#i have kevin timestamps too but

[mizugucci]

wait okay so who’s left... only hwichan, kevin and jaehan im pretty sure... wow we are awesome

[sofreddie]

The Lion's Den - Part 8

Characters: Crowley x F!Reader

Warnings: Contract Negotiations as Foreplay/Pillow Talk, Smut (Protected Sex, Marking, Possessiveness, Oral Sex, Spanking, Choking/Asphyxiation, Rough Sex, Squirting), Fluff

KINK: MARKING KINK (@anyfandomkinkbingo)

WC: 2,495

A/N: I am so happy and relieved that I got this part written. It felt like a fistfight to get every word down. But now that I've worked through my blocks, my anxiety is easing up and I've been able to work a little more on other fics as well. One more chapter after this one, though I have outlined possible timestamps. Thank you so much for your patience and I hope this installment in the series was worth the wait. ;)

Series Masterlist

Part 7

Y/N took a deep breath to calm her nerves as she exited her hired car, the all-too-familiar door of The Lion's Den glowing brightly, beckoning her within. She pulled the gold-embossed invitation card from her clutch, handing it to the doorman who smiled warmly and opened the door for her to enter.

The Den was buzzing with life and activity like a nightclub - music blasting, drinks everywhere. All the staff and the most elite of clientele were invited, closed to all others. It was a private celebration of the anniversary of the club's opening. The sounds of laughter and joviality rang through the ever-sex-tainted air.

Grabbing a champagne flute off a passing waiter's tray, she began to walk the room, letting her eyes take in the abundance of sensations around her.

As she surveyed the party-goers, her eyes paused as she caught each man that she's enjoyed separately, each surrounded by clients, both favored and prospective. Playing coy and unaffected - and truly just anticipating her time with Crowley - she passed by each of them, their eyes findings hers and giving her a sultry look that made her reminisce of her times with them.

Before long, Crowley's young assistant, Kevin, found her amongst the crowd, inviting her to follow him to his boss' private table.

"Crowley's been waiting for you," Kevin told her as he effortlessly maneuvered through the crowds and to the familiar, secluded booth Crowley liked to occupy.

She was eager and excited but tried her best to hide it. She'd learned to hone her poker face over years of business meetings and negotiations. The Den was one place she felt she could let her guard down and relax.

"There she is," Crowley greeted as she approached his private booth. He stood beside the alcove, straightening his suit and eyes raking her body, draped in a simple gown for the evening's events.

"Crowley," Y/N responded with a smirk, offering her hand. Crowley grasped it gently between both of his hands, bending down to kiss the back of her knuckles.

"Thank you for accepting my invitation," he gestured to the booth and Y/N slid into the seat, Crowley sitting opposite of her.

"I was wondering if I was ever going to get this one-on-one with you or if you were going to keep teasing me," she pouted playfully.

"Ah, yes," Crowley sighed, nodding his head. "I've been rather busy lately," he explained. "Expanding my empire, you understand."

"I do," she agreed quickly. "And I've heard of your successes. Opening a new club?"

"Yes, and I heard of your latest conquering as well. You've been all over the papers recently. I have to admit, I'm a fan of your work."

Silence fell between them as fresh drinks were delivered. Y/N took a long sip, her eyes trailing over Crowley in yet another perfectly tailored suit.

"How have you been enjoying the club?" Crowley inquired, easing the momentary lull in their conversation.

"You should be able to tell from my monthly bill how much I enjoy this club of yours," she smirked behind her glass, feeling mildly tipsy and relaxed in Crowley's presence.

He chuckled, "Yes, well, what if I told you that I'd like to make a deal with you," he challenged, a glint in his eyes.

Y/N sat up straighter, gently setting her drink on the table. She eyed him carefully, as anyone would a potential opponent. Her eyes sparkled and her heart raced, ready to broker another deal. After all, it's what she lived for. With a silent gesture of her hand, she urged him to continue.

Enjoying the game as much as Y/N did, Crowley prepared to lay out his offer.

"You can have me tonight, however you want, as a client. I am more than willing."

Y/N's heart raced differently, Crowley's proposal cutting to the chase of what she'd been after since she laid eyes on him. Biting her lip, she was eagerly anticipating the rest of his proposal.

"Or, you can agree to be mine and I'll fuck you for free, whenever you want."

"Be yours?" she inquired with a quirked brow, more than intrigued by his proposal.

"I'm a King without a Queen," he sighed. "You are smart, beautiful, cunning. Together we could expand my empire and be unstoppable. And of course, you can continue to sample the wares, so long as you remain mine."

"Think it over. In the meantime, I believe we have much more pressing matters," his smile morphed into a grin as his eyes shamelessly trailed over her body.

More pressing matters indeed.

She would definitely think over his offer, though she was sure what she'd most likely say.

Welcoming the distraction, and far too eager for this long-awaited encounter, Y/N allowed Crowley to lead her by the hand away from the staircase and familiar hall of rooms and into a long hallway that led to somewhere much more private.

It was his office, she quickly realized, and it was single-handedly the most expensive and lavish room she had seen in this entire place so far. The soft click of the door behind her made her smile, her anticipation ramping up, her panties already growing damp.

"I enjoy rare and beautiful things," Crowley spoke as he walked comfortably across the office, unbuttoning his suit jacket and casually leaning against the edge of his desk.

She glanced around the room, indeed eyeing many things that piqued her interest. Her eyes floated back to him. The electricity in the air between them crackled with heat, the delicious banter and teasing drawing out, being savored between them.

"And you are the most rare and beautiful thing I've ever encountered," he breathed out. She felt her body slump and swoon, the seriousness flickering in his eyes making her desperately ravenous.

She wasn't one for relationships, her career at the forefront of her mind, the Den a way for her to feed her needs and desires without the complexities of relationships. The look in his eyes made her realize they might be dancing on a line here, but it also made her want to take a chance and step right over it.

Meeting his eyes once more, she knew her fate was sealed.

"You want to be mine?" Crowley asked as he leaned back against his desk with a knowing smirk. "Show me, My Pet."

A flutter ran through her body as she was more than eager to comply. She knew he wanted her as much as she wanted him. Holding his gaze, she slipped off her dress, revealing she was completely bare beneath. His eyes roamed over her body with admiration and lust.

"Stunningly beautiful, Y/N," Crowley praised. Standing straight, he raised a single finger urging her to come forth.

She gave a crooked smirk as she slowly dropped to her knees, her hands hitting the ground next. She curved her back like a cat as she slowly crawled towards him, the way that John appreciated. As Crowley rubbed his hand against his strained and hardened cock, Y/N knew he too appreciated her moves.

As she reached Crowley, Y/N used her hands to crawl up his thighs, straightening her naked body against his legs. She ghosted along his covered shaft with her nose, her hands settled on his hips.

"My, you are a good pet, aren't you Love?"

Tilting her head back she met his eyes, his hand cupping her cheek.

"Yes, Sir," she responded, doing her best to maintain doe-eyes and a straight face.

Crowley growled before leaning down to crash his lips into hers. Pulling back he whipped off his jacket, the matching vest underneath following closely behind. His hands tucked under her arms - with a strength she didn't know he possessed - he lifted and carried her easily, laying her back on the lush chaise lounge off to the side.

She relaxed back into the soft and plush material of the ornate sofa, her legs falling open to reveal her dampened core. Crowley stared at her hungrily as he loosened his tie, just enough to slip the loop off his head and over hers, adjusting the tie to lie between her breasts.

"Looking more and more like mine by the minute," Crowley smirked, rising from the sofa to strip himself bare.

Y/N watched with hungry eyes, licking her lips as his glorious cock was revealed to her. From head to toe, he was every bit as delicious as she'd imagined he'd be, still emanating power and authority without the amazing, tailored suits.

She licked her lips as he slowly climbed over her, his lips ghosting along her body but not quite touching, the tease of it making her squirm. He lapped at her nipple before encasing it in his mouth, humming at her responding moan.

In her distraction, he moved his mouth lower, sucking a mark on the underside of her breast. She jumped and hissed, the sensation making her core clench. She glanced down, seeing the mark he left behind, and giving him a questioning gaze.

"Only where it won't be seen," he answered her unspoken concern. "Want to see my Pet covered in my marks," he growled at her, settling in on her other breast.

He worked his way down her body, leaving hickeys and love bites as he went, adorning her in his marks. She shivered beneath him, each new mark drenching her core. He worked his way between her thighs, teasing her and leaving even more marks, avoiding the sensitive areas where she was desperate for his touch.

Finally, he turned his attention to her needy and dripping core, lapping up her essence before focusing his energy on her clit.

With mostly his mouth and a little help from his hands, he guided her through a slow-building, slow-crashing orgasm that washed over her like a wave. The scratch of his beard against her sensitive skin added to the euphoric feeling.

He stood suddenly, making her whine from the loss of his touch. He smirked down at her as he rolled on a condom. She licked her lips once more, writhing with neediness.

"Hands and knees, Pet," Crowley grinned, helping guide her into position. She gripped the armrest, curving her back and spreading her legs, her dripping pussy on display.

He groaned, gripping her ass in both hands and kneading the cheeks before slapping the right one harshly. Y/N jumped and moaned, the sting further igniting her lust.

"So responsive, Y/N," Crowley crooned, before sliding deep within her core in one smooth stroke. "So eager; so much fun to play with," he moaned, pulling out and thrusting in hard, relishing her surprised gasps.

Crowley set a fast and harsh pace, the slap of their skin leaving a red tint on Y/N's ass and thighs. She let out a guttural moan as he hit her deep, rubbing deliciously over her g-spot and slamming into her cervix. The mix of pleasure and pain was setting her alight. Her hands clung to the armrest, her nails digging into the upholstery. Part of her was afraid she'd claw it to pieces; part of her didn't give a damn.

His fingers found the tie, still around her neck, turning it to now lie down her spine. He gently tugged on the tie, showing her his intent.

"You good, My Love?" he asked, his hips never stopping their harsh pace.

"Y-yes, S-Sir!" she moaned out wantonly. He held her expertly on a high but kept her from crossing over, the torture of it exquisite.

Crowley wrapped the end of the tie around his hand, the other hand on her hip to steady her to take his cock. He tugged on the tie, simultaneously pulling her back on his cock and beginning to cut off her air. Her pussy fluttered and she let out a groan that made no sound, the pressure and pain bordering too much.

Suddenly, the pressure released and she sucked in a large breath of air, her pussy clamping hard around Crowley's unrelenting length. He growled, both hands on her hips as he fucked her near flat on the sofa. She came hard, gushing around his cock, screaming out her release that seemed to reverberate off the office walls around her.

The intensity of her orgasm pulled Crowley into his own, thrusting deep within her and filling the condom, his hips still moving to extend their mutual highs.

After catching his breath, Crowley removed himself, disposing of the condom. Y/N lay on the sofa, the cool air of the room against her heated skin refreshing. She was thoroughly fucked and sated. Crowley more than delivered, the real thing far better than her fantasies could have conjured.

Hearing the clinking of glass, she rolled over, resting her head back against the armrest. Crowley approached, now wearing his slacks, with two glasses in hand. He offered her one, lifting her feet to sit on the sofa, and setting them back across his lap.

She took a sip from the glass, eyeing Crowley warily, his words and proposition from before still present in her mind.

"So," she glanced at her glass, swirling the liquid within before meeting his eyes once more. "Be yours?"

He grinned and she matched his expression. He set his glass on the side table and rose, moving to his desk and digging in the drawer, finding what he was looking for and setting it on the small table beside her.

"A contract?" she asked excitedly as if he'd slid a jewelry box across the table to her.

She gave it a cursory review, finding it to be a detailed partnership agreement. She loved reading through contracts, finding loopholes, and exploiting or eradicating them, whatever suited her and her clients' interests best.

It was solid, ironclad, and perfect. More perfect and romantic than flowers and dates and frivolous things that she wasn't interested in. It was a great deal and one she was more than willing to accept. Included in their partnership was a VP position for her in Crowley's firm - a right hand to the man himself - and control and Madame of the new female brothel that he intended to open across town.

Aside from more money and a great opportunity, it was a chance to share her life with someone. It wasn't something she was ever really interested in, but with Crowley, her passion for business and appetite for sex crossed into a perfect match.

"And you wouldn't be upset about me continuing to see your gentleman?" she asked with a quirked brow. She did not expect his hearty chuckle.

"My Dear, fuck whomever you want. It's your heart and soul I'm after," he grinned, cupping her cheek.

After reviewing the contract - and knowing she'd have her lawyers review it before signing anything - she grinned, "You little devil," she teased.

Climbing into his lap, she wrapped her arms around his neck, grinding down against his cock which was already hard and ready for her.

"I accept."

PART 9

FOREVERS:

@lyarr24

@hobby27

@kazsrm67

@maliburenee

@440mxs-wife

@writercole

@spnbaby-67

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@leigh70

@laycblack

[makhonkit]

From Perfection To Authentic - Crafting Compelling Connections Ft Kionz C

Ever wonder how film makers feel when they see the transition of video production changes through the years from picture perfect high quality productions to now, vlog style?

In this episode of In The Spotlight, I'm super honored to have invited my friend  @KionzChan  to share his crazily inspiring story from being a Multi Award Film Maker, Film Director, Executive Producer to now very famous, especially among our Malay community friends, TikTok's Official #TikTokGuru and Business Coach in the field of Social Media Presence, Business Scaling and Expansions. You Cannot Miss This!

In this conversation, you'll learn about his long journey filled with technically creative pivots and self improvements. Fun fact, he has been posting on YouTube for as long as myself and have endured all the changes on YouTube gracefully over the years before he finally succeeded on TikTok! Most importantly, we talked a whole lot about Monetization too.

Be sure to like, comment, and most importantly share if you find this podcast useful. Thank you very much and advance and Enjoy the Show! Feel free to make use of these timestamps to go to the topics that you're most interested in.

00:00 Intro 01:02 How Did Ray Mak and  @KionzChan  became Friends? 01:55 First Impression? 04:22 What Do You Do On The Internet? 06:13 The True Definition Of A TikToker 07:00 Over 18 Years On Creating Contents and Thousands Of Contents Later 07:40 Learning The Reasons Of Failure 09:55 Who Is  @KionzChan  ? 12:25 Started TikTok, Experiencing The Difference! 14:20 Persistence And Continuous Improvement 14:59 Becoming An Author Too 16:50 The PIVOT 17:50  @garyvee 's Role 21:40 Making A Comeback On YouTube 23:30 Challenges? 25:20 SPEAKING 26:30 TikTok Official Creator 26:50 Forming Habits Lead To Polishing Skills 28:49 Konten Bahasa Melayu 33:06 MONETIZATION and Potentials 36:25 Words Of Wisdom

About In The Spotlight

I have been a content creator for almost two decades now as I've had the privilege to have started when all these platforms started. Over the years, I've made many great friends and have also enjoyed the many blessings from the Internet.

In The Spotlight is a Platform where my amazing content creators friends share their precious experiences so we can all learn together as well. I really hope you like it too.

Last but not least, special thanks to my good friend Kevin Chan for being the catalyst, push, idea and brains behind In The Spotlight.

This podcast was recorded with the amazing new BOYALINK - All-In-One Design Wireless Microphone System from  @BOYA-mic . They are so sleek and easy to use!

Special Discount Link to my Boya Link (Enjoy!) : https://shope.ee/8zgRUMM75J

#inthespotlight #creator #contentcreator

Follow  @KionzChan   YouTube : https://www.youtube.com/kionzchan Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/kionz.c TikTok : https://www.tiktok.com/@kionzchan Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/andycfk Twitter : https://twitter.com/KionzC

Talk to me : 🎵 Instagram ▸ http://instagram.com/makhonkit 🎵 Facebook ▸ http://facebook.com/raymakpiano 🎵 Twitter ▸ http://twitter.com/makhonkit

[youchangedmedean]

Why Dean’s Heaven Outfit is so Cursed

You may have seen my previous post about why Dean’s outfit in heaven is so cursed, but since then I have spotted even more.

According to Jared at the Virtual Con after 15x20 aired when asked ‘Were any lines added or ad libbed by you two [Jared and Jensen]?’ (starts at 29:28 timestamp)

... So, when we’re on that bridge and uh, and Dean says, “Heya Sammy” and then it cuts to Sam, and I’m dressed like, as best I could, like uh like the pilot with Dean, y’know. ...

So from this, we know that Sam on the bridge in 15x20 was supposed to be dressed like the pilot. I infer that Dean was also supposed to be dressed like the pilot but based on the wording it’s possible that’s not what he meant. As soon as we got BTS pics from the last day on set however, we all pointed out that they were dressed like the pilot but there is a difference.

So what did Dean wear in the pilot? He had on 2 different outfits. First a dark jacket and a red shirt.

After Dean gets covered in mud, he changes into a denim shirt and John’s leather jacket.

Another thing to note is that both Sam and Dean wear sneakers in the pilot. No boots for Dean.

So it looks like for Dean in 15x20, the heaven outfit is based on outfit 1 with the dark jacket, plain red shirt and jeans.

Dean consistently has plain red shirts through the seasons and continues to wear the dark jacket until 9x03 so I would bet that the very jacket was sitting in storage until s15.

Something to note is that while Sam is in a virtually identical outfit in 15x20 and the pilot, Dean is not. They must have had to source Sam’s outfit specifically for this. Sam does wear a hoodie and a beige jacket in later seasons so they could have built it out of Sam’s wardrobe but they chose not to. He does not wear these exact clothes at any other point in the series apart from in Heaven. Dean’s Heaven outfit is just made out of his clothing from later in the series. They both wore sneakers in the pilot but in Heaven Dean still has his boots while Sam is wearing sneakers.

Compare:

If I was building Dean’s heaven outfit out of later seasons outfits, I would have chosen his plain red shirt (note: this is not the Demon!Dean/MoC!Dean shirt, it is a different one).

By the later seasons, Dean doesn’t actually wear dark dark jackets much. His only black jacket in s15 was this denim one which he has had since 10x04:

But the wardrobe department decided not to go for these and instead decided on cursed items instead.

So what was Dean wearing in Heaven?

The Shirt

Now this shirt is just plain cursed. This is only seen at 2 other points in the whole series, and it was a new one for s15. 

We first see it in 15x04 Atomic Monsters for the Chuck AU where Lucifer!Sam kills Dean. Directed by Mr Jensen Ackles himself.

Thanks to him, we also get a good look at the shirt

So this is the first time we ever see this shirt and its for a Chuck AU where Sam kills Dean.

The second time we see it, its in 15x13 and this is another cursed appearance. It is worn by Huntercorp!Dean while pretending to be our Dean in the bunker.

And why was Huntercorp!Dean there at all? Because Chuck was destroying worlds.

When AU!Dean leaves the bunker, there is an exchange that is a bit cursed.

Huntercorp!DEAN: Oh, uh, you think we could keep the flannel shirts?

DEAN: No.

So the shirt actually gets a mention by Huntercorp!Dean.

What we see here is that this shirt is NEVER worn by our Dean. It is worn by a Chuck AU Dean and Huntercorp!Dean fleeing a world Chuck had destroyed while pretending to be our Dean.

We never see our Dean wear this shit until Heaven which seems like an odd choice.

Dean also doesn’t normally wear red and black plaid shirt. In fact, the previous one he had has an interesting history as pointed out by @wigglebox​ when we were discussing it.

It is first seen in 12x21 and he continues to wear it into 12x23 when Dean has to go into Mary’s mind.

We then see it again and for the last time in 13x16 Scoobynatural.

Both of these episodes are sort of AU episodes where he’s venturing into another character’s mind or heading into Scooby-Doo world.

So both Dean’s black and red plaid shirts have a cursed history relating things not being real and for this specific shirt, AUs. They could have chosen a plain red shirt almost identical to the pilot but they chose not to.

The Jacket

Dean has this jacket for a long time. He has a blue one and a black one. This black jacket has been around since s9 and gets worn a fair bit. On the whole, it doesn’t have a very happy history, its first worn for Kevin’s funeral in 9x10 and is worn after Claire is bitten by a Werewolf in 12x16.

However, the most notable thing about this jacket is what should have been it’s demise.

Dean is wearing it in 13x23 when he fights Lucifer and AU!Michael takes over his body.

At the end of the episode, we see that Michael has changed dean’s clothes and presumably ditched them somewhere.

Dean comes back at the end of 14x02 wearing Michael’s clothes. He arrives back at the bunker in 14x03 and changes into Dean clothes but is missing his watch for the whole episode, presumably because Michael ditched it. The denim shirt Dean wears in 13x23 is never seen again (yes, I have watched s14 and s15 just to check and have spreadsheets for Dean’s outfits!). His boots are back in 14x03 but I suppose you could argue he had multiple pairs.

We are left to assume that the jacket is also gone (and it really should be gone) but it makes a miraculous reappearance in 14x13 Lebanon.

Now this episode is an odd episode. They get their Dad back by messing up time, Cas doesn’t know them until they reset it back again. The shirt in this episode is also notable and I will write a post on it soon. So again, we have part of Dean’s heaven outfit connecting to alternative timelines where it really shouldn’t be at all.

BUT IT GETS WORSE EVERYONE!

This jacket appears at just one other point in s15. Now if you had to pick the most cursed of cursed times to put it where would you put it on Dean?

The Vamp Chuck future in 15x09 where Sam and Dean die as vampires.

So this jacket should have disappeared in 13x23 but reappears for an episode where time is altered in 14x13 and when Chuck is showing Sam the future in 15x09 if they ‘win’ and they die as vampires. Dean is then killed on a vampire hunt in 15x20 and ends up wearing this jacket in Heaven. Cool, cool.

This jacket becomes connected to our Dean but in altered timelines and worlds while the shirt is connected to alternative Deans. Both the shirt and the jacket have direct connections to Chuck.

So we see Dean in Heaven wearing this cursed outfit drinking cursed El Sol beer with the same cursed monkey from 14x13 Lebanon (see above, it was in the roadhouse too).

This is not an outfit that screams happy. This is not an outfit that screams Sam and Dean won. This is an outfit that seems to scream Chuck won. 

I guess we’ll just have to wait until Jackles manages to get a continuation...

One final odd thing to note. We all remember Jensen’s video posted before the finale when he was dressing up as Dean for the last time “at least for now”. Well he wasn’t actually wearing the outfit Dean wore in Heaven although all the Heaven scenes were shot on the last day of filming, the 10th of September.

He was wearing the Heaven plaid shirt, but not the Heaven Jacket. It was Dean’s black denim jacket I pointed out earlier. If you look it has seams that the Heaven Jacket doesn’t and the pocket flaps are a different shape.

I have gone through all the Heaven scenes and he is wearing the Heaven jacket in all of them. But I can’t think of a reason why on a hot day in September when Jensen is getting changed into costume he would have a different one of Dean’s jackets on over the shirt he needs to wear for the scenes.

[study-coffee-chicago]

Seasons of PD: Season 7: Don’t You Ever Do That Again, You Hear Me? (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister! Imagine)

A/N: There are mentions of B1ack Liv3s M4tter (apparently this ended up in that tag, so I changed the wording, so hopefully it’s not there anymore) in regards to peaceful protests in this. And there are mentions of counter-protesters causing riots. I tried my best to portray this as professionally as possible with Y/N's views, Kevin's views, and Jay's views. I did not try to offend anyone at all and I'm very sorry if I did.

Also, I don't know if one part counts as threat of sexual coercion, but I'm fairly certain that's what it's called, so trigger warning for that.

Your age: 18

Jay's age: 32

Will's age: 34

"I get that it's important to you, but I'm not letting you go!" Jay argued as you stood across from him in a screaming match.

"Why? Because You don't believe the same things as me because you haven't met a bad cop? Because you fought for this country and know people who died for it?" you yelled back.

"Yes, me being a cop and a soldier obviously has something to do with this! But I'm also trying to keep you safe! They turn into riots!"

"You do know that's not the Black Lives Matter protesters who start them, right? They're peaceful. Counter-protesting assholes come and start things to give peaceful protesters a bad image!"

"I don't want you to get hurt if something happens! Tear gas hurts, kid. I don't want you to come home with burning eyes and the possibility of going blind and tell me I'm right. I'm trying to prevent that!"

"I know you are, Jay! I just want you to let me have my own damn opinions and do what I want for once!"

"Has a cop ever hurt you in some way? Pulled you over illegally?" Jay roared.

You wanted to tell him your story about something like that that had happened five weeks ago, two weeks after the infection scare across the entire city, but you couldn't because you knew he'd do something stupid and you didn't want that. "No, but--"

His phone rang, cutting you off. "I'll be there," Jay said quickly. Then, he turned back to you. "I gotta go, caught a case. I'll see you later and we can talk about this. Calmly."

"So, you're saying there's a chance you'll let me go?"

"There's maybe a .001% chance, but sure, believe what you want."

You rolled your eyes and he left. But, as he shut and locked the apartment door, he stopped. "Love you," he whispered. Because, with what he did on the job, he knew that there was the possibility every day of him not coming home to you.

***

When you woke up, you were shocked not to see a text from Jay between 3 and 5 am saying that he wouldn't make it home tonight. He usually made it a priority when on a case to tell you that he wouldn't be coming home so that you wouldn't worry.

But, there was a voicemail from him around 11 pm last night and it was currently 9 am.

You put your phone on speaker and played it.

"Hey, Y/N, I'm sorry about arguing. If you really want to go, I think Kevin has his RDO tomorrow so I can see if he's going if you-- OW!" Then, the line just continued playing, and dragging noises were heard until there was a crash and the line went dead.

"Jay? Jay?" What the hell had happened? You quickly replayed the message to make sure it wasn't an issue with your phone, but when you heard the same exact thing again, you knew something had gone terribly wrong.

You went to dial Hailey's number to ask if she had seen Jay when there was a loud knock on your door. You quickly ran across the apartment and looked out the peephole. You saw Hailey and Adam and quickly flung open the door.

"Hey, Y/N," Adam said as he entered.

"Have you guys seen Jay?" you asked.

You saw Hailey visibly swallow. "Listen," she started, but you cut her off.

"What happened? What's going on? He usually texts me if he's going to be working until the morning and I didn't get a text and I got a voicemail and--" You took a deep, gasping breath.

"What voicemail?" Hailey asked as she placed a hand on your shoulder.

"I- It cut off partway through and he yelled and-- wait, he wasn't with you?"

"No," Hailey answered. "He said he had some personal stuff to take care of when we were at a scene and then took off. Then, he never came back, so we decided to check here to see if he just came home or something happened."

"He never came home." Your eyes widened, finally processing what it meant if he wasn't here and Intelligence couldn't find him. "You're telling me he's missing? Again? Oh, no. This can't be happening, not again. Not after our fight last night. I didn't even tell him what happened or that I loved him or--"

"Y/N, I need you to take a deep breath," Hailey told you and you tried to match her breathing. "His radio might just be dead or something like that." She knew that she was lying, but she was trying to stop you from freaking out. "Can you give me your phone so Adam and I can listen to the voicemail?"

You nodded and handed Adam your phone. He pressed play and you watched as his jaw clenched as he was listening to it.

"Shit," he muttered once he was done. "We need you to come to the district with us. Just for safety."

"Can you give me a minute?" you asked. "I- I'm in my pajamas and I haven't brushed my teeth and--"

"We'll leave in half an hour, okay?" Hailey asked and you nodded. "While you're getting ready, we'll send the voicemail over to Kim and Kev. Jay's gonna be okay."

"How do you know that?" you almost whispered.

"Because Jay's one of the strongest people I know," she answered. But, in reality, she wasn't sure about that. They had no idea where he was and according to the timestamp on that voicemail, it had been a little over ten hours since he sent it. For all they knew, Jay could be out of Chicago right now. Scratch that, he could be out of Illinois.

***

"When did you get this voicemail?" Hank asked as everyone in Intelligence, minus Jay but including you, were in the bullpen and trying to trace where the call came from.

"Around 11 last night, Boss," Adam answered for you.

"Okay. So it's been almost 11 hours," Voight said.

"I need a break, excuse me," you said and quickly excused yourself to the locker room.

You made your way to the locker room and sat down and leaned against the wall. This couldn't be happening again, not after that crazy borderline sociopathic drug dealer kidnapped Jay a few years ago and Erin went in and saved him. This could not be happening again.

You thought back to the fight last night and something your mom would always say when she was in a fight with one of the boys or when you had thrown a temper tantrum and then had to go to bed.

I'll always tell you I love you because when you walk out that door or go to bed, I'll never know if that was the last chance I had to tell you I love you.

God, if you hadn't argued with Jay, maybe you wouldn't be feeling this way. Obviously, you'd be feeling scared and upset because Jay was missing and no one had any idea where he was, but at least you wouldn't feel guilty like you currently did.

You felt guilty about starting that fight in the first place by bringing it up even though you knew what his answer was going to be. You felt guilty about yelling. But most of all, you felt guilty and you regretted not saying love you when he left...because that might've been the last time you'd have been able to tell that to your big brother who had always been there for you...even when he really didn't want to.

Jay's Nokia flip phone buzzed as he walked out of school. It was his mom.

"Hey, Mom," he greeted.

"Jay Halstead, if you answered your phone while you're driving..." she trailed off, trying to think of a good threat.

"Mom, I didn't. I was talking to some friends about going for tacos tonight, so I just walked out of school a minute ago."

"Oh," she said.

"What oh?" Jay asked. "That sounded like a bad oh, Mom."

"Well, I wish I would've known that before a professor called in sick to give an exam to his students and I agreed to pick up the extra hours."

"What are you talking about?"

"I can't bring Y/N to the dentist. And I thought since you weren't busy, you could. I also may or not have promised her that she could go to Build-A-Bear after to get a new outfit for Beary because she's so scared."

"Mom," Jay groaned.

"I know, I'm sorry. But, how about this: you do this for me, and I'll extend your curfew by two hours on Friday and Saturday."

"Three," Jay countered.

"Two." Amelia Halstead stood strong.

"Three."

"Two and a half."

"Deal," Jay agreed.

"Thank you. I'll see you tonight. Love you."

"Love you, too."

***

"No," you whined as Jay told you that you had to leave after he walked you home from school later. "I don't wanna go to the dentist. They scary."

"No, they're not," Jay told you. The doctor was what was scary for him with all the needles for the shots. But, the dentist had never bothered him, even when he was a little kid it had never bothered him.

"No!"

"What if I let you bring Beary into the dentist, would you go then?" Jay practically pleaded.

"And you give me chocolate before we leave?"

"If you promise to grab your toothbrush and brush your teeth in the bathroom at the dentist, then yes, I'll give you some chocolate to eat on the way there." Jay was desperate at this point. He knew he shouldn't be giving you everything you wanted, but what were big brothers with a giant age gap for anyway if not to try and spoil his little sister?

"Okay!" You ran off to go grab Beary and your toothbrush and toothpaste while Jay made his way to a high cabinet in the kitchen and grabbed five squares of Dove milk chocolate, three for you and two for him.

In the car, Jay handed you the cholates and you started eating them while you held Beary close to you, trying to gain some comfort out of your favorite stuffed animal.

***

You gripped Jay's hand as you sat and waited for your name to be called. Beary was held in your other hand and you were squeezing him tight against your chest. You had just brushed your teeth like you promised Jay that you would, but you were still utterly terrified.

"Y/N Halstead?" a dental hygienist came out and asked.

You didn't say a word, just held Jay's hand tighter.

"That's you," Jay said gently and with a smile on his face, trying to make you feel less scared.

"No, not me," you told him as you frantically shook your head.

The dental hygienist squatted down in front of you. "Are you Y/N?" You didn't do anything, but Jay must've nodded to confirm that it was indeed you. "And who's this?" she asked as she shook Beary's paw.

"Beary," you said shyly.

"Well, I'm fairly certain that Beary will be with you the entire time. We even have little sunglasses you and he can wear when we shine the really bright light on you to protect both your little eyes. Does that sound good?"

You turned to Jay. "Me and Beary get sunglasses, Jay Jay!"

"I heard! Do you want me to come back with you?"

You thought for a second. "Please come."

Jay laughed. "Okay." He turned to the dental hygienist. "Is that okay?"

"Perfectly fine."

You stood up and held Jay's hand as you walked back into the dentist to get your six-month check-up on your baby teeth.

***

"That wasn't so bad was it?" Jay asked as the two of you walked out to his car after you finished.

"No!" you said as you shook your head. "I even got a pretty bracelet with Belle on it, see?" you exclaimed as you held your hand out to him to show off your yellow bracelet with a charm that had Belle from Beauty and the Beast on it.

Jay acted all surprised and said it was pretty even though he watched as you had picked it out while he had explained to the secretary how your mom would call to schedule your next appointment in six months.

Jay opened his car and made sure you were buckled in and then got in himself and started driving.

"Do you know where we're going?"

You gasped. You had forgotten you got to go to Build-A-Bear after!

"Build-A-Bear!" you yelled. The volume of that yell would've made Jay wince had he not been driving.

"Yup, that's where we're going."

"I think I'm gonna get Beary some new pajamas," you decided.

"What color?"

You held Beary out in front of you. "What color pjs do you want, Beary?" You brought him up to your ear and nodded as he "told" you what color pajamas he wants. "He said blue!"

"Blue pajamas. I'm pretty sure we can find those."

***

Jay and you walked into Build-A-Bear Workshop at the mall and you were met with children running around. To Jay, this was the definition of hell. Except for you, he was fine with you running around, but he really didn't like all the other kids that he had to be careful not to bump into.

"C'mon, Jay Jay!" you told him as you tugged him along to the pajama section.

He allowed himself to be tugged along by you and then you held up almost every single pair of blue pajamas to Beary to see which one was his favorite. He had decided on a pair of light blue pajamas with stars all over them. There was even a cute little hat with a pom-pom on top to go with the pajamas.

Jay paid and then you left with Beary and his brand-new pajamas. You had plans to have him sleep in those pajamas tonight, too.

Unbeknownst to you, Jay hadn't even really wanted to come. The only reason he brought you was that he got his curfew extended. But to you, it was just another fun afternoon with your big brother.

You were startled out of your daydream when you felt a hand on your shoulder. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

Kevin.

"It's fine. I'm fine," you said quickly.

"No, you're not. And that's okay. Hailey and Voight went to see if Jay's where his phone pinged at."

"We fought," you told him.

"You fought?" Kevin asked as he slid down the wall to sit next to you.

"It was stupid. I should've just agreed with him and maybe I wouldn't be feeling like this."

"Like what?"

"Like utter shit." You sighed and ran a hand through your hair. "We were arguing about the BLM protests that were happening tonight. I wanted to go, but he wouldn't let me. The last thing I did was roll my eyes at him, Kev."

The two of you sat in silence for a few moments while Kevin figured out how to comfort you.

"Maybe talking about it will help. What'd you argue about?"

"Just that I wanted to go and he wouldn't let me because he thinks riots will break out. And you and I both know that's not the BLM protesters, that's the counter-protesters. But, he thinks I'll get hurt. I also think it's because he's a cop, so he feels like I'm protesting him, but I'm not. I'm protesting the system."

Kevin nodded. "I get it. Believe me, I do. I live it every day."

"How do you do it?" you asked. "Be an activist and a cop at the same time?"

"Just try and do the right thing with the information you have. And, explain that you're protesting the system and the bad apples, not the police force as a whole."

"I tried. But Jay doesn't think I have a right to protest because I've never had a bad experience with a cop." Which was a lie, but you weren't ready to talk about that just yet.

"Did he say that exactly?" Kevin asked.

"No, but, he asked me if a cop has ever illegally pulled me over."

Kevin nodded. "I know Jay and I know he would never say that you didn't have the right protest. He fought for that right. He mention anything else?"

"That tear gas hurts."

"I think he just wanted to keep you safe, same thing I'd do for Jordan and Vanessa."

"He sounded like he changed his mind on his voicemail, though. He thought that maybe if you were going, then he'd let me go...at least, that's what it sounded like."

Kevin nodded. "All I can say is that until we found Jay, I'm not going to one. Getting your brother is my first priority and it's the first priority of everyone in this unit."

"My first priority, too."

"Kev!" Adam yelled as he banged on the door. "You in there?"

"Yeah, bro! What's up?" Kevin asked.

"We need you to meet with someone!"

***

The hours passed and with each of them that did, you got more and more nervous for Jay's safety. You guessed that this is how he felt when you asked if you could go to the protest, knowing that he'd constantly be worrying about you until you came home safely.

"Y/N, we gotta go," Trudy said as she entered the bullpen around 9:30 pm that night.

"Why? What's going on?" you asked as you grabbed your phone and started following her.

"They found Jay."

"Is he okay?" you asked quickly.

"Y/N..."

"No! He can't be dead, Trudy! He can't!" you wailed.

"He's not. But, he has been shot."

You froze. Shot. Jay had been shot.

"He's en route to Chicago Med right now."

"Can you- can you bring me there?"

"That's where we're going right now."

***

"Will!" you yelled as you ran into the ED and saw your oldest brother.

You ran right up to him and hugged him, not caring that he almost dropped his iPad he had been using to chart.

"Whoa, Y/N." He set the iPad down. "Hey, I know. But Crockett's operating on him right now and he's one of the best surgeons in the hospital."

"I thought you were better than him. You need to do the surgery, Will. you need to save Jay!"

"Y/N, I know it sucks, but I'm family. As much as I want to operate on him, I can't legally do that."

You paused and looked up at him. His eyes were slightly red, but he hadn't been bawling the way that you had been.

"Dr. Halstead! Incoming!" Maggie yelled.

"What does she mean?" you asked, still hanging onto him. "You're still working?"

"There's been a ten-car pile-up on the highway. I have to. It's my job."

"But Jay's in surgery!" you yelled as you pulled away from him. "These people are more important to you than your own brother?"

"They aren't but--"

"But you're working anyway instead of waiting to find out what happens to him?"

"I can't do anything to help Jay right now. But I can help all these people who are pouring in."

"Dr. Halstead!" Maggie shouted again.

"I'll be up in a few hours, I promise," Will told you.

***

A few hours had passed and it was now past midnight. Jay was still in surgery. Will was sitting next to you, in a spare pair of clothes he had packed instead of his scrubs that were covered in blood, and you were leaning your head on his shoulder, close to being asleep.

That was until Crockett came out and Will jumped up, causing your head to hit the back of the chair.

"Ow," you mumbled.

"Sorry," Will apologized and then turned back to Crockett. "What's the verdict?"

"He lost a lot of blood," Crockett told the two of you.

"But he's gonna pull through, right?" Will asked what the two of you were both thinking.

"We'll be out of blood soon."

"What do you mean out of blood?" Will asked, taking a step toward the surgeon. "There's no way you can be out of blood!"

"With that pile-up, we can. I'd recommend you go and say your goodbyes and pray for a miracle."

Will put his hands on the back of his head and started pacing the room. Your breath caught in your throat. This could not be happening. Jay couldn't die, he just couldn't.

Crockett started to walk back towards the operating room.

"Wait!" you yelled. You didn't know what had taken over you, but at this moment, you'd do anything to save your brother. You rolled up your sleeve. "Take my blood."

"Y/N," was all Will could manage to get out.

"I'm sorry, Y/N, but there's protocol for that. I'd love to let you do it, but--"

"Fuck protocol!" you yelled, all the anger and sadness and anxiety that had built up over the past fifteen hours exploding at this very moment. "Rush my labs. Or don't even get my labs done at all. I haven't had sex, so I don't have any STDs. I don't have any diseases or deficiencies since I moved in with Jay years ago. My blood type's O-neg, so I'm a universal donor. Take my goddamn blood, Crockett!" You didn't care that all that information was out in the open because you were barely processing what you were saying. The only thing you cared about was making sure that your brother was okay.

"Y/N," Will said as he walked up to you and placed a hand on your shoulder.

"Don't touch me! And you sure as hell don't want to tell me to calm down!"

"Y/N," Will started again as he took his hand off your shoulder. "What Crockett's saying is that it's not ethical for him to do this. He could get fired."

"Where's the paperwork?" you asked as you turned back to Crockett. "I'll sign whatever I have to sign to make sure you aren't liable at all, that I'm donating this of my own free will. You can even take double the amount of blood that you normally do since I'm a universal donor. Just get me the paperwork."

Crockett and Will shared a look.

"I'll go get a nurse to get you the paperwork."

"Wait, no, no, no," Will said as he walked closer to Crockett. "You can't be serious about this!"

"She said she'll sign it."

"But, I have to co-sign it since she's a minor. So, no, you are not donating blood, Y/N. You almost passed out when I drew vials of your blood years ago. You know what's gonna happen if we take two units of blood? You are gonna feel like utter shit."

"Last I checked, I'm 18, so I can sign my own paperwork! God, I'm not a fucking child anymore, Will! I can make my own decisions!" you yelled back. "And if I don't do this, Jay will die. He'll die, Will. So, I'm giving him my blood with or without your support."

***

You sat in a chair, the ones that Will had told you about years ago with the big padded bar thing that came down in front of you in case you passed out. Typically, they'd just have you lay down in a bed, but since they were short on beds and Will told them that you had a history of getting dizzy and nauseous during simple blood draws, they had decided to put you here instead.

"Last chance to back out," Will told you as the nurse tied off your arm with a blue rubber tie and started to rub your arm to get the big vein in your left forearm to show.

"Jay's dying. No way in hell am I backing out."

Will sighed. He knew you were doing the right thing, but he also knew that you were going to feel terrible after, and he hated seeing you like that. "Okay," he said. "I'll stay here until they get the needle in you and then I'll get you some juice and cookies."

"Ready?" Monique asked.

"Ready," you confirmed. You turned to Will and squeezed your eyes shut as the needle pierced your vein. You heard the sound of the machine and knew your blood was going in there, but you didn't want to look. Getting your blood drawn, you could watch. But this, this was just too much blood to see, so you looked at Will.

"Doing okay?" he asked a few minutes later.

"Yeah," you answered because that was the absolute truth: you were feeling just fine.

"Okay, I'm gonna go get you some cookies and juice. I'll get an update on Jay while I'm out there, too."

You nodded and he left the room.

This wasn't so bad.

***

Okay, so you were lying to yourself. You were currently in hell. Giving the blood hadn't been an issue, it was how you felt after you were done giving blood.

You were currently sitting in that same chair, drinking some juice that Will had brought you. He told you that there was still no update on Jay, but that they were sending the blood back to him right now. (They had rushed labs on a small vial of blood that Monique took before you started the donation. The results came back while you were giving blood, and since your blood was clean, you could give it to Jay.) But, God, but you felt absolutely awful.

"You doing okay?" Will asked.

You shook your head and then stopped because it made you dizzy and put your head in your hands. "No," you groaned.

He handed you a glass of water. "Drink a bit of this too and then I'll open your pack of cookies."

"Why do you want me to drink water and not juice?" you asked as you closed your eyes and tried to stop the spinning in your head.

"Because, you're sweating, Short Stack. Need you to stay hydrated."

You took a few sips of water and then went back to your juice. Will handed you your pack of chocolate chip cookies and you started to eat them.

"Mhm," you groaned and laid your head down on the padded bar thing in front of you that kept you from falling out of the chair. "I don't feel so good."

You felt hot and cold at the same time and the world seemed to spin every time you lifted your head up. And, those cookies did not sit well with you.

"How do you feel? What hurts?" Will asked, jumping into doctor mode since Monique wasn't around. Will assured her that he could look after you while you recovered from your blood being donated at twice the normal amount.

"I just feel like shit," you told him, not picking up your head.

"You gotta give me some symptoms. Give me some symptoms and then I can help."

"Mhm, fine." You looked up at him and blinked slowly. "I feel hot and cold and sweaty. And I feel dizzy and nauseous."

"Okay. That's either a vasovagal reaction or from your blood pressure being low or from your  heart rate being slowed down."

"What's that reaction thingy?"

"You don't like blood in general, so a nervous system response can happen, which could explain your reactions. But, your BP could also be low, which could explain all this too. And, it's one in the morning and you haven't slept yet, so tiredness could also be a factor."

"Great," you said sarcastically as you remembered the last time your blood pressure was low.

You had taken some of Jay's medication that he had to ward off his PTSD-induced nightmares after you were involved in a shooting at a house party. The one time you took them without sleeping directly after, you felt almost exactly like this...except without the sweatiness. You just mostly felt dizzy. You had called Will, he came over, and then you ended passing out and he had to get you to Med. Then you were admitted and they got your pressure back up. You were also prescribed sleeping pills which had helped immensely.

Will grabbed a blood pressure cuff from a drawer. "Arm," he told you. You held out your arm and he wrapped the cuff around it and pumped the end of it.

You waited as he looked at the gauge on the blood pressure cuff. Will said one number over another number, which meant nothing to you, but must've meant something to him. You raised your eyebrows, hoping he was going to tell you what those numbers meant in non-medical English terms.

"BP's low, which explains most of the symptoms," he told you.

You took another bite of your cookie and washed it down with some juice, but then immediately after started dry heaving.

Will rushed around and then thrust a pink basin under your mouth.

You took a deep breath after you finally stopped dry heaving about thirty seconds later.

"Better?" Will asked. You shook your head. "I'm going to get you an IV of anti-nausea medication."

You were going to argue with him about how he wasn't working, so he probably couldn't get you that. And, you were fairly certain he couldn't prescribe things to family. But, you felt terrible, so you really don't care if Will was being reckless and borderline unethical/illegal right now.

You nodded and then laid your head back down.

When Will came back, he thought you were asleep, but when you heard footsteps, you looked up.

"Alright," he began as he assembled the IV. "Last poke of the day, I promise."

"After this can I take a nap in the on-call room?" you asked as you held your arm out to him once again.

"You know I can't let you do that." Will tied a blue band around your arm and started rubbing it to get a vein in the inside of your elbow. Then, he noticed your pale and sweaty face. "Fine. Hopefully, Goodwin won't fire me after this. But I have a good reason. Turn so you don't see the needle."

You did and closed your eyes. You felt the poke and squeezed your eyes shut, but then it subsided and you felt that weird feeling of the medicine going straight into your veins. God, you hoped this worked.

You hoped Jay would survive because you didn't just go through all that for nothing.

***

You slowly opened your eyes as you felt someone shaking your shoulder. "No," you groaned as you turned to face the other side of the bed.

But then you remembered where you were: the doctors on-call room because Jay had been shot. Maybe it was Will waking you up to tell you--

"Short Stack, wake up. Jay's awake."

That got you wide awake.

You snapped your eyes open, rolled over, and jumped out of bed.

"I take it you're feeling better?" Will asked.

"Sleep helps. Let's go!"

Will quickly led you out of the room and through some hallways and up a few flights of stairs to Jay's recovery room.

He was currently talking to Hailey.

"Jay!" you exclaimed as you burst into the room to see him with a sling and see Hailey helping him with his jacket.

"Hey, Short Stack," he greeted and then turned his attention back to Hailey. "Sorry, what were you saying?"

"Uh, just that I'm glad you're back," she told him. "I'll give you some time with your siblings." She turned her attention to Will. "Oh, and the things you told me to tell Kim to get are in that corner." She pointed to the left front corner of the room. "Bye, guys." She waved and then left.

You gave Jay a huge hug and tried to avoid his arm that was in a sling. "Don't you ever do that again, you hear me?" you told him seriously and then looked up at him with tears in your eyes.

Jay chuckled. "I'll try not to."

"You better do more than try." You went back to leaning your head against his chest as tears soaked his t-shirt.

"Hey, hey, don't cry," he soothed. "I'm okay. I'm fine, Y/N."

"I was so scared. The last thing we would've done was argue. I'm so sorry. I should never have asked to go to those protests. I know you were just trying to protect me--"

"Hey, it's okay for you to have your own opinions and views. It's just gonna take me a while to get used to you being an adult now and not that little sister who would always hold my hand and beg to go to Build-A-Bear."

"Speaking of Build-A-Bear," Will started and then walked over to the corner of the room and picked up two boxes. They were white boxes with dark blue designs on them. You knew those boxes: they were what the workers put new bears in when a kid came and bought one. You let go of Jay. Will peeked into one of the holes. "This one's for you." He handed Jay a box. "And this one's for you." He handed you the other box.

"You got us Build-A-Bears?" you asked as you raised an eyebrow.

"Just open the boxes."

You did and laughed when you saw Beary in the box, dressed in a hospital gown and white little bunny slippers. Your brothers were not kidding when they said they'd get one for you.

Jay laughed as he opened his. His Build-A-Bear was a light blue color and it also had on a hospital gown as well as a sling on one arm. The bear also had on a policeman cap. "Oh, man," Jay said as he continued laughing.

"Press the right paw," Will told him and he did, causing Ruzek's voice to float through the room.

Stop getting kidnapped. Glad you're okay, though.

You started laughing hysterically at this point.

"One more thing," Will said as he walked over to the counter and pulled out a marker and two hospital bracelets. On one he wrote Beary Halstead. "Jay, what are you naming your bear?" Will asked.

"I gotta name it?"

"Um, it's not an it. It's a he or a she...could be a they, too," you said.

"Fine. I gotta name him?"

"Yes," Will told him.

Jay groaned. "Fine. Blue."

"Boo! That's boring," you said.

He groaned again. "Detective Blue. There. Better?"

"Better," you confirmed.

Will wrote Det. Blue Halstead on the other hospital band. Then, he handed Beary's to you and Detective Blue's to Jay.

"I cannot believe you," Jay said.

"I can," Will laughed. "Now put it on him. Just like Y/N's doing with Beary."

Jay reluctantly put it on Detective Blue's arm. But then he realized something. "Wait, why does Beary have a hospital gown if Y/N wasn't in the hospital?"

"Yeah, about that..." you trailed off.

Jay cocked his head to the side. "What did you do this time?"

"Other than save your life, I got nauseous and Will had to give me anti-nausea medication," you explained.

"Wait, back up. You saved my life? How?" Jay asked as he looked between you and Will.

"She essentially cussed at Crockett until she got what she wanted," Will said nonchalantly.

"Which was...?" Jay pried.

"Giving you blood because the hospital was out because of a car accident. If she wouldn't have given you blood..." Will trailed off, not wanting to say the words.

"I'd be dead," Jay practically whispered.

"Yeah," Will confirmed, his voice at about the same volume as Jay's.

Jay felt himself getting choked up as he pulled you in for another hug. "Thank you."

"I know you'd do the same for me."

"In a heartbeat, Short Stack. In a heartbeat."

You stayed like that until Will went ahead and broke the comfortable silence that had fallen over the three of you.

"I hate to break this up, but there's something else I need to tell you guys," Will said.

You and Jay both turned to him and you let yourself out of Jay's embrace. "Which is?" you asked.

"Voight gave Jay two weeks furlough to recover and I talked Goodwin into giving me two weeks vacation--"

"How in the hell did you do that?" Jay asked.

"Let's just say I'm going to be working Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve, and New Year's Day. But that's beside the point. We have two weeks of vacation time."

"You do know I work right?" you asked.

"At a coffee shop, not at a big kid job," Will said. "And, I had Kim and Adam stop in there on their way to get the bears. They explained the situation and your work gave you two weeks off. Adam said he may have had to flash his badge, but that's beside the point."

"And you took vacation because...?" you asked.

"We need to make sure Jay relaxes and there's so many protests-turned-riots happening right now that we should probably get out of here."

"You do know it's not the peaceful protesters starting those, right? It's counter-protesters and other people who are racist bigots and people who decided they have no other choice but to be violent," you said, making your views known once again.

"I'm very much aware, Y/N. But, no matter who started it, people were running from tear gas and burning buildings last night."

"Alright, back on topic," Jay started, not wanting to have another argument like he had two days ago with you. "Where are we going?"

"I figured Wisconsin would be a good choice."

***

"It's my turn to pick the music," you whined as Will looked for another song on your long drive to Wisconsin.

"I'm the oldest, so I get control of it," Will argued.

"No, you've controlled it for the last three hours. I've had to listen to nineties hip-hop for that long. My eardrums are gonna bleed. Please make him give the aux, Jay."

"Dude, just give her the aux, and then she'll be quiet. Remember, she likes early 2000s pop-punk and 2000s stuff in general. We'll probably know most of it."

Will reluctantly handed you the aux. "Thank you. And, just to remind you two, I'm a big fan of Taylor Swift's first few albums and 5 Seconds of Summer."

You clicked play on Take What You Want by One OK Rock featuring 5 Seconds of Summer. You queued up some more songs by 5 Seconds of Summer and two by Taylor Swift, just to mess with your brothers, and then you added songs they would know like All the Small Things by Blink-182, Check Yes, Juliet by We The Kings, Dear Maria, Count Me In by All Time Low, and Ocean Avenue by Yellowcard.

By the time Dear Maria, Count Me In started playing, all three of you were jamming out, which caused Jay to forget to put his blinker on when he changed lanes...and there was a cop right there in the emergency turnaround.

Jay heard and saw the sirens behind him and slowed down. He knew the drill from pulling people over on his days on patrol. Now that he was in Intelligence, he practically just ripped the criminals out of their cars and handcuffed them against the side of their (usually stolen) car.

He got out his license and registration, along with his badge because he did have his service weapon with him. He'd be damned not bringing it with him in this day and age...and sometimes there were coyotes and he and Will didn't know if the old hunting rifle at the cabin that your grandpa used to use even had ammunition in and if there was even any ammunition at the cabin.

Jay rolled down his window as the officer walked up to him.

Your hands started to sweat and your heart started to race as you remembered your last encounter with an officer that you didn't know.

You were driving home from the library late at night after studying for a biology exam. And no, the library wasn't an excuse for going out and partying. You genuinely had gone to the library and had had a great and very focused study session for a few hours.

All of a sudden, you saw flashing lights and heard sirens. You turned down your music. You looked in your rear-view mirror and saw that the cop was right on your tail. He turned off his sirens and then turned them on and off quickly.

You were the one getting pulled over.

You pulled off to the side of the road and then rolled down your window.

"License and registration," the officer told you. He looked young, maybe a rookie.

"What's the problem officer?" you asked. Jay always told you that you had a right to know why you had been pulled over.

"You were going three miles over the speed limit, did you know that?"

"I don't recall how fast I was driving." Jay always told you never to admit to speeding because then you could fight the ticket if you ended up getting one.

"License and registration, please," he repeated.

"Reaching into my glove compartment and moving some CDs to get my registration," you narrated and then handed the registration to the officer. "Reaching over to my passenger seat to grab my purse which has my license in it...unzipping my purse...reaching in for my license." You handed him your license.

He ran your information and then came back to the window. "I'm sorry, Miss, but I have to give you a ticket."

You furrowed your eyebrows. For three miles over the speed limit? No fucking way was this happening.

"Uh," was all you could say.

"But, there is something you can do to get out of this ticket. You help me out, I help you out."

"I- I don't understand," you stuttered.

He looked down and you followed where he was looking and cupping himself with the hand that wasn't holding your license and registration.

"I- I..."

"Or I can just up this speeding ticket to going twenty miles over it. Say there was an open container in the car, too," he said.

You had no idea what to say. You couldn't risk getting your insurance upped and getting a minor in possession charge. You'd never be allowed to drive again!

But, there's no way you'd do this. You couldn't. But he was so much bigger than you that he could hold you down with one hand tied behind his back.

He placed his hand on the door handle. "You have three seconds to make your decision. One...Two..."

"My brother's Jay Halstead! Badge number 51163! His Sergeant's Hank Voight!" Your voice trembled as you yelled that and you were close to tears.

He looked back down at your license. It did say Y/N Halstead on it. He handed you back your license and registration. "Have a nice night."

Then, he walked back to his patrol car, got in, turned off the sirens, and drove off. You were so scared that you didn't even look to see what his last name or badge number was.

Once you had stayed pulled over for a good couple of minutes to make sure that the cop was nowhere in sight, you started driving again. You stopped at a drive-thru and got yourself a chocolate flurry with Oreos. Then, you sat in the parking lot with your hands still shaking and your heart still racing as you ate and started to cry. You cried for almost half an hour and waited there for another fifteen minutes so your eyes wouldn't be as puffy when you got home because you didn't want Jay asking questions.

"Y/N, you good?" Jay asked, taking you out of your thoughts.

"Yeah, yeah," you said quickly...almost too quickly. "Why?"

"Will just asked if you wanted to go back because we missed a song and you didn't answer."

"Yeah, I can do that." You quickly went back to the previous song and tried to sing with as much happiness as you did previously. But, you didn't get the image of that night or the feeling of dread out of your stomach for another hour.

***

You woke up the next morning very well-rested. The boys had taken the loft and the two twin beds that were up there and you got to take your mom and dad's old room because you were the only girl, so they said it was only fair that you got the bedroom.

You heard the dripping of water and got out of bed and then padded down the hall and to the kitchen. Jay was standing there in pajama pants and a t-shirt. (Thank God he wasn't shirtless for once in the morning. Your brothers really needed to learn how to put shirts on when they walked out of their rooms in the morning...and maybe by you telling them to put a shirt on all the time, you training them had finally paid off.) He drummed his fingers on the counter while he waited for the coffee to be done.

"Morning," you said.

He turned around. "Good morning. Shocked you're awake. It's only 8 am."

"And I'm shocked you haven't been up for two hours," you retorted.

"Oh, I've been up for an hour, just been reading upstairs. Will's not up yet, though."

"He always sleeps late when he doesn't have to work though, doesn't he?"

"Pretty much. We've made breakfast plans before and he's missed them because he was sleeping."

The timer went off on the coffee pot, alerting you that it was finished. Jay started to pour his in a tumbler. He held out a tumbler to you. You raised an eyebrow, silently wondering why he wasn't pouring it into a mug.

"I was gonna go for a morning canoe ride. You can come along if you want. Wouldn't want hot coffee spilling all over us," he told you.

"Did you bring creamer?" you asked.

"Irish cream creamer, just for you."

You reached into the fridge and grabbed the creamer.

"So, canoe ride?" Jay asked.

"Sure."

He poured coffee into a tumbler for you and then slid it to you to put your desired amount of creamer in.

***

Twenty minutes later, you were starting out in the canoe. You told Jay there was no way in hell that you'd be doing the rowing. He told you that he could only row with one arm because of his sling, so you'd have to do the other side. Skeptically, you started rowing. Jay told you that you'd be fine, just to follow his instructions.

Fifteen minutes later, when you were out in the middle of the lake, facing the forests of Wisconsin, he stopped.

"Why'd you stop?" you asked.

He picked up his tumbler of coffee off the floor of the canoe. "We need to talk."

"About what?" you asked as you picked up yours as well and held it with both hands.

"About your reaction last night when I got pulled over. You freaked. I need to know why."

"I- I didn't freak. I was just tired," you lied.

"You had quite the amount of energy right before that," he quipped.

"It's nothing."

"Y/N, I'm not letting this go. Is it because of the protests and riots and because of all the media coverage and those few bad apple cops and, I guess the system, that you're seeing that's making you nervous?"

"No, it's not that."

"Then what is it?"

"You're not going to let this go are you?" you asked.

"I will stay in this canoe in the middle of the lake until you tell me what is going on, Y/N Halstead."

"You wouldn't."

Jay shrugged with the arm that wasn't currently in a sling. "Try me."

You sighed. "Just don't be mad that I didn't tell you sooner, okay?"

"I won't. You have my word on that."

"So, a little over a month ago I was driving home from the library..."

***

When you finished, you were in tears. "Did you get a last name? Badge number?" Jay asked as he rubbed circles on your back with his good hand.

You sniffled. "N- No. I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for. Nothing at all."

"If I wouldn't have said- said your name...He had his hand on my door handle! And he was so much bigger than me. I'm sorry!"

You turned and buried your face in his chest. "Y/N, you have nothing to be sorry for."

"I should've told you right away, though! But you just had that really rough case and I didn't want to put too much on your shoulders and--"

"Y/N, I need you to take a deep breath. You need to breathe. This was not your fault. None of it was."

You calmed your breathing and just sat there, silent tears streaming down your face.

"That's why I wanted to go to the protests," you said after a few minutes. "Because I've actually had a bad experience with a cop."

"Which should've never happened in the first place."

"I was so scared," you whispered.

Jay just hugged you tighter as he thought about how strong his little sister was. You had given blood to save his life even though you knew you'd feel terrible after and you hadn't told him about this horrible cop--which he would kick this cop's ass the minute the got back to Chicago--because you didn't want him to have too much on his plate after that terrible case where he put an innocent man in jail and got him killed...which was the main reason he had been shot.

"When we get back to the cabin, I'll try and call Voight. I don't know if I'll have service, though."

"Why?" you asked.

"I'm gonna have him look up who was on their beat near you that night so he can go interrogate people on my behalf. Probably best he does it and not me." Because Jay knew that the minute he saw that cop, he wouldn't be able to hold himself back.

You nodded.

"Hey, cheer up, kid. We're here for two weeks, away from everything. Away from the city and everything that goes on there. And I can promise you that that cop will get what's coming to him, whether that be losing his job or going to jail or prison."

"Do I have to tell Will? Or can you tell him? I really don't want to talk about this again."

"I can do it," Jay answered. "Speaking of Will, if he's not up when we get back, what do we say we wake him up with some cold lake water?"

"Like dump it on him?" you asked as you widened your eyes. Jay nodded. "No, that's mean. Then he'll have to wait for his sheets to dry out and they'll smell the entire time."

"We have spare sheets and blankets in the closet."

"Fine, let's do it. But just so you know, I'm telling him that it was your idea and I also have a lock on my bedroom door here, which will make it harder for him to sneak in and dump water on me."

"I will be sleeping in your room tonight," Jay joked.

"Nope. It was your idea, so you're gonna have to live with Will's payback."

Those two weeks were filled with laughter, pranks, board games, corn hole, swimming, fishing (well, you read either in the canoe or on the dock while the boys fished), and just spending time with each other. You were glad that Will had the bright idea to take two weeks up here...even though he got drenched in cold lake water the first morning by you and Jay.

A/N: I got a request from @ La_lectrice_33 on wattpad for Y/N going to the dentist, so I hope you liked that little scene! I also got a request from an anon on here about Jay and Will's reactions to her growing up, so I put that in here, too. Thank you for over 23k reads! I won't be posting until this Sunday (August 1) when I start posting AUs for AU-gust. Please remember to like/reblog and comment because I love seeing those like/reblog notifications pop up and love reading your comments and asks! As always, if you would like to be added to my tag list, just tell me and I’ll add you! Finally, like my imagines? Buy me a coffee (only $1 through Paypal and other currencies can be used) here: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/Kayela

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[sankyeom]

i spy with my little eye | l.jy

pairings: lee juyeon x reader (she/her/hers pronouns) genre: spy au, rivals to lovers warnings: some descriptions of fighting, injuries, explosives, and guns summary: in which the company you work for is the main rival of juyeon’s company, and you’re known for always being one step ahead of him; even when it comes to realising his feelings for you (based on this timestamp that i wrote before the stealer came out) word count: 8.3k series: sankyeom’s 2k followers celebration

masterlist

“I hope you understand how important it is that we get our hands on that file,” your boss, Mrs Kwon, explained to you after briefing you on your next mission. Your agency was the leading organisation in espionage, amassing over 30 countries. “The encryption on it is extremely advanced, so we’ll need it back undamaged so our cyber division can recover the files,” she finished, closing her tablet and glancing at you. “My understanding is that CKR have their best agents on the job as we speak.”

You nodded, “I’m familiar with them,” you told your boss, having come across the agents from CKR on several occasions, especially Juyeon. “They won’t be a problem.”

Your boss gave you a curt nod in agreement, handing her tablet off to her assistant. “You must know how important this is, Y/n. I cannot stress it enough. I chose you for this mission because you have proven yourself to be loyal and competent after the three years you’ve been here. I trust you to complete your mission well; this cannot fall into the wrong hands.”

“I understand,” you assured your boss. “I won’t give anybody the chance.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” Mrs Kwon nodded. “Now, the gala is starting in six hours. I suggest you stop by costume and weaponry before you go. We wouldn’t you to stand out or be unprepared.”

You paused for a moment, thinking it over. “Maybe that’s exactly what we want…” you trailed off as you exited your boss’s office and made your way to the costume department.

You had purposefully made contact with the head of governmental cyber security multiple weeks prior to the gala. Knowing that he had the key to hacking into governmental firewalls and protections meant that you couldn’t let it slip through your fingers that night.

Mr Kim had recognised you immediately, since your stunning red outfit couldn’t be missed. You had clearly made the right decision to wear it, because Mr Kim couldn’t keep his eyes off of you the whole evening.  

“Do you have eyes on the target?” Sangyeon’s voice rang through Juyeon’s earpiece. Juyeon had been undercover for the duration of the gala that evening, staying low-key in a formal but simple suit in order to blend in with the crowd. Sangyeon was surveilling from a getaway car parked nearby for a quick exit. Not only was Sangyeon the team leader, he was also their best and most efficient driver.

As subtly as possible, Juyeon placed a hand on his earpiece to reply to his team leader. “Affirmative. Exiting main ballroom through the North door,” Juyeon informed as he followed the short man who was speedily walking through the crowd; the man looked flustered and slightly tipsy, despite being the head of cyber security for the South Korean government.

“I trust you’ll secure the package and not let it slip like last time,” Juyeon could hear Kevin tease through his earpiece. He spotted Kevin sipping on champagne in the corner of the ballroom, raising his glass to him to further poke fun at Juyeon’s previous failures.

Juyeon rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry about it,” he retorted, placing his glass down on the nearest table and following the target out of the ballroom.

Before he could exit the room, somebody stood before him – dressed in a stunning red outfit that could capture attention from ten miles away – and blocked the doorway. You stood in before Juyeon, an eyebrow raised as ran your eyes down his body. Most of the time when you met him, you were both dressed in your all-black protective gear; it was a nice change to see your handsome rival in a black suit, hair styled to perfection.

“You clean up pretty good for someone who works for the second best agency in the world,” you taunted as you dragged your eyes up to meet Juyeon’s eyes.

Juyeon gulped.

He had always been attracted to you, and this had been his downfall.

The two of you worked for competing agencies and were always put on the same missions, being the best and most experienced agents at your agencies. However, nearly every time Juyeon came close to completing his mission, you already had it in the bag. You were clever, stunning, and always a step ahead of him. You also knew that Juyeon was fond of you, and you used it to your advantage whenever possible.

Juyeon couldn’t find it in him to hate you for it.

“I don’t have time for this,” Juyeon said, trying to sound as passive and bored as possible. By the smirk on your lips, he could tell you weren’t convinced, causing Juyeon to falter slightly. “I’m-“

You pulled a USB stick out of your pocket and dangled it in front of his face. Juyeon’s eyes narrowed, and he could hear Kevin and Sangyeon cursing in his earpiece. Dread filled him, overpowered only by the adrenaline he felt whenever he was in your presence.

You had beat him to it, again.

“-looking for this?” you finished his sentence, titling your head to the side to feign innocence. Then, you grinned, tucking it back into one of your pockets safely. “You should get to know your targets better,” you criticised with a smirk. “Maybe it’ll get you somewhere instead of trying to sneak up on them for the first time the night of a celebration.”

Juyeon narrowed his eyes at you, unsure of what to say. “That outfit draws too much attention, how did you manage to get it before I did?” he wondered instead.

You shrugged. “Sometimes you need the target’s attention,” you reminded him, leisurely stepping closer to Juyeon and leaning in so you lips were next to his ear. “Poor Mister Kim kept his eyes on me and made it easy to snatch this,” you patted your pocket. “Right from under his nose.”

“Abort,” Sangyeon told Juyeon through his earpiece. “Get out of there. We need to regroup for Plan B before we’re out of time.”

Seeing how worked up Juyeon was at your victory only made it more enjoyable for you. Before Juyeon could exit through the door, you bushed your lips against his cheek in an almost-kiss. “See you for round 2,” you told him with a wink, leaving Juyeon behind with his heart pounding erratically as you disappeared through the door.

“What the hell happened?” Sangyeon asked once Juyeon and Kevin were back in the car. “You told me you had eyes on him.”

“I did,” Juyeon snapped, trying his best to calm his temper. Realising how rude he sounded, he softened. “I’m sorry,” he apologised. “Y/n got to him before I even realised. She probably knew his routine by then, maybe even personally came into contact with-“

“I don’t want to hear about Y/n again,” Sangyeon interrupted, sighing. “What are you doing, Juyeon? You’re the best operative at the agency, yet the same person keeps intervening on all of your missions. It’s making you look incompetent, and our team look weak.”

“He’s doing his best,” Kevin piped up to defend Juyeon, who slumped in his seat. “I was in the room, and you had surveillance on Mr Kim the whole time. Y/n got past all of us, not just Juyeon. She’s just too good at her job.”

“You’re right,” Sangyeon allowed. “I’m sorry, Juyeon. I shouldn’t have blamed you like that.”

“It’s okay,” Juyeon mumbled. “I get it. You’re just looking out for the team.”

When they returned back to CKR headquarters, Sangyeon called for the whole team to gather so they could put Plan B into motion.

“We know where the USB is,” Sangyeon explained. “Y/n is too far from her headquarters to get there by tonight, she’ll have settled somewhere nearby and will be waiting to get transportation back tomorrow. We have to intercept them before that happens.” He decided.

“How are we supposed to do that?” Sunwoo, the intelligence analyst, wondered. He was one of the youngest members on the team, but was no less competent than the older members. “If Y/n has custody of the USB, we’re hardly going to be able to pry it out of her fingers.”

“No,” Sangyeon agrees. “She’s only going to hand it over to people that she trusts,” he added. “So, we need to become people that she trusts.”

“Pose as her team,” Jacob, one of the main intelligence operatives on the team, realised. “If she thinks that we are her transportation, she’ll have no problem handing over the USB.”

“Exactly,” Sangyeon agrees. “We need to have Chanhee run cryptography as soon possible. From what we understand, the information on the USB is timed. We only have 72 to decrypt and access it before it self-destructs and erases everything. And we need that information to be kept out of the wrong hands.”

“She’s not just going to get into any car and hand over the USB to somebody she doesn’t know,” Hyunjae pointed out from where he sat, spinning himself in circles on one of the wheeled office chairs. “I’m sure they have a system where she gets the licence plates so she knows she’s in the right car.”

“It’s a small window, but we can make it,” Sangyeon was sure. “After we know the message has been transmitted, we take down the driver and send in Juyeon to pose as her driver. She’ll recognise him as soon as she gets into the car, so we have to act fast.”

Juyeon was unsure. “I don’t know…” he trailed off, thinking. “It seems too simple,” he admitted. Juyeon had dealt with you enough to know that nothing got by you so easily.

“Simple is best sometimes,” Sangyeon retorted, crossing his arms. “If we think about this too much, or create an extravagant plan, I think Y/n’ll see it coming from a mile away.”

Juyeon nodded. “Alright, leader. I’ll trust you on this,” he decided, knowing that Sangyeon had been operating for far longer than Juyeon had.

The next night, after the sky had darkened, you packed up in your lavish suite at the hotel a few blocks down from where the event was held last night. You were staying down low so that you could get to headquarters as soon as possible. You knew that Mrs Kwon was right when she said that the information on that USB stick was incredibly important; it also had a timer on it and wouldn’t stay relevant for long. There were only around 48 hours left on the information.

After receiving a text from your usual driver saying he was a block away, you secured all of your belongings and tucked the USB into a hidden compartment of your black cargo pants. Tying your hair back, you made your way out of the room and left your key at the reception. They already knew who you were and took it wordlessly, allowing you to slip out the revolving door to wait for your car in the back alleyway.

As the familiar black SUV came rolling around the corner, you smiled and headed over to sit down in the back. “Good evening Phil,” you greeted, getting in and moving to buckle your seatbelt.

The familiar click of a gun made you freeze in place, hands on your seatbelt as you glanced up to see Juyeon sitting in the driver’s seat. “Oh, hi,” you greeted casually, as if your biggest competitor wasn’t just sitting in a car he had abducted. “Nice to see you in more casual clothes. Do you think you could step on it? I’m kind of on a time crunch, here,” you said.

Juyeon narrowed his eyes. “Stay right there,” he told you, trying not to fumble with his gun. He didn’t want to have to harm you in any way, so he hoped for his own sake that you’d be compliant.

You rolled your eyes. “How is it that I’m always one step ahead of you?” you wondered. Quick as a flash, you lifted your leg and kicked the gun out of Juyeon’s hand, taking his surprise as a chance to grab the gun for yourself and point it at him.

Juyeon cursed, freezing in place. He should have known that the threat of a gun wasn’t going to scare you; you were better trained in hand-to-hand combat anyway. “Get out of the car,” you told him in a slow voice, looking at him through narrowed eyes. Juyeon could see the hurt that lingered in them, and guilt filled his gut at the realisation that you somehow felt betrayed by him.

“Y/n,” Juyeon began, trying to convince you otherwise.

“Do as I say, Juyeon,” you replied, opening your car door and slowly following him out. You realised that the narrow alleyway behind the hotel you were staying in provided the perfect place for someone to hijack your car. “Now, what exactly do you think that you’re doing?” you wondered, motioning for Juyeon to step away from the car.

“Y/n, just listen,” Juyeon pleaded. “I know this looks bad, but I just-”

Before he could finish, a giant force threw the two of you into the air. The force of an explosive going off in your car.

Juyeon hit the ground hard, winded from the explosion and coughing as smoke and fire enveloped the black SUV. You had also been thrown to the ground, but your closer proximity to the car meant that you had suffered worse injuries than Juyeon. Both your side and wrist had hit the ground at bad angles during your fall, your head spinning as a result from the impact.

“What the hell?” you exclaimed, coughing on the ground. You had a ringing in your right ear, which had been facing the car when the blast went off, and were struggling to properly get up due to the injury your ribs had apprehended during the explosion.

Civilians had started running away from the surrounding area, terrified. “You just tried to kill me, you asshole!” you exclaimed, horrified at Juyeon’s approach of getting the USB stick from you. Explosives? Really? “What did I do ever do to you?”

“That wasn’t my explosive,” Juyeon snapped in response.

“You pointed a gun at me,” you retorted, coughing. “Why should I believe that you didn’t try to kill me?”

“We need you alive and you know it. Besides, why would I blow up a car that I was planning on driving?” he added, slowly getting to his knees and attempting to stand up.

You let out a shallow breath, realising what this meant for you.

Your boss, Mrs Kwon, had sent a car with a timed explosive in it.

To kill you.

Had Juyeon not hijacked the car, you and your usual driver Phil would have been dead on the way back to headquarters. Police sirens neared you, and you did your best to drag your feet up.

“We need to go,” you murmured, Juyeon trying to help you up as best as he could. “Now,” you added firmly, wincing as you used your non-injured hand to take Juyeon’s arm. Head spinning, you did your best to adjust to your surroundings.

“I know a place,” Juyeon suggested.

Unsure, you glanced up at him. “And why should I trust you?” you asked.

Juyeon paused, eyes softening at the sight of your injured and scratched body. He sighed, “You know why,” his eyes implying even more than his words did.

And you did know.

Ever since you and Juyeon started meeting during your assignments and missions, the attraction between the two of you was clear. Competing against one another had only added to the heightened emotions and energy between the two of you, and when Juyeon realised he had fallen for you, you were once again ahead of him.

You knew the second he was emotionally invested in his relationship with you. But someone as honest and expressive as Juyeon, almost to the point where he seemed innocent, couldn’t hide how he felt.You had never used his feelings for you against him, and you had never indicated that you felt the same either.

“Besides, what other choice do you have?” Juyeon added. “Mrs Kwon just tried to kill you,” he had also caught on. “I’m the best shot you’ve got at hiding out until it’s safe for you again.”

You weighed out your options. “Okay,” you gave in, mostly because you could barely walk on your own. And partially because your gut was telling you to trust Juyeon. “Where are we going?”

After a short argument about whether or not you would let Juyeon fireman carry you, you had won the fight and did your best to hide how badly your ribs were really injured, holding your tongue and diligently following Juyeon. You had sustained many injuries from missions in the past, and you were quite sure that your ribs were just badly bruised and not fractured.

Juyeon turned on the lights to his apartment, helping you over to his sofa. “This is my place,” he explained. It wasn’t too far from where the blast went off, and it was the only safe place Juyeon could think of letting the two of you hide out. He went into the kitchen and rifled through his drawers for his first-aid kit.

“I thought you were just going to take me to your headquarters,” you admitted. “Why didn’t you?”

Juyeon paused his search, spotting the first aid kit and pulling it out quietly. “I don’t know,” he replied, sighing. “You’re hurt and I can’t take you to the hospital because we’re spies and I’m not trying to let you bleed out or anything,” he added, kneeling in front of you and tending to your wounds. He had clearly looked after his own injuries before in the past, as you often had to do after missions, so you let him help you as the two of you sat in silence.

You had always known that Juyeon was handsome. The first time you met him, it was the first thing you noticed about him; his sharp features, small eyes and narrow nose. Something about the combination of his characteristics made him more stunning than you could comprehend.

“Stop staring at me,” Juyeon mumbled, sounding more shy than teasing under your stare. “It’s making me nervous.”

You rose an eyebrow. “I didn’t think spies got nervous,” you replied.

Juyeon paused his handiwork to meet your eyes, an eyebrow raised. “We don’t. I can disarm a bomb anytime. Get information out of the least willing witnesses. But you. You make me nervous,” he retorted. His words caused your breath to catch in your chest, eyes widening slightly at his candour.

You allowed Juyeon to finish tending to your wounds in silence, thinking better than to provoke him again. You weren’t sure what you would say if he responded to your questions like that again, so you decided to not say anything at all. When he finished, you thanked him quietly and let him wrap your torso to support the injury on your ribs. Silently, you watched him tend to his own, much milder, wounds.

“You’re very soft,” you observed as Juyeon quietly put his first-aid kit away and brought you some water. He was far more graceful than you had expected him to be. “The way you move and handle yourself. I know you’re stealthy because of your job, but your movements are very controlled and elegant.”

Juyeon took a seat next to you, handing you a glass of water. Despite everything the two of you had gone through, it felt very comfortable and natural to sit with him like that. “I used to be a dancer,” Juyeon said. You perked up at his confession. “When I was younger. It was all I wanted to do.”

“I can see you as a dancer,” you said, tilting your head slightly, as if imagining Juyeon standing on a large stage and performing. “You have that air of control about you; like you do a lot with your body,” Juyeon hummed. Feeling the need to level with him, you opened up more. “I used to want to be a magician.”

Juyeon burst out in laughter. “You’re kidding,” he accused in disbelief.

“I’m dead serious,” you swore. “I wanted to be a magician. Not a real wizard or someone with real powers, I just wanted to convince people that I could do magic,” you explained.

Juyeon perked up at your words. “A magician,” he murmured, as if trying to picture you with a top hat and a fake wand as a child. “I see that. You always have something up your sleeve whenever we’re on the same mission.” Juyeon recalled.

You smiled. “Sorry about that.”

Juyeon’s eyes shimmered with amusement. “No, you’re not.”

“No, I’m not,” you agreed reluctantly. “It’s one of the few talents I have. Other than elite espionage.”

Juyeon laughed. “God, you’re good at your job,” he sighed. “How is it that you beat me every single time we have the same mission?” he wondered, giving up on trying to pretend like he didn’t know you were the better spy. “Level with me on this. Every single time.”

“I’m good at reading people,” you shrug. “After a while, I got to know how you thought and how you problem solved. Then, it just became a matter of being a step ahead of you.”

“Which you always are,” Juyeon shook his head in disbelief. “Right when I’m about to act, you’ve already finished the job.”

“Like I said, magic tricks and espionage are my only talents,” you reminded him. “It just comes easily to me. Some people are great painters. I’m great at… physical combat? Logistics? Fooling people?”

“I think you’re an overachiever,” Juyeon mentioned it so casually that you actually laughed.

“Maybe so,” you mused, a grin playing on your lips. “Or I just really like winning.”

“Now that I can agree with,” Juyeon said, nodding to himself. “Everything between you and I is a competition, and you always win.”

“Not everything between us is a competition,” you whispered.

Juyeon smiled slightly, closed-lipped and slightly forced. “I wish that were true,” he replied.

You supposed he was right. In terms of your careers as spies, most of the times you met it was due to having the same mission. This meant that a large part of what made up your relationship was the competitive drive you felt whenever the two of you were together.

Perhaps that was why you tried so hard to deny the fact that you returned his feelings for you.

You sighed. “I wish that I never knew you were a spy,” you mumbled, hugging your legs and resting your head atop of your knees, your glass of water set on the coffee table. “I wish that you and I met at,” you thought about it. “A coffee shop. Or university. Or somewhere else, I don’t know.”

Juyeon nodded in agreement, following suit and mirroring the position you were in, resting his chin on his knees. “Me too,” he agreed. “I wish that I didn’t have to hide you here. Hide you from your horrible boss Mrs Kwon, and my team…” Juyeon groaned. “My team. Oh god, I have no idea what I’m going to tell them.”

“Right,” you recalled. “This was your mission. To get information from me,” you said, the thought making you pout subconsciously. “I’m a mission.”

“You’re not a mission,” Juyeon denied. “You were a part of my mission.”

“Two hours ago, you were pointing a gun at my head,” you reminded Juyeon, raising an eyebrow. “I’m a mission, Juyeon.”

“You’re not,” Juyeon insisted. “You’re… special to me. You’re not an object or an assignment. You’re a person.”

“This is so messed up,” you buried your face in your knees, willing everything to disappear around you. “Up until this morning, you were just the guy that I flirted with during missions.”

“That’s all I was to you?”

“No,” you admitted. “But that’s all our relationship was. Now, I’m on the run from my boss, who’s trying to kill me, and you’re hiding from your team, who assigned you to basically kidnap me for intel.”

“Why do you work for her?” Juyeon wondered. “She’s dangerous, and you’re doing missions for her.”

You shook your head. “You don’t get it,” you told him. “It’s not that simple.”

“Then simplify it.”

“Drop it, Juyeon.”

“Why?” he exclaimed. “You’re putting yourself in danger for somebody who wants you dead, and you don’t want to tell me why?”

“You’re right, I don’t want to tell you why.”

“Fine,” Juyeon huffed, purposely moving his body so he wasn’t facing you head on anymore. “I just saved your life and you still don’t trust me.”

“Do you trust me?” you retaliated.

Juyeon’s silence was enough to answer that one.

“Then we’re back to square one,” you rolled your eyes, moving your legs to stand up. “How-“ you cut yourself off with a cry of pain, having forgotten how badly you injured your ribs in the car blast.

You fell back against the sofa, Juyeon leaping to his feet to help you sit back down. “Are you okay?” he asked, voice rushed as his eyes flitted across your body, searching for any visible sign of pain.

Your eyes clenched closed as your severely bruised ribs throbbed, the sharp pain slowly fading now that you weren’t moving your upper body. When you opened your eyes again, you met Juyeon’s deep brown gaze. His expression had softened when he realised you were no longer in immense pain, and his close proximity made you glance down to his thin, pink lips.

“I’d really like to kiss you,” Juyeon whispered, his breath fanning against your cheeks as he spoke. “Is that okay?” you nodded, not finding the words to reply to him; drawing him in with your eyes.

He leant forward, bracing his hands on the sofa on either side of your body, lips meeting yours in a searing kiss. His lips were warm and soft, and his touch felt familiar despite it being your first kiss with him. You exhaled a sigh through your nose, relishing in how close Juyeon was when he normally felt so out of reach from you. Pulling him closer, you threaded your fingers gently through his hair, parting your lips to deepen the kiss.

This closeness, the fact that Juyeon was within your grasp, caused warmth to blossom in your chest and stomach. For as long as you could remember, your attraction to and feelings for Juyeon had always been pushed to the back of your mind; a fantasy you would never reach. And here you were, wrapped in his embrace.

Waking up in Juyeon’s bed was heaven.

Of course, your whole body felt sore from the impact of hitting the ground after the explosion, and you still couldn’t stand up properly without it hurting due to your ribs. But still, you felt satisfied.

“Hey,” Juyeon greeted, running his fingers through your hair, eyes bleary from sleep. “You okay?” You nodded, wordlessly tracing shapes onto his t-shirt covered chest, not wanting the moment to end. “Your wounds look like they’re closing,” he mused, searching your body. “I think a shower might be due.”

After setting you up with a towel and clothes to change into, you stripped your t-shirt off – having gotten rid of your cargo pants for comfort the night before – and made your way into the bathroom to shower.

Your reflection looked awful.

You had several cuts, bruises, and lacerations on your body from the impact, and you ribs were terribly swollen after you unwrapped it, blue bruises forming across it. Wincing, you hopped into the shower and scrubbed all of the dirt and dried blood from your skin. After using Juyeon’s shampoo and body wash, your chest felt warm and cozy as his scent filled your nose.

After lying in bed for a few extra minutes, Juyeon decided to clean up a little. He made his bed and picked up your clothes from where you had carelessly dropped them in his living room the night before. He paused, feeling the cold touch of a small metallic object in one of the inner pockets.

The USB.

Juyeon hesitated, not sure what to do with it.

A part of him wanted desperately to pocket the small device, a deep desire within him begging him to finish his mission and do the right thing. He knew that the USB falling into the wrong hands would be detrimental to the safety and wellbeing of many government officials and innocent citizens.

Another part of him wanted to tuck it back into the pocket he found it in. The information on the USB could only be encrypted for a short period of time. If Juyeon did nothing, then the information would disappear in 30 hours. He would preserve the progress he made with you the night before and  could make other plans to protect you from Mrs Kwon.

Juyeon didn’t realise how long he held the USB in his palm. Your footsteps snapped him out of his daydream.

“You found it,” you said, too shocked to continue towel-drying your hair. You had gotten changed into one of Juyeon’s long sleeved t-shirts, sweatpants, and socks after your shower. Had it not been for the situation at hand, Juyeon might have told you how stunning you looked in his clothes. “What are you gonna do with it?” you asked him, biting your bottom lip.

Juyeon glanced up, stepping towards you. “Nothing,” he replied, pressing the USB into your hands. He closed your fingers over it, covering your closed fist with his own hand. “I don’t need to do anything about it.”

The moment was ruined as the front door to Juyeon’s apartment was kicked down, several agents and elite spies from Mrs Kwon’s organisation making their way into the living room, guns pointed at the two of you. “Minho,” you said calmly, recognising your team leader.

Minho’s eyes had hardened as he observed the position you and Juyeon were in. “What were you thinking?” Minho asked, his voice unnervingly calm. “Why would you come here with him instead of going back to headquarters? You had a mission, Y/n.”

“She was hurt,” Juyeon defended your actions. “Her car exploded just metres away from her. I wasn’t just going to bring her back to your headquarters after your boss tried to blow her up.”

Minho watched the way you quickly pulled your hand out from under Juyeon’s, raising both of your hands in the air. Juyeon followed your actions, curious about why you were surrendering so easily.

“This is interesting,” Minho mused. “Is this why you keep failing your missions?” he asked Juyeon, tilting his head and mocking him with his words.

“What are you talking about?” Juyeon asked, narrowing his eyes.

“You’re purposefully failing so that Y/n can succeed?” Minho said it in a teasing tone, as if he was revealing Juyeon’s crush during recess in the playground.

“No,” Juyeon denied. “That’s not true and you know it.”

“She can’t be that good of a spy,” Minho retorted. “She’s beat you out on seventy eight missions over four years.” You remained silent, unsure of what to say with so many guns pointed in your direction. “How long have you been together for?”

“Stop it,” you interrupted. “Are you going to fight me, Minho?” you asked.

Minho had been your team leader for almost three years. You had each other’s backs, and the fact that he and the rest of the spies from your organisation were pointing guns at you didn’t sit so well with you.

“I might,” Minho admitted. “If you don’t hand over the USB.”

“I can’t do that,” you said. “Mrs Kwon tried to kill me for this, I’m afraid I won’t just let go of it so easily,” you admitted.

“Please,” Minho rolled his eyes. “That car blew up after your little boyfriend stole it from Phil. He clearly planted it. Why would Mrs Kwon put an explosive in your car? You’re her best agent, and she wants those files,” he recalled. “Forgive me if I just don’t buy it, Y/n.”

“Okay,” you shrugged. “I forgive you.”

You turned, nodding at Juyeon and balanced your weight across your feet before you leapt at Minho, swinging your arm in a punch. Juyeon followed suit, turning to kick the guns out of your colleague’s hands and ducking under their jabs. You took on Minho alone, since he was the team leader and the most experienced spy on the team other than yourself.

Usually when you fought with Minho, it was sparring during training; honing in your skills and building each other up. Now, you were fighting to get away from somebody you used to consider close to a friend. “You sold out,” you accused Minho, kicking his gun away from where he had dropped it during your fight.

“So what if I did?” Minho replied, raising an eyebrow. “You think you’re always a step ahead of everyone, but this time, I was,” he added, striking you in your torso. You yelped, falling to the ground as the pain in your already injured ribs intensified. “Any more tricks up your sleeve? Or just a fractured rib?”

“Asshole,” you exclaimed, biting your tongue to suppress more shouts of pain. You struggled to fend off Minho’s advances. He was larger, stronger, and in better condition than you were. Even when the two of you sparred during training, you could only ever win against Minho if you outsmarted him somehow.

Getting to your feet, you tucked your hair behind your ears and squared your shoulders. Minho approached you, diving with his hands stretched towards your torso; by that point, he had realised that you were injured and had a weak spot. You blocked it easily, using the momentum of Minho’s slight stumble to aim your fist at his jaw. Minho exclaimed in pain, falling to the ground and holding his jaw.

You risked a moment to look at Juyeon, who was easily taking on two men at once. The swift and calculated manner Juyeon moved in reminded you of how he said he wanted to be a dancer when he was younger. This, you could easily believe after seeing him in action.

You struck Minho further while he was disoriented from your hit to his jaw, not letting the gruelling pain in your ribs stop you from doing your best to defend yourself. Minho pushed you against the wall, both of your actions getting sloppier from the injuries you were both sustaining.

“Enough,” you exclaimed, taking the USB from where you stashed it in your pocket and holding it out of the open window. Juyeon and Minho audibly cursed, everyone stilling at your bold choice. “One more step, and I drop it,” you warned, the sound of the traffic outside reminding everyone that a car would immediately drive over the USB if you dropped it.

“Y/n,” Juyeon said slowly. “Are you sure you want to do that?”

“Listen to your boyfriend,” Minho agreed. “Don’t do anything you’ll regret.”

“Regret?” you echoed. “I almost got blown up because I had this. You think I’ll miss this thing when it’s gone? The only person who loses out would be you,” you told Minho. “This is your recovery mission.”

“Juyeon!” a shout came from the hallway leading up to his apartment. You turned, seeing Sangyeon, Kevin, Jacob, and Haknyeon rush into Juyeon’s apartment. They seemed to have realised where Juyeon was soon after Mrs Kwon’s team had, and were shocked at the scene in front of them. “Are you hurt?” Sangyeon asked, causing Juyeon to shake his head.

“The rest of your boyfriend’s team is here,” Minho drawled. “So, what’s it going to be, Y/n? Are you going to hand it over to me, or him?”

“Why do I need to hand it over to anyone?” you retorted. You had kicked Minho’s weapons out of his reach, and now that Sangyeon and his team were there, Minho was outnumbered. He wasn’t likely to try anything stupid. “What are you going to do? You can’t win this one, Minho.”

Juyeon watched with bated breath as you opened your palm, dropping the USB from the twenty-fourth floor of his apartment building. Sangyeon and Minho gave angry shouts at your action and you stepped away from the window, opening both of your hands to show your empty palms.

Minho moved forward, his fist colliding with the side of your face. You fell to the floor, Juyeon yelling as he ran towards Minho. Sangyeon held him back, stopping him from doing anything he might regret. “I’ll deal with you later,” Sangyeon told him. Juyeon startled; Sangyeon had never looked at Juyeon with so much disappointment before.

Your chest heaved with deep inhales as you tried to catch your breath, propping yourself up using the wall behind you. “And what about you?” you asked Minho, raising an eyebrow; challenging him. “Are you really going to go to Mrs Kwon empty-handed? The USB is gone. About ten cars have crushed it into the road by now. She’s not going to want me, dead or alive. She’s going to want the team leader that let her precious files slip through his fingers.”

Knowing you were right, and seeing how Sangyeon and his team had outnumbered him, Minho glared at you before fleeing from the scene, most likely going to hide from Mrs Kwon and her resources. Sangyeon didn’t stop him; Minho was of no interest to him now that he didn’t have the USB, and he was from a different organisation. Elite spies aren’t a part of law enforcement; he wasn’t going to chase after Minho like a police officer would.

“You don’t know what you’ve just done,” Sangyeon accused you, seething with anger. “You’re protecting Mrs Kwon under the facade that you don’t care what happens to the information on that USB.”

“I can’t believe you did that,” Juyeon added quietly. “You were almost killed for that, twice. Don’t you think we could have used what’s on there?”

You nodded. “I suppose you’re right. It’s a good thing I always have,” you pulled the USB out from under the sleeve of Juyeon’s long-sleeved t-shirt that you were wearing, an ode to the many magic tricks you learned as a kid when you dreamed of being a magician. “A trick up my sleeve.”

“We can trust Y/n,” Juyeon insisted, rushing after Sangyeon and Kevin as they led you out of his apartment complex to their SUV. “She hasn’t done anything wrong. Mrs Kwon tried to kill her!”

“Except she has done things wrong,” Sangyeon retorted. “Y/n’s boss is corrupt, Juyeon,” he informed. “Mrs Kwon has been giving government and civilian security details to the highest bidder. That’s the reason her company is the best in the world. They sell private information for profit, and hundreds of people have died for it.”

Juyeon felt his heart drop to his stomach at Sangyeon’s confession. “That’s her boss, not her,” he tried to defend you as best as he could. “It’s a job, Sangyeon.”

“Elite espionage doesn’t exist for the rich to play games with innocent people for money,” Sangyeon snapped. “Our organisations exist so that we can protect people and put away bad guys.”

“I agree,” you voiced, causing Sangyeon’s eyes to meet yours as you neared the car. Despite his harsh gaze, you weren’t intimidated by him. You had nothing to hide or be ashamed of. “Believe me, that’s why I took this job.”

Sangyeon studied your expression, trying to find a hint that you were lying or deceiving him. Then, he held his hand out to you. “I’ll take that USB,” he said. You gave it to him, seeing no point in trying to keep it from him at that point. Minho and the other spies from Mrs Kwon’s agency were long gone, and Sangyeon and his team wouldn’t be able to crack the code without you anyway. “Get in,” Sangyeon told Juyeon. “We’re going to headquarters.”

If Sangyeon wanted to take you to CKR, you had no reason to fight him.

“What’s the status?” Sangyeon asked Chanhee, who had been working on decrypting the files on the USB for over an hour.

You and Juyeon had been driven to CKR headquarters in seperate cars. Kevin did his best to be kind to you, but you remained silent and allowed him to lead you to a simple room with a one-way mirror in it.

Juyeon had debriefed the team on exactly what had happened when he tried to bring you to headquarters the night before. Sangyeon remained unimpressed that Juyeon hadn’t immediately brought you to them, and scolded him for taking away an extra 15 hours of time they could have used to decrypt the files and question your organisation’s best spy.

“There’s over 200 digits in the password,” Chanhee explained, still typing out potential passwords onto the laptop in a blank document. “There’s only three chances before the files self-destruct. I already used one of our chances, and I don’t want to try again until I get a better idea of what it could be,” he said, lush lips stuck in a concentrated pout. “It would help if I knew anything about Mr Kim, but he seems to be a pretty elusive man. Does’t have much of an online presence, which makes sense since he’s in charge of cybersecurity.”

Sangyeon sighed, rubbing his forehead as if he had a headache was coming on. “If Mrs Kwon was willing to kill Y/n to keep this information out of her hands, we need to get to it,” he said.

“What’s on it?” Eric wondered from his place on the sofa, playing a game on his phone.

“I don’t know,” Sangyeon shook his head at the youngest. “Boss won’t say.”

“Maybe we should ask Y/n,” Kevin suggested. “If Mrs Kwon wanted to keep it out of her hands specifically, maybe she thought that Y/n could crack the code?”

Sangyeon had already thought of this option, but he didn’t want to have to bring you in. “She works for that awful lady,” he reminded his team. “I don’t trust her.”

Juyeon frowned. “What’s she ever done to make you distrust her?” he wondered. “Other than the fact that she works for an organisation that we think is corrupt? Most of the missions she was on were ones that you sent me on, too. That means that she’s been doing a lot of good during her career in espionage,” he pointed out.

“Bring her in,” Sangyeon decided, sending both Jacob and Kevin in to collect you. You soon appeared, wincing as you limped your way over to the team leader. Your bruised ribs had probably become fractured from your fight with Minho, and any other contusions you had sustained from the fight were starting to bruise a deep purple. Juyeon wanted nothing more than to rush over to you, but he figured this would be the wrong move.

“Can you solve this?” Sangyeon asked you, pointing at the screen.

You shrugged. “I can’t be sure,” you admitted. “But I have a pretty good hunch.”

“Which is?”

“I got to know Mr Kim personally before the event two nights ago,” you explained. “Before he started his career in cybersecurity, he was a chemistry major at Yonsei University for his undergraduate degree. He used to go on and on about how he had to memorise all these different formulas and numbers to pass his exams,” you recalled. “But there was one thing he was particularly proud of, something that none of his classmates could do.”

“Don’t tell me it’s the first 300 digits of Pi,” Chanhee said, frowning. “Because that would be so boring. I could do that when I was eleven.”

You shook your head. “He can recite the atomic numbers of every element on the periodic table,” you told the cryptologist. “In order.”

“Pull up a picture of the periodic table,” Sangyeon ordered to Sunwoo, who quickly complied and pulled it up to the large screen in the centre of the room. “Chanhee?”

“On it,” he mumbled, already typing in the numbers in order. When he was done, he stared at the screen in surprise. “The number of digits perfectly fits,” Chanhee told his team leader. “Do you want me to enter it?”

Sangyeon glanced over at you. “I don’t suppose you made up an elaborate lie that just so happened to work in your favour?”

You shrugged. “Wouldn’t be the first time I had that kind of a trick up my sleeve,” you admitted. “But no. I’m not lying.”

Sangyeon’s brows furrowed together. “Alright,” he agreed. “If Juyeon trusts you, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt this once. And we always have one more try, then I’ll know for sure if you were lying.”

Sangyeon gave Chanhee the okay to give in the password. Chanhee tapped on the enter key, a grin forming on his lips as he started typing frantically. “I’m in,” he said, causing cheers to burst out around the room.

The boss of the CKR spy agency entered the room, pleased to see the success that Sangyeon’s team had during their mission. “That sounds like good news,” he said, causing all the members of the team to bow in greeting of their boss.

“Yes, sir,” Sangyeon confirmed. “We just got into through the encryption with 28 hours to spare.”

“That’s wonderful work,” their boss complimented, smiling at them all.

“Y/n provided important details about Mr Kim’s life that helped us,” Sangyeon added, surprising you. “Without her help, we wouldn’t have been able to figure it out.”

“Excellent work, Y/n,” the CKR boss complimented, reaching over to shake your hand.

You beamed. “Happy to help, sir,” you told him cheerily. “After all, it is my job,” you reminded him with a wink.

The room went silent as Sangyeon’s team stared at you in shock. “I knew I made the right choice trusting you,” the CKR boss told you, looking proud. “There aren’t many people that can outsmart Juyeon on his missions, as well as work undercover long enough to deeply infiltrate Mrs Kwon’s organisation.”

“Did you just say work undercover?” Juyeon wondered, voicing everyone’s thoughts.

“Yes,” his boss admitted. “I hired Y/n five years ago to infiltrate Mrs Kwon’s organisation and expose her corruption. That’s why these files are so important,” he explained.

“Oh my god,” Chanhee muttered, flicking through the files on the USB. “This traces Mrs Kwon’s online presence, dating back over three years. It’s incriminating information against Mrs Kwon’s organisation; she can be sent to jail for the evidence on here.”

“That’s why she tried to kill you,” Juyeon realised, addressing his words to you. “Because Mr Kim uncovered her online footprints.”

“I told you it wasn’t so simple,” you reminded him, giving him your best smile. Juyeon beamed. He often wondered if he was naïve for trusting you, but you had proved to him that you were worth the risk. A double agent. Somehow, Juyeon felt incredibly proud of you.

“Thank you for your hard work, Y/n,” CKR’s boss thanked you. “And now that we have what we need on Mrs Kwon, I’d love for you to continue working here for my most elite team,” he invited you.

“That’s us!” Eric exclaimed happily, now solving a Rubik’s cube upside down.

“As long as they’ll have me, I’d love to,” you told your boss.

Everyone glanced over at Sangyeon, who had the final say on any new members as the team leader. After seeing your skillset that day, everyone on the team was excited to work with you. You had something to offer in almost any area they specialised in. Plus, you were a fairly famous spy amongst the different agency; known as the best of the best. Sangyeon seemed to be struggling to comprehend the situation, having gone through a pretty confusing day.

“So you’re been working for CKR all this time?” he asked. You nodded. “And you’ve been gathering information on Mrs Kwon to use against her with Mr Kim from cybersecurity?” Another nod. “And you really did outsmart Juyeon on all of his missions?”

“I’m afraid so,” you confirmed.

Sangyeon seemed stunned. “Then I think you’d make a good addition to the team,” he agreed. Kevin and Eric cheered, excited that someone as well-known in the spy community as you would be a part of their team. You were infamous around CKR for always outsmarting their best team, and it turns out that you were CKR’s best asset all along. Your boss said his farewells, allowing you to get to know your new team better.

“I can’t believe all of this,” Juyeon breathed out in surprise, helping you onto one of the sofas in the back of the room, careful of your injured ribs. “You’re…”

“A double agent?” you filled in for him.

“…Even more amazing than I thought,” Juyeon finished his train of thought. You grinned, letting Juyeon press a kiss to your cheek and hug you. “And always a step ahead of me, it seems,” he kissed you gently.

“That’s going to take some getting used to,” Younghoon mumbled, wincing at the sight of you and Juyeon kissing.

“My little magician,” Juyeon sighed happily against your lips, pulling away to beam at you. His eyes, tired and worn out from the last two days, glimmered with excitement. “This is so much better than competing against you.”

You laughed, wrapping your arms around his shoulder and hugging him tightly, wincing slightly at the impact on your ribs. “Who says we’re going to stop competing?”

note: here is the long anticipated full version of my spy!juyeon timestamp!! i hope you guys enjoyed it! it wasn’t super romantic like the other ones but i hope i capture the spy juyeon concept i was going for well :)

[mae-gi-writes]

- kpop masterlist.

🔥- suggestive/nsfw   ☔- angst   ☁️ - fluff   💘- personal favourites .｡.

☆.｡.:*ENHYPEN ☆.｡.:*

SUNGHOON

➵  MISTLETOE: Your friends play a little Christmas prank on you and Sunghoon.

➵ROYAL ENTANGLEMENTS: in the face of an upcoming war, your brother has no other choice but to appoint you a bodyguard for your safety. What happens when feelings blossom between you and this said soldier? 

JAY 

➵  BY CHANCE: You surprise your LDR boyfriend after months apart. But when things go amiss the handsome stranger on the train ride helps you out.

➵  DISTRACTED: Jay has to go to work. Except, he keeps getting distracted by you ( bestfriends to lovers au) 

☆.｡.:*BTS ☆.｡.:*

JUNGKOOK

➵ IT’S (JUST SO) AWKWARD: You and Jungkook are too different to be together. He’s all black and white. You’re full of colour. And yet. ☁️💘☔ PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR

➵Tattoos (fluff, tattoo artist au)

➵ Petrichor (fluff

JIMIN

➵ Massage after a long day

➵Parallel Lines (scifi, fantasy, angst)

➵Quiet Mornings (fluff)

JUNG HOSEOK

➵ All About Timing (Fluff)

➵ Your Way Back Home (angst/fluff)

SUGA

➵ THE KING’S ORDERS (royal kingdom au, fluff)

➵ OF SMOKE RINGS AND CIGARETTES (completed): Yoongi was a merciless killer working for one of the mafia gangs in town. Danah was a waitress that had to support her two younger siblings. When she accidentally witnesses one of Yoongi’s murders, he makes sure to blackmail her into silence. What he hadn’t considered was, in fact, the strangest possibility that this particular girl could make him see the world differently. ONE | TWO | THREE | FOUR | FIVE | SIX (FINAL)

TAEHYUNG

➵ Kiss Me Slowly (fluff)

☆.｡.:*THE BOYZ☆.｡.:*

➵ DEOBI PLAYLIST:  The Boyz x Hospital Playlist inspired drabble series. 💘☁️ EP 1 | EP 2 | EP 3 | EP 4 | EP 5 | EP 6 | EP 7 | EP 8 | EP 9 | EP 10 | EP 11 | EP 12 | EP 13 

➵ WAYS TO LOVE Sangyeon | Jacob | Younghoon | Hyunjae | Juyeon  | Kevin | Changmin | Chanhee | Haknyeon |Sunwoo | Eric 

➵ JOIE DE NOEL SERIES Sangyeon | Jacob | Younghoon | Hyunjae | Juyeon | Kevin | Changmin | Chanhee | Haknyeon | Sunwoo | Eric

KEVIN

➵ MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE series (inspired by Kevin Moon) Once they loved. They dated. They broke up. But funnily enough, fate seems to follow Kevin and Jaeha even after 7 long years, when they come face to face right in front of a Divorce Lawyer's Office

➵ MOONLIGHT SONATA: A girl forms an unlikely bond with her neighbour; a young violinist who seems to understand her sad songs.☔ Part One | Part Two

➵ WHEN KEVIN DISTRACTS YOU ☁️ ➵ IT’S OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY ☁️☔

➵ BEHIND THE CROWN: Prince Kevin Moon is to be married to the princess of the neighbouring city. So why is his heart veering towards his second-in-command at the last minute? ☁️💘 Part One | Part Two ➵ SOMEBODY LOVES YOU: Kevin spends so much time pining after his ex-girlfriend that he doesn’t see the love you hold for him. Until it’s too late. ☔ ➵LET IT BE ME (soulmate au, badboy au, fluff, angst) ☔ Part One ➵ PLUS ONE (around the world collab): Your boyfriend breaks up with you right before you’re supposed to attend your cousin’s wedding and on impulse, Kevin decides to replace him as your Plus One. (9k) 💘☁️ ➵ KEVIN AND CUDDLES☁️ ➵ WHERE THE SEA BIRDS SLEEP☁️ ➵ JEALOUS☁️🔥💘

➵ FROM NOW ON☔☁️ ➵ IF YOU’LL HAVE ME: You’re Kevin’s mate. But you also happen to be his best friend (werewolf au) ☁️🔥 PART ONE | PART TWO 

Timestamps ➵ [15:23 p.m} ➵ [18:34 p.m]

Q / CHANGMIN

➵ WEAK SPOT: Changmin’s feelings suddenly come to light when enemies threaten to take over your Royal Kingdom. ☁️

➵ AND YOU SHOULD LIVE  Part One | Part Two 

➵  TWILIGHT (fluff, soft bf Changmin) ☁️

➵ CAN’T HELP IT (fluff drabble, friends to lovers au) ☁️

➵  Timestamps [11:45 a.m]

SUNWOO

➵  CATCHING FIRE (Royal Kingdom AU)

➵   BURNING FLAME (Catching Fire Pt. 2) (royal kingdom au)

➵  INSECURE (supportive bf! Sunwoo)

➵ TAKE ME BACK (angst, enemies to lovers)

➵ SOONER (noona au, ceo sunwoo)

➵ YUGEN (fluff, artist! reader, volleyball player Sunwoo!)

➵ THE GIRL I HAVEN’T MET (angst)

➵ Timestamps [04:05 a.m]

HYUNJAE

➵  IN THE RAIN (angst, fluff)

➵ LOVE LETTER (royal au)

➵ ONLY FOR YOU (insecure reader! fluff)

➵ SORE LOSER (fluff, gamer au)

➵ SAFE WITH ME (angst, protective bf!)

➵ ALL THE CUDDLES   Part One | Part Two (fluff, sick reader!)

➵ WHEN YOU GET JEALOUS (fluff, jealous! reader)

➵ TINGLES  (fluff, asmr)

➵ THRILL RIDE  (fluff, summer au)

➵ DRIVER’S LICENSE (fluff) 

➵ SWEET LIKE NECTAR ☁️☔ : In which you and Hyunjae only have 24 hours to enjoy life before it's time to grow up and go your separate ways.  part one | part two 

➵ Timestamps:       [10:13 p.m.}

JACOB

➵ COMING HOME  (airport au, long distance relationship drabble

➵ HALLOWEEN ESCAPADE (director Jacob, fluff)

➵ Timestamps [11:54.p.m.]

JUYEON

➵  DOCTOR’S TOUCH  (Part One) | (Part Two)

➵ THE FINE LINE (royal au! fluff) 

 ➵CALLING ...( LDR relationship, angst)

HAKNYEON

➵ FOR NOW (angst)

SANGYEON

➵ BETROTHED (royal au, arranged marriage, fluff)

➵ MATCH POINT (friends to lovers au)

➵ Timestamps [17:47p.m.] 

ERIC

➵  LAST MINUTE LOVE  (airport au, friends to lovers)

➵ [8:44.a.m.] 

.｡. ☆.｡.:*STRAY KIDS ☆.｡.:*

BANG CHAN

➵ BRUISED BUT NOT DEAD (sci-fi) ☁️☔

➵ [07:19.a.m.]

➵ GROWN UPS ☁️☔

➵ A TURN OF PRIORITIES ☁️☔🔥 What happens when you and Bang Chan decide to fake a relationship for the sake of making your ex-boyfriend jealous? A turn of priorities, that's what. PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE

➵ NOT THE FIRST, BUT THE LAST ☁️☔  you ask Chan why he’s with you. 

SEO CHANGBIN

➵ MY HEART BEATS (hanahaki au) )☁️☔

.｡.

☆.｡.:*ATEEZ ☆.｡.:*

MINGI 

➵ Awkwardly In Love (fluff)

➵ Purpose of Hearts (part of timecaspule collab, angst, fluff, slice of life)

HONGJOONG

➵ You Don’t Have to be A Star (angst/slight fluff)

.｡.

☆.｡.:*EXO ☆.｡.:*

Baekhyun: 

➵ WRONG NUMBER In which Hwang Jinae insistently leaves voice messages to her boyfriend every night since he’s gone to Veterinary College, only to discover that she has been confessing all her struggles and hardships to the wrong number. More specifically; to his roommate Byun Baekhyun. 

ONE | TWO | THREE | FOUR | FIVE

.｡.

☆.｡.:*SEVENTEEN ☆.｡.:*

HOSHI

➵ THE BOY WHO WALKED ON SUNSHINE ☔

WONWOO

➵ DIAL 199 ☔ In which you think you’re past saving, but the person on the other end of the line manages to pull you out of your dark waters. 

VERNON

➵ OUTSIDE BOUNDARIES🔥☁️ what happens when ball of sunshine meets Mr. Grumpy? When you make the sacrificial decision of shadowing Dr. Hanson Chwe to scramble for your TA hours, nothing could’ve prepared you for the way in which this grumpy ass charms his way into your heart. PART ONE | PART TWO 

MINGYU 

➵ EVERYTHING THAT I’LL NEVER BE ☔☁️ You'll never be his first and that bothers you, that she had his heart before you ever did. 

.｡.

[thefandomlesbian]

Idk if you do headcanons but could you write some soft Jemily headcanons? Love you!

Sure thing! 

-At first, JJ doesn’t want to like Emily. She’s upset because Elle (who, let’s face it, was her gf) left without warning and without saying goodbye, and now the politicians upstairs have pulled strings to stick this random woman in their team who no one knows without even consulting Hotch. She doesn’t want to like her. She doesn’t want to replace Elle. 

-Of course, what she wants doesn’t go very far. Her initial distaste is bolstered because she thinks Emily is rather arrogant on their first case together, what with her polylinguism, but afterward, Spencer tells her how much Emily helped with the case and how cracking the terrorist’s code saved thousands of lives. Spencer likes Emily, and he’s JJ’s friend, so JJ is obligated to give her a chance. 

-Emily takes that chance and makes good on it. After the dog attack, Emily washes the blood off of her face and hands and sits with her. Emily doesn’t ask her any questions about Spencer, and she holds her while she cries. JJ dreams of how Emily smells for months afterward. 

-Emily knows she likes JJ for a long time before JJ knows she likes Emily. Emily has an immense distaste for Will. She senses Hotch does the same and confides in him, which he somewhat resists because he loathes the girl drama but Emily knows if she tells him, it won’t go any further. He won’t gossip. 

-It takes Emily a long time to confront JJ with her feelings.

-It happens after yet another argument with Will. They seem to be happening a lot these days, around Henry’s first birthday. Will isn’t happy with giving up everything in his bloodline for this family when it seems JJ isn’t willing to sacrifice anything. He’s angry that he left the position his father intended for him and that he’s more or less been reduced to a stay-at-home parent, and he feels JJ is never there when they need her. 

-JJ shows up at Emily’s apartment after walking out to cool her head. “I don’t think anyone will ever love me like he does,” she says, “but neither of us are happy and it’s not fair to us and it’s not fair to Henry,” and Emily gently tells her that someone will, maybe someone already does, and she’s right, it isn’t fair for her to stay trapped in an unhappy relationship.

-”What do you mean by that? Someone already does?” 

-This is when Emily confesses to her. She doesn’t expect anything in return, of course--she only means it as a reassurance, that someone will love JJ, that JJ is loveable. 

-But they consummate that night and JJ breaks up with Will. 

-He’s initially fucking pissed but he realizes sooner rather than later that he’s happier this way. He wants to return to Louisiana, but he wants to take Henry with him, causing a volatile custody dispute.

-Hotch has already been looped in by Emily and volunteers to represent them pro bono. With his help, they settle a fair custody agreement where JJ has primary custody. He also helps settle the splitting of their shared property and establishes child support payments. 

-For a long time, Emily keeps her apartment in spite of the invitation to come live with JJ and Henry. It isn’t that she doesn’t want to, but rather that she likes having her own space, and she just feels like, maybe, something isn’t quite right in the world yet, like maybe they’re safer apart from her.

-This feeling comes to a head when she realizes Doyle is back. She tries to break up with JJ and makes up a lie about how she can’t deal with JJ’s CIA placement, but JJ knows there’s something more going on, and when it finally comes out, it all makes sense. 

-JJ is furious with the decision Hotch makes to protect Emily. Emily is comatose, but JJ tries to make her case--that tearing her away from her family, that lying to them about her death isn’t going to do any good. Hotch argues that it’s the only way to keep her safe. “You know she’d rather die than go through this alone.”

-He looks at her. “It’s the only way to keep them safe. And I know that’s what she would want.” 

-JJ can’t argue with that. Emily will always prioritize the team’s safety over her own. But it is a long few weeks of recovery during which they keep wrestling over the electronics because drug-addled Emily thinks she can call everyone and tell them she’s okay and it won’t fuck them up to hear her voice after they’ve just buried her. 

-JJ cries. A lot. She cries all the time. She cries every time Spencer cries. She gets Emily to send her voice messages from Paris and tells Spencer that they’re old ones just so he can hear her voice again. But then Garcia finds out, and JJ knows she’ll be able to track the timestamps on the messages, so she destroys her phone and says it was an accident and all of the data was lost. 

-They can’t call too often (when they do, Hotch gets mad). So JJ sends Emily messages through the online scrabble board where they play. 

-JJ starts BAU online scrabble. She adds Emily to the game, codename Blackbird--to match CheetoBreath, MuscleFlex007, S.Reid, KittyKittyMeowMeow, CohibaBehike, and SRDDFKBJKL (Jack was helping Hotch on the computer). JJ tells everyone Blackbird is her younger cousin who’s interested in joining the BAU, and they all accept it, and Garcia adds Kevin, too, to make the numbers even. This starts a trend of them all playing online group games together. 

-They often ask when they can meet Blackbird or if Blackbird has applied to join the academy yet. JJ always dodges their questions. 

-After Emily comes back, she asks for a game of Scrabble, and that’s when they realize she was Blackbird all along. 

-This time, she does move in the JJ and Henry. She takes Sergio with her. She asks JJ to marry her, but JJ says to wait--not so soon, not after everything, she needs more time. And Emily respects this, because up until this point, Emily was always the one asking for more time. 

-And after the attack on the bank, JJ is ready. They get married in front of everyone. Dave Rossi walks Emily down the aisle with tears in his eyes at her request. 

[copperbadge]

Taking this photo is the last thing I remember doing on January 5th, around 7:30pm. [Description: A picture of Polk on the Most Coveted Blanket, with one leg stretched out in front of her.]

Wanna hear about my concussion? Have a peep under the cut!

The morning of Monday, January 6th, I didn’t feel well when I woke up; when I actually got out of bed I realized I was dizzy, nauseated, and in pain, and my glasses weren’t on the bedside table where I always put them. When I looked in the mirror I had a black eye and cuts on the left side of my head, and I realized I didn’t remember how I’d gotten them, or when I’d put on my pyjamas and gone to bed the night before. I found my glasses on the living room floor next to the cat toy bin. 

One of the only good decisions I made the entire week was to get dressed and go to the walk-in clinic across the street and get seen for a neurological exam. 

One trip to the ER and several scans later, we determined that I had a concussion but wasn’t going to die from it. I had a lot of time to sit and stare at the walls while I was waiting for doctors to come and look at me, and out of sheer boredom I actually managed to reconstruct the rest of my previous night. Check this shit out, from my FitBit monitor: 

[Description: a line chart with a squiggly up-and-down line that peaks occasionally above 90 but mostly falls well below it.]

That’s a chart of my pulse over the course of the 5th of January. See where it says “fat burn”? My doctors and I are pretty sure that spike in my pulse is an adrenaline rush where I tripped and fell in my living room and bashed my head on something. Possibly the floor, more likely the ottoman of the chair where I found my glasses the following morning. FitBit’s timestamping is a little iffy but it was around 8:20pm when that spike hit. (I had thought it was 8 and I’ve told several people it was 8 but my notes from that day and the FitBit both say 8:20.)

And then I got up and went to bed where I fell asleep around 8:45, at least according to the FitBit: 

[Description: a FitBit sleep chart, showing sleep from 8:47pm to 3:27am, with various periods of deep, light, and REM sleep, and faint moments of wakefulness.]

Waking up at 3:30am is actually not unusual for me; in this case I eventually went back to sleep but FitBit recorded that as a second sleep event for about an hour, from roughly 6-7am. 

Here’s a fun fact: I know I sent this email to my boss and colleagues on January 6th, and for all of January 6th I clearly remembered sending this email, because I talked about it on the 6th. I remember talking about sending it. 

But I don’t remember sending it. 

[Description: an email sent at 7:07am on January 6th, which reads “Hi team, I’m not feeling well and I’m going to take a sick day- with any luck I should be back in tomorrow. Thanks for understanding! S.”]

A lot of my friends and family are significantly more freaked out by all this than I am, and honestly that may very well be the concussion too; there’s no emotional depth to the way I think about missing an entire evening of my life and having a fairly severe injury as a result. That part strikes me, and I know this is inappropriate, as mostly funny. It’s probably a coping mechanism, but might legitimately be a crossed wire somewhere in my already poorly-wired brain. 

I have a lot of feelings about the concussion’s impact, mostly frustration that I’m recovering slowly and sadness that I had to basically write off my entire January -- I couldn’t go on a trip I’d planned, and while I got to travel this past week, I’ve basically spent the rest of the month going between work and home without too many side trips elsewhere, even locally, like out to dinner after work or to the Target near work in the morning to get a snack. 

At this point it’s been weeks and I’m improving, but I still struggle with what I call the three Ds: Decision making, Depth perception, and Dialogue. I’m not crossing the street anywhere but a crosswalk and any time except when the light is green, because I’m afraid of making a poor judgement call and crossing too close to oncoming traffic. I’m mostly steady on my feet at this point, but for days I couldn’t navigate stairs easily, and steps-down and curbs still fuck me up; I’m only this week getting back up to the speed at which I normally walk when I’m going somewhere. 

And when I write I’m fine, but when I’m speaking I often grope for words, particularly proper names for things, and have to describe them through their association with other things. It’s gotten better, but I still sometimes occasionally have to go four or five steps away from something to get back to it.  

This is a literal example of something I said recently: 

“Who is the actor, he was on Doctor Who? After the bald one. That actor, only in the movie...I mean, it wasn’t a movie, it was a long movie...a series. That actor, in the series, where the guy who wrote Sandman co-wrote the book? The character he played.” 

Things I could not reference by name:

David Tennant or Chris Eccleston

The Ninth and Tenth Doctors by number

Good Omens

Terry Pratchett or Neil Gaiman

The character Crowley, which is what I was actually trying to reference

But I could get to a reference that would lead to David Tennant, and one that would lead to Neil Gaiman, and together those could get me to Good Omens if someone else filled in a few blanks. Why is Sandman, a comic series I haven’t read in ten years, still in my head, when Good Omens, a book I love and read semi-yearly and just watched the miniseries of, isn’t? Who fucking knows. 

At one point I also called a hammer and nails, “The thing you hit wall fasteners with.” It’s like playing Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon only with every proper noun. 

It is getting better, but I think the point of this post (other than sharing a funny picture of my cat) is that I just simply cannot recommend getting a concussion, especially at the age of forty. It’s no good, zero stars, would not concuss again. 

But if you do wake up with no memory of the previous night and head wounds, and you wonder if you should go to the doctor: YES. YOU SHOULD GO TO THE DOCTOR. 

PUT ON SOME SOCKS AND GO TO THE DOCTOR. 

[sky-blaze]

Restart And Try Again

Summary:

Sam has found Rinzler, and is trying to turn him back into Tron, but thirty-year-old code requires an expert touch. Enter Alan Bradley, who ends up unexpectedly attached to his creation.

---

“I need your help.”

Alan turned to see Sam in the doorway of his office at ENCOM. His godson looked unusually agitated, despite the faux-casual pose he had assumed, leaning against the doorframe, the way his leg jiggled with barely-suppressed nervous energy gave the game away.

“Hello Sam,” Alan greeted with exaggerated formality, “Nice to see you.”

There was the barest twitch of guilt that he was abandoning politeness, but even Alan’s subtle admonishment didn’t deter him, “It’s… Dad’s… uh… project. I need your help with something.” Sam blurted, the words coming all in a rush, making him sound like the awkward teenager Alan remembered with a mixed amount of fondness. The words, however, made Alan raise an eyebrow.

“I was under the impression,” Alan said slowly, “That you and Quorra were handling that.”

“We are… mostly. But there’s one thing that needs your...uh...personal touch.” Sam said, his eyes darted around warily, and Alan understood that this was not something Sam was comfortable discussing in the ENCOM officers, where just anyone could listen in.

After only a moment of hesitation, Alan grabbed his keys of his desk, “Lead on, then. I can’t promise anything, but I can take a look.”

Sam’s answering smile was full of relief.

-

Neither Kevin nor Sam had revealed the full details on Kevin Flynn’s ‘project’. The closed system hidden in the basement of the arcade was still largely a mystery to him, Lora and Roy, but Sam had at least told him about Kevin’s ultimate fate; saving the system, The Grid, by reintegrating himself with his rogue program, CLU. Alan was torn between being impressed at what his old friend had accomplished and wanting to raise him from the dead so he could strangle him for being so reckless.

A prickle of apprehension crawled up Alan’s spine when he saw the digitising laser; so familiar from those early days at ENCOM. It looked so incredibly incongruous sat there in front of a workstation terminal. Alan took a deep breath of the dry, stale basement air and looked at Sam, who shuffled uncomfortably.

“Would you care to explain?” Alan asked carefully.

Sam looked at his shoes for a moment, taking his own deep, fortifying breath, “You gave a copy of your security program to Dad for his project, right?” Sam began.

Alan frowned, “Tron. Yes, I did. What does this have…” Alan’s eyes widened, “Is he still..?” Alan had often found it difficult to reconcile the work he did every day - coding, compiling and upgrading software - with the ideas that Kevin had espoused about programs being like real people, living within the machine, but Tron had always been… different. Special. There was a connection there that Alan had never been able to explain. Thinking Tron was… gone had been unexpectedly and inexplicably painful.

Sam looked uncomfortable again, “Sort of. CLU got to him. He… repurposed him. Turned him into an attack dog, renamed him Rinzler. I don’t know how, but something in him must have… fought back. Towards then end, before the reintegration, Rinzler turned on CLU - tried to attack him.”

Alan frowned, his brows drawing tightly together as apprehension congealed into worry, “But you found him?”

Sam nodded, “Yeah but… his code is a total mess. I’ve tried to help him, but some of his core kernal is… well, its beyond me.”

Alan blinked, “And you think I can help?”

“He’s your program.” Sam said softly.

“Sam, in case you forgot, I wrote it – him – in the eighties. Its been a while.” Alan replied, anxiety rising in his chest, tension making his shoulders ache as he stared at the laser and the darkened terminal.

“You’re his best shot,” Sam insisted, “You’re his user. He’s… well, he’s been asking for you.”

Alan couldn’t help but stare, “Asking for me?”

Sam sighed, “He’s not completely conscious, but whenever I try to work on his code, he pushes me away and says ‘Alan1’ over and over.”

“My old username at ENCOM.” Alan said faintly. He sighed, pushing his glasses up his nose, “All right. You’ve convinced me. I’ll give it a shot. What do I need to do?”

Sam nodded at the seat in front of the terminal – the one with the laser pointed ominously at it, “Sit right there. I’ll handle the rest. Oh, and don’t worry when you get there, I’ll be right behind you.”

For the first time since Sam had arrived at Alan’s office, Sam flashed one of his bright smiles. Alan wasn’t sure if it was meant to be reassuring, but since that same smile was often on the face of both father and son right before some of their more outrageous stunts, Alan decided he was correct to be concerned.

–

Arriving in the Grid was just as disorienting as Alan had feared. He materialised – for lack of a better term – to almost total blackness. The only faint white light in the small, closed-off room was… himself. His shirt glowed with a faint white radiance, while his suit pants and jacket had gone from dark grey to jet black. His face felt… odd. He reached up to touch his glasses, but once his fingers made contact with the frames, there was a spark of white across the lenses and his vision suddenly came alive with a host of information, scrolling across like a military-style heads-up display.

“Huh.” He said.

A column of light coalesced beside him, and in moments Sam had arrived, wearing some of sort of… armoured black suit covered in glowing white circuitry patterns.

“Nice outfit.” Alan commented dryly when Sam had fully materialised.

Sam grinned back, “Nice glasses.”

“I appear to have come equipped with an augmented reality display.” Alan said, “I can’t say I don’t appreciate the upgrade.”

“Advantages of being a User in a computer, I guess.” Sam shrugged.

“Apparently.” Alan’s gaze sharpened as it fixed on Sam, trying to ignore the little pop-ups of information on the heads-up display, which described Sams’s clock speed, code integrity and power level, “Where is he?” Alan asked softly.

“This way.” Sam said, leading Alan out of the darkened room and into the city streets.

The city was something of a revelation for Alan, who was almost mesmerised by the colour, the angles, the beauty of it all, especially with his glasses providing him with helpful information on each point of interest, right down to its code composition, if he so chose. Getting control of the flow of information was a challenge; Alan was a programmer, and the beauty of this place, not just on a physical level, but on the level of pure code, was almost too much to resist. Only the knowledge that someone – that Tron – needed his help, let him keep his focus.

Sam led him through the neon-laced streets, up into a glowing tower. Quorra greeted them at the door, the usually perky ISO oddly subdued. The room Alan was guided into was comfortable, decorated in muted shades of white and pale blue. It almost like a high-end hotel, except with more glowing parts.

A figure lay motionless on the plush-looking bed. Dressed entirely in black, an opaque helmet covering his face, the glowing circuitry lines were strangely truncated, pulsing an ominous dark orange. The most distinctive marking was the set of small squares near his throat, set in a T shape.

“Tron.” Alan breathed. The figure on the bed twitched, and made a rattling moan. It was a ragged, pained sound, like a fan with a worn bearing, or a failing hard drive. Either way, the noise worried him.

“Here.” Sam said, handing him… a disk? It looked like a hollow Frisbee, its edges its edges pulsing the same malevolent, fiery orange as Tron’s circuitry. Alan’s glasses promptly displayed information telling him how to bring up a code overview from the disk. Helpful. He was starting to wish he had something like it in the real world.

He sat down on a sinfully comfortable chair and watched as the code spiralled up from the disk, appearing in a splay of holographic light. He examined it for a few long moments, turning it this way and that, marvelling at the 3-D representation that revealed data structures, variable arrays and other things that Alan usually had to keep track of in his head, all presented clearly but… something wasn’t right. He dug further, finally finding something familiar. He wasn’t usually one to blow his own trumpet about his programming prowess, but the core of the original code he had written looked remarkably elegant next to what appeared to be hastily hacked-in patches with more recent timestamps.

After further investigation, Alan sat back with a scowl, “Who wrote this additional code?”

Sam looked up from where he had sprawled on a sofa, “Uh...why?” he asked.

Alan scowled harder, “Because I’d like to punch them in the mouth.”

“It was probably CLU,” Quorra said, almost making Alan jump. She’d been so still and quiet he’d almost forgotten she was there, “Well, either CLU or Dyson.” She continued, “They’re both… gone now.”

“Hmph.” Was Alan’s only reply. He spent another few moments staring at the butchery that had been made of his creation, trying to fight down anger on Tron’s behalf at what had been done to him. The new blocks of code emphasised obedience, and violence. To have this done to Tron, who was created to be self-sufficient, to protect, not attack, it felt like nothing so much as torture and brainwashing.

“I think I can fix this.” He said finally, “But it’s not going to be quick. I’ll need time, and access to my usual suite of programming tools.” He gestured to the swirling holographic code, “This is lovely, but its not what I’m used to. It’ll be quicker and easier for me to use a normal workstation.”

Sam nodded, “Yeah, I get it. Programming in the Grid is… different.”

A thought occurred to Alan, “Is it even possible to transfer data to this system? I didn’t see any ports, except the I/O and display port, and the operating system is bound to be completely unique.”

Sam nodded again, more slowly this time, and Alan heard Quorra take a sudden, sharp breath, “It… is…”

“I hear a ‘but’ at the end of this sentence.” Alan said.

Sam gave a slightly forced chuckle, “Yeah, okay. It is possible, but you kinda need to use yourself as the data storage medium.”

Alan blinked, “What?”

Sam chuckled, sounding far more natural this time, “It’s okay. I’ll show you when we get back.”

Alan’s gaze went back to the figure lying so still on the bed, seeming almost lifeless if not for the dull pulsing of the circuitry, and the scrolling information on Alan’s heads-up display. “Will he be all right?” he asked.

“Quorra’s staying with him.” Sam replied. Alan caught the look that flickered between Quorra and Sam, suddenly understanding that it wasn't just a case of keeping Tron company; it was making sure that that awful ‘Rinzler’ code-butchery didn’t cause him to hurt himself or anyone else. Quorra was more guard than nurse. The thought made his stomach knot up. 

Without thinking, Alan reached over to pat Tron on the arm, “I’ll be back, and I promise I’ll help you.”

Tron made a noise, that odd grinding sound, but softer this time, sounding almost like a purr, and then, a barely audible rasp, “Aaalaan onnneee…”

“I’ll be back.” Alan reassured again, feeling a lump in his throat. He forced himself to let go, ignoring the odd look Sam gave him as he marched out of the room and heading back towards where the laser had dropped them, not really knowing why he felt like crying.

–

Less than a week later, Alan found himself back in the basement beneath Flynn’s Arcade. True to his word, Sam had taught him how to port code to and from the Grid. It was something of an involved process, and needed one of the obscure ‘floptical’ storage systems to interface with Flynn’s ageing, custom-built computer system. It had taken almost as long to find the right storage system as it had to actually rebuild Tron’s code.

Now, he loaded the disk caddy into the semi-hidden drive slot and loaded his own ‘profile’ on the workstation and hit ‘import’. Sam then took over and loaded the laser digitisation program.

“Ready?” Sam asked.

Alan shifted, feeling both impatient and anxious, “Yeah, let’s go.”

The dizzying sensation overtook him and he once again found himself in that darkened room inside the Grid. This time, however, there was significantly more light – still coming from himself. The sensible suit he had worn before was replaced by a long black overcoat, decorated with glowing white circuitry lines. His shirt was still softly glowing white, but he could feel the weight of an ID disk on his back.

“That’s new.” Sam said, frowning, “You okay Alan?”

“Yeah,” Alan smiled, “I think it’s due to the extra data I had to import into my profile so I could help Tron.”

Sam chuckled, “Looks good on you. No fair you get a cooler outfit than mine, though.”

Alan couldn’t help but smirk, “And the cool glasses.”

“Yeah, rub it in why don’t ya?” Sam lightly smacked his godfather on the arm, and once again led Alan through the twisting streets to where Tron lay.

It looked like Tron had barely moved, but when Alan stepped through the door, Tron made that painful-sounding grinding noise, his arms twitching. “How has he been?” Alan asked Quorra.

Quarra shrugged, “About the same. He twitches sometimes, and calls out for you. If anyone else tries to touch him, though, he tries to get away, despite how damaged he is.”

The bluntly spoken assessment chilled Alan, and he took a deep breath, reaching over to the program laying motionless against the plush blue bedcovers, “Tron? It’s me, Alan. I’m here to help you, but I need your ID disk. Is that okay?”

The grinding noise grew louder, and Tron’s body twitched almost violently, “aaaa...aaaa.” Tron rasped, trying again to move. It took Alan a few moments to realise that Tron was trying to roll over, to expose his ID disk at his User’s request. The display of trust made something in Alan’s chest twist.

Reaching down, Alan helped his program to roll onto his side, noting almost absently as he did so that where he touched Tron’s circuits, the orange faded into bright blue, just for a second, before it bled back to orange.

As gently as he could, Alan disengaged Tron’s disk from the port, and reached to his own back to pull off his own disk. Praying silently to whatever gods looked after programmers, he slowly brought the two disks into contact.

Holding his breath, Alan watched as the white light of his disk slowly melted into the orange, and wherever it touched, the light changed, transforming from deep orange into blue. When the process finally completed, Alan felt like he could breathe again, but the knot in his stomach still remained, a reminder that it wasn’t quite over.

Carefully pulling the two disks apart, Alan clicked his own back into place before leaning down and carefully, almost reverentially, placing Tron’s disk back in its port.

The change was immediate. The blue light flowed like water from the disk port, spreading across the circuitry lines. When it reached Tron’s neck, the mask dissolved, revealing a face that looked precisely like Alan himself had thirty years ago. Tron’s eyelids fluttered and he blinked open his eyes, looking unerringly at his User, eyes full of wonder and joy.

“Alan1.” Tron said, his voice almost...worshipful, which was deeply embarrassing, but at least it was at last free of the awful grinding growl.

Alan felt tears in his eyes, “Welcome back, Tron.” he said, reaching out to take his creation’s hand.

Tron frowned, “I… so much has happened.” Sorrow filled the program’s face, “I...I failed. I did terrible things. I’m so sorry, Alan1.”

“Shhh,” Alan soothed, perching next to Tron on the edge of the bed, unable to tear his gaze away from his creation, “It’s all right. You did everything you could. You fought back against CLU. I couldn’t be any prouder of you.”

The awestruck wonder was back in Tron’s face, his fingers curling tightly around Alan’s own, apparently totally unwilling to let go. Alan gently touched the circuitry on Tron’s arm, marvelling at the colour – it wasn’t quite the electric blue of Quorra’s lines, it was paler - closer to ice blue, and Alan wondered at the reason for that difference, if it had any particular significance.

The sound of someone clearing their throat startled them both, both Tron and Alan apparently forgetting that Sam and Quorra were in the room. Sam looked somewhat embarrassed, “Uh, so yeah. Me and Quorra have… stuff to take care of. We’re gonna head out, okay?”

Alan rubbed at the back of his neck with his free hand, feeling his own embarrassment climb up his cheeks, “Uh, sure.”

Tron tugged on his hand, “You’ll stay with me, Alan1?” his face and voice full of hope.

Alan couldn’t help but smile, “Of course, Tron.” he said, and Tron shuffled over on the bed to make room, not once letting go of his User’s hand.

Alan lay down next to his creation, the security program he had coded with his own hands, trying not to melt under said program’s adoring gaze. Without really thinking about it, Alan brought Tron’s hand up to kiss his knuckles, wondering exactly how this had become his life.

Once he turned to see the joy shining in Tron’s face, free of the pain he had suffered, Alan couldn’t bring himself to mind.

End of Line.

[amandajoyce118]

Agents Of SHIELD S7E01 “The New Deal” Easter Eggs And References

In the season seven premiere, most of the team ends up in 1931 New York thanks to some time travel shenanigans. We love shenanigans, right? The is the last season premiere ever, and it’s bittersweet, but I’m diving right in.

As always, if you don’t remember this from the last few seasons of me writing up Easter eggs (posts are tagged aos easter eggs if you want to read old ones), this list assumes you have seen the episode. There will be spoilers.

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.

Again, spoilers. Turn back now if you don’t want them. Okay? Good.

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The Episode Title.

It’s a reference to FDR’s political work. I mean, Coulson even references it and says the episode title in the show. I kind of love when show’s do that? This show didn’t used to, but they did it a lot more the last two seasons, so maybe it’s a thing now.

The Title Card.

I feel like it’s unfair to call this an Easter egg, but if they didn’t put a 1931 timestamp on the top of the episode, the title card could have told you what era the team was in. Whoever was in charge of designing it did a great job making it look like a classic film title card.

Faceless People.

Okay, so the chronocoms erase the faces of the people they wish to resemble. This isn’t really a thing in the comics, but there is a character called “Faceless One.” He happens to be an alien who wants to conquer Earth as well, but is basically a big yellow ball with legs, so I doubt there’s any connection other than the cool effect.

Coulson’s Data Flood.

Okay, we get that literally everything Coulson says when he’s not talking to Daisy, Mack, and Jemma are quotes from previous seasons, right? Good. He even downloads the information on Ghost Rider, his own death, last season, etc.

Deke Has A Workstation.

Okay, not an Easter egg, but I think we need to take a moment and appreciate that Jemma built Deke a workstation and Fitz left him the tool we saw way back in season five. Why? Because Deke never feels like he belongs and he wants so badly to be close to his family, and now, we see that they thought of him while upgrading their ship. He has a place. And it’s right next to Jemma.

Elena Is Quarantined.

That’s because she was infected by the shrike in season six, not because the writers are psychic and knew there would be a massive epidemic going on when the show premiered. (Sorry, typed that before I realized Jemma was going to actually say it in show, so it’s staying in.)

Gemini And Koenig.

Gemini is actually a pretty popular name/codename in Marvel Comics, so it being used as, supposedly, the code name for the person in charge of the speakeasy made me laugh. It’s much more likely here that the bartender didn’t react wrong to the use of the word, that it’s used to weed out pretenders, hence the double barrel shotgun he affectionately calls the twins. I also like that it’s a tease for a Koenig appearing since we initially thought the Koenig siblings were twins and it turns out there are too many for us to count at this point (not really, I’m exaggerating, but great that grandpa or great-grandpa Koenig looks exactly like the modern day Koenigs. I mean, come on, they’re clones or something, right?).

“It’s not exactly your first time being separated by space and time.”

Okay, look, if you have to keep inserting meta humor into a show about how often you separate your main couple, maybe you should stop separating your main couple. (Yes, I know, Iain de Caestecker had another job he was working on in seasons six and seven, but seriously, it’s not funny. Your audience is tired of it.) I mean, to be frank, Fitz is one of my favorite characters in the show, but I didn’t really miss him in this episode? That might sound bad, but I don’t think they needed to comment on him being gone so much considering Jemma told them at the end of season six she didn’t  - and couldn’t - know where he was.

Wilfred “Freddie” Malick.

Daisy explains who he is, but look, it’s the father of Gideon Malick, the same Gideon who became the leader of Hydra after a broken SHIELD (and the Avengers) decided to squash all of its heads, the same guy who got Ward interested in visiting an alien planet where he ended up as Hive. He’s, like, ancient school Hydra, not just old school Hydra. What doesn’t make sense here is that they’re saying the SSR forms in response to Hydra. Technically, the SSR forms, and then they learn about Hydra, unless I’m misremembering, which is totally possible.

The Substance.

So, I gotta wonder… what’s in the test tubes? The earliest we go in the MCU is Captain America, which is still a whole decade after the events of this episode. Prior to that, Hydra experimentation did create the Red Skull, but… still not sure what’s in the tubes. I don’t really have a frame of reference from the comics to speculate either since Hydra was into literally anything and everything. 

New York.

Okay, so I’m curious if anyone knows where they filmed their 1931 New York scenes. I have questions. Because they use the same couple of blocks for all their outside scenes, which makes me think it’s a studio backlot (which would definitely help keep the script quiet) and they’re going to use a different part of the lot next week. A friend asked me if I thought it was the same as the one used for Captain America when he’s in Brooklyn in his first movie. Cap’s first movie’s Brooklyn scenes were filmed on a Universal Studios lot where they had New York building facades and street signs. If you’ve been to the theme park, you basically know what it looks like without the 30s/40s dressing. I think it’s the same lot, and I say this because I actually kept thinking that they used the set pieces Disney used for The Newsies movie in 1992 while watching the episode. Do you know where that was filmed? On the Universal Studios backlot’s New York street set up right after it was renovated in 1991. Huh.

So, Mark Kolpack basically answered this on twitter when discussing VFX. They filmed their New York street scenes on the Warner Bros. backlot, not the Universal one, so I guess the people in charge of designing the set pieces did a great job because they look pretty much the same.

This Picture.

This boxing poster was shared by Jed Whedon on instagram. Honestly, I didn’t spot it in the episode, but that could just be because I have a small television screen and I can’t read the signs unless I pause on a computer and zoom. I have bad eyes, guys. Sorry. Usually signage is something I spot on a second or third watch, but according to Whedon, this is set dressing in the episode somewhere. Probably on the street the characters walk down multiple times. 

Let’s break down the names. Kitson is George Kitson, a story editor, writer, and production assistant on the show. He wrote this episode, and, actually, next week’s episode. The planet Kitson was also named for him. Titley is Craig Titley. He’s a producer and writer for the show, probably best known for writing “4,722 Hours” at this point. Brown is such a common name, but I’m going to guess it’s for Garry Brown who has directed a handful of episodes and is also a producer on the show. Bell is, I’m thinking, Jeffrey Bell, one of the producers and writers on the show. Tancharoen is for Maurissa Tancharoen, one of the showrunners, or you know, maybe her brother, who has directed several episodes (including this one!), or her father, who is in charge of transportation to sets. Gierhart is, I’m assuming, Billy Gierhart, who has directed a lot of episodes of the show, though I don’t think he’s directed any since 2017. (If you look at the matchups, it ends up being writer vs writer, producer vs producer, director vs director when you assume the Tancharoen is Kevin.) It says there are four main events though, and only three are listed?

Not sure if the October 15 date is intentional, but if it is, that’s the day “Eye Spy” aired in season one? Steve Roger’s mother dies on October 15, but in 1936. Not sure if that’s even canon since it’s in a promotional comic, not in anything on screen.

I’m sure there are more, and if you guys spot them and tell me, I’ll add them in. If I notice any on a rewatch, I’ll add them in as well. Who’s looking forward to the time traveling this season?

[makhonkit]

From Desk-Bound To Des-Tiny : A Metaphysical Awakening

In this episode of In The Spotlight, I'm very delighted to introduce to you my good friend  @KevinChanBazi . He does Chinese Metaphysics and on YouTube and other social media platforms, he introduces the fundamentals and mechanisms of action of Chinese Metaphysics in both English and Cantonese which are especially helpful for many people, especially English speaking individuals, to understand and learn more about Chinese Metaphysics.

I would also like to congratulate Kevin for reaching 10,000 Subscribers on YouTube, an important milestone to helping even more people. I met Kevin in a very unexpected way. One day, I got invited to a fashion show as a VIP Content Creator / Influencer. I'm someone who doesn't know much about fashion but I tried my best to look the part by wearing the ONLY fashionable outfit I had in my wardrobe, my Wedding Tuxedo.

Not far from where I was standing, I was looking at an equally blur, not very friendly, and confused face of another person, standing by a light pole, who probably understands just as much fashion as me. I approached him and there were some awkward moments (Ray Mak is weird and always make people uncomfortable) but we quickly realize we were on the same boat and we went for dinner and beer with a few other friends, same boat minions, instead of staying for the entire fashion show.

In this episode of In The Spotlight, we talked about how Kevin started his early morning Livestreams and how he pivoted from writing blogs into Livestreaming and making videos. He shared about his setup and how important is streamlining his livestream processes. Here you'll be learning more about livestream processes, starting a channel, and how to have the least amount of resistance towards creating contents.

On the side, Kevin love visiting different restaurants and bars to wine and dine. He has a steadily growing Instagram page called EatinGods, which is also available on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@eatingods . People would stumble upon good restaurants on his page and save them for future. After all, there are so many amazing restaurants in Malaysia, and other countries, that are yet to be discovered.

PS : Kevin is also the catalyst, push, idea and brains behind In The Spotlight. Like many introverts that look like extroverts, I'm someone who have a lot of fear talking to the camera but I'm very blessed to have many good friends who have much more to offer to the society than me, which I've never taken the time to realize, until I met Kevin.

Be sure to like, comment, and most importantly share if you find this podcast useful. Thank you very much and advance and Enjoy the Show! Feel free to make use of these timestamps to go to the topics that you're most interested in.

00:00 Intro 00:45 Ray Mak And Kevin Chan's First Meeting Picture 01:06 Kevin Chan As The Catalyst For In The Spotlight 02:28 Pivoting From Writing To Live-Streaming 04:08 Chinese Metaphysics As A Niche 05:52 How Do You Make Your Content Interesting? 07:48 How Did You Know That Chinese Metaphysics Would Be Something You're Passionate With? 12:00 Different Types Of Contents 13:10 Ray Mak As A Catalyst To Video Creation - YouTube 14:40 Two Main Categories Of Contents - BaZi and Feng Shui 16:27 Challenges And Roadblocks 20:43 Difference Between YouTube and Facebook 23:22 Curating Presentation Slides 25:24 Will You Run Out Of Topics? 26:34 Any Burnout? Deliberate VS Spontaneous 30:32 Importance Of Streamlining Processes 32:01 Words Of Wisdom

About In The Spotlight

I have been a content creator for almost two decades now as I've had the privilege to have started when all these platforms started. Over the years, I've made many great friends and have also enjoyed the many blessings from the Internet.

In The Spotlight is a Platform where my amazing content creators friends share their precious experiences so we can all learn together as well. I really hope you like it too.

Last but not least, special thanks to my good friend  @KevinChanBazi  ( http://www.youtube.com/kevinchanbazi ) for being the catalyst, push, idea and brains behind In The Spotlight.

This podcast was recorded with the amazing new BOYALINK - All-In-One Design Wireless Microphone System from  @BOYA-mic . They are so sleek and easy to use!

Special Discount Link to my Boya Link (Enjoy!) : https://shope.ee/8zgRUMM75J

#inthespotlight #creator #contentcreator

Follow  @KevinChanBazi   YouTube : https://www.youtube.com/kevinchanbazi YouTube : https://www.youtube.com/@eatingods TikTok : https://www.tiktok.com/@kevinchanbazi Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/kevinchanbazi Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/eatingods Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/kevinchanbazi Twitter : https://twitter.com/kevinchanbazi

Talk to me : 🎵 Instagram ▸ http://instagram.com/makhonkit 🎵 Facebook ▸ http://facebook.com/raymakpiano 🎵 Twitter ▸ http://twitter.com/makhonkit

[thesunnyshow]

Name: Elsie

Writing Blog URLs: @jyeonvoir​, @linochee​, and @cinnominroll​

What fandoms do you write for?: The Boyz, Stray Kids, and NCT (Mostly for dreamie)

Age: 20

Nationality: Indonesian

Languages: Native-level Indonesia, Intermediate English, and Beginner-level Chinese

Star Sign: Aries

MBTI: ESFP-A

Favorite color: Soft blue and pink

Favorite food: Fried chicken

Favorite movie: Along With The Gods: Two Worlds

Favorite ice cream flavor: Chocolate

Favorite animal: Cat and Dog

Dream job (whether you have a job or not): Since I was in middle school, I dreamed to be a news anchor or a tv presenter

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering?: I actually prefer milk more than those two, But if I have to choose, I will go with tea

Go-to karaoke song: Popular songs of the year that I know (Western and Korean)

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose?: Space and time manipulation

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose?: Srivijaya era (3rd – 14th centuries) or Majapahit era (1293–1500)

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you?: I don’t think I would. Restarting my life would mean I have a chance to fix my future, but it also means I might lose something I have in the future (and it does not always mean good)

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been?: Either the popular kid or the loner

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken?: 100 chicken-sized horses. Normal-sized chicken already scares me, I can’t imagine what will happen if I have to fight horse-sized chicken, even it’s one.

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures?: Yes, I do. Not everything can be explained in science, y’know.

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know?: When I was five y.o, I had my parents panicked once. So back then, instead of going home with my little sister, I went to the hospital alone and visited my mother who had just given birth to my little brother without giving any notice to them. My neighbour, who saw my little sister went home without me, worried and called my dad. Panicked, my dad called my mom and told them that I was missing. Lucky, I arrived at my mom’s room just when she answered my dad’s call and they hadn’t called the police yet. Later that night, I got a long lecture from my dad at home.

When did you post your first piece?: If I remember it correctly, it was around early July 2018 on my personal blog -- one or two weeks after I just joined Tumblr. But, before Tumblr, I had posted fics on Wattpad in late 2014

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr?: It’s all because I found a few interesting fics here and then it motives me to write again. I also happened to be looking for a new platform to write since I was bored with Wattpad.

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why?: I do write fluff and angst fics, but mostly fluff because I’m a sucker for fluff. I’m not good with angst and bad at writing smut

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc?: Used to write Ocs, but since I joined Tumblr I write X Readers more often than OCs.

What inspires you to write?: MVs (The one with a story) and song lyrics

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most?: Romance with a little bit of fantasy

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively?: Take a break from writing for a while

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful?: My favorite work of mine and the most succesful, excluding the drabbles and timestamps, is Lee Know’s fic titled “What Are You Up To?”. Among the oneshots I had made, it is the only fic that reached more than 200 notes and I’m quite proud of it. It was inspired by a Korean novel I read and a bitter experience of my junior high school love.

What do you hope your readers take away from your work?: I hope my readers can see many sides of a relationship, either it friendship or between lovers. Sometimes, relationship can’t be smooth and have a happy ending like in movies and novels, and it’s not always sad and dark. Also, since the culture that I have grown up with different from people that I meet from this online platform, I want to show how I see a relationship supposed to be.

Who is your favorite person to write about?: In the boyz, it was Sunwoo and Kevin since they are the easiest out of twelve to write for me. In Stray Kids, It is either Bang Chan, Hyunjin, or Lee Know. As for NCT, I think it will be Jaemin and Jeno.

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose?: Yes, I do. To me, writing fanfiction is easier than an original. In fanfiction, I don’t need to make a detailed characterization of the characters since it’s using a real person as the reference. But as for an original, the more detailed the characterization of the characters the more people could get the sketch of the story since this is the character that I made myself without a reference. 

What do you think makes a good story?: A good description, and language that easy to understand, followed with a balanced proportion of dialogue and description.

What is your writing process like?: I start by writing the outline first and do some research before starting to write it. I don’t have a specific plan like when should I write or how long it should be, but I tend to write when I’m in the mood. I can’t force myself to finish a fic just in one week (If I do, I will not satisfy with it and the ending will feel rushed). That’s why It usually takes a long time for me to finish a fic or req.

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story?: Yes. Of course I would. I’m actually in the process of repurposing one of my old fics into a webtoon with my little sister. But we don’t know when we will start.

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand?: I love strangers-to-lovers, enemies-to-lovers, secret relationship, and bad boy tropes. To be exact, any trope that show a good development of the characters and has a fantasy in it will be in my to-read list. However, I can’t stand the tropes with angst (especially if I’m not in the mood to read angst), break up, and thriller in it. I will still read it, but not on the top of my to-read list.

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)?: Supportive friends and family members. 

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself?: No, I don’t. I always write for myself and put my satisfaction first before anything. 

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times?: No, I don’t. It never happens to me.

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr?: Some of my college friends who are a Kpop stan do know about it, though they don’t know my blog url. Only my little sister does.

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged?: Yeah, most of the times. Especially for those who write X Readers fics.

Do you think art can be a medium for change?: Absolutely. Art has the power to inspire change in the masses.

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you?: Feedback and constructive criticism on my works are so, so valued! It’s important for me to able to improve and motivate myself.

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers?: Please stay healthy and be happy. Feel free to talk to me whenever you want because my ask always open for you.

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there?: You will never know your potential until you try it. It’s okay if your first work doesn’t look great. No one is perfect, even me. I used to make so many grammatical errors in my first fic (even in the newest one, though it wasn’t that bad like before). As long as you satisfy with it, you still can improve it in the future.

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr?: Nah, There aren’t.

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey?: Yes, I do. And I’m thankful for that. Because of them, I was able to learn new things and experience many styles of writing by reading theirs.

Pick a quote to end your interview with: “Sometimes you feel like you are alone in this world, but in reality, you have people around you who love and care for you.” -- Huang Renjun

BONUS: K-POP CONFIDENTIAL

Interested in your very own episode of The Sunny Show? Find out how to apply HERE.

[emetophobiahelp]

Skins UK | Season 1 complete list

First of all: thank you all for filling up this blog with warnings. You prepared and saved my emet ass many times.

I really recommend Skins because its a beautiful show, but I always hesitated to watch because of the subjects and accompanying emet risk. So here’s a complete, detailed list of possible triggers in Skins season 1!

Note: the ‘timestamps’ are based on Netflix (which is why theyre so vague), not YouTube (every episode on YT has a recap first, Netflix doesnt).

S1E1 safe.

S1E2 opens on Cassies face, she looks at her hand which is covered in something yellowy, gleamy and sticky (might be triggering), she also looks into a dirty pan. But it turns out its food bc of a food fight throughout the whole house. The stuff is also in Chriss hair in the same scene, just a min later.

S1E3 safe.

S1E4 at around 5 mins in, Sid is sitting against the wall next to a girl. After he says: “and I was hoping… maybe you have, too?”, the girl v* on him, rather suddenly, altho shes clearly drunk and slumped against him earlier. Mostly an auditory trigger (g*/bluh and splosh); visually, you see the girl 'fall’ on Sids shoulder when she v*. She then lays her head on his lap, nothing more happens. The v* itself is a little bit visible, mostly right after the sound. On Sids tshirt, it just looks wet.

Sid reappears with the v* on his shirt at around 10 mins, right after Michelle pulls the blanket over herself and Tony taps the aquarium glass. The v* has dried up and better visible than in the earlier scene. He also says: “sorry, someone just p* on me”. He and his shirt leave again after he says: “theyre um, nice, Michelle. Sorry”.

S1E5 safe.

S1E6 safe.

S1E7 at around 4.5 min in, Angie spots a drunk Michelle. After Angies phone rings, Michelle g* visibly and she says: “Im gonna be sick”. Angie holds a cardboard box in front of her but Michelle v* on Angies shirt (stomach). It’s mostly a visual trigger (the orange v* itself is clearly visible) and a soft bluh sound and some r*. The v* is also on Michelles chin after. She says: “I feel better” and Angie replies: “good”, but Chelle then r* again an v* on herself and coughs. Very visual, v* is visibly coming from her mouth, orange with pieces in her lap. Drooly v* around her mouth. After that, the scene cuts to Chelle in the shower, no more v*.

S1E8 at around 20 min. Effy and friends arrive at the big party house. When they enter the blacklight room (right after Spencer throws Effy over his shoulder), her friend Julie immediately v*. You can clearly see it coming from her mouth. No g* or r* sounds, only a splosh when it hits the ground. The v* lights up a little in the blacklight and therefore doesnt look very v*-y. She only v* once and is escorted out by Kevin, who quietly says “come on lets get you cleaned up”.

S1E9 at 10 mins. Cassie and her bulimic friend leave the clinic. Cassie says: “its easy” and then “were just getting a breath of fresh air”. The friend then r*, pretending she wants to p*. Little g* sound and r* movement. No actual v* happens.

However, at 33 mins, the friend does v*. This happens after Tony says: “I liked it better when you didnt talk” and Effy replies: “wanker”. Tony looks in the rearview mirror and sees Cassie. Next to Cassie is her friend, r* in a waste container (no sound or actual visible v*). Tony says: “stay here” and walks to Cassie. Now you can hear clear r* and coughing and you see the friend r* in the background during the conversation (no actual v* pictured). Nothing happens anymore after Tony says: “Sids looking for you”.

Stay safe yall but keep challenging yourselves!

[sankyeom]

+.*☆ the boyz masterlist ☆*.+

special series

➪ an au a day (2k celebration au series) [ongoing]     ⤷ the boyz x reader  summary: a collection of 11 AUs, one for each active member of the boyz, to celebrate reaching 2k followers!! ➞ 2k celebration masterlist

multiple members

juyeon / changmin

➪ idolised (social media au) [completed]     ⤷ idol!reader x idol!juyeon/idol!changmin (idol au, love triangle) summary: in which you collaborate with the boyz in an effort to stop your company from disbanding your group ➞ series masterlist

sangyeon

➪ [07:22pm] (635 words)     ⤷ i missed you (exes to lovers, idol!sangyeon)

➪ tattle-tale (5.9k words)     ⤷ teacher au summary: in which teacher!sangyeon has a crush on teacher!you and anonymously leaves little gifts for you on your desk, only to one day be caught by your entire class ➞ from my 2k followers celebration ‘an au a day’ series

jacob

➪ letters (3.9k words)     ⤷ college au summary: in which jacob accidentally gives you a love letter meant for someone else

➪ lullaby (5.4k words)   ⤷ neighbour au summary: in which your new neighbour sings you to sleep every night since the walls in your building are so thin, and you fall in love with his voice ➞ from my 2k followers celebration ‘an au a day’ series

➪ and they were roommates! (social media au) [completed]     ⤷ introvert!jacob bae x female extrovert!reader (roommates to lovers, college au) summary: in which you desperately need a new roommate to cover your rent and your best friend kevin takes matters into his own hands, offering your place to his childhood friend jacob when he moves to town ➞ series masterlist

➪ [10:03pm] (361 words)    ⤷ you’re cute (strangers to lovers, college au)

younghoon

➪ [03:48pm] (186 words)     ⤷ coffee runs (established relationship, barista au)

➪ the c in ceo stands for cute (7.2k words)     ⤷ ceo au summary: in which your handsome boss is often mistaken as cold due to his good looks and forward personality, but is actually the sweetest introvert you’ve ever met ➞ from my 2k followers celebration ‘an au a day’ series

➪ crazy rich evasions (social media au) [completed]     ⤷ rich kid!kim younghoon x female rich kid!reader (enemies to lovers, rich kids au, arranged marriage au) summary: in which your family arranges an engagement between you and your childhood nemesis kim younghoon, and the two of you swear to make the other break it off, no matter how many crazy schemes it takes. ➞ series masterlist

hyunjae

➪ [04:42pm] (264 words)    ⤷ cute wallpaper (online classes, college au)

➪ let’s play pretend (6.6k words)    ⤷ fake dating au summary: in which your sister’s wedding is right around the corner, and you don’t want to spend the day telling your relatives that your boyfriend cheated on you, so you ask hyunjae to accompany you ➞ from my 2k followers celebration ‘an au a day’ series

juyeon

➪ [11:14pm] (528 words)     ⤷ i spy with my little eye (spy au)

➪ i spy with my little eye (8.3k words)     ⤷ spy au summary: in which the company you work for is the main rival of juyeon’s company, and you’re known for always being one step ahead of him; even when it comes to realising his feelings for you (based on this timestamp by the same name) ➞ from my 2k followers celebration ‘an au a day’ series

➪ splash! (5.1k words)     ⤷ lifeguard au, summer love summary: in which you fall in love with the lifeguard at the hotel pool during your summer vacation and don’t want to have to say goodbye

kevin

➪ [02:42am] (266 words)     ⤷ phone call confessions (best friends to lovers)

➪ picture perfect (8.5k words)     ⤷ art student au summary: in which you find a sketchbook filled with drawings of you, and go on a mission to find the owner ➞ from my 2k followers celebration ‘an au a day’ series

new

➪ [08:02pm] (267 words)    ⤷ a date with destiny (blind date with a twist)

q

➪ [11:33pm] (458 words)     ⤷ horror-fying (established relationship, you hate horror films but you’re dating ji changmin so you deal lol)

➪ fortunes and misfortunes teaser (883 word teaser!)    ⤷ the boyz royal au series summary: in which you are required to find a royal suitor to finally be crowned queen of your kingdom, but find yourself falling in love with a nobleman – who may be titled, but is no royal – instead ➞ from my royal tbz series coming soon!

ju haknyeon

➪ [11:59pm] (349 words)     ⤷ my type (best friends to lovers)

sunwoo

➪ break your rules (social media au) [completed]     ⤷ brother’s best friend!sunwoo x reader (enemies to lovers, college au) summary: in which nobody knows why you don’t get along with your brother’s best friend sunwoo. or, alternately: you and sunwoo spend the night together and have to hide it from your brother eric. ➞ series masterlist

➪ [03:09pm] (382 words)   ⤷ completely clueless (best friends, sunwoo is a fool)

➪ pose (3.6k words)    ⤷ model au, enemies to lovers summary: in which you are forced to work with sunwoo, your attractive sworn enemy who never fails to get on your nerves, in order to shoot your dream magazine cover

eric

➪ [05:58pm] (606 words)     ⤷ first date (first date au lol that’s obvious by the title)

➪ batter up! (6.1k words)     ⤷ baseball player!eric sohn x reader summary: in which you are assigned to interview the unapproachable baseball team ace eric sohn, and things end up going sideways.

➪ make or break (social media au) [completed]    ⤷ [sequel to break your rules, can be read alone]    ⤷ ex boyfriend!eric x ex girlfriend!reader summary: in which you transfer to your ex boyfriend’s university and you find it hard not to fall for him all over again. (loosely based on the song make or break by the boyz) ➞ series masterlist

➪ do you believe in angels? (8.1k words)     ⤷ part of the otherworldly collab     ⤷ guardian angel!eric sohn x reader summary: in which your guardian angel eric accidentally reveals himself to you, and you get to know heaven’s secrets while teaching him about humans.

➪ kiss me if you can (4.8k words)    ⤷ eric sohn x female reader summary: in which you’ve given most of your friends a tipsy kiss except for eric, who has a massive crush on you that you’ve never noticed. when he points out this injustice, you’re happy to offer him a kiss too.

[wordstrings]

Inbox dump 

(brace yourselves, I’m including the timestamps because these have been sitting forever and you may literally forget ever having sent one of these because they’re from so long ago 😬)

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Anonymous said: March 11th 2014 *Clears throat* Non-canon verse, uni AU probably *strums guitar and takes a deep breath* DUEEEEE TO A COMPUTING errORRR, dean and gabe are stuck as roomatesssssssss, whilesamandcascanbestucktogethertoo that'snotaneccesitybutitwouldbegreaaaaaaaaattttttttt, and veeery soon it turns into something of a friendship BUT THEEEENNNN dean fights with saaAAAM and gabe is like "dude stop being so upset" aND FLUFF HAPPEeeeeeEEEEEEeens! *stands up and bows* tyvm for accepting debriel though like omg <3

I’ve been rewatching some of Supernatural seasons 5 and 6 this past weekend, and it reminded me how much I love and miss Gabriel. I still maintain that Debriel is a super-underrated ship. The manic-chaos potential is *muah*. (see: #Debriel)

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Anonymous said: August 7th 2018 psst... light back tickles while cuddling in bed are pure™ and wholesome™

Good shit good shit good shit

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Anonymous said: September 19th 2018 I love science and go to public seminars as often as I can. I walked in to the most recent one (which I had picked at random), and it was on the science of tickling. There were demonstrations. There were hand gestures and finger wiggling. There were in depth descriptions of the anatomy and physiology behind ticklish spots. It was legitimately your Amateur Production’s fic, and I was Kevin. Worst of all it was 2 hours long. I think I died during it and my soul was sucked into hell.

Uhhhhhh where can I get a copy of the slide deck?? Asking for a friend. (see: #series: Amateur Production)

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Anonymous said: September 23rd 2018 your art skills have me shook in the best possible way

aaaahh thank you! Fun fact: I went to art school and even took illustration as a concentration area but I’ve hardly drawn anything for like ten years. When I do draw, it’s usually because there are feelings that I don’t wanna do words about. (see: #strings does art)

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Halo!anon said: September 27th 2018 A small, sinful part of Castiel had the urge to gloat. It was somewhat dampened by the fact that Dean was still under the impression that being abducted is peak romance."I can't believe you went out of your way to set up our second date!" He'd squealed, as Castiel tightened his restraints. - little excerpt of a sequel to Date Nights with Demons i had planned for months but abandoned. halo!anon

Your demented version of Demon!Dean is so entertaining 😄 (see: Date Nights with Demons)

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Anonymous said: November 6th 2018 Aaaaah your Gabriel / Kali drabble was adorable, I can't help but love seeing our mighty archangel reduced to a mass of giggles, and you write Gabriel so so well <3. I love your writing your stories always brighten my day ^^

It’s so rare for him to let his guard down, isn’t it? But when he does, he has a grand old time of it. :) (see: this drabble)

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sarah-lou-who said: November 8th 2018 1/4 Boo! The ghost of my online presence in the community is peeking its head in because I need help. I don’t have a platform or following to sound an alarm, so I’m using my platonic tumblr wife’s platform and following for me, because that’s what platonic tumblr wives do. Right? Anyway, I’m very actively fixated on Attack on Titan atm. You know this very well. You also know my predicament. I seem to have exhausted the entire supply of tickly AoT content I’m interested in that exists currently. 2/4 So, if you’re willing to publish these for me, I’m crying out into the vast TFB lands hoping that there’s someone out there to answer the call. I am in desperate need of tickly AoT content. I don’t know if anyone around here writes for it much these days. I haven’t found anyone. And I know beggars can’t be choosers, but it can’t be helped; I really only care if Eren is involved. Even better would be Levi, but I haven’t found ANYTHING involving him, so I feel like asking for that is futile. 3/4 I digress. Even after all this time I can’t keep my asks less than 50 parts long. So my goal here is that someone, somewhere, will by chance come across these, and be able and willing to either write fic of the tickly variety for Eren and/or Levi from Attack on Titan, or direct me to someone who can, if they know a person who knows a person who knows a person. (Sidenote, hi anyone who still remembers me! It’s Sarah, the more ticklish half of Leerah. I’m doing good and I miss you!) 4/4 (I hope you’re all doing well!) Thank you for letting me take advantage of your devoted followers, Strings! Love yaaa!!!

Ah, my platonic tumblr wife Sarah returns! (Digitally, anyway. Reality-wise, we hang out all the time and it’s probably very rude of me to have not published this ask for so long!) I keep teasing her that she has a Type, and that is dark-haired sulky badass who’d probably make a wicked ‘ler – AoT Levi, SPN Cas, FMA Roy, etc. So anyway, if anyone knows of somewhere I can point her to find the content she’s (still) craving, lmk!

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Anonymous said: October 23rd 2019 I’m sorry if this is invasive in any way, but how is Sarah doing? I’ve been absent from Tumblr for a couple years and I see that her blog is now deactivated. I was just wondering if she’s doing alright and if she’s still around here on a different blog maybe?

See above! She doesn’t have a TFB community blog anymore, but she’s doing well. We’re quarantine buddies and helping each other out a lot. Very kind of you to ask! <3

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Anonymous said: December 2nd 2018 Hi, sorry to bother you but do you know what happened to prodigal-anon’s blog? It seems to have been deleted. Sorry again if you’ve been asked this before

No worries, friend! Here’s an answer for you!

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Anonymous said: December 13th 2018 I LOVE THE LOOPY SERIES! I love it so much, is there any chance you’ll be doing a part four? I’d give anything to see Cas and Dean tickle each other, it would be so cute 😍

Despite all evidence to the contrary, I haven’t entirely stopped writing... and Loopy 4 is one of those unfinished pieces that has seen a few additions lately. :) I’ve learned not to make promises about when something might get finished and posted, but I genuinely do believe this may be one of the first things that shows up once I’m ‘back in the game.’ Stay tuned... (see: #series: Loopy)

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Anonymous said: January 1st 2019 No no no you can't just stop there! I need more fluffy destiel with tickles and kissing! Pretty please?

I believe this is in response to Wonder whose arms will hold you good and tight. Don’t you worry, anon – Dean and Cas are not done being fluffy on this blog!

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1832wasalongtimeago said: January 25th 2019 Hi I just wanted to pop in and say the Maintenance series is amazing!! The second part was doing things to my poor heart I’ve read it like 5 times already. You’re such an amazing writer and thank you fo writing for us!

I’m very flattered, but I can’t take credit for the Of Maintenance series – that’s the lovely work of ask-flip-frost! It does things to my poor heart, too, so you’re in good company. :)

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Anonymous said: January 26th 2019 Sam Winchester can take a lot of things. The one thing he CAN'T take? Someone using baby talk on him when he's being tickled. He collapses into a puddle of helpless giggles faster than a house of cards in a stiff wind.

Precious Sammy just needs to laugh and be held, doesn’t he? <3

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Anonymous said: May 17th 2019 Thor needs tickles. So. Damn. Much.

Oh this was from right after Endgame came out. Thor did make me feel some sads there. :( Poor bab.

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Anonymous said: July 25th 2019 hi! i’ve read your wonderful fics forever but i’ve never really sent anything like this before so i don’t really know what to say.. but i had a destiel tickly thought and really wanted to share it with somebody, so here goes i guess- dean is taking too long in the shower so cas decides to use his mojo from the other room to speed things along. and listens to dean’s echoey laughs through the door. that’s all. sorry if this is weird! okay bye have a good one

This is not weird and I may have delayed in telling you any of my feelings about it but I definitely have a doc somewhere that has some vague notes about how I’d like to write this because I like it!

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Anonymous said: August 6th 2019 Anhhgff your Good Omens tword fics are so cute snvfddf i never knew I needed that of my favorite husbands till now😳😍

I know, right?! They’re just dying to be dropped into every fluffy situation. (see: #Good Omens)

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Anonymous said: July 25th 2019 Poking my head in to say hello, hope you’re doing well still! I just got into Good Omens and I absolutely loved your fic! (I watched the show first because my book was taking too long in the mail lol) Also, the other week I somehow talked myself into making a tfb blog, after all these years of almost doing so before chickening out (this ask isn’t from it because I just hopped in here briefly in a private phone browser to say hi, it’s literally just august-anon though) ~August!Anon

August!anon, I’m always so happy to see you stop by! Tagging your (not-so-new anymore) blog so everyone can check you out: @august-anon​

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hey-teenblog said: August 4th 2019 I love your fanfiction very much! They give me a lot of pleasant emotions. And most importantly, they, saturated with tenderness and love, gave me to accept myself as lee!! sorry for my english, i'm russian Love you 😘❤️

I will never tire of hearing things like this! Thank you for telling me. “Saturated with tenderness and love” is a such wonderful compliment about my writing – thank you very much! No need to apologize for language differences; I’m always impressed with anyone who manages to pick up English because it’s bonkers. 

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Anonymous said: August 23rd 2019 Hi! Just found this blog and wondering some basic info. ** What fandoms do toy write for? ** Do you accept prompts? ** Do you write reader insert fics? Thank you lovley ❤️

Anonymous said: August 29th 2019 Do you write tickle fics for bnha?? Asking for a friend 👀👀

The only fandoms I have reliably been able to write for are Supernatural and Good Omens – but even Good Omens is a rookie player here. Supernatural is my main jam, and Destiel is my favorite flavor. I don’t do reader inserts, but I’m always “accepting” prompts. I just haven’t written many of them for quite a long time now, so you’re welcome to drop them as long as you’re okay with them collecting dust. (see: this selfsame post)

My About/FAQ page is very dusty right now, too, but there might be some useful tidbits in there for you.

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Anonymous said: November 12th 2019 okayokayokay. Have you watched Lucifer? It's on netflix, it's great, so much emotions and pining. (Also, y'know, reg. Luci stuff. He runs a club. Bad jokes. It's great.)

I haven’t, but it’s on my Netflix watchlist, so I’ll get there eventually! I saw a gifset once where he actually did the thing I see in winged fanfic all the time, where there was gunfire and he sheltered someone he cared about with his manifested wings. And honestly, that was the deciding factor for me.

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Anonymous said: November 16th 2019 Oh Man U listen to Critrole as well! Nice! Campaign 1 was awesome but also heartfelt and really gut-punching at points. Who is your fav so far, anyone you aren’t fond of? (& Out of interest do you have any tickle related thoughts on the main crew or upcoming Fics we can look out for? As you said it’s tumbleweeds out here for this fandom’s tickles and I’ll take anything really 😂!) Hope u enjoy!!!!!

It’s STILL tumbleweeds out here and it’s making me crazy! My heart belongs to Vax primarily, Percy secondarily. I don’t really have cohesive thoughts or headcanons about anything, unfortunately. I do have this one mental picture that keeps coming up that I keep wanting to see art of (who knows, maybe I’ll commission somebody someday?) – of ridiculous brute Grog just lifting Vax straight up in his arms and gettin’ wiggly with his fingers while all Vax can do is laugh and pry and kick while absolutely nobody helps him.

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Regarding #series: Accessor:

Anonymous said: August 31st 2015 I would like to see accessor!verse cas using feathers on Dean!!! and NIBBLES and RASPBERRIES and TEETH and TONGUE and WOWWWWWW

ME TOO, FRIEND. It’s been aaaaages since I published anything new for the Accessor AU, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been going back to my unfinished docs every once in a while to add a few lines here and there. ;) 

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Anonymous said: October 29th 2016 Prompt: Cas is put in charge of getting a treaty with a neighboring country that shares a lot of the same customs, including Accessories, with certain... twists (think Bracelets AU) and treats their personal slaves (like Accessories) like people (listening to opinions, giving proper care, etc.). The foreign diplomats keep bringing that up and talking to Dean. Cas isn't sure he can make it though the diplomatic proceedings. Also, he might be having improper thoughts about that custom and Dean...

I’m posting this here, but I’m definitely keeping this filed elsewhere because it’s FANTASTIC.

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Halo!anon submitted: June 4th 2018 I can’t help but imagine how tickling must play a part in other aspects of society in the accessor ‘verse, besides the sessions between master and accessory. So here’s some imagines and headcanons, with a touch of worldbuilding. (Warnings, besides the usual for this AU: death mention, reference to past trauma.)

- Among the high class, during parties and other celebrations, it’s seen as a common courtesy to string up one’s personal accessory in the center of the room and let the guests entertain themselves with them. Lord Castiel never does this with Dean, much to his fellow nobles’ disappointment; the mere suggestion had Dean quaking as things he’d rather forget came back to bite him.

- Every so often, a petty criminal(the poor man’s accessory, if you will) is placed in stocks in a small town’s square and left at the mercy of the very people they used to menace. What happens next usually involves honey, some sheep, and plenty of begging. A guard stands by to warn people, “No hurting, only tickling. Everyone please wait your turn, they’re not going anywhere any time soon.”

- Certain monastic healers perform tickle therapy as a treatment for anxiety, stress, and other “diseases of the soul”, as they call them. Balthazar himself proposed the idea, because of course he did. The rich usually indulge in this kind of therapy secretly, due to its undignified nature. Some contemplate the possibility of training accessories to tickle in the future, but it’s still a big taboo.

- Every town has a folktale about a tickle monster. Curiously, many of them involve controlling plants and attacking through dreams. The southern communities still have a giggle remembering that one time six years ago when Michael offered to hunt down one such monster and came back with Crowley, a sleazy drunkard with a fetish and a dream, sitting in a cage and wearing a mask.

- The Masters sisters, Lillith, Meg and Ruby, have a long history with law enforcement. Their favorite pastime is snatching unlucky merchants off the roads and tickling them into coughing up everything they have. Everyone is sure they had a hand in Fergus"Crowley" Macleod’s untimely demise by ferocious attack hounds, but they’re very good at covering their tracks. They’ll help you cover up your tracks too, if you’re a friend- ask Bela Talbot.

I might make a second part if I get any more ideas. I hope you enjoyed this! -Halo!anon.

I am very fond of you indeed, Halo!anon. These are so creative!

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hypahticklish submitted: July 24th 2018 Accessor!Ideas:

~ Gabriel leads a furious rant regarding Prince Lucifer/Sam to Castiel, relating back to perhaps dealings he has directly had with the Prince between their two unstable-yet-truced Kingdoms. Castiel relates with similar views shared by Gehenna’s councilor(s).

~ Dean and Sam BM where the audience learns more about their homevillage. Dean starts it after a rather morose remark from Sam and ends with Sammy smiling and stealing my heart.

~ Balthazar helps Sam in several ways: 1) Learns the Sam was originally a psuedo-Advocates apprentice, as well as herbalist nephew when Sam identifies the components to some salves/medicines he’s making (he had been explaining what he was doing in an attempt to spare himself being attacked like the first couple times) 2) Calls Sam out on being intelligent and making a recklessly stupid choice by selling himself to find Dean. 3) Removes Lucifers mark. And maybe perhaps: 4) Allows Sam to assist in his own healing/medicine making under his careful observation, feigned as needing two sets of hands to do correctly and his assistant was running an errand, to assess his skills. 5) Offer he work in the hospice under him, apprenticing, should Gabriel allow his intelligence not go to waste. It’s not what Sam really wants to do/learn, but it’s better than doing nothing.

~Dean officially thanks Castiel for saving Sam. I’m talking full feels, single man tear sorta thing. And Castiel says “there was never another option” and then its schmoopy sweet with the kisses and the tickles and the Cas saying he loves Dean back!!!!!!!! swoon.

~ Kali!Likes!Sam’s!Spirit! Give me a dinner scene with Gabriel, Kali and Sam where hes holding his own in a diplomatic conversation with them when he nearly crosses a line (maybe something classist? Making it clear that Cas and Gabe are the exception to his experiences) and she says “I like this ones fire. He reminds me of you, my love.” *grabby hands*

~ Prince Lucifer sends a message to Gabriel requesting (threatening) his Helpmate be returned to him for a handsome reward. Sam somehow sees letter and gets spooked because DRAMA. Gabriel responds to Lucifer with the Chief Advocate equivalent of “Fuck Off”

You, my friend. YOU. All these feelings about Sam? Top-notch, and I shall be borrowing them, yes I shall.

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Regarding #android!Cas:

hypahticklish said: January 23rd 2016 Android!Cas deciding today is the DAY. Dean has been teasing him lately that he likes these strange sensations that have him using all his back-up generated power to not accidentally break Dean's bones and challenging him with that cocky smirk and relaxed confidence. Android!Cas practicing during time while Dean rests with holding objects with similar density to the human wrists with enough gentle force that they neither fracture or slip from his grasp. Android!Cas surprising Dean by turning the tables and pinning his wrists over his head while settling himself on Dean's thighs. Android!Cas not necessarily tickling at first so much as just touching like he had been wanting to so as to catalog how his best friend feels with his new technology. Android!Cas feeling that bubble of FEELS in his chest as he listens to Dean swear at him with positive physical actions negating his harsh words, growing more amused as the bubbling giggles begin. I love Android!Cas 

Anonymous said: January 23rd 2016 Android!Cas figures out his own strength comes in handy for more than just retaining himself during tickle fights. When he surprises Dean, Dean tends to squirm and fight back a little (even though he told Cas to get him back as part of the experience), so Cas uses his strength to gently hold Dean down while ticking him. Dean's never been held immobile before so it's a new experience for him, but he ends up liking it. Cas notices how Dean relaxes into his hold after a minute or so. Cas doesn't fail to use this knowledge about Dean, coming up with teasing words and methods of ticking to make Dean all squirmy and giggly, taking special notice of how light tickles effect Dean even more than most other touches, using that specially designed soft brush meant to gently clean Cas' delicate computer chips.

Anonymous said: February 17th 2016 I'm joining in on the Android!Cas thing, if not too late. Perhaps Android!Cas has detachable parts, like a foot, and Dean is a jerk and runs off and hides with it all the while tickling it and making fun of Android!Cas's increasingly desperate attempts to get it back.

Y’all, careful deliberate curious determined ‘ler Cas is LIFE. And, reserved confused helpless adorable ‘lee Cas is also life. Detachable and extensible parts are probably key to both of these things.

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Regarding current personal circumstances:

Anonymous said: January 14th 2020 I pray that you’re able to find peace during this difficult time. You are loved more than you will ever know. I know it’s hard to believe, but there will come a time that you are thankful for this experience, because it will have turned you into the person you are truly meant to be. Be strong and be hopeful. Keep your faith and keep knowing that you are going to be okay. Don’t let this dark time destroy the magnificent light inside of you. Sending you so much love

Anonymous said: January 17th 2020 I’m so sorry you’re struggling. Hang in there! We’re all here for you!

Anonymous said: February 11th 2020 all my love, thoughts and prayers are going towards you right now. also wanted to just drop a little thank you note in your inbox for all the light and joy i've found in your fics over the years. im sitting half way through my first year at uni currently but ive been a fan of yours since early highschool and i feel like ive almost grown up with your writing and fanfics in a strange way, so thank you so much for that. sending all my love to you once again- you are so strong x

I love you all so much.