#my stewie anons

[breannastewart]

your pinned is cute 🥺 so can u share some more sue and stewie moments or picts for us newer fans that missed out on seeing them play together? 🥺

just some random shots (will maybe continue the gif thread eventually) of the cutest universal winners and yapoligists you could ever cook up to be on the same team <3

[stewykablooey]

how do you think succession characters would do on an episode of hot ones?

kendall and shiv both force themselves to eat up to the hottest wing and get wrecked; kendall had spent weeks before the interview eating different hot sauces he forced jess to buy to ‘build up his tolerance’ but gets wrecked by the fourth wing anyway; shiv claims she didn’t start feeling it until the fifth wing; they fight about this for months

romans wont eat the wings for eating disorder reasons

tom is out by the first wing (‘oooh thats got a kick’ ‘that one is unseasoned mr wambsgans’)

greg chokes on a chicken bone and dies

old guard hasnt eaten a chicken wing since 1998; karl gets the farthest

logan is out by the second wing; throws a fit; calls sean evans gay for wanting him to eat food that makes him ‘pant like a f@g’

stewy……..is out by the first wing sorry guys i just don’t think he’s a spicy food guy he likes pancakes and waffles

[temeyes]

Why does your chibi soap look like a family guy character

idk but he is a stewie-looking ass now that i think about it

[kenzie-ann27]

do you think stewy has ever loved anyone he’s ever dated as much as he loves kendall?

Honestly, I don't think so. No matter what, Stewy always goes back to Kendall; Stewy is Kendall's kicked dog, and I don't know if Stewy himself knows that or not. Maybe he sees a lot of their 30 years of history and believes it's love, that Kendall wouldn't possibly be using him all that time (or maybe he does know that, and he just doesn't care). Of course, Stewy uses Kendall just as terribly, but anyone who's anyone would be stupid not to use Kendall Roy to some extent. But they're friends, so it's okay. They fuck each other just the same.

But Stewy has to enjoy being kicked around by Kendall. We're talking about a 30-year friendship here. Stewy is fucking Sisyphus gathering up his love every day just for Kendall to kick him back down. And it's all for that one look, that one touch, that one hug, that one kiss, just for Stewy to know to keep at it, that Kendall will let him in eventually, that he will chip away at that dam of repressed feelings. And Stewy is such a smug bitch that part of it is just to get under Logan's skin. To be the one person in the world that gets to fuck Logan Roy's son. It's almost like a game to him, to cause and to be some gaping wound in the Roy family legacy, to be ever present and ever near, yet never totally part of it, always somewhere on the sidelines. It's a very, very interesting dynamic, him and Kendall, and he knows it. He knows it, and that's the most addictive drug of all to him.

It'd be hard for Stewy to meet someone now and love them as much as he "loves" Kendall, because Kendall will always have that history. And I don't know if anyone could compete with that history, or Kendall's money or fame, or that pinky promise they made each other in Kendall's tree house that Stewy would be there when Kendall takes over Waystar. That's their love, and I don't think there's anyone that could fill that void if Kendall isn't the one doing it.

[thegetdownrebooter]

do you not like Kendall?

no i love kendall, but i'm not delusional or obtuse about his flaws, nor do i woobify him.

[pr]

NATE WON TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!! NATE NATION WE WON

[astergrayson]

Why Kendall Roy?

last week i got diagnosed with autism.

[stewy-hosseini]

Hii I love your "Bro, that’s what people are saying. Who cares if it’s true?" stewy gifset. I was wondering what episodes/scenes the 4th and 6th gif are from? Thanks very much :D

hiiii they’re both from 1.09 pre-nuptial my best friend pre-nuptial <3

[fortheloveofwbb]

stewie writers lord 😮‍💨 https://www.tumblr.com/billiefinnese/755360188337471488/i-still-hate-you-you-know-i-know

brb going to read this 🤭🤭🤭🤭

[breannastewart]

new fans don’t know seattle is stewie’s true home 😭😭😭

they don't know that Stewie sat there and cried through her entire final postgame press conference because she was too devastated it was over and blamed herself because she couldn't do enough in the end (DESPITE dropping 42 freaking points, it was that serious to her even still) to extend Sue's career a little longer after she and Jewell texted each other that morning like we have to do whatever it takes to win this for her. they don't know that in her thank you to Seattle post she said she couldn't imagine anything Seattle without Sue. they don't know Sue wrote an entire article that was basically just waxing poetic about how special Stewie was and how she saved her career when she came to Seattle and said it AGAIN on a different podcast. they don't know Jewell and Stewie used to talk about how they wanted to play their whole careers together if they could. they don't know Stewie once said she wished she had been older, and that she and Sue came into the league at the same time so she could have had all of those years with Sue instead. THEY JUST DON'T KNOW THAT WAS AS REAL A FAMILY AS YOU COULD GET 😭💔

[stewykablooey]

what are your least favorite stewy/kendall/kenstewy headcanons?

i follow the greatest stewy/kendall/kenstewy minds of our generation so if there are bad headcanons out there for them i have not seen them.

but from what i’ve heard through the grapevine:

stewy being gay; he is bisexual and im very firm on that

stewy acting as caretaker/mommy gf to kendall; its a fine line because stewy Does care about kendall an insane amount and Does take care of him and Does protect him, but the idea that he’d coddle kendall or baby him when kendall is sad is just. stewys gonna tell it like it is, he’s always gonna find that balance of ‘i love you’ and ‘be fucking for real’ and thats whats so great about him and thats what makes him and kendall work. from day one in the coffeeshop: kendall tells stewy about logans debt and stewy offers a sincere heartfelt empathetic ‘fuck, dude :(‘ with a squeeze to the shoulder then immediately follows it with ‘no ones gonna lend you the money because nobody likes you’ like. cmon now.

stewy had a bad relationship with his parents; there’s nuance here obviously, i dont think you have to assume his relationship with his parents is perfect, but the idea that there’s active animosity there or that its in any way like kendall’s relationship with logan is insane sry

stewy is objectively cool but also that stewy is as big of a loser as kendall; LISTEN. obviously no one is as big of a loser as kendall but the thing is, stewy as a douchey rich wall street VC is objectively lame as hell, to me and you and the rest of the world thats not embedded in nyc billionaire corporate culture. but in that world, and in the world of harvard frat parties and manhattan night clubs, i think stewy holds more weight than ppl give him credit for. like you simply cannot be who he is and do what he does without being likeable

stewy gives toothy head; blasphemy.

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

HAPPY 500 BABE!! stewy smut with 23 perhaps?!

Fully Clothed.

23. "Good girl." / "Perfect girl."

Author's Note - this is a drabble written as part of my 500 Followers Celebration!! find that post here if you're interested in sending a request!! always happy when i get a stewy request - thank you anon for sending this in and for being so sweet <3

Pairing - Stewy Hosseini x Assistant!Female Reader

Age Rating - 18+

Warnings - smut!! sexual content and cursing.

Word Count - 881

Masterlist. 500 Follower Celebration Masterlist.

"Come in."

You enter the office to be met with the sight of Stewy Hosseini with his head in his hands, hair messy where he's been running his fingers through it.

"You okay?" you ask tentatively.

Stewy just sighs in response.

It's no secret that he has a reputation for being one of the calmest men in the business. He never gets angry, rarely gets upset - he approaches every deal with a level head, and an almost irritating amount of confidence. You can count on one hand the number of times you've seen him genuinely stressed.

This must be bad.

"I just wanted to see if you needed anything," you press. You take a step further into the office, bringing yourself into his eyeline.

Stewy checks his watch and looks at you with wide eyes.

"You were supposed to go home two hours ago. What are you still doing here?"

Shit. You didn't think he'd notice.

"I... uh - I know that you're stressed about this deal, and... I didn't think it was fair to leave you here alone. Thought you might want a familiar face around, maybe," you say quietly.

"See, this is why I bought you that mug for Christmas," he jokes.

Your present from him had been a mug with the slogan 'World's Best Assistant' written in bright red letters. You loved it.

You laugh, and the sound releases some of the tension from his shoulders.

"Do you need anything?" you ask again, eager to do your job and make his life a little easier.

"Yeah, actually. Can you shut those blinds?"

He nods to the big windows next to the door that look out onto the floor of empty desks, everyone else having gone home.

"Of course," you reply, moving to do as he asked. Once they're shut, he moves his chair back slightly, creating space between him and the desk he was previously sat behind.

"Come here," he murmurs.

He says it quietly, so as not to startle you, but you hear it clear as day. You approach him carefully, moving to stand between his spread legs. He looks up at you with mischievous eyes.

He pats his thighs, signalling for you to sit down. When he sees you hesitate, he reaches for your hips, pulling you towards him gently.

"Sit with me, pretty girl."

You throw your inhibitions out the window, and move so you're straddling him on his big leather chair.

"Other way," he commands, but the scent and warmth of him is making you dizzy. You can't quite comprehend what he's telling you.

"Huh?"

"You fucked out already, honey? I haven't even touched you yet," he teases.

He pushes you off him, and pulls you back down so your back is against his chest. He moves your thighs so they're spread open by his. He rolls his hips upwards, and you can feel him hot and hard against your ass. It makes you whine, and he chuckles at the sound.

Stewy dances his fingers up the insides of your thighs, underneath your pencil skirt. When he gets to your underwear, he caresses the edges gently, avoiding where you need him most.

"Please," you whimper.

"Please what, sweetheart?" he goads, revelling in seeing you so pliant.

"Please touch me, Stewy."

"There you go," he murmurs. "Atta girl. That wasn't so hard, was it?"

With that, he pulls your underwear to the side and runs his fingers through your slick.

"Fuck," he groans. "This all for me, sweet girl?"

"Yes," you moan, throwing your head back to rest on his shoulder. He kisses your temple and inhales the scent of your shampoo. Yep, he's fucked.

He decides to take mercy on you, watching you writhe in his lap. He pushes two fingers into you, groaning and rolling his hips when he feels how warm you are.

You sigh in relief, canting your hips up to meet his fingers. He starts to work up a steady rhythm, curling his fingers on every upstroke. He knows when he's found the spot, because the moan you let out is pornographic. He's suddenly glad the office is empty.

"Right there?" he murmurs into your ear, breath warm on your cheek.

"Yes," you whine. "Yes, yes, please."

"You're filthy, you know that? Letting me finger fuck you in my office, both of us fully clothed."

You whimper, and Stewy speeds up his fingers, moving his thumb to circle your clit in tandem with his strokes.

"There we go," he mutters. "I can feel it, pretty girl. Give it to me. Let me have it."

Your mouth opens, but no sound comes out as you reach your high. Your back arches up and away from him, but he pulls you back with a strong arm wrapped around your front.

"Good girl," he groans. "Perfect girl. So good for me."

He lets you ride out your climax before pulling out his fingers and shoving them straight into his mouth.

You moan at the sight, and he winks cheekily.

"Come on, pretty girl," he murmurs. "Let's get you home."

You look at him questioningly, and he understands without you having to say the words.

"My home," he clarifies. "Now that I've had a taste of you, I'm never gonna get enough, honey."

stewy tag list -

@justacaliforniandreamer

@616wilsons

@isuspectitwasthenargles

[kenzie-ann27]

top 5 succ characters (you don’t have to rank them!)

I'm glad you added that I don't have to rank them since I feel like with my top 5 it would be so hard to put them in the best order 😭

my top 5 would probably be... stewy, sandi, kendall, karl, and ewan. gerri gets an honorable mention though!

[thegetdownrebooter]

i think all the roy siblings are bi, and especially roman seeing as his love for gerri is so evident and stated. and important to his character. to dismiss that is to just stereotype him

that's cool anon, you are free to think what you want about a fictional character like, my opinion isn't gospel lol.

[wambsgansshoelaces]

omg a headcanon like the one you did for tom but for roman snd stewy? the period one i mean !! also gender neutral pls :>

thank you for requesting anon, i love u!!! enjoy xx

really craving pizza bianca rn

on your period (roman + stewy)

Roman

ᝰ has no idea what he’s doing

ᝰ he calls your period a full stop because ‘they’re synonyms lol’ (as his text said)

ᝰ just wants you happy

ᝰ so whenever you’re on your period he just

ᝰ does things for you??

ᝰ makes you breakfast in bed, attempts to pack you a lunch, botches dinner

ᝰ he’s trying at least

ᝰ he usually just settles for buying you whatever you’re craving and letting you lay your head in his lap

ᝰ he strokes your hair, your face, your neck, your back

ᝰ he makes sure you’re feeling good

ᝰ lots of chocolate all the time

ᝰ just so that he can eat it with you

ᝰ if you ever ruin any pants or clothing or even furniture, he replaces it without you knowing

ᝰ “didn’t i throw this pair of pants out last week?” you ask him one time

ᝰ “i got you a new one, don’t worry about it.”

ᝰ if you suffer with cramps or any sort of chronic illness regarding your reproductive health, he’s always quietly concerned

ᝰ “you sure it doesn’t hurt? you should tell me if it hurts.”

ᝰ keeps track of how long in between painkillers your pain returns

ᝰ makes you try a bunch of homemade remedies he googled

ᝰ the first time you go on your period while you’re living together, he goes out and buys you a heating pad, a weighted blanket, and a heated blanking thing all at once

ᝰ if you use pads or tampons, he gets really confused when out trying to buy some for you

ᝰ but he’s too embarrassed to ask

ᝰ so when you’re taking a nap he scuttles into the bathroom and takes a picture that he keeps on his phone

ᝰ and then gets the exact ones when he notices you’re running out or you ask him

ᝰ this man bullies the doctors that don’t listen to you

ᝰ like he is well known with the endocrinologists and gynecologists in the are as a nusiance

ᝰ and lowkey an asshole

ᝰ but it’s all ‘in your honor’ as he says

ᝰ “if they say they’re cramping, they’re cramping. aren’t you supposed to be helpful? how the fuck do you have a medical license?”

ᝰ has gotten kicked out of the appointment many a time

ᝰ but he always waits patiently for you outside

ᝰ and calls corporate like the diva he is

ᝰ has the means to get you the best care

ᝰ and he does get you it

ᝰ “you literally deserve so much more than i can give you. you’re my everything, remember?”

ᝰ “i love you, ro.”

ᝰ “fuck off with that sappy shit…. i love you more.”

Stewy

ᝰ knows enough about periods to be able to help you

ᝰ like he’s knowledgeable enough to cook things he knows your body is in need of during your period of ovulation

ᝰ urges you to work out specifically on your period

ᝰ “it helps clear your head,” he says

ᝰ but if you’re not up to it, he won’t make you

ᝰ maybe just a small walk around outside and he’ll let you just nap

ᝰ but if you even don’t even want to walk, he thinks you’re dying

ᝰ and showers you in affection

ᝰ which he does anyway even if he thinks you’re fine??

ᝰ he’s just dramatic

ᝰ he’s an awfully good cook

ᝰ he loves cooking

ᝰ especially for you

ᝰ he specifically makes you pho for dinner every first day of your period

ᝰ “it clears your sinuses, babe,” he says every single time

ᝰ it does, really

ᝰ he’s really big about the two of you sitting down at the table for meals

ᝰ but if you’re unable because of your period, it’s fine with him

ᝰ he bought one of those breakfast in bed trays just for those moments

ᝰ if you struggle with bad cramps or reproductive illness, he’s with you at every single appointment

ᝰ sometimes he even sits next to you on the patient bed

ᝰ he just likes swinging his legs over the side

ᝰ he scrambles off whenever the doctor comes in

ᝰ he’s so subtly evil with bad doctors

ᝰ “oh, i understand it’s your professional opinion, but i also understand this clinic operates solely on donations? huh, and i think those guys whose names are on plaques all over the place are my buddies! you know jeff? i know jeff!”

ᝰ holds your hand through everything

ᝰ pain, ultrasounds, examinations

ᝰ you’re both walking back to the car from a normal check up and he’s swinging your hands back and forth with his

ᝰ “you know, i’ll help you with anything you ask me to.”

ᝰ “thank you, stew. you’re sweet.”

ᝰ “i love you.”

[richeeduvie]

thank you genius anon for the roman summer house ask. but also richee can you elaborate on this time that roman came out from under the table while drunk… curious to know if he did that for the reason I think he did

"That tickles. Jesus fuck-!"

"I'm not even licking anythi-"

Roman's not. He just finds the inside of your thighs quite comfortable. And your skin smells good. Like really good, it's whatever body wash you're using.

Sometimes, it doesn't feel that taboo to want to peel bits of you off. If he could put you back together without any pain, he would.

"Someone's coming. Just shh."

He rolls his eyes, but his heart feels like the way his mouth purses when he hears it's Kendall.

Roman understands his jealousy. Not very fucking well, but he knows that it's just not right whenever you talk to people. It doesn't even have to be other boys that Roman's sure they want you naked and nippled and for them, it's just...anyone. It's Kendall, but Kendall's a fucking freak. It's Shiv and every adult adult who takes time away from him. It's school and it's movies that distract you.

Maybe it's fucking pathetic? Roman doesn't it. It's not right because it makes him feel sick and small.

And Kendall just keeps yapping. You're too nice to everyone, like it's your job. It's especially peevy when you make it so Kendall's comfortable.

You won't admit it - Kendall won't even admit it, but the brotherly fucker wants you so badly. It's gross. And you should pretty much have the understanding that you don't do well with other people. Just him, even when he's mean. Sorry.

"So, I was just thinking about...you ever hear of go-karting?"

"Jesus fuck."

Roman cringes and lazily comes up from your legs. Not air, cause that would mean he wouldn't be taking in your mouth whole.

"...Roman-"

"You taste like cake. Yum. Hi, Ken." He furrows his brows, looking down. "Close your legs, you don't want to look slutty in front of my brother."

And Roman tries not to wear a stupid-born smile when Kendall just stares, all the confidence and shitty banter gone now that he's here. And his mouth was just on your crotch. That doesn't need to be said between the three of you.

"Do you - do you guys do that al-all the time? What the fuck? That's not cool, dude."

"Why are you pushing this on me? What if she wanted me down in the trenches."

"...Are you-" You hiccup. Roman fixes your hair. "Is my vagina the trench?"

"It's like - take it as a fucking compliment. Wet, narrow....I'm the only one up in there, right?"

"Don't fucking...Roman. Both of you, what if Dad saw?"

"He wouldn't have?"

Roman scratches behind his ear. He can see a purposeful, slight shake of his brother's body.

"What? Cause you wouldn't have made the fucking effort to come up?"

"Why does it bother you so much? It would've only bothered Dad cause it's just more proof that I am his disappointment baby. A vat of unprofessionalism."

Roman knows why Kendall looks so strangled by the way he came up from under the table, why he still looks tense as he throws his legs over you. You look heated. It makes Roman smile.

He knows why even if Kendall never admits it. Maybe he'll get over you like a normal fucking person. But Roman's selfish as much as he is someone that loves his brother. He deserves a bit of tense nerves, his own amount of jealousy because he's not even suppose to be jealous in the first place.

Roman burps and presses a thumb into your hand.

"Go away, Kendall. You have Stewy cock to make you feel better. About what? I don't think either of us have a clue."

He drags out the word clue and stares into your skin, a low head looking down.

Don't give her that fucking look, bitch.

He looks at your guilted face like you've vomited on his shoe.

"Don't tell me you actually feel embarrassed and bad about it."

"You should've waited."

"Oowee, let's spare Ken's feelings. What feelings am I sparing by making the effort to not remind him that I'm inside you at all times?"

When you don't respond, the casual and sickly humor turns red in Roman. He stares.

"What feelings?"

But he's weak, it never takes much and it takes nothing when he's drank a lot. Like a softy, touchy little hand holding his.

"Wanna pick a movie?"

"...It's gonna be a super dirty movie. The most visible pussy and dick you've ever witnessed."

"You had a panic attack watching the first fifteen minutes of boogie nights and we had to put on the beauty and the bea-"

Roman's heart picks up. Why would you ever bring that up?

"You didn't make that moment feel like something you were gonna fucking laugh at me for."

"I'm not laughing, I'm just saying...do you think you'd get like that if you watched us on camera?"

He blinks.

"Have you been fucking recording us?"

"No! I was just wondering."

"You're not good at that. Fucking Jesus."

"Where are you going?"

Back down. Where it's easier to breathe.