#i have different opinions of frozen now so that's why i have very mixed feelings

[crystallizsch]

Random Thought, please humor me.

SURPRISE: YUUSHA GAINS MAGIC (By absorbing the Magic around her & dealing with Overblots)! Even better, she doesn't need a Mage Stone to control it! What would Yuusha's Unique Magic be & how does she use it? How would Jamil react?

"Magic makes people feel too powerful. Too entitled."

"That is not what magic does. That's just your fear. Fear is what can't be trusted."

HELPPP anon your random thought sent me down into a rabbit hole and i was hyperfixated on this for at least a WEEK 😭

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK BTW I REALLY APPRECIATE IT I HAD SO MUCH FUN WITH THIS 💕💕💕

anyways i also had an agonizing realization that yuusha is somewhat twisted elsa/anna because she has:

braid in front ✅

light-colored hair streak ✅

love interest that used her for his schemes ✅

desire to connect with people bc of years of loneliness (and emotional instability) ✅

unresolved childhood trauma in general ✅

(and probably more idk, these are the ones that stand out to me at the moment)

i haven't thought about frozen for YEARS and somehow it's still haunting me.

i have a lot of mixed feelings about this realization in general but the reason i brought this up is because i ended up basing yuusha's unique magic on frozen (not the ice powers part, but more the emotions aspect since elsa's powers work based on her emotions) while also still having aspects of yuu's own personality on it.

(also I'm sorry in advance i keep on dropping random lore about yuu and jamil's dynamic that only makes sense to myself hndsfhdsj)

I'm your friend. You don't have to hide. SHOW YOURSELF.

"Show Yourself" forces the target to say what's actually on their mind as long as she touches them. Since she's not particularly powerful and skilled with her own unique magic in the beginning, it's limited to skin-to-skin contact, and it only lasts for as long as she's touching her target.

If Yuu trained it more, it doesn't have to be skin-to-skin, just as long as she makes some kind of physical contact with her target; and it could last for as long as she wants even if she is no longer making physical contact. (But the longer she keeps it up, the more blot accumulates.) Yuusha would mostly just use her unique magic to mess with people. It'll only be rare that she chooses to use it for something serious.

To add more onto how Jamil would react to these magic shenanigans: They've both agreed on not using their unique magic on each other. To do so would be a breach of trust. (Of course there would be special exceptions but generally that's their agreement.) And since Jamil is still a scheming prick (affectionate), her "Show Yourself" unique magic would be useful. Plus, Yuu would not be against using her unique magic 99% of the time since she is also aware of the usefulness of her ability. Jamil would insist on helping Yuu out on how to use her magic because there was no way she'd get the hang of it immediately. And he knows she would refuse to ask any other (capable) magician for help.

An alternate idea that I scrapped was "Let It Go" where it's essentially Yuu telling her target to let go of their (usually negative) emotions. But those feelings can't just disappear so Yuu basically absorbs them so now it's her burden to carry instead. I scrapped it because I can't settle on how it works. (But it still had angst potential so I couldn't help but draw a bit about it anyway.)

(extra rambling below about yuusha overblot thoughts if anyone's interested hdlfhjgj)

this is a brief tangent from the original question because i also thought, "hey what if she overblotted, wouldn't that be fun"

i could see the overblot going in either two ways:

yuu accidentally hurts grim (or another friend) with her magic. she’s so distraught thinking that even with magic she can't protect those who are dear to her. and so during the overblot she will not actively try to hurt anyone but instead exhausting her magic reserves in an intentional attempt at self-destruction. (yes i also see the frozen parallels shhhh)

OR

something happens that was simply THE LAST STRAW. now she’s too pissed at everyone that she no longer cares about what happens to her or anyone else, going on a destructive rampage. which can also be considered an intentional attempt at self-destruction.

either way, basically, if she can’t go home she’s just going to take herself out and/or the school instead. the girl is not okay.

(there's actually nothing good she can home to, but she's convinced she'll be happy again if she returns. but she doesn't know that because she can't remember shit about her home. that's a separate lore dump post hgdsjfkld)

also the blot monster behind her would look something like marshmallow (elsa's snow monster from frozen) :)

(i also used to have a similar idea for yuusha. i planned to have her be immune to magic *because* she was absorbing it and she didn't realize. leading to an inevitable overblot) (but i scrapped it because yuusha became my victim for jamil x yuu stuff) (like if i can't have the excuse to have jamil use snake whisper on yuu then what is the point)

[crows-in-the-house]

Disillusioned

Summary : (this statement by @/exodusin) / Mabel finds you in Bills penthause but instead of escaping with her, you show her your true colors. And your new husband, Bill.

pairing: Bill Cipher x gn! evil! reader

tw: none, tell me if i should add

Mabel couldn't find Dipper. For twenty minutes she's been running around Bills piramid only to get the demon further away from her Grunkles. That worked out. Kinda. Now she couldn't find a way back and had him running after her and her brother. And now she lost him! She really hoped he was fine. Hearing a booming sound she turned to another corridor. This one was looking... different?

It was smaller and narrow, as if the walls were about to crush her trying to protect something further. On the end of it, she found grand traingle doors. She really hoped whatever was inside would be harmless enough to let her rest a second. She opened them, coming into a big luxurious room. It looked like some sort of a penthouse with an expensive cauch, a fireplace, chandelier and a-

"Oh! Mabel, hi!" - Wait, what? It was you! Y/N her cool older friend, the one who helped her out in numerous adventures, and the one who vanished, just some time before the start of Weirdmaggedon! She could't belive her own eyes!

"Y/N? What are you doing here! Has Bill kidnapped you and inprisoned? We were so worried!" The girl rushed to hug you. "We need to go! Bill is-"

"Go? Oh Mabes, why would we go anywhere?"

She took a step back. You looked the same as always. Just maybe more elegant? Her tired mind desperately searched for the explanation for the weird feeling she had right now.

"Y/N... what... what have you been doing since the start of Weirdmaggedon?"

"Oh, well, I was sitting here " you gestured around the luxurious room. You didn't seem to be panicked at all. Have you get used to the situation? " I've been quite bored, but overall I'm fine, really! I'm glad you're here to visit!"

"Visit? No! I'm here to defeat Bill! Have you seen what he did to the town? To the people?!"

Despite your face being frozen on a smile something in your eyes changed. You didn't answer immiediately, stepping back to a table nearby, pouring yourself a drink. You talked slowly, as if you were soothing a panicked animal cought in a trap.

"Oh yes. Trully a work of art. It took time to design all of this you know? Do you have a favorite part?"

She felt her stomach drop. She misheard you right? O-or you're just acting! Or under some weird demonic enchantment, you wouldn't say such a thing, right?

You smirked tilting your head. " Well... in my opinion, the top three things would be... hmm, the walking water tower - I know, I know, a boring choice, but it walks very funny and-

"Y/N, listen-" you ignored her, continuing as she wasn't even there "- the second would be bubbles, very creative, colorful and fun, you know? Especially yours, it was so cute it made me a bit jealous! It's a shame I didn't get to visit tho. Yes I know, sorry, don't look at me like that, I will do that next time ok? Now! Drumrolls! the first place goes toooo-"

You looked at her as if wanting her to guess. In response she gave you a mixed look. It seemed like you clearly needed some help, but there was no time to sit around.

"I dont know, what is it?"

" ME " she jumped quickly pointing a grappling hook at the intruder. It was Bill, again in his yellow tamer form, standing awfuly close to you and holing-

" Dipper!"

"Nu-uh Shooting star! You're not playing with that toy anymore!"

At the snap of his fingers her weapon dissapeared. He grabbed her and before Mabel could move she found herself in the same hand where Dipper was trapped in. But you? You just stood there.

"Y/N! Help us!" her brother shauted. You only responded with a piting look in your eyes. Until your attention moved over to the demon getting closer.

"Hey toots! Check this out - a pegasus dropped it off today!" he handed you a card. From where the twins where placed they could see a drawing of the pyramid and a short text which Bill read out laud:

"It's a "I missed you, B.", and yes, it's me, I'm the B, also there was no pegasus, also there was me."

He blinked at you.

You gasped and smiled, your cheeks got darker and your hands tauched where your heart was supposed to be.

"Oh Billy! You're such a romantic!"

Dipper looked at you with disdtain "You just didn't say that."

"Oh but they did! That's my spouse after all!" you both laughed at shocked faces of the children. It was funny how none of the Pines realised they had a traitor among them. Now everything started to make sense. How you claimed to love spending time in the shack. How your face always lingered on Dippers journal. How you never smiled at Stanford but was always calming him down after a fight with his broher. How they all could always count on you, to take care of the kids on their silly adventures.

"How could you!" Mabel felt her eyes getting watery. She really liked you. She trusted you!

You shrugged lightly smiling. " Oh dear, don't be sad, it was always the plan. I'm sorry you have to be entangled in all of this"

"No you're not."

"Ha. True, I'm not. You know me so well kid."

"Why. Why did you do all of this? We were friends-"

"Oh HA HA HA, they already have friends kid! And money, fame, riches, infinite power! And the handsome ol' me! What else would they need?"

"An entire world to rule?" - You kissed Bills eye while handing him a drink "Oh, and I don't want you to take it the wrong way, you know? But i hate you. I thought I could get over it. But I feel sooo tired. And it's just the time to split up! I mean, honestly, you and your grunkles had lot's of chances to get to the right side of history but you decided not to. Now you pay. Tell my thanks to Ford, I would never meet the love of my life, if not for his stupidity." your smile dropped.

"Y/N you can still fix this!"

"As if!" Bills form grew larger while he opened the door "See you sweetcheeks, I will get that equasion in no time! Gotta disassemble some kids molecules!"

You stayed there smiling, waving back at Bill.

That was the last time they saw you.

[fl3shm4id3n]

Bₑᵢₙg ₐ Qᵤₙₐᵣᵢ ₐₙd ᵢₙ ₐ ᵣₑₗₐₜᵢₒₙₛₕᵢₚ wᵢₜₕ ₐₛₜₐᵣᵢₒₙ

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ᴀꜱᴛᴀʀɪᴏɴ x ꜰᴇᴍ! Qᴜɴᴀʀɪ! ᴛᴀᴠ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

Tw: Mentions of intimacy, nudity, confessions, Qunari culture, size difference? (From my research Astarion is 5'9 and reader is 7'0), fluff.

A/N: In my opinion, I think that Astarion has a thing for very tall women. I really liked the hug scene so much.

Masterlist

You had caught Astarion's attention from the get go. He had never seen a Qunari in his life. He had grown curious about you. Not only that, but the fact that you were much taller than most, he was very interested in you.

At first you were cold towards him, and almost everyone around you, but you had your reasons. He later found out that your kind actually came from elves, who were slaves and magisters used blood of dragons to experiment on the slaves and that's how the Qunari were created. So you were decadent of both elves and dragons, that explains the horns.

Not only that, but your kind was then breed to be some kind of weapons. He learned about the Qun and how you were basically a war machine. That explained why you're so cold and don't even take notice of his advances on you, because of the law that your feelings are nothing and shouldn't be felt in any kind of way.

Despite that, he wasn't going to give up that easily. So continued trying to seduce you, to sleep with you and manipulate your feelings. But soon you got caught on what he was doing. You honestly didn't mind sleeping with him, because in the Qun you don't have sex for love, but because it was in your nature to do so.

So you and Astarion came to some kind of agreement, you were basically traveling companions but with benefits. You and him were happy that you were both getting something out of this, but then things got complicated.

Your feelings began to get involved in the mixed, you thought that something was wrong, because you had better control of your feelings, but not this time. You began to feel all kinds of things when being with Astarion, but you weren't the only one.

He too began to develop feelings for you. It was difficult, you both had no idea on what you were doing. You thought about ending things, but at the same time you didn't. You actually wanted to have a real relationship with him.

One night you were in about to sleep, until Astarion pulled you aside to talk with you. He told you about his plan and how he tried to do what he would normally do himself, but he fell for you. That wasn't part of his plan but it happened and he didn't know what to do. "You're...you're incredible... you deserve something real..." That's what he told you. Then you decided to add on what he had told you. "Well, since we are being honest. I do want something real with you." You explained to him, seen the look of surprise in his face. "You... you do?" he asked. "Yes, I mean.... Back in the Qun, we don't really love or have that kind of affection towards one another, were just... companions in which now and then we'd bed. But when we started our thing... My feelings began to get evolved. And all honestly, I don't know what to say or do with them. I have no idea how to be with someone so.... close." You explained to him, it was a confession. Your confession to him.

"Hm, I see, that was exactly what I was going to say, but... you basically took the words out of my mouth. As much as I want to, I just don't know." He replied with a small chuckle. It was quiet for a moment, all you could do was stare at one another for a brief second. It was as if you looked at one another in a new light. You felt all the butterflies in your stomach go wild, and your heart beat was beating at a fast rate. Then you thought of something, you walked up to him and pulled him into a nice warm hug. His head was laying on your chest while your arms were wrapped around his torso. Astarion was frozen on the spot, with his arms spread out a bit, he then brought them around you as well. Hugging you around your waist and leaning closer to your warmth. This was nice.

That's was how your relationship became official. This was a bran new thing to the both of you, so you had to learn a couple things. It was pretty easy to learn how couples would engage.

You didn't mind showing PDA, you liked to hold hands with Astarion in the public, same with kissing and hugging. He preferred for that to be private, but he also doesn't mind showing off his new found love for you.

How could he be mad? He's convinced that you're the love of his life! he wasn't going to loose you easily.

Then one day you've told him something that caught his attention. He learned that to show you were actually serious with someone, you needed to find a dragon's tooth and split it into two, then give it to the other person. So no matter how far you both are, you'll always be together.

He made it his mission to find a dragon tooth. Finally he did, he had found a dragon's tooth, he felt very excited and happy that he was going to show you his love for you, with this gesture.

He manage to get the tooth to be slit in half and make it into some kind of trinket.

One night that you were in the woods, laying on the grass, naked after doing the deed. You were both just cuddling. Astarion was admiring how beautiful you were, with the moonlight hitting your metallic like skin and your muscles. You were just so beautiful, he believed that you were a creation of the gods themselves. He sat up and looked at you. "I'd like to have a talk with you." He said, then you sat up on using your elbows. "What is it?" You asked. "Remember when you told me about the whole dragon tooth thing?" he asked. You nodded in response.

The then reached over his clothes and grabbed out something, when he brought it to you, you saw that it half of a dragon's tooth that was split and tied to a necklace. "Is that what I think it is?" you asked. Astarion only nodded, then brought it up to you and putting it around you neck. It looked perfect around your neck, as if it was meant to be there. "Not often people surprise me, Kadan." You told him, this made Astarion raise a brow by the new pet name. "Kadan?" he asked, then you leaned up, getting close to his face. "Kadan, my heart." You said, lovingly, leaning in for a kiss. "Kadan.." Astarion repeted. As you both kissed each other on the lips.

[sindar-princeling]

ep 4 thoughts

the drama between elrond and galadriel is tiring me. it feels pretty generic to be honest

if time is of such essence.......... why are they walking and not riding horses? like genuinely did I miss something?

I hate so much that no-one is treating galadriel seriously. no-one else in the show gets treated like such an idiot and it's hard not to be angry at this especially considering that at this point in middle earth history she already is described as being among the very mightiest of the eldar

HEY DOL MERRY DOL RING A DOL DILLO

I will say I was sceptical of Bombadil being here at first, and I'm never fully trusting when it comes to beloved characters and rop creators, but hearing his song was <333

and he's got bees :))))

gandalf got got by the old man willow v.0.0.1. 😔😔 (still not sure how I feel about the obvious LOTR fan service-ish easter eggs but. ah well)

oh we're getting the stoors 👀 I'm not sure if that was just my assumption but I thought the three "families" of halflings knew about each other's existence though?

oh he's called old man ironwood

I really like that Bombadil and Goldberry are singing all the time. as they should

but to be fair. I still don't like this as gandalf's backstory, that he came to middle-earth and knew nothing and remembered nothing, going through a very typical initiation plot. I would have preferred to see him straight from under Nienna's care, see what he brought with himself from Valinor

nothing surrounding saruman-bait makes any sense if he genuinely is saruman. stop making things not make sense 🙏🙏

I like that they made the barrow-downs sort of frozen in time, with the barrow-wights always singing the same song, it's a cool effect for this place

ah yes the black member of the party dies first. devil wears prada meme voice groundbreaking

hot take but it'd be much scarier if they didn't actually show the barrow-wights or at least thought of something more creative than making them typical zombies (I'm thinking specifically about the way they moved)

the small romance cliches are KILLING ME. they're KILLING ME

Arondir thank you for being the only person in that trio who thinks

ohhh ents and entwives together, nice. mixed feelings about the "male" and "female" designs (why does there ALWAYS need to be a difference in design even for definitely non-human creatures. i mean specifically the flowers BUT it's super nice that the faces look similar!) but it's cool to see them

"we have tended this forest when the only sound here was the light upon the moss and the breathing of the leaves" I love this line!!!!! the tolkienness of this made me smile so much

WHY are they flirting again! stop that

sadly this episode didn't even contain the most interesting subplot namely Celebrimbor and Annatar

you're really starting to feel that this show has too many characters and doesn't know what to do about that. we have. a FUCKTON of subplots and right now they're still too far apart from each other for this show to feel like a whole. there are two subplots in numenor, there's galadriel and elrond, there's celebrimbor and annatar, the overarching plot of the rings, there's arondir and co, there's gandalf and bombadil, there's the halflings, there's the dwarves with two pretty separate subplots as well......... you have to know how to juggle such a massive amount of plots and in my opinion, rop doesn't. I think an absolute masterclass in big casts is seasons 1-2 or even 1-3 of lost, and rop definitely could use some of their approach

rop season 2 episode 1 thoughts

at this point you gotta admire the creators' dedication to absolutely bizarre choices when it comes to sauron. 15 minutes in I'm already going what the hell and fuck. like what was that supposed to be. genuinely

Charlie Vickers has grown on me; he still doesn't have much to work with in terms of the script or the plot though

this whole introductory sequence was there....... I'm not sure why? we could already extrapolate all that, and I mean All That, from the previous season

it still pisses me off that Galadriel is The Main Idiot and Everything Is Her Fault

also, I am reminded by all the plot and worldbuilding choices that annoyed me before. why is mithril important for the elves' survival again?

CIRDAN HIII CIRDAN <33333

I'm so glad they kept his beard

believe me, I AM trying to find things to like about this show, but the plot choices feel like so much unnecessary drama. Galadriel and Elrond fighting feels.... tiring. I feel like all Galadriel does is fight with people

oh are we getting Rhun?? 👀 Nice

this is a personal opinion but the elven women have wayyy too strong and modern-looking make-up

it's a shame galadriel gets the ring because she's power-hungry and reckless, not because she's one of the mightiest elves in middle-earth. she SHOULD be power-hungry, don't get me wrong, it's one of her best traits, but this way you don't put any sort of accent of how very important and mighty she is

sauron having a Badass Walk into mordor at the end of s1, which was a really cool shot to end a season on, only to then get himself in chains and then turn away and come back to Celebrimbor has got to be the most '???' moments of this show. they really have no idea what to do with him

overall I'd say my main gripe, apart from the plot solutions, is that this show doesn't have much to say. it's showy, it's lore-heavy (even if I don't like the lore they came up with), but so far it still has little heart and thought behind it. to me at least it doesn't feel like it really wants to tell you something

[internetgremlin-writes]

I don't know if it's too specific but could you write something featuring a female driver x gasly with no.10? Love your writing! <3

10 - "I've seen the way you look at me when you think I don't notice,"

liked by PierreGasly

Warnings: mentions of fuckboy!pierre (NSFW wasn't explicitly requested so gonna keep this one SFW)

Prompt night info and list to request your own ficlet/HCs here!

Pierre Gasly was a fuckboy.

This was not an opinion, it was a fact. You knew this, everyone knew this, but why there was something in your tapped little brain that made you forget that fact every time he walked into a room, you had no idea.

You'd seen the pictures, you weren't stupid. A different model, or actress, or beautiful influencer on his arm at the end of every party. It'd gone so far that you'd been involved in a couple of media cover-ups for him.

Pierre Gasly was breaking your heart, and you didn't think he so much as knew your name.

Every time you were in the same room as him you could barely breathe. Those blue eyes were so dangerously piercing, his hair just perfectly tousled, that smile. He looked at you like you were the entire universe, it took your breath away. You were supposed to be an apprentice engineer for Alpha Tauri, but whenever you had to ask him something you found yourself tripping over your words and getting simple things wrong. And then the next morning you'd see the photo of the model he was escorting back to his hotel room ad you couldn't help but feel crushed even though you weren't even in the same stratosphere as him. And then you'd see him the next weekend, flirting with every woman in a ten-metre radius.

You had no idea how you found yourself at the afterparty for the latest race. Alpha Tauri had an incredible performance with both of their drivers in the points and a one-two win for their sister team Red Bull. There were invites galore, and as you were coming up to a graduation in your apprenticeship you'd found your boss pressing a ticket into your hand and telling you to go, have fun kid.

So you were having fun; or trying to at least. You weren't sure how nice to dress, having not been clubbing since your early university days. Back then the dress code was jeans and a stupidly small and probably glittery top. You'd decided black jeans were safe and avoided any types of glitter. Now, clutching onto your drink as if it held your lifeforce, you realised you were entirely out of your depth.

This was not a dingy university club, full of cheap booze and students too drunk to care about anything other than bumming a cigarette and who they were taking home. This was the club of the global sports superstars and associates. Jeans, you quickly learnt, were not the choice. It was all girls taller than you with very long, slim, tan legs wearing tiny dresses that seemed to show off legs, bum, back and boobs all at once. Drinks were ordered by the bottle and complicated cocktails were handed out like they were sweets.

You were standing on a balcony, bopping along to songs you didn't recognise, not daring to mix yourself with the collection of people on the dance floor. A tap on your shoulder made you turn, and you were half preparing an excuse to your boss as to why you needed to go home early when alarmingly familiar eyes were boring into your own and a thick French accent had you held dead still.

"Hello," you gulped, your palms immediately starting to sweat.

"Hi, Pierre," your voice was awkwardly high pitched as you shouted over the music. Pierre was smarter, stepping in closer so his lips just grazed the sensitive skin of your ear. You shuddered, but you were frozen in your place, your heart thumping in your ears as you realised that for better or worse, you were his prey tonight.

"Would you like to dance?" You nodded because no way were you passing this up, even if you had to hide it from every single person on the planet and face seeing him after with other girls. You started to walk to the dancefloor but he caught your elbow, spinning you effectively into his chest which was only covered by a white shirt that was stretched thin against his hard abs. He was so warm. And suddenly very real under your fingers.

He wrapped an arm around your lower waist and held the other like it was a ballroom. You couldn't breathe as he set his own rhythm, slow and gentle and the complete opposite to the thumping bass coming through the floors. He was easy to sway with, you getting lost in those eyes so easily. You didn't even notice his hand coming up to grip your chin softly until it was too late.

And the next thing you knew you were kissing Pierre Gasly.

And your whole body was shutting down because god damn if that wasn't the best kiss of your life. When he pulled away he stayed close, his nose bumping yours. You couldn't even be grossed out by the fact that you were sharing breath.

"So, do you want to come back to my hotel room or me to you?" You spoke without really thinking, self-preservation really. If he wanted a fuck then fine, you were game, but you didn't want any pretend romantics about it. Nothing to make it hurt more than it already would.

Pierre's laugh made you pull back, looking at him puzzled as he shook his head.

"No no, amor. No hotel rooms tonight,"

"Oh, right," to say you were deflated would have been an understatement.

"No," he said again, decisively as if that would make it any easier for you. It didn't. "I've seen the way you look at me when you think I don't notice," damn. So you'd blown it for yourself before it had even begun, just another silly little fangirl to him.

"Sorry," you couldn't look at him, but he touched your cheek again, silently begging for eye contact.

"I want to take you on a date, please?"

You were so shocked you didn't know what to say, and you were grateful when he pressed a napkin with his number scribbled onto it into your hand before he left you with a wink, rejoining the crowd.

The party got a lot better after that.

Pierre went back to his hotel room alone that night.

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

“Are you here all night?” Jason asked, “or are you planning to, you know, be a human? I think those go home sometimes.”

High above Jason’s head, a swarm of bats entered the cave, winding among the stalactites and screeching a kind of garbled response.

Dick, however, said nothing. He remained bent over one of the long tables on the cavern floor, examining a map Jason could barely see from his own seat a short distance behind, ignoring Jason and his sarcasm both. 

Jason didn’t enjoy being ignored. 

Fine. 

“I have some tasks you could take over,” he suggested, in his least helpful voice, “if you’re in the market for an excuse to keep working. I know you make those sometimes.”

Nothing.

“I have some weapons to clean, if you want to do that. You could type out all my old cases, if that works, because I only have the originals and those are hard to work with.”

Still nothing.

“Take out the trash?” Jason tried. “Wash the dishes? I put a load of laundry in a couple of hours ago, but there’s a wool jacket in the mix, so be careful what you put in the dryer.”

Dick didn’t move. Jason was enjoying himself now.

“Write a sonnet? Map the White House?” Jason held up a finger Dick couldn’t see, like he had just remembered something interesting. “I think there’s a library on 8th that exploded a few days back, so if you could just grab the rubble from the street and rebuild it by hand, that would be great.”

No reaction. 

“Whatever,” said Jason, “I’m out of here. Get some sleep maybe? I know the whole work-to-outrun-despair routine is your ‘thing,’ or whatever, but it never looks good on you. Have you considered—”

Jason cut himself off as Dick finally turned away from the table. Looking him in the eye, Jason felt suddenly and inexplicably afraid. 

“Go on,” said Dick, quietly.

“I’m just… saying that it might make things worse, to shut off and—” Jason pointed at the mound of paper on the table, “obsess over this stuff instead.”

“You think?” Dick asked. “No shit.”

Jason blinked. “Wait, are you—”

“Did you think it never occurred to me,” said Dick, “that I might be spinning out?”

“I didn’t say you were spinning out.”

“Were you thinking that maybe,” Dick leaned back against the table edge and crossed his arms, carefully casual in a way Jason didn’t like, “hey maybe I, Dick Grayson, haven’t noticed how it feels to be forty-nine hours into a case and puking in the bathroom sink?”

“I didn’t—”

“Maybe I just haven’t realized why my vision blurs out and I can’t think straight, and it’s weird how this happens—” Dick held up a hand, and Jason could see his fingers shaking, “—if I keep going for too long.”

“I didn’t mean to—”

“Wow, yeah, now that you mention it, this might be,” Dick said, flatly, “bad.” 

Jason glanced down at his boots to break the eye contact. “I’ll back off,” he said. “I’ll go.”

“It might be bad that I can’t sleep until I’m falling-over exhausted. Maybe I shouldn’t be taking all these cases—”

“I said I’ll back off.”

“Or writing all these notes or spending weeks on research, more than that on training—”

“Listen—”

“I probably shouldn’t be leading all these teams, huh?” Dick smiled in a way that reminded Jason of what he should have remembered before he opened his own mouth: that Dick could be very, very dangerous. “Can I get your opinion on that?”

“I’ll—”

“I KNOW!”

Jason stumbled back a step in shock. 

“I KNOW that I’m working too hard!” Dick yelled, “And I KNOW why I do it!”

“Okay!” Jason backed away again. “Okay, I get it!”

“I work so I don’t have to think! I’d rather drop dead doing this shit than stop for the millisecond it would take to feel again! Are you happy now?”

“Calm down, okay? I didn’t—”

“I don’t want to feel,” said Dick, gesturing around him, “so I’m going to stand right here over and over again.”

“Fine!”

“And I’m going to keep shutting down because it goddamn WORKS!”

Dick turned away again, bending over the table like he hadn’t said anything at all. Jason stood frozen for a moment, staring. 

“Does it?” he asked into the silence.

“No.”

“I didn’t think so.”

“Do you have something better?”

Jason looked down at his own hands and saw that they were shaking too.

“No,” he said.

“Then fuck off.”

Jason turned to leave, but Dick, it appeared, wasn’t ready to let it go. 

“I’m alive,” he said. “I’m standing and walking and doing all the things that matter.”

“Yeah.” 

“I’ve had enough of— enough of asking for help and getting—” Dick jerked an arm above his head, still turned away. “I don’t want to hear that the way I live is self-destructive. I already know. That’s why I’m here, that’s what I’m saying, that’s why I’m trying.” 

“Yeah.”

“Just… show me something better, or let me self-destruct.”

Jason fumbled awkwardly for something to say. “I’m sure— I don’t know who you’ve been talking to, but whoever that is— I’m sure they’re… trying to help.”

“You weren’t,” said Dick.

“No, I wasn’t.”

“You were trying to land a cheap shot,” said Dick, “and feel like you’re better than me.”

Yes, that was true. Jason wasn’t sorry, exactly, but he regretted it, and those were different things.  

“I guess that makes me an asshole.”

“And a hypocrite.” Dick turned around again and leaned back in the same way, quiet, in control. “You never stop either… not since the pit anyway.”

“Don’t.”

“I mean it’s different, obviously, because I don’t think you’re trying to hide it. Me, I don’t want cracks to show. I don’t want all this grief and anger and— you said despair, right?”

“Stop.”

“I don’t want the despair to show because I want to look whole, but you—”

“You’ve made your point.”

“You want to look like a week-old corpse rotting on the concrete, and may I say?” Dick smiled. “Excellent performance. You look exactly like that.”

Jason didn’t say anything.

“It’s a world of difference,” Dick continued, “because I— I’m pushing through pain… and you’re pushing to feel it.”

For a moment, they stared at each other, and Jason found that it was difficult to breathe. 

“I could yell back for that,” he said. It came out softly, more soft than he meant, as Jason shoved away something very close to shame.

“Do it.”

“No. I think it’s funny when people call me the angry one.” Jason looked down at his shaking hands again. 

“I am angry,” he conceded, “but you’re just as bad as I am.”

“Thematic,” Dick snapped. “Get out.” 

“No. You opened this book, so we’re going to read it. You’re right.”

“Leave.”

“You’re right, I do exactly what you just said I do. Sometimes I don’t sleep for days, and it’s not because I can’t.”

Well, that might not be fully true, so Jason stopped to backtrack.

“I mean,” he corrected, “I don’t know if I could sleep, if I really tried, but that’s the point I’m making. I don’t try. I don’t want to sleep.”

“I said leave.”

“It’ll be four in the morning and I’m slumped sideways on my couch watching surveillance footage I don’t need to watch, because I know when I finally drag myself to the bathroom mirror, I’ll look like hell—”

“Get out!”

“—and I want to! I feel like hell, I feel like goddamn Brutus in the Devil’s jaws, and I want to look like it. If I look like death, that means my pain is real.”

“Get out or regret it.”

“Oh, I know it’s self-destructive,” said Jason, smiling his best unnerving smile. “How could I miss it when I’m blacking out in stairwells and picking fights on purpose, just to get kicked around?”

That particular sentence, it appeared, caught Dick’s attention, because he stayed quiet this time, glaring from across the room.

Well then, Jason decided, it was time to push further. 

“Let’s get personal, shall we? Why do I live in this fucking city to see you or him or whoever else is living in the capes this week? I’m not shooting for reconciliation!”

“Well?”

“I’m going to stay here and cause problems until every single one of you hates me enough to shove me away. How’s my performance, by the way? Is it working? I’d love to get your opinion.”

Dick made a face that Jason couldn’t interpret, so Jason chose to press on. 

“It’ll hurt when I pull that off because I do actually care about you, but you know what? I’ll like that. Maybe someday all of this will kill me, and I’ll kind of like that too.” 

Jason paused a beat to let Dick interject, but Dick didn’t. 

“Your turn,” said Jason pleasantly. “Thoughts?”

Nothing.

“I like the aesthetic of self-destruction,” said Jason. “I’m going to look in the mirror tomorrow and see dark circles and scars, and it’s going to feel like being myself in a way that nothing else does.”

In that moment, watching Dick glare, Jason felt very tired— not in a way that sleep could solve, and not in a way that anyone could fix. No matter what Jason did, no matter what he tried, he could always feel himself sinking. He was empty and heavy at the same time, somehow trapped in place, unable to do anything except lie in his own blood.

A rotting corpse indeed.

“I’m not judging you,” said Jason. “I don’t have the space for that. I won’t tell you to just… change. I’m sick of hearing that too, hearing that I don’t have to do this to myself, that I am doing this to myself.”

Dick nodded. Jason wasn’t sure at what, but it felt like permission to keep going, so he did.

“I know I’m holding on to something I shouldn’t,” Jason admitted, even though it hurt to say out loud. “I know, but I can’t let go when there’s nothing else to take. I don’t have anything profound to say. I don’t… know what else there is.”

That was it. That was all Jason had, so he shrugged and stared down at the floor, waiting.

“I think if I stop working I’ll fall apart,” said Dick, finally, “and this time I won’t be able to scrape myself together.”

“Yeah.”

“I think fine, so I don’t have to keep going. I don’t have to shove away the dark and force myself through, but what would happen if I didn’t?”

“I don’t know.”

“I would be a shivering, hollow shape on my floor, maybe forever. I don’t know what I want to be, but I can’t be… I can’t be only that.” 

Jason understood.

“It’s hard,” said Dick. “I always hear— and say, I say this to other people— that things can be okay. I guess it’s true, but does it matter?” 

“What do you mean?”

“Unless I leave the cave right now and never come back, this is my life. I have an apartment and a fucked-up family—”

“Thanks.”

“—and I spend every night jumping through smog and the ghosts of everything I’ve ever done.”

“Saving people,” Jason noted.

“Win some,” said Dick, “lose some. How many times have you watched a person die?”

“A few.”

“A few.” Dick shook his head. “I know too much, but I have too much to leave behind.”

“I have a guy who makes passports on demand, if you change your mind,” said Jason. “He’s amazing.”

“Thanks.”

“Prints while you wait.”

Dick shot Jason a flat kind of look.

“What?” Jason asked. “It would simplify my plans.”

Dick half-smiled at that, and Jason got the sense that they were done yelling, maybe, for awhile.

“I feel trapped, and I don’t know how to fix myself,” said Dick, “while I’m still… here.” 

“Yeah.”

“I’m just trying to stay alive.”

“I know. Me too.”

“It isn’t getting any easier.” 

Jason thought about that for awhile. It would be nice to have an answer— something simple to say, some match to light in their common ground— but Jason couldn’t find one, so he shrugged again and hoped that understanding would be enough. 

It had to be something, didn’t it?

It was the best he could do. There were times, Jason figured, to talk about breathing exercises and the mess of self-help books piled on his dresser, but he knew this wasn’t one of them. They could call it catharsis, he decided, and leave it at that. 

“We could say it’s Bruce’s fault?” Jason suggested, since he was out of other ideas. “I like blaming Bruce for the shit I do.”

“You do?”

“Fuck off.”

Dick smiled fully at that one. “I’m not above it either.”

“Great,” said Jason. “Can I leave a note saying we blame him? No context at all, maybe on a single post-it? I think it would be really funny.”

“Sure.”

“I’ll bounce after that, for real this time.” Jason spun a finger in a circle a few times, pointing around the cave. “I don’t want to be here anymore.”

“Yeah.” Dick tapped a finger against the table a few times, like he was thinking. After a moment, he pulled a bag from the edge and started packing up his things. 

“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, me too.”

Fin.

---

art by @doc-squash​

[herlaqueen]

I was listening to Nowhere Fast again and thinking about what a pity it’s not a Jim Steinman song [ETA: I confused it with Bad Attitude, Nowhere Fast is by Jim Steinman!], because I think it might be the key to make the Bat Out Of Hell obsession with giving Falco a redemption arc palatable.

First thing first, I do NOT like that in more recent stagings removed In the Land of the Pig, the Butcher is King and Tink doesn't die to make Falco less villainous. The musical lost a very powerful second act opening and diluted the main villain to keep a frankly lukewarm redemption arc. I’d rather have the musical recognize that some hurts can’t be easily forgiven and have Falco be banished or something like that, and thus not being present for the final bit.

But, since the people running the show clearly have different opinions than me, I think the story would benefit from giving Falco more depth and humanity.

In the current version we’re not given an exact time frame of how long The Lost have been frozen, but it’s not impossible for them to be around Falco and Sloane’s age, maybe a bit younger but I can buy them being frozen for 15 or so years. And we know that Falco had that leather jacket with the nice skull on the back (in the current version it was Sloane's), and Sloane clearly liked bad guys with a nice car... What if they were friends/rivals/acquaintances with The Lost then?

I think it would add a nice layer to why Falco hates them so much (they’re wasted youths, yes, but also a reminder of how time didn’t stop for him and now he’s in his mid thirties and were did his youth go?) and why Sloane seems to know more than she lets on about Strat.

And in this frame, I think using a number like Nowhere Fast would be lovely. You could have some of the Lost mention how Falco used to be the opposite of what he is now, and frame Nowhere fast as them talking about younger Falco and Sloane (which could be show on stage by some of the Lost doing somewhat exagerrated and satyrical acting, or by Falco and Sloane's actors wearing appropriate clothing).

Have it followed up by how the Lost are confused by Falco changing and have it be a mix of how growing up and getting adult responsabilities was the start, but then he corrupted his need to give his family safety into an obsession for control over everything around him, and have it parallel the Lost's youthful aimless freedom and lack of future planning and thoughts, and I think it could be a chance to give depth to several characters (Falco, Sloane, Strat, Zahara).

Plus, with the correct timing you could have Falco's actor just come back in the final number wearing his old clothes and be more poignant and a symbol of him embracing his "wild" side and feel less forced than it is now.

[asexualone]

(pls take the time to read)

Signs I should have known I was aro: Disney edition

I think this topic has been stressed a lot already. But here is my take, anyway.

Of course, romantic love had been, is and will always be one of the main themes in kids' movies. Why, I can never fully understand. I'll explain below how I like other themes more.

Some time ago, I did a post on the kiss/hug scenes in Rapunzel which depicts how much more I value acts of showing love that don't include kissing.

Not only those two. I have a history of hating Disney on-screen smooches. As a kid, I thought, "Well, maybe, I don't like seeing these characters kiss because it's a grownup thing."

Could you blame me? When my parents were in the room and a kissing scene appeared on the screen, they changed the channel. So my toddler brain concluded that the reason I didn't like watching kisses was because I wasn't of age to like it. Or something.

At the time, I had no idea that I was hand-picking my favorite movies by the level of romance they had in. Or lack thereof. And I was a very judgemental kid. Let's go through my original thoughts on some Disney classics.

Snow White — No. Just no. She's a child, fourteen. Marrying an older guy she doesn't even know. After he kisses her corpse. NO.

Cinderella — The age difference is a little better, I guess. So is the age of consent. But they only talked one (1) night and he relied on that slipper to find her instead of asking to meet all women and see for himself. Fairytale logic I guess. I didn't like how she called it love immediately and kissed the prince at least once that same night. Or how they got married immediately.

The Sleeping Beauty — Must I even explain? Aurora didn't even know Philip that much, had only met him once (if you exclude the "dreams"). And yet, he's her true love, the only one who can revive her corpse. Ridiculous. And yes, kissing a comatose body, ew. Also, the arranged marriage trope pisses me off, royalty or not. Aurora was engaged as a newborn baby, come on.

Mulan — Cinematic gold. I didn't know it back then, but the fact that romantic love is such a pushed-aside aspect in this movie gives me life. The songs give me life. Especially when the trio dresses as concubines and "Be a Man" plays in the background. An absolute gem, lmao. The sequel however ruined the story somewhat for me, too much lovey-dovey stuff. I like Mulan more when she's fighting than when she's acting all sappy towards Shang, sorry not sorry.

Peter Pan — Loved it, still do. But I did dislike the mermaids, the image of fangirls who are petty towards other girls. And Pan's brief "relationship" with Tiger Lily was nauseating to me. I couldn't explain it but when Pan blushed at her nose-nuzzling thing, I always pulled a face.

The Princess and the Frog — In my opinion, (remember, always my opinion): Tiana, this hard-working girl who doesn't belong to anyone, was lost to love. Well, not lost. But falling for Naveen in the course of three days? Unrealistic and kinda unnecessary. Sweet, but still. I adored the "relationship" between Ray and Evangeline more. Either way, it's a movie that I enjoyed when love wasn't that prominent on screen.

Aladdin — I love this movie because of the Genie. The relationship between Jasmine and Aladdin is meh. She forgot his face and didn't recognize him until later. Their coming together is a lot like that trope "first guy who treats her right sets the expectations and wins her heart". Usually that's a thing, not only in Disney movies but media in general. The female lead settles for the first guy that treats her right because the bar is that low. A good movie, all in all. Love how Jasmine stands up for herself at least. Not a lot of princesses fight against the objectification of women.

Pocahontas — I used to hate this movie. I didn't sit right with me: the racism in it, the manipulation, the murders. And the romance, yes. Pocahontas fell for the strange man who tickled her curiosity in the span of two days. I also hated how her father just sold her to marry Kocoum like that. I know it's tradition. Heck, that's a tradition that still goes on in my country. Maybe that's why I didn't like seeing it on screen. And Pocahontas doesn't even end up with John Smith. The second movie definitely ruined the story. So yes, she's the first princess who fell for a man in three days, TWICE. Needless to say, only the songs kept me from blacklisting the movie entirely.

The Little Mermaid — I actually loved this movie for some reason. I can't explain why, maybe it was my obsession with mermaids. Yeah, that was probably it. But I was pissed when Ariel exchanged her tail for legs. Not to mention human periods and overall, all the bad in the world, for a man she'd only seen once. As I grew up I realized just how f*cked up that story was: Ariel giving her entire lifestyle, family and identity up for a guy she hadn't even spoken to. I don't know why I loved that movie, alright? Hell I still do a little. The sequel too. Say what you want.

Brave — (I know this is technically Pixar, shut up) Much like the paradox with Ariel, I didn't like this movie. I can't explain it. Maybe because Merida wasn't the typical Disney princess I had been used to seeing. Now though, I ADORE that story. No, it's not because Merida knows archery... Okay, yes maybe a little. I love the aro-arrow word play, alright? Anyway, the way Merida fights against being shipped to a husband like the "tradition" I aforementioned asks her to, has always had my heart, even when I didn't like the movie. The focus on the mother-daughter relationship is special, I love it. Stellar movie.

Tangled — One of my favorite Disney movies, my favorite princess. But her relationship with Eugene.... Well. Again, three days. That's all it takes to fall in love. Classic of Disney. Not only that, but Eugene is literally the first man person Raps has ever since, besides Gothel. The bar is nonexistent for her, she would have fallen for anyone. He lied to her and she still... Well, I won't stress that any longer. Their relationship in the end is sweet, one of the few cases where we are actually shown that they would risk their lives to save each other. Respect that. Mostly, I love her magical hair and Pascal. And the guys of Snuggly Duckling.

Moana — EPIC MOVIE. The story, the culture, the character growth, the plot twist, everything! Loved it at first sight, at second and forever. Even more when I became aware that there's no romance in it. I don't think I need to say more.

Frozen — My opinions on this movie have always been changing, accompanied by mixed feelings. So the relationship between sisters was cute, but Lilo and Stitch made that more realistic. Anna's relationship with Hans, ugh. I think that for a long time I used the fact that he was the antagonist to justify my absolute hate for the way Anna "fell" for him in one evening. Again, Anna sweetheart. This is the first man you've met. The bar is nonexistent for you too. God bless Elsa for forbidding her to marry Hans. And while it's cute to think Elsa as a lesbian, she has aromantic vibes. Sorry not sorry, but she's also a God by the end of Frozen 2. Gods are beyond attraction, I said what I said.

Raya and the Last Dragon — Loved it, still do. Say what you will about "dragon Elsa". Sisu is her own character, and I adore her. And yes, I love the lack of romance in the movie. Make no mistake, I shipped Raya and Namaari from the first moment they smiled at each other. I swear on my name that I paused the movie and screamed, GAYYYY, at the top of my lungs. Luckily, I was home alone. If only Disney directors would do the right fcking thing and give me a queer main couple!! I swear I wouldn't mind the lovey-dovey romance one bit.

Of course, I've left dozens of movies out. This post is already way longer than I wanted it to be. But I think that was enough to make a point.

While I'm not romance-repulsed, seeing animated kisses (and unnecessary relationships) on screen makes me uncomfortable. As a child and as a grownup. It just doesn't sit right with me. Not to mention all these princesses who identify with their princes and specifically their relationships with said princes when they're perfect on their. Wreck it Ralph 2 made them a favor, I think, by making them work together and showing their strengths. Another movie I love.

Friendship just makes an overall better theme to apply to kids shows, my opinion. Family, work, self-discovery, mental health, happiness. These are all better themes to portray in media dedicated for children. Which is, again, my opinion.

And yes, Disney has been getting better. They've fixed the age difference and the age of consent. The female characters no longer depend on the male ones, at least not as often. They understand the assignment, alright. There are still many questionable things about Disney's reputation though, things we all choose to overlook for the sake of the good movies. But who knows? They might change. Hopefully soon we'll also have an obviously queer couple in a movie. Hope dies last.

[peralta-guaranteed]

good trope or bad trope: one of them waking up from surgery or something and being so high on drugs they forget they're together and the other has to explain it

good trope GOOD trope good trope! and this was probably just a question but I couldn't resiiiist

-*-

It's kind of sad to think about the fact that Amy is already used to monitors beeping in a cold hospital room around her squad and, mostly, around her partner. They've been in so many horrible situations, so many little moments where she's had to worry about them, that today she's almost glad she doesn't have to. Jake's surgery had neither been scheduled nor planned, and there had been a whole lot of panic leading up to it when she drove him to the hospital wincing in pain, his arms clutched around his lower stomach, but the doctor's told her they came in early enough for it to be a more routine procedure rather than an emergency. And now his appendix was out, and he would be hurting and healing for a while, but the trepidation about that is nowhere close to the fear she's used to feeling while sitting in these uncomfortable hospital chairs, wondering when the person in the bed next to her would wake up. The last time she'd been in this position, Rosa was hooked up to so many many more machines, and she looked like a bad wax figurine of herself, all pale and stiff.

Jake looks almost fine, no breathing mask or tube down his nostril, just a little beeping heart monitor and some infusion in his arm. The nurse told her he'd be waking up soon when she lead her into the room, and that they could probably go home later that evening already.

(She also told her that he'd been one of the more amusing patients she'd had under anesthesia, which was not a surprise, and that he'd been asking for her every time he groggily opened his eyes for just a few seconds, which was not a surprise either.)

He blinks awake slowly, eyes darting around the room as if to figure out where he is, before they land on her and stay stuck, his forehead creasing in confusion for a second before he grins.

"Heyyyy, it'sa Santiago!" He tries in a croaky voice, and Amy reaches for the cup of ice water the nurse brought in to hand it to him. He's shaky, but he can handle it alone, she notes almost subconsciously - she remembers enough moments where she's had to feed him ice chips instead because he could barely move his arms.

"Hey." She answers with a softer smile as he gulps down almost the whole cup - considering he still hates water, he must really need it. "How are you feeling?"

"Oh, just splendid, thanks." He quips before trying to sit up more and wincing, the stitches in his stomach upset. "What the hell did I do this time to end up here?"

"What?"

"I mean, I don't remember a chase or a fight, but it sure feels like I took a knife to the stomach or something?"

They look at each other, equally confused, before Amy shakes her head.

"You dont remember-? It wasn't a work thing, Jake, your appendix almost burst."

"Ah dang. That's not even a cool story for a new scar." He sighs as he leans back a bit against the pillow and carefully palms the space where she knows the skin is going to be light pink and rougher than usual from now on. "Sorry they made you wait around for my stupid ass to recover, or is the squad at least taking turns?"

She stares at him, her mind racing, and it seems to make him nervous. He's still trying to go for that usual grin, but his eyes are darting around, sticking to parts of her without looking directly into her eyes, and she can see he's getting fidgety. Mixing that with what he's saying, and the way he's saying it - his voice is different, somehow, more - guarded, or distant, it's hard to explain, but she only remembers it from a long time ago - makes her suddenly realise.

He's been given some very heavy duty painkillers and narcotics, she hears the nurse's voice in her head, so he might be disoriented or confused for quite a while. It shows differently in lots of people, so I can't tell you what to expect, but he'll be back to normal once it passes through his system.

He doesn't remember, she thinks. He doesn't remember... a lot.

"Jake." She gets his nervous attention back, trying to school her voice into something calm and friendly, instead of the equally nervous and somewhat excited giggle she wants to let out so bad. "I think you're still working through your medication. Can you tell me what the last thing you remember is?"

He leans back again and stares at the ceiling, and it's hard to read the emotions on his face.

"Just... regular work stuff, to be honest. Nothing big."

"Okay, then what is the last big thing you can think of?"

"Uh." He swallows, and Amy refills his water cup, but he doesn't take it. "I, uh, I remember Hoytsman kidnapping me." He laughs a short laugh, obviously trying to make it seem lighter than it ever was, but that's not the only reason Amy feels her heart jump.

His mind is stuck before their relationship. After Sofia left him. He thinks he's woken up after being injured at work, and there's no one there waiting for him except for a work partner who he's been trying so hard to pretend he doesn't like anymore, and for whom he obviously has to play the "I'm okay!" role still.

"Wow. Uh. Okay." She babbles, trying to find a way to be gentle and not confuse him any more. "Then, uh, I guess, well, your medication should pass soon, I think, and you'll remember more, so don't worry-"

"Amy." He's staring at her when she finally looks up, and notes her shorter hair, her far more comfortable outfit than the pantsuits he sees her wear at work, and even while high on drugs it's not that hard for him to put two and two together. "How much am I missing?"

"Quite a lot." She finally admits, but drops her look down into her lap, to her folded hands, and she unconsciously covers her wedding ring before he can see it. "A few years."

"Years?!" He squeals while leaning forward and then groans, because that has definitely upset his wound.

"It's okay, the nurse said it would happen." She quickly tries to calm him. "It's - you'll remember when the anaesthetic passes properly, so it's alright."

"Alright, yeah." He nods and finally settles into the pillow again, as silence envelops them for a few awkward moments, in which Amy's mind races through all the things he's missing right now.

"Okay." He interrupts her sad little mental storybook of their life's drama. "Let's play a game until then, huh? I call it 'Shock&Tell'."

"Jake-"

"It's easy, you'll get the rules. Basically, you tell me stuff I don't know right now and see how shocked you can get me."

"That's not funny-"

"Oh, I think it is. I know how much you like to have me speechless." He grins at her, and she can't resist.

"Title of your sex tape."

"Amy Santiago!" He gasps with a laugh, but there's hesitation in his eyes, and she remembers they weren't exactly at a flirting stage back where he is right now. "For that alone, you have to play a round with me."

"I can't think of anything shocking at the moment." She lies, and he sees right through her.

"Okay, then tell me the worst thing you think happens to me in those years, and the best. From your opinion."

She sighs and stares at her hands again, but she knows he won't let up - he's not gotten any less obnoxious from back then to now.

"Alright. The worst thing. You went to jail." She states, matter of fact, and watches his eyes practically bulge out of his head.

"Holy shi- WhAT?! Like, for a crime? Or-what-did I-what?!"

"You were innocent!" She says as fast as she can, and watches him deflate only a little.

"I sure fucking hope so! But still, what- how- why- ?"

"You and Rosa were framed by a criminally corrupt cop. It took us a few months to get evidence against her and have her sentenced instead."

"A few months." He whispers and stares at his hands, scrunching up the blanket he's wrapped in.

"You weren't alone." Her voice is soft and calm now, seeing him in such a state of unrest, and it takes all she has not to pull him into a hug - it'd probably both confuse and actually hurt him right now, given the stitches. "I mean, you were alone in prison, but we- the squad - we were all fighting for you and Rosa, and Charles and I visited you, and we- I- we never gave up on you."

He smiles, soft and a little broken, but he nods, as if that was something he'd always expect.

"Okay, now the best thing. Because lemme tell you, Santiago, you have to make up for that suckerpunch."

She smiles much wider now, almost grins as she leans forward to finally reach for his hand, entangling their fingers (to which he goes along almost automatically) and feeling her rings clink against the one on his. Jake's eyes are frozen on her hand in his, where he can see a shiny wedding band over what is clearly his Nana's old engagement ring, and he's barely breathing.

"Oh my god." He whispers a moment later, squeezing her hand almost painfully tight as he looks at her again, and she's still smiling.

"We're married?"

"Yeah."

"To- to each other?"

"Yeah, you doofus." She laughs.

"I'm- I'm your husband." He whispers again. "Even thought I went to jail?!"

"Well", she still laughs softly at the absolute shine in his eyes, the awe on his face. "You proposed after that. But I would've married you before, anyway." I would've married you before a lot of things you don't remember, she thinks but doesn't dare say, for fear he'll ask about those other things.

"You're my wife." He says, still stunned, and she nods. "We're married."

She nods again, and watches as the confused awe on his face turns into an almost relieved joy, and his bottom lip trembles as tears start rolling down his cheeks.

"Jake..." She whispers in turn now, her free hand (that is not currently being gripped by both of his) cupping his face and wiping away some of the tears that keep flowing.

"You're happy?" He asks with trepidation in his voice, and Amy wonders if the emotional rollercoaster is another side-effect of his medicine or just his lowered inhibitions. "I'm a good husband?"

"I couldn't wish for a better husband. You make me very happy." She's almost close to tears now herself. "I love you so much."

He gasps at that, and pulls her still gripped hand up to his face, pulling her closer to him in the process.

"I love you, Amy." is his answer, and she realises he means it, even with all the things he doesn't remember, all the things he doesn't know yet. "I love you so much. I can't believe I get to marry you."

His tears have calmed down a little by now, and she fixes her awkward pose of leaning forward and having both arms reach for his face by climbing up onto the bed with him, as he lowers their hands and looks at her with stars in his eyes and so much love on his face, she can't resist to pass the last few inches and kiss him.

His eyes are still closed when she pulls back and touches her forehead to his, and he's whispering again.

"Wow."

"Well, that's certainly an appreciated reaction." She giggles.

"Don't tell me I don't react like that every time you kiss me, because there's no way I'll believe that."

"Yeah." She smiles again as he opens his eyes and smiles back. "Yeah, you kinda do."

And just to prove it, she kisses him again.

[buckybabybaby]

café d'amour

A/n: my entry to @firefly-in-darkness 's challenge. Thank you for letting me enter! I left it to the last minute once again, but! This time it's not late so... fingers crossed next time I'm early xxx

Proof read with a text-speech device.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/reader (gender neutral)

Word count: 3537

Warnings: none! :]

Plot: Maybe covering a friends shift in a city park coffee kiosk won't be too bad if it means running into a certain super soldier.

coffee-shop sort of au, fluff and more fluff.

Masterlist

*****

The machine humming quietly in the corner of the tiny hut seems to be mocking you, a constant reminder of just how out of your depth you are. People who think working in a coffee shop, or in your case, a take-out kiosk, is easy, should try it for a day and see if their opinion changes. This is so far away from your usual job, safe and warm re-shelving books in the colleges library, but a promise is a promise, so you've just got to suck it up for the next few weeks and hope you don't mess anyone’s orders up too badly.

Peter is going to owe you big time after this.

When he'd asked you to cover for him in his small business, you had agreed without properly thinking about what time of year it is, and how cold the wind can be when you're stood still in it for hours on end. Two days in and your hands have aged about ten years from the combination of frequent washing and the icy air, and the layers of thermals you've got on under your uniform fleece and matching joggers are making you look a little rounder than you actually are, you couldn't care less though as long as you are warm. The water heater provides a little warmth, leaking through to your skin if you press up against it, but you've found the best way to escape the freezing gusts is to crouch down below the counter when the queues have diminished.

That's where you are now, half heartedly straightening the packets of treats, getting distracted by the many different types of cookies and brownies, and not keeping an eye out for potential customers.

“Hello? Is this self-serve or what?”

The voice startles you, so close without warning, almost like they crept up on you. Hopping up quickly, you hover your hands under the sanitiser and rub them together as you collect yourself and prepare your speech.

“Hello! Sorry! Hello,” You start again, marginally calmer, “Welcome to-”

That's as far as you get, not even able to ask what they 'fancy today?' before the customer interrupts.

“Just a coffee. Black. No fancy milks or syrups or anything, no cakes or anything extra. Just coffee, okay?”

Finally looking up from your now dry hands, you take in the man who has placed such a blunt order. He's attractive enough, the little you can see underneath his hat, something about him familiar to you, his tone definitely one you've got used to over the past day or so, though he's not anywhere close to the rudest person you've served.

You smile pleasantly, in the disarming way you've learnt. “Okay, just coffee, got it. And a name for the cup?”

He looks around at the lack of other customers. “Is that necessary?”

Laughing self-consciously, you say, “Probably. If it gets busy I'd hate for it to get mixed up. I'm new.”

“Ah.” He tuts. “James.”

“James, cool. That'll be a few minutes.”

As you grab a pen to write his name on the sleeve of a cup, he shuffles off to the side, adjusting his hat as he does, and when his coat slips a bit down his left arm your mind goes blank. He's not paying attention to you so your staring goes unnoticed as you realise why you thought he was familiar earlier, wondering how it didn't click when he said his name, but then again wrapped up in his scarf and gloves it's not surprising. You're guessing he doesn't want to be recognised right now, hence the use of his real, less known name, so before he can catch your mild freak-out you look away and messily scribble on the side of his cup.

Even a simple order can be a struggle for you, and now, slightly flustered from serving the Winter Soldier, you make sure to double check the measurements before you start, concentrating hard to make the greatest cup of coffee he's ever had. There's a reason this kiosk has a reputation for the best hot drinks in the park and you aren't about to ruin it by messing up the order of Captain America's best friend.

Breathing a sigh of relief as you place the lid on top of the perfectly brewed coffee, you tap it against the table to get his attention. “Here you go. The machines ready.”

Pulling his hands out of his pockets, he swipes his card to pay then grabs the cup off the counter, murmurs something that could have been a 'thanks' and takes off along the dim path leading him deeper into the park.

“Well.” Huffing as you lean against the glass front of the booth, you watch his retreating form with a small frown. He wasn't anything like you thought he might. The media has built him up to be some sort of tragic figure, one to be feared and pitied in equal measure, but all you saw was yet another city dweller on a quest for caffeine.

At least now you have a story to tell from your time working in the coffee kiosk, aside from the ones about frozen fingers and half-spilt drinks.

*****

The next day he's back, around the same time in the afternoon, as the daylight is dying and the street lights are flickering into life, about an hour before closing. You're finishing up a complicated order for a group of friends when you notice him standing away from the small crowd, waiting for them to leave before he approaches.

“I want a coffee like yesterday,” He says, adding as though an after thought, “Please.”

“One black coffee?” You confirm.

He nods, watching closely as you locate the pen to write on his cup. Before you can even open the cap, he's butting in. “Why don't you have a name tag?”

You freeze, confused. Meeting his eye, you flush under the intense way he's staring you down. “Why don't I-?”

“You see, I have a very good memory, despite my age. I distinctly remember telling you my name is James, so imagine my surprise seeing my nickname written on my cup when I looked properly.”

His expression is not giving away any clues on how he feels about this invasion of privacy. Heart racing, you search for the right words to apologise, and convince him you're not some crazy stalker.

There's no chance to speak as he's continuing. “So I thought I'd come back today and find out your name, then we'd be even. But you don't have a badge on. Why not?”

“I'm so sorry,” You breathe, unsure what more you can say. “I swear I'm not a weirdo, I just recognised you yesterday and I must have written the wrong name by accident.” A beat of silence, then you propose a way to make it right, “How about free coffee for life?”

He laughs, a glorious sound in the crisp air, and your shoulders relax at the genuinely happy noise. “Aren't you new? Are you allowed to make promises like that?”

Wincing, you admit, “Probably not. But when I explain it to Peter I'm sure he'll understand.”

“Peter?”

You start working on his drink as you talk. “He owns this place. And normally works this shift, I'm only covering whilst he's away.”

“Oh.” The hissing of steam drowns out his next sentence, you only catch the last half, “-here how long?”

“Couple of weeks, maybe? Not too long hopefully. You'll have a professional barista back soon, don't worry.”

“I think you're doing fine.”

The words are spoken so softly, such a contrast from how you thought this conversation would end, and the shock has you fumbling with the finished cup of coffee, nearly spilling the scolding liquid all over your fingers.

“Careful.”

Taking the cup from you, his hand lingers against yours for a moment too long and you force yourself to stand up straighter and away from his touch. The last thing you want is to become a horrible cliché, falling for a customer after a few sweet lines.

He grabs a few napkins to wipe the cup dry, then looks expectantly at the card machine.

“I meant it, free for life,” You say, determined.

Shaking his head, he roots around in his pockets, pulling out a couple of notes and sliding them across the counter towards you. “Old fashioned money it is then. I didn't mean to come across as angry earlier, or yesterday, thinking about it. Sorry about the whole,” He waves his hand around vaguely, “Murderous vibe I give off, or whatever Sam calls it.”

He rolls his eyes fondly when talking about his team mate, and you giggle as you reassure him. “You didn't look murderous, just a bit like you might sue me.”

“Ugh.” He wrinkles his nose. “Not really my style.”

Your bank balance is thankful. “And to answer your question, I'm Y/N.”

Blowing on to the top of his drink, he takes several steps back, all whilst keeping eye contact. “Well then Y/N, I guess I'll see you tomorrow.”

“I'll be here.”

With that, Bucky waves goodbye with a wide smile, disappearing into the dusk as you wonder just how much trouble he's going to be.

*****

The kind of trouble you don't mind, you find out when you run in to him again the next day, a lot earlier than you imagined. In an attempt to keep yourself warm for the long hours stood in the open, with only a waist high counter between you and the frozen air, you've taken to walking around the park before you are due to start, so the heat generated by the exercise keeps you warm for at least a proportion of your shift.

The sunshine is deceptive this afternoon, doing nothing to raise the temperature as you wander around the edge of the lake. Lost in thought, a sudden shout from behind makes you jump.

“Hey, Y/N! Wait up.”

Turning around, you struggle to place the voice as you scan the few people also on this side of the park. None of them are even looking in your direction, let alone trying to draw your attention, and you're about to continue on your way thinking you must have misheard when a body nearly crashes into yours. This is not an image you ever thought you would see; the Winter Soldier panting to catch his breath after jogging up to you, all because you're on first name terms and not because you've suddenly turned to a life of crime.

“Bucky?”

At your bemused tone, his face drops. “Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. If you want to be alone, I can go, I just thought-”

“No! No, it's okay. I don't mind a bit of company.”

You share a smile, and he lets you take the lead back along the small track, winding its way between the trees and the water.

He breaks the silence a few meters along. “So, what do you normally do?”

“Me? Err,” You pause, trying to think of how to make yourself sound interesting to someone who spends his life side by side with superheroes and literal gods. Sighing in defeat as you conclude you're always going to be boring in comparison, you mumble, “I work in the library where I'm also a student.”

Bucky doesn't appear to think you're dull. “That's cool!” He says, like he means it. “I miss being in school.”

“So did I, so when I got the chance I went back. I'm a bit older than most of the students-”

He snorts. “I know how that feels.”

“But I'm determined to get my degree this time.”

“I'm sure you will.” He grins at you and you're inexplicably filled with hope that he's right. “And after? Do you know what you want to do once you've graduated?”

You shake your head. “Right now all I'm focused on is passing exams and submitting essays on time. I'll think about the future when it's closer.”

“That's fair. Nothing wrong with waiting to figure things out.” More reassurance from this relative stranger. You didn't know how much you needed it until just now.

“Most people say I need a ten year plan or something.”

“Most people are wrong. But,” He pauses, and you hold your breath as you anticipate his words. “Can I suggest if you go into business, maybe don't start off by offering life time free supplies at the drop of a hat?”

Two minutes in to this 'friendship' and he's already teasing you? What is going on? Turning your face away so he can't see your stupid grin at this turn of events, you really would believe this is some sort of perfect daydream if it wasn't for the all too real frozen mist clinging to your coat and the ends of your hair.

“I'll try to remember that, thanks.”

Dodging a puddle in the middle of the path, you're trying to come up with a witty retort to impress him when your phone buzzes in your pocket.

“If you need to get that-”

“Oh, no. It's only my alarm to remind me not to wander too far from work before I need to start.”

“Soon?”

“Yeah.”

“I'll walk you back, then.”

Not wanting to leave his side quite yet, you let him accompany you back through the trees, but you refuse his offer to carry you across a muddy part of the path where the stream has burst it's banks. Flushing as he laughs at your careful steps, you manage to get across without completely ruining your shoes, informing him you've learnt the hard way that these trails aren't exactly 'white trainer friendly' as the kiosk looms into view.

Relieving the worker from the morning shift, you rearrange the counter back to the way you like it before any customers turn up, watching Bucky hovering nearby until you give him a questioning look.

He clears his throat. “If I came this way the same time tomorrow, would I bump into you then?”

The hopeful look he gives you would be enough for you that, even if this walk wasn't part of your daily routine already, you would have made it so in order to see his again.

“Uh huh. Are you planning too?”

“Whenever I come with Sam, we always end up getting recognised with the way he can't keep his voice down. It's nice not having that sort of attention. So if you don't mind?”

“I don't mind.” A patron approaches and reluctantly you turn away, sending a quiet promise to your new friend. “See you tomorrow, Bucky.”

*****

The days past so fast now they're full of work, both at the kiosk and in the library, trying to study, and, most importantly, walking with Bucky every afternoon. Some days the two of you talk the whole way, conversation flowing so easily you're amazed at how honest you are, like you've never been with anyone before, and other days you walk together in relative quiet, completely comfortable in each others presence.

Falling for him is the quickest and easiest thing you've ever done. Dealing with your feelings, however, might be somewhat harder.

With the lighter evenings comes the message that Peter is finally on his way home and soon you'll be free of your second job. It feels like a bolt from the blue, to be reminded that this is only temporary and in not too long you will no longer have an excuse to see Bucky.

You mention it to him a week before your last shift.

“Isn't that good?”

“I guess.” Your reply is short and unenthusiastic, changing the subject quickly to hide how heartbroken you are.

Time moves too fast, and before you know it you're greeting him on that last day, taken aback as he presents you with a small cardboard box, which when you take it, is much heavier than it looks. “Natasha gave it to me for you. Apparently it's really good for your hands. I thought you could try it? Now you won't have to wash them constantly?”

Scanning the sides reveals that it contains a moisturiser, from some luxury brand you've never even thought to try, too far out of your price range. “Oh, this is too much, I can't take-”

“Yes you can.”

“Let me give you something-”

Gently tugging your hand back out of your bag, he stops you from grabbing your purse by enclosing his gloved fingers around yours. When he doesn't let go, instead pulling you along and down towards your now usual route, you let him, gaping at the back of his head before coming to your senses and squeezing his hand in a kind of thanks.

“This is a very kind present.”

He shrugs it off. “It's nothing. When it's your birthday or something, then I'll get you a proper present. Presents, plural,” He emphasises as your eyes widen at the thought. “Nah, this is just one of the hundreds of products Natasha gets sent in the vain hope she'll provide the companies with some free advertising. Better you have it than it go to waste.”

It still feels like a gift to you. “Well then, thank you for thinking of me.”

“Always.” The implication of that one word would have been entirely missed if it wasn't for the panicked look on Bucky's face as he corrects himself. “I... I mean, of course.”

Stopping in the middle of the path, your joined hands cause him to halt too and the atmosphere grows tense as you stare at each other, unsure where to start. The minutes haven't stopped ticking down until you're due on your last shift, and with the implication that comes with hanging over you like a dark cloud, now seems just as good a time as any to bring it up.

You hesitantly begin. “Bucky, can I say something?”

Mutely, he gestures for you to proceed.

“Right, so you know today's my last day at the kiosk, at least until Peter goes away again, so, that means I won't have a reason to walk around here any more. Or I won't, unless...”

“Unless?”

“Unless I do. Unless you still want to come around the park with me, even if it's for no more reason than simply going for a walk?”

“I'd love that.”

The relief that flows though you as he agrees is almost physical, gripping onto his hand in yours just a little tighter.

Feeling brave, you dare to push your luck. “And if it was more than just a walk?”

It takes a moment, but then you see the realisation dawning on his face, a slow smirk appearing as he takes a step into your space. “More?”

You know he knows what you mean, that he's playing with you. That doesn't soothe your doubts though, hoping beyond hope that you're not misinterpreting his teasing.

“Yeah. More.”

Letting go of your hand in order to bring one arm around your waist and pull you closer, your own come to rest against his lapels as he dips his head down.

“I think I'd like more,” He whispers.

You swallow as his gaze slips to your mouth, sinking in his embrace as his lips brush against yours, so soft and brief it barely registers,

Moving back to put a bit of room between the two of you, his thumb brushes over the corner of your mouth as you pout sadly.

“You can have another one once you've finished tonight. Maybe. Or maybe you'll have to wait until after our date tomorrow.”

You frown. “Tomorrow?”

“Yep. If you're free?”

“Always.” Repeating his earlier phrase with a sly smile, you turn around to continue along the track, leaving him speechless for a second before he rushes to fall into step.

His arm slides through yours. “So, is it okay to wait for you tonight?”

“You've just kissed me and you're still asking that?”

“I'm just checking.” When you don't answer he presses, “Is it? I don't want to impose.”

'Too late for my heart', you think but don't say, not wanting to scare him off, instead nodding in reply and leaning into his side as you wind your way through the woodland path. The fear you had felt this morning at potentially having to say goodbye to Bucky feels like a distant memory, and as you watch the sunlight dance across his hair you realise you could never have let today be the last. You started this job reluctantly and now, instead of Peter owing you for the favour, it seems you owe him.

Peter doesn't needs to know just yet, you decide.

That usually particularly muddy part of the path has become even muddier after the overnight rain, and this time you allow him to pick you up in his arms and carry you across, feeling its finally appropriate now your relationship has changed. Setting you down on the other side, he presses a kiss to your forehead almost absent-mindedly, and your tummy does a flip as you take a second or two to admire his profile.

You sigh happily. So much for not becoming a cliché.

*****

Thank you for reading!! Masterlist

[scripttorture]

Do you have any advice for self-care to use specifically when you are angry and frustrated by torture apologia? Or even more so when being dismissed when confronting others because they think you are not smart, too emotional, not having enough applicable background, etc. I wanted to keep this general. I know you posted about taking breaks and keeping up your mental health but I could not find anything about ways to deal with anger that don’t involve confronting others, especially if it is culturally frowned upon. Thank you for your hard work with this blog.

Well duck, I uh mostly deal with anger by running this blog.

 I’m honestly not sure that I deal with anger well. I try and I’m working on it but I know I struggle to stay calm and polite when something infuriates me. I’m also a lot better at communicating in a helpful, patient and articulate fashion in writing then I am in person.

 Keep in mind that you do not have to have these conversations every time someone is spouting torture apologia.

 Spreading awareness is great! Educating others is great!

 But (and I really can not stress this enough) it is not your job to correct everyone. It is not your job to ‘fix’ people. It is not your job to persuade others they should care.

 Pick your battles. Engage with people who you think you can have a genuine conversation with. Remember that when you’re talking politics (and torture is political) then the aim is not to convert the people on the extreme ends: it’s to persuade the people who are on the fence.

 And if you really want to engage with people engage about the things they care about. If you’re talking to someone who believes in law and order or justice as retribution then talk about how torture puts police at risk and how it leads to innocent people landing in jail. If you’re talking to people who are concerned with safety in their neighbourhoods talk about how torture can serve as a recruiting factor for extremist groups and gangs. If they’re concerned about public health and the treatment of the mentally ill talk about how torture causes life long health problems and how that takes away from the economy.

 Aim at the level where people are willing to engage with you.

 If people take issue with your level of education or subject and question how you can know this stuff; act like an academic would. Cite your sources.

 ‘Well Rejali who studied this for years and created one of the most detailed analysis of global torture we have-’ ‘O’Mara, who studies the brain and how trauma impacts it,’ ‘Morgan, who put US marines through a mock interrogation with mild levels of stress and found-’ ‘Shalev who studies solitary confinement-’ ‘Sironi who is a psychologist and has interviewed hundreds of torturers-’ ‘Kara who produced the largest data base of interviews with modern slaves-’

 Repressing your anger, tapping it down, is not a good idea. As with most negative emotions it’s healthier to let yourself feel them and work through them.

 It’s also important to recognise that while there are real reasons for your feelings you can not always do anything about them. And there comes a point where you have to deal with that. The things that anger us and hurt us are not always things we can actually personally effect. Changing public opinion takes decades and is the work of thousands of people, not one individual.

 I feel like those of us who are not from the West have a bit of an advantage here, because sitting with that anger and learning when and how to put it aside is something you grow up with.

 Having support helps a lot. Having people you can talk to about this stuff is incredibly important. And I am so grateful to all of the people I know who support me in this: the court journalists, philosophers, writers and researchers who I can discuss this with. I also get a lot from reading about the successes around the world, modern or historical. They’re out there.

 Martial arts have also helped me a lot over the years. Capoeira helped me a lot but given the pandemic it isn’t a great idea right now. But a pair of boxing pads and a willing house mate are definitely a good way to get out some anger. Thumb on the outside of your fist, never inside your fingers. Keep it close to your body, fist at your hip, thumb upwards. Twist as you punch so your thumb faces down as you connect with the pad. Make sure to move your hips.

 Don’t do what I did at uni and try to use a pillow instead of proper pads. You’ll end up bruised.

 Right now, without a decent capoeira group and a lockdown in place, I do push ups.

 If you have a garden dig. Plant young trees, if you’re in the northern hemisphere (it’s the wrong time in the southern hemisphere.) Dig a vegetable patch. Make an area of wild flowers by cutting and tearing out the grass, raking the ground and scattering native plant seeds in the mud.

 Take all the electric whisks out of the kitchen and make a cake. Cream the butter until it feels like your arm will fall off.

 Make a curry from scratch without a blender. I use a granite pestle and mortar and it takes several batches and several hours to grind a proper paste. I’m a big fan of Matar Paneer and it freezes well giving some tasty work lunches for a week or so.

 Make bread. I’m not very good at this but the kneading, layering and mixing all take a lot of work. Which can be a very good outlet. I wish I could give you a paratha recipe but the truth is my skill level is no where near high enough to attempt the best breads. (I buy mine frozen.)

 The advantage I’ve found from all of these outlets is they’re constructive. Boxing and push ups will make you stronger, whatever skill level you start at. Gardening will give you fruit, vegetables or wonderful flowers in a few months time. It’ll give you new knowledge of plants. Cooking any of the things I’ve suggested will give you wonderful food and more skills.

 I always try to find something constructive to do with my anger. I think there’s a tendency to portray anger as bad in and of itself rather then having a conversation about how we act on our anger.

 I also can’t stress enough how writing can help. Fiction is an excellent way to process our feelings and express why we feel the way we do.

 The piece of fanfiction I’m currently writing has one of the characters dealing with a traumatic brain injury. Writing this character struggling to communicate what he’s going through and trying to come to terms with his limits while the people around him are looking at him and saying ‘well you don’t look disabled-’ It’s helped me process a lot of my anger over how I’m treated because of my mental health problems and the dumb, unnecessary barriers that make my life more difficult.

 What’s the root of the anger here? When you know that, you can address it with words. You can construct a story that will explore it. You can see it through the lense of different characters. And that really helps process it.

 I hope that helps :)

Available on Wordpress.

Disclaimer

[franki-lew-yo]

I really hate 2d purists. No, not 2d animation. Not 2d animators.

2d purists.

The sad thing is it’s gotten to the point that I really cringe hearing any pro-2D sentiment at all. I hate the arguments I agree with because how often they're misused and weaponized by idiots.

Let me make my stance here clear - 2d is NOT appreciated and 3d is used for everything! The layman Karen-mom who doesn’t have an artistic bone in her body looks at stupidsmooth 3D Grubhub ads and assumes quality cause it “looks more real” (aka ‘rendered’). I know as much is true because I literally have a member of my family who told my sister and I that she thinks 3d is better (and also that she “tolerated THOSE movies for us kids”. Touching words. My sister was taking an animation course by the way). Combined that with the studios either using 2D for cheap stuff or finding good 2d animation too “costly”, I get it and I’m not even any animator. I'm just a worm an illustrator.

but holy HELL -

There’s a backlash from the artistic community that's it's own kind of insufferable and deserve to be addressed.

“(insert2Danimatedfilm) is better BECAUSE it's 2D!”

followed by: "Animation is a visual medium and the quality of the art affects how much the story means !!!!”  

Yes. Totally. Animation is a visual medium and the look and style is important. Sadly, people use this excuse to really obnoxious ends, insisting that design being pretty is '' everything ''. When you treat a movie more as a special effects demo I get why you talk about the artistry at hand; but I’m sorry, visuals are not the only thing important and it’s why I’m also getting sick of the sameElsafacesyndrome rants too! There’s this attitude that's reads as "but it LOOKS better fromaproductionimage/teasertrailerwhichapparentlyisindicativeof all themovieactuallyis so it MUST BE better".

-“3D should only be used to make things look realistic!”

I think I know the logic this criticism is made in response to, and that’s the Sony + Illumination films which look just as good in 2D as they do in three dimensions. I know it feels like people are twisting this medium to try and make it like a classic cartoon when by all means people can and would love a classic cartoon being a classic cartoon. That I get- From the unsung 2D animator’s perspective, that’s more than valid !

But it’s a huuuuuuge slap in the face to 3d in saying it should only be used for "realistic animation" because

1: It’s not like realistic animation could age badly or look uncanny in the next few years. It's almost like technology is constantly improving, which I guess 2d animation never did and it was always the same technique and quality as every film that came after it.

2: The industry does treat 3d as a magic-moneymaker for this reason. Just listen to these people call the 2019 LION KING “live action” as if they’re embarrassed to call it animation. It IS animation! It would be impressive if you acknowledged that what it is, but like the CATS, you basically are treating it as just a neato tool to better your live action and not it's own artform - which it is!

3: By this “three-deeonly gud when real liek in da toystories” non-logic I guess 2d should ONLY be for flowyflowy SPACE JAM cartoons and maybe some Disney*. Just that though. You can’t do anything more with 2d. It’s never supposed to be realistic I guess. Good thing Richard Williams only did 'toons' and just toons that’s why we need 3d in the world I guess.

Wait no - that’s stupid.

"I HAVE to see the “Land Before Time 14″ when it comes out! I mean it’s a 2D animated film!"

Lost in the aether that is Youtube comment chains removed from kid's videos is a stream of this very VERY stupid argument supporting the buying of the 14th LAND BEFORE TIME film because it’s supporting 2D. My sister and I can be found on that chain arguing against this stupidity. All you have is my word, but trust me: it really did happen.

I’m sorry but...no.

Unless you have a friend or a family member who worked on these movies there’s no reason to see this and ESPECIALLY no reason to insist it’s a win for the 2D community if you buy up this crap - and I'm not judging if you do like it, but come on! LAND BEFORE TIME 14 isn't where your money should go if you really like this medium.

What’s so infuriating about this argument is you can tell it’s made by nonanimators. Real animators will tell you to support their movies cause they want some respect for their artform which is why there’s such a push from the PRINCESS AND THE FROGcrowd that you SEE and LOVE every 2d thing out there, regardless of how good it is because any recognition for it is k i n d o f what they're after!

Kiddy sequel schlock isn’t even in the same ballpark as KLAUS or WOLFWALKERS; these films DID have very limited theatrical runs (Klaus so it could be nominated; Wolfwalkers in places where theaters opened up after Covid) and should have been supported because they were labors of love made by people who love animation.

As other people have already pointed out, one of the reasons for the lack of interest in 2000sera2D animation is that the only films released alongside critical+financial 3D hits were cheaper 2D films that either coincided with daytime tv shows or should have been just direct-to-video. It’s not to say art couldn’t come out of these flicks, but dayum if it wasn’t abused as much as the texture software that era's CG used... Point being, should the world ever go back to normal: If you hear about an out-of-town showing an acclaimed 2D animated film, make time to trek out and see THAT!

Don’t give your money to see yet another made-for-tv movie on the big screen because all that tells the studio is: “yeah 2d IS cheap and only good for cheap stuff let’s just keep it cheap. Only 3d is important 8D 8D 8D !!!"

“I don’t understand how it works. So it sucks.”

This text is from an ANIMATOR btw.

“I don’t understand how it works” and “it’s just some computer rendering” is the exact same wave of logic the people who prefer cgi use.

The plebian Karen I mentioned earlier? She understands the basics of 2D animation as much as you did from one of those cruddy flash classes you took in middle-school. She 'understands' the basics cuz she watched how it was made on the DVD features or maybe back on the WONDERFUL WORLD OF DISNEY. To her, the illusion is broken and she’s not impressed by 'just some drawings on paper'. You, an animator, know the process is more complicated and is intrigued by knowing how it’s made - not bored or disinterested -

Neither you nor Aunt Karen have really good cg-animation software at your house and unless you ARE a 3D animator you probably DON’T know all the ins-and-outs of how these movies are modeled, rendered, and animated.

Aunt Karen is bedazzled by them cause she doesn’t know how it works and the technical aspect makes her brain hurt so it might as well be magic and she can feel like a cool kid sharing Minion-memes. Aunt Karen is the nonartistic type who just wants to feel safe. You're not. You want to feel challenged.

I get it: you’re pissed off cause you’re in a field no one, including Aunt Karen, appreciates; told to work in cg which it's an artform you didn’t devote your life to and told to learn it cause THIS style sells! 3D is everywhere and is starting to look like 'garbage' even if you don’t animate 3D models yourself you just KNOW, I guess. Besides, you know all there is to know about 2d!! You know all there is to possibly know about this artform and have to fight this 'war' against "r e a l" animation! And I mean even when 3d software is there to use, it's not like you can actually make anything worth while in it, especially not anything that transcends the medium. Right Worthikids?

TL;DR: This argument is basically just " BWAAAAH I’M NOT GONNA USE IT I HAVE STANDARDS (a chip on my shoulder cuz art should be what I deem it to be) "

“PRINCESS AND THE FROG is-”

There’s a reason I can’t say I truly like PRINCESS AND THE FROG even though it's not even a bad movie! Like, stop reading this and watch PATF if you haven't it's good. It's my 'FROZEN', in that; I see a lot of potential in it I just think it needs some serious rewriting and that bugs me. Always have felt that way, tbh.

I dislike this movie because the response from the animation community seems to be it was perfect and the Academy was just Pixar-crazy with UP ((ftr, the Academy IS Pixar’s bitch and I personally advocate a sequel be made to WAKING SLEEPING BEAUTY about Mike Eisner’s sabotage of the 2D department at Disney which is still in place now!- but that’s a story for another day)). I’m sorry but UP was just a better story. So was CORALINE. So was FANTASTIC MR. FOX. Honest to god it feels like poor PATF is brought up as just a talking point and never for it's own worth as a labor of love - which it was! I'd like to honestly know: had PRINCESS AND THE FROG come out now and been cg if it would have even half the defenders for it because now it doesn't "look" like how a Disney movie "should" look...

If you like PatF more than the currant Disney lineup because of it's culture, it's music, it's feminism, it's black representation? Awesome. Great. Those things should be appreciated and I never want that taken away from you. But if you seriously think PatF is better just for how it was animated and looks - I lowkey may hate you.

“ALL OF DISNEY’S LATEST MOVIES SHOULD HAVE BEEN 2D! THEY ALL LOOK AWFUL IN 3D!! ALL OF THEM!”

TANGLED, FROZEN, and MOANA? Yeah. Sure. But um, e x c u s e y o u- WRECK IT RALPH sooooo doesn’t work in 2d! It could have used different between the various worlds but it’s about hopping through different video games. I’m also of the opinion that ZOOTOPIA and BIG HERO 6 are fine the way they are. Their 3d is awesome.

The latest fairy tale Disney films are really big on their place alongside the 2D canon esp in marketing. They keep trying to mimic 2D to varying results though I don't think it works as well as the movie's I'd previously mentioned. Me personally, I would love a mix of 3D and 2D technology, like if the backgrounds in FROZEN still got to be 3D but the characters were handdrawn and shaded ala KLAUS ((sweet sigh)). But even then are they truly unwatchable just based on how they're animated to you?

MOANA would have been incredible in 2D but for the record - I don't think it feels out of place in it's style. It reminds me more of a Pixar movie with the heart of a Disney classic which is it's own just as good.

“2D is the oldest form of animation and it’s being replaced.”

Actually, if we’re talking animation in film, stop motion is the earliest form of animation. The stop motion animated THE ADVENTURES OF PRINCE ACHMED and TALE OF THE FOX predate Disney’s SNOW WHITE. And yes: stop-motion IS still a form of animation even if it’s a serious of pictures taken of real life things and not drawings, so don’t you dare come at me with the "but that's not animated"/"Technically it’s LIVE ACTION" crap or I’ll envoke the spirit of Sandman to get you at night.

“Every animated film would look better in 2D! Even PIXAR would look better in 2D!”

Again, Stop Motion.

No, I mean it.

Lemme ask: Would ISLE OF DOGS or FANTASTIC MR. FOX carry any of the same effect if they were generic 90s toons? I know NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS wouldn’t. Christ, don’t even get me started on Svankmajer!

Sometimes the problem is that a movie is envisioned with a specific artform in mind. Pixar started out with toys and bugs for a reason and that’s cuz they were always gonna be a 3d studio and they needed to first overcome the placisity of the models. Over the years they’ve gotten really good at effects and blending unrealistic proportions with real textures (and also not so much- ONWARD and THE GOOD DINOSAUR really needed some different character designs and yeah, I do think would have looked better with a 2d artstyle, but not the ones they had in their films. THE GOOD DINOSAUR needed more realistic-speculative looking dinos and ONWARD needed a grittier HEAVY METAL/BLACK CAULDRON appeal to its designs.) My point being that the problems with these movies aren’t even inherently the animation as much as it is a problem of style. As someone who runs a group speculating different styles and designs for movies and tv shows I’m all for envisioning a 2D ZOOTOPIA or Bluth-inspired FNAF. That’s amazing!

But that’s also the talk of fan artists and nerds and not the professional artists working on visualizing their stories!!

Since I ate, slept, and breathed NIGHTMARE in my youth I’ll use it as an example: All the concept art ever done for TNBC was on paper and 2D was used in the final film. However, even when Tim Burton was thinking of making it just a tv special it was always going to be stop-motion. NIGHTMARE’s puppet cast do work very well in two dimensions, believe me, but the film was made as a love letter to Rankin/Bass and the art form of stop-motion. Skipping to another Henry Selick-helmed project (haha), JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH was also always envisioned as a multimedia film to give it a truly dream-like atmosphere. If you know anything about Henry Selick you’ll know he’s 1) a perfectionist, and 2) loves mixed media and different types of animation and puppetry at once. That’s why he was the perfect pick to direct TNBC at the time, why JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH and CORALINE are so beautiful and why MOONGIRL, his only fully 3d film, doesn’t have the same appeal.

As for what films I couldn’t imagine NOT being 3D? Probably; 9, Padak, Next Gen, Soul, Finding Nemo, the Toy Story films, Wreck-it-Ralph (as previously mentioned), Wall.E, Waltz with Bashir, Robots, Inside Out, Arthur Christmas, The Painting, Happy Feet, Shrek, Enter the Spiderverse, Megamind… just naming a few here.

“I want a traditionally animated film [and by that I mean a 90s-Disney/Don Bluth looking movie] of ‘x'-popular live action/stage thing!”

Okay I’m cheating a bit but it’s my blog and so I’m gonna stick this one in because it’s related.

When I see musings about wanting live-action or CGI shiz to be in 2d again a lot of the time this argument actually boils down to " I want this to look like a 90s Didney movie ". Or, if it’s about animals - " I want it to look like a Don Bluth film! "

Like...there ARE other styles of animation out there...you know that right?

Frack, Disney themselves tried different styles throughout the 90s it’s just that the peak of the Disney renaissance films (LITTLE MERMAID, BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, ALADDIN, THE LION KING) and the many imitators that followed tended to have the same look to them where only film/animation nerds kept watching into the era that was TARZAN, HERCULES, and ATLANTIS along with the kids. Aunt Karen wasn't singing Part of your World in the carride with you every day.

The Don Bluth argument is especially irritating because...what exact feeling do you WANT from a movie if it looked Bluthish? Each of the four ‘quintessential’ Bluth movies (NIMH, AMERICAN TAIL, LBT, and ALL DOGS) have such a different feel to them that’s complimented by that style; SECRET OF NIMH is a drama about wild animals trying to understand humans; LAND BEFORE TIME is even more squarely about an animal’s perspective as there’s literally no humans around; AMERICAN TAIL uses animals stowing away on the ship to tell a story about refugees; and ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN is ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN.

What the frack are you even asking for with that because I think there’s a certain flavor to the Bluth-styled oeuvre as well as the 90s Disney catalogue that would clash too much stylistically with some films.

Also come on! Like some Bluthian-style 2d would really fix THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS or SCOOB!, bite me.

I think this fixation solely on these two hand drawn styles and nothing else is based on nostalgia goggles, refusing to step outside the norm and discover different films and feelings than Disney and Bluth, and just preference. Goin back to NIGHTMARE there will always be a special place in my heart for Henry Selick’s stop motion, but I couldn’t imagine CHICKEN RUN or ANOMALISA in it's unique style.

Also I’m tired of every time there’s a "lets make an animatic to ‘x’ musical theater song" it’s reliably just Disneyesque or realistic. WHY envision an animated version of the show at all if it doesn’t have A STYLE to it??!?! I’m sorry but 90s-Disney does NOT fit CABARET!

“3D is so CHEAP now! Why can’t they just do 2D again?”

I think - on the cusp of the 2020s and the Grubhub hatedom, there ARE changing times ahead for 3d and 2d. The general public are starting to get tired of the same looking 3d films and wanting some 2d back, but they don’t have the best resources or opinions on animation to know what it is they want. Meanwhile, the animation community + industry is trying to figure out what to do and you have a lot of turmoil between the monopoly that is the industry, the high standards of the artists, and the mixed wants of the animation fanbase deciding what art needs to be.

It’s a tough business. And in the spirit of that tough business - maybe DON’T act like the means of a film’s production is solely your control, that you know best, and know definitively what the artists should have done....cuz you don't. Sorry my fellow criticalfanomanalysist-folks we DON'T and in an age of standom where fans and critics think it's okay to hackle indie animation studios about not getting their pitched cartoon out fast enough - we need to reserve these discussions to our circles and not treat them as gospel.

3d animation and 2d animation have to share this world. Stop acting like they’re either interchangeable in terms of budget, means of production, or artistry or that one has to be superior to the other.

The industry already says one art form is better (spoiler: it’s always live-action), we don’t need anymore of this purist garbage. Just stick to what you like while trying new things on the side. Be critical while also being compassionate. And remember:

[ohnobjyx]

A hotpot of candies EP 1-2

It took me so long to find somewhere to watch all of the episodes of “Let’s hotpot together” that I only sat down to write this today. This is going to be a “compilation post” since most of the candies are already out there, but picking them and putting them together was still fun for me.

Disclaimer: fake fake fake.

1. Gongcai expert

The first big signal for this one is the director saying “only people who frequently eat Sichuan hotpot will order this”. Sichuan and Chongqing are very close and Chongqing cuisine is considered a derivative from Sichuan cuisine with local flavors (Henan, where dd’s from, has a cuisine that’s a mixture of Jiangsu and Beijing cuisine, and it’s known for being mild and a mixture of flavors).

Then ZHL adds that “this person must have a good understanding of me, and must not be very young”. This received a bjyx explanation, as apparently, as many parts of the Chinese cuisine, this is a dish better appreciated by older people, so it’d be rare for dd to know of this vegetable.

However, I think that he was just talking about age differences. ZHL follows an almost vegetarian diet, which would be known by people who know him well. He’s 45 years old, more than 20 years older than dd, so it’d be strange for dd to know that he prefers vegetables to meat in his dishes. That’s why, in my opinion, dd chose this dish just because he likes it, no deeper meaning.

Not just that, but for someone who struggled to remember the name of a typical dish of his hometown, he knows surprisingly well how to prepare it in a hotpot, and which is the best way to eat it. And he keeps taking bites from ZHL’s plate throughout the episode.

He also was the only one who recognized it in a TTYSJ episode (ttxs during quarantine).

2. The spicy hotpot (EP1) and the Sichuan pepper oil (EP2, more info in point 4)

This is the most telling one for me in the episode. When gg and dd were asked whether they preferred all-spicy or mixed hotpot/鸳鸯锅 (the photo is a mixed pot, whereas an all-spicy only has the right side) in CQL interviews, gg said “all-spicy”, and dd, “mixed pot”.

They also explained in other events/shows what kind of dippings they preferred for their hotpot. Dd liked sesame paste, while gg liked a mix of powdered spices (spicy as f***, really).

They both changed their hotpot tastes:

As shown in the episode, dd now likes to eat an all-spicy pot with a base of Sichuan pepper oil and garlic, “classical Sichuan hotpot” combination (EP2). Just look at his face after he says “this pot is so spicy”.

Gg, in more recent interviews, admitted that he now likes the mixed pot and that he now prefers the sesame paste. In one of the interviews, he admitted that if he ate a too spicy hotpot now, he’d have diarrhea.

They both said they like cow tripe (mao du) for their hotpot. Dd likes it so much he eats it anytime he has hotpot in a show and gg once said that it’s one of his “3 must have” for hotpot.

Dd’s change is very drastic. Really. In the variety show (极限青春) dd filmed in 2019, dd was uncapable of eating Chongqing’s spicy dishes.

If any of you have travelled to Sichuan, you’ll know that it’s hard to eat there (and in the surrounding provinces) if you’re not used to spicy food. When I was there, we asked every restaurant to serve food without chili or spicy condiments for us, but everything tasted spicy no matter where. Because the pots had been used hundreds of times to cook spicy food, no amount of scrubbing could take out the spiciness. Thus, whatever they cooked was spicy for a non-Sichuan person’s standards, even if they don’t add spices.

The kind of spiciness of Sichuan cuisine also takes time to get used to, because they boast a 麻辣 (málà) flavour that’s both numbing and spicy at the same time (dd said in the variety show that it was so spicy it made his stomach hurt. I confirm that it can happen to people not used to it).

What I mean with all of this is that it takes time and a lot of spicy dishes to change someone’s taste as much as it has changed dd’s. He couldn’t even have the spicy half of the mixed pot (which is usually milder) a year ago and now he eats it even when he shouldn’t (because of his cough).

It’s not just dd who changed his tastes. These level of spiciness requires frequent exposure to not lose tolerance (almost like what happens to people who drink a lot and stop for a while, after that their alcohol resistance is diminished). So gg had to tone down the spiciness of his food, but this is likely due to him being a professional singer now, and having to take care of his voice. I find much more meaningful that he prefers sesame paste now.

3. Sore throat

So it’s a really big thing that not only did dd get used to it, but he likes it so much he’ll order it even if he has a sore throat. You really have to like something a lot to eat it even if it hurts your throat (I dare you to try having a spicy soup with a sore throat... not a good experience, I assure you).

I talked about this somewhere (oh, here), but there are 4 prohibitions in Chinese traditional medicine for those who have to take care of their throats and/or voices: spicy, sweet, oily and alcohol. These flavours and foods can be overstimulating for the lining of throat and it’s also advised not to have cold food/drinks.

So seeing him gulf down a spicy hotpot and follow it with a bottle of frozen water it’s like (sigh).

4. Sesame oil and garlic

In EP2, the captains put their hotpot base together. Dd picked Sichuan pepper oil and garlic, which is mildly spicy, so one of the directors said: “this is classical Sichuan hotpot” (dd just nodded and said yes).

Director: Have you always eaten this combination? I saw your old interviews, and you said you liked sesame paste.

Dd: Yes, at the beginning I ate sesame paste, but I met a friend in a filming crew, who taught me this way of preparing hotpot. This way, the spicy pot won’t be so spicy, so it suits my taste.

Director: yes, it’s also better for the stomach.

This is one of the many reasons mtjj don’t like people mentioning hotpot 😂. Remember that time mtjj dug up a list of people born in October 5, just trying to prove that dd’s Colgate post wasn’t about gg? Well, bxg did the same and did a list of all the people dd has worked with in a filming crew and where they are from (I only have the list in Chinese).

And... surprise: the only two people in the list from Chongqing who could have taught him Sichuan cuisine, are gg and JL. And I love jcisthebestfightme take on JL 😂

5. Bo ge/博哥 (”older brother Bo”)

A few moments after, WJE says: “bo ge said it”. Inmediately, dd jumped in and said: “it wasn’t me”.

WJE was actually talking about HB, a guest for EP 2-3, whose name contains a character that’s also pronounced “Bo”, with the same intonation. They all laugh at dd, because he’s actually the youngest of them all, and no one would actually call him 哥 (ge, older brother).

BUT... we all know of someone older than dd who actually called him Bo ge quite frequently in interviews and bts. I’ll leave here a video with some of the instances gg called dd that, though in the s/na interview (when dd was typing) gg called him “bo ge” a lot more times than what the video shows.

He’s obviously used to someone calling him that, that’s why he reacts so quickly when he hears it. Most of the people he usually works with and the friends that we know of are older than him, and out of all of them, we’ve only heard of gg calling him “bo ge”.

6. Washing a little bit

There’s also speculation and theories about another of the dishes dd picked (chicken tendons), but I don’t find it especially meaningful.

The same thing happens with “being near-sighted is like opening your eyes under the water”. Bxg were saying that the sensation must have been described to him by gg, also very near-sighted, but well... I dunno? Besides, there’s no proof for these two.

(Sad bonus, not-bjyx related: I felt really bad for them when one of the directors announced that WJE’s mum was on the backstage and coming up and it ended up being a very bad joke. While they earn more money than I’ll ever see, they can only see their families like twice a year in a very family centered society due to work schedule. They all looked very expectant and happy for a moment, until it was announced as a bad joke.

Dd said: “I thought there were true feelings in humans, I thought true love existed”. They were all disappointed, even though they cover it with laughs, and you can see WJE rubbing the corner of his eye. Even the director that played the joke felt bad and said “this was a bad one, we can cut this from the episode”. WJE said it was fine.)

Part 2: EP 3-4

[dweetwise]

a silly thing i wrote about felix and ace reacting to cheryl and feng dating <3 once again inspired by @skllyr‘s lovely art, along with my need to write a grumpy, overprotective felix.

ship(s): cheryl x feng, felix x ace warnings: none word count: 3020

Felix’s adventures in questionable parenting

“I'm… dating Min.”

From everything Felix expected to hear Cheryl say when she pulled him aside after a trial, this has to be the very last thing on his list.

It takes him a few seconds to even properly process the confession, and when he does, he's only more confused.

“Min? Feng Min?” Felix asks, baffled.

“Yeah…” Cheryl says, shuffling her feet self-consciously.

And Felix just stares, not having any idea how he's supposed to react to this information.

His not-quite-daughter but the closest thing he has to one in this world, dating one of the worst troublemakers Felix has ever met? The girl who has left him to die countless times and then made fun of him for getting killed afterwards? The one who bullies killer and survivor alike, having made even Leatherface cry mid-trial?

That Feng Min?

“I'll… give you some time to think about it?” Cheryl suggests when Felix is frozen in place for a whole minute.

He doesn't protest when she walks away, only gaping in confusion while trying to wrap his head around how on Earth the brilliant girl would ever fall for such a self-centered and obnoxious person.

Still, he decides he should get a second opinion.

So he seeks out Ace, partly because his boyfriend loves gossip, partly because he wants someone to tell him he’s not being ridiculous for disapproving of Cheryl’s terrible new girlfriend.

“Hey, handsome,” Ace greets him with a grin and a wink, but Felix doesn’t have time for flirting.

“Cheryl just told me she's dating!” Felix exclaims, fully expecting Ace to be just as shocked as him.

“Huh,” Ace says instead, not looking the least bit surprised. “Good on her for finally telling you.”

“Wait—you knew?” Felix asks.

“Honey, half of the fricking camp knew,” Ace snorts. “I've seen them holding hands and making o—”

Upon Felix's scandalized expression, Ace interrupts himself.

“—ooaan effort to get to know each other?” the man finishes instead, complete with a sheepish grin.

“And you're okay with this!?” Felix demands, astonished that his boyfriend not only knew, but didn’t think it was big enough of a deal to tell Felix about. He knows Ace isn't as close to Cheryl as him, but the gambler has also taken the girl under his wing following Felix's lead, always calling her "kiddo" and going out of his way to protect her in trials.

“If she's happy, who cares?” Ace merely shrugs, infuriatingly carefree as always.

“I care!” Felix protests. “Feng is a mean person and not suited to be in a relationship before she fixes her attitude! She's going to be terrible for Cheryl—you know how sensitive she can be!”

“Opposites attract, babe,” Ace smirks, placing a hand on Felix's knee.

The gesture manages to calm Felix after his little outburst, and he pauses to consider that maybe Cheryl and Feng aren't that different from him and Ace. He knows Cheryl is almost just as reserved as him, slow to make friends and needing time to come out of her shell. If she has taken to Feng just as Felix did to Ace, against everyone's expectations, he should respect her decision. A small smile spreads over his face as he places his hand on Ace's, realizing that maybe they're not as different as he thought—

Well. There's the notable exception that Ace isn't a complete bitch to everyone around him.

“But nobody even likes Feng!” Felix continues his rant, making Ace snort and shake his head in amusement.

“I like her,” Ace points out.

“You like everyone,” Felix huffs, rolling his eyes, annoyed at how difficult Ace is making it for him to be a judgmental bastard.

“Well aren't you just a ray of sunshine today,” Ace grins, pinching his cheek. “I know you’re not Feng’s biggest fan, but you should give her a chance. For Cheryl.”

“I know,” Felix sighs in defeat. “God, I hate it when you're right.”

The following day, Felix approaches Cheryl when the camp is mostly empty, fully intending to at least appear supportive despite his justified concerns. But as he tries to tell Cheryl he’s happy for her and thinks they’re a good couple, the girl isn’t having any of it.

“For someone who lied his entire life, you sure are shit at it,” Cheryl huffs, the unexpected honesty catching Felix off guard. “Now tell me what you really think.”

He always forgets that she’s much more perceptive than her years would suggest, able to read Felix better than people twice her age.

“I… don't think she's good for you,” Felix confesses hesitantly.

“Why?” Cheryl prods, her determined gaze practically boring into his soul and making Felix feel incredibly small. When he’s quiet, not able to decide how much he should say, she continues impatiently. “Come on—you can't just say that and not give any reasons!”

“I don't want to be mean,” Felix says, pretending like he hasn’t been secretly shit-talking the gamer for the last twenty-four hours.

“I told you, be honest,” Cheryl pushes.

“Alright,” Felix sighs, before taking a deep breath. “I think she's a horrible teammate, and not a good person. She's unpredictable and a bad influence, and I don't know what you see in her.”

Instead of being upset, Cheryl huffs and cocks her hips, raising an eyebrow.

“Really?” the girl asks.

“Um… yes?” Felix hesitates under her strangely calm demeanor.

“And that isn't a bad influence?” Cheryl asks, nodding somewhere behind Felix, who turns and sees—

Ace, who looks to be eating the contents of a toolbox.

“Ace!” Felix hisses. “Excuse me,” he says to Cheryl, who merely snorts in amusement, Felix hurrying over to his boyfriend making an idiot out of himself in front of some of the others.

“Uh-oh, mom's here,” Nea snarks when he approaches the scene, Meg giggling next to her at the joke.

Ace offers Felix a wave and something that might be considered a smile, if his mouth wasn't stuffed to the brim with mechanical equipment. And to add insult to injury, he adds another grimy gear into the mix from the toolbox.

“What the hell are you doing?” Felix demands.

Ace holds up a finger, wordlessly telling him to wait while inserting yet another brand new part, grimacing as he tries to fit it into his mouth.

“We have a bet, shoo,” Meg explains, shoving at Felix who is blocking her view of the occurring trainwreck.

“What could you possibly have bet that warrants this kind of idiotic—” Felix starts, annoyed.

“We bet five keys he couldn’t fit ten brand new parts in his mouth,” Nea explains.

“And he took it?” Felix exclaims, glancing at his boyfriend who, somehow, seems way too pleased with himself considering the situation. “Of course he did,” Felix sighs in fond annoyance, wondering why he’s even surprised at this point.

Suddenly, he remembers Cheryl, turning around to address her only to find her gone.

There’s a high-pitched laugh from the other side of camp, Felix recognizing the grating sound even before he sees its culprit, eventually spotting Feng Min and Cheryl standing next to each other with Feng… laughing at Cheryl and hitting her arm?

“Find me when your mouth isn’t occupied,” Felix sneers in Ace’s direction, annoyed at how the entire thing turned out, Cheryl not heeding his warnings and immediately going back to Feng—

And then Meg bursts into another fit of giggles and even Ace barks out something that might be a laugh.

“Woah dude, TMI!” Nea jokes, putting her hands over her ears with a shit-eating grin.

And Felix finally realizes the joke.

“Not like that!” he insists, feeling heat creep up his neck from embarrassment. “To talk! Nothing else!”

“Oh, like all the times you’ve disappeared to ‘talk’ even in the middle of a trial—” Meg starts.

“I’m leaving!” Felix announces, ducking his head to feebly try to hide his blush while stomping away from the group and their filthy minds.

He ends up at his and Ace’s shared space away from the campsite, sitting next to the overflowing trunk of items while absently picking at some prayer beads attached to a broken key.

“I’m here!” Ace’s voice eventually announces. “What were your other two wishes?”

Felix snorts and doesn’t even look up, continuing to fiddle with the item in his hands.

“Did you win?” Felix asks, spinning one of the beads around its axis.

“Ta-dah!” Ace declares, squatting down in front of him to show him a handful of skeleton and dull keys. Felix hums in acknowledgement, still lost in thought, and Ace carelessly dumps the items into the trunk before sitting down next to him.

“So, how'd it go with Cheryl?” Ace asks, wiping some residual oil from the corner of his mouth following his bet.

“Well… I may have told her I don't like Feng,” Felix reluctantly confesses.

“I… okay,” Ace says, clearly fighting a smile at Felix’s social incompetence. “It’s… good that you were honest?”

“Why does that sound like a question?” Felix says, sulking.

“Aww baby, don’t pout,” Ace says, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him closer. “I know you tried your best. We can tell her together, if you want. Just to make sure she knows you support her!”

“Thank you,” Felix murmurs, leaning his head on Acer’s shoulder. At least he has Ace, who despite his eccentric personality is always there for him.

If only Cheryl would also have the same kind of support from her partner.

“What the hell does she see in Feng, anyway?” Felix mutters, not able to stop himself from engaging in another round of shit-talk.

“Well—” Ace immediately starts.

“That was a rhetorical question,” Felix snaps without any actual heat. “She couldn't have chosen worse if she tried.”

“Oh, I don't know about that,” Ace grins. “What about, say… Élodie?”

Felix can't help the disgusted face he makes. No matter how much he pretends for the sake of keeping up appearances, he still doesn't like the Frenchwoman.

“Or David?” Ace eggs on.

“Oh, god,” Felix says, shuddering at the thought. “I see your point—”

“Legion?” Ace continues.

“Shut up! I get it, I get it! Feng is fine,” Felix says, going back to his brooding.

“You're not… upset with this whole thing because Feng's a girl, right?” Ace asks, his good-natured smile masking something unpleasant.

“What?” Felix balks. “Oh, heavens, no!” he hurries to explain. “After what I went through with my—ehm, sex… s-sexuality—” he stutters, still not comfortable talking about the subject when it comes to his own preferences, even in the arms of his very male partner.

But judging someone else for theirs? He wouldn't even dream of it.

“If anything, I'm just happy she's figured it out so early,” Felix admits.

“Okay, good! So Feng—” Ace starts excitedly.

“Is still on my shit list, regardless of her gender,” Felix deadpans.

Ace sighs and holds his hands up in defeat.

“Well, I tried,” the gambler says, before a familiar smirk appears on his features. “Now give me a smooch.”

“While you taste like a ten-year-old toolbox? In your dreams,” Felix huffs, curling up against the man instead in an attempt to save his tastebuds.

Finding the right opportunity to pull Cheryl aside seems to prove difficult, as any time Felix spots her she’s either with Feng or Ace is stuck in a trial. And after his previous failure, Felix isn’t ready to try confronting the girl alone.

But the Entity always seems to have a strange sense of humor or just impeccable timing, because after just a few short days Felix finds himself materializing at the pre-trial campfire with not only Ace and Cheryl but also Feng, all standing in a neat little row like the Entity placed them there purely to annoy him.

Great; just great. Just because Felix begrudgingly accepts the gamer, doesn't mean he wants to spend time with her. He’s been lucky to avoid any trials with her ever since Cheryl’s confession, but of course this would be the time they’re put together in one, when he’s supposed to have a heartfelt conversation with his foster daughter.

It’s a while before anyone says anything, Ace looking at Felix expectantly, Cheryl avoiding eye contact with Felix, and Feng clicking her flashlight in an annoying habit.

“Let's go, lesbians!” Ace eventually cheers, trying to muster up enough excitement to break the awkward silence.

“Try to actually do gens this time instead of just jacking off into chests,” Feng snarks just as the fog sets in.

And even though Felix knows she’s right and Ace could afford to do a lot less looting, he still shoots her an annoyed glare for daring to insult his partner, right as the fog takes him.

The trial starts much smoother than expected. The Hillbilly seems to be focused on chasing Ace and Cheryl, and Felix manages to get two generators done in between unhooking and healing them. Feng, as is typical of her, sticks purely to generators instead of going for any altruism for the first half of the trial, but then pulls through and unhooks Cheryl from the proxy camping killer.

And then the gamer proceeds to lead him straight to Felix’s generator.

As Felix is hoisted up on a hook, the last generator gets done. Felix doesn’t mind being hooked since it’s his first, more than happy to buy his two teammates dead on hook some time to escape, but he sure as hell isn’t happy with how the thing panned out.

Right as Cheryl is chased out of an exit by the killer, the Entity’s claws descend on Felix in the second phase of the sacrifice process. Ace, injured, is making his way over from the other side of the map, but he barely makes it halfway before he runs into the killer chainsawing across the map.

Felix curses under his breath, annoyed over dying on his first hook because of the selfishness of one of his teammates. Maybe Cheryl will finally see Feng’s true colors, seeing as even now the girl is just—

—running to unhook him at the last second?

The gamer doesn’t offer an explanation, merely grunting from exertion when she pulls his larger frame off the hook while Felix just gapes in confusion.

“Run, you fucktard!” Feng screams when Felix takes half a second longer than she’d like to take off in a sprint.

Luckily the killer still seems occupied with Ace and isn’t returning to defend the exit, and they manage to make it there with plenty of time to spare before the Entity forcibly ends the trial. Felix is just about to suggest they leave to give Ace a chance at the hatch, when he hears the chime of said hatch being opened with a key, signaling the man’s escape.

Now just the two of them remaining in the trial, standing in the safety of the exit gate, Felix sees an opportunity and takes it.

“Thank you for the rescue,” he says, but doesn’t get an answer, Feng merely glancing at him in distrust before looking away. “I don't know if Cheryl told you, but—” he starts, wanting to clear the air.

“You were a cunt about us dating?” the girl snarks, crossing her arms. “She mentioned it, yeah.”

“I see,” Felix says, cringing from embarrassment. “I guess I never realized how much you do for the team—and especially for Cheryl. I'm sorry.”

“Ugh, spare me the fucking sob story,” Feng scoffs. “I'm gonna be with her regardless, but you not acting like a bitch about it will make Cheryl happy. So… I guess it's fine.”

She's crossing her arms and looking away in a gesture of indifference, but is also hiding her reddening cheeks behind her bangs and showing a side of her Felix has never seen before.

“Truce?” Felix asks.

Feng looks at him warily, but then she smirks.

“Only because I could kick your ass any day.”

Felix finds himself huffing out a small laugh in amusement, and when the killer finally comes to chase them out, he’s not even annoyed at the girl’s obnoxious crouching and taunts.

As soon as they make it to the other side of the invisible threshold of the trial grounds, Cheryl and Ace are there waiting for them.

“There you are!” Ace scolds while Cheryl looks between the two, hesitant. “I thought you'd killed each other!”

"We had to stay to say bye to Billy,” Feng says.

And then Cheryl comes up to her and grabs her hand.

“Thank you,” she whispers with a happy smile, and Feng bristles like an angry cat.

“I don't know what you're talking about!” Feng exclaims and stomps further away in embarrassment, tugging Cheryl along with her.

Meanwhile, Ace sidles up to Felix, giving him a wink.

“I told her everything,” Ace explains. “And I also mentioned Feng saved you. You ever consider Cheryl might be a good influence on her, instead of the other way around?”

'No,' Felix should say if he were being completely honest.

“I still don't like her,” Felix says instead.

“Aww, it's okay," Ace says, before turning to where the girls are walking ahead of them, chatting away. "We make a good team, don't we kids?” Ace calls, smirking.

“Sure, grandpa,” Feng shoots back.

Ace gasps in shock and Cheryl has the audacity to snicker, pulling Feng along by her sleeve to continue their conversation in private.

“Well?” Felix prods, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh this means war,” Ace says with a mischievous grin.

When his lover leans in to whisper about replacing all of Feng's skeleton keys with broken ones, Felix feels a smirk tugging on his lips. Even if he no longer minds them being together, he can at least get petty revenge for all the times the gamer has been less than polite to him.

Smiling pleasantly as his boyfriend goes on in detail about putting bugs in the gamer’s toolbox and other practical jokes, Felix decides that if worse comes to worst, he can always just blame Ace for being a bad influence.

[awhitehead17]

Universal Signs

Chapter 19 / Previous Chapter 

Also on AO3

Enjoy! :D 

Kon knew to expect a lot of things when facing against the League of Assassins. He knew what he was getting into when he decided to rescue Tim from the Demon’s Head and disobey orders by leaving Krypton but he never expected this.

He stares at the two familiar figures in front of him. Both of which he hasn’t seen in a long time nor has even thought about.

Match and Thad.

Match is a half clone of Kon. The idea of cloning had originally been the leader’s idea, something about saving lives and helping to replicate organs. From what Kon knows, they had begun the experiment by replicating full Kryptonian’s to make sure everything could be fully functional before moving onto individual organs themselves. Kon never understood it and he never looked further into it.

Match was the first and last experiment Krypton conducted. Kon’s DNA had been taken and used to create Match after Kal offered it up. Kon of course was furious after he found out but once he calmed down the idea of having a sort of brother excited him. However the cloning didn’t go to plan, Match once he was created, went berserk and became unstable and to deal with it the leader’s chose to terminate him. Or at least that’s what Kon had thought.

Thad’s and Bart’s situation is the exact same. They used Bart’s DNA on Keystone to make Thad and it didn’t go to plan. Like Match, they thought Thad had also been terminated. Obviously not.

How they ended up with the League Kon has no clue but the major fact is that they are and they’re now standing in the way of the ship that’ll get them free. Next to him, Kon could hear Tim’s confusion as he questions their sudden appearance and he could feel both Bart’s and Cassie’s shock at this revelation.

At the sign of an oncoming fight, Kon automatically drops down into a defensive position, besides him his teammates do the same. He stares at the clones defiantly. “Don’t get so full of yourselves, you couldn’t beat us last time and this time will be no different.”

“Well, we’ll just see about that won’t we?”

Knowing what’s about to happen, Kon glances over at Tim who’s stood there wide-eyed staring at the pair opposite them. He’s seems to be shocked and unsure on what to do and Kon knows that he needs to get away as soon as possible. He’s hurt so he wouldn’t be effective in a fight and also because he’s the one they want.

Kon turns to look behind him where Kara and M’gann are positioned, both standing defensively waiting for the upcoming fight that’s about to happen. He shakes his head. “The both of you get Tim to the ship, we’ll take care of these two.”

They go to respond but Tim speaks up instead. The human turns to the assassin mixed within the group. “Pru do you have a lab on the ship, a laboratory of some kind? I have an idea.”

Before Kon could question what he was on about, and before he could hear Pru’s response, a shout from in front of him gets his attention. “Enough! Time to end this!”

From there his mind is taken off Tim because he’s suddenly dodging punches and kicks from his very own clone. He side steps and ducks various of times before starting to push back, however he finds he’s not as powerful as he should be. His punches aren’t having as big as an impact as they should each time they hit, and it’s only when a foot collides with his stomach which knocks him to the ground that he understands why.

Kryptonite. It’s because of the kryptonite that he had been injected with earlier, it’s still in his system and is now affecting his abilities to fight, it’s making him weaker than normal.

A punch to his head snaps his attention back to the moment. Match is now above him, raining down an assault of punches which Kon could barely defend himself against.

“We were discarded from our home!” The clone shouts at him. He grabs the front of Kon’s shirt, lifts him up from the ground only to slam him back down with a great deal of force which knocks the breath out of him. “We would have been better off being killed. But no, the leader’s shoved us both into a pod and shot us into space without any hesitation, with no regards to what would happen to us. We were abandoned, left to defend ourselves with no where to go!”

Kon tries to shove him off but without his super strength to challenge Match’s, he’s left squirming on the ground trying to gain any sort of leverage to use against him. His attempts go ignored.

“But then he found us. He realised what protentional we had and took us in, gave us training and then a purpose. He saved us. In return all we had to do was pledge our alliance and serve every command given. And what a ride it’s been.”

If he weren’t trying to break out of the hold Match has on him, Kon would be more invested in the story, however he is trying to break free and wasn’t doing very well at it. Match just seems to be putting more and more pressure on his chest which in return makes it increasingly more difficult to shake him off.

Then suddenly the weight disappears off him and Kon blinks to find that Cassie had tackled Match off of him. He takes a moment to breathe as he watches the two of them grapple with one another next to him. They trade blow after blow but Kon could see that he’s beginning to overpower her with each one.

It also hits him that Cassie is too depowered like him. The Demon’s Head had forced some kind of enchanted bracelets on her meaning she doesn’t have access to her abilities.

With that in mind Kon scrambles to his feet and also tackles Match back down to the ground. They wrestle for a moment but try as he might Match gets the upper hand once again ends up on top of Kon, pining him down to the floor.

Kon struggles underneath him and prepares himself for a punch that’s coming when Match raises his fist, however it never comes. Kon stares in bewilderment as it appears that Match is frozen above him. He could see the fear and confusion in Match’s eyes but doesn’t dwell on it, instead he takes the opportunity given and slams his own fist against the clone’s head effectively knocking him off Kon and onto the ground. Kon quickly follows through to grab his head and slam it to the ground to knock out the cloned Kryptonian. He ceases the action as soon as he feels the body go limp in hands.

Now Match is no longer a threat Kon’s eyes dart around looking at the scene. What he notices first is M’gann. The Martian is stood off to the side and has her back to him with a hand stretched out towards the other side of the room. His eyes drift in that direction and he sees a mirror image of what just happened with him and Match.

Bart had been fighting with Thad in motions that were nothing but a blur. That had been the case until Thad suddenly freezes, as if a force had suddenly grabbed hold of him and stopped him. Bart takes the opportunity to knock him out and Thad hits the ground with a heavy thump.

So the freezing had been because of M’gann, his mind rationalises. The Martian had used her telekinetic abilities to freeze their opponents providing the perfect advantage over them.

Kon climbs to his feet, wincing as he does so because everybody part is suddenly protesting at moving, and walks over to M’gann. He stands by her as Bart also makes his way over. “Not that your help is appreciated but what are you doing here? Where’s Tim? Why aren’t you with him?”

M’gann sends him a look, one that tells him she isn’t impressed with his clipped tone but she apparently lets it slide. She answers his question as she observes their surroundings. “I had been with him, however he sent me forward to prepare the ship so when he arrives we can immediately leave. He has a plan and Kara is currently with him. The human was on about making explosions before we leave.”

Kon blinks at her wondering if he heard her right. Perhaps Match had knocked him harder in the head than he thought. Did she just say Tim was planning on making explosions?

“Why didn’t you take him to the ship!” Kon exclaims. It was a simple enough task so why didn’t it happen?

M’gann doesn’t provide him with an answer, instead she glares at him before walking away towards one of the ships parked nearby. Deciding not to engage further with the Martian Kon turns to his team instead, checking them over and seeing if they’re alright.

Bart’s staring at Thad’s unconscious body as he speaks up. “What should we do with them? Leave them behind or take them with us?”

Kon’s instinctive response is to say that they should take the clones with them but he stops himself from voicing that opinion. What should they do? Recalling what Match had told him during their scuffle, the leaders clearly didn’t want them around. Could there be a way to compromise? As much as there is bad history between them, Kon doesn’t think being with the League of Assassin’s is anything good. Anywhere but here would be better despite what’s happened in the past.

He sighs and looks over at the unconscious bodies and the ship M’gann went to. “We’ll take them with us. We can deal with them properly on Krypton, anywhere other than here is better. We’ll keep them restrained until we return to the planet.”

Cassie and Bart both wordlessly nod at that. While they don’t voice any protest against the idea, Kon doesn’t know if they actually agree with it or not.

He makes a move towards Match’s body when Cassie speaks up, but not about the clones. “Kon we need to get our remotes, that’s if the Demon’s Head hasn’t already found them.” Letting out a curse Kon turns back around to face his teammate. He had completely forgotten about those. “We can’t risk leaving them behind.”

“I know,” Kon says thinking through ways they could try and find the remotes to get them back. It’s a long shot that they haven’t been found yet but they can’t leave them here. After a moment of thinking Kon gets an idea and turns to Bart. “Bart, can you search through the ships for our translator remotes and Tim’s too? You can use your speed to whip through different ones.”

Bart eyes widen before they narrow. The Speedster crosses his arms over his chest and scowls. “There are thousands of ships here Kon, how am I supposed to search through all of them? And without getting caught? I’m fast, but I’m not fast.”

Cassie responds to him before Kon gets too. “I know the rough location of the ship that we arrived on. Unlike Kon, I was partially awake when we arrived. If I give you an area do you think you can search there? I also remember where I hid the remotes to begin with.”

Bart’s glares softens at Cassie’s suggestion. A moment later he nods and listens closely as she describes the location of where the ship is parked. Then without any warnings he’s disappears in a blink of an eye.

Knowing that there isn’t a lot else he can do, Kon continues to move towards Match’s body. He picks his clone up off the floor and carries him over his shoulder’s, making sure he has a tight grip on him. He grits his teeth at the additional weight, normally he wouldn’t have any trouble but since he’s without his super strength it’s a little harder than usual.

Once he’s stable, Kon turns and heads for the same ship M’gann had disappeared too earlier. He has to admit, while her appearance was certainly unexpected it’s extremely appreciated because she really has helped them out so much since being involved.

As he gets closer to the ship he inspects it. It looks like all of the other ones surrounding them, black, smooth curved edges with hidden latches on the side. If Kon didn’t know better he would have assumed this is simply another one of the League’s ship, however he does know better and is informed that this is M’gann’s bioship.

It’s currently disguised to appear as one of the League’s ships. Just like the Martian is able to, the ship can shapeshift. This also contributes as another reason to why having her here is appreciated.

When Kon reaches the ramp a loud rumble could be heard throughout the docking bay. The sound is quickly followed by sudden shaking that unbalances him and with the additional weight he’s carrying Kon couldn’t keep his balance and falls to the floor, landing in a heap underneath Match’s unconscious body.  

Kon grunts and pushes Match off of him and frantically looks around until he sees Cassie who is also on the floor underneath Thad’s body.

“Cassie?”

She looks up at him, her eyes wide in question. “Kon what’s going on? What’s happening? We need to get out of here!”

A second rumble sounds out which is followed by more shaking. Moments later alarms begin to blare out around them and flashing red lights appear. Something major is happening, whatever those rumbles are, they’re causing the ships warning systems to go off like they’re about to prepare for battle.

“That’s Tim!” M’gann’s unexpected exclamation makes Kon look up at the ramp where she’s stood. “He’s creating miniature explosions to go off around the ship as he and the others work their way back here. Now get inside the ship so we can go once they arrive!”

“Creating what?” Kon asks completely bewildered. How is he creating explosions inside a ship full of assassins? Could that be where he disappeared off to earlier?

Knowing he isn’t going to get answer by thinking about it, Kon shoves it out of his mind for the time being, he’ll have to question Tim when he sees him. For now he climbs back up to his feet, having to steady himself when a third explosion happens, and lifts Match’s body over his shoulders. With great effort he carries the clone onto the ship. Cassie isn’t too far behind him carrying Thad.

It’s once they deposit the clones down in a cornered off cell on the ship that Bart makes a reappearance. He blurs to a stop in front of them within the cockpit looking frantic and confused. “What is going on? There is suddenly shaking happening and then alarms are blearing, I thought youmayhavealreadyleftorbeencaught!” His eyes flicker between him and Cassie as he rapidly speaks but he doesn’t let them answer before he’s talking again. “Anyway that doesn’t matter. I managed to find all the remotes! They were right where you said they were Cassie!”

Bart triumphally holds out three translator remotes. Kon lets out a relived sigh at the sight of them. At least that’s one less thing to worry about. In the back of his mind he knows that there’s a feeling of wrongness about the situation because the Demon’s Head surely would have found them, but Kon’s willing to overlook that feeling and take it as a win. Hopefully it doesn’t come to bite him in the ass later on.

“The ship is ready take off. All we’re waiting for now is the others to get back here.” M’gann reports to them from her position at the control panel. Kon nods his acknowledgement and looks out of the view screen, trying to get any glimpse of the human.

The alarms are still blearing throughout the docking bay and it’s making Kon nervous, he really hopes Tim hasn’t gone and got himself re-captured. He knows Kara and Pru are with him but anything could happen and until Kon sees Tim himself, he isn’t going to be able to relax.

A few more tense moments go by without any signs of them appearing. Next to him Cassie makes a comment on how she’s surprised that they themselves haven’t been found by any other assassins yet. Her comment is countered by Bart saying how the assassins are now running around trying to restore the damage that the explosions have caused, it’s leaving them distracted.

Now Kon’s thinking about it, that was probably Tim’s plan all along. Create a distraction so they could have a higher chance to escape without being noticed. It’s both smart and stupid. He still needs to question Tim on what he was thinking about the whole ordeal.

“They’re here!”

Kon’s brought out of his thoughts by Cassie’s shout. He focuses back on the window to see three figures running towards their ship. Kon’s heart skips a beat when he spots more figures, a group of assassins, not far behind them.

He watches helplessly as the assassins start gaining on his friends. If he had his powers he would be able to help them out, unfortunately that’s not the case at the moment and he would probably only cause more problems instead of helping them.

While running Tim trips over his feet and is saved from falling on his face when Kara manages to grab hold of his arm to keep him up right. An exchange happens between his cousin and the human before Pru gets involved by shouting something at them. In the end Kara simply picks Tim up and carries him the rest of the way to the ship while Pru hangs back and slays down the advancing group of assassins.

Kara runs up the ramp and into the ship with Pru following behind her moments later. Once they’re both on board M’gann wastes no time in getting them up in the air to make their escape.

It becomes absolute chaos.

From the moment they leave the docking bay everything becomes hectic and it’s unclear to exactly what is going on. The ship violently rocks side to side as M’gann navigates her way through the League of Assassin’s ship as she tries to find an exit point.

Despite how big the docking bay is, it seems to be impossible to dodge everything inside. They collide with other vessels, bounce off the walls and there’s a constant shaking to the craft like they’re being fired at by various of weapons.

“I’m going to have to crash through other ships to make it out!” M’gann informs them with a strained voice. Kon could see the toll it’s taking on her to keeping her ship somewhat under control through this turmoil.

“Do what you must!” Cassie shouts back. She’s currently pressed against the wall to help stabilize herself so she isn’t being flung around the place.

“Hold on!”

At the Martian’s shout Kon grabs onto the closest thing which happens to be a chair and does exactly that.

M’gann jerks the ship to the side, forcing it downwards towards an open hatch where a space pod had just entered the docking bay. With no hesitation, M’gann lets the bioship collide with it which nearly causes them to go off track but she determinedly keeps going. The rebound is brutal when they hit the pod and then bounce off the side of the hatch but soon enough they end up out of the docking bay and into the void of space.

M’gann doesn’t stop for a second because once they’re in space she’s pressing different controls on the dashboard and starts expertly flying them away as fast as she could.

It becomes a smoother ride now they’re flying through space, while the ship occasionally jerks and shakes, it’s certainly a lot better than before. At least with the situation now, they can stand up on their own and not worry about being thrown around.

“We’re not safe yet, I’m going to get us some distance away, make sure we’re not being followed and only then can we relax.” The Martian tells them as she continues to steer the bioship through the universe.

Kon nods, trusting her to get them through this. She’s already got them off the base ship, he’s sure she can get them away from anything that may chase after them.

“Kon!”

The shout of his name gets his attention and he looks around the cockpit to see who had called him, but when Cassie and Bart shake their heads he realises the shout came from outside of the room. He frowns for a moment before his mind catches up and he remembers the others who are aboard the ship with them.

Kon immediately darts out of the room and heads towards the lower deck of the bioship, that’s where he finds the three others on the floor. Tim is propped up against the wall, his head falling down to his chest before it jerks back up again and he seems to be attempting to wave off the other two hovering at his sides.

Kara and Pru are crouched at his sides speaking to him but Tim is either not paying attention to them or isn’t comprehending anything they’re saying. Maybe both.

Kon moves over and crouches down at the end of Tim’s feet. “What’s going on? Tim you okay?”

Tim blinks at him for a long moment and just as Kon’s about to ask the question again Tim frowns and suddenly looks confused. “Kon? Is that you, how are you here? Did they capture you too? I’m so sorry, all of this is my fault, I didn’t want this to happen.”

The way his voice sounds shaky and the way his words slur together has Kon on the edge of panicking but it’s his choice of words that really have him worried. Does Tim not remember anything that’s just happened? Surely he can recall them escaping the ship and then doing whatever he did to create the explosions.

“I’m tired.” Tim states blatantly, blinking slowly as his head drops to his chest again. When he jerks it back up he mumbles, “and my back hurts. Why does everything hurt?”

Kon looks helplessly at the other two who seem to be just as confused as he is. He has no idea on what to do right now or what it is that Tim needs.  

“Just go to sleep.” Pru tells him almost forcefully. Tim’s eyes flicker to her and he frowns. Pru rolls her eyes, “when you wake up everything will be better.”

Tim’s gaze turns back to Kon. ”Are we safe? Can I go to sleep?”

Kon forces himself to smile, he reaches out and pats Tim’s leg in a comforting manor. “Yeah, it’s okay to sleep Tim. You’re safe.”

Of course Kon cannot yet guarantee that and he has no clue if sleeping is the best option for Tim but he doesn’t see any other option and at least if Tim is asleep he isn’t feeling any pain. Kon watches as Tim’s eyes close, his head drops and this time doesn’t come back up, then just like that he’s asleep.

The three of them watch the human for a moment until Pru breaks the silence. She glances at Tim before looking at him and Kara. “His wounds on his back will have to be checked. They hadn’t healed when you arrived and with everything’s that’s just occurred, they may have re-opened. That’s probably what’s causing him pain.”

Kon nods in understanding, hating the fact that Tim is wounded and in pain. He hates everything that the human has been forced to endure recently.

“Right, we’ll find a place to lay him down and then you can treat him if you don’t mind. I’m sure M’gann has everything you need somewhere.”

Kara picks Tim up off the floor, taking caution to be careful, and then they find a place to lay him down. After some direction they find what they need to treat Tim and Kon leaves Pru to attend to him, though he asks Cassie to assist her. While Pru has been a massive help and has had a massive role to play in their escape, she’s still an assassin and Kon feels a bit more comfortable with someone from his team sat by Tim’s side while she treats him.

With Tim now being looked after, Kon returns back to the cockpit and stands by M’gann who is still steering the ship through space, creating a larger gap between them and the League of Assassins.

“Are we in the all clear yet?” He questions her.

She shakes her head in denial. “No. Not yet. While nothing has appeared on my radar I’m not taking any chances.”

“Very well, I trust your judgement. When you think the time is right, set course for Krypton. The sooner we get back the better, they won’t attack us when we’re there.”

She simply nods and goes back to focusing on flying. Kon leaves her to it, he drifts over to where the others have gathered at the back of the cockpit. He stands by while they catch up and talk about different topics, Kon lets their voices wash over him as he reflects on everything that’s recently happened and as he begins to think about what he has yet to face in the near future.

[damedamedame]

akane aoi + reader | so and so : chapter i

| description ! |  aoi protection squad !! and akane does an oopsie.

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The next day, Akane sneezes.

“Someone must be thinking of you, Akane.”

Aoi smiles, gleefully putting the palm of her hand on her cheek as Akane stares at her, bewilderment prancing about in his chocolate eyes. The two of them, having lived right beside each other since they were but small children, always walked to school together. It was for their safety (and for him to beat up anyone who dare try to steal her away).

“Is it… you?”

Akane shoots his shot, attempting to flirt with the pretty girl beside him.

“Mm… no.”

Yet she turns him down, like all the other attempts from before. He feigns a surprised look on his face when he hears her answer. Truthfully and ‘shamefully’, no absolute shock comes to him after hearing her various negative responses anymore, but he continues to entertain her with flattering remarks and honest compliments. Even sometimes everyday, actually going a tad overboard.

He still did these sorts of things, albeit knowing that the probability of her liking him back was more-or-less on the verge of turning to zero.

Once they enter the campus of Kamome Gakuen, most of the people around the two have different thoughts and opinions when they see them walking with each other and chatting amidst themselves. Usually, it would be about how diviningly stunning Aoi-chan looked this fine day, some would give Akane pitiful stares when they hear her reject more of his daily advances as per usual.

Others, even when the majority of the school’s population adored the cute girl, partook in various gossip and rumors which rooted from the stems of jealousy and envy.

“Ao-chan, why don’t you go on ahead?” Akane stops in the middle of the staircase after hearing another pair of students talk badly about her in hushed whispers and murmurs. Aoi, as much as she tries to hide the obvious discomfort in her cheerful acts, looks back at him with a strange mock-up of her usually petite smile and he can’t help but give her a comforting beam in his eyes in return. “I’ll be right back, I swear.”

He knows she hears what they’re saying, which is exactly why he took it upon himself to protect her from mindless haters. Which is also exactly why he sticks a baseball bat in his locker for when opportunities such as these arise. Not that he would actually hit anyone, the hassle he has with the Student Council President was already far too much to deal with.

Before Akane could face the two particular students, he hears the voice of someone confronting them with no sign of falter.

“What’s the point of badmouthing the poor girl?” 

You frown, crossing your arms as you hear them continue talking as if your presence wasn’t there at all. The two girls, both you recognize as second-year students, look you up and down when they finally decide to notice that you had been there the whole time.

This was a courageous step that you took so very early in the morning and probably the only courageous step you took in your whole life, bearing in mind that you were only a puny first-year scolding your seniors, but you could care less about what could happen next. With your sense of justification and recklessness flowing through your veins, you keep giving them a piece of your mind.

“You have no right to keep bullying her, she’s a human being too, you know…!”

Surely, you’ve dug yourself your own grave. The girls seem extra annoyed with you at this moment, and you feel the vulnerability start to lurch from the waves of anxiety that hid deep inside of you.

An alarm ringing of danger overtook your system once you’ve finished with the last few words from that long and drawn out speech of yours. Perhaps you might get karma for this later on, which you thought was fair enough.

“I get it, (L/N)-san!” One of them spoke out with clear irritation laced in her voice, arm sticking out to corner you with no chance of escape. She leans in close to your face to whisper something so quiet that only you could hear and the action sends a shiver down your spine. “You’re just doing this to get Aoi-kun’s attention, but honestly? It’s being such a pain.”

‘What?’ You clench your fist. No hidden intentions lied beneath the words that you spouted a while ago. After months of hearing such disturbing rumors sprout out about poor Aoi, and seeing the slight pale of her face when she accidentally overhears some of these ridiculous atrocities, you spoke up about it. But… this is what you get? The justice that you wanted to speak up about was being knocked down as a way of seeking attention from your crush?

“That’s not--!”

You found yourself frozen on the spot. The words, your voice of reason, completely halted before you had the chance to defend what little worth you had left. Your face pales and you’re left with the ridiculous feelings of anxiety in your nerves and frustration slowly caving in your mind. The two pesky girls only stared at you in amusement, and some part of you wondered if what they were saying was right.

No, you refused to believe that you were doing this for the sake of making Akane notice you. 

Embarrassment merely found you at the worst possible moment. Not that you were embarrassed for protecting Aoi from their harsh words. You even felt a bit of pride come to your senses because you were doing what you deemed right. You were embarrassed because once they brought Akane into the mix of things… you stiffened. They affected you in one way or another, and you cursed yourself for having such strong feelings.

Unknown to you, a certain red-haired boy had been listening in on your conversation.

A hand comes to your shoulder, and you expected the Principal or Minamoto-senpai to be the owner of that particular hand. Instead, you saw… Akane…?

‘WAITWHATHAWHATTHEFUCK’

“(L/N)-san, you’re going to be late for class again.” You didn’t expect someone like him to pull off some shoujo-type move, but shit, here he was. Akane had an irked grin, not even trying to hide how much disgust he held. His eyes showed off an ‘Ew. How dare you disrespect Ao-chan like that?’. Because of course, anyone who regarded Aoi as some sort of rubbish had to face his undying wrath. He clenches your shoulder and you barely contain the yelp at the tip of your tongue. “You should probably go before Nagisa-sensei marks you late again. Tell Ao-chan I had some minor business to do for the Student Council!”.

You nod, hurriedly speed-walking away with the warmth blooming on your cheeks once again.

Once you were out of sight and out of mind, Akane reveals the baseball bat hiding behind his back.

“Now… what were you saying about Ao-chan?”

The girls were frightened. Even going as far as to run away before Akane, who wasn’t even going to do anything very harmful to any of the two, could do anything to them. He heaves a sigh, shaking his head in a degree of disappointment. “Tsk, they never learn.”

Having quite the observant eye which he prided himself upon, the mumbles escaping their mouths as they nyoomed away from him didn’t go unnoticed. He barely heard the ‘That (L/N) >:00’ from them and he ends up wondering throughout the day about what they might do to you, earning a few strange stares from Aoi. She’d ask him if he was alright and he proclaimed right then and there in the hallway that he wanted to marry her, immediately diminishing any other thoughts.

Just as classes ended and Aoi asked him to leave earlier than her since she had to tend to the gardening club today, Akane steps out of the high school building to stretch his legs and walk around. He’s always believed that having a large amount of stamina could come in handy whenever he had to sprint over to Aoi when she was ever in danger, being the simp that he is.

Besides, those troublesome ‘co-workers’ of his, including that devil of a President, didn’t ask for his help for once, so he had a rarity of free time.

‘On second thought… they could have something planned--’

He shudders at the thought. Having to deal with Mirai again was going to be a real pain, and having to be punished by that damned exorcist was not something he had in plan for today.

Minutes later, he had realized that he’s been standing and grumbling to himself in the high school building’s entrance and everyone merely passed him by like him being crazy was normal sight to see. What made him snap out of it? Oh, well, it was the strong gust of wind that flew past him, of course. Beside him, he hears a string of curses muttered under someone’s breath. Looking through the corner of his eyes, his eyes widen at the sight of you.

‘Weird…’ He cups his chin. In all honesty, Akane had never really thought that much about you. But he’s seen a minority of the little things you do when he wasn’t focusing on Aoi or when the lecture really was too boring to handle.

How the pen your nimble fingers held wrote on its own when you were writing in that notebook of yours or how you twirled that same pen in your hands in random directions when you didn’t intend to listen and absent-mindedly flicked it off somewhere.. It was certainly an interesting and funny event when you had accidentally hit the back of Nagisa-sensei’s head once and hid yourself in the pages of your book with shaking hands.

‘Befriending her would be nice.’ He thought, reminiscing the display of sheer confidence he witnessed from you earlier that morning. However, that moment wouldn’t be now because you already walked away and--

“(L/N)-san!”

Akane eyes bulged, expression aghast at the scene playing before him in horror. You had simply been waiting for the traffic light to turn red for you to cross to the other side of the street. Standing timidly on the sidewalk while clutching your bag close to your chest, a big truck that obviously lost its control crashed into you.

Almost crashed into you.

Thankfully his reflexes kicked in just as the truck was almost at the point of colliding with your body. 

Swiftly stopping time with the pocket watch he held in his hands, he managed to push you away before any sort of absurd incident could happen. He… may have pushed you too hard, seeing as you were sprawled out on the cemented pavement, but you were safe. 

Then he realized his mistake.

‘D-Did anyone see me transform?’ He looks at his surroundings and heaves a sigh of relief. There were no people present at the scene. Most students were probably working around in their clubs and everybody rarely used this exit, so it was unquestionably safe to say that his identity was safe and not a person in sight would ever find ou--

“A-Aoi-kun--?”

Oh.

Oh no.

“(L/N)-san!” Akane jumps and speedily twirls around to face you. You? Oh, you looked unbelievably star-struck. In spite of knocking at the doorstep of death, your eyes twinkled in amazement and wonder and he can’t help but want to ask the ‘Why?’ on the tip of his tongue. A forced chuckle comes out of his throat, breaking down the silence that washed over between you two only a few seconds ago.

“Are you...” You paused, standing up and patting the dust away from your dress uniform. He doesn’t miss the way you almost trip on your own feet. “Are you an apparition?”

“You could say that.” You were right, sure, but he still didn’t like being wedged in as one of those dishonorable apparitions that lurked in every corner of the school. “Will you.. tell anyone?”

“No, not at all!” Chirping at your own words, you held one finger up to silently say ‘one second!’ and then quickly rummaged around in your bag to get something. To say that he was curious was an understatement. (Y/N) (L/N), who hummed to herself while checking something in her shoulder bag like she didn’t just almost die, was a strange one indeed.  

Examining the surroundings, he understood where he made the mistake in his actions. He only froze the truck. Originally, he had enough power to freeze both the truck and (Y/N), but after recently using up his time to freeze Aoi, he weakened himself quite a bit. He grimaces at the simple error, but decides that he shouldn’t beat himself up for it because the future wasn’t in his hands. The future was with Mirai, not him. 

‘What the fuck am I supposed to do with this truck.’ 

Akane’s nose scrunches, arms crossed as he tries to figure out a solution. A shudder goes down his spine when he suddenly feels someone tapping on his back. Lo and behold, it was you, holding up the notebook he’d see you with in class all the time. A sheepish grin appears on your face. He sees the slightest tint of pink appears on your cheeks, which he excuses as a form of embarrassment seeing as what you were holding up was...

“A picture book for apparitions and supernaturals...?”

END NOTES: 2000+ words let’s gOoooO (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

oshit i forgot to tag: @astrxrism @sparkleswritings