i have waited
(crowley pov poem - warning for suggestive content!)
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I have waited for you, angel
As woman, as man
As both, sometimes
Red-lipped and hard as anything
Or a drag of lace under gathered breeches
Dew-flecked with my cloudbursts of want
I have waited as neither, a blank page
Fluttering in the breeze from the open window
While you dip your pen in your inkwell
I have waited for you, angel
As a young girl shuns the sunshine of an August afternoon
To sit by the phone until it rings three times
Or, indeed, until darkness falls at last
I have waited for you like an old man
Longing for a death which refuses to come
He sits on park benches and wonders
How he must endure the commotion of life
Just when his soul has found quiet
I have waited for you, angel
As an ocean wave
Which suddenly knows it shall dissolve into foam
Crashes harder than intended on the sand at the prospect of it
I have waited for you
In taverns, coffee houses, glittering ballrooms
In bookshops, in bookshops, in bookshops
On faded rugs and felt-covered armchairs
I have waited with the patience required to finish a Tolstoy
And the hunger that stabs as one devours a great mystery
I have waited for you, angel
Under the stars on a clear night
Thighs trembling around my own crooked fingers
I have waited for you, also
In the solace of my bedchambers
Twisting silk sheets across my chest
So they might soothe the ache beneath my ribs
I have waited for you, angel
In the lodging rooms of country inns
Even as I land face first on a bed of straw
And bend my knees before a brooding stranger
I have waited for you, angel
At the courts of countless monarchs
Arching my back like a good mistress
As one man pulls at the string of my corset
And another knocks over his silver chalice
I waited for you, angel
In a Soho pub over bottles of Talisker
A book by my side, kept as a souvenir
I waited for you, again
One elbow leaning on the Bentley
My glasses fogging up as you retreated one last time
I have waited for you, angel
Since before the stars began
Since the world was merely a funny idea
Which made cherubs giggle and archangels whisper
I have waited for you, angel
For years beyond counting
I can wait a little longer
You know where I am
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thank you so much for reading!! comments and reblogs are endlessly treasured<3
also available to read on ao3 here!
this work is a gift for @foolishlovers and @omens-for-ophelia <3
tagging the usual suspects: @bowtiepastabitch @sabotage-on-mercury @crowleys-bentley-and-plants @tangerine-ginger @greenthena @and-his-hands-were-24-crows @amagnificentobsession @iammyownproblematicfave @ineffable-rohese @cottagecore-raccoon @crowleyholmes @createserenity @queer-reader-07 @nimbusalba @adverbian @ingenio-ira
pls let me know if u want to be added or removed from my taglist!
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