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#i have so much to rant about when it comes to them
mandarinmoons · 1 day
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hi! i have an idea ive been thinking about for a while. spencer and the team (plus reader) are at a bar and reader goes off to get a drink/dance/talk to someone and either a girl or a group of girls come up to spencer and start flirting with him. the first thing she/they ask ofc is "do you have a girlfriend?" and spencer (not realizing they are flirting) is like yes!!! her name is _____ and she is amazing and i love her so much.... and he goes on like a 20 minute rant about reader. reader finally finds him talking to these girls/girl and has to recuse them/her from his ranting about herself and explain what they actually meant.
sorry that was a lot but i wanted to make sure understood what i was envisioning. thank you so much!!!
“Spence, please!”
Spencer kept pulling you closer as he tried to nuzzle his way into your neck and leave a few kisses behind your ear. He wasn’t one for PDA, but after a few shots he was puddy in your hands and everyone had to witness what a mess you made of him in this state.
“I just wanna be close to you,” you could feel him pout as his lips were pressed against your neck, his thumbs rubbing over your waist.
“Looks like you’re not getting out of here anytime soon, huh pretty girl?”
Derek chuckled as he took pleasure seeing his younger brother of a coworker finally have a girlfriend, especially with how clingy he was being at the moment. It was as if Spencer would follow you if you were to leave for only a minute, which he had done approximately half an hour ago when you excused yourself to go to the bathroom and somehow he still had enough brainpower to talk about how hand-dryers could actually spread more germs and not remove them. He’d even taken it upon himself to take some paper towels and dry your hands for you, making sure to even dry the spaces between your fingers.
You had had only one drink and you were not going home unless you had a second one. Spencer had already downed three in that time, and looking at the state that he was in, it was obvious that he wasn’t going to get served any more tonight.
“Spence, I'm going to get a quick drink, okay? Stay here.”
Prying his hands off of you, you quickly slipped out of Spencer’s grasp before he managed to put his hands on your waist again.
A few minutes later, Penelope pulls Derek to the dance floor while Emily comes across an old friend and excuses herself to have a word with her, leaving Spencer all by himself at the booth, his tongue sticking out from the side of his mouth while fidgeting with his fingers. He was too deep in thought that he didn’t notice a group of girls come over and sit next to him, their intentions clearly not innocent.
“Hi! You’re here all alone?”
“Oh, I’m not! I’m here with my girlfriend and team mates!”
“I don’t see any girlfriend around.”
“She went to get a drink. Oh, she loves an aperol spritz, she’s got great taste, in general not just in drinks.”
The girls watched in amazement as Spencer kept talking about every small thing he could come up with about you, from your favorite color and the psychological meaning behind it to your Myers Briggs personality type and how you’re both compatible.
As the endless line at the bar finally came to an end and you managed to get your drink, walking back to the team’s spot you noticed the unfamiliar girls surrounding Spencer and your stomach churned in nerves. The closer you got however you noticed their bored and confused faces and that’s all you needed to know that Spencer had most probably pulled his book smarts out on them and left them speechless.
“Oh and this one time- Y/N, you’re back!”
Spencer pulled you in for a hug, nearly knocking the drink out of your hands. Managing to put it down on the table, you rested your hand on his back as you turned your attention to the strangers, them clearly on the edges of their seats and ready to bolt at any moment.
“We’re gonna go, nice to meet you both.”
Your eyes followed them as they quickly got up and made their way to the other side of the bar, even from a distance you could see the red hue on their cheeks, embarrassment written all over their faces.
“Spence, what did they want?”
“They came over and asked if I had a girlfriend.”
“That’s it?”
Spencer nodded as he nuzzled into your stomach, “And I talked about how great you are and how I’m going to marry you one day.”
Laughter erupted from your mouth as you heard the answer, also because of Spencer’s fingers practically digging into your sides that it was tickling you.
“Sweetie, I don’t think that’s what they meant by that.”
“What do you mean?”
“Usually when someone asks “Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?”, it’s their way of asking “Are you single?”
Spencer blinked his eyes, your words not yet registering in his head.
“They were flirting with you.”
“Oh… really?”
Nodding along, the conversation was put on halt as everyone made their way back to the table.
“You guys had to leave him alone, huh?”
“Why? What happened?”
“Some girls came up to Spencer and tried to hit on him.”
“Oh, pretty boy’s got game now, huh?”
The team chuckled, but Spencer kept burrowing his head more into your embrace. It was clear that no matter how many girls tried their luck with him it would inevitably fail, as you were his home that he would come back to every time.
You can find my masterlist here!
Let me know your thoughts in the comments and like & reblog to support <3
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tame-the-lion-writes · 15 hours
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reader x dog shifter 141 [pt.2]
(If you haven't seen it yet, here's part one.)
It’s been a couple weeks, and you’re starting to catch on to just how smart your dogs are.
Not that you know what they actually are—but they’ve got this weirdly human intelligence behind their eyes, and weirdly human personalities. The Great Dane likes to sit on the recliner in your living room, regal and commanding, often watching your front yard whenever the gardener would come over. The gardener’s son replaced him once for a job, leaving grass cuttings in the driveway, and he was all huffy about it. It amused you at first, but then you realized his judgement wasn’t reserved for strangers. He was even more huffy the time you accidentally burned a steak. (Jeez, since when was he a dad?) Not to mention the empty whiskey glasses he likes to keep around, but that's not right—dogs can't have alcohol, can they?
The German Shepherd, on the other hand, is surprisingly clingy—but not in a bump-into-your-leg or overtly cuddly kind of way. Instead, he follows you while never begging for attention, attentive and patient as though a soldier awaiting orders. You’ve been jump-scared one too many times by his presence, when you think you’re alone and he appears out of thing air. A massive giant of a dog, with paws as silent as a shadow. And he’s stubborn—doesn’t initiate contact, but you swear you’ve caught a subtle bashful glance. Especially when you scratch behind his ears and along the scar of his cheek and chin.
But what the Shepherd lacks in open affection, the Labrador makes up tenfold. He doesn't pester about it, though, simply hopping up to your side on the couch to curl up or placing his muzzle on top of your knees. Still, while probably the most obedient out of the four, you’ve seen him get roped into food heists with the Foxhound, or stalking as closely and silently as the Shepherd. Very much the little brother who tags along with whatever. But you can't stay mad at him for long, either—not when he knows how to apologize—bringing you a freshly chomped-off flower from the backyard whenever you get mad. Then he'll sit at your heels with a faint tail wag, whining 'til you're settled and appeased.
The Foxhound is perhaps the most talkative, in both a noisy and conversational way. His joy is unrelenting around you, and he greats you like you’d expect any other dog. Still, he’s awfully communicative. It’s how you’ve learned their names—with you wandering aloud what to call them, and him making faces at every suggestion. He eventually settled for playing retriever: playing charades by bringing you back bottles and bars of soap. For the Great Dane, he grabbed an old receipt from the trash. For the Shepherd, he threw on a sheet. He seemed awfully confused on what to do for the Labrador, though, and just kept whining as if in apology.
“So Soap, Price, Ghost, and…,” you trail off, glancing at the Labrador with a slight pout. “Oh, I’m sorry, boy. I really don’t know what to call you. And Soap here seems like he’s run out of braincells.”
Ghost snorts in amusement, which is returned by Soap’s unfettered glare.
The next morning, though, there really is no explanation as to how Soap learned the alphabet, how to write, or to arrange your bedsheets in the following name: GAZ.
_
Bonus Thoughts:
"Aha... what the fuck."
Price has face-palmed (face-pawed?) and Ghost just walks over and calmly almost slapstick-esque baps Soap on the head. Meanwhile, Gaz looks dejected, pressing his forehead to the front door, like he's expecting you to kick them out in the next five seconds.
Not that you would, of course—but we can queue the mild horror and existential questioning of what the hell these dogs actually are. You call your friend to rant about your theory—that they could be escapees from a top secret government laboratory, or spies from another country. She just says to enter them into a dog show, or make ‘em celebrities on social media.
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sevsbestfriend · 3 days
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I usually write fics here but I just wanna rant rn.
Sometimes I got to old posts and stuff, either to get new ideas or just see what the fuck is going on with the other side of the fandom.
The people coming to James defense or crazy, like on one hand they are like 'oh he was only human, he grew as a person otherwise how would lily love him?'
We literally have cannon confirmation that the fucking prat didn't stop hexing people, he just learned to hide it better. Sirius and Remus confirmed this when they called Severus a 'special case'. I don't give a shit about them saying he attacked first, you better believe I am attacking first if I come across a guy who has stripped me naked in public when I didn't do shit to him. (Or the other guy who tried to get me killed by bloody werewolf) Like wtf are you even talking about at that point???
Also, Harry comes across a detention report of them hexing another student in their 7th year. So uhm...yeah.
Then they are like 'oh Severus hates him so his memories are biased'
Did you morons even read the books?? Pensive memories are unbiased, any manipulation is extremely apparent as we saw in Slughorns case. So NO they aren't biased that extremely uncomfortable read of SWM? it's fucking canon in its truest sense.
Also, how in the ever living hippogryph does a guy who strips people naked for fun change so much that he becomes head boy??
It's pretty simple, he doesn't. He learns to hide it better and given the fact that this person has always been given the benefit of the doubt, it is very easy for them to their nature.
Dude had a map that showed him everyone's real time location and an invisibility cloak, he could damn well harass anyone in isolated corners of the castle if he wished. Which is exactly what he did.
Also, these people love to claim how 'lily only approved of him cause he changed.'
To that I say, Who the fuck is Lily?? Mother Teresa??
How is she the ultimate decider of what is good and bad and at the same time, completely right in dating someone who stripped another student makes after a year (or 2) of the event??
Don't get me wrong, she doesn't owe Severus anything, really, but seriously this is just ridiculous. Like if I was a woman, I would be genuinely terrified of someone like that, especially when they got away with no real consequences what so ever.
James was a prick with a very good PR team for friends and teachers. That's really it, it is often said that good looking people can get away with a lot of things and James is just a prime example of that.
---_---_---_---_---_---_---_---_
Also...BRAVE?? Dude had 2 cheat items and the advantage of a Pureblood upbringing and was still too PUSSY to face Severus alone. Yeah..what a real Gryphindor that one. Scrams bravery to you doesn't it? He did this all the way till 17, so yeah he definitely was super important in the order right??
---_---_---_---_---_---_---_---_---_
Dumbledore invested quite a bit in the Marauders with his blatant favoritism and letting a werewolf in the school risking his own position as a headmaster.
And...they all turned to be bloody useless. With only James being useful because of his participation in the birth of Harry Potter.
Sirius in his madness derailed a murder investigation for a fucking decade.
Remus, I genuinely can't remember anything substantial Remus did, except for letting someone he believed was a murderer into Hogwarts and never telling Dumbledore that they were Animagus to begin with.
---_---_--_---_
Seriously, the most useful person in the war had to literally beg on his knees for the man to use him. Even fate was like, for fucks sake, just give this guy a chance already.
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tulliok · 2 days
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Regaeding that mlp rant you went on, the thing that astonished me is the fact that's what they decided was the correct way to punish Cozy Glow, when there are comparatively worse villains that exist in the mlp world, which the main cast have faced before and treated with far more respect, dignity and straight up equality.
Nightmare Moon was going to shroud the world in eternal darkness, but she got off with basically just a slap on the wrist. Discord was going to plunge the world into chaos and stole away the elements of harmony, but he didn't change at all. He just stopped being straight up evil, and that was good enough. Starlight Glimmer is an entire can of worms for another day, but needless to say, she sure did a whole lot of bad stuff and got redeemed nonetheless, despite being a constant antagonist who at one point, threatened the entire world and multiple timelines.
However, when it comes to Cozy Glow, a child who was effectively groomed by Lord Tirek, she is not offered that same kindness or patience or understanding. Instead, she gets the same punishment as him and Queen Chrysalis, which, like you said, is effectively this world's form of capital punishment.
The way the show in general treats villains can be frustrating at times because when the show decides you should like them now, all of their actions and excused and, 'hey it wasn't really all that bad right? they were a bit upset and did a bad', and they get reformed despite putting in no effort to change their ways and learn and grow from their mistakes (and feeling bad for what you did, but not actually doing anything about it, doesn't count, I'm looking at you Luna).
Which is exceedingly frustrating because we know the show can do just that. Take for instance, Sunset Shimmer, who faces the consequences of her actions, learns from them, and changes her behaviour. By the end of the Equestria Girls saga, not only a part of the human girl's main friend group, but now also friends with everyone at school.
Sorry for ranting in your inbox, this show just frustrates me at times even though I love it dearly. You might not agree with me on every point, so I'd be very interested in hearing what you have to say if you feel like giving a response to this ask.
I mean, yeah, all of this. I don't have much to add. Like, I love Discord and Starlight obviously, but I'm not convinced at all that they deserve redemption more than a 6 year old does. Someone did ask me to give more of my thoughts on the final seasons so I'll get more into how I feel about this stuff there.
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harrywavycurly · 2 days
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I just know there’s moment with SC girl and Harry when she does something and Harry just thinks she’s the most adorable thing he’s ever seen😩😩
Hiii babes!!! Ohh I’m sure there are soooo many moments that Harry just looks at her and goes “you’re so damn cute” but he’d have to make sure she can’t hear him or he’d get a quick “language!” Tossed back at him for saying the word damn😂 but I hope you enjoy this little blurb about a moment between them, it’s totally random but I can see it happening💖
-find all things Southern Comfort here✨
A/N: You don’t even realize you’re doing it but Harry doesn’t mind because he thinks you’re adorable, enjoy✨
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“Oh sugar did I tell you about my meet the teacher next week?” Harry adjusts the bag on his shoulder as you briefly let go of his hand making him frown as he looks down at you just as you reach into the front pocket of your denim shorts and grab your chapstick. “I think it’s the same night as that dinner thing with Mitch and oh darn it.” Harry watches you in amusement as you run the chapstick over your lips while your eyebrows scrunch together while you try to remember the name of the other person invited to the dinner you’re talking about next week.
“Do you need a-”
“No no don’t give me a hint just yet it’s on the tip of my tongue I can practically taste it.” You cut off his attempt to help making him chuckle as the two of you come to a pause on the sidewalk, enjoying an afternoon walk to the beach on one of Harry’s rare Saturdays off. He turns to face you and without really thinking you get up on the very top of your tiptoes with the chapstick in one hand, you reach up and gently hold the side of his face with your free hand and quickly run the balm over his lips before capping it and putting it back in your pocket. “James! That’s his name!” You all but shout excitedly before you reach down and grab Harry’s hand and begin walking.
Harry can’t do much besides stare at you for a moment before his brain reminds him that you’re walking so he needs to also move his feet before you start to actually drag him down the sidewalk. He knows you’re totally unaware of the fact his heart just felt like it melted into a puddle at his feet the moment he felt your hand on his cheek to hold his face still so you could swiftly apply the much needed chapstick to his lips. You have a tendency to do things that just have him left standing there in awe of you because it’s just little acts like you applying chapstick to his lips, the times you patch up a holes in his jeans (without him having to ask) because you already have your sewing kit out, you absentmindedly putting sunscreen or bug spray on him before leaving the house after applying it on yourself or when you pack him a lunch to take to the studio and leave it in the fridge for him with a little love note tucked inside that show him how effortless it is for you to care about him and that’s just something he’s not used to.
“Honey? You okay?” Your tone is laced with a hint of worry causing your accent to be a bit thicker than normal snapping Harry out of his thoughts, he blinks a few times and just nods as he brings your hand up to his lips.
“I’m good sweetheart.” The smile you give him when he places a few kisses to the top of your hand is enough to make his knees want to give out. “So what were you saying about your meet the teacher?” He asks in hopes it makes you go on a little rant.
Something Harry has learned over the last few months of dating you is that he does love it when you get caught up in a story because you just get so animated and your accent goes thicker as you speak so fast sometimes he wishes subtitles would appear in front of you so he doesn’t have to ask so many follow up questions that make you think he wasn’t listening. Because one thing about Harry is that he always listens it’s just sometimes he gets too caught up in how your voice sounds saying the words rather than focusing on what the words actually are.
“Oh well since it’s the same night as that dinner with Mitch and James I was seeing if I could just send you off with a dessert of some sort since I won’t be able to make it.” You stop walking when you come up to a stop sign, Harry stands next to you for a moment before you see him take a step towards the street. You naturally drop his hand and hold your arm out blocking him from taking another step without even looking at him. Harry looks down at your arm that hits him below his chest and he has to rub his lips together to hold back his smirk. “I’m thinking a bunt cake? I haven’t made one in a good long while and it’s about to be fall so I think that’s the perfect time for a bunt cake.” You continue as you lean forward a bit and look to your left and see there’s no cars coming and then look to your right and see the coast is clear making you drop your arm and grab Harry’s hand so you can lead him across the street.
“Baby did you-”
“I just don’t know if it’s too early for a pumpkin flavored one? Does Mitch even like pumpkin things? I’ll have to text him.” Harry can’t fight the smile that takes over his face as you keep walking and talking, and he knows you don’t mean to ignore him he knows you’re just deep in your thoughts and probably didn’t even hear him.
“Baby.” He says it a bit louder but still just as softly as he did the first time, you turn your head and look at him and he has to stop walking making you raise an eyebrow as you stop and look up at him. “Did you just mom arm me at that crosswalk?” He doesn’t ask to embarrass you he asks because he needs to know if it’s something you even know you do or not. You turn your head to look at the crosswalk not even a few feet behind the two of you and then back up at Harry with a playful look in your eye.
“I sure did.” You answer making Harry laugh as he reaches down with his free hand and tucks some of your hair behind your ear. “What was I supposed to do just let you walk out into the street without looking both ways? I mean really sugar even my four year olds know better than that.” There it is, your classic way of teasing him but also making him know you care about him at the same time.
“You are so fucking adorable.” You roll your eyes as he leans down so he can place a kiss to your lips, he knows you’re going to get on to him for the cursing but right now he doesn’t care because your lips are soft and taste like strawberries.
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amarayys · 2 days
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DRDT episode 13 theory. So.
so i was meant to be making a general episode 13 analysis video. but um. i dont have the energy for that. so what am i gonna do instead? TALK ABOUT TERUKO try find out wtf david is doing in this scene
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SO. time to find out what possibly the FRUITIEST look ever from david means!!! disclaimer:
I suck at theories. And formatting. Yipee.
I'm painfully unfunny so excuse any dumbass jokes i make.
I'm going to find any and all excuses to rant abt teruko. be prepared...............
4. I may repeat myself a lot. Forgive me if it sounds really repetative... :( 5. Any points surrounded by - these things - are just things that are unlikely, but I think should still be adressed.
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So, the context of these images is Teruko revealing "her secret"; You're constantly blaming yourself for the death of your parents and siblings. It doesn't matter that it's not your fault, just that you didn't go with them.
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(pls excuse the shitty quality.) She has to be either lying or MAYBE unsure about her secret. Here's why: 1. She had a conversation with Whit (and technically charles, but he was just listening in) about her family. She reveals that she's never known her parents and grew up in an orphanage. She did grow up with her biological brother, but he was adopted by another family when Teruko was five, and she says she doesn't remember him much.
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2. The wording of the secret is quite specific - You're constantly blaming yourself for the death of your parents and siblings. Like I've mentioned, she's never known her parents. Even if she *somehow* knew they were dead, why would she blame herself for it? I could see it maybe working in some way, but the next bit disproves it - SIBLINGS. Teruko has only mentioned having one sibling, and this wording is plural. This secret cannot be hers, she only has one brother. - To add on to this
2.5. Maybe one could argue that siblings and parents could be her friends/people she considered family in the orphanage she grew up in. However, the specific wording of parents and siblings, instead of just using the word "family", makes me think otherwise. - Okay, so let's dissect what this means. - I think if maybe she was unaware/TRULY thought that this was her secret, the only point that would support it is 2.5. Maybe she considered people she grew up with in the orphanage her "parents" or siblings", but its just not very likely. While I wouldn't be surprised if Teruko blew up an orphanage or something (/hj) , I think it's a stretch to say this secret is referring to that. - With that out the way, we come to one conclusion - Teruko is lying about secret. "Amari, we know that already, can we move on??????????" yeah yeah whatever i may have just wanted to rant about teruko. MOVING ON. So, what is Teruko's secret? It's pretty wildly agreed upon that Teruko's secret is the one regarding the killing game, which David recieved - "How could I even select what secret to be your motive? Just about everything you've done in your life is worth killing for. The killing game is all your fault."
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We think that this is Teruko's secret because: 1. She's the only one that fits it smh. /hj 2. The guy at the start of the prologue (who is probably xander but that is a WHOLE other theory you can find here ) mentions having to kill Teruko Tawaki (how DARE they) after talking about ending the killing game.
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My interpretation of this is that Teruko is the reason the killing game is actually happening, though I doubt she's aware of this/the mastermind (or she could be, idk??). A really good theory that I feel explains what I mean by Teruko causing the KG but not being the mastermind is the time loop theory which is linked here. (accirax i love you for this theory /p) Obviously, this lines up with "The killing game is your fault." 3. David gives her THE LOOK right after she "admits" her secret, which sort of maybe kind of implies that he knows she's lying, which he does, since he has the secret. - As for the remaining secret: Xander's secret (which we assume min recieved) is the one Teruko claimed to have:
"You're constantly blaming yourself for the death of your parents and siblings. It doesn't matter that it's not your fault, just that you didn't go with them." Why do I think this? 1. In Xander's bonus video, it is VERY heavily implied that he has survivor's guilt as well as outright confirmed his family is dead. Go check it out for the full context.
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2. Xander's secret message on the DRDT tumblr is the definition of survivors guilt. Really self explanatory, huh?
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3. XANDER ACTUALLY HAS MORE THAN 1 FUCKING SIBLING. anyway. okay, this is getting a little confusing to remember, so here: Killing game: Teruko's secret, recieved by David. Survivor's guilt: Xander's secret, recieved by Min. (all remaining secrets remain the same.) MOTIVE
So, why would Teruko lie about her secret? I mean, shouldn't she just point it out? And why didn't David point it out? - 1. Teruko is aware that her secret is the killing game one and is lying because she's the mastermind or something. We see her thoughts, so I really doubt it. To further disprove this theory: Teruko has stated like 15 times (/ex) that she doesn't know which secret is hers, due to her having too many secrets. So, yeah, pretty unlikely she knows which secret's hers. Discard this theory. -
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2. a) Teruko doesn't know her secret, but knows it's probably bad, and therefore doesn't want to share it, so she lied. Pretty straightforward, really. Now, for the theory that I think is most likely: 3. Teruko doesn't know which secret is hers, but she knows neither of her secrets are the ones left unrevealed. She knows somebody is lying about a secret - but she's come to the conclusion that secrets are irrelevant to the trial and murder, so she's lying about her secret to avoid everyone getting off track once again.
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We know that's she's accidentally led the trial in the wrong direction twice now (motive secrets, time of murder) Also, this is the most in character.
As for David: A. David knows her secret, but keeps it hidden in order to cause distrust and just generally fuck Teruko over. He plans to reveal it either post trial or in a future daily life. B. David knows her secret, but earlier, he and Teruko made a pact to keep it hidden. However, since he's a little bitch boy (/j), he's going to reveal it anyway, either post trial or in a future daily life. - Just to add on to this point ^ - I know Teruko's protag and we see her thoughts and all, but Kaede happened, so I don't think this is out of the question. - I think the most likely combination is point 3. and point A. : Teruko's lying about her secret to avoid the trial heading off topic. David isn't calling her out because he wants to use it in the future to throw suspicion onto Teruko and cause havoc.
SO. Let's recap! Secrets: Teruko: "How could I even select what secret to be your motive? Just about everything you've done in your life is worth killing for. The killing game is all your fault." Received by David. Xander: "You're constantly blaming yourself for the death of your parents and siblings. It doesn't matter that it's not your fault, just that you didn't go with them." Received by Min. Rest remain the same as canon. Why can't Teruko's secret be about her family? 1. Teruko never knew her parents, and never mentions them being dead. 2. Teruko hasn't seen her brother since she was 5, and she never mentions him being dead, just adopted. 3. The wording of the secret refers to siblingS, which is plural. Teruko has only one sibling. 4. The secret fits Xander much better - His secret quote is the defintion of survivors guilt, and his bonus episode heavily implies he has survivors guilt, and it is confirmed his family died in the same bonus episode. Why is Teruko's secret about the killing game?
• The guy at the start of the prologue mentions having to kill Teruko Tawaki after talking about ending the killing game. This implies Teruko is the cause of the killing game, whether on purpose or not. Motive for lying: Teruko doesn't know which secret is hers, but she knows neither of her secrets are the ones left unrevealed. She knows somebody is lying about a secret - but she's come to the conclusion that secrets are irrelevant to the trial and murder, so she's lying about her secret to avoid everyone getting off track once again. David knows her secret, but keeps it hidden in order to use it in the future to turn everyone against Teruko and just generally cause distrust in the group. He plans to reveal it either post trial or in a future daily life. **btw, just a fun afterthought - i think either whit or charles will eventually point out the conversation regarding teruko's unbringing and how it contradicts her secret - and david will use that opportunity to reveal teruko's secret. ANDDDD that's it! feel free to correct/add on any points you'd like. this took AGES but i had so much fun!!! i love you drdt. (ESPECIALLY TERUKO.)
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caitchercatlady · 3 days
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Not Having a Good Time
-Diasomnia Version
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Malleus Draconia
Were you to ask your friends what or how it is to be lonely, Malleus would be the first to know the answer, but he'd be the last to respond. (No, that has nothing to do with the last arrival or no show trope.) Malleus is not one to express his negative emotions. Most times, they don't bother him so often. However, when he sees you down and out, he can't help but want to do something about it. He finds you coming home from the main campus as usual, and as you two meet for your daily meeting, he confronts you about your usual behavior. Hesitantly, you explain the week's stresses to him, and it's had you bothered for a while. You feel ashamed that Malleus had to see it, so you had hoped to stargaze to help releax.
"Quite frankly, Child of Man, it appears we are both bothered this evening. Shall we take a stroll together as we indulge in the night air? I know a place to get a better view of the stars."
You two stick together as you walk around Night Raven's campus. If it were a kinda chilly evening on the island, Malleus will remove his large uniform jacket and wrap it around you to keep you warm. Whatever is making you the most comfortable, Malleus keeps his attention on the little things to make the comfort happen.
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Lilia Vanrouge
You were not in the mood for any out-of-nowhere surprises, but unfortunately for you, Lilia is all that. You were at dinner by yourself as all of your friends were elsewhere. You keep poking at your food with no motivation to eat any of it. Since he noticed you weren't exactly busy, Lilia thought it was the first time to say, "Hi." He classically upside-downs himself from the chandelier, which scares the living crud out of you, even more than usual. Lilia returns to ground and apologizes immediately. Since making you laugh or smile didn't work in that way, he questions what has gotten into you today. You weren't sure how to answer since he's the most senior of all of your classmates. Furthermore, after the scare you just had, you really didn't feel like talking about your problems. Lilia deeply sighs and says:
"Listen, Yuu, I don't know what's going on, and I believe it would help the both of us if you opened up a little. I won't tell anyone. This conversation is just between the two of us."
If Lilia says so, you let out your frustrations stronger than you usually would. It's a little frightening, even for you. However, this is Lilia you're talking to. A raise of voice is not going to scare this fae warrior. In fact, as you regain your breathing after ranting, Lila puts his hand on your head, ruffling your hair as he chuckles warmly. He reminds you that you don't need to keep your problems to yourself and that letting it out will set you the most free. He asks if you would like to talk about it some more while you eat, and you agree to the invitation. All this talking has made you more hungry, much to Lilia's delight.
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Silver
Riddle's surprise tutoring session not only ruined Ace and Deuce's private time, it also ruined the hangout that you had been planning with them for days. To say that you're pissed is an understatement. You three have been looking forward to letting all the class work go after a long week, but then, there it goes. You get a text from Silver, reading that he had been hearing from Riddle during Equestrian Club that he's not too thrilled with his freshmen about flunking the latest test, so he decided to hold a tutoring session to fix that problem. He figured that Ace and Deuce were a part of that session, and he apologizes for your plans being interfered.
If it's any help to you at all, he invites you out on a horse riding trip around campus. Silver asks for you to come at 4:45pm since that's when both Riddle and Sebek would be gone from the stables. You meet him not a minute earlier than that with Silver and his horse ready for riding. He helps you up, and you're already on your way. You tell Silver that you're surprised that he hasn't returned to his dorm yet for a nap after a busy school week. Silver replies:
"Riding helps me stay awake for the evening. Furthermore, I missed having time to myself, especially during club. You are not interfering at all if that is what you're afraid of. Let me show you the trail."
Silver commands his horse to head into the forest. The run of the horse kicks up the dirt on the forest path, making the smell of nature more pungent. The late afternoon breeze hits your face like a pillow fight, which is strangely comforting. A few minutes of riding later and the horse takes you and Silver to the cliffside at the edge of the woods. The skies were shimmering on top of the ocean's surface. It was a beautiful, relaxing sight. Silver helps you down from the horse as you go relax under a tree to watch the approaching sunset.
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Sebek Zigvolt
After the stressful school week you just beat, you wanted to just go home and relax, but you then remembered that you promised yourself to eat better. While at the same time, you really didn't have the energy to cook something time consuming. You're also late on receiving your allowance, so getting the expensive items is off the table. You decide to text your friends any ideas they had on cheap dinners to make. You hate to go into Sam's store without an idea in mind. However, you get a quick response from an unlikely source.
Sebek tells you to buy a bag of rice, a stalk of celery, and one chicken breast and immediately meet him back at Ramshackle. Sebek coming to you? That's a first, but you don't question it. You fetch the goods and you return to your dorm to see Sebek on the porch just as he said in the text. You don't have time to waste. He's got a recipe to teach you. You didn't even know Sebek knew how to cook, but he explains that if he, Silver, and Malleus wanted to eat good food for the rest of their lives, they had to teach themselves how to cook properly.
"You need to learn how to cook, right, human? Why are you standing so far? COME! You need teaching, so you can do this for yourself!"
Like a soldier in lineup, you come at Sebek's command as he instructs you verbally and physically how to make this rice, celery, and chicken dish. He also explains that it's easy to store for leftovers in the future, so if you don't feel like cooking, you have it right in your fridge to warm up and eat. It doesn't take long to cook either, so he helps prepare the plates and you two will enjoy the dish together. You promise that when you learn how to make this for yourself that you'll have Sebek come over to test it for you. He blushes and tries to brush it off as nothing, but he hasn't been invited much either, so maybe it wouldn't hurt as a compliment.
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TW: vent
I hate not having any control over my own life. I hate not being allowed to choose what I wear, what I do, and what I control. I hate being told to do the dishes everytime the sink is full, I hate being the family therapist, I hate not being allowed to relax without being shamed for it.
I tell my sisters no to something that will make a mess if I don't watch them closely, then being forced to give it to them anyways by THEIR father and still have to clean up THEIR mess.
I hate having to do the dishes when their are other people in the house who can do it, then being told the way I do it is wrong.
I hate being threatened to have my hair ripped out of my skull if I don't do what I'm told.
I hate being told I look TOO good in something by my mother and then those pants or that shirt get taken from me and put in my moms drawer.
I hate being told that only skanks wear cropped tops and not to walk around in only a bra and some shorts when I'm hot because my dad (step-dad) is in the house, or he has friends over that he could bring them in, but my mom wears crop tops, and she walks around in the store, at other peoples houses and other PUBLIC places in just a bra.
^But when I walk around OUR house, I'm asking for it
I hate wanting my hair cut, and eventually getting to the point where I want to cut it myself, but I can't. Wanna know why? Cause I'll get my ass beat for doing something I've been BEGGING my mom to do for the past year or so.
i hate being told the hair cut I want is too short, or too boy like, or it doesn't match my face, that it'll make me look ugly.
I hate being expected to let my mother rant to me, but get scolded if I try talking about my feeling with her.
I hate telling my mom things I wanna do, then her tell me no and that I have to do something because she had to.
I hate being told not to let people see me cry, not to let people see me weak, not to let them think I'm weak, then being told I should cry more, and let my feelings out when my dog gets killed.
I hate having to fake my tears so that my mom thinks I'm alright.
I hate that every time I sit down I'm automatically not doing anything, that I'm always so lazy, that I don't do anything.
I hate being the one who has to talk myself out of panic attacks, then when I tell my mom, she just tells me not to let myself.
"Why are you putting yourself the panic attack? Why are you letting it beat you?" She says
But god forbid if one of my sisters start having a panic attack. And I get it, their 5 and 7, yes worry about them, but I'm 15, I want my mom to about me like that.
I hate feeling like I have to fight my feelings.
I hate wanting to be a man just so I can feel some kind of control, and I still don't feel like I can control anything.
I hate the way my step-father has made me hate men, but I still want their love.
I hate feeling like I need to fight for love.
I hate the empty "I love you"'s that come out of my mom, and stepdads mouths.
I hate the fact that I still love my mom, despite the things she's put me through.
I hate feeling like I'm never enough, like if I'm of no use to anyone, then why should they love or care about me?
I hate feeling like everyone expects so highly of me, and then are significantly disappointed when they actually get to know me.
I hate not feeling much of anything besides anxiety, fear, and anger.
I hate feeling smaller than everyone else.
I hate having to create different personas for every person I meet, just so I can be liked.
I hate not being allowed to be myself.
I hate feeling like crap everytime I'm not comfortable with doing something, because if I'm of no use to you, why should you care for/about me?
I hate not being able to focus on one project, and then feeling terrible because I never finished something.
I hate feeling sorry for others more than I do myself.
I hate not knowing when my next meal will be.
I hate being shamed for not eating because "we have plenty of food."
I hate having issues with certain textures of food, and having to go hungry because I don't like what my mom fixed.
I hate not liking certain tastes, then being forced to eat it, because I'm tired of starving myself.
I hate feeling like I'm bothering everyone else because of my feelings.
I hate feeling bad for snapping at my sisters, when they didn't even do anything wrong.
I hate being shamed for how little I eat, and how much I sleep.
I hate how I never get a break.
I hate getting shamed for taking a break.
I hate how my mom and step dad don't care about my hobbies unless it makes money that they can emotionally manipulate me into giving them.
I hate feeling like I can't trust anyone.
I hate losing weight, but still looking fat.
I hate wishing I had more things wrong with me, just so I feel like I have a reason to complain.
But most importantly...
I hate myself
And I'm sorry if you actually read all of this. You shouldn't have to listen to some stranger that you don't even truly know on the internet. Because you don't know me, no one knows me. They know a carefully designed version of me that was made just for them.
@puppet200 @purpleeggyboi @th3-r4t-48 @zeroisreallygood @im-a-simp898 @luciluck2046 @evry1h8s-me @aflairforthemelodramaticc @caretaleandotherstuff
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dr-spectre · 2 days
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RANT POST ABOUT CALLIE AHEAD!!!
I need to get some old and built up feelings out of my chest before i explode into a trillion pieces, if you do not wish to see a LONG rambling about me getting mad and rageful about this important character to me then by all means skip over and have a good rest of your day or night!
If you can handle me getting a bit pissed off and mean then keep on reading!!
This will also be a VERY LONG POST!!! Because I have a lot to rant about. Some of it i have talked about before many times but i need to talk about them... Again..
So anyways. If you wanna move on, that's okay, if you wanna stick around? That's all good as well!!! I highly HIGHLY encourage you to read all that I have to say. Okay? Thank you!
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You know, as someone who has put in a lot of time and research into Hypno Callie and the others. What I've come to notice in media is that people tend to use the words mind control, brainwashing, hypnosis, influence, indoctrination, corruption, all interchangeably despite each word having vastly different meanings and connotations and effects.
Brainwashing has been used as an incorrect word to describe a lot of these kinds of plots in TV, movies, games, etc. and it really bugs me personally. Like, if you see something as clearly hypnosis, they explain that it is hypnosis and there is a hypnotic element at play here, you cannot just slap the word brainwashing onto it. It's like if I called a mango an apple you know? Or if I showed you a squid and you called it an octopus and you were REALLY adamant that it's an octopus.
Another example, if there's mind controlled zombies that are being controlled by aliens or something, slapping the word hypnotised or brainwashing onto that scenario is stupid because they clearly explained it in the story with evidence that it's straight up direct mind control and nothing else.
This doesn't just to apply to Splatoon btw, this annoyance goes for every other time a "mind control" plot has occurred in fiction.
I don't wanna sound rude here, I really don't! But guys, do you realise that we have this cool thing all across the world called a language? And languages have words in them!!!! And words have meanings in them that are brains understand and interpret!?
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If I say the word "fluffy" what do you think of? "Fluff, fur, cute, huggable, adorable." You think of cute fluffy things, yeah?
If I say the word "hypnosis" what do you think of? A trance like state, a weird altered state of consciousness, maybe even a weird sleep/flow state?
If I say the word "brainwashed" what do you think of? Cults, militarily, experiments, evil, etc.
You guys see why I take issue? You guys see why I am extremely picky and laser focused on people's word choices when it comes to Callie and what happened? You guys see why I get really angry when people who do fuck tons of research into the events of Splatoon forget that languages exist and fail to see things past a fucking Wikipedia article?!? Is it seriously THAT hard for some people to say hypnotised?
I don't even necessarily blame most people for the words that they use, they don't know any better! And you know what? That's okay! I don't wanna get mad at SOME people since that word has been used incorrectly in media for a long ass time. And you wanna know another reason why i don't blame the casual fan or someone not in the know that much too? Because even the SPLATOON DEVELOPERS use brainwashing to describe Callie which is just... from my research and posts, incorrect.
I have yet to find a single person who can confidently explain to me that Callie was actually brainwashed and provide evidence to me to prove their points. Cause all I see is people just saying that "oh, a wiki and an artbook said so, so it must be true." Instead of looking at the actual game and looking at Hypno Callie's personality, behaviour, actions, etc. and comparing them to regular Callie.
Why do you think 99% of people call her Hypno Callie? Like there's a reason as to why her name is that in most circles... Have you ever talked to someone who calls her brainwashed Callie? Probably not...
God... I'm really sorry if i come off as some gatekeeping fan or elitist snob or some shit. I'm not trying to be and i don't wanna be like that. I wanna educate people, make people think of a different perspective and make people think a little more you know?
I'm just getting tired of it all... It affects how I see Hypno Callie and the events of Splatoon 2. I can't enjoy it when some people throw out these certain words, and it makes me feel so sad and terrible. And not in an engaging way, just a sadness that fucking stings my chest and I'm SO SICK OF IT!!!!!
I just despise this notion in the Splatoon community, Inkipedia, YouTube videos, social media and official sources that Callie was kidnapped out of the blue when she was alone and Octavio forced the shades onto her, brainwashing her and removing her memories. I hate it so much. It's something that truly fills me with great sadness and pain and pure anger. Callie is a comfort character of mine and to hear that scenario for her in official canon is just... no. I can't accept it. I refuse to accept such a vile and awful thing. It makes the Octarians more evil and way less sympathetic that way too, it makes DJ Octavio's eventual redemption make less sense because in one game he's this fucking monster and the next he's like "Hey guys imma help you out!" It makes his character incredibly inconsistent at that point.
it makes his appearance with Cuttlefish at the Grand Fest feel less satisfying because there this huge black spot on his character from Splatoon 2 where he apparently did something truly evil and unredeemable. Why would Cuttlefish be okay with standing next to a man who """kidnapped and brainwashed"""" his grand daughter?! I don't care about their history together, if i was Cuttlefish and I heard about that kind of event for my grand daughter, I WOULD NEVER FORGIVE OCTAVIO!!!
Hypnosis by nature is less evil and has more nuance and agency for Callie and the Octarians. Sure it's still fucking bad but not as extreme and dark as brainwashing is. The two terms are so vastly different and using either word willy-nilly is extremely annoying and frustrating to me.
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Hypnosis ≠ brainwashing and you cannot prove to me otherwise. You literally cannot mind control someone with hypnosis, that's not how it works. They are so opposite of each other it's actually insane. I DON'T GET WHY PEOPLE USE THEM INTERCHANGEABLY ALL THE FUCKING TIME?!?! WHY?!?!!? Is it a lack of knowledge?!? Lack of caring?! Is it because of how hypnosis is portrayed?!?!
And the whole "Callie was kidnapped/abducted." My god... Do people understand what words are coming out of their fucking mouths?
Callie was more than willing to join the Octarians and she said to them "okay fine I'll hear you out." That is not KIDNAPPING!!!!!!!!!! THAT STATEMENT MADE BY CALLIE GOES AGAINST THE DEFINITION OF THE WORD!!!!
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I don't know why they say this in some official sources either, i don't know why Inkipedia lists it on their pages. i don't know why fans keep wanting to push this idea that Callie was kidnapped, is it because an artbook said so and nothing in the game? I don't know why timeline explainers and people who do a fuck ton of research into Splatoon push it too. If Callie was kidnapped you figure she would mention it. But she doesn't!!!! Marie does and says she was brainwashed in the North American (NoA) localization, but of course she would think that and from her perspective she would figure that is the case from her limited knowledge of what happened to Callie.
God I just.... I hate it when people say Callie was brainwashed. I fucking despise it. It makes me so violently angry and upset and EVERYONE WHO HAS A LOUD VOICE IN THE COMMUNITY SAYS IT!!!
This doesn't even impact just Callie. It impacts the entirety of the Octarians as a species and DJ Octavio too. I LIKE DJ OCTAVIO!! I THINK HE WAS FUNNY IN SPLATOON 1! I like his role in Splatoon 3 and how he redeems himself and how he appeared in the Grand Festival with Cuttlefish. It ties back to before the Great Turf War when the Inklings and Octarians were on good terms and now finally that peace is back....
But this enjoyment... this appreciation of his character growth gets ruined because of the shit Nintendo did and what the fanbase did when Splatoon 2 rolled around... I can't enjoy Octavio as a character anymore because of the notion that Callie was brainwashed by him.
I can't look at his inkipedia page because IN THE FIRST PARAGRAPH THEY SAY HE BRAINWASHED HER!!!!
And don't you EVEN MENTION the line "I remixed Callie's brain!" My brother in Christ, that is not only a call back to a line he said in the final boss of Splatoon 1, but it's also because DJ Octavio is a.. idk... DJ!!!! A DISC JOCKEY!!!! In the NoA version of Splatoon, Octavio's personality is very loud and in your face, compared to his more sinister and intense personality in the European and original Japanese versions. This serious personality was only given to Octavio finally in the NOA version of Splatoon 3 ROTM where his personality actually matches his Japanese and European versions from Splatoon 1 and 2.
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Octavio says puns and musical terms to describe shit in the NoA versions of Splatoon 1 and 2. Remixing by definition is taking a song and altering it to make something new. What is Hypno Callie? A REMIX OF CALLIE!!!! It's Callie but she's more aggressive, emotional and impulsive. And you know where we've seen this remix of Callie before? IN SPLATOON 1!!!! IN THE SPLATFEST DIALOGUE!!!!
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Octavio didn't literally mean that he "remixed her brain." via actual brain, washing. He just means that he gave Callie a new twist, and Callie in her hypnotic state was like "okay fine I'll hear you out."
Octavio hypnotising Callie who wanted to help the Octarians anyways out of her own free will, planting suggestions into her head that SHE HERSELF ACCEPTED AS DURING HYPNOSIS, SUGGESTIONS GIVEN CANNOT GO AGAINST THE PERSON'S MORALS AND IDEOLOGIES!!! So that Callie would be more likely to stay in Octo Canyon and not decide to suddenly run off as Callie was under a lot of mental distress and emotion from her busy and lonely life, and allowing Callie to put her influence onto Octo Canyon to help his people and boost motivation, fits more in line with Splatoon as a series and Octavio as a character than the whole "he brainwashed Callie" bullshit that has plagued the internet for 7 years and continuing. Why do you think Callie is so chill to see DJ Octavio come back in Splatoon 3 huh? Why do you think she misses shaven Octarians in ROTM? Why do you think she calls Octarians cute? Hmm... I WONDER WHY?!?!?!
Is Octavio still bad? Yes! Did he use Callie to benefit his people? YES!!!! Was Octavio being manipulative and selfish? FUCK YES!!! HE'S THE ANTAGONIST!!!! I AM NOT RESOLVING THAT MAN OF BLAME!!!! DONT GET MY WORDS TWISTED!!! HE'S STILL BAD! just not unredeemable... because once you say he brainwashed someone and forcefully removed Callie's memories like a pure evil monster, then you have a character who is pretty much unredeemable at that point. You have made him cross a line that he can't turn back from. You implanted these disgusting and disturbingly sexual suggestions about Octavio and Callie and her outfit. Why the FUCK do you want that? Why?! Why do you wanna even suggest the idea that Callie was forced to wear skimpy clothing against her consent and knowledge? Do you know how fucking DISGUSTING AND EVIL THAT IS?!?!?! FOR A SERIES SUCH AS SPLATOON?!?!?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA ON WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO FUCKING IMPLY HERE?!?!?!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?!?! GOD!!!! WHY DO YOU WANT THESE AWFUL THINGS DONE TO CALLIE AGAINST HER KNOWLEDGE AND CONSENT IN THE MAIN TIMELINE!!??!?!?!?!! For AUs I get it, it's your right as a fan to make fanfiction and explore darker topics. I personally won't read it but I won't EVER stop someone from making a darker AU. It has its place in the community and I 100% respect it with all of my heart. I truly respect those who make dark AUs and darker takes on Splatoon because I'm sure it's fun and interesting for some people. To each their own! I actually like hearing my friends talk about Fuzzy AUs and stuff like that, given the time and place, darker toned AUs are something that i find really interesting but I'm not super duper in love with them.
But don't you DARE put these disgusting and sexual undertones about Callie and the Octarians in the main canon. Fuck off. Don't you even try and suggest that the Octarians are this purely evil race that forced Callie into a revealing outfit while she was completely unaware and it was against her consent. And that they just grabbed her... god... Jesus Christ man. Fuck. I hate thinking about that so much dude.
This type of scenario that people push did NOT happen.
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THIS DID!
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I'm so angry. I'm so sorry for this giant humongous rant. I care a lot about Callie. I only want the best for her. I only want a more engaging and more in-depth take on Splatoon 2. I want to enjoy Tidal Rush, I want to enjoy Spicy Calamari Inkantation, I want to enjoy Fresh Start, I want to enjoy the Bomb Rush Blush remix like how i enjoy Unconscience by Marina Agitando. I want to enjoy Hypno Callie in general, BUT SOMETIMES I JUST CANT AND I GET SO SAD AND MY CHEST HURTS!!!! This has been going on FOR SOOO LONGGG!!
I keep making all these posts about Callie because I still see that kind of bullshit being thrown around. Imagine having a perspective on a character you really love and you try and hold on to it. But everyone else around is pushing that perspective down and you feel so sad and stupid and ridiculous... And so your only option left is to scream and bark and yell....
I am literally gonna keep ranting until I can see the word "brainwashed" in media without having a fucking heart attack. I wanna just be able to enjoy Callie's arc and see it for what it truly is...
A story about two cousins drifting apart... Callie becoming so popular and famous... and lonely... that she became so mentally distraught and overthought everything. She did something incredibly irrational. She went to Octavio and the Octarians. Octavio knows that Callie can be a huge help to him after his loss and so he enlisted her help. And she just said, "okay, fine."
She was given hypnotic shades by Octavio in order to keep her more under control as she was ridden with mental illness and could leave Octo Canyon at any point with her overthinking. But he did NOT put her under total control and brainwash her, he needed Callie's influence for the Octarians, to decorate bases and add her touch into their music. The Octarians became happy and more motivated then ever. He didn't need a drone to help him. He needed, CALLIE.
However... Callie, in the canyon, lost herself, she gave into bitterness, hatred, sadness, anger... She knows who she is, but her memory is so cloudy and muffled by emotion and the shades... She needs help... Proper. Help. You can hear it in the songs found within the Octo Canyon, her reversed vocals sound so sad and deeply emotional...
When Marie arrives, Callie is mad at her, she wants nothing to do with her. But when Marie shoots the shades off of her, Callie is still dazed, upset, emotional, sick, she dances and continues to sing back against Marie's desperate words and pleas... Marie only wants to repair their broken relationship and lend out a hand to her cousin who needs to see the light....
But, when that heavenly melody echoed in that stadium, it was like a rushing tide of memories and feelings flooded into Callie. All of her and Marie's time performing, hosting news, celebrating Splatfests, and arriving to Inkopolis for the first time, came back to her and dispelled the darkness in her heart.
Callie heard the melody and went "wait... This isn't me! What am i doing!? YEAH! I REMEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
And well... The rest is history, the pair healed their relationship over the course of a few years and are stronger than ever.
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They fulfilled their fresh start, they helped redeem an angry vengeful man from the past, they inspired the present with Off the Hook, and they planted the seeds for the future in Deep Cut.
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and they won the Grand Festival... TOGETHER!
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Well... At least that's MY interpretation on things ;). And i want my interpretation to be held strong in my head... I'm tired of getting chest pains man... I'm tired of feeling this sadness and pain... I'm tired of going on Inkipedia and seeing that FUCKING word. I'm tired of being scared to watch YouTube videos focusing on lore and the story of Splatoon because deep down i KNOW they will say that word that has such fucking horrible connotations and meaning behind it...
Anyways. I think I'm done. I think I'm just in a huge ranting mode and I had to get it out, my autism was really acting up and i wanted to vomit this stuff out of me. I hope you guys feel what I'm feeling and if you have a character who you feel similar towards, let me know! Let the anger out. Okay?
Have a Callie for sticking around and actually reading. You're amazing.
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cokoweee · 2 days
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Heavens to Betsy I’ve been meaning to go on this rant forever but I keep forgetting for some reason
Quick disclaimer- I’m not analyzing your comic at all, I just notice little accuracies that make me happy.
~
Ok coming from a psychology major student, your description of PTSD and mental health issues is actually pretty dang good. Idk if it was intentionally researched or not but there’s like a ton of stuff that’s consistent with real life trauma and it’s quite frankly impressive
Again not sure if this was intentional or not but the thing on his back reminds me so much of old school electroshock therapy which I adore bc
A: it causes confusion and memory loss which you’ve shown and
B: kinda implies that maybe he did his own research when deciding how to deal with everything or
C: again is incredibly accurate in the fact that most trauma patients continuously seek pain out, and in turn report feelings of extreme boredom and numbness when not actively experiencing pain or reliving trauma. In his case going borderline catatonic when he’s not freaking out.
On the topic of “freaking out” a lack or decrease in serotonin leads to a more reactive and intense episodes in PTSD. Or, because the little guy is like mega depressed coz of the whole situation, he gets way more intense and violent episodes that someone who was on like Prozac. And would tend to be more on edge and sensitive to triggers.
Then there’s his family. For some background, there’s a part of your brain called the amygdala. It typically works to control basic emotions, but responds very well to fear. In traumatic experiences, it pairs with the hippocampus (the memory center of the brain) to store vivid and occasionally sensory memories.
When a memory trigger is provoked and brought back into consciousness, it actually changes slightly depending on the context of which it recalled. Those memories are changed to fit how we make sense of them. So if he feels guilty for his brothers death, then his memories will reflect it whether or not it’s actually true.
Essentially, him having his brothers showing up all the time (looking the way they do) is really bad for him on multiple levels, and not just because they’re triggering visually. They’re like actually impeding his ability to recover by keeping him in an aggressive form of already intense fight or flight that comes from trauma.
On a happier note, one of the best ways to improve is to establish and nurture caring relationships. Awww
Aight ima stop here so I don’t bore you to death with random psych facts, but like kudos to you my dude because I could go on forever about some of the stuff in there
Uh yeah
-writing anon 🤡
WRITING ANON? SLAPPING OUT ANALYSISSISIS AND SHIT?
Bein real I dont do much research on shit even tho I should. I just go off what I’ve seen/ learned throughout the years. It’s always good to hear I’m doin ahit right tho!
Lowkey right with the shock tho. Or high key lol. Seeking pain there’s other ways people do it but mmm somehow this seemed the tamest way. Oh writing anon u silly lil saltine cracker
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hanniesluvr · 6 hours
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drunk in love | yjh
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NSFW | MDNI!!
genre: friends -> fwb -> lovers, angst, smut, fluff
pairing: yoon jeonghan x fem!reader
WC: 6.7k
cw: drinking, angry jeonghan bc i said so, smut, exhibitionism pretty much, spanking, degradation (he calls you a "slut" and "whore" a couple times :3), unprotected sex, creampie, choking, cucking (poor josh but also he had it coming), pet names ("pretty girl", "baby", and "princess"), oral (f rec), little bit of butt stuff, mc has a LOT of internal thoughts/ dialog lol, possessive jeonghan, possessive jeonghan, and possessive jeonghan. lmk if i missed anything !!
synopsis: when a game of truth, dare, or drink with the boys turns to shit (thanks to hoshi and josh), jeonghan has no choice but to prove himself to be the best dick you've ever had ): (SPOILER: he is. oh he most definitely IS the best dick you've ever had)
! nsfw content below the cut. mdni !
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you’ve known the boys for years.
you’d met mingyu back in your senior year of highschool. both of you being on the friendly, outgoing side of introversion, he knew he had to introduce you to his rather large group of friends once you guys graduated.
and wow was your life was never the same.
you had a group of down to earth boys (men) who all looked after you like no one else had. a friend group that people could only ever dream of. no one got upset if you chose to hang out with only one of them for a day, rather than the whole group. if you wanted to go out clubbing with your girlfriends, they all knew you had 13 body guard options to call before heading out. and the best part, your best friend of the group might as well be a professional chef. you never had to worry about going hungry or even cooking as long as you had mingyu around.
other than mingyu, you ended up gravitating toward minghao, jihoon, seungcheol, and jeonghan. almost entirely separate, but sometimes you, seungcheol, and jeonghan would go out on a weeknight for some 2am ihop.
the last thing you or anyone else had expected however, was for you and jeonghan to develop a “situationship” of sorts together.
over the last couple months, you both started developing what you thought were strictly sexual feelings toward each other. now, you weren’t so sure. you knew your feelings were turning into something far deeper than just lust, but you quickly tried to shut them down in fear of ruining your initial friendship with him. tried to. you also were terrified to face those feelings because… you had no idea how he felt. other than the occasional secret or rant that he needed to share with you that he couldn’t share with the boys, jeonghan was pretty emotionally reserved. you had NO idea how he actually felt about you beyond friendly and horny.
until that night.
-
truth, dare, or drink was a game that you played with the boys every once in awhile when you guys were feeling frisky. normally, it came to one of your brains once you guys had already been drinking through the night.
in tonight’s game, jeonghan thought it’d be funny to dare jihoon to lean over and give you a kiss. childish. so childish. you could tell he just didn’t have any better idea in his buzzed brain.
“awww don’t be a pussy, jihoon!” jeonghan taunted him. he was leaning backward due to you being sandwiched between the two boys at the table, jihoon to your left, jeonghan to your right.
“nah i’m not touching her, hannie. you’re funny” jihoon chuckled, throwing back the clear liquid.
“heyyyy rude!” you pouted, crossing your arms playfully, a smile threatening to pull at your mouth.
“tsss…” jihoon put down the shot glass. “jeonghan would kill me, y/n” he chuckled. then, “ow!” he yelled, still laughing.
you whipped your head to jeonghan who was… glaring at jihoon? he’d smacked him upside the head and you had no idea why. you thought jihoon making that comment was just to poke fun at the fact that everyone knew you and jeonghan were basically fuck buddies. however, jeonghan didn’t find it very funny for whatever reason. you playfully pushed his face telling him to lighten up. to that he faintly smiled before putting his elbows on the table and lacing his fingers together in front of his face. he looked like a cartoon villain. what was he so upset about?
“anyways…” you were the next to talk. “soonyoung! your turn!” you enthused leaning back in your seat to look at the boy to the right of jeonghan.
soonyoung jumped out of his seat before nearly screaming, “Y/N!”
“oh fuck.” jihoon mumbled looking into his lap. you broke eye contact with soonyoung to look at jihoon in confusion.
“i’m so sorry to do this.” you looked back up at soonyoung. what the fuck is going on?
“man i swear, if you don’t keep your mouth shut,” jihoon stood up from his chair.
“what? i have to ask!”
“no, no you don’t.” jihoon’s voice was threateningly low, and you now thought you had a hunch as to what’s about to happen. your heart started to race.
“is it true that you and hoon hooked up at last year’s halloween party?!”
“i’m gonna beat your fucking ass-“
you pushed your chair out blocking jihoon’s path before he could follow through. you shot your arm out for good measure to make sure he didn’t try to pass you. he silently turned around and sat back in his chair.
when you turned back around to face soonyoung, you couldn’t help but feel jeonghan’s eyes burning holes into you along with everyone else’s.
“dude, why?” you asked in a low tone.
“whaaaat the game was getting boring! i had to spice things up a bit,” he teased putting a hand on his hip before pointing his finger in your face over jeonghan’s head. “now answer the question or take a shot missy. either way, we’ll know the answer.”
you glared at him intensely sitting back down in your chair and quietly saying “it’s true,” before reaching for the shot in front of you and slamming it anyways. you needed it. you felt jeonghan’s eyes on the side of your face and you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. you just locked eyes with mingyu across the table, knowing that even with his shock, his gaze would comfort you nonetheless. it worked. his face quickly went from a “what the fuck?” expression to a reassuring “we’ll talk about this later” look.
“ahem”
no.
“that’s interesting,” josh said from the head of the table.
“josh!” you, seungcheol and mingyu yelled at the same time. they also knew what joshua had to have been thinking, and didn’t want you to endure more embarrassment.
“ i thought i was your only little secret,” he said in a condescending tone, crossing his arms.
your face was hot. “it happened years ago josh!” you were yelling from your seat. “and we haven’t talked about it since! why are you even bringing it up? who cares!”
SLAM! you flinched. jeonghan had punched the table.
“i fucking do!” he yelled shooting up from his chair. “while we’re here,” his voice dropped, placing his palms on the table, leaning forward glancing at everyone. “would anyone else like to confess to fucking y/n?”
“jeonghan,” you reached your hand up to rest on his arm and you felt his muscles stiffen.
“it’s not like that,” jihoon followed up, trying to reassure him. jeonghan wouldn’t look at him. “it was over a year ago. it wasn’t important then, and it’s not important now.”
“it still fucking happened,” he looked over his shoulder down at you. “and you didn’t tell me about it.” his tone was laced with what could only be described as anguish.
“doesn’t seem like she’s told anyone,” josh pettily adds before taking a sip of whatever drink he’d made for himself before the game started.
now you were the one to punch the table but you didn’t stand up. “dammit josh! jihoon and i both agreed we’d pretend like it never happened. it was a mistake. and it happened years after you and i hooked up so why would i tell you out of everyone?! i didn’t even tell mingyu!” you were shaking in your seat. your breath rapid as you were hitting the peak of your anger induced high. shitfaced josh didn’t know when to stop. sober josh would never even slightly push anyone’s buttons the way drunk josh was vigorously punching yours right now (and jeonghan’s).
“well it seems you told mingyu and cheol about us, so what’s the reason for that? was i too good to forget?”
before jeonghan could even start to move toward him you stood up, forcefully holding him back by his shoulder. he froze. “josh…” you started, still keeping your hand on jeonghan to make sure he didn’t try anything. “i told them because i was fucking humiliated, and couldn’t believe that i fucked you.” you spat. “is that what you wanted to hear?” you could’ve sworn in that moment, all of jeonghan’s tension shifted to josh because as jeonghan found his way back into his chair, josh stood up. it didn’t phase you in the slightest.
“you’re fucking lying, y/n. i had to have been the best you ever-”
“fucking watch yourself man,” seungcheol warned, also getting out of his seat to defend you and jeonghan, his best friend.
“oh what? did you fuck her too?”
“that’s it!” jeonghan shot back out of his chair charging toward him.
luckily seungcheol was at the chair right next to josh and managed to get to him before jeonghan, stepping in front of him as some sort of human shield. jeonghan stopped in his tracks, mere inches away from his best friend.
“cheol, move.” he growled.
“walk away jeonghan.” seungcheol tried to calm him down.
“i’m not walking the fuck away. move or i’ll move you myself.”
“hannie, it’s not worth it,” you chimed in, making your way to him. “he [josh] isn’t worth it. what we did isn’t worth it.” joshua scoffed at your comment. you tried to ignore him, knowing that if sober josh was in there somewhere, he was telling his drunk self to just shut the fuck up and go along with all of it. although you really were ashamed of that hookup. you guys were like 19 at the time after all.
“look,” jeonghan turns around to face you. “jihoon? i get it. don’t ask me how or why, but it’s not much of a shock to me. i can suck it up over that.” he pointed his arm out behind him straight at josh, still looking at you. “but him? fucking joshua?” his voice nearly breaking at the end.
“what the fuck is that supposed to mean?” josh mumbled.
you and jeonghan ignored him.
“it happened years ago hannie.” it suddenly dawned on you how intense this simple game of truth or dare had turned. as you and jeonghan stared at each other in silence, everyone else waiting for what was gonna happen next, you had a million thoughts running through your mind. why does he care so much ? is it because josh is one of his best friends and he can’t believe josh didn’t tell him? is he… jealous? no. maybe?
it was almost like jeonghan could hear the questions in your head. his face turned into something small and ashamed as he slowly lowered his head looking down at the ground. one last thought was about to run through your head. is he like in lo-
then seungkwan broke the silence, clearing his throat. you both whipped your heads to the other end of the table. everyone else still staring at the two of you. “why don’t we just continue the game. no more stupid bullshit, soonyoung.”
you took a deep breath. “i think i like the sound of that boo,” you held your hand out for jeonghan to take and he did so hesitantly. not until the two of you were fully seated did seungcheol make his way back to his seat. everyone’s eyes moved to josh still standing at the end of table… waiting for him to sit.
“josh?” mingyu spoke up. it was almost like he snapped him out of a trance.
“yeah! yeah let’s keep playing,” he blurted sitting back down.
“alright well i guess it’s my turn then,” seungcheol nervously chuckled. “jun! i dare you to take a shot!”
“what?” jun laughed. collectively the tension in the room withered away as everyone started laughing softly, giving seungcheol confused looks, except for josh. he just sat, straight faced.
“yeah, you’ve barely drank tonight! cmon! either way you have to take a shot soooo…” seokmin added.
“okay okay,” jun smiled while leaning over the table for the bottle.
once he took the shot, everyone carefully looked to joshua who was clearly faking his enthusiasm now. “okay well… i gotta go with y/n!” he said in such a deceptively happy tone, you knew he wasn’t over what had just finally ended for you and literally everyone else at the table.
vernon spoke up for the first time since his last turn probably 15 minutes ago, “please don’t be a dick dude.” he casually took a sip of his drink.
“don’t worry, don’t worryyyy. i just gotta ask her something.”
you watched jeonghan’s face as he stared at his drink in front of him. his jaw was clenched so tight you thought he might shatter his teeth. you put your hand on his thigh under the table to silently tell him you wish josh would shut up just as bad as he did. “why don’t you just leave her alone man?” jeonghan asked calmly not looking away from his glass.
“well i would but there’s just this burning question i have in my head that i can’t shake,” josh was slurring a bit but still thinking about his next words wisely. “y/n,” he was staring into your soul, and you did the same to him, not backing down. “was i not the best you’ve ever had?”
“no,” you immediately answered. “no you weren’t. why do you think i never mentioned it again?” jeonghan smiled to himself looking down in his lap, grabbing your hand that was on his thigh. the gesture was oddly sweet in this bitter situation.
“oh? well then who was the best hm?” josh followed up.
“oh, jeonghan! hands down,” you didn’t even hesitate. his grip on your hand tightened, the grin on his face widening as his eyes stayed locked in his lap. you even heard jihoon softly chuckle behind you.
“bullshit,” josh accused. jeonghan quickly looked up at him, tilting his head ever so slightly. “no way he’s giving it to you better than i did.”
after that comment, everyone collectively started yelling at him to just go to sleep or leave the game, anything to get him to stop his petty remarks. including you. you were still yelling when jeonghan turned to you, cupping your face, “shut the fuck up,” he whispered before grabbing your wrist and forcefully pulling you away from the table. he stopped at the end by josh’s chair.
“fine!” jeonghan exclaimed, silencing everyone. he then leaned in to josh’s ear, “i’ll just let you hear how much better im giving it to her.” and with that jeonghan was dragging you up the stairs at an aggressive pace, not even giving anyone the opportunity to respond.
once you reached the top of the stair case he spun you around in front of him so you were walking backwards. you passed the banister as he started taking off your shirt. your bare chest on display for anyone to see had they looked up from the table down below. you couldn’t care less.
“kiss me,” you whimpered trying not to stumble backward as he’s fondling with the button of your pants. he obeyed, eagerly crashing his lips into yours as you both neared his room. he started turning you to the left and you knew you’d reached your destination. he didn’t push you all the way into his room though.
“if it gets to be too much say ‘stop’,” he breathed before pushing you against his open door and dropping to his knees, immediately pulling your pants down. you stepped out of them without a second thought. is he just gonna fuck me against his open bedroom door?
“fuck!” you gasped out as he dove in after your clothed core. i guess the answer is yes.
“jesus y/n,” he growled moving your underwear to the side. “you’re fucking soaked already,” he continued to lap at your pussy, the annoying fabric now out of the way.
“mmm liked you getting m-mad,” you whispered, not wanting the others to hear your confession. you knew it sounded pathetic.
jeonghan groaned into you in response. you liked him fuming over the thought of someone else fucking you better than he did? if his dick wasn’t pushing to break free from his sweats before, it sure was now.
“fuck, you’re such a slut y/n,” he slurred, now grabbing at your underwear, ripping it on each side down the seams and throwing them right across the hall into josh’s open room.
“hannie what the fuck?” you bemoaned. you’d just bought the lacy fabric the other day for him to admire, not ruin. the fact that he threw them in josh’s room couldn’t be less of a concern to you right now.
he stood up putting his hand around your neck, firmly pressing you against the door. “what?” he asked innocently, taunting you before crashing his lips back into yours. you moaned into the kiss, desperate for him to touch you again.
as if he’d read your mind, he used his free hand to pull down the waistband of his sweats, finally letting his dick breathe. he put his cock in between your legs, basically fucking your thighs. the subtle friction against your clit was enough to send you spiraling. you were over his teasing and torture.
“hannie, please,” you panted.
“please what?” he mocked, still rutting against the heat between your legs.
“please fuck me,” you whined.
it wasn’t good enough for him. “what? i’m sorry baby,” baby? “i don’t think josh can hear you.”
you were suddenly reminded of the circumstances surrounding the current situation you were in. you felt yourself turn beet red.
“remember, you can tell me to stop,” he whispered to you, noticing your complexion.
“no, no don’t stop,” you begged.
he smiled maniacally. “okay. so again, i don’t think josh could hear what you said,” his voice rising in the second half.
“please jeonghan, please fuck me. please!” you cried, knowing damn well that josh and unfortunately, everyone else could hear your desperate words.
“such a good little whore for me aren’t you?” his grip on your neck tightened, his other hand grabbing his cock, lining himself up with your entrance. you lifted your leg to give him easier access.
he pushed past your folds and you winced at the slight stretch, but you fit jeonghan like a glove. ever since the first time you guys had sex it almost felt like you were… made for each other in a way.
“you okay?” he nearly wheezed, trying to hold himself back from going completely animalistic on you in this moment. wanting to claim you as his for everyone to hear… for josh to hear.
fuck josh…
he barely let you nod your head before snapping his hips, thrusting his cock into you so fast you swear you saw stars. the squeal that escaped your throat was something of pure filth and you knew that by this point, josh had to have felt like a fucking idiot for everything he said.
jeonghan moved his hands to your thighs, hoisting you up, your back still flat against his door, his cock buried deep inside you. “i’m going to absolutely ruin you and your pretty little pussy,” he fucked himself deeper into you if that was even possible, “not even gonna be able to walk back down these stairs without my help,” he panted.
“mmmph hannie~” were your last whimpering words before he started brutally fucking himself in and out of your sopping cunt. you were a blubbering mess, whining and crying out like a bitch in heat.
“dammit y/n how are you always this t-tight,” jeonghan groaned before swallowing your sounds in a sloppy, wet kiss. his tongue desperately darted into your mouth to dance with yours and you were more than willing to let it in. your tongues danced together not so elegantly as his dick was thrusting into you with determination, his door thudding against the wall to the rhythm he’d set, and you moaning uncontrollably into his mouth.
you started to wonder what everyone downstairs was doing. especially josh.
“mmm wait wait wait hannie wait,” you put your hands on his shoulders putting enough distance between your bodies just to speak.
“i-i feel bad for everyone downstairs. should we keep doing this?” you whispered, giggling a little as the gravity of the situation really started weighing on you.
“i really don’t give a fuck about everyone downstairs.” he kissed you deeply. “unless it really makes you uncomfortable, then we’ll stop.”
“i’m not really uncomfortable just… feel bad.”
“well don’t. and remember how this all started?”
he was right.
“you’re right,” you threw your arms around his neck, attacking his lips with your own, taking control of the situation.
he let your legs down, now gripping your waist, pulling your naked body closer to him. you spun the two of you around so he was against the door. you pulled away from your kiss to lift his shirt over his head and throw it into his room. you then dropped to your knees, almost mirroring his actions from earlier. you pulled his sweats and underwear down to his ankles and he kicked them off to the side.
“fuck hannie,” you moaned, clenched around nothing as you were eye level with his cock. jeonghan could’ve came just at the sight of you gawking over his dick beneath him.
“y/n as much as i’d love to feel your mouth around me, i need to fuck you properly and i need to do it now,” he cooed cupping your face. he traced his thumb across your lip and you took it into you mouth, sucking on it like a binkie. “fuck, you’re such a fucking slut y/n,” he ripped his hand from your mouth. “on the bed. now.”
you started to stand up but he stopped you, “no, crawl.” you did exactly as you were told and crawled your way to the foot of his bed.
you could predict he’d want you on all fours, but you didn’t want to assume, so you sat on the edge of his bed waiting for further instructions.
“you know how i want you.” he was making his way toward you.
you quickly turned around on your knees and lowered yourself so your face and arms were flat on the bed and your ass was in the air.
when jeonghan got within arms length of your body, without hesitation he slapped your right ass cheek before grabbing it tightly, his left hand doing the same to the other side. you just yelped and balled up the sheets in your fists.
spreading you so wide you thought you might split, he speaks again. “there’s so much more of you that i want to explore, y/n,” he mumbled lining himself up with your aching core once again.
“s-so explore me, jeonghan,” your voice was rather shaky as you waited for his cock to be shoved into you at any moment.
“fuck baby…” baby again? you didn’t have time to process the pet name once again before jeonghan picked up where you guys had left off.
his hands were holding onto your waist for dear life as he railed you into his bed with no mercy.
“f-f-fuck hann-nie!” you cried out, every stutter on beat with his hips. a string of the most lewd whimpers, whines and groans you’ve every let fly from your mouth followed.
“uh huh, that’s r-right. how g-good do i-fuck~ fuck you huh?” he boasted.
something about jeonghan’s feral tendencies to “claim” you had you tightening around him over and over, that familiar knot forming in your tummy.
“g-god hannie i’m c-close!” you warned, gripping the sheets until your knuckles turned white.
he pulled his dick out of you instantly. you started pouting, “noooo hannie why did you-“
you heard a pop from his mouth and couldn’t help but turn your head around as far as you could. “hannie?”
“if you don’t like it, or it’s too much, what do you say?”
“‘stop’… what are you- fuck!”
jeonghan’s thumb was prodding at your other hole, barely being granted access due to it never being messed with. “too much?” he asked as the tip of his thumb slipped in.
the groan that escaped your mouth was all he needed but you tried to respond anyway, “n-no hannie~ fffuck…” your voice trailed off, the new sensation sending your body into a blissfully painful new level of pleasure.
jeonghan lined himself back up, slipping inside of you with ease at this point. the sensation of being able to feel his cock sliding in and out of you through your ass with his thumb was a feeling he didn’t know he needed. he threw his head back, slowly pulling himself out almost entirely before steadily pushing himself back into you, pushing down with his thumb to feel every inch through your gummy walls. “god dammit, y/n. you’re gonna be the death of me,” he snarled before once again picking back up to his animalistic pace from before.
you both were a moaning mess, in your own bubble of euphoria when suddenly, you were rudely interrupted by an annoyingly familiar voice.
“okay you fucking psychopaths, your point has been made. can you shut the fuck up now?!” josh yelled from down below. if you two were being honest, the moment jeonghan had you crawling across the floor to his bed, you’d forgotten all about josh and the others.
“no. you can come close the fucking door!” jeonghan yelled back trying to keep his voice steady when in reality, he could fall apart here and now. fall to his knees and cry at how amazing you were making him feel. you’re the reason he can fuck you so good. you make it impossible not to.
“god you guys are fucking obnoxious…” josh’s voice trailed off at the end of his sentence as he reached jeonghan’s door. he froze in his tracks. his drunken state didn’t really allow him to comprehend that he was going to be walking in on jeonghan absolutely wrecking you. he was just coming up to close the door, but he couldn’t stop staring.
he was snapped out of his daze when jeonghan whipped his head around, making immediate eye contact with him, not slowing down his thrusts in the slightest, completely unfazed.
“the fuck do you want?” he spat. you managed to turn your head to the side to catch a glimpse of the boy in the doorway. your vision blurry from being completely fucked out of your mind. you knew it felt wrong that he was seeing all of this, but your brain was so fuzzy you couldn’t really focus on anything else other than jeonghan.
“i- i was just closing the door,” josh managed to mutter out. as he reached for the doorknob, jeonghan spoke up again.
“no. you wanna watch so bad?” he slowly took his thumb out of you first, then his cock. you subconsciously whimpered at the sudden empty feeling. you knew you should move, knew you should adjust so you weren’t so exposed for josh to see but you couldn’t bring yourself to in your sex drunk (and still literally tipsy) state.
jeonghan, dick still out, made his way over to josh. “then come have a seat,” his tone was bitter as he grabbed him by the shoulder and walked him to his desk chair, nearly throwing him down.
“dude i don’t-“
“i dont want to hear it. you’re the one that stopped to watch so im giving you what you want, yeah?” suddenly jeonghan had dominance over everyone in the room. all josh could do was nod in response.
with the main reason for all of this absurdity now sitting in the room, jeonghan felt it was appropriate to shut the door. he did so forcefully, then made his was back over to you.
your head already being turned to your left where jeonghan’s desk was, you were looking right at josh. you quickly flipped your head the other way, embarrassed by your state. jeonghan took a fistful of your hair and slowly pulled you up so your back was flat against chest.
“i want him to watch me make you fall apart,” he whispered so gently in your ear for no one else to hear. “is that okay pretty girl?” the nickname making your tummy do flips all over again. of course that was okay. sure it would be embarrassing for the first 5 seconds, but josh pissed you off tonight more than anyone. so yes, yes of course he could be put in his place with a front row seat to the show.
“jeonghan yes,” you breathed desperately, clenching around nothing.
“good,” you wish you could see the smile on his face that you could hear when he spoke. “now, when you lay back down, turn your head back toward him so he can watch your face while i claim what’s mine.”
what’s his?
you did as you were told and when jeonghan loosened his grip on your hair, you lowered yourself back down with your face in the sheets facing joshua once again. he looked at you with a stare that was incomprehensible. was it lust? embarrassment? anger? probably all of the above, but you didn’t care. all you cared about was jeonghan filling you back up.
jeonghan started to make a snarky comment to joshua when you interrupted him.
“hannie p-please who fucking cares i need you to fuck me please please please!” you were on the brink of tears. so desperate for him, to feel his cock deep inside you again.
“oh someone’s needy hm? good girl asking so nicely.” his voice something carnal. he took barely two seconds to line himself up with your soaked, swollen, reddened and abused core.
you didn’t think he was holding back before but holy shit were you wrong. his hands were basically imbedded into your waist. his hips snapping with even more determination and vigor than before. it took no more than 20 seconds for him to get that knot forming in your tummy again.
“is this what you wanted, you fucking whore? such a whore for my cock aren’t you.” he growled. “tell me baby, has anyone ever fucked you this good?” he whined out, his own orgasm approaching.
you must’ve taken a millisecond too long to answer him because he harshly smacked your ass making you cry out in pain (in a good way of course). “answer me.”
“yes!” your voice coming out in a mix of whimpers and pure air. “no one c-can f-fuck… fuck me like you do hannie!”
“not even josh over here?”
your eyes had been shut since jeonghan started fucking you again… you forgot josh was in the room. when you opened them you were met with the sight of him shamelessly palming himself through his sweats. “especially not josh,” you managed to spit out rather clearly. it was a somewhat mean statement but the mother fucker was getting off to watching jeonghan literally prove that he can fuck you better than josh ever could’ve, so why not humiliate him a little more?
sure enough, josh groaned out in pleasure. sick.
“that’s fucking right.” jeonghan managed to pull out, flip you onto your back, and start fucking you again so fast you got dizzy. the new angle allowing him to hit a new spot, one that was bringing you closer to the edge, much faster than before.
“mmmmffff h-hannieee~” was all you could manage to get out, but he knew exactly what it meant.
“gonna make a mess all over my cock baby? hm? gonna show josh what a fucking idiot he is?” he whined once again. he moved his hand down and began rubbing circles on your clit, bringing you to your breaking point.
you turned into an illiterate wreck. somewhere laced in your desperate noises were traces of jeonghan’s name. you physically couldn’t bring yourself to unscrew your eyes to look at him. you knew he loved it when you made eye contact whenever you came undone for him, but you just couldn’t. you suddenly felt a soft hand gently grab your neck.
“i fucking love your face, y/n,” he whispered as his hips started to stutter. you managed to open your eyes to look at him right before he started to come undone himself, you still coming down from your own state of euphoria. when your eyes locked, he immediately crashed his lips into yours, his hand on your neck tightening as his hips thrusted into you one last time. you couldn’t help but clench around him when you felt his warm seed fill you up. his mouth fell open letting out a feral noise as you two lay forehead to forehead, jeonghan slowly moving himself in and out of you letting you milk his cock for all it’s worth. his hand that was around your neck moved up to cup your face instead, wiping your tears that you didn’t even realize had fallen from your eyes during all of… that.
“josh?” jeonghan’s voice was low, and he never broke eye contact with you. “get out.”
you heard josh shuffle out of the room shutting the door behind him. it was nice for it to just be the two of you again… not that you didn’t enjoy the game you two just played.
jeonghan’s eyes were piercing into yours with something different than you’d ever seen. it was a content look which you were used to but…
“i-“ he paused, scanning your eyes to see if he should even say such a foolish thing.
“you what, jeonghan?” you said delicately, running your fingers through your hair.
“i love you, y/n.” he whispered. he sunk his head down to the rook of your neck as if to hide. it was the most precious thing you’ve ever seen this boy do.
“jeonghan…” you shifted to grab his face and bring it back up to look at you. “i love you too.”
how were you two sharing the most soft, comforting moment with each other right after having sex that you felt would have the devil himself appalled?
“really?” his eyes lit up, a smile growing on his face. he showered every inch of your face in kisses as you giggled through every second of it. once he finally stopped you nodded silently with a soft smile plastered across your face.
most normal people in such a situation would be asking all sorts of questions, but you didn’t care to. you knew you guys would talk about it at the right time for both of you, that time just wasn’t now.
-
“BREAKFAST!!” mingyu yelled from the kitchen. you were barely managing to open your eyes as you heard footsteps running down the hall. for these men being well past their teenage years, you always found yourself thinking of them as boys. always so cheerful and full of energy, even first thing in the morning.
once you “came to” if you will, you realized you were being spooned by the boy that confessed his love for you last night… or early this morning. the moment he ripped you away from the table you’d lost track of all time.
you both were naked but you felt clean. you vaguely remember in your post-fucked-out state, that jeonghan had carried you to the bathroom with him to shower.
“hannie,” you spoke just above a whisper.
“hmmmmmm,” he groaned, pulling you closer to him.
“gyu just said breakfast is ready and.. i’m hungry.”
“i don’t blame you.” you could hear the smile on his face even tho your back was turned to him. his morning voice was husky, the sound of it immediately going to your core, but you were too hungry to do anything about it.
“shutup,” you giggled. “let’s get dressed.”
“ugggggh okay fine, fine.”
he let you slip out of his arms to sit on the edge of his bed before… attempting to get up. your legs were so physically weak, you couldn’t bring yourself to stand. in that moment you knew jeonghan was watching you because he bursted out laughing.
“oh i’m so sorry,” he sighed once he finished his laughing session.
“for laughing at the fact that i can’t stand? or for being the fucking reason that i can’t stand?” you jokingly scolded.
“both,” he shrugged with a smug smirk on his face before getting up and grabbing two pairs of briefs from his drawer, one for you and one for him. he put on a pair, then threw a baggy t-shirt on and called it good. “i hope you’re okay twinning with me,” he teased as he got on his knees to slide the underwear he grabbed for you onto your legs. once he got to your thighs you took over.
“i don’t mind in the slightest,” you gave him a cheeky smile. he shifted closer to you on his knees so he was between your legs, then gave you a tender kiss before he spoke again.
“good. now what shirt of mine do you want to wear, princess?”
you looked up at the ceiling, cartoonishly thinking even though you both knew what shirt you wanted to wear.
“maybe that really really baggy sweater with that ‘message of’ whatever on it?”
he gave you another kiss with a smile before moving to his closet. “message of ames it is, pretty girl.”
once he helped you put the sweatshirt on, you still sitting on the bed, he kneeled backwards in front of you so you could hop on his back.
“we were taking bets on if you two were gonna come down,” minghao deadpanned from the table, taking a bite of one of mingyu’s pancakes.
“the princess was hungry.” you lightly hit him upside the head before he carefully set you down right next to the chair he just pulled out for you. once you sat, he pushed you in.
minghao smiled at you. he spoke up once jeonghan walked into the kitchen to fetch your plates. “i’m glad he treats someone nicely.”
you two giggled together. “and i’m glad it’s me.”
“oh… something happened last night.” he paused with his forkful of hash browns in front of his face. “well, beside the obvious.”
your face grew hot. “ha, yeah you wouldn’t believe.”
“can’t wait to hear about it,” he whispered, then shoveling the hash browns into his mouth.
“hey,” jeonghan blurted setting your plate down in front of you. “you guys, where’s josh?” he asked casually as he sat with his own plate as if what happened last night just simply… didn’t happen. you could imagine he was hesitant to face you both.
but then…
“y/n! jeonghan!” josh yelled from his room. “what the fuck are these?!”
you and jeonghan slowly turned to look at each other, both wearing the words “oh fuck” on your faces without muttering a word. jeonghan shot out of his chair and ran up the stairs to save both of your asses.
you turned to your food, silently poking at a piece of your scrambled eggs. minghao leaned in close, so you turned to him. “what did he find?” he whispered.
as if on cue, mingyu ran over from the kitchen to lean his head in. you leaned close to the boys so you knew any lingering ears wouldn’t hear. “jeonghan threw my underwear in his room,” you whispered back.
minghao bursted out laughing, mingyu stood up dumbfounded. exaggerated shock displayed on his face. anyone else in the room who was trying to mind their own business was now staring.
“you guys are too fucking much,” minghao sighed while holding a smile on his face. mingyu silently kissed you on the top of your head before walking back into the kitchen.
“you have no idea,” you smiled back, taking a bite of your best friend’s homemade pancakes.
˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱‧₊˚
tag list: (i tagged everyone who reblogged the teaser) @jenoslutie @goblynnrockz @iluvhoshi @shinaely @squishysquishjimin @sana-is-ms-rmty @wonusfavgf @httpjeia @chanichanvhan @133456789000000000000 @4shypotato @meowwiie @lethia-killua @asyre @jeonghnie @starcandybby
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ghouldtime · 2 days
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Random Rant on Fanfic Pet Names
Let me say this is more me screaming into the great unknown because it's something that I KEEP seeing and it keeps irking me and causing me to cringe out of my skin. Putting it under the read more, it's just a rant mainly about the COD fandom, you're not missing anything if you don't read this
Disclaimer: I mean absolutely no hate to the writers who do this. Because you should be writing what makes YOU happy and what YOU like to write. Writing is unique and independent to each individual and just because I don't like something doesn't mean that it's inherently bad or shouldn't be done. You do you, you go on your own journey - just cause we both like hiking doesn't mean we have to take the same trail or that one path is better than the other. Judging people like that who write different than you is nasty and policing harmless writing over little things is stinky sock sniffer behavior. Just cause it's my yuck doesn't mean it is everyone's and I don't expect everyone to agree with me nor is my point meant to be an objective truth or statement. It's literally just my feelings and I need to yell about it
The COD fandom in particular I've seen is atrocious for doing this. But I abhor when they make the characters use pet names like "pet" and "little girl" or "little boy".
Especially when they've literally JUST met
Every time I see it I immediately have to exit off the fic as I gag. I swear it's instinctive at this point. You know those videos of cats who do the extremely dramatic gagging when they smell something they slightly don't like? That's me. 110%
It comes up and I look at the page like this
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It just feels so so gross to me and has this icky undertone that I cannot stand. And I don't know if I'm reading into it too much or if this is just me a me thing but I swear to any gods above this keeps happening. It's done so much I have tried putting filters on specifically to avoid it
It strikes me as so odd??? Like why that out of everything. Why something emphasizing age/maturity or treating the reader like they're a possession when it's a regular ass fanfic.
It makes my skin crawl and the possessive/dismissive undertones there are NOT cute. It always reads as ignoring reader's autonomy and treating them more like an object or thing instead of a person. When they just met too or the relationship really doesn't call for it or where it would be weird, it's just shoehorned in and I reallllly really really hate it oh man.
Like if it's established and is a fic where it's like "hey, this is what this is going to be! We're doing a nsfw/bdsm-y undertones here! That's the vibe!" Then great! Fantastic! That lines up, you're expecting that. Not when it's like a fluff fic or supposed to be super causal
I see this mainly with Ghost in fan fics. For some reason, he seems to be numero uno when it comes to calling reader "pet" as a form of endearment. I'm so sorry but I can't ever see him doing that. The guy who has extensive trauma with animals from his childhood, who would take an IMMENSE amount of time forming a close bond with someone to ever get into a relationship (following the comics for his history anyhow which is what I've seen most people do, Ghost has literally seen his family killed and has been through so so much trauma it's wild and the dude has a lot going on mentally), calling someone he cares about a pet??? I just don't see it happening. I sure as shit don't think he'd do that to near strangers either. Even if you ignored that past history for him or write Ghost different -that's just a flat out weird thing to call someone you don't know and has the implications of ownership/subservience on that person's part. Doing that to someone you REALLY do not know is insane
And the little girl/boy one used in conjunction with an age gap??? No??? That's just. So many shades of ew to me and is really putting emphasis on the wrong thing there (at least how I see it and in the context of the fic. I've never seen it used appropriately unless the reader is meant to be a literal child and it's a platonic fic. Context matters). ESPECIALLY when they emphasize reader is young (as in, barely legal, just turned 18/19 or heck even 20). Which I also keep seeing too when it is used. I'm not here for that reallllly creepy vibe that sounds like something you'd eventually hear about on Dateline or in a youtube exposé video
Like y'all. Anyone being shipped with them should be a grown ass adult because THEY are all grown ass adults. For me the little is never emphasizing size when paired with a gendered term, it's emphasizing how small their age is and that's wacky. Maybe that's just a me problem but when I hear "little girl" or "little boy", I'm thinking of a kid. Because girl/boy are most commonly used for children and when you're pairing it with little there, that's what you're emphasizing and you're practically guaranteeing that image.
Be real, if a guy you JUST met who you don't find attractive sneers and says, "Be quiet, pet." or "hush little girl/boy, " you wouldn't find that hot, you'd find that creepy. It's only excused because you're attracted to the character and find them hot. I'm picking a fight, I'm throwing hands if that's dropped on me in the real world out there. Probably not because I'm too non-confrontational but you bet im cringing and giving him the most:
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look I can absolutely muster.
Maybe this is just a me thing and I'm losing my marbles. Or maybe it's the fact that I've had that happen to me where a dude I barely know called me "little girl/boy" (despite me being older?? and like the same height?????) and I just died on the inside viscerally that day
For the record if someone pulls the 'pet' card, I'm living up to it. I'm puking on the carpets somewhere in the dark at 3am, I'm yelling at the mailman and doorbells, I'm doing parkour off the couch when you're trying to sleep. Why the absolute hell are you calling someone you JUST MET that when it isn't even supposed to be that kinda nsfw fic.
It's one thing if the vibe is established and the tags are there and you know what you're getting into. But I lose my mind when it's a casual fluff or meant to be romantic and then all of a sudden, BAM THERE IT IS AGAIN.
It makes it so hard to read fics because it's like roulette, I swear I'm always suddenly hit with it and there goes my interest in trying again 🥲
To anyone who read this i admire your courage and akbwdbkawd im having a moment over here
(And hopefully everyone is having a snazzy day! 💚💚💚 my inbox is always open if you ever need to vent or need someone to talk to or want to join me yelling into the void)
Rant over,
Ghoul out
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jacarandaaaas · 2 days
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I notice how (most of) the fandom likes to pin Mirabel as motherly but...Camilo's right there. I can see him getting strict when he needs to be or blurts out the right advice at the right time...which literally shocks everyone when he does but still. In other words, he's the "mom/dad" friend that everybody needs at the right time.
He takes care of kids all day + Is a natural caretaker like Julieta is. We don't know much of his personality other than "mischievous" but taking care of kids from an early age can surely make someone responsible and mature overtime.
Mirabel isn't the town babysitter; she has her own things going on. And I know she loves kids and all, but she strikes more as an older sister/ "aunt who gives you the candy you aren't supposed to have" kind of gal than a motherly type. Don't get me wrong, I honestly think she's good with advice too, but Camilo comes in a close second.
Yet, there's literally a tag on ao3 that's "Mirabel Madrigal acting as Antonio Madrigal's parental figure" that belongs to 94 fics. It's not a lot but still.
I'm okay with it being an au and all, have your fun, but Camilo takes care of kids on a regular basis. Shouldn't he be the one that's seen as parental?
It would be funny to see the slacker get fed up with someone's antics and start scolding like a parent would. I'm sure when it happens it makes the person do a double take because it's not something he does often. Rarely even.
So, when it does happen, it's shocking.
It would be nice to have Camilo be painted as someone who is emotionally mature. Maybe not to the extent of Mirabel, but like I said, he takes care of children. That has to make someone emotionally mature to some extent.
It would be nice to see Camilo not painted as a jerk for once. Sure, he's incredibly blunt but not a jerk! And yes, he's a teen boy, he's going to feel emotions like one, but we SAW him giving tea to his mom when she was freaking out.
Not jerk teenager would do that unless they were forced too. Camilo isn't forced, he wants his mama to be calm so SHE can feel a little better. We can see that by the way he's talking to her.
It would be hilarious to see Camilo using a chancla on someone (maybe a bully who's harassing Mirabel) and ending it with-
"AND DON'T THINK YOUR PARENTS WON'T HEAR ABOUT THIS!"
Sorry for the rant, I didn't intend for it to get that long.
anon you are speaking my language!! I’ve talked about my dislike for parentified mirabel before so it’s nice to see I’m not alone on that!
camilo definitely has a more nurturing side and we see it as early as the opening song! Whilst I wouldn’t go as far to say he acts like a parent he definitely knows how to discipline children and is just naturally good at dealing with them! I would love to see more content that talks about how caring camilo is (I am sick of the jerk camilo thing he’s not heartless guys!) I can definitely see him as more experienced with kids than mirabel as he’s the babysitter she’s more just the fun one who hangs around with them! it’s a very different dynamic as we don’t really see mirabel necessarily looking after kids only entertaining them! As for your point on camilo being emotionally mature I would have to agree! the mothers wouldn’t trust him with their kids if they thought he would be irresponsible! he definitely knows how to scold them even if it’s surprising when it happens! I’m glad you mentioned the tea scene, as I think it shows a different side to camilo! he is caring and he’s good at comforting people! he isn’t gonna try make a situation worse he cares about his mother and wants to assure her! and I hate when people use that scene against pepa too! it is normal to make your mother tea weirdos!!! I love that scene despite how brief it is and we see glimpses of that side of camilo in the comics too!
As for mirabel 100% agree! she definitely strikes me as someone the kids would view as the cool older best friend much more than a parental figure. They don’t want to make her mad because in their eyes she’s cool! she’s fun and entertaining and they don’t want to make her mad! it’s not the case of a parent where it’s they know they’ll get in trouble for it! that’s partly what inspired my camp counselor au lmao! the fact mirabel is so good with kids in a way she makes them feel validated she doesn’t reprimand them she is someone they view as a friend! The mirabel is antonios mother fic genre is one I completely avoid i love their relationship because she is so much more of an older sister figure to him! I’ve said before I don’t like these fics so I tend to avoid them even if I don’t really read fics anymore lmao!
but I agree with most of your points! camilo is always seen as the fun one whilst mirabel is the parental one when in canon it’s the other way around! that’s not to say camilo isn’t fun because he absolutely is but we see him actually babysitting we see mirabel just hanging out with kids for fun! what I really need to see is mirabel and camilo as a babysitting duo that would be so fun!! both of them are 15 and deserve to have fun!! let mirabel have fun!! I would love to see more stuff involving camilos nurturing side for sure though!
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traceofexistence · 3 days
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After reading your post about Faye, I almost got a sense of deja-vu because I also had a similar rant about it.
Like that woman has been publicly out for a few years, privately even more (imo it was probably an open secret before she publicity came out). And no matter how "open" Thailand is for lgbtq ppl it's always a risk to come out, especially if you are already in a public light.
It's not Faye's, Yoko's, or 9star's problem that some people got "tricked" by other gl couple, and now in their opinion everyone is being fake and just doing it for "money."  And no matter how open and transparent any of them are (9star/fayeyoko), nothing is good enough for those people. Because like I've said they have been too delusional and were fucked over by other gl couples and their companies/studios.
So now that you have a openly out woman who is with a company that actually treats her and Yoko like human beings and doesn't rely on some stupid tricks so that they earn more money some people don't know how to behave. And in some instances are jealous because why couldn't my faves have company be like that. But that's just my opinion.
this
and because I'm weird like that I dont block the trolls I try to study their behaviour (knowing your enemies type of tactic on my party)
one particular on twitter was yapping about how Faye is in secret relationship with her salon partner (the way these assholes bullied that poor woman🤬) and she's cheating on her with yoko and yada yada yada, and how they are an excellent investigator. and their whole proof was couple of photos she had with Faye doing literally nothing LOL
so I looked at their older tweets, and boom they were a fan of another GL couple, and then they saw one of those actresses in pictures with a guy (again nothing explicit) and they started going off about how they were lied on, but to my understanding that other loveteam were like "we are single, we are phi-nong" the same way fayeyoko say (and I personally believe them because I simply dont ship)
so whether these people had "their dreams crushed" or they built a whole ass delusion to be mad about when it didn't come true is unclear to me.
and all the trolls I have seen look like they are disappointed from other GLs and apply the same bs on our girls
to conclude, I really do thing FayeYoko are nothing currently beyond phi-nong as they say
Faye has been saying she's single for years, that falling in love is hard for her, and be with people because she works too much, so I believe that
and Yoko doesn't care enough to lie about her status and she's been saying shes single since day one, and funnily enough the same trolls got mad that she said so again recently and called her names etc.
last but not least according to thai people, only very recently Thailand became somewhat open about LGBTQ. and still old people are conservative. coming out is coming out.
as for Faye, her family knew she was dating a girl early on. she said she didn't have to tell her mom, because her sister who (was very little at the time, asked her mom, and mom said "Faye is old enough now and she knows what she's doing" something along those lines and her baby sister told Faye back LOL so the cat was out of the bag soon, and her GF at the time was close to Faye's mom and sisters. her coming out to the public was around 2021~22 and after she got permission by the MGT boss, not to mention that with her coming out she paved the way for other MGT girls to be open up as well (two of her friends Lux, and Engfa for example)
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asairayn · 1 year
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fun fact: I, apparently, was diagnosed with ehlers danlos syndrome almost a year ago. My mother was diagnosed with ehlers danlos syndrome just over a year ago. Neither of us were told. Neither of us knew until two days ago, when I requested all my medical records because my health care company or whatever it's called would not show me my diagnoses (i will elaborate.). I discovered that, when I was referred to physical therapy (may of 2022), I was referred and given an eds diagnosis.
I was talking about this with my mother, along with the fact that their website would not show me my diagnoses, she went to their website (which would show her her diagnoses) and discovered that, guess fucking what, listed right there was "ehlers danlos syndrome," which she was diagnosed with in march of 2022 after she had a bad reaction to a local anesthetic during surgery, which she told her doctor she would likely have (they refused to use a different anesthetic).
For clarification, we both were 99% sure we had eds. I was diagnosed with pots in 2020, she was diagnosed with joint hypermobility syndrome years ago, she's done tons of research into eds, we have both mentioned to our doctors many times that we probably have it.
We were never actually tested before our diagnoses. My mother might have been, but if she was it was before the diagnostic criteria changed. I never was. They saw her negative reaction to an anesthetic that she told her doctor she might have because it was common with eds, and immediately diagnosed her. My doctor saw me using a cane (which I don't even use for joint pain primarily, but okay) and diagnosed me with eds (probably because I suddenly had family history, which we already knew).
Now, I'm not even entirely sure if I am diagnosed with eds. Sure, my medical records said I am, but those are incredibly confusing. My mother was able to find out immediately, because our health care provider has a website, and on her version, there's an obvious section labelled "Ongoing Health Conditions" which shows all of your diagnoses and issues. I assume. I cannot see that.
Other fun fact: I am a minor. Up until recently, their website would show me the website, but all it would show is a warning saying "You are seeing this message for one of the following reasons: -You don't have permission to use this service on behalf of your teen. -Your family member has access to this service, but you don't." Guess what. It would show the same thing to my mother. Me being a minor, her being my parent, she has access to my medical information (this isn't a bad thing in my situation, she's fine and also rarely looks at it). I would expect it to show her my 'ongoing health conditions', or for it to show me and not her, but it shows neither of us.
Highly recommend requesting your medical records (especially if it's a thing that you can do fully online, like I could). It might not be helpful, but it also might be very helpful. You also might find out fucked up things that nobody ever told you. And diagnoses you have that nobody ever told you (this also happened to my friend's parent. apparently it's common.), or that your doctor doesn't take you seriously (the wonderful things you learn from their notes). You also might learn good things? Maybe?
Long list of other bizarre and fucked up things about this health care provider under the cut :)
Even more fun things! (unrelated to eds, generally): - Going through their website, only clicking things that sent me to different parts of their website, it sent me through four entirely different versions with entirely different home pages. Why.
- One page of their website had the color block that was supposed to be on the bottom covering some of the information.
- I could only request my medical records for up to ten years ago. I haven't been seeing this health care provider for longer than about six years, so it didn't show longer than that anyways, but I feel like it is bad that it doesn't have the option. There were two options that I could choose: "Order an electronic copy of my general medical records from the past 2 years." and "Order an electronic copy of specific record types (such as hospital stays or lab results) from a certain period of time." I chose the second option, and requested the "specific record types" of everything it gave me the option of. Which was: medical office records, hospital records, laboratory/pathology results, diagnostic imaging results, mental health treatment records, addiction medicine treatment records.
- My medical records showed nothing relating to mental health, despite me asking for that ("mental health treatment records") and my therapist approving it. (I do actually know my mental health diagnoses, because my therapist told me when I was talking about this, so that's good). It did show that I was suspected of depression and referred to a therapist in may of 2018, which I thought wasn't established until august of 2018 (which was when we actually scheduled a therapy appointment, because apparently someone thought it was better to wait. not the best plan).
- There are actually four things that my mother's website shows her that mine doesn't show me. Past Visit Information, Download My Health Summary, Ongoing Health Conditions, and Life Care Planning. Fun! I could actually find Past Visit Information on a separate part of their website, but it just said that I haven't had any visits. Which is a lie, but okay. There was also a separate thing that I had titled "Health Summary" (without the download part) (my mother had both), which had me choose a time frame that it would show my information from, but any time I chose a time frame it would tell me that I didn't have any past visits, which still isn't true. Helpful!
- My doctor spelled my nickname (which I don't use, but my mother does) three different ways at different times, only one of which was correct. This one's just funny.
- My doctor put in my notes that one of my mentioned symptoms was, and I quote, "Gets "brain fog": by which she means that when she talks about things she trips over words." "I think it may be either be about anxiety/pressure or getting ahead of herself. She doesn't feel these are accurate," I am fucking pissed about this. Sure, I know I struggle with describing my symptoms (largely due to not remembering them), but I know for a fact that that is not what I meant, and almost certainly not what I said. What I meant was that at times (especially after doing any exercise), I can't properly think or string sentences together because I can't properly think, and I'm very unfocused and can't do much of anything that involves any focus. I meant brain fog. I know what I'm talking about. I still can't describe it properly. I don't have the words.
- Their current meds page shows that I am still taking a medication that I stopped taking in early January. Why. I only took it for like two weeks.
- (tw eating disorder mention, just for this bullet point) In mid 2020, in one of the questionnaires, it listed a concern from my mother as "Eating Disorder". This is absolutely not what she actually put down. Starting in early 2021 it would have made a bit of sense (fucking arfid), but I am 99% sure that my mother put down eds and some medical assistant read that as 'EDs', assumed it was eating disorder, and logged it as that in my medical records. for fucks sake.
- With this provider, you can only schedule mental health appointments by phone, and only video calls. The phone number on their website is always incorrect because it sends you to the wrong location so that person redirects you and then it sends you to the wrong department so that person redirects you and, honestly, unless you're really willing to go through that, it tends to discourage you from actually getting that mental health treatment.
- In 2021, I saw three different therapists cause they all kept leaving this company. In 2022, I saw one therapist who spent six months telling me to stop seeing her regularly and switch to as-needed because I "didn't need to see her regularly", which I only agreed to as I was switching schools and stopped seeing my friends regularly and was becoming depressed, but in the end a large part of why I stopped seeing her was because she also left that company, and I didn't start seeing someone else because she didn't want me to. Wonderful! Later that year, because I was really depressed, I tried to call and set up an appointment, but the person who answered told me that I needed the approval of my previous therapist to start seeing a new therapist (which.. is kinda fucking awful, but okay.), so I completely gave up on scheduling an appointment. (Had a mental health crisis two months later. I'm fine now don't worry.)
- I'm supposed to take salt tabs for the pots, but they make me nauseous so I don't. My doctor has told me multiple times "just take them anyways". Helpful. I drink soy sauce packets instead. They can't get me 12 grams of salt, but they can get me 600mg, so good enough.
- My doctor said that it is "Difficult to get ---- to share more of her subjective experience", which is true, but it's mostly because a) I don't have the words, b) I don't remember my "subjective experience" (seriously. I have some pretty bad memory issues, possibly related to dissociation, possibly not actually existing, unfortunately my doctor doesn't really take them seriously (or I forget to mention them during appointments, because irony) so get fucked me, I guess).
- "Appears well, alert, but becomes tearful because she wants to know "what this is"". Wow, thanks.
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gyuville · 6 months
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no bc i really don't trust people who genuinely think saiki hates his friends. like i get it, saiki does wanna be alone most times. but did they miss the eps where saiki kept an eye on his friends even when they weren't together and helped them?? i mean i could name numerous cases where he puts his friends above all else. i thought we all knew saiki is an unreliable narrator?? 😭 plus his mother did Not raise him like that
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