#i have given up feeling guilty when a new project idea takes hold
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Even though I have so many projects I could be working on instead...I recently embraced the inevitable and started thinking, what if I wrote a cozy mystery series set at a summer camp? My writing process is generally: concept -> handwrite rough outline -> type more detailed outline -> write first draft, and I guess you can tell where I'm at on what could become book 1!
(Concept: the main character and first person narrator is a nonbinary camp director who came out relatively recently and moved at least a little way from home to sort of start over. Meanwhile, their friend and co-director of the camp the two of them started recently, is a stereotypical cozy mystery protagonist: she moved back to the former summer camp once run by her grandfather in the town where she spent her summers, and she keeps finding bodies and also romancing the detective. Our narrator ends up detecting too, just to keep their friend out of trouble.)
#my writing#i have given up feeling guilty when a new project idea takes hold#i just ride it out and go back to other projects when the mood strikes#no one is paying me for this; it's just for fun!
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Meh, why not? I'll build up some hype. Here's the full opening scene of Part 3! In which Fawn learns exactly what comes after the birth of a baby.
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Living with the Tariqs, I got to experience what it was like to be around a baby after it was born -- and every pounding headache that came with it.
Suri was a little spitfire as soon as she hit the atmosphere, and if she was unhappy the whole house would know it. The farmhouse wasn't all that big, and the guest room where I slept ended up sharing a wall with the nursery. So, you can bet I got woken up each time her parents did.
Those first couple nights, I would lay there in bed until Ray or Tess could stumble their way down the hall and quiet things down. Yeah, I wasn't very useful. I didn't have much of a choice, though. It was a miracle I could walk myself to the bathroom with how sore I was after Suri squirmed her way out of me.
It wasn't just soreness from the waist-down, either.
Being around a constantly crying newborn had an...unexpected effect on my body. After the birth of my son, aside from a little bit of colostrum, I had never produced breastmilk. I guess hearing Suri cry to be fed every few hours triggered something, because I suddenly had a milk supply with nowhere to go.
Luckily, the Tariqs had a home remedy for everything. A couple of wet washcloths over upturned bowls in the freezer made some conveniently shaped ice packs. Without those puppies, it felt like my breasts were filled with molten lead. So, my hands were occupied most of the day.
I felt guilty, watching either Ray or Tess get up from the couch to tend to their daughter while I was able to sit there with my hands on my boobs and continue watching TV.
I wasn't Suri's parent, but the fact I was the one who got her there made me feel like I had to help out.
Once I started to recover, that's exactly what I did. On a night when Suri refused to stop crying, I got up and poked my head through the cracked nursery door.
Tess was there, looking exhausted and defeated as she held Suri on her shoulder. That baby had been screaming in her ear for at least half an hour. She jumped when she turned and saw me in the doorway.
"Hi, Tess," I said with a sympathetic smile.
"Hey, doll," Tess sighed, continuing to bounce Suri up and down while she paced the room. She spoke a little louder than she needed to, likely 'cause she couldn't hear herself think. "I'm sorry she woke 'ya. I got no idea what 'ta do."
She sounded like she'd given up. This was how she was spending her night, and she'd resigned herself to it.
I thought about waking Ray, but his paternity leave ended in the morning. He had to be up in a few hours for his civil engineering job. Even with what little I knew about salary work, I knew eight weeks of unpaid leave for a brand-new baby was bullshit. Ray would've taken the full twelve weeks, but the city was jumping down his throat about finishing the blueprints for an overpass project on-time. Tess was about to be left alone with a two-month-old for the sake of ten fewer minutes of traffic. That wasn't fair.
"Tess, lemmie take her for a while," I said, walking into the room. "You need a break."
"It's fine," Tess insisted. "She'll calm down...eventually."
I held out my arms. "Tess. Give 'er."
The purple bags under Tess's eyes made her look twice her age, and her pale yellow hair was a rat's nest hanging down her back. She was at her wit's end. "Okay."
Suri weighed almost nothing as I settled her against my shoulder. It still amazed me how small babies were. They seemed so much smaller when you actually got to hold them.
"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked Suri. My ear started to ring as she wailed into it, her cries high-pitched and distressed. I started patting her back like I'd seen her parents do. "What's wrong, baby girl? What's got you so upset?"
Tess collapsed into the glider in the corner of the nursery, her hands rubbing circles into her temples. "I've changed her. I've fed her. I've prayed over her. I've got no idea what my own baby needs!"
"Well, I've got no idea, either," I said, my toes digging into the soft sherpa rug by the crib. I continued patting Suri's back. Her feet were pressing against my chest, as if she were trying to pull herself upright.
"But I'm supposed 'ta know!" Tess whimpered. She ran her fingers through the knots in her hair. "I'm her Mama! Mamas are supposed 'ta know what 'ta do, but I can't even calm her down!"
"You're not a bad Mama, Tess," I said, offering her a smile -- despite the continued screaming in my ear. "Trust me, I know what a-."
The screaming was cut short with a small 'gurk', and I froze when a wet glob of spit-up slithered down my back.
"...think I figured it out..." I said, my smile now pinched.
Suri grumbled, and I carefully held her out in front of me. Her face was still red, but her expression was pure baby bliss -- milky spittle on her chin and all.
"Did you have a tummy ache, baby girl?" I asked. "Is that what was wrong?"
Tess shot up from the glider, sending it bumping into the wall. "Oh, Fawn, I am so sorry!" she said, taking her daughter out of my hands. She took the burp cloth off her shoulder, as if suddenly remembering it was there, and handed it to me. "Here, clean 'yaself up."
"S'alright," I chuckled, cringing as I wiped up the gobby mess. "I've got other shirts. At least I got her to stop crying."
Tess looked down at the baby in the crook of her arm, and then back up at me. "Wanna try a hand at gettin' her 'ta sleep?"
Long story short, that's how I found my new job as the Tariq's live-in babysitter.
Would Y'all Like a Sneak Peak of Part 3 of "The Surrogate's Journey"?
Having a little bit of writer's block/writer's anxiety with this story. I can post the intro scene for those who are interested!
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Genshin: Roommate HCs [V1]
To be honest, I just wanted to ramble some more and let my brainworms take over. This is sorta late but Happy Valentine’s everyone! I was gonna post this earlier but this honestly took me a long time to write so I moved it to today.
Once again, this is 90% crack 10% content. Seriously, as much as I love writing this non-serious fics. Why do you people like this?
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Based off my ramblings with Keqing anon: Link
Genshin: Holding Hands [V1]
Genshin: When you’re cold [V1]
Genshin: University AU [V1]
Genshin: Royalty AU [V1]
[Masterlist]
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[taglist] <- if you want to be added, please read this first.
@youaskedfurret @diaxfeliz @wintergreen-aix @kaechu @thegayrubberducky @lovelykittycatmeow @yuunoagivesmelife @dokidokisama @rokipersonal@minakohasmanyhusbandos @strwbrry-lia @tigerpriestess @yuu-yuukurotsuki @hanniejji @mikeysbike @unionwitch @musekala @sunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @thicmitten @nonniechan @htnicayh @genshins1mpact
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Diluc
What? Diluc has a roommate? Did you blackmail him in living with you? Is that even possible? Did you throw yourself in front of his car because you needed someone to pay for your student loans and the easiest way was to file a lawsuit? In this economy no one would blame you. Diluc seems like such the self-isolated character that would murder his roommate in cold blood but in reality, he act’s detached from the world because he forgot how to socialize and he’s desperately trying to cover it up without choking. That or he’s trying to learn how to astral project. If he could drink away the pain he would but instead he buys 20 packs of grape Kool-Aid and injects it into his veins.
Does not and will not ever have a normal sleeping schedule. You’ll wake up to him working, come back home to him working, and will sleep to him still working. His daily dose of Vitamin D is from the brightness of his screen rather than the sun and he’s filter feeding at this point. It’s concerning. He’s going to crumble and he’s bringing the world down with him. Through the power of tax evasion. But as soon as he needs to walk out into society, he pulls movie magic and looks like perfection. It’s both physically and mentally disgusting.
He’s actually is a really nice roommate to have just so long as you give him space. Great cook and knows to clean up after himself. Though he does have crash and burn days where’s he’s completely out of commission. You could set the entire apartment on fire and he would sleep through it. The entire two weeks are dedicated to zombie eye marathons and then he’ll suddenly collapse and sleep for 46 hours straight. When he wakes up from his hibernation he’s the most groggy and nonsensical person. His life blood is coffee because you keep hiding the 5 hour energy away from him because, you know, life is enjoyable and those cancer bottles will actually kill him.
“University sucks our money out of our bodies faster than our will to live.”
Beidou [Happy Birthday Queen 💕]
Despite her appearance, she’s actually really strong and it scares the piss out of you when you’re doing something or scrolling through your phone mindlessly and you suddenly get your spine re-arranged when she slaps you on the back to ask what you’re doing. Likewise, when she hoists you up and throws you over her shoulder so you come with her on her 3am convivence store raids for alcohol. It’s either you change now or else we’re walking out of the apartment in your t-shirt and no pants self. She can and will carry you under her arm that way. It’s both incredibly attractive and horrifying at the same time.
She’s really friendly and a great talker if you’re alright with her “I must hold you in my arms, fresh prince of bel air style”. It doesn’t matter if you’re taller than her, she’s doing it. She does however, get in a bit of trouble from her rowdiness and you often get noise complaints but Beidou just passes them off to Ningguang and everything is fixed. She has ovaries of steel when neighbors rather confront her personally and she’s ready to 1v1 in the parking lot. You’re trying to desperately hold onto her shirt to stop her from pile driving your neighbors for the third time this week but she’s too strong.
She’s constant party until we die attitude and suffers the hangover in the morning. It’s actually really funny to catch her in her hangover moods because whatever filter Beidou had, which is none, is gone. She really takes “cursing like a sailor” or the next level and the amount of creativity she comes up with is actually impressive. She can be a bit messy but she’s really likeable and always down to go anywhere with you as long as you’ll do the same. It’s a very ride together, we die together situation. You’re my best friend, you’re dying with me. I’ll see you in hell.
“Imma T pose over my dad and then crash the car into the parking garage.”
Kaeya
Kaeya on the surface seems like such a chill roommate. And he is for the most part. But he’s such an ass. Your things are his things, no questions asked. If you just bought a really nice sweater or you had leftover food, that’s his now. He’s innocent until proven guilty even if he’s literally holding your lunch. The pure amount of bullshit he can spit out to convince you that no, he did not pull the fire alarm because he wanted an excuse for not going to work, puts him on Shakespeare level. He’s also very pretty, way too pretty, sir can you share some of your genes?
But aside from that, he’s actually super dependable. You forgot something at home? Sure, he has nothing better to do so he can bring them for you. We’re missing eggs? No problem, he’s just by the store. You’re 95% sure that he just wants to be cheeky and make you thank him for 20 minutes before he actually hands you what you asked for. It’s better for you if you never tell him anything you’re afraid of because Kaeya has no social cues, or more like he throws them out the window, and he’s probably a psychopath.
He’s incredibly private of his room and things despite his attitude towards yours. You’re convinced he either has a secret lab or that’s where he’s storing the bodies. I was the good guy but due to unfortunate circumstances, I need to stab a bitch. But he’s a really good serious talker for those 3am, because everything happens at 3am, talks about life and the meaning of the universe. It absolutely wrecks your sleep schedule but some of the things you talk about are the most crackhead things like what’s the lowest amount of money someone would have to pay you to walk outside without clothes? It’s a legitimate question.
“Never before have I been so offended with something I 100% agree with.”
Jean
Okay, what world did you save in a past life to live with his absolutely wonderful woman? Mother Teresa take a load off, take a seat. You have nothing to worry about. She’ll bring home little treats back home and it’s the most wholesome thing ever?? Is this what love and affection feels like? We’ve been starved for so long. She says it’s not a big deal and anyone would do it BUT THE MOMENT SOMEONE BUYS FOOD FOR YOU. IT’S A MAGICAL MOMENT. They are forever stuck in your will until proven otherwise. An absolute ray of sunshine that must be protected.
She does get super busy so you don’t often see each other or get to hang out as much. She’s a bit of a workaholic but a lot more easier to talk her into taking a break. She’s also a pretty decent cook but she prefers baking and jesus christ, girl can you calm down? Be still my beating heart, I’ve been smitten. Has mother hen vibes that you’re not sure if she’s your roommate or if she adopted you into her family. It’s time to start a petition for the Jean protection squad. Given the opportunity, I would aggressively hold your hand.
She’s always open to whatever you want to do. Any recommendations or things that you like she will try out at least once despite her busy schedule. She’s lowkey lonely because work consumes her so any time you want to hang out or do something together, she jumps on it like she’s feral. She get’s a bit shy to ask if she can join in on your plans because she doesn’t want to bother you or intrude no matter how many times you tell her that’s okay, she still get’s a bit iffy about it. Please save this girl before she trips. In your arms. Platonically. Just kidding haha. Unless?
“I can’t wait to see you happy and not hating everyone again haha.”
Childe
First impressions of Childe were great, until he opened his mouth and you realized how much of a two brain cell child(e) he was. He has two braincells because they constantly have to 1v1 in his brain. He’s lived with a lot of siblings so he has no social awareness or concept of privacy that you’re lucky if you come home and he’s half-dressed. It doesn’t matter if you’re 2 weeks older than him, he’s going to call you 82 years old and why your bones aren’t being fossilized at this point. He’s such a little shit, this fucker licks the yogurt lid peel.
He get’s really restless when he’s stuck under house arrest, because apparently 1v1ing in the parking lot of a Wendy’s is illegal for some reason, so he makes dying whale noises until he get’s to go outside again. But he’s actually a really wholesome guy, probably because of his younger siblings, that he’ll sometimes get you something because you seemed down and it’s such whiplash? Who is this man and where did he come from? You’re starting to have a change of heart before he tells you that he got banned from the library for accidently punching the school’s computer. How you “accidently” punch something you have no idea but Childe always comes home with some sort of injury. Maybe he’s just incredibly clumsy. For your sanity, you’re going to go with that.
He’s actually so uncultured that it’s crippling. You can’t blame him too much considering his upbringing and it’s great that he’s so interested in learning new things but...child no...It makes you want to take your spine out of your ass and rip it like a Beyblade. Watching him take chopsticks and stab his food like it’s marshmallows makes you want to fall into a blackhole and let the chair consume you.
“I, too, fantasize about beating the living shit out of people.”
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Is this another tag yourself game cause I resonate with Diluc. I’m crying in insomnia. As much as I enjoy writing these fics I absolutely hate tagging them. I remember I used to have a tag anon but that was back when I wrote for bnha.
Valentine’s Day was fun tho. I had a drinking game with friends as we played league then ended it off with a movie night.
#genshin#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin imagines#genshin impact imagines#genshin fanfic#genshin impact fanfiction#genshin headcanons#genshin impact headcanons#genshin crack#genshin impact crack#genshin impact childe#childe x reader#genshin childe x reader#genshin impact diluc#diluc x reader#genshin diluc x reader#genshin impact beidou#beidou x reader#genshin beidou x reader#genshin impact jean#genshin jean x reader#jean x reader#genshin impact kaeya#kaeya x reader#genshin kaeya x reader
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So I think that as of S3, Varian is crushing hard on Rapunzel. And in this case, it goes deeper than mere infatuation, given the nature of their relationship and everything that’s transpired between them within the series.
Read on for in-series analysis with screencaps and some bonus post-series fanon speculation!
IN-SERIES ANALYSIS
Before he went villain, I’d say that Varian’s feelings toward Rapunzel were more hero-worship, so he likely thought she was pretty, but undoubtedly out of his league and already taken to boot. No signs of crushing yet—he instead becomes infatuated with the only unattached person who came to visit him: Cassandra.
In my humble opinion, Varian didn’t have a romantic attraction to Rapunzel until it hit him like a bolt of lightning when she told him “It’s your mess, but it’s my kingdom” in Rapunzel’s Return.
Though he was oddly flirty with her while she was in that dungeon cell...
There is also the distinct possibility that the cell was where the first stirrings of a crush began to form during their reconnection. The basis for this theory comes from the absolutely adoring look he gave her when she said “we need him” and how he looked pretty well smitten as she pulled him along.
By the end of the episode Rapunzel frees Quirin, and hoo boy, is that the final nail in Varian’s coffin of feelings. She’d forgiven him his atrocities, kept her word, freed his father—honestly, it’d be weirder if he didn’t fall for her if you ask me.
Then Be Very Afraid rolls along, and we learn that Varian considers Rapunzel “wondrous and magical,” something Rapunzel notes rather slyly and Pascal seems to think is sweet. The look on Varian’s face when she takes his hand and pulls him along again says it all. Boi is smitten.
Additionally...just look at this dork when Rapunzel catches him being a nerd about metals and drinking hot cocoa in Cassandra’s Revenge. This is the reaction of a teenager who just got caught doing something embarrassing by his crush. He zeroes in on Rapunzel specifically and doesn’t seem to care that any of the others caught him.
But through all of these new feelings for Rapunzel, Varian loves Eugene too (90% platonically in this case), so my take is that he’s resolved to not interfere in their relationship. And after everything that’s happened, he likely feels that Eugene is a better match for her and that they truly deserve each other. Though after his stint as a villain where Varian completely lost his respect for the ruling class, the whole “she’s a princess I’m a peasant” thing would likely not be a factor for him anymore. Also, he’s clearly never given a crap about age gaps, and the 4 year gap between him and Rapunzel is even smaller than his canonical S1 crush on Cassandra with an 8 year gap.
Now that we’ve covered the analysis of canonical events, we can delve into pure fanon speculation territory.
POST SERIES SPECULATION
While Varian has indeed resolved to not do a single stupid thing to mess up Rapunzel and Eugene’s relationship, he can’t keep himself from wanting to be close to Rapunzel and craving her affection. Luckily (or unluckily, depending on how you look at it) Rapunzel is a very affectionate person, so she’ll hug Varian, hold his hand, even cuddle him because he’s her precious friend. Also, she’s a pro at giving him the verbal validation that seems to fuel him (aka his love language: words of affirmation).
This results in Varian coming up with excuses and ways to stay close to Rapunzel, and at times when he ends up being sandwich-snuggled between Eugene and Rapunzel (because let’s face it, we’ve seen that Eugene is huggy) he sometimes catches himself trying to pretend Eugene isn’t there, which he instantly feels super guilty about.
Side note: Ruddiger is completely aware of how he feels because Varian is an open book when he’s alone with his little raccoon buddy, and the devious little critter sometimes manipulates situations to try to get Varian alone with Rapunzel or to set them up for what he believes is a romantic encounter (what do you mean being trapped inside a dumpster together isn’t romantic? Intimate dark setting, and all the garbage you can eat!). These setups only work about half the time, and so while Varian appreciates the sentiment, he’d prefer Ruddiger to stay out of it because the failures tend to end with Varian being horribly embarrassed.
And if Rapunzel ever gives him what she views as chaste kisses on the cheek or forehead, Varian’s over the freaking moon and always blushes so hard he almost passes out. Rapunzel finds it cute while Eugene thinks it’s the funniest thing ever and teases Varian he’s gonna have to get over that habit if he ever wants a girlfriend/boyfriend of his own. Whether he’s aware of Varian’s crush or not is up for debate, but he for sure has no idea how deep it runs and thus considers it harmless if he’s aware of it.
Varian probably also frequently gives Rapunzel gifts in order to get her attention and favor in the form of inventions/discoveries he thinks she’ll like. He might even bake her things since we’ve seen he has a knack for it. His favorite thing is if he can get Rapunzel to come work on a project with him, giving him the one-on-one time he craves while doing something he loves.
Also, I think that if anyone were to insult Rapunzel in Varian’s presence, they might find their shoes sticky bombed to the floor. Looking at you, Uncle Monty. Varian might become the second person in Corona to not like him.
Of course, he’s not so obsessed with Rapunzel that he has no life outside of her, since he very much enjoys one-on-one time with both his dad and Eugene (Lance is kind of a 50/50 shot for him, and the girls are like little sisters to him). And of course he spends most of his time in his lab doing alchemy. But he lights up every time Rapunzel enters the room and gravitates towards her, and would do pretty much anything for her.
And for a while, Varian convinces himself that this is fine, and that he doesn’t need Rapunzel to love him back the same way he loves her. Though he feels small flares of jealousy whenever she and Eugene kiss or indulge in other romantic gestures that Varian would never hope or dare to try, but he stomps the jealousy down for the greater good of everyone involved.
The wedding would be super bittersweet for him, since he’d be so happy that his friends have found happiness together, even while knowing that Rapunzel is unquestionably out of his reach now. But that doesn't stop him from continuing to love her. His dad says he’ll get over her one day (his only human confidant, the dude is legendary at keeping secrets), but Varian isn’t so sure.
And from this point, the fanon possibilities are pretty much endless, some of them running the gambit from Varian continuing to respectfully pine for Rapunzel in secret, to him getting over her and finding his own happiness with someone else, to him gradually descending into madness and going just a touch yandere. Depends on what flavor of Varian you’re in the mood for: pining Varian, happy Varian, or villainous Varian. And of course, you can get real fancy and combine different Varian flavors to make something unique!
@varipunzel
#Varipunzel Appreciation Week#varipunzel#varian#rapunzel#tangled the series#rapunzel's tangled adventure#tts#rta#tangled#analysis
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To Be Replaced: Part 2
Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader
Genre: Angst
Word Count: 3.4k
Previous Chapter
For the next few days, every time you see Baekhyun, his face is buried in his phone. He spent the majority of his free time working on his line, setting up meetings with investors, and doing everything he could to make sure his and Maya’s designs were perfect. You were proud of him but also worried about his health. His lack of sleep and self-care concerned you, so you were relieved when you finally got him to agree to having a relaxing day together.
You thought the two of you would spend the day being lazy around the house, binge some shows, and either cook or order takeout. You figured it would be a good way for the two of you to relax together... Of course, you didn’t expect Baekhyun to completely ignore his phone during the day either. He had calls and emails to answer, and you expected that… What you didn’t expect was for him to have his face buried in his phone the entire day.
Finally, you sigh and pause the show he had wanted to watch and ask who he’s texting. You give him a little bit to respond, and when he doesn’t, you turn your body towards him and watch him type away on his phone. You ask a second time, and it’s like he doesn’t even hear you. You weren’t even sure he knew you were in the same room as him at this point.
You turn your head and glance around the room, trying to decide if it was worth it to keep asking or if you should just let it go. Debating, you knew it would bug you for days if you let him get away with ignoring you during the time you were supposed to be spending together, so you know you have to say something.
You turn back to him and poke his cheek, finally getting his attention. “I’ve been talking to you… Who are you texting so furiously?”
“Oh, it’s Maya. There was a problem with one of our fabrics, but she figured it out.”
Ah… That would make sense why he was so invested in his phone. Letting it go, you let him finish what he needs to do and go inspect the food you had in the kitchen. You didn’t really want to cook, and it looks like you didn’t have enough ingredients to make something delicious anyways, so you leave the kitchen and head back to the living room.
“Hey, do you want to get takeout instead? We don’t really have anything to eat.”
Baekhyun pauses mid text and looks over at you with a slightly guilty look on his face. “Didn’t I tell you Maya and I were going to go get dinner?”
You blink a few times, almost sure you were in a sudden state of shock. “No?”
He hums in thought for a moment. “I swore I did… Well, I want to thank her for fixing the fabric mix-up.”
“Wait a minute… You made the plans today? Even though we already had plans together?” you feel annoyance quickly filling you at the thought of him ending your day together halfway through it. Also, he couldn’t remember if he told you something that he literally just decided to do not even five minutes ago?
“I figured you’d be okay with it… We can have dinner tomorrow.” Baekhyun says as he shrugs like it’s not a big deal.
You try not to let it show, but you are hurt by his actions and the lack of care towards your plans… However, you knew this was important to him, so you would let it go, just like everything else.
“…Oh…okay.”
He walks up to you with a smile and gives you a quick peck on the lips. “I’m gonna go get ready for dinner. You should order yourself some food, though. It’s not good to skip meals.”
You silently watch as he walks toward your bedroom with a noticeable spring in his step. Suddenly, you didn’t feel hungry at all, but you pick up your phone and text Sehun to come over for dinner, anyway. Baekhyun was right. You shouldn’t skip meals.
You hang out on the couch and listen to Baekhyun hum as he gets ready. You try to ignore the hurt you were feeling about the sudden change in plans and how happy he seemed at the thought of getting dinner with Maya. Whether to celebrate a fabric mishap or not.
After what feels like forever, you hear the sound of your apartment door opening, and you glance up to see Sehun entering with bags of food. You quickly jump up to help him carry everything, completely used to him walking into your apartment unannounced.
“Thanks for coming over…” you say as you set the bags on your kitchen counter.
“Yeah, it’s no…”
When Sehun trails off, you look up at your friend’s face and see him staring over your shoulder in confusion before he glances back down at you with a questioning gaze. You turn to look at what had caught his attention and see Baekhyun grabbing his keys and wallet from the table before looking around the room to see if he had everything.
It wasn’t his actions that Sehun thought were weird. It was his appearance. Baekhyun was… decked out to put it slightly. He had on an all-black suit with matching dress shoes, and his hair was tousled artfully like you’ve seen on him a million times… He looked like he was going to an award show, not a dinner with a… business partner? …Now, you understood why it had taken him so long to get ready.
“Did you have a schedule today?” Sehun asks in a weird tone.
Baekhyun pauses his actions, finally taking in the fact that Sehun was here and the two of you were standing there watching him.
“No. I just have some business for Prive to attend to.” Baekhyun decides he has everything he needs before coming over to you and giving you a quick kiss on the cheek. “I don’t know when I’ll be home, so don’t stay up and wait for me.”
With those words, Baekhyun quickly takes off towards the front door and leaves without so much as a goodbye to the two of you. You look over at Sehun to see him glancing around the apartment in confusion.
“Am I in the twilight zone? Why does it look like he’s going to MAMA, and what does he mean don’t stay up late? It’s 6 pm. How much work does he have to do?”
You turn away from the apartment door and lean your elbows on the counter with a sigh. “He’s going to dinner with Maya. She apparently fixed a mistake with fabric… I don’t really know to be honest…”
“Okay… but why is he dressed up like that, and why are they going to dinner over fabric? Also, how long does dinner take?”
You take in Sehun’s questioning state. You were curious about all those things too, very curious in fact, but why was Sehun so worked up about it?
“What’s wrong with you?”
Sehun looks at you in surprise. “You’re not curious about all of that?”
“Well, yeah, I am… but you seem even more worried about it than I do.”
Sehun sighs and turns to begin unpacking the food he brought over. “I just… They kept pulling this shit on tour too. Always going to dinner, always staying out late, and working on Prive. You would think this was a project they were launching from the ground, but it’s not. Baekhyun already has all these connections, so why does it seem like they are doing so much?”
You chew on your lower lip as you take in Sehun’s words. Hearing how much time Baekhyun and Maya spent together and knowing Sehun sees it enough to pay attention to it was bothering you, but you didn’t want it to. You didn’t want to question Baekhyun because he had never ever given you a reason to doubt him before. However, you didn’t see the need to go to dinner over something small like fabric being fixed, and you certainly didn’t see why he had to dress so nicely for it.
“They’ve been texting each other constantly… and today, the two of us were supposed to spend time together, but he… Well, you know…” you trail off and indicate everything that just happened with a wave of your arm.
Sehun hums in thought while he searches your face. A moment later, he shakes his head. “She’s harmless. Ignore me. I’m just making something out of nothing. I’ve only ever heard them talk about designs and other fashion crap, so don’t worry about them.” He holds a food container up in front of your face to distract you. “Here, I got your favorite noodles.”
You grab the container from Sehun, but your mind is still with Baekhyun and Maya. You hadn’t realized how much the two communicated, and it surprised you it was enough that Sehun took notice of it. That Sehun was questioning it…
Over the next week, your communication with Baekhyun drops to nearly zero. Usually, when Baekhyun was at work, he was constantly texting you every chance he could, but now it was just short one-word answers he would reply with. When he’s at home, it’s no different. He spends most of his time coming up with designs or being busy on the phone with Maya.
You try not to let it bother you and to be the supportive girlfriend he deserves, but you can’t help it. It definitely bothers you. You couldn’t even remember the last time you and Baekhyun had a conversation that wasn’t interrupted by or about Maya. Not only that, but you were worried about him. It was like he was being consumed by this new line.
You glance towards the second bedroom that Baekhyun had dubbed his office and come up with an idea, or a reattempt at an old idea. Getting up from the couch you were currently sitting on, you make a beeline for Baekhyun’s office and feel grateful that he left the door wide open.
You peek into the room and find the man in question with his head down on his desk. You knew he wasn’t sleeping from the way he was sighing to himself, so you tiptoe until your behind his chair and slowly let your hands fall onto his back. He jumps at the sudden contact but relaxes once he figures out it’s you.
You slowly rub his back until he sits up, and you begin to work on his shoulders. His head falls forward as you give him a much-needed massage.
“Babe… I think it’s time you take a break… You seem exhausted.”
“I’ll do whatever you want as long as you don’t stop what you’re doing.” He mumbles in a daze.
You knead a little harder as you already plot a way for this to be an advantage to you. “Anything I want, huh?”
He lets out a soft laugh once he hears your tone. “Whatever you desire, love.”
“So many things come to mind when you say that… but I already know what I want.”
“What’s that?” he asks lightly. From the sound of his voice, you can tell he’s almost zoned out from the conversation.
“Take the night off from work, and let’s have a little date night at home…”
You feel him tense up, and you know he wants to protest, so you stop him before he can. “Please, Baek… You’ve been working nonstop since you came home from tour. You’ve barely even had time to rest… One night. That’s all I’m asking.”
He sighs before nodding. “You’re right. I need a break…”
He straightens up and turns his chair around to face you. Wrapping his arms around your waist, he rests his chin on your stomach to look up at you. “Plus, I’ve missed you…”
You run a hand softly down the side of his face with a smile. “I’ve missed you too…”
You get Baekhyun to follow you to the kitchen, and the two of you search for a good meal to make. Once you’re both satisfied with what you find, you begin prepping the meal and get ready to cook.
At least, that’s how it started out. In the middle of chopping up some vegetables, you glance over at Baekhyun and see him smiling at his phone. You ignore it the first time, even the third time, but once you notice Baekhyun has completely stopped helping you make dinner and is instead smiling at his phone, your heart drops.
You were sure it wasn’t work because you’ve never seen him smile at his phone for work. You didn’t think it was the EXO group chat or his friends because he never would stay glued to his phone when the two of you were together for them. Which could only mean one thing… He was talking to Maya.
Baekhyun suddenly lets out a loud laugh, startling you and making you knock some carrots to the ground. You sigh and bend down to pick them up, trying to decide if you even want to try to keep his attention right now.
“What’s so funny?”
He looks over at you in confusion before he remembers where he is.
“Maya sent me a pubg meme.” He tells you before waving his hand. “You wouldn’t get it, or else I’d show it to you.”
Feeling your shoulders drop, you bite your lips at his words. Baekhyun loved showing you stupid memes, especially about what he was interested in… Apparently, now he has someone else to share them with?
“I thought you and Maya only talked about fashion stuff?”
He shakes his head and looks back down at his phone. “We talk about everything. We actually have a lot in common. She’s a really cool girl.”
You ignore the twinge his words cause in your heart, but before you can say anything, his next words have you completely shutting down.
“She’s happy you’re making me take a break, and she thinks your little date night idea is cute.”
Your little date night idea… You mentally scoff. Why did the words sound so condescending all of a sudden?
“Right… Do you think you could actually help me with that little date night idea?”
Your eyes fall to the meat he has yet to season, and his own follow your stare. He jumps once he realizes he hasn’t done a single thing to help you and gives you a sheepish smile before muttering a small apology.
The next half an hour is filled with Baekhyun joking with you, filling you in on his past week, and overall, remembering you were still in the room with him. (Yes, you were being bitter.) He did his best to ignore his phone through cooking and even through dinner, but his eyes slid to it every time there was a ding… and there were a lot of dings.
Once it’s time to settle down and watch a movie, you choose a movie that you and Baekhyun had both been wanting to watch and settle down on the couch next to him. You lay your head against his shoulder and begin watching the movie, but it doesn’t take long for you to feel slight movement beneath your head.
You look over at Baekhyun’s other side and see him responding to a text from Maya. You mentally sigh and sit up, putting your focus back on the movie in front of you. Though, now your attention is derailed because you keep seeing Baekhyun texting from the corner of your eye.
“Wow. That was crazy.” You suddenly say, pretending you’re talking about something that happened in the movie. When he doesn’t even hear you, you try again. “I can’t believe the sister did that.”
“Hmm? Oh, yeah.” He mumbles in agreement, even though what you’re saying has no relevance to the movie whatsoever.
Hurt and disbelief flow through you once you realize Maya has somehow come in between your date night again. That Baekhyun couldn’t even give you a couple of hours of his attention…
“Baek…” you wait until he acknowledges you. “Are you even gonna watch this movie?”
He looks up at you and blinks before looking at the tv. “Oh, I already watched this.”
You open and close your mouth a few times in a complete loss of words. What did he mean he already watched this? When? …Why? The two of you talked about watching it together when it came out…
“You’ve already seen it?”
“Mhmm. Maya and I needed a break the other day, and we both wanted to see it, so we watched it… but you can keep watching it. I don’t mind.”
You bite the inside of your cheek and try to keep the anger you feel in check. All you can do is laugh in disbelief and frustration. Of course. Of course, he watched it with her.
After the anger comes the sadness and hurt. The two of you were supposed to watch it together. He wasn’t supposed to go and watch it with someone else… It felt like Baekhyun was totally disregarding your feelings. Not just about the movie, but about everything at this point.
You sit in silence for another ten minutes before you get up. Your interest in the movie or watching Baekhyun continue to text Maya was long gone. You walk away from the couch without a single word to Baekhyun, and if you were honest, you don’t even think he noticed.
You trek into your shared bedroom and immediately start getting yourself ready for bed. You didn’t care how early it was or that you didn’t say anything to Baekhyun. You were just completely done with the day and wanted nothing more than to crawl under your covers and hibernate, so that’s exactly what you do.
You lay there and try to slip into a different reality, but your mind can’t escape from Baekhyun or Maya. It was like you wanted to torture yourself and replay every word and moment over and over again. This goes on for 20 minutes, and the only reason you can escape the continuous hell is because you hear the doorknob to the bedroom door turn.
You hold your breath and open your eyes to see Baekhyun slowly opening the bedroom door. He creeps in, taking in your covered form with a frown.
“Why did you leave?”
“I’m just tired, that’s all.”
He studies your face for a moment before crawling into bed with you. A part of you wants to turn away as a small form of punishment, but the other part of you just wanted attention from your boyfriend.
He wraps his arm around your back and drags your body toward him without any help from you. He pulls you close until your face is buried in his chest, and he brings his chin down on top of your head. You feel him adjust to kiss the top of your head before settling back down again.
“I’m sorry… I should’ve waited to watch the movie with you.”
You sigh. “Baekhyun, it’s not just about the movie… I’ve hardly seen or spoken to you in a week, and your face is always buried in your phone… That’s not okay…”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” He immediately says while squeezing you tight. “I should’ve given you more attention, especially tonight when you tried so hard to give me a relaxing day… Do you forgive me?”
You ignore him because you aren’t entirely sure if you’re ready to forgive him yet, but Baekhyun knew how to always get his way. He nuzzles into your neck, and you feel his lips brush against your skin.
“Do you forgive me?”
“Okay, I’ll forgive you…” you quickly relent before he goes for a ticklish area, though the words seem meaningless at the moment.
You feel him smirk against your skin before he suggestively says, “Good… because you can have all of my attention right now if you want…”
“Baek…” you whine, definitely not wanting to give in with how he’s been acting lately.
He pushes you onto your back and crawls on top of you, pushing his legs in between yours. “Let me make it up to you, baby…”
Tagging: @gyukult @marovekian1 @making-me-blush @softforqiankun @sebootyforlife @nothingbutadeadesceane @cardtak @brie02 @jungkooksworld18 @insta1010 @suhappysuho @purple-bell @sorrowinblood @softysuho
#to be replaced#baekhyun fic#baekhyun fanfic#baekhyun scenario#baekhyun series#baekhyun angst#baekhyun au#byun baekhyun fanfic#byun baekhyun scenario#byun baekhyun au#byun baekhyun angst#byun baekhyun series#byun baekhyun fic#exo fanfic#exo fic#exo fic rec#exo fanfiction#exo fics#exo scenarios#exo scenario#exo series#exo au#exo angst#exo au scenarios#exo au series
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Empress of the Heart (Pt. 2)
Synopsis / Request: “Reader is an actress, and she meets Jennie at an event. They have a one night stand afterward, and months later they meet again.”
Pairing: Jennie x Fem!Actress!Reader
Warnings / Misc: Smut (only in Pt. 1), Angst, Fluff
Here’s the second half of the request for you lovely peeps! Enjoy :)
Part 1
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
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"Y/N, more people are arriving and management wants us to greet them. Something about photo ops." Jackson, your fellow lead, says as he pokes his head into your dressing room. His entrance intruded on your thoughts of the beautiful brunette that effectively stole your heart away within a night, leaving you completely at her mercy despite being worlds away.
"Alright, just give me a second." He nods and goes to stand outside your door -- you're expected to be seen together for a good portion of the night. Thankfully, though, Jackson is a good guy; he cares a lot about you, always doing everything in his power to keep you happy. The feeling is mutual; it's nice to have someone in your corner in an industry as unforgiving as this one.
"Ready?" You ask, opening the door after you've checked yourself in the mirror and smoothed down any unruly hairs or clothing. Looking presentable is a must tonight -- you can't appear as wistful as you've been feeling lately.
"Sure am." His answer is a bit unnecessary, seeing as how you asked a rhetorical question, but you send him a smile nonetheless. He offers you an arm, and soon the two of you are walking back towards the entrance of the building.
--------
Waves of flashing cameras greet you for the second time tonight, now capturing you in your full glammed-out look. The first time had been a few hours ago when your team arrived to begin setting up and get all of you ready.
The entire cast now stands stretched out in front of the large screen that will air the movie later, your arms around each other as you smile for the cameras. Promotional pictures shine behind you on the screen, serving as a perfect backdrop as they cycle through their predetermined slideshow.
Eventually, you all disperse to greet some guests.
"Thank you for coming, Mr. Choi. It's wonderful seeing you again."
"I hope you enjoy our performances, Mrs. Lee. Your support has meant the world to us."
"Ah, Jeong! How've you been?"
Countless faces pass by as you work hard to greet everyone, knowing full well your company will be upset if you slack off now. It's everyone's big night, so they obviously can't have their leading lady stopping for even a minute.
You're almost ready to run to the restroom in order to have a moment to yourself, free of prying eyes and judgemental stares; but what you hear next sends a chill down your spine, an all too familiar ache in your chest.
It's Jennie. She's laughing that wonderful laugh of hers, taking you back in time to when you first heard it. Her members must've said something really hilarious, because all of them are doubled over, clutching their stomachs with laughter.
"Hey again," Jackson greets, and for a second you almost want to tell him to leave you alone. You don't, though, knowing you have no right to pull something like that.
"YG's girl group just got here. Do you want to say hello?" Of course you do. You want to run into Jennie's arms and spin her around, reveling in the way her arms would surely wrap around you in that warm embrace that's so uniquely hers. You want to tell her a stupid joke to make her laugh again, like she had just a few moments ago. You want to talk to her.
But you don't.
"No, not right now. I'm going to visit with my family, if that's alright with you."
"Sure, sure." He says considerately, unwrapping his arm from you. You press a friendly kiss to his cheek as a thank you, letting it serve as a goodbye as well.
"Eomma!" You shout, squeezing through the crowd when you spot her at one of the banquet tables lining the front of the room. The rest of the space is filled with rows of chairs, already set out for when the movie premieres.
"Ah, baby girl. We're so proud of you." She says, holding you in a tight embrace as tears spill from her eyes. Her arms bring you comfort like no other, and you're beyond grateful to have her here tonight. Some of your friends stand behind her, too, waiting for their turn to say hello.
Jennie watches you interact with them from across the room, and she feels a pang of sadness run through her. She's not naive to how these things work: your other cast mates had come over to greet her and girls, snapping pictures and even starting meaningful conversations in some cases -- all of that meaning you had been given the opportunity to do the same, but turned it down. Do you not want to see her? Maybe she had misjudged your night together. You are an actress, after all.
She shakes her head, physically willing the thoughts to go away as she turns her focus to whatever new person was talking to them now. She continues stealing glances in your direction, finding you looking somewhere else every time. She'd give just about anything to have you look at her, if only for a moment. Just a glance, she thinks to herself, praying the universe hears her pleas. They seem to fall on deaf ears, though, because before she knows it the MC is calling all of you onto stage and the guests are directed to their seats.
"Let's welcome the cast of Empress of the Heart!" The MC says cheerily, tucking his notecard underneath his arm in order to clap along with the audience. "They've spent months working hard for this project, travelling to filming locations in different countries, learning new languages, and facing their fears. We hope all of you thoroughly enjoy their performances. Now, I'll hand it over to our leads."
You and Jackson bow towards the audience, waving at them politely as they applaud you again. He looks at you, a silent question of if you want to speak first, and you nod. Taking the mic from him, you say, "Firstly, I'd like to thank our incredible cast and crew. They played just as important a role in this movie as Jackson and I, and we're endlessly grateful for their hard work." More cheers ring out at your kind hearted show of appreciation, and you speak up again once they've died down.
"These past few months have been some of the best of my life, and I owe that to people like you, and my fans. Thank you for taking a chance on me and supporting me. From the bottom of my heart, thank you." You say sincerely, looking into the camera that's recording all of this for exclusive content. When the movie drops for the public in a couple weeks, they'll be able to buy this tape as well and see highlights from the premiere. The thought of your fans watching it from the comfort of their own homes, yelling praises at their screens, makes you smile.
Jackson takes over now, smoothly transitioning into his own mini speech of thanks. You stop your eyes from meeting the one pair that they so desperately want to, always keeping them trained on other parts of the crowd. If you allow your resolve to crumble, you'll get lost in her all over again and potentially screw up one of the biggest nights of your life. You can't take a risk like that.
You laugh at something Jackson says, some joke about how you had to face your fear of heights for a scene in the movie, and Jennie takes a deep breath. She's not exactly jealous, but yet that's precisely the feeling that creeps its way into her chest. She knows that you're avoiding her for some reason, but she has no idea why. Did she do something wrong?
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Why, why, did they have to sit Blackpink in the row right behind you? It's karmic, the universe's way of pushing you back to each other, but you don't know how to feel about it all. You can feel her eyes boring into you as each new scene plays, silently begging for you to turn around and talk to her, even if it's impolite to do so in the middle of a movie.
You don't, though, fighting every fiber of your being to keep yourself from giving in.
Despite the emotions that swirl within her that pay little mind to the number they're doing on her heart, she actually finds herself enjoying parts of the movie. It's bittersweet, seeing you up there, but you command the screen in a way that seems to steal all coherent thoughts from her brain. You're truly skilled, and she gets a kick out of watching you hide behind your hands in embarrassment when your co-stars offer whispered praises.
During one scene in particular, though, Jennie's eyes drop to the floor, her teeth clenched together tightly. Your character just saved Jackson's from certain doom, and the two of you are sharing a long-overdue kiss. The rest of the crowd lets out approving noises at this, but Jennie is comforted by her members' soft smiles and reassuring touches. You feel guilty, for some reason, knowing that anything you were a part of made Jennie so upset. It shouldn't matter, though -- I mean, it's not like you and Jackson are actually together -- but still, it hurts Jennie to see him kiss you and hold you in the ways she wants to.
The rest of the night carries on much the same, but later on, once you get enough courage to look for Jennie, she's gone. The other girls are too, and a sinking feeling settles in your chest. Gone -- again -- just like all that time ago. Your reasons for staying away from her were legitimate, but they felt nothing of the sort as you glanced around the crowd again.
The movie ended earlier, already getting good marks and reviews from the critics who came to view it, and now the "afterparty" of sorts was kicking in. You hadn't expected the girls to stay long after the movie, but you'd at least hoped to utter a word to them, if nothing else. A smile would've sufficed.
Realizing she's really gone, you let out a sad sigh and make your way down the hall, towards the large doors that lead to the balcony. If anything can clear your mind right now, surely it's a chilly breeze.
You lay an arm against the sturdy railing, leaning on it as you massage your neck. All of the stress you've been put under is showing in the form of painful knots, far too many to get rid of in one go. You sigh, letting your head lull forward and lay against your arm.
"And here I was thinking I wouldn't see you again."
At the utterance, you turn around to find her leaned up against the stone wall of the building with a playful smirk on her lips. She's back to her old self in an instant, but you can sense the undertones of nervousness in her voice.
The darkness of the night that envelops you two makes her eyes look even more feline -- even more alluring -- and it takes everything in you not to lose your train of thought.
"Jennie." Her name comes out as a pleased declaration more than anything else, a familiar flutter taking over your heart at the sight of her. It's a warm feeling in your chest, and you never want it to go away.
You try not to focus on the sensual swaying of her hips or the teasing look in her eye as she pushes herself away from the wall to approach you.
"I thought you left." You breathe out, remembering how sad you were earlier.
"Without getting you alone first? How could I?" The implication behind her words gives you pause, causing a blush to begin forming on your cheeks. You curse yourself for being so easy.
"I've missed you like crazy," she confesses, allowing herself to be vulnerable again. Now in front of you, she brushes the back of her fingertips against your cheek as you look into her eyes.
"I've missed you, too -- more, probably," you say, the declaration sounding like an embarrassed sigh as it leaves your lips. She smiles at that -- her genuine, gummy smile that you've missed so much -- and your heart flutters again.
She debates on asking the question that sits on the tip of her tongue, waiting to be answered. "Why didn't you greet me before, at the party?" Her voice is small now, insecure, as she avoids your gaze and stills her movements.
"I-..." you start, finding yourself at a loss for words. Should you tell her how you feel?
"I was afraid you'd throw me off my game. You're pretty distracting, you know?" You reply, nudging her shoulder playfully. A hint of a smile tugs at her cheeks, unsure if it should finish the job and turn into a big one.
"I thought I did something wrong." She informs.
"Not at all. In fact, you did things a little too right, if you ask me. I can't stay away from you, Jennie." Her heart trips and stumbles over itself in its pursuit of gaining a steady rhythm again, thrown off course by your words.
Growing brave, she suggests, "Go on a date with me, then. I wanna have more nights like that with you." She whispers that last part, ghosting her fingertips over your skin to awaken the memories.
"I'd like that," you smile, leaning in to kiss her lips. It's soft and gentle, much like your first one, and your heart hammers in your chest. It seems to forget that you've done this before, choosing instead to subject you to the giddiness you felt that first time with her.
She pulls back to rest her forehead against yours, settling her arms around your waist, saying, "I've wanted to do that all night." You smile for the millionth time because of her, happy with how things have turned out.
"Do it again, then."
And she does.
#jennie kim#jennie x reader#jennie x fem reader#jennie kim x fem reader#blackpink#blackpink angst#blackpink smut#blackpink fluff#blackpink oneshots#blackpink imagines#blackpink scenarios#kpop#kpop girl group#kim jisoo#lisa manoban#rosé#park chaeyoung#let-them-read-fics
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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬 : 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐍𝐢𝐧𝐞 - 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝
Summary: Everyone goes through stages in life, meeting new people, falling in love, getting married , having children. Some people think it won’t happen to them but maybe fate hadn’t lead you in the right direction.
Warnings: COMPLETE FLUFF , mentions of anxiety , mostly fluff an some swear words
Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader
PREVIOUS STAGE | THE STAGES MASTERLIST
AUTHORS NOTE: Holy crap!! we have made it to the end of another series!! what?! I have enjoyed writing this series so much, it was an idea that sat in the brain for a while and I can’t thank you enough for reading and enjoying it. I can’t believe I have finished this and I just hope you have enjoyed. Thank you all again. xo.
THIRTY EIGHT WEEKS.
As the alarm clock beside you blared in your ear you reached over, hitting it off and rolled over to face your husband. Groaning you opened your eyes as you felt the bed shift with his weight. Watching his back as he made his way to the closet you sighed “do you really have to go?” you asked as you tried to sit up slowly with your swollen belly. He sighed, “Yes baby, I’m sorry it’s just a quick meeting before the few weeks we take off” he said as he laid his pants out on the end of the bed with his suit, you smiled as he smiled at you from the end of the bed “i’m gonna shower alright?” he asked as you nodded slowly “yeah, I’ll go down and iron your pants” you said as you slowly made your way out of bed. Smiling Chris made his way to you as he placed his hands on your stomach with a grin, “hi little one” he smiled kissing your stomach gently as you giggled, looking up at you through his lashes he raised his eyebrows “no matter how much you do that, your beard always tickled me” you smiled as he laughed and made his way to the bathroom.
Making your way slowly downstairs, groaning, being pregnant you were guilty of becoming clingy to Chris. Before you were completely okay with the weird schedule that came with his life but as you have progressed and as the hormones have become more powerful you couldn’t be away from him. Chris was heading out for a few days to help with his projects and you weren’t able to travel as your due date was quickly approaching. Getting everything out you began to iron his suit pants as he showered upstairs. As you hung the pants up on the hanger with his top and his tie, Chris made his way out of the bathroom, towel around his waist, dangerously low. You turned as you made eye contact with him as you knew you wouldn’t let him go if you kept the eye contact. “I know you don’t want me to go” he whispered as he wrapped his arms around you from behind “I promise it won't be that long, plus mom is gonna stay a few nights with you incase you go into labor” he rubbing soothing circles with his thumbs on your stomach. You nodded as you rested your hands on his “I know I just don’t know what's happening” you admitted as he grinned “it’s just the little one making you feel your feelings more intensely” he kissed your temple and made his way to get dressed.
Sitting on the couch you waited for Chris. You began to pet dodgers head as it laid in your lap as you sat back and waited. Sitting up, Dodger made his way to Chris at the end of the steps with a happy bark which soon changed, noticing the bag at his side. Slowly you made your way to your feet as you walked to him at the door. “I love you okay?” he smiled as you nodded, you felt the tears pricking your eyes as you took a deep breath. “I love you too babe” you smiled back at him as he leaned down to your belly, “Do not even think of coming while I’m gone” he grinned as you giggled at the kick, “I think I felt an okay dad in there” you smiled as he stood and kissed the top of your head. You followed him to the door as you stood on the porch and saw him off, hand on your stomach, turning to you you smiled and waved to him as he went to get in the car he blew a kiss to you, in which you caught and held to your chest. Making your way inside you shut the door with a deep breath, wiping your cheeks, You felt like a child crying as he was gone, “god damn hormones” you whispered as you sat down on the couch with dodger and began the waiting game, for three days.
Falling asleep on the couch you groaned as you adjusted and noticed a blanket and a cup of water on the table, furrowing your eyebrows you sat up, looking around the house you noticed the light on in the kitchen. Getting up slowly you grabbed the candle sitting on the living room coffee table, making your way to the kitchen you were met with your mother in law, making soup at the stove. “Holy shit” you whispered “hey!” Lisa replied quickly “don’t scare a pregnant woman! You startled me!” you laughed, hand on your chest as she smiled. Making your way to the stove you gave a small side hug “hi ma, how are you?” you asked as she smiled “I wanted you to eat, Chris called form the airport and said you weren’t taking him leaving well” you sighed as you finally made your way to sit down at the table and nodded “I didn’t”. She turned to you with the bowl of soup and crackers, “what's going on?” she asked as she set the bowl in front of you and a bowl down for herself. “I think I’m nervous I will go into labor while he’s gone?” you questioned as you turned to face her “I of course missed him when he had to leave before but I feel, worse this time” you looked at her as she nodded “well honey, your hormones too are much higher but it’s completely normal to feel that way, he’s gonna be gone out of the area its okay!” she took your hand gently “I’m here for you the next few days and I won't let that baby out if it kills me” you laughed as you smiled and squeezed her hand gently.
The three days Chris was gone was hard for you. Your anxiety was higher than ever as you worried the baby would come before he made it home, You couldn’t think of having the baby without him. You heard the door open from the end of the steps as you smiled, waddling your way down the steps you smiled as he looked at you. “There’s my precious cargo” he smiled as you wrapped your arms around his neck “hey what about me?” you asked, as he shrugged “eh you work too” you laughed as you kissed his lips gently. “You have a good trip?” you asked as he nodded as you took his bag and made your way upstairs slowly, “Yeah! It was boring but it was great! I enjoyed it alot” you smiled at his reply and nodded. Sorting his bag out you tossed what belonged in the laundry in the bin and took care of what was clean. “Did Ma staying help you?” he asked as he climbed into the bed, sweatpants and hoodie in tow, his slippers on. You nodded eagerly as you joined him in bed “yes I appreciate her staying with me” you smiled as you climbed into his side, laying your head on his chest. “Good” he whispered as he traced shapes on your back slowly, the tv playing lowly “I’m glad the baby listened” he smiled as you nodded “Me too” you giggled nuzzling closer into his chest wrapping your arms around his waist.
THIRTY NINE WEEKS.
With your due date a week in sight Chris was not letting you do anything. You attempted to do laundry, couldn’t. You would attempt to do dishes, make dinner, Chris would not let you leave the sights of the bedroom or the living room, It didn’t help Dodger was in on this as well and wouldn’t let you leave his sights either. You covered yourself with the comforter as Chris made his way around the corner, carrying a tray, “what's this?” you smiled as dodger had joined you shortly after. “Well, I brought us cocoa, and some snacks and I thought we could watch a movie!” he grinned as you smiled widely, you nodded as you took the mug “that’s a wonderful idea baby” you smiled “you’re picking the movie” you sat back as you sipped the cocoa. Making himself comfortable Chris chose the movie, as you made yourself comfortable in his side you smiled. As you were comfortable you stopped and looked at him, as he took in your face he furrowed his eyebrows “what’s wrong baby?” he asked as you set your mug down “uh not to alarm you but I think my water just broke”.
As soon as your water broke Chris was in full super husband/dad mode. You didn’t have a chance to even help grab the hospital bag you two had packed. “Okay buddy you hold down the fort, when we come back you will have your new little friend!” Chris yelled as he closed the door behind him and helped you down the steps and into the car, as you continued your breathing exercises given to you in class. Holding your hand as he sped off to the hospital Chris continued his breathing “I’m the one having the baby” you laughed as you gripped his hand “I know but shit i’m nervous” he groaned as the light turned red. “Are you okay?!” he asked as he turned to you as you nodded “yes yes I’m okay I-” you cut yourself off as the contraction hit. Making it to the hospital Chris carried you to the doors where nurses got you a wheelchair and before you knew it you were in a room and in a gown, your husband beside you.
After a thirty six hour labor and Chris almost passing out in the delivery room with you. You sat in the bed, sore and slightly sedated as you were handed the little baby in the pink blanket. You couldn’t help but coo as the nurse set her in your arms, smiling as you adjusted the blanket for her little hand to soon grab hold of your fingers. “Hi little one” you whispered as she soon opened her eyes and blue little orbs met yours. Soon you felt a presence beside you and felt Chris’s hand on your hair, stroking it slowly “can you believe we made that?” he asked as you smiled looking at him to see the tears falling down his cheeks gently, reaching out you gently wiped his cheeks and whispered “We did make her” you smiled “I can’t believe it”. “Here let me take her” he whispered, “you need to rest” you smiled as you handed her to Chris. “Hi there little one, Hi Violet” he whispered to her as he sat down in the chair and continued to make faces at his little girl.
You laid in the bed as you listened to him talk to your little girl, if someone asked you almost five years ago if this was where you’d be, married happily with a baby, you would’ve laughed at them. You didn’t think you would ever find a man worth your time, worth the energy to put in, yet in the bar that night, he met you unexpectedly, you had no idea a plate of cheese fries and a slice of pizza would find you the love of your life, nor did you think it would bring you this. You couldn’t help but thank that plate of cheese fries for what it’s brought you. A plate of cheese fries bringing you through the stages of life, stages you never anticipated to happen for you.
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#Chris Evans#christopher robert evans#chris evans fanfic#christopher evans#chris evans fanfiction#chris evans x reader#chris evans x you#chris evans x y/n#chris evans story#chris evans fic#chris evans fluff#chris evans fluffy
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Hi I love your blog and your writing. I don't know if your doing request or not, so if you aren't just ignore me. But could you possibly have a hc where MC breaks a body part and had to be in a cast how would the brothers (+undateables if you have time) would react?
Oh but this is soft tho, I love writing fluff, thank you so much for the request! 💜
Lucifer
MC had been with him when it happened, and it’s something he’ll never forgive himself for. He forgets how fragile humans are and how anything can hurt them. Anything! He had prepared for monsters, demons, curses, spells, poisons, but he never thought he needed to protect them from stairs!
He was walking beside them as they both started to walk home from RAD, talking to them about an upcoming project. It was dark and rainy, and it bothered him none as he started to descend the slick stone steps. He was just about to warn them about their step when they stumbled down the stairs, hands extended to try to catch themselves, hitting each step with an awful sound before resting on even flooring with a groan.
He freaked out so badly, he called MC by five different wrong names before he finally got it right just as he reached their side. They were alive. Great. They were breathing. Fantastic. They...they had their right wrist bent in the wrong direction.
MC was fairly certain he didn’t even breathe or blink at all as he flew them towards the Devildom’s version of a hospital. He kicked the doors open, demanding MC got looked at, ignoring all of MC’s pleas to wait like everyone else. The poor doctor was not prepared for all of Lucifer’s commands and questions.
MC is not allowed to walk, not allowed to go to class, not even allowed to leave their room for a while. He’s so worried something will happen. He doesn’t even want them to sleep without him there first. His brothers are only allowed to come see MC one by one, following a strict schedule he posted outside MC’s door. Anyone found breaking the schedule will be severely punished.
Is he overreacting severely? Yes. But does MC appreciate his affection? Yes. He’ll hold them close whenever their wrist hurts, petting their head and shushing them if they ever cry. He’ll do all his work for Diavolo in their bedroom, making sure to glance up in frequent intervals and check how they’re doing. He’ll watch over them so intently he’ll end up accidentally falling asleep in the chair by their bed, head resting on his folded arms.
Even after it’s healed, he insists on holding MC’s hand whenever they walk to make sure it won’t happen again. He’ll also pick them up now whenever it rains. He can’t afford anymore unnecessary risks.
Mammon
He brought MC along on another one of his poor-planned money making schemes. He wanted to show off and impress them, and MC only agreed to go along to try to make sure he didn’t get himself in too much trouble. Try being the key word here.
It ended up being super sketchy, causing both MC and Mammon to run away from angry demons. Since Mammon is impossibly fast, he held onto MC’s hand to try to keep them together. However, even if MC ended up being an Olympic runner, they still wouldn’t have been able to keep up with his speed. So, they lost their footing and fell hard against the ground. There was a rough popping noise, but Mammon got them right back on their feet. It wasn’t until they finally got home before Mammon realized that not only were they scratched up, but their shoulder...didn’t look right.
He thought maybe he could fix it himself, which was the opposite of what he should’ve done. Now, not only did it look even worse, but MC’s expression of pain caused Mammon to panic like he never had before. He held onto them tight, much too tight, and MC was almost certain he’d end up passing out before they did.
He got a doctor right away, and while they were getting checked, Lucifer and Mammon were fighting worse than they had in a long time. Mammon had hardly fought this much for anything-or anyone-before. The only reason why Lucifer let him off the hook for something this severe is because it’s been too long since he’s seen Mammon so serious.
Mammon won't leave their side, but he doesn’t feel like he deserves to be near them either, so he’ll spend time pacing by their door for hours before MC tells him to quit. They tell him he doesn’t need to feel so guilty, it was an accident, stupid stuff like this happens to humans all the time. He’ll kneel on the floor by their bed, head against their leg, looking like a scolded puppy. It’s the first time they’ve seen him cry.
It’s not everyday Mammon will do whatever they want. Even if it’s not perfect, even if he messes up, he wants to get MC whatever they want or need.
After they’re fully healed, Mammon will still check their shoulder every day, and Lucifer doesn’t complain when Mammon tones down some of his schemes for the sake of MC’s safety.
Levi
He signed both himself and MC up for this awesome parkour class. He had seen an ad for it and wanted to go, only because he wanted to learn some cool moves that he had seen in an anime. Of course, this was a demon class, so already they had the students doing crazy things like jumping roof to roof and doing flips that would take years for MC to do properly. Unfortunately, they tried it out anyway, not wanting to wimp out of it.
Next thing they knew, they heard Levi scream as one of their legs gave out on them, unable to support their landing. He was by their side, already in tears, shouting incomprehensible words as he called for help on his D.D.D. Not only did one of the brothers have to carry MC home, they had to carry out Levi as well, his brain fried at the sight of their broken leg.
He blames himself hard, having to catch his breath anytime he sees MC in their cast. He had no idea human’s bodies were so brittle, they never seemed so weak in anime. They were always fighting, overcoming impossible feats. He was so lost in the world of fantasy he didn’t know real life was so...frightening. It was a reality check he really needed, he appears to treat MC more authentically now.
He’ll make sure MC is fully entertained while they’re on the mend, it's the least he can do. Most of his setup is now in their room so they can play games with him and watch shows together. He’ll talk their ear off about his favorite plots, and promise to MC that they’d get better and he would protect them, just like his precious characters.
MC now has little drawings on their cast thanks to him, to liven it up a bit. Covered in chibis and little hearts.
He’s used to not getting much sleep, so he’ll watch MC as they rest, watching their chest rise and fall, making sure he keeps an eye on their leg. They’re not allowed to move it much, so he keeps tabs on how much they toss and turn, sometimes holding MC in his arms while they sleep to make sure they don’t move.
Even when they’re better he is always wary about them leaving the house. He should’ve never broken his rule, home is always safe, and now he can’t relax until he knows MC is safely home.
Satan
He was always afraid of hurting MC due to his wrath, but he never knew that they could so easily be broken. He hadn’t even intended to hurt them, he didn’t! He just...he was angry, he didn’t want them to come into his room, but they insisted, they wouldn’t listen! Now look what he had done to them...
He had slammed the door on them while their finger still lingered in the door-frame, he had no idea...he didn’t know something as simple as shutting a door would hurt them so. They both heard a sharp crack, Satan originally believed it had been part of the door, the wood breaking. Until he heard MC’s shriek of pain. He opened the door back up to see their finger bent backwards where the door had shut on it.
After he had tore the door off its hinges and resolved it to splinters, he ushered MC quickly out of the house to get their finger checked. His other brothers had to quickly come at MC’s request to keep Satan from harming the medical staff when told they had to wait to get checked. It took him far too long to calm down, having to be physically restrained by Lucifer and Mammon until he cooled off.
MC’s broken finger had been on their dominant hand, so Satan did all the writing for them. MC never asked him to, he did it anyway. He felt like it was the bare minimum of redemption. He made sure to read up more on the skeletal structure humans possessed, and MC is pleased to find that they had never seen Satan be so gentle with them. He softly strokes their hand, has a hard time now raising his voice above a whisper around them, and MC swears he now has painkillers in his pocket at all times for whenever they need it.
Satan takes after Lucifer in being much too prideful for simple apologies, he’s hardly wrong in the first place, but he said it to them once they drifted off to sleep, head in his lap. He didn’t move from his spot all night.
Healed wounds meant nothing, Satan refused to treat MC any differently from his delicate and precious books.
Asmo
Trust him, he would have never given MC those ridiculously high heeled shoes had he known that humans were so clumsy and fragile. The heel of the shoe was so tall, whoever wore them might as well be walking on the very tips of their toes. They were a new fashion, and since he adored his adorable MC so much, he got them a pair.
The last thing he expected was to have them fall so dramatically after a single step. At first he planned on giving them props for their fall, it was like a movie scene, but then he saw how their ankle looked. Twisted and limp, MC started to hyperventilate.
He had seen some pretty disgusting positions the human body could get into, but this was wrong, it shouldn’t be like that. He had never been so serious or flown so fast before. He didn’t even say a word until they were in bed, getting some medication for the pain. He grasped onto MC’s hand and apologized repeatedly until MC was convinced he had lost his voice.
After they’ve been taken care of, he refuses to let go of them, cuddling them pampering them. He didn’t know just a simple misstep in the wrong shoes and they could just hurt themselves like that! He thought himself a master of the body, but he still had much to learn about humans, it seemed.
He calls himself Nurse Asmo for weeks, not leaving MC’s side, carting them around in a wheelchair even if they insist on using crutches or moving around themselves. He’ll have none of it. He feels responsible and so MC is under his constant care until their body is just as beautiful and whole as he remembers. He’ll want to make sure he takes care of them so well, their body will have no choice but to heal faster.
He’ll not forgive himself for allowing MC’s perfect body to get like that again. He’ll never let MC even look at high heel shoes, he knows plenty of adorable flats that would look great on them.
Beel
He’s always extra careful around MC, he knows they’re fragile, he’s well aware of the difference between strengths. Anytime he’s around them, he does whatever is necessary to make sure they’re safe at all times. Unfortunately, no matter how protective he is, sometimes accidents happen, especially when humans and demons mix.
He and Mammon were fighting over food, special food, limited edition flavor chips, and Mammon had stolen it. He didn’t even eat it, he sold it. It was an insult. They both were in demon form, battling it out, Lucifer trying to stop it, by force it would seem. They were all so consumed in combat, power flinging, furniture flying, they had no idea MC had walked in the room to check on the chaos, only to get caught up in it. A large cabinet headed in their direction, and if they hadn’t stepped back, they might have gotten fully crushed. Unfortunately, their foot ended up being crushed in their place.
Beel felt sick to his stomach, hearing the sound of the bone crack made his insides feel all twisted in a way he and his iron stomach hadn’t felt in centuries. The fighting immediately came to a close, the food they were fighting over seemed worthless to him now, for once he couldn’t care less. He refused to let any of his other brothers touch MC. In fact he almost didn’t want to touch them himself. He had such a hard time holding them, he ended up physically shaking, worried that he’d hurt MC even further. He doesn’t want to let them go, though, he holds onto them for an entire day, acting like MC’s personal shield.
Beel skips classes, workouts, even his team practices to be with MC. MC is absolutely not allowed to move by themselves, he’s going to carry them wherever they need to go if they must go somewhere. Until they’re fully healed, all the meals are going to be MC’s favorite foods. None of the brothers get a say otherwise, but no one is going to defy Beel over this anyway.
MC never sees him fight with any of his brothers again, not with them around anyway, and if they thought Beel was already super protective, they weren’t ready for their new unofficial bodyguard.
Belphie
Honestly, he was bewildered how MC hadn’t died yet--well, other than that--in the Devildom. Lilith had loved humans, and, he in the past, had loved them too, so he knew how weak they could be. However, MC had just...tripped...on their own feet, falling right onto their own face. He laughed at first, he will admit, he had no idea how hurt MC was. When they stumbled back onto their own feet, their face and chest was covered in blood.
He was frozen for a good few minutes, his mind buzzing, his heart pounding out of his chest. He kept getting flashbacks of that terrible moment in the attic, and it was only until MC grabbed his arm, disoriented and in pain, that he was able to move again. They gasped his name to snap him out of it. They weren’t flinching away from him, they didn’t look afraid of him, in fact they were leaning into him, looking for his comfort.
He got them home as quick as he could, making sure MC didn’t have any more fumbles on the way. Obviously once they saw the state MC was in, all the other brothers were freaking out as well. Mammon accused Belphie of doing something to them again--it was taking Mammon the longest to forgive him-- which didn’t make Belphie feel better about it. Normally he would’ve just fought Mammon then and there for such an accusation, after all the things his older brother had dragged MC into, but he didn’t have the energy. MC needed to be taken care of now.
He did feel guilty, even if he didn’t want to admit it. Once the doctor came, he left the room, getting some air. He would wait until after MC was asleep to come check on them and make sure they were okay. He would make sure that MC’s pillow was fluffed, that they were comfortable, and then he’d fall asleep at MC’s feet at the end of their bed. He’d wake up at the slightest movement, checking over their body and face for who knows how many times now.
While they were deep in a dream, he took a permanent marker and drew little cow spots on their bandage. It was a silly gesture, he was well aware, but even having a small piece of matching patterns made his heart happy.
He won’t say it but he’s so glad when they’re finally healed. MC notices a sharp increase in his energy levels as he asks them to do plenty of activities together. He hardly ever wants to do something with them besides nap.
He’ll be prepared to catch MC if they ever trip again. He won’t let them be hurt ever again. Period.
Diavolo
He wasn’t there when it happened to MC, but Lucifer relayed the information to him as soon as possible. He didn’t freak out, at least, not in the way people would expect. It is rather unlike the Lord of the Devildom, however, to drop all his work, cancel all his meetings, and quickly make his way over to the House of Lamentation.
He excuses MC from classes immediately, making sure staying safe and healthy was their first and only priority. Not just for the sake of the program, but something in him stirred violently at the sight of seeing them pale, in pain, their forearm in a cast. He asked Lucifer for details.
Upon hearing that it was due to some lesser demon, he laughed, but it was a terrible laugh. He calmly stated that he would handle it, but every member of the household could feel the house rumble. Not even Diavolo could stay completely tranquil, it seemed.
He knew the consequences of having a human in the Devildom, he knew the risks. He knew about the dirt in his kingdom that called themselves demons. He just didn’t realize how it would make him feel . Not only did MC have classes off, he allowed all the brothers to stay home for a while as well to make sure they were well taken care of. He had Lucifer give him daily updates on their progress.
MC is now curious why there are new changes to not only RAD but the House of Lamentation, Purgatory Hall, and even Diavolo’s castle. Simple things like ramps, elevators, railings, anything as a means of injury prevention. None of the demons need to use it, it’s all for MC, but everyone acts like it’s completely normal. All due to Diavolo’s ‘modern design’.
None of the brothers dare say anything about the Demon Lord’s frequent visits to their home, or to MC’s room. Not even Lucifer had him come over this often.
MC is thankful they never have to see the demon that resulted in their arm breaking again, but they didn’t know where they possibly could've gone.
Barbatos
It’s safe to assume he knew about this. Except, there were plenty of timelines where something like this had happened, so he didn’t know the details of which unfortunate accident would come about. Whatever the case, he was prepared to assist and serve MC in whatever way he could.
He always thinks he’s seen everything and is well prepared for it, but it still doesn’t prevent him from having his chest hurt and his nerves shudder at seeing MC like this. On the outside, he’ll always appear neutral, so no one knows just how much he’s feeling for this human. He’s so much softer with them than anyone else.
MC doesn’t know how this demon keeps getting into their room without coming through the door, it freaks them out a bit, to be honest. They don’t complain about their room being so pristine you could brush over it with a white glove, though.
MC thought that maybe, maybe, just once they could get away with getting up and doing things on their own. The brothers kept on fussing over them non-stop, but at one point they got called away to a meeting, leaving MC alone at home.
They got up out of bed, ready to stretch their legs and get some fresh air, trying to get some sort of normalcy back. They did all this not knowing that Barbatos was keeping a close eye on them from the shadows the entire time.
Whether it was by Diavolo’s orders or Barbatos’ own volition, MC will never know, but they did find their little excursion to the outside quickly brought to a halt by some form of magic that transported them back to their room. Barbatos had them back in bed before MC could even reach the front gates.
No matter how they tried, they were forced to stay safe, now even unable to get out from their bed. No matter how much they struggled, their own sheets betrayed them. The silent butler only showed up once MC gave up. He strutted over putting a soft but surprisingly stern hand over their shoulder as he went about taking care of them. Any words of protest fell on deaf ears. It was his duty to protect him, and not even MC could stop him.
Simeon
He had no idea till he noticed that MC hadn’t been to school for a few days now. When he brought it up to the brothers, they explained how MC had staggered back home one night, hand completely busted, and they wouldn’t tell anyone why. For MC’s safety, and just for the brother’s peace of mind, MC was to stay home until further notice.
Simeon’s an angel, so peaceful, anger isn’t something he fully understands, but he felt a burning pain in his chest. Why didn’t anyone tell him immediately? Was he just supposed to figure this out himself? It had been quite a long time since Lucifer had seen Simeon frown so deeply before, eyes cloudy with distress.
Simeon had never missed classes ever. He was always much too early, much too eager to stick to regulations. So when he ended up skipping class, it shocked Luke to his core and caused Diavolo to make a note that an angel had broken the rules to go check on a human. This program was turning up all sorts of surprises.
MC was pleasantly surprised to hear the soft knocks on their door, vastly different than any of the ways the demons announced themselves. Simeon strode in, radiating warmth, carefully grasping their hand in his, and gave it a gentle kiss. The pain MC had felt no longer existed. Simeon explained that it was still best if they heal on their own, but at the very least, they wouldn’t feel pain. He would be there to make it all go away.
He’s around MC now much more frequently, guarding them, keeping them from harm. From that point on he urges MC to let him know when things happen.
Solomon
He had been teaching MC more about magic. Not only did he think it would be beneficial for his human companion, but it would sate some of his curiosity. He wanted to learn more about MC, about their capabilities, testing to see in what ways their previous angel ancestor had changed them.
He knew they had a hard time driving out their power, so he tried different methods to assist them, methods they could use on their own. Magic rings, chants, wands. Unfortunately, once something worked, all their built up power flooded out of them at once, their temporary wand exploding into shards, and the bones in their hand following suit.
He used some of his magic to heal up what he could, being careful not to go too far or he’d overwhelm MC’s already weakened body. MC couldn't tell what was running through his head as he had them supported and cradled with one of his arms, the other one hovered over their hand. Magical circles and sigils running over their skin as it rushed to heal them. While his face seemed calm, his eyes looked a bit darker, missing the mischievous glint in them. They were tighter, laser focused, serious.
After he did what he could, both of them promised not to mention it to anyone, for fear both of them would never hear the end of it, or worse. While MC walked themselves home, Simeon used magic to keep an eye on them from his room, taking note what happened with him today. His mouth tight, arms folded across his chest, watching as the remnants from MC’s faulty makeshift wand burned rapidly in the fireplace.
Luke
He has absolutely no idea how humans work or how weak they are. So when he heard MC had a broken bone, he didn’t even fully understand what that meant. Broke...a bone? He knew the word broke didn’t sound pleasant, and when he finally went to go see MC, his little head almost exploded.
Their body broke?? Human’s bodies could break like that?? And they couldn't just have it healed immediately??
He blamed the demons most definitely, but MC had never ever been so entertained when the little angel pointed at each and every one of the brothers--Lucifer included--and chewed them out. Each of them had different expressions. Belphie looked exhausted, Beel looked downtrodden, Asmo didn’t even seem to be paying attention. Satan looked like he was only focusing on not destroying Luke right then and there, Levi looked mortified, Mammon was the only one arguing back, and Lucifer was stunned speechless that a creature barely higher than his waist was giving him a lecture.
Until MC is fully healed, Luke makes sure to bring plenty of freshly baked sweets right to their door, not noticing seven pairs of glowing glares while he lingers in the house of demons.
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me headcanons#obey me imagines#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me levi#obey me satan#obey me asmo#obey me beel#obey me belphie#obey me diavolo#obey me barbatos#obey me simeon#obey me solomon#obey me luke
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a father and daughter
I don't normally hop on the whole dad!tom thing, but this idea kinda popped up and wouldn't leave me alone. Hope everyone is having a lovely festive period and wish you all well in the new year x x x
Summary: Tom really struggles to get into the parenting thing, and finds it tricky balancing work and his relationship with baby daughter
Tom loved being a Dad. It had only been a couple of months, meaning your baby girl was still very much a baby - yet still he had no doubt, this was the best job one could ever ever do. To be honest he was quite regretting agree to the few work commitments he had started to ease back into too. It wasn’t like he couldn’t afford to go these months without work, which not many had the luxury of saying - but in this industry work agreements were lined up years before and he was never one to disappoint.
Of course, as soon as you both had found out you were expecting, he’d withdrawn from the big filming project across the world but that didn’t mean he avoided the odd week of press, or a couple days flying abroad for fittings and meetings. By absolutely no means would you ever class him as a slightly ‘absent’ dad, you completely understood and when he was home did way more than his fair share with Amelie.
But Tom felt guilty and he felt like he was inferior to you in parenting ability. And you knew that was for one reason and one reason only. He did not have boobs.
You were well aware that as much as you loved Amelie needing you so much and so often - sometimes being the only person able to soother her - was because all she wanted was to drain you of milk. She was clearly going to be a Daddy’s girl, and who could blame her when her Dad was Tom. But for right now, a mere 5 months old - she loved you because she loved your tit.
The first time you had noticed Tom’s growing frustration was right after his first evening work commitment since her arrivel, he’d been on a UK chat show earlier in the evening and as encouraged by you, had taken the opportunity to have a few drinks after with his brothers and friends. By no means did he return late, barely midnight, but he did return just a little tipsy. You were still up choosing to have a little movie night to yourself, whilst Amelie slept in the Moses basket next to the couch. Just before Tom got back though, she had woken up and for no reason was the smiliest little girl. So when Tom let himself into the front door, he was greeted with the sound of Amelie’s little bubbles of laughter, while you spoke in baby language - pulling ridiculous faces and laughing with her.
“Someones smiley” Tom laughed as he plopped down on the sofa next to you, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head and wrapping his arm round your shoulder as he smiled at Amelie.
“Aren’t you Meelie? How was the show love?” You asked, as you held Amelie in a sitting position on your thighs so she was staring at you both.
“Hmm it was nice, couldn’t make myself stay for too long though… just missed my girls.” His voice was a little rough, something that happens after talk show and then almost shouting over the obnoxiously loud music in the pub after. Amelie, laughed again at his words, almost taunting her Dad’s attachment to her, making both of you burst out laughing. She already had you both wrapped round her very little finger.
Shaking your head, you passed her over to Tom muttering needing a wee and made a quick escape. Ever since you had her, you couldn’t bring yourself to leave her unattended - meaning you had almost made your kidneys explode holding in a wee waiting for Tom to get back. Yet as soon as you made it out the door, the bubbling innocent laughter turned into screams - but at that point you’d already made it out the doorframe - marking that as Tom’s issue to handle. Unfortunately the wails continued, very very loud and proud, and when you returned Tom was pacing slowly around the lounge with a grimace on his face as Amelie screamed into his shoulder.
“I’ll stay up with her if you want.” You offered, knowing Tom without sleep and having to listen to her racket all night would have an impressively worse hangover tomorrow.
“No I got it, think she needs a change.” Tom countered, even though you were pretty sure she wanted a feed, since it had been a good couple of hours from the last. He noticed your hesitance and shooed you out the room “I got it love, you’ve had her all evening.”
“You know where I’ll be” You smiled lightly, leaving them downstairs as you got ready for bed.
It was after about 10 minutes of thrashing about guiltily in your otherwise empty bed, you gave in to the still continuous screaming. Amelie clearly was just hungry, even if Tom refused to admit it and bring her to you. So with a deep sigh you gave in, swinging your legs over the side of the bed and trudged downstairs. Tom was still stood up, taking gentle bouncing steps as Amelie apparently tried to deafen him. Once he saw you, with a defeated look, Tom offered her to you. Instantly, as if you just had the ability to turn the crying switch on her off- Amelie stopped crying and blinked away the tears in her eyes, whilst waiting patiently for you to offer her your nipple. While you were busy trying to get her to latch on, you just caught Tom muttering something as he trudged up to bed without so much as a good night.
Then a couple months later a similar thing occurred. Tom had been away in New York for 5 days, a little press stint that he had under no circumstances been able to get off. At first all had been well but two days since he returned, Tom insisted you finally had an evening out with the girls - to be honest, after spending the best part of a week alone with Meelie you graciously took it. Oh, and also of importance for context, Amelie spoke her first word while he was away… Mama.
You’d left that morning, your best friend taking you on a spa day before - so by the time Tom called you at 11 in the evening, he’d spent a good portion of the day with Amelie vehemently denying to do anything at all apart from yell- yelling “NO MAMA.” So fair to say he was pissed. You answered the phone with a soft smile, honestly finding spending this much time apart from Amelie really hard and guilt-inducing.
“Hey Tom everything okay?”
“Um when do you think you’ll be back?” He spoke straight and to the point, clearly not in the mood for small talk.
“I don’t think too long, is everything alright?” His tone made you so much more concerned, now worrying that something had happened.
“No no everything’s fine. Just… just been a long day.”
“Okay well I’ll be back soon I promise. I love you.”
“Yeh yeh um you too” He didn’t mean to be short. Nor to make you worried. He didn’t hate you - far the opposite, he hated how much Amelie loved you.
If he was being honest, he just felt like a bit of a failure of a father. As a child himself, Tom had always been incredibly close to his mum and thought the typical rule was mummy’s boys and daddy’s girls stood. So why then, did his child appear to absolutely detest him with every look. Especially because, given the nature of his job, once Tom went back to actually shooting films again he’d be around much less - and that the relationship between him and Amelie would at least be geographically strained. Unrequited love is always the worst and ultimately most painful, especially when it involves your own child.
This underlying and unspoken tension fizzled away for a decent amount of months and Tom went on his first job. At this point you were no longer breastfeeding, but still you knew that purely instinctively if Amelie was ever scared, upset or unhappy she would seek you first. It was bloody obvious to you that she did love Tom, she chuckled away like no tommorrow when he played with her and spun her round the room. And yet, you could still tell Tom wasn’t completely convinced and still seemed , just a bit aware and hesitant.
In there ever needed to be any proof though, it must’ve been how stroppy Amelie got once Tom left. In short, for you, it was hell. You ended up constantly wearing Tom’s t-shirts, not for you but because the mild but lingering scent of him seemed to soothe Amelie when she was fussing. She would never giggle like she did when her silly Daddy was here to be her personal comedian. She had, however, finally learnt how to say Dada - which now she was shouting impressively at every point apart from when you tried to film it. She was a little devil, its like she knew exactly what to do to make you life as hard as possible - keeping you dealing with an unhappy Tom. You tried to tell him, when you were on FaceTime each evening - but no matter how many times you promised, it seemed that Tom had a hard time believing you.
He was filming in Germany, which meant it wasn’t actually ‘that’ far from your London home and after two weeks he flew back for a weekend. You were incredibly excited- not just to seeing Tom, which of course you where; but also ,hopefully, for him to feel some sort of assurance in his ability as a parent. He needed to see her, Amelie needed her Daddy and you… you needed a rest.
That evening, you had had her balanced on your hip as you rushed to make the house look somewhat presentable (because single parenting was not easy) but Amelie had thrown a fit so with a slightly immature passive aggressive comment to your 11 month old daughter you put her on her play mat and carried on. It was a bit of a risk if you were quite honest, she was more than just a crawler - she perfected the art of bum shuffling and was starting to on occasion try to stand up. But you were in the same room so surely little harm could come to her in the ‘over-the-top-ly’ baby proofed living room - Tom’s doing of course.
So keeping one eye on Amelie and the other on the almost terrifyingly big stack of discarded toys you set about tidying up. It was all going swimmingly until your thoughts about how on earth you were going to hide all the crap were abruptly interrupted with a garbled screech of “DADA!”
You instantly whipped your head round to watch Amelie stumble and basically throw herself the couple of steps to the doorway where Tom stood. You had absolutely no clue how long he’d been standing there but that was all insignificant watching him sweep you little girl into his arms, before she could career to the floor (headfirst of course). His eyes were bugging out of his head, as she giggled and laughed in his strong grasp before astutely throwing her head into the crook of his neck, demanding to be cuddled by him.
It was almost hilarious, how utterly shocked Tom looked at the real life proof that his baby girl had missed him. Once he met your eyes he used the hand supporting Amelies back to point at her in a questioning manner, making you roll your eyes at just how oblivious and stubborn he is.
“She’s missed her Dad!” You smiled, as you walked toward him and pecked his lips. “You got this down here if I finally get some peace upstairs?”
Because yes, you’d missed your husband and wanted to spend all night wrapped in his arms. But really? There was a more important way the evening should pass, finally Tom getting his moment with Amelie. So without so much as even a ‘how was your flight’ you left the two in the living room - you making a beeline to the bath, for just a moment to yourself.
It was perhaps even a little shocking to yourself that you were so confident you could leave them alone for the evening. Because really, if Amelie started acting up suddenly again, this could be where Tom’s confidence as a dad goes from ‘ropey at best’ to ‘non-existent’. Except you were so certain in the fact that just wouldn’t happen. If she was hungry she’d take the bottle from Tom (which she never did from you without arguement ).
And so you had possible the most relaxing time in the bath - actually alone for the first time in two weeks.
It wasn’t until you quietly walked down the stairs two hours later that you got a bit suspicious of the silence downstairs. Cautiously you peered your head round the doorframe and you didn’t even try to stifle the beaming smile spread across your face. Because there was your husband, lying semi-reclined on the arm of the sofa, his arms wrapped protectively round Amelie who looked incredibly content snuggled up to her dad at last. They were both fast asleep and the sight was just so sweet it actually hurt your heart, meaning only naturally you had sneak a picture of them both. It was infuriating how you knew you had to wake him up - it is a little irresponsible to leave her lying on top of him on the couch and you kinda wanted to cuddle up to Tom this evening too.
So with a gentle touch rubbing and down his right arm it only took a moment or two till he suddenly blinked his eyes open, eyes looking quickly between your eyes and Amelie - his grasp on her had instinctively tightened a little.
“Hey” You whispered softly, watching him notice how calm Amelie looked on his chest.
“Mhmm hey.” His voice was slightly croaky, probably from the exhaustion of two weeks of hard work.
“You guys friends then?” You whispered while combing your ginger nails though Amelies little curls at the base of her neck - she was most deifnetly a Holland.
“She did really miss me?” Tom asked, still half not believing as he shuffled up on the sofa so he was sitting more upright.
“To the point she had me wrapping the pillows in your unwashed t-shirts.” You giggled as his bottom lip pouted into a visible ‘awh’.
“Come on lets get you both to bed.”
Without much complaint, but keeping her in his arms, Tom nodded and followed you up to bed. But that night instead of getting your way and having Tom cuddling you, he pouted until you let him lie Amelie down in the middle of the bed between you two .
But seeing the way he grinned at her in the dark, almost fighting to stay awake as he looked at her, the prospect seemed a lot more attractive.
And that was more than fine by you.
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Fallout new vegas companions taking the courier's place in lonesome road (+ cut companions if that's cool with u) (thanks!!)
The problem with trying to adapt Lonesome Road to another character's experience is that so much of its story hinges on the courier's missing past and the former Frumentarius' struggle to make them understand what happened, why it caused a shockwave across multiple lives, locations and generations, and whether to avenge or let go of the harm that was unknowingly done to the Divide. So if you bring the companions into the mix instead of Courier Six, you either have a long-running story of mistaken identity (a hilarious concept, Ulysses being absolutely positive that the companion is the one who wrecked his dream home while they have no idea who this angry, verbose man is), or a drastically different history for the companions themselves. I say let's give that second option a shot, it seems fun and headcanon-y.
Arcade Gannon: While I don't think Arcade would be directly responsible for the destruction of the Divide, I think he would pale at hearing Ulysses' message searching for Enclave agents and would set out to confront the angry courier on behalf of his hidden family. The Enclave remnants are already hunted by the NCR and the Brotherhood of Steel, and the last thing they need is to be chased out of yet another home over something they didn't personally do. He'd accept ED-E's help wholeheartedly and consider turning back every time he ran into marked men or tunnelers, but his own resolve to save his loved ones would urge him to persevere. I think his determination would intrigue Ulysses, enough to engage the young research scientist in conversation if he arrived at the end of the road in one piece, and the courier might even let go of his vendetta if Arcade revealed that he was doing this out of the goodness of his heart rather than a sense of duty. Arcade would cancel the nuke launch, but would seriously consider blowing up the Legion.
Craig Boone: We know the NCR and Legion were fighting over the Divide before the ICBMs leveled the area. But what if that was by design, rather than by accident? Maybe Boone has more skeletons in his closet than just Bitter Springs, and he was part of a strike team that used old Enclave technology to surprise the Legion forces and seal off an access route, a decision based on math and made by men who had never met the people of Hopeville and Ashton that they sentenced to death. It's yet another weight on the sniper's conscience, and yet another debt he feels obligated to pay, so when Ulysses' call goes out, he answers. The usual dangers of the Divide wouldn't slow him down, but the turbulent weather would irritate him to no end. Upon arrival at the temple, Boone wouldn't mince words because he already knows he's guilty of the charge and he knows Ulysses used to walk for the Legion. If he survived the encounter, Boone would take the opportunity to rain the same destruction down on Caesar's troops.
Lily Bowen: There are about 119 years of Lily's life as a super mutant that are unaccounted-for, and we know she suffers from schizophrenia like many other nightkin. Perhaps it was Lily who discovered the Enclave package and unwittingly left it in the home of America's missiles: Perhaps it was Leo. I'm inclined to think it was Leo, who was probably searching for a cache of Stealth Boys in the old military installations across the desert, and who simply didn't care when a new hole in the earth opened up behind him. Lily, on the other hand, cares deeply, and would set out after Ulysses in the interest of making amends where she could. More so than any other companion, I think Lily would be disturbed by the tunnelers and would go out of her way to crush them wherever they popped up. The marked men would earn her sympathy and she would do her best to knock them out without killing them. After doing the same to Ulysses, Lily would cancel the launch and weep over the subsequent loss of ED-E. She would likely bring the little eyebot back to the Mojave and search for a way to fix it.
Raul Alfonso Tejada: We already know that Raul goes to extreme lengths to avenge the people he cares about, so it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to mix his backstory into the story of the Divide. Following the murder of Claudia in Tucson/Two Sun, Raul chased Dirty Dave and his brothers across Arizona and into the town of Ashton before killing them. Unbeknownst to him, Dirty Dave had a package with him that could speak to the nuclear missile silos hidden in the Divide, and the earth crumbled behind the vaquero as he made his way back home. Though he'd heard of the devastation, Raul didn't put two and two together until Ulysses sent out his summons, and because he didn't have anything planned that week, the old mechanic decided to answer the call. He would put up with Ulysses' messages like a good sport until he encountered the man in the temple, where he would refuse to fight until the two talked things out like civil people. I think Ulysses would be surprised at the revelation that the ghoul he had cast as a villain was following his own quest for vengeance and unaware of the package, and would come away somewhat amused by the situation. They would most likely team up to fight off the marked men, and Raul would cancel the launch and take a wrench to the machines to prevent any more "misunderstandings."
Rose of Sharon Cassidy: Let's say one of Cass' caravans delivered a package back in the day. Let's say that package accidentally buried the caravan crew and an entire community along with it. Let's say Cass knows, and that's one of the reasons she drinks. While Courier Six walks the Divide out of curiosity about their missing past, I think Cass would do it as a form of penance in and of itself, with a little desire for self-destruction thrown into the mix. The journey would start out as a bender fueled by self-loathing and the fanciful notion of giving her missing caravan a proper funeral, and by the time Cass runs out of whiskey she's already halfway through the Cave of the Abaddon and punching holes through the tunnelers with her shotgun. She would largely ignore Ulysses' cryptic messages and holotapes, but she'd grow fond of the little eyebot that took a shine to her and would tear after it once the mysterious courier repossessed it. Following the final battle, Cass would cancel the launch, but only at the very last second, just to revel in the fleeting feeling of control.
Veronica Santangelo: I just can't see Veronica knowingly or unknowingly waking up a nuclear arsenal with a careless application of tech, but I can totally see her stumbling upon the aftermath of something her old mentor is responsible for. Father Elijah already has a tenuous grasp on the consequences of his own actions, and we know that the prototype tech that controls the Divide's weather is a Big MT project. Maybe Elijah paid Hopeville a visit to check it out and took his investigation a little too far when he discovered the nukes. This would explain Ulysses' directions to the old man to find the Sierra Madre, sealing his doom inside the casino. But where does that leave Ulysses? Along comes Veronica, following her mentor's trail of destruction, and the courier can't help but guide her along the path, show her the meaning of the wreckage and the danger of pre-war technology when left to the discretion of those with old-world values, like the Brotherhood. Along that line, I think Ulysses would try to test her like he does Courier Six, and would schedule a launch to see what she does. Veronica would cancel the launch and resolve to never tell her brothers and sisters in Steel about the secrets of the Divide. She might dump some water on the consoles for good measure. More importantly, I think she might finally realize that the unchanging family she clings to can only die out, or go down the same path that Elijah did.
ED-E: Given that ED-E is a robot, I think Ulysses would be hell-bent on finding whoever sent the little guy rather than consider that the eyebot saw a package with Enclave markings on it, picked it up of its own accord, and deposited it wherever it next encountered old American symbols. Through its communication with the other eyebots in the Divide, I think ED-E would get the picture about the courier's quest for the responsible party and play dumb for as long as possible. The other ED-E would help conceal the mistake to save its new friend, but Ulysses isn't stupid and would eventually figure it out. But how do you effectively punish a robot? Maybe he would set the nukes to target the Divide again, to send any remaining eyebots to the scrapyard for good, but it's a long shot. If he did, ED-E would cancel the launch, but would join its override system capabilities to its counterpart's and use the combined decryption power to ensure that both eyebots make it through the ordeal unharmed.
Rex: This good boy would never even consider entering the Divide. Seriously, what dog in their right mind would go in there? What cyberdog? No thank you. Still, the idea of a dog being responsible for the nukes and Ulysses continuing to hold a grudge is beyond funny. Maybe Rex was part of a mission for the Legion when he still belonged to Caesar, part of the group that leveled the Divide on behalf of the Bull. Maybe that's why Antony says he was "lost in battle," and maybe he's the only surviving member of that squad. I don't see why Ulysses would hang around the Divide waiting for the dog to look upon the hell he'd wrought, and he would more than likely seek the canine out himself as soon as he heard about the King's new pet. From there, the story turns into Courier Six investigating an assassination attempt on a goddamned dog, and the events of Lonesome Road play out pretty much the same way they were written - plus plenty of asides about how Ulysses is going to way too much effort over a creature that can't comprehend what nukes are.
Benny Gecko: Few people know that Yes Man was actually one of two securitrons that Benny managed to incapacitate and reprogram, and while the head of the Chairmen hid his favorite in the Tops for safekeeping, he sent the other out into the world for some recon and experimentation. Imagine his surprise when Yes Man was able to remotely hack into a nuclear missile silo and wipe out a budding trade community. And who would've thought that test run was going to come back to bite him in the ass, right after he was sprung from the Legion camp? I think Benny would do everything in his power to avoid entering the Divide, but I also think Ulysses would have little patience for him and would actively force the disgraced city boy into walking the Courier's Mile by blocking any other path out of the Mojave. Benny would form an attachment to ED-E, similar to Yes Man, but would complain the whole way and confront his tormenter with little remorse. He would also nuke both the NCR and the Legion if he came away alive, probably with some snarky one-liner about "letting the chips fall where they may."
Vulpes Inculta: Vulpes already has a few scorched-earth badges on his Pioneer Scouts belt (Nipton, Camp Searchlight, etc.), so eliminating the Divide is just another tactic in the grand strategy playing out between the Bull and the Bear. All he needed to do was leave a certain package in town, and the problem basically solved itself. Unfortunately, that deserter of his wasn't buried under the wreckage, and now Caesar has ordered him to assassinate the renegade. The fool keeps announcing his whereabouts every few hours or so, making tracking an easy task, but by the third time he feels eyes on the back of his neck and turns to find nothing there, Vulpes can't help but wonder whether the student has surpassed the teacher. The final showdown of Frumentarii would be something for the ages, a clash of philosophies and loyalties with plenty of verbal sparring between the bullets. If he survived the encounter with Ulysses, Vulpes would definitely nuke the NCR.
Ulysses: This cut companion can't very well face off against himself, can he? Unless... he was the courier who accidentally brought the Enclave detonator that sealed the Divide's doom. Given the weight of this grief, I think Ulysses would similarly force himself to walk the length of the Divide, take in the utter destruction that his own actions had wrought, and reflect on the meaning of one man changing the course of history. When it came down to the final room, the final decision, our disillusioned courier would activate the launch as a way of testing himself, testing his own resolve. Like Cass, he would stare at the machines shuddering to life around him until the very last moment, before shutting the system down for good, smiling under his breathing mask and walking away forever.
Victor: The robot cowboy doesn't really know what the angry man on the eyebot keeps talking about. He certainly doesn't remember delivering a package to a place called Hopeville or Ashton. Why would he? Mr. House is very good about covering his tracks, particularly when it comes to eliminating business rivals. Really, it could have been any old securitron. Nevertheless, Victor rolls merrily along in search of the courier who summoned his master, letting his own optics passively take in the devastated wasteland left behind by bombs that launched 200 years too late. Because of his robotic nature, I think it'd be a lot easier for Ulysses to get the drop on Victor and disable him at the temple, then wait until House sent another envoy or came himself. House would probably lose interest as soon as he got his data, which I don't think would stall Ulysses much: Once he figured out the Strip's owner isn't coming, he'd find some way to get inside the Lucky 38. If, however, Victor prevailed in the final struggle, he would nuke both the NCR and the Legion on behalf of Mr. House.
#lonesome road#fallout#fallout new vegas#fnv#fallout companions react#fallout new vegas companions react#fnv companions react#fallout new vegas companions#fnv companions#arcade gannon#craig boone#lily bowen#raul alfonso tejada#raul tejada#rose of sharon cassidy#cassidy#veronica santangelo#ed-e#rex#benny gecko#vulpes inculta#ulysses#victor#the divide#hopeville#ashton#anon ask
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ULTRA LONG TIME TWIN HEADCANNONS
@sippin-on-waterfalls your post is ready
From Pokedash and Purplefern
Ooooooookay here we go.
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-Krux perceives time slower than others so he is easily late to events (plus he gets distracted and way into projects so he can easily lose track of time, ironically) so he could end up missing a lot of Elemental Alliance meetings
-Acronix made sure he informed Krux it was time to go (whenever he remembers, anyway) otherwise he’d be uber late all the time. Good thing they always go together
-Acronix is super early all the time because of his powers and he and Griffon Turner’s grandfather got along really well
-All the same, between lack of attention span, focusing on other things, and not caring for the meetings in general, Krux and Acronix miss a LOT of meetings
-Before alliance meetings Wu is training little Morro and the Twins and the Master of Speed just waltz in the monastery doors an hour early
-Acronix teaches Morro some sick fighting moves (some rather underhanded)
-Krux advises him to never let people get away with harm cause you are the most important thing in your life. (Revenge!)
-Wu be like plz stop encouraging my kid into violence and dishonorable tactics.
-Krux brought refreshments to an EA party exactly once. It was pickled beet tea and nobody liked it. He took it very personally.
-Back during the war, the love triangle with Misako was actually a love rectangle. Krux had a crush on her too but he literally had no idea how to act on it so his part of the rectangle was staring at her longingly from afar and not saying anything.
-Yes Acronix teased him immensely about this. And tried to act as a wingman several times but Krux swore if he did he would murder him
-Pre-series, Misako would do work for the museum a lot, so she ended up working with Sanders Saunders quite often. Despite her relationship to Wu and Garmadon and their “history”, he did like working with her ok
-They both also worked with the Explorer’s Club a lot, and have equal disdain for Cecil Putnam and Clutch Powers
-Krux hates Cecil’s stuffy rules (even though he couldn’t show it while being Dr Saunders) and Clutch’s….everything
-Krux’s doctorate is real, and he has a doctorate in History and and Master’s degree in Museum Studies
-He’s the Curator of History at the museum, and the other curator is the curator of natural sciences
-Acronix is a big nicknames guy. He doesn’t usually call people by their actual names. Only the people he actually cares about or that he super hates.
-But he also generally despises nicknames given TO him. The only people allowed to call him Nix/Nixie are his brother and mother (and later Shannon).
-Krux only calls Acronix "Nix" if he's feeling particularly vulnerable/scared/etc (so like, when being the older twin isn't feeling that fun and he decides to ignore those 3 minutes and be more like the "younger" twin.) So this becomes a lot less as he becomes more arrogant.
-(Based on how he describes Dareth getting beat up by the Vermillion warrior) Krux likes watching wrestling. It’s a guilty pleasure of his
-And of course Acronix loves it once he learns about it, so the two watch it together
-Krux occasionally plays strategy board games. He tried to get Acronix into them but he found them boring.
-(Sometimes he’ll suck it up and play with him anyway, though.)
-Both are sass masters
-Both also like science
-But like completely different facets of science.
-Krux of course likes the more stable and earthy sciences. Biology and geology, ecology. Those elemental science that have always existed but we just haven’t yet understood them
-Krux is also a total history nerd. Things like paleontology and anthropology are also really interesting to him
-Yes he was a dinosaur kid. (Especially since dinosaurs had just started to be discovered back in his day.)
-Acronix of course likes advancement and the otherworldly sciences. Technology, Astronomy. Sure we build upon the discoveries of the past but what about creating something new for the future?
-Acronix does like bioengeneering since it is a new advancement but he knows saying so would make Krux grin with “I told you bio was cool” vibes
-Krux can engulf himself into his work or his schemes for days. As he is very patient.
-Acronix is less so. He sees time constantly moving forward so sitting idle to “Plan” seems a ridiculous waste of time.
-He jumps from activities quickly as the novelty of it wears off and he is always on a quest for what's new and what may work, not really what has been confirmed to work
-Krux of course sees this as a fool's errand. We need to respect the knowledge we have and use it and plan with it.
-But when they are in sync you should be SCARED
-Both thinking in the Present can make them in perfect harmony, Both in fighting and talking.
-Their different planning methods can help eachother get things done. So yes, when they work together you should be scared
-Krux can get really fixated on an idea, and get into major creative blocks. Acronix helps propose out of the box solutions that keep his ideas moving forwards that he wouldn’t have thought of himself.
-But as we see they can also be reeeeallly different and fight over the miniscule things.
-Krux lingers on Grudges easily as he physically cannot not put value to the events of the past.
-Acronix’s main grudge with the alliance came from his ego and arrogance, not his element. I think he feels very internally about wrongs to him in the moment but if he sees nothing really changed a couple of days later he loses interest in holding such a grudge easily
-Each of them have the ability to not be affected by the other’s powers
-Acronix has no patience to listen to anything he doesn’t want to hear. Back when he had his powers he COULD and WOULD just “skip” peoples’ dialogue if he got bored of it.
-Krux has a bad habit of “freezing” people if he feels like they’re interrupting him. Like, he will freeze people who are trying to get him to stop working on something while he’s trying to get something done, and then get back to them when he feels like it. Everyone has to work on his time. (Annoyingly, this does not affect his brother, which is why Acronix is the only one who can actually get him to stop working on his projects.)
-Whenever Krux & Acronix would hang out with Chen, Acronix loved messing with Clouse. Clouse reminds him of his brother, but even more stuffy and annoyed somehow, so he just has an instinctual urge to annoy him as much as possible.
-(Clouse does not appreciate this, but Master Chen says they’re “important” to his plan so Clouse just suffers quietly.)
-Acronix likes the Master of Speed, but also finds it annoying that he can resist his slo-mo powers by going really fast. (On the bright side, though, this does make him the closest thing to an equal he’ll get for a sparring partner, if Krux doesn’t want to train with him for whatever reason.)
-Because of his element, Sound is one of the rare people who doesn’t really mind Krux but REALLY dislikes Acronix. Acronix is just so loud all the time and it physically pains him because he is so sensitive to vibrations and volume. Krux is generally pretty quiet so doesn’t bug him as much.
-Acronix is an Entrepreneur (ESTP) and Krux is an Architect (INTJ)
-They have no Feeling whatsoever
-Otherwise, they are complete opposites
-Both of these personality types hate rules, regulations, and micromanaging restricting authority figures (hmm, wonder why they broke away from the alliance…)
-Acronix is arrogant in the way that he doesn’t care about his flaws, because obviously he is awesome and everyone else is just jelly, Krux is arrogant in the way that he hates people pointing out his flaws, because shut up he doesn’t have any
-Their mother is Polaris, they take after her physically
-Father is Kronos, they got their powers and ego from him
-Their father actively encouraged them to have immense pride in their element -- being the former master of time himself
-Ordered them the sweet matching armor
-He was a samurai back in his day, which is why the Twims wore samurai helmets.
-Between their two loving parents, the Twims were nearly spoiled
-Krux and Acronix grew up pretty rich, Kronos was pretty much high society and Polaris was too
-They went to a fairly fancy private school growing up
-But everyone there were snobs so they didn’t get along well with their classmates (what a surprise)
-Their parents died in a skirmish with Serpentine, leading the Twims to join the alliance full of vengeance.
-Acronix has a battle scar from being grazed by an anacondrai sword on his left pec cause I said so
-Also a lot of misc snake bit scars and a burn scar from that one time (Ray’s got a bad temper and Acronix likes pressing people’s buttons, so that went super well)
-Acronix super cares about his looks so has a ton of, like, haircare and beauty products. Krux has a single bottle of 3-in-1 and a bar of soap and says that that’s sufficient.
-Back in the day Acronix had a bunch of oils and whatever for his hair, and when he’s in the present he’s got a bunch of fancy shampoos and such. He’s definitely the vain one of the two twins
_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*
A collection of Neurodivergent Twims HCs
-Acronix has ADHD and Krux is autisitc
-Acronix is early, but only to things he remembers. He often forgets dates. And Krux will get involved with something else, and has a warped sense of time. Together, the two miss a lot of EM meetings
-And when they’re at them, neither of them are good at conversations. Acronix talks a mile a minute and doesn’t let anyone get a word in edgewise. Krux either doesn’t talk to anyone or similarly dominates conversation and doesn’t let anyone else talk.
-The two also get sent on solo missions alot
-They don’t focus well in a group setting (Acronix generally ignoring the plan for what he prioritizes as the better option and krux simply not being popular with the others and only really battling well beside his brother)
-They are generally strong enough to protect a village by themselves
-The other EM work better with them out of the way since they are “annoying” and no one really likes their arrogance, pride, or entire personhood
-They seem to be happier working only together than with the whole group
-Once during a group charge on a collection of Serpentine races Acronix notices a horde heading in a different direction and follows them impulsive
-All of these things together make them especially unpopular with the other EMs
-Especially with the Master of Ice, who considers their actions disrespectful and often scolds them on their behavior
-Krux and Acronix can BOTH get hyperfixated on things they are interested in, and can also forget to eat and sleep.
-Acronix struggles with insomnia a lot because his brain doesn’t shut up. Luckily his brother never really sleeps either. They spend a lot of long nights talking about nonsense
-Acronix tries to use time skip powers to not waste time while sleeping. He skips the night, but he still didn’t get sleep. He crashes after a few days of this and Krux tells him that he’s a moron
-Acronix has a fidget spinner, which he got for the memes but ended up finding unironically helpful, and gives Krux a fidget cube (which Krux reluctantly accepts and actually does use pretty often.)
-Before learning what a fidget spinner was he would flip his phone a lot. It was both an easily accessible stim and assurance he knew where it was cause he tended to leave things around at random.
-Krux used nail-biting as a stim, mostly because it can appear pretty neurotypical
-Acronix is “annoying” around the ninja during his lil redemption arc, but instead of reacting like the elemental masters, the Ninja actually do research and come to an understanding (especially Zane, who is perceptive, understanding, and has an instantaneous link to the internet).
-Altogether he’s a little surprised when they actually put effort into tolerating and understanding his differences. Huh. How’s bout that?
-Jay is also pretty understanding, he’s got a lot of nd cousins and has ADHD himself so it’s kinda just *shrugs*
-Modern dyes and preservatives really trigger Acronix’s ADHD to be even worse than usual.
-Zane picks up on this, and like the mother hen that he is starts to put in a special effort to keep dyes away from Acronix (or to keep Acronix away from dyes, as the case may be)
-Jay has a similar problem with dyes (which Edna let the Ninja know about, thanks a lot ma ) so Zane works double time to keep them both away from dyes
-Makes special dishes that are “ADHD safe”
-Neither appreciate it (well Jay does but will complain openly at every chance he gets)
-Acronix got into a lot of trouble with their dad when he was a kid, because he just couldn’t pay attention
-Has bursts of anger a lot, oftentimes this happens during things like parties or pre-meeting conversations. (which easily leads to him getting a label of “aggressive” or “hotheaded” by the EMs)
-DEFINITELY struggles with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria
-Ninjago history is Krux’s special interest
-Krux freezes people around him when he needs a sec to destim
-Krux is pretty high-functioning, but is on the borderline. He's high-functioning enough to be aware of himself and mask, but not enough to avoid things like shut/melt downs
-Acronix is fiercely protective of his brother whenever he shuts down. Messing with Krux while he's like that (whether the antagonist is aware or not) is a one way ticket to his wrath as well as physical punishment.
-Whenever things got too intense at a meeting/party type thing, Acronix would ditch and sneak them both out whenever Krux was heading towards a shut down. Being the awesome supportive twin that he is, he learned to pick up on the signs of one and was certain to prevent them pretty much whenever possible.
-Acronix failed in his efforts only once (he was kind of sick that day and wasn’t at the top of his game to be keeping a watchful eye on his bro), and Krux kind of ended up time freezing a few of the EMs in the process. It was something the elemental masters (or Krux himself) did not soon forget or forgive.
-He'll go nonverbal sometimes, to the minor aggravation of the alliance. Sign language isn't a thing yet so anyone trying to understand him when he's like this are pretty much reliant on Acronix and his twin sense to translate.
-When their parents died Krux went nonverbal for a little over a month.
-Krux was pretty delayed in learning to speak, he didn’t say his first word until he was 3 ¼
-Even during his redemption arc, Acronix does not tell the Ninja about Krux's autism, from a built in fear that the knowledge would be used against him in possible future battles. (Also because he knows Krux wouldn't want them to know.)
-Krux doesn't just hate phones because “ugh technology”, he also just hates talking on the phone because it’s super difficult
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OK there are way more that we have but... did you know there is actually a word limit on Tumblr? Heh heh... If you want more Twim goodness you can read our extensive fanfic collection... or maybe we’ll make a part two (That’ll probably consist of Home life pre-war stuff, post-canon AU junk, Vermillion family nonsense, and more random stuff)
#nijnago#there's a word limit?#text post#headcannon#headcannons#headcannon dump#ninjago headcanons#lego ninjago#ns7#hands of time#acronix#krux#ninjago krux#ninjago acronix#krux and acronix#acronix and krux#just text#thatsit#acronix has adhd#krux has autism#nuerodivergent time twins#nuerodivergent#explorers club#misako#Sensei Wu#serpentine war#pre-canon#post-canon#long post#bleh
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Keeping a Secret - Part 3
pairing: Tsukishima x f!manager of Sendai Frogs genre: sexual tension/crack/fluff/slow burn warnings: lots of swear words, tsukki being a a closet softie wc: 7.3k (Ill just stop apologizing for this long chapter updates at this point)
[a/n]
Let me know if you want to be part of the taglist uwu
AO3
Part 2 || Part 4 || masterlist
“Remind me again why are we here.” Tsukishima tells you as soon as he steps foot inside your room.
He scans the room and immediately notices the mess that it is, particularly the top bunk of the bed which he doesn’t doubt must be your share of it.
On the wall on the left side of the room are posters of seascapes and sea animals of different varieties while the desk bolted under it are framed photos of Sendai Frogs. He recognizes them all;, one was taken from the first win of the team on the first year you joined as the manager. The second is a photo of the team at the gym with the new members that year, including Kyoutani who had just recently joined. The last one is a selfie of you on the bus doing a peace sign and winking at the camera while everyone was sleeping.
He kinda feels bad for your roommate now. You’re practically hogging the whole room.
You put down your bag on the floor and shoot him a confused look. “To do our project?”
When you told him to meet in your dorm, he agreed because he thought you meant the common area. After all, he had no reason to think you’d invite him to your room. You two may have disregarded the club incident, tucking it away as a sordid memory from a night of insanity, but that doesn’t mean it is forgotten. However, that doesn’t seem to be the case with you as you appear to genuinely find nothing wrong with the current situation.
You seat yourself at your table, taking out your laptop and notes from the trip last time.
“Go sit, Tsukishima,” you say without even looking at him as you spread out your notes on the table’s surface as your laptop boots up.
“We could’ve just done this in the library, or at least in the lobby,” he says as a matter-of-factly.
“True, but I also don’t see any problem with doing it here,” you answer passively, still occupied with arranging your papers.
He was right. It really does not bother you at all. So, he shouldn’t be bothered with it either. This way, at least, no one would see you and him together. You’re a person he doesn’t want to be associated with hanging around with anyways.
“Do you always invite your groupmates to your room?” He asks out of curiosity since it didn’t seem like anything for you to just invite him in, as if you didn’t care much about your privacy.
“Hmm. Depends,” you answer.
He takes out his own laptop, but still eyes you as he prods further. “On what?”
The curve of your lips tugs up slightly as you sit up straight and lift your gaze away from the notes you took out and finally turn your attention to him.
“I welcome those who won’t get handsy with me.”
“Even if you’re the one who’d get handsy with them?” he boldly counters.
You cock your head to the side with hints of amusement playing across your features, which vexes him. The question was supposed to tear your composure, not entertain you.
“Alright, let’s get the fucking elephant out of the room since it bothers you so much,” you announce with levity.
If you’re going to be honest, the kiss still finds its way to your mind sometimes. You just keep pushing it off so that you won’t get stressed out by it. What you find interesting is that he still keeps shoving that fact that you kissed him as if you wanted to do so.
Well, you literally did kiss him, but it’s not like you sought for it prior to the incident.
It just … happened.
“I’ll come clean, good sir, if you’ll allow me,” you declare sarcastically before setting a more serious tone. “I admit it. It was one hell of a mistake to kiss you. But I didn’t mean to. As ridiculous as it sounds, I really didn���t. It was just one of those stupid, off-the-cuff things people do.”
Your voice takes an accusatory note when you ask, “And why do you sound like I harassed you or something? Hmm? ‘Cause if I remember correctly.”
You cross your arms and look up, pretending to be deep in thought before facing him again with a fraudulent shock. “Oh right!” you exclaim exaggeratedly. “You kissed me back,” you add in almost a sing-song manner.
You put an elbow on the table and rest your cheek on your palm as you hold his glare with a snide grin. “How about that?”
He continues shooting daggers at you but you don’t falter. Quite soon enough, he lets up and returns to the passive, apathetic face he usually wears, which signals your victory for the argument. “Like you said, it was one of those dumb on the spot whims.”
You nod agreeably. “Alright, great. Now that that has been established, let me reassure you. It’s never ever gonna happen again. Ever.”
Your eyes are devoid of any humor while your words drip with firm resolve. Yet, he finds it off that you’re not asking him to do the same given that you both just agreed that you are equally accountable for that imprudent act. He is almost just as guilty.
“Aren’t you going to ask the same from me?”
Your somber expression breaks into a humored one as a laugh rumbles from your throat. You shake your head in comical delight while you look at him. “No, I won’t. Actually...” you drift off as you scoot closer to him until you’re right beside him. “Give it your best shot.”
You close your eyes and tilt your chin up. Did you really just dare him to kiss you? Kiss those stupid lips and have a repeat of that appalling night?
Should he?
He would do it just to erase the smug off your face, just to prove you wrong. But similar to that night, he can’t bring himself to do it. He hates the idea of instigating such a thing.
Even more so now that he’s already had a taste of those lips. Those lips that felt too exquisite that it infuriated him. Those lips that took away his logical thinking. With you offering those lips to him so generously, you make him hate them even more. That pretty face and that playful smile of yours do nothing but add to his fury.
“Can you get your face away from me?”
You peek one eye open before bursting into laughter, making his displeasure towards you skyrocket. Why the fuck is he always your laughing stock?
“See? This is why I don’t mind you coming over, Tsukishima. I bet if I strip naked right now, you’d walk out in a heartbeat.”
His scowl deepens. The mental image of your unclad body is very much unwelcome and unappreciated. “Bring that up again and I really will leave,” he snaps.
Even with your smile intact, your humored expression dissolves a bit and is replaced by a curious guise.
“You know, everyone likes me except you,” you say with no shred of diffidence.
You really are full of yourself. You might be ‘likeable’ for a lot of people, but that doesn’t mean every single person you meet actually likes you. He’s certain there are people who you rub off the wrong way -- people like him.
“Isn’t that a bit too conceited, even for you?”
You shrug your shoulders indifferently. “Maybe so. But you’re the only person who shoves your blatant dislike on my face.”
“You didn’t seem to have a problem with it for the past three years,” he replies as he flips his laptop open and boots it up so he can turn his attention somewhere other than you.
“I didn’t need to work with you like this for the past three years.”
He doesn’t know where you’re going with the conversation so he doesn’t respond anymore. He’s certain you know why he finds you a pain in the neck. You constantly get on his grill with every opportunity you get. Maybe if you didn’t, he could actually tolerate your topsy turvy persona. But it’s as if it’s your personal mission to aggravate him.
“I’m putting the deal I offered during the trip,” you announce.
“What deal?” he asks as he starts typing bullet points of what should be done today so he can go home already.
“Forget I’m the annoying manager when it’s just us two. And I won’t deliberately piss you off.”
He types the last bullet point before returning his attention on you. “Then what? I suddenly become nice to you?”
“Hell no! I’m not asking for a fucking miracle. It’s not like you’re ever nice to anybody. Geez!” you explain derisively. “I just want us to have a conversation where you’re not giving me death glares.”
You give him a smile, one that lacks your usual haughtiness. Still, he can’t tell if you’re being serious or if you’ll actually manage to hold the deal you’re proposing. Truth be told, he wants it. He can’t handle you being your usual if you two have to meet beyond training hours and, even worse, in private.
If this keeps up, he might end up cursing this subject by the end of the semester, which would be a waste because likes this subject way too much for you to taint it with your idiocy.
“Deliver your end of the bargain. Then you’ll have mine.”
Your eyes twinkle with glee at his semi-approval. “We have a deal then.”
You go back to where you’re seated a while ago and proceed to start discussing at hand.
--
With the start of the game season, training has become more intense. Coach Mira had the team work on the weak points she identified with the help of the data you tallied from last season’s games.
“Kyoutani! Do not lower those arms just yet. Keep those elbows up when you block,” Coach yells at him, as Kogane spiked from the other side of the court.
She looks over at the other players practicing their jump serves. She furrows her brows at something. Following her line of sight, you see that it falls on Tsukishima.
On his next serve, the ball spins ferociously but is of low height that it hits the middle of the night.
“Y/n,” Coach calls out. She didn’t have to say anything else as she cocks her head to Tsukishima’s direction with a telling expression on her face. She’s asking you to handle him, and you know exactly why.
Before he can toss the ball for another jump serve, you yell out merrily which you know will definitely catch his ears, “ Tsukki!! ” and jog to where he is. His blank expression turns into a scowl when you reach him.
“Can you stop calling me that?”
“You’re so mean. Aren’t we close enough for me to call you ‘ Tsukki ’?.” You ask with a dramatic pout and exaggerated false woes that he visibly cringes after hearing it.
He doesn’t respond to your pretentious act. “Why are you here?”
You instantly lose the cheeky act and get to what Coach Mira wants to let him know. You’re just going to twist the words a bit to his ‘liking.’
This is the problem you noticed with Tsukishima, one worse than his rotten way of interacting with the team. He can be incredibly unmotivated at times, and when he is, he only gives the bare minimum amount of effort.
It’s the one thing you can say you truly dislike about him because he’s a professional athlete for crying out loud. It doesn’t matter if he’s unmotivated, uninspired, or doesn’t feel like trying. He should be disciplined enough to push himself to put as much work as he usually does when training.
“You’re not going to get those serves in with that half-assed attitude of yours,” you say sternly while you eye him with a threatening stare.
His face scrunches in utter displeasure. He’s well aware that he’s not feeling his best today and he’d rather do blocking drills for the whole raining than do ten consecutive jump serves.
“Since enthusiasm is the answer to everything else, why don’t you try it?” He bites back, which you obviously weren’t expecting. He’s always irritated when you point out his mistakes, but thus far he has always stayed silent.
Maybe the amount of time you’re spending together outside the gymnasium has made him reach the limit of his patience… which isn’t even a lot to begin with.
“Are you serious?” you ask incredulously.
Of course he wasn’t. You might have some sort of experience with volleyball (although he doesn’t know to which extent), but jump serves are difficult. The coordination of the toss and the run up to hit it at the right angle is aggravatingly hard to pull off, especially for him since jump serves need tons of practice.
He detests the practice for it; he needs to run, jump, and swing his arm over and over. It is boring and tiring for him because it is purely based on physical prowess, compared to practicing blocking where he’s actually thinking.
He thought you’d leave him alone when you stepped away. Instead, you come back with a ball in your hand. You dribble it off the floor with unbendable focus as if you’re trying to recall something.
“Are you serious?” he’s the one who asks this time. He was just fucking around. He didn’t expect you’d actually respond to his provocation.
“Yep,” you answer with your full concentration on the ball in your hand as you spin it vertically. Some of the players notice what you’re up to and briefly stop what they’re doing to watch.
You close your eyes and take a deep breath. You bat them open with burning determination before you toss the ball.
Instead of watching the ball, he watches your form. There’s no trace of awkwardness in your movements, almost like you’ve done this frequently before. The three-step approach is nearly perfect as you propel yourself up to jump.
The sharp sound of the ball hitting your hand causes the rest of the gym to look at you. The ball spins ferociously at a height he’s not sure is sufficient to get over the other side of the court. He wishes it won’t. That would be the second worst thing you could ever do to him, the first one being that certain occurrence he’d rather not think about again.
You falter on your feet when you descend from your leap but you immediately look up to see if your serve makes it. Everyone else, including him, is on the edge as they watch whether the ball will get in or not.
It roughly scrapes the edge of the net, effectively thwarting its velocity. Still, it bounces off and lands inside the opposing court, causing the rest of the team to cheer you on as the ball hits the floor.
You seem to forget for a short while that you did it to spite him as your face beams with inexplicable joy while his contorts with ire.
Even if the momentum of the ball was broken, you still managed to get it over - the one thing he hadn’t been able to do from his last eight attempts. Meanwhile, you did it on your first.
You definitely had a lot of experience in high school. No beginner can manage to do a jump serve like that, even if it was flawed.
‘Shit,’ he silently curses when you face him with a cocky grin disguised as a pleasant one.
“Who knew that my experience being an outside hitter and captain of my high school team would still be useful as your manager?” you ask as you slowly walk towards him.
He doesn’ expect that your knowledge about the sport came from first-hand experience. He thought you’re manager of another team previously or just a crazy volleyball enthusiast.
You pick up another ball and softly push it against his rib as you look up to him with contempt. “Don’t tell me I can do better than you,” you spur him on with squinted eyes.
He snatches the ball away from your hands and steps back from the serving line. He spins the ball one time and tosses it high. Instead of a three-step approach, he makes it a four to increase his vertical jump. He tosses it high enough and channels all his rage for you at the ball.
With how high he jumped, the ball easily goes over the net. Its trajectory curves when it crosses over and hits a spot a little bit just beyond the end line.
He clenches his fist at his another failed attempt despite exerting more than necessary effort for that shot. He avoids looking at you for he’d be put in an even worse mood if sees that taunting grin of yours.
But of course you had to make yourself seen and intentionally go in front of him with an impressed look in your face instead of a condescending one.
“That was great! Holy shit. It was just a smidge out. Wow.” You applaud him earnestly, and as much as he despises it, it makes him a little less bad about that missed shot.
“Can you leave me alone now?” He drives you away to fend off the stupid feeling. He’d rather you just walk away and don’t say anything. “Not like that serve mattered,” he mutters in annoyance.
“What are you talking about? It was awesome!” you yell out with your eyes shining with flagrant admiration, which annoyingly strokes his ego.
“Just a bit less and it would have been in a spot difficult to return,” you remark as you pat his shoulders approvingly before heeding his request to leave and go back to where Coach is.
“Sorry, Coach. I distracted everyone else,” you scratch your head with an apologetic smile when you return.
“I’d tell you off, but everyone seems more motivated now, so good work I guess,” she commends you with a satisfactory tone.
“He looks really pissed though,” Coach Mira adds as she glances at the blonde middle blocker.
“More than you know, Coach,” you reply with a wide smile as he serves another ball and gets it in this time.
--
Prior to your meeting with Tsukishima today, you proposed to finish the project as soon as possible so you can both focus on other other uni subjects on top of training hours. He immediately agreed, which didn’t surprise you because even though it’s not game season, you’re pretty sure he can’t wait to stop having to see you.
The project’s deadline is in three months, but you believe you can finish it in less than two if you meet up at least twice a week to work on it.
It should be okay, given that you both agreed to have a truce of some sort from the usual dynamic of your relationship. You actually think that it’s not going to work out smoothly, but you still suggested it with the hopes of decreasing his animosity towards you. Yes, it’s fun and amusing most of the time, but outside the gym where you’re just a classmate and not his manager, it’s kinda draining to deal with it.
“Won’t your roommate mind if there’s a stranger in your room?” he asks as he sits down and rummages through his bag.
“Oh.” You thought he already figured it out because he didn’t ask about it on his first visit. “Didn’t I tell you before? I don’t have a roommate.”
His eyes immediately go to your bunk bed that you didn’t bother getting replaced because it’s convenient when you’re too tired. You usually just mindlessly throw your stuff at the top bunk for a later clean-up.
“Wanted the whole room to myself,” you add.
“Spoiled, little rich brat, aren’t you?” He really doesn’t have much basis for his statement. He just wants to say something nasty and sneer at you because he wants to get back at how you called him out during training the other day.
When he meets your gaze, you raise an eyebrow at him, reminding him about your agreement while working on the project. He purses his lips to the side and returns to his passive expression without saying anything. You roll your eyes in response.
“Well if being a scholar while working as your manager is being a spoiled rich brat, then by all means. Do consider me one,” you answer before looking back on your screen.
He would have never thought you were a university scholar. You don’t look like the type. You’re way too carefree and all over the place. He would’ve thought it was a joke, if not for the tiny offended glint he caught when he said you’re a spoiled brat.
That’s exactly the reaction he wants to get from you, yet it didn’t feel satisfactory. On the contrary, it’s making him feel like a prick. He is being one, but he doesn’t expect to feel like one, especially towards you who does nothing but get on his skin.
Still, hell would freeze over before he apologizes. Instead, he prods on the topic.
“Why would you even work as a manager if you’re already a scholar?”
It doesn’t make sense to him. You don’t need the work if your university fees are already waived. It will just pile on to the academic requirements you will need to maintain.
Your hand stops scrolling on your mouse as your eyes soften, still remaining on your laptop. “Cause I love it,” you utter like it’s the simplest thing in the world.
The look in your eyes is instantly replaced by mockery when you lift them to meet his.
“Someone’s being inquisitive today.”
He gets his headphones out and plugs it to his laptop. He really is curious why you chose you to be their manager, but you just had to be an obnoxious bitch and break the agreement you offered to him just the other day.
He knows you’re too much of a chaos to actually pull it off, so instead of wasting his energy by being irritated by you for the day, he’d rather pretend you’re not there.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” you say loudly with a wide smile, yet he can see the sincerity of the apology through the slight panic in your orbs. You must have realized he’s had enough of your shit. “My bad. Old habits hard.” You laugh nervously.
You speak again when he puts down his headphones on the table. “I may have quit the sport, but I still love it. I love taking care of players like you guys who have the same passion for it.”
“Doesn’t seem like it’s worth it,” he comments with unheld honesty. You could have a lot of time off of your hands if you quit being their manager. You don’t even need the job.
You plant your hands on the floor and lean back as your gaze drifts to the photos of the team displayed on your desk.
“You might be right. A marine science student dedicating her time on sports even though she’s not an athlete? It does sound impractical. But,” you revert your eyes back to him as you continue on, “it makes me happy. That alone makes it worth it. Even if I don’t get paid, I’d still do it.”
Your face glows with pride and joy with your last statement, completely undeterred by his earlier cynicism. If anything, you look even more convinced that you’re doing the right thing.
He can’t tell if he finds it admirable or disturbing. Probably the latter.
“There’s more to life than just sleep, study, and survive, don’t you think?”
It was a rhetorical question that he would’ve still refuted if someone told him that years ago. Back in his freshman year in high school, he thought overzealous passion was stupid. Unless an individual is some sort of prodigy, it wouldn’t get them anywhere even if they keep trying to death.
Still, he put in a lot of work -- more than he should -- when he was playing in Karasuno. What was just a club became entirely something else for him, which, up until now, he still hasn’t put quite a finger on.
When he graduated from Karasuno, he wasn’t sure what to do. He wanted to continue playing, but there was a nagging feeling behind his head that he shouldn’t. He thought that that part of his life was already over and while it was good while it lasted, it was time to move one.
Yet, when he was handed out an application form for the university’s college team, he found himself grabbing the sheet of paper.
He didn’t have any reason to pursue it beyond high school. He knows he’s good, but he’s not that good. He was at university already. It was time to focus on his future and ignore the itch to hold the ball with five other players on his side of the court.
What’s even more absurd was the next day, he submitted the application form and tried out for the team. He said to himself it wouldn’t hurt to go on playing until he has finally had enough. He’d just ride it out until he got tired of it.
In his sophomore year, he was scouted by Sendai Frogs and that’s when he knew that the unreasonable passion he has for volleyball is not going to go away. Even now in his graduating semester, he’s still not ready to give it up.
He won’t admit it in your face, but, in a way, he can agree with what you just said. Life is more than just getting by and surviving. That’s the only reason he can think of to justify his choice to continue volleyball: so that he wouldn’t have this constant dissonance that pursuing the sport is a vacuous path he’s treading on.
“Anyways, back to work now, yeah?”
You smile briefly at him and return to the research you’re tasked to do. He puts his headphones back in his bag and gets back to his own task as well.
He thought all is well and you won’t pester him until you both finish what you’re supposed to accomplish for the day. Unfortunately, he thought wrong.
You suddenly close your laptop and start whining.
“Tsukki.”
As usual, he does his best to not acknowledge your existence.
“Tsukkiii, ” you whine louder.
For the love of God, you sound the most annoying when you use his nickname. Even though you’ve used it several times now, he’s still not used to it. In fact, he does not believe he will ever get used to it. Shimizu and Yachi not even once called him that, and they were more respectable managers than you are. Sort of. It doesn’t matter that you’re more active and hands on when managing the team.
“Tsuuuk -”
“What?!” You successfully manage to get his eyes off the screen.
“I’m bored,” you pout.
He glares at you unbelievably. What are you, a five-year-old?
“And that is my problem, how?” he asks with disdain.
“Aren’t you getting tired?” you ask back, unfazed by his blatant irritation. But then again, you never are.
He is getting tired too, but he’d rather drag his brains and eyes out than rest and extend the time he’s going to spend with you.
“Let’s take a break, please, ” you cry out with pleading eyes.
“I don’t care what you do. Just leave me out of it.” He puts his attention back on his laptop and looks for the journal article he found significant among the other tabs he opened.
“I’ll feel guilty if I see you still at it while I goof around,” you admit.
He really couldn’t care any less. None of what you’re blabbering about is any of his concern. If you keep at it, he’ll just take out his headphones again to drown out your childish whining.
“I know!” You suddenly perk up. “Let’s review for our quiz,” you suggest eagerly. “We have one tomorrow, right?”
He almost smirks at your suggestion, but he manages to suppress it. He’d rather not let you see that he’s pleasantly amused with your suggestion.
He didn’t expect that that was your idea of taking a break. He thought you were going to propose something completely absurd like watch stupid videos online because that’s something he could totally see you doing on your free time.
But yeah, he can definitely use a review. It would be a productive break from the strenuous researching and writing you two have been doing.
Even though he still hasn’t verbally agreed, you continue on. “To make it interesting, there’s a penalty for every wrong answer.”
He sits up straight, pushing his glasses closer to his face as you successfully gain his full attention. “What penalty?”
Your smile widens when you realize that he’s finally acknowledging your idea of taking a break.
“Okay, okay.” You rub your hands together in excitement before you clasp them together. “For every wrong answer you get, you need to say something nice about me. And of course vice versa.”
He scowls at the idea. “I prefer the opposite. Get the answer wrong and you get insulted. That sounds more of a punishment.”
You shake your head with your lips pressed into a thin line from disapproval. “Nope. If I get even one wrong answer. I’m sure you’ll get into a litany of rude shit you piled up against me over the years. And I’ll just sit here uncaringly receiving your fury. Does that excite you?”
Hell no. It will infuriate him even more if he throws something at you and you just take it apathetically. But he still doesn’t agree with your initial mechanics. It’s not fair to him.
“No, it doesn’t. But the consequence of a wrong answer is too easy for you.”
You place a palm on your chest and gape at him. “Me? Too easy for me ?”
You break into a boisterous laugh while still maintaining eye contact with him. He just stares back at you stupefied with no idea what you found so hilarious.
“Tsukishima,” you say after recovering from your disparaging hoots of laughter. “I can think of literally one nice thing about you. Maybe two if I tried hard enough,” you explain with your face still crinkled with the laughter you’re trying hard to contain.
If you’re trying to provok him to take on your challenge, you definitely succeeding. “Fine,” he hisses.
Your laughter is completely thwarted when your eyes widen with delight as he succumbs to your plan.
“Great! Okay, two more rules. One, objective questions only. Two, we can’t say anything that involves Volleyball. For example, you can’t tell me that I’m a great manager, because I’m very much aware of that already, okay?”
His frown only deepens from your conceitedness, only to realize that that’s the only aspect of you he’d consider complimenting you about.
“But there is nothing else nice about you other than that,” he says without any trace of sarcasm or ridicule, only stating what he considers the truth.
But you don’t take any offense in his statement. You’re expecting as much. That’s why you added two more rules to push the both of you to take the review seriously.
“Better not get anything wrong then,” you counter easily because it’s as simple as that. It’s a review just for a quiz after all. He shouldn’t be that worried.
“Thirty minutes to review. Then let’s start the quiz?”
You take that he’s fine with it since he closes his laptop and gets his set of notes from his bag.
You get your phone and set a thirty minute timer. You do just as he does and focus on your own notes, skimming over the last two chapters covered during lectures. You concentrate on your learning materials but the alarm sets off after what seemed like ten minutes to you.
You frantically check your phone to see if you put the wrong time, but you didn’t. Thirty minute have indeed passed.
When you glance at Tsukishima, he’s already looking at you with crossed arms and a self-satisfied smirk. He must have finished before the timer went off. He wouldn’t have that smug expression if not.
Even though you haven’t fully gone over the last parts of the lesson covered, you can’t help but be enlivened at how competitive he is. He must really hate losing.
You notice it too with the way he plays volleyball. He might look calm on the surface, but you know he wants to crush his opponents. And right now, that opponent is you.
His muted excitement affects you. Even though you’re not totally prepared, you’re confident with your own wits.
“Ladies first, so go ahead, Tsukishima.”
He clicks his tongue, his usual habit when he’s irked with something, but this one was forced to make it appear as if he didn’t like what you said. But you can tell that he doesn’t give a shit about that and he actually can’t wait to ask away just to so you can get it wrong.
Unfortunately for him though, you two are just exchanging questions when your mini game starts. He answers your questions without hesitation and you do just the same since most of his questions are in your own list that’s supposed to be for him.
“What’s the movable membrane found on the eyes of amphibians?” It’s his sixth question that has you racking your brain for the correct answer. When you don’t respond immediately, he sniggers like he’s already won.
But you do know the answer, or at least the first letter of it. It's the letter N. N-something membrane.
“Nictaling membrane,” you answer unsurely.
The spread of his wicked smile immediately tells you you’re wrong. “It’s nictating,” he corrects you.
“Oh come on! I’m just one letter off,” you strongly reason out.
“Yeah, and that would still be marked wrong in the actual quiz,” he refutes.
Damn it. He’s right. That one letter makes a whole lot of difference your professor will definitely not let go.
He places one elbow on the table and rests his chin at the back of his hand, keeping his eyes trained on you as he silently anticipates for you to pay the price of your penalty.
You bite your lip disquietly when you realize the rule you set was a double-edged sword for you can’t also think of anything nice to say about him. There’s that terrible attitude of his which is usually your source of fun, but not exactly something you can call nice.
You have something in your mind, but your pride won’t let you voice it out.
He starts tapping the table with his fingers. “You’re wasting both our time, y/n.”
You accept your defeat and tell him anyway. “Fine. I think you’re smarter than me,” you confess.
You expect him to agree unanimously, but instead he looks at you stupefied, blinking a few times without saying anything.
“But you’re a scholar,” he remarks. You’re not sure if he just disagreed with you or he’s just putting that fact out in the open.
“Well, yeah. But I’m just really good at studying and have good time management. You’re actually smart. You’re critical with stuff,” you explain.
You cheated a bit with your answer since most of your basis is from volleyball games. Although your trip last time is also proof of that. He provided really good input on how you should go about with the project.
“Okay! Moving on,” you proceed before he can comment further on what you just said and milk it to his benefit.
You ask another question, which he also knows that correct answer to. Originally, you just wanted a fun but effective way of reviewing, but now you kind of want him to get at least one question wrong so you can get even.
“What do you call the structure the lower vertebrae of anurans is fused into?” he asks another difficult question.
You rub your palms on your face, your frustration clouding your mind from recalling what it could possibly be. You push your hair back and sigh when you realize that you’re not getting this one either.
“I don’t know,” you surrender.
His current expression is the most lively one you’ve ever seen from him outside volleyball games, but it isn't a pleasant one. He looks like a villain whose evil master plan is coming to fruition.
Maybe you should’ve just agreed with his earlier suggestion to get insulted when you get it incorrectly. You would’ve just sit it out and brush it off afterwards, not make your brain hurt even more from thinking about non-existent good traits from the guy across your table.
You look around as you desperately try to think of something remotely nice about him.
“Oh,” your eyes meet his right the moment you recall that instance, and form a genuine smile as you remember it once more.
“It was real nice of you to let me lean on you on the way back to Miyagi last week.”
He removes his elbow from the table and fixes his posture, losing the lax and confident aura he had two questions ago.
“You would have woken up face down on the bus floor if I didn’t,” he says defensively as if what he did needs that explanation for it to be acceptable.
You honestly thought he’d rather let you fall flat on the floor. You’re about to ask him back then if he was sure, but you just accepted his angry, yet generous offer which you didn’t expect to come from him.
“I know. I just didn’t think you’d let me rest on your shoulder, so thanks,” you say earnestly, not a trace of your usual cheekiness present.
“It felt nice and comfortable” you add reservedly. You’ve been wanting to thank him but you didn’t know how to bring it up without being awkward for you’re only used to dealing with grouchy Tsukishima.
It’s only then you realize that despite his palpable dislike towards you, he’s not a complete asshole and still cared enough for your welfare that time.
He remains expressionless with his eyes drifting down to his notes, avoiding your gaze as he does so. “The answer is coccyx, also called urostyle,” he ushers back to the question you got wrong, dismissing what you just divulged, which you’re thankful for because you feel like fidgeting with what just dawned on you.
“My turn again then!” you said too loudly as you try to shake off the feeling and put your focus back on the review.
You read the only item left in your list, still hoping that he gets it wrong since this is the last.
“What part of the amphibian nervous system regulates heart and respiratory rates?”
Unlike previous questions, he doesn’t answer off the bat this time.
“You’re wasting both our time, Tsukishima,” you repeat what he said to you earlier even though it's only been seconds after you uttered your question.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself. I know the answer,” he declares with reassured confidence. “It’s the cerebrum.”
You decide to hold his gaze for two second before you burst his bubble. “Fucking finally!” you rejoice in his defeat.
“Close enough, Tsukishima. It’s the cerebellum,” you announce all too cheerfully.
He hurriedly gets his notes and cross checks if you’re actually telling the truth. You just watch him scramble with a very pleased smile on your face as he goes rigid.
“Fuck,” he mutters to himself. He must have seen that you were telling the truth.
You start squirming in your seat. Oh man, you’re way too excited to hear what he has to say about you. You want to egg him on, to tell him to hurry up but that might affect what he’s going to say so you force yourself to shut up.
He raises his gaze at you while you make sure you’re not smiling too wide to annoy him even though you’re reeling from anticipation.
He still doesn’t say anything, but you know he’s thinking based on the way he’s studying your face.
“You have a slightly above average face.”
You run that by again in your head, not understanding what he meant by it at first.
Above average face? Did he just say you’re pretty if translated from a socially incapacitated person’s language? Is that why he was staring so hard at you?
Of all the things he could choose to say something about, he decides to compliment your appearance? You know that you're a bit good-looking, but you don’t think he notices it. He doesn’t seem to be the type to care about that stuff.
Even when you first met, he just looked at you with a vacant expression and greeted you blandly out of courtesy while the rest of the team ogled at you. His apathetic eyes eventually turned scornful over time because of how often you pick on him, and despite that, he does acknowledge that you are pretty.
You’re used to being showered with admiration because of your face so you’ve developed a natural response to it: a gleeful smile with a spritely ‘aww, thanks!’
But with Tsukishima, it doesn’t kick in. Instead, you avert your gaze away from the unwanted fluttering in your chest. You can’t even look him in the eye as you try to collect yourself and think how you’ll respond to that without looking flustered.
What the heck is wrong with you? That could hardly be called a compliment. Now that you think about it, it actually sounded sort of like a product review with its lack of any fondness.
With that in mind, you manage to regain some of your composure and offer him a faint. “Um, thanks.”
Tsukishima looks at his two remaining questions he listed and even though he’s winning the game, he doesn’t feel victorious at all. Your confessions did nothing to make him feel good about himself. They were too sincere that they made him uneasy.
He also doesn’t like that he had to admit you’re pretty. He expected you’re gonna make a fuss about it. He actually would’ve preferred that than you being uncharacteristically embarrassed about it.
Something weird is definitely going on. You’re not acting like yourself and neither is he. There had been too many opportunities to badger you, but he just let them pass by. Same with you. You could have easily teased him about letting you know he finds you attractive.
“I’m out of questions,” he lies to end the damn review.
“Me too, actually,” you say with an apprehensive laugh.
So it’s not just him. You also feel the change in the atmosphere between you two. Your smile is uncertain and you look like you don't know what to do to remedy the situation -- that is, if you even know what’s wrong with it because he sure as hell doesn’t.
But even if he has no idea what’s going on, fortunately, he knows how to end it.
“I’m tired. I’m calling it a day,” he says as he starts packing up his stuff.
You seem to agree since you don’t say anything and just watch him collect his things. You only react when he stands up.
“Oh yeah. Sure!” You stand up as well.
“I can see my way out on my own,” he stops you when you start to head for the door.
You freeze on the spot then nod timidly. “Okay.”
As soon as he steps out and closes the door, you plop yourself back to where you were sitting. You grasp the edges of your table as you softly bang your head against it, gasping a heavy breath of relief when the air becomes undoubtedly lighter after he is gone.
“What the fuck was that?” you mumble with your cheek against the wooden surface.
Part 2 || Part 4 || masterlist
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#tsukishima x reader#tsukishima fluff#tsukishima smut#tsukishima angst#haikyuu x reader#tags pls work
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Double Heart | Chapter Sixteen ~ Cosima
|previous part|
Pairing: Haldir x OFC
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 3021
Warnings: None
A/n Every chapter, you all make me smile so much <3 Thank you!
Haldir leaves and I let out something halfway between an exhale and a groan.
What. Was. That.
My room, which is a very respectable size, felt like a matchbox as the space between Haldir and I minimized. He went from weeks of keeping a consistent physical barrier between us to ghosting his hands over my arms, my hips, my waist…It’s…new.
And when he held me close, his chest so nearly brushing against my back—
I shake my head against the onslaught of scenarios that run through my mind.
I should not be thinking of him this way.
Haldir is a friend, a guide, an instructor, nothing more.
I let out a deep breath and begin to pace, trying to work off this newfound energy. Haldir and I trained for nearly two hours, I should be exhausted. Instead, I feel wide awake, invigorated, jittery, like I couldn’t possibly go to sleep. I groan, taking my hair out of its bun and letting it fall around me. I stop in my tracks, glancing at the spot where Haldir and I stood so close together just moments ago.
I cannot stay here.
I tear through the open door, turning right and taking the staircase that leads to the first floor. I turn left and, before I know it, I’m standing in front of Alex’s closed door.
I knock.
The door creaks open. “Hey,” he greets, opening it wider to allow me in. “What’s up?”
“I uh,” I purse my lips, having not really thought through my plan. I do need a distraction though, and being out of my room is already helping clear the fog from my brain. My eyes catch a pile of books on his nightstand. “I came to help you research, if that’s okay.”
His face lights up. “Yeah! Yeah, of course. I’ve read those three so far,” he gestures to a small stack by the window, “and there’s nothing helpful in them. Everything else in English is fair game. Is there anything specific you want to look into?”
“Fæs.” I’m surprised that the answer comes to me so easily, but as soon I speak the word, I know it’s true — I do want to learn more.
Alex nods slowly. “Yeah, okay, I think I’ve got a couple books on that here. Let me….” He trails off, spinning in a circle as he searches for a specific volume. “Ah.” He squats down and grabs a book near the foot of his bed, reaching it up to me.
An image of Haldir, crouched on the ground, hand warm against my ankle, staring up at me with such intensity, so much confidence—
Alex stands and I look to the ceiling, trying to will away the image and the feelings that come rushing along with it.
“What makes you want to learn about fæs? Isn’t that an elf thing?”
I purse my lips, stalling until the embarrassment fades enough to look Alex in the eye. “Haldir mentioned that humans have their own version of a fæ — a little weaker, a little different, but generally the same concept.” An idea begins to take form, and I roll with it. “I was wondering if—assuming that our fæs remained unchanged between our homeworld and Arda—well, if we could use it somehow, tap into it and reclaim our memories. If anything were to remember, wouldn’t it be our spirits?”
Alex nods slowly, a grin tugging at the edges of his lips. “That’s actually not a bad idea. Great thinking! Let me know if you find anything.”
He settles into the couch, leaving the bed for me. Gratefully, I cozy up against the pillows. I open the book, skimming the introductory chapter, which is basically just a summary of the core concepts Haldir has already explained to me. When I’m on chapter three, the sky passes firmly into night, and even the plethora of candles Alex has lit aren’t enough to keep my eyes from straining.
I pull my knees to my chest and lean forward, glancing over at my friend. His cheeks — which had been gaunt when we first reunited, now take a healthy shape. His shoulders no longer hold vestiges of tension — they lean relaxed, leisurely, against the back of the couch. Even in the limited light, he squints his eyes and continues to read, seeming intent on soaking up as much knowledge as he can.
I rest my chin on my knees. “I need to ask you something.”
He looks up, his eyebrows drawing together in concern. “Okay?”
“Are you alright?”
He sighs, shifting in his seat. “Cosima…”
“No,” I protest. I don’t care if it’s uncomfortable, he needs to talk about things. He’s been bottling it up since he arrived in this world and it hasn’t done anyone any good. “I mean it.”
Alex groans, shaking his head. “Fine, okay. It’s…strange.” He pauses, but I wait, holding out hope that he’ll continue. He does so, slowly. “I’ve…gotten myself to accept that I’m in a different world, but I can’t wrap my mind around the how. That’s stressful. We don’t have a solid plan to return home, nor do we know if we’ll find one. That’s depressing. And, I have flashes and snippets of memories, but otherwise, I feel like I don’t know who I am.”
My heart breaks. Here my friend is, hurting, lost…
And I’ve left him completely alone.
Alex tilts his head to the side, contemplating. “But I do feel better than when we arrived, or even just from a few days ago. Having things to do, feeling useful and like I have agency for the first time…it’s really good for me. And, well,” he dips his head then raises it again, leveling his eyes on me. “It’s helped me realize something else — that I owe you an apology.”
I blink in surprise. I’ve been the one that has pretty much abandoned and ignored him. I should be apologizing.
“On the road, I said some pretty mean things, and I isolated you from your friends and tried to take control. I didn’t mean for it to be like that. I was…” he sighs, shaking his head, “scared out of my mind. I already felt like I couldn’t do anything to fix the problem, and then on top of that I felt like you had completely given up and it was my job to save us both. And I know now that’s not the case, but for a while…” He trails off, shrugging his shoulders. “You’re just more adaptable than I am, I guess.”
I push myself off the bed, cross the room, and sit next to him on the small couch. Automatically, he throws an arm over my shoulder, the movement so familiar and easy that he must have done it a thousand times before. I lay my head on his shoulder, the bone there pressing against my ear.
I take a deep breath. “If we had really been kidnapped, or injured, or anything more realistic than what actually happened,” he gives a small, tired laugh, the movement shaking his shoulder, “you would’ve been the one to get us out. I know it. Even now, you’re the one putting in all the hard work to get us home. I’m sorry I’ve pretty much left you to handle it alone.”
He squeezes my upper arm gently. “I appreciate it, but I don’t blame you. I get it.” He shrugs again, a measure of sadness creeping into his voice. “It’s not like you remember anyone enough to miss them. If you have people you like here, of course you’d focus on them.”
I feel my lips pull into a guilty frown. “They like you too, you know. You all just need to spend some more time together—”
“Nah,” he shakes his head, pushing a smile onto his face. “It’s okay, honestly — we just don’t click. But I have you, and Baranor and I get along well, and I have this project to work on. It’s enough for me.”
I sigh, resting my head against his chest. I hope that’s true.
{***}
At breakfast, Lavandil and I make plans to meet at her shop. She gives me directions and I hurry up the stairs to my room, changing out of my tunic and leggings and into something a little more fun for my first day of work. I settle on a dark purple gown, one that billows down my arm in puffy gossamer sleeves and has a slight, sparkly train. I’m probably a bit overdressed, but knowing Lavandil’s extravagant wardrobe, I’ll fit in just fine. I bound down the staircase, eager to discover the market and the shop. I turn left, intent on exiting the building.
And crash into the middle of someone’s chest.
Hands grip my upper arms, steadying me as I stumble back. Once I’m righted, I look up, and my mouth falls open.
“Cosima—”
“Haldir—”
Both of us freeze, having spoken at the same time. I purse my lips, waiting for him to go first. He raises an eyebrow, evidently expecting the same of me.
But I can’t make the words happen. His hands on my arms send my mind right back to the tension of last night, to the room that started light and open and turned more intimate than it should as the night went on.
Haldir’s arms fall to his sides. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you turning the corner. Are you alright?”
I nod, my eyes darting from his chest clothed in a cobalt blue tunic up to his eyes. The intensity from last night is gone, now replaced with a noticeable degree of hesitance.
Interesting.
Did he feel something last night, too? Or does he know I did, and now feels awkward around me?
That last thought sends a wave of stress through me. Was I horribly obvious? Have I messed everything up?
“Are you off to Lavandil’s shop,” he inquires, pulling my mind away from these anxiety-inducing thoughts.
“Yes.”
He quirks a smile. “Then I imagine you will be seeing a lot of my brother today. He has a tendency to hang around there.”
“Probably a result of him being in love with the shop-owner,” I quip, voice going high with nerves.
He raises an eyebrow. “Yes, I suppose that would do it.”
We fall into awkward silence.
Haldir clears his throat. “Well, enjoy your day.”
“You too,” I nod, crossing paths with him to exit the building.
Once outside, I take in a gulping breath.
Did I create all that weirdness? Or is he struggling to figure out how to act around me, too? And why?
Things have never been strained or awkward between myself and Haldir. Once he got over his initial suspicion of me, we got along easily. I feel like he understands me better than the others and, if I had to pick a favorite, as Rumil prompted me not so long ago, it would be, without question, the supposedly-stern Marchwarden leading our company. And, based on the amount of time he spends with me of his own accord, I would say he enjoys my presence, too.
So, that begs the question, what could have happened to turn all that ease on its head and replace it with stilted, awkward, unsure interactions? We were fine until last night—
I suck in a breath.
My brain, apparently useless until I looked the issue straight in the eye, starts piecing together instances of my time with Haldir, forming a terrifying and exhilarating picture.
Sleeping between me and the entrance to our camp so I wouldn’t be frightened. Spending hours alone with me lying on a blanket staring up at the stars. The way he panicked and looked after me when I had my migraine. Big things like that and smaller ones, too — the way he teases me, the way he always makes sure I’m cared for, whether that means sharing from his canteen or sending me with food when I’m likely to miss dinner. The way he’s conscious of my fears—heights, orcs, you name it—and provides support without coddling me, enabling me to handle and face them on my own. The way his arms, so gentle yet so secure, held me close, even for just the smallest of moments.
Could we…have feelings for each other?
Could this rapid and strong attachment to an ellon I met mere weeks ago be something other than friendship?
With a sinking feeling in my gut, the momentary rush of excitement falls into something much more sinister. Something that, in any other world would be a wonderful, thrilling feeling—the one I am developing feelings for maybe, potentially, might see me the same way—is here, horrifying.
Because elves live forever and love only once.
And a human lifespan is dismally short.
Rumil’s face after our conversation yesterday, crestfallen and saddened, comes to my mind.
If my mere friendship with these ellyn will cause them grief when I’m gone, then even entertaining these thoughts about Haldir….
It’s deplorable.
From the heart of the city, the bell chimes. I’m late to meet Lavandil.
I shove down the ache that makes my lips quiver and hurry down the path that will lead me to the market.
The distraction of working with Lavandil will be my lifeline.
I cannot allow my feelings for Haldir progress any further. So, though I’m not sure how effective I’ll be, I swear not to think about him for the rest of the day.
{***}
“What happened last night between you and Haldir?”
Damn.
I made it two hours.
I swallow, trying to seem busy as I hang a tapestry on a display. “What?”
Lavandil comes up beside me, using her height to hang the art properly. “Rumil told Orophin who told me that Haldir came back from training with you and seemed quite flustered.”
My body runs hot. “Did he?”
“Mhm,” she nods decisively. “Apparently he returned to the room in a rush, wouldn’t say a thing, and then spent over three hours at the training grounds, sparring quite harshly with some of the guard.”
Even though the tapestry is hung, I pretend to fuss with it, not brave enough to meet Lavandil’s eyes. “Nothing happened. Maybe he just wanted a better workout — I can’t imagine I was much of a challenge.” I try for a joke, and mercifully, she gives me a pity laugh.
Her demeanor softens. “Cosima, you know there’s nothing wrong with having an attraction, or even feelings.”
“Of course there’s something wrong with it,” I shriek, much louder than I meant to. I look at her with wide eyes, surprised by my outburst.
Thankfully, no one is in the shop, and Lavandil only regards me with calm eyes, no judgement in them.
“I’m sorry,” I hurry to apologize, sitting myself in a chair at a nearby table. On top of it sits a beautiful garnet tablecloth — Lavandil’s work. She sits across from me.
“It’s alright,” she smiles kindly, resting her elbows on the table to mirror me. “I had a similar disposition when I realized I loved Orophin.”
“I don’t love him,” I correct quickly.
She puts her hands up in the sign for surrender, though her bottom lip pulls like she’s trying not to make a face.
“I don’t,” I insist, putting effort into keeping my tone non-angry. I lower my voice, worried, perhaps irrationally, that Haldir himself will go waltzing by and hear my dreadful confession. “It’s, at most, an interest, and probably not even that. Likely more of a curiosity.”
“Well, interests are nothing to be ashamed of.” Her tone matches my low volume and carries in it a gentleness I could never hope to emulate.
“Yes, they do!” My voice drops to nearly a whisper. “Lavandil, he is an elf. You know I’m human. The two don’t mix well.”
She huffs. “There’s nothing to say that. An elleth here, Arwen—”
“Is walking into a tragedy,” I cut her off.
Lavandil’s eyes narrow. “Too many people see it that way, and it is getting quite old. Do you know what I see? Two souls in love. Though their futures are bleak and incompatible, their presents are filled with joy and love and the connection that can only come from two fæs who want each other so badly finally bonded. They would still face pain if they ignored their love for each other — so why not give themselves what joy they can?”
“But she will die—”
Now it’s Lavandil’s turn to interrupt. “Arwen is fully grown. She is wise, and I trust that she knows herself well enough to make the choices she has. Her life is ultimately her own. She can spend it how she pleases.”
I press my lips together, head falling to stare at the deep red tablecloth. Despite Lavandil’s conviction, her words do nothing to allay my fears.
The only thing that awaits an elf bonded with a human is grief and death.
Arwen may have made her choice, but so have I made mine.
“Rumil said elves can take centuries to fall in love. Is that true?”
Lavandil pauses, caught off guard with my change in topic. “I-in some cases, yes. More that it could potentially take that long for an elf to admit they are in love. Often, even if they are not ready to accept it, their fæs know. And even then, that is the timeline in the most rare of cases. You know, for Orophin and I it only took a matter of—”
I raise my eyes to her, pleading. “Lavandil.”
She sighs, staring at me like she wishes I had asked her something else. “Fine, yes. Elves fall slower than humans.”
I take in a deep breath, nodding.
Good.
Because if I have only just noticed these feelings, chances are, if Haldir were to follow suit, he is way behind. The instance Lavandil described from last night, the other hints that show he might be feeling something…I can end them now.
I have time to stop this.
I have time to save him.
A/n So, funny thing, @errruvande got pretty close to guessing Cosima’s reaction to realizing her feelings for Haldir, so shout out to Liza!!! Seriously though, love her, love her blog, I’d definitely recommend checking her account out! Thank you all for reading!
|next part|
|masterlist|
Tolkien tag list: @anangelwhodidntfall @eru-vande
Haldir tag list: @tolkien-apologist
Double Heart tag list: @lainphotography @themerriweathermage @thophil2941btw @kenobiguacamole @wishingtobeinadifferentuniverse @from-patroclus-with-love @boywivlove @ordinarymom1 @my-darling-haldir @sweet-bea-blossom @moony-artnstuff
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I read your Grian and Zed oneshot and could I pretty please get another one (maybe a sequel, maybe not) with Worm man, Poultry man, and EX? We need the sidekick boi here too ;3
I’m so sorry this is so late! I’ve had a rough couple of days and this one ended up being a lot longer than I expected lol but anyway, here we are! Hope it’s good!
…
Sitting on top of the billboard in the shopping district are Hermitcraft’s two superheroes, keeping an eye on the goings on. It seems to be a fairly quiet day, however; the last person either of them saw was Scar disappearing into the town hall over an hour ago. But the two are just having fun hanging out up here, so they continue keeping watch over the district, while munching on the half stack of golden carrots Grian brought with him.
“Soo… which one of us is the sidekick?” asks Grian out of the blue.
Zedaph shoots him an amused look. “Why does one of us have to be the sidekick? Can’t we be partners?”
“I mean, yeah, true. But if one of us HAD to be the sidekick, which one would it be?”
“Probably you, cuz I’ve been a superhero a season longer than you.”
Grian pauses. “Honestly, that’s not the answer I was expecting but it does make sense.”
Zedaph gives a laugh. “Good. Trust me, we don’t need a sidekick. If I was on my own, maybe I’d consider getting another one, but a partner is even better than a sidekick.”
In the ensuing pause, Zedaph realises what he said. Unfortunately, Grian has also picked up on it. “Another one? What do you mean?”
“Ah…” Zedaph clears his throat. “Doesn’t matter.”
“No, I wanna hear this. You had a sidekick?”
Zedaph searches his brain for either an excuse to not reply or a false explanation that Grian will buy. When he finds neither, he gives a quiet sigh. “Yeah, but it didn’t end well. Or start well. Or go well for that matter.”
“Oh, jeez.” Grian frowns sympathetically. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Look, let’s just say I was naive and I thought he was good but he wasn’t. I came out of it looking and feeling very stupid, so I’d rather not have a repeat of that.” After a moment, he gives a smile. “That’s why I’m glad I have a partner who I already know and trust.”
“Aww.” Grian nudges him with his elbow. “Do you mean me?”
Zedaph snickers. “Nope, sorry, I mean Professor Beak. Best partner I’ve ever had.”
Grian exaggerates a pout and gently strokes the parrot sitting on his shoulder. “Wow.”
But as he starts to say something else, he spots a familiar figure walking through the shopping district. His face lights up. “Oh, look who it is! Zed, c’mon, I gotta introduce you to this guy.”
He jumps down from their perch and rushes towards the person, followed closely by a curious Zedaph. “Hey! Hey, EX!”
The figure turns and that’s when Zedaph recognises them with a jolt. That name, coupled with that familiar red helmet… It can’t be… can it…?
He quickly scoots behind a tree as Grian stops in front of the person, beaming. “Hey! It’s been a long time!”
Evil Xisuma, now going by the name EX, smiles at him. “Hey, Grian. Yeah, it’s been a while.”
“Grian? I see no Grian here,” says Grian innocently.
EX chuckles. “Oh yeah. Sorry, Mr Poultry Man. You out here patrolling?”
“Yup! Keeping watch over the server with my new partner!” Grian turns to introduce Zedaph to EX but frowns as he realises Zedaph is gone. “Uh… Zed? Where’d you go?”
“Wait…” EX freezes as they recognise the name. “Zedaph…?”
Grian spots his friend hiding behind a tree a few blocks down the path. “Zed, what are you doing?”
Realising he can’t hide any longer, Zedaph slowly emerges from behind the tree and approaches the two, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “Hello.”
Grian frowns, sensing the tension between them. “You know EX already?” he asks slowly.
Zedaph holds EX’s gaze for a moment but has to turn away. “Yeah. I knew him a long time ago.”
EX shifts their feet awkwardly, causing Grian to step forwards, clearing his throat. “EX goes by they/them pronouns now.”
Zedaph glances at EX, who looks away from him. He wonders whether EX was too scared to correct him themself. Has it really been so long that EX can’t be as open around him as they used to be?
Finally, he turns back to Grian. “They used to be my friend but that was a long time ago.”
“It WAS a long time ago, wasn’t it?” EX says quietly.
“Just over three years. Since we last teamed up, anyway.”
EX sighs quietly. “Listen, I’m sorry I left you. I was just feeling so guilty that you believed I was a good person and I couldn’t continue that lie, but I couldn’t exactly tell you the truth either, could I?”
“I only believed you were a good person because that’s what you told me,” Zedaph retorts. “But it doesn’t matter. I’m not angry at you anymore, I’m angry at myself. For being so stupid as to not realise why you were able to break me out of that prison so easily.”
“Oh.” EX hesitates, realising now why Zedaph is being so careful around them. “When did you find out?”
Zedaph’s shoulders slump. “After X banned you. I begged and begged him to reconsider but he refused. You have no idea how long I cried, how many sleepless nights I had, when X told me the truth about you. My friends got hurt because I was too naive to realise that the person I was calling my sidekick was actually a villain.”
“Zedaph, you- you have every right to be angry at me for that,” EX says quietly. “But I’ve changed now, I promise.”
“I can vouch for them,” Grian chimes in. “They’ve been helping me with building projects on and off for a couple of weeks. During that time, they told me a bit about their past and I can tell they’re not who they used to be.”
Zedaph gives his friend a look. “Did they tell you about their shared past with me?”
“No, they only-.”
Grian breaks off, glancing from Zedaph to EX, as the penny finally drops. “Oh… EX is the former sidekick you were referring to, aren’t they?”
Zedaph and EX both nod slowly.
“I was a far better sidekick than I was a villain, honestly,” admits EX quietly. “I feel like I took to being good much quicker than I did to being evil.”
“You did,” Zedaph agrees. “But that still didn’t stop you from getting yourself banned.”
“I-I’ve made some mistakes, that much is true. In fact, a LOT of mistakes. But that’s exactly what I’m back here to do: I’m here to prove to myself, Xisuma, and the rest of the server that I can be a good person.” They clasp their hands together in an anxious gesture that Zedaph recognises from when they worked together. “And I want to prove it to you too, Zedaph.”
Zedaph hesitates, watching his old friend with a conflicted look.
At that moment, however, Grian and Zedaph’s communicators go off with three messages in quick succession.
<Xisuma> trapped by Wither!!!
<Xisuma> one heart no food left!!!!
<Xisuma> help!!!!!
“Looks like this is your chance to prove yourself,” Grian says, patting EX on the shoulder. “Xisuma needs our help and we’re gonna go save him. Coming?”
EX doesn’t even hesitate. “Yes, I’m coming. Let’s go.”
…
The group follow X’s given coordinates to an underground tunnel in a remote part of the server. As they get closer, they can hear menacing sounds, followed almost immediately by a loud explosion.
“Uh oh!” Grian picks up speed. “Quickly, guys!”
They burst through an opening in the tunnel, only to find themselves immediately confronted by a half-health wither.
“Move!” Zedaph screeches.
He shoves EX to one side and Grian dives to the other as the wither fires a burst of exploding skulls at them.
As EX scrambles to their feet, they spot Xisuma squished into a small gap in the wall, clutching a clearly cracked shield in his hand. His eyes widen visibly as he spots his evil counterpart.
EX winces. They’re not supposed to be here; they were banned several months ago, and Xisuma knows that. He is the one who banned EX.
But before they can interact with their counterpart, they’re forced to duck under another burst of skulls and scramble for a safe nook on the other side of the cave.
Meanwhile, Grian and Zedaph are hacking away at the wither, but they’re making slow progress; the wither keeps attacking back, forcing them to retreat to avoid getting hit.
“X, get outta here, quickly!” Grian yells.
Xisuma hurriedly squeezes himself out of the crevice and dashes for the exit to the cave. However, because of his low health, he knows he has to be careful on the uneven rocky ground.
Just as he gets to the cave mouth, his foot drops into a small gap created by one of the wither explosions and his ankle rolls, causing him to pitch forwards with a yelp.
“Xisuma!” Zedaph screeches, as he and Grian are forced to retreat to avoid a barrage of skulls.
Unexpectedly, the wither twists mid-air and fires off three skulls. The first two sail over Xisuma’s head but the third is heading straight for him.
A split second before it hits him, EX dives in front of him and takes the skull to the back, propelling them past Xisuma and into the stone wall of the cave.
“EX!” Zedaph screeches.
“Zed, look up!” Grian yells suddenly.
Zedaph does so, just in time to see Grian tossing his sword back to him. Taking a deep breath, he leaps up and forward, catching his sword mid-air, and brings the weapon down on the wither. The critical hit takes the last bit of its health.
He lands neatly on the ground and uses EX’s fallen shield to protect himself and Xisuma as the wither explodes in a burst of light.
As Grian rushes over to help Xisuma, Zedaph dashes to EX’s side. The wither effect has worn off but EX is clearly still in pain; even though Zedaph can’t see their face, their muscles are visibly tense.
“EX, can you hear me?” Zedaph asks worriedly. “Are you alright?”
For one horrifying moment, there is silence. Then:
“‘M fine.”
Zedaph breathes out in relief. “Jeez, you scared me. What were you thinking? You could’ve died and we both know you won’t respawn.”
“I-I wasn’t thinking.” EX sits up, with Zedaph’s help. “I just… acted.”
“Well, you saved me from a painful death,” says Xisuma, giving his counterpart a sympathetic look. “I just don’t understand why you would save me, after our history.”
“I, um…” EX hesitates. “I was inspired to be a better person recently, and when I saw you were in trouble, I just… didn’t let myself hesitate.”
“Really?” asks Xisuma in surprise. “Who inspired you?”
EX gives a small smile. “Two friends who mean a lot to me. But…” They pause, taking in a deep breath. “I know I’m not actually meant to be back here, so I do completely understand if you ban me again.”
To their surprise, Xisuma immediately shakes his head. “I’m not going to do that. For one thing, you just saved my life. But more importantly, I sensed a change in you the second I saw you today, Exy. A very positive change. If these friends of yours on Hermitcraft caused that change, then there’s no way I’m gonna stop you from being around them. But I WILL be keeping a close eye on you, of course.”
“O-Of course.” EX covers their visor with their hands, eliminating any chance that the others might notice the tears that have sprung to their eyes. “Thank you, Xisuma.”
Xisuma places his hand on his counterpart’s shoulder. “No, thank YOU, Exy.”
He glances at Grian and Zedaph, who are watching together a few blocks away. “You two superheroes better get back up there and change before someone notices you’re missing.”
“I want EX to come with us,” Zedaph responds. “Please.”
Xisuma watches him steadily for a moment before nodding. “Okay. I just need to do some admin things to make sure their code isn’t still recognised as being banned, so they’re able to respawn in this world if they die.”
“Thanks,” says Zedaph gratefully. “Could you also let the server know of the situation?”
“Will do. Careful on your way back.”
The three make their way back up towards the surface, leaving Xisuma behind in the raggedly destroyed hole.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” asks Zedaph, noticing EX shivering.
EX nods. “I’m fine. Just leftover wither effect, that’s all. I’m used to floating around in the void, not having the life sucked out of me.”
To their surprise, Grian chuckles. “Being back on Hermitcraft, you’re gonna have to get used to all kinds of effects. But hey, don’t worry: we’ll be here to help you through it.”
“All of it,” adds Zedaph warmly, slinging his arm over EX’s shoulder.
A smile slowly spreads over EX’s face as they feel the warmth of being enveloped on either side by two friends. For the first time, they feel safe and cared for. They’re about to start their new life on Hermitcraft.
And there’s no two people he would rather start it with.
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Wanda and the life she deserved (she’ll make sure about it) Epilogue
Summary: thank you for everyone for reading this story! Remember to read the end notes for the surprise I was talking about!
Previous parts: chapter 1, chapter 2 , chapter 3, chapter 4, chapter 5, chapter 6, chapter 7, chapter 8, chapter 9, chapter 10, chapter 11, Epilogue
Chapter 12: Epilogue
And that was it. Everyone she cared about was gone. She stood in the foundation of her house; her grief so strong it made her numb. She pulled up the hood of her vest desperately wanting to be left alone. Monica soon joined her side.
“You did it,” she remarked, “you actually did it.”
Wanda didn’t answer, she just pressed her lips together and nodded in agreement. She had seen many movies and shows portraying people fixing their mistakes as a good thing, something that made them feel better. She couldn’t relate. She simply felt like disappearing into the unknown and never being seen again.
“You know, I don’t think I would have had the strength to do it, had it been me,” confessed Monica. “I would have done anything to get my mother back, I can only imagine what you’re going through.” The woman gently put her hand on Wanda’s shoulder, making sure to be slow enough so she wouldn’t intrude her personal space. When no protests came, she squeezed lightly. “I’m here for you if you need me.”
As they reached the town square, Wanda did her best to ignore the hateful glare of the citizens she had tortured over the last week. She wished she could tell them she didn’t know, but she was sure no apologies would be enough. Lost in her self-deprecating thoughts, she was surprised when Monica spoke once again. “So, who was the guy who played your brother? We never could identify him. Yet I can see that his family found him.”
Wanda didn’t answer as she looked up at the X-Men. Her brother was deep in conversation, probably telling them about his time in the town. She quickly changed outfits, feeling more comfortable in her newest costume. The Scarlet Witch, as Agatha called her; she liked the name. She was about to fly away when Peter suddenly appeared at her side.
“Wanda, don’t go.”
She froze in place; he didn’t seem mad at her, but she didn’t want to push her luck. Hatred came in many forms. Since she wasn’t talking, Monica spoke up.
“Hi again, I don’t know if you remember, we escaped the witch’s house together?”
Peter chuckled and nodded. “I do, that was wild.”
Wanda could feel Monica’s question, and the hesitation that came with it. “I know I’ve asked you before, but who are you?”
The silver haired man looked at the redhead, silently asking for permission. She couldn’t figure out why he’d even care about her opinion, but she nodded, nonetheless.
“I’m Peter Maximoff, I’m from a different universe.”
That certainly took the S.W.O.R.D. agent by surprise, she looked at both of them, wondering if it was a joke. She had many more questions, but she felt that the Maximoffs needed to talk. With a nod, she walked away to join an Asian man. Probably a friend of hers. That left Wanda and Peter alone, both wondering how to start the conversation.
“So,” started Peter, scratching the back of his neck. “Thanks for releasing me.”
Wanda scrunched her face in shame, why had she even thought it was a good idea? “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking clearly. I just wanted my brother back and you already wanted to leave, and I just couldn’t-“
“Hey, it’s alright. I mean, obviously it wasn’t fun, but it wasn’t as bad as witchy over there,” he said, pointing at Agnes who was seemingly flirting with police officers. “You wanted me there, so I wasn’t really controlled, I was just sure I was Pietro Maximoff.”
Running a hand through her hair and taking a deep breath to shake away her teary eyes, she finally looked at him in the eyes. “So, you’re not... mad?”
Peter blinked and cleared his throat, “Well, obviously I’m not pleased, but I think I would have done the same thing, had I been given a chance to see Wendy again.”
They walked over to a secluded bench that somehow hadn’t been destroyed by the battle. Wanda kept fidgeting with her fingers, the occasional glares of people mixed with the grief and guilt she felt made an interesting combination of emotions. Peter pulled her into a hug, and she held on for dear life, not wanting to be alone again. “I like the outfit by the way,” whispered Peter in her ear. “Might not believe me but it’s very similar to my dad’s. Irony of the multiverse I guess.”
She couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped her lips, he soon laughed too, and let go of her. He looked around the town, taking in the situation.
“You know, it might not have been real, but our little life was good,” commented Peter. He looked at his team, “I didn’t have any superhero duty to think about or daddy issues to deal with. It was simple.”
Wanda looked at him, not sure if he was being serious, when she realized he was, she simply nodded. “Yeah, that’s why I wanted this. I’ve never had a shot at a normal life, not since I was 10 years old.”
Peter smirked in agreement, looking a little lost in thought for a moment. “Yeah, I remember, your life wasn’t easy, uh?”
The redhead suddenly widened her eyes, realizing the weight of his statement, “oh, I’m so sorry, I can remove his memories from your head if you want.” She tried to put her hands on his temple, but he shook his head.
“Nah, I’m good. I’ve had enough people messing in my mind for a century. Plus, I’m not really sure where my memories end and his starts.”
Wanda was left feeling even more guilty, how did she even think that it was a good idea to keep him? She looked at the ground once again, why could she never do things right?
“So... where will you go?” Asked Peter. “Cause I know how this usually goes, you leave in a remote place, isolate yourself and either build a new life or you get even worse than what your current low point is.” Wanda looked at him, raising an eyebrow. He chuckled as he raised his hands in front of him, “hey, you might be from another universe, but my dad basically did the same thing.”
She thought about her options, she had considered isolating herself, she had Agatha’s book after all, she wanted to study it. Before Peter stopped her from leaving, she truly wanted to be left alone. Knowing he didn’t hate her changed things. She wanted him by her side, willingly this time. After a minute or two of waiting, he spoke up, scratching his nose anxiously. “You... you could come with us, if you want.”
She turned her head towards him, eyes wide at the proposition. He gently took her hand and got to his feet. “From what I gathered here; you’re sort of a wanted person? No one knows you in my universe. Plus, powers like yours aren’t unheard of, you’d fit right in!”
He didn’t let her respond as he dragged her to his team. Anxiety was building up in her stomach, how would they react? She had, after all, kidnapped one of their members, even if accidentally. After a quick discussion with the bald man, the professor as he called himself, it was settled that she’d leave with them. The two blue people were polite, but obviously still suspicious of her. Peter’s father was, well, pissed to say the least. He didn’t talk to her and barely acknowledged her when she told them she’d create a portal to get them in their universe. She wasn’t sure how she had already mastered universe hopping, but she assumed it had to do with the scarlet witch thing Agatha had mentioned. After saying goodbye to Monica, who seemed glad Wanda had found people like her, they were off. Portal jumping wasn’t a pleasant experience, but it didn’t feel as bad as the first time she experienced her brother’s superspeed. The first thing she noticed upon arrival was the giant mansion, followed by the dozens of children freely expressing their gift.
That nearly made her breakdown right there.
She adjusted quickly, even made friend with a girl possessing similar powers named Jean Grey. It took a while for Mystique and Nightcrawler to fully trust her, but they eventually did. Erik still blamed her, but he had stopped glaring at her every time she came into a room. She had also learned to astral project herself, giving her more time to study the spell book. It had given her insight she never thought existed.
She had grown closer with Peter, who had confessed one day that his birth name truly was Pietro. They had both lost a twin and while they were both aware that it wasn’t the same; dealing with it together had helped them. Also, being the only people who truly knew Vision and the twins, they felt it was only right to grieve them together as well. Both had had their moments where they tried to talk to them, waiting for an answer, only to realize that they were speaking to shadows. It hadn’t really gotten better; Peter missed his nephews and Wanda missed her family.
Sometimes, when the mansion became too much, she preferred to keep herself in her room. In those time, she usually used it to study the Darkhold and it’s secret. That’s what she was doing, in the middle of the night, when voices pierced her concentration.
“Mom!” Screamed Billy. She gasped as she heard her son in her head. It was Tommy’s voice who followed, “mom, help us!”
Her eyes widened in shock. Her children were alive, they were somewhere. She snapped out of her trance, her mind returning to her body that was laying in her bed. She ran out of her room to join Peter who was listening to music on his Walkman. He looked at her, questions in his eyes, she smiled at him.
“Tommy and Billy, I hear them.”
In a blur, he was in front of her, his hands on her shoulders, hope gleaming in his eyes. “Really?”
Wanda nodded, barely able to contain her excitement, “really.”
In less than five seconds, Peter had packed a bag and was holding it at his side. He offered his hand to Wanda, who gladly took it. He grinned, “let’s go get the rugrats.”
***
Notes: so it’s done! I hope you guys liked it!
As for the surprise, both my father and girlfriend wanted to know more about how the X-men got to Westview so I wrote another fic of their point of view! I’m nearly finished writing it, and it should be about 30k words. Each chapter being approximately 3k words. Now, question is, when and how often should I publish it? I had thought about publishing it every Sunday, unless there’s a day where it’s easier for you guys to read.
#evan peters#peter maximoff#pietro maximoff#wandavision#wanda maximoff#wanda and pietro#elizabeth olsen#x men universe#quicksilver#marvel#x men quicksilver#xmen#marvel universe#marvel fanfiction#wandavision fix it#wandavision fanfic#wandavision spoilers#multiverse twins#scarlet witch#wandavision agatha harkness#agatha harkness#vision#monica rambeau#billy maximoff#tommy maximoff#charles xavier#erik lensherr#magneto
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A Mixed Blessing
Chapter List
chapter eight: starting to rust
a/n: Just barely coming in at under a month, oops. I think I’m going to take a break from this one for now, it seems to be a little too much while my thoughts are occupied with school things. When I planned this all out originally, this chapter was a possible ending point but then I got ambitious and there’s quite a bit more plotted out after this. But it might be a while before I come back to it, we’ll see. Anyway, thanks for coming along for all the torture, I know it wasn’t a pleasant time but the hurt can be nice occasionally? I’ll try to write something a little kinder in the future. Warnings for all the same things —substances, abuse, some very dark thoughts and themes. ~5.7k
Aaron tries to keep it all together but the world is indifferent.
He tried to stay away, he really did. As if he could see into the future, he could imagine how quickly he would tarnish her smile, could picture it fading right in front of him. He had nightmares where Haley sat, unresponsive and slowly dissolving. But she was insistent, seeking him out, towing him along with her through her day. She’d find him at lunch and push half a sandwich at him once she realized he hadn’t brought anything to eat. Brought him along after school to loiter in the sun with the other theater kids killing time between the end of class and the start of rehearsals, loudly asserting their presence on the world. Aaron hung back, uncomfortable around such casual chaos, everyone moving too fast, speaking too loudly. Compared to his world, Haley’s life was bright, unrestrained, and viscerally present. He didn’t fit there. He stuck out in his silence, dressed in his dark clothes, still too big on him though he was finally starting to grow.
The other kids eyed him suspiciously, muttering quietly about him when they thought he couldn’t hear. Only Haley’s position at the top of whatever social apparatus they operated by kept them from outright excluding him. He didn’t mind too much, he’d heard worse, what did he care what these kids thought of him anyway? What did they know with their golden lives, their excitement, their expectations for the future? Haley’s people believed that the world was for them, would provide what they wanted when they wanted. He found it odd, watching them as they screeched and tackled each other, a blur of color so jarring he had to squint.
He could feel how his difference was noted, their eyes making the back of his neck itch. More than once he tried to disappear but every time Haley slipped her hand into his, squeezing gently, pulling him back toward the group. She’d smile, encouraging, her belief that it would all work out, that he could assimilate given enough time, was unwavering. Her optimism baffled him, sometimes even irritated him. He would inevitably feel guilty about that. Surely it was ungrateful for him to find fault in this girl who had welcomed him when there was absolutely no need for her to do so.
Not everyone was tolerant of Aaron’s presence. The drama teacher regarded him with suspicion, allowing him to stay but making it clear that she was doing him a favor. It helped that he was able to sing, shoring up the weak lower register of the female dominated cast. He was given a minor role, nothing too complicated, nothing that would embarrass them if he failed, as she assumed he would. Some of the other kids caught on to this disapproval, emboldened by it they became less subtle in the ways that they mocked him. Aaron tried to mind his own business, even skipping out on rehearsals when the attention became too much. But Haley inevitably found him, running to catch him after school as he tried to escape out a side door. She dragged him back again and again, refusing to give up on him. Insisting she had seen something special, something she thought she could coax out if given enough time—like a stray dog, so used to mistreatment that he bristled when people came near but still craved affection.
He followed reluctantly, acutely conscious of the growing dislike, mutiny thickening the air. Everything was too sharp these days, he’d lost his sources for getting high. All he had were his cigarettes, too afraid to steal alcohol from his father. He desperately wanted to go back into the woods, to fall back under the quiet spell of muffled words about nothing, watching the light filter through the branches, sparkling as the leaves moved with the breeze. He hated it here, in the building, surrounded by these people with their constant need to be heard, each louder than the last. The smells of the theater, new paint and old fabrics and so much dust made it hard to breath. The too bright lights, unnaturally hot against his skin, and the way every sound echoed made his head ache. He’d be long gone if it wasn’t for the way Haley’s touch made his heart skip, her fingers lightly brushing across his arm to get his attention. Or the way she looped her arm through his as she caught him in the hallway and insisted on walking with him to class, leading him along her sheltered path.
Aaron wondered at the lightness of her head rested against his shoulder as they sat in the grass, sticking her tongue out at something stupid another kid said, then smiling when she heard his smothered laughter. He let his attention drift, eyes wandering until he saw a group in the distance. He watched as they moved away from school, easily guessing where they were headed. He felt a pang of longing as he watched them leave, wishing he could still be part of that. He wasn’t sure he had been happy with Cole but he had at least felt like he was in the right place, like he had found someone who understood him. No one here was like him, no one less so than Haley. He was attracted to her in a different way, fascinated at how she viewed the world and how the world viewed her. He’d never known anyone who moved so easily through life, who was loved and desired by everyone she met. He couldn’t begin to imagine what that felt like though he agreed with the rest of them, she was something special. He didn’t understand why she wanted him around but he wasn’t going to contradict her. Still, he wished to be gone with the group as they sought out unobserved spaces.
“Aaron?” Haley squeezed his knee, drawing his attention back.
“Hmm?” He had no idea what she had been saying.
“Do you want to come to Mike’s house after rehearsal tonight? His parents are out of town.”
Aaron looked dubiously across the group at Mike, someone who was clear in his dislike of Aaron.
“Please?”
Aaron shrugged a shoulder, shifting uncomfortably and causing Haley to sit up.
“It’ll be fun. And it’ll be good for you to get to know everyone a little better. You’re so quiet all the time.”
“I don’t think he likes me very much,” Aaron murmured, watching as Mike narrowed his eyes in their direction.
“Don’t be silly,” she said as she hopped up. “C’mon, let’s go inside, it’s almost time.”
He looked up at her, now standing above him. Their eyes met and she smiled. She was pleased with how much he’d been softening. It had only been a few weeks and already he seemed more comfortable, at least with her. She congratulated herself a little, privately, on her success. People had gone out of their way to warn her when she started hanging out with him, bringing him places with her. He was bad, he was dangerous, he would hurt her. But she knew, had known from that first time she saw him looking at her, he wouldn’t hurt her, not ever. He wasn’t so complicated, she reasoned, they were all just scared away by his dark features, his perpetual scowl, the whispered rumors about his family. She, Haley Brooks, was better than that, deeper and more sympathetic. He wouldn’t be the first broken creature she’d healed, but he would be her biggest project yet. She didn’t imagine it could be that hard. Everyone was always happier around her, she could fix this.
He sighed, shaking his head and stood up. Sometimes he could see her watching him and he wasn’t sure he liked the look on her face. Like she was assessing him, marking his progress along some scale she had in her mind. Noting when he ate, when he was rested, when he laughed. He felt a little bit like an animal in a laboratory. But then she would smile at him and he forgot all his hesitation, forgot how he disliked being watched, how much he hated people thinking they knew what he needed. No one had ever cared like her before and he wasn’t sure what she expected in return. But he let himself forget all that and follow her where she led for another chance at that smile, another chance to hear her say his name, sounding so different coming from her lips that it might be a different name entirely.
One of her friends, already halfway back to the building, called Haley’s name and she skipped over to her, confident that Aaron would follow. He watched her go before turning back to pick up his backpack. When he straightened up, Mike was standing very close to him. Aaron wondered at how he’d moved so quickly.
“I hope you don’t think you’re coming to my house, loser.”
Aaron stared at him, debating what to do. He didn’t particularly want to go to this party, he’d really prefer not to go. But Haley had invited him and he didn’t like the way this guy was always looking at her possessively, then looking at Aaron like he’d like to strangle him. Not exactly subtle.
Mike stepped in closer. “Did you hear me? Or are you too high?” He turned to his friends and forced a laugh, “Maybe you shouldn’t have fried your brain with your little homo boyfriend.”
Aaron didn’t think, he just reacted, fist swinging up and punching the other boy in the jaw. He stumbled back, holding a hand to his face, eyes frozen wide in shock. Aaron didn’t pause, only advanced on him, swinging again. It felt good, the anger that was always simmering in his chest, the anger he only barely distracted himself from, finally had an outlet. It probably wasn’t a fair fight, Mike had been expecting Aaron to quietly take the insults as he’d been doing, pretending to ignore them as they needled him whenever Haley was out of earshot. But this insult was too far. More of a mean jab in the dark than an actual accusation, his words had hit a nerve and unlocked a force within Aaron.
Once he landed the first punch, his vision clouded over with anger and he continued to swing at the other kid. The other boys quickly jumped in, once the surprise of seeing Aaron actually fight back wore off, once they realized he meant to do real harm to their friend. He already had Mike pinned on the ground, lip bleeding, hands covering his face, before two more of his friends managed to drag Aaron off. He swung at them too, no technique but plenty of experience on the receiving end. He knew what would hurt and he had enough rage to power him through a dozen opponents. One of the others pulled him off balance, using his grip on Aaron’s wrist to fling him to the side. They blocked his path to Mike, who was scrambling backward on the grass, putting more distance between himself and this suddenly rabid opponent. Breathing hard, Aaron glared at the group, realizing he didn’t have enough strength to overpower them all, despite his murderous desire. He spit in their direction, then grabbed his bag and stalked away.
He didn’t have to think about where he was going. There was only one place to go. He’d tried to be a part of the regular world, a part of a world where time continued evenly, where lights turned on when it was dark and spotlights burned brightest on those with merit. He’d tried to fit himself into that space for Haley’s sake but he had only been fooling himself. They’d known he didn’t belong and he’d finally overstayed his welcome. It was time for him to retreat to the unlit corners of the world, return to the margins of society where people could avert their eyes, where it was easier for them to pretend they didn’t see the wrongness of the boy in front of them. He’d go back to the place in the woods and hope there was someone there that could give him what he wanted, could help him disconnect from this too bright reality. He was as sick of it as they were of him. He allowed himself a brief flicker of hope that he might find Cole out there, with his understanding and their shared history he didn’t have to think about his walls so much. But he stomped down hard on that desire, reminding himself how he had still ended up alone. No, it didn’t need to be Cole, it didn’t need to be anyone in particular, as long as they had something to get him high he didn’t care. It wouldn’t matter for very long anyway.
He crashed across the grass, his anger making his steps heavier, his thoughts louder. He didn’t realize he was being followed, that someone was calling his name. He didn’t notice until there was a hand tugging at the elbow of his jacket. He spun around fast, ready to fight. Haley shrank back at the anger in his face, the wildness in his eyes. He clenched his fists when he recognized her, trying and failing to pull back the storm of emotion that had been knocked loose. He never wanted to scare her but she was following where she didn’t belong. He only had so much control.
“Go away.”
“Are you hurt? Where are you going? Why’d you attack—”
She didn’t even have the question fully formed before he turned and started walking again, unwilling to be accused of something that wasn’t remotely his fault. He didn’t like the way it stung him, hearing that she assumed his guilt. He didn’t like that he’d let her get so close, let her have such influence over him. She ran a little to get ahead of him, taking a deep breath to steady herself. She was frightened by his fury, but she wouldn’t let him go this easily. Not after she’d spent so many hours persuading him to join her world.
“Aaron.”
He stopped short when he heard his name, looked at her with some of his anger melting into sadness, feeling betrayed even though he knew he had no one to blame but himself.
“I didn’t start it,” he could barely get the words out, hated how much he wanted her to believe him, hated that he had to explain himself.
She rubbed her face, trying to think as she pressed her palm against her lips. She found she was more frightened of this new emotion than she was of the anger. He looked so hopeless.
“I’m sorry, I just…” she didn’t know what to say now that she’d gotten him to stop, now that she could see past the heated front of anger and could see some of the broken edges he did so much to hide. Wasn’t this what she’d been asking for?
He watched her struggle with what to say, saw the moment the pity started to creep into her eyes. Before she could say anything else, before she could make him feel worse, he started walking again, pushing past her. “Just leave me alone,” he muttered. He didn’t bother to check if she followed.
When he reached the clearing it was empty except for one person stretched out on a broken down couch. At first all he could see was the back of their head, the dirty blond hair sticking up in places. The recognition was a visceral feeling, clawing through his chest. He almost couldn’t believe it was real, that he was getting exactly what he hoped for. Cole sat up when he heard Aaron’s heavy footsteps cracking through the dead leaves and sticks littering the ground. He remained seated, looking at Aaron idly, as if no time had passed, as if he’d only been waiting for Aaron to turn up after class. Aaron felt so many conflicting emotions, had so many things he wanted to say that he could only stand with his jaw clenched against the flood of words he knew he would regret. Cole twitched the corner of his mouth in a slightly mocking smile and Aaron snapped. He grabbed Cole by the collar, pulling him to his feet, unsure whether he meant to strangle him or kiss him. Cole’s gaze shifted to look behind him.
“Why’d you bring your girlfriend with you?”
Too caught up in the charge of the moment, Aaron didn’t understand what he was talking about. Cole pulled away and lifted his chin in the direction he was facing. Aaron turned and saw Haley. She’d continued to follow him, concerned about what he was planning on doing, haunted by the hollowed out look in his eyes. She stood, apprehensive, eyes darting between the two.
He scowled. “Go back to school Haley.”
“But—are you okay?” She stumbled over her words, staring openly at Cole. She’d seen him in the distance, even noticed how Aaron sometimes watched him when their paths crossed. He looked even more menacing up close.
“I’m fine.” His mouth pressed together, biting his lower lip to keep his composure. He didn’t understand why she was being so persistent, why she wouldn’t just go away like everyone else. When she still hesitated he got impatient. There were things he needed to handle and he didn’t need her here getting in the way. He waved his hand at her, brushing away her attention. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
From behind him Cole fluttered his fingers at her with false sweetness. She hated the way he was grinning at her, his obvious confidence that he was the one in charge of the situation. She glared at him and he laughed.
She looked one more time at Aaron, who was no longer paying attention to her, had turned back to Cole entirely. She shook her head. Fine, if he wanted this it was hardly her problem. What did she even know of his life anyway? Trying not to feel like she’d lost, she retraced the path back to school.
As soon as she was out of earshot, Aaron started in on Cole. His thoughts were disorganized and barely coherent but he’d spent weeks trying to understand the sudden distance. He needed Cole to explain, to know his reasons for turning on him so quickly after all that they’d shared.
“What the fuck—” He hadn’t finished his question before Cole clamped his hand over his mouth.
“Shut up.”
Their eyes met and there was a mental struggle for the upper hand. One thing that had changed in the past few weeks was Aaron’s strength. No longer constantly submerged in a haze of intoxication, he felt everything more pointedly and he was ready to direct that pain elsewhere. He wanted to bite Cole, to scratch at his face, to scream at him for way he’d been abandoned, the sickness and shame he’d had to endure on his own. But the warmth of Cole’s palm, the familiar smell of his skin, the muscle memory of being in this exact position was too much. He relented almost instantly, sinking into the couch, pulling his knees up against his chest and waiting to see what Cole would do next.
Cole watched him thoughtfully, interested by this new spark of resistance but also pleased that he hadn’t made it too far on his own. A little fight kept things interesting, staved off the boredom Cole so often felt. It was probably that girl he’d been with, giving him ideas. He could see he’d have to do some damage control to bring Aaron back completely.
“I’m sorry,” he looked down, measuring drops of sincerity. “My grandma, she saw…she said she was going to report you.”
Aaron was confused, he didn’t know exactly what she could report about him but he heard the edge in Cole’s voice, knew better than to dig deeper. Cole sat down beside him, pulling one of his hands loose from where he’d wrapped it tightly around his legs. He traced Aaron’s palm with his thumb, looking into his face again.
“You know I didn’t mean it right? I didn’t have a choice.”
Aaron recoiled, sickened by the number of times those words had echoed through his life. Worse though was how easily he was willing to give into them if it only meant he could have back a little of that warmth he had found. He ducked his head and shrugged.
Cole squeezed his hand. “Good, cause I think I’ve got something you’ll like.” He let go and dug around in the couch cushions, pulling out a crumpled paper bag. When he smiled at Aaron, that familiar greedy smile, Aaron admitted to himself that he wasn’t here to fight with Cole, that he had never been coming for that. This was all he wanted, was all he was good for: to be lied to and to be led astray. He didn’t mind as long as he didn’t have to be fully present for it. He sat up a little straighter.
“Alright, let’s do it.”
They fell back in with one another but it remained uneasy. Aaron was still not allowed back at Cole’s house and he was afraid to miss too much class. Lately his father had been grumbling about sending him away and he wasn’t entirely sure he meant away to live somewhere else or away from life entirely. There were no peaceful interactions between them, only lucky days where Aaron successfully avoided being seen. A sudden increase in truancy calls would not work out well for him. If he had been a little more mature, a little less caught up in his own teenage drama, he might have noticed the changes in his father’s face, the way the lines grew deeper as his frame grew thinner. As it was he only noticed as much as he needed to know to keep himself out of the direct path of destruction. He once might have cared to notice his mother crying more, even when his father wasn’t there to be the cause of it but he was long past feeling any sort of connection to her. If she was troubled, she could find someone else to support her. She certainly hadn’t done anything to help him all these years. Nothing that he could see.
At school Haley continued to pester him. She stood up for him against the accusations that he had attacked Matt for no reason so he was still allowed at play rehearsals. He went grudgingly, only because he couldn’t shake the way he felt bewitched by Haley. Now he tried even harder to stay out of any social situations, to keep things strictly professional with the group of theater kids. However, he couldn’t help but enjoy Haley’s company at lunch and in between classes. Much as Aaron had disliked her friends, he couldn’t resist the brilliance of her personality. She made him feel like being a whole person was possible, made him forget for a few moments what he really was. She may have made him a little uncomfortable but she was relentlessly kind, and he was more than expert at keeping things hidden so he let her think she was doing some good as she badgered him into eating more and forced him to study. Even if it was only pretend, they were both getting something from it.
Only after the school day was over would he would slink away to the woods where he’d meet Cole. Cole still wasn’t speaking to him on campus, too aware of how their obvious closeness before had been risky. He hadn’t changed in their time apart either, his mood still swinging wildly from affection to disgust. It didn’t feel great but Aaron needed him, needed what Cole could give him. Attention and a steady supply of drugs. He didn’t have to worry about his insufficiencies around Cole, they were too similar for him to care about hiding the difficult parts of his life, didn’t have to worry about being pitied, about someone trying to fix him. They’d dragged more furniture into the abandoned shed, found an old metal trashcan they could burn things in to warm the place as the months crept deeper into the dark end of the year.
By the time Aaron’s sixteenth birthday came and went he felt like he was leading a completely fractured life. At home he was a ghost at best, a target when not; with Haley a treasured curiosity, constantly examined and prodded into a more acceptable shape; and with Cole, he was himself, angry and violent but self-medicated to the point where none of it mattered. Any gentleness that had existed between them over the summer was gone, every interaction was rough and scrambling, followed by a shame that only dissipated once the high kicked in.
It became harder to hold all the pieces together. He would look at himself in the mirror and struggle to remember his own name. He started smoking pot during the day again, just to ease some of the jarring transitions. At lunch, Haley talked and talked and he wouldn’t notice when she asked him a question until she poked him in the bicep and he jumped like a startled cat. When she tried to ask him about it he got annoyed, snapping at her and walking away from school, not caring that it was the middle of the day and that this bad choice was sure to come back to him that evening.
The show opening got closer as he missed more rehearsals. He missed so many that he didn’t know what he should be doing when he was there, very obviously sticking out when he went one way while the rest of the corps moved in the other direction. The drama teacher pulled him aside, giving him an ultimatum that he needed to be present at every subsequent rehearsal or he would be cut. Not so secretly hoping this would be enough to get him to leave. He started to say he didn’t give a shit about her stupid play when he saw Haley anxiously watching their conversation and swallowed his insults, only nodding, looking away so the teacher wouldn’t see his contempt for someone who could think something like a high school play mattered at all.
He made it to all the rehearsals but he was sure to be high, not enough that he would be caught but enough to be clear that it didn’t matter to him if he did. He wasn’t sure why he continued to come, why Haley had such a pull on him. It didn’t make sense that he wanted so badly to make her happy when she was so different, so far removed from everything else in his life. Maybe it was that he knew that without her, there was nothing tying him to the regular world, the place of school and society and jobs and futures. She was the only person that seemed to care if he was around, an emotion he was long past feeling for himself. She was the last reminder that he was a human being, that he mattered to someone. It was the only thing standing between him and completely giving in to the destructive force that had been whispering promises of an easy solution to his problems.
It was just enough to keep him behaved around these people who hated him without knowing anything about him. They hated what he represented, hated the way he forced them to see that the world could be ugly and painful. They were offended that he dared to show himself among the normal people when he so clearly belonged to the underside. He kept quiet and kept close to Haley when he was at school, when he was in the theater. He wore the stupid costume, the silly hat, followed the directions barked at him, sang just loud enough to carry the rest. Then he slipped away as soon as he was able.
The week of the opening performance was a bad one. Cole, having recently gotten his hands on some speed, was off on a manic high. Aaron had tried it once but hated the way the uppers spiked his anxiety, the way he felt every eye on him like his skin had turned inside out. After that first time he had declined, preferring to find oblivion in whatever downers were available. But Cole liked it quite a bit. It made his already unpredictable nature even worse, even more dangerous. He’d spend these highs running all over town, breaking car windows for fun, stealing anything worth a couple dollars. Aaron hated it and did his best to hide from him while he was strung out like that.
The afternoon of the show’s opening he’d gone to an old, private hiding spot after school with the intention of getting so stoned he couldn’t feel anything that might come his way later. He succeeded only to remember belatedly what day it was. Haley had tried to remind him several times during the day but he’d been too high, too distracted to listen. Swearing, he ran back to school, not sure what time it was or what time he was supposed to have been there.
The house lights were already off, the audience quiet as the opening bars played. He raced to get into his costume, having to re-button his shirt more than once as the tiny objects refused to line up properly. He gripped his hat as he stumbled into the wings to the sound of the chorus coming in—the chorus he was supposed to be a part of. He thought he could probably just slide onto the end of the line without attracting too much attention. Unfortunately, he found his path blocked by the drama teacher, her face dark and angry, completely out of patience for this mess of a teenager. She stared at him, his eyes red and glassy, skin pale, insultingly obvious in his intoxication.
“No.”
He looked at her unfazed, barely registering her as more than an object to move around. When he tried to step past her, she blocked him again.
“Go home Aaron,” her voice was quiet but unfriendly.
He shook his head, “I’m going to miss my cue.”
She frowned, surprised that he was aware enough to even know when his part was. “You’re high, you can’t be on school property.”
Aaron glanced into her face now, paying attention. No teacher had ever mentioned being able to tell he was not sober before.
“If you don’t leave now, I will call the police.”
He stepped back, narrowing his eyes, gauging how serious she was, if she would really draw that much attention to the situation. Her expression didn’t change and he could tell she meant it. He looked past her once more, seeing Haley step forward into the spotlight to begin her solo. His heart twisted, thinking about how disappointed she’d be that he couldn’t make this happen for her. He’d tried, tried so hard to keep it together for this. She’d been so excited and even though he couldn’t feel any of that, he liked the way it lit up her face when she talked about the performance, about how her parents and her sister would be in the audience, about how she wanted them to meet him. He’d never planned on staying for that but he’d wanted to at least be part of the show, to at least give her that.
“Now, Hotchner,” she insisted, voice cold and unsympathetic. He shrugged and tossed the hat on the ground by her feet before turning and walking out.
He headed straight for the shed, knowing there were supplies there that he had slowly siphoned away when Cole was too high to notice. He’d been saving them, watching his little stockpile grow larger. He wasn’t sure exactly what he was saving it for, exactly what his intention was but now seemed as good a time as any to find out. He hoped Cole wasn’t there, at least not until he could get his fix. Nothing would matter then.
Once inside he turned on the camp lantern he’d stolen and climbed onto a rickety chair to reach the seam between the roof and the wall. He pulled out his supplies, examining them as he settled back down on the dirty old cushions on the floor and wrapped a blanket around himself. It was an old army surplus thing, scratchy and smelling of smoke but effective against the chill. He considered his options. There was a good amount in there, probably enough for two people if he waited for Cole to turn up. He could maybe ease him out of his frenzy, bring him down to Aaron’s level, to the place where they could float through time without moving, without worrying. He thought about the last time he’d seen him, the way his eyes had moved past him without any real recognition. He thought about the dark purple bruises on his wrist where Cole had grabbed him, twisting his arm and insisting Aaron give him whatever money he had.
Fuck him, he decided.
Cole would probably be angry if he came here and found Aaron high without him, would be suspicious of how that had come to be. He would probably regret not leaving any for him but just at that moment he didn’t care. Hurt and love and shame and desire were all the same to him, all more than he wanted to feel. He just wanted to feel nothing. He set himself up quickly, well practiced and sure of his movements. He glanced around the shed once, really seeing his surroundings, seeing how far he had sunk and he laughed as he pressed the plunger down. Anyone who heard him would have been alarmed, the sound more like an animal caught in a trap than an expression of human joy. His last thought as he sank back into the ground was that it really was too much for one person. Too much to be doing alone. Then he got what he wanted and everything was just black.
#criminal minds fanfiction#aaron hotchner#young hotch#young haley brooks#tw substances#tw abuse#a mixed blessing
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