#i have plenty of stuff in my drafts already lol

[aew-regression-cove]

list of posts I haven't made yet but am debating/working on :3

CG Gambit StimBoard

CG Gambit Moodboard :D

CG Gambit Headcannons

CG Eric Draven StimBoard

CG Charles Xavier Headcannons (I have some but wanna add to them)

CG Deadpool Headcannons (again I have some but wanna add)

Regressor Peter Maximoff Moodboard

CG Ellen Ripley fic

Christopher Robin StimBoard

CG or Regressor Wolverine stuff (not got any specific ideas rn as I already have a Moodboard in my drafts)

CG Neo StimBoard

Regressor Jubilee Moodboard

[changeling-droneco]

Hi I'm that person who made the original post about "no doesn mean no" when a small bit of the mr beast company document was leaked, well, now we have the full document (thanks rosanna) so I'm going to go over it. Please note I am not a lawyer or a business man, I'm in college for psychology, so I might misunderstand some things or make the wrong conclusion. However, if this is a document made for the average mr. beast employee, if I cannot understand it properly, then im sure some employees also struggled

First of all, the opening paragraph. Like I get it's supposed to be like, to put people at ease, but

This is so strange? Like, first of all, this is your EMPLOYEE MANUAL, you should have run it through like, a spell check? Or had someone edit it? This is already incredibly unprofessional. Also the promising of a thousand dollars if you pass a quiz on it? It's bizarre and I'd love to see if it's an actual quiz.

Jimmy, hun, please god get an editor for this you're already trying my patience.

YOU SHOULD, you genuinely should, while interconnected these are all COMPLETELY different jobs, if you think you could write a separate manual for each branch you SHOULD

I'm sure I'm about to get an answer but what the fuck is the best YOUTUBE video then? If it's not comedy, its not production, its not quality, its not look, then what the hell is left? (monetization, it's monetization)

First of all, Jimmy, why are you using internet lingo in this, it's not a text message, this is not a place for, idc, and lol, and not capitalizing your headers correctly??? Also like I said, he's chasing trends for monetization, and also he's just wrong, there are plenty of hollywood level shows and the like on youtube. You fully admit you do not care about trends and actively rush things?

This is just fucked??? Like of COURSE IT MATTERS??? Results based company is bullshit, your employees that worked for five weeks and failed aren't "lesser" then James, it's a structural failure! They still worked for HOURS to try and succeed?? That shows merit and loyalty??? What the fuck???

Rosanna covers this one in her video but it's worth restating that this is FUCKED??? It's clear overwork "your job is your family" culture. Especially the use of the word obsessive? If you do not OBSESS over your work, you are considered poisonous. NO WONDER we have so many reports of employees doing things they feel is dangerous or unsafe, if they don't they're considered POISON to the company.

The formatting in this doc continues to fucking kill me, what are you DOING man GET AN EDITOR

This feels like such an easy fix of just...make the thumbnail after the fact? Or only make a rough draft of one first? Like if production makes a red bouncy castle instead of a yellow one, that feels like an easy fix to the thumbnail OR a communication error, and again, that's on management

A lot of the next stuff is like analytics stuff that for the most part I can't really speak on as someone who does not do any of this stuff. There are a few things though

Which like???? what??? a lull??? what do you mean "watching a video without even realizing they are watching a video??" That doesn't scream good or even mediocre content to me. If I'm actively tuning out as I watch a video, that's bad. Especially because there have been plenty of times I've been like half way through a video i go "hey this sucks actually" and click off. They actively want their audience to not be paying attention to the video so it runs all the way through, that's kinda pathetic.

I don't actually know if this is common or not in this industry, but as an outsider this seems INCREDIBLY micromanaging to me, to an immense degree.

Jimmy why are you putting swears in your employee manual?? sir??? and also something about this whole thing icks me out, I don't quite have the words but the whole emphasis on "im different im special no one else can be me" just reeks of something kind of manipulative

Why is production changing so much Jimmy??? Infinite growth is the mindset of a cancer cell Jimmy! This is incredibly unstable working conditions! Also again with the word obsession, if you take time out of your own day on your own time to watch hulu, that's seen as not being obsessed enough for the company. This is nonsensical!

Again, this is INSANELY micromanaging, and also so fucking unhinged??? "God himself couldn't stop you from making this video on time" is NOT a healthy work mindset, things HAPPEN!!!

In this segment he's actually talking normal things but I did just want to highlight his use of "freaken" who the hell puts that in an EMPLOYEE MANUEL

Again with the micromanaging, and the immense pressure on employees for problems OTHER people do. While he's not fully wrong that you should be in more contact with the contractor then the example, this is too much in the other direction. How much time in the day does he think people have?!

My kingdom for a fucking paragraph break dude, my fucking eyes. Also this is a lot of "im so great and do everything and you should do more for me and if i dont know something that's your fault" for something titled "I am not always right"

I'm getting lazy with my highlighting, but again, the micromanaging? If you're SOOO busy, the first question should be the ideal? it's quick and makes a quick decision, while the second one meanders and meanders

Again, Jimmy is pushing blame for HIS mistakes on OTHER PEOPLE. For again, a section called "i am not always right" hes taking NO accountability for that and just making the SAME excuses he's berating in other places.

I can't even tell what he means here AN EDITOR JIMMY

Autism Hell tm, PLEASE email me so I can DOUBLE CHECK IT, things in writing are SO useful

Again the language towards "C-Players" which as mr beast has said, are the people who y'know, are NORMAL employees who DON'T live and breathe this company

Okay first of all, a Lamborghini is like 300k so that's already A REALLY hard task, and i sure hope don't usually put typos in the tasks. SECOND of all the fact he thinks its okay to go "hey if the studio is literally on fire around you and you stop working to get the Lamborghini, you're not doing good enough" even if he claims it as a joke is NOT OKAY what the FUCK

We've covered this before, but to reiterate this segment is named after a sexual assault reference when it could have been named ANYTHING ELSE and harasses employees and pressures them to break rules, don't do that.

I'm not an editor, so maybe this is normal, but as someone from the outside it seems strange to put this much emphasis on dividing focus between so many videos at once.

Jimmy, hun, are you paying extra for this? Because if I'm an editor and you want me FILMING stuff then i want to be paid more for doing TWO jobs and I probably still wont be as skilled a TRAINED CAMERA MAN

First of all now THAT'S a type, consteatants. Also the fact they are aware that leaving contestants out in the sun is bad, why are you not doing MORE TO STOP IT BEYOND "hey maybe giving them three hours of heatstroke is bad, try only two next time"

Don't we love favoritism, more shitty unprofessional writings, and a completely unstable work environment?

If your people have to pull all nighters period something is wrong, and if something happens to an employees car that could have seriously hurt someone, i sure hope you care more then just "LOL FUNNY" Who's picking up the broken glass? Who's reimbursing the car owner? That one meme of "your first care should be commitment to the bit" is a MEME jimmy, it's not ACTUAL ADVICE

Ah shit I hit image limit, well, you've seen enough screenshots to know these are screenshots, we're almost done I'll put them in as quotes

"Let’s say you are tasked with finding us a castle to live in for 50 hours and while doing research you find a castle and a number to call for the owner. So you do call, and he answers. Only problem is he says he quit the castle renting business to pursue his dream of building a 100 foot tall lego catapult. You can obviously tell where i’m going with this. Ideally you’d recognize that’s badass as fuck and try to convince him to let us use it when we do find a castle. This is a bad example because it’s so obvious but if you’re doing your job right you will be doing an absurd amounts of calls and data collecting. While trying to complete your prios and prepare for the video you should always be on the lookout for new things you can bring to your creative team to inspire them. Because just like me, they don’t know what they don’t know and you can’t just say “i’m in production and i’m not very creative” because that’s literally the equivalent of saying I suck at what I do. You also need to apply this same mindset when problem solving because many people lose sight of this stuff when in the weeds. If a problem appears, always always always ask yourself if your new plan is whats best for creative, not just the easiest bandaid."

First of all it's really funny seeing all the red lines pop up, second of all this insistent blurring of everyone's job seems so strange? Again maybe this is normal, but it really feels like Jimmy wants everyone working every job, instead on focusing on what they are actually hired to do.

"What is the goal of our content?

To excite me. The goal of our content is to excite me. That may sound weird to some of you, especially if you’re new but to me it’s what’s most important. If I'm not excited to get in front of that camera and film the video, it’s just simply not going to happen."

That's fucking weirddddd, like I get that he's trying to be like "im authentic" but it always feels like a bad sign when the goal of a company is literally just "What amuses the boss" like...bad sign

"this is youtube and there are constraints. You know the video can’t be a minute so you’re obviously going to need a story to hold the viewers and there are rules to storytelling. Our audience is massive and because of that you have to be simple, for 50 million people to understand something it must be simple. Content can be anything but there is structure and rules that we must mold it into that I want to teach you about, because virality doesn’t just happen. Every frame of our videos will be seen by 10s of millions of people"

Gross

"I'd say the average MrBeast viewer is a teenage memer that likes video games."

Mr Beast is completely aware of his demographic and puts screen shots of it, he is very aware his stuff is aimed at kids, even when its about gambling or hiring people not around near minors

"I feel silly for having to write this but all the time I talk to 32 new people that have at most seen like 5 or 6 of our videos and it’s mind blowing that they don’t see a problem with that lol."

It's almost like your audience is teenage memer and that people who working here are not in fact, teenage memers.

"What you consume on social media, when you watch youtube, tv, the games you play, etc. are what I like to call your information diet.

How do you stay up to date on the latest memes? How do you know what’s going on with celebrities? What’s trending on youtube? What other creators are doing? What’s popping on tik tok? Your information diet. Consume things on a daily basis that help you write better content."

If my job as a creative writer had my boss tell me to have to see whats "popping on tik tok" as part of my job i'd quit also again, the micromanaging of someone's life as well pops up again, it's weirddd

"It’s okay for the boys to be childish

If talent wants to draw a dick on the white board in the video or do something stupid, let them. (assuming they know all the risks and arn’t missing context on why it’s not safe) People like when we are in our natural element of stupidity. Really do everything you can to empower the boys when filming and help them make content. Help them be idiots"

More favoritism

"If you’ve made it this far you are probably at least semi interested in this being your career. So I wanted to chat about it. Because if you're ambitious and want to dedicate your life to work, you picked the best company in America to do it at. I really don’t care to hoard a bunch of money and I deeply believe in rewarding the people that help this business get where it needs to be. But before I get into that, let’s talk about the future. As I write this we have 2 teams, that will grow to 4 in the next year. (and possibly 8 in the next 2 years but I can’t talk about that cause james will kill me haha). We need more leaders in the company. Weneed hard working, obsessive, coachable, intelligent, grinders that can step up and take some of these leadership spots over the next 2 years. Every single department has an opportunity for you to grow in and you’re in luck because we don’t do yearly reviews. We do whenever the fuck you want reviewes"

Lack of communication from management, and more emphasis on grinding and crunch culture, goodie, all while riddled with typos! God.

"I see a world where this company is worth billions and one day 10s of billions. And those of you that help build this will be rewarded. I want nothing more then for you to go all in, obsessive all day everyday, and become so god dam valuable this company can’t operate without you. And in return for becoming so valuable I hope to give you incredible experiences, a fun place to work, and of course, more money then you could ever dream of making at any other company."

I feel like I'm reading a fucking pyramid scheme document here, "youre so so valuable spend literally every minute of every day on this company haha" good GOD man

[puckpocketed]

5/08/2023 - Berkly Catton captains Team Canada to gold at the Hlinka Gretzky Cup, leading the tournament with 8 goals and 2 assists in 10 games || 19/01/2024 Meet the Future - Berkly Catton named Team White's captain for the CHL/NHL Top Prospects Game || 5/07/2024 - Berkly Catton signs his ELC with the Seattle Kraken

Introduction, quotes/transcripts/bits and pieces under the cut!

I can't even begin to describe how jazzed I am that Berkly Catton got drafted to a team I already love. I wrote in my Sharks off-season roundup that I was hoping against hope Catton would drop to 14th overall (back before we had moved up to 11th) and the Sharks would snap him up, as unlikely as it was that they'd try to gather more firepower when we sorely needed defensive prospects. I'm so glad I got my wish one way or another <3

Krakenblr you will LOVE this dude. He's such a star. Such a character. Berkly Catton is so, SO fun to watch. You have no idea!!! I followed him in the months leading up to the draft because there was buzz that he might be available lower down because of the Height Issue (he is, tragically, 5'11 <- which makes him undraftable unfortch) + concerns with how his game will translate to the NHL level. He is an electrifying playmaker. He's so creative, throws in so many fakes, WILL break ankles, very good hands... ough <3 everything I personally love to see in a forward all rolled into one neat little package !!!

There's the suggestion that he's been "over-scouted," which really just means they've all been watching him so long they're probably overthinking things and looking for stuff to critique. I'm inclined to believe this take over the other one because I'm an optimist and he was one of my little guys going into the draft! I won't include more of that here, but there's plenty of material out there if you'd like to look for it.

Below are some of my favourite bits and pieces from media he's appeared in <3

“I don’t like to give it away (pause) but I look at guys before games,” Catton revealed. “What’s weird is going from midget to junior hockey is a big jump. Last year I was learning. This year I wanted to add stuff. My pregame stuff and to look at guys doing draws and seeing what works. That’s pre-scouting on my end. If a guy has a certain move, and you can trump it early, it gets in his head a little bit. That helped quite a bit.”

“I think I sometimes have a problem with passing the puck too much. I love seeing my teammates score and setting up for an open net. It’s one of my favourite things in hockey, if not my favourite,” Catton admitted. “That’s something I can work on. When I get a chance put it home kind of thing. I got better this year at it’s still something I’d like to improve. Honestly, I’m a pass first mentality guy I would say.”

- Berkly Catton’s video scouting has improved his overall game

You know, when I first read and saved this article I was like; this prospect who reviews VIDEO is gonna haunt me. That's my weakness btw, I'm freak4freak. If you tell me a hockey player is also deeply infatuated with the game to the point of reviewing tape in their free time that's IT for me. it's JOEVER. i have a type and i know it <3 also wowie a pass-first guy who gets really really happy when his teammates score??? crying. crying. Berkly Catton . tucking uou gently away <3 forever <3

From A Day in the Life: Berkly Catton & Conner Roulette

Fave movie is The Notebook (<- unrelated there's a . really funny comment on this video from a philly fan lamenting that Catton likes the Notebook - I assume because that's some uhhh how do the kids call it,, femme soyboy shit? lmao anyway stay LOSING toxic masculinity !!!)

The boys call him 'Berk' <3

He talks about Jack Hughes being a big influence on him (in other media, he gives Hughes as a player comp!) and going to hang out and work with the Hughes family in Michigan. I sense a thread of admiration here like it's such a sweet little crush LOL <3 I hope he notices you Berkly !!

he gives the player of the match hat to a coach/trainer (one of the two) it's lovely... ouhhh... good little fella so polite and so conscious of staff being the foundation of his success... mwah!!

From Berkly Catton Talks Hockey Sense, His Start In Hockey & More | Game Tape With Tony

His father and grandfather built him a rink in his backyard, very sweet.

1OA in the WHL draft!

Anime main character levels of training-arc... my guy shot thousands of pucks over the summer in his backyard and then came back suddenly able to score goals. <- this is where the DIY goalie made of wood and blocker pads comes in. lol. lmao. are u even real.

sorry. sorry. OLEN ZELLWEGER MENTION. <- one of my personal favourite little guys (undersized puck moving defensemen my BELOVED) "Kind of a funny story [...] I pretty much had a breakaway, when he just turned backwards and played it as a 1-on-1 somehow, and I was like 'wow, this guy's the real deal', so." I really liked how Catton easily recalled a specific person/moment when asked who challenged him the most in the WHL; I think it speaks to a thoughtfulness about the game - it would've been easy to just give a vague Oh Everyone Is Good answer here and I like that he didn't!

There's a section where he talks about how he got so good at stick lifting, such an interesting perspective I never considered - he played in situations and against people where he couldn't just throw his body around to win, so he had to learn to get the puck in other ways. KEVIN KORCHINSKI MENTION <- another one of my little guys <3

mentions his dad being a big influence on his 'patience'. parents are so funny to me. ur watching your sons juniors matches? and Ohhhhh Chris Catton was a hockey player too . it all makes sense. Berkly Catton product of jockdad like so many before him <3

I do love that throughout this interview, Catton defers to his linemates a lot. Always hyping them up and talking about how he owes his success to them. it could be construed as false humility, given Catton was the highest scoring draft-eligible in the league - but he really does go out of his way to emphasise how highly he regards them and how much of their on-ice success is owed to good chemistry built up over the entire season. It strikes me as genuine!! He's a good boy <3

Revealed he can solve a rubix cube at the end... wow... he just liek me fr...

PLEASE watch this on-ice interview where he's chatting after a game and then gets ABSOLUTELY WASTED by 5 water bottles and all the boys. he is clearly so so so beloved in that locker room waaaahhh <3

Anyway this isn't an exhaustive list but it IS a lot of the reasons why I really liked him pre-draft. welcome to the deep Berkly <3

[wispscribbles]

Mw3 spoilers (just a long personal ramble)

Hiii. So

As soon as the pre-release came out on, I hunted down spoilers, because I know myself and knew that if someone died and I got that information out of the blue, I wouldn’t take it well. Jokes on me, because I still haven’t been taking it well lol

I won’t talk about how Soap’s death was handled or the quality of the game. Plenty of smarter people are doing so.

I try not to talk a lot about myself and irl stuff on here, but will just say: I am very unwell, mentally. (Cue silence because that’s not surprising at all) Something I am very aware that I do, is that I latch onto fiction with my whole being, usually one specific character. For some reason, I always latch onto the character that ends up dead, usually in a way that make them only exist to further the motivations of other characters. It sucks.

So my hope for Soap has never been great, but for some reason I was still so shocked?? I don’t know, I tricked myself into thinking this time was different. Such an iconic character with so much good setup for great character development. I knew someone would die, but ow. To me, he was the element that made 141 seem more like family than coworkers. Soap’s interactions with the rest just livened up the games so much and made them all shine. Especially Ghost. Their dynamic, man.

Soap was the character that intrigued me enough to jump into the cod rabbit hole. It feels very hollow without him.

I keep telling myself that it’s silly to be so hurt over something fictional, and that I can just treat it as a mcd fanfic and move on, but nope. Brain’s stuck in the bad stuff. It’s a bad habit of mine to let something like this affect me so much, but well. Logic vs feeling and all that.

I really did find so much comfort in Soap this last year, that I severely needed. It feels a little like losing someone I know, someone who helped me through a rough time. I related to something in him and felt inspired. I only started writing after getting into ghostsoap, I started working out and I got back into art after a very long burnout. It may be fiction, but the impact is not.

So that was pretty much the worst case scenario of what mw3 could be to me. I always knew the risk, but, once again, ow. But there also seems to be plenty of good stuff in the game that I enjoy. I’m happy with the Ghost and Soap dialogue, the whole team working together and seeing Laswell and Farah and Alex and Nik. I hope I can be inspired by some of the new content once I’m calmer.

And I was worried they would ignore Ghost and Soap’s relationship after their development in mw2, but they genuinely seem to have gotten real close. It’s nice. I thought the shipping might scare the game devs into never having them appear in a scene together again, so that’s a plus.

Bottom line to all this is: I probably need a little break to get my head sorted. The grief is surprisingly real, it’s triggered some old stuff for me (haven’t been sleeping or eating, been stuck in some old thoughts). I’ll need to calm down and become a bit more normal about this again. Part of the grief isn’t so much about Soap himself, but also just the safe space that this account has been. The very nature of how the fandom is going to interact with Soap and Ghostsoap is going to change now, and man… I liked how it was, y’know? Could’ve used a little longer in that bubble. There’s going to be plenty of new fics and art, lovely stuff as always, but many of them will be tinged with grief, and I’m not in a place where that won’t break me a little.

I will hopefully come back to posting and making stuff once my brain settles down. I have so many drafts for fics and ideas that I hope I can return to. I’ve gotten so used to drawing these lads that I doubt I can stop tbh

The version of Soap that we love is already evolved from the games due to all the time and care the community has put into the character. The games may have killed him, but luckily, he’s fictional. We can do what we want, same as before.

I’m not even saying that I wish they hadn’t killed him. The games are crafting a story that fits their audience. It makes sense.

But I will choose to live in one of the many universes we’ve created for Soap, where he is alive and cared for, with a found family and a spooky lieutenant with a soft spot for him. Good for him.

Hope you’re all taking care of yourselves. RIP canon Soap (again). Thanks to Neil for a wonderful portrayal. And no matter where we go from here, thanks for a wonderful year of creating with you lovely folks. Seriously, some of the kindest people I’ve met in fandom. <3

Lastly: fuck you Kevin O’Reilly, but more importantly, sincerely thank you. (CallMeKevin video about mw2 got me into this mess. Otherwise I was keeping cod at an arm’s length, but he’s my fav youtuber, so I watched it. And here we are!)

[coldercreation]

Life update (GOOD)<3

Heyy all! Just quickly dropping in with a lil note because I feel like I’ve been less focused on the writing-front as of recent, and more inactive here in general :’)

Thank you to everyone who’s been commenting on my writing and/or left me messages and prompts this year and recently, I absolutely adore you all. I have started many a draft based on the prompts I’ve gotten, and there’s plenty more I still want to get to. Thank you for sharing your ideas with me, they genuinely help me with motivation and writing (even though I haven’t managed to finish anything substantial in a while…)

I always say it but I really just appreciate you all a lot<3

As to why I have been more inactive responding or writing/updating in general, well…

Life has just been really, really good lately? Consistently. All the time.

I’m starting to tentatively trust that the worst is well over with my health stuff/treatment, and I’m feeling so much better compared to where I started that it baffles me daily?? I kinda feel like I have a new brain - and a new life. As in, I feel fully Alive for the first time since I was a kid, pretty much.

I have so much energy. / I just go and do things now. / I might actually be an extrovert??? (I’m having a culture shock rediscovering my own damn post-chronic health issue personality lol) / Anxiety and depression, who are they? Turns out I can feel a healthy amount of sad or upset, and it’s not all consuming. / I feel anger now! And it's great lmao! / Even bad days feel like decent days compared to my past days / I have always been interested in other people, but now I have the energy to show it better and engage, without burning out before I even open my yapper. / I feel like I’m connecting with people so much easier and better, and I’m having such a good time!!! / I’m actively trying to come up with new things to do with all the time and energy I now have. I’m still figuring this one out, because yeah, it’s a culture shock, after spending my whole adult life actively avoiding things just because I didn’t have the energy for anything (Tell me your hobbies and interests!! Indoor-outdoor-solo-social??) / I feel grounded in my own body and feel present / I finally feel a sense of ‘Future’ and I'm able look forward to things, instead of being in a constant survival mode and feeling stuck in it. / I’ve started to truly FEEL things, not just think things. I’ve started to want things. And not want things. And like things. And dislike things. Anything but the mild-indifference I am/was used to. / I can get through a work day without falling a sleep. Hell, I did a 13 hour shift the other week and still had the want and the energy to go for a run, after?! I felt possessed and a bit feral with power that day lmao! / AND SO MUCH MORE and BETTER and AAAAAAA 

I tear up regularly because I suddenly out of nowhere realise ‘wow, what the fuck, I feel so great??’

I really thought ‘better’ wasn’t in the cards for me after living literal decades feeling ‘not-good-at-all’. 

But mann, I think this is already better than the better I thought I’d never get to feel xx

[tildeathiwillwrite]

Tag Game: Writeblr Interview

Thanks to @cowboybrunch for the tag, this looks fun!

Long post incoming.

----------

Short stories, novels, or poems?

I find I end up with novelette/novella-length stories more often than not. I've written plenty of one-shots and short stories for prompt events, and I like doing that especially when I'm doing fanfiction or nameless characters. When I write with ocs though I tend to stretch stuff out and what had originally started as a one-shot or short story ends up becoming a novella.

Don't get me wrong I have plenty of WIPs planned out to be novels (like Trials of the Six), but the first drafts of The Hunter, the Myth and the Cure and The Legend of Orian Goldeneye were both novella-length and will probably stay that way or end up being longer. My Hero x Villain series ended up being a novelette, so basically I can't plan for how long a story's gonna be lol.

I've written a little bit of poetry (heck, I wrote one for The Legend of Orian Goldeneye that may or may not get cut), but it's not my favorite thing to write because I way overthink things. But when I do compose poetry I usually do limericks.

What genre do you prefer reading?

Fantasy, no contest. And within fantasy, usually High Fantasy with a lightcore or hopecore focus. I read some gritty stuff, but I find they tend to have elements I don't really like more than the ones I do.

Are you a planner or a write as I go kind of person?

Both? I like having an idea of where the story's gonna go, and I plan that out either before writing or while writing, so I don't get stuck. But it's really loose and gives plenty of room for the characters to go feral. I'm in the middle, but I lean more panster than plotter.

What music do you listen to while writing?

Soundtracks, usually from videogames or movies. I really should start organizing my two writing playlists by vibes other than calming music and boss fight-type, but I'm pretty happy with how I have it now. I also have some seasonal aesthetic playlists which match the vibe of the current weather.

Field Music Playlist (calming background soundtracks)

Boss Fight Playlist (pump-up, more exciting soundtracks)

Seasonal Aesthetics: Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter

Favorite books/movies?

Oh goodness.

Uhhhh. UHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

My knee-jerk answer for favorite movie is and always will be The Princess Bride. But I also really like Back to the Future, The Martian, and Clue.

With books I tend to separate them into categories. For fantasy I would say it's a tie between Dragonlance: Dragons of Autumn Twilight by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman, The Death Gate Cycle: Hand of Chaos by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman, Mistborn: The Final Empire by Brandon Sanderson, and Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynn Jones.

For sci-fi it's The Martian by Andy Weir, followed closely by Skyward by Brandon Sanderson.

My favorite classic is Little Women by Louisa May Alcott, followed by Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin.

And for nonfiction I like Stuck by Justina Van Manen, The Healing Imperative by Mike Aquilina, and Beautiful Holiness by Kathleen Beckman.

And of course the Holy Bible and the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

Any current WIPs?

This post is getting long enough already, I talk about my WIPs here and they're all linked in my pinned post in one way or another.

Create a character description of yourself:

Quiet, and keeps to herself. Never without a book, never without a rosary. Her brown hair is long, reaching nearly past her waist, and often kept up in a ponytail or a braid. She dresses mostly in dark colors, black jeans or skirt and a shirt or blouse that is black, navy, or gray, but occasionally wears a bright shirt. She wears little to no makeup unless she feels like being extra fancy. She always has a ring on her right hand, and usually a bracelet that matches her outfit, both of which she fiddles with. Her friends are few but she loves them dearly, and they are often on her mind. Though she may be quiet most of the time, she never hesitates to speak up for what she believes in.

Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing?

Eh... not really. I know my own thoughts and experiences much better than those around me and I wouldn't wish a lot of the stuff I do to my characters on the people I know so it just feels kinda weird to me.

Are you kill happy with your characters?

I find I like to bring my characters to the brink of death and back again rather than just killing them unless I want to write about grief. I'm more kill happy with immortal characters for the same reason.

Coffee or Tea while writing?

Usually just water, but if I can get my favorite iced coffee drink than I'd be happy to drink that.

Slow or fast writer?

It varies depending on the amount of research I have to do in a scene, but I think I write pretty fast. I haven't measured my words-per-minute in a while but it was pretty good if I recall correctly.

If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?

I'd love to be a guide of some kind, part of the group enough that I won't get killed off. I'm pretty good with navigation and maps, and I'd like to have powers (minor ones, not overpowered) but that would depend on the fantasy world.

Most fav book cliche:

Scoundrel with a heart of gold. I eat that up like a starving woman. Han Solo, Mat Cauthon, Ifan Ben-Medz, etc. Draven Cozenson, Diana Ozborne and Korfel Domin are two oc examples.

Least favorite cliche:

Love triangles. Frustrates me to no end, especially how most of them are resolved and how they really only seem to drive wedges in the fandoms (Keeper of the Lost Cities fandom, I'm looking at you.) I have no love triangles in my stories and I never will. I have minimal romance anyway but in the two I got there is no competition.

Favorite scene to write?

*evil grin* Love writing the whump or hurt/comfort scenes, all my ocs get whumped in some form or another, and I have fun every single time.

Reason for writing?

Creative expression, love for my ocs, with a dash of "I maked these :D"

In all seriousness, it's a hobby that I love. It sparks joy and it's a craft that I continuously improve upon and the more I write the better I get at writing. I also occasionally fantasize about publishing one day and my books having fandoms of their own. Maybe that will happen someday.

----------

This was fun! Tagging @fourwingedwriter @phoenixradiant @thewritingautisticat @writingphoenix @somethingclevermahogony

@agirlandherquill @happypup-kitcat24 @imsoveryveryconfusedatlife @geode-crystal @pluttskutt and open tag! :D

Blank list under the cut:

Short stories, novels, or poems?

What genre do you prefer reading?

Are you a planner or a write as I go kind of person?

What music do you listen to while writing?

Favorite books/movies?

Any current WIPs?

Create a character description of yourself:

Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing?

Are you kill happy with your characters?

Coffee or Tea while writing?

Slow or fast writer?

If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?

Most fav book cliche:

Least favorite cliche:

Favorite scene to write?

Reason for writing?

[dawns-beauty]

How did you get started modding npcs? I’d love to work on making the elderly people in Skyrim feel less identical but the creation kit is intimidating. Is there an easy way to dip into the modding scene or do you just have to crack things open and make mistakes? It’s hard to find guides that don’t focus on cbbe 😔

Sorry for the lateness of this, Tumblr won't let me edit drafts for asks on mobile, so I couldn't jot down my thoughts as I had them which is my usual method of answering stuff like this.

Oh man, my start was probably learning to edit the NPC from Tame the Beast 2 lol. She stood out like a sore thumb in my game. I found a tutorial that ended up becoming my method through the RS Children page.

It primarily focuses around using RaceMenu, which has a function that allows you to export the head you make directly from Character Creation. This allows you to use the extra facial sliders (like the ones from and overlays (like Freckle Mania 2, my beloved). So basically, it allows for potentially far more unique NPCs than editing via CK.

I am going to warn you, it definitely is not simpler than editing NPCs in the Creation Kit alone. Sorry.

Links are to the SE version of the mods, as that's what I'm most familiar with. They likely have LE counterparts. Sorry, I am not the greatest at writing tutorials.

Things you will need:

RaceMenu (and SKSE; be sure to get the correct versions of both for your game)

NifSkope - you will use this to open and edit the mesh. Here's GamerPoet's setup video

Things I recommend:

Creation Kit Platform Extended for Skyrim - makes using the Creation Kit way less like pulling teeth

Unofficial Creation Kit Patch - if you're using AE

an alternate start mod - I like Dimes Quickstart for its simplicity, but any would work

Another Race Menu Rotation Mod - handy for seeing how the back of hairs look

Stand still in RaceMenu (OAR) - stops the character from wiggling out of frame

For your quest to edit elders specifically, you will probably need a playable Elder Race mod (I have not tested any, but just searching for them yields plenty of options.) You will have to know exactly what races the NPCs you're editing are, though

Fun Stuff for diverse options:

Extra slider mods (I like Expressive FaceGen Morphs)

Skin Overlay Mods (for extra detailed faces)

If you want to get REAL funky with it, you can also use OutfitStudio to have a lot better time sculpting/getting super wild with assets, but that's too advanced for this tutorial (and my method is very 'goof around until it just works.'

I don't really want to cover using mod-added headparts (like eyes, hairs, etc.) There are basically two options there: add them as new headparts for your mod or make your mod dependent on the mod the headparts are from. The second way is probably simpler for beginners, but I definitely suggest installing Creation Kit Platform Extended, as it will allow you to load the other mods as masters without the Suffering™.

The Workflow

1. Design your character like you would a player character. For this example, I am redesigning Arcadia.

A recommendation: unless you really feel like you need to change it, it is typically better to make the Weight slider match the NPC's actual weight. You can see this value using either SSE Edit or the Creation Kit. It is no big deal if you don't, but if you change the weight and load the mod into an already existing save you will get a gap between the NPC's neck and body (unless you use Save Unbaker.) Be careful, though, there is a RaceMenu bug where if you load up RM again after exiting, it changes the weight by .01. So annoying.

For Skin Tone choice, if you do a custom skin tone (by pressing 'E' while hovering over the slider) I would recommend leaving the transparency slider (the 'A' value) at 100% (though I usually make the exception for Khajiit and Argonians.) This info will go into the Interpolation Value box in the CK, and the RM values can't be directly input, so you have to calculate the value with a (RM Number/255 = X/100, solve for X which is your Interpolation Value)

1a. If you are planning on adding faceparts from mods to your own plugin, I recommend saving and doing that now. Then come back to your save and change your headparts to the versions from your plugin. If you want to just have the other mods as masters, you can skip this.

2. Once you're satisfied with your design, I recommend saving your game and saving your head as a preset (click to enlarge):

3. Now, you will need to write down some stuff.

Skin Tone (RGB value):

Hover over Skin Tone slider. Press 'E'.

write down the R G B values (and A if you change it, see above note)

Even if you use a default skin tone, this is the best way to make sure you get the correct value for the CK.

Weight (number)

Scars (name) (if applicable)

Hair (name)

Facial Hair (name) (if applicable)

Eye Color (name)

Brow Type (name)

Writing down Hair Color is optional: with this method, the hair will inherit color from the head you export, not the CK value. Plus, RM's values are not really useful, because the default hair colors are named. It's the same with the Face Complexion (wrinkles, etc), with this method it is exported with the head mesh.

4. Export the Sculpt:

It should end up in your SKSE folder (SKSE\Plugins\CharGen), wherever that is for you

5. Now you can close down the game and open the Creation Kit.

Use the folder icon to load your masters.

Pick Skyrim, Update, any official DLC (if applicable), and any other mods you want to be masters for your mod (for eyes, hairs, etc.) If you've made your plugin already for headparts, just load it up.

6. In the Object Window, expand the Actors -> Actor -> Actor tabs and now you have a lot of tabs with Race names. Find the race your NPC belongs to then open the appropriate gender tab. Alternatively, you can just search the character's name in the searchbox.

7. Find your NPC's name and double click. This opens their Actor window, which is where you will use all the data you wrote down.

If you want a preview of their face, tick the box at the bottom of the window.

For weight adjustments: go to the Traits Tab. For all other values you need to worry about for this tutorial, go to the Character Gen Parts.

So, to parse this: you can ignore the Face Tint Layers box and pretty much everything on the left side of the screen.

Face Tinting Color

Type in your values for R G and B (you can ignore the Preset dropdown completely.) The Interpolation value corresponsed to the 'A' value, so unless you are working on Khajiit or Argonians, it will probably always be 1.

Base Head Parts

To change stuff in this section, click the line you want to change then go down to the dropbox below it and change it to what you want Face - unless you're using something like High Poly Heads, you can ignore this Everything else in this box: change to what you wrote down for each

Additional Head Parts

This is mainly used for scars and functions a little differently To add a scar, you need to go to the Object window again You can expand the Character tab and click 'HeadPart' then search the name of the scar you want. Click and drag the line with your scar into the Additional Head Parts box and it should show up there.

8. Once you've got the above like you want it, hit 'Ok', save your plugin. Now, to make the next step a little easier, you can click the NPC name in the Object Window again and hit f4.

This will export the meshes/textures file folders to wherever you have CK set up to export files (if you use MO2, it goes directly to the Overwrite folder by default.) Your plugin will be in the same place, (probably. Mine is bugged.)

Go ahead and exit the CK now

9. Go your your files exported from the last step. Open a second window from the files you exported from SKSE.

Open both meshes in two separate NifSkope windows.

You absolutely must make sure your headparts match the head you exported from RaceMenu exactly, or you will get the dreaded dark face bug.

If your SKSE head has a weird broken neck mesh, that's not a problem and can be ignored.

Now, you will need to find the Head textures in the head you exported from the CK. If your NifSkope is set up like mine, it should look like this:

Copy this line and paste it into the SKSE head in the same slot.

Save the SKSE NifSkope and close.

10. Rename the SKSE files (both .dds and .nif) to the number your exported heads are. You can then copy and paste your your SKSE files to their respective folders:

the .nif file goes in meshes/actors/character/FaceGenData/FaceGeom/[name of plugin]

the .dds file goes into textures/actors/character/FaceGenData/FaceTint/[name of plugin]

And now you're ready to pack up your mod for testing! At this point I also recommend taking a second and converting your plugin to an ESPFE via SSE Edit. It's pretty simple and there are probably tutorials out there.

Scully, you're not gonna believe this.

[wingedblooms]

First off - I love your blog. The way you connect things for Elain/Elriel is *chef's kiss*. I've been rereading ACOTAR and came across something that might be useful for your theories (or maybe not at all but is, at the very least, interesting or maybe is completely dumb and irrelevant lol). This is also long... so sorry.

In ACOFAS chp. 24, Mor talks about "Rhys's request." She states "her blood called to her" and told her to "Go on the wind." Seems a little witchy to me. Especially because of how she describes witches at the Illyrian war camp.

Now what is VERY interesting happens a few lines down: "She had not mentioned it these past few days in Velaris." At first, it's easy to assume that she's talking about "Rhys's request", but as I'll explain I don't believe this is true. Next: "She knew Azriel would say no, would want her safe. As he had always done." This literally cannot be related to her traveling to the continent for Rhys. In chp. 14 of ACOFAS, we have Rhys's POV and he's talking to Mor. Talking to himself, he says "I debated asking her if she wished to know where AZRIEL AND I THOUGHT she might fo first." Clearly, Azriel is aware of Rhys's plan. This would not be news to Azriel and would not "cast a shadow."

Back to ACOFAS 24, "Cassian would have said yes, Amren with him, and Feyre would have worried but agreed. Az would have been pissed and withdrawn even further into himself. She hadn't wanted to take his joy away from him. Anymore than she already did. "

I think whatever decision she is trying to make has to do with Elain. I don't have a lot to back this up off the top of my head tbh, but Mor's mention of "joy" sticks out to me. We know earlier in ACOFAS, Azriel laughed a very "joyous" laugh. We also know that since that night, he has kept Elain's present to him on his nightstand at the HoW to look at every night. I don't think this is a coincidence. ACOWAR thru ACOSF provides plenty of instances that showcases Azriel's protection of Elain, as you know. Also, the fact that she thinks "Cassian would have said yes" sticks out to me. ACOSF shows that Cassian doesn't want Nesta involved with the trove and goes all alphahole when Azriel says Elain shouldn't mess with it because it would mean Nesta would have to. Cassian agreeing to Elain going with Mor somewhere would mean Nesta wouldn't have to.

What's weird is no mention of Rhys here... which suggests to me that he already knows what's going on with Mor. My thinking is whatever decision she is trying to make has to do with the hissing she shut out a few lines up in the same ACOFAS chapter, as this discussion occurs right after that. It makes me wonder if Elain is somehow involved with that hissing, too...

Finally, "But she'd have to tell them, regardless of what she decided, at some point." This means there are 2 things at work here: 1) the "news" and 2) her decision (which cannot be about going to the continent).

I realize this might make no sense but have you noticed this? Am I overanalyzing? Probably lol. But what could this be about??

Thank you so much for sending this intriguing ask! I’ve been taking a break from tumblr due to a bunch of life stuff, so I greatly appreciate your patience. Your ask inspired me to go back and review these sections before responding and after rereading, I do think the sections you highlighted are focused on Mor and her mission on the continent. BUT, they helped me notice an interesting parallel between Mor and Elain that aligned with something I had in the (at this point, endless) drafts, so please read on.

Warning: spoilers for all three series—TOG, CC, and ACOTAR—are below.

I’ll start with Hewn City, which (in part) seems to motivate Mor to accept Rhys’s request. HC has a different kind of darkness than Velaris. It is described as eternal, rotting, and smothering, and it withers all life. (No wonder those families are eager to get out of there. 😅)

There was no light in this place. There never had been. Even the evergreen garlands, holly wreaths, and crackling birchwood fires in honor of the Solstice couldn’t pierce the eternal darkness that dwelled in the Hewn City.

It was not the sort of darkness that Mor had come to love in Velaris, the sort of darkness that was as much a part of Rhys as his blood.

It was the darkness of rotting things, of decay. The smothering darkness that withered all life. (acofas)

I was struck by this language because it reminded me of Elain’s black dress in HC—the unflattering dress that seems to suck the life from her. But in Velaris? Elain is a curvy, glowing goddess wrapped in amethyst velvet. Is it possible that Elain, like Mor, is bound for adventures beyond HC? Or is Sarah setting us up for one of her infamous contradictions?

With scaled beasts of stone and sneering courtiers, HC is also associated with hissing (we’ll circle back to this when we get to the parts you referred to).

And the golden-haired male standing before her in the throne room, amongst the towering pillars carved with those scaled, slithering beasts—he had been created from it. Thrived in it.

The sneering tone. She could still hear the hissed insults beneath it, whispered long ago in her family’s private suite, whispered at every meeting and gathering when her cousin was not present. Half-breed monstrosity. A disgrace to the bloodline. (acofas)

Even though she was born and raised in this smothering darkness, Mor is eager to escape it. And like everyone else in the IC, she dons a mask of cruelty when she is there. She is never able to be herself there.

The words came out of her without thought. And her voice, the voice she used here … Not her own. Never her own, never down here with them in the darkness. Mor kept her voice just as cold and unforgiving as she corrected, “To what do we owe this pleasure, High Lord.”

This mask is something she is accustomed to now, but we have a hint that it did not come as easily to her as it did for Feyre. The fated High Lady of the Night Court became the mistress of HC with far more ease:

Feyre had fallen into the role of mistress of this horrible city with far more ease than she had. Clad in a sparkling onyx gown, the crescent-moon diadem atop her head, her friend looked every part the imperious ruler. As much a part of this place as the twining, serpentine beasts carved and etched everywhere. What Keir, perhaps, had one day pictured for Mor herself.

It’s also not surprising that Lady Death dominated her first event in the rotting darkness of HC. But the third sister? Like Mor, Cassian indicates that the cruelty of HC bothers Elain. And yet she still insists on going and supporting her family. She dons the equivalent of a black grandma dress and Cassian thinks about how it sucks the light and life out of her…much like the darkness of Hewn City, withering all life.

Mor used to enjoy her role (punishing Rhys’s detractors, especially her family) in HC, but we start to see that change in acowar when her father and Eris grow closer. Then in acofas, their solstice meeting triggers one of her most traumatic memories, possibly because Eris wears the same mask of indifference now as he did then:

Eris wasn’t fazed. Nothing had ever disturbed him, ruffled him. Mor had hated it from the moment she’d met him—that distance, that coldness. That lack of interest or feeling for the world. “Then I would suggest to you, High Lord, that you speak to your dear friend Tamlin about it.”

And like the hissing insults of HC, he is also compared to a serpent.

Eris’s mouth curved in an adder’s smile. “Because Tamlin’s territory is the only one that borders the human lands. I’d think that anyone looking to expand would have to go through the Spring Court first. Or at least obtain his permission.”

While Sarah has hinted that Eris is more complex than what we have been led to believe (we know there is a reason for his behavior), he and his court seem to be as cold and cruel as HC, rotting beneath a beautiful veneer:

Warm, buttery sunlight through the leaves, setting them glowing like rubies and citrines. The damp, earthen scent of rotting things beneath the leaves and roots she lay upon. Had been thrown and left upon.

A pale, beautiful face appeared above her, blocking out the jewel-like leaves above. Unmoved. Impassive. “I take it you do not wish to live here, Morrigan.”

She would rather die here, bleed out here. She would rather die and return—return as something wicked and cruel, and shred them all apart.

He must have read it in her eyes. A small smile curved his lips. “I thought so.”

She wished she could grow claws—grow claws as Rhys could—and rip out that pale throat. But that was not her gift. Her gift…her gift had left her here. Broken and bleeding. (acofas)

Eris’ behavior makes Mor wish to become a monster, like the clawed monsters lurking just beneath the skin of the High Lords. It is also reminiscent of witches, who (as we learned from Cassian) become something other—something cold and wretched. In Erilea, ironteeth witches grow iron teeth and claws, and are known for ripping out throats. Mor specifically wished for claws that can rip out throats…but that was not her gift. Six chapters later, Elain asks about changing form, and in the next book, her sisters note how she seemed to grow claws…

“Look who decided to grow claws after all,” she crooned. “Maybe you’ll become interesting at last, Elain.” (acosf)

And showed some teeth…

“Elain showed some teeth,” I observed. “I wasn’t expecting that.” (feysand bonus)

This reference to claws and teeth reminds me of a few things: court inheritance, as that is what Mor specifically compares it to in this scene; shapeshifting (1, 2); and witches (especially ironteeth witches in Erilea). It doesn’t seem to be a coincidence that we first learned about witches in the Illyrian camp, where Mor snorted and stepped aside to reveal Elain after Nesta was accused of being a witch (and of course I’m still hoping something will come of that accusation). Illyrians possess an explosive power (raw killing power that, if not controlled through siphons, can kill the wielder) like ironteeth witches, who have a combination of demon (Valg) and fae heritage. There are theories that Illyrians might have demon and fae heritage as well.

In addition to their solstice experiences in HC, and growing (metaphorical and/or actual) claws, Mor and Elain share other similarities:

golden features and warm eyes

arranged romance with an AC male (via family and/or mating bond)

embodiment of light and color

powers that uncover/verify hidden information (both respond to specific questions and weigh the words of others)

I wouldn’t be surprised if they shared another connection in the future: working as spy and courtier and ambassador to secure peace. The sections you mentioned in your ask seem to refer solely to Rhys’ request for Mor, but the more we learn about the position, the more it seems fitting for Elain as well.

“Az can infiltrate most courts, most lands. But I might need you to win those lands over.” Because the pieces that were now strewn on the table… “Treaty negotiations are dragging on too long.”

“They’re not happening at all.”

.

“You wouldn’t need to be gone for months. Just visits here and there. Casual.”

“Casual, but make the kingdoms and territories realize that if they push too far or enter into human lands, we’ll obliterate them?”

I huffed a laugh. “Something like that. Az has lists of the kingdoms most likely to cross the line.”

.

She glanced sidelong at me. “When would I need to leave?”

“Not for another few weeks, maybe a month.”

She nodded, and fell quiet. I debated asking her if she wished to know where Azriel and I thought she might go first, but her silence said enough. She’d go anywhere.

As the spymaster, Azriel gathers intel from multiple sources and uses that information to protect and serve his court. He already has a list of kingdoms on their “watch list,” and this is what Rhys seems to refer to in this scene. While he might be in possession of this list and the general strategy, Rhys often operates alone and keeps secrets from those he claims as family. It sounds like Azriel does not know that Rhys has asked Mor to carry out this mission, which is similar to him asking Cassian to step in and play spy in the Band of Exiles because Azriel is juggling a lot at the moment…but he still has time to train Valkyries? More likely, it’s hard for him to work closely with Lucien at this point given how he feels about Elain, and Rhys knows that because of his conversation about tracking Lucien’s movements in chapter 7.

Rhys offers this position to Mor because they are trying to establish lasting peace.

“You always have a choice. If you don’t want to go, then it’s fine.”

“And who would do it instead? Amren?” A knowing look. I laughed again.

“Certainly not Amren. Not if we want peace.” I added, “Just—do me a favor and take some time to think about it before you say yes. Consider it an offer, not an order.”

This position requires someone who can win others over, someone who is a peacemaker. Later, Mor describes what this position would entail:

How far away the continent seemed, Rhys’s request with it. To go, to play spy and courtier and ambassador, to see those kingdoms long closed, where friends had once dwelled … Yes, her blood called to her. Go as far and wide as you can. Go on the wind.

Mor would be playing spy and courtier and ambassador (and yes, @whysterian, I agree that go on the wind sounds very witchy 😍…it also sounds a lot like an owl). She seems eager to serve her court in this way, but as Mor thinks about the offer, the hissing voices of her past—her family, Eris—start to invade her thoughts and she shuts them out.

But to leave, to let Keir believe he had made her go with his bargain with Eris … Coward. Pathetic coward. She shut out the hissing in her head, running a hand down Ellia’s snowy mane.

We now know that Mor accepted this mission and it is not going well…

“I’ve spent weeks in that blasted court,” Mor said, poking at the flaky pastry beside her teacup, “freezing my ass off, trying to kiss their cold asses, and their king and queen refused the treaty. I came home on the earlier side today because I knew any more last-minute pushing from me would be unwelcome. My time there was supposed to be a friendly visit, after all.”

because of the human queens:

“Why won’t they sign it?”

“Because those stupid human queens are stirring—their army still isn’t disbanded. The Queen of Vallahan even asked me what the point of a peace treaty would be when another war, this time against the humans, might redraw the territory lines far below the wall. I don’t think Vallahan is interested in peace. Or allying with us.”

And who was tasked with monitoring their activities? Azriel.

Az ran a thumb down Truth-Teller’s black hilt, the silver runes on the dark scabbard shimmering in the light. “What about the human queens?”

“We continue to watch. You continue to watch.”

“Vassa knows that the Queens of the Realm will be a threat until they are dealt with,” I said at last. Another tidbit that Lucien had told us. Well, Az and me at least. “But unless the queens step out of line, it’s not for us to face. If we sweep in, even to stop them from triggering another war, we’ll be seen as conquerors, not heroes. We need the humans in other territories to trust us, if we can ever hope to achieve lasting peace.” (acofas)

But they are stirring again and he can’t tackle this issue on his own (or through the source he might usually interact with). Enter, Cassian. Rhys asks him—the last person you’d expect, who also happens to be dismissed as a loyal dog much like Elain—to play spy out in the open. They need information from a trusted source and that is no longer Lucien, their emissary who is becoming increasingly loyal to the Band of Exiles.

“Az and I have good reason to believe that the human queens are scheming again. I need you to look into it. Deal with it.” (acosf)

.

Rhys went on, “Azriel is juggling more than he’ll admit right now. I’m not dumping another responsibility on him. This task of yours will help him.” Rhys flashed a challenging smile. “And let us all see what you’re really made of.”

“You want me to play spy?”

“There are other ways to glean information, Cass, besides peeking through keyholes. Az isn’t a courtier. He works from the shadows. But I need someone—I need you—standing in the open.

He needs someone who can play spy in the light. Through his spying out in the open, Cassian learns that the three remaining queens have scattered to the winds:

Eris said, “I have it on good authority that the other three queens have scattered to the winds.” Cassian tucked away the information and the questions it raised. How did Eris know that? “Briallyn has been residing alone in their palace for weeks now. Long before my soldiers vanished.” (acosf)

And Koschei, the mastermind whispering on the wind, has been influencing them for quite some time.

“Why was he imprisoned?” Cassian asked. “The story is too long to tell,” she hedged. “But know that Briallyn and the others sold me to him not through their devices, but his. By words he planted in their courts, whispered on the winds.” (acosf)

Most importantly, they are still a concern at the end of Nesta’s story:

But Nesta smoothed his bunched brow, as if she could see those worries there. “Later,” she promised. “We’ll deal with all that later.” Including the remaining queens, Koschei, and a still-looming war. (acosf)

But will Mor and Cassian continue to play spy, ambassador, courtier, etc? Negotiations on the continent are proceeding poorly because of the human queens who have scattered on the winds. What does that mean for the stability of their territories? Someone will need to locate them swiftly and, at some point, convince other leaders not to claim vulnerable territories as their own. Sadly, Cassian’s efforts have yielded little information on the whereabouts of the queens. And Mor can’t seem to leave Vallahan fast enough after her latest attempt to convince their leaders to sign a treaty. Enter, Elain.

Why Elain? We know she wins over others easily (her staff adored her, and everyone and their mom wants to protect her), gets answers to her questions with ease, keeps secrets as well as the spymaster, and routinely surprises others with her stealthy appearance. She can maneuver silently in the light and among the shadows. And unlike her sister, Elain tends to be a calming presence, more of a peacemaker.

“You still can barely talk to Nesta,” I said. “Yet Elain you can talk to nicely.”

“Elain is Elain.”

“If you blame one, you have to blame the other.”

“No, I don’t. Elain is Elain,” he repeated. “Nesta is … she’s Illyrian. I mean that as a compliment, but she’s an Illyrian at heart. So there is no excuse for her behavior.” (acofas)

.

Illyrians were strong, proud, fearless. But peacemakers, they were not. (acofas)

And Rhys hints that, as a gardener, she is willing to get her hands dirty for a pretty result—like peace.

Cassian will likely be occupied with the Illyrians and the Valkyries. Mor, who can hold her own against any illyrian…

There was a reason she’d held her own in battle, and could hold her own against any Illyrian. My brothers and I had overseen much of the training ourselves, but she’d spent years traveling to other lands, other territories, to learn what they knew. (acofas)

…might return to Prythian and join Valkyrie training in Azriel’s place as @offtorivendell predicted in this post.

Mor grinned. “You mind if I start joining you once this business with Vallahan is over? I never got to train with the Valkyries before the first War, and after it, they were all gone.”

“I think the priestesses would like to see you,” Nesta said, and glanced to Cassian to make sure he didn’t mind. He waved a hand. (acosf)

Elain could use her powers to track down the queens (as she did with the Suriel, who traveled like the wind) in real time and play peacemaker on the continent. Spy and courtier and ambassador. This would also bring her closer to her two love interests—one a spy and the other an emissary—and heighten the tension between them. These tasks are even more important with the looming threat of the Asteri (who may be connected to Koschei, creator of chaos and influencer of human queens). Divided as their world is now, they are an even more vulnerable target.

So while I don’t think those sections are about Elain (yet), @whysterian, I do think they might foreshadow her future as a peacemaker who is more than ready to get her hands dirty.

[somany-fandoms-solittle-time]

“What’s so Special About the Moon?”

Jamil Viper x Mac

Ch. 1 – Ch. 2 – (Ch. 3) – Ch. 4 – Next – Previous

I never thought I’d finish this chapter…. LIKE HOLY SHIT I HATED OPENING MY NOTEBOOK BUT THE TIME HAS COME Y’ALL!!! I was planning on posting this before Valentines Day, but I got kinda busy and then almost a whole month passed lol! I’m also convinced I no longer know how to write two characters interacting with each other properly… Maybe the break was needed? No song in this one, but there’s so Mac lore and somewhat talking about feelings! The next (and final) chapter of this will be like a romanticized epilogue. Since I’m not sure how much I want to actually write and plan out for this oc, specifically regarding timeline stuff, it’s not gonna be considered “canon” [p.s. The most beta this gets is a quick read through of a 2nd draft after I finish typing it up so there may be mistakes or sentences that don’t make total sense]

The cream stone walls, lined with gold and crimson ceramics, provided an open, airy atmosphere to the Scarabia’s main Kitchen. Gentle breezes shifted Jamil’s long, dark hair while his busy hands expertly prepared baked pakoras. Their delightful deep-fried scent filled the air, making Mac’s already dry mouth water. Another beat or two of awkward silence oppressed the two as the Ramshackle Housewarden lightly sipped at the nearly empty glass of pink lemonade (including a few tiny chunks of dragonfruit).

“If you would like a second glass, there’s plenty left in the pitcher; second fridge to the right, middle shelf. I’d offer to pour but I must make sure these don’t burn.” Jamil finally broke the silence with more than the single-worded responses Mac was using. Xey supposed they couldn’t run away, least they be called out for being a hypocrite.

“No worries, I mean, I wasn’t really expecting you to serve me hand and foot,” they attempted to joke as a way to ease back into conversation.

“Scalding Sand hospitality would say otherwise,” Jamil easily shot back with a hint of mirth in his tone.

“Well,” Mac dragged out in a tired sigh, “I’m not royalty or a wealthy merchant. Besides, I’m not exactly fluent in any desert customs, Twisted Wonderland or otherwise… Kinda the opposite in fact! So, really, it’s no problem between us. I mean! You don’t need to feel like you have to go through any extra effort or ceremony for my sake.” Their hesitant eyes flicked fervently between filling the lemonade and the calm, sturdy back of the Vice Warden. A panicked symphony of little anxieties added an extra depth to xeir already drooping eyes.

Jamil remained calm. So fucking calm and put together that the Ramshackle Perfect could feel xeir anxiety almost turn to frustration. Almost. That deep well of guilt and shame kept them ‘grounded’ while waiting to hear some type of response.

“No need to concern yourself so much, it’s more force of habit than anything else.”

Mac huffed hardheartedly, “Trust me. I’d rather kill myself than even consider being a bother.” It was meant to be a more lighthearted joke but from Jamil’s reaction, he wasn’t used to such crude self-deprecation. A wide-eyed panic flooded his own eyes quickly as if mentally preparing to start damage control.

“Relax,” Mac continued with a snort, “nihilism is like breathing where I’m from.” A domino effect went through xeir body following their wave of flippancy. A harmless eye-roll, followed by a slightly less strained side-smile, the finishing with a light shrug into a slouch. “Besides, you can only have so many near-death experiences before beginning to think about death with casual indifference. You should try it sometimes… might loosen you up a bit!”

“It seems I’ve gotten too used to Kalim’s more literal style of speech.” the Vice replied through lightly gritted teeth; completely omitting any comment about how he did almost die during his overblot. The forced politeness remained and insisted on the reconstruction of his peripheral walls. It was really starting to piss Mac off. Good thing ze were a nosy bitch!

Fiddling in their lap, they sent a quick message to the ‘Ramshackle Freshies’ group chat letting them know not to wait up. Ze suddenly had a new, and challenging, job to do.

“… Considering how well you two got along I thought you shared that similarity,” the second year whispered under his breath, likely meant just to himself. Seriously, Mac thought, was he really meant to be sneaky? How’d he ever get away with it in the past?

“I was a lot like Kalim when I was younger,” xey replied just to watch Jamil startle out of his thoughtful pout. “Yeah, back when I was 15 before… a lotta things happened. It’s why I can, well, I think I can understand your whole dynamic.” They started rambling again and sporadically moving their arms. It was too easy for him to overshare nonsense that had nothing to do with the conversation at hand.

At least xeir slip of the tongue caught the desert snake’s attention. These two working-class students were both so emotionally huddled up in on themselves, manning their defenses, to properly have a conversation. Both desperately trying to claim secrets and information from the other. (The elder trying to understand and provide comfort while the younger planning to gain back some trust, solve their puzzling nature and…. A little of something else).

Becoming so lost in their own thoughts that the clinking ice cubes in xeir drink began to melt. The only other sounds were of the occasional Scarabia students shuffling path the doors, unwilling to enter the dorm kitchen. It was well-known that the kitchens were Jamil’s domain and kingdom. Add-on the weirdly tense vibes emitting from the two beyond the door. Yeah, this wasn’t the ‘Dorm for Mindfulness’ for nothing. No one would be stepping a foot inside until the other two were long gone.

Looks like it was cafeteria of food from the Lounge this weekend.

By this time, the deep-fried delight was finished and barely cooled down before being devoured. Continuous awkward silence would give the poor magicless Perfect indigestion at this point. I guess I’ll bite first, xey thought, making up his mind.

“This…,” a deep, yet hollow sigh, “isn’t gonna work.”

“What won’t work?” Jamil cautiously prompted, taking his time to search Mac’s body language.

“If we can’t chill out and come to some kind of understanding, everyone will be bugging us for weeks. Or worse… they’ll come up with some stupid, half-baked plan to force us to work it out.” They both felt a disturbing shiver imagining their resident idiot(s) locking them in a closet, or something equally cliche. Not that Mac hadn’t tried the same exact thing before realizing set-ups only work in movies and shojou anime. That would be ridiculous.

“And what do you suggest?” He replied after thinking it over for a moment.

“Twenty questions.”

“Huh?”

“You heard me.” zeir shit-eating, mischievous, obnoxiously lighthearted grin was practically audible at this point.

“You think some adolescent party game to learn each other’s favorite color will smooth over our interactions enough to fool Vil or Rook?” was the apathetic, snarky argument the Vice Warden shot back.

Mac released a playful gasp as xey jumped to reply, “How DARE you mock the sacred ritual of 20 questions. Or how much a favorite color can provide a little insight. I would know, I passed my Intro to Psychology class in High School.” Their easy wink was all the transition needed to put the testy air behind them. Besides, there might’ve actually been a small bit of truth in xeir joking attitude.

“You’ve tested it?”

“Online dating was a complete bitch and a half. Any ‘simple question game’ keeps the conversation going and vets out creepy weirdos.”

“But I already know how strange you are,” Jamil scoffed out the quip like second nature.

“Sorry, Babydoll, but you have no idea how much of a Freak I am.” Mac shot back with a laugh at the embarrassed look ascending Jamil’s neck and over his face. He seemed to tense on instinct, but decided to push through while he could still look his older underclassman in the eyes.

“Did these type of lines actually work for you?” He asked, standing up to try to brush of his initial reaction and to get started on their dirtied dished.

“If that’s your first question, then yes! I’m pretty good at adjusting to all sorts of personality types, which is great for a hook-up but doesn’t last long when it comes to serious relationships.” Xey answered somewhat matter-of-factually but still tasted of insecurity. Mac wasn’t ashamed, per say, of the occasional good time, but was borderline unhealthy with their distraction of choice.

With that the young servant raised a judgmental eyebrow that arched with a misplaced possessive jealousy, before becoming slightly thoughtful. Jamil had gone through extensive training in order to gain (and retain) a similar skill, he supposed. Not that it was anything he’d revel to the Perfect sitting across from him. Nor did he have to explain or like the venomous feelings he was actively shoving down the back of his throat. Just another poison to keep from spilling over, he thought trying to ignore the blatant irony of the whole situation.

“How about you?” Never mind!

Mac motioned xeir hand out expectantly. Behind his smudged glasses were gentle, pleading puppy dog eyes meaning to encourage Jamil only made him curl in on himself all the more.

“Is that you’re question? Seems hardly fair to just project the same question back,” He responded in a jilted, caved-off taunt. “Shouldn’t you have enough braincells to think of your own questions… instead of making me do all the work.”

Instead of backing off—or acting offended or snapping back with an equally sarcastic response—they simply laughed. Just… laughed. It wasn’t a patronizing huff like his own or a naive giggle like whenever Jamil said something that went over Kalim’s head. Xey laughed with a heavy nostalgia and in relief of finding the groove of conversation once again.

���Sorry, sorry! The version my… friends, I think, played we’d always have to answer whatever we asked. Prevents anyone getting ganged up on or an imbalanced type of questions.” Xe replied with ease.

Jamil answered dryly in response, “I spent the majority of my life following in Kalim’s shadow; we did grow up together after all. When I wasn’t by his side I either had work, chores or school. This didn’t exactly leave a lot of room for deeper friendships, let alone dating.” Surprisingly, the majority of what he said was the true.

It wasn’t the whole truth, but true nonetheless. Equal measurements of shame and embarrassment for being a servant always made the young Viper hesitant to pursue any real relationships while in middle school. Casual friends were one thing, superficial and somewhat difficult to maintain, but achievable. Dating, however, would take his focus away from his duties to Kalim (and possibly endanger the heir)

While Jamil’s thoughts were grim and filled with resentment, the other student hummed in consideration. How the two connected to people; how they both learned how and when to respond to the people they’re forced to be around felt oddly similar. Not the same, not by a long shot, but definitely similar.

“Well isn’t that just completely depressing,” Mac started to say under her breath before quickly transitioning to their own question: “Okay, well, how ‘bout your favorite type of music?” The answer they received back was a ‘cut-the-bullshit’ type of frown. Clearly, he didn’t consider it an equal exchange.

“Okay! Fine! What was your dream job as a child?”

This time Jamil couldn’t control his reactions so seamlessly. The Vice Warden’s eyes bulged as the startled intake of breath entered his body. His entire body took on a different type of hardheadedness to guard compensate his apparent embarrassment. He’s been feeling embarrassed a lot lately.

“Oh c’mon~ Every kid had a silly dream job! I probably went through a dozen, at least. So just spill already.” Ze said, trying to urge him to uncoil the tension from his jaw.

“It doesn’t matter! I knew I was destined to remain a servant my whole life, there was no reason to bother making silly plans.” Jamil hurriedly snapped in a desperate attempt to change the subject.

“Doesn’t mean some 5-year-old Jamil didn’t want to be a firefighter at some point.” Mac countered.

“I never dreamed of being something so foolish and mundane as a firefighter…” Jamil said, raising a defiant eyebrow.

“But you dreamt to be something or the other! C’mon, Viper, throw me a bone here wouldja?”

The two stared the other down, prepared to go back and forth. Clean-up had already been finished by the end of the first question and now Jamil brought out two, small fruit plates. It was a nonverbal offering to keep the conversation going despite his own dodgy replies. How was it possible that relatively harmless banter could be pulled from a subject as touchy as his lack of childhood?

Mac’s ease and understanding, even with their awkward or overbearing, of conversation had charmed the Viper’s unsettled and distrusting nature. If xey weren’t painfully honest (and particularly bad at keeping secrets for long), Jamil would have been worried she was a spy. Whatever I tell them—Kalim’s probably already told his club members, so there’s little harm to be done, he thought begrudgingly.

“A dancer,” his soft whisper blew past the lightly dripping faucet and over the desert’s dunes. In the heart of his answer—an unexpected level of raw honesty—cascaded over the billowing heat in a brutal, stubborn calm.

Mac wasn’t surprised, but he smiled at the second year anyway. That soft look, a fresh morning dew covering the forest floor in the late spring, both cooled and energized the flustered boy. It was an expression he wasn’t often familiar with; such genuine patience and pride over 3 short syllabus was uncalled for when it came to a servant like him. Such an insignificant moment held so much weight when they looked at him like that. A sight and experience that a much younger Jamil would’ve thought impossible to even dream of.

“I’m pretty sure I wanted to be a ballerina, for a time.” A hushed excitement at their shared interest.

“Really?” He’d seen them dance and… never got that impression before.

“Yeah, for like a week. Then it was a police officer, before I found out how much running around I would have to do. After that it was an engineer; who knew there was so much math involved? For a little bit I was dedicated to become the President.” Xeir answers tumbled out easily with plenty of humor behind each one.

“�� President of what?” Jamil asked in confusion.

“Of the country! There’s not a whole lotta royal families back on Earth, but anyway, Politics is messy and absolutely soul-crushing. I would probably have twenty breakdowns a month even attempting to jump into THAT cesspool!”

“Ah…” Jamil mentally noted the casual explanation over the bewildering differences between Mac’s world and his own. It wasn’t the easiest to wrap his head around a country with no king, queen, or Sultan.

“Right?! Felt like I wanted to try a little bit of everything, but I always came back to performing on a stage…” For a moment there was a wistful look in their eye before quickly being pushed away.

“… In what way? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Oh, anyway I can. A pianist, an actress, a singer; all I wanted to do since I could remember was to entertain a crowd of people on a stage while I felt those warming lights beaming down on me.” The wistful expression was back with a small tug of a smile.

“Why tell me all of this in the first place?” Jamil knew he had already asked multiple questions at this point, but he had to know. He had to know everything that made up the strange magicless student across from him even more than he wanted to conceal himself. There was just an insatiable need to be their confidant, an archive of Mac Trivia, to just be anything xey let him be. It was strange and powerful and scared him almost as much as they intrigued him. It was an emotional tight-rope he never expected to need to walk, even now, as he studied his companion’s reaction.

“Because even if I do forget it all again, maybe I won’t have to loose myself entirely. Maybe then at least a part of my story will live on and be remembered. Why would people tell stories or gossip or do anything at all, if not for it to be at least remembered by someone?”

They both took a quiet moment to contemplate the sudden serious tone. It wasn’t the fighting or finger-pointing from earlier, but the air felt different from before. Like the next topic, which was Jamil’s to choose, would make or break the tension that was floating around all day between the two of them.

But what in the Twisted Wonderland was he supposed to ask zer after all that?!

There were so many things that still remained a mystery when it came to who Mac was or where they were from (or even why they were sent here in the first place). An uncountable amount of possible questions sped through the 2nd year’s head, trying desperately to pick the right one.

But this—this moment—was an opening to move forward from any awkwardness. Moving past the caring, nosy nuisance to a bond made of understanding. And if Jamil was honest, something he rarely was but making an effort today, than there was really only one specific he needed to know in the moment:

“The sun or the moon?”

“Huh?”

He had blurted it out less like a question and more as an overall demand. An unconscious hiss slipping from between his twisted lips and tempting tongue. Truly, an oversight considering how much the Scarabia resident was overthinking his options… he somehow lost control of his words.

“Sorry! Um… I meant to say, are you a day or night person? Basically do you prefer the Sun or the moon?” Jamil internally cursed himself as he back-pedaled. The earlier courage lost and desperately hoping to skirt passed awkward tension that might follow.

“Bullshit.” Oh for Seven’s Sake!

Mac slowly let xeir eyes glide over each of Jamil’s facial features. Thinking. Analyzing. Committing to memory the very real, very vulnerable intensity the original question had posed.

“The Sun and Moon are considered two halves of a whole, even if they aren’t necessary opposites; why should they be compared in the first place? Why put two celestial bodies against each other? Figuratively or metaphorically.”

Suddenly, the non-native Twistian held the same intensity as Jamil’s initial slip had if not more. It was the stubborn authority he felt in the laundry room—the same focus and need to understand. To be understood. To struggle with the truth while desperately, insistently, needing it to be said.

It scared him. More than hostage situations or poison testing, Mac scared and impressed Jamil more than he could describe. The fact that they were saying exactly what he needed to hear since he was 6-year-old.

“What’s so special about the moon? The sun will always outshine the moon—it can’t even make it’s own light. Then forced into the shadows without the Sun’s light.” He stated in response, trying to opposing his shaken heartbeat, but his tone sounded recited. It was a line he’d told himself time and time again as a mantra from his parents.

“I don’t think so,” the Ramshackle Perfect answered as simply as breathing, “because the moon is beautiful and mysterious and needed. It can do things even the sun cannot. Yes, the sun is beautiful and lovely and celebrated—but I don’t think you understand just how important the Moon is!”

Jamil responded in the last possible way either students expected him to: laughing his ass off. It was hand to describe any undertones of his laughter, but it wasn’t cruel or crazed like when he overblotted. A familiar bite of bitterness lingered in the air while the body of his laughter rang with astonished sincerity.

This was not the same Vice Warden that had tried to scheme against his childhood friend for a small taste of freedom. It wasn’t the snippy, exasperated retainer simply building back his reputation. Nor was it the frustrated, closed off second year that had been yelling all bout how the Perfect didn’t understand him.

He finally felt a little more free, placated and relieved, now that he’s taken a moment to grow. To learn. To feel and be validated in being his own person. Allowed to be better and show it to someone; show himself, at least partially, to Mac.

------

I hope you’ve enjoyed the story so far!! This is one of the longest fiction works I think I’ve committed to! I’m between two different songs to round this story out (Blue Moon by Billie Holiday or Here Comes The Sun by George Harrison) but I have an ongoing playlist of songs that remind me of Jamil. Some of them are jokes or ironic, some a little bit more spiteful, and others that really embody aspects of his character… at least to me lol! Feel free to add random songs that make you think of Jamil and if it’s not already in the monster of a thing.

[moldybonessmell]

SVSSS danmei novel review post

So I had a winter break and finished reading SVSSS and here are some of my thoughts about it.

DISCLAIMER: this as an analysis post and if you might get upset over criticism of the novel, please stop reading. My intend is definitely NOT to send hate but do a review.

Disclaimer number 2: I'm a danmei fan and have read mdzs, tgcf and 2ha so I have some point of reference for comparison

Starting up with the things I LOVED about the novel:

The idea is popular, but the author made it have an interesting twist (ridiculing the genre of something you wright right at the moment is a gigachad move fr fr)

The plot is interesting and entertaining, the novel is easy to read and follow

There is a good part of humour that I enjoyed (the whole Tianlang-jun bit lol)

Characters are well-written in general (even tho I raise an eyebrow at some of them)

I absolutely adore MoShang couple. Them being a tsundere and a gremlin is very fun and I liked the extras showing the development of their relationship. The whole bit where MBJ openly says hitting a person is the way he sees flirting and SQH being oblivious that his own ideas of courting made MBJ convinced he's flirted with too is hilarious. SQH not only creating himself his perfect man but also pulling him for sure makes him a god in their world lol

Another unofficial couple I grew to like is LiuShen aka LQG and SQQ. Ngl I was oblivious to the chemistry they have - "They are such good friends!" as historians would say LOL. But after spending some time in the fandom I think I adore them a lot (esp after finishing this one extra where it's obvious LQG is convinced they are soulmates and is gay af lmao)

Now, on the other side, criticising the novel.

My problem is that the novel seems way too short?? The whole plot is to fill plot-holes but the novel itself seems to have a plenty of them:

We don't know anything about the System, why it works, who created it and for which purpose?

The fact that Binghe doesn't even know SQQ is not his real shizun?? I really expected some confrontation in the end and stuff but bro just lies to his husband till the rest of their lifes now ig?? I was really looking forward to see this and LBH thinking he's betrayed again but we never got it, not even in extras. We got a little hint when SQQ couldn't explain LBH how he knows so much about what will happen, but this seemed to just be sweeped under a rug in the end.

The novel is too short, there are so many interesting plot-lines to explore and possible scenes to write but extras only explore already existing dynamics and seem to be cut-outs / behind-the-scene stuff the author probably just decided to not put in. Half the time I was sitting there and thinking about the fact that someone definitely wrote a fanfic about this or that fact

I've read other mxtx novels and tgcf, for example, felt complete to the point I didn't even read extras, as it felt like the story is whole and finished.

Another problem I have with the novel is that some very important info about characters is still hidden in extras, for example:

The fact that LBH acts like this with SQQ because SQH himself got him the idea?? I really thought bro is a cry-baby LOL (call me SQQ bc of how delusuional I am). The way SQH not only pulled his dream man but helped the story progress with LBH pulling HIS dream man is AWESOME and I wish it was in the main novel part.

Another extra-hidden part I wish wasn't hidden, is the fact that SQH was always thinking about og Shen Yuan and that's why they end up actually being friends, it feels like an important bond was kinda lost in the finished novel.

All in all, I enjoyed reading SVSSS but understand why it's not as popular as mdzs or tgcf. This is everything I got at the moment, thank you for reading!

If you have any thoughts or can explain some of the confusions I mentioned, you're welcomed to do so in comments!

Just please be polite, thank you!

P.S. I firstly wrote this post to drafts right after reading the novel and edited it after finishing extras and ngl some of my thoughts have changed.

[breannastewart]

hi idk how often you do requests but can you post some more stewie and sue gifs pretty pls? 🤲🏻

hiii, yeah I can do that! I have one that's been in my drafts for ages when I started a series of random gifs for them and then never continued, oops, so I'll just post that now. and will try to keep up with it this time lol.

if you want stuff I've already made which is plenty you can go through my sue and stewie tag.

[kafus]

any tips for getting to master ball rank for someone looking to get a gen 9 ribbon master going but completely inexperienced with pvp?

wow i saved a draft of my answer to this until i could get on my computer and totally forgot about it until now SORRY ABOUT THAT. anyways,

USE A RENTAL FOR THE CLIMB. cannot stress this enough. find a team you find easier to understand than others, rent it, and climb with it. be patient with yourself as you may take losses due to being inexperienced but if you really don’t like the team you can always swap. you cannot get the ribbon with a rental but by the time you get to master rank you cannot drop back out until the month ends, so you can just remake the team you ended up liking and toss your RM on, or hell you can just spam start battles until you get a lucky win from your opponent DQing lol

i highly recommend this because it lets you experiment with actually playing the game without having to stress about learning to prepare pokemon or building your own team. it's incredibly hard to build a team if you don't know how to play the competitive game you're building for!! experience first is the best, that's why even when starting with playing with online simulators on showdown, it's best to start with just taking some sample teams and testing the waters

also btw definitely start playing at the start of the month so you don't feel like you're racing before the ladder sends you two ranks back at the end of the month. give yourself some ample time. chill out when you get frustrated, you play worse when you're annoyed

as for finding a rental, CybertronVGC on youtube is a great place to look, pretty much all his videos are team breakdowns that always come with a rental code - definitely pick something from his recent uploads tho, some old codes are defunct. not only do u get a good rental but he explains the pros and cons of the team and does some example games so you can learn a lot from it

i would offer you a rental from the RM community but the only one for the current ruleset that’s in there at the moment is kinda weird and hard to use lol 😭 but if u need any help feel free to join our discord, we have a channel about it. i'm a mod there and you're free to ping me for anything

(i assume by completely inexperienced you mean like, with pvp specifically, not pokemon in general especially considering you're already doing a ribbon master challenge, but if you have no idea what stuff like "IVs" or "EVs" are i'd recommend just looking up a youtube guide, i haven't watched the whole thing but i assume this one is fine? there's plenty of written guides online too if you need that sort of preliminary reading, you can even just use a reddit thread, it's not really all that complex)

[darlingpoppet]

i love wtdf so much!! how is the writing process and how far out have you planned the chapters?

Hi anon!! Aww thanks so much for your ask, you made my day! I’m really happy to hear you’re enjoying the story and also that you’re allowing me the opportunity to talk about the process :D

I’m normally kind of a pantser (or plantser?) when writing most of my oneshot fics—that is, at most I jot down only a vague concept that captures the vibe of what I want the story to be about, and then the rest of it comes together during the actual writing process.

Since WTDF is the very first time I’ve ever attempted a serialized longfic, I did not feel confident at all in my ability to completely go with the flow and find the story as I went along, especially with all the elements I’m attempting to juggle at once. In addition to the slowburn romance, I really wanted to include the sorts of tropes & techniques I love in stories, such as foreshadowing/chekov’s guns, unreliable narrators, uncovering a mystery, re-readability, stuff like that! (Chapter 1 especially is like, Foreshadowing: The Chapter and pretty much every detail about it has or is gonna become relevant in some shape or form later on lol!)

Admittedly idk how successful my execution will be so I don’t wanna oversell it too much, but if any of you out there enjoy looking for clues and theory crafting, fwiw that is absolutely something you can do with this fic ;D One of the reasons I was really excited about posting chapter 7 is because it was an opportunity to really start flexing those muscles and let a few planted things pay off… so if you liked that, there’s gonna be plenty more where that came from! ;3c

So anyway, all that to say I did a lot of planning for this story and in the broad strokes, I have the entire thing planned out all the way from start to finish. It’s not quite meticulous bullet points scene by scene though, that’s not my style—I’m still a bit of a plantser in that chapters & scenes are outlined at most with general vague summaries and maybe a few stated goals (there are some spots where I have to put stuff like “be sure to mention Thing A here which will be relevant to Scene B later on!”) and stuff keeps getting added and shuffled around (upcoming chapter 8 for example was a relatively late addition to the story and was split off from chapter 7 only a few months ago because I decided I really wanted to go whole hog with this particular episode lol.) I originally thought this story would be around 100k, which was already much longer than I envisioned, but now I’m certain that it’ll be at least twice that length, and I’m resigned now to the fact that this project is gonna continue be a big part of my life for at least the next year or two XD

That all said, I still wasn’t confident enough to start posting with just a roadmap, and I spent the last two NaNoWriMos in a row trying to lay down as much track ahead of the train as possible. As of right now, between published and unpublished bits over the span of the entire story, I think I have about half of the prose written.

On that note, my process for writing an individual chapter at this point seems to be: 1) write as much prose for the rough draft as I possibly can (or in other words, filling the box with as much sand as possible); then 2) I copy the individual scene documents on scrivener into a fresh single “second draft/editing” doc, where I 3) try to fashion it into something more refined, until I ???? and then 4) PROFIT/end up with the finished final draft.

This middle process takes A WHILE because I’m usually adding as much as prose as I’m taking away; and I’m often inspired to take more outline notes or skip ahead to write a bit of prose for something further down the line; I’m referencing my notes, referencing past & future chapters to make sure everything is staying consistent, doing new research; and I’m always trying really hard to be careful & particular about how I’m wording things… I often have several alternate wordings or sentences in every paragraph that I spend a long time swapping between and fussing over lol. And even then I often step away several times during the process to let the words marinate for a while. So if you’re wondering why it usually takes me about two months on average to complete a chapter, that’s why haha (even longer if god forbid I get blocked like I did with Chapter 4 oooughhhh). I’m sure many can relate! I still feel like I’m particularly slow though, and it’s only been getting harder as my story grows more intricate XD But I’m also having tons of fun with it!

I think the other thing that has helped me chill out a bit is keeping in mind that AO3 works are editable and so I can always just go back and fix stuff if, worst case scenario, I accidentally write myself into a corner or something like that haha. (Hopefully that won’t ever be necessary though!) I have already occasionally gone back to quietly tweak wordings or add a sentence or two that help keep the earlier published chapters consistent with the later ones (for example, I recently decided to stick with using the anachronistic term of “Greeks” rather than “Achaeans”, since it’s more consistent with Hadesgame naming conventions and ultimately this is a Hadesgame-verse fic.)

I think right now my biggest source of anxiety with this story is over how well I’m executing the pacing… whether or not I’m revealing things too soon/not soon enough, or whether or not the flashbacks are enhancing or undermining the momentum in the present story, especially the slowburn—it seems to me like the sort of thing where I can’t really anticipate at all how it’s gonna come across until I’m able to reread the complete story, haha. But I guess I also tell myself that I’m doing my best to order it in the most impactful way possible… and hopefully y’all are enjoying it too, so far :) I recently expressed this in an updated fic summary, but this story is now fully a three-in-one Hades fic: a canon divergence AU, a canon-compliant pre-canon story, and a mostly complete Iliad retelling with a Hadesverse spin… so the final word count is gonna reflect all that.

Thanks so much again for your ask! I’m delighted & eager to discuss my stories or Patrochilles or Hadesgame or the Iliad or anything else tangentially related to those topics any time, so my ask box is always open <3

[sillyrabbit81]

Do you use a beta? If you don't... How??? I have written something and I literally CANNOT post it without someone else reading over it but... AHHHH. Your writing is so good so maybe you just don't need one if you don't use one LOL 😆

Love your stuff if the above statement didn't indicate that already. Think I might just have to leave Sy in my drafts for forever. Maybe that's not such a bad thing 🤔😎😏

Hi Anon,

I feel your pain! 

I had actually written 2 whole novel sized stories and posted them to Wattpad before I ever used a Beta reader and most of my first one-shots posted to Tumblr were also not beta read. And there are plenty of writers who don’t use beta readers at all, or some who use real life friends or family. The fear of posting your first story is something most people have to go through on their own. But you should go for it!

I do have a few friends who beta read for me now and they deserve a shout out @nashibirne @henryobsessed and @amberangel112. I know, three is a lot but they don’t all read everything I write and I’ve developed relationships with them over two years. It kind of started with one and we would beta each other's writing, then they got busy with real life and then another was helping and then I started writing something that didn’t interest them so I needed someone else to read over my stories and now I have three people I can call on. If you read the Author’s Notes in my stories, you’ll see when I’ve used Beta readers and when I’ve just written and posted.

So, if you’re looking for a beta reader, my best advice is to make friends with other writers so you can help each other out. You could put a call out on your blog for help or you could approach someone and ask if they will help you out.

And I’ll give you some advice about beta reading - be clear with your expectations. With my friends who beta read, they tend to read the story and then say things like, "I don't like the way you portrayed the character here," or “I’m not sure if this part works” or “I’m confused about this part,” or just “great! Love it”. Be prepared to hear the criticism and try not to take it personally, it all goes to improve your writing. Also, my mates don’t edit my work (except for the odd glaring error), I edit myself which is why there are so many errors in my writing LOL But editing is a BIG job. You may get lucky to find someone willing to do that (as I was when @radiantheartbeat edited Even If You Don’t Mean It) but most people won’t have the time or the inclination. There’s a big difference between getting someone to read something in 10-15 mins and chat to you about it, it’s another to expect someone to sit for hours editing for free.

I hope this helps and I hope you post your story soon!

❤️ Rabbit

[amrv-5]

💔,🎉,😬,🧐,🥺 !

Hello hello hello!!!! Thank you for the ask!!!!!!!! sorry as with the rest this got. Long. Below the cut for length and some spoilers for (already published) chapters of S2G2:::

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

I'd say a tie between Moved on Memory, my M*A*S*H fic where Hawkeye becomes literally (?) haunted by iterations of his past self, and S2G2 with a specific eye towards chapter 4 (Hawkeye runs away), and chapter 15 (BJ sits outside the bar). Augh. Just. I got a little misty-eyed writing BOTH of those chapters and I'm really not a crier. So emotionally intense and deals with such personal, and I think to many people relatable, feelings and situations--isolation, helplessness, despair, loneliness, anger at yourself and a past you can't escape, etc. etc. Heartbreaking, but like, a good, cathartic heartbreak. I don't think I'm capable of writing something that wouldn't break for the better, if that makes sense.

🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?

This is a fascinating question. I think I tend to write for myself more than for an audience (hence why so much of my fic is Patently Fucking Bizarro Weird), so I think I consider a fic a success when I have fun with it and like it. If it makes me Feel Something, that's a success. I aspire abstractly to the idea of "literary" fiction, but also that's pretentious bullshit and I just like getting Weird With It mostly. Audience definitely has a little influence on it of course--I was very scared S2G2 would be a flop w/readers just because I spent just a stupid amount of time and effort on it and I want people to Talk To Me About It So Bad. So Bad. But on the other hand, I'd consider my Clerks (1994) fic Nearly Lost You There to be a success despite capping at like 200 hits because I had a bunch of fun with it, and I think it did what I wanted it to do!!!

😬 Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?

Okay well the real answer is any one of the approximately ten fics I've written anonymously throughout various fandoms (3 in MASH lol). they're on anon for a Reason, whether it's Concept Too Stupid and Self Indulgent to Own Up to Writing or just NSFW I didn't want the pressure of linking to my account, those guys r the main answer. Out of the fics currently not on anon, I think that the only possible answer is the queer reading I did of Judas. Yes, that Judas. Bible Judas. What can I say, I've got a minor obsession with guilt, narratives of blame, doomed characters, and historically vilified figures.

🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?

Yes!!! I read a few books on 1950s queer movements before diving into Somewhere to Get To, talked to a couple Korean and 'Nam vets I'm acquainted with re: draft stuff, and skimmed a couple books on histories of the Korean War and 1940s-50s culture in general. I also transiently researched stuff to make sure things like cars, clothes, setting, subway tokens, etc. were as close to verifiably accurate as possible. Sometimes I intentionally violate the timeline--I slipped an Auden poem into S2G2 that technically wouldn't be published until 3-4 years after the scene, but I really wanted it in, and so it went in. Same timeline slippage for a joke about the Mets BJ makes in Moved on Memory. I'm sure I also unintentionally violate the timeline plenty, too.

Maybe the most extensive and probably weird research I do for MASH -- and CW for discussion of surgery, I guess, in case that's icky for anyone -- is on anatomy and surgery. It's important for me to feel like the inside of BJ and Hawkeye's heads are steeped in years of medical training and practice, so I do (sorry) watch example training videos of surgeries that I describe to make sure they're accurate and 'feel' at least relatively real from the surgical point of view. I also have BJ and Hawkeye both think in scientific and medical metaphors more often than I think most characters would: in S2G2, BJ and Hawkeye both compare emotional pain to a sternotomy, and BJ has an extended sequence in which he imagines his life as a dynamical system and proximity to Hawkeye as a strange attractor, for instance.

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

Absofuckinglutely, and you can tell 'cause I write 'em over and over again. There's almost always a moment in all my fics where somebody is loved for all they are. That moment of 'I love you, no caveats' is such an emotional heavy-hitter for me. Central conceit of all my romance writing basically. To be Seen and Loved Regardless...wow...

I'm also a sucker for characters taking care of other characters. Like, looking after each other. Food, rest, a hug, whatever. Fucks me UPPPPP!!! Any fics where one character dotes on another in any way is my bread and butter. Just caught on to the fact I'm so transparent about this being a central theme in my romance writing when I realized more than half of the chapters of S2G2 prominently feature a scene where somebody cooks for or thinks about feeding someone else. When you add in brings blanket to / hugs / etc., it's basically every chapter. Essentially everything in all my Romance Scenes boils down to little acts of caretaking because These Scenes Melt Me Into A Tiny Puddle.

[mamograi]

OMG, IS THAT THE NEWEST LEAKS?!! RAWR!!! 🦅🦅🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷

if seriously, I started working on the extras, which will also take a plenty of work since it's not just the CGs and endings collection.

I'll post the actual foreshadowing when I make the extras look decent enough. I think I won't spoil any extras pics except for GUI stuff to not ruin the fun plus all of them have a spoilers

Stay tuned until the next news (^_-)

Update 12.11: omg, it’s been almost two weeks since I couldn’t find the motivation to add anything to the game. I’ve drafted a small part of extras, but I’m not too proud of it since it was written too dry and haste. I think due to my schedule becoming a bit busier I’m not that enthusiastic about making development dynamic, or I’m just being whiny idk. Anyway, I guess I flattered myself when I said that I’ll make updates frequently, so I hope the next update will ever be, knowing my laziness 😅

Not bragging or anything, but I’ve drafted around 90 CGs already [proud] (or 20 if only the one I’ve drawn from scratch, lol)