#i have my pickaxe upgraded to full

[dinosaur-mayonnaise]

they should add an alarm clock function to sdv. not for me, i wake up at 6am on the dot every morning. they should make an alarm clock specifically for pam so i don't have to wait FOUR HOURS to go to calico desert and can actually have a shot at finishing mr qi's quest.

[abyssal-cryptid]

Still thoughts about Tears of the Kingdom (SPOILERS)

The Great Fairies look like they want to eat the small man when they first emerge

Zonai Zelda is so cute

The memories bro the memories

THERE IS A SECOND GIANT HORSE

Why cant I put flowers in their mane

Please let me marry Zonai Zelda

Rauru is like lmao Zelda I wont die *dies*

Rauru dont give Zelda more trauma she has been through so much already

Rauru is like "we will put this all on Link"

HE'S BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH

I will write angry fanfic about this

Gleeoks are so terrifying what the fuck

You can upgrade your horses

What did they do to my beautiful dessert

They let me in as a man??? Noooo I was waiting to enjoy the complicated feelings of Link's gender again

Riju looks so good in this new look

Its so hot everywhere

Nooo my coins my coins!!!

Again doing shrines because I need hearts and stamina

I am a well enthusiast

I caught the golden horsie

Trying to find a perfect colored 5* speed horse is hard

Why are there gleeoks everywhere

IVE BEEN COLLECTING HORSE GEAR

Outfits my one true love

My horses are so cute

Let me customize the big horses pleaseee

I need to murder more deer for coins

Need to go deal with the Lurelin Village Pirates

DID I FREAK OUT ABOUT GIBDOS YET

I HATE THEM

Sorry I write these while Im not playing so I dont always remember to go in order

Im also writing fanfic because of course I am look at me

YOU CAN MAKE PICKAXES FROM THE MOBLIN HORNS

Im having so much fun

Shrines are becoming less awful

MY GOD I HATE GANONDORF

NOT SONIA

NOOOO

Wait how is Zelda the descendant of Sonia and Rauru if Sonia died without children

I saved this man's goats

Satori mountain is said to have endura carrots. I need them please

THE STICKY ARMOR LOOKS SO COOL

Im pro-all armors that show off Link's cool arm

I looked up how to get to Hestu and

I know what I need to do but I dont have the strength to do it

No joke theyre evil for this

How do I get gloom resistant armor

Playing the Zora main questline

The sky island has moon gravity!!

Where is Kass

The new dragon is a Light Dragon

Finally some good fucking food (All the apples on satori mountain)

Me: oh shit blood moon should be soon

Literally the next night: blood moon

Im a psychic

You are correct Roman there is so many apples here you do deserve some here you go baby boy

The checkmark you get for caves is if you killed the Bubbulfrog in there

I need to kill more

I want the full mystic armor

I have one friend who isnt into LOZ and I could tell all this to her but its no fun if she knows nothing about it

She does send me Zelda memes tho. 10/10 friend

Finally endura carrots

WAIT HOLD ON YIGA CLOTHES

OMG FINALLY

I love Malanya so much

Best god

I love Sidon but my god is he just in the way during the Water Temple

On the way, making me waste my bubbles, why do I have to be next to him to get the bubble

GET OUT OF THE WAY LET ME HIT THE CROCODILE

Useless

Hearing Zelda being referred to as the Sage of Time >>>>

Also I will not shut up about how pretty Zelda is

I have to draw her

Im a simple lesbian

My switch camera is full of screenshots of her

Every cutscene has her be so pretty

Sidon made me my own copy of him

And this man isnt marrying me

KING DOREPHAN DIDNT DIE

YAY

I dont think I could have handled that

WAIT SIDON'S BECOMING KING???

My camera roll is also full of screenshots of Sidon

NOO YONA BECAME QUEEN

DONT CALL HER BELOVED SIDON

SIDON STOP CALLING HER ENDEARING NAMES

SIDON

Yona is actually really sweet Im just having a moment

A sad day for Sidon lovers everywhere

King Sidon is handsome

He literally got on his knees to swear a vow to me and gave me a ring and married Yona

Yona is cute and I love her

Like her voice too

She's adorable

Maybe we can do a triad

Political(ish) marriage + one crackhead who attracts all the trouble

No because I still actively avoid spots where there used to be guardians

I was at a stable and went "no cant go that way there's guardians"

Nightmares wont give up ever apparently

ALSO HAVE YALL SEEN THE TIKTOKS OF LIKE

PEOPLE ABUSING THE BACKBAG KOROKS

There has been so many crucifications. The Korok Space Program. Fire is involved

I've also seen people build bombers and mechs

I love it

It seems so wild to me because I dont build in this game

If I can avoid it

I do use the dispensers but thats because its gambling

But all the material spots just get ignored

Nope

Dont care

Im going on Roman (my horsie)

But I love everyone is vibing

But still. I need easy mode

These posts are how I process the game btw. Been surprised that people have liked them. I will keep going because I have to process what I feel about things (doctor's orders)

[cutekittenlady]

So I'm playing stardew valley while sick right? And I'm upgrading some of my animal builldings, and while I intended to upgrade just my regular barn into a big barn, I realized I actually had all the money materials, etc to get the Deluxe Coop instead.

Now, just so you know, I'm doing a remixed bundle playthrough so I dont need goat cheese, duck feathers, etc. as those bundles have been replaced with others. So whether I get the Deluxe Coop vs the Big Barn is based more on what will become available to me as a result rather than what it unlocks.

So, like, since this is a chill playthrough (as in I'm not rushing to complete the community center, get all the upgrades, 100% the game, etc) and I'm not really bothering with farming much (did a bit of a challenge where I cant buy stuff from Pierre save for a few recipes, the bag upgrades, and maybe a bouquet if I decide to marry AND I'm using the forest farm) I figured it wouldn't hurt to put it to a vote and see what yall think.

I'm currently in Winter of the 1st year, my pickaxe is being upgraded to iron atm, I ended up with the master fishers bundle (so yknow finishing off that fish tank is going to take.... time). I have a full heart cow and 2 full heart chickens, etc.

So with that in mind;

[joytraveler]

21. Blasting Machine

The title comes up from the bottom of the screen in huge letters, and explodes to bits as soon as Start is pressed.

"Oops I'll clean that up, s'fine"

aroseahorseboy: good going! think you can cause any more damage in ten seconds?!

"I just tapped it! Some shoddy construction on this thing, I'll tell you what"

Bee52: You gon tap dat logo or what

The game is a top-down exploration game, like the original Zelda but with a pickaxe instead of a sword. The first screen is dominated by a huge machine, some sort of giant smelter? It looks like you can put things into it via a conveyor belt, but Bea doesn't have any items yet.

"WITH MY FACTORY. I CAN MAKE ERASERS. THERE ARE MANY THINGS THAT NEED TO BE ERASED."

berd_snurglar: bea don't do that voice again ever ok thx DueyDecimal: Little Queen Bea is a horrifying thought No offense to Bea!

Bea searches around, smashing rocks with the pickaxe for hunks of ore, and often just picking up junk on the side. Lots of old appliances, enough that she has no room in her inventory for the busted TV set when she finds it!

"Ohohohoh, I'm coming back for you baby! I think I know where this is going and the kid in me is real excited to blow things up!"

HNV: Pickaxe? Collecting and scavenging? Did someone invent Minecraft back in the 80s and now Notch owes them his fortune? Llord_Kuruku: if yes: good if no: we need a yes because that would be good

Even with the inventory full, Bea can still inspect things, and there's plenty of appliances left. Surprisingly, all of them have their name brands intact: Instant Pot, Sunbeam toaster oven, Whirlpool washer/dryer.

Syrupentine: This game reminds me of the Sears Wish Book for some reason

When she returns to the machine, sure enough, it's time to start blasting! You get a close up of each object as it's sent down to the blasting chamber to be hit with a beam of heat! The ray intensifies and the player is treated to a spectacular exploding (or melting) of pixels!

"WOOOOO, BLASTING MACHIIIINE!" Bea kicks up her legs, then scrambles as she almost knocks down her setup

"Is this all you do? I'd be pretty content about that actually"

DueyDecimal: It's very elaborage for a game where you just blow up old stuff! aroseahorseboy: what about those ore chunks you collected, can you blast those, or trade them for something?

"Looks like there might be some recipes? Not recipes, blueprints. Nothing I can do yet, but- oh." Blasting some objects yields bits of metal she can collect again. "all right, and it looks like I can upgrade the machine too! I dunno what bigger things I need to be blasting?"

TaichouSenseiKun: Blast your neighbor's car into several bicycles. It will be impossible to ride them all!

Bea's on her way back to get the TV set when something slithers across the screen quickly. "Whoo, okay, anyone see that? I am now worrying"

Syrupentine: We got so used to it being a sandbox game we forgot that there might be a plot!!

"Maybe if we don't move the plot won't be able to get us.." She warily walks to some bushes where the thing went and hid..

aroseahorseboy: please be a cute harmless friend please please please

[acquired GARTER SNAKE]

"Our first party member!"

Klickitat_Street: Oh, it’s an item. IT’S AN ITEM??

"Why is it an...........................Oh, you're not serious."

HNV: Deeply Disturbed Child Simulator 2015

Indeed, you can catch frogs down near the river, a bird if you're fast enough when it lands. A cat wanders about on one of the further screens but Bea just goes for the TV set.

"This is really, really kind of not okay with me?" She giggles painfully as she makes her way back to the machine. "Can I just keep them in my inventory and we can ignore the implications.."

aroseahorseboy: this is a long shot but maybe you’re supposed to fuse them with the ore chunks to make cyborgs or something I HOPE

"all right, let's.. let's try this one.." Bea groans. "Snake plus Three iron ingots.. I really hope this isn't gonna be that bad"

aroseahorseboy is just barely peeking through his fins to watch TaichouSenseiKun forces aro's fins apart aroseahorseboy has sunglasses on underneath HAH TaichouSenseiKun pulls them off aroseahorseboy: Ah. I see my plan has hit a snag HNV: I couldn’t even play Pikmin, what is with these games where you’re forced to harm little animals?

There's a tense, disturbing moment as the snake begins to rush around the blast chamber.. but the blast is just a big bright flash.

[Made SNAKE CHAIN lv.1!]

The new weapon is a scaly looking length of chain with a fanged tip. It can be used as both a whip and a grappling hook! "Whoah.. Oh this is kind of neat is it wrong I feel that way? Is this how it feels to be Dr. Robotnik?"

Glockroach: yeah cool but its still dead. I think? Syrupentine: It hisses when you swing it? I’m hoping that means it’s still alive... Baconnaise: Bea you did this you take good care of that snake chain try a bird next, everyone hates birds SugaGlydah: ;n; I like birbs but i get they're not for everybody Glockroach: Thank god, Sugar is here. Now run. SugaGlydah: why what- OH aroseahorseboy: that’s what my older relatives all want to do with my bird “that’s no pet that’s DINNER, guffaw haw haw” having them threaten to turn it into a gun or something would be better!

"Like this?" BLAST!

[Made CROW BAR lv. 1!]

"Oh, it's a tool, I guess. And a bad pun. Well, who could resist?"

DueyDecimal: I bet if you put them together it becomes a NUNCHUCKATRICE! HNV: So are you making weapons just to stockpile, or is there something you can do with them?

Two frogs can make a pair of boots, though, that let you hop over small gaps. And the TV, broken down, can be remade into a set of body armor! "I guess that's a good question, we should go back to see what we can do now!"

All around the machine are barriers that Bea can now overcome with her new tools: the Crow Bar lets her open up a boarded-up door in a decrepit house, and there’s a crevice west of this screen that can be jumped with the frog boots.

When the door is opened, monsters start to stream out— gray zombies with broken TVs for heads!

SugaGlydah also screms because good lord Baconnaise: That was some real terror right there Bea HNV: Watch! Yourself! Don’t fall off of the shelf!

"I'm, I'm-" She runs away as quickly as she can to the point she can hit them with the snake chain.

It’s not a strong weapon at all; one of them goes down after five hits, but there’s still six crowding around her!

DueyDecimal: What kind of animal can she turn into a shotgun?? Glockroach: Just smash two normal guns together, boom, shotgun

"Actually my pickaxe is better agains them than anything, oddly. However I am going to be dead soon I should probably flee"

HNV: Catch a bird, birdshotgun

One of the zombies gets a little running start and dashes at Bea's character, tackling him to the ground!

SugaGlydah: D: Baconnaise: Well crap Maybe they just want a hug Bee52: Dogpile on Bea! That's Dog + Atomic pile + Bee

Three more zombies launch themselves into the pile, and Bea's character is now being carried by the four of them-- not back into the house, but toward the spawning area, where the machine is located.

"HEYYY everyone! No hard feelings, right?? I mean how could I have known I was blastin' one of your heads before, ya know, we all make mistakes and if we fry we can never correct 'em!"

Baconnaise: I think maybe you were supposed to put the TV on your head to disguise yourself? Just a thought aroseahorseboy: wow this is Sierra Game brutal

Back at the Blasting Machine (as one would assume it's called), the zombies hold Bea's character in the air as one of them rummages through the junk heaps and finds yet another TV; then they load the player character and the TV onto the conveyor belt.

DueyDecimal: ONE OF US! ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

"Y'ever been really impressed by something and also hated it? HAAAAALP!!!" She's been jamming on buttons all this time, but it seems to just be a cutscene. "We can reset now right? All I did was make some hapless animals into implements of destruction, is that really a crime?"

burd_snerglar: i mean it depends on the state or province aroseahorseboy: if this is trying to make a point against body modification then I don’t appreciate it. if it’s making a point against having a broken TV for a head though... well i guess i have no argument there. Glockroach: Speak for yourself, kiddo. I still get three channels

The Machine activates, and Bea's character pops out as another grey-skinned zombie... and shuffles off with the rest.

There's no 'game over' screen, though; the game simply starts again, with a new character sprite entering the junkyard! This one seems to be a female character, or at least has twin ponytails.

"This has been really. Hm. It's really BEEN, hasn't it? It sure has been here and existed for us to see it. I hope. And I think it deserves a whole nother session to itself because it looks like there's a lot there, but DAMN."

aroseahorseboy: O!~! I get it i thought it would be a shooting game but it's BLASTING as in a BLAST FURNACE HNV: well, you know what they always say he who dealt it, smelts it

>Bea has left the room.

SugaGlydah: Bea wait! Glockroach: she's just going to take a shot I think HNV: I’d apologize but that’s kind of an accomplishment on my part

aroseahorseboy: dude I fcuking PITY whatever comes next, blasting machine rips

[w0lfskitten]

Minecraft Game Journal

I forgot to write this after I played.

2 Nights ago I started playing some modded minecraft with some friends, they've been playing on the server for a few days already before I joined. We're playing with the SevTech Ages mod and so far it's been really fun! Also this is my first time even hearing about this mod so I have no clue what to expect.

I started by spawning on the top of a huge mountain surrounded by blue tinted trees and spent some time configuring my settings and controls before one of my friends climbed the mountain and guided me to where everyone had set up.

I was brought into a small encampment where everyone had burrowed into the ground I was shown around then my friend showed me where him and his boyfriend had set up. I was lead back to the main encampment and told how to progress before being left to catch up and learn a bit as everyone else was busy with their own things and also trying to just survive.

I started out by getting myself some flint and knapping it to make myself a basic flint hatchet and flint pickaxe, I chopped down some trees and started on leaning the crafting system which is a little different to vanilla Minecraft.

I died a few time while learning and had to take cover in some of my friends' burrows. I eventually made myself a weapon so I could better protect myself against the now harder monsters of the night. Sometime around here I progressed up a stage.

I eventually built a fire and a grill so I could cook food to better sustain myself, by now I was getting the hang of how the modpack worked and was ready to start setting up my own house.

I found a nice flat area on the other side of some trees nears the main encampment and started getting myself settled by moving my fire and grill, chopping block, and work stump over to where I planned on setting up base, I also built some chests as my inventory was very full.

I started laying the foundation of my house with cobblestone then decided to build myself a mine as I was going to need a lot more resources. I dug myself a hole into the ground to collect more cobble and decided to upgrade my tools from flint to stone.

After a little bit of digging I came across something called Greenschist and instantly fell in love with the cobblestone so I started replacing the foundation of my house with it. I'm also surrounded by a lot of olive trees and so decided to have a look at their planks which turned out to be a beautifully smooth, dirty orange colour and decided to use them for my walls.

This is where I got off as it was getting late and I was also getting tired.

I'm playing again now so there will be another update on this soon.

In the play session I plan on finishing my house and prettying up my mine, I also plan on hopefully progressing up an age and starting a olive tree plantation.

[hahahahawk]

Coral Island - Final Words (for now)

I finished the temple offerings, but still have tools to upgrade and the museum to “finish”. But those are much more grindy goals, so I’m not as compelled to keep playing to check them off. My laptop can’t handle the game, so I can’t play on the couch, and my desktop isn’t really a cozy comfy setup.

Still thinking about seeing what an ocean% speed run would look like. I’m more likely to do that than continue my current save.

Though I suppose I should at least unlock auto chests and play around with them a little. On the one hand, they feel a little antithetical to the point of a farming sim. On the other hand, I hate that jars and kegs have to be tended every single day.

Also, Reddit got MAD at me for saying that I want to be able to postpone cutscenes, or turn them off on a day-to-day basis.

Like ‽‽??‽ !!

I’m trying to keep my 3-4 errands for the day straight in my head, I can’t handle people talking to me and interrupting my thought process! I’m essentially suggesting an ACCESSIBILITY improvement to the system and you’re telling me “cUt ScEnEs ArE tHe PoInT”. I know they’re a big part of the game, that’s why I want to *delay* them, not just always be skipping.

So the Coral Island subreddit is dead to me.

I wish I knew how bug traps worked. If I’m trying to catch a rainy day bug, do I need to set traps the day before? Or the day of? Some of the rare bugs are really annoying to find.

I want the farm computer to tell me upgrade/building costs for stuff. I’m fine going into town to actually buy them, but I hate having to run back and forth if I forget scrap or something.

Without ancient fruit, the greenhouse feels pointless. Without obelisks/golden clock, money feels pointless. I miss skull caverns, too.

Combat in this game is so unfulfilling anyway. I just love the SC gameplay loop of focusing on running around and blowing stuff up for 10 minutes and running home with a backpack full of loot. As it is, once you finish the mines and unlock all the elevators, ropes are pointless and I’m selling most of my stone. Bombs also end up being pointless. There aren’t many floors where the stone is dense enough, plus the drops are better with my mining/pickaxe perks.

I think I’d find the social aspects of the game more interesting if there were decision trees about who you decide to befriend changing how close you can get with other people. Like if I become close with Jim, Lily won’t want to be friends with me, because Jim is always rude to her. (Random example, I don’t know their actual relationship.) That type of lifelike mechanic would appeal to me. (Also if there were clues about loved gifts hidden in the world)

I’d also like friendship building if I could invite an NPC to follow me around for a couple (in game) hours and get loot drops from them.

This would actually be wicked cool! Say once you get to 5 hearts, you can invite them to “hang out”, and depending on where you take them and what you do, you get a couple pieces of forage from the area. Or if you bring them to the farm, you get a few extra seeds/harvest. If you go to the mines or fish or hunt bugs, you get extras of those, too. In town, they will buy you a snack or coffee!

I’d love to show Scott the deeper layers of the mines and protect him from the monsters 😅

In the end, I mostly enjoyed my time, but I’m still mostly going to be reaching for Stardew Valley when I want to play a farm type game.

I say my Coral Island fever is about to break, but I also said that 8 play-hours ago.

Actually, 8 play-hours ago I said that I had 10-20 hours of srs gameplay left. So I guess I’m about right.

Currently my scythe is in the upgrade shop for 4 more days to get it to the highest level. I’m all set to buy the auto-collector on Sunday, and after those two goals are met, I should be able to ‘relax’ in game somewhat.

I still have some goddess offerings to complete, and my museum is only maybe 80% done. Most of my tools are still gold, and only a few of my skills are at lvl 10.

(On second thought, I might get the auto-harvest tool instead of the one that collects animal stuff. I’m probably going to have crops come in while my scythe is at the blacksmith, and picking 80+ crops by hand will not be fun.)

The pacing on this game is very interesting compared to stardew valley. I think the highs are higher, but the lows are lower.

I have more thoughts, but need to go to sleep, and trying to sort them out would rile me up.

[bucket-of-amethyst]

Stupid things I did during my first month of playing Minecraft for the first time

I didn't know you needed to hold the button to mine. The area I spawned on ended up full of stripped trees because I kept trying to click it with an axe

Got confused between what right click and left click did. One of the first things I did on my first new world was punching a wild wolf by accident because of that

Deleted my first ever survival single player world after only like 30 minutes of playing on it because it was on Normal difficulty and i was getting wrecked. Made a new one on Easy

Didn't know you could craft sticks and believed the only way you could get them was from decaying leaves. Left a lot of half-bare trunks because of that

Killed a Pillager Captain just a short time after I first settled down, in a little village house that took me hours to find. The villagers were decimated

Built my first ever house near another village but didn't bother to sleep during the night. The villagers were decimated

Didn't know you could click on a leaded animal to free them from the lead. I would always tie it to a post first, and then punch the knot

Made a golden pickaxe

Saw a Witch for the first time after the sun had risen. Ran enthusiastically towards it because I thought it was a special mob like a wandering trader

Didn't know you could put tools straight into the enchanting table. Would always enchant books and hope good stuff would come out of them randomly

Thought you could pick up spawners with silk touch

Thought diamonds were such a special item that I kept them in my chests for an unreasonable long time, weeks after I started playing, before upgrading my tools for the first time

Got extremely lost after going into a forest to get wolves. Finally saw my place in the distance, I sprinted and ended up falling into a tiny hole full of water where all my new wolves drowned

Got extremely lost in a jungle. Ran into a Brown Panda, tried to lead it home with bamboo, and ended up falling in a tiny hole full of water where it drowned

Got a parrot and didn't understand why suddenly there were zombie sounds everywhere i went

Traveled thousand of blocks to get podzol from a far bamboo jungle. Learned later you could just grow giant spruce and it would appear around it

Whenever I needed stripped logs for a build, i would first place it on the floor, strip them, chop them again, and then put on the build...

Made first ever cake for a friend and placed it on the floor to show it to them, then innocently broke it without any of us eating a single piece :(

(feel free to add to this post some dumb things you have done if u feel like it dlkfjfh)

[secretpajamas]

a different kind of rush;

an Ezra x reader fic

pairing: ezra (prospect) x female reader

rating: explicit

genre: romance/smut/and they were roommates (oh my god they were roommates)

words: 2.7k

part 1 of 2

please scroll to the end to “content” if you would like to know specific smut-related content before reading!

---

Ever since the rush ended, mining work was somewhat scarce. Most aurelac miners—the ones who didn’t strike it rich, had already squandered away their profits, or ones that worked under flat-rate contract and not profit-share—had been swept up by the large-scale mining companies at the Ephrate.

You, unfortunately, had a falling-out with the head of your crew shortly before the end of the rush, and you were left out in the cold with little more than the clothes on your back and the helmet on your head. 

Now you operated alone, picking up what seasonal jobs you could. The ones that payed more tended to be more dangerous—you had a good sense as to which jobs would require you to stash extra knives on your person and demand your own private tent. That demand would often eat into your wages, but it was worth the peace of mind.

You were coming up on the last of your income from last season, which is how you found yourself scouting shuttle stations for work. Most of the bulletins at the larger stations were already picked clean. Now, at one of the smallest stations in the Reach, you hoped against hope you’d find a decent job posting.

Mostly scrap haul jobs—one odd request for a live-in massage therapist, and you knew what that was code for—but when you were about to give up and move on, one last blip on the readout screen caught your eye.

seeking experienced miner for short-term contract work (one season). small-scale operation, compensation negotiable. food and board included. helmet must be supplied by employee, O2 freely available. radio callsign alpha-echo-six, will be monitoring channel 07:00 – 23:00 universal time.

It was contract work, not profit-share, but what the hell. It was the best you had come across in your search so far and you doubted you’d find anything better. Checking the screen, you noted it was nearly 23:00—but you pulled out your radio, entered the posted callsign, and gave it a shot.

“This is radio callsign alpha-sierra-two, inquiring about job posting on shuttle station R-Twelve,” you said into your device. “Is the position still open?”

You waited for a minute in dead silence before you heard the line crackle to life. “Hello, alpha-sierra-two,” a thick drawl replied. “Long as you can hold a pickaxe steady, the job’s as good as yours.”

---

When you met him, the first thing you noticed was the shock of blonde hair. Nobody out in the Reaches had much use for cosmetic hair products, so it must have been a natural occurrence of some sort. It struck you as profoundly odd—but also incredibly attractive. You took a deep breath and swallowed down the nervous lump in your throat.

The second thing you noticed—well. It was a little hard to miss.

“Name’s Ezra,” he said with a sly smile, extending his left—and only—hand.

You weren’t sure which hand you were supposed to shake his with. You decided on your left, to match his. It took some fumbling, but you managed a firm shake in the end. You introduced yourself and then let your hands drop.

“Sorry if that was weird,” you said, “I’m not used to shaking hands with my left.”

Ezra chuckled darkly. “Me neither, sweetheart.”

Sweetheart. Normally, you’d hate hearing that come from a man you’d just met. It would’ve felt like a belittlement. But not with this man—it just seemed to roll off his tongue without a second thought.

Then, you realized the implication of his statement. If he wasn’t used to shaking with his left, the loss of his right arm must not have been too long ago. In this line of work, any number of horrors could have caused it. You decided it was best not to dwell on the subject.

“Allow me to escort you to your quarters,” Ezra said, gesturing for you to follow.

He brought you to the only man-made structure within sight. He must have built it himself. He zipped the entryway door shut and clumsily removed his helmet with one hand. You swiftly removed yours, glad to get the sweaty thing off of you for the first time in hours.

The tent was sturdy and spacious enough to feel a little less like a hovel and a little more like a home. It was certainly nicer than most accommodations you’d been given on mining contract work before. There were two beds—well, just cushioned mats on the floor, but definitely an upgrade from a cot—separated by makeshift room divider in the form of a bedsheet tied between two of the tent supports.

“I can fashion a proper partition if you’d prefer,” he said, “the kid was prone to nightmares is all. Didn’t like feelin’ shut off. Took that tent wall down the next day, put the sheet up instead.”

“Kid?” You prompted.

“She’s livin’ in the Ephrate this season,” he said. “Got a scholarship to that fancy Academy an’ everything. Awful proud of her.” You could hear the fondness in his voice.

“That’s nice,” you said,  “she must have a good father.”

Ezra chuckled, the sound tinged with something bitter. “Unfortunately, I do not hold such a grand title,” he said. “Her parents are deceased. I am but her guardian.”

Oh.

“Well, get yourself settled and join me outside when you’re ready,” he said as he went to retrieve his helmet. “It’s not as complicated as aurelac, but it’s still a bitch to mine.”

---

After just a few days of harvesting starstone, you were inclined to agree with Ezra’s statement. It was an absolute bitch. If you so much as tapped it at the wrong angle it would completely lose its integrity. Then, as soon at was harvested, it had to be soaked in a complicated solution of enzymes so it would retain its color—if you waited too long to get it in the enzyme bath, it would turn pale and lose its shimmer. How the hell anyone managed to transport it without massive damages, you had no idea.

You voiced this to him. He simply shrugged. “Not my problem,” he said. “The buyer is arrangin’ her own transport. We just have to hand it off.”

“What is this stuff good for, anyway?” You asked.

“It’s pretty,” he said, “and if there’s one thing I’ve become privy to in all my years of prospectin’, it’s that all sorts of folk will pay a pretty penny for pretty things. ’Specially if those things are rare.”

“There’s no accounting for taste, I guess,” you mumbled, looking at the bright green and orange whorls of glittery stone around the two of you. Ezra snickered at your comment, and the sound of the raspy, almost boyish laughter made your stomach do somersaults.

“I can assume you have no such affinity for pretty things, then,” he said with a grin.

“Well,” you started, looking into those pretty brown eyes of his, “now and I again I might.”

Ezra just arched an eyebrow before returning to sifting through rock.

---

You and Ezra fell into an easy rhythm. He would wake up early to prepare the enzyme solutions for the day’s mining. You both mined as long as it stayed light out, going back into the tent as needed for a ration bar or a toilet break or just to rest your weary head for a minute. After dark, it was your responsibility to prep the filters and O2 tanks. As days turned into weeks, you found yourself finally adjusting to the man’s odd manner of speech, and even found yourself laughing at his dry wit.

And if you were honest with yourself, you were harboring quite the crush.

But this was job, damnit, and even if it wasn’t profit-share, Ezra payed far more than any other boss you’d had for contract work. You weren’t going to compromise that. A sexual relationship with someone who was technically your superior was never a good idea—you didn’t want to get yourself kicked off this planet without a full season’s pay.

This dwarf planet’s climate wasn’t as harsh and unforgiving as the Green. The air wasn’t breathable, which is why oxygen tanks and helmets were necessary, but there was nothing like the deadly moon’s dust you remember from the rush days. The one complaint you had: the weather was always hot, some days painfully so, and today was one of those days. You had both decided to cut the workday short and stumbled back to the tent, sweaty and exhausted.

You wrenched your helmet off of your head and immediately planted yourself in front of one of the air circulators. You heard Ezra’s helmet fall to the floor with a clank and several frustrated grunts as he began to unzip his suit. You knew by now not to offer help—even though it took him a long time to dress and undress, it seemed to be a point of pride to him that he do it himself.

You shucked off your own suit, leaving yourself standing in a sleeveless top and shorts. Cooler now, but still utterly worn-out, you all but flung yourself on your cot. You rucked up your shirt so you left as much of your skin exposed to the air as possible without stripping down to your underwear.  “Too fucking hot,” you grumbled.

“Preachin’ to the choir, birdie,” Ezra replied, finally kicking his suit off and out of the way. “Pardon my selfishness, but I’m inclined to take the first shower.”

You groaned, but you had taken the first shower yesterday, so you didn’t protest. Ezra took long showers—you guessed it was because of his arm situation—so you’d have to wait to get all the sweat and grime off. But hey—at least you had a shower. In some of your past gigs you had to wipe yourself down from head to toe with a wet rag.

The shower was attached to the main tent on the east-facing wall: your side of the sheet. Ezra walked by you to access it—he was shirtless, clad only in the pair of black compression pants he wore under his suit. You couldn’t help but sneak a look at him from where you lay—you had come to appreciate the broad expanse of his back and shoulders, his skin kissed all over with fading white scars, the little paunch of his stomach, and the dusting of dark hair that began below his bellybutton and traveled down beneath his waistband. He sighed and stretched before unzipping the partition and shuffling tiredly to the shower.

Seeing him half-naked had lit a spark in your belly. You swallowed thickly, your mind trailing into territory you usually reserved for late at night when Ezra was asleep. Yes, you were attracted to him—but it was more than just a baser instinct. Whenever you got yourself off in the past—or gotten someone else off—it had been quick and quiet and easily forgotten, something to take the edge off, to scratch an itch. You never really fantasized about romance or, Kevva forbid, love, but the longer you spent with Ezra, the more you caught yourself wondering what he would be like as a lover—if he’d hold you gently against his chest after, if he’d press a soft kiss to your forehead, if he’d tell you that you were beautiful.

You scoffed at yourself. Fantasies like that were for naive girls, not for a grown woman, especially not a world-weary miner who knew that men in the Reaches weren’t like that.

But maybe Ezra was different. He was already far different than any man you had ever met.

And maybe you could allow yourself the fantasy.

As you listened to the hum of the shower running, confident in your assertion that Ezra wouldn’t be out for some time—you snaked one hand down under the waistband of your shorts and underwear, rubbing at yourself in the way you usually did—in the way that would make you orgasm quickly. If you drew things out, that just gave your brain time to strike up ridiculous fantasies of Ezra making love to you.

Making love. There you go again. Why can’t you just call it fucking? But what you were thinking of wasn’t fucking—would he gaze into your eyes as he filled you? Would he whisper to you how good you felt, call you sweetheart like he did the first day you met—and nearly every day since?

Damn it, you said you wouldn’t think about it, but here you were. You rubbed yourself faster, just hoping to get this over with and move the fuck on—

“Shower’s all yours,” you heard Ezra’s voice ring out, and you froze. You didn’t breathe, didn’t move a muscle. How had you not heard the water turn off? How long were you daydreaming?

There was no way Ezra didn’t know what you were doing. You didn’t even have the plausible deniability of having a blanket over you. You were so fucked.

You moved your head a tiny fraction to look at Ezra. He had a threadbare towel around his waist, precariously held by a twist-and-tuck at his hip. He was staring at you, wide-eyed and stock-still, as droplets dripped down his forehead from his still-wet hair. You weren’t sure he was even breathing.

Neither of you moved.

Then, Ezra licked his lips, flicking his eyes from your face down to where your hand was still stuck in your shorts, then back to your eyes again. Slowly, deliberately. He quirked an eyebrow at you.

You hitched your hips up a little under his gaze, almost involuntarily. He watched the movement with intensity.

Fuck. Was this really happening?

Ezra brought his hand up to his mouth, rubbing at his lower lip with his thumb. He looked to where your hand was trapped between your legs, and gestured with a nod.

With your heartbeat hammering against your chest, you began to move your hand again, eyes locked on Ezra. His breath hitched as he watched you touch yourself, his eyes intent on your body, pupils blown wide and dark.

You rubbed at your clit, your legs tensing as you brought your hips up to press into your hand. Unable to help it, a moan escaped your throat, and Ezra answered back with a low hum of his own.

Hearing him respond to you made your body light up like lightning. You closed your eyes and sucked in frantic bursts of air. The oppressive heat around you was unbearable, the pressure building in your core even more so. Your pulse roared against your eardrums as you frantically worked at your clit, almost sore now, needing to come now more than ever, needing that release—

“Fuck, sweetheart,” Ezra said, and the sound of his voice had you coming hard, thighs shaking. You chased your high as long as you could, clit nearly rubbed raw, until you winced at the overstimulation, dropping your hips back to the bed and letting out a heaving sigh. Almost in a daze, you opened your eyes, chancing a glance at Ezra. He was staring down at you as if he’d seen Kevva’s gates open up before him. He was also visibly tenting his towel, holding onto where it was tied at his hip in a vise-like grip.

“I’m,” you started, catching your breath, “I could use a shower now.”

“As very well could I,” Ezra replied as he shifted his weight back and forth, voice strained, “an’ a cold one at that. But I’d be remiss to waste the water.”

“Sorry,” you mumbled. About the shower or the impromptu peepshow, you weren’t sure.

“Quite alright. But don’t be alarmed if you emerge to find me in a similar position when you’re done in there,” he remarked, gesturing to the shower with a jerk of his head.

You planted your face in your pillow, mortified beyond belief, hot shame washing over you. Ezra simply chuckled.

“No reason to be embarrassed, sweetheart,” he said. “Close quarters make for... sticky situations such as these.”

“Shut up,” you grumbled as you stood up, walking past Ezra to make your way to the shower.

What the fuck just happened?

---

a/n: this was supposed to be a quick smutty oneshot (oops) but it was getting long so I’ve split it into two parts! Part two should be out by the end of this week.

content: masturbation, voyeurism (but is it voyeurism if both parties are aware of the voyeur-ing?)

READ PART 2 HERE

[emblazedwinter]

Welcome everyone, it's Part 23 of things my family—or people in general—say in response to my tics! TRIGGER WARNING: Recently my main tics have been about genitals, more specifically, amab genitals. If this is something that makes you uncomfortable, I recommend skipping this one. Below the cut has talk of drugs, and a joke that implies sexual actions.

Me: *Points at dog* It’s a baby! Wow! *Pats head* Hello!

I don’t know how, but the way she was sitting just gave off these vibes as if she were saying, “Yes, I am a baby, I’m glad you noticed. Thank you for patting my head, Human.”

§

Me: AHHH!

Dog: *Stares*

Me: Hello! *Sticks out hand* Come here! Love me!

Dog: *Wags tail*

Brother: *Walks in room*

Me: It’s a penis!

Brother: Hi.

Dog: *Goes under kitchen table*

My dog is basically done with my Tourette's at this point

§

~Playing Stardew Valley with my girlfriend~

Stacky: I’m going to upgrade my pickaxe.

Me: Penis!

Stacky: No, my pickaxe.

Me: Penis!

Stacky: I know they both start with a “p,” but–

Me: Penis!

§

Me: Penis!

Dad: Vagina.

Me: Pussy!

§

Me: Love me! Fuck!

Sister: I do, damn it!

§

Me: *Rinsing out the bathroom sink* It's a penis!

Mom: No it isn't.

Me: It's a penis!

Mom: It's not a penis.

Me: It's a penis!

Mom: Why are you arguing with me?

Me: Cause there's a penis in that sink, damnit!

§

Me: *Points at Uncle #5* He’s my drug dealer!

Aunt #5: Good to know. Do you think he’ll give me some?

Me: Well, you’re married to him, so technically they’re your drugs too.

§

Sister: It's Friday tomorrow, right?

Me: Penis! Uh... Yes.

Mom: It is Friday tomorrow. Not Penis Day, it's Friday.

Sister: *Mumbles* Penis day, Friday, there's no difference.

Mom: What'd you say?

Sister: Nothing!

§

First | Previous | Next | Full List

[archaickobold]

Things I love that my qpp did when first playing stardew valley

-refused to leave the farm and instead tried to clear it all as soon as physically possible

-seriously they had so much wood and sap so fast

-didn't even plant seeds until halfway through spring

-h a t e s Willy. I have never heard them despise someone so viscerally.

-absolutely loves Sebastian and is sad that his gifts are so hard to get early game

-keeps asking me things, which I then have to look up on the wiki for them

-started out hating shane, then apparently did some research into his heart events and has now adopted him

-is so confused about the community center

-wants a junimo for a pet

-is very sad they can't have a junimo for a pet

-named their farmer after one of their ocs, and then named their cat after my oc that is in a qpr with their oc

-repaired the bridge on the beach on like. Day 3.

-had a full inventory when you were supposed to get the rusty sword and had to suffer with just the scythe for so long

-was only going to the mines in order to upgrade the axe/pickaxe so they could fully clear the farm

-has died in the mines. many times.

-goes to bed at like 1:50 or just passes out from exhaustion

-also goes to bed at like 2 pm because they've used all their energy clearing the farm. There is no in between.

[traceemerald]

-November 24th, Thaumaturge’s Journal, Entry 2-

I need a book, but not just any book, I need a particular book that I can get by putting salis mundus onto a bookshelf, but I don’t have a bookshelf.

So I’ll start today by looking for sugarcane again.

My search this time went a lot better than last time, I not only found sugarcane, but I also found cocoa beans, which I probably won’t ever use, but I’ll grab them anyway.

On my way back home, I found some cinderpearls, which are a plant added by thaumcraft, I forgot to take a picture of them before I grabbed them, but luckily I found another group of them to take a picture of.

I only had 2 leather, so I could only make 2 books with the sugarcane I got, so I have to go kill another cow.

Before I went got more leather, I planted some sugarcane and cocoa beans, sugarcane can only grow in the summertime, cocoa beans can grow anytime.

I actually had to kill 5 cows, because the first 4 didn’t drop any leather.

Here’s the book I needed, the thaumonomicon, this book will serve as my guide from this point forward.

The first thing it tells me to do is use some salis mundus to upgrade my crafting table into an arcane workbench, so I did that.

The next step is to craft a thaumometer, which requires 1 of each type of vis crystal, but I only have 4 different types, so I’ll need to go mining to find the yellow and white ones.

The mesa cave seemed to have plenty of crystals, so I’ll go back there.

I found some aer vis crystals, I didn’t bother taking a picture of them since they’re just the other ones, but yellow, then I had to go home because my pickaxe was almost broken.

Once I was home, I made 2 new iron pickaxes, and since I have plenty of iron, I decided to make some armor, I won’t take a picture, because I’m pretty sure you know what armor looks like.

I was going to go back to the mesa cave, but I found another, closer cave, and decided to go in there, instead.

That other cave didn’t have any crystals in it, so I’m going back to the mesa cave.

I headed back home after getting some ordo vis crystals, which were the last ones I needed.

I’ve now crafted a thaumometer, which I immediately started using to scan things in my general area.

After reading a bit more of the thaumonomicon, I think I’ll start with alchemy, since the other thing I could learn is theorycrafting, but that will probably require a lot of paper, which I don’t have a lot of.

Also, I’ll just be calling the thaumonomicon The Book from now on, because I don’t want to keep writing it’s full name.

Anyway, The Book says I need to put salis mundus onto a cauldron, so I did that, now I have a crucible.

My next task requires glowstone dust, I do not have a nether portal yet.

I unlocked auromancy, though, so let’s see what that’s about.

Now I need to travel to the lowest depths of the world, as well as the highest peaks.

Maybe infusion will have something I can do.

Infusion seems pretty easy, the first things I’ll need are just wool and string.

I’ll probably need a sheep farm before I can start learning infusion, so I’ll take a look at theorycrafting.

It turns out I don’t have to craft a theory to unlock the thing past theorycrafting, so now I’ll take a look at celestial observation.

Celestial observation looks like it’s just a theorycrafting thing, so I’ll do that later.

I think I’ve written enough today, I have a feeling the entries to this journal will be longer than the entries to my last journal, since I’m pretty familiar with vanilla minecraft, but not very familiar with thaumcraft.

-End Journal Entry 2-

[teamyellremade]

GOOD LORD I JUST HAD A SCARY ENCOUNTER IN STARDEW VALLEY

so it’s getting late in the skull caverns, my inventory is full of loot and stuff from a day in there

i find a shaft and hop down it, take a bit of damage and plan on healing when i get down.

BUT NOPE THERE ARE LIKE FOUR MUMMIES RIGHT THERE

i kill them, they take me down a bit of hp, but i throw a bomb to kill them for good.

HOWEVER...i failed to properly calculate the distance between myself, the bomb and the wall and i fuckin DIED

i wake up in the clinic and the game is like “you suck give me 1000g oh and you also lost 6 items from your inventory”

and i IMMEDIATELY panic bc i have my iridium pickaxe which i upgraded like three days ago, my cool sword i sacrificed a prismatic shard for, like 6 iridium ore and 9 omni geodes in my inventory (as well as 2 magnet rings i was hoarding bc i thought it was funny i found two right in a row)

i check my inventory, IT’S ALL THERE. SO THANK YOU STARDEW VALLEY FOR BEING KIND AND MERCIFUL 

[sirens-gemberry]

You’ve Unlocked a Cutscene from “Soren Ren-egade Sharp”!

Continue?

>Yes

No

Warnings are for the following: Blood, Violence, and slight alcoholism! Stay wary, Farmer! 

There's a couple reasons why my sister never let me into the mines. For one thing, it was really fucking cold. Like- holy shit my fingers are numb kinda cold. For another thing, I wasn't very strong. So mining was always a bit of a chore for me, compared to my impeccably strong and equally strong willed sister. 

Yet, when I found out she had gotten sick not too long after my arrival to the Valley, I took it upon myself to venture down for her. She protested briefly, and we argued about it for a good hour or two, before eventually sighing and shaking her head. “... Fine, it might help you get stronger anyway. Just stay within the first 20 floors at most, okay? Don’t forget to be home before midnight, either.” Yasmine had said to me, as her friend- and at the time crush- Harvey was preparing medication in the next room over. He was humming a tune under his breath of a song I couldn’t quite place. I nod, a determined grin on my face and the usual pep in my step as I wished my sister well and turned to head off for the task ahead of me. Yasmine’s quest was simple. Get 24 copper ores and bring them to Demetrius. Now, this particular week we were a bit short on copper, as we had been upgrading our tools for the next season. Normally my more experienced sister took on this task, but with her being basically forced to rest- that left me in charge. Despite as confident as I sounded to her, I was actually a bit nervous. After all, there were more than enough times I had seen my sister covered in bruises and bite-marks. First time I saw this, I joked that she hooked up with some dwarf in the mines, before she briefly socked my shoulder and gave me a bruise to remember. She briefly told me of her expeditions in the mines, and all of them sounded fascinating- if not terrifying. Not to mention unhealthy, as she had far too many stories of these trips for just staying a little over a year.

That was a few hours ago. Right now, I’m currently resting my head against the elevator wall, going down… down… and further down, all the way to level 20. She had floors up to level 65, and I was half tempted to challenge myself further by going down to floor 30… But I figured going 5 floors beyond her maximum requirement was more than enough to make her proud of me. I am stronger than she thought, just watch! I yawn, softly, shaking my head. I should've gotten more sleep last night. I reach into the bag, taking out an energy drink I snatched from my sister’s fridge on the way out before chugging the whole thing down. If it killed what little my immune system could deal with, eh, whatever. The bell dinged just over my head, drawing me from my thoughts as I slipped the now empty can back into my bag before trudging onward into the dark mines. Only a few lights shone overhead, and unfortunately for me, I only had a few torches. ‘If I want to be able to see well, I’ll have to carry what I have.’ I mused to myself ‘Hold the torch up, and keep pressing forward.’ So that's exactly what I did. I hum softly, occasionally setting the torch down beside me to take my pickax out and swing at a copper filled stone rock, grinning when I found a few pure pieces and sticking them into a smaller bag I brought with me for good measure. I hear a gentle squelch behind me, and I frown. ‘Monsters. Why wouldn't there be monsters?...’ I think with a dead panned expression, taking out the rusty sword my sister had given me a few days after I moved here. I figured I would use it more if some vines got in my way, but I sigh and twirl the sword in my hand before whirling around and swinging the damn thing… straight into the gut of a small, green slime. “...Oookay that looks vaguely… unpleasant.” I say to it, gently retracting the sword. I stick out my tongue with a slight groan to see some slime had stuck to it, before yelping and blocking its path when it jumped at me. “Damnit- okay you want death?! Then death comes for you!” I swing it again, harder this time, and it chops clear through the slime, yet it hardly seems phased. I sigh, and shake my head. Stupid liquid-y slime… whatever. I had to get this done, and get out.   It took a few more minutes of me aimlessly flailing about with this rusty ass sword, but the slime finally fell apart into a goofy puddle at my feet. I sigh, shifting my boots until they feel relatively normal on the ground again, and keep walking.

A lot of the trip ended up in similar escapades, mining with a slight struggle to pick up the pickax over my head, and dealing with slimes and occasionally what I referred to as ‘the rock crab’. Sure, they dropped decent loot, but it felt unnecessary. Eh, I just needed to get what I came for and dip. I had to remain focused on the task at hand, or it'd be more than likely I'd never get out of this pit. With that in mind, I kept going. So much so, that I didn’t notice I passed my original goal. Or if I did- I wanted to keep going to challenge myself further. It must have been around level 28 or so, after going through and collecting the last of the ore I needed, that I decided to head further down. Who knows, I might find something pretty for lil’ Abigail. She did mention in passing that she liked amethysts… That was… likely one of my many stupider mistakes. That list may be long, but the point still remains. It was mostly a normal room, wide and full with rocks along its edges. Monsters sat in the middle, as if waiting for my arrival. I sigh, swinging my pick until it was firmly strapped to my back, as I did with most of my tools, before drawing the sword from my side. “Alright y’pricks, I've already dealt with fuck knows how many of you lot, so let's cut to the point.” I growl to myself, eyes leveling with the group before sighing and charging forward with what burst of energy I could muster. Dodging, blocking, and slicing. I've learned better techniques with the hours I’ve been down here at this point, and I've learned to try and keep my ADD to a damned well minimum if I didn't want to get bit. Still, I take considerable damage, especially when a bunch of slime basically glued my one foot to the floor. “Oh for fucks sake-!” I swear, trying to slice away the slime as I get smacked repeatedly by the other enemies around me, and underneath my feet. Once I dislodge myself, I huff, reaching into my pocket. I didn't want to use this since, Yoba knows I have No clue how this works, but it had to be done if I wanted to finish this up rather soon. I take out a small cherry bomb, it was hardly the size of my palm but packed considerable damage. Lighting the fuse, I chucked the bomb into the crowd of monsters, before leaping back a few feet. “Fire in the- fuck you lot!” I yell, right before I cover my ears to avoid dissociating after the explosive goes off, the ground shaking slightly from the effort. I remain there for a few moments to catch my breath, and to let my over-sensitivity slowly ebb back down to functionality. A few pebbles had gotten in my hair from the small tremor the cherry bomb had caused. Once I manage to open my eyes, I see that the crowd of monsters have all but fallen apart. I sigh to myself, more in relief than anything, as I stagger back over to gather what loot can be mustered. I also shook my hair, trying to free the dirt and rocks that had collected, but to no avail. I’d need to shower when I get home.  

However, when I look up, a thin green smoke had begun pouring in. I raise my eyebrows, rubbing my eyes to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating, before coughing. Ugh, this certainly didn't seem healthy. I recall thinking about how it was getting harder to see, as it was dark down there as it was without a fog clouding the caves. I wave it off as nothing unusual, shaking my head and grabbing my pickax to look for the exit. It was then I feel something shove hard into my back, knocking me to the floor. “Ow, what the hell?!” I turn to look behind me, only to hear a distinct buzzing as something very large, and very wasp like flies right over my head. I couldn’t quite make out what exactly it was, but that’s the best description for those cream colored pricks. My pulse begins to race. If there was one thing that scared me half to death, it was wasps. Wasps, yellow jackets, the likes. Bastards stung me more times than I can count. Honey bees are little sweethearts, though… I digress. Breaking from my train of thought, I groan and wipe some blood off my face, flinching gently as a small shot of pain echos from my lip. “....I repeat, what the hell….???” I get back to my feet, facing the way the bug had originally came from, only to be shoved again from behind, knocking me back over. I swear to myself, for what must've been the upteenth time that evening, as I finally get a good look around me, holding up my torch just enough to project the light around me. My face drops in abject horror. ‘Holy hell- there must have been dozens of these things, coming from fuck knows where!’ It was after I thought that, that the whole mine descended into absolute chaos. Every time I tried to get back up, I would only get shoved back down, getting more hurt in the process as rocks scratched my cheeks, hands, legs and arms. That's not even to mention that this haze I had that was clouding the air was causing me to constantly cough and wheeze. Damn, it's times like this I hated being an asthmatic. Still, I had to force myself up. I had to just get to the ladder and get down… No, no that'd just get me killed. I had to get out of these mines, quickly. I had to get to the elevator. Covering my eyes, and using my rusty sword to block any oncoming onslaught, before opening my eyes as I charged towards the elevator’s exit. Still, I kept losing balance briefly from all the nudging and pushing; stumbling left and right until I reached and grabbed a firm hold of the edge of the elevator. “Gotcha-!” My victory is short lived, as I yelp when there’s a feeling a sharp pain going through my back. One of those wasp fuckers...they had a vicious bite, leaving me feeling drained between the throbbing pain and the likely wound that had opened as a result. I coerce myself to whip around, slicing the bug creature with what little effort I could manage, before backing up into the elevator and slamming the hilt of the sword into the top floor button. There was a distinct thud of the bugs as they slammed uselessly against the mine’s elevator- though notable dents in the metal doors leave my tension unmoving.

As the doors closed, I took a deep breath- trying to summon any energy to move. Or to, at the very least, calm the hell down. I felt it, very clearly as I slid my sword back into its little compartment in the side of my belt, the pounding of my heart that rang in my ears and left me feeling exhausted from head to toe. U g h. ‘Going beyond 25 was probably a mistake.’ ‘Going into the mines was a definite mistake, too.’ Still, I push myself to my feet once I hear the ding of the elevator, making my way outside. It was raining densely by then, and I had to keep myself from limping too badly. The sun had since mostly set, save for a gentle light that poured in from elsewhere- covered by clouds. The pain in my back was growing, and I had to stifle a whine through a stern bite to my lip. Which, quite frankly, only made me whine more from the cut there from earlier. I just wanted to go home and recuperate, however… There was still something I had to do. I had to make sure one of my friends didn't get too worried about me, after all- that’s the last thing I needed to top off the evening. Once I made it back into town, I sighed and swung my bag over, reaching through until I got some gold; putting it into a small satchel. I groan a bit from the pain still flaring from my back, but I’m honestly too afraid to survey the damage right then & there. Frankly, I probably should have, but the pain was making my head fuzzy, and out of sync with the rest of me. I’ll deal with it at home later, before Harvey notices. If he's even still with Yasmine, that is. At least, that’s the hope for the rest of this evening. With that thought in mind, I sigh, bracing myself for some sort of inevitability as I limp my way into the Stardrop Saloon.

The usual scene greets me when I walk inside. A few waves and a quiet laugh, though it does fall eerily quiet rather quickly once everyone seems to notice the state I’m in. Beaten to shit, and by then dripping from the rain. I wring out my shirt just a slight bit, before meandering over to the bars counter. Gus waves from the counter but immediately hesitates- likely noticing the bruises starting to flower along my face- not to mention the cuts I can feel pulsating along my cheeks and nose. He looks, wanting to ask… But says nothing as I sit briefly on one of the bar stools, setting the satchel onto the counter. “The usual, please Gus.” I mutter quietly, as is the usual routine I've done each week since I've moved here. He nods, looking back to Emily- who knew my order down pat by then. She turns to smile widely at me, before gasping. Damnit. “What happened?!” “Ah, got into a bit of a tousle. Don't worry about it, I’ll be good tomorrow.” I shrug off the concern with a lighthearted laugh, even if the fatigue was showing in my tone. Gus seemed to want to drop it, as if he could see the desperation of not wanting anyone else's concern on the matter in my eyes, but Emily persisted. “Soren, at least let me clean off your cheeks, your bleeding-!” She sighs, taking a spare cloth in her hand and reaching over the counter to dab at my face. My nose reflexively scrunches against my face, but I don't bother moving my head out of the way. “Emily..” I sigh to myself, gently pushing her off me once she's finished with my face. “I'm alright. Don't worry. Plus, I already told you-” I give a jokingly goofy grin, “You can call me Ren.” I reassure her, as she gives me a very concerned look through the tangled mass of electric blue hair. “...Okay… But be careful, okay? I don't need you getting hurt.” She demanded, pointing sternly to me. I defensively raise my hands up jokingly with a laugh, but nod all the same. My thoughts swim briefly between trying not to focus on the pain gently pulsating from my spine, and the dizzying feeling from probably being more exhausted than I gave myself credit for. “I’ll be careful, don't worry.” I say after a few minutes, as she turns away to work on my order. She turns back to me, handing me the glasses as she leans closer, whispering gently in my ear. “...You're gonna scare the crap out of him, you know.” She said, raising an eyebrow her eyes flickering over towards the other side of the bar, “I know you've been trying to at least befriend him but..” My eyes follow briefly, before I give a slight shrug. It wasn’t that big of a deal. “I've got it under control, Em. It's chill.” I smile reassuringly, getting up off my stool with both glasses in hand, before strolling over towards the fireplace and leaning against the brick right next to it. I smirk a bit, noticing that Shane- the same person I've been stubbornly trying to befriend for a few months now- has been spacing out into the mug he was drinking out of. I nudge him gently with one of the mugs I offer to him, and he snaps out of it rather quickly. “Hey, what gi-” He stops in what he says, blinking a bit out of probably buzzed confusion. It takes a moment, before finally taking a look at my state before rolling his eyes, relaxing just a slight bit. “Okay, what the hell did you do?” He said as he snatched the mug from my hand, setting the empty one aside in place of drinking the one I had given. I shrug my shoulders, staring at the foam bubbling out of my cup. “Ah, just spent a little too long in th’ pits of hell itself.” I joke, winking playfully. He scoffs. “Why do you still even bother to joke around with me and act like we’re friends?” He grumbled, and I smiled with a bold determination set in my expression. “Since I think you're probably super nice, I mean... beyond that rude shell of yours.” I respond with confidence, despite the uncertainty that lingered in my mind. What I usually expect was a scoff, or a roll of the eyes, or some other dismissive gesture, but instead he laughs. Not at me, for once, but what I had said. I was more-so used to it, from other people in my life. I can be a bit of a joke, that I knew. “Soren, you are a different kind of naive.” He replies with between chuckles as he settled down, taking another hearty drink until the mug was empty. I did the same, leaning back further until I was sitting down. ‘Yeah, I know that, too.’ I refused to voice my thoughts aloud, though, instead crossing my arms. “Maybe so. But hey, it's worth a shot, innit?” I smile, less bold but with a slight softness to it. I was growing weary, eyes fluttering as my body tried to force sleep. I could tell, from the silence that took over for a few moments, that he was debating on whether or not he was going to actually question all the cuts along what he could see. He must have settled on not bothering, sighing and shaking his head. “Whatever you say, kid.” He muttered, to which I pout, just a bit. “I’m not a kid!” I immediately protest, arms flinging out just a bit in overzealous expression. “You're like 4’5”. You're a kid.” “4’10”, first off, secondly I’ll fight you, mister!” I let my offence fade, giving a mischievous smirk, and putting my fists up jokingly. He shakes his head a bit. He tended to do that a lot around me. What can I say? I specialized in being a bother, and an annoyance. I’ve come to accept that.   “You would be knocked out in one hit for starters, missy, even if you weren't beaten to shit.” Shane replies, sighing as I shake my head to dismiss the remark. “Oh whatever!” He hides his amusement behind a slight smile as I go to get up, my stance slightly wobbly. Jeez, did the alcohol already get to me?... However, it was after a few steps that I get an answer. I heard a gasp right behind me. “Holy shit, Soren!-” I look back, confused, as he gets up and shakes his head, “Your back, Soren.” “Huh?” I raise an eyebrow, more curious than before, and reach behind me. A damp warmth takes my hand as I make the grave mistake to check, only to find the darkened crimson shade of blood staining my palm. My eyes widen, with a sick nausea briefly twisting my stomach. “Oh fuck.” “You should get that seen, and maybe fast. That looks pretty bad...” “No, No it's fine. I can fix this myself. I’ve taken scouts, I know how to patch this up. I just...need to head home.” I reassure with a smile. Shane doesn't seem to buy it, and goes to quickly object, but before he even could I had walked right out- hellbent on not letting Yasmine or Harvey know about this particular incident.

“I can fix this myself… I can fix this myself.” I reassure myself as I start walking home, not even listening to see if Shane has followed me. I had to keep pressing forward, it wasn’t an option to let Yasmine or Harvey know. So I kept saying that, just to myself, almost like a mantra. Before I could even feel it through, a wave of vertigo made me trip and fall- and wouldn't you know it? My head slams right into a rock. 

Man, my luck couldn't have been worse today. I saw stars, briefly, with pain shooting through my whole body between the damage dealt earlier, and the striking new pain blooming from the side of my head.  Either way, it instantly rendered my mind unconscious as the blood loss takes hold, some sort’ve muffled groan dying on my lips as it passes. 

[gametechia]

How to Get Free Skins In Fortnite?

The topic you are going to know is such kind of useful for royal battle players. Indeed you will know all the basics for its skins in “How to get free skins in Fortnite?” How to Get Free Skins In Fortnite? Fortunately (Fortnite Battle Royal) video game has no need of any introduction. This game is listed in the world’s most popular games. Luckily now it is providing a chance for having some free materials of its, including Pickaxe, multiple loots, and skins. All online players (survival shooters) of this game are greatly managing a lot of downloads. In these downloads, they are maintaining the active player pool rewarding by thousands of players. This game is now updating lots of its features on a weekly basis. Well, today’s purpose is only to give you genuine ideas for getting free skins in the Fortnite game. So let us begin; Free skins for Fortnite royal battle: Before starting, let me tell you that in spite of all longitudes, we can get its free skins through apps. May you have seen a lot of tricky videos, read articles, and heard a lot of ideas about free skins, but believe me, they all won’t work properly? Apps are the only way from which you may have a variety of free skins for Fortnite battle royal. Whatever you have seen early would be useless; these tricks are only created for catching user attention. Apart from all working wiles here, we have described the top three best apps for you. With these apps, you will have your desired skin for the Fortnite battle game. All these apps will work efficiently and will provide your desired skins without spending money or V – bucks. Click Here To Check On Amazon Bellow apps are available in the Google play store that you may easily download from your smartphone. - V-Bucks & Skins – Free Finder: Hey dear! Do you look for free skins for playing Fortnite? Because you do have not much money or coins, then don’t worry. Now we have found a genuine app (V-Bucks & Skins – Free Finder) through which you may have what you actually want. Related Article: How To Crouch In Fortnite Related Article: How To Change Your Name In Fortnite This application truly works and provides you a lot of amazing features for instance; free skins emote with V – bucks costs. Even this app gives you a chance to have recent store items of Fortnite Epic battle. With the help of this app now anyone can check statistics of new users. If you are really feeling irritated by losing Battle royal games, then get ready for defeating your enemy with new weapons. V-Bucks & Skins – Free Finder app finally gives you the chance to improve your character, and it will make your game fast. Even this app can give you Fortnite skins free on a daily basis that you can show to your friends. - Battle Royale Skins, Emotes, and Daily Shop – FBR Cat: For me, every legend player wants to have free skins for this game. This app fairly gives you more than 200 skins that you may have free of the coast for Fortnite battle. Some of its famous skins are; - Guan Yu, - Onesies, - Arcane, - Battle Hound, - Black Knight, - Scavenger, - Executor, - Waukon, and other endless skins. With the help of Battle Royale Skins, Emotes, and Daily Shop – FBR Cat app, you may have your desired skin from the official store absolutely free. Definitely, there is no further time to wait more! Go and download this app quickly. Personally, I have found a lot of matching skins of my favorite characters by this app. FBR cat app is able to show 3D skins and other detail of a character such as the image of your favorite skin and other parts. Click Here To Check On Amazon - FBR Skins and Emotes App: Our last but not the least app is such type interesting app through you may get a lot of funs regarding battle royal. Day by this app is going more fashionable, especially the dancing characters. Well, this FBR Skins and Emotes App is one of those useful apps by which you may have premium skins and dancing emotes. Additionally, through this app, a user can have battle Royal moves that you can use in your game. Internet is a must for using this app, especially for covering info, images, and 3d models. Further, this app will automatically upgrade itself in order to have bug fixes. The designers are always improving this app, especially for giving you the best services. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6WbipvvJuo Top ten best Fortnite skins: At this part of the article, desperately, I would like to share the top ten best Fortnite skins that can be got by having bucks (Diamonds.). According to users, I have found the top ten skins by which you may increase your gaming experience level. Names Amount of bucks 1.      RAPTOR (2,000 V-BUCKS) 2.      RAVEN (2,000 V-BUCKS) 3.      RED KNIGHT (2,000 V-BUCKS) 4.      SKULL TROOPER (1,500 V-BUCKS) 5.      RENEGADE (800 V-BUCKS) 6.      GHOUL TROOPER (1,500 V-BUCKS) 7.      BRITE BOMBER (1,200 V-BUCKS) 8.      GALAXY (SAMSUNG PACK) 9.      POISED PLAYMAKER (1,200 V-BUCKS) 10.   CRACKSHOT (2,000 V-BUCKS)   Click Here To Check On Amazon Hope you have no clear sense about “How to get free skins in Fortnite?” if still, you have some question regarding this topic then kindly reread this article and experience its suggestions. Related Article: How To Play Fortnite Without Xbox Live Gold Related Article: How To Change Character In Fortnite Read the full article

[anactualfuckingnerd]

🍔 woah!

[

The story begins with Miss Pauling lying face-down in the middle of a golden desert, covered in sand and with vultures around her. She wakes up with a start, spitting sand out of her mouth.

]

Miss Pauling: "Hck! Pfff! Pff! Where the hell...?"

[A single unlocked door stands in front of her, seemingly in the middle of nowhere]

[Cut to Miss Pauling opening the door and peering in]

Miss Pauling: Um. Hello?

Voice: Oh, it's you. Well, you might as well come in.

[The voice is the Administrator, who is sitting in the middle of a control room lit green by multiple monitors. All of them eerily show live footage of her face]

Miss Pauling: Where are we?

Administrator: Mm. You know, nobody's ever dropped by that I've been able to ask. This is where I wake up when I die. All the cameras face inward, you see. So all you can look at is yourself. For eternity, presumably. Very poetic. I'm only ever here for an hour or so. Usually I just read magazines and smoke.

[Miss Pauling moves closer]

Miss Pauling: None of this is real, is it? You're just... this is all in my head.

Administrator: If you like. Maybe I'm not here at all. Maybe I'm just a flickering memory in your dying brain.

[The Administrator flicks her cigarette slightly, still facing the monitors]

Administrator: Or maybe I am real, and we're discussing the nature of reality in my own private hell. In which case, congratulations. You've somehow figured out how to make eternity more boring. Honestly, pick one. I've never had much patience for the abstract. What matters is you've died. And that means you've failed.

[Miss Pauling scowls a bit, but keeps talking]

Miss Pauling: Okay, yes. I failed. The Australium you sent me to get? It's gone. It's gone, ma'am.

[The Administrator rests her hand on her forehead, looking frustrated]

Administrator: *Sigh* And of course you just gave up, didn't you. You have no idea how important this is...

[Miss Pauling speaks with more desperation]

Miss Pauling: So tell me! Administrator, I know you're planning something big. I've always known. And I've never asked. Not once. Because I trusted you. That when we got here, you'd have a place for me.

[The Administrator takes a whiff from her cigarette]

Administrator: Tell me, Miss Pauling... if you've never questioned my intentions, in a decade under my employ... because you "trusted" me...

[The Administrator turn around on her chair and faces Miss Pauling]

Administrator: Why are you asking now?

[Silence. Miss Pauling poses a single question]

Miss Pauling: What is it you want?

[The monitors behind her are mysteriously turned off. Suddenly, the Administrator gives a grim look, her fingers touching and her face turning dark.]

Administrator: Blood.

[The monitors turn on one-by-one. Miss Pauling's eyes begin to show on each screen.]

Administrator': It's not enough.

[All monitors are turned on, filled with Miss Pauling's horrified expression.]

Administrator: I need more.

[Comic suddenly cuts to a different scene. Miss Pauling is lying in bloody dirt outside of the TFC base, regaining consciousness. The previous events were all a hallucination.]

Voice: I need more blood!

[The comic's name flashes at the bottom of the page: THE NAKED and the DEAD]

[Miss Pauling finally awakens] Miss Pauling: Medic?

[Medic is seen rushing about with a bucket full of blood, while Zhanna collects blood from the ground using a piece of cloth.]

Medic: More blood! She's coming around!

[Medic sits on his knee beside Miss Pauling, collecting blood with a cloth]

Miss Pauling: What happened? I thought we all...

Medic: Died? Ha ha ha, heavens, NO! ...well, yes.

[Medic squeezes the blood-soaked cloth into his bucket, smiling at Miss Pauling. Miss Pauling looks a bit disturbed]

Medic: But only momentarily! Your hearts barely had time to stop beating! The robots merely drained out all of your blood.

[Medic pours the bucket of dirty blood and debris straight into the Soldier's open chest, who is lying on the ground and smiling. Miss Pauling looks disgusted.]

Medic: SO! I just put the blood back in!

Miss Pauling (Grimacing): I refuse to believe it's that easy.

Medic: I know, ja? Why do people even go to Medical school?

Miss Pauling: Wait, how'd you separate out all the blood types?

[A bandaged Soldier sits up and smiles]

Soldier: HAR! "Different types of blood"! Miss Pauling came back stupid!

[Looking at Soldier] Medic: Ha! Yes. What foolishness.

[Medic quickly and sternly glares at a surprised Miss Pauling while Soldier digs his nose]

Medic (Quietly): Miss Pauling, I've been using my own underwear to sponge blood out of puddles. Trust me, the type is the least of your problems.

[Miss Pauling looks as if she was about to cry]

Miss Pauling: Oh god. Are we going to be okay...?

Medic (Thinking): I would drink plenty of water. Oh, and blood, if you can find any.

[They are both interrupted by the sound of the Demoman, who was in a frenzy and taking on a hoard of blood-sucking robots all by himself. Destroyed robots litter the area.]

Miss Pauling: Wait. Aren't those the robots that killed all of us in five seconds?

Medic: Oof. Yes, I saw. Very embarrassing of you.

Miss Pauling: Right, so... How the hell is Demo doing that?

[Medic picks up the arm of a busted robot]

Medic: Yes, I was pleasantly surprised as well. If I had to guess... I'd say drinking Demo's blood is giving them all alcohol poisoning.

Miss Pauling: But he hasn't had a drop of liquor since we got to the island! How is he...?

[A small speech bubble interrupts Miss Pauling]

Voice: Heart! Status report!

[The scene cuts to what seems to be a hallucination experienced by the Demoman. Demoman is giving orders to his various anthropomorphic organs behind a control panel, with his eyepatch-wearing heart saluting and announcing reports.]

Demoman's Heart: We managed to convert the stomach into a distillery, sir!

Demoman (Shouting): Convert the lungs too! If it's hollow and it's in me body, put it to work!

Voice: Tavish?

[Demoman's eyepatch-wearing liver returns after leaving since Old Wounds. Demoman answers condescendingly, without turning his back.]

Demoman: Ach. Look who came crawling back. Hello, liver. Get bored of yer champagne parties and golden shrimp forks, did ye?

Demoman's Liver: Tavish... I never even left your rectum.

[Demoman grabs his liver and embraces it, giving a romantic kiss within a heart-shaped comic bubble.]

Demoman: I know.

[Demoman's liver blushes and stands next to a happy Demoman, behind their control panel.]

Demoman: Ach, we'll have plenty o' time for that later. We should get back t'work. While you were gallivantin' around in me colon havin' a fine oul' time, me and the lads invented a way to ferment bone marrow.

[Two eyepatch-wearing bones are seen with pickaxes beside them; one of them is smoking.]

Demoman: Look sharp there, boys!

Demoman's Bones: I hate this job.

[Scene suddenly cuts to pure black]

Voice: These guys are morons. Lunatics. They're the laughing stock of the mercenary world. How the hell are they-

[A frustrated TFC Heavy is seen watching the events unfold on a large blue screen. The TFC Engineer approaches from behind him and interrupts his thoughts.]

TFC Engineer: Uh... boss? Me and the boys were talkin', and uh... we were wonderin' how we're gonna get paid.

[TFC Heavy doesn't turn around. He is seen holding something.]

TFC Heavy: Do I look like I'm in the mood to talk about this, Fred? You always get paid. Why bring it up now?

TFC Engineer: Well, for one, you never killed the guy payin' us before. Two, I've been standin' here ten minutes watchin' you yell at his spine.

[TFC Heavy turns around menacingly and thrusts the item he is holding towards the TFC Engineer, showing that it was Gray Mann's Life-Extender machine.]

TFC Heavy: You worried about MONEY? I'm holding a machine that will let us live forever, Fred.

[TFC Engineer backs away a bit]

TFC Engineer: Yeah, about that. I also can't help noticing you ain't holding five of 'em.

TFC Heavy: SO MAKE MORE! You're an Engineer, aren't you?

TFC Engineer: Well, sure, but- this aint' exactly upgrading a Turret here. Come on man, immortality machines? Magic rocks? That damn thing's more Biology that Engineering...

[TFC Heavy turns away again]

TFC Heavy: Just so we're not here all day... what can you do, Fred?

[TFC Engineer counts his fingers]

TFC Engineer: Well, I've been lookin' at the old man's Robots. I could probably get the Sentry Busters up and running, or maybe...

[TFC Heavy immediately turns around and grabs the TFC Engineer's collar, screaming directly into his face.]

TFC Engineer: Get them ALL up and running! Now! I WANT THESE IDIOTS DEAD!

[webseoadd]

Practical Tips For Buying Your New Laptop

So you need to buy a laptop but don't know where to start. You're not alone. Buying a new laptop can present many challenges, especially if you're unfamiliar with laptops or bundle computers.

Over the conclusion little while so scads new laptop technology has television the market... Intel Duo Processors, SLI, Dual Graphics... it tins all be totally mind boggling to the average consumer. For the first time laptop buyer understanding all the techno gibberish can be downright scary.

Mainly because a whole new production of bundle technology comes around every two years or less; probably scads less when you consider all the new advances made recently. It tins even be a little overwhelming even for someone like myself who runs an online Laptop Guide and who has a keen interest in all belongings laptop.

Regardless of all these fantasy new improvements, devices and bundle technology, you must remember you're buying a new laptop for you and you alone. You must first decide if all this new things is important to you? Do you really need all this new bundle technology?

But most of all before you can consider that questioning you must first figure out WHY you need a laptop? Why are you buying a laptop? What chores or assignment do you protocol the laptop to perform?

If you just need a laptop for commoner hammock browsing and emailing, a laptop made five era ago evidence do the job nicely and charge you a heck of courtyard less. You really don't conditions a top of the files laptop unless of course, you're holding up with the Jones and misses the latest top model of everything. But that's mixing into Dr. Phil's territory... lets not campaign there!

So what do you need the laptop for?

Do you poverty a lightweight portable laptop for business trips or meetings? Do you assignment a student book for classes? Or do just failure a desktop reserve computer that you can easily claim around in your home?

Your answer testament greatly determine which makes of laptop you should buy.

In my case, I needed a desktop substitute that I could easily claim around my domicile and profits on very infrequent trips or vacations. Long cell life was not a major consideration because I would mainly be using it plugged into an electrical outlet. Besides, the laptop I wanted would be 7 or 8 pounds and I had no definition of lugging that child around over any great distance.

I work full time at residence and do a yards of web formatting so I needed a solid machine with a enclosure of RAM. I also enjoy downloading and enjoying the occasional film so a DVD Multi Drive and a wide screen parade were important. High caliber graphics and sound was also important for what I needed.

* RAM

RAM is to computer what location is to real estate. RAM or Random Access Memory is perhaps the capacity important factor to consider when buying your laptop or any computer.

RAM testament greatly determine the haste of your laptop or computer. How fast it testament relatedness your obligation and graphics. You must make sure you have enough for your needs. You can now discovery dozens laptops pre-loaded with 1 Gig of RAM and capable of upgrading to 4 Gigs or more.

Compared to yesterday's computers that's a pen of RAM. If you're not into gaming, relation large video files/editing, all that RAM is not needed but it testament type your laptop run faster. Also, remember if you're into gaming, Video RAM will be important -- you poverty a summit of the line (read expensive) Graphics Card and it evidence addition the prix of your laptop.

Also it may be wise to buy a laptop with upgradable memory - since new applications, multi windowed browsers, streaming video... of the very near future may circumstance high action on your laptop's RAM.

* Dual Core Processors

CPU or Computer Processing Unit is the sanity of your laptop and in this position you have Two Hearts -- Intel Centrino Duo is the front messenger in this area odds now. However, AMD is appointing Intel some fellow competition in the dual core battle with its Athlon(TM) 64 X2 dual core processor. Either one would be a wise choice.

* Hard Drive

The amount of disparity or extent of laptop hard drives are steadily increasing, a 100 Gig laptop is now common. If you don't shortage a yards of storage, buying a smaller size hard ambition evidence save you money.

Many laptop specialist choose the SATA hard ambition with a high 5400 or 7200 RPM.

* Weight or Size

Perhaps the adult reason you're considering buying a laptop is its size or encumbrance -- otherwise you're better of saving your crack and buying a desktop computer instead. A laptop is portable, you can carry it anywhere... tuck it under your arm and wagon it to class or your next firm meeting. It is shape for conveying your dope and employment to wherever you claim to go. This mobility is the main selling feature of a laptop.

Obviously you must pickax the best sized laptop to proceedings your needs. Laptops are divided into different categories, here's a quick rundown:

Tablet PC (smallest) Size of a paper capsule or notepad, less than 3 pounds.

Ultra Portable (small) 13" x >11" More than 1.5 inches, more than 7 pounds and up

Pick the extent that suits your purpose and use.

* Price

Laptop prices are steadily falling, it is now possible to get a quality laptop for well under a $1000. Many are selling at the $500 - $600 range. High caliber gaming laptops offered by such specialty laptop God as Alienware, Rock, will still system you back 3 to 4 grand. Ouch!

* Warranties

Don't overlook this factor, if you're buying an expensive laptop, you determination shortage to unit out these extended warranties. If you do a enclosure of traveling, you durability scarcity to purchase insurance against burglar and loss.

* Dead Pixels Was the Only Thing I Feared!

If you can band your laptop for any dead pixels. A dead pixel will give you white spots(pixels)on your LCD display screen. Most situation you're buying your laptop heterosexual out of the box, booting up and discovery you have dead pixels is not a pleasant experience. If you need to gang your laptop screen for dead pixels, just do a pursuit for the free 'Dead Pixel Buddy' software program and run it to check your laptop for dead pixels.

* Use The Internet For Information Or Even Purchase

I run a commoner Laptop Guide on one of my sites and I also keep a laptop blog so I am constantly using the Internet to gather information and compare prices. You must office around and check out the consumer reports on the different laptop makers and the different laptop products. You must also sketch out the service records/reputation of the major brand names.

I researched all the different laptops and found the one that met my obligation and price. I bought it in the real world at a local Computer store mainly because I wanted to examine the laptop's graphics and keyboard in the flesh. However, I checked out all of the product's details beforehand on this store's online lands -- scads easier than in a busy crowded store.

Make A List

It might prove helpful to create a scrolls of the minimum requirements or features you shortage on your desired laptop:

Intel Duo 1 Gig of RAM 100 Gig Hard Drive 15 Inch Screen 4 or 5 Hours Battery Life Burn/Write DVDs...

* Kick The Tires

Like buying anything, it is always a good objective to fully check out your purchase. Sample the laptop's keyboard, does typing emotion comfortable? Try the touchpad, is it responsive? Open your favorite programs and band the treating speed of your laptop. Bring along a DVD and sample the sound and graphics. Take note of any problems or irritations that may pop-up, in my matter it was a small benefit shift key but this was so minor I knew I could get used to it and it didn't stop me from buying my desired laptop.

* Research Your Laptop

Use the Internet to research your desired laptop, know exactly what segment it has and know what software is already preloaded. Be careful of salespeople who evidence trial to levy you extra for configuring or repairing programs on your laptop when these programs may already be preloaded at the factory stage!

I settled on a Toshiba Satellite P100-SD3: it has Intel Duo, 1 Gig of RAM, 100 Gig Hard Drive, 17" widescreen TrueBrite Display, compatible with the new Windows Vista... it meets all my needs and I am quite pleased with my new laptop. And I testament be manuscript a full review after I have used it for a duo of weeks... but that's another article.

If you consider mass of the simple points and sketch out the factors listed above then order your own laptop purchase will not only be quite painless but it may even prove an enjoyable experience. Do a little homework and you will easily discovery the perfect laptop for you.

The poet runs an online Laptop Guide featuring the latest top gaming laptops: Gaming Laptops For Timely Special Savings/Deals/Coupons on Dell, Toshiba, Apple, Sony, Alienware...click here:https://fashnos.com/product-category/electronics/laptop/