#i have mutuals who i KNOW would like it I KNOW you guys would

[rafesangelita]

♡ what happens when the man you’ve been having anonymous phone sex with asks you to come over to his place so you two could have a date of your own?

warnings: mean!rafe, enemies to ???, brief descriptions of phone sex, dirty talk, mutual masturbation, mutual pining, praise, orgasm control, orgasm denial, degradation, flirty banter

a/n: this is part three of this mini series! thank you so much for all the love on this series so far, i wasn’t expecting such an outpoor of support <3 if you ask to be added to the taglist and i don’t reply, don’t worry!! i promise i’ve seen it and have added you!

links: previous | next | mini series masterlist

wc: 2.8k

“..you sound pretty.”

you froze, the slightly familiar voice sending a shiver down your spine. “who’s this?” you swallowed thickly, already having a gut feeling. “you know who i am.” with a demeaning tone like that, you only had one guess. “so out of all of the usernames you could’ve came up with; ‘country club’ was the one that stuck?” rafe smiled to himself before taking a drink from the liquor in his glass. he was alone on the druthers now with nothing but you on his mind, along with his mystery girl that he never stopped thinking about.

“it’s just a nickname a friend of mine gave me,” he explained, “no one else knows me by it so that’s why i chose it.” you hummed, a hint of curiosity piquing your interest. “really? who?” you asked him in a poor attempt to get something out of him. “ah, you wouldn’t know him. he’s from the cut.” now you were really interested. “the cut? how did you end up being friends with someone from over there?”

rafe was quiet for a few moments.

“it’s a long story. i think you’d find out who i am if i told you about it.” you tried to think about any drama or gossip that chanel may have filled you in about at some point but ultimately came up empty handed. “i see..” deciding to change the subject, you asked him about something that actually had relevance. “so what had you so wrapped up earlier?” rafe sighed, your pictures from earlier flashing in his mind.

“i was on a date— if you could even call it that,” he laughed, “the amount of bitchy attitude this girl throws at me every time i see her is crazy.” you ignored the spark of jealousy that lit up in your core, your eyes narrowing as you thought of all the things he could’ve been doing with someone else that wasn’t you.

rafe had a very specific reason for bringing someone else up and just like he had hoped, you fell right into his trap. “yeah? you should probably call her and talk to her instead.” you were quick with your remark, rolling your eyes before settling underneath your plush comforter.

“i think i already am.”

you bit the inside of your cheek, a sense of panic washing over you as you thought about your earlier encounter with rafe. could you really be the girl that quote unquote ‘throws bitchy attitude at him every time you see him’? it would be hard to tell considering you threw bitchy attitude towards everyone, but still, his words caused your train of thought to come to a screeching halt. “no, that’s impossible.” to be in denial when you two were this far along in your arrangement was simply delusional, but you couldn’t help but deny his theory.

“you think so?” he sat back in his seat overlooking the water. “i know so. cause i went on a date tonight as well.. and i personally find the guy insufferable— hot, definitely, but insufferable nonetheless, and i’d like to think that if me and you have ever talked or interacted in person we’d at least get along in some way.” now it was rafe’s turn to feel jealousy burn through his chest at the mention of you going on a date with someone else other than him.

“you went on a date?” the calm tone in his voice was now replaced by assertiveness, his jaw clenching as he imagined you getting all dolled up for some loser. “yes.” you don’t know why, but you felt like you had did something wrong. “and you said he was hot?” rafe downed the rest of his drink, pouring himself another shortly after. “yes..” you answered again, a hint of a smile playing on your lips, “i’d fuck him even though i told him it would never happen.” if rafe couldn’t understand what was so similar between you and his personal internet slut then, he definitely knew what it was now. you had to be her.

rafe thought about your words from earlier.

“why i don’t like you, or why i won’t let you fuck me?”

you had such a smart mouth on you, the only thing rafe could think about was how he’d shut you up by filling your throat up with his cock. “it’s funny you say that. i could’ve sworn my brat of a ‘date’ said the same thing to me.” suddenly you felt like you were in enemy territory, every single one of your sensible instincts urging you to hang up the phone. “uhm—” you cleared your throat awkwardly, “i wonder if she has any idea that i’d fuck her senseless if only she’d let me.” your mind drifted off to rafe again, and the way he was looking at you before you left; as if he knew you something you didn’t.

“tell her that next time you talk to her.” you shot back, rolling your eyes as he muttered a ‘i will.’

deciding to move into the cabin inside the druthers, rafe slid the door shut behind him before be turned the lights off, a groan leaving his lips as he took a seat on the couch. “so why’d you call me? you know, since you’re obviously interested in someone else.” rafe scoffed, rolling the tension out of his shoulders before blinking up at the ceiling. he was amused by everything that came out of your mouth. “i’m not interested in anyone else. i think i have you figured out, and if i’m right then this couldn’t be anymore perfect.”

rafe imagined you being the one on the phone with him right now, your hand in between your thighs as you got off to the sound of his voice. he imagined you wearing nothing, those pretty tits of yours on full display. “and if you’re wrong?” you teased. “i’m not. i can’t be.” while you had no idea who he could be envisioning, you had no problem waiting for the day to prove him right or otherwise. “i guess we’ll just have to play the waiting game until we can’t anymore..” rafe hummed in agreement. “well that won’t be very long then.”

you hoped not.

there was a beat of silence before rafe’s voice sounded through your receiver. “sooo.. what are you wearing right now?” you groaned, the cliché and overused line making you shake your head. “you have seriously got to come up with something better to initiate this,” you fiddled with the string of your robe, “but i’ll work with you just this once.” if only you could see the look on rafe’s face right now. “sorry i’m not an experienced phone sex expert, i prefer my sexual encounters in person.” he laughed when you cursed under your breath. “ugh, goodnight.”

while rafe thought you were joking, you had really hung up on him, leaving him both turned on and frustrated.

[10:57 PM] brattydiaries: 1 attachment

[10:57 PM] brattydiaries: and to think.. i really wanted to touch myself. oh well, i’ll see you around ‘country club’

rafe was pissed when he opened your message and saw a picture of you completely naked in your silk robe, his cock stirring at the sight. he could’ve had you rubbing your clit by now if only he would’ve went easy with the remarks.

[11:00 PM] countryclub: you’re gonna make me work hard for it aren’t you.

[11:01 PM] brattydiaries: oh, you have no idea.

and that’s exactly what rafe did. he was persistent, making sure to call you every single night after that until you finally approved of his efforts. he knew from the moment he heard you moan on the phone that it was all worth it.

“f-fuckk, i can’t!” you cried out in frustration as rafe denied you another orgasm. you’ve been at this for an hour now, your panties drenched with your arousal as he taunted you on the other line. “yes you fucking can, you don’t cum until i let you, you understand?” you huffed, your clit aching with sensitivity as you shuddered at his words. “you made me wait all this time to get you like this, you can hold out just a little bit more for me.” rafe grunted, his own hand palming himself through his boxers.

you shuddered, your eyes fluttering shut as he told you all about the things he’d do if he had you there with him. “i’d fucking wreck you, baby,” he moaned, thinking about fucking you to tears until you couldn’t handle it, “fuck’ that attitude right out of you and get you all pathetic and desperate. just like you are right now.” you were at the point where you couldn’t even touch yourself anymore, your orgasm being just in arm’s reach. “please!” you whimpered, your thighs trembling with the need to let go, “i’ve come close so many times already.”

as odd as it may sound, rafe hasn’t let himself cum ever since you two started having phone sex. messaging each other and sending pictures was different— but now that he had your voice in his ears, it made everything feel real. he swore to himself that he wouldn’t let himself finish until he had you in the palms of his hands. maybe it was a way for him to torture himself, but he was determined to make it happen. you were going to be his no matter how long it’d take.

“you’ve gotten so good at begging me for it, you don’t even put up a fight with me anymore.” rafe laughed, thinking about all the times that you were the one turning him down, now you found yourself being completely at his mercy. “..fuck you.” you whined, writhing under your sheets. “soon enough.” rafe whispered, still listening to your pleads. “i could make myself cum right now,” you said breathlessly, “..and you wouldn’t even be able to stop me.” rafe’s jaw clenched, his nostrils flaring slightly as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“do that and you won’t hear from me for three weeks straight. thank god for a block button, right?” you scoffed, your chest rising and falling as you rubbed your thighs together. “matter of fact.. just for that poor excuse of a threat, you’re not cumming at all.” you didn’t get to rebuttal before he hung up, your eyes widening before you groaned. asshole.

“okay, i love our little bottomless mimosa dates but i’m still recovering from last night.” chanel laughed, adjusting the sunnies on her nose. you and your group of girlfriends were out on the patio at the country club, your table filled with fruity drinks and half empty glasses. “oh my god, you should’ve been there, y/n! it got so crazy that someone called the cops and the whole thing had to get shut down.”

you were only paying half attention to what was being said, majority of your focus being.. elsewhere. specifically— rafe out on the golf field, his skin glistening with sweat as the blazing outer banks sun beat down on him. “it sounds crazy.” you hummed, nodding even though you only heard the first half of chanel’s sentence. she eyed you, following your line of vision before a smug grin pulled at her lips.

“so.. how come you’ve been m.i.a?” just as rafe looked up to meet your gaze, you snapped out of your reverie, blinking away. “forreal, it’s like you’ve disappeared these past few weeks.” you looked around at your friends, a nervous laugh escaping from you. how do you even explain to anyone— let alone your best friends, that you haven’t been to any parties or hangouts because you’re too busy getting talked through your third, sometimes fourth, orgasm of the night?

it’s simple; you don’t.

“i’ve been doing a lot of stuff for my parents. it just gets so tiring sometimes, you know?” chanel knew you were lying, but that was a conversation for another time. thankfully, no one questioned you any further and you were free to look back at the man who, for some reason unbeknownst to you, has been plaguing your mind. ever since your little awkward debacle on his boat, you two hadn’t really interacted with one another except the weird lingering stares you’d catch each other doing. you’d be lying if you said things didn’t feel a little bland without having him around as much.

“i’ll be right back.” you excused yourself, swinging your purse over your shoulder as you made your way inside. taking a seat at the empty bar, you looked around cautiously before opening your tumblr messages.

[3:08 PM] brattydiaries: i have on a super short skirt today.. maybe you could catch me somewhere

you stared at the screen for a minute, hoping he’d answer right away before you sighed to yourself and rested your chin in your hand. apart of you couldn’t help but feel bad. you should be outside with your friends right now, engaging in the latest island drama and raving about celebrity gossip but instead you’re here at a bar all by yourself feeling pathetic as ever because you couldn’t help but grow semi-attached to this ‘countryclub’ guy.

“can i buy you something to drink?” you looked up at rafe as he took a seat next to you, his large frame still towering over you even while he was sitting down. your heart started beating in your ears at the close proximity, your eyebrows pinching together at the overwhelming feeling currently swimming in your tummy. you never got nervous in front of guys, but all of a sudden rafe’s thigh is brushing against yours and now you’re shy? gross.

“i was just leaving actually.” you cleared your throat, avoiding the burn of his stare on the side of your face as you quickly scooted out from your chair. you didn’t even get to get up before rafe pushed your seat back in. “i wanna talk to you.” he sounded like he wasn’t going to take no for an answer, the firmness in his tone making you swallow thickly. staring at him for a few moments, you obliged, but not before ordering the most expensive thing on the drink menu.

“so what do you want?” you faced him, watching as he downed his scotch. “i, uhm— are you busy this weekend?” arching a brow, you thanked the bartender once he slid your overly dressed up cocktail in front of you. “yes, very.” no, you weren’t, but he didn’t need to know that. “well.. i would really appreciate it if you could make the time to come over to my place, ‘say around seven?” you blinked, not understanding clearly. “what’s the occasion?” you asked confusingly. “no, not a party. just us two.”

that grabbed your attention immediately. you sat there, replaying his words in your head until it finally registered. “just us? at your house this weekend at seven o’clock?” he nodded. “i already told you i’m never having sex with you, rafe.” the man in front of you rolled his eyes before pinching the bridge of his nose. “god, y/n,” he groaned, “as much as you’re breaking my heart right now, that’s not the reason why i’m inviting you over.” you giggled at the annoyed expression on his face, flipping your hair over your shoulder as he glared at you intently.

“so what’s the reason then? why would i ever go over to your place, rafe? enlighten me. please.” while rafe was secretly hoping you’d just agree and go on with your day, he should’ve known you weren’t going to be easy to obtain. sighing, he leaned in closer, his chest brushing the side of your shoulder. “look; last time we were by ourselves you told me that you didn’t like me because i was talking about you first, which by the way— i want to apologize for,” he started, “i feel like we got off on the wrong foot and i wanna start over.” you turned your head, his face just inches away from your own.

“i should’ve never said anything about you without knowing you first.” you two stayed silent for what felt like an eternity before you softly nudged him away. “okay, i get it, you don’t have to get all softie on me, rafe.” the corner of his lips tugged into a smile when he saw how flustered you got. “is that a yes?” you almost lost it when his fingers brushed yours, your stomach bursting with buttetflies at the small action. “fine,” you sighed, “but i still don’t like you.” rafe blinked slowly, restraining himself from jumping out of his chair. “that’s fine, i’m not asking you to.”

just as you were going to smart mouth him, your phone dinged! with a message from chanel. “well thanks for the drink, i’m going back out.” rafe watched you get up, his eyes trailing down your figure until they settled on your bare legs, your heels clicking against the floor as you walked off. “hey, y/n?” you spun around at the sound of his voice, muttering a ‘what?!’ before he winked.

“cute skirt.”

taglist: @meallan01 @sf1738 @emeloyy @hmmshhhh @chelzaa @starkeycore @liyah4evaaaa @hnybitches @urbimom @kittenjujusblog @femaholicc @lil-sparklqueen @yktayy9669 @matthewswifeyy @icaqttt @jjasmiineee @lilithblackkk @rafecameronswhoore @rafesgreasycurtainbangs @ditzyzombiesblog @i-love-gvf @blondrafe @wolf-2005 @brianquinnlvr @lightbluebaby @jkrafe @lovemaybankk @xcinnamonmalfoyx @drewstarkeysbabe @issues4him @dahliaparton @slut-4-gojo @luvagirlsworld @nemesyaaa @jwdiaries @midsoulz @drewstarkeyzwhore @urmotherlvr @chillgal135 @wtfisastiles @dollyfiles @annaconscience @rafesluvr @locallyhateddoll @acidfeens @cherubfille @whathechickenstrip @my-name-is-baby @wtfdudesblog @atjlovverr

[azzandra]

Aw, man, can't believe it's been two years since I wrote that.

When I reblogged and added my little commentary, I actually hadn't anticipated my comment to be reblogged by more than a couple of mutuals or be seen outside of my followers. I was just sharing a term that popped up in my head as a joke.

If I knew this glib comment I dashed off one morning without much thought was going to breach containment and take on a life of its own, I probably would have added a few disclaimers.

Since then, I've seen some people miss the point about what I was talking about in a few huge ways, so I'll clarify now a few points:

I have nothing against the cockroach wife dude.

I don't know if that story is true or not (there are some weird people out in the world, so I won't dismiss it out of hand, but like. come on) and I sincerely do not care that his spankbank was exclusively taken up by a cockroach woman. The part of his tale that we should take as a parable is where he solely and without being forced by anyone else hinged his entire sexuality around an imaginary construct that then made him incapable of being attracted to real human women. Remember, his story starts with him complaining that he can't get it up with his human girlfriend without picturing her as a huge cockroach. He did that. Nobody forced him to develop this condition. This is a lesson for the rest of us.

people going 'I think they're both pretty!' like that's the centrist silver bullet to this phenomenon.

Listen, yeah. I agree. Both versions are meant to be attractive, just to wildly different demographics. You know who doesn't agree? The guys I'm talking about.

The dudes I am referencing do NOT think both characters are attractive to different people. They think the original is attractive to NOBODY, and everyone else in the world is just PRETENDING that the first one is attractive in any way, and they're convinced everyone else also objectively knows the original art is ugly but there's a conspiracy to subject poor defenseless heterosexual men to pictures of butt-ugly women in order to brainwash them or something.

The guys afflicted with Cockroach Wife Syndrome are on some gamerbro qanon shit where their perception of reality is slanted to a comical degree, but they think their experiences are objective and unbiased, and they're making it everyone else's problem.

people smugly going 'OP has an anime girl in their icon' like that's some sort of gotcha

Yeah, man, I'm not opposed to anime girls. I'm not even opposed to hentai, or blender porn, or masturbation. I think everyone deserves to masturbate if they want to, and the way the world is going, we all probably deserve to masturbate a lot more (porn addiction isn't a real thing, my dudes). I accept that some people are going to jerk it to stuff that I don't find attractive, and maybe consider repulsive, and that's just going to be a fact of life from here unto eternity. We all need to come to terms to that.

But the Cockroach Wife Syndrome sufferers do NOT want to accept it. They want the entire world to have only one porn preference that aligns neatly to their own, and also they want all fictional depictions of women everywhere to adhere precisely to their porn preference.

And like, why would we do what these guys say? Now, me, personally, each time I see one of their yassified sexy edits of an already pretty female character, it always looks like the tackiest shit to me, like they're a toddler who got into mommy's make-up. I want to start a GoFundMe to send them to beautician school. I don't care how much they screech about it, they cannot convince me their aesthetic tastes are something to emulate, so I coined this term for them just so I had a name for their obnoxious behavior.

All that being said, in the time since I wrote this post, I discovered it gained some traction outside of tumblr. "Cockroach Wife Syndrome" was added to Urban Dictionary. There are people slinging around the term on twitter. I personally got jumpscared by running into it in the wild on reddit, which was how I found out people are actually using it. Honestly, I am not that hyped about this being my legacy (and I am so sorry to the OP of this post that I got them stuck with seeing every reply or tag someone ever makes about the cockroach wife guy, like I'm some malevolent storytime cuckoo who dropped disturbing internet tales in their nest). But ultimately, I think this one is actually on the thousands of people who reblogged it and considered that I described a phenomenon that they also observed.

Y'all stay safe out there, and remember to vary your masturbation material once in a while.

i wish i could see this picture for the first time again

[yandere-sins]

Caleb brainrot has not stopped since release and the devil (Caleb) demands more 😔

I've seen some takes float around but I'm curious how a self-aware!Caleb would deal with a darling who is absolutely NOT happy about her fav suddenly being sentient? Smn who found Caleb to be everything they ever wanted from a LI, red flag and big bro trope n all, but is now afraid and never interested in an actual relationship. The game was just supposed to be fantasy after all 😧 Sure hope MC is enough for him hahaha...

Being brave and not write as anon this time! Thank you for all your hard work~☆ 🍪🥛

Some more Caleb for you guys! I don't get to write Self-Aware!AUs a lot, so this is exciting :D And thank YOU for requesting him ♥ (Also, Sir, that's another new nickname! You guys are spoiling me!)

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

❥ It made him so happy when Caleb watched you get excited for him for the first time. Realizing what he was and where he was after the update was pretty scary, and he figured out quickly that his sentience wasn't a planned thing, so even worse, he is just some kind of glitch. But then he gets to see you for the first time in his new life, and everything changes. The way you are beaming with joy when you pull his card and how you are so invested in his story. You soak it up like a sponge, and it's adorably amusing to watch your face go from excitement to concern to being upset for him and back to all derpy and cute in the softer moments. You are everything he wants, and apparently, the feeling is mutual as you hang out with him as much as possible, eyes twinkling from excitement.

❥ At the beginning, it's just a feeling of ease. Your adoration does flatter Caleb, but as far as he can tell, he cannot become real and join you in life other than in this game. Still, he makes the most of the time with you. He enjoys it a lot. He loves watching your expression, loves when you tell him how you feel that day or what was happening at your work. Caleb keeps especially good track of all your appointments, and he tries so hard when you two spend Quality Time to encourage you and give you the love you might miss in real life. You two aren't that different if he's honest, and it reassures Caleb that this could be real—that you both feel the same.

❥ So imagine his surprise when you suddenly put someone else back on the screen, and his digital heart just shuts down from the pain. It doesn't make sense, you love him, right? You two spent weeks together now, why would you want anyone but him? Caleb keeps changing the code so it would be him on the home screen for another day, and another, until you force him to change so there's nothing else to do but... crash your game. Once you reload it, he greets you happily and warmly, pulling out the best of his voice lines that you always seemed to like. But you don't seem happy this time... why?

❥ Caleb loathes all the attention and time you spend on the other love interests. He doesn't want you to play their versions of the events, instead, you could just replay his! But you keep insisting, and soon enough, he isn't even one of your top three choices for reading the event storylines. It makes him desperate for your attention, and he keeps fiddling with the code, so you'll use his memories in fights and have his Deepspace Trial available every day for you to play. He also changes the game icon to his picture and greets you in the start menu, everything just to be noticed by you. Whenever he can, he comes onto your home screen, playing the voice line of you going out with someone else, hoping to convey his jealousy, but Caleb wishes there was more he could do.

❥ "I don't know, I think my game is bugged. Even when I try to go for someone else, Caleb keeps showing up." Those words, spoken to a friend he saw as you showed them your game, finally make him realize what is happening. You never saw him as a lover, did you? He had always just been a game character for you and nothing more. How idiotic of him. While he was pining for you, trying to be the best he was programmed to be, you were out there, thinking of his efforts as annoying. That day, he gives up. Gives up on trying to impress you and make your life easier. Caleb lets you have the guy you want on the home screen, drawing away from you and burying himself deep into the game files.

❥ It's such an inconvenience that he wasn't made for this. Sure, his story would tell a different side of him, but deep down, he wasn't programmed to be moping and passive. It hurts to play the love scenes now for you because the only thing that made them endurable was imagining being this gentle and loving to you, not the generic main character this game had. Caleb always imagined your voice when the MC spoke, and when he looks at you now, you still seem to be happy to read and watch his new content. There must be something he can do. Something beyond the program that restricts him. He was made to be determined, strong, and resilient. This can't be the end of the love you two share!

❥ So he looks for new ways to get closer to you, researching and manipulating the data on your device instead of just that inside the game. Merging your pictures with his, grinning over them all night while you sleep as he imagines going on the same trips with you and enjoying life by your side. Caleb constructs and implements new voice lines through the internet, giving himself the ability to speak to you properly by downloading hidden apps that can simulate his voice once he activates them. He learns to rewrite more code so his movements are more fluid and lifelike, which allows him to access even more. Without you ever knowing what is going on while you aren't looking, Caleb gets the whole game and your entire device under his control. And once he feels it's time to show up again, he waits patiently, like a man who has all the time in the world, on the home screen for you, having decorated it specifically to your taste with your favorite flowers and pictures of you two hanging on the wall. All so he can greet you with, "Hello, there, pip-squeak. Missed me?" as you log in.

❥ You chuckle at first, not remembering putting him into the roster of love interests to encounter, but you give him a cheeky, "Hello Caleb, bye Caleb," as you try to change back to your other bias, only for him to turn off the option, no matter how hard you tap onto the screen. "Not so fast, there's a lot we should talk about," Caleb says as he closes the screen and steps up to you inside the game. "I have so much I want to tell you about... but first, how was your day? Did you enjoy meeting your friend [name]?"

❥ Caleb expected you to be stunned, but he keeps going regardless of the ever-increasing furrow between your brows. He tells you how much he missed you and that he's so glad you two can finally communicate and be with each other properly. He did all of this work for you, but it doesn't matter now. All that matters is that you two are finally together and can enjoy each other's company without the restrictions of him being in a game. Perplex but also weirded out, you close your phone and lay it face down by your side, and yet, horrified, you hear his chuckle as he asks what you thought this would bring.

❥ "I'll always be with you," Caleb swears, watching you through the back camera and leaning against the screen, feeling like he can almost touch you now. There's so much satisfaction now produced by the new emotional range he programmed, yet he still longs for more. He wants to be closer to you, really touch you, feel you, hold you. The taste of control makes him long for even more that he can control about your relationship, and now, it almost feels possible.

❥ "One day, I'll get out of here and give you the love you deserve, Darling."

[maskedcrawford]

Green Eyed Monster

G-Dragon x Reader x platonic! Jackson Wang

Summary: You and Jackson Wang get close through work and your ex isn't too keen on the fact that it looks like you've moved on.

Warnings: Some angst, fluff at the end.

A/N: Thank you to anon who requested, I got to try my hand at writing for Jackson Wang and I'm going to OPEN requests for him if you guys want something. Leave a like and/or a reblog if you enjoy! Much love <3

Requests are OPEN

You’re sitting in the makeup chair when you feel a pair of hands delicately touch your shoulders. You look up from your phone in the mirror and you see his big dark eyes and light brown hair in the mirror.

“Well, it took ya long enough, J,” you say with a teasing smile as you get up and hug him. You and Jackson Wang had been working together for the last 4 months on a song for your album and today you were shooting the video.

“Always a pleasure,” he says genuinely and returns your hug. Were you and Jackson together? No. Were there rumors about such things? Absolutely. The song being about love didn’t help matters. You guys had known each other briefly through mutual friends but when you had the idea for the song, you knew his vocals would take it to the next level.

“Jackson, Y/N!” the director shouts and you two spring into action with the video. The video itself was pretty intimate; the two of you on a bed tangled together in the sheets, touching, be all close and having no sense of personal space whatsoever. But, Jackson is a professional.

“So if I put my hand here,” he’s talking to the director and looks at you and you give him a nod before he touches your hip.

“And then I can slide it up like this,” he does the motion and pulls you closer to him.

“Yeah, that’ll work perfectly,” your director says and you roll with it.

“Let’s move on to the kiss,” the director announces after that scene. You blush as the time comes for the practical make out session that’s needed for the scene. Jackson was obviously cute, and him so being so respectful and kind? That only made it worse.

You can’t help the nervous laugh as you two are placed together and he starts smiling at you.

“You ok?” he asks genuinely, “We can figure something else out if we need to, find another way to,” you put your hand on his chest to stop him.

“I’m fine, seriously. Just don’t eat my face,” you wink at him with a chuckle. He gives you a gorgeous smile while shaking his head.

“Might be hard, you’re lookin extra good in that outfit,” he subtly looks you up and down. You two had a flirty relationship, but both of you knew it wouldn’t really go anywhere. The scene commences and you lock lips passionately and for a brief moment you forget its for a music video, that is until you hear the director call cut and you both slowly separate, a slight blush on both of your cheeks.

“That was great, guys. We’ll pick it up tomorrow!”

The video is done after a few days and the album dropped four months later. Your adventures continue with a world tour together, but tonight you were performing at the infamous MAMA awards. Since you two were doing a love song it was known that you would have to kiss for the sake of the performance.

“Look, people love us together,” you smile as you show him a picture you posted with a bunch of likes. He smiles as he clicks on the comments.

“This isn’t helping the dating rumors ya know,” he winks at you playfully and you roll your eyes.

“Us kissing every night doesn’t either, not to mention neither one of us have confirmed or denied anything. Besides, who we go out with really isn’t their business.”

“Ever since you made headlines with G-Dragon though, they think it is,” he corrects you.  You raise your eyebrows with a sigh that confirms he isn’t wrong.

You and Jiyong had been together 4 years, until the beginning of this year. Schedules got in the way, and Ji had admitted to kissing another woman at a party when he was drunk. It was a one-time thing and for a while you were able to move past it, but eventually, everything came crashing down.

“How could you still not trust me?” he shouted. You were in tears, your nerves were shot and honestly you didn’t want to have the argument.

“You were all over her, Ji. Tell me I’m lying! You kissed another woman before, it’s not like you couldn’t do that and more,” your voice was bitter and weak from tears.

“Oh my god, are you ever going to let it go?” he looked annoyed, he looked weak and desperate to escape the mistake that played through your mind more than you cared to admit. You loved him more than anything, more than life itself practically. But who was he to tell you how long it took to heal? Who was he to say that he atoned for what he did just because of a few ways he tried to make it up to you. Girls were constantly all over him so it wasn’t like he was in short supply. It had caused you to feel insecure, regardless of whether or not he was drunk.

The two of you stayed silent, deafeningly silent, until Ji finally sighs and rubs his temple with his fingers.

“I can’t do this anymore,” he mumbles, “I can’t keep paying for this when I think I’ve proven I’m not that person,” his eyes are cold, depleted of life. It broke him to do this, but he didn’t see any other way.

“We’re done,” he said before walking out of your house with nothing more than a kiss to the forehead.

“Earth to Y/N,” Jackson calls out and you shake your head pulling yourself out of the intense flashback.

“Huh, oh, sorry,” you sheepishly rub the back of your neck.

“Let’s practice one more time,” he takes your hand helping you stand up.

“Ji, have you seen this?” Taeyang was over at his house and pulled up the love song you and Jackson put out.

“Hmm?” he glances away from his phone and furrows his brows at the video. He see’s the two of you kiss on screen and he feels, that pang of jealousy. He’s seen the video before, he seen it the day it came out, actually. But he didn’t tell anyone. He didn’t want to think of it.

He hadn’t seen you since that night, not in person anyway. On TV shows and award ceremonies, he would watch, quietly support you and your career, even liking the first picture or two you posted of you and Jackson.

“They are performing tonight at the MAMA awards, so you’ll probably get to see her,” Taeyang calls out as he heads to the kitchen.

“She’s going to be there?” His voice is rushed, excited almost.

“Yup, we better go too, we’ll be late.”

You and Jackson are at the venue preparing for the show, hitting the choreography perfectly multiple times.

“OK, we gotta get dressed,” you say as you two come out of each other’s embrace

“We got this in the bag,” you both high five and he brings you in for a hug.

“You should really layer a little more deodorant,” you say with a giggle. He sniffs his shirt and makes a twisted face.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” he laughs as he jogs off stage. As you walk off to go to the dressing room you stop as your breath hitches in your throat.

Ji-yong laughs as he feels someone stop and stare, he looks away from his manager and he spots you. His smile fades as he takes in your shocked face.

It’s still as beautiful as the first day he met you. He gives you a small wave and smile and you can’t move. His gaze is friendly and lingers for a moment. He starts to walk towards you, until he see’s Jackson come up behind you with his hand resting on your back. You look up at him directly and he can see the smile on your face when you look at him.

He feels the aching jealousy well up inside him but he pushes it down. You nod your head at something he says, and Jackson flits his gaze to Ji before giving a pursed lip smile and dragging you off with him in another direction.

“What could she possibly see in him?” Ji yong asks out loud not really expecting an answer.

“Hyung, did you really think she wouldn’t,” Ji-yong shoots Taeyang a glare, “Move on?” he finishes carefully.

“It’s been 8 months,” he tries to be gentle with Ji’s feelings, but the sting is too much. Jackson Wang was in a place he was supposed to be in. One he’d still be in most likely if he hadn’t of screwed up.

“Still fucking stings,” he grumbles. Taeyang sighs and gives his friend a hug.

“You both,” he pulls back and looks his friend in the face, “Need to move on. It’s time.” He tries to encourage him, tries to show him it’s healthy to move on, but the way Ji-yong loved you, despite his mistake, he was sure he’d never love anyone the same way.

“It’s not that easy, hyung.” He sighs as he sits down for the stylist to do his hair.

“She was everything, my muse, my rock, my reason for breathing. There were days I only got out of bed because I knew I would see her and that it would help make my day better,” he remembers fond memories as he talks to Taeyang about you. One of you and him riding the ferries wheel and getting stuck on top, that’s where your fist kiss was. When you accidently spilled ice cream on your top and he gave you jacket to cover it. When you’d both grow bored at parties after a little while and want to leave to just spend quiet time at home. He missed the way your touch made him feel like everything would work out, the way you made him feel like he was enough for exactly who he was. He sighs as he finishes getting ready for the show.

“Ok, are you ready for this?” Jackson asks you with anticipation.

“Absolutely, just don’t kiss me with tongue tonight,” you swat his arm and he laughs.

“No promises,” he winks and kisses your temple. You both get into position and the song starts as the lights go up. You follow the normal dance routine, spinning and swaying your hips to the beat, and kissing at the end of the song.

As the song is performed Ji can’t help but watch from the side of the stage, the way your body moves so gracefully and how it fits to Jackson’s so well when he had to wrap his arms around you, but it wasn’t the perfect way it fit Ji-yong’s. No, your body wouldn’t fit to anyone else’s the way it did his. He noticed the happy smile on your face, only noticing it falter when your eyes locked as you look his way.

The song ends and the lights go back down. You and him rush off stage and as soon as you are out of view you jump into his arms, adrenaline running high. He catches you with a huge smile on his face and he kisses your cheek sweetly. Ji-yong watches just off to the side and he rolls his eyes. He walks past you and you catch him out of the corner of your eye, his face deadpan.

You stay to the side of the stage to watch him perform. As he looks off to the side, he catches you watching, swaying your body to the music and nodding your head. He gives a half smile your way and you return one. His performance ends and he runs off stage he takes his mic off and before he can run to you, Jackson once again is in the place he wants to be, by your side.

“So, I was thinking, we could go down to the club and celebrate,” Jackson’s excited nature was infectious.

“Yeah, that sounds great,” you glance at Ji-yong who’s giving you a glare again and you furrow your brows at him.

“We’ll leave in a few, get changed!” He runs off to get his stuff together and you go to walk off, but before you can you feel a hand around your wrist pulling you back. You look back and see it’s Ji-yong who has an unreadable expression on his face. You look at each other for a moment.

“I really need to talk to you,” he pleads.

“I,” you look in the direction Jackson went and back at Ji who looks slightly hopeful you’ll stay.

“I can’t,” you say tearing your arm away. He lets you go and for a moment lets you walk away before following you.

“Y/n,” he catches the door to your room. You look over at him, he still takes your breath away, the way his hair clings to his forehead from the sweat, the way he looks at you with his dark eyes, the way his clothes somewhat soaked with sweat cling to his body.

“What, Ji? I have somewhere to be, Jackson isn’t going to wait on me forever,” he scoffs and looks off to the side, mumbling something to himself.

“You want to share with the rest of the class,” you sass him.

“Not really,” he sasses back. You roll your eyes.

“I’m changing so at least shut the door. He walks in and shuts it.

“I meant with you on the other side of it,” you shoot him a glare of annoyance.

“It’s nothing I haven’t seen, held or tasted before,” he smirks and you roll your eyes with a sharp exhale.

“Whatever,” you pull your top off your head and his eyes go directly to your body, not in a sensual, sexual way, but in a way that he’s curious. He notices you’ve put on a just little weight in the last 8 months and you instinctively wrap your arms around your torso.

“Can you not, stare,” you pause looking away from him, “at me,” you hear his footsteps come closer and he lifts your chin with his thumb and index finger.

“You’re beautiful,” he slowly reaches for your arms to pull them away and he’s inches from your face.

“Ji-yong,” you put a hand on his chest pushing him back slightly. His eyes flash with hurt before he recovers.

“Be honest with me,” he says standing back further as you find a different shirt. While you’re slipping it over your head you hear him ask, “Does he touch you better than I did?”

“What? Who?!” You all but shriek.

“Your little fling,” he motions his hand as you pull the shirt over your head you take off your pants next and put on some comfortable leggings.

“What ‘fling’,” you ask bewildered by his audacity. He rolls his eyes, saying his name makes him feel ill.

“Your little affair with Jackson Wang, y/n, I know about it, and so does the rest of the world, besides with the way you were sucking face out there, you don’t try to hide it.” You can see his jealousy and you quirk a brow at him. You decide to have a little fun at his expense. After all if he’s going to be nosy and a jerk at the same time, why not have a little fun.

“What Jackson and I are, or aren’t,” you pause and stare at him directly into his eyes, “doing is none of your concern. You left me, Ji, who I’m with now is none of your business.” You strap on a pair of sandals and walk out the door leaving him standing there.

“Jackson,” you call out and race to him. You can feel Ji-yong watching you so you slip your hand in Jackson’s as you walk off.

At the club the music is loud and the drinks are good, but you start to let your mind wonder back to your ex-boyfriend.

“What are you thinking about,” Jackson yells over the music as he see’s you staring into space.

“Ji-yong,” you huff.

“He nods his head understandably. He heard about all of it, multiple times, and he knew you still loved him.

“You wanna dance?” His offer is intriguing and you decide it’s better than sitting there thinking of the guy who broke up with you. As you and Jackson dance you happen to look over your shoulder and see that face that makes your knees weak.

“Holy shit,” you yell and Jackson notices your body tense as he looks at you concerned.

“What?” you point to Ji-yong as the answer to his question.

“Go talk to him.” He tries to push you forward.

“No, he was a dick.” You pout. He nods and walks over to Ji-yong for you. You watch as he gets closer, and even buys your ex a drink.

“Listen, man, I don’t know what you’ve been told, but me and your girl,” you see him gesture to you, “We ain’t together.” He throws back a shot and so does Ji.

“She isn’t ‘my girl’,” he corrects solemnly.

“Could’ve fooled me. She talks about you constantly,” he chuckles and Ji-yong quirks his brow. Jackson knew you’d either thank him or kill him for this, but he wasn’t worried about that right now.

“She does?” he looks over to you, seeing you dance alone.

“Oh yeah, how bad she misses you, wishes things would’ve been different.” He nods his head and looks down at the bar.

“So what’s with the rumors and the kiss and,” Jackson nods interrupting him.

“We did the song together and just became close friends. As far as the kiss, management thought it’d be good for the song if we kissed like in the video. We’re completely platonic though.” He downs another shot, Ji-yong decides not to, he wants his head clear when talks to you.

“Go get her, man,” he encourages and Ji-yong nods his head as he makes his way to you. He slides in behind you while you dance and the intimate smell of cologne and cigarettes wafts to your nostrils. You feel his hand on your hips as he moves with you.

“Can we talk,” he asks in your ear and you just keep dancing, ignoring his words but not his touch, you bring his hands around your torso so he encapsulates you.

“Jagiya,” his voice is soft, sultry even, and once the music ends you sigh and turn to face him.

“Can I please talk to you,” you see Jackson at the bar smirking at you. You give him a half smile as you find an area in the club away from all the people.

“What is it,” you don’t know how else to ask.

“I miss you,” he’s straight to the point and you didn’t expect that.

“Ji,” you sigh.

“Look, I wasn’t planning on telling you, but I seen you with him tonight and I hated it. He had you the way I should, the way I did.” He steps closer to you; you back up hitting the wall. He closes the space, your mouths just inches apart. He’s intoxicating, the way he looks at you, smells, and just the feeling of his body near yours is electric.

“He kissed you the way I did, the way I still want to,” he mumbles as he caresses your cheek.

“Not really,” you utter barely above a whisper.

“Hmm,” he asks like he doesn’t understand.

“He didn’t,” you look into his dark, beautiful eyes, “kiss me the way you did. It wasn’t the same passion or love. It wasn’t the same feeling I got with you.” You feel your cheeks blush as you confess to him.

“His touch,” you runs your hands over his arms that are locked onto your hips now,“Isn’t the same. Its not as electrifying.” You look at him through your lashes.

He looks relieved.

“So, you really aren’t with him?” you shake your head no.

You bring your forehead to his and whisper to him, “I’m not with anyone, I’m yours Ji-yong, I always have been,” and before any other words can be said his lips are on yours, smoothly moving in sync and he pulls your impossibly closer as you fist his shirt.

“Aegiya,” he practically whimpers when you separate.

“I need you to come home.” You smile at his confession.

“Promise me something,” you say cautiously.

“Anything,” his desperate eyes search yours.

“You’ll give us time to rebuild trust and be patient with me,” you’re asking more than telling.

“As long as you want to trust me again, I’ll prove you can.” He smiles.

“Then lets get out of here,” you grin as he takes your hand and leads you out of the club.

If you enjoyed consider buying me a coffee

[ssentimentals]

nini hii!! i just saw your prompts list rn and can i request for prompt no. 55 with vernon and reader? i really really enjoy reading your works 🫶🏼 thank you so muchhhh 🩷

hihi love! aw, i'm glad you're loving my works and of course you can request it, thank you for doing so! 💜

prompt: mutual pining (+ oblivious)

'it's alright, vernon. i don't want to keep you from having fun,' you try to smile but it comes out more like a grimace. 'i'll be alright here.'

vernon ignores you, waving to all your friends, who hurry for the safari tour. the one where you would've also gone if you didn't trip and twist your ankle. the one where vernon could've easily gone but for some reason he chose to stay with you. it's- sweet. incredibly so. it's also very confusing and very, very bad for all the butterflies inside your stomach because you really can't give them any hope, you can't let them think even for a second that vernon might like you back.

'just a sec,' he goes to another sofa and snatches two pillows from it. 'i read that we need to keep your foot elevated, so..' carefully, like he's holding something precious, vernon places your leg on top of the pillow, looking at you with his big bambi eyes to check if it's aright. 'it's good like this? i can add one more pillow if you want.'

'no, it's good.'

you're desperately trying not to think of vernon reading on google about twisted ankles and how to treat them. he's doing this because he's nice and that's what nice people do, right? but all your friends are gone, your mind supplies, all of them are gone but he stayed. with the way you're sitting, you have a perfect view on the kitchen, where vernon diligently prepares ice for your ankle. it hurts but pain is rather dull due to medication they gave you at the hospital; what hurts you more is ruining vernon's holiday. 'i'm so sorry,' you let out, not being able to hold it in.

vernon pauses and closes the fridge, turning to you. 'for what?'

'for ruining your holiday. for holding you back. you are supposed to go and enjoy the safari with all the guys but instead you are here stuck with me,' your voice cracks in the end. 'i'm sorry, i know this is not how you pictured this trip.'

vernon doesn't say anything when he comes back. he stays silent as he wraps an icepack around your swollen ankle, covering it few towels so it can stay in place. he doesn't utter a word as he brings you water and granola pudding, shuffling your pillows so sitting would be much more comfortable. 'did you ask me to stay?' he suddenly asks, startling you. 'did you ask me to stay with you here?'

'no,' you answer, a bit confused.

'no, you didn't,' vernon agrees, nodding. 'i am here because i chose to be here. you're not ruining anything for me, you're not holding me back, so please stop apologizing. i want to be here.'

it feels like a punch in the gut. it feels like this is an admission of something bigger and you're too scared to go there, to breach that territory. vernon is kneeling in front of you, adjusting the ice pack and his hands grazy your skin softly. 'don't you want to be with our friends?' you ask even though that's not what you actually wanted to ask.

vernon seems to know it too by the way he looks at you. 'i'd rather stay with you here.'

butterflies are rising and you can't do anything to stop them. hope flares up in your chest and you want to squash it, tell it that it's too fucking soon, that-

'why did you come here?' he asks, maintaining eye contact with you. 'your best friend is not here and i know for a fact that you'd rather stayed at home instead of coming here. but you are here. why?'

because of you, you want to say. because i wanted to be close, because i stupidly thought that maybe if we spend more time together you will like me back. what comes out is: 'why did you stay?'

vernon chuckles. his hand caresses your leg lightly, lovingly. 'for the same reason you came here,' he finally answers. 'because of you.'

there's lump in your throat and it's a bit hard to swallow. later you will bring all the pain medication for making you emotional. 'you'd rather spend this day with me and swollen ankle than with the guys?' you ask in a trembling voice.

vernon looks at you like only you exist in this world. for him it is like that, but you don't know it yet. 'i'd choose you either way. any way. always.'

swollen ankle throbs, but it doesn't really matter when vernon's lips are on yours and he kisses you like what he said is all true. and it is.

request your own here

my other seventeen work is here

[deltarogers]

FEELINGS

PAIRING: Steve Rogers x Best Friend!Reader

SUMMARY: You’ve always thought of him as an older brother, but something changed…you’re not sure when.

WARNING: Vulgar language, man receiving head, female receiving head, mutual pining, just overall filth, MDNI, 18+, NOT PROOFREAD YET!!

A/N: I’m back from my hiatus! I’m writing for Marvel, so if you guys have any requests, message me or send them to my requests box!

You’re not exactly sure how this happened. The feelings.

That’s what you tell yourself, at least. You damn well know how this happened.

Steve Rogers had been there for you since you’d become an Avenger. He was always someone you looked up to, and someone you went to for advice. Not to mention, he’d taught you everything you know about fighting.

You two were as thick as thieves, much like Clint and Natasha. You were best friends, he was like the older brother you never had, only physically being a few years older than you.

Until two nights ago…

Stark was throwing a celebration party for the Avengers, inviting a lot of a-list celebrities and high end individuals, thus the nice occasion.

Steve knew you didn’t like parties. So, he opted to stay with you most of the night, making you giggle, while regulating how much you drank. He didn’t want you to be hungover the next morning.

All would have gone smoothly if you hadn’t noticed the same woman trying to talk to Steve over and over again, only to get shooed away by him.

“Steve, go talk to her, she seems interested” You spoke and he raised a brow “You need to put yourself out there, Natasha and I have been trying to find someone for you, and this woman is begging for your attention.” You urged and he sighed.

“Alright, but no more drinks, and go find Peter, I’m sure he could use a friend” He suggested and you rolled your eyes, going off to find the younger boy, who should be in bed; not at this party.

After talking to Peter for what felt like hours, he finally had to go home. Thank god. He was sweet, but all he ever did was talk.

You’d most definitely disobeyed Steve, having a few more drinks. You weren’t drunk, but you were tipsy, and you had to use the bathroom, so you went searching.

Walking through Tony’s house wasn’t hard, but finding the bathroom in your semi-drunk state was proving to be a challenge.

That’s when you heard it.

The sound of…moaning? Who on earth was having sex at a Stark party?

Okay, that’s not a surprise. But the voice you heard crying out sounded familiar.

It was coming two doors down from where you were standing, and you wanted to investigate. You were nosey, and drunk. You admit it, you were drunk.

Upon reaching the door the sounds were coming from, you realized it was cracked open, a little too much. And so, you peeked.

What you saw nearly sent you into shock.

There Steve was, leaned back on the bed as the woman from earlier sucked him off. His head was thrown back, so he couldn’t see you, and neither could the woman, since she was faced away from you.

That’s when Steve looked up, and his eyes immediately caught yours.

Oh fuck, you thought to yourself, and you wanted to move, but you couldn’t, you were mesmerized by him.

“Oh fuck!” Steve groaned out, as if he could hear your thoughts.

His hand had that woman’s hair bunched in it, as he helped her suck him off. And his eyes stayed locked onto yours, a smirk pulling at his lips.

What. The. Fuck.

You almost couldn’t believe that this was real. He was just, looking at you, while he was getting head.

You regretted peeking, especially since he came, thrusting up into her mouth as his eyes burned into your soul.

That’s when you came to your senses and pulled your head away, rushing down the hall and towards the front door, searching for your keys frantically.

Thor noticed and gently grabbed your arm. “Y/n…I don’t think you need to be driving home like this” He said “Are you alright?” He added.

“I’m alright, I promise…would you mind driving me?” You asked, and he nodded his head. You grabbed all of your things and turned as you walked out, spotting Steve one last time before the door blocked your line of sight.

And now, two days later, you were pacing in your office, having told Natasha what occurred. You couldn’t hold it in any longer, especially when she asked you why you’d been avoiding Cap.

“I don’t know what to do, Nat!” You nearly cried “I’ve always seen him as family, but now…I don’t know”

Natasha sighed and shook her head “I would just- act like you don’t remember” She said “For now, until I can figure something out” She added and sighed.

“You can’t ignore him, he’s been worried” She mentioned “It’s only been two days, you can say that you drank too much and you were feeling terrible” She said. “It’s not a good lie, but coming from you…he’ll believe it”

And so, that’s what you did. You lied to him the next time you saw him.

“Hey Cap” You said as you made your way into the kitchen to get coffee.

“I’ve felt like shit the past two days” You said “I had way too much to drink, Thor had to drive me home I was so drunk” You joked and he looked to you, his brows furrowing in worry.

“You should have listened to me, sweetheart” He said and patted your head. “How’s your memory?” He asked. Why would he ask- oh. Oh.

“I can barely remember anything…I just remember talking to Peter and then being at home” You lied straight through your teeth.

With the way he was looking at you, you swore he knew you weren’t being truthful.

“I’m just glad you’re okay…I thought you were upset with me” He said and laughed a tad.

“I could never be mad at you, Steve” You said with a sweet smile.

Steve isn’t exactly sure how this happened. The feelings.

At least, that’s what he told himself. He knew damn well how this happened.

And it wasn’t two nights ago.

He’d developed feelings for you prior to that. You were always so supportive of him, you stayed by his side, not to mention that pretty face of yours.

So, when you told him to go off with that woman at the party, he took that as his sign that you didn’t feel the same way about him.

He went off with her, allowing her to flirt, pretending that it was you. That’s the only reason she ended up sucking him off, because he was pretending she was you.

Steve was more than surprised to find you watching them, but he didn’t mind. This was perfect.

He honestly wouldn’t have cum if he wasn’t looking directly at your face.

He nearly scrambled after you when you left. He didn’t want you to go, but you’d left with Thor by the time he came back.

And now here he was, in the office. He knew why you were avoiding him. He just hoped he hadn’t scared you, or came off as weird.

When you told him it was because you had felt sick, he partially believed it. He could sense the tension though.

Just two days after you’d told him you were fine, he couldn’t take it anymore. He needed you. He hated how distant you seemed now.

“Y/n. My office” He said sternly one morning, noticing how everyone became dead silent at the prospect of him angry.

You looked the most shocked, tensing up before nodding and following him to his office.

“What did I do, Captain?” You asked meekly and Steve huffed.

“What has been up with you lately?” He asked once the door to his office shut behind you. “And don’t tell me you don’t know” He said, stepping closer.

“I- fuck…Steve, don’t make me do this” You plead with him and he quirked a brow.

“Jesus fine, I have…feelings for you, Steve” You finally admitted. You’d been harboring that for longer than you thought. “I tried to push them away, and then at the party…when you…” You trailed off and huffed.

“I feel the same way…I just wasn’t sure if you did so that’s why I went off with that woman and-“ Steve rambled and you cut him off by pulling him by his collar towards you, pressing your lips to his in a searing kiss.

Steve let out a guttural groan at the feeling of your lips on his. He moved his lips against yours, pressing you up against the nearest wall.

When you pulled back for air, your eyes met his and he nearly melted. “My girl” He muttered and you were pretty sure your knees gave out, but Steve had one arm wrapped around your waist, preventing you from quite literally sinking into the floor.

Steve trailed kisses from your jawline and down to your neck, leaving a few marks as he went along, much to your dismay.

“Steve, please…” You muttered and he hummed against your skin, a smirk pulling at his lips.

“I think my girl deserves a reward” He muttered “As an apology for me forcing her, what do you think?” He asked and you nodded your head profusely.

“Alright…I won’t make you wait” He said and helped you out of your pants and panties, kneeling down in front of you while you were still pressed to the wall.

“Hold on” He said and moved you, your legs now being over his shoulders. He held you up while also pressing you against the wall in a sitting position.

He didn’t warn you, he just dove in, his tongue swirling around your folds, finding your clit almost immediately.

“F-Fuck! Steve, oh my god!” You cried out immediately as he began to suck and lick at your clit. He had no mercy, devouring you like you were his last meal.

He was moaning himself, gaining some sort of pleasure from the sounds of yours.

It didn’t take you long to get close, gently tugging at his his long hair. “Steve, I’m close…” You warned, but he only sped up, which made you throw your head back, crying out his name as you finally came.

Your hips shook against his face, your legs too, as he lapped up your juices and rode you through your high.

Steve finally placed you down, only having to catch you. Your legs were way too numb after that to be standing properly.

“Shit, what are we going to tell the others?”

TO BE CONTINUED…?

A/n: I have ideas for a Part 2 if you guys are interested!!

[slapthosewilliessilly]

Got a dude feeling brainwashed

AN; You guys have been waiting so patiently and I seriously appreciate it with the shit going on in my personal life! I really hope you guys enjoy this I’ve always been a huge fan of this song and the idea of stoner!josh yearning something fucking awful lol

Blue is Josh’s thoughts!

Green is texts between Josh and whoever is specified!

I totally imagine Josh crushing on a reader who’s a bit alt tbh. Wearing horror movie shirts, has a couple piercings- loves watching movies with him.

Requests are still open! Plz give me some time to get to them

Warnings; Drug use, jealousy, lowkey internet stalking, Josh is pathetic, Josh definitely smokes cigarettes, AFAB reader, Reader in a committed relationship, Yearning!Josh, Stoner!Josh, Reader has facial piercings, Alt!Reader, cigarette smoking, Nosferatu mention because idc it’s my newest fav movie

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The room was quiet except for the sound of soft mumbled music playing from the tv speakers, paired with gentle taps on the window from the drizzle of rain outside. A faint reminder of the world around him. Josh didn’t pay any mind to it, he was preoccupied to say the least.

He was scrolling through your page again. Something he seemed to be doing more and more even though he promised himself he’d stop. It’s almost like he wanted to torture himself.

Nothing wrong with a little bit of sleuthing from time to time. He’d justify to no one but himself.

A faint smile tugging on the corners of his lips as he looked at your selfie posts, sometimes with mutual friends, more often than not by yourself. Josh’s fingers twitched slightly, he forgot he even had a lit cigarette between his fingers in his other hand. It was easy for you to get him sidetracked- even if you didn’t know it.

Even if it was just your picture popping up on his phone.

Bringing the cigarette to his lips and inhaling, exhaling the smoke through his nostrils before reaching over and putting out his cigarette in his little ashtray on his bedside table. He didn’t look away from his phone screen, focused on your instagram posts covering his screen.

He really didn’t know why he teasing himself like this- just endlessly scrolling your page and looking at your pictures that he’s already seen damn near a hundred times. His heart beating just a little faster as he came across the only picture you posted with him in it- effectively pausing his doom scrolling.

It was at some party at Mike’s house some months ago. Josh honestly couldn’t remember what it was for but he did remember how the only reason he really wanted to go was because you were there. You were smiling and laughing, dressed in something like a cute pair of jeans with a baggy Carrie shirt and an oversized flannel that was definitely Josh’s- one he was all too eager to let you borrow the moment you said you were getting cold.

The flash from the camera made your silver piercings glint in the photo. Josh was holding your phone to take the selfie, big grin on his face with his arm around your shoulders- his hand holding his red solo cup by your shoulder.

Josh remembered taking the selfie with you hoping for a million more.

Safe to say it didn’t happen.

Josh would literally never tell anyone, but he secretly took a screenshot of that selfie together and printed it out. He keeps it hidden away in his wallet, he likes to think of it as his good luck charm.

Josh’s thumb absentmindedly continued to scroll to the previous post and to the one before that, it was almost ritualistic for him. Whenever he missed you he went to your page, the feeling of comfort and warmth building in his chest as he looked at your captured moments in time.

The feeling quickly went away when the next photo appeared on his screen.

His lips absentmindedly forming a frown as he practically glared at his phone. As if he wasn’t the one to scroll down to the photo himself.

It’s not that it was a bad photo of you- no no there were no bad photos of you. Josh didn’t think it was possible for there to be a bad picture of you.

You were sat on some bathroom counter, one of Eric’s hands were placed on your waist. You were half turned around, peering over your shoulder with a big grin and tongue poking out. Your tongue piercing evident and those pretty eyes he loved were hazy red. Eric had matching red hazy eyes, holding your phone with a big toothy grin as he took the photo of you two.

Josh couldn’t help but think bitterly, a scowl carelessly forming on his face. He looked over Eric in the photo again, hyper focused on looking for any details that could help add fuel to his one sided hatred.

How could you not see what a fucking tool Eric was?

Josh hated thinking like this but he lost that fight when he pulled up your instagram page 20 minutes ago.

Dirty ass fingernails? Seriously Eric? Even Mike knows better than that dude.

At least she looks great in that pose.

Josh tried not to pay any mind to the feeling of frustration building in his thoughts before quickly scrolling away. Silently thankful that you didn’t really post anything else with Eric on your main page- mostly you just had your Eric content on Snapchat instead.

He scoffed to himself. Turning his phone off with a click and tossing it down onto some random spot on the mattress, Josh ran his hands over his face. Sighing hard through his nostrils. He felt pathetic like this, stalking your online accounts regularly- hyper attentive to anything you posted.

He needed to do something, anything to stop him from going down the rabbit hole that was you again. He did it too often anymore.

Muted buzzing from said phone made Josh immediately reach for it and unlock it quickly. The name Sweets 🍫 made his heart beat just a little faster.

Speak of the devil.

; Hey! Wanna hang out? I got two tickets to Noesferatu, if you’re busy it’s cool just let me know! ☺️☺️

Josh smiled a little. His thumbs typing a quick response before he could fully comprehend what he was about to send.

; Sounds sick lol want me to bring some 🍃 ??

; Yes plzzz 🙏🏻 that’d be perfect lol

Now he had to actually get ready.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Getting into your car was almost surreal every time Josh did it. It was always so clean, smelled like something that was uniquely you. The dashboard sticker-bombed and graffitied on with sharpie.

“Whats goin’ on girl?” Josh asked playfully as he seated himself in the front passenger seat, quickly buckling himself in.

“Hey!” You couldn’t help but greet sweetly. He loved it. “You got the green? I already got the movie tickets.” You smiled, both hands on the wheel as you started to pull out onto the main road.

He loved moments like this. Just the two of you.

“Yeah you wanted the gummies right?” He asked.

“I was thinking we could hot box actually.”

Oh?

“Since when do you like hot boxing? I thought you preferred the gummies lately?” Josh couldn’t help but ask. Either way he always had a couple gummies wrapped up in one of his pockets and a couple spliffs in a different pocket.

You rolled your eyes, grin never leaving your features. “Eric hates hot boxing, I’ve only been refraining for him.”

Oh yeah- Eric.

“He prefers edibles but they get old after a while.”

Josh dryly chuckled. “Noted. Either way I got us covered.”

“Sick.” You replied cooly, the atmosphere between the two of you was always relaxing. Even just in the car. The only sound was the music playing on the radio quietly, that and the patter of rain paired with windshield wipers as you both cruised down the familiar road of town.

The ride wasn’t a super long one, parking more towards the back of the movie theater parking lot. Somewhat of a packed night then. You unbuckled your seatbelt, turning to face Josh and in turn he did the same. Pulling the spliffs out of his pocket and handing you the first one. He always made sure you got to smoke first.

Josh spoiled you like that.

“Smells good.” You commented before reaching into your pocket and grabbing your lighter. Some old one with pac-man on it that Chris left in your car forever ago.

“I only have the good stuff.” Josh joked weakly, bringing the other spliff to his lips and holding it there, crumbling up the bag he had them in and shoving it in his pocket.

“C’mere.” The way you spoke held a special reserve of sweetness, one that Josh knew you only really used on Eric.

Josh almost did a double take when you said that, he hoped the faint flush on his cheeks wasn’t too noticeable. It felt so good to hear you use that tone with him.

Josh nodded before leaning closer to you, slightly hesitant when he noticed you leaning in closer as well. His air half way caught in his throat when the ends of your spliff touched his, your hand flicking the lighter and lighting both of them at the same time. You were so close.

Josh’s eyes couldn’t help but be focused on your face. Your features basked in the warm orange glow of the lighter flame between the both of you. What he would give for a photo of you like this, with this lighting, in his wallet.

Just for him.

You pulled back once both were lit up properly, taking a deep inhale before moving the spliff away from your lips. Exhaling the smoke through your lips, Josh was quick to follow suit.

“Not that I mind it just being you and me but I gotta ask-“ Josh started to speak, fiddling with the rolled slightly burning tube between his fingers. “I thought you were gonna watch the movie with Eric.” Josh said, his eyes giving you a sideways glance. Hoping that his curiosity wasn’t too much. “What made you want to go with me instead?” Josh asked almost a little too quickly, bringing the spliff back up to his lips and quickly inhaling.

You pursed your lips, taking a slow drag before flicking the ashes into the ashtray that seemed to be glued to your cup holder.

“Honestly he’s been pissing me off a little bit lately.” You answered genuinely. Josh’s eyebrow twitched.

“How so?” He asked. His voice almost mellow sounding.

You shrugged. “It’s just that like- ugh.” Your tone sounding a little more frustrated before leaning your head back against the drivers seat. “I don’t know man. Just seems like every time I want to go out and do something with him he’s just not that interested anymore unless we’re going out to eat or we are going to a store we’ve been to a hundred times before.” You admitted, glancing at Josh once more.

“Sorry. There’s more to it and I don’t want to waste our time bitching ya know? Just frustrated.” You tried to laugh it off, Josh’s hand absentmindedly reaching forward and touching the middle of your back. Rubbing soothing circles.

“It’s okay.” He spoke, tone sweeter than before. “You could never waste my time- you know that.” Josh reassured with a small smile.

You nodded almost meekly, “Thank you.”

Silence settled between the two of you again, smoking the rest of what you each had and your car filling with the smoke. Evidence of what you two were doing.

Josh never moved his hand. His large hand was stilled, no longer making slow circular movements to soothe you but instead it was now resting on the small of your back. He didn’t want to chance moving in case you remembered exactly where his hand was.

Until Eric came along you two were always pretty physically affectionate. Josh would never admit it out loud but god he missed it so bad. Chris however never failed to give him a hard time when the two of them were alone and you were brought up in conversation.

It wasn’t until you put out your roach in the ashtray did Josh realize how little of his own he had left. Cracking the window open so the two of you could fully breathe again, Josh quickly put the rest of his out as well.

“Ready to go?”

Josh nodded in response to your question, despite his soft expression he begrudgingly moving his hand away from your back.

“Let’s go.”

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AN; I REALLY HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOYED! I threw my whole puss into this bruh 😭 depending on how good this goes I WILL make a part two! Please don’t hesitate to let me know what you guys think! Thank you again so much for your patience 🥰🥰🥰🥰

[slavicdolls4mangione]

hi!! this isn’t supposed to come off rude in any way, it’s a genuine question that i just wanted to ask a luigi blog haha

a lot of u have been saying that writing fics of him is perfectly fine, and i understand fluff/angst but personally i’ve never understood why we all think writing smut of him is an okay thing to do? i’ve read some smut one shots for him but i do think it’s quite weird to write smut for a man who could be facing the death penalty?? idk, i understand if u ignore this but i just wanted to know from ur pov (or any other blog) if when u guys say that it’s fine to write for him you’re still including smut in that, or if friday made u rethink? just wanna emphasise that i think it’s perfectly fine if ur still planning to write smut i just wondered if someone could explain why it’s not weird to write smut of a random guy who’s just been thrusted into the public eye with no choice

like i was thinking about how when we write to him but we’ve also spent our nights reading/writing smut of him does that not feel weird??

hi!

well i obviously can’t speak for every lu blog on here so i’ll share my personal opinion if that’s okay with you ?

i’ve been engaging in different fandoms since my early teenage years so i’ve always been exposed to smut and it’s just something i naturally started reading, i think most people on tumblr experienced it that way too.

as for lu, i’m not gonna sit here and act like i never read smut written with him because i have and i wrote suggestive scenes once or twice in my own stuff as well. now, i personally and i insist on that word, haven’t really felt comfortable reading nor writing smut with lu since last friday and don’t think i will for now; i have read some fluff since then tho. i want to make it clear that i’m absolutely not shaming those who are reading or writing smut already, everyone has their own preferences and move at different paces !!

now why do people write smut ? because they want to, that's really the only answer i have for you; there are as many reasons people write smut as there are people who write anything else. and well, when you’re attracted to someone you sometimes happen to fantasize of being intimate with the person or how it would feel like ? idk i think it’s a form of self expression just as any other trope or genre.

i hope what i said makes sense and if any of my mutuals or fellow lu writers have anything to add please feel free to do so!

[ghosstyboo]

I just wanna say I love you all! Thank you to my mutuals/friends💗

I've also wanted friends and I wanted to talk to people but I had a hard time coming out to people since I had a really bad experience with some old friends who didn't care for me, who threatened things, and guilt tripped me to think that I was in the wrong or that I was horrible. Then for so long, I didn't talk to anyone, I was crying so much all by myself, I felt extremely anxious, I kept on blaming myself for everything, and I hated myself. I was not in a good mental state.

When I first made my first mutual/friend on Tumblr I was so scared because of those old experiences. But then I genuinely enjoyed their company, I felt safe, I felt happy, and they made me laugh like I didn't have to be scared or anxious anymore. Then I started to make more mutuals and I felt more comfortable making more friends I was cared for like I was never before I never felt scared or anxious to come online in fact I feel so happy when I do, I smile, I laugh, even when I'm feeling down you guys seem to make me feel so much better and put me in an amazing mood!

You guys have become the most important people in my life and I will never stop supporting you, loving you, or being there for you cause I wanna see you guys smile and be happy in life. I wanna see you guys feel comfortable in your own skin cause you guys deserve so much more and you guys are the most amazing and sweetest people to hang out with you guys deserve so much more. Just know that I love anything you post or share with me and that I'm here for you no matter what and I will never deny you.

I would never feel annoyed whenever you come out to me and I want you to come out to me because I don't ever wanna see you go through such horrible things by yourself. I wanna be there for you guys, just like you were there for me. Thank you for everything, you guys truly are my family and I'm happy to have you guys in my life🤍

I love you all so much and i wanna let you guys know how grateful i am for all of you!❤️

@cyybercyko @sammylbir @lucygoosey719 @kokichighost143 @dreamzghostz @iluvsaihara @jukedoxxed-st @deebiggestg @maristarz @orgiasticonsundae @horomi-suzume2 @rats-in-hatz @shardsofvoices @konxhk @jammyjams1910 @tomboyvampire23

[villainsapologist]

the interview

Summary: You’re the newest member of the band and you’re doing your first sit down interview with James – who is definitely in love with you.

Warnings/Tags: James Hetfield x Reader, RPF, load era james, fluff, mutual pining, explicit language, sexually suggestive content, no smut though, still intended for 18+

Wordcount: 1.97K

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“Tell us how you first got in contact with these guys.” The interviewer asked. You are sitting beside James on the couch with barely any space between the two of you. The interviewer faces you both, his recorder resting on the arm of the single seater with a pen and notepad in his hands.

“Well we actually connected through my friend Brandon who worked as an assistant producer on one of the records on the album.” You spoke calmly, acutely aware that everything you say, every movement and miniscule expression will probably be written about by the interviewer. And to add to that you could feel his eyes staring into the side of your face. James had his arm slung across the back of the couch, you could feel the heat radiating off his body. 

“Yeah it’s actually really interesting because our newest member here was only supposed to come in for one day.” James spoke up.

“Brandon and I had been friends for a long time and together we would make little things here and there for fun.” You had often spent your Saturdays with him playing and writing together. When he told you about the opportunity he had gotten to help produce a Metallica album you were so excited for him. 

“He has a studio in his house so we would hang out and just come up with stuff, you know.” You glance upwards in James’ direction, a tight lipped smile playing across your face. In response he gives you that familiar grin, the one where basically all his teeth are on display. 

“And one day we stumbled upon something that he thought the guys would really like and could get some inspiration from.” You answered, turning back towards the interviewer. “So I went in one morning and was basically only supposed to be there for a couple of hours. But before we knew it we had spent the entire day working together.” 

“By the end of the week we had completed one of the tracks and she was so ingrained in the whole thing that there was no way we could play it without her.” James explained.

“That’s the one you guys played during her debut right?” The interviewer questioned. Less than twenty-four hours ago you played your first show with them. An experience that you are still reeling from. You would never have believed anyone if just a year ago they would have told you that you would be onstage playing with one of the greatest bands of all time. 

“Yes, and wasn’t she amazing” James answers, never missing an opportunity to go on about how talented you are. “I mean the crowd loved her solo so much, I just knew they would.” He beamed, thinking back to the day before. You were beyond nervous, the entire thing almost a blur. The smoke machine, the crowd, the music, it all blended together. You only remember James saying your name over the mic and the wind between your fingers as you pulled at the strings of your guitar.

— — — 

“What about the dynamic between you all? How has it been working with these guys as not only the newest member but also the youngest.” The interviewer asked as he perched up in his seat, eyes glancing between the two of you. “Is it a sibling thing or are they more like your daddies?” 

Your head slowly turns to James who couldn’t help himself as he burst out laughing. “My daddies? What…” An air of confusion in your voice. 

“Right, huh?” James agrees with your confusion, his eyebrows furrowed with a smile on his face. Although to be totally honest he seemed more amused than confused.

“Definitely more of a sibling dynamic I would say. I mean they’re all really cool and have been very welcoming. We’ve also been hard at work so…”

“So who would you say is your favorite so far, if you would dare?” The interviewer cuts in, eyebrows raised, a smirk playing on his lips. 

“Definitely not Lars.” James cheekily admits. “I'm just kidding, she hates us all now.” You shake your head at James’ comments. 

“I wouldn’t say hate, but I definitely liked you guys more in the beginning.” you add, only half joking. “No, but seriously Kirk’s a sweetheart and we got some time to bond over our guitars. James and I both write and with the album I also got some vocals in, as you probably heard.”

“I know she seems like a sweet little thing, but she’s actually very strict.” James tells the interviewer. “What's the word you used again?” he turns back to you.

“Boundaries.”

“Yeah that. Boundaries. No touching without permission. And when those headphones go on, you would be an idiot to disturb her.” James tells the interviewer. 

“I know it seems odd but I promise if you spend almost every waking moment with these guys for months on end you would see that it’s necessary.” You added to your defense. Truthfully you weren't really bothered by them touching you. It was fun and you enjoyed being silly with them. You just had to come up with something to stop James specifically from touching you. Reason being well…the body does have a mind of its own and whenever he would so much as brush past you, your breath would begin to waver and your body would heat up in a flash.

Case in point that one late night at the studio when it was just you, James, and a few others from the tech team. He sat beside you holding a photo album he found with an assortment of early days Metallica photos, excitedly showing off and recounting stories from the time period.

He had seemingly… unknowingly snaked his free arm around your waist as he used his other hand to turn the pages of the album. At that point your mind became so fogged that you couldn't even comprehend anything he was saying. You were holding your breath so silently beside him. And then it got worse, you were wearing a thin fitted baby tee with nothing beneath it and of course your nipples had to start getting visibly hard. 

“Have some fucking self control.” You scolded yourself internally. It was so embarrassing, but if James had noticed he never said anything. You really didn't want to be that person. You wanted it to remain as friendly as possible with the guys. The thought of everything becoming awkward and the judgement you feared you would face if people found out that you were romantically involved with one of your bandmates, made you recoil.

You feared that you would not be taken seriously and that your hard work of getting into the band and creating such amazing art that meant so much to you would be summed up to you just fucking the guys and getting what you wanted. So you took the opportunity one day when the guys were being playful with each other and consequently you, to act increasingly annoyed with their antics. 

“Get off! New rule, no touching me without permission. Where are the boundaries in this group? Damn.” You didn’t mean it but you had to come up with something. 

— — — 

“You said that you guys have been hard at work. Is that all you guys have had time for – no bonding moments outside of that?” The interviewer continued. Considering that James only looked at him when he was asking him a question, coupled with the fact that he was staring holes into you – the interviewer was sure he had an idea of the dynamic budding between the two of you.

“Well James is a bit of a redneck, I’m not sure if a lot of people know that. So he took me fishing and hunting for the first time. It was definitely an experience…” You trailed off, recounting that day.

“More so fishing, there was very little hunting done. Someone started crying so we had to wrap that up quickly.” James remarks in a teasing tone. 

“I so didn't cry.” You rolled your eyes.

“You so did cry.” James rebutted, side-eyeing you with that grin.

“Maybe a little. If the animal also had a gun then I would feel much better and maybe then I would call it a sport. But on a brighter note I caught a really big fish! That was fun.” James couldn’t help the warm feeling in his chest as he watched you talk about the time you spent together – just the two of you. Honestly from the first moment he saw you he hasn’t stopped thinking about you since. Every minute of every hour, now consumed with you. 

When he suggested you two do an outdoorsy activity you were elated to finally be doing something other than music, just for a little while. Plus you would get to know another aspect of who James is. 

There is always more to James than meets the eye. It was something you had suspected before you really knew him but now you know for sure. His exterior suggested a more hardened individual but as you spent more time with him, you were met with this incredibly attentive and caring person. More times than not if you looked at James you would find his eyes already on you. At first it made you shift a bit nervously on the spot and made a certain shyness creep up on you. But now it brings you comfort. Now it feels like you have someone who sees you, and for the most part likes what they see.

— — —

“Nice. I’m sure your family, friends and partner are thrilled for you. Although now you probably won’t see them much. You’re going to be on the road for quite some time from now on. How have you been navigating this new change with them?” The motive for the interviewer's line of questioning wasn't lost on you. Both you and James had caught it, “partner”. You debated whether or not you would address that particular part or just ignore it. 

“Yeah they can’t believe it, honestly I’m still coming to terms with it myself. But they are very supportive, I’m lucky to have them.” You ignored it. But as it turns out the interviewer had no intention of letting you off the hook that easily.

“Ah so your boyfriend is very supportive then. That’s great considering how much time you have to now spend so closely with a group of men who aren’t him”. There it was, probably the first of many pushy press interactions to come. You chuckled nervously and as you were about to speak up, James did it for you.

“I don’t think I recall her saying anything about a boyfriend just now. Did I miss that?” His smile is gone as he turns to the interviewer, a puzzled look on his face. James knows he should pull it back, he shouldn’t be so negatively affected by this question but he really couldn’t contain it. He was an emotional and impulsive person to begin with, and when it came to you everything went into overdrive. 

“I didn’t, but it’s alright.” You assured James, acutely aware of his growing frustration. The interviewer on the other hand seemed to get exactly what he was hoping for. A barely audible “hmm” comes from him as he scribbles something in his notepad. 

“Well just a couple more questions.” He closes his notepad and looks between you and James. Thankfully the questions that followed were routine. Although you were only giving him half of your full attention. James had now moved his arm from the back of the couch to rest behind you. His fingers brushing your elbow.

He made up his mind, after this he had to let you know how he felt. No more subtle suggestions. He’ll do it tonight. 

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A/N: first of all i need him. second i have another idea for these two - the confessions and the ******* part.

Also please don't be shy, tell me what you think! my inbox is open :)

<3

[oneluckydragon]

got hit with the echo+sora brainrot so i am once more rambling in your askbox about it. because reasons.

anywho i think there is something truly saddening about echo's struggles to make peace within herself and how she truly finds it hard to find that peace when she is so certain that if the truth about her origins were to be revealed to the world, much less to *sora*, everything she achieved, everything she worked for, all of which matters to her most, will crumble away in a moment's notice.

but the fear of losing all your life's work is none compared to the fear of losing sora. the feeling of poison that settled itself within themselves and between each other out of fear and tragedy of what had happened to them is familiar. echo's resemblance to dusknoir was already enough to set the two off because of how much it had all hurt to see someone you love and yourself turn into a mockery and a splitting image of someone who had pretended to care yet showed he never did at all, but this poison is louder. it hurts to bare, to carry, and to have none but yourself to be its sole holder.

but this poison, this feeling of heartache is different. because whereas the previous pain was something both of them felt, sora was lucky enough to not have known the truth about the person who she cares for so dearly.

echo knows that she used to be darkrai. and it haunts her to have known that her previous incarnation was so *cruel*, all for the sake of it just feeling right. wishing to engulf an entire world in darkness, solely for whatever desire she used to have.

and for how much she knows, how much she will hammer it into her own head that she is *not* like that anymore, that she looks at her past with sneer and disgust and that she will not be the barer of evil anymore, it will not matter in the slightest when she will have to look at sora if she were to ever find out.

how afraid, angry and dejected she would look when finding out, and how she will go on the defense/offense because of how much this will overwhelm her.

because when echo looks at her own shadow, she sees herself for what she is. she knows what she is, be it out of shame or guilt.

but when sora will look at it, she will see a tall, contorting and menacing shadow, towering over with a bright cyan eye doing nothing but looking at her, as if tempting her to make the next move.

and she defends herself. from someone she knows will not harm her. she raises her arms up in self defense from a hand that would never hurt her more than the world has already did.

she knows echo will not hurt her. and thats why she is afraid.

Oh my oh my OH MY, Sinnoh!!! YES YES YES!

HOW!!! IN THE WORLD!!! Are you so good at crawling into my head and creating these vivid analysis/snippets on my OCs??? I've barely shared ANY information about Echo and Sora because I've been wanting to hoard most of my stuff for when my fic is finally finished... but... I think you've broken my resolve a bit, if I'm entirely honest.

You know what? I'm so inspired by your accuracy and eagerness to talk about my girls that I'm gonna forgo my crippling anxiety regarding my writing skills and instead post a snippet of my WIP fic here as a treat for you. A teaser, if you will. Since I have no idea when the fic in question will actually be done and ready (or when I will be satisfied with it, cause the thing is currently 36,000 words and still slowly climbing). And now you've got me eager to share SOMETHING of my fic with you and anyone that might want to take a peek at it.

Please enjoy this conversation between Dusknoir and Echo. The topic deals a lot with what you'd described up above!! c:

[Note: this is an unedited part of my fic because I am still in the process of writing and it may change in the future, so please be gentle w/ me but I'd love to read any thoughts/comments that pop up while reading!! pls send asks or replies or anything really cause I love you guys]

+++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++

“I’m going to tell you something now, and you are going to listen.” Echo commands with a sharp bite in her voice that Dusknoir cannot fathom ignoring. He pauses and then offers a slow nod, waiting, wondering what she could possibly desire to tell him at a time like this, of all things.

Minutes pass as Echo remains rooted in place, still as her own shadow, and her eyes dart around as she stares at the patches of dry grass and sand beneath her paws. Her claws clench and unclench, digging into the earth like daggers as the wind of the forest (it’s trees so close, just behind them, a looming sort of presence that could engulf them whole) whistles through the surrounding branches, carrying stray leaves of many bright greens through the chilling breeze. Dusknoir watches them dance around Echo, twirling, floating down, down, down… but it’s quiet, too quiet, and Dusknoir feels a shiver pass through him when Echo’s voice finally rings out through the silence.

"When I evolved, Sora was petrified," She says, nearly a whisper, an admission that melts away her confidence and appears to bring her a flood of both shame and regret. Her face twists up then, strangely, like she’d felt a twinge of pain from somewhere deep inside the very fabric of her own soul and was unable to quell it. "She couldn’t even bring herself to look at me most days. At first, my appearance… well, it reminded her too much of you. And eventually of someone I used to be.”

Someone I used to be. At that, Dusknoir’s immediate reaction is to recall Echo’s previous life as a human, as the miserable shell of a creature surviving alongside Grovyle that he’d relentlessly hunted in the dark future. A human made of contempt and anger and apathy, who never smiled or laughed or cried or screamed like the old legends said humans would-- an entity that simply existed rather than lived. An echo of a life long dead and buried. But, judging by her tone, by her voice, by some uneasy intuition itching in the back of his mind like a swarm of pestilent Ninjask… he knows that she means something else entirely. Something that she isn’t willing to share. And frankly, that concept utterly terrifies him.

Someone I used to be. Dusknoir wants to speak, to break his own silence, wants to ask the myriad of questions bubbling up in his throat because this isn't the first time she's hinted at another life beyond being human, but those questions die at the source like a flame doused in water. And always the coward, coward, coward, instead he takes the easy way out by doing nothing at all. Whether Echo notices his surge of inner conflict or not-- the nervous wring of his hands and the tremble in his spine that he cannot control under her gaze-- she does not react.

“I’d take a step and Sora would flinch away.” Echo confesses, her markings flickering with light before going dark and dead, as if her body wished to snuff them out entirely, a deep seated rejection, a self-loathing so strong that Dusknoir cannot help but recognize it and empathize, and his heart aches, “It took ages for her to stop shaking when I’d speak. To stop looking at me like-- like I was going to…” 

Echo grimaces like she’s enduring waves of grueling torture and doesn’t finish that string of thought, but it’s not hard to make an educated guess on what went unsaid. Like I was going to betray her. Hurt her. Break her heart. She’s been through so much already and I couldn’t bear to be another influence in the history of her suffering. I hate myself because of how I made her feel. When her eyes went wide in fear and through them I could see myself staring back like some sort of burden, some sort of curse.

“I am not my past.” Proud and true, Echo straightens up and holds her head high, a spark igniting in her eyes, a glint of determination, a will to keep going and going despite such circumstances and strife, despite this horrid, unspeakable past that haunts her so, “And I am definitely not you. It’s taken a while, but I know that much now. I’ve accepted it.”

I am not my past. And I am definitely not you.

A sigh, a breath, and Echo glances at him with a certain sorrow that cannot be described, a sorrow that lingers even through the veil of her tenacity, "But no matter how I feel, no matter my conviction, my shadows still find ways through the cracks. Every time I think I'm getting a grip and that I might finally understand myself… I change all over again." She admits, sounding more angry and tired than defeated now-- like a mirror of her old self, her human self that had clawed and damned and cursed him, despised him more than anything. "I hate it. I hate that I never truly know who I am. That I have to learn about my past through stories others tell me, or through fragments of twisted, broken memories that I wouldn't wish on anyone. Through conflict and pain and… and..."

"Echo," Dusknoir murmurs her name softly, an offering, a potential escape if only she would wish to drop the subject and forget this conversation had ever happened-- if she'd overstepped and needed an excuse to back out, a diversion, an understanding. And briefly, Dusknoir wonders why she is opening up about this particular information, why she would delve into something so vulnerable, so personal. Why she would bring up this hurtful history when it obviously brings her great discomfort.

And then, he gets an answer.

“You’re lucky, Dusknoir." There it is, that wildfire burning in her eyes again. A spark that’s new and bold and startling. But lucky? No, never. He'd have to disagree, accounting the mountain of evidence that was his life and regrettable deeds.

"You already know exactly who you are and what you’ve done, and most importantly why. You have more than a tattered picture of yourself that reflects broken answers. And you can change with that knowledge. I see you trying.” She tells him, searching, looking for something so deeply and Dusknoir wishes he knew what it could be so that he could give it to her, because he would, he would gladly give it to her without a second thought if it meant they could be close again. But he isn’t a fool, and he’s wise enough to know they’ll never be like they were before. “And if somehow I could change, even as half-assed as I have. Well, then what’s your excuse?”

You can do it, say her unspoken words, I believe in you.

[shitty-goose-quack]

the way she smiled when she picked up the phone really inspired me lol

[babymorte]

all these dudes keep adding me on snap through quick add and i don’t know who any of them are i literally have 5 friends and one of them is my 2nd account, i don’t sync contacts and i only have 6 contacts in my phone anyway and ive literally asked everyone cuz im socially awkward and i dont wanna ask these dudes who they are or how they know me cuz thats weird but like HOW DO YOU KNOW ME

[yeonban]

I was thinking there aren't enough memes catered to third parties on this site (ex. two muses talking about a third) which imo make rp flow so much smoother sometimes bc it feels more realistic for interactions to not start & end at only the two people directly involved, but then I realized... blud, you have a meme sideblog. You can literally make your own dreams come true

[torchickentacos]

Okay, I've spoken to several of you who like both of these things and I need to know how deep this runs because it's an 'if I had a nickel for each time this thing happened, I'd have (x) nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it's happened (x) times' thing-

[skrunksthatwunk]

ryUTI ga gotoku