asairayn

[asairayn]

[asairayn]

Prince: I wish to marry!

Queen: Only if she can pass my test: failing to sleep on a bed with a pea under it!

Prince: Why are you screening for princesses with sensory issues?

Queen: She must be true royalty! Only the most autistic girl in all the land shall marry my son!

[asairayn]

giving birth sucks tbh. not only do you and the baby you’re birthing almost die, usually you shit yourself and often you tear your taint. then you have to push an organ out of your body (placenta) and if even a little of that remains in your body, you can hemorrhage to death or develop an infection that essentially rots your body from the inside out. even if you had a relatively “easy birth”, you bleed for weeks on end. even after that stops, your body and brain is changed for the rest of your life, the pregnancy leeched minerals from your bones, that can cause osteoporosis later. minor urinary incontinence is not uncommon, brain scans of people who gave birth show permanent changes in their brain, you’re never quite the same.

I say all of this not to say giving birth is disgusting but it is a harrowing and visceral experience. society downplays how fucking awful it is and makes it out to be a ~magical~ experience but it isn’t a magical transformative experience for everyone. it can be an extremely traumatic experience for someone who wanted to carry a pregnancy to term, much more so for someone who did not want to be pregnant in the first place or someone who knows their baby won’t survive the birth. anyway, abortion is a right. pregnancy and birth aren’t just inconvenient, it’s fucking awful.

[asairayn]

i don't really believe in holding onto guilt or grudges like you do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting and all that. but if i was a ghost i'd still haunt people purely for love of the game.

[asairayn]

metal sonic and espio have very similar head shapes

[asairayn]

[asairayn]

i literally love when people realize positive reinforcement works like yes its so silly isnt it. but it literally works humans love juice reward too

[asairayn]

[asairayn]

First base is violence second base is convoluted codependence third base is applying pressure to the vulnerable parts of their body to keep their entrails from spilling out

[asairayn]

shipping isn’t about what the writers or actors say is or isn’t romantic. shipping isn’t even about romance a good percentage of the time. shipping is about seeing The Dynamic and going absolutely hog wild in your mind and your friends dms about it.

[asairayn]

if I meet u at a party I will often hand you my phone and say something like "this is a list of names for girls. please read through and then add one." the list is special because you can only add to it in person; I won't add something that you tell me about over text. however, I think it's okay for me to share it here. without further ado, I present: girl names (names for girls)

[asairayn]

if I meet u at a party I will often hand you my phone and say something like "this is a list of names for girls. please read through and then add one." the list is special because you can only add to it in person; I won't add something that you tell me about over text. however, I think it's okay for me to share it here. without further ado, I present: girl names (names for girls)

[asairayn]

Beaded cloisonné hermit crab by Amy Kopperude.

[asairayn]

The mattress store I’m covering at today is the same I worked at nigh on a decade ago. I had a seven year hiatus and here I am again, like slipping back into a pair of broken in shoes.

It’s a holiday weekend and everyone was pretty busy when a new couple walked in. They were asking about a warranty since their bed is almost ten years old and is having some dipping. They wanted to know if it could be a warranty replacement.

I was telling them it was unlikely but running through options and next steps and the longer I spoke with them the more intent their attention got. Some kind of unspoken communication was passing between them.

Eventually the wife looked down at my name tag. “Is that your name?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I confirmed, laughing because it’s an unusual name, but she looked like she knew me and I’ve never ever run into another person with my name.

“And your last name?”

I told them and they both crowed triumphantly. The husband said, “I knew it! I knew it was her! She talks just the same!”

The wife was beaming and said, “You sold us our bed! Ten years ago! Your hair was much shorter but we thought we recognized you! Your name is on our receipt!”

I was floored. To be working here on this day to help out a couple I’d helped ten years ago find their next bed was just a wild full circle moment.

[asairayn]

[asairayn]

Pisses me off how good Shakespeare actually is. Like yeah he's actually that good. People hype him up like he's the best English writer ever, and yeah he's actually an S+ tier writer.

[asairayn]

My body is already an inhospitable environment, there’s no way a friggin baby would be able to survive in it