#i have been itching to write in this verse for a while now though so! tysm for liking my starter call! and lmk if you need anything changed

[sorrowveined]

This place, this fog, it's... Alucard can't find the right word for it. The first that comes to mind is 'dark', but Alucard has been in plenty of dark places before, and none were quite like this.

Not much is capable of unsettling him, but right now, Alucard finds himself feeling surprisingly shaken as he moves across the forest floor, twigs snapping with every step. The feeling of his powers - or rather, their absence, likely has a large part to do with that. It's not the first time that his abilities have been snatched from him by another, but even so... this time, not knowing the cause, along with the sense of malevolence that makes even the air feel suffocating here... it's something he needs to be very careful about.

What he wasn't expecting to see, when he does finally encounter a figure in the all-encompassing dark, is a boy. He looks young - younger than Alucard, certainly, and dressed in clothes that stand out as unusual in a way that he can't exactly place. But somehow, there's something about him... that it feels like he should recognize. In a way that makes chills run through his veins.

"Are you alright?" he asks, though the question is sharp, without any attempt to hide his suspicion. "You... what are you doing in a place like this, alone?"

@reincarnight ( dead by daylight verse starter! )

[fioras-resolve]

hey, update on project believer: i've shifted the current plan from an eight-chapter game focused on plot, to a three, maybe four-chapter game focused on the characters.

hear me out here! i mentioned before that i wanted the first half of the original idea to be free, while the second half was paid. the problem with this is twofold. the first is that with the plot i was working with i couldn't really make a good cutoff point? talking to some friends about the model, one of them told me that the first half should at least be a full story in order to not leave players in suspsense, and while i am like "well if you want to see what happens next i've done my job," i also can't deny that some players would probably be angry at me for paywalling the resolution.

the second problem is a bit more complicated. tactics games have an inherent weakness in that their complexity makes it hard to teach players quickly. the biggest success stories for tactical tutorials tend to be either like Into the Breach where the mechanics are so streamlined they're easy to explain, or Fire Emblem: Awakening where mechanics are delivered piecemeal over the course of several actual levels. The issue is that Awakening's tutorial has the runtime of my entire original plan. And even though I've stripped down a lot of the mechanics, I realized that if I just made the first half of my eight-chapter game free, at least half of that would be just explaining how to play the game.

so surely that means i should make the game longer, right? why was my solution to halve it? well, because i realized something after watching the newest episode of Developing. Mark Brown, game design video essayist and now game developer, has been working on his first game for three years. three years is a large amount of your life to spend on one project, and he desperately wants to release the game this year. and he came to the painful realization that if he was going to get this game done on time, he would have to cut things. and this is true for basically every game. even the games you love almost definitely had a lot of stuff the developers wanted to put in but couldn't. and i realized, thinking about this: if i designed and wrote an eight-chapter srpg on my own, that might take years to finish.

so, yeah, cutting the game's size in half felt like the right move. it was originally very stressful, as i knew a lot of the sauce of the game's plot would be removed with only four chapters. i didn't just want to make a stripped-down version of the great game i was planning, so instead i decided on making a new great plan. i knew the game was going to be mostly tutorial by volume, so why not lean into that? That's what Portal did, after all, focus every level on the precise thing it's tutorializing.

so here's the plan: i have six characters, and each one's part of at least one pair with an interesting dynamic. so each level will focus solely on one of those pairs. there's teenage princess and overprotective guardian Reiana and Caibel, the relationship of the clingy Yuri and distant Asteria, and the dynamic between Jack who fights at his best in pain verses Azura who loathes to see others in pain. each of these dynamics will play out not just in dialogue but in gameplay, in fact the resonance of gameplay and story has been the point of the project since the beginning. i want to sell you on these characters, not just by getting good designs and writing them, but by making you feel who these characters are, in a way that only games can do.

there will be challenges, of course. focusing on two new characters each level means that you can't really get comfy with any of them, and that i have to make bespoke tutorials for each of them rather than letting one flow into the next. it opens me up pretty heavily to having a "weakest one" which i can't really afford if i want people to be itching to see more. and while a series of vignettes can be individually interesting, it'll take more connective tissue to make them feel cohesive as a full experience. that's what i hope a chapter 4 will accomplish. but more than ever, this game feels like something i can make and make good in a short-ish period. thanks for reading, y'all!

[remyfire]

21 for the unwritten asks?

Unwritten/Unpublished Fics Ask Meme 21.) Is there any unwritten fic that you don't know if you ever will write?

The very second fic idea I had when I first entered the fandom—while I was still writing Scratching the Itch—was a modern verse with reincarnation elements. For one reason or another—maybe some kind of take on a purgatory rather than a time loop—where all of the 4077th, after passing on, were reborn. But they only recognize each other because the very first time they make eye contact, they get a rapid flashback of the trauma they lived through together in that camp and suddenly Remembered Each Other, and sometimes it's pretty foggy and not completely correct at first, but the longer they talk to each other, the more they Remember Everything.

I have no idea what I was on at the time.

It was planned to be beejtraphawk and it would all take place across three nights at a gay nightclub that they would attend at various times. Hawk and Trap would see each other first, and the last thing that Hawkeye gets hit with regarding him is Being Left Behind, and though neither of them really have made sense of this yet, Hawk just knows he has to put distance between them Now to stay safe, to keep himself from being left once more,

Then the second night would be BJ and Hawk seeing each other. The flashback that Hawk and BJ both end with here is just a searing mutual heartbreak with the sound of motors and sharp winds through their hair, but all the same, they can barely resist each other.

Third night would've been Hawk and Beej meeting up there again intentionally, but Trap's there that night too, which was going to be hilarious because BJ makes eye contact with him and is just bulls-red hatehatehate for reasons he has no idea about—just wrenching rage—and meanwhile Trap looks at him and is just, oh, a cute guy, nice, fhskfsd BUT! They were all gonna leave together and go to a diner because they need to hash out this shit in their head.

Anyway, my take on them all having unfinished business that they had a second chance to make right, and then they'd live happily ever after.

I don't really have any muse to write it anymore. After I realized Scratching the Itch was about to start a full series, I lost my focus on it, so it's very much in the back of the filing cabinet. MAYBE I'll get to it one day? Probably not.

[carlos-tk]

nice ask week

hi D! it's nice ask week! What made you start watching LS and what was it about the show that made you spiral into fandom?

Hi Rae! Thanks for the question! 💗 Apologies for how long this took me to answer. Work took over my life this week 😢 Now buckle in for a stupidly long story 😅

Firstly, I had watched the original 911s first and half of its 2nd season whenever they aired (2018/19 thanks Wikipedia) and then totally forgot all about it because again #life 😅 I did hear about a spin off whenever they announced it but I guess the only info was that it was coming soon. Wikipedia is helping out and it seems it was May 2019. I didn’t really pay it much mind because by then I had already stopped watching the og.

So I move on with my life and don’t think about either series until September 2022. I saw a youtube clip of a scene: the throwing each other against the wall hookup from 1x02. I watched it and I was like.. OH?!👀🔥🥵 Saved it to my YouTube watch later and again forgot all about it because back then I was doing full time shift work and had no time to breathe let alone watch anything new 😂 (kicking myself because I could’ve been here a year ago) 😭

Cut to this year. I can give you an exact date i rediscovered 911 verse. May 17th 2023!! 🥳 All because of the Tarlos wedding.

Twitter is probably the platform I use the most cos it’s got all my sports content😅 Anyway I happened to be on the discover/trending tab and one of the top hashtags was #TarlosWedding which was airing that day. I clicked it to investigate and scrolled through. It was full of pics and fanvids of the wedding and again I was like OH 👁👁. I liked a bunch of the tweets to revisit and moved on with my day. A few days later because I had liked all that stuff, Twitter keeps recommending me more content. So I find myself back on YouTube and watched these:

and then a series of random scenes and I was like... okay I need full context for all of this. Another month passes and it’s probably end of June/early July and I’m like let me see if this is available anywhere to watch in Australia. I find it on Disney+ and they have seasons 1-3. This is finally when I watched the show. And then I could not stop thinking about it. S4 is no where to be found though. So I google and see it’s halfway through airing on Channel 7 here which means it won’t be uploaded to Disney+ for a while. So then I’m like UGH 😒😩😤 I wanted to binge the whole season like I had for the others. I kept tabs on when it would finish airing on TV and eventually the finale airs August 14th. The next day I start it and binge the whole season on 7Plus over a few days.

Now that I had seen their entire story so far, I was full blown hyper fixating. Like they’re on my mind ALL the time. I’m reading a book or watching a movie/show and thinking about Tarlos in place of the characters. I’m listening to a song or reading a poem/lyric and being like oh that’s so Tarlos coded😂😂 At this point i’m like oh no 😅😅 The fandom life is coming for me.

Then the biggest surprise of all I start getting the urge to write fanfic again! Which is insane because I had not written anything in (redacted) years. Like nearly every time as I was about to sleep, I start having ideas and rambling it out in my notes app at stupid hours like 2am 😂😅

Next we have the writers/actors strike and I’m like 👀trust me to find a new obsession and everyone is on strike and I’m gonna get nothing new for ages. Then I remember AO3 is a thing that exists and find my way to the 911 Lone Star tag and start reading fic again. Any spare moment I had I was itching to read whatever I could get my eyeballs on. I said to you the other day that I read your gym!AU first and look I might’ve read a random 1k word one shot or two but nothing I can actually remember like yours 😂🥵 I think the added pictures and texts made it so memorable because 1. I did not know you could do that on AO3 2. Rafael is like the hottest guy I’ve ever seen 😅😅 and 3. It was just so damn good 🥵 Sm*t with feelings and I am there. You teased the feelings a little and if/when (no pressure btw) you decide to revisit this universe just know I’ll be first in line 🙋🏼‍♀️ and the reason I can recall it as the first is it’s the oldest AO3 tab saved to my safari reading list 😅

By this point I’m reading fic through the end of August and September constantly. A few I read had peoples Tumblr links in the end notes so then I remember that Tumblr also exists 😂 I come over and lurk, explore the tags, look at all the beautiful gifs, look at a few peoples blogs and make a mental note to maybe join Tumblr again. I had 2 blogs back in hs, 1 fandom specific blog that got abandoned during my last year of hs and a sports/tv-series one I used a little in the years after hs but then again #life and I didn’t touch it after like 2016.

Come September 2023. I made a new email, signed up to Tumblr again, and requested an AO3 invite. Learning how to use this site again was wild because so much had changed since I last used it. I saw something about getting mistaken for bots so I spent a little time making the blog look nice and like an actual person exists before I bothered to follow anyone or any tags. October rolls around and I finally start using it every day and now I’m here with all of y’all 💗

Sorry for the extremely long story and again sorry for how long it took 😅😅

[star-going-supernova]

i recently stumbled upon your ao3 again after my bendy phase crawled its way back with the new game. i’ve always been a big henry/joey fan but there aren’t many works under that tag and let me just say the great potential series REVIVED me. read the first part and was thinking about it for days. heart skipped when you posted the next one. i love the way you write them!!! it scratches such an itch in my brain and i can’t wait to see what comes next. i looooove the little added detail of joey being possessive in relationships and would love to see more of how that manifests if you have any future plans for it. all this to say i appreciate you and your writing and it’s sustaining me through a very harsh winter right now!!

Same brain, friend!! New game smacked me with inspiration, and when the urge to read Henry/Joey hit, nothing was really doing it for me. So I wrote what I wanted!! I’m so glad it scratched the itch for you too! I’m really enjoying writing them in that AU, so you can definitely expect more! 

Listen, listen, okay. Possessiveness just hits the spot for me, and I really really enjoy it. So you’re in luck, friend, because one of the two stories currently in progress for the great potential ’verse is specifically focused on Joey being possessive (and Henry being like “should I be enjoying this so much?” while also being like “we’re at work, stop!!” because Joey knows he likes it. This story is catered to me). So we’ll definitely be seeing it more, haha :] 

Thank you!! I’m really happy you’re enjoying these stories! 

I would be super down to exploring that! I will admit, though, I struggle a little with coming up with the fight part. I’ve tried it in the past and I feel like everything is either too tame to warrant a fight or it’s so major that making up would feel like a difficult undertaking. Googling “most common arguments between couples” isn’t really helping, RIP. All the major ones either don’t really apply to them since they don’t live together, or it’s stuff I can’t see them struggling to work through. <— literally wrote this part of the response and then BOOM, an idea hit me. One that I really like, feels believable, and is something that wouldn’t genuinely ruin things. So that will make it’s way into my WIPs soon, I’m sure! 

(It’s not the great potential ‘verse, but I have another Henry/Joey story in my BatIM To Post queue that starts with some tension via secret keeping. Just as a little self promo, lol.)

[thankchaosforspellcheck]

I've been combing through my favorites and while a lot of these don't have the "weapons of war" thing as the main focus they're still definitely have Those Vibes (and they're just genuinely fun reads):

Hudson River Cryptids? by LetRaphGoApeShit is one where the Rise boys crash into the 2003 verse and are fully feral when they arrive. It's in the middle of an arc right now that focuses heavier on the whole super soldier thing, though it's still kind of in the build up phase.

In This World (It's Just Us) by Conartist170 VERY HEAVY ON THE WEAPONS OF WAR ASPECT. Disaster twins end up in the 2012 universe. Literally Everyone Regrets This. The writing can be a bit hard to follow at times but the action scenes are very fun & Leo & Donnie are straight up horrifying at times, it's great.

Pawn's Gambit by alicat54c, AmevelloBlue is a VERY fun fic in a VERY fun series. Actually I recommend literally every story these two have ever written ('cause holy shit, do they know how to write!) but this series specifically have elements of the boys being weapons & bonding with their new kids/clones over also being weapons! It's not super heavy on this aspect, but it's a fun read regardless.

Cross Dimension Kidnapping (with pics) by AealZX is a fic where the Rise boys end up in the 2003 universe (I just really like 2003 so it's gonna come up a lot) and 2 of them are captured by Bishop's successor. Again, not super heavy on the mystic super soldier thing but there is an EPIC fight scene where they just decimate half the facility they're held in (before the fully escape & blow the rest of it up behind them). and it has pictures!

Stelwart and Closing the gap by MaryJu both have elements of this. It's much more subtle but both have some pretty fun (read: terrifying) implications if you think them over! They're both pretty short oneshots too, so if you're looking for something quick to scratch that itch you're in the right place!

Mystic Malfunction by VanillaVengeance is a fic where Mikey accidentally portals himself to the 2012 'verse thanks to PTSD induced mystic panic. The 2012 guys proceed to try and hunt him down, thanks to the fact that he keeps utterly obliterating any kraang he spots in other PTSD induced panics. heavier on the "Mystic Mikey is an incredibly powerful glass canon" then the traits they got from Draxums experiments, but it still has some elements from those types of storylines.

Alright, I'm like half through my rottmnt favorites at this point so I'm kind of burnt out, but I hope some of theses work for you! I'm always up for a good Weapons of Mass Destruction fic, so I get how hard they can be to find.

Tumblr I need your help I am in dire need of feral/unhinged Disaster Twins fics pleaseeee (and maybe Mikey as a bonus) I’m just in love with the idea of Raph being the impulse control for once with this iteration, and just the second he’s out of commission the other three go insane.

Weapons of War, Bioengineered Killing Machines, Manufactured Supersoldiers Rottmnt turtles my BELOVEDS

And maybe just like,,, set Leo and Donnie loose on one of the other dimensions and have them absolutely horrifically annihilate their counterparts’ villains while they watch on in horror

(B.E.A.S.T. was SUCH a good fic you guys oh my GOSH go read it I’m begging you-)

I NEED to have it addressed in fic form that the Rise turtles are fundamentally different than all their other counterparts, because their counterparts? They were accidents. Just a couple of turtles splashed with mutagen and oh look now they’re people but Green. (Huge oversimplification I’m aware but hear me out okay-)

But the Rise boys were created. They were specifically designed to be weapons of mass destruction. They were built with the intent to cause harm which means they were bioengineered to be stronger, smarter(?), faster, to heal quicker, to have the capacity to take hard hits while dishing out even harder ones, they were literally forged with a purpose to kill.

Add on their mystic powers? Then their unlocked Ninpo? You can’t honestly tell me that these four aren’t the strongest and potentially deadliest version of themselves out there.

Yes they still had to learn things, as did the other iterations, they weren’t immediately good (that much is obvious, like c’mon it’s IN the name) but I don’t think the other iterations possess the same instincts as these guys do. They’re just so. Unhinged. They’ve all had their moments in the show I think where it’s obvious they’re not really,,, stable. I love them.

In a plain fists only, maybe weapons, no powers fight, I do think some of the other iterations would win, but purely because they have way more experience than these guys do. (If I did any crossovers I’d say 2003 and 2012 are definitely older than these guys, especially if we’re basing this at the end of their shows) But put them against each other when they’re still at the same level? Rise is whooping butt, I know where I’m placing my bets. It’s called RISE of the TMNT for a reasonnnnnn they’re not there yet but they WILL BE, and as of the end of s2 and the movie I say they’re finally THERE.

I have no idea how this turned into a headcanon rant this was just supposed to be me asking for fic recs hsgdjdjdk it’s almost 3 am tho so whatever sorry if none or some of this is incoherent o7 o/

Editing this with a list of fics I have been graciously recommended:

Firefight by remrose [36/43 chapters 178k words] (I’m currently at like chapter 9 rn, it’s super good) less on the feral side, more on the gut-wrenching angst side, still Disaster Twins and still super good

In Which Donnie and Leo Make Themselves Everyone Else's Problem in an NYC That Isn't Even Their Own by YukiSkyes [7/? chapters, 18k words] the CLASSIC “the Disaster Twins are unapologetically causing chaos” fic, always a delight to read

The Lemon Leak by TurtleSoupSwimmer [27/37 chapters, 143k words] I’m being told it’s very true to the theme here, and it’s very angsty, a suspenseful psychological thriller, and will make you scream at your phone. I for one am very intrigued

Eschatology by aenor_llelo, Alderous, ConcoctionsFromHell, izziel_galaxy, Jaybird314, Otakuforlife19, and Rocket999 [17/17 chapters, 344k words] “HEAVY on the boys being biologically engineered to destroy the world, it also delves into so much character building and worldbuilding that we never got in canon, and it gives even super minor characters the chance to shine” Sounds intriguing, AND it’s a BNHA crossover which I am a big fan of :D

[weoris]

haiiii🦭! Ive been itching for something a bit sad and real caz im a depressive mf.. just jongseob stressing over his writing process for the now killin it verse ("my root came 2005") basically having a full breakdown because its a full length album and im pretty sure they did all the preparations while on tour (idk if my brain made that up but i swr i saw it somewhere). He was stressed and called you on face time hyperventilating leading to you flying out there just to be with him.. sighhh

.. u making me cry rn.

-BIGGEST FAN!

김종섭 drabble — burnt out idol boyfriend jongseob! 𐙚 𓈒 ݁ fem!reader slight angst reverse comfort au requested >< three hundred words cw. venting driving mentioned hugging not proofread clickhere!

jongseob, who was so beyond stressed from the tour, had too much on his plate. he was also constantly reminded of the fact that he still hadn’t finished his verse for the next comeback..

as the responsibilities came piling in more, he was exhausted.. he felt defeated. all he wanted to do was take a break.. a break in your embrace. “Hello? ..You okay?” you answered, smiling as you saw his contact name calling you.

all he did was sigh, flopping down on the bed after his shower. “Hmm..” he groaned, his face stuck in the pillow. You couldn’t see his tired state at all, but you were sure he was cute nonetheless..

“Well.. I guess that answers my question..” you chuckled and hummed. “Tired, huh?” He nodded.. even though you couldn’t see. “..hm.. I miss your voice..” jongseob mumbled, groaning a bit.

you smiled and giggled. “really? I missed you too.. face time?” jongseob chuckled at your offer and immediately sat up, turning on his camera. he giggled even more when he saw your face. “Mm.. seems I missed your face too..”

rolling your eyes, you pursed your lips and smiled. but you started to sigh when you saw his dark circles, and tired expression. “How is it.. is touring around the world fun?” You asked gently, but with a bit more playful tone in the end to not let everything get too depressing for him.

seob sighed and turned in the bed. “Fun.. ok. Seeing the fans.. performing, it’s all fun. But..” there it was..

“I’m just feeling so.. out of it. Every time we’re at practise.. or stage rehearsal or anything, everyone always reminds me that I need to be performing at me absolute best. And I’m.. trying! I’m trying really hard.. but I also have to keep on writing lyrics for the next comeback..”

burnt out bf! jongseob who vented to you the whole night, not even noticing you went on mute occasionally for the whole 3 hours. who ignored the background noise from your side and assumed it was just the wind in your apartment. who finally noticed your empty presence in the call. “Babe? Hello?”

ding dong!

bf! jongseob who furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, but immediately chuckled in disbelief when he saw you at the door with a big bag of his favourite snacks. “Oh my gosh..”

you smiled and tilted your head to actually look at him, your vision being sort of hindered from the big bag you were carrying. he noticed your panting breath and sweat dripping from your forehead, even from the cold night outside. “Did you walk here?”

“No, are you crazy?” you said as you let yourself in, dropping the bags down with a sigh, your hand going to your hip as you breathed heavily and had that stupid grin on your face when you looked back at him. “I drove.. until I had to stop at the convenience store and forgot where I parked.. I ran the rest of the way here.” You said, wiping the sweat from your forehead. and he shook his head and chuckled, ruffling your hair.

flopping on the bed, he sat next to you and smiled. “You’re adorable..” he spoke, his fingers finding your own. “I know.. and a good driver, it takes like 4 hours to drive here and I got it in 3. Without a ticket!” you said with a tired laugh.

he flopped on the bed next to you, taking a chip packet and snacking on it as he looked at you from the side. seob put an arm behind your head as a pillow. “Congratulations.. and thank you.”

you smiled and leaned closer to him. “No problem.”

© weoris | tumblr.

4EMMA 🔖 seob sat in my drafts for way too long ..

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[minetteskvareninova]

Minette watches Medici, part 17 (Survival)

-YES WE ARE DOING THIS I DON'T KNOW WHY I SHOULD BE STUDYING RIGHT NOW-

-Especially since season 3 is going to be much the same as season 2, which is real bad news since season 2 kinda sucked.

-Look, I have a higher than average tolerance for exposition and the amount of dialogue in this show that just that was way too much even for me, which should tell you about the efficiency and elegance of writing on display here.

-This show: Let's add some nuance into this conflict by having the pope be a genuinely good person. Also this show: The pope's nephew just irrationally hates the entire Medici family to the point that he's just itching to shank a random bastard just because his most likely father is a Medici. Never change, Il Medici, never change.

-I mean I don't think his character is completely unsalvagable; his character motivations (as stated in a monologue to his wife, because the show wins the lack of subtlety tournament against fucking Magnificent Century) are sound and even desperately wanting to destroy the Medici because of his (totally justified) fear of reprecussions for Giuliano's murder. But like. This guy not only murders a child, but also a guy for failing to murder a child after asking him to hand his own dagger. Be for real, old Albizzi this guy ain't. He's barely Cheekbones Pazzi.

-Also, even though the pope is supposed to be one of the good ones, he is still implied to hold Carlo in markedly worse conditions than Lorenzo holds his nephew. Which I call immense, steaming pile of bullshit on.

-I do like what they are doing with Savonarola tho! See, this is how you do nuance, people! Even if his backstory doesn't seem to be historically accurate and his real backstory involved him becoming a famous preacher before fucking Pico della Mirandolla recommending him to Lorenzo, which I regret wasn't in the show, because. Well. You could've added Pico della Mirandolla in your show and you didn't. For shame. This show in general seems to try its hardest to ignore the humanism part of renaissance and humanism, which I am not wild about.

-The central dilemma of this episode and the negotiations around it are actually good, but the show as always shoots itself in the foot by its inability to give any and all moral greyness to Lorenzo's character. And like. I would absolutely be down to the golden boy Lorenzo who is good at everything, but also just a bit of a bastard who is inconsiderate towards his loved ones and willing to play dirty in politics. Why did I get this borderline Gary Stu instead, I don't know.

-The Giulio subplot is as made up as it is full of cliches, but it's not THAT bad so far. I am mostly annoyed at the tedious, manufactured drama of having his mother murdered for no reason that I can tell except angst when the real Giulio's mum just died when he was a baby (most likely). Even if I do like the little detail of how the murder was done - when we saw her face fall to the floor from Giulio's POV... Man. I literally SCREAMED.

-Overall, second verse much the same as the first, instant regret, do not recommend. I am going to finish this show, if only because making fun of it is rather relaxing after work, but I don't think anyone else should follow my example. People, watch season 1 of Medici, then nothing else. It's not even bad enough for real masochists, like The Empress will give you way more bang for your buck if that's what you're looking for (seriously, I turned that show off after watching ten minutes from the first episode, I haven't been in that much pain while watching something since that Austrian Maria Theresa show).

[darkdoverpseeker]

Hello! My name is CK (26, NB, she/they) and, as you might guess, I’m looking for a partner (or two).

I’ve been back on my Spider-man bullshit for a while now but haven’t quite been able to scratch a very specific itch - I’m looking for a Dr. Otto Octavius to play against my Peter Parker, based on the Raimi Spider-man Trilogy or the Insomniac/PS4/PS5 Spider-man game.

I write exclusively on Discord in specially-created servers these days so please be comfy that! I write 3rd person past-tense, and can write anywhere from a few paragraphs to a novella in reply (though please don’t feel the need to match me!). I typically try to write replies every few days, but I also do have IRL obligations and personal health concerns that might get in the way of that. If you’re looking for replies every day, I might not be the best partner for you. I am definitely open to NSFW/kink/darker themes, but only after discussing both of our limits. If we vibe well, I’m totally down for having multiple threads at once (AUs anyone?).

I am always down and eager to chat/plot/screm/what-have-you. All I ask is that you be an active participant in plotting, as roleplay is a collaborative effort. If you feel your interest is waning or we just aren’t meshing as partners, please tell me instead of ghosting me. It won’t hurt my feelings, I promise!

I would be playing a trans Tobey!Peter/John Bubniak FC!Peter. In terms of plot, I have a few ideas for both verses, but would also love to hear yours as well. Some of mine include:

MCU Based: Post No Way Home, Otto and Peter are both yeeted back into their universe but find themselves a) back in 2004, just after the destruction of the reactor, aligning to when Otto was yoinked from the timeline or b) 17 years into The Future, aligning to when Peter was yoinked from the timeline. Shenanigans ensue.

Insomniac Based: Post-game, a repentant Otto seeks forgiveness and redemption for his actions. Peter is torn between wanting to believe he is sincere and give him a second chance (and potentially risking having his heart broken a second time) and struggling with his hurt and anger towards the man he looked up to and fell a little in love with.

Either verse: Gimme a Kraven hellbent on hunting his ultimate prey, an Otto who goes more than a little feral in response, and Peter who is in desperate need of a nap.

Either verse: Otto is singled out as an Anomaly by the Spider-Society ala Spider-verse, and must be removed to ‘correct the timeline’. Peter goes more than a little feral in response in order to protect Otto. (okay yeah it’s the plot of Across the Spider-verse but with Peter & Otto instead of Miles & his dad).

Either verse again: HYDRA takes a special interest in Spider-man’s superhuman abilities and seeks to acquire him as an asset, and Peter & Otto go on the run to escape them and unravel the mystery of the creation of the radioactive spiders at Oscorp all those years ago.

I’m down for fluff. I’m down for angst. I’m down for action. I’m down for hurt&comfort. We can mix-and-match any of the ideas above, or do something completely different.

If you also love The Octopus Man and his Arachnid Boytoyfriend, and managed to read to the end of this ad, don’t hesitate to send me a message. If you give this post a Like, I’ll also reach out <3 Fandoms: MCU, Spider-man (Raimi Spider-man, Insomniac Spider-man) Pairings: Dr. Otto Octavius/Doc Ock x Peter Parker/Spider-man (Octospider)

.

[whensuddenlygames]

EVERYTHING IS CHANGING!

Well, not everything everything. Just the dice resolution mechanic.

The Imposition Dice System has been in development for a while now. One of the first things we nailed down was the dice resolution mechanic during personal play tests. It felt fun, interacted well with the other mechanics, and flowed. However, when presenting it to players and getting deeper into play tests I discovered it wasn't very intuitive and tripped up people for several rolls. Eventually folks grasped it, but that's not what I wanted. So, with the help of another game designer's input, we've landed on a slight tweak to the dice system that keeps things very close to the original concept but makes it far more intuitive.

THE DIFFERENCE

Originally you'd roll your character's Spell Die (typically a d6) along with their Path Die (for whatever spell they're casting). The Crypt Keeper would assign an Imposition Die to represent how difficult the task is, ranging from a d4 to a d12. The player's goal is to roll a 7 or higher when adding together their Spell and Path die to get a full success. A 4-6 is a partial success and 1-3 is a failure.  However, if the Imposition Die value is equal to or greater than the lowest die, that die is cancelled out leaving you with only one result. You should always be left with one result. So assuming the array is always Spell Die, Path Die, Imposition Die: A result of 5,6,3 (for a total of 11) would be a full success. Whereas a 5,3,6 (for a total of 5) is a partial success. The 6 "eats" the 3. In the situation of a 4,4,4 you would pick one of the 4s to remove, leaving you with a final result of 4. Ok, so that's the old way. Here's the tweak. No longer are we worried bout the final value of the dice. Only whether or not the Imposition Die is greater than or equal to ONE of the other two die. If this is is false you have a full success. If only greater than one it's a partial success. If it's greater than both it's a failure. So using our numbers from before: A result of 5,6,3 is still a full success though we're not worried about the final value. However, the 5,3,6 is a FAILURE! as the Imposition Die is greater than both the Spell and Path Die. And finally the 4,4,4 is a partial success. It's just even easier to write! And so far in play tests it's also been fantastically easier for the players to pick up. So that's good news.  We've also had an amazing friend create a script that allowed us to do A-B testing against the two methods. This has given us an amazing insight into the results after a thousand rolls. Plotting it out we see that the difficulty progression of the second method falls more inline with how we'd want a d12 to be verses a d4. So that's fantastic.

SRD

The current plain text rules are up on my itch. If you'd like to dig further into The Crypt Has Opened go ahead and download the game and check it out!

[pyroreadscomics]

I do have a few of my own theories as to why there's a disconnect between myself and other fans on this series, which I'll explain below the cut Though of course, I could easily be missing the actual main reason

I'm reading the series wrong

I know "you're experiencing X media the wrong way" is a weak defense to criticism in the general sense but with Catwoman Vol. 2 I do get the impression the way I engaged with the series was not as the writers intended. I recently learnt of a concept called “Writing for the Trade” where a comic book is written to be read in trades and not one issue at a time (in hindsight a really obvious phenomenon but also something i never noticed because I never sat down a read a few dozen pre 2000 issues in before and noticed the different those runs approach story structure) Anyway, I read Catwoman 1993 reading 3-6 issues a night, a few times a week, in a very similar way that I read modern comics in trades (or the equivalent issues) all in one go. Blitzing through all 94+ issues (and much of the tie-in events) in under a month. Maybe if instead I'd taken that series at a rate of one issue a night I might have appreciated it more (Though… I’m not exactly itching to go back and given it a second chance rn)

I'm missing some cultural context 

I’m not well versed in 90s comics (if the fact that Writing for the Trade being a new concept to me didn’t already reveal that) and recently I was struck by another 90s story where changing cultural context robbed the story of much of its intended impact. And while in that instance I was able to see what had changed in thirty years to make me apathetic to that character’s tragic backstory, I’m wondering if there might have been something in the 90s zeitgeist that I'm just ignorant of. I mean, 90s anti-heroes had to have been popular for a reason. Relatedly:

I’m not vibing with Selina’s characterization

Now, I am cursed with having opinions™ about Selina’s characterization, and while i don’t hate Selina here like i do with New 52 Catwoman or some of the more questionable spin-offs, it’s not landing for me. Individually each writer is of course bring something new to the character and while I like some’s takes (Ostrander) more than others (Dixon), at the end of the day I tend to come away feeling that Selina’s… a bit shallow, and not in the sense of being a very superficially minded person but in the sense of not having much depth. She feels two dimensional and while there are stories that shake her out of that mold, there’s far fewer here then, say, in Vol 3 under Brubaker’s pen. And I suppose that brings me to my own biases, I have versions of Selina I like alot and 90s Selina isn’t a lot like any of them. Some maybe I’m not giving her a fair shake and judging too early. Because she doesn’t have the depth I recognize in the character doesn’t necessarily mean that depth isn’t there, though for the life of me I’m struggling to see it.

I'm really underestimating the extent to which Jim Balent's art is what sells people on this run

I mean, the collected editions are called “Catwoman by Jim Balent” after all. And I won’t deny his art isn’t skillful or even compelling (there are moments where the pencils and inks and colours come together that really impresses me) but between his anatomy and his character design sensibilities, he’s not my favourite Catwoman artist. But then again, I'm sitting here wondering “if New 52 Catwoman was somehow drawn by Darwyn Cooke, would I go to bat for that?” and while yes most of the New 52 run is worse than anything in the 90s run, making it not a fair comparison I'm still struck by the knowledge that, yeah, I might hate that run much less if so. Then again, one of my all time favorite Catwoman stories has awful art so i’m clearly not blinded by the art. 

Relatedly, I'm Asexual and this is a piece of media aimed firmly at the Allos 

Speaking of art, the art in this run is horny. I oft found myself likening scenes to being “like the start of a porno” except that everyone’s clothes (mostly) stay on. Certainly the anatomy, the costume designs, some of minor plot points, all have sex appeal baked into them more than even usual Catwoman stories. And I won’t deny that Balent does a serviceable pin-up (provided the anatomy’s not a deal breaker) but… I struggle to believe that that alone kept this series going for 7 years (or maybe I don’t want to believe)

Nostalgia

Simplest option I suppose, but the most reductive too. People like the Catwoman run they read when they were young.

Kinda hope that’s not the answer, as that’s really boring.

I don't think I get 90s Catwoman

I recently finally finished the Catwoman Volume 2 (1993-2001) as part of my big Catwoman read-through. And at the end of it I was struck by a thought:

I don't understand why this run was so popular. 

And it was popular, it ran for almost a hundred issues and really it wasn't like the series got canceled, it's more like it went on hiatus for six months and they reset the numbering. And even ignoring its popularity back in the day, there are people on this website that I started following near a decade ago to whom 90s Selina, the purple boobsock and all, was their Catwoman. And…

I want to understand why,

Like, normally I'd be content to live and let live with a difference of favorite comic run like this but… well I have Catwoman brain rot and I need to understand everything. Moreover, I want to like everything Catwoman (the curse of being a fan I suppose) and I'm hoping that there's something I'm missing about the series that maybe if I looked at it a slightly different way, to approach it with a different lens, everything would just click into place.

So, if you like Catwoman Volume 2 (1993-2001) please tell me about it. I want to hear other people's thoughts, and perspectives on the run.

[fanfic-gallery]

Hi, can you please write a scenario where mc and Levi (obey me) are singing to PS5 - salem ilese, TXT, Alan Walker? I love your writing so much and I love how you're so creative!!

Me or the PS5

✎ Leviathan x Reader

✎ Regret was slowly sinking into his abdomen, he was given a weakness and you helped him out, only for him to take advantage of your kindness. He had to choose, you or the PS5..

✎ Tags: gn! reader, hurt/comfort, jealousy

: ̗̀➛ Manager's/Author's note: this song also gives me kenma vibes, just imagine kenma comforting a salty reader because he had been in his room for days, turns out he was having a subathon livestream. aH- we’re off topic- but if you guys do like the idea, please tell me! Anyways back to Levi! [ also thank you for the compliment 🥺 ]

It was fine, well, you can’t be for sure..

It had been weeks after ultramarine nails tear through the warping paper to reveal the smooth white coloured box. His orange hues sparkling in such joy, his legs still slightly sore from jumping up and down so much. Lucifer had managed to cut off his bankings, only agreeing to open it for more reasonable needs. So as fans swarm and drained the sales of the console, Levi could only stare at disarray.

Puffy and teary eyes, nose stuff, leaving small sniffled here and there, left you weak at the knee. The more you stared at it, the more tempted you were to give anything for your little sea monster to stop his whimpers.

“You’re the best!”

“Mm, love you too~”

Or so you thought..

Day after day, it had been nothing but eyes glued to the same pixelated bodies of the platform formulated mmorpg. Not once had he flinched at the subtle touches grazing upon his skin. Your lips ghosting over his ear, warm breaths fanning over the outer shell as you whispered. Nothing.

You were so pissed yet not wanting to cause a scene, decided to just doodle, sketch and write in your notebook. Thoughts one by one coming together, lyrics slowly forming in your head about wanting to kick the shit out of that plastic box that would even make Cerberus cowar. One verse turned into two and a chorus, though the sound of the clinking sword within the screen was nagging at you, ‘causing your sudden departure towards your room for some peace and quiet.

This went on for days, you staying in your room and only coming out for the nessentials, too occupied with your unfinished song. Your missing presence and aura now alerting the gaming Levi. Checking his clock, DDD and displaced watch, knowing you should have came in by now. Yet nothing. With a sigh, he got up and pressed pause for the first time in days before walking out into the halls.

The dread of sleep slowly got to his nerves, eyelids itching to shut the moment he even lays on a flat surface. With his best affords he managed to reach your door, though he was a bit disappointed to see an empty room with nothing but crumpled and balled up paper decorating the floorboards.

Strolling in, amber eyes trying to get accustomed to the dimmer lighting, before a shimmering light of white attracted his attention. Your notebook, opened and on display, letters and number of your handwriting aligned in paragraphs. Reading it gave off rhyme and rhythm, Levi squeaked a little when noticing the similarities of the descriptions and behaviour of the male in the song matching his all too well.

Cogs turned and turned before a bright light bulb shined. The corner of his lips tugging into a frown. He had been neglecting you, he prioritized his leaderboard over you, but to keep the efforts of not causing a riot, you kept to yourself, burying your feelings within you. It must have been eating you alive, bite after bite, slowly getting to your mind, yet you were patient enough to wait for his return.

“Y/N.. ”

He chewed on his lower lip before clocking your pen, reaching for it and writing.

Me or the PS5, you say..?

“Tell me which of us is more your type~” You hummed while entering the confined space of the planetarium. You plopped down on the stone seatings, uncapping your fountain pen but before you could press down, you couldn’t help but stare.

The leftover empty spaces were filled. How?

“ My love, know I'm in for the long ride.. ”

        “ I'm not playing games of the wrong kind ”

That voice..

You snapped back around, those familiar orange hues, vibrant overalls and headphones. No doubt it was your little sea monster coming out the prison you deemed his room.

“ Could be keeping secrets and telling lies ”

        “ But I'm just online, and I can promise you ”

You scooted backwards, the pit of your stomach empty like the void, terrified of the possibilities if he got his hands on you. Anger was all you thought. There was no way he wasn’t. Eyes shutted, waiting for the impact of your back to the brick wall.

“ I'll never play ya, I'll find a way to ”

        “ Show you I'm grateful, so I'm begging you ”

The embrace of your hand clasped between the concrete seat and a palm caused you to open one eye. Nothing but Levi’s hand over yours, his face flushed to the point of no return as he hummed to the tune.

“ Two minutes only, you'll get a trophy ”

        “ I'm staying faithful ”

He turned back, his lips pressed into a smile, eyes swirling with sincerity. Red spread across your features as well, the lingering image of his face still engraved in your mind, leaving you in a giggling mess, corners shimmering in teardrops.

“ It's me and the PS5 ″

“ Tell me why you making me decide ”

“ Score's never been this high ”

“ So if you don't leave, I can find a way to win you over.. ”

You couldn’t help but grin at the expression he held, red steaming, orange irises not knowing where to stare. The sounding of his heart beating out his chest as you leaned in closer and closer, lips grazing his..

“ Heh~ of course you can~ ”

[ashintheairlikesnow]

You Have to Let Go

For @whumptober2021​′s Day One prompt, “You Have to Let Go” / Betrayal

CW: Forced vampirism, blood drinking, vampire whumpee, whumpee takes revenge, referenced drug addiction

1908, somewhere outside of New York City

“You can’t keep this up forever.” William, one of the oldest members of the pack at just over a century, lays on his back on a chaise, his head hanging off, looking upside-down at the newest vampire in the pack.

Blood does not pool in his head or redden his cheeks, although he’s been like that for an hour or more. He stays pale, his hair and skin and even his eyes all nearly the same shade. It gives him the appearance of a ghost, although he’s solid enough.

Cold, and solid.

More marble statue than man, now. And yet still more man than animal, though that depends a little on the viewer’s perspective.

“Watch, watch me try,” Tristan hisses back at him from where he sits, curled up in the corner of the room, arms around his bent legs. He stares at a mostly-healed scar on his left knee, from a time he tripped and fell in the dark of the basement downstairs. It’ll be there forever now, he’s told, a reminder for eternity of the wounds he wore when he died. 

He pushes on it. There’s no pain.

Of course there isn’t. Pain is your body trying to warn you not to die, and he’s already dead. What is there to warn him of now? All the worst things have already happened. 

There’s a soft cry from an adjacent room, woozy and almost sultry. An answering murmur in Malorie’s low voice. There’s a flirty laugh, and then the next sound is less cry than moan. He’d blush if he still could. Instead, he ignores the sound. Someone paying money for the oblivion the venom offers them, or paying in skin and blood. 

Vampires aren’t picky, and blood renews much faster than coins, anyway.

“We gave you a gift. Wrapped it all up in a bow for you, didn’t we? ” William has an odd accent, like he’s a mix of Brit and something else that Tristan doesn’t recognize. There’s a mocking lilt to his tone that Tristan knows from his own childhood, the landowner’s children teasing him for his oddities and for the way they felt all the families working their land were more or less the same. Tris hadn’t been the favorite of the other farmers’ kids - there’d been whispers behind hands about all the bits of him that weren’t like other children - but they’d banded together against the landowner’s children still. He remembered with fuzzy affection the others picking up rocks more than once to throw in his defense.

There were still parts of home where there were rumors of changeling children, and his mother had angrily shouted down an accusation more than once, when he was young and caught lining up river rocks in perfect circles. But for all that there might be whispers from the old, the other village children had always stuck together when someone from outside came mocking.

He’d been so happy to get away from the town, going on the ship with his parents to America. Tears threaten at the memory of his mother holding him at the edge of the ship, the salt-spray in his face as they set off and away from home and toward what she promised would be a grand new one. 

Her sister had gone ahead first, years before, and had written glowing letters about America as a land of chances that Ireland didn’t offer. 

He wondered, bitterly, if his aunt had already been hooked on the venom by then. If she’d been writing those letters from vampire dens, with a pair of fangs buried in her other arm while she signed Your loving sister, Joanne.

Had she known she would try to sell him before she ever saw his face? Had she sold his parents’ lives, too, somehow?

He wishes, fierce and strong, that they had never left Ireland at all. That his mother had known not to trust Joanne as far as she could throw her. Too late, though. Too late.

Joanne the only one left standing, now. The rest of them are dead.

Even Tristan, who can be dead and still be separated from his parents by the gulf of their different kinds of death, who stares into damnation even if he were fully destroyed now. He remembers trying to confess his sins to a priest who chased him from the church with screams of demon, demon, begone. His soul has been handed over to evil, and all he’d ever done was try to be good. 

Tristan wipes the pink tears from his cheeks before William can see them. “I, I, I didn’t want your, your gift.”

“Does that matter now?” William flips over onto his stomach and drops to the floor into a crouch, smiling. His fangs glimmer in the dimness, as the night stretches on and on towards dawn. Already the horizon is going lighter around the edges, a soft dove gray that will lead soon to pink and blue. Already, Tristan can feel an unnatural exhaustion weighing down his bones, the need to sleep while the sun is up.

“To, to me it does.” Tristan leans his head slowly against the wall, closing his eyes. The pulse of thirst is stronger than his heartbeat ever was. 

“You’re not human any longer,” William says, and there’s a gentleness to his voice that Tristan is surprised by, turning to look at him. “You have to let go of all that. You’re not it any longer, and won’t be again. But isn’t this better?”

Tristan blinks once, twice. “No,” He whispers but fiercely. “I’ve, I’ve, been, um, I’ve been made a murderer, against my will. What of that is, is better?”

“All men kill, one way or another.” William shrugs, casual and unbothered. “We are only more honest about it and our reasons. But here, look, I’ve had one more thing done.”

He claps his hands. Tristan flinches at the sound, but the soft murmurings of the pack from other rooms goes silent. Then they drift into the parlor, one by one. Malorie is still wiping her latest partner’s blood from around the corners of her mouth, smiling. 

There are seven in the pack, not counting Tristan himself. He tries not to count himself.

When he looks now he frowns, seeing only five. “William?”

“We’ve one more gift for you,” William says, and gestures to the open double-sized doorway. 

Tristan stares as the last two members of the pack appear, with his aunt held between them, bound until she has to be dragged and cannot walk on her own.

Joanne’s eyes are wild, rimmed in bright white. She is gagged, cloth tied over her mouth until it bites viciously into the corners of her mouth. She sees him and begins to struggle anew, shouting as best she can. Nonsense sounds, muffled, pointless shouting. 

He can’t tell if she is begging for her life or cursing him.

He wishes he could believe it’s the former.

“What, what, what what what is this?” His words are barely a whisper, as he unfolds himself, pushing up onto his feet. His gums begin to itch around where his fangs have grown, the venom ready. 

“She’s behind in her payments again,” Alyssa says, laying her head on Joanne’s shoulder, her long brown hair falling half over her face. “In too deep. Chases the fang and doesn’t pay her rent, doesn’t pay us either.”

Tristan stands perfectly still, feeling nearly frozen. His aunt’s terror and panic are something he can smell, now, the sharp tang of adrenaline. It sours the blood, but there are vampires who prefer it that way. Who say the sour taste of pain and fear is a higher form of flavor.

William steps up to his side, running a hand down Tristan’s arm. He flinches away from the touch, but he knows better than to move away from the pack leader more than that. His chin tucks down in unconscious submission to William’s will. “You, you, you you you want me, to, to… kill her?”

“You miss your family,” William says, softly. “It ties you to your old life.” He smiles, something Tristan can see from the corner of his eyes, and leans his head slowly against Tristan’s, mingling white and red hair together. “She’s the reason they’re lost to you, right?”

“Yes,” He whispers in reply, turning slightly into the touch. William’s cool hands comes to cup his face, and he presses a soft kiss, light as air, against Tristan’s cheek, the corner of his mouth, finally presses their lips together.

It’s all sensation without temperature, and Tristan hums, opening his mouth for it, letting William take what he wants. His packleader’s tongue finds his fangs, presses against the venom glands just above and behind them. 

A tingle of venom falls onto Tristan’s tongue.

William hums. “Good boy,” He whispers, making Tristan shudder, half-disgusted and half-grateful for the praise. 

Joanne’s struggles kick up into a frenzy, but they do her no good. She’s bound so tightly that her wrists are rubbing raw to bleeding, and he can smell it. Saliva gathers in his mouth, his venom pulsing, sizzling on his tongue like a hot pepper eaten raw. He finds himself shaking, hands clinging now to William’s arms just to stay standing.

Joanne welcomed them when they got off the boat. But she’d snubbed Tristan’s father, had never liked him. She’d helped them find work, and all along she’d gone places at odd hours of the day and night. 

All she’d said to him after his parents died and he moved in with her was that his mother was never meant to die. She’d been meant to be out of the apartment, but had decided not to go on the errand to the woman who took in piecework, and Joanne had told him, I didn’t know she’d be home, or I’d have changed the day, wouldn’t I?

Then she said he should stop mewling in his grief, and slapped him full in the face for it. 

His lips pull back from his teeth, although he isn’t quite aware of it. Only of the taste of blood in the air on his tongue. 

“Have your revenge,” William whispers, the devil tempting a boy who has never been a saint. Tristan wonders if his mother will hate him, in her eternal rest, that he isn’t strong enough to resist this chance. 

He tips his head back and lets William mouth along the line of his neck.

“Let death come upon them, and let them go down alive into hell.” The verses come easily, without stammering. He was always better at reciting what he’d been taught to memorize, the words his mother read and reread to him, than at speaking for himself. “For there is wickedness in their dwellings, in, in the midst of them. But I have cried to God: and the Lord will save me.” His lips twist, and the tears burn so hot it feels like they are boiling over his eyes and down his cold skin. “But, but, but I cried, Aunt Jo, and-... and and and no one saved, um, saved me.”

He turns away from William and meets his aunt’s eyes.

She stares back at him, still struggling, still fighting. The blood from her torn-open arms runs down her hands behind her back, dripping to the floor. He can hear each droplet hit one by one. He can smell the fear in her, and he can smell what she’s spent her day doing. That she slept late, and ate at a place down the block from their tenement where the old woman sells sandwiches, the big blocks of meat carved to order. 

He can smell that she never thought of him at all, as she prepared to come here, to the den, for venom she can pour into a cocktail. He can smell even the way she was surprised when they told her there would be no more credit for her, she must pay now or perish.

She can’t pay. There is nothing left. She’s long since spent every bit of scratch that she gained from the deaths of her sister and brother-by-marriage, the extra cash that came from selling her nephew into… this.

He’s been moving across the floor and barely noticed. He’s only a foot or so away from her now, and the smell of her sweat is as strong as her blood. His pack members can see the fight in him fading, he’s sure, because their eyes are overbright and glittering with excitement. 

He holds her gaze.

It’s easier, since he died, to look people in the eyes. He’s not sure why.

“You,” He says, in a low voice that no longer trembles. “You made it so, so, so so I won’t ever be seeing them again. As a cloud is consumed, and passeth away: so he that shall go down to hell shall not come up. If, if you had, if I had died with them, if I…”

His throat feels like it’s closing, his voice dries up. 

“But, but, but, but you made me be damned,” Tristan manages, finally, his voice thready and barely-there. “Even if… even if I, if someone, if I am… I’ll still never, um, never see them again. We are, are, are, are both damned, now.”

William, just behind him, a cool presence the same temperature as the air around them, hums, interested. His hands rub up and down Tristan’s arms. “Will you kill her, Tristan? Have your vengeance? We’ll clean what’s left up for you.”

“No.”

Everyone inhales, although they don’t need to, in surprise.

Tristan stares one last time into his aunt’s frightened eyes. “I, I, I won’t, won’t kill her. But, um, but but but… but… I want… want you, your gift to be something else, William.”

“Name it, little brother.”

I’m not your brother.

He doesn’t bother with the protest. Not anymore.

“Turn her,” He says, softly. “And then, um, then then then wall her up in, in the cellar, and and and leave her, to, to starve.”

“A new vampire who doesn’t feed faces the true death anyway, in a month or two,” Malorie points out. When Joanne turns her head away, Malorie grabs her by the hair, forcing her to look back at Tristan with a cry of pain. 

“I don’t care. I, I, I just want her to, um, to suffer.”

He walks away, moving around the little group, and out into the growing new light of the early dawn. His bones already feel weighed down by the promise of sunlight. 

There is a workshop, a rickety wooden shed, in the yard. Tristan moves into it, closing the door to give himself a nearly-total darkness, and burrows down into the dirt, curling into a ball, closing his eyes. His hand grasps, instinctively, at a rosary he can no longer wear. Finding nothing, he finally goes still.

He hears one long wailing scream from his aunt from within the house, and then no more sound at all. 

He wonders how long it will take her to have her first death.

He wonders how long it will take for her to feel her second death, the true death, as she is starved of the blood her body needs to fully become the monster she had Tristan himself made into.

His mother would care.

Tristan doesn’t.

He falls asleep as the sun comes up, at the same time his aunt’s body shuts down bit by bit. Her heartbeat is the last thing to still.

Tristan’s heart stopped beating nearly four years ago.

-

@mylifeisonthebookshelf @insaneinthepaingame @keeper-of-all-the-random-things @burtlederp @finder-of-rings @endless-whump @newandfiguringitout @astrobly @gonna-feel-that-tomorrow @pretty-face-breaker @doveotions @boxboysandotherwhump @oops-its-whump @cubeswhump @whump-tr0pes @downriver914 @whumptywhumpdump @whumpiary @orchidscript @nonsensical-whump @outofangband @what-a-whump

[becomingbts]

Time heals (sometimes) - Teaser 1

Summary: 6 years ago, (Y/N) thought that she was finally taking her life into her hands, leaving behind a toxic and abusive relationship with a man who taught her she’d never be worthy of love. However, it became hard to ignore his words when she met her seven soulmates who rejected her without even giving her a chance to prove herself. It took (Y/N) 3 years to realize that it wouldn’t be her end. She would live on to prove them all wrong; she would become what they all thought she wasn’t: someone worthy of love. And as she stands proudly on the stage, under the burning spotlights and the applause and the cries of the delirious crowd, she feels alive. Alive, just like the bond she believed to be broken.

Pairings: Y/N x OT7

GENRE: Soulmate AU!, Idol Y/NAU!, semi social-media AU!, ANGST (mainly), fluff, romance, maybe smut in the series.

Ask or comment to be tagged!

Warnings: The series is going to be heavy with a lot of personal experiences mixed into the fiction, so this is going to be kind of therapeutic for me. Please, consider not reading the series if you are not comfortable with: abandonment issues, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, self-harm (not descriptive and only part of MC’s past), suicide thoughts (in the past), toxic behavior, toxic and abusive relationship (in the past), depreciating self-talk and low self-esteem, a lot of curse, physical and mental pain, near death experience situation (in the past), and maybe smut scenes (happy ending though, but it will probably be quite the ride).

NOTE: I was thinking of “Moonchild” and for some reasons, some memories I’d prefer to have forgotten came back to my mind and instead of making a full-blown panic attack like I used to, I thought that it would make a great plot if I mingled that with a soulmate and idol verse and that’s how I started going into it. This is going to be loaded with personal experiences, even if they’ll probably be a bit differently explained compared to what I experienced. Despite the heavy themes and many warnings, I hope you guys will like it. I think I really needed to write it. It will be a semisocial media AU!, because I like the idea of being to write some of their conversations through texts. However, I do plan on fully writing most of it. Though, you’ll have some updates about their social medias as I will update their profiles soon after you see this. I will probably mix a lot of different media for this story such as songs written and produced by myself. I’ll upload for real MC’s EP. So expect a lot for this story. Please take well care, feedback is always very warmly welcomed, it helps me to write for real. If you need to talk to someone, my dms are always opened and if you really don’t feel well, please call urgency numbers.

Thank you for reading,

-Dolly

"And we will close our night show with the most awaited segment! The audience jumped during the commercial break, it's amazing how many people just joined us! Welcome to our interview segment and especially, welcome and thank you so much for being with us Moon!”

"Of course, thank you for having me on your radio show." 

"Thank you for coming! I have to mention that this is your very first interview with another media than your usual personal platforms like Vlive, YouTube, or Instagram, so we are honored to be the first ones to greet you! Do you plan on making more activities outside your personal schedule for the promotion of your new album?" 

"If I may be honest, not really. I'm the most comfortable in my own safe zone and I tend to try not to get out of it too often. It might close some doors to me but I'm comfortable with my fans that way. However, I often listen to this radio show and a lot of my fans were enthusiastic about that so I thought: why not."

"Ah, thank you so much, it means a lot! Your fans are indeed a strong community and they support you whether you go to TV shows or not. Besides, you've been a very active artist on social media and your whole career started on YouTube and SoundCloud before you signed to your current agency. We have to congratulate you on your journey! It's barely been two years but here you are, with your second EP 'People'! Congratulations on the release!" 

"Thank you very much."

“For our listeners who might not know who Moon is, I’m going to introduce her to you: Moon, your real name is (Y/N), you were born on August 4th, 1998, Incheon and your mother was American so you pursued your studies in America. You have been taking online classes since the start of your career at the HULT, university of Florida, and even recently got your Business Bachelor, now aiming for a Ph.D. You started your journey on Youtube, uploading covers and vlogs until you finally started producing your own songs, releasing them on Soundcloud. You started gaining a lot of followers; thus, you started on other social media such as Twitter or Instagram. One year ago, you release your first EP called ‘BALANCE’  which is the reason why the music label BigHit reached to you and asked you if you wanted to sign with them. Did I get everything right?”

“You are. It feels like you know my life better than I do.”

"Ah not at all, but thank you, I am glad that I didn’t say something wrong! Would you mind sharing the concept of this EP? Many of your fans probably already know but maybe some of our daily listeners might not!" 

"Of course. As you said, 'People' is my second EP, yet the first to be studio recorded. Signing with BigHit is a big step in my career and it created a lot of changes, hence I decided to focus on the people I have met, stayed with, became close to, or detached myself from… This is dedicated to the people who changed my life, whether they intended to or not. It could be interpreted as my social life diary in a way." 

"I see, many of your fans have said that the album held a very distinct duality, with a bright and a much darker side that made quite the storm on social media. ‘Y/N our Moon’ and ‘MOONISBACK’ trended for a few nights on Twitter. Do you have anything you'd like to say about that?" 

"I guess it was a surprise because this mini-album is really raw and uncensored. I didn't try to sugarcoat it nor to romanticize my experiences. I hope it brings comfort to people who haven't been feeling well. Because I think that it’s always easy to say that it's going to be okay to someone who’s not feeling well. Everything doesn’t suddenly become okay. And it's fine to be hurting, you can learn to live with this pain and move on while still hoping for better days. There is no end to hopes, and this is why my EP has a brighter side to it. Not everything is always a vast cold ocean. Sometimes, there are small or big waves that come crashing into our universe and they form something that we couldn't have imagined. They bring a little piece of sunshine in life and it helps to move on. So I hope that people who are struggling know that, despite how insignificant I might be, there is a person that understands and can relate to their struggles. I hope it can comfort them, even just slightly, to know that they are not alone." 

"That's a beautiful way to put it."

"Ah, thank you." 

"I have to ask because I'm really curious and I’m definitely not the only one: a lot of your fans have been theorizing about who could your title track ‘TIME’ be about? I have to ask you on the behalf of everyone. Is it okay for me to break the mystery?" 

"Time is a track that shouldn’t have made it to the EP. It’s a bit like a fit of personal anger that I didn’t know I needed to let out.”

“Your anger was definitely heard and understood. People have been curious about the addressee of the song especially because of the line ‘maybe it’s time I finally let go of you’. So can you tell us who is it about?” 

“Uh...Time was written for my seven soulmates who rejected me years ago." 

"Seven!?"

"Yeah, it's a lot I know.”

“Is that why you have covered your soul mark with this tattoo on your arm? Netizens talked about it a lot; normally idols tend to cover their arm from the public eyes to avoid for their soulmates’ names to be known, but instead, you were proudly showing your tattooed arm, fully covering what might be under the ink. Many people assumed that it meant that you didn’t have a soulmate at all.” 

“Well, I decided to cover the mark because there was no reason for me to keep it without hurting myself. I decided that I have been hurt enough to let myself take a rest. I didn’t see the point in hiding my arm either, I’m proud of my tattoo, I mean; it’s really a beautiful piece in my opinion. But to answer the assumptions, I don’t consider that I have soulmates anymore, hence why the tattoo as well." 

"This is really a heartbreaking story, it must have been extremely hard. Breaking a soul bond is immensely dangerous, my link with my husband already itches when I spend the day away from him, so seven soul bonds? It must have been terrible." 

"It was, but the most important is where I am now. I'm not lingering on that anymore because they made their choices and I thus made mine. I just hope that they all are healthy and happy where they are." 

"I have to say I'm really impressed (Y/N)-shi, you really have a delicate and caring soul. I probably wouldn't be able to have such soft words about your soulmates had I been in your shoes."

"I think living the actual experience made me reflect on myself a lot. I'm comfortable where I am now, I'm able to do music and make what I love. I have nothing to complain about, I'm surrounded by lovely and supportive fans, I have the best manager I could have ever hoped for and a warm and healthy family. I don't need more on my side." 

"I'm glad you are happy then. Many of your fans have pointed out it's really hard to make you smile and some wonder if you are happy, especially after the release of ‘TIME’, I don’t blame some of your fans for being worried." 

"Ahhh, is smiling the only way to prove that we are happy? I believe my words are usually a bit more impactful than my facial expressions. I have to admit that I don't often smile, it's not a bad thing, at least I don't think so, but I just don't feel the need to smile when I don’t feel like it. Besides, I get shy easily when I expose my emotions too much." 

"It's hard to imagine you being shy but at the same time now that I have you in front of me, our listeners cannot see you, but I definitely feel that you have a very shy and reserved aura despite the energy you give off when you are on stage. It’s not unfriendly either, but you’re just very soft-spoken and quiet in everything you do. Like when you came in, I barely heard you entering at all; you’re just silently making your way without a fuss, it’s really endearing, to be honest."

"Ah... I’ve been told that my stage persona and the ‘me’ in real life were two different entities but I don’t really think it’s true. I'm extremely introverted and it doesn't really mix well with the stage. So I just put it on the side for the people who came to see me and deserve to see more than a 24 years old woman who has troubles speaking without stuttering in front of other people." 

"You stutter when you have to speak in front of other people?" 

"Sometimes it happens when I’m nervous, and I’m very often nervous. Like right now, I’m extremely nervous. But it's something I'm working on." 

"Well it's definitely paying off because I couldn't sense that you were nervous at all, just very calm and soft, but I wouldn’t be able to imagine you being nervous enough to stutter."

"A lot of artists actually have stage fright, most of them just don't want to admit it because it doesn't sound sexy when you tell your fans you're actually shaking before going up there for the show." 

"This is very true, but it's refreshing to hear it from someone who actually lives through that rather than fan theories." 

"That's understandable." 

"Our time is coming to the end, do you have anything you would like to add before we sadly get our mics taken away?" 

"Oh uhm, everyone, my new mini-album 'People' came out very recently and yet it already received a lot of love so I want to thank you for that. This EP was a very personal project and I was worried about how it would be welcomed but you all made me realize that I have nothing to fear because we'll always find someone who can relate to our stories. As long as I can help even one person with my songs, then it's enough for me. Thank you for listening to me and my voice. I hope we'll be able to meet soon. Love you my fans and non-fans as well, please take well care of yourselves in those times. Be careful and stay safe. Wear your mask!" 

“Thank you so much Moon for being with us tonight. Our time was short but I really enjoyed it, I hope our listeners were able to feel that very warm presence of yours through the mic. ‘Give Me A Song’ of Moon’s EP ‘People’ will now be playing and we will see each other tomorrow night with IU for the release of her new album LILAC. Take care!”

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Uploaded : 08/04/2021

[hibiscera]

Can you share some of your CrowMoth thoughts? It’s a ship I’ve never really heard of but your posts have given me brain worms

Okay I’ve been itching to answer this ALL WEEKEND and now I finally have a moment.

So as per usual, what I’m about to say applies particularly to the DC verse I write with my best friend, but I think it can still have potential regardless.

In simplest thoughts, it boils down to, like. I like Drury being a moth obsessed mad scientist who turns himself into a moth monster in a desperate bid to change himself and find a self where he’s happy. And obviously Jonathan is a mad chemist. And also bugs are creepy and that’s his whole thing. T4T weird boy mad scientist couple.

Going deeper into it… Drury, before he turned himself into a moth man, when he was just starting out as Killer Moth… he was very much repressing a lot about himself still. His life up to then was troubled, as it usually is for Gotham rogues, and his main thing was always like. He needs to CHANGE, in order to finally be respected and not treated like shit. When he’s starting out as Killer Moth though, he’s trying to hold back who he is in order to pursue a sense of normalcy in his life. Try to be a NORMAL man with a NORMAL wife living a NORMAL life. While. Occasionally dressing up as a moth in order to make money and be out of the house because he feels suffocated. Normal Man Stuff.

Meanwhile Jonathan is someone who has long accepted who he is and fully embraces that, in a sense. By dressing up as a Scarecrow and scaring people. And I think upon meeting each other, Jonathan is very like… i want to study him about Drury JDHDIDBJDGFJD about Drury is fascinated with Jonathan, and just. Scoots closer to him. I think being friends with him would make Drury start to come into himself more. And it’s slightly homoerotic.

It helps that Jonathan would actually be interested in his insect related infodumps because Hehe bugs creepy. (:

And then Drury turns himself into a moth monster through science and Jonathan WOULD think that’s hot and I know I’m right.

THERE’S MORE TO IT but my thoughts are a little scattered right now. But that kind of explains the bare bones of it?? Mostly I love trans autistic mad science couples. Also imagine Jonathan being like a step-dad to Kitten. She would rip him to shreds and I think that’s funny.

I WILL PROBABLY POST MORE ABOUT THEM INEVITABLY AND I AM ALWAYS HAPPY TO TALK ABOUT THEM THO

[voiceless-terror]

my magnus finale and season five thoughts under the cut!

I’ll preface this by saying there were a lot of things I loved about this finale, and none of this is intended to start a debate or fight! It’s simply my feelings about what happened, and everyone’s entitled to their own (and entitled to love/hate what happened!). I totally respect how much others adored this and the wonderful art that’s coming of it. These are, again, just my own thoughts.

I really loved the first half of this. After Jon’s compliance in the last episode (that I found a bit troubling), I was really glad to see that he made the decision to confront Jonah himself and stuck by the idea of not dooming the other worlds. For one, I think it would have been narratively unsatisfying to have Martin be the one to kill Jonah- because let’s face it, while all the assistants have good reason to, this was really Jon’s confrontation to have. And I loved it! The conversation, Jonah begging not to die, and Jon saying - for Sasha, for Tim, hell, even for Gertrude. He never forgets Jonah’s victims or his own friends, and that’s such a core part of his character. 

And I loved the statement. I was hoping we’d get one last one, and this one knocked it out of the park for me. Pupil!Jon is top hot Jon moments, and no I will not be taking questions on this. The soundscaping in this entire episode was brilliant.

I’ll start off by saying I understand narratively why the second half happened. It does make sense to me - that Jon’s final wishes end up being undercut by his love for Martin, and the last moments for me are desperately romantic and sad and lovely and I’m glad that they happened- it leaves so much room for us as an audience to decide what we think happened, and how to go from there. It’s a real gift to creators and though I for one will probably not be able to touch the finale for awhile, writing-wise, I am already itching to write some of my other projects!

But it happened so quickly for me. The pacing and change of heart is so about-face, mostly because of the situation- everything’s crumbling, we don’t really have time for much, if any dialogue. But Jon’s abrupt switch in plans when he was so committed to not dooming the multi-verse, the quick conversation of ‘oh we didn’t trust you so we already started going ahead with it,’ the whole thing was a bit rushed for me, and I think the pacing of this last arc has left a lot to be desired, personally. Again, I’m not saying it doesn’t make sense in its own way, I just don’t think the pacing of this season was the best that it could’ve been. 

What also has been bothering me this season is Jon and Martin’s relationship (again, this is a personal take, it’s not something I expect everyone to agree with, at all). Martin’s not a character who was an initial fave for me at all, but I grew to love and appreciate him so that by the end of season four, I was really invested in Jon and Martin’s relationship and arc! It felt real and organic to me, and it was something to fight for. This stays mostly true for the first part of the season.

But then it gets a bit murky for me. We get the constant schtick of Martin going ‘a statement? Again?’ and this almost constant uncomfortable tension between him and Jon that never sat right with me. He wants Jon to not push any decisions on him, he doesn’t want to hear any statements, he wants his boundaries respected, but he doesn’t really do the same in regards to Jon. While I know the stress of the apocalypse is definitely a factor, it didn’t seem very ‘Martin’ to me, or at least the Martin that’s grown and changed since the first season. There’s a difference between going from being a wallflower to being assertive, and maybe because he’s never had a chance to really be confident and self assured, he doesn’t know how to do it in a way that isn’t a little hurtful. And while these can be normal and realistic parts of a relationship that are in some cases addressed, it’s realistic for me in a way that I don’t feel comfortable with. The way Martin is the one who pushes the ‘kill bill’ arc, especially in the Simon episode where he pretty much commands Jon to kill Simon, and his non-apology at the end of that episode (and the eventual fight where he accuses Jon of being the one to ‘enjoy it too much’). The time at Upton house that for me, is just uncomfortable knowing that Jon is actively dying and by the end, Martin doesn’t seem to realize it until he’s told (and then, when Jon says ‘was I wrong to hold off?’ Martin says no, that he enjoyed the time, and I just don’t think that Martin would ever condone that sort of self-sacrificial shit from Jon, as we see later on in the season!!). And then the fight, where Martin says some pretty awful and untrue things, and runs off with Annabelle- these are all things that could be forgiven, and are! But the apologies from Martin have all been lackluster with a tinge of ‘well I was right, wasn’t I?’ and the narrative doesn’t dispute that, and in fact seems to want us to side with some of his more (in my opinion) impulsive and not very great decisions. Jon very rarely fights back against him, and the times he has, its almost framed as if what he says/his transgressions are worse. I think if Jon acted in the way Martin did for some of this season, fandom would riot. But it's Martin, so he seems to get a free pass to act this way and have it be framed in a much better light. This is again, my own opinion about the text, I’m not saying anyone that disagrees with me is wrong. It’s just how it came off to me, and as someone who has been in relationships with similar sort of issues (on a very non apocalyptic scale, of course) it didn’t sit right with me.

So in the end, Jon goes off to confront Jonah on his own, which some are calling stupid or impulsive. But it’s not to me- this is Jon’s moral compass, and he’s sticking by it. For him to go along with the plan would be wildly out of character, and I’m glad he did this. The way it ended was ultimately satisfying to me, and leaves room for a lot of interpretation. But the way it got there wasn’t really what I wanted. And I say this as someone who really does enjoy jonmartin, and will continue to do so! I hope in a thousand fix it fics they get to talk and go to therapy and work on these issues on their own. But the way Jon and Martin’s relationship was presented over this season wasn’t comfortable for me, the trust issues and lack of communication was never resolved and I’m sort of disappointed with that overall. 

I’m glad we got the ending we did, and I’m going to continue to love these guys for a good while yet. This is, again, not intended to start a debate, I don’t want to fight or engage with anyone like that because I really do respect everyone’s opinions on this season and final arc, and these are just my own thoughts. You are well within your rights to disagree with me on these things! But I just thought I’d share my own feelings about this last season. I’ve loved these characters for a really long time, and I’ve been listening since the end of 2017 so I have a lot of thoughts to sit with right now. But I’ll still definitely be writing and in this fandom for the long haul...especially if I want to reconcile the things I didn’t particularly vibe with xD

Hnnn back to my regularly scheduled posting, sorry for the long rambling thoughts.