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hollyand-writes · 4 years

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Just wanted to say that I saw your post about Blond Boy Romance discourse and wanted to thank you for such a succinct write-up about Anders. I got into the fandom in late 2019 and i was SO confused about this huge gap in art and fic. Like, dead links and missing blogs and deleted posts. And I couldn’t figure out what happened because no one was talking about it, and I’m very shy after a mess in my last fandom. So...yeah. Thank you for writing that up, it’s nice to finally know what happened even though it’s really depressing. Also, thanks for staying in this fandom. You’re a wonderful example to others and an amazing creator.

Hello wanderingnork, and a very belated welcome to the fandom! 🙌🏾 Well. Welcome to what’s left of the fandom anyway LOL ❤️

Thanks so much for reaching out and sending me this really kind ask message (the post being referred to is my addition/reblog here) but yeah, I guess for those who weren’t in Dragon Age 2 fandom or the Anders side of fandom between December 2017—July 2018 you wouldn’t have seen how horrifying the bullying got. I’ve seen at least 3 people who aren’t friends with me reblog my post saying that what I described was why they themselves quit DA fandom or the Anders side of fandom too.

And those are the Anders fans who DIDN’T delete their Tumblr blogs. Obviously the ones who DID delete and/or quit aren’t here to confirm that they, too, quit over that Anders wank in 2018.

The worst of it was that the wank was started entirely by a group of Anders fans who – to my knowledge – still see themselves as the real victims to this day, even though they only stopped their callout posts and bullying (both in public and behind the scenes in private) when they learned that the Anders fanartist they were bullying was considering taking legal action. (You KNOW things are bad when fandom wank gets so bad that it becomes actual harassment that breaks the law.) And like I said, they posted some pretty shitty things about those of us who were friends with this artist too, causing many of us to block them.

They backtracked like fuck in July 2018, but after seven months (maybe more?) of constantly bullying this one popular Anders fanartist (who’d repeatedly apologised, deleted the NSFW sideblog AND the offending art, and posted how the whole thing had driven that artist to a breakdown and suicidal thoughts), maybe it should never have got that far?

I don’t know how active they are in DA fandom now – but I DO know one of them notoriously posted that us blocking them was “bullying”, and that “bullying is child abuse” for “children” like themselves... despite the fact that they admitted they were 23 and therefore were very much not a fucking minor or child. (They had a lot to say about how WE should have been responsible for their “online safety” as well, and that Anders was their “comfort character” whom they only wanted to see sweet fluff content for, and they regularly triggered themselves by searching out Anders content that was less than fluffy or sweet to complain about on their blog. Not to mention how many of us queer POC Anders creators in our 20s and 30s – including the Anders artist they bullied – were accused of being “white” and “boomer-passing” for defending Anders content they didn’t like LMAO)

I’m so sorry to hear about the huge gap in art and fic you experienced on coming in to Tumblr Dragon Age fandom, but given how many creators took one look at the bullying and thought “fuck this, I’m leaving” and either deleted their blogs or Anders posts/fic/art/meta or simply left for kink-friendlier fandoms, I am honestly not surprised to hear this. I am also sorry to hear that there was a mess in your last fandom too; and I hope that this fandom is better to you.

Dragon Age fandom is a difficult fandom to be in, but trust me when I say there are lots of good people in it. They’re just harder to find, and often they’re not as prominent or in-your-face as the nastier types. But I know they’re there because I’ve found them, and I treasure them, and I’ve been here since 2014.

I think really all we can do is block the haters as much as possible, and carry on creating whatever the fuck we like – and tagging appropriately. I learned my lesson from that wank in 2018: if someone(s) is really determined to destroy you and just wants you gone, there is no apology or deletion you can give that will be good enough. Besides, there are so many problematic themes and content in Dragon Age canon that I don’t think it’s reasonable to ask creators to completely shy away from exploring those if they want to, or from making OCs that mirror a canon character’s traumatic background, or from writing/drawing canon characters as anything less than healthy and wholesome and pure (which NONE of them are in canon, anyway) – especially if it’s tagged and warned for.

I mean... we all paid Bioware to purchase and play this 18+ game with its uncomfortable, difficult and sometimes problematic themes and content. I feel that if the Dragon Age franchise was so terrible and traumatic and problematic for someone when playing, then I do question why they joined the fandom afterwards. And I don’t think the onus should fall solely on fandom creators – who are doing this for free, unpaid, in our spare times – to create perfect, unproblematic, wholesome content that just wasn’t in the games themselves. Different people have different definitions of what is “perfect”, “unproblematic” or “wholesome” anyway.

(On that last point: look at how the people behind The Mess callout tried to accuse people of being racist for romancing Cullen with pale-skinned Lavellans; back in 2016/2017 you got accused of being racist for romancing Cullen with darker-skinned Lavellans. How times have changed 🤔 There’s a LOT of content in this fandom that I don’t like, or that squicks/repulses me, but as long as it’s tagged in a way that I can avoid it, I’m not gonna police what people create. And if there’s one thing I’ve noticed the Dragon Age fandom IS very good about doing, it’s that most people are careful about handling problematic topics and content in a sensitive way. So that’s not a thing I worry about.)

Anyway. I’m rambling. But yeah, that recap of 2018 (which several people have confirmed is true now) sums up why there is such a huge gap in Anders fanart and fic, and is why very few people create Anders content anymore – I know I myself abandoned a Garrett Hawke/Anders longfic in 2018 because I didn’t want to create for Handers fans if the only ones around were bullies who believed they were victims. But it’s been well over 2 years now, so.... I might get back to writing that fic. The Gym AU is still very much alive in my brain 👀

So! That’s what happened... but despite everything I want to emphasise that there IS much good in this fandom, even if it’s harder to find among all the shit there is 💩 and that I hope your stay here is a good one. Thank you so much for saying you think I’m a wonderful example to others and an amazing creator, though! ❤️ I don’t know how many people will agree, but I do try!

But yeah, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from being here since 2014 – and from surviving several attempts to run me out of fandom (including for having an elf/human OTP) and off this platform – it’s this: The people change, and the characters and subjects being wanked over change, but fandom wank itself never ever changes.

#wanderingnork #replies #also #tagging this as #anders #fandom wank #fandom critical #long post

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transcendentcacophony · 3 years

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Thinking about Posts and Tumblr

So I responded to an earlier post from @kalesims in the comments. I probably should have reblogged it so I didn't have to break up my response which may have made it less than useful (and potentially read to mean the opposite of what I meant), but I also wanted to move a bit beyond the initial prompt with this longer one. I have not posted much Sims stuff in awhile. Part of this is because school and work demands are eating so much of my time right now1, part of this that ongoing pursuit of perfection we all seem to have to some extent on social media, and part of it is because I may have dumped my entire CC folder into my game without sorting it properly and now it runs like rubbish and I have to fix it. Regardless, I'm going to focus on issue #2 the ongoing pursuit of perfection, because I think this is the most relevant bit and the one I've been thinking a lot about lately. Tumblr is a social media platform. (This bit is a little academic, sorry.) I think we all know that, but do we ever really think about what that means? It's ultimately a company that provides a public-facing platform with the explicit intent of marketing ourselves to each other. More likes and followers for you=more ads and money for Tumblr, but they have to incentivize that for any of us to care. How do they do that? Make it a popularity contest. How often do you look at your likes or followers count? What emotional response do you have when they're low? How many creators incentivize new followers or more likes by releasing content to correlate with milestones in those areas? This is all part of feeding that beast2. It also draws on something referred to academically as the "hedonic treadmill," which is basically the keeping up with the Joneses mentality where we constantly compare our success to our peers and find ourselves wanting, even if we aren't. This is going somewhere, I promise.

When I first started Tumblr, I had one blog: transcendentcacophony. I started it explicitly to follow sims blogs I liked and keep track of the cc I downloaded or things that caught my attention, and my initial posts all reflected that. After I was on for a while, I realized most blogs compartmentalized to a certain degree: you have a blog for gameplay, a blog for cc finds, a blog for interest x, etc., so, not being particularly versed in these things, I thought "This is how you tumble!" and immediately set about creating sideblogs like transcendentcacophonyinspire, transcendentcacophonys3cc, or transcendentcacophonystudyblr. I went through my entire archive, moved everything over to its new home, and deleted the original posts and reblogs from this page. Does that mean I think having all the sideblogs is wrong? Nope. The organization of having sideblogs is sometimes helpful, but they they make me feel kind of fractured on some level. None of these provide an image of a whole person, just brief glimpses of an aspect. Sometimes I regret having split the off, other times I find it more convenient. Mileage may vary, but the obvious winner for the sideblog model is arguably Tumblr. None of my blogs have many followers, but there isn't as much overlap in audience as you might think and if they were all still one blog, I doubt there'd be as many as there are.

This raises the question of who you intend your blog to be for. Is it for Tumblr, so they can keep making that sweet sweet ad revenue? Is it for the online audience? Or is it for you? Who do you see as your primary audience? The structure of social media clearly wants us to say everyone else. "You're here for the likes! The followers! The popularity!" Other companies lean in to this as well. How many followers do you have to have to qualify as an EA Game Changer?

I would argue that it's this pressure to have all likes, followers, etc., that prohibit us from posting what we really want to post. Are you posting the things that actually make you happy? Or are you posting the things that you think an audience wants to see?

Learning anything takes a lot of practice. How many times did you fall off before you learned to ride a bike? How many broken and malformed pots do you make before you get a perfect one? We learn by doing. Waiting for that perfect screenshot or getting reshade just right or having the perfect city in CAW keeps us from posting our broken pots. Maybe we need to post more broken pots.

If something makes us happy, does it need to be perfect, or do we love it anyway? "This is my first pot! It sucks, but I made it! Finishing it alone is an accomplishment! It's mine and I'm learning and I want to show that process so we can all get better together!" Shouldn't our screenshots or gameplay or worldbuilding be the same?

I am building a world in CAW. I've been doing it for quite awhile, and I have an entire folder full of broken pots as a result, but I learned something every time I broke one. When I read CAW forums, I learn more from the ones where things don't work than from ones where they do. I post some of my broken pots, and simmers like @nilxis or @murfeelee are so supportive and helpful and give me tips on how to better and fix issues I'm having. I value that part of this community. I don't learn to do better by not showing off my broken pots.

I know some of my interests are pretty niche. I'm building an alien scifi world, I have conversion projects from games that support that but probably won't be useful to mainstream simmers. I made a series of alien moons in conjunction with simblu, who is now deactivated. These are arguably not things that will get a lot of likes, reblogs, or followers, but they are things that make me happy. Kurt Vonnegut once said when he wrote books, he always wrote with only 2 people in mind: himself and his sister. His goal was that at the very least he would like what he wrote, and a few of the books were written with her in mind, and if anyone else liked it, it was just gravy. I can’t say I’m a fan of the man’s writing, but I kind of like the idea of this mentality.

To that end, I think I'm going to change up how I use this blog moving forward, with the express goal of posting more often and with more emphasis on things that make me happy or show off more of my broken pots. Maybe it will cost me followers, maybe it won't, but it will help me carve this little niche out of the internet that is mine, that makes me happy, and that seeks to support the simmers and other community members3 that have been so supportive of me in the past. If just one or two people get something from it, or are entertained, isn’t that still just as valid?

I don't mean to imply in any way that posting what makes you happy can't make you popular, or gain likes and followers. It's very much possible. Vonnegut wrote his books for himself and he published 14 novels, three short story collections, five plays, and five nonfiction works, complete with film adaptations of several, literary prizes, etc. You can be successful doing what you love.

But I don't know that I need to be successful at it. I want to be happy doing it first, and anything outside of that is gravy. I'm going to post more broken pots and worry less about perfection or "doing it right." I'm going to fall off the bike and get back up and keep going. And maybe, by falling and failing, I'll get better or at least good enough or comfortable enough I'm not worried so much about that quest for perfection that is currently prohibiting me from trying.

Anyways, @kalesims, I don't know if that answers the original question you had. But I'd love to see what you post, be it gameplay, screenshots, cc, etc., really whatever floats your boat, moving forward. And, if you're willing, I'd love to learn by doing together. Let's go break some pots.

1 Whoever decided the best way to avoid outbreaks on campus was to just cancel all breaks and holidays over the last year clearly doesn't understand college students (who very much are still having parties and making up their own breaks) or that the reason we have those breaks is for mental health. Fall break was specifically added to reduce suicide rates among graduate students. And admin wonders why everyone hates them... 2 There's a researcher who looks at social media as a neoliberal marketplace that forces us to monetize ourselves without necessarily allowing us to realize that's what we're doing. She's got a book coming out about it next month if anyone is interested: Pain Generation: Social Media, Feminist Activism, and the Neoliberal Self(ie)

3I have in no way forgotten you, @piyotan, and you are definitely part of my online community, this was just targeted largely at simming.

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quebracabeca · 4 years

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Rules | Atem | Verses

Reading my rules is OBLIGATORY in order to interact with this blog.

This is a sideblog attached to Khxpresh, all follows/likes/asks/etc comes from it! Make sure you’re being followed by it, in the first place.

All of my YGO blogs are on hiatus. I’ll only be around for my friends only & current mutuals. I’m not looking for new partners around this community.

Thanks for the great times!

About the mun:

*Mun’s face-claims are Anubis and Seth from the Oh, suddenly Egyptian God!* Hello there! I am Vani! Any pronouns is fine, idc how you guys will address me by. I am a brazilian, an university student. 25 years old In terms of YGO, I’ve got myself back into it! I haven’t touched this serie since the late 2000s, back when GX was the brand new hot stuff. I’ve watched the anime both dubbed and subbed. If you like my graphics or edits and would like something similar for you, then why not commission me? All my details are here! Promo - 16/09/2021

Some further info:

Atem is being primarily based off the DM anime, I take very little influence from other sources unless it is for an AU.

THIS IS A +18 YEARS OLD BLOG (due to a wide variety of subjects that aren’t suitable for minors). AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE SOFTBLOCKED, REFOLLOWING ME WILL LEAD INTO BLOCKING.

Here’s my threads tracker! (please consider supporting the dev’s work on patreon!)

I tend to reblog fanarts/edits/etc of the following ships: Scandal. If you don’t wish to see them then blacklist the tag: Shipping cw.

There are very few things that I will refuse to write, obviously some subjects/ships/etc might be better kept off tumblr. But over all, don’t be afraid to approach me to discuss them! I will let you know when something is making me uncomfortable, so we can change it. Controversial shipping? Plots? Just toss @ me fam! I won’t judge you based off these things!

I just ask you to do the same thing for me. If I ever end up making you feel uncomfortable, for WHATEVER reason, LET ME KNOW. without a doubt it was all a matter of genuine mistake.

I reserve the right to unfollow and block anyone, I don’t owe an explanation for doing so. Do not evade it, nor send people after me in an attempt to score an answer for you. If you find out you’ve been blocked by me, move on like any other person would.

While I have no problems with personal/non-rp blogs following and interacting with me/my posts, I need you guys to refrain from reblogging my threads/headcanons/edits/art that originates from this blog. This is because I don’t want it spreading around, and messing with my activity!

Reblog karma is in effect, if I reblog a prompt from you I will send in something back. And I expect the same from you, if you do nothing but reblog memes directly from me without sending anything back, you will be blocked. I have a tolerance when it comes to mutuals, I’ll contact you to stop with it. However, I have zero tolerance for non-mutuals.

Just don’t be a dick man, let’s all be civil around here.

I am NOT fictionkin nor self-insert friendly, I’ve had way too many bad run ins with those folks, and want nothing to do with them! Mun =/= Muse, if you can’t understand that concept then leave.

Harassment will not be tolerated in any shape or form. Anon function is turned off to prevent people from abusing it. If you have a problem with me, you should reach me out through DMs or block me. Do not under any circumstance, harass or attack people who interact with my blog just because of its content.

Non-mutuals: please refrain from sending prompts that have been specifically tagged/marked as ‘mutuals’. They have been marked in such way, for a reason. I get you may want to draw my attention to your blog, however, that’s not the way to go about it (If you do this, I’ll likely take it as an attempt to brute force your way into my boundaries. DMing me is a whole lot better.). I take a while to follow people back, you can find more info in regards to what I look into people’s blogs & take into consideration before following back in my rules doc.

I’m strongly against the idea of “if we’re mutuals, then we’re immediately friends!” (as it promotes an unhealthy sense of overfamiliarity, and it has put me in awkward situations in the past). My primary goal for RP is to write, I’m not actively seeking out to make friends. I’ll always treasure friendships made along the way, but this needs to be something that happens naturally. So please, don’t go around calling me a friend, unless we’ve known each other and have been in constant contact for quite some time. It’s nothing against anyone, that’s just how I roll.

#ooc /

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haleruby · 4 years

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Forget Me Not

Characters/Pairings: established Malia/Lydia/Reader (Quim), Malia, Lydia, Scott, Stiles, lots of snow, and I never say it but the literal yeti.

Summary: Amnesia makes the mind go brrr, but in a bad way...brr (sad). [This not being a published imagine for my followers means I can mess with the summary and other info as much as I want. XD]

Word Count: 5.9k

Notes: I am using a sideblog that is empty and not tagging bc this is only for your eyes (hopefully and technically the gif maker’s...thank you @ gifmaker for the gif), so no need to reblog/like, etc.

Hope you enjoy and it gives you a boost for dealing with your aunt. :-)

I wrote this around October 11th 2019, so apologies about the style not being quite as fluid as my other writing. My other stuff is a bit more recent, if you maybe wanna read it. Most of my teen wolf phase was around here and then it re-sparked in 2020 towards the fall so I added a tiny bit to that one story I told you about with the warnings.

Also, apologies for the ending, lol. >.>

- - - - -

She is cold... So cold. It feels like a slab of ice is being used for a bed; her back aches all the way down to the individual vertebrae that compose her spine. Pain is slowly causing her other senses to return, enlivening them in cruel way so feeling anything means to hurt to some degree. A whooshing sound makes it hard to think, it rips across her mind dashing the thoughts that slowly trickle in through the haze and the ache. What happened...? Whipping wind continues to bear down on wherever here is. There is hardness under her, so she is probably on the ground and outside based on the frigid temperature. Moving an arm to check the hypothesis causes pain to lance through her shoulder so sharply a feeling of vertigo sets in. The firm ground suddenly tilts slightly. The leverage is increased almost mockingly, it edges up bit by bit like she is about to be slid off a cold metal tray to join the next batch of suffering. A choked whimper leaves her at the odd sensation of slipping. Just before the final plummet, she snaps back into herself viciously. Jolting does nothing good for her body, but now her eyes snap open with a slight burn as if they were sealed shut previously with chilled glue...At least she thinks they are open. Blinking confirms that her eyelids still function, which is good because she is trying not to think about how her arms and legs are not, though she can still mostly feel them. Everything is white. A flurry of white is all she sees after staring long enough to detect movement in what was thought to be a static image. Snow from what may be an impending blizzard continues to beat down on the surroundings, coating them in freezing rain, smatterings of hail, and ice. Why isn't she buried yet...? How long has she been here? A large conglomerate of flurries landing on her cheek causes her to wince, because it will not melt for a time, but the question remains. The left side of her face is stinging brutally, while the rest of her exposed skin only feels like a wind chap is starting to set in. Frowning makes it seem like there is something frozen to her skin; the downward curl is not reaching the left corner of her lips as if they are stuck. Is there something on her face? Staring blankly at the sky is not helping any of this make sense. Turning her head a miniscule amount causes her to feel sick, so she stops, trying to breathe evenly although the slight shaking is making it difficult. Being still is not an option, but the jolts of pain makes her wish it was. Evergreen trees were glimpsed in her peripheral vision; they looked towering and dark, not all fit for a happy Christmas. Woods plus winter with injuries does not sound good. Why is she even here? Working up the will power to try and get up is not something she has even entertained, since moving a single appendage hurt way too much. The snow fall is becoming less like the interior of a cheap snow globe and more like sheets of rain are freezing and then coating the forest solidly. Her right arm is no longer visible. Maybe getting under a tree would provide some protective covering? Don't get up, just shuffle. She can do that. Her feet ache in a disconcerting way like they fell half asleep. Digging her heels into whatever frozen packed dirt or snow is under her takes a few minutes, but little divets were clumsily formed. Now, she just has to leverage it. Her left arm is tucked close after what happened when she moved it. Shakily drawing her legs up again allows her to try and push back slowly, more so scrambling a few inches than moving back with purpose. Sliding against snow should be easy. The rocks and sticks that litter the ground seem to dig into her when she attempts the awkward dragging motion that causes a pull of tension across her body.

It hurts. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," she mumbles hoarsely. Anger at not knowing why, where, or what lead to this prompts the pain signals to be ignored, instead she attempts to continue the mutilated crab walk back. Powdery snow sticks to the black of her pants with less finding purchase on the plastic shell of the navy jacket. A bit of red is spotted in the snow, but checking for the source of bleeding is secondary to getting away from the flurries. A trail of blood spottily forms from where she started to where she has hauled herself to. She is practically panting, which causes the cold air to stab her lungs like multiple knifes each time a ragged breath is drawn in. Her movements become out of sync, bordering on frantic. Less than a few meters of progress has been made... A foot digging in is mistimed with the curl of her back and placement of her arm, so that the stretch wracks through her painfully. A gasp muffles the cry of pain. She ends up off balance, crashing to her side heavily. Snow forces her to reflexively turn her head slightly to the side, but she still feels it burning in a way only ice can against her cheek. Throbbing stemming from her left temple encapsulates her head in a vice and is likely what makes the white dance with undulating blots of black for a while until her vision slowly clears back up. She could just rest and then try again. Maybe she should just close her eyes... Lean back and try to conserve warmth until the effort to move again seems possible. A cat nap could work? She tried and is tired; it's deserved. A sudden shrill howl barely stirs her, but a primal part of her mind urges her to become slightly more alert. That kind of sound belongs to a predator. Laying semi-buried in the snow with the inability to move may as well be an open invitation for dinner to whatever can survive the harsh conditions of the forest; it is probably a wolf or something canine. The tree line is watched between too slow blinks for whatever just made that noise. Nothing happens... She didn't imagine it. The cold has penetrated her gloves, it has penetrated her to the very center of her being, but fingers weakly search for something of use. A large rock? A stick? A phone? A conveniently placed gun? There is nothing she can use for defense, so her right arm stops extending outwards from her side to come to rest with her useless left one. Guarding her vital organs may at least help a little... Another howl sounds, but this one sounds deeper and echoes across the space; it sounds low, haunting, and mournful. There is more than one... They could play tug-a-war with her. She can barely make it to a tree for makeshift shelter, so climbing one to impede them locating her is also a 'no'. No weapon or means to deter the animal was magically found in the snow. The state she is in is yet another limitation, because she could not fend one off in perfect health either. ...What does she do? A short yip sounds like an announcement that her time to wrack her weary mind for a solution has trickled away. The source of the sound is located immediately as a small wolf with large, rounded ears makes a bee line for her. She vaguely thought it would have white fur or maybe a light gray, but a tawny brown sticks out against the snowy surroundings and looks distinctly out of place; it should be in a rich pine forest with browns and greens. Mentally critiquing the animal is not what she should be doing. Fear laced adrenaline causes her to clench her right fist tightly as she attempts to shift upwards to appear less prone—less weak. Gathering snow in her palm is so she has something to throw, even if a snow ball is a poor choice against a predator. The animal skids to a stop a little ways away, raising its head towards the sky to scent the air. Is it smelling her blood and judging that she is easy prey?

Teeth grit at the thought, because she has no idea about wolves or whatever dog thing this is. Could noise scare it away or only incite it further? How do you deter a canine? Looking it in the eye may be taken as a challenge or as a warning, but she still stares into its' eyes sharply, trying to project an intimidating aura as she narrows her own. The little quakes racking her paired with the fact she is on her back does not make her cut an imposing figure. A slow step forward is taken as the small wolf lowers its body more to the ground; it must be savoring how easy a kill this will be. Her arm draws back in warning. Will the wolf call her bluff and edge closer? "Go away," she seethes, knowing that saying something to it is a lost cause, but it is eyeing her oddly for an animal, almost thoughtfully. Lunging for her throat or springing forward to pounce should have occurred by now. Why isn't it attacking? Ears fall back, almost dropping at the tone, rather than being pressed flat against the skull in anger. Another step forward is taken and then another, until the wolf is close enough that she thinks she can hit it...The snowball is poorly compacted and falls apart, but some of it lands on its fur, which causes the wolf to shake its head at the action, giving a disgruntled chuff at the coldness. ...Did she expect that to go any better in her head? No. But it was her only real projectile. The wolf does something unexpected, it sits down like a dog and stares at her with those too human eyes. The forest in summer again comes to mind; a rich hazel that borders on brown like wood bark aside from the lightness around the iris is trained on her. She glares right back. Maybe its not a wolf, because it looks small and lean with a body that seems more agile than powerful. A long snout reminds her of a fox, and those ears that are still down are not really that wolf like either, too floppy... Maybe it's a special breed to this area or something else, not that it matters when it definitely has vicious claws, sharp teeth, and she can't get away. A decision must have been made as it creeps closer with tentative footfalls that barely displace the snow. Her arm is pinwheeled to kick up the remaining snow at her side at it in a last ditch effort for distance, but it keeps coming closer heedless of the weak icy barrage. The coolness likely does not seep through its thick fur. "Stop! Please, just go back!" She raises her voice sharply, distilling a hardness to her tone that causes the near hyperventilating quality of her breathing to abate for a moment as she tries to issue a command to a wild animal. Surprisingly, the wolf does halt its progress, but what it does next has her trying to get away as if the promise of being eaten was only a slight offense. Hazel just flashed a brilliant, glowing electric blue that seemed to pierce through her. Its an unnatural wolf thing. There may be worse things than death. Scrambling away using both hands and legs was a mistake, one that was made more than once as she groans. Her jaw locks like a steel trap as she continues, now on her stomach rather than side to crawl away. Tears feel momentarily warm against her frozen cheeks, before causing the burning to redouble from the wind. Everything hurts. She claws desperately at the snow, trying to get away, because there is no explanation for what she just saw or how odd the creature is in general. Her vision seems to be becoming the view used for wide screen movies; darkness creeps around the edges. She is struggling to make sense of things other than the need to move away, because that creature goes against the natural order.

Its too intelligent, it knows too much. Those eyes. It won't just kill her... Something grabs a fistful of her jacket, tugging backwards to prevent the flagging forward motion. It must have a mouthful of her jacket. She kicks out. Her legs feel like lead weights that she only has a minor degree of control over and no contact was made with a furry body, instead only the inevitable collision back with the hard ground occurs. The additional jolt is nothing compared to the rest of the pain that is maddening at this point, because the adrenaline rush is failing at dampening it. Her actions are catching up with her. An angry sob leaves her when she inelegantly falls face first in the snow. Her arms are shaking and she can't support herself anymore while also resisting the wolf. The grip on her jacket is suddenly replaced by a clamping sensation on her shoulder. There is no tearing or teeth burrowing. What feels like fingers squeeze her shoulder, until another hand is placed flatly on her back. What the Hell? What. The. Fuck. Being turned over slowly causes her to whimper; her eyes screw shut because nothing makes sense and she hates it all. Fighting has gotten her nowhere. Something warm settles on her cheek, and she should look to see what is going on, but she is too cold and tired to care. The whipping wind gains an additional sound, though she can't process what it is except that is softer and more pleasing to the ear. A voice? No, that isn't possible. The falling sensation comes again; this time she does not try and stay upright or grounded against it, allowing herself to go along with it. She gives up. . . . . . . "-the blizzard is only increasing; it took out the power lines. We can't go out in that." "You can't, but I can." A dull bang sounds like someone hit something wooden with their fist. "We can't!" This is half shouted in clear exasperation that may be hiding anger. "Losing anyone else isn't an option, ok? I want to know where he is too, but you can't see, smell, or even hear when it's this bad out, and we don't know what is out there that did that to her. You're not thinking it through, Scott." "He's a part of the pack." Listening to the argument unfolding any further is prevented when warm fingers graze her neck. She stops playing possum. Her eyes snap open to meet startled green ones that reminds her of emerald gemstones. A strawberry blonde girl is sitting on the burgundy upholstered couch she lays on, and may just be checking her pulse, but her right hand wraps tightly around her wrist just in case the action is not so innocent. Only a cursory glance is given to the surroundings, since she feels on edge. Where is she? A ski lodge... Thick wooden logs make up the walls, though it is hard to tell how large the space is when only candle light provides light. She does spot the underside of the A-line architectural support that is made of exposed beams. A few mounted deer heads leer at her with glassy black eyes. One wall boasts a large crackling stone fire place that has ancient crossed ski poles above it as a decoration; this is the main source of warmth and brightens the large 'U' of couches that could fit a dozen or more comfortably. This must be a lobby, not a home, based on the few informational areas and posters she saw. Was she out skiing? Returning her attention to the girl has her pausing, because she is being watched so closely, but there may be fear to that gaze too. Pale skin seems to lack much color, even though the fire is casting warmth on both of them and making the red to her hair more vibrant. Her grip is not that tight, and she was touched first, so why is she being looked at like that? Releasing the hold after moving those probing fingers away occurs; she did not mean to frighten her... "She's up! Thank God." The sudden announcement breaks the silent stare off. A guy with spiked brown hair dashes over to the couch alongside a taller guy with black hair that is somewhat obscured by a beanie. These were the two who were arguing. She simply observes them, unwilling to be the first one to speak, because she has no clue how she got here and would rather not be at a deficit by admitting that. Letting them do the informing is a smart move. "We set your arm back in place, but you may need surgery for the cuff," Stiles explains, coming to kneel beside the couch. Soft brown eyes sweep over her form that has less snow and blood caked on it; however, he is still worried about the injuries, especially when they only have a small first aid kit and makeshift sling on hand. "We bandaged what we could. Also, you will probably need a CT scan because your head has a crack in it like Humpty Dumpty. We will figure it all out, Quimmie." He seems pretty caring, so she nods stiltedly in agreement for him to continue speaking. The taller one, who must be Scott, draws closer, fiddling with a walkie talkie in his hand, before sighing. She waits for him to muster up the will to speak. "I know you're hurting, and I'm sorry, but where is Liam?" Once one question is asked it seems that it breaks the dam so a deluge of them come forward as his dark brown eyes narrow at the faint popping of static that comes from the device. There has not been a check-in in a while. "What happened to your team? Was it the ridge that you investigated or did it come after you on a trail? Were the hikers right, and it's just a crazed wolf or something else?" "You can't ask her all that at once." "Stiles, the temperature is dropping further and he is still out in it." "Yeah, and she just woke up, Scott. So back off." A hand finding her own diverts her focus from another brewing argument between the two. Fingers interlace with her own one at a time with a gentleness that confuses her after how hard everything else has been, so she doesn't immediately resist it. A pinky edges over the row of her digits until her hand is covered and then a hold is formed that she does not return. The question must be evident on her features, because a sad smile of understanding is given; it looks like the girl is trying not to crumble, which she accomplishes, but the underlying cracks are still there for all to see. What did she do to be looked at like that? "Malia is right..." Stiles practically rounds on both of them, knocking his knees against the edge of the couch at the softly spoken statement. "No, Lyds," he disagrees immediately, before locking eyes with impassive (Y/E/C) that watch him, but do not really take him in or express much emotion. He thought it was from the pain and shock, not because... "What is my name?" "Stiles," she answers correctly, because it was spoken already.

"Scott said it earlier," Lydia points it out calmly. Stiles runs a hand down his face, not wanting to test the theory that Malia suggested because of what it could mean, but he also knows he needs to. There is a reason the werecoyote is listening from behind the couch and not present with the rest. The earlier fear towards her cut her to the bone. Explaining it away as confusion or discombobulation did not convince Malia, who he tries to not glance directly at, even though he can see the glowing blue to her eyes, because this is upsetting to her. He balls his hands into fists; it can't be that. "What school do we all go to?" She says nothing, but wishes the couch cushions would absorb her into it. "What does our dad do for a living?" He asks it more sharply at the silence that seems to say more than any answer could. No, no, no. A hand is placed on the edge of the couch to keep balance as he sinks to his knees, rather than kneel; he meets her eyes squarely. "Come on, try and answer." Her brows furrow at this, because she does not look particularly like him for them to be blood related. His features are mentally compared to what she intuitively knows to be her appearance. The skepticism is not voiced. Being stared in outright disbelief by Stiles makes it clear that anything she could say about the situation would make it worse. "What is your name? Where are we from? What is the year? Who is she-" A hand gestures quickly to Lydia, though he quickly unfolds his fingers so he is not rudely pointing at her, but his palm shakes, "-to you? Malia, come over here and-" "Stiles." Lydia's voice holds a firm warning as she places a hand on his shoulder, pushing him slightly away from the couch edge before he looms closer. She scoots to be blocking his stare that practically tears into them with its desperate edge. He probably does not even realize he was raising his voice, almost shouting out each question so it warped into a demand. "Don't push her; it's not her fault." "She isn't saying anything!" Stiles counters. "It wouldn't be what you all want to hear..." That causes the pack to grow quiet for a moment as they each consider the matter of fact statement. "So, what? You were just going to go along with it?" Scott asks, confused. The realization that they have no idea what they are facing or how Liam is doing also weighs on him in addition to how this amnesia will affect the pack. Did they just lose two friends tonight? He sits down heavily on the coffee table, shooting Malia a sympathetic look to try and silently communicate she needs to dim down. "There are five of you and one of me, not great odds, so-" "We aren't going to hurt you." The vehement interjection causes her to reword the point, though green eyes practically blaze as they meet her own; any of that fear has burned away, replaced with conviction. "I don't know anything about anything," she admits softly, glancing at the red and black plaid blanket draped over her legs to cope with so many people staring at her. Her head still aches and this is tiring. "Waiting to see what you had to say was the logical thing to do. I don't know your intentions, but I wasn't going to lie to you. Thanks for helping me out of the snow..." "That was Malia," Scott supplies automatically. She has the feeling that none of the ones in the seating area is this Malia person, so a nod is given. Stiles rises from the stone floor, trying to figure out how to fix the situation. This is no broken bone that can be set or a cut that needs to be stitched up; her memories are not murky or mixed up, but are completely gone. "Can you please tell us what you do remember?" "Why?"

"So we can help you and our other friend." Scott answers honestly, before Stiles losses the bit of composure he just re-gained. He is in older, adopted brother mode and is obviously upset. "We can answer your questions too." "I didn't say I had any..." "You don't know anything, so you should. Unless being amnesiac is how you want to reinvent yourself before senior year." Stiles snipes, but backs off when his best friend gives him a warning look that does not compare to the one he will get from Lydia and Malia, if he keeps pressing it. He is mad at what happened not her...But she is not acting like his adopted sister, who has been with him for years, but someone else entirely. Fingers pull at the worn tassels of the blanket for a moment as she considers the alternatives, turning them over in her head given how tense things are and her own deficit. They did help her, so being difficult is not her goal. She can't shake that there is something not quite right about them, especially Scott, it makes her feel on guard like there is a potentially hidden deadliness. Why are they in an empty ski lodge? The owners should be present or at least the other customers. She is mostly laying down aside from a pillow that elevates her back, sitting upright would put them more on equal terms, but the pain that will come with moving is considered. "Okay, one quick question: why are you all here alone? This place does not seem to be in operation, so did you break in...?" Scott shares a look with Stiles. Telling the full truth would only work with someone acquainted with the supernatural and all of that must have been wiped away too. He runs his hands down his thighs to stall. "We got, er, permission to come up. There's an unsolved mystery that we are trying to crack. The resort is temporarily closed down, because of it and the blizzard..." He trails off, trying to balance the truth with the lies. "We are trying to help." "You do seem the helpful type," she observes dubiously, before crossing her right arm carefully with her sling encased left. The position helps her feel a bit more distant from their prying eyes; it feels like they are judging her, though that makes sense when she is expected to actually be someone, not a blank slate. She turns her attention to the fire. "I don't know a Liam. I don't know why we were on a team or what our objective was. All I remember is snow: white, cold, burning snow. I was on the ground trying to get up, but failed because everything ached. I actually felt like I was falling..." She presses her lips together, mulling over what else can be said. Those glowing, unnaturally blue eyes come to mind so vividly, it feels like she is staring at the creature again. They probably already think she is crazy enough without mentioning it. "There was a wolf, or maybe it wasn't a wolf, that kept coming towards me. I assumed it would maul me, but it didn't...I'm not sure how it was going to kill me, it seemed too patient and smart, not really like a typical animal. I freaked out and tried to crawl away when it got too close, which made all the pain a lot worse. I fainted. I'm assuming Malia scared it off or dealt with it, because I think I would remember it biting into me...Then I woke up here." Lydia wants to reach out to her, but prevents the urge with how previous attempts were received. She can tell that she is still struggling with the pain on top of everything else; however, the far off look in her eyes must mean something is not being voiced. They still have not shared her name...

"Okay, so everything before the snow is blank?" Stiles confirms, getting a curt nod in response that makes him want to throw something into the flames of the fireplace. This is not how the weekend's mission was meant to go. He is pacing in front of the hearth, chewing on the cap end of a pen as he thinks about where to go from here. She was also their only lead with Liam and the creature. How will his dad react? He's older--the older sibling, and feels responsible for her, and now she's a very familiar stranger..."You're sure that's it? So like an hour or so comprises your entire, new existence?" "Yes, Stiles." He ignores the slight irritation to her tone, because he is busy thinking. "Maybe we can jog her memory?" This is posed to the pack, like his sister is another murder case or mystery that he can add to his pin and red string laden board to puzzle out the connections and causes. He can solve this. "We should wait until my mom sees her and the doctors run legit tests. There may be rules on how to deal with head trauma patients," Scott disagrees gently. "Maybe the head trauma is not the cause...It could be something else?" "She is still healing and we don't know how bad everything is." Scott sees the way Stiles crosses his arm abruptly at the disagreement, annoyed. "I want to help her. We need to find Liam too." "The answer could lie with her if we just try and remind her who she is!" "That could make it worse." Lydia is unsure who she sides with between the two guys, but knows talking about the one in question like she is not present in the room is almost always a bad idea. Malia getting up from the wooden chair that was pulled from behind the receptionist's to rest behind the couch is mostly ignored. Supple leather comprises her winter boots that only make a faint clack against the wood floor. She moves purposefully, ignoring Lydia's questioning look as she rounds the couch and stands in front of it to peer down at its occupant. The lack of recognition causes her to feel a deep ache in her heart, while the early fear left a ragged wound behind. Taking a knee, she tilts her head slightly as she watches (Y/E/C) eyes look her over cautiously, rather than softly, because the one in front of her does not know her. "Uhm, thank you for saving me?" Malia ignores the tentative gratitude. "Malia, I-" Scott's concerned warning is stopped short when Stiles holds up a hand, silently asking for him to let whatever is about to happen unfold. He locks his jaw, knowing how affected his beta was when she arrived back at the lodge. She was practically incoherent in describing what happened, instead whimpering and growling when anyone got too close to the two and unwilling to let go of the one bundled up in her arms. She was more coyote than human... Scott slides to the very edge of the coffee table to intervene, if needed, as a precaution. She looks kind of angry...Hazel eyes are not nearly as searching as the green ones that were first on her, rather they seem to be invasively prying without hesitation. The shoulder length cut to her brown locks frames her face nicely, which makes her gaze that much harder to look away from. Being stared at like some sort of freak show is grating on her patience, so she eventually manages to glance away to look back at the fire, though her view is soon occupied by Malia shifting closer with a challenging look. A lightly tanned hand rests on the back of the couch, effectively caging her in. "If you have something to say, then please go ahead," she requests calmly. "How could you forget about me?"

"It wasn't a choice." "Then why aren't you remembering?" Malia almost snaps out the question. A scoff almost leaves her at the presumption, because this girl is really blaming her...Are they all placing the fault on her alone? Maybe the inkling that something is not right with some of them is because they are actually a threat; the lodge is becoming more inhospitable by the second. "I can't. It's not like I'm repressing it," she replies sternly. "I don't know my own name, so it's definitely not personal. Get over yourself." "Quim. That is your name" Lydia offers, trying to mediate between the two, though she knows this is hard for Malia. It is hard for her too, but someone has to be on Quim's side as a source of support. "Oh, okay..." Fingers burrow deeply into the upholstery of the couch, nails threaten to extend and rip out the plush stuffing. Her coyote aspect howls in her mind. Malia grits her teeth against the hurt those words just stirred, trying to let anger mask it because she would have never thought this would happen to them. This is not how it should be. Relying on instinct, she surges forward, placing a hand firmly over Quim's heart to pin her in place as she joins their lips without asking for permission. She is her's, so she should not have to. The kiss is forceful, demanding and not at all how a kiss should be...It is also one sided. She is doing all the action, while her partner is frozen and unresponsive, though that stasis eventually breaks for Quim to turn her head away abruptly, before a hand is against her shoulder, pushing away. Trying to move away from Malia causes a sharp pull in her back that earns a wince. Fucking oww. "What the hell are you doing?!" "I was trying to jog your memory!" Malia counters. "You can't just kiss people!" "We've done way more than kiss, Quim!" That causes the indignation to leave her in a rush, making the anger feel unwieldy and too large for her to handle. She retracts her hand from Malia, re-crossing her arms as best she can to serve as a barrier between the two of them. Now, she is more confused. "What...?" "Maybe now isn't the time for this..." Scott attempts to reason with his beta. "Mal-" "My soulmate forgot me!" "Not on purpose." Lydia pipes up, earning a huff from the werecoyote, but at least she is listening to her. She links their hands to try and pull Malia away from the couch edge. "We need to be patient." "How are you handling this well? She forgot you too--both of us!" "Not. By. Choice." "I have two girlfriends...?" Stiles runs a hand down his face at the turn in conversation; this is not going to fix her memory, but of course that is what his sister takes away from the conversation. "Yes," he answers at the perplexed expression, rolling up his shirt sleeve to show his blank wrist. "Soul identifying marks. Ring any bells? No, well, you have two of them, so you have two soulmates, even though it is rare to have even one. Lucky you." Oh... Green and hazel eyes no longer meet in a silent, tense stare off, settling back on the occupant of the couch. Quim falls silent under their attention, unsure what could be said when forgetting your literal fated other halves.

#for quim who is awesome and nice!#i could just put gibberish in these tags #i also use this side blog for my very few pics in AO3 for fics.#alsoooo bc i had a fixation on ruby hale and that is what sparked that super long OC laden work i mentioned to you...kind of OC.#really i adapted different characters from different things and put them in one verse. anyway.

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radical-rad1986 · 5 years

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ESS sign-ups

Mmm... maybe sideblogs don’t show up in tag searches?? Because my key chain post does?

So the Escaflowne Secret Santa (ESS) is a gift exchange that’s going into its fifth year. If you love Escaflowne you should join! We love new blood people. Please follow the @esca-ss blog for information and updates!

Thanks @drkstars-art for reminding me! Omg it is almost the end of October isn’t it? :/

Yes I’mma still use this sideblog for sign-ups bc it functions. Sign-ups end 11/16, partners will go out 11/20. Please post gifts by 1/11/2020. (Cannot type ‘2019′ for that ha.)

Sign-up form is here, send your info to icm.9302014 [@] gmail.com to sign up. FAQ is here, if you can’t find the answer holla at me.

Remember that I ignore time zones; if your time zone is right then you’re good!!

Anyone who loves Esca and wants to participate is welcome!!! Reblog and tag!!

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If the blog doesn’t work, here’s the FAQ/Information and the Sign-up form:

Don’t see your question here? Just contact Rad via any method (email: icm.9302014 [@] gmail.com). [Heeeey, that’s a different email…. Yeah I don’t mind that the internet can see it. Responses will come from my primary email.]

What is the ESS?

The Escaflowne Secret Santa (ESS for short) is a fan-created holiday gift exchange to promote friendship between those who enjoy Escaflowne and to create new works for the fandom.

Who runs the ESS?

radicalrad-1986, call her Rad, hosts the ESS exchange. So far we’ve got four! wonderful years under the belt!

Do you need help organizing/running the ESS or working the Tumblr site?

At this time, no. If help is needed there’s already a list going. If there arises a situation in the future where Rad needs help she’ll ask. Thank you!

Who can join/participate?

Anyone and everyone who loves Escaflowne! You don’t need to be a part of the location we hang at or our little usual group on Tumblr. If you love Esca then come have fun, meet new people, make stuff for the fandom! It does not matter how old you are* or how old a fan you are; come join! (* = Please be 18+/local age of consent to participate in the NSFW exchange.)

How does this work?

1) Sign up by filling out this form and emailing it to icm.9302014 [@] gmail.com.

2) Receive your recipient’s name. 3) Create! (Keep it a secret!) 4) Check in at the requested times. 5) Post! 6) Have fun!! – Each year there will be someone helping Rad give out a set of names - including hers! Please check in with Rad, not the secondary person. Generic questions about the ESS should be directed at Rad. If you receive Rad’s name and have a question about her gift please contact the secondary person OR if you directly ask Rad be sure you’re anonymous.

When are the sign-up dates / posting dates?

These dates will change as the years go by so they’re not set in stone. If Rad is on top of things (haha) sign-ups will begin early October and posting week is mid/late December or early January. For the posting week you have the entire week, you’re not late if you post on Wednesday or Saturday instead of Sunday! :)

What can I do as a gift for my recipient? What quality does it have to be? How much time should I spend on it?

Whatever you want! If you’re a writer, write! If you’re an artist, draw! If you like making animated images, animate away! Music videos, fan soundtracks, manips, whatever your talent is. Please make something for your recipient to enjoy; if they don’t like Dornkirk don’t draw or write something elaborate based on him. Quality and time spent are hard to quantify. No one expects you to spend years on it or break yourself over it. “Please spend more than five minutes and don’t gift a rush job,” goes without saying. Surely no one will give a rushed gift but so it’s been said. Don’t compare yourself to another gifter and feel bad; know that your gift will be loved by the recipient and the fandom for the care and time you put into it.

Can I gift something NSFW or state that I’m fine with receiving it?

Yes! There is a secondary swap for those who are alright with NSFW. If you’re not into NSFW no worries! Must I gift something NSFW if I’m in that group? No; if your inspiration does not lead down that road that’s alright. It’s a way for people who are comfortable in the area to give/receive NSFW while those who are uncomfortable don’t have to worry.

Can I do BOTH swaps if there are two swaps?

Sure! The point is to have fun, so why not double it?

How/where should I post my gift?

Wherever you want; Rad is primarily linking to things on AO3 due to Tumblr’s 12/2018 stupidity.

– NSFW entries that are SFW: Please comment in the post that they are SFW as Rad will tag them that way for the filtering/block systems.

– NSFW entries that are NSFW MUST be under a cut!

– Tagging: Please @-tag this blog, esca-ss. In the tags section please tag it “ESS(space)[year]”. For example, “ESS 2017.” For the NSFW please tag it “NSFW(space)ESS(space)[year]”. Example, “NSFW ESS 2017”. Rad uses the Tumblr Search function to make sure she doesn’t miss postings. If this blog, esca-ss, doesn’t reglog your post within 48 hours please contact either this blog or RadicalRad1986 and nudge me.

Where do I sign up?? How much information should I provide? May I ask for an extra personalized gift?

Please email your form toicm.9302014 [@] gmail.com.

You can provide as much information as you want! Don’t write a book but don’t submit a single sentence either. :) — An ‘extra personalized gift’ means you’d like something based on fic you’ve written or art you’ve drawn or if you really like someone’s headcanon and you want your gift based on that. A generic request is alright but not specific (example of specific: fic A, chapter 2, lines 12-54). You must also include at least three generic likes as well. [If its longfic you can point to a chapter or two because yeah we may not have time to read 500,000 words.] Etc; it is not limited to fic, art, or headcanon. —— Example: “So I’d really like art based on this fic (URL link) that I/someone else wrote.” Or “I’d love to see a story based on this art (URL link) that I/someone else drew.” Or “Xyz posted this headcanon and I’d love to see this explored.“ As well as “I enjoy the VH dynamic, Folken intrigues me, and what the heck was Dryden doing for his five years abroad I mean how did he build his merchant empire-ish thing?” — URLs MUST be included, not just links. Links disappear as things are copied/pasted.

Can/should I message my recipient before the posting date? Can I post a teaser of some sort?

If you want, certainly! Remember though, it’s a secret! Don’t let your recipient know who you are or exactly what you’re making! If you’re having fun that’s the goal! (Example: Message your recipient as anonymous or Submit/send Rad or the ESS a teaser and she’ll post it, that way the original creator is temporarily disconnected from the teaser.)

What if I can’t post my gift on time or I have to duck out due to real life?

This is alright and totally understandable. There is a week’s time in which you can post your gift so don’t feel rushed. No one will look down on you because life happened. You have to take care of yourself first. Being a little late is obviously undesirable but understandable. If you’re going to be late or sadly must duck out please let Rad know asap. There are back-up gifters in place for this reason.

Deadlines and time zones

I try very hard to ignore timezone s. I live in Michigan, USA, so when I say a date/deadline I’m referring to my time zone of Eastern Standard. However, I try to allow twenty-four hours to go by before no longer accepting sign-ups or calling deadlines. If it’s the stated date in your timezone, you’re on time. :)

You sure link to your personal blog a lot… Just sayin’.

While I have notifications turned on for the ESS blog, Tumblr conspires against me and I don’t get the notifications. Notifications usually DO work for my personal blog. Therefore you’re more likely to get a faster response if you contact my personal blog. (Blame Tumblr.)

The form must be emailed to icm.9302014 [@] gmail.com. This form is to indicate what you want to receive as a gift; NOT what you don’t want to gift to someone else.

1) Screenname: 2) Places on the internet with URLs**: 3) Likes: – Esca universe: – Genre/topics/etc: 4) Dislikes: – Esca universe: – Genre/topics/etc: 5) SFW, NSFW, or both? 6) Does #3 and/or #4 change in SFW vs NSFW exchange? Is something alright with you in one exchange but not alright with you in the other? 7) If needed, are you available as a back-up gifter?

**: Please copy/paste or type out the URL on the form. For example: (radicalrad-1986.tumblr.com). When Rad receives sign-ups and their information she copies and pastes them into a Word/GDrive document. Text links usually don’t/sometimes carry over and thus your locations are lost! (This is an example of a text link.)

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EXAMPLE:

1) Screenname: Rad (variations apply) 2) Places on the internet with URLs: http://www.radical-rad1986.tumblr.com https://archiveofourown.org/users/rad http://www.deviantart.com/rad1986 http://www.deviantart.com/rad-destiny-arcs http://www.fanfiction.net/~rad

3) Likes: – Esca universe: If you know me at all you know that the Series is my only focus and Eries and the Astons and Dryden are my peeps. I’d LOVE to see more Marlene/Mahad! Love the girls x their men too. ^.^ I do love the Movie and if you want to do my gift in another universe, any universe, that’s totally fine. The usual/standard is also enjoyed but it’s nice to have a larger variety. I’d love to see more of minor characters or pairings. I can be tempted with rairpares if they’re not terribly OOC. :D I would super enjoy fanart of anything I’ve written too, iffn you feel like it. Fanart of anything I’ve written would be wonderful! (My Aston girls fic is in the reworks but the gist is the same.) – Genre/topic/etc: I don’t follow really in-depth things well (like murder/mystery or politics) but pretty much anything. While clearly there won’t be any long-haul in a Christmas gift I am all for the in-depth, long journey instead of the immediate dessert. 4) Dislikes: – Esca universe: Not a fan of Dornkirk. That’s pretty much it! – Genre/topics/etc: Whump, infidelity, gore/extreme violence, unnecessary/extreme ragging on a character/topic. 5) SFW, NSFW, or both? SFW 6) Does #4 and/or #5 change in SFW vs NSFW exchange? Is something alright with you in one exchange but not alright with you in the other? I’m not a fan of Dornkirk but in a NSFW gift his thought process could be explored and while I dislike detailed violence, test subjects could be shown with minor details. 7) If needed, are you available as a back-up gifter? Yup!

#Escaflowne #The Vision of Escaflowne #Tenkuu no Escaflowne #Tumblr I hate you

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reignmyworld · 6 years

Text

Update regarding Roman‘s private pic

First of all, I want to thank each and every one of you that had reblogged the original FYI regarding the Roman private pic post. It really amazes me how many people have helped to spread the word, so thank you so much.

The original post had been taken down by now, also thank you for that. Unfortunately, however, deleting the original post, doesn’t erase reblogs, likes or replies as well. I know that all of the damage had already been done and even if the pic vanished from here, it is/might still be circulating on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, possibly forums, but it nevertheless is something, a way of at least trying to keep the circles, that it is drawing as little as possible.

So please, if you happened to post it on your main blogs and deleted it there, make sure to delete it on your possible sideblogs as well, should you have one and should it have been posted there as well.

As mentioned in my first post, I’m pretty sure that Roman would appreciate everyone’s help on this matter, even if he probably doesn’t know about the efforts his fans on Tumblr are making.

Having said that I want to mention that I’m amazed by those in the Roman Empire, that really take into consideration that Roman is not content with his pic being leaked and therefore help in trying to take it down. You are simply awesome. :-)

I had went through some comments/ tags not only here but on Twitter/ Instagram as well and therefore I would like to address some behaviors as I‘m amazed and shocked at the same time. Please let me explain that:

You obviously have people, that shared the pic without wanting to cause any harm. People, that were unsure whether it was a fake or not as it seemed completely out of character, that a pic like that even exists. People, that already had a bad gut feeling but nevertheless hit the reblog button. And I can understand that. You see a picture of your fave, something that’s uncommon and besides your better judgement, you push that bad feeling aside as you wanted to share that pic with your friends/ fellow fans. Was it a good decision? No. But we‘re all human and we make mistakes contrary to our better judgment. What matters is that we realize those mistakes and make them right. So whoever found himself in that position, thank you so much for acting out of respect.

But then you also have other „fans“ and personally I don’t know which group is worse.

There are the ones reblogging the pic with comments like „I know it’s wrong. It doesn’t seem like him, but it’s a hot pic that I want on my profile“ and you have those, that are entitled enough to be of the opinion that they have a right to see pictures like that, that have a right to see more of them, that learn that it had been leaked but that keep it up/ spread it because „he ows us a pic like that“.

Personally, I’m of the opinion that if you are a fan of him (or any other person for that matter, that had their pic stolen and posted) you don’t act according to your standard of „its a special picture, I need it on my blog“ but you respect the person, that obviously doesn’t want to share it with the public and therefore take it down.

I have also read arguments and statements, both good and bad as to „what’s the huge deal?“ as he is only showing his abs, it’s not a nude pic and he had been shirtless in his earlier wrestling days as well. Apparently it might not be a huge deal for some of us but it is for him, otherwise he wouldn’t have liked those tweets, pointing out the invasion of his privacy and asking people to take the pic down.

And quite frankly it doesn’t matter what his reasons for that are:

Whether it’s strictly the fact that his privacy had been invaded? - it doesn’t matter

Whether he might be insecure with regard to his stomach area for it might have changed due to his hernia surgery or having gained since his early Shield days? - it doesn’t matter

Whether he just doesn’t want people to know he had taken a picture like that? - it doesn’t matter

What matters is, that he is not content with a picture like that being made public and we fans have to respect that. A picture, that was intended to be private and should have stayed private, no matter how harmless it might seem to be to some of us.

With that picture being leaked, it was pretty obvious what kind of „damage“ it can cause. All of the rumors and hatred comments are disgusting.

I have read „ewww his stomach looks fat“ on instagram. He probably won’t see that, no, but should his reason for not wanting to have it posted to the public be that he’s insecure with regard to his stomach area, bodyshaming certainly doesn’t help in any way.

I have read rumors of him cheating on his wife as „that picture was surely sent to his side chick“. Even if it would have been the case, even if he was cheating, it wouldn’t have been anyone’s business but Roman’s and Galina‘s as it does not concern us one bit or takes away from the fact that he’s a great guy in the ring and obviously a humble human being outside the ring.

So yes, for some of us it might not be a huge deal since you only see abs and you have seen that before when he was still wrestling in his former ring gear, but given what circles this is drawing, what nasty comments it is causing, what rumors it is rising, it might be a huge deal for him.

Fans often seem to forget their boundaries, seem often to forget that every public person is willing to share a fragment of who they really are and especially Roman seems to be a really private guy. We know the character, we might have our thoughts as to how the man behind it might be, but that’s it. And neither of us - neither fans nor haters - have a right to overstep those boundaries, and yes that includes nasty comments concerning his family, touching/kissing him during a selfie/ video just because you had the chance to do so as it had been happening before and it also includes posting and spreading private pics.

So once again a huge thank you to everyone, that hade made sure to spread the word and if you still see it circulating (maybe because the persons you had reblogged it from still have it up) please reach out to them, asking them to delete it and hopefully they will, if they truly consider themselves his fans. Even if it will still stay on the internet, it simply is a matter of doing the right thing.

Should you have read this post until the end, I really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart as this was something I just needed to get off my chest.

#roman reigns #signal boost #private pic #thank you for all of your help #you are amazing

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crwatters · 3 years

Text

I posted 3,431 times in 2021

56 posts created (2%)

3375 posts reblogged (98%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 60.3 posts.

I added 462 tags in 2021

#good vibes - 100 posts

#lol - 58 posts

#find: ar - 56 posts

#omg - 51 posts

#cute - 40 posts

#find - 36 posts

#my ramblings - 35 posts

#lmao - 32 posts

#im dying - 32 posts

#kitty - 22 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#did training for my new job tonight (nothif fancy just a pizza delivery person) and i got more and more agitated at the corporate propaganda

My Top Posts in 2021

lockdown browser and its ilk is literally the most orwellian bullshit I’ve ever seen

14 notes • Posted 2021-01-12 16:51:38 GMT

Alright hp fandom, I've had a question that's been bugging me for a while and I want your help answering it: is it stated in canon somewhere that Blaise Zabini's mom has had 7 husband's die of mysterious circumstances? Or is that just really, really widespread fanon?

Because I cannot think of a single fic off the top of my head with Blaise in it (in a semi-significant way) that doesn't mention this. So either it's some canon thing I missed, it's some obscure factoid that everyone loves, OR it's a really, REALLY specific piece of fanon that everyone partakes in. Because it's almost always 7 (I think I saw some fic say 6), always Blaise's (who's a pretty insignificant side character in the OG series) mom, and it's almost always implied that that's where their wealth comes from.

So please, where does this come from? Because I love it but can't for the life of me come up with a definitive answer

14 notes • Posted 2021-02-21 04:49:15 GMT

Fair warning:

While I'm going to try to keep things regulated to my depression sideblog, some of my sad thoughts will undoubtedly leak here, but it shouldn't be anything too bad.

This will probably last at least a few months, although it's hard to say. So if you have to unfollow me or something I 110% understand-- you gotta do what's best for you and your mental health.

27 notes • Posted 2021-06-30 22:56:45 GMT

Rewatching Good Omens, and can we talk about how when Newton gets pulled over by aliens he immediately calls Shadwell and all Shadwell had to say is "you're a witch finder, not an alien finder"??? Like isn't that the best most ridiculous response??

35 notes • Posted 2021-03-05 04:40:26 GMT

I wish we could have an extended version of the iceberg of tumblr lore (I'd do it, but I have no idea how to sort the following), including but not limited to:

The johnlock conspiracy

I said young man, take the bread sticks and run /I said young man, hand hook man car gun (or whatever order that went in...)

Bullet point fics

Broken notes

Vertical replies

The mobile vs desktop feud

Left beef

"potterheads draw your wands"

Finding out who an anon was by blocking them

Godspouses

The humans are spaces orcs subgenre tumblr invented

That girl who has at least two child skulls that were probably definitely illegally acquired

On a similar note the debates on the ethics of human leather

Knock off "do you love the color of the sky" posts

Countries fighting over what lemonade is (and that really long post where britain and america were more or less personified and there was something about dumping britain's tea in the water to make iced tea, I think)

That shooting star post

Superstitious posts in general (including money cat, that madam who might curse your family, etc)

"this could save a life"

Internet Explorer memes

That time we found out tumblr was staffed by only like 2000 people and felt collective shame

Obama cosplay

"I like your shoelaces"

The war against porn bots

Infinite chocolate

Ik there's more that aren't coming to mind rn, and I know some of these are definitely surface tier bc they're more popular/recent, but I think they should at least get an honorable mention

66 notes • Posted 2021-02-07 08:14:26 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

Who spoke this into existence. I just wanna talk

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #tumblr year in review #What is this cursed info #Don't know what to do with this tbh #That's a lot fewer tags than I expected tbh #long post

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kaosketches · 6 years

Text

This post is going to be lost in the sea of the reblogs from my main blog anyway, but it’s a bit of a vent post more than anything.

I am feeling conflicted at the time I’m writing this.

“Why am just using this sideblog right now and not when I supposed to, back when I created it 5 years ago”

Well... 5 years ago, I was in another place of my life. and the last two years of college were... quite a piece of work for me :/. I thought I would have time to develop some ideas around, some concepts I had... and while I did stuff, college was draining my creativity around (OH, and I did stuff... but writing was, I guess, more therapeutic than drawing). I don’t know. I barely remember lots of things I was doing in 2013.

And I always said to myself “I will come back to this eventually”. If anything is to go by, when I was checking my art tag, I realized that there was a HUGE time space between 2013 and 2015 when I started to do things again (and I dumped lots of things in March 2015). Sure, this was also because I was out of college, I mean, sure.

And it’s been 3 years since.

What was the point of updating this blog if I didn’t have stuff I considered to be good back then... and why I waited too LONG to do this. WELL...

I’m very bad at procrastinating. And lots of stuff have been on my head since 2015 (tons of personal stuff that I have detailed before in many of my rant/vent posts in my main blog... I don’t want to drag them here). the “One day I will eventually do this” was a bit of an afterthought.

And then... a few months ago I thought of something that was “this is it!”.

I don’t know if my OCs saved me... but it seems like it is.

The whole thing about Ellie and Riley... and my sudden thoughts of “this might work as a big project for me” kinda... remotivated me? to look back to my art content from the past 3 years and say “wait, why I’m holding these just in my main Tumblr blog?” I have been posting things also in Twitter (not as frequent as I want to, but I will go later on this), and then it came back to me “why I haven’t crossposting stuff in DA, too? why I haven’t been doing that in this side blog as well?”

Like, I know DeviantArt is a hellhole of its own that has its fair (very fair) side of infamy... but at the same time, I could have a different audience that I barely have here in Tumblr (okay, I admit it’s also hard... -and I do fanart of fandoms that are incredibly niche and mostly dead by now- and things there are also not quite as easy... their tagging system also sucks, tbh... as long as I mention a searchable term in the submission’s description as LEAST I can bypass that). I just... have (doing atm) to revamp my account a bit. Because my art gets drowned in a tons of others’ art posts in Tumblr (or after a time, I cannot bump them again w/o audience’s interest... again, did I mention that most of my fandoms are pretty much dead by now?)

And so, I also thought of this sideblog. I went to change its URL just in case (because brand recognition, I guess?) and use the previous one for another (still sorta related to this blog and my main, but I need to put order in stuff first). But, yes.

The plan is, after being up to date in both here and my DA account, is start crossposting stuff EVERYWHERE at the same time. Higher chances are that I will start posting my art here first (unless fandom appreciation weeks happen? that’s where I’d use my main one), then in Twitter, and finally in DA.

My It All Started with an Ice Cream Float project will have a blog of its own (not sure if sideblog... or revamping a different account that I barely use since 2012) when I finally march on that later this year. Maybe. I’m not sure, yet.

...I’m basically kicking myself because “why I never did this before” :)

The prospect of doing this in fb would be a chaos of its own, so I decided that on that part (because local recognition also needs to be built), the only thing possible I should DO that (if fb doesn’t go down either, lmao) is just a fan page for my project, and MAYBE posting my newer art pieces - both fanart and original. I am not going to crosspost my 2014-2018 stuff there again. I thought it may be easier reblogging these pieces, but what a huge mistake was that on my part, lmao.

#kao's nonsenses #I think i needed to do a huge clarification about this both WELL #that's why the huge space between 2013 and 2018 exists on the archive

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blueheartedmayor · 4 years

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I have big big troubles finding new rp partners which causes me to be nearly inactive because I don't have anyone to roleplay with. Searching through tumblr is impossible for active blogs. And if I find someone, they're mutuals only, and I don't know how to interact with those. And many I find also don't want new partners. It always feels like its my fault for not finding new partners

OOC: Sorry about the sorta late reply. I’ve been making icons since yesterday.

I agree. Searching any of the tags is absolutely pointless. I can only speak for this fandom but... Boy are things quieter than they used to be. It’s gotten to the point where some people (myself included) actually stop sharing their own promos because there’s barely anyone to find from that (If anything, I think my last reblog of my promo got more attention from non-roleplaying blogs). On top of that, activity on blogs that are around vary immensely. Because there are fewer options than there were when I started, it’s easy to feel like you’re doing something wrong. I assure you, it’s not the case at all.

You are right about a lot of blogs being more closed off than they used to be, and I do get the reasoning for that. But like you said, it makes it hard for people trying to find their place. I can’t give you guaranteed advice that will bring about success, but I can try and share some ideas.

I know I’ve mentioned before about checking rules pages. Some people might have it that they’re mutuals only by default, but their asks are open for anyone. If that’s the case, I definitely recommend giving it a try. While it can work as an ice-breaker, it’s also a good way to show the blog you exist, especially if, like me, you run side-blogs.

With that in mind, check your own blog and make sure things are accessible and readable. If someone I don’t recognise follows a blog of mine, I’ll usually click through and check theirs out. Now, before you start stressing, I absolutely don’t mean to go build a custom theme with unique photoshopped whatevers. You’re talking to the mun who literally uses the same theme on three different sideblogs but in different colours. Going by personal experience of checking blogs on app and on a laptop, you should instead focus on the following:

Content: Is your information accessible? Do you have a page or post giving information about your muse, and if so, can they be found easily? Common sense things, really, but I’ve seen blogs over the years that either omit this entirely, or make it very difficult to find.

Sample of writing: Not in terms of how active you are. A few months ago, I was checking out a blog on my phone. I had to scroll for nearly ten minutes on a blog before I could find an actual writing sample from a thread. It’s perfectly okay to have memes and related images on your blog (again, I do it regularly), but be sure they’re not hiding your writing. Use the queue to play it safe.

Silly things, I know, but if you make the first move to follow a mutuals only blog, you wanna give yourself the best chance so they will follow back. I wanna compare it to an artist in a convention’s artist alley setting up their stall. You have to have everything looking just right to draw people in, right?

On the topic of writing, I noticed you mention how you’re not active because of this problem. Perhaps you could channel your creative frustration into short drabbles or monologues? It would be a good way to vent and to make sure you don’t get too rusty.

Another option is to consider crossovers with other fandoms. For example, I have a side-step verse where Damien is Mayor of Ha.llowe’en Town from the Nig.htmare Before Chris.tmas due to a mix-up. It’s also a fun challenge to see how your character might adapt to a different world, whether due to being thrown there, or having lived there instead of their normal world.

Admittedly, the fandom as a whole needs a little kick and some positive encouragement to open up a little more. Myself and some others had hoped Heist would bring some new people in, but it didn’t really work in the way we had expected. It’s a problem I’m not entirely sure how to fix, and I’m sure it’s not even something I myself can ‘fix’ since I’m not any sort of important voice. But I will say this. If you currently do have partners, appreciate and cherish them. They are the ones that will stick by you no matter what.

I am sorry you’ve been hit with that awful feeling, despite trying your hardest. That’s the part you should make sure to remind yourself of: you are trying. It would be a different case if you were waiting for everyone to find you while you make no effort. Things might seem bleak, but time can do some good things. When I started, there were some blogs I was terrified of interacting with. Like you, I had no idea how I was supposed to approach and interact (especially with me harbouring a fear of being blocked if I made a wrong move). It took time, but the right little connections happened, circles meshed together so I appeared on their dash, and I was eventually noticed by them. That’s why I suggested to make sure you have the necessary information accessible. Any decent person won’t mind whether you have a fancy theme, use icons of any sort, or format your writing. At the end of the day, we’re writing together, and that ought to be what matters when looking at your blog.

...

I realise this is probably me blathering on about nothing, but I hope something in this helped. Like I said, I’m not really a big voice or a popular blog, so I don’t really have solid advice. Keep your chin up and take it one day at a time. I believe in you!!

PS. Just as I was proof-reading this, I remembered that some of the people I got to know over time were through Di.scord groups. While a server can be a great way to break the ice.... I’m not sure I’d recommend setting one up in the hopes of inviting people in. The one that springs to mind first descended into drama that I’m still not sure of and was ultimately deleted when I was asleep. Now I think about it, most of those people either hopped fandoms or went on hiatus... I hope they’re doing okay.

PPS. Another idea. Would checking out people your partners write with be an idea? I always imagine a rp blog to be like a circle, and by interacting with others, you can link to their circle and see their connections. That way, the third person might have experience of you from seeing you on their dash!

#why Ash doesn't run a r.ph blog #and why Ash shouldn't be a rolemodel as a whole #I also recommend not doing what I do and make sure not to lose track of people #there are people I wrote with that I still love to see on my dash but I've lost track of stuff we wrote and I never get around to actually #Anonymous

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