#i have lots of thoughts about pearl for this apparently

[minecraftbookshelf]

Weapons of Choice

@justanaveragelizardperson has spoken! (Thank you so much, not being able to decide was driving me up the wall)

We'll hit this in alphabetical order, my headcanons for these are a combination of canon inspiration and pure, world-building results. Also this is not 100% accurate to how swords especially work in real life, this is a fantasy genre story and we embrace the "But It Looks Cool" here.

-

Fwip: His preferred weapons are potions and explosions, he always has a fireworks crossbow to hand. As far as bladed weapons go he has a long dagger that doubles for chopping potions ingredients when he doesn't have his actual tools to hand.

Gem: Primarily uses her staff in combat, but if the occasion calls for it will just haul back and punch her opponent in the face. Is scrappy and level-headed, which is a dangerous combination.

Joey: Primarily fights with a smallsword when he has to fight but is the least martially minded of the rulers. Keeps totems of undying on him at all times.

Katherine: Her sword is a light-weight saber, her fighting style relies on her being light and quick on both her feet and her wings. She can also call the Overgrown to defend her and itself if the occasion calls for it.

LDShadowLady: Fights with a trident. She has a sword but doesn't really use it. The trident is the traditional weapon of the Oceanic royalty, thus both hers and Jimmy's. Will also sic axolotls on her enemies without hesitation.

Mythical J. Sausage: The Blood Sword is a zweihänder. He also carries a short sword to wield with a shield. His grip is half-open, giving a bit less flexibility but greater power to his blows. He acquires his sorcerers staff at one point and then favors that about equal with the Blood Sword.

PearlescentMoon: Equally proficient with her sword, axe, and scythe, as well as hand to hand. Is also skilled with the bow but prefers close combat methods. Her sword is a longsword that she wields both two handed and with a shield. She has a very rooted fighting style, her footwork is minimal, but when she does go more mobile she is very well balanced. She relies somewhat on her ability to tank hits, which serves her well, as her endurance is incredibly high, as demonstrated by her ability to go toe-to-toe with semi-immortal beings on a regular basis and hold her own. Shes very adept at using her elytra in combat, to the point that multiple rulers with natural wings have commented on her flight proficiency.

Pixlriffs: His preferred weapon is a Channeling Trident, his second choice is his basket-hilted sword (a schiavona) or recurve bow.

Shrub Berry: Joey gifted them a smallsword which for her functions as a broadsword. She's relatively new to combat but is proficient with a hatchet and a recurve bow. Their greatest weapon is the wolf pack.

Smajor: (There is no war rune blade in Ba Sing Se.) We're sticking with the LotR aesthetic for weapons as well, so that is what his sword looks like (A long-sword after the style of those used by the Lorien forces at Helm's Deep in the films) Also proficient with a longbow. At the time of the story beginning is not even close to considering using his ice magic in combat.

SmallishBeans: Equally favors a Mezalean shortsword (based off a xiphos) and a battle axe. He does have a trident and is fairly proficient with it but prefers to use it for travel rather than combat.

Solidarity: The Codfather Sword is a two-handed sword, closest to a claymore, he wields it with an open grip. (Which allows for more flexibility and control of the blade but the strikes are less powerful) When he's in Fish Mode it is more of a bastard/hand-and-a-half sword. He also uses a trident, mostly for aquatic combat.

Xornoth: Two swords. Has never willingly used a shield in their life and isn't about to start now. Is either dual wielding elvish-style short swords or has a full-size battle axe. Will sometimes throw fire and lava but tends to be cautious with it.

-

AU Masterpost

[lacy-oh-lacy]

*cough* agatha with a controversially young lover *cough*

✧₊⁺ 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐟

𝐀/𝐍: I'm combining this with another request for Agatha and a virgin reader because it seemed like a very natural fit. I hope that's okay.

𝐂𝐖: Age gap (reader's in their 20s), Virgin!Reader, Dom!Agatha, Oral (Agatha receiving), fingering, accidental exposure, slightly mean domming

Agatha called you out for eyefucking her the first time you met. Reveling in the flustered panic that followed.

“What? No, no, I um- I didn't mean to-”

“Oh, relax twerp, it takes more than a horny Zoomer to make me clutch my pearls.”

As unimpressed as she seemed with you though, that wasn't the last time she sought you out.

Because apparently, despite your age you made the best potions of anyone in the state, and her need for one drove her right up the grungy stairwell to your apartment.

Dressed to the nines in her expensive blazer and fancy updo, she looked almost comical outside your door, glaring through the threshold. “I'm here for the potion.”

“Shhh.” You ushered her inside, glancing over your shoulder. “My roommates don't know… about my extracurriculars.”

“Of course you have roommates.”

Of course that was the only part of your statement she addressed.

“It’s finished, come in.”

She followed you to your bedroom, a sad little thing, half taken up by your desk alone.

Your college textbooks were pushed precariously to the side to make way for your supplies, from which you plucked a vial and handed it to her.

“Here you go.”

Agatha held it to the light, examining the dark liquid inside with something like approval sparkling in her eyes… At least until you opened your mouth.

“That'll be 500 dollars.” You said, wincing as her inspecting gaze turned to wide, fiery eyes. “...Mam.”

“500 dollars? Are you joking?”

“Sorry. College is expensive.”

You wisely didn't mention that most of your customers were a lot less magically experienced than her and easier to gouge.

“I didn't even bring 500 dollars.”

You sighed. You could -as was evident- really use the money but you weren't going to pick a fight with The Agatha Harkness over it, that was for sure.

“Fine. 100.”

She huffed but reached into a pocket and handed you the bill.

“Great. Just great. Ya know, if you think I'm wound tight now you should see me on a budget.”

“Uh huh.” You couldn't muster sympathy for her if you tried, you doubted you could even brew a potion to. “I'd think at your level you could just magic-up whatever you want... I'm not even sure why you need me.”

Nerve struck, her only reply was a withering glare as she tucked the potion away in an inner pocket of her jacket.

Talking just to fill the silence, shooting your shot because you figured you weren't going to make her any more pissed off, you continued,

“If stress relief is what you're after there are other ways. Free ones.”

You didn't know if she'd catch your meaning, you thought it might be better if she didn't, but oh, she did.

Suddenly, you were the center of Agatha Harkness’ attention, a gleam in her eye and a smirk twisting her face.

“You offering one?”

Your stomach lurched. Did that actually work?

You clawed inwards for any shreds of confidence, enough to get out, “I, well, I could be-”

“That what the discount was for? You wanted a different kind of payment?”

And that threw you off completely.

“What? No, no I-”

“Careful.” She teased. “A sweet little thing like you really shouldn't be offering up what you're not willing to part with.”

She was fucking with you.

And you stumbled right into her trap with no thoughts of getting out.

“I'm not, I mean, I am, I'm willing, if you…”

As much as she clearly enjoyed chewing on your embarrassment, you could tell her patience was thinning by the straining look on her face. She wasn't going to stand there all day waiting for you to get a sentence out.

Fuck it.

Agatha Harkness respects bravery you rationalized, seconds before your lips hit hers.

The terror of free-falling only faded as her lips pushed back against your own, returning your kiss with one more domineering, more violent. So heated your brain was almost melting.

Agatha pulled back, but with swelling lips you hardly felt the difference.

“You sure you know what you're getting yourself into?”

You nodded dumbly, “I’m really into you.”

“Oh, I know you are, Hon, that's not what I'm asking.” Her tone was dark and steady, as soft as a caress. “Do you honestly think you can handle me?”

You swallowed, eyes locked on hers against every instinct to avert them.

“I-I’ll try my best.”

She laughed, a breathy kind of cackle that left a wicked grin on her face.

“Prove it.”

Her hands on your shoulders turned heavy and almost thoughtlessly you sank to your knees under their strength.

“You want me to…?”

She gave you that same look again, like she was waiting for you to catch up and running low on patience.

“Okay… wow, um…”

Your hands, so steady and precise an hour ago while you worked, shook as you reached for Agatha's zipper.

This couldn't have been real, you waited with bated breath for her to slap your hands away.

For someone to jump out of your closet laughing.

For her to pull out a dagger and slit your throat in some kind of virgin sacrifice ritual, because, hey, what was more likely, Agatha Harkness fucking you or killing you?

But her zipper went down, and with a huff Agatha pushed her pants and panties down right along with it.

Holy fuck.

You nearly moaned at the sight of the most perfect cunt you had ever seen in your life. Which was redundant, but it was the only thought your fritzed, virgin brain would supply.

But with white-hot lust came a knot in your stomach as it dawned on you that hundreds of years of experience was staring you down.

How could you possibly live up to that? Be adequate even?

“This is where you lick it.”

You startled at her gravelly voice.

Right. Try now, wallow in your inevitable failure later.

“Should we lock the door first?” you asked, glancing at your crudely installed cheap lock.

“I don't know, should we?” She asked rhetorically, looking like she was seconds away from pushing your head where she wanted it herself.

“Right, nevermind.”

You dove forward, licking straight up her slit and earning a catch in the older woman's breath.

Was she surprised? Expecting you to back out just as much as you expected her to?

Wetness gathered on your tongue, a taste of pure sex that made your head spin. You heard yourself moan. Go figure you’d be the first one to.

You lapped greedily at her cunt, a sloppy exploration that you could've spent an eternity on, but Agatha wasn't having that.

“More.” She exclaimed, halfway between a moan and a growl.

You weren't too inexperienced to know what that meant.

You dragged your tongue up and prodded around for her clit, barely making out the little bud.

Okay. Now what?

You wracked your brain for sex tips. The alphabet trick? Did that even work in real life?

Testing the waters, you used your tongue to spell out your name on her clit, and in a flood of relief and liquid heat you heard a breathy, little moan above you.

Her bundle of nerves swelled under your tongue, hardening into something defined, something easy to play with.

“Oh! That's it! That's a good girl.”

God, she was gonna make you cum on the spot talking like that.

Lust caving in your brain, your licks dissolved to messy, thoughtless circles and crosses. Not that Agatha seemed to mind.

You glanced up at her with hazy vision. Her arm was pressed to her forehead, fist closed as tightly as her eyes. She was already so close.

Possessed by a desperate need to give her that final push over the edge you brought your fingers to her pussy, sliding two inside of her in a gentle thrust.

Agatha moaned through gritted teeth, clenching hard around you while you curled inside her, grazing her g-spot.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Saliva and Agatha’s own wetness dripped down her legs, down your hand, down your chin. She trembled beneath you, breath hitching and coming back a choked sob.

Violent flutters errupted beneath your tongue and around your fingers, but you didn't dare ease up without her command, you didn't until she broke off panting.

“Easy, Tiger, what are you doing? Going for two?” She all but gasped out.

“Sorry.” You said, no more composed yourself. “So, um, was that okay?”

She laughed, “yeah, you did good.” As if remembering that she was the wicked witch of Westview she twisted her features into something meaner. “But don't get too cocky, it's been a long time for me.”

Before you could be proud of the praise or offended by it being cut down you jolted -nearly out of your skin- with the click of your door opening.

“Woah! Ever heard of a sock on the door?”

Oh fuck.

You couldn't even look at your roommate. Wide, apologetic eyes on a groaning Agatha pulling her pants up. Annoyed but not quite embarrassed about this stranger getting an eyeful of her ass.

With her own scolding gaze burning into yours you could only cringe deeply, watching as any chance of Agatha returning the favor faded into the abyss.

“I gotta say, I think this warrants a refund.”

[suga-kookiemonster]

ctrl-alt-del | jjk (teaser)

summary⇢ you graduated bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, but, to your extreme disappointment, your big girl job isn't turning out to be nearly as exciting as you thought it would be. still, you're holding out hope that your talents will soon be recognized and your coworkers will stop trying to include you in their gossip sessions. enter jungkook, the quiet IT guy who's gradually making your days more bearable. (and if you find him easy on the eyes, that's nobody's business but yours.) pairing⇢ jungkook/reader teaser word count⇢ 1.4k genre⇢ smut | humor | office!au warnings⇢ nothing too bad for this teaser! just a mention of oral

a/n⇢this fic has literally been sitting in my wips for YEARS lmao. i feel like it's finally time to set it free 🕊️✨ it's looking like it's gonna lean more towards pwp, but there's definitely still enough plot in there to keep it interesting. not sure when it will be up, but wanted to share a snippet to get your thoughts and get myself excited to finish the last leg--fingers crossed for the next month or so 🤞🏾🙌🏾💜

When you graduated top of your class with a marketing degree and a job already lined up, you weren’t big-headed to assume you would be given a lot in the beginning. No, you knew that you were the new kid on the block and needed to prove yourself first, needed to work your way up from the bottom. But what you definitely didn’t anticipate was working up from thefigurative trenches, almost exclusively doing busywork—constantly making coffee runs, catering business lunches, printing out endless spreadsheets.

Eighty-thousand dollars in debt, and you are a glorified intern.

You’re positively itching to hit the ground running and get your hands dirty, your job isn’t too bad. The people there are all nice and welcoming, the complimentary coffee in the break room is decent enough for your dwindling bank account, and every couple of weeks, the company sponsors an employee barbecue were everyone can fraternize and enjoy free food.

“Apparently it fosters unity and teamwork,” your coworker Joy informs you as you both stand in the food line. “Seokjin—that’s our CEO—is really big on unity and teamwork.”

Joy is also a member of your marketing team. Though as sweet as can be, she has no filter, and thus always has a lot to say about everything—which has helped you when it comes to learning the ropes about the company, but has also had you clutching your imaginary pearls in some situations where you found it inappropriate. Despite only being a year older than you, her title of Marketing Associate (instead of your measly Assistant)means that she technically outranks you, though she doesn’t usually enforce that fact (unless there was something that needed to be copied or filed, of course). Still, she immediately took you under her wing when you first started, and she is the closest person to a friend you have at work (even though her daily coffee order is always so ridiculous, you are convinced that she has to be fucking with you—or at least engaging in some form of mild hazing.).

“I think it’s nice,” you reply. “I’ll never say no to free food, and they let us out early and everything.”

“I mean, pretty sure you can get the hotdogs twelve in a pack at the dollar store,” Joy quips, raising her eyebrows at you pointedly. “But sometimes the boys from Sales take their shirts off and play soccer, so there’s that.”

Your eyes dart to said Sales boys against your will, gaze drawn to Jung Hoseok as he chats animatedly with his teammates by the tables. You’ve only spoken to him once or twice, but his fiery red hair and even brighter smile caught your attention immediately, your heart rate accelerating at the sight of him in hallways mere days into starting your new position. Who better to have a mild work crush on than a sweet-talking salesman who winks at you sometimes in passing?

An appreciative noise has you turning back around, embarrassed at being caught ogling how shapely Hoseok’s butt looks in his dress pants today, but it’s just Wendy from accounting, Joy’s best friend and thus a harmless, familiar face. Wendy has cut in front of a few editors to join you and Joy, and the way that she smiles at you lets you know she’s up to no good. “He’s cute, huh?” she asks, leaning towards you conspiratorially. “I would definitely give him the good ol’ suck behind the dumpsters over there, if you catch my drift.”

“Err…yeah, I do,” you reply awkwardly. She had been explicitly clear—keyword explicit—so there definitely isn’t any room for misunderstandings. Is this truly appropriate work function conversation? From the way the editors behind you are politely clearing their throats, you think not.

“Behind the dumpster?” Joy asks curiously. “He’s standing right next to some sturdy tables that I, for one, would take great advantage of—”

“I’m gonna go get us some drinks,” you announce loudly, your neck heating up. “Can you grab me a hot dog, Joy?”

“Sure,” she says dismissively, already distracted by her sudden debate with Wendy about the most convenient place to suck off salesman Jung.

The whole conversation is making you uncomfortable. You are not a prude—far from it—but there is a time and place for everything, and your coworkers’ blasé attitude towards speaking about inappropriate topics at company functions on company time rattles you a bit. So instead of engaging in the risqué discussion further, you make your way to the cluster of brightly-colored coolers that presumably hold beverages, sidling up to the only other person lingering the area.

“Anything good?” you ask cordially, making your coworker, who had apparently been deep in thought while considering his beverage options, startle a bit.

He’s tall, his large frame covered in the appropriate business casual attire of nice jeans and a powder-blue buttonup. When he turns his head to look at you, you’re met with large, dark eyes blinking in surprise from behind wire-rimmed glasses. Said eyes dart around for a moment before determining that you were, in fact, speaking to him.

The man clears his throat. “Just the usual,” he says, voice soft. Timid.

“The usual?” you repeat. There are little hoops dangling from his earlobes, and you brush off your surprise at seeing them, returning your gaze to the coolers. Water, a clear soda, a cola. “The basics, you mean. Well, can’t really complain, right? Seeing as it’s all free. I think it’s really nice of them.”

Your companion seems surprised at your words. “It is,” he agrees softly, eyes meeting yours for a second before dropping back down to the cooler. “Um, are you...are you new?”

“Damn, I guess my cover’s blown.” You shoot him a wry smile. “Yeah, I just started a couple of weeks ago. What gave it away?”

“It’s just—no one else here really cares about these barbecues anymore,” he admits, looking at you, but not quite. More like, in your direction. “Everyone has forgotten to appreciate the little things.”

“Nothing is a given,” you shrug. “So you need to appreciate things when you can. And besides, those lots of little things can really add up without you realizing it.”

He finally seems to look at you properly, and the weight of his large, gentle brown eyes throws you off for a second. “They can,” he agrees, lips slowly drifting up. 

“What do we have over here?” a loud voice interrupts, a hand falling to your shoulder. You look up, and are met with the brightness of salesman Jung.

“Ah,” Hoseok says with a wink, reaching into the cooler. “I love Sprite.”

“Me too,” you reply automatically, and then immediately want to smack yourself. Because you don’t—carbonated beverages make you break out. But your mouth had formed the lie without your permission.

Embarrassed, you reach into the cooler, grabbing three water bottles. “See you later,” you squeak, avoiding eye contact as you make your escape.

Joy and Wendy are already watching you when you return to where they have procured a table, and when you hand them their waters, Joy raises an eyebrow. “I was wondering how long you were going to talk to that IT guy.”

“Yeah, and why did you leave when Hoseok showed up?” Wendy pouted. “_____, the universe is only going to give you so many opportunities. If you don’t want the ball, then pass it to me! Goddamn.”

“IT guy?” you ask, hoping to slide past that last remark.

“Yeah. His name is Jungkook, I think? Mostly works with the printers, started a couple months ago.” Joy shrugs, obviously disinterested by the topic. She reaches for the ketchup bottle in the center of the table and squirts some on her hot dog. “This is the first time I’ve seen him at a barbecue, though. Honestly, I’m surprised he even came out, because the IT dudes generally keep to themselves. The rarely leave their little tower,” she adds with a dismissive wave.

Wendy scoffs. “Who cares about Jeremy! Hurry up and eat, I’m sure Sales is gonna start their soccer game soon.”

“Soccer game?” you ask.

“The sales department likes to play soccer during these things,” Joy informs you. Her expression brightens. “Hey, maybe Hoseok will take his shirt off again! Let us pray.”

To your coworkers’ disappointment, Hoseok did not take his shirt off. But they certainly had a good time watching him run back and forth across the grass.

[ivys-garden]

Wild Life Spoilers: Session 2 Alliance Report:

Teams:

The Spanners - (Mumbo, Grian, Skizz) - formerly the Sub One Club, immediately forget their idea of using crawl mode and lament that they can't be sub one anymore. Mumbo then decides they are “The Floaters” due to them becoming obsessed with the levitation ability. Luckily this doesn't stick because I could not handle an alliance that changes name every session. Mumbo and Skizz built their “base” as a series of bridges, leading to Mumbo calling them “The Spanners” since “they span things”.

Speaking of levitation, they died from that. And starvation. This was not Mumbo or Skizzes session, with Mumbo losing two life's and Skizz losing 3, halfing his amount of lives in one session. If Skizz loses one next week he will be yellow. Seems Grian's curse of outlining his alliance has started early.

The Bam-Boozelers - (Scar, Lizzie, Jimmy)

I normally have a lot of faith in all life series teams. I think anyone can make it to the end. I think this so long as it is not abundantly clear that they're doomed. I never say someone is Doomed from the star-

This team is doomed from the start. Immediately they decide that the Wild Card is that he can't heal from hunger, now this is a good first thought and is shared by other teams, though those other teams immediately realised that if that were the Wild Card everyone would die of hunger and started looking for other options.

These 3? They stuck with that idea and started making boats to travel. When they realised that their hunger reduced passively, they panicked until Grian saved them by telling everyone in chat that they could eat anything. Now, armed with this knowledge they just have to find a good and easy to use food source.

They chose stone shovels. An item that cannot be stacked and required way more effort and resources to make than was worth it. And they stuck by this even as others told them about better foods. They only stopped using shovels because of the randomisation.

How is Jimmy the most confident member on his team?

In other news, they're theme park is going well and Lizzie's Parrot is cute. Jimmy also apparently has “Big Mascot Energy”.

Renwood - (Martyn, Ren)

These dogs are just vibing. They each lose a life each, no big deal. A far cry from previous seasons, Ren is just chilling, Not going after anyone unless they go after them first and trying to get Martyn to do the same. And he actually does, not attacking anyone this session at all. He even gives up going after Jimmy for stealing their cows (an action which was by every account deserved.)

The Tuff Guys (Tango, Etho, Bdubs) (not technically together (?))

Ah yes, Team B.E.S.T without Skizz …. Considering Skizz was the only person keeping Team B.E.S.T from imploding, this can only go well!

Yeah this team is not staying together. Technically they're already breaking up, with Bdubs saying they should only look out for themselves and insisting they live in different houses. Bdubs even cements this mentality by fully encouraging Scar to help kill Tango for no reason.

As for the “Tuff” part, Etho has decided that they need to be tougher and take what they want from people. You know, not to be nice or polite.

Luckily we can see how this works in practice, as Gem encourages him to go be tough to the Final Girls, let's see how Etho is an not being nice:

● he greets Scott and Cleo

● makes small talk

● politely asks for copper

● tries to stop Pearl stealing from them since he doesn't know she's on they're team

● takes more of the stuff he was told he could have

● gives them obsidian in return anyway

● and still feels bad about it.

Yeah not only was this the least tough Etho had ever been, the Girls almost certainly didn't notice and probably won't even care when they do. Great job Etho.

The Fast And The Furious (Gem, Joel)

This session, Gem announced her plan to make friends so people don't judge them based on 5 seasons worth of going insane every time they go red. This lasts for 3 minutes before other people arrive, Scar misunderstands instructions, Etho lets the cops out and the Final Girls partake in their favourite pastime of miscommunication and insisting their own teammates are doing something they aren't.

Other attempts to make friends do go better, with Gem arguably being on good terms with everyone except two people. So that's good.

Gem also builds a cute little Bard that I give a session before it's burnt down or has a Creeper hole in it. Joel spends all session building a car. Everyone on the server thinks it's hideous, mainly because it is hideous.

The Final Girls - (Scott, Pearl, Cleo, Impulse, Bigb)

Somehow the most stable team here, even if it is mostly out of spite. Yeah this team will stay together, the core four have never betrayed anyone unless an outside faction is involved. They're safe. Even if they continue the tradition of forgetting all the bad stuff they did and only reimbursing bad stuff their teammates did (what do you mean Pearl doesn't trust people based on what happened in previous seasons? That was you, Cleo!)

Oh Bigb also joined this session. Though I imagine this will be a Heart Foundation situation where he bases alone despite being on the team.

Scott and Cleo spend a lot of time this session fixing the mistakes Pearl and Impulse make by acting how they always do. A house and wall are built and Pearl and Impulse prepare revenge plans on Grian and Martyn. Pearl encourages Impulse not to tell the others, seemingly forgetting that Cleo and Bigb are addicted to revenge and would have no problem with this.

Alliances and Friendships:

Lizzie and Gem

these two agree to team up if their teammates die. Since their teammates are idiots.

Remember, Lizzie is the one who made the stone shovel plan.

Spanners Vs Bammers

The Bam-Boozelers still hate the Spanners, dropping their reputation all the way to zero. Mumbo and Skizz either don't realise this or don't care. Grian was gone almost all session mining so can't really say what his thoughts on the situation are.

The Family - (Joel, Etho, Gem)

Etho is indoctrinated into yet another family, though he seems more willing to be present for this one. When Tuff Guys breaks up like 5 minutes into session 3, we all know where he's going.

Also Scar might also be part of the family though every else seems to just ignore this.

Spanners Vs Tango

The Spanners are really angry at Tango for accidentally killing Skizz. They seem satisfied with manifesting his death through belief, but it seems they haven't let him off the hook yet. We all know Bdubs won't help him

Joel might also be mad at Tango since he ate the wheels of his ugly car.

Mumbo & Jimmy still hate Renwood

Mumbo still doesn't trust Martyn after the enchanter fiasco and Jimmy attempts to get revenge for the cow theft. Ren and Martyn have chosen to ignore this, Mumbo seems to have forgotten he was angry, and Jimmy is satisfied that he got revenge.

Ren buys his friends

Ren bought Gem and Tangos friendship through iron. Will this hold up? No.

Gem has beef with team oblivious

Gem hates Pearl and Impulse this season. They are at the top of her inevitable murder list.

● The Final Girls came round for a visit

● Impulse was accused of stealing

● He said he wouldt stela since he knows what it's like to be stolen from

● Gem took this as him amusing her of stealing

● Scott cut him off before he could explain himself by saying he was purposely antagonising them

● Gem cut both of them off by ranting about how much she doesn't trust them

Stellar miscommunication guys, great job as always. Please never change, the series would be way less funny if you did.

Pearl also made it worse by trying to Poison Gem 30 minutes later. Woopsie.

Neither Pearl nor Impulse notice that Gem hates them and the others refuse to tell them.

[jellieland]

(Spoilers for. Real life?? I guess???)

---

Five figures stand, solemn, at the celestial summit of nowhere. They discuss matters of great import, and observe the fragile gossamer thread that is all that surrounds them, and-

Oh. No, nope, nevermind. They're just arguing again, aren't they.

"-don't know what you expect ME to do about it!" snaps the Red One.

"I don't know, Grian, how about literally anything?" asks the Scarlet Moon, raising an eyebrow.

"I mean, you could at least tell us what's going on out there," says the Ruby Star. "I don't think that's too much to ask, Grian."

"Riiight, like that'll help," says the Bloody Victor, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, for goodness sake, Martyn, do you have to make this difficult every single time?" snaps the Red One. "Anyway, we've got loads of time to work this out. It's only just started, even if it was a bit earlier than I thought it would be," he grumbles, irritated.

"Oh! Look!" calls the Coquelicot Loner, from where he is peering away from their circle at something that would look, to anyone but the five present, entirely indistinguishable from any other patch of the universe. "They must be done! Someone's coming!"

"What?" The Red One frowns. "Don't be ridiculous, Scar, there's no way-"

A brilliant beam of starlight shoots down from the heavens, and tears through their little circle like a formula one car cutting through the middle of a picnic.

It leaves behind...

Huh.

What. What is that.

There is... a. Person? But the proportions are all wrong, nothing this world has ever seen before. The limbs are mismatched, twisted, not quite connected. The movement is... disturbingly smooth, except when it jerks and jumps at seemingly random moments.

Whatever they are, they regain their balance, look around, and... laugh. "Oh, hey guys!" they say. "You know, I really didn't think this counted. But here we are, I guess!"

"Mom?" says the Coquelicot Loner, squinting at her. "Why are you short?"

"Oh my god, Scar, you can't just ask people why they're short," says the Ruby Star, apparently on autopilot.

"Yeah, and, uh, not to be rude, but more like why are you an eldrich horror? But, like, more so than usual?" says the Bloody Victor, backing up and looking rather alarmed.

They raise an eyebrow. "Oh, we're doing this now, are we?" They shake their head. "You know what this is perfectly well. We did another game, and I won. Deeply surprising, I know, but here we are!"

The Scarlet Moon tilts her head. "I mean, not that it's not nice to have you here, I guess, but that seemed real quick for a whole game, Cleo."

"Yes, thank you Pearl," says the Red One, narrowing his eyes. "I quite agree. Just how violent WAS this one that it's already finished? And WHY was I not informed?"

Cleo laughs. "To be honest I don't think anyone expected it to matter. And, I mean, sure it was violent, they always are, but it was all pretty light-hearted to be honest! Not a lot of drama, you know." She looks around, and seems to remember something. "Oh, Scott, I let a zombie kill you at the end! Sorry about that, I didn't realise quite how low you were. It was pretty funny, though."

The Ruby Star blinks, and shrugs. "I mean, fair enough. Hey, that means Divorce Quartet is all here, now!"

The Coquelicot Loner squints. "...Does that make you my stepdad, Scott?"

"No," says Cleo.

"God no," says the Ruby Star. "For, just, so many reasons."

"Yeah, I am not doing that again," says Cleo.

"So... So, hang on," says the Red One. "You're saying, in your game, it was all just. Cool and fine and calm. No pain or blood or sacrifice. No agonising entangled web of alliances. No cold-blooded, cold-hearted backstabbing?"

("Hey!" says the Bloody Victor.)

"I mean there was plenty of blood, technically. And Martyn did sort of try to stab everyone in the back and then run away."

("...Yeah, ok, fine," says the Bloody Victor.)

"But no, not much emotional turmoil, all in all! It was pretty chill, really!" They glance around the circle. "It was nice to see Ren again, too! I think he was off roleplaying with Martyn most of the time, though."

"I'm going to kill you," says the Bloody Victor, despairingly. "How is that fair?!"

"Life isn't fair," says the Scarlet Moon.

"Oh, you-"

"Can you shut up for five minutes," snaps the Red One.

As the bickering continues, the Coquelicot Loner and Ruby Star sidle up to Cleo, avoiding her wavering, eldritch outline.

"So!" says the Coquelicot Loner. "How's dad?"

Cleo gives him a look. "Scar," they say.

He holds up his hands. "Ok, ok! Just asking!"

She shakes her head, not without affection. "Is this really all you do here? Just stand around and irritate each other?"

"No!" says the Coquelicot Loner, seemingly deeply offended.

"Yeah, pretty much," says the Ruby Star.

"Ok well that's stupid," says Cleo.

"Yes," says the Red One, having extricated himself from the continuing altercation between the other two. "This is extremely stupid." He claps his hands, drawing everyone's attention and finally ending the argument, for now. "All in favour of erasing the past few minutes from existence and pretending none this ever happened?"

"Aye," says everyone but Cleo.

"What," says Cleo.

"It means you get to go home and you don't have to stands around in a circle with us lot for the rest of eternity," says the Scarlet Moon.

"Oh. Yeah, definitely do that," says Cleo.

"Wonderful," says the Red One, and clicks his fingers.

...

Five figures stand, solemn, at the celestial summit of nowhere. They discuss matters of great import, and observe the fragile gossamer thread that is all that surrounds them, and-

The Coquelicot Loner speaks. "Well, that was fun, wasn't it! Do you-"

"I thought we just agreed that didn't happen, Scar," snaps the Red One.

Oh, ok. Alright, they're arguing again.

Yeah, we probably don't have to stick around and listen to this any longer, either. I don't expect it's going to change anytime soon.

[wannaeatramyeon]

Adventures of YOUR part time job in the Lookismverse

G/N. You work the graveyard shift in a convenience store. You meet bizarre characters on different nights. Part 1 | Part 2

The customers can usually be separated into 3 categories.

Drunks, students, and weirdos.

Unfortunately for you, lately the weirdos have turned into regulars. But fortunately the weirdos aren't so weird.

The one that made it a habit to check in on you, with the scars and the cheesy wink wasn't so bad. Jack, was it? You can't remember and it's been too long for you to ask. You awkwardly address him as 'you' and avoid any situation where you need to use his name.

He likes to ask how you are, tell a few jokes. Spirit undeterred even when you look at him with a blank face because bless his soul, he's not funny at all but at least he tries and he's a lot less weird than first impression.

He hangs around at odd times, then again you do only work at odd times. Telling you stories about this and that. Something about Big Deal, something about a guy called Sinu and something about another guy called Samuel.

It's difficult to keep track. It's like he wants to talk but he's cryptic and god, it's 4am who can blame you if your eyes are glazing over.

John, or is it Jerry, is waffling again. He seems to always be talking about Samuel. Who he apparently misses and wonders where it's gone wrong and hang on, he's never been explicit but you just had to know.

When he takes a breath to munch on a cookie, you ask, "Hold on, is Samuel your ex?"

Wait no his name is Jason, definitely Jason- freezes mid-chew, "Why would you say that? He's my friend!"

Joshua sprays crumbs all over you but you note how he doesn't say no.

(You think you see this Samuel one early morning. You’re pretty sure you’ve seen him before and man, he really looks like shit.

Looks like the breakup is getting to him too.

Poor Samuel and Poor Jim.)

.

.

But sometimes weirdos are just weirdos. 

It's ok. It comes with the territory so long as they're not in the habit of hurling abuse or whatever, you can deal with it.

In recent memory, there's only been two people that you have had to almost chase out with a broomstick.

You should have known they would be weirdos when one of them walks in in surprisingly teeny tiny purple camo shorts. Not that you're a pearl clutcher, but you're worried that one wrong move and he could be dangling out.

Besides. Purple. Camo. Shorts. Those words should never follow one after the other, and you repress a shudder at this guy's hideous dress sense when he comes up to you.

You thought the other one was alright, at least there's no hideous purple camo shorts in sight and his hair is nice (huh, this style must be popular, you’ve seen a lot of guys with this hair)-

But then he opens his mouth and asks for snakes and you think it's karma for judging camo-guy for his appearance when his friend is equally odd.

"We usually keep the snakes next to the ramen," you deadpan and the two men actually go to seek out the supposed snake (meat or pet purposes?) only to return moments later, empty-handed and looking confused.

"I think the snake is all sold out," Non-camo guy says as camo-guy glances around as if you might have hidden your snake stock elsewhere.

They must have thought you were stupid as you stood there opening and closing your mouth like a fish (or maybe a snake, do snake do these things), because come on, how are you even supposed to formulate a response to that?

Then you look at their eyes and also notice them looking snakey and surmise it must be some weird fetish thing. Pretending to be snakes and eating snakes and having pet snakes.

You want no part of this and tell them to get out.

.

.

"I'm Baek Hangyeol," a new face says, pointing to his ID badge pinned to the white coat. 

"Doctor Baek Hangyeol." He stresses Doctor and Hangyeol and you wonder if he is waiting for a round of applause.

You don't say anything but you do notice he looks like a teenager and what idiot would let a teenager operate on them. (Drunk, student, weirdo. He could be all three.) Doctor Baek Hangyeol must be bluffing.

You decide not to call him on his bullshit. 

"Cool," is all you respond with because you don't want another complaint for being too mouthy. You are half tempted to tell him you're not a doctor, that you just work here but that seemed kinda redundant so you keep your mouth shut.

"Do you believe in true beauty?" he asks when you finish bagging up his goods (a plain water with added minerals, a bottle of multivitamins and a protein shake) and you think what sort of question is that.

You give a halfhearted shrug and say "Sure" and he hands his business card over.

"If you're ever considering it," he tells you with a wild smile. After he has left you look down at the lettering, eyes zeroing in on ‘Plastic Surgery’.

Excuse me?! What is he trying to say?

You thought he was a weirdo but now he has firmly shifted over to asshole. You regret not telling him to go fuck himself while you had the chance. The complaint would 100% be worth it. Zero regrets.

On your break, you burn the card and feel a small sense of satisfaction.

.

.

A tall blonde guy with a creepy vibe (hold on, have you seen him before, he seems familiar. Then again, creepy blonde guys seem to be quite common around here-) walks in with the most billowing coat you have ever seen.

The entrance is kinda cool but the actual coat is kinda tragic with the cheesy red lettering and you wonder if you can pull it off any better than him.

You're still wondering about his coat when he's paying you, and hang on you have definitely seen him before because he says arigatou and hands over yen and you tell him no. Won only.

The idea of the coat, which has evolved into you fantasising about having a full blown cape, quickly loses its charm however, when the blonde gets caught in the automatic doors and you have to wrestle them open to free him.

Afterwards, you ask if he's ok, if he is harmed and can’t resist asking if the coat is ok too. You really don't want a lawsuit on your watch especially when the malfunctioning doors are not your fault.

Your kindness is repaid by him telling you he's not interested (what the fuck) and that his heart will not stray (again, what the fuck).

.

.

You accidentally eavesdrop on a couple of students lamenting about missing out on school work. You didn’t mean to eavesdrop ok, the aisles are tight and cramped, it’s a small space. 

You peek over, and the one with big ears (seriously, they are huge) is telling the one with his back to you (goodness, his back is huge too) that school is important and he’s got notes the other one can use. 

It’s sweet, you think. School is important and it’s good they recognise that. Nice of them to help each other out too.

When they both come to pay (holy shit, that’s a fuckton of chocolate milk), you’re surprised to find Big Ear’s friend, Big Back, looks anywhere between late 20s and early 40s but it’s never too late to catch up on education, you suppose.

You spend the rest of your shift feeling motivated.

.

.

“Going camping?” you ask the guy with the sandy blonde hair, chuckling nervously and ringing his items through. 

Either he’s going camping or he’s gonna kill and hide a dead body in the forest.

He’s pretty stoic, only giving you a curt nod. You can’t help but probe him a bit more. You’ve got a feeling that if or when the dead body turns up, you want to at least clear your conscience that you’ve tried your best so you make some more idle small talk.

You mention how you haven’t been camping for ages, not since you nearly burned your tent down and singed your hair after you tried to cook some marshmallows over a fire that turned out to be more of a raging bonfire (and might have awoken your pyromaniac streak, but you keep that to yourself).

The blonde guy actually pipes up and says “Master Taesoo would never do that.” 

You almost apologise out of principle due to how earnest he sounds, then he mentions something about how good this Master Taesoo is at catching and cooking snake and you wonder what the fuck is up with people and the snake obsession.

Either way, it doesn’t sound like someone is getting murdered. Only a snake (poor snake) so at least you can sleep easy later that day.

.

.

“Oh hi DG,” you say, “Sorry about your cryptocurrency falling through. Diegocoin was it?”

He blinks at you a few times in surprise and heavens above. What’s that saying, fool me once, shame on me; fool me twice, shame on you? This guy has fooled you exactly no times with his shitty disguises and his effort has substantially dwindled too. 

He has only put his hood up and you did think you might get mugged at one point-

It’s an empty store, for crying out loud. Who comes into an empty store in the asscrack of night with their hood up, not wanting to draw attention to themselves.

Then you notice the pink hair and shifty glance and duh.

“Is it the-?” he asks, putting his hood down and signalling to his hair.

“Yeah, it’s the-” you signal to your own head of hair. “Dude you really need to dye it if you’re going for subtle.” You pause, consider something, “Hold on.”

You walk over to the beauty aisle and grab the black hair dye.

“On the house,” you tell DG because this guy really has no self awareness.

.

.

“What do you mean no?”

“No." Your boyfriend peers down at you, arms crossed and at the end of his patience with you.

You open your mouth to argue- 

“No. You know nothing about Taekwondo. How can you work here?”

You look around helplessly at the studio. He’s not exactly wrong but you’re sick of dealing with the weirdos and the snakes and the creepy blondes. “But your dad-”

“I don’t care what that stupid old man says,”

“Taehoon!” Hansu scolds from the other side of the room, and Hansu's class of toddlers all whirl their head around to stare.

“I can learn?” you offer and Taehoon raises one skeptical brow.

“So you’re going to be a student?” You nod enthusiastically, “And we’re going to pay you for that?”

Oh. Damn. 

He’s got you there.

[m4y4wasnthere]

soc!reader x dallas winston hcs

cw: minor smoking mention, suggestive ones at the end

you were friends with Pony and Johnny because of Cherry

Pony and Johnny always would talk abt how tuff you were, Dallas once overheard them

He didn’t like you, he wasnt fond of the fact you were a soc, regardless of what pony and johnny said abt you. the only reason he didn’t hate you was because of how Cherry proved herself to be a good person

they had to beg darry to let you come over

you were wearing a white sweetheart top with some simple jeans. you loved pearl necklaces and was wearing a pink bow in your hair

when he first saw you, his first thought was how pretty you were. he liked the fact you were slightly dolled up just to meet your friend’s crew

“whats your name dollface?” dallas completely set aside his soc hatred for you

his reaction left pony and johnny shocked lmao “dal i thought you didnt lik-“ dallas shoved pony before he could finish his sentence.

you didnt hear alot about dallas, but you knew he was a hood who got into jail every other week.

you couldnt help but giggle to the nickname, “my name is y/n, nice to meet you, um dal is it?”

his heart fluttered at you calling him that. “uh- the name is dallas winston but yea, you can call me dal.” he tried and lean on the doorway behind him but he missed and slipped before quickly catching himself

he mentally facepalmed , he knew the gang was gonna make fun of him for this later

he loves seeing all your outfits and all the different accessories you have

you have a white/pink mustang and he engraved D.W + (ur initals) on it

you were a bit angry when you found it but it was small and hidden enough to the point where u decided u werent gonna get it fixed (you secretly thought it was cute the whole time)

hes snuck into your room plenty of times, and you love putting a bow in his hair

“cmon doll, y’know i dont wear this girl stuff” he sat on your bed, slightly sinking on the mattress.

“baby if you want to keep sneaking in here then yes, you do wear this girl stuff.” After the bow was clipped on, you kissed his cheek and he seemed to not mind anymore.

Tries his best not to get into jail as much anymore because you hate it. not only do you hate being separated from him, you want him to have an okayyy rep when he meets your parents

hes not completely sober (yet? lets hope 🤞) but he starts to limit how much he smokes since he doesn’t want to be a bad influence on you. If you guys are around each other, then he won’t smoke. Even if that means no smoking for a whole day or 2

you get super scared whenever he surprises you by walking to your house because you dont want him to get jumped by other soc’s

you were chilling on your couch when you heard someone knock on the door, you were in pretty floral silk-like pajamas and had your hair up.

you peeked before seeing your boyfriend. “Dal what’re you doing here? Did you walk here?”

“…yes, but im fine doll s-“

“Dallas Winston, I told you to not walk here by yourself, especially in broad daylight! What if you got jumped!” He walked in, and you locked the door. You crossed your arms, not stepping towards him.

he hates it when you use his full name, his head was down and he fake pouted. “ ‘m sorry doll, forgive me please. I’ll make it up to you.” He held his arms out for a hug.

As much as you wanted to stand your ground, you gave into his hug.

lets just say you guys were kissing.. alot, he promised to make it up to you 🤷‍♀️

He secretly loves saving up whatever money he has to buy you nice things, makes him feel like he actually deserves you. Probably would play it off by saying stuff like “saw this lying around and…” “i picked this up on the way…do you like it?”

His insecurity about if you actually want him and if hes good enough for you is pretty apparent. He doesn’t think you see it but you’ve caught on and make sure to tell him you love him a lot.

• suggestive ones •

Loves praising you, especially if your giving him a blowjob or right when the round finishes

“Your eyes are so pretty looking up at me doll”

“You’re taking me so well”

“You were so good doll, I love seeing you feel good because of me”

You once wore a pretty white lingerie set, and he couldn’t keep his hands off of you for hours

Teases you a lot about your matching bra/panty sets

“You matched for me doll?”

“The white sets’ my favorite”

Can’t get enough of your beautiful face, he once gave you a facial and ever since then, he always hopes you allow him to do it everytime

[sissylittlefeather]

Kinktober Day 4: Clothed Sex

Christmas Wish

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, cussing, kissing, oral sex (f receiving), p in v penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, public sex, guns

Word count: ~1.2k

Kinktober Masterlist

By the winter of 1970, you'd been with Elvis for nearly a year. He had a wife and child, but those weren't your problems; they were his.

You'd always been a bit wild and even a little careless, so it didn't bother you at all that he was married. When he was in your bed, he was yours and you were his and that's all that seemed to matter.

About six months into the relationship, if you could call it that, he started taking you places with him and calling you his girl. One of his favorite things was to take you somewhere and buy you something. You were a sucker for presents and he knew it. He loved to watch the way you would squeal and hop up and down and clap when he bought you something you wanted. Maybe it was childish, but it gave him a great amount of joy. He loved your wildness. It went well with his and you had a lot of fun acting like teenagers together.

That's how you found yourself here, at Kerr's Sporting Goods in Beverly Hills, one late afternoon in December. You'd been laying in bed together about an hour before, having just woken up since you kept a sleep schedule similar to his, talking about what he should buy you for Christmas.

"You want jewelry, baby?"

"Nah, I've got a lot of that. I want something different."

"Like what?" You look at him and pout.

"It's not special if I have to tell you." He smiles and kisses your forehead.

"Okay, okay. Let me think." You hum the Jeopardy theme song and he tickles you to make you stop. Then, his eyes light up. "I got it. Get dressed baby."

Now you're here in your favorite minidress, surprised to find yourself in a sporting goods store. You look around, not sure what he could possibly want to buy you here. He holds your hand and leads you to a glass counter in the back and that's when you figure it out. He gestures proudly to the handguns and says loudly.

"Pick whatever you want, baby!" You walk cautiously to the counter and look into the display case.

"E, I don't know anything about guns." He purses his lips, a little disappointed by your lack of enthusiasm.

"Well, honey, you know I'll teach you. I just thought you might like this since it's something different. Here. I'll get three out that would be good and you pick which one you want." You nod, still not sure about this. He talks to the man behind the counter and has him pull out two revolvers and a pistol. You're immediately drawn to the pistol. It's prettier than the other two and has pearl grips.

"This one."

"There's my girl." He smiles, makes sure it's unloaded, and hands it to you. Then, he comes up behind you and arranges you to be in the right stance. His hands on your body have you shivering and when he whispers in your ear, you are immediately wet.

"Wouldn't you like to shoot this, baby? Feel that power?" He presses himself up against you and you feel his growing erection. It's turning him on just to see you hold the damn thing.

"Mhmmm." You moan softly and he puts his hands on your hips and squeezes. The tension between the two of you grows and it becomes apparent that something has to happen, and fast. He nibbles your earlobe and whispers again.

"Should we go to the car?" You inhale sharply and turn in his arms to set the gun on the counter and talk to the man behind it. He stays pressed up against you, half because he's dying to feel you and half because he's using your body to hide his hard-on.

"Do you have a ladies room?"

"There's a bathroom back that way." He gestures to the wall behind you.

"Thank you, sir." Elvis pushes you towards the bathroom and you tumble giggling towards it together. This is another part of your wildness that Elvis loves. He can fuck you pretty much any time, any place. You never say no. In fact, half the time it's your idea.

You make it back to the bathroom and barely get it closed and locked before your mouths are pressed together, tongues tangling in a passionate kiss. He sets you on the counter next to the sink and goes to take your panties off only to discover you aren't wearing any.

"Baby!"

"What? I came prepared." He gives you a mischievous smile. He loves it when you do this.

"God, how did I get so lucky?" You don't have time to answer him though because he drops to his knees and pushes his tongue into your slit. You grab the back of his hair and lean back on the counter, giving him access to fuck you with his tongue. He brings you just to the edge of an orgasm, licking a slow circle on your clit and then stands up, wiping his face with his hand. Your hands go to the zipper of his pants and you open them just enough to pull his rock hard dick out. He teases you with his tip a bit while he strokes his foreskin back and forth.

"Quit teasin' me!" You whine. He kisses your lips and then whispers in your ear.

"You want this cock, baby?"

"Yes!!" You hiss impatiently.

"Well, okay then, ya brat." He grabs your hips and plunges himself deep inside you in one motion. You both moan loudly and push your foreheads together. "So good, baby. I love you."

"I love you too." You whisper and he slides out and fills you again, picking up a steady pace with his hips.

He's busy slamming into you, both of you panting and moaning when there's a knock on the door.

"Uhh, EP, you in there? They're shuttin' the store down soon."

"Okay. We'll be right out." He hollers at the door without slowing or stopping his motions. You both know you have to make this quick, so he licks his thumb and uses it to make circles on your clit as he fucks you. It doesn't take long for that to push you over the edge into an orgasm, the wave crashing over you and pulsing inside you in time with your heartbeat. He feels you throb around him and it's enough to send him over the edge too. He grunts and slams into you one last time whispering in your ear.

"Yeah, baby." He fills you with his release and then rests his sweaty forehead on your shoulder, trying to steady his breathing.

"You said you love me." You tease in a sing-song voice. He looks up at you and smiles.

"Yeah, and you said it back." You kiss the end of his nose.

"Because I do love you, Elvis." He pulls out of you and zips his pants, positively buzzing with energy.

"This is the best day. Honey, you pick as many guns as you want. Come on." The two of you walk out of the bathroom and he starts excitedly offering to buy things for everyone in the store. He yells at his guys to pick what they want and even tells the store manager to pick something. In his reckless joy, he ends up spending close to $18,000, but the two of you don't care. He loves you, and that's really all you wanted for Christmas in the first place.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

@ccab @atleastpleasetelephone @deltafalax @msamarican @angschrof @lustnhim @jhoneybees @polksaladava @searchingforgravity @librababe99 @hooked-on-elvis @theelvisprincess @peaceloveelvis @your-nanas-house @makethemorning

Anyone else want a Kinktober tag everyday?

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

Um, hi! Regarding that other anonymous asker wondering about the comic's enjoyability, I actually WAS one of the people who voted "I've never watched the show but I do read the comic" in that poll; all my prior knowledge about Steven Universe was from passive osmosis. I don't know anyone personally who likes it either, my baseline is limited to, like, the premise and 'hey I think that one's a major character?' every now and then (this was most recently Lapis Lazuli. Peridot I'm prettttty sure is canon, but I didn't recognise her right off. Betting that Sea Glass isn't. No clue about Jasper).

So if it's of any help, from my experience I do think that your comic is fairly accessible to folks outwith the Steven Universe fandom! I read long-form fanfiction for media I know nothing about on a regular basis, and it does a good job of explaining the core concepts required for the plot to hold water; it makes it much harder to spot foreshadowing that I feel may have been more obvious to experienced readers (e.g. I didn't get anywhere near working out Earl's issue because I didn't know that A. White Diamond could do mind control, or B. what societal role Pearl-class gems (is that the term?) hold relative to the Diamonds), but the actual narrative itself holds up well so long as you're willing to put the thought in. Actively following your blog helps a bit too, I've gotten extra context clues from the FAQ and asks you've answered.

My one warning would be that reading a long-form story for a fandom you don't know is a very different experience. The best way I could describe it is akin to reading Arthurian stories or folkloric retellings without studying the source material: while the main narrative is comprehensible, you become distinctly aware that certain parts are name-checking their original culture in a way that the author expects to be apparent but isn't, not to you. I spend a lot of time faintly baffled when I'm not cross-referencing between multiple fics for commonalities to reverse-engineer (also do that regularly, would recommend), which is fine! It's fun! Might not be for everyone, though.

I just want you to know I love this ask, and I was enraptured reading this. It's a very cool insight! Especially as someone with the exact opposite reading philosophy, this is extremely valuable.

It's neat to also get a confirmation about the fact that a lot of over-the-top stuff that was meant to echo the original show might not get pinged by those who aren't familiar with the original. Though to be fair, people didn't quite pick up on what was happening with Earl even when they knew what White Diamond's powers were.

I also find it hilarious to realize that Jasper might not be a recognizable original-show character to most outsiders. DEMOTED!

[lolli-popples]

The Missing Link in Scott's Characterization

(Wrote this in a random document and I think it's good so I'm loosely transcribing it here)

These are some of my thoughts on a crucial facet of Scott's character in the Life Series that I think is overlooked by the fandom.

From my personal viewpoint, people put a lot of emphasis on Scott's caring about his allies over everything else. I think this is an important characteristic. However, I think this being shown as the most central trait is a detriment to how people read his involvement with the overarching narrative. It might be less of a problem if he wasn't directly involved with the final fight of nearly every Life Series.

Because of this combination of things, his main interaction with fans' reading of the final fight is being willing to do anything to make sure his friends win. It gives people the tendency to attribute some victories partially to him, which upsets people who want main read of the story to focus entirely on the winner. But this also has meant that one of Scott's main traits is overlooked.

Just as much, and often, more than Scott values his allies, he values fairness. To showcase this, let's look at Limited and Last Life, where he had the most control on how the final fight took place.

In Last Life, when it's down to the final four, Scott *could* have teamed up with Pearl, his ally all season, to kill Martyn and Ren. That aligns with wanting either your or your allies to win, no? But he doesn't. He suggests they split to the 4 corners of the map and have a fair fight on equal footing. Very fair.

With Limited Life it's even more apparent. Scott and Martyn have an impressive amount of time. They could both still die multiple times. Impulse is running out, and there's a numbers advantage. They could have killed Impulse and Scott could have let Martyn win, or Scott could have given Martyn his time to fight Impulse alone. But instead, he suggests they all go down to the same amount and have a fair fight.

In both situations, Scott puts fairness *over* an alliance victory. Even though Limited Life didn't end up ending fairly, that had nothing to do with Scott.

Double Life certainly has the strongest claim on Scott "letting someone win". That his death is an apology for abandoning Pearl.

But if you listen to what Scott says in the finale, he never apologizes. He says he didn't think they'd get this far, he says she deserves this more than him, and then he says the iconic "Tilly death do us part."

Scott didn't fight Pearl. But I don't think it came out of remorse. I think that too, came from a sense of fairness. Which is that Pearl, by all accounts, DOES deserve this win. If they fought it would basically be up to a draw. To chance. Scott has every chance of winning. But if you go over the events of Scott's final episode, he mostly runs. He survives. While Pearl 1v2'd two separate pairs and won! The only reason Pearl hasn't killed Scott already, who has been her enemy all season, is because they were randomly assigned to be soul-linked. A concept Scott has fought since the very beginning. He knows that while he never hurt their chances, Pearl is the reason they are here, and Pearl is the reason he is here. It wouldn't be fair for Pearl to lose to what is basically a coin flip. So, he doesn't leave it up to random chance.

So yes, Scott is loyal and does care about his allies, he proves that again and again. But the way he is involved in how the series end shows that his sense of order and fairness are equally important. Also, I think viewing his contributions from this angle help remedy some of the reasons people don't like his usual characterization because of how it effects the agency of other characters.

[uhoh23]

Person A - I think he's a Wanderer

Person B - DEMON

Me - THE DRAGON KING HAS ARISEN MY BRETHREN

NGL I was originally leaning more towards the demon theory bc there's a lot of evidence for it, but the problem that I have with the demon theory is that it now feels TOO obvious, like the devs are trolling like how they joked about him being a vampire. All three main theories make sense tho - demon, wanderer, or dragon.

There's so many demon implications - 1. The N109 zone being a lawless place that apparently has little sunlight, hence why there doesn't seem to be many plants, making it sound like the underworld bc the underworld probably wouldn't have much life in it, its another version of Hell. 2. Sylus' flower is the Datura, sometimes known as the "Devil's Trumpet." 3. Demons love deals. They trick humans and according to Christian lore, hate humanity. Sylus enjoys using people, even with the good in him. He's always trying to get something.

Point is, it kinda seems TOO on the nose...but the dragon theory is less obvious for me. I would have NEVER thought he was one until I did my research on Chinese mythology 🤣 AND BOY DID I FIND some INTERESTING things. Let's start with the most IMPORTANT point - In Eastern mythology, dragons can shapeshift between human and dragon. There's TWO dragons in particular that stood out to me - Fuzanglong and Longwang.

Fuzanglong - Dragons of hidden treasure. They live underground and hide gemstones, golden nuggets, their most prized possession a magic pearl. Has horns, demonic looking eyes, and dark red is associated with them. Sometimes known as "Keeper of the Underworld." They can cause volcanic eruptions when awoken or when they leave the underground. Elusive to humans.

Sylus and the color red go hand in hand. Couple that with the "treasure" talk that reminds me of Nightplumes due to Sylus saying "A man's heart goes to where his treasure is." Just like a dragon protecting his treasure. Sylus also enjoys gifting MC gems as a gift 🥺 There's also that scene where it looks like MC is underground, blood on her hands, and lava seeping through the ground. This ties to the volcano aspect and the underground aspect of this particular dragon.

The Dragon King - IT GETS WILDER. A guy named Longwang could shapeshift from dragon to human at will. He was the source of rain. His human form had red eyes and his dragon form typically had red scales, but some artists would opt for other colors. Longwang was the king of all dragons, immortal, and eventually he became a God in the story of the Lotus Sutra. His dragon form had wings, claws, and horns. He had four dragon brothers who could also shapeshift, lived in a luxurious palace in the sea, and he ate gems. Longwang was benevolent usually, but he was known to have a bad temper and be intimidating. He also apparently had thousands of kids 🤣

Sylus - has red eyes, he's intimidating to most, gets annoyed easily with most, can't die (or so he claims), the gems thing again, and he's rich. He very well could be a God with his crazy healing abilities and apparent immortality. The Lost Oasis card specifically brings up God's and Longwang played a significant role in a Chinese literature piece called Investiture of God's.

Last, but not least, Sylus' zodiac sign...I find it FUNNY how COINCIDENTALLY this man is an Aries in the Western zodiac, yet in the Chinese zodiac the Aries equivalent? IS A DRAGON. Just search up "Aries in the Chinese zodiac" 💀🫣 The devs did their zodiac homework bc Sylus has MANY of the Aries traits, so who's to say they didn't purposely choose Aries due to it's ties with the Dragon zodiac?

Aries Traits - love the chase in romance and they view crushes as a conquest to conquer, domineering, competitive and hate losing, adventurous, natural leaders, very straightforward, dominant. Dragon Zodiac - natural leaders, adventurous, very straightforward, competitive, can be arrogant, impatient, impulsive 👀🤣 Granted, maybe none of this proves he's a dragon, but I think this stuff is super interesting nonetheless 🖤

[thecoolerliauditore]

What are your thoughts on SL Gem? I’m genuinely interested to hear your take on her character.

So first off I haven't fully watched Gem's SL POV, nor do I feel totally confident talking about her in a traffic series sense since she's lacking screentime even more than Ren. So this one's gonna be less grain of salt and more. salt mines. do not take it seriously

Gem's character to me is defined by her bravado and natural affinity for leadership but also by her pseudo-crush on not Pearl, but Scarlet Pearl specifically.

I feel like I've made too many cynical jokes about gempearl being evil to me, I don't think they're like. Bad for eachother necessarily in fact incorporating HC into things they're one of the pairs in the series I personally headcanon as hanging out post-horrors (not necessarily in a fully fledged capital r Relationship just. they're hanging out).

But I do think there's something very fangirl-ish about the way Gem idolizes Scarlet Pearl and encourages Pearl to lean more into the character, when Scarlet Pearl has always been more of a coping mechanism. Like, whoa that thing you did to protect yourself and only made things worse is SO COOL. Which is both what is really genuinely awesome about gempearl and what is really scary about it. To me at least. Gem takes all the things Pearl hates about herself and thinks they're Awesome, Actually but doesn't understand why Pearl hates those things in the first place and how they hurt both her and the people around her.

It's all bookended really well too, since Gem despite all her efforts still ends up on the other end of Pearl's knife in the final episode and suddenly it's not so awesome anymore.

On the non-pearl-related side of things, Gem kinda lands in the same hunger games career-esque personality that I box people like Scott, Joel and Martyn into in that she's very much in her element in the death games (until she's not).

I've seen people say she reminds them of how the cast acted back in 3L and SL being her introductory season i.e. her having not quite yet experienced The Horrors would make that make a lot of sense. Especially when she takes death very lightly until her allies start permadying (e.g. her happily accepting Scott's sacrifice and even hitting him around for fun at one point and leading the zombie apocalypse task but being a mess when Scott asks her to kill him the last time). There's this great contrast with her being incredibly confident and capable yet very naive.

The misogynist in me wants to see her knocked down a few more pegs but at the same time she already kind of has. Idk I hope the asuka-coded behaviour rears full-blast next season instead of kind of being in the background. It would be awesome. character arcs and whatnot.

As for like. more miscellaneous headcanons. I think there's pretty much a bit of boy inside every girl but Gem especially I like to think over-performs aspects of femininity to "make up for" her uber-competitive personality. Everything she does is underlined with insecurity to me, apparently. She's also a lesbian.

[sixteenth-days]

Vampire pearl for a prompt?

"Hey, guys, have you seen- oh!"

Pearl raised her head, long ears twitching in surprise, and Impulse glanced back over his shoulder towards the entrance, wincing slightly as he did. "Oh, hi, Gem!" he called. "What's up?"

Gem, standing in the doorway of the keep, had her eyes notably averted, staring very hard at a patch of floor. "Sorry!" she said, flushing. "I didn't realize you were, um. Busyyyyy?"

Impulse blinked, confused. He stayed confused as Pearl started to shake with silent laughter where she was kneeling over his lap, clapping one hand to her mouth to keep from making a mess. "What? Gem?"

Pearl, after a moment, finally managed to swallow her mouthful of blood and gasp out, still laughing, "No, it's not like that, Gem! Promise!"

Gem's eyes flickered back up, finally, and widened. "Impulse! You're bleeding!"

"No! ...Well, yes," Impulse admitted. Pearl twitched, apparently reminded of the line of punctures now freely bleeding down his neck, and dove down to hastily lick up the drips with approximately the same haste as someone eating a rapidly melting ice cream cone. "It's fine, though! I'm fine!" he hastened to add. "This is, uh. An arrangement we've had since last season."

Pearl nodded against his neck, licking the bite mark clean before sitting up to face Gem over his head, propping her bony elbows on his shoulders. She looked, to her credit, distinctly sheepish. "It's a vampire bat thing," she said. "I don't need a lot of blood, but about, eh, once a month or so? And Impulse is a big guy." She patted him on the shoulder. "He can usually spare me plenty."

"You only love me for my robust circulatory system, is that it?" Impulse said, grinning.

"Excuse me! You're also good for moving heavy objects," Pearl objected.

"Ohhh-kay," Gem said, finally leaving the spot where she'd been frozen by the door and walking over. "You should've just said! That's way less weird than what I thought I walked in on."

"...Is it?" Pearl asked.

"Wait, what did you think you walked in on?" Impulse said, at the same moment.

"Well, sure," Gem answered Pearl. "Deer are omnivorous, you know!" She grinned, all teeth, vaguely threatening.

"Hm," Pearl said thoughtfully, crossing her arms on top of Impulse's head. "Say, do you know your blood type?"

[flowerandblood]

The Pearl and the Sapphire (4)

[ modern! • Aemond x Baratheon! • female ]

[ warnings: sex content, oral sex, fingering, smut, angst, sexual tension, obsession ]

[ description: As a representative of a large family-owned gemstone business, Aemond is attending a major jewellery event where jewellery makers from all over the world are exhibiting. One of them is the Baratheon family. Aemond is tasked with focusing on attracting new customers, but his attention is diverted by the youngest daughter of the eminent maker Borros Baratheon. Slow burn, bitchy, possessive and obsessive Aemond, lots of dark angst and sexual tension. ]

A story which is an alternative universe of The Impossbile Choice taking place in modern times. The characters are all the same as in the main series, however, for obvious reasons they will behave differently and experience things differently from medieval times. You can read this without having to delve into the main series.

Series moodboard: Aemond & Miss Baratheon

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Previous and next chapters: Masterlist

______

As soon as she entered his room she wondered in her slightly unsober mind what she was actually doing. She watched as he took two wine glasses out of the kitchen cupboard and walked towards the open living room, while she thought strenuously about whether he would add something to her drink if she just went to the toilet for a moment.

She knew nothing about him.

He was a stranger to her.

She was snapped out of her reverie by his low voice, the look in his healthy eye dark and expectant.

"What does he want from you?" He asked directly, without any warning, as if they had known each other forever, and he was her friend to whom she was about to tell her heartfelt dilemmas.

She swallowed quietly at the thought, moving slowly towards the couch and sat down on it. Targaryen immediately sat down next to her, but not too close, allowing her to keep her distance. He poured what was left in the bottle into their glasses, waiting patiently for her response.

With a trembling hand, she opened her clutch bag and took out her phone. She unlocked it and began to read the messages she had received from Cregan.

She swallowed loudly, struggling to hold back tears, locking the screen back, putting the phone again in her purse. She couldn't believe in what she just read, her heart pounding like crazy, her head humming from the wine and stress.

She had spent so many months getting herself together, to accept the fact that he didn't want her, and now he claimed he had changed his mind?

"Question for question." She said abruptly, looking at him tiredly. She recognised that if she was to externalise herself to him, he had to reciprocate.

They knew nothing about each other.

He looked at her intensely for a moment, indecision painted on his face. He was apparently considering all the pros and cons, but in the end he grunted and nodded. She looked down at her hands.

"My ex-boyfriend wanted to be my friend. Months later, when I finally got myself together, he decided he had made a mistake. That maybe we should get back together after all." She choked out with difficulty, reaching for her glass and taking a loud sip from it. She saw that he moved restlessly, playing with his fingers stretched out on his knee, tense. She felt he wanted to say something, but she didn't give him the chance.

"You and the woman you were with at the banquet. Are you two together?" She asked uncertainly, arranging herself comfortably on the sofa, taking a sip of wine, looking at him intently. She saw his whole body tense up, he wasn't looking at her but ahead.

"No." He replied coolly, immediately pressing his glass to his lips.

"Why did you break up?" He asked almost immediately, and she twisted in her seat feeling her heart pounding.

She felt shame.

Why did they break up?

Because she was insufficient?

Because he wasn't ready?

She lifted her legs and tucked them under her thighs, changing positions slightly and sighed quietly.

"He wanted to have some more fun." She said quietly, feeling him give her a sudden, surprised look and move as if he wanted to say something.

"Are you sleeping with her?" She asked suddenly, looking down at her glass, which she held in her hands.

She needed to know.

She needed to know who she was dealing with.

He was silent for too long for her to realise what his answer would be.

"Yes." He said, but there was a kind of withdrawal and uncertainty in his voice that surprised her, as if he really didn't want to admit it.

She looked at him thoughtfully recognising that he was a very insecure man hiding behind a mask of indifference and coldness. She concluded that there was no point in her trying to understand him or his relationship. She opened her mouth wanting to ask at last the question that had been pressing on her lips since she had entered his room.

"Why did you want us to come here?"

He looked at her horrified and went pale, swallowing loudly, twisting uncertainly in his seat, looking away. She pressed her lips together, feeling that they both subconsciously knew answer to this question.

She thought that there was nothing wrong with what they wanted. Since he claimed he wasn't in a relationship with his assistant, and she wasn't in a relationship with Cregan, they were free people.

She looked at him, at his scarred cheek, at his artificial eye. She looked at his jaw, at his nose, his mouth, his hair. He was handsome, he was dark, cold.

She thought he attracted her.

“You can say it. It’s okay.” She said quietly and softly, wanting him to know that she wasn't judging or condemning him, that she appreciated how honest he was with her. She knew what she could count on and what she couldn't and it gave her a kind of security.

She saw him lick his lips nervously and move his shoulders, swallowing hard without looking at her, playing with the glass in his hand.

“I want it.” He whispered almost silently, his lower lip trembling as he spoke the words.

She lowered her gaze at his words, embarrassed, feeling her insides pulsate involuntarily at the very thought of what could happen between them. She lifted her gaze to him and, seeing that he still couldn't look at her, she set her glass down, moving closer to him, sitting on her knees.

She saw him look at her surprised and horrified as she grasped his large hand gently, her thumb running gently over his soft skin. They were both warm from the alcohol and the tension. She saw him swallow quietly, then lean back and set his glass down on the table.

He looked at her as if hesitating, and after surprising her by grasping her face in his hands, he moved closer to her, looking at her with slightly parted lips.

Only now could she see his scar more clearly, his glassy, artificial eye and the healthy one looking at her with a hazy, dark gaze.

She thought she was not afraid of him.

That she wanted to touch him.

When he leaned towards her she moved closer to him, their lips brushed uncertainly, tentatively. They both sighed and kissed again, just as gently, unhurriedly, as if to see if they liked the feeling, his lips firm and warm, tasting of wine. She threw her arms around his neck and he purred into her mouth, emboldened by the gesture.

Only now did she feel that he was much bigger than her, taller even than Cregan, she had the feeling that he encircled her whole person and she felt safe with that thought.

"– I want to taste you –" He whispered and she felt a powerful shudder, her insides clenching helplessly around nothing. "– will you let me? –"

She felt shame at the thought of how much she wanted this.

She couldn't hide what was happening between her legs. As soon as he slipped her underwear off her thighs he could see what his words, his temper and his appearance were doing to her. He touched her leaking entrance gently, watching carefully for her reactions. She shuddered and moaned helplessly, delicate and hypersensitive.

He did what he wanted with her, teasing her clit with his thumb while sinking his finger into her hot entrance once in a while. She breathed loudly, trying to meet his expectations and answer his questions.

"− what made you so wet? − hm? − messages from your ex? −" He hissed, his finger sliding in and out of her with a perverted, sticky click of her own wetness. He tightened his lips as soon as she squirmed at his words, turning her head away, writhing beneath him.

"− answer me −"

"− no −" She mumbled with difficulty, and he hummed under his breath with the satisfaction, leaning between her thighs. She couldn't stand his subtle caresses, she hadn't expected him to be so gentle, the tip of his tongue teasing her entrance and clit, barely slipping in between her folds.

"− I fucking knew it − I knew you would taste wonderful −" He exhaled, pressing his nose against her warm womanhood. His tongue slided suddenly into her swollen, fleshy interior, licking her shamelessly, her hands tightened involuntarily on his hair pressing him closer, a quiet mewling came out of her mouth.

She was horrified at how close she had come to fulfilment, at how easily he had brought her body to such a state.

When she came on his face she lost touch with reality completely for a moment, panting loudly, clenching her eyes shut, the tickling heat spreading throughout her body, loosening her muscles.

She looked up at him sleepily when she heard the sound of fabric being unfastened and saw that his hands were at his zipper, his pupil dilated, his gaze thirsty and hot.

"You still want this?"

She nodded.

She let him carry her onto his bed, his arms holding her gently and tenderly. She hugged his neck and felt a pleasant buzz in her head as he laid her down on the sheets. She swallowed loudly as she watched him put a condom on his swollen, hard manhood and pressed her lips together at the thought of actually doing it.

She felt her insides pulsate again at the thought.

Her heart was pounding like crazy.

He leaned over her, his gaze full of something she couldn't name. It was dark, murky, but warm at the same time, full of affect, although she didn't know why. For some reason she sensed he would not be violent towards her and she felt a momentary relaxation.

"– already during the show I was wondering how to get you into my bed – how tight and hot you must be inside –" He exhaled, guiding the tip of his cock against her hypersensitive entrance. She opened her mouth, drawing in a deep breath at his words.

Already during the show I was wondering how to get you into my bed.

That's why he was looking at her like that.

She felt a strong shudder pass through her at the thought.

When she felt him inside her she closed her eyes, sighing with effort and relief at the same time. He was big and pulsating, pushing her tight walls to their limits, making it hard for her to catch her breath. He looked at her as if he couldn't believe they were really doing this, his lips parted in an accelerated breath.

They both moaned in surprise at as he began to move inside her, slowly at first, as if he wanted to savour this moment and the feeling of her throbbing, warm walls.

After a moment, his hips began to accelerate, stretching her insides to the limit, pulsing on him with desire. She had already forgotten how wonderfully pleasurable it was, her lips parted in accelerated gasps each time he rubbed the point inside her that made her hot.

"− oh, baby −" He exhaled, speeding up, entering her with a loud, wet slap of flesh against flesh, looking at her with an expression of delight on his face.

She wasn't sure if Cregan had ever looked at her like that.

She felt her insides tighten around his length at that thought, with every thrust he made, the slap of his thighs against her buttocks, it felt better and better, as if she realised that she really did want this.

She wanted him.

She touched his cheek with her palm as he leaned down and kissed her tenderly, deeply, devotedly, pressing his forehead against hers.

"− you like it when someone takes care of you, don't you? − when someone fucks you properly −" He gasped fucking her faster and faster, she felt the whole bed creak beneath them, his hands clenched tightly on her hips, his body focused only on pushing his cock into her again and again.

She felt the heat in her lower abdomen reach its zenith again, a mewling sound erupted from her mouth that was also meant to be a pathetic confirmation of his words, her lips parted wide.

"− I'm gonna cum now, okay? − I'm gonna cum inside my sweet little girl −" He exhaled and she nodded quickly, feeling his words between her thighs, sensing that her fulfilment was rapidly approaching, that just a few more of his movements and she would come again.

"− oh, yes, please −" She mumbled, feeling his hand begin to tease her clit again.

They both moaned loudly into each other's mouths, feeling each other's orgasms, she heard him sigh helplessly as he felt her core clench violently against him again and again, his cock twitching and pulsing inside her in fulfilment.

Looking misty-eyed at his face, at his clenched eyes, feeling his nose pressed against her cheek, his lips trailing over hers, his trembling hot breath enveloping her skin, some part of her regretted that he had to use a condom, that she couldn't feel his semen inside her. She blushed at the thought, panting loudly, embarrassed at the idea.

They stroked each other's faces with their palms, breathing fast and trembling all over, trying to calm each other down, when suddenly someone started pounding on his door with their fist.

"Aemond? What the fuck? Who the fuck are you in there with?" She heard a raised, distraught female voice and looked at him with big eyes, horror on his face, he shook his head quickly, his mouth formed the voiceless words 'be quiet'.

"Aemond!" The woman started pounding on the door and pawing at the handle, she felt her whole body start to quiver, she sobbed quietly. He laid on top of her and embraced her as if he wanted to comfort her and protect her from what was happening.

"You fucking bastard! Are you fucking this little girl? This little slut? God fucking damn you! How could you do this to me!" She heard her angry voice followed by sobs. She herself began to cry hearing it, in her head the words she had spoken.

Are you fucking this little girl?

This little slut?

Why did she feel like a whore if they weren't together?

"What have we done?" She asked in a terrified whisper, feeling his lips pressed against her temple.

"Shhh." He hushed her by stroking her head, she could feel his heart pounding hard.

He was as terrified as she was.

She cried out quietly in his arms hearing her for a moment longer, and then she heard someone in the distance open and close the door loudly.

Complete silence ensued.

She swallowed loudly, his hand steadily stroking her head snuggled into the hollow of his neck, only after a moment did she realise he was still deep inside her.

Seconds later he lifted himself up on his elbows, glancing down at her most likely to see what state she was in. She could see that he was also shaken, both of them looking at each other breathing unevenly.

"You can sleep here if you want. I'll give you my shirt." He said uncertainly and she blinked, her lips slightly parted in disbelief.

He was proposing that she stay with him for the night.

Probably through remorse.

She shook her head and saw that an expression of disappointment flashed across his face, his jaw clenched tightly, his nostrils moved anxiously.

"I can't. I'll be up all night dreading that she's coming here again. I won't sleep a wink." She explained in a trembling voice, wanting him to know that this wasn't about him. He swallowed loudly at her words and nodded, then slowly pulled himself out of her.

She gasped in discomfort and clenched her eyes shut, feeling a sudden chill and emptiness inside her, his hand stroking her cheek reassuringly.

"Shhh. Wait here a minute, okay? Don't go anywhere." He said pulling up his trousers and getting out of bed to disappear into the bathroom a moment later. She sat on his bed only now feeling that her whole body was shaking from stress, her eyes burning from crying.

A minute later he came out of the toilet, a wet towel and a glass of water in his hand. He handed it to her, his hand with the damp material slipped between her thighs. She clenched them, frightened, but he looked at her calmly.

"Let me. I don't want you to leave my room in this condition." He said lowly, and she felt a warmth spread over her heart that she didn't want to feel at all.

She relaxed her hips and felt the warm, wet towel wipe her clean of all her sticky juices, bringing her relief and comfort. She involuntarily took a few deep sips of water from the glass feeling her throat dry up after what had happened.

As soon as he finished he rose and she stood up with him, covering her thighs with her dress, moving on shaky legs towards the sofa to get her underwear, putting it on quickly. She felt him watching her alertly as she picked up her clutch bag and his briefcase of documents.

As she moved towards the entrance, putting on her shoes quickly, he followed her, doing the same as she did.

"What are you doing?" She asked surprised, fatigue, terror and alcohol mixing in her head.

"You don't think I'm going to let her catch you alone in a corridor somewhere after that scene, do you?" He asked coolly, and she swallowed loudly.

She saw him quietly grab the doorknob and open the door silently, leaning his head out, looking around. He nodded for her to follow him and they both started for the stairs, not wanting to wait in plain sight for the lift.

They climbed to her floor and only then did she feel relieved. However, they both froze and stopped in mid-step when they saw her father emerge suddenly from his room, apparently heading for her brother's apartment.

When he saw her, her tear-stained face his brow furrowed in a way she knew all too well, his accusing gaze falling on the Targaryen standing beside her.

"What happened?" He asked expectantly, she could feel her heart pounding hard, she thought she had to think of something quickly.

"Cregan has been nagging me all day and I felt bad during our conversation. Mr Aemond was kind enough to offer to walk me to my room to make sure I was okay." She mumbled being on the verge of crying again, looking at her father pleadingly.

He muttered under his breath and nodded at Targaryen, putting his arm around her and saying 'thank you for your concern'.

Before she entered her room she glanced at him apologetically over her shoulder, their tired gazes meeting for a moment before he turned and started down the corridor in the other direction.

Her father began to question her about what was going on and ordered her to show him what messages Cregan was sending his daughter. Feeling that she needed to somehow make her story credible she showed him textes she had been receiving from him throughout the day.

"Couldn't he finally decide on something? Why is he messing with your head like that? I'll talk to his father when we get back." He said angrily, ignoring her pleas for him not to do so and that they were no longer children in kindergarten. When her father left, angry and shaken, she called Royce quickly.

He was in her room after a few minutes.

He walked in smiling, but seeing her state and her red eyes he immediately furrowed his brow, looking at her anxiously.

"What's wrong? Cregan?" He asked walking up to her, putting his hands on her shoulders, as usual physically showing her his support. She pressed her lips together at his questions.

"Not only that." She whispered with a blush of embarrassment and shame not believing what she was about to say.

"I slept with someone." She mumbled, burying her face in her hands, shaking her head. Her brother threw her a confused yet amused look.

"Well… I told you to have fun. I just hope he didn't hurt you? Do you regret it?" He asked bending down to her level as if to see what the look in his eyes betrayed. She looked at him helplessly, lowering her hands.

"I slept with Aemond Targaryen…"

"WHAT?"

"…and when it was all over his assistant, who he is sleeping with but is not in a relationship with, started banging on our door when she heard us, screaming and crying." She mumbled out quickly on one exhale, wiping quickly the tears that were again flying down her cheeks, her brother looking at her in disbelief. He ran his hand through his hair, shaking his head.

"I, God, this is totally fucked up. If they're not together then why did she make him a scene?" He asked rhetorically.

"I have no idea! Maybe there's more to her than that though. She was already looking at me at breakfast after I exchanged a few words with him and I'm afraid she knows it's me. That she's going to say something to our father." She said in a trembling voice, Royce pressed his lips together.

"Has she seen you?" He asked uncertainly.

"No, but our father saw me and Aemond when he walked me to my room. He wanted to make sure this woman didn't catch me anywhere. I told him he only saw me off." She explained brokenly, seeing her brother's horrified gaze.

He let out a loud breath, burying his face in his hands as if he felt immense relief. He put his hands at his sides, looking at her with a mixture of awe and disbelief.

"Well, my little sister, I see that when you do have fun, you do it with pomp." He said amused and she burst into laughter at his words, somewhat relaxed by the fact that she had told him, that she didn't have to carry this burden alone.

Before bed she took a quick shower, wanting to refresh herself after what they had done. She realised to her surprise, standing under the drops of hot water falling on her body, that she didn't regret what she had done after all.

She couldn't erase his touch, tell herself that it hadn't been pleasant, that it hadn't given her pleasure.

She thought, sighing, that they were both adults, they had done what they wanted, and now their paths would part and everything would go back to normal. She thought she would call Cregan tomorrow and explain to him exactly how she felt, and if that didn't work, she would just block his number for a while.

She came out of the bathroom in her pyjamas and involuntarily reached for her phone wanting to see if Cregan had written anything else. She was surprised when she saw that she had received some direct message on Instagram from a strange account, but it didn't look like spam. She opened it and started reading.

She swallowed loudly feeling her heart pounding.

A.

Aemond.

She felt relieved and hot in her lower abdomen at the thought that he had found her, that he had made the effort just to write her that.

She knew that he must have seen that she had displayed the message and she didn't want him to feel that she was pretending that nothing had happened. She took a long time to respond and deleted and rephrased several times.

She felt a shudder when she saw that he had immediately displayed her message and wondered if he would write anything more. She felt a stab of disappointment when nothing appeared after a few minutes but decided it was still nice of him to write to her.

She shuddered when she heard the sound of a vibration, a notification displayed on her phone that she had received a new message on Instagram. She unlocked her phone with her heart pounding hard, wondering why it excited her so much.

She thought maybe it was because he seemed so withdrawn, dark, silent, and now he was talking to her of his own free will.

She pursed her lips as she read this and swallowed loudly.

He opened up to her.

He talked about his relationship.

She rolled over on her sheets, sitting up, thinking deeply about what she should answer to that. She didn't want to judge him or ask too in-depth questions, but she wanted to understand him.

She finally replied, her heart tightening.

Will this answer upset him? Was she too direct? She flinched as her phone vibrated again.

A short, cold answer. She swallowed loudly, sighing softly, not knowing whether she should write more or not.

She pursed her lips as she read this. Somehow their relationship was as complicated as hers and Cregan's. She wondered if she should advise him something.

She blinked, feeling her heart pounding hard.

Exchange of mutual benefits.

Objectification.

Had he done this to her today to make her go easy on his grandfather's deal and convince her father to sign it?

She swallowed hard at the thought.

He didn't answer her question for a very long time and she slowly started to fall asleep in her bed. She suddenly jumped up when her screen lit up after several minutes.

She pursed her lips as she read the messages that appeared quickly one after the other. She thought he had finished the rest of the wine that was left in his room.

She fell asleep almost immediately after sending the message, the alcohol numbed her completely and made her not wake up until the morning. She flinched when the alarm on her phone started ringing and she turned it off, glancing at the display. She saw then that she had received another message from him.

______

Taglist

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[ivys-garden]

Life Series Session Recap and Alliance Report: Session 5.

I can't believe they added mettaton to the life series.

Another week means more chaos in the block. This session has the wild card of… morally dubious trivia robots falling for the sky? OK?

It did mean we got more Life Series Oli and we got to find out how little our idiots actually know about their own series. So that's something

But hey lots of stuff that will affect the future of the season happens here, so let's stop dilly dallying and get to it.

The Final Girls (Cleo, Scott, Pearl, Impulse… Bigb!?)

Apparently Scott's desire to keep the team together is stronger than we thought, as despite having no good reason to, he allows Bigb to come back into the crew. Bigb does later try and fail to abandon them for Renwood, but it's the thought that counts.

Also established in the opening to this session, Scott is fully enabling whatever Pearl wants to do… provided what she wants to do is not hide a death pit from him.

No, what Pearl wants to do is murder people, and she has plenty of options since everyone wants to antagonise the girls this session. First Mumbo shows up to mace Cleo in the face, then Gem lures Cleo into a death trap & then Martyn explodes everyone but Pearl.

Naturally Cleo wants to get even with these pesky killers, and when Cleo wants to get even the flames are soon to come. Gem's Barn and Martyn's home are burnt by Cleo & Scott, and yet somehow everyone ends up chilling in the end, with everyone actually agreeing that they're even and that they should stop trying to kill each other. So yeah, no harm, no foul….

Except Ren, he got his house burnt down for no reason.

On the topic of revenge on martyn, Pearl tries to avenge her team by putting Martyns crystal trap back on him… only to blow herself up in the process. What follows might be Pearl's most pathetic showing in the life series as she repeatedly fails to trap Gem or kill Lizzie, still ending the session in red. Scott and his martyr complex come through in the end though and Scott gives one of his life's back to Pearl in a way that mirrors the powdered snow torture or yesteryear, only much wetter.

Oh yeah Impulse was here too. He was trap building’, he was bot nappin’, he was beepin’ N’ boopin’, and he gave up a Trident to acquire a new member… we'll talk about that washout later

Also congrats on Bigb finally getting diamonds, took you long enough.

Also also congrats on Cleo for getting the most difficult question in Trivia correct!... it was 50% a guess and they had help but shhh

The Family. (Gem & Joel)

Yeah I'm calling them the family now. Not because that's a good name, but because while Joel continues to be fast, Gem is no longer furious.

Yes, in this episode the Gals-Fam drama begins to sorta maybe kinda possibly come to a close. It starts with Gem admitting the drama was made up for the sake of having drama and being funny, something most of us guessed since if you think about the drama for more than five seconds you realise how silly and ultimately inconsequential it actually is.

The real amend making starts where all amends are made, in the smouldering remains of your home after the prison you lured into a trap burns it to the ground. Yes if they had not been interrupted by exploding, Gem and the Gals would have called each other even right here. Luckily Gem gets another chance to do this later as Pearl failing a task and having her mouth removed stops her from trying to eat Gem alive for long enough for the two of them to have a chat. In this chat that Pearl has literally no say in, it is agreed that once the two of them go red, they'll “have some fun”. Sp yeah, in the future we are looking at meminiun at a temporary alliance between Pearl & Gem.

(Also Gem and Joel try to get Pearl to betray Scott, which marks the second time this has happen this season)

In other stuff Gem builds possibly the worst tower I've ever seen. So I'm happy Cleo burnt that down. Of more consequence she also builds their very own Creeper spawner. Very dangerous in the hands of Joel.

Speaking of Joel he has a rollercoaster this session. He has many notable successes such as creating two hidden cow spawners, a chicken farm and braving the never to get Potion ingredients. But he also got his ugly car exploded by Skizz and got smashed and banged by Tango.

He did manage a three block jump over Etho's head though so I'd say this was his best session of the entire life series.

Renwood (Martyn & Ren)

Rambert last session when I said Scott probably regrets being teamed with 3 little chaos goblins? Yeah translate that to Ren this session. Martyn is an absolute menace and there is no way Ren will achieve his goal of “extinguishing the evil within this man”. Martyn is tricking folks into messing up Trivia, he's killing Gem with creepers despite being allied, he's killing The Gals right after seeing Cleo burn down Gems entire base, he might be the most chaotic one here.

That isn't to say Martyn doesn't get his narrative comeuppance, he gets ravaged off his own base and exploded by Pearl, but Ren still gets a lot of bad vibes his way due to Martyns actions. At least he can still rely on Jimmy to be his friend and not burn his house down on accident.

Speaking of burning, good luck doing that now. The mound has officially been flattened, no longer teh Ren Mound it is now In-The-Little-Lake and has been flooded with water in a rare showcase of a Ren plan working and being a big brain move overall.

However, while creating the lake, the most important discovery was made

THEY FOUND THAT STUPID HORSE! WOOOOOOOOO

anyway.

The Tuff Guys (Tango, Bdubs & …Etho?)

Bdubs starts the episode being objectively wrong about a game he's played for decades.

Due to his bad leadership last session, Etho takes over and immediately starts try harding, requiring everyone to get stacks of food, iron, the souls of the damned and probably other stiff to tbh I wasn't listening. Luckily neither were Bdubs or Tango so we're good

Speaking of Tango, despite getting of to a rock start of sucking and being pathetic, he does manage to get two pretty impressive kills on Joel, once with a mace and another with creepers. He also manages to stick a snail on Skizz by botnapping him while he was distracted by his, Impy and Pearls robot voice. He failed every other single trap he tried but it's something.

Now, more important horse news, Bdubs got his!... Etho immediately killed it since it was better than his. But bdubs got a new one! He needed 3 people to help him on it since he acquired the big curse at the time but he got the horse!

While he wasn't being a try hard, horse killer, or stunt ramp, Etho was off performing a very important task, Betrayal! But is it betrayal if they openly admit they won't help you or share their stuff? Yep Etho has made moves to leave the Tuff Guys, being the second member to do so, only with more success than bdubs. So, did he go off to his family? Nope. He went off to become one of the Final Girls. Etho officially joins that team and all it cost them was a Trident. How will this go over with the Family and the Tuff Guys? Who knows. That's the growth thing about the life series: everything is stupid and nothing is predictable, so don't worry!

The Bamboozelers (Jimmy, Scar, Lizzie)

Everyone says these 3 are doomed… including me I said that. But we all are wrong, these 3 are being extremely big brained and brave.

Let's start with Lizzie, she helps the team come up with a safety code word to bring people back up the mountain. She braves the Nether. She builds an ender porter to bring people to Bam Mountain safely & she survives several attempts on her life, including one from Pearl. She only falls into two traps, being killed by Skizz and having her Bot hidden resulting in the return of her snail. She also had one failed plan, a Drowned spawner plan to get Trident Drowned to kill people for Jimmy, but not a bad showing.

It's a toss up between Gem, Joel and Impulse for who will win, but I'm gonna go all in and sat Lizzie wins, just because I want her too.

Then there's Scar who makes some great diplomacy plays. Despite a rocky start to their relationship that might have actually caused the desertduo side of tumblr to explode, Scar and Grian are able to work out a peace deal between them, Scar gets a mace and in exchange they don't kill each other. Scar gets a lot more than just a mace though, he gets what he's always wanted: Friendship.

He also manages to get the Enchanter back and finds a great hiding spot for it. On top of this Scar also strengthens pre existing alliances with Gem, Martyn and Skizz, even helping Skizz in a Fast Na Furious style boat race to reclaim his out bot.

OK, Jimmy… yeah tbh Jimmy kinda underperformed compared to last session. He got toured by trivia bot, died to the ravager instead of checking his hotbar for his pearls, failed repeatedly to kill Scott and also killed himself in Impulse's lava trap. He got no kills this session and all his traps failed. He did blow a massive hole in the side of the Final Girl's tower for no reason tho.

Gem, seeing this utter failure tried to help Jimmy kill Scott, only for him to sacrifice himself to Pearl. Now Jimmy is in the hard possession of killing his family or his teammate. But hey, as long as he isn't first out, he's won

And on that note…

The Spanners (Grian & Skizz.)

…Let's start with skizz. He was really good! He got a good kill on Lizzie and one on Bigb too. Bigb wasn't Dark green but he's certainly got the spirit. He should also be kept away from the Bam Lands from now on, he gets spotted there way too easily. Scar isn't even that observant, it's kinda embarrassing.

Skizz does also do some alliance work, vowing never to kill Lizzie again due to how much he hates doing it. Lizzie repays him by literally babying him and dumping him on Ren.

Then there's Grian, he and Mumbo were able to collaborate revenge on Scar, even though he was too big and Mumbo couldn't speak. They buried Scars Bot Super low and neither he now Ren could find it.

And than, somehow, eSCARgot returned.

Feeling bad for an incredibly cheap kill, Grian did work with Scar to set aside there differences and create an alliance. Now with revenge off the agenda, all that was left was getting Mumbo a life.

Grian built a great tower, and within it built two super speedy tnt launchers. These were incredible basketballs for destroying the tower bdubs spent all session building, but in terms of netting kills for Mumbo… not very good.

Mumbo fell off that tower trying to get a kill.

Mumbo, desperate for a kill, begged Gem to die.

And when Gem was walking down the stairs with Jimmy, Mumbo got too desperate.

Mumbo died in a machine made to save him. Mumbo died in front of grian. Mumbo died and everybody just watched. Hell, Jimmy celebrated. He laughed. Because now there was no denying the curse was broken.

Skizz will mourn all of the next session. Grian will not. He will be consumed by the Dark rage within him. Jimmy should watch his back…

Kinda like Mumbo should have watched his back for that minecart, Amiright?

[greenconverses]

Richard saying, "we're going to end up in the same place, it doesn't matter how we get there" pissed me off so much ISN'T "HOW WE GET THERE" THE ENTIRE POINT OF STORIES?! ISN'T THAT WHY THE ENTIRE DAMN BOOK EXISTS?!

So, shocker, I have Thoughts about this post of his. My knee jerk reaction when I saw it last night was an eye roll and an urge to rant, which I kept contained because I'd already ranted and we gotta space that stuff out from time-to-time.

And now that I have had a full night's sleep and I am slightly less cranky, I'm gonna have to go on record and... DEFEND part of his logic, gasp.

For those not in the know, RR wrotes this reply to question on Threads (lol) a few days ago about changes to the plot in the sixth episode that apparently bugged a lot of people:

And like, I'm deeply annoyed about the "it won't change anything" bit because OH MY GOD STORYTELLING which is a whole other thing but I do have something to say about the man's logic and the difference in the show premise vs the books that I think is flying over a lot of people's heads.

The plot of the show is Percy saving Sally and doing a quest along the way. Sally and Percy's relationship is the A plot, the mythology and conflict among the gods is the B plot. Percy knows from 1x02 that his mom is alive and that changes his priorities immediately; we see him start to care about the overall quest and his place in the world in 1x05, but he's still pushing forward because of his mom. You have to add another pearl to pay off that A storyline, to promise audience members that Percy is going to succeed until he doesn't.

Percy in the books has a feeling his mom is alive or that he can get her back from the Underworld, but doesn't know for sure. The quest and the setting up the overall Big Three backstory is the main plot of the books and what we the readers are focused on. I wouldn't even put saving Sally as a B or C plot in the original TLT. Percy doesn't get confirmation that she's alive until they're down in the Underworld and Hades reveals he took her for leverage, so then only having three pearls becomes a brief but important conflict.

This is where we're seeing a lot of the issues with the show's plot come to a head. It's fine to change the priority of the story from returning the bolt to saving Sally, because it delivers the same result in the end anyway, like Rick says. But you have to bulk up other parts of the script in a way to make up for it and the show has not delivered on that part. (See exhibit A: my rant about any lack of mystery with the monsters.)

I think the most egregious change that he says doesn't matter is the trio missing the deadline. In the books, we're told that natural disasters and weird things have been happening since the bolt disappeared as Zeus and Poseidon fought, and stuff was getting worse the closer the deadline came. We are briefly shown this in 1x05 with Ares and in 1x06 with Luke saying things are "bad" at camp, but imo, it doesn't feel super heavy. The consequences of missing the deadline is that gods go to war and bad shit happens! Lots of mortals are gonna die! Doesn't that matter?

The show could've stepped outside of the Percy and Sally storyline for little bit to give more of a perspective about what was happening at camp or the outside world to bring that weight - you're not limited to just Percy's POV storyline in the medium of a TV show! (Of course, we can step outside of it to give a LMM cameo/stinger because priorities but I digress.)

They didn't and I'm not sure how they're going to "solve" Zeus's response to Percy missing the deadline 'cause like... this is the unreasonable king of the gods that Rick has started yet another series based on the premise of him being a petty bitch who wants to ruin Percy's life. Is the guy gonna walk back starting a war? Is he waiting to start because Poseidon asked nicely? What's the consequence to the world going to be? Clearly nothing, since Rick said the story is going to end how it was always going to end, which is just poor storytelling.