#i have thoughts on this but idk how to word and i don’t think i have time
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*·˚ AFTERMATH ft. Aventurine *·˚
words: ~1.6
This is a "continuation" of those First Kiss headcanons I made a couple days back! [Linked in my pinned post]
warnings/info: mentions of drinking, fluff? romance? idk how this works. [AO3 @.evefiction]
English isn't my native language!
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Faint, golden light filtered through the blinds covering the bedroom’s windows, soft rays dancing their way toward your face, leaving a warm, tickling sensation anywhere they touched your skin, gently awakening you from a deep slumber. Instinctively, you moved to scratch your nose, hoping the itchiness would subside as you mourned the few more hours of sleep you could’ve had if it weren’t for the light rays.
As you slowly opened your eyes, your mind took a minute to process its surroundings, the room you found yourself in an unfamiliar space you don’t remember visiting before. The walls had a foreign, bright color to themselves, the decoration somewhat unique – extravagant. You didn’t remember having ever been to a room like this, nor do you believe any of your companions would decorate their room in such a manner.
You tried remembering what happened yesterday night, though only tidbits of memories floated around your head. Not to mention the throbbing headache making its presence known now that you were awake. You cursed under your breath, trying to shift around the bed you were lying in, when sudden pressure against your back and waist made you freeze.
‘’Stop moving around so much,’’ a groggy voice mumbled into your nape, its sound all too familiar, ‘’It’s too soon to wake up again.’’ You took a moment to process your new discovery, slightly tilting your head, only to find Aventurine lying behind you, his arm wrapped around your waist, face nuzzled against your neck.
Your confusion only grew, brows furrowing as you tried to recall more memories while the man tried to fall asleep again. ‘’What are you doing?’’ you inquired, a little lost, ‘’And where even are we? More importantly: Why are you here?’’ You remembered going to a bar with him and, much to your embarrassment, remembered kissing him, but beyond that, your memory was foggy.
A sigh escaped Aventurine’s lips, quietly complaining about being woken up before he spoke, ‘’We’re in my apartment. Yours was too far away, so we agreed you’d stay the night. Nothing else happened. We were both just tired, and I didn’t really want you walking all the way back alone when I know I have enough space here.’’
You just huffed at his response. ‘’That doesn’t explain your proximity,’’ you thought, though you found yourself almost…happy that he didn’t pull away. Careful not to inconvenience him, you turned onto your back, Aventurine’s grip easing the slightest bit at your movement.
Tilting your head, you came face-to-face with the man, his eyes barely open, a smirk on his lips, ‘’Hey, sunshine.’’
‘’Hey yourself,’’ you muttered quietly, nervousness briefly taking over your expression as your gaze roamed over his face, ‘’Slept well?’’
‘’Like a baby,’’ he chuckled, moving his hand to brush strands of hair from your eyes. In the dim light, he looked ethereal, more at peace than you had ever seen the blonde man. ‘’And you?’’ his voice was gentle, fingers lingering on your cheek before he pulled away, leaving a burning sensation where he had just touched you, ‘’I hope this was to your standards.’’
Your mind was racing, telling you that you shouldn’t be here, that you should get up and leave. But, as you held the man’s gaze, losing yourself in the ocean of his eyes, you found yourself hoping this moment wouldn’t end. ‘’Listen, the Express doesn’t really have luxury beds,’’ you amusedly replied, your lips twitching, ‘’Besides, I think drunk me would’ve slept on concrete and been happy with it.’’
‘’I’ll keep that in mind for next time,’’ Aventurine sleepily laughed, ‘’But I think I’d rather have you sleep in an actual bed.’’ As he turned to stare at the ceiling, you found yourself unable to look away from him, a thoughtful expression on your face.
This was…You couldn’t even put it into words. You weren’t really…friends, were you? But here you were now, lying next to each other without a care in the world. You were enjoying it even, missing his touch as he pulled away entirely, struggling to fight back the urge to reach for him. You did not want to interrupt the beautiful serenity of the moment, but you knew you eventually had to.
What were you even going to say? ‘’I’ve been meaning to kiss you for a while now’’? You couldn’t possibly admit that, could you? He was, ultimately, still a member of the IPC, and you were a member of the Astral Express. Even if there was a tiny chance that he reciprocated your feelings, there wasn’t really much you could do, was there? The way of the trailblaze didn’t really offer much room for…well, this. Or maybe you were just self-sabotaging again.
A sigh escaped your lips without realizing it, too lost in your spiraling thoughts to notice. Only when Aventurine called out to you did you return to reality, ‘’Is everything alright?’’
‘’Huh? Oh yeah, yeah,’’ you reassured, waving your hand dismissively, ‘’I was just thinking.’’
This made him shift to the side, facing you again. There was a hint of worry in his expression, hand coming to rest beside yours, barely touching your skin. ‘’Well, penny for your thoughts?’’
You could feel your nervosity growing, knowing that you’ll eventually have to talk about yesterday night, about getting drunk, about…kissing. Well, neither of you seemed particularly bothered by it in the grand scheme of things, but it was a conversation that must be held regardless.
‘’It’s nothing, really,’’ you tried playing it cool, avoiding his gaze as you looked at your hands, ‘’I was just thinking about yesterday night. I guess I didn’t expect it to…well, you know.’’
‘’End up with you in my bed?’’ he teased, though you could notice the hesitance in his words, ‘’Neither did I, if it makes you feel any better.’’ ‘’To be honest,’’ he continued, chuckling to himself, ‘’I wasn’t expecting you to actually kiss me, either.’’
Surprised, you dragged your eyes back up to his face, ‘’You…didn’t? Why not? I thought that’s why you did it in the first place.’’ It never even occurred to you that there might’ve been a different reason behind his choice of wish, besides him wanting to tease you.
Aventurine yawned weakly, slightly turning away again, ‘’Honestly, I guess a part of me did it to see how far you’d go. The other was just selfish.’’ Then he met your gaze again, uncertainty flickering across his expression, ‘’I’ve been hoping for a moment like that for a while. I guess I never had the guts to just…approach and kiss you without an excuse.’’
‘’Why not?’’ The words left your lips before you could stop them, and while you did curse yourself afterward, you didn’t take them back. Expectantly, you stared at him, trying to ignore the butterflies terrorizing your stomach, ‘’I thought you enjoy taking risks?’’
‘’The risk of scaring you off wasn’t something I was…willing to take,’’ he carefully replied, reaching to caress your cheek, ‘’I didn’t want to risk losing you, which is weird to admit ‘cause I’ve never felt like this, but it’s too late to turn back now, isn’t it?’’
His fingers ghosted over your cheek, his eyes not leaving yours as you processed his words. ‘’But asking me while I was drunk seemed like a good idea?’’ you muttered, both confused and amused by his thought process, ‘’Have I ever mentioned how your mind works in fascinating ways?’’
The man just groaned, but you could see the smile form on his lips, ‘’I was feeling confident, okay? Figured I could just…play it off if you decline.’’ ‘’Besides,’’ he interrupted, fully facing you again, ‘’You were the one that actually ended up kissing me. So, you’re not much better than me.’’
‘’I lost the game, big guy. That’s why I kissed you,’’ you argued, chuckling, ‘’No other reason.’’
‘’Sure, sure,’’ he hummed, unconvinced as he leaned closer, ‘’I could tell from how you were kissing me that you only did it for the bet. That’s why you didn’t stop until the IPC called.’’
‘’You’re imagining things,’’ you just replied, unable to keep yourself from smiling, ‘’Wishful thinking, perhaps? Or do I need to be worried that you drank too much? Should I call someone?’’
By now, Aventurine's lips were practically ghosting over yours, just waiting for you to give him a reason to close the gap, "Might I remind you that you weren't drinking any less than me? I'm sure your friends from the Express would love to hear that story."
"Don't you dare," you playfully warned him, nose brushing his, "Unless you want me to text Topaz everything."
"You wouldn't."
"Do you want to find out?"
"...No."
"That's what I thought," you chuckled, smirking, "Now, are you going to kiss me or not?"
Aventurine didn't even wait for you to finish your sentence before pressing his lips against yours, your entire body relaxing under his touch. "You don't have to be anywhere, right?" he whispered, wrapping an arm around you as he pulled you closer.
"Nope," you hummed against him, hands gently cuping his face, "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, anyway."
The man just smiled before kissing you again, all his emotions conveyed in the simple gesture, taking your breath away as you held his face, thanking whatever higher power blessed you with meeting him.
You wanted to laugh, remembering how only minutes ago you had dismissed the possibility of Aventurine feeling the same as you. Yet, here you were now, in his arms as he kissed you like there was no tomorrow.
And as the sun rose higher, you two found yourself not letting go of each other, aware of the long explanation you'd each have to come up with for your friends and superiors.
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Okay so this idea is kind of meh but what about AU frat boy! Dick Grayson who everyone likes but with a reader who’s kind of wary of him like gets put off vibes and discovers to their horror he’s a serial killer? Like maybe catches him in the act? Could be romantic or platonic either or :)
𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐅𝐑𝐀𝐓 𝐁𝐎𝐘 𝐃𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐒𝐎𝐍…
!!! GN reader, egregiously long post, paranoia, mind games, brief mention of suicides, death, blood, dead body, can be translated as romantic or platonic, idk what else needs to be warned.
Frat boy Dick Grayson AU, you will forever be famous in my heart. Why haven’t I written something like this before.
He’s got it all. The charm, the good looks, the surprisingly tasteful humor (considering he’s a part of a frat)… what’s not to like about him? He’s the number one campus heart-throb, with just about anyone throwing themselves at his feet.
Well, everyone except you.
Because there’s just something so off about him. For whatever reason, alarm bells go off in your head whenever he’s near. Some may call it paranoia, some may call it straight-up jealousy. But to you, it’s something much more; enough to make the hairs on the back of your neck when he decides to sit next to you in lectures.
At first, you thought it was due to the envious looks from other students. I mean, the Dick Grayson has decided to sit next to you of all people? That’s bound to start some nasty one-sided shit from people you don’t even know. But no… it’s not the whispers or glares. It’s him. The voice in the back of your head practically screams that it’s him. You just don’t know why.
Again, he’s got it all. Charm, good looks, humor. Maybe what’s so off-putting is that he’s just so friendly. Due to his outgoing personality, it’s no shock to see him hanging around someone new every day, and it’s to the point where you’re convinced he knows everyone on campus by name. Maybe you just need to understand the nature of a social butterfly more. Then he’ll stop being so off-putting. Right?
But, the more you interact with him, the less sure you are. It drives you crazy when he picks you as his lecture buddy because there’s just something so wrong. But what? Is it his casual questions about your hobbies? His friendly, gentle shoulder-grabs when he wants your attention? His relaxed demeanor around someone who should realistically be a total stranger to him, as neither of you share the shame lifestyles outside of classes?
No, you randomly realized one day; it’s none of that.
It’s the fact that his smile never reaches his eyes.
Dick Grayson has beautiful crystal blues; you’ll give him that much. They’re bewitching to look into, and you’ll find yourself captivated by his gaze even if you aren’t big on eye contact. But whoever came up with the saying, “the eyes are the window to the soul” clearly never met Dick Grayson. No matter how warm his smile may be, it’s impossible to know what he’s truly thinking with how guarded his stare is. A damn mystery, with no clues other than the slightest hint of a knowing twinkle every now and then.
You quickly decided that it’s creepy as hell. Why would a guy who acts like an open book have eyes so frosty? Has anyone else noticed this, or are they too busy being charmed by his honey words and pearly whites? Maybe it’s a part of his allure. People drool over the secretive ones, don’t they?
(Upon having that thought, you’d feel a shiver go up your spine. You can hear the echo of Dick Grayson’s voice saying, “you’re a secretive one, (Y/N). I’ll admit, it’s kinda cute” somewhere in your mind.)
(If you recall correctly, it was the day where you began to wonder where exactly he heard your name from.)
But you’ve begun to observe this anomaly named Dick Grayson. You’ve begun to pick up on how he carries himself around other people, and something became immediately apparent. Whatever the deal is with weird, closed-off look he has in his eyes… it’s situational. Strategic, even. While you have yet to pick up on the pattern, some conversations — or people, even — warrant shimmering eyes filled with mirth, while others get that plotting, calculating stare.
And, for whatever reason, everything about you seems to earn the latter.
(Like when you think he doesn’t notice you watching him. A seat ahead of you, he’ll carry on with the cheerleader just fine, his eyes sparkling with whatever emotion he desires. Then, when the conversation lulls, he’ll subtly crane his head behind him the slightest bit, icy eyes darting in your general direction.)
(You might be going crazy, but you swear he smirks a fraction of an inch when your gazes accidentally connect.)
So, yeah. Either you’re reading into things way too much, or this guy’s just not what he seems to be on the surface. And if this is really the game of cat and mouse you think it is, you’re pretty sure he knows you’re on to him. Because why else would he give you a peek behind the curtains of his true intentions? Okay, maybe that’s a little too far, as you’re not sure what his true intentions are, but still… something about how he interacts with you — which seems to be a lot, by the way — just has this subtle taunting undertone to everything. Like he knows you know something and no one will believe you.
God, if only you actually knew what he knows you know. It would make this game of mental fuckery much more palatable.
Something is so off about Dick Grayson. You’re not sure if anyone else feels the same way, but it’s just… true. That jolt of fight or flight you get when he’s looking at you has been there since day one, and it will probably continue to be there for as long as you’re in the same classes as him. And you know what doesn’t help? The strange disappearances happening around campus. Because of course there has to be some sort of side plot happening. It’s not just enough that you have this weirdo friendly frat guy wanting to get all-chummy with everyone. Nope; students and faculty alike seem to be dropping like flies, some of them even found dead after an accident or an unfortunately successful suicide attempt.
So, maybe you consume too much true crime content. Maybe people are right about that shit fucking up your mentality, and now you’re just a paranoid loser who thinks everyone is out to get them. But… I mean… a charismatic guy who’s enchanted pretty much everyone within a ten-mile radius? Come on. Where have you heard that one before. The signs are right there. Why are you the only fucking person seeing them?! Why is no one else suspicious of this weirdo who’s obviously up to something?! Why is no one calling him out on this behavior?!
… Because it’s all in your head. Because you’ve officially lost it, and the only weirdo here is you. Because when a girl started having an allergic reaction, the one who was able to control the situation and save her life was none other than Dick Grayson. Because his tone was so serious, his eyes were so focused, and his hands were so gentle yet methodical as he administered her epipen. Because he went through breathing exercises with her to calm her down, and asked with a genuinely worried expression how she was feeling.
Because Dick Grayson is a nice person who wanted to walk her back to her dorm, and all you are is a judgmental creep who comes up with batshit crazy conspiracies when someone looks at them weird.
Maybe nothing is wrong with him. If there was, why would he look so sincere during that whole thing? Aren’t life or death situations the perfect way to pick up on people’s true natures? Being right there, all you saw was a natural-born leader commanding the room, eyes ablaze with conviction as he ordered you to hand that girl’s back to him so he can dig for the epi. Sure, he might get a strange look in his eyes every now and then, but does that really matter in the grand scheme of things? As long as he’s got his head on his shoulder when needed, a mischievous glance or two never hurt anyone.
That night, you walked back to your dorm feeling like a piece of shit. There was no plotting. There was no game of cat and mouse. The friendly frat boy was always just that; a friendly frat boy. So, now here you are, even going as far as to take the long way back from your 8 pm lecture in order to fully maximize this time to reflect. Maybe you should somehow apologize to him. While you didn’t outwardly do anything wrong, you’ve always had this slight distrusting attitude towards him, and it was about time you change it. Who knows, maybe you’ll be the one to take initiative and sit next to him. Start the conversation yourself, ask him some questions, just generally return the friendliness he’s always shown you.
That’s when the hairs on the back of your neck began to stand.
You stopped dead in your tracks, your foot barely even flat on the beaten path before you. He was near. You knew he was near. That fight or flight instinct has basically been conditioned to sense his presence at this point, and now here it was, screaming at you that he’s near. Whatever thoughts you had to make amends with Dick Grayson were immediately thrown out in favor of that old, reliable fear.
He’s near, but you don’t see him.
No. You hear him.
He’s humming. Somewhere behind the tall, untamed shrubbery next to the path, friendly frat boy Dick Grayson is humming an unfamiliar tune, his soft voice smooth as a stone in a river. However, what would probably sound soothing to a normal person instead fills you with a sense of dread. What the hell is he doing out here?! Close to 10 in the fucking night, singing a little tune like some fucking creep?
Then, you noticed it. The sounds of something heavy scuffing against the dirt. Or, rather, dragging.
Behind the bushes and trees, Dick Grayson is dragging something. At 10 in the night.
What the actual fuck.
Curiosity is a dangerous thing. As much as you sure as hell wanted nothing to do with whatever he’s doing, a dark voice in your brain — which sounded a bit too close to Dick Grayson’s voice — urged you to look. Come on, just a peek. This bastard’s been playing mind games with you all semester, hasn’t he? Don’t you wanna know what his intentions are for sure? I mean, what kind of a frat boy hangs out in the bushes while he could be out partying on a Friday night?
Isn’t this just weird, (Y/N)?
Before you even knew it, your feet were moving on their own. Gentle steps. Avoid the twigs, avoid the leaves. Do not let him hear you. With a feather-light touch, your hand steadied itself against a nearby tree as you used it for cover.
A few long, quiet breaths. Just to calm your nerves.
Then, you slowly craned your head out from behind the tree.
There he was, slightly hunched over with his back facing you. He had a fist full of something, though you couldn’t tell quite what it was due to the night’s shadows. Dark, inky stains caked his sweater, and while the naïve part of your brain wanted to call it mud, the dread in your gut knew better. You craned your head out a bit further to get a better look at the scene.
A body. In front of Dick Grayson’s hunched over form was a body lying face down. His fist was clutching its hair, assumingely dragging it by the head from… wherever. The new angle also gave you the advantage of seeing Dick’s other hand, clutching what looked to be a hammer cover in… definitely not mud.
He was still humming. That bastard was still humming after doing whatever the fuck he did to that poor person. That person… Dick finally stood up straight, lifting the head with him by their hair… that girl. It was the same one who had the allergic reaction. Bloodied and with a dented forehead — god, you were going to be sick — but you knew it was her. She was limp in his grasp, swaying aimlessly as Dick rotated her a bit as though he was admiring his own handiwork.
He killed her.
Dick Grayson killed her.
You didn’t move. Christ, how could you after seeing something so horrific? The alarm bells in your head were much louder than your own heartbeat, screaming for you to run run run run runrunrunRUNRUNRUNRUN—
His head suddenly swiveled towards you.
No more humming as his gaze found yours.
The two of you were locked in a stalemate, staring at each other with such intensity. Those icy blue eyes held no readable emotion, not even a hint of surprise that you caught him in the act. No; he just stared at you, one hand holding a fist-full of hair and the other absently fiddling with his hammer.
A sly smirk slowly broke out on his face.
He knew you were watching the entire time, didn’t he?
Because he is a plotting piece of shit, isn’t he? This has always been a game of cat and mouse to him, and he knew you were on to him since the beginning. That friendly, charming exterior… the disappearances. Goddamnit, you were fucking right.
Something is so off about Dick Grayson.
And no one will believe you.
#❥ CALL INCOMING: DO YOU LIKE SCARY MOVIES?#❥ TW: YANDERE#❥ PLATONIC YANDERE#❥ ROMANTIC YANDERE#❥ YANDERE DICK GRAYSON#❥ YANDERE DICK GRAYSON X READER#❥ GN READER
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a simple favor | stiles x reader
masterlist
pairing: stiles stilinski x f!reader (enemy/witch)
word count: 7,120
warnings: language, banter, minor blood, allusions to sex *gasp* but no smut (sorry!)
summary: despite being self-proclaimed "enemies", you manage to drag stiles to your house for help with a spell...and maybe more.
author's note: hi friends! hope everyone is doing as well as they can be, and hope i can offer up a small distraction. i'm back with another witch!reader x stiles fic but this exists in a universe in which you are a "bad guy" and stiles can't stand you...for now ;) more deets at the end! also please just roll with me on any witch stuff idk if anything is accurate to witch lore, i feel as if with magic the rules are made up anyway so i'm doing what i want :)
“Hi!”
“AH- Jesus, what the hell are you doing here?” Stiles jumps before his face contorted in annoyance.
He was on his way to pick up Scott. For some god forsaken reason his best friend wanted to get a tattoo before they started junior year and Stiles was meant to “supervise”. However, just as Stiles hops into the driver’s seat of his jeep, he’s greeted in the passenger seat by you.
And you may or may not be Stiles’s least favorite person in the world.
“I was waiting for you,” you state, point blankly like it was normal for you to have broken into his car.
Stiles rolls his eyes, “God, do I want to know why?”
“Doubtful,” you sigh, turning in the seat to start putting on the seatbelt, “You should probably start driving.”
Stiles slowly narrows his eyes, “Why?”
“I need your help with a spell.”
“My help? What makes you think I’m going to help you?”
“Because you know I could kill you with the snap of my fingers.” you roll your head in his direction with a pointed look, “Besides, you owe me.”
Oh yeah. Because you saved his life this past spring when Gerard Argent kidnapped him after his lacrosse game.
Stiles inwardly groans. You had a point. He had a feeling though no matter how many favors he paid you, you’d never let that go.
You may have saved his life, but the thing was, to him and his friends you were still the “bad guy”. You were still the same witch that pretended to befriend him and Scott when Scott first became a werewolf, just for them to find out you were playing them to help Peter, who had enlisted your help to regain his strength and heal from the Hale fire. Stiles had barely tolerated you since the day you met, but after that, any ounce of trust and respect he had for you vanished.
From that point on, Stiles decided he hated you. And despite defeating Peter, your presence loomed. For some reason, Derek leaned on you when he was building his pack of betas, giving Stiles more reason to despise you. But shortly after that, out of nowhere, Scott sought your help to try to stop Jackson as the Kanima and figure out who was controlling him. There was a brief moment where Stiles thought you could become an ally but admittedly he fucked that up when Peter came back from the dead and he jumped to the conclusion that you, once again, aided and abetted him. Turns out, in fact, he was wrong, and it was actually Lydia - his hopeless crush for nearly a decade - and he had accused and berated you for nothing. So any shot at you guys finding common ground was dead in the water. And you had decided to be petty and align yourself with the Argents just to piss him off.
He hadn’t seen you since that night. He’d heard off hand from Isaac who’d heard from Derek you were spending the summer on the East Coast, doing some witch training or coven bonding shit with your family.
That was until right now, in the front seat of his jeep.
“Scott is waiting for me.” Stiles finally responds; a half-hearted attempt to get you to go away.
You make a face, “Scott can go one night without being codependent.”
Stiles rolls his eyes, but he finds himself starting the engine. “Where are we going?”
“My house.”
“You’re taking me to your lair?”
“Ha ha.”
“I don’t even know where you live.”
“I’ll give you directions as we go. It's just right on the outskirts of the preserve.”
“You live in the woods?”
“Just drive.”
Stiles should question how quickly he concedes but there is in fact the possibility of you hexing him or something. Which you’ve yet to do in any serious or fatal way. But another part of him is admittedly curious; to know what exactly you want, to see how you actually live.
From the little information he’s learned about you the past year, he knows you live with your aunt and were home schooled up until recently when you enrolled in Beacon Hills High during the winter semester. But other than that, you were just the mysterious witch he hardly knew anything about. Aside from knowing you were a pain in his ass and someone he’s hesitant to trust.
But he thinks he can survive one evening with you.
The drive is quiet with just you providing simple directions. At one point he tries to make a feeble attempt at small talk, but you instantly lunge forward to turn on the radio.
You turn to look at him in disbelief when the channel that’s on is the police scanner he rigged up. He shrugs sheepishly before you shake your head and turn the dial to some indie station.
Stiles puckers his lips and nods as soft music fills the car. “Arctic Monkeys, nice-”
“Turn left at the stop sign.”
“Right.”
You turn to him with an amused look. “You don’t know how to act when we’re not at each other’s throats.”
Stiles scoffs, “Can you blame me? I barely think of you as a real person half the time, I don’t know what to say to you.”
You chuckle as you stare out the window, “Well we’re almost there.”
“What kind of spell do you need my help with anyway? And why me?”
“Because you’re a human.”
“Okay…?”
“And I need your blood.”
“Oh great.”
“It’s a spell to make a protection amulet. So I can wear it and not be found by other witches.”
“And why do you need that?”
“Now that is none of your business.” You sigh, unbuckling your seatbelt, “And we’re here.”
Stiles observes the road they’re coming to the end of. Your house is indeed at the edge of the woods: a modest victorian-gothic style home hidden by trees.
“I didn’t even know there were houses out here.”
“Not many,” you reply as the two of you hop out of the jeep.
Stiles glances between you and his phone as you lead him to the front door, also texting Scott that he’ll need a raincheck on the tattoo adventure and he’ll explain later.
“Is your aunt home?”
“Nope, she’ll be gone until late.” You answer, unlocking the door for you both to enter.
Stiles takes in what he can from the foyer. He can’t get a full view of the space but he can definitely tell witches live here. The living room is lined with wooden bookshelves and candles and trinkets. He doesn’t have much time to observe when he watches you head for the staircase.
“Um, where are we going exactly?”
“My room,” You call without turning around.
“Woah,” Stiles huffs nervously, “We’re doing this in your bedroom?”
“Don’t get too excited Stilinski, you’re here for business not pleasure.”
Stiles is grateful you still haven’t bothered turning around to look at him, because he feels his face heat up as he finally follows you up the stairs.
No surprise, your room also fits right in with the aesthetic of the house. Moody colors, wooden bed posts, and candles on every surface. He watches you flick your wrist and every candle lights up, casting a warm glow around the room. It's the first time he’s thought your powers were cool, but he’d never admit that out loud.
“Is this the lair you were expecting?” you ask, turning around to face him while standing in front of your desk, which is littered with books, potion bottles, and a large pot.
Stiles shrugs, “It’s a little underwhelming.”
“Were you expecting me to live in an underground dungeon?”
“Something like that.”
You hum and turn back to face your desk, taking stock of the potion ingredients on hand.
Stiles wanders over to stand beside you, his hands in his pockets. “So explain to me what you mean by needing my blood.”
You pick up a necklace from your desk: a silver chain with an empty vial hanging on it. “I’m essentially making a potion to put in here. And if I wear it, it will make it harder for witches searching for me to track me or my magic. And human blood is on the recipe.”
“But why me?”
“I told you, because you’re human. Not a werewolf or a witch; a human. And humans have the purest form of blood. It's basically the secret ingredient.”
Stiles rolls his eyes at your nonchalance. “Okay I get that I guess, but why me? Couldn’t you have found some other schmuck to help you? Or have you scared off every other person in Beacon Hills with your shining personality.”
You turn to Stiles with a tight smirk, “As you may know, not many people are even aware that the supernatural is real. I know you do, and unfortunately you’re my best option. Allison is still in France from what I’ve gathered, Lydia is something but I haven’t quite figured that out yet, and using my aunt would require me having to explain what I’m doing and why. So you’re it buddy.”
“Oh so I’m literally your last choice. Boy am I honored.”
“You should be.”
“Wait, do you mean your aunt isn’t a witch like you?”
“Nope,” you shake your head, focusing back on the bottles on your desk, starting to add ingredients to the pot. “She’s not even technically my aunt. She was a family friend that took me in when I was young.”
“Why? What happened to your parents?”
You swallow, “You’re nosy.”
“Fine don’t tell me, but I think it's fair I get a little information since I’m the one helping you.”
“You’re the one who owes me, remember?”
“Yeah but it sounds like you can’t complete this spell without me and it seems pretty important so…thinking that gives me some leverage.”
You glance over at him with a glare and Stiles shoots you an innocent smile that makes you want to wipe it off his face.
You let out a deep breath, “My parents fled to god knows where when I was five. Apparently, my family has a centuries long feud with another coven and they’d evaded them for years until then. They decided leaving me with Jules was better for my safety. So I’ve been in Beacon Hills ever since. I actually didn’t know most of that until this summer. I sort of…had a run in with a member of that coven without realizing and now I’m afraid they’re going to find me here. Hence the protection amulet we’re making. Is that enough background information for you?”
Stiles raises his eyebrows as he absorbs everything. “Wow that’s…heavy. There’s some witch coven out there that's been trying to kill your family for centuries. No wonder you’re the way that you are.”
I let out an unamused huff as I add the last of the pre-prepared ingredients.
“Wait, is that unicorn dust- are unicorns real?”
I smirk as I pour it in, “Like I’d give away that information to you for free.”
I bite back a laugh as Stiles mutters dammit.
Turning back to him, I hold up a tiny needle. “Your turn.”
Stiles’ eyes widen briefly, holding up his hands as he steps back from you, “Woah, woah, be careful with that thing.”
You scoff, “Stiles, it's a sewing needle.”
“Well, I still haven’t completely agreed to this. How do I know you’re not tricking me into draining all of my blood?”
You roll your eyes, “Stiles I just need one drop. And then you’re free to go off on your date with Scott.”
Stiles rolls his eyes this time.
I try to fix him with a genuine look for the first time in the months we’ve known each other. “Come on. Haven’t I made it clear enough that this is important to me? I seriously would not have brought you here if it wasn’t. Don’t make me beg.”
“I’d kind of like to see-”
“Reminder, I can kill you.”
“Alright,” he groans, “Let’s just get this over with. Did I mention I hate needles?”
“Aw poor baby’s scared of a tiny needle,” you fake pout.
“Oh my god shut up, like you’re not afraid of anything.”
“Yeah, I’m afraid of admitting something embarrassing like that.”
“Okay, just stab me already.”
You chuckle and take another step closer to him, holding out your left hand. Stiles takes a deep breath and apprehensively places his hand upwards into yours, and you gently hold the tip of his pointer finger. Stiles glances around the room, wanting to look anywhere but you pricking him with the needle, as minor as it is.
“Jesus, I can feel your pulse, you need to calm down.” you comment.
“Sorry that I’m a generally anxious person.”
“Yeah I gathered that over the last year from the fact that you literally never stop talking,” you snicker, “Have you always been like this?”
“As long as I can remember.”
“And it doesn’t drive Scott crazy?”
“Well, I think Scott, like most sane people, finds it endearing.”
“Oh. Does Lydia find your constant yammering endearing?”
“Woah, okay, there’s no need to bring her into this,” Stiles sighs rubbing his head, “Can you just prick me?”
“I already did,” I reply, making Stiles whip his head back, staring at his finger between yours, and sure enough, a red drop of blood was already forming.
“When did you…” Stiles whispers.
I shrug, dropping the needle into a bin beside my desk. “I kept you distracted.”
Stiles watches you quietly, his lips slightly parted in disbelief, while you guide his hand over the pot and gently squeeze his finger so three drops of his blood fall into the potion with a hiss. Stiles grimaces at the pressure but it's not as bad as he thought. He’s trying to get over the fact that you tried to make this a little less painful for him by pricking him with the needle while he wasn’t thinking about it. It was surprisingly…thoughtful?
“There, the final touch,” you murmur. You turn back to face him, his hand still in yours.
“Great. Do you happen to have a bandaid for the patient?” He asks.
“No need,” I reply, grabbing a small piece of gauze from the table and placing it over his finger to stop the blood.
Stiles once again watches you carefully. As you apply the pressure to his finger, he takes note of the way you bite your lip while you concentrate. After a few more quiet moments, you toss the piece of gauze away and gently press your thumb into his pointer finger and close your eyes, murmuring something under your breath. Once you open your eyes, you look back down at his finger and suddenly there is no puncture wound.
“There, good as new.”
You finally look back up at him - his face closer to yours than you remember - and he’s still staring at you silently.
“What? Were you expecting me to kiss it better?”
Stiles shakes his head, snapping out of his stupor. “Wha- no! No. Just…not used to you using your powers for good.”
I shake my head and finally release his hand, turning back to the pot and start mixing it all together.
Stiles clears his throat and glances over your shoulder. “So what now? You mix everything together in the pot and boom, you’re good to go?”
“Cauldron,” you correct, “And I also have to pour it into the vial and cast an incantation to activate it.”
Stiles nods, genuinely intrigued by the process. He watches you quietly mix everything for another minute or so, before you reach for the tiny vial, and then you basically ladle an ounce of it into the small tube.”
“Wow, that’s a lot of potion you’re not using. Do witches care about waste?”
I fix Stiles with a hard look and he holds up his hands in surrender. He continues watching you close your hand around the vial tightly and hold it to your chest, once again quietly reciting an incantation. Stiles is almost certain the words you are saying are in Latin, and again, he’d never admit it to anyone, but he was kind of impressed.
When you are finished, you open your hand and look down to study the vial. From over your shoulder, Stiles sees the vial now has a slight green glow to it.
“Assuming it worked?” Stiles comments.
You shrug, “I guess the only way to truly find out if it didn’t is if one of those witches show up here.”
Stiles nods and then proceeds to stand there and watch you struggle to get the chain clasped around your neck.
He snorts, “What, is there no spell to put on a necklace?”
You roll your eyes, “Shut up.”
He can’t help but chuckle as he stands up straighter. “Look, do you- I mean, would you want…I could..”
You groan, tired of listening to him ramble, “What?”
“I could help you, you know!” Stiles exclaims in annoyance. “God I don’t even know why I offer.”
You frown, too stubborn to stop trying but also too frustrated to keep going. Sighing, you remove your hands from around your neck and forcefully place it in his hands, “It's one of those stupid, teeny tiny clasps that aren’t meant for human sized fingers.”
Stiles chuckles as he takes each end of the necklace into his hands, while you turn around and move your hair out of the way. “Are you saying you know of non-human fingers that handle necklaces because if so I’m crossing my fingers for a tiny mouse because that would be adorable.”
You bite back a smile, thankful you’re not facing him, “Shut up.”
Stiles keeps chuckling to himself as he brings the necklace around your neck, and carefully works to clasp it. He definitely also doesn’t use the time to inhale your scent and start to wonder if you use some kind of fragrance or if witches have a naturally alluring smell.
As you impatiently hold your hair and try not to think about the cramp forming in your arm, you also definitely aren’t thinking about the feeling of his warm breath on the back of your neck and praying he doesn’t see any goosebumps form on your skin.
“There,” Stiles whispers unintentionally soft, making him clear his throat in surprise, taking a steep step back, “All done.”
You let out a quiet sigh of relief, dropping your hair and turning around. “Thanks. For the assist and the blood donation.”
Stiles snorts with a nod, “Yeah.”
I look down at the amulet I created and gently hold it in my hands, “Seriously though. You know I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important. So…thank you.”
Stiles swallows and nods firmly, a little unsettled by the sincerity of the last few minutes, “...You’re welcome.”
You nod as well, unsure of where to go from here. “Well, I guess now your services are no longer needed and you are free to go, and we are free to proceed with business as usual; only speaking when we see each other against our will.”
Stiles huffs, crossing his arms, “What if I want to stay a little longer?”
You raise your eyebrows, “Why?”
“I have a few more questions.”
“Haven’t I told you enough?”
“I think I’m entitled to some more information,” Before you retort, he barrels on, “Look if some evil coven could potentially be invading Beacon Hills - ideally not since that spell should prevent that from happening, so you say - I think I have the right to know more about what's going on so I can be prepared for it.”
“And how exactly will you, Stiles Stilinski, prepare for that?”
“By…telling Scott…”
You snort and nod. Well fair enough I guess. “What else do you want to know?”
“How dangerous are we talking? Like, how badly do these people want you dead?”
You shrug, “I’ve only heard stories about how the feud originated. Supposedly, my family at some point in time, did something to steal powers from this other family.”
“Well it sounds like you guys are the bad guys in this scenario. Which tracks knowing you.”
“Well I’m pretty sure they did it in retaliation to them killing someone in my family in cold blood.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh. So this thing goes back generations but I’m pretty sure something must have happened between my mom and this woman from that coven. I don’t know what, but she in particular has a vendetta against her and our family.”
“Is she the witch you had a run in with this summer?”
“No,” you frown looking down, “It was her son.”
Stiles’s eyebrows raise, “Oh. And did he immediately try to kill you with some spell at first sight?”
I shake my head, “Nope. He just…pretended to be someone else to gain my trust and subsequently asked me out just for me to find out none of it was real and he was trying to get to my magic the whole time.”
Stiles widens his eyes with each new piece of information, his stomach dropping as he learns that this guy used and manipulated you. Yeah you definitely weren’t the bad guy in this scenario.
“So, fun summer for me. How was yours?” You ask looking back up at him with a blank look on your face.
Stiles ignores your attempt to diffuse the conversation. “So you were seeing this guy all summer thinking he was some innocent…fling…and the whole time he was actually plotting to, what, kill you? Take your powers?”
“Something like that,” You shrug, “I didn’t stick around long enough to find out the end game with that one.”
“How did he even track you down in the first place if you’ve been hiding away here your whole life.”
“Apparently they’ve been biding time in Salem, hoping one day I’d find my way there to train with other witches. And I didn’t even know there were people to look out for until a few days ago, when I was talking to another witch I had met, who recognized his mom in a picture. I left on the spot and haven’t seen him since.”
“Did you tell him where you were from?”
“Nope, was trying to go for the whole, casual, mysterious summer fling thing.” you chuckle humorlessly. “That worked out so well for me.”
Stiles sighs, “So he has no idea where to look for you, and that amulet should keep him from getting any hints.”
“Yup.”
“And after all this…your parents are still out there hiding from them, too?”
You nod, looking down again, “Yeah…sometimes I wonder if they’re even still alive.”
Stiles frowns, “Jesus…now I’m almost sorry for…”
“No, no,” You shake your head, your face twisting in discomfort. “Don’t do that. This isn't what we do. You don’t feel sorry for me. You despise me. And honestly I prefer that version of us, I can’t stand the thought of you sympathizing with me.”
“Okay, okay,” Stiles holds his hands up, “I get it. You know maybe I’m not sorry, because a fucked up childhood doesn’t excuse the shit you did to us last year with Peter, and the generally annoying shit you’ve done since.”
You make a face but don’t argue with him.
Stiles continues staring you down, with an unfamiliar look on his face. “But…that shit that guy pulled on you this summer…even you don’t deserve to be taken advantage of like that.”
Your eyes slowly revert back to looking at his face, trying not to give away how vulnerable you felt sharing that information; not to mention how vulnerable you were this summer just to have that blow up in your face. You shift slightly, still uncomfortable with the atmosphere surrounding you two right now. You cross your arms tightly across your chest.
“Thanks…”
The two of you let the moment hang in the air for another few seconds before you clear your throat, not being able to stand the sincerity any longer.
“Well I guess next time I try to have a casual fling, I shouldn’t do it with a stranger I knew for all of a day before going out with him.”
Stiles chuckles dryly, “Guess not. Maybe you’d be better off getting to know a guy for a while first. If you can keep one around long enough without driving them up the wall.”
“Ha ha. Because you’re the picture of a guy with a successful love life. Remind me of the last time Lydia gave you a second look?”
Stiles glares at you, as he starts to sputter, “She…was looking at me when I was playing in that lacrosse game.”
“Oh so over three months ago? Wow you’re making huge strides.”
“Look, I’m playing the long game alright?”
I shake my head, “God, I don’t know why you even bother.”
Stiles' jaw teeters open and closed, “What? Is it that out of the realm of possibility that she could ever like me?”
“No, I just meant you could do better.”
Stiles stutters but no words immediately form in response to that. He stares at you blankly for a few beats. “I can do better? Me? Can do better than Lydia Martin?”
You roll your eyes, “You say that like she’s God's gift to this Earth.”
“Yeah, well…she’s still nice - sometimes - and highly intelligent, not to mention gorgeous.”
“Stiles, I’m not trying to disparage your precious Lydia, I just think you could do better than someone who doesn’t give you the time of day.”
“What…What do you mean?”
“Well for one it's kind of pathetic you’ve been hung up on her for so long with no reciprocation whatsoever.”
“Okay, I wouldn’t say-”
“And second, I don’t understand why a guy like you can’t find a girl who actually likes him back.”
“Well you say that like I’ve got a parade of girls waiting in line to date me.”
You shrug, “Trust me, there are some.”
Stiles scoffs, “Yeah right.”
“I think you're underestimating how many girls just want a sweet guy who will treat them well with a moderately nice face.”
Stiles shifts awkwardly, “Is that your type?”
“My tastes are a little more refined than that.”
“Well how do you know most girls see me that way?”
“Because objectively speaking, you do have a moderately nice face. Maybe even a step above that. And look at you, you grew your hair out this summer. Do that to impress Lydia?”
Stiles flushes, “Well not just…”
“Because I’m sure it will work on plenty of other girls when they see you at school next week.”
Stiles lets out a deep breath, looking at you curiously, “Why are you saying all this?”
You uncross your arms and sigh, taking a step towards him, “Look I’m just stating facts, and maybe I can spare you a compliment since you helped me out tonight. You deserve better than waiting for someone who may never come around. And maybe, who knows, I’m wrong and one day Lydia will come to her senses and see what's right there in front of her. But don’t waste all your time doing nothing. You could at least have fun in the meantime. And I’m sure there are plenty of girls who would jump at the chance.”
You give Stiles’ shoulder what should be a supportive squeeze, but because it's the two of you it feels wrong. You awkwardly lift your hand and pat him a couple times before retracting your arm all together.
Stiles stares at you, once again in awe, confused why you’re being so civil with him…let alone…kind? His eyes hone in on the way your nose scrunches up when you instantly regret touching his shoulder, and the way your lip curves up in amusement as you look back up at him. Your eyes have a warm glow amidst the candles lighting up your room. And he’s once again in close enough proximity to you to inhale your scent; a mix of vanilla, berries, and amber.
Yeah it definitely must be a witch thing, because he somehow finds himself being drawn closer to you. And before he knows it, he’s leaning completely in and kissing you.
It's a rare occurrence for you to be taken by surprise, but you do jump slightly when his lips touch yours. He did it so fast you didn’t even have a chance to process it, let alone prevent it from happening. You don’t immediately kiss back but you don’t immediately pull away either, chalking it up to the shock.
Stiles very quickly realizes what he’s doing and the fact that you’re not reciprocating as he pulls away slightly to take in your full reaction.
You narrow your eyes at him slightly, “I didn’t mean me.”
Stiles’ eyes widen and his lips part, once again struggling to form words as he starts to pull back.
For some reason you’ll probably never understand, you instinctively reach out to hold his arms to keep him in place. He looks at your hands and then back to your face curiously.
You quietly breathe out, “I also didn’t say to stop.”
Stiles breath hitches, his lips curving up just slightly before he dives towards your lips again.
This time you instantly kiss back, pulling him closer by cupping either side of his face, as his arms come to snake around your waist.
As the kiss becomes more intense, Stiles reluctantly pulls away for oxygen.
“We shouldn’t be doing this,” he murmurs breathlessly, pressing his forehead against yours.
“You started it,” you muse, chasing after his lips.
He laughs softly, letting you kiss him deeply another few minutes before he gently caresses your face, pulling away.
“And I don’t hate what we’re doing but it's also very out of character. For both of us.”
“To make out with a hot person?”
“No,” Stiles sighs, but can’t fight the blood rushing to his cheeks, “I mean making out with each other. Honestly, this whole night has been out of character. We normally can’t stomach being in each other’s vicinity for more than five minutes.”
“Well if you haven’t noticed, this activity doesn’t require a whole lot of talking so I’m finding it easier to tolerate you.”
You watch Stiles roll his eyes, trying to rationalize what’s happening between you two. So you take a deep breath.
“Look, we’re not going to suddenly stop despising each other but there’s nothing wrong with two consenting people having a little fun. And you know…probably never speaking about it again.”
Stiles shifts the weight between his feet, becoming overwhelmed by the situation and the possibilities of where it could go; possibilities that both scare and excite him. And he can’t figure out what emotion is winning out.
“This probably won’t come as a shock to you,” Stiles speaks up again quietly, not meeting your eyes, “But I’ve never really…been with a girl…like this.”
The corner of your lips curl up. It wasn’t new information, but there was something about seeing this boy who usually goes toe to toe in insults with you be so open and honest with you.
You place your hands over his where they still rest on either side of your face. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. We can go as far as you want. Or we can stop now and pretend like this never happened. You are more than welcome to go.”
“I don’t think I want to go,” Stiles whispers hoarsely.
“Then don’t go,” You whisper back, leaning closer again.
“You’d really want to do this too?”
“Yes-”
“Because I know why I want to but why do you want to? After the guy you were with this summer I would have thought you’d be more…selective.”
“Oh that's exactly what I’m doing.”
“And you want to be with me? Why?”
“Because unlike the last guy, I know what I’m getting with you Stiles,” You state simply, “You’re a good guy. This has no chance of going anywhere. Absolutely no feelings whatsoever to get in the way. It’s perfect.”
Stiles stares at you, taking in your expression for any sign of uneasiness or lies. But he can tell you’re dead serious. His skin starts to burn in anticipation.
“So we’re doing this,” He says softly, somewhere between a question or a statement.
“I’m in if you’re in.”
“We do this once and we never talk about it again.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
“And no one, and I mean no one finds out about this. I mean it, you can’t tell anyone.”
You scoff, “Trust me, I plan to take this to the grave. You should be more concerned with yourself. I can’t see you going five minutes without squealing to Scott that you’ve finally seen a girl naked.”
Stiles closes his eyes and groans, praying you can’t see him blush again. He also can’t even process the fact that he is indeed about to see a girl naked.
After a moment, Stiles finally says, “I don’t have to tell Scott everything.”
“Okay, if you really believe that.” He rolls his eyes, making you chuckle. “So are you game, Stilinski?”
Stiles’ eyes flit across your face, before settling back on your lips. “Fuck it.”
He kisses you deeply and the two of you tug at each other like your bodies are never close enough. Your hands wander over his body until they end up at the buttons of his flannel, and you haphazardly start to undo them before he pulls away briefly to help you get it off of him. He shivers as your cold fingertips trace the contours of his chest and stomach, but he doesn’t get a chance to linger on the feeling as you kiss him again. He takes his turn to pull off your jacket, before sliding his fingers under the hem of your shirt, which you help him maneuver over your head. You once again only let him have a few seconds to take in your exposed skin, only your bra separating you two from complete skin to skin contact, before you’re pulling him back to you again.
“Do you have…” you mutter against his skin as you start to kiss down his jaw and neck, “Protection?”
Stiles’ stomach twists with nerves and excitement as he nods. “Yeah, I have a condom in my wallet.”
You smile against his skin, trailing down to his collarbone, “Been hoping one day Lydia would want to jump your bones?”
Stiles groans, tangling his fingers into your hair, “God, shut up.”
You chuckle darkly before gently pushing against his chest so you can move onto your bed.
Time passes in a hazy blur as you and Stiles finish undressing each other between sloppy and heated kisses. You try to go at a moderate pace with him, despite your own eagerness. To your pleasant surprise, Stiles is a quick learner as you talk him through how to touch you and make you feel good. And he makes you feel very good. And despite his own timidness and learning curve, he is very attentive to your needs as well as your comfort levels, constantly checking in and making sure you’re okay.
You’re more than okay by the time you’re done, the two of you collapsing back onto the bed, sweaty and panting.
“Holy shit,” he breathes out staring at the ceiling.
You smirk, pulling the sheet up to cover yourself, “Yup.”
You lay in silence for a few moments as you catch your breaths before Stiles speaks again.
“I hope tonight makes us even, because I think that counts as two additional favors,” He says teasingly, but when you don’t immediately respond, his head turns to you quickly, “You finished both times right?”
You chuckle softly and nod, turning your head towards him as well, “I did.”
“Good,” he sighs in relief, “I did, too.”
“I know you did.”
Stiles rolls his eyes but laughs softly, “Right.”
“And I’d say I was the one doing the favor,” You muse, “Now the next time you find a girl willing to sleep with you, you’ve got some tricks up your sleeve.”
He huffs with a nod, “I guess you’re right.” Another few moments of silence pass between you when Stiles looks at you again, and asks softly, “But seriously, it was good for you?”
You roll your eyes, “Yes.”
“Like, you’re not just saying that to make me feel better?”
“When have I ever worried about preserving your feelings? Trust me, if it was bad or you were doing something wrong I would have told you.”
“Yeah I guess that’s true,” he sighs. Another beat. “But like on a scale of one to ten?”
“Stiles!”
“I know, I know.” he regresses. “Can I ask for real though - and full permission to punch me if this is insensitive - but compared to the last guy…was I better?”
He watches you stare at him blankly for a few seconds before he starts to back pedal. “Probably not right? He was probably way more experienced even if he..”
“This was better.”
He turns to you again in surprise.
“You were better.”
Stiles stutters, “R-really?”
You nod, “You’re not an asshole who only thinks about himself. Don’t ever lose that quality.”
Stiles smiles softly, his cheeks warming up again.
“Seriously, it was good. Great even,” You continue, “If that’s what you’re like with me, I can’t imagine how good it would be with a girl you actually like.”
That last statement was like a bucket of cold water splashing over him. Right. You guys hated each other. And you were still the same girl who made his life inexplicably harder this year. But those things were easy to forget while he stared at you, your messy hair splayed across your pillow, your bare skin lit by the soft glow of the candles in your room, with a few noticeable marks across your collarbone that he was responsible for.
But this would be the first and last time this ever happened. And he will probably have complicated feelings about it for the foreseeable future, knowing the memory of his first time will always connect him to you. But he surprisingly feels less guilty than he would have thought.
“I should probably go,” He whispers after another few seconds of taking her and the moment in. Part of him wishes he didn’t have to leave at all and continue living in this bubble of false reality and denial. But he thinks his brain takes over in an act of self preservation to get out of there before he gets in too deep.
“Yeah, you probably should,” You whisper back, taking a deep breath.
He watches you sit up, dragging the sheet covering you up with you. He sucks in a breath as you grab a dark purple robe off of your bedpost and slip it on, covering the rest of your body and taking the image away from him. With that, he also forces himself up, locating his boxers and jeans on the floor and pulling them on.
You circle your bed as he starts to pull on his flannel again. He feels nervous under your gaze, and about how to act right now, making him fumble with the buttons. Without a word, you reach out and slowly and quietly help him finish buttoning it. He takes this one last opportunity to watch your face at this level of proximity, knowing he’ll probably never have the chance to do that again.
As you finish the top button, you look up at his gaze still laser focused on you, and for some reason he doesn’t feel compelled to look away.
“Thank you for tonight,” You say softly with a small smirk playing at your lips, “Thought I just needed a protection spell after the summer I had, but I guess I needed that as well.”
Stiles feels himself smirk too, “Happy to be of service to both.”
You slide your hands across his chest, smoothing out his shirt before taking a deep breath and step back.
“So, business as usual? I’m sure we’ll run into each other again once Scott gets himself into some more supernatural shit, and we’ll be back at each other’s throats in no time.”
Stiles chuckles, “I look forward to it.”
You give him your version of a tiny genuine smile. “Do you need me to walk you out?”
He shakes his head, “I’m sure I can find my way.”
You nod, also taking in his appearance under the glow of the candles while you can. You decide to take the opportunity to close the distance between the two of you and kissing him chastely one last time.
Stiles closes his eyes and reciprocates automatically, but the kiss is over before its even begun. He watches you pull away from him, unable to tear his eyes away from yours.
“Goodnight, Stiles,” you whisper before stepping away and walking around him towards your desk again to clean up.
With his back towards you now, he smiles to himself, huffing in disbelief at the night he’s had.
“Goodnight,” He says back softly as he takes steps towards your door. He glances back at you one last time, before leaving and finding his way back downstairs and out your front door.
Once he shut the door after sliding into the driver's seat, he lets out a long deep breath and rubs his face. Losing his virginity to his self-proclaimed mortal enemy was not on his bingo card for the night - or ever. But the more he sits with it, the more he’s weirdly pleased that it happened. Honestly, it was like best case scenario. Figuring out sex with someone he’s not trying to impress - well, to a certain degree - took some of the pressure off. And now he doesn't have to think about it anymore. Unfortunately, it was really good. Extremely good. Too good to just have been a one time thing, and part of him is disappointed there’s no chance of ever experiencing it again.
It was for the best. The moment hell freezes over is when he’d have actual feelings past irritation and mild rage when it came to you. So he shakes his head, putting their night together behind him as he pulls out of your driveway.
Still in your bedroom, you lean against the wall watching him drive away from the window. You smile to yourself, having a sneaking feeling this wouldn’t be the last time the two of you do this. Stiles just didn’t know it yet.
author's note: dying to know what people think of this, not the type of stuff i usually write. firstly, sorry for the lack of steam, i've never written smut and not sure i ever will but hope it alluded to enough for yall. also again, took my witch idea and flipped it into an alternate universe where the reader is a lil evil. there are elements of the other pieces i'm writing that assumes similar lore/backstory for the witch, but in this version, you don't grow up as stiles & scott's bff, you're isolated leading to some villianous tendancies. i also know i hinted at a lot of back story with some pieces from seasons 1-2, with this ultimately taking place right before season 3. so i have some ideas of writing other parts that dive into some of those moments, plus more parts that come after this of course. so let me know what kind of stuff you're interested in seeing from evil!witch x stiles (evil being used pretty loosely) THANK YOU FOR READING!
#stiles stilinski fanfiction#stiles stilinski fanfic#stiles stilinski imagine#stiles stilinski x reader#stiles x witch!reader#cursed from the start#mine#my writing#teen wolf imagine#teen wolf fanfiction#teen wolf fanfic
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Wine is waaaay to worse than i imagined😭😭😭. I will blame all the fic that i read about him and make like he was a nice guy. The fact that i will immediatly shoot the other au without question if he meet them is insane. And the way he always want more power and he will always try to manipulate the king . Also poor coffee😓.
Anon, I’m using your ask to ramble about Wine. And it’s too long…. So i think i will put the rest under the cut. After the pic.
I haven’t read much of fics that have Wine in it. But with so little information about him, the way it scattered around and languages barrier. I understand that ppl may have different view of him, also is the setting of the fic. If it’s on the surface, i guess he could be better???
But there’s a thing about FSG(Fellswap-Gold) being set in communist theme , Wine being the head of the royal guard, AKA he the head government. Idk about you guys, but for me. Any head government of a dictatorship system could never be a nice guy. NEVER. IT’S UNACCEPTABLE.
Though, you guys can have fun, just don’t forget it exists in real world. And even thought it’s not real. Propaganda exists, so is the media effects.
I summarized some of the timeline in the second pic (The art is based from the creator)
I hate Wine so much, but here i am defending him(?) nope just explaining my insight. (i still haven’t read the setting with proper translation , so this is my headcanon from what i understand)
Wine will immediately shoot other AU.
It’s both Gaster and the system that made him that way. He’s born to be the best solider. He trained hard, deem to be love by Gaster but Gaster only see him and Coffee as tools. After Wine feelings toward Coffee became ‘his only family’ Wine wants to protect Coffee. Wine changed to rely on Coffee being relied to him. Wine betrayed Gaster cuz Gaster want to get rid of Coffee.
Wine is a conservative, because that what the system always is.
So Wine will shoot other AU immediately because for the system. AU is see as threat. The AU would bring new possibilities and that’s against the conservative view that is to continue the old/current system.
(The dictatorship and conservative control the knowledge of their citizens. Keep their knowledge low so it makes them easier to control. Risks of having the AU be seen by citizens is not good. Citizens can’t see new things, can’t have more knowledge of other AU, can’t know that world with freedom exist. So the AU is see as threat)
But of course, Wine is not really a full conservative as we seen in some settings about him, like Wine doesn’t discriminate toward Undyne&Alphys, Wine support Grillby and Muffet interracial wedding. But the system, the time(their au set in old period), and social. Also is the way he grow up, the way he need to be ‘the best’. It rooted too deep into his mind. And it show with what he said toward Coffee.
Yes Wine always seek power.
Because he’s a coward. Wine felt loved when Coffee relied on him as a child. But when they grow up, Wine still think that way to the point of unhealthy. Because he feared of being alone and lost his only family. And because of the system in underground is like that, he needs power to stay safe. To stay alive and hope that the thing he fears the most never come true. So it lead to seeking powers.
Wine for me, he’s a coward, he fears and the only way he knows how to ease those fears is to have more power.
Kinda words these badly, cycling nonstop. But it’s really just the way it is. Cycle. The system can't be changed. It needs to be perished.
Yes…. Poor Coffee…he also has a problem… but that’s for another time. Another post… the bairnrot hitting me bad…
These information are from @/fsg-settings go check it or you can see my post and a link to my doc i collected all the information in one doc and used google translated on them. So you can just read there. Or maybe opening the web would be easier?
#fellswap gold#fellswap gold sans#undertale au#im talking about game and fictional story#dont put me in jail#ask 🔶#my art 🔶
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Mingi "I'm not wearing underwear; just thought you should know"
Hello ^_^ Hard boi thoughts. Would have made this smut but aborted last minute. Idk if that's something y'all would want.
M/N gets hurt and it leads to sexual tension?
DM/Requests open.
~~~
In no way does this represent Mingi irl or his actual personality. This is fiction.
TW: Gay, Boner, Touching (non-sexually), Cooing, Fluff.
~~~
A loud thud filled the dorm air. It was quickly followed by a hissed-out string of cuss words. Seonghwa and San weren’t supposed to get back until way later due to a schedule they had together. Frowning, Mingi made his way out to the living room. His eyes quickly landed on M/N. The other curled up in pain on the ground. “M/N-ah?” He softly questioned. “Hyung,” The soft words made his heart flutter. It was clear the other was in pain. “What happened?” He questioned, dropping down next to the other. M/N gave a shaky breath before speaking. “Grabbing something from Seonghwa and fell,” He confessed. Mingi nodded his head at the words. “You ok?” He questioned, unsure of how to help the other. “Landed on my hip,” Mingi flinched at the words. M/N had gotten a hip injury when they were in Kingdom. It sometimes bothered him, but he always brushed it off as a joke.
Mingi ran his hand through the other’s hair at the words. “Should I call for help?” He asked. M/N shook his head as he slowly uncurled from the position he’d been in. “N-no, it’s ok,” Mingi carefully helped the other sit on the couch. Mingi wanted to chuckle at the thought of this happening in M/N’s dorm with Yunho and Yeosang. They didn’t have any furniture. M/N most likely would still be on the ground in pain. Mingi held back the soft giggle and rubbed the other’s thigh gently. “Should we take a look?” M/N shook his head, blushing red at the words. “It’s ok, Hyung,” M/N stated, resting his hands in his lap. Mingi frowned at the words. “M/N-ah, we should check. You really hurt yourself the last time this happened,” Mingi softly cooed, rubbing the other’s thigh gently. M/N bit his lip, refusing to meet Mingi’s gaze. “Hyung, it’s fine,” Mingi shook his head. “We’ll check, hm. If it’s bad I’ll take you, ok?” Mingi knew M/N hated being checked out. He probably didn’t want to go with the others or the managers. Mingi reached up to fiddle with the other’s waistband. M/N flushed a deeper red. He began to gently pull them down but was stopped by M/N.
“I’m not wearing underwear,” The confession making Mingi’s heart flutter. He hadn’t even thought about that. “Just thought you should know,” He stated quietly when Mingi didn’t reply. Mingi bit his lip lightly before speaking. “We still need to check, M/N-ah. Do you want a blanket?” M/N refused to meet Mingi’s gaze. M/N paused, unsure, before shaking his head slowly. “I’ll cover myself. You don’t have to pull my sweats all the way down, right?” Mingi nodded his head at the words. “Just enough to see,” He answered. M/N nodded his head, taking in the words. “Ok,” He quietly agreed.
Mingi carefully tugged the other’s sweats down. A frown making its way to his face. “You’re bruised already,” Mingi muttered. M/N frowned at the words. His hands moving from holding his sweats in place to peek at the nasty bruise forming. “Fuck,” He muttered, head snapping to look at Mingi. “You hit it pretty good. I don’t think you need treatment though,” He confessed. His eyes briefly met M/N’s before glancing down at the bruise again. He allowed one hand to lightly trail the bruise while his other hand softly played with the inside of M/N’s thigh. Mingi leaned down to place a delicate kiss to the other’s bruise. “Hyung,” The strained word causing Mingi’s head to land on M/N’s face. “M/N-ah?” He quizzed.
The other’s face was bright red, as if he was embarrassed. M/N refused to meet his gaze, hands covering his crotch once more. It suddenly clicked for Mingi. The other was hard and desperately trying to cover it. Mingi was suddenly aware of how intimate everything was. He carefully pulled away, biting his lip.
He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by the dorm door being swung open aggressively. It made them both flinch. “Mingi-ah! How does chicken sound for dinner?” Seonghwa’s voice rang through the dorm. M/N stood up quickly, putting space between the two of them. “Ah, staying for dinner, M/N-ah?” San asked. The said boy muttered something out and was quickly gone. Mingi frowned at the actions of the other. “He really hasn’t been in a chicken mood, huh,” San quizzed, rushing to grab something from the kitchen. Mingi agreed blindly as he moved to follow Seonghwa into the kitchen.
#mingi x male reader#smut#ateez scenarios#ateez oneshot#x male reader#atz x reader#x male y/n#mingi#song mingi#mingi x reader#mingi smut#mingi x m/n#x m/n#ateez x reader#atz x male reader#mingi scenarios#mingi oneshot
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"Marchil? I guess I can see it on Chilchuck’s end, but what about Marcille’s? What makes you think she could develop feelings for him?" I’m glad you asked!
The first thing to note is that she does think highly of him
In the page on the right, literally defending his virtues and literally comparing him to Dalclan. And oh…
She does love a brooding mysterious guy who closes himself to love. But surely, Chilchuck isn’t her type at all, right? He’s not princely or knightly at all. In apperances certainly not, both looks wise and demeanor wise, but then that’s why she seeks to know him on a deeper level, to not only look shallowly.
And hmm. Chilchuck really is quite selfless isn’t he? Always looking out for others, and saving specifically her often, always making sure himself and, staying in or even running towards danger for her sometimes. Modesty is often considered heroic…
And can we talk about that drowning one… You can definitely frame the special attention as him knowing she tends to hesitate or be clumsy, and then his insistance on pulling her out of danger that she’s the healer aka the most important to keep alive, but. From the one who says that he just keeps his ass out of fights and won’t help this is a lot of risk to take, and he does die trying to pull her to safety in the dungeon rabbits chapter. And the drowning bit??? That’s when the dungeon collapses. The only reason they DON’T die of drowning here is that the water then gives way to outside. There was NO hope of pulling her to safety here and resurrections would likely not work either, he truly preferred to die with her than try to survive himself.
Sit your ass back DOWN you are in no state, self-sacrifical hero much damn
And Marcille definitely noticed this imo, after all she loves learning all she can about him, remembering things like how he hates waiting on people too. She pays attention to him and what he does and what he says. This to say that it’s notable, whatever reason for it you may think (though we know by this point at least she was already aware he was an adult though it wasn’t internalized), out of everyone it’s Chilchuck’s bed that she wants to sleep in during the Golden Kingdom stay. He’s safe and comforting to her: dependable, the defining trait in her view of him as is shown by the relationship chart in the Adventurer’s Bible.
^ Lending handkerchiefs is a romance trope btw and handkerchiefs have irl history of being used for courting. Especially in old English literature and plays like Shakespeare’s Othello, and personally I do see a lot of Shakespeare in Dalclan (nobility political drama with some romance). There’s how his cowl is a dearly beloved souvenir from his family too, there’s a lot of aesthetic tropes you can apply to him.
All this to say you can 100% romanticize Chilchuck into a princely noble guy if you try and that’s exactly what Marcille does with the wife roleplay. She doesn’t need much in the first place, she latches onto crumbs and makes aesthetic narratives out of details, give her an inch she’ll take a mile.
But what’s interesting about the shift throughout the arc of her and his relationship is that she starts out idealizing him into a little angel of a kid (shapeshifter), and she ends it idealizing him as a virtuous husband and family man instead.
And what’s doubly interesting is that in the former, she’s actively warping who he is personality and demeanor wise to fit the aesthetic, he doesn’t have that bitter pride of not asking for help and the edges have been smoothened. But what she does during the wife roleplay is something else, she acknowledges the flaws and just… Accepts them, rolls with them. She’s aware of his flaws and implements them into the narrative, but the reason why his wife left doesn’t capitalize on them even, rather Chil is chilblivious and his wife loves him very much still, she’s just testing him after having had a night of feeling out of place at his side.
And this is what separates the idealization vs romanticization, she’s not twisting him into someone else she’s just uplifting what he is and focusing on the good sides.
Marcille: "he has a shitty personality sometimes but if he was my husband I’d still cherish him" "If I were your wife I’d be overjoyed to go out with you and would get myself prettied up while you complain about me taking a long time, your friends would tell me that I’m nice and that’d make me happy, but I’d also be sad because you wouldn’t tell me that you love me enough"
He’s angry and his wife left him, he’s *flawed*, but he’s still worth hyping up, still worth having his own romance story, still has a shot of winning back his beloved. She sees him for what he is, human and real and not a carefully scripted character that fits an aesthetic, and she thinks it’s still worthy of love and admiration and fighting for
And what’s funny too is that you might expect her to cool down on him once she learns more about him but actually she only gets increasingly into his business. You tell her your age and next thing you know you promise to introduce her to your family. Give her an inch she takes a mile. And too the thing is, Senshi is equally mysterious but she doesn’t pester him like at all, asks him ONCE about his succubus and he doesn’t even answer and that’s like… It. With Chilchuck it starts off innocently enough with her wanting to know his age, hometown, the stuff she mentions having asked pre-canon. But it just keeps and keeps going and escalating. Think she’ll be satisfied now knowing you have a wife and kids, maybe she’s disillusioned now? Wrong! She wants to know their names and ages and occupations and hey how did you propose to your wife? Do you think she’ll stop after meeting them? What’s next? What will she want to know next????
She’s… Like it’s not a reach that Marcille is all over him. Like it doesn’t mean it’s romantic but she just is. She is not normal about him idk. Can you not ask him about what tongue technique he used when first kissing his wife, give the man breathing room
Marcille could literally go "if I was Chilchuck’s wife" having deeply pondered and thought out the hypothetical and people would still ask where anyone sees any romantic potential between them. Oh wait
There’s a platonic explanation for everything (almost?) in Dungeon Meshi don’t say I’m saying otherwise, but it’s definitely not like there’s nothing here to read into lol
Going off a bit more under read bc it’s my fave topic
Marcille has a whole theme with the charming prince trope with her idealization and storybook motif and Chil is kinda the "Well someone perfect like that isn’t very realistic and romance is usually more complex and that’s ok and good and flawed people can still be ✨virtuous✨" catalyst
Do you see do you see she starts canon thinking the most romantic thing is a prince charming but her arc in the end has her romanticizing an average, flawed, real and realistic family man, who’s on the poorer side and is on the verge of divorce. And that’s what he needed, too, seeing the positive of himself and the situation instead of focusing on the negative is explicitly what inspires him to hope that he might be able to reconcile with his wife, gives him the courage and self-esteem to shoot his shot.
He IS a prince figure instead that now it’s not about idealizing the grand and overt it’s about romanticizing the small things in real life!! About finding joy and beauty in things that seem normal or mundane and uplifting them to make the world feel kinder!!!!
He’s the devoted virtuous man that she wantsss not the storybook prince that’s unrealistic and could crumble like a script at any time. He’s the perfect example of a flawed realistic but virtuous & devoted & loving man. Far from a prince charming, but not fully detached from it either. Something worth fighting for despite the flawed cracks. Like literally, flawed romance being worth fighting for is literally the finale of Chilchuck and Marcille’s arc on the matter, where their separate arcs and issues intersect at the most crucial moment.
Marcille is important to Chil’s arc not only because of her optimism, but also because of her interest and knowledge in romance & matters of the heart, and that’s what he needs to both open his heart up to hope and to try to reconcile with his wife, like idk sounds gay
Their arc together is literally learning to 1) see each other for how they are and not undermining their qualities capacities etc etc while still not leaving flaws unchecked either and 2) opening up to people. Marcille LITERALLY makes Chil open his heart up to hope like idk man. What do you want from me. He’s literally the guy helping her through deconstructing novels and fantasy and rose tinted glasses and like. Deconstructing the prince charming figure into something more real but still romantically beautiful like KUI KUI STOOOOP STOP I’M ALREADY HOOKED I’M ALREADY-
Ok fine that’s me reading into the tropes too much forgive me for being storybook brained but like. Speaking his heart out to a lone woman on a balcony, Romeo and Juliette shit, asking if she, too, doesn’t want to meet his family, madly blushing. And like she’s learned with Chilchuck it’s all in the little things, all the implications he cannot speak aloud. She does reciprocate, does blush madly back, and the first thing she does is shower him in flowers and jewelry and what in her heart is coded as romantic gifts
A lady, stashed away in a high tower by her lonesome, waiting for someone to call out to her from below… Romeo courting type shit with an offer, a heartfelt spiel, implicit confession from underneath her balcony. Offering him flowers because he succeeded in calling out to her heart…….. And they have to climb to her too…. Crazy
Doesn’t it sound like a proposal. One that’s both so storybook-like and not, contrastedly real and grounded, all about the implications rather than in your face grand gestures, "Don’t you want to meet my family?". They literally have an arc about the topic of romance and this is the climax/pinnacle of it like god?? This is @ the woman who said "Chilchuck is a shy/bashful man so I know he wouldn’t tell me he loves me, but…" btw
To quote a friend, truly the shiny secret unlockable dating sim capture target : THE DUNGEON LORD BIT WAS SO FUNNY BECAUSE HE KNEW SHE'D TAKE IT HOOK LINE AND SINKER HES THE ONE WHO GOT HER TO TURN AROUND COMPLETELY SHES LIKE. WIDE EYED FLAG RAISED???? FLAG RAISED WITH CHILCHUCK 👀👀👀‼️👀👀‼️👀
And the way that this is the culmination of their arc together… Like people are not ready for the ‘Chil calling out to dunlord Marcille on the balcony has Romeo and Juliette romance novels imagery’ take. Or the ‘their arc is about growing to see beauty even in the non-idealized, in the flawed and in the real’ take which makes it so so perfect if she were to lower her ideal from a charming elven prince to a virtuous halfling man (which she does end up romanticizing)
So there, you got to witness in real time what happens when I think about marchil for longer than 2 minutes, there are so many layers it’s a deranged rabbithole. I saw the necronomicon of subtext and it’s driving me to madness with forbidden knowledge that no one else sees
……. Like what if I told you she implicitly picked Chilchuck over a "unrealistic prince charming who’s actually disingenuous" much earlier in the story already. If she was given the choice to think through going with a guy that seems perfect and chivalrous like her succubus she’d pick Chilchuck over the other actually. If I sound insane rn tune in for my full analysis on them coming this month hopefully thank youu. Interwoven arcs of fantasy vs reality and idealization vs pessimism I love youuu
So now you know the general thesis of my planned analysis about the importance of the prince charming figure in Marcille and Chilchuck’s arc, where she romanticizes things to a sometimes worrying degree or idealize people into something easy and digestible and poetic (like Chil being a kid, and then him being a virtuous ✨✨✨husband), and how she needs to value aesthetics less and actual acts and facts more, be more grounded (like seeing people for what they are flaws and all, and accepting that people need money and not pulling through on principles of honor or unity shouldn’t get Namari shamed) and a part of that is accepting that Chilchuck is BOTH flawed and virtuous, a loving husband that still has shitty moods and fumbled his marriage so bad etc etc. So it’s like, her image of perfect prince charming that will whisk you away on an ethereal romance -> realistic flawed middle aged dad with personality issues and a failing marriage but he still is worthy of love and having his cute grand romance story and his happy ending. Ik I keep repeating the same point through this but I need it to be burned into everyone’s brains it has its grip on me I can’t do this. They are so special……
#Someone did ask (on discord) btw i’m not just being a smartass though I do love being that too#This is stuff I cover in my upcoming marcille & chil arc analysis except here I can go full romo and don’t keep the strictly platonic angle#It’s at like 15k words rn I think. The 30 pics limit is killing me which is why I started asking my friend to do collages of panels for me#Sob#I keep alternating between it and the Falin analysis save me. Should be dropping soon idk i might test out having a beta reader for that on#Marchil foreplay is 2 years of being coworkers and slowly worming personal questions out of him until he blinks and she has#a key to his house#Dungeon meshi#marchil#marcille donato#chilchuck tims#like they’re so so funny look at this shit. Nonconsensual romanticizing of you as a person. Obsessive interest in your personal life#She’s latched so hard onto the “mystery” of him they’re deranged#MAYBE ITS ALL COMPROMISES MAYBE ITS ALL SWEET INBETWEENS <3#maybe we'll take our vision of what we thought we could be and make something new together. something for just us#Fumi rambles#Maaan Marcille’s ‘idealizing him into liking him even for all his flaws bc his personality is often kinda shitty’ arc’#and Chilchuck’s ‘prejudice against elves and mages and optimism into respect and trust’ arc are everything to me#Meta#Spoilers#Dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Tagged this so late oops#It’s so funny. She’s canonically wondered how Chil would be like as a lover#No no but like do u see. Fantasy is a key part of her chrcter and arc and he’s the foil to that he’s the thing that comes challenge it
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God i’m thinking about how easily and unknowingly strangers can grant you salvation like i found it in how my old classmate told me once that i was a kind person and it was the first time i’d ever believed it
in how a coworker once said that i always seem so happy and have a nice smile and i cried about it when i got home since i’d always been told i seem too serious or mean
in how someone once told me i was good at comforting them when i’d always thought i was bad at it
Just god they’re out there somewhere and i barely remember what they looked like and we’ll never cross paths again but they changed me so deeply, they’re out there but they’ll never know how often i revisit those memories and think of myself even just a little more kindly they’re out there and i don’t know them but they’re the most important people in the world to me somehow
#me?? having a Night™️?? more likely than you’d think#im missing the people i never really knew#and im stuck echoing their words to myself#it’s honestly so important to hear things from people who don’t have an agenda to hurt you#who didn’t form a perspective of you at 14 and never let it go#i dont know#it’s just insane how badly ive always felt about myself#how inherently true i thought it was that i was mean or cold or unlikeable#only to have so many people tell me differently the past few years#and i still feel so mean and cold and unlikeable so often because of the people close to me!!#and i probably will forever to some extent!!#and it’s such an awful feeling#but just knowing even one person saw me as kind or happy is such a balm to that pain#that even if every person i meet from here on out found me flawed#there was at least one that saw kindness and joy in me?? that’s healing#idk#idk im emotional and tired and just want to believe i can be a good person sometimes#and sometimes i feel like that one ‘you’re so nice’ i received three years ago is the only thing holding me together sometimes#god just ignore me
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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footnotes arent enough I need you to talk to me like im fucking Amelia Bedelia
#this isn’t about anything in particular btw. I just have to add a lot of memos when I’m doing things because some things are done a certain#way and it isn’t explained well in the instructions. like my mom has instructions on her baking recipes right#but when it says stuff like add dry ingredients to wet ingredients it also means you don’t dump it in one go you add it slowly by portion#this is probably why I find videos and demonstrations the most helpful when I learn something. like I almost always ask someone to show me#how they do it because there could be something they do that’s already second nature and wouldn’t really be considered in an explanation yk#I don’t think I’m an exception either. when the rice is done cooking I divide it into 4 quarters to bless it#but there are a million ways to divide rice and it makes me think that one persons way of doing it or not doing it all is just as valid#theres also technically no wrong way to divide rice afaik. this means either all ways of dividing rice is safe or valid until we find some#universally terrible way of dividing rice. until that happens nobody really thinks about specifying HOW you divide the rice#source: I have anxiety starting and doing things for the first time because I got way too many people yell at me NONONO WHAT ARE YOU DOING#THATS WRONG while I’m in the middle of doing the thing. I would rather have people think I’m either very stupid or overly specific#than go thru the panic inducing fear of ‘YOURE DOING THIS WRONG OMG WHY DIDNT YOU ASK AHEAD OF TIME THIS WILL BE FUCKED UP FOREVER’ 🧍#nothing wrong if you don’t give something a second thought because you’re so used to it. but I can and will ask about it and I don’t think I#really should feel bad about it if I don’t know enough to dispute it. idk#the other way around I try to be as specific as possible and word things in a way that people who might not get where I’m coming from will#understand. but the problem with that is my explanations tend to be lengthy and I lose them either way 🗿#Im. trying to work on that using examples and stuff because they seem to work the best#but if I could write everything down on a word doc and beam it into your melon that would save both of us time and embarassment#im rambling the short version is I have adhd#yapping
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The funny thing about a TFP Humanformers AU is that if you’re changing the bots to humans, that leave the question of if the humans are bots or the humans are not, because if the Autobot Decepticon faction division still exists and the war is ongoing you’d kinda just… be left with random robot children that got involved somehow.
I mean, cybertronian Fowler makes sense given he’s a military man and primary human liaison for the Autobots already, flipping him around potentially means that he’s a military ranked bot hiding on Earth under the protection of the Autobots. The cybertronian version of MECH too makes sense as the ‘Decepticons’ of this switched universe, probably being Shockwave wannabes and dissecting human cadavers or vivisecting live subjects in the pursuit of alien interests; stereotypical alien behaviour according to Earth media. Heck, robo Fowler and mecha Silas can have PERSONAL beef or at least a history of knowing each other to the point that the Autobots are warned of a more insidious alien curiousity.
But the kids being on Earth is like… harder? Aside from explaining why they’re on a completely different planet (if it even IS based on Earth) you also gotta consider the gimmick that these kids get themselves into danger mostly thanks to the headstrong enthusiast and overeager Miko dragging the others along, and idk about you but if I saw a giant robot kid come across a fresh battlefield and say anything remotely positive about it, I’d probably just give up and turn the other direction.
#transformers#tfp#humanformers#maccadam#idk i’m trying to word what i’m thinking but i don’t think it’s working#maybe reworking how to consider the humanformersification might help#if the auto… ya know it’s a very bot centric name innit#if the autobots had at least a small military might behind them like what fowler brings#which depends on how much military influence or access he had as a human fowler#maybe then there’s enough defence for a bot fowler to hide behind even on a planet near completely decimated by war#and i guess the decepticons have the vehicons and mech has their soldiers so that’s an easy translation#again- hard to put the kids in without shoving in ‘convientiently destined refugees’ or ‘dropship crashes’ stuff idk#this is probably the thought process going for my humanformers#i know nuke’s been working on a species swap down to the fact miko raf and jack have cybertronian names#idk lmao
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okay what i have to say is lowkey embarrassing but i wanna bitch and it’s probably only embarrassing to me bc im shy about this stuff anyways the moral of the story is i wanna bitch and u should probably just ignore me. god bless
#honestly halfway through the wedding i did see this guy i thought was rlly cute#like. REALLY cute (so fucking embarrassing)#but i’m too shy to talk to hot people and i’ve never approached anyone before and no one’s ever approached me so i don’t know what to do#idk how to talk to people to begin with let alone like. try to flirt or something#but as the night went on (this is so embarrassing) for some reason i literally couldn’t stop looking at him (kill me)#and he probably definitely noticed me looking at him so he probably thinks im some like. crazy creep or something#but like usually when i see someone attractive im just like oh wow and admire them from afar#but i COULDNT STOP LOOKING AT HIM! WHY! and for some reason i felt like i just really wanted to talk to him#but i didn’t know what to do! i just felt this urge to go try and start a conversation but i just. i couldn’t#and every time i thought i would work up the courage either my sister or my grandmother would come back and hover over me#and i didn’t wanna be like ‘sorry gotta go i need to go embarrass myself in front of this cute guy’#OR he would get up and start taking pictures again. it’s like he knew#he wasn’t even the official photographer he was just one of the guests who clearly wanted to take photos of his friends wedding. which like#is so endearing to me. he has HOBBIES. WOW. (kill me)#idk j can’t even put everything into words i just feel like screaming into a pillow AAAAAAUGHHH#i felt like i was in hs again there was a point i even excused myself to step outside just because he was out there#but he was talking to some old lady. so i was just sitting outside in the grass moping#i feel so stupid i dunno. why am i so worked up about this. i had a few opportunities to approach him and i didnt. because im an idiot#i feel like i’m down so bad which is so STUPID because i don’t even know his name and ill never see him again in my life#so it doesn’t even matter! and every time im like oh oh well it was just random infatuation clearly it wasn’t meant to be#but then i just get upset and all blushy cause he was SO CUTE! and i wanna know more about him! why!#i haven’t felt like this in FOREVER i just feel so stupid for even feeling this way#i know ill be fine in a few days or something but im just like. i wish i could have at least spoken to him once#sigh. idk what’s wrong with me#maybe he’s already dating someone anyways all the cute people seem to already be in relationships#except ME im the only one left. who am I supposed to date!!#i want to jump out the window#snow.txt
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I’m the type that can and will cry if think too hard <3
#random post#me tag ∠( ᐛ 」 ) |/#I’m not an overly emotional person in the stereotypical way. but I do get in my feels when thinking about life and the experience of living#I’m like. constantly explaining things to myself cus there’s never really a time or place to talk about it#also my method of explaining things is very not coherent sometimes. so it takes me a bit to really get my point across in a comprehensible#way. I’m a big thinker. I have many thoughts and ideas a views. a daily thing of mine is noticing problems#and then fixing them in my head with thought out explanations and motives and outcomes#it’s like I’m talking to someone else. much like how I format my text posts. that’s how my inner monologue is#me talking to myself is actually me talking to someone else. someone that isn’t real#anyways it’s a daily occurrence. every day of my life is spent with thoughts similar to those breaking down a movie#lots of thoughts from adhd. compulsive thoughts from ocd. overwhelming thoughts from autism. distressing thoughts from bpd#ya. this isn’t a vent I just need to like. see the thoughts in writing so I can do smth else. like eat this muffin ive been staring at for#over an hour now <3 mmmbfbg yea muffins are hard to eat now cus I had some with mold and food mold especially is a big nono for me#spend like. five minutes examining the damn thing before I even consider taking a bite. I’m very hungry an thirsty </3#when your mouth is so dry you can taste your own mouth 👍 I’m experiencing#nothing in particular. just experiencing. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I like having an experience and living#drank my tea and I had like. hallucinations of like an alcohol prep pad. I’ve been using those in my ear cus. tmi. had a pimple that’s#causing problems so mom suggested that. it burned! which means it worked so word. I’ve noticed lately that both me AND my family have been#using ‘word’ a lot. dad says we’ve been saying it but no we haven’t. if we had I’d have BEEN saying it. maybe we’ve used it before for a bit#but now it’s back. idk. I’ve said it in class on more than one occasion lmao I don’t look like the type to say smth like that but whatever#it’s like when I used to say bro after every sentence like 10 years ago lol. we’re a family of parrots we repeat eachother a lot#I started saying I love you out of no where and they started doing it too. we whistle at eachother from across the house. sing ear worms#together. quote funny things at every opportunity and drive the joke into the ground. everyone in this house is a different kind of mentally#I’ll and it’s the most beautiful clash of personalities because we’re all so annoying and we love eachother so much and also our#communication is shit because some ppl have hearing loss and another is a short fused child and some are quick to interrupt and some dont#get a word in and some just can’t explain and some can’t understand. we get there eventually at some point. we don’t get the full grasp of#how much we love eachother yet. but we’re gettin there. anyways this went into several different directions but they’re all good ones#I think. if you read all this good on you! this is my brain 24/7/365 haha ok love you
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so I had the summer (in reality, like… almost three months) off from one of my volunteering roles and I’m 20 minutes into my first meeting back and I am already so irritated and angry. maybe this is Not A Good Sign.
#people! are! just! so! useless!#and I am being uncharitable to some people but god#this meeting is also going to go on fucking forever bc nobody can stay on track#and like everyone is very nice! but sometimes I do not care about people being nice I care about getting shit done and not being in#a meeting til 8pm#like maybe I need to#just. dip.#I am full of frustration#I managed to get my point said about us needing more people there to Get Shit Done in between everyone being very optimistic#and like they agree with me#but god#I thought I would have more patience after a few months off and. nope. less patience#it’s just herding cats on intense steroids#and not doing it for a couple months has uh. brought into sharp relief how dysfunctional and infuriating a system it is#one of the people I work with just talks all fluff#like a consultant who charges by the word is what my partner said#and it’s all like things we should do or things we should focus on and empty buzzwords#‘we need to ensure these people have a seat at the table’ ‘we need to expand our offering’ ‘we need a concrete x policy in place’#‘we need to provide a space for the most marginalised in our community’ ‘#like great ok but what are we doing and crucially who is doing it and how#bc you’re not doing it you’ve just said you’re at low capacity#and we are at best a team of five and currently a team of three if we’re optimistic#the buzzword bingo REALLY pisses me off idk if it’s the lesbian in me or the scientist in me or just the tired grumpy old man in me#I think I’ve complained enough#I may…….. have to reconsider what I’m doing here I don’t think getting this angry within a few minutes of a meeting is healthy#it’s a good org I think we do important work#buuut at what point is that not a good enough reason to stick around yknow#ok if you’ve read this far thank you for reading all my anger
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i think my university fucking bit me wtf
#it started last semester or maybe even last year but they infected me with an anxiety that completely rewired my brain#i have general anxiety disorder & i’ve had the occasional ‘something bad is gonna happen’ day where im anxious the whole day for no reason#but then it changed to this like. academic anxiety that got so bad i was like. nauseous all the time throwing up i had to go to a counselor#and now i’m straight up paranoid. like idk maybe i’m not using the word right but i’m convinced every day all my worst fears are gonna—#just happen one after the other. my tumblr will be revealed to my family. my toxic ex will come back into my life—#my money for school is revoked things like that.#because adult life is just so confusing and convoluted and works against people#and my anxiety just goes through this loop of ‘everyone dislikes you/hates you/thinks you’re annoying’ so -> ‘you’re gonna get in trouble’#so -> ‘your life will be irreparably damaged and/or you will die’#the ‘you’re gonna get in trouble’ bit especially gets me because it’s like bitch how!! i follow laws!! i cheat a bit less than the average—#student! any time someone has a concern with like my work performance or something they politely tell me#why do i have the anxiety of a fucking hunted animal over these things!!#i wanna be numb actually i miss that time. it still sucks but at least i don’t make myself sick#things would be so much easier if i was a house spouse who cooked & cleaned (with no kids) & didn’t have a job or go to school#ofc managing a house has its own challenges and i don’t wanna undermine that but ykwim#i want this fuckin eye of sauron off my ass already 🧍#and don’t even get me started on the ‘you have to do this little task in this specific way or else everyone you love will die’ thoughts#that’s a whole other mess#tw vent#rose.txt
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Another batch or Mr. Puzzles quick sketches. I kept forgetting to draw his side pocket in the last couple ones. Random character featured in the little comic-ish Live Interview is some version of doodlesona. Can’t guarantee the dialogue will be believable/sound in character for Puzzles because honestly I’m still working on understanding his talking style and when he sarcastically jokes around or when he chooses to be serious and drop performance act. But in the off chance you wanna read it goes from left to right with reading
#GUYS it’s so hard drawing a character who uses his hands to communicate 24/7 jksjsksp PLEASE#my brain doesn’t know what pose to put him at any given time because he keeps SWITCHING inbetween words#he’s so animated and that’s why I love him so much expression and emotion in display#but I don’t like drawing hands at any given time if I can avoid it so screw him jskjso#the last two pages I think I’ve started to get a hang of how his expressions operate#still need to see if I can pull off the full range in my own style tho#and yes I inserted my silly doodle sona in the interview segment hello wazzup lol#although it’s very much a caricature because in reality I have no issues being on film. Been doing that since I was a toddler it’s natural#was even in a production class in high school operating camera equipment like I honestly love it#speaking of that art…still trying my best to figure out how his dialogue is meant to sound?#like I’ve always struggled with writing character dialogue I’m unfamiliar with the style of#thing is I’m good at acting the part if you give me a script to follow and example of tone inflections#but writing it from scratch is a whole nother struggle#so I’m sorry if it doesn’t feel on point I’ll try to get better at analyzing his speech patterns#honestly think I made it too formal sounding here? Or jumbled in some parts because I was stumped on how he’d translate thoughts to words#still fun interaction tho!#like I think he’d try his best to drop a few moments of empathy and try to get someone with anxiety to feel comfortable#but he’s also got the ratings to worry about and can’t afford it being ruined by someone’s anxiety hiccup#so kinda treading the line of being compassionate and giving advice to calm them v.s impatience to get the show rolling#or something idk still trying to analyze him and how he reacts to given circumstances#can you tell I think way too deeply about all this trivial stuff?#doodles#sketches
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surely surely someone has written an essay on how the slenderwpverse and co treat mental illness, cmon it’s like a main theme in all these series
#It’s not great#but I think most of that is a result of these coming out in like early 2010s#There’s alot of loaded words and badely understood issues#I believe that’s part of the intent though#These are everyday 20 somethings of course they’re going to be really abelist#I really want to state though I am not knocking the series#I am just trying to think if there’s a way to separate these themes from the slender mythos#And sigh idk maybe maybe having the “mentally ill” character almost kill someone is not great#But see he’s only like mentally ill coded ? That sounds awful but I don’t know how else to describe it#You guys know those stupid thriller films where a women sees like a murder happen or something and then the rest of the story is everyone#Telling her she’s crazy ? But she’s eventually proven right#Idk it’s weird#I’ll give more thoughts if I attempt to watch another series
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