#i have to write a kiss scene noooo but they get to hold hands so we persevere!

[thedndgoblinwholivesinyourwalls]

hiihih lark its brrn A whikd but fuess whst time it is THATS RUGHT EEPUPOSTING hegeh uhhh did yoyyy know tgat i love rrin o niel i miss her abd i rhink she us neat

and j tgink she shiykd kiss sgade wutch abd also me

erih my bekoved

aaaalso toure so xool and i love aaaimars abd auntues thabkyou for lsttinf me be part of tge au

okkay i an fonna eep now BYW

EEPYPOSTING!!! :D

Erin O’Neil beloved <333 She is soooo cool and shehgdghdudidiejs she would wear granny sweaters but always slay ALSO ALSO SHADERIN!!!! I HAVE A NEW SONG FOR THEM AND ITS HAPPY!! It’s called Ghost Of Chicago and its so sweeet!!!

You’re so cool!!!! Thank you for helping with the AU!!!! Shaderin in this au aigdhvrjfhdufjsk

[blessedwithabadomen]

I AM SO READY FOR ALL 16 THOUSAND WORDS OF THESE BECAUSE I ALREADY KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE FUCKING AMAZING

the idea of a relationship with that distance is literally painful and i'm not even in it

to be fair, I've never had a long flight and I still ALWAYS want to crash as soon as I arrive

the idea of Oli following them on tour 🥹🥹

"What hurt the most was witnessing the final embrace between Noah and Oliver." 😭

not the two of them all cuddled up, that's literally the sweetest picture I can imagine oh my

YES HOLING THEMSELVES UP AND REALLY TALKING, WE STAN A POLY COUPLE THAT COMMUNICATES

okay and the sex obviously lmao, I don't think anyone would manage to be in a house with them long and not take them to bed and uh the sofa and a table and a shower and you get the point

I ALSO WANT TO GO ON A ROAD TRIP TO THE LAKE DISTRICT HELLO

(I love the Jack the Ripper museum it's so tiny and quirky and I'm mad that I missed the free walking tour that was included in the ticket)

I love that she made the luggage Noah's problem while sprinting to hug Oli

"I'm the one that needs to be held" 😭😭

them kissing passionately in public 🥵

I LOVE TINY MOMENT OF SOFT DOMESTICITY and that definitely includes removing someone's shoes for them

soft soft soft I'm soft they're soft ahhh

" and we hadn’t spent not even one night in each other’s arms" oh no 😭😭

fucking hell Noah, don't be like that

I don't think anyone would ever get over seeing Noah like that, no matter how many times they'd had the pleasure oooof

something new?? 👀👀 and what is up with these two lmao what's going onnnnn, they're both horrible liars lmao

I LOVE HORROR MOVIE MEMORABILIA and that they got it for her and aww but also what a bad, bad attempt as distraction hahaha

fucking giggling at the idea of them being so jealous and dramatic about (not) holding hands even though she's clearly preoccupied hahahah I fucking love these little moments, thank you so much for giving all of them space in this story

WHAT ARE THEY HIDIIIIIING

someone take me to that fucking chalet what the actual fuck

mirror 👀👀

" totally unaware that I would be propped there in all fours with no book nearby in less than twenty-four hours." GHSFÖHDÖUHAFJI I love how you just drop these things and catch me off guard because holy shit

Oli playing with Luna in the water is such a dreamy scene I actually can't 😭😭

"My questions about what they were doing went unanswered." GIRL AS IF YOU DON'T KNOW they're honestly such fucking menaces lmao

YES GIRL GIVE THEM A SHOW THEY CAN SUCK IT

"just like the time we attended my brother’s Jack engagement party." YOU NAUGHTY THING I LOVE IT

I love that their brains short-circuited because she started calling the shots

"I may have had only one mouth, but I had two hands." GHSJDLADKJAD

this whole scene is so fucking hot I'm struggling

the difference in how you write Oli and Noah (esp in terms of sex lol) is 10/10 btw, 11/10 actually, any number higher than 10 will do

NOT THEM HOLDING HANDS WHAT THE FUCK I am passing away sorry no more comments

Oli taking care of Noah yes please

LUNA NO HAHAHAH

noooo Noah you gotta get your teeth under control lmao

" “Do you have any idea how fucking good you look when she’s blowing you?”" I don't know how to survive the rest of this epilogue really

" “I never thought I would enjoy the sight of another man burying his dick deep inside of you, but seeing Oli fuck you does things to me.”" WHAT THE FUCK VERONICA YOU CAN'T JUST WRITE THESE KINDA THINGS AND EXPECT ME TO BE OKAY

all I want is to write sex scenes like you, they're so all-encompassing it's fucking amazing

Oli not being able to stop talking is spot on hahaha

"He had drifted off after a morning session of lovemaking in which Noah had taken me while I slept in his arms and Oliver had taken him—a chain reaction that had us falling one after another like a line of dominoes." ghduhfdsauihfaös the way this might or might not be something in my notes for some part of ilwtm sooner or later ANYWAY, ON WITH THE PROGRAM

and then you hit me with the softness again oof

not Noah still being stumped by british english sometimes hahaha

Noah 😭😭😭 my love

👀👀👀 are we about to find out?? is it a house??

IT IS A HOUSE WHOOP WHOOP

AND ITS THE ONE SHE WANTED BECAUSE THEY LOVE HER

yeah that's definitely not how they were planning to let her know haha

no this is so sweet 🥹🥹🥹

JURASSIC PARK THEMED I'M DYING (I want one too)

😭😭😭 EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS SO PERFECT AND I'M EMOTIONAL AND I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH IT'S SO NUANCED AND DETAILED AND PERFECT AND I KNOW THERE'S ANOTHER BONUS SCENE COMING BUT THIS IS STILL THE END IN A WAY AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THAT I'M SO HAPPY YOU WROTE THIS STORY THE WAY YOU DID 💖💖💖

Title: Into the Abyss of Bad Habits — Epilogue | Words: 16.4k

Author's note: Get yourselves a few cups of coffee ready (or tea, for those who are more into it or have an addiction like myself) because this is super long and it's full of sweetness, fluff, and horny men utterly in love with their girl.

This takes place a year and a half after part 3.

Tags & trigger warnings: polyamorous relationship, three people totally in love with each other that go on a very-much-deserved vacation, a bit of implied angst at the beginning, but mostly kinky men, sexual content including p in v (unprotected), oral (both m. and f. receiving), face-sitting, accidental biting, light choking, implied anal sex, dirty talk, praise kink, (a lot of kinks actually, if you start squinting), and probably another bunch of things that I'm forgetting because this epilogue is really long, so forgive me.

This is dedicated to @blessedwithabadomen because without her, half of this fic would probably not exist. Thank you for your constant support and love on this work, and for helping me sort out the writing for the last parts of this story, and for your reassurance whenever I was drowning in self-doubt 🥹 Also, please, if you haven't, go check out her story: In love with the mess. You will truly not be disappointed, and it's just about to get so so so good! Couldn't feel more blessed and thankful for the effort and dedication she's putting into that work ✨ Thank you, L. 🤍

A year and a half later 

London, United Kingdom

Heathrow Airport was buzzing with activity when our plane touched down from LAX in the late afternoon. 

            Noah and I had purposely booked a night flight to ease our jetlag once we hit the UK. It was one of those rare times we were traveling purely for some well-deserved vacation, a break from the hectic schedules of work and touring with Bad Omens. But despite spending the night in the plane, Noah was desperate to unclip his seat belt, get out of the airport with a strong coffee in hand, get to the hotel, and throw himself on the bed. Trying to catch some sleep on the flight was always a struggle for him with his long frame squished into those tiny seats. And I wasn't exactly well-rested either; but I was too excited to see Oliver.

            Our last time together —the three of us— had been nearly two months back in the US at a festival where Bring Me The Horizon and Bad Omens were playing. Even though we were all committed to the relationship and always managed to make time for each other —traveling back and forth whenever possible—, those chance encounters were always a bonus and we enjoyed them all the same. 

            We were still figuring out how to deal with the distance. BMTH had been around for a while, so Oliver had more freedom to move from one place to another, hence why we had been talking about him moving over to the States. We had, in fact, checked some houses in different neighborhoods a while ago, but we hadn’t decided anything yet, beginning with the fact that we had a budget and the houses we saw exceeded it, especially the one I fell in love with. Moving to the UK ourselves wasn't really on the cards, not with Bad Omens still climbing their way to the top and Noah’s and I’s residence being in the America.

            For the past couple of months, we'd been counting down the days until we could see Oliver again. Noah wasn’t very vocal about it, but he was just as eager as I was. Right now, however, he was probably just thinking about grabbing the hotel room key and crashing out in bed for a solid night's sleep. The streets of London could wait for us until next morning. 

            Despite how good things were now, there had been tough days, of course.

            When the UK NextGen tour ended, Oliver wasted no time in buying a plane ticket to join us for the last week of Bad Omens' tour across Europe. However, once the end approached, the farewell was imminent. Noah and I were eager to return home. He was obviously more exhausted than the rest of us. He lacked hours of sleep, and his body was beginning to feel the strain.

            The farewell was bittersweet. There were tears and hugs that lingered too long. What hurt the most was witnessing the final embrace between Noah and Oliver.

            During the time we spent together in Europe, their relationship had grown significantly. The fact that the three of us were in a polyamorous relationship played a big part, but it also seemed like they had found each other after a long time as friends. On one occasion, during one of Bad Omens' day off in Europe, I found the two of them napping in the hotel room when I had slipped away to the nearest Starbucks for a Caramel Macchiato. The sight of them lost in their dreams, cuddled up next to each other in bed, was so tender that it felt like my heart would burst. I kept a picture of that moment stored safely on my phone. 

            Nevertheless, however peaceful that moment was, there were hard moments that had to happen for us to be where we stood right now. There was jealousy, of course. While I never stopped feeling loved by both of them, even when they had their moments and spent hours away from me, focused on their work and making music together, the feeling wasn't the same for Oliver and Noah. It was inevitable because an ocean separated us, and at some point they started feeling that I spent more time with the other. Their heated argument in Oliver’s house the previous summer had thankfully resolved this issue, regardless of both ending up sleeping on the sofa. The good thing about that week in Sheffield was that the drop that spilled the cup killed two birds in one go, resolving the tension that had been building between Noah and Oliver because they refused to acknowledge that they wanted each other the same way they wanted me. 

The image of both of them angry was not a pretty one. Seeing them unleash those demons on stage could be very fun and exciting, but when it was at home, it wasn't pleasant at all. Luckily, we were in a much better place right now and that was part of the past. After that heated fight that nearly got physical, things got so much better. During that trip, we canceled the plans we had for the few days we had left in Sheffield, and decided to spend them holed up at Oliver's house, focusing on resolving our issues, insecurities, and fears, and making up for the lack of affection from the previous days. The reconciliation was so effusive that every time after discussing doubts and possible conflicts that might arise and the solution to these, we ended up having wild sex, and by the time our time together came to an end, we had blessed every corner and nook of Oliver's house, we had used up three boxes of condoms, and we had left the marks of our hands and knees on glass, furniture, and windows.

            This time, a year later, the plan was to  embark on a road trip to the Lake District, where Oliver had booked a chalet. Sheffield was on the way, so we would make a quick stop to pick up Luna. But first, we were to stay in London for three days. I had booked tickets to the Jack the Ripper Museum and to the Harry Potter studios, and I wanted to get to know the city a bit better, so I had planned a route along the Thames and through Camden Town.  

            The moment I spotted Oliver standing right outside the arrival gates at the airport, his smile widened, mirroring mine. Leaving Noah with the luggage, I hurried over to him, and he caught me in his arms. I wrapped my limbs around him, inhaling his scent, feeling his warmth and every other thing offered by his sole being. 

            “Hi, love,” he greeted. 

            “Hi,” I responded, giving him a gentle kiss. “I missed you.”

            “So have I,” Noah chimed in from behind, his voice sounding a tad annoyed as he maneuvered the trolley laden with our suitcases. “I’m the one that needs to be held, by the way.”

            With a laugh, I disentangled myself from Oliver and watched as he closed the distance to Noah. Their embrace was tight, their kiss passionate, and I couldn’t help but grin at the sight. 

            “Long flight?” Oliver inquired. 

            “Just like every other time, but it’s not the flight that’s the issue,” Noah replied. 

            “It’s the long legs,” I interjected.

            “We’ll book you a masseur once we’re at the hotel,” Oliver suggested, wrapping his arm around Noah’s shoulders. 

            I furrowed my brow at the suggestion.

            “Noah doesn’t need a masseur,” I stated, feeling offended. Stepping back slowly as we started to move towards the exit, I kept my eyes on them. They both seemed to find my reaction amusing, their grins widening. I couldn’t help but soften, a smile betraying my feigned offense. 

            Oliver reached out and tousled my hair, which I didn’t mind. After the long flight, I was already a mess. I sidled up next to him, tilting my head to kiss his jaw as the three of us made our way out of the airport. 

As soon as we stepped into the hotel room in London, Noah dropped his bags and collapsed face-first onto the extra-large bed. Following suit, Oliver removed Noah’s shoes from his feet, which dangled over the edge of the bed. It always struck me how Noah managed to make everything seem small in comparison. 

            Oliver removed Noah’s socks and began massaging his tired feet, paying no mind to the fact that both Noah and I desperately needed a shower. Despite offering to make him coffee or order food, Noah declined, already on the brink of sleep. Before drifting off, however, he mentioned that I must be hungry and suggested Oliver and I go out to eat while he took a nap. 

            With that, Oliver and I left Noah to rest (ensuring to hang the ‘do not disturb’ sign on the door) and set out to find a nearby spot for a quick meal. Despite the weariness of our journey, the stroll was a welcome relief for my legs. As we walked, Oliver would occasionally reach out to take my hand, his touch sending a warm flutter through me. He would also point out little details of the cityscape that he knew I would appreciate while filling me up with updates from work and about his family.

            Eventually, we settled for a vegan cheese roll with falafels from a quaint street vendor. As we sat on a bench, heleaned in close, brushing a strand of hair away from my face with gentle fingers. The simple act sent a shiver down my spine, and I couldn't help but lean into his touch, feeling the weight of the journey melt away in his presence.

            By the time we finished eating, my head was resting on Oliver's shoulder, and I could feel myself drifting off, surrounded by the hustle and bustle of the city. We felt like carefree teenagers who had just escaped from class but weren’t quite ready to head home yet. Despite the usual surge of excitement that swept over me whenever the three of us were reunited in the same city, my body felt drained. No matter how hard I tried to summon energy from within, each bite of food seemed to weigh me down further, and Oliver’s constant attentiveness, his arms wrapping around me at every opportunity, only intensified the sensation. 

            “How is he doing?” He asked suddenly, his fingers trailing gently along the curve of my skull. He was referring to Noah. 

            In an instant, memories flooded back, a torrent of emotions crashing against the walls of my mind. Bad Omens was on a deadline to get their new record ready before summer’s end, and the pressure had ensnared Noah in a relentless grasp. Consumed by his passion, as typical of him, he had neglected his mental health, and us. Noah had moved into my apartment during the summer before, but the moment he started working intensively in new music, he had practically moved back to the confines of the house he shared with Jolly, Jesse, and Orie. What began as weekday absences soon stretched into weekends lost, then an entire month slipped through and we hadn’t spent not even one night in each other’s arms. He was going to the gym and keeping track of his diet, but the problem was that he was not taking a break. Of course, we were having sex, but sometimes it felt devoid of passion, as if it was a job that had to be done and left me adrift in a sea of longing. He had also started to miss Oliver’s calls, especially the ones after I had talked to Oliver myself and I had cried over the phone, asking him to please come to Los Angeles or get me on a flight to England.  

            “Much better,” I murmured, drawing in a breath heavy with the weight of the obstacles we’d had to overcome the previous months. 

            Memories of the night in which I couldn’t hold it any longer flooded my senses. I had been in Noah’s house, waiting for an hour for a date that he had obviously forgotten about. When tears started cascading down my cheeks, Jolly and Jesse intervened and got his ass out of the studio. Noah’s eyes were red and his hair greasy. 

            “I guess seeing me having a breakdown did something to him. He looked shaken. Scared, even. And after that…” I sighed, relieved. “He's trying harder now, focusing on everything else that also matters.” Us. “He talked to his therapist and he’s managing things in a different way. He’s going to be okay. And we’ll be ok, too.”

            Looking into Oliver’s earthy eyes, I could see his relief. He had been absent most of those difficult times, and he’d been worried about Noah and about me, his concern also getting the worst of him at times. At some point he’d been this close to dropping his own job stuff and getting on a plane to come be with me and give Noah a good spanking. Thankfully, it never came to that. Things got better. Now, we were reunited again, the three of us. We were better, trying every day, and supporting each other through our imperfections.  

            As we made our way back to the hotel room an hour later, I stopped at a Starbucks to get a cup of Noah’s favorite coffee. I hadn’t been able to resist a few sips, the familiar taste being a comforting distraction from my fatigue. 

            Noah was awake and fresh from a shower when we entered the room, emerging from the bathroom wrapped in a towel that barely covered him from the waist down, his damp hair clinging to his temples and forehead. Even though I had witnessed this sight countless times before and could conjure it up in my mind whenever I pleased, it never failed to stir something primal within me. 

            “I brought you coffee,” I managed to say, my throat feeling suddenly dry as I handed him the cup. 

            “My angel,” he replied, his lips curling into a grateful smile as he took the Starbucks cup from my hand and brought it to his lips. 

            His gaze shifted to Oliver as he sipped the coffee. Oliver approached him, passing by me with a mischievous half-smile, and ran a finger down Noah’s chest, trailing down to his navel. Before he could say anything, Noah’s free hand shot out, gripping Oliver’s wrist, preventing him from venturing any further. 

            “Let me finish my coffee first,” Noah murmured, his voice low and husky. 

            Oliver responded with a throaty laugh, the sound sending a jolt of anticipation coursing through the room. 

            I couldn’t find rest until nightfall came. Despite my insistence that Noah and Oliver let me catch some much-needed sleep in bed while they entertained themselves on the sofa in the room, they conspired together to convince me otherwise. They argued that it would be better for me to expend the last of my energy and then enjoy a more restful deeper sleep. 

            As if our first night together each time we reunited was ever a night of rest, of course. 

            How naïve I was to entertain such notion, considering that I always allowed them to have their way with me both before and after dinner. 

The first day in London was a whirlwind, leaving Noah and me feeling drained and struggling to regain our footing. The subsequent days, thankfully, unfolded at a gentler pace. We indulged in the luxury of sleeping in and enjoying breakfast in our room, accompanied by tender moments of cuddling, sweet kisses, and the occasional lustful touch. 

            While I briefly talked to my brother on the phone the second morning, Noah took out his MacBook from his bag and started working, which caused Oliver to scold him because we had all agreed that this vacation would be work-free. I couldn't help but shoot Noah a disapproving look, too, which quickly transformed into a gentle shoulder rub and a heartfelt conversation. I couldn’t stay mad at him for too long. I reminded him that he didn't need to be so hard on himself and that it was perfectly acceptable to disconnect from work for a while. Nothing would happen. 

            I understood, though, that part of Noah’s reluctance to let go stemmed from his deep-seated fear of everything that he had built crashing down the moment he stepped away from his responsibilities. For months —even years— I’d been trying to help him to get rid of this fear, but Noah’s stubbornness matched his dedication to his work. Bad Omens was everything to him. When he had nothing, he had the band. I knew I wasn’t the perfect role model in this regard, but I was making an effort to help him let go, offering some reassurance that morning in London as I massaged his tense shoulders and tempted him with the multitude of activities we could do during our time in the city. 

I’d been to Camden Town before, but spending the day with Oliver and Noah proved to me much more fun and memorable. We lost ourselves in the maze of market stalls, where eccentric vendors tried to sell their stuff with infectious enthusiasm, and stumbled upon a booth selling quirky hats and accessories, where we tried on an assortment of those, collapsing into fits of laughter as we admired ourselves in the mirrors. 

            But the highlight of that day came when we stumbled upon a street performer—a magician with gloved hands and a twinkle in his eyes. He made us stop by pointing towards me insistently with a finger. I would have ignored it weren’t it for Oliver, who pulled me, and per consequent, Noah, who has holding onto my other hand, to stand in front of the man. He took out a deck of cards from his pocket, and without uttering a word, he made me choose one of them. I couldn’t see them for they were facing down. I didn’t take long to choose one and flip it around to be met with a card called the Ace of Pentacles. I raised an eyebrow, for I had no clue what it meant, and by the look on Oliver and Noah’s faces, they didn’t know, either. 

            For the first time, the magician spoke with a grin on his face. 

            “Something new will be offered to you, young lady.” 

            “Something new?” I repeated automatically. 

            Noah let go of my hand. When I turned to him, he was glaring at the man with a mix of suspicion and disbelief. The man moved his eyebrows up and down as he stared at Oliver and Noah. I followed the movement of his eyes, expecting either one of the boys to say something to me. 

            But they said nothing. Oliver handed the man a few coins and pulled me away from him.       “What was that about?” I asked as he hurried me through the people crowding the alleyways. 

            “Just some street magic,” Oliver replied, his tone casual, but his eyes betraying a hint of unease. 

            Noah, still struggling to keep pace with Oliver’s determined strides, wrapped his arms around me from behind. “Yeah, just a gimmick,” he chimed in, his voice a soft murmur against my hair. 

            “He was definitely trying to tell me something.”

            Oliver glanced at me, his brow furrowing slightly. “It’s just a street performer, love. They say things to entertain.” 

            “He was probably just trying to keep the act interesting,” Noah added. 

            “That’s why you’re both trying so hard to dismiss his words?” 

            “That’s what you think we’re doing?” Noah replied.

            “You’re being blatantly obvious.” 

            Oliver shared a look with Noah and then shook his head. I slapped his chest, demanding his attention. He replied by wrapping his arms around me and muttering his next words between gritted teeth. 

            “Just let it go, babydoll. Don’t be so stubborn and let things be.” They were definitely hiding something, but it was also obvious that they were not going to say anything. “How about we grab something to eat? I’m starving.”

            The idea of food was a welcome distraction, and I nodded eagerly in agreement. 

            Together, we weaved our way through the maze of food stalls, the tantalizing aroma of various cuisines wafting through the air. We settled in when we found a free spot, and the tension seemed to dissipate. 

            But try as I might, I couldn't shake the nagging suspicion that the cryptic words from that man had a meaning, maybe something that somehow involved Oliver and Noah, and perhaps even me. I had more reason to believe that when I caught them talking about it again after they thought I had wandered to a vintage toys stall in the underground area of Camden Town. 

            “That was some creepy shit back there, man,” Noah said to him. “How the hell did he know?”

            “He didn’t know anything,” Oliver retorted, trying to sound confident in his words, but he failed miserably, and he knew it. 

            “Dude,” Noah replied, insistent. “I saw the look on your face.”

            “Well, I prefer to ignore it, or better: let’s get her s—…”

            I couldn’t grasp the rest of the conversation because a group of teenagers accidentally pushed me and pulled me further from Noah and Oliver, dragging me to the opposite side of the shop with useless apologies and giggles. I sent them a sullen look and made my way out, looking for my boys. 

            I found them after a few minutes, coming out from a packed shop in a corner that was surrounded from every corner, top, bottom, and sides, by merchandising from different movies, series, and bands.          

            Noah was putting his wallet  back in the front pocket of his jeans while Oliver carried a quite big box. I raised an eyebrow. 

            “What did you buy?” I asked when I was in front of them. The three of us moved slightly to the side to let the tourists move through the narrow alleys. 

            “Something for you,” Oliver said. “Noah told me you’ve spent the last couple of weeks watching Chucky so…”

            “We got you a Tiffany,” Noah finished as Oliver faced the front of the box to me. 

            I blinked as the replica of Tiffany Valentine stared back at me with her singular smile. She was dressed in her wedding gown and a biker’s jacket, and she looked just as malicious as she was in the movies.

            “Oh, my God, guys,” I held the box, keeping it at a fair distance to examine the details of the doll. “This must have costed a fortune. What were you thinking?!”

            “That crazy guy back there said that something would be offered to you so… I guess he was right, after all,” Noah replied.

            I licked my lips and looked at them with a face that said, “seriously?”. But how could I neglect the joy at the fact that they had thought about gifting me a collectible of this magnitude?

            “Where are we going to keep her? In the room? You’ll both get freaked out in the middle of the night if you get up to go to the bathroom.” 

            “We’ll go together, holding hands,” Oliver joked. 

            And with our laughs mixing with the sounds of the market, we moved forward. 

            Come evening, we made our way back to the city center and enjoyed a warm copious meal in a restaurant in Covent Garden. 

            The next day, walking along the banks of the Thames, hand in hand with my boys, the whispering breeze brushing against our skin, we sipped hot chocolates. I was holding Oliver’s hand while relishing in the drink when I noticed Noah walking angrily at a certain distance. I let go of Oliver’s hand, earning a shocked look from him. 

            “You can’t both hold one of my hands and still expect me to hold a cup of hot chocolate. Don’t be so dramatic.” 

            With our voices mingling with the voices of other tourists and pedestrians, we walked the long way from Westminster to the Tower Bridge, sharing stolen kisses. While in London, we also hopped on the Jack the Ripper tour,shivering with excitement and clinging to each other as we delved into the city's darker past. Then, to lighten the mood, we ventured to the Harry Potter Studios, where Oliver couldn't resist teasing Noah relentlessly, suggesting how good he would look with Harry Potter’s glasses and a tunic, with nothing underneath. Noah's flushed cheeks and playful slaps on Oliver's chest only fueled the laughter that echoed through the magical halls.

The day we left London in Oliver’s Range Rover had me feeling a bit jittery, especially after we made our pit stop in Sheffield for lunch and to pick up Luna before heading to Cumbria. 

            While I busied myself with packing groceries that Oliver had in the fridge and that would expire soon, I overheard the boys chatting upstairs. Being the naturally curious (and maybe slightly nosy person that I was when it came to those two), I had the intuition that they were discussing something they didn’t want me to hear. It wouldn’t have been the first time they’d done that, after all. Plus, I still remembered that one time they argued and roared like lions to each other in this very room, accusing each other of hogging all my time. 

            I climbed the stairs, Luna trotting faithfully behind me with her tail wagging happily. When I peeked into Oliver’s study —a spot where he and Noah often locked themselves to work together—, I found them both bent over the computer screen, looking all serious. But as they noticed me, Oliver quickly closed his laptop. 

            “Is something wrong?” I inquired casually.

            “Nothing,” they replied simultaneously, their responses lacking conviction.  

            Noah brushed past me, planting a quick kiss on the crown of my head before smoothly transitioning to ask about our trip preparations. It was clear that he was attempting to steer the conversation away. 

            “What were you talking about?” I pressed. 

            “Work,” Oliver replied tersely, his tone final. “I’m sorry. That was the last of it. We’ll stay away from all of it during the trip.” 

            You better, I wanted to reply. 

            However, I wasn’t entirely convinced, and not in regards to this last statement. Perhaps they were simply hashing out some night scenario that involved sex toys and all those things they liked to use when the three of us were in bed. The thought momentarily eased my apprehension, though a part of me couldn’t shake the feeling that they were hiding something.  

The trip to Cumbria took about two hours from Sheffield. We made a brief stop in a rural village to allow Luna a chance to stretch her legs while we refueled the car and enjoyed a cup of coffee and a snack. 

            Arriving at the chalet by Ullswater Lake just after five in the afternoon, the warm glow of the summer sun still lingered, promising us a few more hours of daylight to enjoy. After receiving the keys from the chalet host and familiarizing ourselves with the property, we decided to take a walk by the lakeside and play with Luna, who seemed even more static than the three of us at the prospect of spending a few days away from home.

            The serenity of the countryside quickly enveloped us, offering a respite from the hustle and bustle of our lives in the city. While Oliver and Noah unloaded the luggage, I decided to stay on the porch, basking in the new surroundings and peaceful ambiance. All I could hear was the birdsong, the rustle of leaves, and the gentle lapping of water against the shore. 

            “Doll, you comin’ in?” Oliver’s voice broke through my moment of enchantment as he enveloped me in his arms.

            “Yeah,” I replied with contentment, leaning into his touch. 

            “We’re going to have a good time here,” he mused. 

            I hummed in agreement, savoring the intimacy of the moment and wrapping my arms around my middle, where his kept me securely pressed against his chest. 

            “Especially our pretty boy back there,” he teased, casting a playful glance over his shoulder towards the inside of the house, where Noah was. 

            “Thank you for doing this for him,” I acknowledged.

            “I know he needs it the most, but this is for all of us,” he explained, a hint of exhaustion creeping into his voice as he recalled the challenging months leading up to this moment. “We haven’t had proper holidays the three of us together since… forever.”

            “We’ve been dating for a year and a half,” I reminded him, unable to suppress a smile at his melodramatic flair.  

            He responded with a mock growl, his actions sparking laughter between us. 

            “Come on, let’s go in. You’re going to love the bedroom.”

            He led the way inside. 

            The interior of the house had a rustic charm, with wooden planks adorning the walls and ceiling. The sofa faced the towering windows that stretched from floor to ceiling, offering an uninterrupted vista of the swaying trees and the tranquil expanse of the lake, its surface shimmering in the dappled sunlight. There was also a stone fireplace (not that we would use it, but it added to the coziness of the house). Adjacent to the living room, the kitchen lay open and inviting. Noah had left the food bag on the countertop, next to a water-filled vase that held a bouquet of white flowers that the host had placed right that morning, as a welcoming sign.  

            There was one guest bathroom and, inside the suite, a main one with a bathtub. The suite had a grandiose plush bed dominating the space. Either Oliver or Noah had placed the Tiffany doll box in the middle of it, propped against the bunch of pillows that were calling to me.

            Noah was crouched by the tall windows on the far end, taking out some stuff and clothes from his bag when Oliver and me made our way in. 

            “It’s practically begging you to dive in, isn’t it?” Noah chimed in from the floor, gesturing towards the bed. Opposite the bed, a large mirror hung on the wall, the reflective surface capturing the play of light and shadow that danced through the room.

            Beside Noah, there was a cozy long divan. For an innocent instant, I conceived the idea of laying there with a book in my hands and a steamy cup of tea next to it, totally unaware that I would be propped there in all fours with no book nearby in less than twenty-four hours. 

After the evening walk, we entertained ourselves preparing a light dinner meal that would suit everyone’s tastes. Balancing Oliver's vegan diet and Noah's muscle-building goals wasn't always easy, but we managed. I wasn’t too picky myself, so I was happy with whatever was on the menu.

            With dinner done, we headed out to the porch overlooking the lake. Feeling witchy, I prepared a pot of lavender tea and served us a cup each. By eleven o’clock we were comfortably settled, wrapped in hoodies and blankets in the chairs provided. Noah was snug in one of his hoodies, but Oliver was barefoot, though. We talked for a while, going over through the activities that we would do while in Cumbria. The moment I noticed that the talk was steering back towards work-related topics, I brought back the talk about the house. We’d been thinking about moving in together and find a place in Los Angeles, and even though we had gone house hunting a few times, we couldn’t seem to agree on one house, and I had the nagging feeling inside of me that maybe Oliver and Noah were still not ready to take that step, even if we would spend half of the time away from each other with their tours and Oliver having his family and most of his life in England.  

            As the night deepened, our chatter gradually subsided, giving way to a peaceful silence that allowed me to take in the things I should be grateful for. 

            With a contented smile on my face, I looked at my boys one last time before allowing sleep to take over me. One of them lifted me into their arms and guided me into the house and to the bed. It didn’t matter which one it was. They both felt like home whenever I was tucked against their bodies. 

            They were home. 

It was ten thirty in the morning when I came out from the bedroom, where I had been rummaging through my clothes looking for the swimming piece I had recently bought. My heart swelled with a mixture of tenderness and concern as I found Noah seated on the sofa, his brow furrowed in a deep frown as he stared intently at his MacBook screen. I told him so many times to leave the laptop back at Oli’s house, but to hell if he would ever listen when it came to these things…            Without a word, I approached him, my fingers finding his back and gently starting to massage his tense shoulders. A soft sight of contentment escaped his lips at the touch, but it was clear that the burdens weighing on his mind ran deeper than simple muscle tension. 

            Outside, the joyful sound of Oliver’s voice drifted in through the open door, accompanied by Luna’s excited barks as they played fetch by the water. Through the windows, I watched as Oliver, shirtless and with his hair all over the place, tossed the ball into the water, Luna running after it without hesitation and jumping into the lake. 

            A minute later, Oliver was in the water, too. 

            “Let’s go,” I said to Noah with encouragement, releasing his shoulders. 

            He turned his head to me with a dramatic pout. I just gave him a look and proceeded to lift his MacBook from his lap, placing it on the coffee table before taking Noah’s hand and guiding him towards the door. 

            Finally outside, Luna’s eager bark greeted us from the water. She emerged from the shore and trotted to us, her wet white fur glistening in the sunlight as droplets flew through the air. I reached out to pet her head, feeling the cool moisture against my skin, while Noah crouched down to squash her cheeks and shower her with affectionate whispers. 

            I shed the thin beach robe I wore and left it draped over the armrest of one of the wooden chairs that Oliver had moved to the deck earlier that morning. With my hair cascading down my back, I made my way to the edge, oblivious to the lingering stares of the two men, one behind me, the other one already in the water. I dipped my hand into the water before diving in headfirst. 

            As I submerged beneath the surface, the weight of the world seemed to lift from my shoulders, replaced by a sense of weightlessness and freedom. I swam further from the deck, distancing myself from Oliver. My limbs moved in harmony with the rhythm of the water. In the distance, the silhouette of another house peeked through the trees, a solitary boat resting on its landing. The only sounds were the distant barking of a dog that wasn’t Luna and the gentle rustle of leaves. 

            Just as I was about to start swimming back to where I had last seen Oliver, I found him and Noah already in the water, their smiles radiant in the sunlight as they swam towards me. 

            Noah dipped his head, and as he came back to the surface he shook his head, causing water from his hair to splash in my face. I shielded my face with my hands, laughing. In no time, he had me wrapped in his embrace, peppering my neck with kisses. I hugged him tightly with my arms and legs around him. Moments later, Noah gently nudged me towards Oliver, who pulled me close with a perfect smile.  

            With his hair being longer, Oliver's locks cascaded around his face. I lovingly pushed them back, tucking them behind his ears, and I couldn't help but laugh at how different he looked with his wet hair slicked back. He said something as he raised an eyebrow, but his words were drowned out by Luna's leap from the dock. With a tennis ball clutched in her mouth, she swam over to us. Noah grabbed the ball and threw it far, prompting Luna to paddle after it will all her might. For the next hour, we played with her, reveling in the simple joy of the morning. After the tumultuous year we had endured, both personally and professionally, this vacation felt like a much-needed oasis in the desert.

            I felt a swell of pride, not just in myself, but in the two incredible men I was sharing my life with. 

            After a while, I found myself in Noah's arms again, letting him rock me side to side in the water, my head resting against his shoulder, my skin wrinkling from all the time we'd spent in the lake. Noah and Oliver were talking about a festival anecdote from the previous year in Milan, while Oliver absentmindedly toyed with Luna’s worn tennis ball. She was lounging lazily in the sun on the deck. But the boy’s conversation eventually dwindled into silence, a quietness that I only noticed when I felt Oliver’s chest against my back, his lips pressing a tender kiss to my shoulder. I smiled, nestled against Noah’s body.

            Suddenly, Oliver’s hand, which had previously been resting on my waist, slid down to the seam of my bikini bottom, making me gasp. Noah was observing my reaction with a mischievous grin. Two seconds later, he deftly located the strings of my bikini top and skillfully untied the knot.  

            My questions about what they were doing went unanswered. 

            A wave of panic surged within me when the two pieces of clothing were removed from my body and I was suddenly naked in the water. I looked over my shoulder to Oliver only to find him swimming back towards the deck. Panicking, I looked at Noah. I was about to tighten my grip on him when he disentangled my limbs from his body, kissed me on the lips quickly, and also started swimming away from me.

            “Guys?”

            No reply.

            “Guys!” I screamed, my voice barely above a whisper, my eyes scanning the surroundings to make sure we were alone.

            With no preamble, they got out of the water, meeting on the deck with my bikini pieces in hand, exchanging amused glances before turning their attention towards me, floating in the lake with wide eyes, trying to understand what the purpose of this was. Laughing, they headed towards the chairs, Oliver pausing at the outdoor shower to cleanse himself. Before turning on the water, he tossed my bikini bottom to Noah, who caught it in a swift movement of his arm.  

            “Are you kidding me?” I muttered to myself as I watched Oliver enjoy his shower and Noah have fun examining my bikini with an interested look on his face, as if it was something he had never seen before. 

            Nervously, I kept glancing around me, aware that if someone decided to come out from those houses in the distance or some people in a boat drove past this place they would see me, for the water was clear enough to reveal my nudity. 

            This wasn’t fun. Or at least not until I realized they had no intention of returning my swimming suit. The spectacle was too engaging for them to give it up so soon.  

            I licked my lips in a nervous attempt at sorting out my options. As much as I enjoyed letting them do these things, they were pulling on my strings, and you know that saying ‘two can play at a game’? Well, three can play, too. 

            So, I swam my way back to the shore and climbed the ladder, letting the water cascade off my body, down my breasts and my legs. I stood at the edge for a moment to sweep my hair back, relishing in the stunned expressions on their faces as their eyes scanned my bare body on display.  

            Yes, they had expected me to stay in the water and beg for my bikini. 

            Without sparing them a glance, I walked confidently back to the house, grabbing my towel on the way and wrapping it around me. As I entered the house, I looked back one last time to see their mouths agape.  

            I stuck my tongue out at them and headed towards the shower in the bedroom’s bathroom. 

It had not even been twenty minutes since I stepped into the bathroom to wash myself. While drying my hair, I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror, sporting a naughty smile. The dirty girl in me was just waiting for the provocation to pay off. 

            What took me by surprise was how quickly the anticipated scenario unfolded the moment I opened the bathroom door.  

            I wasn't even given time to look forward to the night. 

            Oliver and Noah were standing in the doorway leading to the bedroom, each casually leaning against one side, still wearing their trunks and their hair still slightly damp. They looked at me expectantly, wicked smiles playing on their lips.  

            It looked like a scene straight out of a movie, really. These things rarely happened in real life. 

            Knowing that minutes of pleasure awaited us –or perhaps hours (I was allowed to be optimistic)–, I provocatively slipped a finger into my mouth, teasingly nibbling on the tip while fluttering my eyelashes a couple of times. 

            Oliver's eyes traced a path up and down my figure, lingering on the expanse of my legs where the hem of Noah’s white t-shirt I had borrowed ended. Little did he know, I wasn’t wearing any panties, just like the time we attended my brother’s Jack engagement party. My mind had truly turned into a perverted thing. Just thinking about what we had done during that evening made me shiver with anticipation, imagining what could unfold today. 

            “Get on the bed.”

            The command didn’t come from Oliver or Noah, bur from my own lips. The startled expressions on their faces made the courage it took me to assert myself like that in their presence totally worth it. 

            Noah arched an eyebrow. 

            “What did you say?” 

            “You heard me,” I replied, unable to suppress the smile that crept onto my face despite the efforts to maintain an air of determination and dominance. The situation was electrifying, fueling an adrenaline rush that promised to leave me grasping for air.

            Oliver was the first to comply, albeit with a hint of reluctance, his gaze trailing me from the doorway to the expansive bed. He settled against the headboard, but I shook my head, silently motioning for him to lie down. Then, my attention turned to Noah. 

            “Noah?” My eyes met with a look that suggested he had a different idea of how things should unfold. I nearly rolled my eyes. 

            “Noah, could you please get on the bed?” I emphasized the ‘please’, hoping to appeal to his cooperation. 

            “Now that’s more like it,” he responded, finally acquiescing. 

            As I turned to retrieve something from the dresser where we had kept some of our stuff, I did roll my eyes. You might not be able to take the Dom out of Noah, but I was more than ready to keep trying, if only for the fun of it. 

            In the back of the top drawer, I found what I was looking for: two pairs of handcuffs. A smile played on my lips as I examined them before turning to face the guys. 

            They were both lying on the bed side by side, their heads slightly raised to watch me. Confusion tinged their expressions as they observed me standing there, the pair of handcuffs dangling from my fingers.           

            “What do you think you’re going to do with those?” Noah questioned as I approached him, taking his left hand and guiding it towards the bars of the bed’s headboard. 

            “It’s about time we turned the tables, don’t you think?” I replied, securing the first cuff, noticing how Noah’s expression was becoming strained. 

            “Baby, you don’t want to do this,” he protested. 

            “But you’re letting me, aren’t you?” I softened my voice, sweetening my tone. 

            Noah pursued his lips, a nervous twitch appearing in his jaw. 

            “I’d let you do anything. That doesn’t mean you have to take advantage of having me at your feet,” he argued. 

            “Don’t you think I deserve a little payback for you leaving me naked in the lake?”

            “You didn’t seem too upset when you came out of the water, doll,” Oliver interjected, lounging back to enjoy the interaction between me and Noah.  

            “A woman has to learn to govern herself, especially is she’s with two perverts like you two.”

            “I’m not a pervert,” Noah protested again. 

            Click. With both wrists now secured to the bed, from my position at the foot of the bed, the image looked tantalizing. But it was evident that Noah wasn’t comfortable not being the one in control. While my initial intent was merely revenge, I began to consider that perhaps this could end up helping Noah relax and let go. He was a control freak and a perfectionist, qualities I benefited from, but which could also burden him. 

            Noah tested the strength of the restraints, growing more frustrated as he realized his attempts were futile. The handcuffs were sturdy; they weren’t freaking toys.  

            I wasn’t too sure that Noah would withstand what I wanted to do to him without starting to plead for release, but it was worth a try. 

            “Dude, you are a perv,” Oliver said. 

            “Just because I enjoy sex and having fun during it doesn’t make me a perv,” Noah defended. 

            “Are you sure about that?” The other man challenged him.

            “Absolutely. Call me whatever you want, just not a pervert.”

            “Kinky lover?” I suggested. 

            “Hm. Yeah, that works for me,” He finally agreed. 

            Oliver’s laughter at the interaction ceased abruptly when I seized his wrist, securing his left hand alongside Noah’s right. 

            “What?” I spoke. “Did you think I was only going to tie up Noah? You took off my bikini bottoms,” I pointed out. 

            “Who’s laughing now, bastard?” Noah grunted. 

            Unlike Noah, Oliver submitted to being tied more readily, without making grumpy faces and pulling at the handcuffs. He simple observed with particular attention as I bound him.

            To secure his left wrist, I had to climb onto the bed and pass one leg over his lap, kneeling over his shorts. 

            “Are you not wearing any underwear?” He suddenly exclaimed. 

            Immediately, Noah’s eyes also dropped to the space between my legs. 

            I hurried to fasten the handcuffs, then stepped off the bed, pulling the shirt down to cover myself. 

            “Are your trunks still wet? I better take them off,” I suggested.

            “Yeah,” Oliver whispered, impatient and wide-eyed. “Take them off,” his words were accompanied by the not-so-subtle movement of his hips. 

            Noah, at his side, was growing increasingly hot and tense. He remained silent, only lifting his hips slightly when I indicated for him to do, allowing me to drop both their trunks to the floor. 

            To tease them a bit more, I stayed still for a moment, admiring their bodies, relishing in the sight of what they had between their legs. 

            Yeah, those were mine. 

            I licked my lips, alternating my gaze between the two. With the intensity of my stare, Oliver’s cock twitched slightly. 

            “Don’t move,” I instructed as I walked backwards towards the luggage. 

            “Is that some kind of joke?” Noah questioned, irritated.

            I retrieved a tiny light blue lingerie set from my suitcase. I hadn’t planned on wearing it until the last night, but it seemed like debuting it now could be fun. I rushed to the bathroom and locked myself in to change. 

            I didn’t spend more than five minutes there, but Oliver and Noah were growing so impatient. 

            When I opened the door, I was nervous, but at least, seeing them both securely tied to the bed alleviated some of it. 

            Their complaints dissipated the moment they saw me. As much as I would have loved to revel in a delicious torture and watch them fight against the restraints, watch their cocks grow harder and harder just by watching me, and thinking of what they might do to me and what I was going to do to them, impatience was already taking its toll on me, and the butterflies in my stomach were dancing anxiously.  

            I climbed onto the bed and positioned myself between the two bodies, placing my hands on their thighs. I caressed them, warming the skin of their legs as well as the skin of my own hands.

            I initiated the warm-up by kissing Oliver, a little reward for behaving. He responded hungrily, his roar muffled by the intensity of our kiss. Tracing my lips along his jaw and down his neck, I savored the sensation, eliciting withheld moans that mingled with the sounds of Noah’s struggles against his handcuffs.  

            I may have had only one mouth, but I had two hands.

            I slid over to Noah, offering him a smile before pressing my lips to his. As I kissed and nibbled, my right hand trailed down Oliver’s chest, tracing the patterns etched into his skin from memory, reveling in the rise and fall of his chest with each breath. When I placed my palm face down, I could feel his heart racing. 

            Noah’s contentment, however, surprised me.  

            I had expected him to beg in a hoarse, choked voice to let him go, unable to bear being at my mercy, so mine was the surprise when instead, he asked me to touch him.

            I repositioned myself, glancing at Oliver before complying with Noah’s request. 

            “Touch him, doll,” Oli said. 

            My left hand moved down Noah's chest, past his navel and through the dark pubic hair before reaching his throbbing member and encircling it with my fingers. Noah let out a sigh that held all the air he had been holding inside. I tugged at him at the same time that my mouth descended through his neck until my lips landed on one of his nipples. He sucked in a breath. His back arched a little, and I took that as a notice to use my tongue to toy with his nipple, nibble at it and suck on it, just the way he loved doing with mine. 

            “Fuck…” 

            That was a glorious sound.

            I settled at the foot of the bed, and leaned down to caress the tip of Noah’s cock with my tongue. He tilted his head back, eyes closed. He was hard as a rock. 

            Beside him, Oliver wasn’t in much different condition, but his eyes were open, and he watched with lust and a fierce hunger the movements of my tongue, lips, and fingers on Noah's cock. 

            “Watch,” I told him, “because everything I'm doing to Noah I’ll do to you next.”

            I loved Noah’s taste. It was a potent blend of masculine essence with a tinge of salty and earthly kick. A surge of pride swelled withing me each time I witnessed how deeply I aroused him. That look of total pleasure on his face? I did that.

            With my mouth on his cock, Noah’s moans filled the room, resonating through the walls. The art of sucking him off was a dance I had mastered long ago, a rhythmic symphony orchestrated by the movements of my lips and tongue, the occasionally scrap of my teeth and a tortuous suction, guided by the music of Noah’s vocalizations. 

            However, I could sense he was holding back. A furrow appeared between his brows; his struggle evident as he strained against the handcuffs. After a few minutes, a vein in his neck began to swell. Next to him, Oliver muttered a curse, his own erection hurting for being neglected while his eyes couldn’t wander away from my ministrations on our pretty boy. 

            Soon, when I felt Noah tense in my mouth, on the brink of release, I withdrew. 

            “No!” He shouted, lifting his head in a rush. “Babe, what are you doing?” His tone was desperate, evident in the rapid rise and fall of his breath. 

            Running a finger across my lips, I moistened them before shifting my focus to Oliver.           “It’s Oliver’s turn.”

            “But— I didn’t come.”

            “And you won’t. Not in my mouth. Not now.”

            His brown eyes widened further as he watched me descend, mouth open and tongue out, towards Oliver’s cock, which was already glistening with precum. 

            “Goddammit, yes…” Oliver mumbled, smiling as he finally rested his head on the pillow, more than ready to succumb to the pleasure I was going to give him. 

            But as much as I wanted to recreate myself on him, and given that I’d assured him that I would repeat the same steps as I did on Noah, it was impossible. The spectacle I had put on with Noah’s cock had already pushed Oliver to the edge. If I were to repeat the same seductive dance with him, he would come in my mouth in less than a minute. 

            And I didn’t want that. 

            Oliver was more vocal than Noah, less inhibited in his desires. Louder. He welcomed me with complete abandonment.

            He hadn’t yet fully engaged with the suction of my mouth when he strained against the handcuffs. As I lifted my head, I noticed that both he and Noah had their eyes closed and they were holding onto each other with their hands clasped together on the headboard.

            How sweet. 

            When I pulled away from Oliver, I remained kneeled between them at the foot of the bed. They were covered in a layer of sweat, their flushed cheeks and erratic breaths emphasizing their captivity—they were tied to the bed, and they were mine.  

            I felt stupidly happy. 

            “That’s it? You’re not going to let us come?” Noah queried. 

            I shrugged, my hands on my knees. 

            “Maybe if you play your cards right…”

            “You know we always do,” Oliver declared with a certain roughness in his voice, now tugging at the restraints. 

            “I’m going to release you,” I said to Noah, positioning myself over him and stretching my body so that my still covered chest hovered above his face. “But only if you promise not to pounce on me like a lion as soon as you’re free.”

            In response to my warning, he playfully pretended to want to bite me, lifting his head and opening his mouth before closing his jaw. The gesture made the three of us laugh. 

            Releasing him, Noah’ didn’t lunge at me; instead, he grabbed my head to bring our lips together. 

            “One of us is still tied. This isn’t fair,” Oliver complained, tugging on the handcuffs for emphasis. 

            Raising an eyebrow with one of Noah’s hands still on my cheek, I retorted, “Don’t talk to me about what’s not fair when I spend half of the time tied to the bed and at your mercy.” 

            “Maybe that’s exactly what we should do now,” Noah interjected. “What do you plan to do about this, huh?” He asked, gesturing towards his reddened erection. 

            “I’ll take care of that,” Oliver declared, “if this feisty kitten decides to let me go.”

            I muttered a playful ‘whiner’ as I moved to Oliver’s lap, unfastening the handcuffs, and letting them fall onto the bedside table next to the keys. In a swift movement, Oliver pushed me onto the bed, eliciting a small yelp from me. His hands swiftly went to my underwear, starting to pull them down. 

            “Are these new?” He noticed. 

            I nodded. 

            “This is fucking sexy. This color looks so good on you,” he complimented as he ironically slid down my panties, tossing them onto the floor. “I’m sure Noah is having the time of his life, aren’t you?” 

            Indeed, Noah’s eyes were roaming over my chest. Being a man who had a particular interest in the underwear I wore, he admired the details on the design of the lacy bra before leaning in to pull the fabric covering my left breast down. Then, he placed his mouth atop of the peak of my breast and licked. 

            A moan escaped my lips. 

            “Always so sweet…” he murmured against my skin, “and so responsive. It only adds to the pleasure.” 

            Yeah…

            Just as with any of their touches, the sensation was intoxicating, and I didn’t want Noah to stop, but Oliver interrupted to insist my bra was unnecessary and I should be naked, always naked. Noah readily agreed, wasting no time in attaching his lips to my breasts again as soon as I was as naked as they were.   

            “I know she’s delicious, but I told you I’d take care of you,” Oliver reminded Noah, “so get on your back.”

            With a pleased smile, Noah complied, kissing my lips one last time before laying down next to me. 

            “He doesn’t have to say please?” I teased, raising an eyebrow at Noah. 

            “Don’t be so jealous,” he said to me, extending an arm to grab my forearm. “Come here.”

            I thought he wanted me to kiss him while Oli sucked him off, maybe cuddle him, and perhaps watch him as he came undone, but then he said, “Sit on my face.” 

            Even though it wouldn’t be the first time, the proposal always made me flush. Nonetheless, I couldn’t hide my excitement, a fact that Noah was quick to notice, a big grin spreading across his face as I shifted on the mattress. 

            “You love sitting on my face, don’t you, baby?” 

            I straddled Noah’s inked chest and leaned forward, feeling his hands grip my buttocks as he helped guide me. 

            “Wait a sec,” Oliver stopped us, causing Noah to glance from the side and above my thigh and prompting me to turn my head. 

            Oliver trotted towards the door, where Luna stood, undoubtedly confused by the scene before her. 

            “You shouldn’t see this, pretty girl,” Oliver said to her. “This one here is already corrupted, but you’re still a pure soul, so I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to close the door.”

            Like the good girl she was, she didn’t say anything. 

            Oliver closed the door and took a moment to open one of the windows on the right side of the bedroom, given that the temperature was quickly escalating indoors. 

            Noah’s laughter rumbled against my thigh as he placed a kiss before refocusing his attention on me. 

            “Hold onto the headboard if you need to. Or pull at my hair, I don’t mind.”

            I took a deep breath and gripped the headboard. I felt his breath between my legs. I closed my eyes momentarily to savor the sensation of his hands enveloping my thighs, pressing me down on him, and the anticipation of what was to come. 

            When I glanced down for a moment, I caught him softly murmuring a tender ‘I love you’ before his mouth found my center.  

            And I melted. 

            Already floating on cloud nine, Oliver kneeled at the edge of the bed and grabbed Noah’s ankles, pulling him towards him. In response, Noah tugged at my legs, prompting me to extend my arms so I could still brace myself against the headboard. 

            “What a fucking glorious view,” Oliver muttered, and I could only imagine. But my thoughts were quickly replaced when Noah’s lips and tongue worked fervently on my clit. By the way his fingers dug into my skin, I knew that Oliver finally had his mouth on him. 

            Even with a window open, the temperature in the room was rosing up steadily, matching the pace of my increasing heartbeat. Noah’s tongue moved with precision, expertly teasing and tantalizing me. He knew exactly how to play with me, using the tip of his nose to rub against my clit before letting his tongue snake out and wander between my folds. 

            As our moans intertwined, Noah’s movements intensified. His focus on me unwavering even as Oliver perpetuated a delicious torture on his cock, which caused a symphony of pleasure and curses to fill the air. The momentum kept building up, with Oli taking him deeper and deeper with every bobbing of his head and scrap of his teeth. Noah pressed me down harder to his face, and the pressure and suction on the spot between my legs was growing increasingly maddening. 

            It never led to madness because at some point Noah’s teeth trapped my clit in between and a sharp cry of pain escaped from my lips, breaking the haze of our pleasure.

            The reason: Oliver had sucked his tip in a way that nearly made him lose his sanity. In response, Noah accidentally bit my clit. 

            “Baby. Oh, shit. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” 

            His hands gripped my waist and pulled me down onto his chest, his eyes searching my face for signs of distress as I kept a hand between my legs, my eyes closed shut and my teeth scrapping my lower lip. 

            “What happened?” Oliver asked. 

            When Noah explained, Oliver burst into laughter, causing Noah to scold him before he shifted a bit to check my face again.

            “Baby?”

            “That was… not nice,” I managed to say, though my gaze softened as I opened my eyes and looked at Noah, his face adorned with pink swollen lips and traces of my arousal. 

            “I know, baby. I’m so sorry, it wasn’t on purpose,” he apologized, his hands stroking my arms.  

            “It’s ok. I’ll be fine,” I reassured him. 

            I reached out to touch his cheek and wipe away some of my arousal from his chin. He looked so beautiful like this, though. But I was suddenly lifted from atop Noah’s body by Oliver’s strong hands. 

            “Let’s see what all this pretty boy’s fuss is about.” He laid me down on the divan by the large windows overlooking the lake. His chest was glistened with sweat, and his scent mingled with mine, surrounding me in an heady embrace. 

            I took a deep breath as Oliver spread my legs open and inspected me closely. 

            “She looks pretty fine to me,” he said. 

            “I’m okay,” I muttered, feeling a twinge of shyness at the way he was observing me. 

            Noah came to stand on my side. In all honesty, they were a bit terrifying hovering over me while I was laying down. They would have made me tremble if it wasn’t for Noah’s concerned face. 

            “She’s wet and… very hard,” Oliver noticed, running his thumb up my clit, causing me to bite my lip and inhale sharply. 

            Noah bent down, running a soft hand through my hair and kissing my forehead. 

            “Doll, tell Noah you’re okay, otherwise his erection is going to turn into a withered flower.” Oliver’s joke made Noah roll his eyes as he stood up. 

            Instead of reassuring him verbally, I lifted myself on my elbows and directed my attention to his still-hard cock. With my eyes locked on his, I Indulged in tasting the tip once again, teasing him with my tongue. 

            “You sure you’re okay?” He struggled to say, losing focus. 

            “I’ll be better when I have you in my mouth and Olive between my legs.” 

            His expression shifted from concern to disbelief and then amusement. Yeah, he still hadn’t wrapped his head around the fact that he had me. He had me in every possible way. And he had Oliver, too. They both had me and I had them. 

            With one hand, I took Noah’s length into my mouth, pumping him until he groaned, his head falling back in a mix of pleasure and vulnerability. His hands remained clasped together behind his back, emphasizing his muscular form. 

            Meanwhile, Oliver’s lips trailed a path of kisses up my thigh. Usually he was one to nibble, but it quickly dawned on me that maybe he was concerned, too, about Noah accidentally biting me, and he opted for keeping his touch soft and gentle. 

            “Do you have any idea how fucking good you look when she’s blowing you?” Oliver’s words to Noah were a seductive whisper, who made the young one struggle to swallow under his intense gaze. “Next time we’ll get her on her knees, and you will stand before her, with a full-length mirror in front of you. You will see your reflection while she tortures you with that sweet hot mouth, and there I’ll be, right behind you,” Oliver murmured, planting kisses on my legs, his green eyes fixed on Noah as I continued to suck him off. His words weaved a spell around him, Noah’s throat tightening, leaving him momentarily breathless as a drop of sweat slid down his temple. “I’ll get my hands on that fucking tight ass of yours and give you whatever you ask for. How does that sound?”

            A heavy breath suffocated Noah. His reaction prompted Oliver to laugh at how easily he got both of us in this state. 

            “Hold her head,” Oliver instructed Noah, displaying again that face that said ‘let’s get to work’.

            Not that Noah wouldn’t have done it. They were so considerate that they even worried about my hair breaking if it got stuck under our mess of limbs or pillows or whatever that was around. 

            Noah’s hands found the back of my head. He moved my hair to the said and positioned himself closer to me so that my head was nearly resting atop his thigh. I lifted a hand to reach for his cock and stroke it as Oliver kissed my chest and dipped lower until he reached my navel. He stopped. He used his thumb to trace a circle around it, and reverently, he kissed it and licked it, fondling that area of skin and cherishing it as if it was his favorite part of my body. 

            I found myself gradually descending into the depths of subspace, utterly captivated by Oliver’s every move, unable to tear my gaze away from the ministrations he was performing on the skin of my stomach.  

            One of Noah’s hands found the side of my face and gently caressed my cheek. 

            “Do you like it when he does that?” His deep voice was soft, tender.

            “Yes,” I managed to breathe out, my heart racing, my mind filled with cotton. 

            I couldn’t really describe the feeling. Noah was keeping me secured and comfortable against him while Oli pressed kisses on my lower tummy, which felt another level of intimate when they were placed on my navel. 

            “You love it when we’re all sweet and nice with you, don’t you?” Noah continued, trailing strands of hair behind my ear. 

            Oliver answered for me.

            “She loves it.” 

            I mirrored Oliver’s grin of satisfaction. 

            My boys. 

            “But you like us feral when we’re inside of you,” Noah’s voice dropped, and it didn’t matter that we were already naked and touching each other: a shiver ran down my spine. 

            “She’s so receptive to everything we do or say,” Oliver remarked, some sort of amazement in his voice. “She’s fucking perfect for us, man.” 

            And they were perfect for me.

            Oliver stepped back, standing up. He lifted my legs, while Noah extended his arms to reach for my ankles, spreading me open for Oliver. As Oli positioned himself at my entrance, he rubbed his cock between my folds, teasing me. Meanwhile, Noah was about to stretch back to retrieve a condom from the nightstand and pass it to Oliver when I shook my head. 

            “No,” I said. “I want to feel you. No barriers. Just your skin on mine.” 

            Oliver’s eyes turned a shade darker.

            “What did a motherfucker like me ever did to deserve you?” 

            “If you have to ask that question maybe I’m not doing a good job at showing you how thankful I am for your love and affection…” I teased. 

            Oliver clicked his tongue and bent down to kiss me hard and passionate.

            “Look at her,” he said then, directing his words to Noah. His voice tinged with desire. “So needy.”

            The observation wasn’t a tease; it was a simple acknowledgment of the truth. I was indeed needy, overwhelmed with ecstasy at the realization that this was my life, my men, and that we were all totally happy and satisfied with each other, in every aspect possible. 

            Noah took hold of one of my wrists, securing my arm against his thigh, allowing me to use the other to his pleasure.

            “She’s soaked, isn’t she?” 

            “A complete mess,” Oliver concluded, “which only makes… this… smoother,” he finished huskily as he slid his cock inside of me, one inch at a time. 

            The delicious stretch made me let out a moan from deep withing me and dig my nails into Noah’s thigh, seeking to anchor myself. I wriggled, trying to adjust to Oliver, yearning to feel him as deep as possible, to claim him as mine one more time. With a lift of my hips, I impaled myself on the last of his rigid length, gasping as he seared me with his heat. 

            Oliver eased back, teasing me with the almost withdrawal, each movement causing a fresh gasp to escape my lips, my moans growing louder with every thrust. Every nerve in my body tingled with awareness, every cell attuned to the rhythm of his movements as he pushed in and out. 

            “Faster, please.”

            “Yeah,” Oliver roared in response, his hands firm on my hips as he guided me to his desired pace. 

            My entire body responded to him, just as it did to Noah’s whenever he was inside of me, performing the same intimate dance.  

            “Your mouths are wonderful and all that, but man,” Oliver’s voice was strained, “there’s nothing like being inside of her.” 

            “I know. I know…” Noah moaned as I stroked his cock and attempted another long lick the best I could, given my strenuous position. 

            It took him less than a few moments to gather himself and tell me not to stress my neck, but Oliver’s intensified thrusts stole my breath, making me scream in ecstasy.  

            “That’s it, doll,” he encouraged, his hands urging my thighs open as they trembled under the force of his movements and the intensity of the sensations cursing through my entire being. “Get all tight on me.”

            Oliver looked breathtaking as he pounded into me, driving me closer to the edge. The colors of his tattoos appeared more vibrant, accentuated by the sweat covering his body. When I glanced up, I found Noah smiling at the sight, as if he cherished every moment of Oliver taking me to the brink. 

            His hand found my left breasts and squeezed. 

            “You’re so fucking beautiful when you’re about to come,” his voice trailed off as his lips found my ear. “I never thought I would enjoy the sight of another man burying his dick deep inside of you, but seeing Oli fuck you does things to me.”

            “Noah,” I whimpered in response. 

            “Yeah, princess. I know exactly what you need.” His hand traveled up to my neck. When his fingers tightened around it just the right amount to give me a new type of high, I thought I could die right there right then. “Is he fucking you good, kitten? Talk to me, come on.” His grip eased just a bit, enough to allow me to answer. 

            “Yes. God, yes. It’s so good. Please, more. I want more. Everything.”

            “You’re like a fucking renaissance painting,” Oliver said amid his struggle to form words, his breath heavy with desire, his body covered glistening. “Both of you naked, disheveled, you in Noah’s arms, holding onto him, his hand around your neck… He’s fucking thrilled to see you coming undone while you’re drowning in the pleasure I give you.” 

            When Oliver slowed his movements to get one knee on the divan and leaned forward, —to pull Noah into a kiss— I whined for not being able to move and share that kiss with them. I was trapped underneath the cage of their bodies, but oh if this wasn’t a sight to behold. I felt blessed and completed. We were a mess of love and lust and passion, and we couldn’t get enough of each other. 

            “Take her for a ride,” Oliver offered Noah, pulling away from me. “I can’t stop looking at that pretty mouth and those swollen pink lips and I’m going to die if I don’t get my cock in her mouth in the next ten seconds.”

            In less than ten seconds indeed, Oliver maneuvered me onto my hands and knees on the divan. I wasn’t sure if my limbs would hold me, but I had no other choice. Noah stood behind me, bending to shower kisses on my shoulders, back, and butt, while Oliver circled to stand in front of me, his gaze just as hungry. As he indicated for me to open my mouth, I complied because I was, after all, a good girl. But first I had to trace his stomach with my tongue, licking every tattooed inch of his torso and savoring the electricity of his body. Only when I reached the beginning of his happy trail, I put him in my mouth. 

            The intensity in his eyes mirrored that of a predator, hungry and primal. 

            His weight on my tongue was deliciously overwhelming. 

            “The sight of you taking me like this always drives me insane,” Oliver confessed, his hands tangling in my hair. “But you know what tops it? Seeing Noah take you from behind.” 

            As if his words worked magic, Noah slid inside of me, his hands gripping my hips as he pressed against me. “Kitten…” he murmured, holding himself back. “Fuck. You’re damn sure you don’t want a condom on?” 

            I shook my head as best I could, for Oliver was occupying every corner of my mouth and cancelling my ability to speak. 

            “Look at him, baby,” Oliver took his cock out of my mouth so that I could look back over my shoulder. I couldn’t really maneuver as much as I would have liked to, but it was enough to see Noah’s contorted face of pleasure, his struggling smile filled with adoration and desire. 

            His thrusting started a second after, his movements becoming more fervent with very passing minute, each thrust pushing me closer to the edge of bliss.            

            “You should see his face, baby,” Oliver said to me, holding my chin, “the way he’s pulling his hair back because you’re taking him to the edge. I’m not sure what to do, man,” his last words were directed to Noah. “I’m torn between taking your place and finish her off, and taking you and making you scream until you can’t sing until your next life.”

            “Fuck, man. Shut up. I won’t last long,” was Noah’s reply. 

            As Oliver’s hoarse laughter reverberated in my ears and Noah’s powerful thrusts shook my entire body, I summoned the last reserves of my strength to reach out and grasp Oliver’s cock. With trembling fingers, I guided it back into my eager mouth. I sucked him off for a long minute, tracing with the tip of my tongue the thick veins protruding from his length, licking the top as if it was candy. 

            Noah’s next thrust was hard and bordering on pain, but pleasurable all the same. I let go of Oliver to scream, the sound ripping through my vocal cords. Noah’s hands found my hair and he gathered all the messy strands to pull me towards him, tilting my head back until I was left with no choice but to stare at Oliver with watery eyes, my chin up and my lips parted, the saliva dripping from the corner quickly wiped away by Oliver’s thumb. In that moment, I felt completely exposed, vulnerable yet exhilarated by the raw intensity of the experience.  

            “Fuck,” Noah groaned.

            “Yes,” Oliver roared in return, grabbing my face with a hand and pressing his fingers into my cheeks. “You look so beautiful on all fours, letting Noah fuck you hard and deep. You’re so, so good for us, doll. And we love you so fucking much, you know that, right? We fucking adore the good girl that you are.” 

            I was a wreck. There was nothing I could do. I was done for. My heart was going to explode and so was the rest of my body. 

            Despite my helplessness, a prideful smile played on my lips, and Oliver kissed me through it, his touch a blend of amusement, desire, and profound love. 

            “Noah, you should definitely see her like this. She can’t stop smiling while you fuck her. It doesn’t get any better than this. We’re some lucky bastards.”

            Noah’s response came amidst his relentless thrusts, his words spoken with conviction and tenderness. Leaning over me, he enveloped me in a hug, his warm breath against my ear, one of his hands sliding down to my clit. “You’re perfect for us, kitten, so take what we give you, yeah? We’re all yours. Everything we have to offer is for you.”

            I was surrounded by their love and desire. I felt truly cherished and consumed by ecstasy. I wasn’t going to last much longer, and my orgasm was going to swallow me whole. 

            The air was thick with the scent of our worked-out bodies. Our desperate and raw moans filling the room, echoing off the walls as every nerve in my body ignited, higher, harder. Each touch, each thrust, pushed me to the brink. Every tingling sensation escalating, every sensation in every inch of my body was constantly awakened and pushed to the edge of feeling. My entire body tingled, the electrifying sensation turning into ache that crazily enough kept me thrusting back against Noah in pleas for more as I welcomed Oliver’s hot and frenzied release inside of my mouth, driving me to arch my back and press into Noah’s body, yearning for his release, too. 

            I wanted it all. 

            In the end, I didn’t even need much more than Noah’s movements and Oliver’s words. Their tempo had been a tortuous dance that had promised to send me over the edge, and I was just

about

to

fall

right 

over

it.

            “Eyes on me,” Oliver commanded, grabbing my jaw again. “I want you looking at me when Noah makes you come.”

            “Come on, baby,” Noah urged. “It’s right there. Just right,” one more thrust, “there.”

            It was there, and I took it with screams and trembles until my head fell on the divan, my body unable to hold itself, my legs spasming as Noah’s growls filled my ears and his cum spilled over my buttcheeks and lower back.              

A day later — Early morning

Noah's laughter shook his body, causing a ripple effect that had me giggling and squirming against his chest, where I was lying diagonally with my hand extended towards Oliver.  

            Oliver was sleeping face down. He had drifted off after a morning session of lovemaking in which Noah had taken me while I slept in his arms and Oliver had taken him—a chain reaction that had us falling one after another like a line of dominoes.

            Noah and I hadn't been able to fall back asleep, and now we laid intertwined in each other’s nakedness while Oliver’s breathing drifted intermittently above our hushed voices. 

            Being in a playful mood, Noah and I decided to tease Oliver, making comments about how much he snored. Oliver responded with a muffled grunt into his pillow. 

            Later, I found myself idly toying with Oliver’s curls until he grunted again and shifted away from us, turning his head in the opposite direction. That’s when my eyes fell on his nipples, and that’s where I teased him next. 

            Oliver swatted my hand and opened one eye. “Stop,” he ordered. “Why don’t you annoy your other boyfriend? That’s why there’s two of us.”

            I hummed in disappointment and then sighed as I rested my head on Noah’s chest, still looking at Oliver’s sleeping face for a few moments. The softness of his features eased my spontaneous frustration, the comforting touch of Noah’s hand running through my hair also helping. 

            “Did you sleep well?” Noah asked with a soft voice, careful not to disturb Oliver too much. 

            “Hmm,” I murmured, nodding as I rubbed my head against his chest. Shifting, I turned to lift my head and look at him. “You?”

            “Yeah,” he replied, “except for the time I had to get up to pee and the damn doll kept staring at me until I disappeared into the bathroom.” His finger pointed towards the boxed Tiffany on top of one of the drawers in the room, likely placed there by Oliver on purpose. 

            “So, Oli didn’t get up to walk hand in hand with you, huh?” I teased. 

            “Does he really look like he would get up in the middle of the night to ease my fears? He’s totally passed out,” he remarked. 

            “Not really,” Oliver chimed in from his pillow. “Not anymore, anyway, but I’m knackered.” 

            “Knackered,” Noah repeated, a hint of confusion in his tone. My fingers played with his brown strands of hair. The haircut he wore these days was my favorite. “What the hell does that even mean, dude?”

            I giggled softly.

            “You should know by now, love,” Oliver added, still speaking with closed eyes, one hand resting beneath the pillow. 

            “Worn out, tired,” I whispered to Noah. Then, I leaned in to straddle him and planted a kiss on his jaw, feeling the stubble under my lips. He’d probably decide to shave today, and I couldn’t wait to watch him, maybe even Oliver, too, standing together in front of the bathroom mirror with blades in hand. There was something incredibly attractive about watching not just one, but two men shaving. 

            I sighed loudly, feeling like I was still in a dream. 

            My lips traced the curve of Noah’s jaw until I playfully nibbled on his earlobe. Sensing my playful vibes, he turned my face towards him and planted a gentle kiss on my lips, his eyes locking onto mine with intensity. 

            “You were fantastic yesterday morning.”

            His words made my cheeks flush. 

            “Thank you,” I replied, feeling a warm glow spread through me. 

            “You know…” he began, “I didn’t want to fall in love with you,” his tone turned somber as his fingers tucked strands of hair behind my ear. “During those months when we were just having fun and having sex every so often… I was terrified of what I was feeling every time I had you in my bed, in my arms, and I told myself I couldn’t afford to fall in love with you; that I was not good for you. By the time I decided I had to stop fucking you, I realized I had fallen in hard long ago,” he took a deep breath, his index finger tracing the line of my nose. “Now, I don’t regret a single minute I’ve spent with you, any of the steps that have brought us here. And I wouldn���t want things to be any other way. You, me, Oliver. Sex, love, arguments; the sun, and the rain. Everything. I wouldn’t trade what we have for anything in the world.”

            His words melted my heart, and tears welled up in my eyes. 

            Before they could spill over, Oliver’s voice cut through our moment of tender honesty. 

            “You two are really cute, seriously.”  

            Noah relaxed with resignation, rolling his eyes. I slapped Oliver’s bare shoulder, but my body sought his with desperation when I saw his beautiful eyes shine under the morning light streaming in through the windows, accompanied by his radiant smile. 

            I had everything anyone could ever ask for. 

We left the warmth of the bed nearly an hour later, after a tickling match and some cuddling. 

            I took longer in the shower that morning, thoughts of the day ahead and memories of the previous day’s activities mingled with the steam around me. I pulled my hair up in a bun in front of the dresser, and with my bikini on and a well-worn t-shirt that I had long since taken ownership of (and could no longer remember if it had belonged to Oliver or Noah), I walked into the bright openness of the kitchen and went straight to make myself a cup of iced green tea. 

            Through one of the windows, I spotted Oliver and Noah playing outside with Luna. 

             After pulling a few ice cubes out of the freezer, Noah's loud laughter drifted into the house through the door and open windows. I caught sight of him doubled over with mirth, hands on his knees while Oliver, not far off, lay sprawled on the grass, laughing as Luna affectionately licked his face. 

            Witnessing their happiness never failed to reassure me that all was right in the world, in our world. The nights when Noah’s health was a concern seemed distant now, replaced by a sense of well-being and contentment. Any lingering doubts Oliver may have harbored about this relationship or his place within it had melted away. We were a team. We were bound to each other. They loved me, they loved each other, and I loved them. 

            An incoming call on Oliver's iPhone snapped me out of my trance, forcing me to draw my attention away from the window as I reached for the phone resting on the kitchen island. 

            Seeing Amelia’s name flashing on Oliver’s phone screen, the same real estate agent that had guided us through potential homes for our future together as a trio a few months ago, caught me off guard. Memories of our discussions about the charming two-story house in a serene Los Angeles neighborhood, close to the house Jack and his wife Sylvie had recently purchased after getting married, flooded back. Noah hadn't been very decisive about it; He had a preference for other neighborhoods. But the main problem was that the house I fell in love with was way out of our budget, so we had ruled it out. Then we decided to leave house hunting activities for another time, maybe after summer and after their crazy schedules turned less chaotic. 

            That’s why I didn't understand why Amelia was calling Oliver. 

            Nevertheless, I answered the call. Amelia’s warm greeting reminded me of our prior interactions. When I told her that Oliver couldn’t be put on at that time, she seemed pleased to speak with me instead. 

            She started talking about paperwork and payments, which left me baffled. 

            “As I indicated to Noah and Oliver, after receiving the missing paperwork and the main payment, we would have the keys available in a matter of a couple of weeks. So, I was calling to let you know that you can come by the office to pick up the keys to your new home at a time that works best for you.”

            What paperwork? What payment? 

            The keys to my new home?

            I had no clue what she was talking about. 

            “Our new home?”

            “Sure,” she didn’t catch my astonishment, how lost I was in this conversation. “The one with the spacious living room and with the garden in the back, in the cul-de-sac. I still remember your excitement when you saw that room upstairs and shared your plans of turning it into a library. That was a fantastic idea!”

            I blinked, frowning even harder, and looked through the window for Oliver and Noah.

            “The house Noah and Oliver revisited when you were working,” Amelia added.

            It couldn't be. 

            Amelia repeated my name a couple of times when I didn't say anything. 

            I shook my head. 

            “Yes, yes, I'm here. Sure,” I forced myself to say, because I didn't know what else to say. “Um, we're on vacation right now. I guess when we get back next week we can stop by and pick up the keys.” 

            “Perfect. We've sent a copy of the signed papers to both Oliver's and Noah's email. If you have any questions or need anything else, please don't hesitate to give us a call.”

            “No, of course. We will. Thank you.”

            My hand was trembling as I placed the phone back on the counter. My mind was racing with thoughts, grappling with the implications of Amelia’s words—the sudden reality of a house, our house, in Los Angeles, already paid for. 

            In that moment of disorientation, a fresh morning breeze made its way into the house, followed by Oliver’s radiant presence and the sound of his laugh. Noah wasn’t far behind. They were dressed in their swimming trunks and simple white t-shirts, exuding a carefree energy and carrying with themselves the scent of nature, their hair moving swiftly with the wind. 

            They appeared almost ethereal, like angels descending into the room.  

            The morning light filtered through the windows as Oliver stretched his arms towards me in greeting, his graceful features illuminated momentarily before dropping at the sight of my expression.

            “Hey. What’s with that face?”

            “Did something happen?” Noah asked, sensing something amiss, too. 

            “I’m not sure,” I replied. “I just got off the phone with… Amelia,” my gaze flicked towards Oliver’s iPhone resting on the counter. “She said that we can drop by her office anytime to pick up the keys of the house.”

            After a moment of silence, Noah cursed under his breath.

            “Shit.” 

            Oliver took another moment to reply, his shoulders sagging as he licked his lips and placed a hand on his hip while sharing a quick concerned, disappointed look with Noah. 

            “You were not supposed to find out about the house until we were all in Los Angeles,” he admitted. 

            I frowned because there were no plans of being the three of together in los Angeles any time soon. That’s why we had planned this trip to Cumbria as soon as our days off coincided. 

            “We don’t even know when that’s going to be,” I said.  

            Considering their packed schedules, this short vacation was the only opportunity for the three of us to be together before our commitments to work pulled us apart again and Noah and Oliver drowned themselves in work. I also had to return to my job. I wished I could be on holiday for longer, but unfortunately, the demands of everyday life kept me tied to my mundane job in L.A.

            “Yes, we do,” Oliver corrected. “I’m flying with you and Noah back to L.A. next week.” He allowed me a moment to take it all in. His words carried a mixture of excitement and anticipation that was contagious, but my confusion and disbelief at the recent revelation were bigger. “I have a month off, and I planned on spending it with you two so that we could go through the moving-in process together and get everything sorted before I have to come back here for work. We thought that a month would be time enough to work on whatever needs fixing in the house and maybe make some changes. Painting the walls, work on the garden, converting that room with the garden-facing windows into the studio you mentioned wanting, and…”

            “Wait. Wait, slow down,” I interjected, raising a hand and feeling a whirlwind of emotions stirring inside me. “This is… I don’t understand.”

            “Why don’t we sit down?” Noah suggested. 

            Taking his cue, I sank into the soft cushions of the sofa, folding my legs beneath me. Oliver settled beside me while Noah remained standing, always unaware of the effect his long frame had on everybody else, especially on those who were sitting. But I could feel his nervous energy as he paced a little. However, despite both their worries, there was an undeniable spark of mischief crossing their expressions every other second. 

            “I thought you had work to do because you’re already over a year delayed on the release of Bring Me’s new album, and you,” I turned to Noah,” your schedule for next month is packed with photoshoots, interviews, and other meetings and stuff.”

            “Well, yeah,” Noah acknowledged, “but one more month isn’t going to hurt anybody, is it?”

            “I’m sure your fans will have something to say about it,” I chided them lightly. 

            “We all have personal matters to attend, so if things have to get postponed, they get postponed. Period,” he concluded. “This is more important.”

            This. Oliver, me, him. 

            “And it’ll be just a month, so that we can finally settle down,” Oliver added, his voice filled with determination and hope. 

            The phrase ‘settle down’ echoed in my mind, confirming that this was not a joke. I blinked repeatedly. 

            “So… Did you really— You bought a house?”

            “We bought you a house, yeah,” Noah confirmed with a smile, his brown beautiful eyes reflecting the depth of his affection. 

            A sarcastic laugh escaped my lips, disbelief mingling with gratitude. 

            “You don’t just buy a house like that. Especially not that house. It was way out of our budget and…”

            “We made some adjustment to the budget,” Oliver clarified, his tone firm yet gentle. He draped an arm on the back of the sofa, his fingers finding a lose lock of my hair. “You really loved that house when we visited it a few months ago, and we thought… after everything you’ve done for us…” 

            “What have I done for you?” I asked, feeling so utterly overwhelmed and undeserving of this. 

            “Doll, are you kidding?” Oliver said, a hint of offense creeping into his voice. “You have to start giving more credit to yourself or we’re going to have a problem here.”

            Ignoring his scold, and unable to shake off the sensations flooding me, I repeated, “You didn’t buy me a house.”

            “Okay, put it as you wish because technically, it’s our house now,” Noah said. “It’s for the three of us, so, if it sounds better to you, we bought us a house.”

            I had a knot in my throat and butterflies in my stomach. 

            “But I didn’t… I couldn’t… I can’t afford it,” I finally protested, my voice trailing off.

            “Who said you have to pay anything? This is a gift from us to you, because we love you and we want to have a place to call our own,” Oliver silenced my objections with a finger. “You threw a huge birthday party for me last November, Jurassic Park-themed,” he continued, a soft smile tugging at his lips at the memory. It had, in fact, required weeks of work to set everything up as I wished. Oliver was a fanatic of the Jurassic Park movies, and I thought it a great idea to celebrate his 38th birthday with dinosaur animatronics and a whole venue decorated as if it was a jungle. “And you were the one who managed to convince Nicholas and Jolly not to prepare anything for Noah’s birthday because he hates celebrating it. Instead, you took him to an escape room, then out for Mexican food, and finally to see the stars from Hollywood Hills because sometimes he’s soppy like that.” 

            Noah giggled at his comment, his eyes sparkling. The honesty and warmth of their words enveloped me, dispelling any doubts. 

            “If it weren’t for you, I’d still be going to bed alone,” Oliver continued, “thinking that I’m too much of a weirdo for someone to love me. And Noah would probably be locked in the studio, ignoring the growing headache in that big head of his.” 

            Noah responded to his comment by punching him in the shoulder, but Oliver’s response was to grab him by the back of his neck and pull him in for a kiss, then gazing deeply into his eyes before turning his attention back to me. 

            “You love me despite all my bullshit,” Oliver said. “You’ve given me a reason to find the purpose that was missing in my life. You brought Noah into my life.”

            “You brought the three of us together, baby,�� Noah added with a soft smile. 

            “We would be a train wreck without you, so the least we could do was to get you the house of your dreams,” Oliver concluded. 

            At this point, tears streamed down my face, my whimpers mixing with laughter of joy. The overwhelming love and appreciation that filled the room leaving me breathless with emotion. 

            “You also bought me that really expensive replica of Tiffany Valentine” I commented. “How much more money are you planning of spending on me?”

            “Our entire bank accounts if that’d make you happy,” Oliver answered, pursing his lips to show that that was the least of his concerns.

            “You know money is not what makes me happy,” I answered, shaking my head. “I just care about being with you, building a life out of moments like the ones we’re spending here.” 

            “Then, there’s no point for this talk,” he added. “We got a house. We’re moving into our new place next week.”

            “We’ll sleep in mattresses on the floor until you select the furniture you want for the bedroom. We’ll let you choose,” Noah announced.

            “Oh, my God.” Reality sank in. Noah crouched down in front of me to wipe the tears for my face. “Okay,” I whispered to myself. “You bought a house. We have a house. This is nuts. It’ll take me a while to process it. I have to tell Jack; he’s going to be strangely happy about this. He’s going to give you both a pat on the back and finally be totally convinced that you love me for something more than just my pussy,” I joked 

            “Already did,” Oliver said. 

            I frowned, realization dawning on me. 

            “Don’t tell me Jack already knew about this.”  

            Both nodded, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to just wrap them both in my arms or throw a pillow to wipe the grins on their faces. They had this planned all along… 

            “You have to promise me something,” I said, turning serious.

            “You name it,” Noah said.       

            “What is it?” Oliver asked. 

            “You’re going to quit this bad habit of making decisions without me.”

            Even if I always benefit from those.

            “Oh, baby, but you love our bad habits.”

            And it had been far too long since I had willingly fallen down the abyss of those. 

Well, this is the end, but not the last time you'll be reading about them. I have a second bonus scene pending to post which I haven't finished yet. It takes place between BONUS SCENE I and THE EPILOGUE, and it focuses on the reader's brother's engagement party. There are some hints at what transpired during that evening in this epilogue, did you catch them? 🤭

And again, thank you so much to every single one of you that took the time to read this, reblog, and comment. It's been a wild ride.

Taglist: @girlfromrussia-universe | @oro-e-diamanti | @lma1986 | @missduffsblog | @bngurngheart | @winterwinchester | @jilliemiw86 | @sorrowsofsilence | @th4t-em0-k1d | @to-be-written | @thescarlettvvitch | @nonamessblog | @somebodyels3 | @starsomens | @ditto66 | @dominuslunae | @cookiesupplier | @midnight-eternals | @pennysky | @iknownothingpeople | @cncohshit | @ladyveronikawrites | @blackveilomens | @robabankfuckmickeymouse | @kageyasma | @concretedaddy2018 | @silentglassbreak | @thescarlettvvitch | @sammyjoeee | @pathion

[motivationisdead]

Why Can’t I Just Write Cute Scenes? Why Do Things Need To Have A Plot? The Injustice.

“Are you okay Wei-gongzi?” Wen Ning asks worriedly, wringing his hands together, because undead corpse or not he’s still one of the nicest people Wei Wuxian has ever met. Maybe the most honestly.

Wei Wuxian points his spoon at him. “You’re my new favorite,” he declares like this is the greatest honor. “Sorry A-Yuan, you’ve been replaced.”

A-Yuan blinks big watery eyes up him. “Xian-gege doesn’t like me anymore?” He asks, voice wobbly, and Wei Wuxian immediately feels like the worst kind of monster imaginable. Which is pretty in line with what the rest of the cultivation world thinks of him.

“No, no,” Wei Wuxian hurries to reassure. “I like A-Yuan very much.”

A-Yuan stares at him—looking remarkably like Wen Qing when she’s judging Wei Wuxian’s sincerity—before nodding seriously in acceptance. “I like Xian-gege too,” he declares earnestly.

Wei Wuxian is dead. Dead.

In revenge for his cuteness Wei Wuxian tickles his sides briefly just to make him giggle before wrapping him up in a hug. Wei Wuxian loves him so much. Wen Qing watches them indulgently with a look that could almost be considered fond.

***

“I don’t understand,” Wei Wuxian says again.

“What else is new?” Wen Qing mutters, heartless in the face of Wei Wuxian’s suffering.

Wei Wuxian pouts at her. “I’m serious!”

“That would be a first,” Wen Qing deadpans.

“Wen Ning! Your sister is bullying me!” Wei Wuxian whines childishly.

Wen Qing pinches the bridge of her nose like she has a headache. Funny. Lan Qiren made almost that exact same expression every time he interacted with Wei Wuxian.

Wen Ning just ducks his head like he used to when he was alive and trying to hide a smile.

A-Yuan frowns. “Xian-gege is being bullied?”

Wei Wuxian puts on his most pitiful expression and nods like he’s been greatly wronged. “Your Qing-jie is very mean.”

A-Yuan, with a cutely determined expression, stands on his chair and reaches over to pat the part of Wei Wuxian’s head that he can reach like Wei Wuxian often does to him. “There, there Xian-gege,” he comforts, far too sincere.

It’s too cute. It’s way too cute. How can someone this cute exist?

Wei Wuxian pulls A-Yuan into a hug—which is the only appropriate response—and A-Yuan happily returns the gesture. “That’s it,” he declares, “I’m stealing you away for myself.”

“Noooo,” A-Yuan protests, giggling.

“No?” Wei Wuxian prods, poking A-Yuan’s cheek and eliciting more laughter. “Why not? You don’t want to spend time with me?”

A-Yuan vigorously shakes his head in denial. “Xian-gege would get lonely with just the two of us,” he explains solemnly.

Honestly, this kid. It’s like he’s trying to send Wei Wuxian into an early grave.

As if in agreement his heart seems to just give up, flopping about uselessly in his chest which suddenly feels too tight. Wei Wuxian swallows thickly, eyes burning as he holds this precious child close to his heart where it’s safe.

“Ah, maybe you’re right A-Yuan,” Wei Wuxian murmurs into his hair, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

[backtothefanfiction]

WHAT BENNY DOESN’T KNOW | Chapter 2

A TRIPLE FRONTIER STORY

Summary: Santiago takes you home after Benny’s birthday drinks. Neither of you could have planned what happens next.

Warnings: Mature 18+ ONLY!! All aboard the smut train, next stop feels station. This chapter features strong language and scenes of a sexual nature, I’m talking watermelon sugar high (oral, female receiving), mentions of sex.

Word Count: 3950

A/N- Here’s chapter two featuring our boy Santiago Garcia. This is the event that kicks off this whole shit show. I had so much fun writing this and hope you enjoy reading it. As always, although I have read through this multiple times, I do a lot of my work in the early hours of the morning so some mistakes may have slipped through the cracks. Anyway... enjoy!

CHAPTER TWO | 3 YEARS AGO

“Ow Benny, you kicked me.” You shouted over the music of the bar that was blaring around you.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry.” Benny mumbled as he climbed back into the booth beside his brother, flinging his arm out to wrap around him, almost hitting him in the face. Everyone at the table watched as Will narrowly dodged his younger brothers fist. “Uhhgg this has been the best birthday ever.” Benny drunkenly shouted as he slumped against his brother's shoulder.

“I should probably get him home.” Will shouted over the music.

“Uhhh buzzkill.” Benny groaned, but he was beginning to lose consciousness and everybody laughed.

“Come on, I'll help you get him to the car.” Frankie said as he began to try and slide out of the booth. You felt the seat dip as he got up from where he'd been sat beside you. You slid into his spot allowing you and Santi, who had been squeezed up together with Fish on that side of the table, to spread out more. “Come on birthday boy.” Frankie said, reaching across the booth on the other side of the table to haul Benny up so Will could get out and they could all go.

You politely got up to give hugs and kisses on cheeks goodbye. Santiago slid across his seat so he could shake hands from a better position without actually having to get up. “You're such a lazy old man.” you teased him as he slid back into the booth allowing you to sit down again when your friends had gone.

“It's my knees.” He said in response. You also said  his famous line at the same time, mimicking him and his usual answer you knew so well. “Seriously Querida?” he raised his eyebrows at you before giving you a playful jab in your side and making you giggle. You reached forward for your drink to take a sip of it through the straw, a playful look in your eyes.

Santi reached for his beer bottle he had been nursing most of the night in front of him. There was barely anything left. He knocked back the rest of it before slamming the empty bottle back onto the table. He watched you intently as you continued to sip on your drink, which was mostly just melted ice now. “You quite finished?” he asked you, his eyebrows motioning to the glass in your hand. “You want to get out of here?” you silently nodded your response and he grabbed your jacket from where it had been pushed up into the corner of the booth beside him. You took that as your queue to get up and he held out the jacket for you as he came to a stand, a small groan escaping from his lips as his knees finally stretched out after being sat for so long.

You turned your head back to him as you flicked your hair out, fixing the jacket collar with your fingers. You shot him a smile and he placed a protective hand at the small of your back as he lead you outside.

The air outside was crisp and made you giggly. “Come on giggles.” Santi said as you leant into him, his arm coming around you firmly, leading you towards his truck.

You kicked off your shoes, pulling your legs up onto the seat with you, getting comfy for the ride home. You watched Santiago walk around the front of the truck and climb into the drivers seat. “Really?” he questioned when he saw you.

“What? I took my shoes off.” he let out a low chuckle as he shook his head climbing into the truck.

As he pulled out of the parking lot he looked over to you. He could tell you were thinking about something but he wasn't sure what it was, he was about to ask you when you said, “Can we go back to yours? I'm not ready to go home yet.”

“Yeah, of course.” You were both silent again as you watched him take the next right towards his house instead of left towards your own.

------

The paving stones beneath your feet were cold as you climbed down from Santi's truck. You were feeling a little more sober now but you still couldn't muster up the energy to put your shoes on just to walk from the truck to his house. Santiago walked ahead of you up the path to open his front door. You slammed the passenger door shut and began making your way up the path. The trucks lights behind you flashed as Santiago hit the button on his keys to lock the doors and the truck made a small beep. You had been so distracted by your own thoughts, it made you jump, your shoes slipping out of your fingers, hitting the ground and a small yelp escaped your lips. Santiago turned to see your hand clutched over your chest and he chuckled. You picked up your shoes, throwing one at him. It missed, flying past his shoulder and in through the now open front door behind him.

“Don't laugh at me.” you whined sticking out your bottom lip as he let you pass him into the small house first.

“I'm sorry.” he said, his head tilting in mock sympathy, “I didn't realise that me locking my truck was so scary.”

“Uhhhhg noooo.” you whined as you made your way over to his sofa, falling back on it over the arm rest, your legs dangling over the side. You suddenly propped yourself up to look at him as he closed the front door. “Don't you dare tell the others.” your voice blurted out urgently in panic as he turned to face you.

“Sorry too late.” Santiago said reaching into his pocket for his phone.

“Santi NO!” you squealed, flying off the sofa, running to tackle the phone out of his hand. He mocked you by lifting it above his head so you couldn't reach it. You continued to laugh between fake noises of struggle as you played along. “Santi give me the phone.”

“Nope. Not happening.” he mocked, pushing your arms down with his free hand.

“Santi, give me the phone.”

“You want it, just take it.” he said, his hand never lowering. He laughed at you as you continued trying to stretch up for it. You even moved around to try and climb up his back to get it. He kept passing it between his hands away from your grasp.

You finally gave in with an exasperated grunt, stepping back, placing your arms across your chest. “Fine.”

“Fine?” he questioned, his eyebrows rising.

“Negotiation time.”

“Ahhh there it is.” he says going to take a seat on the arm rest of the sofa.

“What's it gonna take for you to not tell the boys.”

“Hmmmm....” he brought his hand up to his chin, playing along. You began to take a few steps towards him as he thought over his demands. “How about a kiss?” he said catching you off guard and making you stop in your tracks.

He watched as you thought it over. “Fine.” you quickly conceded and began to step forward to give him a quick peck.

“Uh, Uh, Uh.” he said holding a hand up in front of you to stop you. He could read you like a book. “A proper kiss. It has to last at least 7 seconds.”

“Why 7 seconds?”

“Dunno seems like a good enough time for a kiss to last. Any longer for a single kiss feels weird and any shorter, well that's just not a proper kiss.” You take a moment to think over his logic. You'd never kissed any of the guys before, not that you hadn't thought about it. I mean, they were gorgeous. You had just never considered any of them being interested in you back in that way. Then a thought came to you, 'was this Santi's way of making a move?' You shook the thought away, this was Santiago 'Pope' Garcia. This was just him being his usual charming self and doing whatever it took to get a rise out of you.

He raised his eyebrows as if to indicate he was waiting and you quickly checked yourself realising you were getting way too in your head about this. “Fine.” the word fell out of your mouth before you even realised what you had actually just agreed to. You took a final step forward closing the space between the two of you, your body reacting quickly, not giving you a chance to back out.

Your eyes followed him as he stood up, his hands finding a place on either side of your face. “Remember, 7 seconds querida, I'll be counting.” he raised his eyebrows at you. Your head gave a slight nod before he was guiding your lips towards his own. Your eyes closed instantly on contact and your body softened. His lips were soft, moulding against your own like little pillows. They were the perfect temperature, not too warm or too cold. You inhaled deeply through your nose wanting to take in his sent now he was so close and melt into it. You reached your hands up, letting them rest on his arm muscles for support.

Santiago felt you relax against his fingers, the corner of his mouth pulling up into a smile ever so slightly. His brain stopped keeping track after only 4 seconds. He moved his lips slightly, trying his luck, wanting to deepen the kiss. He inhaled through his nose triumphantly when your lips followed suit. His hands, either side of your face, became tenser as he pulled you even closer into the kiss, his lips and their movements becoming firmer. He almost lost it when a small gasp escaped your mouth.

He boldly took a step back, guiding you with his hands and lips as he pulled the two of you back towards the sofa. You both paused as the backs of his knees hit the couch cushion behind him. You broke the kiss, opening your eyes to look at him but didn't pull away. You bit your bottom lip slightly as you looked into his eyes, taking a moment. 7 seconds had clearly long passed, but the look in both your eyes was clear, neither of you wanted this to stop.

You boldly closed the distance between your lips again, the movement of your lips becoming more intentional as a slight tingle took over them. He let his knees give way and he pulled you on top of his lap onto the couch, your knees finding a place either side of his legs. You felt the tip of his tongue graze your bottom lip, asking for entry and the corners of your lips worked their way into a smile as you happily opened your lips wider, your own tongue coming out to meet his somewhere in the middle.

One of his hands came down to rest on your thigh, his fingertips grasping at the flesh at the edge of your skirt. A rush flowed through your body, ending with a flutter and warmth between your legs. Your body took over then as you slowly began to grind down onto him and his breathing hitched slightly in response. Your lips passionately fought one another for dominance as his hand worked its way up your thigh until it found a home on your ass, flicking the back of your skirt out over his knees. His grasp became firmer as he pulled you closer into him allowing you to feel his growing erection beneath you. You pulled your lips away to let out a gasp. Santi's lips never left your skin as he dragged them across your jaw before using his hand that was still placed at the side of your head, to tilt it back allowing him access to your neck as you breathed in quickly.

Your hands found a home around the back of his neck, your fingers carding through his hair. “Fuck querida.” he growled into your neck as you used your new hold to really grind down into him. You pulled back slightly and he looked up at you from your new position with hungry eyes. The hand he had still had at the side of your head, slid down your body to find a home on your other thigh, before it too worked its way up your leg and found a home on your other ass cheek. Your forehead rested against his as you both gazed into each others eyes, panting heavy, as he used his hands to continue to roll you against his erection.

Your breathing hitched and you let out a moan as the friction from his jeans rubbed against your clothed clit in just the right way. His lips latched back onto yours hungrily, stifling the noise. You could feel the heat between your legs rising, your vagina fluttering with stimulation. Santiago's fingers ghosted under the elastic of your underwear that covered your ass cheeks, pulling them apart, making you both aware of just how wet you'd become. Santi's lips pulled tight with a sneer, his hips rolling up to meet yours.  “Fuck princessa, I want you so bad.” he snarled against your lips.

You're head rolled back in bliss as a response to his words and he began to attack your neck again, his teeth nibbling gently at the flesh before smoothing it over with his tongue and lips. You gasped. “You want it, just take it.” you repeated his own words from earlier back at him breathily.

“Fuck.” he exclaimed before reaching a hand to your face, forcing you to look at him. “You serious?” he asked questioningly. You sucked your lips into your mouth as you gave him a small nod, your eyes blown wide. “Fuck.” he mumbled again to himself before latching back onto your lips, the moment you had relaxed them again.

You felt the world suddenly shift as he lifted you up and flipped you around, sitting you on the couch. He removed his lips from your own, kissing down your jaw. Your head relaxed against the back of the sofa, your eyes closing in bliss, as he continued to move his lips down your neck. You felt him shift backwards as he knelt down on the floor in front of you, his hands finding a home on your hips as he buried his face into your chest. His teeth and lips nibbled and sucked at the flesh as his hands moved down from your hips, sliding down your thighs before moving up your skirt. He hooked his fingers around the waist band of your underwear and began pulling them down. He pulled his mouth away from your breasts. “I want to taste you querida.” he said as he removed your underwear from your legs.

You tilted your head down to watch him as he threw your underwear behind him, his now free hands moving back up your legs to lift up your dress. “Holy shit.” he said as he got a full look at your pussy already wet and ready for him. “Just when I didn't think you could get any more perfect.” he said leaning forward to nip at the inside of your thighs. He shifted his hands on your hips and pulled you closer to the edge of the sofa, closer to his waiting mouth. His breath was warm against your lips and you squirmed slightly in anticipation. It wasn't much, but it was enough for Santiago's grip on your hips to become firmer, holding you in place.

“Oh fuck.” you cried out as his tongue suddenly caught you by surprise, licking a stripe upwards through your folds, the tip of it flicking against your clit before he sucked it inbetween his lips. Your response made him growl deep in his throat, the vibrations passing through his lips, buzzing against the sensitive bud. You rolled your head back again as you let out a moan.

Santiago pulled away slightly, adjusting himself, before reattaching his mouth to your pussy again. “Oh my god.” you moaned, one hand coming to rest on his head, your fingers lacing between the curls, as his tongue continued to explore you.

You stayed like that for a few long minutes, Santiago only using his tongue to ravish you. His pressure and technique constantly changed, working you up slowly making your breathing heavy. Every now and again he'd pay extra attention to your clit, flicking it quickly with the tip of his tongue before once again sucking it in between his lips, over stimulating you just enough to make you squirm but never long enough for you to find any actual release. The third time he did that you decided you'd had enough. As he released your clit from his lips with a small pop you grabbed his curls tightly forcing him to look up at you. “Stop teasing me.” your voice was commanding. A shit eating grin spread out across his face and he let out a small chuckle.

“As you wish.” he raised his eyebrows, teasing you once more. You were about to bite back with another comment when you felt two of his fingers thrust into your wet core.

“Fuck.” you squealed, more than satisfied with finally having something to actually fill the aching hole. Santi chuckled again before licking your clit back into his mouth once more.

His fingers began to move agonisingly slowly as he gently stretched you out, his mouth still preferring to do the bulk of the work as his tongue focused on your clit. As he curled his fingers against the inside walls of your dripping cunt, he could sense you growing restless. Your breathing was getting shallower and your moans becoming ever more insistent as you felt him drawing your orgasm from you slowly. Santiago could feel you beginning to clench around his fingers and he began to move them faster. He pulled his head back, replacing his tongue with his thumb, circling it around your clit. “Come on baby, I want to see you fucking cum for me.” he said as he sat himself up on his knees.

You latched your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you, capturing his lips in a passionate kiss. His fingers curled up into you even more as he adjusted their speed making you moan into his lips. You pulled your mouth away from his, pressing your forehead firmly against his own, panting furiously, your mouth hanging open, unable to form words. Your hips jerked and your pussy clamped around his fingers as your orgasm took over your entire body. “O-OH F-Fuck!” you stuttered out, finally finding your voice again and it made Santi grunt in satisfaction, a large smile breaking out over his face as he watched you come undone.

Santiago's fingers slowed slightly, helping you work through your release, his other hand pushing your hip further into the couch, holding you down, grounding you. Your lips found one another again as your heaving body attempted to relax once more. Santiago's fingers came to a stop completely, pulling out of you as he felt the final waves of your orgasm leave your body. “Fuck, that was so fucking beautiful.” he exhaled into your lips between kisses. “I have no idea what I did to deserve that, but I want to do it again.” he said his head slumping into your breasts and you giggled.

“I think that can be arranged.” you said playfully.

He lifted his head up to look at you again. “Right now?” he asked, tilting his head. A massive grin broke out over your face.

“Sure...” you started, “-but, not before I've taken care of you.” Santiago could have sworn he'd died and gone to heaven. He hung his head, grinning to himself as you climbed off the sofa and began making your way towards his bedroom. “Hey you coming or not?” you called back down the hall to him. God this was gonna be the best night of his life.

------------

You had woken up in Santiago's house the following morning to find yourself in bed alone. You used the extra space to stretch out your muscles after a long night of bliss. You smiled to yourself, the memory of the five orgasms Santiago Garcia had pulled from your body, still fresh in your mind. It had been a passionate night full of full body massages and cuddles between fucking.  Both of you wanting to make the most of this moment, neither of you sure when you'd get the opportunity again. You both knew you were leaving the country on separate missions in a matter of days.

“Santi?” you called out into the quiet house. There was no response. You furrowed your brow as you climbed from the bed to search for him.

You picked up the clothes you had been wearing the night before and put them on as you padded barefoot around his house. “Santi?” you called out again. He wasn't there. You grumbled to yourself. “Unfucking believable.” you said as you searched the living room for your underwear. “I can't believe he'd just fuck and dash and leave me alone in his own fucking home.”

You found your jacket, searching the pockets for your phone to see if he'd even left you a message. Nothing. You began constructing a strongly worded text message when the sound of the front door unlocking behind you, made you turn around.

Santiago froze in the doorway at the sight of you in his living room. “Oh you're up.” he said. “I didn't want to wake you.” In his hand was a small tray with two cups of coffee in it and clutched desperately in his fingers below it was a large paper bag. “I didn't have anything in, so I popped up the road to grab us something to eat.” he continued, pulling his keys out of the door before kicking it shut with his foot.

You quickly pressed the backspace button on your phone, suddenly feeling foolish for thinking Santiago would treat you the way you thought he had. “You okay?” he asked as he made his way over to a small dining table to place the coffees and bag down.

“Uh, yeah.” you said blinking away the startled expression on your face. He held out one of the coffee cups for you and you tentatively stepped across the room to take it from him. “I'm sorry.” you said shaking your head. “I thought you'd...” your voice trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

“You know I'd never do that to you right?” he said, his eyebrows furrowed. “I mean even if last night hadn't been the best sex of my life.” he paused a moment as he searched your face. “You don't regret it do you?”

“No. No of course not.” you quickly said, feeling the need to defend yourself.

“Good.” he said, turning to reach into the paper bag. “You like croissants right?” he asked pulling one out and handing it to you.

“Yeah, I love croissants.” your voice was soft, a small smile breaking out on your face. You couldn't believe he remembered. “Uh hey Santi?”

“It's okay, I won't say anything to the boys about last night.”

“Thank you.”

Santiago had driven you home after breakfast. You laughed and joked the whole way home, never once talking out loud about the great night you had shared together, but you both kept it at the fore front of your minds, replaying it again and again.

                                          ----------------------------------

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[anlian-aishang]

okay here i am screaming:

the way I AUDIBLY LEGITIMATELY SIGHED at the Levi Ackerman. hnggggggggg

"meets you for the first time" chiiiiiiiiiiiiillllllllllllssssssssssss yet i'm still so warm and fuzzy inside asdfgdsjfklsdf

scars 👀👀👀

love me a man who swings a sword at me upon first sight. ITS MEET CUTE OKAY 🥰🥰🥰

oh no ZEKE is here 😭 but MAYBE it will be birch's zeke, in which case, welcome to the fic sir 🤗

OKAY it seems like it's birch's zeke what a nice guy!!!!!!! except we are not going to look at him because levi is here 😎

"teach me how to fight" ARE WE GONNA FIGHT HIM!!!!!!!!!

"it's Levi, Levi Ackerman." YES it is <333333333

OH NO HE DID NOT JUST SAY THAT!!!!!!! "learning to sew or something" LEVI NO. BAD!!!!!!!!

okay plz excuse the political commentary but isn't it SAD that this princess in birch's fic takes more classes about foreign policy and developing legislature than ACTUAL IRL politicians 😭

"Let's fight, princess." LEVI YOU CAN'T SAY THAT TO ME. Is this part of his tactic?? Does he know that if he says this to me, I will instantly melt into a puddle and rendered utterly defenseless?? he must know.

when he drew his second sword i thought of your minecraft sprite :'D

"He's panting now though, with sweat running down his forehead and neck, disappearing behind the silver chainmail covering his chest. The sun just barely catches his left eye as he gazes at you, and it glows like a hot ore on a fire." I don't need to say anything. I think I am incapable of saying anything.

I MIGHT just have to write an entire royal AU JUST so I can have levi call me princess a million times HONESTLY.

“You have no idea what you’re signing up for, princess,” UMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

<<intermission while anlian trudges back to essay-writing>>

OUCH LEVI LOL OMG THAT SNEAK ATTACK WHAT A LIL SHIT LOL

“As I said, princess, you’ve got no idea what you’re in for” BIRCH I CANNOT I AM GOING TO - [redacted]

omg i am crying at my inability to read becauSE i saw "form your fists into balls." and I was like "WE'RE GONNA PUNCH HIS BALLS???"

OMG WE PUNCHED HIM IN THE FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and he's still gonna love us tho :D

ANLIAN'S INABILITY TO READ RETURNS. saw "let me at least get some ice for you so it doesn’t bruise as badly" but "as badly" looked like BABY. and i was like DID WE JUST CALL HIM BABY!!!!! ~sighhh~ i am down so bad

men hissing in pain... birch... did you know me that well. am i too obvious. have i outed myself.

But up close… you were pretty. 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

owie owie owowow ouchieeeeeee weviiiiiiiii

can i just say i am so impressed with your ability to describe this combat scene!! i swear, i cannot write two people kissing without being like "do bodies fit this way??"

WAIT LEVI I THOUGHT YOU FOUGHT CRIME WHERE ARE YOU BABY. LADY A. QUARTER AFTER ONE AND I NEED YOU NOW BABY

oh good he's here :] and he's yelling <3333

“Just hold on, alright?” oh my asfjlkdsfjsfs he is being so NICE to us omg i WILL CRY fjsdklfjfsd i love him

OH MY GOSH WE ARE HOLDING HIS HAND!!!!!!!!!! jfdklsfjsl and also i got chills when he described the way that he remembers his lost loved ones 🥺🥺

FJSDLKJFSF ME - THE SLOWBURN NOVICE - THINKING THAT HE HID A RING IN THE ROSE BUSH ASDFJGLSF

CHILLS. ONCE AGAIN CHILLS AT "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PRINCESS"

it's so bad that everytime they mention a wooden blade, i think of a shitty minecraft sword asdfgjdsflkaj

MISSION IN LIFE OMGGGGGGGGG YES LEVI YES FCK. MAKE ME YOUR MISSION IN LIFE!!!!!!!!!1 fdsfkljdskfldfja i am clutching my heart so hard rn

AS YOU WISH!!!! AS YOU WISH!!! PRINCESS BRIDE QUOTE I FOUND IT!!!!!!!!!!!1 AS YOU WISH <33333

oh my goshhh <333 he is so maaaad <333 that we are meeting a potential suitorrrr <333

HE CALLED US BEAUTIFUL FSFSDFJ FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my gosh IMAGINE holding hands with your dream partner and then having to let go before you meet this dum dum betrothed suitor the ANGST and the FLUFF *chefs kiss*

ewwww noooo not MICHE 😭 no offense miche fans but i just - he was never it foro me lol fjdslkfjs nooooooo

oh my gosh fjdsjfdlsdjf making levi jealous hoooooooooly crap ommmmmmmmmmmmg the THOUGHTS!!!!1

jfjdslajfsfsf hofjdj ohhhhhhhh fjasjf oh em gee birch no ((yes)) you did not put him in the infirmary. my whump ass rn. omg i - okay i definitely must have shown my hand or something. or i am just the luckiest ho alive ahhhhhhhhhhh <33333 knight levi? yes. sick levi? yes. SICK KNIGHT LEVI. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

nooo ewwww miche NOT the "how many kids" question like DAMN how about what's my favorite color? warm up man!!! XD

birch this dress scene... this zipper. damnnnnn. was this what you were talking about when you kept typing TENSION <3 in discord? XD cause if so ACCURATE!!!!

"couldn’t help but wish he was the one swinging you around instead." YES. same levi!!! we are wanting the same things so get ur booty over here already 😤

DADVI!!! DADVI HAS ARRIVED!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!! i swear this fic is hitting every single one of my boxes good gosh all might tee. for instance. levi with kids? yep. levi dancing? yep. levi dancing with a kid?? YEPPPPPPPPP

i thought he was gonna KISS USSSS When he pulled us behind the standddddd <333 once again, me being a slowburn noob hahaha

"Your heart….  Yearned for someone like Levi. Your hands itched to grasp more than just his arm walking to and from a lecture. Your soul hungered for the conversations of intellect and familiarity. Your lips thirsted for his landing on yours." damn birch this paragraph HITSS!!!!!

"Every feature of his face, you knew, though. Levi was like the dog-eared fold in your favorite book, the paper worn smooth from how many times you flipped it open. He was like your favorite line when the girl finally let the guy take her out on the town on their first date." ALSO FCKIN GHITS!!!!!

AS YOU WISH!!!!!!!!!!! KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE!!!!!!!!!!1 100/10. 9 MILLION OUT OF TEN. TATTOOING THIS FIC ON MY EYELIDS OUT OF TEN!!!!!!! thank you so much for this birch holy cow <33333333333333333333 i am in love i - MY FINGERS ARE LEGIT SORE but i will comment more in the AM

Summary: A young, naïve princess and a scrappy kid off the streets find themselves at odds, only to form a close connection that could cost the princess's future.

Word Count: 27.5K(...I am so sorry)

Warnings: Slowburn, Enemies to Lovers, Angst, Pining(and a lot of it), Violence, Fighting, Illness(Not Pregnancy), Graphic Description of Death, Blood and Gore, Harsh Language/Swearing, Royalty AU, Happy Ending

A/N: Guys. I have finally finished this fic after it sitting in my drafts for OVER A YEAR! I hope the wait was worth it, please enjoy. Also this isn't beta-ed so if there are any mistakes I apologize😭 -Birch<3

Some Inspirations(full credit to the artists!!!):

Knight Levi (1)

Knight Levi (2)

Knight Levi (3)

It was close to the break of a cool, brisk dawn, and an 18-year-old boy with raven hair was being escorted by the king’s guard. The men of the guard hurriedly ushered him toward the castle gates, hoping to keep the situation quiet.

The boy had just been scooped up from the streets of the small town outside the castle where he had fought against a robbery in the town’s bank. Two large men had been knocked unconscious and tied up outside the front door while he returned the coins to the banker, who was crying uncontrollably, thanking him.

The boy’s name?

Levi Ackerman. He was skimpy, short, and looked like the butt of a joke. Yet from the tallest hill to the deepest valley across the kingdom, he was known as one of the best crime fighters in the nation.

Levi was known for his cunning, stoic nature, as well as his ability to fight with an unnatural quickness on his feet. Never once had he had a run-in with the law, he would send for the guard as soon as he started fighting the criminals. The poor guards men and women would show up to take the criminals away, only getting a quick glance at the small boy saving their town.

That’s why when the royal guard came to find him after the banking skirmish, Levi didn’t resist. He knew he wasn’t in trouble.

As they rode back toward the castle and away from the small village, Levi listened to the guard’s oblivious chatter. They wanted to recruit him to be a part of the royal guard… at the king's request? The thought surprised him, but he didn’t let that show. He knew that if he agreed to be a part of the king’s military force, he would be well taken care of and still be able to serve justice to those who needed it.

The sound of steel horseshoes clicking against the grey and black tiled rocks in the road was barely audible in comparison to the bustle of the town just outside of the castle. Levi was mounted on the back of one of the king's horses, his silver eyes narrow and cautious as he watched everyone hustle around the entourage.

Before he knew it, he was walking away from the life he was accustomed to, and as soon as he made it through the palace gates, his life changed forever. You could say it was almost difficult to keep up, but Levi knew how to quickly adapt.

He's shown the barracks and his sleeping quarters, where he was lucky enough to get a small cot in the corner away from many of the other soldiers. He caught sight of some of the soldiers and their trainees, donning stripes on their armor to show off their rank.

Levi doesn’t quite know what to make of everyone, they are all so happy, so clueless to the outside world, it almost disgusts him. But, he keeps his mouth shut and listens as he gets his tour and settles into his new life.

Bright and early the next morning, he goes to train in the sparring lot with his group of roommates. Several of them had tried to talk to him and learn about his past, but he wasn’t interested in making friends.

He watched several pairs spar without weapons before it was his turn to go. The thing about Levi that surprised all of his opponents was his strength. Despite his smaller size, he could easily surpass and beat his fellow trainees in combat. Between his different styles of movement and his speed, he was untouchable. 

Levi spent the first while at the castle doing what seemed like pointless activities to him. He knew how to unsheath a sword. He knew how to ride a horse. All of the basics were skills he inherently knew from his life on the streets fighting crime.

That's why no one was surprised when he advanced to the group of other guard trainees, who had been at the castle, learning the trade for over a year. It was strange at first, with everyone unsure of the quiet, small boy, but they eventually came to make small chat and he began to fit in.

Time seemed to slide by as fall weather started to set in. Leaves changed from dark, rich greens to playful yellows and tasteful oranges. It’s on one of these fall days, that Levi meets you for the first time. 

You were elegant, graceful, and naive at only 17, out for a walk in one of your many private courtyards. You were out strolling by yourself, as you often did. There were guards littered throughout the palace, so you weren’t too concerned about danger.

You loft around one of your favorite courtyards, the Josephina Garden Hall, blinking through the falling leaves and sighing in happiness at the breeze that floats through, carrying the last of summer’s warmth. In your lackadaisical wandering, you catch sight of a dark-haired boy around the corner.

You stay quiet and you blink in surprise when you realize he is training in your private yard. He's young, you think to yourself as you shift to stand next to some browning thistle bushes. Butterflies erupt in your belly as you take in his shirtless and lean muscular back that is facing you.

Even with his boyish age, Levi is covered in thick, strong muscle, but due to his intense practice routine, he's covered in dirt and some bruises. You could even see the pale gleam of faded scars on his chest and back, and that's when you decided you needed to know who this recruit was.

What kind of guard trainee is this? He looks young, but he seems so experienced, he couldn't have come from one of the lords, you think to yourself as you shakily emerge from your hiding spot.

You roll your shoulders back and down, lifting your chin as you walk as poised as you can. An image of grace, or so you thought. You were youthful and inexperienced, having only just gotten out of a lecture about politics and debate. Your days were spent going to classes, electives, and other menial lessons.

This was your time of day to relax, but the air suddenly changed from inquisitive to tense. Just as you started to approach the dark-haired boy, who was swinging his swords in a practiced sequence, he caught sight of you.

He flips his sword over in his hand, and pivoting on one foot, his blade just grazes your chin to lift it and look deep into your wide (colored) eyes. The slight sting of the blade causes you to jump back, your hands racing to your face to see if he drew blood.

Your heart is pounding in your chest as you pull them back to see just a small droplet on the tip of your fingers, and your breathing is labored as you glare at the raven-haired boy.

Levi holds your stare as well as the stance with his blades and mutters, "Who are you and why are you watching me train?” It's silent for a moment as you process his words, the fading stinging on your chin slowing your brain down. Your mouth parts open, both in offense and shock.

He didn't know who you were.

You swallow thickly as you blink slowly once, trying to regain your composition as you reply, "It doesn't matter. You are training in a private courtyard meant for this kingdom's elite and personal guards."

His silver gaze bores into you for another minute before they roll in annoyance, his swords dropping away from you with an irritated sigh. He takes a small step backward, regaining your gaze without saying a word.

You watch him carefully, slightly nervous before dropping into a shallow curtsy. You look down and murmur, "Excuse me then." Levi takes a step to the side as you walk past him, skirts fluttering as you look straight ahead without a second thought.

Once you're out of earshot, Levi watches you leave and wander into the next garden, disappearing around the corner. Who the hell was that? He thinks to himself but brushes it off and continues with his training.

---

Later that same evening, the other recruits were laughing and chuckling after a hard day of training. Levi walked along behind them, listening to their conversations but never truly taking part in them. 

Everyone was headed back to the barracks, slowly wandering through the outskirts of the castle while trying to not be too loud. He kept one hand on the hilt of his blade, his gaze trailing away from the crowd of trainees in a practiced and calculated manner.

Colt, Porco, and Zeke were leading the group, some of the advanced trainees Levi had come to know. They were cracking jokes and talking about what was for dinner, but Levi didn't care for their conversation. He found more interest in listening to Reiner and Bertholdt who were in front of him.

The two young boys were discussing the upcoming rotations for the guard trainees. Each rotation group was stationed somewhere different around the castle and courtyards, and they rotated every couple of weeks so the guards could defend anywhere they were needed.

Reiner was more worried about who he was going to be stationed to watch, which made Levi roll his eyes, his silver gaze locking onto motion around the upcoming corner.

A split second later, he sees your figure surrounded by a flock of maids on your every side. Then, just a few paces behind them were your two female guards, Pieck and Annie.

His eyes narrow as the pieces click together in his head. He's interrupted when the other male guards he was walking with recognize you. “Good evening, milady,” Colt chirps out, a wide smile on his face as the group comes to a halt.

You had been talking to one of your maids about some kind of fabric for your next dress but were interrupted by the sight of the guards in front of you. You give the men at the front a sweet smile as the group of trainees all drop to one knee in a respectful bow.

All except for one.

The dark-haired boy, you think as he locks eyes with you. You nod silently to the maids, who skirt around all of the men and head toward your quarters. You continue to smile gently as they leave, and you address the trainees with a quiet and pleasant, "At ease soldiers."

Zeke offers you a wide grin and says, “Good evening, princess! Lovely weather we've had today, perhaps we can get some musicians to play in the back courtyard for you after dinner tonight.”

While Zeke is talking, you don't break eye contact with Levi, who is still standing at the back, not kneeling like the rest. You see Reiner elbow Levi in the knee, motioning to kneel in respect, but Levi continues to stare at you.

As Zeke finishes speaking, you shift your gaze to him slowly and agree, "Wonderful idea, Zeke. Please alert some butlers and other maids to gather everyone, especially my family and the lords. Reiner, Porco, join him, please?"

Zeke humbly agrees, as do the others, and you give them a dismissive nod, saying, "Thank you, gentlemen. Make sure to get my favorite violinist!" As the three blondes rise and disappear around the corner you just came from, you are left with Colt and Bertholdt kneeling, and the dark-haired boy still standing.

Levi's eyes are calculating and firm, and you nod to Colt and Bertholdt, relieving them from their bows of respect, heading past you and to the barracks. Colt turns around when he realizes Levi isn't following him but freezes at the showdown playing out in front of him.

You square up with Levi, taking a few steps toward him before he says, “You’re a princess? Makes sense why I caught you so off guard. You were loud, obviously in my line of sight, and an easy target who can’t even protect herself.”

A gasp sounds out as Colt gapes at the harshness of Levi's words, but the dark-haired boy doesn't say anything. And neither do you. You simply stare at where Levi’s head had been moments before as the boy walks past you, brushing past the other trainees. He disappears down the hallway where Colt and Bertholdt had been heading, straight for the barracks. 

Annie and Pieck are still standing behind you, and when you don't move for a second, Pieck rests her hand on your shoulder. "Princess Y/n? Are you alright?"

You don't say anything, but turn to face Annie instead, a snarl now etched onto your usually kind features. There is a fire burning in your (colored) eyes as you give her a cold look and state, "Teach me to fight."

---

The training session with Annie was just coming to an end, with your muscles sore and aching and your chest heaving to catch your long-gone breath. It was a long and brutal session, as Annie wasn't forgiving and it was warm as could be outside despite it being the middle of fall.

It didn't help that you were in your new fitted armor that Pieck helped you choose - it was heavy and there were many layers to keep you protected. There was a well-fitting breastplate that was engraved with your family’s name and emblem, cuffs for your forearms, and even protective plates for your calves, thighs, and biceps.

It was intricate and beautiful, with each piece perfectly tailored to your body. The one downside - it was heavy. With the rays of the autumnal sun beating down and carrying the extra weight you weren't used to, it was tough on your body.

Annie being a deadly threat didn't really help either, but at least her blade was only a wooden practice sword.

Her weapon came down fast and hard in a never-ending wave of attacks that were perfectly timed, accurate, and most of all, deadly.

With a fast nudge from her wooden blade, your sword easily flew to the ground, clattering against the hard-packed dirt. You were out of breath, with your hair all mussed up and grime smudged across your cheek from your hours of practice.

Silver eyes were watching from a distance in the trainee’s practice area, but you were too tired to notice anything. Instead, you were focused on Annie, who was holding her own sword up to your throat, much like Levi did two weeks ago.

"You've got a long way to go," is the only thing she says. You sigh deeply as she takes a step back and drops her sword, turning to walk away.

"I'm going to clean up, Pieck is here to watch you," Annie calls over her shoulder as she sheaths her practice blade back into her belt, and you give her a feint wave as you locate Pieck near the edge of the training field.

You watch as Annie’s blonde head disappears behind some shrubbery before slumping unceremoniously to the ground, a groan falling from your lips.

A few pants escape you as you close your eyes, a wave of exhaustion flooding over you. You try to calm the erratic beating of your heart and slow your breathing down as a light breeze begins to blow through. Leaves stir up on the ground, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

While your eyes are closed, everything somehow seems to get darker, and the breeze seems to stop just a moment later. Your (colored) eyes flutter open and up, leaving you face-to-face with the dark-haired boy.

You groan again and move to get up as Levi glimpses down at you and he states blankly, "You need practice." You shuffle to your feet shakily, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath before opening them and answering him with, “Yes. I know. Thank you, soldier.” 

“It’s Levi,” he cuts you off firmly, "Levi Ackerman.”

You squint at him silently, leaning down to pick up your fallen sword without a word. A small puff of air leaves your mouth as your hand wraps around the hilt of the blade and you mutter, “Well, Levi Ackerman, I’m practicing, and you should be too.”

The dark-haired boy simply scoffs and says “I'm already better than you in all aspects of combat, you need the practice more than anything. I’m not even sure why you’re out here, shouldn’t you be learning how to sew or something?”

Your hand falters on the grip of your sword for a second before your gaze hardens and you snap, “As you said, I need to learn to protect myself, and I'm working toward that goal.”

You don't hesitate a moment after that, choosing to turn away from him and follow Annie to wherever she had disappeared. Levi is left standing behind you as you storm away, quiet as he takes in your retreating appearance.

Pieck had caught sight of your small spat with Levi, and as she followed you out of the practice field, she shot an icy glance toward the dark-haired recruit.

---

Your days were endlessly busy, and you were the most exhausted you had ever been in your entire life, with meetings with potential princes, lords, and suitors, going to your lessons to learn about foreign policy, hosting balls, developing legislature, and more. 

On top of that, you were still determined to train with Annie and Pieck when you had a moment free. Annie focused on teaching you sword techniques and improving your reaction time, while Pieck focused on sequences and how to use them while in a fight.

You were slowly improving with every day you practiced. You were becoming leaner, and building more muscle. You were less quick to tire, you didn’t lose your breath as much, and you were getting to the point where you could occasionally match Annie’s blows. 

Your mother and father weren’t so sure about you learning to fight, but your elder brothers had all learned, so they accepted that it was something you wanted to do. Your mother thought it was “unladylike”, but your father thought it was a good idea that you knew the basics of protecting yourself if you needed to.

"Slow!” Annie's yell comes at you as she spins and slashes her sword toward your ribcage, her aim constantly perfect. You manage to dodge her attack before you parry your blade against hers, using your body weight to push her back a step.

The two of you were sparring in one of the private courtyards this particular day, while Pieck stood guard not too far off.

The two of you circled each other before Pieck called out, “I think that's enough for today, you two, Annie, it's time for us to go on patrol. Colt and Porco will be on guard while we are gone.”

You were in an intense staring battle with Annie, who breaks her gaze away from yours to nod at Pieck. You groan and whine out, “But Pieck, I'm not tired yet, I can still practice for another hour!”

Quiet footsteps behind you make your head turn, and you suddenly see a blade coming down toward your face. A flash of fear runs through you, and you instantaneously react, bringing your sword up to catch the opposing blade.

You just barely catch it in time, and you realize your heart is pounding in your chest as the initial rush of adrenaline burns off. Shock is evident on your face as your lips part in a gasp and your eyes widen, but you soon frown when you are met with that new yet familiar silver gaze.

"Then let's fight for another hour," the low voice comes. 

Annie and Pieck had both drawn their swords, just to find the dark-haired boy named Levi was the assailant. Dressed in his practice armor, the silver metal covering his body reflected the same color as his eyes. 

One of his swords was drawn, the blade pushing down on your own, leaning toward your face. You could see the concentration in his brow, but you weren’t about to give up and lose. Stalemate it is then, you think to yourself as you brace against Levi.

At that moment, Colt and Porco walk into the yard, suited up in their new armor, their eyes wide when they catch sight of you and Levi. Pieck sighs and walks over to them, briefly giving them the rundown of events before she and Annie leave for their patrol. 

Colt and Porco, each respectively, take a position on either side of the yard, giving you and Levi plenty of room to fight. When your eyes meet Levi’s again, you find him with what could be considered a smirk resting on his lips.

"Let's fight, princess.”

At that, he pushes his blade off of you in a sudden burst of energy, spinning away quickly to avoid any counterattack from you. This gives you time to draw your sword in an effective manner to combat his every blow.

Levi draws his second sword, now dual-wielding in the style that no one seemed to be able to replicate. You grit your teeth and go after him swinging, allowing the metal of your blade to clash against his, your footsteps shuffling in the fine gravel and dirt. Your hair was falling out of the already messy ponytail it had been in, the (colored) locks falling into your eyes.

You felt unkempt, wild, and stronger than you ever had before. And this time when you were fighting, you had the physical strength to show it.

While you were on the muscle and ready to attack at every movement, Levi was at ease, effortlessly matching your blows; twisting and flipping just out of range of your blade.

Eventually, Levi starts to get the upper hand, and without you realizing it, he gets you backed up and pinned to the wall. In an instant, one of his blades flicks yours to the ground before being pointed at your throat, while his other one comes up to point at your belly.

He's panting now though, with sweat running down his forehead and neck, disappearing behind the silver chainmail covering his chest. The sun just barely catches his left eye as he gazes at you, and it glows like a hot ore on a fire.

It's silent between you two, your blade is on the ground so there is no way to defend yourself, and your hands are by your sides. At that moment, you are out of breath, beaten, with nothing to say for yourself.

Levi pauses for a moment before dropping his swords and resheaths them, one on his back and the other at his hip. He takes a deep breath through his nose and gives you a small, shallow bow and a quiet mumble of, “Better.”

He takes a few swift steps back and jogs out of the yard, giving Colt a simple nod before disappearing toward the barracks. You're left standing there, dazed, as you watch his armor glitter and dance in the disappearing rays of sunlight.

You hardly notice it, but a faint flush has covered your face, and as you touch your cheek, you realize it's warm.

---

The sun had sunk below the horizon and the coolness of the full autumn nights was bone-chilling. While you had gotten cleaned after some flower arranging and training exercises that afternoon, there was a part of you that wanted to get messy.

So, you decided to go to the forges and clean your practice gear. The plates had been coated with mud and grass from the numerous times you hit the ground while sparring Annie, and there was no doubt dust caked onto the cloth from the dirt Levi kicked up when he surprised you.

It was late in the evening, several hours after dinner, and one of the times of the day that you were allowed to be alone for just a few minutes. Not wanting to make a scene, you chose to go to one of the smaller forge rooms, one that you knew not many people used.

You took a few moments, setting up a few candles on the workbench and lighting them, stoking the fire in the hearth to warm up the small workshop. There were several tables set up in the room, embroidered cloths carrying the royal insignia, others holding stacks of bent swords and dented plates of armor.

On your workbench, someone had left out a few delicate trinkets and other lightweight tools, and you find yourself smiling at the meaning behind them. A small forged flower? Perhaps for a lover back home, you wonder to yourself as you gently move it to the far side of the table.

You can’t help but sigh in happiness at the quiet sounds of the workshop; the crackle of the small fire burning in the hearth of the forge, the distant sounds of drunk men happy with their work for the day, and even the call of a spotted owl hooting in the distance.

The ability to be alone for a few minutes was much appreciated after the clashing of swords all afternoon, and you quietly start to work on polishing your armor as a warm, orange glow begins to fill the room. The faint smell of wood smoke fills the air, accompanied by the dark and rich aroma of the oil used to clean your armor and blade.

Time seems to tick by slowly, and you don’t even realize there is moonlight shining through the window until the sound of footsteps approaching catches your attention. Your (colored) orbs are snatched away from the rhythmic movement of polishing your thigh plate at the noise and you cease motion as you look to see who it is.

As you turn to face the entrance to the forge, you are met with the shadowed face of Levi, who when he notices you, his eyes widen ever-so-slightly and he bows in recognition and murmurs, “Princess”.

You can feel your eyes narrow in immediate suspicion at the sudden respect he is showing you. He quietly walks past you, moving to sit at the table closest to the forge, the two of you facing each other, yet tables apart.

You notice he is carrying his own gear, and you soften the intensity of your expression and answer him with a short, "Good evening, Levi,” before returning to your thigh plate with the small rag.

It’s quiet for another moment, but the simple silence that had once surrounded you has grown thick and uneasy. You could feel yourself shifting on the bench you were sitting on, realizing you were in a much more casual outfit than you typically wore. It wasn't nearly as extravagant as your day-to-day dresses, but you still felt comfortable enough to be seen by your guards and maids. 

So with it being Levi sitting in the same forge as you, it made you uneasy. You watch him pull a stool out from the corner of your eye, the wooden legs scratching against the ashen ground near the forge’s mouth. What had been a harmonious sound from the forge becomes the sharp hiss of logs burning and the soft zings of metal being wiped clean and sharpened.

You feel the need to say something, anything, and so you mumble carefully, "You fought well today.” You dunk your rag in more oil, (colored) eyes cast down toward your hands. You can feel Levi’s heated gaze snap onto your frame, and the intensity of them is like daggers digging into your sides.

"I fight well every day,” he almost snarls. You feel your heart practically jump to your throat at the harshness of his tone, and you keep your eyes on cleaning a piece of mud off of a shoulder pauldron. Suddenly you feel foolish for saying something, and it's quiet for another moment before he pipes back up.

“But thank you," he murmurs, softer this time, "You are getting better, some of your combinations are pretty good.”

His words are simple, and straight to the point. They show no signs of being impressed or disappointed, it was like he was simply stating your fighting abilities like they were facts. Your cleaning motions completely stop as you process his words, and you can’t stop yourself from looking up to view his lithe figure. 

Levi is working on cleaning his dual blades when your gaze lands on him, and he doesn't look up when your eyes find him. He doesn’t even seem bothered that he gave you what could be taken as a compliment, especially with how he has acted toward you.

But this is the first time you truly get to lay eyes on the scrappy boy, taking in his limber build. He's not large. Everything about him seems to be small, regardless of the obvious muscling on his frame. 

You know he's strong despite his size, and he is lethally fast, which proves to be a deadly combination. The boy sitting across the room from you has something about him that sets him apart, and you just can’t put your finger on what it is.

As you go back to cleaning your armor, you try to piece together a possible backstory for him. You know he didn’t live in the town connected to the castle, no one here knew him. He was around your age, and he knew how to fight, but he wasn’t from a royal or respected family.

You look up from your gear, setting everything off to the side and you state out of nowhere, “Levi, I want you to train me.”

It's quiet again, and you can feel your heart pounding in your chest as you wait anxiously. You then hear his blades hit the wooden table in a sudden clatter, drawing your gaze to the intricately designed swords. 

No one else had swords like him. Custom designed, but embellished with the royal insignia, they were specifically made for his fighting style. You had wondered about them, and why your parents would allow for a random boy to have custom swords if he were just to be joining the guard.

You pause for a moment, thinking about how you made a major mistake asking this of him, and you look up to meet his gaze. And now, he's looking at you.

The expression on his face is one you don't know how to digest. He always seemed to look mad, bored, or sad when you watched him from a distance, but now you had no idea how to get a read on him. If you were to say what he looked like, you thought that he looked excited. 

Levi stands up from his stool, the wood once again scraping against the ash-covered floor. His boots crunched on the thin layer of ash, but he didn’t seem to mind as he secured his blades on the table. 

He moves with a grace you never noticed and he walks around the edge of your table to lean his hands on it directly across from you. 

“No,” he says, his gaze still unreadable. You blink up at him, your fingers nervously weaving together in and out before you plead, “Teach me, there is no way I can get better if I don’t learn.”

You can feel his disbelief when he tuts and pushes off the table to stand up straight, looking down at you. His arms move to cross his chest and he responds again, “No, I’m not going to teach you.”

A wave of frustration washes over you and you stand up and frown before spitting out, “You have to!” Levi rolls his eyes and sighs, “I don’t have to do anything.”

You walk around the edge of the table to get closer to him and you point your finger at his chest and bark out, “You have to listen to me, I am your superior!” Levi smacks your finger away with his hand and is quiet for a moment.

His gaze shifts, and suddenly you can read his expression again. A challenge. His eyes become steely in the light of the forge, and you can see them flicker between your eyes, down your frame to your boots, and back up again.

You suddenly feel too warm standing there, and you uncomfortably shift side to side as you feel him silently judge you. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Here I am in clothes not suitable outside of my quarters, this guy is judging me after beating me today, and I’m begging him to train me. Get it together! The words flood into your mind as you stand there, and you cross your arms over your chest to try to cover up in insecurity.

“What’s in it for me?” he asks coolly, his gaze boring into yours as he awaits a response. You blink in disbelief and stutter, “Uh, uhm, I don’t know. What do you want?”

Levi rolls his eyes and walks back over to his gear, sliding the swords back into their sheaths. He folds up his armor and puts it back into a leather bag that he brought it in. He seemed dismissive and you were racking your brain before an idea caught in your brain.

“Land!” you call out loudly, before covering your mouth. Levi freezes and turns to look at you with one of his brows lifted in question. You take a quick breath and continue, “Land, for your family, here around the castle. That way you can see them whenever you want.”

Levi continues to put his stuff away and replies blankly, “My family is dead. I am alone.” A pit builds in your stomach and you usher out, “I’m sorry, I had no idea.” Levi glances at you and shrugs, “I’ve worked alone since I was a child.”

You are quiet again and let him walk past you toward the mouth of the forge. Just as he’s about to leave you mutter, “Please, Levi. I want to learn.”

He pauses behind you at the door, your backs facing each other. It’s quiet, with just the sound of the fire splitting open another log. You can hear the fluttering of the owl’s wings outside the window, and you turn to face the door, afraid he left.

Instead, you are met with Levi’s gaze watching your dejected figure. You can see he is calculating in his head, thinking, planning, and ready to say something that will destroy your hopes.

“You have no idea what you’re signing up for, princess,” is what falls from his mouth. It’s quiet, so quiet you almost miss it. A flicker of hope blooms in your belly and excitement takes over as you realize the implications of his words.

You take a step toward him, your hands clenching by your sides as you whisper, “Try me.”

Something flashes across his face, another unreadable emotion. He stares into your eyes and replies, “9 o’clock tomorrow night outside the Josephina Garden Hall. Don’t be late.” 

Not a moment later, and he’s gone.

---

It’s just starting to get late, with the moon climbing higher and higher into the sky. You are nervously making your way to the Josephina Garden Hall on the south side of the castle, opposite the barracks. 

You could hardly focus in your classes all day after the interaction with Levi in the forge room the night before. He was going to train you!

The training at night part made you a little nervous though, as you had really only practiced during the day and under heavy supervision. It was a windy night too, so you wore an extra layer underneath your practice gear so that you would stay warm.

A chill runs up your spine as you hurriedly make it inside the grandeur gates of the Josephina Garden Hall, and you take a deep breath as you start scoping the area for Levi. 

You had informed Pieck and Annie of your new training program with Levi, and both of them were hesitant but supportive. They were both standing at the opposite sides of the gates when you entered, and you quickly waved at them in recognition.

Just as they start to wave back at you, there is a sharp and quick blow to your back that knocks you to the ground. Air rushes out of your lungs and your forehead knocks into the grey, rocky tile with a loud crack!

Ow, ow, ow! The pain sets in quickly, and you can tell you’ve cut your forehead, you’ve likely got gravel or dirt in your palms, and there is going to be a bruise in the middle of your back in the morning.

“Lesson 1 - always keep your defenses up,” the low voice comes from above you. You are trying to decipher the words when panic begins to set in. You couldn’t catch your breath.

You don’t think you’ve ever experienced so much breathlessness, and you roll over onto your back, gasping for air. In doing so, the voice, which belonged to Levi, rings out again, “Lesson 2 - don’t give yourself an opening for the enemy to disarm you.”

In a quick motion, his boot flicks your practice sword right out of its sheath on your hip. The wooden blade flips perfectly into his hand, and in an instant, the blade is pointing at your throat.

Blinking rapidly while trying to regain your breath, you take in Levi’s appearance. He was wearing a dark cloak, and his face was shadowed in the light of the moon. He looked… eerie. And for the first time since you had met Levi, you felt scared of him.

“As I said, princess, you’ve got no idea what you’re in for”, he spits out, dropping your sword next to your head. You shuffle into a sitting position, chest still heaving. Your mind was an absolute whirlwind due to the lack of oxygen and the speed and accuracy with which he evaluated your fighting knowledge.

You frown and grab your wooden practice blade, putting it back into your sheath before scrambling to your feet to face him. You pant for a moment and then say, “Then teach me how to be better.”

Levi turns to face you, the moonlight casting him in a silver glow. He cocks his head to the side slightly before he replies, “Your reaction time is slow, you move loudly, and you are uncoordinated.”

You stand still for a moment, taking in his words. You shrug and ask, “So how do I fix all that?” Levi squares up with you and says, “Well with someone of your skill level, you can’t work on it all at once. You need to learn the pieces individually and then start putting them together.”

He motions to a tree where you can just make out the figure of a spotted owl, the one you had seen the night before! Levi starts, “An owl doesn’t start out as a silent flier. It first must learn how to flap its wings to get in the air before it worries about how quiet it is.”

You nod in understanding as the owl turns its head, flaps its wings a few times, and then glides off into the woods outside of the courtyard. A small shift on your heel and you face Levi again and call out, “Let’s go again!”

---

That first training session was the start of a brutal and grueling process to get you in fighting shape. Levi was a good teacher, surprisingly, but he was relentless. For every time you messed up, you had to get it right three times in a row.

The weeks started to slide by, and you were getting stronger, faster, and more deadly. Winter has arrived in its full glory - frigid winds, iced-over paths, and inches of snow every morning. The pines in the forest had started to get weighed down by all the icicles hanging on, and the horses were blanketed every night to keep them warm.

It was hard, practicing in the cold. The dry, cold air made it hard to breathe when you were working to the point of exhaustion, and when the sun shone down just right, you were positive you were going to go blind.

That didn’t deter Levi, though. You had managed to get better with a blade, but Levi insisted you needed to learn how to fight hand-to-hand since you “were so good at losing your sword”.

So that led you to your current predicament - being across from Levi trying to dodge his punches. They were fast, one after the next, after the next. Perfectly timed with an accuracy you didn’t know someone could obtain.

You jump out of the way as fast as you can, but a blow to the rib catches you off-guard and has you keeled over, your breath puffing in the frigid air. The pain is sharp, but you’ve started to learn how to manage it better, so you stand back up and form your fists into balls.

You attempt to throw a weak punch toward Levi’s abdomen, but he catches your hand with ease. He’s strong enough that he pulls your hand up to eye level, looking at the form of your fist.

“Okay, first off, this isn’t how you should make a fist when throwing a punch,” Levi says to you, pointing to the way you had your right thumb in the middle of your fist. He pulls your hand apart and makes it flat before reforming it into a fist, wrapping your thumb around the outside of your middle and pointer fingers.

You feel a wave of heat wash over your face as you realize he’s close to you, touching your hand. You try to pay attention to what he’s telling you, but it’s like you are just now realizing the ashen color of his eyes is flecked with the faintest hint of light blue.

“If you had actually hit me with the fist you had, you would have broken your thumb in an instant,” he explains, dropping your hand and showing you the fist you had made but with his hand instead. You don’t expect to almost miss the warmth of his touch when he moves away, but you shake the thought away as soon as it comes.

You step off to the side, letting out a small breath that billows around your head before throwing a punch in the air with your fist in the correct position. You turn to gauge Levi’s opinion of your punch, and you see what resembles a small, half-smile on his face.

Levi sighs and shakes his head, “Not quite. You’re twisting your arm as you deliver the punch. You want your arm and shoulder to follow directly behind wherever your fist is landing. If you are moving to break someone’s nose, you want it all to be in a straight line.”

He demonstrates a quick punch in front of you, and you can see the line he’s talking about from his fist, through his arm to his shoulder. You take a deep breath, trying to focus as you once again square up with Levi. You hone in on his nose, and in a flash, your fist flies out in front of you.

It surprises both of you when your fist makes contact with his jaw, and there is a clack as Levi’s teeth clamp down together in pain. Your (colored) eyes are wide as Levi takes a step back, one of his hands coming up to cup his cheek.

Your fist is still hanging in the air from where you just punched him in the face and panic sets in as you realize you just punched him. “Oh-oh my gosh, Levi, I’m so sorry!” the words come rushing out of your mouth, and you take a step forward with your hands covering your face.

There is a slight grimace on Levi’s as he works his jaw up and down to dissipate any pain. He lets out a quiet snort and utters, “That’s more like it, even if your aim was a little off.”

Worry is etched across your features as you take in the growing red mark on Levi’s cheek. “Levi, I am so sorry, please let me take care of that,” you plead as you move around the side of him to get a better look at it in the light. Levi just brushes you off, waving his hand dismissively, “It’s alright, I’ve had much worse.”

You sigh and mumble, “I believe that but that doesn’t mean you need to suffer now. Please, Levi, let me at least get some ice for you so it doesn’t bruise as badly.”

He glances at you from the corner of his eye as he unwraps his hands, quiet and calculating. A moment passes but then he gives you a small nod, leaning down to pick up the extra wraps he brought, and motions for you to lead the way.

It’s a quiet walk back to the barracks, with only the snow crunching underfoot. You keep an eye on your surroundings, noting the guards just coming back from patrol in the forest, and the next rotation of trainees leaving to watch the castle walls.

Before you know it, the two of you are sliding into the small medicine room at the entrance to the barracks, and you grab a soft cloth and a stool. You have Levi sit on the stool while you run back outside, scooping up some of the fresher, cleaner-looking snow from outside the building.

Ducking back inside, you press the snow down into a ball inside the cloth, wrapping it until it is softly padded. You give Levi a small smile as you offer the rag to him, and he quietly grunts in thanks, bringing the cooled wrap up to his face and laying it on his cheek.

You rock back and forth on your heels a few times before asking, “So, uh, what are we going to practice next?” Levi looks up at you through his dark lashes, his eyes half-lidded in exhaustion. He’s quiet, which is something you’ve come to notice about him.

Levi never seems to have a lot to say, and only really talks when spoken to. Your thoughts are interrupted when he mutters, “You still need to work on your hand-to-hand combat skills, your aim is off.”

He shuffles the ice on his face a little bit, a soft hiss sliding through his gritted teeth. Your brows furrow and you reach out, moving to pull the ice from his face to see what his cheek looks like.

While you’re busy looking at the slight purple and pink marks blooming on his cheek, Levi is looking at you. He hasn’t spent much time with you in such close proximity, as he typically kept you at arm’s length.

But up close… you were pretty. He should expect that- you are a princess after all. But there’s a certain natural aura that he never noticed before, a sort of kindness written into your features. Maybe it was the way your (colored) orbs flickered from one dark spot on his jaw back to his eyes to see if he was okay.

Maybe it was the gentleness in your touch as you pulled his hand down from his face so you could look at it. It could have been the tenderness and honest sorrow in your voice when you apologized for hurting him.

Your hair, whilst messy from fighting, somehow suited you despite its frazzled appearance. The curve of your mouth when your lips were parted while thinking matched the ferocity you had when mad and the joy in your heart when you laughed.

Levi felt a wave of emotion run through him while you muttered to yourself how you needed to get better and train harder. It was intense, a feeling that shook him right to his core.

Was it… longing?

“When I was living on the street, alone,” he whispered, his voice so low and quiet you thought you were hearing things. You dialed in on Levi and the way his eyes were slightly glazed over as if he was in another world.

He pauses for a moment, swallows thickly, and then continues, “When I lived on the streets, there was this little girl I helped out. She was probably 7, maybe 8 years old. Didn’t have any family, no place to live. But I helped her.”

You are quiet as you listen to him, not wanting to upset him, you nod along. He glances up at you and starts again, “I would get her food, clean water, maybe even a place to sleep at night. In turn, she would find me medicine and bandages.”

Levi looks back down at the ground and his eyes flutter close as he mutters, “I was a sick kid, but she helped me when I needed her. I wonder where she ended up some days, and if she’s still as kind as she was to me.”

You shift your weight slowly, crossing your arms over your chest, and mumble back, “I can imagine she’s helping people, a good heart is a good heart. No amount of wounds and scarring will stop someone’s true nature.”

Suddenly, as if a flip switches in his mind, Levi’s eyes snap open and a hardened look covers his face. He stands up, slamming the snow-filled cloth down on the table and he practically snarls, “You would have no idea, all you’re used to is a protected life within these walls. You’ve never experienced what it’s like to live every day not knowing whether or not you’re going hungry.”

He lunges towards the door, pauses for a second, and spits over his shoulder, “Not everyone is as privileged as you, princess.” The words are as cold as ice, and you feel like your head has just been plunged into a bucket of water.

Hurt washes over you as you watch him disappear deep into the barracks, and you slam the door shut as you collapse onto the stool where he was just sitting. A sob tears itself from your throat before you can stop it, and you wonder why you’re crying.

Is it because his words are true? Is it because he was vulnerable with you? Or was it because you were starting to consider him a friend, and he only saw you as a pawn in the overall game of royal hierarchy?

---

A few days have tensely come and gone, and you and Levi haven’t spoken to each other since his outburst. You had buried yourself deep into studying, you figured that way you could stay out of his way and better yourself while doing so.

You hadn’t bothered practicing while being nose-deep in your books, and Annie and Pieck had started to notice. They had seen the dejected look on your face when you made it back to your room that night and how you shut the door without another word, locking them out.

They didn’t bother asking what was wrong when they saw Levi practicing with the other trainees and not with you. So, instead, they guided you to and from lectures, meetings, and other royal duties without hesitation.

There was one day where the sun seemed to break through the sky a little clearer and Pieck decided you needed to get some fresh air. She was waiting outside of your room, knocking gently before she called, “Princess Y/n, come out! You need some fresh air and out of those books.”

You groan at the distant call of Pieck’s voice, but deep down you knew she was right. You set a small bookmark between the pages of the current novel you were reading and begrudgingly call back, “Give me a moment to change into something more suitable for outside!”

Pieck smiles as she hears you fumble around for a few minutes before she hears your door click unlocked and you appear beside her. Dressed in clothes more appropriate for the winter weather outside, there is a disgruntled look on your face that says you aren’t happy with her interrupting you.

She rolls her eyes and says, “Come on, you know this will do you some good. Annie is already down at the stables getting our horses ready. It’s a nice day out and we thought you might like to go for a ride.”

The strained look on your face shifts to one of easeful thanks as you and Pieck make your way down to the stables. From a distance, you could see Annie’s blonde hair peeking out from underneath her cape, and beside her were three of your favorite horses.

The first was Ramon, a deep cherry bay with a small white star on his forehead. He was an absolute sweetheart and enjoyed going out on the trails. The second was your favorite mare, named Vairon, who was a small white and black spotted Leopard Appaloosa. She was a little on the fiery side, but you really enjoyed her company.

The third was an old, kind stallion named Enfés. He was a dark, seal bay that could almost look black in the middle of winter. While his name literally meant “hell”, the blaze of white hairs on his face showed his older age and the kindness in his eye.

You give each of the horses a quick rub between their eyes before you look to your two guards and ask, “Who wants who?” Annie was already holding Enfés since she tacked him up last and she replies, “I can ride Enfés since I already have him.”

You nod and look to Pieck and she shrugs with a smile saying, “Pick whoever you want!” You smile back with a giggle and mumble, “Alright, I’ll ride Vairon, I haven’t ridden her in a while.” You move to grab the mare, carefully guiding her out of the tacking area and out into the snowy, grass field just outside.

The three of you mount your horses and set off towards the woods. There were hundreds of miles of trails around the castle that you enjoyed riding through. In the summer, you could gallop your horses down the paths and out onto the open moors without hesitation.

But now, in the middle of winter, you were limited in how fast you could travel. While it was a warmer day and the snow was melting, you still had to be cautious of the slick ice underneath the snow that could make your horse slip.

You take a deep breath through your nose, the cool air burning your airways with a slight sting that is refreshing. You let the air slide back out through your lips, the warmth from your breath instantaneously freezing. It momentarily blocks your vision, and when it clears, your stomach drops at the sight in front of you.

Bandits.

There were several hooded figures, too many for you to get an accurate count in the split second you realized they were in front of you. Pieck and Annie had caught sight of them too, motioning to quickly move to the side of the path. There were only three of you, and at least a dozen invaders.

You can feel a wave of nervousness wash over you as you try to draw your sword from your sheath. You glance back and forth between the figures closing in on you and the hilt of your sword, which was caught on your cloak.

Crap, crap, crap! Is all that is racing through your mind as you struggle to get a hold of your only weapon. A cry rips through the air as Annie moves to fend off the first round of attackers. In a desperate motion, you let go of your reins to grip the hilt of your sword with both hands.

With another strong tug, your sword comes loose, and just in time for an arrow to whiz through the air near you. Another pang of fear runs through you, and in a panic, you jump off of Vairon, the mare instantly turning and bolting as the sounds of battle rapidly approach.

You try to steady yourself and in your mind, thinking through your training with both Levi and Annie. Just as you get a grip on your surroundings, a dark figure appears in the corner of your vision with a blade directed at your head. You duck on instinct, sticking your foot out in a way you had seen Levi trip someone many times.

The bandit trips over your extended leg, falling to their knees as you advance behind them, kicking them in the back with your other leg. This seems to knock the air out of them, leaving the bandit out of commission for a moment while you glance to see how Annie and Pieck are doing.

“Pieck?” you call nervously when you don’t see her black locks of hair anywhere. “Pieck?!” you yell more loudly when you don’t get a response. In your moment of distraction, you don’t notice another bandit sneaking up on you, and your attention draws back to the invader you had already knocked to the ground.

Just as you move to attempt to knock the invader out, the second bandit attacks. You’re too slow when you finally realize they are there, and shock rips through your nervous system as a searing hot pain takes over your left arm. You cry out, your voice shredding at the coarseness of your yell, and it’s loud enough to catch Annie’s attention.

“Princess Y/n!” she shouts towards you, parrying blow after blow with three attackers on her at once. You don’t get a chance to respond when you hear a voice exclaim, “A princess? She’ll be worth a lot if we can capture her!”

“It’s a shame that won’t be happening today,” a low voice barks from someplace behind you. The second invader launches at you, holding the blade that had cut you up to your throat. A gasp of pain leaves your lips and the guy who had a hold of you grabs you by the shoulder and yells, “Quiet, princess! Or I will have your head.”

He turns to face the unidentified voice you had heard, and you shuffle along to avoid any more injury. You hear the voice again, and through your pain and blurry vision, you can start making out a figure.

This time you know who the baritone belongs to as it rings out, “I can’t allow that either.” Before you can comprehend it, Levi is off his horse and lunges toward the bandit. You see a slight flick of his sword, and then you feel the pressure of the blade on your neck disappear.

With a shaky glimpse toward the ground, you can see the bandit’s severed hand still holding the sword. A scream splits the air behind you as the harsh pain sets in for the bandit, who steps away from you and tries to run. Levi is faster though, and he spins around, slashing his dual blades again.

You close your eyes as you hear the bandit’s body hit the cold, hard dirt beneath him. Another wave of agony washes over you as you feel warmth start to seep down your arm, and a choked sob breaks through your lips.

Not a moment later, you can feel a hand placed on your non-injured arm, and through tears you didn’t know had, you can make out the shape of Levi’s face. You can see concern on his features as he asks, “Are you alright?”

You are shaking, your whole body quivering as you try to contain your emotions through the pain. You try to nod your head but another cry leaves you with a fresh set of tears streaming down your face.

“H- how did you find us?” you manage to stutter out as Levi drops his hand from your shoulder. He re-draws his secondary blade and replies, “I saw your horse, and then Pieck appeared a minute later and brought our patrol.”

Another screech rings through the air and he sharply looks away from you and calls out, “Wait here, get down and hide somewhere!” Then, he’s gone, heading to where the cry came from. You could see several of the bandits were fleeing, leaving their horses and weapons as they ran for their lives.

Levi and the rest of his patrol were finishing off the few that remained, with Annie and Pieck joining them. You were about to collapse to the ground when you caught sight of something glinting through the trees. After a moment of realization, you recognize it as the royal insignia on a soldier’s breastplate.

You stumble forward as you call out to the fallen soldier, “Hey! Are you okay?” You don’t get a response as you trip through the brush, eyes blurry with tears from the pain coursing through your body.

In an instant, your body seems to come alive as you recognize the soldier. Rico Barht, one of your father’s guards. Rico was gushing blood from his thigh, where a nasty arrowhead had dug itself into the flesh. His upper body was drenched in blood from slash wounds on his chest and arms, oozing onto the soil beneath the two of you.

“Oh my gosh, Rico!” you blurt out in recognition as you lunge forward, your hands coming up to cup his face. He was just barely breathing and his hazel-colored eyes were half-lidded, unfocused.

A sob escapes you and you exclaim again, “Rico, hold on,” you look around for a second and then yell, “I need help over here!” You turn to face Rico again, slightly shaking him as you try to get him to focus on you, “Rico, Rico, hey, it’s me, (Y/n). We’re going to get you all fixed up, okay?”

A weak garble comes from his lips and that’s when you see it - a clean slice through across his throat. You immediately move to put pressure on it, but your hands keep slipping from the blood that is rushing out of his jugular.

“No. No, Rico come on, no no no no,” you rush out as you see his eyes fix and dilate. The blood continues to flow from his neck, and then you feel him take a breath. Then, all is still.

You can hear the fading cries of the bandits, and the forest rustling before it’s silent again. Sobs wrack your body, ripping your throat apart from the inside out. You let the tears fall as you clutch tightly onto the fallen soldier, praying that his soul leaves this cruel and unkind world behind.

You are so distraught you don’t hear your name being called from where Levi had left you. “Princess Y/n?” the call comes, and then again, this time with more intensity, “Y/n?! Y/n, where are you?!” You can hear the panic growing in the voice, but there is no air left in your lungs to reply as another whimper leaves your lips.

The person calling for you hears your cry, rushing down the dirt path that you had taken to find Rico. “Y/n, there you a-”, the voice starts but then abruptly stops. You turn to face the oncomer, who through your fuzzy vision determines is Levi.

He turns back towards the group and orders, “I need medical supplies over here, now!” Levi places his hand on your shoulder, trying to pull you out of the way so he can help, but you don’t budge, “He’s already gone.”

You can’t say anymore, and you bring your hands up to try to wipe the tears away from your eyes. Instead, you end up smearing Rico’s blood all over your cheeks. You don’t seem to notice, but Levi does.

His silver gaze widens as he sees the blood coating your hands and he rushes, “You’re injured, we need to get you medical equipment now.” He turns over his shoulder and shouts again, “Where the hell is that med kit?!” When his eyes meet yours, you simply shake your head.

“It’s not mine,” you whisper, sniffling, “I tried to- I tried to save Rico. But I couldn’t…” your voice trails off as a fresh wave of tears washes over you. Levi doesn’t say anything for a moment, a look of sorrow and realization covering his bloodied features.

You hadn’t ever seen someone die before.

It wasn’t something Levi thought of often. Living on the streets, defending innocent lives, death was so common he didn’t think twice about it. But you? A princess who barely could fight, holding a soldier as he died? He couldn’t imagine what it was like.

The two of you are interrupted as Pieck appears behind Levi and states, “We don’t have any more med kits, the soldiers in critical condition have already been sent back to the palace.” Her gaze flits from Levi to you, to the body of Rico behind you.

She opens her mouth to call for help, but she catches the glint in Levi’s eyes, and she understands. Pieck swallows thickly and then says, “I’ll get some of the other guards to take care of this. You two should get back in case any of the bandits are lurking around.”

Levi nods in thanks before turning toward you and murmuring, “Let’s get you back to the castle.” You don’t say anything, finally quiet after exhausting yourself of tears. Levi offers his hand to you, the digits covered in blood and grime.

You don’t think twice, placing your own hand delicately in his, gripping on tight as you feel Rico’s blood press into Levi’s palm. He pulls you to your feet, steadying you before guiding you out of the brush and to where Annie had gathered your horses.

She was in good condition compared to you, only mildly dirty, and didn’t look injured. Her blue gaze meets Levi’s silver one, and they both give each other a nod of understanding. Without any words, Levi mounts his horse while Annie helps you onto Vairon, the mare slightly antsy from all the commotion.

Annie passes your reins to Levi, who says to you, “Just hold on, alright?” You sit deeper into your saddle, grabbing onto the horn before nodding to him.

The two of you set off for the castle, a harsh silence settling over the ride home. You couldn’t help replaying Rico’s death over and over again in your mind. The feeling of the blood spurting from his neck. The look in his eyes as he died. The way his chest stopped rising and falling and laid eternally still.

You don’t even realize that you’ve made it back to the palace until you see Levi standing next to your left stirrup, offering you a hand to get down. Time and space seem altered as you make your way from the stables back to your room, trying to avoid any and all eyes on you.

You were a sight to see: face and hands covered in blood, your jacket ripped and your arm bleeding, dirt covering your clothes, and a distant look in your eye.

Levi stops you just outside of your door, his gaze trying to peer into your own troubled (colored) one. For the first time, Levi can’t tell what you’re thinking, and in a way… it almost scares him.

“Y/n- ”, he starts but is stopped when you cut him off and robotically state, “Thank you,” and then disappear into your room without another word. The door clicks shut with a small gust of wind, leaving a disheveled Levi outside with a look of surprise on his face.

He stares at the door for a moment, wondering whether or not he should go after you or send someone to help, but then he thinks better of it and heads towards the king’s chambers to inform him of the raid.

---

It was the day following the bandit attack, and you had two guards following you on your heels. Bertholdt and Colt were both on edge, you could tell. You know they weren’t quite as experienced, and that they knew you had seen something… dark, yesterday.

The two of them don’t say a word, though, and follow quietly behind you as you make your way towards one of the sitting gardens within the palace. You had gotten cleaned up, your skin washed from any traces of blood and dirt, but you couldn’t help but feel like Rico’s blood coated your body.

You felt like red was covering you, smothering the fine lace of your light blue dress. But it wasn’t. So you kept quiet and walked, trying to clear the encroaching feelings and thoughts from your mind and body.

You find yourself slowing near a white rose bush, and you gaze upon the seemingly perfect flowers for a moment before muttering, “Isn’t it funny how this flower can grow so perfectly? Can live a life so pure?”

Colt and Bertholt stop behind you, giving each other inquisitive looks but not answering you. You don’t give them a moment to speak as you continue, “These flowers can stay here, in this garden, safe from the freezing temperature of the winter outside. They don’t ever have to die because they are safe, protected here.”

You turn to face your guards, a far-off, distant look in your eye as you mumble, “They don’t ever have to experience death, only the rebirth of new life.” A tear falls quickly from your eye, sliding down your cheek and onto the ground next to your heel-clad shoe.

Without another word, you turn on your heel and continue through the garden, solemn. 

Your day is slow, and you can’t battle the thoughts that seem to torture you every waking moment. The moment you are released from your duties for the day, you set your sights on a glow in the middle of the darkness. The forge.

You hadn’t spent time in the smoked and charred room since Levi had taken you on as an apprentice. Typically you were so exhausted that you would just go to your room to clean up and fix up your armor and blades.

But tonight, you couldn’t stand looking at the walls in your room, or the pages of your favorite book that you could get so easily lost in. No, tonight, you needed to get out and get away from sitting and doing nothing.

So, you find yourself in the corner of the forge near the hearth, quietly stoking the fire, lost in thought. You thought about trying to find a blade to sharpen, or some armor that needed polished, but your feet seemed glued to the dirt floor next to the growing flames.

Deep marigold mixed with tawny and carmine, forming an intricate dance as you scoped the flames, looking for something. Maybe it was so that you could catch a sight of the soft sapphire and indigo licks that seeped in and out of the rusty haze. Maybe it was so that you could leave the thoughts of the bloody bandits out of your mind. Maybe you just wanted to forget the sting on your arm as your heart shattered while Rico’s life slipped away from your fingers.

Or maybe it was to forget the relief you felt when Levi’s gaze found you in your utter panic. The peace that streamlined through your body when you could see concern etched on his features. The comfort you found when he placed his hand on your arm, asking if you were alright.

You shut your eyes as the thoughts berated you, one after the other. You could hardly stand them, all you wanted was one moment of silence from your mind. In the haze of your head, you don’t notice the lithe figure that slips into the forge room behind you.

The figure catches sight of you curled up next to the hearth, sitting on the dirt. You were wearing what he could only imagine was an expensive, imported dress, but here you were, sitting on the floor. Dust and ash lay on your lap and the edge of your hem, but it didn’t seem to bother you one bit.

Levi set his gear down as quietly as he could on the table near the door, mentally battling with himself on whether he should leave or not. Just as he takes a step back, the fire cracks, breaking your train of thought, and the angle of your gaze changes to catch him red-handed.

Levi could curse under his breath, but he stayed silent before dropping into a respectful bow and murmuring, “Princess.” Your (colored) orbs are tinted copper in the light of the forge, but they widen as they recognize who was before you.

In a moment, you try to scramble to your feet, but Levi cuts in, “No, no, please, stay where you are. I was going to clean my gear, but I can find somewhere else.” He straightens up from his bow, his gloved hand reaching for his gear before he hears your voice.

“Please stay,” your voice practically croaks out, “Please?” The pain in your voice immediately catches Levi’s attention, and he can feel his resolve crumbling when he sees the wet glimmer in your eyes. He drops his hand from his gear, instead plucking his leather gloves off and removing the rest of his bulky gear.

Levi makes his way over to you, feeling your searing gaze on his every movement. He chooses to sit on the opposite side of the hearth from you, giving him a good look at your tear-stained cheeks. The clear look of distress tugs on his heartstrings in a way that confuses him.

What was that for? He’s just here to make sure you’re okay. You’re here all alone with no one to protect you. 

At least, that’s what he told himself. He clears his throat, pushing the thoughts away as he asks, “Are you alright, princess?” You roll your eyes and sniffle, uttering, “Please just call me Y/n. And-” you pause, rubbing at your nose before sighing, “I don’t know.”

You can feel Levi’s watchful gaze on you, but you choose to gaze deeper and deeper into the flames. It’s silent between the two of you, and you think that you might have said something wrong. Levi blinks slowly, thoughtfully, and then replies, “It’s okay, you know.”

This catches your attention, and you turn your cheek toward him, catching sight of the meaning of his silver gaze. He continues, “It’s okay, to feel the way you feel. It’s not an easy thing to deal with.”

You want to brush him off and defend the soft and broken part of your heart, but you realize that Levi saw straight through your uncertainty. You open your mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. Levi cocks his head slightly, his gaze burning into you like the heat wafting into your sides from the fire.

You swallow thickly, a dry and humorless chuckle falling from your lips as you manage, “It’s such a natural thing, yet all I can do is replay that moment over and over again, wishing there was something else I could do to save him.” “There wasn’t,” the instant reply comes.

Levi hadn’t taken his eyes off of you once, and you meet his gaze with a furrow in your brow as you fight off an incoming wave of sadness. “There wasn’t,” he repeats, softer this time, “That soldier was lucky to have you in his last moments, Y/n. At his end, he knew nothing else other than someone cared for his life.”

He finally tears his eyes away and he mutters, “And that can mean a lot to someone.” You take in Levi’s appearance at that moment. This… interesting, to say the least, soldier, sitting on the ground with a crying princess, talking about death. It was almost funny, the way it seemed like everything to you, but just another burden to carry for him.

In a bold move, you reach forward, your fingers gently resting on top of his own hand as you question, “How do you deal with death, Levi?” You shuffle your feet ever so slightly to get more comfortable, waiting for him to pull away at any moment.

Instead, he flips his hand over so that your digits rest in his palm, and looking at your hands he replies, “I remember them.” He glances up at you through his darkened lashes and when he sees the confused look on your face he elaborates, “When they were normal, healthy, alive. I remember whenever they smiled or laughed. When they weren’t sick or dying.”

You nod delicately, taking in the deep timbre of his voice and the emotion that it carries. You reply, “But what if I don’t have those memories? I only saw Rico in passing a handful of times, I barely knew his name.”

Levi squeezes your hand and states, “You carry on with your life, living for him. Enjoying each moment so that his life doesn’t go to waste.” You give the dark-haired male a saddened smile and nod, squeezing his hand back when your voice seems to fail.

Thank you.

---

The chill of winter slides away with the onset of a warming spring, and things have been becoming more normal. You and Levi finally resumed training once you seemed to cope with the loss of Rico.

You were behind, yes, but doing everything in your power to catch up but with one major caveat. Your 18th birthday was just around the corner. Your days were full of meetings, ballroom preparations, lessons, training, and sword practice. There had hardly been any downtime to relax or breathe, and everything was slowly becoming overwhelming,

Levi was accommodating though, with practices starting later and later in the evening. You had started to learn and understand this raven-haired boy better, with his insomniac-like tendencies, and his peculiar and dry sense of humor.

You liked spending time with him.

To your benefit, Levi was a surprisingly good teacher, and even though most nights you were tired and fed up, Levi could handle your banter. He had a sharp tongue, which kept your focus on getting better, but he was never too harsh.

Whenever he was unable to help you, Annie or Pieck picked up the slack to be your punching bag or let you try out a new combination on them. But with months of training under your belt, you were becoming an increasingly lethal opponent.

One evening you were getting ready to head down to the training yard to practice with Levi, fixing your gauntlets and securing your sword as you rushed to get ready. It was the night before your 18th birthday, and your mother insisted on planning a huge ball for your coming of age.

Just as you were putting the finishing touches on your outfit, there was a knock on your door. Latching onto the handle, you open it to see Levi, who always comes by your room before practice. There was one glaring difference that caught your eye, shock covering your features as your gaze took him in. 

He typically donned his plain, smooth metal practice gear when training with you, but instead, Levi was covered in new, glimmering plates of intricate armor. The smooth breastplate that once was blank and had no symbol, was now textured metal lined with gold and donned the royal insignia on it. His expression was no different than normal, he just wore his usual, stoic frown.

Your eyes widen at the realization of his upgraded armor and you can’t help the words that burst from your mouth, “You’ve made it into the guard?!” It comes out as an almost-shout, which catches Levi’s attention.

His silvery gaze widens ever-so-slightly at your realization, and he shuffles on his feet before he gives you a slow nod. He straightens up for a moment before motioning to the hallway outside of your room and replies, “Let’s go for a walk, princess.”

Your mouth is still parted open in surprise, and your hands have come to interlock in front of your chest, but you do as he requests and move to walk side-by-side with him down the hallway. Your footsteps fall in sync out of habit and you gasp at him again and say, “I didn’t know you were getting knighted today, you should have told me!”

The new knight just shrugs as if it made no difference to him, folding his arms behind his back in thought. He briefly looked to the ground and his black locks moved to fall over his angled cheekbones.

You playfully hip-bump him lightly, trying to reinforce your point. On the rare occasion he wasn’t paying attention, or he was just letting you think that, he stumbles forward a little bit. His arms come down to rest at his sides again and he looks over at you, slightly offended.

Giggles fall from your lips at his reaction and you chuckle out, “I’m serious! That's such a huge deal and you've only been here for a few months.” A soft, barely noticeable flush covers Levi’s cheeks, and he’s thankful that you don’t seem to see it.

He looks directly in front of you two and replies, “I’m doing my best to protect the kingdom.” You scoff and roll your eyes before retorting, “Puh-lease, you do your own thing without regard for anyone. That’s how you are, Levi.”

Levi’s eyes narrow as he turns to face you and just as he opens his mouth to respond you cut in, “I don’t even know if I can count your friends on the one hand.” You give him a look that says, “You know I’m right,” and he just rolls his eyes and groans, “It’s not like you’re much better, you only hang out with your guards and your maids.”

The playful banter between the two of you continues as you walk the cascading hallways of the castle. The intricate paintings hanging on the walls start to catch the rays of the glowing candlelight and the setting sun.

Before you know it, Levi is steering you into one of the courtyards - Josephina’s Garden Hall. You smile softly at the fond memory of your first-ever training session in this very garden. As you look around, there is not a single person around.

The thought crosses your mind that people are preparing for your birthday, which is just around the corner. Your mother was practically bursting at the seams to host a ball in the largest ballroom of the castle, so all energy was put towards the festivities.

Of course, there were still guards and knights littering the perimeter, but there were fewer stationed around unoccupied areas to focus on decorating or protecting the exterior of the castle.

Levi pulls ahead of you by just a stride, heading toward one of the walls that is adjacent to one of your favorite rose gardens. One of the bushes is coated in giant red blooms, and just as you are about to say how beautiful they are, Levi reaches for something behind one of the flowers.

“What are you-” you start but are interrupted when you catch sight of what he was grabbing. It was a brand new, dark leather sheath with a sword in it. A sheath with your initials on it.

You quickly glance from Levi to the sheathed blade and back again. He returns your gaze with a strange intensity you’ve only ever seen once from him, and it makes you want to almost squirm. It felt like he was seeing through and into you, and it made your heart flutter in your chest in a way you never experienced.

“Happy birthday, princess,” Levi whispers, handing you the darkened leather. Your lips are parted in complete surprise as you accept it from him, your eyes raking over the intricacy of the stitching of your initials.

You don’t waste another moment before grabbing onto the hilt of the sword, drawing it firmly out of the sheath. The last of the sun’s rays catch the unmarked length of the blade, making it glow like an ember burning in the hottest of fires.

Your mouth had fallen open in true admiration and shock at this point, and you turned to Levi in complete wonder and appreciation. You swallow thickly and stutter out, “I, I can’t accept this, Levi,” dropping the sword back into the sheath and offering it back to him.

The dark-haired man simply shakes his head and states, “You deserve that blade, princess. You’ve worked very hard, and while you still have a lot to learn, you need more than a wooden practice sword or dull blade to protect yourself.”

You can’t help the huge smile that rushes to your face, and a wave of excitement takes over you. In a split second, you lunge forward toward Levi, crushing him into a huge hug.

He once again isn’t fast enough to react, and he’d never admit it, but he was enraptured at the sight of you: your hair falling perfectly around your face, the light of the sun reflecting the pure joy in your eyes, the strength you exuded as you held your new blade… you were stunning.

Levi struggles against you for a second, afraid someone would think he was taking advantage of you, alone like this, but after a moment, softens into your embrace and slowly pats you on the back.

You pull away from the hug as a stray tear runs down your cheek. You sniffle as you let out an embarrassed laugh, wiping at the tear as you gush, “I apologize, I didn’t mean to get so emotional. This is such a beautiful gift, Levi. I don’t even know how to properly thank you.”

Levi lets a hint of a smile rest on his lips, and his eyebrows softening ever so slightly as he murmurs, “You don’t need to thank me for anything. I should be thanking you for giving me a place here at the palace, and I apologize for being so rude when I first arrived.”

You wave your hand dismissively at him before laughing, “It’s alright, you were the first and only person to openly challenge me like that, and I needed that reality check.”

The two of you stand in silence for a moment, close to one another but not quite touching. You shuffle and glance at your feet and at your hand holding your new blade. You mumble, “There’s something I want to ask you, Levi.”

He quirks an eyebrow in interest at your sudden shift in tone but he motions for you to go on with a gentle nod. You sigh before a saddened smile covers your face, the dying rays of the sun just catching the last of your drying tears.

“Annie is leaving the guard after my birthday celebration is over,” you explain, “She wants to live a life with her father in the country, and the king has arranged for her to leave. That leaves a gap in my defense, and while I’m much more capable of defending myself, I’m missing a knight-” “I’ll do it.”

Levi’s voice comes out soft and low, and it catches you off guard at how much emotion it seems to hold. “I’ll join your personal guard if that is what you wish, princess. Just say the word and that will be my next mission in life.”

You blink up at him, your smile shifting from one of sadness to one of thanks, “Please, would you join my personal guard?” Levi bows to you and utters quietly under his breath, so quiet you don’t hear him, “As you wish.”

When he stands up straight, you give him a slight bow and the two of you stop for a moment, silently regarding the other. A moment passes and you give him an almost cheeky smile before turning away, and without hesitation, Levi follows you.

---

You see, that was the start of a beautiful friendship between you and the dark-haired man. It was built on long days of sparring, bickering, and slowly but surely, tolerating each other. On the day of your 18th birthday, Levi was appointed to your guard and soon began taking his patrols with Pieck, swapping in and out with Porco, Reiner, and the other guards who had also recently been knighted.

Now officially a knight, it was harder to get training practices in, but whenever it was his shift to watch over you, the two of you found yourselves in the training grounds. The training sessions continued for months, your sword skills becoming more and more refined.

Before you knew it, a year or two seemed to slip by like the finest silk, and your friendship with Levi bloomed into something tried, true, and trustworthy. He was always there when you needed him to be, a reliable soldier and a trusted friend.

You weren’t blind to how the two of you grew up, Levi got slightly taller and thicker with muscle. No matter the day, he always, always, always got stronger. You, on the other hand, became more elegant and stronger in your own ways. You became physically stronger, yes, but you found your voice and learned how to rule and talk to your subjects while remaining kind as you always had been.

Over time, Levi had learned your ways rather quickly. The time you woke up. How long it took you to roll out of bed. Just how you liked your morning coffee or tea. It seemed so domestic every morning whenever he’d knock on your door to see if you were awake or not. 

A fondness developed between the two of you for those easy morning conversations, not that either of you would admit it. While the two of you constantly bickered and playfully argued, Levi saw through the facade and to the sweet and tender side of you.

It was moments when you would kindly thank your maids, or encourage your younger siblings. He saw the way you treated the guests who would visit from overseas, and he found a deep respect for you.

And although you had many personal guards, Levi ended up being the one that stuck by you the most often, often by your parent's wishes. With Levi in the guard and not out protecting the towns surrounding the palace, crime rates had increased. And so, the king and queen wanted you to be the safest you could, with the best protection around.

---

On a cool winter morning, with snow glistening on the windowsill, you had just gotten dressed and were preparing for a meeting with your parents. They had found someone they thought would be a lovely suitor for you, as you were now old enough to be betrothed to someone of equally high status.

A soft knock on your door catches your attention, and you fumble with your earrings as you call, “Just a moment!” But the door opens anyway, and in comes Levi, a scowl covering his face.

Yet when his eyes land on you, fixing your earring in a slight panic, his eyes soften and he mutters, “It’s just me, relax.”

His silvery eyes seem to linger, though. They take in the gentle curve of your cheek dusted with blush, then fixate on the necklace hanging around your neck.

Levi is no fool. He has come to know you over the years, and he knows you are one of the most beautiful women he has ever seen. Of course you were, you’re a princess.

He has to shake his head slightly to clear his thoughts before he coughs once to clear his throat. Levi glances up at you and states, “It’s almost time for your meeting with the king and queen, Y/n.”

You give him a warm smile and ask, “Walk with me?” Levi offers you his arm in his classic fashion, and you take hold of his arm like you always did.

Levi guides you out of your room and down the familiar hallway. The arches were cast in a soft, ethereal glow, the snow from the courtyard reflecting the light brightly. Your steps land in sync and quietly echo as the two of you silently move toward the meeting halls.

You sigh and glance down at the floor as you mumble, “I don’t know if I’m ready for this, Levi. My parents have spent so long trying to find me a suitor, but I’ve disliked all of them. I’m afraid they’re running out of patience, or that I’m not worthy to be a good wife.”

Levi stops in his tracks at your words, a bored and stern look on his face. He pinches the bridge of his nose with his free hand before running it through his black locks and saying, “Are you kidding me, Y/n? You are a beautiful, strong, and intelligent princess. You are practically the epitome of a queen and wife, and if anything, I think you scare a lot of your suitors off because of that.”

Surprise floods over you, and the words of praise coming from Levi seem to float around in your mind. Beautiful? Strong? Smart? He thinks I’m beautiful?

But Levi doesn’t give you any more time to think. He continues walking, dragging you along as he finishes, “Just because you haven’t found the right man for you yet, doesn’t mean that you won’t find him. He might be the most surprising person you’ll ever meet.”

You stay quiet at that, walking silently next to your knight and trying to process his words. And before you know it, you have made it to the meeting room where you knew your parents and a suitor would be waiting.

Levi slowly releases your grip, letting his hand slide down your arm before grasping your palm. He gives your hand a gentle and encouraging squeeze before releasing it, and walking up to the large door.

He hits the knocker three times to signal your arrival, and just a moment later two butlers open the door from the inside, ushering the two of you in.

Just as you expected, your mother and father were sitting at the head of the table, and at your entrance into the room, all eyes were set on you and Levi. You are dressed to perfection, regarding the room with elegance and grace, taking in the setup and the profile of the room and the suitor.

The tall, blonde gentleman stands up and bows before you can speak and states, “Good morning, princess.”

You swallow deeply and smile as you curtesy and reply, “Good morning, sir.” You take your seat next to your mother, and you can feel Levi’s steps stiffen as he walks behind you, pulls your chair out for you, and gets you settled in.

He ends up standing a chair or two down in the corner of the room, watching and waiting as he was trained. Your eyes flash towards your parents in a sweet greeting before you take in the appearance of the suitor.

The man was tall. Very tall. He had longer blonde hair and just a small bit of facial hair. He wore very fine clothing, embroidered with intricate details, and obviously fitted by a professional tailor.

The potential suitor bows again and states, “I appreciate your time this morning, Princess Y/n, my name is Viscount Miche Zacharius.”

At the sound of his name, you could hear Levi’s blade scraping against the wall ever so slightly. You shoot him a concerned glance, but all you can see is a hardened look on Levi’s face.

He looked… mad?

You turn back to Miche, and with a practiced smile you reply, “It’s wonderful to meet with you this morning, my lord.” The blonde smiles in response, and before he can speak again, the king cuts in, “Tell us about your kingdom, Miche. Y/n would love to hear about your homeland.”

Your teeth grit together as your father speaks for you, but you keep the practiced smile plastered on your face as you watch Miche chuckle slightly nervously, but he nods. 

Seconds fade into minutes, and minutes lead onto an hour as Miche, your father, mother, and occasionally you, make conversation. You could tell Miche was a nice man with good morals, but there was something lacking in the conversation that kept you jumping for joy.

However, your mother and father thought the two of you kicked things off well, even considering the fact they hardly let you talk to the man. Your mother was so enthralled with the idea of you and Miche that she suggested a ball to be hosted for the two of you to get to know one another better - an offer your father couldn’t refuse. And neither could you.

“What a grand idea!” Miche exclaims, standing up to shake your father’s hand, “Do let me know of the details as soon as you get it planned.” He then turns to you, excitedly and says, softer, “I do hope you’ll save me some spaces on your dance card, princess.”

You giggle uncertainly and reply, “Of course, my lord.” At that, Miche takes your hand, gently, and presses a chaste kiss to your knuckles before giving you a bow and leaving the room, your father a pace behind him.

Your mother is practically swooning at how sweet the man seems to be, but you are quite taken aback by his forwardness. You hear metal scrape against the wall again, and out of the corner of your eye, you can see a firm frown etched on Levi’s features.

He was pissed.

The walk back to your room is quiet and tense, with no words passing between the two of you. You could have practically screamed in frustration when your door finally latched closed and it was just you and Levi on the other side.

“Who does he think he is?!” you immediately lament, whipping around the face of Levi, who’s already rubbing at his face in frustration. In response, he just groans, “I think he’s the most bold one yet. You have to dance with that guy?”

You pause and look Levi in the eye before groaning, flopping down onto your bed like a little girl. Levi folds his arms across his chest and shrugs, “At least he’s polite?” You harshly look over at him, a pout on your lips. 

“He’s like talking to a tree that never became a book. He just kept growing,” you manage to mumble around the sheets of your bed. Levi scoffs at your words before leaning back against the door and snaps back, “The guy sure is full of himself. No wonder it’s taken him this long to find a wife.”

You feel a pang run through you and you sit up from your bed, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. “I’ve been looking for a suitor for a while too, Levi. Hopefully, I’m not full of myself. Or not too picky.” Your hands find themselves carding together as you look down at them, and you miss the dark-haired knight’s expression change.

The furrow in his brow softens and he pushes off the wall to stand in front of you. He takes a breath as he stops in front of you and starts, “Y/n, I-” But you beat him to it, “What if I never find love, Levi?” You look up to meet his silver gaze at that moment, tears darkening your lashes.

Levi sighs, letting the air flow freely out of his nose as he sits down next to you on your bed, quiet. Then, he meets your gaze once again and he murmurs, “You will, Y/n/n. You will.”

You smile sadly at him, and he reaches his hand toward your face to tuck an unruly piece of hair out of your face. Just before his hand can make contact with your skin, there is a knock at the door. 

The moment is gone in a flash, and Levi quickly moves to stand post by the doors to your balcony and you wipe under your eyes. You guiltily look at Levi, who has gone back to his classic stoic look, staring straight ahead.

Another pang of guilt runs through you as you tear your eyes away from his frame, instead focusing on the person on the other side of your door. You take a breath and then call, “Come in!” Then, a head of blonde hair appears and you recognize the guard as Reiner.

“I was told I might find you here,” he says with a bow, “I was sent to relieve Levi from duty for a little while.” Reiner props the door open a little further before stepping into the room, and Levi turns to regard his fellow soldier with a respectful nod.

Before he leaves the room, the dark-haired man faces you and gives you a bow with a simple, “Good day, princess.” Before you know it, he’s gone, and it’s just you and Reiner left in the silence of the room.

---

Over the next couple of days, you didn’t see much of Levi. You thought it slightly odd, but you figured he was on a personal quest for your father or taking some personal days. Eventually, when you were trying to find him so you could spar a little, he couldn’t be found anywhere.

You stopped a maid who had brought fresh linens for your bed and asked, “Have you seen a short, dark-haired knight recently? He goes by the name Levi, I haven’t seen him in a while.” The maid pauses in thought and then replies, “I do think I recall a dark-haired soldier turning up in the infirmary a few days ago. I can check to see if that is who you are talking about.”

You shake your head and quip, “There will be no need for that, I will make my way there now.” Without another moment’s notice, you turn and slide out of your room, (colored) gaze set on finding the infirmary.

Typically, you didn’t spend much time in the infirmary because you were royalty and you had your own personal staff. However, you occasionally would pick up small supplies after training if you had a small cut or brush burn from the grass.

It was fairly quiet as you slipped into the entrance of the sick bay, with no doctors or nurses in sight. You take a deep breath as you peer around the few rooms that make up the infirmary, making your way as silently as you can so as to not disturb anyone resting.

Just as you make it to the last room, you can hear coughing on the other side. You just barely peer through the door when you catch sight of a familiar black head of hair. Levi.

You push the door open and remark, “I wondered where you disappeared to, soldier.” Levi’s head immediately snaps up to take in your frame entering his small room. He opens his mouth to answer you, but another coughing fit overtakes him.

You rush next to his side, finding a small cup of water on his bedside table. You offer him the cup, watching him soothe his irritated throat with a frown before handing the water back to you.

“It’s not what it looks like,” he grumbles out lowly, trying to avoid sputtering again. A giggle slides through your lips before you can stop it, and you bring a hand up to cover your smile when you catch sight of Levi’s annoyed gaze. It only makes you giggle harder, and you can see his displeased look ease a little at your laughter.

As you calm down, you manage to take a breath and smirk, “It looks like you’re sick to me, Levi.” The dark-haired knight just rolls his eyes, his hands fiddling with the blanket on his lap to pull it up higher on his waist.

“It’s nothing,” he grumbles out again, “The king and queen forced me to come down here so I can “recover as fast as possible” or something.” You nod knowingly with a gentle smile on your face, saying, “I can imagine they only had the best intentions and wanted to see you well before the suitor’s ball tonight.”

He groans and rubs at his flushed face with one hand and mumbles through his night shirt’s sleeve, “Don’t remind me about that. I think standing there watching everyone dance and act so cheerful would kill me faster than any blade would.”

You scoff and roll your eyes at your best friend replying, “You are so dramatic!” But then a moment passes and you tuck a piece of hair behind your ear saying, “Actually, you’re probably right. My mother is going to have me hanging on every man’s arm within a thousand miles tonight.”

This time, Levi is the one to just barely crack a smile and he shrugs, “Who knows, you might actually enjoy the ball. There will be no lack of eligible suitors, and I can’t imagine all of them are complete imbeciles.”

His words get you to giggle again, and you nod along in agreement, your eyes trailing toward the clock on the wall. As the time on the clock registers in your mind, panic starts to set in and you scramble to your feet muttering, “Crap, crap, crap!”

Levi’s gaze follows yours and he realizes it too: you’re late for getting ready! You glance apologetically at Levi, who goes to swallow and then starts sputtering with more coughs.

He waves you off and manages to squawk out, “Go have fun, tell me all about it later.” You give him a grateful smile and over your shoulder you call out, “I will! Please try to feel better and get some rest!”

With one last glance over your shoulder, you set off toward your room to get ready for the ball. Your maids about mauled you when they finally managed to wrangle you into your ballgown and start to get you presentable for the public.

Since Levi was out sick, Reiner and Porco were assigned to watch over you for the evening. They follow closely as you make your way to the ballroom, greeting guests pleasantly and making your way to the heart of the festivities.

While the ballroom was decorated magnificently, the entire atmosphere felt slightly disappointing and moderate. There were many suitors around, none of which seemed to interest you. In the distance, you could see Miche talking with another tall blonde male, but you ducked behind a waiter to make your move toward the king and queen.

Your parents were talking with lords about their investments and businesses, and all you managed to understand was that they wanted money from the royals. You have to refrain from rolling your eyes, but you stand quietly and listen to the conversation come to a close.

Your mother turns to you, excitement written on her features as she hands you a piece of paper saying, “Here is your dancing card, dear! I’ve already done you the liberty of picking out which suitors to dance with based on their resumes. Have fun!”

She wraps the filled-out dancing card around your wrist, tying it neatly before giving you a giddy smile and pushing you toward the man whose name is first on the list. Miche Zacharius.

You groan internally as you make your way over to the tall man, who grows visibly interested as you break into his peripheral. He excuses himself from his conversation, bowing in front of you when he sees you stop in from of him.

“Princess Y/n,” he says, straightening up and catching the lustrious light in your eyes. You give him a shallow curtsey and reply, “Lord Miche, how lovely to see you this evening.” In the back of your head, you couldn’t help but wish you were anywhere else at this very moment.

Miche tips his head toward you and shrugs, “I think it is I who am the lucky one to be in your presence.” And as if on cue, the orchestra starts playing the next song, a waltz, to which Miche offers you his hand with a, “May I have this dance?” 

You give him a tight-lipped smile and place your gloved hand in his own, allowing the tall blonde to escort you to the empty dance floor. He begins to move the two of you around the dance floor, carefully swinging you through the other couples who start dancing around you.

Miche smiles down at you and asks, “If I may ask, princess, how many children would you like to have one day?” It feels like the air is sucked out of your lungs as you give him a polite smile and respond, “Sorry, I’m trying to count my steps, perhaps we can discuss this later?”

He has the liberty to keep his mouth shut during the first dance, but once the two of you take a break and you look at your dance card, you can see your mother has booked him for the next four dances.

During those dances, Miche asks you too many questions, to which you politely respond. You tried to sound not too interested but also not too dry, simply polite. You were praying for when the fifth song would end, and you don’t think it could come soon enough.

The whole point of the ball was aggravating to you, and you couldn’t help but hate the evening as you were twirled from lord to lord. You wanted to slip out unnoticed, find a pint of wine or something of the like, and complain about all of it to Levi.

However, you manage to stick it out through the night, engaging in pointless conversation and dancing until you are about to roll your ankles. As the night wrapped up and your dancing card was completed, you scanned the crowd, your eyes landing on Porco and Reiner, who seemed to be arguing about which lady in waiting was the prettiest.

You scoff at the two knights, but with them distracted, it gives you the perfect opportunity to slip away. You take one more scan of the room before slowly backing out of one of the doorways. With no one’s eyes on you, you disappear from the ball without a trace.

You had your eyes set on one thing - go check on Levi and tell him about your endeavors that night. You weren’t able to find a bottle of wine to easily sneak out, but you did find a small plate of cheese that you grabbed on your way to the infirmary.

As you make your way back to Levi’s sick room, you can hear the sound of metal scraping. You raise an eyebrow at the noise, and as you poke your head into the small room, you can see the source.

There’s Levi, sharpening his blade in the middle of the night. You sigh and bring your hand up to knock on the wall to alert him of your arrival. His head snaps up quickly from his sword to your figure at his door, his body going tense in a moment.

When he realizes it's you, you can see him relax, but his gaze remains on you, fixed. You can’t quite place the look on his face, his eyes are wide and locked onto you, completely frozen. You duck under the sudden intensity in his gaze, murmuring, “I brought you some cheese from the ball.”

You walk into the room, the ruffles on the edge of your skirt rustling as you place the plate next to his water on the nightstand by his bed. Levi’s silver gaze follows your every movement, no words escaping him. You sit down in the chair next to his bed, grab a small piece of cheese, and pop it into your mouth with a huff.

You glance over to see Levi still staring at you while you chew, and suddenly you feel hot under his watchful gaze. You look down for a second and swallow before asking, “Are you alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

A moment passes as you wait for his response, and it gives you a second to take in his condition. His usually pale cheeks were painted pink with a gentle flush and his skin was slightly shiny from sweat. He must have a bit of a fever, you think to yourself.

Levi swallows thickly as he looks at you, his mouth opening and closing once or twice with no words leaving them. Mistakenly, you think he can’t answer because his throat hurts and he needs water, so you burst out, “Let me get you something to drink!”

Your hand reaches to grab his cup of water, which seems to be empty. In a flash, Levi’s hand has wrapped around your wrist, his silver eyes never leaving your face. The quick movement startles you, which makes you drop the cup, a small amount of water falling onto the floor.

Levi’s sword clatters to the ground, which makes you flinch in surprise. You glance from the water pooling near your feet to the sword that landed on the opposite side of the bed and back to Levi. 

Your mouth parts open in a stammer as you start, “Sorry, let me, uhm… let me grab a towel to clean this-” “You look beautiful,” he cuts in lowly. You raise your eyebrows in surprise at his comment, the words slowly registering in your head.

Once they do, you can feel butterflies erupt in your belly and you glance away from the dark-haired knight and roll your eyes playfully. “Oh hush, you’re just seeing things with your sickness.”

This seems to snap Levi out of his daze and he releases your wrist with a playful scoff of his own, “You wish, princess.” You smile at him, one that he knows is of thanks to his compliment. He clears his throat and questions, “How was the ball? It must not have been great if you are down here all ready.”

You lean down to pick up his cup off the wooden floor, a groan falling from your lips, “It was all crap, Levi. It was men who wanted money, men who wanted the crown, and men who wanted to dance. It was so annoying. ”

You straighten back up, placing the cup back on the table and skirting around the water on the ground. Levi chuckles at that, and he motions to the edge of his bed with his chin and says, “Tell me all about it.” A giggle falls from your lips as you move to sit near his feet and you reply, “As long as you’ll listen to me complain about how terrible of a dancer Miche is!” 

The rest of the evening is peaceful compared to the stress of the ball, the two of you making fun of the suitors and princes from across the countryside. You don’t even realize how late the evening runs, but you do know that you aren’t ready for bed just quite yet.

---

A couple of days had passed since the suitor’s ball and Levi had been put down with his illness. Thankfully, after another day or two of rest, he seemed to turn for the better and was ready to get back to the service.

Just around 8 o'clock in the morning, just as he always would, Levi makes his way toward your bedroom, feeling energetic and recovered from being sick. He stops in front of the familiar and grandiose door, pausing in thought before knocking on the dark wood.

He waits for a minute or so, but he doesn’t hear any noise from the other side of the door. The dark-haired knight sighs in slight annoyance, it’s his first day back, after all, and you aren’t responding. Levi knocks again on the door, this time a little harder and with more urgency.

When he is once again met with silence, he takes it upon himself to call out, “Princess Y/n? Are you alright?” To anyone else, it may have sounded like he was just calling out to you, but between you and him, he knew there was worry in his voice.

His impatience seems to take over him, and Levi finds his fingers wrapping around the door handle and pushing it open. As he steps into your room, one he had been in many times, his steely gaze rakes across every detail he sees.

Your bed was empty and remade, so you weren’t asleep. The loveseat in the corner of your room where you typically sat and read was also void of your presence. Levi turned toward the bathroom that was connected to your room, but there was no sign of candlelight or movement.

A sigh falls from Levi’s parted lips in frustration, and he shuts your bedroom door behind him before stepping deeper into your personal space. He opens his mouth, about to call out for you again before he sees a figure moving in the walk-in closet behind your desk.

It’s you, thankfully, and Levi’s figure relaxes as he takes in the… interesting sight of you. You were shuffling out into the main space of your bedroom, your hands grabbing at the bodice of the dress, with a slightly irritable look on your face.

He almost cracks a smile as he watches you fumble and almost trip as you make your way up to him, but instead, he murmurs, “Well good morning to you, princess.” You give him a playful scowl and mutter, “Shut up, …and help me zip this please?”

At the end of your sentence, you swivel 180 degrees, showing him your half-exposed back, where you couldn’t quite finish zipping the dress up. You wait a moment and then rush out, “I don’t know where my maids are and I couldn’t find anyone else to help-”

“It’s alright,” Levi’s voice cuts in lowly, and you can hear him take a step toward you. This makes you relax, shuffling your hands to pick the dress up to the correct height to be comfortable. 

However, with your back to Levi, you miss the complete and utter look of nervousness and awe on his face as his hands make contact with the soft skin on your back. His typically stoic resolve crumbles when his hands just barely begin to quiver as he grabs a hold of the fabric and begins to pull it taut.

Levi is silently cursing the heat that is rushing to his face, swirling in his chest, and giving him butterflies in his stomach. With pink dusting his nose and the close proximity to you, his magnificent best friend, he wasn’t sure what to feel. But, he pushes through, his hands grabbing onto your waist so the zipper would slide up the fabric with more ease.

You aren’t in much better condition than Levi, and you’re glad he can’t see your face. Heat is coursing through your veins, but his warm touch has chills running up and down your spine. A shuddery breath escapes you as you feel his palm flatten against your waist, and you have to will yourself to be calm as he works on zipping you in.

His fingers work in good time, making sure the intricacies of the dress are not damaged or pulled on as he zips the dress up closer to your neck. At the top of the zipper, there is a small clasp to keep it from pulling apart, and he brings both hands up to clasp it.

You feel his warm breath on your neck, and you can feel goosebumps rising on your skin from the small distance between the two of you. It’s completely silent between the two of you as he takes a minute step backward, but it’s enough for you to feel like you can breathe.

The air is thick, heavy almost. There was tension, and you aren’t quite sure where it originated from. You can’t help but be disappointed when his warm hands leave your waist, and you try to fight down the butterflies in your belly as your brain processes his touch.

You liked it. No, you needed more of it. 

What? How could you think that? Levi was your… what was Levi?

As you turn around to face him, you give him an uncertain and slightly shy smile and whisper, “Thank you.” Levi holds your (colored) gaze, looking deeply into what could almost be his favorite color, and gives you a subtle nod.

He was just your personal knight, right? He was your best friend, right? …You had no idea. 

You take a shuddery breath and start, “Levi, there’s something I-” but you are interrupted by a flock of maids bursting into your room. You jump away from Levi, who also takes a few steps backward and moves to stand near the door.

“We are so sorry, Princess Y/n, for being late! We knocked on the door several times but we did not hear an answer,” one of the older maids says, curtsying low in front of you. You turn to face her and you give her a tight-lipped smile and reply, “It is quite alright, Marie.”

The maid stands up and urges, “You must not be late for your foreign policies lecture, the queen will have my head if you are not on time!” You give her a nod and looking over her shoulder to Levi, you ask, “Walk with me?”

The maids clear out of the way, dispersing as quickly as they came. Levi clears the doorway for you, letting you lead the way down the hall. It was quiet for a moment before the dark-haired knight cleared his throat and murmured, “You were saying?”

“It was nothing,” you rush out, wringing your hands together in a nervous fashion. Silence falls between the two of you again, and you direct your vision to the many doors and paintings you pass on the way to the lecture hall.

It’s an uncomfortable silence, so you try to break it with a joke, “I was surprised you weren’t earlier than you were this morning, seeing as it is your first day back since your illness.” Levi scoffs at your remark and refutes, “I do believe it was you who was up earlier than normal, I knocked on your door precisely at 8 o’clock.”

You giggle at this, your hands still fiddling with one another as the pair of you glide down the hallway. The banter picks up between the two of you as normal, but Levi couldn’t help but feel like there was something you may have been hiding from him.

However, he brushes it off and tries to think nothing of it while he stands guard outside of your lecture hall. He tries to focus on getting back into work and pushes the feeling of your skin and body out of his mind.

---

It had been a few days since the zipper incident and the king and queen announced that they wanted to host a festival in the town square with the spring season ending and merging into a beautiful, warm summer. 

For you, it was one of your favorite times of the year, since you got the chance to meet with the children of the town. You loved playing with the children, encouraging their interests, and not letting them give up on their hopes and dreams.

You adored events like this, so it was only natural that you were getting dolled up to meet with the people of your home. The festival typically hosted live music from the best musicians around, food brought from all over the country, and the town square decorated to the top for the best area to go dancing.

You spent most of the morning getting ready for the festival. You had to make sure your dress was absolutely perfect - not too extravagant, but still dressy enough for everyone to recognize you as the princess. Then, you put the finishing touches to your makeup before Levi came knocking on your door around noon. 

“Are you ready?” he asks as he guides you through the castle and out through the gates. You sigh dreamily before answering, “I believe so. This is one of my favorite times of the year, after all.”

The two of you made your way down to the town just outside the palace, where people were bustling about, trying to finalize the touches to their stalls. Children were laughing and playing, running around with yellow and red streamers in their hands.

Levi guides you around them, leading you toward the heart of the festival, and your favorite place to be: the dance floor. There were even more children here, and the orchestra was just set off the to side of the tiled area, a joyful tune bouncing off of their strings.

You leave Levi’s side to join them, falling in with the children to dance and let loose. The daytime was made for the children during the festival, and then when the stars would come out and the sun sank below the horizon, the parents would enjoy themselves.

You sing and dance with the children for what seems like hours to Levi, but he doesn’t mind as he stands guard on the edge of the town square. He could easily see you but also maintain a visual around the dance area, his silver gaze on the lookout for any potential intruders.

The songs seem to blend together until a small brown-haired boy grabs onto your right hand. He tugged on your fingers for a moment and asked, “May I dance with you, Princess Y/n?” Your heart feels like it’s about to burst with the sweetness from the young boy, and you give him a sweet smile and a nod.

“Lead the way, good sir!” you chuckle out as you motion to the opening dance floor. Your sage green and dark brown colored skirts ruffle as you are led onto the floor by the bouncing young boy, and you can’t help but giggle as other young girls and boys join you in the middle of the town square.

You can hear the live orchestra count off, and the little boy offers you his other hand to dance, and with a genuine smile, you accept. Since the boy was maybe 8 years old, you had to lean down to hold both of his hands, but he didn’t seem to mind as he began to spin and twirl you around to the music.

While slightly clumsy and uncoordinated in his movements, you didn’t mind the boy's antics, giggling and laughing as the boy spun you, and you spun him. The other children were no different, gleefully dancing the night away.

You didn’t seem to notice Levi’s silver gaze watching you sharply, noting how you giggled each time the boy spun you or the way your eyes lit up when you got mixed up in all of the children dancing. To the dark-haired knight, you looked perfect at that moment.

With the afternoon sun’s warm rays casting down on you, you were simply golden. The festival's market stalls with red and yellow banners donning the kingdom’s insignia were paled in comparison to you. Although you were wearing a more simple gown for the festivities, you shone brighter than any of the lanterns or rays from the sun.

Levi couldn’t tear his eyes away from you. To put it simply, you looked gorgeous. Not just in the way that you were dressed and styled, but in the way that true joy brings out the best in someone. He could feel how raw your emotions were as you danced, and he couldn’t help but wish he was the one swinging you around instead.

Just as the upbeat song ended, Levi felt a passive tap on his side. He instinctively reached for the hilt of his sword, but when he looked to see what had bumped him, he immediately stopped.

There, looking up at him, was a little girl no older than 3 or 4 years old. She had dark, black curls falling around her face, and her bright blue eyes were wide as she stared up at the knight. The little girl taps again on his hand, slightly bouncing as she giggles, “Dance, dance!”

Little did Levi know, you had stopped dancing to catch your breath and talk to him, but you ceased your movements when you saw the little girl next to him. You can’t help but hold your breath as Levi turns to face her, and you can just barely make out the words he says.

“I’m sorry, miss,” he starts, moving to kneel down so he is at eye level with the girl. A frown starts to crease between her eyebrows and she repeats, “Dance! Dance!” She stomps her small feet against the ground in protest, and Levi says as he tries to explain, “I’m working right now, I’m not allowed to dance.”

Tears begin to well up in the little girl’s big blue eyes, threatening to spill down her smooth cheeks. Levi glances around for a second, eyes scoping to see if anyone watched him make this child cry. 

From the corner of his periphery, he catches sight of you watching the interaction. He groans internally, but then he sees you motion to the little girl, and he turns to face her again. She reached across to where his arm was resting on his knee, gently grabbing his fingers.

“Dance?” She repeats softer this time, the tears sliding from the edge of her eyes and down her cheeks. Levi’s heart can’t help but melt a little at the touching sight and he lets out a sigh of defeat.

“Just one dance,” he manages as he stands up straight, offering the girl his gloved hand. Instantly, the little girl starts smiling and giggling, “Dance! Dance, dance!” before launching onto Levi’s thigh.

He’s caught off guard for a second, stumbling back a few steps before regaining his balance. The little girl just laughs the entire time, and once again, Levi glances around for help. Unsure of what to do, he reaches down and picks the little girl up by her small waist, hoisting her up to his side opposite his blade.

Just then, the music started to pick back up and more people were making their way to the dance floor, and Levi begrudgingly followed, much to the little girl’s enjoyment. As he shuffles toward the edge of the dance floor, he catches sight of Zeke and Porco, who are standing guard on the other side of the tiled area.

He could see the two blondes snickering to themselves, pointing to the little girl and back to Levi. He can feel a moment of rage well up inside of him, but he pushes it down as he turns to face the little girl and says, “May I have this dance, miss?” 

The little girl throws her arms around Levi’s neck and giggles, “Dance, now, now!” Not a moment passes by before the crowd on the dance floor begins to move in sync with the music. Levi starts to copy everyone’s movements to the best he could holding a toddler, but she doesn’t seem to care about his mistakes.

He twirled and spun the two of them around, slowly but surely letting his guard down as he danced around with the girl. You on the other hand, sat watching the two of them from the sidelines, and your heart was swelling in your chest at the adorable scene in front of you.

I had no idea Levi could be so good with children, you think to yourself, Nor did I know he could dance! 

As the two of them passed by every few seconds, you could hear the little girl laughing away, and occasionally you could pick up the word “dance”. The music eventually slows to a finish, and you once again see Levi get down on one knee in front of the little girl.

He reaches under his short cloak and pulls out a small clutch of white daisies, offering them to the little girl. She smiles brightly at him as he says, “I would gladly dance with you again, miss.” The little girl launches at him again, wrapping him in an awkward hug before grabbing the flowers and running off.

Levi watches her small figure run up to a woman with two children next to her and another one in her arms. A minute smile makes its way across his lips as he sees the little girl reach up and give her mom the flowers, turning to point back at the dark-haired knight.

The woman gives him a grateful smile, and he pushes off his knees to stand straight and gives her a nod. Just then, he hears someone clear their throat behind him, and when he looks over his shoulder, he sees you standing there.

The sun was just starting to set behind you, illuminating your frame in its golden glow. Levi’s breath catches in his throat as he turns to face you, noting the sly smile on your lips. You rock back and forth on your feet before saying coyly, “I saw you dancing with that little girl, soldier.”

Levi feels a wave of heat wash over him in embarrassment, his cheeks slightly tinging pink at your comment. He glances to the ground with a shrug and mumbles, “It was nothing.” You scoff at him and playfully hip-bump him with a giggle of, “C’mon, that was absolutely adorable!”

You can see a smile start to crack through his faux facade and you nudge him again, and he finally caves in with a chuckle of, “What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t just hurt her feelings and leave her to cry.” 

You laugh along with him, grabbing his arm as he starts to guide you toward the food stalls, “And the flowers? That was a bit over the top!” He just rolls his eyes, a pleasant smile on his face as he sighs out, “Let’s go get you some food before nightfall.”

He guides the two of you through the market stalls, and you pick and choose which snacks and foods intrigue you the most. Just as you finish off a small glass of cherry wine, Levi pulls you behind one of the market stalls without a word.

You don’t question his movements, simply following in his footsteps until you see where he’s brought you. It’s just one street down from where all of the festivities are taking place, and it’s much quieter without the hustle of everyone and the harshness of the music.

The fresh air and light breeze swirl around you, making you take a deep breath through your nose that you slowly sigh out through your mouth, (colored) orbs fluttering closed. Levi watches you in that moment, noting the way your hair was coming slightly undone from a small clip that pinned away (colored) locks behind your ear.

Then you open your eyes and turn to him, a sweet smile on your lips as you say, “Thanks for getting me out of there for a bit, it was starting to get a little overwhelming.” He nods under your watchful gaze, motioning to a small bench just down the street.

The two of you sit down for a moment, eyes fixed on the sun setting in front of you. The once golden color was now bleeding shades of carmine and lavender, swirled with rusts and peaches. It was silent except for the sound of the festival on the other side of the stone wall behind your bench, not that you minded.

A few minutes of silence pass between you and Levi before he starts to shift, catching your attention. He once again reaches under his cloak, hand fumbling for a second before reappearing with one lone daisy.

The small white flower was still in good condition, only the stalk of the plant slightly bent from where it resided on his belt. You glance from the flower back to Levi, whose cheeks are once again slightly flushed, and he offers the flower to you.

Your (colored) gaze widens as you take it from him, admiring the pureness of the petals and the beautiful golden color of its core. You move to place it in your hair saying, “Thank you, Levi! This will be a lovely addition to my outfit tonight.”

You struggle for a moment, trying to push the stem through your unruly locks of hair that were tangled from dancing. Levi’s voice distracts you as he asks lowly, “May I help?” You give him a thin smile and a nod, handing the flower back to him.

Levi pulls the leather glove off of his left hand, setting it on his lap before taking the flower from you. His thin digits reach up slowly, so as to not scare you, before pushing the stem of the daisy through your (colored) tresses. He then brushes a small piece of hair behind your ear, securing the flower and then dropping his hand back to his lap.

It’s tense for a moment, the air thick with emotion, but Levi coughs once and then starts, “Y/n, I’ve been meaning to ask-” “This is my favorite song!” you burst out, your attention turning toward the music coming from the other street.

The tune was loud and unmistakably your favorite, and you stood up in a hurry, calling, “We must discuss this later! I cannot miss my favorite song!” And with that, you disappeared around the corner, with Levi sighing from where he was on the bench, his stomach dropping.

But, he takes a deep breath, stands up, and follows you back into the festival.

---

Night had fallen. The sky was a deep, midnight blue, flecked with stars that glimmered in the lantern light of the festival. The crowd was livelier now than it had been before dusk, with all the children tucked into bed and the parents out on the town.

For you, however, you were done with dancing and playing. Now, you had to act like the royalty you were supposed to be representing. And that meant dealing with your father and mother who wouldn’t stop talking about Miche and other suitors.

“Honestly, Y/n, I don’t see why you aren’t getting excited about this time in your life,” your mother chastises, motioning to you up and down with a look of slight disappointment on her face. You want to groan internally at her comment, but you just reply tightly, “I would be excited if I found someone worth marrying, mother!”

Your father clears his throat and insists, “Well I do have another fine set of suitors coming in for you to try out. I even believe one of them is a prince!” Instead of being excited by the thought of more suitors, it simply enraged you.

You rise to your feet quickly, rushing out, “I can’t do this.” You take off through the crowd of lords and ladies in waiting, weaving in and out of the people until you disappear from eyesight. You blocked out the calls of your parents as you made haste, tears starting to burn at the edge of your vision.

Levi witnessed the whole encounter from a few yards away, still standing guard for the evening. He immediately takes off after you without saying a word, skirting around the edge of the crowd while tracking your movements.

You don’t notice Levi following you, too enraptured with the thoughts racing in and out of your mind. Tears are blurring your vision, and you are fighting back sobs as you pick up speed, now running toward the edge of the town.

You clumsily find your way onto the roof of a house near the edge of town, the small building far from the center of the festivities. You clamber to the top of the roof, facing the rising moon, which casts a pale glow that makes it so you can see where you are stepping.

Your mind, however, was at war. More suitors? Can’t my parents tell I don’t like their choice of men for me? Have they not seen how I can’t stand any of them? Why don’t they understand I need someone who knows me…. Who likes to be around me, and I like to be around them?

Someone like Levi, the words ring out in your head. A gasp bursts from your chest and you aren’t sure if you’re crying or trying to catch your breath.

Levi?

His name makes you stop for a second, and as the tears slide down your face and you gaze up at the waxing moon, it clicks in your head. 

Your heart….  Yearned for someone like Levi. Your hands itched to grasp more than just his arm walking to and from a lecture. Your soul hungered for the conversations of intellect and familiarity. Your lips thirsted for his landing on yours.

The last thought makes your eyes widen in realization, but you don’t have any time to process it when someone sits down next to you. The familiar baritone sighs out, “There you are,” making you turn to face the dark-haired knight.

You give him a tight-lipped smile, one that is holding back tears and the few words circling your mind like a mantra. Levi’s silver gaze flits between your tearful eyes, and his features soften as he watches the teardrops stream down your cheeks.

“Hey, hey,” he almost coos, hunkering down a little to look up at your face as your chin dropped to your chest, attempting to stifle another sob. His brows furrow in thought before he asks quietly, “Are you alright, Y/n?”

There is a tenderness to his voice that almost makes you want to vomit, but you manage to strangle a deep breath in and let a shaky one out. You toss your head from side to side and stutter, “N-no, Levi. I- I’m, uh, not alright.”

You glance back down at your hands and stay silent. Levi stays still, deep in thought before gently imploring, “Would you like to talk about it? I am here to listen.” 

This time, when you look back up, Levi can see the moon and stars reflected in your eyes. They were still wet with tears, but your (colored) orbs seemed to hold the entire night sky in them for one second.

And in that one second, a calm peace seemed to wash over the two of you just as you started to speak, “My parents are bringing in more suitors for me to get to know. They don’t think I’m trying hard enough with my royal duties.”

You sniffle, glancing over at Levi and then continuing, “I just feel as if I don’t ever get to do what I want. Or maybe it’s that I’m frustrated they don’t understand what I want.” Levi nods in understanding when you finish talking, shuffling for a moment before murmuring, “Well, they did let you learn to fight, which is something you wanted to do.”

You sway side to side, swinging your head ever so slightly as if to contemplate his words before muttering, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Levi could tell that wasn’t the response you were hoping for, but he was never one to sugarcoat things.

“You need to stand up for yourself, Y/n/n,” he murmurs, softer this time. “They don’t take you seriously because they still see you as a child, following their every order. You need to make them realize you aren’t their precious little girl anymore,” and his gaze locks onto yours with a fiery intensity.

“You’re a woman now, and a strong and independent one at that,” he finishes passionately, moving to stand back up. His words echo in your head, and each time you hear the truths behind them, you can’t help but focus on the tone of his voice.

You open your mouth to reply, but he cuts you off, “Let’s get you back to the festival. We can’t have them thinking their princess ran off in the middle of the night.” At the end of his words, he offers you his hand to take, which you accept. He pulls you to your feet and steadies you before motioning back toward the glow of the festival and says, “After you, princess.”

---

It takes a few days for you to build up the courage to confront your parents about the whole suitor debacle. You knew it was something you couldn’t take lightly, but you knew you needed to tell them sooner rather than later.

And before you know it, you are standing in front of them, heart pounding in your chest as the words that your father just said pound in your head like a hammer.

Your mother and I are in agreement. You haven’t made sufficient effort in courting a suitor, so we have chosen one for you. You’re getting married tomorrow.

It feels like the floor dropped out from underneath you, falling into a nothingness that made your stomach whirl. Married? Tomorrow? You can’t deny their wishes even though your entire body is screaming at you to fight, argue, yell. But you can’t.

So instead, you numbly are whisked away to get fitted for a white gown that you didn’t want. You are run through the order of the wedding and the reception, what you are to do, what you are to say, how you are to act.

You didn’t have the guts to face Levi and tell him of the new development in your life, but you knew he was no fool. He heard the rumors, he saw the preparations. And when he was assigned to stand guard at the main hall the following day, he knew.

You hated everything.

You hated the yellowish tone of the white dress, you always wanted one that was more blush-toned. You hated the way your hair was pinned up off of your neck and out of your face. You didn’t want everyone to see your blank stare and emotionless eyes.

You didn’t want any of this. And neither did the dark-haired knight.

The two of you could only follow orders though, and so uneasily, you survived the night. The following morning comes and you are immediately fawned over by your maids and the wedding planners.

First - your makeup. Second, your hair. Finally, the dress. It was a routine that you had dreamed of being ecstatic about, completely in love with the man you were going to marry. But you weren’t.

There is a knock on your door precisely at noon. Three short taps in a row, followed by two shorter ones. Levi. Just thinking about him makes your heart ache with a pain you never knew you could experience.

A maid rushes to open the door, and just before her hand makes it to the golden handle, you call out, “Wait! Let the guard in and please leave. I require a moment alone.” The maid nods to you, opening the door with a smile and curtsy, sliding out of your room before a familiar figure makes his way in.

You were sitting on a short stool a few feet away from your vanity, staring at your reflection in the mirror hanging on the wall. Your whole image was one of grace and elegance, everything a princess should be.

But the light in your eyes was one of a grounded bird. The emotion in your eyes was reminiscent of a beached whale. The frown on your face with the light of a dying deer, hunted by a mountain lion.

Levi stops in his tracks when he catches sight of you, his mouth parting as he takes in your appearance. To put it simply, you were beautiful. He coughs once to clear his throat, a tight line forming his lips before he states, “I am here to guide you to the main hall, Princess Y/n.”

You turn to face him at the sound of his voice, tears threatening to spill down your powdered cheeks. You can’t fight the wobble in your lip as you utter, “Levi…” You can’t see his brow furrow just a smudge more at the pain in your voice, and you feel terrible for not telling him.

“Levi, I- I-...” and you take a breath, your vision blurring over for a second before you continue, “I am so sorry for not telling you about this plan. My parents-” “I know,” he whispers, his voice thick with emotion.

You sniffle and stand up, wiping tears away and reaching for a small towel to pat your face dry. He watches every movement, in awe that he could be near someone so ethereal, so heavenly. Levi finds words on the tip of his tongue again, dancing through his mind, coursing through his blood.

But he knows he can’t say anything, it’s your wedding day, after all. He bites his tongue to keep them from spilling out of his mouth, instead giving you a moment to steel your nerves. You walk toward him once you have cleaned up your appearance, and you open your arms with a sad smile.

“Can I please have a hug? I think it might be the only thing to get me through the day,” you croak out with a subtle shrug. Levi’s heart is pounding in his chest, bursting at the thought and meaning of your words.

He nods though, and takes a step forward, opening his arms to wrap around your waist. Your arms come to rest around his neck, pulling the dark-haired knight closer. His hands are warm on your waist, a feeling you know you will miss when he pulls away.

You don’t mind the hard feel of his armor or the feeling of his breath on your neck. You wished the moment would never end so that you didn’t have to marry a man you didn’t love. It’s ruined when the bells outside your window start to ring, and Levi forces himself to slowly pull away from you, looking deep into your (colored) gaze.

You sniffle again saying, “Thank you, Levi. For everything.” He bows and murmurs, “As you wish, Y/n.” As I wish? I wish… I wish to live in this moment forever, Levi. With you.

Levi clears his throat again, and you can see his stoic mask go back on. You feel a pang of guilt wash over you, even though you know it's not your fault. He offers you his arm, and for what could be the last time, you take it.

He guides you down the familiar halls of the castle you grew up in. There are people fluttering about, finalizing the touches to the reception to be held after the ceremony, but you do your best to block them out.

Instead, you try to focus on the feeling of your hand on Levi’s shoulder pauldron, the chill of the silver metal keeping your attention on the knight. In step, the two of you make it outside the doors of the ceremony, where you will walk down the aisle, alone.

Levi reaches across with his second hand, the gloved fingers grabbing your own digits. He squeezes them slowly in a way you know is meant to calm you down. It’ll be okay. I’ll be in there. You can do this.

You give him a tight-lipped and watery-eyed smile before gushing, “I’ll see you on the other side, right?” He squeezes your hand again and then steps away with a nod and says, “I doubt you could get rid of me if you tried.”

A dry giggle escapes you, making you breathe deeply for the first time that day. You are handed a bouquet of flowers, and as you turn to thank the maid, Levi disappears. Not a moment later, music starts to play from the other side of the doors right before they open.

You are met with the faces of hundreds of lords and ladies, people from the town, and the face of the priest and the man you were marrying standing on the altar. You take a deep breath before marching like a soldier down the aisle decorated with flower petals and large arrangements.

Everyone is standing, staring. But you try to ignore them, focusing on the feeling of your feet landing flat on the ground, the softness of the ribbon holding your bouquet together. The way your heart beat for another man, but was about to be given away to a stranger.

While it seemed like a mile long, you eventually make it to the altar, and you are met with the face of the man you were set to marry. You knew he was probably a good man. He probably had goals for his career, wanted to father a gaggle of children, wanted a wife he could count on and love.

And you knew you couldn’t do that for him.

Mindless words echo out as you repeat the vows from the priest, loveless and cold. You manage to make it through each line, but just as the priest asks, “Princess Y/n, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

I…. the thought reverberates in your head, I, I don’t love this man, I can’t marry him. 

“Y/n?” a voice calls to you, and it shakes you out of your head. Your (colored) gaze snaps from the priest, who looks concerned, to the man you are about to marry, around to the gathered congregation. In your heart, you knew you were searching for one person. One man you knew your heart burned for.

You turn back to the priest, withdrawing your hands from your betrothed, and you utter, “I, I can’t do this. My heart belongs to another.” At that, you grab your skirts, rush down the few steps, and run up the aisle, leaving the man at the altar.

The crowd gasps in shock at the scandal playing out in front of them, and you see people reaching for you, grabbing at you as you make your way out of the main hall. You don’t hear your father’s call after you, lost in the destruction your heart created.

“Ackerman, find her!” your father’s voice booms out, but the dark-haired knight is already on the move. The knight immediately takes off, running as he tries to keep your frame in sight. He knew you were strong from all of your training, but evidently, your stamina was still intact despite wearing a heavy gown.

You find yourself running blindly, passing maids, butlers, and gardeners finishing up the last touches of flowers for the reception. Your lungs were burning like the red-hot flames from the forge you passed in desperation. You push past all of them, tears blurring your vision as you run as fast as you can away from everything.

You can hear footsteps following you, but you don’t really care who it is or what they want. “Leave me alone, please!” you wail as you tear through bushes, your eyes closed as you burst into an open garden. Unknowing to you, you ran the entire way to the Josephina Garden where you first encountered a certain dark-haired knight.

Not a moment later, a warm hand closes on your wrist, and you are quickly spun around to face the assailant. You blink through the tears as you make out the figure of Levi, concern written all over his face. Your chest is heaving from your run in the heavy white dress, but Levi seems rather unphased.

He takes a deep breath before stuttering out, “W-why did you say that, Y/n? You know you shouldn’t lie about stuff like that, especially in front of your family and, and the kingdom.” You can see the emotion on his face plain as day, like reading a book that you know word for word.

You could see the way his brow creased, like the gaps between paragraphs when the words seemed to stop flowing. You could see the confusion in his grey, steel eyes, that reminded you of the words you had to reread over and over again just to understand their meaning.

Every feature of his face, you knew, though. Levi was like the dog-eared fold in your favorite book, the paper worn smooth from how many times you flipped it open. He was like your favorite line when the girl finally let the guy take her out on the town on their first date.

Levi was memorizable, you knew every piece about him, and every thought and feeling as he stood in front of you, grasping your arm. Yet he was blind, and couldn’t read the book that he was himself.

“I am in love with someone else!” you shout again, moving to pull your wrist away from the grasp Levi had on it. He doesn’t budge though, holding you firm as you try to pull away from him.

He pulls you closer, his second hand coming up to grasp your shoulder as he barks, “Who?! Who on this goddamn earth would you be in love with?!” Levi pauses, looking deeper into your (colored) eyes before his voice cracks and he murmurs, “I’m your best friend, Y/n, you would have told me if there was someone else you loved.”

You take a deep breath and close your eyes, willing the tears to stop flowing and your heart to stop pounding as loudly as it was. You could feel it rattling your ribcage, attempting to crawl up your throat and make a fool of yourself.

And it betrays you in an instant.

“It’s you!” you exclaim, ripping your arms away from him in a moment of strength, throwing them into the air. The words ring out loudly, the silence that followed them almost deafening. You peek your eyes open as you look up from the ground to meet Levi’s hardened and confused gaze.

“It’s you, Levi,” you whisper as you lock eyes with him. He turns his head in bewilderment, and then he starts shaking it in denial, “No. No, it’s not. It’s not me, Y/n. Don’t joke with me about this.”

You laugh dryly as you throw your hands in the air again and scoff, “I wouldn’t lie or joke about something like this, Levi.” You meet his intense gaze again and gesture to him with a softer, “You know I wouldn’t.”

You can see him swallow thickly, his hands clenching by his sides. You can see the words forming on his lips, and you can just barely hear them when he whispers, “You can’t…” Levi doesn’t say anything after that, so you take the moment to fill in every question you know is racing around his mind.

“It’s… it’s always been you, Levi. It’s been you since the very first training session when you knocked me to the ground,” you start, your right hand coming up to caress your left bicep in shyness. “It’s been you since that night in the forge when you helped me cope with Rico’s death,” you whisper.

You shrug as you smile fondly and state, “It’s been you since you let that little girl dance with you at the festival. It’s been you since you sat on the roof with me, giving me a taste of normalcy.” You sniffle as fresh tears stream down your cheeks, “It’s always been you.”

Levi is mute. Not a sound escapes him as his mouth parts, unsaid words and questions hanging on the tip of his tongue. You don’t say anything, letting him process each and every moment, reliving them as you did in your own mind.

Finally, he speaks, “You’re lying. You can’t possibly love someone like me.” The words are harsh and cut right to your core. Lying? He thinks you’re lying? The look on his face shows that he is completely dumbfounded, flabbergasted, amazed. 

Emotion and frustration builds up inside you as he denies you again. And then, you’ve had enough and you can’t handle it anymore.

“Believe me!” you shout, your voice ripping at the heightened volume. You pause as you feel your throat tighten and clench. Then, “Bel-believe me, when I say this to you, Levi,” and you straighten your shoulders to match his stance.

You meet his gaze and then your voice rings out, “Believe me when I say I love you.” A sob wracks your body and then you finish, “Because I do. I do love you, Levi, with my entire being.”

Passion overcomes Levi and he lunges forward, grabbing onto your waist as if you would disappear under his touch. He holds onto you for the first time without ever asking, pulling you close to him as he urges, “Repeat that, please.”

You look deep into his eyes as your hands come up to cup his angled cheekbones and you whisper, “I said I love you.” A smile cracks through Levi’s lips as he watches your lips move and as tears well up in his grey eyes he rushes out, “Again!” 

A slight giggle falls from your lips as you repeat, “I love you, Levi.” The dark-haired knight just grips you tighter, pulling you closer and more flush to his chestplate. A moment passes between the two of you, and with Levi looking deep into your (colored) eyes he murmurs, “I love you, Y/n.”

You feel butterflies erupt in your belly, the feeling completely washing over you in mere seconds. Levi moves one hand from your waist to slowly close his palm on your cheek, his head tilting to the side ever so slightly.

“... may I?” his voice comes out so soft you almost miss what he says, but the meaning behind his silver gaze is undeniable. With such an intensity, his eyes flicker from your own (colored) ones to your parted lips, and there is no doubt in your mind.

Not trusting your voice, you nod, leaning into his touch without another thought. His nose bumps yours in a way that could be seen as clumsy and inexperienced, but it’s endearing the way he pauses, allowing himself to enjoy the smallest touches.

He nuzzles you for just a moment before his lips land on yours, soft and warm. He’s slow as his mouth meets yours for the first time. Levi is nothing but gentle as he kisses you, holding you with such a tenderness that it makes your knees weak. You clutch onto him as you let your mouth move against his, enjoying every second of his love.

You can’t bear to open your eyes when you feel him pull away, wanting to savor every fleeting memory of Levi kissing you. When you do allow your eyes to flutter open, you find Levi staring at you, cheeks pink and an embarrassed look on his face.

“Was that not to your liking?” you ask quietly, scared that you had somehow messed up your first kiss with the knight. Levi shakes his head from side to side, and with a small smile, he replies, “No, not at all. I just can’t believe there was something so perfect out there and I never knew it until this moment.”

You feel heat wash over you at his comment, eyes tipped toward the ground. The hand that was caressing your cheek stops your movement, pulling your chin up to face him. Levi’s gaze is so intense it feels like knives are splitting you open and he says, “You are so beautiful, Y/n. I would lay down my life for you if you asked.”

You smile at him and lean into his touch before whispering, “Let us hope it never comes to that, Levi. I don’t think I could live without you.” Levi smiles and murmurs back, “As you wish, princess, as you wish.”

–The End–

Tags: @anlian-aishang @xyumemi @xxdragonwriterxx @starstruckkittensweets @darlingheichou

[chocolvte]

STRAY KIDS REACTION — you watch a horror movie on halloween

AUTHOR’S NOTE — happy halloween my loves! (if you celebrate) i love this holiday so so much, so i had to write something <3

LISTEN TO — psycho by jin dogg feat. over kill

BANG CHAN

you were barely thirty minutes in and chan was already struggling not laugh at how cute you’re acting. clearly, you’re trying to be tough, but the tight grip you have on his upper arm says otherwise.

“are you scared?” he asks you, unable to keep himself from smiling at the way you jump a little bit.

“no!” you protest at the same time the little girl on the screen twists her head around at an unnatural angle, smiling creepily, and you shudder, burying your face against his shoulder. “maybe…”

chan laughs, pulling you into his lap and giving you a comforting squeeze. “it’s okay. i’ll protect you from any demons living in our apartment.”

MINHO

it’s you, minho, and all of his kitties piled up on his bed in one scared cuddle puddle. minho isn’t about to admit that he’s afraid of anything, but he’s holding you and soonie so tightly you’re a little concerned that he might sprain something. not that you’re doing much better.

“oh my god, don’t go down there. don’t go down there. don’t go down th—noooo!”

“what is WRONG with you?” minho says at the same time the killer jumps out from the shadows and he cuts himself off with a scream, dropping soonie in favor of squishing you to his chest.

CHANGBIN

watching a scary movie was your idea and changbin wasn’t about to admit that he was nervous about it. he decided to distract himself with snacks, successfully missing nearly ten minutes of the movie solely by setting up a tray of popcorn, various kind of halloween candy, and two mugs of hot cocoa.

unfortunately, he couldn’t escape the rest of it. you were so absorbed in the movie that you didn’t even notice how freaked out your boyfriend was until a jump scare made him scream and spill hot cocoa all over himself.

“binnie!” you stood up quickly, grabbing a handful of napkins and patting at the spilled cocoa gently. “why didn’t you tell me you were scared?”

“i was just surprised!” changbin insisted, taking the napkins from you with a huff. then he brightened. “i think i need to go wash this off, but you can feel free to keep watching!”

you laughed, pressing a quick kiss to your scaredy cat’s lips. “i think i’d rather take a shower with you.”

HYUNJIN

jinnie was adamantly against watching a horror movie from the start, but it was hard for him to resist your puppy eyes and somehow he found himself curled up next to you on your couch, the opening scene of vivarium playing on the tv in front of him.

“i hate this already,” hyunjin said, flopping back against the couch cushions with a pout.

you laughed, punching his arm gently. “nothing has even happened yet!”

“not yet. you’re lucky i love you,” hyunjin sighed dramatically, snuggling into your side and squeezing his eyes shut as the movie finally started.

JISUNG

oh this poor baby. he thinks he’s going to be fine when the movie starts, but by the end of it he’s hanging onto you so tightly, hiding in your shoulder with his eyes shut.

he jumps when you turn the lights on, letting out a sigh of relief as he registers what’s going on. “it’s over?”

“it’s over,” you smile, kissing him gently. “what did you think?”

“i don’t know. can we sleep with the lights on?” he asks, shivering as he pulls his blanket a little tighter around his shoulders.

FELIX

felix is actually kind of into the movie you’re watching. he’s definitely scared, but it’s fun! the two of you start sitting next to each other like normal, but by the time the movie starts getting good the two of you are completely tangled together, screaming and grabbing onto each other at all of the scary parts.

“no no no, where is he going?” felix’s eyes are wide and he’s gripping your hand extra tight as the main character starts walking down the basement steps.

“he’s so stupid,” you gasp, slapping a hand over your mouth as he decides to investigate a noise around the corner, which makes felix laugh out loud.

the character is dead within minutes, just as you expected, but you and felix scream appreciatively anyway, dissolving into giggles as soon as it’s over.

SEUNGMIN

seungmin isn’t fazed by the movie, but he does think it’s fun to act scared with you. you’re clearly freaked out, so he pretends, screaming right along with you every time you get scared and grab at his arm.

truthfully, he really likes it when you get scared. you’re normally not this clingy, but tonight you’re holding on to him extra tight and he can’t say he doesn’t enjoy it.

he would probably tease you that night, noticing how nervous you get once the lights turn off. through your whole nighttime routine, you were holding onto the bottom of his sleeve (which he found adorable!) so he can’t resist scaring you once you’re curled up in bed waiting for him.

“seungmin!” you whine when you realize it’s only your boyfriend being mean. he laughs, wrapping you up in a hug.

“you’re so cute.”

JEONGIN

“y/n, i don’t like this.”

jeongin hides his face in your shoulder, peeking one eye out occasionally to check on what’s happening on the screen. he always acts so brave in the days before your annual scary movie marathon (always during the week of halloween if not the day of), but as soon as the movie is actually on the screen he gets nervous and starts getting clingy.

“it’s okay, innie. she’ll be fi— oop never mind. not fine.”

jeongin squeals at the sound of the serial killer on the screen hacking into the poor girl’s body, burying his face into your neck. “y/n!”

“okay, okay,” you laugh, finally returning your poor baby’s hug. jeongin sighs at the feeling of your arms around him, finally turning to face the movie.

“ahh. much better.”

[guqin-and-flute]

please tell me everything about yanxiyao. i am invested. nay, i am obsessed. an ot3 made up entirely of people who Deserved Better and they are GETTING IT. i don’t care if it’s deep, agonizing 3AM thoughts that make me question how i think about life and love and the mortifying ordeal of being known or if it’s pointless fluffbits scrounged up from your daydreams. GIVE THEM TO ME

AHA, this delighted me, I’m so glad!! [rubs hands] Okay, you have unlocked the avalanche, stream of consciousness, here we go. Boy howdy this got long, so full rambling under the cut. 

So I’ve already outlined how it starts with JGY, but you’ve probably seen that and I’m probably going to actually write a getting together fic at some point if the scenes start falling out of the sky into my head, so I’ll skip past that for the time being and start with the beginning of the triad. It begins in a most definite V with JGY as the hinge--Xichen and Yanli are very careful and considerate about each other’s time with him and try very hard not to overlap. Most things are separate--sex times, dates, meals (unless it’s everyone [siblings, et. al] eating together), sleepovers. 

However, something happens. Perhaps JGY starts asking to spend a day with both of them, perhaps the greeting conversations when Xichen visits grow longer and warmer and bleed into sitting together over tea, laughing, and forgetting the days plans. Perhaps the way Xichen delights in holding their daughter and playing so very patiently with her begins to completely charm Yanli.

Perhaps it’s when Yanli and JGY leave the toddler with Wen Qing and Jiang Cheng to go for a nice leisurely trip together to Gusu but the weather turns and they have to stay in an inn in the middle of nowhere overnight and Yanli’s health takes a sharp dive all of a sudden and JGY sends a Jin butterfly to tell Xichen the situation and that they’re going to be late. And it’s only after he’s sent it that it comes to his attention that this rinky-dink village’s doctor actually lives in the next city over and is out of town for his daughter’s wedding or something idiotic and won’t be back for days--he has learned this after a slog through the rain to said doctor’s empty house in said next-city-over and then returned to demand of the innkeeper what exactly he’s playing at, sending him out like that when he knew the doctor wasn’t there. And he’s in the process of not strangling the innkeeper when the door bursts open and it’s Xichen, completely waterlogged and anxious and JGY is appalled that he’s just flown through a thunderstorm but secretly very, very relieved he is here. 

And so they go upstairs and Yanli is incredibly happy to see both of them, especially since her fever has gotten worse and she is freezing. She wants snuggles and JGY reasons that they should both get in on it, because more body heat, y’know (he’s only trying to help, there are limited options, here) but he and Xichen both are completely soaked from traveling in the rain and they hesitate. Yanli is very much, ‘Oh noooo, the 2 hot men who need to snuggle me are covered in wet cloooothes?? Whatever shall we doooo?’ And the both of them are very seriously trying to tell her that Xichen will need to take off his robes if they’re going to be in bed together and is she okay with that and she’s like, ‘WhaAaaAaat? 😲 Holy cow, I guess I’ll suffer through :3c’ And they laugh and snuggle and sleep and the next few days is them taking care of her while she apologizes for getting sick and ruining the trip while they maintain that this is very nice, actually, minus her feeling terrible. They don’t actually visit Gusu and just end up spending time together in the inn while she recovers.

So, after that, Yanli and Xichen’s relationship becomes a lot more physically affectionate--they hug when they see each other, they kiss each other on the cheek, Yanli and JGY both snuggle up to his sides when they sit alone on the pavilion with the curtains drawn. The both of them have talked separately with JGY about whether this is okay, whether they’re overstepping any boundaries, and his response was basically an incredulous, ‘Are you joking? This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.’ And so the 3 of them spend more and more time together, and maybe there’s a night where they’re all in Xichen’s guest room at Lotus Pier, maybe having a few drinks, and they get onto the subject of how good of a kisser their A-Yao is and he protests saying that they’re biased because they haven’t kissed anyone else, so how could they know. And Xichen flushes and grins, “Aren’t you sly?” and JGY blinks innocently and says, “I don’t know what on earth you could mean 😇!” and Yanli is biting back a laugh and also a little pink but tilts her chin up invitingly and they do kiss and it’s lovely and JGY realizes exactly how much he enjoys that. And from then on, the Xichen’s guest room is more of a formality/decoy than anything else and their suite just so happens to get updated with a bigger bed because, y’know, reasons.

✨Vibes✨:

-WangXian matchmaking happens in earnest when YanXiYao first start their arrangement because now JGY has a concrete reason to find more excuses for more frequent visits from the Twin Jades

-Something about the 2 of them together makes it so that JGY can break down more easily--when it’s just Yanli, he still feels very protective and it’s hard to show his anger. When it’s just Xichen, he doesn’t want to cause him pain, and it’s hard to show when he’s hurting and despairing. When the three are together he is able to let them hold him more easily instead of withdrawing and isolating himself, and it frustrates him, but is also very good for him. 

-Xichen and Yanli have a very intense and deep affection for each other that rides the fuzzy line of romantic and alterous; they enjoy cuddling, kissing, they definitely aren’t averse to having sex with each other but it usually happens when JGY is involved in some way, whether everyone participates or it’s a voyeuristic situation in whatever capacity (though this may be impacted by the fact that he doesn’t live with them and most days, Yanli is pleasantly lukewarm about sexual activity in general, so who’s to say it wouldn’t happen naturally, in time?) 

-Xichen and Yanli have a relationship that has grown beyond just what they have with JGY and have a wonderful time talking together, giving each other gifts, and exchanging letters. There is a shared exasperation for JGY’s treatment of his health and often look to each other as back up (JGY is annoyed. They simply smile.) They don’t feel the need to really categorize their relationship besides the fact that they love each other, consider the other their best friend, are deeply fond of one another, and plan to all stay as they are for the rest of their lives. (Maybe, eventually, this will lead to a secret marriage ceremony, just for the 3 of them).

-It was after the inn/fever incident that she insisted Xichen call her A-Li

-All 3 have a devious streak and it makes for some very sweet 2 ganging up on 1 and showering them with kisses and affection.

-JGY and Yanli write him joint letters as well as individual ones of their own 

-JGY and Yanli view Xichen as an equal status, commuter sort of parent and ask for his opinions and advice on parenting things. Xichen loves the kids like his own and gets to essentially have a kid without the complicated feelings of them being his heir and going through the Lan’s strict practices and corporal punishment. He takes them at Cloud Recesses for a few weeks every year.

-Each of the men have their own guilt attacks, now and again, Xichen about his involvement being selfish (Heirs! Propriety! His uncle!) and JGY over wanting too much (Infidelity! Reputation! A-Li!), and Yanli--who has done enough soul searching and has very comfortably decided that, no, she is quite fine being happy--calmly sits them down, gives them tea, kisses their foreheads, and makes them hold hands with her as they watch their kids play. 

[toorumochi]

KaruShuu OTP Questions

Ah- I created ehhh 4?? I suppose KaruShuu head-canons posts today but do I regret it? Absolutely not, I loved it. So here you go, have another one, don't be shy, read it.

Also, please keep in mind that these head-canons are completely made up by me in a way of that it's just how I would see it sksksk also here, KaruShuu would be probably adults?? Also married??

Anyways, enjoy~ 🌸

Who is the most affectionate? Sinceee they got married, I'm sure the longer into the relationship, the more they have opened up to each other? Karma would be the type to wake up first in the morning and kiss Shuu good morning, but since Shuu is an early bird, he would wake up before Karma and make breakfast for him. Thats how he shows affection ❤️🧡

Most common argument? Sad to think that they NeEd to argue 🙄💅 but oh well- I thinkkk they would argue over super silly things. For example what to watch (If you have read my previous head canons, you will know what I mean by 'Shrek Marathons'):

"Let's watch something"

"Sure, what do you have in mind?''

Karma would just grin over to Shuu and Shuus eyes would widen, "Hell no"

"Absolutely ye-"

"Karma don't you dAR-"

They ended up watching (again for the 12 time this week) Shrek.

Who apologizes first? Karma apologies fly out of his mouth faster than they stop arguing. Karma would rather apologize than not let them talk for the next few hours.

Favorite (non-sexual) activity to do together? They enjoy getting massage! Ifff KaruShuu was too lazy to go out to get a professional massage for a few hours, they would do it to each other. (It usually ends with them making out later on but I'll delete that part)

Who is most likely to carry the other? Karma would carry Shuu ❤️😩 Ugh bridal style to embarrass him 💀💅

Nicknames?

For Karma, by Shuu: Tamponhead (I used this one in my fanfic and I will forever love it), Moron, Karma. Tbh, I don't think neither like these pet-names or nicknames since that think they are 'cringy'.

Tho, Karma has quite a few: Shuu (Main, he doesn't use 'Gakushuu' but when he does, Shuu melts lol), Pumpkin, Orange, pumpkin pie, Strawberry shortcake (bc he loves strawberries so why not call Shuu one 😌🤚🏻), Sugar cube (Idk I think it's cute, tho I don't know if that's even a nickname- 💀💀)

Also a note: They would definitely not use 'baby', 'babe', 'honey' bc- noooo 😩💀

Who proposes? Karma 💅

Who sings along with the radio? Karma would sing along but he is horrible at singing and Shuu makes him KNOW it by him singing and Karma shuts up but finds it hilarious at the same time.

Who worries most? Both do, depending on the situation. Shuu would be worried about stuff like paying taxes or things like that, meanwhile Karma is worried for Shuus health, if he is eating enough as well as getting enough sleep every night. Shuu is a hardworking bee after all ✨

Who always wants to take selfies with the other? Karma wants to, for example they are traveling somewhere for vacation and Karma wants to take as many pics as possible with his husband so he can later on put them into an album ❤️😩 (KaruShuu as a married couple >>>>)

Who likes to playfully tease the other? Ohhh~ Karma teases Shuu all the time, but there are times where Shuu would feel playful so he would tease back

Who has the weirdest taste in their music? Karma I'm begging you- his music taste changes every week and road trips are a disaster for Shuu

Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant? Karma remembers because Shuu is always ordering the same things since he is minimalistic lol but Karma is a living chaos when it comes to food so Shuu can't remember it all.

Who is embarrassed to take their clothes off in front of the other? Lmao no matter for how long they are already together, no matter if they are married, no matter how many times they had done it, Shuu would be the one to be embarrassed about it every time.

Who tops? ...Okay so here, personally as someone who writes Fanfics, Karma tops. Always. I just- I just can't imagine Shuu as a top?? my friends gave me some really valid reasons for Shuu to be a top but I just can't see it 😩

Who initiates kisses? Both I guess? But mostly Karma

Who reaches for the other's hand first? Oooo here an example! If they are driving in the car, and Karmas hand is free, Shuu usually reaches for it but as soon as Karma needs it to drive, he has to let go. Or if they are in the cinema - Shuu would definitely hold onto Karmas hand the whole time - as comfort, since they usually watch Horror movies together so yea 😌

Who kisses hardest? Who is most ticklish? Both is Karma, but when it comes to tickling, even tho Karma is more ticklish, he is also stronger than Shuu so he can easily pin him down and tickle him, just for the sake to see Shuu giggle which kills him bc God damnit isn't he adorable?

Who brings an animal they found home? Lol depends on the animal. I would say Karma is a cat person and Shuu is a dog person b u t Shuu is allergic to cats so they can't have cats. But I think if Karma would be the one to bring an animal home, it would be a dog.

Who holds the umbrella for the other when it's raining? Karma's shoe laces often get untangled, so when Karma bends to tie them, Shuu stands over him with an umbrella to keep the rain from pouring on him.

Who tries to playfully embarrass the other in public? Karma 😭

Who kills the scary bugs? Oh lemme tell you about this one:

Shuu HATES bugs, since he always had the feeling of his father having a bunch of centipedes around himself whenever he acted manipulative and so on so he hates them. So one time when Shuu was taking a shower, and Karma was in the kitchen, Shuu suddenly screeched so Karma went to check on him. He walked onto a Shuu, covering himself with a towel and looking absolutely T E R R I F I E D at the ceiling, stuttering. Karma was hella confused so he looked up and oop here we go, a spider. Karma obv took the spider off the ceiling to free it, but first he had to tease and scare his husband a little by walking towards the shower stall, "Shuu look~ He wants to be friends with you~", the way Shuu screamed at this made almost all of the windows in the apartment break.

Who asks the weird questions at random in the middle of the night? Karma does that on a daily basis, but when Shuu is a little bit drunk, he would ask weird questions to which Karma never has an answer but he jokes around.

Who hogs the blankets? Karma hogs them and Shuu ends up having a cold the next morning 😭

Who wakes up first? Shuu is an early bird, but Karma wakes up first for work.

Who wants to stay in bed just a bit longer? On weekends, they both stay in bed a bit longer to cuddle ❤️💕

Who always makes coffee for the other each morning? Karma makes coffee for Shuu before he leaves for work 🥰

Who cries during certain films or when reading sad books? Lmao Karma cries during Shrek every time the scene comes up where Shrek had an argument with Donkey 😔

Who gets scared during horror films? Shuu 😩😩 He would (as said before) take Karmas hand for comfort

Who tells their friends/family about the relationship first? Lmao none since GakuHOE is well, a hoe so they won't trust him b u t I have the feeling of Karmas mom being actually super supportive?? But they wouldn't tell her, she would just get the hint and then when she receives the wedding invite she goes "oh-".

What do their friends/family think of the relationship? Rio was shipping this since the beginning of middle school aight, she loves it and she even threw a party for them. #IstanRioNakamura

Who is more likely to ask the other to dance with them? Karma would ask Shuu to dance obv but Shuu would go along 😩💕

Who cooks best? Karma! And Shuu loves his cooking! :D

Who wears the other's jacket? Shuu is the one to wear long coats, and Karma those thicc jackets. Shuu usually gets super cold even with the coat on, so Karma gives Shuu his jacket on top of the coat lol.

Who uses cheesy pickup lines? Karma- anywhere. Have an example:

"Hey Shuu, could you feel the shirt?", he asked Shuu while they went shopping and Karma wAsN't sure about his T-Shirt choice so Shuu was running his fingers slightly over Karmas chest with the shirt still on and thinking about the material, then Karma went: "Know what it's made of?", and Shuu looked at him and was about to answer him, but Karma was quicker and continued, "Boyfriend material", ObViOuSlY with a grin and Shuu was a gay blushing mess 💅 but then Shuu went along, "What do you mean boyfriend? I can only see Husband material", and tuRNED AWAYYYYY~

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other's ear during inappropriate times? AAAA I T H I N K I've written sum like this before- So two things that happened:

KaruShuu were invited to a funereal or sum and pls the church was quiet and stuff but obv Karma had to joke around and he leaned over to Shuus ear and whispered a joke into his ear which made our stubborn Shuu giggle and the church was this close👌 to throw them out lmao

Shuu was at work, and Karma likes to call him randomly, but oh well Shuu picks up and Karma starts to tease him over the phone maybe something very sexual stuff (knowing Karma he would) and Shuu just- he is sitting at his desk and his workers are giving him looks about why is he blushing so much.

Who makes the other laugh most? Karmas jokes always make Shuu laugh, sometimes even cry since they are hilarious.

Who would have to bail the other out of jail? Oh my God- Shuu would have to bail Karma out of jail maybe during college years, but I think Karma would mature a bit more as an adult

What would be their theme song? YOOO- A WHOLE PLAYLIST WOULD BE NEEDED-

Who would sing their child back to sleep? OOO!! Karma would be the type to read stories, but Shuu would sing them to sleep :D

What do they do when they're away from each other? I can imagine that they both have those business trips from time to time, so when they are apart, they FaceTime each other every evening to check on each other. Yes indeed they must stay at fancy hotels for their business trips and they are being served food, but they still check that the other one is eating and sleeping well. Oh and good morning and goodnight texts™️🥰

A headcanon about them that stabs your feels? Oh- oH GOD- That maybe they tend to act very distant at first in their relationships?? Or more cold? For example Shuu, he would not really know nor show much affection to Karma and Karma at first thinking that Shuu doesn't love him at all (which isn't true bc Shuu loves him deeply) but then he after some time figures it out when Shuu opens up to him more.

A headcanon that mends the previous one? That they both after some time spend together, have the opportunities to open up to each other, know each other better as well as find out each others weaknesses and strengths which makes their relationship stronger. I absolutely love them ❤️😩

[spockandawe]

Shen Jiu/Tianlang-jun

Or, I came here for the dunking on binghe vibe, lingered for the aesthetic, and then tripped accidentally into an au that’s actually really compelling me hard that I want to figure out more

(yes it’s the 2k thing that hit me out of nowhere, but i wrote that out and it didn’t scratch the itch, so here we are)

(I always use so many words, let’s just have a cut now)

My general premise as, theoretically, an author: This is set in the canonverse timeline, after Luo Binghe merges the demon realm and human realm. Probably not long after, because things are still VERY much in confusion, both societies are still reeling, unrest is rampant, and Luo Binghe is only just just just starting to figure out that no, he still doesn’t feel very fulfilled. Turning two realms upside down gives Zhuzhi-lang an opportunity to finally get his hands on a dew flower seed to grow a body for Tianlang-jun (he is a patient boy). Shen Jiu is still alive, though honestly, I don’t know how much Luo Binghe bothers keeping him conscious anymore, and there’s my stage.

What I arrived here from was thinking about how I characterized Tianlang-jun for my Shen Yuan/Tianlang-jun fic, and how I’m really leaning into his romantic nature and fond, un-pushy approach to relationships. When I thought about writing those two characters dunking on a stallion novel together, I was like ‘oh noooo, he would have been so disappointed in bingge’ (which adds to an already emotionally complicated situation, what with him having a son at all) and then I was like ‘haha, being disappointed in bingge, something for him and shen jiu to bond over’

And then I was like ‘wait, but seriously--’

So, I keep seeing those shipping memes going around where people describe their favorite dynamics, and I probably won’t ever draw one myself, but a shipping vibe I love is a character in a lonely downward spiral being pulled out of the disaster zone and emotionally reattached to the world. That’s what I’m writing in the sy/tlj, honestly. A vibe I love even more, but which is even rarer, is when two characters are in those downward spirals, and latch onto each other in an intense, codependent, unhealthy way.... and somehow manage to salvage something beautiful from the situation.

Anyways, Shen Jiu and Tianlang-jun.

When I was trying to figure out how to ship them, one of the first questions when I’m sussing out an unusual pair without other fanworks is: Why do they care about each other? And the more I thought about them, the more I realized that they’re each really, really strongly in the mold of the other one’s Favorite Person, who they’d since lost. Shen Jiu is a cold, aloof, untouchable, beautiful person. Tianlang-jun is a quieter person, very pleasant, but terrifyingly strong in some ways, and soft and ruthless at unexpected times. But neither one is exactly a replacement goldfish, which is good, because losing their favorite person was pretty traumatic for them in different ways. Shen Jiu plays more mean than Su Xiyan did, and Tianlang-jun is more eccentric and romantic than Yue Qingyuan was.

Logistically, the idea that Tianlang-jun hates his son made it easy for me to bring the two of them together. In this universe especially, Tianlang-jun feels a lot of scorn towards Luo Binghe, but Luo Binghe is still very strong. He doesn’t have much in the way of weaknesses, and I think even super-traumatized, super-bitter Tianlang-jun would turn up his nose at the idea of attacking Luo Binghe through his wives. But stealing away Shen Jiu, that’s a person who Luo Binghe is almost as ““close”” to as he is to the harem, this is a person with pretty significant knowledge of Luo Binghe’s childhood, and it’s a powerful person with a major reason to hold a grudge against Luo Binghe himself. 

(I don’t think Tianlang-jun has much of a plan, necessarily, when he kidnaps Shen Jiu, the same way he didn’t have much of a plan when he was aiming to merge the worlds together. Like, yes, there’s this big goal, but why? and then what? I’m not going to go off on a digression about this, but I think it is very much a shitty, shitty plan, and that Shen Jiu is not going to be stoked once he figures out he was kidnapped from Luo Binghe because *shrug?*)

So what I want. Emotionally. Is where the two of them do kind of latch onto each other in a replacement goldfish sort of way, but where that kind of closeness really pulls them into sync in a way where they end up attached WAY more strongly than they ever intended to begin with. And also, both of them are dealing with some weird dysphoric feelings (one with four new prosthetic limbs, one with a decaying body) and are trying to power through them by using their bodies as a tool they use, not as residences they inhabit. And I think that Shen Jiu in particular is leaning into his time in the Qiu household in a bad way, and using himself as an incentive to try to nudge Tianlang-jun into doing things he wants. Love me some dysfunction like that, especially if people start having Regrets and/or Feelings later.

I think.... part of the reason I cut off my fic where I did was that Shen Jiu getting his tongue back is going to really, really, really start reshaping their dynamic. In the fic, Tianlang-jun is reading things into his deliberately-vague gestures that aren’t necessarily there, or just seeing what entertains him to see, but with a voice? Shen Jiu is a man with opinions, and he’s so, so, so completely out of fucks to give. When they start engaging with each other for real, they have to start recognizing each other as people, and not as proxyfucking substitutes for Su Xiyan and Yue Qingyuan.

Now, why I didn’t write that whole fic from the beginning is because it’s almost gotta be plot-intensive. Luo Binghe is not going to be happy that Shen Jiu is gone, he’s going to be very interested in getting him back, and if he gets his hands on him, it’s going to be... ugly. Shen Jiu is aware of that, and makes Tianlang-jun aware of that, but Luo Binghe is so hilariously overpowered that it’s going to be HARD to keep them both out of Luo Binghe’s hands without just making them quiet hermits in some corner of the world. And they can’t be quiet hermits, because otherwise Tianlang-jun would never have stolen Shen Jiu in the first place :P 

I am still really, really, really tempted to write it, because like, just imagine Luo Binghe coming for Shen Jiu in his dreams, and all that trauma crashing back into him, and Luo Binghe digging into every old emotional wound, and Shen Jiu trying to cope. And if dream abilities run in the blood, then Tianlang-jun isn’t completely useless either, and I do very much like the idea that protagonist or not, Tianlang-jun is capable of going toe to toe with his son. The picture of them fighting a battle across Shen Jiu’s dreamscape is just... *chef kiss*

(especially because if luo binghe gets into shen jiu’s head, he’ll totally use yue qingyuan against him, and if tianlang-jun gets involved, he’ll use su xiyan against luo binghe, and luo binghe will probably try to use her against him, and shen jiu is perfectly happy to try to make binghe hurt over how binghe’s dad chose him instead of binghe, and it will be so, so ugly all around)

The trouble with this would be knowing where it was heading :P The quiet hermit ending wouldn’t be a bad fit for what I want for the characters at all, but it would be hard to achieve with Luo Binghe still alive, and I still don’t know if I want him dead, or how I would even make that happen. 

But what I do want, even if it only takes shape in one-shots of scattered scenes, is two exhausted, traumatized characters curling up into each other, without any emotions, no emotions involved, definitely not, and accidentally getting super entangled in each other’s hearts. The kind of relationship with a lot of intensity and need and passion, and virtually no healthy coping mechanisms to be seen. I want ‘Separation Anxiety: The Musical.’ I want Shen Jiu with angry clinging, and extra anger if anyone mentions the clinging. I want Tianlang-jun deflecting and deflecting away from his past and his emotions. And part of the reason I’m not sure if I want Binghe dead, is that I want to see if I can get them to a point where one or both of them has a choice between hurting Binghe or helping their partner, and they choose their partner instead.

[badger-writes]

May I ask Star Wars for the Fandom ask? 😉

absolutely!

i'm gonna try and keep answers on this one restricted to

The Skywalker Saga

(which, sure, Disney, your live action remakes of the OT can count too I guess) so folks can ask me to go more indepth on individual trilogies/books/comics/shows if they want (which I highly encourage)

the character i least understand: Boolio & D-O. completely extraneous characters. one exists to steal screentime from Rose and one exists to be a quarter of a plot point that gets completely undone when Rey shows everyone how to get to Exegol anyway. how tf a giant worm supposed to be a mechanic without any arms.

interactions i enjoyed the most: R2 and 3PO. best comedy act 1977

the character who scares me the most: Hallway Fight Vader. equal parts awe and horror

the character who is mostly like me: Porkins

hottest looks character: tbh I think we might be looking at a three way tie between Padme, Rey, & Qi'ra.

one thing i dislike about my fave character: I have too many faves to narrow it down to just one but Rey going from being resilient and self reliant and holding her own destiny in her own hands to the trophy kiss waiting at the end of the one time Han & Leia's leaky garbage bag crotch goblin ever did anything right was capital F Fucking asinine, huh

one thing i like about my hated character: i don't really hate kylo ren, to be fair. his execution is nothing short of schlocky and paint by numbers but there was one point in TLJ where it looked like he was working off an actual ideology and that was pretty cool. plus he's the straight man for the coolest fucking thing Luke Skywalker has ever done and just gets absolutely clowned on dude. I fucking love it.

a quote or scene that haunts me: the net likes to joke about the Darth Plagueis the Wise scene but god fucking damn. what a great piece of acting. ian mcdiarmid stole the whole show for the prequels but this was one hell of a victory lap. haunts me in the best way

a death that left me indifferent: oh noooo not temmin 'snap' wexley who you'd only know you're supposed to care about if you liked and enjoyed the Aftermath novels how will we carry on without you

a character i wish died but didn’t: Beaumont Kim who only exists bc the lamest Hobbit won a soccer bet with JJ Abrams to fill the void left behind once he finished writing Kelly Marie Tran out of the movie.

my ship that never sailed: Greedo/Oola. no followup questions.

[adenei]

Hi! Could you write something about after the war, they are in the burrow and Ginny wakes up because Hermione has a nightmare and her scar is bleeding, and they wake up Mr. and Mrs. Weasley to help her and with so much noise Ron wakes up and comforts to Hermione, and asks why she didn't wake him up. Please? :) You are brilliant! P.S. Sorry if I wrote something wrong, English is not my first language.

Hi anon, thank you for the ask! Here is your request. I hope it translates well for you :)

*******************************************

Nightmares

“I’m only going to ask you one time, Mudblood. How did you get the sword? Who let you into my vault?” Bellatrix had a crazed look in her eye.

“I- I didn't,” Hermione said over and over. “We found it. I’ve never been to your vault, I swear!”

“LIAR!” Bellatrix bellowed. “Greyback, take her away. I have no use for this disgusting, sorry excuse for a human. If you can even call her that.” She cackled as Greyback closed in on her, yanking her up and pushing her against the wall, his disgusting fingers wrapped around her neck.

“NOOOO,” she screamed. “No, please, someone! Anyone! Help me!” Hermione cried.

“Hermione! HERMIONE! Wake up! Please wake up!” Ginny cried, shaking her as hard as she could. Ginny had no idea what to do. She could hear movement outside her room. “Hermione!” she yelled one more time, and finally the bushy haired witch became conscious, just as Mr. and Mrs. Weasley burst into the room.

“NO!” Hermione cried, her eyes were open, but she didn’t register where she was. She was clawing at her neck, where his grubby hands had been, scratching so hard her scar was bleeding. Hermione began pushing against Ginny. “Get off me! Get off me! NO!” she sobbed. 

“Hermione, it’s me! It’s Ginny! You’re at the Burrow. You’re alright.”

“How can I be sure?” Hermione asked with a crazed look in her eye. “What if you’re all polyjuiced to make me think I’m safe? He’s going to kill me, after- after he-”

Ron came bounding down the stairs into the room and pushed his way past his parents, Harry right behind him. “Hermione! It’s okay. You’re alright. It’s me, you’re safe now. They can’t hurt you here. Bellatrix and Greyback are both dead.” Ron rushed right to her side and took her in his arms, squeezing her tight. “You’re safe, I promise. The war is over. They’re all dead. They can’t hurt you anymore.”

Hermione’s violent sobs finally began to even out. It took Hermione several moments before she felt under control enough to look around at the scene she’d caused. Harry was watching her carefully, concerned as always, but he knew that Ron was the only one who could bring her back. Ginny was shaking on her bed, and Mrs. Weasley had tears streaming down her face as Mr. Weasley was comforting her while looking incredibly worried for Hermione.

“Harry, will you go get a towel and bandage?” Harry left the room quickly to fetch what Ron requested. Ron turned his attention back to Hermione. “Was it the same one as always?” Ron asked her quietly as he stroked her hair with one hand, holding her tight in the other.

“N-no, it was worse. This time she actually gave me to-to him. He had his hands around my throat.” She buried her head into his chest as Harry brought back the requested items and handed them to Ron.

“Ah, that explains the bleeding. You must have been grabbing at your throat, trying to free yourself from him. It was another nightmare. You’re alright. Tilt your head up,” he said and she did as she was told. He cleaned up the excess blood, and placed a bandage over the small cut she’d made on her scar.

“Thank you,” she whispered to him. Ron nodded towards her, then he rounded on Ginny.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” he asked her sternly.

“I- I didn’t know. I had no idea, Hermione, I’m sorry.”

“From now on, if you even hear her so much as whimper, come and get me. It’s better when we catch them early.”

Arthur couldn’t believe how grown up his older son had become. Ron had always been a loyal and caring soul, and Arthur knew there was something special between his son and the Muggleborn witch who had been so important in his life ever since first year. “Hermione, if you don’t mind me asking,” he said gently, “How long have these nightmares been happening?”

“Since late March,” she said without any further explanation. 

“Did something happen to spur them on?”

Hermione looked at Ron and Harry then, not wanting to answer herself. “Yes,” Ron took over for her. “Dad, we want to tell you and Mum what happened, but I don’t think now is the time. Hermione needs to rest.”

Arthur nodded as Harry said, “Maybe we can start discussing this tomorrow?”

“I’m sure we can arrange that. Would you just like Molly and I there, or should I gather others from the Order?”

Ron and Hermione looked to Harry to answer. ULtimately, they knew it’d be his decision. “Bill and Fleur, and Kingsley, I think, and the rest of the family, of course. The less times we have to recount things, the better.”

  “Very well, I’ll owl Kingsley now. Hermione, are these happening every night? Maybe there’s something we can give you to help with them,”  Arthur suggested.

“They would happen every night at first, but they started to lessen as time passed. This is the first one in several days. I know there’s dreamless sleep, but I don’t want any. I don’t like how it makes me feel.”

“It’s always better when Ron’s there with her,” Harry said, looking at Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. 

Ron gave him a look before asking, “Mum, would it be alright if I stay with her?”

“Yes, I suppose that would be okay.” It was the first time Molly had spoken throughout the whole ordeal. It made her heart sick to see Hermione like this. She couldn’t fathom what they must have gone through to make her nightmares appear. “Hermione, you know we’re here for you if we can do anything. All you need to do is ask. Try and get some rest, dear.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Weasley.” Hermione responded gratefully. With that, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley left the room, and Harry made sure she was okay before he headed back up to Ron’s room. 

Ron got settled on Hermione’s small bed, as Hermione settled into him. “I’m sorry if I scared you, Ginny. I haven’t had one in about a week, and I really thought they were gone.”

“It’s okay, Hermione. I’m glad you’re okay. I’m going to the loo. Be back in a bit.” Ginny said as she silently left the room.

“Thank you,” Hermione said to Ron. “You’re so good to me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“I’ll always be here to keep you safe, Hermione. I just wish I’d gotten here sooner, before you reinjured your scar.”

“It’s okay. The only thing that matters is that you’re here now.”

“And I’m not going anywhere,” Ron confirmed as he kissed her forehead. Hermione smiled against his chest as she closed her eyes, unafraid to fall asleep now that Ron was with her.

[dreamofragtime]

I think S5e02 “Sorrow songs” is definitely one of my favourite episodes ever! This episode gives soooo much! There would be so many things to say about it, I could write / talk for days...but don’t worry I won’t 😂

First of all, this has been a very difficult week for me (and my family) and this episode was like a balm for my soul. I’d like to start with a couple of thoughts about the case (I know I rarely do, not because I don’t find them interesting, on the contrary I like mysteries and intrigue, but simply because on. my ramblings here usually I’m more focused on Jean and Lucien...am I to blame for that?😉) I don’t know if it is because of the emotional state I’ve been in, or because being a daughter, a mother and a wife myself...but I found it so very moving and poignant. I was so sad for that poor husband and little boy...and everything happened for a stupid misunderstanding, a lack of communication and Elizabeth’s assumptions that if her husband wasn’t willing to try for another baby, that surely meant he was having an affair. That made me think, honestly, about how easy it can be to misjudge even those we fancy ourselves to know better than anyone else...it’s so true, sometimes.

Well, that’s enough with the sadness! I think it’s best if we proceed with our lovebirds, shall we?😊

The first thing I noticed was that Lucien’s hair was still perfectly in place when he appears in scene to answer the phone and Jean comes down almost immediately (also no more hair net for her and I forgot to say I love her hair and selection of clothes in these first 2 episodes of season 5)....those two were up late 😄 I know it!

Second and that was a huge surprise PATRICK SHIPS IT!!!! I mean...first he sees Jean’s wearing a ring when she brings the tea tray and, well being the smartest person in the room she notices (obviously Lucien doesn’t...men!) and she flees the room to take it off. I felt bad for her because she was uncomfortable and embarrassed and she’s been through so much already, she doesn’t need to feel as if she’s doing something “wrong”...not about this. And then Patrick hinting not very subtly at people you’ve known all your life having secrets but of course Lucien still doesn’t get it. The next scene between Patrick and Jean actually made me cry, for what he says...because it reminded me of something someone told me a very long time ago!

Now I have a question for you, do they reveal why Jean is not wearing Genevieve’s ring? Or did I miss anything?

Then what do we have? Ahh yesssss....we have the scene I’ve seen hundreds of gifs about but never knew anything about!

I must confess I rewatched it 3 or 4 times because it was so glorious...what a kiss!!! Everything is perfect! Lucien entering the kitchen and Jean making hot cocoa (that was so sweet and homey) and he who is obviously interested in something else entirely than the cocoa, despite her robe. She responds passionately to the kiss, too but I get it...the Catholic sense of sin and guilt is there...she pushes him away (those hands tho...) even if you ask me she seems happy.He asks her to join him for something stronger perhaps (really Lucien what were you thinking? 😄) and Lucien’s face “now I really ruined my chance” is worth one million pounds. What happens next was another big surprise, I thought we had been gifted enough with the kiss, but noooo...Jean in her room looking at her reflection in the mirror. I found this another very emotional moment. It’s obvious she’s asking herself so many questions, after what’s just transpired between the two of them in the kitchen. When the time comes would Lucien find her attractive? It’s obviously been a long time since she’s been with a man and they’ve been dancing around each other for so long, and they’ve waited for so long to be together, will she be confident enough to show him how much she loves him with everything that she has, with everything that she is? And what about him? How will their first night together be? But then she takes all the strength she has and she goes for it! She takes the (probably new) white night dress from the drawer and she wears it, she even put make up on her face...I found it so sweet and Jean so very determined it really brought tears to my eyes...she’s such a wonderful woman! But then Rose sees her and she smiles because she’s understood everything and she doesn’t judge her, on the contrary I think Rose is happy for them but it’s too late and Jean loses her nerve and probably even thinks that was some sign from God, that they should wait until they’re married and the next morning she goes into confession...and I’m not even disappointed because she was so in character here.

The day after, when they are interrogating Tomas he says something about his relationship with Nadia...that he would have waited for her to be ready, that he would have never hurt her, well that really could easily apply to what happened the night before with Lucien and Jean. He respects her and he doesn’t push her if she doesn’t want!

The pine bark scene was probably the most hilarious thing I’ve ever seen and Lucien asking Jean if it works for the menopause and she just arches her eyebrows 😂😂😂 and when he drinks it...well Jean lock your door very tight tonight because if it has an effect on Lucien you should definitely be worried 🤣🤣🤣

And here we are...last scene. Another wonderful gift (I don’t know if I should be worried because it’s too much happiness in one go 🤞🏻) Lucien being a lovesick puppy with those big shiny eyes looking at her because she’s the most wonderful woman in the entire universe and he also recites old Romani songs (stop being so cute please) and our amazing Jean telling him she’s glad he has the amulet to look after him when they are not together 😭 and can we talk about the candlelight dance? Is there anything more romantic than the way he takes her hand, the way he holds her, the way they look at one another and that slow swaying together?

[angelofthequeers]

Miladybug

Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.

I signed up to be a backup gifter for @mlsecretsanta and my giftee turned out to be @chimpukampu so I hope you like this fic!  ❤️💚

AO3 link

“Where’s…Adrien?” Marinette pants when she’s tumbled into her seat, only barely on time for school which, to be fair, is a step up from being outright late. But there’s no familiar blond head in front of her!

“Home sick,” Nino says. “Poor dude’s got a nasty cold.”

“You reckon his dad’ll let him rest and recover?” Alya says, making a face. “Or is he just gonna learn at home?”

“Probably that one,” Nino says.

“Ugh. He’s got the worst dad, I swear. My mum would tie me to the bed with blankets and force-feed me homemade chicken soup.”

Ms Bustier clears her throat, cutting the conversation short. But Marinette can’t concentrate. All she can think about is poor, sick Adrien, and how she should maybe swing by later that night before patrol with a box of delicious baked goods…but no, she can’t. Between her love for Adrien and the feelings for Chat Noir that she’s trying to shove a lid on, it’s the last thing her tangled heart needs, not to mention that she’d probably end up a flustered mess like when she’d given Adrien the Snake Miraculous and then he’ll think she’s totally uncool and won’t want to talk to her and she’ll have blown her relationship with him on both sides of the mask and –

Marinette shakes her head with a soft groan and forces herself to pay attention to the lesson. Dwelling on it won’t do anything except send her brain spiralling, which is never a good time for her.

Once school’s over, she distracts herself until patrol time making a get well soon card for Adrien, even though she probably won’t have the guts to even sign it, let alone deliver it. Besides, the universe will probably kick her in the gut if she does; after all, she’d forgotten to sign her Valentine, and she’d signed Adrien’s birthday present, but her signature had somehow vanished. Tikki perches on her shoulder, munching on a cookie while Marinette sticks a scarlet heart to the front of the pink card and then sprinkles a touch of pink glitter on it.

“What do I even write?” she says when she opens it. “Dear Adrien, get well soon! Love, Marinette.” She groans and thumps her head on her desk. “No! That’s the most generic message ever! And “love”? Gah! That’s too – too – coupley!”

“I thought you wanted to be a couple,” Tikki teases.

“Yeah, but not through a get-well card when he’s sick!” Marinette says. “Ugh, this is a disaster!”

“Well, it’s almost time for patrol,” Tikki says. “Why not head out a little earlier to clear your head? Then you can work on your card when you get home!”

Marinette exhales and lets her shoulders slump. “You’re right, Tikki,” she says. “I’m freaking out over nothing!”

“Hey, I didn’t say that!”

“Yeah, yeah. Tikki, spots on!”

As Ladybug, all her worries seem to melt away once she’s swinging through the sea of lights that make up Paris. Although she could make it to the Eiffel Tower in less than a minute, she decides to take the scenic route and keeps a nice, relaxed pace through the city. At one point, she even closes her eyes and lets herself plummet, laughing at how the wind whips through her hair and howls in her ears, then opens her eyes and throws her yo-yo just in time to stop herself from crashing into the ground.

Even though she’s early, Chat Noir is already at the Tower when Ladybug lands on the platform at the tip, her pigtails a windblown mess and her cheeks flushed warm with blood. He gives her his signature smirk, although it’s lopsided.

“Milady!” He lets out a giggle. “Get it! Because you’re a ladybug! You’re milady…bug!” He squints at her and adds, “You don’t look like a bug, though. Your eyes are…” He laughs again. “Pretty!”

“Uh…” Ladybug lets her yo-yo swing. “Is there an akuma? Did you get hit?”

“What! Noooo! No akuma!” Chat Noir lets himself fall onto his back. “I’m happy, miladybug. Bugaboo. Angel. The light of my life!”

Her brow furrowed, Ladybug edges towards her oddly-behaving partner and nudges him with her toes. He giggles again and looks up at her with glazed green eyes.

“Okay, what happened?” she says, crossing her arms. “What did you do?”

“I’m sick!” Chat Noir beams as though Ladybug had just revealed her identity to him. “I have a coooold. But I’m so hot!” He flexes his biceps and says, “In more ways than one, miladybug!”

“God help me,” Ladybug mutters. “What kind of cold could you possibly have that would make you like this?”

“It’s not my cold!” Chat Noir winks. “It’s – it’s the meds! I took cold tablets!” He frowns and adds, “Why are they called cold tablets if they’re not cold? You don’t keep them in the fridge. Maybe you should, though!” He gasps and covers his mouth. “I’ve found the secret, miladybug! I’ll cure colds! Maybe I shouldn’t be a ps – a physicist. I’ll be a biologist!”

So, Chat Noir wants to be a physicist? Huh. Adrien likes physics too.

“A bi-ologist!” Chat Noir says with a rasping laugh. “Because I’m bi! Geddit, miladybug? And I’m bilingual! I’m learning Mandarin!” He gasps. “Are you bi too? Are we balanced? You on this side –” He holds his left hand out. “And me on this side!” He holds out his right hand. “For justice! Lady Justice! Milady Justice!”

“Okay, okay, no patrol for you tonight, kitty,” Ladybug sighs, sitting cross-legged next to him. He immediately shuffles over and rests his head in her lap, and a deep sound rumbles deep in his chest. “Did you just purr?”

“Mm-hmm!” Chat Noir sighs and nestles his head further in her lap. “Cats purr when they’re happy. And you make me happy, miladybug. You’re my – my catnip! I can’t get enough of you!” He twirls his finger near his temple and says, “You make me gaga when you’re around!”

Despite her best efforts, Ladybug can’t stop a giggle from escaping her. It seems that cold and flu medication sends Chat Noir high as a kite and removes any filter he might have. This could be problematic, although she can’t quite put her finger on why because even without a filter, he shouldn’t just up and spill his secret identity.

Right?

“Are you an angel, miladybug?” Chat Noir sighs. “You’re glowing.”

“That’s just the city lights, silly,” Ladybug says and boops his nose. He purrs louder in response.

“Your eyes are so pretty,” he says. “So – so – blue! Just like my friend.”

Alarm bells start to sound in Ladybug’s head. “Chat –”

“Marinette!” Chat Noir blurts out. Ladybug freezes. “You know Marinette, right? Of course you do! You told me to protect her from Nathanieeeel.” He sighs again and says, “Can I tell you a secret, miladybug?”

“Um, I don’t think –”

“I think I like Marinette. She’s so prettyyyy…and she’s always standing up – everyone stands up! No one can sit forever! But she stands up strongly. And she tells off Chloe. I wish I could be as cool as her.”

“Chat, I think you need to shut up now,” Ladybug says, trying to extract Chat Noir from her lap while also trying to deal with the warmth pooling in her gut at his words. Rather than listen to her, however, he utters the words that knock her entire worldview off its axis.

“She’s so beautiful when she’s positive,” Chat Noir says with a strong purr. “She’s the only person in my class who’s never touched a pretty black butterfly, apart from me.” He wrinkles his nose. “Wait, no, they’re ugly. Hawkmoth is ugly. But not Marinette! She’s beautiful. I’m used to disappointment. But she’s strong. Of course she is. She’s a baker’s daughter!” His eyes unfocus. “I wonder if she could carry me like a sack of flour.”

Ice explodes in Ladybug’s stomach, coating her insides. She’s the only other person apart from him that hasn’t been akumatised in their class? But – no, that can’t be – the only other person in Ms Bustier’s class who hasn’t been akumatised is…

Something behind Chat Noir’s mask seems to shift. The blond hair and green eyes are no longer unfamiliar. Now they’re – now it’s Adrien looking out at her with his drug-glazed eyes and lopsided grin –

No. Way. She’s been rejecting her crush all this time for herself! He’s starting to fall for her civilian identity, and he never would’ve let this slip if he’d known it was her behind the mask, drugged or not! And now he’s just gone and blurted it all out to her and outed his identity! What the heck is she supposed to do?

A soft snore snaps her out of her panicked thoughts. Chat Noir has dozed off in her lap, curled up like a cat and letting out little purring snores with each exhale. Before she realises what she’s doing, her fingers are carding through his hair, bright scarlet against soft gold like a rose on sea sand. Okay. She just has to be rational about this. She needs to talk to someone before she has her looming meltdown.

“Spots off,” she whispers. Pink sparkles wash over her, dissolving the ladybug suit and freeing Tikki. The kwami gasps, her eyes bulging as she takes in the scene before her.

“It’s okay,” Marinette says softly, still combing her fingers through his hair. “Adrien’s asleep.”

“Ad – oh.” Tikki’s large blue eyes are fixed on Chat Noir. “You know. How?”

“He’s high on cold meds,” Marinette says. “He let a few things slip. Things I couldn’t just brush off. Like how we’re the only two people in our class who haven’t been akumatised.”

“That would do it,” Tikki sighs. She darts into Marinette’s purse and emerges with a macaron, devouring half of it in one bite. “And you’re not…upset? Freaking out?’

“Oh, I’m about two seconds from losing my mind,” Marinette says rather evenly, still stroking her kitty’s hair. “I think it’s just a delayed reaction. And I don’t want to wake him up or freak out Paris and make them think there’s an akuma.”

“Poor Adrien.” Tikki darts down to press a tiny kiss to Chat Noir’s forehead.

“It makes sense now,” Marinette says. “Why Chat’s so…Chat. I mean, his timing could use some work, but of course he’s going to be that open when he’s Chat.”

“It’s not like he’s a different person as Chat than as Adrien,” Tikki says.

“Yeah, I know that,” Marinette says. She sighs and leans down to follow Tikki’s example and kiss Chat Noir on the forehead. The inevitable meltdown in the next few hours as she tries to process this is going to be huge. “Adrien has his dorky moments. How did I not see it before? He literally told me it was a ‘knightmare’ after Darkblade was defeated! And you knew!”

“Of course I knew,” Tikki says. “I saw him when you were facing Dark Owl. But are you really upset that I didn’t tell you?”

“No, no…it was my decision to keep our identities a secret. I guess I’m just trying to process.”

“Maybe you should process at home,” Tikki says. “You’re clearly not going to get any patrolling done, and it’s probably best for Adrien if he’s at home to rest.”

“But he’s…so peaceful.” Marinette starts to stroke a finger down Chat Noir’s nose over the shiny leather mask, just like her mother used to do to her as a small child. Chat Noir lets out a loud purr and nuzzles against her thigh.

“The longer you try to suppress this freak-out, the stronger it’s going to be when it sinks in,” Tikki says. “And super suit or not, the best thing for Adrien right now is to be resting at home. It’s not exactly warm out here.”

“That’s…true.” Marinette huffs and carefully shifts Chat Noir’s head so that she can stand up. Chat Noir lets out a tiny mewl when his head touches the cool metal of the Eiffel Tower, rather than the warmth of Marinette’s legs. She can’t help but let a laugh slip out when, absurdly, she realises what Chat Noir might have to say about Tikki’s wording. “That silly cat. He’d say suppurress and then give me that grin of his when I groan. I can’t believe I’m in love with this dork!”

“You’re in love with him?” Tikki says. Marinette braces herself for a freak-out that never emerges. Huh. Maybe it really is waiting until she’s home and her brain isn’t currently trying to process a million past interactions at once.

“He’s Adrien,” Marinette says. “Of course I’m in love with every side of him. And okay, so I might have been catching some feelings for Chat, but I’m just going to ignore that. And bury it deep down. Really deep down. And then let it blow up as I scream into my pillow and you float there and try to calm me down and offer me advice about how it’s all going to be alright and I’ll start shrieking about our three kids and hamster and island home and my parents will just assume I’m going on a lovesick ramble again –”

“Marinette!” Tikki says loudly, cutting off the rest of Marinette’s babbling in her throat. “Maybe you should get Adrien home while you’ve still got some semblance of higher brain power?”

“Right. Right. Of course.” Marinette runs a hand through her hair, accidentally pulling some strands out of her pigtails. “You’re right. Tikki, spots on!”

Once transformed, Ladybug scoops Chat Noir into her arms bridal-style and then leaps across the buildings of Paris in the direction of the Agreste mansion. To be honest, there’s a part of her that’s praying to see Adrien in his room, to maintain this charade of Adrien and Chat Noir being two separate people, even though she knows rationally that after Chat Noir’s rambling just before, there’s no way he could be anyone else. But sure enough, when she swings smoothly through the window into Adrien’s bedroom, there’s no one there.

Well, then. Guess there’s no more deluding herself. Chat Noir and Adrien Agreste are the same person. The boy she’s been turning down is the boy she’s been so in love with for so long.

“He can’t detransform like this, can he?” Ladybug mumbles to herself once she’s laid Chat Noir down on the bed as reverently as someone might set down their new bride. Chat Noir snuffles and curls in on himself, then lets out a tiny snore, and Ladybug’s insides melt into goo at just how…adorable he is.

If she’s honest with herself, Chat Noir’s always had a bit of her heart that Adrien never had. It would’ve been easy – so very easy – to let herself fall for him. But how could she do that when her heart belonged to Adrien? How could she let herself give up on the boy she loved?

Except that now, she doesn’t have to. The two boys who’ve staked claim to her heart are one and the same. It’s not as though her feelings for Adrien have transferred to Chat Noir now that she knows they’re the same person. It’s more like…acknowledging the duality of Adrien and Chat Noir has unlocked her heart, allowing herself to fully love both sides of the same boy, simultaneously so similar and yet so different.

Ladybug blinks and shakes her head. Of course she’d stand there and wax poetic over her sleeping kitty. But how is she supposed to detransform him without waking him up to have him say the words? She can’t really leave him there as Chat Noir in case someone comes to check on him and finds a leather cat superhero where the sunshine prince of Paris should be. She bites down on her lip to stifle her laughter at that thought, to avoid waking him.

“Forgive me, mon minou,” Ladybug whispers. She takes his hand in hers and starts to slide his ring off, ever so slowly, making sure that he doesn’t wake up and start freaking out that someone’s trying to remove his ring. She freezes when he grunts, but his head just lolls to the other side and he continues to snore softly, his exhales whistling just like hers do when she’s all clogged up from a cold. Poor kitten.

In a flash of green light, Chat Noir is replaced with Adrien once Ladybug finally gets the ring off. Plagg comes tumbling out and whips around, no doubt to investigate why he’d been forcibly freed from the transformation, so Ladybug just raises a finger to her lips, Plagg’s Miraculous in full view, and then carefully twists the now-silver ring back onto Adrien’s finger. Plagg watches her silently, his bright green cat eyes rather eerie in the rolling shadows of Adrien’s room cast by the lights outside his window.

“I can’t believe he’s my kitten.” Ladybug sits down next to Adrien, careful not to disturb him, wincing when he forces in a particularly loud gulp of air. She resumes stroking her finger down his nose just as she’d done on top of the Eiffel Tower and he seems to lean into the touch with a soft purr, although that could just be her imagination.

“Thanks for taking care of him.” Plagg’s voice is soft, both in volume to not wake Adrien up and in tone, unlike his usual crassness. “I tried to get him to skip out on patrol tonight.”

“He should have. Silly kitty.” Impulsively, Ladybug bends down and smooths back Adrien’s soft hair to press a kiss to his forehead, her lips lingering on the hot skin. She won’t kiss him on the mouth, not while he’s asleep; that’s a privilege that she has to earn when he’s awake and aware. “I wish I could help.”

“Kid, trust me, when I tell him Ladybug kissed him, that’ll help him plenty,” Plagg says. Then he smirks, his fangs glinting in the dim light. “He’s gonna freak when I tell him Ladybug knows who he is. Maybe he’ll finally shut up about his lady and her silky hair like night and her bluebell eyes –”

“Plagg!” Ladybug hisses as blood rushes to her cheeks. “Don’t be a turd!”

Plagg just cackles quietly. “You should go, Pigtails,” he says as he zips down to snuggle on the pillow next to Adrien’s head. “I’ll watch out for him. Wouldn’t want to be late for school tomorrow, would ya?”

“You and I both know I’ll always be late, Ladybug or not,” Ladybug say. But she still rises from the bed as gently as she can, then turns back to leave one last kiss on Adrien’s forehead. “Sleep well, mon chéri.”

“Gag me,” Plagg mutters. Ladybug rolls her eyes at him before heading for the window, tiptoeing so that her kitten can sleep peacefully. She her yo-yo to catch on a nearby chimney, blows a kiss back at Adrien, then leaps out into the cool Parisian night.

“Don’t worry, Adrien,” Ladybug murmurs as she reflects on the action-packed events of the past hour, praying that she makes it home before it really sinks in and she starts to scream, because the last thing she needs is to scare the living daylights out of Paris. “I’ll carry you like a bag of flour tomorrow. Just you wait and see.”

[britishchick09]

1984 livewatch

the time has finally come to watch the full movie! it’ll be sad, it’ll be disturbing, it’ll possibly be cringy, but it’ll be a lot of fun! :D

we start out with the mgm lion! noice ;)

epic quote B)

wait why is opera music playing i thought we’d start at the 2 minutes hate

OMG what if they’re gonna hate on opera

this looks like a drive-in movie tbh

narrator: “this is a land of peace and hope, a land of plenty...” OH SHUT UP YOU

they’re showing wheat like it’s little house on the prairie BOI YOU’RE IN LONDON

this is epic propaganda B)

what if the war footage was taken from ww2 and thus... isn’t real :o

HOLD UP is the eurasian war racist?

THE QUEEN HAS ENTERED THE CHAT

WHAT ARE THEY ALL SHOUTING I CAN’T HEAR WHAT THE FDR GUY IS SAYING SHUT UPPPPP

oh no it be u (his face is like ‘WHAT IS GOING ON’ and it’s very lol)

julia’s so into this! :o

o’brien’s like ‘ohhh!!!’

look who decided to SHOW UP FINALLY

he pauses a bit before reluctantly joining in yas ♥

OMG THIS IS LIKE A SCHOOL ASSEMBLY STOP TALKING GEEZ

good they stopped!

WOWWW DON’T EVEN LIST SUZANNA HAMILTON’S NAME WITH THE OTHERS GIVE HER A ‘WITH’ CREDIT WOWWWWW

this IS a school assembly they’re going back to work!

winston in glasses *chef’s kiss*

ooh a rotary dial! great use of tech from when the book was written :D

winston’s looking over at syme WITH SO MUCH JEALOUSY lol

what if the words they speak are just random stuff with no meaning

OMG confession!!!!!

poor winnie with his cough :(

this confession sounds JUST LIKE WINSTON’S OMG!!!!

winston: “bugger!” he’s a brit lol :D

epic B)

OMG this guy read goldstein’s book SO DID WINSTON!!!!

i love how the diary is in a brick hole that’s so cool :D

the diary scene was filmed on april 4th just like in the movie so that’s way rad man :D

i want you valley!!! :D

ooh they’re put a smol scene of his childhood in there coolio! :D

he  s l e e p

this violin squeak tho :o

OMG THIS IS THE STANDING UP SCHOOL SCENE

it’s not but i can easily imagine it lol :D

he’s a stick omg ;o

when the lady talks to him you know it’s not a recording ;)

lady: “anyone under 45 is perfectly capable of touching his toes” BOI

oh no PARSONS

parsons: “choco rations are going up” c h o c o

parsons: “i seem to have run out of razor blades for some reason’ yeah,,, for some reason... ;)

this is so a cafeteria scene at school

THEY SAW EACH OTHER OMG

♫ i suddenly see him standing there, a beautiful stranger tall and fair, i wanna stuff this weird food in my faaaace! ♫ :D

me: “this is so romantic!” winston’s thoughts: “lemme smash HER WITH A ROCK”

wait did the lady say pineapple grenade???

HIS FACE LOOOL

syme rip boi

the 11th edition isn’t thicc :/

aww winston’s smol nod ♥

parsons: “by 2050 we won’t have conversations like this!” yeah because of screens lol

OMG the food looks and taste like meat but isn’t IT’S PLANT BASED MEAT!!!! :o

parsons just pulled a ‘hey need help with that?’ and put winston’s food on his plate EPIC

julia’s lookin’ at u ;)

YAS PROLES HOPE!!! :D

oh no DON’T TALK ABOUT THE 50 YEAR OLD WOMAN SEX WINSTON

OH NOOOOOOO

he liked the ‘bright red lips’ yet...

THIS CHICK’S LIPS AREN’T BRIGHT BOI

poor baby desperate for money :(

let’s GET THIS BEAT

hand on cheek = doublepluscute ^_^

epic foreshadowing B)

OMG CHESTNUT TREE POEM FORESHADOWINNNGGGGGG

OMG a couple is making out in the bar EPIC

winston’s just like ‘nnope’

OMG THE THOUGHT POLICE WERE FOLLOWING????

he’s at an antique store in prescott bless his heart ♥

mr. charrington sounds so kind WHYYYY

THE BIRTH OF A QUEEN ♥

mr. charrington says ‘4 dollars’ but they’re in london??

YAS BELLS OF ST. CLEMENS!!!! :D

winston: “what was that?” mr. charrington: “something old.” no DUH

they see each other againnn!!!!! :D

winston writes that he hates her SAME WITH A LOOK LIKE THAT

OMG SMOL WINNIE BIG O’BRIEN????? :o

his mom is lying dead in the field like the erza kid in ‘kirsten’s promise’ :(

he’s just... staring

OMG SPYING ON THE SPICY STARING ACTION :o

she PLONKED

that ‘ow!’ was so fake jules!

this is like anna and hans but not as bad underneath!

julia: “it’s nothing!” but this is turning out to be something... ;)

we’re half an hour in and wowza it’s gone by so fast! :D

winston: *gets a cute love note from julia* YEET!

THE HELICOPTER IS BACC!!!!! they’re really not making the spying subtle

OMG THIS IS THE THOUGHT CRIMINAL SCENE YAAAAS!!!!! :D

winston is the best plummer confirmed

kid: “you’re a thought criminal!” winston: *gives a slight ‘wha’ face and smiles* ICONIC

:)

the crowd is clapping and cheering over the war yet winston’s not doing anything SAME

jules is just scooching by lol

HAND HOLDING WHILE PASSING A NOTE OMG ♥♥

the sky does exist! :o

the telescreen has some great music :D

winston’s joining the ‘big man’s hiking group’ suure you are... ;)

the train is going to the beat of the kids’ singing coolio! :D

big brother is called ‘bb’ yas bby!

YEEES THE I WANT YOU VALLEY SCEENE!!!!!

the lq audio made the twig crack and the leave brushing really weird lol

winston: “i want you.” I-CON-IC!!!! :D

THAT SMIRK THO

winston: “i want everyone corrupt.” julia: “i’ll suit you, then. i’m corrupt to the core.” *mal screech*

OH NONONONOONO SHE GONNA TAKE HER TOP OFF BI PANIC BI PANICCC!!!!!

she really went commando huh

ALL THE WAY

the sex looks like it hurts NO WAY MAN NOT FOR ME NNNNOPE

i’m glad it was only a part you couldn’t really see and not a full on thing I DON’T NEED THAT

awww she’s so peaceful after big naughty :)

this is vaguely gay...

aww winston’s hair ruffling in the wind ♥

c r o n c h

also did he just cronch into a potato???

OMG THIS IS JUST LIKE SCHOOL

teacher: “when the orgasm is finally eradicated...” totally julia: “NOT ON MY WATCH”

winston is the kid who smokes in glass while julia is the one kid who Just Doesn’t Care lol :D

thoughtcrime THIS IS THOTCRIME

wow syme is still alive?

julia: “you dropped your ink pencil” you mean pen?

winnie’s back in prescott! :D

the room is 4 bucks a night noice B)

BACC TO THE H8 BBY

the modern say 2 minutes hate is probably just a livestream with kids texting ‘h8 xd’ in the chat lol :D

winston’s thoughts: “she who is so careful...” boi she threw a dictionary at the telescreen in the book THAT’S SO NOT CAREFUL

hey girl CUTE LQ SMILE YOU HAVE THERE!!! :D

YAS THE REAL COFFEE SCENE!!!!! :D

she has so many smiles YAS!!!!

she’s so eager with showing him I LOVE YOU SO MUCH JULES ♥♥♥

she says ‘real sugar, real bread’ and... jam

winston: “how did you manage to get all this?” jules has her ways... ;)

winston: “i want you” julia: “i want you too” YAS :D ♥♥

the thiccc singer is here!! :D

she’s so pretty! ♥

aww the stroke ♥

his hands are shaking as he touches her :(

winston: “freedom is the freedom to say two plus two equals four. if that is granted, all else follows” iconic!

YAS THE PAPER!!! :D

it be gin time ;)

he scratches the face off the gin bottle woah :o

I JUST REALIZED THAT THIS IS O’BRIEN :o

winston’s little ‘yes!’ at getting the 10th newspeak dictionary ♥

that’s a look of longing my friends! :o

winston: “the call has come. all my life i’ve been waiting for it...” and now he’ll go into the unknown... ;)

AAND we cut to naked julia eating an apple! slight bi panic

she’s touching the paperweight queen love it ♥

SHE KNOWS THE CLEMENS YAS!!! :D

julia: “i just know it!” BOI YOUR G-PA HELPED OUT

winston: “the only thing to do is to walk out of here before it’s too late” thus my ‘julia lives’ au comes in! :D

winston: “never seen one another again” ...oh he was talking about that NOT IN MY AU SON

julia: “you do, i do.” omg marriage :o

YAAAS JULSTON KISS!!!!!!! :D

fluffy! ♥

julia: “i love you.” awww :)

winston: “julia. do you think the resistance is real?” julia: “none of it’s real.” STRAWBERRY FIELDS FOREVER!

♥

OMFG THERE WAS AN EXPLOSION :o

work is scrambling like eggs!

poor headache bby! :(

epic B)

winston’s dreaming of his bishy selfish chocolate mom adventure!

the rats were there when his mom and sister were vaporized! :o

she’s in the dress! ♥

they’re talking about betrayal and julia’s like ‘they can’t do that!” OH BOI BUT THEY CAN!!!!

julia: “they can’t get to your heart” aww :)

awkward...

winston sees o’brien WITHOUT JULIA THE F????

this feels like the principal’s office lol :D

o’brien’s voice is so deep and british ♥

the way he clutches the newspeak dictionary is so cute! :D

aww he’s stroking the pages as he reads :)

the oceania anthem sounds russian :o

YAAAAAAAASSSS!!!!!!! :D

so soft ♥♥

winston: “julia, my love.” MY LOVE MY LOVE AHHH!!!! :D

YEES THE COFFEE SMILEEE!!!!! :D

she’s hungry... she wants coffee... who’s gonna tell her coffee isn’t food?

omg i saw winston butt :o

:)

winston: “she’s beautiful.” julia: “she’s a meter around the hips easily” winston: “that’s her standard of beauty.” YAAAS!!! :D

winston: “the future is ours.” YAS

OH CRAP THEY SAID ‘WE ARE THE DEAD’ NOOOO

mr. charington is loud compared to how i thought in the book

his ‘you are the dead’ should’ve been quieter like winston and julia’s then he could be loud!

FBI OPEN UP!!!!!

charrington: “here comes a candle to guide you to bed, here comes a chopper to chop off your head!” OHHHH NICE ONE MR C!!!!!! :D

RIP TO A QUEEN :’(

i should be a bit more heartbroken BUT THAT MR C RHYME MAN

OMFG THEY JUST BEAT UP JULES

SHE’S IN SO MUCH PAIN NOOOO :’(

why does he look old

awww :(

delete the drunk old lady BUT GIVE US PARSONS SUUURE

i dread the scene to come...

parsons didn’t say that he said ‘down with big brother’ so that’s a bummer :/

aww poor parsons he’s crying! :(

oh SNAP room 101!!!! :o

poor parsons but at least that scene wasn’t a thing!

OUCH THAT SMACC LOOKED LIKE IT HURT

is this leading into the bloody mouth scene? I STILL NEED TO KNOW WHAT THAT IS

winston doesn’t know where he is IT’S THE I WANT YOU VALLEY!!!

hold up this is just a vision ok BUT WHERE’S THE BLOODY MOUTH SCENE

frankenstein and spirit halloween called!

also o’brien flipped the switch without warning BISH

o’brien: “you suffer from a defective memory” and you suffer from a BISH MEMORY SIR

remember winston it’s all in the mind... ;)

WHY DID O’BRIEN SHOCK  WINSTON HE SAID FIVE

'how many fingers’ is a trick question because winston sees four YET WE SEE FIVE OHHH

mother gothel vibes...

awww winston’s little scared squeak :(

winston: “i don’t know... i don’t know!” SAY FIVE WINSTON SAY FIVEEEEE

o’brien’s voice is so calming yet it spouts evil words...

julia immediately betrayed winston BECAUSE SHE HAD A ROSEMARY KENNEDY yet she’s somehow still alive without damage by the end???

ooh a new shot! :D

they just faded to black and showed a new angle which is a bit weird...

o’brien: “you’re thinking that my face is old and tired...” because it belongs to poor richard burton!

o’brien just yoinked winston’s tooth out tho :o

mother gothel strikes again!

winston to o’brien: “i love you.” you don’t say that back to jules YET YOU SAY IT TO O’BRIEN BOIIIII

o’brien: “you’re one of us. one of the chosen.” one of us gooble gobble! also ANAKIN IS THAT YOU????

winston just said ‘i love you’ oMG OMG OM WAIT WWAIIITIT

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

seconds after she says ‘i love you too’ SHE’S FREAKING SHOT DAAANG NO PUNCHES PULLED BACK!!!!!

aww he called her ‘my love’ even in a dream

so that was the infamous bloody mouth scene and it was quicker than i thought it would be? at least i have a bright julia smile! ♥

OMG winston’s calling for her yet it sounds so weird WHYYY

he’s much improved!

they’re skyping lol

after all he’s been through he still hates bb! :o

ROOM 101 :o

room 101 is a personalized experience just for you! :D

also IT’S A DREAM MIRROR

omg the rats are GOING AT EACH OTHER GEEZ

winston’s squeak at the rats no!!! :(

‘do it to julia’ sounds a bit selfish but it’s the betrayal we’ve been waiting for!

...NOT

uh oh here comes the awkward reunion...

they should’ve said “...sup.” to each other

the bartender saying “on the house!’ tiredly each time is great :D

winston: “thank you for coming.” julia in her thoughts: “yeah whateves bro.” :/

at least they can still bond over something :)

jules gin time ;)

they ratted out on each other true love???

julia: “we must meet again.” winston: “yes, we must meet again.” ...they never met again

but if they did it would be a bro time!

winston: “i have seduced party members of both sexes” BI NANI???? :o

since his crimes are like the guy’s from earlier... what if he didn’t do them and was convinced that he did? :o

in the book he says i love you to bb, but here he turns away and says it... what if he still loves julia? :o

and with that question, the movie has come to a close! it’s a fantastic little film that closely follows the book. while i would’ve liked to see julia with winston at o’brien’s and the drunk jail lady, the cutting of the gross parsons scene, the addtion of the bloody mouth scene and the possibly hopeful ending make up for it. overall, this is an amazing adaptation of such a great book! :D

[inessencedevided]

The Untamed, episode 14 - watching notes

Little note on the last ep: I love how everyone finds wwx in his inner robe absolutely 🔥🔥🔥 I mean, I agree! but it's just one less layer! It's still covering his entire body! 😂 but still, it's somehow the hottest shit any of us have ever seen :D

So, off to ep 14 *bangs head to opening melody*

He put the headband back on because he fears that lwj is nervous without it 🥺🥺🥺

How can they be so soft with each other???

And lwj's almost-smile :')

Can't write much about the arrow picking except that I honestly love how this scene is shot. The lightening, the music, the sound of them working. It all works brilliantly to build up the tension

Wait? Was that weird lightening that lwj shot into wwx head something to let them communicate by thought? The potential! 😲 My mind immediately went to thought-sharing-smut fix but then I remembered that there might even be hope for that in canon!! 😱 (or at least, some version of canon)

That's vaguely disgusting (The inside of the shell, I mean)

I'm surprised the turtle doesn't notice that there is someone walking around inside her shell

So wait ... what? There is a sword there which traps the turtle. Meaning, someone has been there before and maybe purposefully trapped it there, meaning this whole excursion was completely unnecessary. They could have just left it there and it would never have bothered anyone outside that cave. Then again, Wen chao doesn't strik me as someone to think such things through ...

Quickly, Wei Wuxian! Stab the diary with its tooth! ... wait, wrong fandom

Maybe it's not though ... there's very horcrux-like black goo coming out of the sword 😳

Tf is happening to wwx? He's hurting 🥺

Now he's... not. And he's somehow controlling the black mist and the swords ... I'm confused. Is this where the "demonic cultivation" comes in

Worried lwj is my new favourite thing on this show

Why is there random fighting in the throne room of the wen sect???

Wwx looks mildly traumatised :(

Oh wow ... I'm continuously in awe of the music choices. During this talk, you can hear the main theme (wangxian's theme, I think) in the background. But for the first time, it's played on deep, melancholic cellos. That alone gave me chills! Just, endless kudos to whoever was in charge of the soundtrack for this show!

Apparently, worried lwj is also wwx's favourite thing :')

Seriously wwx!!! He is helping you and NOW you decide to throw the "boring" back at him??

Are these two idiots allergic against genuine, heartfelt moments???

Oh god, no I take it back immediately!!!!

"Can you sing a song for me?" 😭

Hughn ... you don't understand!

There's NO trope I love more than one part of a couple singing to the other (maybe it's because that's how I like to show love. Sorry, tmi)

I'm weak guys ... 😭😭😭

He's doing it .... OMG HE'S DOING IT! and his voice is so nice and deep and ...

Okay ...line break ... I'm actually crying. I legitimately have tears running down my face

I just watched this sequence three times and I couldn't type while I watched because I COULDN'T MISS THIS!

Also I'm crying. It was hard to see anything

Just ...

...

THEY DID THAT

They did a straight up compilation of their love so far

And the song! THE SONG!! THE SONG!!!

I had suspected so before, but it's actually their love theme

And ... hugh ... lan wangji sang it ... for wei Wuxian

Apart from how f*cking meta that is, that's just... the most romantic thing you can do for mesomeone (have I mentioned that I'm weak for this ...)

And and and the compilation ...

They really know how to play a fandom, right? Like, they know

I'm speechless...

Just the fact that they do this and then they have to pretend that nope, this is completely straight, nothing to see here is absolutely bewildering to me

Hugh ... I need to calm down... I'll watch it a third time

The lantern scene was there, tooooooo!!! 😭😭😭

No, no I'm concentrating again

"What's the name of the song?" What's the name??? What is it?

(If you know, please don't tell me! I just ask these questions to get my feelings out, not because I genuinely want to know spoilers ;))

They got out. I'm almost sad. With how things were going, a few hours more in that cave and they probably would have straight up cuddled :D

Jiang Cheng allows himself to show 1, ONE second of genuin concern for his brother, before he starts acting all tough again 🤦‍♀️ *sigh*

Noooo, why did lan wanji leave??? :(

Okay, that's a good reason

Yay! They finally decided to do something about the Wen clan :D

God I love Lotus Cove :)

Again, this reminds me so much of lotr and particularly the elves. The way the camera pulled from a light background to wwx, just waking up in bed after being injured ... the only thing missing was Elrond's head floating above him :D

Woahwoahwoah, hold a second. I had to go back and pause ... is that two men kissing on the bed frame??? Is this the show's way of telling us "yes they kissed, no we couldn't show you. Here, have some heavy-handed subtext so you won't miss it"

It's senior sister :,)

And even Jiang Cheng is caring eith him, bringing him soup ... I have feelings!

And now the whole family is here *sniff*

Okay ... f*ck. I see. Jiang Cheng did so mich, wwx even tries to pull attention to it and their father/uncle still only pays attention to wwx :/

Argh, I forgot that there's still one more member to this family 🤦‍♀️

Oh f*ck her!

Just ... ugh ... that's all I'm saying about that

wwx and jiang Cheng! 😭 - they're both such emotionally constipated idiots (especially jc), but this heart to heart felt so real, you know? Like it could happen between any two brothers in their situation :')

And honestly, it's so tragic. Both of them are definitely NOT at fault for their situation, yet it always hangs over their relationship. I hate it when,in a story, the parents' baggage is transferred to their children, mostly because that's sadly how it goes most of the time

Episode finished... Going back to the song part, so I feel good again :D

These past two episodes where ... hagh ... heaven for my hurt/comfort-loving heart 🥰

And in general, I think, this one was my favourite so far!

@sweetlittlevampire @fandom-glazed @elenirlachlagos @allhailthedramallama @luckymoony (please excuse my typos, btw. I'm sure there are many) 😅

[cloud-of-daisies]

Once i tried to write a fanfiction. It didn’t go well. But i decided to try to write it again. And there we are. I have just finished it. It’s my first fanfic. I’m not a native speaker so it’s very possible that there are mistakes. I hope you will love it.

So, enjoy

----

Undying love

One-short

Fandom: Marvel, MCU, Thor Movies, Thor Ragnarok

Pairing: Loki/Reader, Loki/OFC, Loki/Sigyn

Warnings: Death, Blood, Angst, Fluff.

Words: 2529

Summary: Loki had a wife a long time ago. Now she’s standing right before him. He should be happy but it’s not the best circumstance for the reunion. Because Loki have to save Asgard from Hela.

(I decided to name OFC Sigyn ( Loki’s wife from Norse mythology) cause I didn’t want to use Y/N) Enjoy the story.

Loki PoV

There she is standing, my darling, my love, my beautiful wife. She still looks the same. Only her eyes, once were bright and full of love, now are empty and lifeless. All I want is to hug her, kiss her and tell how much I love her. Oh how I’ve missed my wife. But it can’t be my love. I lost her so many years ago.

One century ago

Third-Person PoV

It was warm, sunny day. Loki and Sigyn were reading in the library. Sigyn’s head was on Loki’s shoulder and her hand was running though his short black hair while Loki was reading the book out loud. He loved when his wife stroked his hair even though he’d never admitted it to her.

Suddenly they heard an explosion and screaming. They immediately run out of the library and were trying to find out what was happening. In the corridor guards were running, people were panicking and trying to find a save place.

They saw Thor running toward them. He was dressed in armor and there was with Mjolnir in his hand.

“Brother, what’s going on?” asked Loki. He took Sigyn’s hand in his and started to rub it.

“Some barbarians have blown up the west and the east wings of the palace. We don’t know how they broke into. Guards are evacuating people. Brother, we need help. There too many of them. Warriors Three and Lady Sif are already dealing with them in the east wing. We are to help in the west wing. ” said Thor.

Loki turned to his wife. The look of terror was on her face. He cupped her face in his hands and said: “Darling, you need to find a save place and hide. It’s too dangerous. I don’t want for you get hurt.”

“Loki, there are children. We need to save them. I’m not to just sit and do nothing.” answered his wife.

Loki sighed. He knew his love was a good warrior and also a powerful magician just like he. They were taught magic together by Frigga. Loki and Sigyn loved to read spell books and learn new tricks when they were children. They were partners in everything and always went on missions together. However Loki was still worried about his wife. He was always very protective of her. He was better to suffer himself than let anything happen to his love.

“All right. But please, stay by my side and be careful.”

Sigyn nodded. They transformed into their armor and run to the west wing.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When they arrived there was chaos. Barbarians were destroying everything and kill everyone that was standing in their way. Their only purpose was to cause death and destruction. The barbarians had been trying to disturb peace in the kingdom for many centuries because they were against Odin’s ruling.

Thor was fighting barbarians with his hammer. Loki was using his daggers and illusions to trick the enemies. There were too many of them. Sigyn was trying to get people to safety.

She saw a child, a little girl, curled up in the corner. A barbarian was heading toward her with his sword ready to kill terrified kid. Sigyn knew she had no time to thing and run toward the child. She embraced the girl protecting her from the barbarian. The sword went through the woman’s stomach. Even her armor wasn’t able to stop the weapon from tearing flesh. She let out a bloody scream and fell to the floor.

Loki immediately turned and saw a sword in her abdomen. His face turned pale. He started to scream “NOOOO” and run toward his injured wife. He brutal killed the barbarian with his dagger, sent him flying through the room and the body hit the wall.

The little girl was crying and a guard came to take the child to her mother.

Loki pressed Sigyn’s body against his chest. The blood was already pouring from the wound and her face was as white as snow. Loki pulled out the sword from her abdomen and stared to use healing spell but the wound was too deep. Sigyn started to shut her eyes.

“No, no, no, my darling, don’t close your beautiful eyes! Look at me. Everything is going to be all right.” Loki’s voice cracked and he started to sob.

“Loki” Sigyn’s voice was weak and she knew she didn’t have much time left. It took her all might to bring her hand to Loki’s cheek. “Hey, my beautiful husband, I will wait for you in Valhalla.” She smiled sadly.

“Don’t say that. You will be okay. We will have a child, a boy or a girl. Or better both. The girl will be as pretty as you; she will have your bright eyes.”

“And the boy will be handsome as you, with black hear and ocean blue eyes?” She started to cough and there was blood coming out her nose and mouth.

“Yes.” His eyes were tearing up. “And the boy will be handsome as me.” He is laughing through his tears.

Sigyn’s breath became swallowed. Her hand was running through Loki’s hair. “I love you, Loki.” A thick tear dropped on Sigyn’s cheek. “I love you too. Please, my love, don’t leave. How is about our ‘happy after’.” He placed a soft kiss on her cold lips.

He begged norns to keep his wife alive. But his prays weren’t heard

Loki felt her hand fell and Sigyn became numb in his arms.

“Darling, no! Open your eyes! Please, I don’t know how I will live without you.” Loki was crying in her chest.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In honor of Sigyn Loki built a little garden with a beautiful statue of his wife. The statue was her perfect image. Her lips, her hair, her eyes, and her skin -they are all something he really loved about her. But She wasn’t there anymore. She wouldn’t be able to stoke his hair. He would give anything to have her again. Loki didn’t know how to exist without his love.

Now

Loki’s PoV

Then I remember that we need to stop Hela and start Ragnarok in order to save asgardians. I need to put the skull of surtur into enteral flame. The only thing that is standing on my way is my wife. I am looking at her with wide eyes still can’t believe my sight. There is a weapon in her hand which is the same as others skeleton soldiers have.

I want to kiss her and hold her tight. I have tears in my eyes. I've spent so many years after her death to find a way to bring her back.

After the loss of my wife I became so cold, distant.

I thought if I had a throne that it would make her proud. In the end it just took me further away from her.

Sigyn’s PoV

Hela have ordered to defense the armory. My only purpose of my existence is to serve her. I am to kill everyone who wants to stop her. And now my task is to kill Dark Prince. He is looking at me with hopeful eyes.

I have strange feelings inside me. Like I know him somehow. I want to hug him, kiss him and never let go. I quickly put those thoughts aside.

We have been standing there too long. I remember my purpose. I must kill him.

And the battle between us begins.

Loki’s PoV

I am still trying to find a trail of my wife in her eyes. On a second I think I see something changes like she is trying to remember me. Unfortunately, if fades next second. Because my wife is dead. I didn’t let Odin burn Sigyn’s body. Because it would mean that she would never come back to me.

Hela must have resurrected Sigyn with her army. I don’t know if she has done it on purpose. I am not even sure that she knew about me and Sigyn. I guess Hela made her tell everything about us. If so then Hela know that I won’t hurt my wife even so she wants to kill me.

She starts attacking me. I am only defending myself. I don’t’ wish to harm her. I am thinking how to bring my darling. I need to find a way to bring her memories back and I think I know how so touch her forehead and I am showing my most precious moments together.

Sigyn’s PoV

He touches my forehead and everything goes black.

My eyes flutters open and I take in the room.

I see two children, a boy and a girl. Both are incredibly young. I look closer and I can’t believe my eyes. They are me and Loki. In the midst of all the adults are dancing and twirling through the night little Prince Loki and little me. Loki was trying to be extremely careful, making sure he didn't step on my feet. He is so cute. A faint blush was creeping over his face.

Then the scene changes. We are standing near lake. Loki is holding my hands in his. I know how deep Loki’s love ran as I see he plucked up the courage to confess it.

“I love you.” Loki whispers, he watches the smile appear on my face before I utters the words he had waited so long to hear.

“I love you too.”

Everything becomes bright. The sunlight is streaking into my eyes. I’m lying in bed.

I squinted and shifted, snuggling further up Loki’s chest to avoid the sunlight. Loki’s arm shifted with me automatically, pulling me close once more.

“This is the best way to wake up every morning,” Loki said, eyes flashing in that way that made my stomach drop pleasantly. I just pulled Loki down for a kiss.

I remember one of the happiest days in my love.

The day he proposed to my when I had started crying at first. He had thought he had done the wrong thing, only for him to realise they were happy tears.

My smile could brighten up any room when we announced their engagement.

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I remember it all. The late nights in front of the fire, sneaking into each other’s chambers, making love in any space available and the many dates I and my Loki went on around Asgard.

The tears start to fall from your eyes. You can’t stop them. I feel hands wiping them out. I open my eye and see blue one looking at me with so much love. I can’t hold myself anymore. I hug him, holding him tight. I kiss his cheek and whisper “Oh, Loki. I love you so much. Please forgive me.”

“Love, I love you even more. You have no idea how I’ve missed you. Everything is ok. We are together. That what is matter.”

“No, Loki” I say.

Loki’s face shows shock, confusion, sadness. “What do you mean No. I can’t lose you again. I’ve just got you back” his voice is trembling.

I take his face in my hands. I don’t want to go. I want to be with him again. It breaks my heart to see tears in his eyes.

“Sigyn, come with me. We will be together again.” Loki pleas.

I gently kiss him and he kiss me back. I wish we could stay like this forever, holding each other and kissing. But we can’t. He need to destroy Asgard in order to defeat Hela.

I brake the kiss and looking his straight in eyes say “Loki, no matter that I wish to be with you again but I can’t because I’m dead. And you know.” and like that I lift the illusion. Now he can see me.

I have pale green skin, most of my flesh is rotten, you can see my bones. There is no heartbeat or warmth inside my body. The look is horrible and disgusting. There is nothing left of a human, everything is dead. I AM dead.

I know that Loki will love me no matter what. He will still look at me with love in his eyes even though I look hideously.

I start stroking his hair. I know he loves it although he has never admitted it.

“My dear husband, you need to save your people. You can’t help me because I’m dead. But you can save them and aid help Thor in defeating Hela.” I said. “Let me go, my love. We will together again when the right time comes.”

Loki’s PoV

“Let me go, my love. We will together again when the right time comes.” My love says. My vision is blurred cause of my tears. How can I? How I let her go after all these years I have been trying to bring her back?

But I know she is right. We will be together again and then nothing will be able to separate us.

I kiss her last time. It is passion kiss full of love. How I miss these feelings. But it has to end. And when I open my eyes she is gone. Again.

After Ragnarok

We did it. We saved asgardians by destroying Asgard. How ironic. But I couldn’t stop thinking about Sigyn. I still felt her lips on me. These memories brought tears.

My daydreaming was interrupted by attack. I knew who it was. It was Thanos. And I knew that most likely I wouldn’t make it to Midgard. I need to protect Thor. After all he is a hero. And by the way I was sure most of midgardians would despite me. Maybe this was my chance to be with my wife again. I wouldn’t lose this opportunity.

And now I am standing here, pledging him my undying fidelity. I know that I won’t be able to kill Mad Titan with this knife. I double that it can even harm him. At least I hope he won’t touch Thor. I am sure he and his stupid friends will find out a way how to stop Thanos.

Thanos is choking me. But the only thing I am thinking is Sigyn and I how I will see her soon.

And everything turns black.

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I open my eyes. Everything is too bright. My eyes have adjusted to light and now I see the most beautiful creature in entire universe. It’s my wife.

I quickly stand up and run to her. I take her in my arms and kiss her.

After that long kiss full of our feelings I put back and look into her eyes. They are so bright, beautiful and full of life. Finely we are together. She smiles at me and says

“Hello, love. Welcome to Valhalla”