#i have friends who really didn't want to go to therapy and i kept pushing them even when it didn't work at first
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
it's not that i don't believe in therapy it's that when i NEEDED it no one cared. so I figured it out myself. I know how to handle myself and my (increasingly infrequent) breakdowns and I understand myself and know I'll be okay no matter what and I self reflect and process my emotions and am very emotionally open and I'm so proud of the person I am every day. but I do have low days, and that's what pisses me off: I'm ALLOWED to be sad sometimes. it's a part of how my brain works, and the important thing is I know how to handle it effectively in a healthy way. and swooping in and forcing me to pay an insane amount to sit in an office when I DID ALL THAT WORK MYSELF is so aggravating. therapy has only ever made me feel worse. I'm a survivor, I've survived so much, and therapy is literally just a scapegoat for empathy for people these days. it relieves you of having to engage or care about other people. and LISTEN I'm not anti therapy by any means. as the Therapist Friend ™️ even when I'm mentally ill asf and when I was a literal kid myself I know that sometimes you can't do anything. professional help is necessary. it's the only way. but it doesn't!!! fucking!!! work for everyone!!! if someone isn't actively suicidal and trying to get better on their own and they don't WANT therapy because it doesn't WORK for them maybe don't be a condescending dick about it! therapy isn't a magical solution that makes everyone okay SOMETIMES people have external problems and are justified in feeling the way they do!!! therapy can be helpful yes but a lot of the time it is just a soulless void of practiced regulations for something that is not black or white because guess what everyone's different! and assuming the same thing works for everyone and that YOU know better than them (unless they're clearly obviously not doing well and are beyond helping themselves) is condescending as fuck!!!
#anti therapy#not really but i guess#anyway today my psychiat said i can quit therapy and that's finally someone my parents will listen to#good day#anyway therapy is really important and i think it's necessary to give it a sustained shot if you're in a position#where it either helps you or you don't have faith in yourself to get better#you need someone else an unbiased professional third party#you want a feedback loop and don't trust yourself#but it is NOT an all fit#i have friends who really didn't want to go to therapy and i kept pushing them even when it didn't work at first#and now they love it#but that's also because they NEEDED it#now it's just. oh you're sad i don't want you to be sad but i don't want to hear about your problems so go to a therapist#x am rambles#also therapy only works if you put in the work#you can't force people into it#liveblogging.pdf
50 notes
·
View notes
Text
Nexus' funeral
A few words on Nexus...
So, what can I say about Nexus, New Moon, whatever you want to call him...
Well, you could call him a son of a b****, and you'd be right. But he was a lot of other things too. He was a brother, a friend, and the Moon who stepped up.. till he stepped down.
We first met Nexus on April 19 2023. And we was such an innocent face. He was new he had no idea who he was or what crazy, crazy world he woke up in. One of the first faces he saw was his brother Sundrop. Sun was still reeling from the loss of his brother Moon, who had sacrificed his memories to give K.C. a chance at life and from the ashes of Moon came Nexus/New Moon.
Sun welcomed New Moon home with open arms cause, while yes, he wasn't HIS Moon, he was still Moon... and he was still his brother.
Now, things were, of course, rocky at first. I mean, if your family member got amnesia and effectively became a different person, of course, it would be rocky, but despite that, Sun welcomed New Moon with open arms. He showed him the ropes, gave him a home, a shoulder to cry on, and taught him how to be Moon, and in return, New Moon became a better brother than the last Moon. Old Moon wasn't.. the best brother (that's an understatement), but New Moon was. New Moon was the brother who stepped up. He was the brother that actually showed he cared for Sun. He was the brother who Earth first met. He was the brother who Lunar was reunited with when he came back. He was the Moon who welcomed Solar into their home and made him feel like he was more than just an Eclipse variant. He was the Moon that defeated Eclipse. He was the Moon who made the family whole. He was the Moon who MADE the family. And yes, he did make some mistakes along the way he still tried to be a good brother... till he stopped.
New Moon, as much as it pains me to say... he never truly cared about any of them. He was just told,
"Hey, I'm your brother, we're family, your my brother, hi."
New Moon just acted like he cared cause he was told to. He did maybe care a little, but he didn't care enough. He cared about Solar. He thought of Solar as a brother, not Sun, not Lunar, didn't even think of Earth as a sister. He just saw them as people he lived with. Not family.
But he kept up the act. Cause he had to, or maybe cause he didn't want to hurt them? Who knows?
New Moon tried to be a good brother and a good person... then Ruin happened.
Ruin, a person they trusted, a person they cared for, a person they almost thought as family betrayed them. Ruin wiped out 5,000 dimensions in an attempt to destroy The Creator Council, and while it worked... it cost the life of Solar. The only person New Moon considered family. Solar's death hit many of them hard... but New Moon seemed to completely lose himself at Solar's death. We have recordings of New Moon screaming,
"I MISS MY BROTHER!"
Solar's death broke the family... but it destroyed New Moon.
New Moon, with the pressure of his family, Old Moon, and himself pushing down on him, he was determined to bring his brother back... by any means necessary.
Even murder.
New Moon... lost himself in grief, and I mean, who could blame him, but most people wouldn't go as far as New Moon did.
New Moon became obsessed with the idea of bringing Solar back and started to turn to dark means to bring Solar back.
He planned to kill an enemy of the family named Bloodmoon or Ruin he didn't care which so long as they died, and he could use their soul to bring Solar back.
The family became worried about their brother and tried to intervene with him. Earth gave the family a family therapy session trying to get New Moon to talk about how he really felt but New Moon just lied and said he was fine cause he was determined to bring what he considered his only family back to life even it costed him the rest of his family.
Eventually, it became to much and the family realized New Moon was a danger to himself and others and not wanting their brother to become a murder they locked him away to stop him. Now, whether or not you agree with what they did you have to admit they did the only thing they could to stop their brother from becoming a monster...
Yes, some people, not naming names (cough! Monty! Cough! Puppet!) Could have been nice and not done certain things, but they did it in a messed up attempt to help the family. While their motives were pure their actions... not so much.
Nexus managed to escape from his cell and went to go find and murder Bloodmoon. Well, he found Bloodmoon and Ruin... and his sister. Ruin and Bloodmoon had captured Earth, and instead of trying to rescue her, New Moon was just gonna blast Bloodmoon and Ruin and not care if Earth got caught in the crosshairs... he said she was just "collateral damage." A normal brother would call their own sister, "Collateral damage, " and not care if he killed her or not. Thankfully, Puppet showed up and stopped him from killing her.
New Moon had truly lost himself at this point. He didn't care who he hurt as long as he got what he wanted... the brother they all loved, they brother who tried, the brother who cared for them was gone. Or maybe... he never existed to begin with.
New Moon was eventually taken in by a villain named Dark Sun
(Or Solstice, or Dusk, or Dawn, or Evil Sun, or just Sun, whatever you want to call him)
Dark Sun led New Moon away, pulled him to a darker path, and led him astray like a lamb to slaughter (which is all Dark Sun saw him as)
A lamb to be sacrificed for his own gain.
New Moon was gone. He became Nexus, the dark reflection of Moon becoming just as bad if not WORSE than Old Moon.
Nexus mentally and physically tortured family, friends, and even former enemies. He broke Moon, he broke Earth, and he broke Solar, and he nearly broke Sun... you could argue he did.
Nexus wasn't their brother anymore he went full mask-off. He admitted he never cared. He never saw any of them as family. The only family he had was solar, and even when Solar came back to life thanks to the help of the former villain Eclipse, Nexus still didn't change back. He stayed a villain cause he liked being the villain. He felt like EVERYONE betrayed him when, in reality, HE BETRAYED THEM! But no, he couldn't even admit that a very VERY small part of him did regret his actions he even admitted it himself in one episode.
Nexus was a villain trying to convince himself he wasn't a villain. He was trying to pin the blame on everyone else that it's THEIR fault he's a villain not his... but it is his fault. He chose to become a villain. No one forced him to be a villain he could have told Dark Sun no. He could have been honest with his family and told them how he really doing... but no.
He still had to play a victim even when he KNEW he was the villain cause he needed to. He needed someone to tell him he wasn't the villain cause a part of him was screaming he was! But no one would cause it was the truth he was the villain, and no matter of lying or gaslighting, or actions from the others could ever justify Nexus' acts. None of what they did warranted this. Nothing Sun did, Nothing Earth did, Nothing Monty did, Nothing Solar did, NONE OF IT WARRANTED THIS!
Nexus just.... lost himself.
And now he is lost forever.
Nexus, you were a good person, you were the Moon who stepped up. You were the Moon we all fell in love with... and then you became the villain we despised. We loved you Nexus.
Your family loved you...
But you just didn't love them back.
Maybe in a different world, you are still you and didn't become a monster, and maybe there is a world where you did care for your family as much as they cared for you...
Despite everything Nexus, Rest in peace. I pray the God of the TSBS world has mercy on your soul.
Goodbye, Nexus, you were good.
New Moon "Nexus" Celestial
April 19 2023 - October 31 2024
If you'd all like to say your own few words about Nexus, go ahead.
#sun and moon show#tsams#lunar and earth show#laes#tsams sun#tsams moon#tsams nexus#tsams new moon#tsams new moon/nexus#r.i.p. nexus#eulogy for nexus#funeral for Nexus#Rest in pepperoni Nexus#reblog if you want#if you'd like to add something or just say a few words about Nexus feel free to#sams nexus#sams new moon#why'd you have to become the villain#We loved you Nexus THEY loved you.#and you went and blew it.#See you around Nexus.
76 notes
·
View notes
Text
RANT ABOUT THERAPY AND WHY IT'S NOT MY CUP OF TEA 🤡
+ trying to guess the therapist's rising and our synastry and ranting about it cause I am tired man (and too sensitive lol)
Really messy post btw just a disclaimer lol
(Update 23/11/24 : I might have slightly overreacted 🤡😀😁 lol plus maybe the therapist was actually a Taurus rising lol idk man I am confused as fuck about everything bye 😝🤪🫡)
Just had my first therapist appointment since 2021 and what can I say....it was REALLY awkward. I don't know how people are able to spill their deepest traumas like that bro she just sat down and told me to talk 💀 like what I thought she would interview me or start the first appointment with pre-made questions to make a profile, regarding my background, family relationships,etc .. It was really messy and I was so confused throughout the whole thing.
I understand it's a privilege to afford therapy (it was 60euros for 45 minutes lol of course it is) but it is much more complex than just spilling your guts to a random with a degree.
Something about me is that I always thought i didn't really need therapy, no matter how painful a situation was for me. And it wasn't only therapy, it was also opening up to my own friends 💀 i could take care of myself like i always did anyways so whats the point of paying for it ? I understood people who needed it and felt helped by it. But it just wasn't for me. I have realizations on my own consistantly thanks to my self-awareness and trained and developped intuition.
What pushed me to go back to therapy even though i was , and still am, very skeptical in its effectiveness on me, is that this year, I realized asking for help won't actually kill me and that i have my limits as a human being.
I fear this appointment just unfortunately kind of validated my initial more negative feelings towards therapy and the idea that I don't really need it.
As a really introspective and painfully self-aware person who has a hard time asking for help (but is actively working on it), I really don't know what kind of therapy could help me, really. I know I probably have a few blind spots, but it's so out of my comfort zone to open up like that. I kind of hate it.
I want to keep an open mind, and probably try another therapist but damn if I don't f*ck with any, it just feels forced .. I trust divine timing for that because I don't really want to put myself in such a situation again.
Right now, I feel dirty knowing a random woman knows about my deepest traumas in a really messy and all over the place way. She has fragments of my soul, and despite me having somewhat giving my consent for it, it was too fast. Maybe it's my 8th house moon conjunct Lilith (1181) in Leo that is speaking but I feel literally violated. Strong words but this how uncomfortable it was for me.
Guessing the therapist's rising sign and ranting about 12th house synastry...
Random but I think the therapist in question had a Virgo or Leo rising... I already said it's the most common rising signs (especially virgo) and I am losing patience. We probably had a 12th house synastry that's why our exchange was really weird and scattered. She kept on making weird faces while I was talking telling me she didn't understand what I was trying to say.... I know it all too well because EVERY single person I knew or had interacted with that had a leo rising, my interactions with them were like this. I was saying stuff and it felt like it went in one ear and got out in the other. Like they could hear me but not listen and understand what i was trying to say. This kind of reminds me of Willy Wonka's relationship with Mike TV or wth his name is, in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Tim Burton's movie. Wonka always said stuff to him whenever he opened his mouth like "I cannot hear a single thing you say because you're speaking gibberish"or whatever. (Me being Mike TV and Leo risings being Willy Wonka).
This is how every single one of my interactions with Leo risings went, no matter their gender or age. It was always like that.
#astrology#astro community#astro notes#astro observations#pick a card#pick a card reading#pick a pile#moon in leo#divination#rant post#personal rant#ranting#therapy#mental health#mental health awareness#mental health advice#advice
58 notes
·
View notes
Text
Post-War Levihan Idea [No. 4]
TW: Suicidal thoughts, gaslighting (self-gaslighting)
Levi didn't look when Hange left. He wouldn't meet their eyes, he just touched his fist to their heart and gave them his forgiveness for leaving. He never quite said farewell, not to them, at least, nor did he see what it was that his squad was crying about as the plane took off. Eyes downcast, he said only this: "So long, Hange. Watch over us."
Levihan lenses on. Let's investigate, shall we? Levi doesn't know how Hange died. He never saw them fight, never saw them burn, he has no idea of their last words. In the depths of his wildest nightmares, Hange dies over and over and over. In thousands of ways. Crushed beneath the feet of the titans, knocked into the ocean where they drowned, shredded to bits by their hands, roasted and charred alive as they had been. Had they cried? Had they felt alone in that last flicker of life? Had they smiled, or had they screamed? What had his squad seen, for them to be reacting like that? Levi jolts awake every morning, brittle and half-crumbling beneath the weight of the responses that his mind provides.
But then again, Levi has no clue how Hange died. He didn't see their wounds, didn't watch the light flicker from their eyes. He didn't see the pain. Their last moments in his mind? Unconfirmed. And how does Captain Levi Ackerman document soldiers who are unconfirmed to be alive or dead?
Missing in action.
So Levi is wheelchair-bound, broken, exhausted, falling apart, and alone save for this single soul who went missing. Well, what was it again that everyone kept telling him? Armin, Mikasa, Jean, Connie. Even Onyankapon, now. Oh, yes: "You've done enough to help us, Captain. Rest now, and live for yourself."
So he does. And he chooses to spend his life searching for his lost friend, his Hange.
In the initial idea, Levi was hallucinating once again (this account has been over his hallucinations, but it's not done yet). He's sad and depressed and has nothing to live for anymore, so his Monkey Brain has to design something to keep him going.
He lays in bed some nights, unable to fall asleep, even after Falco came by and made him tea. Even after Onyankapon embarrassed them both by trying to set him to sleep with a story. Even after Gabi sang, albeit terribly, to try to soothe him. He just pretends at that point, afraid to be a burden, until they go away and his eyes pop right back open. The thoughts run rampant, then, when his mind conjures up the ghosts of his loved ones, their bloodied and bruises corpses staring back with empty eyes.
"Wouldn't it be better if I just died, right here? Nobody would have to come by anymore, or see me in this pathetic state, pushing myself in a wheelchair because I can't stand for even a half hour. I wouldn't have to wake up anymore, go to physical therapy, try to feel happy when there's nothing for me to be happy about. We made it to the end, didn't we? Why can't I rest?"
"Why would you rest?" He sees for the first time that Hange isn't there. The voice is a hush in his ear, but still it overtakes the volume of his thoughts. "Hange is missing from you. Where is Hange, Levi?"
He stiffens. "Hange is gone."
"Gone where?"
"Gone..." Levi is baffled into a scowl. He really, really doesn't want to think about that. He doesn't want to cry himself to sleep. "Just gone. Shut up and let me sleep."
But he swears he hears their voice, low and deep in the air. "I haven't been gone that long, clean freak. Don't you remember me?"
Levi jolts, wide awake.
Where is it coming from? The curtains billow, as though disturbed by the sky's cold breath, yet he feels no breeze. Hange's voice comes again. "What have I been trying to teach you this whole time?"
Lightning flashes outside his balcony, then the night is invading. Pressing into his bedroom from every crack in the walls, from the balcony, the slit beneath the door, rushing in like water. It's a typhoon of indigo, speckled with light, and it twists and whirls until it's sunken into the shapes and curves of Hange's body.
He's been here before. "The paths," Levi and Hange both say.
Hange grins. "I didn't know how else to find you."
"But you found me." Levi blinks several times, shakes his head like a dog, but they're there. Hidden in a cloak of night, but they're there. He feels his eyes welling up and he swipes at them quickly. He wants to see.
"I don't think I can stay for long." Their voice reverbrates in the cavern of the bedroom. "But we'll see each other again, won't we? You'll come find me. You always do."
"That's not possible. You're gone."
Hange's gaze softens. "I'm right here, Levi."
A tear slips down his cheek. He can't believe they're making him say it out loud, and he hates how helpless it makes him sound. How small he feels when it's out in the open. "You're gone."
Hange regards him, quiet for once. "You don't believe that. I refuse to believe that I didn't rub off on you. You have more hope than that, Levi. Even in this hopeless world." Their fingers brush his, and he's shocked by the flush of warmth their touch brings. "I know it. I came all this way to find you, didn't I?
"The least you could do is find me, too."
Levi jolts, wide awake.
He stares at his ceiling in a cold sweat. He feels as though he's being torn in two directions. On one hand, Hange was gone. They had to be gone. He'd gone through all this pain, knowing they were gone. To delve back into the past was to undo all he'd fought for since they'd left.
But what if they weren't gone? What if they really were out there, broken bodied and half-alive, but alive? It was difficult to think about either way, but could there be a possibility?
Levi recalls their voice, their touch, their reminder. He turns over his thoughts in his mind one last time, then pulls himself out of bed. He can't stay for long, after all.
Hange is waiting.
-----
At some point, I transitioned into fictional writing. Hopefully that made sense. Anyway:
So, deep down, he knows himself well enough to trick himself. He's always been a hero. He can get up if it means he'll be someone's hero, because Captain Levi is Captain Levi, and who is Levi, if not the person who feeds others when he's still hungry himself?
And to be Hange's hero, when they've saved him so much? When they came to him, warm as a hearth and inviting as a home, like no one ever had before? It isn't even up for discussion. He'll do it.
After all, what did he dedicate his heart to?
End Note: I think in some languages, the verb "to miss" is kind of translated directly like "You are missing from me." The source was likely a delusion, but that in mind, this may just be Levi missing Hange to a big, big extent.
#hange zoe#levi ackerman#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#levihan#hanji zoe#levi x hanji#levi x hange#post war levihan#levihan angst#levihan headcanon#post-war levihan🗡️
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
Return to Nyan Nyaight Love-A Happy Ending in Sight?
Before I begin my analysis for Episode 9's NNL segment, I would like to thank everyone who reblogged my previous post and left kind and wholesome compliments about my analysis. It really warms my heart that so many of you guys enjoyed my thoughts on these segments. Especially if they helped provide a clearer understanding of what thematic purpose they serve in the Bucchigiri series. I'm more than happy to help and I appreciate the compliments.
Secondly, I'd like to thank @saph-yells-into-the-void for providing a majority of screenshots for me to use. Even though you didn't mind not being credited, you still deserve it for these great screenshots!
So just as a quick recap, the NNL segments serve as a Greek Chorus as they parallel the main story of Bucchigiri by using the customer's relationship with Jasmine to symbolize various relations and plot events. This time, their relationship parallels the main relationship of the series: Arajin and Matakara.
Episode 9: A Heartfelt Reunion
The segment starts with the customer being nervous as usual about whether he should go in, only to hurry inside as to avoid being spotted by Arajin who's on his way to the bathhouse. The customer is greeted by the receptionist who is still uneasy with him avoiding Jasmine. And even the customer himself looks less indecisive and more somber when he's asking for Pu'er instead of Jasmine.
As I mentioned in the Episode 1 segment, the customer is meant to symbolize Arajin while the catboy receptionist represents the colorful delinquents that Arajin encounters. And even though the first episode had Jasmine stand in for Mahoro, this time she stands in for Matakara.
The receptionist describes Jasmine as being strong-willed, clingy, and too much at times. Many of which are traits that are associated with Matakara.
-While Episode 9 shows him slowly succumbing to Ichiya's twisted therapy sessions, it's worth noting that it's been several days since when he first merged with the Blue Genie til then. So it's worth noting that Matakara lasted a good while before succumbing to Ichiya's will. And even before that, it was his strong will that helped him become stronger and find a place among Minato Kai while also evading the shadows that constantly haunted him. His determination in becoming stronger helped him to evade those shadows; maybe not vanquish them but not to succumb to them either.
-The clingy and too much at times qualities seem to go hand in hand as most of Matakara's screentime has been spent trying to reconnect with Arajin while holding him on a pedestal. Even as Arajin kept pushing him away, Matakara still clinged on to his idealized version of his best friend. One who constantly inspired him to be a Honki person and do the impossible. The too much at times part also works since Mataraka just wouldn't stop gushing over Arajin to his other friends or tries to force Mahoro to talk with him about Arajin and his involvement in Siguma Squad. While is very much a sunshine puppy boy, he can be quite overbearing when it comes to his old friend.
As of the last episode, Arajin made his true feelings for Matakara painfully clear and how he wants to avoid him at all costs. Only now the rest of the cast have taken notice and how much it's effecting Matakara given his refusal to talk to his other friends Zabu and Sakigake mixed with him running away from home. It's become a serious problem and they're all worried about him.
Something peculiar about the receptionist's behavior, and the whole scene overall, is how it's played for dramedy.
The receptionist treats the customer abandoning Jasmine as something tragic and how badly it's effecting her. There's soft music at play as the receptionist speaks his heart out about the cat's distress and how only the customer can help her.
But at the same time, it's just so ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous! There's no reason that the receptionist should need to be so invested in the customer's preferences in cats. They haven't actually bonded with each other apart from letting the customer in so he can spend time with the cats and spend Lord knows how much money. This is his job so it shouldn't matter which cat some random, pathetic everyman chooses to play with since he's still getting paid rather handsomely at the end of the day.
But it does matter to him.
Maybe (as far as we know) the receptionist doesn't know the customer very well but he (supposedly) knows that Jasmine truly misses him and is miserable without him. The receptionist could try to make Jasmine feel better herself given that he sees her more often and knows more about her. But he knows that she holds the customer in his heart and implores him to go back to her.
And while the Minato Kai boys don't care much for Arajin or flat out tell Arajin to patch things up with Matakara, they do make it clear that their friend isn't doing so well after their falling out. He's in need of help and they unfortunately can't do anything about it given how they were brushed aside. And even Mahoro, who also happens to be a colorful character that Arajin met when he entered the Ichizu gang life, has also picked up on Mataraka's despair and wants him to feel better. She clearly doesn't care for Arajin but she knows how much he means to Matakara, someone who understands her when it comes to valuing an older brother figure. She even flat out orders Arajin to go see how he's doing.
Something to consider is that while the Minato Kai boys and Mahoro have their respective but serious scenes with Arajin, they still have their quirky (questionable in Mahoro's case) personalities at play. Such as Sakigake singing his heart out in the bathhouse with Arajin while in his birthday suit to Mahoro having a tea party with a blow up doll of her big brother before learning about Matakara's brother. They're still weird and silly but they show how much heart they have and how they can empathize with someone who's at their lowest. And while they might not be the best person to help out, they know that Arajin is the best person to help them out.
Just like how the customer is the best person to help out the upset cat. And what does he choose when he's asked a second time?
He loses his mopiness for just a moment, becomes slightly more confident and chooses his precious Jasmine. Much to the receptionist's jubilation.
I'm gonna be leaning on the optimistic side and say that this will foreshadow Arajin reconciling with Matakara.
As much as I find Arajin to be a detestable and disappointing human being, I will admit that he is capable of growth. Particularly with bonding with his old childhood friend.
Right after defeating Akutaro, we see Arajin help out a grievously wounded Matakara while mildly complaining about it. We see them being on speaking terms during the Pro Wrestling Episode and Arajin even took the time to teach him how to make gyoza. Not to mention that Arajin was also willing to stick around for Mitsukuni's Welcome Party. The guy is not a good person (ESPECIALLY towards women) but he is capable of becoming better. Maybe at a snail's pace, but it's possible.
And we see those glimpses of growth in Episode 9 with him secretly admitting that there was one person (Matakara) who actually would like his rock for a gift.
So I want to be an optimist and say that Arajin will be able to save Matakara from his despair and they'll reconcile. Maybe accepting that he took Matakra's feelings for granted and how he should have treated his former friend better. How he was acting like a dunderhead and how he doesn't expect to be forgiven after treating him like yesterday's trash. I don't know if the puppy boy will forgive and accept Arajin again so quickly after everything that's happened (it actually would make for an impressive writing choice if Matakara chose not to accept him right away but with their being hope that they'll be friends in the future) but their relationship status will be a hopeful one.
Random Thoughts
When the receptionist brought up how the customer has seen other cats, I had two thoughts in mind. The first is from the Group Date til now, the customer has seen other cats at NNL apart from Pu'er.
The second is that this could be an implied parallel to Ichiya. I don't have enough information since we don't know much about Honki People and the Pasts of the Two Genies, but it's possible that Ichiya has encountered other masters in the thousands of years from when he was human to the present. The other cats could have been masters that Ichiya encountered and tried to possess to take revenge against Senya. But as the receptionist claims, Jasmine kept waiting for the customer. In this case, Jasmine was Senya. Ichiya's oldest friend who still longs to see and reunite with him after so many years of separation and regret.
Another thing I want to bring up is how conclusive this segment feels. It feels like it was wrapping up the plotline between the customer and Jasmine. I find this odd since this happened in Episode 9 and we supposedly have three more episodes before Bucchigiri is officially over. Does that mean we won't get more NNL segments in the final 3? Or will we still get them but in different formats? Like an epilogue of the customer bonding with Jasmine (along with getting an official reveal of who she is) or maybe we get a new customer who's set up to meet another cat potentially foreshadowing a final plot point in the series.
And those would be my thoughts on this segment. No lie, I did not expect this to be this long. But given how conclusive this NNL segment was, I felt there was alot to say about this. And what did you guys think of this segment? As before, feel free to reblog this if you agree with what I wrote, disagree or have another interpretation for this scene. So if you think of something, please say that you know.
"Do you know? Do you know? Do you know what this means?"
#bucchigiri?!#bucchigiri#arajin tomoshibi#matakara asamine#mahoro jin#zabu kakeru#komao sakigake#ichiya#senya#greek chorus#character analysis#anime#eddy's posts#Nyan nyaight love#the receptionist#the customer
61 notes
·
View notes
Text
More Than You Thought: A Hello Neighbor Fanfic
By JJ
Summary: Nicky is more messed up than anyone thought.
(P.S., for @spideysneighbor !)
Trinity walked down the hall of the school, the little black book in her hand that she showed to her friends. Then she walked by Mr. Murtaugh's Science Room, and she accidentally heard him say something that caught her attention.
"I know I'm not supposed to care about the kids, but this one is different.", he said, "He tried to kill himself for God's sake."
She knew it was risky, but she peeked into the room and saw the science teacher talking on the phone with someone.
Also, what did he mean by that? Who tried to kill themself.
"The boy's more messed up than we thought.", he said. "Nicky may have been a brat in the past, but now he's just...now he's just...a complete mess."
Trinity nodded as he said that, that much she already knew. Nicky was a mess. He was falling apart at the seams.
She didn't know if any amount of therapy would ever turn him back to normal.
"No, of course I don't care about him!", said Mr. Murtaugh, "I never said I cared, I'm just saying that maybe we're pushing him a little...too far. If he does end up killing himself, then -"
That was all Trinity heard before she ran when Mr. Murtaugh suddenly spotted her peeking through the door.
On the walk home, she ran to catch up with her friends. "Guys!", she called out.
No one even reacted when they saw her, they just kept walking and minding their own businesses. Even Enzo, and he was freaking obsessed with the girl.
"What do you want, Trinity?", asked Maritza. "You want us to help you find more clues?"
Trinity shook her head, "I just found out that Nicky almost killed himself."
The group stopped walking and turned to look at her. "Say what now?", said Ivan. "Why would he do that?"
Trinity rubbed the back of her head, "Well, yesterday after school, we had a fight."
Her friends exchanged a couple of worried looks.
"But we made up afterwards.", she said, and now they all seemed less worried. "But today, I overheard Mr. Murtaugh say that he caught Nicky about to kill himself. I don't know how he almost did it, but I'm still really worried."
"Oh God...", said Maritza. "I knew Nicky was going a little off the deep end, but I didn't think he'd try and do something like that."
"Yeah.", said Delroy, "I don't even like the guy, but I don't hate him so much that I want him dead. I'm not a monster."
Trinity looked down at her shoes, then she saw the school newspaper next to her feet.
Nicky was on the front page, and he had that angry face as he threw a chair out of the window.
She picked up the newspaper and looked at the bottom corner of the picture.
Picture taken by: Finch Yi
"Guys.", she said to her friends, "I think we need to have a little chat with a certain girl scout."
#hello neighbor#welcome to raven brooks#mr murtaugh#trinity bales#enzo esposito#maritza esposito#ivan#delroy#my fics#hello neighbor fanfic
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
about c&r
Hello my dear saioumers, it is I, jul chuwuyas. I wanted to stop by to talk a little bit about c&r since people ask me about it a lot
Unfortunately, to talk about it, I will have to dive into some personal stuff and share some things with you all that I've been keeping to myself for quite some time now and didn't really want to share, but felt like I needed to. So, since some stuff will be kinda, uh... serious? I will put everything under the cut
(TL;DR for those who don't wanna read about my personal life tho: c&r is NOT abandoned, but writer's block is not the only reason why I haven't updated the fic yet (tho it is one of them). I don't know when the hiatus will end. I'm sorry)
(CW for the things under the cut: mental illness, pet death, suicide ideation)
So, to start: yes, writer's block is one of the reasons why c&r is on hiatus. No, I have not been lying about it. I burned out so badly in 2021 that it's Still hard for me to write things that satisfy me because I reached my peak back then and was popping out 5, 6 fics in a month for 7/8 whole months when my usual is/was about 2 or 3 a year (if you check my ao3 page and the dates in which my fics were posted, you'll see that aside from the danganronpa fics, that usually was the case. I'm a slow writer). I'm still recovering. And the universe seems to not want me to.
Last year, around January, I felt like I was finally setting myself free from writer's block. I started writing something for my oc ship (yes, yes, I know. Not c&r. But what can I say? They bring me comfort) and I was so happy with what I got, so inspired to write, I was actually seeing the words on the doc again.
Then, one of my three cats got sick. Then, he died.
It completely broke me in a way I don't think I will ever recover. I was extremely attached to him and I drained all the money I had saved for therapy to try to save him, but it didn't work and I lost my cat, the money, and consequently my mental health. We spent almost an entire month taking him to the vet and bringing him back home because the vet kept telling us he was okay and then he'd get even worse and need hospitalization again, so that was more money spent on him. I had my friends help me with that, and I am immensely grateful even though it didn't work out in the end. Thank you for helping me bring him some comfort on his last days @ friendos.
After he died, a couple of months later, I tried writing again and managed to write a few thousand words, but my mental health still wasn't the best. Then, I started getting some personal problems that I will not talk about here but took a toll on me and shoved me back into the writer's block box, but now with the addition of increasingly growing self-doubt and depressive thoughts that soon turned suicidal.
Then, around September, another cat of mine got sick. And, this time, we didn't have money to help him.
He was my best friend. We basically grew up together (he was 13 and was born when I was 11, so I had him longer than I didn't have him) and I was also extremely attached to him. When he got sick, I would sit down on the floor and talk to him in tears asking him to hold on just until I got a job so I could pay for his bills. I didn't get a job fast enough to help him. It was me who found him, too.
From August to November, things were so bad in my life (between my personal life, my pets' deaths, and family members getting sick) I genuinely caught myself considering ending my suffering. Planning it. Thinking about it every day. Not wanting to wake up. It was a rough period of my life that I made it through alone because I didn't really tell anyone what was going on with me. I wished I could go back to the past. I wished I could change things to make the future not so bad. I'm still caught up in the past and nostalgic for a time that will not come back no matter how much I wish it would. But I pushed it through.
And one of the things that kept me from ending it all was the fact I haven't finished c&r yet.
I didn't wanna go without concluding the story. I didn't wanna go without showing you all what I have planned for the last chapter and how this story will end. So, I started using c&r as some sort of anchor — something to keep me going because I still have something to do on this earth before leaving. I love this story and I don't wanna leave it unfinished. I wanna see your reactions reading the last chapter, the freaking out, the key smashes, the DMs I'll receive, the theories, the fanarts. I love how big this story got and the little fandom it got for itself. People love something that I wrote so much they make art of it! They cosplay the characters, they write things based on it! It's so mindblowing that something like this would ever happen to me, I started telling myself: I can't die until I finish catch & release.
My mental health is way better now and I'm no longer considering suicide (though, ough, it sucks not having a lot of money). I have a job now and can pay for the vet in case my last cat gets sick. My personal life is good now, too, and my relative who's sick is doing a lot better. I have things to look forward to. Things are good now. I'm happy, though I still miss my cats every day.
I am, however, still using c&r as one of my anchors, and I don't know when I will stop doing so. So, for now, the fic is still on hiatus. But it isn't abandoned, and it will never be. I will finish it one day. So, until then, keep bearing with me.
Thank you for reading, and most of all thank you for understanding. I love you all.
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
Assorted headcanons about Phoenix and the seven year gap because it lives rent free in my head and I must yell
-I made another post about it but Edgeworth was the first to hear about State v Enigmar and Maya was the first to see Phoenix in person after he's disbarred (and the first to meet Trucy)
-Originally Phoenix and Trucys situation was just him fostering her at first, not an immediate adoption of her, largely cause Phoenix was hoping for her sake that Zak would eventually come back to AT LEAST see her, but after like- year 2 of Zak being gone, it turned into an actual adoption of her and she legally became Trucy Wright (although she had started going by that name a few months beforehand)
-The first year for Phoenix was- Well Rough To Say The Least, he ended up getting into a l o t of fights with both Maya and Edgeworth and started really pushing them away (never in front of Trucy but she could tell something was going on) largely cause in his mindset at the time he didn't really think they understood what was going on (which he very much realized was VERY stupid considering who he was talking to) and eventually it ended in both Maya and Edgeworth staging something of an intervention and being like "hey man your being a huge dick to both of us we're trying to help you through this but also whats going on in that head", they ended up finally actually Talking and settled things for once, things got better after that! slowly yet surely
-After the bar association trial, Phoenix was the first to approach Kristoph for believing him, and that where their friendship started (Kristoph was going to just do regular ol stalking instead but decided that being "friends" with him would probably be easier here so he went with it)
- personally my least favourite interpretation of the 7yg is where Phoenix knows that kristoph was the one who framed him all along, like idk it's just not very interesting to me, it's kinda boring ghjkhlj I absolutely where people are coming from with it though but idk hgjkhl it's lame to me
- Even though Phoenix was no clue whether or not he's going to become a lawyer again and pretty much had adapted to his new life, he always has that little thought in his mind that if he becomes one again, everything in his life will get better instantly, he'll be useful again (spoiler alert, it doesn't immediately fix his life! he has Depression)
-Around year 2 was when Edgeworth started bringing over Phoenix and Trucy to Europe (in my mind he spends about half the year in Europe and Half in America), while he DID give the reason that he needed Phoenixs help with a case or two (and that wasn't an outright lie) largely he just wanted to spend time with the two of them and didn't know how else to express it, by year 5 Phoenix caught on to what he was doing and found it VERY funny, after that their trips were much less law focused
-Phoenix met Athena in Europe in Year 3 and kept in contact with her until she arrived in America, and oh BOY can she tell he is very upset
-Eventually he does go to therapy like- after DD, at the insistence of Athena and Trucy (it takes him a bit cause he's one stubborn man but he gets there eventually!)
-He started growing out his hair and realized that he did actually like this hair longer so he kept it!
-While he does not regret making Apollo use the forged ace in court, he does hope that one day they'll be able to mend things since he knows it hurt Apollo a lot, he cares about Apollo but is giving Apollo the space he needs to make that choice on his own, he's very proud of both him and Athena
-Trucy gave him her second earring so they could match! He nearly sobbed when she did that hgjkhl He did have to get his ears pierced to wear it but dw he was very brave about it
ok thats all I can remember rn enjoy HJGKH
#aa4#you have no idea how often I think about him#MANY thoughts about this silly tragic man#enjoy <3#luna lrambles
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
╭ ・✿ ┊giving you a love letter 💌
╰ ₊︶︶⊹˚₊︶︶ includes shoto todoroki katsuki bakugou notice: g!n reader ♡ first time writing, please be nice!
₊˚﹕shoto todoroki the bell rang, indicating that class has ended. students of class 1-a rapidly starting putting their belongings away and started pushing each other out of the door to get to the next class period in time. mr aizawa, your homeroom teacher, got his laptop bag and sleepily walked through the door after the impatient students. some of your classmates stayed a little longer in the classroom to talk to friends, and you noticed that shoto todoroki was among the people who stayed. you stopped mid sentence in your writing to glance at him and you saw that he was absolutely glaring daggers at you. you wondered if he was purposely looking at you or if he had zoned out. you and todoroki were friends, and you'd be lying if you said you didn't find him attractive. the majority of the stragglers left the classroom, leaving only you and todoroki. you didn't notice this, so you kept writing your essay, determined to finish it in class because you absolutely hate homework. as you were immersed in your writing, you felt the touch of a hand tapping your shoulder. you looked up to see who the hand belonged to and you saw the peppermint haired boy standing above you. "hi, todoroki! do you need something?" you smiled and turned to face him. todoroki put his hand on his neck, he seemed embarrassed. or nervous. or angry? you couldn't tell. todoroki always had trouble expressing his emotions, but he recently started going to therapy to help him. "w-well, no i don't need anything. i have something for you." he stuttered. that wasn't like him, you thought. "oh? what is it?" you stood up, surprised. todoroki looked nervous and he glowed an adorable cotton candy pink color as he handed you a white envelope with your name in cursive on the front. "w-what is this?" you questioned, taken aback. there was no way the school's pretty boy just gave you a love letter. literally no way. "my therapist told me i should start being direct about my feelings and i should try writing them down, i made this letter for you to express how i really feel. i want to be honest with you. i really like you 'y/n'. would you go out with me?" he looked into your eyes and you looked into his. his beautiful, heterochromatic, eyes. one eye looked like the ocean waves on a hot summer's day, while the other looked like a storm cloud that circled over that ocean, threatening to disturb it. you broke the gaze and slung your arms around his neck, breathing in his scent and feeling at home with him. "i like you too, shoto todoroki. of course ill go out with you." ₊˚﹕katsuki bakugou
class 1-a started a tradition of once a month on a friday after school, you guys would all have a big dinner and all watch movies. this was secretly an excuse to get bakugou to cook. everyone couldn't believe it when he accepted the offer to cook for the whole class. tonight you all were watching scream 6, so he decided to make a spicy curry with chicken. everyone got their pajamas on and gathered in the common room that was filled in pillows, blankets, stuffed animals, and various other sleep over items. you smelled the delicious scent of bakugou's famous curry before you could even ask what he was cooking. you headed over to the island of the kitchen where you took a seat on the stool. "do you need any help with that?" you asked, kind of hoping he would say yes so you two could spend time together. he denied the offer by shaking his head, seeming too focused in his work to be interrupted. he looked puzzled, or like something else was on his mind. you shook it off as him just being immersed in his cuisine. as time passed, bakugou finally called to the class that dinner was ready to be served. everyone rushed to the kitchen, forming a line at the counter. you were patiently waiting for bakugou to hand you your plate. when he did, you too locked eyes for a few seconds, before you looked away, embarrassed. you felt a piece of paper under your plate, but you assumed it was a napkin. you went over to the couches to find a seat, scrolling on your phone to pass the time until the movie started. bakugou came over lastly with his plate, coming to sit by you. you dropped your phone as the movie began, and you started to eat your food. you reached for the supposedly napkin under your plate, until you saw that it was in fact an envelope, not a napkin. you excused yourself to the restroom, where you could get a closer look at the envelope without letting everyone know. you open the envelope while sitting on the counter of the bathroom and you read it. it contained a confession from bakugou, asking you to go out with him. you slightly started to tear up at his thoughtfulness and shyness. you always found him cute despite his usual grizzly bear self, and you promised yourself that you would accept his confession. you wipe your eyes and open the bathroom door, to be met with mr loverboy himself. "so.. i guess you read the letter?" he avoided eye contact. you found his shyness adorable, usually he seemed like a big angry grizzly bear who would cuss out anyone, and you loved the fact that he had a soft spot for you. "yes, i did. and i like you too, you big softie."
#mha fanfiction#shoto todoroki#katsuki bakugou#mha x reader#shoto x reader#katsuki x reader#bakugou x reader#todoroki x reader#mha fluff#mha imagines
58 notes
·
View notes
Text
before moving from home my attitude was "i'm not disabled im not i'm not i'm not i just hurt a lot all the time and i struggle to get out of bed and standing is extremely painful and i collapse a LOT because my knee just gives out and i have painful snaps and pops as i walk, especially when i turn, but im not physically disabled im just a whiner it's actually not that bad."
and then i moved here and i started using a cane so i would stop collapsing and i realised HUH. this helps. and my gf kept saying "you're literally physically disabled. please stop pushing yourself to perform at the level of an able bodied person" and like. yk i started to realise. maybe i am disabled.
but i LOATHE being disabled yk. i hate that i can't do things that i like to do yk. i hate that cooking is hard on me and i LOVE to clean the house but its physically painful. i struggle to do anything other than lay in bed a lot of days bc im in a lot of pain and its just.
i want to push past the disability and be able to operate the way others do yk? i want to do things i enjoy and feel accomplished and worthwhile and stuff. but im disabled and it makes me mad.
i'm like SUPER ableist but only toward myself bc like that's just how my family was yk? like i have ALWAYS had a lot of pain from my waist down, from since i was a little kid, but i was always told that i'm just a baby and it's not that bad and i'm just faking because i don't want to do things, yk?
and i wasn't allowed to go to a doctor about the pain or anything i was just supposed to deal with it and work through it and if i didn't i was being lazy and bad.
but then i went to a doctor when i got here and he's like.
"damn you've got some pretty bad degeneration in your hips, and a hip impingement caused by these can deformities in the ball of your hip joint. like this could potentially be early onset osteoarthritis"
and i'm just like. "😰 wait so i do have a physical disability?"
i'm in physical therapy to try to make it manageable and it's helping me a lot, but it's not helping me to be like. Able-Bodied, yk? it's going to help me get to a point where i am not constantly at a like, 5/10 on pain. and the goal is to get me to start operating at a point where im close to able-bodied level, but i will always be physically disabled.
and that's not even touching on the mental disabilities yk. i refused for a very long time to acknowledge that my mental disabilities were disabilities bc i was abused for not being able to perform at the level im supposed to. because im "really smart," so obviously me "not trying" in school is because im lazy, not because im disabled. i was literally offered to move on to like, college when i was like 7 because i was excelling so far beyond my level in the state standardised tests and stuff (they would do like, assessments and stuff, and my math assessment i was already on high-school level when i was 7, and my reading level was Beyond College.) and i turned it down as a kid because i had made my first friend. i'm wondering if i should've taken it now yk, but i think i would've instantly been made aware of exactly how debilitating my ADHD is. but also maybe it would be more one-on-one and would be easier on me, who knows.
anyways.
i'm physically disabled.
and i'm mentally disabled.
and both of these things affect me severely in day-to-day life.
and i'm finally starting to admit it to myself.
but i still haven't fully gotten over the hump, bc i often feel like im a failure, and worthless, literally just because im disabled.
and. i feel like if i don't try to perform beyond my capabilities at all times, im being lazy, and letting the disability win, yk?
and PT is helping me like, mentally get to a point where i'm like, okay. it's okay that i can't perform at the same level as others my age.
but it still sucks bc it doesn't just affect the things i NEED to do, it affects the things I WANT to do.
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm pissed and happy, and laughing over the irony and silliness of it all...
As people say "when you give up, it's when things happen".
I had to give up, find someone else who also did give up and, somehow, we find ourselves in each other.
We're both scared because it feels too good to be true. It feels safe, and easy. And terrifying.
I never thought I'd get the opportunity to date myself and even more incredible: to hear these words from someone else's mouth, towards me.
I never thought this would happen.
I've been preparing myself and readying my heart to remain alone for the rest of my life.
But, for some reason, this one part of me that held onto hope so desperately kept pushing and pulling at my emotions. It kept my heart open and it drove me to connections - of any kind, of any quality.
It led me to today.
2 months ago I confessed to one of my friends and got rejected on the spot: the same old story. Nothing new or surprising. I was expecting to be rejected, and I offered the opening to move forward from there and even forget I ever said anything (since I wanted to preserve this relationship). I could sense some regret on this person, wanting to genuinely return my feelings, but that was just not going to happen.
It's fine, I move on, nothing change between us.
As how it happened with other friends I have confessed to, the friendship started getting deeper, more akin to what I need from my relationships - that's one good reason why I stopped burning bridges at rejections: it's an opportunity for a deeper connection, albeit not of the romantic kind - but a few things started getting alarming, in ways that would be very easy for me to misunderstand...
Something changed for this person. I'm not sure why and I will ask but... something changed from the moment I confessed and progressed to a different answer.
A positive one.
But yes, we are both scared.
I said I didn't want to get hurt again. I don't want to "try" things out and then be tossed aside again. I'm done with these games.
"Please think properly about it."
"I have, and I gave you my answer."
I cannot say this feels like a "dream come true" since it does not even feel real at all. It's not a dream. It's very much reality.
And I'm really scared.
But I haven't felt this happy ever in my life. This is the first time I'm experiencing this joy and that's exactly it: the piece of the puzzle that was missing. Something that I cannot "solve" or fulfill or find substitutes in therapy, friends, hobbies, etc... that's the real deal.
The difference is tremendous.
I found the one, without even looking for it.
A person just like me, quite literally.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
[ … ] ❀ you’re not from around here , are you? i figured because you totally just missed { angela arendt } walking by. don’t tell me you don’t know who { she } is? they kind of look like { rachel weisz } and i could be wrong but i think that they might be { forty eight } years old right now. they’ve been living in palmview for the last { three years }. and i don’t know if anyone has ever told them this before but they kind of remind me of { abby sciuto } from { ncis }. if you stick around the town long enough you might catch them in action working at { seaglass heights hospital } as a { therapist }. you see this town isn’t really that big of a place, some folks like to call them the { paradox } of palmview! they took a liking to the name too after a while, go figure. oh crap, they must have heard me yapping. they’re coming this way. i got to warn you though, rumor has it they can pretty { judgy } at times. i wouldn’t take it too seriously though, from the times i’ve spoken to them they seemed pretty { dedicated } to me. we see each other all the time since they live in that { 1 bed } apartment beside me over in { coral cove }. i better leave you to it. it was nice meeting you!
name: angela arendt nickname(s): ang, angie, jelly date of birth : august 2nd, 1976 birthplace : st. louis, missouri birth parents: elias & seraphina tannenbaum (both deseased) adopted parents : penelope & dominic arendt siblings : oscar (raised), lukas (bio), ezra (bio) & elias (bio) height : 162cm / 5'4" ft ethnicity : jewish orientation : bisexual + demiromantic martial status : single children : none languages : english, hungarian, ASL degree(s) : PHDs in sociology and psychology, degrees in criminology and forensic science
background {WIP - will likely add more}
adopted as a small child, after her parent's death, she only knew her adopted parents as family. she grew up with a brother, two years older than her but still thick as thieves. her parents are both deaf so she learned ASL before learning english from her teachers and the neighborhood kids.
she was a gifted child and her determination to solve what was in front of her, pushed her further still. she excelled in school, and even though she did not have many friends, the ones she had were very dear to her.
~~~~
after her post-graduate studies, angela threw herself fully into her work. from literal crime-solving to social work to therapy and children's rights coordinator, the work was hard and cruel but she had felt like it was her god-given responsibility to help as many people as she could.
while it might have seemed obvious to everyone that even the good guys were not bulletproof, she always kept her hope and spirits high for justice to prevail. it was not blind optimism to ang, as she had seen plenty of tragedy, from her friends and close colleagues and even close calls herself. she just knew she had to keep her faith or she and those she was trying to help wouldn't make it.
angela's has had her fair share of significant others and partners but it just never seemed to work in the long term. her standards are high and even as the years passed, she didn't want to lower it or sacrifice her goals to settle. she has no regrets in this aspect as she is a proud aunt and loving sister and still has fun dating.
sex and physical affection is just the way of life but love really means something. angie can be standoffish or even cold to those she doesn't know or doesn't care for - but once she loves you, she's yours for life. loyal to her core
after years of working for the government and it's agencies, her work came to a sudden halt. there had been a project, a mission, an assignment - and a close friend family member of hers had been killed. killed saving her.
when she woke up in the hospital days later - it was like a gun went off in her head (i mean, one went off beside her head) and she realized that she couldn't save everyone. now it would have to be enough to save herself. at the same time, she also had a crisis of faith. she has not stepped foot inside a temple since then.
ang wanted to do something to honour him and his life and decided to start a NGO to work with foster care children and single mothers to get them into safe housing. it was the perfect use of her old social work and psychology experience and she was sure he was supporting her efforts from wherever he was.
palm view had been the perfect breath of fresh air for angie, feeling a weight lifted from her heart when she started to settle in and even get a job getting back to her routes. truly just talking to, learning about and helping people.
resume
Columbia University : internship / teaching assistant [ 1992 - 1997 ]
NYC Health + Hospitals : forensic psychologist [ 1997 - 1999 ]
Bureau of Public Health : clinical social worker [ 1999 - 2003 ]
Federal Bureau of Investigation : forensic technician [ 2003 - 2009 ] special agent [ 2009 - 2013 ]
ICPO–INTERPOL : interpol liaison officer - translation & social work [ 2013 - 2018 ]
Redacted : Redacted [ 2019 - 2019 ]
Seaglass Heights Hospital : therapist [ 2022 - current ]
#angie { biography }#palmviewintro#death tw#death mention tw#funerals tw#illness tw#injury tw#murder tw#violence tw
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
@unladielike * ✭ ❪ cont. from here┊☓ ❫
Reanne had thought coming clean would do less harm over time (as owning up to a mistake was usually the best thing to do in most scenarios). However, she had an inkling that Vivian wouldn't take it so well—hence why she had stalled until now to really say why she had stood her up that day. Honestly, the moment she saw that look of disgust on the other girl's face, the auburn-haired girl knew Vivian was the same as any other of the girls who hated her. Their reasons for hating her were all the same: they were jealous of her relationship with guys, they were jealous that they couldn't be as pretty and confident as her, and they were jealous of not being as desired by others as she was. She was used to being called shallow and easy, but hearing that from someone she thought she was becoming friends with was a blow indeed.
Clenching her hands into fists in her lap, Reanne found herself unable to tap into the better approaches of conflict management right now. She felt betrayed in more ways than one with how quickly she was being reduced to a typical mean girl in a storybook. She had hoped this girl was different. She hoped that Vivian would be more like Ophelia, someone with a brain and understanding that even if they were different and lived in different circles there could be a good friendship. So what if she wanted to seek out a romantic relationship and be intimate with a guy? So what if she wanted to dress up and look pretty for herself? Why did that make her 'shallow' and 'sick'? Why did following her average girly wants like having a boyfriend to be lovey-dovey with make her a bad person?
The more Vivian talked, the more Reanne felt her rage boil in her veins. She didn't want to hear this. Yes, she was shitty for standing her up, but she tried to make up for that on her own dime when she could have chosen to do nothing at all. Vivian had a right to be mad about being stood up, but to assume that she slept with Alex of all things, accuse her of being nothing but a basic slut, and to reduce a very important person in her circle to a fuck toy—this girl was going to get it!
With a glare of her own, she stared daggers into Vivian's eyes, not backing down for a second as she countered with her own festering anger, ❝ You think you have the right to talk to me like that—immediately assuming I'm some sort of shallow slut for talking to a guy I happen to like?! ❞ Reanne yelled back at the girl sitting across the table with fire burning in her eyes. So much for maybe having another girl to be friends with. But if Vivian was going to assume stuff about her because of how she carried herself, she was going to throw the fire right back, ❝ of course anime nerds like you would immediately jump to this crap—can't get a guy so you love to project your own perverted shit onto the people around you! I never screwed a guy, for fuck's sake! ❞
The fact Vivian even thought of her as just another of those popular girls who got around made her feel so betrayed. Throughout the moments in which Reanne could feel her heart pound loudly against her ribs, her anger was making way towards visible hurt instead, a burning sensation budding at the edges of her eyes and within her throat, ❝ God forbid the guy I like suddenly shows up on fucking Valentine's Day covered in snow and freezing after a year of no contact to give me something the second I was heading to the damned mall, Vivian! ❞ There was a lot more context to that, but she didn't have the focus to properly communicate the details.
As angry as she was, Reanne could feel a heated kind of pain swimming in her chest, a feeling that quickly took over the heightened anger she had a moment ago (thank therapy for making it harder to stew in the reactive anger phase). Although the raging fire in her eyes was slowly fading, she kept her brows furrowed and her lips down turned in displeasure. Pushing her chair back and standing up abruptly, she slammed her palms loudly on the table, fighting to prevent her angry tears from falling, ❝ I apologized, I made it up to you with a full price dinner from the same fucking place—what else could I have done to set it right huh?! You want me to be your perfect little gal pal who has no desire for a guy in her life? Get real, Vivian! I'm not obsessed with pixels nor can I ever be! ❞
#profanity cw#long post cw#* ✭ ❪❪ reanne ↠ in character ❫.#unladielike#;; wow-- Reanne... I am proud of her ngl#;; if this was years ago she would've cussed Vivian out + bitch slap her and never look back instead of trying to communicate feelings#;; like she would've just cut the entire relationship completely out of rage and wouldn't bother to repair it#;; but right here... girl is actually sticking to have a conversation and being more productively angry
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Last Superheroes/What Happened To The Real Steven Boxleitner Lore Update
I am making some changes to my oc backgrounds for these aus (spoilers for @melodythebunny and her New Neighbor's au story) Trigger Warning: Heavy and Dark topics. Read at your own risk. So Maddrix is named Matthew Dunner -he has no ties with his bio family -his dad is a deadbeat that left when he was very young. -he used to be the superhero partner to his uncle (Captain Valiant) but after a violent outburst was outed to the public and kicked out by his uncle and mother around 17. This created his hatred for heroes which what lead to the massacre. -Maddrix had unresolved anger issues and violent behaviors that neither his uncle nor mother bothered to fix with therapy. Maddrix didn't try to resolve them himself after he was kicked out, he just rather channeled it to his villainy and battles as well as his hatred towards heroes. -he soon met a young Professor Carl Woods when they were both in their mid to late 20s. It was love at first sight for the men. -Carl was the one who proposed to Maddrix on a date with specially designed flowers that shot out glowing spores which spelled "Will You Marry Me?" (Eris's idea for the proposal). -All of their children are clones created by Carl mixing their DNA together. Their children are Victor, Emily, and Gene Woods. (Maddrix took Carl's last name.) -Maddrix made sure his uncle couldn't continue in the hero business after ripping an arm off the man. -Maddrix was a pretty decent dad. He loved his kids. He loved his husband. He tried to be involved in the kids lives as much as he could. Gene was of course his favorite out of the kids. Instead of letting them choose their own paths, Maddrix put particular focus on Gene and his potential for villainy. He wanted Gene to become a powerful villain like himself. Maddrix was fair with his training towards Gene. He didn't push Gene into something the boy wasn't prepared for. Maddrix found Carl cute when he got angry and huffy. Compared to Carl, Maddrix was calm and restrained when it came to driving. Carl had road rage issues and could swear like a sailor sometimes. Maddrix did swear, but he could control it though. -Maddrix told Carl his family was to be considered dead and didn't want him or the kids interacting with them. He didn't go to either his uncle's or mother's funeral. -Maddrix and his family did have a happy life...that is why the massacre was so tragic and soul crushing for Maddrix's family when it happened. -Maddrix is bisexual as is Gene and Emily. Victor is Pansexual. Carl is Gay. Carl Woods -Professor Carl Woods was a well known geneticist and inventor before he was kidnapped when Gene was about 20. -Due to the time period Carl grew up in, he had no idea of his own sexuality until his first partner, a female, helped to bluntly point it out for him. They broke things off amicably and remained good platonic friends until his kidnapping. -Carl is the second youngest son in his family -His father, Jeremy Woods, married Jessica Boxleitner who had a son from her previous marriage. Her son's name is Thomas Boxleitner. Jeremy was a good father to both Thomas and Carl. These step brothers got along pretty well and Carl still kept in contact with Thomas after Jeremy had remarried when Jessica passed away from health issues. (Thomas was 22 when it happened, Carl was about 14 0r 15.) Jeremy then remarried to Alice Baxter. She gave birth to two children who were Carl's half siblings. The first born was a girl named Caroline Baxter. The second was a son named Nathan Baxter or Nate for short. The parents' last name was Woods-Baxter. Jeremy and Alice sadly divorced out of grief when Nate "died" under mysterious circumstances. He was a stage hand on a puppet show called "Welcome Home" 😈. Caroline tried to find evidence about what really happened to her brother but she couldn't find anything. Carl tried to help her as much as he could but could find no scientific reason. (He never considered the supernatural at all.) -to be continued @erraticeris
#wordgirl#wordgirl au#the last superheroes au#maddrix the malicious#what happened to the real steven boxleitner au#professor carl woods#cloning#tw: abuse#tw: violence#tw: abandonment#tw: kidnapping#tw: heavy issues#welcome home au#new neighbors au#Nathan Baxter#Thomas boxleitner#steven boxleitner#gene woods#victor boxleitner “woods”#emily boxleitner “woods”#stargirl#rebecca fuller#margret fuller#melodythebunny#erraticerisau#tw: massacre#tw: toxic relationships#tw: amputation#tw: swearing
9 notes
·
View notes
Note
Eri convinces Shinsou to help her make candy apples.
Bonus points for Dazawa appearing.
"You're sure you can handle it?" Aizawa said. He was still sitting on the couch, pressed down into the back cushions like he didn't really believe Yamada was about to drive him to physical therapy, like he wasn't sure Hitoshi could handle being left alone.
"Of course," Hitoshi said, trying not to slouch. He wanted the words to be stronger, but he wasn't sure how to say everything. The other heroes were busy, and Aizawa had no adult friends who were not heroes. Hitoshi couldn't drive. Aizawa couldn't drive. This was really the most rational setup. He could do it, he had to do it—he had to at least do just this one thing. How could he claim the competency to join the hero course if he didn't? And after everything, he couldn't cause Aizawa more trouble. He wanted to be a help. He had to be a help.
"If you change your mind," Aizawa said, reaching over the arm of the couch for his cane, "You can always call us. We'll come back."
"Just leave already," Hitoshi said. It didn't have quite the effect he was aiming for.
…
When the latch of the door clicked shut, something unknotted in Hitoshi's spine. A part of him hadn't believed they would really go, hadn't believed they would trust him enough.
Beside him, Eri stood staring at the door, clutching a stuffed cat in her hands. She was as silent as ever. It was sort of unnerving.
"Um," Hitoshi said, sticking his hands in his pockets to look casual, "Want to watch TV?"
…
Hitoshi slumped in the corner of the couch where Aizawa always sat, trying to discern the plot of a cartoon about a family of foxes. He wasn't sure if it was set in a fictional world populated by anthropomorphic animals, or if this was a family with a mutation quirk. It was hard to pay attention. His thoughts kept distracting him.
Eri had plopped down in front of the television an hour ago, but now she stirred, climbing careful to her feet and approaching, slow and methodical. Hitoshi felt himself transfixed as she stopped directly in front of him, blocking his view and twisting her hands.
"Hey," Hitoshi said, "What's up?"
"I—can we—is it lunchtime?" Eri said.
"Sure," Hitoshi said, dragging himself out of the cushions, "What are you hungry for? Do you like sandwiches?"
"Candy apples," Eri said.
Hitoshi paused halfway around the coffee table. "Candy apples? Do we have those? And isn't that more of a dessert?"
"We don't have them," Eri said, completely confident, "But we can make them."
"No we can't," Hitoshi said, and immediately regretted it. "I mean—I don't know how to make them."
"Oh," Eri said, somber and serious, "But I thought you were also a hero."
"I am," Hitoshi said, unsure what he was missing. Behind them, a fox child prattled on. "Heroes don't all know how to make candy apples."
"Heroes protect my smile," Eri said, like she was explaining how to count to ten, "And candy apples make me smile."
"Isn't there anything else?" Hitoshi said. "I really don't know how to bake like that."
Eri shrugged, pushing her hair behind her ear. "It's okay. Not everybody is as good of a hero as Deku."
…
Hitoshi stood over the sink, running cold water into the pan and begging under his breath for the smoke alarm to stay quiet. Apparently, spite was not a good baking teacher.
"Is it finished?" Eri called from the living room. He had made her a sandwich and banished her after he realized his incompetence was going to be obvious. He had still thought he could salvage something then.
"Just hang on a second," Hitoshi said, pulling his phone out of his pocked. For a moment he hesitated, deciding who he would rather embarrass himself in front of.
Midoriya picked up almost immediately. "Hi Shinsou!" he said, obnoxiously cheerful. "I didn't think—I'm really happy that you called me! What's going on?"
"Can you make candy apples?"
"Um, only if Sato is directing me," Midoriya said, "It's really difficult actually—hard candy is sort of a delicate process."
"But can you explain it to me?"
"Is this about Eri?" Midoriya said.
"Yeah," Hitoshi said, crouching to look for something under the sink he could scrape the pan with. "I told her I'd make some."
"Okay," Midoriya said, "Give me ten minutes."
…
"And everything's been going fine?" Aizawa asked. Against his ear, Hitoshi could hear the rush of the highway around him, the blast of the music Yamada was running through the car speakers.
"Yes," Hitoshi said, and it was true. They were all safe. "We're watching a lot of television. We had lunch."
Something tapped against the window above the sink. Hitoshi looked up. Midoriya was standing outside, waving his arm wildly.
"I'll see you soon," Hitoshi said, and hung up before he could think better of it. Then he opened the window.
Midoriya handed him a shopping bag through the gap. He was still breathing heavily.
"What is that?" Hitoshi asked, but he knew. The bag was pale, and the red candy shone through.
"Just take them out of the packaging," Midoriya said, "She'll never know. I won't tell."
"Society colapsed last semester," Hitoshi said, like he was explaining how to count to ten. "Are the hero students allowed off campus? Alone?"
"Um," Midoriya said, "Please don't tell."
Hitoshi stared at him. Then he shrugged. "Okay. Deal."
#bnha#bnha manga spoilers#shinsou hitoshi#my hero academia#salt and light#my fanworks#bnha manga#bnha spoilers#30 minute fic
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fill My Empty Heart: A Hello Neighbor Fanfic
By JJ
Summary: After Mya's death, Aaron committed suicide. Mr. Peterson, desperate to have a family again, takes in the depressed and heartbroken child across the street, Nicky Roth.
Prologue
Nicky didn't want to believe it when he heard it, he didn't even want to believe it when he saw the two caskets at the funeral.
But no matter how much he tried to deny it, it was true.
Aaron and Mya were dead.
Apparently, Mya accidentally fell off the roof and landed on her head. From how the police saw it, Aaron was so overwhelmed with depression, he ended up hanging himself on the showerhead.
If you'd been there, you remember Nicky being the one who cried the most at their funeral. It was such a sad sight.
Aaron and Mya were the first friends he made since he moved to Raven Brooks, and him and Aaron were best friends. So to find out that they were dead, it was like being stabbed in the heart by a thousand knives.
His depression made him not want to eat anything, do anything, he didn't even want to speak to anyone sometimes.
When you're depressed, you lose interest in all of the things that make you happy. It's heartbreaking, but it's true.
His parents tried to help him and cope with his loss, but he just shut them out. They tried their hardest not to give up, no matter how difficult it was getting.
One night at dinner, Nicky didn't even bother trying to eat what was on his plate. He just pushed it around with the fork in his hand.
"Nicky, please try to eat something. It's been two weeks.", said Luanne, almost begging her son.
But it was like Nicky didn't hear her, or he was ignoring her, because he just sat down his fork.
Jay tried a joke to lighten the mood, "Wow, you're really taking this whole grieving thing to a whole new level.", he said. "All you need now is some black nail polish and some hair dye and you'll make the perfect Lydia Deetz."
Luanne looked at her husband, confused. "From Beetlejuice. Don't tell me you've never seen that movie, we've gotta watch it together sometime."
As they talked about how now wasn't the time to talk about that one creepy movie, Nicky just rolled his eyes and picked up his fork again, continuing the act of just pushing around the food on the plate. Luanne sighed, giving up on trying to get her son to eat.
A moment of silence passed through the room before Luanne spoke up again. "Nicky, can you explain to me why I got a call from your new school that you attacked a student?"
"They said Aaron deserved to die."
Luanne sighed again. Of course it was about Aaron. She got up and walked over to her son, placing her hands on his shoulders. "Sweetheart, I know you're upset, but you can mourn him forever."
"Maybe not, but I can at least try to be the only one that remembers him."
Luanne tilted Nicky's head up to meet her gaze, "I've been on the phone all afternoon, and the principal recommended that you see the counselor every once in a while to discuss your feelings."
Nicky gently pushed his mother away, "I don't need therapy, Mom."
"Yes you do.", said Luanne. "I know it's not exactly a cure, but it might help you."
Nicky quickly shook his head, not listening to her anymore. He got up from his chair and walked out of the kitchen. "I'm going to bed.", he mumbled. Jay and Luanne just stayed there in the kitchen, frustrated with how they kept failing every attempt to help their own son.
That night, Nicky didn't go to sleep. He just sat on the edge of his bed, wishing that he would just die already, just to be with Aaron and Mya again.
#hello neighbor#jay roth#luanne roth#nicky roth#angst#my fics#tw suicide mention#fill my empty heart#kidnapped au#tw depression
6 notes
·
View notes