#i have brushes to wash as i have a makeup job tomorrow!!

[gorgeousgust]

MISUNDERSTOOD FEELINGS ( Mike Ross x Reader)

Pairings: Mike Ross x Reader Word Count: 3.767 Warnings: Little bit angst but fluff in the end. A/N: Well Hello everyone! I love watching Suits a lot but it was very disappointing to not see much fanfics about the infamous Mike Ross… Well, I wanted to write one, it may be not that well but I tried my best. English isn’t my first language but I hope you enjoy it!

Last night, as you walked to the apartment you were living, the exhaustion was too intense to fighting back. Well, you worked too hard on a file with Mike Ross. He needed a hand of researching a file about one of Harvey’s super rich clients. Since you finished your work, it was okay for you to help Mike.

You found him quite interesting actually. Working crazy hours, trying to memorize everything, every rule, every clients needs; he was just doing it smoothly. One time, you got to experience it, Louis Litt was giving you a hard time about a case he gave you. Well, you never run away from a fight, so as he was pressuring you about reading thousands of pages and the due date was the day after, you were just feeling overwhelmed as fortunately, Mike Ross, the “genius puppy” came in to the library for rewriting a report, then he saw you.

Basically you were under the pile of papers as you looked like you were trying to survive for tomorrow. “Are you alive?” He jokingly said to you as you two were the only ones in the library at this hour of evening. “Well, Louis Litt gave me these files and he said,” You changed your voice as mimicking Louis, “Y/N, finish them all, I need it by the morning.” He smirked at the impression you made of Louis Litt. “He can be pain in the ass.” He whispered that.

“He’ll fire you if he hears that, careful.” He smiled. “I’m Mike, by the way, Mike Ross.” You looked at him as you smiled softly. “Well, Mike Ross, you have quite a reputation around here.” He furrowed his brows. “Can’t help it, I guess I am awesome?” *He smirked and sat in front of my chair. “You are cocky. Anyways, I’m Y/N L/N.” He looked at my eyes and smiled. “Do you need any help?” He offered gently.

For once, you hesitated to say something. Because it has always been like that. You do the job, you work too hard for it but right now, a help would be appreciated. You thought. “If you are not busy, any help would highly appreciated.” you looked at him with a wave of relief.

He turned a file to himself and began to read it with full focus. That night, you ordered a pizza and read, checked all the laws and other documents. He was indeed, brilliant. As he memorized everything just by reading it, you whined sadly.

But truly, he helped you sincerely and without him you wouldn’t probably sleep at least three hours. That night a friendship began to sprouted between the two of you.

As you remembered the sweet meeting you two had, a smile formed into your face and you tossed the keys on the counter and you walked hazily to the couch. Before you could get up and went to your bedroom, the sweet sleep took you surprisingly and you drifted off to sleep.

Yeah, the snoozed alarm rang again as she woke up and looked at her phone, you realized, it was 07.50 a.m. Well you were late and you overslept! Fuck, you sweared.

Since your apartment door wasn’t that complex and big, you hurriedly moved to your bedroom and changed your clothes to something else. Usual formal outfits. Then you went to the bathroom and washed your face, brushed your teeth. Fortunately you didn’t do an eye makeup yesterday so you didn’t struggle to clean your face.

After walking back to the living room, you took the files and put it on your pack. Then you are out. You walked so fast and sweared yourself to wear heels, then you called a cab, fortunately there was an empty one.

By the time Y/N arrived to the firm, the clock showed 09.00 a.m. Well, she was 10 minutes late to the meeting but she thought she would be later than that.

After she walked out from the elevator, she looked around and ran through the hallway. As she entered the conference room, she saw Harvey and other clients. Then she heard someone calling her name. “Y/N, where have you been?”

Mike said to you in a little bit worriedly. “I’m so sorry Mike, here, the files you were searching for. Well, I have found them but it was too late so I overslept, I’m so sorry.” He thanked you quickly then entered the conference room. You caught an eye from Harvey Specter himself. You felt terrible about it, after Mike went inside, you turned your way to the associate room.

You saw Donna, as you were walking past in the hallway. “You alright?” She asked you curiously. You looked at her a bit worriedly. “I am good, why?” She looked at you emphatically. “Well, you look a little bit messy.” you closed your eyes for a moment trying to not feel embarrassed. “I overslept unfortunately.” She smiled at that expression. “It’s okay, come with me.” She looked at you sweetly.

As you followed her down to the bathroom, you saw the state you were in. Your hair looked messy and your face looked a little bit bad. “Here, have my mascara. It’ll look good on you.” Donna offered you her mascara. It was a kind gesture so you appreciated. “Thank you, Donna.” You tamed your hair and then you put a mascara on your eyes and then you put a red lipstick on your lips. You didn’t understand why she was so nice to you actually. You were associate and she was Harvey’s secretary.

“Us, girls, stick to each other.” She replied softly. You looked at her as you smiled. She looked like a cool person you thought. “So, Y/N, how have you been?” She said. “I don’t know, Louis pushing me really hard these days… How are you doing with Harvey?” She smiled. “It is always usual, now that we have Mike…” She looked at you longly. “Well, he is a copy of Harvey, so double trouble for me.” As Donna said it you giggled. “He is nice.” You said abruptly. Donna raised a knowingly eyebrow. “Nice as what?” She said it curiously.

You looked at her carefully. “He is smart and helpful so…” You bubbled the words as Donna’s gaze was on you. “That doesn’t answer my question.” You looked at her. “What was the question again?” You said it smoothly. Acting like you haven’t heard her you ignored it. She smiled. “You are cute, I think we are gonna be friends.” Donna said. Then she continued.

“I think you should talk to him about your feelings.” You looked at her confusedly. “What?” You froze for a moment. “Well, I know you harboring a crush on Mike.” Now, you looked very embarrassed and also amazed by Donna. “How did you know?” She smiled. “I’m Donna, I know everything.” She looked at you confidently. But you waved her off.

“Sorry but that would be highly unprofessional. And I have a lot on my plate.” You waved her a goodbye and you left the bathroom.

As you entered the bullpen, you walked to your desk and started to work on some paperwork. After thirty minutes, you felt someone approaching to you. It was Mike. You looked up and saw him. “Hi, how was the meeting?” He looked at you. “Well, if you hadn’t show up with the files, we couldn’t able to got them.” I looked at him sorrowfully. “I’m sorry again Mike, for being late…” He looked at me sympathetically. “It’s alright, don’t worry.”

As he began to say something else, Louis came to our side. “Ladies, let’s lower the talk and get back to actually working.” I lowered my gaze, as Mike sent my way a wink, he walked to his desk,unfortunately, Louis called after him and asked his presence for his office.

Due to all the paperwork you were writing and the case you were dealing with, you didn’t realized it was around 08.00 p.m. You stretched your back and got up from the desk.

You got up and decided it was enough for today. When you took your purse and walked to the elevator, you thought about Donna’s words. It was bold of her to assuming it and actually commenting on it. Yes, she may be right about it but it was just a silly crush. Nothing worthy of giving the thought a shot.

So you stepped out from the elevator and as you walked away from the firm, you saw Mike, as he was talking with a woman, whose had a blonde hair. She was shorter than him, tinier. They were talking briefly and as your gaze never fell out from them, the next thing you saw surprised you.

That woman’s lips were on his lips in the next minute. As you saw it, you turned your head back and closed your eyes briefly. Oh, fuck. The tears… You felt the tears brimmed sharply in your eyes. As you were too stunned about the idea of having a silly crush, had affected you this badly. That it dwelled tears in your eyes.

You sighed and quickly walked away from the sight. Great. You went inside a cab hurriedly and by the time you arrived to your place, you felt horrible. How the hell he affected you like that? Also, how could you have not see the fact that he had a girlfriend? You thought all about it. As you lay down on your bed, these messy overthinking thoughts run all over your head.

The next morning when you woke up, you put on a navy blue dress. You brushed your hair and went to bathroom to do basics of routines. After you entered your bedroom, you quickly put some jewelry and took your coat and badge.

As you were leaving your place, you called a cab and went to the firm. It was just nothing’s new.

After you stepped into the elevator and walked to your desk, everything was same. Dull and boring.

Nothing’s new. Same paperworks, reviewing case files, contacting clients and do some shit for Louis Litt.

However, you saw Rachel Zane, stepping into the bullpen and with that charming smile of hers she welcomed you. “Hey, Y/N, how’s your day?” She said softly. “Racheel.” You empathized. “It’s same as always, what’s up?” You said it. Then she leaned on you. “Harvey’s expecting you in his office. There’s a case, he would like to see you.” You felt confused for a moment. “I’m not his associate, that’s weird.” Rachel smiled.

“I guess Louis doesn’t know about it.” As she said it, you got up and giggled about her comment. “I guess so.” You replied then walked to Harvey’s office. You knocked on his door softly. “You wanted to see me?” You said softly as you walked inside, Mike was also sitting.

You didn’t glance back at him, however, you could feel his curious eyes all over you. “Okay, L/N, well, Jessica gave me a pro bono case and she asked me to work two associates on it. Since you are pretty good at what you are doing, I’m gonna give it to you and Mike.”

Then you looked at Mike, briefly. As your eyes met, you changed your glance into Harvey ever so slightly. “Okay, sir.” You said firmly. Well, what a conundrum. Yesterday night you saw Mike with a woman, as they shared a kiss and now, you’ll work him on a case. A pro bono case.

When you left Harvey’s room and walked to your desk, you sweared you were going to explode. That meant you were going to spend the day with Mike Ross. The guy you had a silly crush but turns out he had a girlfriend. What a tragedy.

As you looked at the computer in front of you, you looked so off. Then Mike approached to you slowly. “Y/N, what’s up?” He asked as he looked confused. “Nothing, shall we look at the file?” You turned your head to him and looked at him briefly. He furrowed his eyebrows but he didn’t comment on your behavior change. “Okay, so there’s this man his name is Josh Morgan, he is claiming that his wife died because of moles in their apartment.” You looked disgusted and sad. “Ugh, that must be suck.”

He agreed on that. “Okay, so let’s go and talk to him.” You said.

-

After you two came back from the client’s apartment, Mike had to debrief Harvey so, he left you. As two hours passed and both of you were in the library, looking for any complaints about other residents in the apartment, you didn’t catch Mike’s gaze on you. “What do you think about?” He said softly. You didn’t look at him as you replied with a small voice. “Nothing,” You furrowed your brows. “Something’s bothering you.”

When he said that, you looked at him immediately. “What?” You replied fast. “Did something happened? You seemed off today.” He said sympathetically. You shrugged him off with a small gesture. “It’s fine, really. I was just tired.” Yes, you were tired but he shouldn’t have known the silly feelings you had and the heartbreak you felt.

He chuckled to himself. “If I hadn’t know you better, I would have said you are sad.” You looked at him as you raised an eyebrow. “It’s bold of you to assume that, Mike.” You said it nonchalantly. Then after looking back at the papers, he was about to open his mouth but you cut him. “Here, look!” You showed him a paper. “This was a complaint they wrote back 6 years ago from Mr. Morgan’s former tenant. It says, the house was molded when they were moved in but the landlord said nothing about it and he even covered up about it.”

You showed Mike the rest of the papers, as you two got up and walked away from the library, you two planned to pay a visit to the former tenants house. You two could find something with that.

As you called a cab and headed into the building of the former tenants, the road was silent.

Mike and you got off from the car, you walked side by side. After you payed a visit and finding out what happened, turns out there was more residents felt uncomfortable with mold and their health issues.

Doing another research about the case you two were dealing with, you and Mike found a way in the case, it could turn out to be a class action.

But first, you gotta do an undercover. Well, the situation you felt wasn’t help at all but pretending his wife for an undercover investigation, well, what bad could happen? At least that’s what you thought.

You two called the apartment’s owner and set up for a meeting about the house for rent. Mike and you arrived in front of the apartment. As you two saw the landlord and stepped inside the apartment, you felt a bit uncomfortable. Knowing that there were molds inside the house, it was disgusting.

“Yeah, just like we talked. My wife and I look for a new place to move in.” As he gently squeezed your hand, you pretended to smile. “So, I believe you two are in the right place. Our houses welcomes families into a big and warm place. Where you can feel safe and comfortable.” He said effortlessly. Bastard, you thought to yourself.

“No doubt, well, her mom begged me for a change actually.” Mike said it as he smiled. “She said she didn’t want to see her daughter anymore.” You laughed at that comment, well, you felt embarrassed and also wanted to kill the man next to you that gently placed his hand on your back as he was caressing it. It felt so natural, for you to lean on his touch however, you couldn’t lose your mind. So you turned back and looked at the mirror, while you were looking at the window, you saw the radiators side of the wall.

Mike and you left the place after you finished talking and observing the place. After you left the place, you felt bad. “Did you see the mold in the radiators wall, It was ugh.” You mumbled. He agreed with you.

After you two turned back to the firm, you sent Harvey to the files. Well, there was only thing left back is that, bringing this to the court.

You waited a day, and after preparing all the paperworks and other stuff, you were ready for the hearing.

-

After that successful court hearing, the apartment owner and landlords offered a settlement and with that, you two gave the terms of your settlement and with that both of the sides were agreed and it was a good day.

You and Mike did a good job. It was like you two synced incredibly well and even Jessica agreed on it in some way you didn’t knew. However, it didn’t help the situation you were in. After that night, pretending even a slightest of his wife, it made you feel like a wreck inside.

You wished it. You wished to be his, but it would never happen anyway…

After that day, Mike offered you to go out for dinner to celebrate the win but you decided to declined it unfortunately. You said to him that you weren’t feeling well maybe of mold but that wasn’t true in slightest bit. And Mike, he was a great observant.

Nothing’s new, you thought. With your feelings about Mike and that girl you saw before, you felt green. Which you hated that.

As the shift of yours ended, you went to your house. To sleep away and maybe drink something for a little celebration. When you entered your house, you changed your dress into some causal house-fit.

After ordering a pizza from your phone, what you didn’t expect was a doorbell ringing. As you got up and went to open the door, you weren’t expecting to see Mike Ross, standing in front of your door. “Mike…” You sound confused. “What are you doing here?” You were genuinely surprised.

“We need to talk.” He said it briefly. The look of determination and worry in his eyes made you feel guilty. “Come inside.” You said softly as you gestured him inside.

Mike came inside and you looked at him. “Why are you ignoring me?” He said. You closed your eyes for a second. “I’m not.” You tried to got away from it. “Yes you are. I don’t understand, why?” As you looked at his deep blues, you felt bad. He looked desperate and hurt. “Mike, it’a complicated okay?” You said it in a whisper.

“It doesn’t matter, I wanna hear it.” He said firmly. “Did I do something wrong?” You wanted to scream yes, however you stayed still. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not about you.” You looked at him. “Then what is it?” He asked genuinely.

With hesitation, you looked at him. You felt the fear of rejection and you felt afraid of losing a friendship you two had. But you couldn’t deny it anymore. It hurt to think about it.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” You asked.

“What?” He sounded genuinely surprised. He wasn’t clearly expecting this question.

“I saw you with a girl, you two were kissing.” You said it coldly.

Ah, the look on his face as you said the words, he furrowed his brows for a moment. So it was true then, you thought.

“She isn’t my girlfriend. It’s not like that.” Now, you felt a bit angry and confused.

“What do you mean it’s not like that?” You said it bitterly. He approached to you slowly. “She is my friend-“ You cut his sentence. “So you kiss your friends like that, wow.” You said it sarcastically. He felt genuinely confused about your remark.

“Y/N, no, I-“ He paused. Then he looked at you deeply. Well with that moment you felt too anxious for your own good.

“I want you to ask something, and please be honest with me.” He said it as you felt your heart was beating very fast. “Are you in love with me?” He said like he was desperate for an answer.

You paused.

And that moment, whole of your body shivered and you felt scared. “What difference would that make if I say something?” You admitted as you lowered your gaze down. You didn’t recognized that he was approaching to you slowly.

“It would make a difference for me.” As he said it, you tilted your head up and looked at him. Now that seeing him so close to you, your cheeks blushed into a light red. “Mike, I can’t- I can’t say it.” You felt horrified, but, the way his hand caressed your cheek, you felt your legs went numb.

“She kissed me, and it meant nothing, nothing to me.” He said it with a whisper. He was looking directly into my eyes. “Because my heart is already belong to someone else but she’s too oblivious to see it.” As he said these words, your cheeks flushed more.

“And well, the woman I love is standing right in front of me but she is too afraid to admitting that she loves me too.” He smiled softly to you. When you heard his words, you closed your eyes for a minute. All of this felt like a dream, not reality.

But it was real; he was standing right there and he was indeed admitting his feelings for you. So you did an unexpected move and you kissed his lips.

As you kissed Mike’s lips, you have never felt alive like this before. Kissing his lips felt so safe, holding by him felt like as if you suddenly came home while running wildly from something else. The way your lips moved in a harmony, it felt too natural.

When you parted away, you looked at him softly. “I love you.” He grinned like a kid, as you said that three word.

Then he hugged you softly after you two shared another sweet kiss.

Well, you could’ve get used to kissing by him.

[plussizeappreciationfics]

One shot: Falling in love

Requested ? : yes by @queenoftheworldisdead

Request: Can you do Pedro pascal and plus reader? Maybe he falls for a costume designer on the set of one of his films?

Warning(s): nope

A/N: I changed it to the makeup artist if you don't mind! @queenoftheworldisdead

Image(s) found on Google/Pintersest

"He should be here any minute", Sarah, your assistant spoke as she watched you let out a long yawn before continuing to put the brushes, blushes, small bowl of fake blood and hair clips onto the table.

"He better, or else he won't need my makeup at all, I could beat his face with my bare hands" you joked while putting up your fists and pretending to punch an imaginary person. Your assistant chuckled and made a mental note to ask Pedro's assistant if they could make a tiktok video with that concept.

Before she could voice her thoughts, the door to the trailer opened and a loud "Buenas dias!" erupted through the small room, Pedro entering the trailer and quickly closing the door behind him and greeting the two of you with hugs and kisses on the cheeks.

At your turn, you couldn't help but inhale the fresh scent of his body wash and perfume. That man always smelled like he was blessed by the Gods themselves. The Chilean actor grinned at you before whispering another "Good morning, beautiful" to you, making sure that Sarah wouldn't hear his special greeting for you.

"Good morning, you're five minutes late. My time is money, Pascal" you playfully scolded while patting his back, making him give you a quick kiss on the cheeks. "I am sorry, I will be on time tomorrow", he promised and finally released you from the tight hug, not that you wanted it but it was time to get to work.

"Okay, today you're shooting a lot of fight scenes, so your face is gonna look pretty beaten and bloody", you informed to which Pedro sighed and nodded his head, knowing that today would be a physical exhausting day. Nonetheless, he loved his job and loved that he got to spend the following hour in peace and with you.

"Okay, I'll see if Denzel is ready, if he is then I'll start his makeup too" Sarah informed you. You hummed in response while focusing your eyes on the makeup you had set up, ready to be used. She nodded her head at your vocal response and quickly left the trailer, knowing that you and Pedro needed all the concentration in the world.

Once Sarah had closed the door behind her, Pedro sat down in his designated chair and removed his glasses, placing them on the table and letting out a tired sigh before focusing his gaze on you. You were standing next to him, leaning over to open the SFX makeup jar while thinking about how long and deep the first fake scar would need to look like.

"I'm really Sorry, mi amor. I overslept" Pedro's gentle voice pulled you out of your rhythm, to which you chuckled and faced him while silently admiring his beautiful face. His eyes stared deeply into your and he had this genuine look of regret on his face, his brown eyes begging you for forgiveness.

"You have nothing to worry about Pedro, I was half joking" you chuckled and patted him on his shoulder, not realizing that goosebumps had made their way across his skin at your touch, his stomach churned in delight nervousness while his heart fluttered in his chest. That man was long gone for you.

"When are we going to address this" Pedro responded, his question making you furrow your eyebrows in confusion and surprise, your heart skipping a beat as you felt like you had been caught doing something you weren't supposed to do.

"Address what?" you asked and let out a nervous chuckle, the actor's piercing and loving gaze keeping you on your toes. The tension shifted in the trailer and a part of you knew that you needed to start doing your job or else the director would get annoyed at the delay.

"How we both are hopelessly in love with one another. How I can feel your increased heartbeat whenever I hug you, how you're the first and last thing on my mind. How I know that you're not gonna allow yourself to voice your deepest thoughts about your feelings towards me because you know that falling in love with an actor is not the most convenient thing on this planet".

Pedro gave you a wide smile, his eyes sparkling while you sat there awestruck. He had read you like an open book and you felt somehow exposed but at the same time relieved because he had indeed voiced your deepest thoughts.

A shaky sigh left your lips as you broke the intense eye contact for a few seconds, needing to gather your thoughts.

"Pedro..." you sighed and looked back at him again, seeing how he leaned forwards and gently placed his hands on your thick waist, pulling you closed to him so that now you were standing in front of him.

He gently wrapped his strong arms around your waist and placed his chin on your big stomach, smiling up at you and looking so damn adorable and handsome that it made your heart skip a beat while a delicate shiver ran its way down your spine.

"I know what you're thinking. I am asking you for one date, an afternoon or evening where it's just the two of us and nobody else. No work, no coworkers just us. If you decide to not pursue your feelings and keep things professional, I will do the same", Pedro's suggestion sounded heavenly.

"Okay, one date. And then a few days time to gather my thoughts and then I'll let you know my decision" you repeated with a quick head nod, loosing the inner battle of not touching the actor and gently letting your soft hand brush through his still damp curls. The motion made the actor let out a soft sigh, already loving your touch and yearning for only more.

"Thank you. I will set everything up, all I need from you is to show up".

"Don't tell me that, I will show up in sweats and a baggy shirt" you chuckled and shook your head.

Pedro surprised you by quickly standing up, still holding you in close while a wide grin took over his face.

"I don't give a fuck how you'll dress up, I'm already blessed to know that I'll spend a few hours with you", his romantic confession made you bite back a shit-eating grin as you felt your knees weaken.

"We gotta get back to work now, or both of our asses will be served on a silver platter" you spoke and let out a sigh, wishing that this moment would never stop. You had finally gotten the confession you had been secretly been hoping and wishing for. A deep sense of peace and glee settled in your soul as you couldn't wait for the special date.

"Then let's get back to work, but not before this-" Pedro surprised you by leaning forward and stealing a soft, gentle kiss from your lips. The delicateness of his motion making your head spin while your lips tingled with glee. You gasped at the sensations and pushed the actor back in his seat, making him let out a chuckle while you shook your head and finally got to work on his face.

[its-in-the-woods]

Chapter 2 of down the rabbit hole

Chapter one here chap three

MDNI

Pairing: Walton Goggins x You

Rating: Not much for this, brief mention of SA, mention of alcohol.

Slow build like novel damn length okay, Very Fluffy, Pinch of Angst, Relationship Development, Hurt/Comfort, Older man/ Younger(30s) women, Alternative universe, fictional work (IDK WHY BUT I AM PUTTING IT) Probably more as I go.

Synopsis: Working in film as a make-up artist is hard enough, but then Walton Goggins requests you, well it's way too easy to fall down the rabbit hole.

Note: they are both single, all for fun.

WARNING I do not have this all written out, I do have it plotted out, but it may be a little slower for chapters to come out. Please bear with me. If you know a Beta to edit please send them to me.

*Before we get into things. Thank you 100x for all the love. It means the world to me*

Somehow four weeks have slipped by. As always, TV series runs like a machine on fire while driving through a snowstorm. Long days, and even longer nights. You wonder briefly why you chose a profession that meant you average four to five hours of sleep. But then Walton brings the whole trailer their favorite coffee and you just shrug the thought off. Working with the cast and crew was like being in one big dysfunctional family. One part hated each other, one part was fucking each other, and another part just held on for the ride. You liked to think you were in the last group, but sometimes when you caught Liz glowering at you, you wondered if maybe you were in the first group. 

“Why does she hate me?” You ask Trevor as you try to eat lunch. Fish wasn’t your first choice but it’s what they had had. 

“Who?” Trevor asks, munching on some strawberries, how the man ate as much as he did and remained tiny was amazing. 

“Liz.” You sigh moving your fork around the plate.

“Liz hates everyone, don’t take it personally.” He grabbed a couple more pieces of fruit. 

“Have you seen the way she looks at me? Like, why bring me onboard if she was just gonna avoid me like the plague?”

“She’s jealous of you.”

You turn and raise your eyebrows at him. “What are you talking about?”

Trevor lets out a snort and chomps down on some cheese. “Girl. Don’t play down your talents. You have worked your damn ass off to get here. One of the best makeup artists out there and Liz knows it. Why do you think Mr. Goggins likes you so much?”

You shrug and pick through your food, the fish was not sitting particularly well. “I am not better than anyone else.”

Trevor swats at you playfully, “Shut up. You can wrangle through asshole actors like no one else. You take zero shit from anyone and you get stuff done on time or before they are needed. You’ll be one of the most valued artists in town in no time.” He chuckles and pushes his own plate away. “Just make sure you bring me along with you.”

You grin back at him. Trevor had never jerked you around like most others. He was right, you did a good job and people appreciated your blatant lack of kiss assery. You fiddle with your fork for a moment before deciding that you had enough for the day. 

***

It was Thursday, which meant the week was almost over. The end was in sight and your bed was calling your name. You’d probably sleep the weekend away and indulge in some overpriced Chinese food. Your thoughts about sweet and sour pork are broken when someone announces they are coming in. Liz walks in and looks you up and down. Dear god, that woman has a chip on her shoulder. She went and pulled out a couple of empty totes. 

“It’s going to be you and Trevor tomorrow and the following week.” She says her lips pressed firmly together, as she talks she goes through drawers grabbing different products.  “Walton is here doing some scenes, Laura will also be here but she shouldn’t be on camera. If she is, I've emailed you notes and pictures.”

You nod, not bothering to look at her as you continue to wash your brushes. Liz continued to add to her bin.  “Sounds good.”

“Look, I know we haven’t been exactly- Friendly.” You turn to look at the woman, she is putting the lid on to the tote. Writing info on a sheet of paper on the top. “But, you do a good job. The director has been very happy with everything. “

“Thank you.” You reply, giving her a small smile. “I appreciate that Liz.”

Liz nods back at you and grabs the tote, waddling out the door. It’s probably the closest you’ve come to liking her. You sit there for a moment, taking in the compliment, maybe things are changing for the better. 

***

Friday is here, and you decided to bring some timbits to celebrate the end of the week. The usually bustling studio lot was quiet. Construction and Set Dec had busied themselves with various other needs. It was refreshing to have a little quiet. You had even been able to park your car right beside the trailer. As much as you loved the absolute chaos that was a film set, the calm was a nice balm. You knew that before long you would miss the chaos, and it would be back with vengeance. 

Laying things out you felt like you could breathe. You had put on some gothic country on the stero, something that only you and Trevor really enjoyed. Both of you had moved from rural areas to do your job. It was another reason why you enjoyed his company. Trevor had set himself up on the second workspace, the two of you spreading out a little while the boss was away. 

“Hello. Lady and gentleman,” Walton’s voice shrill as he came up the stairs. The man was a never-ending ball of energy. You were positive you could do a month of night shooting and he still would come in chipper as if it was his first day. 

“Hey Walt,” Trevor said with a grin, it was hard not to be happy around the man.

“Excited for the weekend?” You ask as you drape him with a cape, popping off his sunglasses and grabbing his other glasses off the counter. As he rereads some lines. 

“I sure am. It feels like it’s been an extra long week.” He sighed, rubbing at his hazel eyes before grabbing a timbit. “These things are delicious, I am going to steal the whole box..” 

You slap playfully at his hand.“Hey now! Make sure I get a few” He gives you a crooked smile and holds one up. You don’t hesitate to lean forward and let him feed it to you. He swallows and looks up at you, as the realization dawns on you as to what you just did. 

“Well-Umm- Next week doesn’t look to bad,” Trevor pipes, shooting you a look, his voice squeaking slightly.

“This is true, just the three of us enjoying a few short days,” Walton says, you are desperately trying to move past what just happened as you grab a moisturizer and apply it gently. His eyes follow you.

“I can certainly say I will enjoy not having to drive all over the place.” You reply, trying not to let your cheeks flush. Reminding yourself sternly that you were a professional and for Pete’s sake you’d been working together for over a month now. 

“You have the craziest eyes.” He whispers as the two of you look at each other. There is no way of hiding the fact your cheeks are burning. Trevor graciously comes over and starts to fuss with his hair. 

“Thank you,” You reply, words caught in your throat. Turning to start packing your set bag, anything to hide the fact that you were bright red. You look up to see Trevor raising his eyebrows at you. You look away and finish things up before sending Walton off to set.

“What was that?” Trevor drawled as he slid into the chair, the look on his face made you want to crawl under the counter. 

“What was what?” You try to dismiss things even if your face is on fire. What the hell had just happened?

“He just fed you a damn donut hole and you are blushing all over Goggins?” Trevor pushes fiddling with a comb, and you really want to throw something at him. 

You freeze a bit and look up at him in the mirror. “Don’t do that.” 

“Do what? See the fact that you two have been goggling over each other for the last four weeks. You just ate food out of his fingers. Wait what does he taste good?’

You do throw a powder puff at him. “You. You stop it. I don’t know what the hell I was doing. It just kind of happened.” 

Yes, you had noticed the little things, but really the man was friendly with everyone. He had always been touchy-feely, but maybe there had been more that you had missed, including eating food out of his fingers. You remember him kissing you on the cheek yesterday morning before leaving. But there couldn’t be anything there, there was nothing there you repeated to yourself. 

“Oh give me a break. He brings you coffee and touches, and kisses your cheek every day. The man has been fawning all over you.”

You bite your lip and turn to look at your colleague, ‘He does that with everyone, Trevor. He’s just friendly.”

You’re now madly stuffing stuff into your bag trying to get out of this newly warm trailer. Trevor snorts and puts his things into his bag. You wish he would drop it, but he was never good at leaving things alone. 

“You keep telling yourself that, sweetheart,” He giggles in an imitation Southern drawl. The two of you hop out of the trailer. You aren’t sure whether to smack him or hug him, either way, there is a job to be done. 

***

It was a textbook day, Walton had nailed almost everything. The man could act there was no doubt about that. The character was a belligerent drunk detective trying to solve a cold case. The script was dark, moody, and well horrible. You didn’t shy away from horror, but true crime always made your stomach flipflop. Your stomach also flipped as you watched Walton go from looking like he was gonna bite someone's head off, to all smiles and laughter. 

You, Trevor, and Walton are walking back to the trailer together. It was actually sunny out, a rare moment for the Pacific Northwest. Costumes had been busy with some extras so you decided to start with him and finish with the others. 

“So do you two have any plans for the weekend?” Walton asks, walking in between both of you.

“I think I might have a date on Saturday,” Trevor replied cheerfully. 

“Oooh and who's the lucky fella?” Walton sing-songed.

Trevor looked flush for a moment, “Decon, from props actually.”

Walton chuckles elbowing Trevor “Well that sounds like an excellent Saturday. Man is gonna have some fun.”

Trevor shakes their head and rolls his eyes “He better show or I am going to have to send you both after him”

Walton bares his teeth and growls, which send everyone into a fit of giggles. Decon be aware, there was a madman coming for you. You thought as you get to the trailer opening the door.

“And what about you, little lady,” Walton drawls, that damn southern accent creeping in. 

“Nothing special. Think sleep and Chinese food are calling my name.” You reply as everyone settles in. Really that would be the best way to end the weekend. 

“Oh, Chinese food sounds amazing.” Trevor pipes in, turning on some tunes. 

“Who needs sleep, it's not that important.” Walton chides as you get to work. “I was wondering if you both would like to come to a small bar not far from here. Transport can drive us there and back, a few of us are getting together for some drinks.”

You catch Trevor's gaze, a sly smile spreading across his face. “Oh, I would love that! Little get-together with our mess of a family.”

“What about you?” The lead asks, rubbing your arm. His hands are warm, you’re surprised to feel a few calluses on his fingers. 

“Oh. Yeah sure. That would be good.” You give a small smile, trying not to let your mind wander too far. If you were honest, the prospect of getting together with a bunch of coworkers was low on your want list. But the look on Trevor's face tells you that you aren't allowed to say no. Your stomach clenches as the memory of a wrap party gone wrong rumbles past your mind. You push that down. It had been almost seven years since that happened, these were different people. People you knew and trusted.

“Fantastic, I am excited to have you both there,” Walton exclaims before closing his eyes to let you finish your job. 

Once Walton is released to Costume, you and Trevor busy yourself with cleaning the trailer. Getting extras cleaned up and making sure everything is ready for the early morning come Monday. You can tell Trevor has been watching you but you can't make yourself say anything. Anxiety has pooled in your stomach like a cold stone and you are struggling to shake it.

“What's wrong?” Trevor asks bluntly sitting down in a free chair. You shake your head and keep your hands moving.

“Come on now. I've never seen you get this clammed up over an invitation to a party. To be fair I've actually never seen you go to a party–” Trevor’s words trail off realization washing over his face. “I know you like your peace, and quiet, but what is going on”

You collapse into the other chair with a deep sigh. Trying to find the words, you really didn't want to explain things too much. That said if there was anyone who'd understand it be Trevor.

“When I first got into the industry.” Your mouth feels so dry even at the thought of it. You grab your water bottle taking a swig.“I went to a wrap party. Got drunk and a guy from Sound took advantage of me. So I've never gone to one since.”

Trevor looks shocked, sadness creeping in at the words. “Hon.That is awful.”

“It happened almost a decade ago. It's fine. Just makes me nervous.” You let out a breath. You weren't going for sympathy, despite it being the worst night of your life, all you wanted was understanding.

Trevor comes over and gives you a big hug. You feel tears prickle in the corner of your eyes. As you let yourself sag against him. You were so thankful for this man, that he was understanding and seemed to care about you. 

“Honey, nothing like that is gonna happen to you tonight. We'll go together and enjoy ourselves. And if any man or woman tries to hurt you I will beat them with my handbag” Trevor reassures you with a small smile. You both chuckle at the last statement 

You sniffle a little, grabbing a tissue from the counter to dab at your eyes. “Thank you, Trevor”

He gives you a reassuring nod as you both get ready to go out. You were determined to make it a good night one way or another. 

Chapter three

Maybe.. maybe.. I will post the next chapter tomorrow cause I am too excited not to share it. Likes, comments, and reblogs are so greatly appreciated. Y'all keep this northern person happy.

[sturnad]

NIGHT SHIFT p3

Pairing: y/n and Chris Sturniolo

Summary: a girl that just started working in a local cafe in her small town and a boy who just moved into her town because of his dads job.

Warnings: none

During the summer break i saw Chris a lot of times, he always or smiled or waved at me. And I ALWAYS got flustered just by his look.

-

Tomorrow is school.. FINALLY!! I will get to see Chris every day and hopefully we end up in the same class.

-

The next morning

School started at 7:30 so i got up at 5:45 to get ready. I didnt usually wake up this early but it is the first day so I kinda had to.

I rolled out of my bed and stretched. I yawned while walking to the bathroom half asleep. I turned the water on and I let my hands drown in it. It was so warm on such a cold morning, all i wanted to do is go to sleep but I couldnt so I snapped out of it and opened my eyes fully. I quickly striped my clothes off and got into the shower. I quickly showered and shaved really quickly, while I was in the shower I also brushed my teeth and cleansed the shit out of my face.

I got out and soaked up the water from my body with a clean towel. I quickly ran to my room and dressed up. *The outift*

After i dressed up i went to my vanity and did my skincare and makeup.

I put on tons of smells. Deodorant, lotion, bodymist, perfume.. It was all vanilla scented. I even showered in a vanilla scented body wash.

6:55

I packed my bags for school and took my headphones.

Before I left my house i quickly shoved a gum in my mouth before locking the door.

7:05

I sat down in the bus, listening to the music that was blasting through my headphones.

Suddenly I felt a wave of mens perfume hit me, I turned my head around to see that it was Chris. I smiled at him and waved him over.

The girls were drooling over Chris even though thats the first time they ever saw him (but who could blame them honeslty..). Some even invited Chris to sit next to them and when he sat down next to me they had the disappointed face on.

He sat down next to me and smiled..

"Hii, I love your outfit y/n" he stared.

"Thanks Chris, you look nice too" he smiled as I spoke.

While we talked i spotted a few eyes on us from behind but I just ignored them all.

After some yapping we finally arrived.

7:20

We walked together into the school and once again the girls were all over Chris. IT WAS KILLING ME INSIDE but I decided to play it off.

"I guess youre the popular guy huh?" i nudge his shoulder. He chuckles and shakes his head off.

I looked around and suddenly I felt a rush of anxiety run through my body because of all the looks people were giving me and Chris. I also heard some girls say:

"Ew does she really think he would wanna be with her?"

"Hes so hott"

"She doesnt have a chance with him hahaha"

"Do you think hes a good kisser?"

I just took deep breaths as I still felt everyones gaze on me and Chris.

Chris shruged my shoulder "you okay?"

I quickly got my mind together and responded: yeah.. im okay..

Chris nodded but still looked a bit concerned.

We got to our lockers and got our things ready for our the first class. We separated our ways since we thought were not even gonna be together in classes. I got to my class and I sat down. When a couple of minutes passed by I saw Chris walking towards me.

"What are you doing here?" i smiled as he sat down next to me

"I guess we are together" i smiled slightly even though i was filled with excitement and happiness.

-

Since it was a first day we didnt learn anything we just got our schedules and talked about our summer break.

-

1st and 2nd class finished and it was time for lunch.

I found my friends in the hallway and walked to the cafeteria with them. We sat down behind a table that was facing the table Chris was sitting behind. Chris also sat down behind his table and a group of popular boys from a soccer team joined him. He smiled even though he didnt really know what was going on. I saw some girls from a cheerleader team also sit there. I was furious. How could he be so popular i thought as i bit into my apple.

"y/n! hello!!" my friend snapped her fingers into my face.

"are you even with us?" she said.

"yeah just got a bit distracted sorry.." i replied.

"what? is it that new boy, whats his name... Chris? Right?" she smiled. "hes so fine" the other friend added.

I was so mad i just wanted to punch them all in the face but I got my act together and just nodded.

-

After school I was outside waiting for my bus to come.

I sat down in the same seat i was sitting in the morning and once again Chris sat down next to me. For some reason I was so mad at him i didnt even wanna talk to him but he didnt even do anything.

As he sat down i just looked at the window and didnt say anything.

"Omg I met this girl-" he started talking. I was this close to telling him I liked him but it was all gone. I thought he felt the same way about me. I rolled my eyes at him as he continued talking about that girl and I knew exactly who she was. Shes the popular girl at school that fucked almost every single boy in the school.

I nodded to Chris and didnt mention anything to him about her since I wanted him to find out himself.

The bus got to my house and I just rushed out, without a goodbye.

-

While I was getting ready for my ice skating practice I got a notification..

I opened it and it was from instagram. I opened the requests and saw that girl texted me.

Melanie

Leave my Chris alone before I beat you up.

Me

Your Chris? You said that about half the male population in this school that you fucked so you should be fucking ashamed of yourself, whore.

I sighed as i pressed sent. I got ready for my practice and I checked my phone for the last time before i left. That whore left me on seen. Of course thats what she always did when someone put her in her place.

I smiled to myself and left the house.

-

OKAY WTF. IM REALLY SORRY THIS IS SO BAD AND SHORT IM GONNA CRY.

if theres any mistakes please do not mind them this was kinda rushed.

I know its not even that good im really sorry but part 4 is coming soon, ily all and thanks for the support and btw requests are open please request anything!

TAGS:

@imwetforyourmom @slut4mattsturn

@junnniiieee07 @uhnanix @pxndaaa

@thebottledwatersupplier @h3arts4harry

@venusxsturnio @sturdav

[britswriting]

Fallen For You H.S | AU - Seven

Fallen For You Masterlist - find description here

Read on Wattpad

Rancher!Harry x Plus-sized!OC

🦋Delaney🦋

I was pleasantly surprised when the weekend went by without a hitch, and I knew that was all thanks to Harry; whether he wanted to hear it or not, we wouldn't have survived without his help.

I walked into the barn where Harry and my dad were working surprisingly well together only to see my dad in there alone.

"Hey" I announced my presence, my dad appearing to be cleaning one of the stables.

"Good morning, Lane" Dad replied back, not bothering to turn and look at me.

"Hey, uh.. where's Harry?" 

"He left this morning. He had something to do, he'll be back tomorrow morning" Dad replied, shuffling something around in the stable before the sound of a broom brushing against the floor was heard again.

The past few weeks, every Sunday Harry has disappeared and came back Monday morning getting straight to work.

I knew he had asked for at least one day off, which is completely fine and makes total sense. Everyone deserves a break, I just didn't expect him to be gone overnight for his break.

My brain couldn't help but spiral.

Was he seeing someone? Was he at his girlfriend's house? Did he have a whole other family? Did he have his own place? His own things? His own food? It would make sense why he was so weird about us buying him groceries, but how could he just leave that all for a week without so much as uttering a word to us?

Monday morning I argued with myself in the bathroom mirror over the fact that I willingly woke up early to get dressed for a man who seems to not give a fuck about me.

I mean honestly, who gets up before the sun just to curl their hair and apply makeup and make sure their outfit looks cute just for a guy! 

Stupid, stupid Delaney!

I ran my hands through my dark loosely curled hair, my fingers separating some of the curls, applying another layer of mascara; double checking that I didn't have lipstick on my teeth before pulling my jean shorts up a bit more on my waist.

I stared into my brown eyes in the mirror, looking at myself completely done up for a man who could have an entire family somewhere else in this world that he left every Sunday to see.

Stupid, stupid Delaney!

My eyes began to burn as they started to blur; my quick blinking to prevent tears from falling wasn't working as they began to free fall down my artificially blushed cheeks, wrecking my still wet, fresh, mascara.

You're so fucking stupid, Delaney! 

My shoulders slumped as I pulled open a drawer, yanking out a makeup wipe and proceeded to start wiping off all my effort.

First went the lipstick.

This was so fucking stupid. Why the fuck did I do this?

Then the foundation.

I could've been asleep this entire time! 

Then the eyebrows followed by the mascara.

He's not even going to fucking care, nor notice! I not only wasted makeup, but my time and effort! All of this shit could've gone towards a job interview! A family reunion! A date for god sake! 

I stared at my bright red, assaulted, skin; dark mascara still under my eye, smears of lipstick left behind, telling me I needed another makeup wipe.

My eyes burned as the tears settled in my waterline.

I looked date ready, and maybe that's what hurt? Knowing I looked date ready for a man who would never want to date me.

I washed my face with water and a cleanser before grabbing a hair tie and throwing my hair up into a now high, loosely curled ponytail.

I leaned back against the wall, my dark circles from lack of sleep, and the mascara residue staring me in the face.

Pulling off my expensive plain white shirt that had pretty lace detailing on the cuffs of my sleeves left me in a white, lacey bra; I groaned.

This was so fucking stupid.

Unclipping the fancy bra, I tossed it to the ground, ignoring the way my boobs fell and weighed down my chest as I entered my bedroom, grabbing a simple nude, plain bra and a loose t-shirt.

Stupid stupid stupid Delaney! 

I wiggled out of my stupid skin tight shorts, grabbing some loose, easy to move in jeans that had wide, baggy hole's in the knees.

The sun was starting to rise, and I knew Harry would already be out this morning taking care of the animals and I felt like I was going to be sick.

I just wasted two hours on a man just to wipe it all off because of my stupid impulsive decisions! I could've just left it all on, said fuck him, and felt good about myself all day, but nooooo, I got insecure and wiped it all off and wasted it! I didn't even take a fucking picture!

Stupid stupid Delaney! 

I ran my hands over my face, a strangled noise coming from my throat before I took a deep breath, grabbing my phone ready to hopefully get through today.

All day I avoided Harry the best I could. 

I couldn't face the fact of what I had done this morning, knowing damn well this man didn't want me. Along with the fact that he could have an entirely different family and I refuse to be a homewrecker! Or.. or.. or.. I don't know! Anything that will paint me in a bad light! I didn't need the drama. 

I got home from the market, my dad having called me asking me for help in the barn.

Walking in, Sassy trailing behind me like she owned the damn place, loudly meowing for attention; my father happily scooping her up and saying hello.

Spoiled brat.

My dad informed me that the horses needed their trail ride today before leaving Harry and I alone in the barn.

I stared at Harry's back, knowing I had to ask him for help, but deeply regretting ever needing him to begin with.

At least I wasn't wearing a lacy shirt, red lipstick and a probably crooked liner.

"Uh, hey.. how's it going?" I asked him, Harry bent over pulling bags of horse grain from a crate, placing it on the floor.

"Fine" he gruffly replied,  pulling another large bag of grain out of the crate, tossing it next to the other two.

I nodded — even though he couldn't see me, trying to think quick on my feet to not let what now felt like awkward silence, at least to me, linger longer than necessary.

"Are you busy?" I stupidly asked, regretting it immediately.

"Yes" he replied instantly, my head falling back on my shoulders as my eyes closed.

Of course he's fucking busy Delaney! He's literally doing a task right now!

"I uh.. are you able to help me with the horses?" I quickly spit out, "My dad has to go back to the Rickman's" Harry froze, his muscles visibly tensing, "And the horses need to go on their trail ride, I just.. normally Morgan, or Wrenlynn help me, but uh.. well" I stumbled, my anxious racing thoughts no long becoming coherent in my brain.

"I don't ride horses" He firmly replied, grunting as he picked up one of the horse feed bags, his boots thudding against the concrete as he walked over to the ladder, impressively, yet scaring the shit out of me, climbing it with one hand as the other held the feed.

I watched intently, afraid of him acting all macho and then falling off and busting his skull open.

I couldn't help myself but call out, "But you're a rancher?" knowing damn well I should've left it alone, but I was confused by how someone who works on a farm doesn't ride horses?

Harry didn't reply, in fact, it seemed as if he was ignoring my entire existence, shuffling around stuff on the loft, "Harry?" I called out again, standing far enough away that I could watch him moving the bags of grain around, acting like it was as easy as tossing a throw blanket into a ball on the floor. I sighed, "Harry, how can you not ride horses? You're a rancher" I stated the obvious again, wishing this man would open up more so I could simply understand his stiff and stern reactions. "Look, I wouldn't have asked if I knew it was a firm no; it's just we need to do it, and everyone else is busy, and it's a lot to do by myself. I was just asking for help is all, but if you can't, or don't want to, fine" I turned on my heel, walking towards Baylor, my all black Shire horse, grabbing my brush to clean his coat before braiding his mane, wanting to prevent tangles and matting whilst we worked when I heard Harry say directly behind me, "Can't you wait for your father to be back?" making me jump due to the close proximity.

"He's booked solid helping the town, Harry. It's fine, it'll just take me longer" I replied, running my hand down Baylor's side.

I grabbed my step stool, taking the two steps up before draping a blanket over his back, fitting the saddle over the blanket. I made sure nothing was too tight or too lose, and that the blanket was lose yet snug in all the right areas. Grabbing my lead, I begun to lead Baylor out of the stables, hoisting myself up and over when Harry asked, "This is your horse?"

"This is my baby—" 

"Baby nothing. That horse is bigger than you are!" He declared, my brow furrowing. 

"That's the point" 

"What?" 

"That's the point. A big girl needs a big horse. I like that he's big. I like that I feel safe and secure on him, even at my height and weight. He's a gentle giant" 

Harry appeared perplexed before shaking his head followed by saying, "My job is to help you, but I don't ride horses"

"May I ask why?"

"No" he replied instantly, my body stilling like someone had dumped cold water over my head.

 Oh.

Why?

"Alright well, I need to get started. If you need anything.... I'm sure you can find someone" I unintentionally huffed, giving Baylor his command to start walking down the driveway.

I got halfway down the road when a loud, "FINE! I'LL HELP!" made my head turn over my shoulder, Harry standing a good fifty, sixty feet from me with his arms crossed over his chest just staring at my horse's butt.

I stopped Baylor, getting us to turn around and face Harry, calling back, "NO ONE IS FORCING YOU!" my hand running down Baylor's neck.

"DO YOU WANT MY HELP OR NOT?!"

Baylor and I got back to barn after Harry just stared at us; Harry watching me slide down my horse, tying him to the barn post so I could grab the horse Harry would use, "So what changed your mind?" I asked, clearly having a death wish, silently praying he didn't decide then and there to leave me yet again in the dust.

"It's my job to help you" 

Ah. Yes. He's here because he has to be.

"Alright well, this is Tina" I showed Harry our Morgan horse, Harry scowling.

"I'm aware of your horses, Delaney"

"I know. This is your horse today. You said you don't ride horses, and she's really good for beginners" I ran my hand down her neck before starting to saddle her.

"Who names their horse Tina?"

"Don't disrespect Tina" I warned, "And Wren did"

"Of course she did" he scoffed, arms laid over one another across his chest.

I moved my mouth closer to Tina's ear, whispering, "Don't listen to him" 

I could practically feel Harry's nerves seeping out of him as I grabbed his protective gear.

I held out a helmet for him, Harry just starting at it before slowly taking it and placing it on his head. He clipped the buckle under his chin and I grinned.

"I look stupid, don't I" he stated, rather than asked, huffing slightly as my grin widened.

"You look great" I laughed, his eyes rolling. "Have you ever ridden a horse?" I asked, Harry nodding, staring at Tina like she was some alien. "When's the last time you rode a horse?" my curiosity piqued, the senseful part of my brain ignoring the blaring alarms telling me to shut up and leave him alone and just be thankful he is actually helping me.

Instead of replying, he asked, "Won't I break her?" making me snicker, shaking my head.

"Nope"

"But your horse is ginormous?" He frowned, tugging at my heartstrings as he appeared like a little boy afraid to learn to ride a bike.

"Shouldn't that make you more afraid?" I asked, Harry's head snapping over to look at me.

"I'm not afraid" he stated, sounding offended that I would even utter such thing.

Yeah, okay.

Tina was saddled up, and I led her out of the barn, handing her off to Harry before hopping up onto Baylor, waiting for Harry to do the same.

I watched Harry stand still, staring at Tina, his eyes closing for a moment before watching him take a deep breath.

Oh. This is more serious than I thought.

I watched as he hoisted himself up onto the horse; I could practically see him shaking in his boots from here.

I started to lead Baylor back down the driveway, assuming that once we got going Harry would be fine. I poked my head back around my shoulder, Harry still just sat on Tina by the barn.

"Come on slowpoke!" I called out, teasing.

I continued down the driveway, stopping to wait for Harry, only to see he was still by the barn.

I went back to the barn, hoping off Baylor and tying him to the barn again then walking over to Harry, smiling. 

"Hi" I grinned, Harry's eyes narrowed at me, "Need help?" I asked, not able to wipe the smug smile off my face. "Haven't ridden a horse before?" I asked, my tone slightly teasing, "Hm, figured you would've since you're a rancher and all" I giggled, rubbing my hand down the top of Tina's nose.

Harry's nostrils flare as he goes to get off, confusing Delaney

"Where are you going?" I asked, frowning.

"I'm not going"

"Why?"

"You're making fun of me. I have better shit to do anyway" He huffed, getting off the horse, beginning to walk away.

 I knew I was teasing him, but it was all in good fun! I didn't think he'd actually get upset! 

"I'm only making fun of you a little!" I call after him, snickering as my fingers pinched together, referencing my words. "I'll help you! Come back, please! I really need to get the horses out" I begged, guilt consuming me at the idea of having upset him. "Harry! I'm sorry!" I called after him, quickly jogging to him, my hand reaching out for his arm.

My fingers grasped his bicep, surprised by how warm his skin was, Harry still walking, ignoring my attempts at stopping his strides.

"Harry! Please!" 

"I offered to help you, and you made fun of me"

"I know, I'm sorry! I didn't think you'd actually get upset!" 

He turned quickly on his heel, facing me as I halted to a spot, "Why wouldn't I? I don't ride horses for a good reason and you made fun of me! Do you know how sick and twisted that is, Delaney?"

"But.. but I didn't mean to hurt you! I just.. you're a rancher Harry and you don't ride horses! It's a little comical. I'm sorry, please" I begged, "If I knew how serious it was, I wouldn't have done that, I promise!" I could feel my heartbeat in my ears as desperation crawled out of me, wishing I could take back everything.

"I don't appreciate being made fun of" He said, turning around, back enroute to his house.

"I'm sorry! Harry, please, stop!" I cried out, tired of chasing this man all over the ranch. "You know what? Fine! Pout! I didn't know it was this serious!" I yelled, my frustration staring to bubble over, "You know, maybe I wouldn't have made fun of you if you would've just been honest with me in the first place instead of keeping everything locked away! God, I try and I try and you just.. you just.. you ignore me! And you know what? Maybe that's my fucking fault for caring and shit, but YOU'RE A GROWN ASS MAN! Act like it!" I yelled, feeling eyes surround me.

My chest was moving rapidly and I quickly moved my head to see that all the animals were looking at me.

Great.

I ran back to Baylor and Tina, grabbing Tina and leading her back into the barn to take all her stuff off until I was ready for her again, tears flowing freely down my cheeks as I choked on a sob or two.

This day has been a disaster from start to finish, and I was sick and tired of it.

I was tired of constantly walking on eggshells, feeling like I can't freely express myself down to just making a joke. If he would've told me how serious it was, I would've taken him more seriously! Just telling someone "I don't ride horses" when you're a rancher sounds stupid! Why wouldn't I have thought he was just being an asshole to be an asshole? Somehow me reading him wrong has me crying yet again like it's my fault! If he would've just been honest I would've helped him.

I wiped at my face, pulling myself together before getting back on Baylor, very much so needing this trail ride for my own mental health rather than just exercising the horse.

"Delaney" Harry's rough, flat voice said, my head dropping low.

"What, Harry?"

"I apologize for not being honest with you." He said, getting my head to lift, turning to face him. "I don't ride horses anymore" He emphasized.

"Let me guess, I can't ask why" I huffed, tired of the back and forth.

His head shook, "I'd rather not talk about it, no" 

"Okay, well. Thanks for apologizing, I guess"

I commanded Baylor to start walking when Harry stopped me again.

I groaned, stopping Baylor.

"You know Harry, I could've been done already. If you don't want to help, you could've just told me. I need to get this done. I have a lot of stuff to do today. I asked for your help because I figured you'd actually be helpful" I huffed.

I swear he flinched, his jaw clenching as he nodded.

"Sorry for disappointing you then" His voice was monotonous with a hint of sarcasm and... disappointment? 

Shit.

"That's not what I meant" I groaned, my entire body wanting to just crumple into a ball on the floor.

"No, Delaney. It's exactly what you meant" He glared.

"No it's not—" I quickly defended, wishing I could just shut up and let him be mad at me; it would be a hell of a lot easier than bickering with him.

"Sounded pretty fucking crystal clear to me" He interrupted, frustrating me further.

"Goddammit Harry, will you just shut up for two seconds! That's not what I meant! I'm tired, I'm frustrated, and I have a lot to do! I swear I can't say anything without you getting mad at me and it's tiring!"

"You asked me for help!" His voice raised, nostrils flaring slightly before he took a deep breath, rolling back his shoulders, his Adam's apple visibly bouncing as he swallowed.

"I thought you'd be helpful!"

"I'm trying!"

"How?! You stop me every time I try to make progress!"

"I haven't ridden a horse in almost two decades, Delaney! I want to help you, I just don't remember how exactly" He grumbled, his hand moving up to brush against the tip of his nose before falling to his side and pulling at the end of shirt, attempting to straighten it out more, followed by running his hands through his hair, a few pieces falling down against his forehead.

"You could've just said that, you know. I would've helped and we could've avoided this entire song and dance you like to put us through" I huffed yet again, wishing I could strangle and kiss him all at the same time.

"My job is to help you. My job is to do what I'm asked. I.." he paused, chewing on his lip for a second, his eyes narrowing, "I can't do my job, when I don't know the task"

My head tilted, "Why do you view everything as a task?" I asked, brow furrowing as I licked my lips, rolling them.

"You assigned me the task"

"No," My head shook, "I asked for help" 

"Same thing"

"No Harry, it isn't. We're doing the task together. I just.. I don't understand why everything feels like a game to you? How many times do I have to tell you that this ranch is a team effort? I don't expect you to know everything! Or to get everything done in one day! If you're afraid of horses, or don't know how to ride a horse, you could've just said that. I wouldn't have pushed you any further, or made fun of you; I could've helped you if you had told me. Can you please, please, stop viewing me as the enemy? I'm trying here, Harry and you just keep shoving me away! It's frustrating, and tiring, and honestly? I'm getting sick of it"

"I haven't ridden a horse since I was ten" he said abruptly, shutting me up.

"What?"

"I haven't ridden a horse since I was ten" he repeated.

"Yeah, no, I heard you the first time. Explain further please?"

"No"

"No? Harry—"

"Stop! Stop pushing all the goddamn time! You want to talk frustrating?! That's frustrating! You act entitled, like you deserve to know everything! I'm starting to miss when you were quiet, overthinking to yourself. You don't need to know everything, Delaney. You say I keep playing games with you, then what is this? I tell you something and you just can't leave it alone!"

"I'm just trying to understand you better" My voice cracked, my chest feeling heavy as I watched him glare at me.

"Well don't. Just teach me how to ride this damn horse so I can get this over with" he roughly replied, walking towards the barn, his back to me once again.

I took a deep breath, attempting to collect my spiraling emotions.

 I'm starting to miss when you were quiet, overthinking to yourself.

Trust me, I hear you loud and clear this time. 

"Come on slowpoke!" Harry called out, my eyes widening slightly as the burn intensified.

Did he just...?

* * * * 

Harry shaved his head. This was not on my 2023 bingo card.

I would've had this out sooner, but I redid the entire chapter twice..

Written on: November 3rd, 7th, 10th 2023

Published on: November 10th 2023

Word Count: 3729

Part Eight - coming soon

[g1rls-g1rl]

ੈ✩‧₊˚night routine 4-9:30pmੈ✩‧₊˚

4:00✧.*

unpack your bag!! once your home from school unpack your backpack and get out your homework.

4:10✧.*

make a snack!! a healthy snack with a big glass of water to fuel yourself for the rest of the day.

4:30✧.*

do your homework!! i know you don't want too but do it even if its not due for a week its better to get it out of the way, for every 20 minutes of homework you do take a 5 minute break for yourself.

5:15✧.*

complete your chores!! if you have any jobs or chores complete them now so you can relax later, if not help start on dinner

5:45✧.*

eat!! have a nice full dinner, a warm one would be best to help you feel sleepy. have a nice dessert after u deserve it.

6:15✧.*

tidy!! clean up your room, a clean space makes everything a lot easier.

6:35✧.*

journal!! either bullet journalling or just writing down some thoughts can make you feel better, put on some relaxing music or a nice show.

7:00✧.*

shower!! a nice everything shower, a cold one to feel refreshed or a hot one to feel relaxed. have a good shower routine and after shower routine.

7:45✧.*

wash your face!! cleanse your face, its tedious but going to sleep with makeup on could mess with your skin, do your skincare after at least 1 hour before you sleep so it could sink in, i suggest icing your face every nigh to calm down acne and redness.

8:00✧.*

get cozy!! make your bed and put on some soft pj's or some sweats

8:10✧.*

plan and pack!! pick out your whole outfit for tomorrow and pack up your school bag

8:20✧.*

relax!! watch a show or youtuber you like to relax a bit, get a couple snacks if you want.

8:50✧.*

brush teeth!! even if you are tired or don't want to you have to brush your teeth, you will thank yourself.

9:00✧.*

read!! get yourself a good book, light a candle and try to only have warm lighting like twinkle lights on. put on some nice music and set your morning alarms.

9:30✧.*

sleep!! get cozy in some blankets and take a sleepy vitamin if needed.

ੈ✩‧₊sweet dreamsੈ✩‧₊

[nic-mharta]

Just a little more Potential for 2023

Every so often the latest version of this comes around on my dash, and gives me a great reminder to check in on myself and my habits. It started with @shrinkingblonde's “Full Potential Challenge”: a list of self-care checkpoints for every day, broken down by morning, afternoon and evening. Alas, working on that many habits at once woke my “Monster From The Id”’, who immediately panicked. The Monster thinks that, given that my current bad self-care habits correlate with being currently alive, the best chance of staying alive is to change nothing. The Monster isn’t very bright, but it’s powerful.

So I made a minimal list, and took as long as it took to change (three years!), and I made some nice new habits! A year ago I rebooted with three new habits to work on (and seven established habits to maintain). And I’m doing pretty well, but life is throwing me some curve balls. And it’s a nice new ecclesiastic year, so I’m going to see what habits I can refresh, rebuild, or adopt between now and Lent. And we’ll see how that goes!

EVERY MORNING

Stretch. First thing. Really give your body enough time to wake up. Touch your toes. Roll out your shoulders. Do not hit snooze! (Doing okay!)

Brush your teeth and floss. (Doing great!)

Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water!!!!! (Why is this so hard?)

Cleanse and moisturize your skin and do at least minimal makeup (Was doing okay; needs a bit of a reboot!)

Now until Lent: Morning prayer was doing okay while I was doing part-time volunteer work. Having an office job is getting in the way of my prayer life. I need to figure out some creative way to maintain a healthy prayer life in a busy schedule. I’m open to suggestions.

EVERY AFTERNOON

Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water!!!!! (See above!)

Be friendly to friends and strangers. A smile goes a long way. (Doing great!)

Now until Lent: Walk once around the industrial park at lunchtime. Maybe pray while walking? I’ll need to get into work a little earlier, hence get up a little earlier, hence go to bed a little earlier, to make this work and still get in 8 hours at the office and still be home in time for my tutoring job.

EVERY EVENING

mentally review what needs to be done tomorrow, and identify (or find a way to insert) something fun. (doing okay-ish)

Brush, floss, cleanse, moisturize (how do you get waterproof mascara off, anyway?). (doing okay-ish)

Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water!!!!! (See above!)

Crawl into bed at least 7 hours before the alarm is set for.

Now until Lent: Eat and drink lightly and stop well before bedtime to avoid reflux.

EVERY WEEKEND (yeah, this whole routine needs work!)

Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water!!!!!

Choose, iron, find, wash, lay out -- whatever it takes -- clothes for the coming week.

Sew something for myself, or bake something fancy for fun

Track your progress.

#90dtg #NowUntilLent

[l-crimson-l]

And gunpla questions you receive! (Honestly, thank you so much for answering them, you're of a great help to a newbie that's me.)

So, I plan to finally get to partially painting my first gunpla tomorrow, and I also thought of doing a little weathering, but it's just a random thought for now — and so I got curious of what weathering techniques you prefer and for what reason.

Ok so I had to take some time to look up a couple popular ways to do this bc I’ve only weather one kit only half way and it was, of course, the lazy way.

So first I’ll tell you how I did it. It was one of the 86 kits (please reprint those Bandai) and I only weathered the off white parts. But what I ended up doing was using the black, grey and brown gundam pens (typically used for panel lining) and my thumb to first add color the edges and panel lines, then used my thumb to smooth out the color. Using the brown gave it a nice rain rusted look and the black and grey added a nice worn look. The kit is packed away at the moment but I posted pictures of it somewhere on my blog. Probably under 86 lol

Ok so now the more official Modeler Approved options.

First would be using the Tamiya Weathering set. There’s a couple different panels to choose from so definitely pick the ones that have the colors you need. 

Basically it goes like this: use the brush (either the one included or maybe better, a foam type brush) and dash along the edges. Build up as much or as little as you want (for example maybe you wanna lay it on thick if you’re doing like a mud drenched type look) and then topcoat! If you add too much you can always wipe some away with a little bit of water. IMPORTANT NOTE: this is powdered so WEAR A MASK or at the very least use this in a Well Ventilated Area. There’s a couple brushes sold online for these

But you can honestly use either a sponge or an old makeup brush.

(Pic at the bottom bc tunglr mobile sucks)

The second method is called Chipping. This is where you use paint and a Very Thin Fine Tip Brush to brush on small chip like strokes on the edges of the piece. Using a couple colors here adds depth and helps it look more realistic. Here’s one example I found online

Now something to note about this method is that it is certainly time consuming. From what I listened to, this particular method can certainly take a couple days to detail the whole kit depending on how much you do and how big the kit is.

IMPORTANT: if you choose this method be aware of the chemistry of your paint. If you have an enamel or acrylic paint base then don’t go and use lacquer paint for your detail work. It’ll eat those other paints.

I think you could always top coat your paint job before doing this to help preserve your paint? Maybe someone more experience can confirm that.

Third: Washes

This is pretty straight forward. Take your paint, thin it down and then wash it over the part with a brush. Depending on your paint you can use a qtip to help dab away any excess. This typically really works well on things like planes and ships but can be used for gunpla as well. You can use this for any kind of paint just once again Be Mindful About Your Paint Layers. You don’t want a top layer of paint eating through your base paint job.

Here’s a couple links to videos covering each one in more detail:

Tamiya Weathering Set

Chipping

Wash

I hope this helps! Again it’s not something I’ve dipped my toes into to any real depth but I’ll tell ya this: even my lazy arse way added WAY more character and weight to my kit

[juicyjunhui]

I have SO much to do it's ridiculous

Chemistry assignment

Photography assignment

Photography portfolio

Makeup portfolio

Organisation of a big ass event I could be hosting

Genetics assignment

Keep my room clean and organised so I can find stuff despite having no free time

Kill me

[sohin-ace]

Abbachio - Hangover

You walked inside the headquarters that you titled your home.

It was half past 3 A.M and you knew fair well everybody in the team was staying here for the night, and were most likely sleeping soundly like babies at this hour.

And so, with velvety steps and calculated slow movements, you entered the porch and quietly closed the door, moving in the dark as silently as possible.

You had just finished a tiring mission and the one thing you desired most at the moment was to crash into bed, maybe marry it since you were at it, barely thinking about the sticky blood, sweat and dried river water that stained you during your mission.

You huffed and kicked your shoes off, liberating your aching and swollen feet from them, directing yourself towards the kitchen to fetch some well-deserved water that your throat was oh-so desperately screaming for.

You were shocked to find the room lit at this hour. Your first thought was that Bruno was probably still awake and having a small break from his neverending pile of work.

Your expression completely fell, however, upon seeing that Bruno was not the one occupying the kitchen but someone else, greeting you with a heart breaking sight.

"... Leone?"

The male was slumped over the table, his head buried in his arms with one hand holding onto a spilling wine bottle, burgundy liquid running everywhere onto the wooden surface, the floor, and onto the male's clothes. Even some strands of his splayed out hair drank up the alcohol, dying them from silver to violet.

You gasped at the mess but was even more shocked by the implications behind said mess. He didn't even bother taking a glass, prefering downing the wine directly from the bottle. He wasn't planning on holding back tonight and it alarmed you.

You knew of Abbachio's tendency of alchoholism, but he was never so drunk as to black out this way and you weren't sure he would even be able to work tomorrow, or do anything else, for that matter.

"Leone..." You slowly approached his hunched over form and gently shook him. "Caro, wake up."

No response.

With you being all alone in the middle of the night, there weren't much you could do. But there were no way you'd ever leave him in this state.

Shaken with worry, you only did what your heart told you and moved the bottle away from his grip. It was almost empty at this point anyway.

You brushed his long hair to the side to let some fresh air cool his face down while you cleaned and mopped the tiled floor and table. Oh you'd make sure to lecture him about that later.

You thought about him, sitting next to you as you cleaned up. How tormented he was and how, just like the wine bottle, he spilled himself out in secrecy.

You bit back your tears. He was so alone. Tortured. It hurt you that your Leone, whom you loved so much, had to go through a trauma you could never heal for him. Or even soothed in the slightest. You were grateful that he even remotely accepted your affection, but still.

It wasn't enough, for you.

"I wish I could help you, Leone..." You murmured and caressed his soft hair, revealing more of his peaceful face, his smeared makeup not tainting any of his beauty.

Your heart clenched, he looked so calm, so sweet. How did he manage to make grief look so gentle, you would never know. You almost didn't want to move him and disturb him, but you had to.

Carefully holding his shoulders, you pulled him up, his weight much heavier than you'd have expected, even thought it should be no surprise. Abbachio was a burly man.

You craddled his head and placed him in a proper up-sitting position and he groaned.

"Uugh... Hhmmm..."

"Leone, wake up, love." You still held his face against your chest and patted his cheek to wake him, scared that he'd sway and tumble over if you let go of him. "You gotta go to bed. Come on."

"Hmmm.... Sssuuuree...." He mumbled, words slurred.

He was surprisingly compliant, you thought. When you were certain he could hold his own head up, you let go and grabbed his wrist, still drenched in wine.

You hooked his arm around your shoulders and wrapped your own around his torso. He made the effort to stay in balance while you hoisted him up to his feet, not without struggle and effort on your part.

You stumbled a bit, but managed to get him up, at least, holding onto him for dear life as you maneuvered his much heavier body around the kitchen.

He counted on you for support and was close to falling sleeping on you as he snored against your hair, the stench of alcohol reaching your nostrils. Man, why did he have to be the heaviest male of the group?

You brushed your exhaustion from the preceeding mission to the side and dedicated yourself to helping Leone. Rest could wait.

Thanks to the help of your Stand, you ended the course safely back to his room and opened the door, having more hands to do so.

You let him down to sit onto his bed as gently as you could and you felt he was about collapse again.

You instantly wrapped your arms around his shoulders and let him slump over your chest.

"Woa- Don't lay down just yet! I need to get your clothes off."

He only purred some low nonsense, as if to show his annoyance to you. Well, maybe he desperately wanted to sleep, but so did you.

"Don't 'brrr' at me, boy. You're the one who spilled wine all over your pants and top!" You scolded to deaf, or rather drunk ears. Not like he was listening to you, but still.

Huffing a bit, you took hold of the lace on his top and untied it, letting you slide the rest off his broad shoulders and back. It was much easier to slip the sleeves off afterwards, and you were almost proud of yourself.

"I'm gonna be such a good mom." You joked to yourself as you caringly held onto Leone's warm back and head to gently place him down on his bed before taking his shoes and pants off.

Once this was done and not without a pause to catch your breath, you went to the bathroom to grab a towel, dampening it in warm water before you came back to him and sat by his side. He had already fallen fast asleep, and was looking awfully adorable, if you were honest.

" 'Clumsy brat'," You chuckled with a whisper as you wiped the wine off his skin and the sweat and tears off his neck and chest. "That's what you always called me. Ironic."

You looked fondly over at him as you finished your self-assigned task, closing off by wiping his left hand. You thought over your options.

Maybe it was the fatigue blurring your moral code. Or maybe you were just blinded by this crazy thing called love. Perhaps he was just an enticing wizard who cast a spell on you with his lips. Whatever it was, you foolishly decided you would kiss him after you removed his make up, and so you did.

You gently removed what remained of his make up that wasn't washed out by the crying and the drinking. You sighed at your good job and leaned over, running your fingers delicately over his skin.

"This is probably wrong." You hesitated, questioning your choices, yet feeling brave. "But I think I can at least have that, right...? Pardon me for this, Leone."

You closed the distance between you both to press your lips ever-so-sweetly on his own, wanting to linger, but not quite feeling deserving enough either. It was short-lived but precious and tingly. You felt your heart flutter and you swore you also felt his hand twitch slightly next to you.

You sighed. You yearned for more. You wished you could just collapse and fall asleep by him. Your responsibilities thankfully got the best of you.

"I love you. Please love yourself too, we all want to see you better. I know I do. Depend on me sometimes too, okay?" You breathed out to him, secretely hoping he heard you in his dreams and maybe accepted your selfish and heartfelt request.

You were tired. You needed to sleep and you were afraid you'd act more and more foolishly if you stayed with him any longer.

You reluctantly leaned away from him and got up, making sure to tuck him in thoroughly inside the blankets before you left.

You'd leave a note to Bruno to not wake him up in the morning.

When Abbachio woke up in the morning, much later than he usually did, he was disappointed, yet not surprised to be struck with a splitting headache.

"Fuck..." He groaned, holding his heavy head in his hands, "Not again..."

He inhaled deeply only to realise he was strangely met by a sweet familiar scent mixed with the stinging wine he drowned himself in.

Out of doubt, he looked over the bedside table and found a water bottle and some aspirin as well as a small note.

He grabbed the note and squinted at it, trying to read it with his still hazy eyes.

'Water helps with hangover headaches. Tablets too, obviously :P . Take it easy, Bruno gave you the day off.'

Was that you? That was most definitely you, he thought. And that fruity scent on his face and hands must be you too. There were no doubt now.

It didn't take him long to put two and two together. He would have been much quicker-witted if he wasn't so hungover. He remembered you had a mission last night, you probably went home by then and helped him to bed out of sheer empathy, sweet as you were.

Abbachio sighed and rubbed his face. He was both ashamed and extremely grateful towards you. It must have been so draining to come take care of him after you risked your life out there.

God he felt like shit. Again, he was being a burden on the people he loved, all because of his selfish choices. But knowing you, you'd probably hate him thinking that of himself, and tell him you were fine with it and happy to help. You had such a kind heart.

"... How did she even get me upstairs...? This tiny dwarf."

He groaned and sat up, smoothing his fingers over his lips. He blushed at his own thoughts. He swore he dreamt of you kissing him as he was asleep, and the feeling was still pretty vivid.

But he couldn't be sure. Drunken dreams were weird sometimes.

Thinking of making it up to you, he took the medicine and downed it with water, his mind filled with thoughts of you only.

He deserved at least that.

[aaliyahdoesntwalkhere]

Just us

Pairing: Hwang Intak x reader 

Pronouns: They/them but the reader does wear makeup 

Descriptions mentioned: black reader (mentions of a bonnet) 

Genre: Fluff/ slice of life 

warning: not eating for and extended period of time (accidentally) & overworking 

Y/N loved their job, they truly did, but sometimes it was one of the last things they wanted to do and today was one of those days.

Y/N came in as the clock read 2am, sliding off their shoes, they made sure to be very quiet in order not to wake up their boyfriend. Preparing to go to bed, they walked to their bedroom but they failed to notice Intak and walked straight into his chest.

“Well, hello to you too.” Intak grinned at Y/N, seemingly wide awake.

“Jesus Christ, you scared me. Why are you still up?” Y/N mumbled, rubbing their eyes.

“I was waiting for you, but I didn’t expect you to get home so late.”

“Sorry, it took longer than expected.”

“It’s fine, at least you don’t have work tomorrow. Did you eat dinner?”

Intak’s eyes widened when Y/N shook their head no. “Oh my God, that means you probably didn't eat lunch, which means you haven't eaten since yesterday morning. Jesus, we need to get some food in you, stat.”

“Why can’t I just go to bed and eat when I wake up.” Y/N questioned whining slightly due to their tired state as Intak pushed them to the couch.

“Because you need food in your system. It has been almost 24 hours since your last meal since you ate breakfast at 5. So sit here while I heat some food up.”

Y/N simply let him do this because they knew the sooner he finished the sooner they could go to bed. The food took a couple of  minutes and during that time Y/N fell asleep. Intak brought over two bowls of ramen and noticed they were asleep.

He set down the bowls and went to wake them up.  “Come on, wake up, we can’t have you waking up at 5am looking for food.”

“I’m so tired I could sleep for decades, I don’t think a little hunger is gonna wake me up.” Y/N responded, opening their eyes.

“You’re saying that until you wake up at 5am.”

Not even bothering to fight back, Y/N just picked up the bowl and started eating. The two simply sat and ate with whatever drama Intak put on in the back. Y/N finished their meal and put the bowl back on the table.

“Alright, I’m done, can you finally let me sleep in peace.”

At this Intak stood up, “Absolutely not, One: the couch will actually kill your back, two: you will kill me if I let you fall asleep in your makeup. So get up.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Come on, I'll even help with everything.” Intak put his arm around Y/Nand led them to the bathroom.

“Sit here and just let me do everything.”

Intak took their silence as an “ok” and continued on with their nightly routine. First he grabbed the makeup remover and took off their makeup. Then he grabbed their face wash and their facial cleansing brush and continued on with the drill. After putting on the lotion, he then abruptly stood up, slightly startling Aniyah.

“You brush your teeth while I get your pajamas and bonnet.”

“But you said you’d help with everything.” Y/N said, using his own words against him.

“But this is quicker cause we get two things done at once and you get to go to sleep sooner.”

Seeing as they couldn’t argue against his logic, Y/N just did as they were told and then went to their bedroom. After Intak gave them the clothes, Y/N quickly changed and just as quickly got under the covers, ready to finally get some sleep. Intak climbed in right after and simply kissed y/n’s forehead and said “Get some sleep, tomorrow, we can relax, no clients, no rehearsals, no schedules, just us.”

[sarcasmandships]

honey and glass ~ spencer reid

i am in love with spencer reid but he only has eyes for jennifer jareau

spencer reid x reader angst + hurt/comfort (sorta, it’s all in first person but with no names/no specific descrptions)

song fic inspired by ‘honey and glass’ by peyton cardoza

word count: 4.8k

disclaimer: i do not ship jeid or think they had any chemistry but it’s a good opportunity for angst x

you know those kinds of girls who look like they're made of honey and glass like sticky sweet ash

it’s a summers night in california and i’m on the beach at sunset.

the sand is rough under my toes and a warm, gentle breeze blows a strand of my hair across my face; he lifts his hand to brush it away. tucking it behind my ear he stares down at me and the sun hits his face at a perfect angle, illuminating his hazel eyes like pools of honey. he leans in and i-

“ow!” i yelp, as morgan launches the volleyball at my head, “what was that for?”  

“come and play,” he laughs, waving me over to where he stands with emily and hotch.

i shake my head, “no, i don’t feel like it,” i mumble, massaging my left temple where the ball bounced off my skull.

morgan rolls his eyes and jogs past where i’m sitting to collect the ball, “what’s up with you then?” he teases.

i shrug, “nothing. I’m just tired,” i say feigning an unconvincing yawn, “ask one of them to play.”  

i motion with my head towards spencer and jj, they’re down by the edge of the waves and she throws her head back and laughs at something he says. her sheets of blonde hair ripple through the wind and he looks at her in pure awe and amazement as she giggles at something he said.

“nah, don’t wanna interrupt the kid when he’s trying to make a move,” morgan shrugs, “come play with us, we need an extra person.”

an extra person.

right.

because what else am i but another body to fill the space?

“i don’t want to,” i say, forcing myself to tear my eyes away from jj and spencer as i stand up, “hotch said the jet is leaving first thing tomorrow, i’m gonna head back to the hotel and get some sleep.”

morgan says something, but i don’t register it as i allow myself one last glance at spencer and jj. she is trying to convince him to paddle in the waves with her, he shakes his head but when she takes his hand in hers i can tell he’s melting inside as he follows her into the water.

and i just know that he’d follow her so far out to sea that his head was underwater as long as she kept their hands intertwined.

i turn away from morgan so he doesn’t see the tears burning in my eyes.

and you can't get the taste off your tongue burnt sugar and a little bit of rum

we’re in a dimly lit bar somewhere.

hotch left hours ago, he wanted to take advantage of one of the rare nights he would be there to read jack a bedtime story.

rossi is at a table in the corner, sitting with a woman who has not-so-subtly draped her leg over him.

derek is out of my line of sight and i’m thankful for that.

emily, garcia, and jj are dancing.

i sit at the table with spencer, he’s drunk.

more tipsy than drunk i think, but he so rarely drinks anything that the sight of him swaying along to the music was an anomaly. i can’t ignore the fact that his eyes are firmly fixed on jj as she dances, and i grip my wine glass so tightly i half expect it to shatter in my hand.

he leans across to me and my heart skips a beat as i inhale the alcohol on his breath, “i’m in love with her, y’know,” he slurs.

“i know, spencer,” i smile sadly and down the rest of my wine.

he doesn’t even notice when i grab my coat from behind him and shuffle towards the door.

and she dances in the rain with her clothes on drenched to the bone never knows when she's all gone, she's the life of the party

spencer and i are watching the big bang theory.

neither of us particularly like it, but there aren’t many channels on our hotel room tv and spencer enjoys the physics references at least. i watch his face light up as a character mentions something about quantum theory that i cant understand, and spencer launches into a rant about the universe and the stars.

i don’t have the knowledge to keep up with him or the heart to tell him to stop so i sit and listen, admiring the way his eyes sparkle and his hands gesticulate when no one interrupts him with a deprecating comment.

we sit there like that for the rest of the night, in our respective twin beds with him telling me the secrets of the universe and me wondering how on earth i will ever get over him.

and deep down I know that nobody flinches when she takes off her clothes

“anything you like?” emily asks me through the dressing room curtain.

“i’m not sure…” i mumble in response, biting down on my lip as i stare at myself in the mirror, “i-i don’t think this is my colour.”

the dress looked so beautiful on the hanger, but now that it’s on my body the fabric bunches up in all the wrong places and i can’t recall a time that i’ve looked worse.

the lights are just washing you out, i tell myself.

you’re having a bad hair day, it would look better with your hair down, i tell myself.

you just need some lipstick, i tell myself.

but when jj announces she has found the perfect dress and i stick my head out of the curtain to see her, i am slapped in the face with the realisation that it isn’t the lighting or my lack of makeup it’s just me.

because jj looks beautiful as always, her dress hugs her waist and the skirt fans out around her as emily demands she gives us a spin. she isn’t wearing makeup, her hair is in a ponytail too, the lights don’t wash her out because she is radiant and flawless, and the lights aren’t the problem.

i am.

i cry in my car as i drive home from the mall, and when i get home i tear everything out of my fridge and fling it into the trashcan. i vow to go to the store and stock up on salad and chicken.

i go to the store but i don’t buy salad.

and I wonder what it's like to be one of those girls to sit in the sun and look at the world and never think, "wow, am i enough?" ‘cause life is easy when you know that you're the main character

i’m in hotch’s office as he grills me about a stupid mistake i made in the field. i can hardly focus on his words as i shrink back in the chair, counting all the reasons that i don’t deserve to be in this job.

i’m not as smart or fast or strong as the others. i don’t have an eidetic memory or hacker skills and i can’t even maintain myself as a solid average agent because i keep fucking up.

“i’m not going to write you up,” he says, and my heart soars a little in my chest, “but i need you to understand that if you do something like that again i won’t have any choice, you were lucky no one got hurt today.”

i nod silently and blink back the tears that threaten to spill over.

“go home, get some rest,” he says and i don’t hang around for a second longer, darting out of his office i crash headfirst into a tall frame.

“wow, slow down,” he chuckles, resting a hand on my shoulder to steady me.

“spencer,” i gasp, looking up at his sympathetic smile, “what are you still doing here? we landed hours ago….”

he shrugs, “i waited for you.”

my heart skips a beat.

“you didn’t have to do that.”

he shakes his head, “you’re my best friend, i wanted to. plus i thought you might need someone after being in there with hotch.”

i swallow and offer him a slightly forced smile.

best friend.

“thanks, spence, that means a lot.”

he looks at me quizzically.

“what’s wrong?”

“nothing, just only jj calls me spence…anyways” he holds out his arm for me, “shall we go?”

i have to restrain myself from seizing his arm, and settle for tentatively wrapping my own around it, “thanks spencer…you’re such a good friend.”

he smiles down at me and its almost enough to melt away the icy feeling in my heart as i call him a friend. the coldness in my chest in my chest is a feeling i’ve grown accustomed to but when i’m with him everything is warm and bright again.

he feels like yellow.

and i feel like maybe i am enough.

and I'm sitting here thinking this is not fair

i feel like blue.

i’m alone in my apartment flicking through tv channels, trying to find something that isn’t a medical or crime drama. because after my day at work i can’t look at any more blood or dead bodies, even if its as fake as the pep in my voice when jj calls to ask if i’m okay.

“hotch grilled you pretty bad, huh? you sure you’re okay?”

“yeah, spence – spencer – waited for me and we went to get milkshakes after.”

“aww that’s so nice, you know i think he has a soft spot for you,” she teases.

something acidic bubbles in my throat, but i can’t tell her that i know she’s wrong because he spent half the night telling me how much he loves her. i have to gather the strength to respond without the venom in my heart poisoning my voice.

“oh, i don’t think so,” i laugh, “anyways, i should go – my movie is about to start.”

jj tells me to have a good night before she hangs up, and i switch off the tv. at this time there’s noting but romcoms and i don’t want to sit through hours of pining when its on replay every day at the office.

i watch my own reflection in the blank tv screen as sobs wrack my body.

but her smile makes it hard to be mad it's not her fault that I'm so fucking sad

jj holds me in her arms as i cry into her chest, “it’s okay, you’re gonna be okay,” she coos, rubbing soft circles on my back.

i sniffle against her and i just know that my eyes are puffy and red but i can’t switch off the floods of tears that fall from them.

“do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” she asks.

i shake my head against her because how could i tell her?

how could I tell her that the man i love is in love with her?

and that i want to resent her for it but i can’t because she’s such a good fucking friend that she’s sitting here with me, unknowingly wiping the tears that i can’t stop shedding because i can’t be her.

she gives me one of those heart warming smiles that could bring peace to a dying man, and in that moment i am reminded again of why he loves her. there are worse people to love, i suppose. if spencer is going to cut out his heart and give it to someone it might as well be someone like her.

but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

and i hate myself for the part of me that hates her. she’s done nothing wrong. it’s not her fault that that spencer loves her, and its not her fault that she doesn’t realise.

so I'll sit here and look at these girls in the sun dancing in the rain and just having their fun

i hate alaska.

my teeth chatter as we trudge through the snow filled field, and i pull the cuffs of my coat over my glove cladded hands. i hate the cold. i hate alaska. i hate the serial killer who dragged us all out here. i hate the impending snowstorm that was keeping the jet grounded for another night.

“should we even be out here?” i groan, “i mean if it’s not safe for the plane, then surely its not safe for us.”

“we aren’t 50,000 feet up in the sky though,” morgan says and i roll my eyes at him.

“it’s cold enough to make me feel like we are,” i huff.

spencer nods sympathetically at me, “i don’t like the cold either, not much snow in vegas.”

“i think we should have two behavioural analysis units,” i begin, “one to catch serial killers in cold climates, and the other in hot ones.”

he laughs, “i’d like that, but i think it’d just be us and garcia on the hot team.”

“we’d get by.”

he’s grinning at me, his messy brown curls are squashed down under his bobble hat but a few of them still manage to peak out. he’s wearing a multicoloured striped scarf and mismatched gloves.

a snowflake lands on his eyelash and i reach out to brush it off.

“thanks.”

“anytime.”

morgan launches a snowball at us, and it hits me in the back of the head, “hey! what is it with you and throwing things?” i snap.

morgan roars with laughter.

“not funny derek!”

he resumes his snowball fight with emily and jj and i draw my arms across my chest. i watch as they prance about in the snow, falling to avoid the snowballs launched by the others and laughing when they get hit. the sun is just starting to set, and it’s rays catch jj’s hair at the perfect angle, bouncing off the golden blonde strands as she dances around morgan. her and emily have joined forces to pelt him with snowballs.

i look up at spencer to see him starting at her in awe. his nose and cheeks are flushed from the cold, and the sun reflects against his own face, illuminating his eyes. they’re beautiful. like honey and glass.

“guys! come join us!” jj calls.

i shake my head, “there’s not enough money in the world.”

she pouts at me, “spence, please,” she says sweetly and before i know it he’s by her side and scooping up snow.

i watch from the side-lines.

spencer roars with laughter when emily hits morgan square in the face with a snowball, he wraps an arm around jj as she nearly collapses from laughter, something twinges in my stomach.

but he looks so happy, and that melts my glacier heart slightly.

maybe alaska wasn’t so bad after all.

and maybe one day, i can forget the past and be one of those girls of honey and glass

“nice to meet you, agent,” agent fitz says, holding out his hand, “we’ve heard good things about you up in the new york office.”

“really?” i say, shaking his hand and i can’t fight the smile that creeps across my face.

“really. give me a call if you ever fancy a change of scenery.”

“i’ll keep that in mind, agent fitz,” i give him a nod and a smile as he walks away.

new york was cold in the winter, but it didn’t seem like the worst place in the world.

but I think that it's hard for people to see that I love all these girls, and honestly it doesn't matter what you look like or how much you weigh

i wondered once how i’d ever get over my love for spencer reid, and now as he sits and sobs on my couch i realise that i don’t want to. it hurts me to love him, and something stabs my heart every time i catch him staring at her, but he deserves someone to love him like he loves her.

“i guess i’m just starting to realise that she’ll never love me back, and i don’t know why or what’s wrong with me,” he says and looks up at me, his eyes filled with tears and his face blotchy and red.

“there’s nothing wrong with you,” i say, wrapping an arm around him and wiping his tears, “sometimes the people you love just don’t love you back, but that’s not a reflection of you or your self-worth,” i reiterate to him the mantra i say in my mirror every morning.

he whimpers and my heart breaks for him.

“it doesn’t feel that way, it feels like i’m dying inside every time she talks about him or tells me about their dates, and i try to be a good friend but-”

his voice cracks and another sob escapes his chest and i tighten my grip around him; heartbreak doesn’t seem to get easier with age, because here we are, two fbi agents in our late twenties crying over our crushes like we are in junior high.

because before i know it the tears are flowing down my face faster than his and when he breaks away from our embrace to ask me why i’m crying, i can’t tell him it’s because i am feeling everything he is.

“i just don’t like seeing you like this,” is all i can muster up.

it's just that these girls know they're okay there's a beauty in knowing your place in the world in loving yourself and knowing your worth

“hey!” spencer greets me as he steps into the elevator with me.

“hi,” i mumble back, taking another sip of coffee from my travel cup.

we’ve been called in on a case, but i’ve barely had any sleep and i’m struggling to keep my eyes open.

“you look tired, are you okay?”

you look tired.

so the bags under my eyes were obvious then.

“yeah,” i say, swallowing the lump in my throat, “just a late night, y’know.”

“oh…oh! is that your way of saying your date went well?” he says with a coy grin.

“what?”

oh! something clicks in my brain and i understand what he means.

“no! not like that no…actually it didn’t go well at all, he turned out to be a total misogynistic creep,” i say with a bitter laugh.

“oh, i’m sorry….”

i shrug and take another swig of coffee, “it’s okay, you didn’t know. to be honest i’ll probably end up calling him again anyways.”

spencer stares at me, confused, “why would you do that?”

“well, i don’t exactly have guys falling over themselves for me, do i?”

spencer frowns and i can see his brain working overtime behind his eyes, “so you’re just going to settle for less than you deserve?”

“i don’t have many other options do i?”

he reaches out an arm to place a comforting hand on my shoulder, “don’t worry, you’ll find the right guy for you soon. it’s only a matter of time, you’re worth more than a misogynistic creep,” he squeezes my shoulder and before i know it we’ve already reached our floor and he’s gone.

you’ll meet the right guy for you soon.

what if i already have?

you don't have to be perfect or never get sad that's not what it means to be honey and glass

it’s late and i sit at my desk, sorting through piles of paperwork.

my eyes blur as i enter the gruesome details of our latest case, from fatigue or tears i can’t tell. i think emily and hotch are still hanging around the office somewhere, but the others had gone to dinner as soon as we landed, promising that they would do their paperwork tomorrow.

i knew i would have no appetite sitting across a table from spencer and jj so i had sat silently in the back of the suv as hotch drove us back to the office.

a singular tear rolls down my cheek and splatters on my page, smudging the not-quite-dry-yet ink. i let out a shaky breath and wipe my eyes, i don’t know why i’m crying really.

no one had necessarily done anything wrong. only when we were in the field and the unsub had detonated the bomb, spencer chose to push jj out of the way instead of me. i was lucky that one of the s.w.a.t agents had grabbed my arm in time and pulled me back to safety.

it had been hours and my ears were still ringing from the explosion.

maybe spencer thought he was closer to jj, that he had a better chance of saving her, we are trained to make difficult choices based on survival odds, i told myself.

only spencer hadn’t been closer to jj, and she was surrounded by three s.w.a.t agents whilst i only had one next to me. but no one had really done anything wrong, no one died, no one even broke a bone. and it pains me to admit to myself but had i been in spencer’s position and had to chose between saving him or morgan, i know that would pull spencer out of the way every single time.

i jump as emily creeps up behind me, “hey, you okay?”

i don’t even try and disguise my puffy, red eyes or tear tracks as i look up at her, “no. but i think that’s okay.”

and everyone has their highs and their lows the nights you spend crying, believe me, I know

it’s roslyn’s birthday.

i don’t think anyone else in the team knows because they keep exchanging looks whenever jj snaps at one of them and i can see the annoyance in their eyes.

when jj barks at spencer and snaps her pencil within the space of five minutes i drag her into a storage closet and wrap my arms around her.

“shhh,” i say soothingly, “it’s okay, you’re gonna be okay.”

jj shakes her head, “i don’t think so, i thought this day would get easier with time but it’s just getting worse,” she sniffles.

i stroke her hair, “i know, i know its horrible and you deserve to cry as much as you want to. but you are so strong, and i know you can get through this-”

“i’m not,” jj shakes her head, “i’m not strong or brave or anything that you all think i am, i’m not like you I-”

“like me?” i question.

“you always hold yourself together, whenever there’s a case with a kid i’m falling to pieces but you keep it together. i mean i’m the one crying in a storage closet….”

i stare at her in disbelief, because jj is the strongest woman i know and i don’t understand how she can’t see that.

“i don’t have a sister who killed herself jj,” i say slowly, “you have survived 100% of the bad things that have happened to you because you’re a fighter, that makes you strong.”

she shakes her head and clings to me, “but i’ve lost pieces of myself, i’m not the same person i could’ve been if life had been kinder to me and that makes me sad. my sister is dead and that makes me sad, everyone thinks i’m this strong and perfect person and that makes me feel guilty because i can’t be that person.”

in a turn of events, she is crying into my chest, her hair is greasy, and her mascara runs and i realise that my best friend was never truly on the pedestal i placed her on. and i realise i am part of the problem, treating jj like she is the be all and all of perfection and unattainablity when i should just be treating her like a friend.

spencer loves her and that kills me but it’s not what’s important right now. i’ve spent too long inside my own head, struggling to view her as my best friend or the other woman but now i see that she is someone that needs my help.

i know what it’s like to cry myself to sleep so i don’t want jj to go through something like that alone. so i vow there and then, to push my own feelings aside and be whatever she needs me to be.

i don't want to be these girls for beauty or fame but for the confidence they have in their own damn name

“smile!” garcia says as she appears with a camera.

emily, jj, and morgan turn to face her and pose but i duck out of the frame. garcia pouts and morgan grabs onto my forearm to pull me back into shot. i wish that i had the self-confidence to let him, to fall in next to him and make a silly pose at the camera and not worry if my hair was sitting nicely or if i was breathing in enough.

“come on! i need pictures for my scrapbook and you’ve been dodging me all night!” she whines.

i stare down at my feet, “garcia i’m not photoshoot ready like these guys,” i say, trying to make my voice light and floaty but it just sounds like im choking back tears.

“come on, just one picture,” jj says kindly, waving for me to come and stand next to her.

i shake my head again and wring my hands. the last thing i need is another photograph of jj and i to compare myself to every time i’m feeling extra low and self-destructive.

i try and remember the vow i made, to be there for my friend despite my own feelings. but she isn’t sad anymore, she’s happy and smiling and drinking wine, me squeezing in between her and emily for a stupid photograph isn’t going to make or break her.

it’s just a stupid photograph.

“no thanks,” i choke, “i’m going to get another drink,” i scurry away to the kitchen before anyone can object.

i shut the door quickly behind me and press my back up against it, taking a deep breath. i can’t quite believe i was successful in escaping garcia again.

“are you avoid garcia and her camera too?”

“spencer!” i laugh shrilly, “i didn’t even see you there.”

“yeah, i’ve been hiding in here for a half hour,” he smiles sadly, “i hate having my picture taken, especially next to morgan. he makes me look even lankier if possible.”

i frown, spencer had no reason to feel insecure.

“why don’t we get garcia to take a picture of just us two?” i suggest nervously, “you won’t have any reason to feel insecure next to me….”

he looks at me quizzically, “what do you mean?”

i wring my hands again, “just that you’ll automatically look even better if i’m next to you…cos’ i’m…well y’know,” i say awkwardly motioning to my face and body.

he cocks his head to the side, “are you trying to tell me you think you’re ugly, so i’ll look better by comparison?”

i shrug.

“well, i think you look beautiful.”

so I'll sit here and look at these girls in the sun dancing in the rain and just having their fun

we’re on the plane journey home.

spencer and jj sit next to each other, their arms pressed together as they share the arm rest. spencer is reading a book; his eyes scan down the pages at lightening speed and i know he’ll be finished soon.

i am on the opposite side of the plane, i sit by myself, i like the space.

i keep my eye on them throughout the flight; just as i predicted, it doesn’t take long for spencer to finish his book and he places it down on the table in front of him. jj picks it up and teases him for the long-winded title, i don’t catch what she says, something about astrophysics.

he starts to ramble, and she interrupts him with another teasing remark, he flushes when she gently nudges his chest. i turn my head to stare out of the window, biting my lip.

they aren’t even doing anything, jj is just being friendly. and i still can’t handle it. i lie my head back against the headrest as i gaze out of the window, admiring the new york skyline as it fades into the distance.

a nervous chuckle from spencer snaps me out of my trance, and i look back over to see him and jj giggling secretively as she whispers something into his ear.

 “where are you going?” emily grumbles, she’s half asleep with her legs splayed out across two chairs when i accidently bump her foot.

 “bathroom,” i say quietly with a forced smile as i shuffle past jj and spencer, my heart seizing in my chest as she teases him about how long his hair is getting, brushing her hand through the curls.

i’m already silently sobbing in the bathroom so i miss the pitiful look that emily and morgan exchange.

and I know it doesn't make sense to forget the past but I promise, one day, you'll be honey and glass

“agent fitz?” i say, clutching my phone tight in my hand.

“ahh, i’ve been wondering when i’d be hearing from you.”

i laugh quietly, “yes, well i’ve been thinking about what you said, and i think i could do with that change of scenery now.”

i wrote this in a couple hours and didnt proof read so apologies for an errors :))

part 2

[malleux]

second chance.

-> childe x fem!reader ; modern!au

-> cw; alcohol, cursing, bad memories

a/n: this literally makes no sense and is so bad i was just typing and letting my brain say whatever it wanted and i made this in an hour but please enjoy i think idk

You should have known it was a bad idea- going to the bar you and your ex always used to go to. Your friend had begged and begged and begged, wearing you down until eventually, you relented.

You let her drag you into her closet, dress you in an outfit that was definitely not your style, do your hair and makeup, and slipped on heels that rivaled entire rulers in their height.

“It’ll be fine!” She reassured you, “I haven’t seen him there in weeks.”

Weeks my ass, you scoffed in your head.

It was strange, how she had constantly reassured you that he wouldn’t be here, and yet through the blinding strobe lights and the dozens of bodies dancing in front of you, you saw him.

You saw him, in all his glory, leaning against the wall. He was staring at you.

Quickly, you turned and laid your hand against the bar counter. You ordered a shot and downed it. And then another. And a third. You would take as many as needed to wash away the memories that began to resurface in your mind as you looked at him.

His eyes still glowered into yours as you glanced once more, a smirk beginning to play on the corner of his lips.

You couldn’t tell what was making you so lightheaded- the alcohol, or his gaze?

Where was your friend?

Your vision was a little distorted as you surveyed the crowd, trying your hardest to navigate through and find her. You wanted to go home.

Red, green, white, pink, purple, blue. Blue. Blue.

Blue eyes were up close and personal, just as they had all those months ago. Your breath hitched.

“Long time no see, Y/N.”

“Childe...” You breathed out. “Have- have you seen Amber anywhere? I can’t find her.”

“Hmm? Why? Didn’t you both just get here?” Childe’s hand lightly brushed against your hip and you shivered. You had missed his touch, and the shots were making it hard to hide.

“Yeah, it’s just that, uh, I’m really tired and I’ve got work tomorrow and-“

“Would you like me to take you home? I still remember the way.”

His tone was playful, but held a hint of longing that went straight over your head. You gulped, the proximity making you slightly hot, and nodded. Childe smiled at you and linked his arm with yours, pulling you out to his car.

It was new, you noticed. A black sports car, way different from the old, beat up SUV he used to drive. Had it really been that long since you’d seen him? Enough for Childe to really get his life together and change?

You shook your head and got into the passenger side, the door being held open quite gentlemanly by your ex-boyfriend. He got in the other side and began to pull out of the parking lot, the radio playing music softly to curb the awkward silence.

You recognized the song- good 4 you. Childe had always had a good taste in music, and he knew what songs to play at what time. He was a god on the AUX and your entire friend group knew that. In the past, that was.

It still seemed that way, you thought, since this song was quite fitting for your situation.

“How have you been?”

His voice cut through the music. You cringed a little, hoping he would stay quiet. You should’ve known that was too much to ask of a man like Childe.

“I’ve been alright.” You were curt, not quite telling the truth. “You?”

Childe hummed for a second. “Truthfully? I’ve been doing amazing. My new job is paying great and I’m living on my own now, paying my own rent.”

“No more living with Scaramouche?”

“Nope! I’m a free man.” Childe laughed at the memory you had brought up. He would come over to your place complaining about his former roommate every day. You were glad he finally escaped the little bitch.

You stayed quiet, your mind fluttering from one memory to the next. Things that you had managed to bury deep down reared their heads, bringing up the pain that the man next to you had put you through.

Childe wasn’t a cheater, nor was he abusive. But he was just like his nickname- a child. He was immature, a young boy trying to find his way in a tough world. He wasn’t ready to grow up, and his antics while with you were enough to show that. His irresponsibility was draining, and he still wanted to be free. Not tied down to a girl who was already settled into a 9-5 job, paying rent and buying groceries. During the times you were with Childe, his meals consisted of Monster and fish sticks. Sometimes an apple, if you really, really begged.

Soon, he got tired of being mothered by you.

Really, how could you not sit there and take care of him? You loved Childe- or Ajax, you called him by his real name when you were together. You wanted to make sure he was healthy and alright. You didn’t realize it would be such a nuisance to him.

“Y/n.”

Your name brought you out of your thoughts.

Childe had brought you to your apartment door and was leaning against the opposite wall, his arms crossed.

“Yeah?”

He inhaled. “I- uh, I’m sorry.”

“For?”

“For treating you like shit back then. I was stupid and I was too prideful to realize that I did need your help. Because my life sucked. And us breaking up made me open my eyes, because my attitude and lifestyle drove away the one person who still cared about me.”

You tried not to care, but his words made your heart clench. It was true- God, it was so true how stupid he was. “Why are you telling me this now?”

“I’m telling you this because I’m better now. I’m so, so much better now, but I’m missing something.” He reached out and gently took your hand. You cursed yourself for letting him. “You. I got better so that I could try to get you back. I went to that club every damn day, hoping I’d finally be able to see you and make things right. And now I’ve finally got my chance. Please, Y/N, give me a second chance.”

You chewed on your lip and searched the depths of his eyes, searching for any form of dishonesty in their hues. They were only hopeful. Nervous. His whole body was tense, you noted. Did he really mean this?

Slowly, you nodded.

“You’ve got a lot to prove to me, Childe.”

“Ajax.”

“You’re testing your luck.”

“Right, right, yes ma’am!

[youarejesting]

Hope in the sheets.7

[Masterlist]

Beta: N/A Pairing: Hoseok x Reader Genre: Friendship, Comedy, Soft boy, Fluff, SMUT, Friends2Lovers, Words: 4.4k

Summary: You held many titles: his neighbor, colleague, wing-man… well, more likely a wing-woman, yet most importantly, you were his best friend. You had been friends since you were born. Between the two of you, you were younger; barely, but he never let you forget it. He always seemed to ruffle your hair and tease you, which could get rather annoying but he made up for it by treating you to things.

What if a drunken one night stand between you and your best friend Hoseok leads to more complicated situations? Your reckless twenties are cut short as you find yourself suddenly responsible for something a little more.

Warning: mentions a sex tape, mentions a birth tape

[First] [Previous] [Masterlist] [Next]

 “Ah! Ah! Ah!” This videotape felt dirty, Hoseok wasn’t sure why, but he was sweaty, his heart raced, as he tried to look anywhere but at the screen. The woman on the video kept making noises and heaven forbid he look between her legs. Was it warm in here or was it just him?

“As you can see the birth canal opens up wide to let the babies head come down and out and the shoulder here is the widest part, so you have to be careful to listen to your body otherwise you may tear, so here we go these are the final pushes and then the baby will slip out—”

“Hoseok, Hoseok wake up!” You called alarmed, Hoseok opened his eyes to see you and the birth class instructor standing over him.

“Don’t worry love, there is always one in every class who faints” The woman handed over some ice, “Put this behind his neck it will help slow his heart rate, nerves sometimes get the better of the soon to be dads”

Sitting up Hoseok sat up a little embarrassed, “sorry, I didn’t mean to faint”

“No, Hobi, it’s okay I feel nauseous as hell after that video too.  That looks scary as hell I don’t think I can do it” you whined. “This class traumatized me more than it helped, and what do we get a couple of cookies and some watered down juice. 

“You are so strong and I think you can do it?” Hoseok tried to reassure you and you scoffed. 

“If you're so confident you push the baby out.” Hoseok paled again swaying on the spot and you laid him back down. “You are properly scared aren’t you?”

“I am horrified,” he laughed, “I am a big chicken”

“Honestly, I am scared too but I don’t get a choice Hobi, this baby is inside me and it has to get out somehow." you shiver after confessing the fear that had been building in the back of your mind. “If I wasn’t afraid of surgery I would install the old side door”

The gesture of a flat hand across your stomach made Hoseok smile sadly. He took your hands in his. 

“I’m sorry that you have been dreading this. I will try to be someone who can eliminate your fears, little darling momma” he kissed your head. The instructor called everyone back to the mats and began explaining how to wash a baby and how to hold a baby for the first time. 

It was a fun class but you were happy to get home and rest, biding Hoseok good night. He went quickly to his house where Jimin was sitting waiting for him with a hanging clothes bag. 

“What were you so busy doing that I had to pick up your dry cleaning?”

“Y/n’s birthing class” Hoseok's face turned grave as he adopted a serious tone. “Jimin, don’t ever go to a birthing class. I don’t think I can unsee what I saw.”

“Haha, I’m not that silly, I know where babies come from. I am glad I am a man who likes men, so I will never step foot in a birthing class unless you pay me a large fortune. I mean I could watch someone give birth for money."

Hoseok shivered, making Jimin laugh at his expense. “You look pale, so let's change the subject. I bought Yoongi's old van. He sold it for some new equipment. That means I can get rid of the junk van I was driving before.”

“Can I have your old van?” Hoseok jumped on the opportunity. 

“Uh sure, but I think it’s more money than it’s worth, you can have it for free because it needs new everything.” He shrugged “I was just going to make it scrapped metal”

“Yeah I can fix it up, I got some money lying around.” Hoseok yawned, “anyway thank you so much for getting my suit. I have my first day of work tomorrow, so I should go to bed early”

“Alright, but tomorrow night celebratory drinks for your first day?” Jimin clutched his shoulder. 

“Of course,” Hoseok laughed, waving goodbye and carrying the suit to his apartment. 

“Hey man, how was your day?” Jimin shouted from his newly acquired van from Yoongi. “Get in, we can celebrate tonight” 

Jimin drove Hoseok home under strict orders to grab a nice change of clothes so the two could get ready at his house and go out celebrating Hoseok’s new job. Hoseok took the stairs two at a time leading to his apartment, his hand brushing past your old door. He missed you. He missed having you at his work, at his home, at his leisure. You two were inseparable and yet torn apart by the stages of life.

Hoseok had assumed you both would be single and somewhere in your mid-thirties you would just get married to one another for convenience. He grabbed some clothes and found the blacklight outfit you had bought for him, he pushed it aside trying to move on for just a moment. 

Instead, he grabbed a classic black button-up and a pair of black dress pants. He placed the items in a bag and headed back down to Jimin waiting excitedly in the driver's seat. He drove them across town singing along to the radio and pulled into the driveway of a beautiful home. Jimin was a sugar baby and so he accumulated a lot of money with ease.

Jimin picked up the package by his doorstep curiously and read the name, his face broke out into a smile. Opening the box he found a beautiful pair of earrings. Hoseok paused, knowing Jimin had been talking about these types of earrings for a long time, but these ones looked handmade and a little cheap, not from a brand-name store like most of Jimin’s other clients would buy.

“They are so cute,” Jimin smiled, lifting the note, reading it aloud. “I don’t have money, so I don’t ask for much, it would just be a waste of your time. Even with this, I still want you to know that I think you are really sweet the way you always help others and never forget to share compliments to those who catch your eye. I will never forget how kind and funny, you are especially at work. The way you run your fingers through your hair unconsciously, how you pout when you think, the way you can glide across the dance floor with drinks without spilling anything. You disappear behind the bar with the cutest laugh and I am completely in love with you.”

“You have an admirer,” Hoseok looked over his shoulder at the letter before asking, “I wonder who it is?”

“I am not sure who it could be?” Jimin frowned, taking the box into a spare room filled with gifts. “They seem really nice”

Once the letter was placed carefully in the room, Jimin stepped out and decided to get dressed for the night. He paused in the doorway walking back and taking the earrings. “Even though they are cheap I think I should at least wear them.”

The two got changed and Jimin posed, “take a picture of me looking over my shoulder, so I can post a picture of the earrings on my Insta”

Hoseok picked up his phone and stepped behind Jimin, ready to take the picture of Jimin’s bare shoulder, earring, and side profile. He stopped when his phone came up with the stupid storage message.

Storage full!

You can free up space on this phone by managing your storage in settings.

“I can’t take a picture,” Hoseok sighed. “My phone storage is full”

“It’s okay, I should put on a bit of makeup to make the picture really pretty. While I do that, use my computer to plug it in and delete stuff. You can save the rest onto a USB, which you will find in the top draw. The USBs should be empty.

Hoseok watched Jimin stroll into the bathroom and thought he might as well take care of this storage issue on the phone. Plugging the device in, Hoseok began going through and deleting memes and stupid screenshots he no longer needed. He went through saving many photos of you, and videos the two of you shared together.

That's when he came across the picture of the two of you dressed in your black light outfits. Both of you looking happy together in the mirror. Hoseok saved the photo to the USB. The next was a blurry picture on the dance floor, he didn’t need that.

Deleting a range of blurred photos, Hoseok kept swiping through them until he came across a video of you and Hoseok walking home. He heard you giggling and unconsciously smiled. He honestly was so in love with you.

There were a few more blurred videos and then there was a video of you two laying in Hoseok’s bed. His heart started to race as he watched you lean down and kiss him in the video. Hoseok couldn’t remember any of this.

The next video was of you removing your dress but it continued, sometimes the phone was just left on the bed face down, at other points, it was lifted and Hoseok heard himself talking as he pointed the camera at you underneath him. “I love you.” He had filmed you while you two were having sex, “I love being inside of you too.”

Hoseok felt a little guilty, while you two were drunk he took a video of you both, not only that but he felt as if he took advantage of you. The next video was taken from behind and Hoseok felt ashamed of himself for the stirring in his pants. 

“Are you watching porn?” Jimin laughed from the next room, confused as Hoseok switched to the next video. The two of you were cuddling on your side, Hoseok being the big spoon. 

Hoseok's face fell. What had he just watched? His head was reeling with so many thoughts that he couldn’t process them fast enough. He understood that it was you in the video, and you were with him. It was that night. Were you his dream girl? “I slept with Y/n?” He blurted and like being hit with a truck he came to a shocking revelation. Hoseok shot to his feet and spoke out loud hoping it would help him make sense of the situation, “Am I, I think, I might be the father?”

“Oh, Finally!” Jimin shouted, his voice carrying into the office. “I have been waiting for you to figure it all out”

“What do you mean?” Hoseok said his stomach was feeling sick, he didn’t know if he wanted to vomit or cry. The betrayal setting in, “How did you know? DID SHE KNOW?”

Jimin stepped into the room, his lips pressed together in a thin line, with a look of pity on his face confirming Hoseok's suspicion. Hoseok got up, his eyes flashing around the room in a panic. He pushed past Jimin and grabbed the old set of keys from the countertop. Hoseok escaped and drove fast. He didn’t have a destination in mind but after a few minutes of driving he ended up at a park by Han River.

Shutting off the engine, Hoseok let his hands fall from the wheel, his head resting back against the seat, letting out a loud guttural shout. He let the tears fall freely as his sobs racked his body, every breath catching in his throat as if he was choking. 

Hoseok wanted to scream, he wanted answers. They all knew. You knew. He thought he was your best friend, someone he trusted with all his secrets, and yet you kept something this big from him. The sick feeling in his stomach grew as did his anger and frustration with the situation.

How long were you going to keep this from him? When the baby was born? When the child was eighteen? Never? He had a right to know but all he wanted to know was why. 

He left the vehicle, his phone ringing with your number but he turned it off. He walked to the nearest bar somewhere dark and quiet and he drank until he couldn’t see his hands. 

“Hey mate you have to go, come on get up.” The bartender said, nudging him with an exaggerated sigh, “Mate can I call someone to come get you?”

“No one, my best friend is a liar, she is pregnant and didn’t even tell me it is my child,” Hoseok mumbled into the table. The bartender sighed again reaching into his pocket, “Who do you want me to call mate?”

“No need to call, I will go,” he said, pulling out his keys only to have them snatched from his hand. Hoseok turned to see Yoongi grabbing Hoseok’s things and thanking the bartender. “What do you want?”

“I got a distressed call from Y/n she is hysterical, I have checked in every bar and searched the nearby streets for Jimin’s old van. Yoongi threw the keys to Jimin who was waiting by the abandoned van and Yoongi scooped Hoseok inside.

Hoseok woke as Yoongi turned the key in the ignition they were headed for his home, but Hoseok had other plans. “You knew didn’t you?” Hoseok growled, “Take me to her."

“Not in this state?” Yoongi said definitely. “You are going to sober up, and then tomorrow you can speak with her.”

“You take me there right now, or I will get out of this car and go there myself!” Hoseok demanded, attempting to remove his seatbelt.

“Alright, alright sit down, I will take you to see her, but if you raise your voice at her I will knock you out and drag you back to your apartment." Yoongi turned to Hoseok with a menacing glare. "Do you understand?”

He nodded needing answers and he wasn't going to stop until you gave them to him. They pulled up outside your home and as he walked to the door he felt as if his legs were weak, ready to give way. He knocked with shaking hands.

He didn’t have to wait long for you to pull open the door eyes pink and swollen from your own tears.

"Hobi, I-" 

"Please don’t talk, you had your chance. This whole time, and you didn’t… You didn’t tell me, little darling.” His voice cracked as he held up a hand to stop you, “it’s my turn to talk, you can listen to me.”

He watched you wipe the tears away, he wanted to comfort you, you were his closest friend. He loved you so much and couldn’t bear to see you upset. “You knew we had sex, you knew what we did and you hid that from me, you fell pregnant and you hid that from me?”

“I told you when I lost my virginity, I told you when I scratched my dad’s car, I told you when I took money from my fathers wallet, or when I stole your homework. I told you when I was moving from home, I told you everything good and bad.” Hoseok pulled out the phone and played the video, the sounds of you two together filling the air. “But you couldn’t tell me, your best friend, that we did this? That I might be the father of this baby?”

“Hobi, I wanted to tell you I was-” Your tears were relentless and it looked like the weight of the world was crushing you with guilt. You looked lost, he knew there must be so much you wanted to say and explain but the words escaped you. All you could think to do was apologize, like some sort of animatronic doll with one function.

“Wanted to tell me isn’t telling me,” he frowned. “Say it, is this baby mine?”

“Yes, you are the father?” You whimpered, holding your stomach. Hoseok didn’t feel better. He didn’t feel better confronting you or getting the truth. He didn’t feel better watching you cry. “I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. You are all I have Hobi, and I love you.”

“I thought I loved you too. I thought I really truly loved you, that even though I wasn’t the father, I would step in if I could. It turns out the woman I fell in love with is nothing but a liar.” Hoseok turned away unable to see your face contort in pain from the words he was saying, “I am disappointed in you. You said you wanted to grow up, but this is so immature”

Demanding to leave, Yoongi took Hoseok and headed to the van once more, hoping that the two of you could rebuild your relationship. It was painfully obvious that you both were painfully in love, so much so, that it was breaking your hearts more to fight with one another, than over whatever the fight was about.

You had spent the rest of the night crying until pure exhaustion took over your body and you fell asleep. No matter how many times you texted or called you got no response. You had left almost fifteen voicemails before you became too hysterical to speak. You were emotional and trying your hardest not to break down long enough for you to think things through. 

It took four days and sitting in the bottom of the shower for ten minutes before you came to a decision. Even before Hoseok knew he was the father, you had planned to do it on your own. You weren't weak and you knew for certain that you would be okay. You had planned to raise this child as a single mother, you had hoped to tell Hoseok before all this happened, but you had planned for it just in case something like this did happen.

You could do this without Hoseok, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt, that you weren't mourning the relationship you had lost. You picked yourself up and put on a brave face crying only when you were alone as you single-handedly funded Ben and Jerry's company with the amount of ice cream you consumed.

You arrived at the next prenatal appointment. You watched all the couples cooing at their bellies and the little sonogram photos, as you sat alone quietly rubbing your belly and thinking how much you loved this child.

It strengthened your bond between you and your baby. You were working hard at your job, not ready to go on maternity leave as you didn’t know how financially stable you would be. You also worried because, without the distractions of work, you realized how alone you truly were and how much you missed Hoseok.

You wanted nothing more than to go back in time and take it all back. You wanted to get the courage and tell him. You would give anything to wake up beside him the morning after and just let yourselves deal with the aftermath.

Your mother's words echoed in your head, only able to be drowned out by the sound of your baby's heartbeat through the doppler, as the ultrasound technician measured your sweet little baby girl.

She had done no wrong and deserved only good things. It was on your way home from the scan that you decided to enter the baby boutique. You knew you were filling a Hoseok shaped void in your chest but you didn’t care, purchasing clothes, socks and shoes, and a tiny beanie all in mint green, white, or grey. At the checkout, you saw a small personal travel doppler for eighty dollars. It wasn’t as strong or as reliable as the one at the clinic but you bought it anyway. 

It was the first thing you did when you got home, you put the gel on your stomach and pressed the doppler to your tummy, and listened to the tiny heartbeat and the swishing of the umbilical cord. The tears didn’t stop and that heartbeat in your belly was the mantra to which you swore to live your new life.

You were no longer living for yourself, you were living for your daughter, whom you loved so dearly. You stopped looking for Hoseok through the seventh and moved into the eighth month of your pregnancy feeling semi-okay.

Called by the marketing director to meet with the client, you followed him with documents, “Why did you pick me?” you asked

“You are the only one fit for this job,” He said, which made you feel odd, surely the pregnant lady wasn’t the first choice. However, you obeyed his orders, grabbed your coat, and followed to the restaurant where you were met with an unbelievable sight. 

There was Hoseok standing by a beautiful woman dressed in a suit. Not only was it a punch to the chest, but it also left you self-conscious, resembling a chocolate egg. The way your body was so rotund did not do wonders for one's self-esteem.

Hoseok didn’t notice you until you stepped up to the table, your director announcing your arrival and greeting the young woman with a kiss on each cheek. “This is my hardest working assistant Miss Y/n,” The director said and you wondered again why he had chosen you to accompany him to the meeting.

“Well let’s get to business” the client smiled. You sat at the table and they brought out menus. “I will have the salmon en papillote, with a nice chardonnay.” 

“I will have the same,” the marketing director said, attempting to look cool but you weren’t so sure.

“We will have the Steak au Poivre, I will take medium rare and she will have hers well done. What is in the side salad?” Hoseok asked and you looked up over the menu shocked by his audacity.

“We use a mesclun mix for its various colors and textures, with Lebanese cucumbers and avocado for a fresh and creamy taste and a drizzle of classic french vinaigrette” the waiter smiled politely. 

“Skip the salads and instead vegetables would be preferable for both.” Hoseok closed the menu and looked up, the waiter looked at you for confirmation and you nodded handing over the menu.

“Have you two met before?” The client asked curiously and Hoseok shook his head, “It’s just you ordered for her?”

“She is pregnant so the best meat option is beef well cooked, and the salad would most likely make her sick due to the acidity in the vinaigrette.” Hoseok continued,  “the vegetables, though plain, will be easier to handle and will benefit her better than a salad. It is something I learned in a birthing class once”

“Yeah, and you haven’t been back since.” You scoffed, drinking your water trying to calm yourself so you didn’t explode with anger.

“I didn’t think I had to, seeing as I am not the father of any children.” He said dryly back and you stood up throwing the napkin at him, tears welling up in your eyes. You didn’t care if he didn’t like you and refused to acknowledge your presence ever again, but saying that about your child was not okay.

“You take that back, Hoseok." You almost shouted but restrained yourself due to the setting, Hoseok didn’t appear to move and you tilted your head back and took a shaky breath. “I am sorry, it seems I am feeling ill, allow me to leave first”

You stepped out the door and headed down the road trying to find a cab when a hand grabbed your arm. Disappointed when it turned out to be the marketing director. “I rescheduled our meeting, I am sorry, you had to deal with something like this, it must be stressful being so pregnant”

He touched your belly and you were a little uncomfortable. This man was a little too interested in your pregnancy. At first, you thought he was just a nice boss who was looking out for you, but it was clear he had some strange thoughts running through his mind.

When he said he would drive you home, you told him you had an appointment. Even then he was determined to take you to the appointment, but you waved down a cab and jumped in quickly. You arrived at Jin and Tonic for a much-needed appointment.

“I want a drink” you sighed and Seokjin gave you water and you looked up seriously. I want an actual drink Jin, I am going through the worst year of my life.”

“Worse than the time you tried to become a volunteer at a homeless center, where some weird lady cut chunks out of your hair, so you had to shave it off?"

"Then you got into a fight with Hoseok because he drew an arrow on your head while you were sleeping and everyone called you Aang,” Jimin added as he shed his small jacket, showing off a pretty choker chain necklace with a rose pendant. “Cause you said that was the worst year of your life.”

“This is worse,” you said. “At least I was the one angry at Hobi and I forgave him quickly, now he is angry at me and even denied being the father of our baby. That’s not even the worst of it. My boss has some sort of pregnancy fetish and keeps trying to touch my belly and I am not here for it”

“Pregnancy fetish?”

“It’s not sexy, I am swollen from the neck down, I couldn’t see my feet this morning. I just hope I wore the same shoes. My bladder is so squished I am peeing all the time, I am hormonal and sweaty, and I can’t fit into my favorite pajamas.” The hysterical sobbing was muffled by the bar and it made Jimin giggle behind his hand. He walked around to give you a hug and Jin presented you with an ice cream sundae in an effort to cheer you up.

“Dance with me, pretty lady,” Yoongi said, finishing his drink and taking your hand. He led you to the dance floor where you were slow dancing like you used to. “You are still as pretty as always. Okay, you may not feel beautiful right now due to all those things, but I promise that you are.”

“Thanks, Yoongi.” You tried to get close enough to hug Yoongi but your belly prevented you from doing so, he stepped behind you and wrapped his arms around you slipping his hands under your belly and swaying. He was trying to take some of the weight to relieve some pressure on your back. “You are amazing,”

“I am, aren't I.” He laughed, swaying you softly.

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[aliwritesfic]

The Night Shift part 7 (F!Reader x Frankie Morales)

Summary: Sunday lunch with the nightcrew bois, what secrets will come out?

Warnings: Emotional abuse

W/C: 1.9k

Spotify

Part 1 Part 8

The sun was too fucking bright. You groaned and rolled over, mouth dry and head pounding. Your phone told you it was almost eleven, which meant you only had an hour to get ready. That was okay, though. You weren’t exactly dressing to impress. It was only Manny and Frankie . . . Frankie.With a wince, you remembered your conversation with him last night. Had it been painfully obvious that you were talking about yourself? Surely not, if he was drunk too. But as you showered, you thought about what he said, and realised that he was right. At least, he was right about what you could remember him saying. Leaving Kurt wouldn’t mean you would be alone and unloved. You had Manny and Sara; you knew they loved you. But that didn’t change that if you left, you’d have nowhere to go. You had never been the type of person to ask for handouts, especially sympathy handouts. There was just too much to think about.

A text from your phone from Sara told you as much as you needed to know about her night went.

Manifestation WORKS 😉 sent 8:34AM

You spent a few extra minutes washing your face, enjoying the feel of cool water on your skin. Flecks of makeup that you had slept in swirled down the drain, grey and black and blue. Tiny bits of glitter glinted on your cheeks, reminding you of days past when you would drown yourself in glitter to go out clubbing. The memory made you smile, remembering how carefree and happy you were just a few years ago.

Grabbing your darkest pair of sunglasses, you were ready to go. You hadn’t bothered with styling your hair beyond running a quick brush through, and your face was devoid of makeup aside from any remnants left from last night.

It was a quick walk to the bistro, your stomach roiling the entire time. You knew it was food you needed; you had already thrown up several times last night after arriving home. The thought of filling your stomach spurred you on, your feet moving slightly faster. You whipped out your phone to text Manny.

Get. Bread. Please.

There were a few unread messages from Kurt. You knew that avoiding him was immature and would only come back to bite you on the ass when he came home, but the thought of opening them and actually reading them made you feel ill. And he would know when you opened them; he complained whenever you turned your read receipts off. So, you kept them on, to keep the peace, and just avoided opening his messages until you were ready to deal with them.

The bistro came into view, and you saw Manny already sitting at your usual table on the outside terrace. You sat down gingerly next to him and flashed him a weak smile.

“You look terrible,” he said gleefully, pushing a basket of bread and butter your way. You grabbed a small roll and broke it open, inhaling the warm scent.

“I feelterrible,” you told him. “Hangovers don’t suit me.”

Manny laughed ruffled your hair. You groaned loudly, swatting his hand away, which only made him laugh harder.

“Lover, I’ve never seen you in this kind of state before, let me tease you a little,” he said. You flipped him off and ate another roll.

“Is Frankie here yet?” You asked, trying to keep the hope out of your voice. Judging by the look on Manny’s face, you had failed miserably.

“Crushing on the cook, are we?” He waggled his brows.

“No! Of course not!” You said quickly. Liar a tiny voice whispered in your ear. “I was just wondering if he got the right place.”

“Well, wonder no longer, that’s him isn’t it?”

From your spot on the terrace, you could see the familiar figure walking down the shady street to the bistro. Your palms dampened with sweat at the sight of him.

“Francisco!” Manny called, waving him over. Frankie broke into a half jog, raising his arm in a wave. You sunk slightly in your seat, praying that he wouldn’t bring up your conversation with him last night.

“How’s your hangover treating you?” Frankie asked, taking a seat at the table.

“Fucking terribly,” you said, “this is not at all what I was promised last night when I did my fourth shot.” Manny snorted and turned to the waitress who had appeared at your table.

“Good afternoon, dearest Andrea,” Manny said.

“Manny, hun, you know I hate when you use my full name,” Andi, as she preferred to be called, said. You liked Andi, she a couple years younger than you and working her way through a master’s in engineering. “What are we all having today?”

“My usual, please,” Manny said.

“The greasiest thing on the menu for me, I don’t care what it is,” you said. Andy smiled at you in sympathy, knowing the tell-tale signs of a hangover. She then turned to Frankie.

“I don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure of meeting before,” she said, her voice suddenly an octave higher.

“Francisco, or Frankie if you like,” he said. “Can I have the alfredo?”

“Of course, Frankie, anything else I can get for you?”

You and Manny glanced at each other, Manny with his eyebrow slightly raised. You knew Andi was a flirt, you’d seen her flirt with customers dozens of times, but something about this felt different. Personal. You chewed the inside of your lip, hoping your annoyance didn’t show too plainly on your face.

“So, what didyou do last night, lover?” Manny turned to you once Andi left.

“Drank too much,” you said. “Kurt’s out of town and Sara’s in town so I . . . I could go out. And I saw Frankie and his friends out.”

“Are your friends all as gorgeous as you?” Manny asked, turning to Frankie who blushed deeply.

“I wouldn’t say I’m gorgeous,” he mumbled, adjusting his cap slightly. “I’m just average.”

“Gorgeous and humble,” Manny said, “your partner is a lucky person.”

“I’m not- I uh don’t- I’m not with anyone,” it dawned on you that Frankie was terrible at taking compliments.

“Maybe it’s my personal bias, but out of all his friends, Frankie is truly the most attractive of them,” you said. You knew this could lead to something dangerous, but the chance to see Frankie flustered was just too good to miss.

“Yo-you do?” he asked, turning an even deeper shade of red. You nodded seriously.

“Whoever you date in future is going to be very lucky,” Manny said. Then, never one to linger on a topic for too long, Manny took a sip of his water and declared that it was feelings time.

“Feelings time?” Frankie sounded uncertain.

“Well, neither of us can afford therapy, so we use each other as therapists,” Manny explained. “We started it when I was working at Lou’s, and it’s been so long since I’ve had a good feelings time. Of course, you don’t have to participate if you don’t want to, and if you do want, keep it as light or as heavy as your heart tells you. Consent is key.”

Frankie nodded, obviously still unsure of the whole situation. It struck you then how strange you and Manny would seem to an outsider. Andi returned with food for the three of you, placing down the biggest burger you had laid eyes on in front of you.

“Enjoy,” she said with a wink to Frankie. “Come find me personally if you’re not satisfied.”

You could’ve thrown up at the blatant flirting. What made it worse was Frankie seemed to be enjoying it, smiling up at Andi.

“I’ll start,” Manny said, once Andi was gone again. “I’m feeling overwhelmed recently with my new job and the house renovations James and I are undertaking. We had a big fight over fucking tiles last night, and I know we wouldn’t have if I could just be decisive.”

“Does James know how you’re feeling?” You asked. Manny shrugged.

“I don’t know. I’d normally tell him about it in a heartbeat, but he’s been stressed too, and I don’t want to add to it.”

“He’s your husband, right?” Frankie asked and Manny nodded. You glanced at him in surprise. “Husbands should support each other. You usually feel supported by him, right? So why is now any different? His stress is your stress, yours is his. That’s what you signed up for when you got married.”

“Yeah, you shouldn’t be afraid to tell him what’s going on with you,” you said, realising how ironic that was coming from you.

Manny looked thoughtful as he cut into his vegetable stack. “You’ve given me a lot to think about. Now your turn, lover.” You groaned. Feelings time was fine when you were listening to other people, and when the feelings you had weren’t so messy. But you could filter your feelings, and you trusted the two men you sat with.

“Okay,” you took a deep breath. “Okay, I’m feeling like I want to end my relationship. I feel like I’m fucking miserable, but I also feel like I’m trapped. Frankie, you remember that friend I told you about last night? It’s actually me.”

“I know.”

“You know?”

“Yeah, it was pretty obvious, but I didn’t wanna make you uncomfortable by saying that.”

“Oh, my god,” you rubbed your face. “Right. So, like I said, I want to break up with Kurt, but it’s not easy to do.” You waited for one of them to interrupt you, when they didn’t, you went on. “For one, I don’t have enough money to move out. I don’t have much in savings at all because I keep needing to dig into it when he’s short on rent or money for bills or whatever. I don’t love him anymore, I don’t even know if I like him. Also, he said hedkillhimselfifieverleft.”

“Excuse me, he said what?” Manny leant forward, rage curdling his usually placid face. Frankie too, looked furious.

“He said he would kill himself if I ever left,” your voice was small. “I tried, one time, and-and he sent me a video of him tying a noose to a ceiling fan telling me it was my fault he was doing that. So, I went back, because I don’t want his death on my hands.” You realised with growing humiliation that you were crying.

Manny reached across the table and took your hand, holding it gently. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t want to bother anyone,” you said, “it was my problem to deal with.”

“When does he come back?” Frankie asked quietly.

“Tomorrow,” you said. Manny and Frankie exchanged a look and Manny nodded.

“If you let us,” Manny said carefully, “we’re gonna help you get out. We won’t force you into anything, but we want to help.”

“Wait,” you sat back, confused, “wait. Have you too been conspiring behind my back? How? When?”

“No, not til this morning. I gave Frankie my number when I first met him, in case he had any questions. Then he messaged me this morning, and we got to talking about how we can help you.”

“If you want our help,” Frankie said. Part of you felt like you should’ve been angry, but you couldn’t be. Instead, you were overwhelmed with gratitude, with love. You grabbed a napkin and dabbed at your eyes under your sunglasses.

“I think I want help,” you said finally. You knew you couldn’t do this without help, even though it embarrassed you to admit that. Frankie nodded, satisfied.

“Alright, we need to make a plan.”

Taglist: @hnt-escape @sharkbait77 @1800-fight-me @annathewitch @darnitdraco @frankiecatfish @punkerthanpascal @nakhudanyx @gracie7209

[yn-rollcall]

Momento Bakugo x Reader: Ch. 5

First Chapter

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Summary: So I was always told to look on the bright side. The bright side is that I’m finally meeting the Number One and Two pro-heroes Deku and Dynamight. The downside is that I was publicly dragged out of my job for a string of robberies that I did not commit and am being detained for questioning.

Length: 1.5k

Warnings: Oral Sex, Food Kink, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Mirror Sex, Quirk Kink (My Hero Academia), Shameless Smut, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Rough Sex, Emotional Constipation, Chocolate Syrup, Fluff, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotional Manipulation, Temperature Play, Hate Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Attempted Sexual Assault, Blood and Injury, Heavy Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Panty Kink, Semi-Public Sex, Creampie, Bondage, Body Worship, Light Dom/sub, Daddy Kink, Pegging, Public Masturbation, Office Sex, Wank and Tell, Polyamory, So like at the very very end there’s KatsukixReaderxKirishima, But it happens so last minute I don’t feel justified tagging it as one of the main relationships, Constructive Criticism Welcome

A03

Wattpad

The rest of the week passed by in a blur. After breaking the silence, Bakugo and I texted back and forth constantly. He also made a point of walking me home. We haven't called each other since a few days ago but really there's no need to. I saw him at least once a day at this point, even if it's brief. All the way up to the main event. Our date. Memories of Katsuki asking me out floated around in my head as I washed my face. It was a date right? It had to be. When I walked out of the bathroom, I saw Iris staring off into space in the living room.

She's been doing that alot lately. I've tried asking what's wrong but she'd brush me off, pretending she isn't acting weird. Apparently my concern was starting to annoy her because she started resorting to threats. Last time, she threatened to put a bunch of Dynamight merch in my room and send a picture to him if I kept asking. Not that it stopped me from showing concern. Well okay, it did stop me for like a day but I got over it. I headed to my room and got dressed in my pajamas. I considered talking to Iris again but decided to leave it alone. She'll tell me when she's ready and my head is elsewhere anyway. I haven't been on a date in years and I have to have the capacity to act normal tomorrow. I laid down and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

The sun streaked through my curtains and I sat up with a yawn. I checked my phone. it was around 10:30. If I wanna put makeup on, I better get up. I rolled over and shuffled to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Iris' snores filtered through the wall, so I try to make sure I'm quiet to let her sleep. After brushing my teeth, I stared into my closet, trying to decide my outfit. I reached for a shirt just before a dull buzz came from my bed. I plucked the shirt and tossed it on my chair before checking my phone.

Sparky:

People often ask me how I manage to smuggle chocolate into movie theatres

Let's just say, I have a few Twix up my sleeve...

He sent a picture of a twix bar in his hand. I rolled my eyes, unable to contain my smile.

Y/N:

Is this your way of being excited about the movie?

Sparky:

Yes, and I know you're smiling so go ahead and send a picture.

Y/N:

And spoil the reveal?? Never. I don't think you're ready for Casual Clothes Y/N.

Sparky:

I don't think you're ready for my casual either.

Y/N:

I just hope you evolved from your church shoes era. That was sad.

Sparky:

One day, I'm gonna find your middle school pictures and we'll see who's laughing.

I sincerely hope he doesn't

Y/N:

Chill out. Aren't heroes supposed to be nice?

Sparky:

Never said I was.

I smiled and tossed the phone, making a last minute decision on my outfit. Iris woke up on my way out and quickly got dressed.

"You in a hurry?" I asked, putting on my shoes.

"Uh I'm not missing the chance to give you the pep talk of the century." She said, throwing on a wig.

"I don't need a pep talk babe, go back to sleep." I said, shooing her back inside.

"So you're not nervous about going on a date for the first time in two years with one of the top pro-heroes?" She said, her face full of doubt.

I wanted to lie but the sweat on my palms and back said otherwise. I'm gonna need a towel before I even get there. She got finished and draped her arm over my shoulder peppering pep talks in between jokes. It felt nice to have her act like her normal self and the pep talk was admittedly helping alot. Just before I crossed the platform she gave me a thumbs up.

"Text me if you need the apartment to yourself." She said, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Please stop." Carefully trying not to imagine the possibility.

"Nope." She said with a pop. "Seriously though, text me when you're coming back okay?"

"Alright, I will." I reassured her as I boarded the train.

Bakugo offered to pick me up but honestly I wasn't sure if I could handle being alone with him in a car AND a movie theatre. I got off the platform and saw Bakugo before he saw me. He wore a black hoodie with orange designs swirling over it, the sleeves pushed up to his elbows, paired with dark skinny jeans. I looked down at his shoes. They're black shoes with orange trim and they look new. His ears had black studs embedded and he had a few silver rings on his fingers. It was a simple outfit but fuck it worked . Seeing him without the hero suit made him a person. An incredibly handsome person who makes me nervous. Maybe I really wasn't ready for casual Bakugo. He saw me and paused, eyes wide.

I wore an orange, off the shoulder, fuzzy sweater paired with thigh highs and a short black skirt. Given that his eyes lingered on my thighs, operation Look-At-My-Gams was a success. My stompy boots are black, worn-out and from a thrift store but he used to wear church shoes so I'll roast him if he mentions it. I wore black eyeliner with an orange stripe over it and kept the rest of the makeup subtle. Lastly, I finished it off by styling my hair so he could see my explosion earrings. I also had the Dynamight pin from my bag hanging off my purse. He recovered and gave me his signature smirk. As I walked closer he touched the earrings.

"It's getting harder for you to deny being a fan." He smirked

"Is the guy who begged me to stroke his ego really looking a gift horse in the mouth?" I replied, crossing my arms.

"Don't worry, I'm wearing fan merch too." He said.

I tilted my head, confused as to what he meant when he pulled the hoodie off. I saw a peek of his abs and the full reveal of his arms was murder on my heart rate. He wore a t-shirt with a white silhouette of a girl hovering above the ground, with cars and little white debris floating around her. Gravity girl was lined by the cracks in the pavement below the silhouette. It was kind of cool and also weird considering I'm not getting paid for merch.

"You got my merch?" I said with a slow smile.

"Yup. It's a good shirt. And Gravity Girl happens to be cool."

"She is pretty dope." I agreed with a smile.

He pulled his hoodie back on and reached for my hand. I was certain he could feel my heart beating because the second he grabbed my hand, he smirked. I laced my fingers through his, ignoring his eyes on me. I can pretend it's casual and that I've done this a million times if I don't look at him. He gave my hand a squeeze and guided me to the movie theatre. We entered the cool theatre and found our seats. I leaned towards him.

"So, big bad Bakugo likes cartoon movies eh?" I snickered.

"Big Bad Bakugo likes quality movies of any kind." He replied in a low voice.

"Quit owning your interests. I'm trying to tease you." I gave him a light shove on his arm.

"There are way more effective ways to tease me." He murmured.

"You want me so bad it's embarrassing." I joked with a shit-eating grin.

He paused for a moment. "I really fucking do." He replied in a low growl.

My breath caught in my throat.

Y/N used Deflection. It was not effective. AT ALL.

"Y'know, Chargebolt talked to me about what seeing Hitoshi in his merch did to him and I didn't get it." He murmured. "I thought he was just being Denki but seeing you in my colors . Knowing your damn outfit was with me in mind..."

I looked up at him, my breath caught in my throat. His eyes shone with lust as the theatre darkened for the previews. I could almost see what he wanted to do. When his eyes flicked to my skirt, I rubbed my thighs together, suddenly self-conscious. I looked away, my breath shaky. The usual theatre message started about turning off your phones and being polite. I couldn't concentrate on that because I felt a rough calloused hand, snaking up my thigh.

Bakugo leaned in, lips lightly touching my ear. "Let me show you how to tease, sweetheart." He whispered.

His hand moved agonizingly slow over the expanse of my thigh. I couldn't hear the damn trailers over my heartbeat. My body was hot and if he got any closer to my pannies he'd know I was soaked. He kneaded my thigh, rubbing his calloused thumb in soft circles while moving closer and closer to my center. The gentle scratching of his rough palms made me shiver. The sensation pulled scenarios from my brain where I felt those hands everywhere. Panic buzzed at the back of my throat because I knew if he touched me, I'd lose it. But I didn't want to lose and I didn't want this game of chicken to end.

He's moving so slow and watching my face. I'm trying to keep a calm mask but I'm breathing way too hard, way too fast. Everywhere he touched sent shockwaves of lust into my body. I fucking wanted him. I get it. I'm crazy too, he's driving me crazy too. His hand edged closer and closer until he's right there . He moved his pinky and all of a sudden it's like cold water is doused on me.

Different hands.

Smoother.

Thinner.

Completely unwanted.

Hopeless. He won't stop. He never stops.

A calloused hand touched my cheek and I looked at Bakugo, tears welling in my eyes. I looked down and I saw my hands death-gripping his. Blood was starting to form where my nails were digging in. I let go, feeling embarrassment wash over me. There are at least seven people between me and the nearest bathroom. Seven people between me and pretending this didn't happen.

Fuck I'm gonna cry

Fuck. Fuck. FUCK.

"I'm sorry." Bakugo murmured. "I didn't mean-"

Please DO NOT apologize to me right now, that's gonna make it WORSE.

"It's fine." I said through gritted teeth trying to hold my tears back.

Bakugo winced and withdrew, leaning away from me. I know he's thinking it's his fault. I know there's a misunderstanding happening. But I can't fucking correct it right now. Not without explaining. Not without crying . I might cry anyway. Dammit. My hands shook from the effort of gripping my thighs while I tried so hard to stop those damn drops of water from falling from my eyes. I saw Bakugo lean down from my peripheral. Eye movement means crying, I'm not that curious. A few moments later a black hoodie was gently set in my lap. I glanced over to him, he was looking directly at the screen. Giving me privacy. He quickly glanced at me and then glanced back at the screen.

"I won't look." He said softly.

I think I fucking love him.

I took the hoodie, with shaky hands and let the tears fall. He's not looking, no one is looking at me. I can be a little shameless. I sniffed the hoodie and held it close. It wasn't a Dynamight hug but it was just as good. Better even. The shame-filled thoughts about my brokenness swirled but didn't have any weight next to his kind gesture. My emotions finally settled into a calmer state and I began to enjoy the movie. The main character was starting their journey, a little lost but some people are willing to help.

Then I started crying again because found family shit gets me literally every time. I looked over to Bakugo who was also tearing up. I wish I didn't freak out earlier so I could make fun of him for it. I went back and forth from watching the movie to watching him. Seeing his face go through a range of emotions alone was good enough to pay for. At every shock and twist, I looked at him and his face was exactly what I was feeling. We should watch this movie again, alone, so we can joke around and talk. The movie ended and we all filed out. Bakugo stayed silent, carefully avoiding touching me as we walked out of the theatre. I had to tell him or else he's gonna feel like shit.

"Bakugo." I said, my voice creaky.

He didn't turn around but he stopped. His hands clenched in his pocket.

"Thank you for the hoodie. I really needed it."

He glanced at me, sighed and looked away. "It's the least I could do after..." He trailed off, grimacing.

He looked at me, apology on the cusp of his lips and I held my hand out, stopping him. I took a deep breath, summoning all my gusto which was definitely at less than half tank at the moment.

"Congratulations! You, Good Sir, have unlocked the tragic backstory!" To engage, touch the right hand, to decline touch the left! Clock is ticking!" I announced in a cheery voice.

Bakugo gave me a weird look and touched my right hand. My smile dropped to a much weaker version and I swallowed hard.

"If that's your choice, then we should find somewhere private to talk." I said weakly, not able to keep up the announcer voice.

Bakugo took my hand and walked me to his car. We drove in silence and the more we drove the more I regretted my decision. I could probably back out but, I think I want to say it. I think I need to say it. Finally the car rolled to a stop, at the top of a hill overlooking the city. Bakugo got out and closed the door behind him. I followed suit. He sat down next to the railing at the end of the hill. I did the same. The hill was a beautiful view overlooking the city. I watched cars drive off into the growing sunset and people peacefully living their lives below. I couldn't tell you how long we sat there, whether it was a few minutes or an hour. I was busy debating whether I was really ready to let him know everything. Or if I even could. I wasn't but I'll do what I can.

"Before moving here, I was with my ex for two years." I started, feeling those boxes of emotion started to bubble up. "He...wasn't a good guy."

The wind blew, wafting more of his salty caramel scent towards me. I used that to keep going.

"I don't remember much about the relationship. And when I do, its..really bad. So I try not to think about it." I gripped his sweater.

"So, when I touched you earlier. It reminded you of him?" He said softly. "Do I...remind you of-"

"No." I said firmly. "You're nothing like him. You're..."

Unexpectedly Sweet. Thoughtful. Arrogant. Warm. Easily Irritated. Sexy. Deliberate. Corny. Cheesy. Handsome.

I glanced at him, thoughts of him piling over. A mosaic of things I liked about him swirled in my mind but none of them saying the full story. None of them captured how I really felt. And I can't just spontaneously write a sonnet.

I could troll you forever. You're such a good sport. Great Arms. A smirk to die for. Probably Definitely Kinky. Determined. Smells Great. Sincere. 10/10 hugs.

Everything I could ever want.

"It's an insult you're both considered men to be honest. You're leagues ahead of that guy." I said, leaning against the railing with a small smile.

He laughed and those boxes of emotion started to bubble over as I formed my lips to admit something I haven't ever been able to say. The closest I came to admitting it was when I arrived at Iris' doorstep two years ago bawling my eyes out. I let myself cry but I never let myself admit anything. I squeezed the hoodie, my eyes shining with unshed tears.

"He hurt me." I whispered, my voice cracking.

My mouth twisted into a smile against my will. I thought I got rid of this tic. Those boxes of emotion spilled over, flooding everything.

"He hurt me really bad." My voice shuddered as tears started to fall.

I'm so scared of being weak again. Please don't hurt me please. I won't recover. I still haven't recovered.

"I'm so scared that I'm broken." I whispered, finally admitting to myself one of my greatest fears.

I pulled the hoodie up, so I could sob in peace. Bakugo's hands shyly wrapped around me. Silently and carefully asking permission with every inch he moved until I was fully in his embrace. I cried and cried and when I finally put the hoodie down, it was nightfall. He rubbed his thumb in gentle circles around my arm, patiently waiting for me to be okay. And for the first time in four years I think, at this moment at least, I can say I actually felt okay. I realized I never went into detail but..it doesn't feel like I have to. And I appreciate that.

"I was a hostage in a villain attack once. When I was a student." He said, breaking the silence. "A couple times actually."

I looked up at him, tilting my head. He gave me a small smile.

"When it happened, I tried shoving it down but it eventually caught up to me." He rested his chin on my head. "I didn't want to let you do the same thing. But I can't force you to talk. So, I tried cheering you up. And being around if you needed it."

Getting Hawks to walk me home, the check ins, the corny jokes, this movie. It all makes sense.

"That explains the Gentle Bakugo Experience I've been getting lately." I said with a small smile.

"Can't always be intense." He said.

"Guess so." I agreed.

Bakugo rubbed my back in soothing circles and I looked up at him. He met my gaze. I bit my lip and sighing.

"Can you please kiss me?" I cringed, knowing this isn't smooth at all.

He shifted my body so I was straddling him. I balanced myself with my hands on his hard, defined chest. His hands slid down my torso, leaving a trail of heat as he gripped my hips and scooted me closer. He paused, making sure I was okay before cupping my chin, tilting my head up. He slowly leaned in, the smell of popcorn dusting over my nose until we finally, finally touched lips.

We both paused for a moment like we didn't expect to get this far, then I pushed into the kiss. Shy, vulnerable. He pushed back. Hungry and pleading. I let out a tiny gasp when he bit my lip, he groaned and started rocking his hips. I rocked back, desperate to get any friction to satisfy my growing need. His grip on my hips tightened as his tongue explored my mouth. I pulled back and nibbled on his lip, causing him to buck his hips forward. He shifted my hips forward again until we're grinding into each other. His hands dig into my sides, not leaving that spot. I know why he's doing it but I can't stand it.

"Bakugo." I pleaded softly, while touching his hands.

I moved his hands to my ass and wrapped my hands around his neck. I could feel how much he wanted it too. I was practically riding it, if only the jeans weren't there. He cupped my ass and started guiding my hips to the rhythm he wanted, his control slipping as a low groan escaped his mouth. His mouth drifted to my neck leaving soft kisses until he reached the base. He sucked hard on the spot and gave it a light bite. My body jolted with a gasp and I squeezed him harder with my thighs. He swirled his tongue on the spot, the sensation going straight to my clit.

Bakugo let out a shaky breath and pulled back slightly. "We should stop." He panted.

I lightly bit the base of his neck, his hips buck forward and I felt more of that sweet sweet friction. He growled and lightly pushed me back.

"We're stopping." His breath shuddered.

I know it's the adrenaline and vulnerability causing this but that bit of restraint felt like shit. He wasn't rejecting me, I know that. But it felt like it. I quickly stood up so he couldn't see me tearing up.

"Okay, yea." I said, my voice cracking. I winced. "Got it."

"Y/N, it's not that I don't want to." He quickly said, getting up after me.

"I know, just give me a second." I said quickly before getting in the car and hugging the hoodie.

He walked to the driver's side and opened the door, looking at me with pleading eyes.

"Do you know?" Bakugo said softly.

"I do! Just...give me a minute." My voice cracks again, not helping AT ALL.

He sighed and turned the ignition in his car. We drove in silence and I'm telling myself to chill out. He's just looking out for me. He probably just wants to make sure I'm okay before doing anything like that. It's fine. It's literally fine. He clearly wanted to, he's just being a good guy.

But what if it's because he felt obligated? You just shared your sob story

It's not like that.

But what if it is? What if he felt pressured? What if this was all strictly just to cheer you up?

I felt my heart cave in as I re-examined everything. I know I'm just freaking out but it doesn't stop the thought from creeping up and worming it's way into the cracks. He was clearly interested before all this. In the kitchen we had a moment, he texted cheesy jokes and went out of his way to see me.

What if...now that he knows....you're not worth it anymore?

Taglist: @macaroniwiththechickenstripz