#i have so much commentary but i feel like her pulling out a pun is james rubbing off on her

[so-much-for-the-seashells]

The Fun Kind of Sparring Pt. 2

Soldier Boy (The Boys) x Reader

(Aka minors do NOT interact with this post)

A/N: Sooooooo… did ya miss me?? Heh. My down stairs brain has been exercised, that’s for sure. Took five but now I’m trying to change lives 💪

Anyways, as always, all interaction, especially commentary/tags, is extremely appreciated! It really makes my day to hear that people like what I’m putting out there.

Content Warning: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ If you thought the last one was diddle-that-skittle-worthy, this one… I think I’m going to need to take a cold shower. I mean, my man doesn’t stop talking. I will say he’s really sweet to the reader. A few things he says sound more like him in canon, but overall he’s really sweet. Look, guys, life is lifing rn so I just needed a sweet hot old man to talk me through it 🤷‍♀️

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Previously on The Fun Kind of Sparring

"Good girl," he praises, and it's all I can do not to keen. I have to be soaked through my shorts by now, there's no way. "Well, what l'd do next... that's simple. I'd fuck her until she cried, and then I'd keep going. And I'd keep going until the only thing she can remember is my name, until she's gooey and clingy and a sweet little fucked out thing, all for me," he finishes, his grin from before returning back to his face. I'm losing it. I can't think straight. And yet- he's still waiting for me to make the first move. Son of a bitch.

"O-okay," I clear my throat, unable to find my senses. "And if that hypothetical girl was me?" We both know it's me, I just need to hear it.

"Well in that case I think l'd be the luckiest bastard who ever lived," he says sincerely, looking at me with a gaze that can only be described as pure adoration and lust. Yep. That's it for me. I lean up and kiss him with as much force as I can muster.

A strand of spit connects our lips when we part, and if I hadn’t heard him say all those dirty things I’d think it was the most erotic thing imaginable. It’s certainly a close second, though.

He crashes his lips back to mine once the strand breaks, demanding access that I could never be strong enough not to give. He explores my mouth with great fervor, silencing the small whimpers and whines trying to tear themselves from my throat. Once he’s sure I’m breathless he moves down, planting a row of kisses to my jaw before kissing down my neck, biting and sucking dark marks at the juncture of my neck and shoulder.

But through the lust induced haze that’s already clouding my brain I can only remember one thing.

“Uh, Ben?” my voice is unrecognizable, breathy and high.

“Yeah?” He says into my collarbone where he’s been leaving more love bites.

“What about you? Don’t you get to come in the story?”

“Oh, you’re sweet on me, huh, baby? Don’t you worry about me sweet girl, that’ll come later- no pun intended.”

“Oh, okay,” I mumble, tugging him up by the hair so I can kiss him again. “I could kiss you forever,” I say. And it sounds stupid, but his plush pink lips are just too good to be true.

“That can be arranged, sweetheart,” he smirks, leaning down to kiss me again. There’s just no feeling like it. I reach for the hem of his grey sweatpants, but he grunts, pulling away. I look at him, eyes wide with confusion.

“Sugar, as much as I’d love to give some sad sap the chance of walking in on this, I think it’s better we move this to my room.”

“Oh, okay,” I concede.

“Trust me,” he says, almost… shifty? Whatever. I’m too horny to decipher his gaze at the moment. I let him all but pick me up off the floor, and I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror embellished wall: my face is sweaty and splotchy, hair already a wreck, hickies everywhere on my neck and shoulders. Holy hell. I haven’t even gotten laid yet, and I look like I went nine rounds in a porno. Motherfucker. Me-fucker, in a minute. Good god.

“I think I’m an artist,” he says smugly from behind me, admiring the blues and purples on my neck and shoulders, and catching my gaze in the mirror. He presses his bulge to my ass, at which I gasp. He’s huge. I can already tell. How the fuck does he even-? I don’t even know how I’m going to finish that question.

“C’mon sweetheart, my room ain’t far.”

“Okay,” I mumble, stuck on the absent feeling of his bulge against me. “But the floor was so hot,” I pout.

“Don’t I know it, sweets,” he grins. “But I’ve got big plans for you, if you remember.”

I moan softly at the memory of his dirty words

“Attagirl.” The shit eating grin from before is right back on his face. “Now c’mon, sweets,” he tugs my hand in his, practically dragging me out of the gym. Before I know it I’m laying on my back in his soft bed, him over me. He somehow kisses me both soft and slow, and rough and fast, and it’s almost impossible to breath. Especially as he adds more to the canvas he’s made of my body.

“Can I?” he asks, tugging at the hem of my shirt. I nod, and pulls it up over my head, obviously enjoying what he finds under it.

“Of course my pretty girl has pretty tits too, I shouldn’t even be surprised, but”-he kisses the tops of each of my breasts-“damn, baby.”

I blush at his praise, unable to help myself. “Can I take off this cute little bra?” he asks.

“Mhm,” I say, hoping that he’ll just rip it off. But instead of being raucous he gently unclasps it from behind, teasing it off of me. He trails lower with his lips, lavishing my breasts in attention that leaves them perky and alert once he leaves them for my stomach.

I can’t help but start giggling at the feeling of his scratchy beard on my stomach as he continues his trek of kisses and such southward. “What’s funny?” he asks, obviously amused by my laughter. I can only giggle harder because he seems to catch on, now intentionally scratching at me with it. He starts kissing lower and lower, and eventually my giggles dissolve into moans as he nips at the juncture of my thigh and pelvis.

“So sweet,” he mumbles, tugging at the waist band of my shorts. He pulls both them and my underwear off in one go. “Oh, sweets,” he breathes. “You this wet all for me?”

I squeak, unable to respond to the dark, lust-filled look in his eyes as he asks. Thankfully the question is rhetorical, because my brain is already starting to get fuzzy.

He gingerly pulls off my shoes and socks, before pressing featherlight kisses to and massaging up my left leg. Just as he reaches my sopping heat does he stop, biting the squishy flesh of the inside of my thigh before returning back down on my right leg.

“Ben,” I whine impatiently, unsure of how much more of this teasing I can take before I just come without him doing anything.

He just tuts at me before continuing his ministrations. And good grief does he know what buttons to press, because my legs already feel like jello in his hands.

Finally he bites my other thigh, and I’m all but shaking with how eager I am for him to do something, anything to me. And he seems to be more than happy to comply.

“Listen, if you tell me to stop, I’ll stop,” he says roughly, sincerely, as his cheek rests against the inside of my thigh.

“O-okay?” I say, my tone far past breathy.

“That’s my girl,” he grins before diving in.

It’s like nothing I’ve felt before. It feels like he’s lit orgasmic fireworks, like far too much and not enough all at once, like… it’s fucking inexplainable. Especially while I’m physically squirming from how good it feels, while he only needs one big hand splayed over my stomach to keep me down. I couldn’t even tell you what I’m moaning between the incoherent mess of his one syllable name and the whines he’s pulling out of me.

It’s incredible. And he’s so methodical, so good at it. Eighty odd years of experience will do it to you I guess, but this is like, next level.

And before I know it my stomach is tightening in on itself, and I try to warn him. I really do. But he doesn’t even need me to warn him. Instead he takes his hand off my stomach and places both on either of my thighs, locking me in place around his head. And before I know it, his tongue thrusting in and out of me and his nose and facial hair rubbing on my clit have me coming with a loud cry of his name. I’m physically shaking by the end of it from how he continues to fuck me through it, lapping up every last drop.

The thing about Ben is that he does everything with great fervor. Passion, really, except he thinks that’s too feminine a word. There just has to be a certain exceptionality to the way he does things. When he snorts a line of coke, the line had better be four times longer than anyone else’s. When he performed back in the day, it had to be more grandiose than Queen, more ostentatious than Madonna. When he eats pussy, it has to be fucking leagues ahead of any other man or woman in the entire world.

And man oh man does he deliver. I think I come again, but it’s hard to tell from how intense the initial orgasm was and how fuzzy the overstimulation is making my brain. But he eventually pulls back, once again resting his stubbled cheek on the inside of my thigh, my come glistening on his jaw and mouth. It’s a sight of debauchery in its purest-or should I say filthiest- form. I’m panting, trying to ground myself as he smugly smirks at me, his greens eyes sparkling like cut emeralds.

“Y’like that, sweetheart?” he asks, knowing damn well I do. And yes, he’s cocky as fuck, but… he’s not wrong.

“Yes,” I mumble.

“Good girl,” and at that I clench around nothing. And he does not fail to notice.

“Aww, my sweet girl likes being a good girl,” he observes, languidly running a knuckle through my folds. I gasp, and he chuckles. “Easy.”

He surprises me by thrusting one finger in- and like he said, it wouldn’t do much with how wet I was. So he gives me a second, and I start to feel it, especially when he hits my g-spot on every languid thrust, eliciting tinny moans from me. The tinny moans get louder when he starts scissoring his fingers inside of me, opening me up as far as he sees fit. “Gotta get you ready for me,” he explains, spitting on his other hand before brining his thumb to my clit. I’m beyond fucked once the rough pad of his thumb meets my sensitive bud, gasping his name and arching my back.

“You’re taking ‘em so well, sweet girl. Gonna give you another,” he tells me before adding a third finger and rubbing on my clit even faster. I barely last three minutes of this before I come for the second-third?- time with a weak cry of his name, still ready for more. I’m flustered from how easy it was to make me come, and his words certainly don’t soothe my blush.

“Oh, look at this pretty pussy gushin’ f’me, she’s too good to me,” he groans, slowly thrusting his fingers in and out to prolong my bliss. “Aww sweet girl, why’re you embarrassed, huh? I think my new favorite color is pink cause of your sweet cheeks. My pretty girl, my perfect girl.”

My mind is so fuzzy. Ben- Soldier Boy- is literally praising me whereas he calls anyone else a disappointment or a whore. And he’s making me feel so good, not only because of the incredible sex but with the way he’s treating me.

He kisses me again before he stands up, and I can taste myself on him. I don’t mind though, because his lips, his tongue… I can hardly account for my senses, much less comprehend the taste of myself. He stares at me and finally takes the waistband of his sweatpants in his hands. I can’t help the way my jaw drops as he finally pulls them and his boxers down, and naturally he gives me his signature smirk.

The bottom line is that he’s even bigger than I had thought earlier. Like, this is a size I thought only dildos came in, not the real thing. It’s long, it’s thick, and it’s rock hard. His eyes are trained on mine, so naturally he catches me gaping and laughs. Jackass.

“You know that not all of that is going to fit, right?” I ask, a little nervous.

“We’ll see about that,” he says, cocksure. I can’t help but gulp involuntarily, but once he brings his lips back down to mine I’m right back into my whipped frenzy, pouting and following his lips like a puppy when he pulls away, rummaging in his bedside drawer but talking all the while.

“Don’t worry, m’gonna give you what you want, just gotta ease you into it, okay? Ain’t gonna treat you like a loosened whore, I could never. My sweet girl. Didn’t bring you in here for nothing, wanted this.” He holds up a small bottle, and that’s when I get it. He needed the damn lube. That’s why he wanted to come back here. Not a big connection, but for someone who’s ready to let him doin all sorts of unspeakable things to her and thank him for it, it’s a revolutionary revelation.

“Oh-oh,” I say, my voice breaking when I watch him fist himself a few times.

“Gonna make it feel so good for you,” he mumbles, rubbing a generous amount of lube up and down his length. As if it hasn’t already been beyond good. “Tell you what, baby, I want you to ride me, just to start. Y’can adjust on your own time, take it as slow as you need, okay sweet girl? ‘Cause if I’m on top… I don’t think I can make any promises.” At least he’s honest. The horny part of me wants him to just go ahead and rail me within an inch of my life, but the small, annoying, rational part of me recognizes how huge he is. He sits down next to me on the bed, comfortably resting against the pilos and the headboard. His legs are splayed, showing off the endearing curve to them.

It takes a lot out of my already fucked out self to move two inches and straddle him, but I do. He smiles, genuinely smiles, and I can’t help but smile back.

“Take it easy, sweet girl,” he tells me. “We’ve got all night. You just take all the time you need.” I’m so turned on by how sweet he is, I genuinely can’t even help it.

“Okay,” I mumble, reaching for his cock, feeling it in my hands. It’s just a little thicker than the grip of one of my hands- definitely thicker than anything I’ve ever had, but not as scary as I thought. I rub the leaking precum over his tip, because even though he’s already poured a more than generous amount of lube on himself I can’t be too sure. Not to mention the delicious gasps he’s making at every touch are enough to just do this for the next six hours.

But finally, finally I’m ready. I position myself over it, my arms encircling Ben’s wide, freckled shoulders.

And then I slowly, ever so slowly sink down on the tip. We both moan at the newfound sensation, and I physically have to stop for a second. He’s just so big. All of him is, from his ego to his overall stature, but inside me? He’s huge, and the stretch is beyond satiating.

“You okay, sweets?” he asks, recovering quicker than me.

“Yeah,” I whisper.

“Good girl,” he kisses me on the lips. The distraction of the kiss lets me move more comfortably down his length. I make it a little bit more before I have to stop again. “You’re squeezing me so good, this pussy was made for me,” he groans when I stop, and I hide my own noises into the crook of his shoulder.

“Ben?” I mumble.

“Yeah?”

“I need help,” I whine, keeping my face hidden to hide my embarrassment.

“Aww, sweetpea,” he lets out a small laugh despite himself, furthering my angry red blush. “C’mere, look at me,” I do as he says, my thighs sore from keeping me up as I do so.

“No need to be embarrassed with me, sugar,” he says softly, before bring my lips to his, a big hand cupping the side of my head. I barely notice his other hand on my hip until he slowly starts guiding me down on him, lifting me up and down where I’m and pushing me down further and further as he does so. He muffles my whimpers and whines into the kiss, kissing me so long that I forget what it’s like to breathe.

Once he’s bottomed out and I’m properly seated on his lap does he pull away, letting me moan as loud as I need to.

“How do you feel?” he asks, his own voice strained.

“Full,” I mumble, because it’s true. He’s so all consuming in this moment, all I can concentrate on is how he fills me to the brim.

He twitches inside of me at that, his brow furrowed.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“Nothin’ baby, you just can’t be throwing around words like that,” he groans.

“You asked,” I protest.

“I know,” he retorts, kissing me again. After a few moments of sitting there on his lap, I tell him I’m ready to move a little.

“You need help, sweets?” he asks, giving me a knowing look. And I want to say no, that much is probably written on my face. Want to show him that I’m capable of bouncing on his enormous cock, but I sincerely don’t think I am.

“Maybe,” I concede sheepishly.

“That’s okay, baby,” he smiles gently, grabbing me by the hips. He slowly lifts me up his length, and I can feel my walls trying to contract around him as he moves me up, clenching him like a vice. A soft groan leaves his lips whilst various whimpers leave mine.

He keeps this gentle pace, so slow that I can feel every single inch of him slide in and slip out. Slowly the burn from the initial stretch disipates into pure pleasure that leaves me whispering his name every time he bottoms out. But eventually it’s not enough, because the thoughts of his promises creep into my empty mind, his promises of fucking me. Until I cry, until I can only remember his name and nothing else.

“Ben,” I mumble, my head still resting in the crook of his neck as he eases me up and down. “I’m ready.”

“Ready for what, pretty girl?”

Jackass. He knows damn well what, I can hear it in his voice. “I don’t want to say it,” I whine. He pulls me back so we’re eye to eye, resting me on his lap.

“I think you’re gonna have to,” he’s grinning ear to ear.

I pout, my hands resting on his chest.

“C’mon baby,” he prods, thumbing my lower lip. I take his thumb into my mouth, sucking on it. It clearly takes a lot out of him to take his finger out of my mouth, he seems to be turned on by the action.

“Fine. I want you to fuck me,” I tell him, crossing my arms.

“You’re lucky I like you so much. If anyone else were acting this bratty with me I think I’d have to teach them a lesson,” he smirks, the cocky promise clear in his eyes. Before I can retort he slips out of me, and I whine at the emptiness. I don’t like it.

Thankfully I don’t have to wait long because he lays me down, resting over me in a plank just as he was when we were “sparring.”

“Y’trust me?” His thumb comes up to meet my pulse point, his other fingers grazing across the bitten flesh of the juncture of my neck and shoulder, creating the most delicious sting. I nod frantically. “Words, baby.”

“Yes,” I whisper. His presses down barely a fraction harder, and yet it’s already enough to set me off even while being empty.

“I need you to promise me something, gorgeous,” he says, making the most intense eye contact I’ve ever seen from him.

“Okay,” I whisper.

“If you need me to stop, you tell me, okay?” His eyes are slightly wide, indicating how important to him this is. It’s easy to say: “Okay,” he has all of my trust. I kiss him for good measure, and we’re back. Fireworks gone off again halfway through as I take initiative to deepen the kiss before he can. But it doesn’t matter, because he’s stronger and so all consuming, and before I know it my mind is blank again. Blank and wanting one thing: him.

He gets up and I whine, not wanting him away from him. “Miss me already? My clingy girl,” he says affectionately, grabbing a pillow and putting it under my hips, kissing my stomach.

Settling above me once again, he lifts my legs up so that my ankles are resting on his shoulders, nearly bending me in half. But I let him, I’ll be as malleable ad he needs me to be if it’ll help him deliver on those promises.

“You sure you want this, sweets? Last chance to back out,” he tells me. I can’t believe he has the audacity to let the thought of me wanting to back out cross his mind. I’ve never wanted anyone more than I want him.

“I’m so sure. Fuck me, please,” I tell him. This is the strongest my voice has been this far, and I think he gets the memo.

“As you wish,” he grins, before sheathing himself in me in one go. I scream his name, but the noise is cut off by all air leaving my body as he thrusts into me at a literal superhuman pace. The sounds are ungodly, with every thrust a broken moan and the occasional grunt from him. He finds my g-spot with ease, slamming into it with every thrust ad he pounds me into his mattress.

“You sounds so pretty, maybe we should look into making one of those Internet videos.” I moan at the idea. I didn’t think starring in a porno would be my thing until he and his transatlantic 1950s accent suggested it.

“Yeah, everyone would want a piece of this pussy. But she’s all mine,” those last three words are punctuated with particularly hard, possessive thrusts that leave me gasping his name.

He brings his hand up to my throat once more, and the moment his thumb grazes my pulse point as it did before I realize just how much I want to come. “You like that, huh. Such a good girl,” I clench around him as he presses light pressure to my throat, and even though he’s not even done anything with my clit and it’s been maybe two minutes I’m coming hard and all-consumingly. It washes over me in waves that match Ben’s pace, seemingly getting more intense as he keeps fucking me.

“Oh sweetheart, you look so gorgeous when you make a mess of my dick. I’m hopin’ to see that five more times before the end of the night,” he tells me, but I barely hear him, too engulfed in my pleasure. He somehow adjusts the pillow under me while continuing his incessant pace and his grip on my throat and the new angle has me crying from how good it is.

“Aww, what’s the matter sweets?” he coos, knowing damn well what the matter is. It’s just too good.

“You’re so deep,” I sob, unable to gain my bearings because of how full I feel.

“Don’t I know it,” he groans, going impossibly harder. Eventually he takes his hand from my throat, and I whine, until he brings it down to my clit.

“Make it a good one, beautiful,” he winks with a click of his tongue before skillfully rubbing circles into my sensitive bud.

“Ben, it’s too much-,” I protest, but all it takes is a few more circles and I’m coming undone around him again. I’m both hyperaware of my tears soaking my face and the burn from the position of my legs but also on the verge of unconsciousness with how good it all feels. My legs are quivering around him but he doesn’t seem to mind.

“You’re okay, sweet girl, taking it so well,” he mumbles against my lips, kissing away my tears. I’d never had a lay so good that the guy had to reassure me that I was okay because I was shaking and crying uncontrollably from just how good it was. But then again, prior to tonight, I’d never had a lay with Ben.

He quickly brings me to the edge again, his fingers fast on my clit and his thrusts deeper than ever. When I come I can’t say his name, I can’t say much of anything because my mind is blank. Fuzzy, syrupy, I feel almost soft while the only noises I can make are little whimpers as he just keeps going. And I fucking love it.

“‘m gonna come,” he warns, and I muster enough of my bearings to tell him ‘please.’ He gladly obliges, coming with a loud grunt of my name, bottoming out so far inside me that he may damn well be in my cervix. I can feel it leaking out of me, and even in my fucked out stupor I can remember to moan. It’s the hottest feeling I’ve ever felt. He slowly pulls out then, gently easing my legs down.

I look up at him with questioning eyes, wondering why he doesn’t go for another three like he was planning to.

“Don’t want to break you on the first night, sugar,” he says, sweetly cupping my face in his hands. “I know you don’t feel it right now but you’re gonna be real sore in a couple hours.”

I pout, unsure of how to react to that. My legs are still shaking and while I do feel tired I’m still turned on.

Okay, maybe there’s dull ache.

“Oh, don’t pout. There’s other nights, and I’m gonna take care of you,” he smiles softly.

“Okay,” I whisper, finally regaining enough sense to talk.

He leans down to kiss me, softly this time. I melt into the kiss, and that’s when I realize: I don’t just want Ben. I think the feelings might be deeper. Maybe I… love? him.

But hey. There’s other nights.

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As a bonus, cause I love y’all: if we can get 250 notes on this post by the end of the poll time then I will do a spicy soldier boy fic with whichever of these gets the most votes. If we can somehow get to 400 I’ll do the top two! No kink shaming, okay? 🥹🎀

In the meantime, if you want more Soldier Boy try Taming the Supe!! <3

For fans of Big Sky!Jensen, part two of 2SC (aka my favorite project thus far) should be coming out next!

And don’t forget, asks/requests/thoughts/thots are always open!!

[appl3-juice-box]

OKAY OKAY IM GETTING MY FRIEND TO WATCH UNDERVERSE FOR THE FIRST TIME AND SHE DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHAT UNDERTALE IS SO HER OUT OF CONTEXT COMMENTARY IS SO FUCKING AMAZING I HAVE TO DOCUMENT IT AND MY EXPLANATIONS

For context, anything in () will be my explanations

@speak-now-girlies-unite because she said to tag her

is he wearing slippers omg this is amaxing

omg love me a male wife 🤭

soul absorption fancy (Yeah that basically means "haha I stole half of your life source lol, now gimme the other half and die")

i love the name ink so much

DID HE JUST THROW UP IN HIS EXCITEMENT OF TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING???? JUST LIKE ME FRFR (YEAH THATS WHAT HE DOES ITS KINDA QUIRKY)

crying? bb boy let me buy you a hamster to wipe your tears with

cross omg cool name

omg is that the error guy (YEA THATS THE ERROR GUY![I had previously talked about him]) YEAH (HES HOT RIGHT?) YEAH (YEAH)

the white/red soul thing is making me zzzzbrrrrr in interest (Ohohoho, youre gonna love this) that makes me also zzzbrrr in interest

samn that’s kinda sad i wanna write fanfiction about his sad life

oh my god is that a real life skater boy, with a backwards cap am i hallucinating (THATS FRESH HES SO FUCKING COOL)

he has a backwards cap (ITS GOT A LITTLE PROPELLER ON TOP TOO) does it really omg (YEAH) WOO

dark spaghetti thing ?? (which one, the emo?) Yeah I think so *intermission to find what the dark spaghetti is* (THATS NOT THE EMO THATS NIGHTMARE IM CRYING) seems pretty emo to me (trust me there's more)

OH MY GOD THE SUN PERSON >>>> (THE SUN PERSON I CANT) HES EXISTEDIN MY BRAIN FOR FIVE SECONDS I LOVE HIM

HIS NAME IS PAPYRUS??? LIKE THE ANCIENT EGYPTIAN SCROLLS? (THE PAPYRUS FONT AND COMIC SANS THATS WHY SANS MAKES JOKES) OHHHH

ketchup???

OH YMG SO THE SUN PERSONS BACK!!! His name is dream ? (Yes his name is dream) funsies🤭✨ (dream and nightmare) omg that makes sense

also i recognize that you’ve told me about them before right? (yes I have) 🤭

second person pov>

the shot of ink blinking at sans and frisk’s convo>>>>

officially frisk is my daughter

ink makes my brain go so vrrbbbbb (Ink makes my brain want to slaughter him /lh) oh damn what does he do😔 ... ACTUALLY don’t tell me i’ll find out<3

NOT THE FALLEN DOWN STOP💔💔💔 (YEAH FALLEN DOWN IS ORIGINALLY FROM UNDERTALE) YEAH I KNEW THAT I SHOULDVE PREPARED MYSELF SKDNDJ

(have you seen the emo yet?) he sounds kinda like a five year old having a tantrum he looks cool though (the golden tooth boi? Yeah thats him) funnnn

oo getting hyped up

omg fight scene? slay

omg x event - no clue what that is but it sounds cool

more soul absorption

i have mixed feelings on that word because as much as it’s cool it reminds me of the word moist

heart ?

he’s got that swagger that only people who talk in comic sans can have

re e e ed re e e ed

“sleeping is more fun than corrupting timelines” sleeping is more fun than a lot of thng - but i feel like corrupting timelines would be fun

is sans gay😨❓

i feel like i’m reading this wrong

manipulate manwhore mansplain

his special attack- he turns into an anime girl with plot armor - oh no he just pulls a rachel dare funsies

he saved the day with the power of bad puns (And a slipper) And a slipper

(Also who tf were you asking who was gay for who) idk who tf he is but he was like “there was this guy” and that was my first thought sjsnskdnsk😭 (WHICH GUY WHATD HE LOOK LIKE???) IDK EVIL??? (WAS HE THE TALL MOTHER FUCKER WITH WEIRD BLACK STRIPEY EYES THAT MET WITH INK? I NEED TO KNOW BECAUSE HE MIGHT BE GAY) -proceeds to investigate who the supposed gay man is- (I WAS RIGHT IT IS THE TALL MOTHER FUCKER WITH WEIRD BLACK STRIPEY EYES) WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? (IM A FFUCKING GENIUS WITH GUESSING THIS SHIT) GOOD OR BAD? (no he's not gay, you'll find more about him later)

god he’s a mood

OO THE ERROR GUY

go girl give us nothing

This is just from the first two episodes, be ready for more

[sandupommelfrog]

how good mdzs/the untamed characters are at standup comedy

Wei Wuxian: 10/10

Wei Wuxian is great at standup comedy, obviously. He canonically makes very clever literary references and puns when naming things, so I think he’d have a great set, mostly improv’d which just makes it more impressive. He’s making witty cultural references and long-winded stories that have a genuis punch line at the end, and maybe pokes too much fun at certain *cough* audience members, but it’s not like weird transphobic ‘comedy.’ Wei Wuxian would also have so many buckwild stories to tell, and most audience members just think he’s bullshitting them, but then they get home and check his wikipedia page and learn he’s for realsies and has been declared dead three times.

Jiang Cheng: 2/10 on his own and 9/10 w Wei Wuxian

So, Jiang Cheng has negative desire to do standup comedy. He’s in the spotlight, he has to be charismatic, he has to not fuck it up, and it’s a nightmare for him. It’s also a nightmare for the audience as he stutters and becomes increasingly awkward and distressed. It’s like watching a traincrash:  it’s horrible but you can’t look away. He’ll never to do standup-- except at Wei Wuxian’s behest. Their double act is mostly Wei Wuxian pulling the weight, and Jiang Cheng making excellent dry and snide commentary. It’s some good banter with the lads. They’re the Twin Comedians of Yunmeng.

Jiang Yanli: 5/10

I don’t think Yanli has any desire to really do standup, but I think if she did, she’d be pretty nervous but have some charming stories to tell of cooking mishaps when learning new recipes or funny things a-Ling did. Honestly, it feels more like one of those radio segments where someone just talks about a poignant moment in their lives, and it’s really nice and enjoyable and you get a really strong idea of who she is and how she loves and it’s beautiful. It’s not really comedy but, like, Jin Zixuan and her brothers are ready to throw hands if you disagree or heckle her.

Jin Zixuan: 2/10

Jin Zixuan thinks he can do standup comedy until the faithful day, where he walks on stage for the first time and realizes he has no idea what he’s doing. It’s awkward and it’s pretty snobby and it’s not doing him any favors in the ‘getting Yanli’s brothers to like him’ department. If Jiang Cheng is a sopping wet scrunkly and pathetic cat, Jin Zixuan is the weird birthday gift your out of touch relatives who you see once in a blue moon give you. ‘An avacado.... thanks....’

Lan Wangji: 5/10 with Wei Wuxian

In regards to standup, Lan Wangji is an immovable object. You cannot get him to even consider going on stage, and yet, Wei Ying is his unstoppable force. Like his set with Jiang Cheng, Lan Wangji mostly just stands there for commentary, but doesn’t really have JC’s snark, so it’s not as sharp, not as funny, but it’s pretty cute watching them do a set together until they’re making bedroom eyes at each other onstage and are 2 seconds away from passionately making out on stage.

Lan Xichen: 6/10

Lan Xichen is more charismatic, more personable than his brother, but he still has the Lan Weirdness. His standup set is passable, kind of basic, and is mostly carried by his innate charisma and stunningly good looks. Su She is so pissed about this. What really makes his act memorable however, is that every once in a while, he tells a really weird fucking story about his family like it’s nothing. The audience is collectively shocked and confused and leaves the bar thinking ‘his dad did what?!’

Nie Mingjue: 4/10

Nie Mingjue will only get on stage if Huaisang begs him too, which unfortunately for him, is far too often, or if Lan Xichen asks, which is equally bad. I feel like Nie Mingjue has a specific brand of humor you kind of have to be friends with him to get, and he doesn’t quite have the charisma to do a good set, but he knows the ropes from how many times Huaisang has made him get on stage. Xichen asked him and Jin Guangyao for all of them to do a set together, and.... everyone in the room was uncomfortable during that. Never again.

Jin Guangyao: 8/10

Jin Guangyao can do a good standup set. Of course he can! He knows how to tailor the jokes and the bits to the audience and build up a good rapport. But at what cost? Everytime he gets on stage and smiles his customer service smile to do another ~fun standup comedy night~ a part of himself dies that he will never get back. Lan Xichen has learned his lesson in asking both his boyfriends for a standup threesome, but he still asks a-Yao if he wants to get on stage, either alone or with him. He’ll do it for Xichen, but he is still suffering.

Nie Huaisang: 10/10

This bitch is hilarious even though he’s not the biggest fan of the spotlight. Nie Huaisang is great at clever humor and cultural references with a signature blend of self-deprecating jokes that are light hearted and funny and never get too weird and self-loathing. He definitely plays up a ditzy persona, but has the receipts on everyone in the room, and while he will only pull them out at the right moment, if it calls for that, he isn’t afraid to do it.

Jin Zixun: -99999/10

He just makes shitty offensive ‘jokes’ that deliberately provoke and punch down audience members. Midway through his first set, Wei Wuxian punches him and Yanli verbally destroys him. After that, everyone is ready to kick the shit out of him, physically or emotionally, when he even so much as glances at the stage.

Su She: 1/10 or 7/10

I think Su She is either really bad at standup or really good, and no one admits that he’s actually hot shit. On the bad side of the spectrum, it’s another Jin Zixuan. On the good side of the spectrum, he’s making really witty commentary and carefully placed and wondrously executed bits, but because he was kind of cringey in middle school, no one wants to admit that he actually really is All That. Either way, Jin Guangyao is coming to all of his shows, front row seat, cheering his bestie and maybe sort of boyfriend on.

Wen Ning: N/A

I get really big stagehand or stage tech energy from Wen Ning. I think he’s too anxious and doesn’t really want to be on stage or do stand up comedy. I think he thinks standup is kind of cringey, but he’ll never say it to anyone’s face. I think Wen Ning would excel at funny written reviews of things.

Wen Qing: N/A

She would only get on stage for Wen Ning, and he would never ask that of her. I think like many others here, it’s not her thing, she doesn’t want it to be her thing, and she’ll watch her friends but not get into it more. Wei Wuxian thinks she’s hilarious and tries to get her onstage, but she will never humor him, except maybe if he’s super depressed b/c he misses his siblings. I think, her comedy wheelhouse is commentary reviews/banter. Like if she ever made a commentary podcast with Jiang Cheng where they just watch and bitch about marvel movies or something, it’d be a fucking hit.

I don’t know what the Yi City gang would do, but I keep thinking of Xue Yang saying ‘I’m da joker baybee’ and talking about how it’d be so crazy if the joker could be beatbox, and Song Lan and a-Qing fucking hate it.

[rons-wheezely]

224 || G.W.

George Weasley x Reader, Soulmate AU

Genre: Fluff, humor

Summary: Each soulmate pair receives a special number to them, and them only, on the day they’re born into this world. The placement on the body can vary, so people usually keep to themselves unless they fancy someone or it’s displayed somewhere public. How do you go around explaining to your best friend that he’s the one?

A/N: i have been so inactive, I’m so sorry rip I am going to try to post a fic here and there, but I’m still a student doing student things... This blog recently turned 2 years old, and has reached about 300 followers, so thank you so much for those of you who have found me in the piles of other wonderful works :) I love you all from the bottom of my heart.

--x--

“Oh, do forgive me, Georgie,” you playfully shove him out of the way. He stumbles away from the shelf containing the last package of Fizzing Whizbees in time for you to snatch it into your hands. You hear him chuckle as he regains his balance behind you. It’s suffocatingly crowded with fellow students in Honeydukes, so he leans in close so you can hear him. 

His warm breath comes close to your ear, saying with a soft laugh,” At least share, alright?”

You tapped your chin thoughtfully as the smile plastered on your face turned into a smirk. You make your way to the cashier with George close behind. The candy in the box shake in your hands, and the decorative ring you’re wearing on your middle finger glimmers in the shop’s light. You call over your shoulder,” If you win the next match against Slytherin, I might.” 

This statement alone had George fist pump the air in satisfaction. Even if he lost, you would most likely share it anyways –– to cheer him up, of course. You two have been best friends since your first year when you cleverly evaded one of the twins’ pranks. It was a lucky guess, but the outcome left Fred and George tangled in a mess of burping up slugs for three hours. It was an easy friendship after that, other than the secret feelings you harbored for George, that is. 

Soon enough, the match came and the sight was an absolutely thrilling one. You watch as each player flies by, and each time the wind sweeps your hair in every direction. Fred and George are on a spectacular streak, and they never once miss the bludger. Thankfully you had a pair of binoculars and Lee Jordan’s commentary; the team was so small in the air that it was hard to tell what was happening.

Harry Potter was no doubt going to catch the snitch, and here he comes now swooping in underneath his teammates. He’s almost flat against his broomstick, urging it to go faster before Malfoy could get to the fluttering golden speck. All eyes are on Potter, and the boy is mere inches away. Just as his nimble fingers wrap around the snitch, another Gryffindor teammate drops from the air.

You can hear the subtle gasps from a few in the crowd who noticed. The Gryffindor team were too enraptured with Harry’s catch to notice that one of them was dropping ten, twenty, thirty meters to the ground. “George!” You cried.

As if sending a telepathic message to the other twin, though it is most likely he heard you yell as clear as day, Fred swoops down to save his brother from impact. You notice now that you're standing on your feet and leaning on the railing that separates you from your best friends on the field. You watch on in horror as Fred barely makes it in time. The breath you didn’t know you were holding finally escapes you, and your surroundings come back all at once. 

You hear the deafening silence and the sound of the wind blowing by. No one moves as they watch Fred land on the ground with George. It was Lee who ended the tension,” And with that, Gryffindor earns 130 points and has won the match…” 

All at once, everyone in the stands scrambles to get out. Elated with Harry’s catch and the twins’ safety, the student body goes their separate ways. You follow them as well and weave your way through the crowd to get to Fred and George. Panic fills your lungs, and every fiber in your body screams to make sure they’re okay.

“Fred!” You call out,” Are you two alright?”

“Yeah, no harm done to me,” he sighs,” –– Other than this git. A bludger whacked him straight on the side and he passed out on his ride down.” 

“It looks like it hurts… but it’s nothing Madame Pomfrey can’t handle, right?” You wince. You try to convince yourself that George is just sleeping a very deep, restful sleep.

“I reckon he’ll be fine, y/n.” Fred winks your way with a sly grin. “Visit him lots, yeah?”

Madame Pomfrey refused to let anyone in until she was done running some tests. When she finally let you visit, you rushed to sit next to George’s bedside. He stirred at your frantic movements and opened an eye to see you. “It’s not that bad is it?” He chuckles.

“She said that you’ve broken a few ribs, but you’ll be alright.” You smile. 

George sits up slowly, pretending to be in agonizing pain. You worry for a bit and reach out to him on instinct, but he laughs and tells you he’s okay. His torso is wrapped entirely with gauze over his clothes, and there are a few bandages wrapped around his forearms as well. Pomfrey had drawn a blanket over George earlier, so the white sheet still covered the lower half of his body. A moment goes by, and you hear a soft wheeze leaving George’s lips. “You don’t suppose my soulmate is into beaten up ginger-heads, do you?”

“Well,” you mull over your words. Pretending to take his question seriously, you answer,” they would have if you were Fred..” You laugh a little as you catch the glint in his eyes –– the mischievous one you had grown to love. 

“Oh, if only I looked exactly like that bloke.” He jokes. His head falls a little forward as he laughs. His gaze is drawn to his lap, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d say that he looked like those shy love interests in romantic muggle films. 

You notice that his fiery hair is covering his eyes, and your body compels you to get another glimpse of that wonderful boy’s face. Ever so gently, you reach your hand out and tuck a strand of his hair behind his ear. When your fingers curve around the back of his ear, you notice a few dark marks of what looks like a tattoo. Your eyebrows furrow together in confusion. You go to move more of his hair out of the way, but he turns his eyes to you. 

“Are you getting handsy with me y/n? Tryin’ to make a move, are you?” He smiles, but there is a small panic in his eyes as they frantically search yours. “You could’ve just asked me out, you know.”

“Is that your soulmate mark?” You ask.

“Maybe.”

“Well,” you huff playfully,” I might be able to tell you who your soulmate is. I might cry if your soulmate is Madame Pomfrey, though.”

“Is that a bad thing?” He asks, a playful tone in his voice.

"Georgie, please don’t tell me you have a thing for milfs.”

It takes everything in him to hold back his laughter. George pulls his hair back to reveal the numbers 224 etched behind his left ear. Your breath catches in your throat, but you try to hide your very obvious shock. 224 was a number you knew too well, and seeing that number reflected on your best friend’s skin meant that your deepest feelings were true. It’s okay to be in love with George because now... now there is chance he feels the same way.

Your mark is tattooed on the band of your middle finger, which is usually covered up by jewelry. You fidget with your rings nervously, trying to ground yourself all the while. George doesn’t pay too much attention to it when he says,“Fred has his numbers on his right ear. I might be the right-hand man, but he’s lucky enough to be the right-ear man.”

You laugh at his really bad pun,” Really? Out of all of the ear jokes, you chose that one?” 

“It made you laugh, didn’t it?” He nudges you with his shoulder, and you can’t help but giggle some more.

“Would you like to hear a fun fact?” You ask. You gulp down all of the fear that has started to swallow you whole. You are George’s soulmate. The idea buzzes in your head along with a million other thoughts. George nods for you to continue, and you fight the panicked urge to scream. “...In the muggle world, they have such advanced technology.”

“Yeah, dad would know––” George interjects for a second.

“The numbers 224 actually hold a meaning to them. It’s something like a code–– it’s related to their fancy devices I think? Anyways,” you take a deep breath. You remember vividly the details your friend went to great lengths explaining to you. 

“Your number is all kinds of special, y/n!” Mae beams at you. Her eyes twinkle in an amusing manner as she tries to prove herself. A soft thud could be heard when her hands meet with the common room table, and she quickly jumps to her feet. “Imagine, having such a fantastic number as that!” She exclaims with awe.

“I don’t understand?” You bemusedly remark. Why would numbers hold more meanings beyond your standard soulmate reason?

“My brother loves binary code, a certain muggle science,” she explains,” and he told me a few meanings. One of them being yours! Now, if only fate would tell us who your soulmate was...”

If Mae were in this room, she would be bursting at the seams from pure glee. You look into George’s eyes and say,” ...the numbers actually mean something along the lines of ‘Today, Tomorrow, Forever.’ It has to do with the bond you and your soulmate have together.“

He blinks once or twice before breaking out into a grin,” Okay, can you say it again but,” he emphasizes,” simpler, maybe?

“––it means that your soulmate will love an accident-prone idiot like you forever and always,” You joke halfheartedly.

The familiar gleaming smile he wore after a successful prank creeps up onto his face: one of self satisfaction and deserving of many awards based on looks alone. His smile is much gentler and you almost miss it, but a blush tints the very tips of his cheeks. “Oh? wait ‘till dad finds out that numbers have meanings to muggles. How’d you know all of this anyway?”

“Oh, it’s just something my friend talked to me about.” You dismiss his questioning gaze and clear your throat. Every second that passes makes you more and more anxious being around George, simply just by knowing you two are soulmates. It’s a dream come true, sure. But how do you go around explaining to your best friend that he’s the one?

“Are you alright, y/n?” George asks. “You seem real fidgety. Do you need to go somewhere?”

“Oh–– no, it just that,” you gulp. “Well.. I think left the Fizzing Whizbees back in my dorm room.” You lie. You know it’s in your bag with your other belongings, safely tucked away for later consumption. “Post-game snacks are essential, and I did make a promise.”

“Are you sure you left it there? I thought I saw it in your bag...” He leans over to find your bag, and sure enough, he pulls out the box of candy.

“Oh.” You look at him. There’s an awkward pause before he clears his throat.

“You’ve really got to get yourself together mate–– looks like Nearly Headless Nick showed you his neck hole again or something.” George jokes to lighten the mood, but he’s right. The longer you sit there and stare at him, the more you either want to slam your lips against his or vomit profusely. You feel pale and sickly; just enough to feel the twists and turns of your stomach. Is this what having butterflies feel like? He opens the bag of candy and offers you some.

You share the box of whizbees with him, taking one out and popping them into your mouth. It fizzes and jolts a little as the sweet taste melts on your tongue. “I think maybe Fred slipped something to me earlier,” you avert your gaze,” I’m not sure.”

“Yeah, sounds like Fred.” George grabs your hand and looks you in the eyes. He’s rubbing soothing circles on your hands, and it does seem to relax some of your nerves. He looks at you softly and gently, and all at once, your anxiety starts to melt away in his presence. You almost forget why you’re so worried in the first place. “You know I’m not going anywhere. If you have to take a massive shit, I’ll wait for you.” He says as he pats your hand reassuringly.

You erupt into laughter and shove him away. “And here I thought we were having a moment.”

“Nothing says true love like bowl movements, darling.”

As the laughter dies down, the somber feeling in your gut returns. It’s now or never, right? “George, I think I need to tell you something. I—“

Fred bursts into the door with Lee following shortly behind. “There’s my favorite twin!” He beams. He gets a disapproving look from Madame Pomfrey peering around the corner from her office. Fred doesn’t pay much attention, choosing to walk past her with barely a glance over his shoulder. George rolls his eyes as Fred happily trots over, spilling some liquid from two mugs in his hands. “—had to have Lee help sneak these in for the party, which you lot are missing out on.” He hands you a mug of butter beer and George, the other.

You decide to drop the subject even after George was free from the hospital bed. It’s a few weeks since then, and school has made you push those thoughts of pesky soulmates and true love aside. Of course, George kept looking at you funny, waiting for you to bring it up again. To his dismay, you didn’t.

“Alright everyone, class is dismissed.” Professor Sprout announces as she busies herself in setting up plants for the next day. It’s the last class of the day, and you couldn’t be happier. Repotting plants was hard work, and you were sweaty enough as it is. Beads of sweat dripped down the side of your face, and as much as you hated it, it did make for good eye candy across the room — namely George, although there’s a lot of dirt smudged onto his face too.

He’s cleaning up rather quickly so you call out to him,” Can you grab my rings, Georgie? They’re over there by my bag.” You had to remove jewelry in order to “safely handle” the creatures and wear proper gloves. Those of which you hastily pull off to wash your hands. The suds come and go as you lather and rinse away in the sink.

“Today, tomorrow, forever eh?” George’s deep voice rumbles in your ear. You jump a little at the sudden scare. “I think I like the sound of that, don’t you?”

You turn your head a little to the side and come very close to George’s face. You can feel his breath fanning on your skin, and his nose is just barely touching yours. You fear that if you blink, the sight in front of you will vanish. Every freckle that glitters his skin is so close you could count them like the stars and draw constellations between them if you wanted to. It’s absolutely breathtaking. Your body feels like it’s on a cloud— so feather light and airy— as he smiles at you. Your throat is dry; your tongue struggles to keep up with your thoughts. “...what?” You choke out. You cover your hands on impulse, but you know it’s too late.

“It means you’re stuck with me forever, y/n.” He grins. “Soulmate magic is no joke, you know.” He hands you your rings and walks beside you out of the greenhouse. You slip the rings on to your middle finger where it’s always resided, deciding to fidget with it a little.

Nothing should be different. You’re walking with George in the hallways like you always do, your hair is no different than yesterday, and class was the same as an other day. And yet your heart is beating faster and the sun seems to shine brighter. The grass is greener and the lake bluer than it was this morning. Words remain unspoken, but the truth is there. His fingers are interlocked with yours. 224.

[collecting-stories]

Tears Won’t Cry - c. 07 - JJ Maybank

Summary: You and JJ have sex for the first time and you hear something you’d rather not.

A/N: This chapter clocks in at a whopping 5.8k...I took some serious time with it so I hope you guys like it and, as always, thank you for reading. 

You Are Ok Masterlist | Outer Banks Masterlist

✞ We’ll borrow happiness just for the night ✞

The more you thought about JJ’s offer the more tempting it seemed. Doing chores around the house, cooking, doing lessons, practicing piano for church, it didn’t matter what you were doing, that little voice in the back of your mind crept in, telling you that going with JJ would be the ultimate freedom. You wouldn’t have anyone telling you what to wear or who to talk to or what to do. 

Your mom would tell you that was the voice of the ‘enemy’, the great evil that had turned Eve from god and caused immeasurable destruction. Every time the outside world came a little too close to the bubble your parents had created your mom claimed it was the work of the devil, persecuting her for her beliefs.  

And didn’t Jesus spend forty days and forty nights in the desert resisting temptation from the very same devil? Hadn’t you been brought up in the church, taught the way of the Lord and encouraged, every day to resist those temptations that threatened your way of life? But here you were, spending every waking moment consumed with the idea of JJ. Maybe Jesus had survived out there but you were sure you couldn’t, not having been with JJ the way you had.  

The one cardinal sin of your family, maybe more than anything else, was premarital intimacy. Sex was supposedly only good if you were married and then only intended for reproduction or for pleasing a husband. It was, according to both your parents, the most sacred part of yourself that you could give away. And even with the amount of thought you had given it, the careful consideration of your feelings and your future, you imagined burning in a holy fire or turning to salt like Lot’s wife were the only options left for you if you ever told them that you had given that part of yourself to JJ.  

-

You had mulled over the decision for three nights, had even considered praying about it though you were sure that wasn’t the sort of prayer you addressed to God, but on the fourth night you were certain. Sitting there on the non-bunk bed in your room, listening to the sound of the faucet running as JJ brushed his teeth. You knew nothing about flirting techniques or subtle seduction...you really didn’t know anything about sex at all. Your approach so far, with every part of your relationship with JJ, had just been straightforward.  

So, you were straightforward again. When JJ came out of the bathroom, shutting off the hall light and leaving your door slightly cracked the way you had told him you liked it to be, you sat up more against the head board, “I think I’m ready.”

“For?”  

“For...us to have sex.” You stumbled over the words, sounding less sure out loud than you were in your head. You knew this was what you wanted; JJ was what you wanted. Even if you loved someone else someday down the line you wanted this moment to belong to the two of you.  

“Right now?” JJ asked, hand still on the door knob.  

“Well. I don’t really know how to initiate sex so…whatever you usually do.” You replied shrugging your shoulders.  

JJ let the door stay open, leaving it to cross the room and sit down on the side of the bed. You moved closer to him, sitting sideways and letting one leg hanging over the edge, toes brushing the cold hard wood as you stared at each other. Maybe that was all that would happen, you would stare for a while, both too unsure to make the next move, until finally just resigning yourselves to sleep. JJ had always been confident in bed but this was different, everything about it felt like he was treading in uncharted territory, emotionally there was no way back from this once he jumped off the cliff.  

He  brought his hand up to your cheek like he’d done a thousand times before, leaning forward to kiss you. He could taste the floral chapstick you had on, a little tacky against his own lips as his tongue ran across your bottom lip. You had kissed before, made out with him pretty heavily, and though you still felt timid about somethings you tried to push that aside, shifting closer to him while breaking the kiss, biting his bottom lip as you did, JJ’s eyes opening for a second in surprise. The surprise gave way to pleasure as you kissed his neck, nudging the collar of his shirt out of the way with your nose in an attempt to access more skin.  

“Here,” Eager to witness you in charge of this moment, JJ broke away to pull his shirt over his head, tossing it across the room. You smiled, a quick kiss to his lips before you were back to his neck and shoulders, the skin there tan and freckled from the sun. JJ hooked his hand under your thigh, pulling you toward him until you got the idea, hooking an arm around him for stability as you straddled his lap.  

You resumed your work, alternating between leaving light kisses over the freckles on his shoulders and bruising the skin around his collar, gentle first and then eager and insatiable. Your other hand rested against his abs and you could feel his breaths under your touch, heavy and impatient. You were too afraid to ask him if anything you were doing felt good because you were afraid it didn’t. You knew you couldn’t kiss him forever but you would’ve been happy too, his skin was warm and when you scraped your teeth against his collar the moan he let out sounded heavenly. You could’ve listened to him for an eternity.  

JJ caught your face in his hands, kissing you again and then leaning his forehead against yours. He liked you in control but right then, “can I?” He asked, one hand going to the hem of the shirt you were wearing for bed.  

“Yeah,” you weren’t entirely sure how to proceed anyway, you were happy to let him lead. Before he could pull the shirt off, you let your leg drop off the bed, finding solid ground and stepping backward off his lap. JJ pouted, grabbing at you but you backed out of his reach. You gripped the hem of your shirt, keeping eye contact with JJ as you lifted it over your head, dropping it down by your feet.  

You had imagined plenty of times that the first time you would ever undress in front of a guy it would be on your wedding night and it would be a dress that they were unzipping you from. Instead, it was an old gray t-shirt with a pun about Jesus on the front that your brother Robert had gotten at a youth retreat. Nothing special by far. But JJ looked at you like you hung the stars. He reached his hand out, grabbing yours and pulling you back to the bed. He stood you between his legs, hands on your hips.  

“You alright?” JJ asked, looking up at you and smiling, thumbs rubbing circles into your hips. He was sitting there, staring at you almost entirely naked, standing in front of him and he felt like his mouth had gone dry. Frozen in some form as just the person who gets to look and he knew what a momentous thing that was for you. Just to let him see you this way.  

You nodded, resting one hand on his shoulder, the other cupping his cheek and he turned his face into your palm to kiss you. The confirmation that you were okay and that the look in your eye was one of complete desire and love was the only motivation that JJ needed, pulling you into his lap again, his hands running up to your waist to hold you as he brought both of you further onto the bed.  

In the prelude to sex JJ had plenty of opening lines, commentary on how hot a girl was or how she made him feel but as you kissed him again, twisting off his lap so your back was on the bed and you guide him on top of you, it all felt indescribable. JJ settled for an “I love you,” whispered into your skin as he pressed his lips to your collar, one hand moving up the expanse of your stomach while the other held him over you.  

“I love you too,” your response sounded breathless, a result of JJ’s trail of kisses down to your chest. His right hand groped your right breast, thumbing brushing over your nipple repeatedly  as his mouth closed the other one, pressing his tongue flat against it. The sensation was enough to have you squirm under him, tensing slightly, biting down on your lip as you griped the shorter hairs at the back of his head.  

He pulled away, the cool area of the room chilling you as he switched his concentration, kissing just below your breast before his mouth to the other, hand moving to hold your side as you moaned at the feeling of his mouth on you. “Your so sensitive,” JJ commented, tone conveying the awe he felt as he continued to lavish your breasts with attention.  

JJ kissed you like it was an art form, like you were something delicate and he wanted to take his time to savor every part of you. His mouth moved across your stomach, kissing parts of you that you harbored insecurities about. He stopped his appreciation of your body when he reached your underwear, resting his chin on your stomach as he looked up at you. Waiting. He’d moved himself almost off the bed, halfway to a kneel your legs hanging off the bed on either side of him. You pushed yourself onto your elbows, looking down at him as he smiled at you.  

“This is what you want?” He had to be sure, wanted to hear you tell him you wanted him as much as you trusted him, as much as you loved him.  

“Yes.” You felt the rush of a chill down your spine as JJ kissed the inside of your right thigh, his fingers slipping around the hem of your underwear to pull them down. Nothing spectacular, in fact-

“It’s not Thursday,” JJ laughed, reading the printed text on the front of your underwear. A gift four years ago, you still retained half the collection.  

“Saturday sort of, got ruined by an early period.” You laughed, lifting your head up again, “is there usually this much talking during sex?”  

“Shush,” JJ teased, nipping at the sensitive skin below your stomach. Though he didn’t say it then, any girl he’d been with before had kept themselves some level of shaved but you had obviously never felt the need to. It was no real difference to him, or so he discovered as he kissed the insides of your thighs again. As he did he pushed your legs a little further apart slating them on either side of his shoulders. You were still propped up on your elbows, watching him in fascination. No one, yourself included, had ever touched you like JJ was.  

The most comprehensive sex education had skimmed over details of actual sex, promising that your future husband would know your body well enough to teach you about it on your wedding night. If Timothy had even crossed your mind while this was happening, you certainly wouldn’t have drawn any conclusions to him being this skilled.  

You moaned unexpectedly, surprise laced with something else, something far more primal as JJ parted your lower lips, middle finger gently running up your slit, coating it in pre-cum, ghosting a circle around your clit. Your right thigh brushed his arm and moved onto his shoulder as the minute sensation had you trying to close your legs. JJ leaned his head against the same thigh, turning just enough that he could brush a kiss against your skin.  

“I got you.” He promised.

As he continued, thumb brushing over your clit as he worked in slow circles, savouring the moment, hyper aware of every twitch, moan, or movement of your body, you fell back off your elbows. You laid flat on your back, hands gripping at sheets as JJ fingered you. He picked up the pace of his thumb, pressing a little harder as he did, his middle finger slipping back into your entrance, the movement slow but still making you jerk slightly, pressing your heel into his back.  

“It’s okay,” JJ shushed, kissing you leg down to the apex of your thigh, “your okay.”  

You hummed in response, in no position to use any actual words. He slipped his middle finger further inside, slowly letting you adjust to the feeling. JJ had never been this careful during sex but couldn’t deny that it was arousing in itself, taking his time, focused solely on the way you felt and not some endgame-moment-of-ecstasy. He added another finger and you squeezed your eyes shut, tensing at the feeling for a split second but it left just as quickly as it came.  

JJ was off his knees, hovering over you, kissing your nose and then your mouth. “It’s okay,” he promised, “are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you were already breathing heavy, eyes fluttering open just enough to look at him. JJ’s expression softened as he moved again, hooking an arm around around you and helping you sit up, pressing his lips to your forehead.  

“Not tonight?” He asked, before you could even form the words. He climbed onto the bed more so he could sit you in his lap, grabbing his discarded shirt and pulling it over your head as you caved into him.  

“I thought I was ready.” You admitted, wrapping your arms around him, “I just-“  

“It doesn’t have to be right now…it doesn’t even have to be soon. Whenever you’re ready.” JJ replied.  

“Yeah but what about you?”  

JJ shrugged, “I’d be happy with whatever you’re willing to give me.” He admitted, “it’s not…I mean you said yourself, sex is something really important to you and, I like having sex but it’s not like that for me so…I can wait. I’m not going anywhere. You should feel like it’s what you want it to be.”  

“Can we just lay here for a while?” You asked, shifting so you could move up the bed to get beneath the covers. JJ followed suit, letting you get between him and the wall.  

With the covers up around the both of you, JJ laid on his side, head propped propped on one hand while you held the other, fingers twirling the bracelets on his wrist. A familiar one stood out, buried under intricately knotted friendship bracelets, the neon green peeking through. You pulled at it, revealing the black ichthus that was stitched onto the cheap plastic thread.  

“This is mine?” You almost laughed, holding his hand closer to your face to get a better look.  

“I know,” JJ admitted, “I stole it the first night you let me in your room. I saw it on the desk and took it.”  

“I’m not sure a WWJD bracelet is something you would need to consult on a daily basis.” You said. Of all the non-Christian people you had encountered in your seventeen years, JJ was the furthest from the church you could think of.  

“Why, what does it mean?” He asked, pressing his nose against your jaw, kissing the underside of your chin.  

“What Would Jesus Do.”

“See,” he teased, “I thought it meant ‘what would JJ do’.”  

“I think that would be WWJJD and no one would want to take that advice.” You replied, letting go of his hand to pull him into a kiss.  

JJ hovered over you as you deepened the kiss, one hand at the back of his head, keeping him close as you imitated his earlier actions, tongue running across his bottom lip. You grabbed his free hand, resting on your hip, and dragged it up, pushing it under your shirt and onto your stomach.  

“Can we see where this goes?” You asked, pulling away enough to look in his eyes.  

“Anything you want.” He promised.  

JJ’s movements were as slow as they had been last time, concealed now by the blanket that was over the two of you. He stayed close, where you could see him, kissing your neck, collar, face, lips, as he slipped his fingers into your still slick entrance.  

You moved your hands down to the waistband of his shorts. He’d changed into a pair of basketball shorts to sleep in, easier access than the cargo shorts he had on earlier. When your hand slipped past his waistband he pressed his face into your neck, his fingers stilling for a moment inside you.  

“I should tell you, I have no idea what I’m doing,” you mentioned, voice still breathless.  

JJ was tempted to tell you that it wouldn’t take much for him to lose it. “You don’t have to do anything,” he replied, kissing your throat.  

“I’ve never actually seen…” you trailed off, flustered at the thought. “I mean, in a textbook.”  

“This is the hottest pre-sex talk ever,” JJ teased, enjoying the way your breath hitched when he pulled his fingers out again, “someday, I’m gonna make you cum.” He said.  

Your eyes widened as he licked his fingers, smiling at you as he sucked them clean. JJ flopped down next to you, pushing his shorts down without any care in the world. You covered your eyes with your hands on instinct almost and JJ laughed, grabbing your wrists and pulling your hands down to his mouth so he could kiss your palms.  

“Come here.” He instructed, guiding you to straddle him, watching as you sat over his thighs. “Let me show you?”  

This, JJ decided as you wrapped your hand around his cock, thumb smearing pre-cum at the tip, was arguably the hottest thing he’d ever done in his life. He closes his hand over yours, guiding you as you stroke him, your eyes focused on the way his body responded to you. JJ’s chest and face were flushed red from arousal, his own eyes trained on you as he tried to keep his control over the situation. He didn’t want to spook you again, wanted to keep you comfortable. He had never been one to tap out early when it came to sex but he wasn’t sure how long he would truly be able to last. The condom that he’d found in his backpack after you told him you wanted to have sex and he went digging sat on your bedside table and he reached for it now.  

When he was sure you were ready, he moved your hands to his stomach, telling you to brace yourself on him. You followed his lead as you sat up onto your knees, one of his hands gripping your waist as he guided you down on his cock, the stretch of your walls around him lessened from the angle. You moaned at the feeling of him, short breaths filling the air as you gripped his sides.  

“Fuck.” You whispered the curse word, only the second time you’d ever said it though for a reason just as fitting as the first. You couldn’t think of many others that could’ve described the feeling you were experiencing.

There were a million things JJ wanted to say as he stared up at you, a thousand emotions pressing against his chest, each more in love with you than the last. He would’ve frozen this exact moment if he could’ve, just stayed like this for an eternity because how was he supposed to see you get engaged to someone else after this. Before he could get too in his head you shifted your weight forward, rolling your hips and lifting yourself up just enough that when you came back down, walls clenching around him, JJ’s hips jerked up and his hands gripped your hips tighter, fingers digging into your skin.  

“Shit, holy shit.” He muttered, coaxing you to repeat the motion. You steadied yourself with your hands on his chest, rolling your hips again. “Just like that.” The third time you tried it JJ’s grip didn’t let up, instead he took the lead, picking up your pace for you. Once you seemed to catch up to the rythmn of his movements, trying your best not to overthink anything and just focus on him, JJ dropped one of his hands. You jerked at the feeling of his fingers pushing passed your folds, thumb finding your clit again and rubbing against it.  

“Oh my god, JJ,” you moaned at the feeling of him overtaking your senses, your stomach tightening as he thrust his hips up to meet you, almost falling out of the rythmn he’d been keeping as you crested, orgasming first. Loud and panting, your hand slipped and you almost collapsed on him, the shifting angle and the way you clenched around him sending him over that edge with you.  

-

It hadn’t felt anything but natural when it happened and with anyone else you didn’t think you would’ve felt as comfortable with yourself as he made you feel. JJ didn’t rush, he wasn’t impatient or self-serving. You’d read once, in a book you read sequestered in the library away from any eyes that might recognize you, about a rather steamy romance. The book was trash but you remembered that feeling of utter confusion as you read and re-read the line about feeling ‘worshipped’. How could any one person worship another?  

The question answered itself in the way that JJ held you in the afterglow. And the pure, unadulterated bliss he felt when you placed kisses along his jaw, punctuating them with reminders of how much you loved him. He’d stayed with you those four days and at the Chateau before that, only a minute bruise near his hip still evident from the last time he was home and when you asked about it he claimed it was a surfing injury.  

“She loves you,” Kiara had argued when he told her that he had no intention of telling you about his father. He could see, in a way, why your parents wanted to shelter you. They were just trying to keep you safe, to shield you from all the unsavory parts of life and he, in that same way, for that same reason, couldn’t bring himself to tell you about his dad.  

“She won’t love that.” He was resolved to his decision. If he didn’t tell you than things could keep on going exactly the way they had been.  

But it wasn’t his dad, in fact, that had any bearing on the course of things. Meeting up with each other once your parents were home returned to be a Olympic-level obstacle. You swearing that you were headed to Kiara’s for a ‘bible study’ and promising to be home before dinner, walking instead in the direction of the Chateau.  

JJ wasn’t there yet when you knocked, John B answering the door instead. “Hey, I didn’t realize you were coming over.” He greeted, stepping out onto the patio with you, “this doesn’t bother you, does it?” He was referring to the fact that he was shirtless and you shook your head.  

“It’s fine, I mean, it is your house.” You shrugged, sitting on the arm of one of the couches. You loved hanging out with Kiara and Pope, they didn’t just feel like JJ’s friends but yours too. There was just something about John B, you could never quite get there with him.  

“JJ said your parents were out of town last week?” He asked, “Figured that was why it was so quiet here.”  

“Yeah I borrowed all the loud energy for a few days,” you laughed, “it was nice though, getting to spend time with him without having to sneak around the island.”

John B nodded, walking across the small space to look outside. He paced back over to the other couch, taking a seat on the arm, mirroring your position. With your back to the screen you couldn’t see JJ approaching the house and later it was obvious that was John B’s intent all along. “Look, you seem really nice and I don’t wanna hurt your feelings, I think you’re a really cool person,” he started, pausing at the right spot to build anticipation.  

“But?” You asked. You missed the sound of JJ’s boots on the steps for the creaky nature of the floorboards when John B stood up.  

“But he’s only dating you for a bet. Sarah bet him $200 he could get you to sleep with him.” He replied, the sound of the door slamming open the perfect punctuation to the sentence.  

“What the fuck John B!” JJ snapped, tackling his friend into the couch you were sitting on the arm of. You jumped, stumbling back a few steps, eyes wide as JJ punched John B in the ribs, pinning him down to the couch. The whole thing felt like it was playing out in slow motion but sped up at the same time. When John B finally managed to shove JJ off of him, throwing the blond to the floor, you snapped out of whatever trance it had ensnared you in.  

“JJ!” You said his name before he could even get himself back on his feet and both boys looked at you. “Is it true?”  

JJ stood up, grabbing his hat off the ground and clenching his fists around it. When he paid John B back it had been with the implied understanding that no one outside of their circle ever needed to know about the bet. Pope had urged him to tell you, insisting that maybe you would understand. But it was far too late for that. The bet was that the two of you had sex and you had and knowing about the bet did nothing but cheapen the moment.  

“Is it true?” You repeated, trying to hold tears at bay as everything felt like it was crashing around you. This was exactly why your mom believed so strongly that the outside world was innately evil.  

“It wasn’t that simple-“ JJ started to say but you cut him off.  

“Yes or no?” You snapped, voicing raising more than JJ had ever heard, even when you were freaking out over lunch with Timothy’s family, “is John B telling the truth?”  

“Yes.” JJ sighed, running a hand through his hair. You backed away from both of them and turned, pulling the door open and running down the steps. “Fuck,” he cursed, taking off after you. He called your name but you didn’t answer, going along the path he’d shown you between your house and John B’s. The moment you hit the yard he stopped, he couldn’t follow you there, as if the ground was poisonous to his touch. It was a natural repellent and he stood at the edge of the tree line, watching you head inside.  

Minutes. It took minutes, and John B deciding to be an absolute asshole, to completely pull apart the only actual relationship he’d ever been in. He wanted nothing more than to go back to the Chateau and beat the shit out of John B until he felt better but he knew, in reality, that nothing was bound to actually make him feel anything but completely broken. You were gone. JJ changed course, heading instead to Heyward’s.  

He had told Pope, while both of them were in the kitchen at John B’s, that he had slept with you for the first time. Kiara had told him, because he had blabbed to her too, that virginity was a social construct.  

“You shouldn’t make such a big deal out of it.” She’d insisted.  

“It is a big deal Kie, to her. It’s a huge fucking deal.” He had argued.  

But none of that felt like it even mattered cause he had fucked up so badly that he wasn’t entirely sure how to fix it. He could certainly chance going to your house but he didn’t want to show up too soon. If you needed time he wanted to give that to you, whatever you needed, so long as, in the end, you believed him when he told you that it was all just a mistake. The bet, not you.  

-

Kiara called JJ that night, you had come by her house after dinner, after asking your parents if you could sleep over, and apologizing for showing up at all. “I know this is shitty to do to you, JJ’s your best friend, I just…don’t have other friends to go to.” You had all but cried when Kiara hugged you, pulling you into her house.  

You certainly couldn’t call any of your siblings, even the ones you were closest too would not be understanding. All they would see was a girl who broke her vows to the church by dating, by having sex, by lying and tricking your parents. There was no possible way that anyone in your house or your family or even anyone in your church would understand your decision to, in their minds, turn your back on God to be with a boy. So you went to Kiara’s and hoped that she wouldn’t turn you away. Whatever the bet with JJ was, you felt like Kiara was a friend, someone you could count on more than anyone else in your life right now.  

“You can come over anytime, about anything.” She promised.  

“I just feel so stupid,” you confessed, sitting on the bed in her bedroom, drinking a seltzer from her secret stash behind her desk. Losing your virginity, getting drunk, crying over a boy, you’d hit all your milestones in a week. If you were sober, if you weren’t so upset, you would be able to look at it for what it was but instead you stuck in this place, grieving over something you thought was so real. “John B said it was all just a bet.”  

“What did JJ say?” Kiara asked. She knew about the bet but had felt like it was JJ’s place to tell you. Obviously, he had not.  

“That it was, that John B was telling the truth.” You replied, taking another sip.  

“Maybe you should talk to him?” She suggested. It  was a tricky line to walk down but Kiara didn’t want you to give up on JJ. She knew he had feelings for you. “I’ve been friends with JJ for a really long time, I’ve never seen him like this.”  

Kiara had known JJ since middle school and she’d watched him, since then, go through different relationships, if they could be called that. Dates required more effort than he was willing to give when they expected the same attention that he paid to his friends, quickly altering the way he approached relationships until they were just hook-ups. Just short lived moments, half the time too drunk to remember. He flirted, an empty gesture that compensated for his need to be physically close to people without him having to seem clingy.  

“I just don’t know why he didn’t tell me.” You cried. “No wonder my parents never wanted me to date, it hurts so much.”  

“I know,” Kiara lamented, crawling across the bed so she could pull you into a hug, your head resting against her shoulder as you continued to cry. It was like an endless sadness, you couldn’t imagine recovering from.  

It was when you finally fell asleep, exhausted from crying and almost entirely drunk, that Kiara finally called JJ. She left you tucked in her bed, going into the bathroom and locking the door as she sat on the closed toilet to call him. It was nearing three in the morning but he answered anyway, immediately asking if she had heard from you.  

“She took off toward her house and it’s not like I can call her or something. I followed her to her yard but I was worried her parents would see me.” JJ had hastily explained. He’d thought about going back later but when he did your mom was in the yard and he didn’t want to chance it.  

“She’s here.” Kiara replied, voice low so her parents did come snooping when they heard voices. Her mom had been dying to get some kind of gossip out of you when you first showed up.  

“John B told her about the bet.”  

“Did you explain that you gave the money back?” She asked.

“I…I just kinda got into it with John B.” He admitted. “In my defense though, she didn’t let me explain!” He knew it wasn’t your fault, you were upset, but thinking that it’d been him, by proxy, that had hurt you like that had his stomach turning.  

“I’m pretty sure finding out that the first guy you’ve ever dated or had feelings for was using you for a bet would be kind of traumatizing JJ! She doesn’t really wanna talk to anyone, she barely explained what happened, she just keeps saying how stupid she feels.” Kiara replied.  

“I just need to talk to her.”  

“Maybe just, give it some time?” She suggested.  

“I don’t have time.” JJ replied, pulling at strands of his hair as he combed his fingers through it. “She’s eighteen in a week. Her parents set her up with this guy from Tennessee and she’s going be engaged on her birthday. I can’t let her go through with it.”  

“That’s part of her life JJ, I mean, that’s what her family believes-“

“She deserves more than that!”  

“And you can provide this? I don’t wanna be that bitch Jay but, seriously? You can provide something for her that’s better than, at least, some security. Something worth giving up her entire family for?” Kiara asked. She knew she sounded awful but she couldn’t help questioning him. The last thing she wanted was you trapped into a life you didn’t want but JJ playing like everything would be rainbows and good times if you left was impractical.  

“I have a plan.”  

“And what exactly, is that?”  

“Look, I don’t fucking need you getting all high and mighty!” JJ spat, pissed as it was. Kiara had the nerve to tell him not to make such a big deal about sex but she could turn around and bitch him out for wanting to ‘interfere with your life’. He knew she was just trying to be a decent friend to you but he didn’t want her input, he just wanted her to put you on the phone.  

“You’re playing with her life here Jay…if she chooses you, if you apologize and she gets back together with you…she will never get to speak to her family again. Is that what you want?” She questioned, “to have her ostracized from her family.”  

“I want her to be happy.” JJ replied, “and to know that none of this was fake.” 

-

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[cutegirlmayra]

*Slurps on ice coffee* ey yo Mayra what's cracking? I need some good ole fashioned protective Sonic of Amy I̶'̶m̶ ̶b̶a̶s̶i̶c̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶ ̶i̶t̶ . Maybe something like the press or newspaper attack Amy's character which upset her and Sonic defends or tries to comfort her? That'd be great thanks *Puts on shades and skateboards away*

What up, homie? How’s the skate? Don’t get home to late, my man, you know how these streets be at night. OUR TOWN. That’s what’s up! -slaps hand into yours and does a bro-hold-

You can see my response and thinking for this on the Pajama Blogs! (x) Timecode: 28:12

Referencing my fanfiction: Trying to ‘Tap’ into Love

PROMPT REQUESTS ARE ON SHUTDOWN, DO NOT SEND ANY TO ME, please and thank you ;3c

Prompt:

It was a pretty late night. I hadn’t seen Amy so upset before.

Usually, in the past, it wasn’t uncommon for Amy to come rushing to me--arms flung out and moving like a speed train with tears that sprawled into sparkling stars against the sky.

I always, usually, kinda-sorta, caught her and just let her cry it out with an awkward smile to my face.

But this time... Amy wanted to be alone.

That was weird. I first heard about it from Tails, who said that she had been reading some articles about the team and how they’ve said some pretty critiquing things about her... I’ve never really dealt with anything like that.

Joking, completely, I’ve totally had my fair share. But what about Amy? I always figured... well, she came off as pretty independently confident all on her own. I didn’t think she cared that much about what everyone thought of her.

So I was a bit concerned by Tails’s words, but I thought nothing of it. Waved it off as a momentary sadness for her, after all, this was Amy! She could bounce back from anything.

If it was really serious, I figured she would have come charging after me like before.

The stars weren’t here tonight... odd.

Sorry, where was I? Oh, yeah. The second time I heard anything a little more alarming was from Knuckles. Apparently, Amy had come to seek some solace from the unconditionally loving Chao--now this had been a solid day and half since I’ve heard about the incident of her wanting to be alone after reading some bad commentary on her--and she would shake the chao away from clinging to her.

He said he didn’t get it, cause she used to love to cuddle them and they all were really hurt by her wanting to keep her distance and just pat their heads.

Now, if anything were to set me and Knuckles off, it was that.

His face was so strained as he talked to me about it, I’ve never seen Knuckles trying to hold back so much worry and anger before. He said he tried to go over and give her a piece of his mind, but when she turned around, her eyes were vacant of anything but tears.

“It looked like she thought she had done something wrong before she even did it.” He stated, “I didn’t have the heart to continue yelling at her, so I just shooed her away, telling her to pick on someone else if she was feeling that crummy.”

“Harsh, Knuckles. Harsh.” I joked, but there was a low-key truth to what I said. “Tails said something about harsh comments on some articles she likes to read about us.” The old alter of the Master Emerald’s shrine was as stony and gravely as ever. The little pieces of chipped pebbles always grinded and dug themselves under my fur and into my skin every time I sat there, but Knuckles acted like nothing ever phased his tough skin.

I was acting kinda tough, too... to be real honest with you.

Knuckles huffed, grumbling as he picked up some berry juice he had squashed into a half-coconut  bowl and passed one over to me. “Doesn’t excuse telling a kid they can’t hold ya.” He was right... but then again...

“Maybe she just didn’t want the sympathy.” It was hard to look at it from a girl’s point of view, I didn’t quite understand what would tip her over the edge like that. Maybe they said she wasn’t pretty enough..? Ehh..?

“Girls really care about how others view them, you know?” I took a sip. It did in fact taste good, and I leaned back to let the slight acidy feel tingle against my throat as its favorable burst went down the ol’pipe. “Ahh~ That’s the spot!”

“...I don’t think you should be acting so carefree about this, Sonic.”

His sudden tone made me stop enjoying the berry sensation and look back to him, a little surprised but not by much. Knuckles always chose the direct route in any conversation, it’s what made him so easy and frustrating to talk to.

I smiled and closed my eyes, putting a foot down a step to stretch it out and sighed.

“...Yeah. I know.”

“If you know, then why don’t you do something about it!?” Knuckles, always ready to pull his voice out and speak up when he sees something he doesn’t like. “The very fact that she’s a girl means you should do somethin’ about it! Girls aren’t meant to mope about, they gotta be treated decently! Ain’t that half your job?!” ...Still, it made me like him like that. He was a good guy, and had the real makings of a hero--at least, to my standards--and a good friend at that!

“Half, huh?” I took another sip. Did everyone think me and Amy were something more..? After all these years, I hadn’t the slightest clue. Seems everyone else held a standard in their mind about it though...

“I’m serious! Aren’t you planning to do something about it?”

“Am I?” I smirked, not liking to be asked direct questions about myself. I took the coconut drink down and set it to the side, getting up and stretching my arm out in a few simple gestures. Spreading it across my chest and pulling it with my other hand, then twisting my torso right and down as I put the other arm back and used the one I’d momentarily stretched to reach sky high with it. “Boy, that feels good!”

“Grr... Sonic... if you’re making fun of this, I’ll-!” Before getting Knuckles too wound up, seeing him lift his fists again, I flicked myself in my usual--Sonic Charm~

I winked and wiggled my pointer finger, turning one leg to be slightly bent as I was about to speed off anyway.

I had heard what I wanted too, now time to do some more digging before investigating it right at it’s source.

“Don’t worry so much, Knuckles! Like I’d ever leave Amy to her own assumptions.” I still wasn’t sure what she was struggling with... but wanting to be alone and not have anyone clinging to her in affection?

Didn’t sound like Amy Rose to me.

While heading to dart off the island, I stopped by the chao and asked them what their story was.

Squatting down, I think I mustered up enough of my expertise in games to figure out their charaded play. It seems the chao could tell something was off from Amy’s usual, cheery nature. To try and help, they tried to swarm her as she usually did with endless hugs, but she delicately plucked each one off at a time and set them back down.

All she wanted was to sit, looking sadly between her arms and legs--I’m guessing the chao were trying to do the fetal upright position but their budgy bodies just can’t do it.--and pat their heads.

It made them uncomfortable to not be able to love on her, I assumed, and they continued to show me great concern as they held my arms in different places and showed me their adorable eyes.

“I get it, don’t worry, Amy’s gonna be just fine.” I smiled the best I could, but hearing... well, seeing their side of the story really... heh, opened my eyes?

Puns. Always a defense mechanism when you don’t intend to use them that way.

Something had me wanting to wait before I saw Amy again, though. Usually, that wasn’t like me, but I wanted a bigger picture.

I sped over to Cream’s and Vanilla’s, where I thought more insight might be had.

Tails had already called them, doing his own work to try and collect the pieces before directly asking Amy. We all knew Amy could be a bit... Nah, I won’t say it. But we wanted a better idea before we approached her about it.

Just safer that way...

I rubbed my head, remembering how easily one could fall into that hammer’s swing if they didn’t word things a bit more carefully, as Cream and Vanilla recounted Amy’s strange melancholy behavior, and how she wanted to seem less-

“Feminine?” That threw me for a loop, and trust me, I’ve had my fair share of running through loops.

“Well, not quite.” Vanilla was sitting on her lovely coach with Cream and Cheese sitting adjacent but slightly on her lap. She looked down at Cream who held her chin up a moment, wanting to be polite as she addressed me.

I did my best to hold a steady and kind eye-contact, but I could tell she was struggling to admit what she heard and saw.

“Miss Amy kept asking me strange questions. Like... Was she too much on something. I didn’t understand and she kept insisting I shouldn’t coddle her or lie to her. I didn’t know how to take that... I would never lie to Miss Amy! I just... didn’t understand what she wanted from me.”

It pained me to see that Amy had hurt someone from her own insecurities.

That was everything Amy stood against, and that’s when I knew this was getting out of hand.

I had let her be for a day just to see if she would either work it out on her own or come crying to me... but she hadn’t done either.

She was now hurting those close to her... and so it was time to intervene.

“Thank you for telling me that, Cream.” I purposefully spoke as tenderly as I could, “I’m sure that was hard for you. I’m very grateful you told me what happened.”

She buried herself into her mother’s chest, still hurt, and that drove a powerful fire through me.

That does it, Amy.

You don’t hurt people when you’re injured.

You come to someone stronger to help heal you if you can’t do it yourself.

At the time, I was really upset. Amy must have been polarized by the media.

They call her too traditional? Is that why she wanted to be more ‘tough’ like? Too protected? Too appeased?

Feminine... did she feel like a damsel in distress instead of our trusted friend?

I was trying to keep my head leveled, but I ended up closing my eyes during my run and letting the night’s air beat against me to try and cool myself off before finding her.

She wasn’t home, I checked the windows. No lights.

Unless she was sitting the dark, Amy always had a reading light on. She only turned every light off in her house when she was going to bed, so she could see the stars and feel like we were watching them together, no matter if we were far apart or not.

I looked to see she hadn’t any dirty dishes in the sink, and while peeking through the window, I noticed her drapes were down as well. That means she hadn’t been cooking or baking, and that she hadn’t opened the windows and pulled the drapes to let the smells carry, hoping I’d catch wind of it and invite myself in for a dinner with her.

I sped over to the city, thinking maybe she went on one of those ‘journey walks’ where she just window shops but ends up buying too many bags and waiting for me to bolt by and help her with them. She liked to think and experience things outside the home too... but I didn’t see her struggling with shopping bags anywhere.

She wasn’t watching Twinkle Park’s lights from her favorite outdoor restaurant, or purposefully losing her hat in hope’s I’d somehow see it and return it to her. She wasn’t sitting on her favorite spot with her favorite outdoor umbrella with her typical strawberry and vanilla shake and pretending she was too cold to finish it, bundling up and hoping I’d make a move and pull her closer or something.

She wasn’t in the fields where she’d pick flowers with Cream, or stare up at the clouds and reminisce about old times and stories we used to tell each other, or have her head on a bed of flowers so butterflies would come and sit on her still face as she dreamed of a future with me in it. Waiting for me to zip by and have the butterflies spread out and fly through my backdraft as the air around where I just blazed through would slowly return to a even, equilibrium.

She wasn’t anywhere I usually found her at.

I came up to my last spot I could think of. Why was this so hard? Amy could find me in a heartbeat... which... I couldn’t quite feel right now because it was fluttering dangerously like my shaky breaths.

I kept a strong look on my face, simply because I was worried my fear at not finding her would leak through and make her feel bad about being too well hidden.

I didn’t want her to feel bad... I didn’t want her to be alone for this long.

It had been the dark of the second day... I just wanted to see her. Make sure she was okay...

That anger that once fueled me was now popping in sparks of concern that made me walk around the rolling hills of Green Hill zone.

If she wasn’t here... looking for me... then I truly didn’t know where she was.

Eggman... would have been my next guess.

That, or Amy was replaced by a robot of his and was terrorizing the living daylights out of her friends!

... It was concerning. I wouldn’t worry. I couldn’t worry... Amy wasn’t a little girl anymore and hateful, spiting comments were to be expected when you live in the spotlight.

But I was just wanting to know where she was... how she was... It was starting to drive me crazy.

“Where are you... Amy?” I looked up to the sky, blank and black, and I didn’t like the omen it sent me. Like chills down my fur, the wind finally got to me. I felt the cold... empty world for the first time... realizing Amy was out in it without me.

Was she without her coat? Was she silently re-reading those awful articles?

‘Amy... Amy... Hear me... You’re not alone.’ My thoughts channeled through to my feet and I kept searching, darting here to there, scouting out east and west, north to south was like zig-zagging till every blade swayed left and right to make sure she wasn’t hiding somewhere in it’s darkened shade...

A crescent moon... not a full one. She liked the full moon.

‘Amy...’

As I ran through a rather flattened terrain of another zone, I watched to the side of me how the treelined slimmed down and the edge of the world rose up on a hill... that soon became a mountain.

Blocking my view... of any light the night could have brought to her.

She only liked the dark when she was about to sleep... it’d be too dark to really see her way home, soon.

I had confidence she knew her way home, that the world wasn’t that dangerous... but I wondered if her mind could be.

‘Amy...’ I bit down my teeth, charging forward in a streak of blue.

“AMMMMYYY!!!!”

----

As though hearing something in the distance, I raised my head and looked back over my shoulder.

Something kept telling me Sonic was looking for me... but I wondered if that was true this time.

I turned my solemn head with a sigh back to the last shred of light from the fading sun... I felt like... if I got any closer, I would feel it’s warmth envelop me completely... and I’d disappear from this world.

All these awful words in my head would cease, all this terrible feeling of not being enough, or too much, or just dull and unwanted... I wanted it all to go away.

I had cried and thought so much, self-reflected to the point of not even knowing where I was or how far I had traveled off too.

Tails said I was acting too sensitive to words that random people that didn’t even know me had said. Knuckles yelled at me when I tried to change my behavior so I wasn’t what those people had written about. Cream even got tongue-tied trying to voice her own thoughts about me... and ended up just saying something to ‘feed my ego’ as they put it.

No... Cream wouldn’t do that. Tails wouldn’t try and be so dismissive of me like they said they all are. Knuckles... Okay, Knuckles is loud and yells a lot, but he meant well..!

She groaned and let herself flop back to lay against the cold grass, still holding her arms around herself as she was getting terribly cold in her heartache.

Knuckles just didn’t like how the chao were reacting to my new behavior... it’s understandable they would have been apprehensive to me trying to love them a little less directly... But practicing my new, refined self on them didn’t seem to have any good effects...

Maybe I’m overthinking... but I just want someone to tell me... I’m alright.

She put her arms over her eyes, refusing to look up at such a dark and ugly sky tonight.

“I just-” she sniffed, feeling the hot tears break through her already stained, sticky cheeks full of her earlier dried tears again. “I just want someone to tell me I’m perfect the way I am..!”

A sound arrowed itself into a bow along the plain of where Amy was, a sound that soared through her like a sonicboom that cracked through to her heart and made her sit up, looking as though with outrageous hope towards the last lowering light of the sun’s touch...

The grassy hill behind her seemed to have made a sound like something was moving quickly across it’s tundra... like something was refusing to let her sit in the quietness to let her thoughts overwhelm and consume her.

Her thoughts could hear someone calling her name...

“Sonic..?”

She lightly whispered his name out.

Then, as though pushing her lips back to not bother him, but wanting more than anything to jump into his arms-!

“SOOONIICCC!!!”

-----

He zoomed back to the sound, his eyes raising as though elated to finally get a trace of her.

And those tears that sparkled and lit up the entire night sky with stars...

And those arms that reached out for him, as though stretching on for eternity... a never-ending yearning he always accepted, granted a little half-heartedly, but never refused.

That scene was forever imprinted on him... and he wasn’t letting Amy leave his sights till she was her usual, teasingly flirty and emotionally unbreakable, spirited and youthful self again!

[lucywritesreid]

I know what you are

Notes: I’ve been re-reading twilight and watching criminal minds (it’s almost like I’m trying to relive my youth!) and the scene where Spencer doesn’t know what ‘cullen’ is just kills me every time.

 Summary: Y/N is excited about the release of Midnight Sun. Spencer still doesn’t know what all this hype is about. But he’s about to get involved.

 Word count: 1.5k

 “Y/N, oh my gosh! C’mere!” Penelope shouted in glee, pushing herself away from her computer desk and waving her arms around her face. “You need to see this!” You ran across the room towards her and leaned over her shoulder to read what was on the screen.

Midnight Sun, the new release from Stephanie Meyer.

“Holy shit!” you laughed and squeezed Penelope’s shoulder at the same time. “I didn’t know this was actually coming out!”

“I don’t believe it either y/n but I know I’m gonna need a marathon watching session beforehand!” You both giggled and carried on reading all the details on the screen. Sure, you were both grown women, but you’d be damned if that meant you weren’t excited about the hot vampires and werewolves. “Okay,” Penelope looked up at you, a serious expression across her face. “On the count of three we both need to say which team we are on. 1, 2, 3…”

“TEAM EDWARD!” 

The happy news of the book release followed you for the rest of the day. Penelope couldn’t help herself making twilight puns whenever she spoke to you. You’d managed to get JJ on board with your excitement, although you were slightly disappointed when she declared her support for Team Jacob.

“Listen guys… I just like looking at them with their shirts off. The vampires, not so much,” she’d shrugged, and you’d happily accepted her explanation. Emily was slightly more reluctant about getting involved, but couldn’t resist looking at all the pictures of ‘topless werewolves’ that you googled during your lunch break. You were still discussing the saga towards the end of the day just as Spencer had walked over to ask if you were ready to go home yet.

“Reid! You haven’t seen the twilight films have you?” Emily asked with a smirk, fully knowing what the answer would be.

“I-I haven’t, no,” he stuttered with a furrowed brow, also guessing where this conversation was headed. “I’m just not really into the whole thing.”

Your jaw almost hit the floor when you looked up at him. How had he not seen them? More importantly, how had you lived together for nearly a whole year and didn’t know he’d never seen one of your favourite film series?

“Well sweet boy you’re gonna have to catch up because there’s a new book coming out and your darling y/n is going to become mega obsessed all over again,” Penelope responded on your behalf. You were slightly smug that someone else was pointing out he should watch them.

He could hardly say no in a room full of witnesses. “Sure thing, Garcia,” he laughed and reached out for your hand.

…

 Two days later, and you’d had the most exhausting day. You’d agreed to start Thai boxing with Emily after work, and although you enjoyed spending time together, there was very little energy left for your evenings. You stepped in the front door and set your gym bag on the floor. It was oddly dark and you reached out for the hall light. That was strange. You knew Spencer was home, he’d left before you went boxing. “Spence, babe? Are you here?” You called out and edged into the front room.

You could hardly believe what was in front of your eyes. Spencer had moved all your furniture to the side of the room and out on the floor lay a large pile of throw pillows and blankets. Every shelf and surface was littered with lit candles, vanilla and cinnamon swirling around the room. You noticed a plate of red velvet cupcakes and two full glasses of red wine on the edge of the blanket. It looked so inviting. And to make the scene even more perfect, Spencer was stood in his black silk pyjamas in the middle of the room, a proud smile on his face.

“Honey, what is this?” you asked, a mixture of confusion and excitement in your voice.

“Well, after you were talking about your new book coming out the other day, I realised that I have neglected that part of your personality. This is one of your hobbies and I want to experience it with you. So, we’re going to watch the twilight films. This is gonna be our set up every night for the rest of the week. I’ve left your pyjamas on the edge of the bed. The matching ones of course.”

You raced across the room towards him, careful not to stand on any of his decorations. “You are going to love this, I promise!” You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss, before he pulled away a minute later.

“Go get changed bloodsucker,” he laughed.

….

Twenty minutes later and you both sat cross-legged on the blanket, fully indulged in the film. Spencer’s scepticism was noticeable from the beginning but you knew he was trying his hardest to enjoy himself. To make the experience more enjoyable, you had refrained from sharing trivia about the cast. Instead, you were profiling each of the character’s as you first met them.

The most enjoyable was when the Cullen family first arrived in the cafeteria. “Okay, here we go!” Spencer sat up and cracked his knuckles. “Well, he’s clearly got some kind of hidden trauma. He’s the most uncomfortable one there,” he pointed to a figure on the screen.

“Yeah honey that’s Jasper, you won’t believe the poor things that guys experienced…”

“And her! The one with him. She reminds me of you,” he turned away from the screen and gave you a smile.

“Alice? How come?” your cheeks were reddening. But you were not about to reveal that you’d desperately wanted to be Alice when you first read the books all those years ago.

Spencer shrugged. “She looks happy. Kind. Caring. And next to the rest of them who all look so miserable, she stands out. Just like you.”

The rest of the film was filmed with commentary about the character’s odd movements and behaviours. Spencer declared his favourite part was when Edward covered his mouth when Bella came into the classroom. He couldn’t stop laughing, and you couldn’t help but join him. “There are serial killers who don’t look that intensely at their victims!” he roared.

“I suppose he kinda wants her to be a victim, Spence. He wants to drink her blood.”

“Even so, you think a guy that’s been supposedly a vampire for such a considerable amount of time would be a little more subtle about it.”

You smirked. You couldn’t help but put yourself in that situation. Imagining discovering Spencer was a vampire, a beautiful immortal. How it would feel if his teeth bit down into the softness of your warm skin…

By the end of the first film, you were recreating the end scene. As soon as Spencer saw them going off to prom, he’d stood up from the blanket bed and asked for your hand. “Let’s join them,” and you were quick to follow. You danced around the living room, arms around his neck and his chest firmly pressed against you. You didn’t have to look up at the screen to know that your dancing was far better than the one on the screen. More passionate, more loving.

“I’ve really enjoyed this, y’know…” he whispered softly, inches away from your mouth. “Same again tomorrow?”

You nodded and melted away into his arms as he leaned down to kiss you.

 …

The next day, you were relieved to come home to the same setup as the day before. This time, you had red wine again, but it was accompanied by popcorn. The smell of your favourite candles lingered from the day before. You settled down into your pillow bed, this time choosing to sit practically on Spencer’s lap, your head nuzzled up into his neck. “This one makes me sad,” you sighed softly just after Edward left Bella in the forest. “I couldn’t imagine you doing this to me…”

He reached out and gently caressed your hair with his fingertips, “Never gonna happen,” he kissed your hair, “besides, they’re going to have a lovely reunion in Italy towards the end. Maybe we should go on vacation to Italy in the summer…”

You gasped. Escaping from his embrace you picked up the nearest cushion and gripped it between your fingers. “Spencer! How do you know that?! Did you watch this without me?” You pouted, teasing him by raising an eyebrow.

He looked down sheepishly and said quietly, “I may have read all the books when you went to sleep last night, y/n.”

You tapped him on the shoulder with the cushion. “No fair! I can’t see your genuine reactions now when you know what happens!” It was hard to fake being annoyed at someone so heartbreakingly adorable. “What will I do now…”

“We,” he interjected, “will finish these films and you can enjoy my now well-informed commentary.” He smirked. “And then we’ll get round to booking that holiday.”

You set down the pillow and went back to your previous position with your head on his shoulder. “Okay, fine. But you have to promise we can have a little vampire roleplay when we go to bed later.”

“Definitely,” Spencer agreed, “you look good enough to eat!” He said in a terrible Count Dracula-like accent.

“That’s not even how they talk in this…” you giggled.

“Well maybe it should be.”

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

It’s The Avengers (03x11)

Loki x Reader Avengers The Office AU (Slowwwwww Burn)

Season 3 Episode 11: Exotic Medicines

Series Summary: Living in the Avengers facility post-apocalypse in a better timeline   Tony Stark has decided to capture every moment by pulling The Office on the Avengers. All of housemates are pretty used to the idea except for you, who had just come here to finish her degree, and the newest member- Loki.

Warnings: high and...slutty moments?

Word Count: My heart feels so light today. And Tari is one of the reasons for this. In the sense that she is amazing and gives me hope about myself.

MASTERLIST in bio, darlings. Tags are open (check bio)

A creature with the head of an unhinged raccoon and the body of a dragon lizard scuttled on the dry patch of land, looking at its surrounding with those crazy eyes and panting with the sounds that usually came out of an out of breath pug whose nose was too small to take in the precious air for that chonky body. This guy, however, was more interested in chewing on the first piece of leather it bonked against, those huffing noises making any witness feel for this miserable looking animal. The leather boot shoved the raccoozard away only to have that stubborn bastard come back for the seemingly delicious leather that was now drowned in its spit. The boot kicked it casually- and lightly- once again to move away from the ground and instead rest on the barrel. The camera focused out of the boot to show Loki having no feelings look to the little 'zard. The other camera flying low over the creature was more interested in Lulu's raised hair looking at the abomination with caution before coming to smell the poor thing that laid upside down, thanks to Loki's amazing boot skills. Lulu raised its fluffy paw in the air, taking his sweet time to tilt his head and smack the animal in its face. And much to the little fluff's surprise, the 'zard growled and hissed at him, making the fluff ball take a step back. "Hey," Loki called out for Javier, who turned the galactic go-pro in his hand towards the God, "send one of your peekers inside to see how's it going." Javier moved the camera toward him to record himself giving Loki a look of confusion.

"The cameras are not 'peekers'," he signed before shrugging, "and peeking is not ethical." "Oh," Loki raised his brows while the camera quite tactfully panned in on the tension in those exposed biceps of his arms under the black shirt. He raised his hands to sign back. "So you go ahead be 'ethical' when those witches sacrifice her for her blood. Okay?" Javier's muted gasp had more emotion than Natasha on her bloody days- pun fully intended. "You were the one who suggested the witches!!!" The hand movements got more intense by the passing minute. "I suggested them for her bloody cramps," Loki signs back, still perched on the barrel, "I don't know what happens after?!" The camera was called to zoom upon Javier's face before he facepalmed himself harder than he should have. "Most cunning God MY ASS!!" "If the two of you are going to make a ruckus here then I would suggest you leave." Both boys stood in attention while the cameras focused on the woman in her wise years standing right outside the tent. Her authoritative features on that beautiful wrinkled green skin showed no sign of remorse or acceptance for the apologies. When she turned to go inside Javier turned to Loki to sign, "But we were not even talk-" "Because I can hear your thoughts, you useless meat suits," she shouted from the inside. Loki looked down at a fluffed up Lulu and shrugged. "Witches."

The Lounge "Okay, so the trick is for you to go-" Scott raised his leg and gracefully brought it back to bend over to let his beautiful booty naturally display the trademarked 'thicc'ness - "and then jerk it back like-" he continued by giving it a pop. Once. Twice. Thrice. The camera turned away to look at Peter and Vision stare in a mixture of shock as well as delight with a synced tilt of their heads. "How did you do that?" Pretending to flick away the hair from his face as he came back up- quite seductively- he sighed. "I've had practice." The audience waited and was met with no further commentary. "Oh, okay. So, we are not discussing the...uh...practice," Peter breathed before letting his brows furrow in deep curiosity, "but how the eff do you do the-" he bent over and tried to twerk. That twerk came out more like Peter trying to force his diaphragm to push up a seed stuck in his windpipe.  Scott blinked at the effort before helplessly looking at the camera.

Scott: *clicks his tongue* White people problems. We either shake that thang like Beyonce was our mama or we bend over as if begging someone to do the Heimlich on us. *camera zooms in* There is no in-between.

"You need a lot of practice," Scott pointed at the spider boy before moving over to Vision. "And show me what you learned." Vision looked at Scott's phone and WAP started right from the build-up to the verse. The camera never went below Scott and Peter's torsos but the unprecedented shock in their popping eyeballs left a lot to the imagination. When Vision finally came back in the frame, he smiled at the two. "I feel like I could have popped my behind more." Scott and Peter blinked and felt themselves jolt at his statement. "More?!" Peter gasped. "How?!!" Scott shouted at the same time. Vision, unphased, let the music start from the top. "Like this," he added innocently and went out of the frame, leaving both the boys to find a God in their prayers to answer their questions.

Planet of the Witches Javier took the shade of the lone bush under the sweltering sun by squatting under it, all the while watching Loki's leg impatiently tap on the barrel it was resting on. And when their eyes met, the former smiled and signed something. "I'm not worried about her. I'm worried about my ears falling off from listening to Stark's babbling of 'not taking care of her daughter'. I am not her bodyguard. He should know that by now." Javier scoffed. 'Are you sure you know that by now?' Loki narrowed his eyes at him.  "You have been getting cheeky by the day, boy." "And you cannot control your grumbling clouds for a fraction of the 'kula, can you?" The eldest of the witches, a humped grandma with a river of wrinkles over her face and hands and feet, came out to glare at Loki, who got off the barrel to stand in front of her in just a pinch of guilt before his eyes were distracted by your figure coming out of the tent. Before Loki's veiled relief could say anything, grandma took her crooked walking stick and slapped Loki's shin. The tiniest whine filled with confusion to the brim escaped the raven-haired boy. "OW!" the God growled at the old woman before raising his leg to hop around in pain while you tried your best to contain the laughter bubbling inside you. "Do not come to me for help if you cannot handle a few 'kulaeg, you impatient bog!" Loki's jaw unhinged while he hopped about and you gave the camera the more delightful look.

You: *gasp and beam* never in my life I thought I would see Loki stagger like that. That too by a five hundred-year-old alien lady!! *screeches* I love space! *shimmy your shoulders*

"I didn't even do anything this time?!!" Loki thundered, finally putting his foot on the ground. "Wait," you raised a finger in anticipation and confusion, "this time?" Grandma tapped her stick hard into the rocky ground. "Be thankful it's not a yank in your nethers for kidnapping my Logo last time." Your muted gasp grew wider, and the camera panned in when you stood in the middle of the two. "You kidnapped her Logo?" You whispered with elation. "Your Logo did not want to be kidnapped?" You tried hard to restrain the chortle in your voice before trying to come back to a straight face. The camera panned in on your face to catch you whisper, "I don't even know what a Logo is!" right into the lens. "I feel like there's a lot to unpack here. Grandmama, tell me everything this stupid ass has ever done!" Loki didn't seem to like the idea. "What is your problem, Se'tiri? You hit me even when I don't do anything wrong?! Every! Single! Time!" Se'tiri narrowed her eyes at the God, not letting her little body be intimidated by the six-foot tall creature. "You have one those faces, boy. Ones that are asking to be hit because they do not know what manners are." "Oh, dang," you whisper to the camera and secretly praise this alien grandma's spirit. "Fine, I'll never come here, ever again," Loki huffs, grabbing your hand to leave in a two-second surprise state, "come on, Y/N, let's go." "That's what you said last time you blue seaweed," Se'tiri shouted in her raspy voice, "make sure to remember this time! And take those damned bao-bao I made you and your friends, you giant slug!" Leaving your hand for a moment- that seemed to bring a microsecond of mellow sadness over your face- Loki smoothly turned a one-eighty to go inside the tent and bring with him a bento wrapped in blue fabric, grabbed your hand again and gave a stink eye to the woman. "I am taking these bao-bao with me, you rotten hag! And I will come whenever I please!" "You better come with some fucking bao-bao material or I'll not make more for you!" she yelled. Loki was already walking away with you by his side. "You will make me more because I am the only one who eats these stinky buns!!! Come on Lulu!" he yelled back, making the camera focus on Lulu standing upright, both excited and confused with something thin and long hanging from his mouth before he sucked it in and ran behind you two. The raccoon thing was nowhere to be seen.

The Lounge "You guys are the f***ing nuts!" Sam announced as the camera panned out to show Scott, Vision and Peter sitting on the sofa. Two of them had pouty faces while one was enchanted by the Falcon. A good moment of silence passed with Sam's firm expression before he finally spoke again. "You have to move your hips in a way to not hurt your lower back. And you have to split without hurting your nuts!" Both Scott and Peter winced at the memory and brought their ice packs closer to their crotch. "Now, watch...and learn." Sam gave one quick look to Vision and the AI automatically turned on the music for Sam to manoeuvre his body to the beats with the rigidity of water. And before anyone knew it, he was making a one-eighty with his leg to open it into a perfect split before popping that booty thrice for a perfect finish. The camera panned out to zoom in at the faces of equally bewildered and impressed Steve and Bucky standing at the entrance of the Lounge holding hands. "Should we...ask?" Steve wondered to his partner, his eyes still glued to the man of many talents. "Do we have to?" Bucky added.

Bucky: *in all his seriousness* We have to. I need to learn how to do that perfect split but I will cut my own veins before asking Sam for tutoring me.

Away From the Witches "All the weirdness aside because I know it comes from the insecurity in your past relationships of being not loved enough to trust another person, I have to say you and Grandmama Se'tiri really care about each other." The camera was stuck in one frame- on your head resting on your hand while your gaze was stuck on the God pretending to brood while eating the purple coloured buns the old witch had made for him. A quick glance from him at you from the corner of his eye and he was already turning his eyes towards you to question that softness stuck in your eyes while you looked at him. Not to mention your smile. "Stop looking at me like that," he muttered with his mouth half full. "Fuck you, I won't," you giggled lightly, getting a raised brow from Loki. "How the fuck can someone look so cute while eating? Why are you looking so good while eating?" Loki had to stop chewing and look at you for a few moments in keen observation. Or judgment. Or both. "What did they do to you in there?" It was your turn to sit straight in this weird open buggy floating between two alien rhinos as they languidly strolled over the deserted part of the planet. "They squeezed all that painful shit out of me," you inhaled. "Like I could feel my uterus squeeze and let the walls out from inside me, the blood, the gooey stuff, all of it. It hurt a bit at the beginning like every other time but once Grandamama and her sisters started chanting, it was all gone," you concluded with a smile. "Even though the goo was still coming out of my vagina." Lulu's camera caught the reasonable blankness on Javier and Loki's face before both of them put the buns down and tried their best to blink away the pictures you had so patiently put inside their heads. You, still perched with your head on your palm, smiled at the boys. "Should've left the bun for after the icky bloody part. Is it weird I can still smell the blood? Just like that bloody stench you get when you dump your menstrual cup down the drain during a shower and watch all that blood go down imagining you just murdered someone and are reminiscing the entire thing." Loki looked at the camera with newfound confused horror in his eyes.

Loki: Remind me to never piss her off during her bloody days. *inhales* Also remind me to make Clint and Steve piss her off on her bloody days *smirks and raises his brows suggestively at the camera*

"Oh! And she even gave me candy!" You nearly shout, going for the little backpack and unzipping it take out a blue plastic looking bag which looked like something straight out of your younger sister's newly opened business with much effort given to the packaging and the brand. An outline of a herb adorned the logo while a few imprints of languages unknown to you were written below it. "And I am not sharing it with anyone." Loki scoffed, looking at you while slowly putting the delicious-looking bao-bao in his mouth, making you wrinkle your nose before opening your own collection of fluffy marshmallow-like collection and putting one in your mouth. "Oh dang! It's cheesy!" You babbled through your full mouth, gasping with a sudden revelation. "Ooooh!! And spicy!" Loki chuckled and turned his whole body towards you. "Oh come on now, Y/N. You don't have to pretend to give your little trinkets flavours to tease..." His voice drowned when his sight apparently fell on the packet you were holding while gobbling down your second treat. "This one's minty," you added with a wiggle of your brows and a huge smile on your face. "...me," he barely whispered, his attention only on the packet with his eyes narrowing on the foreign words written over it. The bun resting in Loki's hand dropped into his lap for Lulu to make it disappear within less than a second. Loki's hand came for the packet but your reflexes were too good today to let him lay his claws on it. "Oh you aren't getting any," you gasped at his audacity. "I don't want to ea-" Loki snapped himself and moved his hand towards the packet- "let me see the packet." Silence. "Y/N." Your hand went inside the packet for another snack. "Y/N," he called out sweetly with a hint of caution. You popped the little ball of crunch in your mouth. He leapt halfway towards the packet, his hand reaching and almost grabbing your newfound treasure. "Stay. Away," you command with your eyes. "I just want to see the pack-" he leapt again and this time grabbed your back instead while the snacks were raised away from him. "Really?" "You're not getting any!" Loki was lying over your now. Both of you were grunting and squirming; Loki trying to lock his arms around your waist to push you down while you anchored your free hand on the edge of the floating buggy. "Give me the packet!" He roared. "No!" You growled back and hissed at him without turning around to look at his frustration lines. The God locked his legs around yours, using his one arm to restrain your waist and the other to tickle your armpit long enough to make you howl in a burst of laughter that ended with a blood-curdling sigh when he finally got the packet in his hand. "Aha!" He exclaimed, still not letting you go. "I hate you!" You wiggled inside his hold that didn't seem to work him much. "Why do you have to be so FUCKING strong!!" But Loki had all his attention on the package by now. His glow of victory faded as fast as it came when his eyes went over the print, the shades turning from a subtle shade of confusion to a much denser stroke of fear. "Wha-no...no!" Loki looked at your scowling face cursing him left and right. "How many have you eaten?" "Oh screw you!" "Y/N! How many have you eaten?!!!" All the rage in your pupils melted into full-blown innocent kitten eyes. "A few," you whispered. Loki- his lips parted in question with the nearest star hitting his pale face from the side to let his green eyes glow with the reflection coming from your white tank top- tilted his head to judge you with a raised brow. Your lips parted just like his but in heavy bewilderment of the sorts that one does not usually let out before turning to share a look with a camera.

You: *tilt head* was he always this...poetically beautiful?

You mumbled something under your breath with your eyes darting away from his face. "Y/N." "I said I had some at grandmama's place." A muted yet sophisticated gasp came out of Loki's mouth. "How many exactly?" "....Six or seve-" "We can still fix this-" "-teen?" Any hope bubbling in the God's eyes suddenly evaporated when he looked into a camera with a newfound fear.

Loki: This candy *raises the packet to show to the camera* is a sort of soother. It releases the tension in your muscles and helps in better blood circulation along with improving focus, increasing the stamina and...making everything quite...brighter? *sucks on his teeth* *looks at his feet while still holding the packet in frame* All of this happens when you consume two candies. *camera pans in on the artificial smile on Loki's face as he looks back at the lens* *whispers with a strain in his voice* she's had seventeen.

WAP Boys The flatscreen showed Loki gasping in sheer horror while the mute icon activated right over his disparate shade of horror as compared to your confused one. The same camera shifted from the huge screen towards the group gathered in the lounge, trying to figure out who did it. Scott, Peter and Sam were busy teaching Bucky and Steve while Vision made everyone some fizzy lemonade. Wanda searched for the WAP dance videos online while Natasha sat on the sofa- closest to the screen- making videos of the boys. For a second she revered her eyes from the screen to look at the camera sideways. A fleeting second, a straight face and the single silent entity in the chaos was all it took for the Black Widow to blink at the camera before going back to her phone. "There is no way I can do tha-" Steve was trying his best with his hands raised up to his chest in defeat. "Oh, come on, Cap," Scott begged, "you don't even have to do much. You just wiggle a little and your beautiful bouncy ass will do the rest of the work." Steve started to speak but stopped to give a hyperexcited Scott an expression filled with so many questions. "Word," Sam chimed in from behind Steve before gulping down his share of lemonade as he walked towards the sofa, getting a frown from Steve as a response. "Amen," Bucky announced whilst looking at the camera with a nascent smirk as he sipped his lemonade, at the same time trying to push his hair back. The 'really, Bucky?' look on Steve's face was a sweet bonus to already blushing owner of America's ass. "What the hell is happening?!" The unprecedented surprise in the familiar voice put everyone's metaphorical tails into one collective bushy goosebump. All the cameras shifted to a stunned yet stoic Tony Stark standing by the entrance of the lounge while everyone else tried to calm their heartbeats and look for an explanation.

Scott: I actually thought I was gonna get kicked out and so *shrugs*

"He did that!" Scott blurted out while pointing at the empty loveseat. Tony narrowed his eyes at him and the poor Antman found himself at a loss of words. "We were-" Steve paused for a second to give a quick look at everyone's faces before scratching an itch behind his ear- "learning a...a new dance?" "..." "It's the WAP!" Peter acknowledged with quite the enthusiasm till the wide cautious eyes of three people standing around him made him realise what he had just said.

Scott: *breathing into a paper bag* Oh crap! I am definitely dead today. Stark's gonna kill me for ruining his precious baby!!

"You all-" Tony at everyone in the room- "are learning the WAP while I get the news about a deadly virus taking over the world." "What?" There are muffled gasps and confused looks shared before everyone gets serious.

"It's a flu. The scientists are calling it Covid. Dr Cho, Bruce and Shuri are working on the cure," "Who's behind this?" Steve's persona did a complete one-eighty. "Hydra?" "The Neo-Nazis?" "Oh! Illuminati?" "Apparently, it has originated from 'bats'. The Wakandans have a lead on the 'bats'." "Okay, everyone," Steve announced, "let's suit up!" "Woah! Woah-ho-hooo!" The camera panned in on Tony's posture that clearly said 'nobody's going anywhere'. "Where do you think you're going?" Silence. Everyone looked at Steve for an answer. "To find the root of this virus." Tony took a step forward, his head already held high as usual. "Not before I win the WAP." Scott's jaw dropped to the floor, him and the camera looking at each other at the same instant. On the other side, Natasha- lying on the sofa- scrolled through her phone. "Okoye has already taken care of the 'root cause', hasn't she?" she nudged Tony. He didn't answer that. For a few seconds. "Doesn't matter. I can still wipe the floor with his ass. With all your asses." "Okay okay okay okay okay-" Sam nodded, enjoying the playful tension between the boys. "It's on. It is on!" The camera shifted to Natasha, who was still sprawled upon the sofa, smirking at her phone. "Perfect timing," she commented with a wink before opening her phone's camera to start recording.

In the alien Buggy "IIIII Loooove you BABAYYYYY. And if it's quite ALRIGHT!! I neeeed you BABAYYYY to warm these lonely NIGHTS!!!! OH PRETTY BA-" The singing continued in the background while Loki sat defeated on the floating vehicle, focusing on anything but that singing. His lips ran in a thin line, really telling the spectator the limit of his patience. The tension was boiling in his muscles and yet he did not move an inch, just waiting patiently. "Oh my God Loki?" You sat up in a daze behind him, your mouth agape with disappointed horror. "We have been together all this time but you got your hair conditioned! And not mine?!!" Loki's palm tried its best to rub some of his own disappointment off his face. "I thought we were best friends," you whimpered with betrayal in your already watering eyes. The camera focused on Loki shifting as he went for his bag to take out a bottle of water and a small green sachet. His eyes were on the camera when he asserted ever so sweetly, "of course, we are friends, Y/N. And I'll tell you where I got my hair conditioned-" he opened the sachet and mixed the herb-like contents in the water- "but first you need to drink some water." The camera panned out to show you running on the rough terrain away from the alien buggy- while Loki kept talking to himself- hopping in excitement at intervals.  "It will hydrate you and flush out those undesirable dru-" The d-word hung in the air when Loki found the space behind him empty. "Y/N?" He questioned in a tender tone, quite probably wondering you were hiding somewhere. The second time your name came out in urgency when he looked at Javier and Lulu sitting there in confusion. The third time he hopped down the moving vehicle- which, to be fair, moved at a turtle's pace- and looked underneath the levitating body. There was no fourth time. He just looked at Javier and Lulu, who turned to look in the direction you had dashed in. "Why didn't you stop her?!" Loki was restraining the anger so hard. "Oh, what do you mean neither of you can speak!!" By this time, Loki's heart was in his mouth, he was sweating and his breaths were shallow. Javier whistled at the rhino-like aliens pulling their buddy to stop. Getting down, he set his camera to Loki's side profile, conscious to maintain a safe distance from an untethered God. Licking his lips, he shut his mouth and took one deep breath with his eyes closed. The nearest star helped with its bright rays to let the audience know the clench of his jaw was an intense one. Opening his eyes, there was only one emotion that was visible on his entire being. "Fuck."

[geocookie21]

A Punny Death

This is my first fic! Please be kind! It’s not going to be long at all.

Warning: 2 very bad puns. And I ask for your forgiveness.

—————————————————————————————————————

The Doctor, Agent O, Graham, Ryan, Yaz and Y/N had all managed to get into Barton’s plane relatively safely. And by safely I mean running directly behind the plane and then preceding to jump onto it! Because that is something you clearly should do, according to the Doctor.

“Thanks for helping me up back there” O said as he turned to Y/N

“No problem! Im surprised I got on, I’m used to the running now but jumping into planes?” You giggled as you shared a look with O and he couldn’t help but return the action with a laugh.

“I’ve never been good at sprinting” O said continuing your conversation, despite the lack of oxygen in your lungs, he was faking it, but still.

“Forget sprinting, I don’t think I’m quite used to running at all yet”

O, yet to be revealed as the Master, had gotten quite close to Y/N in the short time of your acquaintance. While Graham may have been keeping a running commentary, Y/N was making jokes. Bad jokes. The worst jokes imaginable. A few puns that flew right over O’s head, he caught on that it was, in fact, a joke of sort when Graham groaned.

One that didn’t fly over his head, and he was ashamed that he didn’t pick up on it before he replied, was the classic

“Hey O! Wanna know how NASA plans their parties?”

“How?”

“They plan-et” you said with a grin practically splitting your face. An expression he connoted with you making a joke that you knew was awful. So he groaned.

Apparently this was the correct response as you started laughing harder than you already were. O merely rolled his eyes, trying to stay in character, yet laughed a little by instinct. They were not bad jokes, in fact he found them rather amusing, despite the awful quality.

The godawful jokes continued to be heard at random throughout their little adventure. O nearly lost it when you said “Where’s the platypus when you need him” as you were sneaking around Barton’s jet hanger.

Having gotten a little bored during his time in MI6 and having already took a liking to TV as one of his previous regenerations he decided to look into more modern day tv shows, finding Phineas and Ferb.

He was about to burst out in laughter when Graham scolded you. You pouted completely unaware of the entire groups shoulders shaking in an obvious attempt to hold in laughter, including Grahams. 

Currently, having just jumped onto a plane, the jokes have stopped, for a few minutes at least.

“What are we actually going to do?” Yaz huffed out. Seriously, ran after a plane and jumped onto it. Can you blame her for being out of breath?

“Sit tight and see where he’s going” the Doctor replied, out of breath but clearly not suffering as much as the humans were cause she’s lucky causes she’s a time lord and has done more ridiculous stuff than this.

“Amen” You exclaimed as you sat down in one of the rows of chairs...cause you know, running after a plane AND JUMPING ON IT

“What were you doing in the kitchen Y/N? The party was outside” Ryan asked you.

“Officially? Looking for anything not obvious” you replied holding your lungs

“And unofficially?” Graham asked, already dreading the answer. Everyone looked at you, waiting for, what was going to be, a horrible joke.

“Trying to steal his cutlery” you replied knowing the next line, the groans incoming.

“Y/N! Why would you do that?! What if you were caught?!” There it was, the approaching line. You knew Yaz would go all police woman on you, thus providing you the perfect opportunity...

“It was a whisk I was willing to take” you deadpanned. Slowing turning into the famous grin.

The groans from all present were worth it. You laughed for a good 5 minutes despite the pain in your lungs.

Everyone including O just smiled at you. Each thinking you were cute. Then the Doctor remembered something that O said a few minutes before...

“Never been good at sprinting?” She asked O, confused.

“I was the last one in every race at school”

“No no no, I read your file. Your a champion sprinter” She huffed out, unaware that she broke his disguise.

The air in the room (plane?) shifted. You could feel something was wrong even from where you were sitting.

You couldn’t see it but O’s innocent (attractive) face dropped. He knew his facade was no longer going to work he stood thinking for a second or two until..

“Got me” whispered words, yet louder than echos.

“Well done”

The words scaring you into sitting upright, despite the pain in your lungs. This wasn’t the O you had come to know.

“What’s going on,Doc?” Graham’s voice was barely heard as you kept you senses focused on ‘O’. More confused than afraid, afraid all the same, you started to stand when he suddenly whirled around and out his hand out towards you. His hand raised to nearly eye hight and palm facing you, as if he were a magician.

“Sit down, Love.” The spoken command sounded soft to your ears and mirrored his smile. O’s smile.

You did as you were told so he turned back to the Doctor. A small laugh, as if he’d done nothing more than a harmless prank, to her as he turned his head over his shoulders to address the others.

“Well you’d best take a look out the window”

The fam did exactly that, except for you. As you stood to look a firm hand wrapped around your waist, pulling you towards a tall warm body. Looking up towards their face and seeing the O that you had known, not the one nearly laughing maniacally a second ago, confused you. This person isn’t O. Whether there had ever been a real O, or whether you had met the real one was yet to be determined. But you felt that this man was the one you had gotten close too. But who was he?

“How is your house out there?” Graham’s voice broke your thoughts. Only to start about her round.

“What?!” You got as close to the window as you could, with ‘O’ still holding onto you. And Graham was right, his house was out there.

He let you go so you could look.

“A little bit wicked witch of the west” you almost laughed. You really did. Then you remembered the situation. Though O did see you smile unknowingly, he knew you were amused and if this was a different situation you would have laughed. He frowned for a second wishing that you had laughed, but he knew you were confused. Remembering that the Doctor would be equally as confused was what got him smiling again.

“But you get the gist! Maybe, maybe not”

He tuned around leaning lazily against the wall. (Hand on hip as if he didn’t know what that would do to the audience watching.)

“Come in Doctor, catch up”

“You can do it, come on” acting as if he was a tutor, helping a child.

The Doctors mouth dropped in realisation.

“Ooooh”

O looked happy at that response, maybe even excited.

“That’s my name, and that is why I chose it”

“Oh so satisfying” He smiled.

“It was a bad pun even for me” you whispered. You were too confused to even notice you spoke that out loud or that you were even smirking at the godawful pun that he made, and let’s be honest, you WOULD have made that pun.

He looked at you a smiled softly, a low laugh that he only kept going for you, even with his disguise dropped. He quickly switched his attention to the Doctor.

“Doctor I did say, look for the spymaster”

his voice started dropping lower. In time not volume. Almost as if he was becoming someone else.

“Or should I say, spy...”

“Master”

The Doctor looked horrified and he took a deep, staggered, breath.

“Hi” he smiled. His whole demeanour had changed. Even his eyes, they burned with a hated and target into the Doctor.

“You can’t be”

“Oh I can be and very much am”

“So what’s going on then, if he’s not really O” Ryan spoke up for us confused humans in the back. Literally, back of the plane.

“I’m her best enemy” He responded as he got closer to the Doctor, laughing at her face when he stood next to her.

“Call me Master”

He addressed the fam as he started speaking, but in his last word, his name, he kept his eyes locked to yours.

Words of confusion arose from the fam, the Doctor still yet to recover from the shock.

“Me and her, we go way way way back”

“I met O” The Doctor trying to figure the situation asked the Master.

“I know”

“Years ago”

“I know!” He replied to her, laughing all the while.

“But there was an O at MI6! C was talking about him” Ryan being calm enough to think the situation through. The Doctor wasn’t doing to great and honestly? Neither were you.

“Yes, a man very close to my heart”

“Well in my pocket, actually. Wanna see him? It’s always good to have a backup of ones work”

He held up a matchstick box. His eyes locked to yours again, the demonstration purely for your benefit. Not to frighten you, he knew you’d be curious as to what was going on.

“Tissue compression, it’s a classic”

You finally saw what was in the matchstick box.... it was the original O.

Your mouth dropped as you whimpered slightly at the sight. The Masters eyes softened for a moment, wondering if perhaps he shouldn’t have shown you. He focused on the others for a moment to get you out of his head and thoughts before continuing.

“Ambushed him! On his way to work for his first day, shrunk him, took his identity and set myself up in MI6”

He turned back to the fam and kept you in his sights to see your reaction. You were still shocked and afraid, so he did the only thing he could. The thing you bonded over. He tried to make a joke.

“Surprisingly good staff canteen”

If he wasn’t watching you, he wouldn’t have noticed the quick smile or the breath you took. Another time, that would have you giggling and he knew. But you weren’t as scared as you were a second ago, so it did it’s job. He smiled softly at you closed you mouth and took a breath to calm yourself.

He was going to through the small box to the side to spite the Doctor, but he didn’t want to scare you so he put it back in his pocket and faced the Doctor once more.

“I have had a lot of fun” he started clapping out of enjoyment as the Doctor ran for the cockpit. The Master turned back to the fam and grimaced before a tiny giggle left his mouth. You were about to speak when suddenly

“Where’s Barton?!” Now that got your attention

The Master turned back around as if he’d been caught stealing a cookie. He jumped around acting like he didn’t know where to go until he sat down in a plane seat a few rows in front of you as the others ran past him.

He turned to you, you still looked terrified before, hearing that the plane didn’t have a pilot didn’t help

“So how’s the inflight entertainment?” He smiled softly at you, not the cruel smile he’d been giving out. An encouraging one, perhaps concerned and kind.

“I don’t like the comedy show” you whispered. You were scared. Confused. Still had burning lungs. Worried about the Doctor and others. And on top of that making a joke with a, now know, murderer was not at the top of your priorities.

“Check the seat” he called out after controlling his laughter at your reaction. The fam panicked as he whispered just loud enough for you to hear.

“it’s going to be ok” he knew in his mind it wasn’t. You were going to die. You are a human, he has no need for humans no matter how much he enjoyed your company. You knew it too.

He smirked evily as he glanced at the cockpit.

“Cockpit bomb”

He glanced at you at your gasps of horror. Smoking as he continued.

“Short fuse. I can relate to that”

A knowing smile until he heard the sound of the sonic.

“No! Did you think I wouldn’t have thought of that?’ It’s sonic proof Doctor! Come on!”

“Dead lock sealed and I made sure, no parachutes on board”

You knew you were going to die. You wanted to get to your friends, your fam. But the Master blocked your way.

“There must be a way!”

You doubted it. You were frightened and wanted your friends. You made eye contact with Yaz and Ryan, both held their arms out for you, knowing you needed them. You pushed past the Master into their arms and whimpered a little. You tried to keep it quiet so the doctor couldn’t hear you. You didn’t want her to stress out more than she already was.

Yaz said something to the Master and he replied, but you couldn’t make it out. You were too busy being scared and keeping it quiet. You caught the end of their conversation as the Master said

“...even these guys” you saw the creatures you were investigating. And if you weren’t scared enough?

“I can’t do it! Get away!” The Doctor shouted. She shut and barricaded the door in a feeble attempt to keep the explosion away from you all. The bomb went off and she fell over.

All you could hear was screaming. The fams, the Masters, your own. Your grip on the seat that you had grabbed weakened and you fell. You never hit the ground. In the chaos you could just about notice you had been caught. It was the purple cost that gave their identity away.

“Tell me Y/N, are you mad at me?”

You held onto him, him being the only steady thing you could grab on to at the moment.

“I’ve been mad at you since the Wizard of Oz reference”

He laughed as he held you in his arms. He steadied you in a seat and left towards the Doctor and stood over her.

“One last thing, you should know in the seconds before you die. Everything that you think you know, is a lie”

He turned to face you again.

“Y/N! Do me a favour!”

“What?!”

“Don’t die!”

“That’s kinda the idea here! your not exactly helping!”

“Good little human! I’ll see you soon!”

“If I don’t die in a damn plane crash you twit!”

he laughed before he sobered, turning back to the Doctor

“Got you, finally”

And with that he vanished.

Now we just have to survive the plane crash...

I’m sure the Doc.. Annnnd she just got taken.

Just great.

[starryhc]

That Time of the Month (Riley and Jack - MacGyver)

 This one is for my poor suffering friends - you know who you are, so I won’t call you out. It’s flashfiction, so may hold terrible spelling and grammar, but I hope not. ;)

---

It was bad timing. Not that there was really ever good timing, but this was particularly bad timing.  

Riley had crawled out of bed this morning and carefully left her cute belly-revealing outfits at home, instead opting to cover a t-shirt with a stylish hoodie. She also went for the slightly roomier low-cut pants.

She groaned quietly figuring Jack’s latest CD, consisting mostly of Salt N Pepa classics, would cover the small sound, even as it was making her headache a little more unbearable. If she could just walk around a bit, she could make things a little better, but there wasn’t a lot of chance for that in the back of a surveillance van.

At least this time it was only Jack here with her. Mac and Bozer were inside the building, trying not to yawn as they lounged about in various parts of the hotel and fed them intel about the areas that Riley hadn’t been able to hack any cameras.

No Mac and no Bozer meant that the van was at least a lot less cramped (haha, no pun intended) and, for the most part, Jack didn’t need to make a lot of small talk with Riley during surveillance ops like this one. He was happy to sing and annoy the crap out of Mac and Bozer via the radio when he thought they weren’t checking in often enough.

Riley stretched and really wished she hadn’t eaten the jerky earlier as a particularly nasty cramp made her wish she could just open up a portal to hell. It would surely be more fun than another however-many hours of this.

Riley suddenly sensed Jack’s concerned eyebrows and, sure enough, there they were in the rear-view mirror. She could see the moment he knew he’d been caught out as he pretended to stretch his shoulders and then reached to turn the volume down.

“Hey Riles?” Jack turned in his seat to look into the back of the van.

Oh, here we go! I really do not want to have this conversation. Please don’t make this a discussion. Jack surprised her though, by not asking the questions she’d thought were coming.

“Can you hand me that black bag over there. It’s where I keep my comfy tailbone cushion. You know how my back gets when I sit so long.”

“Sure Jack.” Riley reached for the aforementioned unassuming black bag, passing it up to Jack. She sure wished she had something to soothe her own back as another wave of pain rolled across her abdomen and her back seemed to seize again in sympathy. Her head was already throbbing enough that she was getting nauseous. How many more hours was thins going to take? Oof.

“Riley?” Jack asked, quietly.

Riley opened her eyes, only then realising she’d closed them for just a moment against the pain. Jack was still clutching his bag and so was she.

“Uh huh,” she sighed, waiting for something very awkward to occur.

“How about you sit up front for a bit. The seats are nice and supportive. I’ll share my kit if you don’t tell Mac and Bozer.” He wiggled the black bag she’d now allowed him to take from her.

“N’aw gotta watch the screen, Jack.” Riley smiled. Jack really was the closest thing she’d ever had to a dad and it was when he was acting this way exactly that she felt it most.

“You can watch it up here. Do your bloopity-bloop thing and link it to your laptop and we can both gander at it. Come on, try it for a moment.”  Jack paused and began blowing up his little butt cushion like he was eighty rather than pushing fifty, all the time watching Riley over the top of it with a puppy-like expression that would melt the most heartless soul, and Riley couldn’t help but grin. “And before you say no, you should know what I have to offer. Come on, hon. I promise it’s worth it.”

Riley felt her eyes water a little. Damn Jack and being so sweet, right when she was all hormones.

“Hey now, you okay there, pumpkin?”

She nodded and, not really trusting her voice not to wobble and therefore finding it less than easy to deny Jack what he wanted. She clambered into the front passenger seat with her laptop. Jack, looking happy, rubbed his hands together once she was settled and then made a show of opening the bag. Riley grinned at the showmanship, clearly designed just to make her smile, and settled back into the actually much more comfortable front seat.

“Now, you know old Jack’s back gets all bent out of shape with all the sitting. Mac thinks all I have is my patented Jack cushion . . .” Jack poked said cushion underneath him with a sigh as he spoke. “. . . but I have more than that.” Jack reached into the bag pulling out several single-use warmer packs and offering Riley a couple of them. “You just squeeze them and shake them, and voila! Warmth.”  

“Thanks, Jack!” Riley happily shook the packets along with Jack, making like maracas to the still softly playing music. She then settled one between the chair and her very sore lower back and tucked the other into her hoodie right over her cramping belly, hoping it looked like she was warming her hands.

Jack gave her an assessing sort of look and then made a sound Riley knew meant Jack was feeling good about himself. The next moment, a bottle of Advil landed in her lap and Riley smiled, only slightly surprised now.  A packet of plain crackers appeared on the dash and Jack opened them pointing to let her know they were to share.

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.”  

They sat in comfortable companionship, regularly interrupted only by Mac and Bozer’s updates and by Jack’s occasional animated commentary on the various people wandering through the lobby on her laptop screen surveillance.  If there was one thing Riley was constantly having to relearn, it was that Jack was full of surprises.

Maybe this wasn’t the worst possible timing after all.

[lochrannn]

For the DVD fic commentary, can I ask about this passage from 'All Rest my Powers Defy': "Instead she turns and pokes him hard in the thigh with her finger. [...] his hand and lips still touching her ankle." (tumblr won't let me post a 500-word ask, dammit!)

Ah, the fic that started it all off XD XD

(All Rest my Powers Defy on AO3 I Tumblr)

Interestingly you picked exactly the scene I had in my head initially and then had to write 3k+ words to get to!

-

Instead she turns and pokes him hard in the thigh with her finger. “Why would I be avoiding you?” she asks with what she hopes isn't a pout. [I wanted this to be somewhat reminiscent of the scene on Elliot's bed. Sure, Lila was playing up the escaped psych ward patient thing but still, I liked the way she was sympathetic but kind of a bit silly because as becomes clear in the rest of that scene, doing sincere isn’t that easy for her. Like I’m 100% sure she deliberately elbowed him in the stab wound when she gave Diego a comforting pat]

Diego huffs out some air and quietly replies “I don't know.” [Diego can talk quite well when he’s helping others work through their shit or if he feels there are some truths they need to here, but so far the only time I remember him being challenged on his own feelings, was when Eudora talked to him after he turned Grace off and when Five asked him why he wanted to avenge Eudora and he ended up either struggling to talk or being a bit of a dick about it. To an extent, actually, both at the same time.]

“Jesus fuck, Diego, I came looking for you, didn't I? I've stuck around with your stupid apocalypse mission [Lila is so used to being part of the Commission and having an out out of time that in my interpretation she genuinely feels a bit like the Hargreeves are over-dramatic about their apocalypse nonsense. She doesn’t take it that seriously, she only came to help so she could stick around with them and maybe prove herself to the siblings and I think she’s annoyed that now she feels like she also has/had to prove herself to Diego]! Fuck, I've mostly played nice with the murderer of my parents [Yeah, she calls him that purely to guilt trip Diego...] for the last two weeks, what could possibly make you think I was avoiding you?” Lila looks up at him with exasperation and sees the guilt flash across his face at the mention of her parents [...and it works XD].

“I –“ he begins but when he can't get past the first word, he stops. And she suspects he does that so he doesn't end up stammering. She remembers him talking about that in group therapy at Holbrook, when, to Lila's horror, Diego would use his real feelings and trauma to try and soften Moncton to his cause. [I mean, I’m sorry, but he really was being a dumbass if he thought he was going to get out sooner if he just played along with therapy. Diego, my guy, you’re a pretty traumatised dude with a lifetime of bad coping mechanisms. Try something a little less dramatic than “My whole childhood was literally an experiment.” Sure, it’s true, but still, keep it light!] The thought of being that honest and open had genuinely caused cold fear to pool in the pit of Lila's stomach. Lying here in the bed next to Diego, though, with no one else around, she's reminded of the time she was lying on top of Elliott's fold out couch and had, for the very first time in her adult life, been honest and unguarded with anyone who wasn't her mother the Handler [you know what, I’m not so sure I like the strike out thing anymore. I had seen similar things done in other fic and really liked the visual representation of Lila’s issue with how to refer to the Handler now even in her own head, but I think those other fics did it better]. She's encouraged by the thought that she's managed it before, so maybe she can do it again.

Lila waits to see if Diego will go on. She knows he hated being talked over as a kid and wants to give him a chance if he has more to say [She definitely knows this because she was pretty bad about it at the asylum (just to get under his skin), until he blew up at her and threatened to never talk to her again, not because they had some calm and gentle heart to heart about it XD]. But he just slowly blinks and then looks down at his hands. 

[Ok, this interaction here, this is what just popped into my head one day and then wouldn’t go away until I wrote some fic about it. Again, it just seems like something Lila would do. There’s so much physicality to the way they interact that I just thought that if neither of them quite knew how to go on with words, one of them would do something physical, seek out some contact, and Lila is already being a bit silly in how she’s planted herself on the bed] On a whim Lila lifts her leg closest to him off the wall, swings it around and lets it fall diagonally across his chest, hitting him hard enough with her calf to make him huff out some air in surprise. Diego looks back at her face and she can see the beginnings of a smile. This is familiar. This is reminiscent of her antics at the asylum. It makes things just a little more normal and comfortable between them.

Diego grabs her ankle and she starts to roll her eyes at him but is interrupted by her breath leaving her in a gasp when she suddenly feels his lips brush against the sensitive, exposed skin between the top of her sock and the bottom of her trousers that have fallen up her leg a little [I agonised over the correct description here XD. Like ok, the trouser leg has gone up her leg, as in the top of the leg is in the direction of the hip, the bottom is ankles and so on, that’s the case whichever way round you’re positioned. But of course the trousers haven’t fallen physically up, like you might fall up some stairs, but rather they actually have gone downwards with gravity. So yeah, gave myself a minor headache trying to decide whether my personal instinct on this would make sense to everyone reading this]. [Also, unrelated to the trouser logistics, I squeed a bit myself at the thought that if Diego was holding her ankle and saw the skin he’d instinctively press a kiss to her skin without really thinking about it just made me feel things! There’s the fact that he’s of course been wanting to kiss her the whole time, he’s just been too dumb and angry about it. The arse over tit way that it’s almost a bit like a romantic kiss of the hand, and maybe even some implications of fealty and submission…. But I haven’t thought too hard about this]

She looks up at him almost in shock, her heart in her throat, and her expression must give him pause because he looks back at her like a deer caught in the headlights, his hand and lips still touching her ankle. [Because, as I said, he’s not even really thought about it, but he’s so caught out that he doesn’t even think to pull away XD]

-

Ok, I think I’m falling short on awful puns, but beyond that I hope this helps XP

[nightswithkookmin]

GOING ON A HIATUS

Thanks to everyone who's taken the time out to read my posts and has enjoyed it so far. It's really been fun and entertaining exchanging thoughts and having these much deeper ship discussions.

I thought this issue was gonna go away but I woke up this morning to more people messaging me about finding my last video analysis on several other platforms without appropriate credit.

But that's not disturbing. The disturbing part is the people sliding into people's DM'S on other platforms to get them to take down my video because they don't want people sharing my content on other platforms as they believe it would only make my blog popular.

For those worried about this whole credit business, thanks for showing this much concern for me? I really appreciate the love and concern if it's from a genuine place of concern. Thank you...

I think some of you already know this by now or might have figured it out, I am a law student, I am very much well aware what is and what isn't within my rights? Lol

I honestly didn't see this whole credit thingy as a big deal. It's not. Not to me. Lol. I repost people's photos without credit too all the time. Often, it's because I don't know who to credit and most time my lazy ass just forgets to. Lol. I think it's normal? It's inconsequential I mean.

The videos I use are usually often water marked by the appropriate owners so I don't go through the hustle of figuring this whole credit business out. If I should decide to come back here again I will check that habit of mine?

While this whole credit business is not a big deal to me, malicious slander and defamation to my character is and I don't take it lightly.

It has been brought to my attention that some Jikookers from Tumblr have since been sliding into people's DM's on other platforms asking them to take down my video and or remove the credit they give to my post.

They are telling people I am problematic, calling me the Taekook Lives of the Jikook community. That I have been spreading lies about Jikook, that the Jikook Tumblr community hates me or something like that and to further caricaturize me and make me appear more evil in order to get people to turn on me and hate me, they make up the most ridiculous lies about me claiming that I believe a notorious serial killer is innocent.

Now I have since deleted my YT account because I don't want my colleagues to find out I am into shipping too lol- shipping is a guilty pleasure of mine and I know how this fandom works unfortunately. I've been a silent part of it since 2014. I mean it's started already. The Doxing and shit.

The original post under which these replies are from couldn't save sadly as my account has been deleted but you can see from my notifications the general feel of what my interests outside shipping looks like.

I am interested in a myriad of topics, from literature, Aliens, writing, Harry Potter, history, activism, advocacy, philosophy, law, politics, NASA, and mystery and murder among other things.

My quora is mostly filled with notifications from my Book community and True crime community and often I do share my thoughts and answer questions with regards to the psychology of murderers, legal evidence, notorious villains in literature- well I guess now you know the kind of lawyer I want to be if and when I'm able to complete law school.

But what has my interest in these topics got to do with Jikook and shipping please?? How does this prove I hate Jikook and spread lies about them?

This Kookie Min Monsta person slipped into someone's DMS and asked the person who had put up my video analysis to take it down or discredit me because to her I am problematic. She is not the only one.

You want so bad to paint me black- no pun intended just to win an argument? You claim I am the evil malicious person here but I am not the one sliding into people's dms trying to take credit away from people for their hardwork, spreading hate and negative energy, making things up to manipulate people's perception of others and get them to hate and turn on them- and all because of A SHIP? Damn. This is pathetic.

Who died and made you the gatekeeper of the jikook shipping community? Honestly antics like these don't work on me try again.

I made a video commentary on my Booktube YT account- yes I am part of the book YouTube community as well sue me or better still slip into their inboxes and tell them I voted for Trump therefore I hate chipmunks.

The commentary I made on YT months ago was when I was in the highs of finding a new passion and it was on Ann Rule's book, The Stranger Besides Me- a true crime novel on Ted Bundy which I found so poorly written that at the end of the book it left with me wondering whether or not Ted Bundy was guilty at all!

The Author's writing style which deviates from most writing styles of True Crime novels I have read gave me trust issues as I stated in the video. It felt more as if she was writing a made up fictional novel than an actual True Crime novel but because she knew Ted Bundy in person she made it seem as if we just had to believe her account.

Then there was this whole thing about the police not being able to match the DNA samples taken from his rape victims, to his own Semen because his Semen was DNAless- in lay man's terms. I'll spare you the technicalities involved.

As I stated in that video, I do believe Ted Bundy was guilty but I do not have much faith in the Judicial system, or criminal procedures or even the Author of that book- a sentiment most people within the true crime community share as well. We just had differing views on whether the writer's style took away from the narrative and waters down on the extent of Bundy's guilt.

We had a Similar conversation about Chris Watt. If the community I was engaging in didn't have a problem with my commentary why do you? Please don't meddle in things you know nothing about. It's embarrassing.

The conversation about whether or not Ted Bundy is innocent is moot but a philosophical one. It has nothing to do with Ted Bundy's guilt but more so the criminal procedures involved in his case and the different accounts that exists surrounding his case.

He was electrocuted, he confessed to his crimes no damn person with brains would think or assume he is innocent and I never said anything of that nature drew any conclusions to that effect.

Besides, I moved on from Ted Bundy a long time ago. Now I am into the Serial Killer who writes death poems and signs it off with drawings of the size of his dick at his crime scenes- mind your own business please or don't and let's have an intellectual discourse about him? Lmho.

I am also into cat memes if you care to know and have a whole IG dedicated to cat memes. I believe human beings are the most dumbest species in all the galaxies and when the Aliens arrive I am snitching.

When my mind is at rest, I often wonder if Aliens have masculinity complex and if they do whether or not their masculinity is contingent on the size of their dicks or whether they have to engage in a battle to the death with an alien grizzly bear to determine who is the man.

I love BTS memes too- a little too much and often end up debating over the internet with random people over whether BTS memes are funnier than cat memes- I'm weird, true. But how does all of that make me a bad person?

It's crazy how these people can go on these other platforms to ask people to take down the credits to my posts as well as my posts itself but can't ask people who run to these other platforms with misinterpretations of my work to take those down.

Instead they come on here to call me out for people's interpretations of my work?? It doesn't work that way. You are the author of your own opinion and interpretation of other people's work. You don't call out the original author for someone's opinion of their work. If that were so I would be emailing Stephanie Meyer for Anna Todd and her After series. Get some education.

I have since blocked this person and others whose Tumblr I have been able to find thanks to all those that's helped me finding them on here.

My gf also tried reaching out to the persons who shared my post after we realised this was becoming an issue and had asked them to credit her or my blog- but honestly I don't care about that yet she won't give it a rest. Lol. My ride or die this one. Sigh.

However, we realized soon that this is not about 'stealing' credit- can't call someone out for not giving credit when I suck at that myself. Lol.

This is about people's malicious intentions and their attempts to silence me and take away my right to freedom of expression however way that they can. This is wrong and evil.

I honestly don't care for all these ship politics these people are engaged in. I've had enough intelligent conversations to know the distinction between arguments that flows from bruised egos and actual conversations around a subject matter.

This whole I am right, she is wrong politics... y'all get that the point of having an opinion is not to be right, right? We all cant have the same perspective and you can't call someone a liar for holding views that is different from yours. That is a bizarre mentality to have.

As I stated in my post, that content I made was a rebuttal to the Taekook theories running around on the internet alleging JK glared at Tae when he pulled on his shoulder because he was jealous Tae and Jin were having fun behind him. He wasn't. He was worried Tae was gonna expose him and JM holding hands behind Suga.

If you don't think they were holding hands then Taekookers were right and his reaction was because he was Jealous of Taejin I guess...

But thats your truth. That's not my truth. I don't believe Taekook is real. JK isn't jealous of Taejin he is not Twelve- but then again he was sneaking around behind Suga holding his boyfriend's hands so I guess he is twelve? Lol. Jikook!

Do you.

But please stop the evil malicious attacks and seek immediate help. There is such a thing as right and wrong and this is just plain wrong. Your Karma and chakra are in the negative nodes and you need to fix it. It is not funny anymore.

Thank you to everyone who has shown genuine concerns for me in the past few days and thank you so much for trying to stand up for me. There are good people on here and I have met and interacted with a lot of them and thank you so much for such a wonderful experience and insightful discussions.

I don't hate people because of our differences in thoughts, beliefs, opinions. There's always room for dissenting opinions in every sphere. At the very least, we can agree to disagree and shake on it. But You can't make up shit about people just to prove your opinion is right and their opinions and views which differ from yours are 'wrong.

I am not a victim though, and they are not bullies, psst. They are just vile pathetic human beings exposing the greens of their insides. What you do says more about who you are as a person and human being. And this is who they are.

Just be a nice decent human being. That's what this world needs. Fix whatever is broken inside of you and free your mind and spirit. Hate is never the answer.

I'm going to be away for a while because I have studies, work and other interests I want to pursue at the moment- it's just my AADD flaring up so if you see me henceforth raving about Nana at least you'd know why. Lol. She's wrecking my Jimin bias. Lmho.

Spread positivity, do the right thing, stand up for a good cause and keep supporting Jikook. Jikook is real.

Until we meet again.

Signed,

GOLDY

[singtotheskiies]

Hi can I make a request? Scott Lang x team cap!reader where they get to know each other in the car ride during Civil War and during the fight 🤣 but like when they open the door like in the movie and he is like asleep and wakes up, the reader is like drooling on him and its funny? And after the home arrest at the end they go and visit him secretly because they escaped with the others. Sorry for my English ❤

request: Hi can I make a request? Scott Lang x team cap!reader where they get to know each other in the car ride during Civil War and during the fight 🤣 but like when they open the door like in the movie and he is like asleep and wakes up, the reader is like drooling on him and its funny? And after the home arrest at the end they go and visit him secretly because they escaped with the others. Sorry for my English ❤

summary: the civil war between the avengers may have bred a lot of tension and strife, but it brought you one good thing—scott lang.

words: 2432

warnings: none, it’s just fluff:))

a/n: scott is a literal angel bb; i got so into writing this imagine🥺🥺i hope you enjoy!!!!

✖️✖️✖️

You sit in the back of the white van, looking straight ahead at the back of Wanda’s head in front of you. Clint is driving, shoulders set stiffly, his knuckles white around the wheel. If you had to pick one word to describe the mood of the car, you would have to go with an obvious “silent.” Everyone seems grim—everyone except for Scott, who’s sitting next to you—so close, in fact, that you could feel him—

“Are you—vibrating?” you ask in disbelief, looking at him sideways.

“I—uh—you just talked to me?”

“Yeah?”

“Oh my god, wow, I definitely haven’t been waiting like years for this to happen, I mean look at you, you’re just—“

You’re full-on staring at him now, brow furrowed in confusion and amusement.

“Thanks—I think?”

“God, I just—I’m such a huge fan of yours. My daughter Cassie loves what you do, she can’t get enough of you on the news. ‘Record it, Daddy!’ she always says when you’re on, and I say, ‘Okay, peanut!’ because I want to watch you as much as she does, and—oh, lord, I’m making such a fool of myself, I’m sorry—“

“Hey, it’s okay! Just—take a breather,” you say, chuckling. “That’s—really flattering, actually. Very nice of you.”

“Oh, wow,” Scott says, and you can actually see him blush at your words. “Um, thanks—that means a lot.”

“Hey, I’ve heard of what you’ve done, too. Pretty amazing stuff,” you say, and his face practically glows.

“Aw, it’s nothing—I mean, compared to you, I’m just insignificant. Like an ant—okay, that was horrible,” he trails off. Once he sees you laughing at his unintended joke, he visibly relaxes and smiles along with you.

“You know, Scott,” you say, “I think the fact you were asked here is pretty telling of your abilities. They wouldn’t have wanted you to come if they didn’t think you were capable.” He looks down shyly, murmuring a thanks, and you grin at him. You’re beginning to get an idea of this man—adorable, dorky, determined with a heart of gold. He’s not too hard on the eyes, either.

“Hey, Scott, tell me some more about your daughter,” you say, and the two of you strike up a conversation.

At some point, Clint yells at the two of you to pipe down, muttering something about not being able to think over your laughter. Wanda just shoots you a smug look, raising her eyebrows suggestively. You roll your eyes at her, muttering “grumpy ol’ Clint” before turning back to Scott and talking at a reduced volume.

✖️✖️✖️

After some time, Scott notices you stifle a series of yawns. Your eyes start to droop, and he finds your slow blinks stupidly endearing. “Sleepy?” he asks softly.

You giggle, and he swears his heart bursts from how cute it is. “Yeah, a little. The car’s moving really smoothly and y—“ You trail off.

“What?”

“It’s nothing, I just—I guess your voice is pretty soothing, too,” you say, and Scott clears his throat subconsciously.

“Uh, thanks! I mean, I think that’s what I should say—sorry, it’s—that’s really nice of you, thanks,” he stutters out, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and pride. You smile at him before yawning again, covering your wide-open mouth with a hand he wishes he could hold. He doesn’t think he could ever work up the courage to do that, but your compliment makes him feel a little powerful. Adrenaline rushing through him, he opens his mouth to make an offer.

“Um, if you’re—y’know��tired, you could always, like, rest your head on my shoulder if you wanted? Of course, I’m not trying to force you or anything, but it might be more comfortable than the window. Or maybe not. But, uh, offer still sta—“ His rambling is cut off by your (very soft and nice-smelling) head softly landing on the offered shoulder. He stiffens at first, unsure of how to react, but eventually leans his head onto yours, feeling your hair brush against his cheek. He fully intends to stay awake to savor every single second of your presence, but your steady breathing, soft body, and comforting smell all but force him to drift softly into sleep.

✖️✖️✖️

The sound of voices outside the van rouses you, and you start when you remember you had fallen asleep on Scott shoulder. God, how embarrassing, you think, sitting up straight. To make matters worse, there’s a dark patch on Scott’s shoulder that makes your heart drop. You couldn’t possibly have—drooled on his shoulder, could you? Hopefully he won’t notice. Looking up, you realize that the two of you are alone in the van. He’s still asleep, leaning back onto the headrest. You’re about to gently shake him awake when the van door slams open, blinding your still-sleepy eyes with daylight.

Scott jumps, also startling awake. “What time zone is this?” he asks, and you laugh before hopping out of the van and realizing that standing in front of you is the rest of your team. You nod and wave at Steve, Sam, and Bucky—you had fought with them a few times before.

Scott rushes by you, exclaiming “Captain America!” and shaking the mentioned hero’s hand vigorously. His eyes are full of adoration as he continues, “It’s an honor! I’m shaking your hand too long—“ He steps back, an awkwardly adorable smile on his face as he clumsily introduces himself to everyone else. After introductions, it‘s time to get suited up, and the two of you walk side by side.

“Hey, uh, I’m sorry for—y’know,” you say, motioning to his still-damp shoulder.

“No, it’s okay—I don’t mind. My mom always used to say that drooling meant you were sleeping really well. So I’m glad you were comfortable,” he says, laughing.

“I most certainly was,” you answer, laughing with him.

“You were so calm meeting them, I mean, wow, that’s impressive! I know you’ve fought with them before, but I would still be losing my mind if I was anywhere near Cap,” he continues.

“They’re just like the rest of us,” you say. “Powerful, yes, but also imperfect people who need help. I’m just here to provide that help.”

“Wow,” Scott says, staring at you with doe eyes. “That’s something else.”

You just smile affectionately at him.

✖️✖️✖️

Scott is speechless for a full minute when he sees you in your fighting gear. Standing stock-still in shock, he manages out a “You—look—wow—even better in person,” and you grin.

“Not too bad yourself, Lang. It suits you,” you say, before chuckling. “Now it’s my turn to make a bad pun.”

Scott manages to quirk one side of his mouth up before Cap’s voice breaks him out of his daze—time to fight.

Punching and ducking and flipping, you manage to land quite a few hits for your team. You’re getting good feedback over the comms, and you continue to fight, maneuvering around the opposing Avengers fluidly. As focused as you are on fighting, you can’t help but notice how innovative and successful Scott’s tactics are. Plus, his commentary makes you chuckle more times than you’d care to admit. One time, he’d even used your shoulder for a running jump, and feeling his tiny feet as they pounded across you was definitely an interesting experience.

There comes a point in the fight where your team needs a little momentum, and Scott offers his help without hesitating.

“I got something kind of big, but I can’t hold it for long. On my signal, run like hell. If I tear myself in half—don’t come back for me,” he says.

“He’s gonna tear himself in half?” Bucky asks.

“You’re sure about this, Scott?” Steve adds.

“Scott, that doesn’t seem reasonable,” you say, trying to conceal some of the overpowering worry in your voice. “You could really get hurt.”

From your hiding place, you can see Scott look right in your direction. “I do it all the time,” he says. “Well, once—in a lab. Then I passed out.” You shake your head at him: this doesn’t sound at all good.

“Scott!” you cry, but he’s already running, repeating “I’m the boss, I’m the boss,” in an apparent attempt to psych himself up. He jumps, landing on Rhodey’s back. In a split second, he’s the size of a building, towering over the airfield.

“Oh my god,” you murmur, staring up at him. Your attention is soon captured by Steve’s hand on your arm.

“We gotta get out of here!” He yells over the noise of the fight.

“We can’t leave Scott!” you scream back, but Steve is already dragging you toward the exit. “Hey, are you hearing me?”

“He’ll be fine!” Steve says, gripping your arm tighter. “He’s smart; he’ll figure it out!” You hear the shot of Tony’s machine heading for the two of you and duck under a car, using the opportunity to pull free of Steve’s hand. Ignoring his calls after you, you break into a run, heading back to where Scott is being tangled up by the spider-kid.

“Scott, c’mon!” you shout through the comm. “Everyone’s safe except for the two of us!”

“Y’know, I’d really like to, but this kid’s got me all tangled up,” Scott yells back. “This stuff is really sti—woah!” His giant form begins to topple, and you run instinctively, jumping and landing a hard hit on the teen—Peter, you thought.

“Sorry, kid,” you say. No hard feelings.” You turn your focus to Scott, who’s about to hit the ground. You can only pray he’s able to size down before he wrecks the whole place—and, very possibly, himself.

At the last possible moment, he shrinks to his normal height, hitting the ground with a thud that makes you wince. Without even thinking, you run to him and kneel down.

“Does anyone have any orange slices?” he quips, and in your utter relief, you wrap him in a tight hug. You notice that even after having fought, he smelled really, really good.

“Ow,” he muttered, and you pulled away.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I totally forgot—“ you stammered. “Did I hurt you at all?”

“No, no, it’s all good,” he said, falling back onto the ground. “It—felt really nice. I mean, yeah, you were pressing against some scrapes and all, but you, uh, well—it was—very nice.”

You sigh in relief before remembering that the two of you were very much in the middle of a battle zone. “We gotta get out of here,” you say. “Are you good to stand?”

“Probably,” Scott says, wincing. “Although I might need some help.”

“Get up here,” you say, standing and reaching a hand out to him. He manages to get upright, but limps a bit and seems generally stiff. You offer an arm to support him as the two of you run, definitely not paying attention to the defined muscles stretching under your hand. The two of you manage to make it to the quinjet, sprinting inside to safety as you dodge blasts from Tony and Rhodey’s suits.

✖️✖️✖️

An hour later, you’re sitting in the quinjet, dabbing some hydrogen peroxide on a cut on Scott’s cheek. You frown as you reach a particularly stubborn spot, shifting so that you draw closer to him, legs further intertwining with his. As you move the cotton gently towards his hairline, your eyes are drawn to his. You’re surprised to find that he’s gazing at you, expression soft and half-lidded in admiration. When he notices you look back, he gives you a shy smile, eyes crinkling up adorably.

“Thanks for helping me back there,” he whispers.

“You’re more than welcome. I couldn’t just leave you there. I was worried.”

“Wow, you—really? About lil ol’ me?”

You hum in affirmation, feeling your heart soar strangely in your throat as you take in the man in front of you. Leaning forward, you press a gentle kiss to his uninjured cheek and get the pleasure of seeing a rosy blush spread all the way down his neck. You reposition yourself so that you’re sitting next to him, placing your head on his shoulder a second time.

And when his hand finds yours, hesitant, searching, you can’t bring yourself to care about anything else.

✖️✖️✖️

You knock on the door, readjusting your dark glasses and ballcap as you wait for Scott to answer. Even though what you’re doing is probably illegal, you know how Scott values connection despite his awkwardness. You’ve taken the liberty of visiting him, bringing him snacks and little gifts and games you’d think he’d enjoy—and, hopefully, best of all—yourself.

You hear his footsteps nearing the door, crashing into something on the way followed by a subdued curse of pain. He’s still grimacing when your eyes meet his, but the expression quickly morphs into one of disbelief.

“W—what are you doing here!” he exclaims, looking equally floored and excited at your presence.

“Thought you might be a little lonely, so I thought I’d help,” you say, lifting up the bag of gifts and food.

“Well—wow—uh—please, come in.”

As you step inside, Scott whirls around the room, adjusting small objects and not-so-small messes as he does do. “Gosh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know anyone was coming. Especially you! I mean, I would have, y’know, actually cleaned up if I’d known—“ He looks at you sheepishly, but you just smile.

“I think it’s perfect, Scott. Now what say we have a look at what I broughtcha, huh?”

He rummages through the bag with the eagerness of a child, and you watch him affectionately exclaim at each new thing he finds. When he reaches the last object, he looks up at you in complete awe.

“Thank you! I—uh—I don’t know what to say,” he says.

“Hey, it’s my pleasure,” you say, beaming at him.

“Um—do you, uh, have anywhere else to go today?” Scott asks, not meeting your eyes.

“Hmm—not that I can think of,” you reply, grinning.

“Would you like to—well, y’know—hang out some? We can try to make a dent in all this food,” he says, voice adorably unsure and excited all at once.

“I’d love that,” you say.

Later that night, he somehow works up the courage to kiss you on the couch while you watch a movie. It’s soft, reverent almost, and he places his forehead on yours afterwards, eyes closed in bliss, awestruck breath coming in the form of a barely-there giggle.

“You’re amazing,” he says, and you assure him you feel the same with another series of short, soft kisses.

[rawiswhore]

Triple H, Shawn Michaels x Fem Reader- "Working With Meat"

At the beginning of 1998, the World Wrestling Federation was undergoing a makeover, where they now had a rougher, edgier looking logo and a new name, as well as altercate a new beginning to the WWF.

What was once a family friendly, cartoonish and colorful company that seemed like a live action Saturday morning cartoon aimed at kids was now becoming much darker, edgier, much more violent, sexual, boundary pushing and even shocking.

And who helped initiate this new era of the World Wrestling Federation?

Not just Stone Cold Steve Austin, Kane, Mankind and even Brian Pillman, but a wrestling group known as D Generation X, comprised of Shawn Michaels, Chyna, you and who is now known as Triple H.

The former Ravishing Rick Rude was even a member and manager of D Generation X, but he was a completely pointless and unnessesary member who did nothing for this company.

Despite that the WWF's rival company, WCW, has a hugely popular wrestling faction called the NWO increasing WCW's ratings, the WWF now have their own answer to the NWO known as D Generation X.

And while many could argue DX are a rip-off of NWO, the WWF LOVES them already and is eating them up.

D Generation X pretty much personified what was known as the WWF's Attitude era and are even part of the reason it was called that.

They were rebellious, disrespectful, boundary pushing and savage, doing anything that could piss people off, especially the censors.

But...wasn't the Attitude era pretty much like that in general? Hence the name "WWF ATTITUDE"?

In January of 1998, after the entire arena had gone black while the Undertaker's entrance music played, the audience hoping to see the Undertaker, only for the lights to turn on to reveal it's actually Shawn Michaels dressed as the Undertaker whilst he stripped out of that costume...

As D Generation X's Rage Against the Machine-knockoff entrance theme played, Triple H walked to the ring wearing an apron with a rather brash, vulgar quote while holding a huge paper bag in one hand while his other hand was gripping onto a crutch snug under his arm.

You joined in with him, wearing nothing but a short little apron while you rolled and escorted a grill (no, not those diamond covered tooth covers that rappers wear) to the ring.

This got the audience's attention, especially the males, whose eyes were on you wearing nothing but a small little apron, their eyes growing wide.

Women and girls were cheering for Shawn Michaels stripping his outfit off, whereas males were cheering for you dressed in nothing but a short little apron, although you had a thong underneath your apron and some stiletto heels.

Besides males cheering for you, some of them were even making those corny "wolf whistles" at you like how they make at an attractive woman.

Jerry Lawler's eyes, of course, were on you while you walked to the ring wearing nothing but a small apron, he was smiling from ear to ear while his eyes were bugged out.

"Is she wearin' nothin' but an apron?!" Jerry shrieked at the commentary table.

Yes, yes you are.

Your outfit of choice was inspired by Renee Zellwegger's character in the movie "Empire Records", during the scene where she's wearing nothing but a small little apron.

"She's got a barbeque grill!" Jerry shrieked.

"They're gonna have a cookout!" Jim Ross chimmed in on commentary.

When you and Triple H had gotten close to the ring, Shawn was now by the ropes around the ring, where you and Trips both had lifted the barbeque grill up from the floor and handed it to Shawn.

Shawn grabbed that grill and lifted it over the ropes, holding onto that grill and carrying it while he walked to the center of the ring, placing the grill in the middle.

Triple H and you, meanwhile, entered the ring by sliding under the ropes, lifting yourselves up from the ring, whereas Triple H grabbed the paper bag he was previously carrying.

When you and Trips were standing in the ring, you and he walked to the center of the ring where Shawn was, where Triple H pulled out a white chef's hat from the bag he was holding and handed it to Shawn.

Shawn placed that hat on top of his head, trying to fit it around his head, whereas Triple H pulled another chef's hat out and placed it on his head this time.

Trips' chef's hat fell off of his head when he was pointing his index finger to the message on his apron in front of the camera filming him, but your hand grabbed onto the chef's hat that fell off of his head and placed it back on top of his head again, where it thankfully didn't fall off.

What was the message on Triple H's apron?

S*ck the cook, as in, suck the cook, although the letter "u" had to be censored.

Now you know why that apron he wore had an obscene, vulgar quote on it.

Shawn, on the other hand, lifted that Undertaker costume and long haired black wig he was previously wearing on top of the barbeque grill, indicating that you're gonna roast the Undertaker.

Triple H and you were looking down inside that huge paper bag, sticking your hands in that bag and pulling out a bag of marshmallows as well as a little packet of hot dogs, placing those things on top of the grill.

Shawn was holding onto a barbeque fork that was already attached to the grill you brought to the ring.

D Generation X's entrance music faded away and cut off, while Triple H carried a microphone in one of his hands instead of a huge paper bag that he sat down in the ring, Shawn was holding onto and wiggling a hot dog he pulled out of the packet.

"Y'know, Shawn and I both got jumbo weenies!" Triple H stated, pulling another hot dog out of that plastic packet and holding it up. "But y/n, show us what you're bringing to the barbeque, girl!"

While you had an ear to ear shit eating grin plastered on your face and your hands on your hips, you bent your body down and your hand reached down in that plastic bag, pulling out a huge salami, your mouth still grinning while your eyes looked at that huge salami.

You held up that salami with a huge smile on your face like you were presenting this meat like it was something to be proud of.

It was a treat when you bent down, because the audience could see some of your thong underneath your apron.

"That is the BIG stick!" Triple H exclaimed. "Hey Shawn, where'd you get those cool clothes you came out here with? A fire sale?"

"Well y/n, Triple H" Shawn started. "How do you like your Undertaker? Do you like him rare, medium or well done?"

Shawn and Triple H proceeded to cut a promo towards the Undertaker and Owen Hart, stuff you don't give a crap about.

While they were cutting a promo, in particular Triple H, you were staring at Trips with a wide grin on your face like you really wanted him.

You walked closer to him so you could snuggle up right next to him, leaning and pressing your body next to his.

You snuggled yourself next to the opposite part of Triple H's body that didn't have a crutch under his arm.

One of your arms draped across his shoulders, whereas your other hand was on his chest, your index finger drawing circles on his chest.

As you did this to him, your eyes were looking up and down at him while you grinned at him, thirsting over him.

After Triple H was comparing his manhood to Owen's, Triple H offered to show the audience why you stuck with Shawn and Trips instead of the Undertaker and Owen (and anyone else, for the most part, for that matter).

Triple H moved the microphone towards your lips, the camera zoomed in on your face.

"Well, Triple H and Shawn have such big, hot, juicy, delicious meat" you confessed, putting emphasis on the word "delicious". "I can still feel their meat's hot juices in my mouth and running down my throat"

One of your hands moved to your throat and motioned their juices running down your throat, although you didn't choke and strangle yourself.

Men and women got some of the sexual innuendo you were saying, and the women shrieked and squealed when you gushed over Triple H and Shawn's meat, and you're not talking about what they're grilling.

Triple H was grinning whilst you said this about him, his eyes looking at you while you mentioned that.

Shawn, too, was grinning as you gushed over his private parts.

Triple H then moved his microphone back to his mouth.

"Even though I've got her by my side" Triple H stated "For all you California girls out there..."

Women in the audience started cheering and squealing when they heard they were called.

Shawn handed Triple H that huge salami you pulled out of the bag, and as Triple H held that huge meat, he proceeded to make a pun about Ric Flair and then a sexual innuendo, thrusting his crotch while he had that huge salami you pulled out of the plastic bag in front of his crotch.

Speaking of which, while Triple H was holding onto that huge salami, your fingers wrapped around that salami (not his penis) and proceeded to start slowly pumping and cranking your hand up and down that salami like you're masturbating it.

No, you weren't masturbating his penis, but that huge salami you pulled out of a plastic bag.

Sometimes, your fingers rotated around that salami.

As you looked like you were jacking off that salami, the men in the audience loved this, cheering for you, whereas Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler's eyes bugged out of their sockets and were at a loss for words.

You were grinning wickedly from ear to ear as you looked like you were masturbating this huge salami and Shawn was cutting a promo.

Triple H interrupted Shawn's promo sometime, to mention you.

"She's obviously hungry for some of my sausage!" Triple H stated, pointing his thumb to you, to which you nodded your head whilst smiling. "Well, you'll have to wait a while until after this is over"

Your smile then turned into a pout, sticking your bottom lip out and looking disappointed.

"Don't worry" Triple H calmed to you, to which your eyes looked at him. "Shawn and I've got some hot dogs that will fill your buns!"

You smiled from ear to ear, to which the women in the audience shrieked hearing that innuendo, even Shawn cackled a bit hearing that pun.

"She'll have a bite of our hot dogs soon!" Triple H added, thrusting his crotch out while one of his hands made a chopping motion next to his crotch.

The audience got out of their seats and roared in delight, cheering.

"Oh, will you stop that!" Jim Ross said rather angrily.

Shawn proceeded to still cut a promo, you were looking at Shawn or either at Triple H, you looking at Triple H and sometimes Shawn like you wanted to fuck him while you had your mouth grinning at him.

You didn't really like the way Shawn looked with facial hair, Shawn was hotter without it.

_____________________________________________________________

I've always had this fantasy of my female wrestling original character I created being the main female in D Generation X instead of Chyna, as well as this fantasy of my female wrestling OC doing all of this stuff (wearing nothing but an apron, gushing about Triple H and Shawn's meat).

And today is the 4th of July, where people have barbeques!

[flameo-hotman]

Legend of Korra episode 6

Noodles part two

Ah yeah!!!! Destroy these trash pics of the trash man!

OH COME THE ACTUAL FUCK ON AMON!!!!!! STOP FUCKING WITH THE TUNES!!!!!!! JUST BECAUSE JAZZ IS BETTER THAN YOUR UGLY ASS SOUL DOESNT MEAN YOU HAVE TO RUIN IT FOR THE REST OF US!!!!!!!! DID YOU JUST FUCKING SCARE MY POOR PABU AWAY FROM THE RAIDO WITH YOUR RANCID ASS VOICE?!?!? THATS FUCKING IT YOU AND ME AMON!!!!!!!! I AN GONNA SHOVE A WHOLE JAR OF MAYONNAISE UP YOU FUCKING NOSTRAILS!!!!!!!

Okay I guess Tarrlok isn’t all bad if he actually gives a shot about the people in this city. I still don’t like him and he gives me Zhao vibes. He can suck a bison toe though..

HELL YEAH CHEIF BEIFONG!!!!!!!!!! LET LIN HAVE HER WAY BECAUSE SHE IS FUCKING HELLA AWESOME!!!!!!!!

What

The

Actual

Fuck

Lin is Tenzin’s ex.

Yahl can’t lie to me. Oh god no.

Pema

No

Tenzin if you cheat on your fucking wife I will personally castrate you. I swear to my noodles I will.

I swear on my coffee I will burn Republic City to the ground if that’s what it comes to.

DO

NOT

CHEAT

ON

YOUR

WIFE

Yes Korra I had the same realization.

I am living for this sce-

KORRRA NOOOOOOOOOO YOU WILL NOT SHIP IT JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE WILLING TO KISS SOMEONE IN A RELATIONSHIP!!!!!!!

The Equalists are targeting the arena are they. That threat was just a distraction to draw the police force away from their real goal. I am calling it now. That is the trope they are using and it is a damn good trope.

OH MY GOD PABU YOU LOOK SO FUCKING CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quick! Someone get the cutie potato a treat for being such a sweet baby bug!!!!!!

Ahhhhhh!!!! You did so good sweet baby Pabu!!!!

I agree Korra.

These wolf bats are dirty fucking cheaters. The refs are on the pay for them ain’t they.

KICK THIS FUCKERS ASS KORRA!!!!!!!

Good job Korra. That was sly and I loved it.

Ohhhhhhh I was wrong. The Equalists were gonna hit the tournament. (Maybe this is a means of keeping the police occupied while the actual attack happens somewhere else?)

Zazp zazp buzz buzz

Oh wow this announcer is fucking dedicated. Good for him. I wish him the best so someone better save his ass right the fuck now.

Oh

Oh no

Jesus fuck

Fucking shit

PABU SWEET BABY!!!!!!! GOOD PABU!!!!!!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 Treats for a Pabu yes? Good Pabu!

Hey Korra maybe don’t go after Amon?

FUCK YEAH!!!!!! LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNN BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIII FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG!!!!!!!!

Okay Amon that was pretty neat.

Lin is like Spider-Man!!!! She is awesome!!!!!!

End of episode six...

Final thoughts?

Okay so the Wolf Bats don’t matter anymore. I do feel kind of bad for them. They were jerks but they didn’t deserve to have their bending taken away.

Pabu and Lin were the real hero’s of this episode.

Korra kicked serious ass.

Pabu looked so adorable in his little cute outfit.

And holy fuck

The Equalists... I mean what can I say? That was shocking. 😅😅😅 Bad pun I know... I had certain exspections based on my knowledge of tropes on writing and television, but they not only subverted my exspectations, they did so in a way that was well written and impactful.

Normally my knowledge of tropes lets me predict how a show is going to go with certainty and I sit there feeling smug that I was right and that the writers couldn’t pull a fast one on me. But Korra actually has way better writing then yahl were telling me and I am astonished.

It has been years since I watched or read anything that I couldn’t predict (unless the plot was just random because of bad writing.) and this is a breath of fresh air. It leaves me realing and totally out of my element.

I Am Loving This.

Like yes I know my running commentary through my actual watching of the show is pretty much just random quips and predictions but when I actually take a moment to stop and think the writing is amazing.

And the passing so far is really good.

Why did I let people talk me out of watching this show for years? They hadn’t even watched it. This is honestly a really good sequel show. And as long as we approach it like it is a different story in the Atla universe with different characters then I think we can learn to appreciate this show a lot more.

In short I would die for Pabu. And I actually really like the writing.

[danwhobrowses]

WWE Wrestlemania 37 Day 2 - Review

And we are back! Wrestlemania hit hard with Day 1, good shit and big moments fitting of the show

So let's see if Day 2 can match up to it, lots of big matches on the card, we'll see how it goes.

See the Night 1 Review Here

Spoilers for Night 2 and References to Night 1 included, you have been Warned

Pre-Show Like the last Night, no matches on the Pre-Show, just drivel and promos. So the same criticisms really, Lawler saying 'Wrestlerainia' doesn't make it any better than when Cole said it, his attempts at jokes were awful even when they were his material. When they recapped Night 1 though they should've shown footage of Ford celebrating with Bianca rather than just say it - a Picture says a Thousand Words. Standard Promo Package lies apply too, 'Rhea Ripley has brutalized everyone she's come through' ...except Io Shirai and Raquel Gonzalez, similar went down for the second half of HOF because Great Khali is only there to pander to India - also what did the Mayor of Knox County ever do for WWE? Sonya also popped up again, strangely to talk about the Nigerian Drum Fight - which Booker T talked about the most, if I wanted to watch a bunch of old dudes talk over Sonya Deville I'd be drinking bleach. She also stuck for Sami vs KO, and barely talked in that too.

Also the promo they had about Kofimania was rough to watch, considering how it ended and how Kofi fared on Night 1, all this to promote a cheesy Cricket commercial about him not touching the ground...

The 24/7 title even got a continuation of ads, but it was more a 'to be concluded on Youtube' - honestly the belt has run its course, Truth has ran out of jokes and it's been reduced to an Old Spice ad crossover.

Main Card Starting once more with 'America the Beautiful', replacing the boob window with a bright yellow hat. It was fine, as a Brit 'America the Beautiful' does nothing for me.

They then did the same intro package as night 1 just with some different clips, skippable. And the shoddy camera switching is still there.

Hogan and Titus came out again this time in pirate outfits, there was noticeable boos in Hogan's bits with cheesy pirate puns. In the end the host concept was wasted on them. Reminder that names in Bold are those I predicted to win.

Randy Orton def. The Fiend [w/Alexa Bliss] (Pinfall via RKO) Orton opened night 2 in white tights and a fairy long-winded entrance, the melted Fiend then walked through a corridor of fire LEDs as CGI burned away into his original Fiend look...but Alexa's Firefly Funhouse music hit. Cutesy Bliss approached a giant Jack in a Box commentary act like just 'appeared'. The Fiend arose from the box in a combat vest, posed then dove right at Orton. Red lights cover the match throughout, Uranage and a neck snap started the match as the Fiend continued to do his spooky thing, it looks like he was gonna set up the punt but Randy rolls out of the ring. Randy hits the back body slam on the Announcer's Desk but it's no sold into the Mandible Claw, rope break and apron DDT from Orton only staggers the Fiend but rebounding his neck off the ropes grounds him momentarily. Orton tries to methodically beat down the Fiend but the monster hits back hard, a missed Senton and a senton follows some head kicks and another apron DDT, he sets up for an RKO but the Fiend gets the Mandible Claw (which commentary no sold even though he has won titles with that move), he sets up Sister Abigail but the ring posts pyro like Kane and before Fiend is Bliss with new makeup, dripping in black goo she extends her hand to the Fiend from the jack in the box, RKO and...3!? Post match Fiend and Alexa stare down, the electricity shorts out and both members disappear.

That's it? That's what we got? The Fiend was burned alive and survived but 1 RKO does it? The Fiend no sold so much in his career and one RKO felled him. The fuck man, this was as bad as the last time these two went at mania, you'd think like the brilliant Firefly Funhouse Match last year we'd get some course correction. But nope, Fiend's story is just being taken over by Alexa and this daft-ass black goo stuff, I don't get the motivation either. Fiend helped Alexa straddle Orton for a 3 count at Fastlane, talked all big for months about how the Fiend was going to obliterate Orton and it lasted about 8 minutes, the entrances lasted longer! Last year the Fiend was great with a cinematic match, but WWE have somehow managed to systematically destroy one of their most inventive characters time and time again, not a good start.

Backstage once again Bayley gets buried by the Hosts and this time Eric Bischoff as she tried to push Ding Dong Hello and got jealous of them talking up Bianca vs Sasha from last night.

WWE Women's Tag Championship - Shayna Baszler & Nia Jax (c) def. Natalya & Tamina (Ref Stoppage Submission by Baszler on Natalya via Kirufuda Clutch) Not a promising sign to follow the opener with this match, the challengers entered quickly with Natalya having a slightly altered attire. Jax and Baszler came in with red, black and gold. Natalya and Baszler start the match with some mat wrestling, Natalya almost gets the Sharpshooter so Shayna tags Nia in, Nia shoves Natalya and demands that Tamina - her old tag partner - be tagged in. Both trade headbutts, Tamina almost lifts Nia but fails, she tags in Natalya for the double back body drop and drops the blind tagged Shayna onto her partner. Natalya tries a Sharpshooter but is schoolboy'd for 2, Natalya retaliates with a German Suplex, whipping Shayna into a Clothesline, then launch pad into a superkick. As Shayna strikes back an advantage she stiffs Natalya in the mouth with a knee (legitimately, there was a picture of a welt before) Nia brawls with Tamina outside, hitting a powerslam outside of the ring. Another knee strike floors Natalya for 2 as Shayna works on the leg, kneebar and then an ankle stomp, Nia follows up with a Legdrop over the injured leg, another kneebar and then combos of swing/knee strike and irish whip/powerslam. Nia runs into the turnbuckle as Natalya floors Nia with multiple lariat attempts, Nia though hits back with a Chokeslam/Powerbomb thing they called a Spinebuster but the pin is broken by Tamina. Tamina gets the hot tag against Shayna, Baszler tries to weaken the leg, then the Kirufuda clutch but Tamina powers into a Samoan Drop. She goes up for a Superfly Splash but Shayna kicks her, Nia looks to do an Avalanche Samoan Drop but Natalya pulls Tamina away, she lariats Baszler but Nia hits the crossbody on both opponents for 2, favouring the knee after. Talking trash to Tamina she gets hit with a slam, Nia's repositioning couldn't be missed by the wide shot as Tamina goes for the Superfly Splash, but nobody home. Natalya's tagged and she goes for Baszler in the corner, Baszler counters and blind tags as Nia lifts Natalya up, but she wriggles out, floors Baszler again and sets the Sharpshooter on the now not legal Nia. Baszler cinches in the Kirufuda clutch and the match is over.

The fact that this was more eventful than the opener speaks volumes. It was a match, I don't think there's many people who feel like Nia and Shayna deserve this spot. Shayna was great in NXT but she's not doing herself any favours stiffing her opponents, Nia's rubbing off in a bad way. I had the challengers to win because I'm bored of them still being champions - only briefly giving it to Asuka and Charlotte so Charlotte can add that to her list - they should've either dropped to NXT or let the Riott Squad win, there was nothing in this match to invest in.

Rey Mysterio is used to promote 2K22. A surprise since we thought WWE and 2K's partnership was done, I am a huge fan of Rey so it was nice to see, much nicer if he was actually on Wrestlemania and getting a push...

Kevin Owens def. Sami Zayn [w/Logan Paul] (Pinfall via Stunner) JBL is the guest commentator for this...for some reason. Sami struts to the ring in dark green trying to pull off a Che Guevara look, a mini tantrum at the ramp before heading to the ring and grabbing the mic to introduce Logan Paul, who walks to the ring as Sami dances super embarrassingly in the ring. Owens then charges into the ring with vigor to get the crowd amped up. The bell rings, Sami tries the Helluva Kick and gets hit with a Pop-Up Powerbomb. KO punishes Sami in the start, dropping Sami gut-first on the ropes, corner clothesline and Cannonball as the camera awkwardly keeps cutting to Logan Paul. Sami gets a suplex on the apron to get back some momentum as he demands for Owens to be counted out, Owens rolls in at 8 but Sami continues to club at KO's head. Cole calls a Michinoku Driver a Blue Thunder Bomb but this time gets called out on it, pinfall is 2 and Sami gets into the ref's face. Attempted Superplex leads to a fistfight in the corner, Owens headbutts him off and Frog Splashes for 2, tries the Pop-Up powerbomb, Sami leapfrogs, Sami tries the Michinoku Driver but Owens reverses it into a meaty Pumphandle Neckbreaker for 2. He goes for the Package Piledriver but Sami hits the corner exploder, tries for the Helluva Kick but misses, KO tries the Stunner but it's reversed into a Blue Thunder Bomb for 2 as well. Two Exploders and a Brainbuster for 2 frustrates Sami further, brawling in the corner, he tries for a Superplex but gets hit with an Avalanche twisting Fisherman's Suplex. KO hits Sami with some corner clotheslines but as he runs to bounce off the other corner he runs into a Helluva Kick, Sami catching his collapsed friend as he sets it up again, 2 Superkicks from Owens and a Stunner finishes Sami off as Logan Paul applauds. Post-Match Logan checks on Sami and congratulates Owens, which Sami takes umbrage with. Logan shoves Sami as he storms off, Logan holds KO's arm in the air to boos, cheers start to rumble as Paul is hit with a stunner to a pop.

KO and Sami rarely disappoints, I don't think they really got to get out of second gear but it was still a good match. The Logan Paul stuff though was stupid and unnecessary, sure we got him to eat a Stunner but the ends don't justify the means. Also why was JBL there?

Backstage Riddle scooters across to Great Khali, stoner comedy doesn't land as Khali no sells it, RVD shows up to wish Riddle luck. Segment was meh.

US Championship - Sheamus def. Riddle (c) (Pinfall via Brogue Kick TITLE CHANGE!) Sheamus arrives blinding white but no special gear, Riddle scooters down in an Evil Knievel jacket, hologram doves with pirate hats and eyepatches adding to the cheese. Sheamus uses his power to start, but Riddle comes back with some chops, Sheamus hits back in each of his attempts; knee to the gut, then driving Riddle's sleeper in the corner, then a reversal swinging slam. Irish Curse gets 2, Riddle tries a Tarantula Armbreaker but Sheamus hits his Beats of Bodhran, he goes up high but Riddle reverses with a Spanish Fly Belly to Belly on the top turnbuckle. Riddle rallies with strikes, hits a Pele Kick and a Senton, to slight Goldberg Riddle hits the Jackhammer on the second time of trying but only gets 2. He tries the Bro Derek but Sheamus rolls back, Riddle kicks Sheamus away but in his slingshot lands into a Brogue Kick, 1, 2, No. Alabama Slam, 1, 2, No. He tries a White Noise on the Apron but gets pushed into the Ring Post and then German's on the Apron. An Apron PK and Moonsault keeps Sheamus down enough for Riddle to hit the Twisting Moonsault, he locks in the Reverse armbar but it's reversed into a deadlift powerbomb, Riddle then latches the sleeper for the rope break. Sheamus tries again for a Top Rope White Noise, Riddle tries to Sunset Bomb but fails, Riddle tries the Spanish Fly Belly to belly again but Sheamus grabs him. A stumble means that the two hop off the Turnbuckle for a normal White Noise, Sheamus goes up with a Knee Drop but it only hits 2. Sheamus calls for the Brogue, gets rolled up but catches the Knee strike, Riddle dodges the lariat, goes for a Springboard Moonsault but lands into the Brogue, 1, 2, 3. Post match Riddle is bleeding from the mouth, he angrily stares at the gleeful Sheamus who leaves with the title.

A good title match and much deserved from Sheamus, who has delivered in many matches on the later stages of of the Wrestlemania year, shame he was on the wrong brand to complete the set, he only needs the IC title to win everything. Riddle doesn't do it for me in this gimmick (which as I gather is mostly himself stoned) but credit where it's due, he put a good performance and that was a strong finish.

An odd package followed where Triple H handed Bad Bunny a golden briefcase with a skull microphone, which he opened atop his truck. The briefcase says Tour 2022 to promote his future tour.

Nigerian Drum Fight for the IC Title - Apollo Crews def. Big E (c) (Pinfall via Dabba Kato Chokeslam TITLE CHANGE!) The promo really hurt my ears to hear Apollo's accent devolve into this foreign heel gimmick. Wale though performs to enter Big E, more questionable camera cuts to E and the Fireworks. E's jacket represented Feeding Tampa Bay as a nice nod to the food bank, Apollo came out in Nigerian colors with his scarf and Spear. Commentary's line saying 'this isn't about percussion' falls kinda flat when there's drums around the ring.

Both men roll out to grab Kendo sticks, trading blows which E gets the power advantage over. E grabs the giant cymbal but Apollo knees it away, hits E with some more Kendo Shots back into the ring. You can hear the WAFT of Apollo's missed shot as E knocks him away and then does the out-of-ring spear. E sets up the lower steps near the apron but gets hit with a DVD on the apron, pinfall gets 2. Crews grabs the top half of the steps, lays E on the one he sets up and throws the other steps at it, but E rolls away just in time. On the apron Apollo hits a big boot, but on the second attempt falls into an Uranage onto the flat steps (which Cole called an Uranage Suplex for some reason...), after some trash talking E gets a table set up in the ring near a corner. Apollo kicks back and flurries E with a Kendo Stick, he rolls E onto the table to go for the frog splash, but E rolls away sending Apollo crashing through the table. E hits the Big Ending, but Dabba Kato/Babatunde in a military jacket breaks the pin, a sorta Samoan Spike and a Chokeslam leads to him dragging Apollo onto E for the win. Apollo gets a lot of unnecessary pyro and shakes his new comrade's hand.

Bit short that, the gimmick didn't really come into play. I mean, I'm glad Apollo gets a chance to hold another title and E can look towards the top of the card but I don't think this was really the way to do it. It didn't need to be a 'Nigerian Drum Fight', could've just been a No DQ, Dabba Kato gets his third repackaging since Greatest Royal Rumble probably as Apollo's 'General' which is kinda no different to what AJ and Omos are doing just with more foreign heel-isms. But yeah, bit disappointing on the means of it but the outcome was right, just...kinda stop faking a thick accent it's getting you nowhere acting like you're on the set of Black Panther.

Again we look back at Night 1, this time with minor clips of Ford congratulating his wife, but should've been a segment on its own rather than a flash-through recap. Stone Cold Mania 38 Texas promo and the HOF promo they did on this Pre-Show happens again which is unnecessary but the hologram of a ghost ship was cool, the HOFers come out and Kane gets the entrance, he does his pyro and that's it - that's how you do it, Hogan.

Raw Women's Championship - Rhea Ripley def. Asuka (c) (Pinfall via Riptide TITLE CHANGE!) THIS IS MY BRUTALITY! performed live as Rhea wastes no time coming out, leather biker outfit this time, no Vegeta costume. Silly camera cuts to Rhea and the Singer AGAIN though, stop it WWE it's distracting. Asuka dances down the ring in a bit of a Jason mask, but the camera keeps cutting to Rhea which is off-putting. Also commentary on 'she has never seen Rhea Ripley up close and personal', they were in a tag match together a week and a half ago and in Survivor Series 2019 she faced her in Team NXT as part of Team RAW, seriously WWE...

Asuka starts hot with her athleticism, dropkicks, rebounds and rollups met with more shoddy camera cuts, Rhea leaves the ring to take a moment as Asuka taunts her, she baits Asuka out of the ring as she rolls in but her leg is caught, pop-up knee strike returns Rhea to the ring but she misses the hip attack, gifting Rhea the slamming facebuster for 2. Rhea wears the champion down and taunts her with leg scissors and hits a couple of clotheslines, Asuka reverses the third into an ankle lock but Rhea rolls into a Release German Suplex. Rhea grinds away at Asuka's back and sets up for a super German but Asuka elbows her away and lands the Missile Dropkick, Release German, Hip Attack, a strike combo, another Hip Attack but it only gets 2. Asuka goes up top but is dropkicked to the outside, Asuka tries a PK on the apron but is caught into an Electric Chair position and dropped chin-first onto the apron. Trying to roll Asuka back into the ring, the champion returns to hit a DDT from the apron to the outside, after breaking the count Asuka only gets 2, stomps at Rhea but her running knee gets caught, Rhea stomps at Asuka and sets up the Texas Cloverleaf, Asuka rolls out and into the Armbar but Rhea swings Asuka into the bottom turnbuckle. Deadlift suplex back into the ring for 2, Asuka reverses a waistlock into two armbar variations and then an Asuka Lock, Rhea rolls back for 2 and the hold to break but gets gutted with kicks to the chest, Rhea demands more so Asuka runs to the ropes, Rhea catches her, Riptide, 3!

That finish came out of nowhere, which was not a good thing. We were having quite an enjoyable match which ended around the 15 minute mark, it wasn't short but the narrative wasn't quite there yet. I'm happy for Rhea, who I predicted to win but like Sasha/Bianca it came with the heavy heart. Like Sasha, Asuka has often been slighted especially at Wrestlemania, she deserves her moment too, especially Asuka who carried the Women for most of the Empty Arena era.

WWE recapped the opener which was a bad idea, Hogan and Titus thanked all the viewers at home and the fans but were interrupted by Bayley who demanded and got her pyro, then out came the Bella Twins. Bayley got a good zing by calling them Elmo but then Nikki slapped the mic away from her when she says 'John Cena isn't here tonight', Bellas said 'Ding Dong, Goodbye' and beat down Bayley. This was shite really, Bayley had been buried across 2 nights and her 'comeuppance' is the Bella Twins, not the woman beginning with B I was hoping for, and the John Cena comment was heavily forced, fans know they broke up ages ago Nikki has a kid with her husband who is not John Cena, fans aren't stupid WWE.

WWE then promoted 'Wrestlemania Backlash' for May 16th, a whole month away. They say it'll be a whole new season for WWE so I'm wondering if it's just a storyline reset...y'know how Wrestlemania is supposed to be, slapping Wrestlemania on other show names doesn't make it Wrestlemania-tier guys.

Universal Championship - Roman Reigns (c) [w/Paul Heyman & Jey Uso] def. Daniel Bryan and Edge (Pinfall on Edge and Bryan via Con-Chair-To) To the Main Event, one of the few storylines in Mania's card that was consistently good in build. Bryan comes out first, camera angles flashing during the YES! chants. Huge pops and smoke rage for Metalingus and Edge enters in white and Red (bookending with Orton), fireworks camera shots though. For once, Roman Reigns enters the Main Event without a chorus of deafening boos, but he takes his time to come out, in his red wreath flanked by Jey Uso and Heyman, cameras cutting to each opponent's faces a bit too much, especially to Bryan. Bad call not to bring in Justin Roberts to announce Edge either. Roman makes sure to hoist the belt while facing both his opponents before the bell.

Reigns starts by suckering Bryan and then going after Edge. He throws Bryan out of the ring where Jey superkicks him and sends him into the steps thanks to Triple Threat rules. Edge eats a superkick from Uso too when he's thrown out as Roman cleans up the announcer's table, as Edge is grabbed by Uso, Reigns is hit by Bryan's suicide dive but eats an Uso superkick, this gives Edge time to throw Uso into the steps, pinballing Reigns against the barricade and apron until bouncing off of the ring post. Edge then sets his sights on Uso, hitting a DDT on the steps to take him out of the equation, medical team swarm Uso as Heyman halfheartedly looks concerned. Edge chases Heyman away and enters the ring with Bryan - a moment which would've been sold better if the camera didn't cut to a close up of Roman alive and well on the outside. Bryan gets the Yes Kicks in the corner but his Super Rana is reversed into a sunset flip, Edge-o-matic but it's only 2. Roman comes back on the apron both men attempting to suplex the other, Bryan slides under Roman and cuts Roman's legs from under him - jawbreaking Edge on the ropes - he hits the Missile Dropkick on Edge, kips up and hits the uppercut, after dodging the lariat he tries to suicide dive Roman but he's caught by the champion and hit with a belly to belly suplex. Edge brings Roman to the ring but gets hit with a clothesline, Roman sets up the Superman Punch but Edge turns it into an Edgecution. He sets up the Spear but Roman knocks him down, Roman sets the Spear but it is reversed in a Sunset Flip, both men collide with spears to take each other out. During a wide shot Bryan goes up top, he lands a diving headbutt on Edge, then on Roman, he pins Roman but only gets 2. Yes Kicks to both men, Roman dodges one and pushes him towards Edge, but Bryan ducks the Lariat and hits the Buisaku Knee, Roman tries the Superman Punch but is kicked in the gut, Buzzsaw Kick! 1, 2, No! Bryan stomps on Roman's head and sets up the Yes Lock, but Edge breaks the hold, so Bryan puts Edge in the Yes Lock and Roman breaks the hold, clubbing at Bryan and powerbombing him onto Edge. After dumping Bryan, Roman pauses before setting up half the steps near the Announcer's Table, he's incited by the 'Roman Sucks' chant and powerbombs Bryan through the Announcer's table, but is then blindsided with a Spear! Edge goes to bring in a chair but Roman keeps his foot on it, he pulls the chair away and tries the Guillotine but Edge locks in the Crossface, as Roman powers out Edge grabs a part of the chair leg that fell off and uses that in his Crossface - a humorous face from Reigns as I pause the vid as well XD - he's about to tap but Bryan grabs the hand, and locks in the Yes Lock! Annoyed that his win is stolen, Edge demands he break the hold, but Bryan refuses, leading to a headbutt fight and Bryan pounding at Edge. Bryan then stomps at Edge's head and looks for the Buisaku Knee, but gets hit by a Spear! Roman tries a Spear but Edge hits one of his own! 1, 2, Bryan pulls the ref out of the ring. Furious, Edge introduces more chairs, hitting Bryan and Edge one after the other. He sets up Con-Chair-To to both men, hits it on Bryan but Jey Uso returns to attack, eats a Spear and a load of Chair Shots, Reigns hits the spear on Edge, hits the Con-Chair-To, drags Edge over Bryan and pins both for the win.

The show closes with pyro and Fireworks as Roman talks trash on his opponents and holds the title aloft, ending Wrestlemania 37.

It was a very good back and forth match, Roman of course relying heavily on Jey's interferences and the animosity between Edge and Bryan to come out on top. Keeping the Spear and the Con-Chair-To for last was the right move and the latter was definitely impactful enough to ensure that Bryan could sleep for a few minutes, especially with his and Edge's history of neck injuries. I bet on Roman because of his past record, how after finally turning heel he gets the right heat and because in Triple Threats involving a Heel Champion and 2 Faces, you either bet on the third man or the heel champion, since the story was that Roman could lose without being pinned I chose the latter, the heel often finds the escape. All three men had great chemistry together and I hope for more, SD's world title scene having an absolute slew of competitors waiting to challenge the head of the table.

Conclusion Overall another good night of wrestling...just not better. There were some super baffling and poor moments in the first half of the show and 3 title changes in a row (as well as 2 live performances in a row) was probably not the best card layout Night 2 could've done. Overall it was still a good show though and as a whole Wrestlemania 37 was a success, if not without its glaring flaws. But it goes to show that a 2-Day Wrestlemania continues to flourish as a new season of WWE kicks off.