person to watch their way while some people talked loudly on the phone. She was beyond immune to how the people here are the way they are. So as Y/N arrives at the Bailey-Carpenter apartment building, she catches a glimpse of the sisters waiting for her by the stairs and Tara is the first one to notice her arrival. Her eyes couldn't leave Sam's body as she stood next to her sister who sat on the stairs and tapped her shoes nervously. She wore a cropped tank top and blue skinny jeans to match her usual boots that she wore to work. Y/N always liked her wearing tank tops because she gets to see those arms for free.

"Y/N!" Tara jumped from her seat as she ran to hug the woman nearing them. Y/N smiles at the younger Carpenter and hugs her with one hand.

Sam looks up to see both of them and she freezes at the sight of her. Those doe eyes couldn't leave Y/N's figure as she initiated small talk with Tara. Everything else blurred out as she watched the woman smile as she spoke and her voice was inaudible. She thought she looked amazing even in casual wear. It was too weird to see her outside of her work clothes since she's gotten so used to Y/N visiting her right after work. She didn't even realize that they had approached her. Sam couldn't snap out of her trance until someone snapped their fingers in front of her. Tara giggled at her sister's unresponsiveness when Y/N greeted her and dropped her hand that was in front of her sister's face.

"Huh?" Sam uttered as she blinked a few times.

"You good, Sam?" Y/N asks as she tries to hide away her amusement,

"Yeah, y-you look good." She sheepishly replies and smiles back at her before she hears her compliment her back, "I could say the same for you,"

"You ready?" The woman saw her nod before both of them turned to notice Tara grinning at them.

"You better bring her back home before 10 or we will hunt you down, Y/L/N." The younger Carpenter tries to intimidate her with an emphasis on "we" and it makes Y/N laugh at her attempt. The interaction caused Sam to push Y/N's back for them to leave.

"10 o' clock, Y/L/N! Don't forget it! "

"Yes, ma'am!" She turns around and shouts back with a salute.

"Tara get back inside! I'll see you later." Tara shakes her head while giggling before following her order.

Unconsciously, Y/N holds her hand while Sam's free hand covers her face in embarrassment. As much as she loved her sister dearly, Tara was surely doing all she could to humiliate her in front of Y/N. But deep down, she's more than happy that they bonded well. Tara is kind of easy to befriend so Y/N had no worries getting along with the young Carpenter. The woman in question smiles at her as she covers her blushed face and finally takes the lead to walk them to their destination.

"I am so sorry about her." Sam tries to apologize.

"It's nothing, I like seeing you all embarrassed. It's cute." Y/N let her know.

Sam tries to act cool from her words and removes her hand from her face before looking at her to ask, "Stop it! Where are you taking us?"

"Oh, there's this taco truck I've always passed whenever I come back from the diner and have always wanted to try it out. Might as well try there." Y/N informs as they walk past a crowd.

They were a crowd of teenagers and laughing loudly at their shenanigans. Y/N felt Sam stiffen from the crowd so she carefully let go of her hand and slipped it on her back to settle her hand on her waist. This moved their bodies closer and the move made Sam blush again. Part of her wish was that Y/N wouldn't notice it but she was already too late as it made her smirk. Her cautious mind calmed down after.

"Do you want me to move away?" The woman softly questions to her ear. She could've sworn that her voice shifted from sweet to silky.

Situations like this used to make Sam freeze after Woodsboro, but Y/N has unconsciously helped her get through it. She felt incredibly safe with her around. Safety was something she had never felt since moving to New York before all the rumors started.

"N-No, this is fine." Sam stuttered, cursing at herself for doing so.

Y/N just simply smiles before they continue walking close to each other. The warm feeling on her chest continued that she couldn't help herself from smiling. Sam's nervousness was long gone and she felt more comfortable in Y/N's arms. They were able to pass by the diner and wave at the staff and regular customers inside. Behind Y/N's back, Dale had just won the bet he had with both servers who thought she wouldn't have the guts to ask Sam or the other way around. Cate whined in defeat before handing the cook his ten bucks. The smug smile on Dale's face only annoyed Dolly who also gave her ten bucks and continued cleaning the table she had abandoned after seeing the two.

When Y/N notices the familiar deli shop on the other side of the road she smiles knowing that they are near. Her hands loosen from Sam's hips and beams at her,

"What kind of taco do you like?" The woman randomly asks and Sam hums to think about her answer while they wait,

"My dad used to make these fish tacos when we were young and when we had a trip to Mexico I had this amazing one but forgot it," Sam replies.

"What about you?" She voices out her curiosity.

"I've had Al Pastor once and it was good. The one that's been showing up in my timeline lately is Birria tacos and I swear I want to try them so bad." Y/N happily answers.

Sam only giggles at her ramble before they finally arrive at the place and it was kind of crowded. There was quite the line for both the order and waiting and so far the people who were already eating seemed to be having a good time while enjoying the food. The place had slowly upgraded since Y/N had laid eyes on it. At first, it was just a taco truck by an empty parking space, but now there were tables and decorations around their area with lights complimenting the homey vibe of the area. The owner must have gotten a lot of attention to make this place look lively. Sam liked how cozy and warm the area looked as she observed more.

"So, what are we ordering?" Y/N wonders as she looks her way.

She sees the older Carpenter stare at the sign and concentrate on which order should she pick. The way her eyebrows furrowed as she debated between fish and beef made Y/N's heart flutter. Those doe eyes that used to be so mysterious are now mesmerizing to her. She thought she was so adorable that she didn't even realize that she'd been staring for too long.

"I mean, we only have two options. We can order both and just share if you'd like?" Sam concludes her thought process before she turns to see the woman's reaction only to be smiling at her mindlessly.

"Y/N? " She calls for her when she doesn't answer her.

"Hmm? Yeah, that sounds good to me." Y/N blurts out when she pulls away from her thoughts and it's Sam's turn to be amused by her getting distracted.

"What's on your mind?" Sam tries to tease her and it only makes the woman blush.

"I-I, uhm—"

"I'm messing with you, dummy." The teasing she caused had only made Y/N blush even harder as she scratched the back of her head and laughed along with her.

Just the sight of Y/N like this will be stuck at the back of Sam's head for who knows how long.

While waiting in line, the two continued conversing about their day. Y/N excluded the part where she was panicking over where she'd take them to dinner and stressing over her outfit. She found it cute how all the girls came together to help Sam with her outfit even when she only asked for Tara. Her sister has mentioned the three before whenever she hangs out at the diner when she has no classes in the afternoon. So far, Mindy is her favorite from the stories. As they ordered and finished up, it was time to wait in line. Gladly the service was fast since around four people were working inside a food truck to cook and prepare while two worked to clean the tables. When their orders were placed and the food served later, both enjoyed their dinner with laughs and stories. Y/N liked both fish and beef but Sam preferred the fish because it brought some nostalgia for her. The woman didn't mind offering the majority of the fish tacos to her and just smiled when Sam appreciated her for offering them.

"You know… I thought you wouldn't return them." Y/N began while trying to add some salsa verde to her half-eaten taco. The Carpenter girl figured that they were talking about how they felt for each other as she wiped off whatever was on her face after finishing her last taco.

"Well, I've never really had anyone openly be friendly with me and stick around even when I don't show much... interest." Sam answers.

"Stick around huh?" The woman teases with a grin before biting in.

"I mean, who's the one who kept asking for coffee breaks?" Sam watches her stifle her laugh while trying to finish chewing her food and swallow it down before replying to her,

"In my defense, I offer coffee breaks to everyone." Y/N tries to say.

"And yet you still offered it after I declined twice. You were a tad bit persistent on that." All she could do was shake her head.

"What can I say, I liked the whole mystery behind you. Intrigued me a lot and I'm glad I was patient enough to make it this far." Y/N admits, leaning back in her seat to cross her arms with a small smile.

Her eyes follow Sam's every move as she leans close to her and hovers her mouth next to her ear to say, "You have something on your face."

The shortness of the gap between them causes Y/N to sit still while the Carpenter girl wipes away the smudge of salsa verde near the corner of her lips with tissue. Her cheeks light up as they stay close and she stares at Sam's lips which seem to be more irresistible than before. The urge to fight herself back from kissing her was her greatest battle right now because she was almost losing. Sam found amusement in her enthralled state, knowing that this was the same woman who almost swerved smoothly through her guarded walls for the past month. All that natural confidence she carried with ease was nowhere to be found now. Y/N felt her hold her chin before forcing her to move her attention to her face she had a smirk. Her blush only worsened.

"Eyes up here, Cariño." Y/N almost melted on the floor when she heard her speak again.

"T-Thank you." She was able to bring herself to voice her gratitude.

Sam only chuckled at her when she replied before checking her phone to see the time. The woman before her stood up with a sigh and motioned her to follow, "Come on, my sister's going to potentially hunt you down if we don't get back at 10."

"R-Right!" Y/N stutters as she stands up.

The Carpenter girl only smiled at her as she went to cling her right arm around her left arm. Both of them walked by the sidewalk with comfortable silence between them and Sam leaned her head to her shoulder, trusting Y/N fully. She felt a sense of accomplishment for coming this far. All that patience was worth the effort now that she was here with Sam trusting her safety and well-being with her that she could never let herself be like this around anyone else but her family. That warm feeling came back to her chest as they continued to walk and Y/N only smiled at the feel of it.

"Did you enjoy tonight?" Y/N gently asks,

"It was… better than expected. Thank you for tonight." Sam sends her gratitude to her while trying to look up to see her grinning in content.

"You're always welcome, Sam. You deserve it."

Both continued in silence as they walked back to the Carpenter's place. While walking, Y/N felt something land on her face, and she slightly jumped from it. Her head turned left and right to try and figure out what it was before she felt something land again. The woman then looked up to the sky that had the stars hidden, and before they knew it the rain started pouring down at them. Y/N's instinct was to run and look for some cover, but most of them were being occupied by other people. A thought popped into her mind, and she suddenly remembered that she wore her plaid jacket for this exact reason. She then started stripping out of the said jacket and covered Sam's head to keep her dryer.

"You're going to get wet!" Sam scolds her only to be brushed off,

"It's okay, my place is near we can get dry there!" Y/N yells before grabbing her hand to lead them to her apartment.

Both of them ran through the New York rain as it continued to pour harder and they laughed like children playing in the rain. Tara's joking threats were now forgotten and Sam would probably give her a call later to let her know. Y/N could feel her clothes getting wetter in the process but as promised, the buildings that she was all too familiar with walking past whenever she came home came nearer. Sam noted that she lived on a nicer street than she and her sister do, though only a little. When they reached the apartment building, Y/N quickly looked for her keys in the pockets of her jeans and fished them out when she found them. She then unlocks the building door and lets Sam in first before she follows to close the door behind.

"Oh my god, Y/N. You're all soaked up." Sam points out the obvious as she takes off the plaid jacket off her head.

All she heard from her was a laugh before she shakes her head to brush it off.

"At least you're not." The woman beams at her and she thinks she looks like a little kid smiling at her with her hair flat and clothes drenched.

Y/N noted that Lenard, the keeper, would probably kill her for causing a mess on the floor with a puddle slightly forming from the water dripping from them. She'll apologize to him by the morning before she comes to work, probably with a box of his favorite Marlboro to make up to him.

"C'mon, we might get sick if we don't get out of these," Y/N remarked as she started making her way to the elevator.

Luckily enough for them, the elevator was free for them and they both entered the box accompanied by squeaks from their shoes. Y/N pressed the button for her floor and leaned her weight to the railing at the back, Sam following her. The Carpenter girl takes a moment to stare at the woman beside her and notices how her skin glistens from the water and the lighting of the elevator. It was relatively bright, but not bright enough to be blinding. Numerous thoughts came to her mind as she burned her skin with her unwavering eyes that she felt them. Y/N turns to face her and breathed,

"What's on your mind, Sammy?" Something about the way her voice caused the hair on her arms to go up and made her throw all her restraints away.

And hearing that nickname was her breaking point.

"Fuck it," Sam uttered before she grabs Y/N's face and presses her lips onto hers.

Y/N's plaid jacket that she had held has been dropped on the floor and both couldn't be bothered by it. The force Sam had used to press her hard to the wall caught Y/N off guard and the kiss only made her feel like there was a fireworks display in her stomach. She noted how soft her lips were and the desperation in her kiss as they turned their heads in sync. There was a hint of citrus on Sam's lips and she liked the taste of it that they felt irresistible. Hands slowly make their way to Sam's hips before Y/N flips their places with her now pinning the Carpenter girl, barely breaking the kiss.

If only she knew how her knees weakened when she took dominance.

When it seemed like it was taking forever and both women struggled to breathe, they pulled away from each other but not too far away to miss each other's warmth. Sam decided to be the first one to break the silence in the hair,

"I know I was the one who started, but I think… we're going too fast." She addressed as she caught her breath.

Y/N giggles as she looks down to avoid her stare and a shade of pink paints her cheeks, "Yeah, I agree and I don't mind if you want to take things slow."

Sam just smiles at her in content when she looks back to her doe eyes and makes her heart leap at the adoration in Y/N's eyes. She felt too fortunate to have someone as considerate and patient as her. Almost too good to be true. But she reassured herself that Y/N was nothing like Richie. And Sam hoped her heart won't be broken twice with betrayal.

"I'd like that."

・ ‥…━━━━━━━━━━♡♡♡━━━━━━━━━━…‥ ・

THANK YOU FOR READING I'M SORRY IF THIS TOOK LONG <3

[formulapookie]

❤️☀️

Under the cut to read on Tumblr, here to read on Ao3

Careless whisper pecco/vale, 3.1k words

Pecco comes back home when it’s already ten in the evening.

He stayed at the track for hours overtime to analyze what happened with the bike and how he lost it in the corner, basically trashing a possible championship lead because he got it wrong.

Some mechanics told him he shouldn’t hold it so much against himself, but how can he not?  He crashed on home soil, in Misano, after not even being able to win it two weeks prior at the first appointment at that track.

He immediately puts on the race, watching every single moment with great attention.

Once his crash comes he puts on a replay. For an unholy amount of times. Looks and tries to understand how the fuck he could be so stupid to crash like that.

He sees himself sliding on track and on the gavel, a mess of red in the light gray of the side track.

“Stupid idiot”

It’s all he can tell himself. It’s all he thinks really.

“Fucking failure what the fuck is this”

He keeps on watching his figure falling from the bike and losing points in the championship, keeps on insulting himself for how he crashed, for what it means for the championship and for his future in Ducati.

At ten past midnight, when he’s watched himself fall long enough to have it tattooed in his brain, someone knocks at his door.

He knows who’s knocking, and he knows that’s the only reason he can’t ignore him.

He gets up from the cold floor he’s sat on, leaving the remote on the couch and goes to open the front door.

“Hi Vale” “Hi Pecco, care if I come in?”

Vale has - he’s got food with him, food Pecco can’t bring himself to deem worthy of, but lets him in anyway.

He can’t say no to Vale.

“Have you eaten anything yet?”

It’s a dumb question, Vale knows Pecco hasn’t, when he loses, or crashes God forbid, he’s capable of starving himself for two whole days if someone doesn’t force him to eat something.

“No”

“Allora I brought a few things for you” “Not hungry” “Yeah your bullshit doesn’t get to me Pecco, you’re fucking starving, and I can see the race playing on your TV so come eat something”

Pecco looks to the ground, then up to Vale

“I don’t think I-” “Don’t wanna hear it, sit down and eat”

He complies, it’s really difficult for Pecco to keep his ground against him, and once he’s seated Vale starts heating up the food he probably prepared while in Monza for his own race.

“How many times?”

He doesn’t need to specify, Pecco knows he’s asking how many times he’s watched himself fall trying to find out what he did wrong.

"Thirty one”

Vale huffs, taking the food out the microwave and placing it in front of a barely-acknowledging Pecco.

“It’s not healthy. To watch that many times yourself crashing, it gets to your head in ways it shouldn’t” “I have to understand-” “Eat, before we talk you have to eat”

The younger reluctantly starts feeding himself small bites of pasta, trying to keep the food down and not listen to his head telling him to throw it all up.

Once he’s finished Vale takes his plate and puts it in the dishwasher, then walks Pecco to the bedroom.

They should talk, he’s right, but Pecco denies himself of everything when he gets like this, and Vale himself knows how much of a help releasing stress and sadness after a crash can help

He’s done it more than once himself for God’s sake.

That’s why he’s always so slow after Pecco doesn’t perform like he’d want to, and even when he wins, sometimes he over criticizes himself so much Vale has to treat him as if he just lost.

He takes off the younger’s shirt once he gets him to bed, slowly leaving tender kisses on his neck and chest, then going back up and sharing a proper kiss with him, while his own shirt comes off.

“Vale I don’t deserve this you don’t have to-” “Would you stop punishing yourself like this? You watched it thirty one times Pecco, I think it’s enough torture for a long while, I’m gonna give you exactly what you need right now, not what you think you deserve”

Pecco is on the verge of crying, or closing himself up like an armadillo and letting everything in the outside world become far and muffled.

“Let me take care of you ok?” “Ok”

It’s reluctant not because Pecco doesn’t enjoy sex with Vale, he fucking loves it, but because he doesn’t think he’s deserving of it whenever he doesn’t get first place.

And Vale knows, and knows Pecco needs to get some weight off his shoulders, and nothing frees your mind more than sex he found out.

He gets back to kiss him, hands rapidly moving to unzip his pants, having Pecco lift his hips to make it easier for Vale to just take them off.

Vale makes quick work of taking his jeans off as well, then lays Pecco on the bed, starting to kiss at his chest and belly, slowly getting closer to his dick.

His hands are placed beside Pecco’s hips for stability, while the younger’s are one over his eyes and the other buried in Vale’s hair.

The crash is still playing in his head on loop, and Vale knows, knows Pecco thinks he’s disappointed everyone, his family first, him second.

Pecco has this huge fear of disappointing people and not living up to their expectations. And Vale tries to make him understand people would be proud even if he lost the championship, but he can’t get it through his head.

He lifts himself from Pecco’s skin and looks at him, removing the hand covering his eyes and tangling their fingers together.

“Get out of your head and get back to me”

Pecco nods, and accepts Vale’s lips on his with a bit more need than before. One of Vale’s hands sneaks past the waistband of his boxers and curls itself around Pecco’s dick, who’s half hard already, and leaking some precum too.

Pecco moans in the kiss, Vale’s hand is burning hot against his skin, and still feels so forbidden at times, even if it’s been more than one year now, since him and Vale began this complicated relationship between them. 

“Vale”

His voice is soft, but still somehow unsure, like he can’t bring himself to give up control fully, as if he can’t bring himself to let go.

Vale gets rid of the boy’s boxers, yanking them off as if they weren’t even there, and lets go of the hold on his hand.

Instead, he parts Pecco’s legs open, grabbing the lube from the nightstand near the bed, and warming it up quickly in his hands, before slowly pushing in the first finger.

Pecco grips at the sheets, a moan escaping his lips and getting quickly swallowed by Vale, who kisses him roughly, barely letting him breathe.

He pushes a second finger in and Pecco begins to shift towards that mind realm where he’s liquid between Vale’s fingers, where he lets everything morph into pleasure and actually enjoy it instead of overanalyzing every movement the older makes.

Vale keeps being slow, and one may think this is just more torture to Pecco, but it actually is the only way he can keep his thoughts at bay an let himself feel everything.

“Been a while eh? If I did this more often maybe you’d be more relaxed Pecchino yeah?” “Just - just please keep doing this” “Of course”

Vale bites at his Adam’s apple and a shot of pure arousal makes its way up to his brain, leaving him just able to moan out Vale’s name once more.

Pecco’s hand shifts from the sheets he’s gripping to Vale’s bicep, looking for anything that tells him this is here, actually happening, he does it everytime.

“Gonna add a third and then I’m fucking you ok?” “Yes it’s ok yes”

Vale smiles, and still slowly but more resolutely this time pushes  third finger in, scissoring his hole and feeling just how much Pecco needs this. From there it’s not long until he finds his prostate and starts brushing and teasing it, having Pecco make those sweet little whimpers that always get to Vale’s head.

The older kisses him again before breaking away completely to watch how well Pecco is taking him, his own cock is hard at the sight and honestly how could it not? Pecco looks like a vision, all blushy and unfocused, gripping at his arm trying to hold himself onto reality, onto Vale.

Vale removes his finger all together and Pecco reluctantly lets his hold on his arm go, leaving him free of completely undressing himself, and tossing his boxers just on the edge of the bed.

Vale aligns himself with Pecco’s hole and pushes in, he stretched him well, but still he always remains a bit tight around him, and it makes Vale go absolutely crazy for it.

“Fuck Vale deeper”

It’s not often Pecco asks for these things, so Vale is glad he’s doing it right now. He complies immediately, burying himself as deep as he possibly can, letting out a deep breath once he’s completely inside of him.

“Gonna move ok” “Yes yes it’s ok” “Good boy”

And it gets Pecco blushing, not just on his cheeks but all over his chest as well, especially when Vale grabs his thighs and spreads them wider, just to fit more comfortably in between them.

The first thrust is already so good Pecco has to restrain himself from moaning louder than before, but his self control is very short-lived because after a few more he’s letting himself go, sounds of pleasure timed with Vale’s thrusts and the sound of skin slapping.

Vale is holding on his thighs and Pecco is pretty sure that by the strength he’s using they’re gonna be bruised tomorrow. Good.

Vale leans down for yet another kiss, and Pecco welcomes him greedily, wrapping his legs around his waist and forcing them closer. Hands now are everywhere, both his and Vale’s running around on their bodies, their hair.

“Need more Vale I need more”

Of course he does, and the older knows, but he always waits for Pecco to ask, to get out of his shell, to let himself be that kind of vulnerable the boy only lets Vale see. Pecco’s legs are strong, and undeniably so, if Vale wants to free himself from their hold he’s not sure he could right now, not with the need he feels running through Pecco’s veins.

The only thing he can do is pick up the pace, trying to be more precise with his thrusts, look for the prostate and once he finds it just keep on hitting it, driving the boy insane.

Pecco is already close, but Vale knows perfectly well that just one orgasm isn’t going to be enough for him, he’s still too self critical after just one. And Vale surely is not going to refuse Pecco a second release.

“Don’t hold yourself back Pecco, let go, I’ll make sure you come as many times as you need” “Gonna - now” “I know baby I can feel it, come on let go”

And Pecco does just that, lets go of his brain like it’s a balloon in the wind and comes, painting his own abs white and moaning Vale’s name so loud the neighbors surely heard it. Vale keep going, fucking him through his high, and Pecco takes surprisingly little to start getting hard again.

“You’re so beautiful Pecco you know that? So so beautiful and it’s all for me” “Please don’t stop” “Not planning on doing it tesoro don’t worry”

Vale is really fucking good at this, not just with words, but with everything. Pecco feels surrounded by Vale in every aspect right now, despite Vale being slimmer than him he feels like the older man could easily overwhelm him and keep him pinned down on the mattress for hours even.

Which. Happened one time. When he won in Barcelona after crashing in the sprint, Vale had went to him as soon as he could, and he had basically worshiped him and his body for hours, fucking him, kissing him, working him open with his fingers and his tongue and leaving Pecco a babbling and incoherent mess, one hand always holding him down, as Pecco came more times than he can remember.

The memory gets him fully hard again, and Vale starts teasing him more, leaving deep and dark bruises all over his neck. He knows people will notice, ask about them, since he's allegedly single since he broke up with his ex around a year ago.

“Vale no marks they - they’ll ask” “Let them ask, who cares? I’m leaving these for you not them”

And Pecco loses it, he’s almost coming once again, Vale doing this just for him it’s somewhere between sweet, possessive, arousing and just straight up hot.Vale is not doing much better right now, after Pecco comes he’s always so tight around him, it’s overwhelming almost, he knows he’s not gonna last much longer, but luckily Pecco isn’t going to either, not with the way he’s touching the younger.

He gets harsher with it, moving his hands so they’re holding Pecco’s hips down on the mattres, and fucking into him with more force than before, making him moan and whine under him. Pecco gets a hand around his dick and starts stroking himself quick and dirty under Vale’s gaze, the other hand on the bed, fingers holding the sheets tight, knuckles almost going white.

“valevalevale”

It’s the only thing he manages to say before coming again, harder this time, little moans still escaping his chest as Vale keeps fucking him, then once Vale pulls out and comes on his abs as well he’s gone.

Pecco wakes up half an hour later, cleaned up dressed with a pair of boxers and a shirt that’s most definitely not his, as Vale is bringing him water and a little something to eat.

“Thanks” “No need to thank me Pecchino”

Vale sits beside him, he still smells like sex, Pecco smells like sex and Vale.

“Do we really need to talk?” “Yes Pecco we do. This can be good for you, to relax, but you still get right back to criticizing yourself as soon as we finish, everytime it’s like that” “I’m sorry I ruin the moment” “You don’t ruin shit Pecco, you just need someone to talk to, someone who gets how you feel”

Pecco wouldn’t want to doubt Vale’s words but it’s difficult not to. When he feels like today, when he feels like he’s disappointed everyone how can he not doubt?

“Listen, I crashed too, many times, but that doesn’t make me any less worth of what I achieved” “Yeah, but you are you” “And you are you too, if you sucked as much as you think you do you wouldn’t be champion no?”

Pecco scoffs, curling himself beside Vale. With him, after sex, is the only time Pecco actually lets down more barriers and cries. He finds it shaming, something to hide, something he can only trust Vale with.

“i don’t deserve my championships Vale, not like you do” “What the fuck are you saying now Pecco come on” “The truth. In moto2 it was luck, in 2022 I only won cause Fabio’s bike was shit, last year it was because Jorge fell” “No Pecco that’s no -” “This year I keep falling, I keep doing shit, I keep losing control of everything and I can’t hope forever that Jorge will be as stupid or talentless as me and crash it out more often than I do”

There’s silence, for a moment, a still second in which the flight of a mosquito could alter this whole equilibrium that’s set between the two. Then Vale replies.

“You aren’t talentless Pecco, whoever thinks that is an idiot, if you think that yourself then you’re an idiot as well. Can you get better? Yes you can, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t great now too, you do deserve your championships, every single one, and listen to me carefully now”

Vale grabs Pecco’s head in between his hands, turning him towards his face.

“You. didn’t. disappoint. anyone” “But I fell and-” “And so what? Championship’s over because you crashed? Two years ago you were 91 points behind Fabio. And you won because you got them all back. Martin is fast, yes, but you can be faster. You have to stop being so hard on yourself and actually understand how good you are. Fueling yourself with thoughts of ‘If I lose I’m a failure’, which I know you do, doesn’t work, it only gets you rigid and cold and self critical, which then reflects on every second you spend on that goddamn bike” “How can you not be disappointed in me” “Because you never give up Pecco, and that’s something I really admire in people” “But if I keep crashing like that next year Marc’s gonna kill me” “You crash because you’re scared of what the people you care about will think if you don’t win. You get distracted, and you crash. Sometimes you gotta think about the race, the points, not just go and look for the first place like a madman. I learnt it late maybe, I was like that too I’ll admit it, but now I see things a little differently than before”

Pecco doesn’t answer this time, he just snuggles more into Vale’s hold. He feels at ease there, protected, shielded by his own mind.

He’s not convinced of what Vale said, he probably will never be, but he can hear it in his tone Vale is sincere when he says he’s not disappointed in him for crashing.

Vale’s hug is warm against his skin, a relaxing kind of warmth, and Pecco gets lost in it. Vale knows Pecco is not convinced as well, but that’s all he can do for now, try and try and try to get him to understand his worth.

He can’t have Pecco hate himself like that, it would destroy both of them. Pecco firstly because he’d doubt too much of himself, Vale second because he’d see someone he deeply cares about get hurt. Someone he loves, even.

And he can’t have that. So he’ll settle for this, whatever this may be, to have Pecco learn to love himself a bit more each day they spend close, criticize himself yes, but productively, constructively, not in the demolishing way he’s doing right now.

Pecco falls asleep in his arms, and Vale stays. He stays. With Pecco he always does. He already got this thing wrong once, he won’t get it wrong with him.

[huihuiheart]

Focus - NCT - Jaemin - Drabble

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NCT Masterlist

Pairing: Boyfriend Jaemin x Afab Reader

Summary: Your boyfriend is determined to help you unwind from all the stress you've been under.

Warnings: Oral (reader rec)

Word Count: 852

It broke Jaemin’s heart to see you like this...completely drained as you stared blankly at the computer screen still. He knew that you were chasing after dreams and he wouldn’t ever take that away from you. Still, he was worried about how hard you were pushing yourself, knowing that it wasn’t healthy. Your eyes had been bloodshot for the majority of the past two weeks, mostly from the amount of time you spent looking at the screen. He had offered to support you when you went back to school wanting to pursue a higher degree in what you loved, but he wasn’t going to force you not to work either. Moments like this made him wish he had been a bit more insistent on supporting you, however. 

Jaemin came up behind you, placing his hands on your shoulders and massaging the tense muscles for a moment before reaching forward to save your work and close the laptop. He kisses your temple as an apology for the disruption when you let out a mix of a groan and a whine at his putting away your work.

“Jae, I have to have that done by the end of the week. I need to focus.” You insist, reaching with the little energy you have for your laptop only for him to push it further away.

“I’ve been watching baby, you haven’t been able to make any progress for over an hour. Your eyes and your mind need a break to get that focus back. So come settle in bed for a little bit and let’s give your body that rest...you’ll work better after I promise.” He speaks to you softly but is insistent as he helps lead you over to the bed. 

Laying you down on your stomach at first he’s careful to work out more of your muscles after sitting in the same position for so long. Gently turning you around and onto your back, leaning in to place a fleeting kiss on each of your eyes as they rest closed.

“You’re doing so well my love, but you’re putting too much pressure on yourself. Breaks every once in a while will keep you going. So let me help you get all that stress out for a little bit, and then you can recover some of that much-needed rest. By morning I promise you’ll be able to finish your work no problem.” Jaemin insists, running his hands over your sides and slowly starting to slip your shirt up so he can feel your skin.

“Can you really? That would be...magical.” You sigh, relaxing under his touch and he chuckles, stripping your top before getting up to go grab something, “Just how are you going to do that though?”

Jaemin comes back and gently wraps a blindfold around your head, ensuring your eyes really do get a break, before kissing down your exposed chest straight towards where you need him most, “Well beautiful, a magician never reveals his secrets.”

The sweatpants you had worn to at least claim the tiniest level of comfort while pushing your body’s limits quickly got in the way of his progress though. So his hands slowly work to undo them, in no rush as he tries to help you calm down some. Once he’s done with the tie he slips an arm around your waist lifting you enough to shimmy them down your thighs some before gently placing you down on the bed again. Jaemin’s hands gently brush along your thighs as he exposes more and more skin, getting goosebumps to break out even before his lips next meet your skin following behind where his hands oh so gently touch. 

“So beautiful and pliant for me right now, just going to be the best girl.” He praises you already as if his actions weren’t melting you enough as is, pulling your panties down after your sweatpants. Slowly spreading your legs with each gentle caress on your thighs. “I love seeing you like this, do you know that?”

“You tell me that every time, but I love hearing it.” Your voice is breathy as you answer him, unable to deny him even the things he doesn’t ask for, just like how he’s the same way for you. In particular during times like this. 

“Then I guess I’ll have to tell you it even more.” His lips are against your knee as he speaks, trailing kisses along the parts of your inner thigh he knows are more sensitive. Jaemin gets oh so close to where you want him only to skip over it and trail down your other thigh. Your little huff of annoyance doesn’t deter Jaemin however, the man is determined to worship every inch of your legs before he finally kisses your clit, giving in for you. Perhaps his methods had some merit however considering how you had felt the muscles in your legs relax under his actions. Jaemin was not going to stop at all though until every ounce of tension left your body and he was going to start that process by making you cum on his tongue.

[topgun-imagines]

Day 14: I Remember Everything

Pairings: Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell x fem!reader

Synopsis: Both you and Maverick are struggling with the loss of Goose. Based on the Zach Bryan And Kacey Musgraves song ‘I Remember Everything’.

Warnings: Alcoholism, death, tears, bad coping mechanisms, break-ups & feeling of abandonment.

Word count: 1.2k

Ever since your boys went off to Top Gun, you couldn’t wait to see them. So, when family week rolled around, you, along with Carole and Bradley, boarded the plane together. Carole was ecstatic to have her sister-in-law joining her on the flight. It gave her someone to watch Bradley while she snuck in a few hours of shut-eye. You couldn’t wait to see your big brother. However, Goose wasn’t the only one you were excited to see. For the past three years, you and Maverick had been dating.

Throughout their time in Fighter Town, you had heard all about your boyfriend’s rivalry with Iceman. You remembered him from Goose’s time at the academy. You found that he was a lovely person. So lovely, in fact, that you went out with him for the entire time Goose was at the academy. You wouldn’t put his competitive side past him. Even if Maverick was stretching the truth just a little bit. You never imagined that the competition between them would escalate to where it was now. As far as you had been told, it was a healthy, safe competition. Now, however, you wanted to smack both Iceman and your boyfriend upside the head.

Your older brother was the most important person in your life. He had practically raised you. You could vividly remember crying for weeks when he left home for the academy. When Maverick and Goose had first been paired together, you had sat the rebellious pilot down and told him that while Goose trusted him, you weren’t so convinced. In that moment, Maverick promised you that your brother would always return safely to his family. Three months later, Mav took you out on your first date.

Maverick had quickly gained your trust. You soon came to learn that you and your brother were the only family that he had. That only helped to prove the fact that Maverick would sacrifice himself in a heartbeat for either of you. For that, you were immensely grateful.

Given their job, you understood that there was a large risk factor. However, you knew how good of a pilot your boyfriend was. If he had any control over the situation, everything would turn out okay. Even though you trusted him, you knew that sometimes, he didn’t trust himself. When he was up in the air, it was like he was flying against a ghost. You knew exactly whose ghost that was.

Mav had always thought that he was a disappointment, purely because he was his father's son. He had always been told that he would never amount to anything, all because of his last name. You saw how hard he worked to prove them wrong. That was one of the things you loved about him. No matter how many times he got pushed down, he always got back up.

This time, however, was shaping up to be very different than the others. This time, there was no going back.

Before they left for Top Gun, you had told Maverick about your ex. After all, you were pretty sure that he would be there as well. Oh, how right you were. It was just your luck that the two of them would end up going head-to-head for first place. At the beginning, you were thrilled with the idea of Mav and Goose getting to go to Top Gun. Now, you would give anything to keep them from ever getting a chance.

Only a few days after you had arrived for family week, there was a tragic accident. Maverick and Ice were tied for first and you knew that both of them would do whatever they could to win. What you didn’t know was that ‘whatever they could’ would come with a grave cost.

When you had first heard the news, you collapsed. You had lost your brother. The one piece of your family you had left and he was gone. Unsurprisingly, Maverick had turned into a mess. Goose was like the brother that he never had. Regardless of whose fault it was technically, Maverick would never stop blaming himself. Needless to say, Mav wasn’t handling the situation very well. Even Carole seemed to be having a better time coping with the tragic loss of her husband.

While a large part of you felt so sorry for your boyfriend, the other part wished he would open his eyes. He wasn’t the only person that lost somebody. But he was sure acting like he was. Carole had lost a husband. Bradley had lost a father. You had lost a brother. And yet none of that seemed to matter to your grieving boyfriend. To him, he was the only person that lost Goose. He began drinking his troubles away, not a single thought as to what all of this was doing to you.

Now, you were sobbing in the bedroom you shared with Maverick. He hadn’t been at the past few days of training, spending all of his time in the bar. With your boyfriend off god-knows-where, you couldn’t help but miss everything that the two of you used to have. Late nights spent cuddled up on that old ratty couch, Mav whispering sweet nothings in your ear the whole time flooded your mind as you continued to sob.

Goose wasn’t just your boyfriend, he was your best friend. A few days after the accident, the pain had worn off. Now, all you felt was numb. While Maverick had drinking, you had nothing. You had nothing to make that feeling go away. Through your tears, you finally came to a horrible realization. Your loving boyfriend was gone. He died in the same accident that your brother did.

You couldn’t stay with him anymore. Not if it was going to be like this. Was Maverick hurting? Of course he was. But were you also hurting? Yes. In the aftermath of the accident, you had assured Maverick again and again that you were there for him. That you would be the shoulder he could lean on should he need somebody. Instead, he had turned to drinking, leaving you with no shoulder at all.

Sniffling, you wiped your nose on the back of your hand and stood up from the bed on shaky legs. You hadn’t left the bed all day. Picking up the phone, you tried to call the bar where you figured Maverick was. When the bartender picked up and tried to hand the phone to Mav, your boyfriend refused to talk to you. The phone dropped out of your hand as you stared straight ahead. That was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Numbly, you began packing your bags. You had very few clothes, but you threw all of them into a bag with little to no order. Soon enough, your bags were packed and you were slamming the door of Maverick’s base housing. Time seemed to fly as you called a taxi to the airport and bought a ticket home. Sure, Carole and Bradley were still here, but you had no reason to stay. You would have loved to stay for Maverick’s graduation. However, you just couldn’t bring yourself to wait around for someone that was long gone.

a/n: thank you for reading! Join the taglist!

Tagging: @ohtobeleah @xoxabs88xox @oldermenaremyreligion @els-marvelvsp @kmc1989 @nyx2021 @mploopssek @callsignharper @seitmai @scarletmeii @inkandarsenic

[boiohboii]

The Tattoo Sleeve (Neymar jr soulmate au)

Warning: curse words.

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Neymar watched Y/n as she got her lunch out of her bag, it was mashed potatoes with mixed in veggies (looked like sweet pepper and onions) and chicken alongside some fruits and of course her coffee. In the past few days he had been looking over her- although, stalking is a more accurate word- he realised that she drinks an unholy amount of coffee, he watched her pour in two packets of instant coffee in one mug, that was not healthy! She's a doctor, she should know that!

He wasn't quite sure why he kept coming back to the same street of the clinic. The first time he went looking for her there, where he saw the most hilarious situation and she went through the most embarrassing situation, he stayed at a cafe nearby to clear his head from their conversation when he realised that it was midnight and she was still at work. When he finally saw her entering a car along with Doctor Monet the feeling of relief washed over him, at least she wasn't leaving at 1:30 am alone.

At that day, when he want back to his apartment at 2 am, he decided that he wasn't going to be thinking about anything related to his soulmate, he just stayed this one time to check on her and she has her boss to drive her home. There was absolutely no need for him to be worried, he doesn't even want to get to know her so why was he sitting here on a Friday afternoon looking at his soulmate from afar like a goddamn creep?

"This is stupid" Neymar mumbled as he stood up, reaching for his back pocket to get his wallet, leaving his total at the table along with a tip. Anyone passing by could tell that the man in blue puffer jacket and black jeans was in a hurry to leave, his quick movement and the screeching sound of the chair on the cobblestone floor made it clear.

"Oh, fuck off."

Neymar realised that maybe, just maybe, if he had stayed where he was that wouldn't have happened. His chair wouldn't alert everyone with a mile radius of his presence. His chair wouldn't have alerted his soulmate that he was this close to her. However, judging by the whispers that broke out, his soulmate being alerted wasn't the only issue at hand.

"Holy shit, that is Neymar Junior!"

"Do you think I can ask for a picture?"

"He is so much more handsome in real life."

Sighing, Neymar decided to smile at everyone within his sight. His smile made fans approach him, and he was fine with that, whenever he went out he was always ready to meet someone, to take a photo with someone he never saw before, he knew it was always a possibility. It annoys him sometimes, but he tries not to show it too much, he also tries to get the point across that not at anytime anyone can expect a photo with him or a signature from him.

After a few minutes, he had taken 4 photos and signed 3 shirts along with making small talk with everyone around. Now that everyone had been back in their seat, and it looked like everything was normal, Neymar looked to his right, seeing Y/n still there on her phone, not paying him any attention.

Frowning, Neymar started walking towards her without realising. He wasn't ready to have a soulmate, at least that's what he told himself, but he also wanted to know her, he wanted to see her smile, he wanted to hold her in his arms and hear her laugh. It was messing with him, he couldn't sort out his feeling, he couldn't stop and think about what he truly wanted and his actions showed it.

"Ummm, hello?" Y/n questioned as she looked up from her phone.

"Can we talk?"

"Didn't we do that already," y/n raised her eyebrows as she started recalling the conversation they had last week. "You said you didn't want to be with your soulmate, which is me, so I have no idea what you want from me right now."

"To be honest, I don't either."

There was a bitter taste on his tongue as he admitted that, he was confused and unsure of what he was doing or where anything that is currently happening would lead him, but he wanted to be there right now. That's all he knew, he wanted to be beside her and talk to her even if he didn't want a soulmate.

"Okay, listen," Y/n started "I don't know what you want, hell even you don't know what you want. So please, I am begging you do not come here and expect me to treat you all nice!"

"I thought you wanted to be with me."

"What?" Y/n asked, she hoped to anyone that would listen that her thoughts are wrong, she is just seeing the worst in him.

"Last time you said you want to be with your soulmate."

"Yeah, and that soulmate doesn't want me. You told me that! You made it clear!"

"It's just, right now I feel like I want to be with you and it's confusing me too!"

"Right now," Y/n blinked, "right now? What! Do you expect me to welcome you whenever you feel like it? What about my feelings!

Please, I am begging you, sort out your feelings and then we can talk"

Hearing the crack in her voice, Neymar felt ashamed. She was right, he couldn't just expect her to be okay with his every whim. He knows better than to do that, than to act as if he is the only person that's life will be affected by a soulmate in it.

"Hey man." Neymar greeted as he buckled his seatbelt. "Can I come over, I really messed up."

!ENEWS!

Breaking news: Neymar Jr's new girl?

Yesterday, around 5pm, the famous football player was seen with a new girl, it seemed like they were arguing according to our source. Could it be that the Brazilian player had someone this whole time? Or could there be a new love story that's about to happen?

I'm finally done with my finals!! I hope you liked it, would love to know what you all think!

Thank you for reading 💖💖💖

Taglist: @itzz-me-duh @mrs-bellingham @watersquirtpewpewboomm @ayathehater @naymersgf @angel-hyuckie @kulangngsabon @lovefks @ravenqueen27 @slytherisstuff @madelyn-grace4 @chaeryeongstuff @ateandleftnocrumbs @p1nkliquor @green--beanie

[edfairyy]

3rd of april, 21:55

a new beginning <3

i am ready to put my foot down and put in the hard work after regaining 7kg of my wl from october-feb within a matter of a month. i got myself into this situation, i’m the only one who can get myself out of it.

i have to lose 16kg and reach around 50kg by july. i’ll do anything.

i’ve made nothing but excuses the past few months. “i can’t starve like i used to” or “ill start tweaking without breakfast or lunch” are little lies i used to tell myself to give myself an excuse to eat, but i will no longer believe those lies. i CAN starve for days on end and i CAN go without an extra 2 meals a day. i CAN control what i eat.

i’m going to start completely fresh, i will no longer hold onto my old identity of a chronic binge eater or bmi 25 chubby girl. if i believe im gonna binge then im gonna do it, but if i leave all that behind it will never come to mind anymore. binging? what’s that? i only know starving.

i am a NEW girl with a skinny mindset, starting at 66kg with a goal of 50kg and a need to meet it NO MATTER WHAT. I HAVE CONTROL.

to myself:

YOU NOT NEED TO EAT. your body has AT LEAST 80,000 calories of fat to burn instead of food.

eat small stay small.

follow your plan, not your feelings.

imagine you stick to this now.

april 4th.

in a week, april 11th: you’ll be building back your habit of skipping meals, regularly fasting, and gaining back control of your life and what you eat.

in 2 weeks, april 18th: you’ll finally feel it again, the euphoria of starving, avoiding food and watching the scale go down at a minimum of 1kg a week. you’ll be in a new honeymoon phase, and nothing can break your discipline and dedication.

in a month, may 1st: you’ll finally SEE your hard work, not just FEEL how much lighter you’ve noticed yourself become, slightly less fat - nearly at your lowest weight, hopefully around 60kg.

🌟 in 2 months, at the start of june, when the summer heat finally comes and you’re finally past your lowest weight of 60kg and instead at 55kg, you’ll be able to wear bikinis without insane guilt or shame, hopefully slightly toned as well. you won’t be sweating like the pig you used to be last summer. you still may not be the thinnest one around you BUT you’ll finally be NORMAL. that’s all you’ve ever wanted. to not be the chubby one, or the one sucking in your stomach because of your gluttony. you’ll be at an average weight, somewhere where you’re considered “healthy” and people won’t worry about you and you won’t worry about feeling like everyone is staring at your chubby legs or fat rolls on your stomach. you’ve wanted this for years, and you’ll finally have it. you may not reach 50kg as you hoped but -10kg in less than 2 months is an achievement in its own, more realistic, and more maintainable anyway🌟

in 3 months, the start of july: when you’ve been living off fresh fruit and low cal popsicles to bare the heat of june you’ll hopefully almost be at 50kg in time for your 3 week holiday this month. all your dedication will lead to this moment. a goal you’ve been working towards since april. your family seeing you and you’ve lost 20kg in total since last year! imagine being able to say you lost 16kg of that in 3 months and kept it off - unlike your yo-yo effect of losing 10kg in 6 months and gaining most of it all back like a fatty! you’ll inevitably gain a kg or two during it, but you can always lose that once you’re back home.

in 4 months, at the start of august: you’ll finally be home from your holiday and after eating a normal amount for 3 weeks you’ll be able to slowly lose down to your ugw again with an increased intake. it may take longer than a month, but it’ll help you maintain it in the long run, and you can finally recover. 💗

come back to this any time you feel like giving up, none if this will become reality if you don’t put the work in.

♡

[queenofbaws]

I'm interested in the continuation of the double date jossam and lauramax 👀

catch me catching up on prompts ;)c (and check out where this one started!)

He knew it was going to be a problem the moment he spotted it.

Had Sam seen it? That, he couldn't say. Not with any certainty. But the fact that he'd seen it felt serendipitous. Fated. Like by the sheer happenstance of him spotting it, the numbers were suddenly in her favor; observer effect, baby, now that he'd beheld that crappy sign, the crappy sign would make itself more apparent, and Sam would -

"Oooh, you guys wanna win a goldfish?"

Josh took another bite of his candied apple, wondering if Brinly had the first idea what can of worms he'd just popped open. Probably not. Either way, this was going to be entertaining to watch. "Hell yeah," he said, wiping a smear of juice from the corner of his mouth. "Let's win some goldfish."

Ah, and there it was. He watched the expression on Sam's face morph the closer they got to the stall, her displeasure deepening with each fishbowl she counted, the corners of her mouth turning down at the sight of foggy water. "I can't believe this sort of stuff is still allowed! I mean...look at those poor little guys! Those bowls aren't big enough for them! And you know they're not getting the food they need, and, what, so if we win they just...throw them in a ziplock baggie and hand them to us like 'Here you go?' That's not healthy for fish!"

"Yeah, but, I mean...c'mon, Sam, we used to get fish from fairs all the time, growing up! They don't live past a week anyway, so - "

"They don't live past a week, Max, because they're forced to live in inhumane conditions! What if you had to live in a cramped little space with only the tiniest amount of food to get by?"

"You mean like...a...dorm room?"

"No! I - "

There was a quiet rustle as Laura handed the guy working the booth a couple bills. "Know what I think?" she asked, holding her hands out for the ping pong balls she'd paid for. "I think if you're serious about giving these scaly little guys a better life, you, uh - " she tossed one of the balls then, a neat overhand arc, and it plopped squarely into a fishbowl near the middle, " - should put your money where your mouth is."

Sam glanced his way, her surprise evident...and then she nodded, also handing the guy working the stall a few dollars. "All right. You're on."

He crunched down on his apple again, nudging Max with his elbow. "Hope you're happy, man," he said through a mouthful of sugar, "now we're gonna be here all night. And we're probably gonna have to invest in a kiddie pool."

[neonthewrite]

Orange You Glad

(I can't think of another title now that that one's in my head, sorry not sorry)

Day 5 of GT July is "Caught" and well, I'm back with Borrower!Chase. It was only a matter of time, honestly. Hope you enjoy reading how Caught might apply to the tiny king of impulsive idiots.

Forbidden Fruit Snacks | Fried Potatoes | Minnie’s Supply Run | Nailed It

~~~

Chase’s failure to secure snacks on the counter was two days ago. In that time, he and Minnie had managed one supply run to the cabinets, specifically the ones over the fridge where the human kept things like rice and oats and other long-lasting bulk items. Essentials, certainly, but quite safe and worst of all, plain. There was no glory, no finesse to those ones.

Minnie always pointed out that they didn’t need anything fancy, and they didn’t need some daring story to come with every supply run. But lately she said it with a faint smirk and a subtle nod to the spoils of her most recent escapades on her own, the chocolate caramel that Chase knew had come with some kind of intense adventure she refused to tell him. The trouble with the two of them living in secret was that no one else could witness their shenanigans. So whatever they got up to on their own stayed with them unless they deigned to talk about it. Minnie never wanted to share her adventures, no matter how Chase tried to wear down her resolve.

To that end, he was back in the kitchen with the aim to outdo her. Not knowing what exactly she’d done, he simply aimed big and would go from there. Chase Lisong could not let his baby sister outmaneuver him.

Some fresh produce ought to quiet her down for a while. At least, that’s what he told himself as he surveyed the plastic mesh bag of tangerines pushed against the back of the counter near the fridge. Their resident human didn’t bring those home very often, but with the warmer weather outside they would be a refreshing change of pace. The air conditioning wasn’t designed to cool their home in the walls, and things could get stuffy in there.

Chase’s only roadblock now was to get one of the darn things into the walls. They’d be able to fit into his door behind the toaster (he was about 80 percent sure). Their round shape would make them easy to move, no matter that most of them came up to his chest.

He hadn’t accounted for one thing, though. The mesh bag. It didn’t have an opening like most other bags; it was stapled over with a brightly colored flap of plastic with the branding and nutrition labels on it. The human hadn’t opened up the bag yet, which usually meant something was entirely off limits to them. They couldn’t risk him suspecting anything. But if Chase could figure out how to undo just one of those staples, well, it would simply look like the bag had torn.

 No suspicion, plenty of risk, and an incredibly good reward. It was the perfect mission. “Top that, baby sister,” he muttered as he strode over to the stapled part of the bag.

Their human was out for the day. He had a pretty good routine during the week. He had work, or maybe classes, that kept him out of the house all morning and into part of the afternoon. There was so much time to make this happen, and Chase dove into the task with a healthy amount of optimism.

~~~

“Come on, you stupid…!” Chase muttered, straining at the mesh. He’d managed to free a couple inches or so from the stapled plastic flap. His hands ached from tugging on the thin plastic for so long, but he was so close. One more bit of that grid free of the staple and he’d probably be able to get one of those stupid oranges out.

“Eyes on the prize. Eyes on the prize.”

A bit more of the mesh slipped free, and Chase pumped both fists in the air. He wasn’t done with his task by half, but he couldn’t help the relief of getting past the hard part. Chase massaged his palms with his thumbs, but even that soreness couldn’t dampen his spirits.

Moments later, he ducked a bit to clamber into the mesh, watching his steps so as not to tangle his feet. Once he was in among the oranges, he scanned the pile for the smallest one he could easily see. They didn’t need too much, and besides he wanted to make the next task as easy as he could on himself.

The modest pile of fruit, altogether, was bigger than their house in the walls. Chase spotted one about halfway up the pile that could only be two inches across. Quite big to him still, but definitely simple enough to move, and an easy climb besides. Even with the mesh bag restricting some of his movement, he scrambled up to it fairly easily.

Giving it a shove, Chase discovered that it wasn’t as easy to move as he anticipated. He and Minnie had found themselves with a lot more strength than they’d ever expected relative to their size. If they were still human, they’d definitely be able to push furniture around a lot easier than anyone might expect out of a pair of petite siblings. Moving the oranges around shouldn’t be an issue.

This one was a little more stuck among its fellows than Chase anticipated. After setting his sights on it, though, he wasn’t about to take no for an answer. “Come on, Chase,” he muttered to himself. “Minnie’s face, shocked at your audacity. You can manage that.”

He gave the orange another shove, and it shifted. One shove more and it was free of the pile, spilling right towards the opening he’d worked so hard to make. It’d be perfect if it didn’t also come with a small avalanche of oranges that Chase couldn’t quite dodge. With a yelp, Chase tumbled to the countertop, plastic mesh beneath him and the inexorable weight of several tangerines on top of him. He could barely push himself up on his arms to survey the situation.

This sucked. It didn’t hurt, but Chase couldn’t really move. In front of him, the red mesh taunted him with how close he was to freedom. He glared at the orange he’d pushed free as if it had personally betrayed him rather than the simple force of gravity collecting on his hubris.

And then, just when Chase was about to think to himself that it could be worse, the apartment door opened.

“You gotta be shitting me,” Chase grumbled as the undeniable sound of their human coming home echoed from just the other room. Keys clattered onto the side table. A plastic bag of something dropped to the floor. The lock slid shut. All normal sounds that Chase did not want to hear while he was trapped in a mesh bag under a bunch of oranges.

He squirmed with renewed energy, shifting his legs to free them from under the fruit. He didn’t have a lot of time. Glancing back, he managed to maneuver himself in a way to get mostly unstuck. He wriggled free, tiny inch by tiny inch, until his back was pressed into the mesh and his legs were no longer weighed down at last.

Hell yeah! He thought to himself. With that optimistic thought ringing in his head, he glanced over his shoulder.

And found a tall human standing in the kitchen doorway, staring right at him.

[sunshinejeonglixie]

Only You

tags: sfw, gender neutral reader, !!eating disorder!!, sad but comfort (if that even makes sense, like its sad but changbin makes it better), supportive helpful bf changbin

description: reader struggles with an eating disorder after comparing themselves to the other idols changbin is around all the time, he comes in and takes care of them and gets them back into a more positive mindset and healthier habits

a/n: i'd been thinking recently about how much i love changbin & his health positivity and how much he preaches a "take care of yourself don't worry about the amount of food" kind of mindset and i just love it so much so then this idea came to mind. anyways, y'all please take care of yourselves please know that your health is so much more important than any number, any looks, anything & you are so loved just the way you are.

!!Everything written here is fiction, not meant to be taken as real life, if anything here makes you uncomfortable please just block & move on!!

“Only down 4 more pounds?” you whisper to yourself, staring at the scale in front of you.

Every week you check, and every week there is more disappointment.

Over the past 2 months you’ve lost about 5 or 6 pounds a week, trying more and more to get that number to go up. You’d wanted it to be more, trying more to get past a certain mark. Only having one light meal each day and working out more than you should. Is it a healthy thing? No, and you know that. But it’s what needs to be done in your mind.

This habit started after you went to music shows with your boyfriend, Changbin, more often recently. You’d seen some of the other idols, admired them, saw how everyone loved them and chased after them. Consistently complimented their bodies and their looks. You’re not sure why it got to you so much, it’s not like anyone said anything bad to you, you just wanted people to see you that way too. Maybe if you lost weight, they would look at you like that, treat you that way too, you thought.

You decided from that point you’d cut down on the amount of food you eat and increase time at the gym with Changbin. You’d already been going with him pretty regularly, so the increase wasn’t too suspicious or anything. The difficult part was hiding the fact you weren’t eating more than a small meal each day. Changbin was very attentive, especially with food. Always trying to get you to try new things, share his food with you, and make sure you were well taken care of.

You’d been able to brush him off a bit, which you felt a bit bad about if you’re being honest, and just convince him you were already full or didn’t want to try what he was offering. You’d hoped he wasn’t catching on, but you started to wonder if maybe he noticed more than he let on. When you’d have food together he always started by trying to feed you first, trying to get you to have a little more, things like that.

Your secrets and plans all came crashing down in one day. It started in the morning with you going over to the dorms to hang out with the members, at this point they weren’t just his friends they were yours too. Lee Know had made a special breakfast and immediately brought you some to try. The look on his face when you told him you didn’t want any definitely made your heart sting a bit, he always showed his love through providing for others so when his friend didn’t want any it hurt him a bit, even if he tried to hide it.

“Changbin already headed off to the gym y/n” I.N says through a mouthful of food.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full” Lee Know scolds.

“Thanks Innie, I was actually coming here to hang out with you guys though.” You smile.

“ooo, come with us to dance today?” Felix asks.

“I don’t have any dance clothes with me. I’ll watch though!” you explain, trying to make any excuse to get out of it just in case it could reveal any of your bad habits.

“You can borrow some of mine if you want.” Felix smiles at you, always a helper.

“Oh… yeah alright I’ll go then.” You start to become nervous, damn Felix and his consistently helpful nature.

They all smile, glad to have an extra friend coming with them today. You can’t help but become a bit nervous though, show any signs of weakness or any of the habits you’ve created, and they’ll all know.

After everyone is done with breakfast you all get ready for dance and head off to the company. You in some shorts of yours you found in Changbin’s room and one of Felix’s T-shirts he let you borrow.

Once you get to the company some of the other members meet you there, all of them except Changbin and Chan are there, they were running late after finishing at the gym.

You all started warming up, stretching so there wouldn’t be any injuries. Lee Know decides they’ll just start without Changbin and Chan for a bit and they can catch up later. They ask you to fill in one of the spots since you know almost every Stray Kids choreography.

Everything is going fine for a bit, you’re tired and it’s hard since you’ve not eaten anything to keep your energy up today but it’s fine. You can work through it you think.

That is until you start to get a fuzzy feeling, the room starts to spin. You try to step to the side and sit down but it’s too late. You pass out and hit the ground, hard.

Of course, everyone immediately becomes super concerned. Lee Know stopping practice and taking charge, telling Felix to find out where Changbin is and having I.N run downstairs to the medical office in the company.

You’re not out for long, 5 minutes maybe, but that feels like an eternity to the panicked boys.

As soon as you start to wake up you see the JYP nurse sitting on one side of you, Lee Know on the other, and Felix running back in with Changbin and Chan directly behind him.

“Hyung what happened?” Changbin asks Lee Know

“We were doing dance practice and they just dropped, we’re not sure.” Lee Know explains, moving out of the way for Changbin to take his spot sitting next to you.

“Baby what happened? Are you ok?” Changbin takes your hand, almost in tears with worry.

All of it is very overwhelming. Your whole body filled with panic, knowing that you’ll have to explain something and that all your unhealthy habits will be revealed. Everyone is watching you with concern, not sure how to respond to anything.

“All your vitals are ok, have you had anything to eat within the past 24 hours?” the nurse asks.

“Um…” you hesitate, knowing you need to tell the truth, but at the same time ashamed of the truth.

“No. I haven’t.” you stare at the floor, not willing to look at anyone around you, feeling they’re all going to be disappointed.

“I imagine that’s the problem then. Have a good meal, get some rest, and you should be ok. Don’t do any more intense physical activity without proper amounts of food and water.” The nurse scolds before packing up her things and tells you to come visit her if you have any more issues.

You nod, tears filling your eyes, no words to explain the feelings going through your body right now.

“Nothing in the past 24 hours?” Changbin whispers

You can’t bear to listen to his disappointment. Before anyone can react you push yourself off the floor and walk out the door.

Back in the practice room everyone has different levels of shock and confusion. No one knows how to react until Lee Know speaks up.

“Well go talk to them, aren’t you going to?” He looks at Changbin.

“Yeah, right, of course I am.” Changbin stands up, following Lee Know’s instructions, as if he hadn’t even had a full thought until Lee Know said that.

Changbin walks out of the practice room, walking down the hall to find you sitting at the top of the stairs, crying.

“I know you’re mad, you don’t have to tell me.” You say before he can even get a word out.

“I’m not mad.” He says while sitting down next to you and grabbing your hand.

“Yes you are, I made a stupid decision and got myself hurt because of it. You have every right to be mad.”

“I’m not mad.” He repeats before continuing.

“I’m concerned as hell, but I’m not mad.”

“You should be mad.” You say through more tears.

“No. I shouldn’t be, and I’m not.” Changbin says, trying not to cry just from seeing you struggle.

“y/n when was the last time you had a meal? A real full meal?”

“Tuesday evening when we had dinner together.” You mutter, almost quiet enough he’s not sure he heard correctly.

“Baby it’s Thursday morning. Have you had any sort of snacks or anything since then?” he asks, growing more and more worried.

“I had a piece of toast yesterday morning.”

Changbin is speechless, trying to find the right words.

“We need to get you something to eat baby.” He says, standing up.

You nod, knowing he’s right but still too nervous to look at him.

“Lee Know always keep snacks in his backpack, I could get those from him and then come back and we can talk more before we go get lunch?” He asks.

You shake your head; you don’t need everyone to know everything yet.

“I can’t tell them… they’ll be mad too.” You whisper.

“Baby I won’t tell them anything you don’t want them to know. They won’t be mad at you, just like I’m not mad at you. We’re all just worried.”

“I wanna go home.” You cry, grabbing his hand to pull him back next to you.

“Ok, we can go home. I’ll take you home, we can order some lunch to be delivered, and we’ll talk.” Changbin says, wrapping his arms around you.

He picks you up off the floor, holding you in his arms before setting you back on your feet.

“I’ll go get our stuff and then we can go, yeah?” He asks.

You nod and let him go to walk back to the practice room.

Once he walks back into the practice room, he’s met with a mixture of many different things. Questions, worries, and even some tears from a worried Hyunjin.

“Is everything ok?” Felix asks.

“I’m working on it; I’m just coming to get our stuff and then we’re going home for the day.” He explains.

“We’ll keep working here, we’ll stay out of the dorm for a while so you can talk.” Chan says.

“Thanks, hyung, coming back around dinner time is fine.”

He takes both of your guys’ bags and heads back out to you, grabbing your hand and taking you home.

The walk home is hard, both mentally and physically. The exhaustion is still getting to you and mentally your brain won’t stop moving. Once you guys get back to the dorms Changbin leaves your stuff in his room and brings you to sit at the table, quickly ordering food to be delivered.

“How long have you been doing this?” Changbin asks.

“A bit over 2 months…” you admit, no point in lying to him about it now.

Changbin’s heart shatters into a million pieces at this point, his baby has been feeling this way and not taking care of themselves all this time and he didn’t know.

“I’d noticed you’d lost weight, but I thought it was just because you’d been coming to the gym with me so much.” He says, his voice filled with guilt.

“Binnie you couldn’t have noticed.”

“What changed? What made you start feeling this way?”

This question brings more tears, knowing you’re going to have to tell him the truth and confess all the terrible thoughts you’ve been having is hard.

“When I went to the music shows with you, I saw everyone there and how good they looked and how much everyone complimented them… I figured if I lost weight, looked like them, maybe I’d be better for you. People would look at me like that too.” You confess.

“But you’re so beautiful baby, you don’t need to be like them. Especially not for me. I chose you; I didn’t choose them. I chose you because I want you exactly as you are.” He comforts.

“But you’re so perfect Binnie, and I’m just-“ you start before he cuts you off.

“Don’t you dare say anything negative. You’re absolutely beautiful and amazing and I love you so much. I’m not perfect, no one is, but that’s ok. I don’t need you to be perfect I need you to be healthy and safe, I need you to be you.” He says before pulling you from your seat at the table into his lap in his seat.

Instinctively you hold yourself up a bit, not relaxing all your body onto him. He immediately notices this and pulls you closer before speaking.

“Relax, don’t hold your weight off of me, you’re so gorgeous.”

“I’m too heavy Bin” you mumble.

“No, you are not, I lift more than this in the gym every day.”

“I was gaining too much before.”

“Baby no you were not, you were gaining whatever your body needed. Healthy bodies aren’t always tiny and that’s ok. That’s still beautiful.”

His words really do bring lots of comfort, even if you don’t fully believe him yet. Finally, you hear a knock at the door and the food is delivered.

“Let me make your plate for you please.” He asks, and you nod. Knowing it’s probably for the best.

He sets a plate down in front of you, not an overwhelming amount of food, but enough.

“When you’re finished with that if you’re still hungry there’s more.” He says

“Thank you Binnie.”

“Anything for my baby.”

After you guys eat, and he very closely monitors all that you ate, you guys decide to watch a movie to take your minds off the stress of the day.

Once the movie is over he tells you that you guys need to create a plan. One day of talking isn’t the end of this and you both know it.

“I want you to stay here for a while.” he asks, wanting to be able to keep an eye on you when needed.

“Binnie this is so much farther from work I can’t walk all that way.” You remind him.

“You can take my car; I’ll walk to work or take Lee Know’s car when I need it.”

“Alright. I’ll need to get a lot of stuff from my apartment if I’m gonna be here a while.”

“That’s fine, I’ll make space in my closet, and we can go pick stuff up tonight.” He agrees before continuing.

“I don’t want you eating by yourself for a bit.”

“Binnie I can eat a meal by myself.” You say.

“Love, please, just for some peace of mind. I want you to eat with me, the members, your family, your friends, someone just for a while. I need to make sure you’re actually eating.”

You understand where he’s coming from, agreeing that it’s probably a good idea.

“Anything else?” You ask.

“Not at the moment, if I think of something else I’ll come to you.” He says.

“I appreciate your concern Binnie.”

“I just love you so much baby I have to take care of you.”

Later that evening the rest of the members return from the JYP building, by that point you’d fallen asleep in Changbin’s room, exhausted from the day’s events.

Changbin walks out to greet the members, asking what they got done during dance practice.

“Absolutely nothing.” Lee know says with a slight irritation in his voice

“Where’s y/n?” Felix asks Changbin.

“In my room sleeping.”

“Are they ok?” Hyunjin asks, stress still in his face.

“They’re fine, we’ll talk about it later. Why didn’t you guys get any work done?”

“Why do you think?” Chan laughs

“You guys didn’t have to spend the whole day stressing I have it under control” Changbin is thankful they worry about you like he does but also worried they didn’t get any work done all day.

“I tried telling them that but apparently I ‘don’t know shit’ according to Han & Felix” Lee Know says with an eye roll.

“Hyunggg we said we were sorry for saying that” Felix whines.

“Yeahhh we were just worried we didn’t mean it.” Han agrees.

“Whatever I’m not really offended but don’t you people think that if something was a major emergency that Changbin couldn’t handle he would ask for our help??” Lee Know says, sounding like this is a point he’s made about a thousand times today.

“Let it go. We’ll get stuff done tomorrow.” Chan says before anyone can reply to Lee Know.

Slowly you wake up after hearing the voices in the living room, worried about what everyone has to say, but glad they’re home. You’d felt a little bad basically kicking them out of their house for the day. You decide to just get it over with and head out there, any questions you can’t answer or anything that becomes too overwhelming can be taken on by Changbin. He’d already promised he’d help you talk to them.

As soon as you walk out the bedroom door you’re met with smiles and hellos from everyone.

“Hi baby, did you sleep well?” Changbin asks, coming over to hug you.

“mhm, your bed is so comfy.”

The silence from everyone is a bit awkward for a second, no one knows quite what to say until Lee Know walks into the kitchen to do dishes which seem to unfreeze everyone, and they all move to do their own things.

The next couple days are slightly stressful, having to explain what happened to everyone and Changbin recruiting them to what he calls the “y/n protection squad”. When you asked what he was protecting you from he responded very seriously with “your brain” which made you giggle.

There’s always someone there with you when you have a meal, even if you both just eat next to each other while you do separate things, there’s always someone making sure you actually eat the meal. It’s not easy at first, getting back to eating more than one meal a day is a slow process, so your body doesn’t react too weirdly to it. The first day you ate more than 2 meals a day you got a stomachache for the rest of the day, so you’ve decided it’s gonna be a slower process.

It's also a difficult process because of the stress and anxiety you still feel eating “so much” even though it’s a healthy amount. Changbin has forbidden use of the scale for a while, just to keep your mind off the numbers and back on the health side of it.

“Numbers on a scale have nothing to do with how you feel or what your body needs” he reminds you when you think of weighing yourself again.

It’s nearly a year before your eating habits are more stable and healthier again, and even at that point you can still have some rocky moments. Over that year you’ve gone back to those bad habits twice, always saved and pulled back by Changbin and the other members. You still eat with someone else for about 95% of your meals, not because Changbin tells you to anymore but because he was right, it really does bring you comfort and help you finish a meal without panicking too much about it.

One of the biggest struggles came when they had another comeback, and you went back to the music shows with them. Changbin told you he’d understand if you didn’t want to go but that you were more than welcome to come. Seeing some of the other idols talking about their diets and how much they’ve lost really sent you into a bit of a panic.

You’d walked back to the Stray Kids dressing room in tears, just looking for anyone to try and pull you out. You found the whole group there, immediately you grabbed on to Changbin, explaining what had happened.

“Honey don’t worry about them and what they’re doing, ok? You do what’s healthy for you and your body. You’re so gorgeous and beautiful and I’m so proud of how hard you’re working to take care of yourself.”

“Why are you with me when you could have any of them? They’re better, prettier, smarter-“ you start to ramble before Changbin cuts you off.

“I don’t want any of them. I want you. Only you. You are special, I love you because of who you are. I don’t want you to be like them, if I wanted someone like them I’d find them. I found you because I want you.” He says before continuing.

“And for the record I think you’re the most gorgeous smartest best person in the world so don’t you dare say they’re better than you.”

He holds you close running a hand up and down your back. His words are comforting and reassuring. It makes you realize that he’s right, there’s a reason he chose you and not anyone else.

“Thank you Binnie, I love you” you say, hiding your face in his chest. Slightly embarrassed to let your insecurities get the best of you in front of everyone.

“There’s no reason to thank me baby, I will tell you these things every day until my last breath if it’s what you need to understand that I love you and you’re perfect the way you are.”

“I don’t mean to interrupt but we gotta get going soon.” Chan says before everyone starts to grab their stuff from around the room.

Once everyone is packed up and ready to go you all head out to vans to go back to the dorms. The whole ride home you just think about how loved you feel. Not just by Changbin but by all the members, of course their love is in a different way than Changbin’s but it’s still love. The amount of time, energy, and effort they’ve put into helping you all this time makes you feel so good. It’s a long road to being ok, and it’s ok to not be ok, just knowing you can ask for help and that they’ll be here to catch you when you fall is enough.

[originallandlockedmariner]

This is for me.

I need to remind myself that we all wander off the path. It’s ok. Just be aware and get back on it.

I wrote this awhile ago. Time to read it again...

“M.A.K.E. your goals a reality this year."

Usually by the 3rd or 4th week of January the gym crowd thins, the desire to adhere to resolutions made wanes and, for a good many of us, the wheels completely fall off. Staying accountable is vital to growth, to progress and, if nothing else, the secret to any amount of success. Whether you use vision boards, journals, tape quotes to your bathroom mirror, or post ‘before’ pictures on your Socials, staying focused is key. Personally, I struggle to remember anything past 4 or 5 ‘rules’, welcome to being 50+ I guess, so the acronym M.A.K.E. is a simple way to help hold myself accountable to my goals.

M is for Mindset. For any progress to happen, you first need to get your head right. Know why you’re doing this not just the ‘what and how’ of it. If you don't have a concrete reason, then you probably won't stick to it since it's not that important to you, and when the going gets tough, you'll likely quit. Why invest and make sacrifices for something that you don't see a lot of value in?

A is for Accountability partner. Having someone in your corner, someone to remind you to stay on track, or workout with, do food prep with, discuss disappointments and triumphs with, makes it feel like you aren’t wallowing alone. The key is finding someone reliable and truly committed, besides - guilt goes a long way. No one really succeeds by themselves. This can include mutuals online as well, especially anyone on the same journey as you.

K stands for Knowledge. Knowing more about your personal goals will help strengthen your "why". By reading blogs, books, watching documentaries, and talking to your friends and/or experts that care just as much about being healthy as you do, enables you to gather insight. You slowly learn to make a conscious effort to better your life.

And E, Evaluate. Take stock of what works for you, the improvements you’ve made, the setbacks, listen to your body, assess workouts and your diet. Record all of it. Revisit it and change accordingly. Alter anything that isn’t help you move forward. Be trenchantly honest with yourself. If bad habits are interfering with your goals, then only you can do something about it.

So here’s to a wonderful adventurous goal-crushing journey !!

[whentherewerebicycles]

processing some weight gain stuff under the cut

okay. in 18 weeks of pregnancy I have gained 15 pounds, which according to the guidelines I was given is a LOT more than I’m supposed to have gained at this stage. based on my starting weight I am only supposed to gain 15-25 lbs total across the entire pregnancy, which idk people seem to be mixed on whether that’s actually realistic but that is what the doctor says. in the last two weeks I went up 4 lbs, and that was with a terrible cold that totally killed my appetite and made it very easy to not indulge in holiday food (I couldn’t taste anything). I am exercising a little less (30-45 min daily walks instead of 45-75) but not like, SO much less yknow? and I have also been tracking my caloric intake on an app to make sure I’m not going over (although I think my real motivation there is if a doctor gives me a hard time about weight gain I’m going to be like yeah well here’s 15+ weeks of data on my eating habits so you tell ME what’s going on).

the point is that based on a calories in calories out model I shouldn’t be gaining this much weight this fast but I am. that’s just what seems to be happening! so I think I just have to LET GO and accept that my body is going to do whatever it thinks is best to support the pregnancy. I can still make good choices but I need to decouple the choices from the outcomes. or like, I need to accept that my good choices will produce good outcomes (I’ll be eating nourishing food and moving my body regularly!) but those outcomes will probably not include weight loss or a slowing of weight gain. here is what I will continue doing:

meal plan every week—I might want to start thinking about meal planning snacks too esp as I am feeling hungrier during the day

eat lots of fruits and vegetables every day

eat very limited amounts of processed foods and watch out for added sugars

walk briskly for 30-45 min a day

go to this hourlong weights class at least 2x a week (ideally 3x) and tack on 20-25 min of cardio on the bike after

I could also try going to the gym more often to do low-impact cardio—like trying to work in a couple days a week where I do 45 min on the elliptical while watching an episode of TV. I do find that in the past doing a lot of that mindless low effort activity seems to help with weight maintenance and is pretty easy to sustain because I’m just like, as long as I’m moving it counts! I don’t have to be pushing myself super hard! this is probably most doable for me on the weekends (and if I’m at the gym already it increases the chances that I might decide to run too).

ok so here’s a rough plan:

sat & sun: walk dogs (30-45 min x 2) + try to do 30 min x 2 of extra cardio while watching TV at the gym (or when liz is feeling better I can see if she wants to go together or do pregnancy workout videos)

mon & tues: weights class one of those days depending on work schedule + 20 min extra cardio one day + 30-45 min walk both days

wed: 30-45 min walk

thurs: this is my busy/long day with work stuff and rehearsal, but I can usually squeeze in a 20 min dog walk and could try parking far away and walking into work on days when it isn’t raining to get another 20+ min in

fri: weights class + 30-45 min walk

and I gotta remember I can make the walks less boring by 1) driving to a random neighborhood and walking from there and 2) talking to friends on the phone instead of just listening to stuff.

OKAY. the takeaway is: I DO NOT NEED TO FEEL GUILT OR SHAME ABOUT THE FACT THAT I AM PUTTING ON A LOT OF WEIGHT. I AM FOUR AND A HALF MONTHS PREGNANT! THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT MY BODY IS SUPPOSED TO BE DOING! I ALSO REFUSE TO LET DOCTORS OR THE INTERNET MAKE ME FEEL GUILTY ABOUT MY WEIGHT, BECAUSE I KNOW I AM MAKING HEALTHY CHOICES THAT ARE GOOD FOR MY BODY, MY BABY, AND MY MENTAL HEALTH. I ALSO WANT TO GENTLY DECOUPLE GOOD/HEALTHY CHOICES FROM SPECIFIC OUTCOMES. EATING WELL AND STAYING ACTIVE THROUGH MY PREGNANCY MAY NOT KEEP ME FROM GAINING “EXCESS” WEIGHT. BUT IT WILL MAKE ME FEEL BETTER IN MY BODY/SELF. IT WILL ENSURE THAT MY BABY IS GETTING LOTS OF GOOD NUTRIENTS. IT WILL HELP ME SLEEP BETTER AND FOCUS MORE AT WORK. IT WILL HOPEFULLY MAKE LABOR AND RECOVERY A LITTLE BIT EASIER TOO! I AM DOING ALL THE RIGHT THINGS AND IT IS OKAY THAT MY BODY IS NOT CONFORMING TO THE PRESCRIBED NORM. I TRUST MY BODY AND ASSUME IT HAS ITS REASONS!!!!!!!!!!!