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dykedvonte · 4 days ago

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You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.

-Shrimp Anon

The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.

Get ready cause this is a yap session:

Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.

I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.

The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.

This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.

Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...

These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.

I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.

Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.

It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.

I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.

It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.

There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.

End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.

#i also think it is because mouthwashing is first and foremost a game about rape culture and the patriarchy especially in work spaces #regarding women and centering conversation around Curly a man rubs people wrong because it does overshadow that commentary #but it still mixes other topics into its initial theming and message on how abuse conditions you to accept certain things that are harmful #and how getting used to a culture/enviornment does not mean you are happy healthy or most importantly safe in it. I personally like to #explore those aspects where it mixes all the themes so we can discuss the ways you have to watch out for things because there is a differen #in the idea Curly enabled Jimmy just because they were bros and because he was an example of another man afraid to step out from what #is a still oppressive system that does try to punish those who act against it even if they fall in the category of those who would benefit #from it as Jimmy and PE 100% represent that sort of misogynistic system where men that would be “good” are altered until they follow line #in a way both on the personal and professional level as PE is the corporate lock out and Jimmy represents the social and its just the issue #that the discussion of it sounds like “in defense of men” when I am more so trying to discuss how it is much deeper than men being scared t #upset other men but complacency is rewarded by not becoming another person subjugated hence as all the moments Curly does try to do #something we can tie it back to how Jimmy reacts and a possible penality from PE where we now need to address the ways to combat those #two concepts so we dont get cases like Curly or Daisuke or Swansea where male avoidance of the issue is considered neutral or even good.#i think most of this boils down the perfect victim mentality to where if someone who underwent or is being abused is not a perfect example #or accpetible type than their abuse can not be considered a valid or substantial reason for effects on their behavior compounded with the #fact that Anya's abuse at the hands of Jimmy is a systematic issue that Curly is a part of even if unwillingly and was more physically #violating and topical cause sometimes i have to remind myself that all media is still critiqued through the lens of the culture it came out #in cause i do think about what if this game came out inlike 2014 like the conversations would be sooooooo different could you imagine it?#but back the before statement Curly isn't perfect but I feel like boiling it down if hes a good person or man is not the point of the game #but more so good people can still be part of the problem and the idea of condemning a person for one act creates a false sense of #rightouesness and justice that does not aid the victim and in fact aids the abusers in escaping blame for their mulitple behaviors as we se #how the men on the ship tend to blame Jimmy for just one act against them including himself while there is a plethora of things Anya is #concerned about with Jimmy #and its not that Curly just made one mistake with Jimmy but more so we consider his actions more damning because he didn't stop Jimmy #instead of focusing on the fact Jimmy did what he did regardless of Curly and the consequence because we already know he's bad n maladjuste #which is problem in the conversation where the individuals are blamed but the system and perputrator are overlooked in a sense of acceptiab #complacency as we know how they are and the lack of tangibility to personally affect them on a larger scale like I should just make a post #on like cutting out the face when it comes it confronting systems of oppression rather than tag talking but just ask me to clarify if #you want that like im jus trying to say we avoid talking about Jimmy and PE so much cause it is obvious what they do wrong that we make #the initial and inherent problem out to be one aspect someone in this case Curly does and the the constraints they use to force actions

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icewindandboringhorror · 25 days ago

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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~

(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)

#ootd #jfashion #fashion #fantasy fashion #mori kei #....like... adjacent... lol #no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character #finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited #the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it #im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media #enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the #outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on #Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort #of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like #'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc #The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well #I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere #somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over #tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days #I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol #But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent #been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years #but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you #find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter #where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it

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ganondoodle · 3 months ago

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the company i work for decided that its switching from the german formal "You"(Sie) to the informal "you" (Du) in all of our websites so now we have to scour the entire database to change it and i quite frankly hate that, not just bc the unecessary extra work but especially bc its such a weird and unecessary change

i bet its bc everything here is getting englishfied (both literally and culturally it feels like, when my new boss talks its half in english bc every second german word is just replaced by an english one despite there being perfectly fine words for it in german too, its so annoying) and bc they want to sound more personal in hopes of getting more clients bc 'company is your fwiend uwu!!', i know this here is the amercian tm site so you wouldnt understand really but i do not want to be greeted with 'du' by companies, no, thats too personal, you dont know me and im not giving you my data, stay away!!

i guess thats how i would describe it .. the formal you is like a polite distance, like someone you dont know staying outside your personal space, but when its the informal 'you' it feels invasive unless i told you you can call me that, and that goes double for companies

maybe its a small thing that doesnt seem important but i cant stand it, im just a little part time worker doing data work so i got no say in it but the companies founder also announced hes giving his post to his kids some time ago so ...... since then theres been alot of changes and new projects that solely aim to imitate whats popular and whats done by other companies, despite ours being one that is, or used to be, intentionally different, like, that was the POINT, but i guess chasing trends is just too appealing for CEOs

#ganondoodles talks #personal #rare personal rant #theres more and more changes that feel so weirdly forced #like man #i thought being different was the whole point #like climate and ethics are .. or were .. the core idea and now i guess its just fine to do whatever conventional companies are doing #yeah woohoo lets also do an app thing that forces people to sign up if they want reasonable prices!#smartphones the standard everwhere!#who needs anything physical if you can put it in an a phone so syphon off data directly out of people fingertips!! yea!!!#lets use AI pitcures bc we refuse to hire more graphic desingers and they are jsut so overworked uwu #climate? ethic? whats that #argh #sorry this needed to get out #recently had a stupid conversation with a coworker bc i asked them why we are okay with AI shit now when it goes against what this-#company was presumably founded on #and he was rly defensive and said welll we dont have time and its cheap and also maybe we should got WITH the time #like that last thing especially pissed me tf off #but i cant afford to lose this job #im starting to hate it more though so the dream of being able to stay like this might not be real #i cant get a job in this place that is as nice to my mental health so idk man #i wish i was good enough at merch and online stuff so i could live of that #but even trying to find out how taxes work on that stuff is a nightmare to me

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perfectlyfrosty · 9 months ago

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*throws this at u*

I think he’s funny

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lemongogo · 25 days ago

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oo u want 2 draw soo bad..

#i hate that my ability to draw is so conditional #its soo frustrating but i dont know how to break it. this has been the one thing thats never changed.ill never be free #times like rn i just do studies but its soo fking BORINGGG euuhh...#but if i try 2 draw something for funsies i just stare at the blank canvas. literally immobile. & u know how people r like just draw #something anyways. a line. something. and its like no i cant do that oi cant even do that u underestimate my freak #i want 2attack myself from the pov of someone else #i think im having the realization tht i will never be able to do art stuff frls and its driving me crazy i think.#like im actually sick and unwell frm the thought of it.my friend commissioned me and im ab 2 send the money back #after two weeks bc i cant do it im literally frozen dude.i want 2 cry and die and explode into a million pieces #wait im back to add more.idk if anyone feels the same way but its like. i know its entirely a Me issue its a mental block issue #theres something thats not connecting in my head but its like.why is it so easy for everyone else ykwim...and thats a lie too right #like everyone else struggles w art and its not.it cant exist Without you struggling and practicing hard and trusting yourself #but in my brain im just convinced that like.i cant do this i cant do this like everyone else can do it like second nature and it freaks me #tf out #but also its the one thing i want to do more than anything else in my life and so like if i cant do it i dont know what to do.ughh.#not me freaking the fuck out rn lawl.lols.even #and on top of it i feel like i cant express myself well and i think my friend. < SOOO awesome and well meaning and NICE and legitimately #pushing me to try and believe that i can do this stuff but i feel like they wont understand the sort of like.mental block im struggling wit #like its less that i hate my art or something i dont its more like.i just feel soo physically restrained and incapable of doing it.suddenly #i cant think and i cant do anything.i have no creativity i have no ideas my mind is quite literally blank and empty

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dunsbar · 27 days ago

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the magnus archives is a podcast about the horrors of having a job

#and not even just the archives i mean. like every other statement is a look into a different career and the horror extracted from it.#im rlly interested in the fact that a lot of people giving statements have very unglamorous jobs (waste collector/cleaner/exterminator etc)#or are otherwise explicitly working class and live mediocre lives or have fallen on harder times. the cracks in life where the bad seeps in #even a lot of the ppl with fancier hobbies or jobs are often criminals or doing illegal activity. just the way societys laws create gaps #for the bad things to get us. and of course the ARCHIVES where you are stuck in a dead-end job that is actively ruining your mental health #and you literally cannot quit like physically no matter how bad it gets and your boss is the most evil person ever and you are fated to die #to die because of your job. and you had no idea. what could you do? it was your job.#tma #the magnus archives

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milkman-zahhak · 5 months ago

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Was working on something before I forgot that I can't fucking draw.

Yeah this is what a grown-ass adult's art should look like, this is the quality expected of someone whose been drawing since they could grasp a pencil. This measly scribble is worth 2 days of effort using all my free time.

#I hate myself #not to blog post or anything but my life is so stressful and I think that if I was good at drawing and churning out drawings quickly and #beautifully on the daily/weekly..#If I was like the thousands of foreign 12 year old prodigies on instagram with perfect anatomy on a mere sketch #or the soul-sellers on pixiv uploading 200 fully colored drawings at once #all my problems would be solved.#Im so hateful and it's all towards myself. I'm so painfully envious of things I'll never have...#...like a cock or artistic skill. If I wasn't so scared of not existing (to the point where thinking about it makes me physically ill)#l would have ended my shit already. But here I am.#So take this stupid ugly fucking Shane I tried to draw at midnight after a 10 hour shift. You're here to see bellies-#-not me bitching and moaning. Matter of fact I'll probably delete this part later. Whatever.#What is my fucking problem??#Enjoy what little I'm able to give. All I want is to share my thoughts and ideas and concepts and I can barely even do that.#I think I am going to pass out typing this so uh #see you later when I regret this post and delete this part haha #If I even remember #self post #Drawing #tummy kink #stomach ache #bloated belly

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toiletdestroyer3415 · 2 months ago

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Day 4 of Piktober - Pie

"This meat pie is absolutely incredible! How did you make this?"

"Some idiot left a 170 cm tall human lying around."

"Jade, I swear to stars-"

#ppiktober24 #not canon #IGNORE THE WACKY HAIR/HELMET PHYSICS i have NO idea what im doing

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allastoredeer · 6 months ago

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Not me making an outline for a fic, knowing it's going to be a fairly long one, and expecting 2,000-3,000 words tops (maybe 4,000 if I'm being detailed. 5,000 if I'm being SUPER detailed)

ONLY TO BE AT 7,000 WORDS AND STILL GOING

This is only supposed to be the outline. Not even the rough draft. I'm just putting down the most basic series of events the stories is going to follow, and I'm still hashing this thing out at 7,000 words. I haven't even reached the middle yet.

Fuck me and my natural inclination towards long and complex plots.

But goddamn am I having fun with this.

One day I'm going to figure out how to write sweet and simple one-shots. I'm going to figure out how to make a short story.

But until then, enjoy my gigantic, monstrosity of fanworks. If you have commitment issues, unfollow me now, cuz all of my shit is long-term.

#this wasn't supposed to get so long #but I say that about all my fics #that's how Just Kiss Already started #it was supposed to be ONE one-shot #but then it grew #and grew #and continues to grow #you guys have no IDEA what kind of shit I have planned for this series #I am going to tear these characters apart mentally emotionally and physically #and there's nothing anyone can do to stop me #and I'm out here doing it again #someone tell me to stop #I too am a slave under capitalism #if I got paid writing my complex fanfictions this wouldn't be a problem #but capitalism deems that I do not have time for all the fic writing I want to do #and yet im going to write more long fic anyway #im so serious about the comittment issues thing #if you're ride or die this is going to be a long term relationship #we're all in motherfuckers #the carts are moving and there is no getting off this ride #damn im so excited for this new wip im working on #you guys have no idea

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figofswords · 7 months ago

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the post grad why did i get an art degree what am i even doing what do i want in life where am i going crisis has finally hit i want to. lie down in the dirt. or something

#WHAT AM I DOING!!!!#i get up i go to my stupid retail job i stick labels on bags they pay me fucking thirteen bucks an hour i come home i lie on the couch #too tired to draw in too much pain to go anywhere no energy to reach out to college friends to do anything fun #no idea where the even start with getting an industry job no clue what i even WANT at this point #trying to remember what i loved so much about comics i want it BACK i HATE this #WHAT IS THE POINT!!!! WHAT DO I WANT WHERE AM I GOING!!! WHAT COMES NEXT!!!!!!#there's no clear career trajectory i can't do freelance i need structure i can't work too much i need free time #my brain doesn't work every job requires me to move across the country the irs just took fucking three hundred stupid dollars from me #my friends live in different states i can't get a job without experience i can't get experience without a job #i can't work on my portfolio with no energy and no time and i dont have any money and everything is so expensive all the time #i can't get anywhere bc i dont drive and im too stressed to think about taking driving lessons again #and WHAT DO I WANT!#THE MOST INTERESTING THING I DO EVERY WEEK IS GO TO PHYSICAL THERAPY!#I AM EXCITED EVERY WEEK FOR PHYSICAL THERAPY!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!#anyway WHATEVER i need to go to bed #delete later #i got into spx. today. so. had to have a crisis about how i felt when i attended spx (energized. excited. a part of something. ambitious)#versus how i feel now (tired. unmotivated. kind of apathetic about art. disconnected)#i dont miss the stress of school but i miss being around other artists. ppl who speak your language and who want the same things you want #ppl who are excited abut art and that makes YOU excited about art. ppl who get you #i miss that i want that back #whatever. its 1am i gotta go shower i have an 8.5 hour shift tomorrow. wahoo. $13.50/hr lets go

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sonknuxadow · 1 year ago

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sorry i dont really like the shadow is silvers dad theory/headcanon/whatever and part of the reason for it is that people keep presenting it as an actual thing that could be possible even though it makes no sense and all "evidence" people use to back it up is easily disputed

#''they both have white chest fur'' okay ? there are so many other characters who have small physical traits in common #doesnt mean they have to be related #''shadow and silver are lancelot and galahad in sonic and the black knight'' okay and .#im sure there might be SOME meaning to the character choices in the storybook games but i highly doubt their lives are 1 to 1 parallels #or that the character choices are meant to imply anything about the characters that we dont already know #plus amy was nimue and nobody tries to argue that shadow and amy are related because of that?#also im aware that a lot of dad shadow stuff takes place in the future when silver is a baby and shadow has still been alive for a long tim #(which. how would that even work wasnt shadow in stasis again in the future)#but sometimes i see people do it with like present day shadow being a father figure to the silver who time traveled there ?#thats like the horrible combination of people infantilizing silver in a way they dont do with other characters his age or younger #and people pretending shadow is an adult when he isnt . what #also i dont get why people insist that if shadow is silver's dad then the other parent MUST be someone from the existing cast #like . silver is not from a few decades into the future hes from 200 years into the future #none of the characters youre saying shadow is gonna get with are gonna be living that long im sorry to say #and why does silver HAVE to be the child of a couple in the existing cast why cant he just be some random guy #and im not saying every au idea has to perfectly align with canon #but a lot of the people who think shadow is silvers dad arent presenting it as a fun little baseless headcanon #theyre presenting it as an actual plausible theory . when it really isnt .#also ive noticed one of the most common pairings for silvers parents is sonic and shadow .#sorry but that is just not happening i feel so strongly about sonic never wanting to get married or have kids #i think shadow being an older brother figure to silver could be cute .#and the idea of a timeline where shadow doesnt die or get put into stasis or whatever the hell and is still around in silvers time #could be interesting . but im not really on board with the dad thing

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erospourfemme · 3 months ago

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i'm a very don't tolerate bullshit kind of person and I respect and expect it so much when other people are real and straight up with me anyways whatever I say stems from my own thoughts and I cannot lie to you and tell you to do something I think is stupid if you ask for advice. anyways an acquaintance of mine who majored in English unless you want to work in primary school for a pay of barely 700 dollars complained how her parents want her to get a masters degree and she's thinking about getting one in marketing or something similar and then later on spreading into tech saying how she can work as a data analyst and I literally almost laughed out loud like it's absolutely insane how little university life prepares us for the future and how absolutely useless it is that you have university graduates here thinking they can work a job that requires a degree in either IT or economy as someone who read and talked about books for grades like please be so serious right now. I'm not upset with her for thinking this is possible just the general society for letting these young people down by telling them every career option is valid and it doesn't really matter what you study in university because it does

#in a general scheme of things it doesn't matter what you study in university when u study useless shit and never get a chance to work #a job related to that #but people who majored in medicine #mathematics engineering biology physics etc like you dont hear them talk about how studies don't actually matter bc they're working jobs #they studied for #adding law onto it as well #like we really need less people in humanities I'm not saying we need no people in humanities #humanities are really important but we need LESS people in them #and we also need less people in universities in general #go learn a skill you can actually use to make money off of in the real word we need electricians and people fixing shit around the house #we need people making ceramic or wooden floors we need carpenters #we dont need more people majoring in English abeg #the society and the school system is failing the younger generations so much by affirming their ideas of what the world looks like #because a highschooler cannot know whats best for them in the long run and we need to aid them #and i wish someone told me this before I went to university I would've saved myself so much trouble and time #and im not complaining bc i genuinely have it so much better than at least like 50% of my ex classmates #i have an appartment #a job that pays me okay #a side hustle #a car even though its old #savings #a future plan #idea of what im going to do and where I'm going to end up #but if i had someone advise me from the beginning I would've saved so much time and effort

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healingheartdogs · 6 days ago

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I know it's been a few years since I've run my own dog training business instead of working for someone else for exploitation wages and that previously I was working in the rural south where prices are a bit different in general, but out of curiosity I decided to look at some dog training services in my area in upstate NY today and got hit with sticker shock ngl.

Most places don't post their prices so I could only compare a few (which... I sort of get since they want to avoid competition doing what I'm doing right now lol but as someone who has run a dog training business and had business marketing included in my education it's something I see as an... *interesting* choice, because most clients want to know price up front without having to contact you and wait for a response because they probably already have a budget in mind and just want to be able to quickly see if you fit into it or not, which means not having prices posted will make some potential clients immediately look elsewhere and if you don't even have some sort of price range for services posted somewhere then most of your calls and emails will just be people asking for pricing and a majority of those calls and emails will not lead to services purchased so it ends up wasting a lot of unpaid time on office work BUT THATS AN UNRELATED TOPIC, I DIGRESS) but WOWZA the ones that did have prices posted really made me realize I do NOT live in a low cost of living place anymore.

One of the popular places here that I looked at charges $150+ for ONE training session with one of their APPRENTICE trainers. It's double that price to train with one of their more experienced dog trainers for just one session.

I looked back at some of the trainers I was competing with back in FL and NC to compare as well as the dog training school I went to just to check and see if prices were getting that high in other rural areas, and nope. Most places $300 would still get you at least three - maybe up to six - private lessons spread out over three (or six, or whatever) weeks, which is the pricing range I'm used to seeing dog trainers in the rural south suffer with because of places like Petsmart setting the pricing bar so low.

I'm pretty sure I have more formal dog training education and certification than most of the employees at this place too since even their main "behaviorist" (not a protected title in the USA so anyone can call themselves that) has no certifications listed at all that I can find, so... I guess now that I live here if I ever start training again I'm going to have to rethink my pricing lol even if I don't charge those kinds of prices I clearly still need to bump them up in this area from what I used to charge in order to be competitive with these other training businesses.

#pricing too low compared to competition is a business killer btw #another think i learned in my marketing classes #most people buying dog training are wealthier #not necessarily rich but... not poor #and although id love to offer sliding scale for low income clients if i ever do training on my own again #your normal prices being too low WILL turn away those clients who are higher income #cuz EVEN IF IT'S NOT ACTUALLY TRUE higher class members of our society have a subconscious idea that price often = quality for services #I KNOW I KNOW I did not believe this either straight out of school and underpriced my services still anyway despite being taught that #because it did not make sense to my poor person brain to assume that wealthier people think like that #but i learned very quickly after having a couple of wealthier people literally LAUGH at my pricing #or make weird faces and say “that's it?'#the first dude who laughed at my pricing actually gave me a tip that doubled my price for his services every time i worked for him #and another regular of mine often left me envelopes of cash because she said she felt bad that i was charging so little #and that it actually made her second guess hiring me at first #SO JUST TAKE THE ADVICE AND CHARGE WHAT IS COMPETITIVE IN YOUR AREA AT LEAST INSTEAD OF TRYING TO UNDERCUT COMPETITION #or compete with the big chains DEAR GOD DO NOT TRY TO COMPETE WITH THE BIG TRAINING CHAINS PRICE WISE FOR YOUR OWN MENTAL HEALTH #you will burn yourself out and make yourself hate dog training if you try to compete at their exploitation prices #at the least price around what other people who are NOT working for chains in the area do #and ideally price what you think would make you feel like your time and labor is being adequately compensated #which means enough to afford to live and afford to pay for things like health insurance as an independent contractor #and have enough left over for some QOL stuff and to put some into savings for emergencies or slow periods for your work #a lot of people working with animals ridiculously undercharge and then end up screwing themselves over mentallt and physically #anyway this post and the tags are long enough and i could rant about pricing and fair wages forever so im done now lol #just reeling a little at the idea of charging $300 for a single dog training lesson and that PEOPLE HERE ARE PAYING THAT #THAT PLACE IS POPULAR AND SUCCESSFUL #they do not pay their trainers that much though lmfao they make only like $6 over minimum wage OF COURSE #which I know because I got into this pricing deep dive after seeing multiple of their job listings because they're hiring right now #i hate business owners that do pricing vs employee pay so differently like that they are honest to god EVIL that is exploitation

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