#i have more words i could say on the subject but
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":')))))))) you realise that gen AI is available to everyone though right??? Queer creators can use it just as much as anyone else??? I just don't understand this post... It really feels like a cheap way to get on the 'AI Bad's bandwagon, and coming from such a thoughtful and insightful creator that's incredibly disappointing... It's okay to not comment on subjects you're not an expert in y'know...?"
Y'all know the drill, I am replying to this publicly but that is not an invitation to send any negative messages to the person I am replying to.
Anyways, let me start by saying that the original context of the post you're replying to is discussing an event where a queer org used generative AI to steal an interview with Keri Hulme. So let's start there. To be clear I don't even know if the original interviewer was queer so let's put the identities of stealer and stolen from to the side. I want to explain the harm done in this example specifically and I hope this is illustrative of what harm generative AI can (and does) do.
The original place I saw generative AI was a queer org that explicitly says they are using generative AI "for good", and as a way to bring more queer history to light. So let's take them at their word, and assume they are not out to cause harm. This is the best example of generative AI that I can imagine, so I hope that makes it clear that I am not coming at this issue from bad faith in any way.
Here is the harm they are causing:
Decontextualizing and rephrasing an interview: I am not going to pretend that I am an expert in academic best practices, but I do believe one thing, if a person is speaking on their own identity and lived experience, it is always much better to directly quote than it is to rephrase. As I read this source, I initially didn't know that it was AI, and I was already upset. An interview that is widely available on the internet with no pay wall, was poorly sourced and made more vague than it was in the initial text. By creating one degree of seperation between the original words of A WRITER (whose literal job was largely based in choosing the right words to describe experiences they had) harm is already done. It makes vague what was once clear, and removes Keri Hulme's voice from her own narrative.
The original interviewer is not paid, or given proper recognition: I get it, sometimes just copy pasting an interview doesn't feel transformative enough, but something that one would learn if they worked in the queer history field and weren't a literal robot rehashing what has already been said, is that not everything needs to be transformed. In those cases, we give credit to the person who said the original words (in this case Keri Hulme), and the interviewer who facillitated the conversation (in this case Shelley Bridgeman). This case (again a best case scenario), takes the attention and byline away from the original interviewer and gives it to an AI.
The original publisher of this story is deinsentivised from paying interviewers in the future: The original publisher of this interview has ads on their website. As a person who also has ads on their website, taking an article like this and rephrasing it for no good reason (the orginal word count was not prohibitive and the rephrasing did not make it more readable), takes money from the publisher. It's pennies, but it's also removing numbers could have been used to justify further interviews with asexual people and archiving of asexual stories. The org that stole from this publication does not interview people themselves so the money and numbers that could have gone to continue to preserve asexual stories goes to stealing them instead.
These are just the active harms that I saw in this specific case. As you said, I am not an expert in generative AI, and will not be speaking as if I am. But I will say that asking me not to speak out on active harm that is being caused in queer history spaces, is disrespectful to my many years in this field.
To illustrate this even clearer: if you were a patron, you would know I recently took down an old article. I have been rereading and editing our backlist of articles, and I found one that no longer fit my standards of sourcing. My standards had recently raised due to a video made by HBomberguy about someone in the queer history space who was stealing from other creators. I watched this video not as a work project, but because I watch most of HBomberguys videos, and this one made me think more critically about sourcing. An AI can't do that. All an AI has is what has been inputted, and it is right now impossible to input every available peice of information about ethics into an AI and get a coherent ethical basis on which it will function.
It is a distinctly human trait to absorb information and change in that way. AI can rephrase information that already exists, steal it, recontextualize it even, but it cannot create something altogether new.
Do I believe that there one day might be an ethical use for Generative AI? Maybe. Do I believe that coming into a queer history space, stealing the words of a Maori asexual author, rephrasing them, and giving the original interviewer and publication no form of compensation for their work, is accomplishing that? No.
On a more personal note: I am coming at this issue with a bias. As a queer history creator, I do not want AI in my space, because it is literally damaging to my financial prospects. It has been like pulling teeth to try and get patrons in the current state of the global economy. I don't blame anyone from that, but I feel very disrespected that I am being asked to compete with a machine now. Not only that, but I am being asked to shut up and be fine with it? No, absolutely not. I cannot and will not stay quiet as space that I have fought tooth and nail to create in mainstream discussions is taken and given to AI.
AI was not supporting me when I was sent gore to try and scare me off of discussing queer history. A person did that. AI was not there to tell me I had written too many sad stories, and I needed some happy endings to remind myself of the good in the world. A person did that. AI was not there when I was being harrassed for supporting and including asexual stories on my website. A person did that.
And after all that, I am being asked to lie down and take it when my ability to pay the people who supported me in those ways, is being threatened. Nope. Not going to happen.
An AI doesn't have to make rent. An AI doesn't understand what it feels like to have to stop holding their wife's hand in public. An AI didn't get calls from people needing comfort in reaction to the election. Pay me for my work, and get this AI nonsense out of my face.
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The (133k 💀) notes on this post are FULL of people referencing 1984. Like I would guess about every third reblog with tags/comments mentions 1984.
And I'm not saying 1984 doesn't have relevance but I'm actually genuinely interested that in like 60k reblogs, I'm not sure anyone's made the literary comparison I would make, which is Farenheit 451.
See, cause 1984 is about state suppression of information. But Farenheit 451 is about the idea that, as the state of the world gets more distressing, people become increasingly hostile to the idea of discomfort, and refuse to acknowledge or speak about things that affect them. The first event of the story is the main character's wife attempting suicide, but when he tries to talk to her about what's wrong, she reacts as if the only problem is that he's talking about something negative.
So I kinda wonder why so many reblogs agree that 1984 is the reference point for this
maybe some of it is the role 1984 plays in the cultural canon and some of it is that, while it's a good book, a non-zero amount of F451 is also based on 'political correctness gone mad! shakespeare is cancelled because of Woke!'
but also
I think it speaks to the difference between what I was thinking of when I made this post (that people tend to a) confuse discomfort with harm and b) treat the word for a subject as the source of discomfort about the subject) to how the majority of people seem to read the post (social media censorship is stealing our language)
cause 1984 is about imposed censorship. and the majority of discussions mentioning 1984 on this post are referencing social media companies and occasionally governments legislating against certain language or topics. language is Taken From You by others, with the deliberate purpose of silencing dissent.
but Farenheit 451, while it includes very similar types of state suppression and manufactured consent, doesn't really frame the problem as originating from a dictatorial state but from our own communities' fear, looking for a target and for ways to feel comfortably innocent. That's not necessarily a more complete read than the 1984 one but it's closer to what I was originally thinking of.
Not talking about rape doesn't protect people from the effects of rape, just like not taking about depression or war or pain doesn't stop the characters in F451 trying to kill themselves to the degree there's a special emergency service devoted to undoing suicides. But people react as if it does.
And there's a whole lot I could also get into about how I think both this problem and the literary comparison connects to things like cosy fandom culture, and the proliferation of blockbuster franchises, and the fact that people are more up in arms about ship wars than actual genocide, and the Sex Scenes In Media discourse, and the discomfort around public expressions of 'deviant' sexualities or gender, and how we discuss discomfort as if it was harm, but those are different posts and this post is about language.
and 1984 is a perfectly apt (or doubleplus good) comparison, I just think it has the potential for fully externalising something which we need to also take some direct community responsibility for. It isn't just about what you're Allowed to say or what people say to you, it's about what role discomfort plays in our own minds and whether we feel it's an inherent evil to be uncomfortable.
you gotta be able to say "die"
you gotta be able to say "suicide"
you gotta be able to talk about "sex"
they're uncomfortable topics, YEAH for SURE
because LIFE is uncomfortable. Death and suicide and sex and pain are straight up going to happen. not having words for the way it discomforts you doesn't make it more comfortable, it just makes you less able to reach out about it.
even more vital, you gotta be able to say words like "rape", "abuse", "queer" or "racist". cause we fought fucking hard to name those experiences. to identify "rape" as distinct from "sex" and "racism" as distinct from "acceptable behaviour" and "queer" as distinct from "invert"
like the function of communication is not to minimise immediate discomfort. we gotta be able to talk about stuff that's hard or sucks or causes difficult conversations.
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Enchanted
Male reader x Loossemble's Gowon (playing Ashley).
tags: harvard student gowon, public sex, bathroom sex, blowjob, facial, pussy eating.
word count: 8.2k
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Settling in a new state was a pain, especially if you were a college student who had just entered Harvard, no less. But that bar on the outskirts of campus had become your little refuge every weekend after doing your homework.
Not knowing anyone and not having any friends yet had led you to inevitably look for some entertainment on your own. That's how you found that gem: a wide three-story building—one of them underground—made of red brick and adorned with narrow colonial-style windows with pale wooden frames.
From the first moment you walked in there you were enthralled by the faint aroma of old wood and the freshly made coffee. There were spaces for all kinds of activities, mainly bars of course. But there were also tables to eat at, pool tables, dart boards, and even reading spaces with bookshelves where students like you could go to simply relax while doing their stuff.
Despite all these mini-ecosystems designed so that everyone could choose their preferred environment, all the activity was concentrated in the main bar on the second floor, where you spent most of your time and where you were at that very moment, on a cold Saturday at 8 pm.
The night was particularly quiet, lacking the usual crowds that there were at that time. It was probably due to the weather; you understood that many preferred to be in their rooms, warm under their blankets and enjoying their free time in a calm way. But you weren't doing too bad there, sitting on one of the stools in front of the semi-circular bar while drinking a beer and watching a Celtics game, well wrapped up in your windbreaker and winter hat.
There were few people around you, some watching the game as well and others just chatting among themselves at tables in the corners. The floor below, however, was and sounded busier since a birthday was being celebrated, and the drinks were slowly making the chatter blossom. You wouldn't have liked to be there at that moment; mass social events made you anxious, even more so when you had no one to talk to.
In any case, both places were better than being out there in the snow. Your gaze occasionally strayed to the window to look at it. The flakes floated slowly in the air, falling unhurriedly on the roofs and branches of the trees. It was late November, and the snowfall had only just begun, so there was still a while until Massachusetts looked like the North Pole itself. For now, however, it was nice.
But it wasn't all Christmas fantasy and candy and happiness. Unfortunately, final exam season was approaching since the end of the semester was in mid-December, and that meant doubling the effort and stress in equal measure. You were taking it easy, since you had practically every subject under control except for Molecular Genetics, but of course you wouldn't get too confident. In fact, you were enjoying that moment of relaxation since you would have to spend the whole next day studying without a break.
You had to admit that everything would have been easier if you belonged to one of the common study groups that were formed for these situations, but being a new student, you sadly had to settle for what little you had. That is, yourself. At least for now. Because you wished with all your heart that the situation would change soon.
Who was going to say that it would. Maybe not in the way you expected.
"Nah but I swear to god bruh, JT is kinda dumb sometimes," said the bartender, Jordan, while cleaning a glass. He was one of the ones watching the game with you.
"I mean, at least he tries," you said. "But in this game he needs to stop taking the shots."
"Oh god bro, they put me in the game and I'm making more threes than him."
While you, Jordan and two other guys were commenting on the game, another person sat down in the empty chair to your right. You didn't pay attention, as just like you, the person also started watching the game until the end of that quarter.
"Damn sorry Ash, I didn't see you, hi," Jordan said to the person who had sat next to you. "What are you doing here today?"
You turned to see this Ash person, not knowing that you were going to be completely dazzled by what your eyes were going to see. She was an Asian girl, with beautiful dark brown hair, pretty full cheeks and small bright eyes. You searched through your memories to see if you had seen her before, but it was unlikely that you had seen a girl that pretty and not remember her face. But she was really fucking adorable, wearing a blue jacket that looked like it was going to eat her up because of how petite she was.
"Hi Jordan," the girl replied, her lips slightly curved into a smile. "I was at the birthday party down there but well, I got overstimulated and my social battery got drained."
You didn't want to seem like a weirdo, so before she noticed, you looked away from her and acted nonchalant as you watched the commercials.
"Oh I can understand why," Jordan said, leaning his fists on the bar. "Those motherfuckers are loud as fuck. Same as always?"
"Nah, pour me something mild this time, I have to study tomorrow and I don't want a headache," Ash replied.
Jordan let out a laugh and stepped away from the bar.
"Him too," he pointed his index finger at you before turning his back to you. "And he's on his fourth beer."
You were flabbergasted. He definitely hadn't done that shit. You were forced to look at the girl and him with an embarrassed chuckle, shrugging.
“Oh, you’re a Harvard student too?�� Ash asked, turning to look at you. “I’ve never seen you before.”
“I am,” you nodded. “And I haven’t seen you either. What faculty are you in?"
"Data Science, and you?"
"Biomedicine," you replied.
"Cool!" She raised her eyebrows, and turned her body towards you to give you her full attention. "So how's that going?"
You sighed and took a sip of your beer, which was almost empty.
"I'm a new student," you set the glass down on the bar. "So I'll know after this semester."
"Oh, new student huh?" she raised an eyebrow. "I guess that's been the hardest thing so far."
Jordan then came back to you and gave her a glass as well, from the color and bubbles you guessed it was vodka and lemon soda. You hoped it was more one thing than the other, because if not, there was absolutely nothing mild about that drink.
"Don't even remind me," you said with a sigh, as she drank from her glass. "It's been a shitty three months."
"Why?" she cocked her head. "I mean, I really don't mean to be nosy, but Harvard always does a good job of integrating new students with the others."
"Yeah, but that doesn't guarantee that people will like you," you then locked eyes with Jordan, who you motioned for another beer.
"But you don't seem like a bad guy, why wouldn't people like you?"
You shrugged, taking the freshly opened bottle of beer that Jordan had given you.
"I don't know, I think it's because I look at everyone like I want to kick their butts."
She giggled, and it was so adorable that you couldn't help but smile too.
"And you want to do that?" she asked.
"Sometimes," you brought the beer close to your mouth. "With some pampered jerks." You drank.
"Ah yeah, there are plenty of those here. I'm Ashley, by the way," she extended her hand towards you.
"I'm Mason," you accepted her hand and shook it with a small smile. "And you're one of the few people I've told my name to."
The last quarter of the game had already started, but it was impossible for you to pay attention to it, because you and Ashley were engaged in a conversation that flowed like the flow of a river downhill.
She told you interesting things about her life, like for example that she no longer lived on campus and had her own apartment not far from the bar. She also told you that she lived for a few years in South Korea with her mother, and that she had returned to the United States exclusively to study her degree. You didn't have too many things in common, contrary to what usually happens in romantic movies, but you could tell that chemistry arose between the two of you. She listened to you happily while you talked about your interests and hobbies, and you listened to her too. You laughed, and a lot, which seemed unreal to you since you had counted the times you had laughed with someone since you arrived at that place.
And damn, she was so, so pretty when she laughed that it made your inner self giggle and kick. Everything about her was adorable: her voice, the way she expressed herself, her smile, her hair, and even something as silly as the way she arched her eyebrows when you told her something slightly crazy.
Calling it love at first sight was downright stupid, because you were sure that to her you were just a friendly guy to have a nice chat with, but you were smitten. It was perhaps hasty to feel that way, but you couldn't just ignore that she, apart from being beautiful, was the first person your age that you had talked to for more than half an hour without feeling like you were bothering her.
And considering your situation, well, that was quite a lot.
"I swear to god!" you said, telling her about a time you had to chase your dog for almost two streets. "If it wasn't for..."
"Ashley?" a female voice said, coming from the stairs.
You and Ashley turned around. At the bottom of the stairs were two girls, both tipsy looking. One of them walked towards you.
"We thought you had gone home!" she said, standing next to you. "You coming? We're gonna continue the party at Riley's. place"
"Oh, sure," Ashley looked at you for a moment and then back at her. "Can you wait for me downstairs? I want to say goodbye to Mason."
"Who the fuck is Mason?"
You just held up your hand with an awkward smile.
"My pleasure," you said.
"Oh, my pleasure too," she nodded and then looked at Ashley. "Hurry up then, we're about to leave!"
"Yeah yeah go Vivian," Ashley dismissed her with a carefree wave of her hand.
Vivian turned around and walked with the other girl back down to the first floor. Ashley then looked at you.
"Sorry about that, I would have loved to hear more of that story," she said with a giggle.
"Don't worry," you shook your head and looked at your watch. "I'm actually running late too, I don't want to sleep that late."
"Oh, come on then?" she asked, standing up while pointing to the stairs. "We can give you a ride to campus if you want."
"Nah no need," you said with a chuckle. "I'll finish this beer and walk, but thanks."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah yeah," you nodded. "Worse distances I've walked."
"Alright!" she shoved her hands into her jacket pockets as she took steps backwards. "It was nice meeting you, Mason, really."
"Same here. Will you be back here next weekend?"
"Mmm maybe, maybe not," she shrugged. "I don't know, it all depends on my schedule."
"I understand," you nodded. "Well, I'm here every Saturday after 6."
"Good to know," she nodded with a smile. "See you later!"
She turned to walk back down the stairs, but you couldn't just let her leave like that. Who knew when you'd see her again?
"Hey, Ashley!" you called out to her, and she stopped with one foot on the first step.
"Huh?"
"Uhm... I don't mean to be intrusive, but can I have your number?"
Ashley chuckled, and you thought you'd made a fool of yourself and she'd leave, but instead she walked back up and walked towards you.
"I don't give my number to just anyone," she said, pulling her phone out of her pocket. "But we can follow each other on Instagram."
Well, a start was a start.
"Yeah I'm cool with that!"
Ashley showed you her Instagram, and you quickly went to yours to follow her. She then followed you back.
"There ya go!" she put her phone back away, and walked backwards towards the stairs. "Well, now I really have to go, my friends are going to kill me."
"Absolutely. Take care, okay?"
"You too!" Ashley said, then turned around and walked down the stairs.
"Uhm... I don't want to be intrusive, but can I have your number?" you heard Jordan scoff behind you, followed by a laugh. "Oh my god."
You sighed and turned back to the bar.
"Shut up bro," you said, and took a long drink of your beer.
After finishing that beer you finally asked for the bill and paid before leaving. The snowfall had gotten worse outside, so you spent the whole way back to campus with your head down and your hands in the pockets of your windbreaker, but most of all, thinking about her.
You couldn't help but feel like a complete idiot. She was a girl you had just met and she already had butterflies in your stomach. But how could she not? Every time you remembered her smiling it was like seeing a cute picture of Kirby, she even sounded like him when she laughed. She was unpleasantly cute.
When you got to your dorm the first thing you did was sit down and check her Instagram. She didn't have too many posts, but the few she had were 15 photos or more. Without realizing it, you spent about ten minutes absolutely mesmerized by her beauty, but because of that you missed a damn like on an old post that you quickly deleted.
You dropped the phone and brought your hands to your mouth, staring into absolute nothingness, thinking of the possible repercussions that would have, the worst being that you were going to look like a fucking stalker. God, you were a complete idiot.
You had no choice but to try to forget about it. Pretend it hadn't happened. Instead of thinking about it, you focused on attending to the needs of your stomach, which had been growling for a couple of hours, and after that, you took a shower and went straight to bed.
Despite being constantly aware of your surroundings, you didn't see Ashley during that entire exam week. It was kind of odd: your schedules would really have to be too different for you to never see her, even from a distance, and yet, at least once at some random hour you had to see her; Harvard wasn't that big.
She did upload the occasional story to her Instagram from time to time, many of them being things from her daily life and rather few of herself, whether in mirrors or selfies with her friends. There was one day when she even uploaded a story drinking a cocktail. Who knows where. Questionable, but certainly not your problem.
However, you didn't have time to be focused on what she did or didn't do. The week had been hard as hell, as had the exams you were prepared for but still felt like constantly walking a tightrope over an abyss. You were sure you had done well in each one, but there were several study sessions that had you with a severe headache that didn't go away until it was all over.
It was an exhausting week, and emotionally one to forget. But on Friday night something happened that you didn't expect, something that had you doing backflips and running up and down the walls of your bedroom. A like from Ashley on one of your old posts.
There were a couple of ways to interpret it. It could have just been a mistake, like yours had a few days ago. But that was ruled out when you realized that she hadn't unliked your post. The other way to interpret it was that she was making fun of you and wanted to let you know that she realized what you had done.
And of course, the last way to interpret it was that... Nah, that wasn't possible. Or was it? How the hell was the human version of Kirby going to be interested in you? That was impossible. You had only talked to her once, and you didn't remember being Prince Charming exactly. You had just been you, and that wasn't enough to make a girl like you after just an hour of conversation.
Or maybe it was? Thinking about it had you stressed out. You wanted to DM her, but doing so right now would make you look like a desperate weirdo. Maybe you lacked balls, but you wanted to do everything you could to not really scare this girl away, so you were going to take things slow and not make any risky moves.
Right now all you wanted was for Saturday to come. She had been clear with you, and you knew she could just not show up at the bar tomorrow. But you were still excited about the possibility that she would. You wished she would. And you had to think back to see if you had ever been this excited to see a girl in the past few years.
When the day came you went to the bar without any expectations in order not to be disappointed if something happened. When you got upstairs Jordan greeted you with his usual cheer, and you started your evening with the usual cold beer before the start of another Celtics game.
"Ayo bro what's wrong with you?" Jordan asked an hour later, frowning. "You're acting weird as fuck."
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"You've been looking back like you're going to shoot the fuck out of this bitch and moving your leg this whole time. Look, you're doing it right now!" he pointed down.
You looked where he was pointing, and sure enough, you were moving your leg without realizing it. You also noticed that every so often you looked over your shoulder.
"First of all, I'm not going to shoot anything," you said, forcing yourself to stop your leg. "And... fuck, it's because of her."
"Her?" he raised both eyebrows. "Her who?"
"Fuck you mean her who?" You frowned.
“Ohhh! Ash?” he said, and let out a giggle.
“Aha.”
Jordan laughed and handed a ready-made drink to one of the customers near you.
“Right right,” he nodded. “Can I have your number?” he mimicked you in a silly voice. “Look, talking about Helen of Troy.”
You were two milliseconds away from turning around like the girl from the Exorcist, but you had enough self-control to turn your head like a normal person.
Ashley had just walked up the stairs, and she looked just as pretty as the last time you saw her, with her hair down, a white college sweater, and a grey scarf that still had traces of snow on it.
And as soon as she saw you, her face lit up with a smile, causing the butterflies in your stomach to go crazy.
“Uhhh you got her in your pocket bro, look at that smile!” Jordan said from behind you, close to your ear so Ashley couldn't hear. "Aight so hear me out, I'll give you a hand, you'll see."
You frowned.
"Wait what?" You turned to look at him, but he had already played dumb and gone on to serve another customer.
Ashley came to your side at that moment, taking the free seat to your right, just like last time.
"Hi Mason! Hi Jordan!" she greeted you both, but focused her attention on you.
"Sup," you greeted back, turning to her. "I'm glad you came."
"Yeah well, I finished all my homework early and also studied enough to be free today."
"Oh really? Free to see someone, maybe?" you raised your eyebrows and took a sip of your beer.
"Mmm, I don't know," she shrugged, a hint of a smile on her lips. "I was really in the mood for a drink on a Saturday."
You chuckled and nodded.
"Aight, you want a beer then? It's on me, and I insist."
"Yeah I'm cool with that!" she nodded.
"On my way!" Jordan said.
"Thanks bro," you said, then looked at Ashley. "So? How was torture week for you?"
The smile on Ashley's face faded, and her eyes wandered to an empty glass on the bar.
"I mean..." she cocked her head and made an awkward face. "Well, I think? I don't have too many hopes for myself, but I don't feel like I did a bad job either," she looked at you. "What about you?"
"Exhausting," you sighed. "But I feel like I'll pass everything with flying colors. Do you feel like you didn't study hard enough or what?"
"Something like that. Let's just say I got a little too confident."
Jordan came over with your beers and placed them in front of each of you. You both smiled at him in thanks.
"Why do I feel like that cocktail drinking story has something to do with it?" you asked with a raised eyebrow.
Ashley was about to drink from her beer when she burst out laughing, having to set the glass down on the table so she wouldn't spill it. You looked at her with a smile, gobsmacked by her cuteness.
“Hey!” she snapped between laughs. “That was just an hour!”
“But it was enough to distract you,” you said before sipping on your beer.
“Nah, I’m good at dividing up my schedule.”
“6 hours of drinking and another two for studying?”
She laughed again, and this time she gave you a small, friendly punch on the shoulder.
“No, silly. You’re really into my stories huh?”
“I spend a lot of time on Instagram, so I end up checking them all the time and accidentally,” you shrugged.
“Accidentally, I see,” she nodded slowly. “Same as that like, right?”
Your hand froze around the glass of beer, where you looked with a smile of being on the ropes.
“Yup, same as that like,” you looked into her eyes. "And yours? Was that accidental too or what?"
She gently shook her head, holding your gaze.
"Nope, that was completely on purpose."
A smile escaped you. Things were flowing smooth as butter. It was up to you not to screw up.
"So you did come here today to see someone huh?"
"Maybe," she brought a hand to a lock of her hair to play with it. "And you seemed to be waiting for someone today."
"You," you said, not really thinking about it beforehand, just a shot in the air.
"Oh really?" she raised both eyebrows, now curling her lock of hair. "But you always come here, not this day at this time?"
"Yeah, but the difference is that now I've been waiting all week for Saturday to come."
Ashley giggled and looked away, now playing with her fingers in her lap.
"To see me?" she asked, and looked at you again.
"To see you," you nodded.
"What if I didn't come?"
"Eventually you would," you shrugged. "Pure statistics. But the odds increase if you wanted to see me too."
Ashley was quiet for a moment, just like you had been when she brought up the subject of you liking her post, a half smile on her face and her gaze on her glass. She then shrugged.
"You got me, I guess," she said.
"It wasn't that hard either. Hey, do you want to get something to eat?" you asked, changing the subject.
"Like what?" she said, and took a long drink of her beer.
"I don't know, they make some pretty tasty stuff downstairs. Maybe something sweet?"
"Mmm, nutella waffles?"
"Oh hell yeah, and they make some amazing cookie sandwiches too."
“That’s a yes then!”
“You wanna go sit over there?” you nodded behind her, towards one of the tables in the corner.
“Sure, let’s go,” Ashley replied with a smile as you both stood up from the bar.
As you passed, you glanced at Jordan, who was watching you with a mix of expectation and complicity. In response, he winked at you and discreetly dimmed the lights in the bar. The atmosphere changed instantly: the shadows lengthened, the warm lighting accentuated the textures of the brick walls and created an intimate space at the table you chose.
You owed that guy one.
The table in question was a cozy booth, with a brown leather corner sofa and high backs set against the brick wall. Ashley slid into the seat and sat right in the corner.
“I’ll go place the orders, wait here, will you?” you said, setting your glass of beer down next to hers.
Ashley just nodded with a cute smirk on her face, and then you hurried downstairs. You placed the order as quickly as you could, with a couple of milkshakes on top of the waffles and sandwiches, and then returned to her, sitting down to the side.
"I hope you like the lemon pie milkshakes, they're delicious," you said, arranging the plates and glasses on the table.
"I love lemon pie," she said, picking up one of the milkshakes to drink from the straw. "Did the stalking pay off or what?"
A laugh escaped you.
"Sweetheart, as much as I tried, I haven't been following you long enough to know that."
"Oh, you're calling me sweetheart now?" she raised an eyebrow.
"Uh... I'm sorry, does it bother you?"
Ashley then moved closer to you. It was really something very subtle, but you noticed it by the closeness of your thighs.
"It's cute, why would it bother me?" she said, holding your gaze.
You were closer than you'd ever been at that moment. It could happen, and you had a feeling she wanted it, but after looking at her lips a few times you decided not to push your luck too much.
"I don't know," you shrugged. "Some people find it uncomfortable, and I wouldn't want to make you feel that way."
She stayed quiet as she looked at you. You frowned in confusion.
"What?" you said.
"You're really cute, Mason," Ashley replied, in a lower tone. "I don't know if anyone's ever told you that."
The way you folded yourself into seven separate pieces was a bit hard to hide, but you were sure it had to have shown on your cheeks as they felt warm from the blush.
“I-I… ah…” you felt like an idiot getting stuck on your own words; your brain had short-circuited for a few seconds. “No. At least not here.”
Ashley placed a hand on your thigh, near your knee. A statue could be more alive than you at that moment.
“That’s a shame, because you really are.”
You once again tried to say something, but only a silly stutter came out of your mouth that ended in silence. It was your chance.
“Shall we eat?” she said, before you could lunge in and kiss her. She didn’t notice your intentions, so she didn’t have to have done it on purpose. Still, it was pretty inopportune.
“Ah… yeah,” you nodded, turning back to the plates and milkshakes. "Sure, sure."
There was silence between you as you began to eat, but not an awkward silence, rather a peaceful one, which made it clear that both you and she were comfortable with each other. Only after a couple of minutes passed did you resume the conversation, which this time was oriented towards anecdotes and interesting facts about your lives. Needless to say, you felt like you could talk to her about anything and she would be just as happy to listen to you, as you would to her.
But you needed to kiss her. You really, really needed to.
"Gosh those waffles are really crazy stuff," Ashley said with the milkshake in her hand, once you had finished eating.
"What about the cookie sandwiches?" you asked with a smile.
"I wasn't that big of a fan, but they were good too," she shrugged.
You chuckled.
"Fair enough, we can't all have excellent tastes."
Ashley laughed and nudged you slightly. You stared at her. Noticing this, she tilted her head and frowned.
"What?" she asked.
"You're so fucking cute, Ashley," you said, admiring every detail of her pretty face, dimly illuminated by the warm light of the bar's spherical lamps. "You really are."
That took her by surprise. She blinked several times, visibly stunned by such a sudden statement, but as she processed the information, her lips curved into a small smirk.
"You think so?" she asked in a low tone, and brought her hand back to your thigh, now closer to your crotch, awakening in you thoughts that were no longer so innocent.
"Yeah, I think so," you said, and put your right arm in front of her abdomen to grab her waist. You couldn't tell from the baggy clothes the weather forced you two to wear, but she had a small waist and a tummy that you found extremely sexy.
"So what are you waiting for?" She squeezed your thigh with her fingers.
"Waiting for what?" You pressed her closer, your faces now inches apart.
Ashley leaned in close to your ear.
"To take me downstairs to the bathroom and fuck me," she whispered, and pulled back to look you in the eyes again. "And kiss me, of course."
W-h-a-t?
You blinked a few times, confused by what you had just heard. Was she the same Ashley? Had you gotten distracted and she had switched with her evil twin? It wasn't like it bothered you, but it was such a drastic change that it seemed unreal.
"Wow," you said with a chuckle, and brought the hand on her waist up to her thigh to brush the side of your finger against her crotch. "In that order?"
Ashley moved her hand up and placed it on your bulge to give it a single, firm squeeze.
"As you prefer," she said, biting her lip as she looked down at yours.
And then you kissed her.
From the beginning, it was difficult for you to control yourself from making a scene in front of everyone's eyes, because her lips had a delicious pineapple flavor that drove you crazy and made you want to devour her like a maniac. For the moment, you had to settle for that slow, discreet kiss, like the one any couple shared at a bar.
Ashley was forced to remove her hand from your bulge, and you were forced to remove yours from near her crotch. Instead she left her hands still in her own lap and you just continued to squeeze her thigh with your hand. As the seconds passed your breathing became heavier, and by the way she shifted in her seat you knew that it was enough of kissing and it was time to move on to the fun part.
"To the bathroom downstairs then?" you asked against her lips.
"The one on the basement floor," she clarified. "There won't be anyone down there at this hour."
"Do you scream a lot or what?" you teased.
"Take me there and find out."
You smiled and took her hand before standing up. You both walked out of the stall and straight to the first floor, where Ashley stepped away from you.
"Let me go first," she said, steps away from the exit. "I wouldn't want us to be so brazen either."
"Aight go," you nodded.
Ashley walked out of the bar and headed down to the basement. You waited for about five minutes before heading in that same direction, leaving the bar to go left and down the stairs that led to the basement. Just like Ashley said, there were like four people down there counting the bartender, so it wouldn't be a problem.
Absolutely no one paid you any attention as you walked through the room. Good for you, because you were able to enter the ladies' room without any opposition. Inside it wasn't hard for you to guess where Ashley was: she was in the back stall, with her hand sticking out of the half-open door.
Rushing in there you found her waiting patiently for you, leaning against the wall with her other hand behind her back.
"You're late," Ashley joked with a mischievous smirk as you locked the bathroom door.
"I'll go if you want," you pointed with your thumb.
"Nuh-uh, come here," she said, and grabbed your face with both hands before crashing her lips against yours.
With no potential stares now, you two were free to let loose, your tongues now entering the equation just seconds into the kiss, which was becoming more and more wild and sloppy. Ashley lowered one hand to the side of your neck, and brought the other to your cock to squeeze and massage it over your pants. You, for your part, were met with a pair of firm, round buttocks as you lowered your hands and squeezed them. She let out a small moan against your lips, and brought her other hand down to unbutton your pants, unzipping them, and reaching into your boxers to cup your cock with her delicate fingers and slowly stroke it.
"You must be freezing from the weather," she murmured after moving a few inches away from your lips. "Maybe I can give you some warmth."
With that Ashley dropped to her knees in front of you and pulled your pants and boxers down to your ankles. With your cock released in front of her face, she placed wet kisses on the underside, moved down to your balls to lick them, and then back to your tip to catch it between her lips and suck on it.
"Fuck Ashley..." you gasped, bringing a hand to her silky brown hair to push it out of her face.
She gave your tip a couple of sucks and pulled you out to slowly jerk you off.
"Still cold?" Ashley asked. "Don't worry, I got you."
With that she placed her hands on your thighs and opened her mouth to take your cock inside her. Now her lips went further, slowly going millimeters past the middle of your shaft to come back up and start sucking you off. She made eye contact with you, which made your cheeks feel hot since until a few hours ago you only saw her as a giggly adorable princess, and now that cute princess was giving you a sloppy, sensual blowjob.
"Fuck that's perfect Ash," you moaned, watching as she pumped her head at a steady pace, slurping up the saliva she left behind and also using her tongue to lick the underside of your shaft.
"Warm enough?" Ashley asked after pulling you out, now kissing the sides of your cock while rubbing her fingers along the first few inches of it. "I still have a little magic trick."
She put her hands on your thighs and took your cock back into her mouth. This time, after a few sucks halfway down your shaft, her mouth went further and further until it reached your base, where her nose rested for a few long, fascinating seconds as your tip brushed the walls of her throat.
And yes, it was fucking warm. Overwhelmingly so, you dare say.
“Shit…” you moaned, letting your head fall back and bringing your hand to the back of Ashley’s neck.
A couple seconds later she released your cock with a couple of coughs and heavy gasps, and continued to jerk you off while wiping her spit-stained chin.
“Better?” she asked.
“Ashley… what the fuck was that,” you managed to say, now looking into her eyes. “The last thing I would think when I saw your face is that you give amazing blowjobs.”
“And I have a pretty tight pussy too, just so you know.”
You were officially going crazy.
“May I taste it?” you asked.
Ashley smiled and stood up, turned around and bent over with her hands braced against the wall of the stall. She then looked over her shoulder at you and looked down at your cock rubbing against her ass. You immediately got on your knees behind her, grabbed the hem of her sweatpants and pulled them down.
“Oh fuck,” was the only thing you could think to say. Her ass was a complete beauty: it was small, but the shape of her buttocks and how soft her skin looked made it look like a whole snack.
“You like it?” she asked, slowly swinging it from side to side.
"I have a way to answer that," you said, and placed both hands on either side of her hip before you began kissing every spot on her pretty ass, not stopping until both pale cheeks were covered in your saliva and your teeth marked on the fleshiest areas.
With your entrance already covered you wanted to move on to the main course as quickly as possible, so you grabbed her light blue panties—already with a wet spot in the middle—and pulled them down to her ankles along with her sweatpants, rolled around her feet. Her pussy was as pretty as her face, shaved, smooth, pink and shiny from how wet it was. You plunged your mouth in there without a second's thought.
"Mmmgh," Ashley moaned, pushing her hips back to bury your face between her ass cheeks, which you parted so you could easily taste her delicious, silky folds with your tongue.
The bathroom stall was soon filled with cute, low moans. You ate her pussy slowly at first, not wanting to look like a desperate fucking lunatic. But it was clear that wasn't going to last too long, not when her wet flesh was this delicious and her hips moved in such an adorable way as the pleasure built in her.
"Oh fuck I knew you'd be good with that fucking tongue," she gasped, her legs suffering from spontaneous tremors.
"You do?" you asked with an incredulous giggle, and squeezed her ass cheeks. "Apparently I was the only one with innocent intentions then."
"Don't get me wrong, me too," she looked over her shoulder at you, biting her lip. "But I also wanted you to eat my pussy really bad."
"Slutty behavior if you ask me," you said, and sank your mouth back into her pussy before she could protest.
Ashley moaned louder and pushed her hips back. Hard, to smother you with her ass. You contently let her do it at this point, more focused on licking between her folds and giving you a treat than your own breathing. This paid off a few seconds later, when the muscles in her thighs contracted and she burst into moans, grinding her ass into your face.
“Oh fuck!” she squealed under her breath, holding back from screaming louder. “Hurry up and fuck me for god’s sake!”
You stood up and bent over your pants bunched around your ankles to pull your wallet out of your pocket. Only to realize what a fucking problem there was: you hadn’t brought a fucking condom.
Were you fucking stupid or what?
“Shit,” you cursed under your breath, eyeing the wallet.
Ashley turned to look at you with a scowl.
“What’s wrong?”
“I didn’t bring… well, you know.”
“A condom?” She raised an eyebrow. "Mason fuck the fucking condom fuck me already!"
Well, if things were that way you weren't going to refuse; you were too horny to think of the most responsible decision at the moment.
"Yeah you're damn right."
You dropped your wallet to the floor and focused entirely on her. Your left hand went to her waist, and with your right you grabbed your cock to bring it between her ass cheeks and rubbed the tip between her folds just a couple of times before pressing forward. You and Ashley moaned as you took the first few inches inside her.
"Oh fuck slow slow slow," she said, and you slowly took every inch of your cock inside her. "Oh yes that feels so fucking good!"
"You weren't lying about having a tight pussy, fuck," you panted already balls deep inside her, her pussy walls squeezing your cock.
"You like it huh?" she asked, looking into your eyes. "Then you better fuck it properly."
"Bet," you said, and began to rock your hips back and forth, patiently increasing the pace so as not to hurt her. Before long the thrusts became consistent, your cock going completely in and out of that smothering pussy and your smacks against her ass reverberating through the empty bathroom.
Ashley bent lower on her back, leaning with her forearms against the wall of the stall as you fucked her faster, clinging to her small waist and making her buttocks jiggle. The bubble of pleasure you were both locked in made you quickly forget you were in a public place, so it got to a point where you were making a downright shameless fuss.
Until you heard voices approaching.
Ashley's eyes widened and she looked at you. You stopped, and your first instinct was to push her away from the wall, wrap an arm around her body and sit on the closed toilet lid (which thankfully didn't break). She was smart enough to understand what you wanted to do, so she grabbed her sweatpants and panties, pulled them off her ankles and pulled her feet up onto your knees at the exact moment two girls walked in talking.
"Yeah I don't know why he acts like that," one of the girls said, and you heard a sink turn on. "But then her fucking bitch of a best friend comes and says I'm the toxic one!"
You covered Ashley's mouth, and with her hands resting on each wall of the stall, she slowly went up and down on your cock, while you, with your free hand, rubbed her clit at the same discreet rhythm.
"Bitch cut it with that son of a bitch already!" said the other. "You've put up with too much shit from him lately."
"Fuck, should I?"
"Fuck you mean should I?! He spent a night with that hoe!"
If you didn't have Ashley moving up and down on your cock in that delicious way you would have laughed. But you did have to reinforce your fingers in her mouth, because she let out a moan that was luckily drowned out by the sound of the sink running.
"But he has a big dick!" The girl protested.
The other girl growled in frustration, and this time you did manage to let out a smile that almost turned into a chuckle.
"I can't stand you bitch, I swear to god."
The faucet turned off, and now you and Ashley were helpless if they stayed any longer and paid attention to where you were.
"I still want him to break up with me, not me him. I don't want any trouble with that damn bitch," the other girl said, and now her voice was fortunately heard further away.
"Are you chickening out or what?" the other girl replied, already out of the bathroom.
The conversation was no longer understandable to you, indicating that they finally left the bathroom. You took your hand off Ashley's mouth, and she was free to let out a relieved sigh followed by a moan.
"Fucking annoying bitches," she hissed, then slid her feet off your knees to replace them with her hands and bounced on your cock harder. "God that cock feels so good I wanna cry."
You brought your hands to her waist and reveled in the sight of your cock fully entering and exiting her pretty little body. Ashley bounced hard and fast, filling the bathroom with clapping sounds and inconspicuous moans. Her ass cheeks looked so pretty doing it that you couldn't help but squeeze both together and leave a spank on one, and she responded with a cute squeal.
"Turn around, I wanna kiss you," you panted with your hand on her lower back.
Ashley complied, and immediately rose off your cock to turn around and straddle you, her legs hanging over the sides of the toilet. You wrapped an arm around her waist, crashed your lips against hers and made her impale herself on your cock again.
With a moan against your lips she began to move on your cock as fast as she could, because the position wasn't exactly the most comfortable for her. For you, however, it was more attainable since you could simply plant your feet firmly on the floor and fuck her up and down. Ashley, relieved by this, wrapped her arms around your head and held onto your hair as you fucked her.
"Oh god I'm gonna cum so hard," she gasped into the kiss. "Fuck keep going!"
You brought your hands up to her ass to squeeze and grope it again before cranking up the engine. Ashley let her head fall back and held onto your neck with both hands, quickly being dragged into an orgasm that had her writhing and grinding her hips on top of you.
As she was riding out her climax you took the moment to kiss her pretty pale neck and under her chin, arms wrapped around her petite, quivering body to keep it pressed to yours at all times. Then, when you felt like you could continue, you used the strength in your legs to stand up with her carried. Ashley had a little scare, but still managed to hold on with her legs to your torso until you pressed her against the left wall of the stall, spread her legs wide, and with your hands behind her knees continued to hammer her pussy.
"You know I'd love to?" you asked, peppering the side of her neck with kisses.
"W-what?" she managed to reply despite her ragged breathing.
"Seeing your pretty princess face painted white," you said, and moved up to her jawline.
"Let me finish you off then, handsome," she panted with her hands on your back. "I could use a hot load for my skin."
You immediately pulled out of her pussy, lowered her, and she got on her knees in front of you, her head resting against the wall behind her. She caught your tip with her lips, sucked on it, and gripped her fingers to your shaft to stroke it at full speed. The eye contact was more intense than you expected, as Ashley's eyes went from being two pretty, shiny orbs to the eyes of a feline predator eager for its prey. If that wasn't enough, the girl was naughty enough to also grab your balls and give them such a good massage that you exploded without even warning.
Feeling a drop of your load inside her mouth, Ashley quickly pulled you out of it to masturbate you fiercely and receive every jet of cum on her pretty face. Every corner was covered in thick white liquid, in a perfect work of art that was deeply contrasted by the place you were in.
She moved her wrist slower as you stopped shooting jets, and finally took you back into her mouth to suck and clean every possible inch of your shaft.
"Fuck... so beautiful," you managed to say between gasps, admiring her face covered in cum all over.
"And if you behave from now on you can have this as many times as you want, baby," she said, and blew you a little kiss. "Pass me some toilet paper please."
You did so, and first helped her stand up before helping her wipe her face. Then you got dressed, and spent at least another five minutes just making out. It was she who pulled away from you with a small smile on her face.
"Do you want to spend the night with me?" she asked.
"Yes!" you replied embarrassingly quickly and nodded. "I'd love to."
Ashley giggled and opened the stall door.
"I'll go first, but first, your phone," she held out her hand.
"Huh, for what?"
"Just give it to me."
You pulled your phone out of your pocket and handed it to her already unlocked. She then typed for less than a minute and handed it back to you.
"Here, you earned it," she told you, winked at you and walked out of the stall and out of the bathroom.
You looked down, and what you saw was her contact with her damn number.
━•✦•━•✦•━━•✦•━•✦•━
Spren Notes: Consider this just a starter to welcome the best time of the year, hehehe. Btw, with Gowon there are already 2 of the 12 LOONA girls. Hope to be able to write all of them sooner or later. As always. Thanks for reading! MASTERLIST HERE!
#gowon smut#loossemble smut#loona smut#kpop smut#smut fanfic#male reader smut#x male reader insert#smut
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ilysm (i love you spider-man)
genre/tags 𝟅𝟈 mark lee x fem!reader, spidermark, friends to lovers, high school au, spiderman!mark
word count 𝟅𝟈 11.2k
NOT PROOFREAD
🕸️🕷✮⋆˙
High school wasn’t glamorous. It was 6:00 a.m. alarms, piles of homework, and gym class—a.k.a. your least favorite subject. So, when Coach called for volleyball that day, you sighed and shuffled towards the court like a prisoner headed for trial.
The gym smelled faintly of sweat and old rubber soles, the harsh lights making it hard to focus. You stood by the bleachers, tying your sneakers when Mark stumbled in, late as usual. His hair stuck up in odd places like he’d rolled out of bed and made a mad dash here. Classic.
“Lee!” Coach barked, tossing him a red jersey. “You’re on Team B. Let’s go!”
Mark jogged over, muttering apologies as he passed you. “Hey,” he said with a sheepish grin, his voice slightly breathless.
“Hey,” you replied, amused. “Rough morning?”
“You have no idea,” he mumbled, pulling the jersey over his head.
Mark was… Mark. Sweet, funny, always a little awkward. You’d known him since middle school, and while he wasn’t exactly the athletic type, you’d never really cared. You’d bonded over you bonded over your mutual interests, anyways, and volleyball was not on the list.
The game started, and you hung back like always, hoping to avoid the ball as much as possible. Mark, however, was front and center.
When the ball came his way, you winced, expecting it to bounce off his face or fly past him entirely. But instead, Mark jumped—higher than seemed possible—and spiked the ball with enough force to make it slam into the court.
Your jaw dropped.
“Whoa!” someone yelled.
Even Coach looked impressed. “Nice hit, Lee! Where’d you learn that?”
Mark shrugged, his face slightly flushed. “Lucky shot.”
As the game went on, Mark’s “luck” didn’t run out. He dove to the floor to save a ball, slid across the court with the grace of a pro, and even managed to block a spike that seemed way out of reach.
By the time the game ended, the entire class was buzzing.
“Did Mark join a secret volleyball league or something?”
You couldn’t help but grin, though your curiosity was starting to bubble over. Since when could he do any of this?
During a break, you found him leaning against the wall, gulping down water like he’d just run a marathon.
“Since when did you play volleyball like that?” you asked, crossing your arms and raising an eyebrow.
He nearly choked, coughing and spluttering as his face turned red. “I—uh, I’ve been practicing?”
“Practicing?” you echoed, unimpressed. “Mark, the last time we played volleyball, you tripped over the net and nearly took me down with you.”
He let out a nervous laugh, scratching the back of his neck. “Yeah, well… things change?”
You squinted at him, unconvinced. There was something different about him lately—something you couldn’t quite put your finger on.
Before you could press him further, Coach’s whistle blew, calling everyone back to the court. Mark shot you a quick smile before jogging off, leaving you standing there, your curiosity growing by the second.
🕸️🕷✮⋆˙
As the day went on, you started noticing more little things about him. In English class, he caught a pen mid-air without even looking, like he had eyes in the back of his head.
“Nice reflexes, Spidey,” you joked, nudging him.
Mark laughed nervously, shoving the pen into his bag. “Just got lucky,” he said quickly, avoiding your gaze.
Then, in chemistry, he managed to grab a beaker you almost knocked off the table before it shattered on the floor. His hand shot out so fast you barely saw it.
“Whoa,” you said, staring at him. “How’d you do that?”
Mark shrugged, his cheeks turning red. “I dunno, instincts?”
You narrowed your eyes at him, but before you could say anything, the teacher called for everyone’s attention.
By lunchtime, you were keeping a closer eye on him, trying to figure out what was going on. He seemed more jittery than usual, like he was trying to avoid drawing attention to himself but failing miserably.
When someone dropped their tray in the cafeteria, sending food flying, Mark’s head snapped toward the commotion before anyone else had even noticed. He looked like he was about to jump out of his seat before he caught himself and forced a laugh.
“You good?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah, totally,” he said, shoving a fry into his mouth. “Just… startled, that’s all.”
You didn’t believe him for a second, but you let it slide. For now.
The rest of the day passed in a blur of classes, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was different about Mark. He’d clearly changed somehow, but you couldn’t put your finger on what exactly was different.
And as much as you wanted to ignore it, you couldn’t help but wonder: what was he hiding?
🕸️🕷✮⋆˙
Your parents had been asleep for hours by the time Mark came over that night. It was one of those quiet, lazy Friday nights where the two of you didn’t need to talk much. Just snacks, a couple of blankets, and a well-worn stack of DVDs.
You weren’t supposed to have people over this late—especially not boys—but it was Mark. If your parents knew it was him, they’d probably be fine with it. Still, sneaking him in through your fire escape gave the night a little thrill.
The two of you were huddled on your bed, knees bumping each other as the movie played on the TV. It was some action flick Mark had picked out, but your attention was divided between the screen and him. He looked more relaxed now than he had at school, though every now and then, you caught him glancing toward the door, like he was expecting someone to barge in.
“You good?” you asked softly, nudging him with your elbow.
“Huh? Yeah, totally,” he said, flashing you a sheepish grin. “Just… didn’t expect him to survive that fall.”
You laughed quietly, shaking your head. “It’s a superhero movie, Mark. No one ever dies unless it’s to make the hero angsty.”
He chuckled at that, leaning back into the couch. “Fair point.”
As the movie went on, the two of you started whispering back and forth, your voices barely louder than the hum of the TV.
“Okay, that was so fake,” you said, gesturing at the screen as the hero miraculously dodged a bullet.
Mark smirked. “You’re telling me this is where you draw the line?”
“I have standards!”
He shook his head, stifling a laugh, when suddenly his posture stiffened. His head tilted slightly, and his hand reached out, brushing your arm.
“Hey,” he whispered, his tone urgent. “Be quiet for a second.”
You blinked at him, confused. “What?”
“Shh,” he insisted, sitting up straighter. His eyes darted toward the hallway, and he moved to hide on the ground next to the bed, out of view of your doorway.
“What’s your problem?” you asked, a little too loudly.
Before he could answer, the door creaked open, and your mom peeked in, her expression equal parts annoyed and groggy.
“Y/N,” she said, crossing her arms. “It’s almost midnight. Keep it down, okay?”
Your eyes went wide. “Oh! Sorry, Mom. I’ll quiet down.”
She lingered for a moment, her gaze sweeping the room. You held your breath, praying she wouldn’t notice the second pair of sneakers tucked gently away next to your your bedside table. Thankfully, she just nodded and shuffled back down the hallway.
The second the coast was clear, you turned to Mark, your heart still racing.
“How the hell did you know she was coming?” you hissed, keeping your voice low this time.
Mark scratched the back of his neck, avoiding your eyes. “I, uh… I just… I don’t know, I guess I heard her footsteps?”
“Footsteps?” you repeated, narrowing your eyes at him. “Mark, I didn’t hear anything. How did you hear her through a closed door? And while we were talking, no less?”
He let out a nervous laugh, shrugging a little too casually. “Maybe I’ve just got good ears?”
“Good ears my ass,” you muttered, crossing your arms. “You’ve been weird all day. First in gym, then in class, and now this. What’s going on with you?”
Mark froze for a second, his expression flickering between panic and guilt. “Nothing! I swear, it’s—nothing. You’re imagining things.”
You raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. “Yeah, okay” you said sarcastically, not realizing how close you were to the truth.
Mark’s laugh came out a little too forced this time. “Anyways, we should probably finish the movie, it’s getting late.”
You didn’t push the issue—for now. But as the movie played on, you couldn’t help but glance at him, your curiosity growing stronger with every passing minute.
🕸️🕷✮⋆˙
After your slightly strange movie night, everything feels... normal. You’re at school with Mark again, cracking jokes about your teachers and helping each other survive the monotony of class.
After school, you walk home together as usual. Mark’s quiet, more so than usual, and you figure he’s just tired. He always seems tired these days.
"Are you okay?" you ask, nudging his arm.
He flinches slightly, then forces a smile. "Yeah, I’m good. Just didn’t sleep well last night."
You nod, though his answer doesn’t quite satisfy you.
Later that evening, you decide to take a quick walk to clear your head. The streets are quiet, the orange glow of the streetlights casting long shadows. You’re only a few blocks from your apartment when you hear shouting—a man yelling for help. Your heart pounds as you turn the corner and see a masked figure—Spider-Man—swinging into action.
It’s like watching a movie come to life. He moves with incredible speed and grace, disarming the attacker in seconds. The victim stumbles to safety, and Spider-Man barely pauses before disappearing into the night.
You stand frozen, your mind racing. Spider-Man isn’t supposed to be real—not in your world, not in your life. And yet, here he is, saving people in your neighborhood.
When you finally make it home, Mark texts you almost immediately:
Hey, you okay?
The timing feels weirdly coincidental.
Yeah... just saw something crazy on my walk. Spider-Man.
There’s a pause before he replies.
Mark: Whoa, no way. He’s around here?
You: Guess so. It was... surreal.
Mark: Sounds scary. You’re sure you’re okay?
Something about the way he asks makes you hesitate. He sounds so concerned, almost like he’s talking to himself.
You: Yeah. Are YOU okay?
Mark: Me? Of course. Just checking on you. I saw your location said you were outside.
You chastise yourself for not remembering he had your location. You’d have probably done the same thing if his location said he was outside in the middle of the night. Though, you’d never had the habit of checking his.
🕸️🕷✮⋆˙
Saturday nights are sacred.
Since middle school, you and Mark have had this unspoken rule: no matter what, Saturday nights are yours. Whether it’s binging your favorite show, building Legos, or debating which movie series is superior, it’s the highlight of your week.
You’ve been looking forward to tonight all day. After tossing a blanket over the couch and setting out snacks—chips for you, candy for him—you settle in, phone in hand, waiting for Mark’s familiar knock.
He’s usually punctual, arriving right when he says he will. But tonight, the minutes stretch into an hour, and he’s still not there.
You glance at your phone. No texts, no missed calls.
You: Where are you? I’m starting to think you forgot about me.
No response.
You frown but try not to overthink it. Maybe he got caught up with something. You wait another fifteen minutes, then send another text.
You: Mark?? You better not be ditching me for one of your dumb guy friends.
Still nothing. Anxiety begins to creep in, though you try to push it aside. He’s probably just running late.
An hour later, you’ve run out of chips and excuses for his absence.
You: I’m officially mad at you.
By the time midnight rolls around, you’ve all but given up. You leave one last text before tossing your phone onto the coffee table.
You: Hope you’re okay. Call me when you see this.
Sleep doesn’t come easily that night. Your mind races with possibilities—some silly, some serious. Is he okay? Did something happen? You brush them off as anxious thoughts running wild and try to fall asleep.
🕸️🕷✮⋆˙
The next morning, your phone buzzes with a message from Mark.
Mark: I’m so sorry, Y/N. I got sick out of nowhere last night. Took some medicine and completely passed out. I didn’t even see your texts until now.
You exhale, relieved but annoyed.
You: SICK? You ditched me because you were sick? I’m so offended.
Mark: I’m sorryyyyy. 😭 I’ll make it up to you, I swear.
You: You better be glad I didn’t watch our show without you.
Mark: You wouldn’t dare.
You: Guess you’ll never know.
His usual playfulness makes you smile, but the knot in your chest hasn’t completely loosened. You know it’s dumb, but a small part of you wonders if there’s more to the story. Mark never misses your hangouts. You’re always the first to know if something’s wrong. And as much as you want to believe his excuse, the insecurity that’s been gnawing at you for years whispers otherwise.
He’s your only real friend, and deep down, you’re terrified of losing him. You’re terrified that one day he’ll outgrow you, that he’ll find someone cooler, funnier, or just... better.
You shake your head, trying to push the thoughts away. Mark said he was sick, and you believe him. There’s no reason to think otherwise. But as you put your phone down and get ready for the day, you can’t help but feel like something isn’t adding up.
You stare at your phone, willing it to buzz with a new message from Mark, but it stays silent. You’ve already texted him a few times this afternoon, and while he usually responds by now, today it’s been almost two hours since your last message. Your thumb hovers over your screen, ready to send something, but you stop yourself. Maybe he’s busy. It’s fine. It’s not like you need him to text you back right away, right?
But you can’t shake the growing discomfort in your chest.
🕸️🕷✮⋆˙
Ever since his message about getting sick a few weeks ago, he’s been a little off. Sure, he’d apologized for missing your hangout, but now, it’s like nothing has changed. During the day, he’s the same—always goofy, friendly, and acting normal when you see him at school. But by the time night falls, he’s almost always gone—his responses slow, often one-word answers, and sometimes, he doesn’t respond at all. And this has gone on for almost a month now.
The more time passes, the more you can’t help but feel like he’s distancing himself from you, like you’ve somehow become a burden on him. You try to tell yourself you’re overthinking it. He’s probably just busy, right? But deep down, there’s a voice whispering that maybe he’s just getting tired of you. You wish you could ignore it, but the insecurity festers, eating away at your confidence with every minute he doesn’t reply.
By the time midnight rolls around, you’ve already sent him two more texts, no response. You try to sleep, but your mind is spinning. Is he with someone else? You hate that thought, but it keeps creeping in. Maybe he’s found new people to hang out with. Maybe he doesn’t want to talk to you anymore.
You throw your phone aside, frustrated with yourself, with him, and with the situation. Why do I care so much? You’ve never been the type to need constant validation from someone else, but with Mark? It’s different. You’ve always been there for each other, always shared your time. You didn’t need anything more from him, but now… it feels like you’re losing him.
Then, you get a message.
It's from Mark. Your heart jumps into your throat as you open it. “Hey, sorry. I got totally wrapped up in homework, we still on for tomorrow?”
You read it over and over, but something feels off. It’s a good excuse—too good, maybe. You want to believe him, but part of you wonders if he’s just avoiding you now. He was so there for you, always texting and hanging out after school. But now? It feels like he’s just gone, like a ghost. You don’t know what to believe.
“Can’t, sorry. I have plans with Giselle.”
There’s a pause before his reply comes through. You can almost hear the indifference in his words, even though you know you’re probably reading into it too much.
“Ah, alright. Have fun.”
The message feels too short, too casual. You frown at your phone, biting your lip. The nagging feeling in your chest grows stronger. Has he really just become that indifferent?
You text him back quickly, trying to keep things light, trying to ignore the hurt that lingers in your words. “Yeah sorry, we’ll definitely hang out later this week though, haha.”
But even as you send the message, a part of you wonders if this week is going to be just like the last—another week of him acting normal at school, you trying to text him all night, waiting for responses that don’t come, waiting for a friendship that doesn’t feel the same anymore.
You let out a sigh, toss your phone aside, and climb into bed, your angsty playlist drifting through your ears as you struggle to sleep.
🕸️🕷✮⋆˙
The bass from the music thumps through your chest as you step into the crowded living room. The lights are dim, the room filled with a haze of colored neon and swirling bodies moving to the rhythm. It’s your first real party in a long time, and the unfamiliar atmosphere is slightly overwhelming. You spot Giselle across the room, her blonde hair shining under the strobe lights as she waves you over.
You smile, grateful for her invitation. The group of people she’s hanging with seems friendly enough, laughing and chatting as they pass drinks around. Giselle introduces you to a few of her friends, and you slip into the crowd easily enough, trying to shake off the tension that’s been building in you ever since Mark stopped replying to your texts.
You’ve been pushing it down all night, focusing on the fun of the party, but it’s hard to ignore the nagging feeling in the back of your mind. Is he really busy with homework? Or is he avoiding me? You try not to dwell on it. After all, he’s always been a little unpredictable—he’s probably just caught up with his own stuff.
As the night wears on, you find yourself getting along with Giselle’s friends. You chat with a girl named Ningning who shares a class with you, and you laugh at her sarcastic humor. It’s nice. It feels good to be out and talking with people who aren’t just classmates or distant acquaintances. But still, in the back of your mind, you’re aware of the emptiness Mark’s absence has left. Every few minutes, you glance at your phone, hoping to see a message from him, but there’s nothing.
You tell yourself it’s fine—he’s just busy. But every time you check, you feel a little more disappointed.
The music pulses louder, and you take a deep breath, shaking off the thoughts of your best friend. Giselle is pulling you toward the makeshift dance floor, laughing as she drags you into the crowd. You let yourself get swept up in the fun for a while, your body moving to the beat, the drinks in your system giving you a comfortable, carefree buzz.
You laugh, enjoy yourself, and even manage to pull out a few impressive dance moves—at least according to Giselle, who’s cheering you on. The night seems to go by in a blur of music and people, the few drinks you’d had adding to the fuzziness of the night’s events.
But as the night winds down, you find yourself standing near the door, chatting with Ningning again. You glance down at your phone for what feels like the hundredth time, a little embarrassed that you’re still hoping for a text from him.
You frown when you see the time: it’s late, and you still haven’t heard from him. You were starting to wonder if you should text him, maybe check in, when Giselle appears beside you. “Hey, you okay?” she asks, her eyes narrowing with a knowing look. You smile, but it doesn’t quite reach your eyes.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just... thinking about stuff,” you say vaguely, slipping your phone back into your pocket.
She nods. “You know, it’s okay to have fun without him. Sometimes you gotta do your own thing, right?”
You nod along, but her words hit deeper than she probably intended. Why does it feel like I can’t? you think, but you don’t say it out loud. Instead, you force another smile. “Yeah, you’re right.”
Giselle offers to drive you home, but you shake your head. “I think I’ll walk. Get some fresh air. Plus, I’ve got pepper spray, just in case,” you joke, trying to ease the mood.
She laughs, but her eyes linger on you for a moment. “Alright, take care of yourself, okay?”
You wave her off as she heads toward the car with her friends. You linger by the door for a moment, a small hesitation gnawing at you, but then you push it aside. Walking will help clear your head.
As you step out into the cool night air, the city streets are alive with the usual hum of late-night activity. There’s a slight chill to the breeze, but you don’t mind it. You wrap your jacket tighter around your shoulders, feeling the effects of the alcohol beginning to wear off as the cold air helps sober you up. The walk is quiet, and for the first time tonight, you feel like you can breathe a little easier.
But even though the night is peaceful, your mind still drifts back to Mark. His silence feels like an anchor in your chest, something heavy and uncertain, and as you walk, you can’t stop wondering what’s going on. You’ve spent every Saturday night together for as long as you can remember. And now... now he’s just disappearing.
You try to shake off the feeling, telling yourself it's nothing. Maybe you’re just overthinking. Again. But the more you walk, the more your thoughts spiral, until you hear the footsteps behind you.
Before you can even react, a hand grabs your wrist, spinning you around so quickly that your heart jumps into your throat. Your breath catches in your chest, and for a split second, you can’t even process what’s happening. The streetlights cast long shadows on the sidewalk, and for a brief, terrifying moment, you can’t make out the guy’s face. All you feel is the cold, tight grip on your wrist.
Your heart starts pounding in your chest, panic surging through you. You try to pull away, but his hand tightens, and a sickening, familiar feeling spreads through you.
"Hey! Let go of me!" you shout, your voice shaking.
“Quiet, bitch,” the man growls, his breath hot against your neck. You struggle, but his grip tightens, and your pulse quickens.
Just as the fear begins to settle over you, you hear a soft whoosh, followed by a thud that’s too heavy to be anything but a person.
Without warning, the man’s grip on you loosens, and before you can even react, you're yanked off the ground and pulled up a nearby fire escape ladder, higher and higher until you’re standing on a rooftop. Your heart pounds in your chest as you try to steady your breath. You glance around, completely disoriented, when the voice of the masker figure breaks the silence.
You let out a breath, in awe of the Spiderman being right in front of you.
But before you can say anything, he speaks.
“Stay here,” he orders, his tone sharp as he drops you onto a crate by the edge of the roof. “I’ll handle it. Don’t move.”
You don’t even have time to ask him what’s going on before he’s gone, leaving you sitting there alone in the dark, your mind spinning. What the hell just happened? Is this... real? You glance around, still trying to process the fact that Spiderman—the very same guy you’d heard about in the news, the one everyone in the city seems to talk about—just saved you from some creep.
Your thoughts are interrupted when you hear the sound of struggle below, muffled voices, and a distant thud as Spiderman confronts the man you were just seconds away from being attacked by. It’s all over within moments, and before you can fully grasp the situation, Spiderman returns, landing effortlessly on the roof beside you.
He glances at you, his mask giving nothing away, but you notice the way his chest rises and falls a little too fast for someone who should be used to fighting.
“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice softer now. You nod quickly, trying to push the terror away.
“Yeah,” you reply, swallowing hard. “Thanks for saving me.”
A long silence stretches between you before you, almost hesitantly, ask, “Did... did you... kill him?”
The question comes out before you can think better of it, but the moment you say it, his head whips toward you in complete shock.
“What?!” he exclaims, his voice full of disbelief. “No! I—no, I didn’t kill him! I just... I knocked him out. I’m not... I don’t... that’s not what I do.”
You blink, surprised at how horrified he sounds. Maybe you’ve underestimated him.
“Oh,” you murmur, feeling sheepish. “Sorry, I... I don’t know how these things work.”
Spiderman’s shoulders visibly relax, and he rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. “It’s fine. Just... just stay safe, okay? I’ll get you home.”
You nod, your heart still beating erratically in your chest. Part of you is still processing everything, but another part of you is grateful. Grateful for Spiderman being here tonight, for protecting you when no one else would have been able to.
“Um, thank you again,” you say, your voice softer this time.
His eyes behind the mask seem to soften, but you’re not sure. “I can take you home,” he offers, voice low, almost too gentle, slightly familiar but you’re unable to place exactly where you’d heard it before.
You blink up at him, still in shock, and then remember where you are. “I’m almost home… I can walk the rest of the way.”
But the more you think about it, the more you realize you really don’t want to walk. Not after what just happened. Plus, his presence feels safe in a way you can’t explain.
Spiderman seems to notice the hesitation in your expression, and before you can change your mind, he’s already swooping down, his webbing attaching to a nearby building. “Hold on tight.”
Your breath catches in your throat as you barely process his words. Before you can question how he knows where you live, he shoots another web, pulling you along with him. Your feet leave the ground, and you’re soaring through the city. The wind rushes against your face, and everything is a blur of lights and rooftops.
The whole trip is a disorienting whirl, but it’s somehow comforting in its chaos. Spiderman moves like he’s done this a thousand times, his grip tight around your waist as he swings from one building to the next. The world below you is a distant hum, but your thoughts are still clouded with questions.
And then, as quickly as it began, you find yourself standing on the fire escape of your apartment building. Your legs are a little shaky, but it doesn’t matter. You’re safe.
“Here we are,” he says, glancing up at your window.
You stare at him, still slightly tipsy from the night’s events, but not questioning how he knows where you live. After all, it’s just one of those things that doesn’t make sense, and you don’t really care. All that matters is that you’re safe now.
“Thanks,” you say quietly, feeling oddly vulnerable under his watchful gaze.
He nods again, his hand slipping back to his side as he stands a little straighter. “Take care of yourself, okay? Don’t walk alone at night again. It’s... not safe. Especially for pretty girls like you.”
You nod, still too stunned to respond properly. You watch as he shoots a web up to the fire escape and swings back into the darkness. You stand there for a moment, your thoughts racing, wondering if the whole thing really just happened. It’s only when you step inside your apartment and hear the quiet of the night that it hits you. Spiderman just saved me, not only that but he’d called you pretty too.
🕸️🕷✮⋆˙
The next Monday morning at school, everything feels a little surreal. You’re walking through the hallways, mind still reeling from that night’s events. You still haven’t told anyone, and you feel like you’re about to burst. How in the world had Spiderman been so close to you? And you were actually talking to him, like... you know, a real conversation.
As you sit down next to Mark in homeroom, you can’t help but grin. You need to tell someone about the whole thing, and who better than your best friend? You tap his shoulder and lean in close, trying to act casual but failing miserably.
“Oh my God, Mark, you won’t believe what happened last night,” you blurt out, eyes wide with excitement.
He raises an eyebrow, a slight chuckle escaping him as he looks over at you. “What happened? You go to a party or something?”
You shake your head, not able to contain the grin that stretches across your face. “Worse. I got mugged.” You pause for dramatic effect, watching his eyes widen with concern. “But wait—before you freak out, I was saved. By Spiderman.”
Mark freezes for a second, blinking at you in disbelief. “Spiderman? You’re serious? Like, the Spiderman?”
You nod, leaning back in your chair, arms crossed as you recount the entire wild encounter, from the guy grabbing you to being yanked onto the roof and saved by Spiderman. You try to make it sound as casual as possible, but you can’t help but feel the thrill of telling someone about your personal brush with New York’s most famous hero.
“That’s insane,” Mark mutters, clearly processing the details. “Wait, so... what happened next?”
“Well, he saved me,” you say, leaning in like you’re sharing a secret. “But... I’m not gonna lie, Mark, he was lowkey hot.”
Mark splutters, his face twisting with confusion. “What? You don’t even know what he looks like.”
You shrug dramatically, twirling your pen between your fingers. “Doesn’t matter. It’s not about looks. It’s how he was so protective, you know? The way he grabbed me and made sure I was okay... it was hot.”
You watch Mark's face turn a shade of red as his expression shifts from surprise to something else entirely—discomfort, maybe? You can practically see the wheels turning in his head as he tries to hold it together.
“No way. You’re a freak, bro,” Mark says, shaking his head and trying to laugh it off. “Like, seriously? You’re crushing on a guy you don’t even know?”
You roll your eyes, letting out a short laugh. “I don’t judge your crushes, so don’t judge mine. It’s called appreciating someone for more than just their looks.”
Mark scowls, but there’s a nervous twitch in his eyes. “I’m not judging. But... I don’t know, it’s just a little weird. You’ve got a crush on Spiderman?”
You smile, feeling a little awkward. “I guess. He’s mysterious, heroic... and I mean, he was pretty hot for someone wearing a mask.” You nudge him playfully, watching the way he looks more and more flustered.
Mark shrugs, but you can see the slight hesitation in his eyes. “Whatever, man. You’re weird. But... I guess if he saved you... that’s... kinda cool.”
It’s hard to ignore the little spark of something else in his voice, even if he’s trying to mask it with humor. You grin to yourself, filing the moment away. You’re not sure why, but it feels like there’s a shift between you two—something you can’t quite put your finger on.
You press the issue no further, but the day goes on, and you can't stop thinking about Mark’s weird reaction. Sure, he’s your best friend, but the way he acted just now... it made you wonder. Could he possibly feel something more for you?
You find yourself entertaining the idea of Mark having a crush on you, before shaking your head and brushing the thought away. There’s no way Mark liked you, if he did, he would have told you.
🕸️🕷✮⋆˙
As the week drags on, you can't shake the thought of Spiderman. Sure, you were trying to move on, but it’s hard when you keep running into him every time you step out of the apartment at night. You’ll be walking home from the store, or maybe grabbing dinner with Giselle and Ninging, and bam—there he is, swinging between buildings or dropping down from some rooftop. It’s like he’s everywhere.
At first, you try to brush it off, telling yourself it’s just a coincidence. But then, it starts feeling a little too suspicious, almost like he’s... following you? Or looking out for you?
One night, you’re walking back from your favorite coffee shop, the crisp air of early fall making you hug your jacket tighter. You’ve been texting Mark, as usual, but his replies are slow—too slow. You roll your eyes at the screen, sighing. You swear, it’s like he’s avoiding you or something.
As you round the corner toward your apartment building, you feel that familiar shift in the air, that sensation of something just slightly off. You glance up and sure enough, you spot him—Spiderman—perched on a rooftop above you, his figure silhouetted against the dim streetlights.
You pause in your tracks, raising a brow. “Really? Again?”
Spiderman tilts his head, as if amused by your reaction. He crouches down and lands lightly in front of you, his movements fluid and graceful.
“You’re following me, huh?” you tease, crossing your arms over your chest. “I mean, I appreciate the protection and all, but you don’t have to babysit me.”
Spiderman straightens, a soft chuckle escaping from behind the mask. “I’m not babysitting,” he says with a playful edge. “Just making sure you don’t run into any... unsavory people.”
You roll your eyes, but there's a slight smile tugging at your lips. “Yeah, well, I’m fine. Been walking these streets for years now.”
There’s a pause, as if he’s considering your words. “I’m still here. Just in case.” His voice is a little warmer than usual, though it’s hard to tell beneath the mask.
You feel a mix of amusement and frustration bubbling up. “You’re a real hero, huh?” you quip. “Just swinging in, saving the day. But honestly? I’m starting to get tired of it. I mean, you’re cute and all, but this whole ‘mysterious stranger’ act? It’s getting old.”
The words leave your mouth before you can stop them, and as soon as they do, you realize—you’ve just said that to Spiderman.
You quickly recover, trying to act casual. “It’s fine, I guess. I’m just getting a little tired of feeling like I’m in some weird superhero movie, you know?”
Spiderman doesn’t say anything at first. Instead, he steps a little closer, his posture still relaxed but with a certain intensity in his eyes—well, you imagine that’s what’s behind the mask.
“Maybe I should back off for a while then,” he says after a beat, his tone more thoughtful. “You’ve got it all under control, right?”
You scoff, crossing your arms in an attempt to cover up how your heart is suddenly beating a little faster. “Yeah, I’ve got it under control, obviously.”
“Really?” Spiderman says, his voice a little too calm for your liking. Before you can even process what’s happening, he webs your phone right out of your hand, and you gasp, stumbling back in surprise as it hovers in midair for a second before landing gently in his palm.
You blink up at him in disbelief, your mouth hanging open. “What the hell? Give that back!”
He shrugs, unfazed. “What if someone mugs you again? No offense, but your reflexes suck.”
Your jaw clenches at the jab, but you can’t help but laugh bitterly. “Thanks, I feel so much safer now. I wasn’t even worried about it.”
You reach for your phone, and he hands it back to you, but there’s a look in his eyes—concern, maybe? Or just frustration. “You might not worry, but I do. You seem like you’ve got your act together, but... I don’t know. Maybe I’m just looking out for you.”
You roll your eyes, but there’s no real heat in the gesture. "Fine," you say, a little too quickly. "I guess I can let you walk with me then. But just so you know, you’re not my personal bodyguard, alright?”
Spiderman grins behind his mask, a little triumphant, but he falls in step behind you. You try to ignore the way his presence feels different—more constant now, like it’s a part of the night itself. You walk for a few minutes, the quiet of the city streets pressing in on you. You try to focus on the rhythmic sound of your footsteps, but the weight of the past few days catches up with you, and you find your shoulders slumping a little more with each step.
Spiderman notices, of course. You can feel his eyes on your back, studying you, but he doesn’t say anything for a while.
Finally, he speaks up, his voice softer than usual. “You wanna talk about it? I mean, you’ve been acting a little... off tonight.”
You look over your shoulder at him, surprised that he even noticed. But you don’t hesitate. Maybe it’s the anonymity of the mask. Maybe it’s the strange comfort of having a stranger to vent to. But suddenly, you just want to unload.
“Yeah,” you sigh, running a hand through your hair, “I mean, I’ve been dealing with some... stuff lately.”
You kick a rock along the sidewalk as you walk, the soft scrape of it filling the silence. “I’ve got this friend, Mark, right? We’ve been close for years—like, best friends. We have this thing where every Saturday, no exceptions, we hang out. Watch movies, talk... whatever. We’re just... us. But lately? He’s been acting weird. Like, really weird.”
Spiderman doesn’t interrupt. He just walks beside you, giving you the space to talk.
“It’s like he’s avoiding me,” you continue, your words gaining momentum. “I get that people get busy, but he’s never like this. He’s slow to reply, sometimes doesn’t even respond at all, and when he does, it’s like he doesn’t care anymore. I don’t even know what happened. It’s just... really frustrating. And I don’t even know if I should ask him about it, because I don’t want to come off as desperate or clingy.”
You kick another rock, your frustration spilling over, and for a second, you feel a little ridiculous. Here you are, talking about Mark to a guy you don’t even know, someone who wears a mask and swings from rooftops. But the words come tumbling out anyway, all of your insecurities and confusion finding a strange kind of release in the cool air of the city.
Spiderman stays quiet for a moment, processing. When he finally speaks, his voice is calm, like he’s trying to make sense of your ramblings. “Sounds like he’s pulling away for some reason,” he says thoughtfully. “But I’m sure there’s a reason. Maybe he’s just going through something, you know?”
You shrug, feeling the weight of the uncertainty settle in your chest. “I don’t know. I just... I want things Spiderman listens quietly, his footsteps matching yours as you walk. You don’t notice the way his posture shifts, or the way his mask seems to obscure any hint of emotion—though somehow, you feel like he’s really paying attention.
After a few beats of silence, he finally speaks again, his voice thoughtful and a little gentler than before. “You know, I think you should just talk to him. Mark, I mean.”
You stop in your tracks, looking over at him in surprise. “What?”
Spiderman shrugs, his tone almost casual, but his words don’t match the nonchalance. “I get it. You’re frustrated, and you don’t want to be the one to chase him down. But sometimes, people just need a nudge. If you really want things to go back to the way they were... maybe you should just be honest with him. Ask him what’s up.”
You frown, crossing your arms tightly over your chest, suddenly feeling a little vulnerable. “But what if I look desperate? Or, I don’t know... what if he doesn’t care?”
Spiderman stops walking too, his voice quiet but steady when he answers. “He cares. I’m sure of it.”
You raise an eyebrow at him, surprised by how certain he sounds. “How could you possibly know that? You don’t even know him.”
He doesn’t hesitate. “I don’t need to. I can tell from the way you talk about him. The way you light up when you mention him. You’re not the kind of person who just forgets someone you care about. And trust me, it’s obvious he doesn’t want to lose that either. Whatever’s going on, I’m sure it’s nothing personal.”
You let out a long sigh, leaning against the nearest streetlamp. His words stir something inside you—something you’ve been avoiding all week. The idea that Mark really does care makes your heart feel a little lighter, but the fear is still there. “But what if he doesn’t? What if I make things worse by trying to talk to him?”
Spiderman leans against the wall next to you, his posture relaxed. “Look, I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. But you know him. I’m sure you’ve been through rough patches before and you worked through them. You just need to give him the chance to explain himself. I think that’s all he needs—someone to really talk to. And if you don’t do it, you’ll always be wondering what could’ve happened.”
You chew on your lip, his words hanging in the air between you. There’s a weight to them, something that feels... true. Something that makes you want to listen to him, to take his advice. But still, there’s a stubborn part of you that wants to push it all aside. “I just... don’t want to get hurt. Again.”
Spiderman straightens up, his tone surprisingly gentle. “You won’t. Not if you’re honest. Trust me.”
You glance up at him, your gaze softening as you look into the mysterious eyes behind his mask. He sounds so sure of himself.
“Thanks,” you mumble, more to yourself than to him. “I’ll think about it.”
He nods once, giving you an almost encouraging smile beneath the mask. “I know you will.”
You both fall silent as you continue walking, but the weight in your chest doesn’t feel quite as heavy anymore. Maybe, just maybe, Spiderman is right. Maybe you do need to talk to Mark.
Maybe it won’t be as scary as you think.
🕸️🕷✮⋆˙
A few days after your conversation with Spiderman, things between you and Mark seem to settle down a bit. He’s still a little distant at times, but when he’s around, you notice he’s more present, his smiles more genuine, his conversations less distracted. It’s not the same as before—things can’t just magically go back to normal—but there’s something warmer there, something more honest.
One afternoon, as you’re sitting at your favorite spot in the courtyard, you catch him coming toward you, looking a little tired but still smiling like he’s actually glad to see you. You can’t help but feel a pang of relief. It’s been a while since you’ve had one of these simple, casual hangouts, and you’ve missed it more than you care to admit.
He sits beside you, just like old times, and you both start talking like you haven’t missed a beat. But the conversation isn’t just surface-level anymore. He seems more open, more real.
After a while, you can’t hold back anymore. The thought has been gnawing at the back of your mind for days, and it’s finally time to ask.
You clear your throat, trying to sound casual, though your heart is thumping in your chest. "Hey, Mark. Can I ask you something?"
He glances at you, his brow furrowing slightly, but he’s still listening. “Of course. What’s up?”
You take a deep breath, trying not to come off too confrontational. "Why did you ghost me before? I mean, I know you were busy, but... you weren’t even texting me back. I didn’t want to push, but it felt like you were avoiding me."
His expression hardens for just a moment, like he's bracing himself. He looks away for a second, running a hand through his hair. "I was... going through something. Something personal."
You wait, your heart rate picking up. The words hang between you two, waiting for him to elaborate. But he doesn’t.
You want to press him, ask for more details, but you don’t. There’s something about the way he said it—quiet, almost hesitant—that makes you feel like he’s not ready to share. You nod, leaning back against the bench. “Okay... But you know, you can always talk to me, right?”
Mark hesitates, eyes flicking back to you, a mix of gratitude and something else passing through his gaze. "I know," he says, his voice soft but firm. "But right now, I really can’t. I wish I could, but..." He lets out a sigh, his shoulders dropping. "It’s complicated, and I don’t want to drag you into it."
You feel the weight of his words, something about them striking you deeper than you expected. There’s an intensity there, a desperation almost, that you weren’t prepared for. You stare at him for a moment, your gaze softening as you consider his words.
"I trust you, Mark," you say quietly. "And I know you’re not lying to me. So... if you can’t tell me yet, it’s okay. Just know that I’m here, whenever you’re ready."
There’s a long pause as he looks at you, like he’s trying to read the sincerity in your eyes. Finally, he looks away, nodding slowly.
"Thanks. That... means a lot to me." His voice cracks a little, and you can tell how much he appreciates your understanding. "I really am sorry for pulling away, though. I never wanted to hurt you."
You smile softly, feeling the tension between you two finally start to ease. "I know you didn’t. But I’m here, okay? Just like you said—whenever you’re ready, I’m not going anywhere."
He gives a small, grateful smile, his eyes warmer than they’ve been in a while. "Thanks... I really mean it."
From that moment on, things slowly start to return to a sense of normalcy. Mark isn’t completely open with you yet—whatever is going on with him still seems like something he’s not ready to share—but there’s a shift. There’s no more distance. He’s trying, and you’re trying, and that’s enough for now.
And as you walk to class together the next day, you feel a little lighter. Maybe things aren’t perfect, and maybe they never will be, but you’re still here for each other. And somehow, that’s all you need for now.
🕸️🕷✮⋆˙
Things have started to settle into a new rhythm, one that’s almost comfortable. You and Mark are hanging out again, like before, laughing and joking and just enjoying each other’s company. But now, there's something different in the air—something lighter, maybe even flirtatious. It’s subtle, but it’s there. He'll tease you, throw out little compliments that make your heart race, and you’ve noticed the way he looks at you when you’re talking, his eyes softer than usual.
You can’t deny it—you’re starting to feel the spark again, that chemistry you thought you had maybe lost when things got weird. But you're also talking to Spiderman regularly now, and every time you do, you feel like you’re walking this tightrope between two worlds—one where everything feels so right with Mark, and one where he is a complete mystery. You don’t even realize it yet, but you're starting to fall for both of them in very different ways.
You hadn’t expected to run into him tonight, but here he is, perched on the fire escape across the street, casually leaning against the rail. It’s become a weird sort of routine lately—your nightly walks where you’d end up talking to Spiderman. It’s comforting in its own way, even if you still don’t know who’s behind the mask.
You slow your pace and look up at him, raising an eyebrow. “You’re stalking me now?”
Spiderman chuckles, the sound muffled by the mask but still warm enough to make your chest flutter. “If I’m stalking you, then you’re stalking me, too,” he teases, swinging down lightly to land in front of you. “What’s up tonight?”
You shrug, adjusting the straps of your bag over your shoulder. “Not much. Just out to clear my head.”
The city feels quieter at night. The hum of the busy streets seems far away, and for a moment, it’s just the two of you standing there in the stillness. You’ve gotten used to his company in the past couple of weeks, and there’s a sense of comfort in the anonymity between you. A part of you almost wishes you could talk to him more. After everything with Mark, it’s nice to have someone to listen, someone who isn’t involved in the mess.
He notices the shift in your demeanor, and you can tell by the tilt of his head that he’s waiting for you to speak.
You let out a deep breath, gathering your courage. You hadn’t planned on telling him this, but somehow it just comes out. “I think I’m in love with Mark,” you say, voice quieter than usual, almost scared to even say it out loud.
His posture stiffens for a second, though you can’t see his expression under the mask. “Mark?” he repeats, sounding genuinely surprised. “Like, your best friend Mark?”
You nod, biting your lip. “Yeah. I mean... I don’t know. It’s confusing. We’ve been friends forever, and now it’s like I can’t get him out of my head. Lately, he’s been like flirting, I think?”
“Flirting?” he asks, his tone curious, almost teasing. “What do you mean?”
“Yeah,” you say, laughing nervously. “I don’t know, he’s just been way nicer lately? Texting me more, teasing me... It’s like he’s trying to get closer to me or something.”
You glance around, unsure of how to continue, suddenly feeling a little silly talking about your boy problems to Spiderman. You rub the back of your neck and look away, trying to gather your thoughts. “But I don’t know if I’m imagining it. Maybe I’m just reading into things. I mean, we’ve been friends for so long. He’s always been nice to me, but now it’s... different. It’s making me crazy. I don’t know what to think.”
Spiderman watches you quietly, his posture still, though there’s something in the way he holds himself that makes you feel like he’s really paying attention. “You deserve an answer,” he says after a pause, his voice low but certain. “You deserve to know how he feels, one way or the other.”
You look up at him, surprised by his words. “You think so?”
He gives a slight nod. “Yeah. You can’t keep guessing forever. I mean, I’m not saying it’s easy to talk about feelings, but it’s the only way to know for sure.”
You bite your lip, nodding slowly. You want to believe him, you want to believe that talking to Mark is the right thing to do, but the idea of being rejected still stings. “Yeah... I guess you're right. I’ve been avoiding talking to him about it. I’m scared of what might happen if I do.”
Spiderman steps closer, his voice soft and reassuring. “If he’s your friend, he’ll understand. And if he doesn’t... then at least you’ll know where you stand.”
You sigh deeply, feeling the weight of his words. He’s right, of course. You’ve been avoiding the conversation with Mark because you’re afraid of what might happen, but maybe it’s time to face it.
“Thanks,” you say, feeling a little lighter. “I’m not sure I’d have the courage to do it if you hadn’t said something.”
“No problem,” he replies, a teasing note in his voice. “I mean, I’m just a friendly neighborhood Spiderman. Helping people is kind of my thing.”
You laugh a little, but it’s a mix of relief and gratitude. “You’re way too nice to be a superhero.”
He shrugs, though you can’t see it through the mask. “I do what I can. But seriously, take my advice. Talk to him. He’s probably just as confused as you are.”
You smile, feeling a little more confident now. “I will. I promise.”
Spiderman gives you a nod of approval before his posture shifts, signaling that it’s time to go. “Alright. Go get some sleep. You’ve got this.”
You watch as he swings up to the rooftops, disappearing into the night, and for the first time in a while, you feel like maybe—just maybe—you can start figuring things out with Mark.
🕸️🕷✮⋆˙
You don’t even see it coming.
One moment, you’re walking back from the corner store with a bag of snacks, minding your own business. The next, someone grabs you, and your heart leaps into your throat. A rough voice snarls in your ear, “Where’s your friend Spiderman?”
Panic overtakes you, and all you can manage is a confused stammer. You’re shoved into the back of a van, heart racing as you piece together what’s happening. Someone must’ve seen you with him that night, or maybe they’ve been watching for longer than you realized.
Your captors don’t wait long to make their demands clear. “You tell him to show up, or things get messy,” one says, holding up your phone. They want you to call him. The problem is, you have no idea how.
You stutter, trying to explain that you literally don’t have his phone number.
“Don’t play dumb,” the second man snaps, holding up your phone. “We’ve seen him with you. Call him.”
“I can’t—”
Your words are cut off as the van jerks to a halt. The two men exchange alarmed glances, and then you hear it: a thud on the roof.
“What the hell was that?” one mutters, pulling out a weapon.
The next sound is unmistakable—the sharp thwip of a web. The van rocks violently as the door is ripped clean off, light flooding the cramped space.
And there he is.
Spiderman is a blur of red and blue, launching himself into the van with an acrobatic flip. He webs the first man’s weapon before the guy can react, yanking it away and tossing it aside. The second man lunges at him with a crowbar, but Spiderman ducks, the crowbar smashing into the wall behind him with a deafening clang.
“Stay down,” Spiderman warns, his voice firm but calm.
The first guy doesn’t listen. He charges at Spiderman, only to get a web shot to the face. Spiderman kicks him backward, sending him sprawling onto the van’s floor.
“Are you okay?” Spiderman asks, glancing at you briefly.
You nod, too stunned to speak.
The second guy doesn’t go down as easily. He’s bigger, meaner, and surprisingly agile. He swings the crowbar again, catching Spiderman in the side. The sickening sound of metal against his ribs makes your stomach turn.
Spiderman grunts in pain, stumbling but recovering quickly. He blocks the next swing with his forearm, webbing the crowbar and yanking it from the man’s grasp. “You really don’t learn, do you?” he quips, his voice strained.
Before he can finish, the first guy is back on his feet, armed with a knife. He slashes at Spiderman, who dodges narrowly but takes a glancing cut to his arm.
“Two against one,” Spiderman mutters, “that’s not very fair.”
He shoots a web at the knife, disarming the man, then uses a second web to yank him forward. Spiderman spins, using the man’s momentum against him, and sends him crashing into the wall of the van.
The second guy charges, tackling Spiderman to the ground. They grapple, fists flying, and you can see Spiderman slowing down, his movements less precise. Blood stains his suit where the knife grazed him, and he’s holding his side—likely from the earlier hit.
Your breath catches as the second guy pins him, but Spiderman surprises you, using his legs to flip the man over his head. He’s back on his feet in an instant, delivering a punch that knocks the guy out cold.
Spiderman turns to you, his breathing heavy, his posture slouched. “You’re safe now,” he says, but his voice wavers.
“Safe? You’re bleeding!” you exclaim, rushing to his side.
“It’s fine,” he says, trying to wave you off, but his movements are sluggish, and he’s gripping his ribs tightly.
“It’s not fine,” you argue, your voice rising. “You’re hurt. You need help. Come on, let’s go to my place.”
He hesitates, but when he stumbles slightly, he lets you guide him out of the van.
🕸️🕷✮⋆˙
You practically drag Spiderman up the fire escape to your bedroom. He’s limping, trying to downplay the extent of his injuries, but you can see the pain etched into his body language—even through the mask.
“Sit,” you order the moment you’re inside, gesturing to your bed. He hesitates, scanning the windows and doors like he’s expecting someone to burst in.
“Relax,” you add. “Nobody followed us.”
With a reluctant nod, he sinks into the couch, groaning softly. You rush to grab your first-aid kit, returning to find him still gripping his side, his masked head tilted back against the cushions.
“Alright,” you say, kneeling beside him. “I need to check your injuries. You’re gonna have to take off the mask.”
He tenses immediately, shaking his head. “I can’t do that.”
“Spiderman,” you say firmly, “you can’t breathe properly. I need to check if you’re okay. I swear, I won’t tell anyone.”
“No,” he says again, his voice edged with frustration. “I can’t. It’s... complicated.”
You sit back on your heels, crossing your arms. “Complicated? You just saved my life, and now I’m trying to save yours. What’s complicated about that?”
He looks at you for a long moment, the lenses of his mask narrowing slightly. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I’ll be fine. I’ve been through worse.”
You huff, annoyed. “Fine. At least let me patch up what I can see.”
He allows you to clean the cut on his arm, wincing slightly as you dab antiseptic on it. You notice how quiet he’s gotten, his usual witty banter replaced by a tense silence.
“You don’t have to do this alone, you know,” you say softly, glancing up at him.
“I do,” he replies immediately, his tone clipped.
The words hit harder than you expect. You lean back, giving him space, and he stands, wobbling slightly.
“Thanks for the help,” he says, moving toward the window.
“Wait—”
“I’ll be fine,” he cuts you off, stepping onto the ledge. “Take care of yourself, okay?”
And then he’s gone, leaving you staring at the empty space where he’d been, your chest tight with frustration and worry.
🕸️🕷✮⋆˙
It’s been days since you last saw Spiderman. Days of walking home late at night and feeling the eerie absence of the one person who always made you feel safe. You tell yourself it’s fine. That he’s busy saving the city or maybe just giving you space. But deep down, you feel the sting of being shut out.
Mark’s been acting strange too. Not like before, when he outright ignored you, but there’s something guarded about him again—like he’s keeping secrets. You don’t know how much more of this you can take.
One evening, as you’re walking home, the silence feels unbearable. The air feels colder, heavier, without the usual sense of someone watching your back. By the time you reach your apartment, your chest feels tight with frustration. You pull out your phone, scrolling through your recent conversations.
Nothing from Spiderman.
Mark’s last text was a brief, “Can’t hang tonight, sorry.”
You shove your phone in your pocket and head straight to Mark’s apartment
When Mark opens the door, he looks surprised—and maybe a little nervous—to see you.
“Hey, what’s up?” he asks, trying for casual, but there’s a stiffness in his tone.
“Are you avoiding me again?” you blurt out, crossing your arms.
He blinks, clearly caught off guard. “What? No. Why would I—”
“Don’t lie to me, Mark,” you cut him off. “You’ve been weird. You’re barely texting back, and when you do, it’s like you’re walking on eggshells. What’s going on with you?”
He runs a hand through his hair, avoiding your gaze. “I’m just... dealing with stuff, okay? It’s nothing to do with you.”
You step closer, lowering your voice. “You told me to trust you. To believe that you care about me. And I do, Mark. But it feels like you’re shutting me out again, and I can’t take that.”
He lets out a long sigh, leaning against the doorframe. “It’s not that simple.”
“Then make it simple!” you exclaim. “You’re my best friend, Mark. You don’t have to do everything alone.”
For a moment, he looks like he’s about to say something—something big. But then he stops himself, his jaw tightening.
“I can’t,” he says finally, his voice barely above a whisper.
You stare at him, heart sinking. “Why not?”
“Because if you knew...” He pauses, swallowing hard. “It would change everything. And I can’t risk that.”
Your mind races, frustration boiling over. “Do you even realize how hard it is for me to feel like I can’t talk to anyone? To feel like I’m losing you and—” You stop yourself, clenching your fists. “You know what? Forget it. I’ll stop asking.”
“Y/N...”
“No,” you say firmly, stepping back. “When you’re ready to actually be honest with me, let me know.”
Before he can respond, you turn and walk away, leaving him standing in the doorway, his expression conflicted.
🕸️🕷✮⋆˙
Mark can’t stop replaying the look on your face as you walked away. The hurt in your voice, the weight of your words—it gnaws at him. For the first time in his life, he’s truly afraid he might lose you.
He paces his room, running a hand through his hair. Every excuse he’s made to keep his identity a secret feels hollow now. You deserve the truth. And if it costs him everything? At least you’ll know how much you mean to him.
Grabbing a small bouquet of flowers—ones he spotted on the way home earlier—he suits up and swings toward your apartment. The city rushes by beneath him, but for once, he doesn’t revel in the thrill of it. His heart pounds in his chest as he lands on your fire escape, crouching just outside your bedroom window.
With a deep breath, he knocks.
You look up, confused at first, but then your heart skips a beat when you see the familiar figure crouched on the fire escape. Spiderman.
You hesitate for a moment, unsure if you should even let him in after how things ended the last time. But then you sigh, walking over and unlocking the window.
“What are you doing here?” you ask flatly, crossing your arms as he steps inside.
He straightens, holding out the small bouquet of slightly squished flowers. “I, uh... I messed up,” he says, voice softer than you’ve ever heard it. “And I needed to make it right.”
You glance at the flowers, then back at him, skeptical. “You think flowers are gonna fix everything?”
“No,” he admits quickly, shaking his head. “Not at all. But I’m here because... I need to tell you the truth. The whole truth.”
You raise an eyebrow, not entirely convinced. “You’re finally ready to take off the mask?”
“Yes,” he says firmly, stepping closer. “But only if you promise not to freak out.”
“Why would I freak out?” you mutter, but your curiosity is piqued.
“Just—close your eyes,” he says, a nervous edge to his voice.
You hesitate for a second but do as he asks. You hear the faint rustle of fabric, the sound of him taking off his mask. Then, gently, he takes your hands in his and places them on his face. His skin is warm under your fingertips, and you can feel the slight tremor of his nerves.
“Okay,” he says softly. “Open your eyes.”
You do—and your breath catches in your throat.
“Mark?”
He winces, giving you a sheepish smile. “Surprise?”
Your hands fall from his face as you take a step back, staring at him in utter disbelief. “What the actual hell?! Mark, you’re Spiderman?!”
“Yeah...” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. “I wanted to tell you, I really did. But I couldn’t. Not until now.”
You blink at him, processing. Suddenly, all the weird behavior, the ditching, the injuries—it all makes sense. “You’ve been lying to me this whole time,” you say, your voice shaking slightly.
“I wasn’t lying,” he says quickly. “I was just... protecting you. I didn’t want you to get hurt because of me.”
You open your mouth to argue, but then you stop, taking a deep breath. “Why now, then? Why tell me now?”
“Because I couldn’t lose you,” he says, his voice raw with sincerity. “I know I’ve messed up a lot, and I’ve hurt you, and I hate myself for that. But you’re the most important person in my life, and if being honest is the only way to fix this, then... here I am. No more secrets.”
Your heart aches at the vulnerability in his words. You take a step closer, searching his face. “You’re an idiot,” you say quietly.
He nods, a small, hopeful smile tugging at his lips. “I know.”
“But I guess... I can forgive you,” you add, your voice softening. “Eventually.”
The tension in his shoulders eases, and he lets out a breath of relief. “Thank you.”
There’s a pause, the air between you heavy with unspoken feelings.
“So...” you say, tilting your head. “What now?”
“Well,” he says, his smile growing, “I was kinda hoping we could start over. But, like, as more than friends this time.”
You roll your eyes, but you’re smiling now too. “I guess saving me from a mugger earns you some points.”
“Good,” he says, stepping closer. “Because I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you, Y/N.”
Your heart skips a beat, and you meet his gaze, the truth in his eyes making your knees feel weak.
“Yeah,” you whisper. “I think I’m in love with you too.”
Before either of you can overthink it, you close the distance between you, pulling him into a kiss that feels like it’s been years in the making. His arms wrap around you, holding you close, and for once, everything feels right.
Maybe for once Spiderman can have a happy ending.
🕸️🕷✮⋆˙
author's note 𝟅𝟈 this was a bitch to finish i'm ngl but i think i'm pretty happy with how it turned out so yay! i love spiderman sm so yk i love spidermark too. anyways leave suggestions for fics in the comments or my inbox pls.
masterlist.
#jaeyunluvbot#mark lee#mark#spidermark#spiderman#y/n#mark lee x reader#mark lee x y/n#mark x reader#mark x y/n#mark x you#nct 127#nct dream#nct
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Militiae Species Amor Est II
Militiae species amor est - "Love is a kind of war."
Re-read Part I Now!
a/n: if you would like to be added to a taglist, please let me know in the comments!
warnings: // a small threat of violence is made between Iris and her partner, but no physical contact is made. canon typical violence.
word count: 4.2k
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
You step cautiously into the grand halls of the estate, the place you once roamed as a little servant girl, where your bare feet had once echoed softly against the cold marble. The air is thick with the weight of memories, each one pressing heavily against your chest. This was the house where you had grown up, where you had once been invisible, and where your life had irrevocably intertwined with his.
A voice pulls you from your thoughts. It rings out, familiar and poised, yet carrying a tension you haven’t heard before.
“Iris. It has been quite some time.”
You turn sharply, your breath catching as you face Lucilla, the mistress of this house—and the mother of the man you’ve spent a lifetime aching for. She stands before you, as elegant and commanding as you remember, her beauty untouched by the years. For a moment, you falter, caught between the awe she still inspires and the fury simmering just beneath your surface. But there’s no time to linger on reverence. Not now.
“We need to help Lucius escape,” you say, your voice steady despite the fire raging in your chest.
Lucilla’s expression hardens, her posture as composed as ever. “You are in no position to plot something like this. An engaged woman. A woman of low birth who has risen to a place of promise.” She steps closer, her gaze piercing, as if to drive the point deeper. “It isn’t safe for you.”
Her words land like a blow. You bristle, your hands curling into fists at your sides as anger floods through you. “You mean to insult me? When you know—when you must know—that I have loved your son since childhood?” Your voice rises, trembling with the weight of years left unspoken. “Do you truly believe that I could ever forget him? Forget the way we laughed, the way we cried, the way you sent him away as if he were nothing but an inconvenience? I have not had a single night of peaceful rest since that day! Not one!”
Lucilla’s carefully composed mask cracks, but you don’t stop. The words pour out, sharp and unrelenting. “And you? As his mother, do you feel nothing? No anguish, no torment? Or do you simply find it easier to look away, to let him suffer alone? Now he’s here—he’s here, Lucilla—and you expect me to sit back, to watch him fight the same fight that took his father from him? With no attempt to save him, no attempt to shield him from even more pain?”
The silence that follows feels deafening. For a moment, Lucilla looks at you as though she’s been struck. Her lips part, trembling with words that won’t come. Then, to your shock, her face crumples, and tears begin to spill down her cheeks.
She crosses the space between you in an instant, wrapping you in an embrace that is both unexpected and suffocating. Her voice shakes as she speaks. “I subjected one child to a life of pain. I—I couldn’t bear to see you suffer the same. Don’t you see? I’ve only ever wanted you to find peace, Iris. Contentment. That’s why—” She pulls back, her hands gripping your shoulders tightly. “That’s why when Caius’ father approached me, I agreed. I thought he could give you the life you deserved, one free of sorrow. I never meant to make you feel betrayed.”
You push her hands away, stepping back as the weight of her confession settles over you like a leaden cloak. “Peace?” Your voice is bitter, sharp as broken glass. “Do you truly believe I could ever find peace without him? All I ever wanted was your son. Not your pity. Not a life designed to ease your guilt.”
Tears well in your eyes, but you refuse to let them fall. You straighten your spine, your voice unwavering. “If you truly cared about me, you would have sent me with him. Instead, you left us both to live lives filled with nothing but longing and regret. So save your excuses, Lucilla. If you truly care now, then tell me—” Your voice hardens, each word a command. “Tell me the plan to rescue Lucius.”
And she does. Through trembling breaths and tear-filled eyes, Lucilla tells you the plan—how her husband, Acacius, will orchestrate Lucius’s escape from the prison. She explains the carefully laid steps, each one steeped in risk, each one reliant on precision. But there’s one missing piece.
“Someone needs to warn him,” she says, her voice wavering as she meets your gaze. “He has to know what’s coming, or he’ll resist. He won’t trust it.”
The moment hangs heavy between you, her words an unspoken plea. You don’t hesitate.
“I’ll do it,” you say firmly, the fire in your chest burning brighter now. “I’ll warn him.”
Lucilla’s eyes widen, her lips parting as if to protest, but you shake your head, cutting her off before she can speak.
“No one else knows him like I do,” you continue. “He’ll listen to me. He’ll trust me.”
For a moment, Lucilla studies you, her expression a war between doubt and something that almost looks like hope. Then, finally, she nods, her shoulders slumping under the weight of her choice.
“Be careful,” she whispers, her voice barely audible. But you’re already turning away, your mind focused on one thing: reaching Lucius.
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
The corridors of the barracks stretch before you like an endless void, every shadow a whisper of your guilt, every creak of the stone beneath your feet a reminder of what you stand to lose. Wrapped in a dark cloak, the cool air bites at your skin, but the ache in your chest burns hotter. You cling to the cover of night as you make your way toward Ravi, a gladiator-turned-medic who once saved soldiers from the edge of death. Tonight, you hope he’ll save you in a different way.
When you reach his room, you knock softly, your voice barely above a whisper. “Ravi.”
The door creaks open, his wary eyes scanning the hall before they settle on you. “What are you doing here?” he hisses. “You shouldn’t be anywhere near this place.”
“I won’t tell you the details,” you reply quickly, your voice trembling. “If anyone questions you, I don’t want you to lie on my behalf. All I ask is that you point me toward Hanno—let me speak with him privately.”
Ravi’s expression hardens, torn between caution and compassion. Finally, with a resigned sigh, he nods. “You shouldn’t do this,” he murmurs, but he leads you through the labyrinthine halls. When he stops outside a cell, his voice is heavy with warning. “He’s in here. Be quick.”
Ravi pushes the door open slightly, just enough for the man inside to hear. “Someone is here to see you, Hanno,” he announces.
Lucius turns at the sound of his name, his face hardening the moment he sees you. His jaw clenches, his eyes narrowing before he looks away sharply. “I have nothing to say to her,” he bites out, his voice rough, almost broken.
Your heart twists painfully at his words, but you nod at Ravi, signaling for him to let you in anyway. He hesitates, but when he sees the determination in your eyes, he steps back, locking the door behind you as you slip into the dimly lit cell.
Lucius stands with his back to you, his hands balled into fists at his sides. His silence is deafening, but you don’t let it deter you. You step closer, the ache in your chest swelling with every step. Tears sting your eyes as you finally find the words you’ve been rehearsing in your mind since the moment you decided to come here.
“I cannot begin to express how sorry I am,” you whisper, your voice trembling. “For how I treated you. For what I said.”
He doesn’t move, but you can see the slight tension in his shoulders. You press on, desperate to reach him.
“I never should have assumed you would return to this place—to the pain, to the life you’ve fought so hard to escape—and risk everything for the very place that destroyed your family. It was selfish of me to ask, selfish to think I had that right. I suppose these emotions, these feelings I’ve tried so hard to bury, have clouded my judgment.”
His breathing slows, the air between you thick with words left unsaid. You take another step, your voice breaking now.
“But know this, Lucius: you are far more than just a gladiator. Even before I saw you in those cursed games, you were so much more to me. You always have been. You were the boy who gave me his last piece of bread when I had nothing. The boy who made me laugh when the world felt too heavy. The boy whose soul captured mine long before I knew what love even was.”
His shoulders slump slightly, and though he doesn’t turn, you see his hand tremble. The silence stretches, heavy with everything you’re too afraid to ask. When he finally speaks, his voice is low, raw with pain.
“And yet you stood there, questioning who I was,” he murmurs. “Doubting the choices I made to survive. Do you know what it’s like to have someone you love look at you as though you’re a stranger?”
The words cut deep, sharp as any blade, and tears spill down your cheeks. You move closer, desperate to bridge the distance, to close the chasm that has grown between you.
“I was wrong,” you whisper, your voice breaking. “I was so wrong. But I swear to you, Lucius, I have never stopped seeing the boy you were. And I will never stop loving the man you’ve become.”
Lucius stares at you, his eyes swimming with emotions too tangled to name. The air between you crackles, heavy with unspoken words and the years of longing that have built into this single, fraught moment. You search his face for a sign that your words have reached him, that the wall he’s built is beginning to crumble.
Lucius's gaze burns into yours, his expression a tempest of anguish and desire, before he moves. His hands are on you in an instant, rough but careful, as though he's afraid you'll vanish if he doesn't hold tight enough. He presses you against the cold, damp wall of the cell, the chill of the stone seeping through your cloak and biting into your skin. It's grounding, sharp against the heat that erupts between you as his lips claim yours.
The kiss is everything you've imagined and nothing like it all at once-wild, desperate, and unrelenting. His hands frame your face, thumbs brushing over your cheeks as if to memorize the feel of you. His lips are firm, demanding, pouring years of suppressed longing into the kiss. You can feel his ragged breaths mingling with yours, and the faint taste of salt from your shared tears lingers between you.
Your hands find his chest, trembling as they trace over the worn fabric of his tunic and the hard planes of his body. His heart is pounding beneath your palms, as wild and erratic as your own. When your fingers curl into the fabric to pull him closer, he growls low in his throat—a sound that sends a shiver racing down your spine.
The cold wall presses unyieldingly against your back as he leans into you, his body a solid, unmovable force. The contrast of cold stone and his scorching heat sets your senses ablaze. His hands slide down to your waist, pulling you impossibly closer as if he could somehow fuse the two of you together, and the pressure of his touch ignites a fire that consumes you whole.
When he finally pulls back, his forehead rests against yours, and you both struggle to catch your breath. His lips hover near yours, as though the distance is too much to bear, and his voice, rough and low, brushes over your skin.
"Do you understand now?" he murmurs, his breath warm against your lips. "Do you see what you've done to me? You've been the only thing keeping me alive, Iris. Even when I hated the world, I still loved you."
Your tears spill freely as you clutch at his tunic, your voice trembling. "I see it, Lucius. I see it, and I feel it, because l've loved you just as fiercely.”
He tilts your chin up, his dark eyes softening, and his thumb brushes tenderly across your jaw. "Then let there be no more fear," he whispers before capturing your lips again.
This kiss is softer but no less consuming, filled with a desperate hope that perhaps the two of you, against all odds, can still claim the love that's been waiting for so long.
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
The sun blazes mercilessly as the crowd fills the arena, their cheers deafening and bloodthirsty. Your seat offers a clear view of the sand-covered pit, where the fighters enter with stoic faces and heavy chains. Among them is Lucius. Even in the sea of bodies, your eyes find him instantly.
He walks with his head held high, his shoulders squared. You can see the fire burning in him now—a determination that wasn’t there before, knowing that people are ready to rescue him. The weight of hope, of knowing freedom waits just beyond the reach of this hellish stage, has reignited something in him. Yet, the sight of him under the watchful eyes of guards and the jeering crowd still twists your stomach with dread.
Your fiancé, Caius, sits beside you, oblivious to the storm raging within you. His hand rests possessively on your arm as if to remind everyone—and perhaps himself—of who you belong to.
When the fight begins, Lucius is relentless. His movements are sharper, faster, more focused than ever before. You watch in awe as he disarms one opponent and dodges another’s blade with a grace that feels almost otherworldly. But it’s not enough to calm your nerves. Every strike, every blow he lands only tightens the knot in your chest.
And then it happens. A spear slices across his shoulder, leaving a vivid trail of crimson in its wake. He stumbles, his hand instinctively going to the wound, and for a moment, your world stops.
You stand without thinking, your breath catching in your throat. “Lucius,” you whisper, though the name escapes like a prayer rather than a call.
Caius turns sharply to you, his grip on your arm tightening. “What are you doing?” he hisses, his voice low but sharp. “Sit down, Iris.”
But you can’t. Your heart is pounding too loudly, drowning out his words. All you can see is the blood staining Lucius’s tunic, the grimace of pain that briefly flashes across his face before he forces himself back into the fight.
“Iris!” Caius snaps, his voice rising now. “This is unseemly. People are watching!”
You don’t care. The moment the fight ends and Lucius is escorted out, you wrench free from Caius’s grasp and run. His angry protests fade behind you as your sandals slap against the stone corridors leading to the medic chambers.
When you burst through the door, Ravi looks up in surprise. Lucius sits on a stool, blood dripping from his shoulder as Ravi prepares to clean the wound. His gaze snaps to you, and for a moment, he freezes, the stoic mask slipping to reveal something raw and unguarded.
“What are you doing here?” Ravi asks, his tone filled with warning.
But Lucius speaks first, his voice low and strained. “Iris.” Your name on his lips feels like both a question and an anchor.
You cross the room in a rush, ignoring Ravi’s protests and Lucius’s raised brow. “Let me,” you say softly, reaching for the cloth in Ravi’s hand. Your fingers tremble as you press it against the wound, but you don’t flinch.
Lucius watches you, his gaze piercing. “You shouldn’t be here,” he murmurs, but there’s no anger in his voice—only concern.
“And you shouldn’t be out there,” you reply, your voice breaking. “But here we are.”
His hand rises, hesitating for a moment before it brushes against yours, smearing your skin with his blood. “I’ll be fine,” he says, though his eyes betray him.
“No, you won’t,” you whisper, tears slipping down your cheeks. “Not if I lose you.”
Ravi clears his throat awkwardly, stepping back. “I’ll give you two a moment,” he mutters, leaving the room.
Lucius exhales shakily, his gaze never leaving yours. “Iris, you have to be careful. If Caius—”
“Let Caius think what he will,” you interrupt, your voice trembling with conviction. “I won’t sit by and do nothing while you suffer.”
In the space of a breath, his restraint snaps. "Damn Caius," he murmurs, his voice low and hoarse, just before his lips capture yours.
The kiss is wild and desperate, like a clash of wills—a battle neither of you is willing to lose.
His hands tighten around your waist as yours tangle in his hair, the metallic taste of blood faint on his lips, a reminder of the wounds he's endured. He kisses you with the fervor of a man who's fought too long to deny what he feels, each movement urgent and unyielding.
He lifts you onto the nearby table, the rough wood cold beneath your legs as papers and tools clatter to the ground, forgotten. You gasp against his mouth, but he doesn't falter, his body pressing into yours as if to prove something-to you, to himself, to the world that's tried to keep you apart.
Outside, the sound of footsteps halts, followed by a frustrated sigh. Ravi's voice mutters something inaudible, and you know he's standing there, trying to give you privacy while also likely cursing your recklessness.
Lucius pulls back just enough to look at you, his forehead pressing against yours, his breath mingling with yours in the narrow space between. "This is madness," he whispers, his voice rough and thick with emotion.
"Then let it be madness," you reply, your voice just as unsteady. Your hands trail down to his face, cupping his jaw as your thumbs brush over his cheekbones. "Because l'd rather have this moment than a lifetime of silence."
His lips crash against yours again, the kiss even fiercer than before, as though he's pouring all the words he can't say into the connection. His hands linger around your thighs, gradually pushing the hem of your dress higher and higher up your leg.
“Lucius, I—” Ravi’s voice cuts through the haze, and you pull back abruptly, your chest heaving.
Lucius turns toward the door, his body instinctively shifting to shield you from Ravi’s view, though it’s already too late. Ravi stands in the doorway, his face a mixture of disbelief and exasperation.
“I left you alone for mere minutes,” Ravi mutters, crossing his arms as his eyes dart between the two of you.
Heat rises to your cheeks, but you hold your ground, refusing to shrink beneath his gaze. “I was helping,” you say, your voice steady despite the turmoil raging inside you.
“And clearly you’ve been very thorough in your assistance,” Ravi replies, his tone dripping with sarcasm.
Lucius steps forward, his voice low but firm. “Enough, Ravi. You’ve said your piece.”
Ravi exhales sharply, pinching the bridge of his nose. “If anyone finds out about this, it’s not just you two who’ll pay the price. Keep that in mind.” He turns on his heel, muttering something under his breath as he leaves.
The door clicks shut, and silence settles over the room once more. Lucius looks at you, his eyes clouded with both regret and longing. “I’ll deal with him,” he says softly, though his hand lingers at your side, as if reluctant to let you go.
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
The door slams shut behind you as you step into the quiet of your home, the night air still clinging to your skin. Your heart is pounding in your chest, adrenaline still coursing through your veins from the events that transpired just moments ago. You barely have a chance to steady your breath before Caius appears in the hallway, his sharp gaze locking onto you as he takes in the sight of you—disheveled, hair slightly tousled, your dress still crinkled from the tension of the night.
“Where have you been?” His voice is low, controlled, but there’s an edge to it, an undeniable undertone of suspicion that you cannot ignore.
You swallow, forcing yourself to meet his eyes, a familiar lie already forming on your lips. “I was just out for a walk,” you say, trying to sound nonchalant, but there’s a slight quiver in your voice that betrays you.
Caius takes a slow step forward, his eyes narrowing, scanning you with unsettling precision. He glances down at your dress, and for a split second, his gaze lingers on a small stain of blood near the hem. His face hardens.
“That doesn’t look like the mark of a walk,” he says, voice tight with suspicion. “Where did you get this from?”
You freeze. The blood—it wasn’t from you, but from the hurried touch you had shared with Lucius. His words echo in your mind, Damn Caius. You can feel the weight of that kiss, the dangerous closeness, and the desperation in his touch. It lingers in your skin, like a brand that you can’t erase.
“Nothing happened,” you lie again, your heart racing in your chest. You want to scream, to tell him the truth, but fear clamps down on your throat. “I helped Ravi again, like I used to.”
Caius isn’t fooled. His eyes flicker with recognition, and before you can take another breath, he’s stepping toward you, his hand gripping your wrist tightly. “Tell me the truth,” he demands, his voice low and threatening. “You’ve been with him, haven’t you? The Eagle of Rome.”
The mention of Lucius sends a shock of panic through you, freezing you in place. No—you try to deny it, but the truth is already written across your face. “I haven’t—” you start, but the words falter. You try to pull your wrist free, but his grip tightens, pulling you closer.
“Don’t lie to me,” he growls, his voice a razor’s edge, the anger seeping through each word. His fingers are like iron, digging into your skin as he pulls you toward him. “I saw the way you looked at him in the stadium.”
Your breath catches in your throat, your pulse quickening as the weight of his accusation hits. Lucius—the name lingers like a forbidden prayer. “I was helping all of the warriors today. I promise you, I didn’t even touch him,” you snap, your voice shaking with a mixture of anger and guilt, but the words feel hollow, like a lie you want to believe but can’t.
“Stop!” Caius interrupts, his voice rising now, each word thick with rising fury. “You think I don’t know what’s going on? That I haven’t seen how you’ve been sneaking around? How you’ve been lying to me?”
His words hit you like a slap. In an instant, his frustration boils over, his anger flaring in his eyes. He moves toward you, forceful and sharp, and you stumble back into the wall, trying to escape his grasp. You gasp, your heart pounding as you try to steady yourself.
But before you can recover, Caius is right there, his face inches from yours, his breath ragged with fury. “You have no idea what kind of reproach you’re bringing against our family,” he spits, his voice dangerously quiet now. “Your actions make us a mockery. The choices you’ve made—make us look like fools.”
You stare at him, wide-eyed, your heart aching in your chest. His words cut deeper than you expected, and guilt rises in your throat. He’s right—this has always been the choice, between him and Lucius. Between duty and love. But you couldn’t let go—not when Lucius needed you, not when you were the only one who could do something for him.
“Let me go, Caius,” you whisper, your voice barely audible, as if asking for the smallest mercy. “Please.”
But there’s no mercy in his eyes now. Only betrayal, and the realization that whatever it is that’s come between you, whatever feelings you’ve tried to bury, are on the cusp of release. He stares at you, and for a moment, you think you see something softer in his gaze—but it’s fleeting. He lets out a jagged breath, his grip still tight on your wrist.
“I never wanted this,” he mutters, almost to himself. “But I can’t keep pretending it doesn’t hurt.”
You don’t know what to say to that, because you feel the same way. Every word from his lips is a weight pressing you into the wall, and yet, you can’t escape it.
“Clean yourself up,” Caius says, stepping back. His eyes linger on you, raw and unrelenting. “And can’t stand the sight of you right now.”
Caius turns away, his shoulders tense with unresolved anger, and the silence between you stretches, thick with unspoken truths. As he walks out, leaving you standing alone in the dimly lit room, you feel the weight of the choice you’ve made—and the painful certainty that nothing will ever be the same again.
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tag list: @willowpains
#lucius verus x y/n#lucius verus x you#lucius verus x reader#lucius verus#hanno x reader#gladiator ||#gladiator 2 fic#gladiator ii#paul mescal x reader#paul mescal#paul mescal fic
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Never Tear Us Apart (Spencer Reid/Reader)
This is one of my works from AO3 where I post under the user-name fish_cloud. Under the cut will be the entire work as it is already finished. Have fun reading and feedback is always appreciated 💛
Rating: Mature Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions of Violence Category: F/M Fandom: Criminal Minds (US TV) Relationship: Spencer Reid/Reader Characters: Spencer Reid, Reader, Elle Greenaway, Penelope Garcia, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau, Aaron Hotchner, Jason Gideon, Derek Morgan Additional Tags: Soulmate AU, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Mutual Pining, Angst, Violence, Torture, Sexual Content Language: English Chapters: 7/7 Words: 17k
Summary: Soulmates exist but they are rare. So rare, that some people doubt their existence. (Y/n) is already struggling trying to hide her feelings for Spencer but then she finds out they're soulmates, just as they take on a case about a serial killer targeting couples, he thinks are soulmates, things get complicated and dangerous.
Notes: The title is inspired by Never Tear Us Apart by Paloma Faith (I swear that woman has a voice to die for). Also this is kind of dedicated to my best friend, I love her so much. Enough from me, have fun reading :))
Chapter 1
Having a soulmate was a rare occurrence. You could consider yourself lucky if you had one and even luckier if you ever found them. It was kind of like winning the lottery. There were people who had devoted their entire life to finding their other half, without even knowing if they even existed. Isn’t it only human to crave connection? The longing to belong to someone. This is not to say, that you were alone, just because you didn’t have a soulmate or didn’t find them. But this kind of connection was hard to grasp for someone who hadn’t experienced it. A one in a million connection.
Most known things about soul-connections were purely speculative due to the fact that they were so rare and even when some would find each other, there was nothing easy about trying to explain it. Like with all spiritual things there were some people who chased the idea with cult-like devotion and there were people whose life remained inherently untouched by it.
(Y/n) was the latter. In her now 1 and a half years at the BAU she had come into contact with the subject. Mostly it had been people who justified their crimes with their search for their soulmate or they were fueled by their hate for others who had found “the one”. (Y/n) knew that their loneliness didn’t stem from the lack of a soulmate. It was just something to project their loneliness onto.
There were several ways to know if you even had a soulmate but like with most things, they weren’t scientifically accurate most of the time. Soulmates could feel each other’s pain, physical as well as mental. The problem is, who hasn’t had random bruises that showed up out of nowhere or a sudden change in mood. Do you just not remember where those injuries came from and maybe you’re more empathetic than some people or is it your soulmate? Of course, with major injuries there was no doubt but taking into consideration how few even were unmatched souls and out of those how many suffered such significant damage that anything else could be ruled out, needless to say it was an uncommon occurrence to find out this way.
Another thing were shared dreams. Not in the sense that soulmates would dream about the exact same thing, but the overall tone would synchronize. If one was having nightmares, the other would too. Psychological consequences were mostly unexplored.
The last known indicator was that once having met your soulmate you’re lives were intertwined, no matter if you knew they were your soulmate or not.
As you see, all of these indicators weren’t exactly clear. As a result, you could meet your soulmate without ever figuring out they were the one.
When she was younger (Y/n) had fantasized about having a soulmate, like most teenagers did, but as she got older, the fantasy faded. Other things had become more important. She had picked up on some signs but there had never been definite proof and after a while it wasn’t important anymore. She had started working for the FBI as a profiler and from that point on
her mind had been preoccupied with anything else. She wouldn’t waste her life searching for someone she didn’t even know existed.
As (Y/n) walked into the bullpen one morning, the bad dream from the night before still lingered. She couldn’t remember what it had been about, but she hadn’t gotten much rest. She sat down at her desk. She hadn’t even unpacked as Spencer walked up to her with an extra cup of coffee in his hand. (Y/n) couldn’t help but notice he looked tired. “Morning, panda boy.” “Panda what?” “Because of the bags under your...nevermind, you look tired.” Spencer let out a sigh. (Y/n) took a sip of coffee. “Nightmare again?” Spencer nodded and leaned on the edge of her desk.
When (Y/n) first started to take a liking to Spencer she couldn’t stop herself from interpreting something into every one of these common experiences but after a while she’d resigned herself to accepting the were just coincidences. She had read somewhere that people would sync up after spending a lot of time together and there wasn’t a person in the world, she spent more time with than Spencer Reid. The only people who came in close second were the others on the team. When you worked for the BAU, the people you worked with were your family, so much so, she barely had any relationships outside of work.
“I’m sorry, do you want to talk about it?” She brushed his arm ever so lightly with her fingertips as to not overstep any boundaries. Spencer and (Y/n) were close but she herself wasn’t a very physical person and so she would go out of her way as not to make other people uncomfortable. There were of course exceptions. One of those exceptions was Penelope Garcia, (Y/n)’s best friend at the BAU. Over time she had gotten so comfortable with Penelope that physical touch was a given.
But with Spencer it had always been something different. After they had become friends, it hadn’t taken too long until (Y/n) had caught feelings and she felt like taking advantage of their friendship if she used it to get closer to him.
Spencer’s eyes flickered to her hand on his arm for a split second before she retracted it quickly as to not make him uncomfortable. Their eyes met for a second but before she could try to read him and overthink the situation Spencer spoke up. “Conference room in 5.” He walked back to his desk to get some papers before heading to the conference room.
(Y/n) let out a sigh. Spending time with Spencer had become increasingly more difficult. It wasn’t his fault. It just became harder to hide her affections. She could feel them drifting apart in her effort not to jeopardize their friendship. She buried her face in her hands. There was no good way out of this. Clearly her feelings weren’t going away, and she knew she couldn’t hide them forever. The BAU must’ve been the worst place on earth to have a crush on your coworker.
The inevitable next step was Spencer finding out about it one way or another. The only question was how he’d react. (Y/n) had ruled out the possibility of him reciprocating her
feelings pretty fast. She remembered a case in LA where they had to catch Lila Archers stalker. Spencer had been smitten from the second he laid eyes on her. It had taken (Y/n) weeks and a few bottles of Hennessy to get the image of them kissing in the pool out of her head.
She shook her head as if to get rid of the memory. She stared at her desk from between her fingers. The other two options were either him being ok with her having feelings for him but at this point she doubted she could still be friends with him even if he had a good reaction, or he wouldn’t want anything to do with her anyway.
“Fuck...” (Y/n) whispered. She looked up, fixed herself and grabbed her cup before walking into the conference room. The only free seat was next to Spencer. He gave her a small smile before she sat down. Instantly she felt the small butterflies in her stomach. She smiled back and emptied her coffee hoping to drown those fuckers.
Jennifer Jareau was standing in the front explaining their new case. The unsub was targeting couples in the Las Vegas area. The couples went missing sometimes for weeks. There had been 16 bodies already. They showed clear signs of torture. JJ showed them pictures of the symbol every victim had carved into their chest. It resembled a stick figure of a human with four arms and four legs.
“We can safely assume that the killer’s motivation has something to do with the soulmate myth.” JJ concluded.
(Y/n) couldn’t help but smile. She knew Spencer was about to speak before he even opened his mouth.
“Plato said: According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.”
(Y/n) turned to the others. “So, what er we thinking? Is this guy delusional and chasing some fantasy or were those people actually soulmates he found somehow?” “We won’t have definite proof if these people were soulmate or not as they’re dead, but it would be statistically very unlikely that they were in fact actual soulmates.” Spencer responded.
His eyes lingered on her for a moment. He would never admit it but the way (Y/n) chewed on her pen when she was in deep thought made him feel things. It took him a second to tear his eyes away from her before turning his attention back to JJ.
“We’re dealing with a highly organized serial killer. His motivation is power and control, we’re looking for someone with an outwardly normal looking life, someone charming, charismatic and very intelligent. Later victims have shown signs of post-mortem sexual behavior. So, we’re dealing with someone who feels alone, who fears rejection. When his victims are dead the possibility of being rejected is gone. He also inserts himself into the couple’s relationship. We have to assume that whether they really are soulmates or not, he believes they are. It is possible that he also has some sort of god complex, putting himself in the role of Zeus who separates the soulmates from each other.”
The atmosphere on the jet was buzzing with conversation. The soulmate subject had that effect on people. It was a heavily discussed and controversial concept.
“I don’t think soulmates actually exist.” Morgan said and leaned back in his chair. “How can you say that? There have been cases where soulmates have actually found each other!” Elle protested. “It’s all fake, how can you believe them? Let me guess, you also read your horoscope every day too?” Morgan let out a light laugh but Elle furrowed her brows. “They’re two totally different things, even if I did believe in astrology, which has no relevance whatsoever in this discussion, you can’t just ignore facts!”
(Y/n) leaned back in her seat looking at Spencer, who sat next to her. “What do you think?” He seemed to gather his thoughts for a moment. “I mean there is some evidence but it’s all very speculative.” He looked at her for a second and he swore he saw a glint of disappointment in them but then it was gone. “But who knows,” He added quickly “maybe Soulmate are real, it’s a nice thought that there could be someone out there who has such a special connection to you.”
(Y/n) nodded. “But how is that even supposed to work? What if I do have a soulmate but I like someone else? Or I have a family or something?” “There are platonic soulmates as well, you know.” He gave her a small smile. For some reason this gave him comfort. Spencer wasn’t one to indulge in fantasies and he was decidedly to pragmatic to dream of his soulmate but if he had to chose someone it would be (Y/n). The probability of her liking him in a romantic way was even lower than her being his soulmate so the option of platonic soulmates eased his mind, even if just for a bit. He shoved those thought in the back of his head, he didn’t like to dwell on daydreams.
“Well, if some random guy walked in tomorrow and it turned out he was my soulmate, I’d still want to stay with you.” She said, decidedly, not really thinking about the implication. When she caught herself it was already too late. Spencer let out a small laugh. “You don’t have to stay with me, believe me you won’t want to when you find them.” “Shut up, more likely than not I don’t have one anyway, so I guess you’re stuck with me.”
Spencer let out another small laugh, but his heart sank a bit. If he was being honest with himself it was one of his greatest fears. That one day, (Y/n) would walk into the BAU and announce she’ found the one and she would quit to spend her life with them. He couldn’t bare the thought of someone taking her away from him. But this was totally normal for a friendship as deep as theirs, right?
After a while Spencer got up to get himself a cup of coffee. Elle and Morgan were still fighting, JJ had taken Elle’s side, Hotch just listened and Gideon sat by a window rereading the case file. No one was paying attention when it happened. Spencer had gotten distracted by something Elle had said to Morgan and almost tripped, a cup of hot coffee in his hand. As she saw the scene unravel before her, (Y/n) felt the burn on her hand. It took her every ounce of self-control not to make a sound. Spencer hissed and sat down next to her again. He handed her the coffee so he could clean up his hand with a napkin.
(Y/n) stared at him, her mind running a hundred miles per hour. This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be. Spencer shot her a concerned look. “(Y/n) are you ok? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” She stood up. “Excuse me for a second, I don’t feel so well, must’ve been the food or something.” She walked to the bathroom without looking back. After she closed the door behind her she sank to the ground with her back against the door.
(Y/n) felt panic rise in her chest. This was not possible. Sure there had been moments when she’d suspected something was up but she had always dismissed it but now it was so obvious there was no denying it. She felt tears of frustration gather in her eyes. As if everything hadn’t been already complicated enough. Not just did she have feelings for Spencer but now she knew almost certainly that they were also soulmates. She felt anger build up. Whoever came up with this soulmate stuff had been a real asshole. She would have been perfectly happy with not having a soulmate and just having Spencer by her side. What if he didn’t want to be her soulmate? Had there ever been a case where one of them just wasn’t into it? Shouldn’t there have been some signs from his part that he felt more for her? But then she remembered what he had said abut platonic soulmates and her stomach sank. Maybe he had known all along, and he’d just been giving her hints that they could just be friends.
Maybe they could make a deal somehow, they didn’t have to spend the rest of their lives together if he didn’t want to. She had resigned herself to not having a soulmate a long time ago, she didn’t need him.
She buried her face in her hands. Suddenly all those thoughts were gone and what remained was a heavy emptiness. There was no good solution for this, and she couldn’t hide in the bathroom forever. She took a deep breath and looked in the mirror to see how good her poker-face was after just having gone through the seven stages of grief in under 5 minutes.
As she walked back into the sitting area, she was greeted by Spencer’s worried looks. “Everything ok?” She sat down next to him. “Yeah, everything is fine.” “You don’t look so well, are you sure everything is ok?” He put his hand on her forehead to feel her temperature. His hand was cold on her warm face. Her breath hitched in her throat from the sudden touch and she had to fight the urge to close her eyes. She gave him a soft look. “I’m fine, Spencer, I promise.” His touch lingered for a second before he retracted his hand.
“You know you can’t lie to me.” He gave her a small smile. In a sudden burst of confidence she put her hand on his. “It’s alright, I’ll talk to you if I need to, don’t worry about me.” His hand wrapped around hers and he gave her a little squeeze. (Y/n) almost got sick from the explosion of butterflies in her stomach. Until now she’d attributed these strong physical reactions when they touched to the fact that she had a crush on him but looking back she couldn’t remember experiencing something like this with anyone else. Working with Spencer would be a real challenge, now that she had not one but two secrets.
Chapter 2
“Life is short, break the rules. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that makes you smile.” – Mark Twain
(Y/n) had a hard time concentrating from the moment they got off the jet. She felt like moving in a dream as they checked in with the local PD, going over the case again, went to the last crime scene. Only when she entered the expensive suite, she felt like shook her awake. The champagne-colored furniture was covered in dark red blood. But it was not the image that snapped her back to reality, it was the smell, it was always the smell that got to her.
The bodies were no longer in the room, but they had been laying here at least three days before anyone even noticed. One of the detectives turned to her when he saw her going pale. “Ma’am is everything alright?” “Yes, I just...excuse me, I just need a minute.”
(Y/n) stumbled out of the expensive hotel room into the corridor. She had trouble breathing and her hands started to sweat profusely. She knew the symptoms, that didn’t make it any less bad. When she reached a side corridor, she slid down the wall. She tried to remember what she knew about panic attacks. Breath. In, out, in and out again.
A pair of shoes came into her field of vision. She didn’t need to look up, to know it was Spencer. He was the only FBI agent she knew of that wore converse. Without a word he sat down next to her, back to the wall. She heard him breath slowly. She knew he was doing it so she could synchronize with him and after a while the panic had subsided.
“Are you better now?” (Y/n) nodded. “Yeah, thanks.” “What happened in there? You’ve seen worse before, what is it?”
She didn’t know how to respond. It wasn’t just the fact that she had just figured out they were soulmates; it was something else. Their unsub was actively seeking out and killing what he thought were soulmates. She had been the unsubs ‘type’ before but now it wasn’t just about her, it was about Spencer too. She felt bad for withholding information like this. He didn’t even know he was a potential target. She wanted to tell him, tell him to be careful but something wouldn’t let her. Fear of rejection loomed over her like a dark cloud.
“I don’t know, Spence...I’ve just had a rough week, I guess.” “I know you’re not telling me the truth.” He put his fingers under her chin to make her look up at him. “I want to help you, but you need to tell me what is going on with you.”
There was nothing but kindness and goodness in his eyes. She wanted to tell him so bad. “I thought we weren’t supposed to profile each other.” She gave him a small smile to signal him she wasn’t mad about it. Spencer frowned.
“I’m serious, somethings not right and I need to know what it is. It doesn’t need a profiler to see somethings eating at you, it just takes a good friend.”
(Y/n) stood up. “Come on, we don’t have time for this now, we have a crime scene to profile.” She held out her hand to help him get up. He let out a sight and took it.
Back at the police station the team presented their profile but (Y/n) didn’t hear a single word. Her gaze was fixed on Spencer as he spoke. All she could process was the way he talked, how he moved his hands a s he gesticulated and the way he looked with his messy hair and the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbows.
This was getting out of hand. Until now she had at least been able to do her job properly. Only when Hotch had called her name out for the third time her mind returned to reality. “Agent would you please tell the officers what our next step will be?” “Yes, of course, I’m sorry.” She gathered her thoughts for a second before standing up in front of the precinct. “Our best shot is going undercover and try to attract the unsubs attention. We will have two agents pose as a soulmate couple. We know that the unsub doesn’t stay at the same hotel for too long. We also know that he probably targets these couple at special events. Based on the profile we gave you he will appear sophisticated and he probably has some friends in high places. He will be successful in his career as to compensate his feelings of inadequacy regarding his personal life. He has to have some connections, otherwise we would find these victims much faster. He’s paying people to keep their mouth shut.
Tomorrow there will be a fund raiser at the Bellagio. There will be a lot of people and because of the nature of the event there will most certainly be a lot of couples, people usually don’t go alone to those things. This means our unsub will be there. The last victims were found today and killed three days ago; he’s looking for is next victims.”
She could still feel Spencer’s eyes on her when she sat back down. The crowd dissolved slowly. The BAU gathered around one of the desks.
“I think we all agree to send (Y/n) and Spencer as our soulmate couple.” Hotch said and shot them both a look. If (Y/n) hadn’t been so taken by surprise by Hotch’s proposal she would have noticed Spencer blushing lightly. Did they figure it out? Was that why Hotch had chosen them? No, it couldn’t be. Logically, they were the best match. They worked very well together, none of them would pose a great physical threat to the unsub and they were close after all. It wouldn’t be hard to make it believable. (Y/n) almost let out a laugh. Of course, it wouldn’t be hard. She wouldn’t even have to pretend.
“Are you ok with this?” Hotch asked. Both nodded. There really was no good reason to say no.
Spencer sat in front of the case files, but he couldn’t concentrate. He couldn’t stop thinking about (Y/n) and how strangely she was acting. Maybe he had crossed a line and made her uncomfortable? He tried his best to keep a respectful distance, but it got harder every day. It
was almost as if she attracted him like a magnet. It felt so right when they touched hands or when she would brush his hair out of his face when he was too caught up in something else.
He loved to hear her talk. And he loved it when she listened to him. She never seemed to get bored of anything he had to say. Ever. She’d been awfully quiet the entire day. Something was up, he could feel it but for some reason he couldn’t read her. He knew that she would get fidgety when she was nervous, he knew that she carried herself with caution, she had been hurt by people in the past. He knew that she would cover her insecurities with little jokes, and he knew that she had a hard time opening up to people sometimes. But for the love of god, he did not know how she felt about him, and he didn’t know what was wrong with her right now. Some things she held to close to her heart for anyone to see, even him.
Spencer wanted to tell her that she could tell him anything and he wished she would believe him. There was a longing in his heart he couldn’t explain, and he didn’t know what to do about it. His fear was paralyzing him. He’d been hurt before too. For the time being he was content with the little he got, the quick glances when she thought he wasn’t looking, the way she laughed at his jokes and the way she made him feel like their friendship was something special. All team members were close, but he would be the first one she would talk to in the morning and the last one to wave goodbye in the evening. She was always there.
Spencer jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. “Are you coming? We’re checking into the hotel. Or are you to busy dreaming about our little Miss Commitment Issues?” Morgan teased and walked past Spencer. “I’m not – she doesn’t have – I’m coming wait up!” He grabbed his jacket and the files before following Morgan out the door.
The hotel was almost booked out. Hotch stood at the reception, arguing with the woman working there. “I don’t care that you don’t have enough rooms, we booked in advance!” She didn’t seem too bothered. She looked up from her phone for a moment.
“I’m sorry mister, that’s how it is, can’t throw the guests out that have already checked in. Should’ve come earlier.”
Hotch slammed his hand on the counter. “Listen here, I can get you fired in the blink of an eye. Get us our rooms, now!” His voice was calm but anyone who knew Hotch knew not to mess with him when he talked like this. The receptionist seemed to sense it too. “Ok, ok. I have a few rooms left but you’ll have to partner up.”
“Just give me the keys.”
(Y/n) and Spencer looked at each other like to school friends look at each other when the teacher says you can choose your partner for a project. It was understood they would share a room. But when (Y/n) turned the key around and entered their room she wanted to turn around and never come back.
“It’s just a-a queen size bed.” She stuttered. They stood side by side in silence. There was no couch, no armchair. Finally, Spencer spoke up. “It’s ok I can take the floor.”
(Y/n) gave him a light slap on the arm with the back of her hand. “Don’t be ridiculous. We can share unless you’re so uncomfortable with me you’d rather take the floor.” The last part had been meant as a joke, but Spencer began to stammer. “No, no of course not – I’d love to sleep with you – I mean share a bed.” His face was getting redder by the second.
It took her all her strength not to laugh. “Calm down, Spencer.” She gave him a reassuring smile. He seemed to let out a breath he’d been holding. He was so cute when he got flustered, she thought. She would like to see him like this more often if she didn’t know how much it stressed him out.
“I’m gonna go change.” She said pointing at the bathroom. “Y-yeah go ahead.” “Thanks for your permission.” She gave him another smile but this time she was teasing him. “I didn’t mean –” “I’m just messing with you.”
Spencer sat on the edge of the bed while (Y/n) was in the bathroom changing. He tried to calm himself down. His hands were shaking ever so slightly. There was no way she would ever want to be with a nervous wreck like him. Just like that one time Lila Archer had kissed him in the pool. He had predicted very accurately that she had only shown interest in him because of his role as protector. It had been too good to be true. He had become more cautious since then. His heart wouldn’t open as easily. But if he was being honest with himself it was already too late. He couldn’t even pretend (Y/n) had slipped in slowly and quietly. She had kicked the door in the first time he saw her and then she had made her home in his heart, barricading herself inside.
When (Y/n) came out of the bathroom her hair was damp. He hadn’t even heard the shower. There was something so endearing about seeing her like this, fresh out of the shower in an oversized FBI training t-shirt, something so domestic. “You’re turn.” She nodded at him. It took him a second to react before he stood up and followed her example of showering and changing into something more comfortable.
Later that night they laid side by side in the dark. The only light source were the colorful lights of Sin City. (Y/n) turned her head to look at Spencer. She could only make out his silhouette in the dark. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” He turned his head towards her too. “For acting so weird. You’re right there’s something wrong but I don’t know if I want to talk about it yet.” (Y/n) felt her throat close. “It’s just...I’m really anxious about the undercover mission tomorrow and that never happened to me before...” She tried to control herself, but she couldn’t help but let out a small sob. “I’ve never chickened out before.”
Spencer didn’t know what to do. He had never seen (Y/n) cry before. “You’re not gonna chicken out, it’s normal to be anxious about these things. And...and you don’t have to worry because you’re not alone. I’ll be by your side the entire time, ok?” (Y/n) nodded but then she remembered he couldn’t see her.
“Ok...thank you. Just promise me you won’t put yourself in danger, ok? I don’t know what is up with me I’ve never been like this before a mission...I’m worried about you and I have a really bad feeling, I can feel it in my gut, you know?”
Spencer didn’t respond immediately, instead his fingers found the hem of her sleeve and tugged at it. (Y/n) understood and closed the distance between them until Spencer had his arms wrapped around her. “Is this ok?” He asked, almost regretting having been so bold.
“Yeah, this is nice.” She could feel him take a deep breath and relax. She felt his heartbeat against her back and her own heart began to beat faster.
Spencer almost couldn’t believe his luck. The faint smell of the shampoo in her hair made him dizzy. He never wanted to let her go ever again. “Spencer?” Her voice trembled. “Hm?”
“I need to tell you something...”
Chapter 3
Spencer’s breath caught in his throat. (Y/n) turned around in his arms until she faced him. She had never been so close to him. He tried to study her face, but the darkness was making it hard. “What is it?” He asked cautiously. “I think it’s better if I show you.” He watched her as she raised her hands in front of him. When she pinched the back of one of her hands, he could feel it. He stared at her for a second. He felt the realization dawn on him. His mind short circuited and a quiet “Oh” escaped him.
(Y/n) felt her face heat up. She retreated hastily from Spencer’s arms to sit up with her back against the headboard. After 2 minutes Spencer still hadn’t said anything. “I-I’m sorry...I shouldn’t have said anything.” (Y/n) stood up. Now she felt stupid. Suddenly she felt like she was intruding. “I’m just gonna...” She pointed at the door and before leaving in a hurry. Spencer wanted to say something, but the words never left his mouth.
Before he could gather his thoughts, she was gone. It all made sense now. He couldn’t believe she had caught it before him, how could he not notice it until now? His first instinct was to run after her but what if she didn’t want to see him? Maybe she hadn’t told him because she didn’t want to be his soulmate. The only reason she had told him at all had to be the undercover mission tomorrow. Full disclosure so he knew what he was getting himself into.
Had something like this happened before? He tried to remember every single thing he had ever read or heard about soulmates but there was nothing. Another thought crept up on him. She knew when he was having nightmares, every night he had woken up covered in sweat, she had shared with him. Somehow, he wanted to apologize for that. She had to have been in so much pain because of him.
(Y/n) didn’t come back for the rest of the night. She had probably spent the night in Elle and JJ’s room. Spencer needed to talk to her before they started the mission but through the entire day, he couldn’t get her alone. He was almost sure she was avoiding him.
Some time in the evening they were getting ready for the fundraiser. The first time he saw her again was in front of the Bellagio. He wanted to say something, but they were wearing wires and he didn’t know if she’d told Elle or JJ about the soulmate thing, not to mention that the entire Las Vegas PD didn’t have to know about their personal issues.
(Y/n) couldn’t help but give him a small smile when she saw Spencer in his tuxedo. She had never seen Spencer dressed up like this before. “You eh, you look good.” She didn’t dare to look him in the eyes. “Thanks, you too.”
“Guys you need to step your game up if you want to make it believable for the unsub. You look like two teens going to a school dance.” Morgan’s voice rang through their earpieces.
“Shut up, Derek, next time you can go undercover.”
She took the lead and walked into the entrance hall. Spencer walked behind her and in a moment of braveness he put his hand on the small of her back. She flinched under his touch but before he could take it back, she eased into the touch. There was too much on the line to let personal issues get in the way of the mission.
For the rest of the night, they walked around, watching people, trying to identify the unsub, to no avail. The tension was killing them. “Ok, this is getting ridiculous, we won’t get picked if we keep going on like this.” Spencer took (Y/n)’s hand and dragged her into an empty hallway. Before she knew what was happening, he had muted both of their mics.
“We need to talk about this. I’m sorry, I didn’t say anything yesterday I was just...” “Shocked?” She interrupted him. “I get it, can we go back to the mission now?”
She was already about to go back when he grabbed her hand and dragged her back. “Look, I get it, I’m not what you had hoped for in a soulmate, but you need to get your shit together.” (Y/n)’s eyebrows were furrowed. “What the hell are you talking about, if there would be anyone I would chose as a soulmate, it would be you!” “You’re not...you’re not mad?” “No, I’m not mad, I thought you were the one unhappy with this whole thing.” “Why would I be? If there’s anyone who should be unhappy, it’s you. You’re way out of my league –” “Oh my god, Spencer just shut up.” She cracked a smile. “You’re my best friend, why would I spend so much time with you, if I didn’t like you?”
He looked at her for a second. “I...I don’t know.” “Look at me.” She took his face in between her hands. “Don’t you ever say that you’re not good enough ever again.”
Spencer never wanted to kiss her more than it that moment. His eyes wandered to the hall again and then he saw it. “That’s him.” (Y/n) was still caught up in the moment. “What?”
“Our unsub, that’s him!” “Are you sure?” “Yes, now come on.”
They turned their mics back on. “Reid? What happened?” Morgan questioned but he didn’t get an answer. “We have our unsub, it’s the guy in the dark grey suit by the champagne fountain.” (Y/n) whispered. “We have a visual. Try to get near him.” “Roger that.”
As they walked out of the hallway Spencer placed his hand around (Y/n)’s waist. Her heart was beating faster again. They made sure to be in the unsub’s field of view when Spencer took her hand. “Wanna dance?”
(Y/n) just nodded, she felt her cheeks heat up and she hoped Spencer wouldn’t notice. Unfortunately, he was still a profiler and so he bent down to whisper in her ear. “You know you’re cute when you blush.” The red on her face only intensified. “You know they can hear us.”
They heard a laugh from Morgan. “Yeah, we can, looks like our boy’s got moves, careful (Y/n).” Spencer gave her a smile before taking her to the dancefloor.
“I didn’t know you could dance.” (Y/n) whispered as they swayed to the music. “I’m full of surprises, what can I say.” He hadn’t stopped smiling at her the whole time. Her arms wrapped a little tighter around his neck as she laid her head on his chest. She could hear his heart beat fast and she could smell his cologne. She raised her head slightly so that her nose grazed his neck. She felt him shudder lightly as if he was getting goosebumps.
“Guys he’s approaching you.” As soon as Morgan had alerted them, they heard a voice.
“I’m sorry to intrude like this. But you two just looked so beautiful together. Can I buy you a drink?”
(Y/n) had to peel herself away from Spencer. She never wanted to let him go again. “Sure, thank you, Sir.” She gave him a smile.
The man was a bit older than they had expected. The rest was dead on. He looked sophisticated enough with his expensive suit and his well-groomed physical appearance. The three of them sat down at the bar.
“So, what are you two lovebirds doing here? I can tell you’re not from Vegas.” He took a sip from his Whiskey. (Y/n) had to squeeze Spencer’s hand under the bar before he could open his mouth and correct the unsub, that he was, in fact, “from Vegas”. Instead (Y/n) took the word.
“Well, I know you’re not supposed to brag about this stuff but...” She gave Spencer an endearing look that instantly melted his heart. “We just found out we were soulmates and we wanted to get married as fast as possible and what better place than Las Vegas, the City of Marriage, right?”
The man eyed both of them for a moment. (Y/n) had never felt so exposed in her life. She wanted nothing more than shove her gun into this guy’s face and arrest him right then and there, but they had to wait. He had to take them to the hotel room, they had no concrete evidence yet.
“Congratulations you two. I hope I’m not overstepping here but would it be alright to give you a wedding gift?”
“That is so kind of you, right honey?” She looked at Spencer who forgot for a second the situation they were in. His mind had tripped over itself when he heard her call him “honey”. “Right, right, very kind.” He had to tear his eyes away from her. “I want to pay for a night in a suite, the most expensive in Las Vegas.”
“We would love that, but can I ask why?” (Y/n) asked. They couldn’t be too willing to come along with him or he would get suspicious.
The man let out a theatrical sigh before downing the rest of his Whiskey. “I lost my wife a few years ago and I want to do something good for such a sweet couple like you.” They both knew that was a blatant lie. “I’m so sorry for your loss.” Spencer watched (Y/n) play her role with perfection.
“Let’s not talk about me, this is your special night. The car is waiting outside.”
With every step they took (Y/n)’s bad feeling only got worse. She couldn’t pinpoint what it was exactly, but something was off. When they got into the car, she heard the doors lock and panic began to spread. She tried to calm herself down. The team knew where they were, and they would follow them to the hotel where they could finally arrest this guy. She felt Spencer’s fingers slip between hers. She tried to put on a smile but then she saw the man’s face and her blood froze. He knew.
“How funny...” He spoke. His smile made her skin crawl. “The FBI send me an actual pair of soulmates.” (Y/n) let out a nervous laugh. “I don’t know what you mean.” He pulled out a gun and pointed it at her. Spencer wanted to make a move, but the man shot him a look. “If you move, she’s dead.”
(Y/n) could hear Morgan’s voice in her ear. “They’ve been compromised we need to get them out now!” “Your microphones and earpieces please.” The man held out his hand. They had no choice. Hesitantly they took them off and handed them to him. (Y/n) could only watch in horror as the man took them and put the microphone to his mouth. “You can collect your agent’s bodies in a few days.” As soon as he had stopped talking, he crushed the devices.
(Y/n) prayed that the team would find them in time. She could feel how she began to lose it. Spencer felt it too. He squeezed her hand. “Don’t worry, we’ll be fine, they’re gonna find us.” The man laughed. “They will, but by then it will already be too late. I’m gonna have so much fun with the two of you.”
She felt Spencer’s hand wipe away some tears from her cheeks. She hadn’t even noticed she had started to cry.
They arrived at the hotel with no interruptions. (Y/n) knew he had shook the surveillance. As soon as they entered the luxurious suite, (Y/n) was just seconds away from a breakdown. There was no way out anymore. It would take the team an eternity before they found them.
There were about 150.000 hotel rooms in Las Vegas. There was no way they’d be found in time.
(Y/n) fell to her knees. “This is all my fault, I’m so sorry Spencer.” He kneeled next to her, putting an arm around her. “This is not your fault, why would you say that?” “Because I was so distracted. I haven’t been able to focus, I should’ve said something, and we should have sent someone who could do their job properly.” “Look at me.” Spencer cupped her face with his hands. “This is not your fault, do you understand?” She let out a sob. “We’re gonna die...” “We’re gonna be fine, I’m right here, ok? I’m right here with you.”
The man had sat on one of the armchairs, two security guards by his side. “I can assure you that the other agents wouldn’t have been chosen. I know the difference between real and fake soulmates.” Spencer looked up. “How?” He saw the man’s face turn into a grimace.
“Because I can recognize an abomination of nature when I see one.”
(Y/n) let out another sob. Spencer turned his attention back to her. “(Y/n), breath, look at me.” He saw the terror in her eyes. “Look at me, we will get out of here.” She nodded but the tears wouldn’t stop flowing. He had never seen her this scared. They had been through some bad stuff in the past but never had he seen her lose her cool. Something was very, very wrong.
Chapter 4
Everyone on the team was on edge. Morgan’s forehead was covered in sweat. Gideon was standing right behind him, Elle and Garcia sitting just a few feet away.
“How funny...” They heard the unsub’s voice. Something was not right. “The FBI sent me an actual pair of soulmates.”
They exchanged concerned looks. “What is he talking about?” Morgan turned around to look at the others. Garcia shrugged. “She never said anything to me. Do you think that’s what they were talking about earlier when the mics were off?” Gideon’s brows were furrowed. “Could be. Regardless we need to help them.” “They’ve been compromised we need to get them out now!” Morgan addressed the swat team.
Before they could do anything else, they heard the unsubs voice again. “You can collect your agent’s bodies in a few days.”
The horror in Garcia’s eyes grew before the signal died. “We need to do something now!”
A few hours had passed. The unsub, whose name turned out to be Rory Marshall, had left them alone in the suite. There was no phone, and the door was locked. One look out of the window told them they were at least on the 30th floor. There was no escape. Even if they managed to figure out what hotel they were in, they had no way of communicating with the team.
Spencer had gotten (Y/n) through another panic attack. Now she was sitting on the floor with her back leaning against an armchair. Spencer sat right next to her while holding her hand. After a while he moved his position to sit in front of her. He took her other hand too. “(Y/n) look at me.”
She raised her head. The color had drained out of her face. Her eyes were wide open and red. “I know this is very stressful.” Spencer continued. “But we will get through this. I won’t let anything happen to you.” She nodded. “I’m sorry.”
“Stop saying that; none of this is you’re fault. If anyone is at fault, it’s that unsub who is killing people.” “Spencer? What is going to happen to us?”
They both had seen the victims. They both knew what he had done to them. Spencer didn’t need to answer. There was no need to remind (Y/n) of the cruelty that had taken place in the other suites.
Spencer cupped her face in his hands. “Do you remember the Luxor Hotel? The one that looks like a pyramid with the light beam coming out of it?”
“Yes I remember.” “Did you know that the light attracts so many insects that it has established a new ecosystem with moths, bats and owls.” (Y/n) started at him for a second before she realized what he was doing. A small smile made it’s way on her face. Spencer caressed her cheeks with his thumbs. “And did you know that bats can live more than 30 years?” Her eyes became glassy as she scooted closer to him. “And did you know that they can fly at up to 60 mph, in fact the Mexican free-tailed bat can reach up to 100 mph, making it the fastest mammal on earth.”
(Y/n) was so close to him, their noses almost touched. Spencer’s heart began to beat faster. His hands were still on her face. He wanted to pull her closer and kiss the pain away. His eyes flickered to her lips and then back to her eyes. “Thank you, Spencer.” She whispered.
Before she could close the distance between them, the door opened with a bang. The sound made them jump and separate.
Marshall walked in with a grin on his face. “Look at you lovebirds, I hope I’m not intruding.” (Y/n)’s eyes fell on the suitcase in his hand. Two other men followed Marshall into the room. Both were armed. Marshall gave one of them a signal. The man left and came back with two chairs and rope. (Y/n) felt her stomach cramp and the thought what was going to follow. Her and Spencer didn’t move. The other two men left, leaving them alone with Marshall.
“I really didn’t want to interrupt.” he spoke. (Y/n) shot Spencer a quick glance. None of them spoke. She could see Marshall’s facial expression change slowly but surely. The self-assured, mocking look was being replaced by impatience, anger and aggression. “Go on.” He continues while pulling out his gun. “Go on, Dr. Reid, do what you were about to do!”
Spencer looked at (Y/n) but he still didn’t move. He could see the tears gather in her eyes. “I said do it!” Marshall shouted. He was losing it. There was nothing left of his cocky grin. Instead, his face was distorted into a grimace. “Do it or I’ll shoot her right now.”
Spencer straightened his back. “You won’t. You need her, you need us both for your revenge fantasy.” “Do you want to test me?” There was something absolutely insane in Marshall’s eyes. The clicking of the safety being disabled rang through the room. “I said do it.” He was calm again but there was something in his voice that made (Y/n)’s stomach turn.
“It’s ok.” She whispered to Spencer. He didn’t look half as calm as he looked an hour ago. He cupped her cheeks again. “You’re going to be fine; I promise.” He pulled her in until his lips were on hers. They tasted salty from her tears, but they were soft. For a moment he forgot where they were. He had wanted to kiss her for so long. She melted into him, grabbing his dress shirt to pull him even closer. The urgency in her movement almost drove him insane.
“Get in the chairs.” Marshall’s voice interrupted their moment. Spencer pulled away, locking eyes with (Y/n). Her cheeks were flushed and there was a glint in her eyes.
The ropes rubbed against her wrists and ankles. They were too tight to move. Marshall paced in front of them. He had opened the suitcase on a small coffee table. (Y/n) didn’t need to be an expert to know it was full of torture instruments. Every fiber in her body wanted to run when he pulled out a big hunting knife and walked towards her.
“Don’t touch her!” Spencer struggled against his constraints. “Leave her alone!” Marshall let out a laugh. “You know it doesn’t matter which one I chose you’ll both feel it.” He pretended to ponder for a moment before he continued talking. “I still think I’ll start with her. How does it feel not to be able to do anything to help her?” He shot Spencer a look. That shit-eating grin had returned to his face.
He turned to (Y/n). “Where do we start?” He lazily dragged the blade across her collarbone before making a cut. (Y/n) hissed. She felt something warm drip down her chest. Involuntarily she remembered that the killer would spare her face like he had with all his other victims. Her best guess was that he liked to look at them when he had his fun with them after they were dead.
Marshall made another cut, right under the first one. (Y/n) squeezed her eyes shut. Her jaw tensed as she tried not to make a sound. She heard Spencer inhale sharply. She remembered, Rory Marshall wasn’t hurting just her, he was hurting Spencer too. She would have given anything to protect him. If he would hurt only her, she could endure it knowing he spared Spencer, but this wasn’t the case.
The only thing she could protect him from right now was the first hand experience of being tortured and hopefully the mental scars that would remain. She knew she could handle it, for Spencer. He didn’t deserve this, any of it. She just should’ve told Hotch about the soul mate thing and they could have prepared differently. But now it was too late for that and minute to minute the pain made it harder to think.
There was a loud ringing in her ears and her mind was in a fog. After a while she couldn’t hold back the cries. She didn’t want to give Marshall the satisfaction, but it was too much. As if that wasn’t enough, she could hear Spencer too. She didn’t know how much time had passed when Marshall finally backed away from her. Her whole body was sore, and her cloths were damp from her own blood. She struggled to keep her eyes open, but she kept staring back at Marshall. It took her a moment to realize, why he had stepped away from her. His phone was ringing. He took a look at the display before letting out a groan and answering.
“What!? I’m busy.” He snapped. Silence followed. “Alright I’ll be there, give me half an hour.” Then he hung up. “Sorry, kids, I’ve got places to be but don’t worry, I’ll be back.” Before leaving the room and locking the door, he undid Spencer’s ropes.
As soon as they were alone Spencer jumped from his chair rushed over to (Y/n). He still felt the echoes of her pain, but it wasn’t half as bad as the pain she was going through. While his body was intact, hers was cut and bruised. He tried to untie her, but his fingers were trembling too badly.
“Are you ok?” Spencer looked up in surprise as he heard her talk. A nervous laugh left his throat. “You’re asking me if I’m alright?” She nodded. “He hurt you too, didn’t he?” “It’s ok, it’s fading.” That wasn’t entirely true. He still felt the sting of the cuts. He took a deep breath and started to undo the ropes. Finally, the knots loosened.
“Can you stand?” He asked. (Y/n) shook her head. “Ok, I’m going to help you get to the bathroom, we need to clean you’re cuts.” He managed to get his arm under her to give her some support. After ten painful minutes they reached the bathtub. Spencer unzipped her dress. “Is this ok?” (Y/n) just nodded absentmindedly. He left her underwear on and sat her into the tub. He found a towel, held it under warm water and proceeded to clean her up. She watched him with half lidded eyes as he carefully dabbed the cloth over her wounds.
“This is not how I imagined you seeing me naked for the first time.” The ghost of a smile appeared on her face. Spencer paused for a moment to look at her. “You imagined that?” A tint of pink appeared on her pale face.
“I know you find it hard to believe, that girls think about you that way, but they do. I do.” Spencer stared at her. He hadn’t realized she really liked him like that.
“How did you imagine it?” He asked as he continued to clean her. As much as he wanted to know, he also needed to get her mind off what was happening right now. She shot him another look. “Wouldn’t you like to know, lover-boy?”
He let out a laugh. “You don’t need to tell me if you don’t want to.”
After a moment of silence, she spoke up. She didn’t look at him. Instead, her gaze was fixed on the marble floor of the bathroom. “I don’t know. Maybe we both would have been working late and there was no one else except us. And I would walk over to your desk to ask you something and of course you’d know the answer. You always know the answer to anything. I’d listen to you talk...I love when you talk...” She looked so tired. “And I wouldn’t be able to keep it to myself anymore and I would tell you how I felt about you...and you’d kiss me and I would kiss you back...” She hissed as he cleaned on especially deep cut.
“I’m sorry, are you alright?” His worried eyes found hers. “Yeah, I’m fine.” “I’m sorry.” He repeated and placed a kiss on her forehead. When he pulled back, she looked at him with wide eyes. “Can you do it again?” “What?” “Can you kiss me, like you did before?”
Spencer searched her face for a sign of what was going on in her head. Her telling him about what she imagined him doing to her and asking him to kiss her did things to him. Things, he
hadn’t experienced before. He didn’t really know what to do. He didn’t want to take advantage of her vulnerable state, but he felt like she needed him.
He leaned forward to kiss her forehead again but before he could, she grabbed his face and pulled him down. “I meant like this.” She whispered before closing the distance between them and capturing his lips. The smell of his cologne still lingered, she needed it like oxygen. She needed him. She placed several more desperate kisses on his lips before pulling back to look at him. A second later Spencer’s hands were on her cheek and on her neck to pull her back again into another kiss. He had imagined this a hundred times but the reality of her soft and lips against his finally made him understand what Edgar Allan Poe had meant by “We loved with a love that was more than love”.
He felt her shiver. He pulled back. “Come on, let’s get you into bed.” He helped her out of the tub. After he had dried her and given her one of the bathrobes, he helped her into bed.
(Y/n) was tired...so tired. Her head was spinning but she knew she wouldn’t be able to get any sleep. “Can you stay with me?” She asked. “Of course.” He sat down on the bed. Her eyes wandered over his figure. He had taken of the tuxedo, so he was left with the white dress shirt. He had rolled up the sleeves to his elbows, just the way she liked it. The shirt was stained with her blood and it took her back to this reality.
“You know he does this on purpose.” Spencer’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?” “He gives us so much time alone, so we get closer and it’s even more painful when does those things to us.” “I don’t care, I won’t leave you alone. Also, we must find a way out of here.” “There is no way out. We have to pray the team finds us before it’s too late.” “There has to be a way out. And we’ll find it. Try to get some rest now.” “I can’t sleep.” “You haven’t even tried yet.” “But I know I can’t.” “But you have to. Pain tolerance is reduced by sleep deprivation.”
(Y/n) shot him a look. “Thanks for the heads up.” Spencer slipped under the blanket and laid an arm around her. She buried her face in the crook of his neck. She felt the vibrations through his chest as he began to talk again. “Randy Gradner holds the record for the longest period without sleep. It was 11 days and 25 minutes. He set the record in 1964 when he was only 17. They monitored his health. He had problems concentrating and struggled with paranoia and hallucinations. On the last day he was asked to subtract 7 repeatedly starting with 100. He stopped at 65, when asked why, he said he’d forgotten what he was doing...”
(Y/n) didn’t hear the rest, Spencer’s voice had lulled her to sleep. He felt her shallow but regular breath on his neck. He closed his eyes. He would get her out of here.
Chapter 5
(Y/n) woke up exhausted. They didn’t sleep much. When they woke up it was still dark outside. It took her a second to realize what had woken her up. The door had been opened very loudly and her and Spencer were dragged into the living room area. They were tied to the chairs again. The ropes burned against her already bruised wrists and ankles. To their surprise the two men who had tied them up left. They were alone again.
(Y/n) turned to Spencer. “Please tell me you have a plan. We need to get out fast. If Marshall stays on track, we have less than 48 hours.” Spencer’s brows were furrowed. She could practically hear his mind work. “We need to check the windows if they open. Maybe we can get some sort of sign outside.”
“What if it doesn’t work, what’s our plan B?” “Currently we don’t have a plan B...”
They sat there almost 4 hours before Marshall entered the room. He looked exhausted. (Y/n) felt a twinge of hope. The FBI knew his identity, there was no way he could hide for much longer. “You know, they’ll catch you. You won’t get away with this.” She said.
Marshall turned around at her with a surprised look on his face. “I thought I had messed you up pretty good last night. And you’re still talking back.” He gave her a smile that made her skin crawl. “Maybe this time I’ll try your little boyfriend.” (Y/n) saw the blood drain from Spencer’s face but his expression didn’t change. She knew he was stronger than most people would give him credit for. She wasn’t most people but the thought of him getting tortured made her sick. It wasn’t about the fact that she would feel it too, seeing Spencer in pain was almost worse.
“So, what’s your deal?” She asked. Anything to get him talking, to figure out why he was killing these people. Marshall let out a laugh. “So brave today, aren’t we?” “Why do you keep killing soulmates? Feeling lonely? Didn’t mommy give you enough love when you were a kid?” She saw his smile fade. “Or what, maybe you were in love and she turned you down because she had found her soulmate?” Bull’s eye. His face turned into a grimace again.
“Shut your mouth!” He raised his hand to slap her, but he caught himself just in time. For a second he seemed to try to get his rage under control. Then he leaned down to whisper into her ear. “You’re nothing but a filthy whore and by the time you get out of here there will be almost nothing left of you to identify the body.”
(Y/n) held her breath. She had gained precious information. His main target were the women. He was projecting his abandonment on them. The men were just there because it made the whole ordeal more painful. He had raped the women after their death to regain power, power over the soulmate bond.
“You’ll always be alone, killing and raping these women will never compare to a true connection and you know it.” (Y/n) said. Spencer stared at her. She wasn’t interrogating anymore; she was making him angry. And then it clicked. “(Y/n) stop.” He shot her a pleading look. But she didn’t pay him any mind but instead continued.
“So, how did she break it to you? Did she at least tell you in person?” Marshall took on the color of a plum. “Oh.” A cold laugh escaped her lips. “She didn’t. You weren’t even worth telling face to face.”
“SHUT UP!” Marshall grabbed a glass from the coffee table and threw it at (Y/n). She managed to dodge it and it shattered on the wall behind her.
Spencer began to panic. “(Y/n) stop, I know what you’re doing, stop it you’re going to get hurt!” While he was tied up, there was no way he could help her.
“Is that all you got!?” (Y/n) threw the word in Marshall’s face. His hands were trebling. “You’re ruining everything!” “Oh, am I? Am I ruining your little revenge fantasy? You know that it doesn’t matter how many people you kill; it will never be the same as the time you killed her. She couldn’t fight back, could she?”
“THAT’S ENOUGH!” Marshall took the hunting knife in his hand making his way to (Y/n). To her surprise he didn’t cut her, but the ropes. He grabbed her arm and threw her on the ground. “I’m gonna show you fight!”
(Y/n) struggled to get on her feet. She was still weak, but the adrenaline kicked in as soon as he swung the knife in her direction. She turned her head frantically to look for something she could use as a weapon. Her eyes fell on an expensive vase. She grabbed it and threw it at him. While dodging it he lost the knife.
Everything moved in slow-motion as both made a run for it.
And then she had it, she had the knife. Her fingers curled around the handle. She raised her arm but before she could slam the blade into her attacker, she heard a gunshot.
The first thing she felt was her arm going limp. A few seconds later realization hit her and then a wave of pain washed over her. For a moment she thought she had to throw up. Her vision went blurry and the last thing she felt was a burning hot sensation and wetness on her arm. She heard Spencer yell her name before she lost consciousness.
When (Y/n) woke up again she was sitting in the chair, arms and legs tied up. The pain from her arm radiated through her entire body. She had trouble focusing. The first thing to catch her eye was Spencer whose gaze was fixed on her.
“Oh, thank god you’re awake!” She had never heard him sound this scared. “(Y/n) look at me.” Her head was heavy...her eyes were heavy. “(Y/n) look at me.” She managed to raise
her head, so she was making eye contact. “Listen, you have lost a lot of blood and you’re still bleeding. You need to somehow put pressure on the wound. It’s in your right arm near the shoulder. Try to lean against the chair with that part of your arm. It won’t save you, but it’ll hopefully keep you from bleeding out till I can help you.”
She struggled to hold her eyes open, let alone understand what Spencer was saying to her. Another person appeared in her field of vision. “Just let me help her!” This was Spencer’s voice. “Why should I? I’ll let the bitch bleed out, it’s what she deserves and you’re gonna watch her die.” Was this the unsub’s voice?
“But this is not how you operate normally. This is not how you get your satisfaction, do you want all of this to have been for nothing? You really let one of your men take the kill-shot? She won’t die by your hand but by that guy’s.”
There was silence. After what felt like an eternity, she felt the ropes loosen around her hands and legs. She felt two familiar arms around her. Everything went dark again.
“(Y/n) can you hear me?” This was Spencer’s voice again. “Spencer...why did you put me in the tub again?” She murmured. “What are you talking about? Open your eyes, look at me.” The panic in his voice hadn’t faded. “I’m wet, why did you put me under the shower?” “I didn’t please just open your eyes.”
(Y/n) felt like her eyes were glued shut. After a struggle she finally managed to open them a bit. She was greeted with Spencer’s face hovering over her. Her eyes wandered over his figure and widened as she saw him covered in blood. She wanted to sit up but a sharp pain in her arm held her down. She hissed.
“Spencer what happened, are you hurt, why is there so much blood? Let me help you...” “Calm down, it’s not mine.” He hesitated for a second. “It’s yours. You were shot and almost bled out.” “What? What happened?” You had the knife but before you could do anything, one of the bodyguards came in and shot you, he must’ve heard the commotion.” “Are you ok?” “Will you stop asking me that? You got shot!” “Exactly! You must be in pain too.” “I’m managing, it’s not so bad.” “You’re lying.” “Please don’t worry about me, ok?” “But I do, I worry about you all the time, I know you can handle yourself, but I care about you and I don’t want you to be in pain because of me.” “It’s ok, really.”
They looked at each other for a moment. Spencer bent down to place a kiss on her forehead. “Let’s focus on how we get out of here.”
“Have you checked the windows?” “They won’t open, it doesn’t surprise me though. We’re on the 30th floor, of course they’re shut.”
(Y/n) let her head fall back onto the pillow. “We’re screwed.” Spencer’s brows furrowed. “What are you thinking?” She asked. “The glass...”
“I don’t follow. The shards aren’t big enough to use as a weapon when he comes back.” “No, that’s not what I mean.”
Without saying another word, he got up and walked into the bathroom. (Y/n) heard glass shattering. “Spencer are you alright?” He came back into the room with a piece from the mirror.
“We can use this to send out an S.O.S. signal.” “How?” “Just watch.”
Spencer walked over to one of the windows. The sun shone into the room. He positioned the mirror in a certain position so that it reflected the sunlight and threw a patch of light onto the ceiling. He moved it so the light would go out of the window. He moved the shard in specific intervals.
“You’re a genius.” (Y/n) almost wanted to laugh. With a little bit of luck, someone would see the light signal. “I know.” He gave her a small smile.
Spencer repeated the pattern until the sun went down. “Now we pray someone saw that.” “Let’s hope it won’t be too late.”
He walked back to the bed. “You have to promise me something.” “What is it?”
He waited for a moment before answering. She looked awful. The bathrobe was soaked in blood, so was her hair. The parts of her skin that showed were covered in cuts and bruises. Her eyes were framed by dark circles. “Promise me you won’t make him angry again. I know you’re trying to protect me, but I wouldn’t know what to do if you sacrificed yourself so that I can get out of here.”
“I can’t promise you that.” “(Y/n), I’m serious.” She could see tears gather in his eyes. “Please...” The urgency in his voice made her heart ache.
With her good arm she reached out to put her hand on his cheek. “Alright, I promise.” Spencer closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. She managed to sit up and then position herself on his lap so that she was facing him, legs hooked around him. When he looked up at her there was nothing but adoration in his eyes.
“Thank you for taking care of me.” (Y/n) whispered before leaning down to press a kiss on his lips. Spencer wrapped his arms around her waist, careful not to touch her injured arm that was now bandaged and resting in a makeshift sling. Their chests were pressed together, and she could feel his heartbeat. Her breath became heavier as her fingers made their way into his hair and she tried to pull him even closer. (Y/n)’s cheeks began to heat up. She pulled away to whisper in his ear. “I need you so bad...” She felt him shiver underneath her. She continued to kiss his neck, relishing in the small sighs that escaped his throat.
She was just about to undo the buttons to his dress shirt when he grabbed her hand. “Wait...” “What?” “You can’t do this.”
“What? Why not? I thought you...” She looked around for a few seconds, anything not to meet his gaze and stood up as fast as she could. “I – I’m sorry I shouldn’t have assumed...I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable...I’m sorry.” Embarrassment washed over her. “I don’t know what came over me, I should’ve asked – I...”
Spencer stood up too walking towards her. She moved back and let out an insecure laugh. “I’m really sorry.” “No don’t be, it’s not that I don’t want to it’s just...” She still couldn’t look at him. “I don’t want to do this when there is a possibility that you just want this because of the circumstances. You might just be feeling about me this way because we’re in a life-or-death situation and I’m taking care of you. I don’t want this to happen just because you project these feelings onto me and regret it once we get out of here.”
(Y/n) stared at him but couldn’t say a word. Instead, Spencer continued. “It’s just, this has happened to me before, kind of, and I don’t want to...” “You don’t want to go through that again, I get it.” She slowly walked towards him. “Then we wait. But I want you to know that I’ve wanted this before we got caught up in this mess and the only things I regret are the ones I didn’t say to you sooner and that I didn’t have the courage sooner. I know this is important to you. I would wait a hundred years if that’s the time you needed. Just promise me you won’t forget me in the end.” She gave him a small smile. He smiled back and pulled her into a hug, still careful as to not to hurt her.
“I could never forget you.” “Can I still kiss you?” Spencer looked into her eyes and he knew he would never be able to say no to that. “Yes, please.” His voice barely a whisper, he cupped her cheeks and pulled her in. This kiss wasn’t desperate, it was sweet and full of unspoken promises and confessions.
Chapter 6
The BAU team had gathered around a table at the precinct. They had defeated looks on their faces. Hotch turned to look again at the wall where they had gathered their information. Morgan and Elle sat at the table, going through the casefiles again. Morgan closed the files and let the folder slap on the table.
“Hotch, please tell me we have a plan?” Hotch didn’t answer immediately. Before he could, JJ walked in. “I have news. There has been an S.O.S. signal from a hotel window at the Palazzo. It could be nothing, but it could be them, we need a SWAT team.”
Morgan jumped up. “I’ll call Garcia to see if she can find them on security footage in the lobby.” “Right, Elle and I will talk to the SWAT team, we may have to prepare for a possible hostage situation.” Hotch said and walked out, Elle right behind him.
(Y/n) and Spencer sat back-to-back with the couch, facing the window. Marshall had come back earlier and this time he hadn’t let (Y/n) distract him from Spencer. He didn’t look good. (Y/n) had taken care of his cuts, just like he had done for her.
“Tonight, is the night...” (Y/n) said while looking out the window. “It’s gonna be alright.” Spencer turned his head to her for a moment. She didn’t seem panicked anymore. She had been when Marshall had tortured Spencer, but after she had taken care of him it was like she had resigned herself to the fact that there was no way out.
“Spencer?” “Yeah?” “I need to tell you something.” “No, you don’t.” “I – I don’t?” She raised an eyebrow.
(Y/n) positioned herself to face Spencer. “Why?” Spencer turned around too. “I know the speech. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want you to talk like we’re going to die tonight.” “But we could die, and I don’t want to die without having told you how I feel.” “Then I guess you’ll have to survive tonight if you want to tell me how you feel.”
They looked at each other in silence for a while. “I lo –” “No.” Before she could end her sentence, Spencer dipped down to shut her up with a kiss. “You tell me when we get out of here.” “You’re a horrible person.” A smile tugged at her lips.
It was almost idyllic, sitting in a room somewhere over Las Vegas, sun shining through the window. (Y/n) rested her head on Spencer’s shoulder.
“Can I tell you something else?” “Like the time you told me how you imagined me seeing you naked for the first time?” (Y/n) shot him a look. She felt her cheeks heat up. “I think we can both agree that was a moment of weakness.” Spencer let out a laugh. “I think I like your moments of weakness.” She gave him another look but then looked out the window again.
“You know, I still remember the first time I saw you.” She gave him a small smile. “I had just started working for the BAU. They called us in on a Saturday night, it was about the Keystone Killer.” Spencer smiled. “Yeah, I remember.”
“You were so quick to find clues in that word puzzle and...I don’t know. I thought it was cool. Also, you telling Ryan on what page of his book that Francis Bacon quote was on, was kind of funny. And you looked cute with your vest and you had your sleeves rolled up, just like now.”
“You thought I looked cute?” Spencer looked at the carpet, still smiling. (Y/n) nodded. “I did. And every time I saw you after that, I liked you a little more.” She paused for a moment. “The day I realized that I lo – I mean...you know, was on that case with Lila Archers stalker. I knew that I cared for you, but then I got jealous, I didn’t expect that. I had no right, still I knew then.”
He looked at her incredulously. “You were jealous?” She nodded and laughed. “It’s stupid, I know.” “I don’t think it’s stupid, I think it’s cute. Did you know shrimp can feel jealousy too?” “Are you comparing me to shrimp?” “Well apparently you do share some similarities.”
(Y/n) rested her head back on Spencer’s shoulder. “I’m so tired.” He gently stroke her hair. “Me too.” “Do you really think we’ll get out of here?” “I do.” He heard a quiet sniff escape her. When he looked down at her, he saw her cry. Spencer wiped away a tear with his thumb.
“Spencer, I’m scared.” “I know, me too.” He cupped her face. “But I need you to be strong.” “I don’t want to die.” She had trouble holding back sobs. “I just found you, I don’t want to go yet.” They scooted closer. Spencer pulled her face to his, so his forehead resting on hers. “I know, baby, it’s going to be ok.” “I can’t do it.” “Yes you can! You’re strong, I know that.” Spencer brushed his thumb over her lips. “Do you know what I thought when I first saw you?” (Y/n) shook her head.
Spencer brushed a strand of hair out of her face. “When I saw you for the first time, I wanted to talk to you, but I didn’t really know what to say. You were so confident, despite being new and I whished I could be as confident as you. So, I tried to impress you, I guess I know now that it worked.” He let out a small laugh. “I didn’t think someone like you would ever go for someone like me. I guess I tried to get you out of my head with Lila. Obviously, it didn’t
work. What I’m trying to say is that I’ve always admired your bravery, you never give up and you can’t give up now.”
“I’ve got them.” Gracias voice rang through the speakers of a laptop surrounded by the other team members. “They’re on the security footage from two days ago in the lobby of the Palazzo. Rory Marshall is with them. They take the elevator, from there I lost them.” “It’s alright, thank you Garcia.” Hotch said. “We know the signal came from the 32nd floor. “That’s still a lot of hotel rooms.” Morgan chewed on a pen.
“Garcia, check how many suites are on that floor.” Hotch turned to the laptop again.
After a few seconds of keyboard clicking, Garcia spoke up again. “There’s five suites.” “Thank you.” Hotch turned to the others. “Get ready, we have to go in now, they don’t have much time left.”
(Y/n) had fallen asleep on Spencer’s shoulder. She woke up from a loud noise. Marshall entered the room, gun in his hand. “Stand up! Both of you. Get in the chairs.”
Something was wrong. Marshall didn’t wear his normal cocky grin. His was erratic, sweat covered his forehead. They didn’t move. “I said now!” Marshall shouted, pointing the gun at Spencer. They hurried to the chairs. Not two minutes later, they were tied up again.
“Your friends are here.” Marshall’s face had returned to that grimace he wore when he was getting angry.
(Y/n) felt hope rise in her chest. But as soon as the feeling came, it left her. Marshall had no reason to keep them alive anymore. He had no time to live out his fantasy. On the other hand, her and Spencer were his ticket out of here. Correction, her or Spencer could be his ticket out of here.
Marshall’s phone rang. He struggled to pick it up with one hand, his other one still clammed around the gun, uninterruptedly pointing it at Spencer. “Hello?” (Y/n) didn’t know if it was the tiredness or the desperation, but she could swear the voice on the end was Gideon’s.
“They’re right here...yeah...” Marshall shot them a look. “Yeah...” He repeated and handed the phone to Spencer, or rather held it to his ear. (Y/n) could see Spencer visibly relaxed as he heard Gideon’s voice. “Yeah we’re fine.” He said and shot (Y/n) a look. “(Y/n) was shot but we’ve got it under control.”
“Ok, that’s enough.” Marshall took the phone back. “I want a helicopter. And cash. By 9 p.m. sharp.” He hung up.
(Y/n) shifted in her seat. There was no way, Hotch would give him a helicopter. Regardless, there was one more thing she wanted to know. “How could you tell?” She turned her head to Marshall. “Tell what?” He snapped back. She had to be careful, he was on edge, everything looked like a possible threat right now.
“How could you tell we were actual soulmates? I only found out the day before myself.” Marshall shrugged. “I don’t know, I just knew when I saw you.”
“Actually, I could have an explanation.” Spencer chimed in. “There are studies that show that predators can pick out people that have previously been victims. They subconsciously learn to read body language and micro expressions to identify them. Because of this you’re chance of getting assaulted are higher, if you’ve been assaulted before.”
“Ok, enough of this psychoanalysis-bullshit. Shut up, I need to think.” Marshall started pacing around the room again.
It didn’t take long before the phone rang again. (Y/n) could hear Gideon’s voice again. He tried to negotiate the release of one of them. “One of my agents has been shot, let her go and we’ll prepare your demands.” Marshall hesitated. “I’ll send one of them to the roof, but I’ll decide which one.” Without waiting for the answer, he hung up.
Spencer immediately propped himself up on the chair. “Let her go, she needs medical attention.” The grin had returned. “No, I think I’ll keep her. You can go.” Spencer began to pale. “Please, let her go, you can keep me.”
“Shut up, I’m calling the shots and I say she stays!” He waved the gun around.
(Y/n) turned to look at Spencer. “It’s alright, I’ll be fine, please just go.” He could tell she was scared again and this time there was nothing he could do to help her. Every fiber in his body screamed to stay by her side and not to leave her alone with this psycho.
Marshall undid Spencer’s ropes and pointed the gun to his head. “Go.” Spencer hesitated. He shot (Y/n) one last look. She mouthed the word ‘go’. The second the hotel door closed behind him Spencer started to sprint to the elevator. He pushed the button to the last floor a few too many times, as if that would get him up there faster.
When he finally arrived on the roof, where they had negotiated the exchange, he was greeted by the rest of the BAU. JJ pulled him into a hug before he was put in a bulletproof vest. “What happened?” Hotch and Gideon were by his side in seconds. “What does the situation look like down there?”
Spencer closed the last Velcro straps on his vest. “As far as I could tell, Marshall is alone. I’m guessing some of his men left, when they got wind that the FBI was raiding the place. (Y/n)’s been hurt pretty badly. One of Marshall’s men shot her in the arm. We could stop the bleeding but I’m afraid it’ll get infected. She’s tied up and Marshall is losing it. We need to go in now.”
“I understand.” Hotch nodded. “But we need to be careful. If we move too fast, he could panic and kill her.” He turned to Spencer. “I understand you’re impatient, but we need to keep a cool head.” Spencer nodded. As soon as Hotch stepped away to talk to Gideon, Derek came up to Spencer, reassuringly putting a hand on his shoulder. “Is it true?” He asked. “What do you mean?” Spencer’s head was every except on the roof. “Is she really your soulmate?” Spencer nodded. “She told me the night before, but we didn’t get a chance to talk about it.” “We’ll get her out of there, don’t worry, man.” Spencer gave him a small smile. “Thanks.”
Derek’s brows furrowed. “Wait, if she’s been shot, didn’t you feel that too? You need to get checked up by a medic.” “I’m not leaving until she’s out of there.” Derek had rarely seen this level of determination on Spencer’s face. He nodded. “I understand.”
(Y/n) felt the panic come back. Now that Spencer was gone, she realized just how much of her mental stability had depended on him. He was only gone for two hours now and he already seemed so far away. She would have given anything to be in his arms again now.
Marshall was still pacing through the room. She could tell he was weighing his chances of coming out of this alive. (Y/n) just hoped he wouldn’t come to the conclusion that there was no way out and decide that he would take her with him as his final act of revenge. It didn’t look good. He was talking to himself, but she couldn’t understand the words. She took a deep breath. Spencer would try to talk his way out of this, but because she had antagonized herself the day before, there was a slim chance he would listen to her. She had to try.
“Rory?” He snapped his head around, bewildered by the fact she had used his first name. She could tell, he wasn’t used to that. As a person with this much power and money, she could imagine that he had few people who were so close to him that they would address him by his first name. “Rory, I know what you’re thinking about –” “You don’t know shit! Why would you know what I’m thinking about?” “You’re feeling trapped and you try to decide what to do.” “Shut up!”
(Y/n) waited for a minute. “What was her name?” “What!?” “What was the woman’s name? The one that broke your heart.” Marshall hesitated before answering. “Heather.” “What did you like about her?” “She was smart, and beautiful. I couldn’t believe it when she said yes to going to dinner with
me.” (Y/n) could tell by the look on his face that he was reminiscing that time in his life. There was this almost soft look in his eyes. “If you walk out of here alive there is a chance you might find someone new someday.” She said cautiously, never letting Marshall out of her sight. Marshall’s face hardened.
“What the fuck do you know?” She had made a mistake. “There will never be anyone else for me and now she’s dead because of me!” He started to raise his voice and his movements became more and more erratic. “Why did she have to meet that guy? It’s her fault I had to kill her, if she’d just stayed with me, we could have been happy!” The crazy look had returned to his face. “You’re all like this! You go around, thinking you can play with people until some fucking asshole comes along who’s supposed to be your soulmate and you think that gives you the right to drop everyone!” In three big strides he was right in front of her, pressing the barrel of the gun directly to her forehead. “I should just kill you too, one less bitch to walk this earth, I bet your little boyfriend will be heartbroken.” She saw the ecstasy in his eyes. “Maybe then he’ll know what it feels like.”
(Y/n) squeezed her eyes shut. She tried to conjure up images of Spencer. If she died here and now, she wanted him to be the last thing she thought about. She tried to remember the feeling of his lips on hers, the smell of his cologne, the softness of his hair and the sound of his voice hen he told her everything would be alright.
“I love you.” She whispered so quite that Marshall couldn’t hear it. A gunshot rang through the suite.
Chapter 7
When he heard the gunshot, Spencer froze. The SWAT team had stormed the suite, but he was still behind them in the hallway. The moment seemed to drag on forever. The sound burned itself into his mind. He wanted to move but the thought of what was waiting for him in that suite wouldn’t let him. In that moment he hated himself for not letting (Y/n) tell him those three words.
It wasn’t until Derek appeared by his side that he woke up from his trance. Spencer’s feet moved by themselves. He didn’t want to go into that room. As soon as he did, whatever had happened would irrevocably become reality. He hated himself for being such a coward.
“Spencer?” The floor was covered in blood, brain splattered across the carpet, that undoubtedly cost more than his entire apartment. She looked up at him with big eyes. He could see the body of Rory Marshall, who had spent his last seconds in shock as the SWAT team had kicked down the door and taken him out, before he could pull the trigger. His head was empty as he rushed to her, taking her into his arms, holding on to her like his life depended on it. He felt her sob into his shoulder. It was so good to hear her voice. “I love you, I love you, I love you...” She whispered. He pulled back just a bit to look at her. “I love you too, I love you so much and I’m so sorry...I could’ve lost you without telling you.”
She let out a weak laugh. He buried his face in her neck. “I’ll never leave you ever again, I promise.” “I’ll never leave you too, promise.”
The hospital room was dimly lit. Spencer sat at (Y/n)’s bedside. He had laid his head in her lap and fallen asleep with her fingers tangled in his messy hair. She watched his chest rise and fall peacefully. After a while she fell asleep too.
A few days later (Y/n) was released and Spencer insisted to take her home. As they stepped into her apartment, Spencer remained at the door, unsure of what to do. (Y/n) turned around. “Don’t you want to come in?” “Do you want me to come in? I thought maybe you wanted some time to yourself...”
(Y/n) dumped her bag on the couch and walked back to him. He was a bit taller than her, so she had to stand on her tip toes to reach him. She pressed a small kiss to his lips. “I want you.” She said quiet but determined. Spencer let out a nervous laugh. “Maybe you should rest, you’re just tired.”
She grabbed his face. “Spencer, listen to me. I’ve had a whole week to rest. You don’t need to worry I’m not in the right state of mind to make a decision. I haven’t changed my mind about you.” She was so close, their lips almost touched. “If you want me to stop, I will...”
Spencer looked at her, feeling like he was in a dream. She kissed him and it was like his head was empty again. That didn’t happen very often to Spencer. There was always something, some thought, some doubt, eating away at him but when she took his bottom lip between her teeth, everything was gone. She took his hand leading him to the bedroom. He sat down on the edge of her bed, while she stood in front of him, taking her shirt of.
“Let me show you, how much I care about you.” She said, before straddling him. Spencer couldn’t take his eyes off of her. He had dreamed about this moment for so long, he was mesmerized by her. The signs of torture were still visible. He traced a few healed cuts with his thumb. He felt her shiver under his light touch. He looked up at her, meeting her half- lidded eyes. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.
“Are you nervous?” Spencer nodded. His fingertips kept wandering over her waist, caressing her soft skin. “You tend to have that effect on me.” (Y/n)’s smile grew. “I make you nervous?” Spencer nodded again. She raised her hand to run it through his hair. The slow strokes seemed to calm him down. He closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. He felt her hands travel down his face, his neck, to the collar of his shirt. “Can I take it off?” Spencer opened his eyes again. “Yes please.” He watched her fingers unbutton his shirt. She moved painfully slow. Undoubtedly as to not overwhelm him, but something told him it was more then that. She was teasing him, and it was working. He felt the tension grow.
(Y/n) slid the shirt over his arms, fingers tracing over his skin. She felt him getting goosebumps and a slight shiver making its way through his body. She brought her hands back to his face, lifting it to make him look at her. “Do you know, how beautiful you are?” She whispered before stealing a small kiss. “I could look at you for all eternity and never get bored.” “Beauty in things exists in the mind which contemplates them.” “So we’re quoting Hume now?” (Y/n) smiled. “God, I love you so much...” Spencer pulled her back into the kiss. One of his arms wrapped around her waist to pull her closer.
(Y/n) pulled away. “Aren’t you getting impatient?” She stood up to take of the rest of her clothes, but Spencer stopped her by putting his hand on her arm. He stood up, so (Y/n) had to look up again to look him in the eyes. “Let me...” His hands wandered over her waist to her back, unclasping her bra. For a moment she mused where he had learned to do that so well, but the thought was gone as fast as it came when her undergarment fell to the floor and she suddenly realized how bare she was in front of him. The urge to cover herself up never came though. Spencer looked at her like he had never seen anything so beautiful in his life, and truthfully, he hadn’t.
They got rid of the rest of their clothes before (Y/n) led Spencer to the bed. She waited a moment on the bedside. Spencer grabbed her arm, to pull her into the bed. She landed in his arms but before she could get comfortable, Spencer rolled over, trapping her underneath him. A grin spread on his face.
“You can’t tease me forever.” His locks fell into his face, framing it perfectly.
He dipped down, capturing her lips in a hungry kiss. He didn’t want to waste another second. He had waited for so long and then he had almost lost her. His lips traveled to her jaw, down to her neck. A sigh escaped her mouth. “Spencer...” She whispered. He continued to pepper kisses down on her chest, over her stomach. She felt his lips graze the skin on her inner thigh. One kiss at a time he came closer to the place she was aching for him to touch.
(Y/n) buried her fingers in his hair, guiding him. When his tongue slid through her wet folds, she couldn’t hold back her moans anymore. Between the obscene sounds, that filled the bedroom, she repeated Spencer’s name over and over, like a mantra. He loved to hear his name fall from her desperate lips. Her breath was getting irregular, he could tell she was close. He pulled back, only to lift himself up, so he could kiss her. He knew she could taste herself on him as he slipped his tongue into her mouth.
After a while, (Y/n) broke the kiss to sit herself up. She crawled over the bed, guiding Spencer, until he sat on the edge and she was kneeling on the floor in front of him. She ran her hands up his thighs, never breaking eye contact. She could tell, he was holding his breath.
“Relax...” She placed a few kisses on his thighs before slowly taking him into her mouth. Spencer inhaled sharply. Now he was the one with his fingers tangled in her hair, lewd sounds and profanities leaving his mouth.
(Y/n) could feel him trying to hold back but he was struggling. Satisfied with the effect she had on him, she started to work her way up his abdomen until she reached his neck, sucking on it, careful not to leave marks above where the collar of his shirt would close. She seated herself on his lap. Her hands reached around his neck for support when she slid down on him. Both took in a sharp breath. Spencer’s eyes were closed and his mouth slightly agape when he let out a soft moan. That sound alone could have driven (Y/n) over the edge. She waited a second to adjust to the feeling of being filled up by Spencer.
“You feel so good...” Spencer whispered in the crook of her neck. He sank his teeth into her soft skin, sending shivers down her spine. “You too.” She managed to say between breathy moans. Spencer had started to move slowly. His hands were tightly gripping her thighs to guide her own movements.
“Oh god...” She moaned while dropping her head on his shoulder. Her nails dug into his back. “Spencer, I won’t last very long...” “It’s ok, baby...” His strokes were getting deeper. “Say my name again...” “S-spencer I –” She felt her orgasm build up.
“Again.” “Spenc-aah”
Spencer could feel her tighten around him. Her nails left bright red scratch marks on his back. She cried out his name again and while she was wrapped so tightly around him, he felt his own release.
(Y/n) and Spencer were both panting heavily, sweat covering their foreheads. They just stared at each other for a few seconds. “You’re amazing.” A smile spread on Spencer’s face. He took her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm. Her cheeks were glowing red.
“I’m not the only one.” She smiled back.
After cleaning themselves up they laid back in the bed. (Y/n)’s head was resting on Spencer’s chest. He was playing with her hair while she drew small patterns on his stomach. “Was it how you had imagined?” Spencer asked. She raised her head to look at him. “Better.” A smile tugged at her lips. “I never imagined it could feel so right to be with someone.”
“Me neither.” He paused for a moment. “I love you so much, it’s driving me crazy.” (Y/n) propped herself up to get a better look at him. There was nothing but pure adoration in his eyes. “I love you too, I never want to spend another day without you.” “You don’t have to, I promise I’ll never leave your side.”
(Y/n) put her head back on Spencer’s chest. After a while she had fallen asleep.
“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” - Aristotle
#criminal minds#spencer reid#aaron hotchner#reader insert#criminal minds fanfiction#derek morgan#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#fluff#criminal minds fluff#criminal minds smut#smut#archive of our own#criminal minds ao3#ao3 fanfic
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Midnight Studies
Pairing: Lilia Vanrouge x reader Summary: You were up until night studying for Mr. Crewell's test, the most feared of all. You swore no one would notice you were awake, seeing as the storm made it muffle all noise. However, you were wrong. Warnings: terrible writing (indeed) Author's Note: I confess the writing wasn't one of the best but in my defense I was exhausted from sleep while writing lol Words: 1.0K
Heavy rain pounded on Diasomnia's dormitory window. The noise of thunder was an addition to all that storm. It was already a habit for you, much less a problem, you loved these nights when these sudden storms joined you in your studies. They gave you a feeling that you weren't alone.
Studying late at night was not an easy task, but with some exams arriving this effort was necessary. Mr. Crewell's test was the next day and you were having difficulty with a specific subject that you were almost certain would be on the test so because of that subject, you were here, now, at 2 in the morning, sitting at the table in the entrance hall, with all your books, notes, notebooks and pens on it, studying.
Oh, and how you were studying.
You needed to get a good grade on this test to pass, you couldn't disappoint your dorm who were known for excelling in almost every subject and activity at school. You also didn't want to be disappointed, believing that you are a burden.
— I think just a few more questions and I can rest.
If it were any other normal night, without rain and thunder, you would be trying your best not to make noise and indicate that you were awake at those hours, but, thanks to the storm, you believed that you wouldn't need that effort.
You gave your notes another quick read and decided it was time to answer the questions, because what better way to practice a subject than by doing exercises on it?
You read the first question. Pause. Think. Read it again. Pause. Think again. Go back to the beginning and get stressed.
— It's not possible… — A tone of despair escapes your lips.
You place your head in the palm of your hand and rest your arm on the table. The material was right there in front of you, you spent the entire afternoon studying it and now the night trying to understand that subject.
Despair takes over you and as a result you end up deciding to stay up all night.
It would be very bad for you, since you would be awake for more than 24 hours, your sleep would be disrupted, your concentration would be low, your energy would be almost exhausted…
You honestly didn't imagine that this would be a problem for both the prefect and the vice prefect of Diasomnia, as you were studying precisely to help the dormitory's reputation! It felt like you were doing it more for them than for you.
— Well, then I think... from the beginning….
Before you could pick up the book again to read, a voice came from behind you.
— How long do you intend to stay up to study?
The voice takes you by surprise. You didn't believe that someone would be awake at that moment to realize that you hadn't gone to bed yet. When you turn back, you found Lilia looking at you with an expression of concern and reprimand.
— It's bad to stay up this late at night, I can't believe you didn't know that. — His voice comes out strict.
He was the last person you imagined would catch you awake.
Nervous, you try to explain yourself and lie saying that you were already leaving.
— I was just reviewing content Lilia, I swear I was going to bed right away! — You give a smile trying to affirm your excuse.
Lilia just stares at you. Obviously he wouldn't go down that easily.
— Since that's the case, I'll remain here until your quick review is over and you go to your room to sleep. — He comes over and sits in the chair next to you — You have five minutes — His lips form an amused smile.
You didn’t know if he was having fun with you or the fake situation you created. Maybe both, who knows.
But now you had no option but to "revise" in five minutes.
You put down the book and pick up your class notes again and read them, still not understanding most of the things that were there.
Time passed and when you least expected it, the brief five minutes had already ended.
— That's it! Time to sleep. — He gets up and pulls you by the hand, taking you to your room.
The weight of not doing well on Mr. Crewell's test made you explain your situation to Lilia, hoping that he would understand and just let you stay awake that night.
— Lilia… please, I can't sleep now. — He stops pulling you and looks at you — Mr. Crewell's test is tomorrow and I haven't managed to understand a specific subject yet… I don't want to do badly and ruin the reputation that my dorm has because of me — The outburst comes out and you anxiously await Lilia's reaction
But all you get is a laugh.
— Do you really think we would lose our reputation because of a test? — He lets go of your hand and approaches you.
— Y/N, the happiness and health of our students is much more important to us. You don't need to try so hard because of this, although I can't deny that it makes me happy to see such a dedicated student at Diasomnia! — He lets out another chuckle.
— But…. Lilia…. — You try to defend yourself again but are interrupted by him pulling you back to your room.
— No more excuses! Time to sleep.
You are led until you stop in front of your room, Lilia patiently waiting to see you enter to confirm to himself that you have indeed gone to sleep.
You let out a sigh and finally enter.
— Good night Lilia. — You say goodbye to him and close the door.
— Sweet dreams, Y/N — Lilia walks calmly towards his room. — I think I should be more careful in case she spends more nights awake....
You couldn't deny it, Lilia's words and the fact that he forced you to go to sleep helped you have a good night's sleep without any worries.
And honestly, it's a good thing he told you to go to sleep, because the test had been canceled thanks to the heavy rain the night before.
#twisted wonderland#lilia vanrouge#twst lilia#twisted wonderland lilia#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x mc#twst x reader#disney twst#twst wonderland#twst#disney twisted wonderland#lilia x reader#lilia twst#lilia twisted wonderland#lilia vanrouge x reader#lilia vanrouge x you
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Mutual Benefit || Chapter 1
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Hello all! This is my first ever time posting a fanfic on tumblr so I apologize if things are not formatted correctly! If you have any questions or thoughts feel free to reach out to me!!
Summery:
Posts season 2: Spoiler warning!! Being forced into an arranged marriage, [Name] tried her hardest with her unreceptive husband Salo. After his death, she was forced to replace his council position, trying to figure out who she was as a person. Sevika never expected to get anywhere close to the council, let alone join them. As the stigma around people from Zaun still stood, she struggled to gain the respect from her new fellow councillors. With so many differences how could the two really help one another?
Category:
Sevika x Female Reader || 18+ themes
Chapter Warnings:
Season 2 Spoilers, Toxic relationship (with salo), Mostly a Salo x reader but that ends after this chapter
Word count: 2,411
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Mutual Benefit Master List || Next Chapter ->
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Arranged marriage. Such a depressing concept. Being sold for the benefit of others. The best outcome, you find love and are content with your life. Worst case scenario: you spend the rest of your life with someone you absolutely despise.
[Name] was sadly subjected to such a fate. After the civil war in her country ended, she was immediately shipped off to an unfamiliar country. Being the only female to survive, it was her ‘duty’. This would allow her country to obtain the resources needed to rebuild.
She was to marry Councillor member Salo in Piltover. To both her happiness and dismay, he too did not want this kind of arrangement. He was the head of his own clan in Piltover. His many advisors pushed him to agree to this.
Next thing they both knew, they were shoved in a room alone, left to get to know each other in such awkward circumstances. Things were silent between the two for a long time as Salo downed one glass of wine after another.
Finally, Salo was the first to speak. Asking the random question “Do you like the theatre?” He was only met with a hesitant nod. He chuckled with a small smile. “Things might work out.”
She walked down the aisle to marry the man she had only spoken a few words to. They both made it very clear how unhappy they were in the situation. Thankfully, they weren’t forced to engage with one another after the ceremony, separating from one another immediately.
They spend most of their time together watching performances, whispering back and forth their thoughts. After a few months, their relationship had turned into a friendship of some sort. Respecting one another while acknowledging that neither one of them wanted to be there.
For the most part he was bearable. Taking care of any finances she needed. He bought her a separate apartment, so she could live separately. Invited her to any party that was being held. Allowed her to have her own separate life if she wished.
She quickly fit into the higher society in Piltover, making friends with his fellow council members, often confiding to them about her current marital status. They didn’t have much to say, not having been in that situation.
He too had his own life. Finding love and physical intimacy outside of their marriage. She could care less. What she did care about is that he wouldn’t allow her the same freedom. “Something like that could ruin my reputation.” He lazily told her. She was beyond furious, yet couldn’t bring herself to defy his demand.
It didn’t take too long for Salo’s clan advisors to question the lack of heir. She of course agreed to it, but hated every second of it. She knew she was more attracted to women than men, but that moment had completely confirmed that she had no attraction to men.
He left her right after, not wanting to do anything else. She laid in her bed alone, crying and she hated the feeling of being left alone after having to be so vulnerable. She could only hope that it did the job and they would never have to interact in such a way again.
Thankfully, nine months later, she gave birth to their daughter Sasha. Salo seemed different with Sasha. She thought that Salo wouldn’t be a caring father, but to her surprise, he was for the beginning.
Sasha for the most part lived at [Name]’s apartment. Salo visited often until she was about three years old. [Name] realized their daughter needed to have both parents in one household to be raised properly.
Salo complained a lot about it, not wanting to live there. But the second he saw his daughter, his demeanor completely changed. In Sasha’s eye’s, they were a happy loving family. But things were so far from that. Salo often spent his nights elsewhere, always being back before breakfast.
There were sometimes happy moments in the home, making [Name] almost believing that this life was a happy one. Listening to music, they would sometimes dance in the living room, their daughter joining in, turning into them both dancing with her.
Most of the time, they fought, yelling back and forth about meaningless things. This made them realize that the only reason their relationship had worked for the past few years was because they were apart and there was no relationship.
Salo started coming to the house less and less, preferring the comfort of his theater and other women. He was completely moved out by the time that Sasha was six. [Name] had to start searching him out with their child in her arms, just so she didn’t have to explain why her father didn’t want to be around.
Her daughter was everything to her. Truthfully, the only good thing in her life. She despised Salo for making Sasha cry for his absence. When he did spend time with his daughter, everything was perfect. But those moments were fleeting.
At some point, [Name] began praying that something would happen to Salo. Some real excuse for why he couldn’t be around more often. When the explosion racked through Piltover, she ran over to the window, seeing the council room collapsing to the ground.
She hated to admit that her heart clenched in excitement. The only way she could get out of the marriage was if he died, and she wished that it was true. Dropping Sasha off at a neighbors, she ran as fast as she could to the building in nothing but her nightgown and robes, not even a shoe on her feet.
Arriving at the building, the guards immediately let her through, knowing who she was. Ambess, the mother of councilor Mel, led her to the victims. There were a few bodies covered with a white cloth.
Walking up to the dead bodies, she prayed to the Gods above to be free. Before she could view any of the dead, she heard her name be called out. She turned to see her husband laying in a cot, reaching out to her as he sobbed.
“My wife.” He called in a cry. “My legs-”
When she approached, he grabbed her by the hips, pulling her close enough to wrap his arms around her upper thighs and cry into them. He grieved over the loss of his mobility. It reminded her of the way her daughter would cry over the loss of her father that wasn’t even dead. The father that was merely down the street that could take an hour out of his day to play with his daughter.
[Name] felt no sympathy and wished the ruble had landed on his head instead. Yet she said nothing, she did nothing, letting him sob into her nightgown.
He finally moved back into her house. But not because he wanted to, but because he needed to. Being his wife, [Name] had to take care of him. ‘In sickness and in health’ was really testing her patience.
He was harder to take care of than Sasha, a literal child. Sasha was excited to have her father back, often jumping on him without realizing it hurt him. He would yell at her, pushing her off the wheelchair. Feeling rejected by her father, she would cry. [Name] was stuck with having to come up with a good excuse for his actions to make her feel better.
He was demanding. He was rude. He was hateful. But worst of all he was ungrateful. The only joy in her days was when Ambessa would come to take him to the council meetings and [Name] finally got to have alone time with her daughter.
Salo would come back from these meetings talking about war. Thankfully Sasha would already be in bed by this point so she could let her facade down. He wanted to wage a full fledged attack on the people of Zaun. She disagreed with him deeply, knowing the outcomes of the civil war.
“What do you know about war?” He spat at her without thinking.
She dropped the plate she was cleaning from dinner it shattered on impact with the ground. Snapping around at him she gave the most hateful look. He was stunned, never seeing that kind of expression on her before. “Ask my dead sister and brother.”
Stepping over the glass, she walked past Salo in his wheelchair, heading to her room. He called out to her, demanding she came back and at least helped him into bed. She was beyond thankful that her daughter was such a heavy sleeper and wouldn’t wake up to his pathetic cries.
After a while he stopped, and when she woke up, he was gone, living back at the theater. She was determined to never see him again. But after too many days off Sasha crying over her missing father, she finally caved.
Out front of his door, she told Sasha to wait there for a moment before entering into his private suite without knocking. He laid on the couch as a woman painted purple liquid onto his legs. They both jumped, startled at her entrance.
She didn’t even flinch at the sight. “Get dressed. Your daughter wants to see you.” Her tone was harsh and left no room for defiance from him. The woman swiftly packed her things, which Salo clearly didn’t agree with, grabbing her arm and forcing her to stay.
“She can come see me later, I’m in the middle of something.” He harshly replied back to his wife.
“No she can’t.” [Name] Said with finality, looking at the woman in hopes that she could convince Salo.
The woman ripped her wrist out of his grasp, hiding her face into her scarf. “I was done anyways.” She told Salo, before walking around the couch.
Y/N followed her out, going to grab Sasha and give him time to get dressed. She whispered a quiet “Thank you.” To the woman for helping her. The woman only gave a slight nod before walking off.
Sasha ran to her father, excited to see him. She rambled on about what happened the past few months that he was absent. He barely paid attention to her, replying vaguely while looking at the ceiling.
It didn’t take her long before she got tired from all of her excitement and fell asleep on the couch beside him. [Name] was quick to pick her up and head for the door. Before reaching the exit, Salo called out to her again.
She hesitated, stopping to listen to what he had to say. Deep down she wished it would be an apology. “I am going to get my legs fixed. Lest told me about a miracle worker in the undercity. I want you to take me.” He told.
“You can find your own way down there.” She mumbled, leaving him alone in his apartment.
Those were the last words she ever spoke to her husband. He had disappeared without a trace. Sasha was devastated to hear about her missing father. With her new found hope, [Name] comforted her daughter.
It wasn’t until Jayce came to her, confirming her prayers, admitting that he had murdered Salo. She had always liked Jayce, thinking that he was a bright mind and the personification of Piltover. He was distraught, not knowing how to tell a wife and child that he was the reason that their family was broken.
[Name] had cried, but not out of sadness, out of relief. Hugging him, she told him “Thank you.” He was shocked and didn’t understand why she would be thanking him for everything. Not knowing how to react, he only awkwardly mumbled “Your welcome?”
With the confirmation of Salo’s death, the next course of action was getting out of Piltover as quickly as possible, not wanting to experience another civil war. Boarding an airship with Sasha she went home.
Leaning off the edge of the airship, she played with her wedding ring. After everything that had happened with Salo, she still kept it on. With a deep, happy sigh, she took the ring off, and with as much power as she could muster, she threw it off the side of the airship watching it fall towards the ocean.
She smiled brightly. Finally free. [Name] looked down next to her to see Sasha sitting at her feet. She was sad of course, she had lost her father, but [Name] wanted to celebrate. Picking Sasha up, she twirled around, kissing Sasha all over her face. After putting Sasha back down, she cupped Sasha’s face, looking her in the eyes she promised. “Everything will be okay. I love you so much, you are my world, never forget that.”
Sasha nodded in response, smiling for the first time in weeks, hugging her mother.
The two spent time in her home nation for a few months. It was good for Sasha to be with her cousins that were around her age. And it was good for [Name] to be around a caring family.
She celebrated Salo’s death with her brother and sister in law many nights. They would crack open a bottle of wine and throw insults at him as they slowly emptied the bottle. By the end of the night they’d be screaming at the top of their lungs “Good riddance!”
While she thought she escaped Piltover, she was berated by letter after letter from Salo’s clan. They demanded she return to Piltover with their heir. They often brought up the contract that was created in their marriage pact, saying it was her ‘duty’.
They told her how she needed to be the stand in for Salo until Sasha came of age to take over. She couldn’t understand why they couldn’t just choose some other clan member to be head. Plus, she could never see her daughter becoming the head of a clan she knew nothing about. Salo taught her nothing, nor prepared her for the position.
After about a hundred letters, she caved. The clan didn’t want to lose the position of power they had in the council. Learning about the new government that has been formed, she was pushed to become a council member.
Sasha was devastated to leave her family that she grew so close to in the short amount of time that she was there. All [Name] could do was promise that she was going to build Sasha a better future in the new position.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Sunshine's Guide To Murder│Lee Minho
Chapter Twenty Nine: Narnia: The Bullshit Chronicles SS: 17 (ignore time stamps and dates) Word Count: 3.3 K & 3.1K (it's a long one) Content Warnings: mentions of cravings and relapse, chan being a good friend (this was meant to be a filler but i got carried away) Previous Next Masterlist
The house is unusually quiet, and the absence of Minho, Hyunjin, Changbin, and Seungmin leaves a strange void that Hayun and Chan are doing their best to fill. Earlier, Chan had picked Hayun up after she’d texted him about cravings, not even hesitating.
Now, she’s perched on the edge of the bathroom counter, dumping out bags of supplies from the drugstore as Chan sits on a stool.
“You think I’ll look good with blue hair?” Chan asks, tilting his head as he examines his reflection in the mirror.
Hayun raises an eyebrow, sorting through bottles of bleach and toner. “I have it in writing from Jeongin a few months ago that if you ever dyed your hair blue, you’d get a blowjob every day.”
Chan’s eyes widen before he grins, settling himself more comfortably on the stool. “Fully sold. Even if it looks bad, I’m getting my dick sucked, so I win either way.”
Hayun snorts, shaking her head as she grabs a pair of gloves and pulls them on. “You’re the worst,” she mutters, but her lips twitch into a small smile.
Chan leans back, grinning. “Nah, I’m a fucking genius. Now, work your magic.”
Hayun grabs a comb, running it through his hair as she examines the strands. “Bleach, then tone, then dye. Sound good?”
“Sounds great,” Chan says, spinning the stool slightly before stopping when Hayun glares at him. “Alright, alright, I’ll sit still.”
She mixes the bleach in a small bowl, and her movements are practised and smooth. “Where did you learn to dye hair?” Chan asks, watching her curiously.
Hayun glances at him as she finishes mixing. “The foster home I was placed in when I was sixteen. Etta, sixty-five, covered in tattoos, and bright blue hair. She could’ve probably fought you if she wanted to.”
“Sounds badass,” Chan says, grinning. “Sixty-five and blue hair?”
“She had stories that could make a nun faint and a priest cry,” Hayun replies, her voice warm with fondness. “She taught me how to dye hair, though I go to a salon now. My entire career is in front of a camera, so it has to look good.”
“She sounds cool,” Chan says as Hayun begins to apply the bleach to his hair, sectioning it off methodically. “What happened to her?”
“She passed away a couple of years ago,” Hayun says softly, her focus on the strands of hair she’s coating. “Left me her house on Jeju Island. She didn’t have any kids, so I got everything.”
Chan hums thoughtfully. “Jeju, huh? Nice.”
“Felix, Jisung, Jeongin, and I talked about moving there after university,” Hayun says, stepping back to check her progress. “It was the plan for a while.”
“Still the plan?” Chan asks, tilting his head to look at her.
Hayun shrugs. “Now it’s complicated. You and Innie, Jisung and Hyunjin, me and Minho, Felix and Changbin.”
Chan blinks, his jaw dropping slightly. “Felix and Changbin?!”
Hayun laughs, setting the bowl down. “Well, Felix at least has a little crush on him.”
Chan leans back, crossing his arms. “Huh. Did not see that coming.”
“Really?” Hayun asks, raising an eyebrow. “Pretty Felix and big muscly Changbin? It’s a trope as old as time. Beauty and the Gym Beast.”
Chan snorts, shaking his head as he rests his hands on his thighs. “When you put it like that, I guess it makes sense.”
“Exactly,” Hayun says, smirking as she grabs another section of hair and begins applying the bleach. “It’s practically fate.”
Chan watches her in the mirror, his grin softening slightly. “You’re good at this, you know.”
“Yeah, well,” Hayun says, her voice quieter now, “Etta made sure I had skills to take care of myself.”
Chan doesn’t press further, sensing the shift in her mood. Instead, he changes the subject. “Alright, so how long am I sitting here looking like a science experiment?”
“About thirty minutes, maybe just a bit over because your hair is so dark,” Hayun replies, checking her phone for the timer she’s set. “We’ll tone it after. Then comes the blue.”
Chan leans back on the stool, stretching his legs out. “Thanks for this, Yunnie.”
“Don’t thank me yet,” Hayun says, shooting him a playful smirk. “You might end up looking like a Smurf.”
“Jeongin better keep his promise,” Chan mutters, earning a laugh from Hayun.
"Alright all done and the timer is set," Hayun says.
"Let's go downstairs," Chan says. "Order some food or something"
The pair of them head downstairs to the living room and Chan settles onto the couch, pulling out his phone to order takeout while Hayun flops beside him, tucking her legs under herself.
The late afternoon light filters through the curtains, casting a warm glow on the cosy chaos of their surroundings. Empty cups, random books, and an assortment of charging cables litter the coffee table, but neither of them seems to mind.
“Non-spicy ramen for us delicate souls,” Chan mutters as he scrolls through the menu. “And spicy ramen for the laughs.”
“You’re gonna regret that,” Hayun says, grinning as she grabs one of the wine bottles Chan grabbed and twists off the cap. She pours a generous amount into two mismatched mugs and hands one to Chan.
“Probably,” Chan agrees, clicking on his choices and finalizing the order. “But it’ll be worth it for the chaos.”
As Chan leans back, sipping his wine, Hayun studies him. “So, big-time producer and music artist, huh? One album with JYPE already, and you haven’t even graduated yet. What’s the plan for you and Changbin once you finish uni? You’re 2RACHA, right?”
Chan raises an eyebrow, smirking. “Yeah, that’s us. We’re working on another album right now. One of the terms of signing with JYPE was that we get to finish university like normal students. After that? National tour.”
Hayun perks up, her grin widening. “You could promote Felix, Jisung, and my podcast on the tour.”
Chan snorts, leaning his head back against the couch. “Done.”
“I was kidding,” Hayun says, laughing.
“I’m not,” Chan counters, sitting up straighter. His eyes light up like he’s piecing together a genius plan. “Wait! Big brain moment! JYPE could sponsor a few episodes of your podcast, right? Then Changbin and I can promote it on our socials.”
Hayun tilts her head, considering the idea. “I mean, it would be good publicity. We’d reach more listeners.”
“Exactly!” Chan exclaims, clearly excited by the idea. “You get a bigger audience, we get to look cool for supporting our friends, it’s a win-win.”
The doorbell rings, cutting off their brainstorming. “Food!” Chan announces, springing up and heading to the door. He returns moments later with bags of steaming takeout, the savoury aroma filling the room as he sets everything down on the coffee table.
They dig into their non-spicy ramen first, the warmth of the broth and noodles a comfort as they chat. Hayun hums happily as she eats, her face relaxed for the first time in what feels like days.
“Alright,” Chan says, pointing at the untouched bowls of spicy ramen. “This was supposed to be funny, but honestly? I’m terrified.”
Hayun nods solemnly, setting down her empty bowl. “Same. But we’ve come this far.”
With exaggerated bravery, they pick up their chopsticks, clinking them together like a toast. “Cheers to bad decisions,” Hayun declares, and they both dive in.
The first bite hits Hayun like a freight train. “Nope,” she gasps, immediately reaching for her wine. “Nope, nope, nope. I’m done.”
Chan, however, stubbornly keeps eating, his face turning red as tears prick at the corners of his eyes. “It’s fine,” he croaks, shovelling another bite into his mouth.
“Just stop eating!” Hayun exclaims, watching him in horror. “You’re going to die!”
“It’s a matter of pride,” Chan wheezes. “I can’t back down now.”
Hayun watches, half amused and half concerned, as Chan struggles through a few more bites before finally throwing down his chopsticks in defeat. He slumps back against the couch, fanning his face. “Holy shit.”
“Was it worth it?” Hayun asks, smirking.
Chan grins through his tears. “Absolutely not.”
“You’re insane,” Hayun says, shaking her head as she sips her wine.
Chan wipes his face with a napkin, grinning at her. “Takes one to know one.”
The shrill beep of the bleach timer pierces the air, cutting through the relaxed chatter in the living room. “Alright,” Hayun says, grabbing her half-empty wine bottle, “back upstairs. Let’s rinse this shit out before your scalp starts a rebellion.”
Chan groans theatrically but follows her, his own bottle of wine in hand. “If I lose all my hair, I’m suing you for emotional distress,” he teases as they ascend the stairs, Hayun rolling her eyes but grinning.
“Please. You’d look good bald,” she fires back, pushing open the bathroom door. “You’ve got the symmetrical bone structure for it.”
“Flattery won’t save you if this goes wrong,” Chan retorts, leaning his head over the edge of the bathtub as Hayun dons a pair of gloves.
She adjusts the showerhead, making sure the water is the perfect lukewarm temperature, and then starts rinsing out the bleach The water runs milky white, swirling down the drain, and Chan winces as it drips into his ear.
“Could you be less aggressive?” he grumbles.
“You’re such a baby,” Hayun laughs, using a towel to dab his face. “This is nothing compared to the spicy ramen.”
“Okay, fair,” Chan admits, though he winces as she massages his scalp. “But my pride is intact.”
“Yeah, yeah,” she mutters, finishing the rinse. “Alright, bleach out. Now, toner. Don’t move"
“Yes, ma’am,” Chan says, sitting as still as a statue while she applies the toner evenly. Once finished, she sets a timer, plopping down onto the bathroom floor beside him with her wine bottle in hand.
“Timer’s set. Now we wait,” Hayun says, taking a sip.
The door creaks open, and Minho leans against the frame, his sharp eyes scanning the scene. He’s holding a takeout container, chopsticks in one hand. “Hey, princess. What’re you doing here?”
“Avoiding a relapse. I had cravings, so I decided to dye Chan’s hair blue instead.”
Minho raises an eyebrow, glancing at Chan’s hair. “It’s not blue.”
“It’s a process, Min,” Hayun explains, gesturing with her wine bottle. “He had black hair. I had to bleach it, now we’re toning, and then we’ll do the blue. But honestly, Chan? You look good blonde.”
“Thank you,” Chan replies with mock solemnity, though his grin betrays him. “But Jeongin’s terms in that text to you were apparently very specific.”
Hayun snorts. “Oh, yes. Blue hair equals daily blowjobs. I didn’t make the rules.”
Minho smirks but doesn’t comment. Instead, he strides over to the closed toilet lid and sits down, digging into the spicy noodles in his container like it’s nothing. Both Hayun and Chan stare at him in disbelief.
“Wait,” Hayun says, pointing at the container. “Are those the spicy noodles from earlier? The ones that made Chan cry and nearly killed me?”
“Yeah,” Minho replies, completely unbothered as he shovels another bite into his mouth.
Chan stares at him like he’s witnessing a mythical creature. “How are you eating that without dying?”
“Because I’m not a coward,” Minho deadpans, smirking as he takes another bite.
Hayun rolls her eyes, muttering, “Show-off.”
They sit in companionable silence, the quiet hum of the timer and the faint smell of toner filling the bathroom. Minho sets the container aside, watching Chan and Hayun with mild amusement.
“How long will the dye be on once you apply it?” Chan asks, breaking the silence.
“Usually about thirty minutes,” Hayun replies. “But I’ll probably do it for twenty since we’ve already bleached and toned your hair. Don’t want to fry it completely.”
Chan nods, looking at himself in the mirror. “Cool. I trust you.”
“You better,” Hayun says, smirking as she leans back against the tub. She catches Minho watching her, his expression unreadable but soft, and a small smile tugs at her lips.
The timer finally goes off, and Hayun springs into action, rinsing out the toner. “Alright, Chan,” she says, “get ready to be a Jeongin-approved blue-haired hunk.”
Hayun hums quietly as she mixes the vibrant blue dye, her gloved hands precise. Chan leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees as Hayun starts applying the dye. He glances at Minho, who is still sitting on the toilet lid, casually devouring what they’ve now dubbed Satan’s Balls Ramen.
The sight is surreal, considering both Hayun and Chan were crying over the same dish earlier.
“This bitch,” Hayun mutters under her breath, dabbing dye onto Chan’s hair.
“Right?” Chan hums in agreement, side-eyeing Minho. They share a conspiratorial look, then both shake their heads dramatically.
Minho smirks at their antics, not even breaking stride as he takes another bite. “What? Jealous?” he teases, his tone dripping with amusement.
“Nah,” Chan deadpans, “it’s just because you don’t have a soul.”
Hayun snorts, nearly dropping the dye brush as she laughs. “Facts,” she agrees, turning to give Minho a pointed look.
Minho flips Chan off without hesitation, his other hand still holding the chopsticks. “Keep talking shit, just because you're a bitch with the spice tolerance of an infant.”
Chan gasps, clutching his chest theatrically. “Low blow, man. Low blow.”
As Hayun works, she pulls up a playlist and starts playing music on her phone. A soulful voice fills the bathroom, and Chan cocks his head, listening intently. “Who sings this?”
“Ben Barnes,” Hayun replies, focusing on getting the dye evenly distributed.
“Wait,” Chan says, his eyes narrowing as he processes the name. “Like, Prince Caspian Ben Barnes?”
Hayun grins, meeting his gaze. “Yep. My childhood love”
“Same!” Chan says, holding up his hand for a fist bump. Hayun obliges with a laugh.
Minho, however, looks completely lost. “Who the fuck is Prince Caspian?”
The room falls silent except for the music. Both Hayun and Chan turn to stare at Minho, their expressions a mix of shock and horror.
“Excuse me?” Hayun gasps, placing the dye bowl on the counter.
Chan points at Minho like he’s just declared war. “Narnia. Only one of the best movie trilogies of all time.”
Minho shrugs nonchalantly. “Never watched it.”
Chan whirls on Hayun. “Hayun, do not make him your boyfriend until he’s watched those movies.”
“Believe me,” Hayun says, crossing her arms dramatically, “I’m questioning even considering it after this.”
Minho blinks, completely taken aback. “What?!”
“How the fuck have you not watched Narnia?” Hayun demands, waving a hand for emphasis. “It’s a classic.”
Minho leans back, clearly exasperated. “It’s not a big thing in Korea! Chan was raised in Australia. Wait-” He turns to Hayun, his brows furrowing. “How did you watch it?”
“Etta,” Hayun explains, her voice softening slightly. “She was my last foster parent, and she was American-British. She made me watch all her favourite movies. Narnia was one of them.”
Minho rolls his eyes, gesturing at her as if to prove his point. “See? That’s why. It’s not cultural for us!”
Chan shakes his head, muttering, “Unacceptable.”
Hayun takes a sip of her wine, but before she can say anything, Chan drops another bombshell. “Oh, by the way, Minho, Hayun owns a house on Jeju Island.”
Minho’s jaw drops. “What?!”
Hayun shrugs casually, trying to downplay it. “Etta didn’t have kids. I was the closest thing, so when she passed, she left everything to me. Including the house.”
Minho stares at her, stunned. “You’re telling me you just casually have a house on Jeju Island, and I’m only finding this out now?”
Hayun raises an eyebrow. “I mean, we're always busy solving murders and now dealing with your spicy noodle supremacy complex. It didn’t come up.”
Minho shakes his head, muttering something under his breath about “outrageous,” while Chan sips his wine, watching the chaos with a satisfied smirk.
After a moment, Chan sets his bottle down and asks, “So, did you also have a crush on Aslan?”
Hayun pauses mid-sip, narrowing her eyes at him. “Yeah. Why?”
Minho looks utterly baffled. “Who the fuck is Aslan?”
Chan answers first, his tone completely deadpan. “The Jesus allegory lion.”
Minho looks between them, horrified. “You both had a crush on a lion?”
Hayun raises her glass. “First Gil the fish, now Aslan. My tastes are consistent.”
Chan laughs, holding up his hand for another fist bump. “Same. Oh, and animated Robin Hood.”
Hayun nearly chokes on her wine. “Yes! Me and Jisung were obsessed with him.”
Minho looks like he’s questioning every life decision he’s ever made. “The fox? You had a crush on the fox?”
“Obviously,” Chan says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
Hayun nods in agreement. “It’s like a rite of passage.”
Minho sighs, shaking his head. “You two are fucking weird,” he mutters, though the fondness in his tone is unmistakable.
As Chan leans back against the tub, sipping his wine, he says with a dramatic sigh, “You know who else was hot? Kovu from The Lion King 2.”
Hayun’s eyes light up as she points at him. “Oh my God, yes! Finally, someone else admits it.”
Chan grins and raises his bottle in a mock toast. “Kovu walked so all the bad boys in fiction could run.”
Hayun laughs and says, “You know who my one was? Thomas O'Malley from The Aristocats.”
Chan gasps, his expression pure delight. “Yes! Yes! The original cool cat.”
Minho, sitting on the toilet lid and polishing off the last of the spicy ramen, blinks at them. “Aristocats? What the fuck is Aristocats?”
Hayun freezes mid-sip, turning to him with wide eyes. “I cannot believe you of all people haven’t seen The Aristocats. Minho, it’s literally a movie about cats.”
Minho raises an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. “A movie about cats? Alright, we’re watching it.”
“Oh, we’re not just watching it,” Hayun says, wagging a finger at him. “We’re having a movie marathon, starting with that and all the other cinematic masterpieces you’ve missed.”
Chan smirks, swirling the wine in his bottle. “Honestly, Hayun, you need better potential boyfriends. Minho’s taste is trash.”
Minho immediately sits up, offended. “Yah! The disrespect is unbelievable. I’m a romantic! I’ve taken her on dates! I’ve cooked for her! I even risked my life trying to teach her how to drive.”
Chan doesn’t even flinch. “Yeah, but you haven’t seen The Aristocats or the Narnia movies, so-”
Hayun hums in agreement, raising her wine bottle. “He makes a valid point.”
Minho groans, throwing his head back against the wall. “The slander I endure in this house.”
“Honestly,” Hayun says, leaning forward as if sharing a secret, “it’s your fault. Have better taste in movies. Have you at least seen Harry Potter?”
Minho stares at her blankly. “No.”
The bathroom goes so silent, it feels like time itself pauses. Hayun’s jaw drops as Chan looks genuinely concerned. “You… what?”
Minho looks between them, defensive. “What?!”
Chan waves his hand dramatically, as if trying to process this revelation. “You cannot blame that on being raised in Korea. Harry Potter is a global phenomenon. Global!”
Hayun slams her wine bottle on the counter, gesturing wildly. “I don’t think I can make you my boyfriend after this.”
Minho glares, crossing his arms. “You know what? I’m tired of this slander. We’re watching all the shitty Disney movies, the movies with the sexy lion, and Harry Potter.”
“Duchess,” Chan says with a smirk, leaning toward Hayun. “He’ll 100% find Duchess hot.”
“Didn’t we all?” Hayun replies with a grin.
Chan nods solemnly. “Some things transcend species.”
Minho throws up his hands. “What the fuck is wrong with the two of you? You’re really out here having crushes on animated animals.”
“Oh, don’t act so high and mighty,” Chan says, pointing his bottle at Minho. “By the end of The Aristocats, you’re gonna be head over heels for Duchess.”
Minho shakes his head, clearly exasperated. “Whatever. Who the fuck is Duchess?”
Hayun just giggles, taking another sip of her wine and Chan suddenly changes gears, looking at Hayun thoughtfully. “Hey, what house are you? Like, Hogwarts?”
“Oh!” Hayun sets her wine down, thinking. “I got Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff when I took the quizzes.”
Chan nods. “Yeah, that tracks. What about me? What do you reckon I am?”
“Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. Easy,” Hayun says, and Chan grins.
“What about Minho?” Chan asks, glancing at him.
“Slytherin,” Hayun says immediately.
Minho furrows his brows. “What the fuck is a Slytherin?”
Both Chan and Hayun whip their heads toward him, their expressions full of shock and horror.
Chan clutches his chest as if he’s been stabbed. “You don’t know what Slytherin is?”
“Or Hufflepuff? Gryffindor? Ravenclaw?” Hayun asks, her voice climbing an octave.
Minho shrugs. “Nope.”
Hayun looks at Chan, genuinely distressed. “We’re raising him from the ground up. He doesn’t even know the basics.”
Chan nods seriously. “He needs a full cultural education. Starting immediately.”
Minho groans, leaning back against the wall. “I regret asking.”
Hayun grabs her wine and raises it in a toast. “To fixing Minho.”
Chan joins in, clinking his bottle against hers. “To fixing Minho.”
Minho just shakes his head, muttering, “You’re both insane,” but the fond smile tugging at his lips betrays him.
Once Chan’s hair is dyed, dried, and styled into its new vibrant blue glory, the trio descends to the living room. Chan walks in first, a hand theatrically ruffling his hair as he announces, “Tonight, we’re doing The Aristocats and Narnia. Minho is not ready for Harry Potter yet.”
Hayun follows, snorting into her wine bottle as she flops onto the couch. “Agreed. Muggles need slow introductions.”
Minho groans, falling onto the couch beside her. “What the fuck is a muggle?”
Both Hayun and Chan groan loudly, in unison.
Chan points at him accusingly. “This is why you’re not ready. You need to ease into the magical world before we bombard you with Hogwarts lore.”
Hayun hums in agreement, taking a long sip of her wine. “Baby steps, Min. Baby steps.”
Minho glares between them. “I feel attacked.”
Chan tosses Minho a wine bottle and then settles on the other side of Hayun. Minho, without thinking, pulls Hayun into his side, his arm casually draped around her shoulders. Hayun leans into him, her cheek resting against his chest.
Chan pulls up Disney+ and searches for The Aristocats. “Let’s start with the basics. This is culture.”
As the opening credits roll, Minho leans forward slightly, watching the screen with uncharacteristic focus. “Why has no one shown me this movie before? What the fuck?”
Chan looks affronted. “Honestly? Me, Changbin, Hyunjin, Seungmin, and Jeongin assumed you watched it all the time. You’re literally a cat person.”
Minho rolls his eyes. “And none of you thought to check? Great friends.”
Chan raises his wine. “Cheers to our mediocrity.”
The film starts, and Minho immediately begins commenting. “Why do these cats have a butler? Are they royalty or some shit?”
“They’re rich,” Hayun explains. “French, fancy, and filthy rich.”
Minho watches in silence for another moment before blurting out, “Wait. Edgar wants to kidnap them because they’re in the will? How does a cat get a will? What court accepted that shit?”
Hayun shrugs. “Rich people nonsense. Suspend disbelief.”
“I am trying, but this is wild,” Minho says, taking a long gulp from his wine.
The movie continues, and when the geese and their drunk uncle make their appearance, Minho leans forward, pointing at the screen. “These geese are fucking hilarious. Why is that one drunk? What are they even doing?”
“They’re just living their best lives,” Chan says, nodding in approval. “Be the goose, Minho.”
Minho grins. “Be the goose. Noted.”
As the plot unfolds, Minho’s running commentary only gets worse. “Okay, wait. Why did they make Duchess a sexy cat? This is ridiculous. She has no business being that elegant.”
Chan throws his head back, laughing so hard he almost spills his wine. “I knew you’d find her hot! Welcome to the crushes on Animated Animals club.”
“Do I get a badge?” Minho deadpans.
“Absolutely,” Hayun says, patting his chest mock-seriously. “You’re one of us now.”
The iconic “Everybody Wants to Be a Cat” number begins, and Minho sits up straighter. “This... this is a masterpiece.”
Hayun grins at his enthusiasm. “Told you.”
Minho turns to Chan with mock outrage. “Bang Christopher Chan, you failed me as a friend by not showing me this movie earlier.”
Chan throws his hands up. “Don’t blame me! Hayun didn’t show it to you either.”
Minho waves him off dismissively. “She’s pretty. She’s in the clear. You’ve known me for three years, Chan. Three fucking years.”
As the movie concludes, Minho leans back with a satisfied sigh. “Alright. Aristocats was a masterpiece. Duchess is hot. The geese are iconic. I can’t believe I missed out on this for 20 years.”
Chan claps him on the shoulder. “You’re welcome for introducing you to culture.”
Hayun just leans into Minho’s side, her voice a playful murmur. “One down. Now we just have to get you through Narnia, Harry Potter, and literally every other childhood staple you’ve somehow missed.”
Minho smirks, planting a light kiss on the top of her head. “You’re really committed to this, huh?”
“Oh, absolutely,” Hayun says. “We’re fixing you, Lee Minho, one masterpiece at a time.”
As the opening credits of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe roll, Minho leans forward, wine bottle balanced precariously between his fingers. “So this is Narnia, huh? Why’s the title so long? Feels like I’m about to read a Victorian novel.”
Chan waves him off without looking. “It’s a fucking classic, Minho. Show some respect.”
Hayun smirks, snuggling further into Minho’s side. “Oh, you’re not ready. Lions, witches, wardrobes. Your brain’s about to implode from the sheer whimsy.”
Minho raises an eyebrow, taking a sip of wine. “Sounds like a weird acid trip. Fine, let’s see where this goes.”
The movie begins, and within five minutes, Minho is already ranting. “Wait, hold the fuck up. Who just sends their kids off to live with some random ass professor in the middle of nowhere? I get it’s wartime, but this is peak bad parenting.”
Chan, already invested in the film, sighs. “Historical context, Minho. Bombings. Air raids. You ever heard of those?”
Minho waves the bottle in Chan’s direction. “Yeah, I get it, but what if this professor’s a serial killer? Or worse, like, one of those dudes who collects dolls?”
Hayun laughs, patting Minho’s thigh. “Relax. It’s a children’s movie. No murderous doll collectors here.”
Minho points at the screen as Lucy discovers the wardrobe and steps inside. “Oh, so we’re just walking into random closets now? No hesitation? What if it’s cursed? What if it’s a demon portal?”
Hayun grins, taking a sip of wine. “It’s magic. Suspension of disbelief.”
Minho scoffs, his gaze fixed on the TV. “I can suspend disbelief, but I can’t suspend common sense.”
Then Mr. Tumnus appears, and Minho visibly tenses. “What the fuck is that? A goat man? She’s just chilling with a fucking goat man? No ‘stranger danger’ alarm bells ringing?”
Chan laughs, shaking his head. “He’s harmless. He’s a faun.”
“Harmless? He’s got hooves and horns. That’s demon vibes,” Minho retorts, gesturing emphatically with the wine bottle. “Lucy’s about to get sacrificed.”
By the time Edmund enters Narnia and meets the White Witch, Minho is clutching a throw pillow, his expression incredulous. “Oh, here we go. This little shit. Look at him, following the first lady he meets. And for what? Fucking candy? He betrays his siblings for Turkish Delight? If you’re going to sell out your family, at least do it for power or cash. Not powdered sugar. Turkish Delight isn't even that good, the fuck?”
The chaos ramps up when Aslan makes his grand entrance. Chan sighs dreamily, his head resting against the couch. “Look at him. Absolute king shit.”
Hayun nods in agreement, her eyes fixed on the screen. “Majestic. So noble.”
Minho stares at them, horrified. “You’re both drooling over a fucking CGI lion. What’s wrong with you?”
Hayun shrugs, unbothered. “He’s got a commanding presence. It’s attractive.”
Chan grins. “Big dick energy, for real.”
Minho groans, running a hand down his face. “This is why aliens don’t visit Earth. People like you two would try to fuck them”
As the battle begins, Minho sits up straighter, his attention caught by the mythical creatures charging across the battlefield. His focus narrows on a minotaur wielding a massive axe. “Holy shit. That’s a minotaur. That’s kind of cool.”
Chan tilts his head thoughtfully. “You know, I think I’d fuck a minotaur.”
Hayun hums in agreement, swirling her wine. “Yeah, they’re hot in a primal, dangerous way.”
Minho nearly chokes on his wine, coughing as he gapes at them. “What the actual fuck is wrong with you?”
“Have you seen their muscles?” Chan argues, grinning. “Pure strength. It’s appealing.”
Hayun smirks, leaning into Minho’s side. “Don’t knock it till you try it.”
Minho shakes his head, staring at her. “If you ever try it, I’m throwing you into a wardrobe and locking it.”
By the end of the movie, Minho looks equal parts emotionally drained and begrudgingly entertained. He leans back against the couch, finishing off his wine. “Alright, Narnia was interesting. But Edmund still deserves more hate.”
Chan clinks his bottle against Hayun’s with a smirk. “Cheers to exposing Minho to culture.”
Hayun laughs, raising her glass. “Cheers to Turkish Delight and bad decisions.”
Minho groans, running a hand through his hair. “I can’t believe you two lusted after a lion and a minotaur. I’m reevaluating this entire friend group.”
Hayun leans her head on his shoulder, smirking. “Admit it. You had fun.”
Minho lets out a long-suffering sigh, but the small smile on his lips betrays him. “Fine. But if anyone asks, I’m telling them I was forced to watch this under duress.”
The living room is a chaotic symphony of wine bottles clinking, popcorn flying, and heated banter as Prince Caspian begins. Minho lounges back on the couch, legs sprawled out like he owns the place, a half-empty wine bottle in hand. The moment Ben Barnes’ face graces the screen as Caspian, chaos erupts.
Hayun and Chan lean forward in unison, their eyes glued to the TV, reverent awe practically radiating off them.
“Oh, hell no,” Minho mutters, grabbing Hayun’s hoodie and gently tugging her back. “Sit your ass down, princess.”
Hayun swats at his hand like an annoyed cat. “Let me live, Minho! It’s Ben Barnes. He’s glowing. Look at that jawline!”
“Unbelievable,” Minho mutters, narrowing his eyes at the screen. “He’s not that impressive.”
Chan smirks, leaning back with his wine glass. “Let her have this, man. It’s Prince Caspian. A once-in-a-generation crush.”
Minho points his wine bottle at Chan. “Once in a generation, my ass. Every generation has a pretty boy with floppy hair. You’re all just easily distracted.”
Hayun gasps dramatically, clutching her chest. “You’re jealous.”
Minho raises an eyebrow, his tone dripping with mock offence. “Jealous? Of him? A dude with an accent so inconsistent it’s a linguistic mystery? Sure. Totally.”
Hayun smirks, leaning closer to him. “You’d kill for his hair.”
Minho scoffs, flipping his own hair with exaggerated flair. “Please. My hair’s better. Caspian wishes.”
On screen, the Pevensies are pulled back into Narnia. As they wander through the ruins of Cair Paravel, Minho sits up slightly, already forming an opinion. “Hold the fuck on. They’ve been gone for what, a year? And the whole place is trashed? Narnia’s got the lifespan of a fruit fly.”
Hayun laughs, curling her legs under her. “Time moves differently there. That’s the whole point.”
Minho gestures wildly at the TV. “Differently how? If I go take a piss and come back, is Narnia gonna be a post-apocalyptic wasteland? What’s the conversion rate?”
“Depends on who’s running it,” Chan says, sipping his wine. “Clearly, these kids weren’t exactly stellar rulers.”
“Edmund’s fault,” Minho says immediately, crossing his arms. “Always Edmund.”
When Edmund actually makes a smart decision for once, Minho groans. “Fine. He didn’t fuck up this time. But I’m not apologizing for doubting him.”
As Prince Caspian speaks, Minho squints at the screen. “What the fuck is this accent? I've been trying to figure it out. Is he supposed to be Spanish? Italian? What is this supposed to be?”
“Exotic and dreamy,” Hayun replies without hesitation, her eyes fixed on the screen.
Minho tugs her back again by her hoodie. “Stop drooling. You’re embarrassing me.”
“And you’re jealous,” Hayun shoots back, grinning.
Minho rolls his eyes. “Of a guy who sounds like he learned European languages on Duolingo? Absolutely not.”
The battle sequences begin, and Minho’s commentary only escalates. When the centaurs charge, his tone shifts. “Okay, this is fucking cool. The centaurs are badass. And the minotaurs? Fucking terrifying. They better win this.”
“You’ve changed your tune,” Hayun teases. “Didn’t you hate them last movie?”
Minho shrugs, his eyes glued to the screen. “Last movie, they were just standing around being noble. Now they’re stabbing shit. Huge improvement.”
The group bursts into laughter, the wine making everything seem twice as funny. When Susan and Caspian share a charged moment, Minho groans audibly.
“Oh, here we fucking go. The doomed love story,” he says, flopping dramatically back into the couch.
“Let them have this!” Hayun protests, throwing a handful of popcorn at him.
“Nope,” Minho says, catching a piece midair and popping it into his mouth. “It’s illegal. She’s from Earth. He’s from wherever the fuck this place is. Interdimensional dating doesn’t work.”
As the climax nears and Aslan finally shows up again, Minho lets out a long-suffering sigh. “Of course. Lion Jesus comes to save the day. What a shocker.”
Hayun gasps, throwing another handful of popcorn. “Show some respect! He’s majestic.”
Chan nods solemnly. “He’s a literal god, Minho.”
Minho groans. “God? He’s just a lion with good PR.”
When the movie ends and Susan and Peter say their goodbyes, Minho sits up, frowning. “Wait. They’re just banned? Kicked out? What the fuck? Why?”
“They’ve outgrown Narnia,” Chan says, his tone almost wistful.
“Outgrown it?” Minho scoffs, setting his wine bottle down. “Sounds like Aslan’s just petty. What’s next? A loyalty test? Is there a Narnian HR department?”
Hayun laughs so hard she nearly spills her wine. “Minho, you’re ridiculous.”
Chan grins, already pulling up The Voyage of the Dawn Treader on the TV. “I can’t fucking wait to see how you react to the next one.”
Minho groans but doesn’t look away from the screen. “If Edmund’s still in it, I’m gonna need more wine to deal with Narnia: The Bullshit Chronicles"
As the opening credits of The Voyage of the Dawn Treader roll, the familiar orchestral swell of music fills the room.
The moment Eustace appears, Minho grimaces, setting his bottle down with a thud. “Who the fuck is this little shit?”
“That,” Hayun says, a grin spreading across her face, “is Eustace. You’re gonna hate him.”
“Gonna hate him?” Minho scoffs, leaning forward to point at the screen. “Look at his face. I already do. He’s got that I-remind-the-teacher-about-homework energy. And that name? Eustace? What the fuck kind of name is that?”
Chan chuckles from his spot on the couch, swirling his wine lazily. “It's a 1940s England name. Just wait. He’s unbearable at first, but he has a solid redemption arc.”
Minho doesn’t look convinced. “Redemption? If by redemption you mean he annoys me slightly less by the end, sure. But right now? Someone throw him overboard. Please.”
The movie progresses, and Eustace’s constant whining tests Minho’s patience to its limits. “I swear to God,” he growls, slumping back into the couch, “if this little shit doesn’t fall off the ship at least once, I’m asking for a refund.”
Hayun laughs, snuggling deeper into Minho’s side. “Keep watching. You’ll see.”
As Edmund exists on the screen, Minho groans loudly. “Oh, here we go. Fucking Edmund. What’s he gonna screw up this time?”
“Hey!” Hayun defends. “He’s grown. He’s not the same Edmund anymore.”
Minho side-eyes her, unimpressed. “Grown? Sure. But the bar for that kid was so low it was buried under Narnia itself.”
Chan nearly chokes on his wine, coughing out a laugh. “That’s harsh.”
“It’s honest,” Minho counters, taking a sip. “Let’s see if he proves me wrong. Spoiler: he won’t.”
Each time, Caspian appears, the room collectively sighs, but for different reasons. Hayun and Chan lean forward, eyes glued to the screen, dreamy smiles plastered across their faces.
“Oh, hell no,” Minho says, grabbing the back of Hayun’s hoodie and gently tugging her back. “None of that. Sit the fuck down, princess.”
“But it’s Ben Barnes!” Hayun protests, pouting. “Look at him. He’s majestic.”
Minho narrows his eyes. “Majestic? He looks like he’s been locked in a dungeon all winter. Wasn’t he bronzed and glowing last movie? What happened? Did Narnia run out of sun?”
Chan bursts out laughing. “Dude, you’re not wrong. He does look a bit... pale.”
“Continuity, people. Fucking continuity,” Minho mutters, shaking his head.
As the ship sets sail, Minho finally shuts up, momentarily entranced by the visuals. But the peace is short-lived. When Reepicheep makes his grand entrance, Minho’s eyes light up.
“Finally!” he exclaims, sitting up straighter. “A character who doesn’t piss me off. Reepicheep is fucking cool. Look at him go.”
“Everyone loves Reepicheep,” Hayun agrees, smiling.
“Well, they should,” Minho says. “He’s the only one who consistently has his shit together.”
Things take a turn for the absurd when Lucy encounters the magical house and the invisible monopod creatures. Minho stares at the screen, baffled. “What the actual fuck is this? Why are there tiny, one-legged men kidnapping her? Who wrote this shit?”
“It’s in the book,” Hayun explains.
Minho points his wine bottle at her. “Just because it’s in the book doesn’t make it any less fucking weird. This whole house situation? Makes no sense. The people? No sense. The plot? Absolutely no fucking sense.”
Hayun just laughs, letting Minho spiral.
When the final climactic scenes roll around, Minho is surprisingly silent, leaning forward as the tension builds. But when the film concludes with Lucy and Edmund saying goodbye to Aslan, he frowns deeply, his expression darkening.
“Hold the fuck up,” he says, leaning forward. “So now Lucy and Edmund are banned too? What is this, a Narnian eviction notice? Do they just kick you out for growing up?”
“It’s bittersweet,” Chan says, his tone soft and nostalgic. “They’re moving on.”
“Moving on?!” Minho explodes, gesturing wildly. “They’re fucking kids! You don’t just banish them because they hit puberty. What’s next? A loyalty test? Does Aslan send them a fucking survey asking how much they love him before he decides who stays?”
Hayun laughs so hard she almost spills her wine. “It’s symbolic, Min. Let it go.”
“I will not let it go,” Minho declares, crossing his arms. “Is there another movie?”
Chan shakes his head, looking amused. “Nope. This was the last one.”
Minho’s jaw drops. “What?! Why? There’s so much more they could do! They could—” He stops mid-rant, turning to Hayun. “Wait. What happens in the books?”
Hayun hesitates. “You really wanna know?”
“Yes,” Minho says, exasperated. “Spill.”
Hayun sighs, setting her wine down. “Okay, so... Susan stops believing in Narnia.”
“Of course she does,”
“Let me finish,” Hayun says, taking a deep dramatic breath as Minho looks at her with wide, expectant eyes. “And then Edmund, Lucy, and Peter all die in a train crash.”
The room falls silent. Minho stares at her, his face a perfect picture of disbelief. “I’m sorry, what?”
“They die,” Hayun repeats. “And they go to Narnia, but it’s, like, heaven or something.”
Minho sets his wine bottle down carefully, as though afraid he might break it in his rage. “Are you fucking kidding me? This is a kid’s book series! They end it with a train crash and eternal limbo? What the actual fuck?”
Chan nods solemnly. “C.S. Lewis was something else.”
Minho throws his hands in the air. “That’s the darkest shit I’ve ever heard. And this was marketed to children? No wonder the world’s so fucked up.”
Hayun pats his arm, trying to suppress her laughter. “Congrats, Min. You survived three Narnia movies. You’re one of us now.”
Minho leans back into the couch, shaking his head in disbelief. “I don’t know if I should be proud or start booking therapy.”
Hayun grins, resting her head on his shoulder. “You’re gonna be fine, drama queen.”
“Fine?” Minho mutters, glaring at the now-blank screen. “I’ll never be fine again. Fucking Narnia, man.”
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I Can Take Care Of Myself
Summary: Melissa falls and clearly injures herself. She insists she's fine.
WC: ~3.7k
Melissa falls at work today, because of course she does. It isn’t the best morning to begin with- and that only puts the cherry on top to prove to the two of you that today is going to be an absolute living hell.
It all starts when you wake up with half a voice and feeling like a truck hit you. Still though, you persist and insist that you’re well enough to go to school- calling out isn’t an option at this point. The substitute situation is, in the fine words of Mr. Johnson, absolute trash. You’re not about to subject your grade level partners to another ten kids in their class for the day when you can still teach- just maybe not to the degree that your students have become accustomed to.
“Hun, I’m fine,” you croak out as you force yourself to peel your eyes open.
Melissa frowns. “It’s clear you aren’t. You look like you crawled out of the seventh layer of hell.”
“Wow,” you scoff. “I love you too.”
Green eyes are rolled. “You know I’m saying that with all of the love in my heart, mi amore… I just don’t want you to strain yourself more than you have to. I can handle your sub plans and take on some of your kids.”
“I’m fine,” you mumble as your eyes slip closed again. “Just give me five more minutes, and then I’ll get up.”
“Y/N,” your girlfriend says sternly.
“I’m fine,” you grumble. “Just gonna need some extra coffee today.”
Somehow, miraculously, you get out of the house on time- having not put on makeup today. You’re able to stop for coffee before you head to work, and then you’re walking in with the usual crew. They can all clearly see that you aren’t feeling well, but at your glare, they silence themselves. Chatter continues on like it normally does with your friends. And then Melissa trips and she hits the ground- hard.
You gasp and reach out a hand to help her up, worried that she’s more injured than she’s playing off. “Hun?”
“I’m fine!” the redhead jumps right up. “Coffee didn’t even spill.”
You look to your friends with a stunned look- how could she be okay? But then she’s limping her way up the steps to the school, and you sigh. She isn’t fine- nowhere near fine.
“Has she always limped like that?” Janine asks the group.
“No. No she has not,” you grumble under your breath as you head in behind your girlfriend.
She’s still limping down the hall with all of her things when you catch up to her.
“Hun,” you just barely manage to get out before you break into a bit of a coughing fit. Still, you grab her bags and loop an arm around her waist to help steady her.
The redhead shrugs you off and continues to hobble her way down the halls towards her classroom. “I’m fine. It’s you who isn’t.”
“Babe,” you shake your head. “You took a tumble, and it’s clear you’re hurting.”
“Ain’t the first time,” Melissa replies. “Won’t be the last.”
“At least let me look at your ankle when we get inside?” you ask as you stop in front of her door.
Green eyes glance to you for a second, and she can tell that you’re truly concerned about her. “Y/N.”
“Please,” you sigh. “I’m worried with the way you’re limping.”
The breath that she lets out tells you that she’s annoyed, but she relents. “If I say yes, will you get off my back?”
You raise brow at the attitude, but you cut your losses and nod. As soon as she’s in her classroom and settled to a certain degree, she’ll falling into her chair with a groan. You feel bad, but you have to unlace her boot and pull it off of her foot. It hurts your heart to hear the way that she hisses in pain at the action.
“I’m sorry,” you croak out. You peel her sock off, and you can immediately see that her ankle is swollen at least double the size what it’s supposed to be. “Hun, you need to go to the doctor.”
“There ain’t no damned way that’s happening.”
You look to your girlfriend with a deep sigh. “Lissa.”
“I’m not going,” the redhead stands her ground.
“It’s already swollen,” you tell her. You prod around the area and when she nearly shouts in pain, you just gesture to it pointedly.
“It’ll heal up in no time.”
“At least let me get you ice,” you request softly.
“I can get it,” Melissa tells you as she goes to pull her sock back on. She halts her motion though when she feels the pain flare up again.
“Melissa, now is not the time to be stubborn,” you grumble out as you turn on your heel to get ice from the staff room. By the time that you fill a couple of bags with ice, brew another two cups of coffee, and return down to the redhead’s classroom, she’s grunting and groaning trying to get her shoe on.
“Melissa Schemmenti, stop being so damn stubborn, and just accept my help,” you rasp out as you pull her shoe off again, ignoring the way she winces. “Shouldn’t have tried to put it back on when I told you I would get it for you myself.”
“An’ I told you I’d be fine. I should be the one takin’ care of you,” Melissa spits out. “This is fuckin’ ridiculous.” And then she gasps at the cool sensation on her foot.
“Twenty minutes,” you tell her sternly. “I don’t want to see you up and moving today. You can teach from your chair.”
“But-”
“Melissa,” you grit through your teeth. “I know you don’t want help or to admit that it hurts, but I’m seriously concerned. So, if you aren’t going to do this for yourself, will you at least do it for me?”
The pleading look in your eyes, along with the strained voice, finally get her to quit fighting you. “Fine. But when we get home, I’m taking care of you.”
You roll your eyes but lean in to kiss her temple. You make your way out, having to prepare a few things for your own classroom. As you’re leaving, you mumble under your breath, “That’s if we aren’t at the hospital for your damned ankle.”
Come lunch time, you line your kids up and march them down the hall to your girlfriend’s room. She’s still sitting in her chair, one shoe off, but she looks pissed beyond hell.
“I’ll take your kids down, grab our lunches, and then I’ll meet you back here?”
“I can come down to the staff-” she pauses briefly at your glare. “I’m coming down. But if you wouldn’t mind taking my class down to the cafeteria?”
“Fine.” You’ll take what you can get.
By the time that you’ve dropped all of the kids off in the lunch room and ensured that they have a plan for lunch, Melissa has hopped about halfway down the hallway.
“You’re ridiculous,” you sigh as you catch up with your girlfriend easily.
Green eyes are rolled, and she huffs and groans as she continues down towards the staffroom. You simply loop your arm around her waist again.
“Can you put any pressure on it?” you ask.
“Enough.” She steps on it, but you see the massive amount of pain she is in when she does.
You quirk your lips to one side, but you don’t say anything. Instead, you help guide her to a chair before pulling your lunches out of the fridge and setting it down in front of her. You pluck her mug from her hand and refill it with another helping of coffee, spoon the sugar out for her, and get the creamer for her.
“Thanks,” she kisses your cheek gently.
You manage to get her to ice her injury again without much of a fight.
The rest of the day passes by just fine, and come the end of the day, you’re both standing outside dismissing your kids. You can see the way that she’s favoring her one side though and how she’s smiling through the pain. Honestly, you’re surprised she even managed to get her shoe back on, much less make her way outside.
But then the bell rings to signify that teachers can leave, and you watch her grunt and groan her way to the car.
“Let me drive,” you try to convince her.
She waves you off. “I can drive.”
The entire drive home, you can see in her face just how much she’s trying to suppress her pain. You don’t say anything though- hopefully she learned her lesson after today’s drive back home.
She leans over the middle console once she’s put the car in park and kisses you softly.
“Don’t kiss me,” you rasp out. “I don’t want you to get sick.”
“I have the immune system of a bull,” your girlfriend tells you, and then she plants another one you. “I just… thank you for trying to take care of me today. But I promise you, I’m fine. I should be the one taking care of you right now.”
She presses her forehead against yours, only to frown as she pulls away. “You’re burning up.”
“I’ll be okay,” you mutter. “Just goin’ to be an early night tonight.”
It is an early night for you. Practically right after dinner, you practically drag your exhausted body up the steps and crawl into bed.
You expect the redhead to make her way up not shortly after you, but she doesn’t. You resort to texting her.
Are you coming to bed?
I will, is the response you get. Just catching up on the Bachelor, and then I’ll be up. Get some sleep though, hun.
Okay, you type back. Goodnight. I love you.
I love you too.
Melissa doesn’t make her way up the steps that night. She can hardly manage to get comfortable on the couch with her ankle throbbing the way it is, and she doesn’t think she could manage the way that your legs always tangle together in sleep right now.
You hardly notice that she isn’t laying there next to you, sound asleep after taking some NyQuil to help your own symptoms.
But come the next morning, you realize that you aren’t waking up in her arms like you usually would.
“Mel?” you attempt to get out. You curse silently when all that comes out of your mouth is air.
You hear her groan from downstairs, and then you hear that familiar sound of a body being peeled off of the plastic covered couch. With a soft sigh, you begin to prepare yourself for the next day of school. You hear the grunts coming from your girlfriend downstairs as she attempts to get herself up the steps to get ready for work herself.
“Hey gorgeous,” you hear her low morning voice as you feel her warm arms wrap their way around your midsection. She presses a kiss to your cheek. “How are you feeling?”
You shrug before pointing to her with raised eyebrows.
“No voice still?” the redhead asks, and you shake your head before gesturing to her again. “Hurts a little, but it ain’t nothin’ I can’t handle.”
You give her a look of disbelief, but she just kisses you again and smiles as she reaches for her own toothbrush.
Of course, she insists on driving again. Walking into the school takes longer than usual for your girlfriend, her limp more apparent than it was yesterday. She really can’t put any pressure on her ankle without gasping in pain.
She plops herself into a seat before attempting to con any of the other people in your friend group to make the two of you coffee.
Janine, of course it’s Janine, tells the redhead that it’s clear that she’s worse than she was yesterday and that her ankle needs medical attention.
Your girlfriend, in true Schemmenti fashion, argues that. And then Gregory is telling her that what she rhetorically asked is exactly what a doctor would do for.
“Hun,” you rasp out. “You couldn’t even make it up to bed last night.”
“I fell asleep watching Housewives, Y/N,” Melissa sighs as she runs the pad of her thumb over your knuckles. “Jeez.”
That day after school, you’re laying on the couch with your eyes half closed. God, whatever you have is really throwing you for a loop. But you can’t let yourself fall asleep because you’ve vowed to yourself that if your injured girlfriend needs help, you will be the one to help her.
She only continues to shrug off your offers to help, claiming that she can do it all herself. That is, until you practically force her to sit down on the couch next to you with a pack of ice. You lift her leg and set it up on the coffee table with a pillow propped under it. And then you gently lay the ice down. She gasps at the sensation, and then her eyes darken.
“Y/N,” she kicks the ice away. “I said I’m fine. I said I’m the one taking care of you tonight. Can you just- quit it?”
“I won’t ‘just quit it’, Melissa. It’s clear that you’re hurt, and I really should be taking you to the hospital for your ankle.”
“Jesus Christ,” your girlfriend mumbles. “Leave me alone about it. Hun, I’m fine. I promise you- it’s just going to be sore for the next couple of days, and then I’ll be right as rain. Just, trust me?”
“Fine,” you scoff. “If you want me to leave you alone, then I will.”
You make your way up the steps and lay in bed, saddened by your girlfriend’s words. You’re drifting in and out of sleep when she comes in and kisses your head softly. “I love you.”
You sigh softly. “If it isn’t better by tomorrow, we’re going to the doctor.”
“Sure,” Melissa huffs. Then she softens. “Why don’t you take a nap, mi amore? I know you’re tired.”
You finally give in and give your body what it wants- rest, full rest. You don’t wake up until the next morning when your alarm is going off on your phone.
While you’re asleep though, Melissa thinks. She really doesn’t want to go to the doctor, but her ankle isn’t getting any better. If anything, it’s getting worse. So, she has to take drastic measures. She manages to hop her way to the medicine cabinet and begins to rifle through it. Painkillers- nice. Are they expired? Yes. Does she care? No. She pockets them before laying back down on the couch with you and pulling you into her arms, kissing your head softly.
The next morning, it seems as though Melissa has done a 180. She’s walking around just fine, she’s in a much better mood, and there hasn’t been a complaint out of her mouth about the pain that she was in just yesterday.
“See?” Your girlfriend’s eyes sparkle as she cooks you breakfast. “I told you: I’m right as rain now, aren’t I babe?”
You just roll your eyes and kiss her cheek. “Okay, hun.” Oh thank God- you’re voice is at least somewhat back to normal.
She dances into the school and into the staffroom while you head off towards the bathroom, and your friend group is just as surprised as you were this morning to see how much better the redhead is feeling.
You’re walking into the staffroom just as your girlfriend admits that she found some painkillers at the house, and you practically jump to grab the bottle out of her hands.
“Those are mine.” You then continue to read the label.
“Melissa!” Barbara cuts in and grabs the bottle. She looks at the expiration date. “These are way passed expired!”
The redhead just waves a hand in dismissal, claiming that they still do the trick if you just double up on them. Before she can get another word out about how she’s feeling good, you have to leave. You storm out of the room, not caring that the door slams behind you. Your group of friends can hear your shoes hitting the linoleum tile with more force than usual.
“What the hell was that?” Barbara asks quietly.
Even in her high stupor, Melissa knows- you’re mad that she would stoop to such a level. “She’s pissed… I- I need to go see the nurse.”
You’re enraged that your girlfriend would go as low to taking expired painkillers- ones that weren’t even hers to begin with. And then you’re more upset with yourself for not having thrown them out. After what feels like forever, you know that you have to get ahold of your emotions. You’re students will be walking in soon, and you can’t be this upset when they come in.
You take a deep breath, shake your hands out, and put that practiced smile on your face like you’ve had to do so many times before. The bell to allow the children to start making their way down to the classrooms chimes, and your brow furrows slightly. You hadn’t heard your girlfriend make her way down the hallway, which is odd; you can always hear her heeled boots.
Quietly, you make your way out of your classroom and into the hallway, standing where you can see the redhead’s room nicely. She’s sitting at her desk, body turned to face the doorway… and she isn’t wearing her boots? She doesn’t even have a shoe on her injured foot. It’s actually elevated with ice resting on it.
“What the fuck?” you mutter to yourself.
Your girlfriend sees that you’re looking at her curiously, and she just shrugs apologetically to you. You roll your eyes and head back into your own classroom.
Come lunch time, Melissa is still sitting in her chair, teaching from her desk. Her kids are lining up to head out, but she doesn’t so much as move. Her class ends up tagging onto the end of your line as they’ve done for the past few days. You drop them all at the cafeteria before making your way into the staff room.
“Where’s Melissa?” you roll your eyes as you grab your lunch from the refrigerator.
“Her classroom,” Barbara tells you. “I took her down her lunch and an ice pack.”
You nod before taking your salad out of the room with you and making your way back down the hall towards your girlfriend.
When you can see her, she’s sitting at her desk with her foot propped up and the aforementioned ice pack resting over the bruise.
“Hey,” Melissa waves you in quietly.
You just look to her as you stand in her doorway. “I’m beyond pissed with you, you know,” you say flatly.
“I know,” the redhead sighs. She gestures for you to come in. You do, taking a student chair and pulling it up to her desk.
Her hand very quickly finds its way into your own, squeezing it gently. “Mi amore.”
“I can’t believe you.”
“I know, and I’m sorry.”
You pull your hand from hers. “I mean, seriously, Melissa. Denying my help, telling me that you were just fine when you clearly weren’t, and then stooping so low as to stealing my painkillers that were expired? You have to be kidding me!”
“I-” Your girlfriend cups your cheek gently. “Honey, I’m sorry.”
“You should be,” you huff.
“I fucked up by not letting you help me, I know I did,” the redhead admits quietly. “I know it doesn’t excuse it, but I just… I’ve never had anyone so willing to look after me when I’m not at a hundred… Joe always left me to my own devices, and other flings didn’t care enough to help.”
“I’m not Joe,” you hiss. “And I’m certainly not just some stupid little fling of yours.”
Soft lips meet your own. “I know. I know you aren’t. You’re you, and you care so deeply for me and are so willing to take care of me. But you have to understand that I’m not used to that. I’ve always had to fend for myself.”
“You don’t have to do that anymore,” you sigh.
“I know,” Melissa mumbles. “But I- I-” She shakes her head softly as she tries to figure out how she wants to word this. “I didn’t want to be dependent on you, especially while you were sick. So I made a stupid decision- one that I entirely regret, because it clearly hurt you and made you feel like I didn’t need you, when I do.”
You nod along.
“And after you stormed out of the break room today, I really knew I fucked up. So… I went down to the nurse, asked Barbara to bring me my lunch and an icepack, and I scheduled an appointment to check out my foot once school is over.”
“You did?” you ask quietly.
Your girlfriend nods. “I did. And… I was kinda hoping my beautiful girlfriend would take me there after work today?”
You have to fight the urge to roll your eyes and tell her that you would’ve done that days ago. Instead you just give her a tight lipped smile and nod. “You know I will. But I’m driving.”
The next morning, you carry your things on one shoulder and Melissa’s things on the other. You ensure that she can easily make her way into the school with her crutches now.
“So you went to the doctor?” Janine asks when she sees the two of you making your way down to the classroom.
“Grade two ankle sprain, wrist bruise, knee abrasion,” your girlfriend relays. “So… you know, no big deal, like I said.”
You give her a look in disbelief.
“Okay, okay,” the redhead rolls her eyes. “So, maybe a bigger deal than I thought it was. But I’ll be alright, because I know I have my wonderful girlfriend to help take care of me while I get back to one hundred percent.”
It’s your turn to roll your eyes. “Alright, Schemmenti. Let’s go. You gotta ice your ankle again before the kids get here.”
TAGS: @schemmentis @thesapphictimelady @marvel210 @itisdoctortoyousir @morgana-larkin @doesthatsuggestanythingtoyou @marvels--slut @sweetcheeksschemmenti @megamultifandomtrashposts @lemz378 @http-sam @melissaschemmentisbranzino @imaginesmultifandoms @sexysapphicshopowner @lilfartbox1 @maybe-a-humanbean @imlike-so-gaydude @a-queen-and-her-throne @notinmyvocab @melanielaufeyson @dvrkhcld @cosmichymns @sasheemo @m1lflov3rrr @ricejucie @temilyrights @emilynissangtr @squinnchy @dopenightmaretyphoon @emeraldoceansstuff @shinyfaerielights @blkmxrvel @marvelwomenrule @sarahjohannson @casualfoxwitch @babytakeittothehead
#abbott elementary#abbott elementary fanfiction#abbott elementary fanfic#lisa ann walter#melissa schemmenti fanfiction#melissa schemmenti#melissa schemmenti fanfic#melissa schemmenti x reader#melissa schemmenti x you
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To preface I wrote this at 6 am after taking care of fish all night its not well worded
Every day, I become more gender critical. I will say that right now, it's a subject of uncertainty. Do I think that there is a possibility a human brain could feel the need to be in another body? There's a possibility, but I have yet to see a scientific explanation that doesn't play into the "male/female brain" bioessentialist bullshit that has been disproven. An explanation that proves it's not social conditioning. But do I also think that the queer community is falling right back into gender roles, lazy pre-made labels, and weird attitude and definition of being female? Absolutely. So I'm watching a video, and this woman was saying she is female, but started transitioning to male with hormones young, and then identified as a woman because she wanted to "experience being a teenage girl".... and as someone who is a female and "identifies" as a woman, that shit just totally threw me off. You all are falling right back into some conservative male pseudoscience. When I was a teen girl, I acted the same as teen boys. That's why, at one point, I identified as something other than a woman. The fact is, I feel a lot of it comes down to how the female body is perceived. We perceive being male as being truly yourself. You are confident, strong, and smart. When you have a female body, you're attractive, sexual, young, nurturing, and havent been "ruined" by a man yet. You are FOR someone, be it being observed or direct pleasures. Whether or not being trans is real, putting this connotation on sex is NOT healthy for ANYONE. Sex is not something that defines someones mentality, its purely physical. I can understand a mind feeling the need to see a different phsyical body, but acting like gender is a quirky little personality is destroying everything we've built. The worst thing is it feels like this is the gender attitude. It feels like right-wing propaganda shown as leftist ideology, and it feels like we are reverting. The reason I feel its becoming this way is the fact that its easier to group yourself with a favorable side rather than ask why its favorable. Its fun to play female for a bit and be a pretty toy, but then you can go back to being a TRUE human when you feel like a boy! We have to find the truth, and this isn't the truth.
Ig, today's society feels like two sides where I'm just "woman". And on the left I have to cut my tits off or bind to be human but since I identify with my body I'm a pretty princess who twirls in skirts. Reminds me of that one feminist who said trans women helped her bc one side told her it was innate and physical, an inescapable prison. Why do you not ask why you want to escape? Why is there no questioning the aspect of limitations in itself? The thing is simplifying women in the first place. One side does it physically, the other mentally. Women are not copypaste robots. And the issue as a whole is suspicious because why is it always woman as the focus? Because we arent complex humans, we have to be genres. But I need to do some more thinking on this too
#radical feminism#radical feminist community#radical feminists do interact#radical feminist safe#radblr#gender critical
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lame first dates || armin arlert x reader
read it on ao3 here!
synopsis: on a warm spring day outside, your close friend armin tells you his ideal first date. if only it could be you on that date…
notes: gn! reader, friends to lovers, one-shot, mad fluff, loosely implied college! au if you really squint, armin and reader being bookworms, just some cute friends to lovers with a healthy dose of awkwardness, also you're vegetarian in this bc i couldn't think of another way to make cooking for someone more awkward, but this is only alluded to once
song rec: bleached by video days
。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫
“That’s lame!”
He blinks at me, doe eyes wide and brows furrowed in almost comical confusion. Blinks again. Pushes his hands back into the plush grass. “How is it lame?” he inquires.
“Why did you agree to get coffee as a first date if caffeine makes you anxious? God, as if first dates aren’t already stressful enough!”
“Look, okay!” Armin is grinning, and I breathe out in relief, knowing I have not actually upset him. His animate face is bridled by the April sunshine, and I am struggling to take my eyes off him. Oh God, am I staring? I hope I’m not staring. “They were really pretty. I mean, out of my league pretty. I was in no position to start negotiating.”
“Why not? There’s nothing wrong with both having input in a first date. If anything it’s telling.”
“How?”
“If they get angry at you for negotiating the date, that’s a red flag.” I say definitively.
“Well, that’s you,” Armin emphasises, lying back into the grass. His left hand rests lazily against his button nose to shield out the clear sky. “You’re more assertive than me. I was just thrilled they actually wanted to go on a date me.”
“So where did that go?” I ask tentatively.
“It didn’t work out. We went on a few dates, but they told me it just wasn’t clicking. That’s fair enough, I guess, but I still felt… bad. Like I obviously wasn’t good enough for them. Why would I be?” he turns to me, pursing his lips. “Sorry, I know I’m being a little melodramatic.”
“No, I get it. I mean, you definitely are good enough. But you’re always gonna feel shitty after being rejected.”
“Yeah.”
“So, when was this? I don’t remember you seeing somebody.”
“Start of the year. But it was a few dates, not a wedding plan. I just don’t feel the need to broadcast if I’m going on a couple of dates to the entire group. Unless they ask, of course.”
“Well,” I start, meeting his eyes with a smile. “I was expecting at least a little change in behaviour, surely? Maybe a spring in the step, a little bit more energy, high on life and love and all that jazz?” I enunciate with a flair of my hands.
“Not really. Maybe that was telling that there was nothing there. After all, the dates were all standard… kind of awkward at times, but like I said, I was grateful somebody that pretty desired me.”
I’m trying not to cringe at how much he is saying this person is attractive. Seriously Armin, I get it. They were a god of aesthetic desire, no need to rub it in. Change the subject, I tell myself, teeth on my bottom lip. “Define standard dates.” I state.
“Oh, you know… dinner, a movie, coffee shops. I like the time I spend to be more imaginative and personal.”
“So what’s an imaginative date, then? What’s the ideal first date for you?”
Armin groans emphatically, shaking his head. “If you think coffee shop is lame, you are going to hate my ideal first date.”
“Bet I won’t,” I shoot back, leaning forward.
“Well,” he starts, then immediately rolls over, hiding his face with a groan, which is so cute it makes me want to burst. “You are seriously going to think I’m so lame!”
“I could never think you are lame, Arlert! I only thought the idea of you going to spike your anxiety levels on a generally very anxiety inducing conquest was lame, that’s all. Tell me!” I emphasise the last two words with a tentative shake of his shoulder, a feather light touch, hoping the contact will get him to open up.
“Fine! My ideal date is a day like this. Sometimes I imagine it at the beach, but we live nowhere near one, and they’d be busy anyway. I want a quiet spot in nature, somewhere me and my date can be alone–”
“Ooh, you’re gonna get freaky!” I jibe.
“Not like that!” his head shoots up, and as I suspected, his cheeks are already slightly flushed. Although I tease him about it, I find how easily he goes red to be one of his sweetest quirks. “I just want somewhere we– my date and I– would have some quiet.”
“Interesting, so we’d– you’d find somewhere like this,” I motion to the undisturbed corner of grass we have secured on the green, where fronds of tallgrass and milkweed encircle our undisturbed patch of greenery against young trees. The picnic bench, heavy with peeling green paint and student graffiti dating back years, is unused by us as we opt for the floor to vantage the serene lake. “Why do you need quiet?” I continue, genuinely wanting to know more.
“Well, yeah, here would be an ideal location. It’d just be nice to have the solitude, I guess. Plus, I’d bring a picnic–”
“Oh my God!”
Armin buries his face once more. “See? I knew you’d think it’s lame!”
“No, no! That’s so cute! I would never forget it if somebody made me a picnic,” I sigh dreamily, lying down next to him with just enough space between us for it to not seem flirtatious. As much as I want to flirt, to let him know how lovely I find him, I can never quite gauge if it would be reciprocated. He’s currently one of my closest friends; if he’s not willing to take it any further, I would rather let the feelings die, albeit painfully, on their own, and resume our friendship, rather than make him uncomfortable. The trouble is, Armin is painfully shy. If there is anything between us, he does a great job of hiding it, and judging by the recounts of people always asking him out, I wonder if he would ever make a move on me even if he did feel the same way.
“So nobody’s ever made you a picnic? I find that hard to believe.” he mumbles, peeking one eye towards me behind messy tufts of honey blonde hair and daisies.
“No, they have not!” I state dramatically, crossing my arms. “I got cooked dinner once, but they made it with meat. I literally told them I didn’t… hang on, what do you mean it’s hard to believe? Am I royalty who deserves picnics made for them on every date I go on?” A beat passes from my inquiry, and my heart skips. While only meaning it as a joke, I am more curious than ever to know what he is thinking right now.
“I just find it surprising that someone like you… I mean, it’s just weird. I thought you would have been taken on a lot of lovely dates.”
“Not really, actually. There’s been some nice ones, but none that I’ll remember for the rest of my life. Anyway, enough about my dates, I want to hear more about this ideal picnic first date!”
“Okay, so I’d prepare a picnic. Nothing too extravagant, just some berries, sandwiches. Maybe I’d make some cookies, or maybe ask if there’s anything they’d like to bring along. Before we arrived, I’d ask them to bring their favourite book, and I’d bring mine. Then, after we got comfortable, we’d swap books and read. I think it’d just be a lovely way to get to know the other person. You can tell a lot about a person by their favourite book.”
Oh my God. He’s so cute. I can’t stop myself smiling, instantly fantasising about how much I want to be the person who he takes on this picnic date.
“Your silence speaks volumes.” he shoots, his voice muffled.
“Armin!” I shout, louder than intended. “If somebody did that for my first date, I’d ask for their hand in marriage. That’s such a romantic idea! My silence is speaking the volumes of ‘holy shit, I wish I could have a first date like that’.”
“You think so?”
“Yes! You could get anyone you wanted if you planned that as a date. You should ask the next person you find cute what their favourite thing to bring on a picnic is, you'll be married by the end of the day." I assert hyperbolically.
“I seriously can’t asking people out. If I could… well.” he falters, furrows his brow and sighs. “Hey, what’s your favourite book?”
My body shoots full of adrenaline. Is he coming on to me? Or am I reading way too much into this? That's got to be a come on, right?
“Well, I have a few favourites, but the best I’ve read recently is Circe by Madeleine Miller.”
“Oh!” he exclaims with the sweetest grin, his eyes wide. “I loved Song of Achilles, but I never got round to Circe.”
Shoot your shot, shoot your shot, shoot your shot. I cannot stop my mind running, daring to ask if he’d like to read it, insinuating the date.
“What’s your favourite?” I enquire. I decide to test the waters. “What book would you bring to this picnic date… if I brought Circe?” Was that a bit too much testing of the waters? Oh, God. He shrouds his head with his bare arms, and I am weighing up whether this is because I’ve pushed it too far or if he’s blushing.
“Uh… well I have a lot of favourites, like you. But I’d most likely bring Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood. It’s something I read when I was young, much too young to fully understand the depth of the nuances, but it always stayed with me. As I got older, I reread it over and over and I was more immersed each time. It’s one of her best works, I’d even say it’s on the level with The Handmaid’s Tale.” During his rambles, he pokes his head up, clearly lost in the world of the book he describes to me. That’s when I am shot through with another course of adrenaline, desperately fighting any visible tells of excitement. He is blushing!
“Huh,” I muse. “Not read that one, only The Handmaid’s Tale and The Testaments.”
“So… we’ve both not read each other’s favourite books, huh?” he says quietly, pushing himself up onto his forearms and turning his head. He begins to bend his fingers against each other. I am absentmindedly biting my thumbnail, wondering if either of us might ask.
Fuck it.
“Um… no hard feelings if not–”
“It’s fine if you don’t want to, but–”
We both start in unison. Pause. Make direct eye contact.
“You go.” Again, in unison, before laughing nervously.
“Seriously, you can go first!” I gesture, wondering if he will really ask me.
He shakes his head shyly. “You go.”
“Well… if you’re going to ask what I think you are, then I want to hear you say it!” I tell him.
“So, what do you think I’m going to ask?”
“If you wanted to do that date together!” I blurt, then reel. Oh, that sly bastard. He’s gotten me to say it first.
“Yeah… I’d like that, (y/n).”
“Okay, cool.” I respond, internally smacking myself. Okay, cool? Who says okay, cool? “I mean,” I rectify, fidgeting. “That’d be really nice. When? Is here okay? Wait, I’m totally rambling, aren’t I? Sorry, I just…”
“No it’s okay! I… I was nervous too. Are you free tomorrow? Or is that too soon–”
“No, not too soon! What about a time?
“Noon okay? I mean, it doesn’t have to be, but–” We are both stumbling over words, rebuttals, speaking quickly and correcting ourselves on our own words. But we are also both grinning uncontrollably. I sigh, taking a moment.
“Noon would be great. Would you like me to bring anything? Drinks, or snacks?”
“Well, I can take care of sandwiches and fruits. If you could bring any drinks you like or some other small snacks, that’d be lovely.”
“No problem! But I have one question… are you really going to make me cookies?”
Armin exhales through his nose, shaking his head. Then he does something uncharacteristically bold; takes my hand and squeezes it briefly.
“For you, I think I can do that.”
#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#aot x reader#aot x you#snk x reader#snk x y/n#snk x you#aot fic#armin#armin arlert#armin aot#snk armin#snk#aot armin#aot#aot modern au#snk modern au#armin x y/n#armin x you#armin x reader#armin arlet x reader#armin arlet#armin arlert x reader#armin arlert x you#armin arlert x y/n#fluff#snk fanfiction
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Reading this blog and procrastinating what I should’ve been doing at the moment, but it’s super helpful if you want to know more about the Anglo-Saxon and Viking material culture but don’t want to be bored to hell. All articles are done by an archaeologist specializing in mortuary archaeology, and he has already written several ones about burials and pagan practices during that time through the lens of The Last Kingdom. I’ve linked one of his posts before on ao3 when discussing about the historical accuracy of Alfred’s tomb effigy in the show under the pic Prayer from the Pagan, but didn’t really had the time to check others out. I just did it and find his other articles are actually super interesting to read as well.
For instance, back when I post this pic in January I said the colour palette was inspired by the Alfred jewel, but I completely forgot that it actually appeared in the show (2x04) where Alfred handed it to Æthelwold and said “Take this. It is a symbol of my kingship. Bear it with authority.”, which might be partially true but is hilarious if you give it another thought.
Because, why, in God’s name, would Alfred hand an ARTEFACT version of the piece he commissioned himself to his nephew? As Prof. Williams already stated (in this post), the Alfred jewel has long been assumed to be the handle part of a pointer stick for following words when reading a book, and if you look at the artefact itself it is quite clear that there’s a part that’s been missing as well. The reason why scholars think it has something to do with Alfred is because:
1) It’s written. The text on the frame literally says that “ÆLFRED MEC HEHT GEWYRCAN”, which means “Alfred ordered me made”. The more detailed explanation below (with the help of beloved wikitionary since I don’t understand Old English at all)
ÆLFRED (subject) Alfred, obviously MEC (object) me; accusative of iċ (I), but in the West Saxon dialect it’s actually an uncommon version of iċ’s accusative and is more often seen in the Anglian dialect. The frequently-used version for West Saxons is mē HEHT (verb) ordered; third-singular past tense for hātan (to call; to order etc.), often followed with infinitive verbs, cognate with heißen in German GEWYRCAN (verb) to make; I honestly don’t know if “to make” and “to be made” is just the same word in OE help And since the word order in OE is random as hell thanks to the case system (much like German which I eventually gave up learning because I don’t have a brain big enough for that. IT MAKES NO SENSE TO A NATIVE MANDARIN SPEAKER THANK YOU), it is eventually translated into “Alfred ordered me to be made”.
2) It was discovered in Somerset and has been dated to the late 9th century, and we all know what Somerset meant to Alfred
3) Alfred did say he would send a copy of his translation of Gregory the Great’s Pastoral Care to every episcopal see in his kingdom in the preface to it, with the book accompanied “an æstel of 50 mancuses”. Mancus was a term to denote a gold coin or a unit for coins worth about a month’s wage for a skilled worker, such as a craftsman or a soldier. Whatever that æstel is it must be worth hell LOTS of money
But honestly while I do think this interpretation sounds very much plausible I’m thinking about other possibilities as well - how many Alfreds exactly existed during his time? We know that Æthel in OE means noble, so people bearing this prefix in their names were usually royal members or at least aristocrats, but what about Alfred? Was Alfred a popular name? Or was it unique enough that he could just go by this name without mentioning his title at all? Imagine if it were an Æthelred who made this, who the hell would know which one of these it was referring to, Æthelred the King, Æthelred the Ealdorman, Æthelred Ealhswith’s father, or even Æthelred the fucking Archbishop??? And yeah, I know Alfred was the king ™ here and there isn’t really much space left on the frame after all, but surely it wouldn’t cost a bone to add a cyning behind his name, right?
Sadly, as it was in the pre-Domesday-Book era, I can’t find the statistics of Anglo-Saxon names at that time (but keep in mind that there were at least 19 Alfreds worthy enough to be mentioned in Domesday Book even after the conquest. I don’t know if this says anything at all but I do want to mention it) What I’m trying to say is while it is highly highly highly likely (and I do believe and want to believe in this theory!), we cannot be one hundred percent certain that this jewel was really from the Alfred we’re talking about. And even if it was, it apparently wouldn’t be carried around by Alfred like THAT. Because that would be like, “Bear this with authority! Even though the symbol of my kingship is broken!”, said Alfred to a king wannabe. Lol.
The other thing I want to mention is this post about the show’s use of Fuller brooch, the one Alfred wore in S2 when he was in his war gear.
First of all, it is indeed dated to late 9th century and is assumed by scholars to be made by metalworkers of Alfred’s court. Everything is fine except I don’t think you would want to wear jewelry that luxurious to war…but then there’s this thing:
MEET GIANT FULLERS!
Well, can’t blame them since I am basically doing the same thing with my drawings (i.e. using patterns on jewelry and illustrations from manuscripts for embroidery design). But it’s worth noting that designs that are suitable for one art form doesn’t mean they can be applied to another well, and that’s why I claim my art is inspired by Anglo-Saxon art but NOT historical accurate for the Anglo-Saxon period. The reason I still do this and think it is understandable for TLK crew to do so is because we simply don’t have that many resources to reference from when it comes to this time period, and fabrics and wooden buildings are just extremely hard to preserve by nature. Instead of screwing up the design on your own, it just has more fun to add real historical elements into your work. Look at those easter eggs!
Ok, that’s it. I hope you enjoy my long rant and have a good read from Prof. Williams’s works!
#I’m so sorry for everybody who did read the whole thing omg#I hope you’re that kind of person who thinks it is sometimes fun to waste your time#I certainly didn’t anticipate this to be this embarrassingly long HELP#nerd is nerding#that will happen again lmao#the last kingdom#alfred the great#archaeology#british history#king alfred#anglo saxon#hikaru.txt#tlk alfred#anglo saxon archaeology#archeology#oh and all in all i really hope dd did get to bring these replicas home tho bc THAT WOULD BE SO FUCKING COOL
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In one of your ask answers from September you wrote: ''I am a bit reluctant to say what I really think of Faust''. I skimmed over other answers as well but you never really spoke on this matter or about him (concerning this) again. Perhaps it's going to be an empty ask because you're still not comfortable elaboring your views on this - which I accept naturally - but I'm just way too curious to not shoot my shot: what do you REALLY think about Faust?
I personally do not have much going on opinion wise when it comes to him, he seems loyal to Øystein's memory (visiting his grave often, speaking highly of him always, keeping his legacy alive and over all being full of admiration for him, which is understandable since Ø could count as his role model, in a way) which is nice considering how people from the BM scene try to paint Ø, stuffing their mouths with his name just for views and/or turning their backs on him after his death ; but I am also aware of the crime he commited and as far as I recall, he never really spoke about it? Which is also why many people despise him (which is normal, absolutely not trying to imply that 'talking about it' would solve the problem!) the double amount, for example you can see it here: https://www.reddit.com/r/rabm/comments/mz7s97/the_lgbt_heavy_metal_podcast_24_emperor/. Anyway, I'm more interested right now if your opinion, if you'd like to share. Thanks!
There are many reasons why I'm reticent in saying what I truly believe about Faust, but I will try to express it in the gentlest way possible. My opinion is not something colossal as there isn't much information available on the subject, but it's definitely a radical one.
I see lately that more and more people have a tendency to make opinions about certain problematic black metal individuals that are 'Øystein approved or disapproved'. In this case, I can easily include Faust. I see people willing to downplay the gruesome and intentional murder that he committed for the simple fact that he was one of Øystein's loyal 'students', so to speak. So, my question for those is:
Does the simple fact that Faust spoke honorably about his mentor make him less of a bad person for taking the life of a man? The most rational answer is no.
I see many people believing blindly that Faust is truly remorseful and that he learned his lesson in prison, and my question about this is: How can you be so sure? Just because he is out now, talking about how he messed up because he was a kid and how much he changed since then doesn't mean that he means his words. Anyone can say anything. You don't know if it's real unless you know that person personally, and even so, he went to prison for first degree murder. I don't think it's far-fetched to doubt his words. Once you're some kind of celebrity, you need to keep your PR good. And if you don't think that everything in this world is business, then you don't really know how the world works, and I apologize for sounding rude.
No one can prove or disprove that his mentality (not action) changed.
It is very expectantly for him to try to clean his image and redirect the attention to other subjects like talking positively about Øystein. I don't say he is not respectful and he doesn't carry on Øystein's legacy, but I'm saying that it's wise to be aware who says what and what might be the reason behind it. There are other people that I'm more inclined to believe their feelings towards Øystein and loyalty are more authentic, like Mortiis for example. This is just my opinion, I encourage everyone to think for themselves.
Maybe I'm too harsh on him and I don't give him many chances, but he is a criminal after all, and I don't minimize this aspect. He didn't kill in self defense, he talked in interviews about 'stomping' on the victim's head, and this is cruelty. Do people think this cruelty somehow goes away over time? It never does. You're either born with it or you learned it. That's not PlusVanity being bitter about what can be changed in people. That's a well-known psychological fact. He is in the ASPD spectrum towards the high end, that's no speculation.
The time spent in prison is the equivalent of a joke because of the Norwegian system. You're basically living like in a hotel there, painting and doing crafts, playing basketball with the guards, living a long vacation. There is little to nothing that a troubled individual can learn and self-reflect in such conditions. I'm not saying that more violent habits are the answer for behavioral change as I strongly believe that violence is primitive and unnecessary, but the only way in which someone can get an insight on themselves is by feeling the equivalent consequences of what they've done.
People question if he killed a man because his victim was homosexual or he if simply killed just to feel how it is like. Both options make Faust just as much of an asshole because he took somebody's life intentionally. When asked about his opinion on homosexuals, he answered: 'Basically I don't care about them (as long as they keep it to their own people), but... what can I say... they are nice to put knives into..' In another interview he describes luring that man to the spot in which he committed the crime. There's always the element of shock-value in the black metal scene, but I tend to believe his words back then were a bit more genuine than what he insists on now because, to be fair, who wouldn't want to clean his image after something like this? Especially because he is still relevant in the scene.
Of course that his peers accepted right back like 'hey, bro! nice to see you again' and many people forgot his dark past because he's famous (to a certain degree). Is he a perfectly good guy now just because he says he is? When talking about antisocial behavior, somebody who did this can always do it again. They have it in them.
To sum it up, from a moral perspective, I don't like Faust and I'm not easily impressed by his post-prison statements because of the gravity of his act. Should he be forgiven or cancelled is not something I will comment about. There is no way to verify what's in his head and talking more about it is simply rambling.
From a musical perspective, he's a good drummer.
That's all I can say.
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The fact that when I read this "But everyone will learn why the Other Arthur always walked alone, stare empty. Everyone will learn how Merlin has killed everyone he loved except for himself, and everyone will know how the Other Arthur has done the same to the Other Merlin." The song I was listening (it's great it's very Arthur coded AND IT FITS THIS AU TOO 🤌✨ https://youtu.be/twI3qZ6_8PQ?t=182&si=9AN09qUcLoSdzGka ) just went to the last lyrics "Oh gods that dwell beyond the stars, if you can hear my cry ; And if you have compassion, let me send no more to die" is fate omg
To come back on the subject : I LOVE HOW YOU WROTE THIS SO MMMMUUUUUCCCCCHHHBBHH (honorable mention to this because I was GAGGED OMG : I preferred you with longer hair.”
Arthur smiles, hand on the pommel of his word. Merlin shrugs, an equally menacing but darker sword materialising on his side, and right in his hand.
“It was better to hold onto when I came inside you.”
Also « We meet again merlin » <- arthur, babe, I know you wanted to ride that man until sunrise came)
>#i also have this irrational fear that someone will steal my fics ideas💀so like i always blog them under your blogs#talk about being dramatic#because i feel safer lmao
>I’m sorry if it will be quite long or under your blog, but you just caught my attention because yes!!! We
I'm very happy my blog can be a safe space! And I always LOVE when people expand on what I write!!
#but also like why i haven’t got all the time in the world to write all of these
I currently have 32 page of idea of wip in my doc (and I’m not exaggerating that’s really 32 pages 💀) and Goddness know how many are actually on my tumblr so I get it 😔😔 BUT WE REALLY NEED TO EXPAND AND CLEAN THAT ONE UP BECAUSE IT'S SO FIRE !!!!!!!!DKBSSBJSBSBSBSBSBSB
#YOUR IDEAS SOMETIMES MATCH MY IDEAS IN A WAY THAT SCARES ME
GREAT MIND THINK ALIKE or as they say were I live "Great spirits met once again"!
#but also like i always imagined this in a parallel world because i want merlin and arthur to actually see for themselves what other#possibilities there could be to their love#if there is a world where they can love each other without consequences
Tbh it could be very interesting if the reason why merthur 1's world was eating magic out of that world in particular is because merthur 2 has magic yes but it doesn't have a stable merthur relationship 👀 like merthur 1 world feed of magic of merthur 2 but merthur 2 feed of the kinder love of merthur 1 👀 and the only way they can both get stable is if not only merthur one go back and legalise magic but also if merthur 2 are put in a room and have a ‘hungry cat in heat fight’ for a week that turn into slow love making as days goes by 🤌✨ like who knew you could make war stop if you make them fuck MORE and not look at your king as you wonder when he will start to fuck less with his mortal enemy please sire it's the 8 time this month we cannot effort another tower cra— *sigh*
(also imagine from an external pov lmao like for the random people of Camelot this kingdom is already a shared custody between the king and his enemy-with-benefits who conquer it for 6 months then the king conquers the enemy-with-benefits’ kingdom then then enemy-with-benefits conquers back his own kingdom as the king conquers once more their kingdom and then—)
I just find it so interesting that canonically merthur can not hate each other. They seem also they never be able to fully live if the other is far away.
Just, this is the perfect set up fot extremely dark and toxic romance.
Like imagine : Merlin and Arthur being from enemy kingdom who are at war. They both killed countless of loved one of the other mentor, friend, lover, family,... But they can't stay away. It's like a drug Arthur needs to see Merlin, Merlin needs to see Arthur. They go out in the middle of the night, they fight, they kick, but they can never give the fatal blow. They hold each other so tightly you could never know where one begins and where the other end. They scream 'I hate you, I hate you, I hate you so much' and yet, between kisses they whisper 'I hate you, I hate you, I love you, goddess, I love you so much"
When Merlin's kingdom manage to take Uther's castle, they make love on the bloody floor. They run their bloody finger in each other hair, pulling on them so hard you could wonder how they manage to never break their kiss. Merlin takes, takes and takes. Spreading blood on Arthur's flanks, pushing him on the cold floor. Arthur fights, fights and fights. Pushing back, searching for a sword but when he find one he barely put it on Merlin’s neck before throwing it away and taking merlin in a crushing embrace.
When Arthur will take back his Castle, when Merlin will lose his and take it back again. When they will have made each other king by turning rivers red. Maybe they will find a different love or maybe they won't. It doesn't matter, as for now, their kisses have only one taste, blood and war.
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Ppl being so surprised that was actually Barry Keoghans penis in the Saltburn end scene really speaks to the lack of male nudity in movies as opposed to how much female nudity there is
yeah, the double standard is really evident (but unfortunately, not surprising). i have a fair few problems with saltburn on a storytelling/execution level, but i Do respect it for going there...
#asks#admittedly prosthetic dicks are a thing commonly used in films#like i know willem dafoe did that at one point. cant remember the film#but yeah...its so strange how that concept is still so controversial or unexpected or whatever#i have more words i could say on the subject but#i gotta get some sleep before im coherent enough to string them together 😭
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