#i have not finished the game. (tho i have gotten all the memories & stuff.)

[nyxire]

wait wait i just thought about this a while ago but just remembered again, but how the fuck does Zelda have Rauru & Sonias powers of light and time?? No children were at any point shown, talked of or even referenced? sonia dies ! and so does rauru not too long after! so its not like its a case of ‘oh well they can still hv children later’ how does the royal lineage work??? how does Zelda have these powers? its heavily implied that the sage powers are passed down through blood/lineage so where are her powers coming from ????

[lucknight]

i know bioware is not going at all in this direction (i havent finished veilguard tho so i might be wrong) but… i really think rook should be a complete foil to solas. i hate this trend of putting another character in a rpg’s protag head (we have waaaay too many of those) but in this case i would accept if…

there was a twist where the memories we see from sola’s arent from him at all. they are actually from rook. and they themselves are a kind of new god/evanuris whatever. they were sola’s second in command, and now the same thing is happening again.

it would tie in with how every background we have rebellion as a common denominator, rook was the creativity that led to the veil. they were the ones that had the ideia. reckless enough to doom the world!

this might be too much power fantasy but i dont care this game sets up some interesting things but rook so far is just a dry wall. the dialogue is very meh, i know they cant deliver a disco elysium, nor was dialogue ever bioware’s strong suit but even if i think complaints about wokeness are very much displaced i do feel people can tell when dialogue is bland. the banters are better but the options you select as rook are very much bad. purple isn’t good most of the time which is just another nail in the coffin.

why did they ‘create’ factions? and no i did not read tevinter nights nor do i want to. i shouldnt have to. why do ‘veil jumpers’ exist when you could just have called them a group of dalish? this is the type of stuff that comes across fake and very corporate, star wars outlaws maybe could have gotten away with it since it was already in canon but here its just jarring.

is it that hard to just make playable origins again? like actual honest to god play the origin ourselves, one of the most beloved aspect from… origins? is that truly such a hit in the budget? planning?

do all the games have to one up the saving the world bit? cant we have a protag that is just a slave in tevinter trying to survive? to see a continuation of the mage/templar conflict in the south? an origin as a circle mage where you are in power almost a mirror to origins to show how the dream of the opressed is to become the opressor?

even then, sure. tresspasser. whole game should have been about that and not us dropped in what should have been the game’s climax, creating two deux ex machina villains. but i like that so whatever. i dig it. i like solas as a character.

and. sure game show me the letter of dorian fighting to free slaves while i walk about minrathos and everything seems fine! no questline where we see slavers, or kill them, or do anything. its just… wild.

much to think about. i’m happy for the new dragon age just wish i could enjoy it more.

[cerealmonster15]

im letting sims mostly run in the bg as i do other things and peek back in now and then

chenya!!!!! he maxed mischief i think almost completely on his own bc i mostly left his sim up to his own devices lol

ive also let deuce hatch threeeee chicks in his coop. i kept getting the notif that the chickens and rooster were getting old but they havent died.. im not sure if it's bc i have aging turned off for regular sims so maybe the same goes for animals but they just stay old forever? or maybe it just takes a while and you get notified a lot lol. i remember selling epels cow bc i thought it was gonna die but maybe i was bamboozled.

chenya wants to start beef with some random npc and i do think his mischief related aspiration goal thing needs him to be disliked so i mean go nuts pal

riddle also got level 9 gaming skill lol everyone loves to autonomously use that gamer mat, and since i play heartslabyul house the most often they have the highest skills... you know who i havent played in a while tho? fish dorm. ill check them after i see if i can get trey that last promotion-

...he heard me.

he let himself in and started fixing the sink lol

i had cater practicing his spells and now SILVER HIS BOYFRIEND has called to challenge him to a duel. ive been rejecting the duels lately bc i get them when ive got sims in the middle of something but sure why not!!!

rip...

aughhh trey please yorue so CLOSEEEEEEEE next time for sure...

YAAAAY!!!!!!

...cater is so close to his too tho. fish can wait a little longer...

riddle is listening to him practice :)

YES maybe he can play jazz tunes in the mostro lounge... i s2g if i get the dine out or whatever expansion it's all over for u bitches... actually what if i remade all my twst sims again but in sims 3. i could have azul slowly purchase all the businesses in the land. true tycoon fdsjfklsdj

why does this feel like a threat kfdsfklh "hey lilia and i are FRIENDS so goof fucking LUCK trying to thwart my deal with bananaclaw now bitch"

^ this was all from earlier in the week lol i forgot to come back to it!!! but cater should have his promotion when he goes into work today. also the reaper rewards week 2 started i guess!!

so while i waited for cater to go to work i summoned the reaper again, and we gotta be friends with him, which is kinda hard bc my sims all keep developing a fear of death lol. i did swap this household to have the scare enjoyers trait on this lot or something bc JUICE IS SCARED CONSTANTLY but that makes the others get bored sometimes lol. so caters scared but hes also excited about it. i hope he doesnt fucking die or whatever lol

ok well it worked and then cater i guess got over it. he went to go talk to trey and fucking SPRINTED through the house to get to him lol it was kinda cute 😭 trey has i guess just been standing there making drink after drink after drink lol

FSJFDSFKLJ OK I GOT A SHOT OF HIM RUNNING hes going to work now and bc hes so energized i guess hes got this manic sprint going lol.

this grim reaper quest is like "ooo you need to be leveling stuff like gardening and cooking :)" as if trey and riddle havent already got that covered!!! fishing is another story lol i really need to check FLOYD but while im waiting for cater i may as well knock these out

keith invited ortho over and ortho went to go hang at treys bar lol

CAY GOT HIS PROMOTION!!

and trey learned to confuse people with magic lol. OKAY TIME TO SEE WHAT OCTAVINELLE IS DOING!!!

i sent floyd to fish and like. he has cowplant berries. i have NO memory of how he couldve gotten those. anyway that finished up the grim reaper quests this week!!! i kept seeing people on youtube pop up in thumbnails being like IT'S HARD??? but like. not with my twst boys who have stacked skills lol i have been breezing through them so far...

oh yea lemme check the relationships-

oh my god. jade and malleus went from disliked or w/e to mega haters. i dont see much different with anyone else kfhsg

i forgot floyds life aspiration stuff was related to being a spellcaster so thats why he was the only one that was already magic when i went to turn everyone else lol

azul got a huge W at work??? one of those pop up choices to invest or not in a startup and i got 50k for doing it... godspeed you business master i guess - OH HES ALREADY LEVEL 10 AT HIS JOB i didnt even realize lol... i mustve pushed it a while ago lol and jades level 9 mixologist ... good for them

okay my question on if jaderook happened bc i did it or if the game did it was answered - it mutstve been the game bc i had to make them introduce themselves despite already being in a relationship lol

also even tho i have relationship decay off it still feels like it does lol the romance i had for trey and jade seems to have shrunk and also hes stuck at acquaintances despite such a big friendship bar. thats an issue ive had pop up quite a few times in sims 4 tbh 😑 floyd and trey have also seemed to decay in the romance bar they auto started lol. but i guess maybe thats from story progression also idk!!

trey called and asked to come over so now theyre having a little polycule party while i sent floyd off to go fish more and azuls at work

HANG ON i had azul invite jamil over so they could play chess bc azul was stressed after work and like. DID I NOT ALREADY HAVE THEM DO THAT?? i guess not. i just had them at max romance soulmate level and i never had them make it official LOL wow. and azul did that on his own just now like i didnt click on it. i invited jamil over and made them hug, jamil auto rubbed azuls shoulders, and azul turned around and was like WILL YOU BE MY BOYFRIEND lol

lilia showed up while floyd was fishing so i made them hang the fuck out!! chaos bffs RIGHT NOW!!!

i had jamil stay the night and cook w/azul... in sims azul can fulfill his dream of getting jamil in his kitchen and to willingly hang out with him LOL... floyd JADE is lurking in the back to come cause problems i think tho, hes headed straight for jamil while theyre trying to coo- HANG ON

WHAT THE FUCK LSDOFHGKLJFKLSJ he just walked right through them into the counter hdlfkjsj HEY GUYS STOP COOKING WHATS UP HIIII even at the top it says awkward encounter... fkhsdlfhs he fucking broke the laws of physics to crash their DATE!!

okayyy like he left the counter but hes standing directly between them just going on his phone , jamil and azul are just 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️ waiting for him to leave LOL

i saw malleus outside doing pushups and since jade hates his ass i had him run over and commit the greatest sin possible with malleus and give him a FALSE INVITATION!!!

also ace showed up uninvited, and neither of the tweels had met him yet so i had them do that - floyd immediately annoyed him LOL. then he just kinda walked inside and started using their computer, as sims tend to do . i had floyd bother him more and that hiad mixed success, so theyre not off to a great start

anyway im sleepy and also hit image limit anyway so i guess thats the end of this update klhsdklfhs maybe ill revisit diasomnia next time, i wanna give someone the goth jeans i unlocked from the grim reaper rewards. and the earrings? idr if i remembered to give them those either.

[palialaina]

See, when I say I'll side with Zeki over Subira, it's because Zeki is... under all his guff and snark, a puffball.

So, apparently there was a bit of chaos at the market after I left last time, resulting in some wishes being knocked off the tree. Chayne asked me to ask around because he has his post next to the tree and can't wander, so I did, and man.

No lies, I cracked up when Naj told me what she saw, and again when Zeki confirmed it. I wish I could've seen that. Like. Kenli, of all people, scaring the shit out of Zeki? Zeki jumping like... ten feet into the air???

Glorious, man. And I missed it.

(Zeki was not amused at my amusement, but no claws came out, so, I win.)

Zeki was pretty put out about the whole thing coming to light, and still a bit fussed about the wishes thing, but he said I could tell Chayne, so I did. Chayne was better about not laughing than I was, honestly.

Went off and did some stuff at home, napped like a sensible person, and then went back the next night, cause Zeki asked me to meet him there so we could talk about some stuff. He actually opened up quite a bit about how he missed his family, even his obnoxious siblings (can't relate, though I do still have that ache when I wonder what my life was before all... this.), and remenisced a bit about how his Dad had taken them to his first Luna New Year market, and gotten them all candy.

And how he wished, as a kitten, to come to another one with his family.

Well, I might be a smart-ass on occasion, but I can't let that go, so I went over to Chayne and asked him if he had some candy we could give to Zeki to make him feel less alone. Chayne then suggested I get people to write nice notes to Zeki too, to remind him that he's part of the village, Majiri or not.

When I tell you he cried, man. He didn't let me hug him or anything, but he did get all teary-eyed and sentimental. It was pretty sweet that he realized that maybe he didn't have blood-kin around, but the villagers regard him as one of their own.

And honestly, that's really what I love about Kilima, and the people here. They did that for Zeki, for me, and for every human that appears from the Phoenix Shrine, whether they stay in Kilima or go somewhere else.

I still have some stuff at the market I want to get, and I think I've gotten the hang of that hotpot game too. So I'll keep going for a few more nights, and see if there's anything else I can do around there to help out. I wish Hassian would come, but there's still chappa for the chappa chase, so that's probably a hard no. Was nice to see Sifuu there, and Dad too. Apparently Subira said she'd watch the inn for him so he could come and celebrate, which was nice. She's not all that bad, but I don't know that I'll ever trust her, or the Order.

In less dramatic news, all my bay windows have been finished, and I love them.

I had to rearrange my room a bit tho, and I'm still not entirely settled on how it looks. I need more cushions to sit on too. And blankets. Bet I could ask Hassian and he'd get me some nice ones. Or Jel. Hmm...

Oh, and Chayne gave me this big box of Luna New Year sweets. There's no way I'm going to finish this off any time soon! Mine didn't come with sweet notes the way Zeki's did, but you know what? It's gonna be a good memory just the same.

[cq-studios]

I’d love to hear your thoughts on Ephemer!

First Impression

Honestly, I’m not too sure. I think I was pretty indifferent to him at first, mostly because I hadn’t actually played the game/experienced the cutscenes. I watched Tennelle and Whitney’s recap of it so I was just hearing about what he did, not necessarily about him.

But I guess since he kept ditching people (Player, Skuld, Player again, but this time in Wreck it Ralph), I figured he was kind of a flake. I found that amusing more than anything tho.

Current Impression

He.

I’m a massive fan of all the NULs, but Ephemer is in the top spot very often (and Skuld is normally right there with him but she’s not who we’re talking about right now). I probably should have more to say but like I dunno

Favourite Moment

Ooh this one is tough.

I’m tempted to say when he comforts Skuld about, you know, how the is literally ending by saying “It’s not over til it’s over”, because it is simultaneously the most human and unhelpful thing to say, and it makes me laugh every time.

But there’s also the scene where he first meets Player, which I also think is fun.

Idea for a Story

I’ve had a little AU idea for awhile where, after Union X, Ephemer figures out that he’s never gonna see his friends again and uses the Unchained State to switch worldlines to one where the glitches hadn’t started yet.

He’d have memory loss with a subconscious feeling that something isn’t right, a la Sleeping Realm Theory. So like, he starts noticing that details of past events are different than what everyone else remembers, he’s much clingier than usual and doesn’t seem to know why, or he sees Player and breaks down out of a guilt he can’t remember ever having.

Skuld notices something is off pretty quickly, and Ephemer feels the same. So they, with the help of Brain (who they also roped into this), try to work out what’s going on. Eventually they’d figure it out, and Ephemer would go back to his original worldline.

I’m not entirely sure what would push him to go back. Maybe reading his Book of Prophecies and learning that Brain wouldn’t have a world to appear in if he didn’t. Or learning that he can move on (about Scala and his kids and stuff), once again with the help of the BoP. Or maybe the glitches start again, and the world ends again, and he realizes that there’s nothing he can do to change what he went through. He just has to accept it. Or you know, some combination of those.

I started writing this a bit ago but haven’t gotten very far. Don’t know if I’ll ever finish it but I’m still working on it on and off.

Unpopular Opinion

Uhh, I’m not entirely sure to be honest…

Like I don’t think I have one??? But I’m also not even quite sure what would be considered a popular opinion about him???

Favourite Relationship

Him and Skuld.

I love their friendship. I love that Kingdom Hearts lets a guy and a girl just be friends, and close one’s at that.

I feel like they have a very teasing friendship (definitely a believer of the prank wars dynamic for them), but like, if push comes to shove, they will stick together through the actual end of the world. I find so much comfort in that, even if in the end they get separated.

Favourite Headcannon

Dude’s a massive conspiracy theorist, and I like that for him. Especially because he ends up in a position of power and, due to the all but normal circumstances, I’m sure that suddenly the conspiracies that he would’ve believed were about him and his friends.

I live for this concept but have no clue how to apply it in a practical way.

[justalesbianinherlittlegayworld]

So some bad Silent hill takes have been rotating in my mind recently so as someone who played through all the main series silent hill games back to back recently heres my rankings

2

Downpour

Objectively silent hill 3 Personally silent hill 1

homecoming

origins

4 the room

personally silent hill 3 I actively didn't want to finish this game.

reasons under the cut

The best silent hill games have an good character story what made silent hill 2 good is the CHARACTERS STORY and The worst part of silent hill is the fact they keep shoving the order in good character driven stories and stealing the spotlight

downpour is a story about a father coming to terms with the fact his 7 year old child's murderer has been punished and all hes doing is putting blood on his own hands the stuff with the police woman tho i agree is quite stupid. also the boogeyman is the closest they have gotten to the high of sh2 pyramid head fight me

silent hill ones story is just good and is the only time the order should have been used.

Homecoming is Alex coming to a realization that although he has already been punished for what happened IE the mental hospital they people who brought him to that breaking point need to be as well. Pyramid head's use in that game is to show that Alex doesn't need to be punished anymore but others do this is a good use of Pyramid head suck it up. the main issue with the games story is the last bit after his dad is punished is the whole order thing is soo boring and takes away from the actual good story.

Origins is a story about a man coming to terms with the fact that what happened to his parents is not his fault the butcher is what he thinks he is. and they shove the order into to force him to deal with the Alessa bs if you play one you fight his dad shut off the game and skip all of the order cut scenes.

4 is what it says on the tin tbh not bad just boring didn't get me mad at it tho so.

3 i just was so annoyed by its the one i got the most mad at. but its story of a girl realizing that if the world wont give her closure than she has to get it her self its a good story. it just didn't need to be a sequel to 1 plus the ending of 3 really pisses me off because i see Harry's journal as him realizing that Cheryl and heather are different people and that he cant blame heather for what happened to Cheryl and the ending her deciding she is Cheryl just really urks me as someone with a dead little sibling. it feels like if I chose his name when i came out as nonbinary. like i would get shot by my parents for it. anyway i agree its good i just personally don't like the game.

i haven't played shattered memories because of the guy yelling the q slur at his soon and in this instance he's very much is using it as a slur the quote is "my son is one of them queers" over his son not wanting to kill an animal so very much being used as a slur

[dewprisms]

Thinking about the past and year n stuff before i go to bed (i never cared for staying up)

gonna put this under a readmore bc it came out more negative than i was expecting...

thinking back to the past year, we got the kittens fixed, i got more hours at work, got to see some siblings again, got to see my other nephew again, got rly lucky with pulls in Po Ma E X throughout the year...

idk what else was good though. didnt do any drawing practice, didnt work on my fic, didnt finish work on the character doc, started on the ruesid ref but didnt finish, stuff in the house keeps breaking, havent seen a doctor yet (its been like a decade), havent seen a therapist yet, the only new game i played was totk and pkmn sleep even tho i bought some more, actually barely played much games at all this year, failed to practice good hygiene habits, failed to lose weight, i actually gained even more than when i lost it 3 years ago and i still didnt get skinny at all back then, and actually i think my health has gotten worse because im even MORE tired than before all the time and my feet hurt a lot too, wasted money on a gym membership cause after august i stopped having the energy after work to go, and with it being cold out with no car idk how ill do it in the slow months (aka jan and feb), failed to talk to ppl more, failed to do anything good with the group chat because my memory is so shit that i just forget, my acne seems to have gotten worse, i keep falling behind bad at work (and it doesnt help that we cant keep ppl for more than a week but thats the company's fault but it still falls on the rest of us to pick up the slack), keep feeling like a burden at work and unintentionally getting on ppls nerves, plus the state of the world has also gotten more shit, and it doesnt look like itll be improving any time soon...

idk it just hasnt been that good and idk what to look forward to anymore. not even xbgr in k h 4. im so fucking lonely and i feel both my physical health and mental health deteriorating and theres nothing i can really do except watch it happen from behind these eyes that constantly question if reality is really real or not. ive been wanting to cry for the past like 5 months and i dont know what the fuck to do anymore, i dont have the energy for shit

🎉🎉wooooo!! 🎉🎉🥳🥳🎈

[mothlegs]

i am tired and cozy and in a good mood so i will talk about how i got all my books :)

tired cozy also gives me a bit of bravery so i am hugging all my mutuals. especially two specific ones because i see you doing badly but i am too shy to approach you directly so i hope you see this and magically know i am giving you the most caring hugs and i hope things are better soon

anyways books:) or well bookcase, not all reading books. im looking from my bed so i cant see all of them But

Sketch Books x2 (+1 smol ver)

i dont know how i got thes3 actually. maybe from tiger? i miss when tiger was t. uh. how do you spell that. tier..? ti'er?? idunno. the old name. i think these are all filled up, i think i got the first one when i was 10 :]

ANATOMY

This is a book full of naked people that i guess i accidentally stole. oops. i borrowed it from a now ex family friend who is insanely good at art, when i was like 12 or 13, and then it ended up on my floor and i ended up telling people he was kinda Weird(bad) about me (regret! made everything bad despite being true) so now we dont talk to him anymore so he cant get the book back. bah

Uhh a connect the dots magazine(?) my grandma gave me. dunnno when. i dont think ive touched it since :( sad cause i love connecting dots

I Am Looking From My Bed So Can't See What These Are x2 + Some loose papers

Fancy journal/sketch book/idk my mom bought for me in the big city :)!!

Undertale art book <333

I got it as a very late christmas present when i was 11 or 12 years old as well as some other undertale stuff and i literally started crying

I think this ones a diary i never really used that my mom got me and my grandma years ago. oop

Dear Evan Hansen !!!

i love this book. it is better than the musical. i love miguel and they had a perfect opportunity to put him in the movie but they didnt so i hope the movie goes to the movie version of hell

i got it when i was 14 i think? the week before it came i was actively suicidal in a "i feel a burning need inside me that is screaming at me to die" and that book might just be the only reason i didnt attempt then

Salmon Coloured Book From Tiger. cant see anything else about it and i have no memory of it

Skammeren's Datter

i think my grandma found this being given away for free at the library? one of my favourite books as a child my mom used to read it to me before bed when i was 11:)

Fængslende Tanker

book about intrusive thoughts my mom borrowed me at some point within the last 2 or 3 years

Tidsfangen

also my moms it is fiction i remember nothing about it oop

The Song of Achilles

i saw it on tumblr and liked it so got it as a gift at some point. i dont remember when, i still havent read it :(

Books my grandma got from a library giving them away x6

i havent read any of these:( also dont remember when i got them

Skammeren's Datter 1-2 & 3-4

the full series im p sure!! wanna reread themm

MAUS

i got it for my last birthday!! i havent gotten very far in reading but it is very good and i am learning and developing curiousities

The Unofficial Ghibli Cookbook

also for my last birthday!! havent made anything from it yet but it is really cool and i am so excited to make food from my favourite movies:))

Fever Series x3 (+1 in my nightstand)

currently rereading these, i havent read the 4th book tho

i found the first book at the library when i was pretty small, definitely less than 10, but i was too scared to read it. i think i gave up on reading it like 3 times but i kept thinking about it and eventually i read it and fell in looove. i love these books so much:D they are about everyone in sweden dying of fever except some kids:)

The Witch Boy

i first saw this book in sweden when i was 13 years old. it was in the basement of a game store, which is also the only store i have bought my own dice from. it also had a life size alien from the movies

i dont remember when i got the book myself though :( ive read some of it some years ago but dont think i finished it

More books my grandma got for free from the library x6

Wreck This Journal

my mom gave it to me when i was like 11 but i never really got to wrecking it u.u

Dreadnought

IT IS ABOUT A TRANS SUPERHERO :D her name is danny and i read some of it a summer in a tiny bedhouse (1 room building with 2 beds and nothing else. didnt even have a real door!!) at my aunties summerhouse (they are rich) i think i heard of it on tumblr. i love this book a lot but i havent finished it u.u

Extra Room No Books

d&d stuffs, some small toys and plushies, uuuh i see a small cardboard box but i dont remember whats inside:)

Shelf Below My Fancy Clothes

BNHA 1-17 i think?? also some Vigilantes, Black Butler 1+2, Bungou Stray Dogs 1, iii think thats it? i cant see it from here so idk

all of these were gifts from my grandma :)

"Nightstand" (chair thing i use as a nightstand)

First fever book

Killing Stalking 1+2 (bought at a comic store myself!! i was literally jumping around the store i was so excited to be there there was so much cool manga and there was stuff by neil gaiman!!! this is where bsd and the cookbook are from too)

The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy (given to me by a mutual actually :3 but like. mmmany years ago and i still havent read it >_o im sowey but i appreciate it a lot and i treasure it forever)

[thevaneltia]

im going to do these all at once cuz fuck waiting a month to answer all the questions.

also i havent finished the game, so ill probably rb this as i get further in. for reference, ive just gotten the lightship and directions to go to the four remaining rogress.

1. adele, strangely enough. in this point of the game, shes gone full blown yandere. and theres several points that have indicated that she is NOT doing well inside. particularly in a skit in the gula temple, alf talked about how shes been bottling up so much stuff and eventually it just exploded. and he lamented that he knew but didnt do anything about it. shes gone through so much shit and shes come out the other side an absolutely deplorable person. but i fucking love her as a character.

2. this might be a little obvious from my answer to #1, but alf, easily. theres just something special about younger brother prince trauma idk. that scene after the party gets arrested in diamant hit my fucking soul. weiss gloating over how he should just have the party executed while alf, separated from the group and surrounded by the guards that are supposed to protect him too BEGS his brother to let the others go. that scene just. AUGH also the way he blames himself for literally everything. even things he literally had zero way of causing. i am CERTAIN that him trying to fulfill his role as a child of eesa has a lot to do with his self imposed guilt. but its not even self imposed!! nobody just starts blaming themselves for everything for no reason. and we ALREADY know that weiss is an absolute dick bucket. he is for sure the cause of alfs current mental state. anyway i love me a good old fashioned pathetic man. i dont really like how hes been getting more and more incel coded as the games gone on tho. if that keeps up im stealing him and making him my oc and fixing his writing. whats imageepoch gonna do? they went bankrupt in 2015. eat my ass.

3. alf. next question.

4. l’arc. idk what the writers were doing but his ass is NOT a compelling character. hes an absolute dick to everyone. alf was keeping him in line for the first like 20 hours but now alf’s fucked off so we have to suffer through l’arcs existance unfiltered and hes fucking insufferable. the only good thing ive seen from him is that hes honest about how hes only doing the things hes doing for the money. but even then like COME ON. his employer is out here bombing cities and his ass is over there berating alf for being a “traitor” like dawg. be so fucking for real. the person alf is betraying is a fucking terrorist in charge of one of the most fucked up police states ive seen in a piece of media. also l’arc cant figure out whose fucking side hes on. which WOULD be compelling character wise if he wasnt trying to be wholly loyal to both weiss AND rifya and the whole imaginal thing WHILE ALSO constantly saying he doesnt give a shit. like i swear to god the word ive heard him sy most frequently is “whatever”. this is a bit of a hot take but i think the game shouldve been told from alfs perspecive. because alf is a compelling character and l’arc is a fucking bitch.

5. that one kopin in the race betting game at the casino whose tagline is “PASS ME AND I EAT YOU.” woody is his name. i fucking love woody. it also helps that hes one of the most profitable kopin to bet on.

6. oh god thats a hard one. ive mentioned the scene where the party is arrested in diamant. thats deffo up there. another REALLY banger scene is the scene at the top of the tower in antrax where the party splits up. also special shout out to that skit where alf reminisces with adele about hiking up a hill and eating sandwiches. bro dropped the fuckin “that might be my favorite memory of my whole life” line. and then had the audacity to say “nvm” when adele asked him to repeat himself. motherfucker how sad is your life that thats the happiest memory you can think of. i love you. im giving you forehead kisses you precious boy. OH AND I ALMOST FORGOT the scene in the church where we find out about the human experiments turing ppl into felldragons and then a few scenes later (or before? i dont remember) we find out serge is leon. fucking hell yeah bro.

7. i just downloaded the whole soundtrack the other day and literally every song is a banger. i havent listened to all of them for fear of spoilers, but the two themes for antrax took my heart out into the back alleys and shot it 20 times. i hope we get to rebuild antrax but im not gonna keep my hopes up. also the moon inn theme has a special place in my heart. i booted up the game for the first time in years and the first time i got to a moon inn i had to take a second and cry for a bit.

8. oh GOD. ignacy. hes such a fucking greasebag. i hate him so much but also AUGH. good character. terrible fucking person. i want to punch the shit out of his awful fucking face.

9. l’arc/alf. l’arc needs someone to reign his ass in and alf needs to feel like hes helping someone. it wouldnt be a HEALTHY relationship. at least not in the beginning. but i think if anyone could do it, they could.

10. serge & leslie. for being the “flirts” of the group they both give me such huge aroace vibes. i know theyre both in the party at the end of the game, so i know ill get more interactions between them and that makes me SO excited. theyre basically the parents of this goofy ass found family and i love it.

11. i dont know. i havent really interacted with the fandom at all. if two or three people can even be described as a “fandom”. most of the other ships i havent mentioned that exist are either straight up illegal or i just dont think theyd get together at all ever. im not shipping cecille with anyone cuz shes a fucking child. i REALLY dont think rastan is looking for a partner judging based on the line he said in the scripted loss ignacy fight about ignacy “paying for the death of his wife and child”. so i guess he had a wife and a kid and hes FOR SURE grieving that shit real hard. i dont really see ryfia getting with anyone. idk shes just super fucking sheltered and it would take a LOT before shed be in a position where she could actually give informed consent to anything. i cant think of a single reason for niko to get with anyone. especially considering the fact that the whole party is just constantly bullying him for no reason. and i cant think of any side characters that i would ship with anyone. although dynos and alf would go kinda hard if dynos would stop being a dick to alf. idk i guess i just dont have a least favorite ship.

12. rufunga. pretty big boobie lady. yes yes. i didnt get her tho unfortunately. alfs crew steamrolled me and i dont feel like grinding to beat that. especially cuz i know i fight alf and get all his rogress later. pretty water lady ill come get you eventually!!

13. neither? idk if thats even an option. but theyre kinda both lying to their respecive children of eesa. alf mentioned something about imaginal being an eletist prick and theres no way any child of eesa would choose real if the entire fine print was just “world go boom. new world time”. speaking of, people gotta learn informed consent in this fucking game. stop making contracts with gods when you dont know EXACTLY what youre getting into you stupid motherfuckers.

14. well THATS fucking ominous. not many have died yet. just zamuel and selena really. unless you count the untold innocents in antrax and benetnash. i already know niko dies later. thats a dumb fucking decision writing wise. the whole party has been bullying this kid since we fucking met him. and he sacrifices himself for them??? WHY????? in the gula temple he literally opens up to rastan and serge about feeling suicidal and nobody does anything about it. granted hes not SUPER clear with it. but what the fuck else is that supposed to look like. and rastan and serge just immediately blow him off just like everyone else does. fucking give this kid a break bro.

15. ive already listed a bunch of things i wish didnt happen earlier in the list, and therell probably be more listed later.

16. i havent really gotten much in that regard. but so far, both serge and rastan. the more i learn about them, the more i want to hold them in the palm of my hand and squish them. finding out serge was leon was fucking nuts, and rastans ass sitting there going “I FUCKING TOLD YOU PEOPLE SO” was hysterical. also i found out in a skit that rastans favorite flower is a lupine and WOAH those are so pretty.

like LOOK AT THEM THEYRE BEAUTIFUL. anyway. i am holding serge and rastan gently.

17. uhhh pretty much any of them would be cool as shit. NOT WEISS THO. OR IGNACY. THE WORLD DOESNT NEED MORE PSYCHOPATHIC SADISTIC BASTARDS

18. i was looking through the monster index a bit ago and this motherfucker stood out to me. i get that hes wearing little goggles but what is HAPPENING on the lower half of his face??? are those TEETH????? i think theyre teeth

also shout out to this silly little frog variant with a santa hat from around opalus. i love this stupid guy

also fuck his idle animation. motherfucker hops around and its IMPOSSIBLE to get a clean photo of his ass.

19. every single fight that begins with an enpty area and a dramatic angel choir before they jump in and start beating the shit out of you. those are fucking sick and they scare the fuck out of me EVERY time. also weiss. i fucking love the reveal of his wing arm thing. though, if it’s related to the felldragon experiments near ebur, i feel like he shouldve had some of the hozone crystal things in there somewhere. idk i just think those crystals are SO cool. theyre terrifying but also cool.

20. im guessing this is asking “whats your favorite animal outfit the party can wear”. the answer is rastan. motherfucker’s bear costume is so gigantic you cant even see the head. hes like 7 feet tall if you measure to the top of the bears head its RIDICULOUS.

21. im gonna go individual characters. and only the outfits i have so far. for l’arc its “meridian boy”. it makes me think about how he couldve had a normal life. a lot of things wouldve had to change, but its neat to think about. ryfia’s is “the artist”. she looks so cutie patootie in it. and the hat is adorable on her. rastan’s is the bear costume obviously. goofy ass motherfucker. for cecille its gotta be “frilly bikini”. she has a fucking neon green water pistol. have they even invented plastic yet?????? im not gonna question it. niko’s has to be his version of the “pilgrim’s robes”. that outfit is NOT hiding his imperial army uniform. what a silly little guy. serge’s original outfit is peak but his “pilgrim’s robes” compliment his hair so nicely. i dont remember if alf had any outfits. i think he had a swimsuit? seeing him shirtless was a little silly. hes so fucking pale lmao. adele got a cute little school dress and a swimsuit if i recall. the dress was cute. but her diva fit goes SO HARD. its INCREDIBLY impractical. but i love it anyway. and leslie isnt in my party officially yet but i know she will be in the end, and i have outfits for her. i havent seen it on her ingame, but i saw her shrine maiden dress online and its SO cute i love it. shes so mommy. but in a “shes definitely ace but makes sex jokes to fuck with people” way. thats canon btw. the second part at the very least. i dont think any of these characters have canon sexualities. OMG EXCEPT WAIT. SERGE. hes been flirting with everyone regardless of gender. my personal hc is that hes demisexual like me becaus thatd be sick.

22. oh thats easy. alf talking about adele’s mental state. i took photos of it.

i am holding alf so very gently

23. at the moment? the gun named “bugkiller”. its literally just bug spray with a gun trigger.

24. alf minus the incel bullshit. i fucking love my traumatized boy. and i relate a little too hard to the way he blames himself for other peoples actions

25. first step: cry for a bit about the state of the world. second step: realize its pretty much the same as the real world. third step: make a BEELINE for the new moon inn and live there forever.

26. i want l’arc to shut the fuck up for two seconds. or for a gay kiss. either between alf and l’arc or if rastan had a coming to gay jesus moment and kissed serge. thatd be awesome.

27. uhhhh idk i dont really associate any songs with the game other than the soundtrack for it. i booted it up for the first time in years and started a new file cuz i dont remember SHIT about what happens (i was up to the gula temple) and every single song that has played has made me put down my controller for a second and have a little bit of a cry. the moon inn and topazion/jada in particular hit me hard.

28. my mother bought a copy back when it first came out and she beat it. then one day i was rooting around the games cabinet trying to find something to play, and pulled it out. mom said i could play it (why i would need permission to play a fucking video game that we already own is beyond me but this post isnt about my abusive mother). i remember opening up her save at one point (the one she made VERY CLEAR that i was Not Allowed to Save Over or God Help Me) and she was in the final dungeon. i wandered around in there for a bit but had no idea how later aspects of the combat worked. i also DONT remember what the final dungeon looked like. i think it was purplish and greenish and in the middle of the map where the giant pocket of ocean is. thats all i got idk lol

29. rastan. theres a spot open for a parental figure in my life and i know my dad isnt opposed to kissing boys. i just know rastans a good dad. hes a little suicidal but hey everyone else in my family has dealt with ideation (myself included) so who cares.

30. i havent played the luminous arc stuff before so i cant say much about the series. but THIS game is so fucking good. the only bad thing is the english voice acting, but its so bad that its wrapped back around to being funny. but literally everything else is fucking great. the artstyle, the characters, the fucking story, the game mechanics. GOD. yummy game.

Welcome to the 30 Day Arc Rise Fantasia Challenge!

Favorite Female Character

Favorite Male Character

Favorite Character Overall

Least Favorite Character

Favorite Minor Character

Favorite Scene (party chats count as well)

Favorite Song

Favorite Villain

Favorite Romantic Ship

Favorite Platonic Ship

Least Favorite Ship

Favorite Rogress

Imaginal or Real?

A character you wish wasn’t dead

Something you wish didn’t happen

Favorite character backstory

A character you wish was real

Favorite monster

Favorite boss (side ones included)

Fursuits

Favorite alternative outfit (for one or any character or all)

Favorite quote

Favorite weapon

A character you find most relatable

What would you do if you suddenly found yourself in the world of ARF?

Something you wished happened but never did

A song that reminds you of the series

How did you find out about ARF?

What character would you want to be your best friend?

Why do you like/love this series?

[evieonic]

Zhongli/Diluc Headcanons

Zhongli x Diluc headcanons hERE WE GO BISH.

Specifically on how they met and how they fell in love!

I don’t think the game covers how they meet??? I actually don’t think they have any interactions together at all so I’m thinking how they met is probably some kind of “birthday” party for Zhongli where Childe dragged him to Mondstat to try drinking some of their wine insTEAD OF WHINING ABOUT OSMEDUES WHATEVER IT CALLED WINE AND COMPLAINING ABOUT THOSE WHO SHARE THE MEMORIES... Sorry. he says that a lot, i’m just saying.

Childe probably sat them both down at the bar so he could get an up close experience with the towns folk and all that stuff cause he probably knows Kaeya and a few other people there. Venti of course is there and playing his tunes and oF COURSE zhongli glares at him the second he walks in. XD

They happened to arrive at the bar on a night that Diluc is working there. And when they see each other for the first time, they have two very different reactions.

Zhongli finds Diluc to be very attractive. But only in the sense that he looks like a gentleman, an upper-classmen, a respectable person who holds himself in high regard. He’s probably a polite person, probably very kind, likes to get things done for the good of the world and Zhongli likes that. He’s by no means romantically attracted tho... not yet that is ;)

Diluc, however... Zhongli’s hot, okay? He’s stunning, he looks like a gentleman too, like a respectable man, totally different from Kaeya - he actually looks like Diluc in that standard, in the standard of looking like a gentleman but the difference here is Zhongli looks so fucking good at it and that makes Diluc’s knees weak but here’s the thing, Diluc is a tsundere so he’s not going to admit it at all.

How do they fall in love? Well Diluc serves them their drinks and Zhongli being both the polite man he is and also intrigued, he starts asking Diluc questions. Ya know, get to know questions. They chat and Diluc discovers that Zhongli is really fun to talk to. He has a little polite smile the whole time that brings him comfort as they talk about random things, sometimes going off into tangents together. Childe and Venti both realize pretty quickly that sparks are flying so they back away and neither of the gentlemens in question realize that they are alone at the bar and also... learning and drifting closer to each other.

It’s when Zhongli finishes his drink and comments about how late it’s gotten that Diluc realizes he has his elbows on the bar, leaning forward, listening closely to every word Zhongli says, looking like someone who’s falling in love, dammit. And hell, it’s when Zhongli and Childe bid farewell and mention that they’re returning to Liyue that Diluc realizes that he actually is! He’s developing a crush on the man and he’s not too sure how he feels about that.

Diluc thinks he’s never gonna see Zhongli ever again but the next night, he does and Zhongli explains that he wanted to stop by and give Diluc an address so they could write together because he just enjoyed their conversations so much that he really wouldn’t like them to end. But as soon as Zhongli says that, he gets flustered, realizing how creepy that sounds and shyly pulls at his collar, his cheeks getting red as he says, “but only if you would like to as well, of course.”

Diluc very much would like to. In fact, he very much would like to, to the point where he folds his arms over his chest and says, “why write? I could use a break and I've been wanting to see Liyue for a while. How about we converse there? In person is always better, you know.”

Diluc can’t believe how bold he just got and almost takes back his offer but Zhongli smiles so... brightly that Diluc says nothing while Zhongli eagerly accepts his offer and tells him when they are leaving and asks him when he can pick him up. His reaction is just another reminder to Diluc that he is falling head over heels.

Long story short, Diluc goes with Zhongli and they just are non-stop talking the whole time. Talking about everything under the sun, talking about everything they possibly can talk about. And with each topic, they are shifting closer together, their knees bumping, their fingers touching. It’s obvious to literally everyone else but them that sparks are just SOARING right now.

Diluc spends time in Liyue, exploring it with Zhongli for a day but then he extends his vacation. And extends it again. Until he finally has to leave. When he leaves, he’s very sad cause he’s just been having so much fun with Zhongli, more fun than he’s ever had in his life.

Zhongli also has been having an amazing time so when they go to part ways, he smiles sadly and asks him to please write to him because he really, truthfully wants to get to know him better as a person.

And that just sends Diluc reeling cause holyfuckthishandsomemanwantstogettohimomg but he recovers and shakes his hand and smiles back saying, “of course!” 

They both shake hands and say farewell... oh, that doesn’t seem romantic? Listen, they both really want to hug, Diluc REALLY wants to do more, but they just met, so they can’t be doing anything like that yet. Baby steps, people, baby steps.

As soon as Diluc gets home and gets to work, he kind of forgets about Zhongli. He doesn’t really forget him per say or the time they spent it’s just at first, he wonders if Zhongli truly meant it when he asked him to write to him, then he convinced himself that he didn’t mean it, probably just a polite Liyue thing to say, then he got busy and then he just... forgot. 

But nearly two weeks later, he receives a letter from his Zhongli, a freaking six paged letter, full of questions and full of details about his day. It’s so detailed and specific that Diluc feels like he was there with Zhongli that day and best part is at the end of his letter, Diluc is reminded once more that Zhongli... meant it. Cause he signed it with his name and with a plea for Diluc to please write back and to please visit him when he can because he... misses him. Oh that gets feelings stirring once more.

Diluc hasn’t even taken off his shoes and he’s already sitting at his desk with parchment and ink, writing a letter about his day and about how he made a safe return because Zhongli was really worried about that. He talks about his tavern, his customers, he talks about how he misses Zhongli as well and how he wishes he could return to Liyue soon. He writes nearly eight pages of content before he finally brings himself to a stop and seals his letter, immediately sending it off.

The next few days are full of excitement cause he’s dying for response. People have noticed actually, Diluc is smiling so much more often now, his eyes light up and he’s kind and sociable towards people more often. He’s even more lenient on the alcohol with Venti and he talks to Kaeya. He actually talks to him. Kaeya wouldn’t admit it if you asked that he cried tears of joy that night that finally Diluc was talking to him.

His routine is the same for nearly three months. Working, waiting for letter, reading letter, writing letter, sending letter than repeat. He receives nearly a six or eight paged letter each time, always full of Zhongli’s day and questions about his own. His letters are so adorable because each and every time, Zhongli is concerned he’s boring Diluc with stories about his work and about how his day has gone. Diluc reassures him constantly that he loves it. He loves hearing about what he’s doing, what he did in the morning, what he talked to Hu Tao about in the afternoon, what his late night thoughts were...  It makes him feel like... a couple.

It becomes harder and harder for Diluc as the days go by for him to push his feelings down. The man isn’t in front of him, speaking his words, all the words are just on paper and yet Diluc’s feelings are growing stronger and stronger by the day. It gets to the point where Diluc blushes by the mention of his name and starts to eagerly ask for Zhongli to visit him without him even realizing it.

He realizes it when he receives a short letter from Zhongli in return, so short, it’s just a page saying..., “Yes.”

Diluc gets the letter the same day Zhongli arrives, smiling with a twinkle in his eyes as he opens the door to his tavern.

And Diluc simply forgets where he is, he forgets he is in public, he forgets that it’s Zhongli and they’ve known each other only for a few months but Diluc forgets it all and just leaps over the bar counter, grabs him by his collar and kisses him like he hasn’t seen him in years. Everything just stops. Everyone shuts the fuck up. Venti stops playing his harp, staring in disbelief.  Kaeya dropped his drink. Everything just stops. 

Diluc has Zhongli’s face cradled in his hands, melting into the kiss, too into it to realize that Zhongli’s eyes are wide with shock and isn’t kissing him back.

But as soon as Diluc realizes, he pulls away like the man is made of fire and instantly goes to cover his mouth, his cheeks nearly the same color as his hair. A mix of emotions run through him; embarrassment, love but mainly... hurt.

He takes one look at Zhongli’s face, then his eyes go to the tavern’s crowd, seeing that all eyes are on him so he turns back to Zhongli, mumbles a quick “sorry” and bolts out of the door.

He runs. He doesn’t even know where he’s going but he runs. Before he knows it, he’s run down the road, to the gate of his estate, breathing hard. His heart is surging with emotions and he almost wants to cry. He ruined everything. He just had to go and ruin everything. Zhongli didn’t kiss him back which was understandable, Zhongli probably hasn’t even ever regarded him like that and yet he’s done messed up their friendship by kissing him.

He’s so stupid.

But while he’s in a state of self-loathing, he suddenly hears footsteps chasing after him. Zhongli comes to a stop as their eyes meet, both of them looking at each other, surprised and confused. They’re silent for a moment before Zhongli finally speaks, his eyes full of concern... “You... You ran away so quickly,  I couldn’t help but follow.” Diluc doesn’t even know what to say. But Zhongli does. “I just wasn’t expecting that. You pulled away before I could...,” he chuckled softly, his smile fading as he realized how hurt Diluc was. How much he misunderstood. So he clarifies, “I love you too, Diluc.”

With that, Diluc’s breath hitches and he doesn’t know how to react. A new surge of emotions hits him and his feet are moving before his mind can catch up. Zhongli rushes closer to him, his hands coming to his face while Diluc’s arms go around his neck and again, Diluc kisses him but this time Zhongli kisses back and it’s perfect. Everything is just perfect. After that, everything is history. The two of them are a couple and a very happy one at that. A few months later, Zhongli permanently moves into Diluc’s estate to be closer to him. They spend nights cuddling, chatting about the same old topics that they never get bored of and during the day? Zhongli helps Diluc at his tavern. Many people agree that it’s adorable to watch Diluc and his partner work together to clean glasses and serve their customers. One more remarkable thing? Diluc is happy. And no one has seen him like that for a long time.

Well! That’s all I got, folks! I hope you enjoyed that! If you want more, i’m open to requests. I have a list of ships I like to do and a list of fandoms i like to do so go ahead and check those out if you’d like to ask for something specific. I’m always open to prompts and headcanons and accept mostly anything so just ask! XD Thank you for reading!

[bmpmp3]

JUST finished heishi’s route in norn9 hold on i wanna talk about whatever i just witnessed (also might have spoilers for kakeru and senri since those are the other two ive finished) (also also spoilers for amnesia memories because i always wanna talk about amnesia memories)

SO LIKE ive been playing norn9 in the slowest way humanly possible (started in 2017 and im three routes down half a decade later LOL not a bad game tho!! the soundtrack is fantastic and the comedy writing is really great even if the plot stuff so far feels a little disjointed, its just a 9 love interest game is a little overwhelming hfjdksjsfkdls) and like i have a tendency to take several month long breaks between routes as well as whatever my brain decides is a natural stopping point and last time i played heishi’s route was like. some time last year. i was unmedicated at the time so i dont remember where exactly but it was like JUST before his first attempt at a confession on the top floor/roof thing of the orb they live on, and like

i think ive mentioned before how while ive heard that Toma’s behaviour is explained in the amnesia fandiscs as his mild possessiveness being amplified by time loop wackiness, i still choose to believe he’s just Like That because i think its hilarious to add just one more strange incongruous thing to a simultaneous grounded and out there game like amnesia (like how mathematicians in this universe seem to wear a lot of belts????????). well ive decided in my head to view heishi’s route as the opposite HJFJDhjlkfdssjflkd

like RIGHT after he got his confession wiped from his memory by nanami to stop ron from shooting him, he got like WACKY like it felt like i was playing a different route with a different guy and i dunno about the fandiscs yet but in game its explained as heishi losing control over the emotions he’s been suppressing because he’s in love and stressed out but I CHOOSE to believe that the mind wipes scrambled his brain because i like. the speculative fiction implications of that JKDLSDJs

girl his bad end. girl oh my god. girl what WAS that like seriously i havent been this caught off guard by otome game love interest since I first started playing them and got Toma’d, like GIRL oh my god

the other bad ends i played werent quite this level like kakeru’s had him getting wacky cause of his mind control earring which was nuts and i loved it but it like. was foreshadowed. and i dont remember senri’s bad ending at all (as forementioned i was unmedicated while finishing it so i dont remember everything orz i do remember natsuhiko being like ‘jesus christ is that a fucking gremlin” every time he saw him tho which was hilarious) but i cant imagine it was that nuts, but girl. oh my god

everyone always talks about ron (haven’t gotten to him yet but like. looking at him in other routes i can guess how he’s gonna be. which is kind of a shame and why i dont really care for the yandere routes being obvious LOL like okay the sketchy amoral guy is sketchy and amoral. who coulda guess. im being mean sorry i think i just love wild shit happening in otome games, i just think itd be really funny if instead of being fucked up, after all his behaviour in other routes, ron was just like a normal dude in his own. keep my on my toes otome games) but i hadnt heard a LICK about heishi. actually maybe thats why it worked so well... i was so prepared for whatever’s gonna go on with ron that i let my guard down with heishi fsjkldkfjsd

gonna be like 28-53 business days until i play another route but im gonna do akito next, hope he’s normal, koharu had a reasonable time with kakeru and a great time with senri yet nanami can’t seem to catch a break orz praying for her

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

COSMIC - S3:E3; Chapter Three, The Case Of The Missing Lifeguard - [Pt. 5]

A Will Byers x Reader Series

𝘌𝘭 𝘨𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘉𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘏𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳. 𝘞𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭𝘴 𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦𝘨𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘥, 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘔𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘓𝘶𝘤𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘋&𝘋. 𝘋𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘚𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦 𝘴𝘱𝘺 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘙𝘰𝘣𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘱𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘙𝘶𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘢𝘯 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘨𝘦.

⚠️: Castle Byers scene. Meaning lots of angst, self destructive thinking, and misguided self punishing

📝: Started making it... had a break down [fr tho]... ¯\_( ツ)_/¯ bon appetite! 👩‍🍳 [edit: told ya 💀]

🔑: underlined and bold means they're talking in Russian

||𝟑𝐑𝐃 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐏𝐎𝐕||

Warm rain spits from the angry blanket of clouds, falling through the sky and drenching Mike and Lucas to the bone despite their rain gear. Mud splashed up onto their ankles and drenching their socks as their bikes skid up the Byers driveway. Without a thought, they throw their bikes into the ground before racing up onto Will's porch.

It had taken far longer than they cared to admit to decide to go and find Will. To make things right.

Mike was realizing far too late just how right Will was. He didn't even recognize himself anymore. El had become such an important piece of his life, but he hadnt realized until now just how much he let his feelings screw up all the wonderful things he had in his life to begin with. He missed how things used to be. With the party. With Y/n.

With Will.

All the anger he feels towards himself is channeled into his fist banging on Will's front door.

"Will!" He cries. "Will, I'm sorry, man, alright? I was being a total asshole. I've been a total asshole. Please, can you just come outside and we'll talk?"

No answer but the thundering clouds rolling over their heads. He pounds on the door again.

"Will!"

Lucas hurries to the window, cupping his palms against the glass and peering inside. He knocks on the window, doing his best to peer around the curtains and furniture obscuring his sight.

"Hey, Will! Come on, man! We're sorry!" He knocks again, growing nervous. "Will!"

||𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕||

'Sorry, man. Curfew,'

'For the last time, Will! No!'

-'What, so I should be locked up all day, too?'

-'Maybe!'

Huffing, I throw the wrinkling comic book into the old mattress. Nothing was working. Nothing was enough to distract me. I was too angry.

I looked down at the withered cover of the comic book I had just thrown, my chest sinking further. Dustin's X-MEN 134, he gave it to me after that night at the hospital.

Thinking about it now, I can't even remember the last time all seven of us hung out as a party. I don't count Dustin's welcome home. Mike and El couldn't be bothered to pretend to care, and Lucas and Max kept ganging up on Dustin. Dustin was understandably upset and not wanting anything to do with us, leaving just me and Y/n. And now, not even her.

How did everything get so messed up?

What was I doing wrong?

I looked around the walls of Castle Byers, a lump forming in my throat. Everywhere I looked, I was painfully reminded of the truth.

My friends don't want me anymore.

I keep telling myself that's bullshit, but the more I do the more it feels like a lie.

They're moving on without me.

Friends don't just forget you, I reasoned. They don't just abandon you.

Then why were they doing just that?

Maybe they weren't my real friends. Friend's don't do what they did.

Everything hurts. I've been telling myself I'm fine, that I'm overreacting but I don't think I am anymore. I'm just tired. I'm tried of feeling like this. I'm tired of being pushed aside, especially when I need them most.

They didn't use to be like this, I tell myself. But somehow that just hurts more.

I had people that cared about me, who were willing to risk their lives to save me. Twice.

And now they don't give me a second thought.

I was shaking now, but I don't think it's from the rain. The storm had finally reached me, seeping through the walls and dampening my clothes and hair.

Another painful realization hits me; Castle Byers looked just like it had the night I built it with Jonathan.

Even though this night was so much like the night Castle Byers was constructed, it couldn't feel more different. More unfamiliar.

My teary eyes find my first D&D manual, propped up against the wooden walls, soaked and forgotten like me. I'm painfully reminded of the night all this started.

I remember it as clear as if it were yesterday, and yet it feels light-years away.

'Something is coming. Something hungry for blood.'

《•••》

"What is it?" I ask, edging further off my seat.

This time it's Dustin who cuts in, "What if it's the Demogorgon?"

Oh, great, I think, throwing myself back in my seat with an anxious huff. We're not ready to face a Demogorgon!

Beside me, Y/n draws in an equally anxious breath.

"Oh, Jesus, we're so screwed if it's the Demogorgon." Dustin rambles on.

"It's not the Demogorgon." Lucas says, assuring us all.

《•••》

My eyes trail to one of my favorite drawings; Will The Wise and Y/C/N. The one I had made when Y/n was first constructing her character. The one that hung in my room for so long, always cheering me up. The one that gave my mom the idea to help me communicate my now memories.

The one that Y/n always threatened to steal for her room as often and as recently as her last visit. The memory of her warm touch lingering on my cheeks burned as bright as the blush raging over me that night so long ago.

'Wait a minute... Did you guys hear that?'

《•••》

The anticipated silence in the basement left by Mike grew louder as he leaned in.

"Boom..." His voice grows louder. "Boom," Louder.

"BOOM!" Mike bellows, slamming his hands against the flat surface, rattling the table and all its contents.

The sudden noise was enough to make me and my friends jump, as was the sudden hand grabbing for my own.

All the more startled, I look down to see Y/n's hand grasping my arm like a lifeline. I feel my skin flush, my cheeks surely reddened as I catch her eye. She looked flustered, smiling a small smile before retracting her hand and returning to the game, unknowingly leaving me in a dizzying blush.

•••

"Will, your action!"

"Fireball!" I cry, throwing the dice to the board with a satisfying rattle.

"FOURTEEN!"

My friends erupt into cheers, all around me as we celebrate together.

"BOOM!"

"Direct hit!" Mike cries, beaming proudly at me across the table. "Will the Wise's fireball hits the Thessalhydra!"

Our excited shouts fill the basement, each and every one of us victorious. My smile can't get any wider when I feel Y/n's hands grip my shoulder and begin shaking me excitedly. We both laugh, feeling on top of the world with our cheering friends by our side.

《•••》

Pained, I look away only to find the proof right in front of my eyes. My three favorite pictures; all of them, my friends and me — happy — staring back up at me.

Our photo from the science fair, encased in the popsicle frame Mike had made bearing all of our characters' names along the side. I brought it here, I brought all my favorite pictures here, to Castle Byers — to my safe place — cause that's where I knew I would need their comfort the most.

But as I look at them now, all I feel is bitterness and pain. I'm reminded of just how much everything has changed.

The science fair was a reminder of the good thing I had before that night. Before everything started.

Y/n and me, at the Snow Ball. My arm wrapped around her, the two of us grinning nervously. It wasn't just the night Y/n and I had first kissed, it was also the first night I felt like the Party had gotten bigger. All of us, Max and El included had been happy. Everyone was laughing and getting along, the happiest we had ever been — the strongest. But now I see it was really the beginning of the end.

It had been coming for so long and I didn't even see it.

And Halloween. Last Halloween, everything had been perfect. For just one. Single. Stupid. Moment.

Shakily, I pick up the photo Jonathan had taken of all of us in our costumes. We were all smiling.

We were all happy.

'Who you gonna call?'

《•••》

I beam as I see my friends pulling up, looking just as excited as I felt.

"Ghostbusters!" I finish, watching as they look me over, happily surprised.

"Hey, Spengler!"

"Egon! Looking sharp!" Y/n grinned, pulling me into a quick hug.

"Janine!" I beam. "Venkman!"

《•••》

As I look at it now, my eyes and throat stinging as Mike's voice echoes louder than ever in my mind.

'I mean, what did you think, really?'

What was I thinking?

'That we were just gonna sit in my basement all day, playing games for the rest of our lives?'

How could I have been so naive?

'it's not my fault you can't move on!'

How could I have been so... so...

"Stupid." I tell myself, my voice splitting in my throat. "So stupid!"

My hands trembling violently with rage and my own sobs, I tear the photo in two.

I was stupid. Stupid to believe I was as big of a priority to them as they were to me.

I rip the drawing off the walls, tearing it to pieces.

Stupid to ever think they'd still cared about me.

I rip and tear and crumple up every meaningful piece of them in an act of defiance.

They won't care. I think bitterly. They won't miss these, they probably won't even notice. Not like I would have.

I grab my bat.

How could I be so fucking stupid?!

Why was I hanging on to all this stuff anyway? Why was I clinging so tightly to something that was already gone?

Because I've been stupid. I'm just some stupid kid that won't grow up.

I storm out of the tent.

I'm just some stupid kid who can't grow up. They made that perfectly clear.

I stand in the pouring rain now, heart thundering in my chest as I stare at the piece of my childhood I couldn't let go of.

So. Stupid.

And I start swinging.

I swing and I swing, with an anger and frustration I've never felt so intensely until now. It's been building my whole life and I didn't realize it. Every swing is simultaneously the best and the worst I've ever felt. Every slur I've heard from my dad, from Troy, is channeled into the bat. Every ounce of frustration and fear I felt since I came back from the Upside Down that nobody understood. Every laugh, every jeer, every single moment I've felt alone is channeled into the destruction of the one place on this earth I ever felt safe.

But it holds up and in the back of my mind, I hear Jonathan again.

'And it took so long cause you were so bad at hammering'

And I start kicking, and I start ripping the walls apart until it's a crumpled heap and I stop.

The sight of Castle Byers in ruins breaks me even harder.

I didn't want it gone, but I did it anyway. That part of me that was angry at myself, told me to keep going. Cause that's what I deserved for believing things could stay the same even though deep down I knew that wasn't true.

I finally stop when I see the castle in ruins.

Exhausted, I collapse to the ground beside the wreckage.

As I sob, stewing in the pain and overwhelming grief I felt I was drowning in, the rain pours heavily over me, soaking me to the bone.

Just as it had the night it had been built.

And now, Castle Byers was gone.

||𝟑𝐑𝐃 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐏𝐎𝐕||

When blue meets yellow in the west.

8:41 pm. It was almost time.

The yellow and blue clock hands were illuminated by a flash of lightning, streaking through the mall's skylight. Starcourt had long since closed, and the real activity was just beginning.

Stationed at the loading docks near the back, standing under the worst storm Hawkins had seen in years were two guards. They watched through the downpour as the scheduled truck backed its way under the concrete cover.

And perched on the roof, just out of sight sat Dustin, Steve, and Robin, scouting from under their rain slickers.

"Look for Imperial Panda and Kauffman Shoes," she reminds them.

Steve wipes away at the rain dripping into his eyes, squinting even further to get a clear picture Dustin already has.

A man in a bright yellow raincoat emerges from a hidden side door, a trolley cart full of packages marked with a familiar insignia.

"They're with that whistling guy!" Dustin says suddenly, motioning out from behind the only pair of binoculars.

"What do you think's in there?" Steve wonders, eyeing the Lynx logo on the back of their many yellow jackets.

"Guns? Bombs?"

"Chemical weapons?" Robin tries.

"Whatever it is," Dustin says, now cautiously studying the heavily armed guards. He had to admit to himself, they really weren't trying very hard not to be obvious. "they're armed to the teeth."

"Great," comes Steve's sarcastic voice, once again rubbing at his eyes, silently wishing he had brought a coat with a hood. "That's great."

A soft clink that would have been obnoxiously loud had it not been for the noise of the storm brings their attention to another guard. Having pressed a glowing button on a small control panel, two large metal doors swung open to reveal another room.

"Hey!" Robin says, squinting through the rain as she tries to get a glimpse without the binoculars. "What's in there?"

"It's just more boxes,"

"Let me check it out," Steve says, grabbing for the binoculars.

Huffing, Dustin fought to keep his grip on the binoculars. "No, I'm still looking!"

"Lemme see it!"

"Hang on!"

Steve's grip had loosened with the slick of rain, sending the binoculars knocking into the cement. The issue had already been forgotten when they saw the guards' attention had been stolen. Simultaneously, the three of them dove to the ground in a panic.

The guards began to pace, grip on their firearms tightening as they gaze out into the night. Seeing nothing but empty roofs and angry skies above them, they unknowingly miss the trio huddled against the roof wall.

Just out of sight to the right of Dustin, Steve and Robin sat panting as they try to calm their racing hearts. Way too close a call. And neither of them had realized what they had done until their eyes landed on their entertained hands. Just as quickly as they notice, they break apart, embarrassed.

Down below, the guards were now on high alert. One of them, unable to shake the feeling of being watched, stalked into the rain with his eyes deadset on an open spot on the roof. He was certain he heard the noise come from that direction.

"Stay here!" He orders to the other. "Watch the door!"

Reluctantly, his partner complies and inches back towards the doors.

When he finally reaches the top of the stairwell, he hesitates only a moment before he throws the roof door open, gun cocked.

But he was met only with steady claps of thunder and an empty roof.

Had he been wrong?

Or had he just missed whoever had been here?

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

Clothes drenched, their shoes sloshing underneath their feet like sponges, Steve, Robin, and Dustin slip out from the shadows and make their way throughout the back halls behind the scenes of Starcourt.

"Well, I think we sound your Russians," Robin quips.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Black Trans Travel Fund:

For The Gworls:

"The Black Trans Travel Fund is a grassroots, Black Trans led Collective, providing Black Transgender Women with financial and material resources needed to remove barriers to self-determining and accessing safer travel options"

Trans Women Of Color Collective Fund

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

"Founded by a Black transgender woman and a Black nonbinary person, For The Gworls raises money to help provide funds for rent and gender affirming surgeries for Black transgender people across the country."

Taglist:

@dickkwad @iblesstherainsdown-in-africa @miscellaneoustoasts @happyandlonely-blog @peeperparkour ​ @ba-responds @bibliophilesquared @blogforhoes ​ @witch-of-all-things-soft @shawkneecaps @whothefuckstolemykeds @daughter-of-the-stars11 ​ @stranger-things4 @kpopanimegirl ​ @nightbu-g @lozzybowe @gizmofishersupremacy @spiderbitch69420

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[lazyneonrabbitt]

Paintings & Picture frames. [Pt.7]

Daryl Dixon x Reader [Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.4] [Pt.5] [Pt.6]

A/N: We’re nearing the end of intro week! I’m thinking of ways to keep them interacting after this, I don’t wanna end this story yet but I also don’t wanna make them date immediately just so I have a reason to make them spend time together. Updates after the next chapter may be a little slower because of this! Please enjoy this chapter!

Daryl loved watching you work, with everything you did there was this softness and it all looked so carefully thought out from his point of view. Not like his work that was all rough, and his mechanic work may have intricate parts but it was no way to be considered art. The two of you kept working for a while longer, constantly finding small things to edit or fix. After the umpteenth tiny edit, wondering what color would suit better with the photos used on your cover and eventually setting on one you realised it had started to get late already and your stomachs were grumbling for some food. Hearing your body make all the hungry noises you immediately felt embarrassed and felt a blush creep up your cheeks. Daryl noticed your shifting and let out a soft laugh. "

Ya wanna eat? I can head home if we're done." He offered. He wasn't sure how much longer he was welcome now that you had finished your schoolwork. You didn't want him to leave yet, it was nice to have someone over for a while, even if it was just for school. He was nice to be around and in a new town that was amazing already. "We can order something, I got paid this week so I got some extra cash to spend." You offered to buy dinner for the two of you and Daryl wanted to say no and go home, but he really didn't want to go back home again. He'd see you at school tomorrow but what was gonna happen after the project week was done and you both went your own ways? He wasn't ready to have that happen just yet so he reluctantly agreed on having dinner with you. "Yeah, sounds good. What're ya thinkin' of?" He asked and you opened up your local delivery service website. After going through multiple suggestions that were turned down by you being a picky eater or Daryl not being in the mood for that kind of food you ended on pizza. The one topic you immediately agreed on, a share size barbeque chicken pizza with extra bacon. After you ordered the pizza you went over to your desk to set up your printer to get your project on paper and all nice in a folder. Making sure all the pages were in the right order, adding the cover in the page sleeve on the front and putting the original artworks you made behind the last pages as well as some extra printed photos you made during Daryl's classes. All got some kind of description written on the back by the person who made the picture or painting.

Not long after you had it all put together your pizza arrived at the front door of your building, telling the guy you were gonna come and pick it up there and leaving Daryl alone in your apartment. He looked around at everything, observing and taking in every little detail from your matching dark furniture to your weird amount of small statues of animals and video game stuff. The dinner table was littered with art supplies that wouldn't fit on your desk anymore, which was full of digital artist items and sketchpads. Without really thinking of it at all he got up and walked towards your desk. It was full of half filled pieces of paper with small sketches on them. It mostly was all in one theme and while some were crossed out or had some negative texts written next to them, others had certain parts circled in colored marker with details written next to them that probably all made sense when put together. He of course had no idea what that put together something would be, but he was sure it would be really cool. On the table behind him were all kinds of paints and large papers filled with colors and mixes, something like what he learned in your class last week, but then huge and way more detailed than the small thing you two made in a two-hour class that was mostly the teacher explaining stuff instead of actually working. He mostly just followed your lead that day and still had no clue what he did but you seemed to be proud of what he did and that was all that mattered. It was weird how just looking at some colors on paper made him think about memories with you that made his heart flutter inside his chest. There was no way he was gonna tell you that, though. Not until he was sure you felt the same way, not that you ever would feel the same about a guy like him.

Back in the hallway you walked towards your apartment, taking deep breaths and trying to calm your mind. Having dinner with Daryl was just a normal classmates thing to do after finishing a project, nothing to be worried about. Except maybe accidentally spilling your drink. Or eating weird. Choking on a crumb or maybe just air. Would he be grossed out if you talked with your mouth full? What the hell, all those thoughts were so stupid you didn't even know how your head came up with them. You were just normally gonna eat your takeout pizza like you always do and everything would be fine. You made it back to your door in one piece and balanced the pizza in one hand while you fiddled with your keys in the other, opening the door and walking in. Daryl had been so intrigued by your artwork that he hadn't noticed you come in and set the pizza on the coffee table. "Food's here." You stated, watching Daryl snap out of his gaze. "Aight, cool." He stuttered on his way back to tho couch. To say he felt embarrassed being caught staring at your personal work was an understatement. He felt like he had accidentally invaded your privacy and had no idea how to tell you. But then again you didn't seem angry or anything so was it really as bad as he thought. You noticed him not really paying attention to the food first thing after sitting down and wondered what went on in his head. Maybe you weren't the only one nervous about having dinner together? While you already did have coffee at the diner while you worked earlier this week, so this wasn't even that new. Of course you were still nervous because that was just who you were.

The thoughts quickly left when you were both eating and enjoying the food a lot. "What place was this? Gotta get this at work sometime." Daryl commented after grabbing a second piece while putting the last bits of his first slice in his mouth. You told him the name of the place and where it was located. Daryl knew the street it was located on but never really paid much attention to the shops that occupied it. He did pass the place multiple times a week on his way to work and he was sure to pay more attention to it from now on. The two of you ate mostly in silence beside the occasional comment about pizzas or the suggestion of a drink refill. Only when there were only two slices left that were now in the both of yours hands, you started talking more. The conversations went from favorite foods to your hobbies outside of your study, tv shows you liked to watch or places you'd ever want to visit. Before the two of you had realised it, it had gotten dark outside already. You only realised when Daryl wanted to go outside for another cigarette. That one cigarette quickly turned into a Shit it's this late already?! goodbye smoke in front of your apartment building, with a promise to see each other again in the morning on Daryl's usual parking spot at school before your last day of the introduction week.

[cross-d-a]

fic tag game

aaahhh @vishcount thank you for tagging me!!! These are so fun and I adored reading about your fic journey~!  ೖ(⑅σ̑ᴗσ̑)ೖ ❤

OH as a note!! For the ppl I tag at the end I don’t expect you to read all of this bc it’s A Lot!!! but I figured you might want to do this game yourself? haha :)

Name: cross-d-a shortened version of my first ever username. unfortunately stuck with it now haha but i’m fond of it :p wish it was cuter tho!!

Posting the rest of this under the cut so it doesn’t eat up people’s dashes!! 

(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

Fandoms: 

oKAY YIKES there are....honestly too many too name. I’ve got a short and obsessive attention span so it’s either all or nothing with me usually. When I can stay in a fandom for a long period of time it’s a miracle. I’ll name the bigger ones that I’ve all written fic for! Even if I’ve never posted them haha

Right now I’m very firmly into Daomu Biji (dmbj). It feels like it’s both got a crap ton of content and yet barely anything at all haha. Maybe because the English fandom is so small. But at least there are a bunch of dramas and books!!! I really, really, really adore dmbj so much!! And a large part of that is the fandom!!! It's been a really cool and unique experience! Everyone in it is truly so kind and wonderful, and I’ve made some really incredible friends because of it (looking at you vish!! ❤). I’ve got a bunch of wips, but I’ve only posted two fics for dmbj!

Before this I was very into Guardian and mdzs. MDZS was my first foray into cdramas and Guardian’s Zhu Yilong really suckered me into watching more haha I also have fics for both these fandoms!

My very first fandoms were Fullmetal Alchemist, D. Gray-Man and Naruto. My very old ffnet account has fics for these and I’ve got a bunch of newer wips on my tablet. Then Star Trek, Twilight, BBC Merlin, Sherlock, Death Note, Harry Potter, How to Train Your Dragon, Battlestar Galactica, Avatar the Last Airbender and Marvel were a few of my main ones in high school. Plus a bunch of anime (like Fruits Basket! and Kuroshitsuji and Natsume Yuujinchou). 

Then college hit and I renewed my childhood love of Tolkien (mainly lotr and the Hobbit), and Star Wars. I also found Teen Wolf! Then after college it was Stranger Things. 

I find myself in a cycle of mild fondness and complete obsession with these fandoms haha I go back to Star Wars at least once a year!! Then I’m in the gffa hole for a few months. Marvel also reoccurs, depending on how interested I am in new content! Star Trek I always always always go back to. TOS is my comfort show and it will never fade from my heart ❤

But for now I’m stuck in cdrama hell and I love it

Tropes: 

Time travel, found family, whump+hurt/comfort, fairytale-like elements, resurrective immortality (thanks to a “Nine Lives” Hobbit fic), CROSSOVERS

I’m a slut for all these things so they often worm their way into my plots haha

I also just- love weird premises. I think that’s the anime influencing me haha

Fic I spent most time on: 

My series he leaves sand and stardust in my wake (main fic is hurricane on the edge of oblivion), I have...spent five years on now. I have done so much research for this fic it’s insane. 

The premise is force ghost!Obi-Wan getting shunted back into his tiny 10 year old self. I incorporate a shit ton of legends and I try to stay as canon as possible. I basically want this au to feel like it’s 1000% plausible while still getting all my gay shit. It’s chock full of whump, redemption, found family, minor characters turning into major characters, and I’ve got slavery uprising on the mind, too. It’s just- everything I could ever want to explore in the Star Wars universe basically. 

It’s my first big project. I started doodling and scribbling ideas in the margins of my notebook in my Scottish History class. I adore it so so so much. But, because of my hyperfixation and fleeting intense obsession with things it makes it- really difficult to consistently update. I leave it for months at a time and I am constantly guilt-ridden about it. Because it’s my baby and I have a lot of wonderful readers. I fear I’ll never be able to finish it. Especially since I’ve written so much and I’m still only in the beginning of it. ( ; A ; )

Also, I’ve spent so much time with Xanatos, Feemor and Bruck that they just feel like mine now. I can’t read any fics that involve them, it’s too strange. Which is a damn shame because I love them so much haha OH ALSO!! I think it’s the first really big fic to include those three?? So I’m very proud about that haha (I’ve had so many ppl comment about how they actually Give A Shit about these three and are Invested bc of me haha)

Favorite fic(s) you’ve written: 

hurricane on the edge of oblivion (with nowhere to go) (Star Wars)

My long-term passion project. My love-letter to Star Wars, I suppose. Reading it now I feel like a lot of it is clunky or long-winded, but I think it really shows the foundation of my writing today :) Main characters are Obi-Wan, Xanatos Du Crion, Qui-Gon Jinn, Bruck Chun and Feemor. Eventually we’ll get to Maul, Savage, Feral, Shmi Skywalker, (more!) Ahsoka, Anakin and a shit ton of clones ❤

things we hunger for (Guardian)

My Ye Zun self-indulgent fic. It’s a time travel amnesia Weilanzun! Honestly has some of my fav writing I’ve ever done. It’s so soft and really indulges in the hurt/comfort. It gives Ye Zun the friends and family I think he deserves. Also, he gets to grow into a (mostly!) functional person and I adore him.

the beast that slumbers within your soul (mdzs)

Jiang Cheng centric fic!! I feel like all my favourite fics I’ve written are love letters haha. This is one def my love letter to Jiang Cheng. This fic possessed me for two whole days. I wrote 16k in almost one sitting. I went to sleep at 6 in the morning bc I couldn’t stop writing. And when I drifted off I kept thinking of new ideas so I’d whip out my phone and write down lines and notes. I- have never ever ever felt that way about anything. It was- insane. It felt insane. It was so amazing. I’m still riding the memory of that high.

 Basically Jiang Cheng actually finds Baoshan Sanren and it turns out she’s a fox demon and Jiang Cheng is descended from wolves. It’s- okay I said the fic above this had my favourite writing?? That was a lie. This has my favourite writing I’ve ever done. It’s unfinished bc I am in dmbj hell but I am still excited about the next chapter which features Wei Wuxian’s pov!!

the whispers of spirits (dmbj)

My current passion project. In a way it kinda feels similar to hurricane? Bc multiple povs, incorporating different aspects of canon (we’ll get there!! I promise!), shit ton of research, etc. etc. I really really really love it for so many reasons. I’m basically taking all the things I was unsatisfied with in Reboot and Sha Hai and running with it. Found family and whump galore! It’s also a love letter to the women of dmbj who really deserve so so so much better.

Honourable mention to:

One Day (you’ll have given more of yourself than is meant to be taken) (Marvel)

This fic also kinda possessed me. I just- couldn’t get rid of the idea of a trans!Thor. And I mean a mtf Thor! It’s just? So many people look at Thor and go “that’s a Real Man.” Full stop. They never think there could be anything more, and it really really really bothered me. So I wrote out my feelings. I’m not trans. I don’t have that experience at all. I’ve had issues and confusion about my gender but nothing like this. I just wanted to do justice to this idea of Thor in my head. And I still feel a bit nervous having posted it. But I've gotten so many comments from people who really connected with what I’ve written? So I’m very very thankful I wrote it and it has a very special place in my heart. It’s a very cathartic fic.

Fic I spent least time on: 

Probably we rise (Star Wars) and I think it shows haha. I wrote it in response to Dave Filoni posting a drawing of Ahsoka and Gandalf telling her “People thought I was dead, too, and look how that turned out...” So I incorporated Ahsoka (and Din and Grogu and Ezra!!!) into the ending of Rise of Skywalker, kinda explaining how I think they could all still be alive. :)

Longest fic: 

hurricane is my longest fic (159k) but I’m kinda worried whispers will eclipse that.....

Shortest fic: 

Of my posted ones it’s The Five Moments it Took Tony and Scott to Admit They Were Best Friends (and the first time they ever did), currently clocks at 1.6k. It’s unfinished tho so maybe that doesn’t count.... otherwise it’s we rise which is completed and 2k.

Most hits/kudos/comments/bookmarks: 

hurricane overall has the most of all these. Though I don’t think hits counts as much bc it’s multi-chapter. If you discount multi-chapter stuff, most hits goes to my obikin smutfic Homecoming, bc people are horny af haha

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: 

If I had energy I’d like to rewrite the beginning of hurricane bc it feels so so wordy. I’d want to expand on One Day bc I really would like to write a whole series with trans!Thor. And like- I’d really like the focus to finish any of my WIPs.

Share a bit of a WIP: I really wanna share my Guardian/dmbj crossover that I started back in August. Bc I adore the idea of wu xie&shen wei&ye zun triplets! Plus time travel!!! I dunno if I’ll ever finish it tho ( ; A ; ) It just feels like a lot to deal with right now.

This scene takes place during the Mountain Awl arc. Guardian crew and desperado fam run across each other at the village! Wu Xie has recently found out that he’s adopted and he’s searching for answers in the area Sanshu originally found amnesiac!toddler!Wu Xie in :) Gonna pull two snippets bc I’m v excited and this might be the only time anyone else sees this fic haha:

“Oh?” Pangzi focuses on Yunlan now, lips twisting. “You think I’ve ‘got the wrong guy,’ huh?” He laughs, but it’s not a nice sound. “That’s rich! Are you that cocky or are you just stupid?”

Bristling, Yunlan drops his hands and scowls. “Excuse me?”

“Sir,” Shen Wei tries. “I think—”

Pangzi’s eyes snap back to Shen Wei, sharp and blazing. “How dare you fucking steal his face!”

What?

Automatically, Zhao Yunlan turns to Shen Wei, but the professor looks just as shell-shocked as Zhao Yunlan feels which- is seriously something. Since everything about Shen Wei is so carefully controlled, kept to the minimum. Except for those delightful little smiles that bloom across his lovely face, or the startled little bursts of laughter that fall from his lips. Or even when anger and frustration spark across his features, cracking his calm veneer open enough that he can see a glimmer of what lies beneath, the fire in those eyes. Zhao Yunlan delights in those moments, makes a game of making Shen Wei’s control slip.

He tells himself it’s nothing more than a game. Nothing more than trying to find out what makes Shen Wei tick.

Zhao Yunlan’s always been very bad at lying to himself. Or very good. Depending on who you’re asking.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Yunlan splutters.

But before anyone can say anything else, a very familiar voice calls:

“Pangzi? What’s wrong?”

Yunlan can feel Shen Wei stiffen, and Yunlan himself is pulled to that voice like a planet in orbit, like the inevitable plummet to the ground.

Another shadow wavers in the doorway before it steps out onto the dirt. Light illuminates shaggy hair, limning it gold, sharply casting everything else in shadow. But as the figure nears, the contrast softens until Yunlan can see the newcomer’s face properly and- and—

“Wu Xie!” Pangzi growls. “We’ve got ourselves an impostor!”

The man wearing Shen Wei’s face steps up to them, brows furrowed and mouth pulled down into a sharp frown. He glances between them, eyes landing on Shen Wei. His scowl deepens. He opens his mouth, but then—

“Wu Xie?” Shen Wei breathes, all trembly and lost and hopeless.

Heart in his throat, Yunlan turns to Shen Wei again. Turns and flinches at that stricken look upon Shen Wei’s pale pinched face.

“A-Xie?” Shen Wei chokes. “Didi?”

and

Pangzi snorts. “Professor?”

“I-it’s true!”

Startled Yunlan swings his attention over to Jiajia who clenches her backpack to her chest, face screwed up in admirable determination. “P-professor Shen took me and Xiao Quan on a field trip to investigate an archeological site around here!”

“Oh?” Wu Xie drawls all slow and amused. “Well, what a coincidence. We’re archeologists, too.”

“With guns?” Yunlan bites out.

Wu Xie raises a brow, grin full of teeth. “Well, you can never be too prepared.”

“Right,” Yunlan drawls right back. “Are you a professor, too, then? You come here with your students?”

Wu Xie outright grins. “You could say that, I suppose.”

Out of the corner of his eye, one of the men rolls his eyes. He’s the one with sharp features, glasses and looped earbuds. Does he think it’s appropriate to listen to music at a time like this? Yunlan admires the man’s gall.

aahhhh vish thanks so much again for tagging me!! This was so fun to relive my fic memories!! I’m gonna tag @alwaysaslutforshakespeare @jockvillagersonly @tehfanglyfish @lichelleme @undyingsunshine @humanlighthouse  @thewindsofsong I’m curious about your guys’ writing and fandom journey!! As always, no pressure to actually complete this!! I just thought it was fun ❤

Wow if you read all of this I am very humbled and impressed, thank you!!

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

[letbenfuck2021]

lets play a game! tag someone (or someones) and we'll add snippets of in-progress fanworks (fic, art, edits, etc.) below

tagging: @fiveyaaas @rappaccini @maradeur (and anyone else who wants to join and no pressure if you don't want to!!!

I'm finishing up my grad degree (my oral defense is tomorrow ahahah so I'm looking through my fic folder instead of preparing lol) and its given me time to look over all the fic that I haven't finished and haven't gotten around to posting. sometimes life gets in the way of the actual important stuff, writing fanfic ehehehehe.

so below I have a fic that I never got around to finishing/posting. there's no explicit stuff in it but it is a/b/o so you have been warned.

title: a kind of emptiness tags: dubcon, a/b/o, explicit (tho not this snippet), dunno what else I would put really ahahha summary: It's been three years since Vanya's seen or heard from her brother, Five, but she's been following him in the news from afar. After a sudden meeting with her sister, Vanya takes a trip down memory lane, trying to figure out where it all went wrong.

"You want to ask,” Allison says, while eyeing her sister closely from across the table. “About him, I mean."

Vanya startles, her flustered gaze snapping to her sister’s face but she finds Allison as impassive as ever. Seeing her sister’s cool, practiced poker face only made Vanya flush further in embarrassment at her lack of composure. It isn’t unusual to feel at a disadvantage when in conversation with Allison Hargreeves. The truth of the matter is that you usually are. She sits austere in the busy cafe and lifts the mug in front of her with such easy grace, that it seems as though Allison were the one who just spent the last four years in Paris, visiting this exact cafe nearly everyday and that Vanya is the foreigner sticking out like a sore thumb.

"It's written all over your face, Vanya. Has been since I got here. So just ask already,” she continues as calmly as though she had asked about the weather.

Vanya watches as her sister’s eyes briefly dart about the cramped space. It’s a habit that any of her siblings would display. Hargreeves are taught to always seek the upper hand, always check for weak spots both in their opponent and themselves. wonders if she had only imagined her sister's words. But a quick, accusatory glare from Allison over the lip of her coffee cup tells Vanya that she had heard correctly.

Previously, the two women had been sitting in a little cafe that Vanya had wanly suggested when Allison had called her out of the blue for no more than fifteen minutes. And despite not having seen one another in over four years, they had already run out of things to say. So, for another ten minutes, Allison and Vanya engaged in the age-old Hargreeves tradition of awkward silence shared around a table. It isn't until Allison's sudden mention of the very subject that had been on Vanya's mind since her sister had contacted her out of the blue.

"It's written all over your face, Vanya. Has been since I got here. So just ask already."

Vanya's gaze flickers to her half-finished bowl of cafe au lait. It's her second one. She'd finished her first while waiting for her sister to arrive and had slowly worked on the second throughout their stilted conversation. At the mention of their brother, Vanya's stomach turns and she suddenly regrets downing all that coffee. She finds the courage to look back up at her sister through her eyelashes before asking.

"H-how is Fi-"

But before she can even get the question out, Allison clicks her tongue loudly against the roof of her mouth. The sound and the look of disappointment and what might have even been disgust on Allison's causes Vanya's mouth to run dry.

The sudden switch from tentative awkwardness to aggression

And suddenly, Vanya feels like a child again. It's almost comfortable in it's familiarity, the sudden shame that washes over her. Her jaw snaps closed and she swallows the last syllable of her brother's name like a dry pill and drops her eyes back to her nearly-frigid coffee.

"I knew it. God, Vanya. Even after all this time you're still Five's little beta."

Five's little beta.

She hadn't been called that in years and yet it felt more familiar hearing it from her sister's mouth than her own name. Vanya winced when Allison let loose a frustrated huff.

"How do you think he is?"

Vanya has no idea. She almost tells her sister as much but thinks better of it. If smell was anything to go by, her sister was on blockers but Allison was still an Alpha through and through and Vanya knew, better than most, not to test an Alpha's temper.

It had been exactly three years, nine months, and two days since she had last had contact with her brother.

[just-another-author-i-guess]

The unholy

Warnings: she/her pronounced reader, mentions of blood and biting, some making out, but honestly there’s not much, I didn’t edit it through tho but what did you really expect

Pairing: bts ot7 x reader, nun! reader, princess! reader, vampire! Jin x reader, hybrid! Namjoon x reader, hybrid! Yoongi x reader, vampire! Hoseok x reader, vampire! Jimin x reader, hybrid! Taehyung x reader, hybrid! Jungkook x reader

Parts: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 -

Author’s note: so it’s currently really late and I’m just now finishing this, which I should have done yesterday but oh well. Anyways, since it’s so late and I’m so damn tired there’s probably a lot of mistakes and stuff and I’m really sorry, but it’s too late to edit it through and I’m sooo tired, and I have school tomorrow T.T damn this chapter just sucks. Anyways I hope you’ll still enjoy it, I would love to know if you did enjoy it!

(Updates; every Sunday!)

Summary:

The king and queen, your mother and father, rules the southern kingdom. The eastern and the western are ruled by kings and queens alike, but the northern are ruled by the most unholy of creatures. Or so you've been told.

Every citizen in the three kingdoms, have been warned about the creatures of the north, and it is with good reason they're all terrified. All your life, your parents have tried to keep the knowledge of the northern creatures from you, but that just made you more curious. Everyday, you would sneak down to the castle library, and read everything you could about the north, wanting to know the secret behind the unholy land.

That of course didn't go well with your parents, and when they found out they decided to send you to the most holy of places, to forget about everything you've read. One of the biggest church organizations in the south agreed to take you in, to rehabilitate you and learn you that you should never question such things as the northern creatures.

By day, you follow the strict prioress around as she lectures you about the holy and the unholy, and by night, you have to go on patrol alone through the church as a punishment for reading about the unholy. But one night, everything changes, when you find the prioress dead, with bite marks all over her body. Of course, you have read about this, and you know exactly what killed her.

But what happens when that exact creature you've read about, shows up right in front of you?

Taglist:

(Please let me know if you want to be tagged!)

@joonsroses @boononx @i-am-supermerwholoked221b @karissassirak @bvblackarmy @queenbianca-7 @someslightobsessions

It wasn’t the first time, you woke up in strange new surroundings, and it surely wouldn’t be the last, but this time it was neither the bathroom nor Seokjin’s bedroom, and you weren’t alone.

Slowly, you blinked your eyes open, definitely not missing the way your head instantly began to pound, as your eyes searched the foreign room.

Your eyes widened, and with a slight gasp and a startled expression, you met the scarlet eyes, of a girl dressed in a similar dress as yours, sitting on your bed and smiling down at you, pearly white fangs on display.

“Oh thank god!”

She exclaimed, and looked like she could jump on you and hug you at any moment, but she didn’t, she just kept smiling, and you were sure that her mouth would be aching by the time she stopped.

“Seokjin would just about have murdered Jeongguk, if you didnt wake up,”

She continued, never even giving the fact that you had no idea who she was a thought, as she continued to ramble on about Seokjin’s distress.

Carefully and with stiff limbs, you started to move up from under the covers, slowly sitting up and feeling you sore body as the girl looked at you with careful eyes.

Her smile was hypnotizing, your eyes seemed to be permanently glued to her pearly white fangs, as her mouth remained in the same wide smile.

Suddenly, a thought seemed to cross her mind, and her smile faded, but the gleam in her eyes remained the same, as she lowered the voice, and leaned closer into you, the smell of metal following her every breath.

“Is it true that Seokjin fed from you?”

The words were carefully punctuated, and just as quick as she leaned in did she pull away, leaving you with a rather confused expression.

“S-sorry?”

Your voice was hoarse, and your throat felt raw as you spoke, as if you hadn’t had water in days.

“You know, there’s a rumor going around, and it’s a great honor to have Seokjin drink from you, and even having fed from him,”

She continued, and your mind began to spin as you tried your best to remember, you tried so hard, but your memory was like a static tv. You furrowed your eyes brows, as the pounding behind your skull got worse, quick flashes of Jeongguk’s fangs flashed before your mind and you started to wonder if your whole interaction with Jeongguk actually happened.

“I-I can’t remember,”

You stuttered, as the intense pounding kept building up, making it hard to focus on the girls shiny fangs, as you shut your eyes hard and pressed your palms against your forehead, helplessly.

“But that’s what everyone is saying, that you’re Seokjin’s feeder, and he said himself that he gave you blood to keep you alive-“

“Aera, enough.”

Suddenly, the door was opened, almost violently, and Seokjin’s voice cut through the air like sharp knife, trying to cut into the girl, Aera as well.

Shocked almost, her eyes widened, and she stood up, head held low as she turned around to face Seokjin.

“I-I’m sorry your highness-“

She started, but only received a half threatening growl from Seokjin in response.

“Continue your chores for now, but don’t ever come in here unless you’re told to, understood?”

Seokjins voice was dripping with authority, the same voice he used to scold Taehyung, Hoseok and Jeongguk prior, and if it hadn’t been for the blinding headache a shiver would have run down your spine.

Aera merely whimpered in response, before scurrying out of the room, her quick footsteps could be heard down the hall long after she was gone.

“Drink some water,”

Suddenly, Seokjin was sitting were Aera had been sitting seconds ago, holding out a glass filled with icy water towards you, and with shaky hands you accepted, quickly gulping down the water like your life depended on it.

Slowly, the headache seemed to calm itself, and your brain was now only numbly bumping against your skull, easier to ignore.

Carefully you handed Seokjin the glass, arm tiredly lifting itself off the bed and reaching out to Seokjin.

“What happened?”

You demanded, as soon as the glass was set back on the table, searching Seokjin’s brilliant eyes for answers, but receiving nothing.

“What did Aera ask you?”

He shot back, and you shook your head, more careful than you normally would, as your eyes continued to search Seokjin’s.

“You didn’t answer my question, what happened with Jeongguk?”

You continued, not intending to give up. After coming here, you had gotten absolutely no answers from no one, and you were getting fed up.

Seokjin’s eyes seemed to harden, when you mentioned Jeongguk’s name and quick memories of the interaction with Jeongguk began to flash before you.

You remember how incredibly nice it felt, when you felt asleep against his chest, and how he didn’t feel cold and unwelcoming, unlike Seokjin and, what was the other boy called, Yoongi.

Both their eyes were cold and deep red, but Jeongguk’s was so much more human like, they were big, and brown and welcoming. They were everything Seokjin wasn’t, and you had to fight the shiver that went through you, when Seokjin leaned closer and you could feel the coolness emitting off of him.

Seokjin sighed, he sounded just as tired as he always did when you pried, and he looked the part too. He looked like he hadn’t fed in days; he looked like Jeongguk had before he fed on you.

Suddenly, the same strange sensation went through you. You wanted, no you needed to let Seokjin feed on you, you needed to feel his fangs sink into your skin and you needed to see how his cheeks would round and turn a more pinkish color than the pale white they were now.

“S-Seokjin, are you hungry?”

The question itself was an intruder in your mouth, but it escaped before you could even react, making Seokjin look at you with a shocked, almost worried expression.

“If you’re hungry, you should feed,”

You continued, the words escaping your lips without your consent, as you absentmindedly began to lift you tired arm, presenting your wrist to him, already with two, almost faded bike marks on it from Taehyung.

“(y/n), stop,”

Seokjin started, his eyes betraying him, as they followed the multiple bitemarks visible on you, and the tip of his pink tongue, coming out to wet his lips, fangs gently starting to protrude his botttom lip.

“You look hungry,”

You hummed, the idea of Seokjin sinking his fangs into your wrist, making you blood almost boil over with excitement and your body began feeling warm and fuzzy just at the thought, a weird contrast to Seokjin’s ice cold one.

“You lost a lot of blood already bunny,”

Despite his words, slender fingers began to gently curl around your wrist, making goosebumps appear as his cold digits met your skin.

Your eyes seemed lost in each other’s, as Seokjin gently brought your wrist to his mouth, furrowing his brows as the smell of blood started to take a hold of him, but still fighting against it with the little self control he had left.

Slowly, his tongue game out to taste your salty skin, and instantly a shudder ran through him, just at the thought of tasting your blood once more.

Truth be told, you were right; Seokjin was hungry. He hadn’t fed since the night in the church, afraid to take too much, and drain you too soon, but his brothers sure didn’t care for his worry. He had endured watching both Hoseok, Taehyung and Jeongguk drink from you, without ever having a taste himself, and he was getting fed up.

He brought you here to be his feeder, not theirs, his.

The thought made Seokjin growl against your skin, almost animalistic, as his fangs began to slightly poke at your wrist, without cutting into the skin.

His brothers weren’t supposed to drink from you, they should be drinking animal blood he gave them, the only exceptions being himself, Jeongguk and Yoongi.

The thought made him slightly retreat his fangs, it wouldn’t be safe for any of you if he drank from you now, you needed to have your bloodlevels up, and he should be in his right mindset, not just doing it out of raw jealousy.

“Bunny I can’t, it’s not safe,”

He let your wrist go, mourning the loss of the delicious smell emitting from you, as he watched your arm limply fall down on the sheets.

“But Jeongguk could-“

You started, feeling the unbearable loss when Seokjin let go, still desperate to see his cheeks full and well fed.

“Jeongguk doesn’t care about safety,”

Seokjin cut you off, voice sharp as his still protruding fangs, and you instantly quiet down, as he let out a long sigh.

“Besides, you don’t have to feed me, bunny, I’ll come to you when I need it,”

He spoke again, voice turning softer, as he looked at you with soft, caring eyes, fangs slowly disappearing.

“Jeongguk’s And Taehyung’s venom must still be messing with you, it’s never a good idea to combine it,”

Seokjin sighed, looking at you with worry in his eyes, as you let the past few days slowly weigh down on you. Some parts of your memory were still fuzzy, but slowly you were starting to vividly remember the way Hoseok and Taehyung had fed on you in the kitchen, and the way Jeongguk had growled when they had tried to pull him away from you.

You lightly cocked your head to the side, not completely getting what he was hinting at, but remembering him mentioning it when you were inside the lab room with Jeongguk.

“Don’t worry too much about it,”

He spoke again, voice a little more strained this time, and you noticed once again how tired he actually looked, you wanted nothing more than to offer him a space on the bed, cuddling up to him and sleeping until all your troubles went away, but before you could even open your mouth he spoke again.

“Namjoon will come in a bit, the two of you will go to the library so he can tell you a bit more about the different venoms,”

Seokjin sounded sounded so hollow, just as hollow as he looked, when he got up from the bed, making the wood under his feet slightly creek, and before you could even blink, he was long gone down the hall, and you were left all to yourself, to wonder who exactly Namjoon was.

Later that day, a tall boy, definitely taller than Seokjin and the rest, with a friendly smile and dimples, contrasting his pitch black hair and pale skin, knocked on your door.

“I’m Namjoon, Seokjin sent me to get you,”

He shortly explained, giving you another friendly smile, again making a big contrast to his icy cold skin.

You nodded once, and for up to follow him out the door, as you took in his attire from behind. He was dressed like Seokjin and the others, the only way you could describe it was prince-like.

He placed a protective hand on the small of your back, like Yoongi had done, but without pushing you, as he began to lead you to the library.

Walking down the many hallways, the castle was not nearly as empty as it had been the other multiple times you had been out in the halls. Now, the two of you would meet a servant almost at every corner, cleaning or doing other chores, and you couldn’t help but wonder if there were anyone down in the kitchens as well.

With the many new surroundings and people to look at, the walk didn’t seem to take long at all, and before you knew it, Namjoon had led you into a big, magnificent library, with books from all over the world.

He seemed pretty proud of the collection himself, as he went into explain about it, utterly mesmerized by the way your eyes would light up in excitement.

He let you to a group of comfortable looking, red chairs in a more secluded area of the library, and he gently patted one, indicating you to sit down.

“Here, Seokjin told me to give you this,”

Namjoon spoke, as he stood with his back to you, picking out books from the shelves. Suddenly he stopped, eyes focusing on a big, heavy book standing a little behind the others, and without the slightest struggle, did he pull it out and present it to you on the table.

‘The vampire anatomy’

Was written on it with big, bold, golden letters, and instantly your hands reached out to gently brush over the old looking book, afraid it might turn to dust in your grasp.

“You’ll need to know about us, if you’re going to stay here,”

Namjoon reasoned, taking a seat in a chair besides your, opening the book with less careful fingers, landing on a chapter about different venoms stored in a vampires fangs.

“Here, Seokjin wanted you to read this,”

You looked from the handwritten, cursive letters, to Namjoon with a curious expression, question after question just at the tip of your tongue.

“Seokjin mentioned something about Jeongguk and Taehyung’s venoms,”

You said absentmindedly, but Namjoon’s ears seemed to perk up, brilliant dark red orbs, searching yours.

“That would be because they’re fusing, when you’ve been bitten by different vampires in a small span of time, their venom’s will fuse and sometimes that can be very dangerous,”

He went onto explain, and you cocked your head.

“What about Hoseok then? Why didn’t he say anything about him?”

The questions came stumbling out of your mouth, but Namjoon didn’t seem to mind, happily lecturing you on what you needed to know.

“That’s because Hoseok’s venom is harmless, if you didn’t know about it’s existence it would be as if it was never even there, Taehyung and Jeongguk on the other hand both has dangerous venoms, and because they bit you in that short timespan they’re clashing, that is probably why you fainted when Jeongguk bit you,”

You hummed along, indicating you were listening, as you focused on Namjoon’s kind eyes, and the way his face lit up in a most endearing way when he was talking.

One thought was still bugging your mind though, you still couldn’t let go what the maid, Aera had said to your earlier.

It’s a great honor to have Seokjin bite you.

“Did Seokjin bite me while I was unconscious?”

The question slipped out of your mouth, surprising both yourself and Namjoon.

“Who told you that?”

His eyes narrowed slightly, and you sank the lump in your throat, slowly backing a little way when you realized you had leaned so much to the side that your head was practically leaning on Namjoon’s shoulder.

“A-a maid,”

You stuttered, and Namjoon just shook his head with a tired expression.

“Yes, yes Seokjin bit you, he didn’t feed off you though, he only bit you to balance out the fusion of Jeongguk and Taehyung’s venoms, and he also had to let you feed on him, but only to balance out your bloodlevels, Jeongguk almost killed you,”

Your eyes brows furrowed more with every new information, and you closed your eyes trying to grasp everything. Namjoon gently smiled at your confused expression, and handed the book back to you.

“Please read yourself,”

Carefully your hands grasped the book, lightly brushing Namjoon’s cold ones, and you placed the book in your lap.

-

Just half an hour into reading, did your mind start to get tired and the words you read were starting to make no sense.

From time to time, you would spare glances at Namjoon as he was deeply immersed in his own book, too immersed to really care about your boredroom, as you took in his sideprofile.

He was beautiful, there was no denying it, with his pitch black hair, slightly dipping down into his eyes, causing him to brush it away every few minutes, and his deep red, mesmerizing eyes as they scanned the book he was reading, along with his otherworldly proportions.

“Can I help you?”

A look, a little too cocky for his own good, adorned his features, and you realized in embarrassment that you had been caught, quickly looking up to meet his kind eyes, a subtle blush covering your face and ears.

“I-I’m sorry,”

You stuttered, as you began to realize just how close you were to him, noses almost brushing, when you turned your head.

Namjoon chuckled, voice noticeably lowering, making all sorts of emotions stir inside you. Long forgotten was the book, and whatever venom you were reading about, Namjoon being the only thing currently on your mind.

“No worries, bunny,”

He tilted his head a little, giving you a way too obvious invitation to his softlooking lips, and you couldn’t bring yourself to deny, slowly leaning forward again, lips carefully coliding.

Instantly, you sighed into the kiss, as his large hand came up to cup your rounded cheek, deepening the kiss, as you continued leaning forward, till you were almost halfway into his chair.

He felt like fire and ice, the kiss was soft and smooth, making your head spin, warm sensations shooting straight to your core as you felt his fangs slightly protruding, carefully poking at your bottom lip.

Testing out the waters, the tip of his pink tongue began to poke your bottom lip as well, carefully sliding into your mouth, dancing around your own tongue.

He tasted like metal and a certain sweetness that belonged to him, but you wouldn’t have it any other way, letting his tongue roam your mouth freely.

You did however need air, and sooner than you wanted to, you parted from him, a string of salvia connecting the both of you, making it clear how messy your kiss had actually been, and Namjoon looked at you with blown out pupils, fangs now fully on display for you and you felt your skin tingle.

He swallowed, hard.

“Can-can I have a taste?”

Without hesitation, you nodded, already offering him your wrist, like you did with Seokjin.

Instantly, his long fingers curlers around you, ice cold digits making contact with overheated skin, again feeling the wonderful feeling of fire and ice colliding.

First, his soft tongue came out to lap at your salty skin, followed by his nose, as he gently nosed around the area he intended to bite. He sucked and playfully nibbled at your skin, before finally biting down, sinking his teeth into the area he had already marked with a couple of hickies.

Your breathy moan escaped out into the empty library, as you felt his fangs sink in, instantly drawing moans and groans from him as well, as he slowly began to gulp down your sweet nectar.

You watched with hazy eyes as he drank, amazed by the way his Adam’s apple would bop up and down every time he sank another mouthful.

He was viciously licking at your bite marks the same time he was sucking, making sure no excess blood would go to waste as he fed.

Before long, he retreated with a satisfied groan, licking greedily around his mouth for any excess blood, two bite marks now permanently dug into your skin.

Your two wounds were still leaking the smallest amount of blood, but it was quickly fixed once Namjoon carefully dipped his thump into each wound, gathering whatever excess was left and greedily licking his fingers dry.

“Thank you, Bunny,”

He said, voice sincere as he gave your hand a squeeze, making your heart flutter when he didn’t let go, but only carefully intertwined your fingers, his big ones almost completely covering yours.

Much to your disappointment, Namjoon had to go sooner or later, leaving you to wonder around on your. You had just made your way out of the library, when a strange sensation filled you up.

It was the same feeling you had, before feeding Jeongguk, it was the same yearning to see his cheeks rounded and the happy satisfied look on his face, but he wasn’t there.

You could have sworn you were alone, except the couple servants walking around the castle cleaning and doing chores.

You felt restless, wondering around with the urge to find Jeongguk, but something told you that it was the last thing Seokjin would want you to.

You were torn, as you stood between the hallway that led to what you assumed must be a dining room, and the staircase you had talked earlier down to the kitchens.

“Bunny..”

A shiver ran down your spine, and you instantly turned around, upon hearing Jeongguk’s hoarse whisper in your ear, but nothing. The hallway couldn’t have been emptier.

“Bunny, I know you can hear me..”

Jeongguks voice continued, almost tauntingly as you stood there, confused in the hallway.

“Go to the dungeons, be a good girl and come down here for me, bunny,”

Your mind seemed to be made up, as you step by step, carefully began to walk down the stairs leading to the cellar and the kitchens.

“Come on Bunny, hurry up, I’m hungry..”

His raspy voice filled your senses, and instantly your only goal was to feed him, you wanted, no you needed to feed him, at the moment it was all your heart desired.

With your eagerness, it wasn’t long before you were stood before a big wooden door, looking like the kind of door you would never go through under any normal circumstances, but Jeongguk’s voice was egging you on.

“Come on Bunny, just open the door..”

He was persuasive, and you were sure you could feel him behind it, you knew he was there, and there was nothing you wanted more than to come to him, so it wasn’t long before your hands were gently placed against the wood of the door, and you pushed.

The door was heavy, but not so heavy you couldn’t open it, slowly you slid it open, revealing a dark room with multiple cages, all badly scratched up and clearly meant for something much stronger than a human.

Then you saw him, you gasped, and instantly forgot about the door as you ran to him, letting the door slam behind you.

“J-Jeongguk,”

The small amount of sunlight shining in through a tiny window, was just enough for you to see his state.

He was standing pressed up against the cage, looking paler than ever with hollowed our features and the most agonized look on his face.

Without even thinking, you instantly pressed yourself up against the cage as well, wanting to feel the small amount of warmth he emitted, and he instantly reached out through the bars, squeezing your hips trying to get your closer, closer, closer.

“Bunny..”

He rasped, looked down at you with dark eyes as he was towering over you.

“You found me,”

A cocky smirk crossed his features despite his state, and you instantly nodded, ready to do whatever he asked.

Gently, you let your fingers come up and hold his hollow cheeks, turning his face down so you could look into his brilliant eyes once more.

“What did they do to you?”

You whispered, worriedly stroking his cheekbones with your thumb, as you stood on your tiptoes, noses brushing as Jeongguk inhaled sharply.

“Nothing you cant fix,”

He reasoned, voice still raspy, boarding on a growl as he without warning leaned down and crashed his lips onto yours, almost violently, instantly igniting all sorts of flames in your lower stomach.