#i have screenshots.. we have the same convo on hand.. tell me where i was mean

[goth-oatmilk-latte]

this is gonna be a long rant but it's bothered me for a while

(non-ed related)

and any thoughts are welcome but it's mostly a rant

so basically i dont have a lot of girlfriends. i never have, all the ones i got close to generally either betrayed me in the worst ways or we moved and lost touch. (betrayal backstories is a whole other rant, but it's nauseating the way ive been treated by women who claimed to love me) so most of my friends are dudes, in fact, both of my true besties are.

anyway, i have really one solid girlfriend and shes a good bit younger than me. she also dont have a lot of friends in general, she has me and a small handful of others. she regards me as her bestie, i kind of guess shes mine but like...idk. i view her more like a younger sister, i guess.

so basically, she copies EVERYTHING i fucking do, within her means. like, before her and i were close, she just dressed pretty normal, no notable flavor or style. but now shes trying so hard to be goth bc i am. she cut her hair how mine used to be, dyed it black bc mine is, got all of the same piercings as me, yall get it. i wish i was exaggerating but im really not. even her mom messaged me to tell me she bases her style off me and shes glad im not a "greasy goth" (lol??)

but it's infuriating. i know i didnt invent goth. im not the first to have the piercings, hair, outfits, and interests i do...but it's really annoying to have someone base their entire style and interests off of me bc i have worked hard to curate myself as a person. i work hard for my aesthetic, im pretty thoughtful in my planning for outfits, how i decorated my home, everything, but especially bc these are genuine interests ive had since i was a preteen...and it's just so irksome to have someone try to imitate it as closely as possible every single day without any real, concrete interest in any of it, outside of prob just tryna be relatable to me

and a few weeks ago we got on the topic of sexuality and how im pan and have had gfs etc now shes magically also bisexual. she told me she got "tricked" by a straight girl recently but caught an attitude with me bc i told her if there wasnt clear intentions by both parties, she wasnt tricked, bc there was no flirting/romantic intent and that being bi/pan talking to straight women (or even other bi/pan wonen) doesn't automatically garner a romantic response. she didnt like that and got really snappy with me, but im not wrong. she tried to say she thought she was going on a date, but she was literally going to another friend's house to watch rupaul, and the other girl was also coming over, she sent me screenshots of the convo and like.....yeah, no, 1000% on her for thinking anything of it. she just picked said girl bc she was friends with her other friend and I guess it was an easy shot, but she also overlooked homegirl having a whole man too so like????? bro hello.

and i dont necessarily wanna be super confrontational about the aesthetic thing bc that just feels so middle school drama sToP cOpYiNg Me energy but it grates my skin...especially too bc like she also gets a little grumpy when she asks where my clothes are from and a lot of places i shop dont carry her size (shes a 3X or a 4X; ive never really looked or cared to see who carries what size bc im an xs so why would i??) and thats somehow my fault bc she cant buy the same shit i wear...or she complains she cant afford the docs or demonias etc like i have and its like okay curate your own damn style that you can afford bc like???? im not your fucking barbie doll mannequin?????

[zypiris]

ID/ A series of screenshots of a twitter thread by @/vaspider. It reads, "Let's talk about safewords. There's a story I've been telling since my kid (now 22) was small. She LOVED to play ticklefight, and she loved to yell "No, stop!" and then sneak-attack tickle right afterwards. She thought this was hilarious

"Kiddo," I said, "it's not fair and not nice to say 'no, stop' and then start tickling again. When someone says stop, we stop." "But it's fun!"

"It's only fun if it's fun for everybody. Do you want to make a rule that everybody in the family knows for tickling where you can say 'stop' and keep playing?" "Mmmhmm. That is fun." "Okay, but then how do you say to stop when you really want to stop, or I do?"

She was stumped, and we talked it out. It's only fun if everyone knows the rules, and everybody can stop if they want to stop. She decided she wanted a different way to say stop. "Great! Now remember, this rule only works if people know about the rule."

"I know! If everybody doesn't know the rules, we're not playing the same game." "Right. So if you're playing with someone who doesn't know these rules and they say stop…" "…we stop."

And so 'pink elephants' was born. From roughhousing to teasing to conversations as she got older, 'pink elephants' expanded its use to mean "I am not joking and I want this to stop right now." It didn't inhibit our conversations about consent - it supported them.

When she was about 10 or so, I took her for an annual checkup. At one point the doctor was checking her stomach and she put her hands on his hands and said, "no, no, pink elephants!" He understood "no" if not "pink elephants."

"What does pink elephants mean?" "It means I don't like it and it has to stop and I'm not kidding." The doc looked at me, amused: "Your kid has a safeword?" I mean, yes! "No" can get lost in kids yelling, in the chaos of play, but "pink elephants" is much harder to miss!

But what happened bc of her safeword, because of the fact that she HAS a safeword to use, a way to help her enforce her boundaries when she might feel intimidated by an authority figure, exposed, or nervous, and might have difficulty being clear about her boundaries?

The three of us had a convo about the necessity of the exam, that we understood it was ticklish, and the doc would make the exam quick in order to alleviate the ticklishness. That it should only last about as long as it took her to count to 20 in her head.

Safewords are not just sexual. They are communication tools. In this case, they helped a 10yo kid set boundaries about how she wanted to be touched by a medical caregiver, helped reinforce to her that she has a right to say no, a right to protect herself.

Whether you're saying pineapple or pink elephants or Bigfoot or 'no', a means of communicating your boundaries is only as good as the people you're with, and only as good as the self you bring to a situation. Talking up front and setting boundaries is healthy.

This is true whether you're dealing with a sexual situation, a friendship, a professional relationship, or playing a tabletop RPG. I have devoted literally thousands upon thousands of words in 5 different game lines talking about negotiating and respecting boundaries.

Using the Stoplight System or X Card during a TTRPG is another form of safeword. It creates a mechanism by which all play ceases, for the health and safety of all parties.

Yes, people SHOULD stop and do a check-in if someone says no or stop, unless you have already agreed that not stopping when you say stop is part of the game. That's true whether you're talking about playing ticklemonster with a 5yo or monsterfucker w/her mom later."

The last tweet is a gif of Morticia Addams sipping from a teacup. /End

[crimenightarchive]

i don’t think there’s a need to make this a big deal, but chelsea/@ailghul & whoever @soralium is: i was not attacking you. i know you’ll check my blog, but like i said, i had full intentions of following you after you resolved this issue so we could write. i didn’t expect a public apology, it’s not even my place to accept one. i didn’t expect anything but you realizing your mistake and changing. please come back so we may talk or message me using a burner account, i don’t mind.

[stachmousworld]

Steve is dumb (Part 3)

Tags: Somnophilia kink, Daddy kink, vaginal fingering, a lot of teasing too, unprotected sex, breeding kink.

Summary: Steve finally gets some action.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 4��

A week later

Steve couldn’t believe it. He threw his jacket on his couch and flopped on it. He laid there staring at the ceiling.

This entire night has been shitty. Entirely shitty.

There were no words for what happened. Sylvie, his wife, has been hellbent on meeting everyone in the goddamn room and has flashed her jewelry to everyone who didn’t even care. She hadn’t tried to stay polite and had dismissed a lot of influential people. The same people who financed his art department.

He needed to call Tony and ask him to do some control damage. They were supposed to raise some money to help students pay their tuitions. Steve was afraid that Sylvie had ruined it. He had known from the get-go that she was vain. But tonight had been particularly awful. She has raised the bar and broke her own record.

Someone knocked on his door. Before Steve could speak the door swung open revealing a disheveled Bucky. He was fumbling with the buttons of his shirt. His pants were still open. His face was red. There were a few hickeys on the top of his chest and his hair was down. Steve took a deep breath not ready to enter this territory right now. Or ever.

“I’m sorry Stevie, but I gotta go. Some kind of emergency,” he struggled with his pants. “Fuck, my belt is still in her room. Well, fuck it.” He pulled his hair into a bun. “Can you do something for me?” he asked urgently.

Steve waved his hand telling him to go on.

“I…I know we haven’t really talk since last week but tonight was supposed to be really special,” he babbled. “You know that we talked about somnophilia and how she was really excited to do it, right?” Steve barely hummed. “We were supposed to do that tonight. She is already asleep, and I barely got the time to prepare her that…” He showed his phone. “Emergency.”

Steve sat slowly upright. “You want me to have sex with my stepdaughter, while she is sleeping, and she doesn’t know that it’s me?”

“Well, it’s her biggest fantasy, Steve.” Steve opened his mouth to argue. “No, listen. She had told me about her…” He looked behind him as if she’d popped up. “fantasy journal.” He finished in a whisper as if it made sense to Steve. “Please, Steve, I beg you. I promised her.”

“Yeah, YOU promised her to fuck her. Not me,” he rectified, stretching his sore muscles.

“But it’s literally her fantasy. I-I-I.” Bucky threw his hands in the air. “Ok, you know what, I’m going to send you the screenshots of our convo and let you decide.”

Bucky tapped angrily on his screen and puffed. He put back his phone in his bag and left the room with little to no words.

Steve staid still, ignoring his phone. He took a few breaths to calm the small buzz below his skin. Once the phone stopped vibrating, he finally decided to give in. He should go to sleep and pretend nothing happened. He should put his phone back on the table and leave the room. He should…

Despite his resolved, he unlocked his phone and read the messages. All 10 of them. They went from descriptive to porn. Some had a plot and others were just about her being his “cum dump”.

It took him way more time register the words on the phone. She really…really wanted that. Steve bit his lips and rose to his feet. Before he could chicken out and go to his room, where his drunk wife was probably passed out, he walked to his stepdaughter room.

The air was unbearable. Every time Steve inhaled, he was unfairly attacked by a sweet carnal scent. Arousal and sweat. Steve closed the door behind him and pressed his back against the cool wood.

“What are you doing, Steve?” He asked himself. “You should go to your bed and forget about this crazy night.”

Instead, his body moved by itself. He slowly unbuttoned his shirt and pants, letting the silky material slide on the floor. He bent to take them and played with the material. Why was it so difficult? He sighed and folded his clothes. His boxers were next.

“That’s it,” he said to no one. “I’m really going to cross that line.”

He walked to the bed and slid under the cover. He laid there, still, eyes on the ceiling. Her breathing was shallow and rhythmic. He got lulled by it for a second. Until his arousal was hard to ignore. His hard cock stood proudly between his legs.

He took a deep breath, readying himself, and scooted toward her. He pushed her on her back and laid on her. She was still deeply sleeping.

“What am I doing?” he whispered, lost. He nudged her legs open and instinctively rocked his hips against hers. He hissed and moan as his cock slid between her lips. Wet noises could be heard even from under the cover. Steve accented his thrusted, pressing against the warmth and wetness.

“God, so good,” he moaned into her ears, before kissing her neck. He sucked and bit the appetizing relaxed tendon. His mind whirled around his pleasure and all his fears went through the window.

It was becoming unbearably hot under the cover. Steve threw them away, still thrusting. If he stopped…if he stopped…his mind shut down. Under the moon natural light, her body was ethereal. Even in his dreams he never could have imagined it.

Attracted by the brown areola, he leaned forward and took one nipple in his mouth. He grazed softly the hardening bead with his teeth. He tried to take more of her boob in his mouth and almost choke. Steve went back to sucking and licking until both her breasts was covered in his own saliva.

He started palming her boobs enjoying the weight. “What am I doing?” he asked again. He grabbed his dick and slapped her clit. He slid the tip of his dick on her hole and froze. He had forgotten the condom. He barely repressed a relieved sigh. Maybe it was his way out. He’d go out of the bed and realize how stupid he was. Yeah…that was a…

The body underneath moved, yet so slightly, but enough for his tip to enter her willing body. Steve’s mind shut down. Again. His instincts, needs and deeper feelings took over.

He finally let go.

He leaned forward and pushed into her. He wanted to be gentle…He wanted to take it slow…he swore it was true…but…she was too tight, to wet…he had wanted to do that for so…

He let out a screamed as he slammed into her. Her boobs jostled under the force. She was still sleeping. The dark side of Steve rejoiced in her stillness. He wanted her to wake up as he pounded into her. He wanted to see her wake up with his cum leaking from her hole and a certain ache…

He leaned down and muttered to her ears. “Such a good Baby girl. So good for Daddy.” If the words had sounded so surreal in his dreams, hearing himself pronouncing them made everything concrete. He was fucking his stepdaughter and she wanted him.

Steve’s eyes rolled as his greedy pleasure grew. “I’ll fuck you tomorrow, don’t worry.” He bit her lobe “One you wake up I’ll fuck you 6 ways till Sunday. I’ll fuck you in the car, on the table, in the garden for everyone to see…”

He grabbed her legs, bending them onto her chest and pounded deeper into her. His balls slapped against her ass. God…she took all of him.

He gazed at her in awe. His orgasm was near. He fastened the pace enjoying the contact of their hips. He’d let a bruise he was sure. She’d finally belong to him. Fuck…his balls were tight and heavy.

“Daddy’s going to cum into you. You like that don’t you?” Her walls spasmed against his hard shaft. He gave threw sharp thrusts and came. Deep inside. 

Fuck!

He fell onto her, not caring if he was too heavy. He wanted to enjoy her body a little bit longer.

It took him a few minutes to calm down and get his breathing under control. He kissed her sweaty face, rolled besides her and stood up. He took the time to cover her, but before palming her breasts a little longer.

Steve groaned at his indecisiveness.

Go, go now, his rational side screamed at him. You’ve done it, so go now.

She started moving in her sleep. She rolled onto her front and bend her right leg high. High enough for Steve to see his cum profusely dripping from her greedy hole.

He dropped his clothes and climbed back on the bed. He kissed her back, licking her spine. He slapped a few times her buttcheeks enjoying the roundness. He pressed two fingers in. Her eyebrows furrowed making him grin. A little more and she’d wake up. How would she react? Would she be thrilled that she finally got what she wanted or disgusted? No…definitely not disgusted. Her fantasies had been to wild and recurrent for her not to really want it.

The door creaked open. Steve pulled the cover over both of their body and laid flat on her. Why the fuck was Sylvie still awake? Steve felt the adrenaline pumping into his veins mixing with the overall arousal. In other words, he was hard as a rock and the hot body beneath didn’t help. His dick was perfectly nestled between her lips. A little more and he’d be inside of her.

He closed his eyes and grimaced under the torturous choice. Sylvie didn’t come in the room. She stayed at the doorframe. Steve couldn’t make up what she was saying, through all the blood rushing through his body.

Just a little…he thrusted forward and was easily welcomed into her tight pussy. He cussed under his breath, not really caring if Sylvie heard him. Even after being thoroughly pounded she was still tight. Steve dropped his head on her back, hands roaming her sides. He grabbed other leg and bent it. His dick slid deeper and deeper.

Steve’s carnal needs snapped. He bit her neck and started moving slowly. All that mattered was the warmth around him and the wet slid. He’d never leave her warmth.

Never.

That’s why it took him more times to realize that Sylvie has stopped talking. He barely moved when she pulled the cover, enough for the top of her stepdaughter’s head was visible. She leaned and kissed her.

“It’s a furnace under these covers. I don’t know how you can breathe,” she stated, pulling the rest of the cover. Steve’s breath halted. Fortunately, Sylvie’s phone rang, before she could see him. She groaned and left the room quickly.

Steve exhaled. His hips kept moving chasing some sort of relief. If he’d been on the edge before, he was now hyperaware. His nerves were on fire, his brain overstimulated.

Sylvie could have seen them. Sylvie could have seen balls deep inside her sleepy stepdaughter. Steve chuckled. He went on his hands and accelerated. His hips met her butt making the full globes bounce. His balls slapped her clit repeatedly.

He growled and tensed when she started moaning. He grabbed her hair in his fists and slammed into her. He didn’t even care if she woke up. All he wanted was to breed the hell out of her. The brief image of her heavily pregnant triggered his climax.

He choked on his saliva and trembled. His hips stuttered as his cum coated her walls. He snaked a hand to her clit and rubs furiously.

“Come one! Come on, cum,” he growled into her ear. “Show Daddy what a good girl you are.” 

A few seconds later and her whole body tensed and spasmed under him. He kept thrusting until he was sure her womb was full of his cum.

Steve whined and cried as he rubbed his callous hand over her belly.

“God, I’m fucked”, he sighed.

Final Part

[alexiaugustin]

pls give your honest opinions on eliola friendship / relationship 🤣

Okay so I think that most people already know that I'm not found of it at all so at the beginning I just wanna say that I do not hate it simply because I want to hate it and everything that happens on that show, but because I was thrilled and had high expectations when they first announced that they would have a brother- sister relationship this season. So everything I'm gonna say now isn't coming from a place of hate but complete and utter disappointment because that's what their storyline was. Also disclaimer; everything I'm gonna say isn't me hating the characters but me criticizing the writing and how the writing made both of them quite unsympathetic at times.

So let's begin with the first lola/eliott clip I ever really liked and that was their first meeting at the funeral. I just like how Eliott noticed that she was all alone and decided to talk to her because that's probably smth he wishes people would have done for him when he was lonely. I loved their bickering n how Eliott was the second person who made Lola genuinely smile that season and just like Maya he didn't let Lola's cold attitude throw him off. So being the naive clown I was I actually believed that they might do something good with them and that their storyline could live up to my expectations but oh hell no.

The opportunity of them getting closer n talking at the urbex party was right there and skam france just didn't use it. I actually thought that they would drop a clip after midnight as the first clip of ep3 where they would start making conversation because they were all hanging out with eachother anyway and then maybe start following eachother on instagram or smth. But no. Eliott and Lola meeting eachother at that urbex party wasn't there to develop their friendship and make them have a natural connection in the clips afterwards. Eliott being an urbex legend wasn't there to actually give his character more depth, it was just there so Eliott could lie to Lucas and Lola knowing about it so she could manipulate Eliott in ep8 but we're coming back to that plot later.

Well yeah wasted potential on that urbex party let's talk about the next party where they meet again: Daphné's birthday party. Again I know that it's a party and it's likely for people to just talk to everyone so I wouldn't say that Eliott and Lola talking there was coming out of nowhere. What did come out of nowhere tho, was their dialogue: "We're the same you and I" I'm sorry but first of all what teenager talks like that??? And second of all what exactly do you even know about eachother. Ah yeah right nothing because you never really talked to eachother before. I know that in interviews they have made up a whole background story as to why Eliott felt so cOnNeCtEd to her but none of this was ever brought up on screen so for me there's no explanation why he would say smth like that. Then the whole urbex lying to Lucas convo yada yada I pretend not to understand french and we're just gonna skip over that part of ep3 now. Next clip of the party Lola feels lonely and left out because Thierry acts like Daphné is his only daughter and for some reason Eliott looks @ Lola from across the room like that: [I'm to lazy to put a screenshot of the scene but y'all know the shot I'm talking about] and I remember the evening they dropped that clip and everyone was yelling and thinking that this look means that he's gonna fall in love with her. Yeah at best I would think that this looks like falling in love, at worst this look reminds me of Joe Goldberg. And I know that the scrip wasn't like: Eliott side eyes Lola like some penetrator from across the room but it really looked like that and it's the director's job to correct Maxence's acting because that really really wasn't it.

Next eliola clip is Lola going to Eliott's video shop. How she knew that he was working at that exact place at this exact time will forever stay a mystery. If only skam france would remember that they are a transmedia show and Eliott and Lola could have just texted after Daphné's birthday party??? But no she was just completely out of nowhere visiting him at his workplace and don't get me wrong the clip itself was good and them watching a movie together cute but I still wanna know where it suddenly came from. She didn't even seem to like him that much before so her going there when she wasn't feeling well just threw me off and I was like okayyyy whatever. It truly feels like they either deleted clips in between or forgot to upload some text messages.

Aymeric plot: I was kind of torn between liking the clip n disliking it because back when they dropped the clip I was just glad that Eliott got Lola out of there and I knew that he would bring her to his flat so she would feel safe but on the other hand I'm not a huge fan of this whole savior trope in general even tho I do get that it made sense for her to call him in that situation. But now that the season is over I don't even have to feel torn and can just say that I absolutely hate this whole storyline because they used sexual assault as a plot device so they wouldn't have to come up with some complex writing ideas to build up their friendship. So the next day skamfr acted like sexual assault isn't something traumatizing and never brought it up again it truly just existed so Eliott could play hero and Eliott and Lola could be friends. It was never brought up again not even in one single fucking conversation. How fun😑😑

I've said it before and I will say it again I will always hate that Lucas was allowed to have many friends and hang out with them whenever he wanted n be affectionate with them while Eliott's only friendship was actively written to cause problems in their relationship. I'm not even blaming Lucas' for his reactions this season because I'm sure that I would have reacted the same way if I were him but they could have just written the eliott/lola friendship in a decent way and left lucas out of it. It would have been really simple but instead they chose to make almost every Lola n Eliott interaction a problem between Lucas and Eliott and then they never even solved their relationship problems, not even off screen so that's truly a whole next level of skamfr being one hell of a stupid show.

Apart from that I really really liked the Saturday clips and they were the only clips I ever got sibling vibes from. Eliott being ready to run with Lola so she wouldn't have to face Daphné and Lola saying that she's gonna take responsibility and Eliott looking at her like a proud big brother> very cute also the way Eliott and Lola both got to speak for themselves about their mental health was one of my fave convos this season even tho- and call me a petty bitch for that- they even ruined that clip for me when Lola used everything Eliott told her in that clip against him later🙃🙃

The whole movie plot is ridiculous and I'm actually too tired to bring all of it up again so I'm just gonna say that Eliott asking a girl with zero acting experience and a crew with zero filming experience to shoot his uni project with him still has me laughing until today. No way in hell that this is something realistic to happen but #ohboy #nicetry for trying to sell that storyline. Eliott and Lola should have never kissed n they should have either changed the script to a friendship version of L&O for Lola and Eliott or let Maya take over Eliott's role when she showed up. This way it would have actually had a meaning for s6 and it would have made sense to end the season with a screening for that movie project. But what the hell was skamfr tryna tell us with that eliola kiss storyline?? The moral n the message where????

Ughhhh my favorite storyline: episode 8. Well I was gone over one weekend and this is the shit I came back home to. Let me tell you it really wasn't fun to watch these four clips in a row I literally had to pause the videos the entire time just to yell n question if I was hallucinating that shit. If their friendship wasn't written badly before then this was definitely the last straw for me. We all know what happened I'm not gonna explain it again let me just say that if I were Eliott I would have felt so damn betrayed and would have never just forgiven that shit in a week. Imagine trusting someone that much with your past and stories about your mental illness and relationship n even your relationship issues and all this person does is using everything you ever told them and even more (still wanna know how she knew abt the houseboat story) against you to manipulate you into drinking which then triggers you into a depressiv episode. Who wrote this and thought that we would still be rooting for this friendship?????

And well yeah that pretty much was it for the eliott/lola sIbLiNg storyline this season. Eliott didn't get to speak for himself about what happened and Lola only apologized for having called him and making him stay at the party but they never actually acknowledged what happened at that party and Eliott just took the blame n happy ending!!! They didn't even get one scene in the last clip together so that already shows us how the writers really didn't give a damn about their friendship this season and it solely existed to serve the mc and to get us to watch the new season n not because they actually cared and let's just say that one could really really notice that🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

[painandpleasure86]

Friends will be Friends - Fic Series “Deaky’s Diary” Chapter #2

Author’s note: Hi! January 26th I had a fic inspo with the same John from the fic I can’t live with you (but I can’t live without you) because of some words from Bri when some Japanese fans gave to Roger and him some gifts, and there haves one for John. This is mere imagination, but this is my realistic imagine about the reaction of John knowing that he will receive a present from his old bandmate...

Indeed this will be the second fic of a new series, “Deaky’s Diary”, where I’ll write the reaction that I imagine that John would have about certain sucesses around his life. I’ll actualize this when I think that’s necessary!

The reaction of him with the panic attack was inspired in the one described in one chapter of My life has been saved by @deakysgurl​

Perhaps my John it’s very smoker, but i’m inspiring in myself and my addiction to mate (a southamerican kind of tea, but with the effects of coffee).

Oh! This fic series will have a tag dedicated. Will be #deakysdiary. Follow it to know new chapters and related stuff!

Summary: The following week of his wedding anniversary he receive a couple of surprises that will touch his deepest feelings... and that made him take a decision.

Warning: slightly angst, mention of panic attack, some swearing, some friend-fluff (?)

Word count: +1.5k

Permanent taglist: @warriorteam1924​ (if you want to be in that list, send me a msg or ask)

“And there’s Deaky, we’ll have to make sure he gets that”

------

January 25th, 2020

After a week from his anniversary, this Saturday it’s quite normal. Waking up early, drink his necessary tea, smoked some cigarettes, took his medicines. Recharging his emotional batteries to hang on another day.

Knowing that his old bandmates were on tour with that kid named Adam made him felt some melancholy. Watching at the window, contemplating the horizon, remembering good times. Remembering the love that Japanese fans gave to him since his first visit in mid 70s. Remembering being in that TV program with Roger in 1984, where he entered with a gorilla head over his one and saying “number eight, hachi ” when he was asked to choose the prettiest guy between seven guys. Remembering knowing that Music Life dedicated an entire mag with his material in Japan in 2019.  He miss Japan a lot.

“Teo Torriate konomama iko, aisuruhito yo” he sung in a murmur, smiling like an idiot. Even crying. “Aisuruhito yo Japan… I couldn’t thank you enough for your love…” he continued, wiping away some tears, trying to smoke properly. That was his fourth cigarette in just a couple of hours. 

Still remembering good times, noticed that he had just one cigarette remaining in the packet. “Shit. I must to go to the kiosko to buy some cig. And with that, the annoying people trying to get an autograph or pic from me…”. Started to be pretty nervous just for thinking that, he started to breath more quickly. He rested his back in some kitchen mobiliary, his head was reclined, his left hand in his chest, his right hand with the cigarette. He was trying to calm him down, remembering the advice of his therapist. After a couple of minutes, he felt better. And called to his wife.

“RONNIEEEEEEEEEEE!”

She came to the kitchen quickly.

“What’s you need, hun?” she asked kindly.

He hates to be called “hun”, so he watched at her annoyed.

“Ugh John, for god’s sake!” she exclaimed, sighing. “Well, what’s you need? Oh, indeed, morning!” she greeted him with a kiss in his right cheek.

“Morning, lady”. He couldn’t resist to smile a little. “I need that you buy me some cigarette packets, y’know which ones” he said giving to her the money. Sighing, he added “I don’t want to deal with that people” watching directly to her eyes.

“Of course h- ehmmm John” she chuckled a little. “I’ll come back soon, don’t miss me!” she added going to the main door of the house. “And if some people asks for you, I’ll say that you’re sleeping!”

Smoking his last cigarette, he thought “well I’ll check the internet for some news, were some days without connecting”.

-------------------

He goes to his studio and turned on the PC. Expecting what’s up in the fandom. 

But he didn’t expected that. Saw the Bri’s posts and the screenshots of Roger’s instastories from the Queen exhibition, where they were remembering him. And he cried. “I miss you bunch of goofballs, I still love you… I’ll always thank you for understand me… and i should be there with you. Having fun. But without Freddie isn't the same. Sorry…”

Meanwhile he was wiping the tears of his eyes, Ronnie knocks softly the door.

“Come in!” exclaimed him.

She opened the door. After that she approximated to him.

“Well John, I bought like 4 packets of Marlboro Slim, were the 20 on-… What’s wrong dear?” she asked seeing the red eyes of her husband.

He responded “just remembering good old times with the guys, and they also were remembering me in social media. I-” blewed his nose with a tissue. “I need the cigarettes! Thank you hun, bye” he said quickly quitting the packets from the hands of his wife, while she was watching surprised. After that, she left the studio thinking “Christ, sometimes this man it’s so strange...”

Leaving three of the four packets over his desk,  opened the remaining quickly and smoked one cigarette. Reclining in his chair, exhalated the smoke , remembering when Roger stolen his cigarettes. “Haha, I miss you Meddows” said smiling.

-----------------------

January 26th, 2020

That morning he woke up thinking in the guys, “perhaps I could send a message to them, I miss to talk with them so bad… No. Better not. I’ll stay silent and just reading their mails as an approval.” he though meanwhile he was getting up of his bed. 

Make his ritual. Tea, pills, cig. He was daydreaming while he was smoking at the level that he forgot the boiling water.... But at least didn’t happened a disaster.

After that, he made the tea. Still thinking in send some message to the guys. Still refusing to do that. “They surely will want to meet me and I don’t know… they? To my house? Everyone will know.” he was thinking, sitting in a chair of the kitchen’s table.

Meanwhile he was quietly drinking his tea, the phone rang.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!”

Leaving the cup of tea in the kitchen’s table, he answered the call.

“Hello.”

A soft voice sound from the another side of the phone.

“Hi Deacy!”

John was surprised.

“BRIAN?! Why you’re calling me? I think that I told to you and Roger that you can only calls me in very extreme emergencies”, responded kinda angrily.

“I wanted to know how you are… we didn’t speak properly since a lot of time…we’re in Japan on tour…” responded the astrophysicist.

“Yeah Bri, I knew it…” he couldn’t resist to smile. “Thank you for remembering me lately…”

“Not only Roger and me, also Spike miss you… tonight in the soundcheck we had a technical problem and he said “surely if John would be here, that problem wouldn’t happened”

John can’t respond, smile and some tears want to be free. 

Sniffing, trying to sound serious, asked “Just for that Bri?” He was starting to starve for his cigarettes. But that where in the table, next to the cup of tea.

“No… Emmm you didn’t checked the internet already?”

“Eh… no. And last night I wasn’t online. Ronnie insisted that since last Saturday night, every saturday night it's time for cheesy movies” sighed rolling his eyes. 

Brian laughed a little. “Similar thing with Anita happens to me too… Husband thing.” Coming back to the convo, he added “well you don’t know, but Japanese fans gave to us something to you… you will have it soon”

Deaky was surprised.

“What’s that?”

Bri smiled again.

“Check the internet Deacy, or wait some weeks”.

John couldn’t hold the tears more time. He starts to cry. He haves a response for all his own questions that he made before that morning. He made a choice.

“Erm… Thank you…  for... calling me Brian!”

Brian was surprised for the mood change.

“I don’t understand you man, a few minutes ago you were complaining about this call!”

“But… I… I miss you! I also miss Roger.... and Spike… Please tell to them that I miss them and I love them so much. I... I love you too mate!”

“Please repeat that words again… they’re listening to you”.

Roger and Spike were listening all the calling but Brian didn’t told that to John to surprise him. 

John couldn’t reply properly. They could listen to the 68 years old man crying. After a moment, he could do it. “I miss you guys, I hope that you’re fine!”, were his words.

Roger replied “It’s mutual bud. We should meet!”

Spike added “We can made a BBQ… oh, shit Bri it’s vegan! Well, we’ll do some grilled vegetables to him, haha!” laughed the keyboardist.

Being emotional, John said “yeah! Call me soon to schedule that meeting! Will be in my home if you want”

The three screamed “yeaaaah!”

“Your wives are also invited!” added John.

“See ya soon man!” they said.  Brian turned off the speaker. “Very soon” whispered Brian. “Bye Deacy, have a nice day”, he added.

“Good… Night?” asked confused John because of the timezones.

“Yeah, here’s night. Well… early morning.”

“This is the Bri that I know” thought John meanwhile, smiling. “Good early morning then, haha” told him.

They hung up. And after a couple a minutes he realized that they will come back to his home. And that his tea was cold. “Stupid Bri and his calling” he exclaimed, meanwhile he was bringing the cup of tea to the microwave. 

Ronnie entered to the kitchen and listened that words from her husband.

“Brian… CALLED?!” she asked surprised.

That ask almost makes that his cup of tea falls to the floor.

“God, Ronnie, I had already enough surprises!” He put the cup of tea in the microwave to warm his beverage a little. “And morning”.

In the next weeks, the couple will receive in their big mansion some old friends and the new couples of their friends. They have a lot of things to speak. A lot of time to recover. A lot of hugs and laughs to give and receive. Remember a bit why they were friends. And that they will be friends, right till the end.

-----

Please reblog if you enjoyed it!! This is the way to make more visible my work. New chapters will come when I consider neccessary!

-Lily

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [Okay, so 'punishment' of cleaning everyone's rooms, like 1. you've been here a night, so how messy is anyone's gonna be 2. we're here for a long weekend vibe, does it need to be clean even as long as it is before you go, like? 3. you've left them alone without effectively any supervision when they being punished for canoodling, like alright lads lmao] Jimmy: What kind of bollocks paddy punishment is this? Jimmy: barely started and I've got 🚬 and 💰💰 Janis: the 'can't be arsed' variety Janis: nice Janis: only found some pocket change so far but saving the best rooms 'til last Jimmy: race you Jimmy: only need 💊 and 🥃 to have the ☠ full set Janis: alright, you're on Janis: what pills count though, important info, not agreeing if you're counting paracetamol, like Jimmy: You're the expert Janis: you what Jimmy: from 💀👑's shit stirring mouth to my ears Janis: she'll LOVE that you listen, I'm sure Jimmy: properly well trained, me Jimmy: go ahead and tweet that whenever you like, mate Janis: if you wanna make her jizz her pants, easier ways than using my feed for it Jimmy: yeah, that's TOTALLY what I want, obvs Janis: 🚬💰💊 and 🥃 first, I heard Janis: speaking of, how morally dubious is it to take Helena's meds? Jimmy: I'll keep the 🍫🍪🍬 I just found in my pockets, make it easier to fake that I'm pleased to see her Jimmy: reckon you're morally obligated to take 'em, Jesus is the only dickhead who saves Janis: 🐖 you, running through these halls Janis: I'll take 2, feeling generous, not greedy, unlike SOME Jimmy: Come get a 🍪 and save me from myself 😇🥇 Janis: if that's a nickname you wanna go with, I'll need 2, tah Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: 🐖💕 Janis: no, that's you Jimmy: I ain't the one with a 🍪 in each hand Janis: your pockets are just full, fatty Jimmy: Oi, I'm pleased to see you, Joanne Janis: not fooling me Janis: in on the secret, remember Jimmy: bit busy chucking water on Kieran's bed any road Janis: 😏 Janis: more like it Jimmy: I'll take my 🏆 full of 🥃 if you find owt Janis: I'll be SURE to let you know when I do 🤞🤞 Jimmy: you do owe me Jimmy: it were your fault it got taken off us Janis: How do you figure that? Jimmy: Who left it on top of the wardrobe for any dickhead to 👀? Janis: oh, where did you expect me to put it mid-performance? Jimmy: I wouldn't have let you sit on it if you'd left it where it were, not a kink Janis: 😂 you're DISGUSTING Jimmy: who's bed should I put this in? Jimmy: [a pic of the bra that I'm stealing from the OG convo] Janis: put it in Ben's Janis: his bird will lose her shit the hardest, be hilarious Jimmy: Which one's he? Janis: come find you and show you Janis: not actually told me what room you're in so Jimmy: do you wanna know? Janis: you mean am I having fun playing hide and seek? Jimmy: it's a valid question Janis: are you having fun then? Jimmy: Where's your answer? Janis: 🔍 Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: more fun than the bullshit activity they're all doing, no doubt Jimmy: There you go then, if you're happy, I'm happy, baby 💕 Janis: 🙄👏 Janis: screenshotted Jimmy: reckon we can do better than that if you ever find me, but alright Janis: long as it's not bragging about our crimes, can't be those idiots Jimmy: but what if our crime were fucking on 💀👑 or 💀#2 bunks? Janis: well, depending how graphic, that can definitely be posted, 'course Jimmy: only to her if it spares your 😳 Janis: Show me a point I've given a fuck Jimmy: You ain't talking to her and her receipt keeping minions, soz Janis: Exactly Jimmy: Where the fuck are you? Janis: was trying something, no cigar though Janis: you in their room then? one sec Jimmy: Go on, disappoint me, what couldn't you do? Janis: get in the teacher's rooms, they've got locks 😢 Jimmy: you can't break 'em? Hang on 💪🏆 Janis: [turns up and finds him, throwing whatever cigarettes and lighters she's found at him 'cookies, please'] Jimmy: [when he was gonna find her and vandalise the teacher's locks so they lowkey nearly bump into each other but he chucks the cookies at her before there's a #moment] Janis: [just nom-ing like there isn't a vibe, as per 'was saving their room 'til last, bet there's loads of rich girl shit'] Jimmy: [brushing a cookie crumb off her face with his thumb and then putting said thumb in his mouth to get said crumb 'gotta show me Ben's first'] Janis: [just stopping dead in your tracks for a hot sec there like you were stopping yourself running into his arm but that ain't why, nods 'he deserves it'] Jimmy: [we just walking so casually to this lad's room to fuck up his relationship lol] Janis: [soz not soz, whoever you are] Jimmy: [go and do #bragate and look through his shit lads] Janis: [the state these rooms gonna lowkey be in, so much worse than before] Jimmy: [I vote he should have some booze of some description so they have it when they go to Mia's room cos gonna be in there a while] Janis: [I concur] Jimmy: [when you shrug at her once you're done like anywhere we've missed cos should save hers til last] Janis: [points out the rooms she did so they can work out if they've missed any between 'em] Jimmy: [likewise tells her the ones he did and maybe they have missed one and there's nothing good but they can have an actual race to Mia's that she obviously wins] Janis: [😏 as we snooping with reckless abandon] Jimmy: [chucks some 🍬s at her with gold wrappers in place of a 🥇] Janis: ['you're buzzing to lose, remember' looks at the beds pointedly, then carries on going through their bags] Jimmy: [lights a 🚬 because fuck you ladies] Janis: ['what about me?' so #offended] Jimmy: [gives her a look like I didn't think you'd want one cos you're such an athlete but comes over and lights one for her, putting it in her mouth and everything cos always gotta be flirty about it] Janis: ['one ain't gonna get me as fucked as you, cute though, concern and that'] Jimmy: [makes a moment™ out of putting some of the ones they found into her pocket as well as his lighter that she was playing with before, not just a random spare and goes to lie down on the bottom bunk for a bit] Janis: [just leaves him be for a while, keeping busy over here, all casual, all fine, eventually, 'if you're going sleep, do your best to look cute so I can take some creepshots 'fore I piss off'] Jimmy: [just having his lil sulk cos he lost 'weren't the plan, that' and pats the bed beside him in his best attempt at creepy but then starts putting out all the shit he found to look through it] Janis: [best 😬 but goes over and adds her haul] Jimmy: [cracks open the booze whatever it is and takes a massive swig before passing it to her] Janis: [doing the same, throwing those two tablets out on the bed, like, offer is there 'she must be fucked up' shrugs 'decent shit'] Jimmy: [sharing everything else out like actual couple goals but leaving them cos he ain't that bitch] Janis: [when you ain't either so that's a #relief tbh] Jimmy: [lifts the pillow and puts them under cos that gal is gonna notice her meds are gone so might as well try and frame these bitches] Janis: [so into that it's not even funny lol] Jimmy: [then nudges her like which bed do you think is Mia's cos that's the one you wanna fake fuck on if you're doing only one] Janis: ['how's either of them getting up there, honestly' put gets up and peers for clues 'think this is Ella's, the PJs are negative sized, Mia wishes'] Jimmy: ['she wishes she were a top an' all'] Janis: ['so you are gay then' 😏] Jimmy: [😏 and chucks loads of 🍬🍫 up onto Ella's bed so either she'll be triggered or Mia will think they're hers and be mad or both] Janis: [gonna say you got some laxatives I'm flushing gals, along with pouring whatever expensive perfume/foundation etc down the loo, at least half of so you can't prove it 'cos it's not empty] Jimmy: [love that] Janis: [you both know you're delaying what you said you'd do though] Jimmy: [I'm literally sitting here thinking if there's a way we could let them actually hook up rn for the sheer #mood of it all without ruining everything lol] Janis: [like you could, and then pretend it didn't happen, maybe?] Jimmy: [that's what I'm thinking like if you both act like you're carried away by getting one over on Mia and drunker than you are, I just think it'd add to the weird dynamic and headfuck of it all if they did] Janis: [it's in character for her so if it is for him, we can] Jimmy: [like we know he wants to and would so as long as they both commit to acting like it didn't happen I think we can get away with it] Janis: [we doing it, gonna have to start talking if you're gonna get there though, lads] Jimmy: [lbr it'd we weirder if they didn't hook up at this point cos they always go too hard for the 'camera' and they don't have sod all clothes on yet again so they're gonna feel EVERYTHING when they're making out and dry humping all over each other, it'd literally only take something like that thing he does where he tries to say words and it comes out as a full moan to tip them over this precarious edge] Janis: [exactly, it only doesn't happen in this scenario if one of you is the type to say no for reasons or you don't actually fancy each other but you clearly do so] Jimmy: [we setting up both phones for all the angles as if you're not gonna forget about that immediately] Janis: ['least bottom bunk makes for #moodlighting, I guess'] Jimmy: ['more of a challenge to for us to break it though' because I remember in the OG convo they lowkey dismantled her bed and they should do that here because funnier] Janis: ['as long as you keep the top from squashing me with your giant head' we deffo should, a mood] Jimmy: [squishes her face like aw baby I will protect you, you small egg] Janis: [goes to smack his but as per, not actually lmao] Jimmy: [little playfight/pillow fight to get this tension going] Janis: [points if you can beat the stuffing out of these pillows] Jimmy: [you gotta lads and also leave your empty booze bottle hidden about in the hopes they get blamed for that too] Janis: [when neither of you are cool enough to party this hard, welcome for the rep boost hoes] Jimmy: [1000% living for the prospect of Mia getting in trouble with her dad though bye] Janis: [hahahahaaaaaha #disappointeddaddy] Jimmy: [that's a pisstaking # they need to use fr] Janis: [speaking of the socials, making sure there's Mia things in the background so you can start taking these shots like they bitch] Jimmy: [not actually stalling that time, it's genuinely important] Janis: [tis why we're here, currently, anyway] Jimmy: [crack on doing the most, you know you gotta go even harder than you did during the last photoshoot purely to annoy these hoes yep] Janis: [the level anything beyond making out/lovebites is unpostable, like do you need all these angles and different poses? nope but here we are] Jimmy: [like even if you just DMed them to her to ruin her ability to sleep in that bed you still don't need to go this hard lads] Janis: [could let her do the legwork lmao, we see you] Jimmy: [I love you two and your flimsy excuses so much] Janis: [hence this is so stretch] Janis: *NO Jimmy: [imagine if he'd fake dated some gal who literally only wanted to do the bare minimum] Janis: [an actual prude or the one girl that didn't fancy him] Jimmy: [he thought Janis didn't for a bit there LOL] Janis: [she got eyes honey] Jimmy: [LORD the eye contact rn don't even] Janis: [looking away when you literally cannot and ruining a shot or something neither of you actually care about but] Jimmy: [and kissing when you also cannot so your eyes get to be closed because you're not psychos] Janis: [literally running out of skin for lovebites] Jimmy: [hence you gotta hardcore make out and once you start you can't stop] Janis: [away we go] Jimmy: [this is simultaneously the best and worst idea lads, love it] Janis: [knocking those phones down 'cos do not need that in your life, even if we pretending this is that spontaneous] Jimmy: [accidentally recording their first time that they are gonna pretend didn't happen is not the one] Janis: [because Rio is your sister, purely, which is why she said no to being in the ad 'cos she thought he was being a dick and everyone else would] Jimmy: [I didn't even think about that in relation to the ad, oh boo you so smart] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [if you two have been shook by how into each other you are, just you wait until after this 🔥 first time] Janis: [have fun downplaying this lmao] Jimmy: [god it's gonna be so awkward, at least we can have a teacher show up to take them to the next activity whenever we need] Janis: [when you can't separate 'cos the image but you can tell you being more distant and actually fake] Jimmy: [the next activity was trust falls and a blindfolded assault course which I think we should still do but we should do it different by saying they aren't allowed to work together for it cos bad eggs which they would hate despite the awks cos they both have trust issues and would be shamelessly jealous of the boy and girl the other is doing it with] Jimmy: [plus it makes more sense for the next bit cos in the OG they just went back on it later when nobody else was about and like he challenged her to do it better cos she was the blindfolded one I think and that's how she twisted her ankle which led to the fake injury but if they weren't allowed to do it together then it's more logical that all that would happen] Janis: [well done boo, fully approve] Jimmy: [yeah she was all like I could do it by myself I don't need you which can still be a thing but there's even more of a vibe this way] Janis: [a mood, lord knows who you're having to do this with first time around] Jimmy: [I think she should have to do it with Ben whoever he is for the lols] Janis: [oh ben, as long as your gf doesn't think it's her bra 'cos lmao] Jimmy: [we should give him Asia since they didn't do that project together this time] Janis: [she will probably drop you god speed] Jimmy: [we should say she does so Janis has to be all #concerned which is awks after what just happened] Janis: [after #caring for him] Janis: memorize that course before you do it Janis: no chance she knows left from right Jimmy: I ain't that thick, tah, I'll make her be the one to do it Janis: revenge, right Jimmy: you're alright, in well safe hands, you Janis: yeah, his girlfriend is neurotic, had practice Jimmy: safe hands til she gets hers on you then Janis: if I have to threaten to smack her too, I will Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: just don't wanna be dropped on my arse like you Jimmy: I get it, ain't gonna be a soft landing Janis: just don't like looking like a twat Jimmy: you'll look well fit and mysterious in that blindfold, mate, TOTALLY on brand Janis: obvious kink but alright Jimmy: long as it ain't Ben's Jimmy: 🐇🔪🍳 Janis: if it is she'll be blind too tryna win back his attention, not concerned Jimmy: 👍 Janis: need some 🧊? Jimmy: can only give me the cold shoulder on your own time, Judith Janis: haha Jimmy: hang in there, baby Jimmy: 😂 so you don't 😭 Janis: be able to hide 'em behind the mask Janis: your 'look' makes sense now Jimmy: Busted Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: you're gonna keep my secret? SO romantic that Jimmy: my trust has been fully restored, like Janis: not very goals Janis: you crying all the time Jimmy: works for sir Jimmy: he's having one now Janis: Ben's very capable and we're all feeling a type of way about it Jimmy: Capable of getting you sent to sick bay in some weird accident they'll use to warn dickheads not to piss about on school trips Jimmy: won't dry my eyes so I look 💔 Janis: I get it, you're feeling sore Janis: 🍑hurt Jimmy: I get it, you're the only one who's allowed to make me feel like that Jimmy: you're alright, I'll fake that I ain't Jimmy: we'll still be #goals Janis: bit late for that Jimmy: 💪🏆 me Janis: not with that braindeadweight Jimmy: Challenge accepted, sweetheart Janis: unless the race is to first aid, you've got no chance Jimmy: that's you Jimmy: but Ill let you wear my 🥇 if you ask nicely Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 🙄 even less chance of that Jimmy: 💔🎻 Janis: poor boy Jimmy: Alright Mia, have you know I found loads of 💰 a bit ago Janis: shared it with me Janis: you ain't heard how the rich stay rich? Jimmy: I ain't afraid to pull my weight Jimmy: or teach you owt you don't know Jimmy: and you still ain't sorted out how to do cute so Janis: fuck off haven't I Jimmy: Have you? Jimmy: Don't count if you're using it on Ben Janis: not my fault they separated us Jimmy: how do you work that out? Janis: don't start again Janis: we both got in trouble that was the point Jimmy: Or what? You'll piss off with Ben to first aid Jimmy: crack on Janis: yeah, obviously Janis: this is stupid, you said you didn't care about getting in trouble, so don't moan at me now Jimmy: you said you didn't either so take your share of the blame, dickhead Jimmy: weren't being 😎🥇 on my own Janis: how am I not? Janis: you're trying to put it all on me for no reason Jimmy: nowt's your fault, you just said Jimmy: 😇 you Janis: that ain't what I said Jimmy: what I read Janis: whatever Janis: fact remains there's no time to be cute right now Jimmy: [does something cute to prove the point that there always is] Janis: go away Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: very cute Jimmy: you're right, you're smashing it Janis: there's no need Jimmy: don't sound like a cop out at all, that Janis: what, what do you want me to do Janis: because they chase around after boys, and that's sad, not goals Janis: I'm doing my part right Jimmy: nowt to get worked up about then, is there? Jimmy: sort yourself out, girl Janis: literally do one Jimmy: LITERALLY stop crying, meant to be on brand for me, not you Janis: [you need to ignore him gal] Jimmy: [take a time out Jimothy, we know why you're being a dickhead but it's still rude] Janis: [oh the drama] Jimmy: [do your best to get Asia round this course, we know it's gonna be a shitshow] Janis: [oh gal] Jimmy: [we should say they go back on their own when everyone's on lunch, it makes sense] Janis: [we gonna need to propose that but yes] Jimmy: [gotta be alone for that dramaaaaa] Janis: [wandering off 'cos cannot be bothered to do this lunch moment right now] Jimmy: ? Janis: can have a 🚽break, can't we Jimmy: long as you do it before so 💀👑 don't get her hopes up that you're joining the ranks Janis: don't need to, do I Janis: why you think she hates me Jimmy: I'm going for a 🚬 then, come find me if you wanna go in Janis: don't you need bed rest Jimmy: bit rude for a come on Jimmy: don't really get me going if you slag off my stamina Janis: it's a, let's not go in, plea, if anything Janis: say what you want for mine, I can't be arsed yet Janis: stressful enough training Ben for the past, however long Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: come have a 🚬 Janis: alright Jimmy: you not hungry? Janis: nah Janis: we eat loads Janis: 🍬🍫🍪 Jimmy: No need to go in then Janis: you can, if you are Janis: say I'm sick or sleeping or some other cute bollocks Jimmy: You're alright, already had my dose of ☠ Jimmy: wouldn't wanna 💀💀💀 without you by my side Janis: Obviously Janis: or in this dump Jimmy: unless it were on that assault course Jimmy: get everyone right in the shit Janis: good idea Janis: go back and I'll finish the job she half-arsed Jimmy: you admitting you ain't got me well trained either? Jimmy: nowt to worry about, I'll keep that secret with my dying breath Janis: didn't get chance, did I Jimmy: you're saying 💀💀💀 job done but if you were 🥇 I'd be in the safest hands going, wouldn't I? Janis: I could Janis: but maybe I want you to lay down in the dirt and 💀💀💀 Jimmy: Stop flirting with me Janis: you wish Jimmy: for 💀💀💀? Duh Janis: then go on then Janis: find a blindfold substitute Jimmy: always trying to get my clothes off, you Janis: maybe it makes you more interesting Jimmy: you waiting for me to disagree or what? Janis: dunno if bighead or 💔 Jimmy: while you're pissing about 🤔 I'm actually waiting for you here Janis: awh Janis: one of us has to, babe Janis: hold on Jimmy: funny and clever, fuck me, full package you are, girl Janis: DUH Janis: closest you're gonna get Janis: didn't know people as thick as Asia genuinely existed Jimmy: modest an' all Jimmy: her parents must be northern, giving her a name like that is a dead giveaway Janis: guess what her sisters are called Jimmy: Arabia and Altrincham, obvs Janis: truly not that far off Janis: America, another continent kinda, alright, then they realize they've run out so China Janis: 🎻 she'll have such a complex that one Jimmy: 💔 their last name ain't White Janis: 😏 Janis: [show up from wherever you've been freaking] Jimmy: [lights her a 🚬 cos she said she wanted one] Janis: [smoking that as we walk to this assault course] Jimmy: [keeping it casual and not at all awkward] Janis: [the vibe] Jimmy: [get to this assault course and immediately start messing about boy cos you're so 💪 obvs] Janis: [🙄 but using this 🚬 as an excuse to sit and 👀 on the low] Jimmy: [when you come and sit by her after a bit but that not close because you obviously are so unbothered] Janis: [shakes head 'stamina, who?'] Jimmy: [push her cos 1. oi 2. you have a go then] Janis: [gesturing to her cigarette like excuse me 'such a slave driver, you'] Jimmy: [takes it off her and takes a drag like well you've got no excuse now] Janis: [ugh-ing about it but going, without the blindfold moment first] Jimmy: [👀 shamelessly] Janis: [doing it backwards 'cos show-off like see, so easy] Jimmy: [such a sarcastic slow clap 'close your eyes and have a crack at it'] Janis: [🖕 'I remember being the one who did it well the first time, not you' ] Jimmy: ['weren't the fastest though, were you?' a fake sympathetic face cos at least Asia was one of the worst so like they fucked up the best #soreloserlogic] Janis: ['only because Sam and Lewis are so close they're like telepathic, not fair'] Jimmy: ['first place or nowt, baby' cos he's pretending that he's so fine with the nowt because Asia just to wind Janis up like she's yet again crying] Janis: ['for you, maybe' L on the forehead moment] Jimmy: ['don't need telepathy to know you're -' 💔 mime 'and they ain't about now, what's your next excuse gonna be?'] Janis: [just doing this like fuck you boy] Jimmy: [putting a timer on his phone and waving said phone at her] Janis: [that phone lowkey your enemy, so shaming you have to fall al soz about that] Jimmy: [when you're so genuinely scared that she might be hurt that you can't be a dick about it and literally rush over to help her up] Janis: [we are so fuming boy watch out] Jimmy: [just looking at her like ARE YOU OKAY TELL ME because very concerned] Janis: [when you're so stubborn and 😤 just hobbling away like no good day] Jimmy: [catching up to her easily obvs and trying to force her to lean on you for support/ go sit for a sec] Janis: ['I'm fine!'] Jimmy: ['stop being a dickhead, you'll fall again'] Janis: ['I wasn't being a dickhead, that's you'] Jimmy: ['you are now' helping her whether she likes it or not] Janis: ['don't talk to me'] Jimmy: [picks her up and takes her to where they were sitting before without saying a word of course and puts her leg up on him because you're meant to elevate it] Janis: [just grumbling about how ridiculous this is, but mostly to self] Jimmy: [just giving her time to calm down cos obvs he's gonna take her back but not til she's ready cos they might have to see people] Janis: [give you some time gal, then you just sat there pouting but not as seething] Jimmy: [taking her shoe off for her really gently because you don't know how much it hurts or not/if it's gonna swell up and you know she's not gonna tell you how bad it is or isn't] Janis: ['alright, perv' but we winced a bit so you know it does hurt some] Jimmy: [😏 but his 👀 are worried] Janis: ['at least I don't have to do any more activities' but low-key annoyed about that like why am I here lmao] Jimmy: ['they'd have to let me help you, if you insisted you did wanna do 'em' because same vibe as when they talked him back onto activities after they sent him to his room, we know what teachers be like 'could be very goals'] Janis: [shrugs 'guess so' leaning forward to inspect your foot yourself 'you just don't wanna be left alone with Asia'] Jimmy: [playfully nudges her but we all know it turns into that feelsy lean they do] Janis: [letting it be but you are the one to shrug him off 'it's not that bad' sighs 'no excuse to talk to Mia's dad, still'] Jimmy: [can't help a little genuine amused smile 'have to fake it's loads worse' when you're joking for the benefit of Mia's dad rn but that is what they're gonna do lol] Janis: ['why not? LOVE sympathy, like'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like are you serious or nah cos we could] Janis: [we thinking about the potential benefits here like hmm 'taking away attention for #2 has it's appeal, sure'] Jimmy: ['and I can do sympathy in a way you'll like' when that sounds way saucier than you meant it to] Janis: [lols like that is purely bants and such a horrific prospect you haven't even considered it at all seriously 'I won't like it, but they'd LOVE it, so it's worth doing'] Jimmy: [shrugs like that's what you meant anyway] Janis: [shrugs back like you suggested it don't get moody with me] Jimmy: [shakes his head because he's not and he doesn't wanna fight with her rn but then picks her back up and carries her away before she can potentially pick a fight, only stopping when they get back to be like gesturing with his head do you wanna go in the direction of the lunch room and put on a show IRL or the sickbay to put on a show via posts on socials or her room to do none of those things] Janis: [gesture for the sickbay, 'cos it's more dramatic and you still don't wanna go do the lunch room rn for all the reasons] Jimmy: [we taking her and getting her some ice with a playful look because of how she took the piss out of him saying he needed some earlier] Janis: [grump 😒] Jimmy: [when you can actually do the pouty lip kiss thing for the first time because we gotta do socials posts] Janis: [when that's too much of a mood] Jimmy: [we're all dying and wanting to die] Janis: [doing it again purely 'cos you mad, not so he has to do that again, nah] Jimmy: [does do it again though because that hook up was no time ago and we're very much not over it] Janis: [I highly doubt there's a nurse, just someone who comes to do your first aid then bounces so you know, get into it] Jimmy: [fully just having a makeout sesh that you literally have no excuse for] Janis: [we need to, tbh] Jimmy: [I'm loling because it reminds me of when Ali twisted her ankle going up the mountain cos she was so 😍 for Carly especially because of all the posts he's gonna do on socials to milk this, suck it Ella, nobody cares that you got 'hurt']] Janis: [lmao, it is like that, soz you can't regale us like a cringe mum 'cos not on them good terms currently even though you'd all be slightly better 'cos your mum really held it down for all y'all soooo, yeah not even Mia cares, HOW MUCH DOES THAT HURT] Jimmy: [at least Janis can let Jimothy do all the work posting cos you so injured babe and he can be busy with that so y'all don't hook up again] Jimmy: [though would make lol if you two went insta live from sick bay] Janis: [Q&A 'bout the situation lmao go off] Jimmy: [everyone has a million questions about your everything rn we know] Janis: [and we need to feel like we back on top of faking this, right] Jimmy: [mhmmm] Janis: [going through her phone beforehand to see if there's any burning Qs] Jimmy: [when you just chuck her yours cos cba and also got that trust™] Janis: [🙄 'you do your share of the work, yeah?' 😏] Jimmy: [🙄 but you hold your hand out for your phone back cos #whipped] Janis: [shakes head, shows him Ben's girlfriend popping off 'cos that bitch like LOL] Jimmy: [pats her on the back IRL like good job babe cos genuinely amused] Janis: ['gutted I ain't gonna get him without a fight, obviously'] Jimmy: ['if you can't take her on with one good leg, you don't deserve him'] Janis: [😲 'how dare you'] Jimmy: ['I dare 'cause I don't give a shit, remember'  yeah okay Jimothy we know you're a rebel without a cause calm down 'nowt's too much trouble'] Janis: ['put it on your business card you now know how to make'] Jimmy: [😏 'nice bit of labour red font, and what do you know, colour of blood an' all, proper on brand that'] Janis: ['have to try again if you want to draw blood, bastard'] Jimmy: ['and you'll have to ask nicer if you want me to join your ranks, vampire girl'] Janis: ['think not, hot topic'] Jimmy: ['What the fuck is hot topic?' he's genuinely like ?] Janis: [😂 and not telling him like look it up and feel the burn on your own time, boy] Jimmy: [poking her which turns to tickling her like tell me] Janis: [shall never even if we reinjure ourselves rn] Jimmy: [casually a good place to start the stream though like oh are we live already oops we're just here living our best lives] Janis: [having a better time than all of y'all always] Jimmy: [making sure to lowkey be nursing her through this stream cos she's oh so injured and he's oh so attentive #hoesbejealous] Janis: [fight every instinct you have girl, pretend you loving it and be SO appreciative] Jimmy: [we making it look so casual like oh lemme prop your ankle up a little more, lemme get you another pillow for your head, lemme get you some water, no it's okay you answer this question brb] Janis: [#anatural because you raising your siblings that's the tea, LOVE to know how these questions are going] Jimmy: [that is the tea even if she's lowkey like why's he so good at this the weirdo #kinks] Jimmy: [but we know this is going brilliantly cos they are both funny fucks and bringing the chemistry] Janis: [yeah you have no idea beyond how he portrays himself as being so good at all this stuff and you can't question that without outing yourself so you shan't obvs] Janis: [probably a solid mix of bitchiness and perviness tbh] Jimmy: [when lunch can't last forever and you have to decide if you're going to whatever the afternoon activity is or if just he's going and she's staying there or you're staying together or what] Janis: [I say she better stay so it seems legit but you should go and pine sir] Jimmy: [not even fake we 👀 you boy] Janis: 🤞 you get teamed with someone with two braincells this time Jimmy: you'd have to cross more than that Jimmy: nowt but idiots about round here Janis: you and her are soulmates Janis: A* couple Jimmy: Tah, I'll get in her DMs and let her know you reckon so Janis: go for it Janis: honestly, probably the only thing that'll deter her Janis: inability to fuck me over 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: Woe's you is the #mood over here, mate Jimmy: 🏆 for staying on brand Janis: so you're gonna fatally wound me and then take the piss? nah Jimmy: if I were gonna fatally wound you, you'd be 💀💀💀 Jimmy: didn't push you off or owt Janis: be nice to me to their faces at least Janis: story change so quick Jimmy: [does some extra post about how much he misses her etc] Jimmy: alright? Janis: 👍 Janis: 🏆 for staying on brand Jimmy: not a challenge for me Janis: so you keep saying Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: meaning I should ask you that Janis: they eat up that live Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Whatever Janis: next week or whenever you can pick someone else to do it with Jimmy: What are you on about? Janis: if you reckon I'm so shit at it Jimmy: I never said Janis: you say it all the time, boy Jimmy: steady on Jimmy: you did alright, there's nowt to get a mard on over Janis: whatever, like I said Jimmy: What? Janis: what? Janis: what are you doing, anyway? Jimmy: I'm asking you what's the matter, nowt else til you've answered that, like Janis: nothing's the matter Janis: just don't know why you have to talk to me like such a dick all the time Jimmy: I'm a dickhead Janis: yeah Jimmy: What do you want me to talk to you like? Janis: literally just like we both have a stake in this plan and that we're both doing shit about it, nothing more or less Jimmy: okay Janis: alright then Jimmy: I'm fed up of this bollocks, cover me Janis: 👍 no fucker is coming back here to check on me so Jimmy: just me if anyone @'s you Janis: yeah, sure Janis: no doubt assuming at this point, idiots, like you said Jimmy: I'd chuck 'em all 🏆🏆🏆🏆 for giving us such a hand but I'd be there ages Janis: generosity has to know some bounds Janis: or it'll just get weird Jimmy: right Janis: anyway, you need any more 🚬 Janis: got loads now Jimmy: don't you need 'em? Janis: nah, not a smoker Jimmy: I'll come pick up 'em when I do you then Janis: literally this time or Jimmy: can't get back on your own, delicate little lass like you who's walking wounded an' all Jimmy: what kind of fake boyfriend would I be Janis: ugh Janis: suppose so Jimmy: I get it, you're fed up of this bollocks yourself Jimmy: should've put 💰 on you not staying put in that bed for nowt Janis: you didn't wanna stay in bed either when they sent you out, if I recall Jimmy: I weren't in pain but alright Jimmy: you said no fucker's coming to check, come with me if you want Jimmy: I reckon I might 🔓 the teacher's rooms Janis: I'm putting it on, remember but 🤫 Janis: yeah? Jimmy: funny that, I were putting my 💔 on at getting sent out Jimmy: heard you were such an athlete, reckon you've got it in you to hop over and meet us or what? Janis: 😱 no way! you're SUCH a social butterfly though Janis: 🐇 on the brain, new boy Jimmy: 🦘🥊 Jimmy: so 💪🏆🥇 you Janis: don't need to compliment me, it was my idea, obviously coming Jimmy: How were it your idea? I just had it Janis: 'scuse you Jimmy: you Jimmy: nicking my 🥇💡 Janis: such a wind-up Jimmy: that's you an' all Janis: 😒 Janis: ignoring you Jimmy: be my #ultimategoals if any lass could Janis: if you talked more, they'd get over it faster, I reckon Jimmy: if they let me get a word in, I might do Janis: that's what they want, mute hot boyfriend Jimmy: 💔 for 'em that my brother's only a kid and got a fair shout not growing up to look like me Janis: you joke now Jimmy: do I? Janis: 🤡 Jimmy: don't forget the 🔪🩸 Janis: brother ain't got a yellow mac, has he Jimmy: did do when he were a bit younger Jimmy: and he loves pissing about with a bit of paper Jimmy: ain't hard to make a ⛵ Janis: just don't let him go out in a torrential downpour like a fucking idiot then Jimmy: he's scared of 🎈 any road and going fucking anywhere without me Jimmy: be alright Janis: cute or annoying? Jimmy: How would I know? Jimmy: obvs a shit judge of character if I'm not 😍😍🤤 for 💀👑 Janis: or you cba to deal with her for a bigger tip than the one you get as is Janis: replaces minions with some frequency so, reconsider, babe Jimmy: about as much chance getting a tip off her as she does getting me to put even the tip in her Jimmy: done a crazy ex, and she ain't rich enough to make me reconsider having another go at it Janis: that's not a 😍😍🤤 mental image Jimmy: soz Janis: should be Janis: what kind of fake boyfriend Jimmy: [shows up to help her on this very short stroll to where the teacher's rooms which he absolutely doesn't need to do cos he's that kind of fake bf] Janis: ['what do you reckon Mr. Lucas deemed essential for this trip?' we chatting and walking] Jimmy: ['Old school porn mags about virgin school girls' because we treating him as so old he can't work the internet] Janis: [shudders 'too real' he has been there since gen 2 so in their minds you that old lol] Jimmy: [nudges her but then does the OTT catching her thing like obvs she's gonna fall just from that cos so injured] Janis: [more of a push than a nudge 'cos perfectly capable, tah] Jimmy: [we all know you just wanna touch her boy but takes a dramatic step back like okay then cos she was probably leaning on him at least a little bit] Janis: [😒 but striding out like fine] Jimmy: [takes a 🚬 from behind his ear cos #mood] Janis: [making this injury so much worse than it needs to be is the #mood here for you] Jimmy: [when you offer her the 🚬 after a bit cos sharing is caring even though you have loads now and don't need to share remotely] Janis: ['downgrade noted' miming 💔 but taking it like 😏] Jimmy: [we know you just wanted the excuse of passing it back and forth to walk closer to her again instead of hanging back] Janis: ['bet Ms Burke has bare booze an' all'] Jimmy: [irl 🤞 cos what you found earlier is long gone and they've probably drunk what they confiscated off you if it was better than what they brought #tahIan] Janis: [coming through for the teachers at least] Jimmy: [and he will be annoyed Jimothy took it in the first place so mission accomplished there 'looks like she put a fair bit of it away, better crack on before there's nowt left' and picking her up like you're taking ages gal but shamelessly just wanna] Janis: ['you've got a blatant kink' when you meant to sound pisstakey but deny it's not a mood so you end up sounded flirty anyway] Jimmy: ['it's only blatant if you keep tweeting about it' because we've gotta bring it back to fake or we'll die/do something we shouldn't] Janis: [looks down at herself being carried, like, 👌 but drops it 'so you finally admit you don't do everything'] Jimmy: [looks at her ankle 'be the size of your head if I don't, gotta admit that, you'] Janis: [shrugs like it doesn't matter as if the only thing that keeps you sane isn't running and other exercise] Jimmy: [shrugs back like he doesn't know that, at least on some level cos how sporty you are] Janis: [jumping down literally as soon as you can 'cos awkward and looking at him like 'impress me then'] Jimmy: [automatically steadies her when she jumps down because such a big brother but then we're cracking onto this breaking and entering cos wouldn't be that hard it's not exactly state of the art] Janis: [we just gotta kick it open and deal with the fact they'll probably assume it's you two] Jimmy: [they both wanna get in trouble it's fine] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [kill some time looking through all their shit lads] Jimmy: [I like to imagine you both pissing about with the ugly teacher clothes too] Janis: [100%, and dragging their lives based on even the flimsiest of evidence 'cos fuck the police] Jimmy: [when you're having such a lovely time you don't even drink yet cos you don't need to] Janis: [we need to fuck with Mr. Lucas' stuff the hardest like actually go too far, so that he will remember, 'cos any other teacher, even if they're like 'you'll be in trouble when we get back!' would forget after 3-weeks, but he needs to remember so we can be straight in that detention moment after] Jimmy: [10000% approve of that because he's gotta become their nemesis] Janis: [actually shady we not just joking fully here] Jimmy: [mhmm it'll give you something else to bond over cos you're casually becoming friends and falling in love during this bit which would be a fantastic montage] Janis: [true tea, we can always use detentions to our advantage so why not, it's community service lite] Jimmy: [is there anything else we wanna have happen before the activity time finishes and he carries her into dinner and gets her food for her and everyone dies about it?] Janis: [unless we're gonna hit 'em with another #moment] Jimmy: [you know I wanna cos I'm that bitch but is it too #risky?] Janis: [nah 'cos they can hear something/someone and have to literally bolt 'cos teachers room] Janis: [then she'll need carrying legit 'cos running is not the one rn but have to] Jimmy: [that's such a mood like it's the equivalent of running and handholding but even cuter bye, try not to die because you're so in love rn kids] Janis: [so we kissing and not getting a phone out before this, just so we remember] Jimmy: [cos god knows I might not be allowed to write it in tags 😒 but important q is who initiated it?] Janis: [hmm, can be her] Jimmy: [okay go have your coupley dinner moment lads, they can't stop you sitting together now she's an invalid] Janis: [make him feed you so then you can feed him in a suggestive manner, they'll literally be fuming and starving at that] Jimmy: [god bless, and thank god you can kiss as much as you want rn cos you'd be fuming you got interrupted] Janis: [and you can go some 'cos doing the most to be the most so enjoy that] Jimmy: [we know that's the mood you're in rn lads and the teachers are already sick of you so who cares if they're bothered] Janis: [or anyone else like who do either of you like, so fuck 'em] Jimmy: [and it lends itself nicely to the vibe of putting on a show for whichever of the flatwhites are in your room afterwards because that still needs to be a thing] Janis: [we can separate them for a bit before that if you want though?] Jimmy: [why not, amp up the tension and sexy mood a bit further lol] Janis: [my thoughts exactly] Jimmy: [like we know he's fake nursing her again but the #mood is a very different one to the cuteness of sick bay earlier so] Janis: [yeah, clearly it's a sit-down type activity so you can't insist you need to work together now] Jimmy: [I dread to think what boring bollocks] Janis: 💤 Jimmy: 😎🔨 Janis: 😶 🦷🦷🩸🩸🩸 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: you'd have more intrigue, I reckon Jimmy: work hard not to look my 45 years though, don't I? Janis: you haven't had enough fake compliments? Janis: yes, so youthful, not a day over 38 😘 Jimmy: just saying it might look less like I were hiding my crow's feet and more like I were keeping it to myself that a bird pulled 'em out Jimmy: and how am I gonna do 😍 with 🚫👀 Janis: have to 🖐 Jimmy: [signs some fake compliments at her which we know aren't that fake] Janis: not what I meant but even without 👀 you have a better chance than me of getting it right Jimmy: I know you meant 🖕 but it'd have the fans in an uproar, Jasmine, think on Janis: I meant feel faces, you dick, not so un-PC that I don't know the difference between 😎 and 🔇 tah Janis: I'm keeping it goals here Jimmy: [comes over and shamelessly touches her face and hair in such a suggestive manner like 1. you meant like this yeah, I'm just getting my practice in 2. I'm keeping it goals too] Janis: still 😍 Jimmy: There you go then Jimmy: crisis averted Janis: get the ✂️ Jimmy: [we casually sending her doodles of all the ways they could die rn, starring adorable cartoon JJ's] Janis: such a dreamer, you 💘 Jimmy: romantic was taken by you Janis: obviously Janis: ask anyone Jimmy: had the Q&A a bit ago, babe Jimmy: you hit your head an' all? Janis: who was funny taken by, like? Jimmy: Ben's missus Janis: true Janis: shame Ben has a head like a turnip or I'd break them up for real Jimmy: that'll be why I said it, don't lie to mine, do I? Jimmy: don't have to get with him to do that Jimmy: I'll crack on to his soon to be ex Janis: if you think 🏉 heads are better Jimmy: Tah for the head's up, I won't feel hers Janis: lowkey got braille going on Janis: but you don't fake owe me that Jimmy: be a right laugh Jimmy: why wouldn't I? Janis: make you her next victim, probably why not Jimmy: I get it, you wanna be the one to 💀💀💀 me Jimmy: Alright, Jules, I'll steer clear Janis: that's the deal Jimmy: 🖋🩸 Janis: tempting Janis: jazz up this project Jimmy: Hang on, I'll open up a vein for you Jimmy: what could be more #goals? Janis: next Q&A, babe Jimmy: 👌 Janis: torture kink confirmed for Lucas 😩 Jimmy: nowt we weren't in the know about ages ago Janis: this is bold though Jimmy: you could boldly go back to sick bay Jimmy: they don't know you didn't hit your head, and one that size the headache would be 💀💀💀 Janis: no more fun that, is it Janis: may as well be bored here Jimmy: Depends Janis: I checked, the meds are shit Jimmy: but what Ms Burke uses to self medicate weren't that bad Jimmy: no 🍾 like, but you'd be alright Janis: I'm not as 😢 as her Janis: trying to get me drunk is a choice though Jimmy: right little ☀ you Jimmy: I'm trying to stop you whinging Janis: 'cos you're loving life Jimmy: no dickhead is, that'd be the point Janis: so 🤐 like it's a me problem Jimmy: I never said it were Janis: you was whinging bout it Janis: your table well interesting, yeah? Jimmy: You've got an excuse to do one, someone'd stop me before I smacked my head into the desk enough times for 🤕 Jimmy: that were what I said, nowt else Jimmy: take it or don't, girl Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: I told you, I'd be bored regardless, we don't need to go over it again Jimmy: Alright, fucking hell, forget I said owt Janis: Gladly Jimmy: 👍 Janis: if you want a break from your duties, I'll go rest after Jimmy: if you wanna tell me to piss off, do it properly Janis: fuck off turning shit around on me Janis: you want me to go now, just ignore me, no one is going to call us out if we give it a rest for a hot sec Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: fine Jimmy: is it? Janis: yes, stop asking like that Jimmy: stop being a massive twat Janis: why bother Jimmy: I don't want you to go nowhere, alright? Janis: alright Janis: what is it then? Jimmy: What? Janis: wha's wrong? Jimmy: What's wrong with you? Janis: Charming Jimmy: right Janis: you just seem moodier than normal, weren't calling you a total weirdo freak, was I Jimmy: Dunno, I read lips not minds Janis: another tagline Jimmy: give me my 🏆 whenever Janis: you know you want it off sir harder Jimmy: Mia's already deemed that non-goals, can't be a goer Janis: 💔 Janis: get it now Jimmy: 🎻🎻😭 Janis: Baby Janis: can't handle 🥈 Jimmy: you'll get used to it Janis: forgot my question mark, whoops Jimmy: yeah yeah Jimmy: I'm 🥇 ask anyone Janis: I'm the prize, ask anyone Janis: being nice to you, dickhead Jimmy: I'd have to give 'em a smack if I did do, that kind of fake boyfriend Janis: well 'ard Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: be less bored an' all Janis: getting to slag me off? yeah, you love it Jimmy: Getting to defend your honour, dickhead Jimmy: I'm the only one who gets to slag you off that's what 💕 is Janis: 😏 Janis: sounds about right Jimmy: should've probably phrased it more 🤓 for the screenshot Janis: where's my poetry, dickhead Jimmy: Hang on Jimmy: [writes her something actually good cos #muse] Janis: you save that from your crazy ex? Janis: s'clever, actually Jimmy: Do you see any other lass' name ❌? Janis: just think you were trying to remember mine, tbf Jimmy: What is it again? Janis: not important Janis: just stick with a pet name that makes us wanna puke Jimmy: Hers don't begin with the right letter, always get that far, me Jimmy: [draws her a doodle of a the JJ love heart for the first time ever] Janis: [mking sure the whole table sees so subtly] Janis: she weren't willing to change it? Janis: part-timer Jimmy: weren't willing to 💍👰 her, that were her next one Janis: your ex is a child bride? Jimmy: grim up north, you've been told Janis: that is 'it's their culture we shouldn't judge???!' grim though Jimmy: like I said, nowt to do with me Jimmy: if it stops her shagging half the north it'll be a bit less grim that she were Jimmy: *than Janis: 😬🤐 Jimmy: *😐 Janis: did you break up 'cos you came here, or was it ages ago? Jimmy: Did you not clock how unbothered I were there? Janis: that's just your face all the time Jimmy: *😒 Jimmy: That's my face Janis: 😍 there he is Jimmy: [makes her a paper boat and puts it on her desk] Jimmy: next time it's 😭 you've got that to piss about with Janis: [Blows him a kiss] Janis: 🤤🥴 you want me to get my arm ripped off by a clown? hot Jimmy: [IRL 😍 because we will lose ourselves if we're too real rn] Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Jimmy: That mean you'll let me 🪓🦶 or what? Janis: that's why you want me bedbound, all adding up now Janis: currently, I'll take it, do your best to do your worst, or whatever Jimmy: 🛏⛓ Jimmy: 🎀 Jimmy: You alright? Janis: gonna take Helena's pills, then I will be Jimmy: What's wrong? Janis: feels like someone's 🪓🦶 from the inside out Jimmy: Fuck this, I'm taking you to your room Janis: You don't have to, seriously Jimmy: [does though and tells the teacher that's what he's doing like I dare you to stop me bitch] Janis: [not in a position to argue, just like 'that's what they're for, she's got a slipped disc or some bollocks'] Jimmy: [casually having a row with the teacher like we're going good day and they do go and he puts her on her bed so gently like the softest boy and goes to get said 💊 soz Helena but not soz Mia if you do get the blame for this after having those couple under your pillow and more ice and an ankle support or whatever from the shit first aid like brb] Jimmy: how many? Janis: [oh boy you so pure] Janis: take another 2, please Janis: then I'll have 1 for tomorrow too Jimmy: One sec Janis: sorry Jimmy: What for? Janis: all this nonsense Jimmy: it's nowt Jimmy: be a load of bollocks if you were just sat there in pain when we can sort it piss easy Janis: I can't believe I even hurt myself, it's so stupid Janis: but if she notices, I'll get her better, don't worry, like Jimmy: When she notices, I'll let her know it were 💀👑 don't you worry Janis: maybe she won't, might be emergencies only type of shit Jimmy: doubt she'd be here if it were that bad Jimmy: 💀💀💀 trap that assault course Janis: by the time you get back, I will have curled up in a ball and died, and that's only a self-drag so, don't start Jimmy: What if it's broken? Janis: my ankle? Janis: it ain't, I'm 99% sure Jimmy: that 1% is 💔 Jimmy: be 100% for me, like Janis: alright, I am Janis: there's no way I'd have this much movement still, it was running on it earlier, that's all Jimmy: [we back cos we hurrying, give her that pill and some water and tuck the other one in her pocket for later (always so intimate boy) and put the ice on, then we're just sitting on the floor close as we can so she can have the entirety of the bed which would be Grace's as a correction corner cos I doubt he carried her up the ladder] Janis: [oh yes, soz to kick you out your bed gal, make later even more awkward lols, just hiding your face under the covers 'thank you'] Jimmy: [the softest 'hey' ever as you uncover her face and gently touch it cos you're worried that like she's in so much pain it's making her feel sick or something] Janis: [it is just shame and that should be apparent on her face, such a pitiful pout moment 'I am not this bitch, I swear'] Jimmy: [just brushing his thumb over her bottom lip like no put that away please 'I know' cos they may not know each other but he knows that much thankfully] Janis: ['can you stay, for a bit?'] Jimmy: [makes himself comfy on the floor next to her as a yes] Janis: ['you can get in, just don't literally sit on it and we'll be fine'] Jimmy: [bites his lip in a worried and adorable manner cos wants her to be comfortable but obvs does get in] Janis: ['don't worry, if you come across all rapey, still got both fists and one good leg' but gets comfy on him like, jk, I trust you] Jimmy: [a genuine lil smile cos we still worried but we're also amused and feeling a bit better] Jimmy: ['still got your teeth an' all, well deadly weapon them' always gotta be a bit saucy with it even in times of struggle] Janis: ['that's a different scenario altogether, gotta be nice for that to happen'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like oi cos he has literally been so nice and draws a halo round his head like excuse you] Janis: ['yeah, you have, but not like- you don't wanna' shakes her head and does devil horns on her own] Jimmy: ['I wanna - no you don't even go there sir shut your mouth and change what you were gonna say 'make sure you're alright' like true but] Janis: ['I know' smiles a bit, to reassure him 'these tabs are good so I'll either pass out or have a good time in the hottest of secs so, win-win'] Jimmy: [shakes his head but in an affectionate way] Janis: ['sorry I can't share'] Jimmy: ['You're alright' shrugs 'We've still got Ms Burke's stash to split' lowkey very much the last thing on his mind rn but we're on brand] Janis: ['go get it then' let's not gal full 😈 energy, but actually holding him around the waist so he cannot go anywhere 'cos rather this, we know] Jimmy: [snuggles into her more than he was like shh shh naughty baby 'in a bit' but we're not going anywhere] Janis: [happy sigh] Jimmy: [just being soft and quiet and snuggly] Janis: [go to sleep or you'll get loopy gurl] Jimmy: [both sleeping til Grace bowls in like a loud bitch not realising they are aka a my sister move] Janis: [SHOOKETH] Jimmy: [at least he can ask her how's she feeling because he genuinely wants to know but it's also goals] Janis: [when you say 'so much better thanks to you' 'cos genuinely but then you do the LOOK so  the fake lives on] Jimmy: [just asking her if he can get her anything cos genuinely but giving her a LOOK back in case she wants to take it in saucy direction, for the fakery ofc yep] Janis: [when you get to go 'you' and pull him down for a smooch 'cos excuse, thanks so much lol] Jimmy: [enjoy that lads cos we're all sleepy and in our emotions] Janis: [can't JUST start the show when the other flat whites come in, how unrealistic, no other reason we're snuggling so hard and telling him how good he is] Jimmy: [I like to imagine that Grace is getting ready to fuck off to one of their rooms to leave you to it when they descend because you know Mia knows you've been through her shit but can't prove it] Janis: [you and everyone else sweaty] Jimmy: [literally get over yourself babe, the only room they didn't do were their own, you ain't special and we're 'ignoring' y'all] Janis: [so hard, like not even saying hi 'cos just so injured and so concerned and also so into each other] Jimmy: [as far as y'all are concerned nobody's even there except for Grace cos she was impossible to ignore soz not soz ladies] Jimmy: [also he's ignoring his phone going off cos that full attention ™ would make them die] Janis: [when has a boy ever or when have you ever 'cos don't care about any lad that much we see you two 💀 Jimmy: [Pablo wouldn't and neither would you bitches, do love that it adds to your new boy mystery though Jimothy cos they don't know you're raising your siblings and your dad's a prick] Janis: ['do you need anything?' 'cos not that bitch, again, unlike you two] Jimmy: [shameless excuse for a make out that we're taking, sucks to suck gals] Janis: [when it's lowkey soft but still intense, compared to going the hardest for full effect 'cos that's actually more impactful rn] Jimmy: [I love that even though we know it'd make JJ die more, soz you two] Janis: [having to be all types of vulnerable rn] Jimmy: [#doitforthevine cos again when have any of the flatwhites been vulnerable with anyone] Janis: [try to stay alive] Jimmy: [at least whilst you're dying you're taking them down with you] Janis: ['I can probably get in my bed if you want yours back' 'cos where even are you all, just standing watching, need some privacy here lmao] Jimmy: [Grace would be like it's fine because has been trying to get them all to leave since they got there but nobody's listening lol] Janis: [get in that top bunk anyway 'cos like, not fine, your friends are crazy] Jimmy: [don't worry gal he'll help you] Janis: [at least now you can communicate 'cos can't straight up be peeping that hard, 👍 like ?] Jimmy: [just nods cos we're more worried about her ankle and checking on that not because this is such an intense situation rn nope nope] Janis: '[it's really fine now!' in the like OMG, you're SO precious tone they would use but also tryna be like actually though] Jimmy: [making her comfy af anyway because you're that kind of boy] Janis: ['get comfy with me'] Jimmy: [does and does a really loud happy sigh that we'll never know if it's real or fake] Janis: [saying sorry that he has to stay in with her and asking if he's so bored then loud whispering all the ways she gon' make it up to him] Jimmy: [saying back that he could never be bored with her and he wants to stay even though they're all here because true and kindly take the hint that you aren't taking from Grace ladies] Janis: [honestly, what do you want, you have two other rooms you could be in, it's so blatant lol] Jimmy: [maybe all his loud whispering about what he's gonna do to take care of her, in the sauciest manner he could ever mean that will make you leave but unlikely, we know Grace and Hollie are doing the most to be like LET'S GO but] Janis: [the lookiest of LOOKS honey, 'what are we waiting for then?' loud enough to be a warning like bitches go] Jimmy: [he's taking clothes off of her rn so you better leave there's another warning] Janis: [bra on your head or something equally as comical] Jimmy: [Grace is going so you've literally got no excuse to stay now Mia but you do have an excuse to sleep with that boy that Grace was flirting with cos you so mad] Janis: [sorry bra head] Jimmy: [I love ruining her life so much it gives me life, I also love that JJ are shamelessly gonna carry on for a bit just in case they come back cos of forgetting something cos actually wouldn't put that past Mia or Ella tbh] Janis: [very dedicated] Jimmy: [mhmm not at all that you really wanna do everything you said you were gonna do] Janis: [mhmmmmmmmmmmmm, not at all awkward when you have to stop 'cos realistically they gone] Jimmy: [at least you can finally check what was popping off on your phone in case Cass or Bobby need you] Janis: [yes, a must, as per you just kinda stuck but esp. with your ankle so just relish in that awkward] Jimmy: [I'm gonna say he has to facetime him cos they'd be signing anyway so all the secrets are safe] Jimmy: [but checking on the bae throughout like do you need me to get you anything because that bitch] Janis: [v handy actually, just watching but not in a creepy way just interested] Jimmy: [casually gonna be the longest phone call ever as poor Bobby misses him] Janis: [poor bobert, hop down for a wee or something gal give some space] Jimmy: [you know he's gonna help you automatically even if you could actually hop over] Janis: [taking a shower just to kill time, even though he's probably gonna be #concerned ] Jimmy: [he's gonna be 😒 at you gal] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [don't actually slip over or anything though that's the last thing we need] Janis: [being careful if you aren't gonna come in and reprimand us it fine] Jimmy: [I wish you would boy but that's risky for other reasons] Janis: [we know, not that shameless or bold quite yet] Jimmy: [one day kids] Janis: [are shameless enough to come out in your towel like bonjour] Jimmy: [cue his grumpiness cos 1. #concerned 2. we know what she looks like] Janis: ['what?' like you kinda know but you know, play like you truly don't have a clue] Jimmy: ['what do you mean what?' he's fuming] Janis: ['I felt gross' bit rude like 'cos YOU'VE been all over me but probably groggy from the meds and just spending more time than you ever in a bed 'it's fine'] Jimmy: [😒 af because we've jumped to the conclusion that she is saying because of him and also he hates all that it's fine bollocks] Janis: ['come on' throwing her hair towel thing at him once she's done drying it 'I didn't fall'] Jimmy: [throws it back at her a little bit too hard cos we know the 3. I didn't write is that the fam stuff has also got to him, cos Ian is the worst] Janis: [is honestly like oh! but we dropping it with a shrug 'cos clearly about more than you, you aren't that bitch either, just carrying on getting PJs on etc like alright] Jimmy: [go to get her some water to give her some privacy to put clothes on and also to give her as a peace offering] Janis: [just like tah with a head nod] Jimmy: [he's going to the window to 🚬 cos can't leave in case someone sees him] Janis: ['how long did we nap?' literally no concept 'cos never sleeps that well tbh] Jimmy: ['just for a bit' cos realistically wouldn't have been an age 'go back to sleep if you want'] Janis: [shrugs like 'could do' 'cos lowkey evenings on school trips are this awkward like what we gonna do] Jimmy: [just smoking in silence in case she does wanna but then after a while is suddenly like 'come here' cos sees Mia going into that lad's room but doesn't know who's it is] Janis: [does and is 😏 and already tryna do a zoom shot but misses 'come on then' 'cos gotta be nosy and life ruin] Jimmy: [gets his hoodie which is now hers and puts it on for her first including a zip up moment because she only has pjs on and he doesn't want her to be cold] Janis: ['A*' 'cos all part of the performance obvs] Jimmy: [we just shrugging cos we got places to be spying, 100% has also set a timer to see how long she's in there for that shade though] Janis: [lmao, this poor random boy 'I reckon this is his first time, you know'] Jimmy: [visibly cringing cos imagine your first time being with Mia, it'd be bad enough sleeping with her any time] Janis: [nods like mhmm, 'cos on some level you think he's JUST cringing about first times] Jimmy: [when he probably would think about his first time with the ex and cringe some more] Janis: [pushing him like 'focus' as if this is v v serious sleuthing] Jimmy: [pushes her back like oi because always, unrelated kinda but I think we should say it starts raining for that #mood] Janis: [love rain baby] Jimmy: [puts her hood up for her as a shameless excuse to touch her hair] Janis: [when it's still damp from the shower so this makes you smile like okay boy] Jimmy: [smiling back automatically and it's a cute lil moment ™] Janis: [messing up his hair 'cos likewise] Jimmy: [we falling in love again, quick boy gather what evidence you can without having to witness anything gross] Janis: [or being seen by miss thang, not stalking you in return tah] Jimmy: [she wishes, oh snap though what if Mr Lucas sees them] Janis: [JJ or Mia and poor boy? Jimmy: [JJ because he hates them and it amuses me like why you lurking in the rain sir] Janis: [how sinister, absolutely] Jimmy: [we'll let you finish your mission first, he don't need to interrupt that] Janis: [but a good reason to separate you again] Janis: I've got an 💡 Jimmy: but is it🥇? Janis: some would even say 🔥 Jimmy: Go on Janis: what if we repurpose the website we made for the computer project Janis: upload the 📸 and 📹s Jimmy: Alright Janis: it's a good idea Janis: I don't mean now, I mean when she really deserves it Jimmy: you don't reckon she deserves it now? Janis: she always does, obvs Janis: but she can do worse Janis: and we can probably get more RECEIPTS to make it more 🔥 Jimmy: and you'll get a bigger 🏆 off me Janis: priorities Jimmy: that's your top one, yeah Janis: idk if that's even my fake top priority Jimmy: Oi, don't protest too much, girl Jimmy: you'll bring Bill's 👻 out Janis: don't threaten me with a good time Jimmy: 👻 can't threaten you with owt Janis: or just moving my shit slightly to one side Janis: throwing a few plates, fucking with the radiowaves Jimmy: I'd only have to get it for you if I did do Jimmy: and grab myself the 🧹 Janis: 1. rude, because it's both your fault that I'm an invalid and your fault that you keep treating me like one 2. stick it up your arse and you'll have two hands free 👌 Jimmy: 1. never said I weren't gonna keep putting the work in, just that there's no need to create loads of extra Jimmy: 2. another 💡🥇 you're on one today, Janet Jimmy: 3. Why's it alright for you to threaten me with a good time? Janis: 1. didn't say that either, you clearly love it so why complain? 2. all I do is 🏆 you need to pay closer attention 3. 'cos I know how to have one, OBVS Jimmy: 1. you reckon this is me putting a complaint in? Bit awkward that 2. when I ain't off the clock I'll be sure to crack on with that and owt else your heart desires, babe 3. You know how to have a 💡🥇 it ain't the same thing Janis: 1. don't have a special form for it or a manager so, now's your only chance 2. 🤮 3. yeah, would know, as I have 'em both Jimmy: Keep on and I might take it Jimmy: but as things go, I told you 😒 just my face Janis: love it, I already told you I know Janis: say no more Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 🤤 Janis: genuine Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: fake Janis: 👍 for clearing that up Jimmy: 👍 for not having genuine 💔 about it Janis: 🙄 imagine Jimmy: you're alright, tah Jimmy: don't need any nightmare #inspo Janis: 🎻 Janis: it'd be your privilege Jimmy: would be 😭🎻🗭😱 that were what I just said Jimmy: it's my privilege to be off the clock for a bit Janis: sound like an old lag Janis: enjoy your freedom Jimmy: that'll be 'cause I am Jimmy: Helena's 💊 wore off yet or what? Janis: what you saying? Jimmy: you heard me say it Jimmy: are you alright or what? Janis: you're bad at taking a break Jimmy: It's pissing it down, it'd put my 🚬 out Jimmy: you might as well answer me Janis: not all breaks last 15 minutes and include two 🚬s, you know Janis: do anything your 💘 desires Jimmy: sounds fake, that Jimmy: and my 💘 desires your answer, dickhead Janis: I'm alright Janis: felt better earlier, obviously Janis: but not taking no more from her Jimmy: have a drink then, I left it there Janis: want me to roll it down after? Jimmy: it might float away Jimmy: keep it for now Janis: 👍 more for me Jimmy: Oi Janis: yes? Jimmy: leave my share alone, pisshead Janis: well demanding Jimmy: how'd you work that out? Janis: don't you want me to manage my pain? Jimmy: it were my idea Janis: exactly, now you're being stingy Janis: Ms Burke knows how much you need to really take the edge off Jimmy: half'll get the job done, lightweight like you Janis: not even true Jimmy: you're not alright then Janis: I meant I'm not a lightweight Jimmy: and I meant, it's a bigger edge that you're telling me if you need owt more than your half to see it off Jimmy: *than Janis: Only taking the piss Janis: I'll save your half Jimmy: are you? Janis: Alright ✔ taking the piss ✔ Janis: be all good by the time we leave, I reckon Jimmy: 👌 Janis: are you Janis: was on the phone ages earlier Jimmy: Alright ✔ taking the piss ❌ Jimmy: didn't realise you had a ⏲ going Janis: no need Janis: escaped and had a shower, 'nuff said Jimmy: you do take ages Janis: fuck off Janis: got a lot of hair, ain't I Jimmy: taking the piss ✔ Jimmy: you're alright, reckon my ex's 🚿⏲ could give Gracie a run for her 💰 Janis: probably 😭 in there then Jimmy: 💔 she can't fit the full orchestra in Janis: have to be minted for that Janis: how big does a bathroom have to be, anything more than a box with a bog in is a flex Jimmy: bet 💀👑's is MASSIVE Janis: which one? 💁 Jimmy: her personal one, duh Janis: play 🎾 whilst you 💩 Jimmy: play ♟ with human sized pieces while you 🤮 Janis: human pieces if you could get the bloody staff 😤 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: some dystopian shit that Jimmy: she looks like she's crawled out of a warzone or some bollocks Janis: very zombie Janis: NEVER eat all those 🧠 though, zombie on a diet Jimmy: cancer ward would do an' all but she'd be about the pity too much for me to sign off on that one Janis: ugh, she'd be infuriating if she had a terminal illness Jimmy: she has Jimmy: and it's spread to 💀#2 Janis: nah Janis: well part-time Jimmy: obvs, rich girls ain't got no need to do owt full time Janis: 'cept be a mummy, when the time is right Jimmy: nah, that's part time an' all if you can get the staff Jimmy: and keep your husband away from 'em Janis: face like 💀? good luck Janis: poor nanny would only have to look vaguely human Jimmy: she won't keep a lad long enough to 💍👰 Jimmy: have to 💰👶 Janis: wouldn't put fuck all past her Janis: 💰🤵 Janis: why not Jimmy: 🛏⛓🦶🏻🪓 Jimmy: bit weird how it came back round Janis: 🛑 to 🤐? Jimmy: nowt weird about that Janis: it is your kink Jimmy: it were you who were genuinely 🤤 about me shutting up a bit ago Janis: and it was you that 🛏⛓ Janis: phase one almost complete Jimmy: if it were, you wouldn't be pissing about going for 🚿s Janis: well soz I got away Jimmy: me an' all, obvs Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: If you think of a kink that don't involve 🛏 you can hmu Jimmy: 🤯 Jimmy: I've got nowt else to offer you, soz Janis: damn Janis: guess I'll be taking loads of 🚿s Jimmy: don't give me a bell when you twist your other ankle then Janis: 🥺 Janis: what if Ben ain't as good at fetching me things Jimmy: that'll mean you ain't as good a trainer as you reckon Jimmy: but go on and give him them 👀 Janis: you're right Janis: that's ridiculous Janis: obviously I'm 🥇 Jimmy: There you go then Janis: it's been fake Janis: gotta dash Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I know, the 💔 is real Jimmy: I can't 😭 if you keep on Janis: performance anxiety Janis: cute Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: it's gonna take you ages to dash anywhere, you better crack on Janis: rude Janis: I'm great at 🦩 Jimmy: you are always 😳 Janis: *never Jimmy: never @ Ben Jimmy: you've got that right Janis: if Ben asked me to fake it an' all, I could Jimmy: duh Jimmy: nowt you wouldn't do for that lad Janis: not fake anal Janis: need to save something for the fake honeymoon, tah Jimmy: You're alright, it don't count for you god fearing paddys Janis: that's Ben's line Janis: not my pimp Jimmy: be knackering, well in demand, you Janis: thanks? Jimmy: I'll leave you to it then, mate Janis: night Jimmy: in a bit Janis: left your hoodie on your door Jimmy: it's yours Janis: it's not though Jimmy: is til we're done Jimmy: so unless you're 💔 me for Ben tonight, have it back Janis: I'll give it back tomorrow Janis: got plenty of hoodies that could be yours at home Jimmy: 👌 Janis: oh Janis: and I left the bottle Janis: grab that 'fore Ms Burke sniffs it back out Jimmy: you need a hand back? Janis: depends Jimmy: ? Janis: where that hand is taking me Jimmy: Depends Janis: I'm not getting back in fucking bed Janis: I'll get sores Jimmy: I'll flip you over Jimmy: 💪 me Jimmy: and I've got that 👻 rep to keep Janis: steady Janis: 😏 Janis: not gonna start a new rep being one of those lonely women who has paranormal orgasms Jimmy: I get it, no threat of a good time Jimmy: where do you wanna go then? Janis: mhmm Janis: after I ❌ out 🍑 stuff and everything, still tryna see it from the back Janis: I dunno, there has to be something less deadly than the assault course Janis: the lake? Jimmy: Alright Janis: I'm gonna go mental if I don't get out Jimmy: I said alright Jimmy: hang on Janis: finish whatever's keeping you busy Jimmy: [appears like a 👻] Janis: [faux 😱 for the horror movie moment] Jimmy: [passes her the bottle he's just taken a swig from automatically] Janis: [raises a brow 'cos had her half, clearly, but as clearly does not turn it down] Jimmy: [picks her up obviously] Janis: ['you know it's a way down there-' gestures in the general direction '-yeah?'] Jimmy: ['that'll be why you need carrying' cos he's like stop walking about ffs, such a worrier] Janis: [tuts 'go halves with you on that tab tomorrow at this rate, boy'] Jimmy: [such an OTT fake offended face to hide that he actually is] Janis: [pinches his cheeks and his biceps 'n'awh, you're good, just saying, don't try to come for me for your physio'] Jimmy: [pretends that he's gonna drop her cos she's messing about like don't come to me for yours] Janis: ['I'll drag you down with me' looking at the muddy ground and looking at him like, game if you are] Jimmy: [SUCH a LOOK] Janis: ['think of the photo op' trying to sound casual but not] Jimmy: [puts her down and gets his phone out, giving her the same kind of impress me then look that she gave him earlier when he broke into the teacher's rooms] Janis: [gets down, with however much difficulty, on her knees, then gets back up with the same and points at the mud like, see what I'm saying here, 'cos in PJs so lot of skin we could cover] Jimmy: [just looking at her like don't hurt yourself babe] Janis: [😒 'come on'] Jimmy: [comes over and smears mud on her 😒 face and you know it's meant to be in a pisstakey manner but it's just saucy] Janis: [gets her phone out so she can film the kiss she gives him to get that mud on his face] Jimmy: [not at all casual makeout sesh enusing] Janis: [pulling him down in the mud like you said you would] Jimmy: [so #into it whenever and wherever we know] Janis: [again, these pics such an after-thought immediately] Jimmy: [still gonna pull you into his lap though as an excuse to keep you in frame, no other reason at all] Janis: ['you like me here, yeah?' under the vague pretense we 📹 as per] Jimmy: [when you just nod because even though we're 'filming' you don't trust yourself not to say something you shouldn't] Janis: [shifts somehow closer so they're fully pressed together 'what about here?'] Jimmy: [a NOISE because it's the perfect answer for this 📹 but also real af] Janis: [a noise in return 'you're so fucking-'] Jimmy: ['you' and kissing her really hard before she can dispute it] Janis: [bye phone tbh] Jimmy: [you did better at pretending than I thought you would lads tbh] Janis: [well done for even bothering babe] Jimmy: [literally] Janis: [wouldn't have if you had a clue what he was thinking ever but there we go, as is the fake dating era of it all] Jimmy: [it's very much the same for him if it's any consolation gal] Janis: [it ain't for her but it is for us lmao] Jimmy: [we love it soz not soz] Janis: [this is v cinematic] Jimmy: [at least you'll have to get in the lake to get all this mud off so that'll be a #mood too] Janis: [don't get hypothermia though pls] Jimmy: [god it would be so cold I can't even imagine] Janis: [gonna need to snuggle it's the law] Jimmy: [yaaaas, can and will send him back for a duvet if necessary too] Janis: [your school is never being allowed back 'cos of you two lmao] Jimmy: [you're welcome kids of the future who won't have to do all this bollocks] Janis: [tbh] Jimmy: [gonna vote for more rain when they in the lake to make it even more cinematic] Janis: [hundo] Jimmy: [what a beautiful evening] Janis: [we out here in a romcom in all the ways] Jimmy: [mhmmm] Janis: [how we keeping this PG-13 bois] Jimmy: [realistically we might have to give you something else to pretend didn't happen lol] Janis: [mhmm agreed] Jimmy: [no stopping that mud moment if we're being real] Janis: [s'what I'm thinking] Jimmy: [what happens on this trip stays on this trip so we'll allow it] Janis: [deal with that later] Jimmy: [you lowkey both think there won't be a later and you'll just not have to deal because he's holding onto that false hope of leaving very hard and you aren't planning to string out this fake dating that long regardless] Janis: [imagine if he left lmao, just never seeing this boy you lost your v to like did it even happen] Jimmy: [I will not imagine that because how sad] Janis: [soz that ain't happening boy but not at all] Jimmy: [it all works out in the end, you're both welcome] Janis: [but for now, what are we doing] Jimmy: [you two should probably get some sleep if you ever get warm/stop snuggling post lake] Janis: [are we separating though?] Jimmy: [they'll sleep better if they're together so it depends how mean we wanna be] Janis: [how you vibing lads] Jimmy: [we could make a case for keeping your distance after all that romanticness but also saying fuck it if you've come this far] Janis: [hmmmmmmm, I'm saying she's down to say fuck it, like you don't need to chat about that either if you just do it] Jimmy: [his room or hers] Janis: [we've woke up in her room once so switch it up for that max coverage] Jimmy: [good idea boo] Janis: [crack on] Jimmy: [have your spoon and get some sleep, you must be knackered]

[yukoolyuriluv]

⚠️⚠️ about sexual assault and abuse⚠️⚠️

This is story about a man I know that went through sexual abuse with a girl he knew in school, before I continue I know people will judge but just know this happens to ANY AND EVERYONE NO MATTER THE AGE, RACE/ETHNICITY, SIZE OR WHATEVER. The state that this occurred is GA the age of consent there is 16 so now that I put this down I will go and continue with his story and why we should be more careful, aware, and fight anyone that falsely accuse.

My friend name is David and he went to a school name Butler in GA where he met this girl name Dasan. When he met her he was 18 going on 19 and she just turned 15. These two were “dating” because of her friend got those two “together” but it wasn’t all roses. So ofc people are already judging because of the age but don’t judge yet. *he told me everything from beginning to end* after they started “dating” she started asking him for sex and he said she would ask for sex once or twice a day and he constantly kept saying no. She also grabbed his penis, get him hard and stroke him, even after him saying no and moving her hand and ofc she wouldn’t stop. He would move away and but she kept going and would even sit on his lap and rub herself on him even with him not liking it at all. She would continue this everyday even after him yelling at her and moving away from her. She would tell him they should ditch and go fuck and he would ofc keep saying no. The more he would say no the more she would continue or get mad and leave. She was always home alone and what has found out about her she has both daddy and abandonment issues and by dealing with this is by her wanting to have sex and her not having that is her being angry and creating lies. I don’t know the month they started “going out” and David doesn’t remember either but they “broke up” in February on the 18th. She continued and when he would push her away she would get pissed off and even walked away. She did this more than enough times the entire time they were together. Understandable he should’ve BEEN LEFT and not dealt with her anymore but everyone learns a lesson here. He even told his friends about all this and one even witnessed her doing the acts that she was doing, why didn’t he stop her? We don’t know but how she was she couldn’t be stopped. She would have him come over because of her being home alone and want him to fuck and when he would decline she would stop talking to him for hours until she felt it was right to talk to him again. Her aunt picked him up and they went back to her house and her dad was also there(let me add David met her dad and she lied to her dad saying David was 18 and her dad didn’t seem to care) those two made dinner together while her dad watched but when her dad and aunt was both in their rooms that’s when things started to happen⚠️the next part is graphic for some people⚠️

⚠️she kept touching him and he kept stopping her and she would rub him, grind on him, say dirty things to him and she was laying down on her couch while having both her hands on his hips and he slipped his finger tip inside her for a few secs until he took it out and sat back, I did ask him what stopped him and he replied saying he knew what he was doing was wrong so he stopped. She laid there for a few mins and got back up to continue touching him and he continued saying no and she got mad and those two stopped talking and her aunt took him back home⚠️ she stopped talking to him for 3 days and after the 3rd day she told him how she felt and he apologized but a week after she went back to touching him and he would still continue to stop her. She went around to her friends saying he held her down and put a hand over her mouth while she was kicking and screaming but the thing is her dad and aunt was there but she never told anyone that

This her best friend Jennifer Zimmerman and I told her saying that her friend side won’t be good when it comes up that she lied. David bought her a bear for Valentine’s Day

She still has this bear til this very day but the question is...if he traumatized you and held you down then why would you accept his gift?? Ofc she didn’t get him anything and asked him for sex for Valentine’s Day and ofc he said no and she stopped talking to him. If you know narcissists so well you’ll know the “silent treatment” is their way of getting to you. I came in to fish out more info about her and she exposed herself so well all by herself on IG(I’m going to posts her posts that she deleted and a convo she had with my friend and also about her dad)

She admits that she hurts those that are interested in her as you can see in the 3rd screenshot

She said she got away from him for her own safety but if you’re doing that then why would you hug him? Keep talking to him? Continue to eat lunch with him? And yes after their break up she attempted to sit on his lap and before she did he pushed her and those two continued to talk but not as much and continued to eat lunch together *thats why I told him y’all don’t sound believable no matter what*

Before he deleted his IG back in 2018 those two still talked to one another and when I asked about her when it came to the milk dropping she said “it was on accident and even helped him clean up” in which he said was a lie. I asked her best friend why did she keep the bear?, it’s a reminder of him and she replied back”everyone said it’s a reminder of him but she doesn’t see it that way, it’s cute which she likes”. David did tell me that she would start the convo off sexual and he would reply with “imagine if I was there”, she wouldn’t reply and came to find out that she screenshot them and sent it to her friend. Jennifer also told me that she told a lot of people about this incident and a girl went to his dms calling him a pedophile and rapist and I told Jennifer about it and her friend “apologized” to us because they didn’t want this to happen. If you ask Jennifer about this she wouldn’t want to talk about it, trust I tried at the time.

She even said that she was going to handle “some business” with David but he told me all she did was walk pass him

She would post the convos about me and her friend that goes by TK but not with my friend that I posted up there.

This girl has been going around with the same lies ever since and won’t admit that she lied and if you try to attack her should stand her ground and then block you. She knows that she ruined his reputation and image over a lie and over something that she done to him but she won’t admit that. I told her best friend about her cheating about them hugging but she didn’t seem to care about them hugging but only about her friend cheating?? Her name is Dasan Wright and she’s been falsely accusing my friend til this very day with no stopping and if you attack her she won’t do much but have her friends handle it for her. She can’t destroy me because she doesn’t have much on me but convos of me and TK(where it’s the most cringiest because I was trying not to say more hurtful stuff and also me saying my parents are bloods and crips😂😂😂) and also me not believing in her lies. But the question is..if he did this then why continue talking about him? You said he traumatized you but want him to keep quiet? She only wants you to hear her story but once you start asking questions she blocks you.

I stand with BOTH men and women. A lot of men don’t believe that men can’t get raped and a lot of women believes “NO MEANS NO” only occurs for women but ofc THATS NOT TRUE! That’s why a lot of men don’t tell their stories, don’t come out saying anything because they know they’ll be shamed and laughed at and I told David that you’re victim no matter what they’ll say and no matter how many times she would continue the lies, YOURE A VICTIM! Yes BOTH YALL DUMB AS HELL but that doesn’t mean you should of been assaulted!!

I’m not ruining no one, I’m just telling his side and adding my parts to it because we’re supposed to be silenced but I don’t believe in that. She’s bringing her plastic toys I’m bringing in actual evidence. Ofc why should this matter to me if I was staying in Cali and they was in GA..I’ll say because I’m tired of hearing these lies but I should’ve stayed in my place and which I do regret..this is his story and not mines. Hate him or not but he was still assaulted

[baehraini]

i cbf screenshotting her posts again so ima just quote her

1) when I’m disagreeing with an small obessed group all of which have Some cluster b disorder in common, yes I’m going to call you the cluster gang

out of all of the women that have been agreeing with me about u... im the only one i know of that has BPD or any cluster B disorder. the others with the same are hardly the majority.

2) yes you have a problem with the g spot if you think it leads to ripping a woman’s vagina open. I told you that story about a lover I had who I gave a G spot orgasm too that freaked out over it before reading up on what happened . You have piss poor reading skills if you think that was about me fisting her. As I simply didn’t fist her at all. I don’t fist every lover I have either, just the few who express they would enjoy it.

heres ur exact statement

why the fuck bring it up in the middle of a convo about fisting? no im not opposed to fingering or .. the g-spot. the fuck. back-pedaling @ its finest here.

3) why complain at all about how many hrs another woman has sex? That’s all on you guys. I can eat sleep sex for weeks if I want to and have before, who cares what you think about it.

girl no one’s complaining, ppl just think its bull as do i. but like, do u. again, ur sex life is urs. normal people dont go aroudn talking about how much they fist women and these womens specific experiences & orgasms with descriptors of said women. thats personal shit. thats 99% of where people’s criticism is coming from. boasting & bragging about shit like this is so disrespectful to YOUR sexual partners and thats why youre being compared to straight men. 

4) I’m not into penetration myself and have said this many times, obviously I wasn’t talking about having that preference in any judgements way. I simply pointed out the fact if you bleed from more then one finger in you then that’s something you should check out as how do you even put a tampon in. Fact is that is not normal for most women and your vagina should not bleed so easily. I’m simply looking out for you by saying this.

i bled because she was very rough and bad with her hands. she also added in a second finger when i wasnt even wet enough for the first one to begin with. it usually takes me time to get to the point where im able to handle penetration bc im relatively tight. with my girlfriend, ive never bled. the entire point of me sharing that story was to explain why i personally cannot even comprehend vaginal fisting, not to say that no female can handle more than 1 or 2 fingers.

5) if a lesbians sex life is her business she should be able to openly talk about it without you flipping yr shit especially since this is my blog and you are a stranger I’ve blocked from it and told that if you don’t like reading it you are free not too.

why are you reading my blog tho? youre 20 years older than me & have gone as far as say theres something wrong with my genitals & made comments about how my sex life must be boring or w/e. does that seem appropriate to you? consider that my mom is 47. youre nearing 41. does it seem appropriate to you that you’re talking like this to someone that much younger than you? 

ANYWAYS, the issue isnt you being open about your sex life. its how you speak of the women involved & how much you boast about it. plenty of the women i follow talk about fucking women regularly, the difference is how they talk about it. 

7) I’m none of those anon or other pages. You can stop making up profiles and sending yourself bs or at least stop trying to blame me for it. We all know I take too much pride not to let people know when I’m behind something and I would tell you off directly like I always have everyone else ever.

thats cool. you’re not the main suspect for those anons and the people i know that know u well enough also think it’s unlikely that its you. its pretty likely to be one of your buddies & most likely RAIDS. this is nothing new for her. 

i definitely haven’t made extra profiles to harass myself nor have i sent myself anons. 

8) let’s agree not to have anything to do with each already or unblock and continue this till forever cuz I was done with you the 1st day I saw you tranny stanning saying rape by deception wasn’t real rape and told you I wish you death by tranny cock, but obviously while I didn’t literally mean it you lived only to annoy me ever since instead of just fucking off and leaving me be.

you seemed to mean it literally and only started to say u didnt mean it recently. either way, the graphic shit you said about me sucking dick or w/e.. thats wishing me rape. especially when i said over & over im penis-repulsed and especially repulsed by the thought of having someones penis in my mouth. as for my stance on rape by deception, i changed my stance there & owned up to it being ignorant & wrong at first. either way, i never ever went to any victims of that and told them their experience wasn’t Real somehow.  

months ago i wouldve been alright with talking to you PROPERLY and directly but u refused to stop reblogging my posts while still having me blocked, which is the entire reason why i blocked you. bc it was annoying talking to someone who keeps reblogging from me and directing stuff at me on my posts while having me blocked. if u want to unblock one another and talk, i could maybe consider it at this point but ive been saying this for a while now: all i want is for u and ur buddies to stop lying about me, twisting what i say/said/do/did, and the like. i also want them to stop sending me disgusting anons. 

at the same time, though, if i see something shitty u or ur friends say (same as for anyone else), im bound to question & criticise it especially considering how aggressive & harsh you all are to anyone you disagree with. 

9) You and Eve are no tumblur therapists stop projecting yr mental issues onto me. The only problem I have with cluster b disorders is your group not leaving me be. If there was treatment for that which could make you all you away I would gladly take that magic pill as many times a day as it took.

honestly eve is pretty well off mentally esp when compared to you, and im trying to say this in the least insulting way possible. there’s a reason why so many people find you unreasonable, manipulative, bizarre, hysterical, dramatic, and sometimes comical. either way, trust me im not fond of diagnosing people online. i only ever bring stuff like this up bc its hypocritical for someone to diagnose people online as cluster B all while exhibiting just as many if not more symptoms themselves. either way, this is something youve been doing and refuse to stop doing to other people. just because someone doesnt like you or is critical of you doesn’t mean theyre somehow mentally ill, and it also definitely doesnt mean theyre not a lesbian. 

[lothrilzul]

Things about my Dovahkiins

A recent convo with @mrninjapineapple reminded me of this unfinished thing.

I started this questionnaire around March 28th, 2015 and it’s been sitting in my sta.sh unfinished for so long that I forgot who tagged me to do this.

Looking back, it’s quite a silly list of questions, and I originally wanted to scrap the whole thing, but I liked some of my answers, so here it is. You can compare the personalities of my different Dragonborns by their answers.

[I’m planning to make a more serious questionnaire for the characters involved in our collection of stories (The Age of Restoration). I’ll also plan to post some screenshots of them in a later post.]

Onto the questionnaire with 40 silly questions!

1. What is your name? Z: Zinnia(h Fire-Hearth) Y: Yrgrod Ragvirsson C: Casts-First-Asks-Second N: Nicholaus (the Goldsmith) S: Shurag gra-Burz

2. Do you know why you were named that? Z: No. [After a horse called Cinnia, because I thought it sounded unique.] Y: I was named after an old hero and I inherited my fathers family name too. [It was formed from parts of my name, "rág" & "Vir"] C: Yes, I named myself. [And it sounded cool!] N: No, I was too little to ask it by the time and later I was already used to it. [Because he was created on 6th of December, the day of Saint Nicholas (Mikulás in our country)] S: I don't really care about it, it's just a name... [it was formed from a part of my name, "s Virág" sounding "shwirag", with different spelling] 3. Are you single or taken? Z: Taken. Y: Taken. C: Single? I'm unique! N: Was taken. S: Single. 4. Have any abilities or powers? Z: I'm the Dragonborn and a werewolf and I have an ability called Ancestor's wrath Y: I'm the Dragonborn and a werewolf. C: I'm a Volkihar vampire N: Not that I know of, other than still being alive. S: I can go berserk answering such questions. 5. Stop being a Mary-Sue! Z: I do have a bunch of titles, but this one, I never heard of... Y: Isn't that a female name? C: Why should I? N: Silly... S: You mean Shu, right? 6. What's your eye color? Z: Pitch black. Y: Somewhere between blue and green. C: White with a red pupil. Originally my pupil was light blue. N: Green as an emerald. S: It's red. The other one's blind. 7. How about hair color? Z: It's almost black. Y: Some kind of blonde. C: Hair? Phew, filthy thing! I have beautiful horns! N: It was brownish, now it's grey. S: Brown. 8. Have you any family members? Z: A husband and adopted daughters. My parents are dead. Y: I have a wife and adopted kids. My sister and her son died during his birth. C: No, and I'm happy about it. N: I had. S: I adopted a daughter, but I haven't found true love yet. 9. Oh? How about pets? Z: I love horses and I have four: Arvak, Blaze, Frost and Shadowmere. My daughter's pet fox, Vix sometimes lets me cuddle her. Y: I'm a dog man. C: I don't know the Dead Thrall perk yet. Pity. N: I like animals, but I don't want to attach anyone again. S: I have a good horse. I don't need useless critters around me. 10. That's cool, I guess. Now tell me about something you don't like. Z: The Blades. Y: Unnecessary friction. C: Werewolves, Vigilants of Stendarr and the Silver Hand. N: Boots. S: Dragons. 11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do? Z: Reading. I have a library of around three hundred books. Y: I like to sing (though some say that I shouldn't) and listen to the bards. C: I tend to drink guard's blood in Riften. Broad daylight. N: I like to craft jewellery. S: Exploring the vast wilderness of Skyrim. 12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before? Z: Pretty much. Bandits, creatures, some people. But I only regret some of them. Y: Yes, and he deserved it. He was the reason why my sister died. C: Most possible ways, yes. N: I did, but I wish I shouldn't have. I'm not afraid to protect myself, though. S: I gladly smash in anyone's faces, who deserves it. 13. Ever... killed anyone before? Z: I did. Most time I followed orders, but sometimes for my own good. Y: To name the most important: the usurper Ulfric Stormcloak. C: With pleasure. Also, I need hearts and flesh for crafting. N: Same as Q12. S: It was me or them. No question. 14. What kind of animal are you? Z: I'm a werewolf. And the Dragonborn. Y: I'm a werewolf. C: I'm beastfolk, not animal. I should shed your blood for this question. N: I always considered myself a small and peaceful creature, therefore a squirrel, I guess? S: Orcs are no animals. Oh, you mean metaphorically? I'm a sabrecat. 15. Name your worst habits? Z: Hoarding stuff. Especially ingredients and books. Y: I tend to be hot headed and sometimes I regret things. C: In others eyes, killing for my own amusement is one. N: I tend to be melancholic. S: Smashing in faces. 16. Do you look up to anyone at all? Z: Talos. Y: Sometimes, but they mostly prove they were unworthy to it. Sad. C: No. N: Quite a number of people, yes. S: My mother, Shuzhra was the greatest personality ever. I miss her. 17. Are you gay, straight, or bisexual? Z: Straight. Y: Straight. C: I'm not picky. N: I always thought I was straight, but now I'm not that sure... S: Straight-in-your-face, what kind of unashamed question is this? 18. Do you go to school? Z: No, but I learn new tricks on a weekly basis! Y: No, I'm old enough. C: I never needed school to achieve my goals... N: No, but you are never too old to learn! S: I don't need that, unless it's about potions or fighting! 19. Ever wanna marry and have kids one day? Z: Already married, first child is on his way! Y: I already am, and that second... would be good. C: I don't think so. No kids. Never. N: I had a beautiful wife and daughter, but they both died long ago. Now I'm searching for my grandson! S: Maybe... maybe not. 20. Do you have fangirls/fanboys? Z: I don't know. Maybe. [She’s just modest, she has some.] Y: I... have? C: Of course. N: If I have, that's cool. S: I don't need such admiration. 21. What are you most afraid of? Z: That something happens with my family or with those who I care about. Y: Having to fight those who I called my friends once. C: The Sun. Hiss. N: Bonding. S: That I hurt someone who’s not deserving. 22. What do you usually wear? Z: Light armor crafted by myself and a hood. Y: Heavy armor without helmet, or a helmet which doesn't cover my face. I need my foes to know who bested them. C: Light armor with dark tones, hood, sabatoons, veil or scarf and a mask to hide my teeth. N: Plain clothing. I was dressed in burlap clothing with bare feet before the Sparrows made it cool. No, I'm not a religious fanatic. Does it mean I'm a hipster? S: Blades armor with a Greybeard cloak, to shorten the cooldown of my Shouts when I kill dragons. 23. What's one food that tempts you? Z: Most kind of sweets. Y: Milk. C: Hehe. Blood, my dear. N: Elves ear. My favourite spice. S: Dried venison. 24. Am I annoying you? Z: No, these questions are interesting. I love to explore myself by thinking about stuff I usually don't. Y: Not really. C: I don't know yet. N: No. S: A bit. But I manage it. 25. Well, it's still not over! Z: Good! Y: Alright. C: Go on! N: Alright. S: Oh. 26. What class are you? Low class, middle class, high class. Z: Started as middle class, now high class. Y: High class from born. C: Low class to high class in two years. N: Middle class. S: Orcs are orcs, not classy people. 27. How many friends do you have? Z: I don’t like to count, but many. Some are close, the most not much. Kharjo, J’zargo, Brelyna, Aela, Farkas, Lucan, Belethor, Urag, Lydia, Sasha (mod) and my Housecarls. Oh and Paarthurnax. [Non canonically she likes Aronansa and Jenna Sajpa] Y: Who can be sure about that anymore? The Companions, especially after purging our beast blood together. C: Anum-La, The Swamp Knight [from the interesting NPC mod] N: Some people here or there, but I don’t make want to make new friends, I’m too old. S: A few. Why? 28. What are your thoughts on pie? Z: Delicious! Y: I hope it’s a meat pie. C: Bleh. N: I don’t mind one coming my way sometimes. S: Uh, they’re food? 29. If you could meet anyone, living or dead, who would it be? Z: Talos! Or my father. Y: My beautiful sister Hroda. C: My enemies, so I can flay them! N: My grandson, Mercer. You heard about him? S: Right now? 30. Favourite drink? Z: Red wine and clean water. Y: Milk! C: Fresh blood. N: Mead. S: Magicka potions. They are good for thirst. 31. What's your favourite place? Z: Hm. Skyrim, as a whole, but I like Heljarchen because that where we live now. Y: Dragonsreach is nice. C: Lakeview, my place. N: Solstheim volcanic side. S: The Reach. 32. Are you interested in anyone? Z: My husband, Balimund! Y: My wife, Zinnia [copy of Zinnia as a mod] C: Not now. N: Don’t tell him but I fancy Tolfdir. S: Not right now. 33. How tall are you?

The game gives the height of the character compared to the average. Different races and sexes have different base values. (e.g. Nord males are 1,03, while Khajiit women are 0,95) I headcanonned the average to be 175 cm (5’74). If you think the average Skyrim player character has a different height value, it modifies my calculation (also, sorry, my brain works in centimeters ))

Z: 175 cm (1) Y: 187 cm (1,071=1,04*1,03) C: 175 cm (1) N: 175 cm (1) S: I'm tall enough, thanks! [It’s a bit sensitive topic for her. She’s 164 cm (0,94=0,9x1,045)] 34. Would you rather swim in a lake or in an ocean? Z: A lake. Salty water is not my type. Y: Both are fine. C: I’d rather not, but if I need; the Ocean. N: How about neither? S: Swimming in heavy armor is not good idea. A brook, maybe? 35. What's your type? Z: Bulky nords with beard! Y: My wife. C: Zero negative, but I can eat any blood type. N: Um, people like Tolfdir? S: Someone who’s brave! 36. Any fetishes? Z: Why would I tell you? Y: No. C: I might have some but it’s none of your business. N: None. S: No.

37. Seme or uke?

[I googled what these mean and not going to answer, because my dragonborns don’t know about such things.] 38. Camping or indoors? Z: Indoors. Y: Both. C: Outside. Hunting. N: Indoors. S: Camping? Adventuring! 39. Are you still wanting this quiz to end? Z: I could do other things, yes. Y: It’s indifferent to me. C: Yes. N: If there’s more question, ask. S: Kind of. 40. Well, it's over! Now tag five people to do this.

*Inaudible mumbling, noises of chairs scratching the floor, bootsteps as they leave to their realities.*

[I’m not tagging, I was tagged more two years ago!]

[edgyghxst-blog]

(pt. 2 of my clownery)

so i confronted him then and there and casually asked him about who she was knowing damn well that he was gonna pull some “i don’t know” or “she’s just a friend” type shit. he grabs his phone to ‘prove his point’ that he’s not talking to no females and shows me his insta message inbox and HER CONVO IS GONE just like i knew he was gonna do. so i pull out my phone real quick and sow him the screenshots i took AND HE’S SHOOK and i could read it all over his face that he was not expecting that. so as im waiting for his answer i feel like murdering him on the spot because after all the shit that i put up with before and the shit that i was putting up with then i was not about to just let it go. so he explains away why he was talking to her like that as him being “overly friendly”. the next morning im talking to this girl and ask her what the deal was between him and her and if she knew that i was his live-in gf/cleaning lady and she said that she knew and that she fell for him anyway and she felt stupid for it. so we keep talking and she tells me that they’ve been exchanging pictures the whole time too so i ask her if they were nudes and she’s says that he would send her pics in his boxers I WAS FUMING because he told me they never did that. so i confront him about that too and he says it was never like that and blah blah blah AND I DROPPED IT 🤡🤡 (btw he would comment on her pics too). so i stay living with him and his fam for the next year or so cleaning up after all of them and never getting to have alone time with my bf. even on our one year anniversary his mom and step dad tagged along like it was a family vacay and even got mad at us for wanting our own table. but anyway, a few days after i caught him talking to his ex that he supposedly said he had no communication with but LEMME TELL YOU he was faaaaaar from having no communication with her. he was telling her plenty of explicit things WHILE WE WERE TOGETHER and thank god she didn’t reciprocate. but funny thing is I NEVER COMFRONTED HIM ANOUT THAT AND KEPT ON TRUCKIN 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 so then a few days after that I asked him if i could use his phone to listen to music knowing full well i was gonna snoop they his shit and see who else he was talking to, but he made it so obvious that he was deleting shit because he had the phone in his hands for like ten minutes going thru stuff so i never knew what he deleted. but he handed me his phone and while im in the shower i hear his snapchat go off and i check it once im out and see it’s a half-naked full grown WOMAN sending him pics. so i go out and give him his phone back and he obviously knows somethings up because i walk out of his moms bathroom and straight to his room without even looking at him. his excuse for that one was “she sends those to everyone on her friends list like streaks” and me being a lovestruck dumbass just let it go. for the remainder of the relationship we were good even tho i knew i was being oblivious to the notion that he was probably talking to other females still. but on Christmas night he proposed to me in front of his family! so i thought he had changed and maybe i didn’t need to be so paranoid, but there was always a nagging feeling in the back of my mind. fast forward to a few months ahead and i get news that my sister is pregnant and wants me and my mom out to Minnesota where she lives with her bf so we could be there for when the baby arrives. while im there i get news that my man got a job and moved out with his coworker cousin! i was so proud of him and how he was finally stepping up and becoming the man i knew he was. so being a generous guy he would buy me things here and there and im still grateful for all of it. fast forward again to a few more weeks after the baby is born and my mom gives me the choice to either stay with my sis and help her with the baby or go back to my man and his family even tho he had moved out with his other cousins because one of them worked at the same warehouse he had been hired on to. so i would basically be by myself (to be continued...)

[pilotingthestars]

Feel free to ignore this post. I just need to vent and then maybe I can focus on studying. Rest of post will be below for all you curious people like me. But really it’s boring emotional, relationship stuff (or lack thereof). I also have bad story telling skills. I was advised to write down my thoughts and I feel silly writing it on paper so here they are. Prepare yourself for word vomit.

So, just about 3 months ago, things and I ended terribly with my ex (that’s now the first time I’ve called him that jeez). Let’s call him Rufus from now on since that’s what my grandpa calls him to be mean sorry to anybody actually named Rufus. We had been dating for a little over 3 years when I found on his work phone that he had downloaded tinder and had been using it for a few months. I can never say for sure if he cheated or not; when I found it there was one message from him to a girl and some matches. But, mind you, he had activated it months prior and lied to me about every detail that I did know when I found out. So really, while he says nothing went beyond what I saw, I couldn’t and still don’t believe him (always had a bad habit of not answering his phone and messages too when I wasn’t with him…makes you think). I will sadly forever remember the date this happened because I had just come home from my grandfather’s birthday party in the next city. It was already late that night so I would stay in the guest bedroom upstairs (we had our own house). The next day, I would head to my mom’s in the same city mentioned above which is about an hour away. Told him I needed some space to think on things and of course I wanted to be with my family as emotionally hurt as I was.

Now that I’m away I began thinking of what’s been going on with everything in those months before. The first and biggest thing that comes to mind is the former 3 of those 4 months he had the account before I found it, my grandfather had been critically hospitalized due to a serious fire accident. He is old so the hope that he would pull through was hard to see so I would end up being at the hospital everyday. This would end up being for the next three months because fortunately my grandfather pulled through despite the chances even though it was and still is a long healing process. When I visited him on his birthday, he had just been dismissed from the hospital a couple days prior to live with my mom. Now the idea that Rufus was doing this during that time and never really was there to support me and my family during it, completely pissed me off. Unfortunately, as mad and hurt as I was, I still cared for him. They were feelings I couldn’t just shake; I had thought this was the person I would be with until the end. We had a whole life together…even bought a house together. His family was my family and whatnot.

I never stayed in that house again after that first night of finding out. A few days later, and as chance would have it, I ended up talking to him about everything on valentines day. That night, I told him I would like to take some time apart (very clearly not break up) to help me emotionally handle it on top of staying up with my school and work responsibilities. He appeared to be very sorry and realized the mistake he made and promised he would take the time to self reflect and work on himself to be a better person (ha!). I would then commute from my moms house to town everyday for school and work which was a minimum 1 hour drive one way (1hr 45min if going to work). This was also the time the workload and intensity of my classes was picking up in the semester. Between the now loss of time I had to a commute + the increased school work (double STEM major here) + my lack of sleep + my emotional instability + helping take care of grandpa who at the time still had no use of both hands and was 100% dependent…things went down hill real fast. I began missing my early morning classes, missing quizzes, homework assignments, and even exams. It was the absolute shit show of all shit shows. Somehow I have managed to keep my work out of this mess but barely. On top of all this, my mom didn’t believe him about being sorry and working on things so she created a fake tinder account to see if she would find him on there still despite him having “deleted” it. I will forever be grateful for my mom’s insight and realizing I was being naive before I did. As you can guess, just after a couple weeks, she found him on there. I called him that day and asked how was doing and blah blah, basically getting a story from him that he still wanted things to work out. As I am on the phone with him, I just send him screenshots of his own damn profile just to hear him slowly shut up and realize he’s been caught. I ended it right then.

Fortunately, at the end of the day, the mortgage was solely under his name so I did not have to worry about any legal things there. The car I used was also under his name so I had to quickly find time to purchase my own vehicle since there is no other way of getting out to my work otherwise (it’s a requirement for the job that you have your own mode of transportation – it is too far out in the middle of nowhere for anyone to bike too). Unfortunately, still had to talk to him on and off to get the other bills situated. With everything mentioned above, I told him I wasn’t quite sure at the time when I would be able to move everything out and would probably have to be a few weeks until spring break (the least he could do was ignore my stuff in the house). Well, he took it upon himself to just pack everything up for me. I guess that made the labor part on me easy but, given I still stupidly had feelings, it hurt that he seemed to want all of me gone already. So, then I was officially moved out of there with the exception of a large desk I still have to pick up. It just so happened that that my mom was getting ready to move at this time (into the big city where my grandpa’s doctors are and also where my school and work is) so I didn’t have anywhere to put the desk at the time. We just moved in a couple days ago…that’s also why I didn’t rent myself a place from the beginning because my family and I would end staying together (also I’m broke af with a car payment now).

So spring break goes by and I had a small moment to breathe to finally fully asses the situation as is all i wanted to do from the beginning before finding him on the site again. Now me being the apparent sap that I am, I asked to meet with him so that we could just talk things over once and for all and close on a decent note. Now the one thing I had valued about the relationship, is that I made sure communication was key and I was always upfront with whatever was going on (which I thought he was too but turned to obviously not be the case). So I just let him know every thought and emotion I had whether good, bad, sad, whatever. One thing I noticed and found weird was that he unfriended me on facebook (social media…sigh) even though he never did his prior ex. He said it “hurt too much” with all the reminders and I, again, naively, believed him. I thought it was a good ending convo and we parted ways on okay terms. From this point I’m still trying to handle my stupid emotions and things go back and forth but overall get better little by little. Then I find out that the reason he really unfriended me is because he was in a relationship with somebody else (!!!!) like a week (according to fb) after we ended it. Now that one hurt.

I still had somehow convinced myself that he was sorry and actually cared for me (we were together for years!) so the last thing I expected was for him to move on so quickly. I realize now how dumb I was and I felt so stupid for believing him. I can’t help but think about how long they may have actually been together before it was officially announced on fb but I know those thoughts are useless and I’m trying to ignore them…getting better each day. Far better now actually. As far as I’m aware, he doesn’t know that I know. I plan on picking up that desk next week and I’m not sure what I’m going to say to him. I am at the point now where I just don’t give a shit about him and what he does. Part of me wants to just lay it all down and perhaps tell him off and give him some semblance of this shit he’s put me through. The other half says to just be the better person, get my desk and move on. Last time we talked he said not to be a stranger but I will let him know that he will not hear from me ever again. That much is clear.

Through all of this, my self esteem had been shot. I of course had the usual questions like where did I go wrong or is there something wrong with me. I know these are stupid questions and I believe I’m at the point beyond them now. I know I’ll never really find why he did what he did (never did tell me why other than just say over and over that he made a “mistake”) and that’s okay. At one point I signed up for some of the dating sites. Realized quickly I did not have the emotional capacity to actually meet people and attempt any semblance of a romantic connection with. It was nice for a minute to just talk to people though and see that a perhaps I’m not a total waste of space romantically.

I’ve come around to recognize my worth and realize that a romantic future outside of him is possible. Looking back at what we were, I feel glad that it is over. As my mother had saw (I really should listen to her more often), I also see now that I changed a lot about who I was to fit into his world (his life, his house, his family). One thing that always bothered me (on top of many others I also swept under the rug), was that he never cared to show interest in anything I cared about. It if it wasn’t something he initially found himself interested in, then it didn’t matter despite me always trying to be the good girlfriend and find myself looking into things he liked.

At first I thought it would be hard to get to know people (I was pretty socially reclusive during the relationship) because I was now a different person than I was three years ago (21 to 24). But I realize that’s only because I stowed away my true self for so long. Of course I will say I’ve matured but I’ve been doing a lot of self reflection lately and am re-encountering all the things that I enjoyed prior to all this. One of those is music! I went to a concert the other night for a band I’ve listened to for years (even before him) and it was one of the best nights I’ve had in a long time. Though I have been continuously going to shows, this last one really stuck out and made me realize the the things I want to focus on now. My top priorities are of course my family, my school (future grad student), and my work. But also I want to spend more time going out and exploring more (especially nature), get back into learning music, and just getting to meet new and amazing people! I don’t think I’ve felt this urge to just explore and be happy as I do now; especially as someone whose dealt with depression in the past. I feel now like I have the whole word ahead of me and I think I like the idea of being free.

[hookedleviathan]

This is a story (rant) about a boy

CW / TW - mental health (anxiety, panic attacks, depression, BPD), hospitalization, hooking up, heartbreak

Alright.

So.

I vented to a co-worker for five minutes today and it wasn’t enough.

Let’s call him DEFCON - because that’s a name of a poem I wrote about him that leads up to nuclear destruction, which sounds about right.

I met DEFCON almost a year ago in July through a friend of a friend. We hooked up (by that I mean between making out and having sex because there’s no way my mental health will let me do a one night stand nope) and exchanged numbers and oh yeah I had a panic attack right in front of him like less than 24 hours after meeting him because boys give me anxiety attacks that last for a few days but normally the next morning, not the during. And while he didn’t know what to do or how to respond / help me, he was incredibly sweet.

Flash ahead to November. We’re on our 3rd round of hooking up -- he asks if I’m looking for a relationship. I say yes, because always. He explains that while he’s flattered, he plans to go away to school in Florida (which is very out of state and very gross) and doesn’t want to start a relationship with someone only to lead them on. Super commendable and sweet of him.

Flash ahead to February. Take that cutie petewtie up to my bedroom, have a lackluster hookup, then stay awake for four hours just talking with him. During this talk, I mention my own mental health & help him explore his own. He had the misconception that depression meant feeling a lot of sadness -- I clarified that it also means lack of motivation, sometimes lack of any feelings, low self-esteem... Put shortly, I helped him realize that he has depression. 

I showed him a painting of a rabid, barking dog that I’d recently finished because that’s what I think of when I think of my depression: a dog that I didn’t ask to adopt, that I can’t send to a pound or vet to put down. It’s a beast that may bite me or others, and I am responsible for it, and I must train it, and I can train it. He was awestruck over this painting.

Flash ahead to March. My depression got to be the worst I’ve ever had. I decided to try medication. He and I texted back and forth about our doctor visits and we started on SSRIs on the same day. Like a macabre, dark humor romance story.

Flash ahead to the end of April. He asks if I have a Snapchat. Of course I do because I’m not a cavewoman. I add him. We share some mundane photos. Then, he sends me a photo of himself with the caption “I want to ask you out on a date” I am over the moon -- I’ve harbored so much love and pain with DEFCON, and I was thrilled by the prospect of a date after this handful of hookups.

---Let me also insert: I know that putting in time and energy and love into someone does not mean that they owe you romantic love. My intention was never to “be a good enough friend until we can date”. I have both platonic and romantic interest in this boy, and to have the prospect of growing our relationship in this direction was exciting to me. Because, like, I kinda feel like I could marry this guy. Maybe. But that’s dramatic and obsessive of me ---

Flash forward to the end of May: I’m graduating college, about to move out, about to move into a new place, about to start a new job... and DEFCON notifies me that he got a girlfriend. So I’m crushed.

But it can’t just end there.

The language he used in his text messages to me conveyed that “she’s okay with me still being friends with you”, as if his view of our relationship is conditional, as though suggesting that he’d stop communicating with me because he just got a girlfriend.

He also never once asked how I felt about this situation and never initiated a discussion of what this change in dynamic would mean for our relationship.

So I send him like 500 seconds worth of Snapchat videos of me ranting about how he has been treating me more like a therapist than a friend, that I deserve better, that he needs to show even a fraction of the investment in me that I show in him, that I should matter to him whether or not he has a girlfriend, and that I still care about him and want to work through these difficulties with him.

Flash forward to the start of June: DEFCON texts me to let me know that he is going to the ER for his mental health and will not be reachable for 3-5 days and that he loves me. This is the first time he says these words to me. I know to interpret them platonically -- though there is a part of me that side-eyes that word choice with how our relationship has been going.

Middle of June, around my birthday: he sends me a Snapchat of a pic of a tattoo that he’s designing, then of it a few days later on his arm. It’s a rabid dog. Now, I know that I might be projecting, so I don’t ask too much about it, but I side-eye again, thinking “Huh, well isn’t that familiar...?”

Start of July and yesterday: Radio silence from him, which is typical. If I don’t initiate conversation, I won’t hear from him. Even when I initiate, responses take days. But that’s how it’s always been, and I have other friends with mental health difficulties, so even though I have my own difficulties with self worth and validation, I initiate conversations and interactions with most of my friends.

I reach out and ask how he’s doing. He tells me that he’s been scared to talk to me. When I ask why, he explains that he was recently diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, and he’s been in and out of the hospital for the past month for his mental health. We text back and forth about his changing condition, and I send him a super long text message validating him and saying how proud I am for addressing his mental health, wishing him well, etc etc.

He decides to call me. We talk like it hasn’t been, what? 4 months since I’ve heard his voice? We click right off the bat, and he tells me that I inspire him. He explains that the new tattoo of a rabid dog was inspired by my painting.

So I’m over the moon again. I’m excited to see him again at the end of July.

He sends me his Instagram info saying “it’s important”, so I add him even though now I’ve got like 3 people I’m following because I just made the damn thing a month ago. So I’m scrolling through the feed, and guess what pops up? A Tinder screenshot of girls he’s been chatting with.  

So I’m crying.

And since this social media platform has just become my paddle in Shit Creek, I start rowing. Another Instagram screenshot of a girl asking why he’s on Instagram if he’s been told & understands that it’s no good for his mental health (since people with BPD especially struggle with forming and maintaining constant relationships & self esteem & self image) and he tells her off and writes in the caption that he feels proud for doing so and knows it was best despite her being “an obsession to get over”

So I’m crying again, because I agree with the girl, and also oh yeah been crushing on this boy for a year and also being a good friend to him and oh yeah we’ve still not talked about that April date?

Another Instagram screenshot: a girl opening a convo with “Remember that time I blew you in my basement?” to which he responds “Good times”

So I’m crying harder because I did not want to know that and what? Why did he so badly want me to add him on Instagram? So he could tell me without telling me that it looks like he’s broken up with his girlfriend and he’s looking for some kind of a relationship with some girl?

But I don’t feel broken by it.

It’s probably the SSRIs talking, but yesterday, even when my emotions were rising up, my logic stayed in control. I didn’t feel totally lost and shattered by this. I felt wounded, but still standing. Out of the ashes I rise with my red hair and eat men like air and all that.

And I’m still so willing to forgive him.

And I’m not even upset with him, but I’m upset with myself for letting him have this power over me. I’m upset that I relax all these regulations of friendship for him but wouldn’t dare stay friends with anyone else who would pull this shit. I’m upset with how my own emotional abuse wasn’t enough of a red flag, but finally, seeing how he decides to utilize an application that encourages forming ephemeral relationships despite it damaging his mental health and harming others around him. He is teaching his dog to chew and belch out disposable woman, and I am not okay with that.

I’m not looking forward to seeing him at the end of July at this festival where I’ll be performing poetry, but I know it will happen, and now, I hope to every deity that he’ll be there when I read my poem DEFCON. I hope that I’ll be able to have a long talk with him. I hope that I’ll be able to stand up for myself.

Because for the past year, I’ve continued our relationship the way I want to: with intimacy, support, love, kindness, and asserting frequent contact. But soon, I might have to act the way I need to: by letting him go.

[welcometotheonethatgotaway-blog]

Chapter 1 - 24th March 2017

You get hit by it when you least expect it. And I am not talking about the flu or some similar disease, although considering the outcome one could categorise it as a deadly condition. I’m talking about the over-mediatised topic in shows; the thing we so desirably search for our whole life. The one thing that can destroy or repair us in a matter of seconds. Yes, I am talking about love. Well, what I perceived as love. As you read this you might think that I’m over-exaggerating everything that I’m saying or that I’m making stuff up, but, honestly, I am not. So sit back, relax, and enjoy my longest not-so-love story that lasted all of 2 months.

It all started in such an idiotic manner. It was an innocent night, I was talking to some not-so-innocent people on the internet (don’t think of anything dirty… yet) and just feeling quite bored. At some point I innocently thought to myself: “Hey, I could make some time pass by swiping Tinder. I am not looking for anything in particular, but it’s nice looking at cute faces one in a while”.

So I started swiping (not gonna lie, most of them I swiped left, which, for whoever doesn’t know, means that you don’t want to match with the person that has popped up) and I hopelessly and aimlessly did so for about an hour or two. But from one swipe to another I stumbled upon someone. Nothing went through my mind except the fact that he owned the same onesie that I had. A Star Wars Chewbacca one, £15 from Primark. I thought it was kind of humorous so I swiped right (which means you want to match with the said person) and *drumroll* IT’S A MATCH! For the sake of confidentiality I’ll just refer to him as Rob.

So after matching with this Rob person, I was interested in finding out more about him. So I did what people usually do before swiping right, which is check their profile. By doing this I got to realise that this person I matched with is actually pretty damn adorable, not gonna lie. So I initiated conversation and took the role of the “I’ll text first” person. I made a remark about having the same onesie and we hit it off from there. We played a nice game that I proposed that involves “I ask one question, you ask one question”. And, just how any conversation with me goes, it got to the question of “Do you have snapchat?”. The answer was yes so we moved on to there.

 As a parallel to this story, I use snapchat a lot. And everyone who knows me knows I use it a lot. But most people don’t take the time to think why that is. It’s because nothing stays. Everything is temporary. All the pictures, all the texts. Unless screenshotted, (which shows), or saved, they’re just gone. This gives any insecure person like me, a tiny sense of security. No screenshots of WhatsApp convos, no saved pictures to show, no evidence of anything that’s happened that I won’t know of.

 ANYWHORE, moving on. There were some flirty remarks directed towards me, which felt nice, but at that point I was not looking into anything of the sort. I just wanted to un-bore myself. So we continued snapchatting back and forth for a solid 2-3 hours.

Not to bore you too much I will skip the tens of selfies exchanged in those hours and jump to where it gets interesting.

So it’s about 10:30-ish PM by now, at this point we were talking about meeting up for a coffee or something. I jokingly responded with “What if I come by your place tonight?”… Ok, I totally get how that sounds and trust me when I say it was not what it seems to be. At first I asked that as a joke, anticipating a negative response, but… little did I know that his answer was positive. So, me being me, and being incapable of making decisions, I divert the conversation off subject while thinking hard of what to do. I know I could have just said no because it was too quick and weird or I could say yes because hey, cute boy, never done this before, so why not? But instead of it being an easy decision it took me almost an hour. Overthinking is a bitch and I’m so sorry if you do it too. Anywhore, so I make my decision aaaaaand, well, let's just say THIS is where it all officially starts.

So I text him back saying that I’ll leave my house soon and so I did! Packed up and by 11:30 PM I was outside. No turning back. At this point I was still not fully realising what was happening and what the consequences could be so I didn’t react in any way. But the moment I step foot in the bus I thought to myself: “Crap. I’m going to the other side of London to meet a complete stranger, who can, for all I know, be a murderer, or rapist, or just a general psychopath.” So, having my anxiety levels waaaaay over my limits, I start panicking. I had to call someone. The first person that came to mind was a friend of mine who, as myself, studied in the UK. I’ll refer to her as Steph. So I message Steph that I did something stupid and ask if I could call her and to my luck she said yes. So she asks what’s up and I say: “I did a booboo… Iiiiiii… may-or-may-not-have-met-someone-on-tinder-and-now-I’m-on-my-way-to-meet-him! (heavy breathing) So, I’ll be at postcode *insert postcode here* if I don’t call you in 2 days call the police.” I was legitimately petrified. I did not know what was going to happen, who was I meeting, or better said what kind of person was I meeting and talking to Steph made me feel better. (sidenote: THANK YOU STEPH <3 ) At least I did not have a panic attack in the bus. That part comes later…

So, as soon as I get to the tube station (the place where Rob lives will be kept confidential because, you know, I’m a decent human being?) I take a tube line and change at a station for another tube line and badabing badabong, an hour and a half later I was there! I was genuinely terrified. As soon as the tube doors opened I ran up the already moving escalator stairs, feeling how my chest was getting tighter and tighter and my lungs were receiving insufficient amounts of oxygen. I  rushed out the station door and lit up a cigarette (ironic right?). Freaking out, I called Rob and asked him to come pick me up. And so he did. I was looking out for him and PRAAAAAYING that he’s not taller than me (yes, that’s what I was thinking, judge me). And then, I saw him. But, unlike a normal human being who would let the other person know that you acknowledged them, I turned away and pretended I didn’t see him and let him approach me. When he was about 5 meters away from me I lifted my eyes from watching the floor, to the horizon and there he was. Approaching me, this boy, just as tall as me (or maybe 1 cm taller), with a full gingery beard (by full I don’t mean long, I mean just a really nice one that covered most of his roundy cheeks and just looked soft and all-round beautiful to be honest), a blue beanie that left his short fringe cover his forehead and blue eyes that made me think twice about loving brown eyes. I think you get it the idea that in split second there were fuck ton of things through my mind. I felt something I have only felt once before in my life. I didn’t know what it was. I had a hunch, but I didn’t want it to be true. But I pulled myself together and tried acting normal. Well… ‘normal’. So I half smile and with an awkward wave I shyly speak out: “Heeey”. To which he, with a half smile (which was and is so beautiful and charming that I just couldn’t anymore), replied: “Hi!”. And we hugged, because, quite frankly, I am a hugger, and we begin walking towards his apartment.

I tried to be as open as possible in this time and was kind of trying to cope with everything:

“Hey, just fyi, I’m absolutely terrified and I am so sorry for this.”, I said while showing him how hard my hand was shaking.

“Oh come on, it’s ok. I’m not an axe murderer” he replied in a jokingly way with a slight chuckle.

“Well even if you were then I won’t have any assignments left to do so it’s a win-win situation!” I replied, and we both laughed :) #BestIceBreakerAmIRight?

So we continued walking and walking until we had to take a left down a weird alleyway. Truth be told it was really creepy.

“Uhm WHERE are you taking me?!” I exclaimed. “You want to rape me don’t you?” (obviously said sarcastically).

“Yeah, just ‘round this corner is my rape cave!” he responded (again obviously sarcastic).

And we laughed it off and continued walking and surprise surprise we were at the entrance of his flat! We entered and so it begun.

“Would you like something to drink? Tea? Water?” he asked.

“Some tea would be nice, thanks!” I answered.

“What kind?”

“Whatever you have.” I answered, not sure what else to say since I am so horrible at picking and making a decision.

He then opens a cupboard FULL of tea boxes to which he adds:

“Mate, I’m British. I own a lot of types of tea. So pick. I have…” and he started naming out ALL the kinds of tea he had, to which I respond:

“Just a black tea. Earl Grey if you may?”

“Sure thing!” he replied.

So he made me and himself some nice hot cups of tea, during which we had some small talk (more like me complaining about being a student) and then we went into his livingroom and sat on the blue, obviously worn out, IKEA couch.

“Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll continue my ‘Grace and Frankie’ marathon” he said.

“By all means!” I replied.

“Have you ever heard of this show before?”

“Can’t say I have. To be honest, I don’t really watch tv series nowadays... My free time is spent talking to friends online and playing games”

“Ok so. It’s about…” and he goes on to tell me the main plot of it and what I should know without giving any massive spoilers.

“Ok. Great thanks!” I respond and then we carry one watching.

At that point, even after all I described when we first met and afterwards, I did not want anything to happen. I just wanted a nice, cosy night, where I just waste time with this guy I just met and have a giggle.

While the show went on in the background we began talking and basically making small talk. He seemed like a genuine person. He seemed like one of those people who would just say anything to you in such a manner that it would be 100% true and not hurt as badly as it should. Later on, I came to learn that, although this was true, his decision of being so straight forward was not always the best of things. But, going back to the story line, while meaninglessly talking about random stuff, I noticed that he was paying more attention to me than the show. Me. A stranger. Someone he has just met over a dating app a few hours prior to that. And he was taking an interest into what I was saying. And being nice, even though he told me he was “a massive cunt” (his words, not mine). But I didn’t see a “cunt” that night. I didn’t even see a complete stranger. I saw someone that cared about my story. That cared about what I wanted to say, when few other people did. And that did not change till the end of the story. And for that I will be always grateful. Thank you, Rob. For everything.

At the point when the episode ended there was a slight silence for about 5 seconds, when he jumped out of the couch and said:

“Right. Wanna move somewhere more comfy?”

“Where? This couch is already more comfortable than my bed in my room. At least it doesn’t have a spring going into my back…” I responded with a slight chuckle.

“That couch is nowhere near as comfy as my bed. So, if we may?”

“Sure thing! Leggo!”

And I chugged the remaining quarter of a cup of tea that I had and we switched moved to his bedroom.

Truth be told, he was bragging earlier about how comfy his bed was and how I will fall in love with it once I lay in it. But me, being the bastard that I am, did not believe until I saw, or in this case, felt it. So we get there, I sit down and just exclaim:

“Oh. My. God. You weren’t joking…”

“I told you didn’t I?”

“Yes you did.” Point at which I fall on my back and whisper: “I’m never leaving this bed hooooooly shit…” Rob giggled and sat on the bed.

We then started talking. We talked and talked for a while and it felt amazing. I was thinking to myself: “Wow. He understands me. Or at least he tries to. How is this happening? Why is this happening? What am I feeling right now? Is this ok? Should I continue talking to this person? Am I doing the right thing? Will this come back to me and bite me? Am I really doing the right thing? Why? Why do I keep on talking and sharing stuff some people that have known me for years don’t know and why does it feel so right but so god damn wrong? Why? Ok, just pull yourself together. Don’t freak him out like you do to most people.” Mind you this happened in a matter of seconds. So… I get up and sit next to him and we continued talking. And it got to a point where we almost kissed, but I borderline denied it. I was not ready. And I was not even sure if I wanted that. I didn’t know what I wanted. I kept telling myself that I don’t want anything, but I was feeling the exact opposite. He giggled a bit after I “rejected” the kiss (if you want to use that word) and we moved on with our conversation.

At one point he laid on the bed, facing upwards. So, me being the socially awkward but sometimes ballzy person that I am, I laid there aswell and placed my head on his soft, comfy belly. In that moment I was in bliss. I felt like everything was great and nothing wrong was going on in my life. I felt safe for once in a long while. And that was an amazing sensation.

After a series of conversations he got up to drink some water and check his phone. I took the liberty to place my head on his lap and we continued talking. And this is where something very weird happened. I don’t remember what we were talking about. I don’t remember how the next part happened but I know for sure it did. There’s a blank space in my memory. Like it got wiped out. But… I place my head on his lap and (sigh)… the next thing I know our lips collided. At that point, time just stopped. I could feel the softness of his lips as well as the roughness of his bearded face. I, again, was in bliss. This is one of the only moments that absolutely nothing else went through my mind. It was just me and him. Nothing else. This doesn’t usually happen to me. It takes a lot for someone to make that happen and I was pleasantly surprised it did. Thank you, Rob. For everything.

It was hard to get out of that moment. It truly was. And once I did and I looked at him I felt so vulnerable. I giggled bit. The look he had in his eyes was so precious. I can still see those beautiful, perfect, blue eyes just looking at me like I was a trophy (or so I thought). I felt something I haven’t felt since I was 13. But then it happened again: “Wait. What’s happening? What JUST happened? This wasn’t supposed to happen. Is this ok? Was it the right decision? What was I thinking?! I don’t know this person! But it felt so right though. But was it? What did I get myself into? What am I doing? What if I get too attached again? It was just a kiss. But it felt like it was more than that… Oh God. Ok. Ok. Calm down. It’s gonna be fine. Just calm down. Breathe.”

Luckily I didn’t have a panic attack. I have no clue how I didn’t, but I’ll take it.

After that “event” we talked for a bit and got into bed. Now. Don’t worry. There’s not going to be any gross details because again, believe it or not, I’m a decent human being and I would not like to overshare something that: a) might be WAY too inappropriate, b) would piss off Rob, c) would make people start speculating stuff. Plus, it’s my private life and this story is already letting you peek into one of the most important and private experiences of my life.

 But anywhore, we get into bed and we cuddled and “cuddled” for a good few hours. This was not supposed to happen. This was purely a happy accident and me not thinking straight (*giggle*). I didn’t want anything to happen and I just wanted a chill night without any strings attached, with, you know, clothes on, without it evolving into what it did and most certainly WITHOUT feelings getting involved. But, as always, life surprises you when you least expect it, am I right?

So we did whatever we did (don’t let your imagination drift away too much because most of the things you’re most likely thinking of didn’t actually happen) and we would sometimes stop and chat. And that felt amazing. It wasn’t just “cuddles” for me. It felt like something else. But you know, people don’t always feel the same way you do regarding some stuff.

Ok. Here I’ll go into a tiny bit of detail because I find it quite funny and apparently he did too. So. We were talking and at one point he said:

“Ok, turn on your side.”

“Uhm… Why?” I said with a slightly confused voice.

“Turn over with your back towards me, I wanna spoon you.” He explained.

“Ooooooh okay! Truth be told, I’ve never spooned before.” (yes, I know, I never cuddled till now when I’m 19. And what? Judge me :P )

“Oh my God!” He exclaimed with a slight giggle. “You’re such a gayby!”

This was a completely new term for me and so I asked borderline laughing and in confusion:

“I’m sorry, I’m a what? Baby?”

“Noooo! Gayby. Like baby, but you know on the gay side.”

(Ok. As a side-note, since I want to make this as close to truth as possible, I am not sure if that was the first time he called me that. He might have used it when I told him he was my second boy kiss but hey, I have the memory of a goldfish. AT LEAST I’M TRYING RIGHT?) <=[

So at that point I had my first spooning session (it sounds so sexual but it wasn’t, trust me) and I realised something I have been assuming for years now: “I would soooooo choose to cuddle and spoon with someone rather than, you know, ‘cuddle’.” After that happened, we went back to facing each other. I looked him in the eyes and he was looking back at me. I felt so open. Like had a clear path to my memory and everything I had repressed there. It scared me. But not enough to close up. It was a good kind of ‘scary’. I have never felt so… secure with myself while there was someone else next to me. It’s like all my insecurities disappeared for a minute and I wasn’t worrying about my body or face or anything. I was free. I was safe. At that point I hugged him and whispered:

“Thank you.”

“For what?” he answered with a slight chuckle.

“For everything.” I whispered back to him

And then there was silence. Smiles. A kiss. And sleep.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Grace

Janis: quick question Janis: how good of a lawyer is Mia's dad Grace: he gets paid a lot obvs so like ??! Grace: the type who doesn't lose Janis: hmm Janis: then if anyone asks I was with you yeah Grace: OMG Grace: what did you do Grace: also who's believing you were with me ever Grace: if you want a real sounding alibi ask your bf Janis: nothing yet Janis: but she's already said if I touch her, her daddy will sue 🙄 Janis: sadly he is at work Janis: we could be fighting, don't need to be getting along Grace: so don't touch her! Janis: please Janis: if her dad is any kinda lawyer he ain't taking cases every time his bitchy daughter gets what's coming to her Grace: he's still the kind of dad who'll believe every word she says & overreact Grace: literally don't Janis: idc Janis: she needs to be shown she ain't as untouchable as she thinks Grace: bitch I care Grace: ugh if you have to take her down use something other than your fists Grace: it's not like it's hard Janis: yeah you just don't wanna be embarrassed Janis: sorry 'bout it Janis: and I ain't got any interest getting into that petty bitchiness Grace: I don't want what you do to come back on me Grace: not sorry about it Grace: just be a girl FOR ONCE Grace: I've managed not to hit her ever Janis: I told you, I don't care Janis: this isn't about you Janis: she isn't talking about you, constantly Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: UM hello yeah she is Janis: not that same but Janis: all the more reason to have no issue then isn't it Grace: I don't care about her, duh Grace: you could get in so much trouble for this Janis: I ain't got no priors so good luck to 'em Grace: OMG be serious Grace: how is she worth this Grace: it won't stop her being a bitch Grace: it'll just give her a chance to be a victim Janis: I am Janis: yeah it will Grace: are you gonna kill her? UM I think not Grace: just get over it Grace: this is what she does & she'll get bored Janis: um fuck off Janis: and that's the plan, she'll get bored long before I get tired of kicking the shit out of her Grace: ugh Grace: why are you even telling me about this Grace: if you're not going to listen to anything I say Janis: alibi, like I said Grace: when was the last time I lied for you?! Grace: we were like 5 Grace: I'm literally the worst person to ask Janis: 🙄 Janis: it ain't hard Grace: it's not the point Grace: you think I wouldn't LOVE to hit her Janis: no one's stopping you Grace: she's stopping me Grace: her dad's stopping me Grace: 😱😱 Janis: nah Janis: just an excuse Grace: that I don't want her to ruin my life Grace: sure Janis: you're so dramatic Grace: & she's worse Grace: you literally know that Janis: yeah, you're both all talk Grace: how is this an attack on me now Grace: I'm trying to help you bitch Janis: let's not lie Janis: you've already said this is about yourself Grace: you want me to be sorry for trying to skip more drama with her?! excuse me no Janis: I ain't inviting you to come watch Grace: obvs Grace: that'd be the only worthwhile part so of course you're not Janis: I ain't doing this for you period Janis: idk why you're labouring under that misapprehension Grace: idk why you think I am Grace: I know why you're doing it Grace: you don't know how else to handle literally anything ever Janis: rich coming from you Janis: never handled anything in your life, miss doormat Grace: whatever Grace: if it's not about me don't drag me into it Grace: or drag me at all Janis: get over yourself and don't be a snitch Janis: that's what family does Janis: all you have to do is say I was home, you know the drill Grace: you don't get to play the fam card every time you wanna bully me into something Grace: get over yourself Grace: ask one of the others Janis: newsflash, you ain't being bullied Janis: but fine Grace: fine Janis: Jesus, we all know you're gonna make friends again in a day or two Janis: she wouldn't blame you would she Grace: duh Grace: for some reason SHE'S always been under the misapprehension I can control anything you do Grace: god knows why Grace: it's worse when we aren't friends so Janis: well likewise Janis: so go kiss and make up if you're so against this Janis: get her off my back Grace: I've already told you I'm not Grace: I just don't want you to do it Janis: 👍 Janis: makes sense Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: can you just NOT Janis: no Janis: take it up with her Janis: she's the one who's forced my hand Grace: okay Grace: I will Grace: what did she do? Janis: ha Janis: you're alright Grace: fine Janis: you don't get to play the fam card either, babe Grace: I'm not even Grace: I'm playing the her ex-best friend card Grace: but sure Janis: how has that ever helped me Grace: excuse you Grace: I've done so much damage control for you literally all the time Janis: oh yeah dead worth it that Janis: dying for her approval and deffo got it Grace: ugh Grace: yeah cos that's the goal Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: what was the goal Janis: 'cos you failed either way Grace: not ending up here Grace: this is what happens when I'm not there to do it duh Grace: she gets even more extra Janis: so Janis: I wanna slap the cunt Grace: I can't stop you Grace: so do I Janis: don't try then Janis: laters Grace: whatever babes Janis: ✌ Grace: 👋 Grace: [a bit later] Grace: okay Grace: I'll do it Janis: do what Grace: you can say you were with me Janis: tah Janis: was gonna anyway but nice to know you ain't gonna shop me Grace: how rude Grace: you can't ask me & then do it anyway if I say no Janis: well don't need to now do I Janis: 👍 Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: she's stupid enough to come meet me she lowkey deserves it yeah Grace: has she said she will Janis: yep Janis: probably thinks I'll finally fuck her or something Grace: eww Janis: I know Janis: either that or she's really that delusional and thinks she can win Grace: obvs Grace: like you said babes, she thinks she's untouchable Grace: that you won't do anything besides threaten her Grace: 👑 bitch Janis: yeah well Janis: she's never known me like she reckons has she Grace: duh nobody knows you Grace: just that boy of yours Grace: she wishes Janis: yeah Janis: enigma, me Grace: mhmm Janis: what's her deal anyway Janis: seriously Grace: I'm gonna need you to be more specific Grace: more issues than Vogue isn't just a t-shirt slogan in her case Janis: 🙄 Janis: nah but Janis: why is she such a miserable bitch all the time Grace: the daddy issues you think I have Grace: all Mia Grace: her mum's a highkey bitch too but idk if it's better or worse when she's here or working away Janis: hmm Janis: not enough of a reason, sorry Mia Grace: she doesn't need a reason Grace: she likes being a bitch Janis: obviously Janis: how long she reckon it'll keep her going though Janis: gonna have to form a personality one day Grace: her dad's got enough money she doesn't need one Janis: that'll only work on other shit people Janis: and even then, limited time Grace: duh 💍 a rich boy who doesn't have one either Grace: hook up with all his friends Grace: kids so she gets more 💸💸 in the divorce Janis: then she'll have shown mummy and daddy Janis: by being exactly like them Janis: as bad as this fam Grace: yeah obvs Janis: she got any fit cousins she could hit up? Grace: eww Grace: she doesn't have any cousins or I'd have hit them up by now Janis: just saying, sounds exactly like mckenna Janis: and eww, yourself, gracie Grace: don't even eww me babes Grace: you have your ways of getting revenge on her & I have mine Janis: thought you didn't want to be like her Grace: I don't want to be a lot of things Grace: 🤷🤷🤷 Janis: 🙄 Janis: no one is making you fuck her imaginary cousins Grace: I didn't say they were Janis: then don't Grace: I'm not doing anything Janis: chat shit Grace: says you Janis: fuck off Janis: you blab, I do Grace: sure babes Janis: Take a picture if you like Janis: told you you ain't coming Grace: She'll take 100s Grace: it's fine Janis: doubt it Janis: no facetuning this Grace: like I said, she'll love getting to play the victim Grace: thinking she can turn me against you like I'm so 💔💔💔 Grace: I'll see it all Janis: enjoy then Grace: thanks Janis: the least you could do, tbh Grace: what does that even mean Janis: means I only have to deal with her at all 'cos of you Janis: so I ain't gonna feel sorry for you about it, like Grace: literally did not ask Grace: there's no reason to feel sorry for me anyway Janis: well, you did Janis: see above Grace: no I didn't Janis: whatever Janis: you always do Grace: literally don't Grace: ever Grace: but 👌👌 Janis: probably want to work on that then, don't you Grace: sure thing babes Janis: 👌 Grace: are you going now? Grace: or when Janis: already there Janis: probably still picking her outfit Grace: well you don't wanna get blood on just anything Janis: 🙄 Grace: 🤷 Janis: right Janis: she's here Janis: remember our deal Grace: we only just made it Grace: I'm not that stupid Janis: I mean, no backing out Janis: like you said, she'll be coming at you for sympathy, no switching sides and dropping me in it Grace: v hilarious Grace: that's never worked on me, babes Grace: me switching sides is never about her Janis: [fight] Grace: ugh she's messaging me already Grace: have you even left yet Janis: barely Janis: not sticking around though Grace: where are you going? Janis: idk yet Janis: just running Grace: barely anyone's home if you wanna make the most of that Grace: later or whatever Janis: yeah Janis: maybe Janis: it's an adrenaline thing Janis: you wouldn't know Grace: obvs not Janis: what's she saying then Grace: nothing you need to hear Grace: I don't need to either Grace: so cringe so boring Janis: go on Janis: how's she spinning it Janis: like I attacked her out of nowhere Janis: not that I gave her warning and she still showed up Grace: duh Janis: 😂 Janis: good thing I screenshotted before she could delete that convo Grace: she uses screenshots against everyone herself Grace: so stupid Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: she is Janis: rather chat shit on me than be smart about it Janis: her own fault Grace: yeah Grace: like I said I'm not 💔💔 Janis: obvs Janis: her dad can't be either Janis: it's all there in writing Grace: she tried to call him & he didn't pick up Grace: or she's telling me that to add to her sob story idk Janis: seriously Janis: she's such a pussy Grace: not news babes Grace: I've known her forever Janis: so have I Janis: unfortunately Grace: 🤞 you're cancelled to her now Janis: like to think she's not as highkey as Harry Janis: not even seen my tits, calm down Grace: nobody's as highkey as him Grace: I have the ugly tattoo to prove that Janis: 😂 Grace: ugh Grace: also lowkey offensive that they've both seen my boobs & aren't as about me Grace: so rude Janis: 🤔😏 Janis: knew it Grace: at least Ri can't be extra if I get a boob job Grace: she's all about body confidence Janis: let yourself finish puberty first bitch Grace: like I'm gonna get a last minute rush to make me hot Grace: oh please Janis: 🙄 Janis: better get a job Janis: not cheap Grace: or a sugar daddy Grace: Too late for Mia's dad now which is tragic Janis: how you gonna do that uggo Grace: bitch you better be calling him ugly & asking about my technique Grace: if you're calling me ugly I'll actually kill you Janis: you said it first Janis: I'm just agreeing Grace: thanks so much Grace: you're the worst Janis: don't say thing you don't mean Grace: I mean it Grace: but that doesn't mean I want it confirmed by you Janis: never been here to make you feel better Janis: soz Grace: obvs Grace: I've known you forever too Grace: you don't need to tell me that, babes Janis: sounds like you forgot Grace: how & why could & would I Janis: fishing for compliments, like Grace: it was a threat, honey Grace: I need your fake compliments as much as I need your real rudeness like Janis: nah Janis: way before that Janis: and you've forgotten who you are if you're threatening me Grace: oh please Grace: when? Janis: really Janis: we aren't rehashing this whole convo Janis: it's done Grace: we aren't rehashing it cos I've literally never wanted never mind tried for a compliment from you Janis: like I said, gonna wanna work on that then Grace: no thanks Janis: then deal with the fact that's how you come across Janis: no real bother to me either way Grace: I could care less how I come across to you Grace: so again no thanks Janis: ain't me Grace: you're the only one saying it rn Grace: nobody else is Janis: 👍 Janis: not to your face Grace: I'll add it to the list of things people are saying behind my back then Grace: thanks so much Grace: like I don't know what is said about me Janis: stop acting so surprised then? Grace: I'm not Grace: I'm over having to hear it Grace: especially from you Janis: 💔 Grace: sure Janis: you are Janis: keep telling you, do something about it Grace: I keep telling you, leave me alone Grace: I don't need your pro tips babes Janis: clearly do Grace: you obvs wish Janis: nah Janis: it's a real pain in the arse Grace: feel free to leave my inbox any time Janis: why should I Grace: cos it's such a hardship for you Grace: keep complaining though Grace: love that Janis: nah, you're a hardship Janis: you ain't going anywhere Janis: this is easy Grace: 💔 Grace: 🙏 for my death bitch that's worked really well for you up to now Janis: works in mysterious ways, init Grace: obvs Janis: always tomorrow Grace: 🤞🤞 Janis: 'til then Grace: 👌 Janis: you'll just have to get over it, yeah? Grace: mhmm Janis: if she ever gets hold of her dad, fill the 'rents in Grace: ew no Janis: 🙄 Janis: just tell them she's bullshitting, is all you have to do Grace: no Grace: I've had enough of them both being extra Janis: well they'll be even worse if you let them freak out Grace: they aren't gonna be freaking at me Grace: so whatever Janis: me either Janis: so go off Janis: have fun Grace: will do Janis: 😏 Grace: 🙄 Janis: can you manage to pass on one tiny message at least Grace: I could I just don't want to Grace: like I said Janis: okay just show your screen to 'em Janis: 👋 don't wait up lads Grace: tell them yourself Grace: you typed it out to me, pass it on Janis: nah Grace: 🤷🤷🤷 Janis: see Janis: you always backdown first Janis: own it Grace: that's me saying I don't care if you don't Grace: nothing else Janis: sure Grace: when you get 100s of calls from dad cos I haven't told him you will be yeah Grace: have fun with that Janis: I can survive without my phone Janis: imagine that Grace: so proud 💕 Grace: I'm sure your boyfriend will be thrilled Janis: I'm sure you know nothing about him Grace: 💔 Janis: mhmm Grace: only that I won't have you in my inbox once you're phoneless Grace: really tragic Janis: back to it being just Mia Janis: like the good old days Grace: she wishes Janis: I'm sure Grace: bye then Janis: ttfn Grace: 👋

[pandabearlikes]

Observations and Predictions about Episode 9

First off, I think we didn’t get a full preview because episode 9 will be a pivotal one.  We did get glimpses due to the screenshots they put in after episode 8, so with those and previous instances in the series in mind, I compiled some predictions and observations.  ^-^ Reminder, everything is just my own thoughts.  Also, spoiler alert, please do not read if you don’t like spoilers.

1. MinHyuk and GookDu will arrive at the same time (or one shortly after the other, MinHyuk first)

2. BongSoon has already fought off most of the men ^^ Notice men down and the two arriving at scene

3. GookDu realizes BongSoon’s strength, MinHyuk is shocked by multiple things (1. Again, perhaps, still a little by BS’s strength xD Like, he knows she’s powerful, but it’s still astonishing to him.  his peanut-sized king kong K.O. hundreds of men ^-^ 2. Mix of emotions, seeing her okay after almost having a heart attack from worrying about her and having to track her down. [lol, gurl hung up on him after telling him her mom got kidnapped] but now realizing his love rival knows about her strength too or 3. Prediction: Some sore loser thug will use a knife against BongSoon and try to attack her from behind) << which is likely, considering both their expressions contain a sense of fear more than surprise/shock  <<EDIT: After teaser 9 trailer and how MinHyuk says, “That’s a relief you didn’t hurt yourself”, I think Bongsoon knocked something during her fight and a foundation of the garage building will fall on her an MinHyuk will cover her and get hurt. Looks like it was a mistranslation and MinHyuk just reveals he’s glad BongSoon didn’t get injured.

Prediction 1: Thug will attack from behind/use knife against BongSoon (maybe that one who lost his teeth, you know how he was trying to use that cane on her and the Thug Boss was like he brought out his “ultimate weapon”, I think that cane has a secret knife at the end or something (?))

Prediction 2: MinHyuk will rush forward, instinctively, and take the stab/attack for BongSoon (hence, why he is hospitalized) [I think director will make GookDu run forward too, but MinHyuk will beat him to it, while GookDu pulls BongSoon out of the way, to safety and/or charges at the attacker.  So they both “save” her, but in different ways, which I think kinda fits their characters.  Like, MinHyuk is the type to use himself as a shield to guard his loved ones [ultimate defense mechanism].  GookDu is more trained as a police and in the sense that he knows if he wants to protect someone, he needs to protect himself and not get hurt and become a burden too.  He also seems like the type to pin down the enemy and make sure he/she is incapacitated so that the people he wants to protect can make their escape [defense and offense mechanism].

Prediction 3: MinHyuk is rushed to hospital, BongSoon is crying in worry.  GookDu is busy observing BongSoon, mixed emotions of fondness for her strength, but utter confusion and thinking, "What in the actual world? We’ve been friends for 15 years and I never knew about your strength?  Like, all those thug reports about you beating them up is real, while I kept denying them and defending you.  Wow, I can’t believe you are that strong and I kept calling you ‘weak’  I am a fool."  BongSoon continues to mope.  Doctors will probably tell BS and GD that MinHyuk is in stable condition.  GookDu, unable to make sense of his emotions or anything, will drag a sobbing BongSoon off to a corner to talk with her.  

In this screenshot, you see a hospital like background and GookDu dragging Bongsoon away.  We know it’s GookDu because of the stripe pattern of his shirt. [feels like director will make his emotions run high and he will scold her like how he normally does >< please don’t though OTL.  Directors, you are seriously wasting talent here, argh. ISTG if they make GD force kiss BS, imma flip the table]  GookDu will confess his feelings during convo.  

Prediction 4: After BongSoon/GookDu chat, whatever the conclusion will be, BongSoon goes to check on MinHyuk, who is already awake and deep in thought.  During his time alone, he too, has been replaying the series of events in his head over and over again.  

He comes to full realization that, BongSoon is indeed the girl in the pink hoodie who saved him from the bus accident, 8 years ago.  She is his muse and the reason he has been staying strong all these years through countless struggles.  She is the reason he started to believe in miracles again.  She is the reason why he stopped living a reckless life, including stopped serial dating.  Everything has come a full circle but now, everything seems like a dream.  BongSoon enters the room and displays tender care for him.  In fact, she has known, since that time they rode on the bus, that MinHyuk’s savior was herself. 

Prediction 5: MinHyuk will confess his feelings.  BongSoon is a confused potato because now she has two guys who one after another, confessed their feelings…worse part, she has/had feelings for both. She won’t reply to either/asks for time to sort out her feelings.  One, for GookDu, she’s waited 15 years to hear his words.  Two, she’s confused and rattled by her own indecisiveness because she thought after waiting for so long and getting the result she could only ever dream of, would make her hop around in rainbows and sparkles, but instead, she’s burdened and almost opposed to this idea because she had just started to let go of her affections for GookDu.  Also, now, we have MinHyuk’s confession, which she may be just as burdened because of timing, because of all the realizations and seemingly fairytale full circle of fate that just seems too surreal to be true.  She knows she’s developing feelings for him, but she can’t get herself to admit it out of fear that she’s inadequate or that if they are together, she’ll continue to hurt him or get him hurt [think about it, she kept saying she will protect him, but instead, he keeps protecting her and getting himself injured].

Prediction 6: Two possible reactions from BongSoon’s mom: 1. Either she will scold BS and tell her how dumb and useless she is to fall for voice phishing and reprimand her for not protecting MinHyuk.  BS may burst out at her mom again and reveal to her that she’s hurt too.  Her heart hurts so much seeing people hurt on her behalf/ due to her inability to use her power at significant times or 2. BongSoon’s mom is ready to scold, out of habit, but sees BS’s breakdown/hurting and self-blame and instead, takes off her own bullying mask/strong-front, to console her daughter.  There is a level of understanding only women of the Do family can provide one another, after all.  [Hoping for #2]  

Prediction 7: MinHyuk will start to back away from BongSoon, because he also wants to sort out feelings.  Yes, he loves the girl who saved him eight years ago, who he believes is the angel his mom sent to protect him, but he also wants BongSoon (and himself) to know, that, that’s not the sole reason for his love.  He was smitten by BS even before he realized she was his savior.  On the other hand, GookDu, who has been oblivious about everything for the whole series (and like 15 dayum years prior to that), finally, starts to make his move and tries to take that step closer to BongSoon.  [Timing, though, hun, everything in life is about timing.  You snooze, you lose.]

Prediction 8: This may not happen in next episode, but I do see the director possibly trying to make a connection between the kidnapper and the main leads.  IDK, what it is, but I get a hunch that MinHyuk [and BongSoon] is connected to the kidnapper more than they think.  Like, it’s too many hints and coincidences in a drama to just brush it off.  I mentioned it in a previous post when I first started watching the series, I thought the directors were trying to hint that MinHyuk was the kidnapper haha.  [Ex. His dislike of police officers, his attachment to hiding in secluded areas {hiding in closet and building a secret safe haven dungeon within his closet vs kidnapper’s attachment to imprisoning the girls}, their one-meal philosophy, MinHyuk’s fascination with the kidnapper’s wit, MinHyuk even stating, “When I was younger, I wanted to be the culprit”.  Also, remember how BongSoon and his brother almost got kidnapped when they were younger.  Something tells me, these events are somehow connected (?)  Like, I mean it could just be a theme the director keeps throwing out too.  But, maybe there will be some backstory where when MinHyuk was younger he got kidnapped or saw someone (maybe BS and brother) get kidnapped and he tried to call the cops for help but they brushed him off…that’s why he hates cops so much.  [Well, that and how his gangster father got chummy with the cops and law enforcements so he thinks all are dumb and corrupt].  If the former prediction is true, the guy who keeps kidnapping the girls may also have been kidnapped when he was young, and MinHyuk and him were imprisoned together and crossed paths, and that’s how they share a similar trauma.

Observation 1: By the way, there was a mention of kidnapper being really bad with knives, that’s why he accidentally killed the first girl he wanted to kidnap.  I think there’s a connection to how BongSoon’s mom had fortune read by the monk about how one with strength, can’t beat one with knife.  Is this a foreshadow of BongSoon trying to catch kidnapper…and possibly coming into some type of danger?

Observation 2: Love the whole symbolism with the pink hoodie. It’s the thing that helps MinHyuk recognize his savior but more importantly, it’s the thing that pushes BongSoon to find pride in her strength, because it is, in fact, a STRENGTH, not a flaw or weakness or something to be hidden.  The pink hoodie is something her grandmother gave her to remind her to be proud of her power.  For generations, women of the Do Family, have treated their powers as something special but should be suppressed.  Especially, after BongSoon’s mom messes up and used her power selfishly, she loses it completely.  Her actions were viewed as a disgrace and her own self-shame leads her to constantly and unfairly reprimand and “control” BongSoon.  In fact, the mom just doesn’t want BongSoon to be pegged as a disgrace, like her, but because of this, she has drilled into BongSoon’s mind that her strength is a curse and she must suppress and hide it.  When BongSoon wears the hoodie to stop the bus, it’s the first time she realizes her strength can help people - though, at that time, she brushes it off like it’s not big deal.  But it is a big deal!  She saved so many lives, including MinHyuk’s.  MinHyuk’s gratefulness, admiration, and constant encouragement throughout the series was able to make BongSoon finally accept that her power is god-given and a BLESSING not a curse!!!!!!  That is why she brought her hoodie out again (T^T)

Random Observation 1: BongSoon’s mother keeps telling BongSoon to not bully people with her strength.  She especially gets angry when she hears rumors of her bullying students into giving her lunch money.  Again, this is a self-shame thing.  Her mom is afraid BongSoon will make the same mistake she has in the past.  She links that bullying students for lunch money thing as the reason why she, herself, was punished and lost her power.  During the scene with the granny, mom, and BongSoon, they even contemplate whether BongSoon’s mom will ever get her powers back.  To be honest, BongSoon Omma, you ain’t gonna get your powers back if you abuse your family and beat up your husband.  It has nothing to do with the lunch money incident (or maybe that was the ONE incident that got her punished for misusing her power) but she hasn’t gotten it back because she still has the tendency to bully others, whether verbally or physically, due to her own insecurity.  I think, though, in the end of the series, due to BongSoon’s example of using her strength as a positive attribute to help others, not to hurt others, her mom will learn to cherish her family too, and that’s when God will grant her, her powers back ^-^

Random Observation 2: MinHyuk’s worry for BongSoon’s safety should not be misinterpreted as him thinking she is weak.  He’s protectiveness is a source of reflexive, unconditional love, and understanding.  He knows she is strong but not invincible, especially against weaponry.  Also, he knows she is impulsive but compassionate and gullible.  

Anyways, can’t wait for next episode!! ^-^ Message me and spaz with me!  I love this drama so much.

Share with me what you think??