#soc!reader

[anifever]

𐙚˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 you gotta stop sneakin’ through my window, dal.

god, could your room be anymore pink? .ᐟ ₊˚⊹♡

[only-lonely-star]

can you do dallas winston x soc reader where she invites him over to her house and it’s super pink and girly and he wants to look at every little thing! love you’re work btw!

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ Pretty in Pink . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

Warnings - Pure fluff. Established relationship between a soc!fem!reader and Dallas Winston.

Summary - If it were up to him, he would never leave your room ᯓ ᡣ𐭩

Author’s Note - Thank you so much for this request!!! I’m truly so happy to hear you love my writings, it means the world to me 🫶🏼. I sort of took ‘house’ and turned it into bedroom, so I hope this is still okay skhfhsjjs 😭. I had a lot of fun with this one, I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do!! 🩷🩷

Word Count - 1.1k.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

Applying a thin layer of tinted gloss, you puckered up and smiled upon the reflection in your vanity mirror. The white, wooden piece blended with the rest of your room perfectly as it leaned against the floral wallpaper adorned in patterns of pink peonies. Pink - you were certain there wasn’t a color as perfect as the pastel hue that flooded your room. As a finishing touch, you doused the sides of your neck in a fancy perfume, one that cost a fortune. The bottle was, of course, a baby-pink heart with a white ribbon tied around it. You felt ready to take on the world.

Leaned against the windowsill of your bedroom, your eyes longed to catch a glimpse of that rusted, old Thunderbird that Dallas typically took you around the city in. You could hear it a mile away, the noisy vroom of the vehicle, and the screeching shrill of its breaks. The stars cast a beam of light against the pavement to your driveway, ensuring he’d find his way there eventually.

Although you loved him to death, this boy had never spent a second in this house past your doorway. Tonight was different - he wasn’t dropping off flowers, knocking on your door to shower you in drunken kisses, or even luring you into his car to sneak out for the night. He was staying over. In your bed. Staying in your girly bedroom. Just at first glance, it was clear Dallas was no softie. He didn’t care for frilly pink bows or dainty jewelry, he was as masculine as they came. A hint of nervousness formed at the pit of your stomach as your brain worked double-time to map out every negative outcome possible. Maybe he wouldn’t like it, it would be too overwhelming - the possibilities were endless.

Just as these thoughts began to overwhelm you, the repetitive ring of your doorbell brought you back to reality. He was here. You raced for the front door without a second thought, leaping down the staircase, taking two steps at a time. Once you had reached the door, you flung it open with excitement, only to wrap your arms around his figure. He wore a cocky grin, a classic expression he often used in moments like these. You felt the jerk of his body as he stifled a laugh. “I saw you yesterday,” he commented wittily, slowly running a hand up and down your back.

You stood on the tip of your toes, planting a kiss on his cheek. Without waiting a second longer, you snatched the boy inside with a simple yank to his arm. “Come on, get out the cold, Dal,” you teased.

Dallas glanced down at his boots, giving them a quick stomp or two before taking a look around. “So this is your little mansion, huh?”

“Mansion,” you scoffed in reply. “This ain’t even the best part! Come on upstairs with me, I’ll show you my room.” You ran a hand up and down his sleeve as a signal for him to follow your lead.

Dallas let out a low whistle, slowly making his way up the staircase. His eyes darted in every which way, gliding his hand the entire way up the wooden railing of the staircase. “Shoot - I’d sure like to live in someplace like this.”

“Yeah? Well, you’re living in my room tonight,” you responded cheekily, biting back a smile. As you reached the final step, you guided him down the hallway which led to a number of bedrooms, each decorated in their own unique way. Dallas poked his head in each one, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion as to which was yours. “Dal, it’s this one.”

He whipped his head around, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Continuing to follow your lead, he carefully took in the new environment. Pink, flowers, ribbons, lace, hearts, dolls - it all hit Dallas like a tidal wave. His dull eyes were now filled with excitement at the sight of it all. “Jesus Christ,” he scoffed, “l think you might like the color pink.”

Letting out a burst of laughter, you ushered him inside. “Who would’ve thought, right?”

Dallas’s attention was immediately drawn to the white jewelry box with flowers painted along the side. He curiously stepped closer. He traced his finger along the woodwork, whistling lowly, “This a dollhouse or something? Looks like it would be for a-.” His attention diverted quickly, just before you could correct him. Dallas smiled in fascination as he caught sight of a small ballerina placed on a shelf near the closet doors. He inspected its fine details, running his fingers along the figure.

Before his interest was sparked again, you decided some commentary was needed. “That’s actually a music box, if you look at the bottom there’s a little knob.”

Dallas had his fingers twisting relentlessly around the knob before you even finished that sentence. He set it back down on the shelf, watching the little dancer spin around as the steel comb inside produced a delightful sound. “No fuckin’ way…” his voice trailed off in awe.

“You like that?” you chuckled, standing beside him to observe the figurine. It felt strangely comforting seeing Dallas with such youthful wonder in his eyes.

“That’s so cool, man, I want one,” he shifted his gaze from the music box back to you with a genuine smile.

“I have to show you this doll, I’ve had it since I was…five? I don’t know,” you spoke excitedly, dragging him towards your bed.

Kneeling beside the bed frame, you reached underneath it to retrieve a box. This box was worn out, each crease and wrinkle in the cardboard, a sign that it was well-loved over the years. Out came a porcelain doll, dressed in a white, ruffled dress with a lacey bodice that was colored in a soft shade of pink. Her hair was blonde and curled to perfection, a small bow added to accessorize her faux hair. Dallas stood over you, his thumbs in his jeans pockets. “She’s gorgeous, I bet that thing is worth more than my life.”

You gently stroked the back of her hair, admiring the delicate fabric of the miniature dress. “Hell- who knows?” You began to pack the doll up once more, hearing the shuffling of Dallas’s feet along your carpet. You paid no mind to this at first, assuming he was checking out more of your belongings. It was only then, that you stood up to find Dallas cozied up in your bed underneath a heap of fluffy pink and white blankets, holding a teddy bear against his arm. He had thrown on a satin sleeping mask adorned with small red hearts. Dallas had truly made himself at home, despite standing out more than any unique decoration in your room. He had a field day in your dollhouse of a room.

“How do I look?” he asked playfully, adding a hint of sass to his voice.

In adoration of a softer side you’d never seen before, you pounced onto him as you let out a giggle, wrapping yourselves in the plush blanket. “You look so pretty in pink.”

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING!! I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS ONE!!! 💋

- Sophia 🫶🏼

[m4y4wasnthere]

soc!reader x dallas winston hcs

cw: minor smoking mention, suggestive ones at the end

you were friends with Pony and Johnny because of Cherry

Pony and Johnny always would talk abt how tuff you were, Dallas once overheard them

He didn’t like you, he wasnt fond of the fact you were a soc, regardless of what pony and johnny said abt you. the only reason he didn’t hate you was because of how Cherry proved herself to be a good person

they had to beg darry to let you come over

you were wearing a white sweetheart top with some simple jeans. you loved pearl necklaces and was wearing a pink bow in your hair

when he first saw you, his first thought was how pretty you were. he liked the fact you were slightly dolled up just to meet your friend’s crew

“whats your name dollface?” dallas completely set aside his soc hatred for you

his reaction left pony and johnny shocked lmao “dal i thought you didnt lik-“ dallas shoved pony before he could finish his sentence.

you didnt hear alot about dallas, but you knew he was a hood who got into jail every other week.

you couldnt help but giggle to the nickname, “my name is y/n, nice to meet you, um dal is it?”

his heart fluttered at you calling him that. “uh- the name is dallas winston but yea, you can call me dal.” he tried and lean on the doorway behind him but he missed and slipped before quickly catching himself

he mentally facepalmed , he knew the gang was gonna make fun of him for this later

he loves seeing all your outfits and all the different accessories you have

you have a white/pink mustang and he engraved D.W + (ur initals) on it

you were a bit angry when you found it but it was small and hidden enough to the point where u decided u werent gonna get it fixed (you secretly thought it was cute the whole time)

hes snuck into your room plenty of times, and you love putting a bow in his hair

“cmon doll, y’know i dont wear this girl stuff” he sat on your bed, slightly sinking on the mattress.

“baby if you want to keep sneaking in here then yes, you do wear this girl stuff.” After the bow was clipped on, you kissed his cheek and he seemed to not mind anymore.

Tries his best not to get into jail as much anymore because you hate it. not only do you hate being separated from him, you want him to have an okayyy rep when he meets your parents

hes not completely sober (yet? lets hope 🤞) but he starts to limit how much he smokes since he doesn’t want to be a bad influence on you. If you guys are around each other, then he won’t smoke. Even if that means no smoking for a whole day or 2

you get super scared whenever he surprises you by walking to your house because you dont want him to get jumped by other soc’s

you were chilling on your couch when you heard someone knock on the door, you were in pretty floral silk-like pajamas and had your hair up.

you peeked before seeing your boyfriend. “Dal what’re you doing here? Did you walk here?”

“…yes, but im fine doll s-“

“Dallas Winston, I told you to not walk here by yourself, especially in broad daylight! What if you got jumped!” He walked in, and you locked the door. You crossed your arms, not stepping towards him.

he hates it when you use his full name, his head was down and he fake pouted. “ ‘m sorry doll, forgive me please. I’ll make it up to you.” He held his arms out for a hug.

As much as you wanted to stand your ground, you gave into his hug.

lets just say you guys were kissing.. alot, he promised to make it up to you 🤷‍♀️

He secretly loves saving up whatever money he has to buy you nice things, makes him feel like he actually deserves you. Probably would play it off by saying stuff like “saw this lying around and…” “i picked this up on the way…do you like it?”

His insecurity about if you actually want him and if hes good enough for you is pretty apparent. He doesn’t think you see it but you’ve caught on and make sure to tell him you love him a lot.

• suggestive ones •

Loves praising you, especially if your giving him a blowjob or right when the round finishes

“Your eyes are so pretty looking up at me doll”

“You’re taking me so well”

“You were so good doll, I love seeing you feel good because of me”

You once wore a pretty white lingerie set, and he couldn’t keep his hands off of you for hours

Teases you a lot about your matching bra/panty sets

“You matched for me doll?”

“The white sets’ my favorite”

Can’t get enough of your beautiful face, he once gave you a facial and ever since then, he always hopes you allow him to do it everytime

[r0seb100d]

Come home late at night and baby picks me up

Tell him just drive on and don't ever stop ౨ৎ

[bluephoenixgirl]

Sheriff’s Daughter

Dallas Winston x SOC!Reader

Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual References, Adult Themes, Controlling Behavior, Make Out Session, Sexual Contact, Smoking Tobacco, and Possible Grammar Errors. (Sorry if I forgot any!!)

Summary: Y/N is the daughter of the town’s sheriff so she knows a lot about Dallas Winston. Little does she know that she’s got the attention of him. When she finally comes face to face with Dallas her father tells her to stay away but, the hold Dallas has on her makes her disobey her father’s order.

Word Count: 1,639

Author’s Note: Enjoy 😊

Dallas has always been the type of guy that is full of trouble and sometimes that trouble leads to him getting arrested. Dallas always does what he can do to not get caught but sometimes Dally actually gets caught on purpose. Dallas has a terrible reputation with the town’s sheriff. But what keeps bringing him back is the sheriff’s daughter.

Y/N is very close with her father, so she knows all about the horror that is connected to Dallas Winston but when she saw him for the first time she fell right under his spell. She knows Dallas isn’t the perfect guy to have feelings for and no matter how many times she’s told herself that he’s full of toxic right when she crosses paths with him, she falls right back into that trap.

They haven’t spoken a word to each other yet because Dallas is waiting for the perfect time and place.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Y/N was making her way to the police station to get her lunch money from her dad before heading off to school. Y/N was hoping Dallas wasn’t going to be there. Her crush on the greaser has been becoming more intense than ever. Y/N has been having dreams about Dallas and the most recent one she had things got very steamy.

When Y/N walked into the police station she immediately saw Dallas. He was getting checked out since he’s obviously spent the night in the jail, again.

When Dallas saw Y/N his lips curved up into a smirk. Y/N could feel her heart rate speed up when he started to walk towards her. “Hey, it’s Y/N, right?” Dallas said with a flirty smirk. Y/N was completely in shock since this is the first time he’s ever said something to her. Y/N was tongue tied so she just gave him a nod. Before Dallas could say anything else a stern voice called Y/N’s name.

When Y/N and Dallas looked in the direction of the stern voice they saw Y/N’s father standing there with a stern look on his face. He had his arms crossed over his chest. “I’ll see you around, doll.” Dallas told Y/N with a wink. Y/N watched Dallas Walk pasted her and out the doors of the police station.

“Y/N!” She heard her father say to her again. Y/N looked over at her father. That stern look on his face quickly turned from sternness to anger. “My office, now!” Sheriff Y/L/N told her with sternness in his voice. Y/N walked to her dad’s office with him following class behind her. Y/N walked into the office. “Sit!” Sheriff Y/L/N told her shutting the door to his office. Y/N did what he told her to do.

“What was that I just witnessed out there?” Sheriff Y/L/N asked walking towards his desk. He stood in front of his desk and leaned his back against it. He was standing right in front of Y/N. “Dad, he was the one that came up to me.” Y/N told him. “Don’t give me that bullshit!” Sheriff Y/L/N said in a snappy tone. “I saw the look you had in your eyes.” Sheriff Y/L/N added. “Dad-” Y/N started to say but her dad immediately cut her off.

“No, listen here young lady. I talk you listen.” Sheriff Y/L/N told her standing up straight. Y/N just gave him a nod. She knows not to talk back to her dad. “That boy is bad news. He’s like the devil in disguise and I don’t want my little girl anywhere near him.” Sheriff Y/L/N told her. Y/N couldn’t help but feel like her dad is over exaggerating but of course she wasn’t going to say that out loud to him.

“You are not allowed to go anywhere near Dallas Winston.” Sheriff Y/L/N told her in a demanding tone in his voice. “Do I make myself clear?” He asked her. “Yes sir.” Y/N answered with a nod of the head.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

During the whole school day Y/N couldn’t help but keep thinking about what her father told her, but she couldn’t keep Dallas out of her head either. It was finally the end of the school day and Y/N had to stop by her locker to put some of her books in there. She was walking down the hallway with one of her best friends named Cherry. Y/N is a year older than Cherry, but they do share many classes together and also hang around the same friend group. Cherry was talking about something, but Y/N wasn’t even listening.

When they got to Y/N’s locker she put in her combination unlocking the door. When Y/N opened her locker a folded-up piece of paper fell out. “What the hell is that?” Cherry asked her. “Obviously a note.” Y/N said with a hint of annoyance in her tone as she bent over to pick the piece of paper up off the floor.

Y/N unfolded the piece of paper. “What does it say?” Cherry asked her in a curious tone. “Meet me at the lot after you get out off school signed D.W.” Y/N read the note out loud to her. “Wait, D.W. as in Dallas Winston?” Cherry asked hoping Y/N says no. “Maybe.” Y/N said with a shrug of her shoulders as she folded the piece of paper back up. “Y/N, please tell me that you aren’t going to go meet him.” Cherry said in a pleading tone. “Okay, what is the problem?” Y/N asked with frustration in her voice. “What do you mean what’s the problem?” Cherry asked her in confusion. “Have you not heard about the horror stories that are connected to Dallas Winston?” Cherry said which made Y/N roll her eyes. Y/N took some books out of her bag and put them into her locker.

“He’s the baddest greaser in town. He’s dangerous!” Cherry told her and again Y/N rolled her eyes again. “Glad you believe everything you hear on the streets.” Y/N said finishing putting her books away and looked over at her. “Y/N, I’m telling you that going to the lot to meet him is a bad idea.” Cherry told her. Y/N closed her locker shut. “I’m a big girl Cherry.” Y/N started as she put the piece of paper into her bag.

“I can handle myself and I ain’t afraid of Dallas Winston.” Y/N told her and walked past her.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

As Y/N walked to the lot she could feel her nerves starting to pace like they did this morning. Y/N isn’t known to be a shy and quiet girl. When she’s around her friends she’s outgoing but when she’s around Dallas she’s the complete opposite. She knows Dallas has a control over her. This is the first time she’s ever disobeyed her father’s orders.

When she arrived at the lot, she saw Dallas standing there with a lit cigarette in his mouth. When his eyes landed on her he smirked. He took the cigarette out of his mouth and tossed it onto the ground. He stepped on the cigarette and walked over towards her.

“Glad you decided to meet me.” Dallas told her. “I wanted to finish our conversation from the police station.” Dallas added. “Okay, what did you want to talk to me about?” Y/N said in a soft voice. “I actually wanted to ask you a question.” Dallas told her.

Every word that came out of his mouth made her want to melt like a snowman. That thick New York accent that he has definitely has a big effect on her.

“What is it?” Y/N asked him. “I was wondering if I could take you out tomorrow night.” Dallas said locking his eyes onto hers. “Go out as in on a date?” Y/N asked him. “Like a date.” Dallas answered with a nod. He noticed the uncertain look in Y/E/C eyes. “Come on, doll.” Dallas said putting one of his hands onto one of her arms. Y/N looked away from his eyes and at his hand that was on her right arm. “I know you like me.” Dallas said which made her look right back up at him. “Y-you do?” Y/N said stuttering a little bit.

“What? You don’t think that I don’t notice you eye fucking me in the police station?” Dallas asked her. Y/N couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed, so she looked away from him again. “It’s okay, doll.” Dallas reassured her. He used his other hand to lift her chin up so that she was looking back into his eyes. “Don’t shy, Y/N. Tell me you like me.” Dallas told her as his lips curved up into a smirk. “I like you.” Y/N told him.

Dallas moved his hand from her chin to her cheek. He leaned down and smashed his lips down onto hers which took her by surprise. The kiss started out slow but didn’t take long to heat up. No, this wasn’t Y/N’s first kiss, but this was the first time she’s ever made out with a boy. As they made out Dallas’s hands made their way down to her hips. He would give her hips a light squeeze. When Dallas pulled out away from the kiss Y/N couldn’t help but let out a little whine which made Dallas let out a chuckle.

“What do you say, doll?” Dallas asked her once he caught his breath. “We going out tomorrow night?” Dallas asked her. “Yes.” Y/N answered without any hesitation.

“Meet me back here tomorrow night at eight.” Dallas told her letting go of her hips. “Okay.” Y/N said in a soft voice. Dallas gave her a wink. He turned to walk away but before he took a step he said one more thing. “Oh, and one more thing.” Dallas started. “Wear something sexy.” Dallas told her and walked away.

Y/N watched him walk away. “Fuck, that was hot.” Y/N said to herself.

[thesuntomyshadows]

Y/N: Anyone else have the weird urge to lecture themselves?

Y/N, mimicking Kaz: Y/N, what are you doing?

Kaz: *Walking up behind Y/N* Y/N, what are you doing?

Y/N: I conjured him.

[the-dumpster-fire-of-life]

Y'ALL

WE HAVE GOTTEN FEEDBACK FROM HBO MAX AND HAVE THEIR ATTENTION TO SAVE SHADOW AND BONE AND GIVE US OUR SIX OF CROWS SPIN OFF

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE SIGN THE PETITION TO SAVE SHADOW AND BONE AND OUR CROWS TO GET OUR SPIN OFFS AND MORE, THE SCRIPTS ARE COMPLETED ALREADY BEFORE NETFLIX CANCELLED THEM

SIGN THE PETITION TO HELP SAVE SHADOW AND BONE AND OUR BELOVED CROWS

Save Shadow And Bone

[slvbum]

ᤢ ♥︎ 01⠀ ⸻ shades of cool / rafe cameron!

content WARNING: Bodyguard!Rafe (28) × Model!Reader (20), mentions of military.

Rafe wasn’t built for babysitting.

The thought of trailing some spoiled model like a goddamn guard dog made his skin crawl. He’d turned down the job twice, flat-out refused, actually, but the money was too good, and the agency was desperate.

Y/N’s manager had practically begged him.

“Nobody wants to guard a model,” she’d whined, oblivious to the reasons why.

Rafe knew, though.

Models were all the same; prissy, entitled, sneering at anyone who didn’t orbit their glittery little world.

And he’d rather be back in a warzone than play lapdog to a diva.

But here he was, standing in the sprawling living room of a Manhattan penthouse that looked like it belonged in a magazine, not a home. Floor-to-ceiling windows framed the city’s neon pulse, and the place smelled faintly of lavender and wealth. Too big for one person, he thought, shifting the weight of his duffel bag, packed light with clothes, a knife, and two handguns, just in case. His jaw tightened as he glanced at his watch.

She was late. Typical.

He scratched the back of his neck, the buzzcut prickling under his fingers, and shot Carla a look that could’ve cracked glass.

“She’s coming, Rafe, relax,” Carla said, scrolling through her phone, oblivious to his glare. “She’s just—well, you’ll see.”

He opened his mouth to snap something about wasting his time when the air shifted. A soft hum of music—some pop song he didn’t know—drifted from the hallway, followed by the faint slap of bare feet on marble.

And then she appeared.

Y/N stepped into the room, and Rafe’s world tilted.

Her hair was wet, clinging to her shoulders, dripping water that glistened on her skin. She wore a tiny emerald-green bikini, barely there, her body a delicate balance of curves and grace. She sipped a Diet Pepsi through a straw, her glossy lips curling around it like she was posing for a damn commercial. She was taller than he’d expected, but next to his 6’2” frame, she looked fragile, like a gust of wind could snap her in half.

His throat went dry, his pulse hammering in a way that made no sense.

He was a soldier, hardened by war, scars crisscrossing his back like a roadmap of hell. Women didn’t rattle him.

But this one, this girl, made his knees feel like they might give out. She crossed the room with a bright smile, like she hadn’t just walked in half-naked in front of a stranger.

“Hi!” she said, extending a small, manicured hand. Her voice was warm, like honey over gravel, and it hit him like a shot to the chest. “You must be Rafe. Carla’s been raving about you.”

Rafe blinked, barely registering Carla’s nervous chatter about schedules and security protocols.

His eyes were locked on her lips, the way they moved, glossy and pink, catching the light. He nodded dumbly, his usual sharpness dulled by the sight of her.

Get it together, he thought, but then her hand brushed his arm as she said, “I’m so grateful you’re here. I mean it.”

Her touch was electric, a jolt that snapped him out of his haze. He straightened, forcing his face into a neutral mask, though his heart was still pounding like he’d just run a mile.

“Yeah,” he managed. “No problem.”

She tilted her head, her eyes catching his, and for a second, he saw something; a flicker of vulnerability behind the starlet glow.

She wasn’t what he’d expected.

Not prissy, not cold. Just… real.

And that scared him more than any mission he’d ever faced.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ©slvbun(m) — written with love.

[pink-venom]

⋅˚₊‧ 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅ Frowns & Feelings ⋅˚₊‧ 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅

˚.⋆𐙚 Parings: Kaz Brekker x Reader ˚.⋆𐙚 Synopsis: Kaz notices your foul mood and will do almost anything to find a way to cheer you up. ˚.⋆𐙚 Word Count: 1,144 ˚.⋆𐙚 a/n: this is my first time writing a fic y'all! hope u like it :D also, not proofread so sorry if there's any typos

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

You were upset. It was a fact that Kaz Brekker had been aware of since early that morning, when you didn’t bother with your usual “good morning” chipper. It bothered him, how much he was affected by the small absence of your usual presence.

It was obvious that your mood had only gotten worse throughout the day when you didn’t offer Kaz small smiles throughout the day, but rather, you gave him a scowl that turned into your eyes hastily moving from his. That isn’t right, Kaz had thought. You never turned your eyes away from him first, and you never frowned at him, even on your worst days.

It had officially turned into a problem for him when you accepted a mission for less kruge than your services were normally worth. One thing was certain to him: your head wasn’t clear. Were you looking for a distraction? Or did you just want the feel of adrenaline rushing through your veins? There was one specific question, gnawing at him, although he tried to convince himself he didn’t care. Tried to tell himself not to get involved in something so trivial. Still, the same question rang through his head: What was it that made you so distressed? He had no qualms about dealing with someone who upset you.

Either way, as his responsibility, he couldn’t let you willingly walk into danger that you wouldn’t be able to handle. He didn’t doubt you, of course not, but he had never seen you so distraught. Kaz had no idea how you would handle your mission, and he wasn’t willing to sit still while watching you be careless.

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

When Kaz had pulled you away from a conversation with Inej, your nerves went through the roof. All Kaz had said was a soft “Sit down,” and you hadn’t been able to stop fidgeting in the barstool chairs.

“Did I do something wrong?” You asked, a frown forming onto your face with your question.

Kaz’s eyes trailed over your face for a moment before mirroring your expression. Why were you frowning at him again? The expression on your face unnerved him more than he wanted to admit. Everyone at the Slat frowned, yes, but it was never your face that followed the rest.

You were the one that smiled, the one person who was able to make his heart feel lighter at the sight of your face. But right now, all he felt was an urge to pull the scowl off your face. Kaz knew he was a smart man, but right now he felt like he would do something foolish if only to make your day better.

But that wasn’t why he was here. He was here to advise you to not act irrationally. He wouldn’t deal with such childish feelings, so he would lock them away for now. But he knew that during the quietest parts of the nights, during the times he wished for your company, he wouldn’t be able to run from these feelings then.

The growing silence from Kaz alarmed you. Kaz may have been a man of few words, but he was never quiet. The way he was looking at you brought a heat to your cheeks that you tried desperately to hide. It was obvious: Kaz hadn’t liked something you’d done. You couldn’t think of another reason for why he was staring at you so intensely.

“There’s no reason for you to be taking on such small tasks. It is a waste of your abilities.” Kaz had finally said.

Your head perked up at his tone. Soft, yet strict. You have not been anticipating such kindness from him today.

“I don’t mind the work.” You responded. “I need something to do anyways.”

Kaz looked over at you, only to find you glaring daggers at the drinks across the table. As always, he hid his surprise well, but he couldn’t help the raising of his brow at your blatant confession. Still, Kaz refused to pry.

“You should try throwing your daggers at the bottles instead. I’ve heard acts of violence help one’s temper.” Kaz offered, his frown as prominent as ever.

Your face grew hot at his suggestion. How did he know you had a temper today? No one had noticed your bad mood except for Jesper. The Jesper who drank all of your strawberry yogurt that you had been waiting the entire week for.

“I don’t have a temper.” You lied, keeping your gaze away from Kaz. “I just-” your sentence had gone unspoken after Jesper made his way into the room. Kaz noted how quickly he averted his eyes from your gaze.

You quickly muttered an apology before excusing yourself to your room. Kaz was growing more agitated by the second; only you would be able to walk away from a conversation with him without the consequences.

But that didn’t matter right now. The only thing that mattered as of now was fixing whatever Jesper had done to you earlier that day.

Kaz’s feet involuntarily made his way over to Jesper. Quiet filled the Slat, the only echoing sound being his cane tapping against the wooden floors repeatedly.

Jesper nervously glanced at Kaz, some sort of guilt overflowing in his eyes. Before Kaz even made it to his face, Jesper had blurted out, “I didn’t know they were her yogurts!”

Kaz’s expression had remained the same, despite his confusion, letting Jesper come to whatever conclusion he wanted. All he really wanted was information, and Jesper was more than likely to give it to him.

“I’ll get her new ones, I swear! After this game, I’m gonna win a big hand here, Kaz. I’ll get her all the strawberry yogurts she wants. I would’ve never touched them if I knew they were hers!”

Yogurts? All this anger for strawberry yogurts?

This time, Kaz let his irritation weave through the cracks in his face. Something so small as yogurts had ruined her day, and it was Jesper to blame for her mood.

“She cannot be performing badly in her missions, Jesper. Her actions reflect mine. I don’t care what you ate, you will buy her back triple.”

The words barely left his mouth before he turned around, silently sighing to himself.

Such a small thing. Something so insignificant. He had worried over nothing. Those small frowns had been nothing but annoyance.

Still, all that useless worrying had turned into something that might have been worth it when Kaz saw the look of your face the next morning, happily drinking the strawberry yogurt he had placed outside of your door during the night.

The smile you had on your face might have made his day a little brighter, and your “good morning” to him might have made him forget what made him angry at all.

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

thanks for reading guys! I'm taking requests for fics btw :))

[starshipsofstarlord]

being the only person kaz can touch would include:

warnings. haphephobia (the fear of being touched or touching others), some angst and fluff, vomiting, hidden feelings (0.7k)

divider credits. @cafekitsune

being a trusted member of the crows for quite some time, and growing up as part of the dregs with him prior to him earning his high standing position

if anything, he would feel the most comfortable with you as he had known you for years, although that did not make it any easier for him at the start

it isn’t that he didn’t want to be able to touch others, as it was a weakness that repulsed him to his very core, but he just couldn’t

the act of flesh touching his own would slip him into a state of sickness, both mentally and physically. kaz despised it, though he had gotten used to not being able to hold skin to skin contact

but he wanted to overcome the vigorous discomfort that he felt amidst it, and have some relief in conquering a minuscule part of it. even if it was with only a singular person. it would grant him a feeling of power and control over his greatest fear

he asked you, as you were never one to pry in regards to him constantly wearing his gloves and him grimacing at the sight of wounded flesh

the two of you were in his office, just the pair of you when he brought it up in conversation. kaz felt comfortable that you would not judge him, you had known each other long enough for your mind to hardly draw focus to his phobia

he had even in the past trusted you with his gravest secret - the reason for his phobia, and you understood the experience that he had had as a child could contort his mind into repelling human contact

“i know this may seem rash…” his words had you concerned until he explained his motives; he seemed certain on what he wanted, and whilst you wished to abide in helping him, you yourself were afraid of bringing him discomfort, especially when it involved such a hardwired fear he had

nevertheless you agreed on the conditions that you would proceed with the process slowly, and he would let you know if it got too much

kaz agreed to your terms, silently appreciating the care that you had for him, daring not to voice it. he was not the best person at expressing his feelings if they were not within the realm of anger or rage

small steps, he reminded himself, not wanting to overwhelm himself before the two of you started in battling his fears, or let you become wise as to the reason he had wanted you to be the one to help him

when you first touched after years of knowing one another, you held kaz’s hands. he still wore his gloves as you had told him to, and he felt guilty for the bile that rose in his throat and the vomit that left his mouth

the feeling was so foreign, but he knew that it was his own nerves gnawing at him. he still had his gloves on for saint’s sakes, and that did not usually stop him during brawls with the dime lions if it was necessary

but it was his fault, he told himself. kaz had been imagining himself not wearing the barriers of leather, picturing your hands held together with nothing in between

you did not blame him, nor physically try to comfort him, knowing that neither would enlighten or make kaz feel any better. instead, you told him that you could both try again some other time if he wished, making sure that he did not feel any pressure to do so if he either did not want to or did not feel comfortable 

he made a point of continuously calling you to his office after that, to try and try again. and over time, the impulse to vomit subsided, and he got used to holding your hand whilst wearing his gloves

one day, he surprised both of you by removing the leather from his hands, choosing on impulse to touch your own. he had expected to be sickened, but instead his mind distracted him, thinking of how warm your skin was - nothing like jordie’s had been when…

you were shocked, a smile pulling onto your features and pride swelling in your chest for Jim

though you had reminded him to go at his own pace, you could not help but hug him, and he awkwardly embraced you back, feeling comfortable enough due to all of the layers of clothing that were between you

it was a work in progress, but Kaz wanted more, his greed overwhelming him. he did refrain but he had every intent of eventually progressing, fighting his greatest fear so that one day he would be capable of kissing you…

[they-call-me-whiskey]

Jesper Fahey & Inej Ghafa

[phefics]

welcome back, phe <3 could i maybe have a blurb of kaz brekker x reader with the sentence "you're cute when you blush."???

𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 ♡ thank you sm for the request!!! xoxo contains: fluff, playful bickering, confident!reader, flustered!kaz

Most people in the Barrel were petrified of Kaz Brekker.

And rightfully so: He could be intimidating, cruel, unpredicatable, selfish...There were plenty of things to fear.

You've seen him nearly collapse from the pain of his bed leg, watched him struggle with stairs and steep streets. You've seen him faint, vomit, nearly drown. And perhaps his resilience should make him twice as intimidating.

However, knowing him for quite some time, you've learned that he isn't always so scary. You're observant, and you have caught the softer sides of Kaz. You've noticed the way he has to physically bite his tongue to refrain from laughing at Jesper's jokes, and have even heard him let out the rare chuckle. You've seen him stop to rub a stray dog's belly on more than one occasion, and watched him perform a magic trick for a curious group of children once.

But there's one thing about Kaz that is just frankly cute, and you don't think he even realizes it.

Because he's an expert at steeling his emotions, hiding the truth. He can lie, cheat, and steal his way out of any situation. But when he's safe, around trusted people, when there are no stakes at hand...Kaz Brekker blushes.

You had thought at first that he was just flushed from alcohol or something, but you quickly realized it only happened when you gave him a compliment, or when you teased him.

At first, you'd assumed that it happened more often, like when Jesper did a bad impression of his gravelly voice, or when Nina playfully flirted with him. But no. It seemed to just be you.

Which led you to the conclusion that perhaps your attraction to the Bastard of the Barrel wasn't for naught. And so, you began trying to flirt with him. And as intelligent as Kaz was, when it came to relationships, he was a fucking moron.

He was in his office that night, and you walked in and leaned against the edge of his desk.

"Hi, boss," you said with a smile.

"What is it?" he replied, skipping the pleasantries.

You leaned against the edge of his desk. "Oh, nothing. Jesper's passed out drunk, Nina and Matthias are making out, and Inej and Wylan are on a job, so...I'm bored."

Kaz frowned. "So you decided to bother me?"

"What? You're good company. Easy on the eyes, too."

There it was. That tinge of pink on his pale cheeks, spreading to the tips of his ears.

"You're cute when you blush."

He was practically scowling by that point. "I don't blush," he hissed. "And I'm not...cute, Y/N, I'm a grown fucking man."

"Your face is literally red right now."

Kaz used a gloved hand to pinch the bridge of his nose, clearly irritated beyond belief. He was so easy to rile sometimes, and it was simultaneously adorable and entertaining.

With his aversion to physical contact, flirting with Kaz wasn't always easy. The natural instinct to lean closer, to touch his arm or initiate an act of intimacy was out of the question.

You wanted to keep going - To tell him that on the rare occasion that he smiled, it was beautiful, and on the rarer occasion that he laughed, you were surprised all the women in a 10-mile radius didn't literally swoon. But you didn't want it to sound like you were just teasing, that this was all just to bother him.

However, as well as his feelings about touch, Kaz seemed to have an aversion to genuine emotion too. How were you ever gonna get through to him?

When he finally looked back up at you, cheeks still flushed, there was the ghost of a smile on his lips. "If you insist on being in here, the least you can do is help me talk through the plans of this heist."

You grinned, taking a seat on the edge of his desk, listening intently as he walked you through his idea. The flush in his face subsided, his demeanor relaxing, the conversation natural.

Still cute, though.

[m4y4wasnthere]

Please do soc reader x sodapop!!!! I’m sure he would be one that wouldn’t actually mind that you’re a soc

soc!reader x sodapop

warnings: suggestive hcs at end, separated ofc!

a/n: this is super cute!!! i definitely think Soda would be the most likely in all thr gang to end up w a soc, its his movie star handsomeness that leaves heads turning 🌝

you guys obv first met at the DX

you drove your white/pink mustang up to a gas pump and you walked into the store looking for (your) favorite candy bar

you ended up having to go to the register since she couldnt find it and might as well pay for her pump

and then BOOM eye contact. 2 extremely gorgeous people meeting each other

You could’ve sworn they sold [candy bar] here and tried scurrying around the store in all directions before finally giving up. You hesitantly walked up to the register waiting for the guy to turn back around.

Your jaw slightly dropped when he turned. He was stunning.

“Hey pretty lady, do you need help with anything?” He smiled and your heart skipped a beat. His smile was absolutely perfect.

“H-hi.. yea, uh, wow.” You mentally facepalmed at your words escaping your thoughts. Your hand flew quickly to your mouth in embarrassment. He chuckles at your compliment.

“Oh my gosh I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to say that- Uh, I’m looking for [candy bar] and was curious if you guys had it? Also I wanna pay for pump 3.”

“Its alright beautiful. Your lucky, we do have that bar, its my favorite too! Let me get it real quick for ya.”

He walks to the back and you cant help but start fawning over him. You blush and giggle thinking about how nice he was despite being a greaser, he called you pretty and-

He comes back and places the bar on the desk. “Pump 3 you said, right?”

“Yeah, thats right.” You reach into your white mini purse for some cash but he interrupts you.

“Its on me dollface, its not everyday a goregous girl like you walks into my gas station.”

“Wow uhm I- I dont even know what to say, thank you-…?”

“Sodapop. Sodapop Curtis. Have a nice day…?”

“Y/n. Y/n L/n.” You blush and shyly shake his hand.

“I hope I see you around gorgeous.”

He winks at you before walking to the back of the shop again. You stand there shocked, flushed and elated. You just got called gorgeous by him.

~~

When you get home, you find his number written on the back of the bar and you decide to give him a call. 🤭

Sodapop is used to getting alot of attention from girls, i mean he’s literally gorgeous.

But he always makes sure to tell them that he belongs to the most prettiest girl ever.

He won’t immediately tell them to go away if they aren’t actually doing any harm, but he’ll get more assertive if they become touchy

No matter how you see yourself physically, he thinks the WORLD of you

He is head over heels, whenever he loves someone, HE LOVES HARD

You guys took it slow, he explained what happened with Sandy very early on since he didn’t want to get your hopes up

But you were very understanding to him, especially with taking things slow

He had such a huge crush on you after that, already so into you just from how nice you were

When you first met the gang, they already know so much about you from how much Soda talks about you

“Hi everyone, um, I dont know if or what Soda has said about me but my name is Y/n.”

The gang all looked at you and gave small introductions, Two-Bit spoke up.

“Ah so, you’re the broad who keeps making Soda giggle like a little kid at the telephone every night.”

You blushed and started laughing.

“Stop it Two-bit” Soda said giggling. (guys im picturing this like a girl saying stawpp itttt 🤭🤭)

He likes referring to you as princess, dollface, any nickname that compliments you in some way (beautiful, pretty, gorgeous etc etc)

You guys usually hangout at his house, the DX, or you go with him and Steve (including whatever broad Steve is with) kind’ve like double dates

He would so be the boyfriend who brings a boombox to your window, leave flower petals, light candles, EVERYTHING

You guys are so pda everywhere, the gang always makes jokes about it

Your parents were skeptical when first meeting him since 1. He was a grease and 2. He was a drop-out, but they realized how much of a gentleman he was

They sometimes still get a bit on the fence about ti, but for the most part, they see he isnt just a regular greaser (they’re thinking of Dallas Winston.)

• more suggestive ones •

He loves praising you, he doesn’t usually degrade or do anything on the meaner side but he can go to some extents if you’re into it

Not into full on quickies, but wouldn’t mind receiving a bj from you in the back of the DX or fingering you if you guys need to let off some unattended “needs”

Always makes sure you finish first, he knows how girls lie about it and the first fee times you were intimate, he really made sure that whatever he was doing was actually making you feel good

His favorite body part of yours is your face, he loves the way you look at him with so much love, how pretty you look when sucking him off, the expressions you make when he is legit destroying you (☠️)

His favorite position is missionary. He feels like its the most loving position, he can see if your actually enjoying it, can change pace and how rough he is easily, but also really good access to your chest, neck and your clit

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

a/n: pls send more reqs. idk what to write 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

[farihahqaisari]

i didn't suffer through three books and read “it's my own name i'm afraid of forgetting.”/“i want you to know my name, the name i was given not the title i took for myself. will you have it, alina?”/“your name is tattooed on your heart.” only for netflix to throw it away and replace it with “please, call me aleksander.” in literally the second episode.

[petertingle-yipyip]

DADDY ISSUES - KAZ BREKKER

Pairing: established Kaz x Reader // Word Count: 2,989

Summary (request): Hello… I hope you are doing well… I wonder if there could be any chance I can request Kaz Brekker x wife reader, where reader comes from really shitty background (her mom hanged herself, her father is abusive) and she never talked about it much and always helped Kaz build himself back before her, but now it kinda turns around… maybe make it a little angst, like they get in fight about it and the reader just breaks down thinking Kaz will left like everyone else did… hope it’s not to complicated… thank you <3 // couple slight tweaks (forgot it was a wife!request tbh). hope you enjoy! and the title was simply for the vibes, idk

Life in the Barrel was its own hellscape. You never denied or argued that point. Instead, you tried to find your own little bright spots.

You had friends, a crew that’d go to war for you. And lucky you, that crew turned out to be the most feared and respected in Ketterdam.

Not that you knew that when you joined. In the beginning, it was just a way to find a new life. You weren’t even looking for safer or better, just new. Your mother, Saints rest her soul, had been through the ringer. Your father, may he rot in Hell, was as vile as they came. He lost money on gambling, spent nights upon nights upon nights at the Pleasure Houses, drank himself stupid, all to come home and beat down you and your mother. The night your mother tried to fight back and protect you both, your father made a scene. He played innocent, ran into the streets calling for Stadwatch and that your mother was hysterical. The next night, your mother found herself on a short path to the end of a rope.

Your father called it a warning. You called it a threat.

That was when you ran. You packed whatever fit in your bag and ran. You ended up meeting another runaway, a criminally smart boy named Wylan. He didn’t speak much at first, but you two roomed together for a little while during your stint at the dye factory. He was called upon by the Crows first.

You lingered around the Club after that, wondering if they’d take you in too. One of them must’ve took pity on you because when you went back to your musty little lodging, the Wraith was waiting with an offer.

Your life seemed to turn around after that. You turned out to be quite the strategist. Within a few months, you had worked your way to being Kaz’s go-to for when he was mentally stuck. You saw things differently than he did and it made for good conversations and optimal plans for jobs. Whenever you two put your heads together, you were unstoppable.

Naturally, you two drew close and ended up together. You also learned the hard way that Kaz was his own brand of crazy. It took digging and prying and more patience than you thought you had, but he eventually told you everything. It was so much more than you expected and explained a lot of why Kaz was the way he was. But with some not-so-gentle coaxing, you managed to get him to agree to baby steps which grew to strides which grew to leaps and bounds.

With careful feints and evasions, you managed to keep the details of your childhood away from everyone. Even Kaz. When they asked about your parents, you simply said Mom was dead and Dad was long gone. Where were you from? Here, there, wherever the wind blows in from.

By some miracle, you could touch Kaz in practically any sense and he would hardly react. He could touch you willingly, and he did often. Loosely hooking his fingers through yours, a lazy arm around your waist, his chin atop your head when you leaned against him in your booth at the Club.

Inej said he smiled more after you arrived. Nina said she’d never heard an honest laugh until you. Even Jesper said you softened Kaz’s rough edges, not all but enough to notice.

Admittedly, it was nice to be needed. To be wanted. It was so blessedly refreshing.

Until one night, you were suddenly a little kid again, cowering in your mother’s skirts.

You recognized his voice before you saw him. His deep, angry voice rumbled through the Crow Club and you immediately tensed in the booth. You believed he was dead. You used to pray for it. It seemed the Saints didn’t offer you that mercy after all.

Miraculously, Kaz was too enthralled in his debate with Jesper to notice.

Your eyes frantically scanned the crowd, looking at every table for the culprit. When you had checked everywhere, you thought you had imagined it. Someone else with a similar timbre had to be there instead. You sucked in a deep breath, counting off numbers in your head as a distraction, until he practically fell onto the table.

You flinched hard and it instantly drew Kaz’s attention. You stayed frozen, as if your father wouldn’t notice you if you didn’t move. You saw Jesper draw a pistol on reflex and Wylan shot you a worried look.

Wylan was the only one who knew the extent of your childhood trauma, and that was only because he came back to your shared room to you sobbing on your mother’s birthday one night. You spilled your secrets and he hesitantly shared his.

“I can’t be here.” You squeaked, trying to scoot out the booth. Your chest was growing uncomfortably tight and your blood was rushing in your ears.

“I’ll walk with you.” Wylan stood.

“No.” Kaz said firmly. You didn’t need to see his face to know he was giving the back of your head that calculating, suspicious look. “I’ll go. Jesper, get rid of him.”

“Yes, Boss.” Jesper answered.

You tried to make yourself scarce as you heard Jesper telling your father to move. A small clatter later and a large hand, too large to be Kaz’s, locked around your upper arm and yanked you back. You stumbled over your own feet and were pushed against the table’s edge. You closed your eyes tightly, your head dropping immediately. All you wanted was to be as small as possible.

“All this time…” Your father sneered. You could smell the liquor on his breath. “You’ve been here?”

You didn’t answer. You couldn’t. You had no voice. All you could think about were the tears burning behind your closed lids. You simply shook your head, but it wasn’t good enough.

“You’re a coward then, hmm? What happened to all the giggles and flirts these men got, huh? Just like your tramp of a mother.”

Your father shook you and you let out a panicked whimper. You tried to pry his fingers loose but it was useless.

“I suggest you let her go.” Jesper said firmly and you heard the hammer of his pistol. “Before this gets ugly.”

“This doesn’t concern you.” Your father spat. “It’s between me and my daughter.”

“Daughter?”

“What? Can’t see the resemblance?” Your father’s hand tightly gripped your cheeks but you jerked your face away.

“You can’t grab on her like that!” Wylan argued and slammed his fist against the table.

Bless his heart, you thought. Saints, don’t let my father hurt them.

“My friends are right.” Kaz spoke calmly. “Seeing as this is my Club and that is my Crow you’re harassing, I’d very much say this concerns me. If you don’t want to lose that hand, remove it. Now.”

You forced your eyes open but couldn’t bring yourself to meet his gaze. Instead, you focused on his cane. His shoes. You itched to reach out for him, to fold yourself into the safety of his embrace. An embrace that only you had the privilege of experiencing. But your father’s bulky frame was firmly in the way.

Had he gotten fatter? You had half a mind to say so and laugh, but you knew that was a quick way to a broken nose. You’d never forget the crack of your mother’s when she made an off-hand comment about his waistline one night.

“Mind your own, boy.” Your father spat at Kaz’s feet.

You gasped slightly and Kaz simply chuckled. That delightfully ominous sound was your saving grace. Most men would have apologized, begged forgiveness and swore some sort of penance, but not your father. No, he was stupid and stubborn. He was going to get what was coming to him, albeit less than he deserved in your opinion.

“Oh no..” Wylan said quietly.

You struggled in his grip again. You hoped it was enough of a distraction, but you were wrong. A familiar strike hit your cheek and the force threw you to the side. A pair of arms caught you but you couldn’t focus on anything beside the pain in your cheek.

That trademark back-handed slap, seemingly reserved for you and your mother. The slap that had split your cheek wide open when he had used his ring hand before. The slap that made you feel eight years old again. You had the thought to hide under the table but shook it quickly.

You weren’t a child anymore. Your mother couldn’t help you. You focused back to the current moment, the pulsing sting in your face and the tears in your eyes. You opened your mouth, unsure what you intended to say, but no sound came out. Instead, Kaz swung his cane with enough force to make your father sway on his feet - you thought you saw a tooth go flying - and Jesper was eagerly climbing over the table to join in.

You had half a mind to laugh as they landed strategic blows against your father.

‘Serves you right!’ you wanted to yell but your voice was still missing.

But Wylan was already leading you out of the Crow Club. You didn’t protest the escape. Wylan didn’t say anything until getting to your room at the Slat. You sat on your bed after kicking off your shoes and pulled your knees to your chest.

For what felt like the first time that night, you took a real breath. The adrenaline had faded, leaving your body tired and heavy.

“Do you want to talk?” Wylan gently tried, sitting at the edge of the bed.

You simply shook your head.

“Okay… Do you want something cold for that?” He gestured to his own cheek.

Gingerly, you prodded the tender area. You winced but felt no cut or blood. You shook your head again.

“I’d like to go to bed, I think.” You spoke. Your voice was so small, so far away. That couldn’t be what you sounded like… Was it?

“Of course.” Wylan nodded. He stood and patted your head, making you laugh weakly.

It was the same gesture he did the first time he saw you crying when he didn’t know how to help. Since that first night, it was just what you two did.

“Thank you for sticking up for me.” You offered a grateful smile. “You got the other guys going, too.”

“We’re always gonna be there for you, Y/N/N. And hey, if it helps any, I’m sure Kaz beat the hell out of him.” Wylan offered.

“I’m not convinced anything’ll help anymore, Wy.” You shrugged before laying down.

Not until he’s dead, but you didn’t dare say that part out loud.

You waved goodbye to Wylan before you took your pillow and put it over your face. You held it there and screamed as loud as you could. You screamed until you were out of air, then sucked in a deep breath just to do it all over again. Once the screams were gone, you cried. They were ugly, likely snot-filled and red faced cries, but who the hell cared?

You cried until your throat was raw, your breaths were shaky, and your eyes were dry. You had nothing left in you except childhood pain, so you did the only thing you could. You let sleep take you.

It wasn’t long until the door creaked open and you shot up. You blinked the sleep out of your eyes quickly, reaching in a panic for the small blade on your nightstand.

“It’s alright, Dear.” Kaz spoke calmly. “It’s just me.”

“Oh…” You sighed in relief, pushing your hands through your hair. “Just a bit jumpy, I guess.” You tried to laugh it off.

“That man in the Club...”

“Kaz, I don’t want to-“

“You never mentioned your parents.” He kept on going.

You groaned to yourself, understanding that Kaz was going to be stubborn about the topic. With a sigh, you ran a sleeve across your face. You folded your legs and Kaz sat in the now open space of your bed. He kept his eyes on his cane, tapping it as he spoke.

“Those things he said about your mother, what he did to you…”

“Yes, my father is an ass.” You conceded. “Is that what you want to hear? Is that what you want me to say, Kaz? My family was broken. Hardly a family at all, nothing more to it.”

“Seems like there’s much more to it.” He countered.

“Oh, for Saint’s sake.” You ran a hand down your face. “What do you want me to say?”

“You completely shut down, Y/N.” He said firmly. There was concern in his voice, but it seemed smothered by the anger still looming. You blamed your father for that, too. Was there anything that man couldn’t ruin? “He put hands on you and you did nothing.”

“I’m well aware.” You bit out. You placed your hand over where your father’s had been and it was as if the skin was burned by his touch. You shivered slightly but said nothing else.

“I’ve never seen that happen to you.”

“Let it go, Kaz. I’m begging you.”

“Convenient, isn’t it?” He scoffed slightly. “When you wanted to know of all my pain and torment, I had to lay it all bare for you to scrutinize and study. Yet when it comes to facing your past, you don’t have words?”

“I don’t have words.” You rolled your eyes. “If you believe that’s the case, then just leave me be.”

“I’m not leaving you.” He sounded near offended that you’d suggest such a thing. “Not until you talk to me.”

“What difference will it make?” You nearly screamed. “You’ve seen the truth. You know that I’m a fraud and I’m weak and pathetic. Feel free, Kaz, to cut your losses and go. I don’t expect you to stay after that fiasco.”

“You think so little of me?” He didn’t bother hiding how your words hurt him.

“I think the world of you.” You corrected quickly. “But I also know you. That whole thing made a mockery of who everyone knows me to be, and that reflects on you and your choice. My father has the infernal talent of breaking me down as if I’m nothing. He had always been able to break me and he enjoyed it. I’m sure he looked very high and mighty doing it again, didn’t he?”

Kaz didn’t answer.

“So now you know. Now you know that I’m not at all what I pretend to be around here, and I won’t blame you if you walk right out that door and never acknowledge me again.”

“Is that what you want, my dear?” He asked quietly.

His gloves were abandoned on your nightstand, you hadn’t even seen him take them off, and he gently took hold of your hand. With minimal force, he removed your hand from your arm and slipped his fingers between yours.

“Do you want me to go?” He asked. His voice was quiet, so uncertain. You had never heard such a tone from him.

“No…” You confessed. “But I know-“

“Then tell me.” His eyes met yours and in the dim moonlight from your window, you could’ve sworn you saw…

Tears? 

Well that couldn't be right. You didn’t even remember him crying when he told you the story of his brother. Why would he be crying now?

You reached your other hand for his cheek, smiling to yourself as he leaned into your touch.

“This isn’t your burden to carry, my love.” You answered softly. He sighed slightly but had no argument yet. “You wear so many hats, balance so many titles and jobs. You bear the weight of so much pain as it is… I can’t ask you to bear mine.”

“You’re not asking. I’m offering.” He corrected, gently taking your hand off his cheek. “Y/N, you are the only thing in this world worth having. Every breath I take is because of you. Every day I wake it is because you are beside me. To know that this has haunted you, to know that man exists in the same city- same country- same universe that you is a crime that I will personally make him answer for. He threw away the privilege of your love and your protection the first time he dared to put his hands on you.”

“Am I protecting him?”

The question wasn’t meant to come out. The look he gave you was so close to pity you felt your cheeks burn with embarrassment.

“You offered to carry my pain as if it were yours so long ago.” He spoke gently, so gentle that it made your heart ache. “You carry everyone’s pains and gripes without a word… Let me do the same for you.”

“He’s the reason I lost everything…” You nearly whispered. “He’s the reason I had nothing. What if he’s the reason I lose you?”

“It’s going to take more than that to scare me off, Darling.” He gave you a small smile. “I swear to you, Y/N, he will never hurt you again.”

You sniffled and threw your arms around him. He was quick to return your embrace.

“I love you.” You mumbled against his shoulder.

You managed a better sleep with Kaz beside you. The next day, you two stayed cooped up in your room and you answered every question you could manage.

Admitting to the extent of your father’s abuse was more difficult than you expected. Several times during your conversation, you found yourself shutting down and trying to change the topic to whatever you saw out your window.

Yet Kaz was ever so patient.

You knew then, beyond any sort of doubt, that you and Kaz would be together for a very long time.

[thesuntomyshadows]

Y/N: I like how we say 'Oh man' to express our disappointment. Because men are in fact disappointing.

Inej: *Sighs and turns to Kaz* What did you do this time?