#i have no actual talent

[cairfrey]

St Luigi - Patron Saint of the Abandoned

[froopa-coopa]

"I live a lonely life without you. And I may be troubled, but I'm gracious in defeat."(in dreams - ben howard)

fanart inspired by the fic "buried my love in a shallow grave" by iamcringebutiamfree on AO3 / @grahamfolgersdeliciousnotebooks !!Set right after Jon made it out of the buried. I love it so much🍊💙

[elsecrytt]

Satoru Gojo goes to the same cafe every day for his coffee-flavored confectionary beverage. You are the barista tasked with pumping his drink with the unreasonable assortment of syrup squeezes.

You don't blink at it. You've been in customer service forever. Everything is second nature to you. But you give him a look when you hand him a drink and he just starts going.

He likes to make small chat, you learn. About meaningless things - desserts, drinks, the weather - but he makes you laugh, and he laughs at your jokes, too. He's smiling every time you talk.

He's beautiful - in that way that makes you uncertain if he's really there - and friendly, and he seems a bit lonely, eager to converse.

Something tells you Satoru probably doesn't have a lot of close friends. He's rich, too, judging by the massive tips he leaves you.

The thing is, you do a lot of things on autopilot. It's just the way these things get after a while. Pouring drinks, "What would you like today?", "I'll have that out for you soon!", "Have a nice day!", all that stuff.

Sometimes, though. Sometimes. Wires get crossed.

He's picked up his drink to leave, giving you a cheeky smile and a little wave, and you tell him, without thinking twice:

"Love you, bye!"

Oh. Oh fucking hell -

"Love you too!"

[stasyalovem]

i think it's kinda outrageous that we see only Charles with a saber (that was a saber wasn't it? I don't know much about it tbh) in season 1, when Edwin is the one who canonically fencing. and how dare they know that George really can fence and don't give us a chance to see it on a screen. i mean this kind of fight would suit Edwin so well with his sassy nature, love to show off a bit and his elegant moves and posutre. so in season 2 i vitally need the scene opposite to boxing one, but now Edwin would teach Charles fencing (that might be a flashbacks, cause we see that Charles can use this saber a little). but more than that i just wanna see more protective Edwin who defence Charles with his rapier and skills and Charles swoon over how hot this is. but if we also could have the scene like this when they both fight together holding hands, then definetley i would be the one who swoon over this.

[clouvu]

Offering to you all some sandy doodles in these trying times

[secriden]

This line. God, this line! It has been eating me up inside for 2 days now, because let's not forget, this line isn't about love, it's about trust. And that has implications that make me want to scream.

It's a direct reference to this moment earlier in the episode:

At the start of this discussion, Style and Fadel still have a kind of playful air about their conversation:

Style: Oh? Not even me? Fadel: You're at 80% at best. I feel like you're hiding something from me in the 20%.

In this exchange, though, there's a sense that Fadel is issuing a challenge, like there's something specific which Style can do to gain Fadel's full trust. And while Style knows there are things he cannot (yet) reveal to Fadel, I think a part of him is determined to be as honest as he can be, which is why he issues a challenge of his own by asking for more specificity:

Style: What do I have to do to gain your complete trust?

Part of this question is a simultaneously inquisitive and deflective - What (and why) do you think I'm hiding (something) from you? - but there's also a moment after Style finishes speaking where he stills and goes quiet that feels... genuine, weighty. Or, as @airenyah has pointed out in her meta on Style in episode 4, the "grounded[ness]" in Style's demeanour is a signal that Style means what he's saying in the moment. Maybe about his own desire to be worthy of Fadel's trust, maybe about how he genuinely does want this relationship to be real in whatever way that matters to Fadel.

I think Fadel sensed that too, because the moment looses all the lightheartedness it had before. Fadel pauses, and then gets a look on his face that just... breaks my heart. There's a sombreness there, like he knows he's going to have to say something that makes him sad. Fadel looks away, and then down, before he seems to steel himself and says:

Fadel: It'll never happen. No matter how much you love someone, I just don't believe that you can completely lay yourself bare in front of them.

Fadel says this like it's fact. Like what he's expressing is something foundational and true and irrefutable. It's not even about his doubt in Style's honesty, because this statement has no qualifiers or conditions put on it to connect it to Style. Rather this is what Fadel fundamentally believes about relationships and trust: he finds the very concept of being fully known and still accepted an impossibility.

Sure, maybe this is because of the falling out (or betrayal or disappearance) associated with the former lover; but I also think it might be because Fadel is acutely aware not only that he's hiding a rather big and dark secret (not to mince words, but: actual literal premeditated murder), but also about what it implies about Fadel. Because being able to kill another human, coldly and clinically and without remorse, takes a certain type of person. Because, yes, Fadel has lived through an absolutely harrowing and traumatising event (his parents' murder), but it's also undeniable that it changed him. Because there's something about Fadel that twisted dark and which he never quite got back. There's an anger, a hurt that colours every moment of his life; that enables him to look a man in the eyes, smile politely, and pull a trigger.

And at this point in their relationship, Fadel's understanding of Style is that he's... well, kind of innocent. Especially in comparison to Fadel and Bison, and even Kant.

Style, who easily reveals facts about his life which Fadel already knows (winning a car tuning competition), making Fadel doubt his own instincts about Style hiding secrets. Style, who also reveals the things Fadel doesn't know, like the tender and secret pain of a mother lost to cancer (which, now that I think about it, Fadel may also know) and his worries about a father who "lost his bearings for a bit" (which he probably doesn't). Style, who tries to comfort Fadel in his own loss by offering a safe space and a sympathetic ear.

Style, who doesn't just see Fadel for his tragedy, but is asking to be given the chance to accept all of Fadel as a person. Style, who not only wants but has the capacity, to be the only person Fadel needs to rely on. Style who, despite the sea of differences between them, understands Fadel on a level that is so very foundational.

I'm going to slightly segue and mention something that may not resonate with everyone, but really hit me in the gut this episode: because I lost my father when I was 16 after he battled cancer for 2 painful years. And this revelation about Style has totally shifted and coloured everything Style has done in a new light for me. Because not only does this totally explain Style's sometimes almost stubbornly childish demeanour (it's common in adults who've had to 'grow up' too early), but also why Style shows seemingly random flashes of insight and maturity when they are most crucial. Notably, Style has this almost instinctive sense of when he needs to back off a sore point with Fadel that I couldn't quite put my finger on until this episode.

I've seen a few jokes about Style's awkward subject change, but I've actually got a friend who I hold very dear to my heart who was one of the only people to give me a sense of normalcy and comfort when my dad was on his last few days and then at his funeral. And part of that was the instinctive way she would know when I needed to just. Not be a grieving daughter for a few minutes. To get a small respite from the overwhelming hopelessness and sense of impending loss. To get a moment to breathe and gather my strength, because knowing I was never going to see my dad again, or hear his voice, or hold his hand was tearing me apart back then. Sometimes she'd talk to me about college drama, sometimes she'd introduce a new kpop video to me, sometimes she'd just ask me what I wanted to eat and take me to go have a meal with her. And sometimes there really just isn't anything else to say other than "I'm sorry." Nothing you say - nothing you can say - is going to ever, ever make this grief go away, and in most cases, it was better when people (especially those who couldn't really understand) didn't try.

And I think if you look at Fadel very closely, there's a moment of genuine surprise (Fadel wasn't expecting the subject change at all) and then... something that looks like fondness mixed with exhausted relief. Because I don't think Fadel was ready to talk about his parents yet. This was honesty he wasn't ready to give Style, mostly prompted because Style himself had willingly been so vulnerable that a part of Fadel wanted to reciprocate. But further down that path lies not only his darkest memories, but also the connection to the part of his life he is not willing to share with Style yet. So this subject change is a relief, it's a blessing, but it's also Style knowing when he shouldn't push any further with Fadel's fragile heart.

Which brings me back to how well the episode's theme of trust (both deserved and undeserved) was woven in this episode. This is true on multiple levels and characters but I'm not even going to attempt to touch Kant in this post because... Lord, that is beyond me at the moment. Someone else needs to do that, pretty please, so I can reblog it and scream.

It starts, somewhat unexpectedly, with Fadel asking for entrance into the intimate spaces of Style's life.

So, this episode was not about Fadel's fear of his own feelings, desires, or even affection for Style - that appears to be fully addressed in episode 4. I think that's why we see Fadel be so physically affectionate and indulgent of Style in this episode. He's come to terms with his lust for Style's body (hence his comfort in initiating sex), he's accepted Style as his boyfriend and so can enjoy Style's playful teasing (still reluctantly, but Fadel is still an introvert even if he's mostly enjoying Style's rambunctious nature), and give into Style's (and Bison's and Kant's) cajoling with relatively little fuss.

He's even comfortable toying with the edges of revealing his darker and more sinister side by reminding Style implicitly about how violent Fadel has the potential to be. Recall that Fadel knows Style knows some of his capacity for violence; he just doesn't know how very thoroughly Style is aware of the full scale of this truth. It does help that Style evidences no actual fear and, in fact, looks positively euphoric. Like, buddy, pal, dearest one... please control yourself.

And yet something very, very telling is the way the show makes it a point to depict Fadel very deliberately getting drunk during the double date. Even before the date has started, Fadel looks to be about half a beer in and we see him constantly drinking, drinking, drinking during the whole date. From the conversation about trust he has with Style while Kant and Bison are being off key and adorable about it, to after Kant leaves and Bison gets worried. And we've seen Fadel cope with emotional and mental distress with alcohol before, so we know that Fadel is internally fighting some kind of very intense battle even as he is also very clearly enjoying moments with Style on this date (most notably when they're dancing by the bowling lanes and when Style asks him to go home with him).

So here's my take: rather than being about love, this is about Fadel fighting to hold onto his own philosophy on relationships and trust. Because as much as I do believe Fadel believes he's telling the truth when he tells Style that 100% trust is "impossible", I think it's clear that's not what he wants.

What he wants is to finish this last job so that the only thing he can't be honest about with Style will finally stop being a factor in his life. What he wants is to fully and completely reciprocate the openness Style seems to be giving Fadel. What he wants is to switch off his brain and let his heart lead for once, to stop fighting a battle he has no desire to win anymore, only he can't. Trust (not love) is Fadel's final frontier, and one which he can't quite give up in spite of himself.

Which is why I think Fadel intentionally gets himself drunk here. Because he wants to let his guard down around Style. He wants to open himself fully, he wants to "lay himself bare" for Style, he wants Style to know the full truth and accept him anyway - and he gets so close, but can't quite get there - because he doesn't know that Style already has.

When Style says this, Fadel thinks it's empty words, not knowing that Style has long passed the bar Fadel thinks is insurmountable. And just like Style was able to offer safety and reassurance to the vulnerability Fadel was showing in episode 4, Style instinctively gets to the core of Fadel's darkest fears again:

Style: One day, I'll be your 100%.

This isn't (just) a promise that Style will wear Fadel's stubbornness down, or that Style will be worthy of Fadel's 100% (which, already, has me in tears, ngl). Beyond that, this is Style promising Fadel isn't ruined for this; that it isn't too late, that whatever hurts and wounds Fadel has can be made whole again. That the kind of honest and all-encompassing and unconditional trust which Fadel says is impossible can, in fact, be his. That Fadel still has the capacity to trust and be trusted the way he so desperately, painfully longs for.

I know a lot of people have said Style in this episode is writing cheques he has no ability to honour, but I think it's more layered than that. Because in a very significant and profound way, Style is wholly deserving of Fadel's trust. Because in all the ways that Fadel has ever known he should want, Style actually IS worthy of his trust. Style knows the truth Fadel is hiding, knows what this man is capable of, knows the danger of being in his arms, knows the likely nonexistent future Fadel has to offer him -- and wants him anyway. Style is a man who would stare into Fadel’s darkness and reach out first. Strip away the complication of Kant being blackmailed and dragging Style into his mission, and Style is literally perfect for Fadel. He is exactly what Fadel wants (and possibly has wanted for a very long time). He is, in fact, exactly what Fadel needs to ever experience anything beyond the shadow of a life he's had so far.

But oh, the cruel narrative means that Style is also, simultaneously, painfully undeserving of Fadel's trust; and this is something Style is very much aware of. I think that's why he's trying so very hard to be worthy in all the other ways he can be. Style's awareness of what Fadel is hiding enables Style to (counterintuitively) be completely honest about his feelings for and about Fadel even as he cannot reveal his motivations. So he gives Fadel as much honesty as he can: offers the vulnerability of his own pain and hurts; the comfort of his true understanding and acceptance.

And just as Fadel's vulnerability in the abandoned factory was met with Style choosing a form of physical connection that prioritised Fadel's pleasure (it's made very clear that Style is jerking Fadel off and that all his focus in that moment was on Fadel, not his own pleasure), so too is this moment met with Style very intentionally choosing to worship Fadel's body with all the tenderness and genuine emotional weight that Style wanted Fadel to have in their first time in the storeroom.

Because, crucially, this was Style giving Fadel the chance to lay himself at least physically bare. This is the closest either of them can get to full honesty with the secrets they both are keeping. It's why Style tries so very hard to show the care and adoration and genuine feelings he has for Fadel. Why he makes sure that the vulnerability of Fadel getting himself as drunk and as relaxed and as trusting as Fadel can allow himself to be is tied only to gentleness and tenderness and pleasure.

Because Style actually knows that Fadel can't (and shouldn't) trust him in the way Fadel truly wishes to.

And as much as I believe that Style genuinely means this from the bottom of his heart, the horrifying full truth is that it is Style that has the metaphorical knife hovering over Fadel's chest. He is the one with the capacity to actually give Fadel a new scar that would truly matter. He is, in fact, the only one Fadel wants to fully trust -- and this, along with Style's compromised heart, makes it so that the circumstances will doom them both.

[p1harmonie]

P1HARMONY | 'S'AVIORS

[basimdasasonst]

just burnt down a tescos in bill cipher's honour (WHY IS A SINGLE SCRUB DADDY 5£ THAT'S RIDICULOUS)

[queenvhagar]

Allegedly Rhaenyra will carry a sword starting next season and it's per Emma D'Arcy's request? Quote from them in a recent interview:

“All the men in the show don’t have to worry about where they put their hands because they’re constantly holding the pommel of their sword. That obviously sounds like innuendo and you can do with that what you will but that is true. And all the rest of us are going, 'Where do we put our f—king hands?' Anyway, next year one hand is going to be taken care of. That’s what I want. I want a sword and I’ve been really clear about that with Ryan and I think that’s happening.”

While I understand that yes! Wouldn't it be cool for a female character to carry a sword and be a warrior queen and fight to change the world? Hell yeah! But is this Rhaenyra's character as it fits into the narrative of the story and universe in which she lives? Absolutely not, never was, and it diminishes the story to alter it so significantly yet again.

And for what? Is the creative team really so clueless about what to do for the writing that they're letting the actors run the show again, just like they've done in the past, including the Mysaria kiss that was never mentioned again and led to nothing? It's very clear that everyone in the creative team has fundamentally incorrect views about this story, it's characters, and the world it's set in.

The failures of this adaptation continue to truly astound and disappoint me in ways I did not think were possible.

[laura1633]

I have literally no idea how Max is so far in the lead in the championship given how the car has been this season. Generational talent.

But also given some of the shit that has happened to Charles this year and the car he is driving it’s amazing he is where he is in the championship!!

[yuseirra]

I’m lost, where should I do? A small alleyway split into twelve ways Where can I go to meet you again?

If it’s my destiny, if I can choose my destiny Even if I close my eyes and walk, I will choose the right path

The disappeared summer time The summer time that your eyes shone upon me I’m not just waiting, I’m walking to find you

The summer time will come back to me When the cold wind blows, I will close my eyes What’s the time? Summer time I’m not sad, I will dance Again, again

They say you can go to better places if you wear better shoes So I won’t stop until I find you

My lost summer time Will I find you after wandering through strange times? Is it still far ahead? When I get scared, I smile for no reason

Have you forgotten me? I hope your time has stopped in mine Slow the time, stop the time

I will run a bit faster Again, again, again, again

[hyade]

chengxian’s orpheus and eurydice motifs are going to slowly drive me to the brink of insanity but i’m cool with it

[draculiza]

jeans to y2k/tripp inspired skirt ݁ ˖ִ ࣪✩₊ ⊹˚

I thrifted some jeans recently, not knowing if they would fit me, but buying it anyway bc 1) it was €1 and 2) if it didn't fit I could surely make something with it.

turns out it was wayyy too small 😂 so I decided it would be perfect to make one of those tripp/y2k skirts with!

firstly I cut off the legs just above the crotch. I then tried it on, found it was too tight still, and added two strips of leftover fabric on either side. it fits perfectly now!

then I cut the remaining pant legs in even strips and connected them all to make one long strip. I folded ruffles of 5cm along the length, and sewed it in place before I sewed it onto the bottom of the skirt!

and just like that, I have a new skirt 𓆩♡𓆪 I might add some strips with d rings on it once I figure out the placement ^_^ but for now it's done

[toki-toro]

Reed Jones as Skimbleshanks in the og Broadway cast from 1982-1984

[discordiansamba]

"zuko, we have to go see this."

zuko really regrets listening to sokka. he doesn't know why he didn't just take a page out of his early days as the avatar and just bolt when he showed him the poster. it was for a play. about him. produced by the ember island players.

agni give him strength.

and that was before he'd found out it had been commissioned by his uncle during his absence. sure. leave with your sister for a couple of months on a journey to help her unlearn all the crap she'd been fed since she was a child. come back to. whatever this was supposed to be. he guessed he should be flattered that uncle had gone out of his way to commission a play about him, but...

"okay," sokka arched a brow, "-is it just me or, or is play Zuko a lot more... cleaned up?"

everyone rapidly nodded. zuko would be more offended if they weren't absolutely right. yeah, yeah. he'd let himself go on his avatar journey or whatever. but he guessed every time he'd actually been presented to the fire nation after that, it was after uncle had the palace servants make him look less like a.... how had sokka described it? a wandering vagrant?

"i don't think play aang actually knows how to... act?" katara frowned.

"he's doing his best!" aang protested. "but yeah. he does kind of suck, actually."

"apparently he's the producer's son," suki said, "-sorry aang. you're a nepotism hire."

zuko gave his friend a reassuring pat on the shoulder. that's rough, buddy.

[veevil]

the council of fish babies will now decide ur fate charles 🐟🐟🐟

THE SCREAM I JUST SCRUMPED THEY'RE SO STINKIN' CUTE!!!😭 bitey little fishy babies......