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dykedvonte · 3 months ago

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You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.

-Shrimp Anon

The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.

Get ready cause this is a yap session:

Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.

I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.

The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.

This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.

Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...

These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.

I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.

Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.

It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.

I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.

It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.

There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.

End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.

#i also think it is because mouthwashing is first and foremost a game about rape culture and the patriarchy especially in work spaces #regarding women and centering conversation around Curly a man rubs people wrong because it does overshadow that commentary #but it still mixes other topics into its initial theming and message on how abuse conditions you to accept certain things that are harmful #and how getting used to a culture/enviornment does not mean you are happy healthy or most importantly safe in it. I personally like to #explore those aspects where it mixes all the themes so we can discuss the ways you have to watch out for things because there is a differen #in the idea Curly enabled Jimmy just because they were bros and because he was an example of another man afraid to step out from what #is a still oppressive system that does try to punish those who act against it even if they fall in the category of those who would benefit #from it as Jimmy and PE 100% represent that sort of misogynistic system where men that would be “good” are altered until they follow line #in a way both on the personal and professional level as PE is the corporate lock out and Jimmy represents the social and its just the issue #that the discussion of it sounds like “in defense of men” when I am more so trying to discuss how it is much deeper than men being scared t #upset other men but complacency is rewarded by not becoming another person subjugated hence as all the moments Curly does try to do #something we can tie it back to how Jimmy reacts and a possible penality from PE where we now need to address the ways to combat those #two concepts so we dont get cases like Curly or Daisuke or Swansea where male avoidance of the issue is considered neutral or even good.#i think most of this boils down the perfect victim mentality to where if someone who underwent or is being abused is not a perfect example #or accpetible type than their abuse can not be considered a valid or substantial reason for effects on their behavior compounded with the #fact that Anya's abuse at the hands of Jimmy is a systematic issue that Curly is a part of even if unwillingly and was more physically #violating and topical cause sometimes i have to remind myself that all media is still critiqued through the lens of the culture it came out #in cause i do think about what if this game came out inlike 2014 like the conversations would be sooooooo different could you imagine it?#but back the before statement Curly isn't perfect but I feel like boiling it down if hes a good person or man is not the point of the game #but more so good people can still be part of the problem and the idea of condemning a person for one act creates a false sense of #rightouesness and justice that does not aid the victim and in fact aids the abusers in escaping blame for their mulitple behaviors as we se #how the men on the ship tend to blame Jimmy for just one act against them including himself while there is a plethora of things Anya is #concerned about with Jimmy #and its not that Curly just made one mistake with Jimmy but more so we consider his actions more damning because he didn't stop Jimmy #instead of focusing on the fact Jimmy did what he did regardless of Curly and the consequence because we already know he's bad n maladjuste #which is problem in the conversation where the individuals are blamed but the system and perputrator are overlooked in a sense of acceptiab #complacency as we know how they are and the lack of tangibility to personally affect them on a larger scale like I should just make a post #on like cutting out the face when it comes it confronting systems of oppression rather than tag talking but just ask me to clarify if #you want that like im jus trying to say we avoid talking about Jimmy and PE so much cause it is obvious what they do wrong that we make #the initial and inherent problem out to be one aspect someone in this case Curly does and the the constraints they use to force actions

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mblue-art · 1 year ago

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BAD SANSUARY // [29] glow for owl-bones's event !

pov u attacked the little error doll he gave u w/ sooo many smoochies and he felt all of it

alt. vers. under the cut !

#badsansuary #error!sans #error sans #mblue art #tsundere idiot. get loved on <3 #i like the idea of him having a dual-color blush but i'm still trying to figure out how to do that;; i think it ended up looking good :0 !#also!! love the idea of error making a (magic-infused?) plush doll of him for whatever reasons; i think its cute and thoughtful #have little guy w/ u by ur side whenever he's away so u can cuddle him whenever u miss him;#it being infused w/ magic (?) making it somehow possible for him to feel the hugs n kisses;#i think it's a nice way to be physically affectionate w/ him even when he still has haphephobia #(haha oh man im rlly kissy for badsansuary HSBJHSBDFJSDH wait 'till you see the next one 😎 bet u cant guess what's in it 😎😎 /silly)

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icewindandboringhorror · 3 months ago

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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~

(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)

#ootd #jfashion #fashion #fantasy fashion #mori kei #....like... adjacent... lol #no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character #finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited #the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it #im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media #enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the #outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on #Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort #of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like #'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc #The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well #I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere #somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over #tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days #I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol #But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent #been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years #but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you #find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter #where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it

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ganondoodle · 5 months ago

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the company i work for decided that its switching from the german formal "You"(Sie) to the informal "you" (Du) in all of our websites so now we have to scour the entire database to change it and i quite frankly hate that, not just bc the unecessary extra work but especially bc its such a weird and unecessary change

i bet its bc everything here is getting englishfied (both literally and culturally it feels like, when my new boss talks its half in english bc every second german word is just replaced by an english one despite there being perfectly fine words for it in german too, its so annoying) and bc they want to sound more personal in hopes of getting more clients bc 'company is your fwiend uwu!!', i know this here is the amercian tm site so you wouldnt understand really but i do not want to be greeted with 'du' by companies, no, thats too personal, you dont know me and im not giving you my data, stay away!!

i guess thats how i would describe it .. the formal you is like a polite distance, like someone you dont know staying outside your personal space, but when its the informal 'you' it feels invasive unless i told you you can call me that, and that goes double for companies

maybe its a small thing that doesnt seem important but i cant stand it, im just a little part time worker doing data work so i got no say in it but the companies founder also announced hes giving his post to his kids some time ago so ...... since then theres been alot of changes and new projects that solely aim to imitate whats popular and whats done by other companies, despite ours being one that is, or used to be, intentionally different, like, that was the POINT, but i guess chasing trends is just too appealing for CEOs

#ganondoodles talks #personal #rare personal rant #theres more and more changes that feel so weirdly forced #like man #i thought being different was the whole point #like climate and ethics are .. or were .. the core idea and now i guess its just fine to do whatever conventional companies are doing #yeah woohoo lets also do an app thing that forces people to sign up if they want reasonable prices!#smartphones the standard everwhere!#who needs anything physical if you can put it in an a phone so syphon off data directly out of people fingertips!! yea!!!#lets use AI pitcures bc we refuse to hire more graphic desingers and they are jsut so overworked uwu #climate? ethic? whats that #argh #sorry this needed to get out #recently had a stupid conversation with a coworker bc i asked them why we are okay with AI shit now when it goes against what this-#company was presumably founded on #and he was rly defensive and said welll we dont have time and its cheap and also maybe we should got WITH the time #like that last thing especially pissed me tf off #but i cant afford to lose this job #im starting to hate it more though so the dream of being able to stay like this might not be real #i cant get a job in this place that is as nice to my mental health so idk man #i wish i was good enough at merch and online stuff so i could live of that #but even trying to find out how taxes work on that stuff is a nightmare to me

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timetravelstudies · 2 months ago

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This got long and annoying so its under a cut now

The way in the fight w the museum director insul gets the same big injuries he has given trianon (so far), aand particularly the ones that T thinks back on often as specific sources of fear/humiliation/control (pepper sprayed in the eyes; kicked in the balls; choked with smth small and thin ((wire / car window)))….. im too tired to formulate a proper Thought abt this but the fact this all happens right in front of tjat one painting of dante & virgil in hell + insul and the director are in the exact same pose right as insul is about to die* is obviously so meant to evoke the idea of contrappasso….. at this stage trianon isnt “””strong””” enough (doesnt understand Insul enough and most importantly doesnt fully inhabit himself and his own strengths) to be able to pay back Insul’s violence (as he does later, though not in such a literal way anymore) so tje director will do for now🥰 bc they both need to descend into hell they both need to be subject to physical and psychological violence in order to strip down layers……. so its cool how the director serves that purpose for this phase 1 both in story for insul himself (who eats shit in this fight) and also as a sort of alert for the reader like make no mistake they are BOTH gonna get put thru the ringer. even the top has to wade through cocytus! or smth

#i wrote and erased so many asides and digressions bc they were nit relevant but #and obviously im not trying to imply this is a story about giving back what you got just as bad in order for Badass Self Improvement or #whatever to be achieved #like the n1 innovation of SW in so much Twink Chained To Radiator and Tortured literature #is that the resolution is not ‘he chains tje kidnapper back😈 he seemed so uke and frail bjt hes the strong one now!’#NOR ‘he learned to be happy chained to the radiator (or toilet ig) bc thats what he wanted deep down all along #and just needed a tough strong man to give it to him❤️’#but rather it creates this beautiful and perfectly calibrated solution where #the suffering that one party inflicts on the other becomes fundamental to the existence & identity of said party #and vice versa. ‘if i lost you i would lose part of what happened to me / insul reached back answering the same’#like by the ending insul does still absolutely have physical power over Trianon and he beats his ass black and blue regularly lol #but also Trianon has this gorilla grip on insul’s soul and sense of self and self worth; a sense that was kind of nonexistent or #dormant or repressed in Insul before and hed managed to be a ‘strong’ person without it bc thats the kind of thing you can live without in #Society if youre a strong able bodied masculine man. but trianon teases out the messed up abused little boy underneath and its like #NOT at all a beauty and the beast hes vulnerable around me ❤️ fantasy its actually kind of horrific.#like trianon does very much do some psychological torture yandere shit to insul …….. and by the end he COULD kill him and walk away but #he CHOOSES to do that……..#and ofc this is all deeply weilian not as in lines up perfectly with what she says necessarily but is very much in discourse with her ideas #anyway I’ve typed so fucking much and for what….. -_-‘’ sorry #serious weakness

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perfectlyfrosty · 1 year ago

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*throws this at u*

I think he’s funny

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defiledtomb · 1 month ago

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merry xmas! im drinking rum with aleks and listening to some really old techno. i blurted everything about ouro and all the tough things surrounding, and its future, and i got so excited i yelled and yodeled into the dead and dark forest. it's been such. such a good christmas. 2025 got nothing on me. we live we die and we fucking live again. hold my hand. giggle with me. have some zacapa. i love you

#!!!!!!!#when the end of year actually feels like the exhale of a breath you've held for years? i mean. this feels almost too good to be true #not to say im not struggling. but its hard to acknowledge that when everything feels like this. like hope. like homecoming.#a force majeure of optimism but still. grounded? real? yeah. real. more real than anything has felt in years and years #i wish you a lovely holiday whether you celebrate or not #and i wish. i wish upon a thousand stars and the black matter in between that i can be present for the creativity that is a physical thing #an anchor in my body. an anvil. something i just yearn to make real and place in someone elses hands #i have no idea if im doing it the right way! if it reads as i recieve it from the frail ends of my synapses. but god damn it if i wont try #ouro got me this far (even if you had to wait for the story- the story gave me what i needed to just. change what needed to be changed befo #e I tell it to you. i truly don't know how to explain it. im just shaking your shoulders and rattling trees and telling the cosmos thank yo #!!!!! augh difficult to explain can't do it #im smiling angelically at you while man o to is playing on the speakers. and there are stars in the sky and good company beside me.#hope tonight treats you kindly #happy holidays<3

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empyreansentinel · 1 month ago

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balex can hug exactly one (1) person in the universe but she chooses to roughhouse with him instead.

#borderlands #balex #angel borderlands #stealing balex and changing everything about him since the borderlands writers dont know how to fucking behave.#yes his hologram has bandages yes its lore important. tattoo isnt final though i need to find out what im doing there.#this is a part of a much bigger eden-6 series with the jakobs-hammerlock-kadam crew living together post BL3 but its taking me forever so #have this for now #bandit rewrite #tbh im not sure if i want to follow through with my balex ideas because of how he is in the game. this might be the first and last time #i ever mention him lmfao.#anyways angels phaseshift allows her to physically interact with his hologram as she works on getting him the right robot body to inhabit.#geniviv design maybe soon.#my art

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jacqcrisis · 1 month ago

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uuuuuuhhhhh I've thinking about a jayvik au in the same magic realism universe that Left Turn is set in. Two people doing probably illegal magic research for generally good reasons in a world with strict oversight in these matters by two separate governmental entities alongside class disparity, restrictive social/cultural norms, a shady underbelly... they fit well in that. Lower the stakes so they aren't working on anything too world changing but still enough where there's tension and navigating a system very much set up against them and obviously two like mind dudes who would have never met meeting and falling head over ass for each other.

And Viktor is easy to slot in there. There's a lower class of witches barred from a lot of their own society due to pissing off the Fae Powers That Be for one of several reasons. Viktor comes from one of these families, while also probably being First Born, which means his mother (or father if mom died in childbirth) refused to give him over to the Fae, which leads to exile. Womp womp. Grows up, probably falsifies information and identity to get into a university and eventually land a government internship. On top of that, magic is a physically debilitating force on the human body with a lot of witches who work in magical research developing lifelong disabilities from the toll their work has taken on their body. A fact that could exacerbate Viktor's pre-existing condition and also give him the drive for possibly wanting to delve into some more illegal research to fix or slow that.

and then you have Jayce, who I can't place just yet. Is he Regular Guy who isn't a witch but became aware of magic due to an event at a young age and has been seeking out how to harness that power? Or is he from a middle class witch family, looking to make something better for the world after his dad died of something preventable while also being subject to the usual expectations of a young man in witch society? I don't know. Torn on that. Thinking about it.

Anyways, similar story beats to canon at the start. Jayce gets caught doing something Probably Illegal, Viktor is on scene to check it out for Department of Not Letting Dudes Do Weird Magic Shit, figures out what exactly this handsome dumbass is up to, they strike a deal, Viktor vouches for Jayce and says actually, he wasn't doing anything wrong, Jayce avoids either exile or having his memory wiped, and now its crime boy time. Straight up crime boy nerd hours where illegal magic is done, detection is evaded, and love is fallen into.

Probably. Maybe. I just...need to write out my thoughts so far. Idea thats been in my head for a few days now.

#jacq writes #viktor helps jayce navigate the underground for materials and goods and dealing with devils who probably want in on this #and could do funding maybe #jayce is at that age where hes need to get fucking married and start popping out kids if he a witch #if hes not then oh BOY hes in over his head but that also makes that idea compelling #cause then if you take a have not to go meet a devil on their territory hes going to be appraised quite literally like a piece of meat.#which is fun for me #and then viktors got a whole host of problems considering he should not be around in the first place #on top of general physical issues #idk what their macguffin is quite yet that they are working towards but im having just a lot of thoughts #silco would definitely be a around and definitely not be A Human #i dunno. I DUNNO.#anyways #why cant i write normal shit #why cant i just do a coffee shop au #jayvik trouble

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