#i have not seen a hyperfixation this bad taking over my life in a WHILE so just know

[backpackevil]

Sharing some doodles with news that I have been working on something Big the last month and will eventually reveal more about that but until then, have a few in-betweens<3

[thewritingmagician2022]

Hey! I just found your blog and I've read through your work and I love it 💗 can I request MC trying to talk the brothers out of confessing to them?

(Perhaps taking place towards the end of season 1, beginning of season 2)

The brothers tell MC they love "LOVE" them and MC thinks they're joking and when they finally realize that the brothers are being serious MC's like "I thought you had better taste... are you sure you're not just infatuated with an idealized version of me that you created in your head? I mean you can do better, besides what would the people of Devildom think? Honestly, I didn't really get the impression you liked "liked" me in that way... I think you should think it through, maybe it's because I'm a novelty that your interested in me?" Or something along those lines? The point is that MC doubts their feelings and thinks they can do better.

Thank you so much! 💓

This is one of my favorite prompts because it’s so realistic and human and authentic. Which is terrifying too because I know I’m not gonna do it justice and I’m so freaking late on this. Back on topic - what makes us special to these brothers? Is it going to last? How long until we’re nothing new? (starts playing Taylor Swift in the background while I contemplate these)

Lucifer: Lucifer is vaguely insulted by the implication that you don’t trust him to know his own feelings. Yes, he understands your self doubt because he’s the high level demon Lucifer, the best of the best, and it makes sense that you would feel intimidated by that. But to doubt his feelings is to doubt Lucifer’s judgement and that won’t stand. He knows who’s worth his time and affection (no one) and he is not willing to open himself up to such a state of vulnerability without absolute certainty. So when he says he loves you, it’s true. He’s been around a long time and you’re the only person who has been able to capture his attention and heart in such a way; he isn’t worried at all about the feelings fading or being an illusion. He is under no delusions of who you really are - the person who doesn’t listen to him and runs wild with his brothers and causes so many problems in the Devildom and also the person who brought his family back together again and who reminded Lucifer of who he used to be and could still be. He will provide you reason after reason to back his point if you need it but he really feels he should only have to express his feelings once to make it clear.

Mammon: Mammon’s feelings are definitely hurt when you question him, even if it’s coming from a good place. He knows he’s not the most serious demon and maybe he’s a bit of a tsundere but he doesn’t understand how you can doubt him after everything you’ve been through together. He’s your first man, you’re his best-friend. Mammon is no stranger to romance and flirting over the millenia; demons, angels, witches, humans, etc. He’s got options, almost as many as Asmo, but you are the only person who has ever made him feel this good, this special and loved and in love.It breaks his heart a little every time you doubt his love for you. He might not be the best at talking about his feelings but he promises that he will spend the rest of his life showing you exactly how much he loves you for you, the same way you love him for him - the good and the bad and the weird. He is yours until the end of time, whether or not you’ll ever actually be his.

Levi: Of all the brothers, Levi is probably the most understanding of your doubts - not regarding him, that’s super crazy and he doesn’t understand how you could ever think he could do better than you. He does understand how self-doubt doesn’t always follow logic so he actually does well not taking it personally when you ask him those kinds of questions. He’s a man of many hyperfixations but they’re lasting. Have you seen him with his favorite series or Ruri-chan? This man is dedication personified. He’s already added you to his list of hyperfixations and, okay, maybe he does idealize you a little but he’s not as deluded as you think. He knows you have weird, messy bits of you - just like him - and he loves that so much about you because he’s able to actually be comfortable with you. He loves you and trusts you and respects you, which is more than he can say about anyone else in his life, and he is going to be your simp long after the series finale and he only hopes you’ll agree to let him stay in your life and worship you the way he knows you deserve.

Satan: That line of questioning makes him angry, shocking. He hates that you’re doubting him and his feelings. Satan is the intellectual of his brothers (if you ask him). He’s smart enough to know that there’s a difference between lust vsinfatuation vs love, and he’s considered it for a long time before he came forward with his feelings. He knows they’re genuine and lasting; he even avoided you in the beginning to avoid catching those kinds of feelings but it happened. Satan knows maybe he can romanticize things a little, like in the romance novels that he secretly loves, but he doesn’t think it’s to an unhealthy or unrealistic level - no more than a general man in love might do. He’ll sit and discuss all of this with you for as long as necessary, reigning in that anger that stems from feeling rejected, until you finally realize that he’s genuinely in love with you.

Asmo: Okay, so Asmo gets it, you know? He’s most beautiful being in three realms and charming and funny and sweet and basically everything good wrapped into one wonderful, sparkly, good smelling package. It would make sense that any human he pursued felt a little insecure about his feelings and their worthiness. But like…it’s you! You’ve seen Asmo at his worst - the days when he’s not as beautiful or kind, when he’s selfish and cruel and narcissistic - and you’ve stuck by his side the whole time. He is going to do the same for you. He sees your inner (and outer) beauty every time he looks at you and he falls a bit more in love with you every time. He knows what lust and infatuation feels like - he feels those every day and has them reflected right back at him tenfold. You are not those things. There’s still the passion and longing and affection but it’s so much warmer and steadier, like the warm sun that Asmo used to see in the human realm. You make him better (a hard task considering how close to perfection he is) and he won’t stand for you having any kind of doubts. He’s going to love you into loving yourself until you’re unable to doubt him or your relationship ever again.

Beel: That’s…not unfair to ask him. Beel may not be the smartest brother but he’s not as stupid as others make him out to be. He is the only brother who is going to hear you out and actually take the time to think about what you’re saying. You are the first human he’s ever had these kinds of feelings for, the first person actually. Beel is not used to romance at all and so he really needs to think about the line between romantic and platonic and familial; he doesn’t want to mess up the relationship by defining it incorrectly and breaking both of your hearts in the process. He doesn’t agree that you’re not good enough or interesting enough to inspire those kinds of feelings in him; he thinks you’re the most wonderful being he’s ever come across and anyone would be lucky to know you, let alone be loved by you like he is. It doesn’t take him too long to come the conclusion that no, he is in love with you. He would choose you over food or sports or even some of his brothers; hefeels empty without you in a way that even Belphie can’t compare to. He wants to kiss you and hold you and keep you around forever to share in his food and laughs and affection. Once Beel makes his decision, it’s completely solidified. Beel is a ride or die kind of man and you know you’ll never have to doubt him once he tells you he loves you.

Belphie: Belphie is torn. He understands why you may question his love for you. He did betray you and literally kill you in another universe; he would be more concerned if you weren’t skeptical about him. However, you feeling not good enough? Absolutely absurd. You need therapy ASAP. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to him and his family, even if you are a human. He never wanted these feelings; he loathed you at first but, over the months and different experiences you’ve shared, those feelings have grown to respect and trust and love. He couldn’t stop himself from loving you even if he tried (and he’s tried). He can understand your nerves but he knows down to his very soul that he loves you and that he will always love you. If you can’t accept his feelings, he’ll be the most accepting of it, especially because he doesn’t think he deserves you at all but he will never back down from his claims and he will continue expressing his love for you until the very end.

Diavolo: Of them all, Diavolo most understands why you may doubt the longevity of this relationship. He’s the demon lord. He’s the top choice of the realm, and everyone is scrutinizing him and his choices. He gets why you might be afraid of that and what comes with it. However, he wouldn’t be choosing you if he hadn’t thought long and hard about it to make sure his feelings for you withstood all of those doubts and fears. Diavolo does not lovely easily or lightly; he’s been offered companionship from more people than he could ever care to count but he’s never seriously considered any of them. You are the first and only person to have made him fall so completely head over heels in love that he’s able to get out of his own head which is so often filled with those some kinds of doubts and questions. He may not make every decision in his life with 100% confidence but this is one that he feels so sure of that he’s willing to stake his entire future and reputation on it. He loves you and he will do everything in his power to prove that he loves you and will stay by your side as you both rule the Devildom together, putting you at the top with him - exactly where you belong.

Barbatos: Barbatos is efficient, if nothing else in the world. Do you really think that he would pursue you if he wasn’t completely sure of his feelings and your future together? This is the man who has spent his entire life dedicated to Diavolo; he’s turned away from every and any meager temptation that’s come his way. No one has ever caught his eye like you have and certainly no one has ever made him question where his loyalty lays. Of course he is still Lord Diavolo’s servant and he serves the Devildom to the best of his ability but his heart isn’t in it the same way and that’s because he’s given it to you. You are what consumes his every thought and feeling; he’s broken the rules and used his powers for you, he’s gone against Diavolo for you, he is willing to do anything so long as he can be near you and make you happy. You don’t even have to accept his love or love him back, if you really can’t or won’t, but he’s seen you in every timeline and loves you in all of them. Nothing in this world or any of the others will change that and, if you give him the opportunity, he will dedicate his every moment to proving to you why you can put your full faith in him. After all, Barbatos has never failed at an assignment before.

Solomon: Solomon can understand insecurity on your end. It’s hard to consider yourself special enough to last for someone who has seen everything. Solomon has lived thousands of years, visited the three realms, love and lost time and time again. It’s hard to imagine that you’re anything more than the next shiny toy he’s got his eye on. For someone who can never die, what is this love other than a small blip on his radar one day? Solomon can’t stop you from feeling that way because, in a way, it’s true. You can’t be a permanent fixture in his life because you’re human but he can certainly be one in your life. Solomon would argue that he’s seen so many people and places over the millenia and he has lived long enough to know himself completely, and he knows that he loves you. He knows that no matter what happens or changes, his feelings for you will never waver. He will carry his love for you until the ends of time itself. It’s his curse to bear and the only thing that would make it bearable is being able to love you directly for as long as he’s given the chance.

Simeon: Simeon is the most patient and sympathetic as you ask him these questions. He would never invalidate your fears but he will confront them with you and break them down and banish them. Simeon is an angel who has watched over humanity for as long as they’ve been around. He has seen the best of the best and the worst of worst and still he’s never been tempted to turn away from his Father for one. At first, he could have explained it as curiosity and then fondness but it blossomed into the deep, unwavering love that he feels for you now. He sees your flaws and humanity and loves you all the more for it. You have become the new object of his worship and affection; he would fall from grace if it meant being able to hold you in his arms and shower you in the love he so truly believes you deserve. He will remind you every day of why you deserve to be happy and loved; he will tell you everything he loves about you from your smile to your kind heart to your most selfish desires. So, please, just put the same faith in him and his feelings that he puts in you and let him love you.

[visenyaism]

I made a great bastard oc and my original plan was to have her go insane and go to old valyria and definitely die there but when I told my sister about her it made her sad so she made her own oc to save mine haha. My oc is named Saena, and she's a bit obsessive, so she gets into researching everything that catches Her interest and hyperfixates so much that she can disappear into her library for days on end. Her hair has grown out all the way to her ankles because she keeps forgetting to cut it, and when she's really in research mode, she can go for days without sleep. Her main special interests are old valyrian magic and dragons, and she spends all her days researching old texts obsessively. Basically, everything the church would try to burn, ban, or kill she wants in on. She actually tries some magic herself and can do a few spells. it's a really, really good thing she's got her sister because without Baen (sisters oc), she would absolutely have become the Westerosi version of Dr. Frankenstein. Eventually, she becomes convinced that a random stone she finds is actually a dragon egg, and she's going to be the one to hatch it. She takes this as a grave and important responsibility and decides she must give her all to it. She decides the best way to prepare to have a dragon is to train birds of prey so that she can learn to work with predatory flying animals. … Unfortunately, she's terrible at falconry. Like comically bad, the birds all hate her. Her twin sister Baen is very supportive of her, though, and decides to step in to help. Baen is also terrible at falconry, though, just in the opposite direction. The birds all love her, but they're too spoiled to actually hunt. Saena and Baen end up with a whole flock of various birds, they've got falcons, hawks, crows, at least twelve pigeons, and one fancy foreign imported parrot their overly supportive step father bought them. They decide that their massive flock means they're clearly ready to be the best dragon riders the world has ever seen. Just one problem: Baen doesn't have an egg (Saena still believes in her rock). The pair decided to set out together to old valyria to find her one. Luckily for the girls, Baen misread their map and they end up in a random uninhibited archipelago instead. They are shocked to find “old valyria” is not the apocalyptic wasteland they were expecting. The girls are in awe of its natural beauty and filled with dreams of the glory of rebuilding their ancestral home. They go back to Westeros to try and recruit others for their cause. While there, they find out that the king legitimize them, and the girls are shocked and delighted at what they see as proof their birth father really always loved them deep down. They are heartbroken that he died just before they made it back home and thus missed out on the chance to reconnect with them that he so clearly desperately wanted. They decide that the only reasonable course of action here is to steal their fathers bones and reanimate them to try to bring him back. They grab the wrong bag of bones, though, so the guy they bring back is just a random civil servant. He's a little better off than Lady Stoneheart, but he lost all his mortal memories, so when they tell him he's their father, he just kinda goes along with it. The girls gather together a few of their half siblings and some knights whom their stepfather ordered to protect them and head off to their new island home. It turns out that the civil servant was actually very competent in life, so he's actually their saving grace. He takes over ruling the island, and they actually manage to build a thriving little community. Please ignore the occasional dark magic. Just ignore it.

Love everything about this

[creepychippy]

My Take on Kieran from the Pokemon SV Teal Mask DLC/his Pain/Trauma (obvious and major Spoilers to the Story under the Cut):

Carmine is seen throughout the Game insulting/not treating Kieran kindly. That has tremendous Effects on his Confidence and Self-Esteem (stuttering, not confident enough to talk to others, etc)

When he sees you, the Protagonist, he immediately places you on a Pedestal, basically idolizing you and thinking you can only do right/are not capable of making Mistakes (which is a very bad Thing to do, because when you put People on a Pedestal and think very highly of them, any Mistake they'll do will shatter the perfect Image you built of them and you will grow to resent that Person because of that. Instead of unyielding Love and Admiration for them, it will turn into bitter Hatred and a Grudge forms.)

The only Thing that brings him Comfort through all the Pain is Ogerpon. It basically became his Hyperfixation which you can see when he comes up with these wholesome Scenarios in his Head (hoping to meet Ogerpon one Day and become his Friend, invite Ogerpon to his Home, etc). He also sees Part of himself in Ogerpon, so because of that he thinks he would have a special Connection with this Pokemon.

Then you come along. At first, everything seems fine, but soon Things begin to turn negative. You lie to him (probably against your Will) as he tests you, so Part of his Trust is already once again shattered and his Self-Esteem worsens once again (he thinks you and Carmine laugh behind his back without having any Evidence for it. His Head tells him that this is the Truth).

Then, the only Source of Comfort turns away from him… and to you (it's like your Hyperfixation walking right up to you, only to push you aside and give someone else the Attention you always craved), so that is taken away from him as well. On top of that, the Person he once considered his Friend is understanding themself well with the one Person who always antagonized him… his Sister, Carmine.

His entire Environment is crumbling apart, so he tries to fight the Force that is destroying it… only to lose over, and over, and over again (without anyone telling him that the Person he is facing off against is considered a Champion in one Region, while he himself only has average Knowledge about battling. He was doomed to lose from the Start)

He is shown as this shy, meek Character at first, but if you pay Attention to the Details, you can quickly tell how his Frustrations, his Despair and his Anger are building up, bottling up within him (he punches a Shrine made out of Stone with his Fist (not thinking clearly and reacting based on his Emotions as he regrets doing that Moments later on, seeing how his Expression changes into a pained one and he shakes his Hand in Pain), he falls down to the Ground and pounds his Fist against the Floor, the Light in his Eyes vanishes, he clenches his Fists when thinking about you… but also mostly stays silent all the same, rarely shouting out in Anger.)

And to top it off… he seems to be a Child without Parents, only having his Grandparents around him, one of which has kept the true Story of Ogerpon hidden from him for many Years now.

Carmine assumed at some points that Kieran acted weirdly due to Hormones, since Kieran is in his Teen Years… and we know how irrational and emotional Teens can become due to Hormones.

It doesn't end there for him, however. As one of my best Friends pointed out while I was talking to him, Kieran's School Life doesn't seem great either. Remember how all giddy Kieran gets when he hears you considering him to be your Friend. That shows how he doesn't have any Friends at his School at all. It's no wonder how he considers himself to be an Outsider and how he asumes Carmine and you exclude him from Stuff even if there is once again no Proof for it.

One last Detail I think I noticed is how Kieran sabotages himself, whether he does it intentionally or not. He is clearly frustrated that Ogerpon prefers you over him. Yet, he abandoned Ogerpon when Ogerpon needed help the most (meanwhile, the Protagonist was always there for Ogerpon, so it makes Sense that Ogerpon would flock to them more than it would to Kieran). Instead of listening what others have to say and let them talk, he keeps running away before he can gain Information/their Side of the Story, twisting his Perception of others further. He is also always the one that demands to battle with you, despite Part of him knowing that he will lose.

To sum it up: Kieran is seemingly a shy and meek Boy who already had some Troubles in his Home-, Social- and School Life, resulting in his poor Self-Esteem and dwindling mental Health. Then he places the Protagonist on a high Pedestal (possibly due to Trauma and/or Loneliness) when they come along and idolize them, only for that Person to unintentionally and inevitably destroy everything he held dearly to him and turn his Life upside down.

Also, while I can't assume that he hates the Protagonist's Guts now and harbor a Grudge against them (since that would be kinda hypocritical considering he thought Carmine and the Protagonist were laughing behind his back without having any Evidence to back it up), it wouldn't be too surprising if it turned out that that was the Case, even if it is just a tiny Part of him that does so.

So, what exactly does all of this mean for Part 2 of the DLC?

Well, I think that maybe someone is going to take Advantage of the Situation and manipulate Kieran, as Kieran's mental Wellbeing is basically down the Drain at this point. The only Thing he, and possibly by Extension his Hatred, cares about is tearing us down. And considering how chaotic his Emotions must be right now, he won't think clearly about what he is doing, as proven by his past Actions… therefore giving others an Opportunity to manipulate him.

------

If anyone wants to add something onto this, feel free to do so. Also, if this Post feels scattered or weird, it's because I copy and pasted my Thoughts and Ramblings I had between me and my best Friend on Discord onto this Post, so that's why it might be all over the Place- uwu Please remember that I also played the DLC in German, so if some Things are different, then Parts of the Translations weren't the same as the English one- :^Pc

[italianhomosexuality]

you don't have to know what to say or what to think on ao3

The first time it happens, it's an honest mistake.

(The times after that are also honest mistakes, but Nico feels like he should've known better.)

He's been working really, really hard to learn American Sign Language. After his three days in the infirmary, after working night after night, talking to Mr. D, struggling to learn how to open up to other people and how to finally be a 15-year-old teenager who tries his best to not let his lifelong trauma get to him too much, Nico di Angelo had become close friends with one Will Solace.

He'd never thought he'd be able to have a friendship with someone like Will. Someone who didn't take shit from anyone—he made sure to make that clear—, but was doting and cared for everyone else, sometimes a little too much. Someone who was as bright as the sun itself, who could light stars in the sky just by smiling, who could coax Nico's fears out of him and make him feel equal, not judged.

Someone who Nico could see himself loving.

Okay, and, woah, that might be a little too far, but was he wrong? He was finally allowing himself to feel hope after The Incident (mental trademark), letting himself have friends and a crush that didn't feel like ripping his insides apart and stir-frying them for dinner. So what if Nico's eyes lingered a little too long on the way Will's hair glowed against the infirmary's emergency lights?

(“Nico, when the siren rings and lights up, you stop everything and you go help!”, Kayla had yelled at him the first time it happened. He only felt death in the air after Will finally started running after the patient.

It was that bad.)

Who could blame him, then, for wanting to learn the language the boy he liked felt more comfortable with? Will had assured him that he did just fine with English, that his Cabin Nine hearing aids worked more than perfectly, but Nico had seen the way he got excited whenever he got to sign with someone. There were a few Deaf demigods around camp and Will knew every single one of them. Sometimes, he would sign while speaking, and it made Nico's Italian self happy because hand gestures! Then it made Nico's gay self happy because Will's hands, oh my gods, and then Nico wanted to learn how to make Will's face light up like that.

So, he learned. He got familiar with the computer in the Big House, watching YouTube videos on the matter, practicing in the mirror, going up to other campers who were signers and fighting social anxiety like his life depended on it. He had nailed most stuff by week three. The power of hyperfixations.

He did it all hiding from Will, of course. It was meant to be a surprise. He would walk up to Will, sign something, and Will would be like, “Nico, I didn't know you signed!”, so Nico would reply, “I learned just for you!”, and they'd hold hands and kiss and skip into the sunset.

A guy can dream, right?

“Hey, Nico!” Will yells out from the infirmary steps. “I'm done with my shift. Wasn't expectin' to see you here.”

Gods, his accent is so cute.

“I just thought I'd stop by, see how you were doing,” says Nico, preparing himself mentally for what comes next. “I have a surprise for you, actually.”

“Oh, you do?” Will gives his side-tooth smile, the one he does when he's excited for something he doesn't want to show excitement over.

Nico takes a deep breath.

“Food-you-want?” He signs, slowly but surely. “Me-hungry.”

Will blinks.

“Do that again.”

A warm feeling bubbles up in Nico's chest. Embarrassment, adoration, nervousness, teenage crush? He doesn't really know. He only knows that Will's cheeks look flushed and his voice is barely above a whisper, a tone Nico doesn't get to hear often, so of course he signs his sentence again. He'd do anything Will asks for.

“Do the last sign again.”

“Hum,” Nico starts, feeling a little off. He signs it again, anyway, placing his hand shaped like a C in front of his torso, following a line from the center of his collarbones down to the middle of his chest, then vice-versa. “It means 'hungry'... Right?”

Will takes a deep breath, face redder than Nico's ever seen.

“It means 'hungry' when you do the movement once,” he explains, carefully, doing the sign. The same handshape and movement Nico did, but just once, from the collarbone to the middle of his chest. “When you do the movement twice… It means something else.”

“What does it mean?”

They stare at each other. Nico's eyes are wide. Will's eyes are so blue. Nico would pay more attention to the blue if he weren't so preoccupied with—

“It means 'horny'. You signed, I'm horny.”

—With running away.

☀️🤟🏻⭐️

The second time it happens, Nico is still embarrassed by the first one.

Maybe it had been his fault to not pay a lot of attention when the online video he was watching went over the five parameters of ASL. But it wasn't entirely his fault the two signs were so similar, right? Will assured him afterwards—after he found Nico and after a few awkward laughs—that it was a very, very common mistake. The signs were really similar, after all. Nothing wrong with admitting that.

Still, Nico couldn't help but feel his face heat up every time he remembered that day. He'd told his crush he was horny. Unwillingly, sure, but it was sort of true! Nico was still accepting what being horny meant, but he knew that, even in the mildest sense of the word, he was horny for Will. Embarrassing, but honest.

So now, they were hanging out in the Hades' cabin, just the two of us and a bunch of DVDs they'd stolen from the Apollo cabin and Chiron's stash in the Big House. A mix of old rom-coms, sci-fi, noir, and historical dramas, limitless options, but they still argued over what to watch.

Nico suggested, finally, Back to the Future. Will adjourned his case.

As Will walks back from the DVD player, having put the disk in there, Nico takes a deep breath.

“You-eat-want-what?” he signs, going over each sign in his head like a mantra. He does not need a repeat of last time. Then, he raises his eyebrows, signing, “Pizza?”

Will goes as red as a tomato in the face.

“N-No, I'm good,” Will stutters, fanning himself like Hazel does when she's shocked. “Not hungry.” 

“You just came back from a 12-hour shift,” Nico deadpans.

“Let's just watch the movie.”

So Nico is taken back to nights at the Lotus Hotel, when they would have movie nights and play Back to the Future in a loop. Marty McFly might have been his first boy crush. Briefly, he imagined Will in a costume like that for Halloween. But, for now, they're doing just fine, thighs close enough to touch, Will's hand nearly making its way to Nico's scalp for some good head scratches, and life is good.

Sooner than Nico would've liked, it's curfew time. The DeLorean is long gone, and Will is rising up to his feet, stretching, his shirt riding up, and Nico sees the sliver of skin, with a little of hair on his navel, and, oh, gods, he shouldn't be seeing this, but Will is really handsome, and—

“Walk me out?” he says, sweet as ever, and Nico can't say no.

“I had a good time,” says Nico, leaning on the door panel. The moonlight makes Will's hearing aids glimmer.

“Me too,” Will replies, smiling. “The infirmary today was as excitin' as a mashed-potato san'which, good Lord.”

His accent got thicker the more tired he got, just like Nico's.

“Good-night,” Nico signs. “Sleep-good, you.”

Will's eyes linger on Nico's hands, then on his face. His expression is unreadable. It seems… fond? Happy? Nico doesn't know. He just knows he wants that big smile.

“By the way, Nico,” Will starts, voice a little serious, “this is how you sign 'pizza'.”

He goes through the motions. It's just fingerspelling, Nico notices. P-i-z-z-a.

Nico furrows his brows. “What did I sign?”

“You signed…” Will takes a deep breath. “You asked me if I wanted to eat, uh, the… The female genitalia.”

Nico slams the door so hard he doesn't know how Will keeps all of his teeth and nose intact.

☀️🤟🏻⭐️

The third time it happens, Nico is just plain tired.

He had been on a week-long trip for his father, working on some old business in Louisiana, fighting the occasional monster that came his way and shadow-traveling out of danger—no longer to an inch of his life because he didn't want to make Will worry about him. His clothes are a mess, his hair is greasy, there's soil built up under his fingernails, he hasn't had an actual meal in days, and he's exhausted to say the least.

After showering, eating, and bed-rotting any leftover worries away, he sleeps for fifteen hours straight. He wakes up still exhausted, though a little less, so he walks up to the infirmary since he has nothing better to do. Might as well get a check-up while he's there.

“Good morning, Sunshine,” he says to the head of blond hair when he sees it.

“Good afternoon, di Angelo,” Will replies, looking ready to tackle any challenge, bloody or non-human, that comes his way in his combination of scrubs, cargo shorts, and Jesus sandals. “You look like you're near 'bout past goin'.”

Nico doesn't know what he's saying, but shrugs anyway. “I'm tired.” Then, he signs, “Me-tired. Coffee, me-need.”

Will smirks.

“All you had to do was ask, Death Boy,” he replies, amused, and Nico lights up.

“You have coffee?” He doesn't know why Will looks so smug about coffee, in a way he's never looked before, but he lets himself be led to the infirmary kitchen, watches Will drape over the Nespresso machine, churning out a nice cup of pure, slightly-processed espresso.

The smell is enough to make Nico's eyes open a little more.

“Also,” Will says, putting his doughnut down by the table, still smirking for reasons unknown, “the sign for 'coffee' goes like this.”

He demonstrates. Nico barely follows, focused on taking a sip from his coffee.

“You signed, I need to make-out. You've gotta pay more attention, di Angelo, or— oh, my gods, Nico, breathe! You're gonna burn your throat! Nico!”

☀️🤟🏻⭐️ 

Nico is tired of failing.

It's not like he's failed-failed. Will has been more than helpful, willing to show him the ropes and correct his signs, and they've actually spent more time with the other Deaf campers, practicing and practicing. Nico is still fighting the flush that decorates his cheeks whenever he signs with someone else, but he's getting there. Anything for that megawatt Will Solace smile.

So, on the Fourth of July, as they're watching the fireworks, Will takes his hearing aids off, saying the noise makes it hurt. Nico gets a little antsy, but shakes it off, and would rather focus on the way the red, white, and blue from the sky makes Will's freckles change colors, too.

And he looks so good tonight. He ditched his usual medic attire for something still Will, a white tank top, denim shorts, an American flag bandana to keep his curls out of his eyes and flip-flops. Nico dressed similarly, but in a black t-shirt and black shorts, black socks and black sneakers. No bandana; only Will can pull it off.

The tank-top is low cut enough that Nico can see his tattoo peeking out. Gods, he's so beautiful, he thinks to himself, lost in thought he almost misses the way Will is waving his hand in front of Nico's face.

“Hi,” Will signs. “Here, fun.”

Nico nods.

“Confess-me,” Will signs. It's a closed fist by his sternum, opening outwards, like he's pulling something out of his chest. Nico translates it to, I need to tell you something, then nods again. Will takes a deep breath. “Me-like-you. Me-like-like-you.”

Nico's breath is stolen. He doesn't know where it went. He doesn't know what's going on. Off in the distance, someone whoops loudly and a group of campers cheer, but he can only focus on the opaque thump of the fireworks and his own heartbeat increasing pace against his chest. Will is staring at him, blue eyes like the sky, like the bandana, like the prettiest gemstone one could conjure.

“Sign-you-learn. Why? Me. Special-you. Me-like-you, why? You.” When he points at Nico, the final 'you', he does a flourish, like he's honoring Nico. You learned sign for me. You're special. I like you because you're you.

Nico feels words bubbling up in his throat, but doesn't let himself say anything. Instead, he moves his hands like he's practiced so many times in front of the mirror before.

“Me-like-you. Long-how? Long. Favorite-person, you-mine. Date-you, I want.”

I've liked you for a long time. You're my favorite person. I'd like to date you.

With that, he finally gets a megawatt Will Solace smile.

[yanteetle]

consider: yandere turtles with an s/o who's a famous singer/actress/youtuber/whatever

obsession would start before y/n even knows who the turtles are lol

OOoOKAYY SO. Basically the anonymous fan turned stalker and obsessive maniac. Personally one of my lesser favored tropes in yandere media, but lets see.

I see Mikey as someone who's more likely to fall into this trope, knowing how he idolizes Meatsweats despite being enemies. He'd drop at any opportunity to interact with his darling idol, and he'd fork out all his money in mrs porky coin for a chance to even LOOK at them in the flesh. Tropes like these make kidnapping much harder, but it also enhances their desperation for their darling. Mostly because the yandere themselves are forced to love them from afar. Remember those obsessive fans that harrass their favourite idols? Mikey takes this to a whole new level, especially because of his more anonymous prescence as a sewer-living turtle. His darling can never catch a break with him around.

Donnie, being the autistic mf he is, would probably accidentally get hyper-fixated on his darling's life, merch, relationships, and everything revolving them. He'd lay off trying to interact with them for some time, probably wanting to bide his time and ensure he makes every interaction he has with his idol go as well as humanly possible. Thus, he becomes a very devoted stalker towards them. And he gets so deep into his obsession, he starts to realize this isn't purely a hyperfixation; he's loving them from afar in the unhealthiest way possible. Once he's very sure he knows y/n inside out, he'll start interacting with his darling. He's basically 2012 Donnie (planning how to hang out with April) when it come to his darling.

Leo is more likely to obsess over a darling who's more obscure and less famous. Something he could consider 'his little secret', which will mostly soothe his possessive nature. He'd get irritated when he meets other fans, especially if they end up gushing about his darling in front of him. In his head, only he gets to gush about them like that. Not them! (may or may not end up trying to kill y/n's other fans if they seem to like you a little too much) He likes the idea of loving y/n being his 'little secret', and oftentimes lurks around them anonymously, only to 'accidentally' bump into them and slowly creep into their life and befriend his beloved little secret.

Raph? Oh man, have you seen how he's like with Ghostbear?? I don't even need to explain him too much, but let's say the way he idolizes y/n can get very.. out of hand. He believes that y/n could do no wrong, so even if they get cancelled for the worst of crimes/actions, he's out there defending their honor like it's what he was born to do. Even if y/n goes out of his way to treat him like shit, he'll still be there taking every insult and mean word. All while kicking his feet like a little schoolgirl and twirling his nonexistent hair. He's down bad, and it gets even worse than Ghostbear.

[bloodpen-to-paper]

Heya, I don't plan to talk about it much but due to what happened with forever, who was my fav and really the heart of the project for me, I'm probably not going to post about Qsmp much anymore. Or if I do, it'll take a while. But please read if you're in the same boat as me, its kind of a ramble and you can skip certain parts but I'd like to hear your thoughts. The last couple of paragraphs touch on some stuff that I hope can help be worth your while, whether you're here for the Qsmp stuff or the mental health part.

Now this is absolutely not to say the rest of the project doesn't matter or that people should give up on it. The Qsmp is incredible and should be known for what it has achieved: breaking language barriers and uniting communities. Its wonderful, unique, and still has so much to offer in terms of content creation, so please don't let the whole of it be tarnished for what happened with one creator (we've seen that before already and it sucks). Personally, it got me back into streaming content/mcyt and I'd like to stay more present this time, its so much fun and its nice knowing I can sort of drift back and forth when new things pop up. If you're in the same boat, I encourage you to not feel like its all over immediately if you still feel a passion for this kind of work, maybe you won't get back into it but maybe you just need a bit of time. Whatever you feel, as long as you're happy and having fun you're doing it right.

So, personal feelings (which I suck at but its better than bottling my thoughts and I encourage others to do the same). I'm fucking devastated lmao. His character was my absolute hyperfixation, I'm talking 24/7 brainrot for months. I haven't felt this passionate for a character since dsmp, I honestly didn't know I could still do it. But there's another layer. I live in the U.S., and I'm Brasilian-American. In the U.S., you don't hear anyone saying shit about Brasil. You hear a lot about Mexico, but nothing really south of that, and if you do its usually about sexualizing Brasilian women or narcotics and gang stuff. Not the best representation for little me, admittedly. When you-know-who won the Qsmp Election, y'all I felt something in me spark to life that I hadn't felt since we won the Olympic soccer tournament in Rio in 2016. I'm proud to be Brasilian, I've always been proud of it, but its a pride that's been limited to sports and my own personal experiences. To see myself represented, to see Brasil naturally enter the conversation for a piece of media I loved that I didn't know would have us, and to see us win something, phew, shit got me higher than my wisdom tooth removal. We Brasilians banded together to secure the win, and what's more, my fav cc on the project was the one at the center. I felt so happy, for my country, my community, and for myself. And I know recent events might taint that memory for some of us, but I refuse to look back on my feelings from back then negatively. That was one of the best damn moments in my chronically online life, and I will always remember it with pride and joy, along with the many other moments when this wonderful server made me proud to be me.

So, naturally, when the news hit I was pretty fucked up over it. Still am tbh, but better now that I've had sleep (though it took me a while to fall asleep because of course my sleep gets ruined by bad feelings, bleh). All this to ultimately say it sucks. Like, it really fucking sucks. The anxiety, the disappointment, the sadness, and the uncertainty of "what now?". Might be sounding dramatic but again, 24/7 brainrot/serotonin supply for months that connected me to my culture abruptly cut off because of pedophile allegations. C'mon Satan, I already have to go to therapy, you didn't have to kick this horse while it was down. Joking aside, if you feel as absolute dogshit as I do and have that kind of anxiety where the world feels like its about to end because moments like these leave you with the rug pulled out from under you and the uncertainty leaves you not knowing what to do with your life after this... well, welcome to the boat, bathroom's on the lower deck and snacks are in the lobby. And also I'm here, and everyone else who's been left in the same crummy place emotionally. We're here together, and I hope that can help you, cause I know for me the worst part is feeling alone in it all, but I'm not, and neither are you. We're here, holding hands and cursing existence for putting us here and making us so sensitive and giving us something great only for it to end up hurting us. We're here, and if you wanna say anything, my DMs, comments, asks, whatever you'd want to talk through, are all open.

Now comes the hardest part: acknowledgement and playing the waiting game. Like I said, if you're feeling like me, this kind of anxiety and disappointment has you feeling like its all over. So now's when you gotta remind yourself that the only thing that's over is this moment in your life when you enjoyed a Thing. That Thing can have meant a lot to you, it could have gotten you out of really dark places, and it could be something you'll still think about down the line. It can be something like minecraft cube people that you (I) got way too emotionally attached to. And for whatever reason, that Thing could have meant the absolute world, whether other people would've understood it or not. Its not your fault it ended the way it did, life just does that sometimes, as unsatisfying of an answer as that is. But its true, and its an important lesson. The Thing is over.

You know what's not over though? You. You're life. Whatever the hell you are doing and will do in the future. If this was the best thing in your life you had going for you, I am so fucking sorry. You deserved to be happy with it, we both did. But I promise you, this Thing is a moment in your story, not the whole story. This really was the source of my joy for the past few months, and if its the same for you, I see you. We can feel like shit together, along with the rest of this wonderful community who understand it too. And you know what else we're gonna do? Live, and move on. Not now, maybe not for while, but we're human beings, we persist (sometimes that might look like you're dragging your battered self out of a trench smelling like depression and expired cheese, but you'll get out of the trench, we both will). There's too much to life for this to be what stops you from finding the rest, whether that's some dramatic life change that completely changes the world as you know it for the better... or just figuring out what comes next. Taking a shower, watching that movie you were waiting for the right moment to watch (I'd say this qualifies), setting up a therapy appointment maybe. Whatever you do to feel like a person again, you have that to do, and later down the road you'll have new Things that give it all meaning. So keep yourself going, hit up me or others who would get it, and do what you gotta do to let it pass. Because it will pass.

Deep breaths friend, I'll be cheering for you when it does

[cantstoptheimagines]

Eighteen (JJ Maybank | Outer Banks)

Summary — Your life changes for the better after you go against your family’s idea of an ideal boyfriend.

Warnings and Other Tags (Contains a Small Spoiler for the Plot of This Work) ➳ Fake dating; friends to lovers; cursing; mentions of sugar mama antics; physical affection (kissing, hugging, etc.); John B trying his best; Reader’s parents are jerks (trying to set the Reader up with Rafe); matching tattoos (including mentions of needles); Reader is a kook; my new hyperfixation with this show is still shining through.

Notes ➳ Word Count is 3,315, including lyrics. ➳ Reader uses feminine pronouns (she/her) and gets referred to with traditionally feminine nicknames (“princess”, “pretty girl”, and others).  ➳ This is for everyone who voted for JJ on my recent poll. Don’t worry, “Stolen Love” will be coming very soon for those of you who chose John B! 💗 ➳ This is based on “Eighteen” by Anarbor. That song screams JJ Maybank energy! ➳ This work has a visual edit!

FAQ | Masterlist | Fandoms | Requests | Coming Soon | Schedule 

Eighteen, crazy! Pulled up in your daddy’s car! You wanna move in with me! Guess we're off to a heavy start!

The sound of an approaching car drew JJ’s attention away from his motorbike. The vehicle’s striking red shade made it instantly recognizable. He waved at you with a smile as you stepped out, though it quickly faded at the sour expression on your face.

“What crawled up your ass?” he chuckled.

You rolled your eyes, choosing to ignore his question. You crossed your arms over your chest, and then asked, “Do you think John B would care if I stayed here for a while?” 

JJ’s eyebrows shot up at your question. He glanced at the Château. John B was inside and probably having lunch or taking a midafternoon nap. JJ twirled a wrench he had been holding in his hand as he narrowed his eyes at you. He then placed the wrench back into his tool bag and wiped his hands on a rag.

“Not with an attitude like that.”

You huffed, shoving his shoulder. Despite your bad mood, JJ could make out the remnants of a smile growing on your face. He grinned and began poking at your ribs until it appeared. 

“There you go!” he exclaimed, pinching your cheeks and gently shaking your head from side to side. “Now, tell Papa J what’s wrong.”

“Stop calling yourself that,” you laughed before shoving his hands away.

His grin only widened, “It made you smile though! That’s a win in my book! But seriously, why do you wanna stay at the Château? Get tired of Figure Eight, princess?” 

“More like my parents,” you scoffed. “They tried to push me off onto Rafe Cameron at their stupid business dinner last night—”

“Gross,” interjected JJ.

“I know!” you exclaimed. “Anyway, it’s been non-stop arguing with them since then. Mostly my dad.”

JJ nodded in understanding. He had more issues with his own father than he cared to admit. To you, at least. He didn’t want you to worry too much.

“They want me to date some washed up, rich boy if it means more money in their pockets at the end of day. They’ve been trying to increase their chances of a business deal with Rafe’s dad, Ward,” you continued. “I guess pawning me off to his son was something they thought would get themselves in his good graces.”

“Sounds shitty,” said JJ, once again glancing at the Château. “C’mon, I’ll talk to John B for you. I’m sure he won’t mind. Got any bags in your car?”

Another smile brightened your features. As you nodded, JJ couldn’t help admiring your sudden cheerfulness. He quickly helped collect the few bags you had shoved into the backseat of your car, carrying them into Château as he thought about how to explain your situation to John B.

Should’ve seen this coming from a mile away! I’ll play your game! I know what you want from me! I know what you want from me!

Thankfully, the pogues had a rule about sticking together. Not to mention, John B had always been a good friend to everyone. He had immediately welcomed you into the Château with open arms, even offering you his own bedroom while he took up the couch. You had politely declined, of course, not wanting to overstay your welcome in your new refuge. 

JJ, on the other hand, had been a little more difficult. He refused to let you sleep on the couch, and vice versa, which eventually led to your current situation.

You furrowed your eyebrows, pressing your face into your pillow as quiet snores echoed in your ear. You sent an elbow into JJ’s ribcage. He let out a groan, and muttered, “What?”

“Get off me and stop snoring,” you replied. 

JJ, albeit begrudgingly, complied with your demands. He removed his arms from their position around your torso. The blankets shifted as he rolled over, turning his back to you. 

Within seconds, he was snoring again with the blankets pulled up to his chin and his face squished against his pillow. You rolled your eyes with a smile before trying to rub the sleep from your eyes. 

For the last month or so, ever since you came to live with the boys at the Château, you had been staying in JJ’s room with him. Thankfully, John B hadn’t said anything about how much closer the two of you had become. You probably wouldn’t know how to respond if he did.

Waking up with JJ clinging to you had slowly become a regular occurrence. It was one of the many things that had changed about your friendship since you left Figure Eight. The two of you were much closer, both physically and emotionally.

Your family didn’t know where you were. Either that or they just didn’t want to intentionally come to the Cut, lest their precious reputations be ruined. And, despite their constant ignored messages and phone calls, you had no intention of telling them, especially when they had recently gotten Rafe in on the action.

You could only imagine your father’s face when Rafe told him you had blocked his number. Your parents’ idea of a perfect match, rejected not once, but twice. What a nightmare this must be for them. 

But later that day, as you wandered through the farmers’ market with JJ slowly trailing behind you, poking your sides as you tried to choose some flower seeds. Despite the boys’ hesitations, you were determined to clean up the yard of the Château as a thank-you to John B. 

“Can I at least choose the color?” asked JJ. “ Get forget-me-nots! At least they’re blue! John B and I don’t want the place to look too... frilly.”

You scoffed, “Seriously? Has no one ever given you flowers before?”

“Nope,” he shook his head, “can’t say they have.”

You hummed, giving him a once-over, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“What’s that supposed to—?”

He was interrupted by a voice calling your name. Looking up, your eyes met the surprised gaze of your mother, who stared at you as though she were seeing a ghost.

She stood on the other side of the table, a bag over her shoulder and eyes shielded by an extravagant sunhat. Typical.

“Let’s go, J,” you muttered, quickly grabbing his arm, only for your mother to dart around the table and block your path. 

“Please, wait!” she exclaimed. “I—uh—I miss you! And I’ve been worried sick!”

You scoffed, shaking your head at her, “Yeah, right. I’m sure you’ve just been worried about what the country club thinks about your kid running away. Or have you even told them? Wouldn’t wanna ruin your precious reputation, would we?” 

“Your dad wants to make things right,” she whispered, tears welling, though you couldn’t tell if they were true or for a performance. “Just hear him out, please? Come home for dinner tonight. We want you home again.” 

You felt JJ’s arm escape your grasp. His hand slid up your back, gently rubbing the space between your shoulder blades. His clothes brushed against yours when he moved closer. Only then did your mother seem to notice him. 

Her eyes narrowed in his direction and, for a moment, you could see through her façade. Taking a deep breath, she spoke in a strained voice, “Friend of yours?” 

In an instant, you hatched a plan. Whether JJ would go along with it, you weren’t entirely sure. But maybe he’d be surprised enough to fall in line. 

“Boyfriend, actually,” you smiled.

Her reaction satisfied you. Though you had to ignore the way JJ’s attention suddenly snapped to you, eyes wide and mouth slightly open in shock. Your mother’s reaction was similar, although you could see disgust flaring within her. More than her bewilderment anyway.

Her jaw clenched. Her eyes slowly raked over JJ, whose hand had moved to tightly grasp your shoulder, silently asking the only question that was running through his mind. What the hell are you doing?

Taking advantage of your mother’s silence, you feigned innocence, “You know what? I think I will come over tonight. I’ll even bring JJ along.” 

JJ practically choked on air. His grip on you tightened even more. His fingertips dug into your skin and his hand shook under your mother’s gaze. Her eyes were burning with an internal fury.

After a moment, she took another deep breath, “I will let your father know then. See you tonight.” 

She scurried away. If she had a tail, it would be between her legs. The thought of such a thing made your smile widen. It wasn’t until JJ suddenly grabbed your wrist that your focus was brought back to him.

His blue eyes appeared as though they would pop out of his head at any second. Slowly, his lip curled, “We gotta talk.” 

You know I’m broke, so you pulled out your daddy’s card! I drink, I smoke, you ate it up from the very start!

Ever since the two of you got back to the Château, the house had been filled with nothing but interrupted sentences, conditions, denials, and partial agreements as you tried to come to a compromise with JJ. Though it didn’t take him long to agree to being your fake boyfriend for your parents’ dinner, the two of you were still working out your respective terms and conditions.

Meanwhile, John B sat in silence, slowly eating a bowl of cereal, as his eyes repeatedly shifted between his two best friends. You sat to his right while JJ took up the chair to his left, sitting directly across from one another at the kitchen table. That gave John B a chance to enjoy the show. And he had been doing so for at least an hour and a half, according to his watch.

“I get to touch your butt at least once—”

“You do that anyway, perv—!”

“I do not!” glared JJ, crossing his arms over his chest when you gave him a look of disbelief. “What about a hand in the back pocket?”

You narrowed your eyes at him, kissed your teeth, and then sighed, “Fine! One time.”

JJ pointed at you with a grin, “In front of your dad.”

“Don’t push it,” you said. “But if you get to do that, I get to choose what shirt you’re wearing!” 

“Shit,” he muttered, groaning loudly as he thought it over. “Alright, okay! I get to throw something extra in to really piss ‘em off though. And you have to sugar mama me so I can pay for it! And you can’t know what it is until tonight!”

“Only if you lend me your good surfboard for tomorrow’s swell,” you replied. “Not that shitty one you gave me last time.”

“Deal,” smiled JJ, holding out his hand for you to shake, which you did. “Pass over the credit card, pretty girl.” 

You rolled your eyes at him. He quickly snatched it from your hand after it appeared out of your back pocket, grinning mischievously as he said, “Thank you! See ya tonight!”

As he darted out the door of the Château with your father’s credit card in hand, you turned to John B, and asked, “Should I be worried?”

“Oh!” he scoffed. “More than you’ve ever been!” 

He smirked upon hearing you let out a loud groan. Your forehead then thump!-ed against the kitchen table as you allowed your head to fall forward, thinking about what nefarious plan JJ could possibly have up his sleeve.

So if you wanna piss off your parents, date me to scare them, show them you’re all grown up!

You anxiously paced in front of your parents’ house, searching for any sign of JJ. He was late, which, to be quite honest, you weren’t sure if you were disappointed or impressed by. You could only imagine the smirks on your parents’ faces inside the house, probably expecting you to concede to their ideas about Rafe.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, a red and blue dirt bike tore into the front yard. JJ grinned when he came to a stop, looking over his shoulder to see how much damage he had done to the yard. Your mother’s flowers were destroyed and mud had been ripped up and strewn about your father’s freshly cut lawn.

He approached you with a smile, slipping the credit card he had borrowed earlier into your back pocket. He then patted your waist with a wink, “Ready for this, babe?”

You snorted, rolling your eyes at him, “As I can be.”

“Let’s get this show on the road then!” he grinned.

You blinked in surprise when he suddenly began pounding on the front door of the house with his fist. You chuckled when he winked at you again. You couldn’t stop yourself from admiring his appearance.

Per your agreement, you had chosen his shirt. A deep green cut off that you thought brought out his eyes, but knew your parents would hate no matter what. The rest of his outfit was all JJ though. His usual pair of thick workers’ boots, some cargo shorts, and his favorite red and grey hat, which sat backwards on his head.

It wasn’t long before the door was yanked open. In front of you stood your father. His eyes twitched in irritation and he sneered as his gaze trailed over JJ’s appearance. He then turned away without a word, not even bothering to greet either of you.

With wide eyes, JJ looked at you with a sarcastic grin, “We’re off to a great start, aren’t we?”

If blond hair and tattoos are what attract you, baby, then you’re in luck!

“So,” your mother began, “what does JJ do for work?”

For what felt like the millionth time, you raised your eyebrows at her, “Why are you asking me? Talk to him. I’m sure he’ll be glad to tell you.” 

And again, she looked shaken by the very thought of speaking to a pogue. She had yet to address him directly, choosing to ask you about him instead. She obviously preferred to treat him as though he wasn’t in her presence at all.

Meanwhile, your father had done nothing but glare at JJ the entire night, especially when JJ had very obviously groped your behind like the two of you had agreed. Right after JJ had given him a high-five instead of a handshake, all with a wide, arrogant smirk on his face. 

“I mow lawns and stuff sometimes,” said JJ, shoveling some spaghetti into his mouth with a loud slurp, almost making you fall apart with laughter at the sight of your parents’ disgusted expressions. “I’m a busboy too.”

You heard your mother take a deep breath. Her hand gripped her fork so hard you thought the metal might snap in two.

“Any tattoos?” she asked, still speaking to you rather than him. “You know how I feel about—”

“Oh!” interrupted JJ. “I’ve got one, but I’ve been thinking about getting more!”

Even you looked at him in surprise that time. You never knew JJ had a tattoo, especially since he had never mentioned it or shown it off. You watched as he stood up from his chair with a mischievous smile. 

It was a bad decision to take a drink of your water at that moment. You choked on your drink as JJ lifted the bottom of his shirt and slightly tugged down the waistband of his cargo shorts.

There, on his right hip, written black ink and a beautiful font, was your name. It still had the protective, clear wrap on top of it and his skin was slightly red around the edges of the ink, meaning he must have just gotten the tattoo recently.

Your mind flashed back to the moment he’d asked for your credit card, claiming you’d see his surprise during dinner. This must have been what he was talking about.

Your hands flew to cover your mouth as you stared at the tattoo. Sure, JJ had always been a wild card, totally unpredictable, but this was something else entirely. As your father’s chair suddenly scraped loudly against the floor and his stomps echoed behind him as he left the room, your mother’s silverware clattered onto the floor. She looked like she would be sick if JJ continued showing off his new ink any longer.

With a smile and a quiet laugh, JJ glanced at the tattoo before his eyes met yours. They twinkled with an emotion you couldn’t pin down. His blue eyes sent chills down your spine, though they weren’t out of fear. In fact, you were certain that they did so out of excitement instead.

Finally, he decided to speak, “Pretty cool, right?”

And I know it’s just a phase! You’re not in love with me! You wanna piss off your parents, baby! Piss off your parents, that’s alright with me!

Sprawled out on JJ’s sheets, you stared at the ceiling of his room. He had been mindlessly scrolling on his phone next to you since the two of you got back from dinner with your parents, who both agreed you were no longer welcome until you ‘came to your senses’.

“How much was it?”

JJ hummed, furrowing his eyebrows at you. He turned off his phone and rolled onto his side to look at you. When you did the same, you repeated your question, “How much was the tattoo?”

He huffed, “Don’t worry about it.” 

“So you’re never going to tell me?”

“Nope! And you’re not allowed to look at your dad’s bank statement to find out!”

You bit your lip, trying to hide a smile, “He’s gonna be pissed.”

“That was kinda my job,” he whispered, as though you didn’t know that, “and I think I did it pretty well, don’t you?” 

“I suppose so,” you laughed quietly. “Don’t expect too much sugar mama money anymore though. I have a feeling they’ll cut the allowance they add onto my card each month. All I’ll have is my paycheck from the Wreck soon.”

“With that, my money from the club on Figure Eight, and John B’s, we should be okay,” he shrugged, before giving you a mean smirk. “Just means I’ll have to put up with you as a roommate for way longer than I wanted to.”

He laughed when you punched him in the shoulder. He quickly grabbed your wrist and tugged you closer, “Is that any way to treat your boyfriend?”

Now, leaning over top of him, you paused. JJ’s fingers ran back and forth over your wrist, helping you keep your balance with a hand on your waist. He looked up at you, eyes softening as they examined your features. 

“J?”

“Yeah?”

“Before they cut me off,” you muttered, “I wanna give you some flowers tomorrow.”

JJ furrowed his eyebrows, unsure of why you were bringing up your conversation at the farmers’ market. That is, until your free hand gently caressed over his hip, where, just beneath his shirt, your name lay engraved into his skin. And a smile grew on his face at the thought.

And I know it's just a phase! You’re not in love with me! And I know it’s just a phase! You’re not in love with me!

JJ held onto your hand, gently caressing your knuckles with the pad of his thumb as you winced at the feeling of the tattoo needle against your skin.

Your left hip was being decorated with JJ’s name, along with a small bundle of forget-me-nots. He had already gotten an identical copy of the flowers added in the space next to his own tattoo.

He leaned down, pressing a series of kisses against your forehead, “So does this mean we’re actually a couple now?”

“We better be.”

You wanna piss off your parents, baby! Piss off your parents, that’s alright with me!

[elkkiel]

Sorry friends, this is gonna be a long one. I feel like speaking in a space where someone may see and perceive what I'm saying is helpful to personal accountability. Please feel free to skip, it's more of a thought dump than anything (I am midway through writing now and I think I lost the plot a while ago lol)

Topics covered: grind culture, mental health, self-care, and learning when to manually sound the alarm for yourself as an audhd-er in the deep end of life.

Here's some tags that I left on the the grind culture reblog before this. I just wanted to share some thoughts and didn't want them to get lost; I feel like making a proper post really solidifies the situation (sorta like getting those abstract thoughts from your head onto paper, and realizing just how bad it is when it's all laid out before you.) And I want to make a change when I can finally get my head above water.

I think it can be especially difficult for us AuDHDers, since we don't necessarily have alarm bells installed that neurotypicals in similar situations may have but "choose" (consciously or not) to ignore. Things can really spiral into a bad place quickly if you don't have the cues or signs to alert you. We need to be diligent in doing those manual checks ourselves, KNOWING that we have struggles that make life just that much more difficult.

Take inventory of your life. Do you allocate time to self-care activities, and/or are those the right activities for you? Turns out for me that building a complex skin care routine (as suggested by mainstream self-care culture) only stresses me out more. Especially when I never have the energy to do it, making me feel bad when I only manage to do the basics *sometimes* (and the stress acne persists smh my head). My therapist recommended productive activities that involve both current hyperfixes and that ADHD Motor™. I want to learn basic carpentry over the summer, since I love working with my hands! For now, drawing masked men as cats will suffice (though I will not complain about the kittenification of my faves)

Choose a moment to consciously feel how your body is feeling. Check in with yourself! This is important for my alexithymia bitches. Are you more fatigued than usual? Are your muscles tense for some reason? Have you been hungry with no appetite? If you notice anything, let's make some connections—really dig into it. The instance I mentioned in the tags above was a really clear one for me. I took like 12 hours on the IV in the Ivy art instead of coursework, and that weekend I slept almost 22 hours. A few days later, I'm still in a cycle of horrible fatigue and excessive sleep. Connecting the trigger event (taking the time to create "unnecessary" art) to current sensations (extreme fatigue) is giving me insight into how stressed I actually am that I wouldn't have really seen otherwise.

I'm also feeling more and more aware of how activities and things become a bit of a crutch to avoid expending energy on social activities. Idk how many other people deal with this particular problem, but I have almost zero social drive. Like I legitimately don't feel the need to meet people and see friends. Almost 100% of my social needs are covered by talking to my parents, chatting with the girls at work (while at work) and passively absorbing interactions from complete strangers within earshot. It's one of the big things I'm continually documenting for when I can finally afford to get evaluated for autism (babygirl I don't even have enough for the ADHD assessment yet and that's more crucial for disability stuff lol) and it makes life real tough.

Not having the time nor the drive to invest in relationships really stunts you as a person in my experience. I don't know how to actually quantify what makes a friend (e.g. are we friends because we are Tumblr mutuals who haven't had an actual conversation but hype each other up in notes?) and I don't have any time to learn. I can't participate in leisure activities that may take some of the pressure off since I haven't been able to practice initiating interactions. It baffles me how some of the girls at work just casually meet up outside of work, or make plans out of the blue in a conversation (how tf do you gauge when/if to propose something????)

Like, it's bad. I haven't seen my best friend in a year and a half, and even the term "best friend" almost definitely isn't accurate in this scenario anymore. It's just another stressor that could potentially be avoided by lifting one's nose from the grindstone, but it's so intimidating to even try at this point. I don't feel the drive to be friends, but something tells me it's healthier than being alone with my work and thoughts.

Idk I think that's all I have for now. I definitely went on a tangent or two that don't connect back to the original idea so apologies for the letter-based vomit.

ty if you read any of this, if you have any thoughts or input I'm always open for replies or asks. The world is big and fast and horrible and confusing a lot of the time, but I think sharing experiences helps to keep things in perspective.

maybe I'll ask more targeted questions for community input some other time because I'm genuinely curious how to navigate around social deficits (the "who is a Friend and why?" thing especially because I genuinely have zero clue)

anyways have a good day, drink some water, take ur meds, and be kind to yourself

[kitsu-katsu]

I'm gonna make this post as condenaed and abridged brainrot to explain why Victor Frankenstein is my boy from 200 yr old media prompted by a tag question from @samathekittycat in a post I reblogged because that highjacking would've been too much

So. Basically every adaptation ever is way off, Victor in the og novel is a guy from a rich family, yes, but one that has it's own fucked up occurrences that shape him even though he says his life is the peak of idyllic and that can lead to really good character analysis

He becomes an alchemy fanatic at 13, completely obsesses over it, even harder when his father claims the whole subject to be trash and he's in general somewhat fascinated by natural occurrences as well, so he gets it into his head that he wants to change the world by attaining the alchemist dream of basically defeating death, and this is all exacerbated when he's about to be sent away to study in Ingolstadt at 17 and just days before his mother dies of an illness his cousin-sister-future wife (it's complicated, it's a whole mess with hiw mother's involvement too) contracted first, so his trip is delayed a bit, but he never really processes his grief and is not that interested in actual science at first until a professor he meets there validates the alchemists ambition and he starts to hyperfixate on science so bad he's surpassed his professors in 2 years, and with all this baggage, at 19, he decides he's going to decode the secrets of death basically, because as he sees it at this point, if applied enough in the right direction with a scientific method any mediocre man could change society

So he builds his creatire after 2 years of isolating himself completely to do it, so he finishes it at like 21, and the thing is, the guy basically did all of this in a hyperfocused state he started at 19 and influenced by All That Baggage and grief he has Not Processed, so he wasn't really thinking about the consequences of anything. So his creature opens its eyes and suddenly the weight and terror of everything falls upon him along with a good mix of uncanny valley, and he just. Collapses. He sleeps a bit, his creature's still there, and he's so scared he runs away from his dorm room and by chance meets with his bff who was back in Geneva with the rest of his family he hasn't talked to in 2 whole years, his creature sneaks out while this is happening, and when going back, Victor is so mentally collapsed and strained and also scared he mighr be called crazy that he's just glad that the creature's gone and enters a fragile state where he's just completely physically sick and done for for a Big While, he can't take care of himself anymore and can't even look at anything relatingnto science anymore

When he's getting better, he has to go back to Geneva because his brother died. Whoah-oh, it was the Creature. He confronts it eventually and it asks for a bride and promises to go away with her, this is a Whole Conflict, because Victor can't reveal what he knows or he'll be labelled insane, he also doesn't wanna finish the bride because she'll also be her own person and what if she doesn't wanna run away with og Creature as his bride? While all of this is happening, one family servant is being accused of the murder and trialed, Victor is squealing in a corner

Basically, he's very autistic, he's seen a hysteric, his creation of the Creature can be analyzed from so many different angles, from teenage pregnancy and postpartum depression, trans experiences (both transmasc and transfemme! I've seen excellent analysis from both perspectives, though I have a personal bias towards the transmasc reading), the process of artist in general (like, that point when you start drawing something and you start zooming into every detail for hours and once you zoom out again you realize you don't like how it came out at all even though you put so much time into it), his illnesses and disabilities both mental and physical are really interestingly depicted as well, overall, he's a very meaty character who was FAR from making everything right, in fact, he did a lot wrong, but he's also a victim of his circumstances, a teen/young adult in the whole duration of the thing, and is suffering tons of pressure from everywhere while losing his purpose and selse of self to his opposition to his own creation. They are the definition of "they can make eachother worse" and Victor loses everything. He's a tragedy. A tragedy that a lot of people wanna ignore and just say he's plain evil because the Creature must be plain good and they feel smart if they say the typical "Small brain: Frankenstein was the monster vs Big brain: Frankenstein was the scientist, not the monster vs Galaxy brain: Frankenstein was the monster all along" and they completely skip out on all the depth this character has

I went super aurface level in a lot of parts here, but I hope it's somewhat understandable

I recommend reading the novel though! It's Good

[russeliarat]

Maybe I'm getting a bit emotional but it's like 10pm and I can't sleep and I've been having thoughts about grief and I wanna talk about it.

If you didn't know, my nana died about 2 weeks ago from brain cancer-influenced seizure and I was hit surprisingly hard. With my neurodivergencies, I never really felt grief very much through my life and if I did, it was very childlike I suppose. I'd silently sit for an hour and think, then I'd be over it. No tears, no lash-outs, nothing like that. I honestly grieved lost friendships more than I've grieved actual deaths to be honest.

So now that my nana has died, I've been weirdly emotional. I've been taking so much time off college and not attending classes I know will make me too emotional. I've been getting really badly ill (there's already a flu bug going around but I got hit really really bad compared to everyone else). I've been lashing out and being angry and I've even taken it out on my lovely boyfriend for the first time ever (he was so so kind and sweet and understood why and helped me through it, funnily enough the anger did come from me literally fearing he'd died suddenly in his sleep while I was on call to him).

I think the worst part about it all is that my anxieties are coming back badly big time now. I had therapy a few years ago for my anxiety because it was very severe and me and my therapist targeted some very bad triggers and points for the anxiety - and they did go away and have never popped up again in about 2 years now. Suddenly, I'm now sitting up awake at night, fearfully leaping out my own skin from shock of the incomprehensible feelings I experience from thinking about death, only to immediately forget it all moments later due to how effective dissociative disorders are at doing so. Now, I momentarily panic at the sound of train tracks rattling in the distance because of cargo trains and the fact it sounds like air raid sirens to my exhausted brain. I've started seeing faces when I close my eyes again and they aren't pleasant ones, and my imagination loves the idea of them being seen for real in the outside world.

I kinda thought I'd be over it all by now to be honest. I go real long stretches forgetting about it all, then suddenly my boyfriend falls asleep on call and I can't wake him up coz his headphones fell out (and I don't know) and I'm sobbing to him about please wake up, I don't want to lose you too. Suddenly, I tear up when my boss's mother who helps out at work (bless her soul she's so caring and wise, I'll miss her when I go to university) gives me advice every Wednesday and takes time to ask how I'm doing. Suddenly, I can't watch my favourite comfort childhood movies because a family member of the main character passes away.

And it's strange how it's like I'm back where I was 2 years ago, using the exact same hyperfixation to cope with a completely different process of grieving, despite having 3 different ones in between. It just comes back to this. S'pose I'll always be the same, I'm just more mature now and much more self-aware.

I've been so bitter lately that it makes me angry all over again. I used to be such a spiteful, hateful little prick of a child and then it got better. Then my nan died and now I'm back to being sporadically angry again, though this time not even I know what'll make me fly off the handle. I'll just start ranting and raving again - whether to myself, my headmates, or anyone in the outerworld that'll hear me out. I've become really cold and distant again too. I don't talk to people, even my friends, much and I look so visibly stressed out that people that don't know what's happened are genuinely concerned and asking if I'm okay.

I'm not sure how I'll fair when the funeral finally chugs along. I'll probably either sob my eyes out and insist on leaving as soon as possible, or sit there not really knowing what to do with myself. To make it worse, the main caretaker (and sister) of my nana was going against what she wanted and claimed stuff that wasn't hers to claim, so I don't think I could stand being in the same room as her. I can barely look at her facebook posts without becoming angry and bitter that she's getting so much love and well wishes despite what she did to my nana.

I'm a mess but I never really thought I would be. Don't really know when it'll stop to be honest, I feel like it should be over by now.

[sketching-shark]

Ngl sometimes i feel bad abt disliking LMK so much because some of my friends like it alot and one of them hyperfixates on it. But then i remember just how badly it fucked up in depicting Sun Wukong's character that im pretty sure even villainous portrayals of him in media have given him more dignity, how Six ears basically got woobified and Karma Houdinied despite the show itself showing him as a pretty fucked up villain in S1, how much the Eng Dub butchered the hell out of the Bull Demon Family's dynamic and that this show basically removed one of the core aspects of the story (Buddhism) and then i suddenly dont feel that bad anymore.

Plus its not like they know my actual opinions abt it. As long as they dont ask i think im good lol

Monkie Kid spoilers & complaining & likely exaggerating things below so avert thine eyes if you don't want to see all that

gterewfs not to add even more to the apparently intolerable trend of bringing up Xiyouji when talking about Monkie Kid but it is kind of funny how I've now seen multiple people say a lot of their dislike of the lego show comes from knowing how Sun Wukong can be depicted when he's not being written as a cringefail hermit (X_X). And as is @seasonalsummers if pressed you can probably just tell your friends that Monkie Kid just isn't your thing & leave it at that. Because yeah I've spoken before how it's not fair to expect people to make their way through the ~1,400 pages of the best English translation of the og classic in developing their sense of the journey and Sun Wukong's whole deal, and the vast diversity of depictions of the Monkey King in retellings does seem to stand testament to how much this monkey can be changed to suit the needs of a story. And as is the existence of Zaju Xiyou Ji does demonstrate how even in China this monkey's had bouts of being depicted as little more than a selfish clown, so maybe this is just the west's version of that lol.

THAT SAID, aaaaaAAAAAAA yeah genuinely is baffling and frustrating watching many people cheer and clap for what feels like the constant traumatization of Qi Xiaotian and the constant use of Sun Wukong as Monkie Kid's punching bag. Like heavens to betsy Flying Bark has so relentlessly focused on how thoroughly SWK screws up everything in both the past and the present and apparently, on his own admission, spent the entirely of his immortality doing little except making one mistake after another (i.e. routinely fucking up his life and the lives of everyone around him) that one really is left wondering why any of the show's cast would want to be even within 50 miles distance of this monkey, which is definitely something made all the more awesome by the sense that maybe the main reason is because the obvious villains of every season are explicitly trying to take over/ blow up the entire world rather than blundering their way into that position :(. And that's a dynamic definitely made even MORE awesome by everyone's favorite poor little meow meow never did anything wrong ever the Six-Eared Macaque spending the majority of his screen time both beating the tar out of Qi Xiaotian and telling anyone who will listen what a dumb bitch Sun Wukong is before the show then bends over backwards to validate his claims all while making sure he's never even slightly called out for the shit he pulls, with the clear favoritism made all the more clearer by such facts as Sun Wukong got screamed at by Long Xiaojiao in an extensive and dramatic scene for putting basically the monkie gang and the entirety of reality in danger through his doofus decisions and yet even though she literally watched the shadow simian beat Qi Xiaotian into unconsciousness and literally had her life seriously threatened by this same monkey until Tang Shifu started oh yeah the Fire of Samadhi ritual she's apparently perfectly fine with working with Mr. Six not long after. Add on top of that the way it now feels like SWK's not even really allowed to be friends with anyone except Macaque or even to interact with any of his other former besties in any meaningful way, and well this is really making for a not fun situation that keeps steering the plot away from some of the most interesting fun and heartfelt things that Monkie Kid could have done. And then on top of that Flying Bark has now shown themselves to have this habit of spending the majority of each season focusing on what a screw-up SWK is before waiting until the last possible episode before characters who up to that point couldn't have made their hatred for the Monkey King and Qi Xiaotian by extension more clear start pulling out abrupt and honestly hand-wavey reasons for why they suddenly like him. IDK! I like a good redemption arc but that's not something you can speedrun and then pretend like it's even remotely satisfying! And definitely doesn't do SWK any favors with the way he just stands there maybe looking kind of sad while someone yells at him for sucking entire before he runs off to suck at everything again and is barely ever allowed to be explicitly and messily upset about that or about what a colossal failure his life is or idk mayhaps what happened to the og pilgrims that apparently resulted in their premature deaths!! For as much as people keep saying they want characters to redeem themselves through living and working to be better and be upset and fucked up about their pasts well it sure might be nice in this situation if we actually got to spend some time on that instead of just relentlessly piling one catastrophic blunder on top of the other! tsetawraer sorry for the rant but yeah still pretty shocked on how much a silly lego show that started off as having fun adventures with the Monkey King would turn into the grimdark adventures of Young Man Traumatized, Asshole Goku, and the Stalker Shadow (X_X)

[blackwell-academys-airdrop]

Hello. I just want to say that you’re probably one of my favourite LIS accounts here. You’re very funny. Love your work. Stay Hella. Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

... You have no idea how much this means to me.

Like seriously. I started this blog in mid-2019 cuz I wanted somewhere to put my doofy LIS incorrect quotes that wasn't my main cuz I didn't wanna clog it up too much. (Which is a bad way to think about your main, but I digress.) I did not expect to get like a thousand followers over the course of a year. And now 2 thousand, even though I've been posting very sporadically over the past couple years now.

I love Life Is Strange. I love it with my whole heart. And I know it's going to break my heart, which is probably why I haven't actually played BTS yet, and why it took me three years to replay the first game. So I guess I try not to think about it. And that's probably why I don't post as much here as I used to or as I'd like to. I still love this fandom, but I haven't hyperfixated on LIS in a goodly while.

I've got projects that I've promised you guys, and some I haven't, and I want to follow through and complete them or at least post what I have of them. WAIT HOLD ON I DID HOST THE THING ON THE PLACE I've gotta find that old post hold on. But before that I'm gonna finish my thoughts here.

I'm working on a lot of things simultaneously, and right now I'm working on a really big non-LIS project that I want to start posting in a couple months. So yeah. Take my excuses as you will. But I promise, I promise with my whole heart, that I will not leave these projects unfulfilled.

...Anyway I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make this about me. I'm just so grateful for you, and for your kindness (I've seen you in my notes a fair bit and I love seeing your own posts ^w^), and for the rest of you who leave tags or comments or reblogs or asks or likes or what have you. Even if you just browse without saying or doing anything. Thank you so much.

I wish I had more to show for those of you who've cared enough to stay.

Still.

Thank you.

Stay hella.

[chuuyascumsock]

hi pookie <33 sorry its been yearsss, lifes been a bit of bitch but im just going to be bitchier 😎

how are you doing? and also i love that you re-watched my little pony, that show RAISED me, I CRIED over Princess Celestia and Luna's reunion and the hundreds of other arcs that it had

I HATE THE NEW ONE ITS SO SODUHVODSHUCO 😔☹️

The old MLP is in my heart forever ❤️ (can you tell i was a horse girl 💀)

BUT OMG THAT BLANKET YOU MADE W LIZZY IS SO CUTE????? its so sweet 🥰🥰

i miss you and tumblr moots :(

and ive been TRYING to deal w my writing burnout 'cause i have an idea for a fic that ive been trying to write but words just aren't wording !!!!

and not to mention its been so unbearably hot where i live its actually horrific, i cant sleep at all because of the heat T-T

but on a lighter note ive been hanging out w some of my friends after we all got back from our respective trips and we're planning a little roadtrip later this month !!!!

and

i got snorb a sibling

this is my second baby 😋 im a proud dino mother here !!!

(this is a cry for help)

stay sexy 😘😘❤️💐

Hiiiii Pookie, I’m glad you sent an ask, I was getting worried about you snookums 🥺

I started watching MLP when I was like 10 because my baby brothers wanted to watch it and I liked it but after that I hadn’t seen it in years so I thought I’d get back into it. I was especially into the mlp creepypasta stuff (it was like the first official fandom I got into when I was 8 and it lasted until I was like 14 and I got a new hyperfixation which was Assassination Classroom, let me tell you— being in the Fnaf, Minecraft, Undertale, and Eddsworld fandoms in that time frame as well was wild. The fanfics and crossovers were embarrassing, y’all.)

Also, horse girl? I had to be one in middle and high school cause my mom made me take riding lessons and at least one competition lol. While I didn’t like it because I nearly broke my hip doing so, I’m still salty they sold the horse I mainly rode for two years and the new owner was a bitch and wouldn’t even let me walk past his stall because she was so possessive. Genuinely was only there to make friends with the horses, I still miss you, Cinnabar :[

And yessss, I love the blanket I made with Libby cause it’s so soft and warm which is great cause my hands and feet are naturally cold like a corpse.

I also get the burnout, I wanna write so bad and I have so many ideas but I just can’t write. I want to finish my second Chuuya hurt/comfort fic and Dazai hurt/comfort fic cause they’re almost done (my Chuuya one is 4k+ words long and the Dazai one is being a bitch and deleted half of my progress). But it’s okay because I named them appropriately so look out for fics called “I said break it down, not have a break down” and “This homeless man won’t leave so I’m spraying him down with dirty brown water” (I think you can guess which is which). So yeah :]

THE HEAT IS KILLING ME HERE TOO, IT’S SO FUCKING HOT AND HUMID AND MY GLASSES GET ALL FOGGY WHEN I LEAVE MY HOUSE FOR WORK I HATE IT 😭

Hurray for hanging out with friends!! I watched the new Deadpool and Wolverine movie with my friends this passing week and my god, Hugh Jackman is the straightest man crush I’ve ever had, he is so fine. I rarely like irl men in general (only do so with celebrities bc irl girls is where it’s at, dating boys is gross) so when I do, yk he’s got IT. God, I’d shred cheese on those abs of his.

And you got Snorb a sibling‼️ Name ‘em Sneeb, Sneeb and Snorb <3

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

I vibe with hyperfixating w/ characters. To varying degrees I’ve fixated on: Armin from AOT for a while, 1D had a DEATH GRIP on me for a few years, (SEVEAL book characters through my teen years)I had an Alucard from castlevania fixation for maybe 3 ish years (‘ending’ only recently) and now Hobes lives in my head rent free ngl.

I get the “being sad cuz you can’t meet them” part, I’ve felt it. I try to not daydream TOO much cuz otherwise it takes over my life and I’m doing a considerable effort to live OUT of my own head, but BOI do I LOVE just daydreaming about my blorbos of choice.

I don’t speak too much about it (mostly the daydreaming) cuz to an extent it feels like a “me thing” (like something I don’t wanna share with anyone cuz it’s special to me), but if given the chance I DO info dump on my fixations.

I don’t think it’s cringe, not at all. These things are stuff that helps us process the world and our experiences with it. I believe everyone has sensitive weird shit that they don’t talk about, but if there’s something Ive learned is that we hardly ever have completely unique experiences. Most people just hide their oddness. Fandom being a prime example of how much our blorbos can mean to us. I think it’s okay and normal. (Until it goes overboard and people send idk violent messages to others because they headcanon something differently idk, the unreasonable stuff imo)

Can’t believe our of everything people would dare to make JOY and INTEREST the things with negative connotations. Being mean should be cringe, being a bully should be embarrassing. But unashamedly enjoying stuff?? That’s wonderful.

Anyone too embarrassed of their own vulnerability that they deal with it by making others feel bad about their interests are the most immature out if all of us.

Joy is everything that’s good with the world.

Even just seeing the letter 1D makes me wanna scream (in a good way!!) cause it takes me back to high school lol 1D was a bit older than me so my grade had Mindless Behaviour (does anyone remember them, where they even popular) but I remember the days where 1D was like the definition of summer songs

And I can totally understand the 'me thing'. Like I never really spoke about it but I felt like I knew my daydreams were more substantial or vivid than the 'average person' so to say.

Or when I spoke about characters to other people, I understood that neurotypicals likes characters, but they often didn't see them as fully formed 'persons' in the way I do - as to say, they didn't speculate or see emotional backstory, connections, or their behavior the way I did.

I never really shared any of my daydreams because like - I can't even get into it that's like asking someone to explain Star Wars to someone who doesn't even know space travel exists.

I grew up in a time on the internet where self-inserts and OC were seen as cringe, and someone would be very quick to call out 'Mary-Sue's (or flawless OCs) whenever they could.

It's not like that now - but in juxtaposition to canon x canon shipping, that bias is still there I feel like. Like it, as a work of fandom art has less 'value' that art or fics of canon only characters

It kinda bums me out still.

I think OC and daydreams and self-indulgent inserts are all the best part of fandom because it's the purest way of fans connecting with content on a personal level.

I'm happy that I see more people pushing back on that lately. Like after years of seeing people viciously hate furries when most of them seem like very nice, fun people, it's refreshing for people to be like 'nah, actually this thing is cool. and im gonna spend of time and/or money on this thing cause i makes me happy;

like you remember when the new Star Wars movie trailers came out and that dude reacted to it and he was moved to tears and people made fun of him??

yeah fuck everyone else that dude knows whats up.

Like yes, openly cry to your faves. Fantasize deep meaningful daydreams that help you process your feelings. Draw your OC with them, or learn every single thing their is to know about them.

That's why I wanted to talk about this. Because I've never heard it spoken about before. Maladaptive daydreaming, yes - and that can be harmful. But I hardly ever hear people talk about the basic mundane experience of it - or even how it can enrich our lives and help us emotionally develop of neurodivergent people.

When I think of it that way, it's something that makes me happy. I don't think I'll ever be able to describe it fully, and that's the point. Our stories are private to us, not because theyre embarrassing, but because they're so us that to even describe it would like describing a new world top to bottom

I love it. It's what makes humans humans.

[andro-dino]

Axel, you have no idea how much it means to me to find another beyblade fan who also adores Trolls. Your art has given me so much life your style makes the characters shine and your humanized designs are PERFECTION! I love it! AND OMG FINALLY SOMEONE WHO BRINGS UP FLOYD'S EARS! I swear people haven't noticed that they are as turned down as Branch's and that's wasted potential! I wanna know why the pink emo was grey for such a long time!

Cloudy my brother in arms!! I’m going crazy I need more people to talk about trolls to this hyperfixation is going to kill me I swear.

Also waaaa tysm 🥹 you have no idea how much that means to me <333

AND YEAH. THE POSSIBILITIES OF GRAY FLOYD. AUGH.

One of the potential ideas I’ve thought of with that is that at some point while he was solo, he ended up being overcome with this sudden sadness over the fact that he hadn’t seen any of his brothers in years, especially feeling bad wondering about how branch was doing. I think the more he dwelled on it, the worse it made him feel, causing him to go gray for a while. I think he only regained his color when he caught news of the rockpocalypse and heard about how branch helped stop it, making him more hopeful and relieved that branch was doing alright.

There’s a lot of different ways you could take it though I think. I’ve seen other people bring up the idea of him going grey while being imprisoned by Velvet and Veneer, which is definitely also very possible. Idk I think it’s neat to think about all the different ways it could’ve happened