#i have no damn idea anymore))
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Music Video Monday
aka I'm out of new tache photos and I just did lots of pretty screenshots of Evans in that music video...
#shaun evans#itv endeavour#endeavour morse#moustache mondays#replaced temporarily by music video monday#because I have lots of very pretty screenshots to post#he really is very very pretty#especially in this#maxine peake knows how to shoot him to best effect#and I'm a big fan#she should direct him more if this is the result#also this was filmed near where I live#I walked up that hill at the end of the video two weeks ago#sadly evans wasn't there#I would have climed a lot faster if he was at the top#just saying#I have no idea what i'm on about anymore#sorry#anyway... enjoy the pretty#more later#hot damn evans#cherry ghost#clear skies ever closer
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for the ask game
tim creates a clone of kon, but this is dicktim tim has to carry the fetus or breastfeed it, but dick suddenly gets a mommy kink and immediately falls in love
for the ask game!
DICKTIM MOMMY KINK. how did you know i have such a thing for just about any Batcest ship where the other person calls Tim mommy. i don't even know why i just think that shit is so fun.
it'd have to be Omegaverse for me, that's the only scenario i personally could write m-preg. i like the thought of no one knowing that Tim has gone on this crusade. and after 99 failures, Tim's so desperate and angry he tries in vitro fertilization. the first few times it doesn't work so he doesn't take it too seriously, at this point it's just a compulsion. he gets to a point he stops taking the pregnancy tests. so when about a month later, he's experiencing morning sickness and he's missed his heat, Tim has an 'oh, shit.' moment. and well. telling Dick first is his *natural* answer. (i think he'd also go to Steph, but in canon she'd be "dead" at this point) Tim doesn't know what to do, he didn't think he'd get this far. Dick is comforting and grounding, agreeing to help Tim hide this the best he can. Tim has to time it right, fake a bad injury so it makes sense he's benched and wearing baggy sweaters for a few months.
it's platonic at first. Dick is an alpha but his bond with Tim is more of a pack bond and he's just trying to help Tim through this awkward situation he got himself into. (and not laugh at him too much in the process bc well. only Tim. only Tim could manage this.) the pregnancy hormones have Tim all over the place. he's seeking comfort and Dick is trying to keep it platonic and professional, even when he's cuddling Tim or bringing him weird cravings at 2 am. the trust in Dick and Tim's bond makes Dick Tim's only real support system. (also just bc the Titans were a goddamn mess in this era) maybe at some point they tell Bruce the truth but Bruce is dealing with Jason so. bigger fish. it forces them closer as Dick is the only one who can help Tim with the awkward sides of pregnancy. Dick is basically living with Tim and because Tim can't satiate the itch to be in the field (he's tried sneaking out, it earned him a lecture from Dick and a warning that Dick would handcuff him to the radiator if Tim tried that again) so Tim runs comms. for anyone who asks, but mostly for Dick, to the point he's in Dick's ear even when Dick doesn't need the backup, just to keep each other company.
i think, as the pregnancy went on and Tim's chest started to fill out and his hips are bigger, that's when Dick's feeling shift. one second Tim is just his pack, the next Tim is suddenly a very pretty, very vulnerable omega that's Dick is protecting and his wires get all kinds of crossed about it. he starts dousing himself in scent blockers so Tim doesn't notice the change, can't smell how much Dick wants him. which makes Tim annoyed because Dick's scent has been a consistent calming factor keeping the worst of his hormones in check. it'd lead to an awkward fight where Dick is dancing around the truth and Tim just wants to bite him out of anger. finally, Dick admits it and. Tim kind of bluescreens bc sure he's had a crush on Dick for years, but it's sort of like your celebrity crush calling you up and asking for a date. it makes no sense and he can't wrap his head around it. he almost thinks Dick is making fun of him, because Tim is super self-conscious about the pregnancy and mortified he put himself in this situation. it takes a lot of reassurance and a long conversation, but. well, they do end up having sex.
Dick doesn't *mean* to call Tim mommy the first time. he knows Tim hates being emasculated as an omega, and knows Tim is vulnerable about being pregnant. their sex is gentle, no matter how much Tim insists he can take it because Dick doesn't want to hurt the baby, or Tim. it's when Tim finally huffs with annoyance and flips them over -reminding Dick that Tim is still trained and deadly, even like this- to take control and actually get the rough sex he needs right now, when it slips out. there's something just very pretty about Tim taking control and taking what he needs from Dick, but still being whiny and squirmy on top of him. so the first time Dick calls him mommy is an accident and they're *both* startled by just how much they like it. their sex life goes from soft and caring to *very* interesting overnight, where Dick doesn't hide how much he likes Tim's chest. and well. breastfeeding kink. for completely scientific reasons, of course. just to help the milk flow and make sure Tim's body is adjusting well. definitely not bc of the noises Tim makes when Dick does it no sir.
when Tim finally has the clone baby, they're both smitten with this tiny clone. i think they'd end up mating and either say it's Dick's baby or they adopted it. (the lie only works short term bc well, sooner or later that baby's going to start lifting trucks. not to mention Kon does come back to life and is perturbed by how much Tim's kid looks like him.) it's a very cute, fluffy happily ever after sort of deal, with plenty of mommy kink. i think Tim would be huffy and annoyed at how long he'd have to wait for sex bc in my mind, Tim uses sex as a stress relief and is very annoyed when he's deprived of it so, they'd find creative ways around it.
#necrotic festerings#dicktim#tim drake x dick grayson#dick grayson x tim drake#timdick#batcest#mpreg#nsft#to be clear i'm so not here to yuck anyone's yum about mpreg in the confines of like. normal guy giving birth#it's just not my personal wheelhouse#and tbf you could do this with trans!tim and make it work#but as an afab trans person who's infertile i won't lie. i forget afab trans ppl can have babies.#fully goes over my head.#if you ever read one of my fics and go “why didn't they use protection he could get pregnant??”#know the answer is i fucking *forgot* most afab ppl are fertile.#same with periods bc i don't get mine. straight up forget everyone else does a monthly blood sacrifice.#anywhore#this one is a tad out of my wheelhouse so it was fun to think about!#bc usually i wouldn't explore an idea like this so it was a fun challenge to see how i would do it#do love that mid typing it i checked comic dates to see if steph was 'dead' and she was then i continued on like nothing happened#2006 was a weird era for comics.#i think a soft idea is a fun lil palette cleanser after the dead dove so this one was cute!!#anyway more mpreg should have just the weirdness of pregnancy#messy hormones! cravings! body changes! being unable to tie your own damn shoes!#that's the FUN of it#like dick would regularly see tim naked even before feelings bloomed just because tim needed help getting in his damn pants.#so when feelings start dick is sweating for his life helping Tim dress like. don't be suspicious. don't be suspicious.#tim in dick's clothes bc his own don't fit anymore >>>#i do love mommy kink tho it's my fave how'd you know.#fussy bottom mommy tim. how i love you.
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love seeing your takes on mouthwashing and how sane they are. everything's so black or white. I like how you acknowledge curlys abuse under jimmy (which I honestly didn't quite notice when I first watched a playthrough. should rewatch w this in mind) and how that very much doesn't "forgive" his inaction towards Anya and Her abuse under jimmy. I think what happens to him despite all his issues (bc he clearly wasn't OK 😊✌🏼) is very much karmic. I really did hurt huh
I hate the take that what happened to him is karmic as becoming disabled and being tortured is like not in any way an equal consequence for not taking more action against Jimmy. It is a consequence as is the whole game for everyone but it’s one that is very much established as being undeserved and extreme as everyone else’s but Jimmy’s fate.
Thank you for liking my takes but I also try to point out that this exact sort of framing of the events and what happened to Curly is bad especially if you are gonna factor in his own abuse into the equation of his inaction/ineffective acts. It’s like “saying yeah he deserved the abuse he was already going through to escalate because he didn’t do enough” which is like not a message the game tries to deliver at all. It’s like the game shows that abusers escalate
Karma and punishment are not concepts that I think should be directly tied to Curly’s fate especially since during the game and even in discussion he takes on too many consequences of someone else’s actions. Like this framing is the direct thing I describe taking the discussion away from Jimmy, P.E and the factors that created the environment in the first place.
#Maybe I’m just a bleeding heart for fictional characters that suffer but the fandom has a weird attachment to retribution#as if retribution is not a damning desire in the game like the game is about what happens when you#lack the capability to try and do better or go back on it and that is about all of them but mainly Jimmy and how it intensifies#the suffering of those around him like not saying Curly is excused but the think pieces about Curly make on whether he deserved it make it#sound like he was some empty headed dolt that didn’t know women faced oppression or had any issues of his own#and that he needed to be humbled to understand as if his toxic relationship with Jimmy is not an aspect in the forefront and his apathy in#life like becoming disabled isn’t karma yes his condition parallel Anya’s feeling but it’s also reveals all the way Jimmy was already#treating him poorly and how it got worse now that he had more power over him like again he harasses Anya still but noticed he takes out most#of his frustration on Curly now like idk what more I can say#I hate the idea someone deserves to be disabled and go through such a brutal experience comments like that are weird#like this is not an argument of Curly suffered too with Anya it is they are both suffering at all points with Jimmy#and it is not at all helpful to any conversation to try to scale and compare both their experiences against each other#but rather how they both reacted to Jimmy and how it affected how they handled/viewed everything pre and post crash#like I hope this hurts is likely a comment on the whole system that allowed it all to happen not specifically about any character or what#they did like it never did not hurt that’s the point none of the choices made felt good for anyone like sorry this is not about you anon#just the general sentiment of post crash curly and deserving cause by the logic people use then Swansea deserved to watch Daisuke suffer and#have to kill him because he didn’t kill Jimmy or support Anya better like it’s crazy to me#like yes represents him not being able to do more anymore but it is again pointed out to be unfair because of what resources they had#like he suffers due to P.Es restriction even when it comes to his care because they under supply them despite how long and dangerous#and isolating and short staffed their jobs are.#got a little heated sorry anon I just think the idea someone needs to suffer for what Jimmy did outside of Jimmy makes me mad#mainly because it’s never like realistic or just or acknowledges the facets of abuse#mouthwashing#ask#anon#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing
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You Sound Like Louis Burdett is a banger song I wish it was real 💔 [looking at you spotify]
skeleton-less & textless versions ✨ wahoo ✨
#over 40 hours & 300 layers later an my wrist pains are at an all time high#seriously my wrists are killing me agh#wrist pains are great when youre an artist aren't they?????#head in hands#i sketched a very very loose idea of this like 10 minutes after the song came out#passed out [cos it was 6am] & then spent the next 3 days working on this#and its still not out on spotify#song is prooooolly coming out today at least#just assuming by the k.k. suite as a standard#it again 6am. i have not slept so i will go do that now#preferably not face down on a lawn like a certain other pansexual floating around here somewhere#chonny jash#cj ysllb#i still dunno what to tag the song tbh#-atlas art-#tw sui imagery#bright colors#bright lights#cw bright colors#lmk if this needs anymore tag warnings!!!#also chonny please give us an outfit photo for stuff#the tights were driving me insane#same for the shoes#literally can only see the god damn BOTTOM of them in one photo#what do i draw man
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2021
Me: I work in a different city almost everyday this month. Can I take the train? It'll save ya gas and money and time
Parents: No
2022
Me: I work in a different city almost everyday this month. To save gas and money, can I take the train?
Parents: No
2023
Me: I work in a different city almost everyday this month. Can I take the train to save gas and money?
Parents: No
2024
Me: I work in a different city almost everyday this month. Can I take the train to save gas and money?
Parents: No
Parents, a week later: Buy a train pass because gas is expensive
Me: Okay, but I don't get paid until Tuesday
Parents, that Tuesday: Don't get a pass; we'll take you to work
Me: Alright, then I'm going to spend this $85 on food and gas
Parents, yesterday: You're taking the train to work tomorrow because gas is expensive
Me, to myself: If you'd actually teach me to drive, we wouldn't be having this problem
#summer is busy season#augest is when most of our shows come in#i take the theatre in our dtate capitol#I don't have a drivers license because no one that can legally take me driving will take me for more than maybe 8 hours every other month#i'm not salty about this#why do teain passes even exist? it's bullshit#(I think it's Sweden) Sweden has the right idea about public transport#i think#i juat know that the system here is expensive as shit#why can't they make up their damn minds about this?#also#$85 is for a single month pass#i only need it for two weeks#to be fair to my parents#i was 17 when i first asked#honestly#I don't think my anxiety could handle being on the train anymore#it's only gotten worse as i've gotten older#besides i don't do well in crowded places#especially if they're small like a train#we'll see how we feel tomorrow#also also#I won't say anything about the drivers license because they both find ways to lightly guilt trip me into not bringing it up for a month#that's my rant done#i gotta go sleep
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been drawing a sorta reference thingy for Salesman Barry in the timeloop au i've been rotating around in my brain for a while recently :] it isn't as much a character design reference as it is more of a reference for how Barry's mental state begins to deteriorate as he starts having intense deja vu and nightmares every time his timeline gets reset upon death and he tries to piece together what is going on out of pure desperation and instincts (he is being experimented on and doesn't know it yet). i want to throw him at a wall (affectionate)
it is still a WIP as i haven't drawn all the details yet and i want to change the colours as they look too dull on my pc,,, also here is the original sketch :D
#barry steakfries#jetpack joyride#salesman!barry steakfries#i have been thinking of more ideas for the timeloop au..... still haven't come up with a proper name for it yet though loolll#i like putting barry in horrible traumatising situations it's fun seeing his character traits get pushed to their limits#first i'm putting him through a brutal survivalist zombie landscape that makes barry question if he'll even make it out alive this time#and then i'm shoving him into a horrible reality where his life and timeline are fake and his whole reality literally starts to shatter#its ok he gets better!!!#not so much craig though :( craig gets it rough#he basically goes through a horrific accident involving experimental technology that damns him to an existence that is permanently-#-attached to the timeline itself where he will die if the timeline gets wiped or he tries to enter another one#craig's existence is basically a living purgatory where he can never age or die but he is no longer alive as his former self anymore#he's like a half-ghost and he ends up doomed no matter what action barry would take at the end of the story#if barry erases the timeline craig dies. if craig tries to come with barry to the new timeline he dies.#if barry does nothing and keeps living in this broken timeline loop he's in then craig will never escape and have the chance to help barry#oh yeah i forgot to mention craig is trapped in a basement. and also that this post is about barry. woops#barry has to basically become a detective in this story and string together what the fuck is happening based on pure instincts alone#he's like a conspiracy theorist with his board covered in photos connected by red strings#it's really cool i think..... i should make a whole separate post about this#i love drawing my little man :)#he's so traumatised he needs a big hug and a best friend and tons of therapy and plenty of ice cream#i'm just thinkin of the effects of barry's trauma after he goes through the events of timeloop and enters the new dimension#dude's probably gonna have tones of nightmares and trust issues and dissociative episodes#he's probably going to develop a compulsion where he continuously checks the date and time because he's terrified of it resetting again#he needs a hug seriously#alternate universe#my au
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oh jesus christ it’s wednesday/thursday and this is the second allnighter of the week
#do I just not sleep everynight anymore?? had 2 allnighters last week as well like I need to get it together asap damn#and like I’d need to make sound decisions & quality work today and that’s just always a bad idea after having been up for a too long time#bc that might just not happen and I’ll realize on sunday that I made all the wrong choices bc the brain was asleep#march 2024#2024
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When the Green Influencer arc is really starting to hit too close to home cause you keep going back and forth on what content you should make cause you don’t know if people will like it
The next episode might actually kill me/j
#I’ll be okay btw just thought it’s kinda funny how the green kin joke isn’t a joke anymore#I have a lot of ideas I wanna work on but college is kicking my ass and I start work again this week#I just wanna draw the funny sticks god damn#I need to get these ideas out there or else I will literally explode#but also internalized cringe culture is such a bitch lmao#bean talks#not putting this in the main tag#dont wanna clog it with my silly talks
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| @cxffexngel said; | '' This isn't the first time I've gone without sleep.''
`` And I'm sure it won't be the last for either of us. ``
— contrary to the chiding he's certain his newfound company must have had an inkling he'd be subjected to.
no. Six was no stranger to sleepless nights.
he knew them as well as the back of his own hands — as well as the sins that hung over his head with every breath.
they have kept him awake more times than he can count.
he was in no position to be telling anyone to retire when they could not.
`` ... I heard that your coffee is the best on the ship. May as well humor each other if neither of us have any intention of sleeping anyway. ``
#☸ — the wolf and the sparrow ; cxffexngel.#cxffexngel#hopefully that tag worked bc i have No Frickin Idea how this ding damn ass site works anymore#LMAO
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look i love being a humanities student and all, but constantly debating everything and criticizing societal norms and views in every single lesson gets tiring really quickly. and today my prof said that most humanities academics are on the more liberal side of things. which is not at all surprising. but being too liberal is not necessarily a good thing.
it gets to a point where it's just like there is no right and there is no wrong. it just is. everything is just is.
#like some of the topics interest me#but when you just go on and on debating and debating i don't even want to hear it anymore lmao#yesterday i was doing a reading for today's class and it touched on the idea of nativeness#and the need to redefine what it means to be a native speaker of a language#and i was like hell yeah!! because i have definitely thought about this#and i used to wonder what it means to be a native speaker#but during today's class lol god damn by the end i was just like WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE A NATIVE SPEAKER (OF ENGLISH) SO BAD#it's not even your language it was imposed on you#lmao#even though i have definitely thought about whether i myself could be considered a native english speaker (and my personal opinion was yes)#like god damn you guys TAKE A BREATHER#can't we just like take it as it is lmao#being a humanities student is just like criticizing and criticizing and criticizing LAWD#I'M TIRED LMAO#studyblr#langblr#lingblr#languages#linguistics
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#idk if it was the eclipse or what just happened#but... i want to write again#i have ideas and plans and a ghost town of a tumblr#im so behind in genshin it's insane but we're so back#i think im going to do a soft restart#make a new account and refollow the homies#idk if im writing this to the void but hey guysss <3 <3 <3#how do i even use this website anymore damn damn damn
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.
#I'm so tired of this ai nonsense everywhere 😩😩😩😩😩#how and where should I advertise my art I have no idea anymore#it's very sad#I will continue making commissions until I can & there is an interest#but damn it's scary#and uncertain#personal#rant#don't mind me#eldrtchmn
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making something of substance is actually quite scary. if you think about it
#the mortifying ordeal of being known i guess#i draw a lot of stuff thst is pretty unsubstantial bc the big ideas in my head seem exhausting to put to paper#or that i have to do something else before i can do thst. get to the next level#similarly why i find it hard to write anymore#there is a fear of. not having anything meaningful to say i suppose#so i draw memes and the same sketchy busts over and over and let my docs grow cobwebs#itll do for now but damn. wish i could make something thst touches someone. or just tells them anything at all#birbwellspeaks
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behold the highly specific childhood besties au that lives rent free in my head
#cherry magic#my art#1 is from today and 2&3 are from march but i thought id post them together since theyre all the same au anyway#theres the og file i started the ideas on but its olddd so not sharing those. yet... might redraw it actually#honestly at this point ive gotten so invested in the siblings part of this au that its not even abt krdc anymore#its abt what if mari and kazuya were the duo ever. and the boys are having their Thing in the background i guess#i have so much planned but also nothing planned at all. damn i love making aus
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The verb shanks uses being also break up/divorce is sending me. I’m going to be delulu and decide it is what Oda meant. Buggy burned their wedding certificate. /joking
Btw if you ever feel need to talk about buggy just go for it, it was one of the best analysis I saw recently on this site. /genuine
Where were you hiding all those years I needed you/joking
(context for the divorce comment)
the joke usually goes that the person burning the marriage certificate thinks it's like a receipt and now their partner can't get rid of them... of course buggy knows it's much more like a product registration form, and without it shanks can't get any of the support promised in the warranty!
& thank you!! people have been so very kind in their response to my thoughts! i don't have anything new and buggy-specific to say at the moment, i'm afraid—i have fic ideas, but i think we may be at the point where i need more material to read before i can generate meta without someone prompting me—though i did just find some buggy meta that was posted not long after 1082 came out that melted my brain a little. that should be coming out of my queue in a week or so!
#as for where i was hiding… opla pulled me back in after i got tired of waiting for wano to wrap up lmao#i simply do not have the endurance to read a longrunning series like op week-by-week anymore#even volume-by-volume is a struggle… i want that complete story!#but i'd lost touch with my op friends and had no idea that wano finished up last fall…#otoh it's lucky i didn't know! i woulda caught up back then and forgotten about op until egghead finished#and i never would've been infected with the 1082 brain rot! and where would we be then?#tos answers#one piece#mm… to tag a post vaguely about the ship with the ship tag vs the urge to stop spamming the damn tag with how much i’ve been posting lately#it’s a conundrum for sure :/#aaaah fuck it#shuggy#buggy
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HUGE VENT
I'm sorry but i need to get this out, just please don't worry too much or take anything personally/gen
My routine these last two weeeks has been:
-Wake up at my 10 am alarm and spend the whole day in bed, mentally and physically exhausted, brain fog and no motivation for anything, only getting up to eat, having to wait for the "food time" hours to roll around that my therapist gave me because I'm not allowed to eat outside of those hours and if I'm hungry but missed the last food time then too bad, struggling to stay awake because again I'm not allowed to sleep out of the "sleep hours" she gave me and that includes naps, excitedly waiting for 21h30/22h to roll around so i can finally sleep
-Spend the evening mentally screaming in my mind because, while my body is still just as physically exhausted, my mind is suddenly sharp and full of ideas and motivation, but i'm still too tired to get up and draw
-Then spend midnight and onward rolling around in bed, hot and bored out of my mind because my physical tiredness also vanished, but i'm not allowed to get up and draw because it's "sleep hours" and i need to reschedule my body, and end up falling asleep at around 5 am
I'm totally not slowly loosing my mind 😃👍
Edit: Oh also the constant noise in my ears has gotten worse, i don't know what silence is anymore
Silence is actually worse than loud rooms
It's driving me insane
It's so loud
#literaly so mentally exhausted to the point that i forgot to ask a bunch of really important stuff and tests at my last gyneco appointement#i can't remember which med I'm supposed to take at a specific hour and which one is whenever. so i just take them both at the same time#i can't remember if i have still boxes of meds in advance and which one i need to go refill#because they're stuff i need to constantly take and not suddenly stop with#but i keep forgetting to check#and i can't remember where i put the prescriptions anyway#and which one are the right one and which one are old#I'm so tired#and I'm so tired of being tired#and I'm SO so so tired of constantly fighting to have my health and struggles acknowledge#i kinda just gave up and now i'm just mindlessly sitting there at the appointments for only 10 minutes being being told that i can leave#I've just been run in circles for way too long#and i get aggresively criticised every time i use advice and seek for help on the Internet. by the same doctors who don't give me ANY advic#or help#and my head has been pounding for two days#and my verbal ticks have gotten so bad that it genuinely gets hard to breathe sometimes#with a therapist that just made me talk in circles and lowkey criticised me for two hours#(this was our first real therapy meeting and they're supposed to only be 1 hour and are NOT reimbursed because the autism center will NOT#fucking answer to ANYONE. medical professional or not. so i had to go private 😃👍)#and the only thing she gave me at the end of those 2 hours was this schedule that I'm not allowed to bend#I've been trying to daydream about my AUs and develope them as usual to try to feel better#but now that i have time to draw. i just get more and more drawing ideas that keep pilling up and tear me apart from the inside because i#can't draw any of them thanks to this damn fatigue#i literally only did 1 af revenge and still need to do 3 more. and i genuinely don't know if I'll manage to do that#i told two friends that ill draw something for them. but nothing. because too tired and everything keeps slipping from my mind#i will daydream about Dimentio for hours straight. then forget that i did. and panic that the fixation is slipping because i “haven't#thought about him in a while“. ”a while“ was 40 seconds ago. I'm not exaggerating this keeps happening#i also keep spending the night DRENCHED in sweat because i just can't sleep without my blanket on me anymore. so more struggles#vent#negative
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