starshower1215

[starshower1215]

Uhh... Alexa, play "Careless Whisper."

Okay but jokes aside, THIS IS SO COOL. Hange and steampunk is the best aesthetic to pair them with, hands down, because they would go mad for steampunk mechanics. Also, ooh. That outfit. The hat. The accessories. THE MONOCLE. It's a dark and deadly, Grim Brothers' version of the Mad Hatter and it is amazing.

Steampunk Hange has arrived

[starshower1215]

when you get this, list 5 sounds that the world around us makes that u like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (positivity is cool, but no pressure!) ♥️ 💫

Thank you for the ask, @quillsandblades! This is very unique one, I had to take quite a bit of time to consider, but let's see:

The rustle of tree leaves in the wind. Specifically those old, thick, towering trees in a strong breeze. To even notice this sound, I have to be quiet, and no one can be speaking to me. It has to be an interlude or a rest, because it's such background noise that you'd never pay attention otherwise. The leaves rustle, I notice them, then they leave behind traces of their following silence in the air and in my mind. I'm like a hamster on a wheel most days, so this, to me, is like the world was holding its breath while I scramble around to get everything done, and in that moment, it releases one great, big exhale of relief, like the exhausted puff after a long workout, or the sigh of my bed after a long day when I fall into it.

The sound of rain, if there is no thunder and not too heavy. I like rain in general, but I mostly prefer the softer kind, where it isn't drizzling nor pouring, but just raining as though the clouds are relaxing and letting go of it. That kind of pace. It's all-surrounding, I like how dark it makes the world, the smell of it, when the drops are like patters instead of splashes. It's comforting.

The slow sound of clothing. I don't mean this in any sexual manner, but the sound of putting on and taking off clothes slowly is so soothing to me. It's very sensual and intimate if you do it mindfully. I think your relationship with yourself is as much a relationship as it is with your friends and family, so if in the morning, you're slipping your clothes on with soft and gentle hands, it's like telling your body and your mind, "Hey, I still love you. Let me show you that we're starting off on good terms today." It's an acts-of-service show of love and forgiveness, I think, and the languid rustle of fabric accompanies it.

The sound of my rice cooker. A little odd, but each time I use it, it sings me a little tune of beeps when it starts cooking the rice, then when it's done, it serenades me again. It pulls my attention away, but gently, and this is silly, but I imagine the rice cooker is just... Some little mushroom friend of mine, and he's tugging me away by the sleeve to say, "Hey, hey, listen to one of these songs I have. I haven't seen you smile in a second."

Laughter. I loveee people's laughter. I always try to make them laugh if I can. The sound is so delightful, so pretty and beautiful, it's untethered from worry, it pulls you into the moment, and hearing the proof of it has me like, "Damn, never stop making that sound ever." When you're laughing, gasping for air, you can't be thinking of anything else. You're just so you. You're actually living when you're laughing, and for me to experience a person's laughter, to share in their living and their happiness and their them-ness? Oh, I love that.

[starshower1215]

I did NOT know there was a new season?! It's been years. Whatever heavenly entity decided to bring this back, I'm bowing at their feet, this show was my LIFELINE a couple years ago.

New Natsume Yuujinchou Season 7 PV!

[starshower1215]

when u get this, list 5 songs u like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (positivity is cool, but no pressure!) ♥️♥️

Thank you! Here's some songs I like:

"Bones On The Beach" by Paris Paloma

"The Saltwater Room" by Owl City

"Sunsetz" by Cigarettes After Sex

"It Will Come Back" by Hozier

"Each Time You Fall In Love" by Cigarettes After Sex

[starshower1215]

"[W]hile Levi has a healthy and realistic understanding of the world around him and just how brutal it can be, while he suffers under no illusion or naivety about the nature of people and the world and the darkness present in those things, he also refuses to accept that that's So, while Levi has a healthy and realistic understanding of the world around him and just how brutal it can be, while he suffers under no illusion or naivety about the nature of people and the world and the darkness present in those things, he also refuses to accept that that's all it can be"

Beautifully said, and so fitting for his character. I learn so much about how to grow from Levi, and I swear, I learn how to write him a little bit by looking at how you write him. It looks so deeply into his past and his character, more so than any other writer of his I've read (save for Isayama though I suppose lol)

would you consider levi an optimist?

That's a really interesting question, and kind of a complex one, too, I think.

I think Levi tends to straddle the line between optimism and cynicism, but ultimately falls into being an optimist. Not because he's delusional or naive, but really, precisely, because he isn't.

On the one hand, Levi has had a hard life. A really, really hard life, in which he's experienced incredible loss, suffering and grief. And as a result, I think he's in many ways been conditioned to expect the worst. His monologue to the 104th about always being prepared and the fastest to act in dire situations is largely a result of what I would say is PTSD, having grown up in an extremely hostile environment and in horrific circumstances, constantly surrounded by predators and cruelty and the worst humanity has to offer. Surrounded by pointless suffering and death. His own life growing up was largely nothing but that. That's what the world was to him, what the world showed him it was. He never knew anything else, really, until he met Furlan and Isabel.

And yet, it's through the bond we see Levi form with Furlan and Isabel that we're shown something essential about his character, which is that, despite being exposed to nothing but suffering, cruelty and ugliness his entire life, he still somehow managed to have an open enough heart to befriend and care about these two other people. Not because they had anything material to offer, or because he could use them to get ahead in some way, like would have been taught to him by the likes of Kenny and the rest of the criminal element Underground, but simply because he has a good heart and, despite everything in his life trying to impress upon him otherwise, Levi still believed in life having value and meaning, in life being important, and in people being worth it. Despite the world and his circumstances growing up trying to snuff out all love in his heart, Levi refused to allow it. He simply couldn't.

And that's where I think the inherently optimistic, even idealist aspect of Levi's nature comes in. Levi's refusal to dismiss life as meaningless or give into the ugliness around him speaks to something innately positive in his character. He has the strength and the hope to keep believing people are worth while, that their lives are worth while, despite seeing and experiencing in the most brutal and intimate ways just how horrible people can be, and how unfair the world is. He never let the cheapness with which life was treated and discarded around him influence him into thinking the same. He never let that turn him cold or bitter or unfeeling toward other people's suffering. In spite of it all, in spite of being shown over and over and over that life was without value, he refused to accept it. He rebelled against that notion wholeheartedly, even when he felt it was a losing battle. He couldn't and wouldn't accept that something he regarded as precious should ever be treated as anything less, even as that was all he was ever taught.

So, while I think Levi's been traumatized by how awful his life has been, and that it's caused him to expect bad things to happen all the time, even to the point of not really being able to fully believe in the idealistic goals of the Survey Corps, i.e. a utopian society or world, as I've talked about so much, there's also an undying hope in Levi's refusal to give up on people, and in his stubborn attempts to fight against the cruelty of meaningless death. Levi just cares too much about other people, and believes too powerfully in life's inherent value, to ever be a true cynic. He loves people, and I think that's why Levi, against all odds, always ends up with these little families of his. Furlan and Isabel, Erwin and Hange, and finally Gabi and Falco and Onyankopon. That light and positivity in Levi, that open heart, draws people to him. They can sense how much he cares, and how much compassion he has in his heart for others.

So, while Levi has a healthy and realistic understanding of the world around him and just how brutal it can be, while he suffers under no illusion or naivety about the nature of people and the world and the darkness present in those things, he also refuses to accept that that's all it can be, and he constantly fights against that tide of brutality and cruelty through his own kindness and compassion.

And I think that's really what would define an optimist, in the end. Someone who knows how horrible the world can be, and how horrible people can be, and yet still does all he can to oppose that horror. That's Levi all the way.

[starshower1215]

Reblog if you want one of these in your ask box:

•A compliment

•A story

•Why you follow me

•A cute message

•One thing you want to tell me

•One thing you want to know about me

[starshower1215]

hange would be very difficult to find if they're not in their laboratory, because there's the whole world outside their lab, and they're a free, wandering spirit. so whenever any of their friends try to find them, said friends look ridiculous, searching around in the shrubbery where hange may be collecting samples of who knows what, or walking blindly through the paths, eyes cast constantly upwards at thick tree branches where they know hange has climbed before to sit and to read.

and the 104th would learn this by watching their commanding officers look stupid staring at trees all the time, and they'd be confused: "captain levi...? what are you yelling up a tree for?"

and find out moments later when a rustling comes from above, and then hange drops down from the tree like the silly, curious hange they are. "sorry," levi says unapologetically. "i was trying to lure an idiot out of its nest. come on, shitty glasses."

and watch as the two of them saunter off, hange with a bounce in their step as they show off what they found, and wonder how this is the same officer who can switch so seamlessly to order and command on the field.

[starshower1215]

The Blitzstone trio makes a return! I miss you both in my notifications, what a pleasant surprise. Back to you both, thank you for the tags @corbin-is-sleepy @aestophobia

And to mutuals who I have made a significant enough number of interactions with to call acquaintances lol. It makes my day to see you in my notifications.

@storiesofaot @sunflowersunite @quillsandblades @violetscanfly

Reblog if you have the best mutuals.

[starshower1215]

Reference here

[starshower1215]

I'm so calm and normal about this, I promise.

Have some levihan doodles

[starshower1215]

Random Ways to Interpret the "Dedicate Your Heart" Scene

Based around Levi's refusal to look at Hange. What could be some reasons behind this?

Shame. He is ashamed to look at them because he isn't stopping them, and he's going against himself because he has never been a risk taker. He seems to keep to playing it safe to minimize his regrets, so allowing Hange to leave while fully aware of the imperative fact that this is a gamble, that their life is the stakes, and that the odds are against them entirely, possibly resulting in a pointless death... All of it goes against his morals. Perhaps he's afraid to look at them for fear of seeing them staring back with the same revolt for him which he feels inside.

Parallels to Erwin's death. Perhaps he's afraid that if he looks at Hange's face, he'll see the look he saw in Erwin's eyes on that ever sunny day in Shiganshina and lose it. After all, it's the same scenario: a word of goodbye as he sends what he holds dear to their untimely death. And it isn't as though Hange isn't doing precisely what Erwin did, with such a gamble. So if he had looked and seen Erwin's face, it would be difficult to control himself upon the physical reminder that he'd crossed this path before. He might start wanting to search for redemption by denying Hange, trying to save them, the things he couldn't afford to do before, but they both know at this point how much duty must outweigh desire.

Wanting to remember Hange as they were. He wants the final imprint of their memory not to be their death, or what they've become. Despite the prevalence of his affection for them, he knows they've been made to change, and to see them give up for the first time would shatter him. And maybe they aren't giving up in the way it may seem, but maybe he isn't ready to see signs of resignation on their chronically determined face. He may never be, really, so he chooses to try to remember the way they wanted to be, and not who they became.

So that they don't see him. Reluctant as he is, Hange asked him to let them go, and Levi would never, ever deny a comrade their dying wish. His actions have always spoken louder than his words, so he uses mostly words to send them off, and only the slightest touch of a fist to their chest, because he knows his body, his face may betray what he wants their last impression of him to be: seeing them off, and giving them the courage and forgiveness to leave him. To let them see his pain would be an act of cruelty, because they'd carry the knowledge that they'd broken his heart with them into battle, and die knowing the one of the last things they'd done was hurt him.

The chance of seeing a pleading look on their face, begging for his forgiveness for such an unforgivable act, may simply have been too much, especially since Hange would never truly plead anyone for anything unless it was their only choice. "Please let me go" means "please forgive me. Won't you forgive me?" And that is such a difficult thing to ask of him, to forgive them, but that he never says anything but "Dedicate your heart" may mean that he wants to say, "It was never a question. I'll forgive you." (I lost half the mental notes for this one)

[starshower1215]

Hange in your style is angelic. You put so much of their personalities into just one drawing, and so much life in, it's insane.

best friendship dynamics (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ!! (눈‸눈‶)

[starshower1215]

Adventurous Adventures of Levihan in the Bio Notes Margins [pt. 10]

Ft. lemonade, spring, and more sunbath naps in a notebook of my friend's (otherwise known as Special Paper)

[starshower1215]

Dude (gender neutral), I've been keeping up with This Life, After and I saw your art for it on one of the chapters a while ago. I didn't read the credits, but fuck, I really should've read the credits. I'm an idiot sometimes. I was so in love with how you drew Levi in that one piece, where he's seated on the toilet (this one). Your art style is hauntingly beautiful, in that it's so raw in its emotion to me. I don't even know if beauty is the correct word, but it is so artistic, in that I felt like I could write a literary analysis on it. But for art? And art analysis?

Everything, from the color usage, the clash of red and blue, the shadow just behind him, literally just the lines you use, how sharp they are in drawing his body, and the red in his left knee and how it resembles cracks, it clashes but it flows and oh my god. I was so in love. I recognized the art style instantly when I saw this piece. My mind halted and I just thought... I know this style.

In reference to your biography thing, please do not stop drawing disturbing things, as you've put it. Your account and your art reminds me of this quote, which goes something like this: "Art should disturb the comforted and comfort the disturbed." This is your art. Your art is something else, and it may not speak to everyone, but it speaks, and those who understand will just. Ascend, I don't know.

I feel like, to put it dramatically, seeing the one with Levi seated reached within me somehow and touched the damaged pieces of my soul. Not to fix them or heal them, but simply to touch them. To acknowledge them. It wasn't comfort as in "It's okay, it will be okay" but as in, "I understand. It's not okay." Or even, "I don't understand, but I respect it." It's as though it silently gives me space to be upset or pissed off or heartbroken without thinking of how I should be making it better. It just allows me the space and time to close my eyes and listen to myself.

And to see how you pay such attention to the details in this, to keep it as it is and not to soften the pain despite how disturbing it can be to some people, I admire that.

What am I even saying at this point? I don't know. But your art seems like something that can make me feel comforted when I've been numb for weeks, or something that could draw a sigh of relief from me on days when I don't want to wake up. I have no words for it. There's something about it that just speaks my language. No one has ever comforted me in such a way that I truly felt seen, so it was surprising to find a piece of art that did. But I don't know, I just love love love it, so thank you so much for sharing your art.

Some thoughts (and a sketch) about Levi's illnesses and condition in "This Life, After"

TW: eating disorder, anorexia

First of all, biggest thanks and hugs to @cosmicjoke for their amazing fic that have become somewhat personal to me (*´-`)‧₊˚ ⋅❤️‍🩹

So, I love angst and love to draw angst. That's why many of my pics the way they are.

When I have drawn Levi for previous fic illustrations, I was thinking what his hair is a bit messy and not in perfect condition due to his malnourishment. I don't know if he can brush them properly.

Because of his stroke, the right corner of Levi's mouth should be a little too crooked. I didn't pay attention to this little detail before, but I drew this here. (1)

This thing is my headcanon. I think that his eyelid was damaged and affected by the explosion, so Levi can't fully open and close his right blind eye. This changes his facial expression in a somewhat strange way, like the left side of his face is sometimes overwhelmed with raw emotions, and his right is just dead frozen. (2)

In some chapters of this fic, Levi weight is about 84 pounds, which is 38 kg. I found on the net photos of a real man with diagnosed anorexia. Sadly, he had passed away because of his illness. His weight was about 41 kg.

So this time, I drew Levi more accurately to photo references, which is a more unpleasant state to look at. (3)

-

(pls no reposts w/o permission, reblogging is ok)

[starshower1215]

You know what? Yeah. I don't know why at all, yet I do know why, but yes.

To me Hange being into Shadis parallels Levi being into Erwin.

They really match each other's freak

[starshower1215]

Adventurous Adventures of Levihan in the Bio Notes Margins [pt. 9]

Selective doodle dump. It's been so long. Why? Because (horrors!) they have actually been focused on their studies instead of their life's adventures. 0/5 stars, not recommended.

Ft. Moblit, who assists me whenever I draw a diagram, and Hange sleeping in grass in my stead.

[starshower1215]

Somebody confiscate this author's pen, please.

But also, what the heck. It hurts me on a strangely personal level to know that Hange died, but it's gut-wrenching when an author brings them back to life, because I know it isn't true. Perhaps they should not have died, but they did die, and I've come to very unsteady terms with that. So this was painful, but healing?? Simultaneously? Maybe to see someone write Hange's death again, but in a way that made sense to me, I don't know. I rarely find Levihan content that fits my own perspective of Levihan, but oh, this may be one of them. This one is going to feed my soul for the next century or two, so, I'm going to take this and bury it very close to my heart now if you don't mind.