#i have been on hrt for a year
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the movie did such a good job at putting me in isabel/owens shoes honestly because i was looking at tara/maddys monologue scene through a lens of just not letting go of nostalgia so i was like 'oh my god do not get in that hole in the ground. this is crazy' but then two minutes later with hindsight i Understood and was like 'NO YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN IN THE HOLE IN THE GROUND GO BACK'
#thats how you know its a good metaphor because this was also exactly my cycle with hrt for like 6 straight years#'oh my god you cant get on testosterone right now theres all this. it would be crazy'#*2 years later* oh my god why didnt i start hrt back then that was so stupid. it would have been so easy. i cant do it now of course.#*2 years later* oh my god why didnt i start hrt back then it would have been so ea#avpost#movie diary#i saw the tv glow#but hey anyway i DID start hrt its not too late etc etc. please god go bury yourself in that hole in the ground right now.
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#kirby#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#food#starting a new med tomorrow#it's an injection and eventually I'll be allowed to do it at home (or get my friend to do it for me :v )#but for the first couple doses I have to go into the clinic in case it tries to kill me ✌️#(disambiguation: I have a chronic immune disorder that's been out of control for the past couple years)#(I know the most common context most of us have is probably hrt so I figured I should clarify)#anyway if I don't draw tomorrow night for the first time in uhhhhh over 6 years you know why I guess lol
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#meme#homemade memes#cw dysphoria#trans#bones are stupid#cw dysphoria venting#waiting out current phase of transition changes to happen#(cause I got my dose raised again in april & am waiting for my next two surgeries & continuing tryna build muscle 😔)#hoping it'll get to a point eventually where the affirming bits are overpowering enough to ppl's perception#that I can dress the bits I can't change (like hips) in things that suit them#and do the whole embracing looking trans thing without worrying abt the misgendering#but alas I won't believe in my body's ability to do that until I see it#seeing as I still get lady-ed & unquestioningly she/her-ed 5 years into HRT + post two highly visible surgeries#+ fully dressed in men's clothes + sporting the shortest hair I've ever had -.-#cis ppl learn what transmascs look like & what that means for words you use on them challenge 2024- difficulty level: impossible apparently#I've had several ppl in the last few months that I literally TOLD I am trans/'it's he/him'/was clocked as trans by#who then STILL proceeded to misgender me anyway???#like what more can I do than literally straight up tell you????#I told a clinician who was looking at my knee the other month that I was trans (cause they always ask abt all meds n diagnoses)#and he misgendered me as a trans woman on his report like-#sir I am 5'4" and have a flat chest baby face and facial hair#and I was telling you abt how I've been on HRT for years and have had several Transgender Surgeries#you're a bone doctor you know how bones work and what their limitations are and you have functionning eyes#you should be able to put 2 and 2 together abt how this works even if you've never met a trans person holy fuck#(I wrote a complaint and they amended the report and sent me an apology meanwhile but still like- buddy wtf)
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varric giving rook his shaving mirror to keep kind of hits different when your rook is a trans man I have to say
#rye is an elf so no amount of blood magic adjacent HRT is going to give him a beard. but it's the thought that counts lol#(listen it's his own blood I think he gets to decide what to do with it within the bounds of his body right lol)#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#varric tethras#oc: ellaryen ingellvar#rye getting blackout drunk for the first time in like ten years approximately three days after leaving the necropolis#and varric being. so so kind about it. hawke stayed with varric in the hanged man for a month after leandra died#because varric was genuinely afraid what would happen if he was left alone and hawke couldn't face going home#he gets it. it's okay kid. happens to the best of us. I'll get you some water huh. did I ever tell you about the time hawke and I#found that guy who'd been selling deepstalkers to nobles as pets and --#and rye with his defenselessly flayed-open heart slowly and gently being put back together again. is something. that is so personal.#to me. literally and figuratively#undying loyalty engaged immediately. of course. OF COURSE. how could he ever have felt differently.
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honestly? 2024 has been the best year of my entire life. things really started looking up since 2023 broadly speaking and this year has been the first time in.......... i don't even know how long..... i've started feeling like a person & Having Hope For The Future :)
#buy me a horse cause ive never been more stable in my Entire Life!#crazy that i can say confidently that i am No Longer suicidal#which is insane because i have been actively suicidal since day FUCKING one brother. 3 years old and actively yearning for oblivion <3#it takes 26 years biblical levels miracles AND HRT but! it gets better
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My hot take is that the term "egg" should be a self identifying label (ex: back when I was an egg)
only and not used in other people because you don't know their gender identity or how they'll develop as a person
It's so weird and uncomfortable when people proudly call others an egg as if it's a game instead of letting people express themselves in a way without the public trying to nail down their "real gender"
#its weird!#idc man#im trans and have been on hrt for 4 years#with surgery#and if i dressed gnc n got mistaken for “an egg” id be pissed#personal
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Looked in the mirror just now, realized I can't even *make* myself see the boy anymore. I made it, and I'm beautiful, I'm me. It feels... awesome.
#I'm not even done yet#I'm just getting started#I've only been on HRT for a year#and I still have so much more to learn about myself#it doesn't feel overwhelming now though#there's promise#and wonder#I know I'm going to be okay#no one can take this away from me#no matter what happens next#post#trans#transfem#positivity#196#personal
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the israeli doctor character in Emilia Pérez: look lady, I don't know who your MR. MAN CLIENT DUDE is but all I do know is that he will never be a woman even if he gets all the surgeries from your little song that you just sang about, even if I do them all at once in one go at one time, literally the same day every single surgery.
Emilia Pérez's Lawyer, Zoë Saldaña: that's where you're wrong, HE will be a woman only after you agree to give HIM all the surgeries I just sang about at once in one go at one time. You will see HIM as a woman once you give HIM a mammoplasty (yas) rhinoplasty (yas) vaginoplasty (yas) laryngoplasty (yas) chondrolaryngoplasty (yas) all at once in one go at one time. Let HIM explain to you why HE will be a woman!
Emilia Pérez (he/him): I murder thousands of people every year and you will be one of them.
the israeli doctor character in Jacques Audiard's film Emilia Pérez: okay I will do it... I will give he/him all the surgeries. He will receive every single surgery he could possibly need in one day in one go, literally the same day every single surgery mentioned.
The Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Science:
#this movie is INSANE on all basic logical fronts#at one point emelia perez - while still hiding her trans identity - before any gender affirming care - aka when karla was in prosthetics#shes like “i have secretly been taking hrt for two years see” and she unzips her jacket and shows Rita her tits.... but like#the face is not changed ???? karla is wearing prosthetic makeup to look like man in this scene so?#emilia perez#emilia Pérez
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sorry for my lack of knowledge about the world everyone 😔 i’ve been hit in the head a lot when i was younger and it made me very stupid
i’m back again with a question for anyone who may have an answer or an idea, but does anyone have a face care routine/products that’s hydrating & good for both sensitive dry & oily skin?
if i get things for dry skin it messes with the oil an makes that way worse, if i do something for the oil it makes my skin dry out real bad— i can’t seem to win an my poor face is suffering lmao
i’ve tried cerve, cetaphil, aveeno, an so on— hadn’t had a lot of good luck depending on what i’m using it for, like for example so far with the lotions they’re like to oily or something an my skin gets really shiny an my pores clog that or the worst part it makes my skin feel weird an gross an i lowkey freak the fuck out :’((
#i didn’t use to have this problem before hrt cause my skin was only dry but now that i’ve been on testosterone for like 2 years my skins—#really oily AND dry an i can’t seem to find anything worthwhile to help with this problem ;v; )#any help or tips or anything would be greatly appreciated#also how the hell do you deep clean pores? i can’t seem to get those fuckers unclogged an my skin looks so gross in my t-zones#i tried a thing that was supposed to help with that an wowie it made my skin SO much worse lmao
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another little update:
I finally got injections covered by insurance 🥹😭
#i started hrt almost five years ago#have been trying to get injections for four#finally got them prescribed but have been trying to get them covered for two and a half years#ahhhhhhhh
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my special skill is that i'm not afraid of emails. in fact i vastly prefer sending emails because i can do it whenever i have time... the alternative is usually making phone calls, and the phone call times are pretty much always work hours at work days, AKA the SAME TIME AS WHEN I'M AT SCHOOL!!!! this really sucks if the only time i have the opportunity to sit down and do Important Paperwork Stuff is the weekend or the evenings!!! Let Me Send A Written Message Please Please Please
#banging my head againt the wall#hi i found out that due to my address being set in sweden i can't Do Things through the norwegian healthcare portal#i can read messages and documents but i can't contact anyone or send in forms. great!!! great!!!!!!! i didn't know this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#it's fine i'll just make the phonecalls but i wish i could get it over with NOW#i already feel bad for not doing any of this stuff in the past two days but ive been so completely depleted#im sure ill manage to solve this in time i just hate having things hanging over me#ALL OF THIS COULDVE BEEN AVOIDED IF IT HADN'T TAKEN THREE FUCKING YEARS TO BE GRANTED HRT#'of course there won't be any problems if you move to sweden :)' They Lied To Me#also this is a vent post please do not give me unsolicited advice thank you
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"...my one year anniversary being on testosterone!!! I had a vision of capturing my total gender euphoria [...] My trans and nonbinary body is divine I honor my body as it is now, and as it will be as I continue to become more and more myself..."
#hoping this doesn't get flagged labeled or otherwise restricted. hoping & blowing this whole building up#there Is queerness & an observable butt & such & [what i already know abt the stuff that does get flagged removed etc]#of course if there's a problem & this tag's commentary is irrelevant: the video! full thing!! their voice aaaa!!!#trans people trans people trans people Trans People Trans People Trans People!!!!!!!#asia kate dillon#injection vwv#their scruff their smiling their laughing the appreciatively lingering shots of leg & armpit & stomach hair#my never having heard their voice from this past year. seeing the post with the preview of this realizing it ft. testosterone like Exhale#hearing their voice after a year of hrt crying!!!! weeping!!!! been playing snippets over & over; getting familiar; getting misty; basking#selfies / home video journaling when it's also Theatre Performance Staging Modeling Photography Filmmaking Documenting Envisioning#seeing a not so unrelated like just. little documentation A Day In The Life type clip from '67 by a trans woman; resonating w/this#talking even theoretically abt Her future journey; shots of mannequins ft. the underwear/lingerie she'd like to wear then. wah
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(me watching a video abt how women get misdiagnosed consistently bc the doctors are always like Umm its just anxiety) haha yeah thats so true!! That's why i transitioned!! now they blame it on my hormones just trying to level out 🥰🥰🥰
#morgan.pdf#its like my anxiety stopped being the scapegoat lmaooooo#me when my 'trans friendly' doctor fail to tell me i have POTS & instead tells me that i'll feel better when i adjust to the hrt<3#(i had been on hrt w consistent levels for years at that point . lmaooo)
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I feel numb and angry and deeply, deeply sad. how can so many people be so blind and stupid and hateful? it genuinely makes me lose my trust in the people I see passing by me. and I don't want it to but so many more people came out to support such a vile excuse of a human shell. it's so hard to know that so many people picked their desire, their fleeting hope of touching power and wealth over the well being of millions. at least they will burn with us when he razes the economy
#[static]#there is so much wrong but I am very very grateful that I live in the state that I do and the person elected has been a thorn in his side#I just got my hrt appointment booked and hopefully they give me a year prescription so i dont have to think about that for awhile#i am just so scared for so many people in other states ... loved ones ... community members...people i dont know who will suffer needlessly#I'll likely be relatively quiet because everything feels surreal right now and it's going to take awhile to process what happened
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Why didn't you just go on T for fat redistribution?
fair question! a few reasons, among them that I know fat distribution is both one of the slowest changes to happen on T and one of the fastest to reverse itself if you ever stop, whereas getting fat cells sucked out of you with a straw is fast and fairly fucking permanent. and with my (former) waist-to-hip ratio I was doubtful anything short of a miracle would do much tbh. so given how impatient I was to tackle my biggest source of body dysphoria and how unlikely it seemed gradual measures would help I was super down to nuke that shit from orbit
#also I have actually been taking low dose T for a bit but it hasn't done much for me yet because my prescribing doctor is a moron lol#she didn't know drospirenone is an anti-androgen so I was taking that AND finasteride for a full year until my OBGYN figured it out.#on top of which I found out she lost her medical license in CA (not malpractice tbf she just failed to disclose her rap sheet)#(unrelated to medicine. I think it was like trespassing and disorderly conduct and something else.)#but other than planned parenthood I can't find anyone else in vegas who prescribes HRT so I'm stuck with her!!!
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these past few days of presumably much higher estradiol than I’ve had before when on tablets have me remembering this post
like i’m just sitting here crying for the Nth time tonight thinking “damn, this is some good shit”
#also OOP’s account seems to have been deleted since#but according to the post i found this screenshot on she did have she/they pronouns as of a year after this post#trans#transfem hrt#sabrina's marvelous mind
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