#i have also lowkey done this for scenes in de i didn’t get and have convinced myself to love them now

[langfield]

my secret to making peace with things i don’t like is seeing it as a challenge to figure out the character’s headspace and reasonings for WHY they’d do something. going ‘this is ooc’ is boring. dull. been done a thousand times. asking ‘now wtf would the situation had been for things to get here’ is fun and inventive!! i will reread canon through the lense of a Decision I Do Not Understand and will find and make up scenes as to why that is. more fans should do this i think

[miraculouscontent]

All the thoughts:

First off, the plan.

I don’t get Shadow Moth’s plan or Optigami in general. Like, it was already weird that we had the phone that picked up on a kwami’s voice (I’ll hold my tongue on that one until we have all the episodes that take place before this, though my hopes aren’t high), but both Optigami and the phone happening in the same episode when it’s been resaid in this season that kwami can’t be seen/heard by technology is just silly. I get that Optigami is a sentimonster so it’s “magic technology,” but I dunno, something feels weird about it.

The reason I bring it up is because what’s shown contradicts what happens later in the episode. The footage shown by Optigami shows Carapace de-transforming and Wayzz popping out of the miraculous right afterwards, but when Senti!Carapace and Rena Rouge detransform at the end of the episode, the kwami don’t pop out. The former is also consistent with most detransformations; the kwami usually pops out (for the easiest reference, the beginning of “Miraculer” does this with both Alya and Nino, and Alya detransforming in “Gang of Secrets” also does this).

I presume this was done to force Ladybug to use her Lucky Charm in order to figure out that Senti!Nino was Shadow Moth’s sentimonster, because otherwise I just imagine Wayzz popping out to complain that there’s something in his miraculous and how it isn’t even paying rent.

Gabriel also non-subtly invites “everyone” to the event, yet “everyone” apparently only means conveniently the people who Shadow Moth knows as heroes, plus Marinette for no explained reason whatsoever. Chat Noir could’ve even noted after the fact that everyone invited were past heroes (because he knows Multimouse and probably wouldn’t think “wait, that doesn’t make sense--”), or the characters themselves could’ve noticed it, but that would’ve meant the show pointing out the blatant plothole that Marinette is lobbed in there. This could’ve also been a chance for the characters to all establish, “hey, we were heroes!” and have a cool camaraderie between them (presuming they know that they were outed), but instead they serve no purpose beyond being essentially background characters for Style Queen to tick off like a checklist. They had the perfect moment to do something to give everyone more character and they wasted it to do an unneeded scene of Alya trying to shove Marinette towards Adrien (I’ll get there).

It also puzzles me that Gabriel’s plan was to cause an akuma that would force Ladybug to bring another miraculous when...

Style Queen didn’t cause her to do that?? Now, if one isn’t really thinking (like it seems the writers didn’t) and/or only vaguely remembers the episode (i.e: that Chloe got a miraculous and Queen Bee/Wasp is the immediate follow-up), then they’ll recall that Ladybug did indeed go to Master Fu’s to get a miraculous, but only did she not need it in the end, the reason the Lucky Charm sent her there in the first place was to get Plagg, i.e: the cat.

And yes, Shadow Moth does have Style Queen glitter the building so that no one can get in, which ends up blocking Chat Noir off, but that only works if he knows that Ladybug is in the building but not Chat.

Speaking of Ladybug, and this one is more of a nitpick, but she delays using Miraculous Ladybug and I feel like it could’ve been done better, like if she went to use it but stopped herself because something didn’t feel right, but instead she points out the weirdness of not using her Lucky Charm while not thinking further on it until she sees the handshake. Regardless of the comments she makes towards the Lucky Charm, the episode leaves a weird feeling of, “Why haven’t you used Miraculous Ladybug yet? The akuma is gone.” Marinette even saw the sentimonster, which clearly isn’t Style Queen, yet the episode forgets about it because--oh wait, it was just there to build up to an attempted identity reveal that went nowhere.

So, yeah--the elevator...

Say it with me: it’s stupid, it’s pointless, it makes no sense, it serves no meaning to the plot, its only roles in the episode is for love square fuel and to embarrass Marinette.

And on that last note, I know I said I’d keep quiet on the phone, but I swear, if it’s not explained in any form why the kwami can communicate with her, then it was literally just invented so that it could startle/embarrass her.

Also, to the surprise of no one, the kwami who live with her still don’t understand how to deal with her. :|

Not only does the scene draaaaag and the chances of Adrien and Marinette not only thinking of the same hiding place (an elevator, something that both makes no sense because Style Queen can easily pop up if she hears the elevator, but also that they rarely ever choose as a transforming spot; in fact, I can’t think of a time they’ve chosen an elevator??), but also happening to pick the same elevator.

As for it making no sense, the identity reveal was completely unnecessary. Either of them telling the other their identity would’ve done nothing, and even if they planned to tell the other to block the eyes watching them so they could transform, it wouldn’t matter, because that just makes it obvious what they’re doing. Plus, if the concern was needing to tell the other so they could get out of the elevator somehow, then there would’ve been no reason not to tell them after the eyes were gone. Marinette could’ve texted Alya at any time when they were being quiet.

And as if the setup wasn’t already contrived enough, Nathalie takes far too long to leave Adrien and Marinette alone. Optigami goes into the elevator on Nathalie’s orders (which is the whole thing that makes the two go quiet and consider doing a reveal in the first place), and it takes fourty seconds before Nathalie finally notes that it’s just Adrien and Marinette. Like, unless she got up to make a sandwich before she analyzed the footage, I just--???

Anyway, the last thing to really talk about is Alya and oh my gosh, the sheer amount of double standards here...

Like, just starting with the scene where Alya physically shoves Marinette towards the elevator, despite Marinette’s protests, it just makes me shake my head all the more, especially after “Mr. Pigeon 72.” I already knew the show wasn’t going to follow up on the whole “when you’re ready” stuff in “Gang of Secrets,” and “Mr. Pigeon 72″ just forwarded that with Alya immediately pressing for Adrien, but I didn’t expect Alya to try and force things this hard.

Just gonna add as well that both Luka and Kagami saw Alya do this, which would’ve been a great opportunity for it to trigger alarm bells for both of them (Luka going, “oh, it’s no wonder Marinette struggles with Adrien when--” and Kagami like, “hey this is familiar, almost like Marinette thought it was okay because it happens to her all the time and maybe I should step in to say something”; by the way, for those who want another fix-it, yeah, that’d what it’d be), because Marinette was literally totally fine until Alya tried to force the matter.

But again, blatant show of “fine if it’s for the love square, not fine if it’s not.”

And after “Mr. Pigeon 72″ and now this, do the writers really think that I wasn’t going to notice the fact that Marinette is only getting the “damsel in distress” role now that the kwami and Alya are conveniently there to save her? It’s like they knew the backlash that would happen from Marinette telling Alya her identity (the rightfully deserved backlash, not even because of the identity thing - I understand narratively that Marinette was at her breaking point, though the timing is awful - but because Alya was like--one of the worst choices), so they decided to justify it by having Marinette be put into peril multiple times this season to the degree where Alya would have to swoop in and save her. Essentially, they’re nerfing their protagonist and forcing her into these situations to lift Alya up and make Alya look like a better/more intelligent friend.

Marinette didn’t need a confidant because she was constantly one step away from danger, she needed one emotionally, yet now the show has been continuously letting Alya figure out important guardian matters and saving Marinette’s backside because apparently, “Marinette is more emotionally stable now that she has someone who knows her secret,” wasn’t enough. Handing Alya the win on Lila and either ignoring or excusing all of her past actions to make her look good wasn’t enough.

Trying to make everything about Adrien instead of Marinette wasn’t enough. Now they’re throwing in Alya and giving her stuff to do while Marinette sits idly and just waits to be saved. Yes, Marinette ultimately does the most in the end and Alya screws up, but what happens?

Alya gets rewarded for it. She gets to have the fox miraculous given to her permanently, which the narrative lowkey chided Marinette for not doing (with Trixx’s snippy comments and Alya pulling a “Gang of Secrets” where she’s suddenly 100% “on Marinette’s side” so that it makes it feel like she deserves whatever she’s going to be given). The show is both setting Marinette up to fail so they can continue having their drama (regardless of how well permanent Rena Rouge goes, they wanted to leave the episode on a cliffhanger) and getting on her case for breathing while rewarding other characters after they’ve failed.

Which, spoiler alert for the next episode, ends up working out, thus making it the “”“right”““ decision. Apparently Marinette is meant to suffer and be given all these consequences/embarrassment when she screws up, but people like Adrien Alya get rewarded and given a free pass to do whatever they want with no consequences (Marinette doesn’t even remotely get on Alya’s case or be upset that Alya made decisions without her; even Fu gave Marinette, Tikki, and Plagg a look in “Sandboy” and made them explain/apologize; but of course, that’s because Marinette was involved, I guess).

And... look, it’d be one thing for Marinette to want an understudy, or to want someone to have a permanent miraculous as a form of protection in case she needs it, but Alya wasn’t even suspicious when Senti!Nino didn’t give her their usual high-five. Alya claims to be this great reporter and tries to imply in “Gang of Secrets” that she suddenly knows all things about Marinette, yet doesn’t change her expression at all when the person she thinks is her boyfriend gives her a regular high-five instead of the one they made up? I guess the show wanted to give Ladybug something more after Alya and Kaalki did a chunk of the work, but if they wanted to present Alya as a worthy guardian, then that should’ve set off red flags, especially after the whole Ladybug reveal and Alya realizing that Lila’s full of it (which I know still hasn’t been shown but if she’s gonna be Ladybug’s confidant then she has to step up her suspicion game).

Like, I don’t know if they’re just trying to have Alya work off any bad things that the fandom might have on her, but with this episode and the next episode, it just feels like they want Alya to stay in the role that she had with Marinette: the “Alya knows best, is presented as a supportive friend, and has a leg up on Marinette in terms of mental/power dynamic.”

Because, despite knowing that she’s Ladybug now, Alya’s relationship with Marinette really hasn’t changed. She’s still forcing Marinette into situations with Adrien, she’s still got the doubtful eyebrow raise whenever Marinette does “Marinette things,” and Alya still has the, “I got you, girl!” attitude about everything, even if she really doesn’t have Marinette’s back in the right way. Heck, even the kwami (or at least Trixx) seems to go to Alya over Marinette, the kwami themselves just whining and behaving like children around Marinette herself.

At this point, why not just hand Alya the ladybug earrings and call it a day? If Alya’s not only an understudy for being guardian but is also apparently going to keep saving Marinette, she’s clearly “better,” and that moment with Senti!Nino ended up getting her rewarded, why not just let Marinette hand over the metaphorical mantle and be officially stress-free? Then Paris would have a “““non-clumsy, less emotional, less anxious”““ Ladybug.

Well, because that would mean lessening Marinette’s suffering and the show would be over without that. *sigh*

I don’t know, it’s just upsetting. It’s the "Malediktator”/”Gang of Secrets” thing where Marinette tries to follow something she’s been taught by other characters (who are presented as wiser than her) and it ends up blowing up in her face. “No permanent miraculouses” wasn’t her rule - it was Fu’s - and then the show immediately chides her for it.

Basically, Marinette tries to make her own decisions and it blows up in her face. Marinette tries to follow her own rules and it blows up in her face. It’s the love square all over again: she can’t confess to Adrien, but she can’t move on either.

That’s why “Optigami” is so insulting. It puts its double standards on display for the world to see and sets things up to go exactly the way it wants with no regard to making sense or working to an interesting story.

[tl-notes]

Kobayashi’s Maid Dragon S2 Episode 11 Notes

This is ラジオ体操 radio taisou, lit. radio exercise(s). Basically it’s a short series of light stretches intended for general health. It used to be broadcast over the radio (and I guess still is), but is also on TV and internet these days too.

It’s generally popular as a morning thing to kind of get the blood flowing—some companies (apparently around 1/3rd) even have a few minutes in the morning set aside to have everyone do it. Some neighborhoods will hold outdoor public gatherings during summer break, as a morning routine thing for children while school is out. It’s also a kinda stereotypical old-person thing to do.

There are two “sets,” known as radio taisou dai ichi, and radio taisou dai ni (basically “the first” and “the second”), and each has a standing version and sit-down version for improved accessibility.

“Pound (shoulders)” here is 肩たたき kata-tataki, a type of shoulder massage that involves lightly bopping the recipient’s shoulders with the bottom of your fists. It’s a stereotypical thing for kids to do for parents/grandparents (remember the shoulder massage tickets Kanna gave Kobayashi for Father’s Day in ep 8? same thing).

I honestly have no idea how effective it is.

小林さんは安く済ませようとして、色々物を買ってしまうタイプなんでしょうか？

For clarity here, the idea is less that Kobayashi tries to buy lots of stuff for cheap, but that she wants to solve whatever problem on the cheap, and ends up wasting a bunch of money on several cheapo purchases that don’t really help.

Another angle on it might be like:

“Could she be the type who tries fixing a problem cheaply, but ends up paying more for less?”

Just a bit of trivia, but in the manga Elma answers this question about computer chairs by saying “Yes, a good one costs as much as 1,000 cream buns.” 

That’s our Elma.

Takiya’s word for “logic” here is 理屈 rikutsu. Rikutsu does mean “logic,” but it has another use too: referring to something that relies excessively on “theory” vs. practical application/real experience, or a kind of “forced” logic. 

Basically here he’s saying this out of modesty, not like “the solution was only logical.” 

This “concerning” is 危うい ayaui, an adjective describing something that’s in a perilous situation, kind of like something you’d say “balanced on a razor’s edge” of. It’s typically for less immediately physical types of danger (which would use 危ない abunai instead).

In this case, while it’s true such situations are typically “concerning,” he’s not saying this because he’s concerned per se; he’s saying that situations like Tohru’s, where emotions run high (e.g. romantic relationships), are often fragile because of that strength of emotion.

For “a little hard,” Tohru says グサッと gusa-tto. (“Sharp” was 鋭い surudoi, which is basically one-for-one.)

Gusa-tto is one of those sound effect words mentioned in previous notes, used to describe a heavy stab or pierce (literally or figuratively). (If you’ve seen that anime/manga visual gag where someone says something and the words/speech bubble “stab” the other person, that’s a more light-hearted use of this.)

I mostly bring it up here because the “he’s sharp”→”what he said cut deep” was a good pairing of evocative phrasing that we didn’t really get in the English.

この程度でいいですか？　kono teido de ii desu ka? この程度でいいよ。　　　kono teido de ii yo.

Kobayashi’s answer here is repetition of the question, but changing the “question” marker for a declarative one. Like “Is this enough?” “This is enough.”

I bring it up here for two reasons. One is just because I mentioned the whole repetition thing in a previous episode’s notes, so as an example to help drive that home.

The other is that I have a bit of an issue with the choice of the word “perfect.” Kobayashi is generally a lowkey person (with some exceptions), prone more to understatement than overstatement, so a relatively strong word like perfect is a little out of character for this scene, I would say—especially given the Japanese.

The use of the particle で de in these two lines is also worth noting. In this context (where you’re talking about whether something is what you want), de ii and ga ii have two distinct meanings. With de, it’s “good enough.” With ga, it’s not just enough, it’s actively what you want. If you’ve seen romance shows where one person has low self-esteem, you’ve likely heard a question like “boku de ii?” answered with ”kimi ga ii.”

If there’d been some sort of twist to the phrasing like that, “perfect” might have been a good choice, but as it is I’d have probably stuck with something like “Yeah, this is plenty.” (if maintaining that sentence structure anyway)

そういうもんですか？ そういうもんだよ。 分かりました。そうします。

Just one quick note for clarity on this exchange; the “that/this” they’re talking about is the “what Kobayashi wants” topic, not specifically this tail-chair thing or how fast the tail-vibrations are etc. You likely got that anyway, but I figured I’d mention just in case, since the Japanese wording felt more obvious about it.

Notably here Daddy Tohru says 知り合い shiriai, which is very explicitly a level or two removed from “friend.” (it’s often translated as “acquaintance”)

They might actually be friends and he just phrases it that way because tsundere, but either way I don’t know if I’d use “friends” here.

If you’ll recall from the Elma episode, “clairvoyance” there was 千里眼 senrigan. This is actually not that, but instead 未来視 mirai-shi, which is more or less literally “future sight.” It probably won’t really come up again(?), but just as a world-building thing I guess, know that this guy and Elma don’t actually have exactly the same power (at least in this instance).

The word for “lost control” here is 暴走した bousou shita, which does basically mean that.

I would, however, like to point out that he’s not necessarily saying Tohru lost control of herself. Bousou means that [whatever] is running wild, but that ranges from a runaway train, to someone going berserk, to someone acting rashly without consulting others.

My point in bringing it up is that “lost control” sounds like Tohru had little/no agency in the decision to storm the enemy’s home ground, which is not really the case and not necessarily implied in the Japanese.

When Kobayashi responds here, she says she, Kobayashi, will be the one getting looked after by Tohru, not the other way around. She flips it 180 degrees from how Dad here says it.

(Since, y’know, Tohru’s the maid and everything.)

Example alt text:

“Make sure you take good care of Tohru until your lifespan runs out.”

“Yessir, I’ll have her take good care of me.”

It’s supposed to give this very heavy and serious scene a bit of levity to end on.

(For the Japanese students: she says [面倒を]見てもらいます, meaning that Kobayashi is having Tohru do the “looking [after].” If she was the one doing the looking after, it would be something like 見させてもらいます instead.

When you stick もらう or いただく after a verb, it’s you having someone else do that verb, not you doing it, so to make it work for “you” being the verb-doer, you have to flip the verb to a passive form. It’s kind of like the difference between “please [verb]” and “please allow me to [verb]”.)

どうしてトールがうちに来てくれる気になったのか

Two small things about this line. First: the “came here” is うちにきてくれる uchi ni kite kureru. The two words I want to mention are uchi, which is like “my/our place” (like “wanna come to my place?”), and kureru, which is used as a helping verb to denote that a verb was done for someone else.

So basically the Japanese adds two extra layers of… emotion(?) to the “came here.” That is, “here” is specified as Kobayashi’s home (vs “here” being more vague and could just mean “this world”), and the “came” is conjugated in a way that expresses Kobayashi sees Tohru’s .

The second, more minor, is that it seems like the English took the 気になった ki ni natta and changed it from talking about Tohru to talking about Kobayashi.

Ki ni naru can mean to take an interest in something (“I’m curious”), or when attached to a verb, can mean “got the will/motivation to do [verb].” In this sentence, it’s attached to the verb phrase uchi ni kite kureru, so meaning more like “why you chose to come here.”

(That said you could easily leave the “curious to hear” part there in the English too though, since that still makes sense for her asking a question like this.)

(Basically the English reads like a translation of どうしてトールがここに来たのか気になった instead of the line in question.)

So like as an example alt:

“I’m curious what moved you to come live with me.”

Which still doesn’t fully grasp that kureru, since that’s a hard thing to just “slip in” in English, but does hit a few other relevant notes and should still be okay length-wise (cursed subtitle restrictions!).

The phrase for “[move] to the big city” here is 上京 joukyou. It combines the characters for “up” and “capital” (of a state/country) and is used as a verb for moving to the capital—these days, specifically Tokyo.

(It used to mean moving to Kyoto, and I’m told it annoys some old-school Kyoto-ites if you use it to say moving from Kyoto to Tokyo, lol.)

[sob-dylan]

ranking of bcs season 5 episodes based on how sexy i found them

10. Namaste dir. & writ. Gordon Smith

good ep, not sexy. jimmy commits his first hate crime against the dandy howard hamlin. hostile work environment at los pollos. the return of the uncomfortably stereotypical thugs that beat up mike. very let down because gordon smith has written some of bcs’s sexiest episodes in past seasons, including gloves off, chicanery, & something beautiful. the car chase intercut with lyle cleaning the fryer was pretty sexy tho. 2/10

9. Dedicado a Max dir. Jim McKay, writ. Heather Marion

this ep ranks so low because of what it could have been. was expecting it to be the sexiest episode, but was given very little of what was promised. the fountain was sexy, scheming kim was sexy, any invocation of revenge is sexy. that’s about it. 2.5/10

8. Wexler v. Goodman dir. Michael Morris, writ. Thomas Schnauz

first we’ve seen of nacho in a long time, but as usual it’s not nearly enough. he is reunited with mike, giving him the opportunity to play a bargaining chip for the first time in two seasons, which is sexy of him, but also reminded me of the how little he’s done since he became fring’s dog. nacho being underutilized is not sexy. (i could go on a whole rant about the poker chip we’ve seen nacho fiddling with a few times during different collection scenes, but i don’t think i quite understand it enough). kim suffers the worst day of her professional career because jimmy decided he knew what she wanted instead of listening to her. not sexy. lalo getting arrested was, of course, very sexy. 4/10

7. Magic Man directed by Bronwen Hughes, written by Peter Gould

sexy episode, but it all rests on the shoulders of lalo, nacho, & gus (+ a very timid domingo-- i’m into that). the mcwexler stuff just made me sad. lalo’s lounging in el michoacáno with his blue loafers kicked up? much appreciated. lalo and nacho constantly calling each other “man”? nice! the sit down between lalo and gus was very sexy, but the sexiest part of this episode for me was the trap house, especially the beginning sequence. loved the scene starting from inside the car with some great tunes, the camera following the meth down the drainpipe, lalo’s erratic driving and his refusal to acknowledge arlo, the power that nacho has demonstrated by arlo shutting up when he gets out of the car, the slightly shaky camera work in this moment, nacho leaping up those stairs and then pounding on the door before gently telling mouse it’s okay. all incredibly sexy! 6/10

6. JMM dir. Melissa Bernstein, writ. Alison Tatlock

pretty fucking sexy for production legend melissa bernstein’s directorial debut.  not only is it the first bit of substantial lalo content in a while, it’s the debut of jorge de guzman! the shot of him from the shoulders down with the focus on his tattoo? sneaking a phone in so he can tell nacho to burn down los pollos? the arson itself? very, very sexy. vague allusions to what went down in santiago? frustrating, but sexy. kim and jimmy consummating the most ill-advised marriage ever authorized by the state of new mexico? sexy, (especially kim’s hair). lydia rodarte-quayle! “shanked and shivved and whatnot.” that was a very sexy suggestion, lydia, keep ‘em coming! 7/10

5. Bagman dir. Vince Gilligan, writ. Gordon Smith

vince gilligan’s triumphant and very sexy return. the shoot out! the time lapse of the clouds while jimmy and mike walk along at a normal speed! “my wife” & “mrs. goodman!” and of course, the sexiest thing of all, the meeting between kim and lalo. gordon smith redeemed himself with this one. despite the piss-drinking, a very sexy episode indeed. 7.8/10

4. The Guy For This dir. Michael Morris, writ. Ann Cherkis 

a very, very sexy ep! a swarm of ants set to yodeling isn’t in itself sexy, but i respect the symbolism and the bold creative choice. but then! the garage scene! imo this was the sexiest scene of the season. everything from the blocking to the lighting, not to mention the Acting. i’ve rewatched that scene many, many times. other sexy things about this episode: kim yelling at acker, kim opening up, nacho’s lounging-at-home-watching-soccer outfit, amber & jo, the one genuine smile nacho has all season (at the beginning of a devastating conversation with his father), lalo making jimmy and nacho watch him drive his car, “you’ll make time!”, nacho’s signature car-leaning, & “once you’re in, you’re in.” 8/10

3. 50% Off dir. Norberto Barba, writ. Alison Tatlock

look: i can admit that this hole ranking system is heavily dependent on how much nacho & lalo there was in an episode. this episode started with a home invasion at casa de varga so that gus could intimidate nacho in his underwear and ended with nacho rolling up on jimmy and then making him drop his mint chip in the street. and in between? the poker game. the birth of ocho loco/krazy-8. THE PARKOUR. “ignacio varga, eres un chingon.” the small expression of pride on nacho’s face when lalo says “it’s your call.” nacho finally accepting food from lalo, only to find it’s a trap! lalo using his own brand of the lie detector to make nacho offer to kill his oldest friend. dear god! this ep marked the explosion of the eduardo “lalo” salamanca/ignacio “nacho” varga tag on ao3. it’s an inspiring kind of sexiness. mike’s story was compelling, but a boner-killer. 8.9/10

2.  Bad Choice Road dir. & writ. Thomas Schnauz

ah! the something stupid callback! jimmy falling to his knees when he finally gets a signal! kim crying! jimmy’s trauma! the godfather reference with the oranges! (and no, i didn’t pull that out of my ass. peter gould mentioned it on the podcast) the care-taking, despite kim having every right to be furious with jimmy! the tender and heartbroken look on lalo’s face when he leaves the nursing home! lalo impatiently ordering his new chauffeur nacho around! the way lalo stands when nacho drops him off at the well! how happy nacho is to finally be rid of lalo for just 3 seconds before lalo gets back in the car! the lalo leap! the final scene! rhea claiming her emmy! but ultimately what’s so sexy about this ep is how well it encapsulated the ethos of the show. i’m still salty about the dinner party (???) with lalo, nacho, and nacho’s girlfriends getting cut, tho. 9/10

1. Something Unforgivable dir. Peter Gould, writ. Peter Gould & Ariel Levine

i don’t consider it the best episode of the season (that would be bagman), nor is it my favorite (that would be 50% off), but imo it is the sexiest episode of bcs yet. slippin’ kimmy! the finger guns! the kansas city royals shirt! kim laughing in howard’s face! the post-coital mcwexler scheming! and of course every single scene in mexico! nacho’s forced smiles! lalo’s unmitigated excitement at returning home! “nachito!” lalo’s despicable but still somehow sexy attitude toward that poor kid ciro! the scene where he’s fixing the car! lalo’s praise of nacho! lalo being the life of the party! everyone adoring him expect for juan bolsa! lalo’s party shirt! nacho’s tough but respectful chain-over-a-fully-buttoned-shirt-cause-it’s-time-to-meet-the-don look! nacho spelling out exactly what he wants! lalo closely watching nacho and don eladio! the intimate, late-night fireside conversation! the beautiful emotional asymmetry of that scene! a man who is finally ready to allow himself to trust someone choosing the wrong person! (in other words: lalo lowkey trying to get laid while nacho’s actively trying to facilitate his assassination!) nacho being the resourceful little bitch we all love! lalo immediately blaming poor ciro! (seriously, what is the story there??) the frying pan! the fucking tunnel! lalo kneeling over that dying hitman, peeling off the mask that’s melted to his face, and gently telling him “esta bien” ! lalo limping out of his estate with murder in his eyes, ready to hunt down the only man not carrying the Salamanca name he’s ever trusted! if this ep had included nacho regaining a shred of agency over his situation, it could have a perfect score. 9.9/10

[thebellekeys]

Here’s me roasting some foreign language literature

2/7 of my final exams are finished so I will be roasting all of the Spanish and French literature books that I studied over the last two years, ranking them in order of how much they should have existed in the first place, uwu.

Spoiler: I have no idea what I’m talking about.

8. Pays-Mêles and Nanna-Ya by Maryse Condé.

Main idea: Men are trash.

Synopsis and Review: Two novellas about the legacy of colonialism in the French and English Caribbean. Umm, women suffer a lot, racism exists, rich kids are treated like breeding mares, guys beat girls a lot, everyone’s life is kinda suckish. I... I think that’s it, lmao. I swear I’d rather die than ever have to reread these stories beyond for my exams. I just can’t tell you what the point was. This was painful, but Condé raises important questions concerning négritude and the partiarchal nature of Caribbean society so I can’t give this nothing.

Rating: 1/5

7. El coronel no tiene quien la escriba by Gabriel García Márquez.

Main idea: Go vegan.

Synopsis and Review: This was almost as bad as Condé, but it’s not last because I have a special fondness for Colombia and Colombian history, and I also love seeing la mujer stick it to el coronel. It lowkey reminds me of my parents. I, personally, as a being, would have curried the rooster a long time ago but not everything is about me. A lot of absolute nothing happens in this book and I won’t pretend otherwise. It’s just a lot of old people basking in their own futility and impending death. It’s borderline painful except for one scene where el coronel thinks he’s talking to a dead guy out of nowhere. That was fun. Also, screw Sabas.

Rating: 1.25/5

6. Un Papillon dans la Cité by Gisèle Pineau.

Main idea: Diasporic life is overrated.

Synopsis and Review: Okay, a kid narrates this book and it was kind of annoying for me. But, all that happens is that Félicie goes to France and realizes that it ain’t shit and that she misses her Grandma. It’s basically 5 chapters long, but there’s admittedly some commentary and subtext about why white countries aren’t the Promised Land and also, the writing style was sometimes interesting to me. That being said, I lost a lot of hours on this book.

Rating: 1.75/5

5. Une Si Longue Lettre by Mariama Bâ.

Main idea: Disappointed but not surprised.

Synopsis and Review: So our resilient Senegalese queen Ramatoulaye is writing a letter to her BFF as they discuss exactly how their husbands have (repeatedly) failed them. Basically, Ramatoulaye’s husband got a second wife behind her back who happens to be a girl that’s his teen daughter’s age i.e. the daughter’s friend. Ramatoulaye says “screw it” and decides to just be completely independent from him. Now, this is the most interesting thing about the story... the details about their childhood and the political background of the country didn’t interest me as much. Anyway, the hubby dies which triggers Ramatoulaye to write the letter. Whoop.

Rating: 3/5

4. Cuentos de Eva Luna by Isabel Allende.

Main idea: Only women deserve rights.

Synopsis and Review: This is an anthology of short stories about ~the human experience~ and features a lot of feminist rhetoric, commentary on European imperialism, humanity, power dynamics, and love. And sex. Lots of fade-to-black-the-CW-type sex scenes that we had to discuss with our teachers, lmao (save me). Anyways, the stories we zoned in on were beautiful and empowering even despite their conciseness. Nonetheless, my issue with this book is the *ahem* magical realism. Eye- okay, listen, I get that the stylistic choices of Allende are to create a fable-like reading experience for the reader, to enchant them, whatever, but for me, personally, sometimes her writing style in these stories comes across as a wee bit pretentious. Maybe that’s the whole point but I found myself cringing enough to remember this detail.

Rating: 4/5

3. Bodas de sangre by Federico García Lorca.

Main idea: Woe is me! *snatches babe*

Synopsis and Review: I love this play so much, I almost put it second actually. My sole qualm with it is that everyone is so fricking extra in this bitch that I’m like “stop lamenting to the moon and start stabbing each other please!”, but other than that, this is exquisite solely because it’s full of drama and angst. Mutual pining, cheating, forbidden romance, secrecy, discourse on the validity of the bride’s virginity? It’s all there, bud. Leonardo is a bit of a bitchass but I imagine him as a hot Enrique-looking ass type guy so I can’t really blame the bride. Out of all the main characters on this list, I only want to fight Leo slightly less than the MC of my #2 pick.

Rating: 4.5/5

2. Les Mains Sales by Jean-Paul Sartre.

Main idea: Eat the rich.

Synopsis and Review: Okay, Hugo is the biggest bitchass of all time, but like, he humors me with it, okay. Olga is the baddest HBIC ever, and Jessica deserves better. Anyways, the discourse on power and politics and capitalism through pure dialogue was enough to hook me yet not overwhelm me. The constant foiling, and every passive-aggressive conversation between Hugo and Jessica was worth the 8 weeks of studying it. The ending made the entire story even better than it already was. Everything in this play boils down to “I’m insecure and I wanna die but then I wouldn’t be able to fight the bourgeoisie so what now?”.

Rating: 5/5

1. La Casa en Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros.

Main idea: You can run, but you can’t hide (from yourself).

Synopsis and Review: This is so beautiful that I didn’t even need to take this book in 2020 yet I still think about it all the time. It’s the most lovely in-school book I’ve read in secondary school. This is a book that’s meant to be read only in Spanish, because the translations of the vignettes aren’t done any justice in English. Anyway, it’s a collection of short stories and vignettes about Esperanza, a young chicana girl in Chicago dealing with her internal, familial, and cultural issues. It’s hella freaking inspiring so go learn the Spanish language and read it. Now.

Rating : 6/5

Anyway... I’ll miss some lit classes. But not all.

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

Triple the Losers AU - Concept Notes

i wanted there to be 27 but if i added patties and audras that made 27 but then i’d have to add kay bc i love her which would make 28 so 21 it is

so the basic concept for this is “hey guys remember how i doubled the baudelaires and made the best au with movie! and netflix!bauds well we’re doing that with book, miniseries and film losers club” 

So, yeah, in this au, the book, miniseries and film Losers are all in the same universe, related, and ready to kill a clown. There is no Chapter Two because these kids bully that clown to death asap. 

A friend group of 21 is pretty wild but definitely makes for a pretty great army. 

Full list of Losers:

The Denbrough Boys

Isaac Denbrough - film!Bill

13

An adopted sibling, though he’s never known any family but the Denbroughs and is never considered anything other than the oldest Denbrough boy 

Artist who wants to illustrate for his brothers’ books bc he loves them

Gay but in denial. Giant crush on Daniel Hanlon. 

Anselm Denbrough - miniseries!Bill 

12 

Likes to write fantasy novels as an escape from reality 

Fights with Bill about whether fantasy or horror is better which is lowkey a metaphor for them arguing about how to deal with their trauma

William “Bill” Denbrough - book!Bill

11

Writes horror stories cause he loves psychological analyzation 

He prefers to face his fears rather than “escape” from them, causing tension between he and Anselm with how they deal with Georgie’s death

Georgie Denbrough - there is only one Georgie as he literally only exists for like one chapter

6 

Loves his brothers 

Dead as fuck, sorry 

Stuttering seems to be a family trait during childhood in the Denbrough family that Anselm and Bill are afflicted with, though Bill much more than his older bother. (Isaac also starts stuttering young, which is suspected to be more psychological.) This trait skipped a generation, and thus the Denbrough parents don’t really know enough about how to deal with their sons’ disability.

They’re a very creative family, usually in terms of creative writing, though they’re also pretty skilled in the art department. Sharon Denbrough is a skilled pianist and taught Isaac until recently. The family was never very close, and Bill always had a rocky relationship with his parents, but the family fell apart after the death of Georgie. Isaac and Bill found themselves practically ignored, while Anselm was pretty much yelled at for trying to fix everything. The brothers only managed to maintain their relationship by trying to avenge Georgie by killing this fucking clown.

The Hanscom Boys

Desmond “Des” Hanscom - film!Ben

13 

Would like to go into Investigative Journalism, though he’s also really into Local Histories

Tends to be afraid of the concept of death more than anything else 

Has a lot of social anxiety 

Auster Hanscom - miniseries!Ben

12

Super into all forms of writing but mostly poetry, which he loves and kinda obsesses over 

Was most affected by not having a father figure around, as Des and Ben didn’t seem to mind 

Assumed he was straight for a while but is probably demi 

Benjamin “Ben” Hanscom - book!Ben

11 

The Architect, and his love of blueprints and planning has made him the main strategist of the Losers Club 

He really doesn’t have many psychological demons so his worst fear is just the mummy he saw in a movie too late at night

Pure baby 

The Hanscoms’ father left the family when Arlene was still pregnant with Ben; while the boys never understood why, they sometimes speculate about secret missions, one or both of their parents cheating, government conspiracies, etc. Des and Ben never really minded, as Des was quite the introvert and Ben was close with their mom, but Auster really wished they could have a paternal figure, especially since the boys tend to be shunned for their genetic overweight appearance and he really wished for some kind of acceptance. 

The move to Derry was recent, as Arlene managed to find a higher-paying job that could help her support her boys. Ben managed to get himself in trouble with the Bowers Gang, meaning that his brothers, defensive of him, also became targets. But they manage to find friends in the Losers Club, and with the whole gang together, nobody’s going to be able to hurt them... right? 

The Marsh Girls

Karen “Karrie” Marsh - film!Bev

13 

Hates her name, thinks it sounds like a middle-aged mom. Goes by Karrie which she thinks sounds cooler (and serves as another Stephen King reference)

Wants to do movie stunts as an adult, is the most daring and bold of the Losers Club, and also probably the physically strongest 

Intensely protective of her sisters, especially due to their home situation 

Brooke Marsh - miniseries!Bev

12 

The sweetest little angel you will ever meet. Has never done anything wrong in her life 

Wants to be a painter and is very artistic. Karrie has shoplifted her paint supplies before 

The only one of her sisters to not smoke, as they refuse to let her near cigarettes 

Beverly “Bev” Marsh - book!Bev

11 

Technically the half-sister (stepsister?) of her older sisters, and can tell that her Mom doesn’t seem to care for her sisters much. She loves them, though, and won’t stand for people insulting them 

Quite the fashion designer, and even though the family is poor, she’s been making sure they don’t look like shit since she could choose her own clothes 

Probably the most manipulative of the Losers, though this has its advantages, such as when they need to get out of trouble. 

Giant Lesbian, definitely marries Kay McCall 

Karrie and Brooke have lived under the hate of their father for a while, due to the fact that he blames them for their mother’s death; Karrie brought home a virus from daycare that infected their mother, weakening her enough that labor with Brooke killed her. Karrie tends to get the most shit for this, mainly because Brooke gets along more with their stepmother, Elfrida. Elfrida married their father only a few months following their mother’s death, mainly due to the fact that Al got her pregnant. The family is quite poor, and the parents work quite a lot, meaning the sisters have gotten pretty good at fending for themselves. 

Recently, the girls have started to get more fears about their father than just physical abuse- he’s been acting weird around Karrie and Bev, and while Brooke seems to avoid his eye for the time being, she has been quite hurt by his violent outbursts. Karrie’s secretly been saving up to take her sisters away before he can do anything to them, though she’s not sure how to tell Brooke and Bev, as they don’t even understand what they’re supposed to be afraid of. But while they’re in Derry, they end up finding themselves among the Losers Club, on a mission to save the children of the town by killing a monster that lives in the sewers. That won’t be much of a problem; they have much worse monsters at home. 

The Kaspbrak Boys

Chase Kaspbrak - film!Eddie

13 

Somehow simultaneously the most paranoid and most reckless boy in the world 

He’s really into analysis and predicting events 

Can and Will fight you, but he will be bitching about it the entire time 

Otto Kaspbrak - miniserires!Eddie

11, Eddie’s older twin 

Incredibly stubborn and snarky, but also the most loyal Loser and the most sincere 

Has an interest in mechanics and repair, and when his mom’s not looking he’ll take things apart to find out how they work 

Edward “Eddie” Kaspbrak - book!Eddie

11, Otto’s younger twin

Very adaptable and adventurous, though he has a lot of anxiety at times 

Special Interest in cars, wants to be a driver as an adult

Able to find direction no matter where they are, and his gift of coordination has helped the Losers numerous times 

There will absolutely be a car chase scene where he has to drive 

Chase is the only Kaspbrak who really remembers their father, being seven when he died instead of his brothers’ five. He seems to recall them not being so sick back then, though his Mother claims otherwise, and their father being a good, playful man. But he’s not here now, and their mother, Sonia, is paranoid about everything. Her boys are very weak and sick and can’t do much, and she hates that they have such rough, rude friends that must be corrupting them somehow. 

The boys, however, are much more adventurous and capable than Sonia believes- especially Chase, who has actually won more than one fight, mostly on behalf of his brothers. As the eldest, Chase believes he has to protect Otto and Eddie, whether it be from a bunch of school bullies, a killer clown in the sewers, or their own mother. Also, Chase and Eddie are gay as hell and Otto is demi-gay as fuck. 

The Hanlon Boys

Daniel “Danny” Hanlon - film!Mike

14, the oldest of the Losers

He’s actually the cousin of Orel and Mike; he recently moved in with his aunt and uncle after the death of his parents in a house fire. He’s pretty traumatized from the incident 

Wants more than anything to travel and explore the world, meet new people and see everything there is to see, and being stuck in boring, bigoted Derry is pretty much hell for him 

He is very protective of his cousins and friends, though, and is the one who believes the most in their ability to triumph over Pennywise

Orel Hanlon - miniseries!Mike

12

Incredibly excitable and very optimistic, as well as incredibly bookish. As such, he tends to infodump whether people want to hear him or not 

Super into cartography, and collects old, antique maps as well as making his own pretty much wherever they go 

Really into gruesome horror stuff and doesn’t understand why it scares and/or grosses out other people. 

Michael “Mike” Hanlon - book!Mike

11 

Incredibly watchful and steadfast, and the Loser with perhaps the most emotional stability 

He’s a lil Historian whose greatest desire is to work for the library and get to read as many books as he wants 

Just. really fucking loves his dog 

Orel and Mike don’t go into town much, mainly staying on their farm with their loving parents and spending their time with the farm animals; Mike is closest to their watchdog, but Orel loves being among the sheep. In the last few months, their cousin Danny moved in with them, and their relationship is... a bit awkward. Orel is too blunt and Mike is too curious, and they don’t know how to carefully approach the subject of his parents burning to death in front of him without making him feel worse. 

It doesn’t help that Danny hates Derry; it’s bigoted, it’s tiny, it’s in the middle of nowhere, and people are dying left and right. However, once his cousins convince him to come hang out with their friends, he ends up bonding with the other Losers of the town, even though they’re all a bunch of weird white kids. And though the Hanlons don’t deal much with town business, they’re ready to join in the fight to stop Pennywise from killing anyone else. 

The Tozier Triplets

Reynard “Reynie” Tozier - film!Richie

12, the firstborn of the triplets 

Loudmouthed, rude, impulsive and very crass, mainly to hide his crippling self-doubt and fears of being ostracized  

Super good at video games and says he wants to be a professional gamer, though honestly he’s just really interested in stand-up comedy 

Gay as all fuck

Roderick “Rod” Tozier - minseries!Richie

12, the middle of the triplets

While he’s just as hyperactive as his triplets, he’s a bit more controlled and actually the least raunchy, meaning Reynie and Richie joke that he’s not using his name correctly 

Wants to be a voice actor for cartoons like Looney Tunes, and is actually getting decent at impersonating the RoadRunner. 

Richard “Richie” Tozier - book!Richie

12, the youngest of the triplets 

Pretty wild and uncontrollable, energized as all hell, and makes off-color jokes to piss people off and get attention, though he does have a true heart for his friends 

Wants to have his own radio show in the future. Was the first to befriend the Marsh girls, because he and Bev would share cigarettes during recess 

Bi as all fuck 

The Tozier triplets are a trio of ADHD disasters and nobody in Derry can or will ever forget it. Reynie and Rod tend to “big brother” Richie, meaning they tend to end up slapping him upside the head for saying something insensitive, though sometimes Reynie says something a bit too impulsively as well. They used to do different voices to entertain each other, meaning it’s a bit of an interest for all of them. While Reynie tends to lean more towards comedy, though, Rod wants to be a voice actor for cartoons like Looney Tunes, and Richie hopes to be some kind of radio personality. 

Their parents mean well but are often at work, and even at home they don’t quite understand their boys, so the triplets are pretty used to relying on each other. Reynie kinda has the least parental affection, as Rod and Richie tend to get into even more shit than he does, so he kinda falls to the wayside. His isolation tends to manifest in fears of abandonment and loneliness- and a public outing resulting in such, starting when he started to realize that he maybe didn’t like girls as much as he said he did. Rod and Richie, meanwhile, also have vague fears of outing, though Pennywise represents their bisexuality as werewolfism- always transforming in painful and terrifying ways. 

The Uris Boys

Mason Uris - film!Stan

13 

Very cautious, but definitely not the Mom friend; he will inform you how shitty your idea is, but will not stop you, and in fact will grab popcorn to watch 

Loves studying art history and different art forms, though he doesn’t want to create them himself, just catalogue them. He likes to entertain Isaac and Brooke by “critiquing” their “fabulous” artwork

The only one of his siblings who doesn’t get along with their parents 

Peter Uris - miniseries!Stan

12, almost 13 

Incredibly logical and has the most anxiety. Is the last one to believe in the clown just because it doesn’t fit into his worldview 

While all the boys love birdwatching, he’s the one who’d like to go into it as a profession; he loves ornithology and wants to study birds for the rest of his life 

Stanley “Stan” Uris - book!Stan

11 

Loves to have things in order, and doesn’t really know how to interact with people socially, because people don’t act in predictable ways. 

Super good at mathematics and hopes to be an engineer or accountant 

Has the weirdest sense of humor, which means he is the best

The Urises are one of the few Jewish families in town, and in a bigoted town like Derry, that means they were pretty much outcasted from the getgo. They are all relatively close with each other, in that they’ll argue nonstop but also would die for each other without question. Peter and Stan probably get along the best, as they’ll sit and talk about birds until they pass out, while Mason likes to sit in his room and read his books on famous artists. Mason also has a bit more of a strained relationship with his parents, while his brothers get along with them much better. 

The boys refused to believe in Pennywise for the longest time, as they’re all very logical and orderly and “magic alien clown eating kids by turning into their fears” doesn’t exactly fit into their normal worldview. But they’re going to stick by their friends and do their best to protect themselves and the town... and, well, if the way to kill the clown is by bullying him to death, they have a shitton of insults they’ve been saving for a special occasion. 

[geneticmisfit]

Gather ‘round, gather ‘round, children

It’s time to talk about Peter’s evolving views on Tony

This will be rambly, but still I will break this down by focusing on Peter’s Head Space in each movie he appears in

aka this will be broken into three ( and a half. ish. ) parts: Iron Man 2 / Civil War / Homecoming, with a side dish of Infinity War.

It will also be a two-in-one as I will talk about Peter’s Homecoming arc as a character.

This is going to be a LONG post

Okay so, to understand Peter’s attitude towards Tony in CW and Homecoming, we need to set the clock back a few movies back. More specifically, this moment:

IRON MAN 2:

While at the time the movie came out, this was a simple gag moment, a fun beat to break the intense flow of an action sequence. However, during Homecoming press junket, Tom revealed in an interview that he got word from Feige that they were retconning ( retroactive continuity = adding something extra / a new layer to a piece of content years after the fact ) that moment to have that kid be Peter as a 9-10 year old kid. Now, this is an EXTREMELY interesting piece of content if you look at Peter’s reactions to Tony in both Civil War and Homecoming.

The thing you need to understand is, Peter is a nerd. ( shocking, I know ). Like, he is a deep comic book and science nerd and you bet your ass he was extremely excited about the fact that Iron Man existed because, [cue 9 year old mindset]  he was a PURE FORM OF SCIENCE. This rich dude built a suit ! An actual technological suit ! That can do amazing things ! Think of the possibilities in robotics ! And he was a bona-fide real life superhero ?! How dope was THAT ?! 

Best way to summarize Peter’s attitude towards Tony is that Tony was Justin Bieber and Peter had the Bieber Fever. 

And then, six months, he is at the Expo. And suddenly there is chaos. And suddenly one of those Robots he read in all those comic books is advancing towards him. Naturally, as an easily-impressioned nine year old, he thinks: What would Iron Man Do ?! So, he raises his arm, like he had seen Iron Man do in all those videos, and then...

He shows up. Actual Iron Man. In the flesh. And they had taken down a bad guy ! Together ! And he told him he had done a good job ! Imagine that ! You bet he cherishes that moment and keeps it with him and everything he does for the next few years. Maybe one day he will meet him again ! And show his IDOL ( because he is full on idolizing him at this point, don’t forget ) what he can do with his chemistry and robotics skills ! ( Keep in mind, Peter was already interested in these things before IM 2, but this just galvanized that hunger for knowledge even more )

However, one thing you need to keep in mind, people CHANGE. While you can still idolize someone, THAT OVERWHELMING FEELING WILL GET REPLACED AS YOU GET OLDER AND YOUR ATTENTION SHIFTS TO OTHER THINGS. 

aka, Peter’s Vague Notion of Being A Hero meets reality in Peter’s Uncle Ben moment.

and by that I mean his literal Uncle Ben moment.

IN-BETWEEN THE MOVIES:

Because, what is a fourteen year old suddenly getting actual superpowers supposed to think ? Of course he is going to liken himself to his idol Iron Man and think joining this super cool wrestling thing will mean his one quick ticket to fame and stardom because Iron Man did it so easily, right ? 

Also, yes, I am sticking with the wrestling origin for my MCU Peter, because I adore the wrestling origin. 

But then-- Things don’t work out like that. A child meets the cold truths of reality. He lets the bad guy go away out of simple spite and a general feeling of uncaringness, and it results in the death of the man he loved the most, a man who was his FATHER in everything but name. 

Peter learns that night that he will never look the other way if he can help it. 

( which is why I think Peter’s Civil War quote of When you do the things that I can, but you don’t, and then the bad things happen-- They happen because of you is SUCH a wonderful and organic take on the Great Power line. )

Which then brings us to...

CIVIL WAR:

So, at this point, Tony is more or less the LAST thing on Peter’s mind. He is busy dealing with grief ( considering it’s only four to five months after Ben’s death at this point, it’s still Fresh ), and his newfound sense of duty and responsibility, he has no time to dwell on Iron Man.

Until Tony literally shows up inside his living room.

At that point, all the old feelings surface, [cue 9 year old mindset] Oh my god ! That’s Tony Stark ! And he is here? For me ? He wants my help ? He wants me to go to Germany ?! Well, of course, of course I’m going to go to Germany with him, that means I can finally show him what I can do with my powers ! And make him proud ! Because he is my Idol and I really care about what he thinks ! 

Two things about this: 

First of all, this is extremely childish behavior from Peter. And you can TELL it is because in THIS Civil War scene, you can see both sides of Peter that will be more evident in Homecoming. First you have SPIDEY!PETER, who vehemently denies being Spider Man when confronted until Tony literally dangles the suit in front of him, is defensive about his costume and casually proud about his web fluid, but then he is also extremely serious about not telling May and later on during his speech about his responsibilities for doing what he is doing. This is the Peter we see for majority of the bedroom sequence. However in this sequence, we can see bits of the Fanboy Peter peek out a little, his excited look at seeing Tony, that posture of Pride when Tony calls him by his Superhero Name. It’s that nine year old child living his DREAM. And we see MORE of that side of Peter in the airport sequence, with his repeated mentions of wanting to impress Mister Stark, and the heavy insinuations that Tony dragged him along to Germany but told him ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT THE ACCORDS. 

There is also the case of Tony lowkey highkey convincing Peter to go to Germany with him by threatening to spill his secret to May. Put a pin on all of this, it will be touched upon towards the end. 

AND THEN WE GET TO HOMECOMING AND PETER’S GROWTH AS A PERSON AND HIS SELF-ACCEPTANCE

Peter’s views of Tony changes completely in this movie, along with Peter’s views of himself. Peter’s character arc in this movie is ACCEPTING SPIDER MAN IS A PART OF PETER RATHER THAN A SEPARATE ENTITY. For the first half of the movie, Peter is ready to shed his civilian persona. He is leaving school clubs, he is distancing himself from everyone, constantly sneaking out to be Spider-Man because, in a case of Guess Whose Nine Year Old Self Came Back, Peter is desperately trying to impress his idol once again. And, in addition to that, it is simply more FUN ( initially ) to be Spider-Man. He is known ! He is famous ! He can do incredible things he can’t do as Peter Parker ! Peter Parker who is constantly ridiculed at school and is borderline invisible beyond the decathlon club.  Why would he go back to being Peter Parker when he can be Spider-Man full time ? Especially when Iron Man, THE Iron Man, told him they could call him after Germany ! He must have impressed him, right ?! 

Wrong.

Peter lets his priorities shift from Doing It in Ben’s memory, to doing it to Impress Tony. And the result is the ferry incident. Peter is full on relieving his worst memories, he let the power to go his head, he let himself be cocky like that night in the Wrestling Ring, as a result he let innocents get hurt and nearly WORSE. 

Tell me that isn’t the look of a kid who is relieving the worst night of his life in his head.

And then Tony shows up, tells him how much of a FAILURE he was, and tells him practically everything he was already telling HIMSELF. ‘’ What if someone had died tonight ? That’s on YOU.’’ as if he doesn’t already know what that’s like.

But then, he also says something key, that based on the tip Peter gave Tony, Tony called the FBI but didn’t tell Peter. And then told him he was in the wrong for not knowing what he was not told in the first place.

And then, it clicks in his head, All this time I’ve been trying so hard to impress Mister Stark but-- he didn’t think of me enough to LET ME KNOW what I’ve been going after for the past several weeks. I was so caught up in impressing him that I forgot why I do it for.

This is part one of two of his self-realization of the connection between being Peter and being Spider Man, and the de-idolization of Tony in Peter’s eyes.

Part two comes after the reveal that Toomes is Liz’s dad.

After the Stark Suit is gone, Peter is back to basics. He is back at school, being a kid, he feels like he has lost the right to be Spider-Man. He nearly became the Burglar to the ferry’s Uncle Ben. ( it’s a shitty metaphor but you get what I mean ). And he does something Peter Parker never managed to do before-- He asks Liz Allan out. 

Even he is surprised by this.

That’s his first keying into the fact that being Spider-Man, having that courage and bravado, has spilled into the life of Peter Parker as something for the better. He now had the balls he previously lacked to ask his crush out.

However, the key moment comes at THIS point.

He has just discovered that That Vulture Guy is Liz’s dad, and he just threatened him with a gun, and told him he could just walk away from all of it, if he just lets himself be Peter for the night.

He could be Peter Parker. He could be the one to dance with Liz Allan all night in that prom, in front of everyone, be the Cool Kid he dreamed of being.

But that would mean letting Toomes go, and succeed with his heist.

And that’s not something he can do, not after he failed Ben’s memory with the Ferry incident.

When you do the things that I can, but you DON’T, and then the bad things happen, they happen because of you.

But the full REALIZATION of his duality comes when he is all alone.

He is, for all intents and purposes, left to die. There is no one to help him. He cries out for help, to anyone, EVERYONE, to Tony, the Idol he wanted to impress so badly-- Yet he is not there. No one is there. And when he looks down, he doesn’t see Spider-Man, the Cool Hero of Queens who is becoming a Friendly Neighborhood in his own right.

It is an on the nose visual, one that harkens back to the comics, but it is also an important visual reminder for Peter. Because, behind the mask of the Great Hero, is the face of a frightened kid. But he is not just a frightened kid-- Because he is also Spider-Man ! The only way he discovered who Vulture was, was because of Peter Parker ! He was going after Toomes because of Peter Parker ! Peter Parker who was becoming more recognized by his friends, who now had the courage to speak out and talk to his crushes like Liz, and rivals like Flash ! Peter Parker who-- Who enjoyed of being. He didn’t have to sacrifice for the other, he could have both sides of him feed off of each other and become better !

And, when he finally moves to lift the pillar with the sheer force of his will, the first name he calls out, the first THOUGHT that galvanizes him, is PETER PARKER.

Come on Peter, come on Spider-Man.

Peter is the one that gives Spider-Man his strength. Not Tony, not Iron Man, himself.

Peter Parker manages to take down Vulture, Peter Parker manages to save the day. Not Spider-Man, not Iron Man, not any of the Avengers. Him.

And then-- He is invited to Upstate. He is going to Avengers Facility, the Nine Year old in him bursts out once again, there is excitement, had Tony finally recognized him ?!

He meets Tony, and Tony-- takes credit. He spins his genuine then-anger at Peter post Ferry, and Peter’s SELF-GROWTH, into something that he managed to do for Peter. Peter’s expression in this is telling.

‘’--jesus fucking christ this guy.’’

But then-- Tony offers Peter The Dream. Here is an Iron-Man like Spider Suit. Here it is your Official Invitation to the Avengers. It’s your dream kid, your nine year old self would have jumped at it without a second thought, what say you ? 

What says he is-- He is no longer that nine year old kid. He is a kid who learned his lessons the hard way. Who lost people for his mistakes. Who had to grab himself by the shoulders and raise himself to be the Hero He Wanted to Be. ( I’m saying he is alone when it comes to the Spidey thing, May is always there for him emotionally as Peter, before anyone @ ‘s me for erasing May or anything of the sort, that’s not the focus here )

And, he comes to realise-- Tony Stark is kind of an asshole. Now, BIG point her, WE THE AUDIENCE KNOW TONY’S CHARACTER INSIDE AND OUT BUT PETER DOES NOT. FROM PETER’S POINT OF VIEW, TONY HAS:

- Shown up in his life out of nowhere, with the knowledge of Peter’s Greatest Secret, then used it as a leverage to get him to go to Germany with him. ( Well Germany is dangerous better tell your hot aunt... Tony MAY have been joking then, but Peter does not know Tony well enough to know the difference. ) - Told him the reason Cap and others broke off was because Cap felt like he was right about something, but was actually in the wrong. And Peter just trusted Tony’s words without a second thought because why would The Iron Man lie to him ?? He Is Never Told Of The Accords by Tony. - Acted like he disregarded his tip on the Vulture, then revealed he called the FBI on it, but didn’t let Peter know like he didn’t think Peter might be interested in that info, and then YELLED at him for NOT KNOWING the said fact.  -With the benefit of hindsight, Peter agrees with the costume being taken away from him then, however for him to achieve that self emotional and personal growth, and then to see Tony act like he was taking all the credit for him is-- Annoying, to say the least. -AND KEEP IN MIND, When Peter refuses the Avengers invitation, he does not expect the Stark Suit to be returned to him. He is perfectly content to continue what he’s doing with his old pajamas. Because he is CONTENT. He has seen how Tony behaves, the in-fighting of the Avengers, how nobody was there when Vulture was clearly stealing from the government and was creating dangerous weapons and selling it on the streets. He has seen that, and he wants no part of that. ( I also guarantee he knows about the Accords at that point. So there is that after-the-fact realization of points 1 and 2 ) 

So, after ALL THAT, Peter’s current view on Tony is:

Mister Stark, I respect you, and I love everything you have done as an inventor and as Iron Man-- but I don’t want to BE you. From MY POINT OF VIEW, you’ve done nothing but lie and manipulate and take credit for things that I have done personally. To a degree, I GET it-- But I don’t want to BE it. 

It is also that destruction of hero worship that allows Peter to be himself come Infinity War. You can see that he no longer has that Hesitation around Tony, he is assertive ( coming up with the Aliens plan on the spot like no sweat ), he is relaxed, and he is comfortable enough to drag Tony and blame him for getting on the ship ( a little taste of his own medicine, if you will ), but still respect him, and be apologetic for not doing Good Enough during Titan fight. But it is not an apology in the sense of ‘I AM SORRY FOR FAILING YOU MISTER STARK I’M SORRY I DIDN’T IMPRESS YOU’, it is more of an apology for ‘I’m sorry because I failed and that’s on me’ 

TL : DR

- He views Ben Parker as his FATHER.  AND MAY AS HIS MOTHER. - He no longer hero worships Tony but respects him as a regular flawed person - He would sell Tony Stark for One Corn chip.  - He no longer gives a fuck about what Tony thinks of him because HE is the one being SPIDER MAN, not Tony. His mistakes are his own. And only persons to hold him accountable for that are HIMSELF and MAY. His FAMILY. 

And that concludes my TED Talk.

[marvelouspeterparker]

being in a long term relationship with tom holland:

omg like an imagine or head cannon where the reader and Tom have been dating for agessss (5/6 Years) and just how cute the relationship would be and how much they’d pull the piss out of each other.

submitted by @s-toneyyy​

alright 

so you and tom would basically be a married couple

it’s just that you weren’t technically married 

y’all would be so cute

like even after the “honeymoon” stage of the relationship

you still act like that

you’re still so sweet to each other

tom would give you massages after a long day to help you de-stress

and you would do the same for him 

you’d take baths together, tom would set the mood by putting rose petals everywhere and scented candles

he’s lowkey clumsy so he almost set the curtains on fire once or twice but whatever you still love him

you both would surprise each other by bringing home each others favorite foods or drinks or anything tbh

you’d take turns making dinner for each other, if you were a bad cook tom would either help you or you’d give up and order food

lol but tom still loved you and he loved doing anything with or for you 

sometimes you’d just cook together

as cheesy as it sounds, you’d look for recipes together and plan what you would cook throughout the week (if you had time)

you’d still be buying spiderman things tbh 

he may or may not have a shrine 

and you may or may not contribute to it

when he’s away filming you’d talk every day, he’d make time

he’d literally be in his trailer, getting his makeup done

or about to shoot a scene

sometimes he’d be in the scene and you’re like ??

he’d never wanna stop talking to you, no matter where he was 

if he couldn’t talk to you for some sad reason, he’d be really upset but he would ask you to text him like an essay of how your day was 

he’d send you essays too, but just to say how much he loved you and couldn’t wait to be back home with you

to sleep (cause you know sometimes he has trouble sleeping so he needs you there, you’d run your fingers through his hair, talk to him, anything would help as long as it was you)

to cuddle

he loved cuddling, and so did you 

he would be the big spoon and the little spoon 

his arm would be around your waist, and he’d subconsciously bring you closer to him in the middle of the night

if you try to get up good luck

you’re not going anywhere

even in his sleep he’s clingy 

but you love it :)

except when you have to pee, you’d literally have to pry him off of you, kick him off the bed even

he’d wake up jumbled 

“what’s going on??”

and you’d be like “you’re a fucking starfish, that’s what.” 

he’d be all pouty “it’s not my fault i wanna show my love, even in my sleep” 

pouty tom was cute, but .. your bladder

he’d also show his love by spoiling you tbh

you wouldn’t tell him to, obviously

but he’s a gentleman and the world’s sweetest boy .. sooo

he’d buy you dresses, shoes, lingerie, skirts, pants, hell even jeans or hoodies (tbh he’d prefer when you wore his hoodies tho)

he didn’t care what it was, if it was for you :) doesn’t matter 

he’d bring you along with him to his interviews and stuff

he’d make funny faces at you, and mouth words to you as you’re behind the camera

he would always end up looking at you instead of the interviewer

he’d always find a way to mention you during the interview and they’d be like “and she’s here today with us, isn’t she?”

and you’re shaking your head, slowly cause you weren’t prepared for this 

and tom’s smiling so wide cause he’s so proud to call you his, so he’s like “yes she is!” and he’s looking towards you, “come here, love, don’t be shy.”

and hesitantly you go towards him and say hi to the interviewer, and tom being well, tom, he literally makes you sit on his lap and he holds you there

and he’s so happy

he makes the interview about you, somehow

he really really loved and appreciated you 

but that doesn’t mean y’all wouldn’t tease each other

he would prank you and put it on his story tbh

he’d try to jump out and scare you, you’d kinda just scream and/or punch him…

his fault tho

sometimes if you wanted to tease him back, you’d pretend to be really upset 

he’d try his best to make up for it

“darling, it was just a joke, please forgive me?” all pouty and cute 

he’d get on his knees if he had to, he’s so extra 

and you’d be as serious as you can, “… tom, i’ve been thinking. i think we should…” and you take a dramatic pause

and he jumps to his feet, his face drops

“get pizza for dinner,” you smile at him, “i’m kinda hungry” 

you kiss him on the cheek and walk away 

and he literally can’t even function, his heart stopped beating and he’s so disoriented “lOvE you can’t do that to me!!” 

he’d chase after you and grab you from behind before carrying you to the couch

and you’d be trying to squirm away or run but he’s faster

“ah, ah, ah love, you almost gave me a heart attack.” and he’d tickle you until you weren’t able to breathe 

“t-tom please- i can’t” 

and he’d stop. eventually

and he’d attack you with kisses, everywhere 

on your face, down your neck, your stomach

then you’d sit up and grab his face and plant a big ole kiss on his lips, his hands around your waist and you’d both fall back against the couch

you’d just stay like that for a while, holding each other and you’d end up watching a movie there

you’d probably fall asleep there, too

but you forgot to get a blanket and you’re both too lazy to get up so you just keep each other warm

and you’d be clinging on to him and he’d be all cheeky, “who’s the starfish, now?” “shut up and hold me, tom” you wouldn’t be able to hide your smile though :)

taglist: @heyrogers @tmrhollandkay @peterspanish @rmillerartemis @hollandmcu @hikiiholland

[margridarnauds]

for the ship thing: wash/mira, ronan/laz, solene/olympe, ivanova/talia, domona/elisa

Wash/Mira 

The TN pairing we deserved. Like, we’ve talked about that “Still doing Taylor’s dirty work?” for ages and you did such a good job discussing it in your answer, but it’s just....SO IMPORTANT. Especially given that we get so little of a personal life for either of them. Like, Mira does NOT like Wash’s position with Taylor and obviously thinks she could do better. I know what the writers probably were going for (bitchy comment by female rival, probably out of jealousy) but....it didn’t work, especially because the look on Mira’s face is rather...irritated? Tired? Pissed? Like, this is not just a casual comment. Mira thinks Wash could do better than Taylor, and if she ever decided to leave Taylor for the Sixers, they would be a damn good power couple. And then that Wash does know exactly where Mira’s old quarters are....like, I’m sure Wash knows where everyone on the colony is, but you can’t tell me they didn’t bang in that house. (Which would have made it more painful when the Shannons moved in because it was one more reminder that she’s Gone and things are never going back to normal.) And, really, we don’t really get how much of a personal BETRAYAL what the Sixers did was, even though you know that personal bonds would have formed. Like, for me, they missed out on a lot of potential by not deepening this bond (and instead giving us an Unfortunate Taylor Bondage Ep), not just as far as giving both of them development, but also on a broader level as far as increasing the emotional stakes (and giving you more vid editing potential because I NEED THAT GAY SHIT IN MY LIFE). 

Ronan/Laz 

Definitely not the ship that I jumped onto 1789 for, but definitely the one that I stayed on it for. I think it’s very versatile, as far as the number of dynamics that you can work with, and the fact that both pairs (Matthieu Carnot/Louis Delort and Ryuu Masaki/Seijou Kaito) had better chemistry with each other than Olympe certainly helped. Obviously, it’s an inherently unequal pairing on multiple levels; I don’t hold any ill will towards anyone who ships it as such, but personally I find it more fun to reverse it so that Laz is a total gay mess who is totally whipped by his boyfriend even though neither party really notices. Personally, I think if we’re going to have Laz represent “the order and rigidity of the Ancien Regime” and Ronan representing the common man’s hopes for the Revolution, there has to be a point where they meet up and reconcile, given that, historically, there did come a point where both sides were pretty damned burned out. (Which is why I go SO HARD for the French version having them embrace each other at the finale, though I’m also enough of a slut for angst that Zuka!Laz turning his back on Ronan at the end also owns my soul.) 

And, in both the versions that are currently available (I’m steeling myself for the Toho with the knowledge that we’re going to get a much more...aggressive Laz this time around), there are so many queerbaiting signs that there’s...something that extends past hatred. Like, you’ve got French!Laz SWITCHING THE FUCKING “YOU”S DURING MANIAQUE (Going from over politeness to an extent that really would NOT be necessary with a man so below his station to using the informal “you”....after the half-naked homo-erotic dance number. Gee, I wonder what they could have done to merit the switch), you’ve got Laz jealously lingering in the background during La Rue Nous Appartient, you’ve got Olympe’s nightmare having the words “Monsieur de Peyrol, he’s yours now. Do whatever you wish with him” (Which....Olympe knows.) And...again....the FUCKING HUG DURING POUR LA PEINE. And this is post-Father Killing, not including the Almost Kiss. And then the Zuka version just.....ramps it up. From the entirety of Maniaque to Laz IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARDS trying to get Ronan away from the Revolutionaries, to Ronan actually calling out his friends the next time he sees them (if he really hated Peyrol that much, why the Hell would he give a damn what he thought about his friends, AKA the people who gave him a job when he staggered into the print shop?), the way Laz steps up from behind Ronan when he talks about “being able to make the ones we love happy,” and then...the finale, where Ronan gets shot in the cross-fire, Laz IMMEDIATELY gives the Bastille up, and Ronan reaches out to him before falling on the ground. And that’s not even touching on things that can be strung together like The Coat Theory. 

Basically, they banged on the printing press. It’s canon. And Ronan wanted to save his boyfriend and his boyfriend wanted to save him but, at some point, they just...barely missed one another. It’s so nice they end up in the Cretaceous together. 

Solene/Olympe 

The age old joke with me: 

Me: Oh, Peyronan is my OTP; I have so many ideas I want to work with them! 

Me: I want to do some writing! *Writes Solympe fanfic*

*Starts sweating*Me: I have no idea where that came from, I swear it just--

*Three more Solympe fanfics crawl out of my Notes application*

Me: .....Fuck. 

Still a very odd ship for me, because it’s so damn hard to work with what we’ve got in canon and keep a continuity going. I ship it to Hell and back, since it gives me an opportunity to work with two characters who never got the chance to meet up, as well as really touch on a lot of things that we never really got in canon. (Also, I’ve lowkey considered doing a straight-up self-indulgent role reversal where Solene is arrested and sent to the Bastille, where she meets up with Olympe, who is following in her father’s footsteps.) In many ways, I think they do work as a more functional version of L/R, having to make many of the same decisions and choices (though I’d argue that Solene parallels Laz more than her own brother and, in some ways, Olympe mirrors Ronan.) In many ways, I can’t really...conceive of writing one without the other, in the sense that I think they’re very much two sides of the same coin? I don’t know; one day I’ll actually type out how these two ships mirror and contrast one another, but suffice it to say I do try to tie the two of them together SOME WAY even if it’s not always exactly...clear to me. Solene has definitely gone through some hard knocks, and it’s a lot more obvious in the way she carries herself and goes about relationships, whereas Olympe has never really taken a fall like that. She’s obviously experienced pain (especially post-canon), but she’s still had a somewhat rose-tinted childhood, with a loving, middle-class aristocratic family deeply entrenched in Enlightenment ideals. I think in some ways that it’d be hard for Solene to really trust Olympe in a relationship, given how many people she’s loved have betrayed her. (Personally, one thing I really try damn hard to do is to build them up so that, if and when Solene decides to leave her profession to be with Olympe, it’s not so much “Let me take you away from this” cliche for sex work and more...Solene weighing her possible decisions based off of where she is and taking a risk.)

It’s a bit hard because I tend to write them a bit more....pure than I usually like writing, in the sense that so much of their dynamic comes from healing one another. Which is good (obviously, it’s more the relationship ideal that you want to aspire to IRL) but also is very odd to me. Like, with Ronan and Peyrol, I tend to write them as helping one another as well, but they also have so much baggage to get through whereas Olympe and Solene don’t...have that, as much. There are differences, obviously, but it isn’t AS WIDE as I’m used to dealing with. One thing that’s going to be interesting with Pour la Peine is dealing with some of the political differences between the two of them, though I know that tbh it’s not going to last. 

Ivanova/Talia

Obviously, I’m still fairly new to B5, but there is SO MUCH tension here and I really, really appreciate that they’ve built it up like an actual RELATIONSHIP? Complete with fighting over PsiCorps, THE WATER SCENE, etc. Like, it isn’t an insta-love situation, it isn’t just SOFT GIRLS IN LOVE, it has a lot of...weight given to it, and the dynamic isn’t something we get all that much with WLW TO THIS DAY in media. Like, I know that referencing the DS9/B5 Schism is a dangerous game (I love both dearly, so when I speak, I speak as a fan of both), but compared to the cop-out they did with Dax, where we got a kiss, the relationship being due to Dax being (heterosexually) married to the host in another life, and then the love interest being shuttled off, not to be seen again because of a Trill law there was NO sign of in TNG, this feels like a more solid relationship as a whole, even with the knowledge of...what’s going to happen. It wasn’t something that was done lightly or as a stunt, it was a relationship built from the ground up. Which SHOULDN’T be praise in the Year of Our Lord 2018, but here we are. I’m fully expecting this ship to crush my soul. 

Demona/Elisa Maza

Outstanding chemistry in the battle scenes we got, a lot of potential, though it’d be hard to work it into a complete arc with how DEEPLY entrenched Demona’s anti-human attitude is. It would take a long, long arc to do something like that, but goddamit Gargoyles I WANTED it. Also, so much of Demona’s attitude, aside from her own unwillingness to take blame, comes from this sort of need to pull the trigger before someone else betrays her, so it’d be interesting to see how that dynamic would work in a relationship. Like, we got a hint of it with the Thailog/Macbeth situation, where she showed that she STILL could be trusting in a relationship, but Thailog is...odd in the sense that he’s a clone of her ex. Being with someone else, especially a human post-Macbeth...that would be interesting for her. And we do have Weisman saying that Elisa, “also proves or rather disproves Demona's theory that all humans are evil destroyers of the Gargoyle race. Demona's semi-fragile -- or at least ultra-calcified -- psyche can abide that thought.” Obviously, he’s using it to explain why Demona HATES Elisa so much, but...hatred’s a funny thing, and no matter what, Elisa does challenge Demona’s point of view. (Which...again, the last time we really saw that was with Macbeth, which, even though it’s not a ship of mine, still has a lot of romantic tension. And she has the same level of absolutely blinding hatred for him that she has for Elisa. My girl’s even worse than me at dealing with this sort of thing.)

I do like that this is a good, solid enemies to lovers type of ship (or, alternatively, just hatefucking), which is SO RARE to get solid examples of in femslash. And, on many levels, Elisa and Demona are really toe for toe. There wouldn’t really be one of them that’s “weaker” or “more innocent” than the other, and I think Elisa could give as well as she could take, which...being with someone like Demona, would have to be a necessity, and I think that’d extend as well into calling her out on her shit. (We’ve seen repeatedly that she’s not afraid to call Goliath out openly, even in front of the Clan.) Basically, I think it’d be a long arc, it’d be tricky to pull off with anything more than just hatefucking, especially given how often Demona does hurt people around Elisa (with a body count post-City of Stone that at least ranges into dozens of people smashed in a non-fun way), but I think it’d be a fascinating one. And even though I like Goliath, obviously, I never really felt the chemistry between him and Elisa (I know, I know, fandom heresy), and I think Demona/Elisa could yield a LOT more. (Pls Greg Weisman don’t kill me.) 

[angelic-guardienne]

I just realized that I, a lifetime resident of Ignis Hell, never made a post on my thoughts on Episode Ignis!! So I’ll do that now I guess while everyone is asleep and not tag anyone because... yeah.

Spoilers galore bc I don’t know if I can write a coherent review w/o spoiling some things. Just a head’s up, this isn’t really the most comprehensive review, it’s more just me rambling a bit, maybe I’ll do a deeper one later but for now it’s just a bit of a ramble. (this got progressively less comprehensive as the post goes on so just... process with caution)

Cut!!

Um where to start... okay, the gameplay. 

I’d actually played with Ignis a bit in the main game before heading to his DLC, meaning I had a brief familiarity with his controls (so I wasn’t panicking like “hoLY SHIT bells and wHISTLes”), I just hadn’t known what the specializations were for, so that was nice. I like the way he controls. He’s very smooth, sometimes he moves a bit too fast for my eyes (looking at that lightning magic) but other than that loved it. Loved him. Wonderful controls. Heard the blizzard power was OP and I concur. I used it a lot, mostly switched between blizzard and fire, was rarely seen hitting that lightning unless it was for a Total Clarity attack, and even then... the fire. the blizzard.

Ignis’ battle cries! Lovely. I don’t understand the “you’re mine!” trend that seems to appear in every game I play, but it sounded great coming from his lips, so yeah, seal of approval. 

I thank the lord every day for Adam Croasdell.

Ignis taking down those huge MT armors with the lance in two blows! (i’m talking before that segment with Ravus... which I’ll address later i’m sure) I’m a big fan of that. If I saw him do that irl i’d literally collapse. I almost collapsed just watching him do it in the game, but i was already sitting so i didn’t. 

(There were many moments during the dlc where i literally collapsed, but let’s get into that later)

But going back to the voice acting. I heard that some people thought it was rather poor but I found it really great? Ignis sounded a little bit whiny at times and completely done with everyone and everything at others and I loved it. He always conveyed the right emotions. 

There were those moments of course (you guys know the one. where he pushes off the MTs in the “resist” timeline. and just. keeps screaming. you know the one) but they just made me laugh a bit instead of driving me away. I look fondly on them.

There were actually a lot of moments that made me laugh in this dlc, serious as it was, i just. must have a very lowkey sadistic part of me. I always laughed at the sad parts of movies as a child. anyways. before i talk about those let’s get into these

these being ravus

ravus ravus ravus. my boy. i loved him before and i love him even more now. i’ve had a ravus/oc in the works for a while now and... and now i have a soulmate au in the works as well. help. this just came to mind. i’m sinking further and further into ravus hell on a daily

won’t even get into ardyn hell

back to ravus

love my boy. wanna hug my boy. i knew he was gonna take luna’s death very poorly but i thought we were gonna get a grief scene and be done with it but we got a grief boss battle (which... was hard. he’s so op like... help. the whole time he was on my team i was so happy i didn’t have to fight him and then...) and not one, but TWO grief heavy scenes so i was beyond satisfied. it was great. 

uhhhh ravy’s beard. 3/10 lol. it’s starting to grow on me though (in a metaphorical sense. i can’t grow a beard.) someone give him a candy cane and put him in red and call him kris

uhhh

(this is getting less and less coherent as we go and i’m sorry)

i’m sorry ravus’ beard is so hilarious. did he grow it because there wasn’t anyone around anymore to tell him not to? whoops made myself sad haha 

Oh! let’s talk about ardyn!

loved all the ardyn content. ardyn made me laugh and curse a lot, mostly laugh because... so theatric. the hat (you know the lil pat pat he gives that MT soldier he puts his hat on) and his little scandalized noises (the gasp he makes when ignis presents the ring in the alt ending) and that fucking scene where he’s revealed to be a grave robber and summons the armiger like it’s snowing outside

which it probably was

beside the point

Ardyn was good in this dlc. thank you Darin de Paul. lovely. his evil laughs... chills down my spine. but he evil laughs in a way that makes me both want to punch him and laugh with him. ardyn ignites emotions in me that i cannot name. not good ones, but ones all the same.

seriously though even if i wasn’t a fan of ardyn, ardyn was great in this. he’s slimy as hell and honestly... wow. he seemed like he was losing him mind a bit in this dlc and i love it. i’m 99% sure it was because of the ring. ardyn’s always a little bit crazier when it comes to the ring and this was allllll about the ring. so kudos for making it a trend

i... have a lot of thoughts about ardyn here. i just can’t express them correctly right now. ask me about them later and maybe i’ll be able to articulate. i’m sick and barely awake and all my brain is giving me is an “ardyn? cool bro” help.

there was more i said i’d come back around and talk about. um.

that mini stealth segment with ravus! wild. literally collapsed and almost missed the quicktime event in the second one. now i wanna replay the episode just to see what happens when i miss the quicktime events. i wanna do that with all of them actually. catch me doing that after i pick up my controller again. missing literally every. quicktime. event.

WAIT CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT PART WHERE IGNIS FUCKING FLINGS HIS DAGGER INTO THE FACE OF AN MT

BECAUSE THAT WAS HOT AS ALL HELL

HE JUST CASUALLY THREW IT

ALSO IGNIS HOLDING HIS DAGGERS BACKHAND IS MY WEAKNESS

WILL NEVER GET OVER EITHER OF THOSE THINGS

ohhh let’s talk about the parts where i literally collapsed.

1) when the eastern bridge collapsed just as ignis was about to cross it and he looked so done

2) when ravus and ignis did their stealth takedowns

3) when ignis was all “i presume you weren’t born with a prosthetic” like igNIS

4) when ardyn summoned his entire armiger to fire at ignis in the alt end

5) every time ignis screamed in general

6) when ardyn’s sword hit igs in the face and knocked him out

7) “This world means nothing to me. Do with it as you wish.”

8) AND THE LAUGH THAT IGNIS LETS OUT AFTER THAT LINE

9) when i got the bad fucking end because time limits

10) when ravus found lunafreya’s dead body and immediately went into rage mode

11) when ragey ravus attacked ignis

12) when ardyn showed up as gladio

13) obvi. ignis taking down the huge mts

14) while screeching in frustration, whenever ignis fell off of the fucking rooftops

15) oh, when ignis ripped off his earpiece

now let’s talk about the moments that made me laugh bc there were... admittedly quite a few

1) “Don’t be asinine.”

2) the way ardyn fuckin gasped when he saw that ignis had the ring in the alt ending

3) ignis pushing those MTs off of him in the “resist” timeline

4) ignis sprinting?

5) caligo immediately (and... ineffectively) trying to drag Ravy’s edges as soon as the man was out of earshot

6) ignis talking in his little earpiece 

7) “Have you lost your marbles?”

8) “I wouldn’t do that if I were you” Ardyn says a solid number of seconds after Ignis puts on the ring

9) actually all of ardyn’s quote regarding ignis wearing the ring? the man was just like... “wow who is this kid”

10) ravus calling ignis “boy”

11) ardyn just fucking tossing noctis

12) and then tossing ravus as well

13) ignis going full halt next to pryna even though noct is right there, seems even he can’t escape the power of dogs

14) “Let your hair down!”

15) ardyn summoning his entire armiger to attack Ignis with

16) gladiolus “if you’re alive then pick up the damn phone” amicitia

17) the fact that the empire just carries around coeurls for no other reason than to drop down on ignis as cannon fodder

18) ignis sounding (cordially) ticked off with literally every altissian aside from weskham

19) fuckin. watching caligo control his mech in the boat chase

and moments that produced emotions i cannot explain

1) ignis always getting close to the altar/noctis and then getting knocked away by a freak accident

2) iggy getting healed by the crystal’s light (you know the scene. his hair is all down and that’s... the most beautiful i’ve seen him)

3) ardyn going to stab noctis and the dramatic irony bc we know he wouldn’t actually kill him and is just getting a reaction from ignis

4) ravus throwing the dagger at ardyn!!

5) quick recipeh

6) getting fucking. knocked off the edges of buildings. and taking fall damage

7) “I don’t want to die without him”

8) ignis seeing the claw of the fallen mt and immediately thinking “hookshot”

9) one-man army ignis

10) ignis being so very realistically tired after every single battle

11) ignis with his hair all the way down

12) fire eyes

13) fire body

14) generally ignis living up to his name

15) fuckin. father christmas over there

16) ignis asking noctis not to complete the journey and noctis turning it around so quickly jk that actually really really hurt

17) having to watch ignis feel around for everything

18) also i don’t know if anyone else caught this, maybe it’s just my game but i noticed in the ardyn v ignis fight in the alt ending, a lot of the recorded sounds of noct warping/fighting are mixed in the jumble of ardyn and ignis’ fighting sounds. i can’t tell who is making said sounds but i hear them all the time

so yeah

my general view of episode ignis? heartwrenching, 10/10, would recommend, would play again, will play again, all the best things, love it very much, will hold it near and dear to my hear. lovely lovely dlc.

[justpeachy--keen]

Peach Blossom Clearwater -- Character Sheet

i was supposed to do great things / i knew the rules though / but i wasn’t raised to shoot for fame / i had the safety on / i cut my ties, i sold my rings / i wanted none of this / if you start from scratch, you have to sing / just for the fun of it

Archetype — The Creator Birthday — March 25, 2001 Zodiac Sign — Aries MBTI — ENTJ Enneagram — Type 7: The Enthusiast Temperament — Sanguine Hogwarts House — Ravenclaw Moral Alignment — Chaotic Good Primary Vice — Gluttony Primary Virtue — Diligence Element — Water

Overview:

Mother — Foster Mother: Angelica Martin; Birth Mother: Peony Cabrera-Rodriguez Father — Foster Father: Thomas Martin; Birth Father: Jesus Rodriguez Mother’s Occupation — homemaker/heiress Father’s Occupation — owned surf shop Family Finances — wealthy Birth Order — she was smack dab in the middle of her foster siblings Brothers —  Mark (17), Devon (16--birthday in December) Sisters — Rachel (13), Veronica (10) Other Close Family — None. Best Friend — Marta Tinney Other Friends — Patrick, Melanie, James, Malik Enemies — Georgia Pets — None. 5 foster children were enough. Home Life During Childhood — For an orphan, Peach was pretty lucky. She was never abused. Her first foster family kept her until she was eleven, even with her powers. The other kids teased her and she was a bit quiet and shy, but it wasn’t so bad. When she moved in with the Martins, she blossomed. They were a loving family and she thought that they might actually adopt her... Town or City Name(s) — Sydney, Australia! Born and raised--well, as far as she knows. (She was actually born in Rio de Janeiro and she likes to think she was born in Avalor.) What Did His or Her Bedroom Look Like — She shared with foster siblings. There weren’t a lot of things that were just hers, and she didn’t really get to decorate in her first home. In her second home, everything was pink, pink, pink! Any Sports or Clubs — Cheerleading, dance team, football, softball, she’s actually surprisingly sporty. She also loves to surf. Favorite Toy or Game — Clue was her favorite board game. She was wicked good at it. She also likes playing piano, her foster brother Mark taught her. Schooling — Public schooling, nothing special. Favorite Subject — Literature, definitely. Popular or Loner — Popular after she was in middle school, average amount of friends before that. Important Experiences or Events — being abandoned, changing foster homes, when she spied on her neighbor and found out they were doing very bad things!!, when her foster parents just gave her up without a second thought. Nationality — Australian Culture — ...Australian? (Barbies and the outback!!) Religion and beliefs — Kind of believes in “fate” and “destiny” more than anything else.

Physical Appearance:

Face Claim —  Camila Mendes Complexion — Tan skin, very smooth and pretty. Hair Colour — Black Eye Colour — Brown Height — 5’2 Build — Sporty, she’s got thick thighs and broad shoulders and strong arms because she does all sorts of dance and sports. Tattoos — None! Piercings — Ear piercings Common Hairstyle — Down, kind of wavy. But she’ll put it in a ponytail or pig tails or a little braid. Clothing Style — Very modern but vintage inspired so lots of knee socks and plaid skirts. That kind of thing. She wears headbands and pearls. Frilly blouses. But, she’ll also just rock t-shirts and high waisted shorts. It really just depends on the day, but she definitely keeps abreast of fashion trends (adding her own little twist to them.) Mannerisms — Quirks her mouth a lot when she’s thinking. Talks with her hands a lot, specifically claps them together or shoos people in her excitement. Loves to give high fives. Usual Expression —

Health:

Overall (do they get sick easily)? — Average. She gets colds a few times a year, but overall pretty healthy. Physical Ailments — None, she’s quite fit. Neurological Conditions — Uhh, none, really. She’s pretty fuckin’ sane, that’s weird. Allergies —  None! Grooming Habits — Takes very good care of her skin and hair. Shaves every day almost. Never leaves the house without make-up on. Sleeping Habits — She lowkey has a lot of trouble falling asleep, so she has a whole routine. And she says nighttime is when she does her best writing. Eating Habits — Eats pretty well, for the most part. But she also love, love, loves sweets. Eats a lot of candy and chocolate, for sure. Loves to bake. Exercise Habits —  Goes running, does pilates and yoga. Loves to play sports. Will try to get on the cheerleading team. Emotional Stability — Ummm. Honestly? Pretty good. She’s got some lowkey PTSD from the stuff she saw. And she’s got abandonment issues. Oh, also, she’s kind of a compulsive liar. Don’t believe anything she says really. Body Temperature — Average. Sociability — Very social. She doesn’t have the greatest social instincts though. She’s very good at reading people, but not at reading a situation, if that makes sense? Like she doesn’t always say the right thing, but she’s usually right about what she does say. Addictions — None. Uhh unless you count lying? Drug Use — Hasn’t done drugs!! (Yet) Alcohol Use — Got drunk once with her foster brothers. Devon tried to kiss her. It was really awkward.

Your Character’s Character:

Bad Habits — Lying. Creating a version of herself she thinks that people will like in order to gain status. Picking at her cuticles. Blurting out things that probably shouldn’t be said in mixed company. Good Habits — She’s really a great friend, very supportive. She’s super smart and analytical. Best Characteristic — Great friend, really. Worst Characteristic — Compulsive lying. Worst Memory — Her foster parents turning her away. Best Memory — “You know, it’s so much harder to think of bad memories than good memories, I wonder why that is?” - Something Peach has definitely written in her journal. Proud of — Her lying skills. Her writing. Her photography. Her dancing. Basically anything she creates. Embarrassed by — Her need to lie. Driving Style — She’d be a pretty good driver, too bad no one will teach her how to drive. Thomas was going to start in the spring, cry. Strong Points — Intelligent, analytical, clever, insightful, caring, curious. Temperament — Happy go lucky! Peach is one of those people who you will never see sad or angry if she can help it. Weakness — Getting tangled up in her own lies; wanting validation. Fears — People thinking she’s stupid or unworthy. Phobias — Minor arachnophobia. Not much else, she’s pretty fearless. Secrets — Who she is, basically everything about her, lol. Regrets — Having gotten caught spying on her neighbor and the whole mess she’s got herself in. Feels Vulnerable When — Someone catches her having an emotion that is not happy. Pet Peeves — uhm she tries not to have them, because that doesn’t go with her zen lifestyle. Conflicts — The fact she knows everyone would hate her if they knew she was lying to them. Motivation — To be admired. Short Term Goals and Hopes — Be admired, do well in school, make friends, explore. Long Term Goals and Hopes — Be a famous writer. Sexuality — Bisexual, probably? Mostly undecided. She probably thinks she’s straight but also knows sexuality exists on a spectrum. Day or Night Person — Day, or well, she wants to be day, but has insomnia that keeps her up late. Introvert or Extrovert — Extrovert. Literally got 100% extroverted on her Myers-Briggs. Optimist or Pessimist — Optimist. Aggressively an optimist.

Likes and Styles:

Music — Pop is her favorite genre. Yup, she’s definitely that girl, though she went through her #scene phase. But her faves are people like Katy Perry and Carly Rae Jepsen (it pains me to put those two next to each other, but to Peach, they’re one in the same.) She loooooves to dance, so anything that gets her moving is going to be what she likes to listen to. Though, she also loves to belt it out with Adele, etc. Books — Gosh, the better question is what books doesn’t Peach like? And the answer would be none! Because there is something to be gained from any book you read! She’s an avid reader, though she kind of keeps it on the down low. But you can’t be a good writer without reading! Magazines — Got to keep up with all the latest gossip! Peach loves all magazines, but she knows to take them with a grain of salt. At least, tabloids. She doesn’t really read things like the Times. Foods — Like I said above–Peach is a huge fan of candy. But, she also likes fruits a lot. Really anything sweet. Though she likes savory and spicy too. Basically, she isn’t particularly picky. She likes lollipops a lot and definitely can be seen eating them quite frequently. Drinks — She doesn’t really have a preference to what she drinks. She likes water. She likes lemonade, juices, soda pop. She’s tried vodka before and was not a fan, but she won’t admit that to anyone and definitely would try alcohol again. Animals — Peach loves anything cute! She’s not a fan of creepy-crawlies or snakes or anything like that or “ugly” does like hairless ones or ones that drool too much. She’s a little afraid of any like–super big animals too (like horses, GASP). One of the first things she’s going to do is buy a cat, even though that is really not advised… Sports — Peach loves sports! Playing them, anyways. She’s not really into watching them on TV, but she’ll definitely go to like--rugby games or football games. And she loves cheerleading, so she’ll probably be at all the games. Social Issues — Her social awareness is still developing but she does consider herself a feminist. Favorite Saying — “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” - Ernest Hemingway Color — Pink! Peach loves pink, always has. Yes, it’s “stereotypical” and “girlie” but she loves it. It makes her happy–the brighter the better, and she often can be seen wearing it. Whenever she’s in a bad mood, she puts on some pink and instantly feels a little better. She’s easy to please like that. Jewelry — Her pearl necklace. Her foster mother bought it for her when she turned sixteen. Websites — Tumblr. Instagram. Twitter. Facebook. She’s big into all the social media stuff. TV Shows — Game of Thrones. Once Upon a Time (yes she knows it is problematic, let her live.) Shows like Gossip Girl and The OC. Lost. Star Trek lowkey. Anything with good writing and/or an interesting concept. She’s a big binge watcher. Movies — Oh gosh. She likes a good mystery, that’s for sure. Also stories within stories (frame stories!!) like Moulin Rouge, Princess Bride, the Fall, and Singin’ in the Rain. But, she really does like anything with a good story. She’s also not one of those snooty “book is better than film” because she can understand the merits of both. Some of her favorite book adaptations are V for Vendetta, Water for Elephants, and the 2005 Pride and Prejudice. Greatest Want — To be appreciated. Greatest Need — To be loved.

Where and How Does Your Character Live Now:

Home — Castle Suites 42W Household furnishings — Modern and sparse, she didn’t want to spend too much money on them, but her apartment is decorated very cute. A few paintings on the walls and lots of throw pillows. Favorite Possession — Her pearl necklace. Most Cherished Possession — Her journals and notebooks. Neighborhood — Gated community. Town or City Name — Sydney, Australia Details of Town or City — It was Sydney, Australia. Married Before — None. Significant Other Before — None. Children — None. Relationship with Family — Nonexistent now. Car — None. Career — None, but she’ll probably have to get a job. Dream Career — A famous writer. Dream Life — A famous writer, that’s it, that’s all she cares about. Love Life — Nonexistent, but she’s hoping that’ll change. Talents or Skills — Good writer, dancer, singer, photographer; she is not too shabby at painting either. Not bad at surfing and a few other sports. Intelligence Level — Too smart for her own good. Finances — Her foster family was wealthy and they did spoil her.

Your Character’s Life Before Your Story:

Past Careers — None. She helped out at the surf shop sometimes. Past Lovers — None, her foster brother Devon was her first kiss. Biggest Mistakes — Spying on her neighbor. (Though, does she really regret it? No.) Biggest Achievements — She probably won writing contests in school and ones she sent out.

[thedegenerateasexual]

top 10 teen wolf episodes as rated by me i guess

IN the order from most to least favorite, and i did not include any 6B ones because it isn’t fair for me to use those when the season isn’t finished yet. (EDIT: season is now finished and while none of the 6B episodes made the ranking i did adjust the honorable mentions accordingly.) this is long & i had fun making it

3.19 Letharia Vulpina: ok ok so just like Everyone Knew I Would i did pick this one because of all the prime derek/chris material—that all-important moment where they had their claws and gun trained on each other, being handcuffed to a bench together, derek saving chris’s life despite insisting he wasn’t gonna—BUT there’s literally not a single second of this episode i don’t love. we open with deaton being a total badass and scaring the shit out of some yakuza dudes, then KIRA gets to be a badass, and then there’s a small scott/allison/isaac moment when he’s all laid up (which was my ot3 for a little while in 3A…don’t judge), allison gets to threaten peter with a stun baton on her girlfriend lydia’s behalf, and that doesn’t even BEGIN to get into the absolute delight it is to watch everyone running around trying to deal with all the chaos the notgitsune is causing (we even got to see coach get shot, which was actually pretty funny??). between all of that and the plot twist at the end (that we all saw coming…but hey) that it was really the nogitsune pretending to be stiles all along (and the very…gay…thing going on with him and scott), it’s literally like, the perfect episode. there was even a rain battle at the end i fucking love rainy scenes. PEAK television.

4.12 Smoke & Mirrors: my two favorite characters on the dumb werewolf show are derek hale & scott mccall and this episode is like a great big flashing sign that says “LOOK AT HOW AWESOME DEREK IS AND LOOK AT HOW AWESOME SCOTT IS!!!” because scott finally gets to KICK PETER’S ASS and comes back from something he shouldn’t be able to come back from because he’s SCOTT MCCALL, TRUE ALPHA, and how can we forget my son derek finally achieving the full shift and giving that big old “FUCK YOU” to kate argent. if that wasn’t enough, my third favorite character chris argent gets the second-closest he’s ever come to weeping in this entire series when confronting the sister he can’t kill at the end. also kate is in this episode and she’s the best villain i love her presence onscreen. also peak television.

1.12 Code-Breaker: i love s1 SO FUCKING MUCH bc it was so tightly plotted - it’s like back to the future and holes, it’s one of those things where every line serves a purpose and there’s no spare bits, and tw’s plot becomes such a mess later that it’s honestly really amazing. so code breaker is my favorite one because all the plot stuff comes together really well, and it’s just like well-done overall, there’s that sick backwards shot of allison, chris’s Angst when he realizes his sister is a serial killer, scott trying Really Really Hard and derek being Really Really Done (why don’t they have more scenes together…), stiles and peter cracking me up with the laptop password gag, like…there’s literally no part of this ep that isn’t a delight (also again kate is in it i love kate as a villain). it’s wonderful 10/10

3.14 More Bad Than Good: i had a real hard time with this one vs. the one immediately before it, the first one of 3B, but i love both bc i love watching scott stiles and allison absolutely losing their shit. in the end i like this one better bc 1. you get to watch them beat it and 2. they finally find and rescue malia and i FUCKING LOVE malia, my own daughter, also the scene where she reunites with her dad makes me misty every time. bonus content: watching araya hack off peter’s finger :D :D :D AND this is the first time derek gets to make heart-eyes at braeden. i’m so happy whenever he’s happy!!! 

6.05 Radio Silence: this episode is everything i love about 6A all wrapped up in a nice neat lil package. i love 6A bc it totally fucking surprised me by making me like things i did not think i’d like, the biggest being stiles/lydia. and like…this season fuckin SOLD me on it, the way she fights tooth and nail to get him back and the way he’s so patiently waited for her reminds me 2much of claire & ben from @cambionverse and the beginning of me being sold was this ep, when they had the wall between them, and when they finally talked on the radio. and this episode even made peter hale interesting for 30 entire seconds which i thought was impossible—it was cool that he did One Genuinely Selfless Thing by going through the portal to save malia, and later when malia and scott had to take his pain to get at stiles’ keys you could almost imagine for a second he got to pretend someone actually DID care about him, that’s his reward for doing a single selfless thing. it was also stellar to see stiles (and the jeep!!!) again and see him working the problem from the other side it was like getting real sam back after half a season of soulless sam in spn s6 DO NOT call me out for referencing this show

4.05 I.E.D.: go look at these gifsets and read the tags. now come back. …okay okay aside from, That, which i won’t repeat as to avoid two paragraphs of capslock, derek also smiles in this episode. even scott is alarmed by it. HE’S HAPPY i’m happy he’s happy!!!!! i’m happy he loves scott!! i’m happy he spends half the episode trading long lingering looks with his future boyfriend!!!! but if that wasn’t enough this episode KEEPS ON GIVING because at the very end the calaveras show up and bully chris into saying the original code, and forgetting his daughter’s, which is deeply relevant to all my headcanons about the code lowkey being like indoctrination (watch that shit again it’s fucking wild…), and also it’s one of the only times in the series where he looks genuinely freaked out and i love watching his Turmoil™

6.10 Riders on the Storm: this is also everything i love about 6A in one ep, just like, less concentrated, bc there’s also the nazi werewolf (tho even PETER HALE getting judgy @ the nazi was truly a highlight). its got all the Big Damn Reunions, its got STYDIA, its got peter actually being slightly interesting, its got scott mccall: badass. its actually also got lydia martin: badass, which like…About Damn Time. it’s even got chris argent: badass, and it’s also got chris argent: badass smooching on a beautiful lady w/ his hands in her hair!!!! (her: that was so hot! me: GIRL ME TOO) also they thought this was the last stiles ep ever so his goodbyes to everyone were like really sweet & made me emo af

3.22 De-Void: so obviously i love this one because derek’s line when he was under thrall about “you’re NOT my ally you’re a HUNTER” got me into the dumb rarepair i wrote like 60k for so far but also i do genuinely deeply love the sequence where they exorcise the notgitsune from inside stiles’ head—lydia facing her fears in the ruined prom dress is such amazing imagery + im gay for the scott/stiles reunion. bonus content includes chris & allison interaction which breaks my heart (he’s so proud of her!!) and the tense kickass scene in the loft in the opening where the notgitsune (SCARY MOTHERFUCKER) is trying to goad chris into shooting it. i don’t love ALL of this ep bc it has so much thumb twins (& from here down there are no more perfect ones…sad) but i love MOST of it and the parts i do love are fantastic. so. i’ll deal w/ thumb twins

3.06 Motel California: look i know this episode should disturb the fuck out of me bc 1. derek and jennifer bang & in my eyes that isn’t a consensual encounter and 2. all the creepy ass suicides but like…honestly there is something so soothing about motels to me, i’ll put this one on to just chill out anyday. like it is delightfully creepy and i love all the meat to everyone getting hit with their baggage (uh…except the thumb twins), but mostly it’s the #mood i love. i actually even like the derek scenes before the sex starts because he is So Wounded and So Sad (“everyone around me gets hurt” BYE) and they rarely let him actually emote at all so it’s very refreshing

2.03 Ice Pick: this was like…such a perfect & amazing introduction to the new betas like if the new ppl in s4 and beyond had gotten this kind of good introduction (and hadn’t been killed off so quickly…) i would love them about 10x more. it’s got that nice s2 vibe that most ppl are into and i still love erica & boyd w/ all my heart!!! (DONT really love how creepy derek was w/ erica but we’ll blame it on being the alpha.) i also love how fucked up the scene with allison tied to the chair was & the fucking fight between derek’s pack and scott at the end…like scott gets to win a 2-on-1 fight and then derek gets to be mr. cool alpha dude and kick his ass. i LOVE THOSE FIGHT SCENES and bc of this episode “iron” is my derek theme song. so.

HONORABLE MENTIONS aka these were on the original list but didn’t make the cut:

1.11 Formality (aaalllll of derek’s ugly backstory this was when i knew i loved him)

2.10 Fury (the first ep i ever watched live, will always be fond of it for that reason even tho i don’t give 2 shits about matt)

2.11 Battlefield (the theme of doing things bc of the power of love will always get me, it was also the only teen wolf episode i ever made gifs of, back when i knew how to make gifs)

3.12 Lunar Ellipse (for scott becoming a true alpha for REAL + derek’s big ol’ well-deserved fuck-you to jennifer, i didn’t love 3A but this was such prime derek & scott material)

3.13 Anchors (like i said: watching stiles, scott, and allison all COMPLETELY lose their shit, also did you know the anchor allison chose in this ep ws her new code? Interesting)

3.24 The Divine Move (listen...you can laugh at the cheesy sfx ALL you want but when i watched kate argent come back from the dead to menace derek hale like his own worst nightmare come to life LIVE with mine own two eyes i jumped out of my seat and YELLED like everything about that moment was absolutely PERFECT and very few things are ever gonna top it)

4.08 Time of Death (derek learning to use a gun and then getting it on with braeden…bye)

4.11 A Promise to the Dead (not only chris unsticking himself from the wall for allison and scott’s sake but also derek and braeden walking around his loft half-naked in the rain...nice)

5.05 A Novel Approach (the stiles and donovan altercation…the first 15m where he acts with his face without saying a word…enough said)

5.18 The Maid of Gévaudan (i'm bitter about the flashback because i want ALLISON but it was a nice origin story + scott fighting the beast all on his own to save that library full of kids was one of the only truly amazing moments of 5B)

6.08 Blitzkrieg (the sheriff rebuilding stiles’ room and saying goodbye to claudia makes me really for real cry but there’s so much nazi bullshit that i couldn’t justify having the episode as a whole being one of my favs)

6.13 After Images (chris argent absolutely losing his shit the entire ep, fucking love it)

6.19 Broken Glass (derek hale's comeback and he got to spend all of his screentime with chris argent! i seriously considered poking this into the #10 spot but ultimately the sideplot i hated with malia and scott had so much more screentime i can't use it - i can't list an episode i'm always skipping parts of!)

[melancholy-queen]

REIGN SPOILERS AHEAD

i’m putting all of my thoughts about the series reign on this, i probably forgot a lot of shit, but thats okay. also I’m sorry if this is very long, i have lots of opinions. scroll past!

so im on season 3 episode 7 and here are my thoughts as of this moment:

- francis is everything but also he was so controlling of mary jfc

- nostradamus is really hot

- im sad for mary that francis is dead

- frary is endgame

- but i was totally down for bash and mary to get married

- conde was so hot. i miss him already

- i was not down for the whole cheating plot line with mary

- antoine needs to chill and stop being so vengeful

- kenna is a piece of shit, i mean stop self sabotaging yourself please for the love of god

- so apparently, kenna was masterbating on the staircase in the pilot? i thought she ran out of breath from walking up all those goddamn stairs (chill, this is a joke, but i still think it's funny that she couldn't wait to get to her room)

- henry was fucking gross from the minute he walked on screen

- did everyone forget about aylee?

- poor lola, she couldve been so much more

- on the topic of lola, where tf did john philippe go? like he hasn't been in the past few episodes

- bash is so great

- bash does no wrong, i love him

- i liked diane and i miss her

- leith is honestly the most tragic character in this whole show, i love him

- megan follows does such an amazing job, like she is such a good actress

- why tf couldn't greer marry leith? i guess im just not understanding

- they totally brushed off the whole incest thing between claude and bash, gross

- but also good for greer, she's a great madam

- i don't give any shits about lord narcissi

- i loveeee claude and leith, get married pls

- i really wanted mary and francis to have a child and i almost cried at the miscarriage

- charles is a dick, but also fuck me

- catherine de medici is the best thing to have graced this show, i mean fuck me up bitch ahhh

- poor mary! its so sad that she was raped. to me, the show handled the repercussions fairly well

- i liked the whole catherine going crazy plot line, i thought the writers did a good job with her emotions towards her children

- the end did not pay off though, like how did she get better?

- also, the crazy henry plot line was ass, but i liked it almost?

- i thought the francis killing henry was done very well, subtle, but not out of the blue. plus, you could go back and look at the clues in previous episodes to aid to the murder

and now these are my thoughts past season 3, episode 7 all the way to the end:

- yes i want some bdsm in this bitch fuck it up queen

- catherine and mary are so kinky hahahaahahha

- mary's pussy literally killed don carlos (jk)

- this is the best plot line on this show so far lmao

- i like it better when mary and catherine get along

- god i love princess claude

- i hate narcisse

- fuck narcisse

- even though claude's fucking stupid for writing that her mother poisoned her in her diary and not hiding the diary well, i still love her

- narcisse's secretary is hot in a lowkey kind of way

- also, his death scene was very unrealistic

- thank god lola is leaving, fuck narcisse

- i don't like elizabeth, but i guess im not supposed to

- why does claude have to fuck up leith like that? he's already traumatized by greer

- greer is honestly the secret mvp, what a good woman

- i am more invested in claude and leith's story then anything else in this entire show

- i feel so bad for dudley's wife, she didn't ask for this

- catherine is a sex queen and i stan her

- stubble leith is so hot

- adelaide kane is so fucking pretty goddamn

- honestly, fuck the prince of spain

- charles looks like mary and francis' child grown up tbh

- i have no investment in any of the england storyline

- why do none of the ladies in waiting get a normal marriage and life jeez louise

- CLAUDE DESERVES BETTER

- LEITH DESERVES BETTER

- FUCK THE DUKE WHO MARRIED CLAUDE

- CLAUDE IS A QUEEN WTF I LOVE HER SO MUCH I WANT TO MARRY HER OML

- narcisse can suck my dick

- im all for in charge charles

- i don't like gideon

- i have no investment in the elizabeth/dudley shep, but i still find it really sad

- god i hope that gideon doesn't stab mary in the back

- christophe is really creepy

- my inStiNctS weRe cOrRecT jEsuS ChrISt, christophe is insane

- gideon is also insane

- bash is perfect

- bash needs better sleuthing skills

- i fully support the lola and elizabeth friendship

- mary and gideon have no chemistry haha

- DEAR GOD I LOVE LEITH AND CLAUDE

- greer is so strong, i love her

- I’m so for greer and leith’s friendship

- jc not the bash love storyline again

- i totally forgot mary killed narcisse’s son

- wait at what point did mary meet her ladies??

- literally the only part in this show so far to make cry is when mary went back to defend catherine tbh

- idk why i feel sympathy for catherine

- if bash dies i will stop watching

- thank god

- elizabeth is honestly a better friend to lola than mary was

- charles is so dumb

- god why can’t he learn anything, obviously his friend was a traitor

- charles’ traitor friend is bobo nick jonas

- dark mary is my everything

- claude is her mother’s carbon copy

- the valois children have other siblings? where are they and why haven’t we heard of them?????

- munro is so hot

- bash is actually fucking insane

- why is charles so trustworthy?

- when did james become hot?

- mary is so great when she’s not needy and crying for a romance

- how does everyone just kill people so easily??? i can’t even get my blood drawn without wanting to throw up

- lola is HEARTLESS

- IM SO DOWN FOR A CLAUDE/LEITH WEDDING

- also troye sivan? i love it

- charles totally sucks

- wait what happened with the pagans in the blood woods?

- i cannot stand gideon and mary together

- i’m so sad for lola, she was such a good character

- dear god, this was the only death that i’m actually sad for (and this includes francis)

- i want more for john philippe

- NO I TAKE THAT BACK POOR LEITH

- knox is such a creep

- marys brother needs to stop

- i’m so down with seer bash you guys don’t even understand

- mary is wild omg i love this turn around

- when did james get so hot

- lola and francis’ child is so fucking cute omg

- charles’ mental breakdown is crazy

- ewwww gideon and mary are gross af

- I’m all for darnley

- poor claude honestly, but she is a saint

- if he hurts her, ill beat him up

- damn charles is a vampire

- leith deserved so much better

- i love him

- dude i don’t even give a shit about the other relationships in this show, leith and claude are the greatest

- poor leith, I’m so sad

- agatha’s death is so fucking depressing

- i love mary when she actually has a backbone

- yes motherfucker, murder darnley

- i have no sympathy for darnley’s true love dying, he’s so rude and deceiving

- i love the friendship between catherine and mary ahh

- i don’t know how i feel about greer and james

- where did lady kenna go?

- i like the juxtaposition between mary and francis’ wedding and mary and darnley’s wedding with the flowers and attendees and just overall feeling and how adelaide kane acted in it. you could tell that she truly loved francis but doesn’t love darnley and feels scared with him

- also the fact that mary doesn’t match with darnley’s outfits is an interesting choice

- the timeline on this show is very strange

- claude’s character development is beautiful

- the horny witch is my fav

- umm what she’s pregnant?

- nicole can suck my fucking ass fuck her stupid ass

- i wish the end wasn’t so abrupt tbh

- the last five minutes was so good, i teared up

- ugh now i feel empty inside and want to watch it again!!

ugh this show is so good, like insanely good. i feel like most of the time the characterization was wonderful. claude was my favorite, so its no surprise i like claude and leith the best. i didn’t like francis most of the time while he was alive but i missed his presence on the show. bash was an absolute gem. adelaide kane is so hot oml i died multiple times. i really enjoyed watching it!!!

rate: 9/10 archduchesses falling out of a window during sex (still my favorite part of the show)

favorite character: claude! queen catherine!! runner ups: bash, greer, leith, sometimes mary, elizabeth at the endish

favorite season: season 1!! can’t beat the drama!

[may-shepard]

"You don't tell John"

Currently freaking out about @monikakrasnorada’s td12 meta, on the heels of @shamelessmash’s tld extravaganza, absolutely entranced over @221bloodnun​’s work on The Woman in Green, and still alarmed and concerned about Doyle’s The Parasite as an s4 intertext.

Is there a mind control theme running through BBC Sherlock, that is lowkey coming to fruition in s4?

Further thoughts on @monikakrasnorada’s idea about the hospital scene in hlv:

.

.

.

.

If we read Mary’s words as mind control / hypnotic suggestion, then Sherlock is being programmed here not to tell John that she shot him.  

Does the theory wash?

Well, let’s take some gun surgery to the chest a stab at it and see.

The scene ends in a rather strange fashion, with another close-up on Mary’s face:

Sherlock’s eyes drifting shut:

And then him waking up with an apparent gap in time:

We never do get an answer to the question of whether he promised not to tell John, or what he said to Mary, if anything. We get the scene with Janine, and then, the moment Janine leaves, he retreats into mind palace to try to figure Mary out, or so it seems. He starts with this:

.

Mary at her most Woman-in-Greenish. He tries to deduce her, but he gets the smokescreen, the fact of the lie, the cloud of “liar” floating around her. 

There are many potential reasons for this, but what if he can’t get further because she’s put the whammy on him? And what about “you don’t tell John,” which is still first in his thoughts when he conjures up Mary?

Has he told John? Has he tried? A partial answer in the next moment, as John fills Lestrade in on how Sherlock’s doing:

.

Sherlock has said nothing coherent, apparently, which is...really strange, especially since he was perfectly articulate when talking to Janine.

Also, does this sound like Sherlock to you? The man who was so high off his tits in tld that the room was literally turning around him, but he could still recite a speech from Henry V? 

What if he’s tried telling John, and he can’t?

After Sherlock escapes from the hospital and we have the bolthole montage, there’s this:

.

.

.

.

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The scene leads us to believe that Sherlock is protecting John from the truth. Or, if you’re into this sort of thing, he’s protecting Mary (barf) by setting up a confrontation where she’ll be forced to agree to be a client (barf). The narrative implies one or the other. 

BUT does it?

What if Sherlock is doing everything he can to tell John what’s going on, planting clues, and setting up a sting operation in which Mary will reveal the truth, because it’s the only way he can let John in on what happened? What if he’s risking his life to convey this urgent information to John, because he can’t use the words?

Here are a few things Sherlock says during the confrontation at Leinster Gardens (via Ariane de Vere’s transcript):

SHERLOCK (over phone): Only the very front section of the house remains. It’s just a façade. (He draws in a breath.) Remind you of anyone, Mary? A façade.

...

SHERLOCK (over phone): Mary Morstan was stillborn in October 1972. Her gravestone is in Chiswick Cemetery where – five years ago – you acquired her name and date of birth and thereafter her identity. (She starts walking slowly along the corridor.) SHERLOCK (over phone): That’s why you don’t have ‘friends’ from before that date.

[so he’s been doing research, and he can reveal that she has been living a lie, but what about that central truth? That she’s the one who shot him?]

SHERLOCK (over phone): It’s an old enough technique, known to the kinds of people who can recognise a skip-code on sight ..

[he knows what sort of person she is, but will he say it? that she shot him?]

SHERLOCK (over phone): How good a shot are you? (She reaches inside her coat, pulls out her pistol and cocks it, holding it down by her side.) MARY: How badly do you want to find out? SHERLOCK (over phone): If I die here, my body will be found in a building with your face projected on the front of it. Even Scotland Yard could get somewhere with that.

[Certainly this is enough for John, sitting at the end of the corridor with his hair all floofed out, to figure out what’s going on. Between the two of them, Mary and Sherlock have already told Sherlock that she shot him, by implication, kind of sort of. I wonder if that’s enough to break the spell? Still, Sherlock never says it directly. Instead:]

(She nods her agreement, still looking towards the shadowed figure at the end of the corridor. She can see one side of the popped coat collar protruding out of the shadows.) SHERLOCK (over phone): I want to know how good you are. (Softly, encouragingly) Go on. Show me. The doctor’s wife must be a little bit bored by now.

[the business with shooting the coin]

SHERLOCK: And yet, over a distance of six feet, you failed to make a kill shot. (He holds the coin up to show the hole shot through it. He looks like hell – shaky on his feet, sweating and breathing heavily as he continues talking.) SHERLOCK: Enough to hospitalise me; not enough to kill me. That wasn’t a miss. (He smiles slightly.) SHERLOCK: That was surgery.

Okay. He comes very close to saying that she shot him. He implies it. But it’s not a direct statement. 

Previously, I always read the Leinster Gardens deal as Sherlock (for some reason) feeling like it would be somehow be more convincing or effective for Mary to reveal herself. I understood the whole setup as some way for him to involve Mary in the scene, so that John would believe it, or maybe so Sherlock would be there to do some sort of damage control. I was filling in the blanks with a story that made the most sense to me. 

What if it’s much simpler than that?

What if Sherlock didn’t tell John because he couldn’t, because Mary programmed him not to?

Later, during the Watsons domestic, Sherlock again does not directly say that Mary shot him. He talks around it, in the hypothetical:

SHERLOCK (looking at Mary): When I happened on you and Magnussen ... (He takes a couple of noisy, strained breaths, bracing his hands on the arms of his chair.) SHERLOCK: ... you had a problem. (The camera pulls back across the floor of the living room towards the door.) SHERLOCK (offscreen): More specifically, you had a witness.

...

SHERLOCK (voiceover): The solution, of course, was simple. Kill us both and leave. ... SHERLOCK (in 221B in the present): However, sentiment got the better of you... One precisely-calculated shot to incapacitate me ...in the hope that it would bide you more time to negotiate my silence.

And then follows that stuff about her saving him (barf). (I would love it if this were also a result of hypnosis and mind control...because YUCK.)

Sherlock’s speaking much more directly about the shooting, but the cat is rather out of the bag at this point, anyway? Sherlock didn’t tell, but John knows, so there’s a bit more wiggle room? Maybe?

To sum up, a possible reading of this part of hlv is that Mary uses some kind of mind control mojo to seal Sherlock’s lips, but he undoes that spell by working around it. He sets up an elaborate scene in which Mary will basically confess to having done the deed herself, meaning that Sherlock doesn’t have to do it. Once what’s happened becomes clear to John, it loosens the hold of the mind control mojo on Sherlock, so that he can talk about the shooting a bit more directly, although he never states the bald fact of the matter. It’s John who does that: 

JOHN (quietly): She shot you. (Sherlock pulls a face, half-nodding his agreement.) SHERLOCK: Er, mixed messages, I grant you. 

I give you Mr. Punchline, who always has the last word...he seems a bit confused still, doesn’t he?

[Question: There is that weird light effect, like a ceiling fan deal, going on in the hospital  threat / mind control scene between Mary and Sherlock. Someone, in a meta I cannot for the life of me find now, noted that that same effect appears at some point during s4? Anyone know? Could be important.]

[zalrb]

We’re starting to get somewhere {TVD 1x05 Review}

Hi all! Welcome to the fifth review of TVD season 1. Considering that I haven’t like sat down to watch a full episode of the past seasons of TVD in a few years and my memory might not be the greatest I think I will start with my usual disclaimer: I write my thoughts in real time so if I make a mistake at the beginning of this post, it will be corrected by the end. There will be anti-Damon and anti-Delena sentiments (I’m only mentioning these two because it’s the beginning of the series), and in light of recent events I feel the need to say that there may be some anti-Jenna sentiments too. I will probably bring up other shows and call attention to misogynoir, racism, anti-blackness etc. Also I do not have MS Word right now so I wrote this on Kingsoft, which is eh, so some of the formatting might be off. Ready? Let’s go.

1. “In the dark ages, when a vampire’s actions would bring harm or exposure to the entire race, they would face judgement, they sought to reeducate them than to punish them.” So, like, there IS a culture of vampires with certain traditions that Stefan knows but we never ever talk about it, and this line indicates that there is a governing body, which we never explore or hear about ever again. Such a missed opportunity. 

2. “And then in 50 years we’ll reevaluate.” It’s actually a good plan and Stefan is a methodical thinker.

3. LOL I like how Elena is more horrified about what’s happening with Vicki and Jeremy than Jenna. “He could at least be craftier about it, make more of an effort to sneak her in and out.” Like if she’s going to be THAT kind of guardian then she should be proactive about it. Set a place for Vicki at the table, tell them to use condoms, and not sneak her in because if they’re going to have sex she’d at least want to know they’re being safe and they can be all, “Eew! Jenna!” but at least she’s DOING something.

4. I would respect Jenna’s presence a lot more if the show was like “we needed her here so CPS won’t come” except Matt and Vicki are virtually living on their own so Elena and Jeremy could’ve done so as well because Jenna literally serves no purpose #sorrynotsorry

5. I do love Elena mimicking Stefan though because it’s kind of on point. “Hi, uh ... Elena, uh...” LOL SHE IS NOT IMPRESSED and I think it shows how new yet how familiar they are with each other. 

6. “Honestly, I’m not going to be one of those pathetic girls whose world stops spinning because of some guy!” 

Julie Plec:

7. “I hate lying to her, Zach, I’m not GOOD at it” LOL you really aren’t, Stefan. Also Paul looks unbelievably gorgeous, OMG. 

8. “Unbelievable, it’s like nothing happened.” Elena, instead of being lowkey judgemental of Caroline for trying to move on from a traumatic experience, why don’t you TALK to her about it?

9. “I have to be home after school but The Grill, around 4 o’clock?” So when does school end and how long does it take you to get home and then to The Grill from home? Because I finished school at 3:15 so like ... cutting it kind of close, Stefan? At least say 4:30. 

10. I do like that Elena is pissed at Stefan but still wearing the SE, sorry the “DE”, necklace, it’s like when Buffy ws calling Angel a stalker but was still wearing his leather jacket, like OK, girl. 

11. Elena, why would you ask Matt if he’d seen Stefan? That boy is lost in love with you, he done told you he wasn’t give up on you two, like have some tact. 

12. I like how it was supposed to be this huge thing that Elena played pull with Damon in 1x11 but she was playing pool with Matt in 1x05 and he even gets her to stick around by teasing, “I’ll let you break” like you are not special, Damon. 

13. Zach is stupid, Damon is coughing and you go to the cellar, why? 

14. Zach is indulging Damon and I don’t even know why. Like if the coughing was bothering you so much then take a walk. 

15. And see, you get choked out. And I don’t even feel bad. 

16. Also, Elena isn’t talking about Vicki like she’s Matt’s sister. 

17. “How late is it?” “Hitting the hour mark.” Seriously, Stefan, 4:00?

18. So Tiki’s grandfather is all “I know you” to Stefan and Elena turns around to look at Tiki’s grandfather so she’s standing next to Stefan and my God, they’re a gorgeous couple. Like we already knew that but sometimes there’s a moment where Nina and Paul stand next to each other and you’re like WOW, it reminds me of my friend and his boyfriend, like I’d hung out with them many times before but I was coming down the stairs at a party one night, kinda buzzed and I just saw them sitting together and they looked SO hot and I was like holy shit they’re a sexy couple and my other friend came and was like Zal, what’s up and I was like aren’t they a hot couple? And she was like YES and we just spent a good ten minutes with three other people marvelling about how hot they were and that’s how I feel right now. 

19. Although Elena getting upset that an old man thinks he knows Stefan is weird, like the fact that the old man DOES know Stefan aside, Elena doesn’t know he’s a vampire yet, so I don’t think I would be suspicious of that, I’d be like lol ok old man, how many scotches have YOU had?

20. I do think it’s adorable that Elena storms home mad so then Stefan essentially just shows up like “So I’m cooking you dinner” and I love that Jeremy is in on it: “Jeremy told me that chicken parmasean is one of your favourites” because like how did that go? Did Stefan have Jeremy’s number or find him at The Grill somewhere like, I totally screwed up with Elena and I want to make it up to her to apologize, what does she ... I already got her a book, what’s her favourite dish? I can cook!

21. “He claims that he was with her first, I don’t know...” it’s funny because I usually sort of just overlook this line but the fact that Stefan doesn’t know when the timeline with him and Damon and Katherine began is because he was compelled. His memories came back when he turned, yes, but there are still things he wouldn’t know because it was only with Damon whereas Damon knew everything, Damon knew that Stefan was going to be Katherine’s escort to the Founder’s Ball and listened to their conversation in Katherine’s room. Like it’s actually really fucked up that Damon knew everything that was happening and didn’t think to protect Stefan from it. And I would be more ... understanding if there was also a sort of fear with Katherine? If Damon WAS like, he’s just a kid but I’m a man, maybe it should just be you and me and Katherine vamps out on him and chokes him and is like, “My game, my rules, understand?” but nothing like that happens, SO.

22. I really don’t get what it is that Jeremy sees in Vicki. 

23. “But I am no snob” Stefan, honey, you’re a pop culture snob, it’s OK though.

24. These SE smiles, KILL ME. 

25. Something else I just noticed! When Elena cuts her finger and Stefan vamps out, he turns away to hide his face and Elena is trying to get him to turn around and see but he won’t let her:

And in 1x10 the same thing happens except she tells him not to hide from her sohe obliges:

That is called development within the narrative.

26. I also enjoy this scene because it shows the tensions between both of Stefan’s worlds, Elena is getting to know the man Stefan, his interests, his hobbies, they’re vibing but then she cuts her finger and his vampirism springs forward so his other side is always there lurking beneath and he’s battling it to get to know her, to be with her. SE is poetic in a lot of ways, guys, ways in which DE and SC just can’t touch. 

27. I also like that Stefan leans forward to kiss her but stops because he isn’t sure if it’s what she wants and Elena fucking sighs and kisses him like YES YOU IDIOT. 

28. And then she pulls away and Stefan reaches forward for another kiss. Omg they’re adorbz.

29. So how exactly can Damon reach out to Caroline? Is it just because he fed on her? 

30. Seriously, his terrorizing of Caroline just never fucking ends.

31. I do like that she was talking to Tiki about swimsuits because not everything has to be directly related to plot.

32. Omg why do they KEEP going down to the damn basement. Stefan I get that he’s your brother but the whole point is for him to desiccate and you said it would take a week. Come back in a week, fam. Or at least don’t TALK to him. 

33. Lol these dorks trying to get the other to undress. 

34. The Tiki and Bonnie thing still pisses me off. 

35. Jenna and Logan ... Like, I guess. 

36. They could’ve given Candice a better two piece. 

37. I mean this could’ve been a scene where Stefan is topless for longer than 30 seconds but they chose not to and I’m just like but, like, why?

38. Elena is equally bad at lying to Stefan. You two need to try and stop lying to each other because you both see through the other.

39. Jenna, aren’t you supposed to be like a frazzled 26 year old Masters or PhD student but you have time to wait around for an hour for a man you ran away from town because of? I mean, I guess. 

40. Vicki, Jeremy’s parents are dead, do you not think it’s a little disrespectful to take him to a cemetery to get wasted? 

41. “You bit me.” “You liked it, remember?” “Why do I keep remembering the same things but in different ways?” “You remember what I want you to remember.” Oh but Damon didn’t rape Caroline, right? 

42. I completely forgot that Damon chases Caroline throughout the Salvatore house to kill and feed on her but she only got away because he didn’t have his daylight ring. And people ask me to disregard season 1 Daroline?

43. They really shunt Bonnie’s witch storyline to the side until they need her to help Damon and Elena.

44. Vicki’s speech to Jeremy is stupid. I get there is a class difference between them and Vicki would be full of rage because of that and her absentee mom but, like, TVD doesn’t do it well enough for me to think she’s anything more than a brat especially in the context of the speech. Jeremy is rightfully angry because Vicki stole Elena’s pills from his house and they’re getting high in a cemetery which could be triggering to him and he calls the people they’re getting high with waste of space small town lifers and she gets angry like well what am I? But when has Jeremy EVER made her feel like she’s a waste of space? And her saying if she wants to feel like crap she can go back to Tyler is like ... You stole from his house, though. I don’t know, the context is all wrong, at least with Matt and Caroline when she makes a crack about him being a busboy, Matt being upset makes sense. In Friday Night Lights, I felt for Tyra who basically has the same storyline as Vicki and I can’t decide if it’s because of the writing or the acting. 

45. Caroline is SO rude to Liz. And Liz is trying. I get that Caroline is traumatized by what happened but her hostility toward Liz in season 1 is literally something I never got. And please no one say “it’s just a teen thing” because no. 

46. Elena finding out Stefan is a vampire and then immediately going to his house alone being like what are you??? Is like so you must know he won’t hurt you because you’re not being cautious at ALL. 

 OK! That’s all for 1x05 annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd I have 1x06 and 1x07 cued up so when I get home I may or may not review those too!

[silver-soliloquy]

So I actually do have very late notes from last week’s reading! Uh, oops, I’m really slow at translating notes into semi-coherent form apparently

XXXVI

o   Carnival time!

o   Dumas seems to be going for a ~demonic debauchery~ angle here, but tbh costumes and confetti and flowers and parades seem like a pretty good time?  okay

o   Why won’t Edmond get down from his fancy window? I want someone to throw an egg at him

o   Albert finally gets some flirting in!  Well done Albert!  Franz’s fond teasing is both hilarious and adorable

o   Franz apparently really wants us to know that Albert’s peasant costume is really hot?  OKAY THEN FRANZ

o   I’m kind of curious about how much regional variation in dress there was that you can specifically do costumes of peasants from specific areas and expect them to be recognized?

o   “I AM IN LOVE” Albert declares after like 3 days of chucking flowers back and forth with a girl, what a nerd

o   Franz is also “a true Byronic hero” apparently? I am a little skeptical of this, he’s not extra enough

o   Admittedly it’s been a while since I read any Byron, I should maybe brush up since they keep referencing him ALL THE TIME

o   If anyone knows of any articles and suchlike on the relationship between the French and English Romantics I would really love to read that

o   I love that Robin Buss keeps calling out Dumas’s timeline inconsistencies in the footnotes, it’s both hilarious and informative!

o   “he himself would prefer not to be in Paris when the count was there” thus proving that Franz is the smartest person in this novel

o   The whole scene with the moccoletti is absolutely gorgeous, and I love that the carnival ends with as sudden a mood shift as it began—from horror at the execution into revelry and then into darkness and melancholy just like that

XXXVII (the roman numerals are getting kind of ridiculous)

o   FRANZ WHY DID YOU LET HIM GO BY HIMSELF, YOU KNOW HE’S THE MOST TROUBLE-PRONE PERSON IN EXISTENCE OF COURSE HE WALKED RIGHT INTO A TRAP

o   Okay so I’m assuming Edmond arranged for the kidnapping, but was his plan actually just to loan Franz the money or was he actually counting on Franz knowing that he knew the bandits so he could go play the savior without having to suggest it himself?  Your chessmastering gives me a headache, Edmond

o   The thing where he pretends to be surprised that Peppino remembers him saving his life a whole WEEK ago seems…significant

o   I’m glad Teresa is still having fun at parties, although I have a lot of questions about how her life is going as the mistress of the bandit king

o   I feel like Edmond definitely meant for Albert to have to sit and ponder his fate all night, given his penchant for absolute-last-minute saves

o   IS VAMPA IN ON THIS WHOLE BIT OF THEATRE??? EXPLAIN YOURSELF EDMOND

o   Albert is entirely too chill about this whole affair and I can’t stop laughing

o   Franz asking the head bandit for book recs before he goes: EVEN MORE HILARIOUS

o   Okay so by Edmond’s messed-up theories about a person’s reaction to imminent death revealing their True Character, I think Albert did pretty darn well there?  Obviously he didn’t have to wait till the exact moment of death before being saved like poor Morrel (what the hell Edmond), but if this was intended as a test of Albert’s character as well as a way to get him in the count’s debt he should’ve passed with flying colors!  And yet Edmond still can barely deal with shaking his hand :(

o   PLEASE DON’T HURT THIS NICE KID, EDMOND

XXXVIII

o   “I wanted to demonstrate something to those bandits, namely that while people fight one another in every country in the world, only the Frenchman jests as he fights” okay this was hilarious until I thought about “the besieged were running out of cartridges but not out of witticisms; in this whirlwind of the sepulcher in which they found themselves, they laughed” and now I might be crying a little bit

o   Franz is finally realizing that leaving Albert alone with the count is a bad idea!  Well done, Franz!  One near-death experience per vacation is plenty

o   NOW PLEASE GO BACK TO PARIS WITH ALBERT AND KEEP AN EYE ON HIM, THE COUNT’S ~PLANS~ ARE CLEARLY NOTHING GOOD

o   “Worried about the rendez-vous!  I never!  Are you mad, my dear Franz?”  ALBERT THE LAST RENDEZVOUS HE LET YOU GO ON ENDED IN YOU GETTING KIDNAPPED AND ALMOST MURDERED.  THAT WAS LITERALLY LAST NIGHT.  DUDE.

o   Nooooo Franz don’t leave :((((

XXXIX

o   Yay Paris!!

o   YAY MORE FRIENDS!!

o   I…still do not really understand what Debray’s job is, but he’s sure entertaining

o   *lowkey ships Debray/Beauchamp*

o   WHY DID CHATEU-RENAUD AND FRANZ FIGHT A DUEL THOUGH, I NEED MORE OF THIS BACKSTORY

o   How does Franz still think of himself as The Reasonable One when he apparently gets into duels with his close friends for flimsy enough reasons that no one can remember what that was even about later oh my god

o   I love how Albert solemnly swore not to tell anyone about Franz’s hash adventures at Monte Cristo and then turns around and tells literally everyone he knows at the first available opportunity

o   I don’t actually have that much to say about this chapter except that I love all the banter and teasing SO MUCH, these kids are all so delightful and I hope we see much more of them

o   Okay so Edmond is still clearly very fond of Maximilien in his weird creepy way, and he seems surprised to see him but he doesn’t really react to fact that his friend’s kid is friends with his enemy’s kid? I’m interested that that didn’t get more of a spotlight, since that seems like it’s going to be an Issue with Maximilien later in the book?

XI

o   Edmond does surprisingly well with being thrown into the Baby Dandy Bffs crowd first thing in the morning, that seems like kind of a weird way to introduce someone to ~society~ but our Count is unruffleable as ever!

o   “how do you go without food and sleep for that long????” “oh, drugs” EDMOND THAT IS NOT HEALTHY WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

o   Wait so that was Haydee whose freedom Edmond bought with the giant ridiculous emerald, right?

o   Edmond quit trolling poor Maximilien

o   “They did not know whether Monte Cristo was play-acting, but everything that this man said, despite his eccentricity, was delivered in such a simple tone that it was impossible to suspect him of anything” OH BOY

o   Edmond sure is Weird about Haydee

XLI

o   Albert has Notre Dame de Paris fanart on his walls oh my gosh what a cutie

o   Hi Delacroix!!  This is about the time he was bopping around Morocco fueling everyone’s interest in Orientalism, right? (thanks a lot, Delacroix)

o   Dauzat’s Orientalism travel art isn’t actually that bad, he seems more interested in intricate architecture and really big rocks than creepily exoticizecd people.  And he did Sinbad fanart! (although not till the 1860s I think)

o   On the other hand, probably I’m just relieved that he’s not Jean-Leon Gerome levels of terrible, I really hate that guy

o   ANYWAYS ART HISTORY NERD TANGENT OVER

o   Wait no it’s not, the class-as-costume thing from carnival getting lampshaded in the portrait of Mercedes is super interesting—also that Albert apparently either doesn’t recognize the style or doesn’t know his parents’ history?  Either way there’s so much disguise in this book I just want to take note of Mercedes’ original identity represented through her poor Catalan clothes being taken for another disguise

o   Also it’s just really cute that Albert keeps a portrait of his mom in his room

o   …Antoine-Jean Gros is the same one as Grantaire’s ex-teacher, yes?  Is there room for crossovers here because I would like Grantaire and Albert to be friends please

o   Okay so the thing with Albert’s family’s coat of arms and his nobility on his father’s side—did I miss something about Ferdinand or did he just totally make all this up after he got rich and titled??

o   Mercedes is still the best!!!

o   THIS GUY IS SKETCHY, literally everyone screams at Albert as he cheerfully ignores them

o   Nothing to add to the last chapters except that Edmond apparently thinks it’s really entertaining to torment his servants, nice