#i have so much about her and her family in my brain i just need to figure out how to properly put it out there �
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This is the banter about his going rates that I referenced in another post, and I see the comments and tags. I cannot tell you how much this isnât him being a nepo baby or the âhow much could it costâ meme.
Shoving the rest under the cut because I get the joke here but I need to yell about this man.
tldr: This isnât dialogue about Lucanis being out of touch, and not knowing what money is worth. He knows, heâs a union man. This dialogue is about Lucanis learning about Hardingâs values and priorities. He was worried he was low balling Harding. The tone in this dialogue throws him because what Harding says could easily be taken as âsix thousand is only this much and I deserve more compensation.â Hence why he offered to negotiate with her and also why he clarified that the comparison was good.
Now for me yelling about this man:
Lucanis is a union man. Lucanis thinks everyone should be paid fairly, equally, and the market rate. He tells Neve to unionize with the other detectives to make sure she is being compensated fairly (to make sure they all are tbh) and that no one is underpricing themselves. If they are, theyâre a scab.
He tells Bellara the Veil Jumpers are providing a service and risking their lives - they should be fairly and properly compensated. They should not only unionize but charge for their services.
Now there is something to say about capitalism and such, but Lucanis is vouching for this stuff because at the end of the day money is important in Thedas. With money you can buy the supplies you need. With money you can make more impactful change, bribe people with lesser morals, provide for people who need it. Cover funerary costs, compensate the families of those who died who maybe the person working for/with you was the only money earner. With money, you can choose to help on jobs that donât pay at all because you have the comfort of knowing you have other work to cover things.
Lucanis isnât asking Harding if thatâs good because he doesnât understand the value of what heâs offering. Heâs asking Harding if itâs good to understand what her value of it is. Money is after all just a social contract of a universally agreed to system to value the more abstract concepts of value (and even then it fails at times). For all he knows she could have been presenting those examples to show he is lowballing her.
This man is offering to negotiate with her, but her words and tone throw him so heâs not sure if she is happy with the offer or offended.
Lucanis isnât a nepo baby who thinks 10 dollars for a banana isnât a lot. Illiaro is the nepo baby. Lucanis was born into wealth but he knows the value of it and works hard to not only earn it but also maintain it. This man has standards, he wants the best because he can afford it so he will not accept anything less than his expensive, luxury Orlesian peaches.
Lucanis doesnât value goats or a barn the same way Harding does. For her there is personal attachment and sentimentality (see where money fails to properly put a value on something). He knows their monetary worth of those things but he would not be pleased or excited to be paid in a herd of goats (unless perhaps if they were Ayesleigh gulabi goat). But Harding does value those things. Those things have more meaning to her than their value in gold, thatâs home. Thatâs stability. Thatâs purpose and security. Giving books to the whole village? Thatâs enriching lives, that teaching people to read. That is uplifting people.
If you asked Lucanis to list off what 6k gold could get him? Youâd see his values are different, it would be coffee, luxury food ingredients, wyvern memorabilia, daggers.
Anyways, this isnât my blorbo but heâs the blorbo of friends I have and man is up there with Cullen, Davrin, and others. Just rotating in my brain space because people I care about like him.
Also this makes me wonder how much the Inquisition was paying Harding and if Lucanis is going to provide her with one of his lawyers like he did for Neve and Bellara.
I've seen Lucanis' family villa so I knew he was rich, but this banter made me realize that he's a rich boy who has no idea what money is worth lmao.
#datv spoilers#da4 spoilers#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age 4#datv#da4#lucanis dellamorte#lucanis#harding#lace harding#listen I just woke up and I get the jokes but I like the nuance in my DAtV companions#itâs there. I waited 10 years for it. theyâre flawed. I want us to look at them with some media literacy and nuance#long post
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"you don't want me here? then why does your body say other wise?" jinx x fem piltover!reader - nsfw - minors dni
(requested by anon)
for as long as you can remember, your family did everything in their power to keep you from venturing into the undercity. topside was where you belonged, no doubts about it. you were polite, kindhearted and far too soft for that kind of lifestyleâ or so you thought.
it wasnt until you met her, that your views changed. she showed you so much, taught things you never had the chance to know, all while being so incredibly...human?
did jinx use your piltover status against you? absolutely. when you first met, you could tell she hated you, just by seeing how you presented yourself. she made it her own personal mission to get as far under your skin as she possibly could.
"you really shouldn't be here jinx, my parents are sleeping downstairs..." you mutter as she pressed kisses along your neck, making sure she left bruises as she went. she ignored your plea, hands roaming under your shirt, making you shiver.
"then i guess you'll have to be quiet then, yeah?" she smiled deviously, hands tracing the underside of your breasts.
"jinx...im serious" you whined, voice low and slightly trembling. your parents would have both of your heads on a spike if they knew what was happening right now.
she slides herself off your hips and moves to dip her fingers into your pants, making you suck in a harsh breath of air. she smirks as her fingers trace over your underwear, relishing in the way you react to her touch.
"youre cute yknow? so sensitive..." she whispers, circling her finger around your clit through the fabric. you moan lowly, hips shifting as a silent plea for more, despite your better judgment. she seems to get the hint, and moves to slide your pants and underwear downâ her eyes fixated on your now soaking cunt. feeling rather exposed, you attempt to close your legs, but shes inbetween them, and her hands grip the soft flesh as soon as she feels you hesitate.
"s'funny baby...you don't want me here? then why does your body say otherwise?"
she smirks as she runs her finger through your folds, bottom lip slipping between her teeth as she feels you soak her fingers. "practically dripping f'me" she purrs.
you whine as her fingers find your clit again, rubbing precisely where she knew would make you cry out.
"jinx.." you sigh, looking at her face to see a sinister smirk. she locks her eyes onto yours as she lowers her hand, easily slipping two fingers into you. you moan out, and before you can curse yourself her hand slaps over your mouth.
"shhh, youll wake em up, doll." she giggles, almost as if she didnt have her fingers deep inside of you. you whine against her hand as she thrusts her fingers in and out, curling them into that spot that makes your brain fuzzy. she can feel you getting close, with the way your practically dripping into her palm, and she decided she needed to make you cum, right here, right now.
her thrusts continue, the slick sound making your cheeks heat up as she works you closer to the edge. her chest is heaving softly, the sight of your like this always worked her up, not that she'd ever admit it.
"you close?" she whispers again, hand still over your mouth. you nod desperately, your sounds muffled by her palm. she picks up her pace, practically slamming her fingers into as you writhe beneath her. she groans quietly as she feels you tighten around her fingers like a vice grip, body stilling as you cum, hard.
she lets you ride it out, not stopping until your whine against her palm once more and your thighs are shaking. she removes her hand from your mouth and slams her lips onto yours, biting at your lower lip. your hands find her hips, and without warning, you flip her over so you are hovering over her form. her eyes widen at the sudden movement, a smirk growing on her lips.
"i think its only fair i get you back for that, yeah?" you lean down, face close to hers and you swear you feel her breath hitch in her lungs.
it was only fair, after all, she wanted you to cum? now its her turn.
"keep quiet, or i'll stop" you smirk as your fingers find the waist of her pants.
thank u for the req anon! more to come & feel free to leave me a prompt ;)
#wrote rhis with my pussy#also sorry its short </3 im tired and its 3am lol#arcane#arcane x reader#arcane smut#jinx arcane#jinx x reader#jinx smut#nsfw.mp3 đŤ§
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Duty
Pairing: Roboute Guilliman x FemReader
Warnings: Nothing much this time, just angst
Description: As further opposition to the alliance between their peoples is revealed, Guilliman's betrothed finally opens up about her past.
Whew! With all the holiday craziness, I didn't think I'd get this posted today. Anyway, I hope you guys don't mind some lore. This is a sequel to Worthy, and a continuation of my Guilliman/Reader story. You can find the other stories in this series on my Masterlist.
In the all but empty Communications Center, Guilliman stared at the holographic image of Captain Takahashi. His Admechs and the Captainâs technicians had finally managed to cobble together an interphase between the two shipsâ communications systems. Still, the Captainâs image flickered and lagged as she spoke.
â...have rooted out two more conspirators, Lord Guilliman. A pair of sanitation specialists. They attempted to take control of my shipâs steering mechanism.â
Guilliman clenched his gauntleted fist. âThat makes seven attempts to date.â
âAll of which we have discovered and stopped.â
âTo your credit, Captain.â
The woman nodded curtly. âAll the same, I agree it remains too dangerous to allow the Lady Heir to return on a permanent basis. Though, she will still need to send the first message to our homeworld once we are in range.â
âIn two standard days.â
âYes.â
Guilliman shook his head in wonder. Even in the time of the Great Crusade, such long range communication, without the aid of Astropaths, was more fantasy than reality. He added it to his mental list of technologies to acquire once the treaty was formalized.
âYou will be sending the conspirators over for interrogation.â
The Captainâs eyes turned icy. âI will. Though I expect it will be more of the same.â
Guilliman scowled. During each interrogation, an implant of some kind had activated a small electromagnetic pulse within the prisonersâ brains, eradicating all higher functions. Only the first, the former Lord OâRourke, had managed to give them any information before his unexpected lobotomy.
âCaptain, you promised to clarify a few details from the first interrogation when last we spoke.â
For the first time, Captain Takahashi looked uneasy. Her eyes flickered behind Guilliman.
He understood. âSicarius, await me outside. And see that none enter.â
He heard Catoâs teeth grinding as he obeyed.
âForgive my hesitance, Lord Guilliman.â The Captain frowned. âBut what I am about to reveal would no doubt be considered treasonous by my superiors.â
âI am grateful for your trust, Captain.â
Her frown softened. âI have come to believe we both have the Lady Heirâs best interests at heart.â She clasped her hands behind her back. âYou told me how OâRourke mentioned his orders came from a âprinceâ, someone he believed to be the true heir to our world.â
Guilliman nodded. He had long suspected your home to be less peaceful than you implied. Your obvious discomfort whenever the topic arose, the way you dodged the subject with the skill of an Aeldari warrior, and, of course, the continued sabotage attempts by your entourage did little to persuade him otherwise.
His logical mind knew the value of this alliance and the technology it would bring to the Imperium. But, in his deepest soul, none of that mattered. Someone was trying to take you from him. You.Â
Only centuries of practice hid his churning rage.
The Captain continued. âAs you know, our world is led by the Matriarch. She had three children, all who have since died. My Lady is the only child of her eldest and, under our laws, the Heir. But she has two cousins, the two princes.â
Guillimanâs lips twisted sardonically. Heâd dealt with enough Imperial nobility to be more than aware of the twists and turns of dynastic politics. Part of him felt saddened at the thought that you came from a family afflicted with such foolishness.
And yet, he bit back a bitter laugh, was my own âfamilyâ so different?
âHer Grace has made no secret of her preference for my Ladyâs eldest cousin. He is a charismatic young man, currently riding high on the glory of military success.â The Captain paused, looked uncertain, then continued. âIn my opinion, Lord Guilliman, the Matriarch purposely isolated my Lady so she could not compete with her cousinâs popularity.âÂ
A shrewd move. Guilliman had to admit.Â
No one who had ever met you and experienced your thoughtfulness and compassion could doubt your potential for popularity with the masses. How quickly youâd won the adoration of his own serfs proved that. Not to mention the progress youâd made among the Ultramarines.
âYou think he is the âprinceâ who gave OâRourke his orders.â
The Captain frowned. âPossibly. The other option is the younger cousin. Heâs rumored to be quite intelligent, but the Matriarch destined him for holy orders. Heâs been sequestered in one of our scholastic monasteries since he came of age.â
Guilliman narrowed his eyes. âIf dealing with my own Ecclesiarchy has taught me anything, it is that the lust for power can infect even the holiest-seeming priest.â
âIndeed.â
Guilliman stared through the Captainâs image, mind working. Too many variables. Not enough data.
âWhat do you believe, Captain?â
The Captain looked him in the eye. âWhoever gave the orders is irrelevant. I believe this mission was supposed to fail. All of us, myself, my crew, and the Lady Heir were supposed to die at Imperial hands.â
Yet again, Guilliman found himself impressed by this tiny baseline womanâs strength of will. âThus removing the only obstacle to a princeâs rise to power, and ensuring your worldâs continued isolation.â
âYes.â The Captainâs lips lifted into a slight smile. âBut no one back home foresaw this particular turn of events.â
Guilliman huffed a laugh. âNor did anyone here.â His mirth was short-lived. âOnce my betrothed sends her message, however, the game changes.â
âAnd all Void will break loose. She needs to be made aware.â
Therein lay the crux of the problem. How much did he tell you? How much did you already suspect?
âI agree.â
The Captain must have seen something in his face. âYou said once that sheâs stronger than she looks, Lord Guilliman. I assure you, itâs true.â
Strong in some ways, yes. But so, so fragile in others.
***
âFascinating, Brother Tarchus. Remind me which section of the Codex that is again?â You smiled up at the Ultramarine, stylus and dataslate in hand.
âCertainly, my Lady. Chapter 647, Section F, Subsection B-14, Paragraph 54âŚ.âÂ
You scribbled frantically. âAh, yes. Thank you. I have it now.â I think. âAnd why would you say this is your favorite passage?â
The giant warrior actually looked excited. âThe minutiae of supply lines, especially to besieged worlds, is an excellent example of the importance of efficiency and practicality in uncertain circumstances.â
There. Something you could grasp. âThe creation of order in the midst of anarchy?â
âPrecisely.â You swore the Ultramarine almost smiled.
âIn times of uncertainty, the order brought by the Ultramarines must be a great comfort to Imperial citizens.â
Tarchus cocked his head to one side. âI suppose that is one of the outcomes.â
âA beneficial one, surely.â You continued. âA fearful population is vulnerable to manipulation, whereas a population confident in its protectors is steadfast and resilient.â
âI had not considered.â
âSomething to think about, yes?â
The Ultramarine looked thoughtful. âPerhaps.â
âWell, I should not keep Lord Guilliman waiting. Thank you for taking the time to explain more of the Codex Astartes to me, Brother Tarchus. It was kind of you.â
He nodded. âI found the conversation stimulating, my Lady.â
âI should like to continue in the future, if we may.â
âIâŚam amenable to that suggestion.â
You gave him a final nod, smiled again, and stepped past him into Guillimanâs chambers. Once through, you couldnât hold back a laugh of triumph.Â
Your betrothed looked up at you from his place behind his desk. âAnd what has you so giddy this evening, my love?â
He stretched out a hand, and you hurried to his side. âI managed to engage Brother Tarchus in conversation just now!â
âIndeed? It was my understanding he was being particularly stubborn.â
âAh, but I believe Iâve found the key to an Ultramarineâs hearts.â You smiled slyly up at him.
He chuckled. âEnlighten me.â
âI simply get them talking about the Codex Astartes. It seems to be their favorite topic.â
âBelieve me, I am aware.â He lifted his eyes to the ceiling and gave a dramatic shake of his head. âYou have swept all before you, my Lady. Are none of my sons safe from your wiles?â
You rolled your eyes. âYou know at least one is.â
âCato can be⌠difficult.â
To put it mildly. You pursed your lips.
Guilliman ran a finger along your jawline. âDo not fret. You cannot help but be beloved by all in time.â
You felt heat rush to your face. âWhatâŚwhat happened to your âno touchingâ rule?â
A flash of mischief in his blue eyes was the only warning you received before you found yourself hoisted up and deposited in his lap. You gasped and caught yourself with outstretched hands against his massive chest.
âRoboute!â
An arm of steel wrapped about your shoulders, pinning you against him. âI thought depriving myself entirely of your touch would cool my ardor. Instead, it seemed to have the opposite effect.â
His head lowered, lips just shy of your own, as his voice dropped to the rumbling growl you loved. âInstead, I have decided to allow myself a fewâŚsmallâŚindulgencesâŚ.â
You melted into his arms when he kissed you, slowly and deeply.
An eternity, and yet not nearly long enough, later, he pulled away and smiled down at you. You rested your head against his chest and closed your eyes.Â
This. If I could just have this, forever, I would be satisfied.
âMy love, we need to talk.â
âMmm?âÂ
The double beat of his hearts soothed you. You realized you could easily fall asleep like this, cradled in his arms, safe.
âIt is time you told me more of your family.â
Your eyes snapped wide. âWhat?â
No. No no no. Iâm not ready!
His arm tightened slightly around you, as if he feared youâd bolt. You considered doing exactly that.
âCaptain Takahashi contacted me this morning.â Guillimanâs voice was kind, but firm. âThere was another sabotage attempt.â
You jerked upright. âWas anyone hurt?â
âNo. The Captainâs men-at-arms are skilled. But the fact remains,â he brought his other hand to your chin, holding it in place, âthey were following orders from a prince of your house.â
Two faces appeared unbidden in your mind. One, fierce and angular, baring its teeth in a wide grin. The other, rounded and pale, eyes sullen.Â
âVictor and ConradâŚ.â You didnât realize youâd spoken the names aloud until Guilliman reacted.
âYour cousins.â
You couldnât turn your head away, but you dropped your eyes from his piercing gaze. âYes. My cousins.â
You didnât want to think about them. You didnât want to think aboutâŚher. In desperation, you tried a new tactic. Slowly, you moved your hands up Guillimanâs chest, caressing the hard muscle beneath his tunic.Â
âCanât we talk about this later?â You looked up at him through your eyelashes, wetting your lips with your tongue.
His breath stuttered, his eyes going dark and hungry.
You continued exploring his chest with your fingers, feeling rather proud of yourself⌠until he released your chin and captured both wrists in an iron grip.
âA good attempt.â One side of his mouth tilted upward. âBut I will not be distracted.â
Struggling only emphasized your utter helplessness. âRoboute, please.â
âWhat are you so afraid of, my love?â
Something snapped inside. You snarled at the man you loved.
âIâm afraid of her! My grandmother, the Matriarch, the heartless bitch.â A hysterical laugh burst through your lips. âYou think one of my cousins is behind all this? Whoever the saboteurs assumed their orders came from, I guarantee she is the one pulling the strings. She wants me dead.â
You stopped, panting. Guilliman stared down at you. It frightened you how little emotion you saw behind his regal mask.
âWhy?â
Why indeed? Why stop now? Letâs air all the familyâs dirty laundry.
âShe hated my mother first. My mother, her eldest, her legacy. My mother, who threw everything away to sail the stars. My mother, who returned years later, pregnant with an unknown manâs child.âÂ
You couldnât have stopped even if you wanted to. The words poured forth like blood from a wound.
âGrandmother banished my mother to an isolated Abbey in the highlands. I was born there, among the Holy Sisters.â You smiled at the memory of happier days. âMother became their huntress, bringing in game for the larders. During her absences, I learned alongside the novitiates. History, theology, but also botany and bioengineering. I spent hours in their gardens and greenhouses. The Sisters are famed for engineering new forms of plantlife, medicines and textiles as well as food.â
You didnât see Guilliman anymore. You saw the kindly, wizened Mother Superior, cradling a new strain of vitamin-infused apple in her weathered hands. You saw rows of pungent medicinal herbs swaying in the greenhouses. You saw Mother, laughing, hands outstretched to welcome you into her arms.
âWhen I was twelve, Mother died on a hunt. I grieved. But I wasnât alone. The Sisters were my family.â You felt tears coming as you dropped your voice to a whisper. âThen, one nightâŚ.â
Screams. You jerked awake in your room amongst the other novitiates, all of you bleary-eyed and confused. Light poured through the windows. You heard the hard tramp of boots. The door burst open and Sister Helena fell into the room, shoved from behind.Â
âWhich one is she?â A harsh voice boomed.Â
The man it belonged to stood in the doorway, covered head to toe in tactical armor, brandishing a pistol.
He shouted your name. Sister Helena crouched on the floor, but said nothing. The man snarled and aimed his weapon at her.
âWait!â You screamed, scrambling out of bed. âItâs me! Iâm the one youâre looking for!â
You had no idea why they wanted you. But you werenât going to let them hurt your family.
The rest of the night was a blur of grasping hands, roaring engines, and bitter cold. They hadnât let you change out of your nightdress. They hadnât let you say goodbye.
âThe soldiers took me to the Matriarch, my grandmother, who said a plague that had devastated our cities the year prior had killed my two uncles. I was now the heir. Lessons followed. Endless lessons as she tried to force me into the model princess. At first, I resisted. But the consequencesâŚ.â You shuddered. âI learned to keep quiet. I learned to obey. I learned to fear.â
You felt Guillimanâs hand on your lower back, rubbing circles. Slowly, your surroundings came back into focus.
âBreathe, my love.â His deep voice dispelled the haze of terror. âJust breathe.â
You buried your face in his chest, but words kept coming. âShe didnât want me. Not really. In time, I realized she was using me as a threat to my eldest cousin, Victor. By naming me heir, but promising the position to him if he behaved, she kept him on a tight leash. I was safe for a time. But if I hadnât proposed this diplomatic mission, my death would have come at her hands sooner or later.â
âYou must have known this envoy might have gotten you killed, with or without your familyâs interference.âÂ
âI knew.â You wondered if you sounded as desperate as you felt. âBut it was a chance. A way out! I couldnât stay in that palace anymore, with her and her spies always watching.âÂ
Another hysterical laugh. âYou know Grandmother once refused me meals for an entire week in a fit of rage? I would have starved to death if not for the kindness of the servants. I-I justâŚI had toâŚoh, Light help me.â
You wept, clinging to Guilliman, the only solid point in the maelstrom tearing through you. âDonât let me go, Roboute. Please. Donât let me go.â
His huge arms tightened further around you. âNever.â
***
Guilliman held you as you sobbed, held you close, and seethed.Â
I could raze her planet. I could smother it in steel, snuffing out the lives of everyone who ever hurt her.Â
He wouldnât, though. The cost in innocents would be too high. Youâd never forgive him. But stillâŚ.
âDamn the alliance.â He growled. âDamn the treaty. Let your Matriarch think you dead. Let her think the barbarians of the Imperium slaughtered your entire entourage.â
Your sobs quieted and you looked up at him with wide eyes.
He cupped your face in his palm. âMarry me, return with me to Ultramar, and let me care for you. You need never set foot upon your homeworld again.â
âIt would be so easy,â you murmured, closing your eyes, âto just say yes. To stay safely in your shadow and forget everything else.â
âThen say yes.â
A long moment passed in silence. He heard the muted voices outside his office, the omnipresent hum of the great ship, and your beating heart. Then, you opened your reddened eyes.
âI canât, Roboute.â You seemed calmer now. âI may have originated this plan as an escape from my home, but all the other reasons I gave, I believe in them too. My people need the rest of humanity, and the rest of humanity needs us.â
A mixture of disappointment and sheer awe filled him. How, in the vastness and cruelty of the universe, had he found a woman so perfectly matched to himself?
âI used to dream of running away.â He muttered, only half aware he spoke aloud. âI dreamed of cutting free of the Imperium, of becoming a farmer. An honest, simple life.â
âIt sounds lovely.â You smiled sadly. âBut we canât cast duty aside so easily, you and I. We care too much. All we can hope for,â you placed your hand against his cheek, mirroring him, âis to find someone to share that duty with us. Someone to stand beside us. Someone to love.â
âI love you.â Throne, my hearts feel about to burst with it.
âAnd I you.â
He kissed you again. Soft and gentle and so, so sweet. When he pulled himself away, you tucked yourself back against his chest.
âForgive me for hiding all this from you, Roboute. I was afraid. Iâve been afraid for so long.â
âThere is nothing to forgive.â
âWhen we reach my homeworld, my family will stand against us.â
Ferocity welled within him. Lifting you in his arms, he carried you to the great viewport and looked out upon the passing stars. Logically, he knew the star your world circled was not among them.Â
Still, he issued a challenge.âI am Roboute Guilliman, Lord of Ultramar, Lord Regent of the Imperium, Primarch.â He held you close. âLet them try.â
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As always, if you'd like to be added to the Taglist, feel free to ask!
#warhammer 40k#roboute gulliman#primarch#primarch x reader#roboute guilliman x reader#time for some angst with a side of lore#also a little bit of cuddling#ultramarines
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one: florida!!!!
Call It What You Want | Frankie Morales x OFC
Summary: Daisy never expected to move to Florida but recovering from burnout in the sunshine state seems a good enough plan. Years after the death of her estranged half-brother, Tom, she finds herself agreeing to move in with Frankie Morales, Tomâs former army colleague and friend. Falling for her roommate, who is definitely keeping secrets about your brotherâs death, may not be the best way to ensure a fresh start, or is it actually what they both needed all along? Chapter Warnings: 18+ blog MDNI, mentions of previous canon death and grief, references to corporate burnout Word Count: 3.7k Notes: Please note I am not from Florida, or even the US, so thereâs a degree of creative license here, What I know about firefighting probably comes from 9-1-1, other firefighter shows, or google so please donât think this is gong to be an accurate depiction of the Florida FD for Frankie. Itâs fic, babes, letâs let me be a little self-indulgent. This is a rewrite of my first fic which felt too fast, too angsty and not the story I wanted to tell for a concept I really loved. Itâs seen some considerable changes since then while retaining several themes, but I am so excited to share this and particularly this version of Frankie who has been rotting my brain for months and months đĽ đĽđŤ
Series Masterlist | Next. | A03
Palm trees, beaches and viral memes. Thatâs what Iâve always associated with Florida. It never struck me as a potential place I would make my home. I thought I might vacation there one day perhaps; some time in a distant future when I had a real grown-up life and family and we would go to the theme parks, buy overpriced merchandise and fried food and take cheesy photos before flying or driving home.
Itâs funny how things work out though, isnât it?
I pull into the apartment block with trepidation.
This is the fourteenth apartment Iâve viewed this week. Fourteen. I thought the market back in Chicago was bad but this is a whole new hellscape, or maybe it was easier because I knew more people back then. College roommates turn into post-college roommates and your circle is fully formed. It means you have people when you need to find a new place, thereâs a whisper network, friends of friends.
I donât have that anymore.
I want it though. I miss it.
I think I miss it.
The advert says that this listing is for a single room and the apartment is occupied by a group of young professional women. Itâs the best option Iâve come across yet in my browsing of online postings which has taken me through several levels of Danteâs inferno. Facebook is just one above Craigslist in the hierarchy of the internet hellscapes Iâve seen recently. Â One guy asked for my shoe size and asked if I routinely wore high heels before I could view the apartment. Safe to say, that one went off the list extremely quickly. It was a shame though - that listing had a double room and balcony, but I think I can see why itâs been listed for over sixty days now.
I havenât had a roommate since college and this whole process has been a soul-crushing exercise on my already fragile self esteem. I donât think I can take much more of this.
I take a deep breath. Iâve got this. I will find a room so I can move out of Mollyâs and do something, anything with my life. Anything thatâs not just existing in this strange purgatory Iâve found myself in. Iâm potentially placing too much importance on the apartment here, but itâs a symbol, an omen.
Itâs a fresh start. A signal to the universe that Iâm here, that Iâm doing something.
I feel like everything else Iâm hoping and dreaming of canât even start unless I have an apartment, and I canât afford my own apartment and start a business so I need to find a roommate.
Maybe this is finally the one.
âIt was so bad, Benny,â I say, taking a glug of lukewarm beer. âIt was like being in high school over again, but worse. Infinitely worse!â
âWorse?â Benny tilts his head as he asks the question, something that only heightens my association between him and golden retrievers.
âYes, because Iâm not sixteen with a promise itâll get better when I âfind my peopleâ in college. This sucks. What was I thinking? Clearly I wasnât. Maybe I should have stayed âŚâ I trail off awkwardly.
âYou were thinking that Florida is the perfect place to start over, which it is, Daisy,â he replies confidently.
Benny and his brother, Will, have played a considerable part in my move here. They served with my half-brother Tom.
Tom died more than five years ago - I donât really know much about how it happened, Tom and I werenât particularly close. There was an age difference, I sometimes felt he didnât want me as a sister. I was only a reminder of his own parentsâ relationship breakdown after all. I wish I could say we had that sibling bond but we didnât. Itâs clear to me his real siblings were the men in his team - he was their brother.
After his death though, Will kept in touch with me. I wondered if he thought he needed to fill a gap from Tom, if there was a sense of responsibility there. Tom never called me though except for birthdays and Christmas. I havenât told Will that though.
Itâs been nice feeling like I have a big brother. The irony isnât lost on me that I feel this the most once my actual big brother is dead.
Will encouraged me to move down here, as did Molly, Tomâs ex-wife. They said I needed a fresh start and maybe theyâre right.
I canât remember the last time I felt like me. Iâm not even sure what that feels like now, who Iâm supposed to be and who I am really.
Florida seems a good place for reinvention though, for something new. Iâm closer to the beach, to weekends spent with my toes scrunched in the sand as I sip coffee and read books. Days spent with Benny and Will
âHey Benny,â A voice calls as I hear the front door open.
âWeâre in here.â
âYou remember Frankie, right?â Benny asks casually. âTom woulda called him Catfish?â
âUh, sure.â I donât but I wonât admit to that. I remember the name vaguely, but thatâs all. Tom wasnât big on the details of his life with me.
âYou probably saw him at the wake last,â Benny adds.
Even if it hadnât been four years ago since I last saw him, all I can remember of Tomâs funeral is a procession of strangers and the continual vibration of my work phone as I stood in a strange graveyard. That whole day was a stark reminder of the distance between us, that my own blood was a ghost to me even when he was alive. It bought me Molly, Tess and Will though.
Frankie walks in. Heâs a little older than Benny but younger than Tom was. Heâs all dark eyes and curls peeking out through a battered baseball cap; softly tanned skin and that smile ⌠that smile is something. If he could bottle that up and sell it, Iâm pretty sure heâd find a captive market.
âFrankie, you remember Daisy, right? Sheâs moved here,â Benny says. âSheâs starting a coffee van.â
âUh - yeah.â Frankie has no clue who I am, but his efforts to conceal that are admirable. âNow you mention it, Will might have said something about that. Youâre uh, staying with Molly for now, right? You were in Boston before?â I nod, wondering what Will has exactly said to Frankie about my move. âA coffee van?â
âEventually,â I add nervously, âItâs a whole process. So, Iâm actually just temping for now while I get things sorted.â I have no idea why Iâve told him that, why I still want to introduce myself based on my career, on my outward accomplishments. Iâm almost surprised I haven't tried to find an old business card in my pocket or referred him to my LinkedIn profile where it neatly lists all my employable skills and experience.
 Daisy is highly skilled in project management, board engagement, data analysis  and most of all completely falling apart all of the time, but she makes a mean slide deck. Plus, guess what, sheâs open to work!
âOh, right, cool.â
âFrankie works for the fire department. Heâs a firefighter pilot now,â Benny says. âOut here making me look bad.â
âAw, I keep telling you donât need my job to do that, Benny.â
Benny laughs heartily and throws a cushion at Frankie who catches it with ease and a raised eyebrow.
âWell, thatâs definitely cooler than paperwork and admin.â
âNot really,â Frankie says, âI mean, itâs not really cool if you know what I mean.â
âOh,â you say with a groan, âthat might be the most dad joke Iâve heard.â
âItâs a classic though,â he replies lightly. âYou got a soda, Benny?â
âFridge. Wait, I just had a brilliant idea,â Benny suddenly interjects with a grin. âI mean, Iâm a genius.â
âOh yeah?â Frankie asks, one eyebrow quirking up. âAbout soda?â
âNo, no, no. You need a roommate, right?â
âYes?â Frankie replies slowly with the seasoned reluctance of someone who knows exactly what Bennyâs brilliant ideas usually result in.
âDaze needs a room, you need a solid roommate, voila!â Benny makes a complicated hand gesture and smiles widely.
It seems too simple, too obvious but despite the terrible apartment earlier, my heart races as I wonder what if Bennyâs onto something.
âBenny, Iâm sure Daisy would -â
âHow soon is it available?â I ask.
âUh, immediately. My last roommate moved in with his boyfriend, which is great for him, but Iâve been struggling to find anyone suitable for it since then.â
âSuitable?â Immediately flashbacks of the weird Craigslist ads come back to me, please donât say Frankie is going to say something odd. âWhat do you mean, suitable?â I really hope Frankie isnât actually the weird shoe size guy from Craigslist.
âI have a kid who stays with me regularly. I need someone I can trust, someone safe to be around him, and someone whoâs not going to be a âŚâ
âFrankie wanted to mandate a background check,â Benny interrupts, before raising his hands at Frankieâs expression. âI said I got it! Perhaps, if you interrogated people less though âŚ.â
âIâm not gonna apologise for prioritising my kid.â
âSo, do I need a background check to apply then?â
âNah,â Benny says, âyouâre Tomâs sister, right Frankie?â
Thereâs a comforting weight to his words. The conviction in his voice, the simple answer that takes it for granted that maybe Iâm not one of them, but Iâm adjacent at least. It feels unfamiliar. Iâve never been Tomâs sister, not to Tom at least.
I feel as though Iâm wearing someone elseâs skin, another identity, and itâs alien but comforting. Itâs an identity I never knew I could wear. One I never even knew was an option.
âYouâre actually considering this then?â Frankie asks, eyebrows raised.
âWell, yeah. Bennyâs heard all about my nightmare of an apartment hunt so far⌠unless, I mean. If you donât want to then thatâs fine.â
âAlright Tomâs sister,â Frankie begins with a soft smile.
âDaisy.â
âDaisy. âIâll send you the info. let me know whether youâre still interested then. No pressure.â His voice is honey smooth, low and thereâs something else.
His eyes.
Theyâre kind. Soulful even.
âIâm interested,â I say without thinking. âIâm definitely interested.â
Of course life isnât as simple as just being interested in the apartment and one magically falling into my hands. Frankie texts me the information which is sadly towards the top end of my truly pitiful budget but includes a double room, furnishings and the apartment has a balcony which in itself is a big reason enough to say yes. I instantly conjure up a romantic image of me sipping from a steaming mug of coffee in the mornings, watching the sunrise.
Itâs farcical. I hate the sunrise, or at least being up at that time. Iâm not a morning person at the best of times.Â
Frankie says thereâs a beach view from the balcony though ⌠if you squint, lean one arm and twist at a very precise angle. Itâs something he has advised he doesnât recommend without exceptional health insurance though so thatâs definitely off the table for now. He mentioned itâs close enough that the landlord said it was a coastal view but itâs clearly not really.
Texting him feels so easy - thereâs a lightness to the conversation, even as we talk about something as serious as becoming roommates. Itâs why Iâve agreed to this - the next step and the one that is now filling me with dread.
The coffee shop we decided to meet at is halfway between his place and Mollyâs. I havenât been here before but I mentally take notes of the roast, of the general ambience. The brownies look amazing - the perfect combination of a fudgy middles and the solid crackly top that immediately calls to me.
Itâs a neutral space though, one where we can finally make a decision of am I becoming Frankieâs roommate or not.
I think I want to.
I really canât take another week of Craigslist -especially after watching that true crime documentary last night.
I twist the empty sugar packet into a knot, only looking up as the doorbell chimes. I see Frankie immediately.
Heâs wearing a baseball cap, dark hair curling out from underneath and the Florida FD hoodie heâs wearing looks particularly well worn, comfortable. I can almost imagine how it smells.
No. No. This is a roommate negotiation.
âHey,â Frankie says as I stand up to greet him. I immediately panic - is this a hug situation, that feels too familiar, but a handshake feels like an awkward callback to my corporate days. I have no idea what Iâm supposed to do.
âOh, you already ordered?â Frankie asks.
âYeah, sorry, I got here a bit early. Overestimated the traffic. I havenât been here long.â Frankie looks at my almost empty mug of coffee, cocking one eyebrow.
âNo worries. Do you mind if I grab a drink though? Want another?â
âOh no, Iâm good, thanks.â
âOkay.â
He walks over to the counter and I sit down and watch him carefully. This is a test really, an opportunity to try and work out his personality further. Does he talk to the barista? Is he cold or insufferable? Is he rude? These are all qualities I should be able quickly establish in just a few moments. Mum always taught me to notice these things on a date, to tease out those basics in the early days. Not that itâs foolproof. Not always at least.
Frankie seems. pleasant though, laughing with the barista but thereâs almost a shyness about him. I donât get it. From how Benny described him - a pilot, a firefighter pilot no less, I would have expected him to be as extroverted as Benny.
Frankieâs a surprise though. Thereâs a quietness to him, a slow and careful evaluation in each glance, in how he takes in the cafe around us as he sits opposite me. Heâs assessing everything too and it occurs to me that as much as Iâve set this meeting up to work out if I can live with him, heâs doing the exact same thing.
The people pleaser in me instantly calls to attention, ready to perform and be perfect, be liked. To succeed. Automatically I straighten my posture, try and remember my very best table manners. I prepare to perform.
âWhatâs your poison?â I ask, which is a phrase I never use and an immediate sign I need to shift out of performance mode.
âJust an Americano.â
âOh.â
âYou donât approve?â
âno, I guess itâs fine. I mean, I would personally recommend a pour-over and filter coffee than a watered down espresso. Something like a V60 or a -â
âI see what Benny meant about the coffee truck.â
âIâm not judging!â
He raises an eyebrow.
âOkay, only judging a tiny bit. Mostly Iâm rambling. Iâm just - Iâve never got the watered down espresso thing.â
âItâs got two extra shots in if that helps,â he confides with a smirk, âI was on shift yesterday.â
âOh, we could have arranged this for later -â
âItâs fine. The shift wasnât too bad, even got a few hours sleep!â Frankie empties sugar into his coffee and smiles up at me.
âHow did you end up in the FD then? I donât â I donât remember it from before.â
Frankie pauses, twisting the empty sugar packet in his hands. The silence holds just long enough I worry I need to change the conversation before he speaks. âA couple of years ago I needed a change. Itâs been good, much better than commercial helicopter flights for rich people.â
âMaking a difference?â
âTrying to.â A ghost passes over his eyes. I immediately realise the link - Tom. His death. Was that the trigger for Frankie joining the fire department?
âAnyway, the apartment -â Frankie starts, reaching for his phone, âI took some new photos this morning.â
His wallpaper is him with a small boy. His son. I take in the wide toothy smile on his photo, the bright shine in his eyes and the same features I can see in Frankie, accompanied by a head full of brown curls.
âFelix,â Frankie says, a soft smile on his face.
âHe looks like you.â
âPoor kid.â
âNo, I mean - uh, how old is he?â
âFour and a half. He stays with me on alternate weekends, if Iâm off shift, and sometimes in the week if his momâs working late or something. A lot of it depends on my work patterns but thatâs the general rule of thumb.â He wrings his hands together and I wonder what the story is there.
I have limited experience with children to say the least.
Iâve reached that point where half of my friends are parents, sharing photo after photo on their social media and speaking a whole new language. In contrast, the rest of my friends appear still mentally stuck in their early twenties party mindset. Iâve never been sure where I fit in with that; Iâm definitely not a huge partier, but that sort of responsibility and commitment has filled me with anxiety. Maybe itâs my choice in friendships, in love.
I try not to think about it too much, the friendships left to dust over, the dates I was too scared to go on. I threw myself into my work instead because it felt safer somehow. I defined myself by my career and made that the only metric that matter.  I poured all of myself into the corporate world for all those years and it turns out I was naive. So naive. I actually thought they cared about me.
Itâs hilarious in hindsight. Now Iâm in Florida without even a leaving card to commend the efforts I put in. Iâm a barely remembered spectre in the place I once thought I was indispensable in. A shameful secret swept under the rug. A never repeated name.
I canât go back to that world again.
âAre you okay?â Frankie asks, concern creasing his brow. Great, five minutes into talking about becoming roommates and he already clearly thinks Iâm disturbed.
âIâm fine, sorry, must have drifted away for a second.â
âHappens to us all,â he says lightly. âSo, is that a problem?â Frankie folds his arms and I get the clear sense that heâs annoyed, that Iâve missed an important cue somewhere.
âIs what a problem?â I ask.
âFelix staying at the apartment, because sorry but itâs a non-negotiableâ
âNo, not at all. No, I just ⌠I drifted away, like I said.â
âRight.â
Great, this is the first apartment that feels reasonable, and Frankie seems like a nice person and Iâm wrecking it. Somehow at best, Iâm managing to come across as scatty and someone who doesnât listen, and a child hater at worst.
I need to get out of Mollyâs. I need to make Florida work for me.
âI do that sometimes,â I say quietly, âIt doesnât mean Iâm not listening, or anything. Itâs just ⌠itâs just something that happens. I donât have a problem at all with Felix or âŚ. itâs your home, Frankie.â
He pauses. âIf you take the room, itâs yours too though.â
âAnd I get why youâre being careful about who takes the room because of that. Look, I canât promise I wonât secretly judge your coffee choices, or leave coffee grounds everywhere, or watch really terrible TV from time to time, but I âŚâ
âYou donât have to explain. I get it.â
âYou do?â
âI do.â Frankie smiles. âSo, youâre still interested in the room then? You really wanna do this? I thought Benny might be putting you up to this and I wonât be offended if you donât want to live with some random guy.â
âBenny keeps reminding me youâre not though, are you?â
Frankie shrugs and looks away, something flashing over his eyes briefly that feels a little haunted.
Since moving back to Florida, Iâve realised that, at least for Benny and Will, Tomâs death is still an open wound even now. It makes me feel worse sometimes because Will was so kind to me after the funeral, so keen to ensure I knew theyâd be there if I needed them, that I could rely on them in Tomâs absence and I didnât know how to say Iâd never been able to rely on Tom. My brother spent his life a half-stranger to me and I feel like a fraud pretending we were real siblings. Â In five and a half years, the Millers and my brotherâs ex-wife have been more of a family to me than Tom ever was.
âItâs okay,â Frankie says, âIâm sure youâve got far better roommate options.â
âI actually really donât. One guy asked for foot pics, and these women kind of judged me because I wasnât corporate enough anymore, so I donât have a wealth of better options.â
Frankie frowns slightly.
âItâs a brutal market. And your place looks⌠nice and you seem like you wouldnât ask for -â
âSome guy really asked for that?â
âI blocked him, itâs fine. Itâs the internet, Frankie.â
âSometimes I fucking hate that thing.â
âYeah, but I like being able to shop in my pyjamas.â
Frankie laughs. âOkay, fair point. So, Daisy, do you want the room? âCause if you do, itâs yours.â
My heart races. The room is mine? Itâs not just that Iâll be escaping from feeling like a perennial thorn in Mollyâs life, but itâs a beginning. Finally I have the chance to make something here, to be Daisy 2.0 and leave the corporate burnt out husk of my old self in the rearview mirror.
âYou donât have some weird neighbour who plays the bagpipes at 3am?â
âNo, I donât have one of those. Itâs a normal building.â
âGood, just wanted to check. Okay then, yeah, I think I do. Want the room that is.â
âGreat. Iâll get the agreement emailed over to you and weâll go from there.â
âThis is going to be goodâ
âYeah, yeah it is.â
I think this might be the handshake part.
Tag List
If you would like to be added to to my overall taglist please let me know - I am no longer creating individual fic taglists though. As a reminder this blog is 18+ - minors do not interact and I block blank/ageless blogs. Tag lists are a bit funky at the moment, so I recommend following me or my fic account @thelightsandtheroses-fics (you can enable notifications for that account) if you want to ensure you're up to date
Everything Pedro tag-list: @harriedandharassed @pedrostories @hiroikegawa @pedrosaidsheispunk @pastelnap
#frankie morales#triple frontier#triple frontier fic#frankie morales x ofc#frankie morales fic#frankie morales x ofc davis sister#fic: call it what you want#aka the firefighterpilot!frankie one#and the roommate one
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Milena Student ID đđŚ
I decided to finally issue a proper introduction to Milena Chase for you guys so she doesn't remain a face without a story any longer đ¤
Thank you for the template @kiwiplaetzchen !! đŤś
Brace yourself for a big infodump - here is Milena's backstory etc etc đŤ
Family
Milena Jacqueline Chase was born in 1874 to a French muggle, Henri Marie Chase, and a Japanese witch, Miyuki Hoshino.
Milena is the oldest of seven siblings.
The Chase Family⢠is extremely rich, like, buttloads of money rich. Coming from a long line of vintners, they founded one of the leading brands of the best quality wines in Europe, as well as owned a luxury hotel in central Paris.
Milena's grandparents on her mother's side lived in Feldcroft, and still do. They often watched over the Sallow twins after their parents death when Solomon was busy. (Milena does not know her grandparents. đ)
Miyuki - Milena's mother - was a Slytherin in Hogwarts, and was friends with Solomon Sallow.
Life Before Hogwarts
Growing up, Milena and her siblings resided in their family's hotel in Paris, France. Since their parents were too busy with business and galas, they were raised by the housekeepers and servants that worked at the hotel.
Milena was homeschooled, undergoing typical muggle education with many tutors over the years. She gained a passion for learning early on, intensively studying practically anything that piqued her interest! (my little Matilda LOL)
Milena did NOT go to Beauxbatons, yet showed signs of magic very early on. The only reason she was aware of magic and wizardkind because of her mother's house elf, Teeley. (we love Teeley đŤś)
She had so much free time on her hands that she'd mastered and studied so many different things, making her a true jack of all trades! Some of these things include - Chess, fencing, horseback riding, painting, embroidery, baking, PLUS she's fluent in German and Russian (in addition to English and French).
Relationships
I'm planning on going more in depth with Milena's relationships in a series of separate posts so I'm just going to list her closest friends đ
Sebastian Sallow
Anne Sallow
Ominis Gaunt
Imelda Reyes
Athol 'Mousey' McGregor
Samantha Dale
Amit Thakkar
Natsai Onai
Garreth Weasley
Poppy Sweeting
Sacharissa Tugwood
Richard Jackdaw
Personality
MBTI - ENTJ-A
Alignment - Neutral Good
I really think of Milena's personality as close to the in-game MC as possible, but I do tend to wander from that sometimes.. đđ
Milena always strives to help out people when faced with trouble, but never actively seeks out problems to solve - they just always seem to find her. Nevertheless, she always takes on difficult situations and rises to the challenge.
It helps a lot that she's very self-assured, something that came out of spending most of her childhood alone and taking care of herself AND others. That being noted, she's a natural born leader. Milena is assertive and logical and can easily adjust and adapt to many different situations - which makes her the perfect person to deal with a certain Slytherin boy who's emotions control him and not the other way around.. đđ
Milena is an ambivert. While she enjoys socializing, she's also comfortable being alone. She doesn't exactly prefer one over the other though. Socializing comes easy to her, and she has a secure attachment style when it comes to her relationships, never really feeling insecure about them or getting jealous easily. Milena tends to be more mature, and she never internalizes things when people are rude - but because she's so calm and mellow, people are usually either drawn to her or intimidated by her.
As a Ravenclaw, Milena is naturally curious! She's constantly on the hunt to learn new things, which is why she enjoys exploring outside of Hogwarts so much, taking in everything she can about the hamlets and just the Highlands in general. Her curiousity helps her find wonder in even the smallest of things. She's very open-minded, yet nearly always at least slightly skeptical when it comes to new things. She can be very opinionated, but is always open to other perspectives.
Milena is not one to be overly expressive with her emotions (but to be clear - she doesn't hide them either đ), yet she does have a side of her that naturally comes out only when she feels comfortable. With friends like Sebastian especially, she feels like she can let loose and be more playful as well as a bit snarky/sarcastic.
Additional Fun Facts!
I've already mentioned this before - but Milena's absolute favorite things in the world are BIRDS. Birds of all kinds. She knows everything about every species, and I mean everything. And somehow, birds naturally flock to her like she's some type of woodland princess.
Milena's hair is NOT naturally curly/wavy, nor is it naturally auburn! Prior to Hogwarts, she used a charm to change her hair color, but it seemed to have some extra effects on her hair texture too..
Milena doesn't often speak French after arriving at Hogwarts, but since it's her native language, she finds it much easier to express herself in French even though she speaks near-perfect English. She also enjoys sneaking in French phrases to occasionally mess with Sebastian since he has no idea what she's saying đĽ°đĽ°
Her love language is gift-giving, but when it comes to receiving it would be acts of service and quality time.
Is VERY passionate about potion-making.
Becomes an animagus in the summer before sixth-year, her animagus form being a giant golden eagle!
Already mentioned but she's quite fearless, except for when it comes to mooncalves. (She's more creeped out by them than scared of them, though.)
More of a dog person - Raphael is the exception đ
Seeker for Ravenclaw in her sixth-year!
#i hope i worded everything alright đđ#i'm terrible with words - i read this about 100 times to see if it made any sense đĽ˛#i have so much about her and her family in my brain i just need to figure out how to properly put it out there đđ#this has been in my drafts for so long but i've been so sick and stuck in my bed so i was like.. just finish it now while you have the time#admittedly i fell asleep typing about twice during the last part though đđđ#if you read all or majority of this.. i love you đŤľđ#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy mc#hogwarts legacy art#hogwarts legacy fanart#hogwarts legacy oc#hl mc#ravenclaw#milena chase#sparxyvdoodles#i'm thinking of making one of these for mousey as well đ
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Tristan seemed to be surprised by this. He knew that Carl had a stepbrother named Thomas. He also knew all about Thomas and the way he reacted when he became Dr.Two-Brains. That man was honestly so on very thin ice for making his spouse feel like he did. "You're his older brother? We had no idea he had any other siblings." Bailey began to fidget with his hands. "I... am aware of that. Yes. I hadn't realized that I had a younger brother until recently myself. Carl was standing a few feet away from the door, listening in. He was just as confused by this. If he was going to be completely honest. He was only told of his one sibling Thomas. And that was his stepbrother. "I see. Do you want to speak with him? Perhaps another time..." Carl felt like they shouldn't turn him away. "I will be able to talk with him. You and Gene can plan out what you need to do. It's alright. I'll speak with him outside while giving you two privacy." Gene was also feeling protective over his father. Yet from where he stood, Bailey didn't pose much of a threat. If anything, it seemed Carl would easily be able to handle himself against him. "Very well. Please call us if you have any trouble." Tristan moved out of the way, allowing Carl to walk through the door. Leaving the former mad scientist and Tristan to their conversation. "You say that you're my older brother. How do I know that you're telling the truth." Bailey frowned. It wasn't disappointment from Carl not believing him but courage leaving him. "I know it sounds strange, I truly do. But I know you are my younger brother. We share very similar facial features. When I saw you, I just knew that we were family. I had come looking for you in hopes of us meeting. You see, I never got to truly meet my birth family. I was given hope of meeting one of them when I saw you on the news." Carl might have not been a lie detector, but he knew that this man wasn't lying to him at all. It seemed he didn't dare to try. "Very well. We can speak. I can see what you are referring to. We do have very similar facial features. Genetic features." At the library, Matthew's thoughts were racing. He wanted to chase after that blasted woman, but if Matthew were to do that, Miss Dewey wouldn't be very happy with that. She would have to report his sudden leaving to Margaret Fuller, and he didn't want to deal with her during such a time. He had to let Evangeline free. Unaware that he wasn't the only one wondering about her whereabouts. "Who was that?" Frank seemed concerned. "It's... very complicated. I can't go after her because of my probation, unfortunately. I had known her for a long time." This answer seemed to have appeased him. "Oh, I hope she will be fine. Hey, on the bright side. I happened to pick you up some snacks as well. Since you seemed occupied. And since we're going to be working buddies." Matthew gave him an appreciative smile. "Oh, thank you.â Though at the back of his mind. He couldn't shake the expression of confusion on Evangeline's face. Why was she so disoriented? Why was she young, alive? After work, Matthew was going to tell Carl about this. Perhaps not Gene though. He wasn't going to pile his problems into his son's own. He already did so unfortunately. Back at the house. âMy love. I can't sit back anymore. Please. I have another solution, to ease your mind. Why don't I wear a tracking device of your own creation? This will ease your mind. Knowing where I am if I were to disappear. Don't you have anything of the sort already set to be used?â Gene's eyes widened at that. Why didn't he think of it? âTristan, you're brilliant!â Finally they were on the same page. âIf I'm taken, you'll be able to find me and send help. If I'm not taken by this being, we'll be able to track down my brother and our spouse. Either way we'll be able to get them back. I promise, my love.â Gene was quiet for a moment before embracing the other. âIf things go wrong, I hope you know you'll be sleeping on the couch. Fine then. I want them back just as much as you do.â Tristan gave him a reassuring squeeze. âAs you wish.â
@ninjastormhawkkat
"Hold on a minute, some weird guy is staring at me. Probably some bum trying to get change off of me." Comments like that had ensured he would absolutely be relieved of guilt for what was to happen next. A smile spreads across the figure's facial features, revealing inhumanly sharp teeth glinting in the street lights. A hand quickly shot out, taking a hold of the rather obnoxious man. "What the hell are you doing-" A scream soon pierced the quietness of the night. It quickly became a horrendous gurgling noise. The cellphone in the man's hand had fallen in the process. Leaving the person on the other end to become worried and confused about what was happening to the man. It didn't take very long for the man to become completely still. The figure allows him to finally fall to the cement below, licking at his blood stained lips in satisfaction. "The night, it is still so young. I don't think I shall waste another minute on you." Like a ghost in the night, he had vanished. As if he were never there. Leaving only the grotesque mess he had made for others to find. Unknown to him, there was a witness to this who had seen the whole thing. Watching in complete and utter fear. The figure grinned, it was as if he were seeing the world through different eyes. The opportunities that awaited him. It sent a shiver of excitement up his spine. His thirst might have satiated but he wasn't satisfied with only that. Oh no. There was so much more he had in mind for this city. Just wait till morning until they discover his little surprise for all to see. It wasn't until hours later did he finally return to the house. Feeling pleased with himself. Carl shot up in bed, heart racing so fast within his chest. Calming down once realizing he was in bed with Matthew. It took the retired scientist to recognize his surroundings. "That's right.. we're at Gene's place." The dream he had woken up from was already fading from his memory. It was rather absurd, recalling what he could. He could've sworn the dream was incredibly vivid and felt so real. But the little bits of the dream that he did remember became fuzzy and distant in his mind. Carl wasn't as quiet as he thought. Matthew had woken up. "Love, are you okay?" His voice had brought Carl from his thoughts. "Matthew, dearest. I hadn't meant to wake you up." He frowned, feeling guilty as he wanted his husband to get as much rest as needed. "It's alright, I needed to get up early anyway. Don't feel bad, my darling. I'm worried about you, though.â He gave Matthew a smile. âIt was just a dream. I was just startled from a dream. I don't even remember what happened in it anymore. I'll be fine.â Matthew pulled the other into his arms, holding him in such a comforting manner. Placing a loving kiss to Carl's forehead. âEven so, I've still got you.â The former scientist blushed. Matthew still had such an effect on him even after all this time. âThank you, my love.â They had stayed like that for a good while. It wasn't until Carl noticed the time that he forced Matthew to get out of bed and to get ready for his community service. Though there was something that had been bothering Carl since waking up. He had not remembered going back to bed after his conversation with Gene last night. No matter how much he tried to, it just kept coming up blank to him. Carl sighed, he must've been that tired that he didn't remember. He was getting up there in age. âI could stay back. Margaret won't be very happy about it but I don't want to leave you if you're not okay.â Carl smiled once more. âI'm not going to be responsible for what she'd do if you tried. You're also expecting a new face there, aren't you?â Matthew looked surprised at that. He had completely forgotten about that. And Carl did make a point. Wincing at the thought of what Margaret might do if he actually did skip out on it. Though for Carl, it would've been absolutely worth it. Whatever punishment she'd dole out, he'd endure for his dearest husband. âGo get dressed now.â Matthew chuckled at that before doing as he said. Leaving Carl to this thoughts.
Carl still felt unsettled by the dream, it was like he was walking through a mist. Yet at the same time it was like someone or something was controlling his body and actions. The dream was scary, but also ludicrous. At one point Carl thought he saw someone who looked like his old narcissus ex boyfriend who he never thought about again until now. Carl just let out a sigh and shook his head. 'It was just a nightmare.' Carl reassured himself. He remembered how reading how the mind and senses can trick the body into thinking something is real when it isn't. His strange dream was just one of those cases. Carl decided to get out of bed and go downstairs. He was going to try and help his son and other son-in-law deal with this strange and frightening case of kidnapping. Carl pushed away the issue of the nightmare and headed downstairs, ignoring the feeling of dread in the back of his mind. Carl also did not pay attention to that fact that his mouth was no longer dry and that there was no glass cup on the nightstand when he got up that morning. Atomic Steele surveyed the area with caution and an intense gaze. He was going over the area looking for something out of the ordinary. Something that had bothered his friend and teammate Electric Blur. Something in this seemingly abandoned area affected Blur's powers. "I wasn't sure what just happened. It felt like I was suddenly communicating emotionally with a strange energy wave that was being transmitted from there. I felt uneasy and scared...but also sad for some reason." That is what Blur told Atomic when she came back to their hideout looking shaken and worried. She told him she never felt anything like that before, not even from the fallen B.E.A.W labs. Atomic Steele offered to check it out for her as the young heroine wasn't keen on returning to the spot. While Electric Blur was being comforted by her other teammates, Atomic followed the directions the heroine had given him to the location where she felt the strange and unsettling energy. What Atomic Steele found when he got there was a large but abandoned warehouse surrounded by an empty field. The area was surrounded by a rusted, wired fence. The place looked like it hadn't been used for years. Still, the normally brave yet brash young hero couldn't help but feel a child go up his spine. His gut and instincts telling him there is something dangerous here, something evil. Atomic Steele walked up to the doors of the warehouse. He grabbed at a rusted handle and tried opening it. To the hero's surprise and growing caution, the door easily unlocked. Atomic Steele took a deep breath and steadied his nerves. He then proceeded inside the warehouse in a slow pace, ready to discover what laid inside. "Oh hello there Matthew. Cutting it a bit close are we." Miss Dewey lightly teased the former villain as he just came into the library to start his community service. "Sorry about that Miss Dewey. I had some problems this morning but I'm here now." Matthew replied, feeling a bit embarrassed about cutting things close. He really didn't want to leave Carl and Gene alone during the family crisis that was happening but at the same time he really didn't want to test the limits of his second chance at freedom from prison. Miss Dewey gave the man a look of sympathy and concern. "You know, if there is a serious problem going on at home, I wouldn't mind helping you fill out some forms to request a temporary leave from your community service." The librarian offered. Matthew smiled in appreciation at her kind gesture. "Thank you Miss Dewey but I'll be alright." Matthew responded. "So has the new service worker arrived yet?", the former villain asked. Miss Dewey smiled and nodded. "Yes he is here. Matthew, allow me to introduce you to Frank Leigh." Matthew glanced over to the man Miss Dewey introduced. He looked to be a few years older than Victor but still younger than Matthew and Carl. He had dark hair and light, blueish gray eyes. The man gave a friendly wave to Matthew. "Hi nice to meet you." Frank spoke in a kind tone. @dualnaturedscientist
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I'm being so serious rn if I ever talk about doing another fringe festival run in the next like 3 years at least send me to fucking therapy. It is a cry for help. This is bad for me.
#im over halfway at least. but fucking christ.#ive barely seen anyone i care about for weeks. im hardly sleeping. im in knee braces and im still in pain.#13 hours a day of people yelling at me. the busiest ive ever seen public transport. eating the most random sporadic shit.#no hobbies. very few friends or family. crying twice a day. i still havent been paid. binding!! binding 7am til midnight!!!! daily!!!!!#my whole body hurts im physically mentally emotionally exhausted im desperately lonely im not doing the things that make me feel fulfilled#when my loved ones are free im either working or passed out in pain and exhaustion#the boss is enabling all sorts of bullshit yet again#im not able to be a person anyone i care about deserves to know#and that makes me not want to know me either#that is at least when i have enough fractions of a spoon left to feel anything at all except upset or numb#i NEED this all to be over#my next free day is my sisters 21st birthday next month my fucking baby sister is turning 21 and i dont know what to get her#i dont have a brain im not being!! a person worth knowing!!!!#my gran fucking fell the other day she's hurt ive not visited her in ages bc of work and finance i want to see my wee gran i want#to buy her ice cream and tell her i love her#i had to clean up an old guy who smashed his face on the pavement today and im just putting That trauma off til at least mid September#my BEST FRIEND gets MARRIED next week#and i can barely think about it because im on empty#im on below empty#they deserve so much better from me#im out. im not doing this again. not like this.
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#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying#shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl#in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated#bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not#her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet#so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive#personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd#compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from#happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is#like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil#not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am#barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me#and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them#but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and#thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard#to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds#nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of#brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but#that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer#defying the stats but for how much longer?#i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it#i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else#excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things#unrelated#ed mention#i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama#bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]
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I finally saw the mean girls musical (the movie one) I have so many fucking thoughts oh my god
#thoughts#oni talks#mean girls 2024#I think I may be the only person to kind of like it? like donât get me wrong it is kinda ROUGH but it has so much potential and thereâs bits#and pieces that I actually really enjoy or wish they had more of or just aahh#Iâve been nonstop thinking about the ideal version in my head like thereâs so much potential obviously Iâm biased by like a lot#since for one I know I tend to like stuff other people hate or donât like but for two this sequel was weirdly way more relatable so maybe#Iâm just projecting from my own personal experiences but Idc the POTENTIAL THERES SO MUCH ID WANNA DO INSTEAD#like thereâs so many little details and characterizations that I wish was expanded on or fleshed out and itâs just like it feels like either#half baked or that itâs gone through too many edits itâs like itâs scared to exist?? like thereâs some differences I love and wish they lol#leaned into but itâs like it was terrified to be too different? or like they were rushing the end especially#like in my ideal form itâs a tv show coz I think they honestly have enough that could be genuinely expanded in a way more interesting way#via that format probably not like a super extended series like you COULD but youâd definitely need more expansion but I could see the potent#but like idk one SOLID musical season with expanded character story and not like one of those rush cram shows like a good solid one#like Reginaâs characterization is so fascinating but also feels like slightly off and like they couldâve leaned way more into things?#like I think keeping Regina as a closeted lesbian gives the greatest potential and interest for an expanded story#like I loved maybe the first half of the movie the most like that one song she sang to manipulate Aaron would work so much more perfectly if#sheâs singing it about/to Cady? I also think in my ideal brain an cool flashback episode for Janis and Regina would be so cool coz thereâs#so much you could flesh out in a flashback than you could in a retelling which while I do like the retelling since it lets you imagine thing#I just! potential! I also want more of them interacting and I do think changing Janis to be a lesbian works if they leaned more into it?#I also think in my ideal form janis would have more comeuppance or acknowledgement of her shit? I also think an arc of Regina coming out#like one thing they missed from the original is Regina playing soccer at the end & I think they could hint more towards that and maybe lean#more into her at home life in an expanded story way coz her mom is clearly like⌠yikes. granted maybe some of my views on the movie are too#biased by personal experience but like the way she snaps at her mom usually in my experience isnât out of nowhere? like parents behind#closed doors. or frustrations with what her mom has clearly been putting on her the way she tells her mom not to talk about her body is very#like idk a lot of the characters in this version feel more real to me bc they act really similar to people I know irl so the expanded story#could be cool. another one that in my ideal brain would have more is Gretchen and especially her relationships with Regina as well as with#that one guy and her parents I wanna see more of how that works and her arc to feel more meaningful when she dumps him & mentions family#also as much as I didnât care much for the straight plot stuff thereâs 100% missed potential there that I could see in the differences like#iirc in the original itâs regular algebra not AP calc which I think couldâve been used as an interesting characterization opportunity for
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had quite the night drive earlier this evening.
#just me rambling again#web weaving#(?)#uh. one of my friends who is out of town for college was visiting and i got to see him and our friends and the only core member of that#group of people missing was my ex girlfriend who you may also know of as my wonderful wife#who has I assume been very busy with their own life things but has also barely and very sparsely had any hint of communication with any of#us within the past few months which I've been realizing very recently sort of hurts my feelings because we used to be so close and#they had been saying that they would be constantly making sure we still were in each other's lives. but then very quickly have#seemingly dropped off the face of the earth#anyways. I was driving aforementioned friend who is in town back home (family home not college obv) and when i was finally going back#towards my house afterwards my Google maps finally lead me to an area that i was more familiar with driving and i got to an#intersection and it was telling me to take a right to go home but i knew that i knew the way perfectly from that intersection to my#ex girlfriend / best friend / wifes familys house from all of the times I've gone that direction through the past years and so#i turned off my directions and i took a left towards their house#not super sure why but my brain and body just knew it was something i needed to do and so i went and drove down their street and cried#a lot the whole time and then drove myself home from their house once again following a super familiar path#and idk im still feeling very emotional about it. the fact that halloween by noah kahan was the first song to play on Spotify#after i made that left turn im sure didnt help (knowing that i miss them so much and am going to be leaving this area myself#soon enough here and there's been an open offer for a while now that they are welcome to follow and live with me once they get their degree#(and also um. halloween is next week lol)#idk i just havent felt the full force of how badly i miss having them in my life until tonight. when i was around this person i could feel#our souls singing in harmony. i genuinely cannot describe the feelings of our relationship in words i feel like only vaguely abstract art#could communicate the connection that was forged between us and the level of understanding and knowing#something not dissimilar to looking into the sun directly or trying to describe a vivid color to someone who is completely blind#something about the way the entire universe breathes in unison and everything around us are all pieces of the same stars#sigh#i miss my wife tails i miss her a lot /ref
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something i was thinking about on stand yesterday.. danganronpa shsl lifeguard who tries to save a dying person they find, bonus points if they dont come clean about it at first because they think they actually killed that person with their efforts
#or if they do actually kill them which would be really tragic. this happens in chapter 4 of course#ok i actually put way too much thought into this. to put it into perspective i had shifts with 5 hours on stand saturdsy and sunday#i thought of it on saturday 20 mins in. so this concept has been in my brain for a while#anywayyy im thinking she had some pretty high profile eddie aikau type saves and got a little famous off that#AND is always offering to help people#so for the sake of writing another tragic athlete yuri ch4: i think the victim in her case is someone who is adamant about not wanting help#like a woman playing a sport typically seen as being manly (american âfootâball rugâby wrestlinâg etc etc)#im imagining shes from a family of pretty good (male) athletes and is constantly dealing with comparisons to portray her as weaker#she wont accept help or medical assistance because she thinks it makes her weak. which is a trait female characters should have more#so you get two really valid worldviews and its debatable whether the victim actually needed medical assistance/help or if it#just made things worse#anyway im imagining the ending of the previous chapter shows a black screen with#'unknown: hey hey are you okay?'#and ms life guard tries to give her situationship a slightly dignified resting place so we dont discover the body for a little while#not too long but a little while#actually i think the lifeguard killing the athlete with chest compressions would make a really compelling scenario#where the actual person with murderous intent was someone who poisoned or near-fatally hit the athlete#and they get to walk free (under extreme suspicion from other students) while the girl who got sooo close to saving her dies#lifeguard could be someone whos easily distracted but locks in while on duty to the point where shes like a different person#but slipping up and breaking the athletes rib (or whatever) was her one moment of panic#because she cared about the victim on a personal level#i neednto be sedated so i shut the fuck up. tomorrow is the first day of school bro#i DID say i had 10 hours to think about this
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(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)
Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...
Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!
(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)
I know what you are.
Farewell, now!
(She then leaves the way she came from.)
(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)
And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...
(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)
You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?
I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.
(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)
Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way
(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)
Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.
WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.
Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever
#bright spark#<- for finding this again later. haha i called her sparky#the way she talks fucking tickles my brain so much im so . ohguohguohoghog SHE#SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG you see i was in the mindset that i would do this one little thing and then i would do my work which uh.#that leads to so so SO much procrastination. including on fun things! oh so fun things.#today was an event.#i also spent quite a bit of time ruminating i âwould she really say thatâ is worse when shes literally you#to clarify. she is spam's aunt by like. building standards. not really in her found family. so its fucked up but as i said in discord this#is like. a âyour mom's kinda hotâ level crush. you know. also sorry i really wanted to say filament fever its been eating at me okay#nothing SERIOUS the way my f/os (and spam's f/os (plural now?? i guess?? if today was a canon event)) are#honestly mark still feels like the only real one with her to me but damn it. if spam's reflecting My Changes then she's Reflecting My Chang#spam in toontown unlike my other sonas is the most âits just you againâ out of all of them and thats partially because her main#cog connection... is frostbite. they bounce off each other like we literally bounce off each other and damn it shes been so stagnant on her#own because of it. mark happened and she mirrored that because i kept fucking talking about him while we were in character and ideally#i should TRY to fix her. but also man because i'm not doing Serious lore stuff with her i dont. even know if i want to.#i kinda brushed it over the rug by saying that she relies on her constant entertainment so readily because she herself still doesnt feel#like she has a place outside of cogs only. sure she's in high roller backstage sure she's in allan's family now but shes not Doing anything#with herself the way that her friends are. mole's a ranger. frostbite cohosts. wishes... has chip. and something she doesn't have--#living and fully growing as a toon. rather than being haphazardly slapped into a world. and in some respects she's envious of frostbite#finding themselves so quickly because she distracts herself because she's still kinda struggling with it. despite everything. yes she lives#happy and carefree a lot of the time but she keeps buying those dumb phones because when she's truly alone... her mind starts to wander.#that's what mark is for. so that spam can dream of a world where she has a purpose. even if its fake and fragile and just nothing compared#to the great friends that she already has. where she feels like its worth it doing something when she doesn't have anyone. and in that#respect. with the goons ma allan parallels in sonboy the spam cathal parallels shine. seeking tv (and to a lesser extent games) as a#method of escapism. even when one's life is already pretty good. because there's nothing else worth doing without friends or family.#the internet isn't just cool. it gives her something to be when it seems like everyone is something but her. and maybe thats a lazy#excuse for why it seems like she doesnt HAVE anything to call her own but that but damn it i'm trying my best to twist it around.#spam has such a HISTORY yknow? even if it feels like i havent established her much.#spam is the hearts to frostbite's spades not just because they're the duo of all time but because spam's fake stupid love keeps her going#sorry i just started rambling in the tags of this post about spam it. happens. she loves her friends so much i need to reiterate that okay
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a super fun thing that my brain is really good at is hearing a random fact and remembering it forever. but only if it's bad :)
#the reason I'm thinking about that right now: I wish I had never read that having a crease on your earlobe means you're more likely to have#heart disease.#scared me so much that I read a whole paper about it#but it's been years now so I don't remember the details#just that that's a thing apparently#and guess what my brain does with that information? oh yeah of course I have to obsessively look at the ears of everyone now! does that#do anything helpful? nope! just makes me very very anxious :)#it's just like when I was a kid and I got nightmares about scurvy every time I didn't eat a potato for a week.#like. wow I could be so smart and everything if my brain wasn't constantly focused on random bullshit that is completely irrelevant đ#also this thing specifically: I've always been weirdly fascinated by ears and this made that a million times worse and also very scary.#like ooh that's a nice ear :) oh no death exists and this person is going to die and#yeah it sucks.#specifically choosing not to mention any names in this context because my god this shit is on my mind all the time already I really don't#need to say it where anyone can see#it's embarrassing enough#though anyone who has looked at my blog in the past month already knows who I'm talking about.#like. I really shouldn't allow myself to like anyone over the age of like. idk 45.#it's so unbelievably exhausting.#but annnyway I'm totally normal and fine :)#oh yeah I also have creases on my earlobes lol so that definitely added to the scariness (and THEN my mother randomly mentioned recently#that EVERYONE on her side of the family had/has heart disease. bitch WHAT the fuck. anyway so yeah guess we know what's gonna kill me#haha isn't that fun :) )#ALSO the fact that my memory is very very bad means that I remember absolutely none of the details about shit like this. so it could very#well be completely irrelevant and harmless but i wouldn't remember that part.#and I think even if I found out more it wouldn't help. it's been an obsession for so long. I've never had one go away that I've had for#this long. so. guess I'm just fucked.#personal
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I find it weird how ppl will say for reasons that systems are fake is that multiple alters talk similar or have similar interests. Have u ever met siblings. They talk similar and have similar interests because they've spent years together ya dork, as systems start to get along more they're gonna start sharing more interests and speech patterns just like you with people you spend a lot of time with lol. Also they all share a life, they have to be able to act like each other to get by and seem "normal."
#this isnt directed ive just noticed that me and willow steal each others interests a lot and its making me think abt all the ppl ive seen#using that reasoning in fake claiming. me and her dont really talk similar but i can imagine that happening with systems who#talk to each other or mask as each other more.#idk. its to our best interest to share skills and interests. if only one person likes/knows writing then we have a problem when we need to#write and they're not present. if only one person likes/knows guitar we're in big trouble in guitar class if they're not present.#and we NEED to get along to operate so its good for us to have things to bond over! we used to argue a lot and it was fucking annoying and#made life hard. i couldnt take care of the body and willow was depressed and it made the brain miserable and it sucked#so the more we can get along the better and i think having things in common is good for that!#like i said we dont really talk the same and for us that works just fine but for some systems that could create communication barriers.#idk. i just think ppl should think a little more about why alters might become similar over time. me and my cohost r literally like family#system#osdd#did#multiple#plural#edit: actually maybe i do pick up speech from her. she says 'my friend' a lot and sometimes im tempted to say it cus its nice#but i feel like it sounds weirder coming from me đ
#OH AND LOVELY. she uses the word lovely so much ive just picked it up. its such a good adjective#idk why usually you expect the host to be the one whos language people copy but i feel like i pick up things from willow more than she does#from me.
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Turns out my mum wants to divorce my dad except actually she doesnât so I have to keep it a secret and she hasnât thought to apologise for freaking me out like that because Iâm her therapist and she doesnât care about how I feel :)))))
#this sure is a post.#I donât usually like when people post stuff thatâs clearly baiting for a pity like/reply but I donât know who else to talk about this with#because my interim therapist is terrible and my appointment is next week#I donât want to burden my partner by continually talking about it because I always burden them and theyâre stressed right now too#my best friendâs parents just got divorced and it traumatised her so I canât talk about it with her#my brother needs me to be his big sister and not talk about my own problems with it#and for obvious reasons I canât talk to my dad#anne speaks#I might consider talking to another friend if my brain doesnât start behaving but I donât want to randomly treat her like my therapist lol#we donât talk all that much when weâre not seeing each other in our friend group#but if Iâm really going insane then I will#I guess I have my psychiatrist on Monday and she knows about my family insanity#and I can stay with my best friend over the weekend (sheâs offered) even if I donât tell her why
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of course the first thing im doing before outlining a fic or writing out character ideas is putting together a playlist and i'm sO HAPPY getting to use this much Fearless. normally i tend to stay away from anything pre-red era bc those emotions are clearly a younger person's emotions, and i don't write much for young characters but like.....im :')
#ive decided that juliana and nemona both are the 'forgotten' children in wealthy powerful families#the game said nemona's dad has something to do with the rotom phones i think?#and she had a bit of a throwaway line like 'my older sister is going to take over the business so my parents just let me do what i want'#and like.....a character living in the shadow of their sister yoU SAY??????#that's my Specialty#and the story i'm working with for juliana as that her family moved around a ton all throughout her life#paldea was just the next stop really#born in unova and spent a year or two in just about every other region#at first nemona and arven help her with her Paldean (Spanish) now and then#but having spent a good few years in Kalos she was exposed to enough to get around without much trouble#still need to look up how spain divides up their schooling and whatnot#bc like in an american/unovan setting i would say these two are like. sophomores/10th grade#but like idk how spain divides up their grades yet#but hhhh my brain in on ovERDRIVE theres not enough time in the day to do all the research i want for this#talking tag#writing tag
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